#also let me know if anythings wrong!!!
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eos pt. 2
#im actually close to finishing the game naow... i got to dialga's fight but got my ass kicked#this game is making me emotional wtf.. i teared up a little when my team reunited with the guild#and when they told them the truth abt grovyle and everyone agreed to help them. thats so. peace and love oh my god#also chatot.. i was wrong abt him he comes thru even if hes annoying. “prized recruits” YOURE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY#team skull also. like i cannot defend them being assholes but i still felt bad seeing them beat up#this game is so good at making me feel things towards characters i was actually filled with seething rage everytime i had to watch#team skull scheme against me and not do anything. ALSO the reason why i had such a grudge against chatot to begin with#is bc he THREW ME UNDER THE BUS bc of the apples without letting me EXPLAIN MYSELF#SO IT WAS REALLY FUNNY WHEN HE SAID HES FILLING IN FOR WIGGLYTUFF AS LEADER AND EVERYONE WENT “DEADASS?”#damn i can see why so many ppl make pmd ask blogs. im actually tempted to use my team if i didnt already know#that i would probably get bored and do smth else after a month <- did this multiple times while in pokeask#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd#explorers of sky#eos#my art#myart#doodles#pmd oc#marmalade#neptune
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Trigger Warning- Implication of Suicidal thoughts/ideation.
I started this comic around two-ish months ago only to drop it. But I managed to finish! Brief explanation and inspiration below if you are interested.
This comic is inspired by the song "Easy-peasy Euthanasia" by Pepoyo. As I listened to it, I couldn't help but think that the lyrics at this particular part were incredibly fitting for what I believe to have been going through Stanley's head when he was "traveling the country". The meaning of the song is a little on the nose, but I still deeply enjoy it. I sadly cut out one of the panels/lyrics to make the comic transition a little more smoothly, but it's better this way.
#gravity falls#stanford pines#(mentioned)#stanley pines#grunkle stan#grunkle ford#mullet stan#and their bum of a dad i guess.#my art#tw sui ideation#tw sui implied#im sorry if any of the kanji is wrong#stangst#stan twins#mini comic#this is also my first time writing image desc#let me know if i need to change anything
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“I promise the brainworms are gone! I am a normal person just like all of you!”
*trips and all these drawings fall out of my coat pocket*
“….. These aren’t mine—“




I’m not even sorry at this point the brainworms have overtaken my brain and basically made me a walking corpse. I loved everyone’s OC’s interacting with Skylar-Chilli’s (he deserves so much love) and the brainworms are like “he has a friend group now” AND HERE WE ARE
Do I know the name of the group??? NOPE BUT THEY’RE NOT GONNA LEAVE FOR A BIT SO I APOLOGIZE SO MUCH IN ADVANCE
The brainworms are not dying down so I’ll still draw some things with my Maria and Skylar-Chilli but I also wanna draw these guys some more cause why not
I apologize for not fully coloring the rest I got severely lazy
Lume and King (snake) belong to @sonic-syndrome
Maria (former Glup) belongs to @deszczowedni
Skylar-Chilli belongs to the one and only @cyucya
And Maria (gonna call her Mar for my sanity in these) is by me :D
Sonic masterpost
References I used:




#I PROMISE I’M NORMAL#oh who am I kidding#I’ve been tweaking out over them for almost 24 hrs now#idk if this is healthy#uh anyways I love these OCs#man their so cool and so cute!!#All just lil weirdos hehehehe#I apologize so much for dealing with my insanity#sonic franchise#sonadow#sonadow kid#sonic oc#friend group#oc crossover#oc fanart#rip#sonic fanart#I also apologize if I got anything wrong I DID TRY MY BEST let me know if I do tho plz#sonadow fam au#powerless sonadow kid au
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Still feel like always returning after 2 years? /pos
I'd love to see more of your art if you're still doing it, I love looking at your older art hope you have a great day✨️✨️
Haha yeah, I'm still around! Has it really been two years since I last posted?? Good lord. Here's something summery that I finished up as a thanks for sticking with me :) I hope YOU have a great day! ✨️✨️✨️
youtube
bonus image of how many times i had to export to make sure my timing was right lmao
#thanks for taking the time to say hi anon :) your message was a really nice surprise! I'm still kicking; just not doing art as much any more#it turns out getting a job with odd hours really saps your energy/motivation to do anything when you get home aside from eat dinner :|#& I haven't really been making anything worth posting of late (stopped improving when i stopped drawing; go figure) hence the lack of posts#I'm assuming if youre looking at my blog still youre here for akeshu lol... so heres something old that I thought would be easy to clean up#and i was WRONG this took AGES#fun ages! but agessssssssssss. forgot how much drawing animating actually entails LMAO but it was nice to get back into it :>#also heads up for anyone who doesn't know about color preview in csp: set it to sRGB for the love of god#learned the hard way that having your preview set to 'display' does not accurately tell u what it will look like exported >:|#everything was muted as hell and i had to play w the saturation to fix it because i was NOT manually recoloring every frame. nopeeeeee#hopefully it's not too eye-searing as a result. let me know lmao#anywayyyyyyy YES i am still projecting my habits on my favs-- melona bars are real and they are in fact square and they are delicious!!!!!#i have been eating them lately bc i got a big box at costco. the honeydew and mango are my favs & theyre great for the heat rn#anywhozles! thank u again for reaching out anon! it was very sweet and it really made my day to hear that you still like my old stuff :)#p5#akeshu#worlds most generic-looking akeshu admittedly. but its intended to be them lmao
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six clangen characters meme except i did 7 and ALMOST did another one but i ran out of steam hahaha so hopefully a doodle of my fursona in the empty space suffices.
left to right, up to down, we've got:
dr. frecklesmoke from @uss-echo-clangen
blizzardfawn from @direclan
zinniaspirit from @sapling-clangen
moorsnow from @splinterclan
iciclepaw from @a-song-upon-the-waves-wishclan
ospreystorm from @the-tale-of-stingrayclan
shadowdive from @salt-clangen
thank you to everyone who made suggestions!! i had so much fun drawing these characters!
#clangen#warrior cats#clan generator#clangen art#warrior cats art#sorry if i got anything wrong!#i'm realizing ospreystorm might not be quite right because i chose an older page as a reference and i apologize if that is the case#sometimes i have trouble keeping characters straight if they're not labeled regardless of how many times i go back and read it again#so i had to find references where the characters were called by name to be sure i had the right one#if it's egregious feel free to let me know + send me the right reference & ill edit it when i can#also thank you to the folks who included references!! very helpful!!#if anybody wants the singlet pngs also feel free ot let me know and ill send you a png of just your character :)
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girlbossing too close to the sun.
#art#ive literally just been treating this game as a library simuator#i walk from bookseller to bookseller opening up all of their books#vivecs sermons are either a highlight or the point at which i stop reading#ive been trying to convince the ordinators that imitation is the highest form of flattery but it hasnt been working#let me wear your helmets please theyre so funny..#posting morrowind in 2024 isnt a cry for help but youre not wrong to be concerned.#morrowind#almalexia#vivec#im going to explain the chitin armor give me a moment#so the bonewalker nerevar on the shrines is adorable and it was only after drawing it however many times that i realized#it looked relatively close to a modified chitin armor#and so i modified chitin armor a few times and this was probably the cutest result#i also know i drew almalexia relatively pristine and untouched by years and vivec not so much but my thought process was#vivecs role as if not a favorite then the most accessible divine or the most “hands on” in a manner of speaking#acting in ways visible to the general population or actions explicitly brought to their attention#like not that almalexia isnt doing anything she is#but the dissemination of information regarding that is very different etc etc etc#anyways to a certain extent a god is the face on a shrine or in art or upon a statue or carving#but vivecs presence is interwoven with the geography of vvardenfell especially and his actions and writings with pubished materials#and the arts and culture and customs etc etc etc#so to me the face of a god you know and feel a commonality with or a god that walks alongside you is a face you would recognize#and vivec is already otherworldly looking enough#the simple mark of the years on his skin in some way grounding him in reality felt more right#that and i think the ways in which he and almalexia care about outward appearance are slightly different- they prioritize different things#and the ways they present outward power and their embodiment of their respective attributes share some similarities as they both have that#important preoccupation with physical power and physical strength to a certain degree#oh my god nobody read this i am yapping so bad.#tes
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spent way too long on butch-femme twitter and am now heading to sleep at 5AM with a pit in my tummy about potentially never finding the right person one day </3
#idc if anyone is sick of my rants LET WOMEN BE!!#might listen to ethel crain and contemplate a little#I do really wanna experience what it'd be like to date someone who is in closer proximity to me since my last relationship was long distanc#but sometimes I wonder if searching for someone in my surrounding area is limiting and gonna make it harder to find someone#+ I'm compatible with#plus I can't tell if my expectations are too specific/unrealistic and will hinder my chance or if they're reasonable#bc there's one couple I found today and ngl I did deep dive into their tweets bc they're so damn cute but it did make me lonely af LOL#and they're long distance too so it had me worrying if I was doing something wrong in my own ldr and it contributed to things ending#but seeing them also realized more specific expectations and desires I have no in regards to how I'm shown affection + sense of humor#I just don't know if I'm being too picky though and if my expectations will mess w my chances#not that I'm ready for anything rn but in the future#I just want someone who I'm mutually obsessed with and who I'm insane about and who's insane about me#(in a cute way. like we wanna bite each other 24/7 and are in a constant state of being immensely enamoured)#s.text
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I want. Four to get appreciation. Because
Four gave a ton of unnoticed help when Twilight was injured
The fight with Wild was difficult, and I know we're all concerned about his negative view of the shadow crystal
But Four did something that no one else really thought of to help- He took care of Twi's stuff
From the beginning he told Twilight to not worry about them

So Four took care of pretty much everything but the others (that Sky and Wars handled)
He took care of Epona

Which is so very important- he took care of Twilight's horse. After her arrival at the stable Four followed up on her
And for Epona, a horse so attached to her human, having some company can help so much for reassurance
He took care of Twilight's stuff

He got Twi's shield- his bags and equipment, and organized it into one place
And he was worried. He obviously found the shadow crystal while handling Twi's stuff, but his negative reactions to it were out of concern.

Also- because of his placement in this scene


I'm fairly convinced Four was ready to start cooking before Wild showed up (since he's beside the counter with food supplies). At the very least he had the basket of fruit out for everyone -but he was literally standing with food behind him- he thought of everything
And he did housekeeping!
Wars payed for the inn, so Four took care of the inn

Realistically these boys were probably not too concerned with tidyness. Four got all of Twi's things on one table, and took care of the room they stayed in

Organizing tables and Twi's things, having food supplies ready, and opening the curtains- overall he was the one tidying up the inn
Four helped in a huge way! He took care of Twi's horse (Epona is so important), his equipment and shield and bag, as well as the other rooms in the inn
Four filled in all the little tasks that others didn't think of. He helped in ways that were needed, but not obvious
There's a lot of problems with the shadow crystal and with Wild, and I don't know what's gonna happen in the future
But don't forget this- don't forget that Four was one who stepped up in an almost unnoticeable way
Don't forget that when everyone was barely holding it together, Four visited Twilight's horse and took care of his things
No matter what develops in the future- this amount of care shown is important ya know?
.
Art and comic from Jojo @linkeduniverse au :)))
#epona is so important#Lu four#linkeduniverse#linked universe#I work with horses and#Epona is INCREDIBLE- she's extremely attuned to humans and emotions. she doesn't scare easily and can keep her cool in a fight#but it's still super stressful to suddenly be in a fairly large and populated town- separated from her person#and for such an empathetic horse? Four going and TALKING to her- gently petting her nose and just being near her#means so so much! that literally matters so much to a horses mental state in a foreign situation- just having company#he checked on Epona and gave her company like !!!!!! it's so considerate and means so much for Epona! Four I love you !!!!!#uhhhh yeah!#with the food- I don't think the innkeeper would have free/complimentary food out- but wars wallet def had it covered#then wild showed up with potions in a cooking frenzy- but four was still shown with food behind him- he thought of everything#I don't know what's gonna happen with the shadow crystal and stuff. but no matter what happens in the future- this matters.#he did a ton of small things no one else thought of it matters he cares so much didjdkdksjfjj#I have a lot of posts I'm making/editing and trying to get to. I'm just a little gal trying my best :/#so many ideas and so little time... I love you guys and this fandom so much :))#(if I said anything off or offensive let me know... I'm always nervous about that but I want to hear from you if I'm wrong)#(also you are so so cool and valuable don't forget that ok? I love you and you are important)#:)
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my limbus bugs mainly based on characters that may or may not show up later... and one mystery feature for your guessing fun:]
#heads up for uhhhhh really long tags#had half a mind to do a style study/imitation but gave up like. one layer in#i guess i should tag these a bit differently on the chance that they show up later in canon. ill put 'lcb' before their names#as opposed to '[character] lcb' that i use for canon characters#with this ill go back and tag for montag as well#digital stuff#colored sketch#limbus ocs#lcb avdotya#look upon my rodion clone. my beautiful son#they hired the worst photographer (me. colors are scary) in the city for their wedding no wonder that thing's cursed#that wedding dress photo was supposed to be an id photo mockup too but i just kinda gave up. started over with the next one#eyeballed the height measurements sorry if they look off...#lcb dmitri#her. well. you will hear more about her. this is a threat (joke)#lcb knauer#cheetos-flavored sinclair..#trivia: my friend's impression of knauer was “i mean this in the nicest way possible but he looks like a femcel”#personally i think hes cute#lcb beck#clair's college ex. what else is there.#these are mostly so that i can mess around and come up with some designs for funsies.. i havent given much thought to their stories#and in any case most of them are side characters so that'd be a bit difficult#that said. even for the one who's the protag in her source i havent really written anything either... oops#she's good contrast with sinclair the way she's both taller than meursault and also the worst brawler youve ever met#if anyone guesses her source i'll edit this post with a tag:D#well that was fun! i'll probably do another handful of sketches and then never draw these guys again#disclaimer: i got the german off google translate so if there're any glaring mistakes please let me know#i dont know russian either but i got the subtitles from their names so it should be ok.. avdotya's is just rodion's also.#let me know if i got anything wrong still. thank you
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Ticci Toby general dating headcanons
I like to think that his only actual relationship experience was with clockwork and they were together for at least a few years in my head, so jumping into a new relationship would be a little slow going at first.
Once he’s settled in and actually loves you though? He’s not going anywhere.
Absolutely touching you a LOT. Snugglebug through and through. He is the type of guy to act like you hit him when all you did was... roll over while you were asleep.
On top of that, he would tolerate you doing a lot of stuff with him (as in playing with his fingers, playful biting, messing with his feet, totally not projecting my goofy ass zoomies behavior lmao) and kinda likes to just watch you do that stuff.
His love languages are physical touch and quality time. He'll sit and watch whatever you want or watch you play games.
To bounce off of that, he sucks at video games. Yeah, he can play with BEN sometimes, but he just can NOT game to save his life. He enjoys watching you play.
He gets investing in whatever reality show you're watching. He won't even deny it and if you don't say anything about watching it he will bring it up.
As he's gotten older and lived under Slenderman's thumb longer, he's become a lot more guarded. It takes a bit, but he actually is a goofy and sweet guy when he cares about you. His sense of humor is dark and you gotta have one too, but it's actual dark humor, not just super edgy.
If you're worried about how he's surviving with CIPA, don't worry. His mom made sure he could take care of himself, even if he doesn't remember her anymore, (I headcanon that Connie was a Boy Mom, but all of my ideas for what his childhood was like are for another post if anyone asks for it.) and he's very good at checking himself for injuries and keeping track of the weather with apps and asking others about it. Seriously, the weather app is his best friend. Also being a proxy does have certain physical benefits, such as heightened immune system, strength speed, and durability. It varies depending on the proxy, but Toby isn't a chump. He can handle a little heat and a little cold (less heat though, as I believe he just has a higher body temp than average and needs to account for it).
Ya'll's relationship isn't all sunshine and rainbows though, as he does have a lot of issues and he knows he's a lot to take on as a partner.
I personally headcanon him as having BPD and being misdiagnosed as bipolar, so I'm basing some of my points around it on that.
Arguments can be... intense. He will never lay a hand on you, but yelling is a common thing in heated arguments.
It'll take someone with a lot of patience and a strong backbone to help him work towards more healthy ways of resolving conflict. He'll also need reassurance that you do still love him and that you aren't going anywhere.
His schizophrenia isn't as big of a hurdle as you may think. Slenderman has his brain wired to be aware that he's hallucinating, but it won't actually get rid of them. He's gotten used to a lot of them, but he does have a few that still genuinely distress him (the most common examples being visual & auditory hallucinations of his dead sister or auditory hallucinations of his mother's voice) and that put him on edge.
How you two met can also change how slow or fast the relationship goes. If you’re a proxy too, then 1) he’s known you for a while and 2) you’re both probably already familiar with each other and get along well. If you’re not a proxy, then he does have his guard up a lot more and it’ll take a while for those walls to come down fully. Plus, he’s gotta figure out a way to break it to you that his boss is actually a supernatural entity that forces him to kill people.
If you’re both proxies
Like I said before, you both already get along well, so it really was just a matter of you or him figuring out if you want to see where this leads and asking the other out. While being a proxy speeds things up a little, it isn't by a whole lot.
I’m gonna say that the Slendermansion does exist, but it’s not exactly a fun place. Yeah, you get food and housing there, but you also have to deal with everyone else, and the majority of them aren't exactly the nicest to each other. More like coworkers in a toxic work environment forced to live together than anything else.
Toby moved out of the mansion in his mid-20s because he was having daily problems with some of the other proxies (Jeff mainly because that man definitely pokes fun at Toby and it gets on his nerves). He has a little cabin that is still within the confines of Slender’s forest, just further out than the mansion is.
Often invites you back to his cabin to hang out after missions or just whenever you see each other.
He has better service and, by the magic of "Slenderman is a supernatural entity", has electricity. He definitely has a TV he may or may not have stolen that you guys watch stuff on. It’s usually DVDs, but sometimes he catches a show or two and you guys watch that.
Since you’re a proxy, he’s not as concerned about you getting hurt during missions. Slenderman does often keep you two on separate missions and with different proxies to keep you both focused, but other than that it doesn't really care that you two are together.
All in all, you're really each other's escapes from everyone else. Something to look forward to and melt into at the end of a hard day.
If you are not a proxy
Honestly, he either met you while making a supply run and kept bumping into you, or you were somehow involved with a target.
I think supply run would be the most likely scenario, as he is a creature of habit and frequents the same places if he can. (Fun fact: I've been slowly writing a fic where he meets someone on Tinder because he's lonely and he accidentally starts caring)
You'd have to make the first move, and even then he probably doesn't think you actually like him unless you spell it out right in his face.
Super awkward at first, but I think his date being super passionate about something would make him more comfortable. Doesn't have to be true crime or anything gory (really, true crime would probably have him sweating if he could sweat), but having that genuine emotion shared just helps him settle in and actually talk more.
Absolutely believes you're the best person in the world to ask about your interest. If one of the other proxies has a question about it, he just says "gimme a sec" and calls you for the answer.
He doesn't really have any hobbies of his own, so you sharing yours is sweet to him, even if he may never pick the hobby up.
When you ask about his work, he says that he just works on a private property doing whatever his boss needs him too. Once the relationship starts getting serious he'll start to think about how to explain to you how complicated his situation is, but for the moment he's content to just be with you.
You become his escape from the cruel and dark world he has lived in since he was 17, but you will never truly know just how grateful he is that you took a chance to be with him and he never wants you to leave him.
#ticci toby#toby rogers#tobias erin rogers#ticci toby x reader#creepypasta#headcanons#I started writing this in the middle of work lmao#my first actual x reader thing I've ever posted! :D#let me know if anything mental health wise that I touched on was wrong#I've been trying to research a lot for Toby specifically because of my fanfic I'm writing#it also kinda led to me having my own ideas for the Slenderverse#I wanted to add more#but this post is already so long and I don't wanna make this so long that no one wants to read it
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some OCS I brain stormed earlier this month
#art#oc#ocs#Ideally. i should have posted this at the time. but whatever. i wasnt sure#i havent drawn or touched on the idea since xd will get back to it eventually. hopefully#let me know if anything in the written ideas is off or wrong at all. it isnt too well researched#stephen marie reyes#rina gu#also sorry#krisdeltarunisms in there. i should change stephs design to be a bit more unique ngl
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so about those tiers…
#i developed a parasocial relationship with locke and MIB somebody help me#i love ben but in a way a scientist loves a butterfly they pin to a board#was amazed to learn people hate MIB#like he is literally my baby boy who didnt do ANYTHING WRONG!!! is wanting freedom bad????#also if anyone out there ships jacob and mib… let me know… we can talk about it#lost#lost abc#lost 2004#john locke#ben linus#sayid jarrah#jack shepherd#tier lists#my Opinion
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please please please please please please please let me tell you about this comic I want to make it so bad please I can not wait I am losing it
If I don't make the comic then I'm not going to make it... I need other people to see what is in my brain so I'm not the only one going feral over them
#IM NOT GONNA GET TO MAKE IT FOR LIKE A YEAR...#well.#hmmm...#9 months#BUT it won't launch for like a year#so no one will get to SEEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!1#I'm shooting for pride month next year#pri(demon)th#LMAO#please pleae spleaple pla psl eaplse plaese#also when I say I want to talk about them I dont mean like let me ramble I mean... its hard to explain#but I want to be able to be like omg this meme is soooo zagan#and stuff like that#like I want them to Exist for me and for other people#so that they can be like a part of our lives#I mean. I also want to talk about it#but the story is still technically at that point where anything I make right now is still possible to change#cause. like. yknow.#the way writing works#especially for webcomics#ESPECIALLY for long form webcomics#and ESPECIALLY for me#is that until I get to actually see it as thumbnails#I dont know wtf is actually gonna happen.#like. stuff I've had planned for YEARS isn't making it in the furhter I'm getting into development#and I had always had it in my mind as a canon event but it's just sorta not anymore??#so. yeah I dont want to share too much outside of just art of them#cause I don't want there to be like Wrong information out there....#anyways.#we were legion
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I'm so mad actually I can't believe some people took this scene in chapter 3 and turned it into a who's right about their grief when the scene in chapter 4 literally has ivypool saying I don't mean to make it all about me- haven't thought much about how dovewing is handling her own grief- people read chapter 3 and to me it seems as if chapter 4 doesn't even exist and the rest of what ivypool says in chapter three after saying this doesn't as well
“Dovewing, I’m truly sorry that Rowankit died. But losing a sickly kit—a kit you’ll be reunited with in StarClan one day—is different from losing a full-grown cat who was just coming into her own as a warrior. A cat who doesn’t exist anywhere—who is just gone.”
ignored this and what was said and called it a day
#im so done i cant take it anymore how can you read something like this and view it like that wheres the nuance ivypool right what??? this-#scene is literally ivypool speaking on their grief and their mind ivypool literally says i dont mean to make this all about me-#ive done so little to make sure dovewing is okay she also lost a kit ivypool realized that dovewing understood her fears mean nothing to yo#hello its right there read it ivypool says one shitty thing in chapter three then goes back on it no one cares like okay what the hell sure#dovewing shouldve been mad here wrong dovewing was being understanding throughout the whole convo dammmmmmm she knows ivypool is letting-#their grief eat away at them one of the few scene where these two actually get talk anything out in oots those two barely talked and kept-#secrets away from one another so why would dove start snapping back please be so for real!! i know these two had a scene in the updated-#ultimate guide talked it out for once and left closer than they ever been thats again what is need here dovewing should have been angry-#here andddd what was that going to doing here actually nothing at all#like damm read the rest of the chapters too becuz the whole icewing part skipped over just for more dumbass discourse over whether ivypool-#was right or wrong or dovewing should be angry here thats not even what the third/fouth chapter is about i need to stop writing#no no i cant believe it is that your only takeaway man like come on chapter three then chapter four ivy obviously again feels more regret-#well ivy shouldnt have said that buddy of course ivy is going to open up about it for one they dont believe dovewing can relate them fully-#and dove asked so youre saying because she asked ivy ivy shouldve compared their child death to doves were going to in circles#ivypools heart#ivypool#dovewing#icewing#probably shouldnt tag miss icey but she is here too so whatver guess she stays
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Considering that today is the egg anniversary, I'll show u clip #2 of my little animatic compilation I'm putting together.
Anyways, happy 1 year to this lovely family :)
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como que hoy es anniversario de los huevos, yo quedo enseñar clip #2 de me animacion que yo estoy haciendo
Como queda, feliz 1 año de éste familia genial :)
#qsmp#qsmp fanart#qsmp missa#missasinfonia#qsmp chayanne#qsmp tallulah#qsmp death family#I saw people suffering from the missa drought so I came to feed yall#this will last yall like 2 months#hopefully#stay strong soldiers#que te valle bien#im also trying to speak more Spanish for the missaurios#im trying my best#let me know if I did anything wrong :)
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game dev is such an alluring thing to try to do bc its a kind of media that allows for such an active and direct way to interact with others like most things just dont
im still dreaming of trying it every now and again but, among my other problems, i run into the more unique problem of .. not knowing or not wanting to start bc i cant find tutorials that teach me about how i structure code, where do i begin, where does a script go, what makes sense to seperate into its own piece of code and what should stay together, what do i do first?? i have found ones that teach you about single things but never really how to structure it all, how it should look like as a whole, and idk what mental wall i run into but i need to know before i can even try!! its the not knowing where to start that keeps blocking me bc i dont want to make a mess, i am very chaotic and code is something hard to get right and hard to untangle so i dont want to just .. do stuff that wont work
#ganondoodles talks#personal#also if anything id want to use godot since that is an open source engine but its even harder to find anything there#maybe im not lookign at the right things#................ if could write well i could at least write some things while i cant draw#but i cant seem to be able to do anything but waste away and its infuriating#my writings gotten just as bad and messy as my art and im just#so fucking sick of it all#cant i just work for once- cant i just be functional for ONCE cant i just FUCKING enjoy doing things again for ONCE in months#im promising you im trying so hard to let go of all pressure but it just wont work regardless#i just keep doing very wrong looking shitty sketches of a vague horse shape and even that is like BOOM battery out goodnight#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#when i do pixel art i start to think about coding and how to make thigns work and what is even possible to make at all#then wondering if any effort put inot it is even worth it if its not doable for me or at all#when i listen to toby foxs music i want to try it so bad too but im a noob at everything#if i cant put in the effort to DRAW -somethign i have been doing sicne being able to hold a pencil- then how can i learn literally anything#i know brains need new stuff and need to learn new things but i am so incapable of even trying even though i want to#its that god dman clash of two sides- unlimited passion and need and want and an absolute blockage of fearing to waste time#i probably suck at everything i want to try but how will i know if i dont try it seriously at least a few times im hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrr
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