#also just. exorsexist and intersexist

[transmaverique]

amab and afab, if they were used as shorthand for the actual full phrases that they signify, with emphasis on the "assigned" part, and an understanding that they are enforcements of normative (ie, dyadic and cisgender and binary) sex, would be like. really useful. but people took the terms and started using them as shorthand FOR normative sex instead of the ENFORCEMENT OF normative sex. so when other trans people (almost always dyadic trans people) ask for your agab they are almost always asking for your Original Genital Situation. your starting point, so to say. and the reason FOR asking is also almost always bc they are trying to also enforce a certain kind of normativity within queer spaces (which is stupid bc being queer is inherently non-normative but here we are). like, you cant be a lesbian if you're ftm, bc you ARE m, so if you ARE a lesbian, then that means you're lying about some aspect of your identity. does that make sense?

it is always always always incredibly.... i do not trust dyadic trans people that use cagab terms, even moreso than i do not trust dyadic trans people that just use agab terms. agab is also coopted intersex language, but the "coercive" part of cagab SPECIFICALLY refers to medical "intervention" of intersex characteristics, such as "corrective" surgeries and hrt. i am deeply fucking suspicious of any dyadic trans person that uses those terms exactly the same as described above, even moreso if they do so bc "all gender is coercive".

like. yeah. that's true. but you use these terms to erase and overtake intersex discussions on the medical abuse of intersex infants. and i cant help but wonder why you would feel the need to do that.

[genderqueerdykes]

Okay, so I've been a lesbian for a while and don't know some of the terminology, and I'm kinda confused on how men can be lesbians (specifically cis men). Mostly cause I've never heard anyone talk about it before, adding a long I also have a question. So could I still identify as a lesbian if I find myself attracted to men or masc presenting people? I've seen people say you can't so yea! (Sorry if this doesn't make sense or if I came off as rude)

hello there!

the argument that lesbians can't be men is transphobic, intersexist, gender essentialist, exorsexist and a lot of other very exhausting and historically inaccurate ways. it has nothing to do with real lesbianism but rather rad fems and political lesbians online trying to turn the lesbian community into a "girls only" club where they can shit on men and be transphobic and toxic

people love to jump to the assumption that i'm taking about cis men first and foremost, which i'm not- although i genuinely don't care if a cis man identifies as a lesbian i'm not a cop and you shouldn't be, either. we all need to collectively kill the cops in our minds. no, this will not create an influx of "cishet men invading lesbian spaces." cishet men can literally already choose to identify as lesbians if they want to and they literally do not. most cishet men are lesbophobic and disgusted by irl lesbians and only find lesbianism attractive in porn. if cishet men wanted to lesbians, they already would be. also again, i'm not a cop, so it's not my business if a cis man does identify for any reason as a lesbian. if that concept makes one uncomfortable, they can choose to ignore that person.

this is not the conversation we're having, so it's best to realize that there's a far deeper issue here.

the people who tell you lesbians can't be men are specifically targeting butch lesbians, transmascs, ftm, trans men, trans male, bigender, multigender, genderfluid, genderqueer, and genderfuck lesbians. lesboys, boydykes, lesbians who are non binary, lesbians who don't have a gender, lesbians who are men only, lesbians who are two spirit, butches who are men. these are all people who have been in the lesbian community all along, and this is who is being targeted. anyone who tells you a lesbian cannot be a man is either a rad fem or someone who has been indoctrinated by one, or someone who is very confused and ill informed at best

butchphobia is heavily linked to this behavior. many butch lesbians are women and women only and that's a legitimate expression of butchhood, but MANY and i mean many butches throughout history have been transmascs and trans men, or have been men in other capacities, such as trans women who are also men, and other multigender people.

bigender people exist in every identity. id on't know why people conveniently love to just forget about this when it comes to the argument of lesbian men. it's not just you, i get this sentiment all the time. we need to realize that multigender people exist. we need to collectively accept that genderfluid and genderqueer and genderfuck people exist and they can be lesbians, too. many butch lesbians are literally men and it's not right to kick them out of the community. please remember that the "lesbians can only be women and only if they're cis and not Too Butch" mindset directly stems from lesbian separatism and political lesbianism. i'd suggest researching those topics, they were at their peak in the 1980s and 90's in the United States and caused a lot of damage that we're still seeing the ripples from

lesbians shouldn't have to get some kind of extra or approval to be men. i really just don't get this mindset. you have to ask yourself why this even matters to begin with. it doesn't. it's not harming anyone else for a lesbian to be a man. if you're not attracted to them you don't have to be. if you are attracted to them, it doesn't invalidate your lesbianism. bigender, multigender, non binary, genderfluid, genderfuck, gnc, intersex, trans, and other gender variant people shouldn't be banned from the lesbian community for no reason.

also i keep begging people to do so but please research the life and identity of Leslie Feinberg. zie was a polygender butch lesbian who did identify as a man. i repeat this phrase a lot but if you don't know who zie is, your knowledge of lesbian history of very limited. lesie was a very prolific activist for lesbian and trans rights, as well as many other important issues. leslie wasn't some random tumblruser or what have you, there are people who have existed well outside of the bounds of this website who have identified as lesbian men. this phenomenon is not new, it's not relegated to the internet, and it's not something that people should have never heard of before.

i suggest researching lesbian history outside of tumblr. i'm one of the few who isn't, but most of the popular bloggers in the lesbian community on here is proudly transphobic as fuck. when they say "I'M A LESBIAN, MEN DNI!!!!!!" they are PROUDLY showing their transphobia. a lesbian who is bigender, multigender, non binary, transmasc, genderfluid, and so on is trans. this is transphobia. this is lesbophobia. lesbians can be men whether or not it makes an individual comfortable. there are also trans women who are... also men. we can't keep allowing this to be a "threat". we are killing our own when we do this

i'm glad you took the time to ask. i get heated on this issue, so this is a rather passionate response because i'm just outright sick of people acting like the idea of a lesbian identifying a man is somehow unheard of. lesbians are well known for being some of the most genderfucked people in the queer community. we struggle with gender our entire lives due to the expectations and stressors placed on our shoulders, as well as who we are on the inside. it will never unheard of for lesbians to be genderqueer.

i hope this helps somewhat. if you have any more questions feel free to ask. i will continue talking about this until people understand that lesbian men are not a threat to anyone. manhood belongs in lesbianism whether or not that makes you or anyone else uncomfortable. it's an experience that will continue to happen no matter what people have to say in conjecture and theory- lesbian men will continue to show up to lesbian and other pride meetings. we will continue to talk and write about our experiences. and the world will keep turning as a result. the sun will rise again. and no one was hurt simply by the existence of some lesbians being men.

[this-is-exorsexism]

I just saw a post about how transmasc and transfem aren't labels you can "opt out of," how if you transition like this then you ARE transmasc and if you transition like that then you ARE transfem, whether you like it or not. Because it's just a "fact" about your transition, not an identity.

And it just made me so sad. I'm transneutral. Sure, my transition might look binary to an outside observer. Yeah, people might look at me now and see me as far more masculine than I was before I transitioned. But that's other people. Not me.

Does this count as exorsexism? I feel like it does but I'm also worried that they're right, and maybe my identity is offensive and maybe I AM lying for not calling myself transmasc. I don't know. I just feel really bad and insecure right now.

this is exorsexism.

through and through.

i'm assuming this post was by a trans person, because cis people tend to be less educated about trans terminology in the first place, and will often just parrot whatever is popular but not think of it any further.

a lot of trans people, even some nonbinary people, seem to be really invested in upholding the gender binary in its various forms. "these are the two options you have, and you cannot be neither" is just gender binary 2.0.

people want to group especially nonbinary people by our AGAB, because a lot of people can't handle the fact that us simply saying "i'm nonbinary" doesn't give them any information about our AGAB, about "where we came from" the way that "trans woman" or "trans man" does. never mind the fact that some intersex people who were (c)afab are trans women and some intersex people who were (c)amab are trans men, but these people usually aren't just exorsexist, they're intersexist too. if the term "trans woman" doesn't necessarily tell you what gender someone was assigned at birth anymore, apparently the term loses all its meaning, since everything hinges on AGAB... somehow. but i digress.

and people have definitely started using transmasculine and transfeminine as "acceptable" shorthands for AGAB language, whether they admit it or not. if you were afab, your only options are cis woman, trans man or transmasculine nonbinary, and if you're transmasculine nonbinary we treat you like a man anyway, and vice versa for amab folk.

bonus points if it all hinges on transition steps, i.e. if you were amab and take oestrogen, you're automatically transfem regardless of how you identify (and if you don't take enough transition steps you're basically cis anyway - their line of thinking, not mine).

because we're definitely dismantling cissexism by still acting as if hormones are inherently masculine or feminine. we're definitely deconstructing the gender binary by just changing the words from male and female to transmasc and transfem. (heavy sarcasm)

so much of it goes back to people really just upholding cissexism and the binary, probably without even realising it. by saying it's about "what we were born as" or about how we transition, people are just using the same violence on nonbinary people as cis people use on all trans people. just because cis people assume you're masculine, trans people somehow think it's what you want and do it as well.

transmasc and transfem nonbinary people obviously exist. it's part of many people's identity. others actually do just use the term as a shorthand to what they're transitioning from, where they're transitioning to, how they're transitioning, certain experiences of transmisia, etc. and that's fine - if you use it like that for yourself and don't force it onto others.

and people also love framing words that have a heavy nonbinary association as somehow offensive, dirty or otherwise bad. people will go so far to avoid saying the word "nonbinary", they hate the word "enby", in fact, they hate when we have any term that is more specific than nonbinary, and they also hate our trans- terms, be it transneutral, transandrogynous or the many others. they really hate when we're actually somewhat equal.

[velvetvexations]

(had a point and then it fractal-ed into several points, sorry)

honestly, as a trans person, I hate the acronym TERF bc like. all radical feminism is trans-exclusionary bc it’s basic framework is bio/gender-essentialist and inherently binary and therefore transphobic&exorsexist&intersexist and subsequently exclusionary to every marginalized gender and sex. but bc of tacking on the “TE” part to the radical feminism, we get a lot of people unquestioningly parroting off basic radfem beliefs with a fresh coat of progressive terminology bc they haven’t broken down how the base theory is functionally ineffective and ideologically fixated on self-victimization and inaccurate hierarchies of oppression. (and this is all without even looking at the racism, colorism, ableism, classism, etc. within radfem theory.) and it also leads to major misunderstandings of intersectionality and how oppression and discrimination actually function (and also the conflation of those two concepts). speaking from personal, irl experience with a person who viewed minority status as “stackable”, it feels like a lot of these people who are so fixated on the tma/tme dichotomy and against talking about anti-transmasculinity/transandrophobia, think that if trans men/mascs and nonbinary people (of all asab) have a way to talk about the specific things that they face, then that’s a way for them to “unfairly” “earn more oppression points” which challenges their radfem-based view that one specific minority (sometimes their own, sometimes not) is “the most oppressed” (and therefore not culpable for any bigotry they express/perform since it’s all “punching up”)

(hope this made some sense, sorry if it didn’t <3)

yes, it's all just radical feminism, and it's even more self-destructive because ultimately radical feminist logic will always lead to the conclusion that trans women aren't women and are a danger to AFAB people

[ventbloglite]

"But how can you defend an AFAB calling herself a trans woman or trans fem?" Can you like not be exorsexist or intersexist for like two hot seconds and also remember that some people detransition and also remember that some people just have complex genders and maybe just maybe might consider themselves trans feminine because of that?

Also nobody 'owns' those words dumbass they describe a certain experience not necessarily the person stop putting people in boxes they know what their experience is. I've literally never seen someone who wasn't straight up genderqueer or intersex or both call themselves transfeminine despite being born AFAB. No cis woman is calling herself trans feminine just for existing as a woman. AFAB does not equal 'cis' just as much as it doesn't equal 'woman'. Y'all need to remember what the 'assigned' part is supposed to mean.

[cedarnommer]

I think people throwing in blanket terms like "trans community" like it's a universal thing and we all live in the same country and follow the exact same ideas actually pisses me off. It's a red flag when TERFs and other transphobes do it. And when so called allies or other trans people do it, you are also a red flag and part of the problem. Did you know that I'm from Eastern Europe? Did you know that my language doesn't even have most of the words needed to express the complexities of gender and sexual identities and we have to borrow words from English? Did you know that how we do gender presentation is unique from person to person? And that these same rules apply TO OTHER GEOGRAPHIC LOCATIONS?

We are not responsible as a demographic for what this or that trans person did. We have problematic trans people that are racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, transmedicalist, exorsexist and intersexist. But do you know when acknowledging these things will be good? When these things AREN'T ASSOCIATED WITH MERELY BEING TRANS! Or do you think cis perisex folks somehow can't have people amongst them that are bigoted? The future I want is one where I can be trans and can dislike someone, not because they were trans, but because they chose to be a terrible person. Because being trans does not make a person bad! Just like it doesn't for all sorts of demographic groups. But if we're too busy using the rhetoric of those that want to reinforce strict and abusive hierarchies, guess what? We'll never be accepted! To all the TERFs, transphobes and self-hating trans people, go away with that universal "trans community" crap. Allow people to be wrong without blaming all trans people for it!

[boy-gender]

something i wanna mention re: your post about the bots stealing photos, it’s important to note that many of these come from transphobic, exorsexist, and intersexist targeted data breaches and are sourced/scraped from malicious sites/boards like the k-farms.

i’m ace and sex-oscillating (sometimes i’m fine with seeing sexual things sometimes i’m not) and even when i’m at my most sex-repulsed i want everyone to know that the sex workers in the tag are some of our most vulnerable population members (no matter their gender(s) or exact identity/terms) because they’re being targeted by these sites.

idk sorry if this is reiterating your post but you’re the first person i’ve seen mention the importance of “these photos are stolen btw” instead of “oh yucky porn” like. y’all some of these are photos which were only intended for one or two people to see. these workers can now no longer regulate that OR how people interact with them.

they get so much harassment because of stolen photos when it’s been ripped out of their private accounts…. it’s awful

Thank you so much for adding that. I sometimes forget that not everyone is aware of how dangerous sex work, even purely online not in person sex work, is. I should have emphasized more that sex workers are not the danger; they're largely *in* danger.

And not just of being harassed, having their material stolen, or being targetted, but also by the death of internet privacy and net neutrality. Bills like fosta-sesta, and it's successor kosa- which is moving forward as we speak- are steadily erasing protections for anyone who creates nsfw content anywhere on the internet. It removes software and data tracking that allow sex workers to vet their johns before they interact with them, especially if they're going to meet up in person, and that data was one of the CHIEF ways human traffickers are found and arrested, and their victims tracked down.

KOSA isn't just a danger to fandom- though it is *also* a danger to fandom- but to very real people doing a job as old as time. Outlawing the expression of sexual materials is never going to stop sexual activity, it just forces it to be done in the dark, where sex workers, a large chunk of whom are queer, are at increased risk of being harmed, killed, or losing their ability to make a living.

One of the things I said in my post was that sexual materials belong on tumblr like they belong anywhere. Some people may point to the fact that that's no longer allowed under the terms of service- regardless of what tumblr "clarifies," they still ban it, especially from trans people. I was here before then. I was here when net neutrality still existed. And I am going to continue to operate under those attitudes until the end of days. I don't post sexually explicit materials myself, but I am never going to tattle on people who do, and people who do report those real users (not the bots) to staff disgust me.

If you're sex repulsed, I get it. I'm personally repulsed by the smell of pomegranate perfume. It's a trigger for me. But I am responsible for my feelings- it wouldn't be right to demand everyone everywhere stop wearing pomegranate perfume, and by going in public, I run the risk that I will bump into someone wearing it. I will have to remove myself from that situation.

And the same is true for if you don't like sexual content. You are responsible for what you do with those feelings. It's okay to have them; you can feel however you want about sex! But it's not okay to demand that other people cease harmlessly expressing themselves to conform to your feelings, and it's not okay to act like a fucking cop and purposely try to interfere with their job because you have the ick and don't approve.

Sex work is labor. Sex workers having ways to protect themselves and others is as close to "unionizing" as sex work gets. Stop interfering with what are basically their labor regulations. Block and move the fuck on!!

Do report the bots though. For SPAM. For STEALING MATERIALS. Not for the sex.

[pekkhum]

TME/TMA are already BS, because bigots actually don't care about your identity, so long as they can hate. Even if they were valid, they'd basically be shorthand for either trans inclusive bioessentialism, or the AMAB/AFAB bioessentialism, which are both just plain sexist/genderist bigotry, even if the sex or gender binaries were real. Given that neither sex nor gender is binary, they manage to be totally wrong, irrelevant, and pointless.

If you are asking someone's sex in any way, you are already being a bioessentialist bigot.

If you are doing it to police their "transness" or gender, you are being an anti-trans bigot (yes, even if trans).

If you insist sex is binary, or that any person must somehow be bucketed into "the nearest valid sex," you aren't just an intersexist bigot, you are also measurably and provably wrong.

If you think that a gender needs to be far enough from the sex before taking a person seriously, you are being an exorsexist bigot and a bioessentialist bigot.

If you need to know someone's sex in order to figure out how you feel about them, or whether they are worthy of you, somehow, that's just classic sexist bigotry.

If you think you deserve a detailed explanation of someone else's gender, you are wrong. The most they owe you is their pronouns, before they can be mad at you for not using them. Gender is an incredibly complicated personal experience that isn't always easy to put into words and can be exhausting when each person you meet demands that you make them understand. Worse, they may at any point choose to attack you for your explanation. Leave them be and respect their pronouns (yes, even it or xe or ze or... anything else).

It turns out that you can just be respectful to everyone, allowing them to share their struggles, just as you may share yours, and you avoid a number of forms of bigotry impacting several different communities! And that's before we get to the fact that people who say "trans people are not responsible for educating cis people" should also be educating themselves about intersex people and the many other communities surrounding them.

If you want a society of enlightened empathy and respect, do your part to make it.

i thought we all agreed that identity policing is wrong a long time ago, so why do so many people who consider themselves to be trans allies suddenly lose this energy for intersex people. intersex people do not owe it to you to explain their gender, condition or identity to you in any way, and they especially do not owe it to you to tell you if therye "AMAB" or "AFAB" and it is exceptionally strange to expect intersex people to neatly fall into TME and TMA categories when our bodies often do not meet societal expectations of gender and often face discrimination for not performing gender "correctly" in the exact same way trans people face

[caffeineandsociety]

Another thing about different gendered forms of transphobia is, if you're about to say "[xyz act of transmisogyny] NEVER happens to trans men or [presumed] AFAB NBs" or "[abc act of transandrophobia] NEVER happens to trans women or [presumed] AMAB NBs" or "[uvw act of exorsexism/binarism/intersexism] NEVER happens to binary perisex trans people"-

You are wrong. I guarantee you that you're wrong.

Gendered forms of transphobia and intersexism are gendered by PRIMARY target, not by EXCLUSIVE target. Whether because someone misreads your gender, or just because someone feels like using a certain framework, or whatever other reason, people can and DO, regularly, attack with whatever is convenient.

The bathroom predator stereotype was invented to attack trans women, but if a men's restroom is all urinals + one broken stall and there's a trans man who can't stand to pee, do you really think people are going to look at him in the women's room and go "go right ahead and use that toilet unbothered, fellow vulva-haver, you pass the vibe check, love your style, have a great night~!"? No! They're going to be just as shitty to him as they will be to any trans woman they clock! Hell, they'll be just as bad to butches regardless of ASAB, or even just to cis women with features they consider too sharp!

The tragic grooming victim force-transed by Big Pharma stereotype was invented to delegitimize trans men, but do you think the transphobic mother of a 9-year old trans girl isn't going to use it to wrestle her daughter back under her thumb and bar her from taking puberty blockers? Of course not! She's going to hop on that stereotype and ride it into the sunset to spin any way she abuses her kid as "tough love" and "cult deprogramming" and "saving" her!

And intersexism/exorsexism/binarism? Friends, I hate to break it to you, but all trans people are treated as gender-confused freaks who fail at being BOTH men and women, regardless of whether we're actually nonbinary or not - what gender are we? Whatever is convenient to demonize us at the moment, regardless of whether or not it's ACTUALLY part of our identity. Trans men who do not pass perfectly (and in fact many who do) are degendered, assigned "nonbinary" because Real Men Don't Look Like That, and then made into all of those horrible transphobic jokes about nonbinary people really just being the worst misogynistic stereotypes of ditzy bimbo not-like-other-girls girls who just want to be special and are simultaneously incapable of taking anything seriously or accomplishing anything as activists but also SOMEHOW able to overwhelm and devastate the entire community of REAL, DESERVING queers who are REALLY oppressed unlike them. Do we not remember that one Reductress headline? They/Them Pronouns Suddenly Easy For Person Misgendering Trans Woman? Do you think the trans woman being misgendered in such a situation is NOT being cast as the butt of exorsexist, intersexist, binarist garbage?

We're all in this mess together. Bigots don't draw neat lines in the sand that never get crossed, however much they like to say that's their purpose. We should stop trying to do their job for them.

[this-is-exorsexism]

exorsexism is being bigender and being tired of people trying to shove me back into a dichotomy.

why do you want me to pick between "trans" and "cis" when i fit both descriptions? why do you want me to pick between "masculine" and "feminine", especially if you're going to make me use transitioning terminology, when I am moving towards both in a distinctly queer way. I've yet to see any argument against transmascfem / transfemmasc and transandrogynous people that isn't exorsexist, intersexist, and assumes so much about my body/life/childhood/hormones/chromosomes/and so much essentialist bs like that.

I am tired of people telling me I must be neutral, I am not neutral or even nonbinary. I am both points on the binary and I am shattering it. I am uniting the masculine and the feminine, the male and the female.

Then to have people tell me I can't label my orientation because I am both? Can't be gay because I'm also a lady, ignore my fiance and my whole teen history I guess, can't use Uranic because it's a "divisive microlabel", can't call myself "Straight" because it's internalized.... something, can't combine any existing labels because that's "nonsense". I just want to love men, and I've found one who can love both of me and all of me. I won't pretend to be Mspec for your comfort. Why can't you love me like he does?

I am tired of people telling me I have no orientation by policing me out of any and all language I try to use. Can't be aspec either, or they can't fetishize me as a bigendered trans person (and we can't have that). (sarcasm)

Exorsexism is coming out and feeling the same pressure from your queer siblings that you feel from the "outside". Exorsexism is wondering if you should just lie about who you are and who you love to your "community", because I don't know if I can stand getting shoved in the closet again. I don't care how pretty or progressive your language is while you tell me why it's bad for me to be Bigender, because we have to uphold THIS binary, THIS dichotomy, or everything will collapse and it'll all be MY fault for being greedy and not "choosing a side".

This is exorsexism and I'm sick of it.

this is exorsexism.

[yharnamsnewslug]

The reason why y'all don't want us to talk about transandrophobia is because your simple black and white worldview of women=good, man=bad, nonbinary=basically women so good unless amab, too deep in medical transition or just not attractive/feminine enough for me.

Like........ we know you're transphobic. And deep inside you know it, too, and you want to ignore it because ignoring it is easier than to shatter so many other beliefs you have that rely on this narrative you've built.

But I promise you can care for women while also not being a raging transphobe and exorsexist. And very probably intersexist and transmisogynistic at the same time lmao.

[goat-moth-thing]

i feel the need to clarify, i am not saying trans women are uniquely intersexist. i'm more trying to point out how the opinions of a few exorsexist trans women's are valued over the opinions of nonbinary people hurt by this slur

i'd also like to mention, i've seen quite a few self proclaimed "TME" parroting the view that this slur is harmless and people are just being overly sensitive, while simultaneously claiming their support for trans women

so, this one goes out to everyone, regardless of identity. being transphobic to one group and not another still makes you a transphobe. if you call nonbinary people you don't like "theyfabs" you are a transphobe.

why does a trans woman's opinion on the slur theyfab matter more than the people affected by it. why do you valuena trans woman's opinion over the people being hurt by this slur

[imaginariumrpc]

imaginarium : a place devoted to the imagination, largely devoted to simulating and cultivating the imagination, towards scientific, artistic, commercial, recreational and/or spiritual ends.

Hello, bonjour and pusu’l, lovelies! My name’s Arcana, I’m twenty years old, a Canadian, a Solar Cancererian, a Lunar Sagittarian and a Rising Libra, according to the Western Zodiac, and a Dragon according to the Chinese Zodiac, Genderfluid, Multigender, Transgender, Non-Binary, Intersex, Queer, Autigender, Pearlian, Two Spirit, Androgynos, Draoidhe,  DemiOmniBiromantic/DemiOmniBisexual, Autistic and otherwise neurodivergent, ENFP, Ravenpuff, Thunderbird, Otherkin, Therian, an Animist, a Pagan and I’m intrigued in the occult and witchcraft and I am additionally a white passing mixed triracial multi-indigenous person of color or more specifically, of Mi’kmaw, Wyandot, Wolastoqiyik, Métis and Sephardi Jewish heritage! I like cuddling and playing with cats and dogs and animals, eating pizza, taking pictures, music, reading, writing, gushing about friends and helping others. So with that said, I’m here to present you guys my new rpc / rph / aesthetic / inspiration / resource / personal / edit blog ! It’s for my own use but it can also be for your use ( provided you don’t take any of my original content off of this blog without my express permission ), the rpc and anyone else who wishes to use it, too! It features musings, codes, psd’s, psa’s, memes and a LOT more sprinkled with the occasional original content from me.

WHAT I DO:

a discord server affliated with this blog.

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faceless muse edits. ( muses of color and ships included! )

character emotional traits.

multiple genres, time periods and settings. ( i.e: historical, antiquity, medieval, vintage, modern, supernatural, fantasy, apocalypse, action, horror, science fiction, etc. )

aesthetics. ( i.e dark academia, solarpunk, retro, goth, lovecore, etc. )

theme recommendations.

template recommendations.

family templates ( occasional. )

fandom lists ( eventually. )

masculine, feminine and nonbinary.

cultural awareness.

locations ( including but not limited to interiors, exteriors, homes, and all the continents. ).

scenery.

nature.

animals.

mythology.

weddings.

religion ( specifically for muses from certain religions i.e jewish and muslim muses, etc. )

disabled and neurodivergent muse representation and resources.

resources and representation for the lgbtqia2+ / mogai community and its muses, i.e lesbian muses, gay muses, bi muses, trans* ( including nonbinary, genderfluid, genderless and other non-cisgender ) muses, queer muses, intersex muses, aromantic / asexual muses and two spirited muses, among other muses that are considered queer.

resources and representation for all muses of color, including black muses, indigenous / native muses, latinx muses, asian muses ( all asians, not just east asians ! ), pasifika muses, jewish muses, etc., that overpower than that of white muses, there are still resources for white muses, though muses of color will always be a priority on this blog.

resources for portraying pregnant muses ( will be tagged! ).

resources for portraying muses who practice witchcraft.

resources for portraying muses who are sex workers.

resources for muses of all ages, including children, adolescents, adults and elders.

resources for animated muses.

resources for nonhuman muses.

cuisine.

makeup ( for muses of all genders ! ).

tattoos.

nsfw. ( will be tagged ! )

pride flags.

texts.

userboxes.

seasons.

colors.

zodiac.

typography.

concepts.

plots.

imagine your otp/ot3/etc.

“make me choose” events.

confessions.

wardrobe.

physique ( friendly to all skin tones, body types, shapes and sizes! ).

wishlist.

faves.

crack.

shitposts.

mun stuff.

music playlists ( including my own spotify playlists ).

aesthetics and edits of my own muses.

resources and character tags for my muses.

stimboards.

occasionally post some of my fanfiction / drabble works.

occasional drabble / fanfic requests.

occasionally post some of my music works.

possibly post specific music edits when i figure out how to do so.

more to be added when i think of something.

WHAT I WILL NOT DO:

callout posts.

drama posts.

get involved in discourse.

flame other people.

bash on characters, fandoms and/or ships.

post recent spoilers of a series without tagging it.

tolerate bigoted, homophobic, lesbophobic, biphobic, omniphobic, panphobic, aphobic, arophobic, transphobic, enbyphobic, queerphobic, racist, colorist, sexist, exorsexist, intersexist, heterosexist, anti-polyamory, anti-mogai, anti-neopronouns, anti-nounself pronouns, anti-emojiself pronouns, anti-self diagnosis or mental health gatekeeper, victim blaming, gender/orientation/mental health gatekeeping, anti-otherkin, anti-feminist, ageist, speciesist, ableist, fatphobic, anti-black, anti-native, islamophobic, antisemitic, antiromani, xenophobic, exclusionist, transmeds/truscum, terfs/swerfs, radfems, heightist, sizeist, discrimination on cultures and subcultures, discrimination on religion or lack thereof, mysogynist/misandrist, white supremacist or any kind of supremacist honestly, nationalist, linguistic discrimination, or otherwise hateful, discriminatory, derogatory, vulgar and just overall dumb language, speech, behaviors and attitudes.

gif requests.

gif hunts.

manips.

textures.

crackship edit requests ( unless stated otherwise. )

edited icon batches ( unless if i’m releasing my own that i no longer use. )

theme / page / code making.

psd making.

more to be added if i think of something.

So, with that said, PLEASE like and/or reblog this if you’re interested in using it or at the very least spread the word! I really want to try and help people and have fun with you guys, but I can’t do that if this doesn’t get any notes. You can find out more information by reading my F.A.QHERE! Thank you so much for reading, I hope you all have a wonderful morning/day/evening/night! Yours truly, with all of my love, Arcana.

[lovenotesuggestions]

Hello there! I wanted to know if interacting with you outside of any transdiscourse was okay? I've been a long time follower, and am a (soft) trandmed, and I really love your blog. While I have a sideblog to keep my main free of discourse of any kind, I still have opinions. I have never interacted with my discourse blog and plan on never doing so, and I wanted to know if you still wanted me to unfollow?

Sorry for the late response to this. Thank you for asking and clarifying. 

I’m going to say you don’t as a blanket ban have to unfollow if you have those opinions. (But the more extreme end of the truscum opinion spectrum, i.e. you have to be binary to be trans, you go around telling people they’re actually cis or call people “tucutes” or “transtrenders” or something, you believe people have to want all available kinds of medical transition to want to be trans, like the types of people that think you have to want/get bottom surgery etc. in order to be Actually Trans, etc. aren’t welcome, cause that’s super duper yikes.) But there are a some caveats to that:

I don’t want blogs that post truscum content to follow/reblog from/interact with this blog, so I don’t end up with a bunch of notifications from truscum blogs or end up seeing that kind of content when I’m looking at tags on reblogs etc. So if all of that stuff is contained to a sideblog and you follow/interact solely with your main, then okay. Also, this should go without saying, but I don’t want anyone interacting with me if they have any intention of directly contacting myself or anyone who gets in touch with this blog in the attempt to invalidate their gender identity, by sending asks to myself/anyone else, or reblogging my posts with commentary, etc. Or really if you think that’s an appropriate thing to do at all really. Having opinions and posting about them on your own blog is one thing, but going out into the world and directly telling people who are just minding their own business that their experiences and feelings are invalid is another. But tbh, I’m hoping any of the people who fit those kinds of criteria don’t feel welcome here, because this blog will always be committed to vocally and openly accepting people regardless of their identity. 

My instinct is to say that I’d rather not have any transmeds following me, but there’s no way for me to enforce that - I don’t have time to check every blog that follows me, just like I can’t check that every blog that follows me isn’t a TERF or transphobic, exorsexist, homophobic, aphobic, intersexist, biphobic/panphobic/queerphobic, racist, ableist, sexist, far-right, etc., and things like “don’t follow if” pages aren’t all that effective IMO, because most people don’t self-identify as racist etc. 

And the other main reason I’m not outright saying unfollow me is that I hope by sharing my own experiences in a positive light as a trans person who has learned to love and accept their own trans identity, I could hopefully educate people on the potential harm that these ideologies do. I’d like to ask that any people who identify as transmed/truscum who wants to keep following me read my responses to truscum who have contacted my blog here and here, where I explained in greater detail how those views have harmed me as a dysphoric trans person who wants to socially and possibly medically transition, i.e. someone who is usually considered valid and trans by most truscum. 

Thanks again for making sure. 

[lesbian-so-queer]

you are a transmisogynist

Yeah, nah, the people spreading that bs about me are all assuming my CAGAB to defend their point and discredit mine, which is exorsexist and intersexist af, though. I only ever picked issues with transfem people who started shit first by talking about transmasc people, which is none of their fucking business.

I also never said that trans women as a whole were hurting the “poor innocent transmascs” or whatever bs that other asshat said about me. I merely opposed like, maybe five different, famous, transfem people on this site, and got dogpiled of it.

It’s just that people need to stop framing transmasc people as privileged, is all. Cus they’re not. And they’re certainly not (y)our oppressors. Cis people are. Editing this again, but I just wanna say that a lot of assumptions were made about me in that conflict, because y’all just really needed a strawperson that fucking bad, it’s like you can’t imagine that someone opposing you on trans matters would just be a person, no, we gotta be a villain or smth.

[askanonbinary]

how do you feel about the xy xx stuff? like for me i like seperate gender identity and sex as different things, like i know i was born as one or the other but like my brain does not correlate with that like ya i get im a boy or a girl but i dont feel like one or the other i feel like both

Well, I mean. XY and XX are two of the common chromosome pairs you can end up with. I don’t think anybody is denying that. What I have heard said is:

Those aren’t the only possible chromosome pairs to end up with, and it’s disingenuous (and intersexist) to act like they are, especially from the medical community.

There are several ways in which someone may be born with chromosomes other than XX or XY and never even know it (or not know it until later in life), so there’s no reason to stress those combinations and only those combinations.

Your chromosomes do not determine your sex/gender. They determine your anatomy.

What I believe you’re actually asking is “do you subscribe to the belief that sex =/= gender?”

I will not speak for the other mods, but personally? Short answer: ultimately, no. Longer answer: I have a lot of conflicting thoughts. On one hand, our perception of gender is, no matter how much we try to detach, wrapped up in the cissexist/exorsexist gender binary that has been constructed. So, for many, the idea (or for them, fact) that sex =/= gender is an incredibly helpful explanation, especially in tackling and dealing with any physical dysphoria. Particularly for people who are not cis but still fall within the binary (although not just these folk), the sex =/= gender idea is a useful one to explaining and categorizing how they feel and how they know they are not cis. However, I also think that the claim sex =/= gender can be overall as harmful as it may be helpful. It can be a less helpful idea/concept/fact for nb/trans people with no dysphoria, nb/trans people with gender euphoria, nb/trans people who do not want to transition, or nb/trans people who prefer the idea/concept/fact that they are biologically whatever gender they are. I think it’s also harmful for its part in holding up the gender binary: specifically in the mutilation of intersex babies and mislabeling/misgendering trans/nonbinary folks for “official” purposes (specifically medical purposes).

Personally, I have a hard time reconciling myself with sex =/= gender because for me, sex = gender and I simply have the body I have.

tl;dr I’m not opposed to having the two camps (sex =/= gender AND sex = gender) coexisting, as both concepts are useful for different people. For me personally, sex is just a synonym for gender and my sex/gender has really nothing to do with my anatomy. I do not personally consider the dysphoria I’ve experienced in the past to be intricately connected with my gender, only my perception of my body (which is something I’ve struggled with even before I ever started questioning my gender). But my experience is not everyone’s experience.

I’m also going to go ask the other mods to chime in if they want, so you can get a robust answer to your question.

~ Mod Sock

I disagree that sex=gender, although I understand what you are saying. My sex, however, is not and will never be my gender, will never in any way be connected to my gender. I am not an intersex individual, this is actually something I have looked into when I first began struggling with my identity with the understanding that it is easy to not know that you are intersex early in life. Biologically, I fit every standard for what is considered female. Thats just how it is. 

Now, having said that, I am not female. Understand, I am a mentally ill individual who has a very weak grasp on reality- I do not experience delusions nor hallucinations, but my concept of “self” is so far removed from my body and even my experiences that to describe any portion of my identity as connected to my body would undermine the relationship I have with it- which is to say, none at all. My body is not me, my gender has always been an expression of my self, removed from my sex and removed from other’s perceptions of who I am based on my body, if that makes sense?

This is not the experience of every other nonbinary individual. However, neither is yours. A lesson we have been pushing here a lot is that there is no one way to be nopnbinary, and this is a great example of that. The concept of sex not equating to gender is not a belief that many subscribe to, but rather, a reality for a huge amount of nonbinary people. The idea of the gender binary, and its inherent relationship to the idea of a sex binary is incredibly harmful, yes. Medical focus should move beyond describing sex and more about describing specific anatomy, yes. But in discussions about identity, it is important to recognize that everyone lives with a very different view of reality; what is blue for some may be something else of others, yes? But that doesn’t make my blue any less blue than yours, it is just a different perception of it. This is my reality, and yours is yours, but something as incorporeal as gender should not be discussed in terms as how it exists to you, rather, as understanding how others exist to themselves.

(note to readers: both of us discussed this separately and edited our arguments to reflect our changes in thought process so if it looks like I’m responding to a different argument; whoops, my editing was not super effective)

-Kan