#also just Being Kitten as a relationship role? better than i even imagined

[vaginadentatas69]

im gay & i love my boyfriend & im so glad i finally found a Daddy dom who speaks my love languages and theyre so sweet and funny and dorky its like a Dream Come True. truly incredible amounts of dopamine from this relationship. i should have hopped on that dick years ago.

[writingandmore]

Hi!!! May I get a HP, Star Wars, Voltron, and Disney matchup?

𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗦 + 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘

19, Libra, Neutral Good, enneagram is 4w5, muggleborn Ravenclaw (with Gryffindor tendencies), and my patronus spirit is Hummingbird. Biromantic Pansexual Genderfluid woman using pronouns of She/Her or He/Him. Cherubic-like face, with short height (5'1") plus sized Southeast Asian woman with Spanish descent that has chic messy/wavy brunette medium hair that reaches to my shoulder, oriental skin, slightly upturned eyes, small lashes, chocolate brown irises, cute flat nose, heart shaped face, full cheeks, cupid's bow lips, a small beauty mark on the forehead, and naturally straight teeth with tiny gap in front (just imagine that it's a mixture of Marinette from 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆𝗯𝘂𝗴, Musa from 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘅 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯, and Alexandra Trese from 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲---cause' my friend told me that I kinda look like them). My sense of fashion is in between emo and boyish plus korean glam, I sometimes let my hair down or styled like Lara Croft reboot.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬

Distant, quiet, and timid at first making people thought I'm a demure, modest, and self-effacing that looks "immaculate" or "one of a kind" (due to my protective mom, a reason why I've never been in a relationship) but the truth is, dunno how to initiate a conversation, but a total opposite if I open up---friendly, ambivert, witty, laughing loudly on a daily basis---like my happiness is too shallow, super talkative, eats a lot (yeah I can finish a huge slice of cake or a meal in one sitting), awkward, daydreamer (I got embarrassed from knocking at the door even I'm inside the classroom 😂), EXTREMELY CLUMSY (mostly gets bruises from hitting, bumping my head somewhere, walking into something on my way, and being careless to my belongings), secretly likes affection, easily overwhelmed, prone to melt over wholesomeness, flusters on compliments, lightly blushes on cheesy banters, eager to share what I know (especially about Catholic Church---my past teacher joked that I'll become a saint because of it 🤣), oftenly speaks full of sarcasm with a lowkey crackhead energy citing meme references, and talented girl who can be your no.1 supporter and unashamed to be true to myself but can be awkward to strangers. In terms of leadership, I only educate and guide than being a prefect (I might take the role seriously), will lift my group when there's lacking/incompleteness. About doing projects in school, I become too extra and prepared for efforts, but I'll forget the process in the end.

The extent, I'm expressive, warm-hearted, willig to help, kind, intelligent, supportive, nice, creative, enthusiastic, laid-back, determined, tough, competitive, and feisty outside, but a real softie that can be childish and dramatic that cries so easily (but will enlightened real quick by smallest things that makes me smile) filled with doubts, frustrations, and insecurities with fear of failure that pushes off the limits to to please everyone because they might get dissappointed from expectations---I simply can't stop proving myself too much because I'm a survivor of bullying. But I still managed to be stronger than ever after I stumbled, even it's a slow burn process. I can be blunt, intimidating, harsh, and a douchebag if I receive ends or I got interrupted while doing something. Immature, headstrong, perfectionist, demanding, hesitant, jumpy, forgetful, overthinker, quick-tempered, sensitive, and anxious (no joke, my nervousness makes me think worse scenario will arrive). Though can be procrastinator and arrogant, I raised as a religious 𝖺𝗇𝖽 diplomatic youth, willing to fight what I believe (including my dreams and what's important to me) and what is right. In addition, I have a habit of staying up late and doing sign of the cross to ease nervousness.

Rowdy and feeling-brokenhearted and bitter friend in the group who fangirl a lot, swears like sailor, will call out on people that we loathe, will make fun of your stupidity (in a good way) before helping, and bring gossips, but a hopeless romantic and cheeky (makes banter with sarcasms or pick up lines as an endearment, but gets annoyed if I received sappy or offensive one), Still generous and concerned person in a subtle and different way.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦

My hobbies are singing, drawing, roleplaying, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. I'll include making corniest jokes/puns, sleeping, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD). I also used to learn Italian language a bit.

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Loves kittens, milk tea, singing at the karaoke, cartoons, iced coffee, memes, cute things, watching YouTube videos (mostly pageants, ASMR, edit audios, and mukbangs), also enjoys playing games on my sister's PSP. Sucker for arts, choir, poetry, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writing, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes Catholic songs, kpop and ppop, chocoholic, and a sweetooth as well.

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Things that I hate are stereotyping, HUGE creepy crawlies (spiders, toads, snakes, and cockroaches), firecracker sounds, thunder and lightning, being left out, loneliness, heart break, blackout, and judgemental people. If I found out that someone hates or backstabbing or being rude to me, I won't hesitate to throw offensive criticisms, leaving them with a "I don't give a f" attitude. One random fact about me is, I 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 vent out EVERYTHING I despise in my entire existence---from bad soap operas to toxicity, worse scenarios in real life, and how terrible is my love life from unrequited feelings that I got, because it's a big deal for me, and I consider forcing me to do what I'm not into and manipulating me as my major pet peeves.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦

In terms of triggers...I only have two which are ta𝖨king about divorce/annullment/separation because I came from a generational broken family (it sucks that some people I knew assumed that the reason why I'm overly unaware that someone is interested in me in secret, is I have "high standards" looking for a partner, but the truth is I'm strict and I have a personal preferences...I know my worth and I don't want settle for less!) and religion/beliefs discrimination, cause' there are reasonings that doesn't makes sense because some, sounds too hypocritical, like as if you're a morally good person.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘 + 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗨𝗔𝗚𝗘𝗦

My love languages are quality time and gift giving, but I actually swoon over physical touch (especially cuddles and cute kisses) and words of affirmation when it comes to having a partner, though I get attracted so easily, matured but can be a goofy person who's nice, friendly, kind-hearted, loving, faithful, and excels in academics is my cup of tea. Whenever I have a real life crush (which is rare), I act the same but deep inside, my heart is about to explode and will eventually share to my trustful friends how I highly admire that person, however if they spilled the beans out, I'll obviously deny it and will cry if they like someone else, it will take some time for me to move on, now I don't care for them anymore.

Best Friends to Lovers is my ideal trope because I find it very cute since you already knew each other before dating (which happened to my 2nd cousin, she married her best friend!)---perfect balance for romance, laughters, comfort, and tears when it comes to sharing your vibes, being there through thick and thin, safe with embraces, and helping each other to grow.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗔𝗦

My best assets are smile, eyes, personality, singing voice, artistic skills, writings, intelligence, oratorical skills and I have potential in hosting...so I can consider myself as a singer, artist, orator, speaker, and a top student who's a former active campus ministry member with three roles (choir leader, psalm singer, and reader).

May sounds different but I'm passionate for helping people through my talents and sharing my story to inspire everyone. I may look selfish, but I have a different way on how I show that I actually care also I have a biased sentimental value

Currently a college freshman, learning how to cook. I have so many interests, to the point I don't know what I'm into because of my dreams to become a popular Filipino YouTuber, a novelist, and being part of a successful chorale competing internationally...I also consider joining pageants at school too once the pandemic ends, but maybe.

HP: Remus!

- Remus is also quiet and a bit reserved when he's not in a familiar situation, so your own first impression on him would be a good one, as you'd seem similar to his own personality. He's sweet and is able to start up a conversation if he notices the other person is having a hard time doing so, so hopefully he'd be able to bring out your more extroverted and friendly self after a while so he can be around the more open you. He wouldn't mind you being a bit awkward-he's very much the same way-honestly, the comradery that would come from that would be more positive than anything else. He loves sharing knowledge and learning about new things, so your eagerness to talk about what you know would work really well also! He does a lot better when he knows someone has his back too, so your extra supportive nature would endear him to you as well.

SW: Han!

- Your nicer and more helpful personality would balance out Han's more standoffish vibes when first meeting. You might get on his nerves a bit first, but you'd quickly grown on him and, in turn, make him a bit of a better person. Your ability to be blunt and a bit harsh would serve you well if you ever needed to stand your ground on an issue that two of you have, as he can be quite stubborn.

VLD: Lance!

- Lance can be a bit immature from time to time as well, especially when it comes to trying to be funny or cheering up those around him-he's also headstrong and typically firm in what he wants to do, so your own determined personality would attract him to you a lot as well. He often puts off things he needs to do if they make him anxious too, but if you both recognize that you share that problem, helping each other might be a good solution!

Disney: Flynn!

- Flynn is quite a sarcastic and teasing person, so your own humor would match well with his. He's also quite a hopeless romantic as well, even though he's certainly not one to admit that right off the bat. He enjoys singing, and as he gets closer to someone he feels more comfortable doing so in front of them, so a partner he's been with for a long time would get to see him be more and more open with it. That also applies to activities like dancing.

[mystic-kitten-writer]

Headcanon: uhm how the gaang treats yue or how they see yue shshhs

OKAY, so I decided to focus on the girls first because I went off (but are we really surprised? This is me we’re talking about). 

I focused on how they met Yue, what made them click, and how they treat/view. Consider this headcanon for Limerence as it is developing, not as an end-all-be-all.

If you want one of the boys (Aang, Sokka, Zuko) let me know cause I’ll post it ASAP rather than dwindling around~

Katara

“Yue?” Katara would perk, before smiling, “She’s more than just a friend; she’s family, a sister.”

Katara, Aang and Sokka are the first ones to met Yue after she saves Aang. Immediate reaction - grateful.

Secondary reaction - worry. Katara’s blue eyes settled over Yue, and saw how frail she looked. Her clothes dirty and torn, hair a birds nest; she was skin and bones. Katara’s ‘must-take-care’ instincts blaring.

The same day they met, they bonded;

Yue was sitting in the river under the starry night as Katara helped wash her hair. She couldn’t help but notice the tiny scratches and bruises that littered Yue’s skin, superficial. But she could imagine how they stung.

“Why don’t you heal yourself, Yue? You’re a Waterbender.” Katara asked with her brows pinched, confused to see all of Yue’s injuries. But Yue let out an awkward giggle, shyly sinking further into the water, “I-I’m a terrible healer.”

“I can teach you if you want.” Katara perked, happy to show off her skills to teach another.

But she quickly noted Yue’s expression in the reflection of the water. Her eyes heavy, lip trembling. It was an expression filled with deep pain and sadness, and without another word, Katara found herself embracing Yue from behind.

From that point on, Katara took on the big sister role despite being the younger one by a few months.

Katara sometimes stares at Yue and has to smile, happy to be by her side and watch Yue grow. She wasn’t the girl crying in the river anymore; she was the impending Queen of a Nation.

She always stands up for Yue and encourages her to put her foot down whenever someone disrespects her. Even Katara’s frustrated at how nice Yue is.

Very protective, and will lowkey judge the people Yue is around. She knows Yue is a bit naive and doesn’t want someone to take advantage #SorrynotsorryZuko. 

A bit disappointed that Yue never Waterbended with her, despite asking her multiple times to train. She finally found another Waterbender, someone who was by her side full-time, and it proved fruitless.

The one time they did battle, Katara was about to go easy. She quickly realized never to doubt Yue’s fighting skills…but her healing could use some work.

Guilty for thinking Yue was a Firebender at first.

Was lowkey jealous at Yue’s and Aang’s relationship and how quickly they hit it off before realizing it is just Yue’s personality

Often bond in the hot springs with a nice face and hair mask, fantasizing about their future and wedding plans.

Katara’s go-to person to vent and shop with.

Will cook meals for Yue because Yue cannot cook to survive. Katara’s still baffled at how Yue managed to burn boiling water. Like seriously, how?

Often heals Yue’s bruises and scratches because she’s way too clumsy. Also stopped asking questions as to how she even gets hurt. A papercut from a teddy bear?

“Yue’s biggest strength is also her weakness, her heart.” Katara would softly speak, twirling her braid in her hands, “But that’s why we’re here. To make sure she’s okay and that she doesn’t live off sweets because that girl has a sugar addiction.”

Toph

“She’s alright, I guess… kinda whiny, always needing attention, we call her Princess for a reason- but…” Toph would start before stepping forward. She would cross her arms before whispering, “She’s an amazing baker and gives the best hugs. BUT YOU DIDN’T HEAR THAT FROM ME.”

Toph and Suki met Yue a few days after the others, and the first thing she noticed was how damn light Yue was on her feet, another Airbender?

Yue was quick to greet Toph, voice chirpy and filled with life, and for a moment, Toph thought Yue was going to be an absolute chatterbox. Talking her ears off until they bled. Imagine her surprise how quiet Yue got after their greeting, standing off to the side as the others spoke.

Toph would study her movements, how she twirled her fingers, pulse racing…

Their moment of connection would come days after, Toph feeling the ground underneath her vibrate, just a touch. It was enough to wake her up from her slumber, feet embedded on the ground and searching for those light footsteps. Toph would begrudgingly follow, thinking it was Aang taking a late-night stroll before they suddenly stopped.

“The stars… they’re beautiful tonight. Want to experience them with me?” Yue would hum, taking Toph off guard.

“I’m blind-”

“You of all people should know there is more than one way to experience the world.”

Toph would snort, kicking the dirt under her feet, “Oh yeah? Explain colour to me.”

Toph could feel Yue walked towards her, bending over, a distinct pulling sound-making light, before standing upright. Yue’s hands gently reached for Toph’s, letting something dewy in nature fall into her palms.

“Green… it’s the grass and leaves, soft and tickles your toes. Filled with life. It’s not my favourite colour; I enjoy red much more. Red is the colour of the blaring sun against your skin. Like a festering burn, pulsing with strong vibrations.”

Yue’s wasn’t that bad after all.

Abnormally tolerate to Yue’s need for physical affection. Timed ‘hugs’ are a norm (don’t want to let Yue know how much Toph loves them, or else she’ll never hear the end of it).

Careful about her tone with Yue. Rarely raising it like how she would with Sokka or Katara because Toph could feel how Yue’s heart would race.

One of the few people Toph would willingly let touch her feet and pamper.

Toph listens to Yue’s rants about fashion or makeup because there was something about hearing her heart skip - she dares say it, it was cute.

Toph went from feeling indifferent to Yue to finding an odd sense of comfort in her presence. An Aang 2.0, but a lot more sensitive and a way better baker.

Views Yue as a best friend and typically calls her Princess because she is one.

Taught her that being feminine in nature doesn’t equal weak. You can be fabulous and kick ass.

Will unconsciously take a big sniff around Yue. She smells good, like baked goods.

“She may be a crybaby…but she has a good heart.”

Suki

“She’s too cute!” Suki would laugh, smiling fondly at all the memories that seemingly flashed through her mind. “Yue is like a kitten. She’s cute and shy, but she has that curious spirit inside. A mischievousness that you’ll never expect to see.”

Suki met Yue at the same time as Toph, but because Sokka introduced Yue to her with much glee, Suki immediately opened up.

Funny enough, unlike the rest who shared a bonding moment via a direct personal experience, Suki realized she loved Yue when seeing how she spent time with Sokka.

Suki was lounging on the sandy beaches in the Earth Nation, enjoying the sun kissing her skin with the waves crashing in the distance. Sokka proclaimed that he was a sandcastle master, and Suki watched with lowered sunglasses how Sokka and Yue spent precisely two hours building a monstrously of a sandcastle.

Seeing Yue and Sokka bickering and having fun like siblings struck a chord with Suki. She was going to love anyone who can make her boyfriend that happy.

Suki dusted herself off from the sand, coming behind Yue and placing her hands on her shoulders, “Want to come shopping tomorrow with me downtown?”

“Me?” Yue would gasp, her eyes wide.

Suki would smile, eagerly shaking her head, and she saw that happiness spread over Yue’s face, “I would love to!”

Girls night is a tradition between them, getting tipsy- drunk on wine and spoiling Yue with dresses.

Guilty of being the ‘devil on her shoulder.’ Suki can’t help it; she loves Yue’s eagerness to try new things and learn, but her shyness always got the better of her, and that’s where Suki comes in.

Half of their conversations go from sweet to sexual in under ten seconds.

Besides Aang and Sokka, Suki’s the closest to Yue, they’re practically sisters.

Like Katara loves hyping Yue and encouraging her to stand up for herself and seek happiness. Suki knows Yue always puts herself second; that’s why she pampers Yue whenever she can.

Love teasing Yue with Toph. It’s just too easy.

“She’s a girl’s best friend, the best shoulder to cry on, and the easiest to tease.” 

[fan-clan-fun]

Clans of the Wood Ranks

On second thought, I just want the rank system looked over. Also because I’m frustrated at having to write the same thing over and over again (this is attempt four).

Yay! Good news is I figured out a workaround to finally access submissions and comment on them appropriately! Im so excited to read all about this!

Just know a lot of realistic cat behavior is taken into account, such as toms killing foreign kits and cats relying on their ears and nose for perception over their eyes.

When a cat of the Woodland Clans is born, they’re called kits or kittens. For the first month of life, they have minimal interaction outside of the nursery. The second and third months of life are generally spent playing and learning about clan culture through stories. Kittens four months old begin assisting other ranks that largely stay within camp. Upon five or six months old (depends on the maturity and size of the kittens), they can begin to help ranks that may be considered more dangerous. Cats are considered kittens until they are fully accepted within a rank, which usually happens between a year and a year and six months.

Interesting, I see you have done away with the apprentice rank. I feel like there are pros and cons with this. For one there isnt any illusions that kits are minors in every sense of the word, and it would be entirely inappropriate for them to hold certain responsibilities or expectations with relationships. But I can also see older kits being extra hurried to become warriors or the equivalent since being so much older than the younger kits but still being considered kits would be frustrating. I can certainly remember as a teenager  being annoyed when I was considered a child (even if I was still a minor and therefore technically a child).

A handful of cats take up the role of healers. They are to look after the health of cats within the clan and maintain a good supply of medicine in storage. While every cat in the clan gets basic medical training, these cats specialize in it and memorize remedies to every known injury and illness. Mollies also tend to double as midwives.

I like how this is worded, because it is important for the entire clan to have at least basic first aid, but also of course to have cats to specialize in it. I had always seen medicine cats to share like the medical side of birth, while older more experienced queens provided the emotional support, but I suppose these healers could do both. 

A handful of cats stay within camp as guardians. They are to protect camp, fight off predators and aggressors, and escort weaker members to other camps. Every cat does receive battle training, these cats also study strategy and the weak points of predators like wolverines, birds of prey, foxes, dogs, and coyotes. Tom guardians sleep with the rest of the clan and molly guardians sleep in the nursery.

I find it interesting you split up warriors into two groups. I have an image of some gorgeous big buff cats. And also female guardians protecting the nursery! Super cute.

Two or three cats within each clan are messengers. They stay within camp and are sent to camps of other clans when urgent matters need to be relayed. Only swift cats become messengers and must be disciplined in the art of remembering messages.

As nice as this is, I feel like the messengers wouldnt be able to be only messengers, as there isnt a constant need for messages to be carried (unless there is, Im just going off what I have been given). Maybe they are just some of the fastest hunters?

Seers are the one or two cats who are highly attuned to the earth, listening to her whispers and echoes. They can assist with daily life and have mates and bear kits, but must remain open to the earth’s voice. Many cats are born with an innate attunement to the voice and it’s partially hereditary. Commonly, a current seer’s kit, grandkit, or nibling will have this affinity.

I do like me some spiritual cats, I would love to hear more what they see about the earth!

Hunters is everyone else in the clan. They hunt for most of the food and patrol the borders, bringing friendly tidings from other clans. They take up the bulk of the population and have a wide array of personalities and skills.

Ah I see, so the Hunters are basically the warriors of the clan, with the guardians being like the equivalent of -claw cats being extra skilled in fighting

When a cat decides to bear kits, she can decide to move to the nursery at any time and become a mother. Because of the often stressful situations cats can get into, it’s imperative a pregnant mother remain calm lest complications will arise endangering her and her kits. Once they’re born, she will be with them at almost all times during their first month of life. After that, she can leave them for longer periods of time until they’re fully weaned. Once weaned, she can decide to stay with them until they’re all around six months old (when they’re kicked out of the nursery), or can return to her duties, checking up on them periodically.

Elders are the clan’s history and are just as protected as its future. They’re cats normally over a hundred months (eight or nine years) old, spending their days sleeping, bestowing wisdoms to all who ask of them, and gossiping on inter-clan politics and relationships.

The matriarch is the overseer of mothers and kittens. She will usually try to get restless pregnant mothers to calm down for a safer labor and look after the young kittens of nursing mothers when she needs me time. If any orphaned kittens are taken in, she will be their mother. In a way, all kittens born under her care are her kittens, and many young cats call her “Mother” alongside their own mother. She doesn’t even have to be fertile or have her own kits to be the matriarch; if she has a strong maternal instinct and knows a lot on mothers and kits and has the skill to back it up, she can be the matriarch.

I have had a similar role in one of my clans before, and I do really like it. Its something of the idea of a permanent queen, but only one and with a serious amount of authority in the clan.

The keeper is the diplomatic leader, not only in charge of maintaining friendly relations with other clans, but also other feline societies outside of the clans. Their job also includes relaying their diplomatic information to the leader and let members of the clan know when they should probably stop fraternizing with that sexy otherclan cat because tensions are high, so it’d be better if one of them moves to the other’s clan instead. A keeper is likely to have formerly been a hunter.

This is quite clever and makes me wonder about the existence of informants and primitive spy networks. 

The captain is the military leader, in charge of organizing a quick response when the lives of their cats are endangered. They are almost always a former guardian and normally a brilliant strategist. They are also in charge of overseeing the kittens’ battle training.

I appreciate that you have sort of deputies for the two major  ranks in the clan, which is nice because Im getting the vibe that these are fairly large clans, so the extra organization is helpful.

Lastly is the leader, the head of the clan. They are to make decisions for their clan as a whole based on the information gathered from their council of elders, senior clan members, seers, matriarch, keeper, and captain. Should the keeper or captain die, retire, or be exiled, the leader is to choose their replacement, knowing which cats are skilled for the role and who the clan would find a good decision. A leader is the final authority on all decisions, but the seers can authorize their overthrow if the clan is overall displeased with their rule and the seers receive an omen confirming this. A new leader is chosen upon their death, retirement, or exile through a vote of all adult cats between the matriarch, captain, and keeper. Everyone votes for who they are okay with being leader, not for who they prefer, so you can vote for everyone if you like everyone. The one with the highest votes wins. Ties should be non-violently resolved between the tied parties.

I like this because  it doesnt necessarily require votes for every decision, but there is a vote for a leader, which would then lead based on those votes and the advice of their council and others who are most familiar with different aspects of the clan. That said I can just imagine the shenanigans involved when it comes to an election, like do they campaign? What does a campaign look like? Are there any restrictions as to who can be voted for or is it just anyone? Has there been a time where a young and maybe inexperienced  leader was voted for? Its an intriguing possibility.

So yeah, I’d like to know what you think of this unusual setup for my clans. Thanks for taking the time to look it over!

This was lovely to look over! Sorry it took so long! Thanks for sending it in.

[mittensmorgul]

Plastic fantastic

I've put off doing this long enough, and spent the intervening days reading everyone else's interpretations, so there's gonna be a lot in here, but also a lot that I've probably not focused on too heavily because other folks have already said the things better than I could've. So this is just a recap of the things I personally feel are most significant and thematically cool going forward. It's... a lot... :'D

15.04 was infused with an element of surreality. Which I ended up referring to throughout this post as “plastic.” Hence the title. But this got super long, so here have a cut. :’D

Right from the THEN segment, we're reminded of Cas. Rowena's sacrifice, Cas's own suffering at Chuck's hands, and how this has affected Sam and Dean-- Sam miserable for having done what they had to do (right?) in sacrificing Rowena, and Dean PISSED but feeling like this was the only way to free them from what he sees as Chuck being a "fanboy" of them. It shifts directly into BECKY, who was described previously as a "fangirl" and involved in a supremely unhealthy relationship with both Chuck AND Sam (even if it was completely one-sided and creepy with Sam). And then shifts to Chuck being told-off by Amara in 15.02, in essentially a recap of all the best insults and condemnations she could fling at him... because he deserved it honestly, I mean HE LOCKED HER AWAY FROM THE DAWN OF CREATION TO SUFFER ALONE WHILE HE DID HIS THING TO MAKE HIMSELF FEEL BIG.

Okay, sorry, I just really hate that guy and his hypocrisy sometimes (read: all the time).

Right. Where were we. At the beginning.

Gunfight in the bunker, with the Danger Lights activated. I've been waiting for this scene since we got BTS photos of Jensen all battered and ragged with the beard. This... isn't real. It's not SPN universe real anyway. Since the SPPT promo came out, I have been eager to see this episode just for this scene. I guessed it was a vision Sam was having/receiving because of the Equalizer Wound, the beginning of his glimpses into "Chuck's writing process." Is this an AU that Chuck actively created? Is it just the sort of thing Chuck daydreams about? Or in the style of Supernatural episodes past, is this some sort of window into the ending Chuck wants/intends to write for them, which obviously would be something they absolutely could not let stand?

Like Dean’s nightmare he awoke from in 10.09 where he saw himself slaughtering a room full of people at the beginning of the episode, which became reality by the end of the episode? Is Chuck’s horrific ending that Becky hated what we actually saw play out in Sam’s nightmare? The show has invited us to consider that as at least a possibility. Or, to at least assume Chuck’s horrifying ending was at least that awful.

There's so much in this scene that doesn't match up with what any of us might imagine Sam would even consider a nightmare of his own mind's creation, you know? And yet it's SAM who is plagued by these incongruous nightmares that don't even really connect up with things that are relevant to the things currently on his mind, you know? After recent events, one would think the things that would plague Sam's nightmares would be the loss of Jack, or his role in Rowena's apparent death and his guilt/depression over it, or even the fight against the ghostpocalypse and the people who lost their lives as a result of that. Instead, he's having "nightmares" about having gone full Boy King of Hell demon blood addict, which hasn't been a pressing personal fear of his for more than a decade. He's even talked specifically about how he's made his peace with that entire time in his life, such as his talk with Magda in 12.04. NOT coincidentally also written by Davy Perez.

That's because... this is NOT Sam's "nightmare." Why would Sam "dream" about Dean's regular gun having the power to spark out demons? Why would he "dream" about BENNY being a human (and alive!) ally of Dean's that Sam had sent his own army of demons to destroy? Why would Sam dream that his demonic-self would hunt down and kill his loved ones (Bobby! Jody! and nobody else mentioned! as if this was some weird time-travelling situation combined with Benny's human presence!), and then in the end hunt down and murder Dean in cold blood? This wasn't Sam-As-Lucifer (though I believe we will be seeing that particular nightmare in next week's episode), but SAM. HIMSELF. Turned into the demon he always feared he was "destined" to become before they learned how to tear up the story and make their own choices about their destiny.

The problem now is that they actually believe that Chuck has gone, and they're on their own now. Sam believes that this must be his own nightmare, and therefore he's just stuck with it, as his own mind and memories and fears come back to torment him. He's lost his power to fight against it, like Dean's lost his power to fight against his current experience. It's as if the only power Chuck retains over them is in the fact that they BELIEVE he's gone, you know? Magic's power is in the belief of the caster, Rowena has recently reminded us with her own life. And I think that's exactly what's leaving Sam and Dean so completely vulnerable to manipulation by Chuck, in ways they've never before been vulnerable to it. Because they've both staked their entire futures on the fact that they so firmly believe they're free of Chuck's story.

Sam is just... so confused by this nightmare, he can't even make sense of it at all. And the sleep deprivation isn't probably helping.

I think we've all covered the Meat Man conversation already, as well as all the Dean vs Food stuff, so I'll only add that commentary in here if I think of something I haven't already said on the subject.

Dean calls out Sam's assertion that he's fine, directly telling him "No, you're not," and expressing his understanding of what he's going through.

And here come the cheerleaders. And doesn't this (as I believe many of us have already said over the last two weeks) just smack of Sam's "fake case" Gadreel had him trapped researching inside his own mind in 9,10? Crowley had to convince Sam that what he was trapped inside wasn't real, that he was possessed by an angel who was forcing him to experience these things. And obviously the God Wound isn't direct possession, and I don't doubt that this is a real case, but how much of this case might have been "arranged" by Chuck, or how much of Sam's perception right now may be clouded or colored because of the effects of that Wound?

Not only that, but Dean is also a participant in this entire odd case, and he doesn't even HAVE a wound connecting him directly to Chuck, you know? But his judgment seems to be equally clouded by something, as well... I'm gonna call it Intense Denial. Dean is basing his entire life right now on the presumption that Chuck has stopped interfering in their lives, when I think the exact opposite is true. I think Chuck is now focused on them more directly and more intensely than he ever has been before, and their obliviousness to that fact is only strengthening his hold on them, and amplifying his power over them.

But back to the current point in the episode:

Sam interviews the vice principal of the school, and the girl who was killed was in the drama club, debate team, cheerleading, campus ministry, you name it. That's... an awful lot of potential friends, so Sam asks about BEST friends, and we're directed to Veronica "and the girls." Veronica is singled out, which makes her speech to the empty room later even more interesting...

This episode relies on a lot of the elements of the case they're investigating to seem rather... plastic. And Veronica stood out as one of these elements. She could've just been "one of the girls," but she was identified specifically here, and it's like that designation itself somehow altered reality just a little bit. Heck I think I'm gonna need to put this line of thought on hold until we get to the speech scene. Remind me to come back to this.. >.>

The Whitmans interrupt (oh those crazy parents from 1.08, at it in a completely different role), seemingly uncaring of the dead girl and demanding their son's future not be ruined by postponing the lacrosse game. (OH THE IRONY) Sam rightly calls them out on framing it as "the end of the world" if he doesn't get into his first choice college. These parents have already been established to be Those Kinds of Parents who will do anything for precious little Billy to get whatever he wants in the world. They'd probaly strangle kittens on live TV if it would guarantee their son's future, you know? We haven't even seen the full extent of what they were willing to do for their son, and they already feel like cartoonish villain types.

I need to take another aside here to talk about the boy’s name. BILLY. Which, considering how we left things in 14.20, we’ve all been wondering about what Billie is up to in the Empty, right? This boy that will, by the end of this episode, become a literal stand-in for Jack on a cosmic scale? Is called Billy. Just... consider that.

I can already hear Becky critiquing Chuck's Monster of the Week here... and in turn parts of the fandom cynically saying that this is the complaint on MotW episodes forever-- that they're boring or unimportant or skippable because the monsters are predictable and boring, and just... NO. YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY MISSED THE POINT.

I think the general assumption is that the case we watch Sam and Dean solve is being directly affected by Chuck's simple act of typing it out. In exactly the same way we believed Metatron influenced the events of s9 by the simple act of typing it out. Could he control the thoughts of the people he wrote about? Not exactly. Could he manipulate the situation via the power of the angel tablet-- the direct word of God-- to influence the scenario and events in improbable ways? Yes, I absolutely think he can. And I'll continue discussing this as we go along.

But we return to Dean leaning against the car eating pretzels. I've already written about his constant eating and drinking in this episode, but PRETZELS?! That's a new one for Dean. It's usually jerky, or chips, or candy, or... all sorts of other things. Where did he even get the pretzels from?

He'd apparently been at the morgue examining the body, and found a vampire tooth. So this case that seemed NOTHING like a vampire case based on how the body was found, suddenly there's irrefutable evidence that it's a vampire instead. Almost as if the facts of the case have shifted somehow, rather improbably and inexplicably. Just as inexplicably as Dean finding the beaver mascot riding a scooter "awesome."

The second girl to be abducted calls out Veronica as being "so fake" in her grief over Susie's death. And yet, improbably, after a long cheer practice, she's the only one alone in the school parking lot late at night. Where's the rest of the cheer team? The coach? Anyone? How was she there all alone? Yet she was, because the case needed her to be.

It's plastic.

Like the little square of crime scene tape left unattended in the woods. Weird, right? That after the scene was cleared and the original investigators left, it was still left there around an empty patch of dirt. And Sam and Dean... are just... standing there at the edge of the woods, boxed in by yellow crime scene tape and orange cones while they have their conversation about the fact the police have no idea what could've done this, and Sam laments the fact that it's THEIR job. THEY deal with the truth and carry the weight, while everyone else gets to go back to their blissfully unaware lives.

Dean busts out the flask while the two of them stand there in their own personal crime scene box, like their lives are the crime here. They ARE the victims of a cosmic crime. And the corpse of what their lives could've been, of what Sam had always thought he'd want of his own life, to live in a little town like this and just be NORMAL, is what they'll find on the autopsy here. And Sam is just beginning to realize he can't identify with those sorts of people at all.

And then we jump right from Sam lamenting the lost white picket fence to Becky's house-- where the front railing is white pickets, where she's built a real life for herself. Yet even something about it seems... off... just a little bit. That older kid seems way older than 7, which I assume would be the oldest any of her kids could be based on when we last saw her in canon, before she began to recover from her obsession and begin building a true happy life for herself. Heck maybe I'm talking myself into a problem that doesn't exist, and he's supposed to be just a really big 6-year-old, but okay. Or maybe he's adopted, or the kid of her husband from a previous relationship. GAH This is so not relevant to anything, why can't I let it go... >.>

Regardless, she clearly loves her family, and is invested in her life with them. Her husband is a man who truly appreciates and loves her in return. I'm really happy for her. Her husband at one point says, "Where would I be without you," and she jokingly replies "Covered in puke." And it's the same sort of cute exchange we saw between Sam and Jess in the pilot, where he asked, "What would I do without you?" and she jokingly replied, "Crash and burn." And considering that Sam himself will mention Jessica at the end of the episode, it seems worth pointing out the thematic similarity they're trying to set up here.

I wonder how much Becky has told her husband about the reality of the Supernatural books she's built her business and hobbies around, or her own part in the events of the books? More than Sam ever told Jess about the reality of his life? At this point, I'm gonna be glad her husband didn't end up pinned to the ceiling on fire.

Becky waves goodbye to her family as they leave for a day of fun, and Chuck waves back at her. He's inserted himself into her life again, and it's freaking creepy.

Chuck says he "wanted" to see her, and corrects himself to "needed." And here we have the laying out of the classic “NEED VS WANT” conundrum we’ve been yelling about for literal years. Funny that Chuck has it all wrong himself, you know? Becky makes herself clear that she neither wants nor needs him. He's not welcome there at all, and yet he presses on, past her assertion that his problems aren't her problem. I've already written a little bit about what Chuck apparently wanted from Becky, and what he actually got from her, so I'll try not to repeat myself, but to say that Becky was far kinder to him than he deserved.

So we learn about the second cheerleader's kidnapping, Dean makes an uncharacteristically flippant comment in front of the Vice Principal (somebody has a fetish), and kinda... blinks in shock at himself before professionally affirming they'll look into it and turning and walking away. Like he can't quite believe he actually said that. Which is weird, right? Because this is the sort of thing Dean has made flippant and kinda gross comments on in the past, right? But even when he's made comments about which cheerleaders are legal (4.13), or suggestive comments about even college students, he's rarely done so this blatantly directly TO the school principal, you know? This was... odd... like everything is just slightly out of sync.

I'm fascinated by the tiny models of Supernatural things that Chuck is prodding at in Becky's house. The first thing we see is Lil Levi's gas station. The only time we have EVER seen this gas station was in 10.03, when Hannah and Cas stopped there for gas, and yet Becky has the Impala parked by the pump, and what looks like a yellow classic car of some sort on the other side, hidden by the pumps so it's impossible to really see it there.

(I swear I will replace these Mittens Quality Screencaps™ as soon as HotN properly caps the episode... apologies for the photos of my tv in the meantime)

It was Cas's pimpmobile we've actually seen at this location in canon. And this was the gas station where Cas was losing his grace, desperately trying to get to Dean in time to save him, and Hannah kept getting them lost. He calls her out over her feelings-- dangerous temptations-- clouding her judgment and getting in the way. They're attacked by Adina, and Crowley arrives just in time to save them both from her, stealing her grace and force-feeding it to Cas, enabling him to power up again and save Dean. Aah, callbacks! And I mean, it might just be a visual callback to the fact that Jensen also directed that episode (and that gas station was named after his nephew), but it's still a reference that brings an awful lot of baggage with it, regardless of what prompted its appearance in miniature in Becky's house. Not to mention, this reference happened LONG after Chuck had supposedly stopped writing about the Winchesters' lives. And yet... Becky seems to know this reference, which had nothing to do with Sam and Dean and everything to do with Cas.

The second model we see looks incredibly like (or at least should all be having us THINKING of) the Carver crypt from the first three episodes of s15. And that's... super creepy, right? What is this building? Why did Becky have a model of it at all? This happened DAYS ago in canon.

And the third is Singer Salvage yard, with the Impala parked out front. How long has it been since we've seen it? In an episode that opened on Sam's "nightmare" that involved him strung out on demon blood having just killed Bobby and Jody in Sioux Falls? Interesting that Chuck expressed fascination with that particular model in this episode, isn't it?

He asks if Becky is still obsessed with his work, and she corrects him. She's obsessed with HER work. She'd essentially dismissed Chuck as the creator of Supernatural, and relegated him to the role of Recorder Of Events, as a prophet. It wasn't actually HIS story. But what she's made of it, what she's made her life's work, IS HER OWN CREATION, based on the same reality she believed that Chuck had been nothing more than a conduit for. And OUCH for a guy like Chuck to not even get credit for any of it now, because of the lie he'd told to insert himself into his own creation. It's incredible to me. He wants nothing more than recognition as the creator, as the writer, and Becky's far more interested in her OWN stories about the same characters. She saw herself as more than Chuck’s equal as a writer, she saw herself as his superior. He just recorded, she CREATES. She dismissed everything Chuck was most interested in, and writes the characters all having achieved a measure of peace and happiness, the same as she has. And Chuck... hates it. :'D

Remember, this is the guy who invented monsters before he invented anything else. Leviathans were his first creation, even before the archangels. But they had a nasty habit of eating everything else he tried to create, so he grudgingly locked them in Purgatory, and moved on to the next thing. And he's had a lot of similar failures over the years... like the original hellhound that Lucifer stole away (and that Sam killed in 12.15). Seems like this has always been the story Chuck wanted to tell, because he's always only ever had his original drama with Amara as a source for his creation. He's... obsessed... with his version of events, no matter how many times he's confronted with reality, he weasels out of personal responsibility for everything. Like he does in this scene with Becky, letting her believe he's just a poor dude who wants to keep writing and lost his writing mojo because his prophet powers dried up.

This is probably the first Becky's heard Chuck had a sister, who Chuck only explains rejected him because she "sucks." And... Chuck... you're leaving out the horrific things you've done to her as an explanation of why she refused to help you. He's still hiding behind the “super cute” Chuck Facade. And nothing he says is an out and out lie, but it's entirely a manipulation, a complete reframing of the cosmic scale of what's happened into something he expects Becky to be able to offer him sympathy over. And she's just not having it. And again, good for her.

Chuck admitting that he's lost and hates himself at least engages Becky enough to try something to get him moving forward (again, still thinking he's just a guy who's lost everything). And tells him if writing makes him happy, then he should write.

Meanwhile Dean's incongruously eating a hot dog (WHERE IS HE GETTING ALL THIS FOOD?!) and interviewing a beaver. Sam questions why, and Dean's not only gotten information about the case (mascots have access to cheerleaders), but information about the kid inside the suit (he's a smart kid, got a full ride to IU). Dean's been unusually productive while chewing that hot dog, apparently. But he’s basically a caricature of himself during this case, like he’s trying to wear a suit he hasn’t worn in 15 years, and is finding it really ill-fitting. (it’s probably all the snacks he’s eating, honestly)

Veronica hands Billy a black wristband printed SUSIEFOREVER, which... is probably how Billy's feeling at the moment (hello, she was his girlfriend and he accidentally killed her... this is gonna haunt him forever). Veronica (who we've already been told by the latest girl to disappear is "so fake" in her grief over Susie's death) seems to be coming on to Billy, or at least making her interest in him known. And we DON'T know how all of this will resolve yet, but there's an awful lot going on in this scene. Did Veronica actually kill Susie? Is she the vampire and is that the reason for this OTT "so fake" grief on her part? Did Billy's "anything for my kid" mother who interrupts the scene actually kill her and Billy know something about it? Why is everyone acting so... weird?

Because we're back to the plasticity of this entire case again. What's actually killing cheerleaders? What's really going on here? If this entire case is Chuck's machination, because he wrote it down, and therefore subtly affected the situation, is that why everything seems just slightly off? Slightly malleable, as if Chuck is only working out the details of the case as he's writing it all down?

Billy leaves with his mom, and Veronica is left in a dimly lit gym filled with empty chairs and programs for the memorial service. She's practicing her speech to this huge empty room, speaking into a microphone. And as she talks, she edits her speech.

We've seen Chuck do this. in 4.18, he had Dean push the doorbell with determination, and then went back and edited it to read "with forceful determination." Just before the doorbell rang, and it was a forcefully determined Dean doing the ringing... So Veronica's self-edit here seems almost like a Chuck self-edit.

Remember how I mentioned way back toward the beginning of this mess how Sam asked the VP for a clarification on who Susie's "BEST" friends were, and Veronica was singled out among a group of her close friends? And now Veronica stands alone not only as the sole person in the room here talking to empty chairs, but as the one with apparent motive to kill Susie, who's been accused of expressing a lot of over-the-top melodramatic "so fake" grief. And... she edits her relationship with Susie on the fly:

Veronica: We are here to celebrate the life of my friend Susie. No. *clears throat* *takes a breath* We are here to celebrate the life of my best friend Susie. My best friend Susie who I miss like... *sigh* like she was a part of me. And in many ways she's still a part of me. She'll always be a part of all of us. Susie Martin was as rare as a ghost orchid and as unique as a snowflake. So beautiful inside and out. But as Robert Frost tells us, nothing gold can stay. And that's what Susie was. Pure gold.

And during this entire speech, to the empty room, the music in the background is ominous, looming, tense. The musical cue is telling us to doubt her performance here, with the high strings picking up the tension just as she comes to a close and Dean shows up with his slow clap. I mean, it was a pretty OTT speech, delivered with an intensity that literally does feel rehearsed. Stilted. Plastic. Everything in the case so far has pointed the arrow at her being the monster. The framing of the narrative would support it if it had been true, but the background of the entire case feels exactly as Becky has described it. What if THIS was the original ending to the case that Becky had voiced her complaints about, as if THIS is the story that Chuck would've written.

But that's such weaksauce. MotW episodes are nothing if not thematically consistent. Vampires are about revenge cases, and this case is a very specifically pointed bit of revenge, of Chuck against the Winchesters. They ruined the last story he tried to tell, and the fact this started out looking like something OTHER than a vampire case (possibly a ghoul, based on the parallel to 9.10, and a dismembered body), and then seemingly remolded itself INTO a vampire case halfway through... it feels like that first fang Dean found at the morgue was Chuck sinking his teeth into their lives.

And Veronica, no matter how the case had painted her to this point, was completely innocent. A bit plastic, because she's a victim of this reality bend as much as Sam and Dean are, because the real monster of this case is Chuck-- only Sam and Dean don't have any idea yet.

Dean calls her on her fake emotions, and they directly accuse her of killing her friend. And get the proof that she was innocent because she HAS BRACES, which she's apparently self-conscious about, but it proved she wasn't a vampire. *SIGH*

Plastic.

So Sam and Dean look for video evidence from surveillance cam footage, which the police had apparently already looked at and found nothing, but now they find a car driving past immediately after the second girl's abduction. Did the police not see it? Or is this another bit of plastic?

Meanwhile back at Billy's house, his parents refuse to even hear him say Susie's name, and suspicion immediately shifts to their entire family. Billy's father washes blood off his hands, and nobody seems to find this strange. Are they all monsters? Did one of them slip up? What the heckeroo is actually going on here? Whatever it is, it feels like they're all complicit, and Billy seems to be having reservations. Except they've also got the latest victim tied up and blindfolded in their storage room. So... they're definitely guilty of something. But we're only halfway through the episode at this point, so there's clearly more to the story.

Chuck tells Becky he can't see what Sam and Dean are doing anymore, as he conveniently scratches at his left shoulder where his wound connecting him to Sam is. Which is wild, right? Because what little we know about the Equalizer gun was that it fired INTENT. And that it affects the person shot and the shooter identically. So what was Sam's intent when he shot Chuck? Dean had just told Chuck to "Go to Hell," but Sam didn't say anything out loud when he shot Chuck. Was his intent "stop fucking with our lives" or more vaguely grief-filled "go to hell" or something more? Because whatever intention Sam shot at Chuck seems to have directly caused both Chuck's loss of power AND his inability to see directly into their lives now. And after having watched the Sam and Dean show for their entire lives, Chuck is PISSED about not being able to see what they're up to.

And I wonder, incidentally, if this will be the same factor that's causing problems for the Winchesters, too... that Sam may have inadvertently severed whatever protective force had made their lives as hunters as... implausibly unproblematic as they've always been, you know? I think we'll be seeing that develop more in the next episode, but we saw hints of it happening in this episode too (like with Dean's comment about the killer having a cheerleader fetish). But regardless, I think this is why Sam is suffering these grief-fueled nightmares, his inability to breathe, and his general current mental state. He’s suffering from the same intent he’d fired at Chuck. Only it hit Chuck with a case of writer’s block, while it hit Sam with something he’s been unable to truly define or explain. Yet.

Becky tells Chuck to write about the Winchesters if he loves their story so much, because that's what SHE does. Her stories don't have to be based in reality for her to enjoy them, but Chuck's only metaphorically a writer. He doesn't just want to make up tales, he wants to literally create reality. During Becky's entire pep talk, Chuck's holding a little figurine of Sam pointing a gun, and ain't that just on the nose? She plucks Sam out of Chuck’s hands and puts him back on the mantle (and I admit to at first thinking it was the Cas doll from 5.06, because Dean did the same thing with Cas, putting him up on the mantle like that), but Chuck still expresses doubt in his ability to actually write.

And here's where the most incongruous stuff in the entire episode begins happening-- the family dynamics of a killer family. It's still unclear who the monster is among them, but like Dean, we are leaning toward the father. The thing is, none of it's actually plausible. That's the beauty of this entire case. It's plastic.

How did this single kid out of this entire town get turned by a vampire, and his parents just... completely accepted what happened immediately without question? How did they KNOW what to do for their son in this circumstance? They went out and killed animals for their blood for him. Where did they learn to do this for him? And then how could they so casually just... kidnap a whole human being just to feed their son? Why not go back to feeding him animal blood like he'd done before? They didn't see anything wrong with any of this, either. DID THESE PEOPLE NOT HAVE QUESTIONS?!

And what of the vampire that made him? Did that vampire just... turn him and run? Did he give the kid a pamphlet explaining vampire life to him or something? It's just utterly baffling that this whole family just... incorporated this development into their lives as if it was all an entirely normal thing to accept about their kid. The dad KIDNAPPED A WHOLE ENTIRE HUMAN BEING for him on his own initiative, the mom was ready to shoot Sam and Dean for interfering in their plans. LIKE HOW IS ANY OF THIS NORMAL?!

And perhaps most bizarre of all, Sam and Dean didn't see anything wrong with it in reflection later that night. But I'll get to that when we get there. Heck this note-writing thing is really hard when I already know everything that's gonna happen. I have enough trouble staying on point without the benefit of foresight. :'D

So these parents are insistent that they're doing all of this, sacrificing all of this, just for him. And when he tells them he doesn't want them to, they just beg him to tell them what he wants from them. And he's just so frustrated because they aren't listening to him. Like they don't even care about him despite professing they're doing all of this so he can be happy. And he's just... profoundly not happy.

So the father, when Sam and Dean show up, still thinks they're going to ARREST him. Which is a weird thing for a suspected vampire to believe, and he's horrified when Dean pulls out a machete instead of handcuffs. This is a totally shocking development for him, and yet he STILL holds it together enough to bargain for his wife and son's lives. And the wife is profoundly confused by this, and our suspicions shift to her. But that's still... not quite right. She's prepared to literally shoot what she believes to be two FBI agents to save her son, again, as if all of this was entirely normal. As if this is what normal people are willing to do for their monster children.

I've already written a bunch about Becky's critique of Chuck's writing, and how poorly Chuck takes her notes. Chuck... is really out of touch with fanfic culture. Becky's reading this story as if it was fic, not reality. She kudos'ed and commented, and expected Chuck to just accept that and move on, because that's how fic culture works. But he demanded a beta read level critique, and Becky gave it. And he shouldn't have asked for it if he didn't actually want it.

And here comes the revenge that justifies the Vampire Plot. Chuck... is the vampire. he's the monster that doomed Billy for no reason. Who drove the parents to such extreme lengths to protect their child. Because that's how CHUCK saw what TFW had done to protect Jack. He saw it as just that outrageous and unfounded, even though it was in no way the same. We just witnessed Chuck's critique of TFW's actions in 14.20, and it was scathing, mocking, and vindictive.

Plastic.

But I also suspect that Becky wasn't reading ~this case~ exactly, because she complained that Sam and Dean were tied up (they were never once tied up in this episode), and she complained about the villain monologue being stale (Dean does most of the monologuing here, and it's Sam who figures out what's actually going on). Just one more bit of plastic.

But Chuck somehow managed (even if he couldn't see it) to put Jack's 14.20 realizations about himself into Billy's mouth. As if Chuck's story had already been written, and through some power of its own it was brought into reality via these previously innocent people. The story itself is more powerful than the author.

Like Jack, Billy has been trying to accept responsibility for his actions. He couldn't control himself, he didn't know it would happen, but he's dangerous and needs to be stopped. And Billy's speech isn't a "villain monologue," but a painful confession of everything he'd done. So what story was Becky reading?

Sam angrily judges the parents' actions, and Dean expresses his shock that the father would've just let him cut off his head to save his son. And is taken aback at the comment that he must not have kids, if he doesn't think he wouldn't have done the same for his own child.

And Dean's like... well, no I wouldn't have done the same for my own child. It's a super messed up situation that I'd really been trying not to think too hard about, thanks. It's been less than a week and here you go bringing up the worst day of our lives, so thanks for that... but they carry on. The mother says they just wanted him to have a normal life, and that's something Jack never would've had regardless because of what he was. But he had *a* life, with the Winchesters. If Jack had been a vampire, they wouldn't have gone out hunting and kidnapping teenage girls for him to eat, you know? But they were willing to raid heaven and shout down God for Jack. But context matters. And this hastily assembled vampire family ready to play revenge/victim for Chuck's story lacked all context. They were plastic.

It's Billy who ends up dictating how his parents are to handle everything, calm as can be. And his parents finally listen to him. And he sacrifices himself to the Winchesters. And they just... go along with it, take him out to the woods, and Dean kills the boy kneeling at his feet, accepting his fate as he's clearly crying, while Sam watches on. It's what Chuck had wanted in 14.20, and Dean had refused to give him. And now this entire situation has been Dean, manipulated into providing that demanded sacrifice, one way or another. And the most interesting bit of it? Chuck... couldn't even see it playing out. He missed the whole show that played out in Chuck Puppet Theater despite the fact. Like whatever he actually wrote was irrelevant, because his intent is somehow still connecting through to the Winchesters in pantomime.

And Sam and Dean's reactions to all of this are also just weirdly plastic.

I've already written about Chuck and Becky enough I think, but Chuck's moved on from "Writers lie," to "I can do anything, I'm a writer." With some of the worst villain monologue we've ever gotten, with "There, see, it's making you feel something! That's good, right?" While Becky is outraged and heartbroken over Chuck's ending. The only thing I need to say about whatever Chuck's planned ending is, is that if the series ends the way CHUCK wants it to, it'll go down as the biggest intentional betrayal of a fandom in the history of television. The show has stated to us in this episode that Chuck is the final boss big bad, and that he cannot be allowed to win. He can't have the final word in this story.

In *our* world, the current writers have officially called out a good number of sins of their past and exposed them via Chuck. They wrote the Leviathans being a personal favorite of Chuck's despite being pretty universally hated by fandom... well... they're looking for redemption for themselves in s15. THEY can't allow the story to end horribly. They've staked their current writing cred on it, as well as the entire history of 15 years of building TFW into the heroes. Sure, they've joked that not all fans will be happy with the ending, but in serious comments they've also promised a "real" ending and not some advanced level deus ex machina that wipes everything clean, either. That's a lot to deliver, and Chuck's suggested ending of the Winchesters horrifically dead doesn't deliver any of it.

So... back to the denouement of the episode. To the Impala! The least plastic thing in the entire episode. But it's pretty plastic.

Sam suggests that what Henry did for his son, was something they would've done for Jack, given the chance. And no, he's not talking about kidnapping teenage girls to feed him, he's talking about offering himself as a sacrifice in his son's place. Because Dean literally did do that. He was willing to sacrifice himself to kill Jack before he could kill again. It's what Chuck had presented as the ONLY way to stop Jack from destroying the world, with the examples of Jack having accidentally killed Mary, and then the whole of society crumbling because Jack told everyone to stop lying. But Sam? He wasn't willing to sacrifice both of them. And then he learned the truth from Chuck, about the manipulations that forced them all to this point, how Chuck probably did have the power to make everything right, restore Jack's soul, everything... but he didn't want to because it was more entertaining for him to watch them act out his plots instead. He WANTED that drama, that horrible sacrifice. He ENJOYED it.

But given the choice, I think Sam and Dean both would've traded places with Jack. We actually *saw* Cas literally exchange himself for Jack in 14.08. But Chuck wasn't satisfied with that trade. He wanted more from them, and they decided they were done playing on his stage.

There's a bit of incongruity in the speech Dean gives Sam about his current state, as well. He's usually so much better at reading Sam, yet he's comparing Sam's current mental state to his own back in the crypt, after Chuck. And just... no? This is not it at all? When he told Sam he's felt like cashing in, *we* think of 13.05, where he literally DID think of cashing in, you know? That feels far more similar to how Sam's feeling right now than to Dean's ANGER and "we need a plan!" bossiness from the crypt after Chuck. It's jarring as a comparison, because IT'S THE WRONG THING ENTIRELY.

But it's wrong, because it's the glaring omission of Cas that's already been lampshaded in the episode. That Dean's current blind spot here is shining a violently bright light on what SHOULD be said. Just like the end of 13.05 when we all yelled "HELLO, DEAN" at the television when Cas didn't say the line to him. We've been talking FOR YEARS about how this show uses narrative negative space like this, how it expects us to shout HEY WHAT ABOUT CAS?! at the screen, or to see that even this driving scene in the dark, in the car, is a perfect inverse mirror of that scene in 13.05, where Sam had spent that entire episode feeding his favorite junk food that he criticized Dean for in this episode, Dean and dragging him out on a case in the hopes of making him feel like himself again and... that's what Dean's telling Sam he wanted to work this case for now, to show Sam exactly what Sam had tried (and failed spectacularly) to show Dean in 13.05.

Dean even quotes some of Cas's last words to him before he left, that he should "move on."

But they needed to walk around the giant Cas-shaped hole in the narrative. And they needed to do it this incongruously. And that's exactly why it works.

And it's why Sam CAN'T move on. He doesn't feel free. I've already written a bit about this, and how it's directly tied to Sam's wound, and what it's probably doing to him. And what IS it doing to him? Chuck wobbles his head side to side, and the Sam and Dean bobbleheads on the desk beside him follow suit.

[darknessisafriend]

You’re beautiful

As you'll see it's fluff I tried smutt but I just really felt uncomfortable writing smut about Joaquin, to me it didn't feel respectful 😅

Fluff Imagine 

Joaquin and Reader didn’t have sex for 2 months, you’re craving for him, but as he lost too much weight for Joker, he’s avoiding any kind of intimacy with you. He’s afraid you will find him ugly and his body disgusting and that he won’t give her pleasure and make her horny, but he can’t be more wrong. 

You and Joaquin had been dating for a year now, you had met at his karate club, from good friends it evolved into more; after all you had a lot in common, big introverts who preferred to stay home, animal lovers and defenders, also anxiety, the both of you had been dealing with it differently, Joaquin was smoking, like a lot and he couldn’t help but bite his nails; on your side you had anxiety attacks and you were self-harming, it had calmed since you were with him but he knew better than anyone else how hard it was to break an addiction, and that was the wonderful thing about your relationship, you understood each other so well, in such way that you always knew how to support each other.

The past few months he had been preparing for his new role, Joker. It was a lot of preparation, he had done research about mental illness and had also to lose weight for his character, Arthur Fleck and it was a lot of weight to lose, of course he had already done it before, but you couldn’t help but worry for his health.

“Don’t worry, as long as I can steal some pretzels from time to time.” He had replied teasingly, wrapping his arms around you.

He had let his hair grow, most of the time tying them into a bun, he also had them dyed black, and it really looked good on him, after all it was his natural color, but you were used to his pepper and salt hair now and it looked incredibly good on him. Still you never expected to like his Joker/Arthur look so much, it gave him a completely different aspect, there was something so appealing about it, his eyes seemed much more intense, piercing through your soul, and even if his body was more frail in a way he was more intimidating, not that you minded, you liked it when he was getting dominant with you.

However as he lost weigh and he got closer to start shooting, he was a bit distant with you, not emotionally speaking but physically, you hadn’t been intimate for what two months now? Such thing wasn’t so important in your life, but you need to know he still desired you, he was going to bed very late, a long time after you and when you woke up et he would get up, not staying for morning cuddles and now he was barely kissing you or hugging you, it was just frustrating. So one night you decided that you need to talk about it with him, just to be reassured. He was sitting on the sofa, reading a book, his dogs Soda on his lap and Oskar at his feet.

“Hey…” you called him softly, snapping him out of his reading, he gave you a small sweet smile in return as you sat next to him, leaning one of your arms on the back of the sofa, he looked at you curious.

“Yeah, huh I was just wondering something, it’s been a while since we…you know?” you asked feeling awkward, raising your eyebrows, he seemed to think for a moment.

“Yeah…and?” he replied not getting it.

“Well, it’s not just that we just barely have any physical interaction lately, hum…I just wanted to know, did I do something wrong?” he froze briefly, processing what you had just said, until he turned fully his body towards you, gently moving Soda from his lap, taking your hand in his.

“No, no, no, it’s just me, I just…” he sighs looking at your joined hands “I don’t like the way I look, it’s just fuckin’…ugly you know?” he confessed, eyebrows furrowed, this hit you, he was being ashamed of the ways his body looked, he didn’t want you to see his extremely thin naked body, he didn’t want you to feel his prominent ribs when you touched him.

“Kitten, no, it’s not…” you immediately grab his face between your hands, to look at him in the eyes, your thumb gently stroking his cheekbone “you’re beautiful, c’mon you know I don’t care about that whatever you’re thin like this or got your cute love handles…I still want you with my whole being. “you give him a tender smile, he suddenly leans in, kissing your lips with passion, his arms wrapping around you, he rest his forehead in the crook of your neck, you tightly hug him, caressing the back of his head.

“I’m sorry I made you feel unwanted, it’s just so fuckin’ annoying some days…” he admitted his voice muffled against your shirt

“No, I’m sorry kitten, I just made it all about myself whereas you weren’t going well…I love you” you corrected kissing his hair, caressing his back.

“If you’re not comfortable showing me your body for now, then it’s alright, just know that I still desire you this way…but maybe we can negotiate kisses and cuddles?” you added, starting to tickle him on the sides. He struggled trying to break free from you, you landed on top of him, between his legs, giggling, you kissed him once more, tenderly and so=lowly trying to show him how much you care about it.

“I love you fuckin’ much Y/N” he breathed, kissing the top of your head as you just lied down on him, your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, your fingers distractingly petting Oskar’s head.

If you liked it you can request other Joaquin imagines as long as it's not smut :) thanks for reading !!

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: Cats (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the day after the movie first airs in the U.K, so if you haven’t yet seen the movie don’t read on.

General Reaction:

First of all I want to put out there that I believe the success or failure of this movie Tom Hooper and how he's adapted the screenplay of Cats to transition from stage to screen, because I feel the negativity this movie is already getting are coming in two waves. From the general movie goer and then from fans of the stage musical.

Where I stand is as a casual movie goer in this instance but also a fan of musical theatre, so much so that my attire for this movie is somewhat Macavity inspired, although someone did say that my collar was very Rum Tum Tugger...I'm okay with that.

But to clarify, I have never seen the stage production of Cats. All I knew about it even leading up to the release of this movie was the one big song Memory and that I liked the look of the costumes.

Now with my relationship with the property explained, did I like this movie? Well I enjoyed parts of it. It’s a little bit like how I felt about The Rise of Skywalker, but while I thought the latest Star Wars was outwardly a hot mess with some enjoyable aspects, Cats is more of a “Not really knowing how to feel about it” type of movie.

There are some really great takeaways from this movie, and I feel again depending on the individual’s relationship with this property and musicals in general, will determine exactly what those takeaways are.

What’s Good:

Alright so this is what I found good/enjoyable, again I can’t decide whether or not I think this movie is good but these elements definitely are.

Costumes:

So I am going to start with the costumes because they're probably my favourite thing about the movie.

I enjoyed how for those who had costumes, because not every cat did, that they at least gave those cats a sense of identity; Macavity was one of these shady mysterious characters that you would come across in a dark alley and his clothes reflected that, Mr. Mistoffelees was a magical tuxedo cat and so dressed as a magician. Bustopher was an aristocratic cat, or Aristocat...sorry I had to go there as there are two Aristocat references in this movie, and Grizabella was a glamour cat but had been shunned and therefore sleeping rough possibly, this is all reflected in the clothing and it's fabulous.

The only outfit I didn't really get was Jennyanydots, I did find it funny that she had to unzip the one cat suit to reveal this pink almost work out outfit but I didn't understand the point of it.

Visual Effects:

As for the CGI used on the "digital fur", I appreciate the artistic stance Hooper and company took with the movie because, frankly I wouldn't expect anything less from the guy that directed both Les Miserables and The King's Speech, however, I did not really understand the need for digital fur as for a large portion of the movie they all just look like they’re wearing practical catsuits, and again with Rebel Wilson’s character when she unzips the one to reveal the other, which she does twice, you can tell it’s supposed to be a real suit.

That being said, from when you first see these cats during the opening number, you can see the payoff to these visual effects. They look genuinely like cats and all have markings that try to differentiate them. I didn’t know from the trailers that Victoria had markings on her I just thought she was a plain white cat but she looks almost snow leopardesk.

I also really enjoyed how they showed Macavity’s apparent ability to transport himself and/or others with that gold dust effect that was later used as Bombalurina’s (Taylor Swift’s) catnip to incapacitate the other cats.

Musical Numbers:

So I’m going to talk about the songs at the end as I do with all musical reviews but the actual productions of these numbers were fantastic. From the choreography to the cinematography of them, this was a very low on dialogue movie as literally at one point you have I believe three songs in solid succession with only one or two lines of actual dialogue in between them, so the actual musical numbers had to be impressive and for the most part they were.

There were never any numbers I was embarassed or cringing while watching, I do have my favourites and my not so favourites which again I will get into further down, but as I say everything from the choreography, cinematography to even the actors giving it their all during the numbers made them enjoyable for me.

Cast:

That brings me nicely on to my final good thing which is the cast, who as I said take this production seriously. I remembered seeing an interview with Judi Dench about this movie recently and she said that when acting as a cat the cast don’t know what the end result will be like because I imagine the actual visual effects of the cat appearance is put in after the filming.

Regardless of this, all these actors from the most seasoned such as Sir Ian McKellen and Dame Judi Dench to the younger more inexperienced like leading lady Francesca Hayward and even Jason Derulo who is of course a seasoned singer, but hasn’t really acted before, give it everything and take the role and universe they now inhabit so seriously that it never feels gimmicky or uncomfortable in that regards.

Do I think this movie has awards chances for acting? No because again the movie is mostly sung, I believe more so than Les Mis, but for costume, music and visual effects I’d definitely think they have a chance of at least a nomination.

What’s Meh:

Alright so nothing is outrightly or offensively bad in this movie, again thinking back to Star Wars yesterday which had blatant issues, this doesn’t really have that but when it does it’s not as glaring or as troublesome as Star Wars was.

The Story:

I say the story is meh because I still don’t really understand it, what my takeaway is that there effectively a talent competition night where Judi Dench’s decides which cat will ascend to this higher realm and be reborn into another life...

That’s great...but for the one who is chosen...does that mean they die? The very definition of “reborn” usually means reincarnation which means you need to die first...so when they send the cat off in that chandelier attached to that hot air balloon, does that cat die? From oxygen starvation?

Also, they practically cement this movie as taking place in 1930s London and you see the feet of one human and hear the voice of another so this is Earth just including these particular cats, so how does no one notice a hot air balloon attached to a chandelier floating through the sky? I don’t know if the 1930s had satellites or anything but something should have picked that up?

My final point is on the term “Jellicle Cats”, I still don’t know what a Jellicle cat actually is, they don’t exactly do their best at defining what one is despite the fact they have several songs containing the word “Jellicle”. “Jellicle Cat” “Jellicle Moon” and “Jellicle Ball” just to name a few.

I mean for fans of the stage show, they may have more of an understanding because maybe that explains the term better but in terms of trying to get non-Cats fans interested...not explaining what is clearly a core concept of the movie is a bit of a misstep.

The Ending:

Of everything in this movie, the ending monologue by Judi Dench was the only thing I felt was a little bit cringeworthy. First of all, I understand the musical Cats is based on a series of poems and I also understand this ending message is about being nice to cats, but I just didn’t think it was either necessary or needed.

Also the fact that Macavity was so easily thwarted, I mean I know musicals don’t have to have the big dramatic endings for its villains but for Macavity to literally try and hitchhike on Grizbella’s ride into the great beyond only to fall and just land on the roof without any consequences aside from maybe the loss of his powers? It was a bit of a damp ending.

The Cats:

Okay so we’ve talked about what’s good and meh, now going into the cats as characters. Not a full blown character analysis breakdown but, like my song section, in sections in order of my favourites.

By far my favourite cats were Macavity and Grizabella, Idris Elba as the villainous Macavity was great in the trailers and great here. As I stated before his outfit really added another layer to his performance, he has the right acting chops to be this type of villain. I still haven’t seen Hobbs & Shaw but have heard similar praise for his role there.

Grizabella meanwhile, is Jennifer Hudson...enough said. I loved her in Dreamgirls and I love her here. I do see similarities between her character and Anne Hathaway’s character in Les Mis particularly with their big emotional songs but I enjoyed the backstory to her character here.

I would also say Mistoffelees and Victoria do a great job. While not my favourites it is almost as if we are seeing the world from Francesca Hayward’s eyes. I know she’s supposed to be a kitten but I never believed her as such. Mistoffelees meanwhile had his moment to shine towards the end of the movie and was one of the more compelling characters from the trailers.

The veteran staples Judi Dench and Ian McKellen were great in this movie, as they always are. I know Dench’s role was gender-bent from the stage show but I think she works better as a female character. Theatre Gus meanwhile is a great example of the old thespians who maybe once had their time but are just looking for another spotlight.

James Corden, Jason Derulo and Ray Winstone were all surprises for me here. I knew the first two could sing but I found Bustopher’s aristocratic nature hilarious and he really lifted the mood when he came in. Rum Tum Tugger meanwhile is dubbed “the curious cat” however by the end of his song I went from thinking he was curious to just suffering with ADHD. As for Ray Winstone, it’s Ray Winstone as a cat! It’s fantastic!

Then there are the iffy cats, namely Bombalurina, Jennyanydots and Munkustrap. Munkustrap is possibly the least offensive but that’s because his role in the movie is the same as in the stage show which is narrator. It did annoy me that he effectively butted in to a lot of people’s songs but again as narrator I guess that’s his job.

Rebel Wilson as Jennyanydots, as I said before, really confused me in terms of her outfit. I don’t understand why she didn’t just wear the pink suit and that be it instead of having to unzip the one catsuit to reveal this other catsuit. I mean I guess it helped them later in the film but still. Also the fact she wanted a different life to get out of that kitchen? Why was she trapped in the kitchen?

As for Taylor Swift, if you’ve seen her in the trailers you’ve pretty much seen her scenes. Bombalurina is literally in this movie for one scene and it is for Macavity’s musical number. She is seen once more in a slightly later scene but then it’s never quite explained what becomes of her.

Songs:

Alright so here we go with the songs of the movie, grouped in order of the songs I loved, the songs I liked, and the songs I thought were...okay.

My favourites, again, were “Macavity”, “Memory” and “Bustopher Jones: The Cat About Town”. “Memory” is the only thing I knew and adored about this musical prior to this movie. The song speaks to me both as a musical fan and just a fan of great music. When I knew Jennifer Hudson would be performing it I already knew I’d love it.

“Macavity” is a very catchy song and Taylor Swift really works it. It’s not quite jazzy but it is close enough and the fact Elba also has some involvement in the song is great because I know he does also sing as a side gig. I thought it was a great character introduction despite the fact we have seen him throughout the movie.

“Bustopher Jones” was just a very fun and uplifting number, I loved James Corden’s aristocratic accent and how he moved around the streets even as fat as the character is. Interestingly I know Corden isn’t that fat anymore but again he was comfortable in himself to play it so I loved him for that.

The songs I liked were “The Rum Tum Tugger”, “Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer” and “Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat”. All three were brilliant production pieces, “Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer” was a great romp of a song, Jason Derulo brought his all to “The Rum Tum Tugger” and tap-dancing in any production will win me over let alone a tap-dancing cat.

The other songs I thought were okay on a varying scale, I don’t know why but Rebel Wilson didn’t win me over as she usually does. I think the production of her song was very off-putting. The mice with child faces and the cockroaches with female faces didn’t really work.

The others were very well sung but didn’t quite stick with me as the already mentioned ones did. Also “Beautiful Ghosts” was penned as Taylor Swift’s original song for the movie so I presumed her character would sing it, but the new girl Victoria did in the movie while Swift sang it over the credits...

Recommendation:

We’ve finally reached the end, okay so if you saw the trailers and were not one of the many haters who trolled the movie for its use of CGI and are interested in the story then go and see it because you will get something out of it. If you’re a fan of the stage production then I would still say see it because it allows you to form your own opinion.

If you are simply a casual movie-goer who wants an enjoyable two and a half hours then I would still recommend to go and see it but be prepared to be slightly confused if you don’t know what to expect.

Overall I rate this movie a 5/10, it was enjoyable and roughly 40-50% of this movie does work really well, it’s just the rest of it that needed more attention to detail in my opinion.

So that’s my review of Cats, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Movie Reviews as well as other reviews and posts.

[the-risen-tide]

OKAY SO, I finally went to see the new Cats movie in theaters.  I wanted to give myself a bit to collect my thoughts, because HOO BOY are there thoughts.  Not terrible ones though...like my reviews of everything else, I gave it a look with a level head.

Because I can’t really review without spoilers, I’m going to put my thoughts under a cut.  Read at your own peril.

Now, I’d promised myself ages ago that I’d go into the movie with an open mind and a clear head.  I’d already seen reviews that were divided greatly on it (mostly between people who’d already seen Cats on stage and those that have never seen it ever), but as usual it’s a good idea to have your own opinion.

That said.

I loved it.

The weird part is, at first, I came away from it thinking that I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would.  But everything about it from the visuals to the music (especially the new song, I’ll get to that in a bit) and the story, all of it was still sticking with me after I left the theater, and I began loving it more in hindsight than I did sitting there in the moment, if that makes sense.

Cats has always been one of those shows that breaks quite a few rules of what people think a show should be.  More an opera than a musical, more a dance/ballet performance than a story, with a look that allows the audience to use their imaginations, and as such can put more than a few people off of it.  It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but despite that, it’s memorable, and has a great following.  The movie seemed to try to take that feeling from the stage show, strange and mystifying and daunting (maybe even a bit awkward), yet charming and inspiring and heart-catching.  In many ways it succeeded, and some ways it didn’t...and where it didn’t was probably mostly the fault of the presentation.  And of course, opinions are going to vary wildly on it.

But anyway, for those that know and love the show, it’s a good idea to see this one as just another production, an alternate canon, because you can’t compare each production to each other (much less a movie to a stage show), as that’s where an adaptation fails in everyone’s minds.  This one seemed to take inspiration from the original 1981 production and build a new story from the ground up, while of course still keeping the music and songs that everyone loves.  The lyrics of some of the songs do call back to the original production (the version of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer used was from that one, and not from the 1998 video and subsequent performances, which I found surprising; but not displeasing, they did it very well), and while I was a little disappointed that Jemima/Sillabub wasn’t an important character as she is in the stage show, I remember Lloyd Webber at first wanting a kitten character with both Victoria’s dance prowess and Jemima’s singing prowess, who embodies the show as a whole.  He got what he wanted in movie form with Victoria, and they took the character to a whole different direction than the original, which was interesting.

So, to sum up, one can see this movie as an adaptation of the original ideas for the stage show.  It isn’t my personal canon concept, but it’s one I ended up liking just as much.  Now, here are my personal likes and dislikes.

Dislikes: The background characters aren’t given as much personality as they are on stage, or at least, aren’t shown as much personality; and with many of them taking on different designs, it’s hard to tell who’s who until you see the credits, where everyone’s named.  You only ever know a few of the main characters, their own stories, and that’s it.  Not even Munkustrap gets named directly, and he’s still got his role as the sort-of narrator and introduction to the world of the Jellicles.  Of course, this is probably a minor grudge, as background characters can’t be as prevalent in a movie version without it going on longer than needed.  But, at least they’re still there, and still lend their charm to the setting, and perhaps in subsequent watches I’ll be able to see more of who everyone is and what they’re doing.

Still, leaving characters in the background also means leaving various character relationships behind, save for the main ones.  Demeter, who in the stage show is still an ensemble character (but an important one for the subplot of Macavity), has been downgraded to another of many minor characters; Cassandra now mostly fills the role of a forefront ensemble singer, and nobody really seems to have anything that connects one to another emotionally.  Basically it was like the relationships common to many of the productions were ret-conned or tossed altogether; the focus is on the main characters.  But again, another minor grievance, as it is a movie, and a separate production, and no production is canon...and we still have our imaginations to go on. X3

Also, personally, I disliked that they made Bombalurina evil.  On stage, though she’s presented as the “good-bad girl”, attractive and seductive, she’s still a beloved part of the ensemble, friend to quite a few of the queens, and protective in a sisterly way over Demeter.  “Macavity” is meant as a duet with the two warning the others of his malevolent deeds; in the movie, she’s not seen until nearly the end, and the song is sung in praise of him while helping him bring the Ball to a halt.  It was a good number, though, and the different take on the character probably had to be there plot-wise...but still, IMHO the character deserves better.

Plus, it’s no wonder why Munkustrap was thought boring by his actor; they didn’t really give him his “protector” role.  The fight with Macavity is taken out entirely.  Again, Munk as a character also deserves better.

Also, Jennyanydots deserves better. X3 She’s presented as a comedy-relief character, and honestly I think they tried a little too hard with that, along with Bustopher Jones; both of their segments were a tad cringey to me...but theirs were the only ones, really.  The music in them was still superb, it was just the way they were presented.  They could have probably just stuck Bustopher with the comic-relief role (as he is somewhat in the stage show), and that would’ve been sufficient.

I believe those were my only grievances.  Now let’s get to what I liked.

THE MUSIC, first of all.  STILL awesome.  I feel like, really, the movie kept in what made the stage show important...and as with musicals, that was keeping the tones of the beloved songs, from the overture at the beginning all the way to The Ad-dressing of Cats.  That plus the impressive dancing.  I could still catch some little bits of choreography from the stage show in them, although mainly it was all revamped for the movie...but they kept the music, so that’s the biggest point (though some were edited down a bit to make time for dialogue; understandable, still).  Skimbleshanks’ number has to be the most impressive, by far.

Adding to this, the new song, Beautiful Ghosts, written together by Lloyd Webber and Taylor Swift.  Wow. You can tell they made a song that would really fit into the show...it’s haunting and sad, and yet hopeful, and the more I listen to it with Victoria’s story in mind, the more I tear up. It’s brilliant.

The story, I also liked.  I admit, it has to be hard to try and make a plot out of a musical that has a fairly bare-bones presentation to it, and is mostly comprised of songs adapted from a poetry book about cats.  There are many ways they probably could have taken the plot, but they did it very well, in my opinion; plus they still kept the most important events from the stage show: Grizabella’s redemption arc, and Macavity’s trying to derail things, straight down to kidnapping Old Deuteronomy and her being brought back through Mistofelees’ magic; I love how that bit was presented, too.  He and the others are expecting a grandiose magic return, and instead it’s off-screen and softly sung, and as the music swells from solemn to joyous, you know it’s just as magical all the same.

I knew that Growltiger would make an appearance in this, but I didn’t realize he’d be made his own character, when in the play, he’s a character that Gus the Theater Cat played in the past...only the first few lines of his song was sung, too.  But at least they kept his appearance from the play, down to the “somewhat-missing” ear. X3 That bit was clever, I liked it.

Also, Victoria and Mistofelees are adorable as heck in this one, can’t lie.  XD

Speaking of the characters, the casting too is pretty great.  Robert Fairchild, I could see actually playing Munkustrap on stage.  He has the same cadence and comforting tone of voice and is a lovely singer. Sir Ian Mckellan, I couldn’t see anyone else playing Gus (he even has a very similar voice to the original 1981 cast member)...and Taylor Swift did make a good Bombalu, if in appearance and voice. X3  And of course we can’t forget Francesca Hayward’s performance as Victoria; hope to see her career expand.  Dame Judi Dench made a very regal Deuteronomy (and yes, the thought of a female Deut has grown on me), and it’s good to see that she got to be in Cats, knowing her history.  And as predicted, Idris Elba made a pretty sinister Macavity. X3

So, all in all?

This movie probably gets so many negative reviews from the general public, because most of the general public has never seen the musical, and really don’t know what to make of the adaptation. X3 This is definitely not for anyone who doesn’t like musical theater, let alone Cats...I feel that the movie was only made with the true fans in mind.  And that’s just fine; not everything has to cater to the public at large, because if you try to do that, it’s not really a passion project. Cats has always been unique, and still is, and there are people out there who very much appreciate the hard work that has been put into it.  The sets are phenomenal.  The CGI could use work, but for an experimental style, it was done pretty well (yes, it’s possible to get past the uncanny-valley looks of the characters, at least it was for me, because they didn’t bother me in the first place).  It shows that they tried hard to stay true to the spirit of the stage show, while also putting something completely new into it.  And I think they nailed the spirit, which is the important thing in an adaptation: the spirit.

There’s a few things that could be changed, namely in presentation overall...they could have used another director, to be honest...but the casting, the music, the dancing...heck, some of the designs...that’s all good.  Actually it’s funny to me to observe how easy it is to make a musical-type movie into a stage show, a-la The Lion King, but how hard it is to do it the other way around. XP

Would I watch it again?  Heck yes.  Buy the DVD?  Heck yes (especially once they’ve put out the full version).  Does it hold up to other productions?  No, but I didn’t expect it to; it’s a movie.  They took all the essential things and rebuilt it, simple as that.

And so, overall, I give the movie a score of 3.5 out of 5.  It’s not my canon, but it’s still good, and you can ignore the hell out of the reviewers, they’re all plebs. XD

Thank you, my dears!

[redeadepression]

Hi there :)) can you write some domestic headcanons ab Arthur, John, and maybe Charles? The thought of domestic Arthur and John mmmmmm 👀👀👀

Mhmm yes, yes I can. Thanks for the awesome request!

Arthur Morgan | John Marston | Charles Smith | Domestic Headcanons | Gender-Neutral S/O

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m not sure how chores were divided in gay relationships back in 1800s when toxic-masculinity was running rampant and everyone wanted to be macho af. But I imagine if people were comfortable in their relationship things would fall in to place easily. So keeping in mind this is a set of gender-neutral headcanons, I don’t mean to make John seem chauvinistic. I just think regardless of his partner’s gender he would always try and take the more “traditional” husband role.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arthur:

Arthur is a firm believer in dividing responsibilities

He doesn’t see why you should have to do all the house chores

Just because he does some of the harder jobs

You work just as hard as him

He lives in the house too

He’s happy to help clean up

He’s happy to cook dinner

But he’s not very good

He will let you do the shitty jobs if you want to

But there is no pressure from him

He is perfectly happy to clean the outhouse 

Muck out the barn

He makes sure you always have everything you need

There’s no my money, your money

There’s your shared money

And you can spend in where you like

He hunts to make sure you always have food

Makes sure you have firewood

He likes to surprise you sometimes by doing the laundry

Although he’s not great at it

He’s happy to ride in to town

But you can go if you want

He likes to read or draw at night 

While you sit next to him and do your own thing

He enjoys the comfortable silence

But he isn’t opposed to hearing about your day

He likes to run you both a bath

But he doesn’t expect you to join him

He makes sure the bedroom is always a comfortable temperature for you

Even if it’s not right for himself

He knows you love your blankets

So he buys 2 and you hog them both

He isn’t big in to games

But he likes dominoes

Get’s excited if you suggest it

He teaches you to shoot and likes to watch you practise

Arthur wants a dog

Even though you say they’re messy

He takes real good care of it

Sometimes too good

You don’t like that he shares the bed with you both

Or sometimes eat better than you both as well

John:

John is pretty happy to do the “real work” around the house while you do the “house chores”

He likes to do the heavy lifting

The dirty work

The gross things

He’s happy to do all this because he knows when he gets back inside

You’ll have dinner on the table

He’ll have clean pyjamas

The floor will be swept

He doesn’t expect it

But he does his part

So he hopes you do yours

If you told him you had a problem with this arrangement he would be open to change

He’ll hear you out and suggest ways to improve things

Sometimes he does the house chores to surprise you

In the hopes of a little somethin’ somethin’

He’ll sweep

Or attempt to cook

To lighten your workload 

Even if it doesn’t end in sex he loves the look on your face when you realise

He’s a good husband

He tries to be considerate of the fact that he doesn’t do the cleaning

Wears the same clothes for several days to keep the washing light

Uses the same coffee cup every morning so you don’t have extra dishes

He makes sure you always have firewood and food

He cares for your horse and makes sure they’re always ready to ride

He’s happy to make a trip to town if you need something

He has no issue cleaning the outhouse

He cooks sometimes

But you beg him not to after you taste his food

He doesn’t really like games

But he’s a huge gossip

So please tell him about your day

He likes to chat at night in the parlour

He whittles or smokes a cigar

While you do your own thing and make conversation

He enjoys just being near you at night

It calms him down after a hard day

He always goes to bed when you do

No reason to stay up if you aren’t with him

He likes to snuggle even when he’s way too hot

John likes cats

But he doesn’t need one

Doesn’t stop him from bringing home that kitten he ‘found’ though

If you wanted a dog he’d go with it

Wouldn’t stop you

But he’s pretty neutral about them

Charles:

Charles is a mix of Arthur and John

He likes to take the more traditional husband role

But that doesn’t mean he won’t help around the house

Sometimes it’s nice to catch you mucking out the barn

He’ll thank you by doing the dishes

He’s happy to do the dirty jobs but he likes the change of pace

There never has to be a huge discussion about what’s to be done and by whom

Everything just seems to get done in your household

It runs very smoothly despite the lack of communication

He prefers to ride in to town

But he’s not opposed to the company

He also really likes to cook

His Mother taught him before she died

He gets excited to share recipes with you

Loves when you hunt to get the food you need

But prefers to do it himself

He makes sure you always have firewood

He actually likes doing that chore as it helps him let off steam

He’ll go to the river with you to help you do the laundry

He takes good care of the horses

He likes to heat you a nice bath after a long day

He knows you like to hog the covers and he doesn’t mind

He likes to get the chores out of the way early in the day

So you can spend the rest of your time doing things together

He teaches you to shoot a bow

Likes to watch you practise

He likes to play games in the parlour at night

Listen to the gramophone and watch you whittle/knit

He’s not a big talker

But you can talk about your day if you want

He doesn’t like pets

They seem unnecessary

But if you want one he’ll get one

He won’t stop you from spoiling it

But he puts his foot down at it sleeping on the bed

[thebeethathums]

Observers - 26

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Reader

Warnings: Insecurities and fears

A/N: Very long cab ride.

You practically tore apart your closet trying to find something appropriate for the weather that also fit Sherlock’s demands and came up empty-handed. Resigning yourself to hoping he didn’t want you to run around outside for very long, you picked a sleek black pencil skirt that hit you mid-thigh and an off white button down with a v neck that showed a tasteful amount of cleavage. You paired the simple outfit with a set of patent heels in a bright teal, a matching teal scarf, and warm aubergine purple cardigan. Having no idea how much time you had before he decided it was time to go, you dumped your make-up on the counter in an effort to find the berry colored lipstick you wanted.  It wasn’t an easy feat as you hadn’t been kidding when you said you were a lipstick junkie, poking through over twenty different shades of lipstick and a handful of glosses before you found the one you had in mind. You kept your make-up classic with a dusting of gold eye shadow and winged black liner across your lids with full lashes, all balanced with the strong opaque berry toned lipstick. You were just finishing pulling your hair up into an appropriate style with some strands falling around your face to soften it, when there was a loud thunk and then a knock on your door. You smirked- you may not have learned the first time, but Van Gogh be damned if he was going to fling your door open a third time without knocking. You went to unlock the door, fighting the urge to giggle as you put a hand on your hip, “Problem, Sherlock?” 

He narrowed his eyes at you as he rubbed at his shoulder where it had hit the door, “It was locked.” 

A small laugh escaped your lips, “Obviously. That’s why you knock.” Your words fell on deaf ears as his attention turned from the troubling state of your door to your appearance, his eyes trailing over your form from the floor up. He felt like his heart stopped beating for a minute and his mind momentarily short-circuited before kicking back up at breakneck speed to take in every single detail of your outfit and your legs and your curves and your… unamused expression.

“If you're quite done molesting me with your eyes, Sherlock, I’d like to get whatever this theory is tested and over with.” He gave you his own unamused look before turning to walk out of the flat, “You look... presentable.” You rolled your eyes, having caught the smile that he’d been trying to hide as he turned, and took a moment to look him over as you followed him out the door. It was hard to tell if he was dressed differently than he usually was because of his ever-present trench coat and scarf. Once the two of you were bundled into a cab, sitting across from each other, you looked out the window and wondered what this was all about. Sherlock had been very pleasant to you today. You assumed it was because he knew about the nightmare and his role in it and while nice it was a little disconcerting. He’d succeed in reassuring you that he would never lay a hand on you in that way but there was still the troubling matter of your painting. There was also this niggling fear that your ex would somehow know you’d not only started up your work again but that you had a strange quasi-relationship with your brother’s flatmate. You thought about what would happen if he did manage to find you, the punishment you’d receive, not realizing you were holding your breath until your vision blurred and you sucked in a sharp gulp of air to compensate. You cursed yourself, knowing that Sherlock definitely noticed that, and prayed he wouldn’t push anything because you weren’t in the mood to indulge him in his deductions, especially when it came to this. You took a slow deep breath and went over color theory and cross-hatching techniques in your head to keep your thoughts from wandering dangerously into memories or imagined scenarios, hoping to reassure your subconscious that that part of your life was over now. Sherlock opted to look at you instead of out the window as you were. The last time he’d seen you in anything other than a jumper and jeans was when you’d gone out after the unfortunate mug incident. He was beginning to think an obsession with jumpers was something that ran in your family, as both you and John seemed to have an unending supply. This time he could take in your attire with a little more interest than the first time as he’d been in denial then. It was always fascinating to him that just a change of clothes and appropriate make-up could make most men see a woman in an entirely different light. Up till now, he couldn’t understand it; he still didn’t to an extent… it was so base. A change in appearance could hardly change if they were terribly dull or not, so the new attraction was purely physical. Considering this when he looked you over, he found that maybe when one was already content with another’s intelligence and personality the addition of enhanced physical attraction was much more enjoyable and at the very least interesting. His gaze seemed to have a mind of its own, finding your legs, lips, and chest more often than he was even aware of, and he couldn’t seem to stop chewing on the inside of his lower lip. Internally he was much the same, his heart seemed to vary in rates from dangerously slow to treacherously fast and his mind was conjuring up some very interesting images. This was by far his most complex experiment involving you and the results were already fascinating. 

He was so busy observing himself that he almost missed the pained expression flash across your face before you took an audible and fast breath of air. Almost. 

Looking you over, he came to the realization that you were very good at hiding your thoughts from him. Sure he could easily read you- what you had done during the day, how you were feeling, things like that- but what actually went through your mind was somewhat of a mystery to him. Normally he didn’t care, you gave him clues in your actions so he didn’t feel the need to know, but now you were sitting, unmoving, with your face showing only the slightest signs of being troubled and he was frustrated. Something had upset you, that much was obvious, but what. His mind started to race to find an answer, using clues from earlier that day to come to a tentative conclusion: you were thinking about your ex. He moved to sit next to you, causing you to turn from the window to look at him, “Yes, Sherlock?” “Tell me.” You sighed, “There’s nothing to tell.” “There is. Don’t lie.” You chewed at the edge of your lip and looked back out the window in an effort to ignore him that was quickly thwarted when he wove his fingers between yours, making you snap back around to look at him. He was unfazed and caught you in his intense gaze, locking your eyes with his so there was no chance of escape, “Tell me.” Your voice came out soft and unsure, “What if he finds me?” You tore yourself away from his intrusive stare, “I know it’s irrational- the odds of him finding me are low- but if he did… there are so many things he would punish me for.” Sherlock’s grip on your hand tightened, “John would never allow it.” 

He would never allow it. You didn’t respond, looking out the window again pensively, you knew he was right but in truth that was part of your fear, something could happen to John if it ever came to that. He could end up hurt or in jail because of you. It was a rather terrifying thought. Sherlock frowned at the back of your head, he wanted you to feel safe so you could go back to your normal habits instead of living by that man’s rules in anticipation of his return to your life. He even briefly wondered if Mycroft had any pull in France, maybe he would agree to put him in jail so you wouldn’t have to live with the uncertainty.

He was lost in his thoughts, coming up with and then dismissing various options, when you squeezed his hand and he turned to look at you in response. Surprisingly there was a smile on your face, “You’re cute when you fret.” “I'm not fretting.” he denied firmly. You just gave a knowing closed-lip smile and a small hum of amusement before looking out the window again as he scowled at you. How did you do that? How did you see these things? You weren’t supposed to know he was fretting, much less think it was cute. Sherlock Holmes, the world's only consulting detective, was anything but cute. Handsome, intelligent, arrogant, and cheeky- among other things- but certainly not cute. What did you think he was? Some sort of overgrown kitten? You giggled, drawing him from his thoughts again, and he realized he’d been making a face, which was no doubt the cause of said giggling. He opened his mouth to say something to put an end to your small bout of mirthful laughter but then thought better of it, it was far better than the worry you’d been wrapped up in just moments before even if it was at his expense.

TAGS <3:

@team-free-sherlock

[vmorck]

Stalker. [Prologue]

You’re a stylist on BTS’ next world tour but the sexual tension between you and Jungkook is getting bigger. Will you let the feelings grow and risk your job for him?

Word count: 2k

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff (other chapters may contain smut and angst)

With a huge pile of various clothes and accessories in your hands, you were running around barely able to see anything. The garments almost completely covered the view in front of you, so each step was a risk as you were in hurry. You just hoped you wouldn’t fall over with all those things and be entertainment for people who were in the room with you. Actually, it almost happened twice but each time you somehow kept your balance. Finally, you got to your destination and put the clothes on a big leather sofa, exhaling loudly as your breath became heavier and little drops of sweat formed on your forehead. The merciless back pain was getting stronger with each hour of carrying items from place to place, without any single minute of break. Everybody was stressed out nowadays due to an upcoming tour of a popular band from the company. The pressure of passing time hung in the air, making everyone go crazy, running around without knowing what they should do first. There was still so much work to do, so all of you had to stay until late hours to prepare as much as you could. And you’d already been doing so for over a week. Still, it looked like nothing had been done yet.

When you were standing there staring blankly over the garments you brought, abruptly a middle-aged woman appeared next to you. She was one of the main stylists in the company which meant she had loads of stuff to manage. The tiredness was clearly painted on her face in the form of dark circles under her brown eyes but she tried to cover it with a huge smile. “Y/n! Are you ready for your first tour?” she asked brushing slowly her powder pink hair out of her pretty face as she glanced at you. “I guess so...”

You started a job as a stylist in this music company only six months ago and now you were supposed to be a part of the staff on the world tour of one of the most famous Korean bands. That was a huge chance for you and your future career so you were even more scared of fucking it all up. Even though you were doing pretty well so far, with your lucky ass it couldn’t go that well for too long. During the tour, you were supposed to work just as a stylist’s assistant since the management didn’t trust you enough to give you a more responsible role but the pressure was still huge and the stress was eating you up. On the other hand, you were so glad for the opportunity because you would be able to gain much more experience than if you’d stayed in the country and work only when there were music shows.

Besides, you’ve already been working with the band before and they were great guys who always knew how to make you – and the others from the staff – laugh so the thought of working with them calmed down your trembling soul a little bit. The fact that you all were in similar age made you feel comfortable around each other and in a short time, your relationship went on a friends level. Especially with the youngest of them, named Jungkook. You both were getting on pretty well.

The next two weeks passed so fast and before you even realized the tour had been started. You were on your way to the place of the concert while the band had already been there for hours, practicing before the show. It was still unbelievable that you were going to be a part of all that. Besides the experience, you’ll see many new places, which was always something unreachable for a person like you. It doesn’t matter that you probably won’t have time for sightseeing. The fact that your feet would touch the ground of those places was enough for you to be delighted. However, before you’d go to the world, the first two concerts were going to happen in your country, in Seoul on a big baseball stadium. When you finally got there, after standing in a traffic jam for definitely too long, your breath was literally taken away at the sight of the building which was way bigger than you imagined. Just looking at this made you realize how huge popularity of the band was. But yet, it's not the only thing which showed you their popularity. Another one was the enormous amount of people waiting to see them, barely letting you drive, thus parking the car took you probably more time than going there from home itself.

Eventually, you got out of the car and found your way to a dressing-room where the staff were already running around the boys preparing them for the show and making them look like real gods. The moment you entered, you were immediately asked for help so without even looking, you throw your stuff away and ran to one of the stylists who was calling you. A tall man with bleached, quite long hair tied in the back was standing there with a good-looking guy who was a part of the band, giving him clothes and telling something which wasn’t audible to you due to the confusion in the room. When you got closer and joined them, the stylist just told you to help the guy and after that quickly backed away. Your eyes reached those big, brown ones as you smiled at him. Jungkook, because that was the guy who you were supposed to prepare for the show, smiled back at you.

“I’m really nervous these days so don’t blame me for stupid mistakes,” you warned as you looked at all the stage clothes and accessories wondering where should you start. “Hm…”

“Don’t worry, first of all, undress me and then we’ll see what next,” he said with the smirk on his pretty face sounding very serious but you saw his eyes were laughing as he had so much fun playing with you like that.

“Better shut up or I’ll make sure you won’t be able to have kids in the future,” the innocent smile appeared on your face before you threw the stage costume at him. “Wear this,” you turned yourself back to give him some privacy as he was changing. The real reason for this movement was hiding your red cheeks from his view, which got this colour as you imagined how great it would be to undress him.

You couldn’t deny you had a crush on Jungkook. It started the first day you saw him. In the beginning, you just thought that he had a hot body and that’s it but the more you knew him the more you liked him. And it went to the point that you couldn’t stop thinking about him. However, you were also aware that Jungkook was way out of your league and you couldn’t do anything about it. So the only thing left was just hiding your feelings with the hope that eventually they’ll fade away. It was also the best choice for your work life. If anybody from the management knew about your feelings, they would fire you as soon as it would be possible.

“I thought you want to have kids,” he began so you turned your face in his direction. Your gaze met his shirtless body.

“Huh?” you didn’t understand what he meant by those words.

“You said that you’ll make sure I won’t be able to have children. Then how would I impregnate you, kitten?”

He did that again. He always played this game, acting like you’re a couple or something and calling you all those pet names. You had a hard time being in his company and he had to make it all harder. Sometimes you wondered if he found out that you’re attracted to him and did it all on purpose.

“Hola boy, you’re not the only dick on this planet who can impregnate me!”

“But you wish it was me, don’t you?”

“Isn’t your ego too big?” you asked instead, avoiding answering his question.

“Not at all,” he smiled happily as he put a black shirt on, finally hiding his well-built chest from your view. Thankfully. It was hard to pretend you didn’t care when he was standing there, in front of you, like the best dessert you could ever imagine. With the sweetest cherry on the top. However, you forgot that he also had to change his pants and you realized it when his hand wandered to the waistband of his grey sweatpants with the intention of pulling them down. The blood rushed up to your cheeks once again as you bit on your lower lip trying to control the emotions. You tried to look unmoved as best as you could but you were sure he saw your nervousness because his lips curved into a smug smile. The murderous gaze you gave him didn’t change anything so you just sighed and with tiredness painted on your face you looked at him, your eyes were following his movements, not wanting to look away anymore. His body was so hot, you couldn’t even deny as you saw his muscles flexing under a black shirt. Without realizing you licked your lower lip slowly following his every movement. Finally, he pulled up black jeans and his pretty, veiny hand reached for a leather brown belt. But suddenly the guy stopped his action thinking about something for a short second. Then he looked at you with a suspicious gleam in his eye and smirk painted on his face. “Why are you just standing there? Weren’t you supposed to help me?”  you gave him a surprised look. “Come on, you need to put the belt on me… My hands are sweaty and stuff… and besides that, I’m too tired to do it myself. It’s gonna take so much time for me and we’re kinda in hurry, aren’t we?” he was saying bullshits and with each word your eyes were getting bigger with disbelief.

“You’re such a bad liar, Jeon Jungkook. You know how people call it? Sexual harassment. Do you wanna go to jail?”

“You wouldn’t sue me, babe. You love me too much to do it,” his smile got so big that you couldn’t keep a serious face anymore. Your heart was literally melting as you saw him like this. Actually, not only like this. Your heart was melting every time you saw him.

“Ugh I really, really hate you, Jeon Jungkook”

“I didn’t know I would say it but it’s quite a turn on when you’re calling me by my full name.”

“Shut the fuck up, please.”

“That’s funny how you used please after this disrespecting sentence,” he started to giggle and the butterflies in your stomach woke up.

“Ugh just give me that belt,” you growled taking the thing from his hand. When you stood like this, centimetres apart, feeling a nice scent of his skin, as fast as possible you started to put the garment on, hoping that he wouldn’t see your hands shaking. But he saw. He realized it when you struggled with putting the belt on. Jungkook chuckled quietly but loud enough for you to hear it. “Shut up, I said,” you hissed at him finally finishing the action and looking into his eyes. Those. Fucking. Beautiful. Eyes. “It’s a pleasure to work with you. Such a helpful girl you are,” he bowed down playfully. After that, you helped him with choosing the right accessories and then he went with the other six guys on the stage. Your heart finally stopped beating so fast.

During the breaks between performances, you barely had time to breathe. Everyone was in a rush redoing the artists’ makeup and helping them with changing clothes. Differently, than before, there was even less time for that so you all were literally running to get them ready on time. You didn’t have more opportunities to talk to Jungkook on that day, and the day after during the second - and the last - concert in the country.

[flyingthehedge]

Seeking Your Animal Guides + My Animal Guides

After you have successfully traveled to the Otherworld, the next step is to seek your animal guides. These are the beings in animal form that will help guide you in your travels and aid in your healing and growth as a hedgewitch. Some hedgewitches consider their animal guides to be their familiars. This is a perfectly acceptable viewpoint, especially if you do not have a familiar within our realm like myself. I have three beautiful cats, but none of them are familiars, at least not yet. The verdict is still out on little Charlie as he is still a kitten and hasn't reached maturity yet. But I digress.

Animal guides sometimes referred to as a power animal or totem, come in many shapes and forms and can change over the lifetime of the witch. They can be birds, fish, insects, or mammals, but in general, they are wild animals, not a domesticated pet. However, it is not unheard of for a hedgewitch to have a dog or cat as their animal guide, but it is uncommon. Furthermore, it not unheard of for a mythical creature to be your animal guide, but again, this is rare because you animal guide will often appear within our realm to guide and assist you, and mythical creatures have a hard time passing successfully into our world.

Some say you choose the animal guide, but I have found that 99.99% of the time, the animal guide chooses you. Furthermore, an affinity toward an animal does not necessarily mean that particular animal is your animal guide. For example, my favorite animal is the maned wolf, but I haven't seen it show up as an animal guide, at least not yet. You may think your animal guide is a bear, wolf, or eagle (which most people tend to think because they associate animal guides with Native American culture), but your guide or guides may very well be a turtle, clownfish, ox, or rabbit.

What is an Animal Guide?

So what is the role of an animal guide?

1. They are our trusted friends. Your animal guides are there for you to lean on whenever you need them. They are there to help you answer questions, aid in magical workings, give you confidence, and stand by your side, no matter what you do because that's what friends are for.

2. They are our guides, NOT our controllers. You animal guide will never intervene unless your life is in danger or you ask for assistance. They are not self-seeking. Their role is that of a mentor; to advise and suggest based on their lifetime of experience.

3. They are our escorts in the Otherworld. Your animal guide acts as a travel guide through the Otherworld, keeping you safe in the process.

4. They are conduits; they help aid and direct our energies and channel the energies of the Otherworld so we may effectively see them. When you finally travel to the Upper Realm, your guides will help bring this realm into focus for you. Those beings operate on a much higher frequency so your animal guide will act as a mediator or translator to bring the picture into view for you.

5. They are our bodyguards. This is probably the most important role outside of being a mentor. Your animal guides will protect you, both in and out of our realm, from harm as much as they possibly can. There are hidden dangers in the Otherworld and it is imperative you not travel alone. However, that doesn't mean your animal guides won't allow you to suffer hardship; quite the contrary. Your guides will ensure your experience hardship, but only is it has something to teach us.

6. They are our caretakers, working to heal us, cleanse us of negativity, and even help to heal physical ailments. For personal experience, there is nothing that makes me feel better after suffering a bought of anxiety or depression quite like visiting my animal guides.

7. They are our instructors. Your guides are there to act as a teacher, not just a mentor offering advice. They will provide you with opportunities to grow as a hedgewitch and person, in a semi-controlled fashion. They will share knowledge and wisdom with you freely, although sometimes cryptic. If they do not know the answer, they will tell you so, but guide you down the right path to find the answers you seek.

Your animal guide is NOT:

a dictator

a slave or servant

a genie

a god

evil, self-seeking, or otherwise harmful to you

Our relationships with our animal guides should be treasured and nurtured, just like friendships within our realm.

Meeting Your Animal Guides

Meeting your animal guides for the first time can be quite simple, however, there will be times animal guides appear to you when you are not actively seeking them. Your animal guides reside in the Lower Realm, so this is where you will have to travel. If you happen to meet an animal outside of the Lower Realm, be cautious. They are likely not an animal guide, but on some off chance they are, they will appear to you in the Lower Realm another time. To meet your animal guides for the first time, set your intention for your journey as follows: "I will journey to the Lower World to meet my animal guide. I ask that may animal guide be waiting for me when I arrive at the Lower World."

The first time you do this, you may not meet your guides. It could take a couple tries to get their attention, especially if you are new to hedge riding. You may notice that your animal guides change with you. That's okay. The animal guides you have today may not be the guides you need in 10 years. You will also likely have more than one, each to teach you a different lesson. Be open and accepting of what they have to teach you.

My Animal Guides

I have briefly mentioned my animal guides before, but I figured I would give a more detailed description of them in this post, with their blessings of course. I have two guides: a female red fox named Meka, and a male raven named Rocar.

Meka is by far the guide that shows up the most. She is kind, loving, playful, and wise beyond her years. She is very motherly and extremely patient with me. Meka is often my transportation through the realms and has accompanied me on soul retrievals, chord cuttings, and general journies. Whenever I meet her, she greets me like a playful puppy, bouncing around as if its the first time she has seen me. It's a wonderful feeling to be with her; just thinking about her calms my anxiety and fills my heart with love. My favorite thing to do is lie with her in my Garden within the Middle Realm and stare up at the clouds. It's the most peaceful thing imaginable.

Rocar, on the other hand, is a completely different beast. He is loud, rude, obnoxious, and extremely sarcastic. He likes to pick at my hair and face and completely lacks the patience and grace of Meka. He likes to pick on Meka too, often diving down to peck her while we are together, then flying off laughing in a way only a raven can. But Rocar is a wonderful teacher and a reflection of myself. I too am loud, rude, obnoxious, and extremely sarcastic. Whenever I wonder what I am doing wrong, Rocar is there to be blunt and matter-of-fact. His lessons are hard-hitting but valuable. While Meka likes to avoid hurting me, Rocar knows that sometimes pain is the greatest teacher and he isn't afraid to use it on me.

At this point in my life, these are the guides I desperately need. Between my feelings of self-doubt and unworthiness, my divorce last year, and the financial and health struggles I have endured, I need someone to love me unconditionally and someone to smack some sense in me at the same time. You will find that your animal guides are there to meet your needs right now, in this phase of your life. Sometimes they are not the guide we want, but the guide we need. It is my greatest hope for you as a hedgewitch that you connect with your animal guides in a way that transforms your life. I cannot express enough how important your animal guides are to your growth and success and I sincerely hope that your experience is as magical as mine.

Interest in the rest of the series? Make sure to keep an eye out for upcoming posts!

Hedge Riding Series

What is Hedge Riding?

Realms of the Otherworld

Focusing the Mind: Getting Ready to Ride

Preparation + Hedge Riding Sachet

Hedge Riding Etiquette: Do's and Don't's of Interacting with Spirits

Hedge Riding Safety Tips: Staying Safe Outside Our Realm

How to Hedge Ride + Flying Ointments

Seeking Your Animal Guides + My Animal Guides

Developing a Relationship With Your Spirit Companions

After You Hedge Ride: Coming Back to Earth

My Hedge Riding Experiences

Looking for more information on hedge witches? Check out my posts on the topic:

What is a Hedgewitch?

Hedgewitch vs Kitchen Witch

Meditation, Pathwalking, and Hedge Riding: Making Sense of It All

[ofhowls]

WANTED CONNECTIONS ! below you’ll find a list of wanted connections, please fill them before i commit sewer-side. if you wanna talk, you wanna discuss – send me a message on discord ( jayden#7437 ) ! okay, that’s all.

alvarez, odette – quick summary: twenty-nine, cancer, has a daughter ( ava: played by lane ), engaged ( nicolas: played by pj ), is a florist because life’s a joke, kind of hot-headed, has a messy past we don’t talk about, would beat someone up 10/10, don’t test her, drives an ugly pick-up truck ( bella’s from twilight, don’t ask ) and owns a fluffy kitten named mango. 

plot one – mother: long story short, her mom was around 16 when she had her ( would now be in her mid 40′s ), was a prostitute who didn’t care and was all around a trash human being. odette moved into foster homes before she turned 6 and she was in and out of them throughout her entire childhood. when odette had ava, however, she moved back in. and their relationship turned messier real fast. she moved back out at eighteen and has been staying away from her mom ever since. her mom only ever contacts her for money, she’s that bitch. fc could be salma hayek, but any mexican fc in that age range is a1.

plot two – sister from another mister: odette lived on the street in her teens, often running away from foster homes because they were GROSS. i want someone from her past in sheffield. i really, really want their relationship to have been like them kiddos in the movie thirteen ( 2003 ), you know? like hella ride or die but also toxic af. fc doesn’t matter but white people are gross so a person of colour, mayhaps? they’d be either her age or older, and obviously a womf because she hates men.

* NEW ! plot three – butler: look, she’s marrying rich and i’ve already established that she’s best buds with the butler. he’s old, he’s nice, they’re just having a good time together. all that i know about him is … just that, cool! he’s worked with the talbots for ages so, you get like +3484 plots with this one. do it, i beg of you. jeremy irons is a snack and so is jeff goldblum. think about it. 

apolskis, julian – quick summary: twenty, leo, has had cancer come and go since he was 10, is a bit of an asshole, its a defence mechanism though, lost his leg a year ago, has a sister ( kitty: played by lane ), currently dating ( micah: played by patty ), is in a band, plays drums, has a deadbeat dad that his mom sends fake happy bday cards from. 

plot one – father: basically, back in the good old days ( about 11 years ago ), julian and his family lived in seattle. living their best life. and then, he got diagnosed with cancer. in came the bills and his father split. he’s been out of their lives ever since, not really giving a hot diddly darn about his son – or the rest of the family, not that i care about them. he’d be in his mid 40′s or older by now. any white male fc would work but hugh dancy is dear to me. 

* NEW ! plot two – hospital buddy: give me a friend for this motherfricker, okay? someone who might be sick, too. someone who’s been at the hospital with him, someone who knows that struggle of DYING. you feel me? this person can literally be 80 years old, i don’t care! as long as they’ve spent some time in care with my boy, maybe even roomed with him, it’s all good.

atkins, scarlett – quick summary: nineteen, gemini, mother’s a dead socialite, father is an alive asshole, used to smang her step-brother ( milo: played by pj ) before he ditched her, was kind of the queen bee before she ghosted on all her “friends” for a fancy college, got kicked out of said college for an adderall addiction, is now at rock bottom and forced to hang with the losers, super manipulative and selfish, kind of got a rough exterior. 

plot one – old friend: i really want someone who used to be friends with her either before she became miss popular or before they graduated. either way, she would’ve ditched them for bigger and better. i want beef, i want dramas – i want this bitch to suffer. before she hung with the it crowd she was a freaking mathlete, so don’t you forget it. honestly, cady heron is SHAKING. i say as i stole it from lindsay weir, whatever. she was also a cheerleader in her later years, if that helps. i’m very cliche. they’d be like nineteen, and preferably a womf but i’m not picky. 

* NEW ! plot two – father: all you gotta know about ray atkins, is that he’s garbage. he’s a rich bitch, the richest damn dude in town, and he cares approximately NOT AT ALL about his daughter. he’s constantly going back and forth between pushing her to achieve things and not acknowledging her presence. it’s a hard knock life. rape tw // there was also an instance where scout experienced assault at a party and he blamed her for drinking, so … not the nicest. on top of that, he doesn’t allow scout to speak french in the house ( her mother was french, uwu ), and that’s MEAN. anyways, any white/puerto rican man in his 40′s and up will work. 

baek, wolfgang – quick summary: thirty-five, capricorn, loves horror films and has made quite a few, dad is a famous director ( bigger in korea than the states ), has triplets because his dick is that powerful, went from mr. friend zone to mr. i’m sorry i gave you three babies at once, sort-of-dating ( ziba: played by patty ) really talkative and amazing, works at blockbuster because that’ll support a family, am i right, lads?

plot one – work pal: he’s at work a lot, ok? and he needs friends. it’s a win/win. i need someone for him to do stupid work stuff with, make working a fun experience! i want a squad like in chuck, you know? if you don’t know what i’m talking about then superstore, if you still don’t know what i’m talking about then why are you still here? age don’t matter but i would prefer if they were close in age. gender, who cares. bye.

plot two – partner in crime: basically, he makes a lot of indie flicks. he actually only moved to sheffield to work on a screenplay but… it’s been a while. i need someone who makes movies with him, though. a co-director or someone he keeps casting as the lead because bros, ok? once again, preferably close in age, gender doesn’t matter.

* NEW ! plot three – cousin: i mean, hewwo? most of his extended family is back in korea, but – but – i could imagine his aunt or uncle would’ve moved to the us shortly after his parents did. so, a cousin would be neat! someone his age, someone he can talk to about childhood stuff, someone who understands his unspoken rivalry with his father, someone to babysit his kids. they would’ve lived in florida after moving to the us, thirty and up and preferably a dude. i like dudes. but a woman would work as well. not to mention, half or fully korean!

bellefleur, kipling – quick summary: forty-eight, capricorn, born and raised in louisiana, has two kids he don’t know about ( lucia: played by britt, jude: played by patty ), a cop at the police station, lives alone with no pets because god hates him, got a partner ( elliot: played by lane ) but not in the gay way, unfortunately heterosexual, kinda grumpy, kinda just annoyingly white. 

* NEW ! plot one – hook-up: kip is a sexual being, believe it or not! and sometimes, a mans need a nut bust. he’s a great lover, i swear. but he’s not a great mans when it comes to the romantics. he does have two kids he don’t know of, after all. just give me someone he visits late at night, ignores in public and have fake deep convos with whilst sharing a cigarette in bed. really painting a picture here, aren’t i? unlike other fathers in this town, he has no interest in sleeping with someone his child’s age, so –– thirties and up!

cheung, beatrice – quick summary: twenty-five, aries, middle school teacher, a big fucking lesbian, dating ( kaylee: played by patty )super sociable and outgoing, literally loves partying and hanging out with the youths, self-proclaimed big sister to just about every teen out there, works part-time as a waitress at the diner, used to be engaged but we don’t talk about that, foster kid with no connection to blood-related family. 

plot one – coworker: someone at the diner! just someone to have her back, to gossip with, to hang out with after shifts, to just be gal pals with, you know? she needs more gal pals. i love throwing movie references in there, but – think whiplash with ellen page. that kind of aesthetic, that kinda shit. from mid to late twenties, a woman because i don’t care for men. 

plot two – pseudo-sibling: i want her to really play the big sister role with someone! have a little baby she can pass all her heaux wisdom down on. just a wee bean that she considers a little sibling of sorts. she could even house them for a bit since she’s back to living alone! they’d have to be in their teens and gender, once again, does not matter!

* NEW ! plot three – foster sibling: she already has like fifteen, so give her another. tris is probably the youngest among the bunch and owen ( played by fanny ) is somewhere in the middle. it’s just a nice jewish household that fostered a lot kids, cool? any fc, any ethnicity, any gender! just older than twenty-five, is all i’m asking. neat, thank you for coming to my ted talk. 

cowell, stefan – quick summary: twenty-nine, scorpio, construction worker, married ( lumen: played by pj ), got a little sister who he always fights with ( arella: played by kt, whenever she returns to us ), hates dogs, kind of a prick, a huge prick actually, sort of running from the law but like on the low-key, always 100% done with just about everyone’s shit. 

plot one – work buddy: like i said, he works construction. and i want him to have one friend. like a singular friend. someone to grab a beer with, someone who he doesn’t wanna strangle. it’ll be a miracle but it’s a miracle i deserve damnit. they’d have to be in their late twenties or older, a dude and any fc. 

plot two – neighbour: it sounds like a basic plot, but i promise you – it’s worth it! i want him to have a god damn family feud plot going on, okay? i want them to fight, i want neighbours ( 2013 ) as a plot on tumblr dot com. i want him to hate them and i want them to hate him. fc don’t matter! gender don’t matter! preferably around his age or older, though. 

halonen, oliver – quick summary: thirty, aquarius, part-time mechanic, part-time bartender ( think coyote ugly because that’s hot ), used to be engaged ( marty: played by tasha ), got a fake daughter ( pauline: played by pj ), has some slight drug issues she’s working out atm, also her dad’s back from the dead ( uriah: played by lane ), she’s super nice and cute and you should all love her sarcastic ass. 

plot one – work friend: i feel like i just want everyone to have coworkers, but listen… i genuinely just do. either someone that works as a mechanic alongside her or another bartender who sometimes uses their bod for tips, it’s all good. i want her to have one friend her own god damn age, you know? they’d have to be a gal because men are smelly. age would be around her own and that’s it!

plot two – dealer: listen… drugs come from somewhere. and even if she’s not currently using, i’d love for her to have that dynamic. maybe she owes them money, we can make it hella messy or we can make them chill pals, idc! i just need her dealer her and i need them to push some drugs. plus it’s a buy one get one for free type of deal ( see my plots for ed further down ). i want them to be a little older than herself but other than that it’s free for interpretation. 

* NEW ! plot three – drug bud: this bitch is from texas and this bitch did a lot of drugs in texas. she spent her early twenties high as fuck, overdosed at 24 and then got clean. legend? yes. she’s got a lot of good influences, aside from one particular asshole, and i just want her to be more pulled into old habits! let her have some friends from her old life of criminality and drugs come to sheffield and shake things up. any fc and gender, though they’d have to be in their 30′s!

hodgins, nathaniel – quick summary: twenty-one, gemini, works as chef at the pub, skipped college to help his mama with the bills, got a cutie-patootie golden retriever, dad is in prison after a drunk driving accident that killed a 10 year old, moved to sheffield a few years ago for a fresh start, a big ass home of sexual, has a crush on a comp het ( vince: played by pj ), loves his mother more than anything, only child, conceals trauma with humour and bad puns. 

* NEW ! plot one – ex-something: now, i’m not saying they dated. i’m saying they hooked up and it never lead anywhere. it can be angsty, it can be fine, it can be a garbage fire. we can work out the details whenever, i’m cool like that. any fc and any gender, though preferably in their early twenties!

holstad, damian – quick summary: eighteen, aries, the biggest fuccboi you’ve ever laid your eyes upon, fucked your girlfriend ( and he meant it ), brother to the biggest loser in town ( lou: played by tasha ), parties every weekend, best friends with the second biggest fuccboi in town ( artemus: played by nico ), kinda soft but he won't ever let you know that, has a crush on his brother’s bff ( pauline: played by pj ).

plot one – ex-girlfriend: it’s simply unrealistic that he hasn’t dated at least one of the fifty bazillion girls he’s smanged. now, it’s probable they didn’t last more than a few months but its still a plot I NEED. she’d be either a junior or senior in high school right now. so, either graduating now or next year. face claim don’t matter. it’s possible he cheated, he’s an asshole like that.

* NEW ! plot two – more fuccpeople: at this point, i’m collecting them. there are a bunch of fuccbois in damian’s life right now, and i need there to be more. there needs to be a whole fracking pack of them. just running around town, smanging ladies and taking names. could’ve played football with him, could’ve graduated with him, could’ve just lived next door – i dunno! around eighteen… a boy, or a girl! fuccgirls are VALID too. 

kinney, sawyer – quick summary: twenty, sagittarius, volunteers at animal shelter, studying to become a vet, loves animals more than she’ll ever love a man, has a rescued bunny named waffles, her parents died in a car-crash we don’t talk about it, has a younger brother ( grayson: played by patty ), soccer is her life, also wanna fuck the soccer coach ( elliot: played by lane ), her first ‘kiss’ was a dare at age 5 with her cousin ( holden: played by pj ) for an ice cream, did i mention she loves animals, takes virginities for charity, happened once but i demand its a thing now, boinking mr edgelord ( quentin: played by pj ).

plot one – team mates: soccer is cool! soccer is for champions! she’s currently the team captain of the local all-girls soccer team, i know – such a title. and i want her to have more of a team. so gather up your gals in their late teens to early twenties and kick some balls around!

plot two – ex-boyfriend: before she swiped virginities and had sex with boys who love serial killers, she probably had a steady boyfriend. kind of a puppy-love-they’ll-probably-get-married-straight-out-of-high-school relationship, you know? they probably broke up because they were way too young and it was more of an availability thing rather than genuine attachment. does that make sense? it’s a small town! their parents probably loved their child’s respective partner than they loved each other. 20-22, any boy of any fc i’m not picky.

* NEW ! plot three – enemy: it’s a hard plot to ask for, but i request you hear me out. she never fights with anyone. she’s SO NICE. a walking mary sue, i swear. and she’s just friends with everyone. it’s boring! give me someone that gets under her skin! someone for her to absolutely fucking hate! for no reason or for a reason, idk! around twenty-one, any gender.

larsen, margaret – quick summary: forty-two, libra, has one terrible son ( teddy: played by lane ), though she loves him more than anything, left the country because she was a hoe, mortician, got knocked up by her professor that one time, kind of boinking her son’s bandmate ( holden: played by pj ), doing her best all the time but keeps on making mistakes, the biggest mama-bear you’ll ever stumble upon. 

plot one – ex-hook-up: listen, she left the states to study in the uk – mostly to get away from her parents – but also because she had a bit of a reputation. like, a really bad one. so if you have a character, or want to play a character, that grew up in sheffield and are in their forties… wink wonk. that’s it. that’s the plot. 

* NEW ! plot two – hater, hater: peggy was a skank in her youth, okay? she was a downright slut and she probably rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. she most likely still does! so, i want some judgmental hoes up in this bitch. i want them to bicker and i want it to be very small-town-desperate-housewives-esque. any lady. preferably around her age range, would’ve lived in sheffield all her life.

* NEW ! plot three – best friend: peggy only ever speaks to kids, it’s weird. give her. bud, and like i said above… desperate housewives is a fucking neat ass show. they can drink wine and they can gossip and they can judge her for the people she’s sleeping with. or, well, person. any woman in her 40′s, please and thank.

mullin, casper – quick summary: fifteen, aries, fucking love aliens, the government is lying to y’all, has got a whole ass squad of friends, kinda gay for one of them ( eli: played by pj ), kinda intimidated by another ( ava: played by lane ), if it wasn't obvious he’s a gay, has a pupper that means the world to him, always investigates creepy shit because he is that white person.

plot one – disgraced nuclear physicist: you heard me. basically just the plot of back to the future. someone a bit ( a lot ) older than casper himself that kinda takes him under their wing. they’re as nutty as him when it comes to conspiracy theories, and maybe they feed his ideas and stuff when it comes to the shit going on in town. please and thank you. 

pearce, minoo – quick summary: twenty-one, aquarius, the biggest of edgelords, expert in stick n poke tattoos, hates her family, loves their big ass dog, a military brat, skated pretty much everywhere because she’s a walking cliche, not anymore though cause her bff broke it ( vince: played by pj ), invented grunge, would kill herself for the lead singer of zero boys, wants her mom to die ( rachel: played by lane ), wants the cop who's trying to get in her pants to die even more ( sera: played by tasha ), almost dropped out of high school fifty times but i forgot to make it canon. 

* NEW ! plot one – enemy: i love enemies. anyways, mj is a fucking bitch. she’s so edgy, she’s not like other girls, and she definitely would end up in a fight with just about anybody. there’s no way in HECK there aren’t people in town who hate her guts. they could’ve gone to college with her, they could’ve gone to high school with her, i dunno! i just want her to FIGHT. preferably a girl, preferably in her age range. 

oswalt, kevin – quick summary: nineteen, virgo, had the most tumultuous of childhoods involving both kidnapping and murder, she doesn’t talk about it, has sort-of-a-boyfriend ( jamie: played by pj ), and a definitely best friend ( pippa: played by lane ), currently living with her father ( dalton: played by britt ) without the knowledge that she’s his daughter, her life is messy, she likes books and writing, thinks sheffield is kinda fascinating, the biggest of nerds, kinda awkward but we forgive her. 

plot one – brother: we already have her father, mother ( marion: played by nesh ), and two sisters ( lila: played by luna, and hazel: played by fanny ), and now all that’s missing is the second youngest kid! he’d be like 21 years old, white with blue eyes because that’s a trait near and dear to us, and … a dude-bro. we have this hc that he’s in a band and kinda just does his own thing. free-spirit. also, to summarise the family history REAL QUICK – you can ask for more deets – kev got kidnapped, family fell apart, marion and dalton got divorced, the kids chose sides, markus ( the brother ) chose to stay neutral, they moved away while dalton stayed, and now they’re all back. 

plot two – study pal: not quite as in-depth as the one above, but! she needs a study pal. she’s currently attending the local college and she has zero friends who actually go to school. give me someone for her to work on stupid projects with, someone she’s forced to get to know and get out of her comfort zone with. they’d be 19-20 and fc/gender has no importance. 

sutton, eduardo – quick summary: fifty-two, taurus, literal fucking drug-lord, gang leader, owns the silhouette bar outside of town, loves his daughter a lot ( carmen: played by britt ), never smoked a weed in his life, jk, lost his wife a bazillion years ago, now banging the woman who failed save her ( lorelai: played by patty ), has three dogs which he kinda loves more than his daughter, killed a lot of mens in his life, just all around a good dude. 

plot one – brother: ed comes from an cuban-catholic family from new orleans and his father was kind of an asshole but his mom was alright. however, he was always closest to his little brother. so please, for the love of god, play him. you’ll get to play an uncle if you do, it’s pretty hot. any cuban fc in their late forties would work, but raul esparza is a hot fucking take. 

plot two – gang members: he’s a gang leader, ok? he needs more to lead. they hang out at the silhouette bar, push drugs through town and are all around just a good group of people. give me all of them to be honest. think the southside serpents from riverdale. or whatever they’re called in sons of anarchy. fc and gender and stuff don’t matter, however – ed would never allow someone under twenty-five. he’s a family man. 

talbot, mikhail – quick summary: thirty, pisces, the softest boy you’ll ever meet, a nurse at the local hospital, got a kid on the way, dating a ginger bitch ( liza: played by pj ), best friends with his cousin ( nic: also played by pj ), best friends with his ex ( emma: played by lane and not pj ) coaches the kids football team during his spare time, also works a couple of shifts at his father’s ( robert: played by luna ) hardware store, really just genuinely fucking nice, kinda depressed but you’d never know. 

plot one – high school friends: he’s lived in sheffield his whole life. he was on the football team, he was popular – he was a fun dude to hang with. it’s unrealistic none of his high school friends stuck around. so! give me a couple of those. they can be anybody as long as they’re around thirty years old.

plot two – kids to coach: self-explanatory, really. but if you want to play a kid on the football team, speak now or forever hold your peace. teens, boys probably because sports ball is sexist, just someone for him to coach and teach the way of sports ball life. 

weathers, elizabeth – quick summary: forty-two, sagittarius, freaking neurotic, forgets her own son ( eli: played by pj ), remembers her other every now and again ( jesse: played by nico ), wishes she could forget her husband ( andy: played by lane ), her bestest and smallest son was taken from her almost two years ago, yes this plot came before she was winona ryder don’t judge me, stay at home mom yet has no reason to stay at home.

* NEW ! plot one – emotional support: the woman lost her son, she needs like a mom support group on facebook. she needs someone who understands her loss. maybe someone who’s lost their own kid, obviously not to a giant bunny, but it’d still be kind of relatable. someone she can discuss her divorce plans with, you know? a woman in her forties, i’ll accept nothing else. 

[irondevilpunisher]

My Jessica Jones S1&S2 Review

*Some Spoilers*

Well here it is, the post you might’ve been waiting for. Sorry it took so long to do this as I had so many other priorities in my life that needed my attention. But I’m here now and I’m ready to discuss my personal thoughts and opinions on Jessica Jones. To start off I wanna say honestly that I had originally no intention to watch this show. Its not that I thought it would be bad but that it didn’t really appeal to me. I have to like the idea and the characters to get behind something. However when the Defenders dropped in August of last year I had to admit my curiosity on the Jessica Jones peeked a little. I could tell there was a whole lot more to the character than hard-drinking and a give em’ hell attitude. Plus being a huge fan of the Daredevil Netflix show I felt I had to check it out.

For the most part my assumptions proved to be correct. I dove right into Jessica Jones’s freshman series right after finishing The Punisher and surprisingly quite enjoyed it. Now let me say first so there’s no mistaking my differentiated feelings on the two separate seasons how f**king brilliant Krysten Ritter is in this role. She brings such a delightful spunk, relatable complexity and strength yet vulnerability to the character that is so rarely seen these days. Jones is more than just another super-being, actually that was probably what made the show so unique. And she kicks a lot of ass. Opposite to what was done on Daredevil, the writers actually treated Jessica’s abilities secondary to her as a person while remaining more focused on her position as this edgy, tough-as-nails private eye. Off topic I’m a sucker for a good old fashioned detective story; Sherlock Holmes, Nancy Drew, Bogart in Casablanca. Can’t go wrong there.

So the basic premise of Jessica Jones is the story of a 30-something woman running from a dark past; living in New York as a self-employed sleuth. By she day nurses her demons with alcohol [which this show doesn’t glorify unlike Defenders] and random companionship, by night Jessica boldly prowls the city streets searching for the latest cheating husband or wife. Her closest friends/allies are her adopted sister Trish Walker, Geri Hogarth [the female lawyer seen in Daredevil and Iron First who currently works with Foggy Nelson], Luke Cage [a man also with abilities who works at a bar and is a Defender] and Malcolm Ducasse [a former addict/neighbor who lives her in building]. But I have to say though my favorite relationship of all those would have to be Jessica and her trusty camera. Anyway what starts as a typical day at the office for Miss Jones in the first episode quickly shifts into a relentless nightmare involving a specific demon she just can’t seem to escape.  

Going back to Jones’s character what I love most about her is she’s not one-note; there are dimensions and layers to her personality and background. Jessica is so much more than just her jaded quirks, attractive looks and impeccable super strength; she’s got a softer side if you can believe it. She can be feisty and sh*t-talking one minute then kind, funny and compassionate the next. There are moments where she thinks of others before herself; case in point sticking up for Ruben [one of her abused neighbors], saving a little girl from a coming car while dressed as a sandwich [one of my favorite Jessica moments] and helping Malcolm detox from his drug habit. Her supposed care-less attitude ironically is her way of caring in a different way. I adore her saucy sarcastic sense of humor which would easily come across as just plain bitchy or cold if it not for how Krysten delivers it onscreen. Its not mean but not entirely nice either yet is actually part of what makes her so endearing. I won’t go into full detail of her development but lets just say that cliffhanger in S1 really left you wanting more of this character. 

The supporting characters are fine and do well to compliment the hero however I wouldn’t say they’re as compelling to the ones on Daredevil, Iron Fist or Punisher. I did like Trish, she has a nice dynamic with Jessica and the writers do give their relationship an even focus in both seasons of the show. Malcolm is also great when he’s helping Jones in the office during season 1. And some of the other S1 building tenants are humorous and quirky. I did like Geri’s character in Daredevil, Defenders and Iron Fist; was stunned when I found out she was a main player in JJ and couldn’t wait to see what they do with her because Carrie-Anne Moss is so excellent. But when it came to actually seeing her story I found myself disappointed. I just couldn’t connect with her. Idk I guess I found found Hogarth even colder and unlikable on Jessica Jones compared to when I saw her assorted appearances on the other MCU shows. I know they tried to do a darker in-depth storyline with her in S2 but it just wasn’t executed proficiently. If there had been a proper build up towards it in S1 I might’ve gotten behind what the writers were doing but that’s just one of many mistakes in S2. 

Unpopular opinion: I wasn’t the biggest fan of Luke Cage in this series. I just didn’t find him that appealing as a character or cared about his relationship with Jessica. He fairs much better on his solo series and in Defenders. But I didn’t feel the chemistry between him and Jones nor did I care about their comic canon status. In fact I found their scenes dragging and boring. While Jessica clearly had an unhealthy thing going on with Kilgrave its no more toxic than what she has with Cage. Its completely based on sex for the sole fact that the two characters have psychological issues and both have supernatural abilities. There is also deception between them. Not to mention the fact that these two are connected by a certain tragedy which is a whole other reason why they would never work or function properly as a couple. Jones and Cage are far better off remaining friends/allies in my opinion. 

Moving on..

The major highlight of this series would have to be the show’s unstoppable villain and personally my favorite character in the series Kilgrave aka The Purple Man; magnificently hemmed by the ever so charismatic, acting powerhouse Doctor Who’s David Tennant. I never imagined another MCU Netflix villain coming close to what Wilson Fisk did on Daredevil but that’s exactly what Kilgrave manages to do so effortlessly on Jessica Jones. Tennant doesn’t play this character just strictly as a typical ‘bad guy’ or homicidal mind-controlling fiend; he has motivations, complexities and layers that mirror Ritter’s conflicted protagonist. As the episodes go on you actually start to feel for Kilgrave’s injustices and understand his extreme methods even when harming the innocent. His scenes with Jones are some of the most superb acting I’ve seen from both David and Krysten. They have exceptional chemistry together and play off one another so seamlessly. Their back and forth cat and mouse themed dynamic is actually the most entertaining part of this show. Seriously I could gush on for days about why I love Kilgrave.

Tennant commands the screen so powerfully; he’s just a total scene stealer as this character that in a way overshadows most of the supporting cast. He’s that larger than life. I gravitated to him so easily. What he does with Kilgrave is nothing short of fantastic to say the least. He could be scary, funny, classy, charming, emotional and deep without it ever muddling the character which is not an easy feat. I mean there’s just so much ground to cover with Kilgrave, endless story potential. While watching S1 I couldn’t wait for the writers to dabble further into his twisted childhood/dark past and tortured psyche. I mean if you get past the whole killing and rape aspect of him, Kilgrave isn’t all that horrible of a person. And while his infatuation with Jessica maybe borderline obsessive and abusive, he really does love her and demonstrates it. Sick as that sounds this guy just wants to be loved. He would go to ends of the earth for Jones it’s almost tragically poetic. Not more so than what the writers decide to actually do with him in the S1 finale unfortunately. But I won’t spoil that.

My second favorite character and probably the most underrated on Jessica Jones would have to be the young police sergeant Will Simpson aka future Nuke. Not many people remember or probably care too much about him since his appearance into the show doesn’t happen until 1x04. And if you don’t pay enough attention to this character he could become forgettable. But its not the fault of the actor per-say but rather the writing as well as the directing. Wil Traval is insanely adorable and a hot as hell blond babe but don’t let that distract from the fact that he’s got some major acting chops under his belt. And luckily for Traval I did notice his character right away. When Simpson enters the scene its not exactly puppies and kittens; he’s a ruthless Kilgrave drone sent to assassinate Trish which is fortunately prevented by Jessica. And after he’s freed from Kilgrave’s mind-control he reluctantly joins forces with Jones to take him down indefinitely. Thing I love most about Simpson is his integrity in the beginning; he tries to do the right thing and be a good person even if it means crossing the line to achieve that goal. 

He doesn’t always make the smartest or safest decisions but he does his best. Simpson has mystery, another quality I highly praise in a character. I spent most of my time wondering about the guy and wanting more of his background; especially when it was revealed he had ties to IGH. Simpson is so unpredictable with his shift in moods it was hard to read him but that’s what made him interesting. Another thing I love most about Simpson is his complicated alliance with Jessica Jones. For me its the second most entertaining part about watching the series. Ritter and Traval have sensational onscreen chemistry together its ridiculous how underused it is. I know most people probably preferred his relationship with Trish as well as probably shipped Jessica/Luke at this time but for me I just didn’t see enough story built there to care about either of those couples. I get weak in the knees when it comes to hilarious witty banter which Simpson and Jessica have in spades. Through IGH they had a connection with one another. There were times watching the episodes where I felt the writers were building a specific story between Jones and Simpson; whether it was a potential romance or future hero/nemesis arc I couldn’t wait to find out. Too bad that potential gets flushed down the toilet in S2.

Before I get into what I hated about season 2 because I did [all of it]; I need to address the show’s most intriguing elements of season 1. I loved its stylish Noir atmosphere; even the opening theme song is terrific [have it on my Spoitfy list]. The costumes, the settings and locations. From the lighting to the way the show is shot is so creative. Even the entire score is amazing. The pacing is nice. The action and special effects are pretty decent. I get the sense that I’m watching a cross between a Murder She Wrote and Sherlock Holmes hybrid. It just has this seductive pull of mystery and excitement. This show is not like Daredevil, Iron Fist, Luke Cage or Punisher but it does feel very much in the same universe. As I said the superhero aspect of it is more or less a secondary plot point but its refreshing and different. Not to say Jessica Jones doesn’t have its flaws as a series it does. I really wish some of the relationships had more time to blossom in S1 as well as S2. There was so much opportunity for the JJ writers to explore certain characters during its sophomore year unfortunately that wasn’t to be the case. Which brings me to the dud that is Jessica Jones season 2.

I won’t go into a whole thorough rant about what was awful about the second helping of Jones’s adventures but let me just say what they did in S1 they completely obliterated and ignored in S2 [including the characters]. I’m not kidding and I won’t lie about it either. I couldn’t wait to watch S2 because I thought S1 was just so fantastic. I wanted to see more of Jessica’s backstory, IGH, Will Simpson’s character growth and early stages of his Nuke persona, if Kilgrave was really coming back, Trish’s possible Hellcat transformation. I was excited for all this and more. But that’s not what happened. Apart from each of the characters being horribly butchered by the writers, especially Jessica Jones herself, the writing was crap; the Noir feel is just gone, its full of stupid PSA plots and the pacing is just a dragging snooze fest. And those sad super-running special effects would make the Flash sob waterfalls. Did they get rid of all the talent behind season 1 like what is going on? I could hardly keep my eyes open for some of the things that were happening. Actually what did happen because nothing made sense or I just didn’t care enough to make sense of it.

The impression I got from the JJ writers was like “to hell with it we’re doing whatever we want.” Everything about S2 was abysmal and disappointing. Zero structure and cohesiveness in storytelling. I can’t recall a single moment I enjoyed most about this season [maybe Kilgrave’s minor cameo].Trish became so unlikable to the point where I was nearly pulling my hair out and wanted her written off. Seriously I couldn’t stand her and I still don’t know how I feel about her after that finale. She wasn’t my favorite person to begin with but S2 solidified my distaste for her. Jessica my sweet Jessica where did you go because I didn’t see you any where in this season at all. The only thing I saw was your evil clone running around. Seriously though the development they did for Jones was just plain bad. Her character flip-flops more more times than the actual footwear my brain is still in knots. Too many lines were crossed with her she’s giving the Punisher a run for his money and not in a good way. I just don’t see any redemption for Jessica after this...none whatsoever. Its disheartening to say this because these writers took what I loved about Jones in the first year and threw it in a blender. 

The new characters were boring and uninteresting; ugh I’d rather watch paint drying than another scene between Jessica and that random dude the writers threw at her as a love interest. The main villain was just atrocious, predicable and made no freaking sense. WTF did they do to Malcolm?? And don’t even get me started on what was done to Simpson. I’ve been angry about it for weeks and honestly after watching S2 the wounds have not healed. Still not over it. Maybe they’ll surprise me with Simpson but I don’t have hope for that. I’m still shaking with anger as I write this thinking how much potential he had on this series and it was for nothing. Like most shows these days another character is thrown into the scrap heap before their time. What was the point of him being introduced if they weren’t going to dabble further into his Nuke comic history? I just refuse to stop b**ching about it because its so infuriating.    

Overall the Jessica Jones series for me is only partially solid. Is it my favorite MCU Netflix original series? Not by a long shot but I do think it’ll have a loyal following. I loved the first season it was edgy and smart but I hated the second season. I don’t know if season 3 will be any better after that waste of 13 hours I’ll never get back but who knows. There wasn’t much of a cliffhanger in S2 for me to even care about the next installment. Sounds harsh I know because I do love Krysten Ritter in this role. I think she carries herself masterfully. I just don’t feel S2 did her or her character any justice; if anything it hurt the future of Jessica Jones as a series for me. But that’s just my opinion.

Anyway don’t take my word for it watch the show and make your own conclusions. This has been my quick review of Jessica Jones ;)

[daisypath]

My thoughts on Darkness Within

Spoilers ahead! (I know it came out a while back now but if it took me this long to read it, other people might appreciate the warning too)

Also this is really long and ramble-y

I didn't like it very much :/

ok like. why was bristlefrost on the journey to find the Sisters in Darkness Within? Okay obviously, she was there to spend time with Rootspring, but other than that her role in the plot was so minimal. I don't remember her doing anything uniquely helpful for that story line. She was literally just following Rootspring around and trying (and mostly failing) to comfort Spotfur.

(Also why was Spotfur there. Oh my god she's grieving why did they send her on this mission)

I personally found Darkness Within very boring, mostly because two of the three main characters were in the exact same story line. And only one of those two had any impact on that storyline.

Think of how cool it would have been if Bristlefrost had been in Thunderclan for the whole book. And we had actually gotten to see more of the fallout of the Imposter's reign. And how Squirrelflight is doing. AND how Lionblaze is doing! I would have loved to get a better sense of his emotional state and decision to kill his father's body. Like how did he come to that conclusion? That seems like a pretty major character beat to happen off screen.

Bristlefrost being in Thunderclan, especially a Thunderclan which is falling apart around her ears, would be a great chance for her to actually bond with literally any of her clanmates and to actually show the loyalty that is keeping her away from Rootspring, away from a half-clan relationship.

If Bristlefrost's story in this book was about her trying to help her Clan, instead of about padding after Rootspring like a lovestruck puppy, it could have given her some much needed agency and given the book a darker tone.

Shadowsight's chapters in this book, while a welcome reprieve from RootBristle roadtrip nonsense, was pretty depressing and repetitive. They seem out of place. Throughout the RootBristle roadtrip, they are treating it as more of a vacation than a challenging journey. Maybe if Bristlefrost's chapters were focused on Thunderclan's struggles and Rootspring's chapters were more focused on the difficulty of the journey, than Shadowsight's chapters would be less tonally dissonant? And maybe Rootspring's success in finding the Sister's and working to convince them to help would be more impactful?

so Shadowsight's chapters are also repetitive. like not a lot changes in the clans while Root and Bristle are away. And I think that things should change. If Bristle had been in Thunderclan for this whole book, than we could even have several perspectives on the events in the clans and really flesh out the politics of this period.

God this book didn't make me feel anything other than like. frustration. I think that this series and these characters have so much potential. and yet...

Okay and now, side characters.

Mothwing: what the heck did they do to her. why is she acting like this. so unlikable what the hell. I think it is possible for her to fill this role in the story, as basically taking away Shadowsight's status as a medicine cat without her being so... irrational and cruel. While she isn't right to be suspicious of Shadowsight and his role in Bramblestar's death, I don't think that is an entirely unreasonable suspicion. it could have been done better is what I'm saying.

Needleclaw: what the HECK did they do to her. I mean, I understand that being anti-half-clan-relationships is the norm in warriors society, but she is really anti-half-clan-relationships in this book. She seemed so kind and supportive in earlier books. and while she isn't herself a half-clan cat, her father is from outside the clans, and her mother was raised in Shadowclan, so this all seems quite out of character. She doesn't seem to be warning Root away from Bristle from a place of concern for him, but from a place of prejudice. it's weird and bad!

Spotfur: spotfur sweetie I'm so sorry about all this. She has no reason to be on this journey, truly. she is just miserable most of the time. she should be allowed time to grieve and rest. And how are Bristlefrost and Spotfur suddenly friends. I'm not sure they have ever spoken one-on-one before? Spotfur doesn't really give any impression that she reciprocates Bristlefrost's feelings of friendship. In fact, she doesn't seem to have any feelings other than sadness about Stemleaf's death (and i'm still so upset that stemleaf died btw). The way that Bristlefrost treated Spotfur was mostly so patronizing. i always got the impression that Bristle didn't feel compassion, but pity. and throughout the roadtrip, whenever Bristle tried to comfort Spot, she often had an ulterior motive of trying to get Spot to do some form of work (hunting, gathering bedding, walking). if they were both in Thunderclan for this book, and Bristlefrost didn't have that ulterior motive, and so much of her time wasn't taken up with pining after Rootspring, then they could have built a good dynamic. Imagine if Spotfur had some expressed resentment for Bristlefrost because of the part she played in Stemleaf's death and Bristle actually faced consequences? for her actions? wouldn't that be wild?

I don't have a lot else to say but here's a few tidbits:

It is annoying that they constantly point out that Jayfeather is blind. I get it.

also, why doesn't Shadowsight have seizures anymore? weird.

Mistystar is terrible right now. She is a half-clan cat herself. she should understand that the code is unjust better than most.

Also, half-clan relationships and kittens aren't even explicitly banned by the code. has anyone else noticed that?

Lionblaze. As I said, I think his opinion about all this business is underdeveloped. yeah. ok.

I understand why Puddleshine would bow before Mothwing, being younger and less experienced, but Tigerstar, Dovewing (and Cloverfoot)? like way to show that you have no spine or faith in your son/medicine cat :/

God I hope Bramble stays dead. And that Squirrel gets to be leader. Or better yet, Ivypool. Or better yet, someone who isn't an ex-main character. I like that Harestar, complete nobody, gets to be leader of Windclan. I just... am so sick of the nostalgia bait in these dumb books. give me something new for heaven's sake.

well. now to read Place of No Stars. I hope that it is any good.

[xxleondraxx]

Jaal and Evfra

Warning. This post is a bit of a rant. If you don’t like that, please go look at pictures of your favorite animal doing cute animal things.

Ok. So there’s something that really bothers me and it’s been sitting in my head for weeks now.

Game fandoms can be incredible. There’s a lot of amazing art, literature, headcanons and theories that come out of the collective. However, fandoms, ESPECIALLY the Mass Effect fandom, have this REALLY bad habit of simplifiying down complicated characters to make them more ‘cute’.

Over the last month or so I’ve been seeing this a LOT with Jaal and Evfra (I can’t speak for other characters because Jaal and Evfra are my focus in that game).

I won’t deny that in game, Jaal has his cute moments. However, Jaal isn’t all cute all the time. He has moments of profound sadness and anger. This is a guy who has a goal in life of killing other living things to help keep his people safe.

Jaal is also riddled with self doubt. He doesn’t show it at first but the more you get to know him, the more he lets his guard down and shows you that he isn’t sure what he should be doing with his life and that he’s worried about not living up to the accomplishments of his family and those around him.

Jaal is also amazingly intelligent. Even as a child he liked to take things apart to try and figure out how they worked. As an adult he is now a tech expert; an acomplishment he basically had to reach on his own as the angara don’t have organized schooling anymore.

And let’s not forget that inside Jaal also lives a philosopher. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard him say deep, introspective things that really make you think.

And yet he is always reduced down to the cute moments. Very seldom do you see any of the rest of that in all the fandom whatnots. He’s always depicted as cute and, frequently, innocent. Jaal is FAR from innocent. He’s seen some shit. He’s DONE some shit. He’s a soldier in what is basically the closest thing the angara have to a military anymore. Talk to any soldier that has done a tour of duty during times of war and has had to kill someone. You don’t walk away from that clean and innocent.

Now let’s talk about Evfra. Depictions of Evfra as cute are probably my BIGGEST issue because Evfra is NOT cute. He doesn’t do cute things. He doesn’t say cute things.

Evfra is not only the leader of what is basically the angaran military, he’s the guy that made it what it is today. His own codex entry says that he’s shut himself off to others. That he tries to create either respect or fear in those around him.

FEAR. Evfra ACTIVELY makes people fear him. And it shows in some of the ambient dialog you can hear on Aya and other places with Resistance angara. Such as the two angara getting his shuttle cleaned up and ready for… whatever. One of them doesn’t so much as want to SAY Evfra’s name aloud because he’s always listening and he’ll catch the two of them talking about him behind his back. I mean, that’s practically Voldemort levels of fear.

And Evfra has completely closed himself off from all interpersonal relationships. He doen’t let people close. Paaran is one of the people that is likely closest to Evfra and even SHE says she doesn’t know how to get on his good side.

Evfra doesn’t let people in. He doesn’t make friends. Why? Well for one he’s the leader of the entire Resistance. His JOB is to knowingly send angara, his people whom he loves and wants to survive the kett, to quite certain death to fight the kett in hopes that more kett than angara die. He even says so when you ask about him.

“You want to know what being me? I wake up every morning to fight a war. I send people to kill, and die. If I’m lucky, there are more dead kett than Resistance when I go to sleep.”

A word for word quote from Evfra. That isn’t cute. That’s haunting. His words and his tone are both angry and haunted, but resolved. He knows he has to do this.

And let’s not ignore the 'if I’m lucky’ part. That’s telling in and of itself. It’s probably very common in a day for Evfra to learn that more of his people died than there was kett that died.

So why make friends with people you are knowingly sending to their death? Evfra already knows the pain that can cause. He lost his ENTIRE family to the kett. Not just a couple family members, but everyone. Evfra is the only Tershaav left, which is a hell of a thing when you consider how large angaran families are. Not to mention the game just says his 'family’. It doesn’t list out family members which leaves it up to speculation on who all he lost. Since it doesn’t say otherwise, it’s possible that Evfra could have lost a mate and children along with the rest.

He’s deliberately closed himself off from being friends. The best a person can hope for his his approval. Nothing more.

And the ammount of stress this guy must have is difficult to imagine. He’s basically holding his entire people on his shoulders. Without Evfra, the Resistance wouldn’t be an organized group. It would still be a bunch of angara running around trying to do something and getting nothing done. Hell, maybe the angara wouldn’t even exist anymore if it wasn’t for Evfra. And he can’t just quit. Can’t just walk away. Can’t stop what he’s doing. For better or for worse, he’s stuck in the role he’s in until the threat of the kett is elimiated and his people are safe.

Evfra is all hard, sharp edges. There’s no cute in there save for his physical features because all the angara have that kinda cute squid cat thing going on. And yet despite that, I increasingly see Evfra depicted as cute. Often time it’s as an uncle to Ryder and Jaals children, a friend to Jaal or more unusally, a participant in a poly relationship between he, Jaal and Ryder.

Evfra. Is not. Friends. With. Jaal. I mean, yes yes yes. It’s all headcanon. Everyone is entitled to their headcanon. It just BOTHERS me. Everyone has their buttons, and this is one of mine.

Jaal is a SOLDIER. Yes, he’s one of Evfra’s best, but they aren’t buddies.

And I think my biggest issue with the two of them being depicted as cute all the time is it’s happening BECAUSE angara look like adorable squid cats. I mean, that kind of shit happens all the time in real life; having the rest of your intelligence and personality pushed aside and deminished because you’re adorable/hansome/beautiful/etc. Making a false image of a person in your head based on what they look like and just blatantly ignoring the rest of them, even when you know the rest of them, in favor of the image in your head. It’s up there on a list of 'don’t do that’ along with things like infantalizing grown people.

And yes! I know! They’re fictional characters in a video game. But that doesn’t mean the core issue isn’t a real one. I mean, people were fucking up in arms to make Jaal bisexual due to the real life issue of bisexual erasure in media. And this particular issue, of ignoring a personality and just making them cute because they look cute, is also a real issue. Except this issue isn’t one that is IN the video game itself. This is one that is being perpetuated BY the fans.

And not everyone is guilty of it. I know that. There are some amazing creators out there that don’t just ignore the rest of the character’s important personality points because they want to make them more cute. And good on you people who do that.

It just bugs me when people constantly depict those two as cute. Especailly Evfra. he just… isn’t. He isn’t a cute little kitten with pinchable ears, he’s a freaking sea urchin. All sharp edges.

(Lets out a breath). Ok. I think I’m done with that rant. And that was… a lot longer than I thought it was gonna be.