#also jonesy his name yeah

[lizaisdrawing]

My friend says they wanna kiss human Jonesy lol (don’t know if they were given a name)

Tell ur friend to get behind me, I was here first‼️

[insomniamamma]

Hi, I saw your request for something fluffy to write about and I have a thought of Jackson Joel bonding with reader over her pet (I will leave choice of pet up to you). Jackson Joel just hits me as someone in severe need of an emotional support animal!

Thanks!

Thank you so much for the ask, Nonnie! I think I may have misread the initial prompt because I made the pet in question his. By the time I realized my mistake it was too late to quit. And you are correct, Jackson Joel needs a pet, he just doesn't know it!

Pussy-Whipped: Joel Miller & F!reader w/Ellie

Warnings: Fluff. This is super soft fluff. Okay, maybe some language. Ellie has a mouth like a sailor and so does reader. Clueless reluctant cad dad!Joel needs his own warning.

A/N: The idea of big tough guy Joel Miller with a tiny tiny kitten is just *chef's kiss*. Also, I love reluctant cat Dads.

"No. Absolutely not.” “C’mon Joel, she’s so cute!” Ellie plops an angry looking ball of striped fluff into his unwilling hands. “We can’t have a cat!” “Why not? We’ve got enough fucking mice.” “No we don’t-“ “I found turds in the bathtub, Joel. The fuckin bathtub! They’ve been chewing on the soap.” “Why would a mouse chew on soap?” “How the fuck should I know? Cause it’s made with tallow maybe? Her name’s Jones. Jonesy meet Joel!” “We need to have an actual discussion about this!” He yells at Ellie’s retreating back. Since they came to Jackson she’s come out of her shell in a way he never expected. It’s just like her to drop a new pet into his lap and then run off to school. Lord have mercy, he says aloud to the newly empty room, what’m I supposed to do with you? Holds the kitten at eye level, soot grey with black stripes and a ruddy blaze between it’s eyes. The kitten lowers it’s tiny ears and butts it’s head against Joel’s chin. “Well, shit.”

You’re not entirely surprised when Joel finds you mucking the stables with a tiny kitten tucked into his jacket and thundercloud eyes. “Look, Joel, she said you were okay with it-“ Sees how you flinch from him, how you won’t quite look at him, “She was so excited, I couldn’t tell her no-“ “M’not mad,” says Joel, “I’ve just never had a cat before. I’m not sure what to do with her. Ellie just handed her to me and ran off.” “I had a feeling Ellie went behind your back,” you say, “I can find Jones another home if that’s what—“ “It’s not that,” says Joel, “It’s just, I don’t know what to do with her.” “Ellie? Or Jonesy?” “Both,” says Joel. This breaks the tension and you laugh. “I can help with the kitten, at least. What do you need to know?” “Everything,” he says as Jonesy worms her way out of his jacket and perches on his shoulder, making furious biscuits and butting her tiny face against his neck, purring like a tiny motor. “Oh, she likes you.” “Funny way of showin it,” says Joel and tries to peel the kitten off his collar, big hands uncertain of where to grab, how to grip. “Here,” you say, and pick Jonesy up by her scruff, cupping your palm under her hind legs. “Whoa, don’t hurt her-“ “This won’t hurt her, this is how their mamas carry them around. They got loose skin on the backs of their necks when they’re little. You can’t do it forever though. Here, you put one hand under her arms and then use your other hand to support her backside. See? Easy.” Joel holds the wiggling kitten like a live bomb. “Bring her in, Joel, she’s scared you’re gonna drop her.” Joel tucks the wiggling kitten to his chest and she squirts out of his grip and stations herself between his neck and shoulder, turns a prickly circle, poking holes in his good coat, and settles down. “You’ve never been around cats at all, have you?” “No Ma’am, Pa was scared of em. We only ever had dogs growing up.” “You’re in luck then. Cats are pretty easy. Give em food and a warm place to sleep and a box of dirt to shit in and they’re pretty much good.” “A litter box.” “Yeah.” “How does that work?” “Give her some food and pop her in the box after she eats. She’ll get the hint. They bury their waste instinctively.” Joel just stares at you. “She’s weaned, if that’s what you’re worried about—“ He reaches up and smooths his fingers over her fuzzy back-- “I, uh, I’m guessin certain people foods are off limits, like onions and chocolate-“ “I fuckin wish we had to worry about them getting into chocolate,” You say, “I think I’d kill a man for a bag of stale Hershey’s kisses.” Joel’s eyes widen and then he laughs and it’s like looking at an entirely different man, dour eyes transform into crinkling crescents, lovely dimple sinks into his scruffy cheek. “So if by some miracle I happen to find some chocolate I give it to you and not her.” “Exactly. And you’re right on about the onions. Anything in the allium family. No grapes or raisins either. She’s gonna need meat, skins or gristly bits you don’t want to eat should do. You’ll need to cut it up fine for a little bit. Bones are good, raw, not cooked.” “Cause cooked bones can splinter and hurt them,” “Right. Eggs’re good too. Raw or cooked-“ “Milk?” You raise your hand beside your face and wobble it back and forth in a see-saw motion. “Some cats can handle it, most can’t. You don’t want to clean that mess up.” Joel keeps reaching up to run his fingers over her back. “She’s awful small.” “You take care of her right and she’ll grow fast. Make sure you and Ellie handle her. Pick her up, carry her around, get her used to it. It’ll make things easier later on.” “I think we can manage that, can’t we?” You smile because he’s not talking to you, he’s talking to Jonesy”, drubbing her forehead with his big fingers while she makes gleeful biscuits on his shoulder. His eyes are soft, looking at the kitten and then soft looking at you. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome. Just—if you need—let me know how things go okay?” “Will do.”

“Jones left a dead mouse in Joel’s boot the other day,” says Ellie, brushing out Francisco’s mane, “You shoulda heard the scream. I thought he was gettin murdered or something.” You chuckle, picking burrs out of Danny Boy’s tail. You sometimes wonder if this large dumbass of a horse gets into the stick-tights on purpose out on patrol. “You know what I heard when I went downstairs? I ain’t mad baby kitty—“ she pitches her voice up and grins like a devil, “You did such good job! Who’s my fierce little hunter?” “No way!” “She’s got him wrapped around her little, finger? Toe? He’s pussy-whipped.” “Literally, not figuratively,” you say and you and Ellie share a conspiratorial laugh.

Joel shows up at the stable not too long after. “Hey Joel! How’re you and Jonesy making out?” “Jonesy’s great! She’s growing like a little weed!” “No problems?” You ask, thinking of the mouse in the shoe incident. “Nothing we couldn’t handle,” says Joel, “I, uh, need to ask you about something.” “Okay,” “I’ve got long patrol coming up next week,” “Oh, is Ellie going with?” “No, Ellie’s staying here, but she’s awful busy during the day. With school and everything, and lately she’s been hanging around the caff, helping out and stuff, and uh—“ “You’re worried about Jonesy,” “Yeah,” he says, “She’s used to one of us being around most of the time.” You smile, but your heart twists a little, back before you would’ve told time to find an AM station and put in on real low, so she could hear some people around, but these days? “You got a dirty shirt? Something you’ve worn a couple times?” “Yeah?” “Good. Leave that shirt in her favorite sleeping spot. It’ll smell like you and help her feel safe.” He nods, but his face is still troubled. “Just seems like a long time for both of us to be gone—“ “How about I pop my head in on my way home,” you say, “I’m usually done here a little after noon.” “If its not a problem,” says Joel, “I hate to ask—“ “It’s fine,” you say, “It’s on my way. Have Ellie leave the door unlocked. Just remember what you said about the chocolate.”

[soupbabe]

Okay so what about the Sinclair bros with a gn!S/O that really loves animals? Like they’ll come home and be like “I found these cats/dogs, can we keep them?” Even though they already have one (ily jonesy). Cause that’s gonna be me in the future lmao

The Sinclairs with an S/o that Loves Animals

I loved writing this! Def gets sillier as we go down to each Sinclair

Tagging: @rottent33th, @slaasherslut, @the-pinstriped-hood, @devil-doll13, @bugginbeetlew

Vincent Sinclair

- Okay okay hear me out: he's probably the most stern when it comes to not keeping around animals

- Even if they're cute and you look cute with them, someone around here has to put their foot down

- He just knows that you just want more you can handle 🤷

- But he's not a total downer, he'll help put out leftovers for the strays that come by

- Plus he likes studying them as they come by, it makes for good and quick practice

Bo Sinclair

- Bo wishes he could be as stern as Vincent when it comes to you

- Like yeah he's a pretty stubborn guy, but you show him a fluffy cat and he's all done

- He'll still act like he doesn't like it, he'll roll his eyes and call it a "thing," but he's going to the pet store once you turn your back

- Bo would want to name it Brutus or some kind of intimidating name, I imagine a whole afternoon dedicated to a heated debate over the name of the new pet

- Catch him being lovey dovey to an animal? No you didn't.

Lester Sinclair

- Are you kidding me? You don't even have to ask if you want to keep the animal

- Literally it doesn't matter what kind of animal it is- could be a literal raccoon and he won't mind

- I think he also makes a habit of bringing in animals too- especially the ones he finds on the road

- He has a good estimate of which ones actually have a chance to make it, so he'll take a quick break at Ambrose to hand them off to you!

- Literally it's the cutest thing, y'all have a whole cabinet filled with first aid for animals and the Vet from the next town over's number on speed dial

[goldielia]

when jack met cassy

a part of: untouchable au

when cassy entered the mclaren garage on sunday to start getting ready for the canadian grand prix, she firstly found their social media admin and one of her closest friends in the paddock, anne.

mclaren had a close-knit group of girls consisting of cassy, anne, her girlfriend sabrina who was one of two team photographers and charlotte, who was a law student currently doing an internship at mclaren.

it had become a routine for the four of them to sit on the step to the pit wall for a second to chat before any grand prix. it was also usually the time cassy got to ask anne about the vip guests of the weekend which she did first things first ever since she missed when tom holland visited.

“uh, there’s not much going on today. some hockey players should show up though, you know, charlie’s brother and them”, anne looped her in while staring at her ipad. “eh, alright.” cassy murmured, slightly disappointed.

with a last tap of her own papaya-coloured high top converse against anne’s white and orange air force she got up to start getting ready for the race.

jack couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. he was going to see his sister again AND his first f1 race. lottie usually worked for mclaren during the summer break of the academic year, being located in cambridge for her studies, so when she invited him to see both her and the race in canada he instantly said yes.

they agreed to meet just before the entrance to the paddock so she could give him, cole and trevor (who she graciously invited as well) their passes. jack had been jittery the whole way there, not having seen his twin since christmas.

leaning onto a lamp post in front of the gate was a blonde girl, wearing black mom jeans, a mclaren t-shirt tucked into them and orange old school vans. he instantly ran towards her, charlotte barely being able to save the binder she held before jack tackled her into a crushingly tight hug that she returned with equal force.

after she’d given cole and trevor a side hug each and handed each of them a garage pass, the group entered through the gate and lottie talked them through the paddock on the way to the mclaren garage.

after she showed them their spots and told them about the screens and headsets she caught up with jack for a bit before a whirlwind of red curls brushed past them, grabbed her wrist and whisked her away to the steps in front of the pit wall where anne and sabrina had claimed their place already.

“charlotte-i-don’t-know-your-middle-name-hughes! tell me your brother’s not the one in the middle, please” cassy looked at charlotte with wide eyes. “uh, my middle name’s ruby, actually. but yeah, that’s jack. left is cole, right is trevor.” charlotte answered, confusion evident on her face.

cassy only groaned, hiding her face in her hands. “are all your brothers that pretty? your parents must be like greek gods or somethin’” she mumbled into her hands. sabrina smirked, looking at them over her shoulder as she was walking back to the garage with anne, both of them having to work some more before the grand prix. “i think our cass just experienced love at first sight”

charlie gasped and smiled teasingly at that, prying cassy’s hands away from her face. “you gonna make a move?“

“would you like, be okay with that? and are you sure he’s single?” “of course i’m okay with that, cass! i’m not blind you know. also he’s been staring at you like ever since you grabbed me.” cassy tore her eyes away from charlie and towards the garage instead.

the pretty boy from earlier, jack hughes as she now knew, was indeed staring at her. “also, he’s definitely single. i can-” charlie’s sentence and cassy’s staring were interrupted by lando’s voice. “jonesy, hughesy, come on we need to do the rule run down!”

fortunately for jack and less so for cassy, her workspace wasn’t far from the guest area. which meant he could watch her and she couldn’t concentrate because she felt his eyes on her.

the grand prix itself wasn’t too eventful, 11th place for oscar and 13th for lando. both cassy and charlie were needed after the race though, to review the penalty lando had gotten for “unsportsmanlike behaviour”.

charlie’s department handled the rules for each grand prix as well as topics like filing lawsuits over penalties. cassy as one of lando’s engineers was tasked with reviewing all the video material she could get her hands on to find something that could have the penalty taken back, or at least reviewed.

on her way to the conference room though, when cassy passed by jack, she slipped a tiny piece of paper into his hand, catching his eyes quickly to smirk at him.

he wanted to chat her up at least but she was rushed along before his brain could form a single word. instead, he opened the note. it read “you’re really pretty. text me?” with a little heart and a number, presumably her phone number on it.

before he could even try folding the paper back up he was already fighting for balance, both cole and trevor having read the note and started teasingly nudging him with their elbows, matching excited grins on their faces.

“did jacky get himself a girlfrieeeend?” trevor sing-songed into his ear. before he could continue though, charlie apprared in front of them, index finger poking jack’s chest.

“i love you but if you fuck this up i’m not guaranteeing for anything” she warned, serious blue eyes drilling into his identical ones to make sure he understood her. he grabbed her hand, eyes just as serious as hers, and spoke “if i find a way to fuck this up, lottie, please make sure i regret it.”

[enbysiriusblack]

as promised when i ate starchaser ice cream. here is some jegulus:

"So Ed's on Saturday, then Jonesy's the week after and on that Tuesday is quidditch at mine, but we might have to change it to yours if we get another gnome infestation. Then the next weekend after that Em's throwing a party but it's at Florence's boyfriend's, and it's for Mary. Oh and then that Friday though, is the match against Puddlemore so we're all meeting up there then going to Benjy's but only if we win, if you wanted to come to that?"

James had started zoning Caradoc out after ten minutes of the boy inviting him to their seemingly endless summer plans, but clapped him on the back nonetheless.

"I'll ask Sirius and get back to you, mate."

Caradoc nodded, "Right, but also we're heading down to Italy the last week of summer cause Jonesy has family there but the family are going to be in England for the week so we'll have the place to ourselves."

James grinned, "Oh, well we'll def be free for that one", he turned to Caradoc, starting to walk backwards with ease, "Do we need to bring much or?"

He was promptly interrupted by a body slamming into him and thudding to the ground.

James whirled around, "Watch where you're walking!"

Regulus black glanced at him with a frown as he stood back up, straightening up his robes and grabbing his bag from the floor.

He began to walk away without a word.

James huffed, turning around and ignoring Caradoc calling his name in confusion.

"Hey Regulus."

"Hello", Regulus muttered, eyes fixated on the ground.

James continued walking by his side, "How are you?" He drawled.

"Fine."

James lifted a hand up to his hair, mussing it up, "Sorry about knocking you over, I guess. Although you should've been looking where you were going."

Regulus frowned directly at him, "You were the one walking backwards."

James rolled his eyes, "Where you heading to then?"

"Class."

James nodded.

"Why are you following me?"

James scoffed at that "I'm not! I'm having a conversation with you."

"Why?"

James shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets, "Caradoc started pissing me off."

Regulus finally looked away from James and focused straight ahead to the empty corridor, "I don't know who that is."

James laughed.

"I wasn't making a joke."

"Sure, but it was still funny."

Regulus muttered under his breath, "But it wasn't a joke."

James turned to face Regulus, walking backwards once again.

"If you run into someone else, are you going to leave and follow them next?"

James grinned, "Nah."

Regulus went a little pink at that, and turned to look at his bag.

"I see you carrying that everyday, why do you?" James nodded to the bag.

Regulus glanced up, "It is to carry my school work."

James laughed, "Oh. Can't you just shrink it all and put it in your pocket?"

He reached into his own pocket and pulled out a handful of tiny books and parchment.

Regulus stared at it for a moment before shaking his head, "I hadn't thought of doing that... But it seems quite easy to lose when that small."

James grinned again, "Yeah, I do lose a lot of my work."

Regulus smiled slightly before flattening out his face again.

"This is my classroom", he stood just outside Flitwick's room.

James nodded, "Right. See you around then."

"Yes. Goodbye, Potter."

Neither made to move, staring at each other in silence. James had a small smirk on his face whilst Regulus had made his expression purposefully unreadable.

"Mr Potter!" A yell boomed from across the corridor.

James winced, slowly taking his gaze off Regulus.

"Hey, Minnie."

Mcgonagall came to a stop beside them, "You currently have Potions, do you not?"

James shrugged, glancing down to his arms, "I don't seem to have any potions."

The corner of Regulus' mouth lifted up.

Mcgonagall sighed, "I do not have the patience for your games this morning, Mr Potter. And Mr Black, I'd have expected you to be in class on time."

Regulus nodded quickly, "Yes, I'm sorry, Professor", He gave James a quick glance before opening the door to Charms and heading inside.

"Teaching Mr Black your rulebreaking ways now, are you?"

"Absolutely not, Minnie", James tutted, "He was just telling me about his charms class and I was so intrigued, I just had to go listen in."

Mcgonagall raised an eyebrow in disbelief, "You were intrigued by what you have already learnt last year?"

"Yeah?"

Mcgonagall sighed, "Get to class, Potter. And I better not see you influencing Mr Black again!"

"Fine", James huffed, quickly glancing through the door and waving to Regulus.

Regulus was already looking straight at him.

[depressedboyfailure-kevin]

*sigh* Welcome to the Candy Club.

What do you want?

[ooc will look like this! Also, the rest of this post is out of character :3]

Blog run by @anonymous-artist2

Hi!! New blog, isn't that cool! This one's an ask blog!! For Kevin too!! Actually he's in my brain so he'll be answering the asks when he gets to it!

Here's some info about the blog before we start:

No nsfw asks, only very slightly suggestive. (mod is a minor)

Mod's name is Kevin (I have like 30 other names but here just call me Mod Kevin)

No featured ships but you can send ship asks as long as it's not pro-ship, com-ship, or any gross stuff like that! I may also allow oc x canon ships if we're moots or I like your stuff. (mod multi-ships so yeah :3)

Blog is mainly headcanons (might never post those tho)

Taglist: @jonesy-squish @dexthesilly @mayisgoingnuts (more later)

[persuer-of-wisdom-aide-of-many]

(I am not sure if the video ahead would count as needing a flash warning but just to be safe I'm putting this hear:if you are photosensitive or have epilepsy or any reason to skip past something that has flashing lights and colors please scroll past or pause the video)

"ℑ𝔰 𝔦𝔱 𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔬𝔯𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤?"

"̶͕̦̟̙̤͚̟̰̿̏͒́͝Y̶̿��͉̟̳̤̔ë̴̘̓̈́̍̃̓͜s̸͓̠̲̐̓́̔,̶̨̡̤̼̦̮͆̿̔̃̓̈́̚͠ģ̵̝̤͖̫̱̑̍̌̆͘̚͝o̸̳͊͌̏͆͂̒́̚d̸̮͉͒͠ḑ̷̢̩̮̩̻̟̰̉͗a̷̡̫͎̺͙̗̠̿̃͂̕m̵̨̮̤̟͆̎̄͐̏͑́̓m̵̥̫̿̀͗̾̇̊̇͑ȉ̶̼̜̓̊͌̀̓̎̊t̶͔͉̉̽̀̆͠.̷̨̲̬̹͎̐̄̔̃͜"̵͔̠̝͇̂̈͂̅

"𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔟𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔞𝔨 𝔱𝔬 𝔪𝔢 þ𝔞𝔱 ƿ𝔞𝔶,𝔣𝔦𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔨𝔢𝔯."

"̴̢̈́̈́̚̚͠Y̴̡̩̬̪͑̓͆̅͆̈́̈ě̷̥̳̫̦͇̏̓͠ḁ̷̺̰̄̓̀͗̇ͅĥ̴̟̲̌͂ ̸͙̯̑y̴̨̛͊͐̌̏̚ͅe̷͕̥̹̹̮͉̻̽̌̊͑͗̄à̸̰̚ḧ̷̡̠̩́̿̍̀.̴̯̝͍̠̱̯̻̠̅͛̈"̵̣̖̭̔͆̅̃́̇̔͝

"𝔏𝔢𝔱'𝔰 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔢𝔡."

"𝔊𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔖𝔞𝔩𝔲𝔱𝔞𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰 𝔟𝔬𝔱𝔥 𝔬𝔩𝔡 𝔫𝔢𝔴 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔰 𝔞𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔞 𝔮𝔲𝔦𝔢𝔱 𝔞 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤 𝔰𝔞𝔟𝔟𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔩,𝔪𝔶 𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔷𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔟𝔞𝔠𝔨 𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔞𝔩 𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔞𝔤𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱!ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔟𝔞𝔠𝔨 𝔦𝔫 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔤𝔢.𝔈𝔳𝔢𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔶 𝔬𝔣 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔪𝔢 ℑ'𝔪 𝔢𝔵𝔠𝔦𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔩𝔩, 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔰!"

*You can hear some irritated incoherent grumblings from whoever may be behind the camera.*

"ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔨 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱'𝔰 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔪𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔫𝔬𝔴!ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔨 𝔱𝔬 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔰𝔬𝔬𝔫!ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔡𝔞𝔶,𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔰.𝔉𝔞𝔯𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔩,𝔱𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢."

"𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔞 𝔫𝔬𝔴."

"̵̢͓̈́́́̔͠Ŷ̶͚̝͍̘̝͓̈ẹ̵͚̯̼͖̼̥͐̄̆̋͐̋̂͝a̴̭̲̝̻̔̎͊̔͗̈́͘͠h̴̳͓̩͔̟͗͊̽̑͠ ̸̢̼̥̗̣̣͉̀̌́̈́̇̊̚̕y̵͎̥̜̫̮͉͓̌͌e̶̹̣͐̏͊̚͝a̷̧̜͍̱̐̽̎͗̿h̸̨̛̰̤̳̼͊̀̓̈́̕,̷̢̦̭͓́̈́̆Į̸̢̤̻͕̱̳̐̈͐͛͛͆̽ ̵͖͗̀̂̿͛ͅk̸͍̘̪̟̪̝̲͌̎͛̈̀͝n̶̢̜͍̈́̓ọ̴̙̄͝��w̸̨̡̱̝͊̅́̏̈́̚,̶̨̻̮̩̟͈͈̗̂̀Ḯ̵̺̾̒̀ ̴̹͓͈̗̺̅̐͐̏̔̄͜k̶̮̂͂̒́́̈́͘͝n̸̨̙͙̱̆̽̇́̓̈́̂̏ơ̶̭͓͕̲̝̫̩̼̊̊̒̓̂̚w̴̧̢̲̪̟̩͈͆̒̌͊̊̓̓.̷̢̛̛̟̣͉̐̈́́Ï̵̢̹͎̺m̸̛͇̳̦̳̎̈́͂͒̔͝ ̵̡͚̩̣̩͎̬̍̓̂̅͒̂̽͠n̷̩̼̄̆̓̊̉̔o̶̧̳̜̫͖̬̊̃̅̓́t̴̩̤͖́̊͑͐̔̈́̊͑ͅ ̷͎̼̖̋s̵̳͙̝̲̻̘̾͂̈́̇͐̌͜t̷͕̙͊̔u̷̖͈̟̥̝̅͒p̴̛̛̹͉̦̘͖̊̀̈́̽̽͘i̶͉̞̯̩̮͌́̊ͅd̴͍̪̫̲̻͇̽̊.̸͍͂̈́͘"̷͈̦̰͉̠̯͌́̅̄́͝

"𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖐𝖓𝖔𝖜 𝖇𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖓 𝖙𝖔 𝖘𝖆𝖘𝖘 𝖒𝖊."

*the video shuts off*

(under the cut will be an alternate version of the above text without the crazy fonts,among other things)

The entire post past this point is ooc.

Helloski welcome to this blog,this blog functions as a spooky month ask/rp blog for my internation as Skiddad!(there's also his little friend who will be on here,which is a canon character that I'm not revealing right now though I'm pretty sure its obvious who it is)

I've been thinking about making this blog for a while since @ask-atticus-carver (you're one of my favorite blogs btw) made theirs but after @atticusabyssborne made there's I dediced to make there's I made this one! :D

Also I probably wont be doing the whole font this for all of the posts it was a hassle to do for this one.I will do it occasionally though.

(I may also do some tickle related stuff on this blog sometimes :] )

This blog is ran by @jonesy-squish :3

My name for Skiddad is Porfirio Atticus Estrella.

Rules:

-No bigotry,discrimination or hate of any kind:Homophobia,Transphobia,Aphobia,Rasicism,Antisemitism,Anti-islam,Zionism,ableism,anti-furry,etc,etc.

-No pedophila,incest,proshipping/comshipping,etc,etc.

-Flirting is allowed,will likely not be recipoucated.Mod is a minor,so don't be weird

-Only very mildly suggestive asks and actions are allowed.

-Canon character and oc interaction is allowed and encourged! :D

Subject to be added to in the future.

Transcript of the text in the fonts above the cut:

"Is it recording?"

"Yes,goddamnit."

"You know best not to speak to me that way,firecracker."

"Yeah,yeah."

"Let's get started."

"Greetings and Salutaions both old and new friends,after quite a long sabbatical,my organization is now back under original management!I am back in charge.Even though not many of you will know who me I'm excited to get to know all of you,friends!"

"I think that's all from me for now.I hope i get to talk to you all soon!Hope you all have a pleasant day,friends.Farewell,take care."

"You can turn of the camera now."

"Yeah,yeah,I know.Im not stupid."

"You know better than to sass me."

I hope you guys enjoy the blog this whole post was a blast to make :D

[commonguttersnipe]

Fanfic request:

Monty Python time travel AU where the Pythons accidentally time travel to the future from the 1960s/1970s BUT, instead hearing about the young Six Idiots fans talking about how the Six Idiots are "this generation's Monty Python", they INSTEAD hear about some young Monty Python fans (who are called Georgie and Shreyan respectively, and who are totally not based on us hehehe.......yeah) talking about the new (in universe of the fanfic ofc) biopic that's currently filming that day (in the present day), which is coincidentally also the day that the OG/Young Pythons end up on (in the present day). Btw uhh, the cast for fictional 2nd biopic is based on your fancast from a few months ago, which is this:

Also also, the fictional 2nd biopic is being directed by a somewhat annoyingly ambitious but with somewhat good intentions (if a little extreme in portraying said intentions) director who has Ollie Plimsolls-like vibes + who's a massive Python fanboy, or as he calls himself a "Pythonist" (who's funnily enough also played by Reece Shearsmith, idk it kinda fits imo) called uhh "Smithee J. Allense" but who was technically nearly nominated for a BAFTA for his avante garde surreal comedy drama short film about fish people. Nearly.

The Pythons (except John who's a bit salty about hearing the new biopic) are at first surprised about hearing that there's a new biopic about them but then quickly get interested in the concept (though the OG Young Pythons aren't aware of/don't know about the previous biopic "Holy Flying Circus" (2011), which becomes a sorta running gag in the fanfic for comedic effect as other people try telling them that but they get cut off from explaining further or one of the Pythons ignores them just as they were explaining HFC to them).

The catch is that, in order to not bring too much attention to themselves and causing massive hysteria or something, the fans Georgie and Shreyan help the Pythons get into disguise as "regular people"-looking Agents with "regular people"-sounding names/alias of the modern day Old Pythons in the present day, so that the film crew of the biopic knows that they're kinda important but not too much, and that (the Pythons in disguise that is) they're there to check on how filming is going and all that jazz.

So the Pythons in disguise are:

Graham - becomes "Tommy"

John - becomes "Julian"

Eric - becomes "Derek"

Jonesy - becomes "Russell"

Terry - becomes "Jerry"

Michael - becomes "Mickey"

So the gang (in disguise) go to where the biopic is currently filming rn, which is being filmed at the BBC unsurprisingly. In fact, the scene they're currently filming is a studio set reconstruction of when the Pythons met up at and started throwing ideas at each other for their future sketch show MPFC at the Indian restaurant (which was called the "Light of Kashmir Tandoori" restaurant) in 1969.

The Pythons (in disguise) are at first nervous in case they might get caught in the act, but they thankfully easily evade getting exposed by using the fake ID cards that Georgie and Shreyan made for them back at their house (just incase).

After Smithee excitedly greets them (not knowing that they're actually fr the real Pythons, albeit the Young versions), the Pythons as the Agents of the Old Pythons get to see/watch what the scene where the Pythons (played by the biopic actors, or as John-as-Julian sarcastically calls them "the Sexified Pythons", since well...they're played by sexy actors, although Eric-as-Derek does really appreciate that he's played by Dan Stevens) meet for the first-but-not-really-first-more-like-a-proper-second-introduction-of-the-whole-troupe-but-it's-called-the-first-for-the-sake-of-plot-of-the-biopic time, the Pythons politely step in/interrupt to add their thoughts on it so far.

Whilst some of the Pythons-in-disguise, like Eric, Terry & Michael, appreciate what the actors are bringing to the table (not literally ofc) in terms of the actors acting as the Pythons, the others, like Jonesy and Graham (though Graham does like some aspects of Taron's energy to the role) (and deffo not John, though John tries to deny it but the others doubt that) feel that the performance is sorta lacking in a way, and that they need to really get into the spirit of each respective Python. So to help, each of the Pythons go with each biopic actor and help them REALLY REALLY get into the spirit of themselves, (like for example, Graham helping Taron get Gray's character, Jonesy helping Tom, John begrudgingly helping Henry though overtime John does take a liking to Henry, etc) to which we do get to see these side plots unfold as they are. Also the other Pythons jokingly tease John that Henry Shields looks so much like him that he might as well be his long lost son lol 😆.

After that happens, they'll all ready to go and get the scene done proper. And everyone had a clap, even the Pythons. Then, as everyone's having a bit of a celebration, Michael goes to where the lunch/breakroom is, in which Young Michael bumps into Old Michael, who's just so happen to be there as he supposed to record his lines for the biopic as "The Narrator". Young Michael is a bit shocked when he sees Old Michael but tries to act normal as "Mickey" but doesn't mention that's he's Old Michael's agent so that he'll try not to blow his cover (btw young Mike is wearing a fake mustache w/glasses). He and Old Michael have a lovely chat together.

Then, suddenly, Young Michael accidentally rubs off his fake mustache due to there being biscuit crumbs on there. Old Michael is shocked from this, and so faints and falls to the ground. Young Michael is shocked and nervous. He calls the others and tells them hurriedly that old Michael has fainted. An ambulance is called. Young Michael feels really guilty about this. To be continued.....

Any thoughts?? I wanna know what your favourite part is!!!

Thanks!!!

This needs to be a film, holy flying circus!!

It’s like a mix of all our ideas!!

We need to write this!!

[nofoundboy]

Slashers reacting to their s/o calling them "mi amor", "corazón" (Part 2)

I just got tolerable ideas

Tw: more suggestive than the part 1

Michael Myers

- At first he doesn't give a fuck, really

- Like, yeah you speak spanish so what? He'll just give you a trademark head tilt and that's all

- UNTIL he thinks about the potential

- Because fucking you raw gets better when you call him like that

-Your voice sounds really nice in those moments and (he won't admit it) he feels the love and passion you feel for him when you say it

- Eventually he'll embrace it every time you say it. Yes yes, he's your "amor", whatever

- But deep down he loves it. He would cut his arm before sayin it out loud but he really needs and cherishes your affections

Candyman

- He is not really surprised but neither is indifferent

- He has heard a lot of spanish in his life and...no life? So it's ok

- The thing is that YOU are the one saying it to HIM. Like you little alive human are calling him, the urban legend, by sweet petnames

- You really mean it and that's everything for his little ghost exposed heart

- He's super romantic so please, teach him more romantic sentences. He's a fast learner and would whisper them in your ear

- And if you say it in a suggestive way? Whew, he's already tearing your clothes with his hook

Bo Sinclair

- He will tease you endlessly but you already know that

- Outside he is super smug about it, wanting to hear it again

- Inside he is kinda...super panicked. He really means that much for you?

- He gets chills whenever you say it in a sweet way. He's not use to affection so it will take some time for him to accept it in a sincere way

- On the other hand, please say it in the bed, he gets super hard

Poly Ghostface

- "What did you say?" But Billy says it in a teasing tone. Stu is super amused

- After that your name doesn't matter anymore. Stu would introduce you to everyone everytime, as "mi amor"

- Hell, he would introduce Billy as his other "mi amor"

- You know how Gomez kisses Morticia' s arm everytime she says something in french? Stu will do that with you and Billy if he tries to say it

- They sound awful

- Billy gets annoyed with Stu but you...you can call him that sometimes

- Like during sex

- You did it and gave them instant boners

- If you know about Ghostface, they will make you say it with the voice changer. That also makes them horny

Thomas Hewitt

- He'll stare at you, trying to understand what did you say

- "Oh, I called you mi amor, my love in spanish"

- He's used to harsh nicknames so he was expecting something like that. He's very insecure

- So after your explanation, he can't help but hug you

- You make him feel so loved, he's very grateful for your love

- He is not Thomas or Tommy anymore. He is "corazón" and "mi amor"

- Luda Mae is also very happy with your love for her Tommy, she thinks of you as her son wife/husband/partner already so that just make you more domestic at her eyes

- Say it to him during sex and he'll cum in an instant

Lester Sinclair

- "Sorry, what ya say, honey?"

- He callled you by petnames since the beginning of your relationship but you decided to wait a little to say it

- Honestly, just to see his reaction. Lester made you comfortable to say anything since day one

- After you explained the meaning he is super happy, like "telling everyone that you called him mi amor" kind of happy

- Wants to learn how to say it right. For you and Jonesy

- A blushing mess if you say it in a sexy way

[fartoo-sensitive]

flufftober 2021 - day 2: movie night

character: lester sinclair x gn!reader; platonic!bo sinclair x gn!reader (also some platonic!vincent x gn!reader)

word count: 1,108

this one got away from me a bit haha, i meant for it to be around the same length as day 1 was but it ended up being twice as long! that's okay though, i really like this one!! i hope y'all do too :)

-----

"it's my turn to pick the movie, jackass." you glared up at the man standing beside you.

"you pick another shitty one an' you're gonna get a boot up yer ass s'what's gonna happen," he retorted.

you rolled your eyes but set your lips in a pout, turning to peek around him and look at the seated figure on the couch behind him. "les, bo's bein' mean to me again."

"can't y'all get along for one lil night? look, yer upsettin' jonesy." lester gestured to the dog, who was laid out between him and vincent on the couch.

jonesy's head popped up at the sound of her name being said and she immediately went to work on giving lester as many kisses as she could. you thought you saw vincent try to stifle a laugh behind his mask.

<<yes, she's very upset. no more fighting.>>

bo huffed, tapping your thigh lightly with the toe of his boot. "hurry it up, lil bit."

you waved him away. "gimme some more attitude and i'll pick breakfast at tiffany's again, beauregard."

"do that and you can sleep at the station."

after only a few more minutes of deliberation you decided on a movie. you knew lester would be happy no matter what you decided on, and vincent wouldn't care too much as long as it wasn't sad. the only one who ever had a problem with your decisions was bo, and that was because if it wasn't an action flick it was crap (to him). you weren't trying to please him, though, and so you had decided on grease.

you snuggled up to lester on the sofa while bo banged around in the kitchen getting popcorn ready, shoving your feet under vincent's leg for warmth which only got a 5-second sigh out of him this time - progress! les tried to get you to tell him what you'd picked but you told him it was a surprise. he rolled his eyes.

once bo had dropped the bowl of popcorn in your lap and settled in the armchair next to vincent, you hit play on the vcr remote and settled further into lester's side. you felt him press a kiss to the crown of your head and hummed in quiet content.

the second danny and sandy kissed on screen bo let out a loud groan. "you shittin' my dick? this is worse than breakfast at tiffany's."

you laughed, grabbing a handful of popcorn and tossing it across vincent and directly at bo's scowling face. "my choice."

"where'd ya even find this? i know it ain't one'a ours."

"got it at a thrift store last time les and i went into the city. only 35 cents." you grinned, sticking your tongue out at him.

he shook his head at you, collecting the popcorn from his shirt and shoving it into his mouth. "s'long as you don't sing along to this one i won't hold it against ya, but only 'cause i like that grease lightnin' song," he grumbled.

you slammed your finger down on the pause button and jumped up from the couch, nearly giving lester a heart attack. "you what?"

bo's eyes narrowed. "i think you heard me, y/n."

you stared open-mouthed, head swinging between his glare, lester's wide eyes, and vincent's hidden smirk. "are y'all hearin' this? bo likes grease. vinny, please tell me you're gonna sketch this exact scene later, i need a keepsake. bo watching and enjoying grease. unheard of."

<<anything for you, y/n.>> you could tell he was grinning to his best ability under his mask and it made you grin back.

"lester, you best get yer sweetheart b'fore i gotta teach 'em a lesson." bo's voice was hard, but you knew him. he didn't mean it. he was only embarrassed that you were teasing him so much, he wasn't actually mad, and he wouldn't hurt you over something as silly as this.

you felt lester's arms wrap around your waist and pull you back to the couch. "let's ease up on 'im, darlin'."

you couldn't help yourself. "yeah, wouldn't want him to go all grease lightning on me."

"you are just askin' for trouble at this point, lil bit."

you grinned. "you know i'm just kiddin', bo. let's watch the movie, i won't say nothin' else, i promise. cross my heart." you made an X over your chest.

"yeah, yeah, whatever." bo crossed his arms over his own chest and leaned back in the chair as you started up the movie again.

a half hour later found all four of you (jonesy was passed out on the floor in front of the couch), including mr. grumpy gills, engrossed in the film.

bo no longer had his arms crossed and instead had his head in the palm of his hand, elbow rested against the arm of the chair, eyes soft for once while watching the pink ladies have their sleepover. vincent had pulled his hair away from his face and was leaning intently toward the television set, legs folded criss-cross; every once and a while he would lean down to pat jonesy on the side.

you were sat half on top of lester, whose arms were still around your middle, head rested against his shoulder. you couldn't see it, of course, but every time you'd sung along so far - much to bo's quiet annoyance - lester had watched you out of the corner of his eyes with a fondness that made his heart feel like it was so full it might burst.

on screen sandy walked down frenchy's front porch steps, and as she started singing "hopelessly devoted to you," you sang along, your breath ghosting over lester's neck.

he shivered, and by the time the scene ended he was able to look down at your face and catch a couple of unshed tears in your eyes. "i wouldn't do that to ya," he whispered.

you laughed, and it might've been a little soggy. "i know." you thought for a second. "i love you."

"i love you, too." lester leaned forward to kiss you, soft and tender, reminding you of the first time you'd kissed him.

a throw pillow hit you in the back of the head. "get a room."

"eat shit, bo."

<<we were doing so well.>>

you laughed, looking around at the brothers, at jonesy who hadn't even woken up at the commotion, at the movie that was still playing. "y'all are really the best family i ever coulda asked for."

bo fake retched. "don't push yer luck."

you smiled at him, shoved your feet underneath vincent, then settled back against lester to finish out movie night.

[wil-is-done]

When You’re A Mystery Kid - Chapter 33: The Mechanic & the Friend.

Summary: Wybie and Neil talk about bravery, friendship, and the people they have met along the way.

Word Count: 1.182

-

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is a repost.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters featured here.

“Yo, Wybie.”

Wybie jumped at the sound of his name, his head bumping against the ceiling with a resounding clang. He grunted in pain, a hand reaching up to rub the quickly-forming bump at the top of his head. He looked over his shoulder with a pout, spotting Neil peeking into the crawlspace he had entered, wearing a grimace.

“Oof, sorry ‘bout that,” he said, and Wybie could tell he meant it. “Could you, uh, step out for sec?” 

While he still felt a bit miffed about what just happened, Wybie nonetheless crawled backwards out of the crawlspace. After all, this was no time to get petty about things. “So, if you need anything, you gotta make it quick,” he said, righting himself up. “I still got adjustments to make and not a lot of time left to do it.”

It was only then that Wybie noticed the aluminum exhaust manifold Neil held in his hand. “Yeah, yeah, it’s about that!” Neil held out the item in his hands. “McGucket told me to give this… thing to you. Said this should help you out?”

Wybie accepted the item, turning it over a few times in his hands with skeptical eyes. “An exhaust manifold? This’ll be only good for-” He stopped, as his eyes began to light up. “For stabilizing the cooling process so that it’ll reduce the stress on the system, of course!”

Wybie jumped to his feet, sprinting towards the other side of the room. He knelt down next to an open compartment on the wall, exhaust manifold in one hand and wrench in the other, and immediately got to work fitting the parts together. He guessed he was at it for a good two or three minutes before he noticed the sound of footsteps pacing behind him, and he realized that Neil was watching him work. 

Wybie coughed, tugging the collar of his coat. He’s not used to working with an audience. 

“Uh, thanks, by the way. For bringing this stuff to me,” he hastily said, once he realized that had not properly thanked Neil earlier. 

“Hey, no sweat.” Neil shrugged. Somehow, despite everything, he’s smiling. “Just helping out wherever I can.”

Wybie forced a smile back, because Grandma taught him to mind his manners, even when the world was ending. He had no idea things would ever get quite so literal. Then again, he also had no idea this would be the direction his summer vacation would go when he chose to accompany Jonesy to a backwater town only a few dozen miles from home. They’d get into shenanigans, sure, that’s to be expected with her, but never in his wildest nightmares did he ever thought he’d be facing an insane, extradimensional demon with the fate of the fucking multiverse at stake. 

“Regret being friends with us yet?” The words slipped out of Wybie’s lips without him fully realizing what he said. He’d already regretted saying it halfway through the sentence.

The sound footsteps pacing behind him stopped. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Neil asked, slowly.

Wybie sighed. He had to commit to it now. “Well, it’s like, you know,” he started, awkwardly, “when I first came here; I didn’t sign up for any of this. Not for any ghosts, or monsters, o-or reality-warping nightmare demons. I’m pretty sure you’re the same, too. Except maybe for the ghost part, since you’re friends with Norman and all, and- just-”

Wybie let go of the compartment and placed his wrench down. His hands were starting to tremble, and the last thing he wanted to do was screw up the mechanism by accident. “This just… fucking sucks, okay? And I thought, maybe, if we never met, then…”

“No.” Neil answered so daringly, so succinctly that it gave Wybie pause. “I don’t regret it. At all.”

Wybie glanced at Neil over his shoulder, but just enough so that most of his face was still hidden from view. “For real?”

“It’s simple for me, Wybie.” Neil shrugged, like it was the most casual thing in the world. “If being friends with you guys means having to face a reality-warping nightmare demon, then I’ll take it. You guys are worth a reality-warping nightmare demon.”

Wybie dropped his gaze to stare at the floor, at the wrench he’d put down. After that answer, he couldn’t bring himself to look at Neil in the eye. “Good to know at least one of us actually has some bravery in him,” he mumbled with a weak, dry laugh.

“Wybie…” Neil apparently heard that. “D-do you… regret being friends with us?”

“I…”

That’s a hell of a question. And the weird thing was, it wasn’t because he didn’t know the answer. No, he’d figured out the answer already, a while back. He just never had the balls to say it out loud for some reason. And now, in a few hours, he might die, with the answer left unspoken. 

Something lit up in Wybie’s eyes. He turned around, looking up to meet Neil’s gaze. Something had just come over him. A daredevil’s thrill. He wondered if this was what got Coraline to power through everything she did, because, basically, why the hell not? If he could die in just a few hours, then why the hell not?

“I guess not.”

Neil grinned. “There ya go, see? You’re brave too!”

Wybie scratched the back of his neck. “Still. You said it faster, so.” He shrugged sheepishly. “You’re braver.”

“This isn’t a competition, you butt,” Neil said, his lips quirked into an amused smile. “But thanks.”

Wybie blew out a long breath of air, leaning back. He cracked a smile; a tiny one, but it counted. The fact that he’s now sitting on top of his wrench reminded him that he still had work to be done, but for now, he just wanted to ride the last remnants of the high after finally admitting it out loud. He found his gaze drawn to the window, and even now, a shiver still crept up his spine at the sight of the view outside.

In the distance, floating high above what used to be central Gravity Falls, composed of dark red-brown stone, with lava-like orange-red glow shining through its cracks, was Bill Cipher’s Fearamid. That’s where Bill and his demon friends reside. That’s where Bill held Ford Pines captive. That’s where the fate of the world will be decided.

Wybie turned his attention back to Neil, catching him staring out the window as well. Even Neil couldn’t keep a smile up at the sight. Wybie frowned and sighed.

“How long until we go?”

“Two hours.”

-

The countdown continues.

Featuring the two most often underrated members of the MK, in my opinion. I’ve seen a lot of folks gloss over them without seeing their potential. Not me though. I see the potential they have, and I intend to fully utilize it.

We’re halfway through now. Next week, we’ll see how the other half are preparing themselves. See you then.

[angryhausfrau-writes]

Your Friends Were All Standing Around Looking At Your Cock The Other Dayee...

Interior of the farm house. WAYNE, KATY, and SQUIRRELLY DAN stand around the table, looking at something.

KATY: It's a beautiful cock.

WAYNE: Oh, it's a gorgeous cock.

DAN, shifting from foot to foot, uncomfortably: Now I'ms nots denyings that it's a mightys fines cocks. I just thinks its mights not bes appropriates to have sets outs on the supper tables is all.

KATY: Oh Dan, there's been far worse things than a cock on this table.

WAYNE growls: Better not have been them hockey nutsacks.

KATY: I'm a big girl, Wayne. None of your business what nutsacks I'm spending time with.

WAYNE, begrudgingly: True.

DAN: You knows whats you're afters, miss Katys, and that's what I appreciates about you.

KATY, flirtatiously: Oh, is that what you appreciate about me?

WAYNE: Take about ten, twenty percent off her over there Squirrelly Dan.

DAN, looking at the table: Oh hey look. A cock. What is sets most unhygenicallys on the table we eats off ofs.

KATY: Jesus Dan. Hop off our cocks.

WAYNE: Besides, you're a bigger degen than Dary if you eat directly off the table.

DAN: Where is Darys anyways? Ain't like him to miss such a magnificents cocks.

DARY enters the KITCHEN: Sorry I'm late. Spent all morning wrangling my cock into its cage.

DAN, sympathetically: Its was giving yous some troubles thens?

DARY: Kept making itself all big and plumped up. Couldn't get it to fit in the cage. Ended up having to really wrassle with it for a good long while.

KATY: Could say you had to take your cock firmly in hand there, Dary?

WAYNE: Pert near had to choke that chicken, I'd imagine.

DARY: Pert near.

DAN: But yous gots it settled downs and ins its cage?

DARY nods and hefts a rooster in a wire cage into frame: Yup. Tuckered it out eventually. Now it's placid as anything.

WAYNE: Now that's a handsome cock, Dary. A right handsome cock.

DARY, bashful: Aw, it ain't nothing special. Not like yours, Wayne.

WAYNE SHIFTS OUT OF THE WAY. PAN TO ROOSTER ON THE TABLE.

DARY:  Now that's a real handsome cock, and well behaved to boot.

WAYNE: Ok, Dary. Dary, ok. Ok, Dary. Dary, ok. Youwannaknowwhat? Here's the scoop and I'm gonna tell ya. I look at your cock and I think, well, I think: good for you buddy. Just like, good for you bud. Like I'm real proud of ya, Dary.

DAN: It's a mightys fines cocks, Dary. Yous gots every rights to be prouds.

KATY: Nothing wrong with a spirited cock, anyways.

DARY, bashful: Still reckon yours'll be the cock to beat down the Ag Festival, Wayne.

WAYNE: Oh it's a handsome cock all right.

KATY: A beautiful cock.

WAYNE: Oh it's a gorgeous cock.

DARY: Not to be pulling your own horn over there.

DAN: Oh yous shoulds nevers do thats. Leastwise nots ins mixed companies.

KATY: Says you.

WAYNE, abrupt: No hard feelings Dary. Regardless of who beats whose cock.

DARY: No hard feelings.

WAYNE holds his hand straight out for DARY to shake: Then may the man with the best cock win.

LETTERKENNY TITLE BUT THERE IS A ROOSTER INSTEAD OF A DOG.

ESTABLISHING SHOTS OF A FAIRGROUD.

EXTERIOR SHOT OF THE AG BUILDING.

INTERIOR SHOT OF THE AG BUILDING. WAYNE, KATY, DARY, and SQUIRRELLY DAN are standing around a table with ROOSTERS in cages on it. The DYCKS and the HOCKEY PLAYERS are also there, standing further down the room.

GLEN enters with a clipboard, officiators badge: Wayne! How're you now?

WAYNE: Good'nyou?

GLEN: Oh, I'm just dripping with excitement to be judging all y'alls cocks. Especially yours Wayne.

WAYNE squints into the distance.

DAN: You're judgings the competitions?

GLEN: Indeed I am, Daniel. Although admittedly I misunderstood the nature of the event when I first volunteered to judge. But! I have plenty of experience judging cocks from my years on the family poultry farm. The cocks I raised as a youth...

WAYNE: Pitter patter.

GLEN: Well, fine. If you don't appreciate hearing about my cock judging credentials.

DARY, snickering: Pretty sure pert near everyone in town knows 'bout those.

GLEN: True but uncalled for, Daryl!

NOAH DYCK, joining the hicks: I for one think it is admirable that Preacher Glen has experience handling and judging cocks. And from his boyhood, once.

WAYNE: Noah.

NOAH: Wayne.

DARY: Mr. Dyck.

NOAH: Daryl.

DAN: Noahs Dycks.

NOAH: Daniel. A pity Lovina Dyck could not make it to the cock judging. I'm certain she would have had she known you were showing your cock. For is it not true, mine wife, that the love tree often bears fruit when a young man parades his cock before his sweetheart, once?

ANITA approaches: What nonsense are you speaking now, Noah?

NOAH: Simply that a Dyck chooses a lifemate in part by how well she-

KATY: Or he.

DAN: Ors theys.

NOAH: -raises a cock. Did not you impress me with your cock raising skills when first we were courting?

ANITA, blushing: You say too much, husband.

NOAH: And did not you help raise this cock which I am showing proudly this day, once? Why without mine Anita Dyck's loving and tender hand, this cock would be but small and limp and lifeless.

ANITA: Us Snatches have always had a way with cocks, as well you know.

NOAH: A good thing too. Us Dycks require a skilled hand with raising our cocks. Lovina will be delighted to know you've raised such a magnificent cock as are being shown here this day. Perhaps I shall send one of my young sons to go fetch her, once. So that she might see your cock.

DAN, hurriedly: Oh nos, I'm nots showings anybodys anythings. That's all Waynes and Darys.

GLEN: Daryl! I didn't realize you were showing your cock today too. Oh, this is so exciting! Me, in the middle of a Daryl/Wayne cock sandwich.

WAYNE growls.

GLEN: Although I don't know how I'm supposed to choose between the two of your cocks. I think it will take some lengthy deliberation.

KATY: This is already taking fucking forever, I'm going to go sit down.

DAN: I'll join yous, miss Katys.

KATY as they leave: Still not over Lovina Dyck, eh?

DAN: I don'ts knows that I'll evers stop thinkings abouts Lovinas Dycks, miss Katys. Ands that's a facts.

KATY and SQUIRRELLY DAN exit.

DARY (aside): Katy's right. This is taking fucking forever.

WAYNE to GLEN: I say again. Pitter. Patter.

GLEN whines.

WAYNE: If a man should be one thing, he should be efficient.

GLEN: Fine. Everyone here? Then lets get y'all registered. What's your cocks' names? I'm sure you've come up with some good ones.

WAYNE: Plenty of good names for cocks.

DARY: Oh, you can have a lot of fun naming cocks.

WAYNE: I'm surprised we're not naming cocks right now.

DARY: Could name one after the fictional prizefighter Cocky Balboa.

WAYNE: Or the legendary real life comedian Chris Cock.

DARY: There's always actor and former wrassler Dwayne the Cock Johnson.

GLEN: Ooh, that's a two-for-one special right there.

WAYNE: Or jazz musician John Cocktrain.

DARY: I like that one.

WAYNE: Not too obscure?

DARY: Nah, it's a gooder. Cultured - but not trying too hard.

GLEN: All right, all right. So what are your cocks' names?

DARY: Cock.

GLEN: Come again? And please note, I'm saying that in a completely different context to the one I usually use.

DARY: My cock's called cock. I din't name the damn thing. I know what it looks like.

WAYNE: Well I should hope so.

DARY: And I only got the one. Not liable to mix it up with someone else's cock.

GLEN: Ok. Fine, Dary. Ruin all my fun. TURNS TO WAYNE. What about you, Wayne? What's the big fella called?

WAYNE: Only nutsacks name their cocks.

RILEY breaking into the group around GLEN: We're all saying our cock's names, boys?

JONESY: Just naming silly cock over here, boys?

RILEY: Just christening silly amounts of cock over here, boys?

WAYNE: Again, only nutsacks name their cocks.

GLEN: Yes, boys. Everyone who's entering the cock judging needs to tell me their cock's name so I can make sure to call out the right name during the handling. It's just so embarrassing to call the cock in your hands by the wrong name...

RILEY: We've got a cock to register for judging, boys.

JONESY: Well, really it's Riley's cock we're entering. And it's a real beauty, buddy.

RILEY: Hey, buddy. It's as much your cock as mine. It is a real beauty though buddy.

JONESY: Just a real beauty of a cock here, boys.

RILEY: Half clapper top cheddar.

JONESY: Guaranteed W. Ferda!

RILEY: Ferda!

GLEN: Now boys, we're talking about roosters here, not actual cocks. Don't feel bad - I too was confused at first. So, while I'm sure Riley's cock is just delightful...

JONESY: It is. He's a registered beautician, buddy.

RILEY: Thanks buddy.

GLEN: Yes. But I just want to stress again – this is the animal we're talking about here.

RILEY: Yeah, boys. Cocks.

JONESY holds up a rooster in a cage: And this is our cock:

RILEY: Four time Stanley Cup winner.

JONESY: Four time Vezina Trophy winner.

RILEY: Hockey hall-of-famer.

JONESY: Goaltender extraordinaire.

RILEY: Terry Sawcock. Ferda!

JONESY: Ferda!

DARY (aside): Kinda surprised they have a whole cock between 'em.

WAYNE: Ain't surprised they share it though, fuck.

DARY: Same way they share a set of testicles. And maybe a tongue.

GLEN: Ooh, don't tempt me Daryl.

WAYNE (turns to RILEY and JONESY): Now where in the hell did yous two nutsacks get a cock from anyways? You better not've stolen it right out from under some poor unsuspecting farmer's nose.

RILEY: We bought it down at the feed store boys.

JONESY: Heard about people keeping chickens as pets boys.

RILEY: How they're so cute and cuddly. Plus free eggs boys.

JONESY: Need plenty of protein to keep up with the gains boys.

RILEY and JONESY flex. GLEN watches avidly. WAYNE is unimpressed.

RILEY: Accidentally bought a rooster though buddy.

JONESY (sadly): Can't get eggs from a rooster buddy.

RILEY: Still a good pet though buddy.

JONESY: Yeah, just really loves to cuddle with us buddy.

RILEY: Yeah, just really loves to cuddle with us on the sofa buddy.

WAYNE: Shouldn't keep farm animals as pets. Fuck.

DARY: Farm animals belong on a farm. S'why they're called farm animals.

WAYNE: Like. You wouldn't let a sow into you're living room. And you wouldn't let a cow into your living room. So why the fuck are you cuddling up on the couch with a cock?

JONESY: Shouldn't knock it till you've tried it.

DARY: I'll knock you.

GLEN: Boys please. Lets not fight. Not when we're all gathered here today for such a noble purpose as comparing cocks.

ALL: Fine.

GLEN: All righty now, let's see. We've got Daryl's cock: cock. We've got Wayne's cock: only nutsacks name their cocks. Riley and Jonesy's collective cock: Terry Sawcock. What do you call your cock, Noah?

NOAH: While there are a great quantity of cocks at the Dyck farm, this is our most quality.

WAYNE: Quality Dyck if you will.

GLEN: Quality Dyck it is.

DARY: Sure 'nough.

WAYNE: Like you see that cock and you say, that's Quality Dyck all right. And no mistake.

GLEN: Mhm! And I know from Quality Dyck. Now, if that's everyone, we can get on with the judging...

MCMURRY barges in: Wait! (Approaching WAYNE) Wayne. How're'you'now? Good'n'you. Ohnotsobad. Okay! (Turns to the GROUP) I, McMurry, am entering my cock in this little competition. So all you sumbitches can make a hole.

GLEN: Well someone's all riled up! You can go ahead and enter your cock right here, McMurry. No need to shout.

DARY (angry): Yeah, no need to bust our balls.

WAYNE (placating): Go have a dart.

DARY (begrudgingly): Yeah, I'll have a dart.

WAYNE and DARY exit.

FADE TO BLACK.

ESTABLISHING SHOT OF THE AGRICULTURAL FESTIVAL.

ZOOM ON TWO COCK SHAKUR PLAYING FOR A CROWD IN FRONT OF THE AG BUILDING.

PAN OVER KATY AND DAN IN THE AUDIENCE.

ZOOM ON GLEN AS HE ENTERS THE STAGE AT THE FRONT OF THE CROWD.

GLEN: How'reyounow?

AUDIENCE: Good'n'you?

GAIL: All this cock talk's got me wetter than a lighthouse keeper's slicker in a Noreaster, I can tell you that much.

DAN: Gailer!

KATY: First Glen is here judging and now Gail's here.

GAIL approaches KATY and DAN.

DAN: Yeah, Gail. I didn'ts know you were so interesteds in the agriculturals.

GAIL: Less interested in the agriculturals than in seeing some. Good. Hand. Raised. Cock. Specially when I heard Wayne's entered in the cock judging.

DAN to KATY: She knows it's nots actual cocks, rights?

KATY to GAIL: More importantly, is Modean's actually closed?

DAN: Tells me it didn't burns down agains.

KATY: This town needs a fucking bar.

GAIL: Nah, Modean's 3 is still alive and kicking sure as this old goat. But when Glen told me he'd be judging cocks at the agricultural festival I figured the whole fucking town'd be here rather than down Modean's.

DAN: Nots a bad turnsout for Letterkenny's first evers ag festival.

KATY: A great fucking turnout.

GAIL: Plus, I get a chance to see Wayne's cock today – and that's worth a day's profits right there.

KATY: Gross.

GAIL: Not that I've actually lost a day's profits. Bonny's been making the rounds at the Ag festival and apparently, business. Is. Banging.

CUT TO BONNY WEAVING HER WAY THROUGH THE CROWD WITH A TRAY OF SHOT GLASSES AND BEER BOTTLES.

KATY and DAN whistfully, along with CROWD: Bonny McMurry?

GLEN (impatient): Can I have your attention please!

PAN BACK TO GLEN.

GLEN: The event we've all been waiting for – I know I have – the cock judging. Lets meet our contestants!

GLEN gestures to the stage like a game show host: First up is Wayne!

AUDIENCE applauds.

WAYNE enters with his rooster and stands stoically, hands in belt loops.

GLEN examining the rooster: An impressive cock. Sturdy. Well built. And a real big fella. Nearly eight pounds, and pure muscle. Wayne, I think you've got a real champion cock here.

WAYNE nods stoically.

GAIL: And that's not the only cock of his I hear is impressive.

GLEN: Oooh, tell me more.

WAYNE: Glen.

GAIL: That rooster's not the only cock almost eight somethings.

MCMURRY (from backstage): Wait, is that measured over or under the balls.

GAIL: And plenty of stamina to make it through those cold Canadian winter nights. If. You. Know. What. I. Mean.

GLEN: No, please continue in explicit detail.

WAYNE: Glen!

GLEN: Ok, fine. (Gestures WAYNE to move to the rear of the stage.) Moving along, next up is Dary!

AUDIENCE applauds.

GLEN examining the rooster: Oh, you've got a feisty one here, Dary. Plenty of personality! A little smaller than Wayne's but still an excellent cock. And those freckles are just too cute!

DARY: Aw, thanks Glen.

GLEN: And I'd happily take a look at your other cock if you want, Daryl.

DARY: Thanks for the offer Glen, but like I said, I only got the one.

GLEN: Oh never mind.

GLEN waves DARY off the stage.

DARY moves to stand next to WAYNE.

GLEN: Here's our next contestant, Noah Dyck!

AUDIENCE applauds.

GLEN: Now this is something special, y'all. An excellent example of a Canadian heritage breed, known for being an excellent layer and quite robust as well. Yes, I think we can all agree that this is certainly Quality Dyck right here.

NOAH: Thank you Preacher Glen. Such comments mean much coming from such an experienced judge of cocks as yourself.

GLEN: Oh, Noah. You'll make me blush. (GLEN rapidly ushers NOAH to stand next to DARY and WAYNE)  Anywho, our next contestant is Riley and Jonesy!

AUDIENCE applauds with some confusion.

DAN: What, both of thems? Collectivelys?

KATY: It makes sense. They do everything else together.

DAN: Everythings?

GAIL: Ev. Ry. Thing.

DAN: Katy?

KATY: Can confirm.

DAN: Wow. Didn'ts needs to knows thats.

KATY: You did ask.

GAIL: It's not like we gave you a blow. By. Blow account. But if you really want to know...

GLEN: This cock's a little smaller than the ones we've seen previously. Not as much muscle – might want to exercise it a little more, boys. Just really put it through it's paces.

SHORESY: Yeah! Give your balls a tug titfuckers!

RILEY: Fuck you, Shoresy! Where's your cock, if you think you're so good!

SHORESY: Fuck you Riley! If you want to know about my cock, just ask your mom. She saw plenty of it last night. Rode me so hard reverse cowgirl style I thought she was going to snap it off.

JONESY: Fuck you Shoresy!

SHORESY: Don't worry, Jonesy. Your mom was there to kiss it all better.

RILEY and JONESY: Fuck you Shoresy!

GLEN: Well! All audience commentary aside, I think you've got a very shapely cock, Riley. And I think if you put in the time, worked hard and raised it properly, you could have a real champion cock on your hands.

RILEY: Thanks, boys!

JONESY: Yeah, thanks boys!

GLEN: You're welcome. Now go sit down so we can get to our next contestant!

RILEY and JONESY fistbump and move to join the others.

McMURRY pushes forward through the other contestants: Yes, I McMurry am here to have my cock judged in front of all of you. And I'm gonna win this cocksucking cock competition, just you watch.

MRS McMURRY: Knock 'em dead, baby. Love you.

McMURRY: Love you too baby.

GLEN (awkward): Well, this cock's a little on the small side...

KATY: And that's a little bit of an understatement.

JARED KEESO CHARACTER #1: It's fucking tiny, McMurry. I've got a bigger cock hatched out an egg yesterday.

JARED KEESO CHARACTER #2: How'd you get a woman like Mrs. McMurry with a tiny cock like that?

JARED KEESO CHARACTER #1: You're a piece of shit, McMurry.

MRS McMURRY: Don't listen to him. Your cock's perfect, baby.

GLEN: Yes, well. They say it's not size that counts, but in this case – and a few others – that's just not true. Sorry, McMurry. You're out of the competition.

McMURRY: Goldangit all! (Exits STAGE mumbling profanities)

MRS McMURRY rushes after him.

GLEN: Now on to our last competitor! Modean Three's own Bonny McMurry!

AUDIENCE applauds.

DAN: I's hads no ideas she raised cocks.

KATY: I seem to remember her raising your cock pretty frequently there Dan.

DAN: I seems to remembers yous were plentys affected as well, Miss Katy.

KATY: What can I say? I like a woman with a championship cock.

GLEN: And what an excellent cock it is! A little on the slender side, but shapely! And what a lovely temperament. Outgoing without being pushy! Oh, it's just gorgeous!

WAYNE (aside to Dary): Now that's a lovely cock.

DARY: It's a beautiful cock for sure.

WAYNE: Oh it's a gorgeous cock.

GLEN: I think we have a winner folks! Let's hear it for Bonny McMurry's excellent cock!

FADE OUT TO AUDIENCE APPLAUSE AS BONNY McMURRY ACCEPTS A TROPHY.

SHOT OPENS ON THE PRODUCE STAND. WAYNE, DAN, AND DARY ARE SITTING IN THEIR USUAL SEATS WITH THEIR USUAL PUPPERS. KATYS CHAIR IS TAKEN BY WAYNE AND DARY'S ROOSTERS.

DAN: Recon Miss Katies is going to wants her seats back anytimes soons?

WAYNE: I imagine she's occupied for the evening.

DARY: Can't really blame her. I mean, who knew Bonny McMurry had such a championship cock?WAYNE: Hell, anybody'd want to go celebrate down MoDean's after a win like that. She's more than earned it, showing up all our cocks like that.

DARY: Still, there's no shame in coming second, good buddy.

DAN: Especiallys nots against such stiffs competitions.

WAYNE: I reckon you're right there, Dary. Andyouwannaknowwhat? Ain't no shame in coming third neither.

DAN: Especiallys nots against such stiffs competitions.

WAYNE stands and holds his hand out for DARY to shake: Congratulations Dary. That's a mighty fine cock you've got there.

DARY stands and shakes WAYNE's hand: Not as nice as yours, Wayne. Congratulations on the cock.

WAYNE and DARY sit.

WAYNE looks at where the roosters are sitting next to each other: Well, I'll give those hockey nutsacks this. They are cuddly little fuckers, aren't they?

DARY hawks a loogie in agreement.

WAYNE: Still not letting 'em in the fucking house though.

WAYNE, DARY, and DAN take a drink of PUPPERS.

CREDITS ROLL.

[untilthenextencore]

Faithful Angel Ch. 4: The Dragon Has Spoken~...

This takes place after a (fictional) concert in Germany in the late 70s~...

As ever this is forever under construction~...

Please be kind~...

Thank you~...

Enjoy~!...

~

With the cheers of the audience ringing in her ears, almost to a deafening extent, Amina grabbed the towels & water bottles passing them out to the four gentleman who the cheers were for. Four older English gentlemen who were sweaty & tired after yet again damn near tearing the roof off the place & burning it down! Leaving the stage with a resounding "Thank you, Mannheim! Err... Danke! Good night!" Coming from the ever effusive poodle haired blonde lead.

That was classic Robert. Stumbling over his own peppered & fractured German in a last attempt to further ingratiate himself with the audience. The said stumbling only serving to pierce the usual veil of bluster & bravado & HE-MAN LEO MANLINESS & allow the tiniest glimpse of a glimmer of sheepish aw shucks boyishness. The cub inside the man cub. Or the He-Man-Cub as it were. Classic Robert nonetheless. Amina would expect nothing less from him.

He was the third off the stage. Before him came the bear like -and at his best Papa Bear like - moustached & bearded brunette drummer, John aka Bonzo. He was made to play the drums! No matter how many times she saw it in shows or rehearsals or in TSRTS, Amina could never get over his skills. Both with his sticks, brushes & even his bare hands!

Second was the similarly paternal and now somewhat rooster haired redheaded bassist - slash - jack of all trades musician, John Paul. Give him the world's smallest violin & he could probably play it so well it'd make even Paganini weep & flip in his grave.

All three gave Amina a hug as they thanked her for the waters & towels. Bonzo & Jonesy ones that were very paternal or avuncular even.

Robert less so...

His was a bit more lingering...

Pressing...

He nuzzled her in a way she'd seen typically reserved for Audrey or one of his other "road wives", nearly kissing her cheek in an equally lingering & less than paternal or avuncular way.

That startled her...

Only more so when...

"Ahem..."

Robert finally released her & turned just as Amina tilted to the side to see past the big 6 foot blonde blockade in front of her to see him... Him. Her knight in shining stagelight. Dressed in white silk in lieu of armor. With his trusty Gibson in lieu of a steed.

Robert instantly did his best to turn on the charm. "Ah, Jim! Sorry about that! Go ahead & get your things! Hit the showers, mate! Meet you at the club, yeah?" He chuckled, patting the slight older man on the back a little too strongly & effusive. Effusive enough that the ash from Jimmy's cigarette broke off & fell to the floor, barely missing his bespoke bottoms or shoes. Jimmy just grumbled in kind behind his bent cigarette.

And just like that, as Amina at last was able to pass Jimmy his towel & bottle, Robert was gone. They were alone. The techs working elsewhere in breaking down the Goliathic Zeppelin staging. Though she didn't know what to say, she still found herself speaking, or at least trying to speak.

"Jimmy, I..."

She also found herself silenced by a hushed warning, from the older guitarist.

"Don't let him touch you... Not like that..."

Despite the brusqueness, Amina knew he meant it more gentle than it sounded. She could see it in his eyes. Lids falling heavy beneath knitted brows over glittering, penetrating green eyes that were focused on her. She could feel it in his hand cupped & braced her arm. How it'd momentarily squeeze her before softening & massaging the spot he clutched, only to repeat it. She could see it in his aforementioned bent cigarette that was bent from nervous chewing & twiddling of his fingers. She could hear it... In his words...

"Aminadarling..."

There went that name again...

The one that made her knees buckle...

And buckle they did...

"Don't worry..." She smiled, doing her best to play it off by cupping his cheek. Wiping sweat away from his profile & brow. Flicking some off of his fringe. "I'll be fine... I'm safe, Jimmy... He's harmless, really... Just a bit of chest puffing & innocent mauling from your local friendly lion I guess..."

"I do worry, Aminadarling... He may be harmless... But his thoughts are less so I can assure you... As is the kind of mauling he'd have in mind for you, likely... I do worry... Really..." He then cupped her cheek in kind & swept in for a quick kiss that made her jolt in surprise, before adding in a hush. "You're too precious..."

That's it!

Amina glowed at those words!

She shone brighter than the brightest stagelight & felt twice as hot when as she responded to his statement with another shy, smile he swooped in yet again & fused her lips to his.

He clutched her to his rail thin frame, sweat dappled skin be damned. Spots of her t-shirt dampening & sticking to her as he enveloped her. Coming closer than close. Silken clad rock god becoming her second skin.

Amina could no longer tell if the mist in her eyes was the dry ice or lovedrunkenness. She was in a haze.

Without even thinking, she mewled out. "Mmmm... Jimmy, I need you..."

For his part he growled. "Amina... I need to see you... Alone..."

The word brought with it implications that despite the dry ice haze were crystal clear...

And banana daiquiri sweet...

With a heartbeat pressing into her inner thigh that matched her own beating between hers...

Her head was spinning...

She had a myriad of questions swirling about her, all which fountained from her lips in the rare instances he allowed hers to part from his alternately tender & bruising kisses amidst his tight clutching embrace. "Really?... Why?... When?..."

"Tonight... I'll come see you after the club..." He answered coolly before then singeing her with the heated, rasping whisper in her ear as he nipped the shell & kissed her temple. "You know why~..."

That was it...

The dragon had spoken...

[earthfire-75]

Kashmir

Chapter One, Part Two: Kashmir (The Trick is to Keep Breathing)

Author’s notes: co-written with @nature-and-music , beta-ed by @lady-jane-revisited

A lopsided smile tugged at his lips, “I’ll get them for you.”

“No thank you Robert, Grant gave me the money and I’ll pay for it.”

“Oh please, just one of them then?”

I shook my head, “No it’s fine. Besides, we need to head back.”

He pursed his lips and huffed, “Alright, if you say so.”

The purchase was completed and it was time to head out, however Robert was speaking to the woman behind the counter; or flirting no less. She nodded her head and wrote something down on a note by the dresses that he brought to her.

“Thank you darlin’, have a pleasant rest of your day.”

I chuckled, “Giving her the number to your hotel room?”

“Not exactly, Anjelika. Come on we better hurry, the party’s going to start soon and you still need to do your hair and makeup,” he informed.

Somewhere along the line, we lost the other three band members. Robert took me to the hotel they were staying at, figuring they would all meet up there anyway. He let me borrow his bathroom to change and do my hair and makeup.

“What kind of party is it? Formal or informal?”

“Well, I’m wearing a suit, if that helps?”

I rolled my eyes. “Ok.” I picked out the longer dress and started getting ready. I could hear Robert rummaging around in the other room and assumed he was doing the same. I just finished when Robert knocked on the door.

“I need the mirror, love. Gotta comb out my hair and beard.”

I flung the door open, grabbing the comb from the counter. “Don’t you dare take a comb to those curls! Tell me you have a pick.”

He swallowed. “Technically? I left it at home?”

I didn’t say anything else, but grabbed his hand and pulled him out to the common room and to the couch. I then sat, pulling him down next to me. It was then I noticed what suit he was wearing, and still with his beard. Fuck! He wasn’t yet wearing the jacket, but he had the vest on and the top two or three bottoms of his shirt were left undone. Now it was my turn to swallow hard as I leaned in with the comb to fix his beard. Then I started to run my fingers through his hair carefully.

“If you forget your pick again, use your fingers, not a comb or brush. You could ruin your curls otherwise.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Good. Now, we should probably get going.”

We both stood and, as Robert grabbed his jacket from the arm of the couch, we left the hotel room and headed downstairs. “The party is being held in the hotel restaurant,” Robert informed me.

At first, the party seemed more like a meet and greet with the other roadies and their tour manager, who seemed unimpressed that I was “some bird” Jimmy picked up off the street. But none of the boys were having it. Robert happily reassured the crew that I was indeed more than “some bird,” that in fact I was assigned to be a part of the touring as well. To be equipped with the behind the scene matters and the roadies would simply need to learn to live with this sudden change. Being the new kid in town was never easy, and I was feeling beyond self conscious about this, however I had to keep my intrusive thoughts at bay. New learning opportunities would be coming up and it was all a matter of learning the ropes. Even if a fair amount of the crew thought of me as another to be shared among the members of the band, especially with Robert since he had locked arms with me.

The party started off fairly quiet at first as we all sat down at our tables to listen to a congratulatory speech from Grant. He had nothing but high expectations for everyone involved and that this tour would be bigger and heavier than the previous one. I felt a hand touch my lap and I followed the arm to see Robert’s concerned expression. I gave him a little smile to reassure him that I was alright. The last thing that I needed to do was interrupt Peter in the middle of his talk, and right before my first day no less.

A line was formed as everyone made their way to be serviced by the chefs. All manner of succulent cuts of meat, freshly cooked fish, bubbling champagne, and assorted hors d'oeuvres were ready to be served. Everything looked so delicious and oh so appetizing, I just simply couldn’t believe my eyes. As we stood in line, I overheard Jonesy and Jimmy mention something, although it was hard to hear amongst the chatter of Robert talking to Bonzo.

“How do you suppose they’ll feel about touring?” Jimmy asked.

Jonesy shrugged, “Well, hopefully their antics won’t take away from the show. And your guitars won’t get demolished as well.”

Jimmy scowled, “If he even thinks about touching any of my guitars, I’ll bash his head in!”

“If you do, she’ll end up giving you a black eye. You know that she has a bit of a ‘short’ temper,” the bassist chuckled. “Besides, I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“Well you're the bass guitar player, none of your things will be obliterated,” Jimmy whined.

Bonzo joined in, “Not unless a certain someone decides to shove a cherry bomb in the strings.”

Jonesy smiled and rolled his eyes, “Well I suppose I’ll just need to stand close to Thunderfingers won’t I?”

Guitars being destroyed? Cherry bombs? My curiosity peaked, however I didn’t want to interrupt their conversation. At least not until I knew a little more of what or who they were referring to. We made our way to the table and enjoyed our delicious food and sparkling drinks. The champagne flowed like rain down our throats as the appetizing meals made our mouths water. A few questions were directed to me regarding how I was feeling about the new job and I answered honestly.

I smiled meekly, “Well I’m very excited about this. This is going to be something different for me for sure, but I’ll do my best.”

“You will darlin’, you will,” Robert smirked as he patted my hand. “So how long have you been playing and singing?”

“Well, for a while actually. I just picked up a few lessons from my dad and just… learned a bit on my own.”

Jimmy noted, “I did a bit of session work when I was a lad. Learned a few things myself along the way.”

Robert butted in, “Well I hope we can hear more of your singing and playing while on tour. I think you’ll sound wonderful, and the audience will love it.”

I felt myself clam up a bit at the prospect of playing before a live audience, even though it was a touching notion on Robert’s part. I didn’t think it was necessary to get myself even more involved than necessary, especially since a fair amount of the road crew weren't exactly pleased with me being here. I gave Robert a little smile and a shrug and let him know that we could put that idea on the back burner.

“I’m curious though…who were the three of you talking about earlier? You mentioned something about guitars being destroyed?” I asked. I had hoped they would have said more by now, but since they hadn’t and my curiosity was getting the better of me…I had to ask.

Jonesy laughed a little. “Interesting wording. We were talking about another band who will be touring with us. Interestingly enough, they are called The Who. They’ve got a habit of destroying their equipment. Jimmy was concerned it might spill over to ours as well.”

I know of them, of course and of that particular habit, though I had thought they had stepped doing so by this time. Then again, it's a different universe, likely also a different timeline. “I see,” I said instead. Looking at Bonzo, I got his attention. It was as good a time as any to talk to him, but I didn’t know what the other boys knew.

“Bonzo? Can we talk? Alone?”

“Uh, sure. Looks like there’s a spot at the bar surprisingly clear of people.”

We got up from the table and walked over to the bar, ordering ourselves a drink before I started the conversation, but Bonzo beat me to it.

“So…yer a Nightbane too?” He asked with such nonchalance.

“Yeah, I am. So are you. Do they know?”

“Yeah, they do. Rob found out first. He was there during my Becoming. Scared the daylights out of ‘im, but it was like he still knew it was me. Jimmy found it ‘fascinating’. Jonesy took it the worst, almost left the band when he first found out. But he came around.”

I nodded in acknowledgment and downed my drink. How did the fact that they all knew Bonzo was a Nightbane make it both a relief and up my anxiety about them finding out I was one too? Would they be able to accept the creature beneath as easily as they had with Bonzo? Granted my other form wasn’t monstrous in the traditional sense, yet, I still worried it would scare them off at best.

Bonzo smiles a little. “Don’t worry, Jonesy might freak out a little, but I really don’t think you need to worry about Rob and Jimmy at all.”

“Thanks, Bonzo.”

Someone cleared their throat behind us and we turned to see Robert. “Sorry to interrupt your conversation, but the other bands just showed up. I thought you might like to meet them, Anjelika.”

He stepped to the side and I found the members of The Who standing there, looking at me. I knew each of them by name and face, even as they introduced themselves, though I did a double take as my eyes landed on the shortest member. There, with the same blue eyes I had seen so many times before, was a very feminine looking Roger Daltrey. Now I know I’m not in my own universe…

“Rogina Daltrey,” she introduced herself to me, her blue eyes never leaving mine.

“Anjelika,” I responded back with a smile and she in return gave me a smirk.

“Bonzo!” Keith uttered, a drink in one hand as he hugged his fellow drummer, “You gained a few stones since last I saw you.”

Bonzo rolled his eyes as he chortled, holding his head in a strong arm grip. Keith complained that his champagne would fall out, but that didn’t stop Bonzo from treating him like a sibling. “Moonie, why don’t you and the lads say hello to our new friend here, yeah?”

John and Pete made their acquaintances, Keith was able to give her a little wave of his hand until Bonzo finally let him go and gave him a good slap on the back.

“You’ll have to excuse Keith, he’s a bit loonie as you can see,” Pete explained. “So what brings you here?”

“Well I’ll be going on tour with the band, and it looks like I’ll be seeing you four as well.”

Rogina interjected, “Is that right? What will you be doing?”

“A roadie, so I’ll be around helping with getting everything ready,” I mentioned.

“She might even do a bit of performing as well,” Robert mentioned proudly.

I was silent as The Who stared at me, my throat becoming dry. I tried to play off his comment as a joke, “Good one Robert. He’s just kidding-”

Rogina tilted her head as she looked at me, “Are you sure? Because if you can sing, we’d love to hear you.”

My heart was pounding, all I could give her was an unsure shrug, “Um, another time… maybe. Say why do you all go get something to eat, the food is very delicious here.”

Keith was already off to find himself a plate, with John closing in behind him. Pete kept himself occupied with discussing business matters with Jimmy and Grant. Rogina on the other hand decided to stay and talk a bit more. Everything about this Roger was pretty much the same: The height, the golden corkscrew curls, ocean blue eyes, toothy grin, muscular arms, and stylish clothing. Still it was odd speaking with her, considering the obvious factors such as a slightly higher register in her voice and the presence of breasts that protruded from her suit.

“So how did you manage to work with Zeppelin?” Rogina asked.

I tried to answer as best as I could, “Oh well… you see Jimmy let me know that a spot was available actually.” I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t tell her that Jimmy had found me like an abandoned cat in an alleyway that he felt sorry for. A little of me to say, but still I couldn’t seem to add that in.

“Is it true what Robert said about you performing? I mean you seemed awfully quiet when he brought it up.”

I sighed at the question, barely keeping myself from pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’m quickly learning that Robert's a little like a puppy…very excitable. I played a little bit for them to prove that I know what I’m doing with the guitars. Something came over me and I sang a little bit too. I never agreed to playing in front of anyone else. Let alone in front of a huge audience.”

Rogina’s smile softened at that. “He really is, though I’m sorry to hear you won’t be playing. The offer is always open and I meant what I said, I'd love to hear from you. if you change your mind.”

I returned her smile and I knew I was going to love this version of Roger too. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

G made his way over with a couple other people, one looked vaguely familiar, the other I didn’t recognize. “Anjelika! I want to introduce you to Ahmet Ertegun, owner of Atlantic Records. He’s here to support the boys. And this is Alice Cooper, joining us on the American leg of the tour.”

Both men stuck a hand out for me to shake. I took Ahmet’s first who placed his other hand over mine gently. “I must thank you for joining the road crew, dear. Though, I must admit, I was shocked to hear you were a woman. Forgive me, I mean no offense, it’s just never been done before.”

I smiled at Ahmet, trying not to take offense. It may be a different universe, but apparently the ‘70’s were still the ‘70’s. Turning to Alice, I shook his hand next, barely recognizing him without the makeup.

“I don’t know if shocked is the word I would have used, but I guess I am a little surprised. Didn’t figure I’d see a female roadie for another decade at least. Don’t get me wrong, I love that women are getting more and more involved in rock. And if anyone gives you any shit, just say the word.”

My smile grew wider at Alice’s genuine words. “Thank you, I appreciate that. Though, I assure you, I can handle myself.”

“I’m certain you can, but the offer is still on the table. I would like to stay and get to know you a little more, but I need to get back to my girlfriend. It was nice meeting you, Anjelika.”

“I’m sure there will be time to get to know each other more on the road and it was nice to meet you too.”

“Fair enough. See you tomorrow, then.” And with that he was off. G and Ahmet soon excused themselves to go talk to the boys and I was left at the bar once more with Rogina next to me.

Rogina sighed, “I know this must be all new to you. Believe me that being a woman involved in rock and roll seems to weird people out, especially guys.”

I gave her a reassuring grin, “Yeah, I’m sure you probably have gone through a lot.”

Rogina took a sip of her flute, “I may have a few stories. One of them involves Keith actually.”

I leaned in, “What happened?”

“Well let’s just say he thought that he could get away with copping a feel. He lost a couple of teeth that night,” Rogina chuckled. “The bastard will never live that moment down.”

I wasn’t sure if I could share a laugh with Rogina, even though she was able to find humor in such a terrible situation. All I could muster was a nervous smile and a nod.

Rogina took another sip of her champagne, rested her head on her palm, and pondered, “So is this your first time working with Zeppelin?”

“Yes actually. And I hope that I’ll do alright while on tour,” I admitted.

“I think you will,” Rogina claimed with a warm smile. “So what would you like to drink? The champagne is alright, but I think I’ll get a whiskey instead.”

I was taken aback, “Oh well… a beer sounds good.”

Truthfully, a Nightbane could easily drink any of these mortals under the table. As to how I would do against Bonzo, a fellow Nightbane, well that would be a matter for another day. Still I was grateful knowing that Bonzo could understand, and hopefully the remainder of Zeppelin, Who, and Cooper would as well. However it was too early to let the rest of them know. In time I would say something, only when the moment felt right.

As we waited for our drinks, I felt a strange looming presence behind me. My throat went dry the moment I turned around to see John Entiwistle, the Ox himself, towering over the two of us. Rogina on the other hand casually remarked, “I thought you were supposed to be babysitting our dear boy.”

“Well quite frankly I need a break from him,” John mentioned with a deep chortle. “I think as long as nothing blows up tonight, he’ll tire himself out eventually.” He gestured to the bartender and asked for a glass of cognac.

Rogina nodded and asked him, “Where did Pete go?”

“Probably talking some poor bastard’s ear off about Lifehouse,” he laughed.

“Oh come on John, the man just wants to share his work to the world,” Rogina noted.

John leaned in towards me, “She says that, but even she gets tired of his songs about teenage angst.”

Rogina scowled at him, “I do not.”

John raised his eyebrows, “Keep telling yourself that Rog. It was Anjelika right?”

I nodded, “Yes John.”

He responded with a handshake, “Pleasure to meet you.”

“And you as well”, I responded with a return of his handshake. “I take Keith's handful?”

Rogina and John laughed. “That’s putting it mildly some days.” John admitted.

“I swear the man can’t not cause trouble in some fashion or another for even a few hours.” Rogina adds.

“I think there’s some unspoken rule that drummers are all crazy,” I chuckled.

“That explains everything, actually.” John said with a chuckle of his own. Rogina just shook her head.

I looked up to see the time on a clock on the wall. Midnight. Where had the time gone? “I should head up to get some sleep, I want to be up early to grab a few things I forgot earlier today from the drug store across the way. Besides, I’m assuming the roadies will be up earlier than the bands to pack up the buses.” Downing the last of my beer, I shook John’s hand again. “It was nice meeting you.” I set the empty bottle on the bar and left a few bills before turning to Rogina. “Thank you for the beer.”

She surprised me by pulling me into a hug instead of giving me a handshake. “Any time. And I’ll add to what Alice said earlier. Anyone gives you any trouble, let me know, I’ll kick their ass.”

“Thank you. But I really need to go.” With that I went to find G to figure out where I would sleep tonight. I found him still with the boys, though it appeared that Ahmet had left. I explained to G that I wanted to get to bed and why, but it was Robert who interjected.

“You can stay in my room for tonight,” Robert offered. “The rest of your things are still there from earlier.”

I had forgotten about that. Hesitantly I nodded in agreement, even if I was worried about what the other roadies, especially Cole, might say. “Alright, as long as this doesn’t become a habit. Just for tonight.”

I could see the disappointment behind Robert’s eyes, but he agreed. “Here, take my key, just leave the door unlocked so I can get in later.”

Nodding, I took the key and thanked him before heading upstairs to the room, getting as comfortable on the couch as I could.

@brownskinsugarplum76 @m-faithfull @jimmys-zeppelin @lady-jane-revisited @firethatgrewsolow @salixfragilis @timetraveller4 @callmethehunter @tremble-and-shake @tophats-n-lespauls @princesspagey @tangerine-page

[commonguttersnipe]

For International Woman's Day today, name your Top 10 favourite female Monty Python characters (can be the Pythons as lady characters and as well as characters played but the marvellous Carol Cleveland and Connie Booth) and why you like them!

10. Deirdre Pewty. Strung along to marriage therapy by her paranoid husband, only to run off with the councillor, is one heck of a move.

9. Mrs Scum. Jonesy put his entire soul into playing a middle-aged housewife besotted with a supervillain and, for that, my life has been improved.

8. Miss Islington. Was a real witch and yet denied it until she was thwarted by a duck. What a legend.

7. Tennis Girl. Captured my heart as soon as she was on screen. I’ve also had multiple people say I look like her!

6. Mrs N. Baiter. Ridiculously unfortunate name but she reminds me too much of my mother not to include her.

5. Mandy Cohen. Also reminds me a little too much of my mother, which is hilarious.

4. Middle of the Film Announcer. Nobody ever talks about her but she gives the iconic last monologue of the movie and looked beautiful! I mourn the lack of Michael in drag.

3. Angela. Is this because of the fanfiction? Yeah.

2. Anne Elk. She’s adorable and my wife and I love her.

1. Mrs Sydney. I love her Tudor costume and the fact she reads hardcore smut. Also, we love supportive spouses!

Thank you for the ask!! 😊

[lets-imagine-fanfics]

War With The Ghost Part 4

Jake Peralta x Criminal!Reader [GN]

[Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3]

Not My GIFs; Picture 1: @tamazo2 | GIF 2: Unkown

Words: 1.2K

[Masterlist] [Send a Request] [Fandoms I write]

A/N: So this has taken a reallly long time to upload but has been sat in my Grammarly drafts for ages, and since I am getting back in to writing I figured imma finish my series. 

After you had made your predictions that Detective Jake Peralta (AKA your boyfrie...your date?...) was investigating you and your crew (also known as 'The Ghost' which is why Jake didn't think you were... well...  you) you decided to risk it for the sake of your crew and investigate Jake Peralta's case.

"Okay, let's make a plan... What do we need to be able to keep tabs on Jake's case, Sniffer?" You asked as you paced the empty apartment of your base.

"Hard to say, I don't know what kind of software he has, different software takes a different hack," Sniffer replied, his voice laced with exhaustion as he rubbed his forehead.

"There could be a case file at his place" You hear Jonesy say in his gruff voice. "If that's the case, you could always just break in, saves us all a job" he added with a smirk.

"Saves everyone getting involved that's for sure" You reply, a playful glare towards Jonesy. "I'll set up a date," You say as you start to walk to one of the bedrooms for your phone call with Jake "whilst I do that... Try and figure out what computers the precinct have and then Sniffer..." You turn back around to look at your team who are all eyes on you. Sniffer nods understanding that you want him to create a bug that you can plant. You head down the hall to the bedroom furthest from the team so you can't be heard on the phone.

You can hear his phone ringing through and then... "Hi, Jake". --- "I have an Instagram picture of one of Jake's work colleagues, Gina, It's a selfie, but her work computer is in the back of the picture, it's just a HP computer, nothin special" Creeps spoke up after going from Jake's Instagram followers and working out who Jake works with off of the last names that Sniffer had managed to find from some of the newspapers. From there, he found Gina's and, well, he hit the jackpot.

"This picture was a year ago; they could have gotten new systems now, a few precincts got new computers a few months ago as a good work initiative, didn't they." Creeps replied.

AJ grabs the phone from Creeps and looks through a few photos of Gina "Okay, so her spirit animal is a wolf, she loves Beyonce, and... believes in psychics... Get me her work number; I have an idea."

Sniffer found the work number, that was the easy part, AJ put her phone on private, dialled in the number and let it ring through.

"Hello, Is this Miss Linetti?" AJ asked through the phone, making sure to put on an accent. 'This is she' Gina replied.

"Oh, good, I'm with HP, and I see on my list that the 99th Precinct should be... due for a... computer software update soon, I am just ringing to check that everything is working well before we go ahead and send the update." 'Yeah... I guess everything is working' Gina again replied.

"Oh, excellent, I'll go ahead and send that email for you just to confirm you want the update... and then it will take a few days to come through, but first I need to take some details just to make sure our information matches your software otherwise the update might make your computer do a system reboot." At this, Sniffer actually facepalmed. 'I don't know those deets'

Sniffer started to write something down before showing AJ "It can be confusing at times but don't worry, there is a straightforward way of seeing... erm..." AJ vigorously shakes her head at Sniffer, saying no, whilst Sniffer nods his head at AJ as he shoves the paper closer to her face. "What does the windows logo look like on the keyboard?" 'Like a flag.' "Like a flag? Okay... and does it have a circle around it or does it look like the end is pixelated like it belongs in 'Avengers: Infinity War'?" AJ asks. 'Circle one?'  Gina finally said as if analysing the logo on her keyboard.

"The circle one" AJ confirms looking at Sniffer who nods eagerly. "Excellent, thank you Ms Linetti, that's the one we have on our systems too.  That's the Windows Vista software, well we have confirmed that and we will continue with the update. Thank you for the help." 'No problem, I guess' Gina replied before hanging up.

"How did you know it was the Windows Vista from just 'flag' and  'circle'?" AJ asked Sniffer who was getting a high five from Creeps at that point.

"Windows logo changed a bit; I would have been screwed if she said neither coz that means it could either be XP or 7 and we would have had no way of telling them apart."

Sniffer sat back down at his computer from being stood; next AJ was he vigorously wrote notes and hints down for her whilst on the phone, as he got done making the bug email for you, you appeared from the bedroom.

"I have a date, It took some time and convincing, but I am picking him up from the precinct, did you find out what computer system they were using or whatever?"

"Creeps found the person to call and AJ rang, she was brilliant on the phone, taught her well. Quick on her feet. Sniffer managed to figure out what computer systems the 99 was using and created the bug email, and I just stood 'ere looking pretty." Jonesy relayed everything that had happened whilst you were in the other room.

"You are amazing at standing there and looking pretty, Jonesy" You say with a smile as Sniffer sends off the bugged email.

"Don't you know it" Jonesy replied with a grin. ------

You were heading to the precinct whilst you were on your phone. "Now remember, we can't help you when you are in there, no earpieces, no calls, you are totally dark in there." Creeps said on the other end of the phone.

"Oh no, 'cause I really wanted you lot listening in on our date" You reply sarcastically.

"Okay, Okay" Sniffer joined the call. "Right, once you reach Jake's computer, add the hard drive and send over the file. It will be visible in your hard drive file but not on the computer - due to the bug we sent to Ms Linetti via email. Once you have sent it over, we can then take a look at anything and everything on Jake's laptop and then whenever he sends an email - with our keywords; the bug will automatically multiply and attach to the emails and docs sent, and then once we are ready, we can erase every single file and email about the Ghosts."

"Very nice touch, Sniffer" You say pleased with his thinking.  "I'll be in touch after everything is done" After that you hang up, knowing that your team no doubt had a dozen comments about what 'Everything' could be.  

When you walked into the 99, you headed into the bullpen when you heard someone speak to you. "Hi, can I help you" A short man wearing a detective's badge asks.

"Yes, actually... I'm looking for Jake Peralta, this is where he works, isn't it?" You ask feigning innocents.  

"Jake... Yeah, he's out at the minute, but his desk is just there if you want to wait" The man replied with a soft tone.

"Perfect, Thank you."