#also ive never known peace
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tomdelongeschlong · 2 years ago
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iatrophilosophos · 4 months ago
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Hey I'm hearing uh. More, and more, and more buzz about GLP-1 agonists like ozempic from random ppl and healthcare providers alike and there's like a terrifying lack of lucidity abt it so I just wanna say, if you've heard some stuff and are curious:
Ozempic is a chemically-aided crash diet. That's it.
Like metformin, an older diabetes medication used off-label for weight loss, it's functioning as an appetite suppressant in this use-case. It's not magic; it's not changing how your body makes or uses fat; it just makes it less miserable to eat less. It is contraindicated by histories of disordered eating and should absolutely not be prescribed without a full screening for above-adequate food intake and nutrition *and* ongoing screening for adequate nourishment/malnutrition: this is broadly not happening.
I've also seen no indication that ozempic/GLP-1 agonists are any less likely to lead to weight cycling (w/o constant use) than a straight crash diet, or do anything meaningful to limit the known, significant health risks of weight cycling.
Nothing has changed:
The main things we know from a western scientific perspective about weight and weight loss are that 1) almost all people who lose significant weight gain it back and 2) weight cycling causes cardiovascular and metabolic health complications. Yall we aint even have strong evidence to suggest that weight loss is beneficial to health conditions associated with higher weights. This *should* point to Dr's never ever reccomending weight loss (we do know it can hurt, don't know it can help) but yknow we live in uhhhh fucking world.
We are possibly ripe for an aggressive intensification of anti-fat medical rhetoric, especially in pediatrics
Among the projections for an RFK FDA that ive gotten from folks i know in these fields is a renewed focus on childhood obseity and general military-style fitness. As the ozempic fad has already been ramping up, I'm kinda! concerned! about this being a major point of focus for the oncoming administration--i figure we're ripe for another mass diet craze associated with a wide variety of deaths anyway and that existing cultural+market inertia added to it being literally on the agenda spells some not great things. I really seriously reccomend paying extra attention to this area.
Clinics love ozempic because it's extremely popular and extremely profitable--i even know someone who's job was threatened for refusing to prescribe it. We already know that we cant trust doctors to be informed around weight or for the system to sound public alarms.
Obviously, people have the right to do whatever they want--but the disclosure just isn't there and people are being sold this stuff based on the idea it'll make them *healthier* and prevent disease. It can't and it won't.
If the claims here about weight in general are new to you, start here: (Don't love the title of the article, second the exasperation)
If you want to understand more about glp-1 agonists specifically, like, start with the Wikipedia article and do some googling it lays out the pharmacology in relatively plain language. Sry i ain't doing a buncha work to find citations ppl won't click; there's not a lot of good critical stuff out there that's actually published but it doesn't actually take a lot of reading up on critical weight science to form a critical take on the sources singing ozempics praises.
Peace, good luck, do whatever you want forever, maybe tell ur mom that this isn't any different from the disastrous weight loss fads of the 90s.
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munv · 11 days ago
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DIASOMNIA X !FURINA READER
ohmydays ive been itching to pop these fics out for a while..im learning consistency!!
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MALLEUS
At first, he thought you were just one of those eccentric faces he would never have the chance to properly meet, but alas, you proved him wrong. The way your theatrics light up the room, the way your voice changes in pitch and its just right, down to the way you move your arms about.
He's invested.
He humors the dramatics with a calm smile and crinkled eyes. "mal, can you believe this?! my brilliance..oh great sevens..!". Maybe he spoils you too much in this aspect (not as much as lilia)
He appreciates the big contrast between you and other people, since not many people are willing to be affiliated with him willingly. However, in the moments where you are vulnerable, he will cradle you.
Not often is he accustomed to speaking with other people, so instead of asking questions as to what is bothering you, he just sits and listens. Opting for quiet companionship over words.
He's the type of hypeman that will watch you perform some dramatic script in the rain, holding the umbrella over both your heads and he smiles at you performing away.
It's a nice change from the quiet, he thinks.
LILIA
If Malleus is your hypeman, then Lilia is your partner in crime. He fuels your ego and spurs on the madness. There has not been one moment he has not supported any of your ideas, so you two completely bounce off one another.
He's one of the few people who can actually match your energy and join you on your stage rather than merely supporting from the sidelines.
He respects the fact that you wont always be yourself, and in those times where your ego fails you, he wont.
There was this moment where you were having a moment of crippling depression, and he just randomly started playing opera music as you acted out your woes.
Whenever you mess up, he ends up providing confident and supporting words, although they may have a teasing undertone, it helps.
SEBEK
The yelling matches never cease. If Diasmonia has known peace, it will never know what peace is ever again. He actually despises you to some extent
It's disgusting (in a good way) how much Sebek claims that he hates your guts and then the second your back is turned? He's boasting about your glory and whatnot.
Sebek is worse than Malleus when it comes to emotions, because he absolutely sucks. He would say something and then only realize afterwards that he was too mean and then apologize.
He's so awkward (Dork #3) when it isnt you boasting about how amazing you are, but he does enjoy your plays. He respects the passion you have for acting and it drives him to become better as well!
Learning something from Sebek is hard when hes too busy yelling at you all the time, but he likes to sit you down at times (lilia told him too, this wasnt of his own violation, though he isnt completely against it) and teach you that you dont always need validation
You two balance each other out to some extent. He gets embarrassed and starts another screaming match when you tease him though. All in good fun, of course.
SILVER
Silver is concerned about you. The way you would flop right next to him on the couch and spout something dramatic, and he would wake up halfway and go "did something happen again..?"
Silver, like Malleus, is a listener. Silver does nothing but stare at you whenever you exaggerate your day.
What he does seem to show interest in is the stories that you recall from your world so he can sleep. He likes the stories that you describe about Fontaine, it makes him smile lightly whenever he sees the big grin on your face right before he falls back asleep.
Does he know that you and Lilia use him as a damsel in distress for a mini play when hes asleep? No. Does he also know you both force Malleus to watch and Sebek to be his shining armor? Not a clue
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woso-dreamzzz · 10 months ago
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Leaving IV
Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader
Summary: Alexia takes you on holiday
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The first time Alba and Alexia went on holiday with each other was when Alexia turned eighteen.
Suddenly, she had independence and some adult money to blow on frivolous things so she took Alba to Ibiza with her.
You got left at home because you were still very little and going to the beach and tanning was not something you enjoyed.
Instead, with both of your sisters in Ibiza, Mama took you to the beach near the house and you did fun things like building a sandcastle and eating your weight in ice cream.
Mama made a weekend of it and you were certain you had a much more fun time than Alba and Alexia did. You couldn't imagine laying in the sun and sleeping the day away with fruity drinks could be much fun or, at least when you were younger you couldn't imagine it being fun.
Now though, as a teenager that was also an athlete, you enjoyed you sleep. Naps were an important part of your routine. You came home from school and napped before getting up to go to your training. Then you would come home and nap until dinner.
It was good routine. You liked your routine.
You didn't like having it interrupted at three in the morning by Alba shaking you awake.
You blindly bat a hand at her. "Go away." You roll over onto your front and bury your head in the pillow. "Five more minutes."
"You'd already said that," She says," Come on, get up."
"No."
"If you don't get up now then Alexia will be up with a bucket of water. Then you'll have to get up and change your sheets. Come on, up!"
You groan loudly, muffled by your pillow before forcing yourself up.
The only reason you agreed to going on Alexia and Alba's sister holiday was because you thought you could relax. But, with Alexia in charge, you should have known that would never be the case.
She'd booked the flight for six forty-five leading to this three in the morning wake-up call so you dragged yourself out of your body and changed into some plane comfortable clothing.
It was barely an hour's flight from Barcelona to Mallorca so you've no idea why Alexia insisted on the stupidly early flight.
Either way, you drag your suitcase down the stairs and flip your hood up in an attempt to show your protest at the early morning wake-up call.
Alexia pulls it straight back down.
You flip it up again.
She pulls it down again.
You reach to put it up. Alexia's stern look stops you.
You kick her in the shin.
"You kick like a baby," She says, sticking her tongue out.
"I'm going to bite you."
"Ah," Alba says wistfully, throwing her arms around each of you," Just like old times!"
Alexia grins and ruffles your hair. You pretend to be annoyed.
You manage to have a small nap on her shoulder on the flight over and then get rudely awakened by her shaking you.
The villa is nice though and it's even nicer when you remember Alexia is paying for absolutely everything.
The house has a pool and a shady spot for naps and a big inflatable sword that you're going to use to smack Alba when she annoys you. It's near the beach and is only a ten-minute walk or so into town.
All in all, you're actually quite happy to be on this trip with your older sisters, even though Alba shoves past you to claim the room you wanted as her own.
The sun is nice and hot and you close your eyes for your midday nap as Alba floats around in the pool and Alexia paces around on the phone to her girlfriend.
It's nice and peaceful and sleep comes easy to you.
You don't know how long you've been sleeping by the time Alexia wakes you up by squirting cold sun cream onto your back.
You shriek, flinching away but her strong hands follow you and you can feel her rubbing it in.
"Ale," You whine," I don't need any."
"You do," She insists, working it more furiously into your skin," I got the strongest I can find."
"But then I won't tan!"
"Good. Tanning can cause skin cancer."
"You tan!"
"I don't have delicate baby skin," Alexia says and you turn your head back to look at her in disbelief," Skin cancer is scared of me."
From the sunbed next to you, Alba scoffs. Her face is covered in sun cream that hasn't been rubbed in yet. Clearly, she was Alexia's first victim.
"I don't have delicate baby skin!" You insist.
"Yes, you do." Alexia bats your arms away. "Mama made me promise to make sure you two wore your sun cream which means no tanning oil and no fighting me on it! I'm the oldest. I'm in charge!"
"You can't be in charge of me," Alba says," I'm an adult."
Alexia thinks for a moment before nodding. She prods you in the pack. "You're a baby so I'm in charge of you."
You groan. "This is so unfair!"
"Life's unfair," Alexia says impassively," Now, stay still. I might have missed a spot."
You're pretty sure she dumped the whole bottle on you.
Alexia's a hoverer. She always has been and she always will be.
Her arm is slung around your shoulders as you make your way down the street to find some food. She's insisted on getting you a big floppy hat to protect your face even though she's completely drowned it in sun cream.
"I'm kind of craving seafood," Alba says," Seafood and pasta."
You nod. "I want pasta too."
Alexia nods along. "Pasta sounds good."
"I want dessert as well," You continue.
"That's such a good idea!" Alba agrees quickly," I could kill for some warm cookie dough right now."
You nearly drool at the thought. "With whipped cream."
"And caramel sauce!"
Alba grabs your hand, pulling you out of the security of Alexia's arm and starts sprinting down the street, to where all the restaurants have lined up their menus for the night.
You allow yourself to be dragged, easily keeping pace with her.
You turn to look behind you. "Ale, come on!"
Alexia catches up in record time, grabbing your other hand.
"Seafood, pasta and cookie dough," She laughs," I want dough balls too."
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jozor-johai · 6 months ago
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This is just a short note I will expand on elsewhere, but GRRM has this somewhat infamous quote about LOTR, about what to do with the orcs after the story ends. This is about rulership—what happens after the conquest?
Ruling is hard. This was maybe my answer to Tolkien, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. Lord of the Rings had a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper. We look at real history and it’s not that simple. Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Tolkien doesn’t ask the question: What was Aragorn’s tax policy? Did he maintain a standing army? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these orcs? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the orcs aren’t gone – they’re in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles?
Part of what I love to death about ASOIAF is that it seems fundamentally more interested in these questions than the excitement of the conquest itself.
I see this quote brought up about the Others every once in a while, but I also think that we might be seeing one iteration of this idea with Dany in Meereen and the children of the slavers:
“The Sons of the Harpy are laughing in their pyramids,” Skahaz said, just this morning. “What good are hostages if you will not take their heads?” In his eyes, she was only a weak woman. Hazzea was enough. What good is peace if it must be purchased with the blood of little children? “These murders are not their doing,” Dany told the Green Grace, feebly. “I am no butcher queen.” (ADWD Dany IV)
There are obvious differences—for a start, humans have the potential to grow up to be anything, rather than the known entity of the inherent evil when it comes to orcs.
In an ASOIAF-relevant context, though, the question is similar: you won, do you eradicate your enemies? Their remaining families? What if it looks like a direct path to peace for those you were fighting for? “What good is peace if it must be purchased with the blood of little children?”
Considering that slavery is some of the clearest evil we’ve seen in the books thus far, I think this is one way GRRM is be bringing his thoughts on fantasy rulership to a more human context in ASOIAF.
The issue of letting the children live (or not) also makes for another very interesting parallel between Dany and Robert Baratheon, who is another key figure in ASOIAF’s exploration for how one rules after the battle has been won. Barristan makes the connection nearly explicitly for the reader, standing up for Ned’s name:
“Your Grace,” said Selmy, “Eddard Stark played a part in your father’s fall, but he bore you no ill will. When the eunuch Varys told us that you were with child, Robert wanted you killed, but Lord Stark spoke against it. Rather than countenance the murder of children, he told Robert to find himself another Hand.” (ADWD Dany II)
Robert was faced with the same choice and, over the course of his reign, has been given two different takes, one to start his reign and one at the end of it. Robert’s peace was bought with the blood of Rhaegar’s children, the young Aegon and Rhaenys, delivered—albeit unsolicited—by the Lannisters, to cement Robert’s legitimacy and their own stake in his rule. At the end of his reign, Robert is faced with the premise of a new Targaryen baby being born and Ned offers an contrary opinion much like Dany’s own (in spirit if not in allegiance):
“Robert, I ask you, what did we rise against Aerys Targaryen for, if not to put an end to the murder of children?”
There’s plenty more to be said, but I just want to point out this angle for interpreting the GRRM LOTR quote. For one, sometimes people take issue with how literally GRRM himself is enacting his criticisms (saying things like, 'we never see Robert's tax policy either')—but this is a great example of how GRRM can raise a criticism that fits for a different series and make it work within his own world by adjusting the circumstances.
Also, I think that for discussions that attempt to predict where the story will go from here based on comments like this from GRRM, it’s important to see where GRRM is already exploring these ideas. In ASOIAF, this sort of application doesn’t require this idea to be explored with some kind of similarly-undying evil like the orcs or like Sauron, GRRM is applying these ideas to much more human evils, like slavery, and much more human applications, like any kind of military victory.
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n1ght0f-nyx · 7 months ago
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woven bonds pt 4
pert'ah x fem reader
you've struggled with sleep since you first moved in with your arranged orc husband, one night you find him awake in front of the hearth, drawing quietly
tags/warnings- arranged marriage, human female x male orc, gentle giant, your starting to develop feelings for big man
also feel free to request non-woven bonds related things that involve pert'ah or my other ocs (see my masterlist) i love writing for all these characters and seeing the mass of support ive gotten over the last month!
word count-1025
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The fire crackled softly in the hearth, its warm, golden light flickering across the small room. You were curled up on the straw mattress, a blanket pulled up to your chin as you tried to sleep, but rest wouldn’t come. It hadn’t for weeks now—not since your father had sold you to this…orc. You didn’t even know how long it had been since you arrived in the orc’s encampment. Days blurred together in a haze of resentment and exhaustion.
You shifted under the covers, your eyes squeezing shut as you willed sleep to take over. But the soft, almost rhythmic scratching sound near the fire caught your attention. You opened your eyes and turned your head just slightly. Pert’ah was seated by the fire, his broad, muscular form hunched over something in his lap.
You studied him, curiosity tugging at you despite the cold distance you had tried to maintain. His rough features—large tusks, strong jaw, and dark green skin—were cast in soft shadows by the firelight. His long, dark hair was tied back, leaving his sharp, intelligent eyes exposed. He was so different from the human men you had known, yet there was something almost peaceful about him at this moment.
He didn’t notice you watching him as he worked. His large hand moved with surprising gentleness, guiding a piece of charcoal across the page of an old, worn book. The scratching sound was his sketching. It struck you as strange at first—an orc, known for their brute strength, sitting quietly by the fire, creating art.
Your gaze drifted to the rest of the room—his space, now shared with you. It was small but organized with care, wooden furniture crafted by hand and everything in its place. There were his weavings, hung neatly on the walls, adding splashes of color to the otherwise drab space. You had always kept your distance from him and his belongings, but tonight, your defenses felt weaker. Maybe it was the late hour or the quietness of the moment, but you couldn’t help but feel a small spark of curiosity.
Slowly, quietly, you rose from the mattress and tiptoed toward him, careful not to disturb the peace. He still hadn’t noticed you, his focus entirely on the sketch he was working on. You hesitated just a few feet away, unsure if you should say something or return to bed. Before you could make up your mind, his hand stilled, and his head lifted slightly.
“Why you awake?” His voice was low and gruff but not unkind. He still hadn’t turned to face you.
You swallowed, caught off guard by the question. “I…couldn’t sleep,” you mumbled.
He nodded, still looking down at his work. “Fire helps. Calm mind.”
You shuffled awkwardly, unsure how to respond. His broken English always made conversations feel a bit stilted, but you could tell he was trying. He always tried. Despite everything, Pert’ah had never been cruel to you. Frustratingly kind, even. Still, the bitterness of your situation gnawed at you, making it hard to accept any gesture of goodwill.
“What are you drawing?” you asked softly before you could stop yourself.
Pert’ah finally turned his head toward you, his expression unreadable in the firelight. He hesitated for a moment, then held out the book in your direction.
You took a tentative step closer, eyes darting down to the page. Your breath caught in your throat.
It was a sketch of you.
In the drawing, you were lying asleep, the blanket pulled up around your shoulders. It was a peaceful image, detailed and precise. The lines were soft, capturing your form with care. He had been drawing you without your knowledge, but there was no malice in the action—just quiet observation.
You stared at it, unsure of how to feel. His drawing was beautiful, but the thought of him watching you sleep, even harmlessly, made your skin prickle. “Why did you draw me?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Pert’ah looked back at the sketch, then at you. “You are…here. In my life now. I want remember this. Peaceful moment.”
Your chest tightened. A part of you wanted to snap at him, tell him that you weren’t here by choice, that nothing about this was peaceful to you. But another part of you—the part that saw the care he put into that drawing—felt…something else. Something softer.
You didn’t say anything for a moment, unsure of what to do with this strange mixture of emotions.
Pert’ah’s gaze fell to the floor. “I sorry… if this upset you,” he mumbled, his shoulders slumping slightly.
“No,” you said quickly, surprising yourself. “It’s just… unexpected. But it’s���” You paused, searching for the right word. “It’s nice.”
He nodded once, clearly unsure how to respond to your hesitant compliment. The awkwardness lingered between you like an invisible barrier, but it wasn’t as heavy as it had been before. You glanced at the sketch again, still processing how gentle his work was despite his imposing exterior.
Without thinking, you reached out toward the page, wanting to take a closer look. Pert’ah, moving at the same time, reached to turn the page, and your hands brushed together.
The touch was brief, just the lightest contact, but it felt like a jolt of electricity had passed between you. Both of you froze. Your eyes flicked up to meet his, and you saw the surprise mirrored in his expression.
The air in the room seemed to still. Your heart thudded in your chest, and you didn’t pull your hand away. Neither did he. It was a simple touch, nothing more, but the warmth of his skin against yours lingered, refusing to fade.
Pert’ah was the first to break the silence. He pulled his hand back slowly, looking down at the book as if embarrassed by the moment. “I… make you new blanket,” he muttered, his voice quieter now. “Orc blankets warm...Keep you comfortable.”
You swallowed hard, feeling the tension settle back into the air. “Thank you,” you whispered, stepping back toward the mattress. Your hand still tingled from the brief contact, and you weren’t sure why it affected you so much. You shouldn’t care. You shouldn’t let any of this matter.
But it did.
As you lay back down, you glanced at Pert’ah once more. He had returned to his sketching, but his movements were slower, more hesitant. You could still feel the faint trace of warmth where his hand had touched yours. It was a small, fleeting moment, but it stuck with you, lingering long after the fire had burned low.
Maybe it was the quiet of the night, or maybe it was something else entirely, but for the first time since you’d arrived, you didn’t feel completely alone.
In the quiet darkness, your thoughts churned, and for the first time, you wondered if perhaps things might change—if maybe, just maybe, you could learn to see Pert’ah not as the orc who had taken you, but as the quiet, kind soul who had always offered more than you could give in return.
You weren’t ready to admit it to yourself, not yet. But something had shifted tonight, something you couldn’t quite put into words.
And for the first time in weeks, sleep came easier than before.
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astroyongie · 1 month ago
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˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚ Special March Podcast ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚
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➤ Note: Yesterday on my podcast we have covered quite a few things! To celebrate my birthday I decided to share a sum up of what was shared.
➤ All was done live through tarot. Take with a grain of salt. Names censored for obvious reasons.
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➤ NCT 127: X has been known in the industry for being quite an opened person when it comes to relationships. Although he has done several age ranges (all legal ones), it seems like X now only go for people around the 20-24. At least, that's his preference of age.
➤ Red Velvet: X back in the day, was super close to another member's partner who was an idol all of you know about. However, despite X not having a crush on this idol or anything, there was some type of attraction here. X became way too close with that idol which made her member break up with the idol.  
➤ Stray Kids: Many people asked why did X finally gave in into a relationship after so long of not accepting one. That's maybe because the people who wanted a relationship with him never made him feel safe enough and probably overwhelmed him. He is dating an idol.
➤ Aespa: X feels like her idol image is unrealistic and she feels really sad and pity when people compliment her looks or when she hears fans telling her that they want to be like her. Because X knows that everything she shows isn't the reality and that her idol image is very different from who she is. Also there's a lot of jealousy and competition between her and the other members for spotlight and opportunities
➤ TXT: X keeps repeating the cycles. Back in 2021-2022 when he was dating that well known idol, she broke up with him because she thought he had cheated on her with her best friend. which wasn't the case. Recently, X went to a private airy with his partner and a few friends. During that party one girl friend got really drunk (passed out). He tried to be a good man, and take her to a private room so she could rest, but the scene might have looked very wrong when his partner got inside the room.
➤ Gidle: X had had such a hard life when it comes to men that it is really good to see her being happy with someone finally. She is making peace with her traumas and getting better
➤ Seventeen: X is married since 2024 (elope). He isn't the only idol who have small "marriages through paper signing". 
➤ Blackpink: X's relationship is a serving one, where she can get what she needs from her partner and he can get his fetishism. X also does not enjoy the fan contact (people bothering her in the street, asking for hugs or pics can often annoy her).
➤ BTS: X's dating rumor was at the beginning nothing but a marketing move. However the more it went the more it had severe consequences in his personal life
➤ Itzy: You can expect some great news for Itzy as a global (this summer from what I gathered). Either a solo (not Yeji's), a tour, a full comeback, a member leaving or a disband. X is also currently dating someone twice her age
➤ Ateez: X has been for the past months having a fling with a woman who wasn't married but she had a kid and was around the baby daddy (he seemed to be quite toxic and not present). This girl didn't wanted to be in a relationship with X for obvious reasons. But it seems that recently they got together, simply because X showed what it meant to be present, to provide and to love.
➤ IVE: X is currently in a. very discreet/secret relationship because she is seeing a political man (who seen to be older and married). Red party from what we gathered int he podcast.
➤ The Boyz: X has been having this fling with someone who was in a relationship. However X must have either been too much, too overwhelming or they might be too scary for this person as they decided to leave Seoul just to get away from X who might have been forcing them to be around.
➤ Le Sserafim: X has been the cause for a recent divorce and also she is currently in a relationship with brown hair male idol. his last performance he was dressed in full white 
➤ Enhypen: X is really conservative when it comes to his values, his morals and his way of leaving. despite being someone extremely loyal to his partners he also expect from the to be the typical traditional Korean house wife. He doesn't get in relationship with women who aren't "pure"
➤Twice: X might be planing either a marriage or moving out together with her idol partner
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miyamoratsumuu · 9 months ago
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in love all over again
↳ as you walked down the aisle, the song that described the story of your love played in the background. or your wedding with them as opm (original pinoy music) songs note: lyrics are translated to english, and reader is referred to as the character's "wife" at the second song first song aka the one with iwa may or may not be specifically written for @berrisweet hihi my fav filo iwa enthusiast 🫶🏻
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now playing, MUNDO (world) - IV Of Spades hold on tight, so you don't slip away. my love, you are now my home and my world let us forget the world, so we can be together
you were his anchor, and every time he looked you in the eyes was a silent plea for you to never let go. he prayed that you stay with him as nothing else mattered right now. not when he was standing face to face with his whole world right in front of the altar.
ᯓ iwaizumi hajime, miya atsumu, oikawa toru, kageyama tobio, kozume kenma, keigo takami, nanami kento, higuruma hiromi
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now playing, LIGAYA (happiness) - mrld isn’t your heart torn about where to go? how about towards me, my love? please don’t worry, I won’t leave you alone. I will be with you, until the end
he made a promise to be the one to ground you when anxiety and worry swallowed you whole. he swore to be your happiness until the end. and now here you were, the both of you with grins as wide as they could be as you were announced husband and wife.
ᯓ bokuto kotaro, hinata shouyo, sugawara koushi, midoriya izuku, kaminari denki
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now playing, UNANG SAYAW (first dance) - nobita until the last step of our dance, I know that I will love you forever I'll dance with you slowly, until you realize that I'm the one you need, and the one you want to marry
he told the moon about you, and danced with you right under the moonlit sky. you convinced him that he can find the love of his life. and now that he was your husband, he's sure that he'll be spending the rest of his life loving you.
ᯓ nishinoya yuu, kuroo tetsuro, kirishima eijiro, sero hanta, geto suguru
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now playing, KUMPAS (compass) - moira dela torre I hope you can accept who I really am you are the sanctuary that I need even if you don’t know how many times you saved me. you are my destination, and my ending.
you were an unexpected blessing that gently broke down the walls he built to hide himself from the rest of the world. long before today, he dedicated to spend the rest of his life to you, his compass. him slipping the ring on your finger only solidified that dedication.
ᯓ tsukishima kei, sakusa kiyoomi, ushijima wakatoshi, bakugou katsuki, shinsou hitoshi, shoji mezou, gojo satoru
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now playing, ARAW-ARAW (everyday) - ben&ben our eyes must have known each other long before they've met. how did you slowly captivate my heart? I will choose you now and everyday. what I feel for you is clear
he finds peace in just looking into your eyes. it's a sensation he can't explain. and no matter how many people he's looked in the eyes his entire life, he would choose your gaze looking back at him any day. and as you begin to share the same last name today, he's more than happy to be part of your every day.
ᯓ akaashi keiji, sawamura daichi, kita shinsuke, yamaguchi tadahi, todoroki shoto, rody soul, gojo satoru
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navigation . . . ║ haikyuu masterlist ║ mha masterlist
a/n: this has been rotting in my drafts for a while now but since I was already emptying out my drafts
++ not to be biased but I absolutely love the concept of filipino love songs. especially unang sayaw, I had to hold back on writing a whole fic for it IT'S SO DOMESTIC AND SOFT AND AAAAAAAGH I LOVE IT also I think listening to the songs while reading this is really nice even though it's really short
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xq1zi · 5 months ago
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look of love
gaara x reader
warnings: not proof read, english not first language, and no capitalization.
word count: 2.4k
A/N: gaara needs more love. also i recommend the song “strangers in the night” by frank sinatra. it describes this fic perfectly i think and it wasn’t even intentional lol. also this kinda dumb
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when the chunin exams had begun you weren't there due to being away on a mission with your parents. and when you came back so much had happened such as sasuke leaving the village. naruto going to go train with master jiraiya.
you would be filled in once you came back and saddened that you didn't get a chance to say goodbye to nartuo. but wasn't the end of the world since what caught your interest was the three they called the “sand village siblings”.
and was told how scarry a guy called “gaara” was. sure when this was told to you all of it already happened so you had nothing to worry about but still left a bad taste in your tongue.
but nowadays its peace was made with the sand village so nothing goes on with them anymore you gradually forgot about them. then you were told to go assist team 10 going to save the current kazekage.
after the cheering and sad moment for lady chiyo, he had gotten up to go back home. but he had looked around for a second to see who had come. then your eyes met.
it could be because he's never seen you. or simply you caught his eye for some reason. but for that moment it felt like staring into a person you've known for years. comfort. but it ended as quickly as it started.
then everyone went back to the village and naruto suggested that they should go out to eat. so many went to a restaurant to celebrate the fact that gaara is alive.
the restaurant had a second level balcony and you went out to get fresh air for a little while. then the door slides open. “oh, i didn't realize someone was already here.” a quiet voice says.
“oh no, don't stop because of me here.” you invited gaara to come out with you.
“i don't think we've met before. i was certain i had met everyone of naruto friends by now” he spoke again. “i was on a mission when you first came to leaf village so i didn't have a chance to meet you. im [name] nice to meet you.” your eyes couldnt leave his.
“same to you. gaara but i'm sure you knew that by now…” silent grew but looking into each other's eyes you didn't even notice it one bit.
but subconsciously without thinking, you blurted out the one thing that should've been kept inside. “you look so beautiful..,” quickly slapping your hand over your face and turning away from him.
when you saw him like this your cheeks reddeden even more but this time from the way he looks so cute in this moment. but as it was his power to interpret, nartuo came in looking for gaara. “GAARA THERE YOU ARE HERE COME DOWN- huh what are you guys doing here”
“nothing naruto, just getting to know one another since this is my first time meeting” you said back to him.” “oh okay!,” he gave his big smile “GAARA LET'S GO COME ON” he screamed even more, “very well, nice to meet you, hope we meet again.” he looked at you, seemingly not wanting to go. “yeah..same” both of you stand there before naruto starts yelling again.
a few days passed and you can't stop thinking about the feeling you got with gaara. then as it seems like luck was on your side you were given an assessment to go and give documents to the sand village. after three days of travel you arrived at the sand village. you were at the kazekage doors.
after you knock you hear his voice. “come in.” you opened the door and he looks at you with surprise. “ive came to drop off some reports from what..well you know happened.” you said a bit shyly.
“ah, yes t-thank you.” hes a bit red. “w-well ill be going now.” you said. “w-wait! well arent you tired? y-you should sleep before going,” gaara said without thinking.
not sure of what he was doing he continued on. “you can sleep within my residence, as a guest of the kazekage. rest for a while.” he was still timid but calmed down.
“you sure? i wouldn’t want to be bothersome.” everything seems like it’s coming to place. “you wouldn't, i can assure.” he replied.
“well i guess a quick power nap wouldn’t hurt,” you didn’t sleep that well and you could use a hot shower. “okay i’ll take you up on that offer.”
“good here, follow me.” he said. you two walked for a bit and got to the entrance of his home. then we walked over to a room.
it was nice and tidy. “take my room. my bed is more comfortable than the one in the guest bedroom.” don’t know why he brought you to his own room. but he felt so comfortable with you that he didn’t mind it.
“oh thank you so much.” you said in a genuine tone. “yes, no problem, have a nice nap.” he smiled at you then left to go back to his duties. once his presence left the room you quickly felt your heart racing. why was he making you feel this way? surely it can’t just be you feeling this away.
and you would come to the right conclusion because little to your knowledge he also felt his heart beating in a way he can’t explain.
you changed into some sleeping clothes you packed just in case. and slept for a while. but unfortunately the thing that woke you up was gaara coming into the room thinking you’ve already gone home. since it was only going to be a “quick nap”.
“forgive me i thought you would’ve gone home by now.” he said, very sorry for coming in while you slept. “huh?! NO DID I OVERSLEEP…” you shouted just a bit. “seems as though you did.” he said back. “awe man, wasted a whole day. i have to start leaving now.” you said while getting up from the bed and remaking it.
“i’m assuming you haven’t had dinner yet. it’s not good to go on an empty stomach.” gaara had a point there. “do you have anything in mind?” you said. “i can show you a good restaurant if you want,” he suggested. “i haven’t had dinner yet either”
“okay sure let me get ready and i’ll meet you outside” you replied and started to get dressed once he left. after being done you went down and met with him. and walked to the restaurant together. the two of you sat down and ordered.
“thank you so much for letting me sleep. saved me money and sleep deprivation!” he chuckled at the statement. “yes, no problem just wanting to return the favor to the leaf after coming to my aid” conversation was going smoothly. two of you ate and talked like you’ve grown together over the years.
then finally this moment came to a close and two of you stood outside the restaurant. smiles both placed on each other's faces. then when you started saying goodbye you said something.
“hey! gaara…don’t you feel like we’ve known each other for years. for some reason i’m so comfortable with you.” you said in a soft tone.
“well, yes i do feel like that. i thought i was simply imagining it.” he gave you a soft answer.
“my heart is telling me to keep seeing you or at least keep in touch…hope that doesn’t sound too crazy if you know what i mean.” you chuckled.
“no,not at all, i wouldn't mind. we can exchange letters until we meet again.”
“oh that 's so great! bye gaara!! you’ll get a letter from me once i arrive okay?!” you left giddy knowing that you took a risk and it paid off. faith is certainly doing its course.
over the past couple of months you and gaara exchanged letters. you would wait for his letter to come every time. of course many took notice now a certain type of bird will find you and hand you a letter. it would be rare that you two would meet but every time it was perfect.
“[name] spill we know you have a mystery man.” sakura said while ino stood next to her. “yeah we’ve been dying to know!!” ino went next.
cheeks red from the sudden accusation. you start to rebuttal them. “huh?! i don’t have a mystery man, what are you guys on about!” you wave your hand at them.
“lies! you receive letters from him and every time you read them your face smiles from ear to ear.” sakura shouting at you. this continues on for a bit after you reveal that it's been gaara you’ve been talking to. but nothing is going on.
“nothing going on my butt, you clearly have feelings for him!” ino said. “oh my it’s quite literally love at first sight!” sakura smiled. “sakura what are you on about?! It's nothing like that.” you defend yourself even though deep down you know it’s the truth.
“you can’t even hide it well. your eyes light up so much when you see his letter.” ino remarks. you don’t speak knowing it’s true. “you can’t even say anything because you know it’s true” sakura teased.
while you were enduring this torture, gaara seemily was also going through the same things.
“hey gaara i’ve been wondering who sends you so much letters.” kankuro said. “hey! i was just thinking the same thing!!” temari stated.
“oh, it’s nothing really. just a friend.” they both gave “ohhh”s. “who it’s it naruto? man is he surely consistent with them.” kankuro said. “well it’s a she so it’s not naruto” gaara corrected him. both of them were confused and shocked. “it's a girl?! who!?” temari interested in what her little brother is doing.
“she’s from the leaf. we met when they came to our rescue. for some reason we connected right away.” gaara said bluntly.
“are you serious? i wouldn’t take you for a person who would connect right away.” kankuro laughed. “well who is she? you haven’t answered that.” temari asked again.
“her name is [name].she wasn’t there when we took the chunin exams. so you didn’t get to meet her.” he answered. he gave a slight smile when talking about you.
“gaara do you like her as a friend or something more? you seem to light up as you talk above her.” temari teased him. “you should definitely ask her out if you do” kankuro joined in.
“it’s nothing like that.” gaara defended himself while a tint of pink appeared on his cheeks. this continued for a while seemingly with no end. but at the end of the day both of you came to the same conclusion. you both had a crush on each other.
when finally it came time for you two to see each other again. it was a bit awkward. “so gaara how have you been..?” you asked shyly while walking. “good, a bit tiring but nonetheless good.” he replied back.
“good, good, uhm gaara do you want to go somewhere? i know a really good place.” you said to him. “sure, lead the way.” he smiled at you.
while you led the way you too talked. with those quick silent moments where you two just look at each other with a deep understanding. just like falling in love.
“look gaara, how beautiful the view is!,” you said while looking over the beach as the sun goes down. and the waterfall falling into the water make a nice and calming sound that you can just fall asleep too.
“here!, come!! sit! look at this view gaara isn’t it great.” you said while being hypnotized by the view.
“yes. it is certainly beautiful.” gaara said but not looking at the view rather at you. the two of you sat there for a while listening to the waves and wind. you gave a sigh “gaara… i feel like i’ve known you for so long… i feel so safe around you.” you turned now looking into his eyes. drowning in them you lose yourself in them.
“i feel the same. not sure why but i want to stay close to you.” he turned red because he never felt so open like this before.
“me too…can i be honest gaara?,” he nodded so you continued. “i have feelings for you… when i first saw you i felt a sudden connection i know it sound silly-”
“it doesn’t. it’s not silly.” he interrupted you. “you sure?” you giggled. “i’m sure.” his smile was so bright.
“would you like to be with me?” he said. it was sudden even though you felt the same you were so shy to answer. “y-yes. i would!” you said while turned red. “good. thank you.” he pulled into a hug and kiss the top of your head.
after a couple of hours you two returned to his home. as it was closer. “so now that we are together…what do we do?” you asked.
“not sure what you mean.” he was confused. “i mean do you want to cuddle and sleep together?” you nervously laughed. “you can if you want.” he looked away with a slight blush. “you look cute, did i tell you that?” you giggled. he blushed even more.
you got ready for bed. his bed was large so certainly enough space for both of you two to have your own space. but you chose not too. embracing each other. and falling asleep as newley lovers. who seemingly fell in love at first sight.
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did guys like it? i worked on it in class lol. i probably would make head canons for him or a part 2 if you guys want!!
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nonsscrapheap · 3 months ago
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for a while now its been plaguing my brain ever since ive been reading @keferon's Mecha Jazz Pilot au and all the other fics close to it, there's also other ideas but this one was persistent after i reread and thought about a certain movie.
james cameron' Avatar (i never watched the second movie)
this is obviously non-canon to the au that keferon has going on, and its just- its self indulgent.
i have no idea if someone else had this thought as well, but here's my take on it. IF SOMEONE DID LINK ME IT, I WANT TO READ IT.
anyway, say bye to jazz! he dies.
also pardon my characterization of the jazz and prowl- this is literally the first time i've ever written the two and i definitely need to read more of them both.
--------------- Mecha Jazz Pilot AU -----------------
Prowl has always known that his time with Jazz would be tragically short, ever since he found out a human's lifespan was barely a vorn, 83 years at best, and it would possibly be shorter because Jazz was a pilot, a warrior, a fighter.
Prowl has felt the loss before, witnessed the death of his fellow Cybertronians in the Quintesson war, it was war after all. But the thought of losing Jazz in the middle of it, of cutting his already short lifespan—
His Tacnet, a blessing and a curse, had a folder of the data of Jazz's possible demise after every battle in percentages and possibility divergences. It's a folder that Prowl refused to acknowledge for longer than necessary and a part of him hated that it was necessary because it gave him ways to prevent any similar incident and ensure Jazz would continue to live but at the same time just reminded him just how fragile humans were.
If Prowl could have his way, he would spend that precious vorn with Jazz in peace. If Prowl could truly have his way, he'd find a way to extend Jazz's life beyond his species' expectancy.
But that is a path that might not sit well with Jazz. Jazz, who unintentionally distracts him from thinking more on it with his ridiculousness, his antics, actions, skills, words, music—
Primus the music.
Constant, be it from Jazz's mecha speakers, to Jazz's humming, to Jazz's rhythmic tapping of both flesh and metal digits or limbs, Jazz switching rhythms time and time again, slow, fast, alternating, Jazz's constant shifting, Jazz smiling at him from inside his mecha
Jazz Jazz Jazz Jazz
Music in his audials as Jazz takes his servos in his mecha body, swinging him around in a familiar makeshift dance
Jazz Jazz Jazz Jazz
Music sounding out as Jazz takes the tentacle of a Quintesson and twists
Jazz Jazz Jazz Jazz
Music barely heard through the echoed screams of the underground tunnels as the Quintessons are trying to reach Primus' spark
Jazz Jazz Jazz Jazz
The moment he stops hearing the music, is the moment he screams. "JAZZ!"
They've won.
The leader of the Quintessons, Quintessa (Jazz would mock their naming skills, Quintessa? Really?) had made one final battle against Cybertron. Trying to breach the planet's core, to reach Primus' very spark which lead everyone diving down into the planet to prevent such a thing from happening.
Quintessa is dead, he hears, but he does not care as he bounds towards his human partner. The mecha is down. The music has stopped.
Primus' spark pulses miles above him, shining down and softly lighting a scene from his grimmest of possibilities. A nightmare come to life. It's hauntingly beautiful and Prowl would scream at the spark of his god to stop if he wasn't so concerned about Jazz at the moment.
Jazz's mecha is splayed on blood-spilt ground, energon and Quintesson blood alike. It's staining the mecha's broken frame, one of his arms is missing, there are holes in the armor and one of his digitigrade legs is barely holding on, bent in ways it shouldn't be able to even in its unique shape.
He does not see red but that doesn't ease his worries at all because Jazz is inside the mecha, red would be inside the mecha. Please don't let there be red in the mecha don't let there be red in the mecha.
There's gasps somewhere behind Prowl as he pries open the mecha's chassis, trying to reach the cockpit and—
10o % R e D
There's a moment of white noise.
There's a body in his servos.
Still and limp.
Red dripping from his digits.
Prowl looks up to his creator's spark and screams.
---------------------------
There is distress near its spark.
There is distress and violence near its spark once more.
Earlier, outsiders had come to it. Tried to harm it.
Familiar, unwelcomed.
Yet an outsider saved it. A different outsider than the ones that tried to attack it.
This one, welcomed, as it had echoes of one of its children's spark lingering by its own, strange spark. Though different, the outsider's spark was. Held in something much softer than protoform. Detached from its other outer hard frame
Curious.
It was not like the other outsiders, that much was clear.
But oh, this outsider has perished. So near to its spark.
That is troubling.
That is sad.
But the outsider's spark lingers, it can feel it. It can hear it.
AmIdead?IsthatProwlerohnoProwlerProwlerI'msorryI'msosorry
Faintly, in quiet, quick whispers.
ScrapProwlernodon't.Don'tshitohProwl
One of his children is in distress and its because of the outsider spark's old soft frame. So much smaller.
RedAlertdon'tyou'rejustgoingtoohfuckwowokayProwlerpunchedRedAlertthat'sohnoProwlerProwlerProwldon't
Its distressed child is fighting its other children now, unwilling to relinquish the old soft frame.
The outsider's spark is equally distressed and was trying to calm its child but could not do so. Because the outsider's small frame has perished, and its poor child could not see the outsider's spark.
LetgoofmeProwlI'msorryit'llit'llbeokayweknewourtimewasshortpleasepleaseProwl
What compassion, this outsider had for its child.
And what grief, its child had for this outsider.
S y m p a t h y
For the first time in a long, long time. It reached out.
Woahwhatthefuck
Its children freeze as it reached out to its grieving child.
Whatishappeningwhatohmygodwhyiswaitdidn'tProwlsaythatCybertron'scorewasPrimus?
The outsider knew its name, how lovely.
C o n f i r m a t i o n
I'mdeadandI'mtalkingtoProwler'sgodwhattheactualfuck
A m u s e m e n t
You'relaughingatmeIcanfeelitwaitwhatareyoudoingwithmymecha
Its child cries out, still holding on to the outsider's soft frame but reaching out to grab the outsider's hard frame in obvious concern. It lightly curls a tiny sliver around its child to gently admonish it.
It needed the hard frame.
HeyheywhatPrimusaliengodwhatareyoudoingwhatareyoudoingwaitwaitwait
Ever so gently, it grabbed the outsider's spark. So strange, so different from its spark and its children. Yet thankfully, similar enough.
IholyfuckIthinkIsawthisinamovieonceareyougoingtofuckingAvatarmewhatthehell
It does not understand the outsider's words, but it does feel the emotions whirling within the outsider's spark. Especially when it starts to fix the hard frame that once held its soft frame.
R e a s s u r a n c e H a p p i n e s s
Why
It guided the outsider's spark towards its child, frozen, still holding the outsider's soft frame. The empty vessel tucked close to it.
BecauseofProwler
So many emotions from this outsider spark, what a wonder it was to find that some outsiders were like its children. And not like other outsiders that tried to harm its children and itself.
Look, it finished fixing the hard frame.
H a p p i n e s s
Woahwoahwoahwaitdon'tIgetachoice?Whycan'tIcomebackasahuman?
It wanted its soft frame back? Curious. Unfortunately, it cannot do the same with its soft frame. Perhaps with its other extensions of itself, the Matrix, the Allspark, there would have been a chance.
But it, itself, cannot use the soft frame.
Besides, there was a perfectly good hard frame right there.
And it is a very wonderful hard frame, very creative! It approves of its design.
Aliengodlikesmymechathat'sgreatnowaitfocus
Time to go, outsider spark.
Huhwhatnowait
Be happy with its child.
Primusholdup
It pulled the outsider's spark into the hard frame, watching as it settled into the hard frame almost immediately.
C o n t e n t
---------------
Jazz felt disoriented as he landed on his feet. Feeling each joint of his legs as he staggered in place but managed to keep balance. "Fucking hell." Jazz groaned, reaching up to rub at his helmet, feeling the smooth metal under his fingertips.
Wait.
Hold the fuck up.
"... Jazz?"
Jazz's head snapped up to see- Prowler. His Prowler standing there with a tear-streaked faceplate of wide-eyed(optic) shock. His own eyes blink (???) as his gaze goes down to Prowl's hands and-
That's his body.
That's his human body in Prowl's hands.
Servos.
What the fuck.
Jazz looks down to his body and- it's his mecha. He's in his mecha but he's not- his hands fly up to his face.
No visor.
Soft metal, just like Prowl's faceplate and-
"Jazz!"
Oop, no time to think! Armfull of Prowler who is still holding on to his dead human body what the fuck.
Instinctively, he wraps his hands around Prowl, dumbfounded and in shock as he tries to process everything. He sees the other Cybertronians, Red Alert chief among them, hesitantly stepping forward.
Jazz looks at them. Then at Prowl. Then at Primus. Then back down to Prowl.
"... I think your god likes me."
Prowl makes a strangled noise that was half a laugh and a sob, "You don't say."
There's a breakdown waiting to happen for Jazz, he's pretty sure.
For the moment though, he's just glad to be able to hug Prowl again.
-----------------
say hi to jazz! he's alive again!
primus ships jazzprowl, spread the word
but yeah definitely self indulgent.
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amalythea · 5 months ago
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omg i love this new event and ive been scrolling thru your acc since i read that one kazuha fic!! if possible, may i pls request 46. “i can't help but wonder if you ever truly loved me.” with kazuha since i need some angsty angst and i adore the way you write him! tysm, and feel free to ignore this request ir you're busy! <333 THANK YOU FOR FEEDING US!
「goodbyes 」
⤷ info: kazuha x gn!reader || angst, hurt/no comfort || wc: 741
⤷ warnings: break up, heartbreak, angst. i cried when writing this. reader is tired, alone and upset guys let's give them a break
⤷ extra: hi!! i'm honored omg thank you!! also i made up the flower (hoping there wasnt one called flame lotus in genshin already)
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The sun had long since dipped below the horizon, leaving the sky painted in deep hues of indigo and violet. The quiet hum of cicadas filled the air, their droning chorus a poor substitute for the voice you had longed to hear. The teapot on the stove had gone cold hours ago, its contents untouched as you sat at the table, staring blankly at the faintly glowing lantern.
Another evening alone. Another night without him.
You tried not to let it weigh on you, tried to understand. Kazuha was a free spirit, a wanderer by nature. You had known this when you first fell for him, when his poems were your only company for weeks at a time. But something in your chest had begun to ache in ways you hadn’t expected, hollow and gnawing, growing with each passing day.
The door creaked open, and his familiar silhouette appeared, framed by the dim light of the moon. He stepped inside quietly, as if afraid to disturb the peace. His soft smile reached you first, a flicker of warmth that you would have once found comforting. Now, it only deepened the bitter weight in your chest.
“Did I keep you waiting?” he asked, his voice as calm as the ocean breeze. He shed his coat, hanging it neatly by the door, and turned to you with those gentle eyes of his.
You shook your head, though the words you wanted to say burned on your tongue.
He moved closer, setting his travel-worn bag by the wall. “I found something today that reminded me of you,” he said, withdrawing a delicate flower from his pocket. The petals were a vibrant red, trembling slightly in his hands. “It’s called a flame lotus. The vendor said it thrives in solitude but burns brighter when it’s nurtured.”
You stared at the flower, at the care he took in holding it, and something inside you snapped.
“Kazuha,” you said, your voice steadier than you felt. “Do I mean anything to you?”
He blinked, startled, the flower dipping slightly in his grasp. “What kind of question is that?”
“I can’t help but wonder,” you continued, the words tumbling out before you could stop them, “if you ever truly loved me.”
The air grew heavy, the cicadas outside suddenly silent. Kazuha’s eyes widened briefly before narrowing with something that might have been hurt or disbelief. He set the flower down carefully, too carefully, as though it might shatter under his touch.
“Why would you think that?” he asked softly, but his voice carried the weight of a thousand storms.
You stood, your chair scraping against the floor, and faced him fully. “Because I feel like I’m always waiting, always hoping you’ll come back, but when you do, it’s like I’m just another stop on your journey. I’ve tried to convince myself that I’m enough, that I can handle the loneliness, but…” Your voice cracked, and you clenched your fists. “But I can’t anymore.”
His gaze dropped, his silence cutting deeper than any argument could. You wanted him to fight, to deny it, to promise you that he loved you, that he needed you. Instead, he simply stood there, the distance between you growing insurmountable.
“I never meant for you to feel this way,” he murmured, his tone laced with regret. “I thought... I thought you understood.”
You let out a hollow laugh, shaking your head. “I thought I did too. But understanding doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
Kazuha opened his mouth, then closed it again, his expression unreadable. The poet, the wanderer, the man who always had a verse ready for every occasion, now had nothing to say.
The silence stretched, oppressive and cold. Finally, you turned away, unable to bear the sight of him any longer. “Maybe it’s better if you go. You’re good at that, aren’t you?”
His sharp intake of breath was the only indication that your words had hit their mark. He didn’t move, not at first, but when you risked a glance over your shoulder, he was already reaching for his coat.
He paused by the door, the flower still sitting untouched on the table between you. “I do love you,” he said quietly, so quietly you almost didn’t hear it. “In my own way.”
And then he was gone, the sound of his footsteps fading into the night. The flame lotus sat there, its vibrant red mocking the emptiness in your chest.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
@amalythea 2024. | do not re-upload, copy, translate, etc. my works on any form of media.
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goblins-riddles-or-frocks · 4 months ago
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Having said my piece on Nosferatu (2024) as an adaptation, I’m still just stewing over it as a separate story
I think it’s interesting that people presenting the movie as only a dark romance between Ellen and Orlok spin their relationship as a means to open a door to her sexual liberation from the stifling norms of society. The idea of society as something she would want to exit
I frankly felt the film was going for the exact opposite. There is certainly a (rather hamfisted) attempt at presenting the Victorian culture and norms she lives in as cruel, patronizing, and misogynistic. But that seemed more in the effort to showcase how society, the sphere of polite respectability, could easily discard her and bar her access. That she is walking a very thin line, where she could so easily be declared mad or sent to an asylum, and essentially dehumanized, as a result of Orlok’s preying on her. The doctor dosing her with laudanum to stop her ravings, or tying her to the bed, all contribute to that
And from how she describes her childhood, and her worsening “melancholy”, it seemed she already came perilously close to that point before, and that it was her marriage that allowed her to claw her way out to a respite of peace and respectability
This ongoing conflict felt the most in conversation with Penny Dreadful to me. The movie did not have the run time or the interest really to explore what life looked like for her before the movie began. But, tangentially, the broader overlap Ellen has with Vanessa Ives, make me speculate about the passing details we get about her mother’s death, and there being some sort of tipping point with her father where he accused her of being “unclean” after she was found sleepwalking naked. Compared to the way Penny Dreadful uses Vanessa’s possession/ongoing curse as a metaphor/vehicle to expand through subtext her likely having experienced sexual abuse or a traumatizing expression of sexual interest from a father figure— which would tie into why leaving the family home was what put a stop to the psychic sexual assault. And also explain why she was begging for an angel to help her in the first place
Because of the emphasis on how alienated and alone she was because of the ongoing abuse, and the threat of societal dehumanization, I found it particularly effective when Thomas returns from Transylvania with a new understanding of her trauma, having undergone similar trauma himself. When she could not speak of anything supernatural (or traumatic) or be affected by it without being dismissed as mad or unclean, which could in turn become a total dismissal of her humanity. Where Orlok in his knowledge of her abuse, as the perpetrator of it, is the only source of understanding and acknowledgment, her being offered that through Thomas is significant
In the same vein, I really liked him realizing far too early that the hunt for Orlok was a false one, and also the moment when he finds her just at the point of death, and holds her hand
The theme that she may be doomed, that she may never have had a real way out, but that at least she achieved a real connection and was known by someone else, outside of Orlok, without them recoiling or dismissing her, is a poignant one
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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 4 months ago
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Damn that ivy fic hurt so good I need another.
How about ivy x reader but iii is in love with reader too but always thought she only loved him as an older brother but on a random friday she‘s tipsy and confessed to him that she had a huge crush on him but he never made a move but ivy did and she eventually fell in love with him?
Love in depths of silence
iii had always been a class clown. Never cared much for it. Never cared that he looked silly or unserious. He enjoyed it. Letting his bubbly personality show. It was him being his true self just… minus the deeply loving and caring side. When you had walked in with just as much sas he knew you were gonna get along just fine. And boy had he underestimated.
Crew often joked that you two should never be left alone unsupervised because if not one then the other was dancing on top of the tables or trying to prove that one could lift the leg higher than the other. There was constant laughter with you. Genuine one. One that made him giddy inside for hours as he thought back on it. But there was also a deeper part to this. One where you two would only have to look at one another to feel it. The pull. The slowly growing desire. They say that eyes never lied and in this case, they did the most talking.
When the flirting started it was hard to distinguish it from silly banter. So the push and pull started. That night in London after the fully sold-out arena happened. The thrill of it all. The buzzing in the air. The pins and needles in the fingers. The dim back room. iii’s hand in your hair as he pressed you against the wall. That kiss had it all. The longing. The desire. The love blossoming in silence. You had been the outlet and then when he had seen your big eyes looking back at him as he pulled away. He had panicked. Fully panicked he spewed something about this being a mistake as he stumbled back into the main room.
It had all shifted after that. For a handful of weeks, you two had fully ignored each other. iii knew that he had to be the one who had to take the first step. But how do you make a comeback after that? So he waited. Watched. You slowly went back to a somewhat similar banter. And after thinking of it for days he had finally bit the dust and went up to your hotel room. Palms sweating as he waited for you to answer. “Hey”, your cheeks were flushed, only a button-up jacket over your frame. “Hi, I was…”, iii frowned slightly as he let himself drink you in. “I…”, “Baby, who is that?”, that voice alone sends iii’s heart falling to his feet. “Did you need something?”, you asked softly but all iii can focus on now are the rustling sheets and the sound of footsteps. His shirtless bandmate walking from the back side of the room. “Hey, dude what’s up?”, iv says casually pulling his pants back up. iii honestly felt like laughing. No, the first reaction was to punch iv actually but he knew he had no right to so he had to back away. “Can’t seem to find my phone, thought that I maybe…”, iii was quick to shrug, “Actually maybe I do know where it could be”. And he’s turning so quickly he’s surprised he doesn’t tumble.
It was one agony-filled pretend fest after that. His only salvation was that you two didn’t seem too keen on public affection but even then fate would pull him to you. Making sure he would end up in the back room just as you were straddling iv, kissing him. Eyes falling to your interlinked fingers as you walked back to the bus. Ivy’s clothes you wore. He had a feeling that he could have had that. That it had been right there but he had fucked it.
And he had thought that he was starting to get over it. That he would move on. Make peace with it. Should have known it was a fool’s dream. The moment you stepped into the pub for that post-tour celebration. All iii could do was look at you. The lace dress. The heels. You were a vision. A fucking apparition he had been chasing for months now. One that had given him a fleeting hug before settling on iv’s lap.
“You’re quiet”, you nudged his shoulder as most of the guys had taken it upon themselves to either go dance or refill everyone’s drinks. “Just tired”, iii shrugged. You were inches apart. He could feel the warmth from your body. Smell your perfume. Then you just let out a giggle as you shook your head. “What’s so funny?”, he asked turning to you slightly. “Just… you know I had the biggest crush on you”, you mussed still shaking your head, “and I still think that you’re an ass for what you did”. iii wrapped his hand around his glass tightly, “I apologized”, “Did you?”, you asked bitterly. “I was pinning after you like an idiot and then you had pretty much called me one too”, you sighed, staring ahead. “Ever thought about the fact that maybe I had feelings for you too?”, iii bit back. “Oh, please”, you rolled your eyes. “I’ve been in love with you for months and I fucking blew it all out the window”, iii put his glass down on the table running a hand over his face. “Iii”, “Don’t give me that pity party boo shit”, he grumbled pushing out of the booth. “Don’t you fucking walk away”, you hissed following after him just his steps were a lot bigger and faster. “Iii this is your last warning”, you grunted as you both pushed into the called night. “Or what?”, he turned back harshly. You two were all up in each other’s faces at this point. “Or I will let go and you will never be able to reach me”, you whispered. “Go back inside”, iii said coldly, “your boyfriend is looking for you no doubt”. “You’re being an asshole again”, you muttered. “Just let me go”, he shook his head, stepping backwards. “Do you really want me so bad if you’re walking away for the second time?”, you muttered bitterly. “You don’t know shit about it”, iii shook his head, walking away.
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lychniis · 1 year ago
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⚘ ― EVENFALL ! ( valentines day event ).
( # )ㅤ evenfallㅤ —ㅤ twilight ; dusk. the period or the light from the sky between full night and sunrise or between sunset and full night.
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syn. a valentines day / white day event inspired by hozier lyrics ( and also seconding as my 1000 follower event i suppose XD ). feel free to drop by and select a prompt from the list below alongside a flower / genre. you could always opt for more flowers. however please note that minors are not allowed to request for / interact with nsfw works. please note that the maximum character limit is three.
this was more of a last minute bout of silliness, but i'd love to write some requests for you guys after supporting me and my bs for nearly two years now XD. so hey hey, my inbox is open to be raided! i'm currently taking this event for genshin impact and honkai star rail!
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prompts. the prompts and flowers available are listed below. you can request a single prompt + one of more flowers of your choice! you could also add some additional suggestions if you'd like, say a setting or an au or a scenario! requests close by the 20th of febuary. i'll start posting on white day, march 14th.
daisy — fluff.
hyacinth — angst.
tulip — crack / humor.
orchid — smut.
i. ❛ there’s nothing sweeter than my baby. ❜
ii. ❛ no grave can hold my body down, i’ll crawl home to her. ❜
iii. ❛ you knew who i was with every step that i ran to you. ❜
iv. ❛ some like to imagine. the dark caress of someone else. i guess any thrill will do. ❜
v. ❛ honey, when you kill the lights and kiss my eyes. i feel like a person for a moment of my life. ❜
vi. ❛ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❜
vii. ❛ honey please, try to love me. my love will never die. ❜
viii. ❛ know that i would gladly be the icarus to your certainty, oh my sunlight. ❜
ix. ❛ you don’t understand, you should never know, how easy you are to need. ❜
x. ❛ idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on his sword. ❜
xi. ❛ honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips. ❜
xii. ❛ i'm so full of love I could barely eat. ❜
xiii. ❛ honey you're familiar, like my mirror years ago. ❜
xiv. ❛ i know who i am when i’m alone. i’m something else when i see you. ❜
xv. ❛ there’s something tragic about you. ❜
xvi. ❛ there’s nothing sweeter than my baby. ❜
xvii. ❛ still my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man’s beliefs. ❜
xviii. ❛ i’ve known the warmth of your doorways. through the cold, i’ll find my way back to you. ❜
xix. ❛ screaming the name of a foreigner's god, the purest expression of grief. ❜
xx. ❛ i couldn’t utter my love when it counted, but i’m singing like a bird about it now.
xxi. ❛ the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you. ❜
xxii. ❛ i’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. ❜
xxiii. ❛ i have never known peace like the damp grass that yields to me. ❜
xxiv. ❛ honey please, try to love me. my love will never die. ❜
xxv. ❛ i had been lost to you, sunlight, and flew like a moth to you. ❜
xxvi. ❛ it’s not my arms that will fail me, but this world takes more strength than it gave me. ❜
xxvii. ❛ i need you to run to me, run until you feel your lungs bleeding. ❜
xxviii. ❛ i will not ask where you came from. i will not ask and neither should you. ❜
xxix. ❛ be still, my foolish heart. don't ruin this on me. ❜
xxx. ❛ honey, i wanna race you to the table, if you hesitate, the getting is gone. ❜
( all the dialog prompts presented here are taken from songs by hozier. i own none of them. )
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EVENT WORKSㅤ •ㅤ ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN
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kittycomet · 26 days ago
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✨️🌙Lucidia🌸✨️
hey chat so there's this sheep lesbian,
uhhh anyways cringefail regretevator ocxcanon oc ive been eating drywall over for the past few months (she's a follykisser lol lmao)
lore and info under the cut <333 i hope you guys love her as much as i do hehehe
sorry if its like way too much i just need to share Everything abt her ok? ok
A gentle shepherdess and the caretaker of the Meadow of Dreams.
Her floor is a shop and rest floor, with items to buy (usually recovery and helpful items) scattered across. The Meadow is unnaturally colored, soft pastel pinks and purples and blues. There are constellations always in the sky, regardless of time of day. In the center is a pond beneath a tree with pink flowers. Entering the pond gradually recovers your health.
She is kind, gentle peace-loving soul, very soft spoken. A far cry from Folly's violent nature. Very compassionate and curious, almost naive, though that's to be expected when you're new to an entirely new world you previously had known nothing about. She finds joy and beauty in almost everything around her, only wanting to share this joy with everyone.
She was once an angel created by a goddess as a servant, carrying out messages from the gods to mortals by entering their dreams. She was endlessly and forever devoted to her, loving her the way one would love a mother, but the goddess saw her as no more than a tool. She was far from perfect, and often did not meet the standards she was held to. The goddess of order disliked this greatly.
One day during a celebration of the gods, the goddess was given the gift of a new servant by a friend. One that would be far more obedient than even Lucidia, and would be much better at anything Lucidia ever did.
Lucidia was none the wiser to what was soon to become her fate, happily watching over the celebration she never got to be part of. She didn't mind at all, in fact, she was content with this, though deep within herself she wondered what it was like to be a part of such an event.
That night, after everything had concluded, the goddess called Lucidia for one final task. To purify her soul of sin.
Lucidia was distraught. How could she be sinful? What had she done to ruin herself in this way? Little did she know, the goddess lied to her, to ensure she would never return.
Before being casted away, the goddess could not let her roam free with these false signs of purity. And so the goddess rended away the wings from her back and shattered her halo into thousands of pieces, like fragile glass.
Luckily for her, after an untold length of time of aimlessly drifting through nothingness, she ended up in the Meadow of Dreams.
---
In this strange unfamiliar world, Folly is among the most curious to her. When they first meet, she knows that she is dangerous, and fears her. But at the same time, she can't help but pity her curse of only seeing sorrow and pain in everything. Her feelings towards her initially are curiosity, but also a mix of fear and feeling sorry for her.
uhhh that's kinda all i feel like sharing ig she has so much but uh. enjoy!!!! to the like 3 of you who actually read all this tysm pls tell me what you think of my very sad sheep.... their shipname is sheepcounting btw thought u should know
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whencyclopedia · 7 months ago
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A Gallery of Tutankhamun & Family
Tutankhamun is easily the most famous Egyptian ruler in the world thanks to his nearly intact tomb discovered by Howard Carter in 1922 and the "mummy's curse" associated with the opening of that tomb. Although Tutankhamun was initially thought to have been a minor ruler, that opinion has changed, and he is now regarded in a more favorable light.
Tutankhamun (r. c. 1336 to c. 1327 BCE) was the son of Amenhotep IV (better known as Akhenaten) of the 18th Dynasty and his wife Nefertiti. He came to the throne at a young age and died soon after. His father had changed the religious paradigm of polytheism to a monotheistic worship of the god Aten, and the young prince was originally known as Tutankhaten ("living image of Aten") before he changed his name to Tutankhamun ("living image of Amun") when he discarded his father's new religion and returned Egypt to a worship of the old gods, including the popular Amun.
When the general Horemheb (r. 1320-1292 BCE) came to the throne, he tried to erase all evidence of Akhenaten and his family including, of course, Tutankhamun, claiming for himself the role of champion of the old gods and restorer of tradition. Tutankhamun's tomb was accidentally buried later by the workers building the tomb of Ramesses VI (r. 1145-1137 BCE) and was forgotten until its discovery by Carter.
The famous "mummy's curse" or "Curse of Tutankhamun" that became worldwide headlines in 1923 after the "mysterious" death of Carter's patron, Lord Carnarvon, was based on a misinterpretation of an inscription found in the tomb which was reported as reading "I will kill all of those who cross this threshold into the sacred precincts of the royal king who lives forever" but which actually read "I am the one who prevents the sand from blocking the secret chamber" – the "I" being the door. Howard Carter was aware the "curse" was fiction but never challenged it because it kept people away from the tomb, and he could work in peace without constant interruptions. The "curse" also scared people who had either smuggled artifacts out of Egypt illegally or purchased them on the black market into returning them or donating them to museums. There was nothing mysterious about the death of Carnarvon or anyone else associated with opening the tomb. Carter lived until 1939, and Carnarvon's daughter, who was present when the tomb was opened, lived until 1980.
This gallery presents some of the artifacts found in Tutankhamun's tomb as well as images of his parents, the famous image of the young king and his wife Ankhsenamun, and, of course, one of the best-known images associated with ancient Egypt: the golden death mask of Tutankhamun.
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