#also ive made the pink one 4 fucking times and lost it every time

[temporal-malady]

[nanasarea]

Mermade VI

Prompt: When Renjun and his friends decide to go to Seirina Island, he accidentally meets you, a literal fish out of water

Genre: mostly fluff

Pairing: mermaid!reader x renjun

Word count: 914

a/n:i am so sorry this is so late haha also you should know i don’t proof read haha 

Tag list: @moloprint @emijjk @peachykrystal @multimulti-posts @jaeminsmainbitch

main m.list / mermade m.list /

i  ii  iii iv  v  vi  vii  viii  ix  x(finale)

The two sentences “Are you a siren?” and “The second a human knows that you’re not human, they’ll kill you.” replayed in your head until you finally lost it. You had gotten so worked up about this whole situation with Renjun that you ended up become extremely stressed, so you decided to say fuck it and try to de-stress with taking a bath. 

With your mermaid tail.

Mistake number 1.

In your defense, you didn’t think anyone would be awake.   

Mistake number 2

It might have also been a full moon.

Mistake number 3

You ran the bath and decided to put in one of those bath bombs you bought with Renjun the last time you went to this place called Rush? Lush? You ended up almost fainting from the sudden fragrances. Renjun just laughed at you and asked if you didn’t have Lush back at home. Thankfully, you got use to the blend of smells and asked about everything in the store.

“That’s a bath bomb.” Renjun said “What do you do with it?” You asked “You put it in water and it magically transforms the water into pretty colors!” He answered, chuckling at your cute but confused expression. “How?” You asked “You put it in water and it dissolves.” He answered. You turned your attention away from the pink “bath bomb” in your hand and onto him. 

“But why would people want this?” You asked as you tried your hardest to ignore the expression on his face. You didn’t really know what it meant if humans looked at each other with this expression, but you remember some couples looking at each other while you were still with the pod. It was a loving look, one you only gave the person you were in love with, but before you could jump in joy, a few problems came to mind.

First, he was a human, he might not mean the look the same saw merfolk do. Maybe the expression has a different meaning. 

Second, he was a human and humans couldn’t be with merfolk. Yes, he thought you were a human, despite questioning it lately. He was under the impression that you were human, but you knew. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t. Your two species weren’t meant to be together. 

So you distracted yourself with focusing on other things besides Renjun, which was extremely hard because not only were you around him all of the time, but he also seemed to be hanging out in your head a lot. 

“People like their baths to be pretty colors and it’s packed with oils and other things that make your skin nice.” He replied, smiling fondly at you. “I wanna try one.” You announced “Which one do you like?” He asked as you pointed to the pink and purple bath bomb. “Interesting choice.” he chuckled as he put one of the “sex bombs” into the paper bag and walking up to the counter before informing you that he’s paying. 

Once you were satisfied with the amount of water in the tub, you looked at the paper bag and thought “let’s see what the hype is about” before taking bath product out of the bag and smelling it first. The fragrant blend of jasmine, ylang ylang and clary sage made your eyes widen at how good it smelled. Once you were done admiring the smell, you placed the product into the water and jumped back when the bath bomb started spinning. 

After looking at the water and bath bomb in fascination for about 5 minutes, you remembered that you actually have to get into the bath, so you did. You felt yourself melt into the warm water as you looked at the covered window. How you wish you could just look at the moon. It was calming and you would know that even if you and your pod are miles apart, you can still look at the same moon, but after hearing the stories of mermaids in their human form seeing the moon and going insane, you were not going to take any chances. 

It was only then that you realized that, did you realize that you were still in your human form, so you looked down at your ring and smiled. You slid the ring off your finger and felt your legs transform into something way more familiar. You saw your scales again after so long that you ended up letting a tear roll down your cheek. 

You looked at your locket and decided to start singing the song you and your pod would always sing, completely forgetting you were in house full of four other people, your emotions clouding your logic. 

Little did you know that in the room next to you, was a restless Renjun hearing every beautiful note that left your mouth. After a minute or two, he decided to go  tell you that you had one of the most beautiful voices he’s ever heard, but as he got up and left his room, it didn’t even cross his mind that you were in the bathroom, so he opened the door.

The panic on both of your faces growing from “oh, shit, i forgot to lock the door” and “Oh shit, I forgot to knock” to “Oh my god, I’m seeing a mermaid” and “I’m so dead”.

“You are one!” Renjun yelled and that’s when you realized, not locking the door and singing out loud were mistakes number 4 and 5. 

[sup4l3e]

I’m Crazy...

I’m insane...

I've lost the plot..

I'm hopeless..

I'm worthless..

I'm unloveable..

I'm pathetic..

I'm weird..

I'm strange..

I'm not okay...

I'm a psycho... (ok this one for me might be true... question it, go on try it! i dare you! ;0 lol)

BUT...

I AM!!!

Those are just some of the things my own mind tells me on a daily basis ... yes here it comes a blog about anxiety and depression... omg!! i know right the cliche of it all. like who hasnt written a blog about depression before ...

oh woe is me! am i right?

well... thats where you're wrong!

(before i start i want no sympathy im not writing this for the "aww's" and the "bless her" comments, i dont want sympathy or empathy ... this is simply because ive experienced and lived with depression for about 14 years and if i can help one person feel better about themselves by reading this or help someone realise that they are not alone then, well, i can rest easy tonight. If anything i want to empower people)

I lived for so many years in the dark, keeping all of this too myself and you know what it did? absolutely sweet FA apart from making me so much worse, it gave ammunition to those little voices, telling me all of the above, making them win!

i didnt realise until about 2-3 years ago that talking about my experiences and how im feeling would help.

i didnt realise until about 2-3 years ago how many other people around me were going through the EXACT same thing.

Two and a half years ago i was a completely different person, i was sheltered, i was in a very toxic relationship ... with myself. Most people would disagree, they'd say i was actually in a toxic relationship with my ex partner; but i cant blame him. Dont get me wrong he was toxic and looking back i was lucky to get out when i did, however i am also grateful too him, because he showed me exactly what i dont want in my life. and being fair to him i'd lived with my own toxicity in my mind for a good 10 years before him, so god forbid i'd give him the satisfaction of all that praise coz by god did i do a damned good number on myself without any of his help. ;)

In all honestly though, i do blame myself and my own mind, because 2 and a half years ago those little voices in my own head were the only thing i was listening to, they were winning. I wasnt listening to my family who were worried sick about me, who were practically begging me to tell them what was going on in my head, who i shut out, ignored and pushed away because i couldnt cope and you know what? they didnt deserve that at all. i live everyday regretting that i put them through that, So i now live everyday hoping to make them proud of me and live each and everyday with a promise. I do however live every day regretting that i didnt let them in earlier because if i had of i wouldnt have gone through the hell i did and i wouldnt have genuinely believed "this is what i deserve" "no-one else will love you" "no-one else wants you" "no-one cares"... i wouldnt have had too live a LIE.

The lie was people did love me, i just couldnt see it, people did care about me, i just wouldnt hear it, i needed their help, i just wouldnt speak it; because at that point in time my own mind was telling me that i didnt deserve any of that, and that nobody would ever want to do that for me. So i found sactuary in a toxic person who in the long run made me the strong person i am today because if it werent for him i'd never have the confidence in myself knowing what i overcame, and if it werent for him i wouldnt have seen my family and loved ones take charge and say "Leanne enough is enough" .. they gave me the metaphorical slap across the face i damned well needed and brought me back to reality, they categorically wouldnt allow that behaviour to carry on anymore and for that i will forever be grateful!

i made a promise to them that day that i would always tell them when i was getting low again and i made a promise to myself that day that i would keep them in the forefront of my mind in all of my decisions and i would also promise to try and help anyone else who was ever in the same position i was in.

depression is a funny old thing, everyone will experience some form of depression throughout their life, some people are genetically wired to experience it, some people will experience it from a young age, some dont experience it until very late on in life, some experience it from sad/happy/overwhelming life events, some unlucky souls just never find happiness. but no matter what EVERYONE will, at somepoint experience depression. in this blog im going to try and explain how i've learned to manage and cope with mine.

A bit of a backstory of my depression, it started around the age of 14-15, my depression. I dont know where it came from but it was right around the time of my GCSE's, college, boys, hormones, and being diagnosed with PCOS (for those of you who dont know what that is its Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) i was told at a young age of 14 that i had some sort of syndrome which "would only matter when i got older", and that i had some of the prettiest ovaries the sonographer and gyneacologist had ever seen... in hindsight that wasnt going to be the compliment i first thought it was or the dismissive statement they portrayed it and brushed it off as, at all! THAT diagnosis changed alot of my life, however i will get back to that.

As most teens do around here I started studying for my GCSE's at just 15 years old. i was so stressed out i started actually hearing a screaming voice in my head. i suffered panic attacks daily, sometimes a few attacks a day, and that is where my anxiety started and then, good old depression smashed me in the face. i found the more stressed i became, the more id hear that screaming inside my head which then lead me to thinking " holy fucking shitballs im hearing voices im actually insane" therefore leading to more anxiety and panic attacks. so much so i would come home exhausted at 4pm everyday crawl into my pyjamas and climb into bed ready to do it all again the following day. (dont get me wrong i sat most nights on msn using the latest flashing emojis for EACH and EVERY letter of the alphabet, to the point it looked more like hyroglyphics and obviously getting the colours just right with the codes to make your name and status show in a rainbow. but that was all done in pj's curled up in bed because i couldnt manage much else ... however, if my mam asks i was revising and doing my homework THE. WHOLE. TIME, not talking to my friends about how hot a certain crush's bum looked that day ha! am i right! :P xoxo)

This was all a massive thing for me to go through aswell, due to the fact my dad has mental health issues and lives with schizophrenia, so, naturally at this point, you can imagine i was picturing myself in padlocked straight jackets and padded cells, talking away to the screaming voice in my head. the funniest thing was this screaming voice wasnt saying anything nasty or bad it was just my thoughts screaming at me like everything was angry, so genuinely just everyday life thoughts but those screaming at me, like, imagine thinking "leanne dont forget to pack your PE kit" but in the voice of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket... it. was. TERRIFYING!

Anyways, so yes high school was a massive contributor, then i made the choice to leave college at 17 because i, like many others, didnt have the faintest clue what i wanted to be when i grew up (little did i know id live the life of peter pan and neverland would be my sesh house OIOI!!!) In leaving college i went into full time work, as a 'temp job' until i decided what i was going to do... unfortunately, 8 and a half years later i was still their prisoner! haha, Nah, dont get me wrong i met some absolutely amazing people in that job and i did love it but i knew at the end, if i didnt get out it was going to kill me off. I'd gotten to the point in that job that i cried myself to sleep knowing i had to go back in the next day. that place contributed alot to my depression not because it was a bad job but because id made a wrong decision and was stuck there. i had to leave.

my next massive contributor, and this is where i divulge some of my REAL heartbreaks. PCOS - Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome or what i like to call Poly fucking Cystic fucking Ovary fucking Syndrome or "lets just fuck shit up!" (no im not bitter about it at all lol) because of this shit, from the very young age of 14 (like puberty isnt hard enough - spots, hair in places you never wanted boobs growing overnight, bleeding once a month being the biggest inconvenience) i have also had to deal with weight issues, hersuitism, depression, anxiety, hormones that sent me bat shit crazy, pain, headaches, fatigue, you name it i had it. but the biggest heartbreak, being told that id always have difficulty concieving and carrying a child. Anyone who knows me, and knows me well, knows i have always wanted to be a mam. (and not the sesh mam who looks after all my drunken idiotic friends on a night out ... coz i swear thats all they ever think i do lol) I mean a real mam, to a real baby. and being told at a young age that i had the prettiest ovaries the gyneacologist had ever seen wasnt the compliment i thought it was because it turned out my ovaries were absolutely covered in cysts. And for years i have tried to have a baby but alas nothing ever happens. i've had a few close calls and ive miscarried, or at least i think i did, the test came back positive but then about 3 days after that pretty pink second line, i had the heaviest period i had ever had for around 4 hours and then my body went back to normal as if nothing happened. it broke my heart.

They say the human body is delicate and intricate and should be treated with respect... i say its a machine and its a absolute twat at times, and why should i respect what in essence has caused me heartbreak from a young age FOR NO FUCKING REASON. but hey ho... life. goes. on.

so... thats my life story or just a snippet of it. and some of the reasons why i have depression.

heres how i cope...

Well, for a long time.. and i mean a VERY LONG time i didnt. i hid it, i hid away from the world. i drank alot. i avoided family, i avoided my best friends, i avoided anything that would have brought me back to reality.

For a long time though, thats what i needed. now im not saying running away from your issues is easy and thats what you should do because its definitely not. im saying i NEEDED to do it at the time because i had no other way of coping and i NEEDED too to learn what not to do in the future. So masking, for me, was better than facing things 'alone'. In that time though, i made my issues alot worse and in fact caused more issues. it hurt my family, my friends and well hurt myself too, because in the long run i still had to sober up and i still had to deal with the same issues that got me down in the first place, i ended up in debt which contributed further too my issues. I did some very silly things which when i look back on them now i could have hurt so many people. i took an overdose of painkillers at one point around 2 and a half years ago. I felt so weak i saw no other outcome but instantly regretted doing it and made myself sick so that they came back up. i've told my mother and close friends about this previously but i think to really show how much i've learned and to reach out to anyone who is feeling the same way i did, to tell them IT REALLY DOES GET BETTER AND EASIER. i think saying that, shows my honesty throughout this post and allows for my experience and honesty really show that i want to help anyone going through the same thing.

Masking just makes the pain go away for a short period of time. learning from your pain and making it your strength is how you really overcome your own mind and depression.

It wasnt until i realised i was never alone, just how selfish and stupid id been all that time, because in masking, hiding and running away, id stupidly stopped myself from a faster recovery, less heartache, less pain and mental and physical torture. and really i stopped myself from helping others in the same position as me.

it wasnt until i learned to make my pain my strength that i truly found peace in who i am.

i still have days where those voices wont shut up, and they win and thats ok.

i still have days where i cannot climb out of bed and thats ok.

i still have days where i cry and the pain is too much and thats ok.

because i learned all of it really is ok! everyone has those same thoughts the same feelings the same illnesses. and i know that tomorrow WILL be a better day.

you just need to learn how to make it and own it as your own!

nothing has changed for me, all of those things are still true they're still real, my body hasnt miraculously healed itself, i still made poor life choices, it hasnt changed my hormonal imbalances but it has changed my mindset. it has changed my life. i made a choice to change my mindset and not let it beat me i decided to let people in. my family are my guardian angels because they never gave up on me, they dragged it out of me and frogmarched me to the doctors for the help i needed but some people dont have that support in their lives.

i'm lucky enough now, to have lived with this for long enough to know my signs, and when i know what i call, "going dark" is coming. basically when i start slipping and losing control of it again, i identify it and know how to manage it head on. unfortunately my body because of the stupid "intricate machine" i have and how broken it is (believe me the day i can swap out into an AI robot body imma sign straight up for that shit imma have me a body like Jennifer Anniston) my body however tends to go into a meltdown, i end up with more migraines, pain and infections. i also get extremely tired to the point i can sleep for a good 15-20 hours a day and thats not me being lazy (although if sleeping were an olympic sport i'd be the universal champion of it BED=LIFE) thats really me needing to reset. at that point in time when i know this is coming, thats when i reach out; i tell my friends and my family "I'm not okay" because i know now i can do that, i can talk to them.

i, personally, take medication daily, and for some reason we live in a society where people are actually shamed for doing so. i know if i dont take those 2 little tablets every day i will lose control and become a shell of who i really am. my seratonin levels drop and i practically become a robot barely functioning. so why should i be ashamed of those 2 little 'happy pills' which make me the person i want to be and know i truly am! no chemical imbalance is going to get the better of me! if i can have the help, im damned sure going to take it. along with the happy pills, aswell as alot of sleep, sunbeds, spending time with family and friends whenever i possibly can, i now have a job that i love, i also retrained as a beautician, and i love going to the gym and swimming whenever i can, ive found i can manage mine alot better. one thing that massively changed my life was limitting when i drink. i rarely go out drinking anymore and the reason is because i know deep down i will end up in a very low state afterwards. alcohol is a depressant and i wont allow that kind of thing to get me down. so now instead i choose to drink once a month if not less. i havent cut out the drink completely i just know if i want to get blinding drunk i need to be in a very happy place to do so. so i am careful where i drink, who i drink with and what i do whilst im drinking and unfortunately much to my neighbours disgust that tends to be in the house whilst singing along to whitney houston or disney songs at the top of my lungs, but thats how i know i'll not plummet the day after, and lets face it anyone whose heard me singing knows whitney had nothing on me ;)

In all seriousness though, the best advice i can give anyone living with depression is talk to someone, talk to your family, talk to your neighbour, talk to your friends, talk to your doctor, talk to your dog, your cat, the postman, the man on the bus who sits oddly close too you... just talk to anyone. tell them how you are feeling tell them your experiences. tell them what is getting to you. Find someone who you can trust, find a stranger. write it all down in a blog. video it. GET IT ALL OFF YOUR CHEST! SAY IT OUT LOUD! Just. Bloody. Talk! please!

everyones experiences with depression are different some people mask it, some people show it, some people (like me now) shout it from the fucking rooftops because im not afraid of my emotions anymore.

everyones ways of coping are different too, some people find the gym helps, some rely on medication, some rely on talking therapies... there are so many different ways of coping out there now... the only way that doesnt work is not admitting something is wrong and fighting your own mind without help, knowing something isnt right but still doing nothing about it. The only way of not coping is living a lie, you dont have to do this alone!

Basically do those things just for you, the ones you've always wanted to do! get that tattoo you wanted, quit your job, retrain, change your hair colour, buy that car, buy that dog, book that holiday.

do what makes YOU happy!

live for you and open up, people would rather know how you are feeling than see you struggle or ultimately not be here.

open up you never know someone might be feeling the exact same way you are and it could bring you closer.

but remember most importantly:

You ARE NOT Alone..

You ARE NOT Crazy..

You ARE NOT insane..

You HAVE NOT lost the plot..

You ARE NOT hopeless..

You ARE NOT worthless..

You ARE NOT unloveable..

You ARE NOT pathetic..

You ARE NOT weird..

You ARE NOT a psycho..

You ARE NOT strange..

And..

You ARE okay...

You ARE Beautiful..

You ARE Worth it..

YOU ARE Loved

i hope this helps...

thank you ☺

[chimcharstar]

1-50 ho

you got it ho

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED. ive been Purchasing various smelly candles for my gay divination activities, and i have a few nominees. i first thought of the candle i have now, a pink one with a very sweet vanilla smell, i love very sweet smells because it makes me think of candy which i tend to try to fill my inner void with. however im going to go with the first candle i bought, a dark orange one with a citrus smell. citrus scents are my next favourite and specifically this one reminded me of curiously smelling candles at my piano teachers apartment when i was very young. 

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

idk. ive been listening to her lion king stuff lately. dont judge me i needed to hear remixes of lion king music i was lost in that sauce in high school. and i just think shes neat. i dont think she would aggressively make me feel bad about everything, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

Look……. i really don’t know???? what is the criteria?? do they need to be like my siblings? dare i criticize my arguably criticizable siblings by picking out my ideal siblings? if i pick an ideal sibling, what does that say about what im lacking in my life? do i pick celebrities i hate so theoretically my family shames them into becoming silent and self-defeating

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

50. i think im going to have to figure myself out for a long time, and achieve some personal goals first. thats my excessively confident prediction and PERHAPS educated guess

5. Do you know a hoarder?

nnnnnoooooooo????? not a real, cant function because of hoarding hoarder. i can see in a few family members, including myself, liking to hang onto things that maybe become sentimental/unnecessary clutter but that sounds like something many non-hoarders experience?

6. Can you do a split?

lemme try one sec

NO

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

Idk maybe 7? Or 11? i think my parents taught me at a children age and then i started biking for fun like, later, like pre middle school?

8. How many oceans have you swam in?

1. i dont really remember swimming in an ocean but i may have faded childhood memories of salty water and seaweed

9. How many countries have you been to?

2… i went to idaho for a band trip… my dad really doesnt like travelling

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

HAHAHA

NO. ACTUALLY YES. but its funny because the specific brand of christianity we are supposed to be is super pacifist so ive heard. but then i remembered one dude apparently who joined the us military?????? it seemed like it was… an unusual choice. i dont really know anything else about this guy, not even his name

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

🙏 *inhale* buddy. oooooohhffffff i want to say something gender neutral honestly. i dont want to rock the boat being unconventional or something but im just thinking of all those years trying to live up to a feminine name

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

same i guess… why have i never thought about this????? was i preoccupied naming myself.

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?

hmmmmm hmmmmm trying to unlock the vault. i think i remember a 1 or a 0 on a math quiz. i think i got 30% or something very very bad (i dont even want to know) on my last english exam, but to be fair, i was having such a bad mental breakdown my professor did an intervention

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

like a very very small child? i was obsessed with the save-ums (?!?!?) for some reason. i would sing the anthem… no. theme song? i dont know. i guess it was catchy and there were lots of fun characters. OHHHH I SEE WHATS WRONG

ITS BECAUSE WE ONLY HAD A TV TILL I WAS LIKE 5 OR SOMETHING. what are you cultured people watching as children? what are the shows? 

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

>:(

My Halloween experience:

i dont even remember i probably had some kind of fairy wings? i think i remember fairy wings. we went to one (1) house. later on, since we werent allowed to go trick-or-treating, we were each allotted a certain amount of candy, and if we ate more than a designated amount per day, we were in trouble and wouldnt be allowed anymore. i do remember getting in trouble for this. i think i stole someones candy. sibling against sibling. finally we were allowed to go trick or treating, i went with my younger brothers and by then, was a teenager and felt too tall and really uncomfortable

LMAO I JUST REMEMBERED THAT LAST TIME WE WENT TRICK-OR-TREATING NOT IN A RURAL AREA, my dad drove us around in a van and watched us like a hawk i believe. it was very tense and methodical.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

i read the harry potter series (I WROTE SIBLIGS LOL) more times than i could count while growing up. i read the first hunger games book and didnt fancy it for whatever reason, and i had an obnoxious twilight-hating phase.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

no

sometimes, though, im really genuinely worried about what accent i do have. im worried i read so much harry potter growing up, it rubbed off on me. when i was a server, people would ask about an unusual accent i apparently had, and once, when i was talking to a super british guy who called me luv at walmart, he was like STOP. WAIT. YOU HAVE A BRITISH ACCENT. and i was like WHAT UHHH BYEBYE AND HE WAS LIKE NO. I HEARD YOU. STOP and i was like that michael jackson meme where he covers his face running away and everyone else in the line was staring

18. Did your mother go to college?

i believe she went to a bible college where people put a grand piano on top of the roof. 

19. Are your grandparents still married?

all of my grandparents are dead.

…. hmmMMMM yow. ok. my grandparents who werent estranged stayed married for as long as either of them were living… however, my OTHER grandparents, i mean the fucking kidnappers, my abuser grandpa… remarried? when he was… really really aging. im judging him for it because i know what kind of person he was.

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

I WISH. my parents didnt seem to like that sort of thing (surprise). im interested in it now but… as usual… i feel like its too late, im too old.

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

….. i… i thought i did… hes blessed… thats all.

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?

ಠ_ಠ 

*crickets*

how could you ask me this?

no wait! i went to the waterslides. then, later on, i was never allowed to go to the waterslides.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

Spanish. ive been “intending” to learn for a long time, and a lot of people who have been really good influences on me and been genuinely kind to me speak it, id like to learn it

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

grey

one sec

yup thats canadian!

25. Is your father bald?

on the top of his head, yes >:(

26. Do you know triplets?

no?

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

no? what is this straight stuff? i listened to the dramatic titanic song and felt nothing.

28. Have you ever had Indian food?

i guess so, at a friends house! i dont think otherwise ive gone to a restaurant and actually had indian food

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?

*gazes tearily at my OWN FUCKING OLD WORKPLACE

the food was sO GOOD MAN. IT WAS SO GOOD. im just not saying because despite how stalkable i probably am already, i dont want to be specific

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

no whats that

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?

w

belong? whats bjs? whats a warehouse for?

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

i decided at one point they would never tell me this and it was no use asking. i do know they almost named my brother a very fusty old fashioned name fitting in with the thomas the tank engine theme 

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

G is the ONLY one i will accept so far.

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?

:)

i……… hmmmm…. i really dont like picking favourites. each person in my life has a unique relationship with me (even though a lot of them arent very warm, trusting or close). because of unhealthy middle school friendships ive grown an aversion to ranking relationships as if they have material value.

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

rural, i think. i need nature in my life!!! but i also need to be able to have connections to people.

36. Can you whistle?

yes, but not very loudly or accurately

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

no, but ive always wanted a nightlight

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

ive started to, yeah! this morning i made a whole thing with bread and mushrooms and eggs, and coffee, and i ate it outside watching the traffic. im really trying to treat myself nicely you see. its what id do for someone else.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

THAT

BOY

JUICE!

WELCOME TO MY BUILD A BOY WORKSHOP!

SHOTS!SHOTS!SHOTS!

and im really fortunate to be in pretty good health, and have access to things i do need

40. What medical conditions do you have?

I dont think… i actually have any. id say gender dysphoria but i think it was informed consent. (im VERY lucky)

im pretty sure there are SOME mental conditions running around undiagnosed. MY BRAIN IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

for myself? once… when i got hives and started swelling up all over, but otherwise was fine. i really wonder what that was. other times was visiting sick/dying relatives which has made me feel sad and apprehensive whenever i enter a hospital or smell the food

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

yes! i had a gerbil named nemo! 

43. Where do you buy your jeans?

D:

i dont … remember … really nowhere special i actually have yet to find some jeans i LOVE. sometimes there is a pair of jeans that sparks joy. i do not have such a pair

44. What’s the last compliment you got?

my sister said my pants looked good on me. they are actually their pants, which they left on the floor in my room for an unknown reason, and they want them back. of course.

but because im excited about it and want to brag, the real compliment was when i made borscht and my sister not only ate it faster than me, but wanted a second helping. and my roommate stuck his face in the steam and said it smelled good. hell yes. i put fucking cilantro in it. fcking beast mode.

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

yes. theyre usually really emotional and symbolic. if ive been talking to my parents, theyre usually nightmares. ive been reading about dream interpretation for a long time to deal with some of the ominous images that can come up

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

red rose reminds me of wheni was little my mom would make really sweet sweet red rose tea for me (thats the kind she drinks all the time) and it brings me those good feelings. otherwise licorice spice really appeald to me for some reason.

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

LMAO UHHH…brb

six. because of social pressure.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

i never thought about this kind of thing…. i really don’t know….. id just want them to know how to be kind to others and themselves and thats literally it. 

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?

i was one of those edgy kids trying to spoil it for everyone. guess what other common fun thing my parents didnt do

50. Why do you have a youtube? 

i dont! so i dont know what this question means! :)

HOLY SHIT I MADE IT THRU HIGH FIVE 

[alienshea]

And now, for no absolute reason, I will give every Gorillaz song from the main 6 studio albums my rating from 1-10

Self-Titled

Re-Hash: 7.5/10

Bopping tune, 2D doing his own backup vocals make me swoon, Noodle is great as always, no one really knows what the lyrics are but they’re valid

5/4: 6/10

Better than average,not the best song i’ve ever heard but still pretty good, kinda uncomfy with Noodle screaming about someone turning her dad on, drumbeat makes me wanna dance, wished they couldve made the music video

Tomorrow Comes Today: 7/10

The kind of song that gets stuck in your head all day, love the overall sad tone, music video makes me laugh now bc that one murdoc gif, makes me cry when i have depressive episodes

New Genius (Brother): 7.5/10

Love 2D’s voice in it, lyrics hit home a little bit for me, have never skipped this song tbh, overall pretty good song

Clint Eastwood: 8.5/10

I literally know all the words, I love the rap, iconic, there’s a reason it’s popular, Del is everything

Man Research (Clapper): 3/10

oooo boy i’m gonna get shit for this one, i always skip this song, i can’t stand the whole “yeah yeah” thing, the only great part about this song is the “tHiS Is a bReAkFaSt ClUuUuuUB!”

Punk: 6.5/10

gets me turnt, toooooo short, tbh i like any song where 2D yells

Sound Check (Gravity): 9/10

looooove this song, gives me body chills when the drums kick in, love the deep ass voice, overall emo kid bop

Double Bass: 8/10

nice jam, I like listening to this when I do homework or art, relaxing

Rock The House: 8/10

legit makes me get up and dance, great rhythm, music video is beautiful

19/2000: 9/10

amazing bop, gets me pumped, iconic af, first gorillaz song i ever heard and first music video i ever saw, n o o d l e

Latin Simone: 7/10

I don’t speak spanish so i cant really sing along, love the feel of it, will listen on repeat, prefer the english version but im biased

Starshine: 6.5/10

idk I don’t really listen to this one, not a bad song i just wouldn’t play it on repeat or actively look for it, i do like the vocals

Slow Country: 8.5/10

love the feeling this song gives me, kinda like im just floating, super chill song to get high to, have never skipped this song, i like the lyrics

M1A1: 8/10

super fun song to sing along with, honestly the best song they couldve ever chosen to start a concert, he   s c r e a m

OVERALL SCORE FOR SELF-TITLED: 7.5 (rounded up)

Demon Days

Last Living Souls: 9/10

absolute favourite song on the album, breakdown gives me chills, constantly changing it’s tune and i love it, the basssss <3

Kids With Guns: 6/10

I love singing the chorus, great song to have in the background, chill af

O Green World: 7.5/10

i love the instrumental of this one, vocals give me chills, kinda wish you could hear the singing more tho

Dirty Harry: 6.5/10

bopping beat, i love the rap part, overall not really the type of song i’d play on repeat but not bad

Feel Good Inc: 8/10

first and foremost the fucking bass of this song is the reason i’m learning bass, chorus gives me chills, kinda overused but i understand

El Manana: 6/10

kind of a meh song for me personally, not a bad one just not the greatest

Every Planet We Reach Is Dead: 9/10

banger, the reason im also learning guitar, vocals are on point, has made me cry before

November Has Come: 7/10

love the chorus, rap is kinda meh for me, i like the beat

All Alone: 5/10

not really a song i listen to, i like the bloopy noises

White Light: 4/10

I always skip this one tbh, better than man research but not by much

DARE: 6.5/10

this song haunts my dreams, its like the best kind of elevator music, on another note you fucking go noodle

Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey’s Head: 7.5/10

I WANNA BE A COWBOY BABY, narrative is really fucking good tho

Don’t Get Lost In Heaven: 8/10

beautiful, usually dont like gospel-esque music but i love this, gives me chills

Demon Days: 6.5/10

not my favourite tbh, meh for me

OVERALL SCORE FOR DEMON DAYS: 6.5 (rounded up)

Plastic Beach

Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach: 7.5/10

i love snoop dogg, also this song gives me good vibes

White Flag: 5/10

ehhhh not a fan of this one, i usually skip it, i like the orchestra tho

Rhinestones Eyes: 8.5/10

i fucking love this song, great tune great vocals, i never skip it, i even got my boyfriend to start loving this song even tho he doesnt really like gorillaz

Stylo: 9/10

jesus this song, makes my heart hurt, i absoultely long singing along to this, his voiceeeee, bobby womack!

Superfast Jellyfish: 8.5/10

quirky af, i love de la soul in this one a lot, have never skipped this

Empire Ants: 9/10

so beautiful, has made me cry, both of their voices are so soft and lovely ugh

Glitter Freeze: 6/10

starts off strong but when it starts sounding like a drill i usually yeet out

Some Kind Of Nature: 8/10

used to be my favourite until i started listening to the album more, 2d’s part is so soulful omg

On Melancholy Hill: 8.5/10

so sad and amazing, music video is probably my favourite, is me and my best mate’s “song”

Broken: 9/10

ugh beautiful, i know all the words and always sing them loud af, has never skipped this song, honestly is everything

Sweepstakes: 5.5/10

not a big fan, i usually skip this one, not a horrible song just not for me

Plastic Beach: 7.5/10

love it, better at the beginning than the end, still a bop

To Binge: 10/10

WHEEEW BOY, i love this song, its so sad and amazing and gay jesus christ, the best thing murdoc has ever done

Cloud of Unknowing: 7/10

soulful and beautiful, again bobby womack!!

Pirate Jet: 7/10

i love the tune bc it gets me feeling ~spooky~, lyrics dont really make sense but thats okay

OVERALL SCORE FOR PLASTIC BEACH: 7.5 (rounded up)

The Fall

Phoner to Arizona: 8/10

gets me bopping and grooving, great music to play in the background while writing or doing art, my go to for when i draw or need background sound while I relax

Revolving Doors: 9.5/10

OOF, it so sad and it makes me feel things, i scream the lyrics errytime

Hillbilly Man: 10/10

fell in love with this the second I heard it, has been my favourite song of all time for over 2 years now, will never skip it in my life, i yearn to learn the guitar 

 Detroit: 6.5/10

generally a good happy bop, usually play it as background sound

Shy-Town: 6/10

nice to the ear, i don’t really like the prerecorded vocals of 2D but when Damon sung it live it sounds much better

Little Pink Plastic Bags: 8/10

i love it ugh, relaxing af, will never skip

The Joplin Spider: 9/10

big love for this song, its just soooo goooood

The Parish Of Space Dust: 7.5/10

big cowboy energy, sounds so sweet, 2D’s voice is unnnf

The Snake In Dallas: 7/10

good for when you wanna party but you’re depressed and can only stay in bed, love the little robotic sounds

Amarillo: 9.5/10

i meeeean what can i say, this song is so sad and gay and beautiful, ive cried while listening it this, will never skip

The Speak It Mountains: 7.5/10

this track is really weird and creepy and kind of not a song but i adore it anyway

 Aspen Forest: 8/10

beautiful sounds, the piano is so soothing, will play this on repeat while i zone out

Bobby In Phoenix: 9/10

i wanna cry every single time i hear this bobby come back

California and the Slipping of the Sun: 7.5/10

this song so so pretty and i cry every time ugh, he sounds so fed up im sorry pretty boy

Seattle Yodel: ???

what

OVERALL SCORE FOR THE FALL: 8 (rounded down)

Humanz

Ascension: 8.5/10

absolute banger, i get pumped everytime this comes on, skys falling bb

Strobelite: 7.5/10

i used to hate this song but then the music video came out and i tried it again and now i love it dont @ me

Saturnz Barz: 9/10

theres so much i could say about this song ans the mv unf

Momentz: 9/10

banger, i dance like a maniac every time i hear it, will never skip

Submission: 8/10

gives me a good chance to work on high notes, makes my skin tingly

Charger: 8.5/10

2D’s voice is so griity and i can help myself

Andromeda: 8.5/10

I’ve never skipped this song, has made me cry, makes me dance

Busted And Blue: 9/10

has made me cry several times, vocals are everything, will never skip

Carnival: 7/10

is a bop, don’t really listen to it much anymore but it’s alright

Let Me Out: 8/10

i love it, one of my favourites to rap with

Sex Murder Party: 4/10

ehhh dont like this one, i always skip it

She’s My Collar: 8.5/10

i dont want to admit the things 2D’s voice in this makes me wanna do

Hallelujah Money: 7.5/10

hated this at first, grew to love, very soothing

We Got The Power: 9.5/10

gets me FUCKING PUMPED, we do got the power fuckers

OVERALL SCORE FOR HUMANZ: 8.5 (rounded down)

The Now Now

Humility: 8.5/10

summer bop, makes me wanna dance, have never skipped

Tranz: 9.5/10

i love singing along to this bc it makes me feel sexy oops, always screams the lyrics

Hollywood: 7/10

not a huge fan of this but ill listen to it, favourite part is the chorus, also snoop doggy dogg

Kansas: 9/10

oof this song makes me cry, i always scream this 

Sorcererz: 7.5/10

ooo them vocals thooo, makes me relaxed

Idaho: 8.5/10

i love this song sm, one of my favourites of all time to sing, i wanna learn the guitar for this

Lake Zurich: 8/10

I love to listen to this while relaxing or writing, makes me wanna dance, COWBELL

Magic City: 8.5

always dancing to this, billboards on the moooon

Fireflies: 10/10

yall saw this coming, i always cry, its so somber, in close competition w HillBilly Man for my all time favourite

One Percent: 6.5/10

only song on the album i would skip and it isnt even that bad

Souk Eye: 10/10

its so gay and sad i love it sm

OVERALL SCORE FOR THE NOW NOW: 8.5 (rounded up)

So after months of me saying i’d rate the songs in order I finally did! Now keep in my the overall scores are averages, my personal rating for each album is:

Self-Titled: 8/10

Demon Days: 7/10

Plastic Beach: 8.5/10

The Fall: 8/10

Humanz: 7.5/10

The Now Now: 9/10

thanks for reading, i did this so i wouldn’t have to write an essay oops! <3

[candyclan]

Coming out letter to my mom. (FTM) At the start of my transition, I wanted to go by a name that started with an “A”because my birthname did. All the rest of it is basically the same.

THE TRUTH:

I didn’t scream “I am a boy” at my parents. Honestly, my mother (specifically) controlled a lot of what I did, who I hung out with, and what I wore as a child. I believe she has/had an idea about what she wanted out of a daughter since I was born, and really just lived through me. I think she eventually had to give me room to make my own decisions, later in life. I didn’t come out until I was 16, although I had spent 6 months prior to even coming out thinking about my gender identity. I was extremely sheltered. I want you guys to know that I didn’t know what being transgender was until I was a freshman in high school and met my best friend (who is STILL MY BEST FRIEND TODAY) who identified as Non-binary gender fluid. I had never really met someone AFAB that lived to be anything other than female. With that came the knowledge that sometimes, men don’t necessarily have to have penises and I can wear whatever I’m comfortable with. I used to be religious in middle school (raised Christian) but I never found god. It never made sense to me how so many people can put their faith in other people’s ideas of what god is (the Bible) but not listen when their real CHILD comes to them and tells them that they feel uncomfortable in their gender identity. I also came out as bisexual in middle school, after meeting a girl I had a fancy for. To which my mother sobbed and cried and asked how she had failed as a parent. I remember loving pink, it was my favorite color. Pink, purple, blue. My top 3. Now it’s blue, pink, purple but basically the same. I had a pink room, loved hello kitty, let my mom curl my hair with little curlers at night so I could wake up and be somebody different the next day. My brother played with carebears and my Barbie dolls more than I did as a child. I remember a toy gun and handcuffs. I was fairly experimental as a child, I did: Girl Scouts, swimming, piano, soccer, ballet, cheerleading, and more honestly. I always got “boy” toys at McDonald’s (I mean cmon they’re cooler) I just was kinda everywhere. I feel like that’s easier for someone AFAB to be. My brother was harassed by my family for liking girly things but I was never shown that I couldn’t like stereotypical “boy things” by extended family. My mother however in the line at McDonalds I could never forget, turned and looked at me (baseball cap backwards tank top and shorts)and said “So, what?” “Are you batting for the other team” implying that because of the clothes I liked to wear I would be a lesbian. My mother (like I said, kinda controlling and extremely narcissistic) when I was allowed to cut my hair super short for the first time I was 16. Afterwards she has said things like: “but you’re so pretty how could you have cut your hair” “you looked so nice with long hair” I never felt akin to femininity. I was actually VERY uncomfortable with it. I hated being the “weaker” gender. I never wanted my nails painted. It was torture. I acted like makeup and and nail polish was torture, the hairbrush was my enemy. I used to just put my hair up in a low ponytail every day as I got older. I knew she’d never let me cut it all off. Basically, other than wanting to grow up strong and tough and not liking to be treated like a female, I was female. There were parts of being female I didn’t really have a problem with, and honestly that’s why I didn’t come out for so long. I wasn’t in a house or raised by people I knew would accept anything other than me being their “little girl” I was a daddies girl. So between my lack of understanding of where my feelings towards my gender roles were coming from, being encouraged by my family to be girly, not being exposed to gender diversity (or anything queer), and my controlling mother, I remained in the dark about who I was.

TRIGGER WARNING:::(abuse)::::: I was never close with my mother, and actually hated her growing up. To this day she is the most judge mental, self-centered woman I know. My father was funny, charismatic, and lost his shit sometimes. I like to say, 90% of the time he was amazing. We made jokes and could literally finish each other’s sentences. But honestly my father, 10% of the time was abusive. Most of my abuse in my life was covert (narcissistic abuse from my mother) and verbal/emotional/barely physical abuse from my father. He’s 6”3’ 350 lbs and very loud and scary, especially to a young child. He punched a hole in my wall, he threw a remote at a wall and shattered it to pieces, he threatened to kill my dog with a baseball bat in front of me. Which I swear to god he would have done if I wasn’t holding my dog, protecting him. These moments were few and far between, but they were riddled with insults and almost always left me with less than I started with. My father did spank my brother and I, and one time he clapped my brother so well that he left a purple hand mark on his butt. My mother told my father she’d take us away if that happened again. My father never left marks. He never had to, he was so big and would just get up in my face and scream at me. He made me feel helpless. Because he was invading my space I felt physically threatened, and he never actually had to touch me and leave bruises because that threat was already implied by invading my space. I was so young, but I always knew my family wasn’t right. Finally at 16, I stood up to my father for the first time. I didn’t care if he was bigger than me, I didn’t care if I would lose, I was willing to fight for me. Anyway, long story short the police were called because we were screaming at each other in front of his apartment building. I’m not going to say I didn’t fuck up as a teenager, but I never deserved the pressure and the abuse he was dishing out and had dished out my whole life. I knew that. I cut him out of my life just after turning 16, by then I had been questioning my identity. It became easier after leaving my father to fall into who I was. My father is FAIRLY religious and my mother claims to be but she never talks about god, she never prays, and now that my father and her are divorced I don’t think she’s been inside a church since. Losing my father was a lot, despite his abuse he and I were really close and had really similar personalities. The reality of abuse isn’t “well, now I see them as an abuser so now none of that good stuff is left it’s all tainted” I had to struggle with losing someone very important in my life at a young age, for myself.

Arguments against me being trans:

My family has been a bit divided in responding to me coming out. By now, it’s been about 4 years.

My mother and her side of the family are in denial. They don’t understand how I can’t be a “lesbian that just likes boy things”. They don’t use my name or pronouns.

My father, what little communication I have with him now, is bewildered. He and I had a discussion this past Christmas where I brought up what his abuse did to me mentally and he apologized but then tried to say “well what about your part in all of this” and said that I was hanging out with crazy depressed people, cutting myself, doing drugs, (I was smoking weed and I’ve tried acid like once piss off) and was sneaking out. Yeah. I did do all of that BUT GUESS WHAT. IM 20. I go where I wanna go. I fuck who I wanna fuck. I smoke what I want and guess what? It’s not any different from when I was 16 except now I don’t have parents up my ass telling me what to do. His argument basically was that I need to own up to what I did too and that fucking angered me. You don’t apologize and then go “well what about you” that’s not an apology. That’s deflection and honestly I don’t think I need to apologize because my parents were super controlling. I was just trying to do what I wanted and they didn’t like it. He and I have talked about me being trans and he pretty much thinks I’m certifiable. Doesn’t use my name or pronouns.

My brother: Ethan, my brother and I have always been close. He’s 17 now, and he had a different reaction to me being trans. Of all of my family he was the most receptive to my pleas of gender dysphoria and he suffers with anxiety so he gets stuff. But alas, after asking him if he’d call me by my name and pronouns (after 4 years of being out) he thinks that I am the one that has an issue with society. I told him I was starting T soon and he said: “Hrt won’t lessen all the things that come with being transgender. If you feel like doing hormones is the best for you then do it, but from a logical standpoint I think there just needs to be more thickening of skin” he claimes that if I try hard enough I could be fine living as female. Doesn’t use my name or pronouns.

None of my family supports me. None of my family understands. And none of them ever will. I have been out for four fucking years. I can’t tell you how frustrating family rejection can be. I have cried so much at the idea of not having a supportive family. I feel like I was ripped away from a beautiful life somewhere and thrust into this mess.

Honestly though, it doesn’t matter, the world keeps spinning and I keep finding people who love and accept me for who I truly am. I have made peace with my family’s lack of acceptance. It’s made me stronger and more compassionate towards others. Made me want to be better than them. I am actually going to start hormones soon, and on top of other fears I have, will be cutting my family out of my life. I can’t be 25 with a full beard and getting misgendered by my family. I can’t do it. They may feel like I’m going too far, that I don’t have to do this, but I do. I’m not doing this because I didn’t get too much attention as a kid or my mom favored my brother over me, I’m not doing this because it’s cool, I’m not doing this because I’m bored, I’m not doing this because I hate myself or anyone else. This is AFFIRMATION. Sometimes, cutting people who can’t see you for who your really are out of your life is affirming too.

Guys, girls, people, keep your head up. Things get better, I know. I thought life was never going to get better so I know that’s what it can feel like. But it does. Never ever let someone control your life or who you are. You’re beautiful/handsome/amazing! You deserve to be comfortable in your own skin and to love who you are. I am getting there, we all are.

Love,

Tanner M.

[inyournightmares97]

hello!! ive been busy lately and ive missed reading your stuff! could i request 87 and 99 for the drabble challenge w brian please! thanks so much and have a good day! xx

YoungK + “Are you five” + “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

(Childhood Enemies!au)

Oh, how passionately you hated Brian Kang.

Brian, your next-door neighbor who had been trying to get people to call him YoungK since he was seven years old, but had yet to succeed three years later because everybody everywhere unanimously called him Brian. Even his so-called best friend, Sungjin, had long ceased using the nickname. But your hatred for Brian didn’t stem from his poor name-picking skills. It was a much older feud, one with a long, bloody history and that went back many years…

Well. Six years to be exact. Brian had moved into the house next door on the day you turned 4 years old, and while your mother had only invited him to come play with the other kids out of politeness, he’d ruined what was meant to be the best birthday party ever.

“Who ate all the cake before I could even blow my candles?”

Of course, the culprit had been caught too easily because Brian had pink Barbie-cake frosting all over his hands and mouth while he chattered happily with your older brother, Jae. You had a sneaking suspicion that Jae had been the one who told Brian it was okay to eat the cake but it had been his pudgy little hands and uncontrollable tongue that had ruined your special Barbie-themed birthday party.

And thus began what would be six years of hell.

Brian was generally a nice guy and most of the kids around the block liked him well enough. He let the other boys borrow his nice bike and sometimes helped some of the girls climb trees. But Brian held grudges for a long time and he never forgot how you humiliated him and made him cry for eating your cake at his birthday party. So he began his mission to make your life hell.

When you both started the first grade together, he somehow convinced the other kids in your class that you’d pooped your pants. None of them came near you and you spent most of that year without any friends but with the occasional taunts from Brian. Nothing particularly creative, mind you, just the standard you’re ugly, and you’re stupid and the worst one, are you five? That last one hurt the most but no matter what Brian stupid Kang said, you were not five, you were six and a half years old, so he could suck it.

When you reached the second grade, you realized that something had to change. You were not one to be let yourself be stepped all over, so you began to hold your own. On the first day of school, you told all of your new classmates that Brian had eaten your Barbie cake and that he secretly liked Barbies. While it didn’t cause his friends to abandon him completely, he still endured an entire year worth of teasing from his male friends. By the time you both reached third grade, it had become an all-out war and everybody knew about it.

Your mother had forced you to invite him to your birthday party again, so he’d made you a card with an enormous turd drawn on the front and with the words ‘Poopy-head’ written on it. You were unimpressed as he handed you the card with pleased sniggers,

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” you asked sarcastically, tossing the card aside while you frowned at him. Your older brother Jae had already taught you all the bad words that you needed to know and Brian’s limited vocabulary was unimpressive. “Ugh, how do you not even know any actual bad words?”

Brian frowned. “I do too!”

“Oh, really? Then what’s the baddest word of all time? Huh? Tell me, tell me.”

Brian’s face turned red. “I bet you don’t know either!”

“I do know!” you announced triumphantly, lowering you voice and whispering. “It’s fuck.”

Brian gasped. “I’m telling your mother you said that!”

And hence Brian Kang also ruined your 8th birthday party, by getting you into trouble with your mother and banned from watching television for two weeks. (She might have been more lenient if she knew that you’d learned the word from Jae, and not from the television, but you weren’t a tattle-tale like poopy-headed Brian).

Throughout all the time that Brian had annoyed you and teased you (and you’d admittedly teased him back) you’d developed a passionate mutual hatred for the boy that took up an unusually large share of your time and energy. But it wasn’t until you both finally entered middle school that Brian finally crossed the line and made you actually cry.

It was Valentine’s Day on the first day of middle school, and you’d gotten exactly thirty-two Valentine’s Day cards. Your female friends had been overly generous that year, but you were one of the few girls who actually got Valentine’s cards from some of the boys because you’d joined the middle school basketball team that year and most of the boys in your class were just transitioning from the girls-have-cooties, to the girls-are-cute stage, so you had a little attention on you. Brian had joined the basketball team as well, at the insistence of his best friend Sungjin, and so he was present when most of the team members came up to you and handed you Valentine’s Day cards shyly.

It was on the bus ride home that the crime occurred.

“What’s so great about Valentine’s Day cards,” Brian asked snootily. He was sitting in the seat in front of you. You both sat near the front because as much as you hated each other, you were both too scared to sit near the older kids at the back of the bus. Brian was talking to Sungjin loudly, knowing you could hear him. “I think counting how many Valentine’s Day cards you got it stupid, most people just hand them around even to those they don’t like.”

You were annoyed. Who was he to burst your bubble. “How many did you get, Brian?” you demanded.

Brian glared at you. “I don’t know, I didn’t bother counting.”

“Yes, you did!” Sungjin piped up, turning back to give you a pleasant smile. “He told me that he got eight.”

“Shut up!” Brian hissed.

You beamed, understanding why Brian was being so annoying. He was just bitter that he hadn’t gotten a lot of Valentine’s Day cards. To be fair, you knew a couple of girls in your class that thought Brian was cute but none of them had the guts to actually go up to him and give him a card. All the same, the fact remained that you’d gotten a lot more than him and you couldn’t wait to rub it in. You reached into your backpack and pulled out the stack of cards you’d received that day, holding them in front of Brian’s face.

“I got 32,” you said proudly. “Want to see?”

“No,” Brian snapped.

You ignored him. “Look, let me show you who gave me a card. This one’s from Mina, this one’s from Hyojin, this one’s from Eunji-sunbae, this one’s from Jackson from basketball-”

Brian flinched. “Jackson gave you a card?”

“Yup! A lot of the guys from basketball did. Here- Jackson gave me one, so did Mark, so did Jaebum… oh! And this one’s from Sungjin!”

Brian turned his eyes sharply to his best friend. “You gave her a card? Why?”

Sungjin looked lost. “She’s our friend…?”

“No, she’s not! In fact, you know what I think of all your stupid little Valentine’s Day cards?” Brian demanded, snatching the whole stack out of your hands. Before you could speak, Brian had stuck his hands out of the bus window and dropped the entire bunch-all thirty-two cards- out of the window. You watched in absolute horror as all the cards given to you by your friends fluttered out of the window and flew into the air, some of them landing on the street, the sidewalk, and still others disappearing from sight.

You watched silently for a few moments, your hands covering your mouth in horror. Then you turned to Brian with a look of pure hatred, feeling your throat close up.

“I hate you,” you croaked out, leaning back in your seat and turning away from him so that he wouldn’t have the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

–

It was later that evening, while you were doing your homework, that your mother yelled for you to come out of your room. “Brian’s here to talk to you!” she called out. “Come downstairs!”

You went down to see Brian standing on your front porch, shifting uncomfortably between his feet. You glared at him, furious. You’d loved every single one of those Valentine’s Day cards and now you didn’t have any of them. Part of you wanted to punch him right in his pretty face but you held back, folding your arms across your chest and glaring at him.

“What?” you demanded.

Brian bit his lip and stared at the ground. “I’m sorry I threw your Valentine’s Daty cards out of the bus.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever, Brian. You’re a jerk and I hate you, so why don’t you-”

“I know I shouldn’t have done that. You got all those cards because people like you, and people like you because you’re a nice person, so…” he trailed off, handing you a small bunch of cards. “You can have all eight of my cards. And… the one on top is from me.”

Before you could respond, he had turned around and rushed back to his own house, his cheeks pink and refusing to look you in the eyes. You looked down at the stack of cards in your hand. The eight cards at the bottom were addressed to Brian but the one on top was addressed to you. You opened the small pink card with a picture of a cartoon boy and girl holding hands and saw the printed message inside.

You’re cute! it read, and Brian had scribbled his name at the bottom. It was simple, nothing particularly touching or over-the-top or romantic.

But it was the nicest thing Brian Kang had ever done for you, and you hated him a little bit less that day.

–

A/N; Ahhhh, this one was so hard to write! I can’t even remotely imagine what Brian must have been like as a kid somehow, haha. @ijustwantacue​, I kept thinking of your Three Little Kings stories while writing this, hahaha.

[8bitluv-erica]

Only One (DBH FanFic)

Chapter 4~ 1839 words

Sorry about the slow start, things are going to be picking up after this chapter. i hope everyone is enjoying this so far. I am having a lot of fun writing it, and cant wait to share more! 

Connor and Zoey

Only One

 Chapter 4

 Zoey sat patiently in the driver less taxi, waiting as Connor disappeared into the little ranch house. She used this time alone to look out the window and go over the events of the last 48 hours in her head. Party, murder, concussion, Connor, psychopath, Connor. She wasn’t sure how to even process everything that had happened so quickly, two days ago she was a homebody, very rarely leaving the safe little bubble she had created for herself, and now did she even have that anymore?

Her musings were cut short by the sound of the car door opening and connor sliding back into the seat next to her. She looked at the small duffle bag he had retrieved and frowned. “that was really fast, are you sure you got everything you need, I don’t mind waiting.”

         Conner gave zoey a sideways glance as small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, “I appreciate that, but I gathered all I will be needing.” He turned his attention to the cars control panel and entered Zoey’s address before settling back into his seat.

         The car started to make its was down the snowy street, and that’s about when the awkward silence started. Zoey looked down as she rung her hands together, wondering what in the world she was going to do with this situation. Luckily she felt saved when connor broke the silence. “When we arrive at your apartment, I will set up a perimeter with surveillance cameras, also I will need to make a mental map of the facility.” Ok maybe saved was a strong word.

         She brought her attention to connor “wait, did you say cameras?”

         Connor nodded in response “yes, I will be setting up security cameras. Around the building and in your apartment, I will be able to monitor them wirelessly at all times.” He said with satisfaction

         Zoey just stared at him, mouth open slightly, “you are going to put security cameras in my apartment, ones that you have personal access to…at ALL times?”

         Connor studied her face, noting the apparent disapproval “yes”

         Zoey shook her head and slouched in her seat, crossing her arms directing her gaze out the window at the passing city scape. Humming under her breath “every breath you take, every move you make…”

         While he was slightly confused as to why she was humming when she looked so obviously displeased, he took a few moments to process what could be causing her temperament to change so drastically. After a few moments he came to the conclusion that she must be upset about the invasion of privacy. And while there was nothing for it, he did still feel a pang of guilt. “Zoey,” he paused for a moment before continuing “I apologize if ive upset you, it was not my intention, and If it makes you feel better I will only review the footage of the apartment if absolutely necessary.”

         She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, “it does”

           Zoey unlocked the door to her apartment an slowly entered, it looked untouched, like nothing had ever happened, like there hadn’t been a doezen strangers rummaging through her life only hours before. everything was where she left it, and the rose was gone. “damn there good” she muttered as she dropped her bag and shrugged out of her jacket, she walked over to her couch and dramatically fell over the back onto the cusoins with a soft flop. She rolled over onto her back and dangled her feet over the arm of the couch kicking her boots off. Covering her eyes with her for arm. Connor had gotten right to work with his security setup and said he wouldn’t be too long. And zoey just lay there, wonder what they would do when he was done. She sat up and looked around her apartment…what the fuck were they gunna do?

  Connor

         It had taken a little longer than originally anticipated but connor had managed to set up a solid network of cameras throughout the building. All the while making mental documentation of the floor plan of the building. After the last camera was installed he activated the network, he closed his eyes and in a matter of milliseconds had switch his internal interface and was able to view the input from all of the cameras. His LED fluttering at the process. Once satisfied he set off to the stairs, he refused to use the metal death trap of an elevator unless he had too. Once on the top floor he made his way down the hall and stopped outside Zoey’s door. Thinking to himself how this made the third time in 24 hours he found himself looking at the antique wooden door. He knocked softly and waited, he heard Zoey almost instantly “Connor? Connor why are you knocking, just come in.” he entered without further hesitation. Only to stop short after only a few steps, zoey had apparently taken the time while he was installing cameras and made herself busy. He noted that the clutter of her art supplies had been somewhat tamed, the coffee table and other flat surfaces clear and recently wiped down, the dishes were still wet in the drying rack. But what immediately caught his attention and caused his lips to pull into a shy smile, was what Zoey had herself busy with. Next to her couch she had inflated an air mattress and was in the process of making it up when he had entered. “Zoey, what are you doing?” he asked with sweet curiosity

         Zoey looked up from her task and leaned back on her haunches, hands resting on her thighs as she looked from the bed to him. “well I don’t have a guest room, and since you apparently live here for the quote “foreseeable future”” she made air quotations with her fingers, “I’m doing my best to give you a makeshift living space.”

         The sweetness of this gesture had his thirium pump skipping a beat, he walked over to stand beside what was apparently his bed and looked down to meet Zoey’s upturned gaze. She met his eyes and then looked down quickly, Connor’s sensors caught the slight rise in her body temperature and the blush creeping into her cheeks as she spoke “I’m sorry, I know it’s not much, and it’s not very glamorous, but it was the best I had to work wi…” Connor silenced her when he knelt beside her.

         “Thank you, Zoey, it’s wonderful. I very much appreciate you going out of your way to ensure my comfort.” He didn’t have the heart to tell her that he didn’t need a bed because he didn’t sleep. Especially when her face lit up at his approval and praise. There was that feeling in his chest again. His eyes met hers and he couldn’t help but let them linger for a moment, again, admiring how shockingly green and vibrant they were in stark contrast to her long dark eyelashes. Zoey held his gaze for a moment before turning a bright shade of pink and looking away busying herself making the bed. Connor laughed softly as he noticed the blush was tinting the tops of her ears as well.

 Zoey  

She finished making Connor’s ‘living corner’ she guessed she would call it and stood to find connor standing in front of one of her canvases. She had finished that one only days before. the painting was Lovecraftian in nature, featuring an airship with a pretty badass steampunk lady at the helm, flying above the clouds, tentacles emerging from the abyss trying desperately to grasp the ship. That painting had been a commission and would end up paying her rent for the next two months once delivered. She walked over to stand next to connor and let herself admire her own work for a moment.

         Connor spoke without taking his eyes off the painting “you are an extremely talented artist.” Zoey blushed at the complement. And felt herself puff up a little at his praise, she never really shared her art with anyone, the only people seeing it being the ones buying it for one reason or another. It was her passion and calm, and the only thing that kept her sane.

         “Thank you, Connor, that really means a lot” she paused before continuing, “So, am I allowed to leave?”

         Connor looked at her and tilted his head a little at her question “of course, you’re not a prisoner here.” He looked around the apartment before his gaze settled back to Zoey, “You can leave and go wherever you’d like, as your body guard I will follow and keep you safe.”

         Zoey beamed at Connor causing his thirium pump to skip again “Ok that’s good, because I have to deliver this painting so that I can go grocery shopping. I know you don’t need to eat but,” she glanced at her kitchen “I’ve been living off of ramen for the last couple weeks and I would love to make a real meal later”

         Connor frowned at her words and the implications behind them “you’ve eaten nothing but ramen for how long?”

         She picked up the painting and walked over to her table with it, and started gathering packing items to wrap it with “a couple weeks, it was food shopping or utility bills, and I like being warm” she said it so casually “so I had heat and ramen”

         Things started clicking in his mind at her words, the way she carried herself, how she could switch on that wit and sarcasm in a moment, why she chose to live in a building like this. Those little glimpses she had given him the previous night about her background making more sense.  He looked at his feet as he spoke his carefully planned words “Zoey, do you…have any family…or friends in this area?”

         Zoey stiffened at his question while she was wrapping her painting hands hovering over the string she was tying the brown paper with. Without looking up from her task she spoke softly “no, I don’t have friends, and l lost my family along time ago” she squared her shoulders and regained her composure “its just me, alone in my tower, with my ramen” a sad smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she continued to wrap her painting

         Connor instantly felt guilt at his question, he was starting to understand that Zoey had quite a few figurative skeletons in her closet, and that whatever happened to her in her life, must have been hard, before him stood a small fragile human, who despite her current situations continued to smile. He found himself in awe of her presence.

         Zoey finished packaging her painting and looked to Connor, she noticed his LED was settled on a solid yellow, “Connor, are you ok?”

         He looked up to her and smiled softly “yes, lets go get you something to eat that isn’t so high in sodium.”

[agalnamedlunasea]

I posted 3,180 times in 2021

15 posts created (0%)

3165 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 211.0 posts.

I added 42 tags in 2021

#danganronpa - 13 posts

#anti capitalism - 7 posts

#hajime hinata - 4 posts

#komaru naegi - 3 posts

#;^; - 3 posts

#danganronpa summer camp - 3 posts

#resources - 3 posts

#zatch bell - 2 posts

#nagito komaeda - 2 posts

#chihiro fujisaki - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 121 characters

#i just think it’d be funny if hajime had more izuru traits in the form of one long hunk of hair instead of his whole head

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Fucking dying at the fact that there was a large canvas of komahina/wrightworth fan art at the pride event i went to on Sunday

46 notes • Posted 2021-06-07 09:24:57 GMT

#4

These witches gay! Good for them, good for them💖✨🌙🏳️‍🌈

65 notes • Posted 2021-08-10 23:10:46 GMT

#3

Shitpost/ headcanon time y’all

82 notes • Posted 2021-08-22 21:51:25 GMT

#2

Thinking about how even tho I love komahina this is the only drawing I've done of them

93 notes • Posted 2021-11-30 14:36:58 GMT

#1

No one asked but fuck it, here's my thoughts on all the swimsuit sprites for danganronpa

Makoto 9/10

I actually really love when they put makoto in boring clothes. Its always so perfect for him. That said, it IS still kinda boring

Kiyotaka 6/10

Honestly the more I look at it the more I enjoy it. I did have an initial "no no NO" reaction, but Honestly the more I think about it the more I can see him wearing it, and when people comment on it, him defending it as "standard swimwear" and it gives him "less resistance when swimming". However the look of it is pretty boring and it makes his legs look far too long. Also he is far too ripped

Byakuya 7/10

Its pretty much fine, it looks a lil uncomfortably tight, and I wish the gold was more evenly distributed throughout the suit. The strong emphasis the gold puts around the junk is.... not my favorite. But otherwise it looks fine, and yay no abs

Mondo 8/10

Its basically just his coat as swim trunks, they look fine, no real notes. Its solid.

Leon 9/10

Exactly what I'd expect for leon. I really dig the jacket and the gradient on the trunks. The outfit is really solid. The pose they chose is an odd choice but no points lost. Made me Google if baseball players have/ should have abs, ive decided they're fine

Hifumi 9/10

I should note that a good chunk of the scoring is based on how fitting it is for the characters, rather than the look itself. Hifumi would 100% wear swim trunks of his favorite character, regardless of how it looks. Its just fine.

Yasuhiro 10/10

Absolutely perfect stoner/lazy dad vibes. The prints, the somewhat clashing colors that doesn't hurt the eyes, its perfect for him

Chihiro 8/10

Oh thank God. I was so worried about what they'd do for chihiro and honestly its good. Its *slightly* more feminine than I'd go, but it absolutely works. Bright blue and yellow feels like a bit of an odd choice for him, but its still pretty flattering on them.

Sayaka 7/10

Its fine i guess? The shawl is a bit odd, and could go for a bit more pink,but otherwise its fine.

Kyoko 8/10

It's pretty basic, but it fits. Personally I'd have put her in something either high waisted or a one-piece, but it works. I love the gloves with it.

Aoi 8/10

It'd be hard to find something that doesn't work for her at all,and this one is fine. Its a bit of a weird color for her skintone though. Maybe a blue or a different shade of yellow would be better.

Toko/ Jill 10/10

I. Am. Obsessed. I really love the sash, and how it along with the gradient on the bikini changes depending on which of them is fronting. She looks really cute and I think its perfect for her.

Sakura 9/10

Its cute and frilly and she looks beautiful! Its what she deserves. My only note is I'd have picked a less saturated shade of pink. Otherwise perfect 👌

Celeste 10/10

Absolutely perfect for her, and it looks so cute on her. No notes.

Junko 1/10

Excuse me?!? Ms. Junko Enoshima, ultimate despair and fashionista in a *school swimsuit* ?! Absolutely fucking not. What happened to the bikini from the promo art? I really hope there's a plot reason for that or something because what the fuck

Mukuro 3/10

The suit itself is fun and cute but it doesn't feel very mukuro. Im also sooooo disappointed that we're not getting un-disguised mukuro sprites. If anything I think she and junko should switch. She deserves better.

Monokuma 10/10

No notes, exactly what I'd expect

Thh average: 7/10, overall decent.

Hajime 7/10

It looks fine. The orange is unexpected but fine. The radial design is not my favorite but its subtle so I guess it works ok. Its overall kinda boring but it works, though less so than Makoto's boring-ness.

Nagito 9/10

Gay rights! Nah but really I do like the blue on him, its good.

Imposter 8/10

Definitely better than byakuya's. The white is nice on him and is less of a contrast with the gold than black is, which helps a lot. I think he looks great.

Gundham 9/10

The trunks are perfect and I love that he's keeping the scarf and bandages like the absolute chunnibyo he is. Absolutely works

Kazuichi 9/10

Perfect adaptation of his jumpsuit into trunks. Also thank God they kept the beanie. I love kazuichi but no hat on him is a lil cursed.

Teruteru 5/10

Ehhh it fits but I really don't dig it. The roses are weird, as are the black top with white shorts. Not my favorite but its not bad...

Nekomaru 10/10

Exactly what he'd wear. Perfect.

Fuyuhiko 9/10

The trunks really work for him and I dig the necklace with it, its a nice touch

Akane 8/10

Its the same one from the game. It fits and looks nice, but I was kinda hoping for something new. Its at least nice to see her in it without all the blood. Also no abs makes me sad on her especially.

Chiaki 9/10

Again, same one from the game, but it looks perfect on her, no complaints.

Sonia 8/10

It looks really cute on her! They actually picked a flattering shade for her skin tone. The wrap is a little bit long and I can't tell if its supposed to be bulky or if Sonia just got wide ass hips. But she looks cute.

Hiyoko 9/10

Exactly what I'd expect. Slightly too saturated but still cute.

Mahiru 8/10

Wouldn't expect blue but its cute. However the white dots on blue combined with her red hair makes my dumb American brain think 4th of July :/. I think she'd look cuter in a gingham pattern but this works just fine.

Mikan 4/10

I can smell the fanservice coming off of this one. The white of her bikini and bandages makes her seem really washed out, and the bandages look really odd with that style of bikini. Not a fan.

Ibuki 10/10

Perfect for her and super cute. I love the style of it.

Peko 8/10

Same as in the game. So no surprises but still cute.

Izuru 6/10

Very basic and kinda boring. I think a little detail could be nice, but it works

Monomi/Usami 10/10

Look at her!! She's so cute, i love the floatie and the goggles and ruffle, I love it.

SDR2 average: 8/10. Probably my favorite collection overall.

Komaru 3/10

Nooooooooo!! Where's the cute one-piece from the promo art? That one looked much cuter. The shape of the bikini is ok I guess, but that color is awful on her. How could they do my girl like this.

Masaru 9/10

Exactly what I'd expect, I dig the asymmetrical pattern.

Jataro 10/10

I love the jacket!!!!!!! I love that its long and I dig the camo. I also like the cut of the shorts. He looks great.

Kotoko 9/10

Cute, and exactly what I'd expect. No notes.

Nagisa 7/10

Pretty basic but fitting. It looks kind of incomplete tho. I think he'd wear a rash guard.

Monaca 8/10

About what I expected but a little plain.

Kurokuma and shirokuma 9/10

They both look cute! I dig the hats and I love the floatie for shiro

Hiroko 8/10

The jacket is cute and helps the bikini clash less with her hair. Overall looks nice.

UDG average: 8/10, jataro is definitely making up for komaru's lost points.

Shuichi 7/10

This one is just,, so close to being great. The jacket should either be zipped or unzipped, and short sleeved, or maybe even no sleeves. Also the shorts look way too small. Just make them normal trunk size. The idea is just fine but its just a lil off.

Kaito 9/10

As expected, trunks in his signature pattern. Perfect

Ryoma 9/10

It looks fun but a touch off. Maybe give him some sunglasses or something. But overall nice.

Rantaro 6/10

The pink is an odd choice but its fine i guess? I like that he's keeping the jewelry tho.

Gonta 8/10

Cute, absolutely fits him, but its a little boring. Kinda wish they gave him the ponytail he has in the 10th anniversary outfit.

Kokichi 6/10

The shorts are fine, but a lil odd. I miss the jacket from the promo art, so this looks less complete. They got rid of his weird as shit abs though thank God.

Korekiyo 8/10

The wetsuit is very fitting, and I like the design of it, even though it's a bit generic. Keeping the bandages feels a little weird.

Keebo 10/10

The floatie!!!! The goggles!!!!! I love it!!!!

Kirumi 7/10

Its cute,but it doesn't feel very kirumi. I feel like she'd wear a one-piece tbh, or at least not such a small bikini. But I guess its fine.

Himiko 1/10

Oh noooooo what the hell is that? My poor girl, she looks like she bought a shitty cave person Halloween costume, someone stole half of it, and she decided to wear it anyway. It doesn't fit himiko at all, and aside from that it looks terrible. I simply do not believe that himiko wouldn't wear something more "magical" looking. Maybe like purple with some ruffles? Or something with a shawl? Who the hell decided to put her in a one shoulder brown bikini?! I hate it.

Maki 10/10

I really dig the straps and the slightly desaturated red. Give her some abs and its perfect.

Tenko 4/10

Do I believe tenko has good fashion sense? No. Do I believe she'd wear a pink gingham bikini? Also no. It just feels too preppy and feminine for her. Not that she isn't feminine at all, but I think a cool color and either a one-piece or shorts would fit way better.

Tsumugi 7/10

Its suitably boring,but the color feels a little off for her skin tone. Maybe if she and hina swapped color schemes, they'd both be better.

Angie 5/10

Its cute, but its literally just her v3 outfit without the yellow shawl. Paintbrushes and everything. Its a bit disappointing.

Miu 8/10

Of course Miu would wear a leopard print bikini. It absolutely fits her. Maybe they could have done more, but I'm satisfied with it.

Kaede 7/10

The blue is a weird choice for her. If she and tenko swapped thatd work a little better. I just think it'd be nice if they kept her in her signature colors.

V3 average: 7/10, definitely my least favorite overall but its still good.

197 notes • Posted 2021-07-20 15:51:47 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[hauntedbunkbeds]

Day 6: Zen Space

Day 6, Fantasy or Magical Realism: It may get a bad rap, but Fantasy is full of gems! *haha!*

Zen Space

At mile fifteen I usually hit the zen space. The sound of my breathing becomes the only sound I can hear. I focus on the ground in just the few feet of space ahead of me. I become my own little world. I think every thought at once. I am God of this little world, God of myself. I guess that’s the Runner’s High people talk about. I didn’t know what it felt like until I started doing ultra marathons--fifty to one-hundred miles in the woods with a handful of strange people who I have come to love. We’re all the same kind of strange, the be-your-own-God kind.

This race was different though. Bad different. You can always tell when you’re going to have a bad day, sometimes immediately, sometimes before you even start, like a premonition. I’ve seen world champs drop out in the first ten miles. There’s no shame in it. For an undertaking like running one hundred miles in a day, your mind and your body have to be on the same page or one is going to slip off-course, literally or figuratively. I’ve seen runners veer into the woods at a sprint, I’ve seen runners arguing with people who aren’t there. Strange things can happen when you push your body to its limits. It’s like peeking over the edge of a steep cliff, you better have a tight grip on something or you might just slip off into the abyss.

When I didn’t reach my zen space, I got worried. The races usually start hard, then get gradually easier for me as my body falls into its familiar stride. Today, it stayed hard. The Pandora 100-Miler was a notorious course, one I had never run before. The first fifty miles were literally over mountain after mountain, but the second fifty was even worse: A straight shot down a two-lane highway, no shade til nightfall. Just when your prayers of “Please God, not one more hill” are answered, you’re met with sizzling roadkill and blistered shoulders. A man died along that road last year, a drifter, and his body was discovered by one of the runners. I’ve heard the spot is marked by a small white cross.

“When you hit the cross,” my trainer (and girlfriend) Amelia had told me in the dense 4 A.M. fog, “then you’re home free. Twenty miles to go from there.”

I squeezed her hand. Something already felt wrong, but I didn’t want to let her down. She planned to meet me at mile fifty with a flat coke (don’t knock it til you try it) and run the remainder with me as a pacer. I met Amelia at the Rushmore fifty-miler seven years ago. She beat me to the women’s first place spot by fifteen minutes, but I also beat my own PR trying to catch up with her. She was wearing rainbow shorts and her long blonde hair was in a perfect french braid. We ran a few miles together near the middle without saying a word to each other, but I was already in love with her before we even spoke.

...

It was mile twenty-two when I saw the first one. It was pink, but others were blue, green, yellow--all with a soft glow about them like they weren’t quite there. I thought they were lightning bugs at first, and then I thought they were the little spots that dance before your eyes when you get lightheaded or pass out, and then I saw one up close: Fairies. Real fairies.

Okay, I’m losing my mind, I thought.

I ignored them. They were figments of my imagination, after all. I ignored them for a mile, until I realized I wasn’t ignoring them at all, I was following them. I looked up and felt a wave of shock as I took in my surroundings: Deep, lush woods, not a trail in sight.

Oh fuck, oh fuck. I’m lost. I’m one of those runners you read about who went crazy in the woods and never came back. They’re going to find me naked with a flower crown on my head, days from now.

“You’re not lost,” came a voice, the sweetest I had ever heard. I looked up, and it was Amelia. My sweet, perfect Amelia.

“Amelia,” I cooed. “I’m not even close to mile fifty. You shouldn’t have met me here.”

She gave a coy laugh. I noticed she wasn’t wearing her running clothes, but a long, deep green gown, and she wasn’t Amelia. She just looked like her. She had gorgeous long, blonde hair, an amazing athletic build, and long pointed ears.

“I couldn’t wait any longer to show you what I found,” she said.

“What you found?” I repeated. I was walking towards her, but every step I took was met with one step backward as she retreated deeper into the thick woods.

“When I ran Pandora last year,” she said. “I found this place. I had to show you.”

I reached out, wanting to kiss her so badly, but she was always just out of reach.

“Shh!” she said suddenly, and stopped walking. I realized all at once how tired my legs were, how badly I wanted to lay down in the moss-covered ground beneath Amelia’s bare feet.

She pointed to a distant spot and I followed her gaze. There, so deep in the woods I could barely see him, stood a man, or at least, the face and torso of a man. His body was that of a sinewy, muscular horse, white with black and grey freckles. His tail swatted lightly side to side.

“Don’t scare him off,” Amelia whispered. “He’s good luck.”

“Am I dreaming?” I asked. “Am I going crazy? I didn’t feel good this morning. I didn’t want to tell you, but I don’t think I’m going to finish the race.”

“I don’t think you are either,” Amelia said with a little laugh. God I loved her laugh.

“Take this,” she said, and from a small satchel I hadn’t noticed, she pulled a can of coke. “I opened it this morning so it would be completely flat by the time you reached me.”

She handed it to me and I drank deeply. It tasted so real, it felt so real in my hands. The metallic, sugary taste shocked my system back to life. I couldn’t be dreaming, could I?

“Do you want to run now?” I said, trying to snap myself back to reality. I felt energized by the coke, and scared of what I was seeing.

Behind Amelia, the woods began to thin, and through it I began to make out the details of a vast city, a beautiful jigsaw of straw huts, stone towers, colorful tents and leaning rotundas.

“When I found this place last year,” Amelia said. “They told me I was their queen.”

Beyond the city, a castle rose from the mist. Vines climbed up towers, and white flowers bloomed from the vines.

“I told them I would only accept if I could bring my wife,” she said, her eyes not leaving mine.

I blushed, though I don’t know if it would have made a difference on my sunburned and dirt-smeared cheeks. My back of my legs were muddy and my knees and palms were scraped from a little spill a couple miles back on a hidden root. That morning I had put my short hair up in two tiny pigtails which had certainly gone lopsided by now. I felt suddenly out of place as Amelia led me out of the woods and we passed vividly green pastures containing animals I had never seen before. I swear I saw one breathing fire.

“You’re asking me to be your wife?” I asked, just wanting her to say it again. I had suspected she might ask me after the race, part of the reason I was so keen on finishing. She had been acting secretive and overly lovey-dovey the past couple weeks. I thought...a ring. Not a kingdom.

She smiled and nodded, and finally took my hand.

“Run with me?” she asked. She took my toothy grin as a yes.

She squeezed my hand and sprinted ahead. I struggled to keep up, my breathing feeling shallow as she got faster and faster. Soon, the fairies appeared again, only it wasn’t fairies this time. This time it really was the little lights you see before you get lightheaded or pass out, and it was the latter.

...

“Baby? Baby?”

The voice came from a distance, but Amelia’s face floated right above me, wavering like my own reflection in a pool of water. I was on the ground.

“Oh my God,” she said. “You’re alive.”

She had tears in her eyes.

“I thought I had lost you,” she said, falling on top of me in a hug that both crushed me and gave me life. I kissed the side of her head where I could reach it.

I smelled like shit. She smelled amazing. The tip of her french braid grazed my cheek as she lifted herself off me and looked down at me.

“So, I don’t want to rush you, but you didn’t answer my question,” she said in a low voice, a touch of hesitation.

In her hand she held a thin, silver ring embellished with a single deep green stone.

I swallowed back tears from a combination of exhaustion and emotion that had coalesced in my throat.

“Say yes, and it’s all yours,” she whispered.

I looked past her at a deep blue sky, bluer than I’d ever seen in my life. I could almost see the stone turrets rising toward the clouds, green flags fluttering from each window, bearing Amelia’s initials, as a creature with scaled wings rode a current across the skyline, smoke billowing from its nose.

But they weren’t there. I was on the ground at the mile thirty medical checkpoint.

I learned later that Amelia and a volunteer had found me asleep against a tree, just barely off the course. I woke up when they called out to me and was talking coherently the entire time we walked to the medical checkpoint, though I have no memory of this. I also have no memory of Amelia crying as a nurse inserted an IV into my arm, telling me how she thought I was dead, pulling her tiny, precious ring out of her backpack, and asking me to be her wife. I have also conveniently forgotten passing out cold the moment I saw the ring.

“I dreamed you were a queen,” I said, as she slid the ring onto my finger, waiting for her clever retort.

I swear I saw something in her eyes, then, a moment of recognition, and she saw me notice. Her eyes flitted toward the nurse and back to me.

I never asked her about that look, what it meant. I know she’ll tell me eventually, I’m hoping around mile fifteen, right when I hit that zen space.   

[wiener-blut]

i was tagged by my bb @babypaulchen ages ago and now the time has come to finally do this shit!! i told u i was gonna do it Brig!!

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (i wont tag anyone bc im doubting i even know 20 ppl on here lmao)

— what was your last…

1. drink: peach flavoured ice tea 2. phone call: my mom bc i asked her if shes interested in some hyacinth bulbs for her garden since the ones that stood in my room decayed 3. text message: to my cousin, setting a time where we can call and chat 4. song you listened to: actual surprise - its not Rammstein *ooohs and aaahs fly through the crowd* it was “The Schuyler Sisters” from Hamilton 5. time you cried: yesterday bc i had the worst fucking headache ever and i was being a whiny bitch

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: uhh no? 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yes, multiple times and ive come to the conclusion that throwing up makes me feel better afterwards like im back to being able to actually perveice my environment again lmao

— fave colours

12. black 13. pastel pink 14. actually i kinda love all colours idk

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yes! 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: yes, multiple times, good 18. found out someone was talking about you: like uh shittalking? idk so i guess not 19. met someone who changed you: uhhh kinda? 20. found out who your friends are: um well i found out that my friends are good friends and that i love them and that i dont want to miss any of them 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: what? u can “kiss” someone on facebook? lmao i didnt take a look on facebook for literally years .......man i had a massive brainlag here. i thought u can now “kiss” ppl on facebook like u can “poke” ppl on facebook and it didnt come to my mind this could mean “irl” lmao bury me IF it means irl tho, then yes

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: pff idk man who the fuck still uses that shithole of a site anyways

23. do you have any pets: no but i had a super cute and fluffy bunny and i still miss him and think about him everyday also i plan on having half a farm and half a zoo in the future

24. do you want to change your name: not anymore; i used to hate my name bc its so outdated and the only answer i ever got on introducing myself was “hey my grandma has the same name isnt that funny” but then more and more people told me my name was pretty and unique and well now that im older (sounds like im 40 lmao) im even kinda fond of it

25. what did you do for your last birthday: umm uhh i guess i was studying for my exams lol but i remember my gf cooking an amazing dinner for me 💖

26. what time did you wake up today: uhhhhhh smth around 9am i think

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: actually sleeping for once bc that headache knocked me out completely

28. what is something you can’t wait for: fucking going to fucking Hamburg in fucking five fucking days

30. what are you listening to right now: the birds chirping outside

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes i had a classmate named Tom........he was a bit strange tho.......

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: i cant think of anything rn

33. most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube

34. hair colour: natural? blonde / current? dyed it pink two weeks ago

35. long or short hair: long ass hair and i mean, literally, they reach all the way down to my hips

36. do you have a crush on someone: ohhhahahaha so, so many, one - and maybe the king of em all - being Christoph Schneider (not obvious at all cough cough)

37. what do you like about yourself: uhhhhhhhhhhh.........;;;;; i guess... uh... *insert more unintelligent noises* maybe my legs?

38. want any piercings: no, except for maybe some on my ear

39. blood type: 0 positive, i think

40. nicknames: Lily

41. relationship status: super duper gay af with @haifisch-ohne-traenen

42. sign: officially capricorn (i like to say “the last capricorn” bc it sounds like “the last unicorn” and well my birthday is on the last day that still counts as capricorn), but honestly im more of an aquarius

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv show: i recently watched Grimm and the story was okay but the cast was like super adorable and i fell in love with every single one of them

45. tattoos: none. YET. i have plans for so much i just am very bad at deciding

46. right or left handed: right handed 47: ever had surgery: okay, small story time. there are these childrens books by german illustrator and author “Janosch” in which a tiger and a bear are best friends and i used to love those books. so once, tiger got ill (his stripes slipped out of place) and he needed to see the doctor. and the exact line was “soothing small shot, blue dream, surgery over, noticed nothing, tiger healthy”. and i once was in the hospital bc there was something wrong my nose (i dont remember what it was tho) and so they anaesthetized me (and my fav stuffie which i brough with me for mental support) and afterwards i told everyone of my “blue dream” and everyone was like ????? wtf kid bc they didnt know what i was talking about and it was just some months ago when i finally found out that a narcosis isnt called a “blue dream” and that i just knew this bc of this books which i adored and tbh i was like MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE “BLUE DREAM” IS AN ADORABLE TERM FOR IT 48. piercings: none 49. sport: i did ballet for 15 years and i still love to dance around the house and the mother of my best friend once called me cute bc i cant stand still and always spin around or stretch my toes while lifting my leg or do some pliés and tbh i wasnt even aware of that

50. vacation: uh...i love? lmao

51. trainers: umm like my shoes? mostly wearing my black doc martens

— more general

52. eating: i love me some good salad with tomatoes, mozzarella and tuna but ngl a pizza margherita could beat that salad any time. or a nice ragout fin. or mac’n’cheese. i love food in general, okay

53. drinking: i’d kill for a tequila rn. but like non-alcoholic beverage - plain water, yes thank u

54. i’m about to watch: some movie with my gf which we havent decided on yet

55. waiting for: my gf to return home from work so i can smooch her pretty face

56. want: to cuddle honestly

57. get married: since its legal in germany for some months now... idk tbh, its not smth i debate about on a daily basis

58. career: um i have a vague plan for becoming a speech pathologist but yea... its very vague

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs

60. lips or eyes: gotta say eyes

61. shorter or taller: i dont care actually

62. older or younger: um sweats loudly...... older (fun fact i recently calculated the average age of my celebrity crushes....yes i was bored.... and it resulted in 50.... well.....)

63. nice arms or stomach: arms, fucc me up

64. hookup or relationships: relationships

65. troublemaker or hesitant: me? kinda both

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: yes 68. turned someone down: not really?

69. sex on first date: nope

70: broken someone’s heart: probably

71. had your heart broken: uh yea...kinda

72. been arrested: no

73. cried when someone died: yes, im a whiny bitch so i cry easily

74. fallen for a friend: yeah binch im dating that lovely ho right now... im gonna leave Brig’s answer here bc its perf and same here

— do you believe in

75. yourself: ugh

76. miracles: i want to

77. love at first sight: no

78. santa claus: i want to lol but no

79. angels: fuck yes

— misc

80. eye colour: blue-gray-green-ish mud 81. best friend’s name: Dana

82. favourite movie: so? much? i cant decide, really

83. favourite actor: Tom Hiddleston, i love this british dork, lemme tell u

84. favourite cartoon: phuh, idk i dont really watch cartoons

85. favourite teacher’s name: SWEATS LOUDLY AND AGGRESIVELY i had two massive teacher crushes back in my school days and that makes me a bit biased but im gonna say Herr Wolf was a great teacher bc he always said “hey, astronomy’s a minor subject, the test won’t be hard and i wont give u homework, u guys concentrate on math, german and english” and tbh we need more teachers like that

[tsunderrated]

I got tagged by @astolforiderofblack

what was your last…

1. drink; water boys!

2. phone call; i answered a spam call on accident

3. message sent; I think i can do it!

4. song you listened to; i absolutely can not remember this.

5. time you cried; i cry every day cos that’s just how mental illness is

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice; no

7. kissed someone and regretted it; no

8. been cheated on; yah

9. lost someone special; yah

10. been depressed; every day cos that’s just how mental illness is

11. gotten drunk and thrown up; nah

— favourite colours…

12. Blue

13. Pink

14. Yellow

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends; uhhhh. I upgraded an acquaintance to a friend but i dont really think ive made a completely new friend.

16. fallen out of love; absolutely not

17. laughed until you cried; mmmm no? who remembers this for a whole year

18. found out someone was talking about you; no. are they? almost definitely. but i don’t know.

19. met someone who changed you; nah

20. found out who your friends are; been hanging out with like 4 people exclusively if that’s what you mean, as far as irl friends go.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list; yah

— general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know irl; most. there’s a couple i don’t know who i accepted because we had at least 100 mutual friends, but not many. never accepted just a complete and total stranger.

23. do you have any pets; my dog is the most important one in the world

24. do you want to change your name; no, my name is cool

25. what did you do for your last birthday; my family and i went to top golf. this birthday i haven’t decided what i want to do and we’re celebrating in 3 days lol

26. what time did you wake up today; fucking 2:30 ass in the morning. went back to sleep after lunch and i’ll go back to sleep after dinner then i’ll do it fucking again. cool.

27. what were you doing at midnight last night; got damn asleep

28. what’s something you can’t wait for; may/june when i’ve gotten a couple paychecks, have all my bills squared away, and have some fucking disposable income for once.

29. what’s your favourite animal; foxes, red pandas, and dogs

30. what are you listening to rn; it is extremely silent in my room.

31. have you ever talked to a person named Tom; the guy ive been shadowing at work is named tom, also one of my parents’ friends

32. something that’s getting on your nerves; this fucking jobsite i’m on that runs from 2-9 in the morning.

33. most visited website; tumblr almost definitely

34. hair colour; brown

35. long or short; hair? short-medium for a guy. i get it cut pretty short but i also go like 2-3 months without a haircut.

36. do you have a crush on someone; my gf. also i guess i have crushes on some other people but that’s like whatever

37. what do you like about yourself; im hot and talented and a disaster

38. want any piercings; nah

39. blood type; u really think i’m just gonna but my blood type on tumblr.

40. nicknames; meta, that’s about it. my name’s shorter than any nickname that doesn’t sound like baby talk

41. relationship status; in fucking LOVE with my gf

42. Sign; Star Aries Moon Leo Rising Virgo. Star aries is absolutely true and moon leo is generally accurate too but i have never identified less with any horoscope than the rising virgo stuff.

43. pronouns; he/him. idk sometimes i think i’d prefer they/them but idrc that much

44. fave tv show; uhhhh. mbmbam  seeso.

45. tattoos; i have a cicada and an angel right now; i can think of 3 more i know i want a get and a few more ideas i have w/o placement or places i wanna get one but no idea.

46. right or left handed; right

47. ever had surgery; yeah a couple times

48. piercings; none

49. sport; like, to play? i played baseball and soccer as a kid, and i played tennis with my dad occasionally but i wasnt very good.

50. vacation; i’d like to go to japan some day. also i know it became basic but i wanted to go to iceland back before OMAM got popular when no one though about it.

51. trainers; what the fuck does this mean. best gym leader was elesa.

52. eating; nothing?? i had leftover spaghetti for lunch.

53. drinking; water boys!

54. about to watch; i’ll catch up on this season’s anime soon.

55. waiting for; the sweet release of death

56. want; the sweet release of death

57. get married; for sure

58. career; in the end, something musical. I’m not sure what i’d most enjoy yet.

— which is better…

59. hugs or kisses; mmmm close but hugs probs

60. lips or eyes; what? i like my eyes and lips both very much.

61. taller or shorter; i’d like to be taller. i like shorter girls.

62. older or younger; this is so fucking weird. is this supposed to be about a partner or like if i’d rather get younger or older. what is this question.

63. nice arms or stomach; stomach

64. hookups or relationships; i love my gf very much so relationships. if i didn’t have her though? uhhh probably hookups for a while

65. troublemaker or hesitant; what.

66.  kissed a stranger; yah

67. drank hard liquor; yeah i mostly drink rum. usually either rum and coke or add something fruity though, i don’t drink liquor straight usually

68. turned someone down; yeah

69. sex on first date; uhhh. i’m usually more of a “sex before the first date” kinda guy.

70. broken someone’s heart; almost definitely

71. had your heart broken; absolutely definitely

72. been arrested; nope

73. cried when someone died; not usually when, it doesn’t usually hit me til after.

74. fallen for a friend; hmmm. i guess never really a close friend. they’re usually acquaintances or friends of friends or i ask them out before we have a chance to be friends

— do you believe in…

75. yourself; sometimes

76. miracles; usually

77. love at first sight; yeah

78. Santa Claus; no. who the fuck believes in santa clause.

79. angels; hm

— misc…

80. eye colour; blue/grey

81. best friends name; uhhhhHHHH

82. Favourite movie: i really like Her and Moonrise Kingdom. One of those.

83. favourite actor; my boy Jakey G (jake gyllenhaal)

84. favourite cartoon; Avatar the Last Airbender is hands down the best animated show ever. i dont generally consider it a “cartoon” but sure

this is so fucking long i’m not gonna tag anyone but if were mutuals and you want to do it just say i tagged you

[gaarfielf]

my list of lupin movies ive watched for the sake of keeping track and making sure i dont rewatch some

Castle of Cagliostro (10)

favourite Lupin movie of all time. Fantastic art, cast, plot, everything.

Blood Seal: Eternal Mermaid (8.5)

Really good animation and really interesting plot. Another ‘Lupin has to babysit’ movie but it was treated in such a way that set it apart from other ones. He gives her a lot of good advice and overall I really enjoyed this one even if it’s kind of underrated.

Burning Memory - Tokyo Crisis (8.5)

Surprisingly good like I wasn’t expecting a 90′s Lupin movie to come for me like this but the animation is really solid and the movie itself was really funny. I also liked that Maria and Zenigata weren’t a thing like that cleared my pores.

The Bloodspray of Ishikawa Goemon (8)

The animation is fucking stellar but there were odd gaps in the movie that were really inactive. I liked the two subplots going on though like they were both interesting.

Bye Bye Lady Liberty (8)

The classic convoluted subplots worked well here tbh and the Goemon romance stuff was gunshot noise gunshot noise cash register noise. The animation had this weird glow to it but it was (almost) the 90s lol

Hemingway Papers (8)

They really got me with Goemon and Jigen going against each other and Lupin being in a relationship with someone aside from Fujiko (a relationship that was genuinely romantic) was actually pretty well done. That whole bit at the end with the karaoke machine? Amazing

Return the Treasure (7)

Another one that was really close to being perfect. The only loose ends was that the “treasure” wasn’t really explained very well (but i mean, the lead up to it was very good) and i could’ve done with more scenes with the whole gang (it seemed like there was a lot of times where it was lupin jigen and fujiko or lupin goemon and fujiko, but not enough of all of them together)

From Siberia With Love (7) 

The usual amount of humour and action from a Lupin III film and the art is pretty standard. Goemon got a few nice quotes in and Fujiko talked to a woman. Could’ve done without Rasputin but thats just me.

Elusiveness of the Fog (7)

Lupin offering Goemon to the princess was kinda funny and I actually really liked OG Mamo (not the short freak) being revitilized bc his episode in the original series was really entertaining. The history of where they were was a little wonky but I’ll give it to them this time.

Pilot Film (7)

That shit was wild i liked how jigen was introduced as the gunman and then beat the shit out of 3 police officers with his bare hands. also goemon i guess dedicates his life to killing lupin so thats fun, like he’s on zenigata’s side i guess. could’ve done with fujiko making an expression at any given time but yknow what? it was funny and it was only 12 minutes long

Another Page (7)

Surprisingly not that bad. To summarize the film as a whole I’d say: it could have been worse. The plot made sense which is more than i can say about most lupin movies and they stuck to two subplots that were both interesting and meshed pretty good by the end. And the two lady characters that got introduced didn’t betray anybody AND didn’t die.

Farewell to Nostradamus (6.5)

The animation was pretty good and I liked the whole ‘we gotta protect this kid’ thing but I always mix up this one and Bye Bye Liberty Crisis like this movie is it’s less interesting twin. Both of them have kids they need to protect but Bye Bye Liberty Crisis was just better. I feel like this one had a really good ending but aside from that the movie wasn’t that memorable for me.

Fuma Conspiracy (6.5)

i liked Goemon being in a relationship bc it was really sweet, i just wish there wouldve been a better balance of romance to plot. Also terrible voice actors but that just affected my enjoyment not really the plot or anything relevant.

Sweet Lost Night (6)

I like time shenanigans and my only two critiques are the inconsistent art quality and they seemed really hesitant to embrace time skipping. Like “he’s limited to twice before he becomes brain dead” was a little bit of a small window. If anything they missed out on a good opportunity for a classic lupin montage of him time skipping way too often. Maybe if they changed it to “you skip time every 12 hours, to every 6 hours, to every 3 hours, etc” until he stops existing?? like that seems more in line with a lupin plot not to mention a little more suspenseful.

Dead or Alive (6)

The new art style is kind of neat and didn’t really affect the personality of the characters like I thought it would. The plot itself was complicated and hard to follow but I mean, it wasn’t awful. Nothing I really hated and nothing I loved.

Jigen Daisuke’s Gravestone (6)

Handsome Jigen was cool but tcm i’m begging you to drink your Respect Women Juice. Also Goemon wasn’t in this one what the fuck was up with that. Lupin looked like a crispy toenail in the new art style but again the animation is gucci so I can’t really complain on that front.

Napoleon's Dictionary (6)

Reminded me a lot of Mamo except with more respect in women. Just kidding Fujiko was kind of a crapshoot in the end and the ending was more or less just. cut off?? like they crashed into the ocean after lupin ruined zenigatas marriage and the credits started rolling. it was weird bc it had a lot going but i guess they ran out of time for a proper ending?

Mystery of Mamo (6)

Respect Women Juice needed and also why was Goemon purple. The pros to this movie was the overall aesthetic being really attractive BUT the plot was sketchy and didn’t make a lot of sense. The only remarkable scene I remember is Jigen shooting the can by Lupin’s feet like I wish that emotion would’ve carried through the film and not ended there.

Red vs Green (5)

Really good animation, no fucking idea what happened in this film.

Walther P-38: Island of Assassins (5)

They missed an opportunity to be a little more psychological and the lady of the week dying was meh but I will say the plot stayed on course like they didnt try to do too much at once like they tend to do. I wish they would’ve delved more into lupin’s past with the doctor because that seemed kind of random but the more lethal, edgy plot was handled decently. I’ll probably forget this one in a week tbh.

Dragon of Doom (5)

I like learning more about Goemon but his girlfriend was really distracting and uneccessary. Like, if you want to introduce Goemon’s childhood friend sure its whatever but she only showed up to either threaten lupin or flirt with Goemon. And it was very obvious she was going to betray him so all her build up was pointless. I will say though, the plot was pretty cool which was surprising.

Voyage to Danger (4)

tcm I’m begging you to let Jigen talk to a woman and not have it be like ‘this is Jigens girlfriend now’. Sometimes women be talking and they aren’t thirsting for a man triple their age. It just be like that sometimes. Thats literally all I remember about this film.

First Contact (4)

I remember being excited for this like ‘oh wow their first ever meeting’ and i s2g this film was boring. And also a giant plothole. With no real redeeming qualities. I don’t even remember the animation being that good.

Columbus Files (4)

This film was at least funny bad but my hand to god I’d never watch it again. This is the first time I’ve ever watched a movie and had to watch the dub bc the sub was boring me to death. It was just... so bad... Especially when you’ve seen Wings of Death like this ain’t the Fujiko I know please leave.

Seven Days Rhapsody (3)

The comedy in this one was so weirdly incorporated and featured another really good ‘here’s Jigen’s dead girlfriend’ that i just could not care less about and then finished off with this what like 13 year old girl asking to be Lupin’s girlfriend? fuck outta here. The ONLY good part was Goemon slapping Lupin across the face.

Alcatraz Connection (2.5)

Really, really boring. The content wasn’t necessarily bad but they had 4 subplots going on that were equally uninteresting and some scenes went on for so so so long. It deadass took me 5 hours to watch this movie bc i kept pausing to do literally anything else. The art was unpleasant and by the time they got the treasure i didn’t really care anymore. Not to mention the plot was way too complicated and tin-foil hat for my liking.

Missed by a Dollar (2.5)

Made very little sense and in general was really annoying. Between Goemon being a born again Christian and the plot briefly derailing so Lupin could establish an oil company it was like can we pick something to focus on? By the end of the movie I was like wait when did they get the broach? What does the broach do again? And then he gives it to someone random and its like??

Gold of Babylon (2)

This one if the definition of being cursed and Pink Jacket deserved so much better than this nonsense. Like Lupin III isn’t known for its coherence, sure, but this movie had absolutely no structure. Upon finishing the film I was trying to remember anything that just happened and my brain refused. It kept the good cartoonish animation but god at what cost.

Angel Tactics (2)

TCM PLEASE DRINK YOUR RESPECT WOMEN JUICE. The art was just. Stunningly bad. Bad to the degree where about a minute thirty in I already regretted starting it. Not to mention the classic “we don’t actually wanna draw this part so we’re gonna jam cgi in here”. Also the most awkward use of “hey heres 3 women hey heres 3 men lets shove them together”.

Harimao’s Treasure (2)

nazis and transphobia which was extremely unfortunate considering the opening was actually one of the stronger ones I’ve seen from Lupin but immediately after the villain was introduced the quality of the film dropped about 90% and i wanted to die for the entire last half of the film. if they had changed the villain it would’ve solved 90 of their problems.

Twilight Gemini (2)

this was one of the only films in the entire lupin series where i was rooting for lupin to fucking perish. not only was goemon only in this film for 26 seconds, jigen was there for about 30 seconds and im not entirely sure if fujiko was there at all. not to be that guy but when they make lupin to be the most intolerable piece of shit in the world for this movie, don’t give him all the screen time. having to stare at this asshole for an hour and a half was exhausting.

Princess of the Breeze (2)

How a movie where Jigen has to carry a baby around in one of those funny baby-carriers turned out this fucking goddawful I have no explanation for. This movie was like an AU where all these other characters no one cares about happen to exist in the same universe as lupin. and when lupin does show up, i want him dead. Just horrifically boring and lazy art mixed with bad cgi. The only upside is that it isn’t Return of the Magician.

Return of the Magician (1)

I’m giving it a 1 on the principle that this wasn’t even a movie. It was a little less than an hour long and my god i’ve never seen a film so full of pad-time that if i can be so bold, there was more pad time than plot. What little plot they had made absolutely no sense and the art used cgi in the most bizarre and ugly ways. i’m pretty sure the credits played twice at the end. if there was a world record for lowest budget in a film, Return of the Magician would win hands down.

[richard-the-boy-wonder-blog]

I was tagged by: @rebel-eds , thanks for giving me something to do B 💓

1. last drink?: Shitty imitation coffee. 

2: last phone call?: my mommy.

3. last text message?: "okay mommy" you can only guess who i sent it to.

4. last song you listened to?: Best Friends by Grandson. (Its a banger beatbi suggest everyone give it a listen)

5. last time you cried?: Thusday night last week.

6. dated someone twice?:  Yes, and i was mistaken both times.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: I kissed a guy who only kissed me to date my mom.

8. been cheated on?: Yeah actually, and the kicker was that it was an irl relationship between me and this person and they cheated on me with someone from across the country... So.

9. lost someone special?: Not really?

10. been depressed?: Oooooh boy.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up?:  Story time! Ive been black out drunk, once. I invited my current bf over for some video games (we had been dating for like a month maybe) and i thought "boy imma get stupid and put the moved on him" drank 2 things of box wine to myself (1 box is equal to 4 glasses of wine lol) ended up getting sick really fast and left my bf to watch my younger 2 siblings while i threw up. Thats all i remember. (I think i also tried to shave my legs?)

Fave colors

12. Green (every single shade)

13. Black, like oil black so its not as dark.

14. Like a dusty brown yellow color.

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends?:  I think so? I hope so cause theres alot of people on here i just recently met that im already considering my friends.

16. fallen out of love?: Yes... Honestly its the saddest feeling in the world.

17. laughed until you cried?: I did that last night over the fact i said i wanted to become a professional hotdog juicer.

18. found out someone was talking about you?: Yeah, im a snoopy bitch.

19. met someone who changed you?: Oh yes, some of them were for the better, but this one person im thinking in particular... I wish he would stop.

20. found out who your friends are?: Yeah actually, i moved and alot of the people i considered "friends" started talking crap, and alot of the people i just considered stuck up for me.

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: Does my mom count?

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl?: Like a solid 80% of them, others are people i briefly met at cons or whatever.

23. do you have any pets?: I have 2 kitties! My sisters fat cat Juno and my demon Leia.

24. do you want to change your name?: Not really, i feel like ive got a pretty cool name.

25. what did you do for your last birthday?: I cried and threw up on myself lol.

26. what time did you wake up today?: 8:46 am i remember because i wooe up amd the first thought i had was: "if i dont get up the carrots will attack."

27. what were you doing at midnight last night?: Editing my fic and watching School of Rock.

28. what is something that you can’t wait for?: I have a sad life thats going nowhere so i have nothing to look forward to.

30. what are you listening to right now?: California Dreamin' by The Mamas and Papas.

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom?: I worked for a guy named Tom. Tom was an asshat.

32. something getting on your nerves?: The fact that im not aloud to sing or dance around the hoyse anymore.

33. most visited website?: Tumblr lol.

34. hair color?: I had purple hair before i dyed it brown, so its kinda like orangy brown with a tint of pink.

35. long or short hair: This is a hard question because my hair is a mega floof. So it looks short but when i flat iron it its fairly long.

36. do you have a crush on someone?: Honestly.... I think so.

37. what do you like about yourself?:  Im not a huge fan of my outsides (my appearance) but i love my insides. I think im hella funny, and goofy but i know im not very pleasant to look at. But thats okay ☺

38. want any piercings: I already have my snake bites and 2 holes in each ear, but im dying to have my bellybutton, eyebrow, and either my nipples or tongue done. (Maybe a double helix UGH i dont know)

39. blood type: i think im AB positive?

40. nicknames: Jae, JJ, Jada, Scoob, scooberndude, bug, beb, moose, little angry one, you.  

41. relationship status: Taken.

42. zodiac: imma Capricorn.

43. pronouns: I mostly go by They/them, but im okay with her/she too.

44. fave tv show: Ive re-discovered 'Dan vs. Everything' and im in love.

45. tattoos: ive got 4, 1 on my left arm, 2 of my right. And one on the back of my neck (i should just face reveal and show them honestly i get asked about them so much)

46. right or left handed: left handed (imma diamond in the rouge)

47. ever had surgery: GOD NO.

48 . piercings: Yep like i said before. Ove got 6, my snake bites and 2 in each ear.

49. sport: I USE to play baseball amd hockey. (I was also on a roller derby team if that counts)

50. vacation: I haven't been on vacation since i was 8.

51. trainers: No.

more general

52. eating: I was told that you should drink water 20 minutes before eating, because dehydration can feel like hunger. I started doing that like a week ago and ive eaten maybe 4 times since 😂

53. drinking: Water 😎 (hydration is sexy, yall should go get some)

54. im about to watch: myself post this amd regret it.

55. waiting for: my mom to get home so i can come put of my room.

56. want: More records.

57. get married? After some consideration, probably not ever gonna happen.

58. career: i dunno yet, i just know i wanna go to film/art school!

59. hugs or kisses: keeses 😙

60. lips or eyes: The eyes.

61. shorter or taller: i dont really mind either, evidentally though its always tall because im short as fuck.

62. older or younger: Still doesnt really matter to me, as long as they aint a pedo.

63. nice arms or stomach: Arms, because i love being held.

64.  hookup or relationship: a relationship where you pretend not to know each other and "hook up"

65. troublemaker or hesitant: im not really either? Like im not very shy, but im not so far out there that i get in trouble.

66. kissed a stranger: Thats how you get hepatitis.

67. drank hard liquor: Yes, i still would but i get hella nervous about it (im a stoner not a drinker eeeeh)

68. lost glasses: yep! Thats why i dont have them now.

69. turned someone down: Not really. No one has ever asked me out before :/

70. sex on the first date: im a hoe and proud, but this is a major no no.

71. broken someones heart: i think so... But they broke all of me first.

72. had your heart broken: Ive had alot more than just my heart broken.

73. been arrested: Yes i was arrested when i was 9.

74. cried when someone died: Ive been crying over David Bowie for 2 years now, yes.

75. fallen for a friend: This is the only way i can get into a relationship

do you believe in…

76. yourself: Yes! I can do the thing!

77. miracles: Sadly no, ive never had one happen for me.

78. love at first sight: Kinda? Like it starts out as "i wanna punch your face in" at first site, and THEN i fall in love.

79. santa clause: yes because my papa is santa.... I seen it.

80. kiss on a first date: i always barf if someone tries to kiss me on the first date. (Not because it grosses me out but because i got bad anxiety lol)

81. angels: Absolutly because all my friends are angels 💓

82. best friend’s name: I... I dont have one? (Does my twin count? Her name is Dawn)

83. eye color: Green!

84. fave movie: Probably Pretty in Pink.

85. fave actor: Lesie motherfucking Jones! This girl is amazing, she went to an art school in Colorado for a basketball scholarship and ended up in theater and on SNL instead. I aspire to be cool enough to earn my way onto SNL.

I should tag some peepes: @trashmouthmissy @spaghetti-head-eds , @thegreatwhiteferret , @beepbeepbongoboyy , and anyone else who wants to do this can and tag me saying i tagged you 😎

[agrestenoir]

where adrien flirts

so adrien has a little problem: he likes marinette. like he really, honest-to-god likes her, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. his track record with girls isn’t so stellar. after he confessed his feelings to ladybug as chat noir, she calmly turned him down and admitted she liked someone else. so as nino would say, without a lady to tie him down, adrien agreste is single and ready to mingle. 

but he’s always been single?? and what does mingle even mean?? like, nino, what the hell, dude?? help a man out. 

so nino sits him down and explains how to get his crush. with his previous crush, nino tells him, adrien obviously didn’t do it right, and that’s why she turned him down (nino doesn’t know it was ladybug, and he just likes to think adrien was crushing on a supermodel who was totally out of even his league). 

nino: “you gotta flirt, man. the ladies love a dude who’s chill and cool and confident. you gotta rock it and own it. you got this.” adrien: “but how? every time I go to her, she looks at me, and I can’t... make my words work.” nino: “....you two are perfect for each other.” adrien: “what?” nino: “what?”

nino gives him an article with a few tips for flirting. this shouldn’t be too bad, and hey, it worked on alya, nino swears by it. so with 10 Flirting Techniques That Are Garunteed to Work on Women on his mind, adrien is determined to woo the ladies.

1. set the stage with the “soft stare”: so all he had to do was stare at marinette as deeply as possible whenever they had a conversation while maintaining a calm and relaxed expression. marinette likes to stutter and stammer her ways through her words, and he couldn’t blame her, because he lost control when he tried to talk to her as well, and usually her antics made him smile and laugh. but according to the tips, he wasn’t allowed to.

it’s all good for a week or so, until nino pulls him aside and asks why he looks like he’s plotting how to murder marinette in her sleep like some type of serial killer every time he talks to her. 

he stops talking to her after that. alya tracks him down a few days later and whacks him upside the head for making her best friend cry by ignoring her. adrien goes back to talking to marinette as normally as possible after that because it’s better to talk to her as friends than invoke his “killer smile” while trying to flirt.

2. be vague and leave her wanting more: adrien has this in the bag. he knows how to skirt around a topic, but that’s just because he has to make sure he kept his secret identity as a superhero of Paris a... secret. being vague is one of his best talents, it also helps with those stupid paparazzi who always follow him. the article offers some suggests: tell her you know a secret about her, tell her there’s something interesting about her and you can’t put your finger on it, tell her that’s she exactly your type but don’t tell her what you type actually is, etc. he spends most of the night plotting his exact words, and the next day, when he sees marinette, it just comes spilling out...

adrien: “i know your secret, marinette.” marinette: “...what?” well shit, adrien thought, the article didn’t tell him what happened after this. adrien: “...i know it. your secret... i knew there was something about you that i couldn’t put my finger on.” marinette: “...wait, so you know? ohmygodthiscan’tbehappening,ohmygod, how did you figure it out???”

adrien wasn’t sure what to do after this point, so like the article said, he leaves her wanting more and nopes the fuck outta there, cha-cha sliding out of the classroom and bolting down the hallway before she could catch him.

3. the sensual look: once a girl is comfortable around you, give her a mischievous look that makes her think. the article (and nino) never really explain what the girl will think about, but adrien totally supports girl empowerment and helping those smart cookies get the best grades and brilliance recognition they deserve. if a mischievous smile is all it takes, then he’s more than happy to help.

he flashes her a quirky smirk in Madame Bustier’s lecture, marinette notices and freezes up. he thinks he did it wrong when nino just leans closer and says, “you broke marinette.”

adrien apologizes after class and swears he’ll never break her again. marinette just mumbles, “you can break me anytime.”

adrien thinks it’s counterproductive. 

4. the surprise wink: whenever you pass her, just wink after you lock eyes, nino says, she won’t expect it and it’ll surprise her but give her the clear and distinct message that you are flirting with her. adrien wants marinette to know he likes her and wants to flirt with he rand wants to date her and just be with her, so he winks every time he gets. 

they see each other in class? wink he catches her eyes while they study for physics? wink they talk about madame bustier’s homework? wink she asks him for his opinion on her designs? wink 

at first, she giggles. after two weeks, she presents him with a bottle of over-the-counter artificial tears for his “eye twitch.” he stops winking after that and doesn’t talk to nino for the rest of the day.

5. the playful bump: playful actions, like bumping, will definitely make a girl smile. 

adrien: “but nino, i could hurt her.” nino: “no, my dude, she knows you’re teasing.” adrien: “i don’t care if she knows. what if i knock her over?” nino: “no, you don’t do it hard, you just--” adrien: “what if she falls over and breaks her nose? i don’t wanna break her nose, nino. she has a cute nose.” nino: “adrien, you’re not gonna break her--” adrien: “niNO”

6. the understatement: understate the compliments you give her, okay, okay, adrien can do this. it’s simple.

adrien: "marinette, your eyes are blue... like avatar's skin. just blue.. all over.. it's great. not the brightest blue, but not the darkest. just blue. you have blue eyes, marinette." marinette: *is speechless* nino: "...you nailed that, adrien." adrien: "oh thanks, nino."

7. the double negative, “i don’t think you’re not beautiful”:  adrien: “but i do think she’s beautiful.” nino: “i know, you’re telling her that.” adrien: “but you just said i don’t think she’s beautiful?” nino: “no, no, you said you don’t think she’s not beautiful, so ergo you think she is beautiful.” adrien: “...grammar hurts my head, nino.” nino: “i know, my dude, i understand.”

8. the sensual tease, tease her for liking you: okay, but adrien doesn’t know if marinette likes him like that? nino swears she does, and alya says so too, but it still makes him feel bad for teasing her. so he doesn’t tease her and just keeps doing stuff like he normally does, like walking her home from school and helping her study physics and giving her advice for her designs and keeping a stash of food for her on the mornings she runs late and he knows she didn’t have breakfast yet.

nino rolls his eyes, but adrien doesn’t care. his momma didn’t raise no hooligan. no, if he was going to flirt with marinette, at least he can be a gentleman about it.

9. the moniker: giving her a cute nickname will let her know how special she is. adrien spends a week thinking about it, and nino gives him a few suggestions, but he doesn’t listen. if he’s giving marinette a nickname, it has to be something he does because it’ll let her know she’s special to him.

a few days later, he slips up and calls her “princess” because she’s pretty, sweet, smart, likes pink, and is a natural born leader just like a royal. marinette freezes when he calls her that, but she smiles and laughs eventually. she seems to like it, and he keeps doing it. it’s fitting, he supposes, for someone like her. marinette, his princess.

does that mean he gets to be her knight?

nino calls him a nerd.

10. tell her how you feel: it’s the last step, and adrien agonizes over it for days. it can’t really be as simple as nino makes it out to be, but then again, his best friend has been dating a pretty sweet gal for months, so it obviously worked for him. adrien broods over it for a while, and alya warns him not to ignore marinette for days again, and he swears he isn’t. he’s just trying to find his courage. why oh why is it so much easier to face an akuma with certain death hanging over his head than tell a girl how he really feels?

marinette decides to take matters into her own hands, which he isn’t really surprised by because she usually is a head-strong, independent female. what he is surprised by is when ladybug swings into his bedroom window and transforms into marinette right before his very eyes.

marinette: “why are you ignoring me? did i do something wrong?” adrien: *adrien.exe has stopped working* marinette: “...adrien?” adrien: “...you’re... ladybug?!” marinette: “yeah, i know. you know. we’ve been over this--” adrien: “nononoNO, we most certainly haven’t.” marinette: *marinette.exe has stopped working* adrien: “...marinette?” marinette: “I... but you said you knew my secret.” adrien: “I WAS BEING VAGUE.” marinette: “WHY?!” adrien: “IVE BEEN FLIRTING WITH YOU.” marinette: “...you have?” adrien: “well, i was trying--”

plagg: *pops out of adrien’s pocket* “oh, are we trading secrets?” tikki: *pops out of marinette’s bag* “I think so?” plagg: *holds out paw to marinette* “fine. im plagg, i turn him into chat noir. nice to finally meet you. i’m glad you guys are finally telling each other, it’s been so tiring listening to him mooning over you. do you have any cheese?” marinette: “...you’re chat noir?” adrien: *dies*

so marinette and adrien are dating now, so in a way he thinks his plan worked? that doesn’t stop marinette from asking him how he thought he’d been flirting, so he tells her nino’s tips. she laughs for a week straight. that’s the last time he ever listens to nino.

an adrien version of this post. some people asked for an adrien version, it’s not directly a sequel, but still another au. just two nerds trying to flirt and failing spectacularly. 

[the-casbah-way]

Here’s a Tag :3

I was tagged by @donttalktomewhenimreading thank u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ik this is so long but cba putting a read more in soz

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

im not tagging twenty bc fuck the police but i always tag the same ppl so just do it

THE LAST

1. drink: idk im in my room but i cant leave bc i have so much work to do and if i do i’ll get distracted pls send help ive forgotten what liquid is 


2. phone call: my pal big daddy dave 


3. text message: i think the same person 


4. song you listened to: no clue lmao 


5. time you cried: yesterday but a guy gave me a permanent marker to do eyeliner with so it didnt smudge but i only did a little bit bc i was scared but its all good bc it came off 


6. dated someone twice: i guess but idk what my life is


7. kissed someone and regretted it: YES lmaoooo

8. been cheated on: not that i know of lmao but probs

9. lost someone special: it’s my entire villain origin story so yes ?


10. been depressed: have you met me

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: who do you think i am  3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. PINK 13. yellow 14. idk man

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. made new friends: yea! fuck knows how tho!

16. fallen out of love: u avin a giggle

17. laughed until you cried: yea like every five seconds

18. found out someone was talking about you: yea but not in a bad way..im sure they have been tho lmao


19. met someone who changed you: big daddy pollitt

20. found out who your friends are: i already knew bc im woke

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: yea tryna work my way thru the lot feel

GENERAL

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: like almost all of them

23. do you have any pets: i used to :(((((


24. do you want to change your name: kinda but i dont use it as much now so idm


25. what did you do for your last birthday: i genuinely cant remember but im sure it was wild

26. what time did you wake up: no clue probs bout 7/8 


27. what were you doing at midnight last night: praying of course


28. name something you can’t wait for: i could use this opportunity to make a really edgy joke but im not going 2 be that gal 

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like five seconds ago she threw a melon at me

31. what are you listening to right now: the sound of time running out god i will die in this place

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i had a dream i was on a train w tom jones can i count that thks

33. something that is getting on your nerves: literally everything woops


34. most visited website: idk 

35. hair colour: blonde boyz rule the world

36. long or short hair: BOY she long (i need 2 get it cut urgently its becoming an issue)

37. do you have a crush on someone: cringe lol

38. what do you like about yourself: next question lol

39. want any piercings: i was gonna get my seconds done but our school r being right crazy about it and sending ppl home who have more than one piercing lmaooo.....i also kinda want to get an eyebrow piercing bc my cousin has one and it looks killer but my doctor said i shouldnt get piercings bc of my skin/allergies and i ignored her and my ears were infected for a year lmaoo

40. blood type: idk i asked mabel but she didnt say

41. nickname: big bopper how many times do i have to tell you

42. relationship status: mentally dating james spader, irl repulsed by everyone

43. zodiac: aries

44. pronouns: big/bopper

45. favourite tv show: all of them! :) 

46. tattoos: none but i want one....but like....a rlly small one...a little star or anchor or sth cute...no biggie....but i wanted it on my ankle and we wear tights 2 school so they’lll see and kick me out and i need ma grades lmao

47. right or left handed: right bc im mainstream


48. surgery: WHAT ABOUT IT

49. piercings you have: just earrings

50. sport: im rlly sad bc the only sports im actually good at are tennis and badminton and kinda golf and football and the weather is too shit for most of that


51. vacation:what

52. pair of trainers: why do ppl call them trainers theyvee not trained you in anything don t give them credit for sth they havent done

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: pussy (insert laugh track)

54. drinking: i drink 2 forget but i always remember

55. i’m about to: nut

56. waiting for: a reason2 be ablive

57. want: A REASONT O BNE ABLIVE


58. get married: i love weddings and dresses and pretty things but like getting married?? no lmaoo fuck outta here 


59. career: i literally want to do everything

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: please do not touch me girl

61. lips or eyes: eyes but when u like someone then u look @ their lips youre like hey there

62. shorter or taller: taller
 i guess

63. older or younger: depends what we talking bout


64. nice arms or nice stomach: personality am i right ladies

65. hook up or relationship: nothing fills the void


66. troublemaker or hesitant: dont b hesitant its boring


HAVE YOU EVER

67. kissed a stranger: dk


68. drank hard liquor: NEVER GAIN


69. lost glasses/contact lenses: i lose them every day lmao


70. turned someone down: turn down for what

71. sex on the first date: ive only been on a date once i think...like a proper date...and no

72. broken someone’s heart: yes but its the price you got to pay for looking this fly


73. had your heart broken: i break it myself. in lots of mundane little ways. my dad taught me if you want something done right do it yourself 


74. been arrested: talk to my lawyer bitch

75. cried when someone died: yeaboy

76. fallen for a friend: idk i dont understand feelings at all and it scares me

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

77. yourself: who he 


78. miracles: you sexy thang

79. love at first sight: no 

80. santa claus: why would u ask that he real

81. kiss on the first date: u do you


82. angels: i didnt til i saw steve buscemi

OTHER

83. current best friend’s name: idk i dont categorise my friends

84. eye colour: like bluey grey i think but idk i dont look into my own eyes

85. favourite movie: dont ask i’ll die