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kweebtrash · 5 years

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Eres Mia (M)

Messy Chapter 8

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Angst, Smut, a smidge of fluff/awkwardness

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: mentions of drugs/alcohol, talks about suicide, the teeeeniest bit of violence, possibility of emotional manipulation, jealousy/possessiveness

Features: unprotected sex, creampies, rough fingering/finger sucking, oral/throat fucking, a little hint of bondage, rough hair grabbing, squirting, overstretching/gaping, daddy/princess dynamics, choking, relentless/brutal/deep thrusting, a bit of overstimulation/multiple orgasms, also being covered in cum

Word Count: 21,103K

A/N: So explanation about this chapter: It has some cultural references that maybe not everyone will get but I can explain them if anyone wants to send me a question about it. If you haven’t figured it out (or even just made a generalization) Eri is afro-carribean (the exact island is left vague on purpose, but it would be in the latinx part of the cluster). There’s also spanish in the chapter and tbh use google translate and if you still have problems again just message me.

Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories

The Boys Group Chat

Taeyong: 5

Lucas: what???

Ten: 5 what?

Taeyong: my score with Eri is at 5.

Lucas: HOLY FUCK

Taeil: OHHH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.

Ten: how?? When??? What???!

Taeyong: last night. Shower. Against the wall. In the bed twice. And our usual against the door.

Lucas: how tf did u manage that??

Lucas: i thought you hated her

Taeyong: i never hated her. It was just the drama and shit

Taeyong: like at the party i just didn’t want a fight to break out. i didn’t want the cops called or anything

Taeyong: so like i kicked her out but it was just because i knew she would have thrown the first punch

Lucas: well you aren’t really wrong

Lucas: i don’t blame you for not wanting the cops to show up

Taeyong: i had under 21 friends there. I didn’t want them to get in trouble

Ten: how did you even manage to get her to fuck you???

Taeyong: she called me actually. She was drunk af but sobered up before she got here

Ten: i cannot believe

Ten: i haven’t even been able to get with her AT ALL lately

Johnny: wtf is going on

Taeil: oooooooffff this is….

Ten: the tea brews itself

Johnny: Taeyong what did you say

Taeyong: i fucked your girl. She came to me instead of coming to you

Yuta: dude this is…

Johnny: don’t go near her again

Johnny: i mean it

Taeyong: dude i’m not scared of you

Taeyong: yall arent even official

Johnny: i don’t care

Johnny: dont touch her

Yuta: johnny quit it

Yuta: you can’t hog her to yourself

Yuta: just like jae can’t hog quinn

Ten: just admit ur jealous and move on.

Johnny: im not jealous

Johnny: you just dont deserve her after the stunt you pulled at the party

Taeyong: clearly i do because shes been thinking about fucking me for a long time

Taeyong: maybe even while shes been fucking you.

(Johnny has left the chat)

Ten: fuck

Yuta: this is getting fucking ridiculous

Yuta: i mean she texted me like when she was with him i think

Yuta: like she didnt care that she was with him and was being cute with me

Lucas: she flirts with everyone

Lucas: do you think she does actually wanna be with him?

Taeyong: who cares

Taeyong: fact of the matter is shes up for grabs

Taeyong: and if I wanna go after her i will

Yuta: WHOA WHOA

Yuta: you mean try and date her?

Ten: taeyong thats not a good idea

Taeyong: i never said id date her

Taeyong: but if shit happens, shit happens

Taeyong: thats all im saying

–

It was strange waking up in bed next to Taeyong. We had never done that before especially since the last time we were together we had to leave the office quickly. He looked strangely innocent when he slept, his shaggy hair ruffled and sticking up in random places and lips slightly pouted. I watched his chest rise and fall with each soft breath for a moment while I tried to keep my head from spinning. This…might have been a bad idea. I was in my feelings for Johnny and I knew that I only hooked up with Taeyong as a sort of rebound/revenge plot. I didn’t want to tell him that but I was sure we were still platonic enough that it didn’t matter. Taeyong wouldn’t make things weird or messy. This would just be a one time thing…or a five time thing. We may have gotten a bit carried away. He was tentative in the shower, making sure that I was still sober enough to be okay. He washed me, helped me wash my hair, and let the heated water run over me to warm me up. And when he slid down to wash my legs his lips met between my thighs and I couldn’t help but give in to his tongue.

He was no Taeil but he knew enough to make me try and steady myself against the slippery tile and grip onto his hair tightly. It was relaxing to finally get off by being eaten out, to just sit back and let him do all the work. It was definitely something I missed. After the shower, we dried off and he put me into some of his pjs (which were tight as all hell on me) and we relaxed in his bed. I got some more water in me and slowly weaned off the rest of the alcohol. Somewhere in the middle of trying to sleep we got lost in each other’s lips which somehow lead to him keeping me against his bedroom wall and fucking me as deep as he could go. Mid morning came and we didn’t want to get up. So of course the next option was to 69 then fuck me into the mattress. Just when I thought I would finally be able to leave he wouldn’t stop kissing me as I got to his bedroom door and we had a proper deja vu moment of last semester.

By the time I actually got home it was late at night and I was sore as all hell. I left him covered in hickies, scratches, and bite marks- my typical calling card- and he left me wanting to sleep for days. I collapsed on my bed unmoving for hours on end and barely making it to class the next day. Johnny was there of course and I tried my best to avoid him like the plague. That was always the hardest part. When we were on our highs, being next to each other radiated chemistry and we would rather pass the time sexting than paying attention. When we were on our lows, everything was ice cold and I detested even being within his vicinity. He still wouldn’t open up to me or even let me tell him that it was okay to cry. He didn’t need to worry about that with me. Of course he wouldn’t listen and we were stuck in a frozen tundra that didn’t let us move one way or the other. I tried my best to instead focus on studying for once. My grades were alright but they could definitely be better and I didn’t want to have to waste more money repeating classes. I spent my nights hitting the books and hoping I could retain enough information to pass. I was holed up in my room as usual when I heard knocking on the front door and i wondered if maybe Quinn forgot their keys. It seemed a little early for them to come home from being with Jae. I set my textbook down onto my desk and padded towards the living room. When I opened the door I hated what I saw.

His eyes were bright red and he reeked of menthol and weed. He leaned against the door frame, a big grin on his face that happiness didn’t seem to be the cause of. “What are you doing here?” I whispered in disbelief.

“What am i doing here?” He licked his lips and chuckled. “What are you doing fucking Taeyong?”

My eyes went wide. “Did he…did he tell you?”

“He told everyone in our chat. 5 times, huh? That a record or something?”

I backed away from him hating how he was acting and being hurt that what I did was blasted over some group chat. I couldn’t believe Taeyong would do something like that. I had stated plenty of times who i had hooked up with but it was on my terms, with my permission, not like gossiping around a watering hole. “You need to leave.” I swallowed hard and didn’t look at him. My voice was too unsteady for that.

I heard the door snap shut and looked up to find him looming over me. “Not a chance. Not until I make you forget all about that stupid bastard.”

He grabbed onto my sweater and pulled me towards him, easily overpowering me to crash his lips against mine. I clawed at his coat, digging into the soft fabric as I tried forcing myself away. I slammed the side of my fist into his chest and pushed him back. “NO! You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to come back into my life whenever you decide to! I’m not something to have at your convenience and I sure as hell don’t need you to keep leading me on.”

“Leading you on? Where am I leading you too?” His hands still had a hold of my neck and shoulders which I could not shake.

I could feel the tears already trying to come forth but i grounded myself, dug deep within me to stop them. “Leading me to you. I always get led back to you.”

“You don’t want to get led back to me.” He laughed. “I’m fuckin’ useless!”

I grabbed at his hands, wanting them off me. “Stop that! I’m not your fucking therapy and my purpose is not to fix you.”

“I don’t want to be fixed! I want to be fucked!”

“And that’s another layer to your goddamn problem, Johnny! Life isn’t all about diving into sex to make yourself forget! You need to reevaluate what’s going on in your life before you put your hands on someone else’s.”

“I don’t want you to have Taeyong on you.” He kissed me, gentler this time. “Or Lucas.” Another kiss. “Or Taeil.” A small lick. “Or Yuta.” He sucked on my bottom lip for a second before kissing me again. “Or anyone else.”

“You cant have me all to yourself. That isn’t how this works. You don’t want me, you only want what you see on the surface. You don’t give a shit about what’s beneath and you definitely don’t want to see it.”

He released me from his grasp and scoffed. “The surface? I’ve let you dig inside my brain more than anyone else in my life. You’re stuck inside there now, you can’t move. You know how sick i’ve felt, how weak i am, how less of a man i am-”

“Save that bullshit, Johnny! It’s not true! I told you it was okay to cry! It doesn’t mean you’re less of a man! It just means you’re a normal human being. Men can cry. Men can show emotion and they should. I just wanted to help…to be there for you.”

“You’re wrong. I’ve always had to be the man. There wasn’t any room for me to cry!” He screamed. “You want to talk about not wanting what’s beneath the surface? You’re already there, Eri. You’ve seen everything I could possibly hate to show anyone.”

“And yet you’re coming to me just so you can be buried inside something for an hour or two. That’s what it’s actually like to feel useless and discarded. I know you don’t fucking care and you never will.”

“This is starting to get messy…it’s a clusterfuck and it keeps growing.”

“You just keep fueling the fire.” I said. “I’m not going back. I can’t. My heart can’t take it. I hate seeing you like this. I hate hearing you like this and I want to help. I really do. But i can only take so much before you start swallowing me whole.”

He grabbed me again, pressing me against the door and trapping me between it and his body. “This is how you help.” His breath was heavy against my neck, tickling the sensitive skin there. I shuddered and failed to squirm away from him. “I know you’re not going to fix me. I can do that on my own, eventually, but right here, right now this is what I want.”

“Well i don’t.” The tears fell and i slammed my fist back against the door, pissed entirely that it was happening again. I shouldn’t be crying over him anymore. “I don’t want to be what you push inside of. You don’t want to know what’s really going on with me. You’d run away from me as much as I want to run from you.”

“You think i’d be scared of what you’ve done? What you’ve been through? Its nothing, Eri.” He grabbed my chin and and jerked my head to the side so he could growl in my ear. “I want you. Raw. Dirty.”

“You want me black out drunk? You want me with a broken hand through drywall? You want me bleeding out in a tub with a knife in my hand? You want me laying on the floor unable to breathe and falling in and out of consciousness? You want me running away from the one good thing i’ve ever had in my life?” My voice trembled again. “You want me hiding who i really am from my family? You want me watching myself be the cause of people’s hurt? Because that’s what’s really raw and dirty. Or do you just want to fuck as always?”

He hoisted me onto his waist suddenly, crushing me now to the point where i could barely breathe. I wrapped my legs around his as he shoved his forehead against mine. “Give me it. Give me all of it, Eri.”

I tried not to kiss him, i really did, but my heart shoved me towards it. My tongue slid out to creep into his mouth which he warmly accepted. It was angry, heated, rushed, and broken- like the entirety of our relationship. I was clutching onto him desperately as if I was trying to shock my system back into loathing him. It didn’t matter if I made drunken mistakes or if he made drugged out ones, every time, we somehow found a way back to each other as if we were tied with a string of fate. “Why?” I whispered when I finally caught my breath. “Why don’t you talk to me? For weeks at a time…it hurts…”

“Because i hate the way I feel about you.” He panted.

I licked my lips and hovered them over his. “How do you feel about me?”

He shook his head. “I…don’t worry about it. I’m faded as fuck right now. It won’t matter what I say.”

“Clearly it fucking does.”

“It’s only gonna get more fucked up between us.”

“It already is fucked up! Were fucked up! This whole shit is fucked up! We were supposed to hook up at the summer party and that’s it!!”

“Yeah and here you are fucking Taeyong and Yuta and whoever else you’d let inside you.”

I slapped him. The first time i’d ever wanted to hit him at all. I would’ve never laid a hand on him especially after all he had been through- i never wanted to be that person. Ever. But he crossed a fucking line and that small dangerous part of my brain was a ticking time bomb. He dropped me then and I fell right on my ass. I scrambled to get up as he stood there motionless.

“Dont…dont ever do that.” He whispered harshly.

“I didn’t want to! But don’t you ever come for who I sleep with! You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to be a hypocrite because you’re fucking jealous! What are you even jealous for? I’m not your girlfriend!”

“AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!”

I felt a stab of pain through my chest that hurt worse than anything I had ever felt before. Was this…was this what Jungwoo felt? Had karma finally come to get me and pay me back for what I did to him all those years ago? It felt like I couldn’t breathe but I could definitely feel the tears flowing down my cheeks like a river. His eyes went wide and he took a step towards me. I took one back before sprinting to my room. I slammed the door shut, pressing myself against it and sliding to the floor.

He pounded his fists against it, begging me to open it. I was afraid he was going to break through the wood with how hard he was rattling the door. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my thighs, staining my pajamas pants with tears.

“I-im sorry, ok?”

No you’re not.

“I didn’t mean for it to be like this.”

Well it is now, so fuck you.

“I don’t know what I really want, Eri.”

I guess…i don’t really know either. Should you even be my boyfriend at this point? What would I do once I had you? Would my fear of love go away? Or would you make it worse?

“I like when we spend time together. You’re cool as fuck but we…we cant be like that. You know that right? I don’t get with people and stay with them. We can only fuck…”

I hate you. Go away. Leave me alone.

“I guess i’m broken or whatever you want to call it but i’m not a charity case. I don’t want you to pity me or feel like you have to take care of me. Like you said, it’s not your job. But for right now…this is how I handle stuff, just like how you handle stuff your way, you know?”

By being a drunk partied out mess, i know. Hungry for attention, starving for someone to care for them, and completely barren of love but wanting to fill that void somehow.

“I’m not fine. I haven’t been fine for a long time. My anxiety never used to be this bad. I never even used to have night terrors or panic attacks. It just got worse after…after the first time i got…you know, what I told you about before. Then college happened and it was so much pressure and I wanted to make my mom proud and happy and take care of her because my dad never did. You know even when i felt so fucking empty around Rixi, i didn’t sleep for 2 whole days because I was studying my ass off for midterms just to keep my straight A’s?” He let out a soft chuckle. “I have a 4.0, hookup with dozens of girls, work three jobs, go to the gym, and try and do my art. When i say that i run on energy drinks and coffee i’m not kidding.”

That’s adding to your anxiety, stupid. And so is the weed. And your inability to FUCKING communicate. Why do you have to be such a stupid dumb….MAN all the time?!

“I know that doesn’t matter to you-”

It does because I know you’re hardworking and care about what you do. You’re a passionate soul and i love that about you. You’re so dedicated.

“But i dont know…i guess I wanted to tell you anyway. I’m not making excuses. I know what I do is my own damn fault but i just wanted you to know.”

I shifted slightly and reached up for the door handle, scooting away to pull it open slightly. I peeked my head through the gap and he looked at me, eyes a bit puffy as if he had been crying too. He wiped his nose and made it seem like he was put together in his typical Johnny fashion. I still didn’t say anything but he crept his hand closer to me and extended his pinky. I looked at it for a few seconds before locking mine around it. He was quiet for a bit, the tension remaining thick and heavy. The quietness was only interrupted by a few sniffles from the both of us. I wiped away at my tears, wanting to remind myself that this was proof. This was what always happened. Either i ended up drunk or ended up crying when it came to him. Or both for that matter.

I truly felt like i should continue to make myself suffer with him. One look of those soft brown eyes and honey-sweet lips would draw me in and his soothing voice would whisper caring thoughts and expressions. I saw the blushes he had when he talked to me, the way he seemed embarrassed or nervous, but there were always underlying signs that proved he didn’t like me. Most blatantly when he said-no, yelled- that i would never be his girlfriend. Logic told me to run. When had i ever put a man before me or anyone for that matter? Masochism told me that I enjoyed the pain of being rejected over and over again and that it was a game. Lust told me that i loved when he got jealous and growled in my ear. I wanted him to tell me that I was his as he fucked me so deep and hard that I couldn’t move. Greed told me that I wanted him all to myself. I wanted all the attention, all the love, all of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And rationality? That bitch was nowhere to be found.

“What saved you…when you tried to um…kill yourself?”

My head snapped up at the question. It hadn’t been posed to me since I met Quinn three years ago. It was something that I blocked from my brain and never reopened. But this was a test, to see if he could really handle what was fucking wrong with me. I squeezed his pinky tighter and finally croaked. “Daniella. She’s uh…she’s my little sister. I traumatized a 10 year old by bleeding out in a bathtub and she called the police and my mom. She tried to stop the bleeding. She cried but she kept pushing through. She was….so mature in that moment. More than I had ever been. She wanted to be there when they admitted me. My mom didn’t believe what was going on- more so in a sense that she didn’t want to believe that her kid was sick. Just like she didn’t want to believe I was gay at first. Eventually, she saw past it. She saw how much I needed her and how much we didn’t want to lose each other. But yeah…that was…it was Dani.”

“You know, her Quinceanera is in a week and I can’t believe she’s already 15. It’s weird how time flies…how I can’t exactly remember it all.” I continued.

“Are you going? To the party i mean.” He asked.

I nodded. “I have to. I’m like in the…so it’s basically almost like a bridal party. It’s real weird. But they pair us up and we walk down an aisle and Dani will come out with her big poofy dress and everyone will look at her and sing ’Las Mañanitas’ blah blah blah. It’s a precursor wedding and weird tradition I hated. So i never had one. And now, mom gets to put all her spite of her not having one and me not having one into an over the top expensive party for Dani, but you know…don’t help me with my student loans or anything.”

“Oh…sounds like a…journey.” I let out a small laugh and he crept closer towards the gap. I opened the door a little bit more. “It was my mom for me.”

“What?” I whispered.

“I was ready to jump off my school building after I got with her. I would see her everywhere on my social media and around town. I had to hide everything about how she made me feel and I felt like I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I sat on the ledge for a long time, thinking about it and staring at the ground. Just as I decided I was going to jump, I got a text from my mom. It said ‘hi honey, hope you have a great day at school! I love you a lot.’” He rubbed at his eyes and looked away from me. “I still have it saved on my phone- transferred over each time I got a different one. I look at it sometimes when i feel like utter shit. Then I call her.” He sighed deeply and I pulled him closer to me, the door falling open wider. “Have I ever told you thank you?”

“W-what?” I asked, stunned.

“Thank you. For being there for me. When shit hit the fan basically. You and Jae pretty much helped me through a lot. Is that like…a part of working through this? Admitting when you’ve been helped?”

I nodded. “It’s a start…”

He got even closer and kissed me, our pinkies tightening and lips slow and steady. My will was wavering and I was kicking myself again. It never failed. I pulled away and turned my head away from his. He sighed and kissed my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t make up for a lot of things, Johnny.”

“I know, princess. I know.”

“No, you don’t get to say that word to me anymore. That part is done. It’s only for people who know how to communicate.”

“Ok…” he said simply.

I let go of his hand and moved away from the door. He came through fully, sitting beside me now and set his arm around my waist. He kissed my temple then rested his chin on my shoulder. We stood quiet for a moment, trying to process everything. Nothing had gotten better at all. Everything was more confusing and more painful. I didn’t feel good and I didn’t want him here but at the same time I did. I looked over at his sad eyes, knowing he was truly sorry but still cementing the fact that I would never be his. Hurting was all I was good for and I accepted the karmic punishment.

I grabbed onto his shoulders and his eyes drew themselves to me. I laid nothing but whispers against his lips drawing him in to press himself against me and steal my breath away in a kiss. Gradually, our clothes began disappearing until we were naked in my bed, hands between each others thighs, stroking and thrusting until we were dirty with each other’s release. He didn’t let me go instead opting to grab my hips and keep me flush against me. “I want me on you. Not any of those assholes.”

“I’m not yours…”

“Tonight you are.” He dug his blunt nails into my hips and sunk his teeth into the base of my neck. It hurt with how hard he was biting down but I knew what he was doing; marking me so that whoever i was with next could see the deep bruise he was trying to leave behind. I clawed at his shoulders, whimpering pathetically and about to beg him to stop but he pulled away, pressing softer kisses to the deep marks instead. I shoved his head away seeing the playful smirk he had on his face.

“Ass…”

“You want a bite mark on your ass too?” he asked coyly.

I rolled my eyes and commanded him to get a towel to clean up the mess he made on my stomach. He gave me another kiss before scooting off the bed and heading towards my door. For a moment I thought I imagined it and had to blink twice but i saw him licking his fingers- the same ones that were inside me just a minute ago. He had never done that. Usually he’d wipe them on my sheets or something. I laid back and closed my eyes, tossing away any ideas of what that meant. I felt him on the bed again, gently wiping away his cum off my skin before laying himself between my thighs, his head on my chest. That also surprised me and i wished I knew what the fuck was going on in his head. Was it from all the weed? I didn’t really know how much he smoked before he got here. It could’ve been what helped set off his emotions and express his jealousy about Taeyong.

I wanted to pry at his stupid decisions and actions some more but I was slowly running out of energy to deal with arguing, anxiety, and my mood swings in such a short amount of time. I decided to lay in my self hatred with Johnny on top of me, our breaths flowing together into an easier rhythm. I closed my eyes and set my hand on his head. “Pet my hair.” He grumbled.

“You think that a half fuck is going to solve this?” I said, ignoring his request.

“No. We’re doing what we do best, hurting each other.”

“But why does it have to be like this?”

“Because it’s just who we are, Eri. It’s what we do. It’s how we function together. You want to call it off?”

“Call what off?”

“Being fuck buddies.” Yes was what I should have said. Instead, I shook my head and kept my eyes away from him. “Good…Because I don’t want to stop fucking you.”

“I don’t either…” I said softly. I ran my fingers through his hair now, pushing it back and feeling his sides that were grown out. "Remember when you asked me to feel alive?”

He nodded.

“Do that for me. Maybe me feel like I don’t fucking hate you for what you’ve done. Like i don’t want you more than I need to.”

He stilled against me and didn’t say anything. I could feel him looking at me and when I finally had the courage to meet his eyes I saw that he seemed to be hurt by my confession. Eventually, he mumbled a response. “I don’t want you to hate me.”

"Mostly i hate myself.” I hate myself for loving you.

“Dont, baby…” He turned my face towards his to continue our kiss. “You don’t need to hate yourself.”

“Just shut up, Johnny. Fuck me already.”

“Fine.” He growled and gave quick bites over my breast making me arch against him. I hissed slowly, gripping onto his shoulders and digging my nails into his skin. He morphed his bites into kisses, working to gather my nipple in his mouth to suck slowly but hungrily. Eventually, his kisses got even lower as he discarded my breasts in favor of moving down to the softness of my stomach. A little nibble beneath my rib cage jerked my body towards his mouth, edging my hips into eager swivels. I parted my lips to let out a sweet sigh and a small plead for him to keep going. His tongue dipped into my belly button, making me squirm against the wet heat. I inched my hands back to his hair to return him to my lips and stop his teasing but he had other plans. His hands suddenly came crashing down on my wrists, pinning them to the bed and practically crushing them. I winced at the pain and asked him to ease up but he only snapped at me.

“Shut up and don’t touch me, got it?”

“W-what are you doing?” I asked, nervously.

“Shut. Up.”

I squeezed my eyes shut tight, swallowing hard and full of worry more than sensuality. I tried taking deep breaths but I felt like I was getting more nervous. Johnny was quiet as ever but I could feel his breath tickling against my sensitivity. I licked the dryness from my lips and just as I was about to try and pull away from his hands I felt it. It was small and gentle, just the tip of his tongue working over my clit. My entire body tensed and I remained frozen in place. I feared scaring him, or worse, triggering him. We retreated into minutes of silence that made my heart race with worry. “J-Johnny? A-are you-?”

There were butterfly kisses to my clit before his tongue reached out once again. It covered the entirety of my lower lips, pressing a slick heat over me and gathering the cum left behind from his fingering to trail it back to my clit. He trapped the bit of nerves between his lips, suckling lightly. I knew he was being cautious due to nervousness and unease but it was also amazingly tender and sweet. I dug my teeth into my bottom lip and let out a moan hoping that he would take it as praise and a sign to continue. There was another long pause and my fingers curled in anticipation for more but there was nothing. I opened my eyes and looked down at him.

He was stationary, his eyes glancing over my center and lips trembling. The grip on my wrists got tighter, too tight for even my own liking. “Johnny…you need to let me go.” I said softly.

“No. I-i cant…”

“You can stop now, it’s ok but you’re hurting me. Come up here. Come kiss me, baby.” He looked defeated but saw the pain in my face and finally let my wrists go. I didn’t immediately shake out the numbing feeling and instead waited for him to crawl back up my torso. I held onto him as tight as I could, covering his lips, cheeks, neck in excited pecks. He did it. With me. It wasn’t complete or full or satisfying by any means but it meant so much. “You did so good, baby boy. So, so good.” I cooed.

He hid in my neck and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head quickly. “Don’t be. It was good. A great start, ok?”

“I wanted to try…a little at least so you don’t feel like i did when we fucked in the bathroom at the party. You shouldn’t want to feel alive with me because you’re numb. I don’t want that at all.”

“I just wanna feel good is all…” I held onto him tighter. “I don’t want to feel like i’m going to be thrown away.”

“I-i wont…” He swiftly slipped out of the bed and returned with a condom on. He whispered as he pulled my legs around him, pressing himself at my entrance. “I wont…”

“But you can’t promise that.” I swallowed hard and felt him sink into me inch by inch. The rest of my thoughts were voided by the methodical pace of him stretching me open. He ignored what I had said and instead focused on kissing everywhere he could reach as he thrusted slowly. My hands traced the length of his spine, resting in the center of his back and keeping him close. Inside my head I pleaded for him to not go slow, to not be intimate and stir up more dreadful feelings inside the pit of my stomach. Please just fuck me so I can be reminded of how shitty you are. Don’t remind me of how cute and caring you can be. I’m begging you Johnny.

I knew he couldn’t hear me so of course he didn’t stop rolling his hips to have his cock hit every space within me. He was panting softly, gentle moans mixing in every once in awhile. They sounded so precious and I couldn’t help but bury myself in his lips again. His hand pulled mine away from his back just so our fingers could intertwine. Nonono, stop that. For the love of god don’t do this to me.

He squeezed my hand tight and I felt my tears resurface. This is what scared me the most. Not him leaving or him ignoring me or throwing me away. This Johnny, the human, sentimental, emotional man that could have me fall into his arms (and bed) at the snap of his fingers. I was helpless against him and I just craved more and more torture. He kissed away my tears and nudged our foreheads together. “Hey…it’s okay.” He breathed.

It is not okay. It will never be ok. But he took care of me, stilling every so often to regain his composure as i could feel him throbbing and ready for another release. Worst of all was that I wanted him too. I wanted him to feel good, another hurtful self sacrifice because I cared so much about him. I gave him a soft plea to cum for me, which he took instantly. His free hand slipped between us, his thumb pressing small acts of pleasure into my clit as his other hand never left mine. He only squeezed my fingers tighter while my walls squeezed him the same way. Just at the very end his hips made quicker snaps, hitting the back of my thighs and making my back arch from the mattress. And in one fell breath i felt my stomach heat up and the most comforting sensation flowing within me.

My cheeks flushed as I had never felt anything like it before and wondered what the hell did he do differently. Maybe it was because i was so damn love drunk that it made everything seem better when i was with him. It wasn’t until he jerked out of me so harshly that I snapped my thighs shut. “O-ow! Johnny, what the-”

“The condom broke.” He trembled.

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t believe what I had heard.

“Eri. The fucking condom broke.”

I looked down and could see his cum flowing out of me and staining the bed sheets, while the rubber had a slight tear across the tip. Our eyes met and panic slammed into me at full speed. “O-oh my fucking god. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.”

“You’re on birth control right?” His voice was an octave or two higher.

“Well no shit! But it doesn’t magically mean it’s 100% full proof! People still get pregnant while on birth control.”

“I’M FULLY AWARE OF THAT ERI.”

“DON’T YELL AT ME.”

“I’M SORRY I JUST…” I noticed him staring at me which made me more uncomfortable.

“What? What else is wrong?” He shrugged but continued to stare. “Johnny. What is it?!”

“Nothing! It’s just…i mean-”

“Oh, you asshole!!” I flung my pillow straight at his face. “I’m literally fucking panicking and you think cumming inside me is hot!!”

“I’M SORRY!!! I’ve never done it before and it just…looks good, ok?!”

“You are the absolute worse and I CANNOT stand you!” I covered my face that was getting heated up by the second. How could he think about that while I was panicking? How could I think it felt good and perfect when i absolutely loathed cum (and was panicking)? We truly were fucking stupid.

“Hey, we’ll be ok. I know we will.” He said softly, reaching for my hand which i pulled away.

“Easy for you to say. You have the easy way out in case that happens.” I grumbled.

He kissed my forehead and laid beside me. “No I don’t, because I wouldn’t leave.”

I turned away from him, shoving my face into the mattress as I felt his cum sticky between my thighs. “Yeah right…”

“I’m serious….i’m not gonna be like my dad.”

“Alright well, we’re gonna stop talking about this. I’m gonna shower and you can go home so I can die in peace.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. You’re not gonna die. It’s just cum.”

“I’m gay! All I am is dramatic!” I huffed as I felt all flustered now and wanted to get away from him. I stood up and cringed at the feeling of it sliding down my leg now. I awkwardly shuffled to pick up my already cum covered towel just to keep me decent enough to get to the bathroom.

“Can you stop saying that? Because i’m like…not a girl.”

I looked back at him. “Well no fucking shit, Johnny. It’s just a blanket term because you wouldn’t understand everything I identify as. Just roll with it. I don’t have time to explain.”

I grabbed my phone and went to the bathroom, locking the door tight. I tossed off my towel and turned on the water, sitting in the tub under the spray so i could suffer in silence. Eventually i ended up plugging the drain so i could sit in hot water for a bit and try and calm my nerves. I tried calling Quinn but didn’t get an answer, even texted them and still got nothing. They were still probably up Jaehyun’s ass or Taeil or someone else. I don’t know. I dialed again and waited patiently.

“Hello?”

“Doyoung, I need you please.”

“Be right there.”

He hung up as that was all he needed to know that something was wrong. I washed up, making sure to get as much of the cum out of me as possible, then rinsed and dried off. As i opened the bathroom door, Johnny was standing in the doorway, hand raised as he was going to knock. I glared at the lit blunt between his lips.

“’M leavin’.”

“Good. Bye. I have someone else coming over.”

He scoffed. “Wow. Okay. Fuck you too.” He turned away from me and headed towards my front door slamming it harshly behind him.

He made me so fucking irritated with his hot and cold bullshit. I trudged to my room and tossed my towel in the hamper, picking up my discarded pajamas and putting them back on. Around 15 or so minutes later Doyoung was in my room with an absolute cringey look on his face. “Look, i’m sorry but i needed someone to tell. You and Quinn are my closest friends and they’re not here. Please Doyoung…i know it’s gross.”

“You liked it…” he whispered.

“Please don’t remind me. I hate myself completely.”

“Why do you keep doing this, Eri? You are literally worth more than that.”

“I don’t know! I wish I knew. I wish I could just leave him but I can’t. Every time I’m mad, he shows me that side of him that I absolutely love.”

“That’s emotional manipulation.”

“It is not!” I protested. “Well…uh…maybe it is? But I don’t think he would be doing it intentionally? Why would he? He can get with anyone. He has gotten with a lot of people. I don’t think I would be any different. After all he blatantly said i’d never be his girlfriend.”

“And how did you feel about that?”

“I cried. Instantly. It hurt so fucking bad.”

“So we’ve come to the conclusion that a) he’s a fuckboy, b) he doesn’t want to be with you, c) he’s emotionally manipulative, and d) he couldn’t care less about what transpired tonight.” Doyoung gave me a shady look which made me shrink away like a scolded puppy.

“Well technically he said he would be there for me and then I kicked him out so…”

“And now you’re sticking up for him?”

“I’m not! I’m just stating facts. Doyoung, i know you’re totally and completely right. But i just…it feels weird. It feels different somehow.”

“I’m kind of sick of giving you advice and you ignoring it. It makes it seem like you don’t even care what I say.”

“No i do!” I grabbed onto his arm, sadly. “I do! i swear! I’m just a fucking idiot. I like to fuck up everything and keep myself down.”

“Why can’t you see that there are better people for you? Even ones that are right in front of you?”

I rested my head on his shoulder and set my hand in his, squeezing tight. “Doyoung, how can I…how can I stop when i love him?”

“It’s not easy to stop loving someone but…no offense- well a little offense because this is going to be hard to hear- you stopped loving Jungwoo because he loved you too much, you can stop loving Johnny because you love him too much too. You can run away and leave without giving him any explanation.”

I pulled away from Doyoung completely.

“I’m sorry for saying that and hurting you, but maybe it’s the kind of shit you need to snap out of it.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “And if you’re so worried about what might happen I can go to the pharmacy for you.”

“I-i just need time to think…” i said quietly.

“Well, you’ve got three days until it’s ineffective-or less effective or whatever. You can let me know ok?”

I nodded and felt him crush me to his chest. I held onto him for a long time, happy to feel a friends pure love rather than the tainted mess from my heart.

–

Johnny’s POV

“FUCKING SHIT!” I threw the beer bottle I just finished against my wall, watching it shatter into pieces. What the actual fuck just happened between Eri and I? Tonight was fucked up- no, beyond fucked up to the point where I just ended up more confused and angry then I was before. I paced back and forth across my room while thoughts zoomed in my brain. I tried to break everything down and figure out what i could so I could attempt to get my mind straight.

I was pissed off at Taeyong. He was such a smug little fuck about hooking up with Eri, blasting it all over the chat. And why were they counting how many times they hooked up with her like it was some sort of game? I didn’t want him anywhere near Eri. She was mi-. I stopped pacing for a moment. She wasn’t mine. She is not yours Johnny. She is NOT yours.

My pacing resumed. He didn’t deserve to touch her. And neither did those other assholes. I wanted her to myself. She’s mi-. As i grew close to the door i slammed my head against it, not too hard but enough to try and get it through my skull that Eri was not mine.

I had told her she would never be my girlfriend because I was angry. I knew it hurt her the second it came out of my mouth and I wished I could’ve taken it back. Our conversation was so back and forth she probably thought I was crazy. One minute I was mad, the other I wanted to be with her, comfort her, be inside her and make her feel good. I didn’t want her to feel like shit because of me but I was failing horribly.

What even possessed me to touch her like that? So slow and gentle? It felt like I was having an out of body experience and I watched who I wanted to be for her come out and take over. It was what I wanted to give her for the longest time. Something more stable to hold onto rather than whatever the fuck I was now. But that didn’t go over so well for my feelings. I was faded and more emotional than ever, a bad combination. I wanted to tell her what I felt for her but i don’t even think i’m too sure myself. Feelings were there but what kind? Did I have a crush? I liked her? Wanted to keep being fuck buddies? Did I love her? My body shuddered at the thought. I had never been in love before so how could I know?

I’ve always wanted to be in love and have someone to care about. I knew familiar love and friendship love but not romantic love. I wanted to take my girlfriend to the beach, to Korea, to visit countries across the globe. Take pictures of us for vacation scrapbooks and eat everything we could ever dream of. Go hiking with her and hold her hand so she wouldn’t trip on a branch and hurt herself. Laugh when we thought of a memory we had together or hold her as she cried. But i was also scared shitless of all of that. Could I even be that good of a person to her? I didn’t want to end up being a carbon copy of my dad. Why would I want to be the cause of my love’s suffering and leave them behind with a kid I didn’t care about?

Fuck.

The stupid condom.

I tossed myself onto my bed and groaned. I was scared of that too. I’m only 23 and work at a fucking coffee shop, what the hell was I gonna do with a kid? I’m sure we were gonna be okay but…it still made me a little queasy. Except for the fact that I thought cumming inside her was fucking hot. I was a complete jackass for thinking about it at a time like that but I couldn’t help it. Like me: worried to all hell and back about the condom breaking, also me: holy hell I want to do it again. I facepalmed myself and let out another frustrated groan. I was ready to just throw myself out a window rather than face my embarrassment and mistakes. Now Taeyong was probably going to be up her ass and I swear to god if he got with her I was personally going to go to his apartment and kick his ass.

I sat up and started taking off my clothes, figuring I could just sleep all this shit away and ignore it. I flung everything to a corner of my room and reached over to shut off my desk lamp. I noticed my little keychain that I had got at the bookstore resting on the desk. I picked it up and shut off the light before snuggling deep under the blankets. I kept the keychain close to me thinking of nothing but Eri as I went to sleep.

A week had passed since that weird half fight/half fuck between us and I was starting to get a taste of my own medicine. I hated not hearing from her and I found myself constantly checking my phone to see if by chance I missed anything. She hadn’t even posted on any of her social media that I followed her on. Whenever I would hang out with the guys at lunch none of them talked about her, not even Lucas. I had no idea what was going on. I tried to keep myself busy with school work but found myself thinking of her more than I needed too. Sometimes those thoughts implanted little sinister buds of sinfully delicious fantasies and in the midst of being hurt and confused about where we stood I was jacking off to thoughts of her more than I needed too. It was multiple times a day, whenever I was at home and it was starting to get on my nerves. I shouldn’t have been thinking about her like that when I was the cause of most of this mess but it couldn’t be helped. I was a stupid slut and would rather focus on that then the pain I caused her. I was in the middle of rutting against my hand and mattress only a few seconds away from cumming when my phone beside my pillow lit up. The brightness in the darkness of my room distracted me and I look at the screen, ready to ignore the notification until I saw who it was from. I wiped my hand on my sheets and snatched my phone up, unlocking it and going to the message.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: hey

I typed in my simple response quickly.

Hey

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over

Fuck…did she actually want to hook up?

What for babe?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: we need to talk.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: asap

Talk about what?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over and i’ll tell u dumbass

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: I mean it

Give me like 15 mins. Im busy

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: fine but dont keep me waiting.

I bit my lip and set my phone aside. It made me nervous to think about what she wanted to talk with me about. A small part of me was hoping that I could still get laid and have amazing makeup sex. But first…

–

Eri’s POV

I hated that I had to do this. With every fiber in my entire being. It was definitely up there with one of the worst decisions I would have to make. I didn’t want to talk to him or even make him think that I had forgiven him. I had purposefully ignored him like he had done to me so many times before. Even when he sent me the occasional text I left him on read. It felt good to have that power but I had to cut my reign of terror short when I realized that my problem needed a solution and fast. Time was running out and I exhausted all my resources. I knew I was going to regret this but it had to be done. My stomach was in knots as I waited for him. 15 minutes was a lie, it was over a half hour before he showed up at my place. His hair was damp and he smelled of fresh cologne and soap. I stared at him quizzically when I opened the door. He smiled at me, looking like he was happy to see me while I was mortified to see him. He wasn’t wearing anything fancy either. Just a white crew neck and some skinny jeans and winter coat but he still looked so damn good. Stupid fucker.

“Sooo…” he started, chewing on his bottom lip a little bit. I yanked him into my apartment and dragged him towards my room, slamming the door behind us. “Oh shit, ok.” He grabbed at his shirt, about to take it off when I stopped him.

“No! None of that!” I swatted at his hands. “That’s not what I called you over here for.”

“Oh…” he said, dejected.

I rolled my eyes. “Look, i don’t have any other choice. You were the last person on my list, so don’t like flatter yourself.”

“What is going on? You’re making me suspicious.”

I sighed. “Will you be my boyfriend?” Oh jesus christ no, not what I meant!!

“Excuse me WHAT?!” He screamed.

“AHHH FUCK, I MEANT PRETEND. PREEEETENND. PRETEND TO BE MY BOYFRIEND!!” I tried to correct myself.

“AGAIN, WHAT, AND I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, THE FUCK?!”

“Ugh! Okay okay, back peddling.” I took a deep breath trying not to fuck this up even more than I already had. “Just hear me out ok?”

“You better start talking asap, bro!”

“I need someone to come with me to my sister’s Quinceanera this weekend. I have literally asked every single one of my guy friends and they’re all "conveniently” busy. I seriously need help.“

"Why can’t you take Quinn or something?!”

I sighed. “Johnny, if I show up with a girl as my date my grandparents would disown me and it would make a huge scene at the party and I can’t take that away from Dani. My family has this thing where they obsess over asking me if I have a boyfriend or not. I’m the oldest cousin so according to them I should be married and pregnant by now. My mom tries her best to keep them at bay but if I just show up with someone they will at least be civil for this party. Please. I don’t have anyone else. I wouldn’t be asking you this if it wasn’t a huge deal for me.”

“Well that sounds like a personal problem. Sucks to suck.”

I was shocked that that was actually his response. It was a good effort I guess but I was stuck doing this alone. I hoped to all hell nothing would happen that would ruin this for my little sister. It was completely stupid that my family judged me based on who I loved or wanted to be with, that every question about my life had to revolve around me having a man. It always started with a blanket question, one that seemed innocent enough, but then veered into “when will you get a boyfriend?” territory. Not only that but I still had to be on the down low whenever I was with them. Dani knew and so did my mom who was still working to be supportive but that was it. I knew I couldn’t tell other people in my family. If I went alone I could just suck it up and be miserable the whole time which at this point looked to be my only option. “Sorry to bother you…” I said as i sat down at my desk. I lowered my head onto the top and tried to figure out a way to smooth things over with my family for one night.

“Eri…is this really that serious?”

I raised my head up and looked at him. “Yes. I just want things to go right with this, for her sake. I’m literally the black sheep of the family. I’m darker than everyone, my hair is curlier, i’m queer, i play in a heavy metal band, i’m not ultra feminine, and i’m as far away from traditional as possible.” I tried again to convince him. It was turning out to be more pathetic than I hoped for. “I will promise, like absolutely promise, to be nice and civil with you if you do this for me. Please Johnny?”

“What do I get in return?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Whatever you want. I’m too desperate to fight you on this.”

“Anything I want? You’re serious?” He asked. I could almost see the deviousness going on in his head and instantly regretted it. But I swallowed my pride.

“Anything.”

“Ok. I’ll think about what I want and let you know. I gotta dress up or something?”

“So you’ll do it?” I practically jumped out of my chair.

“Yeah, i’ll do it.”

“Fuck, you stupid bastard! You’re the best!” I threw myself on him, wrapping my arms around his neck in a tight hug. “It’s tomorrow night. We have to drive two hours to get to where I live. It won’t end until late so we can get a motel if we’re too tired to drive back.”

“A motel, huh?”

“Don’t even start, please.” I went to pull away but he set his hand on the small of my back, keeping me close.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” He lowered his head towards mine, getting dangerously close to my lips. I swallowed hard.

“W-well…wear something nice and don’t be an asshole. Um…pretend like I’m the greatest thing to ever grace your life? Hold my hand or something…or hold me in general. Follow all my lies and try to remember them. Be prepared to be grilled by every woman in my family and subject to a bunch of sexist and misogynistic comments from my stupid uncles. They’ll be some kids there running around and loud ass music. Um…you may have to dance with me.”

“Oof…I’m not a great dancer.”

“It’s fine, i don’t dance much either. Oh and don’t get drunk. Oh! And don’t let me get drunk. I think that’s the gist of it. I may think of other stuff on the way there. Is that all ok?”

He cupped my face in his hand while the other held mine. He lowered himself to my lips and kissed me gently, barely teasing my tongue with his own and making my heart feel like it was about to burst. When he pulled away my lips kept following him not wanting to let go. He chuckled softly and looked directly at me. “Mi amor, siento que no puedo vivir sin ti.”

I shoved him away. “BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

He cackled loudly, clutching at his stomach. “Is that “boyfriend” enough for you?”

“Where the hell did you pull that from?!”

“You said it’s a Quinceanera right? I figured I could put my 6 years of Spanish class to good use. How’d I do?” He was still laughing up a storm while I was ready to call off the whole thing. I couldn’t believe he would be able to possibly understand my stupid family.

“How much do you know?” I asked.

“Enough. I’ll mess up every now and again but I think i could pull off a conversation if I needed to.”

“Christ. Ok…If they say something to you just pretend you don’t know anything. I know they’re gonna talk shit and then you can come back and tell me. That’s all we’re gonna do, ok? Ok. I’m gonna throw up.”

“Why? I won’t mess this up, okay? I know she’s important to you. We’ll be civil remember?”

I looked up at him and nodded. “Thank you, Johnny. Seriously.”

He shrugged and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “It’s cool. So what time is my hot date picking me up?”

“Probably around 4, i’m sure I’ll need to help set up and stuff. And help with makeup. We can get dressed at the motel because I do not want to walk in heels in the snow and i also don’t want to mess up my dress. Where I live my mom said that the snow is more melted and they have clearer sidewalks so I should be good there.”

“Alright, sounds good…so…what’s our plan for tonight?”

I raised my brow, confused. “What do you mean?”

“I came all the way here and I figured we might…We could practice for being a couple tomorrow.”

“You’re going to give me a bunch of hickies and I can’t have that.”

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black. All you do is bite and scratch like a little chihuahua.” He laughed.

I stomped my foot down and huffed. “I am not a little chihuahua!”

“How about I make them where everyone can’t see? Then we won’t have any problems, hmm?”

I crossed my arms and pursed my lips together, hating how devilishly convincing he could be. He was a natural born flirt and it made me want to punch him. I nibbled my bottom lip contemplating if I should really give him the satisfaction. He pulled his coat off and yanked his shirt over his head, showing me his perfectly toned chest and how low slung his jeans were. Asshole. I grabbed onto the waistband of his jeans and pulled him close so we could crash our lips together. He pushed me back onto the bed and crawled on top of me, shoving his tongue past my teeth and coaxing me to moan in his mouth. I grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him down so I could roll on top of him. “What’s the real reason you were late?” I asked as I dug my nails into his stomach.

“Jacking off.” He grabbed at my tshirt and tried pulled it up but I shoved his hands away and pinned his wrists down.

“I knew it, pig.”

“You act like you don’t do it. How many times have you showed me what you like doing when you’re alone, hmm? When we facetime and I call you late at night?” He teased.

“Shut up, Johnny. You’re so fucking annoying.” I dove my head down to bite at his chest, leaving harsh kisses in my wake. He tried moving his hands but i kept him pinned, liking the fact that he was the one squirming for once. I moved just a bit lower to land a few bites before licking through the center of his chest and up his throat. His entire body practically caved in on itself with how hard he shuddered.

“Fu-fuck…” He licked his lips and tossed his head back, moaning deeply. I blushed as I watched, feeling myself become victim to how good he looked. I resisted the urge to suck on his neck and went back to his chest, taking his nipple into my mouth. I knew this would truly make him squirm but i didn’t expect how hard his hips would buck. I moved my head away from him to over hover his face.

“You’re not being a very good boy are you?”

He opened one eye to glare at me. “When am I ever?”

“I think I should stop. I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Oh don’t you play that game with me, Eri! That’s not fair!”

I moved away from him completely and made my way over to open my bedroom door. “Out.”

He sad up with an incredulous look on his face. “You’re kidding?!”

“You’re being bad so you get nothing. C'mon now.”

“I’ll be good then! Whatever the fuck that means!”

I shook my head. “I’ll pick you up at 4, ok?”

“Fuckin’ hell!” He got up, his jeans visibly tighter and pulled his shirt back over his head. He grabbed his coat and made his way out of my room with the biggest pout on his face. Just as he had stepped out of the door frame he turned back to me. “Can I ask you something?” He propped his forearm above his head on the frame and looked down at me.

“What?”

“Besides us freaking out…did you…did you like it when I came inside you?

My entire face felt like it was on fire and took a step back as if that would somehow prevent him from seeing my embarrassment. "I-i-i-i have n-noooo idea what you’re t-talking about!” I stuttered.

“I mean, did you like the way it felt inside you? Like how hot or how deep it was?”

“Please stop talking!” My voice was now a squeaky whisper.

Johnny smirked and ran his tongue over his teeth. “I guess that answers my question, doesn’t it? See ya tomorrow, Eri. And don’t forget, you owe me one.” He winked at me and headed towards my front door, leaving me more flustered than ever.

–

I spent the whole two hour ride telling him about which one of my aunts would grill him the most and which cousin got pregnant first and who’s baby daddy was a complete failure and which of my uncles was most likely to get drunk and cause a scene. I was sure he wouldn’t remember any of it but I was trying to over prepare him for the shit show that was my family. I also needed him to make a good impression so it would look like he was actually happy to be dating me. Fake dating me of course. We checked into the motel first and I spent most of my time being frustrated with my hair and trying to curl it the way I wanted it. It just barely cooperated and i wasted about half a can of hairspray trying to keep everything in place.

My makeup was more softer and neutral than normal to go with my pastel pink floor length sweetheart neckline dress (which made me feel lowkey so pretty). Dani’s theme colors were pink and mint so I was able to at least wear something I would like. Just as i had slipped on my gown i realized there was no way I could reach the zipper in the back. I huffed and squirmed, trying my damndest until I finally gave up. I opened the bathroom door just a crack and peeked out. My heart basically exploded and I wouldn’t normally say that my basement could flood in two seconds but this was definitely one of those times.

Johnny was checking himself out in the large mirror on the other side of the room. He wore black pinstripe pants that hugged his ass like a dream. The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled to the elbows and a fitted grey vest covered his torso. He adjusted the black tie around his neck, fussing with it until he seemed comfortable enough. He had an extremely nice watch on one wrist and a silver chain bracelet on the other. A few simple rings decorated his fingers and his black dress shoes seemed to sparkle in the fluorescent lighting. His hair was even freshly faded and his bangs trimmed and slicked back. Lord have mercy I wanted to die. I swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths before I called out to him.

His honey brown eyes shot up to look at me and I gripped the handle of the bathroom door tighter. “What?”

“Could you um…help me zip my dress?”

He sauntered over to me I tried to keep myself within the tiny gap of the open door but he pushed it open leaving me exposed to all of his handsome glory. He found the zipper and slid it up slowly, making sure the fabric didn’t get caught in it. “Do you want me to tie the sash thing too?” I nodded meekly and felt his hands smooth over the fabric under my chest and slide back to gather the ends to tie into a bow. It was such a simple thing to do but it had my body turning warmer by the second. I caught him looking at me in the reflection of the mirror above the sink once he was done. He looked shocked, licking his lips as if he was trying to say something but not being able to get anything out. I turned my head back towards him.

“Do I…do I look okay?”

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “Yeah, you look alright.”

“Oh…” I said softly. Just alright.

“I mean like you look good, you know? Um…yeah, real good.”

I avoided looking at him as I slipped out the bathroom. I didn’t have that much time left before we had to head over and I still had to wiggle my feet into heels that I was sure would break my ankles as soon as I got into them. I struggled to get them strapped around my ankles, huffing when my boobs got in my way as I doubled over to reach my feet. I sat down at the small desk and tried to angle myself another way but it was still just as frustrating. “Need help with that too?” He asked.

I nodded, defeated and he came in front of me, landing on one knee. He slid my dress up to my thigh and took my foot in his hands, delicately securing the straps around my ankle. I couldn’t help but feel like Cinderella in that moment, even if my so called prince charming was a fuck boy. “Thanks.” I said softly as I stood up. He rose to his feet too and it was weird to almost be face to face with him, instead of staring at his chest.

“Oh, i don’t like this.” He joked. “I’d like you to stay mini sized.”

“Yeah well they won’t be on for long. They’re already killing me. I just need to get through the walk and first dance and then i’m tossing them.” I nibbled my lip for a moment before pressing them to his, which seemed to catch him a little off guard. “Hmm, it’s nice to not have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss you.”

“Hm, let’s hope that walk goes fast. I don’t like those heels either.” He smiled at me and offered his arm. “Ready now?”

I grabbed my clutch from atop the desk and nodded. “You have the room key right?”

“Yep.” We headed out of the room and towards the parking lot to my car. “You know, the pastel pink is really nice with your skin tone.”

I straightened up at his compliment. “You really think so?”

He opened the door to my car and lead me to sit down. “I know so.”

I laughed nervously. “A-are you practicing your boyfriend skills?” I tried to make it sound like a joke but he just shrugged and went over to the passenger side to get in. I swallowed hard and clicked my seat belt into place before revving up the engine. “Oh, remember how I said if I told you my government name I’d have to kill you?”

“Yeah?”

“Well you’re going to hear it tonight and if you so much as ever repeat it you won’t have a dick, got it?”

“Why not? It can’t be that bad!”

“Trust me, it definitely is.”

–

“ERIANNALISSE!”

I cringed. I cringed hard and wanted to shrink away into a minuscule molecule and be non existent. I didn’t even want to look at Johnny to see what he was going to say. I could practically hear him trying to cover up his snickers. I sighed and put on a fake smile as my aunt came to me with arms wide open to capture me in a death grip hug that could snap my spine in half. “Ay, mija! Look at you, you look so pretty!” She paused. “Have you gained weight?”

“Nice to see you too, Titi.” I grit my teeth and tried to ignore her shade. Her eyes went over to Johnny, looking him up and down and squinting her eyes a bit.

“Eriannalisse, quien es este?” She asked who Johnny was.

I grabbed onto his arm, digging my nails into his bicep. “This is my….boyfriend, Johnny.”

He waved and grimaced through my death grip. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”

“Hm…” Was all my aunt said. “Titi Carmen has been wanting to see you. I’m sure she’d want to meet…Johnny.”

“Yeah, i’ll go see her in a bit! I have to find mami and Dani first.”

My aunt kissed both of my cheeks and left to go join the gossiping group of women in my family who all suddenly turned their gazes from their champagne flutes to Johnny and I. I turned my back towards them and looked up at Johnny. “I will literally pay you .25 cents to kill me. Just make it quick.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Eriannalisse. What’s the worst that could happen?” He smirked and laughed a bit which made me frown.

“Johnny, I told you don’t call me that. I’m serious. They can call me that because they don’t recognize who I am as a person. You can’t.”

“O-oh…is it a gay thing? Like one of your gay things that you won’t explain to me?”

I sighed and looked down at my feet. “Yeah, sort of. I’ll explain it to you eventually. Just not now ok?”

He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “Ok, i’m sorry. I won’t say it again.” He leaned down just a bit and gave me a soft (rated PG) kiss which made me smile.

“It’s just hard being around them…I wish it would be a fun time but-” I suddenly heard vicious clacking before arms were thrown around my shoulders.

“ERIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!” I recognized the overly excited voice and looked up at my modelesque baby sister. “I missed you so much!”

I kissed her cheek and turned around to properly hug her. “Hey, happy birthday.”

“You’re like almost my height!” She said, looking down at my heels. Dani was so graciously blessed with being 5’8”, skinny, with straighter hair and caramel skin as opposed to my milk chocolate. Her eyes were the perfect shade of hazel with flecks of green that sparkled perfectly. She was only my half sister as our fathers were different but we were raised both the same, save for the fact that she was a model and I was the throw away. “You look so pretty. I’m glad you’re not in black- Yooooooooooo, who is THIS!?” Her attention turned to Johnny, her eyes wide and mouth practically watering.

“Uh…hey.” he said sheepishly.

“This is my boyfriend, Johnny.”

Dani laughed and slapped my shoulder. “No, really!? Who is he?”

I pouted. “I’m serious. He’s my boyfriend.”

Dani looked at me then stepped up to Johnny. “What’s her favorite color?”

“Pastel pink.” He answered.

“Favorite food?”

“Pizza…and pasta.”

“What instruments can she play?”

“Guitar, and she sings.”

“What’s her favorite anime?”

“Sailor Moon.”

Dani squinted her eyes. “When’s her birthday?”

Fuck, he didn’t know that. I grabbed Dani’s arm, trying to get her attention from ruining our facade. “Dani, can you not grill him please? It’s bad enough Titi Lisa and probably Titi Carmen are talking shit about us already. Also, I haven’t told mom yet.”

“You haven’t told mom yet?! How long have you been dating?”

“It’ll be four months in December.” Johnny added. “We started dating right when the semester started. We have a class together and I thought she was cute so,” He shrugged. “Here we are.”

“Yeah but you’re hot. Eri has never dated anyone this hot before.”

“Well gee, thanks Dani! And i’ve dated cute people before!”

“Yeah cute, not hot. He’s hot. If you’re not going to keep him, I’ll take him.”

“You’re fifteen!” Johnny and I said at the same time.

Dani shrugged. “I mean…”

I held my hand up. “Don’t even go there. He’s like-” How old was Johnny anyway? “Way older than you. Stop being an instagram thot for once. Where’s mami? I need to know when she wants us to line up and start this.”

“I think at 8 exactly, but she’s running around like a chicken with her head cut off. I’ve just been chilling with my friends for now. This dress weighs like 50 pounds and I’m sweating like a whore in church.” Dani fanned at herself and hiked up the bodice of her dress. I looked at her poofy dress that was a beautiful array of soft Monet colors but way too 90’s barbie cake topper. It wouldn’t have been my first choice but I was sure mami wanted it to look as traditional as possible. “Oh, by the wayyyy, I know you have a boyfriend now but mami invited Josue.”

I straightened up completely when I heard that name. Josue was my childhood crush. He was older than me and I never stood a chance with him but we always played together. Once we kissed in my backyard and told me that he wanted to play house with me and be the daddy. I had been in love with him up until I was 12 when he moved away to a different state. “Jo-Josue? He’s coming? Here? Tonight?” I squeaked.

“Who’s Josue?” Johnny interjected.

“Josue is Eri’s big ol’ crush from when she was younger. All they did was play house together and be mommy and daddy and make kissy faces at each other. Then they kissed for real and he touched her chichi’s! But they never lived happily ever after because he moved away.”

“Dani, por favor, why do you have to be like this? I’m just happy to know he’s going to be here. I haven’t even seen him in like…almost 7 years. Besides I’m with Johnny now so it doesn’t matter.” I forced his arm around my waist and he clutched onto it tightly.

“Uh-huh whatever. Have you not followed him on Insta? There’s a lot of nice gym pictures. He hit a growth spurt. He’s like 6”3’ now.”

I swallowed hard. “Really? O-oh wow…”

“Sounds like a tool.” Johnny scoffed. “Ya’ll got beer at this place?”

Dani nodded towards the bar at the back of the venue. “Just fight my uncles off before they drink them all.”

“Cool.” He dipped out completely, leaving me and my sister to be swept away by our mother who had just stepped in like she was out of breath. She hustled to get us all lined up and ready like a bridal party ready to walk down the aisle. I sighed as I stayed in place, shuffling a bit as my feet already started to hurt. My mind started wandering to my childhood crush. Memories started bubbling to the surface; he had been my first kiss, the first to get to second base, and the first person I had wanted to be my boyfriend. He was three years older than me and I didn’t stand a chance with him. But his name was written all over my notebooks until I got my first girlfriend.

I couldn’t help but peek around a bit, wondering if he was already in the venue. I didn’t have much time to investigate as our entrance music started playing and pair by pair we walked into the main dance floor. I was walking with one of my younger cousin’s who I rarely spoke with so I barely paid attention. He had to yank me back a bit when I walked too fast and it made me want to punch him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Johnny leaning against the back wall nursing a beer and watching me intensely. I smiled in his direction, letting him know I was still trying to be civil but he just took another sip and shoved his hand into his pocket. I wondered if he was ignoring me on purpose or if he genuinely didn’t see me. I chewed on my bottom lip almost getting swept up in my thoughts, that was until I saw Dani walking into the room.

Even though I had seen her just minutes ago now that all eyes were on her she looked sparkling and glowing. I’d never seen her look so beautiful before and it brought tears to my eyes that I tried wiping away as soon as they surfaced. I was a proud sibling then. She meant so much to me that I hoped that this day always reminded her of the happiest times she had in her life. We had our ups and downs but for the most part I was always there for her as much as she was there for me. She embarrassed me and I made sure I had to keep her in place before she got too out of hand. Even though I was far away from home now, I knew we would always remain close.

The floor was hers now and we dispersed to let her have the spotlight. I retreated to one of the circular tables while her and our mom shared a dance. It was normally meant for a daughter and her father but since neither of us had them in our lives our mother was the one who deserved to have that dance. I felt a touch on my shoulder and turned to see Johnny sitting behind me at the table. “Want some?” He said, offering the beer which i denied.

“I hate that kind. I’ll leave you too it.”

“She looks nice.”

“She’s a little shit but I love her.”

“I could say the same about you.”

I whipped my head around to stare at him wide eyed. “W-what?”

“I meant like you’re chill! Like i like you. Not like like you but like we’re cool. Uh…you know.” I stammered.

“Right…yeah, um…ok.”

“You wanna dance?!” He said, changing the subject quickly. Dani and my mother had finished their sentimental dance and the dj had switched to some reggaeton/trap mix Dani most likely requested.

“Uh, you mean make a fool out of ourselves?”

He shrugged and chugged down the rest of the beer in a few gulps. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad. My cousins were already grinding with whoever they invited or dancing in groups and laughing. We could probably blend in without being too weird. I kicked off my heels and stood up, extending my hand for him to take. I should’ve had a drink before I even agreed to this. My stomach was already in knots and my anxiety was making me feel like I was going to look stupid but he took my hand and we found a spot in a little corner of the dance floor. I stood in front of him waiting for him to make a move but he just stood there with his hands in his pockets. Why the hell did he keep doing that? Was it a nervous habit?

“So…” he said.

“Are you gonna like…move?”

“I’ve never danced to this sort of music. What do I do?”

“Literally it’s the same as rap music in english. You just sorta…” I gestured towards my family. “Grind on each other and act a fool.”

“So you turn around and just like put your ass against me?”

“Oh my God, have you never done that before?”

“Listen I was a dork and went to high school with a bunch of white kids and we like listened to Ke$ha and Britney Spears. What do you want from me?” He laughed.

“That’s unfortunate.” I joked. I turned around so my back was against his chest and I set his hands on my hips. “I’m not the best but I figure I can put my ass to use.” I worked myself back against him, swaying to the music a bit in hopes of getting him to respond.

Instead he laughed nervously and held my waist tighter. “How do people not get boners doing this?”

“I mean that’s what the song 'Too Close’ is about. Don’t tell me this is turning you on already.” I teased.

He lowered himself to face level and turned my head towards his to kiss me. I held it for a bit, enjoying the way the warmth of his tongue flowed over mine until I realized if my mom caught me doing this my ass would be grass. I pushed him back gently. “Johnny! I can’t do that. Behave!”

“C'mon, I at least need to have a little bit of fun while I’m here. And then when we get back to the motel we can-”

I felt a tap on my shoulder then. Johnny and I both looked up to see a tall, absolutely golden, green eyed adonis that looked like he could pick me up and toss me around in an instant. If I could have heart eyes I definitely would. I let go of Johnny instantly, almost pushing him away as my heart started to skip beats.

“Eri!” I knew it was him instantly even if puberty hit him like a freight train and gave him a deep bass-y voice that made my hair stand on end. He opened his arms to scoop me up and crush me to his barrel chest which smelled of high priced cologne. My feet dangled just a bit when he lifted me. “I can’t believe it. I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“Oh my god, Josue…Jesus, you’re huge.” God I hoped he was huge everywhere.

He laughed and I tried not to show how much it affected me. “Oh yeah, I’m really into that health and fitness thing. You really uh…wow. Definitely not a teeny bopper anymore.” He set me back down and adjusted the sleeves of his suit jacket.

“Yep! Got bigger boobs now, haha!” Why did I say that? WHY???

He licked his lips a smiled a bit. “I can definitely see that.”

Johnny cleared his throat deeply. Josue turned his attention to the man behind me. “Oh hey, I’m Josue. Who are you?”

“I’m her boy-”

“This is just Johnny!” I interjected with a nervous laugh. “Just Johnny! Want to go get something to drink? We can catch up!”

Josue flashed his incredibly perfect teeth. “Yeah I’d love that.” He set his giant hand against the small of my back ushering me away from Johnny.

“Eri!” Johnny said sternly.

“I’ll just be quick!” I mouthed to him, letting myself get whisked away. He didn’t seem too happy about that but I could let him sulk for a bit. I was too preoccupied at the moment anyway.

–

Johnny’s POV

That was fucked up. Way more than fucked up and I was pissed off beyond belief. She was the one who begged me to come with her so she would survive her family. Now she was head over heels for some dude she had a crush on years ago who looked like the biggest douchebag to ever exist. He was taller than me and more built, had perfect teeth and no lisp. I wanted to punch him dead in the jaw.

I didn’t know what to do now. If I went after her it might cause a scene which I didn’t completely want. I still knew that this party was important to her sister and unlike her I wasn’t being an asshole for once. I could get another drink and maybe get away with being a little tipsy but her loud uncles were hogging up the space and the bartender’s attention. I grumbled as I sat back down at the table. my arms crossed as I contemplated leaving her and going back to the motel by myself.

"What are you pouting for?!” Dani said as she plopped down next to me, her poofy dress seeming to expand.

“Nothing.”

“Where’s Eri?”

“With precious Josue.” I said bitterly.

“Ah, so he finally found her. I knew he would.” She drummed her nails on the table thinking over her next statement. “You’re not dating my sister are you?”

“It’s complicated…”

“You’re fuck buddies?”

“Yes.”

“I figured as much. She can’t never lie right when it comes to me. So, you’re in love with her then?”

I snapped my head towards her. “Excuse me?”

“You’re in love with her right? I mean that’s the only reason you would be sulking over her because Eri went off with her new papi.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not sulking.” She was definitely Eri’s sister with how she blurted out things without consequence.

“Look, if you want to win her over you need to definitely do something that will make her remember you. Not that I want to hear about my sister’s sex life or even think about her getting p or v action, but if you got something she might like, go for it. And do it before she ends up going to Josue’s hotel.” She craned her neck to see where Eri and that asshole had gone off too. “Looks like he may have already given her his number.”

I looked in the same direction, my anger only getting stronger. They were huddled over their phones, laughing, with Eri casually (but noticeably) keeping her hands on him. I didn’t want to “win her over”. I wanted to stake my claim and tell him to fuck right off. The grip on my biceps got tighter the more I stared at them. “Ay, you got a younger brother?”

I turned my attention back to Dani, a bit grateful that she was distracting me enough to not go apeshit. “What? No? I’m an only child.”

“Wack. But like if you’re not gonna date Eri then likeeee…”

“You’re fifteen! I’m not going to jail nor am I interested.”

“Ok, ok…but like do you have any younger friends? What flavor Asian are you? Chinese? Or like them ones that dance on tv? The um…the Korean ones!”

“Oh my God.” I ran a hand over my face. “Yes I’m Korean. And no I don’t have any friends your age. My only young friend in Toronto is 18, which is still illegal.”

“Dammit. You know Eri be listening to that stuff right?”

I pulled out my phone, wanting her to take a hint that she was now annoying me without being too rude. “Doesn’t surprise me when she fucks half of Asia.”

“All her hookups are with Asian guys?”

“As far as I’m aware. But who fuckin’ knows.”

“Oooohhh I gotta mess with her about that. Guess she trying to get that carribean dick now.” She cackled and slapped my back hard as she got up. “Call me, ok?!” She said as she finally left me to join the gaggle of teenage girls that were her friends.

I rubbed my temples and took a few deeps breaths. I needed a smoke, badly. I looked to see if Eri was still stuck to Josue’s side but they were nowhere to be found. I looked around the dance floor trying to see if they might have gone there. Sure enough she was grinding on him now, definitely not as awkward as she had been with me. She was practically bent over and ready to get fucked by him. Fuck it. I stood up and weaved through everyone dancing to make my way over to her. I stood in front of her, watching as she came up from shaking her ass.

“Can we help you?” Josue yelled over the music to me. I rolled my eyes at him and took Eri’s chin in my hand giving her a deep kiss. She stumbled back a bit and gripped onto my vest. When i pulled away i licked my lips, tasting the slight flavor of her lipstick.

“Johnny!” She exclaimed.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, in his macho voice, trying to one up me.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” I grabbed onto Eri’s waist and kept her close to me. “She’s MY girlfriend. You had your fun catching up right?”

“Eri, you didn’t tell me-”

She looked panicked as she glanced between us. “No, wait- It’s just-”

“Come with me.” I growled in her ear. “Now.”

“Johnny , I swear to g-” I kept my arm around her waist and lead her towards the front door of the venue. When we were in the clear she whipped around to face me. “What the actual fuck?!”

“I should be asking you the same thing! You’re really gonna ditch me to throw yourself on him? After you begged me to come here?!”

“I wasn’t throwing myself on him! We haven’t seen each other in 7 years! So excuse me if I wanted to talk with him.”

“Hard to talk to him with his dick practically in your mouth! What is wrong with you?!”

“Why are you being such a jerk again! You always do this!” She yelled.

“You’re the one being the jerk this time! I’m fuckin’ pissed. When are we leaving?”

“Leaving?! I have to stay here for at least a few hours! Clearly you don’t know how these go.”

“No, Eri, i fuckin’ don’t. But I do know that you going off with someone else while I’m supposed to be your boyfriend blows our entire cover. So either you fucking act right or I can leave right now. You sister already knows were lying.”

“Fuck!” She stomped her foot and sighed. “I knew she would figure it out. She better not tell anyone.”

“I’m pretty sure she won’t have to with you being stupid. Get me my cigs from your purse wallet thingy.”

“Get you-? Get it yourself! I’m freezing and I’m going back inside. And maybe i’ll still be talking with Josue!”

I grabbed her arm and held onto it. “Eri, do you want to go there? Really want to go there?” My eyes caught hers and i could see how hard she swallowed. Her chest was heaving chest a bit and trembling with the cold.

“What are you going to do?” She sniffled.

“Do you want to find out?”

“M-maybe.”

I let her go then opened the door, guiding her back inside. “Then keep it up. I dare you.”

She stayed quiet then but shuffled ahead of me quickly. I realized I had made her walk outside without her shoes on or our coats but it was whatever at this point. I needed her to know that I wasn’t playing games any more. She was mine.

–*

Eri’s POV

I could barely keep up with Johnny’s long strides from the parking lot to the door of our motel room. He continued his little tyrade of sticking by me and keeping me from Josue, never letting go of my hand, or my waist, even when he went through the ringer of meeting more members of my family. Him being pissed off had me pissed off and it didn’t help when my family told me how fat I looked, or asked when Johnny and I were getting married, or why I had spent so much time in college, or even that what I was studying wasn’t going to get me a real job. It made the entire rest of the night absolutely fucking miserable. Not to mention when I told my mother I was going to spend the night in the motel with Johnny instead of driving home at midnight she blew up on me, saying that it wasn’t right and insisting that I stay at the house. I refused to and I had no idea why she still thought I was some sort of Virgin de Guadalupe or some shit. It was another fight to end this magical night. I gave up and just wanted to take a hot shower, put on my fuzzy pajamas on and possibly smoother Johnny with a pillow as he slept.

Johnny barged into our room, not even bothering to hold the door open for me. I didn’t even want to deal with him since I was still mad at my mother for treating me like a child. I went straight to prepping for my shower, tossing my clutch and fake eyelashes on the desk and my phone on the bed so i could plug it in to charge. I unzipped the dress as best as I could without his assistance and shimmied out of it, leaving it a puddle in front of the bed. I didn’t care anymore. Not one bit. After I showered I pulled the too short towel around me and went back into the shared space. Johnny was sitting in the chair, feet propped up on the desk and tie loosened. He was glaring at me and I swallowed hard at the intensity. He dropped his legs and leaned forward in the seat, undoing the first few buttons on his dress shirt.

I tried to ignore the effect he had on me and instead went to my duffel bag to try and find my pajamas. He stopped me as I passed by him, grabbing my wrist and pulling me in front of him. “Ow! What’s your problem now?!” I asked, still trying to clutch onto my towel so it wouldn’t fall.

“This night was complete bullshit. I’m your boyfriend and all you could do was throw yourself onto that guy and embarrass me in front of everyone.”

“I wasn’t throwing myself on him!” I argued again. I hated that he was saying that. So what if I found Josue incredibly attractive and felt like a preteen again as soon as I saw him? That was my business and not Johnny’s.

“You grinded on him, got his number, and had your arms around him for minutes on end. You made me look stupid. I’m your boyfriend, Eri.”

“Fake boyfriend.” I corrected.

“That’s what I meant.”

“Why should you be embarrassed then?!”

“Because your uncles didn’t think that I was man enough to keep you with me. And your aunts talked shit about me all night.” He pressed himself up against me making the edge of the desk dig into my lower back. “You said you were going to be civil and you were far from civil.” He set his hands on either side of my hips, keeping me in place.

“A-ah, Johnny…back u-up.” I whimpered and avoided looking at him but he grabbed my face roughly.

“You wanna try that shit again, Eri? Hmm?”

I could feel his fingers digging harshly into my jaw. “I didn’t do anything wrong! You’re just a jealous prick that-”

He pulled away from me and shoved me back onto the bed, instantly hovering over me. My towel fell open just like my legs and he pinned both my wrists above my head in one of his large hands. I swallowed hard and felt my heartbeat increase. I had no idea what had gotten into him and i was partially thinking about what Doyoung had said about Johnny. Was he actually trying to manipulate me and make me feel bad for being with Josue? I bit my lip as I thought, wondering what his next move would be. “Get off me.” I tried to sound strong but it was a pathetic attempt.

“Open.” He demanded.

“W-what?” What the hell did he want? I figured it out quickly as three of his fingers dove down my throat almost making me gag. I squirmed against him, trying to edge my head away but he was adding more of his weight onto me as his fingers plowed into my mouth. His knee was pressed right into my center, the residual wetness from the shower dampening the fabric. I tried swallowing around the invasion when his knee started to rock into me.

“Suck harder, Eri.”

I didn’t dare look at him. His voice was doing something to me as always. Stirring the pot of emotions and hormones that made me fall into a space of complete submission. This wasn’t like his usual ways though throughout or hookups I could see the dominance poking through. Now he was another person that I was desperate to get to know. I tried my best to suck deeper at his fingers, sliding my tongue around them and providing them all the wetness they hopefully needed. I knew exactly where they were going and i was going to be stretched far beyond my imagination. With his thrust his rings kissed my lips, shocking me with a bit of cold and excitement. I edged my tongue around the silver as best I could given the invasion that took up most of my mouth. Slowly the metal warmed up and I pressed my thighs against his, feeling a tingling throughout my center.

He pulled his hand away sharply, making me cough as his glistening fingers dove lower. Two were rushed inside me making my knees jerk up towards my chest and toes curl. I was already crying out his name, wanting him to slow down just enough for me to catch my breath and adjust but he ignored me. Instead he was working in the third finger, forcing my walls to flex and waver around him. He was already digging my arousal out of me. I could hear it so blatantly echoing in our room. I buried my face in my arm beside my head, still being unable to free my hands though I struggled as much as I could. He seemed to like that struggle as his fingers curled deep inside me, knuckles pressing against my entrance, the rings threatening to push past and fill me up too.

“Fuck, Johnny!!!” I cried out as my thighs almost snapped shut. It was starting to be too much and I could feel myself already crawling towards an orgasm.

“Quiet.” Was all he said as he pulled his fingers out to give me some relief from the pressure. I was throbbing and gaping around the stretch he left behind, my whole lower half practically trembling. He finally let me go and sat down on the bed. He splayed his legs open, unzipping his dress pants and beckoning me over to him. “Get over here.”

I shook my head, raising myself to my knees and shrinking myself away. I wasn’t scared of him, far from it. I was definitely turned on more than anything but I wanted to push him further than he had ever been capable of. He wanted to be a jealous boyfriend that pushed my buttons well I was going to push right back. “You’re being a jerk. I’m not giving you the satisfaction, especially after you decided to barge in there with your giant ass fingers!”

He lurched forward and grabbed onto my arm before I could wiggle away. He yanked me to his chest then gripped the back of my neck hard. Our eyes met before he pulled me close to his lips. “I like it better when you don’t talk.”

I squinted at him, almost in shock that he used my own line against me. “You fucker.”

He pressed me down towards his lap though I tried to resist as much as I could. It was no use as he was stronger than me and I was face to face with his growing length trapped within his briefs. His hand was now digging into my hair keeping me firmly in place. I landed a bite to his hipbone making sure he knew I wasn’t too pleased in the way he was handling me. He hissed out my name and arched his hips, his nails digging into my scalp. I wrapped my hand around his, trying to pry his iron grip away while adding kitten licks to the outline of his cock. That seemed to soothe him a little as I heard him exhale through his nose as he relaxed back against the wall. His nails quit marking my skin and he opted to push my hair away from my face gently instead of trying to rip it out.

I slid his briefs back and guided him towards my mouth pressing kisses down the shaft before licking back up to the tip. Once I got to the tip, I took him in, swallowing his head completely. I shifted my hips to raise my ass higher for him to look at knowing it would tease him. I looked up at him and saw the full pleasure that was written across his face. His eyes had closed, his lips pressed together, and his fingers trailing down to open more buttons on his dress shirt. I popped off him and placed kisses up his stomach with each new area that became exposed. “I can tease that little spot that you like.” I smirked and added a slow stroke to his cock.

“Actually, I have a better idea.” He shoved me down onto my back and straddled my shoulders, his cock now hovering above my face. I couldn’t move with his weight on me and I was trapped between his thick thighs. He tapped my lips with his cock which I absolutely hated. I slapped at his stomach but he remained stoic. He only moved to shove himself down my throat, propping one hand against the wall while the other kept my head in place. He worked quickly to rock his hips against my face making me claw at him. I wasn’t used to this sort of thing, even with all of my experience, and it hurt like all hell. I was trying my damnedest not to gag around him but it was impossible given the fact that he was ramming into my throat. My eyes watered and tears fell against my will. My nails dug into his hips as I silently begged for him to slow down.

He was moaning my name, more than he ever had before, completely lost in the pleasure of torturing my throat. He looked fucking amazing, I had to give him that much, even if I hated what he was doing to me. I loved the way his hair was coming undone from the gel he used, the way his dress shirt lay open and his tie dangled above me like an invitation. The way his thighs stretched out his dress pants was a dream and I wanted to touch every part of him. I reached for the thinner end of his tie, pulling roughly so it zipped up to his throat. He lurched back at the sudden pressure and looked down at me. He must have seen my fucked up state because he pulled out, leaving me grossed out by the messy spit that connected us still.

"Fu-fucker. That hurt” I croaked.

He pulled off me completely before lifting me up to sit in his lap. He wiped away my tears and I buried my face in his neck, clutching onto his vest. He kissed at my cheek, pulling me away from hiding. “You ok?”

I sniffled and nodded. He worked his hands over my sides and hips trying to soothe me more. Of course he couldn’t help himself and gripped my ass tight which made me laugh just a bit. “I’ve never done that before…”

“Really?” He asked, surprised.

“Ok, I’m a hoe but like there are some things I haven’t done before. You have to remember you dick is huge, dude. I’m small.”

He gave me soft tender kisses and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I know, princess. I’m sorry. But don’t think you’re getting away with this shit either.”

I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest. “I stand by the fact that I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Hmm.” Was all he said before he tossed me face down onto the bed. I looked back at him as he discarded the rest of his clothes, dangerously holding his tie in his hand. He mounted me, as I was completely his to take and wrapped the loop of the tie around my wrists, pulling tight. “You like this don’t you?” It was supposed to be a command but I could tell it was mostly an uneasy question and he needed permission to continue.

I nodded and smiled at him. “I like it a lot, daddy.” I gave him a quick kiss sealing my consent. I threw out my rule of not using our titles with one another since he couldn’t actually communicate but in this moment I need him to know that I was his to command and I was giving him as much power as I would allow.

He wrapped the length tie around his fist, keeping a firm hold on it. His other hand jerked my hips up while his knee nudged my legs apart as far as they could go. My ass was raised, arms outstretched, and my body was trembling with excitement. His first thrust was swift and hard. I could hear his hips snap against me and I was barely able to hold myself up in that moment. My arms shook weakly and I dug my fingers into the sheets as my mouth curved into a silent moan. He was almost too deep for me to handle and every slam into me seemed harsher than the last. I couldn’t really keep up. It was overpowering and I wanted to scream my pleasure into the tiny room though I could barely even mumble a word.

My fingers curled as I tried to send tension to my arms instead of my weakening legs. It was useless though and I could feel my stomach tightening. He landed a slap to my ass just as I tried to pull away from him and regroup. I hissed and bowed my head, breathing out his title again. Suddenly, my phone buzzed by my head, the screen lighting up and distracting me. I turned to see who it was and winced. This was the worst time for him to call.

Johnny pressed my head into the mattress and sped up his brutal thrusts. “Why don’t you answer it, Eri? Let him hear how good you’re getting fucked. Tell him who’s really your boyfriend.”

I opened my mouth to say anything but all that came out we’re soft croaks. I panicked when I saw him reach for my phone and I struggled to move to try and block him. “D-dont, please don’t.” I was finally able to say. He let go of his grip on the tie wrapped around my wrists and instead set it around my neck. The call disappeared much to my relief.

“What a shame Eri. Let’s see if he calls back or if he took the fucking hint.” I swallowed hard and nodded, biting into my lip to try and still my moans. He quickly latched his teeth into my neck, sucking deeply like he always did when he wanted to mark me. “Stay on all fours, got it?”

I propped myself back to my elbows as he forced my thighs to rest on the outside of his. I could hear his moan of satisfaction at the sight of me splayed open with his cock stuffed inside me. I wanted to shy away and hide but he wouldn’t let me of course. He resumed his grip on the tie, pulling it taught around my neck and constricting my air flow. My eyelids fluttered and i wondered if this was heaven. Jesus, it felt so amazing even if every muscle in my body felt like it was burning and my insides were a scrambled mess. While he made my back dip by pulling my neck by the tie I felt his other hand slid down from my hips to my wetness, flowing over my clit. I was grateful for the extra attention and wiggled my hips to rock back against him and dive further into his fingers.

His finger started to trail from my clit to dance around my gaping entrance and just like before he pressed the long digit in little by little until it was almost as deep as his cock. I pleaded for him to stop, it was too much, too overwhelming for my overly sensitive walls but he kept working away at my torturous pleasure. That, coupled with his thickness, made the tendons in my legs strain as bliss shot through me. My moans mixed in with my strangled pants as he dared to press a second finger into me.“J-johnny!!” I rasped. “It’s too much!!”

He pressed his body weight harder against me, keeping me pinned so I would have no way from escaping the overstretching. “You’re not going anywhere.” He whispered harshly in my ear, making me shudder. He curled his finger then, the pressure of his knuckles against his cock, and the sliding of his rings against my heated walls made me clench meekly around him. Johnny enjoyed seeing me writhe beneath him, seeing me try and focus on being a good brat when in reality I was starting to unravel into a brainless mess. Nothing had a hold on my attention like the buildup he was creating inside me. I could barely process the words he was saying to me with how fuzzy my senses were. He curled his fingers deeper getting right to the root of my pleasure. The head of his cock was edging as far as it could go within me, his fingers pressed into the perfect spot, and his thumb brought back smalls swipes and circles against my clit. It was a haphazard clusterfuck of intense sensations that all culminated into a harsh orgasm that sent my mind reeling. It felt like my cum rushed out of me, painting my thighs with a deep warmth that was astounding.

I squeezed my eyes shut as my entire frame trembled. My muscles seized, tensed, and finally gave out. I fell forwards, collapsing onto the bed in a breathless heap. My lower half practically felt numb and I tried to concentrate on not passing out. It wasn’t just the physical fatigue, the mental and emotional fatigue of the entire day weighed on me in that moment. My few seconds of recuperation was cut short when Johnny pulled his fingers out of me. I felt another gush then, making me a bit confused as to how wet I really was. It definitely felt different and I could hear Johnny make some remark though his words weren’t registering. He said something else and I nodded weakly, agreeing to whatever he had posed just for me to have the ability to relax soon.

But that was definitely wishful thinking. He yanked me almost to the edge of the bed and continued his brutal fucking. I let him grip onto the back of my thighs as he huffed out growls and moans. He was swelling inside me, making me wince yet encourage him with mumbles that I thought were words. His fingertips dug into me harder and that sweet heat spread throughout my body again. I smiled and relished in the feeling of him pumping into me, slower and slower, until he milked himself completely. I laid there, unmoving and enjoying the way he felt inside me like I always did until I i lost myself in sleep.

–*

Johnny’s POV

I felt her move beneath me and there was a stickiness and sweatiness between us. I groaned as I didn’t really want to move but I needed to break away and get some air. My hand was over hers, my body curled around her, and my cock of course still inside her. It was almost perfect save for the giant wet spot we were forced to lay in because she squirted everywhere. We had both fallen asleep almost immediately after and i just adjusted her in the bed for me to have enough room to spoon her. Now everything made me feel like I needed an hour long shower. I rolled away, letting go of her hand and putting my forearm over my eyes to block out the bright light of the room. How long were we even asleep for?

She mumbled something and groaned, blinking a few times before fully looking at me. “Hey.” She sounded like she had smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day for the past 40 years and I cringed at my handiwork. She tried clearing her throat but opted that it was too sore and winced in pain.

“Hey…maybe you shouldn’t talk…” She glared at me and I shuffled a bit away so she wouldn’t attack me.

“I feel gross. Why is everything wet? What happened?”

“What do you mean what happened? We fucked?”

“No, no, I know that. But I was so tired at the end-” She paused to rub at her throat. “I felt like half asleep. It was good though but I was worn out.” She laughed softly.

“Well, you’re welcome for that but like…do you even remember your orgasm?”

She nodded quickly, her smile beaming. “Oh yeah.”

“You squirted everywhere and basically we’ve been laying in the soaked sheets because we’re dumb as fuck.”

“Wait…squirted? No, i can’t do that. I’ve never done that.”

“What do you mean you cant do that? You literally did. Twice. The first time when you had your big one and then when i pulled my fingers out. It was like…not how they make it out to be in porn. Like not some weird super soaker spray but like-”

She held her hand up to stop me. “Please don’t describe it any further. I just…holy shit.”

I pulled out of her slowly, never getting used to that amazing feeling. It got me every time. It also sent my cum dripping out of her which was almost as good of a sight as her squirting. “Fuck…”

She wiggled a bit, a look of discomfort on her face. “What the hell?”

“We’ll now we got my cum on the sheets…” I said, partially annoyed. We really had to get them off this bed.

“DID YOU CUM IN ME AGAIN?!”

Her yelling caught me off guard. “Yes? I asked you this time and you agreed!”

“When?!”

“What do you mean when!?”

“I’m sorry if I was too fucked out and tired to freakin’ listen to you blab during sex! But you can’t be doing that! It freaks me out!!!”

“Hey, i asked to cash in my favor and you definitely said yes so I did it. It is not my fault.” I sat up slowly and inched my way to roll off the bed. “Come on. We need to get these off and I think I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Aren’t you worried at all?” She said softly.

“Me? Not really. I told you it’ll be alright. We’ve got everything covered.” It was a lie but I was blinded by how good it felt sexually and I also didn’t want to make her panic more than she already was. I told myself I’d stop after this one last time and not risk it anymore. She didn’t move and I could tell she was overthinking again. I went over to her and scooped her into my arms, holding her bridal style. “I’ll have you get the shower started while I take care of the bed. She held onto my neck and buried her face in my chest as I walked her into the bathroom, gently setting her down in the tub. “You ok?”

“Y-yeah…” She reached up and pulled me in for a kiss that I held for a long time. It wasn’t deep or passionate but more so intimate and warm. I sighed and cupped her face.

“Go, ok? I’ll be right back.”

I pulled away from her which seemed to be getting harder and harder each time. Even if it was just back into the room it felt like a million miles away. I tore off the soaked sheets, glad that the comforter was still mostly dry, and tossed them in the corner of the room. I said a silent apology to housekeeping and hoped to all hell they wouldn’t look at it directly when they put it in the wash. I padded back to the bathroom and slipped in behind her.

“Turn around.” She said and I gave her a questioning look. She sucked her teeth. “I was just about to get the…stuff out.”

“Eri, i’ve literally seen you every which way. Do you really think I care how you look getting my cum out of you?”

“JUST DO IT.”

I sighed and turned around, picking up the little motel bar of soap and ripping off the plastic. I waited for her to finish, getting impatient about being in the cold spot. “Dude, hurry up.”

“THERE IS A LOT OK? You don’t cum like a normal human being!”

“Apparently neither do you, Splash Mountain.”

‘OH MY GOD. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.”

I snorted and looked back at her. “Can I please get under the water now? I’m freezing.”

She switched spots with me and I finally got under the hot stream, thankful to wash away a whole nights worth of sex. My time under the stream by myself didn’t last long as Eri snuggled up next to me, her hair a soaking mess of waves that framed her face and made her look like a painting of a goddess. “Too cold. I want to be next to you.”

“You big baby.” I joked and ruffled her hair. She pouted and poked at my stomach making me squirm away. Our antics made our shower way more fun than it should’ve been, mimicking the perfect time we had in the tub before I freaked out on her. It was almost like a do over and I was appreciative of that fact. Once we were done and dried we curled up, facing one another, under the comforter. And although we were both fatigued, we stood up for hours talking about shit I never even dreamed about knowing about her. By the time the sun rose I was able to realize that one thing was for sure. I was in love with her.

–

We thought everything would be fine after that, and it was between us, but on Eri’s side things seemed to hit the fan one after the other. Their grandpa, who was back on the island they were from, fell ill. Their mother didn’t let them have a say in anything and whisked them away, making them leave school and work behind. There was a looming threat that they could be fired or even lose their financial aid which worried them just as much as their grandpa’s health. Each night they were gone we would facetime just so I could see them. I missed having them beside me whenever I wanted and it wasn’t even about the sex anymore. I genuinely found that I liked talking to them. There was never any judgement and I started to understand why certain things were important to them. Now I had to be there for them and help them stay strong even though I knew they were crumbling.

I was laying on my side, my phone propped against the wall, as I watched them cry. There wasn’t much I could do, or even say, at this point but i remained on the video. They apologized over and over for crying so much but i reassured them that I didn’t care. They let me know that it was okay when I cried and I wanted them to know the same. “I miss you..” They hiccuped.

I sniffed and cleared my throat, swallowing my own emotions. “I miss you too…you know you have to be there. It’s going to be okay.”

“He’s gonna die Johnny. I know it. I visited him today at the hospital and my mom and my aunts just keep putting this weird bandaid on it. They keep thinking he’s going to bounce back and be able to take care of the house and my grandma and he wont. He literally wont. I don’t know why they won’t just fuckin’ say it.”

“They’re scared, Eri. They’re losing one of their parents. It’s always going to be scary.”

“I know that but I hate being the only fucking rational one here. It’s driving me insane. Just look at him and say he’s going to die! He’s just going to die, Johnny. He’s going to…” They burst into another round of tears and buried their face into a pillow, muffling the heart wrenching sobs. I wish I could be there. I wish I could hold them so fucking tight and never let them go. It hurt me to see them like this.

“Baby, look at me, ok?” They moved their head up and wiped at their eyes. “When you come back here, i’ll be here for you ok? It’s going to be hard but I’ll help you get through this. And so will Quinn and stupid ass Lucas and all your other friends.”

I finally saw them crack a small smile which made me feel a little better. “I know…I-” Suddenly, someone burst into their room. I couldn’t make out who it was exactly as the video started to pixelate. They had a conversation that I couldn’t understand but seemed stressed. They grabbed their phone and finally the video came back into view. “I have to go. I-I’ll talk to you later, ok?!” Before I could even respond the video was cut off and I had my own disturbance burst into my room. I shot up in bed, looking at Jae who seemed to be distressed. Great, was everyone around me having issues at once?

“Dude, what the-” He held his cell phone out in his shaking hand and I could see a call from an unknown number going on. “What?” I asked, still confused.

“Talk. Talk now.” was all he said.

I took the phone tentatively and held it to my ear. My body went into shock as soon as I heard the voice that had haunted me for weeks on end. The voice that made my skin crawl and make me want to vomit. What she said next drenched my blood run cold.

“Johnny, I’m pregnant.”

#johnny #johnny fanfic #johnny smut #johnny suh #johnny seo #nct #nct 127 fanfic #johnny nct #nct 127 fanfiction #nct 127 #nct smut #nct 127 smut

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whattimeisitintokyo · 6 years

Text

Somos Familia: Chapter 34 (Part 2)

Well this chapter ended up being way too long. I had planned more for this chapter, but that ended up being long enough to be its own chapter and I’m tired of feeling that I have to finish the whole thing in order to post it. So here’s the last bit of the chapter. You can find the whole chapter on ff.net, and I’ll try to have it up on AO3 with a illustration soon. Sorry again for the long wait.

Also tomorrow is my birthday. I guess you could say that finishing this chapter on my own terms was my gift to myself. :)

---------------------------

Chapter 34: No Me Dejas (Part 2)

“Three days have passed since Dia de Muertos, and the country still mourns the abrupt and tragic loss of Ernesto de la Cruz, widely considered as one of the greatest musicians in the modern history of Mexico. Señor de la Cruz had just finished performing a concert that evening when sources say that a giant prop bell had accidentally broken off from the stage rigging above the singer, crushing and killing the singer instantly.

Since then thousands of grieving mourners have flocked to the gates of de la Cruz’s magnificent mansion in Colonia del Valle, holding candle light vigils and singing prayers while also leaving tokens and flowers outside. The mansion has also served as the home to his goddaughter and rising starlet, Coco Rivera. Whilst being known as a favorite topic of gossip this pass year in newspapers and magazines, Señora Rivera has surprisingly been keeping a low profile and out of the public eye since that fateful night. It can only be assumed that she is taking this time to mourn as well for the loss of such an important family member.

In related news her father Héctor Rivera, de la Cruz’s longtime business partner and songwriter, has been in hospital since that night after being taken from the scene by paramedics. There is no word on his condition, but his lawyer has assured that Señor Rivera was not injured in the stage accident but is instead seeking treatment for an undisclosed illness. We here at Excélsior wish him a speedy recovery and our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family.

Petitions are already being made to have Senor de la Cruz’s body to be lain to rest in his hometown of Santa Cecilia in Oaxaca, despite heavy requests to have him entombed in la Panteón Civil de Dolores alongside other famous people in Rotonda de las Personas Ilustres.

At the time of his death Señor de la Cruz was in the middle of several movie projects that will sadly forever remain unfinished, including a biopic about the Mexican Revolution, and was in talks of a deal to lend his voice for an American animated movie with Dis-“

A low, quivering moan broke Imelda’s concentration on the newspaper and turned it towards her husband currently occupying the hospital bed in front on her. With a sigh she folded it and placed it to her side, reaching out and grasping one of his twitching hands with hers. She winced at the tremors she still felt rattling slightly through his fingers, as well as the awkward way she was forced to hold his hand.

What with his wrist being tightly braced and strapped to the guard rail of the bed.

His other hand was also strapped on the opposite side, and a large padded belt wrapped around his thin chest to keep him firmly in place on the bed. An oxygen mask was placed over his face and several IVs were pumping him full of fluids and medicine. And despite being in a deep state of sleep, his teeth were clenched tight and his brows knitted into an expression of intense distress. A keening whine escaped his throat that gave into a deep, hacking fit of coughs.

Imelda immediately pulled off the mask and brought a clean handkerchief to his mouth as Héctor coughed painfully, only the straps keeping his body from convulsing on the bed. Finally, with one good expulsion he was able to clear his airway for the time being, gasping as Imelda wiped the corners of his mouth and placing the mask back. As he settled back down, he gently started to tremble again, whining pitifully and tears leaking from his dark sunken eyes.

Imelda sighed as she brought a clean corner of the handkerchief to wipe the tears from his face before placing it down to run her fingers through his greasy, unwashed hair to offer some form of comfort. It only seemed to distress him further and with a broken dry sob he wrenched his head away from her touch, lost in his nightmares.

It was truly heartbreaking to see Héctor reduced to such a state, but she was grateful to see him getting at least some form of rest. Especially after the last few days.

“What is this?!” she had screamed at the doctor, watching on in horror as several orderlies fought to restrain her husband’s mad flailing. “This is not pneumonia! What is happening to him?!”

Before the doctor could answer Héctor let out a wail and swung a punch at an unfortunate orderly standing too close by and knocking him off his feet. His arm now free he managed to rip off the IV out and began to frantically scratch at his chest, all the while yelling out profanities and indecipherable words as his eyes tracked at unseen figures and visions. As Imelda was hurried out of the door the last thing she heard was Héctor calling out for Ernesto.

And then for her.

“It’s the DT’s.” the doctor had explained after he was able to calm her down some with Coco and Julio by her side. “Delirium tremens. It’s alcohol withdrawal. If he’s been drinking for as long as you’ve said, Señor Magallanes, then it’s quite dangerous for him to just completely stop. It causes vivid hallucinations, irregular heart rates, sometimes seizures and, if severe enough, death.”

Ignoring the agonized weeping from her daughter and her own chest clenching in grief, Imelda whispered. “What can be done?”

The doctor wrung his hands and looked down in dismay. “Honestly, not much. There are medicines that can be given to treat this, but they would adversely affect his respiratory system. Given his pneumonia I can’t recommend giving it to him. Also, there’s the fact that he’s malnourished, and the shock… All I can do is give him some mild sedatives and monitor his heart and lungs. The rest is up to him, I’m afraid.”

They had returned to his room a few hours later to find him as he was now: strapped down and barely able to move, Dios knows that he was trying though. Despite the small amount of medicine that was given to calm him down, Héctor still saw visions that were terrifying to him and he strained to lash out at them. His screams had died down to pitiful whimpers and moans, and tears streamed down into his hair and ears. Over the next few days he was either in this state or a death-like sleep, and Imelda didn’t know which one was worse.

She felt absolutely foolish about it now, but seeing her husband going insane right in front of her had caused her to lash out at her daughter. Why didn’t she tell her that it was this bad? That he was starving and drinking himself to death, that his cold was actually much worse than it was, and that he was so miserable and broken-hearted that he screamed for her in his nightmares?

Instead of a cowed child being rightfully chastised by her mother for keeping secrets from her, Coco had met her glare dead on and even more. Imelda flinched back in shock at the righteous fury that showed on her daughter’s face, and what she had said next had finally knocked her off the high pedestal that she had set herself up on:

“What do you care, Mamá?”

And Imelda had to admit, she was right. Nothing she had done the past few months had shown that she cared about the man that she had kicked out of her life. She ignored every call, sent back every letter and telegram, even dodged each mention of him when Coco would talk to her on the phone. When she had bid a warm goodbye to Julio and Victoria she told them to give her love and warm wishes to Coco when they arrived. But not to Héctor. She just didn’t care.

But that was wrong. She did care. She cared about him and loved him so much that it hurt. And seeing her husband now, so lost in his sickness and misery, Imelda couldn’t bear the guilt that was crushing her from the inside.

“idiota… This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Imelda whispered as she locked Héctor’s cold fingers around hers once more. “You weren’t supposed to do this. Héctor…”

But he continued to sleep fitfully, his breathing hitching and occasionally giving in to more cough fits, and she continued to stay by his side. It was all she could do, now that it was too late.

-----------------------------------------

It was quiet now.

The walls had stopped melting into putrid puddles of gore and maggots, the bugs had stopped buzzing in his head and stinging his flesh, and the monsters had stopped attacking him.

The monsters were the most terrifying though. They held onto his arms and legs so tightly that he thought he would end up breaking his bones in his efforts to get away from them. They had looked human too, but humans didn’t have glowing white eyes and rotting flesh. They’re voices were low and distorted, filling him with dread despite what the words they said that were supposed to sound soothing.

Señor Rivera, calm down. You’re safe!

We have to give him something!

We can’t risk his lungs giving out! Just strap him down!

Dios, turn him over! There’s too much fluid, suck his lungs out!

It took forever for them to finally let him be, after many terrifying episodes of not being able to breathe and more fits of screaming in terror of the horrible visions in front of him, but he was finally able to break free and make a run for it. Well, run wasn’t the best word for how he was able to finally move. Floating wasn’t either. The world seemed to dissolve into a myriad of distracting colors and sounds, and he simply let his mind flow with it in a dream-like state.

And then suddenly he found himself finally there.

Back in front of the bell.

With a cry of triumph, he made his way over to it and braced himself against it in a sort of clumsy hug. “Don’t worry Ernesto! I’ll get you out! You’ll be alright!”

And so he had pushed. And pulled. Digging his feet into the earth and straining as hard as he could against the cold hard bell. He shouted encouraging words towards his friend, not letting the lack of a response deter him in any way. It seemed like he did it for hours, for days even, his throat hoarse as he cried out for help from someone, anyone! He’d even accept the monsters help if he could find them. In a last ditch effort he had even called out for his wife, pleading with her to help him even if she wanted nothing to do with him afterwards.

But she didn’t come. He could swear he heard her voice whispering to him, but he couldn’t make it out no matter how hard he tried to listen. With a broken heart he could only conclude that she was telling him to leave her alone. She had no use for such a lousy husband and a terrible father to her children. He couldn’t say he blamed her. He couldn’t even help his brother escape from his prison.

He was worthless.

And so, for the longest time, there was nobody except him and that bell. When he couldn’t push against it anymore, when his voice finally gave out and his spirit broke, he sat in front of it and softly cried. He murmured apologies to Ernesto, to Imelda, to his children, to anyone he had wronged in his existence. There was no use. There was nothing left for him. Except that bell.

“What are you doing?”

With a gasp Héctor looked up at the new presence before him. At first he feared it was one of those terrible monsters come back to take him away again, but it’s voice was not bone-chilling and grating. Rather it was sweet and clear, the clearest Héctor had heard in a while, but the figure itself was… light. A vaguely human shape ball of light that burned so bright yet oddly didn’t hurt to look at. If he squinted a little Héctor could guess that its head was slightly tilted in a sort of curious quirk. It was sort of cute, if a ball of light could be considered cute, and Héctor found himself slowly start to relax.

“I-…” he sniffled pitifully and turned watery eyes towards the bell. “I can’t move it… Ernesto’s under there and… I have to save him.”

“Really?” the light said and floated over the bell. Héctor saw a hand reach out and knock against the bell, and it rang out loudly enough for Héctor cringe back with a wince. He didn’t like that sound. Not at all. “I don’t know. Sounds empty to me.”

Héctor gaped at the bell, his heart sinking, and frantically shook his head. “N-no!... He’s under there! I saw it drop on him!”

The ball of light chuckled in tinkling sort of way, and Héctor glared at it. “Well, si, you did. I saw it too. But that was a while ago. He’s not under that bell anymore either. This bell,” it said and knocked on the bell again, the loud clanging causing Héctor to grip his head in pain. “… is hollow. Empty. And is just here to waste your time.”

Tearing his hands from his head, Héctor stared wide eyed at the ball of light. “Waste my time?... What do you mean?”

“I mean you need to wake up and face reality, tonto!”

Suddenly the ball of light zipped towards him and enveloped him in a soothing warm glow, almost as if it was hugging him, and Héctor found himself being lifted towards his feet. Once he was firmly standing up the light took him by the hand and started to lead him away from the bell. He resisted a little with a slight whine, his gaze fixed back on the bell, until a sharp tug jerked him away and pulled him forward. With a huff he glared at the light leading him away, gritting his teeth when he thought he could make out a sly smirk flitting across the vague features.

He continued to look back though, watching as the bell slowly faded from view into a white void. Then he noticed that the walls started melting again. His breath hitched a little in fear, terrified that the horrible visions from before were coming back to haunt him. The light gripped his hand tighter, but in a soothing manner, and Héctor managed to find comfort in the light for the first time since he met it. It was then he noticed that the walls weren’t exactly melting, but rather… falling into place.

Windows stacked next to each other, light fixtures dotted the ceiling in a straight line, and floor tiles tumbled into place just as his feet managed to touch them. It was then he noticed the pattern of the tiles, the color of them, and the shape of the windows and other fixtures. He had been here before. It had been a long time ago, but he had been here long enough to recognize the way the hallway was set up, and what doors led to what. It was engrained into his memory.

“I don’t like this place.” Héctor whispered.

“No, I don’t either,” the light said softly. “But it’s where you need to be right now.”

They continued on at a comfortable pace down the hallway, and slowly people started to materialize in Héctor’s vision. Men and women in sterile white clothing walking past them without even noticing them. Two of them were wheeling a bed down at such a speed that Héctor barely had time to react before they barreled right through them and raced down the opposite direction. The light giggled at that, and Héctor couldn’t help but give a shaky smile himself.

But suddenly a thought came to mind that chilled him to the bone, and he looked down at the light apprehensively. “Am… Am I a ghost?”

“Hmmm… No, I wouldn’t say that. But I wouldn’t worry about that. It’ll all be over soon.”

That was when the light finally led him into one of the rooms and let go of his hand. Looking up Héctor stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw: It was him. Lying in a bed, his hands strapped tightly onto the railings and his chest rising slowly with breath. And sitting beside him… was…

“No.”

The light paused on its way to bed to turn back and look at him. “No?”

“No I-I… I can’t.” Héctor whispered, his eyes never leaving his beautiful wife’s face. “Why is she there? She… She doesn’t love me. I can’t take it anymore… It h-hurts too much.”

“I’m pretty sure she loves you. Why else would she be sitting with you? Look at her. She looks so sad.”

Héctor shook his head miserably. “She’s just waiting for me to wake up… to tell me it’s finally over. That she’s moved on… I can’t face her… I’m too tired.” He dropped to his knees and stared at the floor, all the peace he was starting to feel again being crushed by despair. “Maybe it’s for the best… That I don’t wake up at all… Ernesto’s gone. Imelda hates me… I have nothing left.”

His head hung low and tears clouding his vision, he almost didn’t see the light step towards him until he felt its warm glow cup his face gently. With a sniffle he raised his eyes its face, or what he could guess was its face, and let it wipe the tears from his cheeks. Then he watched as it raised its hand slightly above his line of sight, and then…

*THUMP*

“OW!”

Héctor reared back onto his rump and flashed a hand up to his stinging forehead, rubbing it and staring at the figure before him in shock. “Did… Did you just flick my forehead?!”

“Si.”

“Why?!

“For being an idiot.”

With a snarl he managed to get back onto his knees. “I don’t need to take that from- GGGNAK!” His head was yanked forward as the light grabbed his nose, twisted, and pulled down hard. Then with its other hand it pulled his ear as hard as it could and started to shake his head back and forth. “GAH! What are you doing?!” he screamed nasally. “Stop!”

“What do you mean don’t wake up at all?!” The lighted shouted at him, continuing its assault as Héctor’s eyes watered with pain instead of sorrow. “Where is that coming from?! ‘Riveras never give up.’ Isn’t that what you’ve always said?”

Trying to pry the figure’s hands from his face, he glared up at it. “I’m not a real Rivera… I just married one- ARGH!”

“You’ve been a Rivera a whole lot longer than you haven’t been, old man!” the light yelled back. “And you haven’t lost everything! What about your children? Coco, and your granddaughter! What about Miguel. Are you really going to leave a little boy to grow up without his father? And who’s going to greet Matty when he comes back from the war?!”

“As for your wife, she right there waiting for you to wake up! She can’t run and hide in Santa Cecilia anymore! If you have something to say to her, then you make her listen to you! Think about it, you’re sick in a hospital bed. At the very least you have pity on your side, right? But don’t give up on her so easily, cabrón!”

“All right, all right! Ow! Just let go of me already!”

With one last shove the light let go of Héctor’s head and he cradled his face in his hands, getting his breathing back under control and trying to rub away the burns and stings. He flinched as the warm hand landed back on his shoulder, but when no further violence came his way he dared to look back up.

“I know this has been hard on you.” The light said gently. “And I know that you’re scared. But even if things don’t work out for you and your wife, you shouldn’t feel the need to give up. You still have a lot to live for.”

Héctor stared at it for a few long moments, before turning back towards the bed. Towards Imelda. It was right, she did look sad. And tired. If he woke up now, maybe he could talk to her. Maybe she’d talk to him. Despite his brain trying to convince him over and over that he was done, it was his time, and there was no need to linger on, his heart wouldn’t let him. It was leading him back to her. To his family.

Just like it always had.

Damn poet.

With a heavy sigh me slowly stood up and made it to his feet, his gaze now fixed on his unconscious form on the bed. With a new determination he made his way over and paused at the edge. Do I just… lay on myself? With a short snort of laughter he did just that, and was surprised to see his leg phase through himself as he climbed onto the bed. Rolling over he laid down onto his back, stared up at the ceiling, and waited.

…..

And waited…

…..

“Uh, nothing’s happening?”

The light shrugged. “You have been sleeping for a long time, and you’re sick. It might take a while for you to actually wake up.”

Before Héctor could reply to that, he started to feel changes slowly flowing into his body. Ah, this must be it. He started to feel heavier, more solid. That itself was a comforting feeling. He settled back down onto the bed and let the sensations build up through his limbs. He stayed still like that for a few minutes, with his eyes closed, before a tinkling little laugh next to him caused him to open them.

“This is taking forever!” The light giggled. It was such a sweet sound. So pure. Where had he heard it before? “Though not surprising. Even when you were healthy it took forever to wake you up, even when I jumped on your chest in the morning and tried to pry your eyes open.”

Héctor brows furrowed in confusion. He tried to lift his head off the pillow to look at the light properly… but found that he couldn’t. Slowly the solid feeling of his body turned into a heavy burden. He was so heavy! Too heavy! I can’t move!

“W-what?... What’s hap-”

The heaviness started to form inside his chest. His breathing turned into frantic gasps as he struggled to get air into his lungs. And now his body started to hurt! His arms and legs cramped and his head started to pound. Behind his gasping he heard his heart beating loudly in his ears. This is bad! This is bad! What’s happening to me?!

Then suddenly the light was leaning over his face, and Héctor stared at it with fright. Was this it’s plan all along? To trap him in this pain filled husk and laugh at him for his foolishness? He never should have trusted it! It started to lower itself to him, and with a small whimper he clenched his eyes shut and braced himself against... What? Oblivion? Mutilation? The destruction of his very soul? Whatever it was it couldn’t be good! It couldn’t-

“And don’t worry about Tio Nesto. He’ll be all right. I won’t let him be alone.”

….

Tio Nesto?

Héctor’s eyes snapped open and he saw the light was hovering over his face. He saw that smile again grace it’s face before it leaned over and… gave him a small kiss on the forehead. It was quick and chaste, but it was so warm and sweet, and it slightly soothed the aches that were afflicting his body. It drew back again and stared at him with such love in it’s eyes, and Héctor realized with a start of the fact that he could see it’s eyes.

They were his eyes!

Her eyes.

“You feel better Papá.”

With a choked out sob, reached out towards the light- my daughter!- but found that he couldn’t. He glanced down at his hands and saw that they were strapped to the railings of his bed, and no matter how hard he shook or strained against them he could not tear them free. Sitting up was also not an option, as the thick belt across his chest prevented him from lifting even an inch.

He turned his attention back towards his little girl, but she was gone. She had left him. Again.

“Leti!” Héctor cried out, tears streaming down his face as he tried to strain against the bindings once more. “Leti, don’t go! Leti come back, please come back! Don’t leave me, mija. Please don’t leave me again! Please, please, please…”

“Calm down Héctor.” A tired voice broke through his weak sobbing, and he glanced up through watery tears as his wife ran a hand through his hair in a calming motion. She began to speak to him, numbly, as if she had been repeating the same things over and over. “It’s not real. You’re alright. None of this is really happening. She’s not here. It’s okay, Héctor.”

Héctor concentrated on his wife’s face, forcing himself to calm his seizing chest and his pounding heart. He listened to her soothing words and slowly the hysteria faded away, leaving him exhausted and light-headed. And as the minutes passed and he became more and more aware of his immediate surroundings, the visions from before slowly faded as well. What had he been dreaming about? There was a light, he remembered. And a voice. It was so familiar. But even those vague recollections of his dream faded into nothingness as well, as for the first time in over three days Héctor was finally awake and aware.

“Imelda?” Héctor whispered. “What happened?”

“…Héctor?”

#somos familia #coco #coco pixar #pixar coco #coco fanfiction #Hector Rivera #i love flicking my dad on the forehead #So Leti does too

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klara-with-a-k · 5 years

Text

Peter pan #2

Klaras pov.:

After a while I dosed of to the sound of soothing music, It also must have been very late, and a whole night of dancing, no wonder I was going to pass out tired.

I woke up to the feeling of pressure being pushed on top of my lower body. When I opened my eyes, I saw pan over my body, covering my mouth with his hand, while using the other hand to tell to me to be quiet.

He then slowly leaned over and whispered in my ear: "Hooks awake he's on watch duty, so stay quiet and follow me." By this point my heart was racing over the roof, but I ignored the butterflies in my stomach and nodded my head.

He got off me, and gestured his hand to me, to help me up, but instead of taking it I smacked it away and got up on my own, this made pan smirk and shake his head, as he started to walk to the forest, as I followed closely behind.

After a while of walking I decided to speak up: " why didn't you just poof us away? You did it last time." "That's because regina would be able to sense my powers." He simply said.

"Okay then, what do you want?" He stoped in his tracks, and turned around to face me, he seemed annoyed with me. "Look, you still have to do more distracting, that's why I thought I was gonna take you somewhere safe, for you to hide." "Hide? Hide from what?" I cut in. "You didn't let me finish!" He glared at me. "Okay, okay! Sorry!" I apologize.

"As I was saying, we're gonna make it look like you ran away, that way they're going to have to find you first befor they find Henry." He continued. "No offense but that's kind of a shity plan." I said as he looked at me confused while also looking offended at the same time. "Do you have a better plan?" He hissed. "As a matter of fact, I do! You probably think that they'll care for me to the point that they'll risk their own family members life just to find my stupid ass the second time of running away, well you're obviously wrong about that." I explained. "Well then tell me your brilliant plan." "Fuck no! I already helped you enough!" I replied. "Do you wanna get stranded in the middle of no where all alone or what?" He threatened. "Go ahead! I'm not scared, I've been in this type of situation before, what makes you think I wont survive?" "Ugh! You are so infuriating!!!" He shouted at me. "I know that! Look we can just play along with your plan, but that doesn't mean it'll work, because you might not know this but Peter Pan DOES fail!" I shouted back, pissing pan to the point where he slammed my whole body against a tree, while have a knife at my throat.

"You dare talk back to me!" "Go ahead... do it!" I looked straight into his eyes with no fear, as his expression softened. We started into each other's eyes for a while, before pan pulled away.

"Tell me what your plan is or I'll go after Henry." He said simply. He really knew my weakness, I couldn't let Henry die earlier.

I looked away from him, disappointed in myself as I spoke: "If you pretend to kidnapped me, they might be more concerned with my well being, but you'd have to kidnap me in front of them. Make it seem that I'm important. So they would come and save me." I explained with little to no life in my words, I felt like I was betraying everyone, and it pained me deeply.

Pan then with no words walked closer to me, and grabbed my arm pulling me towards him. He had me facing back towards him, while he once again had me at a knife point.

"What a brilliant idea, love. Now play along." He whispered into my ear, making my heart skip a beat.

He teleported us to where I was sleeping before, just to cause a big scene. "Start struggling." He whispered into my ear again, as I yelled out for help: "H-hey! Let go of me!!!" "Klara!?" Emma, snow and charming shouted. "Let go of her!" Emma threatened. "Oh, but I'm afraid I can't do that, you see, I want her!" My eyes widened at the words pan said. "And if you want her back, you'll just have to get her back, but I highly doubt it, since you do care for Henry more." He continued. 'This isn't right.' I thought to myself as I regretted my decisions.

I was about to blur out the truth, when he knew what my intentions were, he covered my mouth with his hand, I struggled against his grip, but it was no use.

"Fine, what do you want pan!" Emma shouted. "Oh, you'll just have to find out when you find her!" Pan shouted back as, he threw her another map, I'm guessing its something similar to the map we got earlier to help us find Henry. "This map will not only help you find Henry, but it'll also help you find klara. Now tick tock, times running out!" He said as he once again teleported us away.

When we got to his thinking tree, he threw me against it, so I'd get mangled in its vines. "You think you were gonna get out of this, turns out that I was really kidnapping you. What a cliche." He said to me threateningly. "Now wouldn't this have been better if you would have just played along?" He asked in a deep voice. "I'm not just gonna sit around and do nothing while Henry's life is in danger!" I replied with full of anger.

Pan then slapped me so hard over the face, that my neck hurt from the fast and hard head turn, I felt a numb but tingling sensation in my cheeks, as I felt a tear stream down my face.

He stepped even closer to me to whispered in my ear: "No one... uses that tone against me." He then leaned back, and saw the tear on my cheek, as he decided to whip it with his tumb.

I saw no emotion in his eyes, and the thought if him possibly being a sycophant, made a shiver go down my spine.

We once again started into each other's eyes for a while, before pan pulled away, and teleported himself away, as I stood there in pure awkward silence.

Peter pan's POV.:

I got back to my tree house, as I barged in through the door. I sat on the edge of my bed, holding my head in distress. "What am I doing!? Why do I feel this way!?" I was mad at myself. 'I can't possibly be having feelings for this girl?' I thought to myself. "UGH!!!" I groaned, as I threw a pillow hard at a wall. "I can't fall in love! I cant stoop that low! I'm better then those heroes!" I shouted as I stood up and walked to the bathroom where I leaned over the sink and washed up my face with water to snap myself to out of this dreamlike state, then I looked up at the mirror. I stared at myself in the mirror for a while before I once again spoke. "Love is weakness." I whispered, reminding myself of the truth.

------

After much time has passed, I went to check in on how the hero's were doing and they've figured out the map and were on their way to save klara. So I decided to go check in on her one last time.

When I got to my thinking tree I heard singing. "Are you? Are you? Coming to the tree? They strung up a man. They say who murdered three. Strange things did happen here. No stranger would it be. If we met at midnight. In the hanging tree." Klara sang, as I listened for a while.

When all of a sudden the birds around us sang along. I stared in disbelief, just as much as klara was confused, she continued to sing at the birds whistles got louder. She really was something.

After a while the song came to an end, as the birds around us stopped in sync. "Awesome." Klara said excitedly, as she looked up at the trees around us with motive in her eyes. Then all of a sudden a noise came from a far. "Um... Hello!?" Klara called out. "Klara? Klara is that you!?" Emma called back. "Guys I'm over here!!!" Klara shouted.

They ran out of the bushes, revealing themselves to klara. Which meant that this was my que.

Klara's POV.:

I saw everyone pop out of the bushes, but before any of us could say anything we were interrupted. "Good job Emma, you did it. But right now is not the time for victories, I'd say you have to get klara out of her trap." Pan says, I already knew what he was talking about, but the rest of the group didn't. I hung my head down in defeat, I knew what I needed to do.

"That's the least of our problems! All we need to do is get her out of those vines." Regina said as she got closer to me trying to free me of the vines, by trying to cut it down, but all that did was squeeze me even tighter. "R-Regina! N-no! S-STOP!" I screamed and groaned in pain. As I could bearly breed at this point. "Regina! Stop! You're making it worst!" Emma shouted as she pulled Regina away.

The vines let go of its grip a bit, but still not enough, I was in a very uncomfortable position. And could bearly breathe, I felt like I was going to lose consciousness. I could care less when it came to dying, but I couldnt die on Henry and everyone now, they wasted their time to save me, when they could damn well have save Henry.

"I'm sorry." I said as I looked at the ground, while trying to hold in my tears. "Sorry? Sorry for what klara?" Emma asked confused. "For klara to get free she has to say what her biggest burden is, what's keeping her stuck to that tree." Pan answered in my place.

I can feel everyone's eyes shift to me. "What did you do!?" I heard Regina's voice turn deeper. I choked on my own words as regina impatiently ran up to me, chocking me with one of her hands. I try to gasp for air, when once again I got saved by emma, snow and charming. "Let her talk!" Snow growls at Regina.

Before we waisted any more time I barged out: "I helped pan distract you!!!" I cried out. "I'm sorry! If I wouldn't have done that, Henry would have been in more danger." I sobbed through tears. I was scared of what everyone was going to think of me, that I didn't dare to look up.

"Are you telling me that, that little tantrum you pulled off was to distract us of our plan! Of us saving Henry!!!!" I never heard Regina's scream like this before, so naturally I winced at her loud, deep, angry voice. She sounded like she could kill me with only her harsh words.

Hook and charming held her back, so she wouldn't end me right there on the spot. "That isn't the only thing?" Snow spoke up, and i looked up at her as the rest stopped what they were doing. "There's more." She said simply as I thought deeply what it could be, but all I could think of in the moment was... I looked in pans direction as I spoke with all the hatred in me: "I regret ever meeting you."

My whole body shook from the anger I felt, as the vines let go of my body, my legs became weak and I fell to the ground. It seemed that my legs feel asleep or were numb from the pressure I was put on by the vines earlier or it must have been from standing still upwards for the whole day. Then all of a sudden I felt lightheaded and passed out.

Peter pans POV.:

"I regret ever meeting you." Klara said with all the anger through her gritted teeth. My heart sank, it hurt me deeply. 'I've fallen for a girl that hates my guts.' I thought to myself as I tried to act normal.

Klara was let go by the vines, so it meant that whatever she said was true, my heart stopped for a moment. Until a saw klara collapse to the floor, her body limp from the pressure of the vines, she passed out.

I watched as hook went to pick her up. I wanted to shout at him to not touch her, but I couldnt possibly let them know how I felt about her.

I was jealous, furious! I watched as hook walked away with klara in his hands, while the rest followed. "I hope you're proud of what you've done." Snow said to me before rejoining the group. I stood there in silence, feeling full of... REGRET.

To be continued...

#peterpanimagines #peterpan #peter pan imagine #peter pan #peter #fanficromance #fanfiction #fandom

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sunflowerheartwriting · 7 years

Text

Escape: 22

*sobs uncontrollably* This is the end! Thanks for reading my fellow Gajevy lovers! I hope to see you all soon! You can read the previous parts here on FF.net! Thanks again!! ^~^ <3

Beep….Beep….Beep…Beep. A rhythmic beeping noise, roused me from my sleep. Swallowing hard, my throat felt like I swallowed shards of glass and was as dry as the desert. Opening my eyes slowly, I tried to blink the grit from eyes as my vision blurred and took its time focusing. Looking down, I saw my left arm was in a sling and I was in a hospital hooked up to an IV and an EKG. The beeping….must be my heart beat….I’m not dead. The lights were dim and the blinds were closed but the sunlight still peered through the little slits casting a shadow of the blinds on the gray tiles in front of the window. Leaning forward, I flinched when I felt a surge of pain course through my middle. Moving my hand to where I was shot, I felt a tightly wrapped bandage secure a gauze in place.

“Don’t move around so carelessly,” A familiar voice said stepping from the dark corner and into the dim lighting in front of my bed. “Welcome back, Gajeel.” Makarov smiled as he walked closer with a water bottle in his hand, a straw sticking out the top.

Opening my mouth to speak, only grunts came out and I cringed in pain at dull pains that sparked in my throat.

“Take it easy. Drink this.” He said, putting the straw against my lips, urging me to drink. Draining the bottle, he continued to talk. “I know you have a lot of questions, so I’ll try to answer as many as I can. You’ve been out for almost week. That’s why you feel so weak, and also the fact you were rammed into a train cart. But I think you did more damage to it, then it did you.” He chuckled.

He tossed the bottle in the trash, taking a seat on the bed to finish. “You got a concussion and broken arm from the explosion. And the doctors found the bullet that was lodged in your abdomen. They said if Levy wasn’t there, you would’ve bled out before the paramedics came.” My eyes went wide in shock as the faint memory of her face came into view before I blacked out. Then panic sprung me to try to get up, to see if she was ok and if Rogue was ok. What about Cana? Is she ok, too?

Makarov, pushed me back down onto the bed and it was for the best. My limbs weren’t doing what I wanted, and were stringy and slowly coming back to live as I slowly tried to sit up.

“Calm down, I understand your panic, but everyone is fine.” He said, smiling as I relaxed in relief. “Levy took off her shirt to stop the bleeding, and didn’t care that she was nearly half naked in front of everyone when the paramedics came to get you. Gray, gave her his shirt and tried to take her with him but she was persistent and refused to leave your side. She nearly persuaded her way into the operating room but wasn’t granted access. Rogue and Levy, never left your side after you were out of surgery. I talked them into taking showers and getting a change of clothes, because Rogue still had old dirty clothes on, and Ley had dried blood all over her. She’s basically been living here, her and Rogue watching over you, waiting for you to wake up.”

“W-where…a-“ I groaned out, but Makarov knew what I was asking, interrupting me so I wouldn’t have to strain my voice.

“They went to drop off their dirty clothes and collect new clothes to wear. They’ve been sleeping beside you, even though the nurses, scold her every day about it.” He chuckled to himself.

I couldn’t help but smile too, thinking of Levy defying the nurses and doctors wishes to sleep by his side. His heart swelled with pride and love, he couldn’t help but smile even wider.

“Cana’s safe too, her dad is Gildarts as you know by now. One of our best guys, probably our only best. He’s the one we send on extremely important missions. His stealth and influence is great. So, when he heard about José and Jackal taking Cana, all hell broke loose. And lets just say….. José and Jackal will no longer be a problem in the future,” he said with a cloud of darkness in his eyes. I wanted to ask what exactly happened, but I knew I would be better off not knowing. “And don’t worry about your reputation, everything has been cleared out. You are no longer a criminal on the run.”

“Thanks,” I grunted out with a crooked smile. I watched the small old man, look at the floor for few seconds, before looking back at me with conflicting eyes that made me hesitate.

“You know, I’m still upset that Levy was there in the first place and in possible harms way, but knowing her…..she wasnt going to let you go by yourself, huh?” he said, smiling as I nodded in agreement. “Do you remember the talk we had before I left?” He asked and I nodded my head again. He reached into his pocket pulling out a small red box. Openng it, he revealed a sparkling diamond ring, set in a prestine gold band. “This is to confirm that I actually give you two my blessing. I always thought I wouldn’t approve of anyone she brought home, but im glad it was you. And you know what I would do if you ever broke her heart. You almost did that day. She was sobbing so hard, I’ve never seen her cry so hard even when she was a child. If you died, I wouldve brought you back to life just to thrash you and put you back in the ground for hurting her.” He said with a sly smile, making a rough chuckle erupt from my throat the dull pain coming back for a few seconds. “I’ll officially be your gramps and Rogue’s too and that makes me happy. Obviously I cant give you the ring now, but when you’re done recovering, come to my office and you’ll get then along with your new position.”

I quirked a curious eyebrow at him but he brushed my questioning stare to the side saying, “The doctors said, you’ll probably need a month to recover. That’s faster than most people but you’re a fit and healthy man, so it wont take long. But I’m giving you two months. Levy alreay has your stuff and Rogue’s stuff in her place, so you’ll be with her during your recovery. I gave her that special mission when you got out of surgery.”

“Thanks……Gramps.” I grunted out with a smirk. Thankful my voice was quickly coming back to life.

“Grandpa! I’m back, we got you food if you-GAJEEL!” Levy spoke as she entered the hospital room with an arm full of food blocking her vision. She cried out my name when she sat it down on the counter. Makarov quickly got off the bed to let her and Rogue climb on to hug me tightly.

“Daddy! You’re awake!” Rogue beemed with excitement as he scrambled to get onto the bed to snuggle the other side of me. I pulled them both in, ignoring my pain just so I could inhale the scent of Levy’s shampoo and the smell of greasy fries I know Rogue ate on his way here.

I kissed them both, squeezing them tighter against me. Looking up, I saw Makarov smile at me, mouthing, ‘I’ll see you in two months,’ before grabing his food and leaving.

For the rest of that day and then on, they refused to leave my side. Their bright smiles, nursing me back to health.

------------------------

2 YEARS LATER

Taking a usual route home, I sighed in relief, knowing that I was able to get off of work in time to join in the festistivities. Thanks to Makarov, and our incident two years ago with José and Jackal, he was able to weed his way to the top, getting rid of the corruption. He took the head seat and gave me and Gildarts a place beside him. This gave us the advantage of having regular hours and being able to come home safe to our family every night. Well, almost every night. There were some nights we had to stay in the office just to fix a situation or figure out the best cause of action.

Turning into the driveway, I put my truck into park. Hopping out, I grabbed my suitcase from the floor on the passenger side.

“Welcome home,” a sweet voice rang out, causing my head to whip to the figure that was standing on the front porch. I watched with amuzement as Levy waddled off the porch and towards me. She had one hand placed on her back and the other on her swollen stomach.

Meeting her halfway, I bent down to kiss her. “I’m home. I missed you while I was gone.”

“We missed you too,” she smiled rubbing her belly, wincing at a pain that coursed through her.

“You sure you don’t want to go to the hospital. Your contractions are getting closer together.”

She hit my arm, her wedding ring glinting in the light as she swatted me. “I’m ok. The doctor also said, I could feel contractions for days before I actually go into labor.”

Crouching down to be eye level with her belly, I kissed her stomach. “Try not to give your momma much trouble, ok?” She laughed as I kissed her stomach. “You’re already double the trouble.”

“Yea, gramps, been calling them the terrible twosome, but hopefully the twins wont be that bad.” She giggled attempting to turn around, but I stopped her engulfing her in my arms. “What are you doing?”

“I request a little more love before our company take you away from me,” I said peppering her lips with kisses in between each word. I felt her melt against me as our lips moved together, the same spark tingling my spine.

“Eeeeewwww,” we heard two little voices say, causing us to break apart. Sting and Rogue stood side by side with the look of disgust on their faces.

“Your mom and dad are gross like my parents. They’re always kissing. BLEGH” Sting said making a face that made all of us laugh.

“You get used to it if you look away,” Rogue laughed. “Mom, can me and Sting get the ice cream now that dad is home?” Rogue asked looking up at Levy for permision.

Levy nodded her head and the boys erupted in joy, running back in the house to get the ice cream.

“We better get inside,” she said grabbing my hand, leading me in the house.

We walked through the house and right back outside to the back patio that I built a year ago, just for these such occasions. Lucy and Juvia were talking as they watched their babies play on a blanket surrounded by toys. Natsu was on the grill threatening to smack Gray as Gray questioned his grill master skills with every flip of burger and turn of hotdog. Erza and Cana were deep in a board game as Cana smiled wickedly a hand wrapped around a beer bottle.

“Yo! Gajeel! You hungry? I already got some meat done.” Natsu said with his usual boyish grin.

“Hmmm, I’m not sure if I’ll trust it. I think they’re raw.” Gray critqued poking one of the burgers with a fork, causing Natsu to barate him with insults.

“I’ll take one,” Gramps said behind me, loosening his tie as he stepped onto the patio. “Glad we could both make it,” he smiled up at me.

“Same here, I thought were going to be so late that we missed all the good food.” I chuckled.

We were ready to dig in, when Levy leaned over a chair clutching her stomach groaning in pain. Running to her side, I rubbed her back asking if she needed anything.

“I-I think they’re coming,” she groaned out right before her water broke.

“Battle stations everyone!!!” Cana yelled out as everyone went to overdrive. The fire was put out on the grill, the food was quickly put up and the kids were rounded up. With everyone getting in their cars, I carried Levy to my car, ready and nervous for the next part of our journey together.

Fin.

#Gajeel X Levy #gajevy #gajevy fanfic #fairy tail #fairy tail fanfiction #fairy tail fanfic #ftfanfic #ftfanfics #multigajevy #gajevy multific #escape #complete

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hotlinegoblingg · 7 years

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EPISODE 3: GROWTH AND ADVICE FT. @chiraq-rell

SPONSORED BY: WOMEN IN MEDIA GROUP

Hey everyone this is Hadiyah Hotline, and this is Hadiyah speaking. *chuckles* I'm here with up and coming Terrell. How you doing T?

Tarrell

I’m good cant complain, woke up breathing this morning

Hadiyah

Are you a religious person like that? That you thank the lord everyday and stuff? Happy Easter actually.

Tarrell

I wouldn't say I'm super religious but I do believe in god he has gotten me through some troubling times in my life, happy easter to you to Hadiyah

Hadiyah

-an old time phone ring- Oooo the hotline has rung. -chuckles- First question for you.... How do you balance between being a father and having time for your personal life?

Tarrell It was hard at first when I was younger raising him alone but he always comes first no matter what. It's easier when you have support his god mom Arian is great with him. Me and him do a lot together I just want him to be a good man you know teach him right from wrong but in my personal life I mostly get more free time at night when he is sleeping.

Hadiyah I didn't even know you had a son..how old is he? And what's something you think is super unique about him?

Tarrell My son is 7. He's a very outgoing kid I think the most unique thing about him is that he is a kid model

Hadiyah -chuckles- Last show I interviewed a guest he told me that his life changed because of his daughter. Did your son change up your lifestyle at all?

Tarrell Most definitely I had him when I was sixteen so it was a big shock for me. I couldn't run the streets like the rest of my friends so that was hard for me. A lot of people don't know that I smoked a lot and popped pills since the age 15 it's just what I was around I got addicted to the pills and it affected me, I couldn't do anything without them. When tj was born my father basically told me to quit cold turkey or he was kicking me so I had to suffer through withdrawal. My son saved my life

Hadiyah That's beautiful. I'm getting older but I honestly think that having a kid would have a similar outlook on my life. Like I'm a grandma but it's kinda like another source of life you know? -her phone rings again- Alright we got another question for you. You said you been in the studio so when is the track dropping?

Tarrell We don't have a definite date yet but it will be soon I'm thinking about releasing it when I go on tour so everyone go out buy your tickets and you might be in for a surprise you heard it here

Hadiyah Oooooh I love surprises. -chuckles- So what's your drive when it comes to your music? Like I know some rappers pay attention to their upbringing and stuff. I've listened to a few songs and you have this positivity going on.

Tarrell My music definitely reflects where I come from I grew up in a group home until I was 8 then I was adopted by my father. He was your norma middle class guy, I got into a fight at school when I was in the tenth grade and got suspended for ten days and during those ten days I made my first mixtape. It talked about drugs and street shit you know the normal rapper stuff but then it's like I had a revaluation about 2 years ago. Kids look up to rappers so instead of promoting the bad in life promote the good the positivity. I translated that from when I was 8 and adopted my life changed for the better. Now all I rap about are positive things because life can change in the blink of an eye. So my mixtape was mostly about the hard times I went through and my album is about positive shit which reflects after my adoption

Hadiyah Damn, that sounds like a lot on your plate. I always tell people that you never know where someone else is coming from. -fixes her hair over her shoulder- So before we start pulling into these next set of questions, I gotta ask...Are you single?

Tarrell -chuckles- isnt that the million dollar question but to answer your question I am off the market now

Hadiyah -chuckles- I just gotta ask for everyone listening. One listener asks, What catches your attention the most a woman's attitude or curves?

Tarrell Definitely a woman's attitude. I like feisty women so if she can't keep my attention no matter how curvaceous she is it's not gonna matter to me. But I will say curves is always a plus

Hadiyah This is like the looks or personality question. I don't know, I notice what someone looks like first then based off that I usually see if their personality fits. It's like a process for me. today

Tarrell Well of course looks always being you in first. If I see a female and she is attractive imma make my move but after that of she dull she gotta go

Hadiyah So personality wise how do you know that a girl is for you? Like you need your future girl to be what?

Tarrell Very smart, she has to be able to make me laugh, conversation can't be forced. I joke around a lot so that is a plus.

Hadiyah

So if she's a sensitive soul it's a dub basically? Noted. -laughs, looking at her phone as it rings another time- Ooo we got some advice giving time. You ready for this situation?

Tarrell Definitely a dub laughs yeah throw it at me

Hadiyah -clears her throat- I have a question for both of you. Me and this one nigga been fucking for a while now our situation like evolved into something more intimate now where we chill just to chill and he initiates cuddling. No sex involved. So how do I talk to him about being more than what we are without being a "what are we?" bitch?..... you can go first.

Tarrell Ok that's a difficult one because either way you flip it you gonna end up being that girl. No matter how you phrase it you kinda stuck unless you let him make the move. If he dragging his feet then he not trying to be with you. Ladies if a Nigga want you in a more romantic way you will know. I feel like a problem that occurs a lot is the female make the guy fee stuck

Hadiyah Why do guys feel stuck? If he's cuddling you and you guys hang out without having sex or sex coming up you can defiantly make it known that you like him. Doing that whole what are we thing will make niggas scared. Honestly don't put the pressure on him. Talk with him and be honest. Like communicate that you like him or throw out little jabs that you're feeling him on more than a platonic level.

Tarrell You don't want to hurt the girls feelings so we sometimes just give in

Hadiyah

Stop doing shit to keep people from feeling bad. Guys and Girls. Why should you give in cause you don't wanna hurt her? She's a grown women. If you don't want a relationship make that known. If you do want one let that known too.

Tarrell I feel you on that but when in the moment women get in their feelings sometimes and once that happens it's a wrap. I think everything should just be put out up front to avoid confusion

Hadiyah I don't agree, like don't baby a woman then wonder why she acts like a child.

Tarrell I completely agree with but on that but women also can't pressure a man for shit either I guess different scenarios cause for different responses

Hadiyah I get that. Don't pressure anyone. Have conversations like human beings.

Tarrell Definitely

Hadiyah -nods her head- Before we end this episode of Hadiyah Hotline, is there anyone you wanna shoutout?

Tarrell

I wanna shout out my son Tj and my beautiful girlfriend Storm

Hadiyah woah woah woah. So you are in fact taken?

Tarrell Yes I am

Hadiyah Alright girlies, you heard it here. Terrell got a girlfriend. -chuckles- This is Hadiyah hotline another episode and I'll see you next time!

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askmyboys · 3 years

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Anthony and Grayson

Warning before you read! TWs: nothing directly is mentioned but i will say there’s heavy undertones of some kinda physical abuse, death mentioned as well, alcohol mentions, panic/anxiety attack mentions, and tbh deep topics n bad shit in general so if any of this kinda stuff bothers you i don’t recommend reading bout em

The lads are NOT alright here :/

| Names: Anthony and Grayson

| Nicknames: Ant/Anth (there is a certain thing he could be called but, you might trigger something for him then but aha I’ll go ahead n drop what it was… ‘My precious little flower’) and for Grayson, they only have one nickname people could call them, its Gray ofc- but there was o n e particular person that called them Grays but now that brings up b a d memories and r e g r e t s :)

| Gender: Anthony goes by he/him and they/them! and Grayson just goes by he/him

| Ages: Both their ages are N/A

| Heights: Anthony is 5’3” and Grayson is 6’7”

| Species/Race: Anthony’s a human and technically Grayson is but he’s got superhuman powers, he- well, Gray would NEVER call himself a superhero again not after the horrible thing he did ...but I won’t spoil what that is yet

| Occupation: Anthony actually owns a flower shop in the Luxport City and Grayson is technically unemployed but trust me- in his days of superheroing he made a good enough amount to not worry.

| Hair Colors: Ant’s hair is an auburn color and it’s a very messy curly undercut and Grayson dyed his hair black and it’s a mess- more messy than Ant’s ever could be- its like he barely combs it (its curly but god its a r a t nest of hair)

| Eye Colors: Anth’s left eye is a light and soft brown color meanwhile the right eye is clouded over, he can’t see too much out of that eye so he usually wears an eyepatch with a sunflower for the design on it and Grayson’s eye color used to be a near legit Sparkling Sapphire Blue but now its just dull and ironically enough gray (he’s also got REALLY bad dark circles under his eyes as well as them being pretty damn bloodshot like he barely sleeps anymore)

| Skin Colors/Body Types: Ant is extremely pale- like GHOSTLY pale actually, he looks fucking d e a d in that regard- he’s also pretty skinny too- not to the point where it looks like its harmful but he’s just a skinny lad- and Grayson’s pale too but not AS bad as Ant is and his body type is fairly average- no muscular body or anything really, just, average.

| Appearances: Before I get into details, Ant doesn’t really have a circle beard while Grayson does- alrighty- so let’s start off with good ol’ Anthony! He wears a long sleeved yellow and white striped sweater along with yellow pajama pants that have MANY flower designs over it, he wears blue jean overalls with a Coreopsis flower design on the pocket in the middle, he also wears light up yellow and white sneakers with flower designs all over it as well, he has a good few scars but most of them are covered by his clothes BUT…

There are two special markings that always seems new- it never fades- it’s ALWAYS that god awful red color- One over his right eye and then one on the right side of his cheek, it's in the shape of a fist actually but Ant seems to have no memory of it whatsoever, he doesn’t even seem bothered by it- it doesn’t hurt him, hell- he doesn’t even know what the mark is anyways! So it doesn’t matter! If it doesn’t hurt him or cause him any trouble/health issues then it's whatever! Another thing he has, he has a bandaid over the bridge of his nose- ofc its yellow and has all kinds of flower designs on it and even though most of his other non prominent scars/markings are hidden by his clothing just for another smaller detail- he has a LOT of those bandaids over them actually, he likes the feeling of bandaids in general, it feels comforting to him.

| Personality: Grayson used to be pretty strict, righteous, stern, and all those fun things- He used to be everything a Hero SHOULD be both inside and out, and even though he was pretty strict and stern with a lot of things he still had an aura of sweetness, kindness, caring, and compassion to him, he used to be so protective of everyone- There wasn’t a mean bone in his body to be honest even if sometimes his strictness and stern attitude could make him seem a bit harsh- he tried not to be TOO bad, he really did actually- He never wanted anyone to be afraid of him and he still doesn’t- but now? His attitude has changed entirely, he’s not strict nor stern nor even righteous anymore- He’s not a fucking hero, don’t even DARE call him that anymore- Nobody but him knows what happened that night… As of now he’s MUCH more reserved and quiet, not caring about anything/anyone ESPECIALLY not himself, he doesn’t even take good care of himself anymore, he’s very obviously depressed, anxious like ALL the time, hasn’t slept good in god knows how long.

He looks like he’s even haunted by something actually, he hardly EVER leaves his own home or well- might as well call it a Lair, and call him a Villain at this point- He fucking HATES himself entirely inside and outside and wishes he could just disappear and not exist anymore, he hates that people still remember him being a Hero, even though he hasn’t done anything heroic in a long time- The people still thank him, they still love him, and he h a t e s it- he wishes they’d hate HIM too… He has a pretty bad drinking problem as well too, drinking is the only way he can get to sleep at night anymore, it’s either that or on the WORST of nights he needs something like Melatonin to help him pass out, crying himself to sleep never helps anymore he’s worn that out- People do still worry about him too- but he always tells them it's nothing to worry themselves about (the reason people still love n cherish him, he did specify he was retiring and there are other heroes out there to defend them, they won’t hold no ill will against him ...Well, unless they find out his dirty little secrets eheh…)

Finally, Grayson can be VERY defensive and hostile sounding toward certain topics, if certain words are mentioned, etc- but only hostile with words/empty threats, he’ll never raise his fist again unless it’s toward himself… it's best to just leave him alone ...and let him r o t…

Now onto Anthony! Anthony was and always will be a sweet summer child (he is an adult tho, they both are I’m just piss poor at Math and cant figure out proper ages n dumb shit) he’s got a heart of pure gold, he’s caring, kind, as sweet as can be, loving, and childish- now his childish nature can be both a pro and a con (must’ve been a con for Grays then h u h? ...Oops, I'm saying too much now but at this point I’m fairly certain you can piece together that they're tied in with each other somehow) his naivety and gullibleness can get him into serious trouble if he’s not careful… Ant hates it when someone gets angry at him or yells at him he starts going into a panic but that’s not what REALLY gets a panic/anxiety attack going for him, now if somebody raised their fist at him that’s when he literally screams bloody murder and he’ll probs trip and fall back into the nearest corner he can he’s NEVER a loud person, always soft spoken and so kind sounding but in this situation he’s screaming so loudly- screaming apologies and a name he doesn’t even know (he doesn’t know a person named that particular name! Or maybe its just his memory but i’ll get to that in a second)

He’ll scream and scream until his throat gets so raw and sore or his voice LITERALLY gives out on him and even then at that point he’ll probably faint, beforehand though- if he hasn’t fainted- (even if his voice winds up giving out) he’ll start flailing if the person who raised their fist at him starts coming closer, he’ll flail just to make sure he can keep them away- The next day though after he sleeps, he seems fine- he doesn’t even seem like he remembers that or anything that happened, maybe it’s him blocking it from his memory (lemme say, the lil accident that happened oh so long ago, he didn’t block it out himself, it was FORCED out of his head) he does seem to claim he has bad memory with certain things but he’s confident with his names and people he knows, he never forgets a face that comes into his life! (...or so he thinks) honestly? If you ask me personally, granted, I AM the creator of these boys- it’s best if he doesn’t EVER remember, with how he reacts to something as I stated back up there, god knows what’ll happen if he EVER gets that tossed back into his memory.

| Side Facts: Anthony’s a bit hard to really describe in the regards of life and death, it's like he’s in the mixture of both- except minus anything zombie like- no god awful smell of death, no decay on his body or anything exposed- just his skin being a deathly pale color but nobody seems to really question it- So I really can’t say he’s dead nor alive, he’s literally in the middle of both- He just doesn’t even know it, he’s just living normally really- Running his precious little flow- … His flower shop, he LOVES flowers- he always had back when, well- ya know- And before the accident happened as well- (I’ve decided I’m not explaining that in full detail yet, I really wanna write that story out actually, but uh anyone who ACTUALLY wants is free to theorize) Anthony loves all flowers really but if he had to pick, his top three favorites would be: The Bittersweet flower, Daisies, and finally ironically enough Forget-Me-Not flowers.

Working with flowers and everything plant wise in general really helps him feel at ease because even though I didn’t mention it, deep down he can get kinda stressed a lil easily, he does feel anxious a lot and he doesn’t even know why, sometimes anxiety just hits him like a brick but just gently running his fingers over a flower or plant seems to help keep him grounded.

He also loves music as well and he’ll sometimes sing to the plants and flowers, never for anybody else though- he’s too embarrassed to sing in front of anyone actual person, you know though, sometimes- even tho Ant can’t remember- sometimes he does feel something at the back of his mind, like there’s something important that he’s forgotten or forgetting- It’s why he sometimes writes his thoughts and certain things down but even then- Even when he’s done everything he wrote down, he still feels something but just doesn’t know what it is, and at this point he’s just learned to ignore it, whatever it is- surely if it was something THAT important he would have never forgotten in the first place.

I should also say Grayson doesn’t live in Luxport City anymore, ever since that one day he moved far away from there (so no, Gray n Ant have no contact and honestly, well- even tho Gray remembers Ant EXTREMELY well he doesn’t know he’s,, well… “alive” he doesn't know he’s walking around but it's for the best, these two should never come in contact with each other- god knows what’d happen) but now, Grayson- unlike Ant is HORRIBLY miserable likewise, he has nothing he does but sit in his den all day- he only goes out when ABSOLUTELY necessary- to buy some food or alcohol mostly, he doesn’t know why he buys himself food- he doesn’t deserve to eat anything- after all he DOES wanna rot away- his guilt and regret at this point is eating away at him- it’s probably going to be his downfall one day tbh.

Even though he does want everyone to hate him or something like that, he DOESN’T… necessarily want them finding out the horrible truth, he doesn’t necessarily want his secret to be exposed, he’s so scared of it being found out ...but ya know, that’s ONE good thing I can say about Gray here, he doesn’t keep trying to uphold a hero act, he doesn’t keep trying to be a hero- he coulda just went on and continued trying to be righteous and teach right from wrongs, etc- He coulda kept being a Hero but he hasn’t, and he fucking hates that word being used to describe himself, so that’s one nice thing and the only nice thing I can say about him.

#my ocs #original characters #Anthony and Grayson #superhero oc #or well i should say former superhero oc :]

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hanginbyathreadd · 6 years

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fucktoday.

i woke up today, still in a funk. i cant stand it. i don’t want to feel this anymore. i literally feel like someone is pushing down on my throat. sadly, this feeling is better than my normal anxiety attacks where its just pressure on my chest.

you defeat the purpose of my medication. i kid you not. it helps out with the normal day stuff, but not you. you will always trigger it. at first it was nothing. but really became an issue after the fight.

i haven’t been the same since that weekend. some nights i can get rest. other nights i have insomnia. sometimes i binge eat and other times am strict. sometimes ‘i’m hungry and can notice too from my stomach. but don’t have the appetite to eat. all i drink is coffee. i have to remind myself to drink water. i have beers here and there. but haven’t really.

i know i’m dehydrated. was before early october. ended up in the er that night with barely any rest. just needed some antibiotics and i was off on my way.

everyone says it gets easier. they also say to just stop everything i ever experienced, thought, or felt with you. like that can easily disappear from me like that? yeah right. get the fuck outta here.

i’m afraid. i really did love you. i just never knew how much til now. i never wanted to lose you. or have it end the way it did. i wish i could have gotten my closure. maybe that would of helped.

i’m still trying to see my life without you, but i can’t. i cried myself to sleep last weekend. the miscarriage just really hit me. i do apologize the shitty way i told you.

next month is the one year when it happened. i’m pretty sure it was that one night in december, a saturday. (sorry i really good memory) it was the weekend the new star wars movie came out. it was when alec told me you were coming up and i didn’t know. i told you to call me and you did right away. i cried to you. we talked and were good.

i saw you at nestor’s pig roast/bon fire. we dropped your truck off at jason’s shitty house. you shouldn’t have drove, but you did. we dropped off your truck and you hopped in my car. not even one minute in the car, you turned over and started talking. you had gotten me so horny, so quickly. i was waiting to explode. i was about to pull the car over from when you were fingering me. you couldn’t believe how wet i was already. i just smiled. you could always turn me on from the slightest touch. it was a killer everytime we were in bed.

so we make it into the house. well barely. made it to my room. i won’t go into full details, but that night it wasn’t sex, it was love. i remember how passionate you were kissing me from my ears down my neck and onto the wonderful nickname you had given me.

we were lucky alot that one night.

it was around new years. i was working one of my last shifts ( or so i thought). i remember i was behind the bar and out of the middle of no where my boobs were killing me. it resided eventually. they hurt through the time i had spent with you into the new year.

i got drunk on new years eve. the last thing i remember was placing my head in your lap to sleep. i had never felt like that for so long. i was nauseas eating our breakfast, and even later on at chillis. i remember lying next to you in the bed freezing our butts off and my boobs ached.

we went to south beach to drop off some of your stuff at your new apartment. we had lunch at bodega. i got sick a few times i ate my food. on the way out heading back to kendall’s i almost asked you to pull over. i thought i was going to throw up. luckily i didn’t.

at this point i was starting to think/realize what was happening. i didn’t want to freak out with the little bit of time left with you. i was about to start nursing school and had known it was going to be intense.

you flew me home. the next day i went to universal with kelly. i drove. we went on one ride and i was like ehh. went on another and was sick. i might have only gone on 3 rides if that. it was still cold.

we had dinner there at some nbc restaurant. i was sick after eating. i had to run to the bathroom. at that point i really knew. there’s no way i would still feel nauseas from a ride 4 hours later. i was sick most of the car ride. i had almost asked kelly to drive, but felt like i would feel worse in the passengers seat.

shortly later i had lost it. the cramps weren’t nice. it literally felt as if i did a hard workout.

i never told you cause i was scared. i never had this situation before. my mom didn’t even know until a few weeks after the break up.

i shoved my emotions underneath the rug. no one knew. and i played as if it never had happened.

but now i wish i hadn’t. i saw a post saturday night and it triggered me back to this memory of the short time that i was. i wish i had spoken to you about this before. its not fun to deal with this emotion. if you did too, i’m sorry. it would have been easier with you than on my own. no one can relate to me right now.

i rambled on too much. i need to take a break. i really do. i have to try to get up and moving. do my workout and get the potatoes done for thanksgiving dinner.

it sucks to be missing you when you probably aren’t missing me.

i’m trying. trust me.

it’s not easy.

you fucked me up real good.

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thedietian · 7 years

Text

Candida Treatment Solution – Candida Crusher – Permanent Yeast Infection Solution

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it is destroying my home, my family and my pets

Uncomfortable, disturbing, feeling dirty , uneasy….in severe days, feel like dying. But is only when you hv this very frust n disturbing I will just says dying is better but I won’t take my life. Just a saying. Doc im here to get rid of this problem.

It hurts soo bad. I want to cry.

No one understands or believe I’m sick

The overall ill feeling and when doctors can’t find something wrong with me and think it’s in my head is driving me totally crazy.

I can’t find anything that will make my symptoms go away. I’ve tried diet changes, supplements, biofeedback, acupuncture, and anything else I hear about.

Can not wear certain things, burning when urination, itchy, swelling, and the discharge including smell bf is tired of me.

Cannot sleep,bloated tummy,weight gain,itchy body,skin rash on face, always constipated and tired, always feeling sick and have no confidence in any thing or at anytime. having white coating on the tongue with black pigmennt on the sides. smelly disc

I can’t have sex and it makes me feel awful mentally and physically,

I cannot have a healthy sexual relationship with my boyfriend. I am always self conscious.

I constantly have a nasty smell under me. Sometimes when its hot I start to feel a mucky substance down there.

wear my hair over my ears so people can’t see my flakey, red, blotchy outer ears… only my son cuts my hair… always itchy… have edema in my legs that never goes down now… bloated stomach… can’t lose weight i am here to seek your help.

A severe fatigue, weak muscles, lack of coordination, dizziness, diahhear, GI distress, anorxia. lowe grade temperature elevations on a frequent basis and basically just feeling weak and tired all owver, help pls.

Aggrevated by, Interferes with and causes discomfort during sexual activity Digestive problems Chronic presence, nothing helped me

Being so uncomfortable and the fact that there is no physical home test and no permanent cure for this infection

I have heard tens and thousands of these complains and how candida can totally RUIN ONES LIFE and brings HAVOC.

I have been asked by many people, how did it all start, why did you spend so much time writing such a comprehensive book on treatment of candida yeast infections? It all started with my own personal experience of developing a severe yeast infection in 1985, and taking approximately one and a half years to get my health back. I was in constant pain due to persistent itch, brain fog, bloating, gas, fatigue, and feeling unwell all the time. My GF left me, I lost my job and I was told by doctor to see a psychologist because I was losing myself.

I could remember days when I just couldn’t sit next to my girlfriend due to constant bloating, gas and itch around my skin. It was driving me nuts. Every time I would sit next to someone the gas/bloating would start and I had to just get somewhere quiet to let the gas go. There was no relief just constant pain. Symptoms vary from person to person but for most of us (men) itching in the private part/skin, bloating, gas, feeling unwell and tired all the time is a major sign of candida yeast infection. And it’s not just me or you who was/is going through all this read these complaints from my candida patients:

chronic stomach pain, not being able to eat anything at all without out feeling full after just a few bits and severe constant pain in upper abdomen.

constant headaches and distant very agitated all the time and angry

Constant itching in my ears, causing me to scratch my ear canals in my sleep

Constant tiredness and joint pain; intense stomach pain followed by days of sore throat; acidy feeling through whole digestive system from throat to urinary tract, etc..

Difficulties when urinating,after urinating I still feel like I want to urinate.

dizziness and fatigue all the time – restless in the middle of night, waking up 2-3 times a night weird sudden little pains in wrist area, legs feeling heavy – dry mouth w/white tongue residue, gum and right ear ache – right nostril always congested

everytime i have sex i get a bladder infection, the pain,swellings ontop of my vagina and my vulva the frustrations of itching and leaking and the worries of transferring it to my partner

Feeling drained and tired throughout. The fact that it reoccurs and doctors keep saying its staph.

Fuzzy/dizziness, blurring of eye vision , unexplainable pains in my joints, 80% of the time no energy, feeling depress for no reason, constipation, dry mouth, right ear ache – right nose nostril always stays congested, wake up from sleep as least 2-3

Having numerous symptoms which I am sure are linked but when I go to the doctor they sound mild and are not taken seriously, but as a whole I feel very under-the-weather and unwell.

Back to my story, I found no satisfaction when it came asking for help from my doctor, and my naturopath could not offer much assistance either, apart from a very basic low-carbohydrate diet and a few supplements. It took me eighteen months to get well by myself after studying and carefully applying the principles that were popular at the time, from Dr. William Crook and Dr. Orion Truss.

In addition, I grew up witnessing my father experiencing a chronic yeast infection spanning more than twenty years; he was addicted to bread and sweet foods; lived a high stress lifestyle and took many antibiotics and various other drugs for his ailments, most of which were stress induced. Dad spent countless thousands of dollars with gastroenterologists who could find “no cause” for his continual ill health. He was not interested in looking for the cause, nor interested in natural medicine, and the symptomatic treatments his doctors offered only included more drugs that ensured his candida remained rampant. Not one doctor ever mentioned diet or lifestyle factors, let alone acknowledged that he even had a yeast-related problem. This taught me early on of the importance of establishing and dealing with the exciting or initiating cause (antibiotics and high stress lifestyle) and in addition to identify and deal with the maintaining causes (diet, drugs and a continuing high stress lifestyle) if I was going to help my patients fully recover. Here are more complaints any of these sound familiar?

I feel excessively tired. I get hungry shortly after meals. I have recurring health problems that the doctors find no results for.

i feel itchy in and around vagina and white liquid comes out.the liquid has a quite bad smell.i want to rub hard around and on my vagina.

I get them frequently and have for years whether I’m sexually active or not and I don’t know what else to do to prevent them. It takes longer to get rid of them and no doctor can tell me why I get them.

i hate feeling yuck every day an not having much energy to do things

I have them so often and it hurts to have sex with my husband

I just want it to go as soon as possible. I dislike not being perfectly okay.

I seem to never get rid of what I believe to be vaginal bacterial infections. It affects my husband and I’s sex life because it is extremely irritated down there frequently, and I almost always get a UTI after we have sex. I’ve tried all sorts of stuff

Im so uncomfortable, I cant wear underwear cuz they make feel wet or sticky my people skills are horrible because Im so insecure that someone notice how figity I am due my discomfort. Sometimes I cant even wear my regular jeans bcuz they rub me wrong

It’s unbelievably itchy and irritant to walk or run and even being still I can feel the need to itch or stinging feeling

itchiness all over my body (back of neck, thighs, butt, arms, etc). after scratching, i’m left with large welts. it looks like i was whipped.

itching all day even when working, hard to focus, embarassing, distracting

Itching and burning, not being in a normal every day condition.

I began giving advice about candida related health problems more than 25 years ago when I was a student of naturopathy and soon specialized in yeast infections the moment I began to see patients in the early 1990’s. Once people knew I had an interest in yeast infections, I was beginning to see an increasing amount of people with all kinds of acute and chronic yeast-related health problems. After many initial years of only having partial success with candida, I began to feel a sense of frustration because I didn’t want my patients to experience the same level of frustration, anxiety and depression I did when I visited doctors and my naturopath when I had chronic candida, and for them to experience only partial results, relapsing back into a chronic state time and again with little hope of one day experiencing a full recovery.

My desire over the years was to develop a simple yet highly effective yeast infection treatment plan, a permanent yeast solution. This set me on the path that has finally culminated in Candida Crusher today. I initially started to learn by clinical research as well as trialing the many established yeast infection treatment methods, and by sheer trial and error over a prolonged period of time I slowly but surely began to develop my own methods. And today people consult me from over thirty different countries with all manner of yeast infections.

But how did I get this knowledge? My patients have been my best teachers, and by remaining in clinic for more than twenty years and specializing in yeast infections you soon learn from experience what works and what doesn’t and begin to fine tune a program based on these collective experiences.

In addition to my clinical experiences, there has been much time invested with many health-care professionals, taking into account their clinical experiences, looking at the methods they found most helpful when treating yeast infections. Every practitioner has his or her own professional experience to share and it is the combination of these many shared and accumulated experiences from both patient treatments and practitioner relationships that I have distilled into Candida Crusher, hard earned knowledge from which I hope you will gain valuable insights into your own yeast-related health concerns.

lack of concentration, drowsiness, mental health problems, acne, bad taste in the mouth, coated tongue, sore throat in the morning, athlete’s foot between the toes

My biggest frustration when suffering from yeast infection is the rubbing of my underwear its irritating and there are stains on all of my underwears.

My itching vulva while trying to sleep. I have tested positive for candida parapsilosis and have been battling candida for over 15 years. I eat healthy, use garlic, p robotics and herbs and still can’t seem to eradicate this yeast. It is flucanazole that caused all this i think.

My stomach always hurting me. It gets very bloated & sore to touch. I get lots of gas & pain. I don’t enjoy food anymore & always feel tired after eating.

My symptoms mainly were burning tongue, psoriasis of the hands, and face and around my eyes, which would water and burn and itch in that order…resulting in a fine rash under my eyes. Intense itching in my groin area (externally). I have had a lot more help me.

My vagina is very Itchy and sometimes burning when I urinate. I have a discharge sometimes is looks yellow and other times it looks like cottage cheese.

Not being able to have sex and suffering from a yeast infection almost everyday!!!!

Not knowing how to fix the problems and having so many days where my stomach hurts to the point where I just want to stay in bed.

Overall feeling so very CRAPPY…Yucky; and no enthusiasim about much of anything.

Let me show you how it is possible to not only overcome these symptoms but also how to treat your chronic yeast infection, and also how and more importantly why a candida yeast infection can literally ruin your chances of having a happy life, or the life of your partner or child and why you need to do something about it TODAY!

I’ll also explain why yeast infections are so difficult to eradicate, and the secrets to getting well and help you find a permanent solution to your yeast infection.

If you find yourself reading this page, then you may well be trying to self-diagnose if you have a yeast infection, or are suffering with a candida overgrowth right now, suffering from a condition that can be fully resolved. There are some easy and highly effective ways for you to get well completely and recover entirely from a Candida yeast infection, and chances are that you have come to this page to find that solution. You have come to the right page in that case!

Perhaps you are a person who has only recently figured out that he or she has a yeast infection? You will be able to click on many different links on this page and then be able to read the information you were looking for. Candida yeast infections are NOT like simple bacterial infections, it is not just a matter of taking a few pills like an antibiotic for a couple of days to knock-out this infection!

On the other hand, you could be a person who has been dealing with a yeast infection for some time and have taken probiotics or an antifungal supplement like garlic, oregano oil, grapefruit seed extract, SF 722, Syntol, Candeze, etc; only to discover you get partial relief, and become unwell time again down the track? It looks like you are looking for an effective and quick solution! There are plenty of options on this page too.

Maybe you are one of those people who has been suffering with a chronic yeast infection for many years and have tried every trick in the book to get rid of it. You may have spent thousands of dollars like so many patients I have seen over the years. But what is even worse than wasting all this money; the fact that you are wasting your life and ruining any chances of a happy life by not curing your yeast infection.

persistent mucous coughing poor memory tiredness sensitivity to chenicals cravings

prescriptions I have received should have indicated for no longer than 2 weeks. I was not aware of the steroids in the medicine. Due to improper instructions certain areas my skin has become extremely thin and sensitive.

Reduced enjoyment and frequency of intercourse due to itching and burning

Roller coaster of feelings; anxiety, tiredness, moody, irritable, depression, just not feeling self.

Scrotum…groin area itch..get rashly..then better..then starts over

sense of having lost libido/general lack of energy/strength/endurance/

Severe bloating. Look like I’m pregnant.

severe itching making me uncomfortable,unable to feel free

sore most of the time not finding help im sick and tired of having no quality of life i have had candida for 20 some yrs i will be eternally grateful if you help me.

That can I never be the same or happy….I’m always worried what people will smell and think i am some dirty women.

The anxiety/depression, headaches, slight chest pains, intrusive thoughts. I have tried everything to get rid of this infection nothing has worked.

The embarrassment of telling someone you’ve just started dating that you have problems down there.

The fact that my gut is always bloated out and I am constantly constipated no matter what I eat.

The feeling of being unable to accomplish anything because I can’t concentrate, stay focused or remember anything. I’ve had to give up my job and try to find my own answers to my severe health problems because the doctors I’ve visited don’t know

the frustration of not gettng rid of it and the uncomfortable feeling it gives you which turns your normal life into hell.

The itching and burning, have had chronic vaginal yeast infections before and everything I tried didn’t work to get rid of it until I bleached all of my underwear and completed an oral treatment and topical vaginal treatment at the same time which worked for a while and then it came back.

The itching is the biggest frustration. Along with not feeling like myself. Tired, irritable, moody, just an overall feeling of un wellness.

The itching. It’s almost unbearable at times. Also, the discharge is kind of gross and I always have to wear a panty liner.

The numerous food allergies that make eating a healthy diet very challenging. Seems like I have only a handful of foods I can eat without feeling horrible. Also the lack of energy to get anything done.

The odor it gives off, the white stuff that comes out of my virgina, and the internal itching is at a level i want to just die its painful and embarassing.

The struggle to cure the problem. It usually takes at least six days for treatment to work, and there is no guarantee that the treatment I choose is the correct formula to treat it. This causes a major rift in my sex life antibiotics made it worst for me.

This has destroyed my sex life with my wife. She consistently treats but gets yeast infections. I am thinking its me because she get them EVERY time no matter how gentle I am. Found you online and why i am seeking your aide.

white tongue with dark pigment on sides, constipated,weight gain bigger tummy, tired. itchy skin and rash on face. no confidence and concentration , feeling sick and drained, foggy vision

The answer to all these questions: Candida Crusher – Permanent Yeast Infection Solution

The Candida Crusher Program will be of enormous benefit to all people who are sincere in their attempts in wanting a permanent solution to their yeast infection. But naturally, not everybody will achieve the same level of results, because an individual’s results and outcomes are dependent on many factors.

Candida Crusher took three years to complete after constant requests from many patients who have been eagerly waiting for my book on yeast infection treatment. I trust that you will find plenty of useful information in my book, and put the information to good use. Knowledge is important, but it is only when this knowledge is faithfully applied that it is of any true benefit, and I trust that those who purchase Candida Crusher faithfully apply this hard earned knowledge for their own benefit. Results are sure to come with those who are sincere, but there is ample information in Candida Crusher on what to do “if all else fails”.

Dr. Bakker’s book takes Candida treatment to the level it needs to be taken. It is a breakthrough book for this generation like Dr. William Crooks books were to the generation of the 1980s.

Leading Authority & Expert on Adrenal Fatigue

Dr. Bakker’s book is a well-researched, intelligent analysis of the problem of candida overgrowth, which is more common than realized. The recommendations for diagnosis and treatment are rational and clinically effective.

Dr. Mitchell A. Fleisher, M.D., D.Ht., D.A.B.F.M., Dc.A.B.C.T.

Author of Alternative DrMCare Natural Medical Self-Care Protocols

Dr. Bakker has assembled the authoritative volume on all things Cadidiasis. This remarkable resource offers a comprehensive holistic approach to treating the underlying causes of all forms of acute and chronic Candida infections. Candida Crusher doubles as both a valuable self-help book and a serious professional guide that has something to offer for all families and health care practitioners. I highly recommend it to people suffering from candida yeast infections.

Author of Green Medicine: Challenging the Assumptions of Conventional Health Care & Writer at HuffingtonPost

Note! – Check what’s inside candida crusher candida treatment book. CLICK HERE to check inside the book.

Hi Eric, Thank you for helping me with a problem which has been causing me grief for many years – my toenails. Ever since I can remember I have had awfully smelly toes. I have tried every lotion and potion I could find and thanks to your Candida Crusher program can now say that I can finally believe that soon I will be free from athlete’s foot. Look at the improvement! You asked me for a photo so here it is. I can recommend your services to anyone who has tried everything else. And Eric, don’t hesitate to catch up with me when you come to Brisbane next. Regards, Gary Nulfield, Brisbane, Australia (Picture Hidden for Privacy Reasons)

Athlete’s Foot – Cured Hi Eric, I just wanted to share with you how happy I am to finally be able to see healthy toenails after more than 30 years of awful, terrible athlete’s feet and discoloured and terrible misshapen toenails. You did promise me that in time my toenails would grow out to be normal again, but I never ever believed that it would really happen! But the interesting this is that we didn’t really treat my feet, but my digestion which I cannot get over. My allergies have disappeared and my digestion is back to normal, all in the span of 6 months, I still can’t believe it, I am absolutely thrilled!! I wish you all the best with your candida book, your advice and information was certainly worth it for me. I just wish I could have gotten a copy, but you mentioned that you were almost finished writing it. Sheryl Livingstone, 48yrs, Sydney, Australia (Picture Hidden For Privacy Reasons)

“I now recommend your wonderful Candida Crusher program to everybody” Hi Eric, I want to personally thank you for the work you are doing by educating and helping people like me. For the last 5 months I have been following your Candida Crusher diet and lifestyle program and especially the stress recommendations. It took a good two months to really notice the results. My aches (including headaches) I used to experience in my neck and back have all but gone and so has the annoying rash in my groin region that I used to have. But the best thing of all is that my bloated belly and gas (which is still there but a fraction of what it used to be like) is all but gone! I now recommend your wonderful Candida Crusher program to everybody who complains of digestive problems especially, regardless of their type of digestive complaint. I once had no faith whatsoever in your type of medicine but can honestly say that your treatment worked for me and I know it can help others out there who have problems like I had. I live in England and next time I come to New Zealand want to come and visit you for a personal consultation, my daughter (who sent me a link to your yeast infection website) now lives in Auckland. Thank you for the time you spent with me over the past several months. Jack Allen, 62yrs, Orpington, London

“I’ve not only got rid of my yeast infection, I’ve lost 16 pounds!” Hello Eric, I am Karen aged 45, and yes, you can use my “story”, I hope it helps other people just like me out there overcome their yeast problems. I had been battling a candida infection for the past eight years at least. I came across your name and your candida program through my friend but had doubts as to whether you could help me, I honestly had tried just about every pill, product and treatment under the sun! But I’m glad I did, or I would have never gotten rid of this crippling condition. It took about four weeks to notice improvements and I must say I never experienced results like this with any other treatment or pill I tried. I can now save money on treatments and no more doctor visits or drugs like (which made me feel sick) or those messy creams I kept using with little results. BTW – I’ve not only lost my yeast infection, I’ve also lost nearly eight kilos (16 pounds) in weight! Thanks and God Bless! Karen Caruso, 45yrs, Brisbane, Australia (Picture Hidden For Privacy Reasons)

“Terrible Stomach Pains – All Gone” Dear Dr. Bakker, I visited your clinic in 2007 on a holiday to see my sister in your area with terrible stomach pains and very itchy skin. I craved sweet foods and as a chef found it really hard to stop eating sweet deserts. My health had been terrible for a quit a a few years, and all the doctors could do was keep on giving me antibiotics. Your Candida Crusher program was a true godsend and helped me within two weeks! I have now been free of digestive pains and have felt the best I have in many years, thank you so much for all your professional help and personal engagement, I really appreciate it. Kate Veenstra – Melbourne, Australia

My name is Olivia and I live in Auckland, NZ. I have been following your Candida Crusher Program. It was completely mind blowing, because I knew there was something wrong with me, but I just couldn’t explain what or even why! Everything you had written in your articles is exactly how I have been feeling for decades. After doing the different home ttests that you had suggested, it was definitely the confirmation I needed. Thank you for writing such a great series on candida articles! Regards, Olivia, Auckland, NZ

“A Passionate Health-Care Professional” Thanks very much for your time and the info. I always come out of talking to you feeling so much better, having all my questions answered – and providing so much more info on my candida and digestive issues as well. It is such a pleasure (and a relief!) to know you and to at last be in touch with a real, genuine, knowledgeable and passionate natural health ‘professional’ Lindsay, 55yrs, Wellington, NZ

“Thank you for helping me to solve your digestive problems” Hi Eric, Matt here, I can not thank you enough for helping me solve my digestion problems. I have had just over two weeks avoiding the foods I am not supposed to have and have started your Candida Crusher program and I feel great to say the least. My stomach no longer hurts, I have energy again and my mental health almost instantly switched back to normal and I have not suffered any depression since. I would like to organize a time to call you for a phone consult to make sure I am giving my body everything it needs and I would also like to discuss the bowel as I still have some bloating and still not forming solid stool. Matt, 27yrs, Gold Coast – Australia (Picture Hidden for Privacy Reasons)

The book is exactly 718 pages.

Candida Crusher costs what it does because it took just over three years to research and write, and is based on treating over 15,000 yeast infected patients spanning twenty-five years. Candida Crusher is quite possibly the most comprehensive self-help manual on yeast infections written to date. Unlike some books of its kind, it is not half-filled with recipes, but is packed with countless hints and tips not found anywhere else on yeast infection recovery.

Candida Crusher comes in a PDF format. Which can be read with Adobe Acrobat.

About 5 to 10 minutes. Once the payment is verified you will be redirected to our download page.

Of course you can! I have a sixty-days (60) refund policy, if you don’t like my book and can’t honestly see how it could change your life for the better, then please let us know within two months and we will refund your money in full. But do remember, if you are serious about finally beating your yeast infection and follow my program faithfully, it is highly likely that you will beat your yeast infection permanently. And isn’t that worth the small price you paid for a book that took me three years of writing and research, after treating over fifteen thousand patients spanning twenty-five years? Of course you can get a refund, but I doubt you will want your money back after seeing the real value you will get from Candida Crusher when you compare it to any other e-book on yeast infection you may have seen or have bought before.

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The website’s content and the product for sale is based upon the author’s opinion and is provided solely on an “AS IS” and “AS AVAILABLE” basis. You should do your own research and confirm the information with other sources when searching for information regarding health issues and always review the information carefully with your professional health care provider before using any of the protocols presented on this website and/or in the product sold here. Neither ClickBank nor the author are engaged in rendering medical or similar professional services or advice via this website or in the product, and the information provided is not intended to replace medical advice offered by a physician or other licensed healthcare provider. You should not construe ClickBank’s sale of this product as an endorsement by ClickBank of the views expressed herein, or any warranty or guarantee of any strategy, recommendation, treatment, action, or application of advice made by the author of the product.

No content on this site may be reused in any fashion without written permission of Dr. Bakker. The information and facts are intended to help and support, not replace, the relationship that exists between you and your doctor.

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