#also it's not like i want to watch the super bowl. my gf is just a big fan of usher and things got out of hand

[oldbutchdanielcraig]

i really want to write fanfiction but a bunch of people are going to be at my house

[ericscroptop]

Stupid In Love

✧ pairing: bf! eric x gf! reader

✦ genre: fluff

✧ warnings: suggestive, kissing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of drunk people and tipsy reader

✦ word count: 3k words

✧ synopsis: you’re in vegas during super bowl weekend with your boyfriend and nothing could be better.

✦ note: i know the super bowl passed already (the super bowl is barely mentioned here) but i randomly got this idea because i was listening to “stupid in love” by max ft. yunjin and i really wanted to write something inspired by that!

also, i really don’t know how to feel about this but i wanted to feed you guys with something while i plan other fics, and so i had this idea so i just had to get it out. plus, this eric looked very scrumptious and is my roman empire so i had to use that look for something <3

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The tastebuds on your tongue swell in satisfaction at how unapologetically sweet and creamy your cocktail is as you sip.

You bask in the atmosphere of the outdoor bar you currently are at with your boyfriend. Listening to the boisterous laughter and animated conversations of the drunk people surrounding.

Your gaze fixates on Eric while your fingers play with the straw of your Piña Colada, swirling the liquid around in the process.

He takes a sip from his glass filled with beer, jawline looking sharp and prominent as ever while he does so.

The corners of your mouth curve up into a sweet smile to match your drink from looking at your view.

Your mind thinks about how you’re the luckiest girl in the world to be having drinks with your beautiful boyfriend here in Vegas.

How fortunate you are to be doing something as casual as drinking at some random bar with the love of your life.

A laugh escapes from your mouth at your happy thoughts in disbelief of your current setting, and you look down at your drink, smiling like a fool.

You notice from your peripheral your boyfriend now eyeing you in amusement from your sudden laughter.

“What’s so funny? Did your drink tell you a joke?” Eric teases.

You shake your head as you continue to laugh, “I just think it’s crazy that i’m here in Vegas with you. You really didn’t have to do all this for me.”

Your eyes soften at Eric, your emotions beginning to heighten as you’re a bit tipsy from the drinks you’ve consumed tonight.

You two sit adjacent to another on a small table outside, sitting extra close together to be able to hear one another in the midst of the bustling bar.

And not to mention because you two are practically attached to the hip and can’t stand distance between you lovebirds.

He puts an arm around the back of your chair and responds, “It’s nothing, I always love spoiling you.”

You scoff and raise your brows at his downplay. “Eric, not everyone has the money to fly out to Vegas and pay thousands of dollars just to go watch the fucking Super Bowl.”

“Spoiling me is like getting me flowers and putting together a care basket for me. Not surprising me with tickets to one of the biggest events of the year that are almost impossible to get.”

He shakes his head and chuckles at your words and baffled expression while you’re still in shock that your boyfriend would fly you two to Vegas.

“You know money is never an issue for me.” his hand moves to rest on your shoulder, gently patting it before he continues. “Plus, i’ll do anything for you. I wanted to plan a Vegas trip with you anyways, so what better way than to come for the Super Bowl— even if we barely know shit about football,” your boyfriend grins.

With his other free hand, he goes to pick up his glass of beer, holding it in the air between you two. He raises his brows and nods his head to gesture at your own drink, giving you the signal that he wants to clink your glasses together.

Your lips curl upwards fondly once you get the hint and your dominant hand goes to pick up your glass and bring it towards his own, clinking them together while you both say ‘cheers.’

He winks at you as you each bring your respected drinks to your mouths, making you almost spill some of your cocktail from his flirtatious act and you playfully kick his foot from underneath the table. Eric stifles a laugh at your flustered self while he finishes his drink.

He licks his lips once he finishes his beer, and your eyes can’t help but land on his mouth, watching his wet tongue lick around the beer droplets from his pink lips.

Your body is starting to feel fuzzy and like you’re floating in air, already way buzzed from the couple of drinks you’ve already had throughout the night.

Eric looks extra delicious tonight, wearing a slightly loose, brown long-sleeve shirt. The sleeves were pulled 3 quarters of the way up and the first couple buttons remained undone— driving you absolutely mad at how your boyfriend had no respect for your sanity to be out in public looking so yummy.

His tan skin stood out so much more in the brown shirt. It also complimented well with his dark brown hair.

His hair was getting so long. You always went above and beyond to let him know how much you adored his long hair, and begged him to not even trim it because it suited him so much.

Dark black sunnies rested on the top of his head, even during the night, being the cherry on top of his overall look.

You mentally drooled over your boyfriend. Thinking about how you just want to kiss the golden skin of his neck and undo the remaining buttons of his shirt to—

“Would you ever get married in Vegas?”

You’re ripped away from your thirsting thoughts by said person you’re feening over.

Your lips part slightly and your head tilts at his question. Not really much in shock at his words, but more so because you were ripped away from your lustful daze and reminded where you were.

“Hmmm… I dunno. I know some people do it because it’s cheaper, easy, and fast, but I think I personally would prefer an actual ceremony. Planned out and stuff, you know?”

“What if you couldn’t wait? What if it was with someone you really loved? Like me?” Eric challenges you, tongue poking his cheek.

“Are you implying that we should get married in Vegas?” you reply as your brows lift in amusement at your boyfriend’s words. You catch your bottom lip with your teeth to bite back a laugh.

Eric shrugs his shoulders and flashes you a smile. “If you’d want that, then yes. I’d do anything for you.”

The laugh you were holding back lets free, and you shake your head at his words. “You’re so stupid.”

He lets out his own laughter, knowing that you’re joking. You two have been together as a couple for a few years now so you both are used to one another saying corny shit and mindless things— especially coming from Eric.

“Well, yeah. I’m in love with you. I’m practically waiting for you at the altar,” he singsongs, hand that was resting on your shoulder now finding home in your locks, playing with your strands of hair fondly.

You shift in your chair and your boyfriend’s hand falls while you bring your hand up to cup his jaw gently. The apples of your cheeks are prominent as you vibrantly smile while meeting his gaze.

“When you propose to me one day, then maybe i’ll walk down the isle to meet you,” your thumb sweetly strokes his cheek, and he hums in satisfaction at your words.

‘When’ not ‘if.’ His heart practically gushes at that.

“One day, baby. You just wait.”

Eric’s eyes are practically sparkling at yours and you feel the sudden reddening of your face— not from the alcohol, but from the love of your life.

You angle your face slightly away from him, hand that’s on his jaw going limp as you laugh in shyness.

Even after years of being together, he still manages to make you melt at his smooth talk and the butterflies never seemed to go away.

Eric smirks at how he’s managed to make you shy at his words. You’re the cutest person in the world, he thinks.

With your face still angled away, Eric leans over and presses a kiss to your cheek, letting his lips linger against your skin for a couple seconds longer than just a quick kiss.

A silent gasp leaves your mouth at his action, feeling your cheeks heat up even more now that he kissed you in public.

You never minded PDA as long as it wasn’t overdone, and Eric did show you affection regardless of where you were. But he had a tendency to catch you off guard and you could be a bit bashful when he would be openly affectionate— even if you should be used to it by now.

“Awe, my baby’s shy, isn’t she?” your boyfriend teases you, causing you to whine at him, feeling like you’re put on the spot.

“Do you get hard at fucking with me and watching me crumble at your words?” your thumb and index finger go to flick his forehead, but Eric is quick to stop you before you’re even close.

His hand grabs your wrist, and he pulls it carefully towards his mouth, giving it a light kiss.

“Basically, yeah.” he simply states with a half smile. Your eyes roll playfully at that. Of course.

“But in all seriousness, I find your reactions adorable more than anything.” his thumb begins to stroke your hand lovingly, your eyes mirroring his own in fondness.

“Let’s get out of here, yeah?” Eric whispers close enough to your ear, and you simply hum in response.

———————————————————————————

You guys paid your tab (Eric did) and left the bar shortly after.

You convinced him to walk around the Vegas streets for a while, wanting to be out for a bit longer and not return to your hotel just yet.

His arm is hooked closely around yours, insisting that he better have a hold on you since you had a decent amount of drinks tonight after sitting at the bar for a good bit of time.

You assured your boyfriend that you could handle yourself because it’s not like you’ve been going ham all night— you’ve been pacing yourself.

But you are a little warm, feel tingling and sensitivity in your teeth from the alcohol, and your vision is not 100% clear.

Eric knows you’re okay regardless of those side effects that will go away as you walk more since you’re only a bit tipsy, but he still holds onto you to keep you safe and protected.

You two walk on the sidewalk of some random street, passing by a variety of shops and a couple of people who are also just roaming around.

Your eyes wander curiously around the different buildings as you walk, eventually landing on a tattoo parlor that piques your interest.

“Hey look! You should get another tattoo.” Eric stops his tracks at your words and looks up at the place that caught your attention.

He chuckles at your words and rubs your arm up and down softly. “I wouldn’t want to cheat on my tattoo artist back in LA. I’m a loyal man.”

You giggle at that and sigh deeply, eyes still on the shop, “I want a tattoo, babe.”

Eric’s eyebrows raise at your words. “Like now?”

“If you dare me, I would.” you smile, leaning your head cutely against his shoulder.

“Well, when you’re fully sober and have time to plan it out, then you can get one.” he presses a kiss on the top of your head, humming as he inhales the scent of your shampoo and conditioner.

“I actually want to get a tramp stamp, you know?” you lift your head up and go to grab both his hands with your own, now holding them while you two stand facing one another.

“A tramp stamp? What’s that?” your boyfriend asks curiously.

“It’s a tattoo that goes on your lower back. Wouldn’t that be so cute?” you beam at Eric, dreaming about the possibility of having a tattoo like that and how cool you’d look.

Eric’s lips are parted as he looks at you, tongue wetting his lips while his mind tries to picture you with permanent ink decorating your lower back.

Your skin is currently a blank canvas, but you always loved how tattoos look on people’s skin and are unique to each person.

In particular, you always complimented Eric’s tattoos and encouraged him to get more. Most of his tattoos were on the smaller side and kinda dainty, and you admired how that was his style.

“I think i’d also want a tramp stamp because I could easily hide it. It would only be visible if I were to wear something like a crop top, or if I was in a bikini.” you say to your boyfriend.

“And what design would you wanna get?” Eric smiles at you as you let go of his hands and pull out your phone. Seems like you really are eager for one.

He looks down at your screen alongside you while you pull up Pinterest on your phone and search ‘tramp stamps.’ You stop at one of the first images to pop up and click on it, displaying a tramp stamp of a heart in the middle with cool designs on either side, all in black ink.

“Maybe something along the lines of this. I think words could be cute also, but I don’t know what I’d want— plus, what if people find it corny?” you laugh at your own words, and Eric joins in your laughter, unable to help himself whenever he hears it like it’s his favorite song.

“Hmm.” Eric presses his lips together, both of the ends curled while his pupils move upwards to the side mischievously. You can practically see the playful glimmer in his eyes. Oh boy.

“Why don’t you get ‘Eric’s wife?’ People will know you’re mine— and when we make love, I can pull out and cu—

“Dude!” You furrow your brows and lift a hand a couple inches away from his mouth, gesturing him to not even dare finish that sentence.

You anxiously look around to see if anyone was close enough to hear him. Thankfully, nobody was even paying you two any mind.

“Can you shut up? I know we’re adults but someone could’ve heard you.” you lightly scold him, trying to fight back a smile as you see the shit eating grin present on his face.

“C’mere and make me,” he nods his head at you, arms open as he gestures with both his hands to come into him.

You scoff at your boyfriend, though, you secretly love his behavior.

You huff out some air as you walk into his arms. Eric welcomes you into his embrace, his arms finding purchase in your hips.

Your arms hook around his neck, your eyes sparkling at Eric— probably from the street and building lights, but he can see the adoration you have for him through your orbs.

“I love you,” he whispers cutely, your heart skipping a beat as his eyes trail down to your lips.

You don’t reply with words. Instead, your dominant hand finds comfort in his hair and you gently push his head down to where he would meet your lips with his own.

Eric’s right hand moves to cup your jaw as he begins to kiss you.

Your lips brushed against one another’s delicately. It was gentle, not being rushed as you two had all the time in the world.

Eric’s lips still had a lingering taste of beer— Corona, if you remember correctly. You could taste the slight maltiness.

You lose yourself in how velvety and warm his lips feel in sync with yours. How his bottom lip is slightly more plump than his top, smiling when your lips gently sucked on it.

His left hand rubbed your hip, tracing circles over it, sending your body heat in every direction at his touch and contact.

His lips feel like home. And you wish you could be locked in them for the rest of your life without pause.

Unfortunately though, all good things must come to an end as you need a breath of fresh air every now and then.

And as of now, the good general public can interrupt you.

Your ears are suddenly filled with joyful cheering and whistling, resulting in each of your eyes opening wide, and lips retracting with a faint smacking sound.

You turn your body slightly and go to stand next to Eric, looking to see what’s the source of the commotion.

You two see a beautiful couple, both of which are in wedding dresses. One of them has a fit and flared silhouette, with a v neck-neckline. The other one wears a mini bridal dress, with puffed sleeves.

Their arms are linked together as they walk on the other side of the street from you two, gaining cheers of ‘congratulations’ and claps from people walking by.

Even people on your side of the street notice the couple, beginning to yell words of encouragement and applauding as they eventually give the crowd a show, kissing to display their love.

“They just got married! How sweet.” You swoon at the couple, you and Eric beginning to join everyone else in congratulating them by clapping your hands.

Eric looks over to you while your gaze is still fixated on the newly weds, smiling fondly at how lovely they looked together.

He wraps an arm around you and kisses your rosy cheek as you see a car pull up, the couple holding hands while they get into the vehicle— resulting in more rooting and cheering from the public.

His free hand falls into his pocket, feeling the ring box that he’s been carrying with him during the entirety of this trip, waiting for the right moment to ask you to be his wife for real.

This whole trip was an excuse to finally ask for your hand in marriage. Even though you think you guys came just for the Super Bowl, he has other plans to make the most out of this trip, in more ways than one.

Eric believes now isn’t the proper moment, seeing that a couple just had their own spotlight and the fact that you’ve had drinks tonight, and he wants you two to have a clear mind.

You guys still have more days in Vegas together, and he has other moments planned up his sleeve.

He’s been waiting for you to show him signs that you’re ready to be his officially, and even though deep inside he already knew you loved him beyond words, tonight washed away any worries and nerves he had about proposing.

He doesn’t want to think too much, cause’ he knows what his heart wants.

And he has a hunch that yours knows, too.

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[theebubblegumbitch]

i have been thirsting, extremely dehydrated beyond repair for the past three days now bc of Chad Meeks Martin. i beg of you, i need more content, he’s just.. so pretty.

hi hi so if it’s not too much to ask, perhaps could i request a fic where the reader is more so friends with Tara and Mindy since she’s a bit more shy and they invite reader over for the movie night and that’s when she meets Chad?? and he’s being his usual beautiful and charming self and she’s just overwhelmed and flustered

xtra brownie points if they give off bratz doll gf x himbo jock bf pls 🥺🫶🏽💞 i love your fics, your writing is inspiring tbh ahsjwjd

Girl's Night Interruptions~

Chad Meeks Martin x fem!reader

Request: ahhhhh you’re a GENIUS bunny!! I love this idea!! also i’m so happy to hear that my writing inspires you! ngl that almost made me cry- anyway I hope you love it gorg <333

Synopsis: At first you were reluctant, but when your two closest (and only) friends Tara and Mindy convince you to come to a movie night, you realize sometimes meeting new people is a good thing…

Warnings: none really since this is basically just fluff, use of profanity, Chad being an absolute himbo, reader being a flustered mess!

Series: Pt.1 , Pt.2

You weren't really sure why you agreed to this. You had told Mindy and Tara time and time again that you didn't really like the idea of parties, or gatherings, or anything of the such. It's not that you were super anti-social, you just- had problems starting conversation is all. Which is why the only friends you had made all of freshman year were Mindy and Tara, who were really good at easing you out of your tiny little comfort zone. Today that came in the form of convincing you to join them for a movie night. They promised it would be super chill and fun, the perfect girl's night to end the year off! So of course, you accepted.

You were now all about halfway through the first movie on the list, Legally Blonde, which was one of your favorites. All three of you quickly ran out of popcorn to share, prompting Mindy to get up to refill the bowl. "I'll be right back guys, pause it please!" Mindy had called out on her way to the kitchen. You were now left with just Tara, who quickly filled the silence by asking you questions. "Soooo how's your college love life been going so far? Had any steamy hookups?" She asked with a laugh as she nudged your arm. You felt your face get warm quick. "Cmon Tara, you know I don't like talking about that stuff." You said casually, not really mad at her for asking. "I know, I know, I was just curious." Just as Tara said that you heard Mindy walking back into the living room, and it sounded like she was talking to someone. "NO Chad, I already told you it's a girl's night. That means you can't join." Mindy had now taken her place sitting next to Tara again, leaving who you assumed was Chad standing in front of the couch.

Did Mindy have a brother? You didn't remember her ever mentioning him. "Cmon please, you know I'm not gonna bother y'all I just wanna watch the movie!" He was looking directly at Mindy as he gestured to the still paused TV, his request being promptly ignored. "You want to watch Legally Blonde? Really Chad?" Tara was questioning him, not fully believing his motive for joining the three of you. "Yes okay? It's one of my favorites I have like half of it memorized." Mindy scoffed at that, but from the look on her and Chad's faces you could tell it was probably true. "It's still a no Chad." He didn't seem to like that answer, continuing to practically plead Mindy to join in. "Ya know what fuck this, I'm watching it." And just like that he plopped down on the couch, right next to you. It was a fairly small couch and even just the three of you had barely any wiggle room, but with the addition of Chad you were definitely squeezed together. Chad didn't seem to mind though, quickly settling in and draping his arm over the back of the couch. Mindy, feeling defeated, grabbed the remote with a sigh as she accepted the crashing of girl's night.

"Fine, I guess you're staying..." She rolled her eyes at him, and he only grinned back. "Thanks, sis!" It was only now that he realized he was sitting next to a completely random girl as he raised his eyebrows at you. "OH I'm sorry, have we met before?" He asked, hoping the answer was no so he didn't have to be embarrassed. "Oh right, no you haven't. Chad this is our friend Y/N; Y/N, this is my idiot brother Chad!" Mindy quickly answered Chad's question, being sure to emphasize the word idiot. "Well thank you Mindy for that, charming- introduction, but I was asking Y/N, not you." He gestured to you as he said your name, now making direct eye contact with you. He was probably waiting for you to say something, considering you had been silent thus far. "O-oh yea I'm Y/N and uh Mindy never mentioned she had a brother." You stuttered out, hoping you didn't offend him in the process.

"Oh she didn't huh? Well now you know!" He said as he shot Mindy a glare and then you a grin. "Anyway it's lovely to meet you, and don't listen to Mindy about me being dumb okay? What I lack in brains, I make up for with Hobbs and Shaw here." Chad flexed each of his arms as he said that, and you now realized how attractive he was. Your felt your face get warm again, now hyper aware of how close the two of you were sitting. "Ah yes classic Chad, flex your muscles within the first five minutes of meeting a girl." Tara had said snarkily, perhaps hoping to annoy him into leaving the three of you be. "Hey they're my greatest accomplishment okay! Plus I'm sure she doesn't mind, do you?" Oh you definitely didn't mind. "N-No it's fine I don't mind." You were sure your voice sounded shaky as hell as you spoke. The longer this gorgeous man was next to you, the more flustered you got. So much for a peaceful girl's night...

Some time had passed as the four of you watched the movie in what was mostly silence, besides the occasional comment Chad had made on Elle Woods being a "girlboss" and Mindy having something snide to say in return. Their dynamic made you glad you were an only child. You had now reached the scene where Elle Woods figured out that it was actually the daughter who had killed her dad. You loved this scene, and you had the monologue memorized since you were a little girl. You quickly went to match Elle word for word. You didn't even notice that Chad had gotten excited about the scene too. "...at the risk of deactivating the amonium thyglocilate!" You had both said, or rather yelled it, at the TV in perfect unison. You saw Mindy and Tara's heads snap to the both of you in shock. "I guess he really does like the movie..." Tara said as she grabbed another handful of popcorn. "I told you it's one of my favorites!" Chad said before turning his eyes back to the screen. The shared moment between you two made you feel more at ease, so you went to agree with him.

"Yea it's mine too." You were still pretty soft spoken, but at least you had found some more confidence. You had also found hunger. "Hey Tara, can you pass me the popcorn." She swiftly handed it to you and you set in your lap, going to grab a handful. Just as your hand reached the inside of the bowl, you felt Chad's hand bump against yours as he also went to grab popcorn. It was brief, but his hands were so pretty and soft that you felt like you would remember those two seconds for the rest of your life. You were basically gawking down at the popcorn bowl now, hand still in it. "Oh, sorry." Chad said, muffled through his mouthful of popcorn. God he was so cute."Oh it's fine, don't worry about it." You said as quickly as possible, avoiding looking directly at him. He only shrugged as his attention went back to the movie. It was only silent for maybe ten minutes before Chad spoke again.

"Okay it is literally so hot in here. Is the AC broken or something?" Chad asked as he looked towards Mindy. "Yea it stopped working like two days ago, I have to call and have it fixed." Mindy replied, still not taking her eyes off of the movie. "Well it's like unbearable, I don't know how y'all are wearing jeans." He gestured towards you and Tara as he said that. You didn't realize it was hot, you probably thought it was just him. But to be fair you were wearing your favorite bell bottoms and your thin pink tank-top with a black star in the middle. So it wasn't a very warm outfit to begin with. While you were busy reflecting on your clothing choices Chad had found time to stand up in front of the couch. And now he was taking his shirt off...

You thought you were going to pass out. "Cmon seriously Chad! Do you have to find every excuse to take your shirt off?" Mindy yelled out at him. "What I'm hot okay! Leave me be." He sure was hot. Way too hot... You almost wished it was just you and him so- "Hey! You okay there? You were kinda staring off." Chad said as he waved his hands in front of your face. Oh shit. You were staring, and everyone had definitely noticed now... "Oh my god Y/N! Were you staring at Chad's abs?" Tara asked in an almost squeely voice. You wanted the ground to swallow you, mainly because she was right. "What no! I was staring at the movie!"

You rushed to defend yourself, hoping it was believable enough of an excuse. Chad wasn't buying it though. "It's okay if you were I totally get it, I would stare at me too." You were definitely blushing now. Mindy once again rolled her eyes at Chad's comment, causing them to exchange another death glare, which gave you time to change the topic. "Anyway, we should probably keep watching the movie." Chad jumped a little as you said that, realizing he was missing it and going to sit back down next to you. You now realized what Chad meant by it being hot. You only hoped you weren't sweating from the intense shared proximity.

The rest of the movie went well, although there was one moment where Chad went to adjust next to you, spreading his legs open just a little wider so that he was touching yours. You swore you almost passed out. Finally the credits rolled and Chad stood up to start clapping, it was kinda cute. "Wooooo great movie! Gets better every time!" Chad yelled as he turned to face the three of you. "Yea whatever Chad, you done bothering us now?" Mindy asked as she also stood up with now once again empty popcorn bowl in hand. "Yes in fact I am, I will leave you ladies to the rest of your girl's night." Chad said as he grabbed his shirt off of the coffee table. He went to walk back to his room before stopping to lock eyes with you. "And hopefully I'll see you again later Y/N." He said with a wink that hopefully Mindy and Tara didn't catch.

Oh yeah. You would definitely be seeing him again.

A/N: ahhhhhhh I love this one so much! i hope i did the prompt justice even though i struggled with the Bratz vibes thing. also i feel like i could totally turn this into a series if y'all wanted, just say the word! Happy reading my gorgeous babes!

-With love, Miss Grace<33

[panda-writes-kpop]

hello, I hope your having a wonderful day :) could i request billlie tsuki as your gf. I love the one you did for suhyeon^^

Tsuki as Your GF:

a/n: hope everyone has had a good week! I'm finally getting my first day off of school and work since the semester has started. *assorted crying noises* anygays, gonna cry over taxes tomorrow before watching usher perform at the Super Bowl... sounds like a good day to me!

tw: none!

♡ Masterlist ♡

- a cute disaster of a person - if she's going to do something with you, it has to be done with as much chaos and cuteness as possible.

- for example, you'll go with her to a new restaurant and she'll try a big bite of food... only to discover it's extremely spicy or sour

- she's making the cutest face at you that you've ever seen, and you're not sure if you should interfere or not because she's so adorable and funny.

- "Yah, why didn't you warn me that the food was so sour, babe?!?"

- she's an extrovert at heart, meaning that you two are either twin souls that love being around people all of the or you're two completely different people who adore each other regardless

- if you're an extrovert, you go on a lot of dates out in public or double dates with her/your friends. 

- if you're an introvert, you switch between her ideal date night and your ideal date night - you both get to do something that makes you feel comfortable sometimes, but you also have each other to rely on when you're feeling less comfortable 

- if you're a gamer, she loves to play video games with you! She likes FPS games, so she'll want to play those sorts of games above all.

- Tsuki is a natural model - she looks fabulous in every picture you take of her (your photo gallery is filled with her), and she tries (and ultimately fails) to give you tips on how to look just as good as she does.

- "Just a little to your left, babe... your other left, silly!”

[linzsaw]

My Monthly Favs What’s in my cup:

Every morning I drink iced coffee made from my one & only Nespresso machine. The past few months I can’t get enough of the double espresso blend, and then I add a bit of whole milk (happy cows only) and sweet cream. I can’t find anything better from Starbucks or anywhere else. Sometimes if I’m craving a hot drink, I’ll head to Dutch Bros for a hot Carmelizer and it is totally worth the cringy 9 minute forced convo with the DB crew. I also start my day with electrolytes, currently in the watermelon flavor. It’s surprisingly really delicious but I miss the Electrolyte Synergy blend that I was drinking for a long time, which has been sold out for almost a year now. :’)

What’s on my plate:

Dinner lately has been the laziest in America. After our trip, Drew & I either have the same ole chicken, rice and veggies, a spicy “mexican bowl” or some form of pasta, usually with Raos Arriabatta sauce. This week we’ve been stuffing our faces with Trader Joe’s frozen meals. We promise to be better next month, but we are really exhausted and the last thing we feel like planning are meals. However, for the last week of December we actually have some things planned for the holiday weekend. On Friday, we’re hitting up the town as we do every year to walk around and see the lights, and find festive little bars to try out new Christmas cocktails. We plan to spend Christmas with just the two of us. For Christmas Eve we are making our annual corn beef, cabbage and carrots because apparently we are super Irish (confirmed by 23&me which btw leaked all my genes to hackers). On Christmas we are having tri-tip, garlic & butter brussel sprouts, and mashed potatoes. The Christmas cookies we’re making this year include White Chocolate Cherry Shortbread cookies, Peanut Butter Blossoms, & Holly Leaves. Okay and now that I’ve told you all that, the Christmas cocktails we decided on this year are The Mistletoe Kiss (a vodka, soda water, rosemary & cranberry drank) and Bad Santa White Russians. I also heard that Moon X Pinot Noir from Trader Joes was really good and lately the Redvolution just isn’t doing it for me.  Let me know if you want any of these recipes, ladies. I will make sure to find GF, DF, and V options. 

What’s on my bookshelf:

I’ve finished two of the Colleen Hoover books, and now I’m reading another one of hers called Verity. It’s kinda depressing but that’s kinda the vibe as of late so I’m into it. 

What’s in my playlist:

We love the Sia Christmas album. It’s so fun and happy. Believe it or not, Andy introduced me to it lol. It’s so good!! Other songs I’ve been into are I remember everything by Zach Bryan and Kacey Musgraves. It reminds me of a family member rn which is very depressing to me. Fun to cry to. Bubble - STAYC, Surround Sound - JID 21 Savage, Baby Tate, Adora Hills - Doja Cat. 

What I’m up to:

Making our house into a winter wonderland of lights. Watching hella hallmark movies. Being seriously lazy, not working out or eating healthy. Walks with Snoop around the park. Mandala scratch off nightscapes. Reading at 3am when I was jetlagged. I had a sleep study this month too, no sleep apnea for me, back to mouth taping! It really does help with quality of sleep for me. You should try it! Also magnesium spray on my feet (shout out to Aly). This has helped with my restless leg syndrome that we’ve all experienced. This weekend, we’re making all our foods and cocktails, going downtown, driving around with hot choc to look at lights, and heading up to Rocky Mountain to hike a bunch of mountains. 

Skincare Saviors:

My skin gets so dry in Colorado, its TERRIBLE. And now that I’m saving for a house, I had to break up with my amazing esthetician, who by the way I stole this template from. I’m obsessed with Dermlogica thanks to her. I use a miscellar water if I wore any make-up. If not, I just double clease with my face wash. In the AM I’ll use my Rosehip Triple C+E Firming  Oil, followed by COSRX snail mucin essence, and a magical mix of calm water gel and intensive moisture balance. 

Love you long time,

Li

[dixiewishes]

12/11/2024

oh, dear, I've fallen behind. Again. Not shocking when you consider the circumstances. I can't recall where we left off. I need to remember to use this as a diary and not a novel. Things don't need to make sense to an outside reader. So the play has been amazing. Abrupt subject change, but I'm the author. Reclamation or whatever. I love my castmates, even if there's 300 of them. We went to Applebees on Saturday and it was an actual riot. A crew of 20 theater nerds roll up at 9pm to an applebees. I was with leah, julie, and... shit. I forgot. Ellie maybe? These tiny beings ordered one (1) appetizer plate to split. My fatass creamed that and a macaroni and tendies bowl. I laughed until I wept. I remember at Farrier Fun Day in the hottub, someone said one day I will find my tribe. I really felt like I have. The girls were funny, attentive, active listeners. I felt understood. I felt... loved. It was an experience. We also decided to write a play called COUNTY BUSINESS where it's us going into progressively more unhinged scenarios in the name of the great county. Ahh, we also bullied me for having the most epic line blunder. "He was as good a friend, as good a employer, as good a man, or any other man, and men, in the good ol world." Fucking iconic. I had a really insightful conversation with ry dearest. What we're looking to get, what we mean to each other, what we hope will happen. He was vulnerable and open and honest and beautiful and I'm thankful we had that moment together. I'd like to drop in for new years but he might be too cooked. We had a mini date where we watched caseoh granny together. I think I like him. He said he was going to visit daddyslaw's gf in washington. I freaked the absolute fuck out to the point I was shaking on stage. Like... he can do what he wants? You know you just set off 36 blazing alarms in his pretty head? He handled it really, really well and reassured it's not a set thing, she has a live in fiance, he just loves silly me. I'm shocked he covered so well and was so patient. Maybe he is actually a nice guy? I gave him a dump about why I'm like that, but I also get his ptsd slaps too. I have to do better. I'm disgusted that I got that upset over a guy just... visiting his pals? wtf cheyenne? I'm going to nuke this before we have a chance to see what happens. I know he absolutely hates that, but anxiety is a bitch. I'm mad that I'm jealous over his rp partners when I don't even rp. I need to stalk and control him and it is so disgusting. I need his attention and validation all the time. I'm doing exactly what someone else did and broke apart a marriage. We all become what we're running from, I guess. I apologized and thanked him for being good, but I need to get a fucking grip. Shit, so much more to cover... So after all this, Sunday we went to the taco dealer, another group of 20 theater nerds. I was with Stuart, Tara, Diann.... and I think I'm missing some. Oh, Pam. Stuart shared a deeply personal tale of his gender identity. How he felt slewicidal, and he may have acted on it after losing his job. But his identity of Sabrina helped him cope. It was a really moving talk about finding yourself and your identity, and it's never too late. He shared a lot of pictures and ngl im mad that his makeup and styling is better than mine. gg sabrina get it bestie. i wanted to cry and hug him at the end. id like to try new things and all that but.... yeah me and fren had a painting night last night. i made a very Phat gnome. i love him. nobody else had a jumbo gnome. again, good food, laugh until i cry. good times baby. im also super into crochet now so thats cool "yup. i think we're done here."

[anonymouslyspectacting]

This is going to be done by audio speaker to text. Today, today has been a mixture of a bunch of things, rough, good, happy, depressed, anxious, nervous. All of the above to stuff that I like and dislike or whatever I guess. I guess I may say how today was, so today was good, my gf left to go to home to get ready for work @6:30 then I went back to bed after telling her I loved her, I woke up officially around 9:30-10:26ish I think, then I got a burrito and ate that for breakfast (it was really really bad, my dad tries his best to cook but sometimes his meals aren’t very goob). Then I waited for my friend and I played overwatch for the first time ever w/her and I had a lot of fun! Then I started to try to get into the groove w/playing Minecraft which didn’t really work too well sadly which made me nervous/kinda down and I was kind of going through a downward spiral which sucked, but then I started watching yt videos and that kinda blew the time away. After that I went bowling kinda w/my brothers and dad and I felt very overwhelmed because there were a lot of ppl there and it was very noisy and it was a super duper noise overload which just made me uncomfortable and paranoid that people may have been judging me or whatever. I just mainly listened to music when I was there on Spotify, but that didn’t really help too much, so I was kinda just stuck there not able to do anything :/, then after that we went home, I downloaded some more games on my 2ds and finally organized everything into folders, and ate 2 peanut butter sandwiches. I do need to drink water so I’ll probably get some after this post. I called my gf to say goodnight which was nice, but I wanted to talk to her abt this but I don’t wanna wake her up and bother her with how I’m feeling right now. There’s a lot of other things going on also, like how my mom’s ex boyfriend is and has been very very scary and how he has made her feel very unsafe and uncomfortable when she found out he was an alcoholic which isn’t good. And I feel like I’m not ever going to be a good enough son for my dad, because we just never get along at all and it really really sucks, and my brothers hardly ever talk to me, like ik my 15y/o brother isn’t because he’s going through 9th grade and he’s always talking to his friends or is in his room on his computer or is watching a tv show for the hundredth time and never wants to hangout w/me and I understand that, but me now being in college just makes me feel like I don’t belong in this family I’m in. Ik that seems scummy or whatever, but that is just how I feel rn. And my youngest brother bless his heart, has adhd and autism like I do, but he hasn’t ever been given consequences or anything if he did something wrong, plus he’s an iPad child and gets whatever he wants pretty much. And it’s like, it’s sucks cause he never even wants to talk to me :/. My other younger brother who is almost 10, is scared of his dad and his dad is trying to get complete custody of him so my mom can’t see him anymore. He didn’t even get a Christmas tree for them to decorate. I’m hoping to get him something really nice and special this year. Okay okay, I’m sorry this has been long, it’s just how I feel rn and how I’ve been feeling for the past few days. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and a happy Xmas :p Gn ppl

[jajanvm-imbi]

Headcanons of Krel living on earth because he’s my favorite and I love him and I haven’t seen anyone do this yet so I feel like I have to

^^^^^because of this very moment I love the idea of Mary and Darci befriending Krel.

Since Aja,Vex and Eli went back to Akaridion-5, Mother was destroyed, and Claire was busy with Trollhunting stuff, earth gets pretty lonely. So Mary and Darci adopt him into their friend group. 

At first Krel was a little apprehensive to joining their friend group, but he quickly warmed up to it because, he, being Krel, loves the attention.

like I can totally see Mary and Darci taking Krel to like a mall or something and doing those like teen romcom movie shopping montages where he goes into a changing room and the girls judge the outfit until they find the perfect one.

I personally believe Krel would adopt a soft boy look, with like oversized button ups and t shirts tucked into jeans, but thats just me.

anyway, because he’s friends with Mary and Darci, Krel has a new found social popularity in Arcadia.

because of this, Krel would prolly get nominated for Spring Fling king and shit

I would say Krel wouldn’t really care about being nominated, but seeing how he cared so much about the science fair and the Battle of the Bands, he would definitely care

Steve is conflicted because he wants to be Spring Fling King, but he can’t mess with Krel like he did with Jim and Eli cause Krel is his girlfriend’s brother 

Krel notices this and takes advantage of it to mess with Steve and actually tries to win.

like Krel would just dominate the contests, and his theme presentation would be the flashiest and most appealing and people would just generally like him, and that would really worry Steve

like Krel, with four arms would be really good at the Touch-a-Truck-athon or whatever its called.

Krel would prolly let Steve win anyway because watching Steve squirm and freak out over prolly losing the crown and not being able to do anything about it cause he's Aja's brother is much better than any highschool dance crown

also the school 100% asks Krel to DJ future dances and events to save money, and Krel absolutely loves it

He would also definitely do the school play. Seeing how much he enjoyed being in Toby and Eli's short film, and again, he loves the attention, he would totally be down 

Also it would just be another chance to mess with Steve to be the lead. 

Because of this, Ms. Janeth would do another Shakespearean play, but do one of those modern renditions. Like it's the same play just in a modern setting, to take advantage of Krel's Akaridion form like they did with Jim's armor. 

If not in the play he would do stage crew/tech.

Like he would create elaborate settings for them using A5 tech and Ms. Janeth would adore it 

moving on, because home life is pretty lonely with just the Lucy and Ricky for company, Krel loves to host his friends for parties and sleepovers and whatever

and since Krel lives in the coolest house on the block, they love coming over

He hosts girl’s night every other week with Mary, Darci, and Clarie (becauuse she deserves a fucking break) 

since we’ve all agreed that Krel is 100% a gaylien, I love the idea that he casually comes out during a girls night

like Mary would be like “So Krel, are there any girls you like?” and Krel’s just like, “*snort* Girls? Who ever said I like girls?” and the others are like “….....?“ and Krel just rolls his eyes and says "I like boys, ladies” and they’re like “ooooohhhh, okay. Cool.”

So now they spend girls night talking about boys. Claire and Darci about their mans and Mary and Krel about cute boys.

One day the girls give Krel a little rainbow pin and Krel’s just like “what’s this?” And the girls tell him that it’s an earth symbol for the gays and he’s like “theres a symbol for that here? I didnt think it was that big of a deal. On A5 it’s pretty normal” and the girls explain why theres a symbol and he’s like “oh shoot wow, thanks" and he put it on his backpack.

He’s pretty confused the first time someone is homophobic towards him cause like that kind if behavior doesnt happen on A5 and hes just like, “why does this bother you? I hardly know you” and just brushes it off. Its doesnt really bother him, mainly cause he doesnt know the earth insults towards gay people so he doesn’t even realize, but if the girls (or Toby, or even Steve, too) catch anyone being homophobic towards their friend they will attack that asshole on sight. Especially Mary and Steve

Random person on the street: Ha, *slur*

Marry: WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM BITCH???

Krel: Marry its fine, it’s not that big of a dealoHSEKLOSANDGAYLENMARYGETOFFOFHIM

Marry: SAY IT AGAIN ASSHAT, I D A R E YOU

Claire and Darci: *trying to hold Mary back* maRY NO

Steve: THATS MY NINJA KICKING SPACE ANGEL GIRLFRIEND'S BROTHER BUTTSNACK I'LL END YOU

Toby: *now chasing after Steve to stop him* stEVE NO

Mary would 100% find out who the rando is and destroy their life on social media. Like she would leak their job, phone number, email, school/college (if applicable) to her thousands of followers and absolutely ruin them with no remorse. And honestly, good for her

Also whilst on the subject, Krel can not drive or cook for 2 reasons: 1. Hes gay and 2. He’s a prince so he’s never had to do either before

Like he can obviously do math but that’s it.

Proof? That one scene in Wizards when Douxie had him drive the airship. You know the one.

Coach Lawrence refuses to get in a car with him at Drivers Ed after the 3rd day Krel shows up.

Krel gets addicted to sugary coffee shop-esc drinks thanks to Darci. Not coffee cause we saw in 3Below Part 1 that he doesnt like coffee, but refreshers, coolattas, frappuccinos etc…? Definitely.

As for warm drinks, he’s more of a tea person.

Moving on

He face calls Aja everyday because he really misses her

He tells her all about school and his friends and whatever and Aja tells him about the changes she’s making to the A5 government

Thanks to the wormhole they visit each other often. Sometimes Steve tags along cause he misses his ninja kicking space queen angel girlfriend. (And Eli, but that's also for another post)

They take turns housing Luug.

Krel genuinely loves it on earth, but he hates the primitive technology so he begs Aja to send him supplies and materials for his projects. 

He would 10000% apply to HexTech for an after school job. Seeing his reaction to HT in Wizards and the fact that “Akaridion tech and magic are so compatible”, he would be the perfect addition to the HT staff. 

The Wizards wouldn’t be sure at first but after he shows them A5 tech and Douxie’s email of recommendation about the time loop thing they made together, the wizards are like “oh yeah we definitely keeping this kid. This is going to be so much fun.”

Their inventions become more and more extravagant because Krel can and he's just extra and the wizards love it.

He would definitely find a way to use magic using A5 tech. But he would have to study magic in order to figure out how, so the wizards help him learn all about magic. And since he's learned everything there is to learn about science and technology and whatever, he's super excited to learn about something completely different and interesting. The wizards are happy to teach him. He would be the first Akaridion to learn and use magic

Like he would make his own staff with his serrator and everything. He's like "earn a staff? Nah fuck that going to make my own"

Speaking of which he really likes human swear words. But he doesnt know when it is and isn't inappropriate to say these swear words so he's gotten in trouble a few times for swearing at the wrong time

For example:

Ms. Janeth: excuse me Mr. Tarron?

Krel: what the fuck do you want?

Everyone in the room: krEL NO

Anyway, back to Krel at HT, thanks to Toby, he would definitely have a bowl of candy in his little lab. More like multiple jars of different candy just scattered around the room. Small candy like fun sized chocolate and skittles and jelly beans and whatever

And a mini fridge, of course.

Steve, Toby and Arrrgh come over to the lab alot to mess around.

Toby has a lot of sci-fi requests for Krel to make

Toby: do you think you can make a shrink ray? Laser blasters? Invisible ray? My own hoverboard? My own serrator *gASP* WITH A WARHAMMER SETTING???? WITH SPACE ARMOR TO MATCH???!!!???!

Krel: Toby you already have a warhammer and armor why do you need more?

Toby: I dont have a space warhammer and armor Krel!!!!!!

Going back to school life, I feel like Krel would take an interest in Spanish class. I mean, his human form is latino and in Trollhunters (I'm pretty sure the lightning in a bottle episode) he said "Si" in response to a question someone asked him, so I feel like he would like to learn another human language. 

I also feel like he would just like to learn about Latin American culture in general since Mother gave him that form. He'd like to get in touch with his human self. 

Claire (when she isnt busy Trollhunting with Jim and the gang) is happy help him learn about Latin American culture and help him with his Spanish. 

Krel, being a fast learner, becomes fluent quickly with a perfect accent. 

Señor Uhl, who already liked the Tarrons to begin with, would really appreciate this. 

Claire's dad would also appreciate this.

Since he has such a fascination with human music, Krel would especially love Latin American music. Specifically reggaeton, since its kind of like techno music in a way and he already likes techno music.

And naturally, he learns to dance. All the styles of latin american dances. And he becomes quite the favorite on the dance floor.

He and Claire become great dance partners cause they both have the natural Latino rhythm and because Jim respects and trusts his girlfriend he doesnt mind them dancing together at parties and stuff

Although, Jim does ask for dance help at some point cause it looks like fun and he wants to dance with his beautiful talented incredible amazing gf and Krel is happy to teach him and anyone else who wants dance help. 

GUITAR LESSONS with Douxie cause in 3Below Krel said he really wanted to learn how to play guitar, steals Shannon’s guitar from the bonfire and is seen multiple times strumming it throughout the series. So of course this is included.

Toby introduces Krel to YouTube and Krel instantly makes his own channel.

of course his channel is called DJ Kleb and he posts his tracks and remixes. and maybe even some vlogs

its a little slow at first, only Arcadia Oaks students are subscribed to it but Mary blows it up by posting one of Krel’s tracks on her own social media and now he has thousands of subscribers

he also gained other forms of social media like Instagram and Tiktok, platforms to post his music

At this point every girl in school wants to be friends with Krel but not in the toxic GBF (gay best friend) way, girls just genuinely think he's 10x more interesting than every other boy in Arcadia Oaks

I think that's it for now sorry this is really long I just really love Krel and I had so many ideas. Feel free to add on!!

[retrievablememories]

nepenthe | winwin

title: nepenthe pairing: winwin x black!reader genre: hurt/comfort, fluff request: “Winwin stays with his girlfriend over night while she is sick and takes care of her. This is a major turning point in their relationship because the gf thought that there was a strain in their relationship but him doing this unannounced makes her realize he really cares about her. Black oc? Thank you!” word count: 2.7k warnings: mentions of being sick, relationship troubles, some cursing a/n: nepenthe (n.) — “anything inducing a pleasurable sensation of forgetfulness, especially of sorrow or trouble.”

➠ a part of the nct 127 sleepover series

It’s been awhile since you’ve been able to hang out with Sicheng without your many responsibilities pulling you both in different directions. Therefore, you leapt at the invitation to visit him at the dorm while you both had a window of free time. Getting these kinds of opportunities was not frequent between your college tasks and his work, and you both always tried to plan things well in advance if it was possible.

However, in the few days before you’re supposed to go over to the dorm, a strange itch begins in your throat, and your head feels fuzzy and warm in a bad way. Thinking the worst, you try to get ahead of it by taking medicine and getting more rest, but it’s just a little too late; you’re sick with a cold. You’re naturally upset about it, but you’re even more disappointed because it means you can’t visit Sicheng anymore—not unless you want to get him and everyone else sick.

Either way, you don’t think you could drive to his dorm even if you wanted to attempt it, considering you’ve only been able to get up to use the bathroom and eat whatever snacks or medicine you have around. Every part of your body feels weaker, although this might also be because you haven’t had energy to cook an actual meal.

You don’t want to break the news to him, but the date is creeping closer and it’s better to tell him now than have him be unpleasantly surprised when the day comes and you never show up. So, you sit up in bed as comfortably as you can and call his number, tugging the sheets around you and staring into space unhappily as the phone rings.

“Y/N?”

“Sicheng…”

“Hi Y/N,” one of the other boys says from the background, and you think it might be Yangyang.

“Hi Yang,” you respond, but your voice comes out a bit broken as you cough at the end.

“What’s wrong?” Sicheng asks, and it sounds like he’s walking away—maybe going into another room to talk to you privately.

“I’m really sorry Sicheng, but I can’t come over this week...I’m sick and I feel like pure shit.”

“You’re sick?” Sicheng asks, and he sounds both annoyed and concerned. “Like, you’re really sick?”

“Uh, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” you ask, irritated by the seemingly silly question.

“Y/N, I was just making sure—it’s not like this is the first time you’ve canceled our plans over one reason or another.”

You roll your eyes and sigh, though it comes out a bit ragged. “Excuse me for getting sick, then. It’s not like I could help it, and every time I canceled I had a valid reason. It’s not like I don’t want to see you.”

“I get it, I get it. I didn’t even suggest that Y/N.”

“But you always sound like you’re upset with me every time it happens.”

“Well, yeah. Do you expect me to be happy about not being able to see my girlfriend?” Now he sounds as irritated as you are.

“That’s not even what I’m talking about and you know it.” You want to say more, but you are already tired and the last thing you want to spend your energy on is arguing.

“Look, I don’t know why—”

“Sicheng, I’m really tired. We can just talk about this later, okay? I’m sorry I can’t come. Goodbye.” You don’t wait for a response before ending the call, and you feel a little bad about it, but you don’t feel like dwelling on any of this at the moment.

You sink further down into the nest of pillows you’ve propped up against your headboard and resign yourself to another long and arduous night of trying to fight your sickness. A few tears drop from your eyes, though you try not to cry too much; that would only make your nose even more stuffed up. Eventually, you fall into a restless and light sleep before you even realize it.

However, you’re frightened awake a half hour later—or maybe it’s an hour later, you’re not totally sure—when your phone rings from underneath one of your many pillows.

It’s Sicheng again. Your stomach drops a bit. Maybe he’s more pissed about you hanging up than you thought he’d be, and he’s calling again to say he’s finally had enough of you flaking on him. Which might be a ridiculous conclusion to jump to in any other relationship, but… “Hello?” you ask, your voice now doubly rough from sleep.

“I hate to ask this of you, but can you let me in? I don’t have a key or anything so…”

You pause for a long moment, then sit up in bed, though it takes an effort. Your head is still hot, and you think you might be having a fever dream or haven’t heard him right. “Let you in?”

“I’m outside,” he confirms.

“Outside…” you repeat. Maybe you shouldn’t be this surprised about your boyfriend coming over to your place, but he gave no indication he was coming over. Or that he was even thrilled about dealing with you in these past few months. Plus, it’s snowing pretty steadily outside and will likely get heavier in the next few hours; not many people would want to travel in that weather.

You get up from the bed and go to the front door. As he said, Sicheng is standing there with two bags on each arm. You shuffle to the side to let him in the door, still feeling surprised but mostly dizzy and feverish. “I didn't know you were coming,” you say absentmindedly.

“You hung up before I could say so,” he says. His tone is light, as though he doesn’t want to make a big deal of it, but you can tell he isn’t super pleased about it.

You shift on your feet a bit awkwardly. “Ah yeah….sorry about that…” You follow Sicheng into your kitchen to watch him set the bags on the kitchen counters, and you’re about to sit in one of the chairs until he hurries over to you and gently grasps your arm.

“You should get back in bed. Don’t worry about this stuff in here, I’ll take care of it and bring you your food.”

You raise your eyebrows, but even that facial movement is enough to make your head throb. “You brought food?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to attempt to cook…” He laughs softly as he guides you back to your bedroom and into your bed, and you’re momentarily embarrassed by how messy everything is. You haven’t had the strength or motivation to tidy anything up, and there are tissues all over the place still.

If he notices the mess, which you know he must, he doesn’t say anything about it. He only helps you back underneath the covers and even takes the initiative to throw the messy tissues in your wastebin. Again, you’re embarrassed by him touching everything like it’s not gross, and you pull the blanket up as if to hide beneath it.

“You don’t have to do all that, I can toss them out later,” you insist.

“It’s fine. You’re the patient, remember? Just let me handle it.” He smiles, and you just nod in response.

“Patient, though...you make me sound so sickly.” You want to laugh but your head hurts too much to do so, and you merely make a wounded sound instead.

“You are the patient. My patient,” Sicheng says, and comes over to lay a hand across your forehead. He makes a sad noise at how hot your skin is under his hand. You want to ask him a bunch of questions about why he came and why he’s being so concerned despite your earlier conversation, though they seem kind of ridiculous to you. He’s your boyfriend, and he’s supposed to be concerned, but for the past few months it seems like a wedge has been growing between you. And now, he’s not even as upset about you not being able to come over as he’d normally be.

Sicheng leaves your bedroom to go take care of the stuff in the kitchen. He comes back a few minutes later with soup and medicine and water, and you watch from where you’re propped up on the pillows as he arranges the things on your nightstand.

“Thank you,” you say as he hands you the medicine and water to take. Sicheng watches as you as you do, and you feel strangely bashful under his gaze.

When you grab the soup, your hands are still a bit shaky, so he offers to take it for you instead. “Are you sure? I feel like I’m a baby or something.” You smirk to yourself and shake your head.

“If I don’t you’ll spill it on yourself, and I don’t think you want that.” Sicheng gives you a small smile, and your cheeks warm a little—more than they already are, anyway—when your hands brush each other’s as he takes the bowl. The feeling is almost foreign; you haven’t experienced that sensation so acutely since you did when you first started dating and everything was still new and electric.

It’s quiet for a while as he feeds you, but you’re increasingly curious about the whole situation, so you finally decide to speak.

“Do the others know you’re gone?” you ask between bites of food. “Like, I mean...I’m sure they do, but…” You’re not sure what exactly you’re trying to ask him, and your words falter for a moment.

“Yes, but I’m not really supposed to be gone right now.” He feeds you another bite, and you chew it somewhat sadly.

“Then why did you come? You could get in trouble.”

“Do you not want me here?” His smile is joking, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. That makes you feel guilty. “It doesn’t really matter...it won’t be the first or last time I get into trouble over something that really isn’t that serious.”

“No, I...want you here. I’m surprised you came, though.”

“Why?” he asks, though he looks like he already knows the answer.

“We both know things have been kind of shitty lately. Between us.” You’re wary of expanding any further and dragging up all those unpleasant memories—and ruining the small, relatively peaceful moment you’ve both created—so you let him give you another spoonful of soup to fill the silence.

Sicheng’s smile fades a bit and is replaced with a more solemn look. “You’re not wrong about that. I just...I’m sorry for making you feel like I’ve ignored your feelings. And for being too impatient with you. I want to be next to you all the time, but it’s hard to not be able to do that.”

“It’s not entirely your fault...I haven’t done a great job of keeping to our plans.” You hang your head. “College takes up so much of my time with exams and study groups and whatever, and then this happens…”

Sicheng sets the spoon down in the bowl. “But...I think that’s life. I shouldn’t get mad with you about it. Some things are just out of our control. Seriously, though, I’m really glad that you always focus on your studies. You should. Don’t let me or anything else stop you from making a life for yourself.”

Sighing quietly, you place your hand on Sicheng’s knee, wanting to hold his hand although he’s currently occupied with holding your soup. You settle for tracing your fingertip across the bone of his knee, feeling the solidity of it. It somehow makes you feel grounded. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Y/N.” He gives you a bittersweet look and carefully shifts the bowl to his right hand so he can rest his other hand on top of yours. That single gesture makes you want to never let go.

As the night wears on, you assume Sicheng will be readying himself to go back to the dorm soon. The idea of that makes you sad, but you don’t express that aloud; you don’t want to keep him any longer than he should stay. The time on your phone shows it’s almost 1 a.m., and the members will start wondering when he’ll get back if they aren’t already.

However, Sicheng already has different plans of his own.

From where he lies on the bed beside you, he watches you as you recline against the pillows, your eyes dropping a little while you both watch TV. He moves a curly strand of hair out of your face, and you startle a little at the tickle of his fingers on your skin. “Y/N. Do you want me to stay? I mean, I was already planning to...but only if you’re okay with it.”

“Is that a good idea? You could get sick. Actually, you’ve probably already caught all my germs from being here for so long...”

Sicheng shakes his head. “You’re sick. I won’t leave you alone here.”

“But you have schedules and all that, you can’t do those if you catch my cold—”

Sicheng cups your cheek. “Y/N. You can make 100 reasons why I shouldn’t be here, but that doesn’t mean I’ll leave you by yourself like this.”

You sigh and turn to face him. You press your forehead to his, think better of it for a moment, and then do it again anyway. “Okay. Please stay.” Sicheng lifts his head from yours to kiss your forehead, and the soft press of his lips makes you momentarily forget about all of your pains.

You go through your bedtime routine with Sicheng’s help, which feels incredibly nice to do after the last couple days have been spent just falling into bed and feeling super crusty about it. He puts your moisturizer on your face and ties your hair up for you in the mirror, which makes you smile at your reflection.

“Can you get me my bonnet?” you say after he finishes with your hair.

“Bonnet…?”

It’s right then when you realize he hasn’t seen you in a bonnet before. The times you’ve been to his dorm or he’s been at your place, neither of you could spend the night.

You try not to laugh at the confusion on his face. “It’s on the dresser,” you say. “It’s pink. You should recognize it as soon as you see it.”

Sicheng wanders back into your bedroom to find it, though you can almost see the question mark floating above his head. Luckily, he’s successful in his quest and comes back with the pink bonnet after a few moments. “You wear this? What does it do?”

“It protects my hair from breaking,” you tell him. “Cotton pillows are not good for my hair.”

Sicheng nods and fixes your bonnet on your head, his fingers brushing against your hot cheek as he brings his arms back down. “Protects your hair? Hm...should I be wearing one of these too? We could match.”

You burst out in laughter, for real this time, and it makes you cough right after. Sicheng rubs your chest for comfort. “I think you’ll be fine without one, Sicheng.”

Soon enough, you’re both tucked into bed, your room dark and quiet and warm. The snow is still coming down outside, and it’ll probably be high enough to build a snowman with by the time morning comes. You’ll save all that for when you get better, though.

Sicheng wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you closer into his body and tucking you against him as if sheer proximity could cure you of your cold. You smile softly at his actions and tuck your face into his chest, drifting into a sleep that’s more peaceful than any you’ve had in days.

Maybe it won’t cure your sickness, but it is definitely mending the sadness you’d been feeling for so long.

[storiesofsvu]

Italian Soda, Sparkling Water, Orange Juice

Italian soda: describe your dream date:

This one can like, go multiple ways. I love me a good at home, order takeout/cook for each other and curl up watching a movie/binging tv and snuggling thing. But i do also love being taken out/taking someone out. A night out at the theatre, or dinner and drinks, or just having drinks together at a faved bar, all is good. I guess I’m just not picky? Lol. If it is a first date, i do love going to a movie and THEN doing dinner/drinks, cause then you have something to talk about if you have nothing else to bond over LOL.

Sparkling water: describe what qualities you look for in a person:

Similar interests, a good heart, can make me laugh, someone that I’m comfortable with, treats customer service people with respect/tips 20%….

Orange juice: have you ever had a valentine?

HA!! Okay so *technically* yes. I was with my ex for valentine’s 2020. Because the 14th was a Friday, and i think it’s a commercial/Hallmark holiday anyways (like, everything’s more expensive on the actual day…) and i had to work, we decided to do things on the 13th. We had full plans, I’m pretty sure they were to go bowling? I can’t remember, but i was super stoked to have something to do for once. I got a text from my boss asking if I’d want to come in for a shift, i said no cause i had plans with the dude, (and keep in mind like, i would’ve made $100 plus wage that night…). Then…the time rolls around, i text the bf, no response….this goes on for HOURS, and I’m getting madder as time goes by. FINALLY, i CALL his BROTHER via facebook messenger cause bf has been having a rough time mental health wise and i am WORRIED about him. Bro is all “yeah he’s right here.” Hits the bro all “dude…pick up your phone, your gf is worried”. Fucking homeboy was just ASLEEP.

Tl;dr: my ex stood me up the one Valentine’s Day i actually had someone….so…my expectations are VERY LOW in the future lolololol

[pixie-cocaine]

ATEEZ Reaction To: their S.O. wearing baggy clothes

ateez reacting to their gf wearing a short plaid skirt with a super oversized sweatshirt that goes down to almost their skirt length 

Theme: different dates :D

Hongjoong ♡:

• You were both were going out to go to a famous planetarium

• You always did like looking at the stars and how they hung in the sky, sparkling like the moon’s reflection in any body of water

• So this was a cool little experience that both you and Joong could have together

• You wanted to dress casual, so settling with a roomy beige sweater, decorations of black diamonds sewn in, along with a red plaid skirt was what you went with

• By roomy, you meant damn-near covering the skirt, which gave the look a lax, puffed out appearance

• That shit was B I G

• His reaction?

• The softest eyes ever omfg I’m sobbing-

• No dramatic gasps, no squealing (I’m looking at you. Mingi)

• Just being able to see his indifferent expression melt away into a pure puppy face as you emerged from the hallway into the living room

• All you were wearing was a skirt and sweater but to him, every single outfit brought out more of your beauty

• You never failed to amaze him

• Allowing a small smile, he’d use his hand to gesture toward you

• “You look lovely”

Calm outings with Joong are always the most wholesome smfh I’m so mushy because of this goldfish-looking bit-

Seonghwa ♡:

• A sweet picnic-esque date in a secluded flower meadow with Hwa?

• You’d be mad to say no

• It was a nice warm-air temperature outside, so you settled for a yellow loose knit sweater and a matching yellow plaid skirt to go with it

• The sweater swallowed up most of the skirt, resulting in only a small bit of the skirt being visible, but you thought nothing of it

• Seonghwa certainly did

• He’d been eyeing you all the way to the picnic spot, face shadowing over with pleasant surprise when you came to stand in front of him, and sparkling eyes flicking over to your direction every couple minutes

• god can you imagine feeling his gaze on you?

• looking over at him, and watching as he would catch your eyes, only to quickly focus back on the road in front of him

• I’m gonna turn your kneecaps to dust if you don’t fucking speak up, Hwa

• Eating cutely-packaged lunches on top of the pastel pink blanket turned into Seonghwa’s head lying on your lap as you plucked the various flowers and placed them in the silky tresses of his inky black hair

• Sweet peas, Marigolds, and Hydrangeas flecked Hwa’s locks, complimenting gorgeously against the slight tan of his skin, as well as the patches of sunlight gleaming onto his face through the leaves of the tree you sat against

• He was truly stunning, especially when he opened his previously closed eyes to stare up at you, a smile slowly tugging at the corners of his lips

• You brush a thumb across Seonghwa’s cheek, “Why were you looking at me earlier?”

• “Because of your outfit,” The hand already resting hand against your thigh began to play with your skirt 

• “What about my outfit?”

• “It makes you look adorable”

Yunho ♡:

• You already know fairs and amusement parks with Yunho are gonna happen

• Like are you kidding me?

• Baby LOVES doing wild things with you

• It was in the afternoon, pretty cool weather, and you kinda just threw on what you saw

• What you saw, being a very big black cotton sweater and blue plaid skirt

• Nothing too much, nothing too less

• Bruh, he really couldn’t stop calling you cute

• Even as soon as you came out of the room, he was like

• “aWAWAWWWWW LoOk AT yoU”

• Loud as hell, as usual

• Walking around and playing all the games, as well as riding the rollercoasters and such, Yunho couldn’t stop staring at you every now and then

• You were beaming; neon lights and vibrant colors glowing against your face as you both roamed around

• Adorable UwU

Yeosang ♡:

• This man is a freak

• He’s literally so weird lmao

• But that’s what you find so damn goofy about him

• Anyways, bowling! :)

• “How cute,” he smiled from his spot on the couch, cooing upon seeing your outfit of an oversized wine red sweater and black plaid skirt, barely visible upon the sagging top

• You giggled, giving him a small spin before you guys were off

• He really did like the look, and he wasn’t afraid to tell you either

• A couple hours after getting your ass handed to you in the rounds of bowling, you and Yeosang took a seat with a couple of fries and rootbeer floats

• You could feel his eyes on you, so you looked up from your food

• “Yes?”

• He grinned and pointed to your exposed legs

• “I just never noticed how pretty your thighs are”

I still can’t believe he stirred eggs for +2 hours. A literal crackhead.

San ♡:

• Karaoke night, y’all

• Hitting high notes? Girl- a breeze

• Just scream into the mic and turn people deaf, they won’t be able to tell the difference

• Anyways

• Your choice of outfit?

• A pink fleece sweater and black plaid skirt

• You were stunning omg

• San would be melted, bro

• “Oh!”

• Literally couldn’t say anything else besides that you were fluffy-looking. Jus wanted to cuddle you right there and then, yanno?

• Turning up to the karaoke bar would be wild. You’d stand on that mini stage and be doing little dances here and there

• San wouldn’t be able look away from how small you looked in that sweater

• Like a liddol lamb

• A proud hubby

Mingi ♡:

• When I said he squeals, he SQUEALS

• He’s loves soft things, and so when you come out looking like a purple marshmallow in the puffy oversized sweater and slate grey plaid skirt, it automatically makes him let out weird noises of adoration

• Tackles you in a hug

• Babbles on about how huggable you are and random things in general while pretty much crushing you

• After he’s done squeezing the life out of you, he’ll be all bouncy 

• Roller skating tiiiiiiime

• Y’all gonna get CRAZY crazy

• Cuz I already know this man right here is gonna be falling on his ass a lot

• But he’ll make sure to stay by you, always giving you a push and hyping you up

• “You look like a little fairy. Pose!”

• After your ankles are bouta pop off and you guys sit down, he’ll be looking at your outfit again

• “You should wear stuff like that more often. You look really cute”

Wooyoung ♡:

• Bumper cars, bitch

• Cuz every other idea I had involves not being able to wear a skirt unless you wanna flash everyone casually walking by

• I’m not judging if that’s what you want tho

• After rummaging through your closet for a bit, you settle for a plain white knitted sweater and black plaid skirt

• Woo would find you absolutely darling, bro

• “Aww, cute, cute”

• But wouldn’t be mulling over it too much

• Because you always look good, and this is only one of the many cute outfits he’s seen you in

• Still, he’d give you some up-and-down’s a couple times throughout the night, probs compliment you a couple times, too

• Other than that, the date would be very fun 

• [insert Woo’s devil laugh]

Jongho ♡:

• Big big babie

• A simple ice cweam and city roam date with Jongie 

• god it’d be so soft

• Also, he’d be in love with how your sweater was so big that i gave you sweaterpaws, as well as the drape of it over your form

• He’d just wanna put you in his pocket and take you everywhere with him

• HAND HOLDING OMFG LEAVE ME TO CRY ALONE

• “You look really nice”

In a nutshell, Jongho deserves the world

[australian-desi]

Rest In Peace ~ Sushant Singh Rajput

Hey guys, I was going into a spiral thinking about SSR and everything he went through and I needed somewhere to write my feelings down. There’s so much noise about this on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, I didn’t want to add to the noise, bashing and overall negativity, so found this to be the best place. I’m sorry in advance if I offend anyone. This is going to be very long. 

Sushant Singh Rajput the Actor and Human:

I’m not going to lie, I wasn’t his biggest fan, not by a long shot. I watched him in Pavitra Rishta every now and then because my mum was obsessed with that show and I used to be confused as to why everyone was obsessed with Manav and Archana - I was 12 years old when the show started and just felt it was another saas-bahu serial. However, to this day it amazes me how Manav and Archana were able to capture their audience for three consecutive years when their story was another saas-bahu serial. It was obviously the actors portraying them, and it takes a lot to grab someone’s attention and keep it on yourself. SSR had that energy. I remember then he came onto Jhalak Dikhlaa Jaa, I watched that show quite religiously because of my love for dance, and was bowled over by how good of a dancer he was. He had perfect lines, and his posture was amazing, I was in awe every time he danced. I remember that in that show he proposed to his then-gf in the cutest way possible, a proposal that is etched into my mind till this day. 

He then left his daily soap, for a career in Bollywood, it was a very risky, bold move because it is a well known fact - Tellywood actors, are rarely able to make good careers in Bollywood. Most of them become irrelevant after their first or second movie. But man was everyone wrong about Sushant. I didn’t watch Kai Po Che, but I remember the buzz around it at the time, everyone was talking about it, and it was one of the biggest movies of that year. He then did Shuddh Desi Romance - a movie I was inclined to watch because he was in it, I was slowly turning into a fan, but I didn’t get the chance to watch it. Then came PK. When PK’s trailer was launched, SSR’s cameo was kept a secret, I remember I was in the theatre and he came onto the screen and absolutely owned it. His performance as Sarfaraz won me over, and a smile still comes to my face when I remember him in the song “chaar kadam”. SSR had an amazing screen presence, he knew how to keep the audience’s attention on himself and a lot of the time you would forget this Sushant Singh Rajput, in fact you would only think of him as his character. The brilliance in his craft was the ability to become his characters completely, to the point you think of them as a real person. The next movie I watched of his was MS Dhoni - a movie that became a sensation. Everyone who went to the movie as Dhoni fans, came back as Sushant’s fan. He deserved that and more. You could see his hardwork, his passion and his dedication in everything he did. I remember when the trailer for Raabta dropped, I was super excited two of my favourite actors - Sushant and Kriti had come together. At that point I started watching more interviews of him and got to know him a little from what he portrayed as a person. Raabta flopped at the box office, however, personally I enjoyed it and I was amazed at the chemistry he had with Kriti Sanon. In Kedarnath, I was so excited that Sara Ali Khan was doing her debut with him, and man both did not disappoint. Kedarnath was an amazing movie and Sushant portrayed his character with utmost conviction. Chichore was the last movie I watched of his and I absolutely loved the movie and him in it. The themes and overall message of that movie hit deep, and it was intelligently made, with comedy mixed with the darker themes, but not taking away from the main message they were trying to convey. Overall, even though I wasn’t a fan of him at the start of his career, he had won me over. 

I also started adoring him as a person. His love for physics and astronomy; his eyes full of curiosity and enthusiasm towards the great unknowns. He didn’t finish his engineering degree, but the childlike wonder he had towards science made me excited as a scientist myself. He showed everyone that he had a brilliant mind and I’ve said this before and I’ll said it again, actors who are educated and well-spoken make me respect them more, they have a different way of thinking, they are eloquent and they show how much education can do for a person. SSR had all of these qualities. I could hear him speak for hours at a time. His instagram posts were always so deep and meaningful, it would make me thing differently, and his 50 things bucket list inspired me to no end. Especially how much he wanted to do for other people and how much he wanted to grow as a person. He also had an infectious smile, his smile used to make his fans smile and it takes a big person to do that. 

SSR’s Death: 

I was doing an assignment when one of my friend’s had sent me the news. I thought it was a hoax at first, but then I googled him, and it was true - Sushant Singh Rajput had committed suicide. Honestly, I’ve been distraught since then, I cried multiple times, and I can’t stop thinking about him, the pain he must’ve felt in order to take this decision, and whenever I saw his sisters or dad I cried even more, the sadness and despair I felt would be nothing compared to theirs, especially because his death was preventable. I’ve never been depressed, I’ve had my fair share of panic attacks and anxiety but I don’t know what depression is. I only know what I’ve studied, that people who are depressed have physiologically different brains to people who are not, they have decreased levels of oxytocin and serotonin, and that they have less grey matter. I’ve also been told that this causes them to not be able to function, they sleep too much, become unable to socialise, and their brain starts to turn them against themselves. However, I believe that there is always an underlying cause of depression. There are triggers for depression, a person doesn’t become depressed over nothing. I know everyone wants to know the trigger; why did he take such a drastic step, but he didn’t leave a note. He left with silence. I know it is difficult, but I feel that we should respect that, however, we should not let him die in vain. 

But I’m going to be real here IT IS NOT OUR PLACE AS THE GENERAL PUBLIC/AUDIENCE OR FANS TO GO ONTO OTHER CELEBRITIES TWITTERS/FB/IG AND CALL THEM MURDERERS. How dare we think that we can blame other people for someone’s death. I don’t care how these people treated him while he was alive, let them mourn him in peace. His death has taught me one thing, not one person is toxic, not one industry is toxic, all of us are. The person who is now checking up on every single person that they usually would not care for because of guilt, the girl shouting all over my timeline that Karan Johar, Deepika Padukone and Alia Bhatt murdered SSR, the boy screaming that x person didn’t post about his death they wouldn’t be affected by this or they don’t care. Every single person. Everyone needs to stop with raging on social media. They need to take a step back and breathe, and mourn and let others mourn. 

My take on Nepotism and Bollywood: 

Here’s the crux of the issue. Bollywood. I’m your average desi girl, I’ve grown up watching bollywood, being obsessed with it. To the point that at a certain time I only watched Bollywood. Then the whole nepotism scandal hit. I remember thinking to myself then, what’s the big deal? Also did people really not think about this until an actress had to come speak about it on national television? Did no one realise that Bollywood has been preferring starkids over other talents for decades? I used to think that yeah, Bollywood has nepotism, but where does nepotism not exist. The truth is nepotism exists everywhere. A doctor’s child becomes a doctor. A business man’s child becomes a businessman etc. But here’s the thing, the doctor’s child has to work towards becoming a doctor, he/she has to go through the same steps that other non-doctor children have to do. The only advantage they get is, that their parents might be able to help prepare them for what’s coming, and it’s not like every doctor has doctor parents, both people get equal opportunity. The child of a doctor just has more insight. However, in Bollywood, there is no equal ground, it isn’t as if a starkid only has it easy to get their first movie. Nope, they sign their second or third movie before their first one releases. Take Sara Ali Khan for example, she had already signed Simmba, before Kedarnath had released. Now take Anushka Sharma, she didn’t get her second movie two years after the release of her first one. Nepotism does exist, it will exist, but in other industries, the people who aren’t a product of it are still able to get promoted, to do good work and receive equal opportunity. However, in Bollywood this is not the case. It has never been the case. This needs to change. This needs to desperately change. Especially because nepotism didn’t use to be as bad, as the products of nepotism were still talented, but now, they are not, and SSR’s death can bring this change, because Bollywood is losing it’s credibility, and as I consider Bollywood my own, my home, I want it to do better. Actors who come from non-film backgrounds and television deserve to share space in mainstream cinema with those who do come from film backgrounds. 

Where From Here

In the past couple of years, we’ve become a horrible society. We pretend to like people when we meet them, and then bitch about them behind their back. We also think that whatever comes to our heads we can say to whatever celebrity the way we want because them being public figures is an open invitation for us to say hurtful things to them which normally we would not say if we meet them in person. We are the people who cry about nepotism, and then when a movie doesn’t have a big star in it we go “we’ll watch it at home, if we have time, why waste money going to the cinema”. We are the same people who cry about mental health issues and to raise awareness, when we think its absolutely fine to give a celebrity death threats because of a comment they made. We are also those people who cry about how SSR was treated unfairly, when we had a chance to go see his movies but didn’t. Who gave us this authority to be able to judge? Who gave us the right? If we won’t talk to other people with such disrespect in real life, why can we over the internet? WE. NEED. TO. DO. BETTER. AS. A. SOCIETY. 

We need to stop shaming people, we need to support artists that aren’t star kids, but also support star kids. They don’t deserve the hate they get either. It isn’t completely their fault that they are given more opportunity. It’s our fault too. We are the ones who make them successful. Directors know that they could sell more tickets with Ranbir Kapoor on the poster than Sushant Singh Rajput, even if Sushant Singh Rajput is a better artist. We need to support both talents. We need to show filmmakers as an audience, that both artists should be given equal opportunity. That the only thing nepotism should do for a starkid is just give them insight on what a life of an actor is like. That is all. They should also go to auditions, they should also be accepted or rejected based on talent. And for the love of god, we need to stop getting celebrities to judge other celebrities based on acting skills and sex appeal. it’s 2020, we can do better. 

Also to anyone who’s having any sort of dark thoughts. Please, I beg of you talk to someone. There is someone who loves you; your parents, siblings, teachers, friends, family, that brown guy in your dms. And if you truly don’t know anyone that you can talk to, talk to a therapist on a free hotline. My inbox is also always open if you want to chat. 

To Sushant Singh Rajput - I will miss seeing you at the movies, your smile and your interviews, and how much of an inspiration you were to me. I hope you are at peace now, and finally found happiness. 

For anyone who read this - thank you for reading my absolute ramble and I hope I made sense 

Here’s a dumb joke to make you hopefully smile a little, or at least roll your eyes: What do you call bacteria found in Agra? Agraculture - does this even make sense. IDK. All I want to say is, that I’ve been an absolute dukhi aatma for the past couple of days, and now its time to smile, and look at some positives. 

[zashamalkin]

Translation of Anna Kasterova’s live interview on 5/29/20.

Thanks to my amazing Gino Anon, the entire interview is translated below the cut. Final word count, btw, is 2405 so like, send big thanks their way. Holy shit! 

Anna got sick few days before the interview. Not covid, just a cold, that later turned into otitis. It was very painful, but now she’s feeling way better, though she still has some trouble hearing with her left ear. They talk a bit about the weather in Miami (it’s been raining there for a few days, but it’s still pretty hot). Igor asks if they’re allowed to swim during the quarantine. Anna says that the 1/ 

beaches were recently open, but there are obviously rules about keeping the safe distance. “Is Zhenya a good swimmer?” “Yeah, he’s great. He’s spending a lot of time with Nikita, teaching him how to swim. More in the pool though, than in the ocean.” “How do you and Zhenya feel about the latest news in NHL?” “I think, the idea is pretty good. Everyone has been waiting on some news about this season. I asked Zhenya if he preferred for the season to be cancelled. He said, he wanted to finish it 2/ 

properly. This season has been great for him, he’s in a great shape. And even though he hasn’t been skating for 2 months, he’s still been training pretty hard, running, roller skating and he didn’t lose his shape.” She thinks everything is turning pretty good so far and it’s great that the teams will have a time for training camps and a chance to go to playoffs.“In your opinion, were the players mentally prepared to continue the season?” “I think, those, who genuinely want to go to playoffs, 3/ 

have been working very hard to be ready, when the time comes. But, for sure, there are some players, who spent more time relaxing, rather than training. A lot of teams are asking their players to come back and start training on the ice and not all of the players follow their instructions.” “What are the rules about practice right now? Are they allowed to train in groups or…?” “There are no details about it yet. It haven’t even been decided yet, what cities will be chosen as Hub cities. So far 4/ 

the coaches are asking players to stay in shape. They have video calls together, where they go through different footage every time. But, as far as I understand, the organization and the coaching staff are ready for the players to come back.” “How do the players feel about the new rules for playoffs this season?” “No negative feelings. They’ve been under a lot of mental pressure, not knowing anything about the season and the playoffs. Everything seems pretty logical and they’re very happy to 5/ 

get back on ice and to have a chance to fight for SC.” “Is there any inside information about what cities will be chosen as Hubs?” “No one knows anything for sure. But I know that they’re very carefully considering epidemiological situation in the cities and will choose the safest options. ” *I SUCK at translating hockey terminology from Russian to English, so I’m sorry if anything is incorrect.* “Do you think it would’ve been fairer to include the numbers of “play-in” (I have no idea what he 6/ 

means by “play-in”) as well as the Robin Rounds into the statistics of regular season? Because it would give the players, like Ovechkin and Panarin, and Malkin to gain more points.” “It’s a very difficult question. But I’m sure NHL and NHLPA have gone over all the possible scenarios and have chosen the best one.” “How has Geno been handling the quarantine?” “He’s been very calm and collected. He’s been doing great mentally, smiling and cracking jokes, and keeping us safe and happy.” “Why did 7/

your family (meaning Geno, Anna and Nikita) decide to do a covid testing in early April?” “I had a pneumonia in November and wanted to find out for myself, if it was covid-induced, if I had any antibodies for the virus. But all the testing came back negative. None of us had it.” “What books did you and Zhenya read during the quarantine?” “Zhenya likes to read fantasy books. He’s been reading “Quantum Warrior: The Future of the Mind” by John Kehoe.” “Does he read in English?” “No, in English 8/

he’s mostly watching TV shows.” “I was very impressed by the story, that after his 1st season in NHL, Zhenya hired Russian language and literature teacher.” “He’s had a lot of free time these past 2 months and he’s hired 2 tutors: English language tutor to work on his grammar and Russian language tutor. (*Sorry, I don’t know if I need to explain this, but Geno obviously knows how to speak Russian. What I think Anna means here, is that the pronunciation of the words in Russian changes depending9/

on where the person is from. Every region has its own accent. I think, what Geno is trying to do, is lose his Magnitogorsk accent and start to speak clearer Russian, like ppl in Moscow of St. Petersburg do.*) He has classes with his tutors Monday to Friday. I’m very happy for him.” One of Geno’s friends in Russia has been robbed recently. Igor is asking Anna, if they ever considered buying a gun, since it’s allowed in US. Anna says no, they feel safe and they live a good neighborhood. She 10/

doesn’t think it necessary or appropriate. They talk a bit about Ovi’s second child being born recently and if Geno and Anna are planning on having a second child any time soon. “Of course, we wouldn’t mind having another child. If it happens, we’ll be very happy. I would like to have a girl, though.” “What’s the best way to describe Zhenya’s and Ovechkin’s relationships today? Are they friends or rivals” “Both. And healthy rivalry is very important in order to reach their personal goals.” 11/

“When Caps and Pens play each other, is it possible for them to go have dinner after.” “No.” “What can you say about the relationships between Zhenya and Sidney Crosby? When we talked with Zhenya last year, he said very nice and kind things about him. Even though Zhenya is in Sid’s shadow a lot of the time.” “I can talk about it for hours. They push each other and make each other stronger. But they also can step in and do more than anyone, when the other is hurt and not playing. Off the ice, 12/

they are very good friends and they support each other. Have I ever thought about what his life would be like, if he was the only star player in a team? I think, he’d be the best player in the whole NHL. He’s very intelligent in terms of building a game, always plans 2-3 steps ahead. He’s very fearless in his game, very talented and vey multilateral player. He’s very unique. They won together THREE STANLEY CUPS! No one's saying Crosby is less talented. He’s an incredible player, he works very13/

hard every day. They are 2 number 1 players in this team. If Zhenya ever asked me if I’d like him to play in New York, f/e, I’d say, no. Pittsburgh is his city, his home. And management and coaching staff are also a very important part of team success. The relationship inside the team is very important. And Pens are the best in that, imo.” “You two watched Super Bowl at Sid’s place. What’s it like there?” “It’s a tradition. Every year Sid invites the team with their wifes/gfs/kids to watch 14/

Super Bowl. His gf Kathy does all the cooking. She’s a very geart person, very hospitable. *omg, this is the first time I hear any1 talking about Sid’s gf 😀, aww* Everyone on the team is very open, very kind, they are great guys. It’s the best thing about Pens. So we’re always happy to accept Sid’s invitation and we always have a great time.” “Do you want Nikita to become a hockey player?” “We’re not gonna push him to it. If it’s something he wants, sure. But I have big plans for his 15/

education. I’d like him to know 2 languages, (English) and Russian, especially grammar, not just being able to speak it freely. I’m studying with him and for an almost 4 yo he already knows quite a lot. And it’s always very hard for a child of a parent, who has achieved so much, to surpass that kind of success. And I don’t want my son to have this kind of pressure on him. I don’t want him to be known solely as “Malkin’s son”. For me it’s very important for him to get a good education and to 16/

choose his path in life.” “Talking about the tv series about Michael Jordan, would you like a bio series to be shot about Zhenya?” “I know he wants to act, in a tv series or in a movie. He talked about it many times. As for a biopic, of course I would like that. He has a huge success story. A man from a simple, working class family. It’s very expensive to play hockey. And he was so talented even in a young age, that his coaches would sometimes bring him a puck, or a stick, or a uniform, for 17/

free. Add to that a story about him finally getting to NHL.” “Zhenya said once in an interview, that you fight sometimes about him not being open enough w/ you, not sharing his problems etc. Has it changed during the quarantine?” “Everything’s been great during quarantine. During the season, he’s under a lot of pressure and always takes it hard if the team loses or if he doesn’t score. Right now he’s very calm and happy, and everything is great.” A question about a conflict around Geno having18/

a USA passport (a lot of people in Russia, his celebrity friends especially, weren’t happy with that, and judged him for that). What does Anna think about it? “He’s a patriot. He loves his country and his city. We were in a hopeless situation, when I needed to get all the documents ready ASAP, and we needed to get married, and him having a US passport would speed that up. You could say, he did it for me. On the other hand, America is his 2nd home. He spends here more time than in Russia. He’s19/

been working here for years. Why is that such a big problem? It’s not like he turned his back on Russia or anything.” Then she talked about Geno’s donation to families in Magnitogorsk, who suffered bc of explosion that happened there in December 2018, and how much he gives to his community in Russia, that ppl don’t know about, bc he prefers not to advertise it. Then Igor keeps asking political questions and Anna is getting more and more irritated by them. Geno publicly supported Putin’s 20/

reelection whenever that was, and interviewer is asking whether him having an American passport is appropriate, considering that he’s a part of Putin team? “Why is it inappropriate? America and Russia are not enemies. Yes, there are some unresolved political issues. They are 2 huge countries, of course they will always feel threatened by each other. But I don’t see any serious political confrontation. Maybe bc we’re in US right now. But Zhenya has a great respect for his president. *bleh, I 21/

don’t like Putin. I know, she has to say nice things about him, bc as long as Geno is a part of Team Russia and wants to have a life in Russia, they can’t be openly against him. But both Geno and Anna don’t strike me as ppl, who will support Putin’s ideals. Sorry for me butting in w/ my opinion*” Question about Geno’s new diet after 18-19 season. “He never drinks alcohol during season. He doesn’t eat potatoes anymore. It’s very hard to cook him a soup w/o any potatoes in it. No sweet things,22/

no gluten. Now before games, he eats gluten-free pasta.” “Is he very superstitious? Do you try to wean him off some of them?” “No, if it makes him feel comfortable, why would I do that?” She declined to name any of them, bc it’s a personal thing for Geno. “Do you put in any work in Zhenya’s image and style?” “I think so, a bit. His sense of style has become better, his taste in literature.” “Zhenya’s favorite music?” “Russian pop-music mostly.” Question about Geno’s gaming habits. Anna 23/

doesn’t try to control him or tell him not to play, bc for him these computer games are a way to relax. She doesn’t mind. It’s his personal time. He doesn’t have his computer in Miami, so he found another way to spend time – studying with his tutors. Question about Olympics. “Yes, he’d like to win a gold medal with Team Russia, when the time comes.” He doesn’t feel jealous about Datsyuk or Kovalchuk, who have an Olympic gold. “Do you think, Zhenya’s last hockey season before retirement will 24/

be in Magnitogorsk?” “Sure, I don’t see why not. He’s very grateful for everything Metallurg gave him and it would seem logical for him to come back there before retiring.” “What is Zhenya’s biggest motivation right now?” “He’s very self-critical (she means Geno’s words about his skills in 18-19 season). He always has a high bar for himself and je always tries to reach it.” Question about Geno reaching 1000 pts. “It was a very big moment for us and a big win for him. He was very inspired 25/

by it and it gave him a lot of self-confidence.” ‘Was Zhenya mad about not making NHL’s 100 players list?” “I was. I was very angry. But he knows his value and what he’s achieved as a player. But it was very strange for me.” “Who do you think Zhenya wil be after his career ends? And how will your life together change? Will you spend more time in Russia or in US?” “It’s a tough question. I imagine a house by the lake, in Russia, with kids and, later, grandkids. With a big fireplace. I think, 26/

after finishing his career, we’d like to travel a bit. But I don’t know. It’s something you should ask him.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #381

“don’t try to be the one person who has stayed just to say they never left me”

Do you feel bored with your life? Always. Do you miss anyone who was mean to you in the past? I sometimes miss Colleen, but I know it's for the better that we no longer associate with each other. What’s the most weight you’ve ever gained from a medication? I don't know, but a fuck of a lot. Thanks, Abilify. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Do you pray? If yes, to whom? No. What do you miss about high school? Memories with Jason. What do you miss the most about college? Socializing. What was the best date you’ve ever been on? A triple date to an arcade w/ Jason and friends. What’s the last great song you discovered? The most recent one? I don't know, really. Do you feel free to post how you feel on Facebook? Yeah. Don't like what I post, delete me. Have you ever done cocaine? Yikes, no thanks. Do you think you’ll ever get married? Do you want to? I sometimes wonder if I ever will. I'm scared of just continuing to be an unemployed leech that is doing nothing significant with her life, in which case it's like, why even be with me romantically. I feel like such a dead end street. I want to get married someday. Who do you care about the most? When it comes down to it, probably my mom. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah. Would you ever get gauged ears? I want small gauges, actually. When it comes to clothing, are you the conservative type? Yes, because I hate my body and don't want others to see it. Do you enjoy eating? I wish I didn't. Have you ever ridden in a race car? No. Do you go out of your way to impress the opposite gender? No. Do you enjoy history? Not really, no. It bores me. Are you a pajama person or do you stay dressed all day? I'm just about always in my pjs. Do you value looks or personality more? Personality is way more important. Have you ever changed religions? Yeah. Born Roman Catholic, converted to Christianity when I further understood the differences, then I went to how I am now: I believe in something(s), but I don't quite know what. I wouldn't call myself a Neo-Pagan, but it's what I relate most to. Would you ever wear fake eyelashes? I would for like, my wedding. Foo fighters vs. Red Hot Chili Peppers: I'm actually not a big fan of either. Are you a fan of the SAW movies? I don't really watch them. Do you ever forget how old your siblings are? My two immediate sisters, I'm sometimes a year off. All my others, yes. :x Mountain Dew or Sprite? Mountain Dew, of course. I really don't like Sprite now, which is ironic because as a kid, it was my favorite soda. Could you ever give yourself a shot? Yeah. Have you ever worked as a cashier? That was one of my duties when I worked at a dollar store. If you are on birth control that allows you take pills and skip your period, how often do you opt to skip it? How come? My birth control doesn't allow me to skip, but rather, it regulates it. Is there a book series where you loved the first book, but for some reason the other books in the series just didn’t measure up? I can't say that, no, as most series I just kinda fell out of, like The Hunger Games. LOVED the first book, started the second, and even though I was enjoying it, I just stopped for some reason? Are there any stores/restaurants that you would like to shop/eat at, but there aren’t any located near enough to you? Haha yeah, like lots of west coast fast food places like Jack n' the Box or however it's formatted. If you were told by a professional that you were unable to become pregnant, how would that affect you? Is there something important to you about conceiving a biological child rather than adoption? And finally, if you even want to have children, would you choose adoption or surrogacy or would you go on childless? I don't even want kids, so honestly, I'd be stoked if I learned I was infertile. Wouldn't need to worry about the chance of getting pregnant and facing an abortion dilemma. Is there something that you did not used to take seriously, that you either now take seriously or wish that you had in the past (e.g., a relationship that you miss, your education, etc.)? Hm. I don't know. Are there any subjects that you are interested in so much that you would read whole books or academic journals about them? Meerkats, especially. I will read EVERY scientific article about them I find. Are you physically affectionate with your friends? I'm a hugger. When you were in middle school and high school, did you witness a lot of bullying? How did the teachers react to name-calling or violence? Not really, thankfully. Are any of your friends/relatives actually impressive artists or writers? Are you willing to share an example of their work? Yeah. I have a cousin who's really good at drawing, and my sister is a wonderful cake decorator. Do you drink more apple or orange juice? Orange. Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your gf/bf? My hypothetical bf/gf, no. Would you ever donate blood? I have before, and I would again if I knew I was hydrated enough and the opportunity was right there. Would you rather drink coffee or tea? Ugh, neither. Do you get easily embarrassed? YES. How long was your longest make out? TMI alert, like all night. If the person who hurt you most said they’re sorry would you believe them? I honestly don't know. Do you have sensitive skin? Very. What color is your mum's car? White. Do you live in an apartment? No. Do you have a pet fish? Nope. Are you happy with your eye color? I wish they were a more sapphire blue. Solid soap bar or liquid body wash? Absolutely liquid body wash. What color do you want your dream car to be? Baby pink. *-* Do you have more then one favorite band? I say I do, but at the same time I know Ozzy Osbourne will ALWAYS be #1. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship? In a relationship. But it's absolutely not something I'm about to force just for the sake of being in one. Would you be really upset if Facebook ceased to exist tomorrow? Nah. Have you or would you try shark meat? No to both. Do you know anyone that's pescatarian? No. Someone I watch on YouTube is, though. Are you shy or over confident around your crushes? Super shy. Do you think the govt. has a cure for cancer, but is hiding it from public? Hell, I think it's very well possible, but I lean more towards for financial hoarding, they simply don't further pursue potential cures that are discovered. I mean, just THINK about all the "future cures" you've read or heard about. It's fucking outrageous. It's all to fuel the medical industry. Okay, tin hat coming off. Last time you drank a diet soda? A very long time ago, because diet soda gives me a massive headache. Was your ex born in America? Only one wasn't. Name your favorite type of music and why. Metal. I for one just like the sound, and I find it very therapeutic when I'm especially mad or sad. Even when I'm in a good mood, I just enjoy it. I also feel that a lot of metal songs tell interesting stories and/or have very poetic lyrics. Do you own or have you read, or thought of reading any self-help books? I haven't, but I've considered it. Can you breakdance? Definitely not. Have you ever read a book and not understood it? If so which one? Yes. We were assigned this one war novel in middle school that was FUCKING AWFUL, like I was checked out the whole time. I don't remember its name or anything. Have you ever watched a movie and not understood it? If so which one? Yes; the Warcraft movie I mentioned in a recent survey. Orcs and their fucking deep-ass voice that I couldn't understand. Do you blowdry your hair? No. Tell me about your dream last night. Omfgggggg y'all. So, there's one invert pet that I've never understood the keeping appeal of, and that's giant centipedes. Their bites are notoriously excruciating, and they are just SO goddamn fast. Well, for some godforsaken reason, I wanted one as a pet. Got one, and it immediately got loose. Guess who wanted to shit herself lmao. Centipedes are very cool, but only from a distance, ya feel? Have you ever stayed in a fancy high-class rich hotel? No. Have you ever stayed in a rent-by-the-hour motel? I don't think so. Describe the worst fight you’ve ever been in whether physical or verbal. I'm not entirely sure about my *worst*, but I know it was with Mom. We've had a few. Have you heated any food in your microwave today? Yeah, a shrimp alfredo Lean Cuisine bowl. Do you own any items of clothing with cartoon characters on them? Yes. Have you ever played Animal Crossing? No, it doesn't seem like my kinda game. Do you own anything (e.g jewelry, accessories) with your initial on it? Yes, but none of which I personally bought because I don't really like them. Do you own any cats or dogs? What are their names? I have a cat named Roman. <3 Have you added any books to your shelves lately? Which? No. Have you bought any new cosmetics or toiletries lately? Which? No. Do your pets have a specific type of food that they prefer? Roman will eat whatever cat food he's given, while Venus, like your average ball python, is a picky eater. Like when I first got her, she wouldn't eat for almost a year because I just couldn't find a method through which she'd accept food. Now she consistently takes frozen/thawed small rats that have actually sat in warm water (versus doing it by hand under running water), and she generally won't strike it unless it's offered to her by tongs, but not dangling by the tail. Picky, picky miss thang. What's your favourite variety of apple? I'm not very particular about flavor so long as the apple is crisp. I canNOT do soft apples. Which of your physical features do you receive the most compliments about? My hair.

[rouge-the-bat]

OOPS I HAD STARTED THIS THEN SAVED AS A DRAFT TO FINISH LATER BUT THEN FORGOT SO ITS. BEEN A BIT SINCE I WAS ACTUALLY TAGGED FOR THIS LMAO

ANYWAYS i was tagged by @skayforrest :'33

Rules: Please make your own text post when answering these to avoid long posts. Highlight/bold what applies to you!

for me to make it easier for me to read im going for:

bold: definitely me :3

italics: kinda me!

strikethrough: not me at All

(subscript parenthesis): my comments! (bc im very rambly lol)

also changing // between different phrases to ♡♡ to make it easier for me to distinguish between phrases too owo

♡  Appearance ♡

I am over 5’5 ♡♡ I wear glasses/contacts ♡♡ I have blonde hair ♡♡ I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing ♡♡ I have one or more piercings (my ears!) ♡♡ I have at least one tattoo (i want to get one of a drawing ive made soon tho!) ♡♡ I have blue eyes ♡♡ I have dyed or highlighted my hair (its p much back to normal now tho- and i want to dye it pink someday) ♡♡ I have gotten plastic surgery ♡♡ I have or had braces ♡♡ I sunburn easily ♡♡ I have freckles ♡♡ I paint my nails (not super often but i have fun doing it occasionally owo!) ♡♡ I typically wear makeup (i rarely do and usually its just lispstick, with maybe eyshadow and/or eyeliner) ♡♡ I don’t often smile (i can be really smiley sometimes but i dont interact with others much (esp irl) so i tend to not emote a whole lot) ♡♡ I am pleased with how I look (im cute round n chubby!!) ♡♡ I prefer nike to adidas (i literally dont care) ♡♡ I wear baseball caps backwards

♡ Hobbies & Interests ♡

I play a sport (i play... wii sports and real life bowling sometimes at most :'3) ♡♡ I can play an instrument (its been a really long time but i learned clarinet from school band) ♡♡ I am artistic ♡♡ I know more than one language (id like to learn some tho, like japanese, french, and/or korean maybe?) ♡♡ I have won a trophy in some sort of competition (never a Literal trophy :O) ♡♡ I can cook or bake without a recipe ♡♡ I know how to swim ♡♡ I enjoy writing (i like to but school has made me anxious anytime i try now ;w;) ♡♡ I can do origami ♡♡ I prefer movies to tv shows ♡♡ I can execute a perfect somersault ♡♡ I enjoy singing (exclusively for singing along, i dont really ever sing on my own lol) ♡♡ I could survive in the wild on my own ♡♡ I have read a new book series this year ♡♡ I enjoy spending time with my friends (who wouldnt!! esp with my friends, theyre amazing :'3) ♡♡ I travel during school or work breaks (id like to travel more..) ♡♡ I can do a handstand

♡ Relationships ♡

I am in a relationship (my girlfriend is so wonderful 🥰) ♡♡ I have been single for over a year (been dating my gf for almost 2 full years now!) ♡♡ I have a crush (fictional crushes count right? bc i have a million of those lol) ♡♡ I have a best friend I have known for ten years ♡♡ My parents are together ♡♡ I have hooked up with my best friend (thats meaning sexual right? bc im sex repulsed and so is my gf whos my best friend so, absolutely not lol) ♡♡ I am adopted ♡♡ My crush has confessed to me (im p much always the first to confess lol) ♡♡ I have had a long-distance relationship (hopefully someday tho it wont be long distance :'3) ♡♡ I am an only child (dear god no i have. 1 full brother, 3 half brothers, 1 half sister, and 2 or 3 step brothers gjkxjfk) ♡♡ I give advice to my friends (im not the best with advice but i try when i can!!) ♡♡ I have made an online friend (all of my current friends are online!) ♡♡ I met up with someone I have met online (GOD I WISH)

♡ Aesthetics ♡

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell ♡♡ I have watched the sunrise (many times, after being awake all night bc im p mych nocturnal lol) ♡♡ I enjoy rainy days (god i love rain so much) ♡♡ I have slept under the stars (iirc im p sure ive slept in a tent for going camping before ??? but my memory sucks so im not sure if that happened or i just always wanted to gjkdjg) ♡♡ I meditate outside (maybe i should try that sometime..) ♡♡ The sound of chirping calms me ♡♡ I enjoy the smell of the beach (ive been to a beach just a couple times.. i dont remember what it smelled like) ♡♡ I know what snow tastes like (i eat snow EVERY time it snows here, esp to make snow cream) ♡♡ I listen to music to fall asleep (on occasion! always instrumental stuff, sometimes meant for relaxing or sometimes just a comfort song from a game i love) ♡♡ I enjoy thunderstorms ♡♡ I enjoy cloud watching ♡♡ I have attended a bonfire ♡♡ I pay close attention to colors (ofc ! i love colors and graphic design is my passion- but like Actually, im not quoting the meme lol) ♡♡ I find mystery in the ocean ♡♡ I enjoy hiking on nature paths (would REALLY need to be in the mood for it) ♡♡ Autumn is my favourite season (close ! i love the chilly air and aesthetic of autumn as well, but winter is my ultimate comfort season <3)

♡ Miscellaneous ♡

I can fall asleep in moving vehicles ♡♡ I am the mom friend (mom friend mode can activate on Occasion, but usually im silly bastard friend) ♡♡ I am involved in extracurricular activities (im not in school) ♡♡ I enjoy mexican food ♡♡ I can drive a stick-shift (i still havent learned how to drive yet owo;;) ♡♡ I believe in true love (probably not in a typical sense?) ♡♡ I make up scenarios to fall asleep (oh no, i make up scenarios constantly in my head throughout the day, i get way too invested in them so they usually keep me up if i think about them when trying to sleep) ♡♡ I sing in the shower ♡♡ I wish I lived in a superhero movie (i def wanna live in some fictional worlds, but superhero movies arent things im usually into) ♡♡ I have a canopy above my bed ♡♡ I am multiracial (im not super familiar with my ancestry rn, so idk. would like to know sometime tho) ♡♡ I am a redhead ♡♡ I own at least 3 dogs/cats (rn i have 2 dogs and 3 cats!)

and uhhh ill tag @spiiderbiites @miphelda @kipokin @queerplyke @ameila if yall wanna do it :3? (if yalld like i can go thru n supply a version of this without all of my font edits and comments!) AH WHOOPS I GOT A URL MESSED UP BUT XENOLEAF U CAN DO TOO IF U WANT

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Beauty Within the Fallen ch.VI

Summary: Two misfit twins come across an enchanted castle, home of a mysterious beast, and slowly begin to form a strong bond that just might survive through anything. Even evil demons.

AU and artwork belong to the beautiful and very talented @artsycrapfromsai​. Go give her some love, guys!!!

ch.V - ch.VII

~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days were wonderful. The journal, the beast, and the two children grew closer and closer, becoming good friends. While the children enjoyed including Ford in all things possible, reading and drawing with him, they had a special bond with Stan. So many times the journal watched as the beast played in the snow, making snow angels and snowmen with Dipper and Mabel, or witnessed them playing chess, or heard of their times together from Stan himself, and Ford was so very happy for Stan. Maybe after all these years, he will finally believe he wasn’t a monster.

Stan was always good with kids, but the twins were special. Mabel knitted him the promised red sweater within two days and even blessed it with a kiss, as was tradition. Stan bit his lip and put it on under his cloak and wore it proudly all day, only taking it off in fear of ripping it or ruining it. The evening of their first snowball fight, Stan joined the children at the table and was so hungry that he had forgotten his little secret and buried his face into his soup like an animal, leaving his silverware abandoned by his bowl and making a mess. He suddenly stopped, embarrassed, and grumpily wiped his dripping, furry chin with his knuckles. Dipper and Mabel, however, were not disturbed or digested, as he had predicted they would be. Dipper only smiled at him (he had assumed this was how a canine-like creature would eat) and Mabel grinned and picked up her bowl. “Yeah! Who needs spoons?!” And she drank her soup from the soul with a smile. Dipper did the same. Stan grinned, wiped himself clean, and picked up his bowl and lapped it. The spoons stood up, huffed and stuck their heads up high, and left the dining hall. The next day, in front of the fire as Dipper read a new book out-loud and Mabel worked on an orange sweater, it happened again. Stan made a hostile comment about his appearance. His tone was casual and even a little comedic, but his vocabulary was dark and unappreciated by the children. They exchanged looks before Mabel finally decided to say something. “Stan, I really don’t like that m-word.” “What? Might?” “No,” Mabel laid her knitting down on her lap and gave him a firm yet gentle look; it reminded Stan of his mother. “You’re not… It’s not… I… It’s not what’s on the outside that counts, it’s what’s on the inside!” Mabel finally settled on. “And you’re full of giant, sparkly, dusty, mushy piles of gold!” “Yeah man,” Dipper injected. “Aside from a few hiccups, you’ve been nothing but nice to us. Don’t put yourself down like that. You’re not a monster.” He added firmly. “Not to mention cute and fluffy! Mabel added, ruffling the gray fur on his arm. “For what it’s worth, we think you’re pretty awesome.” Stan was stunned. He swallowed a lump in his throat and turned his head away, trying to hide a sniff as he wiped at his eye. “Aw, Stan,” Mabel cooed. “Dude, are you crying?” Dipper asked with a smile and a raised eyebrow. “No, I’ve just got something in my eye, that’s all.” Stan grumbled. “Staff’s gotten lazy with the dusting. Wish they did as good a job as you kids with that ballroom.” Mabel and Dipper, who weren’t fooled, smiled with pride, having just finished the ballroom today, and they resumed their activities in peace. Later that evening, when Stan recalled the event as he prepared for bed, Ford laughed (or laughed as much as a journal can). I’ve been telling you the same thing for years. Stan can practically hear his brother’s know-it-all tone. “Yeah, well, it’s different when those two kids say it.” Stan snapped. “They’re not blood.” Uh-huh. “Shut up, Sixer.” ~~~~~~~~~~ Dipper tested the pulley system again while Mabel hitched Waddles up. There was a huge washing well in the castle, and though the servants would have been happy to do laundry, the twins wanted to test their invention in peace; they never did get to see if it was truly better than hand-washing. Mabel laid a trail of corn around the well and Waddles trotted along happily, then the kids sat with a book and waited. Rather than Dipper reading, he had Mabel read in order to practice, none of them having to hear someone coming along and stopping a girl from learning. The clothes inside the barrel were spinning and getting soapy. Dipper and Mabel smiled at that and resumed their reading. Their invention seemed to be working. A soft knock on the door interrupted them and Stan walked into the shack. “Hey kids, just wanted… Holy Moses! What is that?” The beast asked as he looked at the odd contraption. “It’s our washing machine!” Mabel cheered. “Dipper invented it…” “Don’t even try, Mabel.” Dipper teased and lightly shoved her by the shoulder. “It was your idea, I just helped you make it real.” “Wow.” Stan bent his knees and watched the clothes turn and clean themselves in the barrel as Waddles pulled it along the well. “That’s really impressive, kids. Really. Just… wow.” “So,” Dipper said hesitantly. “You don’t think it’s weird?” “Are you kidding? It’s super weird, but weird’s a good thing. I’ve never seen anything like it! It’s unique!” Stan ruffled their hair and smiled kindly down at them. “I’m proud of you little geniuses. You did good. You know what, we should make this a permanent thing, make all the laundry go by faster.” As Mabel smiled, her bottom lip trembled. Dipper looked away with a red face. Apart from Fiddleford, no one had ever praised one of he and Mabel’s inventions. For the first time in his life, Dipper didn’t feel a freak for being himself. ~~~~~~~~~~ Stan was admiring the ballroom again. Those kids did a good job with it. It sparkled and shined like a huge diamond. It looked more lively than it looked in thirty years. Everyone here felt more alive than they had felt in thirty years. Tapping noises could be heard as Soos hopped up to Stan. “Sup, boss?” “Just thinking.” “Ah.” Soos hopped up onto the piano and smiled at Melody, who smiled back, before drawing their attention back to the master of this castle. “Soos, Melody, I’m sorry.” “Oh,” Melody sighed. “It’s alright. It’ll all be over soon, you’ll see, sir. Once the kids’ guardian takes them home they’ll help you find a nice girl that will break the spell.” Stan snorted with a half-smile. “I don’t think that’s gonna work, but I guess you miss all the shots you don’t take.” His ear flickered. He lifted his head. “Hear that?” Soos and Melody listened, but heard nothing. Stan left the ballroom and listened. His advanced hearing picked up… groaning? Punching? Cautious, Stan followed the sound to the old chophouse in the garden. He opened it to find Dipper alone in there, but he was punching a makeshift dummy made out of wood. Stan watched as Dipper’s noodle arms launched little, uncoordinated fists at a t-shaped wooden figure. He smiled and shook his head before emerging from behind the door. “I thought you said you didn’t wanna fight.” Dipper jumped, short of breath, but when he saw Stan he relaxed and kicked the hay-covered floor. “That’s not what I said. I just don’t wanna join the army like all the other boys at school. I still wanna learn how to fight.” “Why?” “Cuz Mabel needs me to!” Dipper snapped. Stan gave him a funny look, a look he couldn’t quite pin as a warning or sympathetic, so Dipper sat against the wall of the shack and explained himself. “I can’t go off to war because Mabel needs me here. If I went away and never came back she would be heartbroken. She can’t lose anything else, she just can’t. She already lost Mom and Dad and Grandpa, if she lost me, her twin, she’d… she’d…” The twelve-year-old rested his forehead on his folded arms and tried to compose himself. “I can’t lose her either. That’s why I have to learn how to fight. We almost died, twice. She needs me to be able to look after her.” “Sounds to be it’s more like you need her. You need to make sure she’s okay.” Stan concluded. Dipper sighed. “Yeah.” Stan smiled and bent his knees to be closer to the boy. “Look, kid, trust me, I might not know much, but I do know a thing or two about twins. You two need each other equally, trust me. Don’t you dare think for a second that’s not true. Also, I think knowing where you’re needed most is a huge part of what being a man is, and right now you’re the best at it I know.” Dipper lifted his head and stared up at the beast, whose eyes sparkled warmly. He smiled and said, “Thanks, Stan.” “Anyways,” He stood up straight and motioned for Dipper to do the same. “Wood makes a crummy opponent. If you really wanna learn, I’ll teach you how to fight.” Dipper stood up and accepted the offer, and so Stan taught him how to give a good punch and dodge pretty well. ~~~~~~~~~~ Mabel was laughing over a story Ford had just written for her. They were having fun together, drawing pictures, playing games, and telling stories. A fun game to play was one they made up where Ford would have Mabel give him a collection of words and he would make up a story from such words. Since he found Dipper far more relatable, Ford was happy to bond with Mabel and get to know her better. She seemed lost in thought as she looked away, and Ford patiently waited for an explanation why. “Ford,” Mabel said quietly. “Fiddleford said books don’t lie; is that true?” Ford’s soul smiled warmly. This book certainly doesn’t lie. What is troubling you, my dear? “Can you see me?” Yes. “Am I ugly?” If Ford had a heart, it would have skipped a beat. Mabel mustered enough courage to look at him and was surprised to see the words not as elegantly printed like before. What makes you ask such a question? Mabel sighed and looked down at her hands in her lap. “Back in my village, there’s a lot of cute boys. Dipper calls me boy-crazy. I used to ask out a lot of guys, I mean, if you want something go and get it, but more and more just laughed at me. Called me a freak for liking to invent and read books. Said my cheeks were too fat and my teeth are too crooked and my hair is too greasy and…” Mabel’s voice cracked and failed her. Mabel, read what I have to say very carefully. Ford instructed. Mabel wiped her stinging eyes to see better. You are the most beautiful thing I have seen in thirty years. You are very beautiful, both inside and out. No one is as kind as you, nor as insightful and delightful to be around. You - and your brother, too, for that matter - have made me feel more alive that I have ever felt, even as a human. So don’t you dare think for one moment that you’re ugly or that something is wrong with you. Mabel’s bottom-lip trembled. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she mumbled, “C-C-Can I h-hug y-y-you?” She only asked because when she hugged the closed book, Ford would be unable to talk. Please do. Mabel carefully closed the journal and hugged him like a teddy bear. Mabel cried, spilling about everything. Not just about the insults, but over the loss of her parents, over Grandpa Shermie’s death, over being lost and scared and possibly never seeing Fiddleford again. Mabel tried not to cry on Ford’s pages, but she noticed a drop falling into the book when she began to pull away and she quickly flicked through the pages to try to find her mistake. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She cried. On a page, Ford quickly wrote, Don’t be sorry. Water does not damage me the way it does other books. I know you must be tired of reading this, but you just reminded me of Stanley. Mabel wiped her nose on her sleeve. “I did?” He used to cry on my open pages, ashamed and overcome with guilt. Still does sometimes. I do not mind; on the contrary, I am glad to be able to wipe your tears away. Mabel smiled, but still cried. She laid the journal open on the table and laid her little head on him, like he was a pillow, as she continued to cry. Out of the corner of her eye, the girl saw more comforting words on the pages. Don’t you worry, my dear. One day a boy will come along and have great interest in you and treat you right. “Th-There’s one boy,” Mabel whimpered, thinking of Gideon, “But he’s creepy. I told him I don’t like him and he won’t quit asking me out.” Shall I tell Stanley and send him in this boy’s direction? Mabel hiccuped a laugh. “N-No, that’s okay.” Regardless, one day your own prince will meet you and love you and love every part of you. Mabel cried a little harder, spilling more tears on the pages that were instantly soaked away. He and Stan were such amazing friends. She would do anything for them. “Don’t worry. I’ll help you and Stan break the curse.” She wept. “And when you’re human again, I give you lots of hugs and wipe away your tears.” Ford’s next words were very scraggly and a little hard to read. That would be lovely. ~~~~~~~~~~ The next day, Mabel was in the ballroom. She and Dipper were done cleaning, but she decided that she should sweep one more time, just in case. As she did, Melody played a soft tune while the girl sang a made-up song. “They'll be human again, oh yes human again, when a girl finally sets them all free. Cheeks a-blooming again, they're assuming again, they'll resume their long-lost joie de vivre. They'll be playing again, holidaying again, and we're praying it's ASAP. They’ll push and they’ll shove, they will all fall in love and finally be human again!” Mabel was soon dancing around with her broom, tapping her shoes and singing and having fun. Dipper and Stan, having just finished another fighting lesson, found her and were amused. Mabel ended with a dip of her broom and said, “Thanks.” “Don’t mention it.” The broom said and hopped away. “Nice to see this room being put to good use.” Stan quipped. “Hey!” Mabel said, getting an idea. “Why don't we use it?! We worked so hard to make it nice, what if we dressed up after dinner and had a dance party together! We can sing and dance together, it’ll be fun!” Stan chuckled and shook his head. “Sweetie, you do not want to hear this voice singing, trust me.” “Aw, c’mon,” Mabel begged. “How about it, Dip-Dip? Am I a genius or what?” “More like or what.” Dipper teased and then had to endure a punch on the shoulder. “But yeah, I think that sounds like fun.” “OH! We can even wear fancy clothes! We are in a castle! It’ll be so much fun! And I bet Ford would want to come!” “You’re crazy, kids,” Stan laughed, but smiled down at them with his hands on his hips. “But I like your gumption.” “I don’t know what that word means, but thank you.” “Alright, alright,” The beast smiled with twinkling eyes and asked, “You want a dance, you’ve got one! We could all use one. Tell Grenda to make you two clothes fit for a prince and princess, and after dinner we’ll all come back here for a dance.” The kids cheered and jumped around, high-fiving and running off to tell Grenda. Stan smiled proudly and left to get ready as well. Grenda wasn’t the only one busy that day. It seemed like all the servants were encouraged by the small makeshift party to make the castle look better. Soos and Wendy worked together to gather a team together to clean the whole castle from top to bottom. Candy had the kitchen fix a delicious meal and Grenda and her girls put forth their best effort for the new clothes. Even Pacifica the mirror found it in here to compliment the kids’ appearances. “Not bad, peasants. You clean up nice.” A dance. Ford wrote while Stan dried his fur, having just emerged from the tub. What a wonderful idea! You always were - dare I say it - a party animal. “Sweet Lord, Sixer,” Stan grumbled as he shook his long gray hair dry with a towel, his muscular chest exploded, free from his usual shirt. “It wasn’t even my idea, it was the kids’.” Stan about to disappear to get dressed, but he read his brother’s message first. Those children mean a lot to you, don’t they? Stan smiled softly and disappeared behind his cover for privacy. “Kinda a stupid question for a genius to ask, but yeah. Yeah, they’re good kids. It’ll… it’ll be hard to say goodbye.” Goodbye? What do you mean? When Stan peeked and saw those words, he sighed and said darkly, “Face it, Ford. Those kids won’t be around much longer. Soon enough that Fiddlenerd guy or whatever is gonna find them and take them home where they belong. They’ll finally be with their family again.” Ford’s pages were blank for awhile as Stan slowly got dressed. For being the “smart” twin, he had failed to think that far ahead. Stanley, they’ll come back. When Stan emerged, fully dressed in all but his top red coat, he shook his head at his brother’s words. “I doubt it. It’s dangerous in the woods. Once they leave they might never find this place again. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you should enjoy having them around while we’ve got a chance.” The sounds of Soos’ approach ended the conversation prematurely. “The little dudes are ready, dudes.” The hammer informed. “Thanks, Soos.” Stan said and picked up Ford and closed him. “Brave faces, Sixer.” Stan stood at the bottom of the stairs with Ford in his right arm and against his chest, his left tucked behind him. He was having a deja vu moment from standing to greet guests of the parties back in the day. Stan could hear giggling from the kids as they readied themselves, and soon walked down, the boy leading the girl. Stan’s jaw dropped, showing his sharp teeth. Dipper had left his hat behind, his hair just long enough to be tied back with a blue ribbon. He wore a strapping blue suit with gold trim, much like Stan’s suit (except his won was red), and he smiled proudly at his sister, at his right arm. Mabel grinned down at her friends, standing in a beautiful pink gown, definitely Grenda’s finest piece of work to date. She had short sleeves that fell off her shoulders and the dress ruffled pleasantly, just the right height. What’s more, her headband was gone and she wore a back-crown of pink flowers that matched her dress. Ford could feel Stan’s chest swelling with pride. Stan smiled as the kids walked down the stairs, and when they touched the floor, Stan bowed to them. Mabel and Dipper let go of each other and bowed low respectfully at their hosts. Then they all burst into giggles over the sophisticated nature and hurried to the ballroom. Not only Melody the piano, but every musical instrument in the castle was playing for the small party. Stan put Ford on a musician’s stand, open, so he could see and talk. Mabel took Dipper by both hands and they began to waltz together. Stan blinked in pleasant marvel that peasants could dance so well without any formal instruction. Holding hands rather than hips and arms, they laughed and spun. Mabel even lifted their held hands and spun Dipper. Stan laughed and Mabel skipped to him and grabbed his paws. “C’mon, don’t hug the wall!” She giggled and pulled him further onto the dancefloor. Stan waltzed with Mabel, Dipper smiling and watching. He was nervous at first, but the kids melted his worries away and Stan happily led Mabel in a dance. Soon she broke away and Dipper hopped in, both men unashamed to dance together. Then Mabel and Dipper danced. The trio were judging each other, taking turns, and then at the climax of the song they all held hands in a circle and spun and twirled until Stan hoisted them up and sat them on his shoulders. They laughed as the music stopped and they could see Ford writing. Bravo! Magnifique! Bravo, Dipper and Mabel! Well done, Stanley! “Another one!” Mabel cheered as the band of self-playing instruments began to play again. Stan put her and Dipper down and Mabel rushed to Ford, tenderly picking him up and closing him. “Here, you should have a turn, too.” Mabel bowed to the book and then hugged him close to her chest and did a simple two-step with him, not wanting to risk any pages flying out or dropping him. Stan smiled at the girl  dancing with his brother and he called, “Looking great, pumpkin!” “Thanks!” Mabel replied. Stan took Dipper’s hands and they danced, this time more crazy and less traditional. Stan even showed the boy his favorite cocky-dance and Dipper laughed and did it, too. For another hour, the party went on. Ford was mostly placed on the music-stand, explaining he liked it best to watch, and soon Mabel’s feet ached and Dipper was short of breath. All of them hot and sweaty, they went out to the huge balcony with Ford to cool down. Stan sat Ford on the polished stone and Dipper and Mabel sat with them, smiling with red cheeks. “Having fun, knuckleheads?” Stan asked. “Yeah,” Mabel breathed with a smile. “Thank you so much! We always have so much fun with you.” Stan ignored the heat in his face by changing the subject. “Who taught you two how to dance, anyway?” “Fiddleford.” Mabel said. “I used to step on his toes a lot and Dip-Dip here had no rhythm.” And she gently elbowed him. Stan, on the other hand, noticed how withdrawn Dipper was and how he was looking out at the forest below them. “What’s the matter, kid?” He asked gently. Dipper didn’t want to ruin the fun, but something heavy was on his heart. He gave Stan a sorrowful look and said, “I miss him. I just wish… I wish we knew if he was okay.” Mabel sagged a little, like a flower with no water, and took his hand. Stan’s ears drooped and he looked away, thinking about the situation. Maybe he should try to find Fiddleford again… wait. “I think I know just the guy that can help.” And he smiled down at the journal. “Ford?” Dipper asked. “Can you tell us where Fiddleford is?” Stan opened the journal. No. The kids were crestfallen again. “Oh.” But I can show you. Ford wrote, searching. Look at my hand. Stan closed the journal and the golden six-fingered hand shined before showing a reflection of Fiddleford. The kids gasped in horror as he was huddled by an old tree, coughing hoarsely, pale and freezing in the snow with a broken arm. Mabel’s eyes instantly filled with tears. “Fiddleford! Oh no! He needs help!” “What do we do?!” Dipper asked. Stan had no idea what to do. He opened the journal for an answer and found a map being drawn on a page. On the opposite page, words formed. This will show you the way to your guardian. Take it. “We can’t rip…” But before Dipper could finish, the page fell out of the journal and onto the floor. Ford had intentionally drawn it on the page he could feel falling out. Go. Was the only word left, and it did not fade away. Dipper folded the map and pocketed it in his coat. Stan looked down at Ford, doing some quick thinking. Stan saw no possible way of breaking the curse. No one would ever love Stan. The kids were about to leave and they were never coming back. If he couldn’t break the curse, maybe he could set Ford free, even if it meant they would never see each other again. Stan closed the book and held him out to the children. “Here. Take Stanford with you.” The kids stared at the journal, the golden hand twinkling in the moonlight. “What?!” Mabel shook her head. “We can’t do that! You’re a family, and family sticks together!” “Take him,” Stan said firmly. “You three should have each other. You can always look back and remember me, if you want to.” “No!” Mabel shook her head. “We won’t have to, cuz we’ll see you again! Soon! Once Fiddleford is okay, we’ll come visit you!” “Yeah man,” Dipper jumped in. “What are you acting like it’s goodbye for? We’ll see each other again, don’t worry. Come on, sis, let’s save Fiddleford.” Mabel ran with Dipper away to go save their only family left. Stan watched them go, his brother in his hands. He wasn’t sure what to believe. ~~~~~~~~~~ Gideon pounded the bed with his little chubby fists before settling down. It wasn’t fair! Crazy Old Man McGucket nearly got everyone in town lost in the woods and was now missing, too, all for nothing! Mabel was out there, probably ran away, and Gideon had no way to get to her! The whole thing was stupid, stupid, stupid! The ten-year-old soon relaxed, exhausted from the work, and fell asleep. It was a starry night sky, nothing more, nothing less. Gideon looked around and froze when a collection of stars made a triangle constellation. The constellation shined bright and in a flash appeared a triangle with one eye, a top hat and a bowtie, twirling a cane. “Well, well, Short Stack,” It said to the boy. “Having a little lady trouble, huh?” At once, Gideon’s fears were gone when he thought this thing might actually listen to him. “Yes! Mabel loves me, but something’s always been in the way!” “Right you are, but don’t worry, kid.” The triangle said. “I know exactly where she is! Get this, she and her brother were kidnapped by a dangerous monster, a ferocious beast, in the woods. The castle’s haunted and nearly impossible to find, but you’re destined to take this ugly beast down and save your damsel in distress.” “I KNEW IT!” Gideon cheered and punched the air. “Where’s my marshmallow?!” “Hold it, let’s shake on it, first.” Bill said and held out a hand that was engulfed in blue flames. “If I help you, you gotta agree to help me later in return.” “Deal.” And Gideon shook his hand. When Gideon woke up, in the same hand he shook, was a map as clear as a bell on how to find the monster. He snorted a laugh and got up to gather an angry mob.

~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note: Aw, geez. Lots to say. First off, can you imagine how PISSED I was not only that the live-action movie didn’t have Human Again, but on Disney+ that scene is deleted too! I might be the only one, but I LOVE that whole cleaning musical number and seeing Belle help Beast re-learn how to read. (I decided not to do that since Stan’s been practicing reading for over thirty years.) So, yeah, I put the song in here and adjusted it a bit. And yes, the twins cleaning the ballroom was forever foreshadowing, not just the dancing scene, but what the kids were doing to their new friends.

I wanted to give both kids what we were deprived of in the canon GF show: Dipper and Stan bonding and Ford and Mabel bonding. Yes, we got Boyz Crazy and the Last Mabelcorn, but I’m greedy and say that’s not enough. Also, Mabel’s dress, according to @artsycrapfromsai​, is supposed to be a fusion of her dress in the Northwest Manor and Belle’s dress, which I LOVE! (plz will someone draw it)

And now… yeah, I guess I can’t talk much about the cliffhanger without getting spoilery, huh? All I’ll stress is how many of the townsfolk were tired and cold and frustrated over the failed rescue mission when Gideon was throwing his little tantrum and that factor may play in later. Like why it takes so long to gather up a mob.