#also it's UGLY the cgi sucks and there's so much of it and the colors suck too
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fortunefavorsthebrave-dude · 6 months ago
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saw furiosa it was. a movie.
#sky speaks#honestly i just thinkw e did not need it#doesn't have the heart nor the spectacle of fury road#could not tell you about a single fight or chase scene#minus like the ********** that was the only sequence i really recall#in fairness i have seen fury road more. but also in fairness it has literally been less than two hours since i finished furiosa#so many reviews saying it's just as high octane as the first where. how. no it is not.#fury road is so trim not a single second of screentime is wasted#at several points during furiosa i was like i could probably go pee and miss very little rn#and it's LONG i hate how long movies are now we do not need it#where did the rock formations of the green place go. did they erode?? in 20 years???#fury road was all show don't tell again not an ounce of fat on that baby#this one is all tell and it's largely tell about stuff we already know#like. i don't think we needed to know how she came to the citadel and lost her arm and w/e#and her arc is so similar to the one in fury road#plus the sporadic narration is jarring#we managed to miss characters from fury road somehow??#where is miss giddy. where is the other son i forget his name#i think that actor may have died but still#idk it's fine it's not bad it's certainly no uprising#it's just. you don't need to see it. it doesn't need to exist#i would watch fury road a thousand more times before i revisited furiosa#also it's UGLY the cgi sucks and there's so much of it and the colors suck too#the editing is also so gd normal nothing like fury road#every time they played that one bit of the score i was like ooh okay something cool is gonna happen#nine times outta ten. it did not.#idk man i could nitpick forever but overall? if you haven't seen it don't rush to theaters#just wait for it on streaming#i wanted to see it in theaters for the Big Screen Experience but there's nothing in it that's better for seeing it that way
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lgbtqforeverything · 2 years ago
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shadow and bone: season 2 episode 8
- again: mal/alina/nikolai
- wylan you are literally carrying light bombs with you rn.
- oh my god this is so tense just kill him already
- THERE IS 55 MINUTES LEFT WHAT THE FUCK
- inej/zoya team up this is content for me
- i’m sure alina’s coat is really cool but i’m only thinking of cas supernatural rn
- hey can zoya just kill him please
- stab him girl
- i’m really sorry about your sword neyar :(
- babe. babe don’t.
- well shit. also nina definitely knows
- oh mal knows something is up
- twins/nikolai friendship my beloved
- kaz is seething with jealousy rn. bitch.
- jesper/inej friendship my beloved
- this means that nikolai knows who zoya is. hell yes.
- MY TAMADIA CRUMBS!!!
- kaz you fucking sap
- jesper you drama kid i love you
- i am not liking this change from ruin and rising so far
- oh that is a good line
- where! are! david! and! genya!
- matthias this is a bad idea.
- i love adrick so fucking much.
- if they killed david then fuck the renewal i am never watching this on platform again
- SO THEY BROUGHT DAVID’S DEATH FROM KOS BUT NOT ZOYALAI. FUCK NETFLIX
- zoya of the garden. zoya of the lost city. zoya kneeling in the snow.
- she is not ruined. she is ruination.
- OH MY FUCKING GOD. THE BEE??!!?!?!?
- again: thrupule.
- this sucks. this sucks ass actually.
- ya know when i first opened netflix today this show was the banner and the bio said it was like a cw show and this whole break up thing is giving real cw vibes. and fuck them for it.
- they’re really pulling the blade line like that? fuck them
- captain ghafa of the wraith
- i’m getting huge tangled vibes rn
- SHES SAYING THE FUCKING LINE OH MY GOD
- i was looking at amita’s ass as she walked away what happened
- TAMADIA *insert burning elmo meme*
- THIS IS FUCKING GAY. ITS GAY.
- this is such a group and i am living for it
- breaking up the twins and nikolai. i’m going to throw up.
- alright i’m just gunna say it. mal looks weird in the coat.
- oh my god look at nadia. i’m so fucking gay yall.
- LOOK AT INEJ.
- hell yes his tits are back this is great
- i am going to scream. keep him away from those bad cgi wolves.
- well. that sets that up nicely.
- is that a color??? on kaz???? and new cane! much better for stabbing eyes out
- oh please call him lev
- bitch can you just shut the fuck up he’s great
- ok so i can see how they could do kos from this
- also god damn. tits.
- nikolai looks hot and alina looks fake
- no wouldn’t bc in a perfect world you would have zoya >:(
- oh he said the line!!! nice
- that’s all we fucking get??? killing maiming tearing
- oh those colors are not complimenting zoya
- #girlbosses
- ok jesper and wylan are definitely worried about something
- THAT IS SUCH AN UGLY CROWN IM SCREAMING
- also that scepter looks fake as fuck
- so many blood capsules being popped
- oh alina. alina alina alina.
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Just watched Ever After for the first time ♡°♡ so pretty. Modern costuming can't hold a candle to that. Also the camera work in the scene where Danielle is chasing whatsherface the pretty step sister ♡♡♡ the fact that stuff looks REAL because it IS real and not cgi ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
It was a really good retelling of Cinderella too, I went into it blind besides seeing some of the costuming and very very vague memories of walking in on my mom watching it (I only remembered Danielle crying after the ball because my mom tried to shoo me away and told me to shut up when I asked why the pretty lady was crying... i was probably 4 or 5. I only remembered when I saw it though). My only compliant is that the "ugly" "fat" step sister wasn't even unattractive? And I felt like I was supposed to see her that way? She was about my size and stunning. I get that they needed an excuse to treat her poorly compaired to the bratty one and make her empathize with the main character but still. I like how she had time to develop her romance even if it was still rushed (five days is better than one night even if not by much).
But again the costuming ♡♡♡♡ I loved it so much. It made me want to go to a ren-faire, i haven't been to one in forever 😣 I couldn't help but compare the costumes to the ones in the live action Disney Cinderella and even Beauty and the Beast. Neither of which I have seen beyond promo material. They, to be frank (pun intended), SUCK. They are fucking awful and don't look like French aristocracy they look like modern trashy ballgowns made of tulle and no thought put into them beyond the color scheme (and Cindy was originally SILVER not blue, I fucking hate that marketing-blue shit, I like the animated one I will admit but in a passing way not a Disney adult way but I will fight over the color of her dress).
the make up was also nice, it didn't feel over done and fake, they would be realistic for me to do in 5-10 minutes.
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sauroff · 2 years ago
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in the actual series, in motion, the outfits and sets of ROP are actually incredibly beautiful. It's only when pedantic, incompetent tumblr users freeze-frame various weird angles and split-second transition shots that they can be made to look weird. It's the same logic that wretched youtubers use to complain about She-hulk looking weird by focusing obsessively on single frames of CGI with no consideration for motion and lighting, just without the underlying misogyny. It's really just the lowest tier of movie "criticism"
Hi Anon! Ok, look. I'm not so with you on this one. I DO consider that making a whole thing about those scales or any small details is silly (specially with how terrible last episode was). But I do think that the costume design in this show is bad in many aspects, which I'll expand below.
I have read people saying the outfits are ugly or look cheap. I don't agree. The costumes are gorgeous, and very well done. I love how natural they look, like they are actually worn, and not just a recently washed and ironed costume. I definitely don't think that a practical decision like the one on that post (printing the scales that show a little bit ON THE ARMPIT) is a bad one. BUT, the designs as designs suck. I'm not even talking about stylism (or however the part about the make up and hair is called, I always mess up that term), which is another problem entirely. I'm talking about how little each outfit tell us about the character wearing them. This is mostly for the elves, but also some humans (not Nmenor. Numenor looks great so far, even if the armors aren't my style). The feanorians stars (I guess they are Earendil's star now) in everything was a problem from the start. Then we have Celebrimbor's outfit, which, besides the small holly leaves on the sleeves, doesn't say a single fucking thing about this character. How are we supposed to pick up that he is a smith from that? a lord? We get nothing. ROP's Gil-Galad seems to have a bad relationship with dwarves, yet he is covered in dwarven looking runes all over??? And again, I like his clothes, they look gorgeous. But why all the gold? isn't silver more precious to elves? Doesn't his name mean something like radiant star? I love the whole blue-green & golden yellow palette for the elves, I love the photography of each scene in Lindon. But when it comes to protagonists, the costumes should be more about them and less about fitting the scenary (althought that is a very imporart part of the design too, yes). And I will avoid talking about the veiled ladies. At first I thought it was nice, but after seeing how they seem to be there only to be like faceless servants, now I think it's awfully sexist. The dwarves have some great designs, but they lack uniformity. You have some mix of roman and art noveau influences that look gorgeous, and then there are some dwarves like that lady with the helmet that has an armor with pointy boobs that looks like a viking caricature. It's weird. Numenor is nice because there is uniformity in them, a very nice color palette that fits and themes that are repeated (maybe too much) in everyone. Those and the Hardfoots are the only designs I fully love.
These are small things, but that's costume design, at least for me. The Hobbit's costume design for me is genius (and I'm offended that LotR won an oscar for it's design while The Hobbit was only nominated like once). I love its design in general (the whole stylism and creature designs too), but the costumes in particular are VERY detailed, with every dwarf having it's own geometric pattern repeated in different ways on their clothes. That's beautiful. I shared that post because I'm actually surprised to know that this is the same costume designer as Crimson Peak. I feel like there is probably diffent teams in charge of the designs of different parts of it, and because of the times and the colosal size of the project, some sacrifices were made, and not all the areas got the same careful selection. I don't think the head designer is bad, or any of the designers working on it for that matter. I feel like the persons making the choices, who are usually the ones that know nothing about design (and I'm saying this as a designer), fucked up a lot. And the designers must have been really frustrated, and probably overworked.
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locktobre · 4 years ago
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Can I ask what you didn't like about Snow's design in RBTI? Maybe an opinion of each princess shown in the film if you're willing? Honestly all the princesses of color looked pretty bad to me and Cinderella right after them.
Sure, I’ll rant for a minute lol
I think, in general, the RBTI designs were very bad. It was fun to have the scene and see them interacting, but I think that they just didn’t do a good job on them visually. And the thing that sucks the most is that many of the princesses had been translated into CGI before, either in Sofia the First or Kingdom Hearts... and they managed to do it worse. This is Pixar. This is supposed to be one of the gold standards for animation and character design, and they did it BADLY. Plus, they all looked very samey. They removed any stylization unique to their movies, which doesn’t even make sense bc the WIRverse has characters with different styles interacting all the time. It’s like they were TRYING to be lazy about it. And then there was the Tiana controversy, which just proves that they weren’t trying for shit. Just bad. (I also don’t like the movie, so that doesn’t help.)
Anyway, my opinion of the individual princesses, in order:
Snow: She just sucked. Like I said, see her designs in Sofia the First and Kingdom Hearts to see it done better. But the thing I think bothers me the most is her hair. It’s like they didn’t know what to do with it, and I know her hairstyle can confuse some ppl, but you’d think Disney would get it right. She’s got 30s hair! That’s NOT how it’s supposed to look! And she had the same samey big-eyed skinny design as the others, bleh.
Cinderella: Ugly, looks like a little kid, has huge ears which is hilarious considering that a staple of her character design for years was not being able to see her ears. I think they translated her hair badly too, even tho there has been a shift in recent years to a more simple bun for her stock art, but they didn’t even do that right.
Aurora: Hated the way they did her bangs, kiddish face, I don’t even like the pink dress but they didn’t do it justice.
Ariel: I think Ariel was actually one of the more okay ones, bc she was already in the Glen Keane huge-eye style (since she was designed by him), but I wish they had picked a different shade of pink for her dress. Or just done the teal version that she’s usually marketed in anyway. I know ppl love the pink dress but I don’t lol.
Belle: One of the more okay ones, except for her face. The dress looked fine. But her chin was too sharp/not the right shape, and again, the huge eyes.
Jasmine: I don’t think her hair translated well to CG, which I’m more forgiving about bc it’s a very stylized hairstyle, so it’s not as easy to tell what it’s supposed to look like. But still, not a great look. She’s another of the okay ones to me, but I don’t have strong opinions on her to begin with.
P*cahontas: Bad. Even setting aside how much I dislike the character, she doesn’t look anything like her movie counterpart, from her face to her skintone. All around bad.
Mulan: The shape of her nose and chin are off, and I think the big eyes look particularly bad on her.
Tiana: There was the whole fiasco about her skintone, showing how much they just didn’t care when designing them. Her nose and the shape of her chin are off. (See a theme?) She had another pretty stylized big-eyed design that should have translated well, but didn’t.
Rapunzel: Unrecognizable, and especially egregious considering she was a CGI princess to begin with! They totally baby-faced her! They cut down everything soft and pretty about her and she just looks like a kid in a Rapunzel wig.
Merida: They gave her such HUGE eyes, and she looked like a mutant. Merida has a very unique design, and they just tossed it out the window. Bad. Very ugly. Idk who that was but it wasn’t Merida.
Elsa: They managed to make her stupid braid look even stupider, with how tall her hair was. I didn’t know that was possible but they managed it. Again, baby-faced, but also with that trademark Elsa makeup! Really creepy!
Anna: I will always stan her in any form, but she still looked bad. They only thing I actually liked about her design was that they made her face more angular, since she and Elsa both have such round faces in canon. But still, doesn’t look like herself at all.
Moana: Nose is off, chin is off, baby-faced her when she was already baby-faced... Ugly. Also, the fact that she was just as skinny as the other princesses even tho ppl love to claim her as curvy. Personally I don’t think of her as curvy at all, just a little more muscular than your average princess, but seeing her rail-thin was a trip.
As I said, I think pretty much all of them were done better in Kingdom Hearts and/or Sofia the First, as I mentioned. The Sofia designs were a bit more stylized, to fit into the show, but I think the changes they made were better ones, and they still managed to look more like themselves. For RBTI, it feels like they deliberately made them all look very much the same, and you can’t excuse that with “style,” that’s literally just laziness.
I’m also just a serious person and I don’t like some of the jokes they made. Like, having Aurora be narcoleptic is a common joke, but it’s also... not funny to me. She didn’t “fall asleep,” she was cursed, and she would have died if Merryweather hadn’t changed the spell! I know they’re not the actual Disney Princesses (they’re just the avatars of them on that particular site) but it still just feels weird and wrong, especially coming right from Disney’s own mouth. And them making fun of Merida’s accent? Eesh. That’s writing, tho, not character design.
Anyway, I don’t have strong feelings on a lot of them, but when I look at them it’s literally seeing them caricatured... by their own company... and it’s just weird and I hate it.
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a-doq · 5 years ago
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lion king thinkpiece under the cut:
hoo boy lmao. i honestly really wanted to enjoy it! i wanted to have a fun time! the lion king is one of my favorite movies of all time. one of my earliest memories is watching it obsessively at home. it was my family’s first VHS. i got the platinum edition dvd as a birthday gift from my family when i was younger. i’ve seen the broadway musical. i’ve seen the movie several times before in theaters during re-releases. i had a fucking lion king themed sleeping bag, sweater, tool bucket, watch, computer game, pajama set, and christmas ornament.
so anyway this movie sucked. and that really sucks because the lion king means so much to me! i tried to enjoy it as much as i could. but by the end i was honestly bored and sick of it and just wanted to leave the theater and do something else.
i’m going to go scene-by-scene here and explain my biggest thoughts (so “spoiler” warning i guess lmao):
circle of life: whatever it was fine. instead of starting out with a loud yell and then the screen fades in from black, in this version there’s a static shot of the landscape that holds for like ~5 seconds before the sun starts to rise and THEN the yell starts. the first thing that honestly popped into my mind was “this reminds me of the teletubbies opening sequence” LMAO
Scar’s intro: new scar is mostly fine. the actor is clearly trying his very best and i appreciate that. it’s tough to take it seriously because it’s basically an ugly-ass CGI lion walking around talking about being evil and it kills my suspension of disbelief a bit. john oliver is annoying as FUCK as zazu which is super disappointing. obviously zazu was supposed to be annoying in the original too but he was also formal, respectful, neurotic, and caring. in this version he’s given some more dialogue that makes him sound like a complete dickhead at all times. james earl jones constantly sounds like he’s out of breath and is going to keel over. THAT in particular is super jarring because i know all of mufasa’s lines and delivery by heart and it just emphasizes how inferior this version is.
young simba: voice is fine. definitely upped the cute factor. BUT they also changed his character to be... stupider? and it honestly makes his character annoying. simba shouldn’t be annyoing! in the original simba KNEW that the elephant graveyard was dangerous but explored it anyways because he was immature. in this one he doesn’t even know that the elephant graveyard is dangerous because he’s stupid. he ignores what people tell him straight to his face and just acts like a dipshit.
stampede: ya lol. ragdoll mufasa is unintentionally hilarious. idk if any of y’all have seen the leaked recording but yes it’s just as bad. also, the point of mufasa’s death scene is that it’s simba’s first experience with death. in the original, when simba is tugging on mufasa’s ear to get him to wake up, you get the sense that simba doesn’t really understand what death is. in this version, he just lightly taps mufasa’s forehead, then immediately assumes he’s dead, and just accepts it?? ALSO, the cinematography of the stampede scene is weird. in the animated film, as soon as the stampede starts, the lighting and background transform from bright and sunny into extremely dusty, so that you can’t discern left vs right. in this version it’s STILL LEFT BRIGHT AND SUNNY WHILE SIMBA AND MUFASA ARE FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES which is like... fucking WHY. there’s a few jumpscare-esque action moments of mufasa getting the shit beaten out of him by the stampede which i actually liked and thought added to the tension of the scene.
timon and pumbaa: overstay their welcome, yet ironically are the only emotional magnets in the second half of the movie. i hope y’all enjoyed the hakuna matata excerpt that was released by disney, because that’s the only emotion you’re going to get out of donald glover in this entire movie. EXTREMELY important scenes to simba’s character are completely cut out and replaced with nothing:
-simba collapsing on a cliff in mourning after talking about his father living on in the stars
-simba pacing and talking to himself about why going back would be pointless, then screaming at the sky “you said you’d always be there for me” and crying
-rafiki whacking simba over the head, and teaching him that the past can hurt, but it’s important to learn from it.
-simba cornering scar, telling him that he’s a murderer and that he doesn’t deserve to live after what he’s done
also, all the emotional scenes that they DID leave intact feel hollow. not only do the characters not show any facial emotions (which has been bitched to death on the internet), but they literally DO NOT MOVE THEIR BODIES AT ALLLL. for the ENTIRE second half of the movie the characters are either just standing there or running in order to change scenes. the scene with mufasa’s ghost? simba just stood there THE ENTIRE TIME AND LITERALLY DID NOT MOVE. no shots of him gazing up at the sky, no shots of him running through the field after his father. the whole thing is just shot-reverse-shot. but because they didn’t bother to animate mufasa in the sky (it’s literally just james earl jones’s voice with a few shots of lightning), it just looks like simba is standing there, having a conversation with the fucking sky, like he’s having a schizophrenic episode. when simba returns to the pride lands, they didn’t even bother to animate his head looking around at the destruction. when mufasa dies, they didn’t even bother to animate his ears going back, or his body crouching, or his fur bristling, or his tail tucking under his legs... he just STANDS THERE while the voice actor is “crying” and it’s so awkward lmao. 
miscellaneous nitpicks:
-the movie is REALLY fucking quiet. it might’ve just been my theater, and i know that kid’s movies are played at a lower volume so as not to damage their hearing, but this was just abnormally low. i had a hard time even hearing the music half the time.
-the entire movie is very dark and unsaturated. “i just can’t wait to be king” is the most colorful the movie looks. everything after that is ugly
-pride rock looks extremely... short? and not tall at all? it looks like 10 feet tall at most. it doesn’t feel majestic at all. it just feels like some boulder.
-”he lives in you” wasn’t included in the movie even though it was released in the soundtrack... why? fucking why? the placement of that song in the musical is excellent and greatly enhances the story. but whatever i guess! gotta make room for a 30 second excerpt of beyonce’s song.
-there a weird scene included in the movie, where, instead of rafiki learning that simba’s alive through the wind, a literal tuft of simba’s mane falls out, is carried by the wind, GETS EATEN BY A GIRAFFE AND THEN COMES OUT IN A BALL OF SHIT, WHICH IS THEN ROLLED AROUND BY A DUNG BEETLE??? WHICH RAFIKI THEN USES TO LEARN THAT SIMBA IS ALIVE. and the whole thing lasts for like 4 minutes??? what the fuck??
-simba and rafiki exchange like 3 lines of dialogue max lol
-kids will be bored. by about 3/4 of the way through the movie all of the kids in my theater collectively stopped giving a shit and were just wrestling with each other on the floor
so yah. if you want to see a version of the lion king with all of the melodrama systematically stripped away for some reason, with all of the unique cinematography from the original replaced with shot-reverse-shot, watch this lazy remake.
at least my girlfriend’s seat was broken so the ticket guy gave us a free voucher to see another movie together in the future.
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horrorgay · 6 years ago
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honestly .... i trust ur star wars opinion, is solo worth the watch ??
Here’s the thing. 
In my opinion, it was an enjoyable watch similar to how infinity war is enjoyable to watch. Like it wasn’t, in movie terms, bad to watch.
TLDR; If you are interested in some new world-building, and want a rogue one esque film to watch, it’s pretty okay. If you’re tired of the trends of Disney/Lucas Film movie missteps though, go in expecting to be a little/a lot disappointed. It feels like it fits better into Firefly/Serenity than the Star Wars universe as we’ve seen it so far. 
Imma break down my review under the readmore, trying to keep it as nonspoilery as possible.
Characters (aka what I most enjoy about movies):
I don’t care about Han Solo, and this movie didn’t really make me care any less or more about him. He was just there as the character that drove the plot forward so I could see the other characters? I don’t hate Han. He’s just. not the most interesting character. Alden played a han-like character but he just doesn’t look like Han and his Han was kind of like if they told him to play “Han Solo but Not Han Solo so we don’t get sued” y’know?
Chewie was chewie. It was nice to see him get more depth to his story! (this adds a lot) They didn’t really callback to the canon clone wars plotline with him which I was disappointed about.
Qi’ra was interesting enough, in my opinion, but not because of anything that had to do with Han. If she’d been the main character instead of Han it would’ve been more interesting, though even then I wouldn’t choose her for a stand alone movie. Also like yay a white brunette lead! Plus its Miss. KK’s classic white feminism that somehow devolves to her female leads facing violence and abuse at the hands of their “love interest”. (Not Han). There is a lot to unpack with Qi’ra. 
I loved Lando in it. And I did love L3 (the robot) and I thought their dymanic was pretty fucking neat albeit weird and not great or needed versions of pansexual representation. Lando and Han were pretty gay too, but as is all queer-baiting, not enough so that the straight audience the movie was meant for picked up on it. Essentially Lando’s sexuality was a cop-out. Glover in my opinion nailed Lando. The entire time I was watching I was convinced that he was in fact Lando Calrissian, just younger. 
Beckett’s crew was interesting and nice!  I do think that if Val and Beckett had switched places in the plot I would have loved the movie. Beckett is just…..yknow, a classic don’t trust anyone not even urself criminal. They severely underused Val and Thandie Newton’s talent, which is no surprise because it is Hollywood and also Lucas Film. 
Dryden Vos was textbook immoral crimelord. Not much for him or against him as a character. He was just there to give fuel to Qi’ra (and I guess to Han) which I suppose makes an interesting dynamic. 
Enfys Nest was !!!!!!!!!!!!! very good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all. If you gotta watch the movie do it for her.jpg.
Story:
It’s a heist/robbery story, which you know, it’s nice to get new types of storylines in the star wars cinematic universe that don’t revolve around the skywalkers. In fact there’s no callback to Darth Vader even. It’s just the empire being shitty, and criminals being criminals. It gave me strong Firefly/Serenity vibes. Mostly because of Beckett and y’know, stealing.
I’d say the most enjoyable part is the Kessel Run, because finally we get some context to Han’s classic line. 
It flowed decently, though the first ten minutes really just slam you into Han/Qi’ra, which I thought was a bad decision since you’re still trying to even adjust to Alden as Han. I didn’t find the relationship between Han and Qi’ra that compelling, even though the movie really wanted you to care.
It clearly sets up a potential follow-up with Qi’ra and her….boss. Which honestly could be really interesting?????????? Mostly because of the storylines her boss could unlock for Lucas Film. Even the mention of Dathomir had me shaking in my boots. 
The plot itself in terms of all movies was nothing special. 
Cinnamontopography:
This movie has the color palette of concrete, with few exceptions (mostly just from glowing dashboard lights, laser shots etc.) The Kessel Run scene was hands down the prettiest. The CGI was okay. There weren’t really any ugly scenes special effects wise. Definitely not as colorful/pretty as The Force Awakens. Overall, I’m indifferent about this aspect.
The acting was decent, but I think Alden and Emilia were the weak-points which sucks because they were the driving parts of the story.
Honestly my main problems are yet again the under-use/deaths of the interesting characters/representation. If either Lando, Qi’ra, or even Enfys had been the main character, but with the same story, it would have been much more interesting. 
I also strongly believe Val should have had the role Beckett had in the movie. 
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mnemehoshiko · 7 years ago
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Star Wars: The Last Jedi [BULLETPOINT TRASH EDITION]
A  SPOILERS AND OPINIONS ABOUND AND POOR FORMATTING CHOICES
(with bonus citing of external canon sources mainly the visual dictionary leaks)
Short version: I FUCKING LOVED THIS MOVIE ON SO MANY LEVELS AND IASDFSDFDASFASDSFDSFDSFSSAFDSADFSDF
Long version:
I enjoyed TFA. But it was very much a safe remake movie because JJ can literally only do remakes and monster movies. I’m also still bitter over Into Darkness BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU’RE HERE FOR SO I’M GONNA MOVE ON.
I really enjoyed Rogue One. It broke new ground etc etc but it had the freedom to do that because it wasn’t dependent on anything ultra important.
TLJ had the awkward positioning of figuring out how to move the main story forward in new and interesting ways AND not remake ESB. And I’m going to be super honest, I was 20% certain they were going to go Rey Skywalker??? Mainly because fanboys are amazingly uncreative but also because it would be a very safe way to go. Ohhhhh, of course Rey has the force. It’s because she’s of the Skywalker bloodline. ALL MAKES SENSE IN THE WORLD AGAIN.
As soon as Luke tossed that saber off the cliff, I knew that all my expectations were going to be subverted. AND IT WAS AMAZING!!!!
AND ON THE TOPIC OF LUKE, there seems to be two camps the
HELL YEAH LUKE SKYWALKER camp or the
OMG RIAN YOU RUINED STAR WARS AND LUKE ANDFS@#EWREWRWE camp, to which I’m like
so like did you watch the Original Trilogy my dudes?
No really did you watch the “OMG SHE’S PRETTY WE TOTALLY NEED TO RESCUE HER!!”
the “WELP BRB HEADING TO DAGOBAH WITH NO WARNING BECAUSE REASONS!!!!”
“NO WAIT MY FRIENDS NEED MY HELP SORRY GOTTA GO”
“BRB I JUST GOT MY WORLD VIEW TRAUMATIZED AND I NEED TO FALL IN THE ABYSS LIKE AN EXTRA (TM) BITCH”
“OH HEY I’M GONNA FIGHT MY DAD IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT I HAVE NO TRAINING WHATSOEVER BECAUSE YOLOOOOOOOOO”
like Luke Skywalker lives on impulse 
much like his father
like according to the visual dictionary, Leia was supposed to be his first student and she like said no due to like politics and family stuff
but lbr she probably looked at Luke YOLO Skywalker and was like....yeah no my dude you are a messssss
never be the first grad student
also like IF REYSKY was a thing
you’re basically saying 
YES I WANT MY HERO LUKE SKYWALKER
TO DROP A KID OF A SANDY WASTELAND THAT EVEN HE BELIEVES IS NOWHERE
which like my dude, he’s from Tatooine and if he’s saying Jakku is nowhere. then like that place is like purgatory
like I STRONGLY BELIEVE if like Rey was his kid he AT LEAST would have dropped her 
somewhere with reliable foster parents
and like water
LOTS OF WATER
OKAY I’M DONE RANTING ABOUT THIS
ANYWAY like I can totally believe with like Luke seeing the #darkness + probably Snoke’s influence in his head his immediate response was OMG WE GOTTA KILL IT and then went...oh wait this....is not a chill idea maybe we should talk shit out first/meditate etc
and like IMMEDIATE REGRET AFTERWARDS
honestly this is like textbook Male Skywalker bullshit 101
I HAVE DONE A THING!!!  i regret everything now
THIS IS A HORRIBLE SEGUE BUT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY AVENGING SPACE ANGEL LEIA ORGANA!!!!!
*CRIES A LOT*
RIAN JUST LOVES LEIA AND CARRIE SO MUCH
*UGLY SOBBING*
LEIA USED THE FORCE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!
EAT IT FANBOYS!!!
FUCKING IT!!!
LIKE I KNEW BUT LIKE PURE PROOF IN FUCKING CANON
LEIA! IS! FUCKING! FORCE! SENSITIVE!!!!!
also i’m 99% certain Luke didn’t teach it her that trick so like my homegirl literally DID THAT
i just love leia so fukcing much and yes okay the cgi was kind of wonky BUT I DON’T GIVE A FUCK BECAUSE MY GENEARAL/PRINCESS JUST USED THE FORCE LIKE A BOSS THAT SHE IS
Also i just love Leia so much in this
like That Shot on Crait with her eyes over the collar is like 
POETIC CINEMA
no really someone hook a girl up and give me that shot as a lock screen
Also that scene post mutiny showing up in a 3000-thread count couture bathrobe, a matching cane, and blaster? #AESTHETIC
also personal opinion but Billie Lourd in that scene wasn’t acting as much as oh god i’m in trouble face that all children go through
**MORE UGLY SOBBING*
OKAY LETS TALK ABOUT POE ONLY BECAUSE IT’S MY BLOG AND I DO WANT I WANT
*steps on step stool*
I DID NOT CARE ABOUT POE DAMERON IN TFA BECAUSE IT WAS SUPER OBVIOUS THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE AND ONLY GOT TO LIVE BECAUSE OSCAR ASKED JJ TO LIVE AND OSCAR ISAAC IS PRETTY BUT LIKE THAT’S ALL I GOT OUT OF THE MOVIE.
*climbs off soapbox* Poe in this film GAINED SOME DEPTH, sadly it seems to be very polarizing and I think that’s in part due to the fact that it’s pulling on backstory from the EU, primarily Shattered Empire and the Poe Dameron Comics. Shattered Empire doesn’t directly include Poe but it involves his parents, Shara Bey and Kes Dameron. His mom, Shara, went on a mission with Leia and some others for some reason I can’t remember BUT ANYWAY SHE’S A BOSS. A HERO OF THE REBELLION. Poe literally grew up around heroes. One of his squad mates in Poe Dameron is another hero from the rebellion. He has a very wide-eyed view on the concept of heroism? For him it’s daring deeds and important war-changing missions, he’s very much a soldier and not at a leader. At least not yet. You get this immediately from the fight scene with First Order and the bombing run and the aftermath of it. 
Poe sees what’s in front of him which is a destroyed Star Destroyer (?), Leia sees the whole picture which is a single ship destroyed at the cost of a significant part of their fleet. Yes, there were heroes but a resistance can’t survive on dead heroes.
You see this again in his willingness to go after the high-risk plan to somehow hack the main ship to get them to stop tracking them. He’s thinking YES THIS IS THE BOLD PLAN MISSION OF MY DREAMS!!! Except it fails, and yes I completely understand that this could have been avoid with like communication but to embark on communication? You need to let go of your ego. Ego is not a BAD THING, but sometimes it can prevent us from being our best self. The best leader we can be. And Poe does learn this as you can see with Leia passing the baton of leadership to Poe on Crait. As Poe realizes that a dramatic last stand isn’t worth the loss. It’s better to run to let the rebellion live than to die in a burst of glory. Those are the hard choices a leader has to make.
OKAY MOVING ON BECAUSE I SUCK AT TRANSITIONS, LETS TALK ABOUT ONE OF MY SONS, FINN TICO
I LOVE MY SON AND HIS TRANSITION FROM BEING A MERE FIRST ORDER DEFECTOR TO A MEMBER OF THE REBELLION !!!!!!! First I loved the fact that his characterization followed naturally from TFA which TO RECAP consisted of:
 realizing that the First Order is a horrible idea; 
getting the fuck out via some convenient pilot dude who (supposedly) dies; 
meeting a girl who STRAIGHT UP ATTACKS HIM under the hearsay of a droid
realizing she’s the BEST THING SINCE TROOPER RATIONS and attempting to flirt because running away from a organization is best done in at least a pair
getting caught up in Resistance nonsense you are 1000% Not Here for because YOU KNOW THE FIRST ORDER and you know losing odds
aforementioned Girl is taken by the First Order and you’re like WELP GUESS I GOTTA TEMPORARILY JOIN this horrible idea to save girl
Tries to save girl but gets knocked out
END OF MOVIE
TLJ PICKS UP immediately after this in which his first and only thought is FIND REY AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS NONSENSE. THIS IS NOT WORTH DYING FOR Y’ALL ARE CRAZY. Which lets be real, you’re dealing with an organization.....that can destroy an entire space system that you have personal experience with. You’ve just been attacked by the First Order, the Resistance is worse off than they were BEFORE YOU WENT TO (attempt) SAVE REY. Finn’s main priority is WELP THIS IS A LOSING CAUSE GONNA GET MY FRIEND AND BOUNCE BECAUSE I DON’T WANT HER TO DIE.
Then it hit’s him like a shock. Figuratively and literally because Rose shows up.
BEFORE I TALK ABOUT ROSE I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT PAIGE ALSO KNOWN AS i was pretty sure she was gonna die but it felt natural-ish and I also know need to buy Cobalt Squadron for like TICO SISTER FEELS. But during that bombing run you immediately got the sense of
what she was doing was already extremely risky
YOU’RE IN SHIP FULL OF BOMBS
and that her last moments were of someone incredibly important to her
and like eventually TO ALL OF US AND MEEEE
I’m going to be honest and say that this plot was probably the weakest for the audience and for me. I understood what they were trying to cover but I feel some sections got cut for the final version.
BUT BACK TO CHARACTERS, FINN!!!!
had to deal with the struggle of moving past Rey as his sole guiding focus of his story?
Also people are like OMG WHY IS HE SO WIDE EYED ON CANTO BIGHT?!?! THAT’S OOC!!!
and i’m like my dudes
he’s never been outside of the pod of stormtroopers like EVER
HE’S FROM A LIFE OF MONOCHROME AND NOW INFUSED IN A LIFE OF COLOR
Finn: OMG THIS PLACE IS AWESOME Rose: this place is trash and I’m gonna fight it
Also can I give a shout out to that section where he’s explaining the plan to Poe and like Rose is like AHEM I’M HAPPY TO HAVE A FELLOW NERD BUT ALSO I CAN TALK!!!!
Poe on the otherhand is like....ah yes...cute nerds are talking....OH WE CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP FOR FREEDOM!!! YES SOUNDS GREAT!!!
Also his interactions with DJ are essentially him seeing a potential future for himself
and like trash meta moment, unlike Kylo “I Make Poor Life Choices” Ren, he makes the decision to reject that future for himself.
Like Finn’s arc in this movie I would argue is to stop being a passive observer in the narrative and to start CLAIMING his space in the narrative that is Star Wars
like FANON!Finn is very much the Resistance automatically accepting him and him become The Dude in The Resistance
this movie ACTUALLY DID THE CHARACTER WORK for him to become a leader in the Resistance
Look I really love Finn and he finally got the character development he deservessssss
MOVING ON TO MY NEWEST DAUGHTER!!!!
ROSE!!! TICO!!! BEST DAUGHTER!! GOOD DAUGHTER!!! MY SMOL ENGINEER!!
Okay, first off. I will like forever and ever be thankful to Rian for casting Kelly Marie Tran SO JOT THAT SHIT DOWN
BUT MNEME SHE ABUSED--
finish that sentence and i will unhinge my maw to consume your filthy soul
AHEM, I mean you’re entitled to your opinions
which are wrong
SERIOUSLY THO, every time someone goes “Rose straight-up shocked a black boy till he passed out!!!!!” I’m like
okay one, he’s canonically 23 years  old
like as a black woman and one with a little brother I’m very cognizant of the impact of black violence in media and the constant view of black boys as adults
but also HE’S 23
two, Rey straight up clobbered him under the hearsay of BB-8 saying that “oh that dude has my dad’s jacket” compared to Rose catching him escaping via escape pods after catching 2/3 people doing the same thing earlier that day + losing her only living family
like if this is the hill you want to die on!?!?!?!?
I JUST REALLY ROSE BECAUSE SHE’S THE ENGINEER TAKE NO SHIT DISNEY PRINCESS OF MY COLD DEAD HEART SPACE
I just she’s so quick and smart but  get put into the ANTI-SOCIAL ASSHOLE BOX???
like yes she’s very good and detailed at her job
She also wants to fight everyone
like if i wrote an academia au (but Mneme you do---) she would be like the HELLO CLASS THIS IS OUR EXAM ALSO BONUS POINTS IF YOU GO ON A FIELD TRIP WITH ME ^_^
Student: Dr. Tico, that field is a protest.
Dr. Tico: I HAVE SIGNS AND HANDCUFFS!!!!
I just really loved her arc on Canto Bight and her care for the little people and also the emphasis it’s not the wide dramatic actions that make the resistance but the people that make it thrive.
“We win by saving what we love.”
Mneme that kiss was sexless--
THE GIRL JUST KNOCKED A SHIP OUT OF THE WAY OF A CANNON, GIVE THE GIRL A BREAK
She’s be more than down to climb him like a tree later.
OKAY WHILE WE’RE STILL DEALING WITH THE RESISTANCE
I UNDERSTAND WHY ADMIRAL AMILYN HOLDO DIED AND THE SHOT WAS BEAUTIFUL AND ELEGANT AND JUST 
#POETIC CINEMA
but also *UGLY SOBBING*
so like yes I understand that this probably could have been solved via OPEN COMMUNICATION but
Poe has literally just been demoted for flyboy antics
Poe initial interaction with Admiral Holdo consists of “soooo do you understand the situation” in front of a bunch of upper level brass
like maybe if he was like HEY HOW CAN I HELP it would have been better but he literally goes
HI ADMIRAL PLEASE LET EXPLAIN YOUR JOB AFTER I JUST MANAGED TO GET A HUGE CHUNK OF THE FLEET DEMOLISHED
cue Oscar Isaac’s prettiness
so like I understand but also I DISAGREE
also when Amilyn talks to Leia when Poe is like being carted onto the transport saying “I like him!” I’m 99% certain it was implied that she was also down to bang
actually knowing what I know from Leia, Princess of Alderaan
she’s TOTALLY DOWN TO BANG
OKAY LETS FINISH UP THIS NONSENSE WITH REMAINING TWO CHARAS ALSO KNOWN AS THIS IS A BIASED REVIEW AND IF YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO YOU CAN LIKE STOP HERE AND GO
......
.....
....
*looks around* okay they’re gone?
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*TAKES  OUT MIC*
FIRST THING FIRST, I HAVE BEEN REY NO ONE SINCE FOREVER AND NOW I AM VALIDATED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD~~~~
It also follows from what Maz said in TFA, “you know they aren’t coming back.” This movie is Rey coming to terms with the failure that her parents inflicted on her, abandonment, and realizing that she doesn’t need some grand legacy to save the galaxy. Being herself is enough, and that’s so so beautiful to meeeeeeeeeeeeee. *weeps*
#POETIC CINEMA
SECOND, KYLO’S ARC WAS GEARED TOWARDS MEEEEEE!!! THANK YOU FOR VALIDATING ALL THE CHARACTER SHIT I HAVE BEEN SAYING ABOUT KYLO REN SINCE TFA THAT I THOUGHT WAS FUCKING OBVIOUS!!!!!!
Them: KYLE RON WAS TOTALLY DOWN TO KILL HAN AND UNREMORSEFUL. Me: ???? did we watch the same movie??
did you like look at the lighting in that scene???
the facial expressions??
LITERALLY EVERYTHING BEFORE THAT SCENE ABOUT BEING SEDUCED BY THE LIGHT?!!?!?
Kylo himself in TLJ: i didn’t hate him
THIS CONFLICT, THIS UNBALANCEDNESS CONTINUES THROUGH OUT THE FILM!?!? Also, I’m going to be hella honest 
pre-TLJ: Renperor is such a horrible trope because Kylo Ren is a disaster human being who has no business and no interest (see Bloodline) in ruling??? LIKE YOU ARE ASSIGNING COMPETENCE TO MY SON WHERE THERE IS NONE
post-TLJ: alright, I can Work With This and I’m 99% certain he is going to be ousted because the FO is like who is this human disaster with the political savvy of a blunt post 
like any credibility was lost as soon as he decided to have force tantrum when Luke showed up
and the SHOOT THAT SHIP OUT OF THE SKY!!!! moment
like my son leads wears his trash heart on his sleeve and EVERYONE KNOWS IT
honestly the fact that he managed to lie about killing Snoke is a miracle
but this CANON!renperor 
this Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, which i am like laugh my ass of over, is not some triumphant Dark Fuck Prince??
He’s broken man who has thrown so so much into rejecting the light, becoming the monster that his uncle he feared he would become and realized that he done fucked up. 
He tells Rey, Let the past die, kill it if you have to.
LITERALLY CANNOT LET THE PAST DIE
does copy his namesakes dramatic robe dropping so like there’s that
Also pre-TLJ: meh there’s a 50/50 chance he’s a virgin but lol it will never but touched on in canon
Post-TLJ: oh god he’s a virgin i will fight you on thissss
AND NOW BECAUSE I AM THAT PERSON REY AND KYLO’S OVERLAPPING ARCS
*SCREAMS* FORCE BOND FORCE BOND FORCE BOND
oh did i mention FORCE BOND!?!?!?!?!
Okay yes Snoke helped it along but like THAT LAST SCENE WITH THE DICE AND KYLO LOOKING UP AND SEEING REY
Snoke is dead bitches
what is it
it’s the Force
it was so good to meee
Honestly that face was peak “I’m disappointed but not surprised, I left all your shit on the porch. *SLAMS DOOR IN FACE*”
Like THE INTIMACY OF THOSE FORCE BOND SCENES
and like the evolution and like ASDFDSFSDAFDS
this was so good to me y’all
so good
no really i like never rec meta but like this *kisses fingers* http://corseque.tumblr.com/post/168629533017 good shit 
THAT REGENCY TRASH PROPOSAL OF FAILURE
so good
so awful
congrats Kylo, you’ve surpassed your granddad in poor wooing skills
Like literally I can see Anakin standing next to him Force Ghost!Stylez and is just like appalled
so appalled
okay i’m done I’m going to think about star wars and start throwing all my money at the EU YET AGAIN
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rickrakontoys · 7 years ago
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Justice League Very VERY flawed, with numerous problems, but it has enough entertainment value to make it worth a watch. 6.75/10 ***SPOILER TALK*** The Good: - The cast works very well together, and for the most part are all likeable. - Despite the little screentime spent to establish them, Aquaman, Flash, and Cyborg mesh naturally into this world. The decision to make Aquaman this hard-drinking dudebro type helps make him stand out from the others. Flash being made much younger here gives him an interesting contrast to the more experienced warriors of the team. Cyborg wrestles with his own existence and his ties to alien technology. I would watch movies about any of these characters! - Wonder Woman is still great here, and they try to explain why she was out of action for so long after WW1. Steve Trevor is her Bucky (what pushes her buttons... Bruce gets called an asshole for using Steve to chastise Diana) - Superman finally gets some good moments to be... Superman here, though they are few. Most of his scenes are memorable and fun, escpecially with the Flash. His whole engagement with the League after his resurrection was great. - The added levity here helps to break up the dreary look of the film. Though some of the quippiness was off-putting, for the most part it works. - This was a marked improvement upon Batman v Superman. But oddly, it could have used a longer runtime to fill in the numerous gaps in the story and help the movie flow more. The Bad: - The plot in general is garbage. Just... awful. There is only a bare minimum of a story here to get the League together. - Steppenwolf... sucks. He is Malekith from Thor 2 bad. He looks awful. His design and dialogue generic as hell. His motivation is mere cartoon villainy. It is at least somewhat satisfying to see the entire League beat the shit out of him. Superman and Wonder Woman pummel him good at the end. But he leaves no impression at all. Why did he have to be fully CGI??? What is with the DCEU and big, grey, CGI monster men as the final boss battle (Doomsday, Ares, whatever the fuck that thing in Suicide Squad was)??? - The beginning of the movie is incoherent, disjointed, and hard to follow. Much of the movie consists of just... scenes of stuff happening without a solid throughline or flow. The opening of the movie is a scene with Batman that immediatley devolves into Synder's incoherent numbing action. Wonder Woman gets a nice action scene fighting terrorists, but it is completely detached from the rest of the movie and serves no purpose. - They just sorta show Atlantis without much setup, expecting us to just know what is happening and who Mera is... She is just... there. No establishing scene or shot. Feels like a lot is missing. - Themyscira is shown again. Still bad green screening like in Wonder Woman. Now with more metal bikini armor... there is a scene of Steppenwolf attacking the Amazons for the Mother Box they have that goes on too long. - The Mother Boxes... more power cubes/boxes acting as McGuffins??? Nothing about them was explained very well. They were just... powerful evil things Steppenwolf wants. Cyborg can interact with them. They terraform worlds into Apokalips... yawn. Didn't Zod already do the terraforming villain plot? Only... better??? - The way the League resurrects Superman was... baffling. Batman just guesses the Mother box can bring him back? He and Wonder Woman start ranting about "ethics"??? Predictably, this revival invalidates his death in BvS. Also, they show everyone mourning Superman at the start. Nothing in the movies show that he inspired any hope at all. BvS showed everyone fearing him or distrusting him. They are relying solely on the audience's familiarity with his character's real world legacy to elicit sympathy. -To revice Supes, they have to do this elaborate procedure of dropping the box into the kryptonian fluid pool with Flash zapping it as it touches the fluid, but don't explain why they have to do it like that... why do they need to drop it?! They just leave their mother box unattended after Superman revives just so Steppenwolf can just steal it immediately??? Where did Cyborg even hide the third box where he could just pop up suddenly with it in his hands in the first place? If they are so important, why did the Atlanteans and Themysira just leave their boxes out in the freakin open in big rooms instead of... deeeeep underground in a damn vault in a bigger box surrounded by death traps and fire and lava and shit??? - Steppenwolf sets up base in Russia or some old soviet country. And the movie keeps showing this random russian family for some reason throughout (reminded me of Sokovia in Age of Ultron, but here it was done very sloppily). Also, this giant apokalips dome thing is built there and no one in any other country notices??? - Danny Elfman's score is forgettable save for two instances... when he calls back to his old 89 batman theme, and when he plays a few notes from the John Williams Superman theme... these callbacks are pointless, and serve only to remind you of better movies from a bygone era. - Good god... Superman's CGI mouth. It is in the FIRST SCENE of the movie. It looks terrible. It looks expensive. It looks unnatural. A fake mustache for Henry Cavill woulda saved them time and money. - The flashback scene explaining the three mother boxes felt like the Lord of the Rings prologue. A green lantern was shown... cuz fan service. - The entire action finale was more numbing Snyder bullshit full of bright explosions, gunfire, and single color theme (red in this case). There is no style or wit here. Just CGI overload. It gets better once the team confront Steppenwolf directly. - The movie looks kinda... ugly in general. - Lois again has little to do, but i guess its ok since this is a League movie and she's a glorified cameo. - Batman was pretty useless here. He gets his ass handed to him quite often. Suppose that is the point since his power is "I'm rich". Plus he's old now and doesnt move quite as fast. I still like Affleck as Batman. - ok, i gotta stop. Sounds like I'm being harsh on the movie but that is only because the Justice League deserves AMAZING rather then just "passable". This reeks of too many hands in the pot, and the result is a mess... but at least it is a fun mess. I would watch it again, unlike BvS or Suicide Squad, which i can barely sit through 10 minutes of anymore...
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gs2197 · 7 years ago
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#GS Movie Review: Blade Runner 2049
You’ll either fall asleep, or have both your eyes and mouth wide open throughout. No in between.
Hypnotic & Demanding. 2 words that perfectly describe what I think of the latest entry in Ridley Scott’s, sci-fi noir, nearly 40 year old series.
If I had to sum up my experience while watching this film in one word? Powerful. 
Exhausting could also do the trick, but it’s unfair to rule out this film simply because of its lenght, and how demanding it is to its viewers. I’ll be perfectly honest with you: this movie can feel never-ending at times. 
Is it worth it though? I’m glad you asked, because despite some clear flaws, 2049 is an experience unlike any other I’ve had in the past couple of years. Much like Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar, back in 2014, this film made me guess, it made me smile and it truly gave me chills in the hairs in the back of my neck. 
Rejoice science fiction fanatics and cinephiles willing to sit through this 2 and a half hour trip. You’re in for a ride. A very long one.
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It’s impossible to mention this movie without acknowledging Denis Villeneuve’s mastery and artistry when it comes to film-making. Ever since I saw Sicario, I realized what a powerhouse he could become if Hollywood gave him a chance to keep demonstrating his talent. 
While I haven’t gotten a chance to see Prisoners (yet), I am familiar with both his take on mexican organized crime Sicario, and his brilliant (and as Evan Puschak expertly put it into words, his “reponse to bad movies”), refreshingly original voyage into the realm of science fiction: Arrival. 
Both movies are superbly crafted, and I’m truly glad and excited to see that Villeneuve is still going strongly and confidently into earning the well-earned title of legend. Blade Runner 2049 has no shortage of visually arresting moments. I’d be lying if I said I’m not anxiously waiting for the Blu-Ray release of the film to somehow take several frames of the film and hang them on my bedroom walls, or use them as wallpapers in my laptop. 
I’m not even kidding. The cinematography unhurriedly takes its time to soak in every angle and detail in the world depicted in the film, and while the pacing will undoubtedly feel agonizingly slow for some, the overall experience benefits from that laid back approach: said “slowness” gives its viewers the chance to lose themselves in this mesmerizing world and forget the minutes (or hours) flashing by. The use of color, the gentle panning of the camera, the Jurassic Park-like mixture of practical effects and CGI... it all ads up. It all works as a cohesive whole. Say what you want about the runtime, this movie is the perfect example of stunning cinematography and DAMN, do I want to see this movie again just because of it.
You may not be instantly aching to see the movie right away, but beyond any doubt, the thrill of sitting through this film again will be as worth it as it was the first time around. Visuals-wise, this movie delivers, over and over...
And you guessed it: over again.
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You see that silhouette up there? That’s Ryan Gosling. I like Gosling. He’s a damn good actor. If you had any doubts, look no further: his performance in Blade Runner 2049 is PHENOMENAL. And thankfully so: you’ll spend 85% of the film by his side. The rest of the percentage is spent on runtime and sharing scenes with the rest of the cast. Is that a bad thing? Meh. I’m sad to report that Jared Leto still hasn’t shaken the bad luck that... that mess did to his career. While he is also a terrific actor, the ammount of time he is on screen is insulting. Much like his take on The Prince of Crime, Leto has a way to capture any viewers attention with ease. Approximately 10 minutes of runtime are no way to treat an actor of this caliber in my opinion.
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Thankfully some members of the cast do get a chance to shine, and man do they wanna leave you blind! 
Ever heard of Ana de Armas? I’m sad to report that me neither. Thank God that Hollywood found her. The first thing you’ll probably notice is that she is a remarkably beautiful woman. Even my gayness can’t help but waver at the sight of her. The best part? She can also act. And she can act really well. I never thought I’d ship a replicant and an AI, but hey, life’s full of surprises! There is one scene in particular where my eyes refused to blink. It was romantic, sexy, heartbreaking, confusing and it was a prime example of creativity at its best. You’ll know which scene I’m talking about when you see the movie. It involves hands. And a hooker.
Don’t even get me started on Harrison Ford. He is as awesome as always, but he suffers the same fate as Leto to some degree. For further reference, look up to the out of place GIF up above.
But before I move on to the next category, I HAVE to acknowledge the powerhouse that is Sylvia Hoeks. She doesn’t get that much personality to match K or Joi (Gosling and de Armas), but much like Ana, she steals every scene she’s in. Fingers crossed to see more of her in the future.
Robin Wright fans?
The ugly, crying Anthony Anderson GIF also applies. Sorry.
Now on to the technical side of the story. If you thought that Gosling and Villeneuve were the icing on the cake, you were partially mistaken. Production desing is A. Fucking. Mazing. Every single set is stunning and dream-like. Hell, even K’s apartment looks cool despite it’s size. 
However Dennis Gassner managed to sneak his way into a project of this scope is beyond me. I’m glad that he did. His eye for detail is off the charts, and just like the rest of the ingredients that conform this film, he is a truly welcome and wonderful addition that makes 2049 shine as brightly as it does.
Visual effects are a somewhat mixed bag for me. The grandeur and epicness are undeniable. It may be my wild imagination or the theater I went to see the movie in, but it’s hard to discern whats going o on screen at certain points. Its a real shame, given how mesmerizing the imagery is for the duration of the film. The mix of practical and CGI is breathtakingly well executed, and ever since Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar, I had yet to see a film that matched the level of detail and technical expertice that Nolan’s movie has. Now that Blade Runner 2049 has finally arrived, I’m having an unbearably difficult time trying to decide which movie excels more in that front.
Let’s just call it a tie for now.
The audio design/mixing is also excellent. The few and far in between action sequences in the movie are elevated sky high due to how polished and strongly every single punch and kick feels. As you may have noticed this movie is an undeniable contender for a couple Academy Awards, hopefully they’ll give this movie the love it deserves.
And finally we get to the narrative. As I’ve mentioned before, Blade Runner 2049 sure does take its time to kick into gear, at least for audiences and viewers expecting a bombastic and unstoppable blur of action and wit. This movie’s pace is certainly not for anyone. The movie IS 2 hours and 30 something minutes long, so if you go to see it you shouldn’t be surprised. 
I personally loved 2049. While I don’t see myself jumping right back to rewatch the movie as excitedly as I’d do it for Inception, Gone Girl (or Frozen to be totally honest) this movie has a level of craftmanship and detail that makes me want to suck it up and go enjoy the ride once again. 
As for the flow of the narrative, I have to admit that the experience of watching Blade Runner 2049 was similar to the one I had while watching Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in theaters. I was particularly hungry while watching it and couldn’t really appreaciate how mind-blowingly good the movie. It felt eternal and never-ending at the time. Now? I’ve watched the Ultimate Edition at least 4 times during 2017. 
So basically my point is: the movie is worth watching over and over and guess what? Over again.
The thing is, it’s unfair to label this movie as unwatchable, overlong and boring as I’ve led you to believe up above. The movie has a lot of twists and turns that I wasn’t expecting. The nods to the the original Blade Runner had me smiling like a madman, and the visuals and production desing kept me constantly engaged and amazed by the raw power and greatness of it all. Watching this film was a true delight despite its flaws. 
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The chemistry and relationship between de Armas and Gosling’s characters is by far one of the most engrossing and enjoyable story threads in the movie. The dialogue is spot on throughout. The performances, despite how little runtime some characters get, are all excellent. From Bautista’s brief time on the spotlight in the opening minutes, to Harrison Ford’s exciting introduction action sequence, and even Leto’s philosophical mumbo-jumbo monologues (I applaud anyone able to understand him the first time around), every actor gives it their all while they get the chance to do so. 
I could go on praising this film for a while, so let’s just say that I implore you to give 2049 a chance to mesmerize and captivate you. It certainly did that and more for me.
Now, before the conclusion and consensus, I’d like to make a couple recommendations to properly enjoy Blade Runner 2049. 
1. Watch the original Blade Runner. The Director’s Cut if you get the chance. You’ll enjoy this movie twice as much if you’re familiar with Ridley Scott’s masterpiece.
2. Watch the 3 short films that were released to fill in the gaps between 2019 and 2049. You can thank me later. They’re all awesome!
- Black Out 2022 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrZk9sSgRyQ&t=810s
- 2036: Nexus Dawn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgsS3nhRRzQ
- 2048: Nowhere to Run https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZ9Os8cP_gg
Conclusion: The latest (and long time coming) installment in the Blade Runner universe is an exercise in patience. It’s extremely demanding, thought-provoking and engrossing. It’s a visual and technical masterpiece. Call it craftsmanship or talent, but it’s undeniable that Villeneuve has created a stunning, highly detailed and impressive science fiction movie that should be praised and acknowledged by its achievements, and further analysed and dissected in the future. 
Consensus: “Blade Runner 2049 is an exhausting, long but undeniably polished and captivating piece of entertainment. With production design and visuals that set a new benchmark for sci-fi and movies in general, Villeneuve has crafted a beautiful, well-acted and ultimately enjoyable experience that will test your capacity for attention and your patience.”
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peanutdracolich · 7 years ago
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Peanut Dracolich Watches Horror: The Call of Cthulhu (2005)
So as a rule I have qualms with Lovecraft movies. I love Reanimator but it doesn’t feel Lovecraft. There’s a Color Out of Space adaption that’s good. And every other Lovecraft film I’ve seen has been bad, and less Lovecraft than John Carpenter is (The Thing still makes me think of At the Mountains of Madness despite being fairly close to the story it’s actually based on, and Prince of Darkness was more cosmic horror than most). This one is added to the pile of exceptions. I must also say my cat (blessed of Bast and a natural enemy to the supernatural terrors of the before times) tried to save me from it, continuously stopping the movie, fast forwarding and just in general trying to interrupt it, I’ve never had her be so bad about a film.
Now what to say about the film. It’s an artistic piece. In this I mean it makes me think of poetry. It is a style not meant for pure entertainment purposes, but to take a set of challenges and guidelines and use them to create something that, when taken in with appreciation for those restrictions becomes a piece of beauty and skill. As such the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly will not be done, they are all the Art. This also means that despite saying whole heartedly ‘I like it’ I’d not advise it unless 1) you have an appreciation for Lovecraft, and 2) you are willing to take ‘it emulates early silent films including their flaws’ in stride and enjoy that as well.
It is a silent film, and endeavors to look like something that might have been made in the silent film era. It puts light and shadow to excellent use, stop motion animation to make one of the creepiest Cthulhus I have seen, and the music combines with the alien atmosphere of the silent film (alien that is to the current viewer) making it a good choice for Lovecraft as it honestly gave me the same sort of feeling that I get when reading Lovecraft... Almost. It was a deeper emotional feeling than with Lovecraft, a greater fear (though it was nowhere near the fear of Ju-On for example) and creep, but a shallower intellectual one. It does not replace reading the man, but it is good and does exactly what I hope for from a faithful adaptation; give a way of enjoying that while lacking in some qualities of the original (any adaptation of a text will because of the differences in narration styles - you don’t get into the mind of the protags as much in film), has new and different ones which make for an interesting alternative. In that the film is a roaring success.
Now that is not to say the film was without its bad qualities. The action scenes were not good, they looked like Hollywood LARPers almost. R’lyeh itself had moments of the special effects being so fail as to be comical. To an extent that’s alright; R’lyeh is supposed to look in such a way that any representation will be wrong and bad, so it sort of works to intentionally look ‘fake’ in ways I’d have liked to see it not be in the style of a silent film but be CGI for that egregiously unreal feeling. I don’t know if that would have worked, and it would have ruined the purity of the art, so it’s good they didn’t but... all the angles were euclidean, they weren’t even stuff on the surface of curves (and thus non-euclidean). I’d actually give it a pass, but I watched The Vampyr which better succeeded at capturing the nightmare feeling that I look for in Lovecraft (and Frankenstein, and Dracula) and which despite actually being from this time avoided anything as corny looking as the fake skies used in this film. Ultimately they were bad. They were going for stylistic suck, for looking like the props and sound stages of the silent pictures days, but they went too far and made them look like low quality ones which is jarring as otherwise the film takes an effort to be quality (the Cthulhu while maybe not Harryhausen’s best is good quality even).
Overall, though, I enjoyed the film. It is not as good as The Vampyre, though that is the closest film I can think of to it. It is an interesting experiment and enjoyable for the watch. I do not know if it will have any more staying power than Ju-On or The Descent (Ju-On has managed to finally get me to stop having my ‘trying to sleep’ freak out being based upon The Prince of Darkness by replacing it with Ju-On). That said it’s a rather different film in that it’s a very direct and faithful (to my admittedly limited memory) adaptation and most of the staying power would come from the same scenes that stayed with you in the story and the story did those first so it is hamstrung there... while simultaneously making itself exempt from needing it. This is not a film you watch for a new story, this is a film you watch because you know and like “The Call of Cthulhu”.
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