#also it's NOT HIP to fuck bees that movie was a MISTAKE DO NOT FUCK BEES

[yoinkschief]

GENDERBEND JUMPSCARE

Also bonus doodles

This is so interesting cause my version of Tamara is transfem non-binary (lounge AMAB, but non-binary and feminine presenting with she/they pronouns) so this just implies a t4t which I love

[cowhides]

estar guars

thinking abt darth jar jar and how he’s physically yoda’s opposite (long and gangly vs small and stout, floppy fin ears vs soft pointed elf-ish ears, red vs green, long taut marshland dinosaur face vs circular soft wrinkled face w large eyes, clumsy sloshing/drunken fist vs measured and calculated movements) and how a simple change of body language and voice could easily turn his goofy-esque frame into something way more intimidating. He’s already taller than the human characters, so if he straightened his back and squared his shoulders he’d be quite imposing with that alone. I also think his long floppy gungan fin-ears could potentially frill out like that one lizard and that would go crazy. What looks like a soft duck bill would peel back to show sharp teeth, claws for catching fish now much more sinister looking, same with his eyestalks and the yellow tint they have. I always hated how his feet are weirdly stout and not some kind of froglike webbed situation but then again when you think abt how nimble hippos are in water despite having those same kind of flat stump feet i guess it could work. His typical outfit almost makes his hips seem round and heavy, kind of that goofy silhouette again with a cartoony potbelly, but that extra weight that makes him look approachable could be shriveled away over time/as his plans progress, like how palpatine gets fucked up during he and mace windu’s confrontation in ep 3. I’ve always been partial to the idea that jar jar was darth plagueis and he learned how to escape death (unbeknownst or otherwise to his apprentice, sidious) by either plain bodysnatching a nearby outcasted gungan or potentially, if we were to rmr ep 9 despite how ludicrous it is and how much i hate it, he could’ve latched onto a force sensitive person and had them spontaneously reproduce and birth him, like palpatine apparently had shmi do w anakin. I think if lucas had had his friendly voice be less like a loud nasal honk/squeak and not in that forced and kinda 😬 space-patois, his original arc could’ve been preserved and his presence would be more tolerable. Bc i get that he wanted him to be unassuming but it just swung too far in that direction and made him loathesome rather than sneaky. I think his post-reveal voice should’ve been a sort of gravelly reptilian hiss too, really spooky that way but still making sense w his biology as opposed to a generic Evil Guy Voice. I also think the king gungan should’ve looked more like the rest of them lmao instead of looking like another species entirely, maybe with different coloring or some sort of frill/crest to make him stand out, like how queen bees look slightly different from regular bees.

Speaking of, i wish they had padme not be a teenage queen but then also say that naboo apparently has elections. Either she’s a teenage monarch from a royal family thrust into power v suddenly like king tut Or the planet has free elections and someone maybe a parent was elected to a position of power. I get that they didn’t want to do another princess after leia but she could’ve been an ambassadors daughter or smth who went into politics herself once she was old enough and it would’ve made way more sense. Maybe this is elaborated on more in the eu but as far as the movies go it’s just kinda funky and messes with my suspension of belief more than droids and space magic ever could.

I also think when it comes to baby anakin in ep 1 that choosing to make him sort of…idk over-competent was the worst mistake when it came to his character. If midichlorians were going to be involved it would’ve been way more interesting for anakin to have a low to nonexistent mc count and that be the puzzling aspect, not the opposite. It would’ve been way more interesting to see him struggle to keep up through the events of ep 1/being constantly compared to other padawans and that be why the council discounts him so readily, even when he’s grown. I always wanted him to be saved from maul by obi wan more directly, maybe even with obi having to choose between him and qui gon, with qg urging him to protect and train anakin and sacrificing himself to buy them time to escape or smth. it’s like lucas felt the need to prove anakins legitimacy to us when like…we already know who he’s going to be lol there was no need for that, and having him be vulnerable and be a traumatized child instead of a self insert for the kids in the audience/george himself would’ve been way more emotionally poignant and also call the jedi order’s abducted child soldier practices into question way earlier, bc the movies don’t touch on that enough imo even when their other flaws (aiding and abetting a hawkish neoliberal regime, repressing emotions to the detriment of everyone around them, relentless bureaucracy and top down hierarchy, general aloofness and lack of concern towards the galactic citizens they snatch force-sensitive younglings from) are more evident. I did always love the yellow cruiser he flew in ep 1 though lol it’s v elegant. But I wish Naboo had been a little more adventurous with its architecture bc it just looks like the venetian hotel sometimes. It’s just a letdown when the gungan city was so cool.

Anyway. the masculine urge to blame all of sws problems on toy merchandizing.

[noodlegirl-googlyeyes]

hey! im noodle, or Ellie, and i was tagged to answer some questions abt myself by the wonderful and very rad @theprocfilesystem, thank you so much!

relationship status: single and not at all looking. i don't know if i ever will be, tbh, mostly just because i don't see myself as the kind of person who would want to. but, since it's late, i'll go ahead and overshare that i do have a regular hookup going with my main gal lliJ (im left handed) that meets my needs for sexual expression quite adequately

favorite color: for a long time it was deep purple! it was my sadboy color for sure. now that im a girl, though, it just feels sad, so i decided my favorite color would be yellow! so, yeah, its yellow :>

favorite food: carne adovada, a New Mexican dish made with Hatch red chile and (usually)pork! red chiles are dried and ground, as opposed to the green variety, which is usually roasted fresh. sauces made with red chile tend to have a very dark, smoky flavor, and have a particularly exquisite spice to them. there are many varieties of a protein in a sauce eaten in/on some carbs, but a carne adovada burrito really stands alone, for me <3

the song stuck in my head: unfortunately, it's 'Hip to Fuck Bees'

the last thing i searched online: i had to start typing in the word 'etiquette' because i couldn't remember how to spell it, but the last actual search i made was 'wired switch controller'(im just gonna get the gamecube style one probs)

the time right now: 11 pm exactly

dream trip: honestly it's less about the location and more about me being somewhere with someone who knows the area and culture well. partially it's because i won't enjoy anything if i don't feel safe, and/or if i feel alone, and partially because i hate being a tourist. i just wanna be there.

something i want: ive wanted to get a PC for awhile, it's been years since i had one. it doesn't have to be super fancy, just something that can handle a half-decent DAW and, like, be able to play my metroidvanias (lone fungus is out now btw and it looks amazing!) cherry on top would be someone to help me get started using linux, bc windows and apple can both go fuck each other.

thanks again for tagging me UwU i appreciate u! i would like to nominate @star-crossed-animals , @spoopyscaryalien , @dominoscarsidedelivery and @zoeadrien but u dont have to if u dont want to! also if u wanna do these kinds of games but no one ever tags u, u always have my permission to say i tagged u :>

in addition i'm adding another question: whats a piece of media(book, movie, show, album/song, etc.) that you feel represents you or an aspect of you that you haven't seen a lot of representation for? i know it's kind of wordy, sorry. but for example, mine is bojack horseman. when i was deep in my dark times, there were so many things about myself i hated. i started watching the show around season two, and i saw some of those parts of me in bojack in a way i'd never really seen before in media. in diane i saw some too, as well as some of the things i'd forgotten i loved about myself, but it was mostly bojack. he is not a good character, or role model, and the fact that i related so much to him was disturbing, sure, but also strangely comforting at the time. as the show continued to air, i grew as a person. i never finished the last season. by the time it came out, my values had diverged so much from his that it was kind of hard to watch. and for all my mistakes, i'm so proud of who i am today compared to that lost, lonely, angry figure slowly torturing himself to death.

like i said, its late so im oversharing lmao anyways ty again and peas and love on planat earf ✌️

[rookiesbookies]

Nsfw Head-canons -Brothers

Lucifer:

-Gentle but will push anyone’s limits

-prefers to hit it from the back over a desk, but understands thats not always possible or wanted

-this mf is smirking the whole time at you

-after care is 10/10 tho bc he’s got the best bathroom in the house (no matter what asmo says😂)

-you will smell like his... essence by the end

-might let you top every once in a while but even if you do something like ride him he has to be sitting up even just a little bit

-hes prideful ass wont let him be a bottom even for a second

-is your Lucifer up to his horns in work?

-literally just fling your underwear at him

-he’d shoot up and give you the ... attention you need faster than you can say “Satan gotta cat”

-I cannot yell “FLOGGER” louder

-BDSM if there ever was such

Mammon:

-sweet baby is so scared of hurting anyone

-likes to hold hands

-doesnt always like to be looked at tho, depending on the mood

-switch leans for bottom tho

-probably usually is the one needing aftercare

-probably apologizing if he did something wrong

-he’s mind can not handle pleasure

-like you’d be blowing him and he’d be squirming and like tearing up

-oh imagine pointing out that the marks point down

-“what do ya mean- they’r’ pointin there...”

-VERY LOUD

-YOU PROBABLY NEED TO GAG HIM SO THE HOUSE DOESNT SHAKE

-EVEN IF YOUR JUST BLOWING HIM

-praise kink

-he needs praise tho

-🥺💜💜 bb needs love

Levi:

-hates to be looked at

-“ st-stop looking at me like that normie!”

-this mf totally would call you a “normie” then

-**snake dicks**

-probably talks about a random hentai with a stupid long name when in the middle of it

-he’s LOUD

-like REALLY LOUD

-might use his tail, idk

-when Asmo brings it up Beel goes

-“Not in front of the Salad”

-if you make eye contact with him, while doing anything, he’d squirm so much

-probably needs so much praise to be reminded he’s not just a “yucky otaku”

-forked tongue

-really sensitive horns

-“I dont- fine Ill do the tongue thing from that stupid Disney Movie”

-would cover Henry 2.0 with a cloth

-bed sheets are EVERYWHERE

-hide him in his gaming chair

-probably has curtains to cover the other fish in his room so they dont see

-idk why he just is like that

Satan:

-this boi probably jumps you on the couch in the library

~~-only bc Lucifer was in his study~~

-never does it angy, the smexy times are for love

-vanilla

-gets **bite-y**

-pet kink tho

-will wear the collar but prefers you to

-switch, leaning to dom

-pet name for you is Kitty

-would totally call you “my precious kitten” too

-probably reads too much about everything having to do with this subject (also talks to Asmo too much)

-“I want to try (random position)”

-usually it doesnt work out bc for the most part he’s vanilla

-probably talks to Asmo too much about this

-probably read 50 Shades trying to understand

-probably regretted both of those

-on second thought he totally does

-sadist

-he’s a sadist

Asmo:

-owns 100% of the adult section in Akuzon

-you cant convince me otherwise

-probably balls deep at least once a week

-switchy **AF**

-breath on him and his horny

-doesnt mean he’ll be easy tho

-would make you beg

-edging bitch

-may snap sadist on you in a second

-the most fabulous aftercare

-he’s like painting your nails and shit

-massages

-too think this all started bc he caught you staring at him

-right after he asks some bullshit

-“how do bees fly- science says they shouldnt be able to”

-“these are thing you dont say after having sex”

-COWGIRL AND 69 ARE HIS FAVORITE, HAVE TO BE

Beel:

-forgive me father, Ive been a bad girl

-BUT IMAGINE THE TONGUE ON THIS SOFT BOI

-PLUS ISNT HE LIKE 6 FOOT 5

-scared of crushing you

-could fling you like a rag doll tho

-probably biggest jewels in the family

-🤠

-would accidentally over simulate someone

-probably would tell you to taste good

-needs constant reassurance

-bb boi would cry if you degraded him

-bite-y

-no cap

-doesnt leave hickies but you wake up with bite marks everywhere

-some of them drew blood bc in some of the animations he has shark teeth

-you cant walk

-and not bc he went hard

-just bc he’s THAT BIG

-I just feel like he is

-hehehe his cowboy boots in his demon form tho

-if you touched his horns he’d be so surprised

-every confused on the idea of what “Horny” is

-“ b-but im hungry... just not for food???”

-probably asked Asmo

-that was a mistake

-giving him face rubs reminding him that it doesnt hurt and your just adjusting

-tracing his tattoo is probably the cutest thing youve done after

-Asmo heard it all.

-Asmo

-heard

-it

-all

-period

-food kink

-will eat off your body

-just out food on your body and he go nom nom

Belphie:

-he’s a dom bottom

-if thats possible

-cuz he’s lazy af

-but refuses to be dominated

-always in the bed, cuz HE DOESNT LEAVE IT

-cuddles after

-“you wanted to do it in the attic for a reason didnt you.”

-just fuckin smirks at you

-bc the attic is probs above Luci’s room

-probably really kinky but just too lazy to do jack

-even tho he lazy dont mean you wont be head to toe marked up

-would rock his hip while you adjust just to see your surprised face

-lots of sucking

-idk why

-i feel like he just do

-has been the sub before

-he did not like it

-he just likes being a lazy dom

-if he tops, sheeeet is going down

-if he tops, you will never EVER walk the same again

-temple kisses reminding you you did good

-cuddles

-his pet name for you is Bear, bc your his Teddy Bear

-he fucking Koala’s you in his sleep

-and there is no escaping his grip

[quotes-of-dreamland]

What is happening?!?!

Ohoho, oh the wonderful things that have occurred

Behind the scenes as the snowman quote unfolded, a great crime was committed in the voice chat. I, being the jovial lad I was, input the popular song “Its Hip to Fuck Bees” by Vsauce Vinny into the music player of the voice chat. However, what I failed to realize is that I did so in the midst of Kirby fans, and so naturally, my peers turned to mock me and my immediate suffering by making a poor spider suffer at their expenses. Despite my protests, I was met with nothing but the continued laughter of my peers.

Enter: Mod Susie, who had come back from a downstairs escapade to witness the chaos. When I begged for help, realizing I owned the tupper bot to Dark Taranza (who was currently being drawn by Mod Galacta saying “It’s hip to fuck”), decided that if I would not let Dark Taranza say her desired sentence, she would make it herself. And she did. What she did not account for is that we all have tupper permissions, and so therefore I prepared Susie in retaliation

This action seemed to cause great distress and Mod Susie immediately caved.

Call me psychopathic or whatever proper term there is for such an event, but hearing the immediate tone shift from laughter to pleading as of for the life of ones precious object, it was a very satisfying experience, so much so that I taunted her and demanded she do something in return. Admittedly, this was not planned, I had no intention of things getting this far, nor did I have anything planned in mind beforehand of what I wanted Mod Susie to do. But in the spirit of mercy, I gave Mod Susie an ultimatum: recite the first page of the Bee Movie Script, or be forced to watch as I would utterly curse the chat with making the bot say whatever I could think of.

I think we know the end result of that :) what a stunning performance, don’t you agree? Thought of course, while this occurred, this gave our Mods ample time to post an object of great cursedness. The snowman ask was left up for a fleeting moment of time to be witnessed by the Crack Headed Moss Man themselves, which sent another wave of panic, laughter, and chaos throughout the chat as Mod Susie rushed to erase the mistakes much to her chagrin.

I relinquished the Susie tupper, as did she with Dark Taranza. However, my new desire for seeming destruction was not over. Mod Galacta must draw Galacta Knight in a Bird Bath, or I will make the tupper recite the entirety of “Bitch Lasagna”. Rena must eventually also show me her impression of DMK saying the eggman speech, or else I will subject Ribbon to the entirety of the furry copypasta-turned-rap. Mod SKirby is still in pending

A message to all the mods, because I know eventually they do read what is posted: Do not forget this night. Never forget this night. The second you forget, I will not hesitate. I am forming a list as I speak of things I can and will have the bots say. You are all spared for now, but soon...

Let this event stand as a reminder as to why you do not mess with some with the title “Master of Puppetry”. I figured they all would have learned from the experiences with shopping carts, but I was proven wrong

I believe the incident report shall be out soon. Have a good day, my webblings :3

[suicidalcatz]

DOG DAYS ARE OVER : CHAP 4

AN: Hello ! In this chapter we go on an investigation! But also we get closer to God Jake. I’m writing the 7th part at the moment, and I think the 8th one will be the end of my dream, but not of this fanfic. Let the fluff begin !

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader

Genre: College AU

Previous parts: Prologue ; Chap 1 ; Chap 2 ; Chap 3

Masterlist : here

Chapter four : Need a hand ?

It became obvious to both Mandy and I that I was starting to have a crush on Jake. How could I not ? For a far as we knew him, he was perfect in every way.

At first it was discreet. My new hobby of staring at him during lectures was unnoticed by both of the Kiszkas, or if Josh noticed something, he at least thought it was me waiting for his next paper ball notes and getting impatient. Regarding my class daydreamings, they weren't new so classmates and teachers didn't think much of it. Although it became very apparent something was up when I started unintentionally drawing his face several times in the workshop during portraits studies. Even though my photo reference was Kurt Cobain. It could've been easily mistaken for a very bad observation job (and it did), if it weren't for Mandy who saw me coming home after a long day with a painted 50x70cm Jake canvas under my armpit. Judging by my defeated look, she didn't address it, but she knew.

It's a few days later that we had that talk. It was getting so bad that I began mistaking people in hallways for him, smiling or even giggling to myself as I was remembering stuff he did or said, and again, drawing him.

- I can't focus on anything, I sighed defeated. I have this assignment due to next week and I can't draw any character right. I even dreamed of us doing grocery shopping.

I let my head bump loudly against the dining table as she made me a cup of tea/coffee and placed it in front of me. She knew perfectly how I felt because we all went through the same, that's why she softly pulled the chair opposite mine to sit and have a chat.

- You should talk to him more, get to know him, she encouraged. He's nice and now we sometimes hang out so it's not that weird wanting to know him better.

She was right. Sooner or later I'll had to talk to him and even tell him how I feel anyway. Not now though, it was too soon. I kind of got struck by lightning when I first laid my eyes on him and it got worse when we spoke, but it still rarely happened for people to fall instantly like that. There was no way he'd understand if I just confessed my feelings out of the blue. I should wait and see if there's any chance that my feelings are shared, because there was no way in hell I'd tell him if I wasn't sure I had a chance to date him. Speaking of which...

- Should I ask him out on a date?

As an answer, Mandy smacked my head accross the table with an empty box of biscuits.

- Are you out of your mind ? I just told you to wait ! I know you're impatient to get into his pants but think about all the times you rushed things and how many times it worked.

Raising my head to rest my chin against the plastic flowery tablecloth, I considered it, looking at her munching on chocolate biscuits, browsing a fashion magazine for inspiration. Defeated once again, I let out a sigh and shifted so my cheek was against the table.

- First of all, I don't want to get into his pants- Not yet. Second of all, you're right. I don't want to screw up this time because it'll be so awkward afterwards.

She closed her eyes and quickly nodded because she knew she was of good advice, as usual.

- You forgot something essential boo. You don't know if mister doe-eyed guitarist is single.

Fuck, that's right. Neither of them mentionned it but it's not something you just blurt out. We exchanged a look, and she grinned at me in a knowing way.

- Let's investigate.

The first thing to do was to go on his Facebook. It did seem a bit wrong searching him like that instead of asking straightforwardly, and as if karma thought the same, we found that his infos were set on private. We didn't even bother searching for instagram or twitter as nobody puts their real full names on these, so the second thing to do was to go on the field.

Despite all the departments, the school was small so buildings were close to each other and all communicated (except for the fashion workshop). I kind of knew where everything was, since you could tell just by looking at the people hanging around. And as cliché as it sounded, it was true. Illustration students were always carrying ridiculous amounts of art supplies. Entire bags of paint, books and pencil case in their backpacks, giant portfolio under an arm, A3 sketchbooks in the other, and somehow they still found a way to carry their coffee cups. Architecture, Carpenters and Furniture Design students were often seen with big mock ups and models in their arms, tools or wood. Photo and Fashion peeps were carrying the less stuff since they worked mainly on computers in the Photography dep and let all their mannequins and fabric either at home or in the Fashion workshop. It was as easy to spot dudes from the Music dep, with their guitar on their back, hanging around the Architecture building, smoking, chatting, and drinking soda or coffee.

Their building was near the park, so they were mostly seen in that area. And thank God because I would've look so stupid passing by purely « by chance » in an area where no one ever went except for the people who actually studied there. The park was great. A lot of us used to play ball, sit on the grass to drink, chat or have lunch. It was big enough that the Architecture jocks built some cabins in a corner of it to host parties. I still don't understand how the school allowed that, but anyway, the plan was simple, make a little detour to see if I could spot Jake.

It was so cold outside that students were just hurriedly passing by, quickly making their way inside where it was somewhat warm. As a result, there wasn't many people in the park at this hour of the day and I wondered if Jake was in the dorms or in class before catching a glimpse of his hair in the corner of my eye. Okay time to be discreet. I put my bag down near the trash to fake looking for something while watching him. Fuck he looked good with a scarf and head covered with a beanie. Aside from his looks, he seemed rather bummed. Passers by kept shaking him off as he tried to hand them yellow papers. Probably flyers.

- Jake, I'm taking 5 !

Some guy just beside me doing the same task called him loud and clear, and I think I just saw my life flash before my eyes when Jake turned around to reply and locked eyes with me. I instantly felt very dumb, crouched next to the trash with my hands on my bag. The mental image I had of myself at that very moment was that of a raccoon. Running away was out of the question since he was approaching my way already, one hand holding the flyers and the other in his jacket pocket.

- Hey.

- Hi, I replied without moving an inch.

- Need a hand ?

Shaking out of it, I got on my feet by myself and lied about just passing by. Karma really was a bitch, wasn't it ? Henceforth no more weird MI6 strategies for me. Avoiding staring at the blushed tip of his nose, I gazed at my hands and saw his in the process.

- Are you giving out flyers ?

- Oh yeah, for the Christmas school festival, but no one is either interested or invested in it unfortunately. It's a shame, I think it's gonna be great. I don't know what's holding them, he added while scratching his beanie, it's free and there's gonna be music and food and booze, what more could we need ?

To be fair I understood both parties. Jake was right but some students probably had exams or homework, and it was freezing and they were doing it outside. Well if we were honest it never stopped anybody from partying so maybe the event wasn't the issue.

- I saw people displaying posters, I remembered, can I see the flyers ?

Without missing a beat he handed them all to me and dear lord I almost got blind just by looking at them. That yellow and black and these awful drawings weren't doing anything good for the event. He must've saw it on my grimacing face because he sighed.

- That bad ?

- Honestly ? It looks like a Bee Movie add.

It actually made him let out a chuckle before puting a hand to his heart.

- That hurts.

That flawless smile made my cheeks burn, thank god they were already red because of the cold. His thumb brushed mine when I handed the flyers back to him, and at this moment I knew I was gonna act without thinking again, because my brain went on vacation the second his skin got in contact with mine.

- I can make you new ones, if you want.

His eyes searched for any traces of a joke on my face before realization hit him and his brows frowned lightly.

- Are you sure ? 'm not an expert but this looks like a lot of work.

As backup to his words, he shook the big bundle of paper between his fingers. Jake genuinely looked worried about me, and all the work it'd put me through. Deep down I knew there was a little voice in my head screaming that helping him only meant more sleepless nights but all the other parts of my brains ignored it when two gentle brown eyes stared at me with concern.

- It'll be fine, I assured with a smile. I'm working fast. I just have to do one design and the rest will be printed, right ? No big deal.

Hand on his hip, Jake let out what sounded like a relieved breath and cracked a smile.

- Thanks, I really appreciate it. Do you have a pen ?

Of course I did, I even got one on my coat pocket for some reason. Things I just forget to remove. He gave me the flyers for me to hold while he uncapped the black marker and took my free arm.

- I'm giving you my number, so you can text me if you're having troubles for the design, and show me some pics if you need advice.

With cold fingers, he gently grabbed my wrist and pushed back the fabric to expose my already shivering skin, and started writing numbers on my veins. It tickled, and I got goosebumps, mostly because of the cold wind but also because of his hand around my arm. The soft touch of his calloused fingers felt right on my skin, replacing the freezing feeling of his digits by a sweet wave of heat and I unconsciously held my breath to focus on the new sensation. He let the ink dry a bit before covering my arm again, raising his chin to meet my face.

- I could've write it on one of the flyers but I got a feeling you would've lost it, wouldn't ya ?

A playful smile danced on his face and once again I found myself mesmerized by him, nodding and chewing on my lip in a childlike manner. Jake tapped me on the shoulder to thank me again, saying he'll make it up to me, but I was too absorbed by the burning feeling of his skin on mine.

- I have to go, he said after sliding the marker back inside my breast pocket. My band's playing at the christmas party by the way, I hope you'll come!

[kz-i-co]

Sorority Secrets: Part II

Summary: You got your first warning which scared you into avoiding Bobby.

Pairing: Bobby/Reader

Genre: smut (very cringy #sorry)

Words: 3.3k

Part 1 ╫ Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

m.list ╫ ikon masterlist

-

You woke up feeling dirty and the reek of of chlorine lingered off of you. You almost didn't remember what happened until you smiled from the brief memories of you and Bobby together. You finally woke up to a room that didn't look familiar.

Your eyes alerted awake realizing you weren't in your room. You looked around and saw Bobby's sleeping face. "Fuck." You whispered to yourself and got up. Lucky Hanbin was fast asleep because it would of been more awkward then you could imagine.

You mentally panicked from your clothes being soak and wet. You almost wanted to cry right then and there. You stole one of his pillow cases and threw your stuff into it and stole a random t-shirt and boxers from his things and ran out the room with your heels in your hand.

You tiptoed around the mess of the party and even saw a bunch of random people passed out on the floor. You opened the door and was blinded by sunlight. What time was it?

Your phone was in the pillow case with your things probably damaged with water. As you speed walked down the street you got a few fits and giggles from your state. It was the obvious walk of shame but you didn't care by this point, you just needed to be in your sorority as quick as possible before you're busted. Unless it's already too late. You stood outside your house and snuck to the back to the basement door. You tried to hear any commotion upstairs before making your way up to the next floor.

"Ladies, rise and shine." You heard Haeryung voice shout up the stairs. "Now."

"Why are we cursed with bed heads." She mumbled and you slowly opened up the door. You ran upstairs and as soon as you turned the corner you saw Mimi face into her phone and you quickly ran into a random room. Once she passed you made your way to your room and as soon as you opened it up you saw Jennie changing.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Tzuyu laughed.

"Why do you smell like you just went swimming?" Jennie asked as soon as she got a whiff of you.

"Because I fell in the pool last night." You groaned and empty the pillow case with your wet things. You leaned over and picked up your phone as water poured out.

"That's why you didn't answer me."

"Why didn't you make curfew last night? Especially if you fell in the pool?" Tzuyu asked brushing her hair.

"Because she had some intense sex last night." Jennie winked. "Even had to borrow some of his clothes, how cute."

"Only because mine were still soaked."

"Ladies." You heard Haeryung voice again and you panicked.

"She can't see you like that. She'll know." Jennie whispered. "Hide in the closet."

You ran over and quickly shoved yourself in to hide just in time as the door opened.

"Come on ladies." Haeryung said. "Where's (Y/N)?"

"She's in the shower." Jennie covered for you.

"Oh." Then she left and soon after you heard a knock on the bathroom door. "(Y/N) quickly we would like to all eat together."

You left the room quickly as a confused Eunjae left the bathroom.

"She was talking to me." You laughed nervously and quickly started the shower.

....

"Can I have your attention. I know college is that year of your lives where it's exciting and you like to explore but some of you need to step up and be Kappa material." She looked at all your faces. "Some of us are having too much fun and need to tone down your behavior a bit. It's not just one of you but I noticed that some of you are coming back drunk off your ass's, missing curfew, and need to be up early and ready to go when I say."

"Now, I'm not throwing around any punishments yet but if the carelessness continues then I might need to start pinning you down. Are we clear?"

"Yes sister." You all said.

"Good. Dismissed."

"(Y/N) May I talk to you." Haeryung pulled you aside and you can see the panic in Jennie's face.

"Look I know you missed curfew last night. I'm not mad, so this is your first warning. Since your mother was a legend here I'll give you three but please don't do it again. And also." She leaned into whisper closer. "Those better not be theata hickies."

"Cover them with makeup please. I don't want our reputation ruined from someone who can't handle her hormones." She glared at you before walking away.

"What did she say?" Jennie asked as soon as you went back to your room.

"She knew I didn't make it back last night and basically called me a slut. 'I don't want our reputation ruined'." You mocked.

"I don't even know what I'm doing." You combed your fingers through your hair stressfully. "Last night was a mistake. I can't risk getting kicked out."

"So what then? You're gonna stop seeing Bobby?"

"It's not like we were a thing. It was a simple one night stand. That's it."

"Yup. I'm gonna be a good sorority girl and just worry about school." You continued.

"But what about the kappa that is hooking up with a theata? We need to find out who it is." Jennie looked at you with panic.

"I tried to do that last night and you ditched me."

"I know I'm sorry. I can't help it, I just saw him and I felt weak."

"Well, let me know if you find out who it is." She looked at you with sorrow but didn't argue, she understood.

-

"Hey." You turned around and saw Bobby approach you in the hall.

Your eyes widen and dragged him by the empty staircase. "You can't talk to me during school hours. I can get caught by the kappa leaders."

"No worries. I'm careful." He smirked.

"Well I'm not. I got busted last night and I can't get in trouble anymore."

"Last night was amazing." He leaned into you and started kissing up your neck. You were instantly weak and remembered what Haeryung told you. He basically just sleeps with tons of different girls. If that was true then why was he still bothering you. You gave him his piece but he still wanted you.

He leaned up kissing your lips that you dropped your books startling each other away. He looked at you and you both laughed as he picked up your books.

"Sorry." You blushed as he handed them to you. "Look, I can't do this anymore."

He smile quickly died down. "I can't risk getting kicked out of my sorority, I'm too stressed out."

"You know that rule is bullshit right. They made it up, it doesn't count."

"If it was brought to the dean and written in the handbook then it could be."

"Then find out from the Dean." Was all he said. "Hopefully I'll see you later." He said before walking away.

-

The sad thing was the Dean was too busy to even show you the time of day. You checked your own handbook but it was a few years old so you hand no idea what to do by this point. The best thing was to stay away, far, far away.

"You really gonna stay here with the queen bees." Jennie said as you were still in your sweats on this late Friday night.

"I have a lot of studying to do." You simply stated.

"Okay." She said. "I will try to find more information tonight."

You lightly nodded as your response and looked down into your book. You were the only freshman that stayed. There was a few other girls that had company over but stayed in their room and then you had the seniors. Haeryung was an honors student so she always stayed in, but you weren't sure about the other two. Last you checked they stayed in as well but one of them was keeping secret relationships with a theata so you just had to keep an eye out for which one. Mimi seemed to be on Haeryung's hip more then Jeonghwans but you still couldn't be too sure.

Their was a light knock on the door and it suddenly opened. "Oh (Y/N), I assumed you were out." Haeryung greeted you.

"Nope, I had a lot of studying to do."

"That's good. I see you're turnings things around since you broke the rules last week." She had her annoying fake smile.

"Of course Haeryung, I was just so excited, I started off the school year careless and irresponsible. That will all change now." You lied. You just fed her what she wanted to hear. You weren't gonna sulk forever, you just wanted to avoid Bobby since he made you weak.

"I'm glad to hear that (Y/N), you continue this path we might be looking at a future Kappa leader." She smiled. "And don't worry, I don't snoop through your rooms, I'm just collecting laundry." She grabbed your basket.

"Thank you."

"You keep up your studies, I won't bother you unless you need me." She smiled again but it actually felt genuine. She seemed impressed from your choice of actions tonight. Please.

....

Once you got bored of studying, not even an hour later, you decided to just turn on a movie and relax. You had your lights off since it was a horror movie and it only made the experience better.

The storm in the movie was loud and the thunder caused you to jump since it almost sounded surround sound. The killer peaked around the door and as soon as the girl turned around you felt a hand touch your shoulder causing you to scream along with the girl in the movie. You jumped off your bed and turned your light on quickly and you saw Bobby cutely wave feeling amused at your presence.

"What are you doing here?" You whispered but your temper was visible.

"(Y/N) you okay?" You heard Haeryung voice getting closer.

"Hide." You pushed him and he hid in your closet as the door opened.

"You okay why were you screaming?"

"I was watching a scary movie but I think I'm done watching it." You lied but your heart beating rapidly was still causing you to be shook.

She laughed. "Okay." She said and left you alone once again.

You walked up to the door locking it, just in case she happens to walk in again. Once you turned around, Bobby was already out of the closet, making his way towards you.

"What are you doing here?" You asked again.

"I saw Jennie at our party and you weren't so....I came here."

"Aw how sweet, but you shouldn't have." You said with sarcasm.

"What did your kappa sisters say about me?" He asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"I know they go over each and every member of theata so I'm just curious of what they said about me?" He said.

"You know the typical." You didn't want to tell him.

"And what's that? I sleep with a bunch of girls?" You pursed you lips not knowing what to say.

"None of that is true (Y/N), I'll let you know anything you want to know about us, but I promise I'm not whatever she said I am. Sure I've hooked up a few times from my freshman year but who hasn't. If I didn't like you I would of left you alone by now."

You still didn't know what to say. He really just said he liked you.

"I was kind of hoping you liked me too." He leaned closer.

"Um....well..." You moved backwards until your back hit the door.

"Look I know you're worried about the no theata rule, but if Jinu can keep the secret alive with your kappa for 3 years I think we can do it too."

"Until they're gone and it can be forgotten." He continued and started kissing up your neck.

"Do you know the kappa Jinu is with?" You asked already feeling the tingles as his lips marked its place.

"I know for sure it's not Haeryung because Seunghoon is still not over her but you said you had two other seniors right? It must be one of those two."

"Do you know what she looks like?"

"No, Jinu wouldn't tell us anything because he didn't want to risk her getting kicked out."

"Jinu sounds like a sweet guy." You said. You met him at the party but you didn't really know any of them.

"He is, we all are. We just make dumb mistakes." Bobby continued kissing down your collar bone. "Cute pj's." He smiled and pulled one spaghetti strap off your shoulder and kissed further down your chest, moving the fabric in its place. You felt shivers as he kiss your now exposed chest. He lifted your legs to wrap around his waist and he started to carry you over to your bed, tripping over obstacles that flooded your floor.

He pinned you to your bed as he continued kissing your chest, making you squirm from the sensitivity. He carried on pulling down your embarrassing heart covered pajama bottoms revealing your white lace panties. He smirked as he started rubbing the already soaked fabric.

"Don't forget there are ears all around us." You bit your lip nervously.

"Do I effect you that bad?" He tugged off your panties and quickly leaned down kissing your sensitive area.

He wrapped his hand around your thigh as he made sweet love to your core. You couldn't lie still as his tongue explored your folds. You tried to contain your moans as if your life depended on it but it was killing you. You bit into your pillow as moans slipped out. You just wanted the sensation to stop from being to much.

"Bobby." You whined causing him to smirk as he inserted a finger to replace his tongue. He moved his mouth up, continued to suck your juices.

"Please, I can't hold it in." You begged. "Haeryung will hear us."

He sucked harder and continued thrusting his finger in quickly. You were about to scream but he leaned up and kissed you to hold it in. His fingers continued doing the work, causing you to finally reach your high, making you feel relieved.

He pulled out his fingers and kissed your forehead that was now glistened with sweat. "Fuck, I can't do this quietly." You we're out of breath.

"Sure you can." He moved off of you to lie on your bed. He faced you away from him and kissed your shoulders as you heard him unzip his jeans. You felt your eyes slowly drift as he brushed his lips over your neck.

You felt him move his hand down until he suddenly lifted your leg a bit so he could push into you. You bit you lip hard from the tightness overcome you, you swore you broke the surface.

You felt him rock against you from behind. The angle was deep that you couldn't help but whine from not being able to moan as loud as you wanted.

You slightly turned your head to look at him. He brought his lips down to yours as he continued to thrust deeply into you. The butterflies were erupting quickly into your stomach.

You laid your head back down as he penetrated you. You felt like you were in a daze. He peppered kisses all along your shoulder giving you chills.

You couldn't help the small moans that slipped your mouth and it was bad enough that the bed made noise with every thrust. You had to be exposed by now, but you still heard no knock on your door. He picked up the pace making you cling onto the bed.

"Bobby." You moaned sounding desperate.

Then you felt your orgasm flood through again, making you weak, hanging off your bed. You felt extra sensitive as he continued his pace but was quickly dying down. He slowed down his pace and suddenly pulled out of you and you can feel his member twitch from behind you and releasing its juices.

"I'm sorry." He said out of breath. "I forgot to bring a condom." You felt his head heavy in your shoulder.

"It's okay." You giggled.

You immediately felt the tiredness overcome you and you turned around to look in his direction. He gave you a weak smile as you cuddled into his chest. You felt warm against him and you still had the butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you both laid there smiling at each other.

After a few moments of silence, you knew you were in the clear and began to wonder what he said earlier.

"You said Seunghoon isn't over Haeryung. Is that really true?" You asked him.

"Yeah." He laughed. "He doesn't admit it, but I can tell."

"What happened between them?"

"They were dating pretty much all freshman year but then the senior theatas at the time, threw the biggest party towards the end of the year. The seniors were actually harsh, according to Hooney, Yoon, and Jinu. They treated them more like pledges then a brotherhood. Made them do stupid stuff."

"It was the first year the dragons blood was created and they made Seunghoon try it first. He said it was a lot stronger then and he got so wasted off of one drink. He ended up sleeping with another girl that night and Haeryung never forgave him. The worst part about it was, it was another kappa." He continued the story.

"Really?"

"She was so upset, she did something to get her kicked out of the sorority. I'm not sure what it was but that's all Seunghoon told me. He said every time he sees her, he still can't help but feel fluttered, even if she is insulting him."

"Aw. She needs to stop being stupid and see that he still loves her." You said.

"That would be nice, but it's been almost 4 years....and she still hasn't forgiven him."

"Maybe we can set up like a blind date or something." You cutely laughed.

"Oh snap." Jennie walked trough the door and Bobby quickly zipped up his pants and you grabbed your blanket hiding your exposed body. She had a key so you didn't even bother worrying if it was Haeryung. "Boy this late at night?" She teased.

"It's only 1:26am." You stuck out your tongue.

"But he has theata written all over him."

"I'll see you later (Y/N)." He kissed your lips sweetly before getting up and climbed out your window.

"I thought you were avoiding him." She said.

"It's hard to avoid when he comes to me." You blushed.

"How cute, He skips the party just so he can spend time with you. How romantic." She smiled.

"He told me something that may break the no theata rule."

"I'm listening." She sat down next to you.

"He told me that Seunghoon is still madly in love with Haeryung."

"What?" Jennie didn't believe you.

"It's true. He made one drunken mistake and she never forgave him. What if we can somehow get them back together?"

"This girl is the ruler of all grudges and you think you can get her to forget the one that broke her heart?" Jennie looked at you with concern.

"We can at least try."

"I'm with you. And maybe the other kappa will step up. And I can be happily together with Hanbin and you with Bobby." She smiled.

"We need a plan, and a good one."

[stopthepres]

“you don’t like her.”

it’s not a question. honestly i can’t remember a single time doe ever actually asked for my opinion about a girl. she always announces the final verdict after x amount of time and i just… well, we both know she’s right. because she’s always right. about most things, especially ME things. that’s what it means to be best friends.

“i don’t like her.” i sigh and stare down at the empty glass in my hand. 

now would be a good time to side step from the conversation and ask the bartender for a refill. in fact, now would be a great time to indulge in the age old tradition of getting wasted at a wedding. unfortunately doe has this way of cornering me in crowded rooms when it’s most inconvenient. 

“i told teddy you wouldn’t like her.” she moves in a little closer to grab my face, pressing her fingers into my cheeks until i pout my lower lip. “look at you. this is not the mug of a boy who wants to fuck a yoga instructor.” she lets go, thank god, and reaches for my free hand instead, sliding her fingers between mine.

“i feel like work outs shouldn’t need instructions anyway.” i say this as a person who hasn’t seen a gym since i quit the soccer team in tenth grade. maybe more importantly i say this as a person holding hands with doe. 

not the girl teddy practically begged me to bring as a date. her name is melanie and she’s one of those people who, i guess, checks a lot of boxes on the dream girl list. she’s smart, she’s funny and she’s been pretty mean to me most of the night. she loudly criticized the menu and even asked if i got my haircut the same place as her eight year old brother. 

but she’s blonde. and she hates dancing. and she doesn’t have strong feelings about saweetie or kendrick so i don’t see how this could ever work.

“so what? you’re going to ignore her the rest of the night then?” doe sounds equal parts thrilled with my misfortune and smug that i’m here with her instead of meeting melanie in the coat room. “leave her hanging until she bails?”

“yo, i can’t just ignore her. that’s rude.”

“you’re literally ignoring her right now.”

“i’m literally trapped by you right now.”

“you’re LITERALLY, like, eight inches taller than me.” she smirks and takes a few small steps backward, slowly releasing her grasp on my hand. “if you wanna go, you go. i can’t stop you.”

but the thing is she definitely can. she knows she can. she knows i’m not about to walk away from her to possibly sleep with someone else. not because i’m head over heels or wildly obsessed or whatever you’re thinking. it’s not like that. 

happy endings are a lame cliche. i don’t want marriage or kids or one of those houses on a street full of houses that look exactly the same. little boxes made of ticky tacky, little boxes on the hillside, little boxes all the same. you know, like  the theme song from weeds. that stuff’s not for me, man. no way.

i will not move in with someone. i will not propose. i will not live happily ever after.

teddy is, however, convinced i’ll change my mind about this someday. she’s also certain doe will change hers, too. not in favor of us being together though. teddy’s a hopeless romantic but not hopeless enough to hope for romance to burst out of me like the crazy ass alien baby thing in that one movie. 

the point i’m trying to make here is i don’t ditch doe to mack on melanie. instead i pass my empty glass to doe. 

she hands it off some friend of the groom who makes the mistake of wandering by at the wrong time. “be an angel and get me something strong enough to make me want to kiss this one.” she winks and he blinks back, confused, and walks away.

“i can’t stand you sometimes,” i mumble, pulling my phone from the inside pocket of my suit jacket. i tap out a text to melanie - an apology for leaving early due to stomach problems. fingers crossed this girl doesn’t ask for any explanation beyond a series of barfing emojis i send as a follow up message. “so,” i add, tucking my phone away again, “do you wanna bounce?”

“but i didn’t get my tall glass of ‘i guess you look good now’ yet.” she smiles with her tongue stuck out between her teeth and it feels like i drank enough for my stance to suddenly go unsteady. 

“you’re a menace.” i laugh and slide an arm around her shoulders, leading her across the dance floor in the direction of the ballroom door.

i can imagine my sister’s signature eye roll off to the side somewhere and i know to expect a series of questions over lunch tomorrow. but it’s cool. i know how to shut down all the arguments for why i should man up and ask doe on a real date. i know every single reason it doesn’t make any sense to ruin a good thing with complications neither of us want.

if doe wanted more, she would tell me. we tell each other everything. it’s always been that way.

i told her about the time i dreamt a bee the size of a cat wouldn’t stop following me around my apartment, buzzing and buzzing and buzzing until i offered it a pop-tart. it was strawberry-flavored which doesn’t make a lot of sense because bees definitely don’t eat those but shit happens. 

she was the first person i told when i kissed a guy and then panicked so hard i twisted my ankle trying to rush away from the whole awkward disaster. she’s the only one who knows it was the dude my sister’s been obsessed with since we were thirteen. no, not the one with the hair. the uglier one with the camera.

i slept in doe’s bed every night the week my dad was in the hospital a year ago. i called doe crying when i was fourteen and thought my mom might be having an affair and i didn’t know what to do. when i was sixteen, i texted doe from the inside of a closet when i tried to hide from this one girl’s dad who i was pretty sure wanted to shoot me. 

doe knows everything about me and i know everything about her is what i’m saying.  like, i know she hates it when her mom tries to pressure her into anything, even if it’s ordering right away at a restaurant she’s been going to since we were kids. 

i know she cries watching titanic. every. fucking. time.

so if doe wanted this, me and her, to be more than sex? she’d tell me. fo shiz. we don’t do secrets. 

 “HEY, DING DONG! ARE YOU LISTENING?” her elbow knocks into my ribs. hard.

“what the fuck? and furthermore… what the ding dong?” 

“it’s like a doorbell, preston,” she explains slowly, like we’re seventeen again and she’s telling me how to put on a condom. like it’s necessary but she can’t believe i’m making her do this. “ding dong. i’m here. pay attention, etc.”

“right.” we step into the hotel elevator and i tighten my hold on her shoulders, bringing her in even closer once she’s pressed the button for our floor. “but why are you ringalinging exactly?”

“because you weren’t listening.”

“we’ve established that.” i lean down and kiss the top of her head, grateful it’s less of a strain when she’s in heels. “tell me what i missed.”

“you’re ordering breakfast tomorrow.” my stomach twists. “to my room, exclusively.” and then it turns. “because you’re staying over.” and it sort of jumps up into my throat somehow. maybe it’s the jolt of our bodies traveling upward. maybe it’s something else entirely.

i swallow hard as we come to a stop and the doors open. “i’m completely okay with all of this.”

“of course you are.” doe nudges out from underneath my arm and rushes right out of the elevator, quickly winding through hallways toward her room with me always struggling to keep up but determined not to lose her.

she stops to wait for me when she reaches her door and loops her arms around my neck when i finally catch up. the kiss is magical in a way i’ve only ever experienced with her - comfortable but electric. i’m out of breath when she eases back slowly, looking up at me like all my secrets are worth keeping. 

like i’m worth keeping.

“you don’t like her?” she whispers but this time it’s a question. a real one.

“i don’t like her,” i say, soft but sure of it. 

“because you like me best.”

she’s always right. about most things, especially ME things.

“because i like you best.” i sigh and kiss her again, deeper this time with my hands low on her hips until we sway and her back thumps into the door. i laugh against her lips, unable to keep it from bubbling up. 

“what the fuck?” she’s laughing, too, but i can tell it’s one of those what’s wrong with you? laughs. 

“dude, we ding donged your door.”

“…do you seriously not know the difference between a doorbell and knocking?”

“do you always have to make fun of me before you fuck me?”

anyway that’s what it means to be best friends. at least for us.

[rootbeergoddess]

Yellow Brick Road

Finally, I have finished @durin-the-deathless21 ‘s fanfic! This is my first trans self-insert story so please let me know how I did and what you think about it. Warning: contains some sexy stuff. I’m still doing writing commissions so if you are interested, shoot me a message!

“This movie is weird.”

“Hush.” You said while leaning against Yondu. “You also say that about every movie we watch.”

“Yeah, but this one is the weirdest.”

“Be quiet, Yondu.”

“But it is!” Yondu sighed. “And I don’t get why the Lee Bee Tees on your home planet like it so much.”

“Yondu, it’s LGBT,” You corrected him, “and people like it because Oz is a wonderful place filled with accepting people. Unlike Earth.”

Yondu was silent but he wrapped an arm around you and continued to watch the film. Dating a Terran had been interesting for him. You were a lot like Peter; you loved music, made references to Terran culture, and was always talking about Terra. You also introduced him to these things called movies. They were very popular back on your home planet, apparently. You had shown him some of your favorites like Toy Story, Moana, and Shrek. He liked those well enough. This Oz movie was okay, but it was a bit weird. Sad for Yondu, it was one of your favorites.

“I still don’t get it!” Yondu sighed. “Why doesn’t this Dorothy girl just kill the witch?”

“She doesn’t have any powers.”

“But them shoes are magical, so why doesn’t she just explode that dumb bimbo’s head?”

“Yondu, don’t call the witch a bimbo and Dorothy doesn’t know the shoes are magical, yet.”

“Why?” Yondu was getting frustrated.

“Because it’s about the journey! Now hush up, I’m trying to watch.”

Yondu grumbled, but then went silent. He rubbed your arm as the movie continued. He wasn’t really paying attention since he was more interested in you. God, he really scored big. Cute, funny, and a great fighter; he wasn’t sure why you stayed with him. He was a mess. But he wasn’t going to complain.

He leaned over and kissed your cheek. When you didn’t react, he gave you another kiss. You tried to push his face away after two more kisses. Beneath your fingers, you felt him grin. Of course, he was being annoying on purpose. Sighing, you pushed him away again as he came in for a fifth kiss. This didn’t stop him. He took your hand in his and started kissing your fingertips.

“Knock it off,” You demanded. “I’m trying to watch.”

“You’ve seen this flick a dozen times,” He said, placing a kiss at your wrist. “C’mon, give Daddy some sugar.”

“Stop,” You tried to get your hand back, but failed. “And stop calling yourself Daddy; you know I hate that.”

“How come?” Yondu kissed up your arm.

“Yondu, stop it!”

This was one of the issues of dating him; he was a lot stronger than you were. Now normally, you could fight him, but you were relaxed and tired. You didn’t want to fight. You wanted to just chill out.

Despite trying to push him off, Yondu was able to pin you to the couch. You told yourself you weren’t going to let him have his way. He always did this. If he got bored, he would start trying to be all suave and romantic. No, it wasn’t going to work this time. It didn’t matter if you could feel his cock pressed against your leg. Nope, that didn’t matter. You were not going to let him get away with being stupidly sexy tonight.

“Get off.”

“Nah,” Yondu went to kiss you, but you dodged his lips. “Oh, ye playing hard ta get? I like that.”

“Off,” You tried to push him off once more. “C’mon, we’re missing one of the best scenes.”

“Nah,” He repeated, kissing your neck. “C’mon now, give us a kiss.”

“If I kiss you, will you let me finish my movie?” You asked with a weary sigh.

“Possibly.”

Sighing again, you let Yondu kiss you. Originally, you had thought a man with such jagged teeth couldn’t possibly be a good kisser. Boy, you had been wrong and thank god for that. Yondu kissed with a fiery passion every single time. Every kiss left you breathless and hungry. This kiss was no different. You closed your eyes as Yondu’s tongue slid into your mouth. So much for being firm.

With your eyes closed, you deepened the kiss. Your arms wrapped around his back, caressing his broad shoulders. Your body tingled as his hand reached up your shirt. His hands were roughed and scared, but you savored each touch he gave you. When he pulled back from the kiss, you were already breathless and your face felt hot. But you smiled at him.

“I have a feeling we’re not going to finish this movie tonight.”

“Nope.”

Yondu stood up, then grabbed your hand and pulled you up. Waggling his eyebrows, he scooped you up into his arms. You wrapped your arms around him, not wanting to fall. Sometimes, you forgot how strong he was. People would underestimate Yondu which was always a mistake. He wasn’t young but he could hold his own in a fight.

He reached the room you two shared. The door opened and then shut behind you as Yondu kissed you. Once more, you felt fire in his kiss. He took you to the bed, all the while still lip-locked. Your heart was going crazy inside your chest. The longer you kissed, the more your body began to ache. It was demanding to be touched, to be satisfied. Every single time you two would begin foreplay, you would quickly become desperate.

Yondu pulled back from the kiss and started the process of removing his clothing. Sitting up, you removed your shirt. For a while, it had been hard for you to be naked around another person. You had some scars due to past surgeries. They weren’t massive, but they were there. Yondu didn’t care. Like many Ravagers, he was covered with scars. He wore them with pride. The first time you had been with him, you had spent hours just running your hands over the scarred tissue.

Undoing your pants, you kept your eyes on Yondu as he continued to undress. You couldn’t help but stare when you saw skin. Yondu didn’t have what people considered a perfect body, but he wasn’t out of shape. He had a bit of pudge, but his arms and legs were all muscle. People underestimated Yondu and that was always a mistake. While he preferred to use his arrow, Yondu could knock out an opponent if given the chance.

“Watcha lookin’ at, sugar?” Yondu had noticed you staring.

“You, of course.”

“I am a fine specimen ain’t I?” Yondu flexed a muscle.

“Jesus Christ, you’re a dork,” You chuckled. “Hurry up and get naked.”

“Yer being demandin’.”

“Well, you’re the one who wouldn’t let me finish my movie and got me all horny. So hurry it up.”

Yondu removed the last layer of his clothing before joining you on the bed. His eyes were glued to you as he crawled towards you. He pulled your pants down when he reached you and your face turned red as he saw your erection. Yondu grinned as he ran a hand down your length through your briefs. You bit your lip and shivered slightly. Gripping his shoulder, you pulled him down and met for a kiss. Pressed against you, his cock rubbed against your briefs.

This was another thing about Yondu you were always in awe of; his cock. He was the perfect size, but it was the way his dick looked that you found interesting. It had some slits on the side and the tip was pointed. You had originally been worried when you two had sex for the first time, but your fears had vanished afterwards.

Yondu nibbled at your lips before his tongue traced your lips. His hands roamed your body, running through your hair, and going down to your lower back. The passion began to build, heat spreading through your body. While you enjoyed Yondu being dominant, you decided you didn’t want him to have all of the fun. You reached down with a small purr and firmly squeezed his cock.

“Oh, fuck,” Yondu panted.

“Like that?” You asked.

“You know I do, darlin’,” Yondu breathed. “Fuck, that feels good.”

You started slowly stroking him. Yondu moaned and you felt him become harder in your hand. His cock, unlike human cocks, would glow when he was aroused. It also felt warm, like it was pulsating with heat. Giggling lightly, you kissed his lips while your hand went faster. Against your lips, you felt Yondu moan. His eyes were closed and he was biting his lip to restrain himself.

“Oh, god,” Yondu bucked his hips. “You ain’t playing fair.”

“Pirates don’t do fair.”

Yondu grabbed your hand on his cock. Then, he grabbed your other hand and pinned them both above your head. Heat rushed to your crotch. God, you loved this side of him. When he was in charge, he just oozed sex appeal.

“Who's in charge here?”

“I am.”

“Keep this up, I’m gonna have ta punish ya.”

“Oh, really? How would you punish me?”

Yondu growled as he roughly pulled your underwear down and released your pinned hands from his grasp. Once you felt his hand on your cock, you arched your hips up to press into his hand more. Your cock rubbed against his hand and Yondu’s smile grew. He kissed you as he started moving his hand up and down your shaft. You smothered your moans against his lips. Desperate to be closer to him, you tightly held onto him.

His hand stopped stroking your cock and, for a second, you considered demanding him to continue. But your protest was silenced when you felt his dry finger probing your hole. You clenched your toes as you grabbed hold of the sheets. Ever so slightly, you arched your back. Every single part of your body was on fire. Pleasure was running through your veins as Yondu teased you. Your cock was engorged at this point and demanded attention.

“Baby, please.”

“Please, what?”

“Fuck me,” You finally said. “Oh, Yondu, please! I need you so badly right now!”

“That so?” He chuckled. “You want me ta fuck that nice lil’ hole of yours?”

God, his dirty talk was always such a turn on. How did one man know how to talk so filthy? Either way, you loved it.

“Yes! Please, Yondu? Please?”

“Since yer being so polite, I guess ol’ Yondu can fuck ya.”

Yondu got situated between your legs, grinning like the Cheshire cat. After using lube and his fingers to thoroughly prepare you, he gripped his cock and lined it up with your anus before gently pushing in. It was tight for just a minute, but then he filled you up and stretched you perfectly. Panting, you gripped his shoulders as he slowly started thrusting. Again, you were in awe of his body. You could see the muscles on his form, taught and well formed. You could have just stared at him all night, but there was no time for starring.

You groaned as his hips snapped forward. God, he felt great. He started out painfully slow, enjoying the look of desperation on your face.  Whimpering, you pushed forward only to have him grab your hips. Once more you whimpered, but Yondu just chuckled.

“Ya gotta be patient, darlin’.”

You didn’t want to be patient. You wanted him now! You wanted all of him and you didn’t want to wait. But Yondu was in charge. He was going to make sure you earned it. Yondu captured your lips with his, his tongue immediately searching for yours. Again, you tried pushing forward only to have him use his body to pin yours down firmly, so you couldn’t try to move against him again. His dark red eyes bore into you and you felt like he could see into your soul.

“What did I say? I said ya gotsa be patient.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t think you are.”

Yondu grinned, showing his pointed teeth. He propped his weight off of you before he thrust forward and moved one of his hands to your cock. He began to slowly rub your length, sending jolts of pleasure running through your body. Oh, god, this felt amazing! The pleasure was overwhelming, filling you to the brim and making you feel like you were going to burst. Gasping, you were unable to say anything. It was all too much, making your brain empty of all logical thought. All that was left was ‘fuck’ and ‘more between your moans and small whimpers.

Yondu watched you writhe around beneath him. You could read his face. He got off seeing you helpless. There was something he liked about seeing you like this. It really boosted his ego to see you bend to his will. But it was fine by you. You’d be his toy any day of the week. All you wanted to do was please him.  It was like a drug. The happier he was with you, the more content you were; all you wanted was his approval, to make him smile, to make him aroused.

“How does it feel, sugar?” He asked.

“Good. So good. More?”

It was becoming harder for you to speak full sentences. You could feel that familiar feeling in your balls. Yondu felt you twitch in his hand, making his grin grow wider. His teeth shined as he smiled down at you and squeezed your cock. You felt like you were drenched in sweat, your body was rocked with heat. Yondu’s hand squeezed again, making you moan loudly. There was a tremble in your balls. No, why was it coming so early? Couldn’t you make this last longer?

Yondu’s teeth on your neck brought you back to the moment at hand. He licked upwards and then kissed your lips harshly. You grabbed at his back and your nails scratched over raised scars as you felt your cock twitch. There was a tremble in your balls as he continued fucking you. No, you weren’t going to be able to last. Panting, you held onto him for dear life as your orgasm came. Yondu fucked you through it until he followed suit. He pressed his head against yours as he tried to catch his breath.

“Damn, that was good,” He said with a happy and content sigh.

It had been good. It was always good with Yondu. Yondu was crass and rude, but he made you feel amazing every single time.

“So good,” You felt a bit wobbly. “Amazing.”

“Did I tire ya out, dollface?”

“A bit,” You said. “You also got me dirty.”

“Yeah, but I betcha you loved it,” He said with a grin as he moved to lay beside you. “Besides, we can take a shower.”

“I suppose-” You paused. “Yondu?”

“Yes, darlin’?”

“Do you love me?”

Yondu blinked before turning to face you

“That was random,” Yondu replied. “Yes, I do love ya. Love ya a lot in fact. Why ya asking?”

“I just--I don’t know. I sometimes feel a bit scared this is all going to go away.”

“Aw, not this again,” Yondu wrapped an arm around you. “Baby, I promise I ain’t going anywhere. You don’t ever have to go back to Terra.”

The two of you had had this talk before. Terra was a place you never wanted to go back to. Despite your family living there, you didn’t want anything to do with them. There was always a fear that you would have to go back. It was a terrifying thought. Your family had always been very rigid and conservative. When they had found out that you prefered dressing like a boy, all hell had broke loose. It was a nightmare just having to wake up and deal with them. There were times where you regretted telling them anything. You had been begging for an escape for years.

That was when Yondu came.

Like an angel coming down from the heavens, he had brought his Ravager ship to Earth. Many people had been scared of the Ravagers, but you? You found them fascinating. How many people got to say their town had been visited by space pirates? Not many!  Plus, Yondu was technically a hero. He had saved the galaxy alongside the guardians. He had almost died, too. How could you not be interested in that?

So, you had snuck out of the house one night and found his crew in a local bar. At first, you had just stared at him. How could you approach someone so confident? Then, he had noticed you. You were terrified for a second. Would he think you were weird? To your surprise, he asked you to join him and his men. At first, you didn’t know if you should. As exciting as space pirates were, they were still pirates. But Yondu looked inviting. As strange as he was, as alien as he was, there was something about him that you were drawn to.  Before you knew it, you had spent all night with him; talking about his various adventures in space.

Then, he asked if you could ever go with him.  

You hardly had to think about it. As soon as you got home, you snuck upstairs and began to pack. Once you had your suitcase ready, you joined Yondu.

“Does it scare you that much? Possibly going back home?”

“Yeah,” You sat up, sighing slightly. “I hated my family, I hated my home. It was so unforgiving.”

“But you love the vastness of space, eh?” Yondu sat up, and leaned against you.

“Yes,” You said with a small smile. “It’s because I can be whoever I want and no one can tell me otherwise.”

“That’s how life should be, baby,” Yondu grabbed your face to make you look at him. “Y/N, you’re your own person and you always will be. It doesn’t matter what other fuckers say.”

Smiling, you kissed Yondu. Never did you think you would be this happy. Travelling through space with a man who adored you. A man who treated you like you were the most important in the entire galaxy. A man who would do anything for you. How did you end up with someone as wonderful as Yondu? You would never know. You did know that he was all yours and that you were all his. It felt nice to belong to someone.

“When did you get so romantic?”

“When you get to be my age, darling, you realize life is boring unless you have someone to spend it with. Took me awhile to learn that lesson,” Yondu kissed you back. “Travelling the galaxy with a bunch of smelly Ravagers gets kinda stale.”

“Yondu, that's your crew. Be nice to them.”

“I don’t hafta be nice if I don’t wanna. ‘Sides, it’s true. None of them fuckers know how to use a shower properly.”

“Lucky for you, I know my way around a shower,” You said as you stood up. “C’mon, baby.”

Yondu grinned as he followed you towards the bathroom.

[perpetually-jungshook]

All that Glitters is Gold(ilocks)

Genre: humor, smut (literally a pwp), emphasis on H U M O R ☀️

Summary: I REPENT OKAY? FIRST TIME WITH GOLDILOCKS TAE, request|s

characters based on the Goldilocks series

Warnings: oral sex, penetration, also some shenanigans with a window

Word Count: 4.2k

“Harder, Taehyung,” your voice is shaky with effort. “Push harder.”

“Baby, I’m trying okay?”

“It’s not going in. Obviously you’re not trying hard enough.”

He pouts, sweat building on his hairline, “It’s not my fault the hole is so small. Wah. N-now it’s stuck.”

Letting out a loud puff, you lean against the window frame, “I just want to know why the hell you popped the damn screen but didn’t even consider figuring out how to put it back in first.”

Taehyung laughs breathily, “I didn’t think it’d be this difficult.”

“What were you even doing?” you ask, amused.

Taehyung jiggles the window screen, dislodging it and setting it on the ground outside. He takes a deep breath, “You want the truth?”

“No. I asked so you’d lie to me.”

He smirks, but then giggles, “I was letting out a bee.”

You deadpan, “Letting out… a what?”

“A bee. It was stuck in the window.”

Already knowing he wouldn’t have killed it, you run your fingers through your hair, reach through the gaping hole that is now the window frame, and give Taehyung a playful shove, “You couldn’t grab a cup or something?”

“I’m sorry, baby,” he gives you a guilty, boxy smile. “I guess I didn’t think about it.”

You tap the tip of his nose, “No, you didn’t. And now we’ve broken the window.”

“It’s not broken. Just disassembled. Besides, we can always ask Jimin to fix it when he gets home.”

“Speaking of which, we should totally drink the last of the marshmallow hot chocolate before he does so we don’t have to share.”

“What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion.”

Taehyung arches an eyebrow, voice getting mischievously quiet, “Oh, so we’re treating ourselves?”

You lean forward on the windowsill, folding your arms on it. It’s overcast, just a few vividly visible rays of sunshine break through the blanket of clouds. One of these beams of soft light would ideally land on Taehyung, making his golden, rosy cheeks glow, and a gust of wind would thread through his hair, guiding that familiar musky pine scent to your olfactory system.

But no. The air is heavy with a potential storm on the horizon and everything around you is cast in a muted grayscale. Good thing you don’t actually care.

“Sure, we’ll be home alone for a while…”

Taehyung leans against the windowsill so that he’s eye level with you, arms brushing yours, tongue teasingly flicking across his lips, “So we could drink marshmallow hot chocolate… snuggle into some blankets… get each other off… watch a movie- I mean the possibilities are endless.”

You immediately pick up on that hidden message, smirking, “Get each other off?”

He bounces onto his toes, lips grazing your cheek to whisper teasingly, “That sounds like a fantastic option and I’m glad you suggested it.”

You want to slap your forehead, but you settle with a nip to his ear, “You’re right. I am pretty brilliant.”

“Are you?” Taehyung pulls back slightly, pressing a playfully quick kiss to your lips. “I thought I was the brilliant one.”

Before he can draw away, you lace your fingers through the hair at the back of his neck, leaning further out of the window until it digs into your tummy. But the small amount of pain is worth it as you meet his velvety-

“Ow! What the fuck, babe?” you almost fall over as he tries to drag you outside, over the hard edge of the windowsill.

Laughing, Taehyung lifts you enough so that your feet return to the carpet, “Sorry~ I was getting impatient and wanted to hug you.”

“Hug me? That’s a weak excuse and you know it,” you flick his forehead, yet aren’t even remotely angry.

“Wah, screw the window. Meet me in the kitchen.”

“The kitchen?”

Taehyung pauses, jabbing his finger over his shoulder, “Yeah? To make hot chocolate? And probably make out afterward?”

You hum thoughtfully, “Okay but listen, while marshmallow hot chocolate flavored kisses sound great, maybe we skip the kitchen and just get right to the making out part?”

Taehyung’s smile brightens, eyebrows wiggling suggestively, “Never mind. I knew you were the smart one. Close the window and I’ll come inside.”

“You’ll be coming somewhere alright,” you smirk.

“Fuck,” he says humorously, chewing on his lower lip for a moment as he backs away to maintain eye contact. “I knew you were my best friend for a reason.”

By the time you pull yourself back through the window and close it, Taehyung, panting slightly, jogs into the room and slams into you, pressing you against the cold glass. His lips attach to your neck, pressing wet, open mouthed kisses along the skin.

You let out a contented sigh, ”Good to know I'm not the only horny one.”

Taehyung lets out an amused hum, "Baby, what are you talking about? I'm always horny.”

He playfully licks up your neck and you shove him away, laughing, "Um ew? What did I tell you about using tongue like that?”

"Don't unless I'm doing it to your lady flower?” He takes a step closer.

"Kim Taehyung-! Wait, my lady flower? What the hell is that?”

"Have you ever looked at a vagina?” Another step.

“Not extensively?"

"But you have one…"

“Babe, I don't spend my free time holding up mirrors to look at my cunt.”

“Well anyway, I can't stand the word 'pussy.' It's like... gross and cringey. And who decided to call it a vagina?" He idly presses a kiss to your jaw line as you let him lean against you again, "That's such an ugly word for such a pretty piece of anatomy.”

You try to hold back a laugh, ”You’re ruining the mood. So if you want your dick sucked, stop talking.”

Pause.

"Wait you're gonna suck it this time-?”

"Okay I've changed my mind.”

“Wait."

"Nope you talked.”

"But baby..." Taehyung pushes out his lower lip and brushes his nose against your cheek, nuzzling lightly.

"No butts," you tease, "I haven't even had sex yet, how could you suggest I do anal?”

He pauses, stiffening momentarily before giggling, voice becoming intimately quiet, deep, "I mean... we could always change that whole virginity thing... but I'm okay with fingers and mouths if you are."

You watch him carefully. Taehyung always looks like he’s about to have a laugh, whether from amusement or at your expense you’re not sure. No, wait. He’s not a bad person. There’s not a mean bone in his- well, okay, he can be a rotten trickster, but Kim Taehyung is anything except cruel. So is he offering to take your virginity? Or is it a harmless joke?

The two of you have fooled around before. A dozen times or so. You’ve jerked him off, he’s fingered you, and he’s eaten you out, but the two of you have never gone beyond that. You and Taehyung are friends with benefits. You’re both completely okay with that. And you doubt sex would change anything. So… why not?

You shrug, “You wanna do the dirty? I’m down.”

He backs up a bit, eyes wide, “Wait what?”

“You heard what I said. Let’s have sex.”

Taehyung snorts, failing to hide a smile, “And the award for discreteness, eloquence, and sensuousness goes to…”

You cut him off by grabbing his shirt and pulling him forward into a kiss. It’s sloppy and meant to distract him, so you add a bit more teeth and tongue than necessary. It only takes a few seconds for him to guide you away from the window and over to the bed.

With a light push to your shoulders, you fall back onto the mattress and Taehyung stands over you, crossing his arms.

“Okay, first things first. Do I have to use a condom?”

“Yes”

“Alright,” he winks cheekily, pulling one out of his back pocket and wiggling it.

“You just… happen to have that on you?”

“Hey, you never know when a pretty girl will show up ready to fuck.”

“When does that ever happen?”

Taehyung gestures around, a smug smile on his face, “Like now?”

“Touché.”

“Great! So protection is taken care of. Also, are you sure-?”

You groan, tugging at his pants, “Babe really?”

Taehyung takes your hands turning them palm up to comfortingly massage them, “Look, I know I joke around a lot, but I want this to actually be special for you, okay?”

You arch an eyebrow, “Was your first time ‘special?’”

“Nope. I lost mine at Jimin’s sixteenth birthday party. I remember about twenty percent of it. Like I stuck it in and boom blank. Nothing,” Taehyung laughs, scrunching his nose. “We’re not making that mistake for you. It’s going to be pleasant and relaxing and-”

“And apparently it’s gonna take forever,” you laugh, falling back to lie on the bed, knees bent, feet hanging off the end.

Taehyung shakes his head, obviously amused, “I can’t believe you’re not nervous about this.”

“Why would I be? I’ve seen your dick, my hymen is already broken, and I trust you.”

He purses his lips, then nods, smiling easily again, “Good point. Help me get your pants off.”

Within thirty seconds, you’re lying back on the bed in nothing but your bra and underwear while Taehyung, now shirtless, shimmies out of his shorts and tosses a bottle of lube onto the bed beside you. You scoot back against the pillows, waiting not so patiently, as he crawls onto the mattress, smiling mischievously. Spreading your legs a bit for him to settle down comfortably between them, reaching up to push your fingers through his messy hair, you feel your heart start to fluter with excitement.

Taehyung leans forward, giving you a soft kiss. Yeah, you’ll have none of that. A quick nip to his bottom lip tells him what kind of mood you’re in. And at this point, you come to a decision. You’d rather have rough, non-penetration sex than have Taehyung treat you like a delicate flower.

His body responds immediately to the little bite, tongue piercing through the seam of your lips. Obviously, you don’t try to stop it. Instead, you push yours forward to meet him, feeling Taehyung smile as he probably figures out you’re teasing him. A small pinch to your hip makes you yelp in surprise, laughter lacing the noise. You give his back a playful slap, but he only uses it as a catalyst to let out a long, loud groan, a noise that runs straight to the pit of your stomach in a flood of heat.

Knowing Taehyung, it was definitely on purpose.

One of his hands, the one that pinched you, slides up your body, groping your breasts over your bra. Ah, of course. Classic Taehyung. He squeezes, lips traveling to your jaw and neck. To encourage him, you slowly lift your hips to push against him, already feeling his half-hard arousal through his boxers.

He groans again, rolling against you slightly. The sensation sends a pleasant shiver through your body and you reward him by running your nails up his back. Honestly, you’d love for him to dry hump you into bliss- it’s a thought that has occupied your mind since your first wet dream about your friend- but that’s for another day. Hopefully.

To encourage Taehyung further, you reach down and palm him with a teasingly snide, “Oh, so I’m losing my virginity but I’m gonna be doing all the work?”

“No…” he whines playfully. You can feel the smile against your skin as he continues to press kisses along your neck, then moving to your collar bones. It’s a simple matter to arch your back against him, giving Taehyung the silent permission he needs to rid you of your pesky bra. It takes less than two seconds for him to put that oral fixation to good use.

Your next breath is shaky as his tongue works diligently over your nipple, a misty feeling of pleasure washing over you. He switches breasts, this time adding small nibbles as one of his hands travels to push down the waistband of his boxers.

There’s no reason to lie. Taehyung’s dick is average. Maybe. It’s really the only dick you’ve ever seen outside of a porn video, but you’d looked it up and Google agrees one should expect about five inches. You’ve also never held up a ruler to Taehyung’s dick (not that he wouldn’t let you if you ask nicely), but eyeballing it… it’s probably about five and a half inches when erect. Nothing too special. It’s not even “your dick” in the romantically, playfully possessive meaning of the phrase.

Nevertheless, it’s going to be the first one you’re going to put inside of you and that’s cool. Yup. Totally cool.

Taehyung unabashedly starts stroking himself, motions quick and precise with practiced ease. He releases your breast from his mouth with a wet ‘pop’ to explain with a smirk, “Nothing really new yet. We just gotta get both of us worked up enough to-”

You cut him off with another light smack and a laugh, “What is this? Explicit National Geographic?”

He presses a kiss to your neck, giggling, “I’ve always told you what I’m doing. Remember? I’m supposed to be teaching you.”

“Could we just pretend I’m a kinesthetic learner for a little while?”

Taehyung sighs comically, dropping his head in the crook of your neck, “Okay, okay. Just tell me if anything hurts or if you need me to stop, hmm?”

You nod desperately, lifting your hips to brush against him, the material of your underwear being the only barrier. It’s frustrating. Taehyung has always been one to “grab life by the balls and think about consequences later” but of course he’s got to be careful when it matters most. Damn him for being a good person.

“I need an answer out loud-”

“I hear you loud and clear. Now put your dick in me.”

He giggles, “Ever the romantic one.”

“I swear, if you make me regret asking you to-”

You cut yourself off as he shuffles down, prying your knees apart and kissing your inner thigh. The smug smirk on his face says enough in response. He kisses you again, this time poking out his tongue and dragging just the tip of the warm, wet muscle all the way to the apex of your thighs. You shiver as he finds your entrance. Taehyung probes around, pulling little sighs and quiet whines from your mouth.

“Babe, more…”

He gives you an acknowledging hum, running his hands up your thighs to spread them wider. He pulls back a bit, reaching for the lube and squirting a generous amount on his fingers, spreading it around as he descends back to kiss your entrance. With his clean hand, he parts your folds, making room for his tongue in other, better places. It takes a lot of concentration and willpower for you to keep your legs in place and not instinctively try to choke him. Your hands close around two fistfuls of sheets, but as he sucks and laves it's not enough.

Your next choice is lacing your fingers through his hair, tugging and pulling in hopes of giving him some stimulation too, even if you can't reach where he probably needs you most. Taehyung groans against you, causing a pleasant shudder to run up your spine. Your hands move again, this time ghosting across your stomach, coming to rest on your breasts. Without the slightest bit of embarrassment, you start playing with yourself, teasing your self, chasing the high you know he won't let you have yet.

Weight supported by his elbows, feet lightly touching the floor off the end of the bed, his other hand is free to tease you too. He eases one finger inside and you immediately tighten around it, needing more, your muscles naturally trying to pull him in. The lube mutes the feeling slightly, making his hand slicker, but the sounds as he pumps… you squeeze your breasts, chewing on your bottom lip, back arching, muscles clamping around him again.

“Patience, baby,” Taehyung whispers against your heat. Yeah, that's still a virtue you don't have.

You writhe against him as he pushes in second knuckle deep, curling his finger upward, alternating sucking and circling his tongue over your clit. He drags the digit in and out a couple of times before adding a second one. The stretch doesn't hurt, your body adapting with a certain degree of familiarity. Your heels dig into his shoulders as he curls his fingers again.

Just as the coil in your stomach begins to tighten, mind filling with a delicious mist, Taehyung pulls away. Of course. You protest with a whine, one of your hands leaving your chest to reach for your clit. It never finds its destination. Taehyung bats your hand away, licking his lips to clean them.

“Do you know how fucking hot it is to watch you play with yourself?” He laughs, placing his fingers back at your entrance, but not dipping in, keeping you on edge.

“So why won't you let me do it?” You pout, pushing out your lower lip.

Taehyung gives you a boxy smile, “Because right now that's my job. Ready?”

“Yes,” you prop yourself up, reaching for his dick, wanting to prompt him to hurry the fuck up already, but not wanting to sounding desperate (it’s probably too late for that though).

He beats you to it, grabbing himself first, hand closing around the base of his length. Taehyung pumps a couple times, dragging his hand slowly to his tip. His gaze never leaves yours, a cocky smile playing on his face, even rhythm of his breathing fluttering with every stroke.

Rolling on a condom with speed that only comes from repetition, Taehyung crawls over you, pressing you into the mattress until you can feel his warm arousal pressing against your core. He pulls his hand forward a bit to circle the tip of his dick against your entrance. It feels strange, especially with the relatively slick surface of the latex. It's very different than a tongue or fingers. Not that you're complaining. He adds more lube, the slight chill causing you to tighten around nothing.

“I'm gonna go slow, but you better tell me if it hurts. Well, it’s probably going to hurt a little no matter what, but-”

“Trust me, you'll be the first person to know.”

“Deal,” he beams. Then his hips press forward. Getting past the tip is fine, it's the next inch that causes you to clench your jaw and grit your teeth. Okay, maybe you’ll take back that whole “not wanting to be treated like a delicate flower” thing.

“Relax, baby,” Taehyung presses a kiss to the soft skin beneath your ear. There's nothing heated or desperate about it as he stills inside of you. “Just breathe.”

Two fingers had been fine. But this? This hurts. And not in a good way. With the amount of smut you’ve read (and your mental collection has grown rather extensive), you were expecting him to slip right in- after a little initial pain- but from there it should've turned into an easy in, out motion, chased by pleasure. Over the next two minutes, you have to fight your body for every inch of Taehyung’s length. It's not so much a problem at your entrance than an ache higher up.

You're pretty sure he only goes a little over halfway.

“Do you need me to pull out?”

“No, just give me a sec,” your reply is breathy as you slowly force yourself to relax around the intrusive, foreign object.

Taehyung keeps his breaths even and there's the vague sense of wishing you knew what he was thinking, but this is definitely something that stays at the back of your mind, toes flexing, fingers twitching, anything to keep your mind off of your core for just a moment.

With a few deep breaths, your body finally seems to accept him. The stretch becomes numb, well not numb, but bearable. Just relax. Relax.

“What do you need?” Taehyung’s voice is soft and he runs a hand comfortingly through your hair. “What can I do?”

“I'm okay. Y-you can move. Just slow.”

“Tell me if you need me to stop, okay?”

“Sure.”

Taehyung swivels his hips and relief floods through your body, but you stiffen as soon as he pushes back in, not going past the invisible line you’d set before. If it had been anyone else inside you, you're pretty sure they would get impatient, but your friend doesn't protest. With each gradual thrust, your body acclimates, accommodating his length with more and more familiar ease. As soon as the ache becomes an afterthought, you finally take the time to notice his flushed cheeks, the sweat that's begun to bead at his hairline, the gentle flex of his stomach and leg muscles as he eases into and out of you.

A small, shaky sigh escapes his lips and the sound sends a beautiful wave of heat to the bottom of your stomach.

“You okay?” He asks quietly, head dropping to rest in the crook of your neck where his teeth graze your skin.

“I’m fine,” you manage. “You?”

“Fine,” Taehyung parrots softly. He's clearly restraining himself, something he doesn't do very often.

You would be thoroughly impressed if he didn't come three minutes later.

“Sorry,” he laughs breathily as he pulls out. “Caught me a bit by surprise.”

“Really?” Your reply is full of sarcasm and disappointment, but mostly humor.

“Well in my defense, a lot of girls don't come during their first time- but! I'm not about to leave you hanging,” he makes quick work of cleaning himself up before pulling you to lie against his chest. Taehyung’s fingers dip between your legs to find your clit and start rubbing gentle but fast circles. “Look, you hardly even bled. And it'll definitely be easier next time.”

You snort, a shiver of pleasure running up your spine despite the strange empty, yet sore feeling left in your core, “Next time?”

“Yes, next time, because you know you love my dick,” Taehyung giggles and presses a kiss to your cheek. He’s probably worried he hurt you. But while it did hurt, it isn’t his fault and you’re not about to hold it against him. You run your hands up and down his bare thighs soothingly, massaging. His free hand comes up to play with your breasts.

You groan loudly in fake annoyance, trying to cover up the unevenness your breathing has suddenly acquired, “Yeah, fine. I do.”

“Exactly~”

“Fuck you.”

“You just did! Kind of.”

This orgasm is small and definitely not worth the amount of crap he just put you through, window shenanigans included, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't appreciate the fact that it had been Taehyung and not anyone else.

As soon as you stop trembling, he lifts you up and carries you to the bathroom, wetting a washcloth with warm water and getting to work, telling you out loud that he's cleaning up but also how the heat will help your muscles.

You don't say much in response, just smiling and thinking, “Whoever ends up marrying this idiot is going to be really lucky.” Of course, you would never give him the satisfaction of knowing that thought crossed your mind. He wraps you in a bath towel before taking you back to his room and setting you on the bed.

As he hops into a pair of boxers, he stumbles toward the door, talking over his shoulder, “I’m gonna go get you some clothes, anything you want in particular-?”

The sound of the front door opening makes both of you freeze. Jimin’s voice floats down the hall, “____, Tae? Where are you?”

Taehyung picks up a shirt off the floor, throwing it at you, and despite feeling like pudding, you manage to not only put it on but also make it under the covers before your partner in crime finishes yelling, “Hey Chim, welcome home. We’re in my room.”

Jimin appears in the doorway just as Taehyung opens it. His nose immediately wrinkles, “Yah! If you two are gonna get each other off can you at least crack a window or something?”

Taehyung giggles, “I would, but I can't.”

“Why not?”

The younger boy gestures grandiloquently to his window, “The screen… popped off and I couldn't figure out how to put it back on.”

Jimin slaps his forehead, “Let me guess. You were letting out a bug.”

Taehyung just shrugs guiltily.

“Fine, I'll take a look at it later- just keep your door closed. I don't need the apartment smelling like jizz.”

“Yes sir!” Taehyung does a comical salute before Jimin walks away, grumbling.

As soon as you're alone with him again, your friend bounces back over to the bed and flops down next to you, “I'm so sleepy… cuddle me? Please?”

“I dunno… that sex was pretty terrible,” you tease. “Do you deserve cuddles?”

He whimpers, pushing out his lower lip, “Baby, you know I tried my best.”

You roll your eyes affectionately, “Yeah. I guess you did. Come here.”

Taehyung beams, giving you a boxy smile as he scoots over, wrapping an arm around your waist, tangling your legs together, and pressing his face into your breasts. You sigh, but smile.

Yup. Classic Taehyung.

✩✩✩♔✩✩✩

A/N: happy late birthday to @bun-squad​!!

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[eveies0]

Lesbian Sex Story

Vibrators for Women and Couples

Kara didn’t want to believe the trope about lesbian bed death, but she and Tracy hadn’t had sex in what felt like forever. At first, Kara hadn’t even noticed. She was so elated to find someone with whom she connected and could share nerdy hobbies and dad jokes. The beginning of their relationship had been so blissful, and Kara had spent it equal parts giddy and anxious that it wouldn’t last. As one date turned into two, and weeks into months, she found herself losing that edge little by little. Finally, Tracy suggested that the pair move in together. It only made sense, after all.Kara was finally at a point where she could trust her parent and herself and agreed. Then, the duo was working on combining their households and aligning their schedules and lifestyles. It had been so long since Kara had lived with someone; she forgot how much work it could be, and they both owned so much junk! Still, she was allowing herself to be happy, to feel assured with her relationship and to bask in the moment. > Go here for Rabbit Vibrators Their sex life hadn’t slipped until after the wedding. Kara hadn’t noticed right away. For perhaps the first time in her life, she was comfortable. Sure, she and her wife were no longer having sex as often, but it was wonderful when they did. The rest of the time, she finally felt a serenity she had always craved, and she never hesitated to shower Tracy with love. There was no mistaking how strong Kara’s adoration was for her wife. So it came as a surprise when, one day over lunch, Tracy brought up their sex life or lack thereof. Kara hadn’t realized how long it had bee —  over a month — since she and her wife had last slipped between the sheets. Sure, they were no longer pawing at each other like teenagers, but the lust had been replaced with comfort for her. Apparently, her wife didn’t feel the same. From Tracy’s demeanour, Kara had guessed that the lack of sex was distressing. She had never meant to cause her wife any harm and was quick to assure Tracy that she was still as attractive than ever and desired sex. It had just fallen to the wayside in the whirlwind of moving in together and getting married. Her wife’s confession made Kara’s stomach drop, but she was willing to do any and everything in her power to make Tracy happy. So the two of them decided on a plan of weekly date nights, and Tracy wanted Kara to initiate more. While Kara was happy to do so, she also felt intimidated and a bit out of her depth. Tracy had typically been the one to initiate sex. But there’s no time like the present, so Kara began brainstorming ways she would be able to give her wife a sexy surprise. As luck would have it, Kara didn’t need to work hard. Although she and Tracy hadn’t scheduled a date night, Kara was trying to be more intentional with her time and attention. The pair had curled up on the sofa. Kara wasn’t really able to concentrate on the movie that Tracy had picked. She was focusing on how nice it felt to have prolonged physical contact with her wife, but she was also a bit apprehensive about the state of their relationship. She had only just begun to feel fully relaxed about it before Tracy had brought up her complaint. > Go here for Couples Love Balls Still, her head fit so easily in the crook of Tracy’s neck, and it only felt natural to curl her fingers around her wife’s, then trace them along her inner arm. Kara hadn’t even realized she had initiated anything with her few touches, and when looked at her wife, Tracy was looking down at her expectantly. Kara took a long moment to take in the woman she had been lucky enough to marry, noting her strong figure, her blonde hair shaved on one side and longer on the other, and her piercing blue eyes. Tracy had a strong jaw, and her nose had the slightly crooked, which Kara had always loved. Despite her anxiety, Kara smiled, straightened her spine, and leaned up to kiss her wife. As soon as their lips met, she felt anxiety rush out of her body. The tension seemed to melt away as she melted into the other woman. She had been so busy worrying that she had forgotten how good it felt to touch Tracy or how much she missed it, even though she was otherwise content. Kara grasped her wife’s face with both hands and kissed her firmly. It wasn’t as sexy as in the movies, and she pulled back to giggle. “What? Tracy implored. But Kara found herself unable to stop. Her giggles turned to laughter, and soon she had fallen over on the couch as a full-fledged laughter attack, like the ones she remembered from her childhood, had overtaken her. Her eyes were wet with tears, and she gasped for breath. Rather than finding the moment ruined, Tracy leaned down and kissed Kara. She kissed Kara until the woman was no longer laughing. There was a hunger and intensity in those kisses that might have startled Kara if she hadn’t already realized how much Tracy missed having sex. Kara was more than happy to receive them. Finally, Tracy broke their lip-lock. “Come on.” She motioned to the bedroom, pulling Kara by the hand. When they entered the room, Tracy dropped her wife’s hand and began pulling off her clothes. Sensing the urgency, Kara followed suit, leaving a pile of clothing strewn about the floor. Tracy gazed at her wife’s naked body and reached out. Kara was shocked when Tracy reached out with her hand, slipped two fingers into her pussy, and used it as a handhold to pull her to the bed. Kara awkwardly made her way to her wife, nearly falling but managing to prop herself with one knee on the bed. In this position, Tracy could begin to finger Kara in earnest. As Kara tipped her head back and moaned softly in response to her wife’s fingers working expertly inside her. Tracy leaned forward to suck at her wife’s nipples and take them into her mouth. Kara reached to tousle and tug Tracy’s hair, holding her head close to her chest. When Kara couldn’t take it anymore, she lightly yanked Tracy’s head away by the hair before planting a firm kiss on her lips. Then, she pushed the woman back onto the bed and straddled her thigh, Tracy’s fingers still in her pussy. Then, it was Kara’s turn to stimulate her wife. Her fingers probed between the folds of Tracy’s lower lips and began stroking her clitoris. Tracy raised her hips and gasped in response. Suddenly, Kara realised that she needed to taste Tracy, and dismounted her wife’s thigh before separating Tracy’s legs and kneeling between them. She could already smell her partner’s musk, pungent from her desire. Kara leaned forward, extended her tongue, and licked her wife’s labia slowly. Then, she pointed her tongue and pushed it between Tracy’s lips to zone in on her clitoris. With one hand, she spread Tracy’s labia for better access, pressing her nose into the woman’s flesh above her clitoris as her tongue worked diligently. Kara wondered why she wasn’t doing this all the time, and felt a pang of guilt it had been so long since they had last made love. With her other hand, she opened the nightstand drawer to her side and fumbled to locate a sex toy within the drawer. Finally, her fingers grasped the vibrator she was looking for. > Go here for Anal Dildos Without pausing her oral ministrations, she pressed the button on the toy to turn it on. It buzzed to life. Then, Kara paused briefly. She wasn’t sure where to find a bottle of lube. Instead, she looked up at Tracy and, making eye contact, inserted the toy into her mouth to wet it. Tracy’s chest rose with a deep breath. Kara finally broke eye contact as she looked down, spreading her wife’s lips with fingers before inserting the toy. When the shaft was in place, snuggled against Tracy’s G-spot, Kara returned to her pleasurable activity. With the vibrator rumbling internally and her wife licking and sucking on her clitoris, Tracy knew her orgasm was imminent. Although she had gotten off in the month since the last time they had had sex, her desire made the sensations feel even more encompassing and intense. Tracy placed a hand at the back of Kara’s head, pushing it closer to her hips, so she could grind herself against Kara’s face. Although Kara found it harder to breathe when her wife did this, the thought was overtaken by the joy of knowing that her wife was about to come, so Kara continued her steady licking strokes. It didn’t take long. Kara felt the muscle contractions against her tongue when Tracy’s climax began, and Tracy’s breathless moans turned into loud shouts. Kara was glad they had moved into a house and weren’t still fucking in her apartment with paper-thin walls. The pressure that Tracy applied to Kara’s head as well as that added from her thighs squeezing Kara’s temples was harder than ever had before. But it was short lasted. As Tracy’s orgasm subsided, so did the pressure. Her hand fell back on the bed and thighs parts; Kara was able to breathe. As Kara crawled onto the bed next to her wife, she saw that Tracy was smiling, a smile perhaps bigger than any Kara had seen over the past month. Kara switched off the toy and tossed it on the bed next to their bodies. She draped a leg over her wife’s thighs and pulled Tracy’s shoulder toward her, so that they were facing one another. The women kissed passionated for a moment, until Tracy broke the kiss, reached over her wife’s body and grabbed the discarded vibrator. It was still slick with her natural lubrication. Tracy pushed her wife’s legs apart, and slid the toy between her lips before flicking it on. Kara gasped slightly when she felt the vibrator come to life. Tracy was stroking the toy against her G-spot, milking it just the way Kara had taught her. Kara reached one hand between her legs to stroke her clit. Her movements were rough and furious; there was no need to warm up. Tracy stroked her wife’s body and paid attention to Kara’s breathing and movements, so she could work in tangent with them. When Kara’s muscles began to tense, Tracy stroked the vibrator more firmly against her wife’s G-spot. Kara pressed her fingers firmly against her pubic bone in a way that would make most women cringe. But it was the pressure that Kara needed to get off. > Go here for Beginners Vibrators Just before her orgasm rolled over her body, Kara spoke, offering Tracy instructions. “Hold it there. I’m going to…” But before she could even finish the sentence, she was coming. The vibrator moved with the force of the contractions moving the vibrator within her pussy. Tracy kept the toy pressed firmly against her wife’s G-spot. “Now,” commanded Kara, and Tracy slowly dragged the G-spot across her G-spot one last time. As she pulled the toy from inside her wife, a stream of liquid followed. Kara pushed with her pubic muscles to forcefully squirt. Her cum coated the vibrator and Tracy’s hand. After a few moments and a last trickle, Kara was done squirting. Tracy leaned snuggled next to her wife, their bodies touching in multiple locations. She reached for Kara’s hands, and they intertwined fingers. Tracy and Kara gazed into each other’s eyes. All Kara saw through her post-orgasmic haze was how much Tracy loved her. A sense of relief washed over her. No longer worried that their relationship was in jeopardy, Kara felt tension leave her body. Her muscles relaxed. But as she lay there next to Tracy, Kara realized there was something else she wanted. “I was thinking, Tracy. About how you wanted to have more sex and I think,” Kara paused before straddling her wife’s waist and leaning down over her, hair falling in Tracy’s face. “I was thinking that I want to keep fucking you right now.” To here to read the full Lesbian Erotica article at the Eveies website. from http://eveies0.blogspot.com/2020/04/lesbian-erotica.html