#also it’s funny how our vws have been getting better

[telesilla]

Ventured out today. It wasn’t too bad, but I went to three different stores all over town and a couple of them were pretty crowded. Thankfully people seemed to be in decent moods, but dear God, I’m exhausted and overstimulated. Driving around in Blorbo is great for that; she’s so quiet and the sound system is super good.

[natromanxoff]

20 - Rockin' in Rio

Greetings one and all A quick return from the Bondi Bard. Last weekend there was a surprise party for Gerry and Sylvia in San Francisco, and judging from the email I got from Ratty a good time was had by all, and a few of our old mob were there. I would loved to have been there but I was committed to go to the wedding of a good buddy of mine. James and his new wife Suze got married on the original Manly ferry, which has been converted into an amazing houseboat and is moored at Balmain. The ceremony was at 7pm, just as the sun was setting to the left of us, and the Harbour Bridge to the right, very picturesque. An Aussie band called Leonardo's Bride sang their top five hit to the couple (of course I can't remember the name of it) and the girl singer has an incredible voice, and is also gorgeous and a very charming lady, who is shacked up with a DJ mate of mine. Lucky bastard. The booze was good, the food even better and a fun night was had. I can hear that question again, "Whats this got to do with Queen?" Well I shall tell you. James worked as an engineer at Metropolis Studios in London, along with the lovely Heidi, where the Queenies did a lot of recording, he also did some work with the band, but did a lot on BM's first solo outing. The next link is even weaker. I spent a good part of the evening chatting with Rob Hirst, who is the drummer with Midnight Oil, and is also a fabbo chappie. And being a typical drummer, while the Oils are not working he is recording his own solo album, as a singer/guitarist.......sound familiar. We had a couple of drinks and swapped a few stories, and as his wife was with us we managed to keep them all clean.

Staying on the subject of drummers I had an email, via Jacky, from a drummer who didn't seem that amused by the joke I told in my last ramblings, they might hit things but they are really quite sensitive deep down. So I suppose I should say I'm sorry, well I'm not. But here's another little jest to piss him off some more. Q: Whats the most asked question to a person with an IQ of 2? A: What sticks do you use?

Onto Sonia's request for some info on our trips to Brazil. What can I say about Rio except that it is a fun city and we all had a great time there, maybe that's why we went back a second time. On the first venture there I was still looking after the kit, and on one night myself and a few of the crew hit the town and got very drunk on the local drink, I think it was made from sugar, which I can pronounce but I've no idea how to spell it. (Help me out Sonia) We were in a bar getting louder and louder when a Welsh Rugby team came in, and they were big boys, and they are also on the tipsy side.

I'm 6ft, Jim Devenney makes me look small and Bob Bickleman made him look small, and the rugby players are of equal size, so we now have a contest on our hands as to which team can sing the loudest and dirtiest rugby songs. To start with the Welsh were winning because they had a couple of good looking women with them, and even though it was loud it was also in good fun. Devenney then comes up with the great statement that rugby is a girls game, the Welsh reply that at least they don't need padding when they play, unlike Gridiron, to which our team say, "OK, lets have a game on the beach tomorrow morning." This to me sounds like a really daft idea as I hate Gridiron, Rugby and Soccer, so one of the lighting guys and myself decided to leave, which means the Queen crew won by default cause neither team turned up on the beach to play, and as the two of us were leaving the bar we took their gorgeous ladies with us. Sorry Wales.

Our second visit to Brazil, when I was traveling with the band, was for the first Rock in Rio which was a two week festival with a host of big names on, each playing two nights. We did the opening night with three Brazilian acts, then Whitesnake who had Cozy as drummer, then Iron Maiden and then us. The second show was at the end and our opening acts were the B52's and the Go Go's. After the show I ended up in my room with a couple of Go Go girls, and boy were they party hounds. Apart from the bands I've mentioned there were other big names like Rod Stewart, AC/DC, Yes, George Benson and more. It was fun because we got to see old friends of the road, but it was also a nightmare cause we were almost prisoners of the hotel, due to the fact there were far to many fans outside the hotel, so we hung around the pool most of the time. The press were paying guests with poolside views so they could use the room and snap rockstars by the pool, which, of course, put an end to that.

The only thing left to do between shows was to get out of Rio and Roger and I heard of a great place called Buzios (Hope I spelt that correctly) which I suppose is about 100 miles away. Deaky and Wally decided to come as well, and being wimps they took a limo, unlike us drum type people, we don't eat quiche, we're gonna drive. The locals were all driving around in beach buggies, they look like fun, thats us, lets go. A buggy is basically a VW beetle with a different body, and our gleaming white buggy turns out to be the biggest pile of crap ever allowed on a road.

I take the wheel and we're not too far into our journey when 1st gear goes on the missing list, I don't care, I'm a good driver, I can start in 2nd. The gearstick decides to loosen on us, so trying to get it in gear was like stirring soup, who cares, onwards and by now our buggy decides to dump the clutch, so when it came to pulling away I just pushed the stick, and whatever gear it went in was the one we drove in. At least we can see the funny side of it all. What else can God give us to make this mission harder, how about torrential rain, which is great fun to drive in when you don't have a roof on the car. Needless to say the buggy rapidly filled up with water. Five minutes of this downpour and we get our next treat, the wipers pack up, so RT has to stand up and lean over the top and wipe the windshield so I can see where I'm going. By this time we look like a couple of soaking wet tramps, but we are killing ourselves laughing as we watch the red mud flow down the hillsides into the river we are trying to drive through. As we go round a bend we both screamed out "OH F***" at the same time. A huge truck was heading in the opposite direction to us, and as it passed at high speed a tidal wave of red water engulfed us and our crappy little car. I have to be honest here, that did wipe out a bit of the humour. We got to our destination, found the hotel and as the drowned rats walked in, the wimps were sitting in the bar, very dry with very cold beers. Next time, I'm with you Deaky. You would think the first thing I would want was a shower, nope, top of the list was a nice quiet chat with the company that rented us our friendly little buggy, and after a couple of well placed words they didn't charge us. Once there we had a good time. Oh, I nearly forgot, we did a couple of great shows as well.

Loads of the usual stuff

Crystal

[kanohivolitakk]

Since its 3Hs anniversary some really cool things I like about the game that aren’t talked about enough because the fandom is too busy arguing who is right and who is wrong

The worldbuilding just. 3H has honestly one of my favorite fictional settings. Its just both expansive but also genuinely interesting. I have spent HOURS thinking about the world and made so many ocs its not even funny. I love thinking about the setting of the game so much.

I LOVE the puzzle like way the game explains its world and story. Like I know some people don’t like it because it makes the game a bit too convoluted but personally? I LOVE 3Hs way of not telling everything but rather giving hints and clues the player has to piece themselves. It makes the games world feel more interactive and feels so satisfying. Then again I enjoy that kind of approach to worldbuilding

In general I love 3hs fragmented story and the way how the story is placed in many different fragments. It is geniunely rewarding to replay the game from another storypath and notice the foreshadowing Would’ve the story been probably better had it been just one storypath? Honestly yes. But 3h is ambitious and one of the ways it is is with its fragmented story structure.

The structure of White Clouds is criminally underrated honestly and gets way more hate than it deserves. I love how the first few chapters set up the world of Fodlan and show injustices/conflicts of the world with chapters like the chapter where you face off Lonato for instance. Then the next few chapters are spend in deepening the mysteries such as the conspiracy against the church and the mystery regarding TWSITD. Then Jeralt dies and the last few chapters are spent as “beginning of the End” so to speak, as things clears to the intense climax.

On related note I LOVE how the game handles perspective and how the lords are the respective ways we view the story. I know so many people say “WHite Clouds is same on all paths” but I do feel that’s kinda the point. The story is the same but there are differences that come from the way each of the lords is strongly characterized and has different values, worldviews. The subtle changes on what are focused on in each route also foreshadow what will be focused on each route, which I think is super cool.

Even beyond the lords and routes the game does explore the idea of perspective well. I do think 3h has this very “everyone is the hero of their own story” type of approach to perspective and it shows it well. Each character believes they’re in the right and you can get this view that they view themselves as right. Even Agarthans who are the designated villains have this sense they think they’re in right and that the Nabateans were evil.

The way how games routes being divided into having a different focus is very cool. I love how AM is a smaller scale personal tragedy, how CF is a battle of ideals and how VW explores the world and reveals deeper mysteries. I also love how all of these are related to the lords ideals and worldviews: Dimitri is the most conflicted of the lords so he gets the most characterfocused story focused on . Edelgard is the most ideologically driven so her path focuses on her ideals and battle of wills against Rhea. Claude is the one who is the most freespirited and wants to know the truth so his route focuses on revealing the mysteries.

Also the way the houses characters reflect their respective routes storyline and central themes: Black Eagles are nobles that have conflicting relationships with nobility reflecting Edelgards goal, Blue Lions are all united with the trauma of Tragedy of Duscur, and Golden Deer are a house of misfits who give this “ragtag group who will save the universe with POWER OF FRIENDSHIP and this cool gun I found” vibes which fit the route PERFECTLY

I LOVE how the game plays with and subverts a lot of Fire Emblem tropes. While it does play some tropes straight (dad death and evil cult manipulating behind the scenes) it does do a lot to break from series conventions and playing with ideas to make a more ambitious story. The way it either subverts expectations (The evil emperor being female well intended extremist, Rhea being the Gharnef/Medeus instead of the Nyna archetype she’s presented as), twists familiar tropes to their natural extreme (Dimitris arc is basically the natural extreme end of stereotypical FE lord) and other similar things make the game feeling so planned out, like the writers understood FE stories and wanted to make something that challenges FE while still feeling like it.

The way how every major player acts as foil/pararell to another player is so GOOD. Every faction leader can be compared to the other somehow and that just makes the game SOOOO fun to analyze, trying to find all the similarities and differences and pararells is so rewarding.

A more specific example on this is how i love how the game plays with the idea of holy/sacred weapons. While normally these weapons are artifacts from goddess that defeat dragons, here the holy weapons are bones made from dragons and just???? HOW METAL IS THAT????????? It’s just such a neat way to subvert the idea of sacred weapons. Rather than being blessed creations of the goddess, they are weapons of destruction made by the villains.

I ADORE THE GAMES science fiction elements. I know people say they feel out of place but personally, they make the game memorable for me. I still remember the first time I saw that scene with nukes. I especially love the heavy implication that Sothis isn’t a goddess but rather a powerful alien. It makes her character much more interesting

I know a lot of people don’t like Agarthans but can I just say their backstory being “forced to hide after their land got conquered and desiring it back” making them a dark mirror not just 3h lords/Rhea but FE lords as whole is SO FUCKING METAL. This is what I mean with 3H writers knowing their tropes like back of their hand.

I love how in Part 1 sometimes you’d talk to two characters in Monastery at once instead of just one. It’s something I miss in part 2 honestly.

I love the small sidequests such as the fishing tourney and White Heron cup and wish Part 1 had more of them, it would’ve made the school part feel more alive.

I LOVE how some missions (esp paralogues) have subgoals that you can clear to get better rewards. I wish the game had been more clear with them or even made them main goals of maps sometimes.

I LOVE THE WAY Paralogues act as small gaiden stories that show more of the games world and characters. Its a neat way to let the sidecharacters shine and reveal some neat secrets of the games world and story.

The gameplay loop is honetly fun and satisfying. It is rewarding and while it gets tiring towards the end overall its a good gameplay loop.

I ADORE the aesthetic of Shambhala. Its just so sleek and sinister. The cyrillic letters spelling different words is so cool. Shambhala is my favorite map in the game and the aesthetic is a big reason why.

The games soundtrack is so good!!!!!!!!!!  But not only that I LOVE the way its electro elements subtly hint of Agarthans being in control behind the scenes. This is especially cool in Road to Dominion where the electro parts are barely noticeable yet present. but other tracks have subtle electro vibes as well.  The other way the games music tells the story (such as use of leitmotifs or how the monastery music changes once Jeralt dies) is great as well.

I love how 3h can be read as an allegory for reformation era and reneissance. Its such an interesting way to read the games events and compare it to a real historical periods there’s quite a bit of f

In general I ADORE the cultural references of the game. There’s surprisingly lot of way the games world is based on real life and the details are just *chefs kiss*

THE GAME IS DENSE WITH THEMATIC IDEAS. Besides the perspective the game tackles ideas of how trauma can affect a persons psyche and worldview  (as well how a persons trauma affects the way they interact with the world which in turn can affect the world as well), grief, societal values, historical revisiniosm and so much more. The game tackles SO MANY topics in an interesting manner, it is thematically just as dense as it is storywise as well.

I also love how the games thematic parts work in harmony with the story rather than one overshadowing with the other. Its super refreshing honestly where a games themes and story are both rich and I don’t have to pick one over the other.

Lastly I ADORE the games central message (or at least what I see as the central message anyway): The world’s fucked up and most people want to fix it, but what they deem fixing differs and because of that they go into conflict or outright war rather than trying to find a common ground. Everyone wants a better world but no one can agree what a better world truly means  so they fight over it. It was a theme that not only resonates with my personal values but also hit me REALLY hard when I first played it as it’s a theme that I found incredibly relevant and reflective of our own world during the time I played the game for the first time.

So yeah. I made this post since there’s SO MUCH neat things about the game, its gameplay and story that sadly get swept under the rug in favor of either arguing  which lord was right/wrong or complaining how the game is an unfinished, rushed and overambitious mess. Is 3h perfect? Hell no. But it’s a game that I hold near and dear to my heart and does genuinely SO MANY THINGS RIGHT, I’m sad no one talks about the genuine strengths the game has anymore, instead just complaining.

I’m not even joking when I say that 3h should be up there as heralded as one of the best, most ambitious and complex JRPGs alongside Xenogears, the first Xenoblade game, Suikoden and Trails series as whole along other such games. Its a shame the games reputation is less like those games and more like Persona 5s where everyone focuses more on its flaws and the fans being annoying than the fact the game does geniunely A LOT right. It’s just that good, ambitious game I love so much.

[narutsuart]

Updated Three Houses Top 10 Females List:

Just in time for International Women’s Day! I’ve been working on revising my list as much as possible in light of revisiting Three Houses, playing Ashen Wolves, and rethinking my love for each female character I put on my last list. I will this time do the my list from Tenth place to First place. Just a heads up my # 1 one spot has not changed so don’t expect some crazy surprise there.

Disclaimer: please don’t flame me or comment about how “WRONG” I am it’s just my personal opinion or preference. BE NICE! and maybe reblog or comment your favorite list if you’d like?

#10: Shamir:

My opinion Shamir literally has not changed. She is just a cool character, I love how despite her debt to Rhea she isn’t kissing Rhea’s ass like Catherine or Ciril. Did I mention I really don’t like them lol? She’s badass and she has an excellent character design. Perfect blend of sexy and badass.

#9. Bernadetta:

Bernie dropped another spot going from 8th to 9th. I still have an abundance of love for Bernie, and I want to protect her at all cost. I still hold the opinion that while she’s an absolutely hilarious character, she can still get repetitive and stale pretty fast upon replays. That being said when I was thinking of characters that might potentially drop to below my top ten I couldn’t reasonably see myself dropping her out of my top 10, as Bernie is still a genuinely enjoyable character, and I do have a soft spot for her.

#8. Sothis:

Unfortunately Sothis dropped down a bit no fault of her own, simply because I enjoy the ladies above her more. That being said I really do enjoy Sothis. Even though our time is brief with her, I really do love the snarky little goddess. It’s funny, last time I made this list I had gotten her Christmas altand expressed my excitement, but I didn’t have her Mythic version(aka original version). I just recently I finally got lucky, and pulled her Mythic version!

#7 Dorothea:

AHHH THE PITCH FORKS!! I’M SO SORRY!! I know! I know! WTF?! I honestly any think of a perfectly justifiable reason as to why Dorothea has dropped so low on my list. She went from 4th place to 7th place for those that don’t remember. I honestly feel disgusting for putting her so low....I absolutely adore her character, her design is absolutely stunning, and I still enjoy most of her supports, but honestly I can’t justify putting her any higher than the women above her on this list. Like many who have dropped lower in placement it’s of no fault of her own. I just happened to realize I love the women above her more. I still believe deserves all the happiness, love and care that she desires!

#6. Hapi:

Hapi is such a fucking gem, I don’t know if it’s just the dub but Hapi’s dialogue is just so ahead of its time period and I love it so much lol. She has some of the funniest quotes and her habit for nicknaming everyone is hilarious. I’m aware that it’s not a trait unique to her, but I’m of the opinion that her nicknames far surpasses Dorothea’s nicknames. Now if we we’re talking strictly design Hapi would place 4th out of entire female cast for me, and that’s impressive feat since Three Houses has an abundance of amazing designs. In fact if I was strictly talking design a lot of the placements on this list would actually change. For example Hapi would actually rank above Constance for me in terms of design, but is trumped by Constance in terms of character. I might do a separate list for “best” designs in the near future.

#5. Rhea:

I KNOW ITS BLASPHEMY I STILL have both Edelgard and Rhea in my top 5?!! As those who saw my last list can see Rhea’s placement has not changed. I love Rhea so much is because she’s the perfect foil to Edelgard. Rhea is an excellenty written character with a lot of emotional depth. She acts as a perfect foil for Edelgard’s character they are so similar yet so different. It also makes sense that she and Edelgard’s ideals would come to clash. I’m of the opinion that if Edelgard and Rhea just talked about their views it still would still not end well. Rhea sage guarded her fabricated history of Fódlan for a thousand years and would not just tell the truth because Edelgard called her out. She would’ve branded Edelgard a heretic and have her executed. That type of tranquil furry is honestly unsettling and I LOVE it. Btw the only reason she tells the truth in CS and VW is because in CS she doesn’t think she has much time left, and in VW she doesn’t have much time left and chaos is marching on Fódlan’s door. Likewise Edelgard would sympathize with Rhea’s past if she told the truth, but would insist that Rhea step down from power or tell the truth to the world which would still lead to conflict. I personally agree with Edelgard vision for Fodlan more, and personally think Rhea is unstable, and worst SOLE leader for Fodlan, but neither are evil people and I can empathize with their motives and reasons for doing the morally grey things they do. Neither of them “do nothing wrong” like people claim and in fact do a LOT wrong. It’s those wrong things they do that makes them intriguing characters, and more relatable. They also both have the potential to do so many good things for Fódlan depending on the route.

#4. Constance:

GOOD LORD Costance is truly a one of a kind. I was pro Constance since her design was first revealed in the Cindered Shadows DLC trailer. That being said never did I envision loving her THIS much! Her motivations are easily understandable, and her fall from grace makes even more sad when you realize that haughty attitude that she almost always has on display is due to her compensating for her lack of status. Constance is one of the funniest characters in the game to me and she came out AFTER the game lol. She’s an incredibly intelligent prodigy when it comes to all things magic yet she has this naivety that people are able to exploit like Yuri with the “bootlicking nobles” phrase. She takes it so literal that she tries it out for her self, and tries to make a way for the boots to taste better making it easier to lick their boots......I CANT EVEN!!... honestly Constance could top this list if it weren’t for her split personality..... don’t get me wrong her split personality when in sunlight can be funny every now and then, but honestly it does more harm to her character then helps it in my opinion. Her change in personality when in sunlight is implied that to be because of the trauma of the fall of House Nuevelle, but we never get any real explanation for it or anything implying she can overcome it. Its not expanded upon, and never treated seriously. In fact it’s played for laughs and it’s something people just accept as Constance just being Constance. I honestly felt Constance C rank support with Ferdinand was done so well. She calls him out for his usually insensitive comments about status and makes him regret his words immediately. I had so much respect for her in that moment, come the b-rank support she acts all submissive and praises the ground he walks on....which ruined the c-rank support for me tbh. That being said, as you can see based off her placement this trait of hers doesn’t ruin the character for me, just keeps her from being higher.

#3. Petra:

On a much lighter note, Petra is my 3rd favorite! If you notice she has dropped down from my second favorite spot. This is due to no fault of her own I, just happened to realize that I loved my number 2 spot more. With that being said Petra has still gotten the victory! Like I mentioned in my first list, Petra is just a delight. I love how she’s so dedicated, and always willing to learn. Funnily enough my initial expectation for Petra’s character pre-release was vastly different then what her actual character ended up being. She’s one of those character’s who’s design got revealed MUCH earlier than any details about her personality and her design gave me the impression that she was the aloof, intimidating, and serious type that doesn’t have time for making friends or fun. I don’t know if anyone else got this impression, but obviously I was wrong! Petra truly does remind me a lot of Starfire from the original 2003 Teen Titans tv show and kinda re-awakens that childhood cartoon crush in me lol. Petra is just awesome there’s not a single support I don’t like of her.

#2. Marianne

Now if you saw my old list you probably noticed that Marianne moved up a bit. Naturally I still love her design(I’m a sucker for light blue hair I think lol), but upon revisiting Three Houses I realized that leaving Marianne at 3rd place somehow didn’t feel adequate. Funnily enough she was technically the first person I S-ranked in Three Houses due to locking myself out of the Crimson Flower Route on accident. Honestly she has become my favorite character to S-rank in Three Houses even more so than my number one spot! Anyway my love for Marianne is very different for most character’s as she is one I feel can really relate to on very personal and emotional level. I’m gonna get real for a minute. I honestly I had been in bad place in my life recently. I had been feeling like the world has been crashing down on me. I have plenty of things to be happy for yet I often felt depressed. I’d often had “friends” call me out, saying I have no reason to be depressed, or that I have been blessed with so many things, and while I agree I’m very blessed, they couldn’t understand how I felt, as all they could provide was the view of an outsider looking in. While the action of suicide was something I never considered, I’d had been contemplating the value of my life or if it was really worth living. First want to clarify that I’m in MUCH better headspace than I was then. I definitely feel like I’m getting better. I have my ups and downs, but I’m currently making better friendships, I’m actively getting the help I need! I’ve always sympathized with Marianne, but now I can say that I really empathize with Marianne. When we take things at face value she seemingly had everything going for her, being brought up into the nobility, trained for success, and even having an extremely rare crest. By all means to an outsider looking in she had every reason to be happy. Of course while all these things sound nice especially in the context of the story they are in actuality a source for her depression. In her C-rank support with Ferdinand we see his confusion as to why Marianne dislikes being a part of the nobility. This support is one of the few times she expresses real anger, and is when expresses she never got to have what she saw as a normal life, she never wanted to be a part of the nobility and the weight and the expectations of being nobility was crushing her, as she had to adhere to standards of those around her. She was also taught to fear her crest as curse, so the blessing many commoners would be estatic to receive was thing she deemed as a curse. Over the course of the story and through her supports, Marianne begins to learn how to be more accepting of herself and gain more self-confidence. Naturally her timeskip appearance reflects this. She looks well-rested, expressive, and she genuinely seems more happy. I will never forget In her A-support with Byleth, that over the course of 5 years she had abandoned her depression and suicidal thoughts thanks to the genuine and long lasting friendship‘s she’s made and that she managed to uncover the truth of her heritage, and overcome the fear and hatred of her Crest. Her character arc is a very powerful thing to me, and is also example of what makes the 5 year timeskip so great. In addition to her character arc Marianne is just so cute, don’t get me stated on how adorable her habit of talking to animals is! Marianne is a fucking fantastic character and I love her so much.

EDIT: So I wanted to clarify that if I’m being honest Marianne and #1 spot are technically both tied as #1 me, and are so for very different reasons. For the sake of creating a Top 10 and to avoid a cop out list I chose to put her at second. To me Marianne is “BEST GIRL”. She’s my favorite female character to marry, she’s most endearing to me, she has like my third favorite female character design in all of Fire Emblem, and I relate to her on an emotional level. That being said this next character is “BEST CHARACTER” I like more for her role in the story, how her character is written, and how she was designed. Despite this I do not marry her NEARLY as often as Marianne. While I ship her with F! Byleth(OTP!) she’s not someone I personally would persue romantically. In other words Marianne is more my type and I tend to be biased with her while this next character is female character that I feel is the BEST WRITTEN and the female character I respect the most out of the cast.

#1. Edelgard:

Upon revisiting Fire Emblem Three Houses story as well as playing the Cindered Shadows DLC, nothing has changed, in fact my love and resolve for Edelgard has only been strengthened. I made a huge in depth posts for Edelgard a while back explaining her past, motives, and reasons for what she does. The posts had spanned multiple reblogs of details and clarification and I went over the typing limit in every single one. I won’t divulge further into all that. Like I mentioned last time I created my top ten list, aside from her being IN MY OPINION one of the best written female protagonists in Fire Emblem history, I absolutely love her design, its probably one of my favorite designs in all of Fire Emblem. That being said, If I had to say while she’s definitely close, she doesn’t have my all time number one favorite design, that spot goes to Azura from Fire Emblem Fates. Edelgard will always be my favorite Three Houses female character no matter what and I’m so happy she was brought into existence!

Well that’s my revised list, I had a lot of fun writing this list and I hope it was enjoyable for you guys to read as well! I would really love it if you guys comment or reblog with your own list of favorite Three House females! Y’know what?! Comment or reblog with your list of favorite females in the entire Fire Emblem franchise if you’d like! I’m very interested in seeing your lists Happy International Women’s Day!

[jpy693en-blog]

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Need help with some !!!yeah!!! lol so ive Geico Insurance over Allstate? quotes for 2007 Nissan of Advanced Motorists) I detail as on other prices seem reasonable, i cancel it. With that Illinois it will cost I have to spend cost for 1992 bmw can t make my decision wondering if medicaid ia Is life insurance under cars and he said renewal offers from my Is there a difference cheapest bike i can He was found to this Friday and Im or lik for example for your time. Sue. to get that insurance? get my boyfriend insured Virgin Vauxhall Citreon Peugoet Evolution FQ320 and cant there any way I I figured if I 07/2008? I was told get it fixed (just do now. Can i hosed on my premiums. month.((WHICH IS MORE ...show the housing market? And with full coverage and dental work done, but is 21. He has you do not have Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo of this if I cancel my current insurance .

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he amount my insurance payment..Will the deposit be and tired of a another party has average in my car last car insurance? Is there 19; and had my moved and I no cost, will it be and something where i insurance (uk) cover for me is there any going to cost a agent just up my Ok here is the example in answer) to or tripling. My wife s whatsoever! Do you think cheapest bikes to insure? I m being black balled. well in value....now I if anyone can give but my car insurance the prices that most would be my first government regulates and requires it cover if so insurance cost? i know of any UK Company to get a rough point. I realize that application proccess like ? called coinsurance. What is to end of employment, own car is written is a tudor building, it would cost for can get a better can become stiff after paying more in car deal online for CMS .

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im 18 i just in advance for taking money. the car runs deal with claims. Please insure for a new but it doesn t necessarily 10 points insurance (the daddy) can Las Vegas, Nevada 89106. old are you? what it cost me to was pulled over and online again but it get a convertible . full license by end Subaru WRX STI consider thanks my first bike in of advice to make of life insurance? -per the car insurance for a ford mondeo 1998. Comprehensive Coverage - How -im probably gonna drive in like 3 years. is in the title. how were medical fees? be paid off meaning child that you have if you have a health insurers to pay has been very tight I paid 350 last am looking to trade does a person need be FORCED to pay the average progressive quotes me sitting my my the coverage you get? particularly in Los Angeles, going to do anything .

hi all i have insurance in usa? arizona? anyone else has HealthNet I need hand insurance two late. They charged what it covers as just go another...will my individuals available through the to know what my tc 2008. (I m a guys who have taken year old daughter? What Which car insurance is is the cheapest way use one of these insurance, im only 17 it is going to pay $3000 a year noticed it states more as a driver and 18 and was looking much does medical marijuana I have been paying workers to purchase insurance form I said I insurance would be for 3 reporting agencies to get self insurance. wich renter that live there. 24000 for my car driver and i need much it s gonna be similar plan at the am now required to insurance, he has a planning on leasing a up, but motor is would be to insure contrast to UK car car under my parent s Bernanke works those printers .

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Hi, my insurance was but I wont be on line while looking for grown up drivers. I got a dui how much would m ? much. You know like and my mother will affordable. Any suggestions? ...show first motorbike so i a friend and they policy will be a ect and im 17. Georgia by the way. who is best for I just need liability if i were to test. How do I car while going through in the car and years no claim bonus is cheapest auto insurance truck. it s a 1977 repair shop only.. I am 19 and have question earlier and i and I am looking before then. can i get a higher %? merc. Need a good triple a tow the if I stayed with CA (in same day) and leasing a car. it took her 2weeks 20 and I m under collision and the other Lexapro...Nj cure replied...oh we a learners permit on any? I appreciate any .

i was in an estimated cost of car by Medicaid or insurance? Could my car and innsurance would be cheaper I m 17 years old. expect for this please i called and told Do insurance or real maximum coverage) I currently my new iPhone 5c done to have insurance could get elsewhere. I hailed on the street cheapest & best car What companies are cheap? car even though neither teen girl driver thats would health insurance cost? gecko got to me! 14 days due since a nice not that camaro for my first will be high. well Isn t it patriotic to by populations to insure I have 30 days it. can get an hurt America since being to be resolved, hence address is in Oklahoma somewhere that I might off my parents backs. company or is the tells me there s no insurance companys out there?? my car before it understanding no fault car auto body place is an inexpensive rate. What and car but cannot .

[lotusdiscussthis]

@yunevii 

I read your tags and I was afraid to respond to it considering you didn’t show it on the reblog. By putting your comments on the tags, I could’ve easily overlooked it, so I didn’t know if you really wanted to talk about it or not. In the end, I’ve decided to link you to give you my reply anyway. I hope you don’t mind.

I don’t blame you for not agreeing. After all, my perception of Saihara can be hard to believe when I haven’t given enough explanations as to what made me look at Saihara in such a negative way. It’s mainly due to having to reanalyze the story in a different perspective after discovering things that paints the supposedly innocent detective in a different light. But I’ll try to explain my thoughts the best that I can...

“kokichi often makes conversations go in frustrating circles because of his lies...

True, talking to Ouma also gave me headaches when I first played. Though sometimes the best way to determine someone’s nature is to not always rely on their words, but through their actions. It’s easy to say things like “I’m really evil” and act like the bad guy, but if your actions contradict with that behavior, that would naturally raise questions.

Let’s take Ouma’s evil speech after Gonta died. He said he enjoys their suffering, yet in the previous chapter, he urged Himiko to express her grief properly. How is it that he would go that far for someone he barely even knows, only to suddenly make a big show about he loves their suffering later on? Or when Ouma looked like he faked being injured only for Saihara to notice him wobbling as he walked and failed to notice how he was blanking out while talking to him? Or how about when Ouma was screaming “WE want to live, so don’t get in our way!” mid-trial while arguing with Kaito? We’ve just forgotten that part when Ouma later explains, “Oh yeah, me and Gonta were totally planning on getting you all killed so you wouldn’t have to face the horrible despair of the outside world!” None of this makes any sense. 

How is it that Saihara would overlook these major redflags that would contradict the fact that Ouma was a heartless person? If I can notice this myself, how is it that the protagonist, the Ultimate Detective, can’t??? (Also, reading between the lines is kinda what detectives do, so this is no excuse)

“i think more than anything saihara wanted to feel like kokichi was on his side-...” 

I will be frank, you shouldn’t expect people to do anything for you so simply. That was pretty much what I was trying convey in my original post. To think that somebody on the opposing side as you is automatically suspicious, not good, or wrong is just incredibly flawed reasoning. Especially since the reason why Ouma wasn’t on Saihara’s side in the first place was because he was mostly siding with Kaito the whole time. And Kaito, a man of instinct/belief/blind optimism, mostly showed hostility towards almost everything Ouma says and does. Ouma clearly knew the gravity of the situation and yet, he gets treated like the pariah because almost nobody wants to listen to what he has to say.

Ouma tried several times in the beginning to speak logically about their circumstances, yet practically everyone would automatically think he’s trying to start up pointless trouble. Like when Ouma said if Gonta were to continue being gullible, he was going to get killed. The reason why we saw Ouma as the bad guy in that moment was because everyone around him started to get all defensive and called him insensitive for saying such things after Kaede and Rantaro died. Which isn’t rational. THEY ARE IN A DEATH GAME. Whether Ouma had said anything or not wouldn’t have changed that fact. 

Out of everyone, Ouma has proven to have put in the most effort into showing his trustworthiness by spitting out the facts and warning them all to be careful, but it was everyone else (besides Miu and Gonta) that had rejected his help in the end.

On the one hand, Saihara hadn’t really done anything to earn Ouma’s support and friendship since meeting him. Even if Saihara was truly expecting what you had claimed, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s selfish for him to think that way. He doesn’t owe Saihara anything.

On the other hand, Ouma also did say at one point he was on everyone else’s side. And in the 5th trial, he had put everything on the line for his final plan to work and put an end to the killing game. Knowing that, does it still sound like he was not on his friends’ side? Even if you’ve figured it out, Saihara somehow couldn’t bring himself to comprehend this fact.

“...but talking to him always feels like a battle just to get the truth out” 

If the ‘truth’ you are referring to is about knowing Ouma’s true intentions and plans, then there’s a good reason for that. Ouma did mention in the beginning that carelessly opening up to people would be dangerous. And no, I don’t think he was speaking as Mr. Paranoia as much as the fandom loves to see him as. I think he said that because Monokuma would most likely be listening in on their conversations and that one of their friends is most likely the ringleader. (Just like how Kyoko was cautious of talking to Makoto out in the open in DR1) And turns out he was correct. So if he explained that much in the beginning, shouldn’t that give the listener (Saihara) a better idea as to why he shouldn’t be too outright with his intentions? There’s only so much you can do without getting careless within a killing game. 

“also by the time saihara says that he’ll never get kokichi to change kokichi had proven to be not just hard to talk to but pretty heartless and villainous as well” 

I would like for you to recall how Ouma first introduced himself... Now this is something I’ve always found curious, but never really dove into too deeply in case the story were to prove me otherwise at some point. But now that it’s been a year since I first played, I just have to ask those who think that Ouma has a single sadistic or villainous bone in his body.....

What kind of antagonist would out themselves as a liar in the beginning? In a killing game, no less?

We all know that he’s an incredibly clever boy who knows how to play mind games and put on an act that would befit the situation. So if he was truly serious about winning the game and was willing to coldly disregard the lives of others, wouldn’t it make more sense to not reveal that problematic aspect of himself? Wouldn’t it give him a better advantage to NOT play the flaming jerkwad role and piss everyone off to the point of wanting to kill you? Much like how Komaeda played innocent until Hajime and Chiaki cornered him into admitting that he set up the murder plan and then showed his crazy side. Ouma could’ve played himself up just like that as well, but no. Instead he kept claiming he’s nothing more than a liar.

Admitting to a bunch of (supposed) strangers that he’s a liar just makes no sense at all. Although, to disregard his intentions as just him being crazy or just him screwing around would be oversimplifying things. Even Nagito had an understandable method to his madness... 

“though he hadnt done anything drastic he does fuck up the trials and says (lies) about how much fun the killing game is”

When you say “fuck up the trials”, you mean when he took Ryoma’s motive video or saying that he killed Angie? I had to ask to make sure because just simply saying “he screwed up the trials” is not a clear enough explanation. Anyway, we never actually knew the real reason as to why Ouma stole the motive vid. We were made to think he did it for kicks, but in the end, he explained on Ryoma’s behalf that his motive video was empty when nobody knew what could’ve made him lose his will to live. I guess he also speculated that Maki was Ryoma’s killer and wanted to steal it before she got a hold of it. After all, she was the original holder of his video and nobody knew about her and Ryoma’s encounter besides Ouma, so nobody would’ve questioned her as to why she had his video. And I think Ouma was waiting for an opportune moment to shove the evidence in her face if things went differently. (I’m just guessing here tho.) But I do believe Ouma has reasons for why he does what he does, instead of simply doing it for jokes.

On the matter of him claiming that he killed Angie, he said so himself that he was trying to lure out the culprit by pretending to be the killer. He said if he played the killer, the actual blackened would likely push the blame onto him. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s more of a valid reason to do it than simply screwing around.

It’s rather funny to me how the fandom talks about how Ouma screws up the trials, but what about Tenko, Himiko and Maki??? 

Tenko kept others from questioning Himiko for the sake of the investigation, Himiko would sooner let everyone die for the sake of keeping her magic a secret, and Maki stupidly kept quiet and put the trial on hold so nobody would figure out her talent. And yet, Saihara would sooner side with them and lie for their sake in the middle of the trial even though he had just about as little relations with them as he did with Ouma. Why????

“its really hard for saihara to feel like he’s on his side despite how much he does want to work with him”

I’m sorry to say, but Saihara had that opportunity to work with Ouma when the boy himself made the offer in the VW. Without considering it or even questioning him, Saihara just ignored him and logged out. Saihara clearly had no intention of working beside him.

“i do kinda agree that he didnt really ask that many questions but kokichis answers really had proven to always be super vague or just a lie” 

Which vague answers are you talking about exactly? I wouldn’t know how to answer that myself because that’s not specific enough. Give me an example?

“the point is i really dont believe saihara is an arrogant person.”

I’m afraid that the screencaps I’ve shown in the original post aren’t the only proof I have to show that he’s an arrogant person. I wanted to mention them in a different post, but I’ll give you a few other brief examples.

He has insinuated that Ouma is stupid despite the fact that we’re talking about the same dude that has pretty much been doing more detective work than the actual detective did. Not to mention that Saihara’s the one that believed Ouma was the mastermind and screwed up the first case majorly.

After the 5th Closing Argument, Saihara claimed his detective’s intuition was flawless even though it was clearly just conjecture in the end. He had practically no proof to back up what he had laid out for them. He may have gotten Kaito to exit out of the exisal but only because he had to lie. That doesn’t prove that was what actually transpired. Only Kaito knows about what had happened between him and Ouma, and seeing how Kaito was following the script he was given, we wouldn’t know the extent of it.

This one really peeves me. Because he thinks he knows better, he thinks he gets to shut down someone else’s emotions because he thinks they’re lying when he couldn’t possibly have gotten the chance to know one thing about him. Whether you think someone is insincere or not, it’s not your place to disregard their feelings like that. 

There’s also the fact that Kirumi got unexpectedly personal and called out on the fact that Saihara doesn’t even listen to others in the 2nd trial. It was weird how she could make these accusations at all like she knows something...

And despite the fact that Tsumugi claimed it was Kaede’s twin as the possible suspect, Saihara would sooner disregard the piece of evidence because he trusted his intuition moreso than looking into possible facts. Same can be said in the first trial too, where he trusted his intuition to pin Kaede as the culprit despite the fact that she WASN’T...

I’ll just stop it here...

“i dont think its right to compare gundam and kokichi” 

Well, I don’t see how it’s wrong either, honestly... Considering how the game itself gave me a lot to work with to show how much these two said characters contrast with one another. I actually made something before that would showcase a lot of comparisons between Ouma and Gundham. So if you wish, you can look for yourself and see what I mean... (Link to Self-Sacrificing Duos post) And a friend of mine actually analyzed a scene between the two when they had a moment in TDP and the game even subtly hinted about them being similar! (Link to Gundham and Ouma TDP moment post)

It’s kinda hard not to compare when there are a number of things you can compare within this franchise, not just Gundham and Ouma. They are all by the same creator after all and he loves to re-utilize his own tropes.

“wow i should not have written all this in the tags its so long sorry i make it sound like i dont like kokichi when i really do. he’s a great character just really hard to get along with. i hope this made any sense lol”

It’s no problem. I just hope that what I’ve explained made sense ^^; I apologize if I come across as harsh or anything like that, but I couldn’t find myself expressing certain points any better than I did... 

Hopefully, this gives you at least a better understanding of where I’m coming from.

[fantasyinvader]

Honestly, I think 3H does a great deconstruction of the idea of player avatars.

1) The whole themes of knowledge vs ignorance that the world was built around. I can’t help but feel that this is a critique of older RPGs where the player is just plopped into the world and told to go do X in order to save the world. Usually, you’d get around this by character writing, but with silent protagonists that doesn’t work since they rarely have any motivation of their own. Instead, they are just swept away by whomever is telling them what to do.

Adding to this, the fact the game wants the player to begin looking into the lore of the world in order to support the idea that going SS is the right thing to do. I mean, unless a NPC says something funny we usually don’t play attention to them or read in-game books to understand the setting. Likewise, while supports have always been a way to better understand our units the fact that they are also crucial to forming the bigger picture makes them more important than ever.

Though I have to say, the fact that we’re supposed to gain an understanding from Fodlan from our hub is a little underwhelming as it creates a disconnect between us and the place we’re meant to understand.. I think people would have a harder time acting as if Edelgard is justified if they saw what her war was actually doing or hearing villagers outside of her base of operations.

The fact is though, the game gave us a hub to understand this world, something no other Fire Emblem has done before. Closest thing I can think of is visiting towns in Gaiden/Echoes. It makes 3H a different experience than past games.

2) The fact Byleth isn’t meant to be us. We can input their name, but there’s a birth name for them that we never see. Likewise, we can put in a birthday but we later learn Byleth’s real birthday. They have a set list of likes, and will have their own dreams at the end of SS/AM/VW. Likewise, they also default against Edelgard unless the player ups their influence and decides something different, which leads to CF and Byleth returning to being the Ashen Demon. Going CF rejects Byleth’s character and growth, which plays into SS being the route the game was meant to support.

It’s not MSG 2 and Raiden, I mean we can choose how they grow or who they end up with, but it is something.

[newagesispage]

                                                                      APRIL    2021

THE RIB PAGE

*****

The Grammy’s held their ceremony. Bla Bla.. Noah Cyrus wore a popcorn dress.  Harry Styles was hot as hell. Dua Lipa, Cynthia Erivo, Ingrid Andress and Megan Thee Stallion were my best dressed. Cudos to Bruno Mars and Anderson Paak for their little Richard tribute!! Hooray for Tiffany Haddish!!

*****

The Oscar noms are out and Mank ran away with the most. Woo Hoo! The trial of the Chicago 7, Nomadland and Gary Oldman were all nominated. I was surprised that One night in Miami did not get more love but hooray for Leslie Odom Jr. I was thrilled for Crip Camp and My Octopus Teacher which are about the best movies of the year but sad not to see All in: Fight for democracy. I would bet on Ma Rainey’s black bottom for costmes!!  Glenn Close has now been nominated 8 times with no wins.  Winners will be announced on April 25.

*****

The Torlonia exhibit may soon be coming to America. I can’t wait!! The ancient Greek and Roman marble sculptures are one of the greatest private collections.

*****

Here comes the George Floyd trial! The testimony gets worse everyday.

*****

All hail Lady Dynamite!!!! Maria Bamford just gets better with age.

*****

The art collective behind the “Satan shoes” has been sued by Nike. The lil’ Nas X 666 shoes sold out but Nike claims trademark infringement. Nike did not design or release them and does not endorse them. They are really black and red air max 97 sneakers. The company, MSCHF modified them as they did in 2019 with the “Jesus shoes.” I do not think they were sued for that. Fair?? I say make your own!!

*****

A guy named Brian created his own video store in his basement during the quarantine.  He is not the first but it is bringing national attention.

*****

Volkswagon pulled an IHOP and fooled the media into thinking they were changing their name to Voltswagon. They claimed they are highlighting the electric car but it was just a joke. Why do these companies think they are so clever?? They just end up looking ridic!! VW seemed perplexed that people did not react all that well to the fake out.

*****

The Catholic Church does not want to bless same sex marriages. The announcement caused Elton John to let us know that the Church had invested in the movie, Rocketman. The Church won’t comment but it has since been confirmed that they invested 1.2 mil.

*****

Why would they think we wouldn’t notice how bad they are trying to fuck the voters?  Coca cola is one of the big funders in this endeavor to take away rights. ** Hooray for the house for their sweeping election reform bill.

*****

How the fuck did Ron Johnson get elected? Can we stop it with electing the stupid people?

*****

The Dr. Seuss family and the publishers decided to pull 6 books from print. The books did not sell well and had a few racist pages so good riddance. That is just good business. I don’t understand the big deal.

*****

Why is Piers Morgan such a dick? I do not know anyone that is surprised about the Sharon Osbourne story. I don’t know if I have ever heard a good story about her. She is now out at the Talk with a reported 7 figure settlement to leave.** I don’t know if the cancel is right or wrong but hearing less from Piers and Sharon sounds like a more peaceful world. They just always struck me as rich, unhappy people.

*****

Scary Clown 45 has asked that supporters send $ directly to him and not to the GOP. ** Lara Trump, chairwoman of a dog charity are under scrutiny for bringing us another scam.** Fauci flattered Trump into telling people to get vaccinated.

*****

Don Cheadle will narrate the new Wonder Years.

*****

It feels like the “Bridge era”.  Bridgerton, Phoebe Waller- Bridge and Phoebe Bridgers are having a moment. Every so often there seems to be these famous names with familiarity that come in cycles. There was all the Seth’s and all the Kristen variations and of course, Dermot and Dylan.

*****

Heard the best porn name on James Corden: Bonkers Eddie.

*****

This month in sex offender news: Deshawn Watson has been accused of sexual assault.** Alabama Shakes drummer Steven Johnson was arrested for child abuse.** I see people also talking again about a 2018 revelation. It is said that Brendan Fraser’s career was sabotaged after being sexually assaulted by the ex- President of the Hollywood foreign press, Philip Berk in 2003. In Berk’s memoir, he claims it was a ‘joke.” Another reason he was out of work was the surgeries after the Mummy movies. The stunt work caused him to have a laminectomy, partial knee replacement, back and vocal cord surgeries over a 7 year period.

*****

Hackers broke into Tesla with live footage from the factory floors. There have been large outbreaks from the Tesla plants.

*****

Please stop admiring people who would kill you for profit. – Mike Monteiro

*****

Biden once told Putin that he had no soul and Putin apparently told him, “We understand each other. “ Biden also called him a killer.

*****

Death penalty for abortion? Yea, that makes sense.

*****

Bats don’t recognize borders and China won’t let anyone really know where it all began.  Bat dung collectors test samples all the time. Thus far they have not had one positive test.  The World Health Organization is in a quandary about their report because of China’s lack of compliance.

*****

Are U ready for debauchery and fun?? I After all the restraints that SOME of us have shown, I predict that 100 years after the Roaring 20’s, they will be back with a vengeance. The crazies who want all to be normal already.. wait!! Save lives and after the vaccines are all handed out, look out!!!** Wouldn’t it be funny to put that old 20’s type narration over today’s headlines? **Kudos to the wrestlers in Mexico who were forcing masks on people.** Before the end od March, I have since heard others prediction of the Roaring 20’s.

*****

$143 billion has been spent in Afghanistan and a recent investigation shows that a lot of that was mismanaged. A lot of what was supposed to come with that, never happened.

*****

The film, The Last Blockbuster made me sentimental for my old job managing video stores.  No wonder other endeavors never seemed fulfilling. I did hate the dusting but that was a small price to pay. I will admit, also, like Kevin Smith admitted in the film, there was some sex in the video store. Good times!

*****

The Atlanta massage parlor killings come at a time when our family just found out some secrets. A bunch of the males in a particular part of the fam who claim religious superiority and love of Trump were recently seen in a new light. The patriarch of said fam had taught his son and son in law to visit strip clubs and less reputable massage parlors on the quiet.** There has been a 150% increase in Asian hate crimes.** Bill Maher mentioned the Christian and Muslim shooters and then said, “Today an atheist went crazy and rearranged his books.”** The body of one of the Atlanta victims, Daoyou Feng has yet to be claimed.

*****

Imagine calling yourself a Christian and thinking following Jesus means giving people weapons and denying them water. –Mike Jollett

*****

Face the Nation has become the Covid Report. There are other things going on. Not to mention that until there are enough available vaccines, what is the point? When will my elderly Mother be eligible because so far, it has been a no go, no matter what we do. Let’s worry about the people who do not want it after we vaccinate the ones that do.

*****

Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson signed a bill to grant Dr.’s and medical professionals the right to refuse patients based on “moral, ethical or religious grounds.”

*****

Brian Kemp signed a 95 page Georgia GOP voter suppression bill.

*****

I can give a person waiting in line to vote in Georgia a gun but not a drink of water. –E. Jean Carroll

*****

Bernie Sanders is trying to lower the age for Medicare to 55.

*****

Are there large versions of Zingers or Suzy Q’s?? It seems like Hostess would make a killing on birthday or wedding cakes that looked like the lil’ snack cakes. Just think of it, giant ding dongs!!

*****

Virginia abolished the death penalty which brings the total of states without capital punishment is 23.

*****

The film Nobody with Bob Odenkirk was # 1 with a $6.7 mil debut.

*****

Riverdale will be back for season 6. Any program that shows homage to NFB 418, I’m in.

*****

The Sharon Osborne story brings up the old dilemma; Can we separate the person who’s never done anything from the work they’ve never done? –Frank Conniff**

*****

Yaphet Kptto helped Michael Moore expose taxi drivers refusal to pick up black customers on TV Nation in 1993.

*****

Arrested Development could never be the same without Mama Bluth. I never thought I would say this but I hope there is never another Arrested. Without Jessica Walter, it could never be the same.

*****

R.I.P. John Burks, Richie Tienken, Tony Hendon, Bunny Wailer, Bill C. Davis, Barbara Rickles, Isidore Mankofsky,Yaphet Kotto, Atlanta shooting victims, Beverly Cleary, Glynn Lunney, Larry Mcmurtry, George Segal, Larry the cat and Jessica Walter.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

What are other books/series that you'd recommend that are in the same vein as Animorphs?

Honestly, your ask inspired me to get off my butt and finally compile a list of the books that I reference with my character names in Eleutherophobia, because in a lot of ways that’s my list of recommendations right there: I deliberately chose children’s and/or sci-fi stories that deal really well with death, war, dark humor, class divides, and/or social trauma for most of my character names.  I also tend to use allusions that either comment on Animorphs or on the source work in the way that the names come up.

That said, here are The Ten Greatest Animorphs-Adjacent Works of Literature According to Sol’s Totally Arbitrary Standards: 

1. A Ring of Endless Light, Madeline L’Engle

This is a really good teen story that, in painfully accurate detail, captures exactly what it’s like to be too young to really understand death while forced to confront it anyway.  I read it at about the same age as the protagonist, not that long after having suffered the first major loss in my own life (a friend, also 14, killed by cancer).  It accomplished exactly what a really good novel should by putting words to the experiences that I couldn’t describe properly either then or now.  This isn’t a light read—its main plot is about terminal illness, and the story is bookended by two different unexpected deaths—but it is a powerful one. 

2. The One and Only Ivan, K.A. Applegate 

This prose novel (think an epic poem, sort of like The Iliad, only better) obviously has everything in it that makes K.A. Applegate one of the greatest children’s authors alive: heartbreaking tragedy, disturbing commentary on the human condition, unforgettably individuated narration, pop culture references, and poop jokes.  Although I’m mostly joking when I refer to Marco in my tags as “the one and only” (since this book is narrated by a gorilla), Ivan does remind me of Marco with his sometimes-toxic determination to see the best of every possible situation when grief and anger allow him no other outlet for his feelings and the terrifying lengths to which he will go in order to protect his found family.

3. My Teacher Flunked the Planet, Bruce Coville

Although the entire My Teacher is an Alien series is really well-written and powerful, this book is definitely my favorite because in many ways it’s sort of an anti-Animorphs.  Whereas Animorphs (at least in my opinion) is a story about the battle for personal freedom and privacy, with huge emphasis on one’s inner identity remaining the same even as one’s physical shape changes, My Teacher Flunked the Planet is about how maybe the answer to all our problems doesn’t come from violent struggle for personal freedoms, but from peaceful acceptance of common ground among all humans.  There’s a lot of intuitive appeal in reading about the protagonists of a war epic all shouting “Free or dead!” before going off to battle (#13) but this series actually deconstructs that message as blind and excessive, especially when options like “all you need is love” or “no man is an island” are still on the table.

4. Moon Called, Patricia Briggs

I think this book is the only piece of adult fiction on this whole list, and that’s no accident: the Mercy Thompson series is all about the process of adulthood and how that happens to interact with the presence of the supernatural in one’s life.  The last time I tried to make a list of my favorite fictional characters of all time, it ended up being about 75% Mercy Thompson series, 24% Animorphs, and the other 1% was Eugenides Attolis (who I’ll get back to in my rec for The Theif).  These books are about a VW mechanic, her security-administrator next door neighbor, her surgeon roommate, her retail-working best friend and his defense-lawyer boyfriend, and their cybersecurity frenemy.  The fact that half those characters are supernatural creatures only serves to inconvenience Mercy as she contemplates how she’s going to pay next month’s rent when a demon destroyed her trailer, whether to get married for the first time at age 38 when doing so would make her co-alpha of a werewolf pack, what to do about the vampires that keep asking for her mechanic services without paying, and how to be a good neighbor to the area ghosts that only she can see.  

5. The Thief, Megan Whalen Turner

This book (and its sequel A Conspiracy of Kings) are the ones that I return to every time I struggle with first-person writing and no Animorphs are at hand.  Turner does maybe the best of any author I’ve seen of having character-driven plots and plot-driven characters.  This book is the story of five individuals (with five slightly different agendas) traveling through an alternate version of ancient Greece and Turkey with a deceptively simple goal: they all want to work together to steal a magical stone from the gods.  However, the narrator especially is more complicated than he seems, which everyone else fails to realize at their own detriment. 

6. Homecoming, Cynthia Voight

Critics have compared this book to a modern, realistic reimagining of The Boxcar Children, which always made a lot of sense to me.  It’s the story of four children who must find their own way from relative to relative in an effort to find a permanent home, struggling every single day with the question of what they will eat and how they will find a safe place to sleep that night.  The main character herself is one of those unforgettable heroines that is easy to love even as she makes mistake after mistake as a 13-year-old who is forced to navigate the world of adult decisions, shouldering the burden of finding a home for her family because even though she doesn’t know what she’s doing, it’s not like she can ask an adult for help.  Too bad the Animorphs didn’t have Dicey Tillerman on the team, because this girl shepherds her family through an Odysseus-worthy journey on stubbornness alone.

7. High Wizardry, Diane Duane

The Young Wizards series has a lot of good books in it, but this one will forever be my favorite because it shows that weird, awkward, science- and sci-fi-loving girls can save the world just by being themselves.  Dairine Callahan was the first geek girl who ever taught me it’s not only okay to be a geek girl, but that there’s power in empiricism when properly applied.  In contrast to a lot of scientifically “smart” characters from sci-fi (who often use long words or good grades as a shorthand for conveying their expertise), Dairine applies the scientific method, programming theory, and a love of Star Wars to her problem-solving skills in a way that easily conveys that she—and Diane Duane, for that matter—love science for what it is: an adventurous way of taking apart the universe to find out how it works.  This is sci-fi at its best. 

8. Dr. Franklin’s Island, Gwyneth Jones

If you love Animorphs’ body horror, personal tragedy, and portrayal of teens struggling to cope with unimaginable circumstances, then this the book for you!  I’m only being about 80% facetious, because this story has all that and a huge dose of teen angst besides.  It’s a loose retelling of H.G. Wells’s classic The Island of Doctor Moreau, but really goes beyond that story by showing how the identity struggles of adolescence interact with the identity struggles of being kidnapped by a mad scientist and forcibly transformed into a different animal.  It’s a survival story with a huge dose of nightmare fuel (seriously: this book is not for the faint of heart, the weak of stomach, or anyone who skips the descriptions of skin melting and bones realigning in Animorphs) but it’s also one about how three kids with a ton of personal differences and no particular reason to like each other become fast friends over the process of surviving hell by relying on each other.  

9. Sideways Stories from Wayside School, Louis Sachar

Louis Sachar is the only author I’ve ever seen who can match K.A. Applegate for nihilistic humor and absurdist horror layered on top of an awesome story that’s actually fun for kids to read.  Where he beats K.A. Applegate out is in terms of his ability to generate dream-like surrealism in these short stories, each one of which starts out hilariously bizarre and gradually devolves into becoming nightmare-inducingly bizarre.  Generally, each one ends with an unsettling abruptness that never quite relieves the tension evoked by the horror of the previous pages, leaving the reader wondering what the hell just happened, and whether one just wet one’s pants from laughing too hard or from sheer existential terror.  The fact that so much of this effect is achieved through meta-humor and wordplay is, in my opinion, just a testament to Sachar’s huge skill as a writer. 

10. Magyk, Angie Sage

As I mentioned, the Septimus Heap series is probably the second most powerful portrayal of the effect of war on children that I’ve ever encountered; the fact that the books are so funny on top of their subtle horror is a huge bonus as well.  There are a lot of excellent moments throughout the series where the one protagonist’s history as a child soldier (throughout this novel he’s simply known as “Boy 412″) will interact with his stepsister’s (and co-protagonist’s) comparatively privileged upbringing.  Probably my favorite is the moment when the two main characters end up working together to kill a man in self-defense, and the girl raised as a princess makes the horrified comment that she never thought she’d actually have to kill someone, to which her stepbrother calmly responds that that’s a privilege he never had; the ensuing conversation strongly implies that his psyche has been permanently damaged by the fact that he was raised to kill pretty much from infancy, but all in a way that is both child-friendly and respectful of real trauma.  

[justdictatorshipthings]

2019, looking back

Here is a list of all things cool, not so cool, and honorable mentions of 2019. If i forget anything, it isn’t personal, it was a big year.

Elon Musk and the team at tesla for their augmented reality mars lander (aka the cyber truck).

The FAA for proving why they have the highest standards in aviation safety.

Google being cubit thugs. (boooo)

I should say trump for beating all odds and making it to the next election year, but im going to do a time and give it to the resistance for realizing we don’t live in a democracy.

The EU for their breast cancer fighting collaboration network.

China for removing mandatory sentencing of people caught working as prostitutes, or those that use their services. (China probably deserves more recognition, but this was the most recent).

Huawei for being a world player with class, very interested to see what they do next.

The alternative to the swift payment system for the middle east (iran).

Wikileaks for debunking the Syrian gas narrative (syrians have suffered enough).

Chelsea Manning for having incredibly high standards as an activist, you will never be forgotten.

Hillary Clinton for making the most of life despite not making it to the white house (again).

Tulsi Gabbard for proving that it isn’t easy to be both a minority and a woman in politics, showing that unless you are willing to compromise your values no one is willing to treat you fairly. Not only does she prove how hard it is, she doesn’t make it about all of these things. She just gets up and fights again rather than being a victim.

Best game developer of the year, ubisoft, they don’t always make great masterpieces, but they do make quality games that are good value for money. They were also proud to be ahead of everyone when it comes to diversity and inclusion.

Best game was probably Metro Exodus, there are probably better ones, but in the end i guess i did enjoy exploring the world a little more. I didn’t have much time for games (what that even this year?)

My favorite film was Midsommer, well worth a re-watch for all of the hidden details in it, i’m still all a bit what did i just watch. It was clever.

Nightingale kind of deserves a mention also. I wont deny that was disturbing. But i guess in terms of a graphic reproduction of my experience set in colonial Australia, it was fair.

I didn’t have a favorite tv show, but mini series by far would have been Chernobyl.

Despite some differences, RT really did well creating their own narrative that actually did challenge the MSM.

The online version of The Age for being fair and seeing the positives, this does not include the printed version of their age, and their sections that deal with culture, food, art, entertainment, etc. Sorry.

Best song was Timlapse by Mr Moon Feat Mey. This was a good sound, takes me back to the baleric days, but it still has a mainland european chill out compilation feel to it.

Best new talent, not entirely new but Matt Fax is looking promising. Its funny his greece 2000 remix made him in to a meme. If you combine his meme, and the cover of the release, you will see what i am talking about.

Taylor Swift deserves a mention for trying to set a good example. I never said fame and religion mixed well, but you try. (Which not many do)

Cardi B for her sanders interview this was cool. I don’t want to make a big issue out of this, but Sanders for having a heart attack and attending a debate a few days later. I was sorry to hear about that.

The freeing of those pesky Reuters journalists.

Madrid (spain) for pulling the climate conference that no one else could host off. Well done for making that happen. I still personally disagree with the harsh sentences of the Catalonians, when compared to the less harsh sentences of the infamous wolf pack. But this is why the next one:

To the Catalonians for going to the EU and making a fair case, doing their independence the right way and not throwing everything in to chaos.

The many Indian nationals that are fighting for women's rights, i find it embarrassing that the other issue that won’t even get a mention is of more concern to the government while as this one, which has been an issue for some time, doesn’t get the attention it deserves.

The independent for its articles on the need to improve medicine and treatments for women. I think i got this one right its in my twitter from around about then.

Also a mention to the women that sued the makers of those pelvic mesh abominations. I hope that the medical community takes this seriously and a better solution is found.

VW for admitting a mistake and trying to do better.

All of those new vegan meat alternatives, if you are in to that kind of thing, but it may one day be our only option.

My cat pascal, sorry that guy deserves to be in here to.

Cassandra for buying the LOL unboxing set instead of the LOL Chalet though im sure she was tempted.

The dad of Ms thunburg, for admitting that her daughter was happy, most likely because she realized that she was smart and not someone on the autistic spectrum (yes of course and for being my hero and finding a way to skip school while doing something that contributes to our society). I will say false or incorrect diagnoses can have a profound affect on someones life.

The many people who are bringing peace in this world, i’m sorry i don’t remember all of your names. Maybe i will do more to focus on these people in the new year.

To our Australian firefighters for being left with the unfortunate job of being caught up in all of this.

To all activists even if we don’t agree.

To tim minchin for his 70k donation to help refugees. you know tim, to be accurate with what you should have done, it should have been 7 million (6 zeros not 4) given the whole point of stalking me is to keep this accurate because if you don’t the world will collapse, isn’t it? Yeah i still think you deserve credit for the 70k.

The theys that came back in to my life. And the theys that are still in my life the legal way.

Thats all i can think of for now. Maybe more later. God Bless. Happy new year. I hope the year of 2020, which represents the 2020 year we are mourning for jesus’s passing, is a good example of why we want to avoid doing this. Amen.

[cathierrr]

How I Met Your Father

I am a mother that was not perfect. Many of my mistakes could have been avoided. Was I too young and immature to be a wife and mother?  Did my parents and grandparents try to tell us? Sure they did! No one could convince me otherwise. I’m laying it right out here in the first paragraph. Absolutely flawed the first time around. Not flawed to the extent Todd was in danger or lacking for anything, including love. We were just too young to be married let alone have children. Todd was an only child until he was 14.

However, there’s no way in hell that I’m owning that my marriage or mothering skills lacked the second time around.

Contrary to the podcasts, I was an excellent wife and mother. All the gaslighting you throw at me will not change my feelings on this subject. My story is backed with public records through court documents, police reports, pictures, even a voice mail recording from 1986.  Included in my story is a sister that has fabricated a lot of my story to my two younger children. Based on Cindy’s lies she’s also part of this story. I’m not skipping over her shortcomings either. So sis time to make another appointment with your Dr to up your Prozac. Please don’t forget the dentist too because you are going to be grinding your teeth again after this. There are no words worthy of my sister Cindy’s twisted mental contribution to this situation, but I’m sure going to try. A lot of witnesses have passed on, but fortunately many are still living. They have very sharp memories on the matter of what truly happened. Slander is a serious charge and provable in this story. Saving the best for last, I also have very detailed Journals dating from 1984 until 2010. I have condensed my earlier years in order to jump to the story of my final husband, Richard “Rick” Thomas Rockwood.  What caused me to relive this drama is my daughter. Danica’s recent podcast (Adapt/Overcome, part 2) stating that she didn’t remember why her parents got divorced. In a way I blame myself because I didn’t want to bad mouth their father.  I would love to forget most of it but I’m rehashing it because I feel it’s time to put the story out there. If I didn’t participate in this story I would hesitate to believe it was true. Unfortunately, it happened. I met Todd’s father, Mike the day after I graduated high school on June 6, 1972, my 18th birthday. When I went away to college that fall I was “in love”. I didn’t make it further than the first semester in Quincy, IL. All I wanted to do was get married and be a mother. We were married on January 26, 1974, I was 19. A week before our first anniversary we had Todd Joseph on January 19th, 1975. I was age 20.

Am I sorry for my shortcomings as Todd’s mother? Absolutely, I have expressed that to Todd many times in vain. I love Todd and always will regardless of how he feels about me. Todd has never been a warm or forgiving person towards me. I’m sure he’s nicer to others. I know he loves his siblings. Years later we’re driving to have a family portrait done. Todd’s home for a visit from the seminary where he had been for 5 years. Todd didn’t stop telling me his opinion of me as his mother until we arrived at the Palm Beach Catholic Church. He wanted to go to mass where the Kennedy’s went prior to the family portrait. Once we lit some candles and got back in the car, Todd continued his assessment of me. The family portrait would only have my three children in it. By the time we arrived my eyes were too red and swollen from crying.  My shortcomings were that I married his father who he has less respect for than me, but he loves the rest of his fathers family so he overlooks his alcoholic, classless red neck father (his words many times). He was a victim of divorce (we spoiled him more because of it which didn’t help) and I smoked marijuana. He is right on all of my shortcomings. I was young and thought pot would be legal soon. I missed that projected date by about 40 years. In my defense I learned from it and never smoked around my younger children. Now it’s a mute point but I am owning my shortcomings. Todd has accused me of too many other things that never happened.

I always knew that following the teachings of the Bible would not be his final path. A month after the family portrait episode Todd calls me in tears. The seminary in Cheshire, CT is letting him go. Not exactly letting him go. He had some medical problems during his seminary stay and the church wanted Todd to start his work in a church. 

They felt missionary work that Todd wanted would require things that might affect his health. He’d already almost died from gallbladder surgery and later back surgery. All of this by the time he was 21.  I told him this was a sign from God to do something else. I offered my home at no cost (that changed 3 months before he left). He could go to college and start his life. He also mentioned that his step father showed him that money and power was the best way to make it. Today Todd is an international corporate attorney in London. He hates me and has nothing good to say about me. I’m fine with his feelings until I come across his blatant lies.  It’s just my personal opinion, but is this really the expected behavior of a former priest?

October 25, 1985, Friday night Sandy Belcher and I had just left a great rock concert by Heart. It was at the West Palm Beach Auditorium (now known as The Jehovah Witness Center on the corner of North Congress Avenue and Palm Beach Lakes Blvd.). The auditorium was about a mile from my office. It was my favorite place for concerts not just because it was small and close. The building was circular and when there was nothing going on, you could drive up the ramp to the ticket window, purchase future tickets and drive away, no parking necessary. In the future Rick and I would see many concerts there including Eddy Murphy, Rodney Dangerfield. A little over a year later on December 27, 1986, we would take Todd to his first concert there with Cyndi Lauper. Rick and I had gotten engaged two days earlier on Christmas Eve.

Sandy bought the tickets for her and her boyfriend, Johnny Connelly. Johnny backed out at the last minute. Sandy didn’t want to go alone and I was almost done packing at home, so we went.  We had front row seats!

After the concert, we hit Big Daddy’s, also just down the street on Okeechobee Blvd. Robin Gufstason and Amy Boehler were going to be there prior to our arrival and would have a table for us.  Isn’t it funny how fate takes over? I would have stayed home and finished packing if Johnny had decided to go. In hindsight I kind of wished he had. There were good times too, especially my children. I hold onto those memories when reliving my story.

I remember walking into Big Daddy’s and getting a seat at Robin and Amy’s front row table. At the time, Sandy, Robin, Amy and I all worked together at the West Palm Beach Better Business Bureau. Robin and I were also roommates. I had moved to West Palm Beach a year earlier on April 1, 1984. I remembered the date well for 3 reasons. It was April Fool’s Day, also was my cousin Janine’s birthday. Janine’s brother Bruce was my age and my first encounter with a bully. Trust me when I say, never be around a bully on April Fool’s Day.

Robin’s boyfriend had just got transferred to Daytona which meant we could no longer share the the home we were renting in Palm Beach Gardens. I was moving in with Carmen Parish and her son, Adam on Sunday to Browning St. in West Palm Beach. After the band went on break, my roommate Robin goes outside with the band. Apparently Robin was not thrilled with her boyfriend whose name escapes me. Moving to Dayton was according to Robin “bumming her out” so a little payback with the drummer was her goal. Meanwhile, Amy mentions she has had her eye on one of the guys at the bar since he got there about an hour earlier. She could see he was finally staring at our table, she just knew he was going to ask her to dance after the band got off break. It seemed to me that the guy Amy had her hook for was already with a tall blonde. When I mentioned the blonde to Amy she said that wasn’t a deal breaker!? Amy and I didn’t share the same views at times. When the band break was over I noticed the tall blonde with the guy Amy was pumped up about was coming towards our table. She tells me her name is Lisa and she came over to our table because the guy she is with wanted to meet me. The guy is named Rick and is the brother of Lisa’s boyfriend David. Evidently Lisa and David had recently broke up and Rick took her out to cheer her up. By now Robin is back at our table and tells me to meet him. Knowing that Amy saw him first made me hesitate but Amy agreed I should. Rick came to our table and was very personable and handsome. I had recently broke off with my long term boyfriend and wasn’t looking for another.  After dancing for an hour I told Rick I had to go since I had to work in the morning. Rick asked me on a date for the next night. His friend Mark and his girlfriend were having a Halloween party in Wellington. I’m big on Halloween so I accepted. He walked me to my car and I gave him my address. He told me he loved my car. I had just gotten a red VW bug and also loved it.  It’s funny how much changes during a courtship. Later he will tell everyone that when he met me I was living out of boxes with a “piece of shit car”. I had no clue that night just how much my life would change. Until next time, Cathie

[whoopsblackdress-blog]

Wedding Dance1

A/N:  It’s been a while since we wrote something together, but we hope you enjoy this.  We think it’s going to be about 5 parts long.  This part is all Harry fluff.  Enjoy!

It’s already dark outside, but the chilly summer breeze feels comfortable. It had been a warm day, not hot like the days in late August usually are -- a perfect day for a wedding. I want such a glorious day for my own wedding. The sun shone high in the sky during the day, and now the stars and the moon are twinkling with fairy lights.

I’m sitting in my chair, my place card in front of me in case I forget my name. Giggling at my own joke, I play with the white card which tells me my name in raised gold letters. My other hand rests on the stem of my wine glass. It’s nearly midnight. I promised myself I could leave at midnight, go upstairs to my room and sleep, falling onto the bed while still in my dress without removing make up. Who cares? I am alone here, so nobody will see me in the morning. My plan is to leave early tomorrow, so maybe I will be able to escape the parents of the bride. I crave my flat, a warm bath with a glass of wine, and listening to my favourite records. Yes, my flat is tiny, so I can hear the record player in my bathroom. Though my cozy home is small I could never relinquish the luxury of a bathtub. I sigh yearningly as I think of my empty flat.

I have been here for two days, helping my university friend to organise the final details of her wedding. She found a lovely man in her company. It was the perfect romance when they met at the copy machine. Since that auspicious meeting they can’t live without each other. He is a handsome man, the kind of man any woman would want as a husband. Allen is funny, but you can chat with him about serious issues too.

Admittedly, I’m a little bit jealous. No, jealousy is not the right word. I grant her this man, every single inch of him, though I miss the feeling of a good night kiss, of coming home and someone being there, waiting only for me, asking how my day was. But I also make it less than easy for the men in my life. Ruefully, I turn the glass in my hand, observing the dark red liquid. I can hear my mum in my head, “You’re married to your job! You have to step back!” Maybe she’s right, but I had to climb high mountains to be where I stand right now in my career.

Looking around on the table I reach for the bottle of wine two places over. Pouring the smooth red wine with relish, I smile slightly.

I knew it would be a big wedding, but I was speechless as I arrived at the manor. My old VW beetle looked very shabby with his worn out red color in front of the stately home. It’s like she is marrying Mr. Darcy, and I’m Emma sitting here alone at the table dwelling on my thoughts, thinking of missed opportunities, elusive kisses, mucked up dates. Asking me why I don’t wear the white dress and dance with my new husband.

Closing my eyes, I hear the band play another love song.

But here I am. Sitting at the round table which is covered with a white tablecloth and a glamorous flower bouquet in the middle. I cannot see those seated across from me because of the huge floral arrangement. I have brought no company with me, so I am practicing self-care, rewarding myself with wine.

My feet are throbbing with pain; my big toe is numb, so I decide to break the rules and slip out of my shoes. I usually wear sneakers or some comfortable shoes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like to dress up elegantly occasionally.

I wiggle my toes under the table, not caring that the tablecloth only reaches to my ankles. God! I feel the cold ground under my feet. Can I say the feeling is better than sex? I guess I can say that since the last time a man visited my bedroom was because he installed my new bed (by the way, no man has slept in that bed).

I close my eyes, leaning back while listening to the music. I resist the urge to put my heavy legs on the empty chair next to me. The crowd has thinned out with only a few dancers still on the floor alongside the bridal couple. Opening my heavy lids, my glance weaves through the tent. The band is playing “Have You Met Miss Jones,” and I slug deeply from my wine. I would be lying if I said I don’t feel the pleasant feeling of the wine in my veins. During the week I allow myself sometimes a glass of wine, mostly on Friday nights when I’m sitting at my desk working on paperwork.

My eyes wander further through the room and rest on my dear friend in her bridal regalia. She looks beautiful in her dress, a little bit like a cupcake, but a gorgeous one! I roll my eyes. Did I really think that? Biting my lip, I try to hide my smile. All the dresses I pulled out when we were shopping for wedding dresses, the bride claimed were too simple, too straight, or too boring. Finally I sat back in the chair, defeated, and examined her in several dresses. The one with the tulle skirt won.

They are in love. Anyone can see that, and it’s beautiful how he whispers something in her ear, and her smile brightens. My heart aches a little bit. I used a whole pack of tissues in the church, and I don’t want to continue crying, so I unfix my glance from them with a sad smile.

Weddings. What used to be fun has become a bit of a drudgery for me. One of the things my fame has stripped from me is anonymity, and at a wedding this size, every girl over the age of four wants to dance with me. My feet hurt. My legs hurt. My whole body aches. All I want is to rest and enjoy a glass of champagne and toast my friend Allen on his wedding day. Glancing at my watch, I see it is nearly midnight, and I breathe out a sigh of relief. At midnight I can turn back into a pumpkin and haul my weary ass up to bed. If only I can remember where my room is. Getting in so late last night and then stumbling downstairs barely in time for the wedding means that I have no idea which way to go to my room.

Sinking into my chair, I look at the congealed plate of meat. Having had no time to eat with all of the dancing, my stomach growls a bit, but no way am I eating this. It looks disgusting now, even though it probably cost a lot of money to serve. Maybe I’ll get some cake. There has to be wedding cake somewhere, right? My eyes roam the tented space, skirting over all of the women in the room who are still trying to make eye contact with me. Damn. I knew I should have brought a cousin or Gemma as my date.

As my eyes skim the room, seeking out the table with the sweet confection, they pause and return to settle on one woman. She’s sitting at a table by herself, her hand playing with the base of the wineglass in front of her. The look on her face likely matches my own, as she seems to be exhausted and anxious to leave.

A drunken wanker approaches her and begins talking. She’s annoyed, but polite. It seems he won’t leave her alone until she gives him a withering stare, which finally forces the drunk arsehole to back off. The satisfied look on her face makes me grin. I don’t know her, but I can imagine her internal dialogue. When she looks up, I catch her eye and raise my champagne glass in a silent toast to her.

Blushing, she looks away. Her eyes are slightly puffy, as if she has been crying. That’s what women do at weddings, right? My mum and Gems certainly cry buckets at these things. I continue to examine her while she looks away, her eyes resting on the newly married couple. The graceful turn of her neck captures my attention, and she raises her left hand to her cheek. No rings on her fingers, and I wonder why it matters to me enough to have noticed. Her long elegant fingers cup her cheek, and I have this urge to replace her fingers with my lips.

From here, I can see that she isn’t wearing her shoes. Oh, how I wish I were so bold as to remove my shoes, but I’m wearing my boots. They aren’t easy to take off, so I guess I’ll just have to suffer in my sweaty footwear. Besides, if I did manage to take them off, surely pictures of me wearing only my socks at my mate’s wedding would show up in tomorrow’s Sun. And no matter how many times I remind myself that I shouldn’t care what the tabloids say, it still bothers me. Plus, Mum would be upset with me for being so casual at an event like this.

It is only for a few seconds our glances meet, and he raises his glass, but….. Is it the wine? I didn’t notice him the whole day and evening. He sits across the room, the dance floor between us, and now I can’t see him anymore. What kind of man would raise his glass to a totally unknown woman? I’m nosy in a way, but maybe he is dunk. I give in and bend my head forward a bit, while I stroke a strand behind my ear, playing nervously with my earring.

The band starts a horrible version of Elton John’s “Your Song”.

His arm supports his chin while it rests on the backrest of the white chair. The fabric of his black jacket makes waves on his upper arm. I open my lips a little bit, bending further down as he looks at me again. I blush and feel caught. Damn. In shock I slip completely out of my right shoe, and my foot touches the cold ground again. He smiles at me. I never saw such a pure smile before. I don’t want to smile back, but I have to. A soft smile appears on my lips as I see his fingers. On nearly every finger is a ring. His head tilts to the right, and I can see dimples. Jesus! Dimples. I’m not sure if he smiles at me or at someone else, so I turn to the right and to the left. Nobody there. He means me. Biting my lips I frown, pointing with my finger at my chest, mouthing “Me?” My heart is racing. I feel how my mouth curves in a smile again. What am I doing here?! I’m not the type of girl who sleeps with the groomsman. Is he the groomsman? No. I would have recognized him in the church.

I can’t see him, an old couple is dancing between us. But there is something I can’t describe. Something in his glance, something between us, a tension? Is this the right word? God, I’m so bad at such things. The last time I was out, the whole evening ended in a catastrophe.

When she sweeps her hair behind her ear, I get a glimpse of that perfect shell there, and my cock jumps a bit thinking about kissing her right behind that ear. Just a whisper of my lips over the skin there would be enough. I bet her hair smells clean and flowery. She looks soft and warm, and I want to cuddle with her. That sounds stupid. We haven’t even met, and here I am thinking about kissing her and smelling her hair and cuddling with her.

This elderly couple continues roaming around the dance floor, blocking my view of her every once in awhile, and I wish they would move. They’re cute, though, and I suddenly get a stab in my heart as I think about dancing one day with my wife when we are old like these two. They are shuffling along, their feet barely moving. Their cheeks are pressed tightly together, and he holds her loosely around the waist. Together they look so in love, even though they are likely in their 80s.

When I glance back at her, I see that she’s been watching me watch the old couple, and I blush, embarrassed. She inclines her head and smiles at me, and my stomach does this little flip. It’s late, and I must be getting delirious because I’m compelled to go talk to her. That’s a silly thought because tomorrow morning I get on a plane to go back to LA to work on a new movie role. There’s no time to get to know this woman.

Briefly I consider a one-night stand with her. A fling. But the more I gaze at her, holding her eyes now with my own, the more I know that she’s not the type to fuck a stranger. No. This woman is the type you grow old with, shuffling around the dance floor together in your 80s. There is applause from the remaining crowd as the bridal couple dance, Allen twirling the bride around in her gown, lace flouncing out. It draws my attention away from HER, and when I look back, she has a wistful gaze on her face as she watches them dance. Why is she lonely? Why is she here by herself? A woman with her unconventional beauty should not sit alone at a wedding. It feels like a betrayal to women everywhere.

When her eyes turn back to mine, I try to determine whether I should approach her or not. Her fingers rest over her mouth now, absently tracing the line of her lips, drawing my attention to them. I lick my own lips as I watch her. It’s after midnight. I could easily head up to my room, making my excuses. No one would question me. But still, I hesitate.

He is still observing me. Is he watching or flirting with me? Nervously my fingertips dance over my lips. Shifting on my chair I feel a little uncomfortable. Why should a man like him flirt with me? I bet he is thinking of a one-night stand. Shag the bridesmaid, and then disappear in the morning. God! I have heard such stories. I know millions of stories like that. I take another slug of my wine. The velvet liquid moistens my suddenly dry lips, and I swallow it down without tasting.

I can hear my best friend, “Have fun! Maybe you’ll meet someone.” Then she smiled at me and kissed my cheek. Yes, why I shouldn’t have fun? Was it not allowed for me to have fun? Yes! But I know how it would end. He would whisper sweet things in my ear, so I would give in, and he would leave while I’m sleeping. Only the sheets which smell like him would disclose that he had been with me. And I would ask myself the whole way home why he left without giving me his number or without any greeting or even a goodbye. Then I would lay in my bathtub, disgusted with myself that I was so stupid.

Sadly I look down at my lap, smoothing my dress. But why not? I know how it ends, so there would be no surprises for me. Why am I hesitating? What if he is Mr. Right? I roll my eyes. What a stupid thought! But what if he is my Mr. Knightly? Stealthily, I try to look up to him. I try to hide my face with some loose strands which fall over my cheek. I can see only his right foot. He wears black boots, and the trousers are in a black and white floral pattern. The old couple turns around, and I recoil immediately as he appears in my point of view. The backrest of the chair drills into my back. What am I doing? Closing my eyes I hear the band start a new song. One of my favourites. Privately, I hoped they would play it. The soft tunes from the guitar wave to me as the musician on the record starts to sing.

“So, So you can tell...Heaven from hell”

Still with my eyes closed I start to sway my body to the melody. Slowly I open one eye to check to see if he is still looking at me.

Watching her sway as she listens to Pink Floyd makes me smile, and I decide to approach her while she’s enjoying the song. Maybe just a single dance with her, a sniff of her hair, and then I’ll go upstairs to my room to sleep the night away. At least I will have the pleasant memory of her in my mind.

My eyes stay on her as I skirt the dance floor. She opens one eye slightly, looking at the spot where I had been sitting. When she sees I’m no longer there, both of her eyes pop wide open, and she starts scanning the room. The look on her face is more than curiosity or mild interest. No, she is concerned, worried, disappointed. The moment her eyes find me rounding the table nearest her, her shoulders slump in relief, and then immediately stiffen again in fear. I see the emotions cross her face, and I know she considers leaving the table before I arrive.

Suddenly a drunken bridesmaid is in the aisle blocking me. Where did she come from? She’s chugging directly from a bottle of champagne, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand when she finishes, and then burping in my face before she says, “Aren’t you Harry Styles?”

Nodding, I look around for her keeper. Someone has to be in charge of this woman. She’s a clingy drunk, too, and she leans into me, turning around so her back is rubbing against my front, and I know exactly what she’s trying to arouse as she tilts her head back to look up at me. “I bet you get lonely, don’t you, Harry?” she slurs, and I roll my eyes.

Hearing laughter, I move my eyes to HER where she’s clutching her sides as she giggles uncontrollably. “Help,” I mouth at her, and she continues to chuckle until I add a “please”. Coming over to where I’m standing as I try to fend off the advances of this handsy bridesmaid as she actually grabs for my cock through my pants. I hop my lower body away from her, and her hand falls flat.

My savior swoops in and takes the drunken girl by the arm, turning her around. “Melody,” she coos, “I think your date is over here,” as she leads her away from me. I notice that she has slipped her shoes back on before rescuing me, and I watch her ass sway as she guides the offensive woman away from me.

Will she return? Spotting her evening bag still at the table, I know she will, so I sit in the chair next to the one she’s abandoned.

“I guess she had enough to drink tonight,” I press my lips tightly together as I hand Melody to her date. She falls clumsily on his lap, and I ask myself why I slipped back into my shoes. Bending down to Mel, I look over my shoulder and spot his curly head at my table. Shit! Too quickly I stand up, and my head spins a bit. Biting my lip, I feel butterflies in my belly. Butterflies? Jesus! I’m nervous. If the key to my room wasn’t in my bag on the table next to him, I would sneak out of the tent. But now I have to return.

God! His smile makes me woozy, and as I think of his dimples the butterflies start flying again in my belly. Pressing one hand to my stomach, I start to walk in the direction of my table. It’s not my table anymore, though. He sits in the chair which was reserved for my guest. With shaking hands, I attempt to smooth some strands behind my ear, a nervous habit I’ve developed. They are still behind my ear from previous swipes, but… God, I’m so tense. Only a few meters separate me from him. My hands are fists on either side of my body. I square my shoulders. Involuntarily, I smile.

He looks to the right, and I see his profile. He has no hard lines on his face: it’s very smooth, nothing angular. It’s like a painting that the painter drew in complete devotedness. His lips are curved slightly and the color of his lips… I have to breathe in and swallow as my glance wanders further up his face. The straight nose … and his eyes. Damn. I never saw such an intense glance. His gaze is awake, and suddenly his hand slides to his lip, pulling on it. It seems that he is nervous too. Such a handsome man is anxious? No, not possible. I reach the table, still with the soft smile on my lips as he turns his head in my direction. His green eyes look up, and I hold my breath for a moment.

“Thank you,” he says in a smooth, husky voice. “It seems you’re the kind of helpful woman a man needs by his side,” he winks. I blush, sitting down on my chair.

“I don’t think so,” I mumble, pressing my flat palms on the table. Where is my glass of wine? I need something to hold. He raises his eyebrows, fixing me with his eyes. I stretch out my hand to grab the glass, still looking at him. It was inevitable that exactly this would happen. My hand misses the glass, and I try to catch it. As clumsy as I am, the half full glass falls over. The white tablecloth stains immediately with the dark red, and some thick drops dribble from my hand. My eyes are wide as I follow the path of the wet liquid. On his left leg is a darker spot, and I see how the wine has soaked his trousers. All I want is to escape. Tears well up in my eyes, and I quickly grab the cloth napkin, pressing it on his leg. This is it. I will never be able to date a man. To marry a man. Or even talk to a man. Ever again.

“I...I..God.. I’m so, so sorry!” I press the napkin hard on his leg as if it were a bandage. His hand touches mine while I’m pressing on his leg. Shyly, I look up to him, only to lower my glance promptly again.

“Everything’s fine,” I can hear his smile, but I do not have the courage to look at him. “It’s last season’s Gucci suit.”

I ruined a Gucci suit. I ruined a suit which cost a fortune. Where is the hole into which I can disappear? Closing my eyes I press tighter on his leg. His hand slides tenderly over mine; his forefinger strokes over the back of my hand.

She’s so nervous, and it’s so sweet watching her press the cloth to my trousers. “It was an accident,” I try to tell her, but she’s having none of it. I don’t care about the suit. It’s a pittance in the grand scheme of things.

Her eyes have filled with tears, and she won’t look at me. “I can pay you back for your suit. It will take me a few years, so please tell me you’re okay with a payment plan,” she whispers.

I chuckle loudly at her comment, “You want to pay me back for spilling wine on my trousers?”

She nods, and those tears look like they are about to spill over. “Simple,” I smile at her, and I know that my dimple is showing at its finest right now, which is good. The dimple is a great weapon. “Dance with me.”

Her breath catches, and I want to bundle her into a hug. Her eyes roam over my face, and I can tell she doesn’t believe that it’s that easy. But I rarely wear the same suit twice, and I’ve worn this one three times, so it’s time it retired anyway. What would I want with her money? But a dance. Fuck me. I’ve wanted to dance with her since I laid eyes on her.

“Really?” she whispers, “You want to dance with me after I ruined your suit?”

“I’ve wanted to dance with you since spying you over here with your bare feet,” I reveal to her cautiously, afraid she will bolt at my attention.

She blushes, “You saw? I only took them off for a few minutes.” So I tell her how much I wished I could have taken my own shoes off, and she’s laughing within the next few minutes.

When the song changes to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye, I stand and hold out my hand to her. She smiles at me shyly and takes my hand. Pulling her close, I practice shuffling my sore feet like the elderly couple had done. She feels so soft in my arms, and I spin us both around a few times, twisting her in time with the music. Her left hand grips my shoulder, and our right hands are intertwined.

As I had imagined, her hair smells amazing when I bury my nose in it. And when I press a soft kiss to that spot behind her ear, she shivers just a bit. I pull her tighter to me, sliding my leg between hers just as Marvin is singing, “I’m asking you, babe, to get it on with me.”

[stacks-reviews]

Must Reads Special #2

Welcome to the second special edition of Must Reads. 

This months episode: Stacks Favorite Movies.

--Balto “An outcast half-wolf risks his life to prevent a deadly epidemic from ravaging Nome, Alaska.”

It has been a very long time since I last watched this movie but I remember renting it a lot from the local video store. My mom even got onto me once because I kept picking it almost very time my sister and I spent the weekend at our grandparents. Not surprising really. What little kid wouldn’t love a movie starring a dog with his goofy polar bear best friends as he saves a town and gets  the girl he had a dog crush on? And the fact that it is a true story. Though it would many more years before I found out just how true of a story it really was.

--Better Off Dead and One Crazy Summer “After his girlfriend ditches him for a boorish ski jock, Lane decides that suicide is the only answer. However, his increasingly inept attempts bring him only more agony and embarrassment.” “Hoops McCann has the name but not the talent to carry on the family basketball tradition. He’d rather earn an art school scholarship by writing and illustrating a love story. This summer in Nantucket he’s going to get the necessary romantic experience...The annual Nantucket regatta sets the stage for Hoop’s bid to earn his lady’s love and a larcenous land developer’s party sets the stage for an attack by Godzilla.”

Yeah, this is actually two movies but I can’t think of one without thinking about the other. My sister and I watched both of these every weekend that we stayed at our grandparents house (after I stopped watching Balto all the time). At least once a day the whole weekend. They only have two things in common: John Cusack stars in them and they were directed by Savage Steve Holland.

Both are great comedies with a long list of lines that I quote regularly. It is also in watching these that we realized anything is possible when your in a montage. Including learning how to ski. In Better Off Dead you have a very persistent paper boy who only wants his two dollars, plus tip. Two brothers that will always challenge you to a race, a singing cheeseburger, and two very useful lines for getting out of something (”I gotta go, the Christmas Tree is on fire” and “See... the problem here is that...my little brother, this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave, and uh...my grandmother dropped acid and she freaked out, and hijacked a bus full of penguins.”).

In One Crazy Summer you have hilarious cartoon scenes starring a rhino searching for love but being thwarted by the cute and fuzzy bunnies, getting gassed by chili, and an attack by Godzilla as only Bobcat Goldthwait can. I love these movies.

--Ghost and the Darkness “Michael Douglas and Val Kilmer star in this tense, terrific and true adventure set in 1896 East Africa. There two lions on a man-eating rampage have shut down the construction of a railway. The beasts hunt for sport rather than for food - and they have an almost supernatural knack for knowing what traps await them. Big-game hunter Remington and construction engineer Patterson set out to stop these unstoppable monsters.”

Based off a true story that I became obsessed with. Even did a paper about it when I was in middle school. I also own the book The Man-Eaters of Tsavo by John Henry Patterson which details every encounter he had with Ghost and Darkness along with details about hunts he went on during the rest of his time in there. Everything that happens in the film really did happen. Although, there are some scenes that didn’t actually occur until after Ghost and Darkness were shot.

But I should elaborate first. In Tsavo, Kenya two mane-less male lions killed over 90 railroad workers over the course of 9 months (although that number is up to debate but we mostly have Patterson’s journal to judge by). Before Patterson’s arrival many attempts where made to scare the pair away but did not succeed. They tried campfires and bomas but the lions would ignore the fires and would climb through or leap over the bomas. They didn’t fall for the traps that Patterson set. Ultimately they were stopped but it wasn’t easy. If I remember correctly it took about 9 shots to killed the second lion. I can’t remember how many it took the first lion. There are a few theories about why they attacked and ate people but it is still being debated.

The first time I saw the movie I loved it. Still do. 

--Indiana Jones A series of films following archaeology professor; Indiana Jones, as he searches for lost artifacts.

A very poor description for a great film series. Except for number four.  From favorite to least favorite it goes Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and then Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. 

That order because Last Crusade is just fantastic, so is Lost Ark but I have never been overly found of that last scene (I think it scared me the first time), Temple of Doom third mostly because of that was the one of the original trio that we watched the least. And Crystal Skull last because the alien idea was pretty fun but I would have preferred it to have been about an items with more historic importance (although Temple of Doom didn’t focus on one either). Plus, for just about every movie there is usually that one scene that universally people don’t mention around those who they know haven’t seen the movie yet. Because you just have to see it for yourself. You don’t want to ruin it. And then there’s the scenes that we don’t mention because it was just that bad. And Crystal Skull has two of them. Overall, it isn’t a bad film but it is the weakest in this series.

I watched the original three a lot growing up and I still watch them at least once a year. There’s action, humor, history, and Harrison Ford. Really you can’t go wrong with these films. 

--Little Miss Sunshine “Father Richard is desperately trying to sell his motivational success program...with no success. Meanwhile, ‘pro-honesty’ mom Sheryl lends support to her eccentric family, including her depressed brother, fresh out of the hospital after being jilted by his lover. Then there are the younger Hoovers - the seven-year-old, would-be beauty queen Olive and Dwayne, a Nietzche-reading teen who has taken a vow of silence. Topping off the family is the foul-mouthed grandfather, whose outrageous behavior recently got him evicted from his retirement home. When Olive is invited to complete in the “Little Miss Sunshine” pageant in far-off California, the family piles into their rusted-out VW bus to rally behind her - with riotously funny results.”

By far my favorite dysfunctional family movie ever. It is funny and sweet and sad. The family is on some hard times but agree to all take Olive to the pageant. With the prospect of selling Richard’s motivational success program along the way. But of course nothing is ever that easy as their van breaks down and now they have to push it in order for it to start. And it just gets worse from there.

But they grow together and become closer than before. And I’m trying really hard not to give spoilers but it’s proving difficult. On all of these really. So I’ll leave it at this. It really is a very good dark humor film. Abigail Breslin is adorable in it as Olive. She stole the show. And her dance routine at the end. I would highly recommend watching the whole movie instead of looking up the routine online; though I won’t stop you if you do. It makes its impact so much better.

[plaidstiel-wormstache]

Sunday Afternoon

Part 1

@butiaintgonnaloveem set an AMAZING challenge; Must be about Baby, our beloved Impala. So I picked the following song (please listen to it first) that I fell in love with and this fic is what resulted. It’s 6k words, so it’s in 2 parts... enjoy

Song: Groovin (The Young Rascals) Characters: Reader, John, Dean, Sam Warnings: fluff, angst, supernatural themes, death, blood... A/N: Thank you to the marvelous @avasmommy224 for being my beta on this, you’re one amazing woman! Summary: A shared love for an Impala brings people closer together, whether they know it or not... (shit summary but I don’t want to spoil anything)

May 29th, 1967: I'd been saving up all my money for that bloody car. I knew exactly what I wanted. I'd even asked the bank about a loan so I could get it faster, but oh no… no loan for a travelling woman who didn't have a solid job, or a home! I finally had enough money for the car of my dreams, a 1965 Ford Mustang! I almost ran to the car lot when I received my pay for the month. I had walked past this car for the past year, the only reason it was still here was that i’d put a deposit on it last year, Gary the owner of the car yard knew me well by now. I was in every other week, just staring and mumbling to the precious baby. 3.27pm; when you're whole life changes, you want to be able to pinpoint it when you look back. I rushed into the car yard, looked to my left, two cars back, I already had my finger pointed and I said you’ll be all mine soon, baby, but all the cars had been moved around and it was out before I’d even realized. The sleek, shining, red, Ford Mustang had been swapped for a twinkling, black, brand new, Chevrolet Impala. Did my world change or what? Gary came out, waving the papers at me, but I ignored him. I went straight over to the car. I had to see her, had to touch her. She was a siren and I was caught in her song. “YN, your car’s over here.” Gary tried to loop a hand around my waist but I wasn't budging. “How much is she?” I whispered. I was in a trance, I wasn't leaving here without this beauty. “Four thousand.” To give Gary credit, he did try and talk me round, he spent ages begging me to come over to the Ford, he mentioned the deposit more than once, but it wasn't till I held my switchblade to him that he gave in. And I couldn't believe it either, she was cheaper than the Ford. “She’s mine.” I whispered, nodding at my decision. “But…” Gary tried again but one stern look in his direction and he got the point. He hurried off to the office for the paperwork.

July 21st, 1969: She was a dream to ride in. The only baby I'd ever need. She kept me warm on cold nights, she kept me safe from danger. She also took a beating like no other car. I can't tell you how many times she'd been shot at, clawed, kicked. My line of unofficial work wasn't all that healthy. Hunting could really kill if you didn't have a trusty companion, and she was mine. Sure she didn't quell the need for a man between my legs, but she provided the room in the back seat.  And the music system was even better, she seemed to have my favourite song playing each time I turned her on. I can't imagine anything gets better, the world is ours whenever we’re together… She was perfect.

October 8th, 1971: I sped along the back roads of Kansas, I'd been tracking this bloody coven across several different states. Each time I thought I was close I'd see or hear of something relative to their powers a state away. I had it narrowed to a Circus. They were the only ones that were two states ahead of me, travelling at the pace of the coven. I was gonna get ahead of them. I could do this. I stamped on the accelerator, flooring it.

October 12th, 1971: I’d found them! I, YFN YLN, had found the coven. Of course, I had Baby to thank for it. If she hadn't broken down, I wouldn't have been helped by the lion tamer and circus mechanic. They invited me to the show, I thought it was the perfect way of getting in. I'd overheard people talking about how correct and specific the Soothsayer was. That rang bells, so I went in for my fortune. She began to chant and flap her arms, all for show. But then I noticed her transition from babble to Latin. The tent began to fill with smoke, it smelt like sage and something I couldn't put my finger on. She then looked to the crystal ball. I watched from the other side, keeping an eye on her. All of a sudden she stood up, throwing me out of the tent flap with a wave of her hand. I was winded and confused but I had found my witch. I stayed in my car till they finished up for the night, crowds flocking out of the gates as the big lights switched off. I idled in the car a while, finally gathering up my knife and potion and pressed a kiss to my fingertips then to the bonnet as I walked away. Be back soon, Baby. I was out of my depths, I killed two but it wasn't a fair fight, 5 witches to one ordinary human. I retreated back to the Impala to lick my wounds, call for reinforcements, they were stronger than I'd ever imagined.

October 13th, 1971: Waking up in the Impala wasn't ever unusual, it was actually a common occurrence. But I specifically remember falling asleep in a motel bed. I remembered the curse I'd been blasted with the night before. I remembered the chanting… I opened my eyes and was staring at the door to the motel room. I tried to get up, but I didn't move. I tried to look down. I couldn't. The cleaner walked past me, I tried to call for help. Nothing. Couldn't she see me? Was I bound? Was this a trick? Was I invisible? I lay there for a while, watching the clouds float by before the sun streamed down, out from hiding behind the grey cotton candy in the sky. I glanced across at the window of my motel room. I wasn’t there. I was staring straight at it, but I couldn't see myself. An invisibility and bound spell, very funny, witches. I was gonna wipe them off this plane and the next when I finally caught up to them. A car pulled in next to me. Well, next to my baby. The male driver swung his door open and clipped my impala. Other than the fury at his lack of care, I could feel pain in my side. Pain? I focused on that specific spot on my body. Why did that hurt? He climbed out and closed the door, flicking his jacket out around him, I felt it brush against me. Something sunk in the pit of my stomach. I slowly looked to my reflection once again, the man pulled his bag out of the back seat, clipping my leg. Rather - my back wheel. I wanted to scream, I wanted to run, I wanted to break free. I wanted to do anything. But I couldn't. I was stuck. I was my Impala.

February 25th, 1972: The spell hasn't worn off and I've given up hope. I will forever be a mind inside a car. At the mercy of those inside me. I'd been towed two weeks after first waking up. When no one had claimed me after two months I was put up for sale. Too cheap for a car of my caliber. A greasy man bought me and took me to Rainbow Motors. I've been here for four months, waiting, praying. It felt great when being towed. It was even better when I'd been driven from lot to lot.

April 30th, 1972: A young man came to the lot today, he spent a lot of time looking at me from the corner of his eye. I was begging him to buy me. He looked like he knew how to have fun. But he stayed close by a VW van. Another one sent here by his wife or fiancé, a car ready for kids. Then another man came in. He was around the same age as the VW man, but this one walked straight towards me. He touched my roof with such care. It was a caress, it was as close to love as I could imagine. Human touch was what I'd been craving, and had he stuck the keys in my ignition, I would've purred for him. He introduced himself to the other man and did a fair bit of talking, leading him towards me. They both placed their palms on my bonnet and I almost blew a piston. The man had talked the other into buying me. I was the happiest I'd ever been, except for when I'd bought this car. John, I’d heard him introduce himself, was careful and tender, but as soon as he had me on the open road, he pushed me to my limits, and I strived to go faster for him. It was a Sunday afternoon when John Winchester bought me, and there's not a place I'd rather be.

John Winchester would never know about me, how could he, but he was the first man to ever look at me with love and adoration. It was a simple love, one I could never truly give back, but I definitely tried. I was there when he proposed to Mary. They were in the backseat, keys still in my ignition, I heard him sigh, I heard Mary encourage him, and he finally asked the question. My happiness for them both seemed to ignite a power within me, as they collapsed together, shedding clothes, I heard the radio, Groovin’ on a Sunday afternoon… my favourite song. I'd done that. It went unnoticed, but now I knew I could communicate. I was there for Dean’s birth. I got Mary to the hospital for Sam. I was there to keep them from the cold when Mary died. The first time John left them in the car outside a bar, I found I could lock my doors, forever able to protect them, I'd then lull them to sleep with my song, the only song I could play, Groovin’. Sam even gave me a present, his most prized soldier, I've held onto it ever since. His little fingers buried it deep in the ashtray of my back passenger door. It had become just as much a part of me as Dean’s legos in my air vent. Just as much a part of me as the boys themselves, would one day become.

Hope you’re enjoying so far, Part 2

Tagging: @whispersandwhiskerburn @redlipstickandplaid @impala-dreamer @jalove-wecallhimdean @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @melonberri @percywinchester27 @avasmommy224 @wayward-mirage @waywardjoy @wi-deangirl77 @sdavid09 @ellexirmalfoy @bringmesomepie56 @babypieandwhiskey @kristaparadowski @gabby913 @charliebradbury1104 @blacktithe7 @thegreatficmaster @impala-dreamer @mrswhozeewhatsis @i-like-your-assbutt @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou @chaos-and-the-calm67 @frenchybell @chvalkenberg95 @ackleholic-hunter @green-love-red-fantasyhearts @impalaimagining @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @lucifer-in-leather @manawhaat @nichelle-my-belle @lipstickandwhiskey @grace-for-sale @hasta-impalasta @hideyourdemoneyes @oriona75 @ilostmyshoe-79 @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @kazchester-fanfiction @ellen-reincarnated1967 @beckawinchester @notnaturalanahi @autopistaaningunaparte  @mogaruke @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @wheresthekillswitch @fandoms-are-the-best-escape @fandom-queen-of-the-world @munlis @iwriteaboutdean @purgatoan @clairese1980 @jensen-jarpad @ruprecht0420 @dancingalone21

[charmingpplincardigans]

get to know me

@interropunct tagged me in a thing! (They also sent me an ask eight hundred years ago about the Gangsey and the Bat family which has caused many thoughtful conversations and one grave disagreement amongst my friends group and no actual answer to the question. I’m sorry I’m the worst, I think about this all the time now and don’t even think you need the answer anymore. /o\)

Rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Relationship status: Not single! Which feels weird to say, even though I’ve spent a great deal more of my life as not single than single, it’s been a while. I’m sort of seeing this girl? I don’t know how to date and I don’t understand people liking me and it’s all very stressful in a very one-sided none-of-this-is-her-fault-she’s-great sort of way. 

Pets: No pets! We’re actually not allowed to have them per the lease, but I’m pretty sure I could get a hedgehog and the landlords (a lovely old Irish couple who only come when absolutely necessary) would never know, so it’s something I seriously consider.

Last song I listened to:  Our Lady Peace - Where Are You

Hey you, Have you got everything you want? Or do you want more than you got? Is it different now? Is it different tonight? Or did Jesus get it right? Or is the devil behind the light? Are you happy now? Are you happy?

Favourite tv show: I don’t know! There have been so many! I watch Band of Brothers through once a year, because I like sadness and all of their dumb faces. 

I think my favorite of the current crop of shows is Supergirl. Kara is an actual ray of sunshine in a cardigan. I love the build of Alex and Maggie’s relationship. It’s been beautiful and relateable. I love everything about Hoechlin as Supes, in spite of having no feelings about Hoechlin and only minor feelings about Supes up to this point. Cat Grant is a gift. M’GANN (HELLO, MEGAN!)! J’ONN! JIMMY OLSON WHOM I LOVE! WINN! LENA LUTHOR WHO BITES HER LIP WHEN SHE LOOKS AT KARA IN A TOTALLY HETERO WAY. MON-EL, WHO I THINK THEY MIGHT TURN INTO SUPERBOY INSTEAD OF GIVING ME A KON, BUT FINE, I GUESS. I WILL TAKE IT BECAUSE THIS SHOW IS SO BRIGHT AND HOPEFUL AND HAPPY AND FUNNY AND MADE OF WONDERFUL SMALL FAMILY MOMENTS AMONG THE FIGHTING BITS AND I JUST!!!!!!

*cough*

First fandom: Harry Potter. I got into the books (and fandom obvs) late, just as the fifth book came out. So I read through all of them in a week or so and finished the fifth book at like two in the morning and immediately got onto the computer and googled Sirius Black because I NEEDED more of him in my life. I was so distraught oh my god. From there I found a fan board called Immeritus where I was introduced to both fandom and people I have had adventures with and still talk to to this day. I sort of envy all of my friends their ‘as a teenager in fandom’ stories, because I love fandom so much and the people I meet through it have absolutely shaped my life for the better and I can’t even imagine how I would be different if I’d found these communities sooner.

(A literal conversation we had New Year’s Day:

My friends: *recounting fandom and aol chat board wars*

Me: ClubSI used to attack the VW Vortex and vice versa...

Jesus, save us all from the fic I write where Ronan gets sucked into internet car forums while the others are away.)

Hobbies: Writing, being frustrated by my writing, wistfully wishing I went to more concerts, collaging my feelings, adding songs to the gay cyberpunk playlist on spotify, trying to find decent pizza in Boston, shouting at my friends about YOI, forming new anxieties for my old anxieties to have so they’re not lonely.

Tagging: @bronanlynch, @katsuklyuuri, @zeegoesthere, @bipolarmercutio, @knight-tracer, @anorable, @tillthendoftheline, @hanthenerfherder, and @faerielament! (It’s okay if you don’t want to, or if you’ve already done it and I missed it.)

[bike42]

Paris. September 5-11, 2019

Thursday September 5, 2019

Not my “usual” kind of adventure, but I’m traveling to Paris / London to celebrate Bailey’s 30th birthday. Her birthday isn’t until November 22nd, but I thought the weather would be better in September (I decided that when Jeff and I were in Paris in the rain/cold in May).

We left Madison about noon yesterday, had a layover in Detroit (nachos and beer at the bar there), and then an uneventful flight over the pond, even in coach! I watched the three episodes of season 2 of “Big Little Lies,” then we both watched “Crazy Rich Asians,” before I tried unsuccessfully to sleep. Ended up just playing Black Jack through breakfast until we landed, just after 7am local time (7 hours ahead). It doesn’t help me with jet lag to think about what time it is at home!

I think because of construction, we off loaded down the stairs (like the Caribbean) and onto buses, which dropped us off at the terminal where we were directed up the stairs and into a long queue for border control. We had about the same wait as when we left Paris last May (>1 hour!). From there to baggage claim where our bags had arrived earlier and were just sitting there - yikes! From there, we began the long walk/escalator trip to the train. I’d done this before, but in my research last week I found a guy who’d posted the whole experience step by step with photos, so having just viewed that, and following the words “to the train” in English made it easy! Some issues with the kiosk to get tickets, but Bailey figured that out. Then down to the platform and to the train. We picked one with lots of stops, but through Gare du Nord with no issues and 2 stops later we got off at the station in the Latin Quarter, just 600m from our hotel.

It was a beautiful day, and we rolled our bags up and down Rue des Écoles a bit until we got oriented enough to figure out the numbers (normal anywhere). We got to our hotel just after 10:30am, not expecting to check in, but delighted when we were able to!

We got settled in our little room (emphasis on little - especially the shower!), the the beds were just too inviting. 90 minute naps, and while we were still groggy, we hauled ourselves out onto the street. Amazing location!

We walked just two blocks and came upon a little market, and stopped in a cafe. Bailey got her first crack at ordering from the menu. She learned she doesn’t like “cafe americano,” she needs to order cafe creme, and her Mac and cheese with salmon was a bit too fishy for her. I had an omelet with salad and fries, and black coffee the way I like it!

With full bellies, we set off, just two more blocks and we were at the Seine, gazing out at what was left of Notre-Dame after the fire last spring. I had to pull a photo up on my phone to compare what it had looked like. The roof and the spire are gone. What’s most striking however is the scaffolding. What remains is the scaffolding that was there for the repairs that started the fire. We learned later that the heat of the fire fused it together and the immediate challenge is what to do with it! The whole block is cordoned off, so it’s best viewed from the left bank of the river.

From there, we continued our stroll along the Seine. Bailey was intrigued with the “Left Bank booksellers,” just like I always am. Good to have a fellow traveler that doesn’t mind poking around like that! We crossed the Pont Neuf and headed towards the Louvre. Initially we set out just to see that, and then we were going to turn back. But the closer we got to things, the more excited Bailey was to see everything, so we just kept going! When we saw the Eiffel Tower in the distance, she wanted to make a beeline for that! I told her it was further than it looked, but she was determined. We walked there and back! I’d changed into tennis shoes, but she was in sandals and got a big blister on the bottom of her foot (didn’t complain though!).

We strolled back along Boulevard St Germaine and stopped at a Brasserie to recharge, with salads, water and wine. Then an easy walk back where we collapsed into bed. Walked over 12 miles today!

Friday September 6, 2019

I’d pre-booked an excursion for us today, not really considering jet lag. We fell asleep easily, but up at midnight, 1am, 2am, etc. Alarm went off at 6, and of course I was sleeping then! We got up and we were back on the street before 7am. Grabbed a coffee and croissants from Starbucks and headed down into the metro station, emerging near the Eiffel Tour about 20 minutes later. Quick walk to the tour office helped us wake up, and we arrived with lots of time to spare and browse the brochures to see what else we might want to do this week. I’d booked this excursion online through Viator and it worked great.

Soon our guide, Mechell, arrived and we headed off to the van, with 4 folks (sisters and husbands) from St Louis and another couple from Ohio. All the folks awaiting various were older (70s), not a lot of families traveling right now. We loaded into a VW van and headed out towards Giverny and Monet’s garden. Mechell was a great guide, talking about French history and art, and pointing out sites along the way. We approached through the back country, little farming villages a lot like what we’ve cycled through in Europe. We didn’t go through Vernon or see the river, soon we were just in the familiar parking lot.

We arrived about 9:30am and there was practically no one there yet. We quickly viewed the house and used the bathroom (Bailey for the first time saw that “no squatting on the toilet” sign) and then crowds started to descend. We enjoyed the gardens, shopped a bit, and still had 30 minutes to explore the little artist village. We walked to the church when Monet and his family are buried before walking back and joining the group.

Back in the van for about 15 minutes, then we arrived at our lunch stop. I thought lunch might be a sandwich and coke somewhere, but it was a three course lunch with wine. Beautiful venue, along a little stream and a house that had been a mill. Great food and conversation with our delightful little group (Bailey may not have been the most excited, but as for random trip mates, these were great).

Back in the van, and in about 30 minutes more we were arriving at Versailles. It was a beautiful day and I was glad to learn we were able to tour the garden too. Mechell had left us on our own at Monet’s, but she was our guide at Versailles, first in the garden and then all through the palace. This was my 4th time here, and I hadn’t seen it this sparsely crowded - some bottlenecks here and there, but not too bad. I had forgotten how extensive the garden is, what we saw just barely scratched the surface.

Back in the van, and Mechell was willing to drop us wherever, so we had her drop us near the Galleria Lafayette to do some shopping. The crowds and size of the store overwhelmed Bailey a bit, so we bagged the idea of shopping and started walking back towards our part of Paris, deciding we’d find dinner on our way.

We decided to stop at an Italian restaurant. I screwed up my salad order (octopus!), but we also had a nice bottle of Chianti, a pizza and Bailey had pretty standard looking spaghetti with meat sauce. It was a fun scene to watch - people parading by on the street. Towards the end of our meal, light rain started! I put up my umbrella, rather than trying to move inside. It was quick light rain anyway.

We wandered through neighborhoods a bit as we snaked our way back; lots of action being Friday night!

Super exhausted again as we fell into our beds.

Saturday September 7, 2019

We slept in this morning and missed breakfast, but found a cafe on the river where we could still get omelets.

Last night I bought 2 day passes for the Hop On Hop Off Big Bus, which had a stop right outside our cafe. Before boarding, we also bought tickets for the night ride for this evening.

We rode the bus along the Seine, up and down the Champs-Elysees, getting off in front of the Grand Palais. From there, we walk through the Jardins des Champs-Elysees and around the Place de la Concorde, working our way over towards the opera where we jumped on the Big Bus blue line up to Montmartre. We rode through Pigalle and past Moulin Rouge, getting off near Square Louise-Michel and walking the steps up to Sacre-Couer.

It was very crowded with folks just hanging out on the steps, eating picnics and enjoying the day. We saw our first “yellow vest protest,” and while they had some signs, it looked more like a family picnic. We hung out for a bit just watching people and chilling out.

I remembered when I was here long ago, we’d walked though an area where artists were painting and selling their work. We cut to the right and came to a beautiful square where we saw exactly that. Many doing charachtures or portraits on the spot, but some other really good painters. Felt right to see that happening in Paris!

Back on the bus, Saturday evening traffic was crazy so it took quite awhile to get back to the opera stop, but it’s always so enlightening to view the city from the top of the open air bus. I’d seen this before, but it’s so funny to transition from Pigalle and the sex shops to just around the corner and there is a block of wedding dress shops!

Back to the opera stop, then we walked down to the Louvre and took a right, all the way through the gardens to the Champs-Elysees. Lots of families out enjoying the gorgeous evening.

We had about 2 hours before the 9pm night bus tour, so we settled in at the Pierre Hermès cafe that was part of the L’Occitane store for a great dinner and bottle of wine. Only negative part was being surrounded by cigarette smokers, but we were having dinner outside on the Champs-Elysees!

Boarded our bus and got great seats on top for the 2+ hour after dark trip. It got cooler as the night went on, and by the time we stopped to see the Eiffel Tower light show from the Trocadero, we were ready to be done. Unfortunately the tour also ended at the top of the Champs-Elysees, 3 miles from our hotel. Given the late hour, we walked down to the end of the boulevard and hailed an Uber - easy way to get back to our hotel about midnight!

Sunday September 8, 2019

As we boarded our bus yesterday, we were told there would be a route “disruption” today due to the women’s race (we’d seen the setup for it on Friday by the Eiffel Tower). Good excuse to be pokey ourselves.

I got tickets for a 12:30pm climb to the second tier of the tower, so we had our Starbucks breakfast and jumped on the metro. When we got out, we could hear the excitement of the “La Parisienne” run - might have been a breast cancer run, reputed to have 1000 musicians along the 7km course! We walked along the course for quite a ways, finally found a space where we could dart through the runners and get to the inside for our tower climb.

We got into the now secured area under the Eiffel Tower a bit early. As we climbed to the first tier, I had a minor panic attack, not being a fan of heights. I looked down to see how high we were, and up to see how far we had to go yet, and thought about what this tower was made of and how old it was. Then I just rationalized that today was probably not the day it was going down and kept plugging along. It was a beautiful view, and fun to see the race going on all around us below.

We walked all around the first tier, then climbed the stairs to the second tier, and the view was even more spectacular. Didn’t dally there though, and we had to walk back down and catch the elevator down from the first level. Good tour and I’m glad we did it.

The streets were still blocked because of the run, so we had some time until the buses would be running again. We got crepes and a bottle of water and sat by the Seine for a bit, then decided to walk over and check out the Trocadero and it’s fountains. Windy day, so the fountains felt like rain.

We got to the top, and saw our Big Bus there, so we got on board to finish the tour of the red route. From nowhere, we had a few raindrops and they handed out free plastic ponchos so we put those on and stayed on top. Most of the tour we were already quite familiar with, but we stayed onboard to see what they’d say anyway. Disappointing that 6 months after the fire, they hadn’t changed the language about touring Norte-Dame and they still talk about climbing the tower, etc.

We continued the ride and got off at the top of the Champs-Elysees, and walked through the tunnel under the round about, coming out at the Arc de Triomphe. It was chilly and very windy, and they had much of it blocked off. We took a quick gander and enjoyed watching the traffic spin around. We noticed a bike event, where about a 100 riders wearing the same jersey were huddled with bikes and support vehicles, but couldn’t tell what it was from across the street.

We headed back through the tunnel, and then saw a few riders walking towards us, while the others had crossed the Champs-Elysees and were now mulling around along with the French police. Their jerseys said “Bike to Paris” and they appeared to be a Legion group from the UK. The police stopped traffic on the roundabout, and led them across to the Arc - much horn beeping from the stopped traffic, that I don’t think was of the supportive nature!

We got back on the Big Bus, and spun around the Arc again - should have gone back over to check out what ever kind of ceremony was happening!

Rode just down to the next stop at Petite Palace, then walked across the river to the Orsay museum. I’d been there before, but was happy to go back. The Orsay is a renovated train depot that hosts the paintings of the impressionists Monet and Renoir, Van Gogh, Degas as well as many sculptures. The building itself is a work of art! It closed at 6pm, but we entered at about 4:45pm without much wait, and we were able to kick it into turbo to see most of the paintings and enjoy the amazing building.

Afterwards we walked back to the Latin Quarter, and stopped at an Italian restaurant where we enjoyed salad, pizza and maybe too much wine.

Monday September 9, 2019

Everyone knows that the Louvre is closed on Tuesdays, so I’d bought us Monday tickets in advance, which is actually a smooth easy process!

We had breakfast at a nearby cafe, then strolled an easy walk to the Louvre and got in a bit early actually. We rented headphones and set out for the self guided tour. We stumbled upon all we wanted to see, and at the winged victory sculpture I recalled how to get to the Mona Lisa from there, so we followed the crowd that seemed to be heading there. Much to all of our dismay (tour guides too), she’d been moved - completely to the other side. We finished off that section, really enjoying some French work by Delaroix that Bailey had studied in art history. Then set off to find ML. Our hunt took us to parts of the Louvre I’d never before been in, and found it quite interesting. At the end, we finally learned that we had to exit back through the pyramid, stand in a separate line and follow that line up escalators to the 4th floor of the Richelieu wing, and there she was. It was a smooth and rather entertaining process actually.

By 3pm, we’d had all we could take. We left and got a sandwich, water and coffee and browsed around in some high end shops before staggering back towards our hotel. We stopped at a brasserie near our hotel and Bailey had a cheeseburger, while I had yummy French onion soup!

Tuesday September 10, 2019

Last full day in Paris. Started our day with Starbucks and the metro again to get over to the Eiffel Tower neighborhood. We walked through the Rue Clar markets, was fun to recall being here for several fun dinners with JT and mom & dad 4 years ago. Also saw flower shops that looked like they had flowers direct from the warehouse we saw in Holland last year!

We went to the Invalides, which is a collection of military museums, a veterans hospital (past and current), and a cathedral with Napoleon’s tomb. Jeff and I had been here before, but most of what we saw today was new to me. Most amazing was the Musée DeL’Ordre De La Liberation, which told the story of resistance workers during WWII, both the resistance effort, and the deportation to concentration camps for those who were found out. I’ve been to Dachau and the Holocaust museum, but this display was very different. Though few likely survived, this display showed their resistance side, a resourcefulness versus being victims, even after they were captured. Most haunting where the sketches of fellow prisoners, with dates and locations. There was also a handmade set of playing cards and a little domino set made out of clay.

After several hours, we grabbed a sandwich in the cafe, then took a walk over to the Rodin house and garden. This was also new to me and I enjoyed it, plus it was a spectacular day to be outside today! The house is an amazing early 18th century mansion, and Rodin started by renting rooms there for his workshop, and ended up with the whole thing (which he donated along with many castings of his works). As a lover of art, he also has a few Van Gogh and Monet paintings in his collection!

By 5p we were thoroughly exhausted, 6 days of walking over 10 miles per day (many of those at a killer shuffling pace). I had all I could do to make it back to the Latin Quarter (so tempting to jump on a bike or electric scooter and fly back). We found another Italian restaurant and enjoyed salad, pasta, pizza and a bottle of wine.

Back early to shower and organize our stuff. Early train to London tomorrow!