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yeah-klave · 4 years

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Love Batter

Summary: Klaus comes home early and catches Dave up to something in the kitchen.

Genre: Pure, tooth rotting fluff.

A/N: This is set in a Dave Didn’t Die AU. He and Klaus made it back to 2019 (somehow) where they’re now living happily ever after.

Word length: 2.6k

Warning: Some light innuendo.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of The Umbrella Academy characters or settings.

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“Oh, umm.”

Klaus closed the front door quietly and stood for a second in the hallway, head on one side, listening.

“Umm… yes.”

Klaus frowned. He heard the smacking of lips, shortly followed by another low groan.

“Yes. That’s good. There we go…”

He could hear movement in the direction of the kitchen. Suddenly, the tone of the noise changed.

“Oh, no! Don’t do that! Oh dear. Oh, that’s not good.”

There was a clatter and then muffled grumbling.

“Oh, no. Why can’t you just…?” There was another clatter. “Oh, oops, oh no! Don’t...”

There was a dull thunk, and Klaus heard Dave say, “owch.”

Klaus dropped his keys in the bowl and walked down the hallway to their kitchen.

He pushed the door open and stopped in the entrance, his eyebrows shooting up.

Dave froze in place. He looked up guiltily, eyes wide, a finger in his mouth and his other hand clutching his foot. He was also wearing a frilly apron.

Dave brought the finger out of his mouth with a wet pop. “I… I… I thought you said you were going to be back late tonight?!” he spluttered.

“I did,” Klaus said bemused.

“But, but…” Still balancing on one foot, Dave waved his free arm wildly. Something gloopy flicked off a finger and landed somewhere near the toaster. “But this isn’t late at all!” he finally said, the tiniest hint of accusation behind the words.

“Allison had to cancel,” Klaus said evenly. “I did text you. But maybe you didn’t notice. I mean, it looks like you’ve been a little busy in here.” He looked around the kitchen, taking in the full scene. “Daaaaavve,” he said finally in a light, sing-song voice, the corner of his mouth curling upwards, a gleeful twinkle in his eyes, “whatcha doin’?”

Dave deflated a little. He let go of his foot and looked glumly at the chaos surrounding him.

“I was,” he started sheepishly, purposefully not catching Klaus’ eye. “I was trying to bake you a cake.”

Klaus’ face lit up even brighter. “Really?!”

“Yeah,” Dave nodded, twisting his face into a rueful grimace. “A surprise cake for your birthday tomorrow. I thought I could make it tonight while you were out and hide it in a cupboard overnight and surprise you in the morning.”

Klaus’ heart clenched and he looked at Dave fondly. “My darling, dearest Dave,” Klaus gently teased, “light of my life, fire of my loins,” he broke off and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Even if Allison hadn’t cancelled, I’d have been back in an hour or so anyway. Did you really think you could finish up and then get our kitchen looking normal again by the time I got back?”

They both looked around. Dirty bowls were strewn across the counters, along with various utensils, eggs shells and empty packets. Cake pans were discarded near the hob, a brown, baked-on crust coating the inside. There was a palette knife on the floor, gloopy icing dripping from the flat blade into a small puddle. Also, a layer of flour and icing sugar seemed to have settled over everything.

“Hmm,” Dave said in a mock solemn voice. “I take your point.”

Klaus laughed.

Dave bent down and picked up a cookery book that was splayed open, upside-down, by his bare feet. Dave’s fingers left sticky marks on the cover as he tried shuffling things around on the counter, looking for somewhere clean to lay it down.

Klaus stepped forwards and took the book from Dave. It was surprisingly heavy in Klaus’ hands. “Did this drop on your foot?” Klaus asked quietly.

“Um, yeah,” Dave reluctantly admitted.

Klaus looked down at the book. His nostrils flared and he suddenly felt an irrational wave of anger wash over him.

“Right,” he said with a hiss, baring his teeth, “well that settles it.” He held the book between a pinched finger and thumb and unceremoniously dropped it in the trash can.

“Klaus!” Dave said shocked.

“It hurt you,” Klaus said simply. “It has no place in our home anymore.”

Dave’s face softened in fond bemusement. Klaus watched his eyebrows crinkle together as he gave an exasperated little shake of his head.

“You know I’m just going to have to go digging though the trash to rescue that now?” His words had no bite.

“Don’t you dare!” Klaus looked scandalised. “It’s dead to me now. Goodbye evil instrument of pain…” He waved his Goodbye hand at the bin, but then looked back up at Dave and grinned.

“You really are something else,” Dave said fondly.

Klaus’ eyes twinkled and he reached out and traced a finger over Dave’s cheek, following a gloopy smear of pink icing.

“Well, sorry to break it to you, but right now, Mr Katz,” he said, “so are you.”

Klaus trailed his eyes down Dave’s body, taking in the floury handprints and unidentifiable smears that covered his clothes. Something pale brown and gloopy was drying in crusty matted clumps in his gloriously mussed curls.

Klaus reached up and tried to pull a bit of the stuff out of Dave’s hair. He raised a questioning eyebrow at his boyfriend.

“Oh, yeah,” Dave said. “I forgot about that.” He glanced up and Klaus followed his gaze to where splattered streaks of cake batter formed a modern art masterpiece on the white paint of their kitchen ceiling.

“How…?” Klaus started.

“I tried to use that mixer Vanya gave us,” Dave explained. “But I guess I didn’t fix the lid on properly.”

Klaus looked around the kitchen again. “What’s that?” he said, pointing at a couple of thin, dense-looking – vaguely cake-shaped – disks, half hidden under an empty bag of flour.

“Oh, that was my first attempt,” Dave grimaced again. “Back when I had high expectations. Apparently there is a difference between plain and self-raising flour.”

“Think the clue’s in the name, babe,” Klaus smiled.

Dave huffed. “I can follow a recipe,” he said indignantly, “but I just forgot about the flour thing.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair in frustration. “I just wanted to get it right.”

“And did you?” Klaus asked.

“Yes!” Dave nodded vigorously, a little shower of flower falling onto his broad shoulders. But then he paused and pulled a face. “Well,” he clarified, “the cake worked okay… eventually.” He looked over his shoulder and then back to Klaus. “The decorating part, not so much though,” he admitted. He scrunched his nose, contorting his face into an expression of dejected disappointment. Klaus thought he looked positively adorable.

“Can I see?”

“Well, the surprise is ruined now, so might as well,” Dave sighed. He stepped away from the counter, revealing the thing behind him that had previously been shielded by his body.

Klaus looked down. “It’s brilliant,” he said automatically. Then, after a beat, he added gently, “what is it?”

Dave grimaced and scrubbed a hand over his face, but when he brought it down, he was smiling.

“That bad, huh?” he said.

“No,” Klaus corrected himself quickly. “I mean, it looks great! I can see you’ve clearly put a lot of effort into this. I was just wondering…” he paused, “well, it’s very... I was just wondering what the thinking behind it was?”

“I know you never had your own birthday cake,” Dave said slowly. “Because you and your siblings all had the same birthday. I remember you saying Grace used to make one big cake for you all to share. But it’s not like having your own cake, just for you, with your name on it.”

Klaus’ eyes scanned Dave’s face. Dave was determinedly looking at the cake in front of him. Klaus reached over and took hold of his hand – his sticky, messy hand – and squeezed. The corner of Dave’s mouth twitched in a smile and he shook himself slightly.

“So that’s what I tried to do,” Dave carried on, “make you your own cake. Because you deserve a cake of your own, with only your name on it.”

“Is that what’s going on here?” Klaus pointed to an amorphous smear of blue icing that was bleeding into the runny pink icing underneath and then dribbling off the edges and pooling on the plate below.

“Yeah,” Dave sighed. “It was supposed to say Happy Birthday Klaus.”

“Thank you,” Klaus said, squeezing Dave’s hand again. “It’s perfect.”

Dave snorted. “Hardly!” he said. “In hindsight, I think I should have waited for the cake to cool down before trying to ice it. Plus, I think this icing is too runny.”

“No,” Klaus said firmly. “It’s perfect.”

Dave raised an eyebrow. “Klaus,” he said firmly, “you don’t need to humour me. I know it’s pants. I’ve seen how well your cakes turn out and this – most definitely – is nothing like them.”

Klaus frowned. “Firstly,” he said, “you grew up in the 50s! I hardly think it was part of the curriculum. Secondly, you’ve met my mom! There’s no way she wasn’t going to make sure all her kids could bake a mean sponge cake! And thirdly – now brace yourself, because this is going to be as corny as the corniest corn bread – Grace also taught us that the most important ingredient in any great bake is the love you stir in along the way.” Klaus looked down, ran a finger through the dribbled icing, brought it up to his mouth and then licked it off his finger, maintaining eye contact with Dave the whole time. “And it’s clear that this cake, Dave, is positively overflowing with that. So, on that logic, this is the best cake that’s ever been baked.”

Dave’s eyes got a little glossy and he pulled Klaus into his arms, burying his face into the crook of Klaus’ neck.

“I love you,” Dave said. It sounded thick and muffled.

“That’s because I’m so damn lovable,” Klaus joked, running his fingers through Dave’s hair. “At least, that’s the overwhelming feedback I’ve got so far from all the people in my life. Oh, no, wait…” Klaus trailed off, grinning.

Dave pulled back, his hands resting on Klaus’ hips. “Well, I find it exceedingly easy.”

Klaus smiled. He reached up, wiped another smear of icing from Dave’s cheek with his thumb then leaned forwards and kissed the tip of his nose.

Dave blinked and looked down at himself again, then at the flour and sticky streaks he had transferred to Klaus’ clothes during their hug.

“Oh dear,” he said, trying to pull away “I’m sorry, baby, I’ve messed up your outfit.”

“I don’t care,” Klaus replied, pulling him back fiercely. “Do you hear me? I don’t care.” He rested his hands on Dave’s chest, his fingers playing with the collar of his soft tee. “And for the record,” he added, “I never want to hear anyone calling my special, surprise birthday cake pants ever again. My boyfriend made me that and I love it,” he nuzzled the tips of their noses together. “I love every sticky inch of it.” He kissed the frown lines between Dave’s eyes, “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“You still talking about the cake?” Dave asked, his thumbs gently stroking over the strip of exposed skin at Klaus’ waist, his mouth curling up in a smile.

“I can’t imagine what you mean!” Klaus’ eyes twinkled.

Dave grinned and caught Klaus’ mouth in a kiss, a sweet press of slightly parted lips.

Klaus let out a sigh and pressed forwards, their lips moving in a lazy slide. They broke apart, resting their foreheads together and took a moment, just holding each other and breathing the same air.

“Well,” Klaus said, his lips brushing Dave’s as he spoke. “I think we both know what we need to do now.”

“Umm,” Dave hummed his agreement. He paused, then added, “I’ll fill the sink.”

“Good idea,” Klaus grinned. “I’ll grab a tea-towel.”

Dave huffed a laugh and pulled back, grinning. Then he turned to start filling the washing-up bowl with hot soapy water.

Klaus reached up and, with practiced ease, twisted his hair into a loose bun on the top of his head, securing it with a black glittery scrunchie from his wrist. He flicked the radio on and the room was filled with the soft sound of something light and boppy. Klaus flashed a smile and started dancing around the room, collecting the dirty bowls and utensils between enthusiastic little shimmies and finally stacking them in a pile next to the sink.

Standing shoulder to shoulder, laughing and chatting – Dave elbow deep in sudsy water and Klaus drying the items and placing them on the draining board – they were the very picture of pure domestic bliss.

****************************************************************

“And you’re sure I can’t just use the mop?” Klaus squinted at the ceiling.

“Yes, sugarplum, I’m sure,” Dave looked over at him fondly from where he was putting the cutlery back in the drawer. “As is undoubtedly clear from the way I butchered that cake, I’m hardly a domestic goddess. But even I know you shouldn’t mop your ceiling. I’ll pick up some stepladders from the store tomorrow.”

“Or,” Klaus said, “I could just ask Luther to do it. What’s the point of having a giant for a brother if you can’t ask him to clean cake batter from your ceiling every now and again?”

“A completely normal sentence,” Dave said with a grin. Klaus rolled his eyes.

Dave wandered over to the counter and looked down at the cake.

“I’ll just bin this,” he said.

“What?! No!” Klaus said shocked, hopping down from the counter he’d been sitting on and trotting over to Dave. “Don’t throw away my cake!”

Dave suppressed a little smile, looking down at the sticky mess. “Don’t worry, pumpkin, the love-cake speech was very much appreciated. I got the message loud and clear. But you don’t actually have to eat this, you know.”

But when he looked up, Klaus was already holding out two plates and a knife.

“I’m selfish and impatient and can’t wait until tomorrow,” Klaus said.

Dave snorted, but moved aside.

“Make a wish,” Dave said, as Klaus cut two large slices. Klaus turned his face away slightly, smiling to himself. Dave wasn’t entirely sure, but he though he heard Klaus whisper, “No point, I already have him.”

They took their cake and a couple of forks into the living room and settled onto the sofa, their knees touching.

“Ummm,” Klaus hummed, his mouth full. “This is amazing.”

Dave took a careful bite, considering. “I guess it doesn’t taste too bad,” he said.

Klaus sprayed a mouthful of crumbs in his haste to reply, “It tastes so good!”

He swallowed and added with a grin, “One thing I still want to know, though, is why you decided to do all of this while wearing the apron from my sexy maid costume?”

Dave looked at Klaus and deadpanned, “Well, knowing what that costume’s been through, I didn’t think it would matter if I got a little more love batter on it.” Then he winked.

Klaus let out a cackle of laughter, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

Klaus looked over at Dave slumped next to him. Tired and dishevelled and warm and happy and alive. And his.

“Like I said before,” Klaus declared in the most dignified voice he could, while simultaneously trying to lick icing out of his beard. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Dave looked back at Klaus fondly, a smile playing around the corner of his mouth, and replied, simply, “I wouldn’t have my cake any other way either.”

#klave #klaus hargreeves #dave katz #the umbrella academy #tua #klaus/dave #klaus x dave

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bumbleberrysky · 4 years

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alexa, play candyshop (bass boosted) | 02

pairing: gabriel x reader genre: soulmate au, canon divergent around s13, hurt/comfort, humour, future smut (probs) wc: 3.7k rating: sfw warnings: same as before, wounded gabriel & removal of those stitches notes: the fire under my ass burns as strong as ever, hallelujah

You knew there was a reason some divine power brought you to the Winchesters all those years ago, but to this day you still have no idea what that reason is. It’s something you’re destined to find out soon though, especially when you return to the bunker after months away and find not only a new face, but one that belongs to someone who up until that point you’d thought was dead. What does his return have to do with the changes you’re suddenly experiencing in yourself? Will you finally find out the reason you’d been brought here in the first place? Maybe…

Chuck works in mysterious ways after all.

prev. || next

Much to your regret, your plans the next morning to continue being a nuisance to Dean are thrown in the bin at his decision to leave early and meet Castiel somewhere a state over for a case that the angel had found. Something about vamps in a mine or something, you’re a bit hazy on the details. You’d only half-listened when Sam filled you in upon your arrival in the kitchen, a good hour after Dean had already departed the bunker.

While you would like to say Dean is completely to blame, the truth is that once you passed out last night you slept like a log and didn’t wake up until mid-morning today, which classifies as a sleep-in of sorts for you. You love sleep, but your body is wired to wake up not long after sunrise, unfortunately. It’s that hunter lifestyle you love to hate.

Sam had huffed a laugh at your face when you found out you’d missed Dean, but otherwise had kept to himself with his healthy breakfast as you went about making yourself a coffee. You tend to be a bit nauseous in the mornings, so a coffee will be enough for you for a few hours. It’s likely your stomach won’t roar in hunger until a bit after midday, as it is wont to do.

“How is your arm?”

Sam’s question breaks you out of the dissociative state you’d slipped into as you sip your coffee, grip on the mug tightening in reflex. It takes a few blinks before your eyes focus back on him, a small smile on your lips.

“Much better, thank you doctor,” you answer, before mumbling into your coffee as you take another sip. “Despite apparent attempts at making it otherwise…”

Sam snorts, not even bothering to comment on that. “I’m glad. Did you have anything planned for the day?”

A contemplative hum escapes you, your gaze wandering to the ceiling. “No, not really. I kind of went hard for a while there, one case after the other, so I’m due for a break. Not much of a fan of burnout.”

Your eyes move back down, meeting his own. “I’m probably going to just hang back, for a bit. Recuperate. I mean, I didn’t get any injury besides my arm, but I’m just… tired, I suppose. Didn’t get much sleep the past few weeks.”

“Of course you didn’t hurt anything but your arm,” Sam rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his smoothie—you’re not a fan of the green tinge it has, but if he likes it then you suppose it must be alright, at least. “You and your stupid good luck. Dean is still mad about last time, you know. When he got splattered in monster guts that just missed you by a centimetre.”

The memory yanks a giggle out of you before you can stop it, almost spilling your coffee as a result of the abrupt movement. “Oh, that was good. I wish I had a picture so I could scrapbook it.”

Sam laughs around a mouthful of food, swallowing it down before he continues. “Dean would kill you.”

“I know, but it would be worth it.” You place your cup down, deciding it a better course of action than continuing to hold it and risking spillage. “Also, I know you think my luck is really good all the time, but it’s kind of just good occasionally. All other times, it sucks.”

“It kicks in when you hunt, though, so I suppose that’s all that matters,” Sam muses, flicking through an article on his phone somewhat distractedly. He hums to himself before turning the screen off and angling his body to you properly, meeting your questioning gaze.

“I’m… I’m gonna need your help,” he says, appearing somewhat sheepish. “With Gabriel.”

You try not to let your sharp intake of breath show, but from the look that flickers through Sam’s eyes you figure he catches it anyway. Your teeth worry your bottom lip for a moment before you can muster a proper response. “Alright. What are you thinking of doing?”

Sam adjusts once more, pushing his plate away, cutlery stacked on top; it’s only now that you realise he’s finished the meal and the only thing left to consume is his smoothie.

“Well, I’m not… entirely sure yet.”

You huff a laugh, attempting to regain a sense of normalcy. It isn’t that you’d forgotten about the battered archangel hiding in a room a few doors down from yours, but it’s moreso that you’d made it a point not to think about it so early in the morning, lest your mood be ruined for the entire day. Thinking of Gabriel… it kind of hurt. You’re not sure you’re ready to sit down and analyse exactly why you’re having such visceral reactions yet.

“I don’t think we can really plan much, here,” he says, features softening with empathy. It reminds you that when it comes to Hell and being tortured, the youngest Winchester isn’t as unfamiliar as you might hope. A pang of something hits against the confines of your chest at his tone and the passing look in his eyes; as always, there’s the useless feeling, the wish you could take away all the bad memories and experiences and make it all better. You know you can’t, nothing can, but you hate seeing your friends in any modicum of pain.

You suppose that includes Gabriel, if the sensations whirling within you at the thought of him are anything to go by.

“We’ll just have to take it as it comes,” you say, taking your mug into your hold and downing the rest of the drink in one go. “Alright! I’m gonna shower and then… I guess we go see him.”

x x

Unlike the Gabriel you were once so familiar with, this Gabriel is decidedly not fond of visitors.

Sam had gone and prepared some things while you’d showered and dressed, and by the time you reappear outside your room you hear shuffling from the direction of the library. Curious, you make your way down the hall, peeking your head in and blinking in only minor surprise at the sight of Sam, his shoulders heavy.

“What’s up, Sam-o-saurus?”

Sam looks up and gives you the closest approximation to a bitch face that you’ve ever received from him, clearly not fond of the new nickname that came to you on the spot like a divine enlightenment. He takes a moment to close his eyes and breathe, though, which is probably for the best considering your mission for the day. It would do none of you any good if he went near Gabriel while all riled up.

“Gabriel is, uh,” he clears his throat, placing down a sterile steel tray in the shape of a bean and small surgical scissors, along with a scalpel. Your gaze strays to the side and sees that it was the first aid box he’d been ransacking as you arrived. “Not very open to visitation from me right now. I think I might be a bit… bit big. He doesn’t really even see me when he looks at me, so I don’t think he realises who I am.”

You wince, trying not to dwell on the information longer than needed to file it away for later consideration. “Oh. Sorry, Sam. You want me to go see if I can bring him out?”

“Please,” the tall man says, gesturing to the tools on the glossy oak table. “I figured we could start by getting rid of those stitches over his mouth, if nothing else. I don’t think he has enough grace right now to stop infection so we should try and reduce the risk.”

His words sadden you, but you know the truth they hold. Your limbs feel a bit heavy as you push away from the doorway.

“Alright. I’ll be right back.”

Gabriel’s allocated room isn’t all that far from the library, and the note on the door sticks out like a sore thumb so you don’t have to worry much about getting lost on the way (ignoring that at this point you know most parts of the bunker like the back of your hand). Once outside his room, something gives you pause though.

Are you ready to see him in that state again? Or is it that a small, tiny part of you fears he won’t recognise you, either?

Ridiculous of you, really. You take a moment to admonish yourself for the thought. If you take a second to factor in the difference in time spent in hell, even without considering all the time he was missing, Gabriel had to have been trapped and tortured for over a century at the very least. Centuries and years might mean nothing to a celestial being who has been alive for millennia, but over a century of fear and torture is a lot even for someone with such impressive mileage.

You shake your head, attempting to clear your thoughts and emotions so you don’t enter his room with an overwhelming aura. Okay, showtime.

A soft knock echoes as your knuckles meet the wood, a moment passing before you speak, attempting to keep your voice as soft and nonthreatening as possible.

“Gabriel? It’s y/n, I’m going to come in now.”

You allow another moment to pass before you ease the door open, blinking in surprise as your eyes are greeted by light—it seems the archangel has every bulb in the vicinity burning its brightest. Understandable, since you presume he wasn’t exactly kept in well-lit conditions.

For a second, you think he’s not in the room. You don’t see him anywhere, and you’re about a split-second away from turning and calling Sam when you catch a glimpse of something shifting in the corner, behind the bulky side of a wooden dresser. You think for a second that you’ve forgotten how to breathe, chest painfully tight, as you realise that the small form huddled and curled in the corner is, in fact, the archangel Gabriel.

You hate that you’d noticed him only because of the filthy scraps of material that stick out against the dark décor of the bunker.

“Hey, Gabriel,” you say softly, keeping the door open so he has a route of escape and moving over as slowly and cautiously as you can. “I’m just gonna come over and sit in front of you, alright?”

You figure that even if he’s not entirely listening to everything you’re saying, it’s better to announce what you’re doing before you do it, for his benefit.

Something painful ricochets off the inside of your chest as you grow close enough to see him around the dresser and you’re confronted with his beaten, bloody and battered figure once more. His gaze is anywhere but you, and the way he presses himself into the corner is like he’s trying to make himself as small as possible. It takes all of your willpower to squash down the unexpected sob that catches low in your throat. What is wrong with you?! You need to get a grip.

“Oh, Gabriel,” you find yourself saying before you can stop. “I’m so sorry…”

The closer you get to him, the lower you try to make yourself in his peripheral. It wouldn’t do any good to startle him by appearing big and threatening. It makes you frown when you remember just who it is that you have to think this way about. It’s sad, you think. The Gabriel you’d known was prideful, glaringly bright and loud in his presence, both as a trickster and an angel, and that he’d been reduced to… well, to this? It made your chest feel heavy.

Slowly and as quietly as possible, you ease down onto your knees in front of him, doing your best not to rush anything. It’s hard—you’re a hunter, used to moving with speed and a sense of urgency. So to take your time and really be in the moment for each of your actions is definitely an odd change from the usual autopilot your brain resides in.

He doesn’t acknowledge your presence once you’re still in front of him, not really. You had expected as much though, and as much as he seems unresponsive you do see the occasional flick of his eyes in your direction before they dart away, like he couldn’t believe he’d dared to look at someone instead of the floor.

For a few minutes, you simply let him adjust to your presence, your company. Ever so slowly, you see the tiniest bits of tension ease from his shoulders, his eyes no longer darting around like a frantic squirrel. You take the opportunity to take in the wounds and sores littering his body, doing your best not to get too upset by what you see. Dirt and grime coats him in layers, and you mentally note that your next goal with him would be to get him in a damn bath.

It can’t be comfortable, sitting in all that grime…

“For the sake of transparency,” you begin when he seems like he will be open enough to listening. “I’ll tell you why I’m here. This is your space right now, and I don’t want to intrude on it unless I really need to.”

He doesn’t meet your gaze, but you sense you have his attention. “Given that right now you’re low on… strength, and not healing as you usually do, we need to take care of some of the worse wounds you have. If we don’t, it’s a risk of infection, and we don’t know how well you would fight that off in this state…”

You clear your throat, attempting to keep yourself on track. “So, if you’re able, we’d really like you to come out just for a moment, so we can fix up some of your sores. I promise that you can come right back in here afterwards, and that unless we have something really important we’ll leave you alone. Sound good?”

He doesn’t nod, doesn’t really move, but the way his eyes move to yours and hold your gaze for a bare second longer than you expect, you gather he’s not entirely against it. You offer him a smile, oddly proud of him. You’d seen firsthand how hard it can be to get out of these mindsets, even just for a moment. Effort is hard and that he’s making it means everything.

“Perfect,” you say, shifting in your spot so you can stand more easily. “Alright, I can help you up, if you’d like, or you can stand on your own if you want. What do y—”

Your hands had already begun to outstretch as you spoke, and you’re taken by surprise when before you even finish speaking his hand is whipping up to grab your wrist in a sort of monkey grip. You’re left blinking as you help him up, moving on autopilot. You expect him to release you as soon as he’s standing, but it adds to your surprise as he wobbles in place and retains his grip, if anything shuffling a little closer.

“Okay,” you say, angling your body and adjusting your grip so that it’s loose and as nonthreatening as possible. “Let’s go. Thank you for cooperating.”

Of course, there’s no response and he’s silent the whole way to the library. You remember that Sam is in there only as you approach the threshold, but unlike what you feared, Gabriel doesn’t seem to react too poorly to him like he apparently had earlier. Risking a glance his way reveals that actually, amongst the frayed and almost manic energy, he seems oddly… grounded, just for the moment.

Well, this is certainly going better than you’d anticipated.

“I went to bully Dean this morning, but he woke up before me and left before I could get to him.”

You’re in the process of cleaning the wounds around Gabriel’s mouth and removing the ugly stitches that have been sewn into his lips. As something to distract him as much as you from what you’re doing, you’ve begun chatting idly to the archangel, unbothered by the lack of response. Sam sits a metre or so away, researching for Dean who had apparently called earlier when you were coercing Gabriel out of his room.

Still Gabriel doesn’t hold your gaze, eyes averted as he leans forward in the chair for you to reach his mouth, but you can tell from the way his eyes occasionally flick to you as you speak that he is listening, somewhat. It’s enough of a win that you’re willing to take it.

He winces each time your alcohol swab goes over the entry point of a stitch, but doesn’t flinch away too badly. You’re pretty proud of him for that, actually, because it must hurt like a bitch.

“You got him yesterday, though,” Sam pipes in from the side, amused as he recalls your arrival. “Barely an hour after you got here and he was quitting and heading to bed.”

“It’s hard being so naturally talented,” you say, placing the swab down and reaching for the small scissors and tweezers. “I’m an absolute delight, and Dean should appreciate that!”

“Has anyone ever believed you when you told them that?” Sam asks, presumably referring to the ‘delight’ bit.

“Why wouldn’t they, Samuel?” you ask, giving the massive man a light spritz of stink-eye. “Do you have something to say to me?”

“Nothing you don’t already know,” he snorts in response, turning a page in the tome he currently has in his lap.

You bite your lip to hide your amused smile, turning back to Gabriel. You place your hand softly on his cheek to let him know that you’re about to go back in for the stitches, before raising the other tool and bringing it to the first of the thick threads woven through his flesh. Wincing, you try and snip it as delicately as possible. Now seems like a better time than any for more distractions.

“If you think I’m bad, you should be glad you never met my grandfather,” you inform the youngest Winchester, successfully severing the first stitch and beginning the icky job of pulling it out. Gabriel makes a muffled noise of pain but remains still, and you pat his hand softly in support. “He could stir the shit out of anyone, man. Like, I’m not even kidding. The bastard gene I got from him was actually watered down by the time it got to me, so count your lucky stars.”

Sam makes a noise of contemplation, like he really is taking the time to thank whatever powers that be— those apparently being Chuck, as you’ve heard— that you’re not more like your grandfather. Honestly, you’re not kidding—they really should be grateful. You loved your grandpa but you’d never met anyone so quick to stir whatever pot may present itself before them. An opportunist with bastardous tendencies, one might describe him.

In the silence that follows, you jump to another topic for the sake of distraction once more—you’re about to move onto another stitch.

“So, now that your mother is here, are you guys actually eating like normal human beings?” you ask, tongue pressed between your lips in concentration as you try to snip the thread as painlessly as possible by manoeuvring the small scissors. “Like, balanced meals with vegetables and shit?”

You hear Sam pause in the motion of turning a page, a scoff turning into a laugh as it climbs his throat. “What—homecooked meals? Our mom? Dude, she’s worse than Dean in the kitchen, and I really didn’t think that was possible.”

You pause your ministrations to face the tall man, squinting. “What? No way. No way is she worse than Dean—”

“We’ve had to replace the fire alarms twice already,” Sam says, meeting your gaze with a look that is full of both fondness and exasperation. He lets out a laugh at your flabbergasted face. “Dude, I wouldn’t believe it either if I hadn’t seen it for myself. You’ll see, whenever she gets back with Jack. She can’t cook but it doesn’t really stop her trying.”

“Another terrible chef joins the ranks,” you proclaim dramatically, pulling the stitch you were working on out and going in on the next one. “Oh, to be able to cook. I suppose this Jack kid is our last hope.”

“He’s not even a year old, y/n,” Sam says, deadpan. “I wouldn’t count on it. Also, you can cook, you’re just lazy.”

You shrug, making a face; he has you there. “I will neither confirm nor deny these allegations.”

Once more, you feel Sam roll his eyes behind you—he should get that checked if he’s rolling them so heavily you can feel it yourself. They’re not even eyes that are in your own skull, man.

You proceed to pull shit out of your ass as you take Gabriel’s mouth stitches out, the metal tin to the side soon filled with scraps of thick thread covered in dried blood and muck. The exit wounds where the thread had been have begun to well with blood, the wounds agitated by the removal of the stitches, and you bring a new cotton pad back with alcohol to clean them up. Gabriel hisses at the contact, and you rush out apologies under your breath as you finish up. You’d forgotten to warn him, and it’s only something small but you still feel bad.

“Alright, that’s done,” you announce, mostly to yourself. You look over him, deciding which wound to treat next, when your attention is drawn to the way he seems to be shaking a little on the spot. He’s not as grounded as he was earlier when he sat down with you, and even though you have much more work to do you can tell intrinsically that this is the most he can take right now. Dressing his other wounds would have to wait until tomorrow.

You turn to find Sam already giving the archangel a scrutinising look, apparently arriving at the same conclusion you had. He gives you a nod and you let out a soft breath, turning back to Gabriel and offering your hands should he need them.

“Okay, I think that’s enough for today. Let’s get you back to the room.”

You can only hope tomorrow will offer the same amount of progress as today.

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#supernatural gabriel #supernatural #supernatural fic #gabriel x reader #supernatural gabriel x reader #gabriel x you #supernatural gabriel x you #supernatural soulmate au #soulmate au #my work #alexa play candyshop #spn fic #spn gabriel #gabriel fic #gabriel series #gabriel fanfic #supernatural series #wing fic

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that-one-girl-behind-you · 3 years

Text

Illicio 22/?

Part 21

CW: apocalypse terribleness, JGM under duress, etc

He's free now, he knows.

In this new world ruled by the Watcher, his ultimate 'prize' is to not be tied to Jon anymore. There's a place with his name on it, just like Martin said. There, he could thrive, an eternal existence as a reward for- for pushing Jon towards this.

Gertrude's eyes blink accusingly at him from where he remembers planting the carrots, and Gerry scoffs.

"Of course I'm not going to. Don't be an idiot." Gerry rolls his eyes. There just. There has to be a way to reverse it, no matter-

'No. I don’t think so. Once an Entity fully manifested, I doubt it would be keen to fully relinquish its grip on reality. And as for those unlucky enough to survive its rule… I don’t think they’d be in a state to do anything about it.'

Gerry sighs. Ever the optimist, the old hag.

He feels the cabin creaking and shifting, feasting on the sorrow that thinking of Gertrude brings him, even after years and deceptions.

XXII

Click.

"It can't be as bad as it looks. Nothing could be this bad." There's humour in the man's voice, a sort of fond amusement as he enunciates the words, the beginning of a joke.

"I think we might be looking at different Archives, Tim." The answering voice is dry and unenthusiastic, but the first man chuckles like it's the punchline to his setup.

"There's three of us, we'll figure it out." Some fabric rustles, a disgruntled huff, another chuckle. "Let's go, Sasha should be done already, we said we'd go get drinks."

A long-suffering sigh. "If you insist."

"I do! It's the last time we're going out as coworkers, Boss."

"I'd say this is your last chance to get in my hair, if I didn't know better." Steps growing fainter, as the speakers walk away.

"But you do know better."

Another sigh, a lot less long-suffering, and a lot more amused. "I do."

Click.

-------------------------------------

"We need to get going," Martin says. It feels like the thousandth time he's said it, and maybe it is. Time feels... weird, lately, and memory much more so.

"I'm..." Gerry sighs, also for what feels like thousandth time. "You're not wrong."

"Of course I'm not." Martin crosses his arms over his chest. Gerry's eyes -they look dangerously bright lately, but Martin doesn't fear them as much as he fears the sad, unspoken truth they carry- are searching for his, and for all that Martin tries to stand strong, he gives in eventually, and goes to sit by his side with a tired sigh of his own. "I know, I know."

"You do?" Gerry comes to rest heavily against his side, and after a couple moments, Martin drapes an arm around his shoulders. It's- it's not Gerry's fault, he thinks. It's not anyone's fault. "It's someone's fault."

"Well, yes. Elias', but still-" Martin lets out a low exhale. "I should have done it."

"If you're going to blame yourelf-" Gerry nudges his leg with his knee, "-you'd be good blaming me as well. Blaming Jon."

"Why would I blame you?" Martin asks dryly. "You were going to kill him when I couldn't. You would've done it."

"Yes, to keep you safe." Gerry shrugs. "Not wanting to kill a man doesn't make you a coward, Martin."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to."

Martin purses his lips. "If I had-"

"It wasn't Elias that put that statement there," Gerry interrupts him before he can even form the thought. "You know that."

"No, I don't!" Martin snaps. "You keep saying that, Jon said that, but I don't! A- and even if I did, am I not supposed to feel guilty that I was under- that they used me to push Jon into starting the apocalypse?!"

"Welcome to the club," Gerry says dryly, and Martin stops so abruptly in his tirade that he very nearly bites his tongue off.

Especially with how well he served his purpose.

Elias' words, written in Martin's own unwitting hand, are burned in his mind.

"I- uh-"

"It's okay." Gerry runs a hand over his hair, his lips pressed in a tight line.

"...It's really not." Martin says after a while. "I- it's not- how can you be so calm?"

"I'm not, I just-" Gerry's eyes are far-off, lost in the depths of the cottage, a door that doesn't open anymore, unless one of them opens it first. "I'm focusing on the two of you right now. Otherwise it's too much."

"How- how does it feel for you?" Martin asks quietly.

"It feels... good, I suppose. Like this is where I'm meant to be, which I suppose is true, being a- a monster of the Eye or whatever. I don't like it."

Martin pulls him a bit tighter against his side, though it makes the part of him that is not quite human roar in discomfort. "You're not a monster of the Eye."

"Agree to disagree, won't we?" Gerry smiles. It's the same gesture he normally uses to rile him up, playful and amused and now tinged with a hint of sadness, and it makes Martin so mad, the unfairness of it all. "Is it different for you?"

"I just- there's a place I 'should' go to. A place where I'd be alone."

"Is that why you want to leave?" Gerry arches an eyebrow.

"Of course not. I'm- I want to fix this but Gerry, I don't know if we can fix it. I don't know how any of this works."

Gerry nods once, a slow tilt of his head like the weight of it all is too much, before he springs back up. It's a gesture so inherently him that Martin feels a fierce rush of protectiveness surge up in him.

They deserved better. They still do.

"I- if we-" Gerry starts, then stops to sigh again. "Jon would be safe if we left. I think we both would be too, but I'm not sure, and-"

"And we aren't leaving him." Martin completes the thought. Gerry nods again, even more exhausted this time. "What are we supposed to do, then? Just wait until he's done torturing himself with those tapes?"

A few notes of a discordant birthday song seep from under the door to reach his ears faintly, the ghost of a memory that he shouldn't be able to hear from this far away, but Martin guesses it's one of those things he's meant to experience precisely because it will hurt him.

"I'm- I don't know, Martin. I really don't."

-------------------------------------

Click.

"Are you on?" A few static-laden taps. "Test, test, testing prehistoric equipment? Okay, yes. How should I... oh, I know. Recording by Sasha James, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute... Hah"

A small chuckle, before the woman speaks again. "Well, the payrise isn't that great anyways, and at least I don't have to pretend I'm a prick all the time, like Jon does." A sigh. "Tim's starting to get tired of it, but I think Jon just- it's tough starting as a boss. I think he's mostly posturing for Martin? When it's just the three of us, it feels just like when we were back at research. He'll get over it, I'm sure."

Another chuckle, a bit embarrassed this time. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. I guess it just feels nice to say it aloud knowing no one will hear it."

Silence. Papers shuffling, the clicking of a stapler, and a sound like someone sliding something heavy across a flat surface.

Thoughtful tapping against wood.

"I'm- it's not like I'm angry at him, I know he thinks that too. I just... I guess it's disappointing to be passed over. I've been thinking of looking for something el-"

"Hey there!" A new voice. Deeper and amused, warm. "Are you done?"

"Almost. I forgot it was Friday. You and Jon ready?"

"I'm... I was actually thinking it could be just us tonight."

"Oh."

"If you want, I mean. If not, there's still time to tell him, or we don't have to go at all." The man's voice hasn't come closer, and a door creaks like someone is shifting against it.

A long moment of silence, before the woman speaks again.

"Mr. Stoker, are you suggesting an office affair?" The woman's smile is audible in her tone, and there's a far off sound like a sigh of an exhale.

"Well, I think these archives have been far too peaceful for far too long, don't you?"

An amused huff.

"It's not a very wise thing to do."

"We don't have to."

Laughter, this time. "No, we're gonna. Let me get my coat."

Click.

-------------------------------------

"She never liked you," Jon says. His voice sounds hoarse with disuse as he glares resentfully at the whirring tape recorder in his hand. "I wonder how it would've manifested for her."

The device doesn't respond, of course. Just sits there, recording, watching. Its intentions, good or bad, have no effect on what it can and cannot do. It was made for a purpose, and that is that.

"I guess it's moot, though." If he's to believe Elias, and there's really no reason why he'd keep lying after achieving his goal, Jon was ripe for the picking decades before even considering setting foot on the Institute.

He can see them now, the hair-thin threads of silver wrapped around him, innocuous in appearance even though he can feel their pull.

Jon knows what the Mother wants of him now, hears it all around him in the creaking of the cottage, the screaming in the wind, in Martin and Gerry's insistence.

He won't give it to her.

Like the Spiral or the Stranger, the Web doesn't enjoy being Seen, and Jon feels it pushing him to not think too much about it or its motives.

He lets it, for the time being. He has other things to focus on, things he hasn't allowed himself to dwell on yet, with Sasha and Tim's voices still swimming in his mind.

"...I did think she resented me," he says after a pause. He closes his eyes, and he sees what would've been. Sees her covered in scars, terrified, hurt. Making the wrong choice time and time again, no matter how hard she tries. "I never- I'm glad it wasn't her."

The fate that befell Sasha wasn't gentle, but at least it was swift. At least she didn't live to see herself turn the world into this cesspool of suffering. To enjoy it.

"They think... They want to leave. Both of them." Sasha was right, it is easier to talk to the tapes, even if Jon is not under any false notion regarding whether or not he's being listened. "They- Martin thinks we can undo this. That there's a way to turn things back."

Jon doesn't know if there is, but- if there's a chance, what right does he have to attempt it, after what he did? Gerry just- he tries to keep things light, but Jon knows he's growing tired of mediating between appeasing Martin's urgencies, and giving Jon the time he thinks he needs.

"I'm- I just-" Jon sighs, clears his throat. "Recording ends."

But it doesn't. It never does anymore.

-------------------------------------

"Still nothing," Georgie sighs as she drops on the couch next to her.

"I expected as much." Melanie lifts the hand not sunk in the Admiral's fur, and Georgie tangles their fingers together. "What were you trying now? Calling again?"

"No, I... I used the recorder app. I thought it might reach him, but no luck."

"It was a good idea." Melanie shrugs. "But these things and technology just don't mix too well. I'm surprised your phone is even working at all."

"I mean, it's not. It's just working enough to get me frustrated, which I guess is the point."

Melanie chuckles. "The point is actually to make you scared, but that's not going to fly with you, and it makes them angry." The entities are nothing if not petty.

"What about you?" Georgie's hand tightens in her. "You can be scared."

"I'm not," Melanie says. It's- she's worried, but as long as she and Georgie are together... "The Eye can't see me."

Gerry once told her words carried power, and these ones hold truth. The Eye no longer has a claim on her, as much as it resents it.

"But the others can?" Georgie asks. Melanie can picture her expression perfectly, a thick eyebrow raised in question.

"They should be able to." She shrugs "I'm guessing the reason none of them have snatched me up is because I'm in your… aura? Blind spot? Anyways, I don't think I'll try going out on my own anytime soon."

"Probably not a good idea, no… What are we going to do, then? If we can't contact them-"

"I think- I think they'll be coming this way. Or I hope so, at least." They have to. They wouldn't just... If there's a way to turn it back, it will be here at London, at Magnus' tower. They'll come, and then they can take him on together. "I think we wait."

It feels odd, to actively choose inaction. Melanie has spent her whole life on the move, for new stories, for more adventure, for something that makes her clench her hands into fists.

"...we wait, then."

-------------------------------------

Click.

"Hi, Jon. I- I hope you don't mind that I'm recording. I thought-" a long, tired sigh "-I don't know what I thought. They just... they remind me of you. It felt right."

A sound of fabric shifting, something soft being patted. "There, that ought to be more comfortable. You're starting to look a bit pale, I'm- I'll ask the nurse if we can move your bed closer to the window so you get some sun. You'd probably hate that, but you need it, Jon," the man chuckles a little.

A long beat.

"I miss you."

Silence. Heavy, tense. A slow, deep inhale. The man clears his throat, and resumes speaking, as casually as before.

"Peter Lukas offered me a new position at the Institute. He- Elias left him in charge, don't ask me how that works legally, but... he wants me to be his assistant." A pause, a scoff, a little chuckle. "Yes, yes I know it is a trap, alright? I'm not stupid, Jon!"

Another chuckle, though this one takes a hint of fondness at the end.

"I know. But... we got attacked, just last month. The Flesh. Melanie managed to drive them back, but we- we lost three people. Emily from Research, Duke from the Library, and Len from Accounting. They didn't even care that they were normal employees, they just-"

The man's voice cracks, and he gives himself a moment, another slow intake of breath. "Lukas says he can protect the Institute. With- with what we know about the Lonely, I don't doubt it. There's... There's something else he isn't telling me. I- I'm not sure what it is, but I can guess it won't end well for me."

The silence that follows stretches for far longer than its predecessors, until the man sighs again.

"Not like I care much, anyways." A chair creaking, as the man atop it shifts. "I'm... I'm starting to understand you're not going to wake up. Wh- who would've thought I'd be the last one, huh?"

A flat, humourless chuckle.

"Guess... guess it's what I deserve, for staying behind every. Single. Time."

Minutes tick by after his words, in a seemingly endless silence, almost like the tape ran out of battery or somehow stopped recording without announcing it.

The chair creaks again.

"Goodbye, Jon."

Click

-------------------------------------

"I just- why do you keep listening to them?" Martin is asking as Gerry enters the bedroom, his voice not quite snappy, but coated with the same deep weariness that's permeated his every interaction with Jon for a while now.

"Because there has to be a reason why they're here. Why-"

"Jon, they're here because Elias wants to rub it in your face. He wants to hurt you even more, and- and you're going along with it! What could there possibly be in them that you don't already know?"

Gerry sighs, shoulders heavy with his own exhaustion as he looks out the window. The eyeballs growing out of the carefully tilled earth turn to stare back at him.

He's free now, he knows.

Gertrude's eyes blink accusingly at him from where he remembers planting the carrots, and Gerry scoffs.

"Of course I'm not going to. Don't be an idiot." Gerry rolls his eyes. There just. There has to be a way to reverse it, no matter-

Gerry sighs. Ever the optimist, the old hag.

He feels the cabin creaking and shifting, feasting on the sorrow that thinking of Gertrude brings him, even after years and deceptions.

It can't consume them, he Knows. None of them are human anymore, not completely. The cabin is just... a memory granted teeth, a place that haunts its occupants instead of the other way around. What hurts them -or him, at least- is the fact that what was supposed to be a sanctuary became a prison, and the only fear to be found here is, Gerry thinks, the fear that this will be the thing to break them apart, with Jon locked in the bedroom listening to his ghosts, with Martin pushing and pulling at him and Jon snapping back like a wounded dog.

It's decent fear. The fact that Gerry doesn't know which one of them to side with only makes it worse.

He understands Jon's reticence, the feeling that if he tries again, it will only make things even worse. He understands he's hurt, and scared, that now more than ever, he doesn't want the power Elias forced on him.

He also understands Martin, the- the need to fight back, to keep moving. To not be a fucking piece on a chessboard again.

Melanie's eyes, scarred and blind, turn to look at him.

"...I know. We're- I know."

Slowly, reluctantly, Gerry pushes away from the window.

This is not a conversation he wants to have, but...

Well, at least Martin will be happy that Gerry's siding with him, and Jon... Jon will understand.

Hopefully.

-------------------------------------

Click.

Statement of Jonathan Sims, the Archive, regarding the current state of affairs.

It is time you take a look at the world you have created, you have put it off for long enough.

You can feel it with awful clarity, even when you pretend the opposite, for their sake. Or is it for yours, desperate to hide the kind of being you are from the ones whose opinion you value the most? All around you, here in this space that is made safe only by your presence, suffering is the course du jour, tailor-made for each and every innocent you have condemned to this life that is not a life as much as it is the bare shadow of an existence.

You do not hear the screaming as much as you Know it -what don't you Know now?-, resonating in your mind every second of every day, if those things existed anymore.

Despite yourself, you sometimes wish that the screamers would choke on their own blood, that their lungs would collapse with the force of their anguished crying, that they could reach into their own ribcage and pull out their heart to squeeze the life out of it, out of themselves.

You want to think that way at least they would be free.

You know better of course. The rules of this new reality you have imposed on everyone are clearly outlined before you, like a neat bullet point list you've learned by heart. The first of these points is the worst, and it's the one that keeps you up at night when you're unable to wake the ones you love from their frantic nightmares, when they toss and trash on the bed, calling out for people who aren't there.

'You made this. This is for you.'

And when you wish fervently for the deaths of innocents, when you pray for each breath to be their last, you try, but can't quite keep out the satisfaction, the delight that comes from Knowing all this fear.

The world is in agony, but it will never die.

You hide here in this cottage that was home because it held the ones you love, clinging desperately to the idea that it can still be a shelter, if you only wish hard enough. You know the thought is as futile as the feeling, love did not make you holy, and it won't consecrate this place.

The cottage feeds on your fear and your doubt, on their tired eyes and strained smiles, and it whispers into your ear that it is only here that you will find peace. Wasn't this your happy ending, wasn't this all that you wanted? A cozy place to end your story with the ones you call your heart?

They hate it here almost as much as you wish they would hate you, but they stay for your sake. Have any of you ever done things for yourselves? All the three of you know is self-sacrifice, and how little it pays. You feel that this place that is not a home is feeding on you, and you relish on it, because it's the only penance you will find in this world that has made you untouchable.

The ones you love want to leave, want to fight; you wish you had an ounce of the hope they still nurse at their core, because you are as afraid to leave as you are of the cottage consuming you if you don't. Every day your interactions are more stilted, more tense, and you wonder which one will crack first.

And that's what it all boils down to, doesn't it? Fear. You're scared of seizing what's yours. Of facing this world of your making.

You're terrified of what awaits you out there, of what awaits you in here. The Pupil wasn't mistaken when he called you an Archive of fear, and it is time that you come back.

You can feel the call at your chest, like a bestial instinct that wills your bones to move, to go back to your place of power. You've been feeling it for a few days now (there are no days anymore, not in the world you've created), but it grows stronger every moment, more recognizable. You followed it once already, traversing a labyrinth like the map to it was burned on the inside of your eyelids.

You've tried futilely to ignore the call, just like you've tried to ignore the silk wrapped choking tight around your throat, pulling at you like it has done all your life. Was there ever a chance for things to work out, or were they just the delusions of a monster that thought -hoped- that maybe if he loved enough, he'd become a man again?

You know the answer to that, of course. You Know everything. What was it that she called it? Ineluctability. Swimming frantically upstream only to be pushed back in the end, because your limbs will get tired a lot sooner than the tide.

You are exhausted, and you have been for a while.

Statement ends.

Steps, slow and unsteady, and the creaking of a door. Some heavy breathing, like the breather has just run a marathon, or had the air choked out of him. A broken, slightly hysterical laugh, no longer the Archivist, but merely a broken man.

I don't want to go.

Click

A moment of silence that seems to stretch for an eternity, as the two of them look at the lone recorder.

"Martin, go get your backpack."

"I'm on it. Meet you outside."

#illicio #jongerrymartin #vit writes #jongerry #gerrymartin #jonmartin

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passionate-reply · 3 years

Video

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Stan Ridgway is best remembered as the guy from Wall of Voodoo, and Wall of Voodoo are best remembered as the guys from “Mexican Radio.” But there’s a whole lot more to Ridgway’s solo career, which began with 1986′s The Big Heat--Americana, epic narratives, and a whole lot of digital synth. (Transcript below the break!)

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, we’ll be looking at an often overlooked solo debut: Stan Ridgway’s The Big Heat, first released in 1986.

Stan Ridgway is best remembered as the original frontman of Wall of Voodoo, and Wall of Voodoo, in turn, are best remembered for the single “Mexican Radio,” a landmark bit of New Wave eclecticism that became an unlikely hit thanks in large part to heavy rotation on MTV. That said, like a lot of ostensible “one-hit wonders,” the span of Ridgway’s artistic career is quite a bit more varied and more interesting than this solitary recording might suggest. While I don’t believe that “Mexican Radio” is simply a novelty song that can easily be dismissed, I will set it aside for the time being, because any attempt to cover the rest of Stan Ridgway’s work is probably better off without worrying about it. Instead, let’s take a look at his first bona fide solo release: the 1983 single, “Don’t Box Me In.”

Music: “Don’t Box Me In”

“Don’t Box Me In” was a collaboration between Ridgway and percussionist Stewart Copeland, then known chiefly for his work with the group The Police. While Copeland is now fairly well known for his work composing scores for cinema and video games, this was one of his first forays into that field: the soundtrack to Francis Ford Coppola’s film adaptation of Rumble Fish. Based on a novel by S. E. Hinton, most famous for The Outsiders, Rumble Fish was actually a tremendous flop for Coppola, perceived to be a bit too avant-garde for its own good, and Copeland’s percussion-led score for the film, experimental in its own right, certainly didn’t help that perception. Despite all of this, “Don’t Box Me In” managed to do fairly well for itself as a single, achieving substantial alternative radio play purely on its own merits. And merits it has, weaving together the experience of a fish trapped in a tiny bowl with a more universalized sense of human ennui, being overlooked and underestimated by everyone around you. Not to be underestimated himself, Ridgway has not only written these evocative lyrics, but delivers them in a manner that shows a complexity beyond his semi-affected Western twang, conveying fragility and uncertainty alongside indignation and determinedness. This is also the version of Stan Ridgway whom we meet when we listen to The Big Heat.

Music: “Camouflage”

Despite being the very last single released from The Big Heat, the eerie war yarn “Camouflage” would go on to be the most successful track from the album, and Ridgway’s best-known hit as a solo artist. Perhaps surprisingly, the single was largely snubbed in the charts of Ridgway’s native USA, becoming a much bigger hit throughout Europe. While playing the harmonica and sporting a bolo tie, Ridgway seems to almost play the character of the quintessential American, and perhaps it’s that quality that’s caused this apparent rift. Is it necessary to analyze his art through the lens of exoticism in order to find it appealing?

It’s a hard question for me to answer, personally--I might be from the US myself, but at the same time, the vast majority of the music I listen to is European, as a natural consequence of being chiefly a devotee of electronic music. There is still a sort of novelty factor I find in Ridgway’s work. I remain in awe of the fact that a musical genius exists who uses a hard R, and says “huh?” instead of “pardon me?” But, of course, I am amazed by this moreso because it makes me feel “represented,” for once, in a musical tradition which is important to me. If people from Britain’s crumbling industrial centers like Sheffield and Manchester have made great electronic music, then surely synthesisers can also tell the stories of the American Rust Belt, where I come from? For that, we’ll have to step away from the sort of typified narrative of “Camouflage,” and take a listen to the album’s title track.

Music: “The Big Heat”

“Camouflage” told us a tale as old as time, in which a benevolent ghost offers one last act of aid to a vulnerable human being. The album’s title track, on the other hand, alludes to a particularly 20th Century form of storytelling: the detective drama and film noir, as hinted at by its allusion to the classic Fritz Lang film of the same title. Ridgway assumes the perspective of the hardboiled detective, hot on the trail of some mysterious quarry, and it is the innocent passers-by he seeks information from who respond with the song’s banal refrain: “Everybody wants another piece of pie today.” For as much as people have mocked Ridgway’s singing style over the years, you’ve got to appreciate his lilting delivery of this line here in the first verse, where it comes from the mouth of a female character.

It’s easy, of course, to see such apparent non sequitur lyrics in Ridgway’s oeuvre as merely ridiculous, as many quickly do with the likes of “Mexican Radio,” but the more you listen to him, the more his style begins to make sense. The instinct to find humour in things is deeply connected to the feeling of being surprised, and encountering the unexpected. Ridgway happens to be all about delivering the unexpected, and it’s precisely the surface-level absurdities and surprises his lyricism offers that make us think more deeply about the stories he tells. The title track of The Big Heat isn’t about pie, but rather the fact that everybody its characters encounter appears to be grasping for more out of life, and hungry for something else. It’s what drives criminals to transgress against the law, and it’s also, perhaps, what drives the detective to devote himself to the pursuit of the abstract principle of “justice.” To both the villain and the hero of this story, the civilians they brush past are little more than means to an end, despite their display of greater wisdom and insight into these issues than anyone else. Ridgway excels at conveying this sort of saintly everymannishness, and does so with similar gusto on the track “Pick It Up (And Put It In Your Pocket)”.

Music: “Pick It Up (And Put It In Your Pocket)”

“Pick It Up (And Put It In Your Pocket)” was actually not released as a single, which is perhaps surprising given its hooky quality and sprightly synth backdrop. While “Camouflage” is assembled chiefly from traditional instruments, with only a subtle intrusion of Yamaha DX-7 to remind you that it came out in 1986, many of the other tracks, like this one and the title track, are willing to double down on electronic influences, and ride the wave of “peak synth-pop” that was easily cresting by the mid-1980s. That aside, the central theme of “Pick It Up (And Put It In Your Pocket)” is the quotidian avariciousness one encounters among ordinary folk, and the psychological effects of living in a “mean world.” While the text mostly revolves around the idea of living in fear, and the paranoia of knowing that “everything changes hands when it hits the ground,” it reaches a climax by showing us an actual situation where this occurs: the pathetic figure of a filthy old man who finds a small bill in the road, and, in a fit of folk superstitiousness, is said to “thank the street.” The song’s tension lives between the bustle of the jealous ones, and the reality of life for those desperate enough to pick up money from the street. Like many of Ridgway’s greatest works, this track simultaneously portrays the mentality of the common man in a direct and serious manner, but also opens up room for it to be criticized. This everyman bystander persona is assumed more directly in the track “Drive, She Said.”

Music: “Drive, She Said”

While the album’s more electronic elements are its main draw, in my eyes, there are still a number of tracks that remain dominated by traditional instruments, “Drive, She Said” being a prime example of them. While narratives are always at the center of Ridgway’s work, “Drive, She Said” moves us away from omniscient narration like that of “Pick It Up (And Put It In Your Pocket)” and back into the mind of a specific and individualized narrator--in this case, a cab driver who somewhat reluctantly transports a bank robber, with whom he might also be falling in love. While it doesn’t have the supernatural implications of “Camouflage,” the two stories do seem to have much in common: an ordinary person meets someone who quickly reveals their extraordinary nature, and despite the brevity of their encounter, the protagonist is deeply affected, and perhaps changed, by the events. Much as “Pick It Up (And Put It In Your Pocket)” sees fit to shatter its apparent main premise, with an interlude that shifts the tempo of the music as well as introduces the contrasting figure of the old beggar, “Drive, She Said” introduces an interlude of its own: the driver’s reverie, in which he runs away with his enigmatic passenger. As in many of Ridgway’s tales, we must consider both the beauty of a wonderful dream, and its sheer impossibility.

On the cover of The Big Heat, we see a portrait of Stan Ridgway looking glum, which is not itself terribly unusual for an album cover, though the fact that he’s behind a metal fence certainly is. The main focus of the image seems to be Ridgway’s environment, a bleak industrial setting full of towering machinery, and no other traces of human beings. The absence of other figures in this scene draws attention to the scale of the machines, as well as the fact that in many parts of the US, including my own, it’s very common to see equipment like this that’s fallen into disuse and disrepair. Much as ruined aqueducts and palaces mark the places in Europe where the Roman Empire had once held fast, these sorts of derelict manufacturing facilities are a common sight in America, and serve as reminders of the squandered “American Century.” While many album covers have shown me places I like to imagine myself visiting, I don’t have to imagine what being here might be like, having grown up in a place whose pride left soon after the steel industry did. It strikes me as exactly the kind of setting that Ridgway’s narratives ought to take place in: dirty, simple, well-intentioned, doomed, and all-American.

Ridgway’s follow-up to The Big Heat would be 1989’s *Mosquitos,* an album that largely abandons the many synthesiser-driven compositions found in his earlier work. It’s hard to fault him for this decision, given how much the mainstream appeared to be souring on synth-pop and electronic rock by the end of the decade, but it does mean that this album offers little I’d want to listen to recreationally. That is, with the exception of its third and final single, “Goin’ Southbound,” a practically epic drama of small-town drug smugglers trying to survive, and one that fires on all cylinders when it comes to fiddles dueling with digital synths. This track feels like it would fit right in on The Big Heat, so if you’ve enjoyed this album, don’t miss it.

Music: “Goin’ Southbound”

My favourite track on The Big Heat is “Salesman,” which, to my surprise, received a small advance promo release without ever becoming a true single. The titular character, an unctuous but insecure traveling salesman, is as rich a narrating persona as any of the many in Ridgway’s catalogue, and I love the way the refrain just feels like a song you might make up while idly doing something else, silly and yet primal at the same time. It captures the feeling of living “on the edge of the ball,” enjoying the freedom of spontaneity, but also, perhaps, suffering for its enforced sloppiness. That’s everything for today, thanks for listening!

Music: “Salesman”

#music #album review #album reviews #great albums #stan ridgway #wall of voodoo

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love-bokumono-fics · 3 years

Text

WIP Wednesday - Friends of Mineral Town Part 1

I'm going to make 2 WIP Wednesday posts today for the FoMT WIP Wednesday feature. When I sorted by Date Updated, I realized that the most recent 10 fics have all received a feature on the blog over the last couple months. Which is great!

But I also want to take time to feature some of the WIPs that haven't been updated in a little bit, but still deserve some time in the spotlight.

Part 1 of WIP Wednesday is going to be the first 10 fics showing up on AO3, and Part 2 will be the next 10 fics!

Happy reading!

Do you have a FoMT WIP that didn't get featured today? Drop the link to it in a Submission box! We're always happy to feature submissions!

Pot-Puri - by Sakrovishte; WIP, 5/?, 14k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town, A Wonderful Life

Relationships: Pete | Jack/Popuri, Muffy | Muumuu/Pete | Jack; Characters: Popuri, Pete | Jack, Muffy

Additional Tags: First Love, Love Triangles, Jealousy, farm struggling

Summary: Chickens and chicken eggs were all Popuri knew. She knew a simple way of life. A good life but there was always that little voice that cried out inside of her.

Doug's Inn - by FriendOfBats; WIP, 3/?, 10k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationships: Claire the Farmer/Cliff, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added; Characters: Claire the Farmer, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran, Doug | Dudley, Cliff, Rick, Popuri, Kai, Gray

Additional Tags: POV Multiple, Drama & Romance, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Content, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Eventual Romance, Bittersweet, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Bad Decisions, Slice of Life, Angst, Character Development, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Secrets

Summary: Claire "Shelly" McPherson decides, once and for all, to leave the big city and her past behind her. On a whim, she buys a one-way ticket to Mineral Town and books a reservation at Doug's Inn. It's there that she meets new friends and discovers, in the idyllic little town, the secrets that everyone is harboring... secrets not even the town bartender has heard about.

Sakura Sisters - by LuluRuru; WIP, 4/?, 12k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationship: Ships will be revealed soon!; Characters: Claire, Naomi, Brandon, Cliff, Doctor | Trent, Gray, Kai, Rick, Elli | Elly, Jennifer, Karen, Mary the Librarian | Marie, Popuri, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran, Mineral Town Residents

Additional Tags: Family, Slow Burn, POV Alternating, Updating tags as I go

Summary: Mineral Town is the destination for these two sisters. Claire appears dainty and sweet but really is childish and a loudmouth. Naomi appears shy and uncaring but is perceptive and a go-getter. The two of them are here for different reasons, but both of them have to manage Sakura Farm together. Will Claire be able to find her childhood friend and the boy who saved her? And will Naomi be able to find her true calling in life? The road ahead will be tough, but these two can do anything if they put their minds together. After all, that's what sisters are for, right?

Wildflower - by EmeraldHaze15; WIP, 7/?, 14k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationship: To Be Decided; Characters: Claire the Farmer, Harris, More to come, Basically the whole of Mineral Town, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran, Popuri, Rick, Mary the Librarian | Marie

Additional Tags: Tags Contain Spoilers, Abusive Relationships, Running Away, Bruises, Hurt/Comfort, mentions of prior abuse, Emotional Scarring, Trespassing, Domestic Violence, Pseudonyms, Tags Are Hard, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Mineral Town, Peril, No Smut, Panic Attacks

Summary: The world is a scary place, especially when Claire is all alone. But maybe she can begin to heal in a little place called Mineral Town... Rated 'M' for heavy, dark themes and emotional trauma

Barriers - by krose13; WIP, 23/?, 165k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town, Harvest Moon DS Cute

Relationships: Claire the Farmer/Gray, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran/Cliff; Characters: Claire, Gray, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran, Cliff, Kai, Karen, Popuri, Mary the Librarian, Rick, Basically the whole Mineral Town cast, plus Forget-Me-Not Valley

Additional Tags: Drama & Romance, Complicated Relationships, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Not for the kiddos, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Unplanned Pregnancy, trying to fit a realistic pregnancy in hm time is a challenge but we doin it, POV First Person, Mutual Pining, Drug Use, Dreams and Nightmares, Drowning, I’ll probably have to add more tags as we go along but

Summary: Unlike everyone else in town, Gray wants nothing to do with the new farmer. He can't stand Claire, despite all her attempts to befriend him. But when one small mistake leads to an even bigger problem, he might be seeing a lot more of her than they both had planned.

A Blacksmith's Guide to Happiness - by Practicado; WIP, 42/?, 242k

Rating: Explicit; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationships: Claire the Farmer/Gray, Claire the Farmer/Doctor Trent

Additional Tags: Love Triangles, Sexual Content, Virginity, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Angst and Humor, Healing, Romantic Friendship, Sarcasm, Love, Friendzone, Jealousy, Falling In Love, Religion, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Complicated Relationships, Trying to make these relationships as realistic as possible LOL, dry humour, like a lot of it, Really don't know where I'm going with all of these tags lmao, Age Difference, But the main character thinks it's okay bc she's naive, but everyone else knows better smh

Summary: Rough city boy meets innocent farm girl. Disagreements, conflicts, and trials that threaten to come between them ensue. Gray is a cynical blacksmith apprentice who's been around the block a couple of times. Claire is a naïve farmer who doesn't even know where that block might be located. Both have suffered from a pain-filled past, yet they learn to heal with the help of each other. Despite their continuous fighting and inability to see eye to eye, something beautiful still manages to blossom between them. That is, until a certain doctor enters the picture. Slow-burn romance containing explicit language, sexual content, serious character development, and an overuse of sarcasm. Takes place in the aughts: Mineral Town, 2004

The Wayfarer's Way. - by callieicos; WIP, 12/?, 52k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Coming of Age, Friends to Lovers, I'll add more tags the more I write, Slice of Life, Eventual Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Reunions, Character Development, Neurodiversity

Summary: Traveling to Mineral town was a huge change for Cliff. Whether that's a positive change or negative one is beyond him. Still, he makes the most of his stay and along the way, learns to open himself up to others again. Claire, Mineral Town's newest resident and farmer, is learning how to become more independent, while also finding people who accept her. Together, Claire and Cliff learn to become friends and get a feel for their vastly new lifestyles together.

The Shy Newcomer - by durotos; WIP, 122/?, 565k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Categories: F/M, Multi

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationship: Claire the Farmer/Cliff; Characters: Claire, Cliff, Gray, Karen

Additional Tags: Slice of Life, Romance, Coming of Age, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, very slow burn, PROBABLY THE SLOWEST BURN EVER, Multiple Pairings, Mental Illness, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism

Summary: Claire, aching for something new in life, moves to Mineral Town and realizes at once that she has left everything she has ever known. At heart, a story about a young woman discovering that there is more to life if she just looks around her. A story of true love, friendship, hard work, and being part of something bigger than yourself.

Summer Days - by fieldberry; WIP, 9/?, 20k

Rating: General Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandom: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationships: Claire the Farmer/Kai, Claire the Farmer & Kai; Characters: Kai, Claire

Additional Tags: Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Eventual Romance, Drama & Romance, Drama, Romance, Slow Romance

Summary: Claire isn't sure what to expect when she risks it all and moves to the countryside--certainly not a handsome, charming young man watching stars on the beach one lonely night. A spark ignites between the two ex-city folk, and through the ups and downs of the following summers, grows into something much more.

Seedlings and Sprouts - by TheBeckster; WIP, 10/?, 8k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Categories: Gen, Multi

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town, Story of Seasons (2014), Star Wars, Trio of Towns, The Tale of Two Towns

Relationships: Carter/Doctor | Trent, Claire the Farmer/Cliff, Fritz/Raeger, Gotz/Vesta

Characters: Cliff, Claire, Doctor | Trent, Carter the Pastor, Fritz, Raeger, Gotz | Gotts, Anakin Skywalker, Beru Whitesun, Owen Lars, Georgia, Iluka

Additional Tags: yes this collection includes a star wars crossover, Tumblr Prompt, prompt collection, I'll figure out tags later

Summary: A collection of tumblr prompts I've filled over the last couple years based on Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons games. Every chapter is a different prompt. Should be posted in chronological order from oldest to newest. Prompt themes and ships will be included in the chapter titles.

#wip wednesday #harvest moon #story of seasons #friends of mineral town #sos fomt #fomt #story of seasons friends of mineral town

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

I know this is controversial but do you have any johnlock non-con or (preferably) dub-con for the twisted minds out there? If it's roleplay even better. If you don't do this sort of stuff just ignore me.

Hey Nonny!

Ahh, I usually don’t so I don’t have a lot of personal recs (more… it just happened in the fic and it’s a side issue), but I’ll give you the ones I have bookmarked as well as the ones I have on my MFL list, if only to bloat this list a bit more, LOL.

Cheers, and as always, if anyone has some recs, please let us know!

NON-CONSENT / DUBIOUS CONSENT

See also Alexx’s Lists:

John bottoms, Dub-con - Johniarty, Johnlock, Johncroft

Alpha!John, Omega!Sherlock & the Dub-con sex

Dubcon Johnlock

Drugged Non-con sex

Johnlock non-con and dub-con sex

And my alternate list: Consent and Relationship Negotiations

Upon Waking by joolabee (E, 3,901 w., 1 Ch. || Mild Dub Con, Magical Realism, Angst, Somnophilia) – It sets on slow: John can only be awake while Sherlock sleeps, and vice versa. Their lives are codependent, but never meeting. Like a set of scales.

A Certain Kind of Hunger by MapleleafCameo (E, 5,881 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Creatures || Incubus!John, Worried Sherlock, Tail Penetration, Somnophilia, PWP, Threats of Non-Con) – A concerned Sherlock watches as John seems to be rapidly losing weight. What he discovers is that John really isn't normal. And he is very, very hungry. The tail was the real surprise.

Caves in the Mountains Are Seldom Unoccupied by starrysummernights & TheMadKatter13 (E, 7,925 w., 1 Ch. || Were-Creatures, Werebear John, Pseudo Bestiality, Rimming, Dub Con, Rough Sex, Come Inflation / Eating, Size Kink, PWP, Bratty Sherlock, Rutting) – “This isn’t something to play at, Sherlock,” he snapped. “If it doesn’t work out- what you’re asking of me- we can’t shrug and say 'oh well, at least we tried'. If we do this… I could seriously hurt you. Do you understand? I could lose control. I could… I could kill you.”

On the Losing Side by missselene (E, 8,210 w., 1 Ch. || Anal / Oral, First Kiss / Time, Angst, Misunderstandings, Mild Dub Con / Drunk John) – After Mary's death, John moves back into Baker Street, but is still upset at the loss of his wife and child. Eventually, he and Sherlock stumble into a sort of relationship, but it's more physical than anything and they don't talk about it. They especially don't talk during sex. If they are going to have sex, Sherlock notices the signs hours beforehand, and he prepares carefully. The lights are off, they're under the covers, he prepares himself using lots of lube so he can make it feel as much like a woman as he can, and he doesn't let himself make any noise so that, if John wishes, he can pretend that he's still with Mary.

Better Than One by Innerspace (E, 14,760 w. 1 Ch. || Threesome, Self-cest / Clone Sex, First Time, BJ’s, Power Play, Slight Dub-Con) – Sherlock creates a clone and discovers things about himself and John he never imagined. John is just along for the ride, so to speak.

Kintsugi by distantstarlight (E, 14,772 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Regret / Remorse, Loneliness, Separation, Drug Use, Healing, Protective John, Sad Sherlock, Dev. Rel., Complicated Relationships, Love, Angst With Happy Ending, Sherlock is Called Freak, John’s Penance, Voyeurism, Doctor/Caretaker John, Guilty John, Detox, Fingering, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Slight Non-Con Turns Enthusiastic Consent, Virgin Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes becomes estranged from the man he had once considered his best friend after John lets him down horribly in public. It seems that the world's only consulting detective will be on his own once again...or will he?

The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It's a lot less cracky than you're probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.

A Love with No Name Series by aceofhearts61 (G to M, 49,955 w. across 20 stories || Asexual Sherlock / Straight John, Est. Rel, Queerplatonic Relationship, Romance, Cuddling, Fluff, Platonic Romance, Domestics, Rape/Non-Con) – In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Scars by SilentAuror (E, 60,494 w., 5 Ch. || Rape / Non-Con / Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Dub Con Elements, Homophobia, Angst With Happy Ending, Mary is Not Nice) – S3 rewrite, showing Mary’s manipulation of John as he realizes his love for Sherlock. Mary is not having it.

A Cure For Boredom by emmagrant01 (E, 81,665 w., 8 Ch. || Dirty Talk, Threesomes, Light Dom/Sub, Sex Club, Experiments, Anal, Mildly Dubious Consent) – They’d never talked about sex in the year they’d known each other. Well, that wasn’t quite correct: Sherlock had never said a word about sex; John had bemoaned his personal dearth of it on many occasions.

Secrets and Revelations by Hisstah (E, 83,535 w., 9 Ch. || Sentinel / Guides Omegaverse AU || Adventure, Violence, Anal / Oral, Omega!John / Alpha!Sherlock, Case Fic, Politics, Mild DubCon) – Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he's kept from his flatmate, Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him. Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to Sherlock? Part 1 of Secrets and Revelations

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

Ten Days by Engazed (E, 137,208 w., 31 Ch. || Rape/Non-Con, Post-TRF, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture, Case Fic) – Sherlock Holmes has been dead for forty months, and John is at last beginning to live his life again. But just when he believes he might be happy, his world crashes back down around him. John is named a missing person. Someone is pointing DI Lestrade in the wrong direction. And as the days pass, his situation only grows more dire. It seems like the disappearance of his best friend is the only thing that can bring Sherlock Holmes back from the dead. Part 1 of The Fallen

A Fold in the Universe by darkest_bird (E, 152,869 w., 26 Ch. || Omegaverse / Prime Universe Crossover || OmegaJohn / AlphaSherlock, First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, Angst, H/C, Dub Con, Humour) – Alpha Sherlock and Omega John are in a relationship. Prime Sherlock and Prime John are not. So what happens when a freak fold in the universe switches one John for the other?

The Gilded Cage by BeautifulFiction (E, 326,887 w., 31 Ch. || Omegaverse || Omega Sherlock / Alpha John, Friends to Lovers, Dub Con, Reproductive Rights) – In a world where Omegas are the property of the elite Alphas, locked away and treasured by those wealthy enough to buy them, John never questioned his flatmate's secondary gender. Sherlock Holmes was an Alpha through-and through. Wasn't he? A chance discovery turns the world on its head, and John is left grappling to come to terms with Sherlock's past as events conspire to threaten their future.

MARKED FOR LATER

Three drinks or was it five by iriswallpaper (M, 1,455 w., 1 Ch. || Mild Dub Con / Drunk Sex, Morning After, First Time, Awkwardness / Awkward Sex, Idiots in Love, Avoiding The Talk™/Miscommunication, Fluff, Happy Ending) – Sherlock wakes up beside John, naked in his bed, after a night of getting hammered together on very good Scotch. Trying to spare John embarrassment, Sherlock makes as much noise as possible to indirectly wake John, all the while dreading the Very Important Talk he knows John will want to have.

Scars by Mildredandbobbin (M, 2,516 w., 2 Ch. || Post-TSoT/Pre-HLV, Rape/Non-Con, Hurt/Comfort, Rape Aftermath, Past Torture, Pre-Slash) – On his honeymoon, John starts receiving anonymous texts with increasingly disturbing images. He discovers how much he doesn't know about Sherlock's time away. Part 1 of the Scars series

No Means No by lindor1306 (M, 3,606 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Underage / Non Con / Rape / Child Abuse, Dub Con, Drunkenness) – When Sherlock attends a party with John, he finds himself in a horribly familiar situation, and learns the meaning of the word 'No'.

Tumblr Mini-fics #7: Triskadekaphilia Fic Fest - The Johnlock Fics by berlynn_wohl (E, 3,791 w., 16 Ch. || First Time, Alley Sex, Dub. Con., Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, ABO Dynamics, Mpreg, Omega Sherlock, Sub Sherlock, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Chastity Device, Drugged Sherlock, Milking, Omega John, Experiments, Nudity, Yoga) – In March 2013, I celebrated 1300 Tumblr followers with my Triskadekaphilia Fic Fest. Followers requested a pairing and a kink, and I wrote a fill for each that was 13 sentences long, with one sentence that was 13 words long, and with one word that was 13 letters long. These are the resulting Johnlock fics. Part 7 of the Tumblr Mini-Fics series

If You Go Out in the Woods Today by Sexxica (E, 5,247 w., 1 Ch. || Fawnlock, Mythical Beings/Creatures, Teen John, Virgin John, Anal Sex / Fingering, Mildly Dub. Con., Bottom John, Top Sherlock, Outdoor Sex, Blow Jobs) – You're sure of a big surprise. 18 year old John Watson certainly didn't expect to stumble into the realm of a forest god, let alone one demanding payment in order to let him and his friend Mike leave.

Company by lookupkate (E, 6,004 w., 2 Ch. || BDSM Club AU || Dom John, Sub Sherlock, Soft Dom John, Mentions of Previous Bad D/S Relationship, Past Non-Con, Humiliation, Happy Ending) – Sherlock goes under cover to suss out an embezzler at a BDSM club. His past is marred by an ex-boyfriend who verbally abused him under the guise of a D/s relationship. What he thinks he needs is a little different than what he needs. Luckily he's placed with someone who can see how fragile he is, Dom John Watson. Once the case is over he realises how much he's going to miss the man. Damn.

Let's go home by thewallflower07 (M, 6,333 w., 2 Ch. || Post-S3, POV Lestrade, Cuddling, Snuggling, Protective John, Hurt/Comfort, Hospital, Restraint, Psychological/Physical Torture, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Non-Con Touching, Non-Con Drug Use, Kidnapping, Fever Dream/Hallucinations, Villain Mary) – Lestrade is driving John to the hospital and helps him bring a heavily injured Sherlock home. In a flashback Mary had kidnapped Sherlock and played her cruel tricks on him. Sherlock is walking through a weird London where nothing is logical and he sees a John Watson he no longer recognizes.

Splat! by Vulgarweed (E, 6,618 w., 1 Ch. || Historical Appalachian 1970′s AU || Dom / Sub, Gunplay, Knifeplay, “Non-Con” Roleplay, Switchlock, Anal, Rimming, Bondage, Hunting Kink, Rough Sex, Object Insertion, Dirty Talk, Comeplay) – Sherlock decides he does want to go hunting with John after all. But not for deer. Part 2 of the The Bone Fiddle series

Pulse by SoftTae (E, 6,620 w., 1 Ch. || Vampire AU || Vampire John, Human Sherlock, Dark John, Dub Con, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Blood Drinking, Anal, Light Bondage, Violent Sex, Biting, Vampire Sex, Angst, Preditor/Prey Dynamic) – This was written for a friend who asked for vampire John, and human Sherlock.

Black Cat by CatieBrie (E, 7,158 w., 1 Ch. || Psychological Horror, Supernatural Elements, Disturbing Themes, Body Horror, Sex, Major Consent Issues / Possible Rape, MCD, Intent Magic, Ambiguity) – He’s watching Sherlock crawl up his body, doesn’t have to see to know he has a blade tucked away somewhere, knows his body will react no matter what. “Do you know what this is, John?” Sherlock holds up a doll made of rudimentary cloth stuffed with god knows what. It’s wearing a crude rendition of John’s favorite striped shirt, denim pants and the hair is too fine and blonde-shocked-grey to be anything else but his.John tries to answer, has no voice, shakes his head. “It’s a poppet.” Sherlock explains, pushes the arms together and John’s limbs react, snapping to his sides and remaining there even as he tries desperately to struggle free.

Perception by orphan_account (M, 7,821 w., 1 Ch. || Rape/Non-Con) – John is perceptive sometimes.

A Chemical Defect Found (On the Losing Side Remix) by AreteArt (M, 7,978 w., 1 Ch. || First Time / Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Mildly Dubious Consent, Angst, Fluff, Misunderstandings, Pining, Anal / Oral Sex, Frottage) – A remix of missselene's "On the Losing Side." After Mary's death, John moves back into Baker Street. He and Sherlock stumble into a relationship, or something of that sort. Sherlock's rather giving when it comes to sex, but that doesn't mean he and John ever talk about it.

A Study in Asexuality by ladyxdarcy (M, 8,082 w., 1 Ch. || Asexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Acephobia, Mentions of Rape/Corrective Rape Therapy, Past Suicidal Ideation, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Overdose, Past Mary/John, Emotional Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Vulnerable Sherlock, Est. Rel., Angst with Happy Ending, Fluff) – When Sherlock, asexual to his core, fears that John may grow bored of a sexless life, he decides to do whatever it takes to make John happy so he stays. Good thing John is already happy.

as if not spoken to in the act of love by coloredink (E, 8,288 w., 1 Ch. || Dubious Consent, Codependency, Angst, Drama, Consent Issues) – Sherlock endures the indignities, bodies squirming against one another, the sweat, the saliva, because of John's jam in the fridge and sour-breathed kisses in the morning.

Making History by SaraDobieBauer (M, 8,622 w., 6 Ch. || Vampire AU || Season 1, Vampire John, Dark John, Bondage, Dub Con, Virgin Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes lay unconscious and handcuffed to John’s bed. John had been waiting for this day ever since he’d first met the consulting detective. He'd been waiting for centuries really.

Slave by skadi_zlata (E, 15,654 w., 1 Ch. || Slavery AU || Rape/Non-Con, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Dub Con, Abuse, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In the gambling dens of a vaguely AU London, John Watson has won and lost fortunes in a night. One evening he winds up playing with entirely the wrong crowd, the kind of people that make him feel he’ll be lucky to get out of there with his life – let alone anything else. But the announced prize is somewhat unexpected. It’s an abused slave with dark curly hair and mesmerizing blue-grey eyes.

Kingdoms Rise by colbee (E, 15,668 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, References to Canon, Graphic Descriptions of Crime Scenes, Mentions of Rape) – "The name is Sherlock Holmes, and I broke in."

The Wench Is Dead by Chryse (E, 15,915 w., 1 Ch. || Underage, Extreme Dub Con, Flashback, Manipulative Relationship) – “You thought…not just you, Molly too. Probably everyone assumed it. You thought that bad things happened because I used drugs. That I made terrible choices and got myself hurt. And you weren’t wrong, not exactly. You just got it backwards.” What Sherlock put in the box. Part 2 of the Another Country series

Evidence of Human Life by thesardine (E, 16,906 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive Sherlock, Mental Health Issues, Rough Sex, Dubious Consent) – Sherlock's sanity deteriorates while he and John are stranded on a deserted island.

Broken Wings and Cigarettes by solisandluna (NC-17, 20,298 w., 10 Ch. || Violence, Abuse, Rape, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Sherlock Whump, Dark Story) – Sherlock has been missing for two years. So when he is found in a cellar, tortured and raped, how will John help him recover? Can he get over the shock and guilt of seeing his seeing his friend so abused? And can Sherlock be fixed?

A Question of Intent by Mildredandbobbin (E, 22,129 w., 6 Ch. || Omegaverse || Dub Con / Consent Issues, Misunderstandings, Knotting, First Time, Switching, Mating Cycles, Top/Bottom O!Sherlock, Top/Bottom A!John) – Sherlock was on the bed, naked, writhing, tangled in the sheets, on all fours and apparently in the full throes of a Heat. So very not good, the non-lizard part of John's brain was saying -- the enlightened 21st Century, reconstructed Alpha part, the part that supported Omega contra-heat, equality, pro-choice, the Omega rape legislation and general gender liberation. The part that knew Sherlock did not, obviously did not, want to copulate with him and certainly did not want to bond.

Consent by KeelieThompson1 (M, 26,466 w., 11 Ch. || OMC, Rape/Non-Con, Rape Recovery, Sexual Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Developing Relationship, Triggers) – Sherlock has a difficult past regarding sex which John discovers when he tries to change their relationship.

Dubious by mslilylashes (M, 29,907 w., 14 Ch. || Rape/Non-Con, Dub. Con, Abusive Relationships, Victor Trevor) – John says every time Sherlock says 'stop' he will do so immediately. Sherlock knows that there is always a point that most men say they can't stop. The idea that John might be so much more than what Sherlock has come to expect from other men intrigues him, so he begins an experiment in consent. John begins to realise he is being tested, but he doesn't know why. (Does he ever when it comes to Sherlock?) All he knows is that something happened in Sherlock's past to make him think that what he wants or doesn't want doesn't matter in the bedroom. Then the nightmares start. Part 1 of the Dubious series

Lessons in Astronomy Series by CaitlinFairchild (E, 31,164 w. across 3 stories || Angst, Post S3, Grief/Mourning, Mildly DubCon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Physical Abuse, Oral/Anal Sex, Unrequited Love, Pining, Sibling Incest (No Actual Holmescest), Masturbation, Accidental Voyeurism, Drug Addiction, Romance, Dev. Rel., Trust Issues, Happy Ending) – In a different time, a more naive time, Sherlock thought he was the star and John the satellite, circling him in worshipful orbit. He knows now that was never true. John was always the sun, bright and fierce, and Sherlock was the pale, cold moon, his only heat coming from the light he reflected. And then his sun went into supernova. Moriarty said he would burn him and he has, and John is the fire, his rage and grief incinerating Sherlock, burning the heart out of him in the end, turning him into nothing but cinder and ash. And now the supernova is collapsing, a black hole born where there was once warmth and heat and love, and Sherlock is being pulled down, down past the event horizon, into the endless frozen void where nothing can ever escape.

Unsettled by AxeMeAboutAxinomancy (E, 33,879 w., 10 Ch. || HIs Dark Materials AU || Daemons, Dark Themes, Non-Con) – Sherlock's dæmon hadn't settled. Once John realised that, so much made sense. Though so much else didn't, because it practically wasn't possible. Part 1 of the The Utmost Edge of Hazard series

The Half-Life of Love by Calais_Reno (E, 38,751 w., 12 Ch. || Dev. Rel. Angst with Happy Ending, Obsessive / Possessive Sherlock, Different First Meeting, Manipulative Mycroft, Drug Withdrawal, Rehabilitation, Pining, Mild Dub Con, Abusive Parents) – “Maybe we met too soon or at the wrong time, under the wrong circumstances,” said John. Sherlock shrugged. “Hypothesis Contrary to Fact: none of these 'what ifs' happened, so it’s all pointless speculation. We did, in fact, meet at a specific time and place.”

Renegades by augustbird (E, 39,405 w., 12 Ch. || TRF AU, Dubious Consent, Torture, Drug Use) – Sherlock Holmes takes down Moriarty’s syndicate. He also takes John Watson with him. AU of The Reichenbach Fall.

Shadow by MapleleafCameo (M, 40,845 w., 11 Ch. || Rape/Non-Con, Supernatural Elements, Non-Con Kissing, Non-Con Touching, Dub Con, Implied Slavery, BAMF Molly, Angst, Creepy) – Invaders from an alternate universe, another dimension, invaders called Shadows have humanity fighting for their own survival. John, captured by the Shadows, has more to fight for more than he originally thought. Eventual Johnlock.

Defrag by 7PercentSolution (T, 43,748 w., 21 Ch. || Graphics Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Angst, Drug Use, PTSD Sherlock, Memory Palace, Case Fic, Mental Health Issues) – Sherlock's hard-drive needs to be cleaned up; viruses detected, malware files deleted, memory freed up, order restored. Follows on chronologically from Musgrave Blaze, but there will be enough back story to stand alone if you haven't read that yet. An important Part of the Game Theory Series. Part 4 of the Game Theory series

Silence by halloa_what_is_this (T, 44,993 w., 13 Ch. || The Piano Fusion || Victorian Sherlock, Dub Con, Voyeurism, Permanent Mutilation, Johniarty, Mute John) – In 1850, John is a mute young man forced to marry to save his father from indebtedness. His sister as his interpreter and his piano to keep him company, he travels to London to live with his husband James Moriarty. Without John's consent, James sells the piano to his friend Sherlock Holmes, who only asks for lessons from John in return. The lessons turn into a power play between the two when Sherlock proposes a deal: John may earn his piano back one key at a time, certain conditions attached. Part 1 of the Aborted Wings series

Mind the Gap by orphan_account (E, 45,089 w., 6 Ch. || Victor Trevor, Dubious Consent, POV First Person Sherlock, Character Development, Friendship, Pining Sherlock, Fluff, Introspection, Parent Death, Vulnerable Sherlock, Doctor John, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Child Abuse, Implied Sexual Abuse, Domestic Abuse) – An introspective journey through the life and relationships of Sherlock Holmes. "I can hear the bones hum beneath pale and freckled skin, this sack that holds my form together. Bits and pieces that start at the bottom and end at the top, hiding the blood, muscle, fat. Cells, knit together, constantly in motion. They'll live and die, and replicate, until total equilibrium is met."

Vault by masterofall14 (M, 47,766 w., 23/31 Ch. || WiP || Loosely Inspired By Room, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Parentlock / Sherlock Has a Son, PTSD, Eventual Johnlock, Suicide Attempt, Pining John, Sherlock Loves John & Vice Versa, Big Brother Mycroft, Triggers, Creepy Magnussen, Happy Ending) – Jack lives in Room with his Pa, Sherlock. They share everything, except the secret that Jack isn't privy to... Room is in Appledore's vault. Magnussen and the woman his Pa calls the Wicked Witch visit when Jack sleeps and Jack can't explain where the bruising on his Pa's body comes from... But if they get out, how will they both cope after years of imprisonment? Even Sherlock, who can imagine nothing other than the four walls he has known for thirteen years...

The Night Is Darkest by missselene (E, 48,461 w., 8 Ch. || Post-TLD, Extremely Dub Con, S4 Rage Monster John, Insecure Sherlock, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Exploration, Healing, Self Care, Self Acceptance, Sexual Exploration, Casual Sex, Gentle Sex, Sherlock/OMC, Threesome with 2 OMCs, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Communication, Internalized Homophobia, Relationship Negotiation) – Sherlock Holmes would do anything for John Watson... and that includes letting John do whatever he wants to him. What would it take for Sherlock to stand up for himself and finally start taking care of his own needs?

Command Structure by 221b_hound (E, 49,034 w., 16 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post TRF / Not S3 Compliant, Dom/Sub Play, Dom John/Sub Sherlock, Oral/Anal, Anal Fingering, Frottage, Past Child Abuse, Anxiety Attacks, Captain Watson, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective John, Slow Build, PTSD Sherlock, Consensual, Past Dub Con, Rimming) – Sherlock Holmes returns from his hunt to destroy Moriarty’s network. He comes home to John, and at long last they start this thing between them that couldn’t begin while Moriarty threatened them. But Sherlock has returned fractured and suffering anxiety attacks. He thinks he needs discipline - the whip - to help him focus and be strong. But his problems are deeper and run back to a childhood of neglect. John Watson is prepared to be Sherlock’s Captain, but he’s a doctor too. His command style isn’t about pain and subjugation. It’s about care and responsibility: and those concepts go in both directions in Captain Watson’s command structure.

Brotherly Bargain by xenobia4 (E, 50,187+ w., 17/19 Ch. || WiP || Rape/Non-Con Elements, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Abuse, Torture, Blood and Gore, Fisting, Dismemberment, Non-Con Oral, Object Insertion, Watersports) – A violent drug cartel abducts Sherlock Holmes after two of their operations in the UK have been shutdown. They upload the videos of torture online, gaining the attention of both the British government and Mycroft.

Musgrave Blaze by 7PercentSolution (T, 64,527 w., 28 Ch. || Equestrian, Country House, Series One, Murder Mystery, Case Fic, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con) – Mixing ACD canon, Sherlock and John are drawn to the rolling hills of Gloucestershire to investigate the mysterious disappearance of a horse, the death of its trainer, and the theft of a three-day eventing trophy from Musgrave Hall. Multi-chapter case fic that brings back some old memories for both men.

Roommates are for little people by alexxphoenix42 (E, 69,042 w., 14 Ch. || Teen/Unilock || Forced to Share a Bed, Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Fake Relationship, Sherlock is a Prick, Drinking, Inadvertent Drug Use, Family Wedding, Footballer John / Ballet Dancer Sherlock, Frottage, Slow Burn, Mild Dub Con, Cuddling While Sleeping, Slight Homophobia, Posh Boy, Dirty Dancing, Endearments, Nosy FAmily, Bathing Together, Mild Angst, UST/RST, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff) – John was looking forward to seeing his friends back at uni, but a new year brings new complications, not the least of which is a dorm room with only one bed, and a stroppy roommate with an utterly spectacular arse. God, John doesn't need the headache.

Sherlock's Bane by toggledog (E, 70,095 w., 19 Ch. || Post-TRF, Rape/Non-Con, Rape Recovery) – John's friend, DI Toll, is brought onto a case involving murder and the destruction of a Mozart bust. He starts sexually harassing Sherlock. Toll being such a likeable guy, this appears to go unnoticed by everyone. Sherlock, himself just wants to work on the case and not cause trouble for John. However, the harassment starts getting more and more obscene…

Next Right: Welcome to Westbound Rest Area 818 by elwinglyre (E, 73,618 w., 16 Ch. || American Unilock AU || Bunk Beds, Anonymous Sex, Homophobia, Closeted John, Roommates, Angst with Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Music, Rape/Non-Con, Hurt John, BAMF John) – Sherlock Holmes dreams of escape from his smothering family and space to breathe. Studying chemistry at the University of Michigan, he's almost far enough away to fill his lungs. Almost. While John Watson dreams of being a doctor, he also dreams of being with another man. John knows that with hard work and study, he can make the first a reality, but he's certain the second can never be. Until a secret encounter in the dark at Rest Area 818 changes everything. When Sherlock meets his new roommate, John Watson, he sees a man in the closet. Sherlock hides from no one. Except from his own family, a detective inspector who wants his evidence returned, and his secret encounter at Rest Area 818. Setting late 1970s, Michigan, USA. POV third person alternates between John Watson and Sherlock Holmes.

This Is Your Song by agirlsname (E, 79,990 w., 19 Ch. || Moulin Rouge Fusion || Prostitute Sherlock, Poet John, Acting, Singing, Dancing, Writing, Poetry, Musical, Song Fic, Heavy Angst, Unreliable Narrator, Sherlock is French, Love at First Sight, UST, First Kiss/Time, Frottage, Coming in Pants, Anal Sex, Switchlock, Clothed Sex, Crossdressing, Secret Relationship, Forbidden Love, Jealousy, Terminal Illnesses, Grief/Mourning, Breakup/Makeup Sex, Past Drug Use, Attempted Rape, Canon-Typical Violence)– When John Watson is invalided home from the army in 1895, he moves to Paris to rediscover his writing and find a new meaning in life. His old friend Stamford invites him into a group of artist friends, and suddenly John finds himself auditioning to write a show for the famous brothel across the street. There, he meets the most beautiful man he’s ever seen - Sherlock, the star of the Moulin Rouge. But Sherlock is already promised to the investor of the show, the rich Duke Moriarty.

Stranger at the Gate by bendingsignpost (E, 85,190 w., 11 Ch. || Vampire AU || Vampire Sherlock, John with a Sword, Hypnotism, Vampire Sex, Dub-Con, Lying Sherlock, Vampire Puberty) - As far as initiation rites go, kidnapping a human doctor from a defended town ought to seem extreme. When James Moriarty offers him the challenge, Sherlock never considers saying no.

A Study in Slavery by sweetinsane (M, 88,538+ w., 12/? Ch. || WIP || Dark / Slavery AU || ASiP, Angst, Domestic Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Slow Build, Dehumanization, Sexual Slavery, Child Abuse, Master/Slave Dynamics, Dark Content) – John has never owned a slave of his own, but after returning from Afghanistan is awarded one with his pension. A disobedient male slave with way too much troubling history, however, is not what he would have chosen himself.

Fade To Black by twistedthicket1 (M, 93,389 w., 29 Ch. || Split Personality Disorder, Action, Romance, Violence, Implied Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Fluff and Angst, Baskerville, Human Experimentation, PTSD, Implied Self Harm) – John Watson believes one day he'll just fade. That he'll drown in the black spaces of his mind, and that one day he will no longer exist. It's always been like this, the dark spots marking out moments in his life he can't remember. Where for just a moment he's someone else. Having a Dissociative identity disorder, he can't even be entirely sure he's really who he says he is. Then he meets Sherlock Holmes. A brilliant detective who when he looks at you can read your entire life story. John is immediately fascinated and afraid, half-wondering if maybe Sherlock can see the other personalities in him and half terrified of the thought of him finding out. Becoming his flatmate seems at once to be a wonderful and horrible idea. Yet as John's Blackouts become more and more severe and his other personalities begin to truly awaken and show themselves with Sherlock's help, the two soon discover that sometimes even the kindest person can harbour a demon best left untouched inside of them. Because not all of John's other personalities play nicely and some may be hiding secrets best left undisturbed...

A Waste of Breath by Chryse (E, 95,452 w., 25 Ch. || References to Drugs, Dubious Consent, First Time, Friendship / Love, Hurt / Comfort, Angst) – John had always assumed Sherlock was uninterested, untouchable, married to his work. He was wrong on all counts. But when Sherlock embarks on a relationship, John worries that he is in over his head.. .and this time he might be right.

We're All A Little Mad Here by angelblack3 (E, 98,019+ w. across 4 works || Series WiP || Dark AU, Obsessive Behaviour, Stockholm Syndrome, Torture, Kidnapping, Dark Sherlock, Abusive Relationship, Bondage, Aphrodisiacs, Rape/Non-Con, Painplay) – In this universe, Jim got a hold of Sherlock way before he ever met the ones that were meant to save him. Now, they're happy business partners. Though, according to Jim, Sherlock isn't nearly as happy as he could be. He should find someone like Jim found his dear pet Sebby. Sherlock is skeptical, until he finds an army doctor with a psychosomatic limp in a twisted sense of fate.

Riptide Lover by jinglebell (E, 114,090 w., 20 Ch. || Merfolk & Victorian AU || Mermaid Sherlock, Human John, BAMF John/Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Mild Gore, Dubious Interspecies Consent, Stockholm Syndrome, Dark Romance, Dubcon and Morality, Rough Sex, Abstract Mentions of Rape, Size Queen, Switchlock, Foot Fetish) – The year is 1866. When John becomes swept overboard, he never expects to encounter a living creature of myth. When the merman absconds with John, the lost sailor must use every tool at his disposal to convince Sherlock not to kill him. But it seems that killing John Watson is not what the deadly, beautiful creature has in mind at all...

Thirst by bittergreens (E, 122,257 w. || Post TGG, POV John, Angst, Pining John, UST/RST, Masturbation, PTSD, Sexual Fantasy, First Kiss/Time, Nightmares, Frottage, Friends to Lovers, BAMF John, Mildly Dub Con, Hurt/Comfort, Oral Sex, Rain Sex, Voice Kink/Porn, Loud Sex, Rimming, Fingering, Dirty Talk, Case Fic, Baths / Bath Sex, Mild Gore, Psychological Torture, Fluff, Slow Burn) – When John realizes he has feelings for Sherlock and decides he must keep those feelings secret at all costs, the resulting tension might bring Baker Street to the ground.

"Merry Christmas" I wrapped it up and sent it with a note saying "I love you" by starrysummernights (E, 135,132+ w., 30/31 Ch. || WIP || Post S4, Slow Burn, Mary is Not Nice, Christmas, Fluff, Smut, Angst, Parentlock, Past Torture / Rape) – John has moved back into 221B with his daughter Rosie after Mary was killed, but things are not exactly comfortable between him and Sherlock. After everything that has happened, they are trying to become friends again...and maybe something more. What better time than the Christmas season?! Takes place after TLD.

A Little Help from my Friends by Ttime42 (E, 140,776 w., 28 Ch. || BDSM AU || Switchlock, Fluff, Verbal Abuse, Bondage, Hospitalization, Military Kink, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Consensual, Punishment, Violence, Blood, Knives, Past Drug Use, Dub Con, Masturbation, Case Fic, PDA, Stalking, John’s Giant Junk, Aftercare, Kidnapping, Happy Ending) – In a world where everyone identifies as either a dominant or a submissive, Sherlock is having a rough time moving on from a bad relationship and has sworn off doms forever. John has recently returned to London from war and has a fortuitous run in with an old friend in a park. Sherlock and John's lives are changed forever because of that chance meeting, and they'll both find their way through life with a little help from their friends.

The Frost Is All Over by Chryse (E, 148,518 w., 21 Ch. || Pining Love, Implied / Referenced Rape / Non-Con, Period Typical Homophobia, Virginity, Teenlock, Major Illness, Implied / Referenced Child Abuse) - John was brave and clever and loyal, a commoner who longed for an exciting life. Sherlock was dashing and brilliant and passionate, an Earl’s son who longed to solve crimes. Being a Tale of Glorious Adventures, Love Letters, Treachery, Longing, Secret Identities, Deathbed Confessions, First Kisses, Daring Escapes, and True Love.

Failing Upward by elwinglyre (E, 204,847 w., 40 Ch. || Parallel Universes || Rape/Non-Con, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Magical Realism, Science Fiction, Supernatural Sex, Non-Con Unwanted Frottage, Memory Loss, First Time, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Johnn, Friends to Lovers, First Person POV John) – When John Watson, a young med student who supports himself as a florist-by-day and musician-by-night, finds he is heir to supernatural powers that others would kill to possess, John’s life transforms into a mixture of comedy and terror. As he fights to understand what’s real and what’s imagined, he travels from one alternate universe to another. Along the way he finds the key was there all along: his brilliant best friend, Sherlock Holmes, the man who becomes the touchstone for all that John is and ever will be. Set in current day cities and countryside of Michigan, this story blends romance, magical realism and science fiction with humor. Part 1 of the Failing Upward Universe series

A River Without Banks by Chryse (E, 203,286 w., 23 Ch. || Alternate Realities || Angst with Happy Ending, Depression, Suicide, Violence, Torture, Rape/Non-Con Elements, PTSD, Serial Killers, Virgin Sherlock) – "You love this, being Sherlock Holmes."He had once. When had it all gone so wrong?

The Jewel in the Tower by PoppyAlexander (E, 207,079 w., 39 Ch. || Dystopian AU, Violence, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Mild Dub Con, One World Government, Class Issues, Assassin John / Geisha Sherlock, Self Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Espionage, Miscommunication, Sexual Fantasy, Masturbation, Letters/Texting, Phone Sex, Infidelity, First Time, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Injury Recovery, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Scars, Misgendering, Happy Endings) – In a contemporary dystopia, Unity is peace – despite the fact unsanctioned information, illicit currency, and every sort of danger flows unchecked in the world's pleasure districts. John Watson, a weary hired gun, is assigned by the mysterious Mentor to investigate a subversive element lurking in the Icehouse, the world's most famous House of Repose. As accustomed as he is to dealing with the unexpected, John is nevertheless woefully unprepared to meet the gem of the Ice house, Xie, the world renowned "drashaskaya," the living work of art after which all other drashas are modeled. In sumptuous suites, amid trailing puddles of silk and fervent whispers in the night, John soon learns that nothing is as it seems in the floating world of London's pleasure district. (PUBLISHED AS “At Night in the Floating World”)

Conductivity Series by liriodendron (E, 207,367 w. across 7 works || TRF / Post TRF, ReunionCanon Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Romance, Sexual Tension, First Kiss/Time, Synesthesia, Power Dynamics, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Case Fic, Est. Rel., References to Drug Use, Homophobic Language, Religious Content, Intercrural Sex, Unrequited Love, Angst, References to Suicide, Injury, Anal, Dub. Con, BDSM, Suicidal Thoughts, Violent Sex, Suicide, Grief/Mourning, Break Up) – In which Sherlock Holmes locates his heart, John Watson learns what it's like to burn, and there is no darkness that cannot be made bright.

Deflowered - Director’s Cut by Lorelei_Lee (E, 328,535 w., 51 Ch. || Mafia / Mob AU || Rape/Non-Con, Dub-Con, Boss John/Rentboy Sherlock, Bottomlock, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous John, Prostate Milking, Sounding, Anal Beads/Plug, Anal Sex / Fingering, Spanking, Begging, Blow Jobs, Riding Crops, Begging, Romance, Desperation, Minor Character Death, Implied Self Harm, Violence) – It should have been strictly business. Being a Mafia boss with a sadistic sexual streak, John had long since realised that his playthings were in it for the money only. Being a masochistic rent boy, Sherlock seemed too good to be true. Little did they know…

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #non con #dub con #my fic recs #rape cw #Anonymous #long post #consent

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moos-cow · 3 years

Text

Gemini

Chapter 1b

No sooner, a hand wrapped around her wrist and yanked her back. “Run!”

A tall figure in a green silk top hat had crept behind her. He pulled her through the nearby door, and down flights of stairs. They ran, only to emerge to what seemed like an empty town hall of some kind.

“Wait-” She stopped to ask, but alas, his sharp tongue cut her off.

“Shut up and run, idiot. Questions later.” He grunted as he pushed the heavy doors open, leading her out to the moonlit streets. A familiar face waited by a carriage nearby.

“Quickly, Hatter. We need to get her out of here.” The white-haired man motioned her to get inside the carriage. As soon as she got in, he followed. The Hatter jumped up to the driver’s box upfront, taking them away in a rumble.

Long after, the rapid clopping of the horses fell to a steady easy tempo.

“Sir, I believe this is yours.” She finally broke the silence and extended out a hand, revealing the golden pocket watch. “You must’ve dropped it when you ran into me.”

“It is!” His eyes widened at the antique, carefully taking it with two hands. “I owe you my deepest gratitude, miss. This watch means the world to me.”

“My, I completely forgot to introduce myself! Blanc Lapin, my friends call me the White Rabbit.” he smiled and held out a hand- one of which she took to shake.

“Amaya. Amaya Chan.”

After briefly introducing herself, Amaya partially drew some of the curtains of the coach, curiously inspecting the outdoors. Street lights illuminated the empty cobblestone-layered streets with a soft pale blue glow.

“If I may, Blanc. But, where exactly are we? And what is going on?”

“Are you familiar with the book Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland?”

“The children’s novel? Very much. Yes. What about it?”

“Well, you see, you’re in Wonderland, Amaya. The Land of Magic. Cradle, to be exact.”

She stared at him in disbelief, looking for any hint of humour. You must be kidding me. Instead, he just reached up to fix his glasses.

She tried to recall the events and details from earlier. The pocket watch. The hole. Hatter. White Rabbit. Magic. Alice. Although they might've made sense on their own, there are still too many loopholes to be able to conclude that what Blanc’s statement was indeed true.

"No, no, no. This must be some kind of themed park in London, right? Because look-- it doesn't make sense. If it were just like in the book-" Blanc pressed a finger on her lips, instantly shutting the lady up.

"Amaya, truth, and history both have curious ways of being distorted in the telling. Of course, here, there aren't any talking animals, ghastly beasts, or armies of cards." he chuckled at the mere idea.

“Still, it's impossible.”

Blanc drew the curtains on the other side of the coach, giving her a full view of a fountain with a giant sapphire crystal floating above it, glistening in the moonlight.

“As impossible as it may seem, this world exists parallel to yours. But unlike yours, our way of life isn’t governed by the laws of nature and science-- rather, by the laws of magic, usually powered by Magic Crystals.”

Much to her dismay, the idea of Jonah’s cuffs popped in her mind. She rubbed her wrists as she recalled the numbing feeling brought by being bound. And that light, that warm light that came out of her hand, it felt all too real to be called fake.

“So the cuffs from earlier, the ones from that guy, Jonah. I assume they were powered by some magic?”

“Indeed. They were lined with crystals, meant to be unbreakable, that is until you came along.”

She shook her head, “I’m not following.”

“Nobody in this land can nullify magic that has been cast. Only people from your world, the Land of Reason, can.” He began to chuckle lightly. “Some time ago, a young girl with the same power as you lost her way here.”

“Alice.”

“Indeed. Little Alice was quite the mischief-maker, running around the streets of Cradle, breaking magic spells left and right.” He smiled from ear to ear, reminiscing the past in amusement.

“Cradle-” She asks inquisitively. “You mentioned that we’re in Cradle.”

“Yes.” Blanc pulled out a map from his bag, opening it before her.

“Cradle is a military state ruled by two armies, the Red and the Black. The West is ruled by the Red, while the East is ruled by the Black. We’re currently here, the Central Quarter, an area sandwiched between the Red and Black territory. This area also functions as the country’s political and economic hub.”

“The place where you were caught is called the Garden. That is where Cradle’s most powerful figures gather for debates and trials.” he continued as he pointed to the center of the map. “Only the Chosen Thirteen of both armies, and myself-- the official record keeper-- are allowed to enter.”

“Well, that explains a lot.” She threw her head back, realizing that she had just trespassed into one of the most highly secured areas of this land.

“Edgar Bright-- he addressed himself as the Jack of Hearts. What does that mean?”

“Ah yes, the Chosen Thirteen are ranked from King, Queen, all the way down to the Ace. Edgar, being the Jack of Hearts, is third in command in the Red Army.”

“I see. Much like a deck of cards.”

“Right again. Although the Ace is technically the lowest in rank, they’re often in charge of unusual assignments, placing them in a league of their own.”

The carriage fell quiet as she sat back to process the information at hand. She took a glance at the white rabbit, only to see his uneasiness unfolding before her.

“Blanc. Is everything alright?”

He let out an exasperated sigh and began to explain, “As you may have noticed, Amaya, I was running late for tonight’s council meeting since I had some business to attend to in your world. It was during my brief absence that the two armies decided to declare war.”

Once again, the tension rose and the coach fell silent.

Wow. So, to my worst of luck, I fell right in the meeting of two armies that have just declared war.

“Oh. I'm sorry to hear that, Blanc... But, how do I get home then?” She carefully says through her stoic expression.

“There’s a hole in the Garden that connects the two worlds. All you have to do is to bring something from the Land of Reason with you and jump into that hole.” His voice softened, almost pitiful, as he looked at the moon.

“But?” She interjected, cutting him from his gaze.

“It only opens for just a few hours at the night of the full moon...”

"I see-" She closed her eyes, and with a deep sigh, she resigned herself to the idea of being stuck in another world for a month.

A few moments later, the carriage came to an abrupt stop and loud poundings on the carriage door rambled them.

“Open the door, Blanc. We’re looking for the girl.”

“Looks like the Red Army is here to give us an official greeting.” Blanc frowned

“Get out of the carriage, Blanc. I’m not in the mood to pull you guys out myself.”

Blanc took her hand in his and led her out of the carriage with him.

True enough, two men clad in different red and white uniforms stood before them, and another two marched their way behind her, immediately locking her hands against her back.

"Let me go!" She squirmed. In an attempt to break free, she managed to kick one straight in the knee. He grunted in pain, but their grip never faltered. Alas, it only got tighter.

“Sorry, Blanc. Beauty and the Beast sent us to get her.” the red-haired soldier before them spoke.

“Kyle, Zero, isn’t it unbecoming for two gentlemen such as yourselves to intimidate and frighten a young woman like this?” Blanc, being the gentleman that he is, beamed at them a smile.

“Then allow me to apologize if we’ve frightened you, Alice.” The black-haired soldier spoke. He waved his hand to the other soldiers to signal her release.

“I am the Ace of Hearts, Zero. Our Queen, Jonah, wishes to meet you.”

"Seven of Hearts, Kyle.”

“Look,” Zero looked at her straight in the eyes, “We’re here on official orders. Jonah absolutely needs to speak with you. He’s promised not to be as rough as he was back at the Garden.”

She turned to Blanc in hesitation.

“If you don’t have any reservations, it might be best if you go along with them, Amaya.” he rested a hand on his chest, “As Official Record Keeper of Cradle, I mustn't get in the middle of political affairs. Though, personally, I trust Kyle and Zero. But still, the decision is yours.”

“Promise to let me go after speaking with your Queen,” She demanded from the two officers.

“I promise.” Zero nodded.

It wasn't like she was in a spot with the luxury to refuse anyway. In a land she knew little to nothing of, agreeing to them would be the most logical and practical thing to do.

"Fine. I'll go." She nodded "Wait. Let me get my stuff."

She turned around and retrieved her bag from the carriage. But as she approached, she noticed the two soldiers sizing her up from behind. She can take them down if she had wanted to, but logic overtook the situation at hand.

She turned around and glared at them as they towered before her, "Touch me again and you'll get more than an injured knee, boy."

Their eyes widened at the little lady’s threat as they parted, and she-- she made her way to mount Zero's horse.

“Hold on tight now, Amaya.”

With that note, they rode fast through town, crossed a large bridge, and galloped through villages and villas that looked like Red territory. Soon, they arrived at an enormous white, red, and gold manor.

“We’re here.” Zero pulled on the reins to halt, dismounting himself and Amaya from the gentle animal “Welcome to the Red Army Headquarters, Amaya.”

“Wait here while I go get Jonah.” Zero left with not a single word more.

“Yeah. You go do that. I’m going to grab a nightcap.” Kyle yawned and stretched from behind.

“Hey you, keep an eye on her.” He ordered the soldier nearby before helping the limping soldier to the infirmary.

Minutes stretched to what seemed like hours. She reached for her phone in her bag, 3:23 am. No signal. The soldier still stood behind her in attention.

“This saucy Queen surely doesn’t give a damn about the time,” Amaya mumbled to herself as she kept the phone again. Tired, cold, and hungry, irritation was slowly creeping up on her.

“Was that a complaint against Queen Jonah?!” the gate guard shouted, furious.

“Oh please, I mustn’t have been the first one.” She rolled her eyes and replied sarcastically, “besides, that wasn’t even close to a decent complaint. Do you want to hear a better one?”

“Shut up you impudent fool! How dare you insult our Queen of Hearts!” The guard loomed over her from behind, cracking his knuckles in the process.

Finally, some fun.

Just as he raised a hand to hit her, 2 voices called out from the gates.

“Hey, you! Why don’t you pick on someone your own size!”

“Get away from her!”

Two soldiers clad in black and navy blue came running, knocking the gate guard out and away from her. Unfortunately, a then roaming guard caught the action, turned around, and frantically sprinted back to the barracks.

“The Black Army has come to attack! Sound the alarm! Form Ranks!” moments later, bells started to ring from all around, and red army soldiers slowly began emerging from around the barracks.

“So much for sneaking in, Seth.” the purple-haired soldier gave out a resigned sigh, tugging on the scarf around his neck.

“Well, at least we saved sweet Alice here from that smelly old guard now. Didn’t we, Luka?”

“Guys, I think it's time to run.” She tugged on their sleeves, watching the red army soldiers approach them with complete spunk.

With the two officers by her sides, they raced towards the gates. As she scanned the area ahead for incoming guards, an odd glimmer caught her eyes. Atop the gated entrance was a man loading a rifle, grinning from ear to ear.

What in the world?

BANG BANG. BANG BANG.

The red soldiers dispersed as a shower of bullets came raining down on them, and a thick cloud of white smoke provided cover.

“Fenrir!” Seth and Luka called out.

“Did you think I’d let you two have all the fun?” Fenrir jumped off from the top of the gates as soon as they passed. “Get out of here!”

Amaya and the two soldiers continued to run farther from the gates. The air behind them was filled with the thunderous sounds of fighting, gunfire, and Fenrir’s insane laughter. Soon, the voices of the red army soldiers faded as they turned to a corner.

“Fenrir, that’s enough!” Luka shouted from where they stood to catch their breaths.

Fenrir caught up, holstered his pistols, and appeared completely unfazed. She looked behind him to inspect the chaos, every last Red soldier was down on the ground.

“Did you kill them?” she managed to ask through heavy breaths. Endurance really wasn't her best suit.

“Literally? Nah. I would never.” Fenrir chuckled, patting his holstered pistols. “The bullets were made from Magic Crystals. So one hit from these, and off to dreamland they go.”

“Right, right. Crystals.” She shook her head, quickly reminding herself of the magical situation she was currently caught up in.

Not long after, the faint pounding of boots can be heard from behind. Another wave of Red soldiers was coming straight towards them.

“You just had to go and showboat your way through the Red Army, didn’t you?” Seth blatantly scolded Fenrir.

“Oh, c'mon! Ya ought to be thanking me for saving your butts back there.” Fenrir snapped back.

God. They’re just like kids.

“Shut up and run-- now,” Luka demanded.

He led them running through back alleys and side streets within the Red Territory. The trio’s bickering continued even until they scrambled into the carriage.

The adrenaline rush from this evening’s events immediately faded as she slumped down into the seat. She was feeling lightheaded and was unusually exhausted beyond belief. This was more draining than any other assignment before.

She quietly studied them. Albeit clad in differently designed uniforms, they all had a similar navy blue and silver band on each of them, embroidered with a certain crest. “Excuse me, are you Black Army officers?”

“Oh my, aren’t you sharp!” Seth clapped his hands in exclamation.

“I’m Seth Hyde, 10 of Spades!”

“Luka Clemence. Jack.”

“Fenrir Godspeed, Ace of Spades. It's nice to meet you, Alice.”

“Amaya-- it’s Amaya, not Alice. Sorry.” She said, not wanting to be called another name. “Uh, thank you for that.”

“Don't you worry about that, sweetie. It's all in a day’s work.” Seth gently placed his hand on hers as they took off into the night. Over time, the sky started to burn a bright crimson in the far east.

#ikemen revolution fanfiction #ikemen fanfiction #ikemen kakumei #ikemen revolution #ikemen series #ikemen original character #gemini

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shinygoku · 4 years

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Liar Revealed! A Bug’s Life Essay

A Bug’s Life is my favourite Pixar movie and thus, it turns out I have a lot of thoughts about it. In this case, what was originally my interpretation soley in response to points I’ve seen raised on YouTube and TV Tropes has spun off into this mega essay.... all focused on a single scene.

But hey, it works with one of the film’s main messages; that something big grows out of a small idea!

The scene is the most notorious in the movie, at least from what I’ve seen, and I’m inclined to agree it’s the weakest part of this giant clock. But why is it like that and how could it have been handled better?

As I’ve said, this is actually my favourite (albeit not what I consider their very best) of Pixar’s output, and I wouldn’t have been able to go into such depth without a huge amount of love for the finished product, flawed as it may be.

It’s also possible I’ll write a more generalised thing on what I love about the film in the future, but I won’t promise anything o7;; 🐜

The Lie is ...laid

Actually, I should talk about two scenes. First is where the Lie is established:

After the humourous mutual misunderstanding between the Circus Bugs and Flik, the former are quite horrified to discover they’re expected to fight the Grasshoppers off themselves instead of putting on a show. Ahh, that old classic~

But no, they want out and Flik, who has just been informed by them during the welcoming shindig, is understandably rattled and despairing over this addition to his list of failures. He says the fallout will not only brand him, but his hypothetical grandchildren as a Terrible Loser and even says he’s as good as dead as soon as the other ants find out. Owch.

Before things get too heavy, the focus shifts around until The Bird becomes the main immediate threat. The whole Bird scene leads the ants to become convinced the Circus Bugs are really amazing warriors and, as this is the first time in what could be years that they have a crowd cheering for them it’s the success and Flik’s later idea to make a Giant Mech in the shape of a Bird instead of planning any actual combat that convinces them to play along.

So, that’s the lie set up and solidified. Now for the eventual fallout:

During a fun party after the Bird has been built, an ominous force arrives... PT Flea, the Jerkass ringmaster who had fired the Circus Bugs. This local bug promptly ruins everything by literally shining a light on the Circus Bugs and their nature as such, and then Flik is accidentally outed as the Guy Who Thought Up The Bird.

The Liar Revealed Trope

I would link the TV Tropes article here, but as tungle doesn’t like external sites I’ll just quote the more relevant parts from it:

“Liar Revealed in the Internal Reveal of The Lie, the facade maintained by a protagonist which provides the primary dramatic tension for the plot. This usually sets up the third act where the protagonists are forced to deal with the consequences of the lie on top of any external threats.

There are a few usual ways this ends up. If the lie was for selfish reasons, the protagonist will doubtless face the wrath of those he lied to, but along the way end up having a change of conscience, and try to redeem themselves through good acts and An Aesop about "what really matters". If the lie was well-intentioned, the protagonist may still find that others turn their backs on him, but go on to carry through with what they said they'd do anyway, proving themselves a hero after all.

It's worth noting that this trope is particularly easy and common to misuse, either in the tendency of the protagonist to Maintain the Lie for reasons that make no sense except for dramatic tension or of the deceived to turn against the protagonist for the deception in spite of other considerations that should by all rights absolve him.”

And in the folder there’s a specific entry for this film:

A Bug's Life has Flik supposedly finding "warrior bugs" to save his colony after misconstruing a situation. When he realizes his mistake (that they're circus performers rather than trained warriors), he's forced to keep the lie going in order to not cause panic among the other ants. Once the colony finds out, it inevitably results in one of the most painfully Played Straight examples of this trope in animation history...

As you can see there, the dislike for this scene has seeped into the entry. Of course, TV Tropes is pretty informal and I like that, but it’s telling that this is a general perception.

Continue reading below the Cut! ✂

What I don’t like

So, I think my main issue with the scene boils down to... it’s very nebulous and unclear as to what’s so bad about Flik lying. Between the Council, the Queen and Atta, there seems to be a jumbled, confusing motive traffic jam that somehow results in what TV Tropes refers to the Liar Reveal Trope being played “Painfully Straight”.

But uhh, what’s the problem? Yes, Flik lied, but we know that wasn’t something he’d planned on doing, it was his attempt at damage control. The other ants don’t know that part, but still, what are they objecting to, specifically? That the Circus bugs are Circus bugs? That the Bird Plan was Flik’s? That.... lying is treated at an absolute moral failing regardless of the circumstances??

The council dudes are like: “OH WHAAAAT, the defence plan was by Clowns??” [No, it was Flik] “OH WHAAAT, we don’t have our mafia money prepared what if Hopper finds out we nearly sicced a fake bird on him!?”

The part about objecting to Clowns drafting the defence plans is actually the more reasonable explanation, but I guess they presumed warriors habitually made Decoy Bird plans instead of fighting themselves? There’s already a hole in their objections but it only gets worse.

The Queen is like: “Wow Flik evidently you’re a self serving prick. Anyway the best thing to do is pretend this never happened and no we’re not going to tell Hopper.”

Why the fuck would that happen? ‘Oh sorry Hopper we got sidetracked doing a ...thing... so we’re still picking your food no please don’t break my legs’

But also, why THE FUCK is this the plan? Some ruler you are, you old prune. ‘We have the bird all made and ready to go but oops the idea came from a DIRTY LIAR so we’re going to return to the doomed harvesting racket even though we’ve been set an outrageous amount and we can’t possibly hope to catch up and even if we had been picking the food the entire time it was established earlier on we won’t have time for our supplies on top of all that.’

Fucking.... astonishing lack of logic. YOU MORONS HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE, GO WITH THE BIRD! Flik himself says something to a similar effect lol

But noooooo, his arguably selfish lie [which is more Omitting the truth once he knew it, really] has forever doomed everything, apparently. Honestly it comes across more like they just hate Flik and see anything he invents as doomed to fail, so the second the truth emerges that he spearheaded the Mech Bird they dismiss it as a lost cause. Even though everyone worked together to build it, and Flik’s inventions weren’t the issue but him being awkward and clumsy. But seeing how Flik’s mere presence in his first scene seemed to drive the Council members into a quivering fury, it really does feel like their objections are from them refusing to give him a chance.

And then there’s Princess Atta. Hoo Boy.

In this scene, she comes off as being ridiculously vindictive, petty and hypocritical. This applies to the Council too, but it’s more galling coming from Atta as by now she’s realised that Flik gets a lot of flak [yay wordplay] from the others and she had resolved to give him more credit. BUT OOPS, that didn’t last!

She takes the Lying thing so personally, acting like he was cheating on her or something. “You lied to MeEeEee” well golly gee whiz, was there any particular reason why he would tell you the truth? Other than his rather obvious crush on you, that is? Cause that would still be a weird reason, seeing how the ‘lie’ was after he’d finally got a bit of decent treatment from the others, why would he wanna upset the apple cart?

He probably feared coming out and confessing to Atta [or anyone else] that they’d lose all faith in him and scrap a valid plan that was the only way out of the grasshopper racket mess. Which would be a bit silly and probably the result of someone with low self esteem and confidence issues overthinking the situation but it’s Exactly what actually happens!

It wasn’t a personal slight against you, Princess! To quote Helen Parr: THIS IS NOT! ABOUT! YOU!!

And wooow, you must be awfully chilly up there on your high horse, Miss “Lied to Flik to get rid of him earlier in the film”! Did you ever feel like fessing up? Like ‘hmm I’ve grown much fonder of this doofus, maybe I should be honest with him before engaging with some more light flirting’ ? Maybe if you had, he woulda been honest in return!

I don’t even see why she and the Council bothered lying about their Snipe Hunt ploy, seeing how now they act like he crossed a moral event horizon. Why even bother making a phoney baloney decoy idea to get him away, when they clearly dislike him enough to play the Brutally Honest card without fretting over his feelings. They coulda just ordered him to stay in a corner away from interfering but instead they’re willing to risk his life on a wild goose chase.

...And she then Banishes him! For what?? Lying? About what, the circus bugs or the bird plan? Both?? It really feels like her taking undue personal offence and the Council hating him and the Queen being old and senile.

So yeah, wow, this scene has what I think is the Unintended side effect of making me hate the stupid jerkface Ant colony as every named ant in it except for Dot fucking suck and throw Flik under a bus the second they deem him to be untrustworthy. In spite of, like, that the plan itself was solid and that the Circus Bugs have all been proven to be Good Eggs. They don’t give him a chance to explain and made their own bed to lie in, so I feel dark joy and satisfaction when the grasshoppers do arrive and kick them around some more.

Wow gee, if only you dumb ass ants had some sort of already made contraption to fall back on?

Why is it like this?

I can only make guesses here, be warned!

From what I’ve gathered of an older version of the story, mostly via Wikipedia, I kinda feel like the exposing would have fit that take better. In the beta version of the story, instead of Flik the lead would have been “Red”, who was a red ant and circus bug from the start. The first draft Circus lot woulda been out to scam the ants initially and I guess would have grown genuine fondness with time. The idea of an outsider flim flamming his way into the good books and later being exposed makes the overblown outrage a lot more understandable. But that’s my hypothesis for the direction they ultimately didn’t go in. Also look at how Red looks like a fuckboi here:

But in the final version, Red doesn’t exist! Flik is a part of the colony from the get go, but also apart from it cause no one likes him as, again, his ideas were good but poorly executed and he seemed to be a hindrance. But the ants should at least see that Flik is genuine in his attempts, that he’s trying his best and they should maybe cut him some slack.

The way the ants have their knickers in a twist doesn’t gel so well with the “Well meaning screwup” angle, especially compared to a possible “Opportunistic so-and-so who doesn’t have real attachments to the colony” route.

Also it may be worth noting up there where I put a TV Tropes excerpt, I bolded the relevant half of the run down, but it seems the other half applies much more to this first draft. Interesting...

So I don’t know, but I got the idea that the scene in the movie is basically a holdover from earlier that didn’t get sufficiently updated. The Liar Revealed Scene is the first thing I’d change if I were rewriting the script, and I might go back and change it again after other parts had been redone too, cause the story needs to flow from point A to point B etc. smoothly or else viewers will get annoyed and point it out in Youtube videos or overly long tumblr text posts.

How could it be fixed?

I’m not saying I’m sitting on the perfect idea of a rewrite. But the main thing is what I already touched on, the jarring disconnect between what happens and how the stupid ants respond.

Like, Atta’s sudden grabbing of the Jerkass and Idiot Balls in this scene. Wouldn’t it have been better if she was instead unsure and conflicted? She had lied to Flik earlier and, unlike the Council, was shown to actually realise Flik Has Feelings Too and apologised for the general lack of faith. She didn’t come clean about the Snipe Hunt Lie, so that could be weighing on her during this scene, maybe she would have been the only Council member to Not want to kick him out but felt pressured into it and hasn’t got into the groove of being the Future Queen enough to pull rank and talk them down from being hate filled twats. Maybe someone will mention the flirting that had been happening as muddying her judgement?

That’s my main idea, compare that with her barging in and taking undue personal offence and shooing him off. She’s supposed to feel like she’s doomed to fail too, so her facing a moral dilemma and falling on the wrong side of the fence could tie into that! (To be honest, her arc is kinda undercooked so hey, I’m killing two birds with one stone here!)

Flik being banished at all is a casualty of The Narrative, that he and the Circus Bugs have gotta go away temporarily for the finale to be cooler and more exciting. It’s a Necessary Weasel of writing and you’ll find them in every story ever made. Sometimes things have gotta happen cause Story Structure. The trick is having them more organic and concealed.

So yeah, have the Old Fogeys be in the wrong [which is so far unchanged] but also the majority of the ‘voting’. Make it difficult for Atta to choose between loyalty to the colony as a whole and her sense of duty versus trusting in Flik, who she now knows to always have his heart in the right place. She comes close to standing up for him and herself, but ultimately falters and gets pressured into the call made in the movie. She’s still ultimately responsible as leaders are, but in a much more sympathetic way.

Summation

This got way longer than I had initially imagined, and that’s even after I cut stuff in the editing process! Let’s quickly review the three main points I’m trying to make.

The Issue with the scene - A big song and dance is made over The Lie, but no reason why it’s such a terrible thing is offered. A perfectly sound plan is dismissed nonsensically.

Suspected reasoning for the writing - The tone matches a potential alternate story much better, where someone would have lied for self serving purposes instead of for the greater good.

A suggestion for a rewrite - Make it much more nuanced and fitting the character arcs. Give the characters a reason to react the way they do and have different responses per person. If the ants are going to drop the Bird plan, at least offer a more viable alternate route than going back to what wasn’t working before.

Does it really matter?

Well, I don’t expect a 22 year old film to suddenly get a rewrite, no. And I maintain that it’s a real gem which deserves much higher praise with the other Good Pixars instead of being so constantly overlooked.

Part of what spurred me to think about the scene and what I’d alter is seeing it referred to as ‘Kinda Bad’ in a youtube video that was talking about another Liar Reveal scene in another movie, and that is a bad take, but the point about how clunky this part is isn’t wrong. I don’t want people to dismiss the whole, beautiful image cause one section of it doesn’t vibe!

It doesn’t ruin the picture, but when people have something negative to say it’s this which is the magnet. And I’m kinda guilty of doing the same thing here, haha. But I wanted to really dissect and examine it, to figure out why it’s like that and to guess how simple it may be to rework. It’s bittersweet, but there ain’t such a thing as a perfect movie.

This has been fun for me to go into though, and it’s nice to get thoughts out from just swirling around inside my head, so even if barely anyone sees and makes it through this whole dissertation, I’m glad I wrote it out. It’s a funny way to derive enjoyment from the bumpy part of a beloved movie, but hey, I’ll take it~

#A Bug's Life #Liar Revealed Trope #Pixar #Disney Pixar #Disney #CutCat writes a very long essay

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ronnytherandom · 4 years

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Accidental Animated Film Week, or Watch Me Continue To Know Nothing About Media Analysis While I Liberally Abuse The Semicolon In An Attempt To Sound Smart

18/1/2021: Hotel Transylvania Lots of fun but this is a weird one, varies drastically in some strange ways. The comedy takes hit and miss to extremes, simultaneously being laugh out loud hilarious and possessing moments of ungodly cringe. The pacing is unbalanced with the first half feeling awkward, taking a while to really get into; the latter much too fast and not taking the necessary time, some scenes seeming to serve their function as minimally as possible. This metronome of quality exists primarily in these respects and is quite noticeable, but doesn’t ruin the experience and I think that’s testament to just how good the rest of it can be, though there are still caveats. The animation is fantastic, incredibly expressive and creates truly hilarious physical comedy, and I feel this is to be expected of a Genndy Tartakovsky film, I grew up with and deeply appreciate his animated features. The emotional core of the story really begins to hit in the latter half and is very effective though the Zing concept I take issue with the name because it just sounds too silly without being humorous; its just a weird little gripe, the word zing annoys me. That said I was genuinely invested in this love story which is a feat, I’m not a romantic person at all. The acting is generally very good, I enjoy the expanded cast and Adam Sandler is excellent but Andy Samberg’s Johnny has an accent that gets on my nerves and feels like he’s being a bit too heavy handed with it. Again, just a little gripe. The message is clear and heartfelt, strange as it seems to make the message for the parents of the features target audience it still works and resembles in parts the “dadification” that’s been occurring in media (especially video games) over the past decade. Ultimately, it’s a good time so long as you can deal with a few groan inducing moments and a little strangeness.

19/1/2021: Princess Mononoke Holy shit, why haven’t I watched this sooner. Transcendentally good! My new favourite film, an absolutely incredible achievement. For fear of wading into sub v dub controversy the English dub is good though I’m definitely going to watch it subbed at some point. Its Studio Ghibli, everyone knows that Miyazaki runs a fantastic operation, thus the art and animation is faultless. There are moments where every single frame is a true work of art. Induces nostalgia though I’ve never seen it before, the art style and tone of the soundtrack are endemic to the late 90s and remind me of the animation from my childhood. The message is also wonderfully nuanced, focusing less on Humanity’s responsibility for the natural world but rather a reconciliation between the ambition of humanity and the life of our world through respect and veneration of that which we’re dependent on to survive. I love the world so much; I think one of this film’s pinnacle achievements is conveying the impression of a deep living world with relatively little worldbuilding. Just watch it aight, everyone needs to watch it. Fucking Incredible.

20/1/2021: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (rewatch)

Very Fun. Powerful nostalgia, I think I saw this literally hundreds of times as a child, may have had the whole thing memorised, and have always been a huge fan of the SpongeBob series. Even despite that I think there’s a lot of quality here. Pretty much every aspect of the film is enjoyable and well done, even if I think the moments featuring real people are kind of awkward. The gags and humour mostly hold up but I don’t think they have aged so well as the original run of the series, but there’s not much as can live up to that standard. Has a little to say about being a goofball, but ultimately its all about the gags for me with this one.

21/1/2021: Nausicaa: Valley of The Wind

Magnificent. Meaningfully very similar to Princess Mononoke, not quite as good, but still very worthwhile. I really like the mid-century sci fi vibe going on here and think the worldbuilding is excellent, though some of the expository dialogue is a little clumsy. I imagine there’s a little bit of nuance lost in the dub but cannot be certain as I don’t understand Japanese. That said, the voice acting is generally good. The art is magnificent, as it is wont to be in Studio Ghibli films; or in this case the proto-studio-Ghibli-film. That every culture has its distinct style is one of my favourite things, amongst which rank the Ohmu, Nausicaas glider and most of all Teto. Look at his little tongue! Most of all I love the ecosystem that arises from the polluted earth, how the earth cleans itself, it is a spectacular thought. I have an interesting thought about the soundtrack, specifically during actions sequences. The musical quality is good, especially the main theme, but there are issues with the editing of the action sequences’ music which intrigue me. Because the edit is always jarring and I don’t think the style of music necessarily fits the film; but I think it is a technical limitation, that contemporary audio systems were not necessarily able to apply the soundtrack in a less jarring manner. Just an interesting thought I had and I may look into the history of sound software etc. to see if that’s right. I think it is a beautiful work and well worth watching, I enjoyed it greatly.

23/1/2021: Howl’s Moving Castle

Good. Far and away less impactful than Mononoke and Nausicaa but still very good. Standard Ghibli points: Its beautiful, well animated and full of character. I find all the lead characters quite charming and well performed; it is set in a very interesting world with lots of interesting quirks and cool magic. Further it is powerfully meaningful, with a clear statement on confidence and empowerment. There’s just something about this one where the vibe is slightly off and I could not fully explain why. It feels disjointed, as though all the parts of the world are not fully connected. I feel like if you were to list the plot points in order some would be labelled “??????? Make it happen” as some events and conclusions are reached without purpose or motivation. Only some though and I’m not trying to seriously say it doesn’t make sense that’s just how I feel in post. I enjoyed it but I feel like I don’t fully understand this one.

24/1/2021: Spirited Away

Beautiful. This one I think is the best showcase of Ghibli’s style: the art is beautiful; the water is viscous and the spirits are fantastically grotesque. There’s a vibrant world shown here with a lot of charming characters and expressive animation which I think creates the most visually stunning of the Ghibli films that I’ve seen so far, though I fear I’m a bit basic and unsophisticated as I still prefer what I recognise as more traditional fantasy and sci-fi worlds like Mononoke and Nausicaa. I feel the story is also a well nuanced coming of age tale as it balances between relying on your friends and standing up for yourself. I also really like Yubaba or more generally how antagonism is handled throughout this movie; and to an extent in the broader Ghibli canon. Rather than create comically evil villains who exist purely to do bad these features all showcase antagonists with genuine sensible motivations driving their action and the only thing defining them as antagonists is the framing and perspective. On that point you could argue that Yubaba is the closest to a genuine villain but I think the materialist-critical aspects are more of an aside than a genuine statement, as appreciable as they are.

#hotel transylvania #princess mononoke #spongebob squarepants #nausicaa: valley of the wind #howls moving castle #spirited away #studio ghibli #;#film #animation #anime

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theirrationalzone · 4 years

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My Top Ten Games of 2020

Let’s just address the giant elephant in the room from the offset: 2020 has been one giant mess of a year. Every event, every major moment this year just felt like the worst case scenario every time.

For a lot of us though, there was one saving grace: video games.

2020 has been a damn fine year for video games. From the return of certain classic franchises to some amazing new entries and experiences. Gaming really managed to thrive in a year where other entertainment mediums such as films and television struggled.

Let’s dive in and take a look at some of the games that made this year a lot more bearable:

10: Watch Dogs Legion

I’ve had a soft spot for Ubisoft’s hack ‘em up franchise for quite a while. I didn’t think the original was as disappointing as it was made out to be and I thought the second one was an underrated gem. When Legion was first announced, I liked a lot of what the game was setting out to do but I wasn’t ready to pull the trigger on getting it. I decided to give the game a chance in the end and I’m glad I did.

Legion might suffer from the same pitfalls that have plagued other Ubisoft enterprises, but the recruitment mechanic is one of the coolest systems I have seen in any game ever. The fact that you can recruit any NPC that you see on the streets of London and use their unique talents to complete your objectives is just an awesome thing in and of itself. Its depiction of London is also incredibly fun to explore and cause mayhem in. While I found the writing to be pretty subpar, the game quite buggy and the whole PS5 upgrade fiasco a farce, I still found Legion to be a fun open world experience overall.

9: Resident Evil 3

Resident Evil has been on a real hot streak as of late, hasn’t it? Ever since Capcom made a promise to its fans that the Resident Evil series would go back to what made it so popular in the first place, the series has gone from strength to strength. Last year saw the release of the RE2 Remake which was absolutely excellent in that it kept the spirit of the original while also taking a few liberties of its own. It was only a matter of time before RE3 got the same treatment and well... it did.

I’m just going to spit this out. It’s not as good as the RE2 Remake. It didn’t need to be though. I still think this is a good game that provides a satisfying and fun survival horror experience. It carries over a lot of the elements that made the RE2 Remake such an excellent game and in certain areas (especially the writing) it makes a few improvements. Plus the game looks absolutely stunning thanks to the RE Engine. It is quite short. It is missing quite a bit of content from the original game. It definitely isn’t as replayable as the RE2 Remake. I still had a blast with it though overall. If this really is a blip for the Resident Evil series, then it must be in a really good place right now.

8: Tell Me Why

Dontnod Entertainment have fast become one of my favourite developers in the industry right now. When I first played Life is Strange back in 2015, it felt like a revelation. It weaved a fantastic story with characters you genuinely cared for and took you to a place you never wanted to leave. I’ve enjoyed all of their other ventures since then such as the underrated (if quite janky) Vampyr and Life is Strange 2.

Tell Me Why is another venture that fits the Dontnod MO: A grounded emotional story with slight supernatural elements, a degree of player choice and a setting that makes your jaw drop. The major difference here is the game’s attempt to portray a transgender character. That’s nothing new in and of itself. It’s more the fact that it attempts to accurately portray a transgender male character which is a bit of a rarity in all forms of media. Transgender portrayals (from what I’ve seen) tend to focus on male to female rather than female to male.

I’m in no position to comment on whether the portrayal is accurate or not, but I got the impression that Dontnod really went out of their way to get this right. Their FAQ explains that they worked with GLAAD and the voice actor to get it as right as they could. That alone deserves huge praise, but I also loved the Ronan Twins’ story as they dealt with their harsh past and the uncertain future. The game was a delight from beginning to end and it just looks absolutely gorgeous to boot. Dontnod have done it again.

7: Bugsnax

One of the early delights of the last generation was a little ditty known as Octodad: Dadliest Catch. It was a fun little physics based affair which cast you as a octopus masquerading as a human. The game had a terrific sense of humour and it was just bloody fun to play. Young Horses (the developer of the game) kinda went dark after that. They only really resurfaced to release two bonus levels for that game and then they just disappeared again. Now we know why that was the case...

Bugsnax retains some of the qualities that made Octodad such as a memorable game. A great sense of humour and a unique gameplay hook. You play as a reporter sent to the mysterious Snaktooth Island to interview an explorer called Elizabert Megafig who has discovered these unusual creatures known as Bugsnax. After crash landing onto the island, you discover that Elizabert and her significant other have gone missing. It’s up to you to find out what happened while also documenting and capturing Bugsnax for yourself. Capturing the Bugsnax is a big part of what makes this game such a delight to play. As you unlock more tools to play around with, you can come up with different strategies and methods to capture these weird snack based creatures. It’s pretty awesome. Throw in a lovable set of characters to interact with and a beautiful environment to explore, and you’ve got one of the most lovable games released this year.

6: Mafia: Definitive Edition

The last few years haven’t been too kind to the Mafia franchise in my eyes. I really wanted to like Mafia III when it came out back in 2016. It was a sequel I waited years for and it did have some good qualities such as an excellent story that dealt with some pretty heavy topics, solid gameplay mechanics and an amazing licensed soundtrack. Unfortunately the game had one of the most tedious and boring gameplay loops I think I’ve ever seen in an open world game. It just got so dull after the first couple of hours.

This year saw the announcement of the Mafia Trilogy which was to be a celebration of the entire franchise with a remake of the first game, a remaster of the second and a re-release of the third. Half of this was botched with the remaster of II being poorly put together and the re-release of III receiving a broken patch. Things were looking grim for the remake...

As you can see by it being in this list, we were proven wrong. Mafia: DE is a fantastic remake that pays good lip service to the original while also expanding on certain elements. The story which follows the rise and fall of cab driver turned wiseguy Tommy Angelo is more fleshed out with new sequences and character moments that weren’t in the original. Gameplay still retains the solid shooting and cover mechanics of Mafia III and the driving feels absolutely excellent especially when you put it in simulation mode. Lost Heaven is just gorgeous to behold as well with its bustling neighbourhoods and beautiful countryside. I hope this is the beginning of a redemption arc for Hangar 13 and the Mafia franchise. There is a lot of promise to build upon from here.

5: Deadly Premonition 2: A Blessing in Disguise

Anyone who knows me personally or has followed me on social media for a while knows that I’m a big fan of Deadly Premonition. The 2010 cult survival horror hit pretty much encapsulates why I love video games with its lovable hero, an eccentric cast of characters and surprisingly solid mechanics considering the budget it was made for. It was definitely more than the sum of its parts.

When I found out that a sequel was being made exclusively for the Nintendo Switch, my jaw hit the floor pretty hard. I thought any hopes for a sequel were dashed when SWERY left Access Games (the original dev), and yet here we are. A Blessing in Disguise is a brilliant sequel to the zany original. It captures everything that I loved about the original game to a T while also improving in certain aspects. The story is more ambitious this time with it being both prequel and sequel. A lot of the gameplay elements have been improved. The combat benefits from better aiming controls and an upgrade system for both York and his weapon. Getting from A to B is less wonky (and more fun) thanks to the addition of a skateboard rather than a car.

While I do still think the original is better due to the more creative side quests, the more challenging difficulty and the fact that it functions better from a technical perspective, I’m still a big fan of DP2 and it deserves your attention. Here’s hoping that it makes its way to other platforms in the future.

4: Ghost of Tsushima

This last generation has been good for Sony and its Worldwide Studios. In the last five years, they’ve managed to produce hit after hit after hit. A definite far cry from the first year of the PS4 where they produced some dire exclusives. Infamous Second Son was one of these. Sucker Punch’s first effort on the console was very pretty and a good technical showpiece for the console, but as a game, it was boring and dull. I couldn’t even muster the strength to finish it. The standalone expansion First Light was a huge improvement in my eyes. It cut out a lot of the fluff from Second Son. I knew then that Sucker Punch would eventually give us something amazing. They certainly did in the end...

Ghost of Tsushima is honestly one of the best exclusives that Sony has ever produced. Giving us a brutal tale in the vein of a Kurosawa flick where samurai Jin Sakai is forced to betray his code in order to drive out the Mongol force that has enslaved his homeland; we have a story that is genuinely gripping from beginning to end with an incredibly powerful final duel to boot. The combat is incredibly fun with a brilliant combat system that is easy to pick up but challenging to master. Duels especially show the combat system at its finest. Upgrading your abilities genuinely makes you feel incredibly powerful as you begin to decimate enemies left, right and center. Stealth is solid giving you plenty of tools at your disposal and certainly changes up the gameplay a fair bit. Did I mention that Tsushima Island is one of the most aesthetically pleasing locales in any game to date? Well I’m saying it now. It is one of the most beautiful locales in any game to date.

I’m very excited to see where this new IP goes in the future because this first entry is just incredible. A must buy if you own or plan on owning a PlayStation 4 or 5 in the near future.

3: Astro’s Playroom

Memorable pack-in exclusives are a bit of a rarity nowadays. The last one that sticks in my mind is Wii Sports, and that was a long time ago.

Astro’s Playroom serves as the pack-in title for the PlayStation 5 as it is pre-installed on all units. It’s also my favourite exclusive for the console so far. The main reason for this is that Astro’s Playroom evolves past being just a tech demo for the console and its fancy new controller. It actually is a fun little platformer in its own right. It offers something different with every level. In one level you can transform into a giant ball and attempt to navigate some pretty tight platforms, and in the next, you take control of a rocket ship and navigate through corridors while also avoiding bombs. There is great variety here and to be fair, it shows off the potential of the new DualSense controller fantastically.

Plus the game is just one giant love letter to the PlayStation brand and the games that made it what it is today. You’ll see references to obscure PlayStation paraphernalia such as the Multitap and UMD discs, and also games like Final Fantasy VII and Silent Hill. The final boss of the game in particular is one giant callback to something you might remember if you got a PlayStation 1 back in the day. I won’t say any more, but it made me yelp in joy when I saw it. If you plan on getting a PlayStation 5 in the future, make this the first game you play. You won’t regret it.

2: Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2

Activision have been on a roll in the last few years with the revitalisation of some of their classic franchises. Crash Bandicoot and Spyro the Dragon for example have enjoyed newfound success thanks to the excellent N Sane Trilogy and Reignited Trilogy. When it was revealed earlier this year that Vicarious Visions and Beenox would be resurrecting the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater franchise with a remake of Pro Skater 1 and 2, my heart skipped a good few beats.

The Pro Skater franchise means a lot to me personally as I have very fond memories of putting hours into 1 and 2 when I was a kid. Going through the Career mode with each skater, learning the gaps and getting used to doing manuals when they were introduced in 2, it’s all ingrained into me. I’m happy to say that this is probably the best remake I have ever played. It perfectly captures what made those first two entries so special. Each level is beautifully recreated with a ton of new details that serve to enhance these levels. The soundtrack includes all of your old favourites like Goldfinger’s Superman and Rage Against the Machine’s Guerilla Radio along with some fantastic new tracks like Less Than Jake’s Bomb Drop.

The gameplay definitely taps more into Pro Skater 3 and 4 territory with Reverts and Flatland tricks included. These tricks don’t feel out of place and the game does give you the option to play it legacy style if you want. It feels magnificent overall though. The physics are pitch perfect. Creating lines and large combos is still as addicting and rewarding as ever. Online leaderboards certainly tempt you to reach for the stars if you’ve got the ability. Career mode isn’t particularly long, but the pretty robust Create-a-Park editor and solid multiplayer suite should keep you coming back for more. I’ve already put dozens of hours into this and I have no intention of stopping anytime soon.

If my number 1 entry on this list didn’t exist, this would be my Game of the Year. As it stands though, this is a very close second.

1: Doom Eternal

How do you follow up one of the best first person shooters in recent memory? Basically turn everything up to eleven and then some. Doom (2016) was such an eye opener when it launched. It gave everything we could have ever wanted from a new Doom game: a whole planet full of demons to kill and some big guns to help them back to where they belong. It was awesome and an easy choice for my GOTY back in 2016.

I anticipated Doom Eternal with bated breath. The excitement was building but the nerves were building with it. How could it live up to the previous one? What if it makes the same mistakes as Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus? Thankfully my worries were unfounded as soon as I loaded up the game and was thrown straight into the fold with a Combat Shotgun and some entry level demons to destroy with it.

Doom Eternal is the FPS genre at its absolute finest. The levels are much bigger with more secrets to find and loads of demons to kill. Said demons are much more plentiful in their ranks and they move faster too. Fortunately enough, you have a huge arsenal to deal death to these demonic denizens from the depths of Hell such as the starter Combat Shotgun, the Plasma Rifle, the Ballista and even a giant sword known as the Crucible. Enemies now have weak points to exploit as well which can turn the tide of battle and it rewards accuracy. Before you know it, you’ll be entangled in a ballet of bullets, beams, blood and guts (HUGE guts mind you.) This game makes you feel like a hero at the end of every fight. It’s so satisfying.

Toss in a soundtrack that will get your blood pumping and your goosebumps raising along with environments that will make your TV or monitor look like a window to a scorched earth, and you have my Game of the Year for 2020. Well deserved for sure. I really need to get on that DLC.

To those of you who actually took the time to read all that, you have my heartfelt thanks. I really appreciate you reading this and I hope my choices made sense.

To those of you who just glanced at each entry and skimmed through the text, I don’t blame you for doing that. I still appreciate you taking a look anyway.

All that’s left for me to say is that I hope each and every one of you has a safe holiday season and I hope that the New Year will be better for all of us.

I’ll see you all in 2021. Stay safe and well, folks.

#goty 2020 #ps5 #ps4 #switch

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bumbleberrysky · 4 years

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alexa, play candyshop (bass boosted) | 01

pairing: gabriel x reader genre: soulmate au, canon divergent around s13, hurt/comfort, humour, future smut (probs) wc: 3.2k rating: sfw warnings: none except the appearance of battered gabriel fresh out of asmodeus’ hold notes: welcome to my first dive into writing for supernatural! i saw someone say that s13 lit a fire under their ass like nothing else and honestly i don’t think i could have described it better. i binged so much while catching up the past few weeks idk who i am anymore

You knew there was a reason some divine power brought you to the Winchesters all those years ago, but to this day you still have no idea what that reason is. It's something you're destined to find out soon though, especially when you return to the bunker after months away and find not only a new face, but one that belongs to someone who up until that point you'd thought was dead. What does his return have to do with the changes you're suddenly experiencing in yourself? Will you finally find out the reason you'd been brought here in the first place? Maybe...

Chuck works in mysterious ways after all.

next.

“Honeys, I’m home!”

The bunker has the same light aroma of musty air and metal as you let yourself in through the heavy front door, feet carrying you, out of habit more than anything, to the steel landing that marks the entrance to the fortress. It’s been so long since you were last here that the two men you used to hunt with regularly have likely forgotten they gave you a spare key. Well, they hadn’t exactly given it to you so much as you’d made a copy on the down-low and kept it for occasions such as this.

One hand keeps pressure on your arm, an attempt to stem the bleeding, and the other carries your single carry-on bag. You make it about halfway down the stairs before your gaze swings out over the foyer and you freeze, mid-step.

Sam and Dean, the two figures you expected to find here, are standing stock-still with their guns half-poised (not directed at you) and expressions on their faces that are a combination of shocked, pissed, and extremely confused (mostly directed at you). Following the line of their weapons leads you to the other two occupants in the room, most definitely unexpected and completely unfamiliar.

One is in rags, cowering, and whimpering, unrecognisable underneath filthy tangled hair that covers his face, and the other is in a prim suit marred only by blood and a bit of dirt, barely a single strand of dark hair atop his head out of place.

“Twinkletoes? What the hell are you doing here?!”

It’s Dean’s stupid, old nickname for you that breaks you out of your shock, a glare already falling onto your face with the practised ease of muscle memory.

“I’ll answer that when you tell me what the hell I just walked in on—” You come the rest of the way down the stairs, slower and more cautious now, with your gaze trained on the two at the other end of the table. It’s when the man in rags finally looks up from where he had been cowering and you catch a glimpse of his face, bloody and bruised but instantly familiar, that your words swell and catch in your throat.

“… Gabriel?”

The brothers in front of you heave a great, unanimous sigh, a look passed between them telling you that you’re about to be on the receiving end of a very ludicrous and typical Winchester story.

x x x

The first time you met Gabriel was not long after you’d gone through the biggest plot twist of your entire life. You’d gone to sleep in your bed, in your home, and woken up in a completely different part of the world, like some magician had snapped their fingers and you’d been the punchline of their very next trick. Much to your regret and distaste, some minor investigation revealed that where you’d woken up in the backseat of a car on the side of the road was in some state in the US. You’d sworn to yourself that you would never step foot here in your entire life and then, like God or whoever reigned above was laughing straight in your face, you’d just up and woken up in some random car in a place that made you long to be literally anywhere else.

Preferably somewhere where the occupants didn’t have such easy access to guns.

…like the two men who screamed and pointed theirs at you when you popped up from their backseat after they climbed into the cabin, fast food in their arms.

That was the first time you’d met the infamous hunting brothers, the Winchesters, and the first time of many you’d nearly died in their company.

It had taken a while for them to trust you, but after you inviting yourself onto a few of their cases and saving their asses a handful of times (ignoring the amount of times they saved yours because you forgot that almost every American slept with a gun beneath their pillow) they’d eventually taken you under their proverbial wing. It helped that you had literally nowhere else to go and nothing but the clothes on your back and a bare handful of belongings to your name. Once they figured out you weren’t hiding anything up your sleeve and that you’re just naturally annoying and a little dumb, they’d happily invited you to become an official-unofficial part of their little hunting gang. This means you’re also familiar with the hilarious angel they have in their back pocket. Castiel is a riot and one of the things you miss most when you go off to hunt on your own.

Having been around during the whole ordeal of Lucifer and Michael going through the motions of continuing their family spat on an apocalyptic scale, you too grew to be familiar with their youngest brother, the archangel Gabriel. Of course, while you’d been there for a fair amount of the angel-turned-trickster’s shenanigans, you weren’t there for the final appearance he made at a hotel in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. In complete juxtaposition to the fact that you could count on one hand the amount of times you’d interacted properly with Gabriel, the sensations you experienced at the news of his sacrifice, his death, were unlike anything you’d ever felt before. You like to consider yourself much more emotionally healthy and with an emotional range far larger than that of a teaspoon and the Winchesters’, but that… that news was something that it had taken you months to recover from fully.

And even then, apparently your recovery wasn’t as complete as you’d thought, because hearing what the boys have told you now has made your eyes burn and your stomach turn into a nest of manic bees, your insides lined with flowers and pollen. You think, for a moment, that you just might be sick.

You’re sitting in the library, Gabriel having been taken to a room of his own by one Winchester while the other fills you in before they’re both reunited before you, and you’re in the kind of mood where you sort of want to just sit there and dissociate for a few hours, truthfully. You can tell you’re not going to get that opportunity though, so in the wake of the bombshell they’d just dropped on you about all you’d missed in the past few months—that they had apparently forgotten to tell you over the phone when you checked in occasionally— you do the next best thing you can think of for the moment.

Put it on the backburner, baby.

You massage your temple with your fingers as you lean your head into your hand, a sigh escaping through your nose. “See, this is why it feels like I have been brought on as a babysitter—I leave for a few months and you old men manage to dig up another almost-apocalypse and find and raise Lucifer’s kid?”

“Alright, first of all,” Dean whips out a finger to point at you, filling you with glee. You’ve barely been back a few hours and already you’re stepping back into your favourite “stir-the absolute-shit-out-of-Dean” pants. As always, he is almost pitifully quick to rise to the bait. “Old? Who are you calling old? Alright so maybe we have a few years on you but that’s just because you’re a toddler and w—”

“Dean,” Sam places a placating hand on his brother’s shoulder, a look that seems to be a mixture of amusement and exasperation crossing his features. “You’re making it too easy for her.”

The older Winchester pauses, turning to pin you with an accusing look. You smile, not even attempting to appear innocent. After staring at you for several long moments, Dean makes the ‘eyes-on-you’ gesture with his fingers before turning away, rolling the tension from his shoulders as he takes a seat across from you.

“You were gone for almost a year this time, did you have any luck, well, leaving?” Sam brings your attention back to him, the question dragging out a sigh that feels like it’s been dredged from the very depths of your being.

“No,” you answer, sounding somewhat petulant even to your own ears. “Why is it so hard to leave this god-forsaken country! I hate it here. I’m sick of trying to make a run for it and being zapped back into a swamp, or—or a pool at the top of a penthouse suite in the middle of some random city! It sucks balls.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Dean waves his hand, enjoying the dirty look you give him. “So you still haven’t found whatever purpose you’re meant to fulfil while here?”

You huff, shaking your head. “No. It’s been years and I still have no idea why I woke up here that day. Or why I can’t leave.”

Over the time you’ve spent with the Winchesters, a few things became apparent to the three of you about your stay here. One, it was indefinite. You’d discovered quickly that you are, quite literally, unable to leave. Every time you get close to escaping this country you black out and wake up back inside. Sometimes in a helpful place, sometimes…. Not.

Two, the three of you had thrown around and entertained the idea that maybe you’d been brought here for a reason, that like them maybe you’d been divinely allocated a role to play. But you’ve been through a lot with the Winchesters, whether in person or by association, and still…

You’re no closer to being able to leave and return from whence you came.

You have no idea why you’re here!

This is something that has really contributed to your temporary career as a hunter here. That isn’t to say that this profession isn’t something you were involved in before you came here, but you’ve really… you really dove into it, whether as a distraction or as an ongoing investigation as to what on earth was going to set you free of your tie to this place. A part of you thinks that each case you take on, each person or family you save and creature you slay might be the one reason that brought you here, and the one task that with its completion will grant you freedom. You’ve never been a fan of being caged; just because this one spans a grand total of 9.834 million square kilometres doesn’t make it any less of one.

This most recent expedition that led you to part from the Winchesters for such a long time was another of your failed attempts to leave. You think you’ve tried escaping at every possible point along the coastline and border by now, with a definite lack of success.

“Well, if it really is some divine intervention keeping you here, then it’s better if you just sit back and settle down, twinkletoes.” Dean huffs a laugh, leaning back in his chair with an accompanying creak from the wood. “Those divine types have proven to be… kind of assholes.”

You frown, but he isn’t saying anything you haven’t already thought. It’s part of why you’d settled so easily into hunting here, actually. ‘When in Rome…’, as they say. You’re familiar with the hunting grind and there is comfort in familiarity.

“Are you going to stay a while?” Sam asks, opening the first-aid box he’d first brought over when you’d settled down. Ah, right—you’d almost forgotten about the injury on your arm, despite the fact that you are still pressing a palm to it. You listen as he speaks, almost swearing you can detect a hint of hopefulness in his voice. “You still have a room here for you, of course. We haven’t touched anything inside.”

“Yeah, mostly because we didn’t wanna deal with the mess and the booby-trapped doors—” Dean’s under-the-breath mutter is cut off by your coo, a wide smile pulling your lips.

“Oh, you two missed me, didn’t you?” Instantly, you are successful in ruffling Dean’s feathers— Sam might take a bit more work, though. “I know I really light this dark, dingy place up but I didn’t know it was that bad without me! Ah, perhaps I will stay a while. You know, out of charity.”

“Sammy,” Dean says, beseeching. “It’s not too late—you hold her back and I’ll find her key. It’s not too cold, she’ll be alright outside.”

An appalled and affronted look slips onto your face and Sam has to clear his throat so that he doesn’t laugh and add to his brother’s torment.

“I’m not a misbehaving puppy,” you say, holding your arm out for Sam as he comes over and finally freeing your bloody hand. “Wait, unless you want me to be. Been broadening your horizons beyond animated tentacle porn have you, Deanie-bo-beenie?”

On cue, Dean’s face flushes light red, whether from anger or a brief spritz of embarrassment, only God knows. You can see Sam’s face grow tense from the effort of holding back noise in your peripheral as he tends to your arm.

“You know what? I’m better than this. I’m gonna let it go.” Dean rises from his chair, making a show of dusting off your metaphorical drama. His light eyes flick to you, squinting. “I’m tired; I have a date with my memory foam pillow and nice, warm, feather duvet and a good night’s rest, so goodnight. I hope your bed has bed bugs, twinkletoes, and I hope they bite.”

“I hope you sleep well too, Dean!” you call after him, deciding you’ll have to give him a break from the bullying tomorrow or else he’ll explode before you can have much fun. “Do you want me to come tuck you in?”

“No! Goodnight!”

His yell and disappearance down the hall is followed a few moments later by the familiar sound of a door slamming shut,

“That’s not very fair of you,” Sam announces, sounding strained and very much like he’s trying not to laugh lest Dean has an ear pressed to his door. “He’s too tired to fight back right now.”

“I know,” you answer, wincing as he wipes down the laceration on your bicep and cleans the blood away with an alcohol wipe. It burns, but it’s definitely not the most painful thing you have ever experienced. “I hadn’t seen you guys in so long, though. I couldn’t help myself.”

Sam simply snorts, reaching for the needle and thread to being stitching the skin back together, and you breathe harshly through your nose as you reach for another topic to distract yourself.

“Are the two—sorry, the three of you actually dads now? To… to Lucifer’s half-angel kid? I thought angels getting frisky with humans was, uh… illegal up in heaven.”

You feel rather than see Sam roll his eyes, your own pointedly directed away from your arm where he has begun to get to work. “It’s Lucifer, y/n, I don’t think he cares about what’s illegal up in heaven.”

You purse your lips—he makes a fair point. Honestly, you feel a little silly for questioning it. “Right, and he’s… trapped in some other dimension? An alternate world where the apocalypse really happened.”

“Yep,” Sam says, hitting a particularly painful spot with his needle. You hiss, giving him a glare.

“I wasn’t even gone a year! Just hearing all this shit is stressing me out so much, dude.” You sigh, attempting to adjust your position in the wooden chair without jostling your arm too much. Thankfully, practice has made Sam quick at his job and already he is almost done piecing you back together. He finishes up with a knot, snipping the thread and then placing a large bandage carefully over the wound. He dusts his hands once done, standing from where he was leaning against the table and proceeding to loom over you like a T-Rex.

“You’re blocking my light, bro,” you inform him, narrowly avoiding a subsequent good-natured smack to your good arm. “Damn, what the hell! Didn’t you take an oath or some shit? I’m your patient!”

“I was studying law, not medicine,” Sam retorts dryly. He turns to leave and put the first aid supplies away, his back facing you but not before you see how his lips twitch. “So your annoying ass is free game.”

“Maybe so,” you acquiesce, rising from your seat with a light grunt as you jostle your arm. You consider asking Sam where Castiel is, to see if you can get a hit of the good stuff and skip the healing process, but think better of it. You always feel a bit bad asking him to heal you, though you barely ever have to since he’s like a rabid mother hen the second he sees blood on any of you. “God, I’m beat. I didn’t think I could get any more tired than I was before, but as always catching up with you two has aged me a few years and now I’m just about as tired as you two are all the time.”

Sam doesn’t rise to the ‘old man’ bait you dangle in front of him—never really does, if you’re being honest; that’s mostly Dean’s vice— but he does offer you a smile that is unexpectedly sincere and fond.

“Go to bed, toddler,” he retorts, before continuing in a softer tone, “… It’s good to see you again, y/n. I’m glad you’re here. Dean and Mom are going out on a hunt in the next few days and I think you can really help with, uh… the whole Gabriel thing.”

For a moment, you don’t say anything. You’d sort of been trying to avoid thinking about the elephant in your mind, for the very same reason that makes your eyes burn once more. It hurts, a lot, thinking and imagining what he must have gone through at the hands of Asmodeus. It feels like your heart is going to tear itself to pieces in your chest from the sheer extent of your empathy and how terrible you feel for him. The Gabriel you saw cowering before you earlier is nothing like the confident feathery asshole you used to know.

Even having only seen him once, it’s enough to make you fearful of the possibility that… he might be too far gone to ever return to that last echo of his previous self.

“I’m not sure what I’ll even be able to do to help,” you respond, approaching the doorway to the hall with your bag in tow. You pause to finish what you’re saying, meeting Sam’s puppy-like gaze from across the room. “But I’ll try. It hurts to see him like that, so… I’ll stay a while, to do whatever I can.”

Sam’s answering thankful smile and nod is all you can ask for in response as you turn and head further into the bunker, dragging your bags back to the room you’d come to call your own over the years. Your gaze strays on the way to one of the doors that has a little note taped on saying, ‘please do not open suddenly or loudly’, undoubtedly the room that they have allocated to Gabriel for the time being. Heart heavy in your chest, you continue on down the hall and tear your gaze away.

You’re not sure how much you can do for him, but you hope you can do something.

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mst3kproject · 5 years

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The Star Wars Holiday Special

Happy Holidays, MSTies! Your present is Episodes that Never Were are back! Remember last year, when I said Elves was so bad I wished I’d watched the Star Wars Holiday Special instead? Let’s find out what those words taste like.

The galaxy may be in the midst of a rebellion, but Chewbacca promised his family he will be back for Life Day, and god damn it, he’s gonna get there! He and Han Solo dodge Imperial forces and asteroid fields on the way, but the real danger may be waiting for them at home, as Stormtroopers do a treehouse-to-treehouse search for rebel sympathizers. It won’t be much of a holiday if Chewie arrives home only to be immediately arrested!

That sounds exciting, doesn’t it? It even sounds like it could be made to mean something. There is perhaps a point here about inter-ethnic empathy – Life Day may be a Wookiee holiday, but Chewbacca’s alien friends still know how important it is to him and they’re gonna help him keep his promise. We could also compare it to Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. In that movie, the Martians want to celebrate Christmas but aren’t particularly interested in what it means. They get all their information about it from pirated television and from children who don’t understand anything much more than ‘free stuff’. We didn’t give Christmas to them, they literally stole it by kidnapping Santa. In the Holiday Special, the Wookiees are sharing their cultural traditions with outsiders who have become part of their family – Leia’s speech at the ends notes the humans’ respect for this.

But none of that’s relevant, because this is just a bad 70’s variety hour in a Star Wars costume. We don’t get to see claustrophobic scenes of our brave heroes hiding from the Storm Troopers. We don’t get sweeping space battles or bickering robots or weird new planets… we don’t get anything we go to see Star Wars for. Instead, we mostly watch the Wookiees sitting around their house passing the time as they wait helplessly for Chewbacca to get home. This could have been neat in itself if Wookiees had an interesting culture, but they live in a Mod 70’s Treehouse and seem to spend most of their time watching television. The brief opening sequence, in which Solo and Chewie outrun their pursuers in the Millennium Falcon, is just a tantalizing offer of chocolate on the tip of a giant turd.

The actual point of the show, as far as the people who produced it were concerned, was the various little musical numbers and comedy sequences along the way, some of which are more Star Wars-themed than others. Most of these are presented as one or other of the characters watching them on some form of television, which often doesn’t make any sense. The sequences themselves are usually not very well-presented and a lot of them are just downright boring, so let’s go through them one by one. Top up your eggnog, folks. We may be here a while.

Our first setpiece is a holographic circus featuring jugglers and acrobats, which the adults use to distract Lumpy so he’ll stop bothering them – like parents at the mall letting their kids watch Paw Patrol on a tablet while they shop. When you see televised circus acts, they’re usually filmed up close and at interesting angles, to heighten the sense of danger, and give you a good look at what’s going on. The Star Wars Holiday Special presents it as tiny figures on a table, always shot from far away and looking down, which removes all the drama from the stunts. Lumpy enlarges a figure, but it’s only the ringmaster. The others remain tiny, all while this little Wookiee looms over them like a kaiju that will start stomping if it isn’t entertained.

Then we get Mark Hamill’s cameo (in which he looks weirdly like one of the puppets from Invaders from the Deep), followed by Malla’s attempt to cook Bantha Surprise by following the directions on a tv show. I’m not very interested in cooking shows anyway, but I have a hard time imagining anybody being interested in a fake cooking show featuring fictional ingredients from other planets. What we see on Malla’s screen comes across as a sort of parody, but not actually a funny one. I’m tempted to think Harvey Korman must have been making fun of some particular 70’s cooking show maven but I don’t begin to know who that might be.

The ‘humour’ of the sequence is supposed to come from Malla’s attempt to follow the directions even though the cook on the show has four arms and Malla only two. I could pull some commentary on ableism in cooking and cooking shows out of this, but it would be a stretch, and nobody on the writing end was thinking about it that hard. It’s just stupid, and so is Korman’s plastic wig. Malla eventually turns it off in frustration, long after we’re tired of listening to it.

By the way, if you’re wondering whose stupid idea it was to set the whole thing on Kashyyyk (or, as a guy in the Special calls it, Kazook) and not have any subtitles to the Wookiee’s dialogue? That was apparently 100% George Lucas. The actual script and everything was in the hands of the television producers, but Lucas would not budge on the premise being Wookiee-centric. At least he exorcised that particular demon here, instead of subjecting us to it on the big screen.

Anyway, next Art Carney drops by to deliver some Life Day presents, among which is the source of our next setpiece: a VR machine which reads Itchy’s mind to present a personalized fantasy! This takes the form of Diahann Carroll in a sparkly feather wig, singing a song and saying things like “I am your fantasy, experience me!” The song is okay, I guess, and Carroll has a lovely voice, but what we’re seeing is basically a boring music video. She’s just standing there on a glittery black background, and we can’t forget that she’s singing to a geriatric Wookiee who is doing the Wookiee equivalent of jacking off to this (emphasized by the appearance of literal little swimmers in part of the sequence!). The fact that it’s a personal fantasy plucked from his subconscious makes it feel like this was something we weren’t supposed to be privy to, like we’re looking through somebody else’s computer at his girlfriend’s nudes.

Princess Leia (also looking disturbingly puppet-like… are we sure the actual actors appeared in this, and not look-a-likes in heavy makeup?) and C3P0 get their cameo, and then there’s the single actually effective moment in the Special. This is when we think Han Solo and Chewie are about to arrive home, ending our torment a full hour early, but no, it’s the Storm Troopers! This bit isn’t fantastic, but it does work. Then, sadly, we’re on to the next variety act.

This is a holographic music video which Carney shows to the Imperial troops as a demonstration that the device he has brought Malla for Life Day is harmless. It’s Jefferson Starship moaning out a rock song, in which I can understand at best one word in three. The visuals are in intense soft-focus that’s probably supposed to be artsy. The costumes (what I can see of them) aren’t any more Star-Wars-y than anything else bands wore in the 70’s. And the song sounds like something you’d find in the ‘easy’ setting on Rock Band. Why does Black Helmet sit there and watch the whole thing when he’s supposed to be searching every house on Kashyyyk/Kazook for rebel sympathizers?

The version of the Special currently available on YouTube, which tragically lacks the commercials, has a lot of comments along the lines of this is what you hallucinate after buying Death Sticks from that guy on Coruscant.

To drive the point home, the next thing we see is Lumpy watching a cartoon about Han Solo and Chewbacca crash-landing on an ocean planet while searching for a mystical talisman that makes things invisible (I wish they hadn’t actually shown this object – then I could have made jokes about it being the One Ring). This sequence is generally regarded as the best thing in the Special, and it introduced Boba Fett and provided some characterization for him. It is definitely true that this is the only segment with a plot, and with its weird aliens and grubby outposts it feels a lot more like Star Wars than anything else going on here.

The main thing that keeps me from enjoying this segment is that it just looks weird. The animators use exaggerated squash-and-stretch on the droids, even more so than on the living characters, which makes them look like they’re made out of jell-o. Princess Leia looks like something out of a cheap 60’s manga and Luke like he was drawn by a twelve-year-old based on an action figure that wasn’t actually of Luke Skywalker. Luke has no pupils, which is very distressing, but not as distressing as when C3P0 blinks. Even worse, as far as I can tell Han Solo has no eyes at all.

The design of the alien planet in this sequence is pretty cool, though. It appears to be entirely covered in a kind of goopy ocean and the creatures that live in it are neat-looking, even if not terribly plausible. Animation is really a great medium for fantasy and science fiction, because it levels the playing field: we’re not thinking about the special effects because everything on screen looks equally unreal. This is something Disney, who used it to such beautiful effect in Lilo and Stitch, totally forgot at just about the same time as they acquired the rights to Star Wars. Oh, for what could have been.

I want to note here that the average review on this blog is about as long as what you’ve read so far. We’re only about two thirds of the way through the Special, though, and I can’t really divide a holiday review up into two weeks. Therefore, consider this your permission to take a break and go snag another latke or whatever you’re snacking on, and then we’ll continue.

There’s one fun bit of background social commentary in the animated sequence, too: the only way for humans to survive the virus is to hang them upside-down so their brains will get enough oxygen despite their weakened hearts. In the city there’s an advertisement for the cure – and the upside-down human pictured in the ad is, of course, a woman in her underwear. The image isn’t detailed and it’s not the focus of the shot, so I don’t think it’s an actual piece of gratuitous cheesecake. Apparently somebody at Nelvana Ltd was just salty about the advertising industry.

The self-contained story in the cartoon makes sense within itself. It justifies Fett’s fearsome reputation far better than anything in The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi, and the characters seem to be in-character even when they’re off-model. The problem is with it as a part of the framing story about the Imperial troops searching Chewbacca’s house! The Special is very explicit that this is not something that’s actually happening in the real world at the same time as the other events – it is a cartoon Lumpy is watching on TV. Why, in a galaxy controlled by the Empire, would there be cartoons using the real names of real rebel operatives and presenting them as the heroes? If nobody’s supposed to know Boba Fett is connected with the Empire, why does the show blow his cover?

More importantly, where can I get one of those awesome giant stuffed Banthas Lumpy has in his room? I don’t know if that’s a real toy that was available in the late 70’s, but Comic Images does make something similar and you can buy them at Wal-Mart or Toys R Us.

While cleaning up the mess the Stormtroopers made of his room, Lumpy watches an instructional video of how to put together some kind of radio. This features Harvey Korman as an android who keeps getting jammed. Like cooking shows, instructional videos aren’t very interesting unless you’re trying to follow the directions – since we can’t follow the directions, this one is pointless to begin with. The ‘joke’ is not funny, and lines like “every one of the ten thousand terminals on your circuit breaker module is a different colour” might be amusing when written down but they just don’t work when somebody says them aloud. Fortunately, it doesn’t last long.

Then we get on to what’s probably the second-best thing in the Special, the bit where we learn that the Mos Eisley cantina is owned by Bea Arthur. It would be easily the most expensive thing in the Special were it not made up of b-roll footage and re-used puppets from Episode IV. It’s also kind of got a plot, in that a guy with a baking soda volcano on top of his head (this is certainly an efficient way to get the alcohol directly to your brain) is trying to confess his love to Bea while she just wants to get on with running her business. Eventually he gets his heart broken and leaves, and then the Empire shuts the bar down, so Bea throws everybody out with a song.

I have to admit, in The Force Awakens when Han Solo mentioned a female friend who ran a ‘watering hole’… there was a moment there when I was half-expecting it to be Bea Arthur’s character. I’m relieved that it wasn’t, but also just the slightest bit disappointed. We had to wait for The Mandalorian to get a proper Holiday Special callback.

This bit almost had a chance to say something with its ‘thwarted romance’ plot. Usually such a thing in a tv show would get what the male character would consider a happy ending. He would prove to his love interest that being cared for is important, she would realize that love is better than money, and they would metaphorically ride off into the sunset. What it looks like we��re going to get here instead is something more like the episode of South Park where Butters fell in love with the Hooters waitress. Harvey Korman’s character (yes, he plays three different characters in this Special and this was apparently supposed to be a selling point) realizes his crush is based on a misunderstanding, and while it makes him sad, he’s not going to be an asshole about it.

Nor is Bea’s character vilified for rejecting him, which she does tactfully but firmly, as if she’s gone through this many times before. He’s just a minor annoyance in her day before she goes on to worry about bigger problems, like getting everybody to obey that Imperial curfew. Then, however, at the last second he pops up from behind the counter after everybody has left – and that’s where the segment ends. I think we’re supposed to assume they got together after all, but I kind of hope she just threw him out with the rest of them. No means no, damn it.

Bea Arthur’s Go Home Song is to the tune the Cantina Band was playing in Episode IV, so it pretty much goes without saying it’s the catchiest piece in the Special.

Then, finally, it’s time to celebrate Life Day! The Wookiees hold up some glowing Christmas balls, then dress in red robes and walk through outer space into a, uh, wormhole, I guess, that takes them to the base of the giant tree from Avatar. There it’s time for our final setpiece, the culmination of this whole ninety-minute ordeal… Princess Leia sings! The Life Day Carol is to the tune of the main Star Wars theme, and the lyrics sound like something from a generic Christmas album you get free if you buy three cards at Hallmark. Carrie Fisher is a decent singer but she looks like she’s as glad this is over as we are.

Much like Howard the Duck, The Star Wars Holiday Special is a production in which they made all the worst decisions they possibly could. Focusing on the Wookiees at home rather than following Han Solo and Chewbacca through the action killed the whole thing at the starting gate. Then that plot is nothing but a frame on which they can hang the various variety acts, and none of those are very good. It’s only towards the end of the sequence that what we’re seeing even has anything to do with Star Wars. Watching it is an ordeal on the order of an un-riffed Coleman Francis film. It’s so bad, it’s not even something people get together and watch like they do Manos or The Room.

So why do we still have it? The Holiday Special was only broadcast once, and was met by fathomless loathing from critics, Star Wars fans, and ordinary people alike. It has never been released in any other format (Andrew Borntreger of badmovies.org has a story about how Lucas had him thrown out of a Q&A panel for asking if it were getting a DVD release), so the fact that you can find it on YouTube today is down to some nameless hero who recorded it on their newfangled VCR back in 1978. That person then showed it to friends, apparently on the basis of oh my god, you guys, this is so bad, you have to see it, and then because misery loves company they copied it to show to their friends. What we have today is copies of copies of copies of copies, like fragments of Sappho only with VHS artefacts instead of holes in the papyrus (and without the artistic vision).

Humans like to preserve remarkable things. Sappho we’ve preserved because it’s remarkably good, but the Star Wars Holiday Special we preserve because it’s remarkably bad. Lucasfilm has tried very hard to stamp it out. George Lucas himself has said that if he could he would gather up every copy that exists and smash them with a sledgehammer… but we won’t let him do it. We keep copying the Special and passing it along, in a way that’s very familiar to MSTies in particular. We’re circulating the tapes! Why this tape in particular?

I don’t claim to know, but my working theory is that it keeps us humble. We are a species that can produce great things when we put our minds to it. We landed on the moon. We eradicated smallpox. We built the Taj Mahal and the Sagrada Familia. We wrote The Romance of the Three Kingdoms and the Einstein Field Equations and the aforementioned works of Sappho. But for all that, we are also capable of throwing the same kind of effort into creating utter disasters – and the Star Wars Holiday Special is the rare example of an unmitigated disaster that didn’t actually hurt anybody. It reminds us to take a step back and look at what we’re doing without getting too invested in it, but does so while being harmless and at times humorous.

Would I still rather watch this than Elves? You bet your shaggy Wookiee ass I would. The Star Wars Holiday Special may be longer, but it doesn’t leave nearly such a bad taste in my mouth.

I will leave you with this: the Special was, as I mentioned, only broadcast once, in 1978 – that means its signal is now forty-one light years from Earth and still going. There are several hundred stars within that bubble, around two dozen of which are known to have planets. Somewhere out there, aliens might be getting their first signal from humanity right now and it’s the Star Wars Holiday Special.

#mst3k #reviews #the star wars holiday special #episodes that never were #holiday reviews #70s

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crossbows-and-moonshine · 5 years

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Guys I did it! *Sobs violently*

Alright, here’s my list of recommended fics you super awesome humans.

As I said in my other post, writers helping writers is awesome so I’m so happy to tell you some of the fics I’ve read that I love. Go show these amazing people some love for the time and effort they have put in to create wonderful fics. Any fics I mention have been read by me (multiple times with some), and I totally recommend them.

I’m gonna do this in a few ways, first off, I’ll section Archive of Our Own separately to FanFic.net, just to make it easier for me to grab the links. Ao3 has a nifty little thing where you can see your reading history so I can grab them from there, with FF, I need to go through and find them, pray for me lololol.

I’ll also be separating the Boondock Saints ones and Daryl ones, just for your ease, if you're only interested in one and not the other. The Daryl ones are only on Archive, because I haven't really read any over on FF for some reason, don't ask me why, I just haven't.

They’re not in any particular order, just as I see them, I'll grab them.

These aren’t all the fics I’ve read, some of the ones I love have been deleted by the writer, which breaks my heart honestly, and some of them I just can't remember.

It’s so fucking long guys, brace yourselves, I’ll put it under the cut.

So, here we go!

Archive of Our Own [Boondock Saints]

- One of Three

I really like this one and you guys should really check it out.

Author Summary; She had cocooned herself, letting routine and safety run her life. After everything she knew it wasn't much of one, and because she decided to do the right thing her life's about to hit a tailspin in some of the worst and most fantastic ways.

This is a Murphy/OC/Connor story and it’s amazing.

Chapters; 18

- Boondock Saints OC Arc

This ones a little different because it's not set out like the usual fic. Its an arc and some bits have one chapter, one of arcs even has 36. They all follow the same storyline and it flows like a normal fic, the author has just chosen to post it this way, and it works.

Author summary; The story of one girl's first up close and personal encounter with one of the brothers on a late-night subway.The 1st story in my Boondock Saints OC story arc.

This is a Murphy/OC/Connor fic, and it's one of my favs honestly, I've read it all numerous times.

Chapters; I can't give you an exact number with the way it's set out, but as I said, one arc alone has 36, so there's plenty to sink your teeth into.

- Everybody Knows

I love this one, it's short and sweet.

Author summary; Everybody knows exactly what Marissa needs to do to get over her recent breakup. She's spent the last month in mourning and her friends are ready for her to move on...

Murphy/OC/Connor.

Chapters; 4, but there's also a sequel which is 5 chapters long, I won't post the link for that since when you've read this one, the option to click on to the next part is at the bottom.

- Saints Alive

I looooove this one!

Author summary; Skid is once again on her own and she has to find a new place. Luckily for her, she knows a friend who knows a guy who knows of a place for free. Downside is it's in the South side of Boston where crime is rather terrible. Of course, with two Irish brothers as new next door neighbors, what's the worst that could happen?

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 7

- Time Zero Blues

Okay, so this one, omfgjwoehdjshndloihd. This is one of my favvvvvs of all time, I’ve read it so many times, if you don't read it, I just might cry.

Author summary; Murphy and Connor get out of work early and are headed to McGinty's. Murphy finds a trail of Polaroids along the way that lead them to an unexpected situation.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 23

- Sacrament of Penance

If you’re after something to get you hot and bothered, this is it :’)

Author summary; "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9) Pure PWP, sacrilege, and gratuitous smut.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 5

- Robyn Hood

This one is mine! Lololol. I’m not recommending it because I’m saying its good, but I haven't posted it here because honestly I’m lazy, so if you wanna read another one of my multi-chapter fics, then hop on over :)

Author summary; When Robyn gets thrown into the life of The Saints, it causes a big stir between the brothers. The boys deal with their feelings for her in very different ways, and all of their lives get turned upside down. Connor/OC/Murphy.

Slightly AU, set a year after the first film, they don't go back to Ireland.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 15

- Choíche Is go deo

Another one of mine I’m pretty sure I’ve never posted here.

Author summary; Follow Niamh Flannagan as she grows up with the twins in Ireland and watches them turn from boys into men. How will they both deal with having feelings for her? Will jealousy get in the way?

Murphy/OC/Connor.

Chapters; 8

Fanfic.net [Boondock Saints]

- Risk it all

I’m in love with this one, it’s really fucking good.

Author summary; Nolee moved to South Boston with a hope to escape her past and make a better life for herself. What she didn't plan on was the peculiar Murphy MacManus coming into picture and breaking down everything she thought she knew. As they attempt to bond, can she overcome her tainted old life and let down her walls? Especially with one extra problem: she's already pregnant.

Murphy/ OC

Chapters; 22

- Warrior Shepherds

Another one of my all time favs. I love the dynamics of the characters and how well the boys are written. There’s some serious humour thrown into the mix and I laughed out loud so many times when I read this one. You’ll also be pleased to know this author is on Tumblr, @risingphoenix761. If the username looks familiar, it's because I tag her in all of my shit and recently wrote her a BDS drabble for her birthday. She's an awesome human, so check her out :D

Author note; They were called to destroy evil, but crossing paths with a wayward soul meant compromise. And in compromising, the MacManus brothers get more than they bargained for. Connor/OC/Murphy (rated M for violence, language, and sexual content)

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 37

- Amaryllis

Also by @risingphoenix761, and equally good and worth a read.

Author summary; She wasn't necessarily in their plans. They definitely weren't in hers. Yet between fate, coincidence, a few misadventures and some small favors, plans don't count for much anyway. Now the only question is, are they really just friends?

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 6

- Two Lads and A Lass

I love this one!

Author summary; This is a story about my OFC, Timi, who meets the MacManus brothers a year and a half before they become the Saints of Boston. Follow their adventures as Murphy and Connor try to pull the shyness out of Timi and teach her what love and fun truly is.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 27

- Her Defenses

Yet another high on my list, I love everything about this story.

Author summary; "What do you two see in me that makes you want to try and fix me?" A new life in Boston meant giving up everything she had back home. That never meant that she had to give up her defenses at the same time. Rated M for language and (future) adult situations.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 40

- A Saint, A Sinner

Now this one right here, I have probably read so many times I know it word for word, I’m not even kidding. This is very high on my list. The boys are written perfectly, I love every fucking thing about this one, and there's some very interesting hot and heavy shit along the way. If you only read one fic of this list, it needs to be this one.

Author summary; Connor M./OC/Murphy M. BDS prequel/romance. What happens when you drink whisky with the boys? It's got it all: romance (as far as the boys can DO romance), fluff, hurt/comfort, plot, canon plus research. Rated for MacManus mouth, violence, & explicit three-way smut (no twincest). Note: The BDS belong solely to T. Duff

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; Now it says 87, but the author has been reworking this fic so it's actually about 67 I think? I’m unsure, and the chapters are a little shorter than usual fics. It’s still amazing and a lot for you to immerse yourself in.

- Saints Angel

Another good one you need to check out.

Author summary; The Saints help to protect everyone in their city, but what if they had a protector of their own? In comes a woman, a hurt, young, lovely woman that was rescued by them, given a new life. To her, they are her boys and she will now do anything to protect them. She will become their Angel...forever to walk by their side...forever to watch over them.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 21

- Once More, With Feeling

This one is perfect quite honestly, I fucking love the OC so much and everything about this fic.

Author summary; [HIATUS - UNDER REVISIONS][ConnorxOCxMurphy] Avery, an emotionally independent journalist becomes complicated by her simultaneous feelings for both of the twins. As their secret life of vigilante world unfolds, Avery is left unattended to an entitled, delusional psychopath.

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 9

- Alexis's Saints

Another one I absolutely love.

Author summary; Alexis just recently moved to South Boston with her mother. When a nightmare from her past returns full force, she runs into the MacManus brother's and despite trying to stay away from them, she finds herself growing attached to the two brothers as the three try to figure each other out. Rated M for language and some adult themes. Please Enjoy

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 13

- The Possessed

This one is fucking amazing. It’s so different from any other BDS fic I’ve read and well worth the read. There's also a sequel which is Connor/OC, so if you wanna read that, click on their username after reading this one and give that one a read too.

Author summary; She is possessed by something evil and supernatural. They have been asked to help save her, to call upon their faith, but one of them is struggling to believe in anything anymore. If she can't be saved then they will be forced to kill her. Do they have the strength to do what they must? Can he believe in something again?

Murphy/OC

Chapters; 19

- The Librarian

I love the humour in this one and just everything about it.

Author summary; "You're murderers." Rhetta held up a hand, "And please don't give me a speech about how you only killed 'evil' men. I've heard it all before. And while I do agree that the men you killed deserved it, I do not believe that you have the right to take the law into your own hands." "So, you're no' a fan?"

Murphy/OC/Connor

Chapters; 17

OKAY, I’m gonna leave it at that for the BDS ones, I know there's more but you have no idea how long that just took me, omg lolololol.

Archive of Our Own [Daryl]

- His Walls

This one is so fucking good, it’s number two on my list of Daryl fics. I love how it starts off with young Daryl, they write him so well and exactly how I imagine him to be. It’s soooooo good guys, read it

Author summary; People build up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. Truer words have never been spoken where Daryl Dixon was concerned. He never expected anyone to care enough, until someone did.

Starts out AU with 20 yr old Daryl, from Chapter 22 on out we'll be in the ZA-world.

M-rating for smut, language, adult topics, descriptions of abuse & attempted rape.

Chapters; 51

- Gorgeous

I hadn't actually read this one before, but I came across it when searching for ones I had read, and I fucking loved it. Young Daryl is my jam and this was so well written and just a good read. It’s a young Daryl AU, so the rest of the twd characters are in it too, like Rick his best friend, Maggie the readers best friend etc.

Author summary; After meeting Daryl on the way home from a party the reader hatches a plan to get him to like her. But if it isn't friends and well-meaning King County citizens that tell her to stay away from him than it's Daryl himself, who's trying to keep his own feelings from coming to the surface.

Chapters; 16

- 357 Daryl Jerkin' It Drive

This one is a little different, this is a collection of works by the writer where they write not only about Daryl, but a lot of different characters Norman has played. As you can tell by the title, they’re all smut based, and well worth the read. It's also worth mentioning that the writer also has a tonne of other Daryl stories so make sure to head onto their profile to check everything else out, it would take too long to link them all here. Most of them are AU Daryl which I love and they're a really talented writer.

Author summary; none.

Chapters; it's hard to say since its a collection, most are one-shots but I know at least two of the works in there are nine chapters each.

- Night Stalker

Okay I lied, this is the same author as above and the next one is too because it's a sequel to this, but they're my favs by this author, I love them. They're a little dark and they're AU, but if you're like me, you'll love them. I recently recommended the sequel to this one to someone in my ask box.

Author summary; Daryl is mentally unstable, but functioning. He falls in love.

Chapters; 15

- Walking in the Light

The sequel to the above story, I’m in love with it, read it now!

Author summary; Sequel to "Night Stalker". Daryl is improving under the care of his new nurse, Krissy. He is still confused by the hallucination, and why Krissy reminds him so much of Kristin.

Chapters; 17

- Just Another Day

Another AU Daryl story that is amazing.

Author summary; Redemption. It's a concept Daryl Dixon is completely unfamiliar with- but desperately needs. It lives in his dreams, where he's a hero among men in the zombie apocalypse... but that's not real life. Real life is sorrow, loneliness, and pain. Until he meets his beautiful neighbor- then its possibility, hope, and maybe a bullet to the brain.

Chapters; 15

- In The Little Town of Jasper…

Yet another amazing AU Daryl story. Are you sensing a theme here? Looool. I’m pretty sure this is the same author as His Walls that I recommended, but I’m too lazy to check.

Author summary; -Abrasive. Yes, that description fit him perfectly. The guy smelled like trouble, and she knew he would get even more abrasive the longer she talked to him. Too bad she didn't care. -A pretty stranger that talked to him, knew his name and his place of work? In Daryl's book, that just couldn't be good news. AU - Daryl Dixon/OC, Explicit for language and sexual situations. Yes smut!

Chapters; 65

- Second Hand Hearts

This is another fic I highly recommend you read. (Duh, or it wouldn't be on the list, God Sarah ur like so annoying) :’)

Author summary; In her darkest hour, a woman who has lost everything is rescued by a handsome man with a crossbow and nothing to lose-until he meets her. In a nightmarish new world, where the dead prey on the living, can they beat the odds and together make life worth living again?

Chapters; 32

- Transference

Another AU Daryl one, but it’s so fucking good and different to a lot I’ve read.

Author summary; Be warned. This is a story about Daryl seeking out a different and not so mainstream relationship. It is 100% consensual and he asks for it. He seeks out what he wants so if you have read the tags and you continue to read it's on you. Xoxoxox Krissy

Chapters; 14

- Hope is a Waking Dream

I know I keep saying I love the fics, but I do, clearly. This one though is another favourite of mine and you really need to read it. I love the dynamic between the OC and Daryl.

Author summary; Set between Seasons 2 and 3. Melissa Sheppard is alone in the ZA, but she was alone before the dead owned the earth. She prefers it that way. Boy, is she pissed when she gets back to her cabin to find it has been taken by strangers.

Chapters; 24

- Paths Crossed

I’m getting sick of hearing myself say I love it over and over, so just fucking read it and make me happy! *sobs*

Author summary; While out hunting Daryl comes across a stranger and decides to help her despite his better judgement and they begin on their journey together.

Chapters; 61

- Daryl Dixon Loves Me

This is another I hadn't actually read until now when I was searching, I actually really loved it. It's full of smut and that's never a bad thing. It took me a couple of chapters to really get into it, but it's really worth the read.

Author summary; Daryl comes across Lucy (OC) in the woods and claims her for his own. The story begins during the Farmhouse era of the series.

Chapters; 14

- A Star In A Sea Of Darkness; Darkness In A Sea Of Stars

Another one, just read it.

Author summary; After the Governor attacked the prison, the only person left in Daryl's shitstorm of a life was Judith. For Daryl, it's enough. Until he met her.

Chapters; 28

- Roommate

Holy shit, this fic is everything. It's AU pre-ZA and it's just the best. It's so good, I can't even put into words, very high on my list and it also has a sequel set in the ZA that’s 13 chapters long, please read it. If you like AU things, this is for you. The way they write Daryl in this, it's just gold. It’s also told in Daryl's POV which is just amazing.

Author summary; Several bodies are found in the area of a small town. In this town lives Daryl, the killer of all those people. The investigation goes on, the profile is made, and now the police and the FBI look for a specific type, a loner type, ... Daryl's type. He decides to find himself a roommate in an attempt to mislead the police. Let's see how that will turn out for him. AU pre-apocalypse horror story. Obviously very OOC Daryl.

Rated M for a good reason, violence, foul language, adult content... it's all there, consider yourself warned.

Chapters; 12

- Wallflower

Okay, so this ones a little different. It's actually a Daryl/OC/Rick love triangle and I usually don't read Rick fics (loool that rhyme though) but this is a good fic.

Author summary; Thea Graham has lived in Alexandria for over a year and is happy being mostly invisible. This is what happens when she suddenly has the attention of two men.

Chapters; 20

- Running Wild

This story is number one on my list guys, this is right up there with His Walls. This is my number one fav Daryl fic of all time and I’ve read it so many fucking times it's unreal. This fic is life, it’s everything. If I could only read one fic over and over for the rest of my life, it would be this one.

Author summary; Four years have passed since their sanctuary at the prison fell at the hands of the Governor and the surviving members are now thriving at their new home just north of Atlanta. Out of the blue, late one afternoon, Daryl Dixon stumbles across someone they thought they'd lost long ago; a member of the Woodbury community that had returned with Rick to the prison.

Warning: This fic is quite a bit darker than my other ones. If you are looking for fluffy bunny, happy prancing unicorns and rainbow colored endings, this is not the story you are looking for.

Chapters; 67

- Amnesia

I love this fucking story, ‘nough said.

Author summary; Her story isn't all that different from anyone else these days. The world went to shit, and the dead don't want to die. She's lost people. So has everyone else. Who she was before isn't who she is now. But there is one difference between Lena and every other survivor she's come across. She doesn't know who she was. And who she is? Well, she's still trying to figure that out.

During the mayhem of the early days of the apocalypse, a fateful smack on the head stole her memory. All she's ever known is the world she's living in now. But that doesn't mean she's adept at surviving it. Eventually, she ends up alone and near death's door. Till a man on a motorcycle chooses to save her life.

Now she has to decide if who she was is worth finding, or if she'll fight the hell that comes with what's forgotten and strive for something better with the one man in the world who can see past it all.

Chapters; 48

- Cherokee Rose

Yet another amazing fic!

Author summary; Daryl and Raven's world collide after a visit to Hilltop by the group from Alexandria. Raven's only love is her Black Stallion Obsidian and Daryl has been done with loving anything for a long time. He's had a lot of practice hardening his heart but the dark vixen is finding cracks in his armor. Will Raven be the one that will finally make Daryl feel again? Rated for sexual situations.

Chapters; 21

- Lips of an Angel

I fucking love this fic. This author has already made it on this list because she's so fucking good. Just go read all of her shit. Its AU Daryl, which by now you guys should probably be able to tell I love looool.

Author summary; Daryl calls a phone sex line. I know this is a trope that has been done before but I feel like I added my own spin on it. I hope you enjoy. I love Hinder, and I heard this song on the radio, so here we are.

Chapters; 11

- The Country Singer

Amazing story, go forth and read my children…

Author summary; Country Music rising star, Melanie McCall and her songwriting partner are headed to D.C. to find hope after their tour bus breaks down and their band is wiped out. They are given a chance to come to Alexandria...but what will happen once their new neighbors find out she was Beth Greene's favorite singer?

A story about losing voice, but finding hope.

Chapters; 18

- Home at last (Redux)

Yet another good one for you guys to read.

Author summary; There are two people alive in this world for whom childhood was a dangerous, precarious, frightening place. For whom life has never been easy and relationships always strained and unnatural things. Having connected, against the odds and then been torn apart by civilization falling around them. How will they react when they meet each other again.

One of them has survived on a deep well of anger and pain, found a family, of sorts, and begun to try and put his past behind him and learn to let people in. The other has dropped the pretense she'd built up before the world went to shit and now she is as detached and self-reliant as he used to be. What happens when these two meet? Can two misshapes fit together and face the world as a better, stronger, complete whole? Can they find, in each other, a place to call home at last?

Chapters; 84

- Of Myths and Men

I fucking love this one, please read it.

Author summary; This story will follow an Original Female Character and her dog through to TWD world from the beginning of the turn.

She will meet the rest of the group, around mid season four.

There is no Beth in my story, Beth fans. I'm sorry.

Artemis. Greek Goddess of the hunt, wild animals, wilderness, childbirth and virginity. Though many Gods vied for her affections only her hunting companion, Orion, could win her heart.

She'd heard them all, been asked if she was a virgin, asked if she had a twin brother, Apollo, asked if she was raped and attacked by her friends and family, asked if she had killed anyone... She was just a girl from a small town with a stupid name.

Artemis had never wanted an Orion, and now the world was falling apart she gathered the chances of meeting one were slim to none. Right? She has Diablo, her best friend and protector.

Who needed the Greek giant Orion when you had the Devil on your side anyway?

Chapters; 42

- Saving Valentine

OH MY GOD THIS STORY GUYS. I love this one, really fucking love it. High on my list. It's got a little bit of Negan/OC in there, but who doesn't love a bit of Negan? I certainly fucking do lololol It’s mainly Daryl/OC though, so even if Negan isn't your jam, I would really recommend reading this.

Author summary; She fought and killed to survive but she lived for revenge. Valentine waits for the right moment to kill the man who murdered her family. Can she do what needs to be done to escape the Sanctuary that is her prison? Can she accept the helping hand from strangers to do it? Can she live with all she lost? TWD world, non canon timeline.

Chapters; 51

- The Living and The Dead

Can we just talk about vampire Daryl for a second, because like HOLY FUCK WHY IS THIS THE ONLY VAMP DARYL FIC I HAVE EVER FOUND. *Breathing intensifies*

Anywho...this story, just fuck. It's everything, it gives me life, please read it omfg.

Author summary; Daryl is the last of his species, in a world that has just turned stranger and stranger since the day his brother turned him.

He's living as normal a life as you can on your own in the woods surrounded by Walkers... until Evie shows up, and threatens to bring all his instincts right back to the surface.

Chapters; 65

- Beasts and Monsters

If you're after a badass OC, this is the story for you. It's so good.

Author summary; Having lost her entire group, Lena finds herself alone in a crumbling world watched through darkened eyes. She is courageous, savage and uncomplicated. Her only companions being an obedient horse and two pet Walkers. When she finds herself outside a prison, inside the walls she finds a group of survivors capable of giving her a glimmer of hope.

Chapters; 31

- Stay

I really love this one *whines*

Author summary; Hannah has been alone for months, but somehow she's made it. But after discovering a school tucked into the northern hills of Georgia, she encounters a stranger who is just as damaged and broken as she is.

Chapters; 48

- Born Nameless

What's this? Yet another good story? Why yes, it is.

Author summary; Anamika has been alone from the start of the apocalypse and she likes it that way. Groups meant vulnerability, which meant death and Anamika wanted to survive. However, circumstances change and when she agrees to give Alexandria a chance, she finds that she just might not have met the right sort of people before, in particular a dirty, gruff redneck with a hidden heart of gold.

Chapters; 35

Random bonus fic;

- I think I liked you better when you didn't have a knife in your hand, Peaches…

I thought I’d throw this one at you, why’s it a bonus fic you ask? Its a Negan fic, not Daryl, but what the fuck, have it anyway, its really fucking good loooool I fucking love Negan man, I’ve thought about writing him so many times :’)

Author summary; When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she's certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit….

Chapters; 140

And that is it guys! Holy fudge nuts, can we just talk about how long this list took me to make? It’s 20 pages long guys *sobs* don’t say I never give you anything.

That nifty history thing on Ao3 I mentioned, for some reason, quite a few weren’t there and I had to go through the fics to find them. Not every single one is on the list, that would take me fucking forever to do, but these are the best ones I've read.

On that note, I want to just say something.

I’m an avid reader of fics, and as you know if you're here, a writer. So let me just take a quick minute to tell you how much writers appreciate feedback on their fics.

We write for free, we gain no money from what we do, using our spare time and take painstaking hours to not only write fics, but edit, make them perfect and get them out to you. Every like/kudos, or comment/reblog, it means the fucking world to us.

I reply to every comment I get, every time someone likes my shit or comments, it makes my fucking day. Because it reassures me I’m doing good.

I have my days where I think I'm a shit writer and that no one would care if I gave up, and then someone will comment, even something simple like’ this was good’, and it fills me with so much fucking joy.

So, if you read a fic and like it, please let us know. Even if you just like/kudos the thing, just a click, it doesn't take any time, it means so much to us. If you really liked it, comment, let us know. Don't know what to say?

‘Awesome’

‘Good job’

‘I loved this’

All of these are adequate, you don't need to over think what you say. If you liked one line in particular, tell us, it's everything.

Of course you don’t have to, but it’s always welcome is what I’m trying to say.

So with that out of the way, I hope you enjoy the fruits of my labour with this list and I’ve given you a lot to read. My eyes feel like they’re falling out and I might die, but there we go, it’s done. :’)

Much love

Sarah x

87 notes · View notes

angstymarshmallow · 5 years

Text

not goodbye, just see you later.(cal lowell x mc)

[a little note: I wrote a little fic all in one night before bed. It’s nowhere polished but it’s just something while I was feeling inspired and very vaguely addresses a little of the latest Nightbound chapter. If you read it - thank you! If you leave a comment, bless you!]

[words counted: 2324]

[summary: after the night they’ve had, Wren (MC) knows her time with getting to know the man behind the wolf is coming to an end].

The pitter patter sound of his heavy footsteps and the door closing behind him, alerts Wren that he’s back. She yawns, stretching for a moment and winces from bones still too tired to move. All the practice she’s had with Nik is finally to catching up with her and she wonders if there is another vigorous training session lurking in her future.

Still the rest of her is eager to get up. She wants to get a chance to say goodbye to Cal after all. With the impending doom in nearly every direction, she doesn’t think she’ll get another chance. At least, she can pretend her reason for the sudden burst of excitement is purely innocent and not because she’s been secretly waiting for a chance to be alone with him.

Ignoring the ache and abrupt protest from her limbs at the motion, she manages to swing her lanky legs to the side. She waits a beat, bracing her hands near the edge of the bed, pushing her palms into the sheets before finally willing herself enough strength to stand and fish for a pair of sweatpants.

The nap was supposed to help her recover – after the night they had. But all she wants to do now is get up and start moving again before her stiff muscles can stop her. She’s always been restless that way.

Avoiding the mirror, Wren tugs on a loose-fitting T before trudging towards the hall. She’s relieved to find it almost completely quiet – except for the slight creak in the floorboards beneath her feet as they bound towards the flight of stairs.

Guess there’s no way she’ll surprise him at this point. Knowing how unnerving it is that his ears can pick up almost any sounds, Wren gives up on being quiet and quickly hurries the rest of the way.

She smacks right into him in her swift walk towards the kitchen. Her eyes are everywhere except for in front of her and she feels the room rising several degrees higher as her palm touches his bare chest.

As she stumbles to remain on her feet, she feels one of his tawny arms reaching to steady her by the waist.

“Woah, careful.” His smooth voice is somehow louder than her own crazy heartbeat as she manages to tilt up her chin and meet his smile. “Mornin’” He drops his hand a fraction of a second later and Wren misses it almost immediately.

“Hey yourself.” Wren takes a step back, needing a little space to keep her thoughts or her eyes from lingering too long down his chest. What she wouldn’t give to run her fingers across his skin. They’re practically itching to touch him at the thought. “You’re up early.”

Geez, he takes up almost the whole doorway. The thought should be mildly alarming, but instead – it gives Wren all kinds of ideas that are still too early to entertain at this time in the morning.

As if reading her thoughts, Cal smiles apologetically and steps aside; allowing her to enter the quaint and homey kitchen of his house. It’s a burst of warm colours – brown, cream and yellow that reminds her of summertime at her grandparents’ cottage when she was a kid.

“I’m pretty restless in the morning.” He confesses, “and a jog is pretty good to clear my head.”

“Mm,” her answer is nothing short of a grunt. The rest of her is still waking up and pushing past the grogginess of not having enough sleep. She spots the sight of freshly made tea and an assortment of bacon and eggs on the table. “You made breakfast.” She blinks in surprise.

A slight flush colours his cheeks red and Cal glances away. “Yeah, I figured after everything last night….” He trails off for a moment, his eyes and thoughts elsewhere before he shakes his head and gestures towards the food. “Well, we could use a break.”

“Yes, we could.” Wren repeats; not really wanting to linger on the more depressing parts of the past few days.

Cal’s pack was in disarray. With no Kristof or Octavia - there was no clear leadership at the moment. The only thing Wren knew with absolute certainty - Nik and her aren’t welcomed anymore. Cal didn’t need her around anymore.

It won’t be long before she has to say goodbye, and the thought suddenly sends a pang through her chest.She doesn’t want to linger on the subject - but she knows she can’t avoid it forever.

Snap out of it Wren. She chides herself; she can stave it off for now. Turning her attention back to the food, she forces a smile. “Well I can’t eat alone and I bet after your jog you’re probably feeling hungry.”

As if on cue, a grumble loud enough to startle Wren fills the air until Cal laughs. “Yeah, you got me. But I wanted to wait until Donny’s awake,” he hesitates and Wren saddles up next to him.

“He needs a break too.” Her expression softens as he watches the flash of worry in his eyes. He has nice eyes. She places a hand on his arm, pleasantly surprised that he’s still running hot – like a furnace. He’s like a warm blanket on a cold day. “He’s been through a lot, more than what I think a kid should have to go through his age.” She didn’t have the best of a childhood herself, but already she’s seen the turmoil in his eyes, the stress of being Donny’s only protector.

“Donny’s tough.” But his eyes tell her a different story. It tells her there’s been some close calls, even as he looks away.

“But he’s not made of stone and steel. Nobody is.” Though he’s a werewolf- made of much stronger stuff than herself, he’s also a kid – something Wren reminds him of as she adds, “he’s probably still knocked out cold.”

“Our dad grew us all to be tough.” But Cal heaves a sigh, running his hands through his hair as though conceding. “You’re probably right.”

“I usually am.” She smirks. Then her smile falters at the solemn look in his eyes and she sighs. “You’re just worried about him. That’s normal.”

“I am,” he admits. “He’s only got me now.” There’s a bitterness to his words as he says it and Wren eyes him questioningly, waiting for him to continue. He doesn’t. Instead, he steps away and gestures to the table, “ladies first.”

She snorts at the sentiment. She hasn’t been called a lady since she was a kid and even then, it was sparingly. Humouring him, Wren mock curtsies and barely holds back a snicker as he bows back just as exaggerated in return. She watches for a moment as he turns his back to her and grabs a shirt he’s left on the counter; his muscles rippling at the motion.

Something in Wren’s stomach flutters and she swallows back forcefully before darting her eyes elsewhere. She sits first, her stomach grumbling as the scent of freshly made bacon wafts towards her nose. “Mmmm.” She sighs in pleasure. “These smell so good.”

“Thanks,” He beams, showing perfectly white teeth. “After dad left, I had to do a lot more around the house. Cooking just became one of those things I kind of picked up.”

“And by the looks of it, you’re really good at it too.” Wren stabs a piece of bacon with her fork. She takes a moment to appreciate its flavor as its rich goodness touches her tongue. “God, you cook – clean, and play piano?” She shakes her head in playful disbelief, “is there anything you aren’t good at?”

His grin is wolfish as he takes a few pieces of bacon and eggs himself. “I’m not sure yet, but I’ll be sure to let you know if I ever receive a complaint.”

Snorting, Wren playfully steals a piece of bacon from his plate

“Hey!”

“Apparently, you’re not fast enough to stop me though.” She tsks, “Mr. Lowell – what would your brother think if he saw you now? Unable to stop some normal and boring human from taking your food?”

His grin is in full force as he tries to catch her food before she’s able to bring it to her lips. “He’d say, you let her win.”

“Ha!” She’s barely able to dodge his half-attempt before he tries again, and this time their hands connect and suddenly food is the last thing on her mind. She freezes, eyes drawn to him inexplicably as her breath catches in her throat.

His gaze warms her all the way through; turning almost smoldering from its intensity as his fingers tentatively shift to capture her hand completely. “Besides, there’s nothing boring or normal about you Wren.”

Her pulse skyrockets. She can’t look away. “Oh, I don’t know about that.” She tries to laugh, but it ends up becoming a sqawk in her desperate attempt to change the subject. “I mean – you’re a werewolf. You can do pretty much anything. I on the other hand….” She trails off as his fingers slide to her slender wrist.

“In that fight to take Donny’s place– you saved me. Your words kept me going.”

“I – ” He rubs lazy circles around her wrist and her breath catches again. “I think whether or not I said anything, fighting for Donny – you would have done anything to win.”

“I would have done anything yes,” he agrees – eyes never leaving hers’, “but you made it seem all the more possible. I didn’t want to stop fighting until I could win.”

Her stomach does a little flip. She wants to say something witty, but the warm and earnest way he’s looking at her, takes her off-guard. It’s been a long time since anyone’s looked at her like this. And she doesn’t want to break the moment, she wants to savour every bit of him – of this, before she’s gone. “I think I’m going to miss you Cal.” The words slip out, within a heated rush before she can stop them.

The curve of his lips, momentarily grips her attention. It’s almost wistful, unlike the flash of longing in his eyes when she glances back up at them. “I think I’m going to miss you too.”

I wish I didn’t have to go. I wish we had more time. The words are so insistent that it stuns her. She barely knows him and yet something in her gut tells her it’s okay to want more – more than just sitting here, staring at each other.

She wants to kiss him, wants to give him something more than words to remember her by. And she can tell by the sudden hungry looks in his eyes – he wants it too.

Before she can second-guess herself, Wren does it. She breaks the distance between them, watching the way his pupils dilate in excitement before her lips crashes hungrily against him.

His response is immediate; his arms try to tug her closer – despite the table between them, until they’ve almost knocked the plates out of the way in there desperate need to be closer together.

There’s the sound of plates crashing and breaking, as her need to be closer outweighs food - she’s starving for a different kind of desire.

Wren doesn’t stop to even glance at the dishes now torn askew and broken. In her haste to get to him, she hauls herself over the wooden surface and utters a soft moan as his strong arms finally find her. They drag her the rest of the way.

She hears her name on his tongue, hears the growl of desire escape his lips as his fingers grip her tightly. It makes her stomach curl in anticipation for more.

“Cal.”

His name is like a plea on her lips until his fingers drift between them, running small circles across her back as she manages to steady her arms and entwine them around his neck. She grounds herself against him.

He moans again – it’s a guttural sound. There’s a hunger to the way he deepens their kiss; like no matter how much she returns it with almost unquenchable thirst – his lips are more demanding - irater to have her. They press almost insistently against her softer ones, coaxing them wide open – tongue arrogantly finding hers’ as his hips shift to meet her tempo. Although his hands are gentle, they still slip beneath her shirt and she shudders at feel of his fingers scraping her skin.

Everything inside of her wants suddenly way more of him.

Then just as quickly as the world between them vanished, it quickly comes back into focus at the sound of footsteps steadily finding the stairs.

Wren breaks the kiss first; needing fresh air into her longs as her breaths turn embarrassingly heavy. She’s still fighting to breathe as Cal helps her quickly on her feet; his breath almost panting before he clears his throat.

His hands linger on her hips a moment longer while he turns his head and looks from the open door back to her, then towards the door again. “Damn.”

A laugh bubbles Wren’s throat. She manages to mask it with a cough at the last second as her hands quickly sift to fix Cal’s hair.

He extends the same courtesy. He bends slightly to run his fingers through her wavy hair, fighting a smile until their gazes’ lock on each other again.

“Guess this is goodbye, huh?” The thought makes her frown.

Cal smoothens the crease in her brow and the gesture makes her expression soften. “Not goodbye.” His words are emphatic as he lifts her chin. “Just see you later.” He says it with so much conviction that Wren wants to believe him.

She just doesn’t know if she can. Not trusting herself to speak for a moment, she nods. “Maybe I should hold you to that.”

The footsteps they’ve heard upstairs has finally caught up to them. They’re still locked on each other until Wren manages to break eye contact first.There’s the sound of a foul curse as a second set of feet stumbles in and they both glance up at Nik and Donny at the same time.

“Well, there goes breakfast.”

tags: @cora-nova, @universallypizzataco

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