#also it feels really rough and awful but i'm making myself stick to my decision to not edit until the entire first draft is finished

[inaris-mage-of-storms]

Farmboy AU Part 5. Jimmy and Scott explore Tumble Town and their growing relationship. Content warning for mild alcohol use and brief nudity/suggestive content.

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Jimmy's grandfather had been right when he told Scott there wasn't much to Tumble Town anymore. Many of the buildings he could see looked abandoned, and even the ones with some movement in and out were falling apart. The train tracks were unfinished and overgrown, and if a station had ever been built, Scott couldn't tell which building it might have been. One of the old buildings had 'BANK' painted across the top in faded letters, but the windows were boarded over and the steps had rotted through.

If he had been on his own Scott would have headed straight for the saloon, but Jimmy spotted the general store and grabbed Scott's hand. "It's huge!" gushed Jimmy, pulling him over to it and peering inside the dusty window. "There's so much stuff in there!"

"Well then, let's take a look around," said Scott, pushing open the door. The man behind the counter barely glanced up from his outdated newspaper when the bell chimed, but he took a second look at Scott's traveler's clothes and narrowed his eyes.

Scott smiled politely and made sure to keep his free hand out of his pocket and well in sight. Jimmy still had a firm grip on the other, tugging Scott around as he looked at dry goods and household items that looked as if they'd sat in the same place for the last ten years. It wasn't anything like the cleaner, better stocked, communal places Scott was used to seeing in other towns, but Jimmy was fascinated by every bag and tin on the shelf and it was some time before Scott managed to coax him back outside.

As they strolled down the main path, the doors to the saloon were thrown open and a man all but fell out. "Go home and sober up, Billy!" shouted a voice from inside. "You act like that to my girls again and I'll save the sheriff some trouble and shoot you myself!"

The man snarled some choice words in the barkeep's direction but stumbled away from the saloon and down the path, right into Scott. "Oh dear. I'm so sorry," said Scott immediately, holding both hands up in a placating gesture. "How clumsy of me. Are you all right?" He smiled as Billy cursed again. "I do apologize. Though I can't say I'm all that disappointed," he said, resting a hand on the man's bicep. "It isn't every day I get to fall into a strong, good-looking fellow like yourself."

Billy looked taken aback a moment before preening at Scott's words. "Well. No harm done I suppose. You new in town?"

Jimmy clenched his jaw at the way the man's eyes swept over Scott, but Scott just tilted his head and smiled up at his target, biting his lower lip. "Oh, just passing through." He ran a hand down Billy's arm. "But I might be tempted to stay a little longer if, say, a handsome gentlemen were to be thinking about buying me a drink tomorrow evening."

"I can, uh, I can do that," said Billy eagerly. "I'll be here. Usually am."

"Then I'll look forward to it," said Scott with a sweet smile, and stepped back. "For now, though, my companion and I have some business to attend to, I'm afraid."

The man tipped his hat clumsily and staggered toward one of the derelict houses, and Jimmy frowned at Scott. "We won't be here tomorrow evening," he said.

Scott smirked and took Jimmy's arm. "I know," he said, leading Jimmy towards the saloon. "That's why our friend is buying us a drink tonight instead." He flashed the coin purse he held in his other hand before slipping it into his coat.

Jimmy gaped at him. "What? You - !" He glanced around and lowered his voice to a hiss. "You're a pickpocket?"

"I," said Scott, "am an artist. It's just a little slight of hand." He sighed at Jimmy's wounded, disapproving look. "Jimmy. He was just going to spend it on more drink that he clearly didn't need, and from what we overheard earlier, he's not a nice man. And now, he gets to go home and sleep it off, not bothering anyone, and we get to have a nice dinner and sleep on a bed tonight instead of in a bedroll." He tilted his head and smiled up at Jimmy much in the same way he had smiled up at Billy. "No harm done, right?"

"I guess," said Jimmy uncertainly. "It did seem like he wasn't very nice." He still wasn't sure how he felt about the theft, but he did know how he felt about the pleased look and the kiss on the cheek his acquiescence earned from Scott.

The inside of the saloon was only slightly more lively than the inside of the general store had been. A handful of people sat by themselves at tables or the bar, and the barkeep stood on the side with no customers while he wiped down a mug. Jimmy felt self-conscious as almost every head in the place turned their way, but Scott seemed unbothered as he leaned on the counter by the barkeep. "Evening," said Scott, getting the slightest of nods in return, and placed down a couple of coins. "Two beers, please. And what do you have for food?"

"Just threw the last of the pork chops in the stew pot," said the barkeep. "Should be chewable in another fifteen minutes or so."

"I...see. Thank you," said Scott. "And do you have a room free for the night?"

"He does, but I bet you'd be a lot more comfortable in mine." A woman came up beside Scott and slid her arms around his arm, and Jimmy snapped his eyes to the bottles behind the bar to avoid staring at her plunging neckline. "Got a nice feather mattress with room for all three of us if you'd like," she said with a charming smile.

Scott smiled and patted her hand. "Thank you, but no. Just need a room for my friend and myself."

The woman pouted a little but didn't seem offended by his rejection, still leaning against him. "Irene," said the barkeep, "let go of the poor fellow and go make sure that room's ready for guests, would you?" With a cheery sure thing, Nate, Irene let go of Scott and disappeared upstairs. When the stew was ready Scott thanked Nate and he and Jimmy carried their mugs and bowls to a table.

"Oh man, this smells so good!" said Jimmy, immediately picking up bowl and sipping from it while Scott used his spoon to poke at what he hoped was actually the promised pork chops. "Haven't had pork in ages."

Scott decided a chunk of potato was a safe first bite and was pleasantly surprised by the well-seasoned broth. "Try your beer," he said, nodding at the mug. Jimmy eagerly took a gulp, only to make a face immediately and getting a laugh out of Scott. "I suppose I should have warned you, it's a bit of an acquired taste for a lot of people," he said, taking a sip of his own.

"It's not bad," said Jimmy, eyeing the amber liquid. "Just... different." He took another drink, smaller this time, and considered it. "No, it's not bad," he decided, and went back to his stew.

They were almost done eating when Scott saw Irene come back downstairs and waved her over. "Does the room we're renting come with a tub?" he asked.

"Sure does, darlin'," said Irene. "If you're lucky, the enchants on the tap might even work tonight."

"Excellent," said Scott. "And if I could make one more request..."

He pressed a coin into her hand and whispered something in her ear, and she grinned. "Why, I think that can be arranged," she said. "I'll go get that sorted and leave you boys to the rest of your dinner." She winked at a confused Jimmy and walked away.

"What was that about?" asked Jimmy. "What did you ask her?"

"It's a surprise," said Scott, looking pleased with himself. Jimmy tried to wheedle more information out of him but he wouldn't budge. When they had finished their stew and a second round of beers, Scott stood and offered his hand to Jimmy to lead him upstairs. The room waiting for them wasn't much in Scott's eyes. But the covers on the single bed looked recently changed, tucked and smoothed with care, and a mostly-fresh poppy sat in a vase on the nightstand. Every surface he could see was free of dust, and the lanterns were already burning. He peered inside the drawer of the nightstand, pleased to see the bottle of Thick Potion he had requested, and shut it again.

The bathtub was in one corner of the room hidden behind a privacy screen. Scott eyed the symbols inscribed on the copper pipes before turning the tap, and the symbols flickered for a moment before lighting up properly. Jimmy leaned over Scott's shoulder and stared in awe. "I thought these only existed in like...big cities, or really fancy houses," said Jimmy. "But there's one right here in Tumble Town!"

"Well, most of them are a lot nicer," said Scott, testing the water temperature with a finger as the glow on the symbols faded. "It looks like they don't have anyone who can renew the enchantments when they wear out." He started shedding his clothes, glancing over his shoulder at Jimmy with a playful smile. "Come on, there's just enough room for us to share. Who knows if it'll hold up well enough for a second round."

"Share?" Jimmy's voice went up an octave. "I mean - if you think - and I guess it is less water wasted - "

Scott laughed and stepped into the tub. "I'll even close my eyes while you get in," he said, and settled into the water while doing exactly that. "Oh, that feels nice," he sighed happily. "Some day when I decide to stop wandering I'm going to build my own house, and the first thing I'll have put in will be enchanted water pipes."

Jimmy stepped in as well, and Scott waited until he was settled on the opposite side before opening his eyes again. "Wow," said Jimmy, the novelty of a warm bath distracting him from Scott's legs pressed against his own. "Gosh. This is nicer than the river, or getting a fire going."

He carefully looked everywhere except at Scott while they washed, until he heard Scott giggle quietly. He was about to ask what Scott found funny when Scott leaned forward and pressed their lips together. "You're so shy," said Scott, putting a hand to Jimmy's face and stroking his cheek with a thumb. "It's cute."

"Oh...Sorry?" said Jimmy uncertainly, the tips of his ears bright red. "Or, thank you? I don't - gosh," he floundered.

Scott laughed again and turned so his back was to Jimmy, handing him the bar of soap. "Wash my back for me?" he asked over his shoulder. Jimmy's breath caught in his throat, but he took the soap and did as he was asked until Scott leaned back against him without warning. "I can feel your heart pounding," murmured Scott. "Do I make you that nervous?"

"I'm not nervous!" insisted Jimmy. "I'm just - you're - I - ...mmh." Scott reached up and twined his fingers in Jimmy's hair, pulling him into a kiss. "...What was I saying?" asked Jimmy in a daze when they broke apart, and Scott's breath on his cheek as he laughed felt even warmer than the water around them.

[angsty-nerd]

Meta: Echo’s Big Fight in 3x09

Let's talk about the Big Echo fight. Because wandering around in the fandom this past week, I’ve seen a lot of very specific conclusions as far as what they were or weren't arguing about, and I’m not sure my take on that scene really aligns with other folks. So let me try to break it down a bit and give y’all an alternative perspective on it.

To start with, the scene opens with Max on edge because they're breaking and entering. Liz is singularly focused on the mission, and he's kinda freaking out. Instead of responding to his concerns, Liz gets straight to business.

"Ooh, ooh, this is interesting. Heath left Genoryx two days after I did. Must have realized he didn't need to be working underneath their corporate thumb."

Liz is kinda projecting here. Heath never once displayed any discomfort with Genoryx as a company the way that she did. He wanted her to stay. He wanted the resources there. We know these things as an audience, and Liz would too if she was thinking through the big picture at this point in time.

Max, on the other hand, doesn't know any of that. Here's what Max hears from Liz: he hears surprise. He hears Liz acknowledge that this is unexpected news. And right as he’s processing this unexpected reveal...Max sees Heath's Wild Pony t-shirt.

Weird coincidence #1 from Max's POV was Heath (the guy who is currently so pissed at Liz that he won't take her calls) supposedly rescuing Liz's science out of the good of his heart so that Genoryx doesn’t get their hands on it? This doesn't add up.

Weird coincidence #2 was Heath quitting Genoryx - a decision Heath made that Liz wasn't expecting.

The Wild Pony t-shirt is now the 3rd thing that doesn't add up. And if the t-shirt clue isn't adding up for you, see my post about it here:

The T-shirt is strike 3 for Max. He can't really pretend that he's not suspicious of Heath anymore. So he broaches the subject with her.

"How much do you know about this guy, Heath? How close were you?"

Max is feeling uncomfortable and looking for more information. He's trying to make the clue make sense. Why would Heath have the T-shirt? Does he have a connection to Roswell that Liz doesn't know about? And Liz doesn’t listen.

"This isn't the time to be jealous about a boy I met."

For all that Liz is clinical and on mission, she jumps very quickly to assuming that Max is NOT on mission. Yes, Max is inherently more emotional than she is. But throughout the episode he's been asking questions about Heath and NOT JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS. That's one of the keys to me here. Max really is trying to give her the benefit of the doubt about him.

At Liz's house, he asked about "the boyfriend" but he wasn't doing it in a jealous or judgy way. If anything it could almost be interpreted as concern. He started with "were you happy" and only when Liz kind of metaphorically admitted that any happiness was a façade...that's when he brought Heath into it. And yeah, Liz says that he impacted her life and helped her grow, but she didn't exactly express romantic feelings that would make Max jealous. So when she basically jumped straight to the jealousy assumption instead of actually discussing this with him, he starts getting worked up. Because she is not hearing him. She is not acknowledging that the facts they have found during this investigation are not adding up. So he is honest and blunt about what he's thinking.

"I'm just saying it's possible that he took your one-of-a-kind alien spores and quit, so that, just like you, he could use the research himself, free of Genoryx."

Max is the one who brings the science into this conversation. Not Liz. And he's not criticizing or questioning HER application of the science. He's questioning the trustworthiness of Heath. Because the lies are starting to jump out at him like a friggin’ neon light.

BUT — now that he's specifically brought up the science, he has her attention. Because Max questioning her science is HER sore spot. So what does she say back to him? Something kinda judgy.

"That grand trust speech certainly had a short shelf life."

Side note: I really don't think there actually was a "grand trust speech" in this episode. I can think of a few scenes where there might have been an opportunity for one. In particular during the milkshake scene when he admits to saving her tapes. But they actually don't talk about trust in that scene. They talk about having hard conversations. They talk about moving forward instead of looking backwards. But they don't talk about trust. My guess is that there might have been content cut for time at some point in this episode, that may have included some grand declaration from Max, but that's really just speculation on my part.

Regardless…Liz's response to Max bringing up the science is to basically accuse him of not trusting her. Which is not what he was saying. He was not questioning her use of the science. He was questioning her trust in Heath through the context of her science. So he elaborates on what he IS saying, and as he does, he's getting more and more worked up...because this does relate directly to his personal fears, and, frankly, his buried trauma that he's never properly addressed.

"I trust you. Okay? But I don't trust some guy I have barely met with a secret that could endanger me, could endanger my family and break the frickin' Internet if it came out."

Max doesn't know Heath, and he doesn't trust Heath with a secret that could endanger Michael and Isobel. His emotions are escalating, because now he's thinking about the science that scares him in the hands of a guy that all signs points to being potentially untrustworthy, and he's triggered.

BUT he doesn't back up his argument. He doesn't point out the very specific evidence he's identified that Heath is probably lying to Liz.

And Liz is inherently reactive and sometimes overly defensive (see 1x09 list of Liz's flaws). So even though he's focused on Heath, she immediately reacts defensively and takes it as a criticism of HER.

"You think I would let myself be conned?"

"No, I think you came out here looking for a partner, and it could blind you."

*deep breath* and this is where it starts to get personal. And rough. Max isn't entirely wrong here. But he also kind of is. Liz didn't choose Genoryx for partnership. She was looking for resources, freedom to do the science she wanted to do, and to save her father from deportation.

But partnership? Yeah, Liz wanted that. But she wanted that from MAX. She was looking for partnership in life, not in science.

And now that Max has thrown that direct criticism out there, Liz is going to throw a bomb right back at him.

"Just because you sabotaged me when I thought you were mine does not mean that Heath would take the same path."

Ouch. This is the hardest line in this whole scene for me to work with. Because it is combative. And purposefully hurtful.

BUT…she is NOT TALKING ABOUT HER SCIENCE. She has not said a single word about her science in this argument. She moved past that. She had the epiphany that she was wrong and she apologized (3x03). That is in the past for her.

This argument, for Liz, is about betrayal. This is about her believing that they were going to be partners and move their lives forward together (2x12), and right when she believed in that future, Max made another massive decision that directly impacted her life (just like he did in 1x13) instead of working with her to make big decisions together.

"And just because you changed the wallpaper doesn't mean you've mended your blind spots."

I really hate this "change the wallpaper" line. It feels like they're mixing metaphors. Liz called her life a commercial. Max is saying that she's changed her decor. Like...pick one and stick with it.

That aside… I think this barb is about her arrogance. Earlier in the scene, she seemed baffled at the idea that Max believes she could have been conned by Heath, because Liz is used to always being the smartest person in the room. She thought she was smarter than Diego and he figured her out. She believed her lab was secure, but Diego (possibly) got in. Sometimes, like most scientists, Liz is so bogged down in the complicated, brilliant details she’s thinking through, that she misses simple things that contribute to the big picture. And I think that's what Max is getting at here. In her arrogance, she believes that she can control the Heath situation. But she's not acknowledging the human factor here - that Heath is a person who may have his own unspoken ulterior motives driving him. Just like Diego did. She's just not seeing what Max is seeing.

BUT - again I'll say. Max is also not communicating the scope of the evidence he is collecting. They're both wrong here.

"I have learned my lessons, but you... oh, my God, you sound an awful lot like the guy who blew up my lab. So forgive me, but you're making it perfectly clear why I felt like I had to go and change the wallpaper."

This is the only line where Liz even comes close to talking about her science, but again, she's talking about his betrayal. She's talking about him undermining their partnership. She's talking about her need for a change of scenery from HIM.

And that’s when Max blows out the safe and they put the fight on hold to finish their investigation.

But, to sum it up…the fight was all about trust and betrayal. It was necessary for them to work through it, though frankly? I wish they could have finished the discussion. Because instead of them coming to some sort of peace with their trust in each other, the truth came out about Heath, Liz realized that she was wrong, she apologized, and they moved forward together, on mission.

I can’t help pointing out though…after the fight and Liz's epiphany about Heath, Max and Liz spent at least 15 hours in a car together. And I'm sorry, I refuse to believe that they didn't talk about anything important for 15 hours. Fic writers assemble? 😆

Many thanks to @ober-affen-geil for doing a quick review and checking me on opinions vs facts. Very important.

And for my next trick… road trips, life choices, and Robert Frost! Coming soon to a Tumblr near you…

[kinglucaslallemant]

I just saw the description for the fanfic Happier on ao3 where its years down the line and Aaron is happy without Robert and I actually felt my heart sink. Honest to god it hurt me physically after reading that. Like everything just hit me like a bus. Nothing has happened between them and now I'm hurting emotionally... Help

Oh love

I’ve been trying to figure out what to say to you but I have been very disheartened myself. 

I’m so sorry babe. I really really am. We have a very active, involved fandom and that means that when things take a bad turn we feel it deeply. 

It sucks to think that they’ve been tainted. I know it can be really hard to see past something like that and find the couple that you love in the mess that’s left of them. But no one can truly take Robron from you if you don’t let them. The Aaron and Robert that I love still exist. Logically I know that, they’re (as lame as it sounds) a part of me. My heart hurts now but…

I found them at a really rough time in my life and they - along with the people I met who also loved them - got me through it. Because of that they can never be truly ruined for me. Their existence brought something into my life that can never be taken from me and that is what I am choosing to focus on right now.

Chances are they will never be able to be exactly what they were again. Despite the death threats, manslaughter and the general awfulness they have had off and on they still had something epic and… I can’t believe I’m actually using this word but… pure.

It was a soul deep kind of love and unfortunately a source of cheap plot drama that you can find in pretty much all soaps was used in an attempt to liven things up. It backfired. There have been times where we have been an “at the end of the day they love each other and that’s enough” fandom. We’ve had to be to make it through.

But that was when we were looking for the best in an affair that we all saw had the potential to be more. Or when we knew that pain and guilt were driving them but that they stilled loved each other deep down. Our faith was taken advantage of and exploited. ED lost the plot and doesn’t seem to understand that what we loved about them was their unique ability to be bone deeply devoted to each other. 

But regardless. Loving them has never been easy. I knew that it wouldn’t be going in and while I hoped that this day would never come I was ready for it from the very beginning. At this point we each have to do what’s best for us and honestly we’re in a similar boat to the one Aaron will be.

We can pack it in and move on or we can try to stick it out and hope that this hasn’t broken something for us - in us - that can’t be fixed. 

But no one has to make that decision right now. Most people that I have seen act like you have to know this instant how you feel and whether you’re “a real fan” (can you hear my eyes rolling?). But you don’t - you have all the time in the world to let the dust settle and see figure out how you feel and what you want when it’s best for you. If you need to step back then step back, they’ll still be there if or when you’re ready.