#also irt the knowing what to say I cannot clarify because you just have to like. Know how....to talk...like. there is a certain way and I

[f0point5]

idk who's translating what colapinto said, but he most definitely wasn't talking ab driving styles bc they never asked him ab that. the initial question was ab what f1 drivers he looked up to as a child. he mentioned drivers that made a mark in the sport like fangio, schumacher & senna & other argentinian drivers that made a mark in his country. he said there were some drivers whose documentaries he'd seen & that he related to them irt their personal stories. then, as an addition to the last question, they asked him ab current drivers he likes. notice how they weren't talking ab driving styles. he said he liked lando & george. they asked him ab gasly & he said "him not so much... verstappen is crazy, he's won 3 championships. ab him there's smth i also don't like. & it's like, he's a great driver-" one of the guys interrupted him to ask what he doesn't like. another one said "he's arrogant". then colapinto said "yeah..." like unsure. the guy who said that said, "you didn't say it, i did" & colapinto mumbled smth like "i can't/shouldn't say smth like this bc verstappen's fans will hate me". he clarifies that what he meant he didn't like is "i think that when everything is good & you win 3 years in a row it's very easy to be happy. but when things don't go well and things happen that you don't want, you look at verstappen and he loses it a little*. and to me he's the same as before. like when i saw him when i was a kid and things wouldn't go well. to me he's the same it's just that now everything is very easy".

*he said "se sale un poco de sí" which to me means "he loses it/himself a little" in regards to his temper/attitude when things aren't going his way

tldr; he said that he didn't like max's attitude when things weren't going his way. like, max is my favorite driver but... that's fair criticism given the mad max nickname & that max is/was also known for being very cutting (& aggressive even) at times when talking ab/to other drivers. asides from that, i literally cannot see max taking this comment seriously as a 3 times world champion. like imagine hamilton or alonso caring ab this. idk why it's getting sm attention

And I oop!!!!

I feel like I should probably watch the whole podcast but I’m not sure I can be bothered 😂

Tbh, when I originally saw the cut clip what I didn’t think was smart/professional is him basically saying he doesn’t vibe with people, when in theory he could be their colleague one day. It seemed a bit childish to be so ready to speak on people when you are hoping to be spending a lot of time with them professionally. And I stand by that, I feel like he should have just said who he liked and said “I don’t know them so I can’t say” about everyone else. Also, in the translation I saw, he said there was “something he didn’t like” about Max and then there was no more explanation to it, and I felt like it was a bit of a cop out to not say with his chest what the issue was. But he explained himself with his chest so I can take that back. I stick to my point that he should have just talked around the question though.

But.

It’s totally valid for him not to click with people’s vibes. Everyone has their own way with dealing with passion and pressure, and sometimes watching how other people deal with it gives you a bit of an ick. People are giving it attention because people really can’t handle differences of opinion anymore. The snowflake attitude is out of control.

I can’t see Max giving a single fuck. I’m a petty bitch, so I was Max I just wouldn’t go out of my way to help him. But I’m not Max thankfully lol. But seriously, Max is just there to do his job, I don’t think he cares what the temp at Williams thinks of his coping mechanisms. Why would he?

[pathologising]

hey angel, i hope this is okay to ask, i just wanna know if you have any tips on like.. spotting medical professionals who are unsafe to talk to or are uneducated about PDs? im almost certain i have one but im terrified of going to a doctor about it cuz ive already faced a ton of ableism from doctors before sO kdsajhjdsa -🍞

any doctor that shows any distaste when talking about low empathy is a red flag to be honest. Any professional that is also unwilling to listen to your concerns irt your own behavior and emotions is also a concern in general but a lot of the time you have to kind of ??? Phrase it correctly when talking to them I literally cannot explain it but being careful with your wording is important to send the correct message. Saying "I think I have xyz" is off putting to any professional good or bad because they do sometimes see people who do believe they have something based off very little knowledge /a 5 minute google search and unfairly write anybody who's genuinely done their own research in order to find out how to cope with something they don't have a name for, so you could say something like "I am struggling with [insert description of a unique symptom of your situation]."

I also think its good to go in with a mindset that you can be absolutely wrong but so can a professional. Be an advocate for yourself (easier said than done) but also be willing to have a lengthy discussion. If they write you off immediately I wouldn't vibe with that tbh BC I think a good professional is willing to do just as much listening as they do talking!!

Also remember that they are seeing you from the outside! They don't know you and are learning about you through every communication, and with pds theyre complex as hell and some symptoms are similar to other disorders. Also they might be seeing something you aren't, because we often think we know ourselves but sometimes my doctor will point out something and I'll be like damn OKAY WOAH.

I hope this makes sense omg but the whole process in general has to be a mixture of trusting your gut, knowing that while sure you can be incorrect...your professional can also be wrong especially if theyre just throwing shit out within like 4 sessions lol !!! but also I wouldn't recommend going in looking entirely for a diagnosis but also focus on treating the symptoms as ur main thing !! A label is nice because it puts a name to whst you're expeirencing, but judt because you've received the acknowledgement doesnt mean you're symptoms are being properly treated !!! Talking abt what ur going thru and having a doctor who KNOWS what to do to help is tantamount in my opinion and if your doctor seems like they have no idea what can be done to help you I'd dip

But also remember theres no cut and dry way to go about this !! This is all my philosophy and influenced on my person experience in the system (and I'm also not a professional myself duh) but it may not work for you or fit into your experiences <3 you judt kinda gotta see what happens n advocate for urself n see what works for u Ig ! Other people might also have tips n philosophies and ideas so don't be afraid to ask about other peoples experiences and stuff

[likeadog]

okay so im seeing people get anons about this and its coming up in friend groups so i think now's actually a pretty good time to tackle the idea of religious (specifically cultic) abuse in media and how we as an audience interact with it

TLDR: dehumanization and sexualization of cult victims furthers the misunderstanding that cults "don't exist now", and RA survivors would feel much safer in fandom spaces if people acknowledged and analyzed the harmful portrayals of cults in media.

cw: discussions of cults, abuse, and sexual assault

also, if you have questions, please shoot me an ask or dm (off anon preferably, though)

let me start this with a disclaimer that i dont think every media that features ra is inherently bad. i think thats a bit harsh and as an ra survivor ive come to terms with the fact that there are going to be depictions of it in ways that maybe dont give it the respect it deserves, and trying to "what about [x]" everything will only lead people to talking in circles with themselves. what i want to address here is how you, as a consumer, respond to and parse out what cultic abuse means in any particular portrayal of it.

*also please don't harass people about their RAS status, like, if you see someone enjoying something with a less than stellar portrayal of cults, don't send them asks or dms like "well are YOU a cult survivor?" reducing the consumption of media to a yes or no game based on identity-- especially an identity that comes as the result of explicit pain and spiritual violation is not only derivative but also degrading to survivors and the people you're grilling. all we want is for people to think carefully about what they spread and portray, and how they think about those situations.

so, i think the first thing to tackle is...what is a cult? This is something that's surprisingly hard to define, especially in fictional settings with fictional cults. For example, (and pardon the use of this example, I don't feel like hunting for others), My Hero Academia has an organization in it that I would say fits the criteria for being a cult, but by and large isn't considered one by fans because it's not explicitly called a cult. (Although numerous cult jokes have been made about it). It also has an organization that IS explicitly referred to as a cult.

So, when you're dealing with how to process what is and is not a cult-- and how to make your presence safe for RA survivors, you have to be able to sift through more than just "did the narrative tell me this is a cult?"

There's a few different models people use; one of the most popular being the BITE model-- but I should clarify that the BITE model is really tailored towards religious and strictly hierarchal cults, but can be applied to other kinds of cults.

(and yes, there are cults other than religious/spiritual ones. corporate cults and wellness cults have been on the rise, and it's good to keep that in mind both when engaging with media and also in the real world.)

However, I'm a religious cult survivor, so a lot of my experience is strictly irt this, so please take what I say with a grain of salt, and know that I don't speak for every cult survivor, every religious cult survivor, or every religious abuse survivor. I am One Guy on the internet.

When it comes to media, I have a few questions I run through in order to figure out if something is A Cult.

1) Fringe Ideas. This one is one of those that most people know-- and often incorrectly use to attribute cult status to other things. However, it is worth mentioning, that you don't become a cult by following mainstream ideologies. BUT. BUT. not every group with weird ideas is a cult! Some groups are just weird and are fine being weird. It's a rectangles and squares situation. All cults have fringe ideas and behaviors, not all fringe ideas and behaviors belong to cults.

2) Hierarchies. Cults always have people in power, at least in my experience. There have been ideas thrown around about "completely decentralized cults"-- but to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about that concept, and I don't know enough about it personally to say whether or not it's legitimate. If you have any sources, hmu.

BUT. Most cults have a power structure. You're going to have leaders, usually with a handful at the verrrrry tippy top, whose word is law. This can be associated with things like religious ideas (channelling god) or being "a genius", like in corporate cults.

3) Control. I cannot stress this enough; cults are all about control. How you think, feel, behave-- they discourage critical thought, encourage snitching on each other, buddy-group behavior; the BITE model explicitly lists these models of control.

4) Us V Them. Cults will give all those that oppose them or simply don't believe them a bad name. They're uneducated, they're evil-- it varies cult to cult, but you'll see them turning the non believers into a homogenous, frightening group. They want to discourage looking outwards, and they want to viciously isolate members.

Other things of note are extremism, talks of enlightenment, harsh punishments, the cult eating large portions of the member's finances, etc.

However, this post is largely to address FICTIONAL cults. and the unfortunate fact of the matter is that fictional cults are rarely fleshed out in a way that can be held one to one to a model, and, more often, don't even afford the victims of a cult humanity.

and this is one of THE biggest issues you find in cult portrayals. the leader is usually a charismatic, or perhaps menacing, figure, one that usually our protagonists-- who are rarely cult victims, they are typically outsiders (not inherently bad, mind you)-- faces personally, with the hoardes of mindless zombies forming one giant hurdle.

Naturally, this can be...hurtful. There's nuance to who is and is not a victim in a cult (although my rule of thumb is to look at what abuses that person specifically exerts over others-- and you can be both a victim and perpetrator of abuse. to treat them exclusively is lacking all nuance), but the people are the bottom, even if they joined willingly, are people who were preyed upon. Not only that, but many media cults forget that people can be born into cults, and never really had a choice to begin with. To treat these people like they are mindless-- or that they deserve the suffering they are in because they are there-- completely erases all nuance, humanity, and understanding to the cult survivior struggle. Not only that, but it continues to sensationalize and deify cult leaders, which is doing their job for them, really.

The second biggest issue is the romanticization and sexualization of cults, religious abuse, and cultic abuse.

(yes...this is a thing.)

The use of cults as a way to make a character edgy or tragic is one thing, but there's something sinister about using it to project a certain sexual behavior onto that character-- whether it be as the subjugator or subjugated. Sexual abuse is rampent in cults, and ritualistic sexual abuse is used to justify it. To sexualize the idea of a cult(ist) raping and abusing someone is...beyond offensive to anyone who has been in a cult where their sexual safety and autonomy has been compromised. Or, in some cases, the cultist is so naive and sheltered they can be easily coerced and taken advantage of due to their brainwashing.

This is...bad? This is bad. To ignore the fact that these depictions are just as harmful as any other romanticization of abuse is to ignore the real suffering of cult victims.

Really, the larger problem is that people don't really think cults exist, not really. They're all things of the past, or things that exist solely in fiction-- when in reality, every day cults form and continue to grow. If you've ever met a mormon, you've met a cultist. The moment you begin to process and parce the fact that this isn't as bizarre and unusual and fictional as it seems, you take the steps to respecting people who have been in that situation and become better at detecting cults, cult recruitment, and are able to more clearly assess what you take in.

Once again, there's so many bad portrayal of cults that it would be...stupid to call for an immediate disowning of anything with it in it. I personally have come to terms with the idea that I will have gripes about these portrayals in most cases, but rarely do I see people other than fellow RA or cult survivors discussing these portrayals. I'm hoping people can become more aware and willing to discuss cults in a serious and analytical context and criticize how they're portrayed in the things they love.

And once again, cult survivors are NOT a monolith. If a cult survivor expresses they are uncomfortable with something I said here that I'm not, or vice versa, listen to the people who actively surround you and whom you care about.

[belfrygargoyles]

the tags on that post went on way long ive never reached the tag limit before.

but honestly it is really important to me that people start learning the limits of what can and cannot be helped irt mental illness and neurodivergency, both from the standpoint of someone directly experiencing it themselves and from that of a bystander in someone else’s life looking in. Particularly with adhd specifically because that’s just the one I have myself and have both experienced and witnessed the most “reason not an excuse” type treatment as a result, and also the one I’m getting the creeping feeling is being more widely accepted as ‘cringe’ to have and talk about online.

But that’s just a feeling I get without much to back it up. I don’t see much of it firsthand because I don’t really frequent many different circles or websites, but I get hints of it from the way certain posts are spread around and just knowing the ways things tend to go. Usually in the form of the odd story or screenshot from another platform about someone who used RSD as an excuse to avoid being held accountable in a very ‘2013 tumblr’ way (ie when it was much more common (in my personal microcosm I guess) for people to take that very particular victimized stance whenever someone tried to hold them accountable for literally any minor thing, usually with “cry typing” and citing some reason why it was uncalled for to ‘attack’ them, usually using a mental illness or trauma to try and make whoever confronted them look like the villain by taking on a ‘I’m just soft and helpless and I can’t help it, you’re personally causing me to have a mental breakdown’ approach to conflict. I will clarify. I think the reason why I don’t see this as much anymore is largely due to the fact that a lot of us have grown up and learned how to take criticism, and I don’t see as many new young tumblr users in their early teens as I used to. The site climate has changed since then, but I wouldn’t be able to put my finger on just how exactly.)

...and also in posts about people who say “I can’t help it, it’s my hyperfixation and it’s important to me” when asked about why they still like and avidly post about certain things that aren’t. Great. How do i say Parry Hotter and Tooster Reeth without saying it. Things that have long since been exposed to be rife with bigotry and the continued support of which not only supports the continued creation of harmful content, but also raise the question of how a fan can continue to enjoy it if they themselves don’t share the same beliefs. I do believe “hyperfixation” as a word has been taken and applied so often to so many things that aren’t a hyperfixation, that a lot of people think it just means “I’m a big fan of this thing” and it’s lost the significance it used to have as a term for a more specific experience.

And with both RSD and hyperfixations not being exclusive to, but very commonly considered a part of adhd for many people, the way I see it going is less “ha ha let’s laugh at people who are misusing a word to cover for their immature behavior” and leaning more towards “adhd is a cringe condition to have and you’re going to curve from feeling more comfortable discussing it openly right back around to point A of being ashamed and embarrassed because you don’t want to be made fun of”

Now, is this a concrete trend I’m seeing a lot of? Again, no, because I stay in my own corner and curate my experience well enough that I don’t often come across bad takes about adhd, but it’s more just a general feeling of dread anticipation based on patterns I’ve seen before.

...But. yeah. There’s a line between acknowledging and accepting that someone is mentally ill and knowing that they will have symptoms that are unpleasant or inconvenient but supporting them regardless, and enabling and excusing harmful habits and behaviors that exist as manifestations of that mental illness. I think a lot of people have a really hard time telling when what approach is needed, and, not wanting to risk accidentally encouraging harmful, unhealthy, or ‘embarrassing’ behavior, default to the ‘judge and shame’ mode.

There are a lot of conversations to be had about this. Regarding how people who are mentally ill finding ways to examine and recognize their own behaviors, what is a symptom, and what level of control they have over it and how to manage it in a safe and healthy way, regarding people who /aren’t/ mentally ill learning when it’s right to say ‘i’m sorry you’re experiencing that,’ when to say ‘i’m sorry you’re experiencing that, but it makes me feel x when you say y and i want to discuss how we can work it out for us both,’ and when to say ‘i’m sorry you’re experiencing that, but you need to chill/i don’t have to take this’ without taking the judgmental route that ends up hurting more people in ways you didn’t intend, and regarding the fact that people just /love/ to make fun of anyone who doesn’t act ‘normal’ and when it’s brought up that hey, actually what you’re saying is in fact something a lot of people with x condition do/experience and the way you’re talking about it is very hurtful, people say ‘no i dont mean the people who actually have x, i just meant the other freaks who do x’ and it’s like :/ y’all hear yourselves sometimes?