#also interesting how he soughts out the same kind of comfort he does from her mother with her

[icybreaths]

This is for the "send me anons about my muses family" and my question is, is there anyone else in Jewel's family that feels the kind of chained up restlessness Jewel does? Is there anyone that craves freedom as desperately as her?

|| Anon me Q's about Jewel's family! ||

No, there isn't.

Jewel's father was a traveler and translator. Nathan had a wealth of stories and experiences under his belt, and even though the ship he was on crashed upon the shores of Hokkaido during a storm and wiped out everything of meaning to him, he kept a healthy mindset and set off to start a new life. The sky was the limit in his mind.

Jewel's mother was well known in her village. Friendly. Giving to a fault. Reliable. Heshiu loved being a maternal figure and helping out new mothers if they sought it. Freedom meant giving to her -- her time, labor, and emotional readiness for others.

Fureppo was an angry old woman. Many in the village avoided her due to her fiery temper. She was never the same after losing her husband, and often kept close to her own family and avoided others. She felt chained to her misery and bitterly accepted her fate.

Nathan was all over the place with Jewel. He wanted to teach her how to hunt and set traps, but also wanted her to learn embroidery and how to create beads and pendants with her mother and grandmother, while learning multiple languages. Normally, an Ainu child would've leaned into a role based on gender, but her father -- being a foreigner -- always wanted to push boundaries. Jewel loved his attention and learning from him, but their time together often felt like crossing off a to-do list and Nathan often overloaded her and caused her to throw fits from time to time. He put a lot of pressure on her to be as accomplished as possible as young as possible.

Heshiu was almost never around Jewel one to one. Because she loved to look after and/or adopt other children, her attention was often divided. Jewel had more of her mom's time when she was a baby and toddler, but it dwindled as she aged. When it came to getting her traditional tattoos, Jewel vehemently refused, in part because of the pain, but mostly to spite her mother. She rejected the idea of 'looking attractive to suitors,' and, 'being ready for marriage and a family.' Nathan and Fureppo couldn't convince her either. Deep down, it was because of the growing resentment towards her mother and not wanting to be like her. She made Jewel feel invisible and unwanted in the sense that her mom never made her a priority. It felt like a slap in the face to Jewel to see her mother so present in her community but not with her, in their own home. Jewel's efforts for her attention were nil by adolescence. Jewel came to view Heshiu as a ghost -- a non present presence that shared some of her features, but wasn't there for her (her only biological child). She was abandonment in the flesh; a ghost passing through.

When Jewel wasn't with her dad, she spent the most of her time with grammy Fureppo. Fureppo -- despite her anger and unresolved grief -- found a sense of peace with Jewel. The two of them would organize beads and rocks, brush out fur pelts, and garden together. Jewel became the ever interested ear for grammys' stories ... and her traumas that she would get on tangents about that left Jewel feeling sad, confused, and introspective. These were taboo conversations, as Ainu did not traditionally talk of death, but Jewel was curious and continuously probed her for information. Jewel loved Grammy because Grammy cared about her perspective and what she thought. She treated Jewel like her own person rather than a vessel to impose her desires upon.

Each member of her family was more or less comfortable in their lives, but they brought up an emotionally suffocated girl who was uncertain in her own identity and internally shriveling in her own loneliness. She was raised -- torn between Nathan's expectations, Heshiu's neglect, and even shouldering some of Grammy's emotions. Her mom and dad made her feel like she had to perform for their love, rather than simply being loved for who she was. Grammy filled that hole to an extent, but not without emotional baggage.

Her family served as the foundation for her desire for freedom.

[talkingparrotkee]

What are your personal theories/hcs on Shuri's future interactions with the other avengers?

This is a brainracker, especially since the Avengers rooster has been flipped upside down and switched out with new blood. However, I think I can answer for a few.

▪︎ Princess Shuri and Peter Parker (Spider-Man)

I think this, by far, is the easiest answer to give. I think Shuri and Peter would click the fastest and the most seamless. Their character arcs entirely mirror.

Not only do they start out similar (quippy, mentored science geeks with more light-hearted, slow-to-anger personalities), they are taken down a path of loss, grief, vengeance, and near-consuming anger. Both were protagonists to their own "coming of age" movie.

Pair this up with their admirable brilliance and skill in technological design. Spider-Man also shares similarity to Riri Williams, and we saw how Shuri near immediately clicked with her.

They even get along in the comics, with an almost amusing brotherly-sisterly dynamic. Honestly, Shuri just overall gets along with Spider-men.

There is no doubt in my mind that they'll immediately snap together like magnets. A comfortable relationship where they don't need many words, and when they do speak, they instantly understand the other.

▪︎ Princess Shuri and Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier)

Does Bucky count? If so, I would think their personal interaction would be positive, for the most part. They are already friends and bonded in Wakanda, with her at his side nursing him.

They have an amiable relationship. Yheir end-credit scene indisputably shows that. He was even named, "The White Wolf."

However, I think he will be in the Thunderbolts, a team employed by Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (her favorite colonizer's good for nothing ex-wife), undertaking tasks for the United States Government and CIA.

You know... The same people who sought to destablize Wakanda (Shuri's nation) and take Riri Williams (Shuri's bestie)?

They will very much be on opposite sides. I think Bucky will be immensely torn, maybe Shuri hurt.

▪︎ Princess Shuri and Scott Lang

In the Wakanda Files book, Shuri is quite envious of Lang and Pym's excursions in the Quantum Realm. She states this in her Kimoyo logs.

I feel like she'd definitely pick his brain if given the chance, maybe ask for Hank's digits for discussion. There would be some respect (not only for his groundbreaking advancements, but the way he operates for the love of his family) jealousy, and want for collaboration (something Shuri expresses several times in the files, like with mourning Iron-Man and feeling sad that she cannot do so with him) there.

Shuri also flexes how she, Wakanda, can do things better in both Wakanda Files and virtually all of her appearances. So I can imagine her fixing or improving something of his.

Lang is also kind of goofy, so I'm interested how tha5'll play

▪︎ Princess Shuri and Sam Wilson

Funny enough, the panther siblings don't quite get along with Sam Wilson in the comics. So if they ever take any note from that, they won't be frolicking in a field of flowers hand-in-hand.

While MCU proven time and time again, butting heads on political issues or on the principle of their nationality difference (Shuri is Wakandan, Sam is American. It's been shown that Shuri can have awkwardness or a difference with American characters, from Riri to Ross) seems very much viable. It is foreshadowed that Wakanda will be at war with surface nations, primary ones being France and the United States of America. Sam is now Captain America, that is the mantle he bears.

I don't think it will be too great of a rift, though. I would presume temporary conflict and challenge. He is friends with Bucky, Sam makes an effort for social change (identifying the problems in America himself in Falcon and The Winter Soldier) so I doubt he'd be for the corruption, and they have been on the same side before.

Now I'm not sure if Shuri will become a common, frequent, or permanent member of the Avengers, even if T'Challa was more or less one in the comicbooks (she is not T'Challa and these are not the comics). However, I can expect collaboration. They already collaborated before, and Shuri is the kind of character who can easily be a team player. She enjoys collaboration, is a teacher, leads two programs, and has a slow-to-anger, perceptive personality.

Additionally, she worked with previous Avengers founding members, and Wakanda garnered the development of outreaching to those outside of them who are in misfortune. I would think it'd be optimal and easy for her to work with them, maybe even serve as a temporary member for the time being.

I may add further onto this later (Dr. Strange, She-Hulk, and Shang-Chi). Thanks for the ask!

[fortune-maiden]

Pleeease can I have more of the TGCF Cyrano (but not really Cyrano) AU? 🥺🙏

ANON I LOVE YOU! THIS ASK LITERALLY MADE MY ENTIRE DAY!

And also got some words flowing!

pei ming briefly turned into wombat in the beginning there whoops

-

There were few things in Heaven that could escape Pei Ming’s notice.

No, that was a lie.

There were, in fact, a great many number of things that regularly escaped Pei Ming’s notice. They simply weren’t important things in his opinion. Pei Ming knew the value of information and kept an ear to the ground and the communication array at all times, but he wasn’t interested in petty gossip and the daily lives of heavenly officials.

(Unless those heavenly officials happened to be women, in which case he was very interested, so that he could be at the right place at the right time when they inevitably sought him out.)

Pei Ming was the god of love, so it was only natural that there would be one topic above all others that would warrant his attention.

That’s right – He was here to love and be loved! Embrace love and spread love!

Pei Ming was here to romance women and play matchmaker.

And he was very-temporarily out of women.

“You’re wrong,” Shi Wudu said with a sigh.

“I’m never wrong. Not about this.” Pei Ming’s grin took up most of his face. His arm sat comfortably on Shi Wudu’s shoulder. It wasn’t supposed to be there, but no amount of smacking it with a fan could see it removed.

“I know all about the inquiries you’ve been making into that caged little bird of yours. What can I say except you’re a man with exceptional taste. And quite the reckless streak.”

“Even if I have, that’s my business, not yours.”

“Nonsense. A blossoming crush is very much my business.”

“Again, it’s not a crush. I simply think she’s interesting.”

“Coming from you, that may as well be a proposal.”

Shi Wudu shoved him. The arm around his shoulders remained firmly in place. Pei Ming laughed an uproarious laugh. He always loved the look on people’s faces when they were made aware of their feelings. Particularly when the people in question were his sullen young friend who had been cursed with a handsome face and a rotten personality.

He had been shocked when he first heard of it, of course. But spring came for everyone in the end, and the greater surprise was that Shi Wudu just had to pick the hardest woman in Heaven to get close to as the object of his affections.

Although, really, Pei Ming shouldn’t have expected anything less. Fortunately, he loved a challenge.

“You’ve already made several critical blunders, my friend,” he remarked, turning serious. “It’s never good to start a relationship off with public humiliation.”

“I was not the one humiliating her.”

“But you were the instigator. Thanks to that she knows who you are, but what kind of impression do you think you’ve left her with? If you approached her now, she would head straight in the opposite direction.”

“You sound awfully sure of that.”

“I heard it from the old girl’s mouth herself!” Pei Ming cleared his throat and made his best exhausted gloomy expression. “If my path were to cross Lord Water Master’s now, I think I would turn around and head straight in the opposite direction.”

“She does not sound like that,” Shi Wudu snapped and rapped Pei Ming’s hand with his fan a few times again.

“How would you know? You’ve never talked to her.”

“And you have?”

“Of course! We’re friends from the same hometown!” Well same general region, anyway. Pei Ming’s most famous exploits either had him fighting wars abroad or stationed in Xuli’s royal capital so it was a little known fact he himself was actually from the southern parts of the kingdom and spent most of his non-warring years there. And it was an even littler known fact that the very Nangong Jie made infamous by her writings in the royal capital was also originally from those same southern parts, a fact Pei Ming expertly deduced within an hour of meeting her by virtue of her light regional accent.

(And as for how their paths came to cross in the first place back then, well, she was a woman and he was at the right place at the right time.)

“You’ve made an enemy of her jailer, and she isn’t particularly fond of you right now either. It must be hard being so unpopular.” Pei Ming’s other hand now patted Shi Wudu’s chest consolingly and Shi Wudu grew resigned to the fact that this was what a friendship with Pei Ming entailed.

“If she’s truly so petty, then perhaps I’ve underestimated her.”

“It’s not about pettiness, it’s about an innocent woman becoming the collateral damage of your reckless words and you acting like it doesn’t concern you.” The consoling pats turned into light smacks. “Fortunately, your blunder is also your opportunity. As long as you say and do everything I tell you, we can salvage your reputation with Nangong and get her to see your hidden merits.”

“This is ridiculous.” Shi Wudu shoved Pei Ming once more and this time Pei Ming let go so he would have enough room to cross his arms and scowl. It was important to give him enough space for that so that his mind had the freedom it needed to weigh the pros and cons of Pei Ming’s offer. Shi Wudu was a businessman, after all.

Sure enough, the next words out of his mouth were, “What’s in it for you?”

He eyed Pei Ming like a suspicious cat, ready to flee at the first sign of trouble. Pei Ming laughed once more.

“You’re my friend! What better reason is there for me to help you!” he clapped Shi Wudu’s shoulder good-naturedly, earning another smack for his trouble. “But if you really need one, then it’s that I think you and Nangong really would fit well together. And she could use someone like you in her corner.”

And most importantly, Pei Ming’s smile was so radiant that it shone with a heavenly aura of its own, it will be fun!   

[grislyintentions]

| 4.2 AQ- Commentary |

Note: Spoilers referencing 4.2 AQ as well as voicelines from Neuvillette regarding the other archons

Traveler's actions, doubt and uncertainty regarding Furina: Given our perspective as an external audience, the traveler's reactions and actions taken against Furina can be seen as harsh/cruel etc. However, I don't think it was out of character for them to follow through with it all despite their inherent kindness/reluctance to cause her pain.

Furina's whole purpose was to deceive everyone. And given the fact that she believed she must never have her charade found out, or it spells doom for all of Fontaine, she took every precaution possible to hold onto her facade.

The traveler, whose interactions with Furina were kept deliberately limited, would not be in a position to fully get to know what she's like as a person. They saw only what she wants them to see. It's only natural that they would be led to uncertainty regarding how she really is or how to reach out to her. As referenced in the end, when they got to see what she was about to say, they were still surprised at her actions.

It's important to remember that the Traveler is not all-powerful or all-knowing. And that this entire arc exists as a lesson that what one sees may not always be the truth. Seeking it out requires courage, the conviction to see it through, and an open mind towards other possibilities.

What they all did with their plan was cruel but doing the right thing, doing what one believes is necessary, is not always the easiest choice to make.

Parallels of Furina and Fontainians with Raiden Shogun and Inazumans:

Both Furina and Ei are people who inherited their predecessor's duties and pain. Both of them are people who sought to isolate their inner feelings and turmoil from others. They were both thrust into a position of power regardless of whether they were ready or not. Nobody knew that Ei is not the original electro archon, except for those who perished in the cataclysm and the spirits/youkai of old, and none of her subjects can ever know. Nobody knew that the Furina is trapped in an eternal opera except for her "mirror-me", and none of her subjects can ever know.

So we see interesting parallels between Fontainians turning on Furina and vision holders forming rebellion forces to challenge the Shogun. We cannot blame Neuvillette and the others for forcing Furina to endure a trial when they are doing the exact same thing the rebellion forces in Inazuma were trying to accomplish: To get through to their archon, to MAKE them understand the situation that's hurting the public, to MAKE them hear their voices? When they believed there was no other options left?

In the end, getting through to Ei required forcefully breaking into her plane of Euthymia multiple times in a show of resolve/determination, as well as compassion. In the end, getting through to Furina required forcefully subjecting her to a trial and stripping her of her pretenses but also a willingness to understand her. Parallels between Neuvillette and Ei in the aftermath of disaster:

Neuvillette is left to watch over all of Fontaine's proceedings in the wake of devastation. Similarly, Ei was the one who had to watch over Inazuma after a cataclysmic disaster. Neither of them own the luxury of time to grieve or examine their own feelings in the overwhelming events that came to pass. Life must go on and order must be reinstated. Neither of them really knew how to navigate things with the people they leave behind with an emotional distance (for neuvillette: furina, for ei: yae miko) even if they care for them. How does one bridge that gap?

While the Fontainians do hold Neuvillette in high regard, would they still be able to blindly carry faith in any potential reforms or structure he intends to introduce? Would they, if known, still be able to trust him if they come to find out his efforts to ensure Furina lives comfortably? Will they be able to fully adjust to his approach to things, given their love for theatrics and romanticism of justice? What unrest would emerge from the hidden corners now that Fontaine is newly recovering from things?

Ei was someone who had to deal with rebuilding her nation after all the tragedy. If someone could relate to all that sorrow and the uncertainties, if there is someone who is living proof that a state of normalcy and renewed faith can happen (before the decrees), it is her.

Neuvillette's disposition towards other archons:

With reference to his voicelines about them, I personally think that should there come a time to pass judgement, his decision would be a fair one. That is why he feels it a necessity to meet with them and mentions that it is not a given that his judgment would lead to physical confrontation.

I believe he does not hold contempt for them as individuals. It is their association with Celestia and their allegiance to them that warrants them as deserving of being placed on trial. His desire to meet them, may very well include trying to understand their position and disposition before forming his own decisions. The mere fact that he is more than willing to wait 400 years of more, after learning about Ei's seclusion and Venti's tendencies, his ability to extend compassion to Nahida's plight all emphasise his nature.

Celestia's inactivity/arrogance:

The Heavenly Principles are a set of rules passed down by Celestia to install order in all of Teyvat. Why would they be inactive despite the fact that the "Hydro Throne" is now no more and that power has been restored to Neuvillette?

Presuming that Celestia is an all powerful arbiter of the heavens, all of Teyvat must look like ants to them. Why would any portion of ruin on there be seen as anything else than insignificant and tiny? Why would it matter to an entity that usurped the powers of the dragon sovereigns? That even the archons have to answer to? Why would they pay attention? It is this that makes Focalors' plan so incredibly smart, how they were able to trick them until the very end.

I have been wondering why there are specifically seven gnosis' and seven elements (as of the moment). And why all of the archons are named after demons in demonology. Given the recent information about skirk referring to a gnosis as the remains of descenders: could they have descended from Celestia themselves? Thereby making them not of Teyvat? Do the seven gnosis' function as "seven pillars of God's wisdom" that uphold the will of God (celestia)? Would it take destroying them simultaneously to finally get Celestia's attention and 'bring them down to their level'? Why were gods and goddesses so compelled to participate in the archon wars? What incited it all? There is also the factor that all of the archons we have seen so far do not particularly seem proud or covetous of their own gnosis.

Much is unknown about the Heavenly Principles at this point. But there are some established facts that we do know: - Archons are unable to reveal information about it and there are still certain things they have to ask for permission from Celestia before they can proceed (ie: they are not to step above their station/challenge Celestia's authority) - Messing with the 'natural order' (manipulating life and death via magic or alchemy etc) goes against the principles

[rovingotter]

I feel like in so much of the discourse around Magnifico, and here as well, there's a conflation of two separate issues:

Is Magnifico's system a good political system? Is it reasonable/fair/etc.? Is he justified in keeping the ungranted wishes? Should he have as much power as he does, even if his people agreed to live under his power?

Does he have malicious intent? Is he "evil"?

These aren't really the same thing. You can answer "no" to both questions.

"How many has he just been gradually sucking magic out from in order to fuel his own sorcerous powers?"

This would have been an obvious route for the movie to go in order to make him more conventionally villainous, but the thing is, there is absolutely no indication that this is happening.

Magnifico doesn't appear to gain anything material from keeping the ungranted wishes around. The hoarding is rooted in paranoia, but he also just seems to like having them around, like he finds their presence comforting. He's a hoarder, but it feels more like "old lady in a small apartment who has 20 cats because she can't stop adopting strays despite the health and safety concerns this causes" type of hoarding as opposed to "a calculated amassing of power" type of hoarding.

Another obvious route to make him more villainous would have been "by keeping the wishes he alters people's minds, making them more complacent and therefore more easy to rule, and the people are unaware that this is happening because he doesn't tell them." The movie also chooses not to go this route. Even if people forget their wish, their general agency seems unaffected. They're still able to question him, ask for things, and make decisions in their own interests. Even Simon, despite his increased lethargy, seems capable of doing this (to the point where he betrays Asha to get his wish back). Magnifico has something of theirs, but it's not mind-control in any real, meaningful sense of the word.

You could say that just having the wishes still gives him control in the sense that he's stringing people along with the hope that he's going to grant their wish, which is true. But there's also the fact that everyone in Rosas agreed to live under this system and did so with full knowledge of what it meant. It's a relatively new society; most of the people there settled there sought it out because they'd heard it was a great place to live, and then they're given the grand tour where they're told how everything works, and none of it is a lie. They're aware that they have to give him their wish as a precondition for living there, that they forget about it, and that whether or not it ever gets granted is left exclusively under the king's discretion. It's authoritarianism, but of a style that the citizens have all decided they want. It's kind of weird, actually, how the movie seems to go out of its way to stack the deck in its ostensible villain's favor by emphasizing how informed and enthusiastic the citizens' consent is, and also by completely glossing over what happens if someone who's born in Rosas isn't willing to give up their wish. The movie gives the impression that everyone except Asha (and maybe Simon) is onboard with this system and pretty content with it and then really does nothing to contradict this. Even Saba says he doesn't want to know what his wish is. And then Asha just kind of takes it upon herself to say, "No, this status quo is not good for you. I've decided that what you all need is more agency. Open wide. You're getting agency whether you want it or not."

And the movie never really engages with the messiness and contradiction of all this. They introduce a lot of genuinely interesting themes about the nature of freedom, of desire, agency, and the cycle of trauma. And then it all gets dealt with so half-assedly.

Like, if they didn't want it so gray, another obvious route to go (which has been brought up by more than one person) would've been "Asha decides not to give her wish on her eighteenth birthday, and then quickly finds out that it's not as optional as it appears because the king's knights try to abduct her and take her wish by force (or whatever) and then threaten to hurt her family if she tells anyone." That would have been villainous! Like this movie had tons of options they could have gone with to make Magnifico more devious, more of a manipulative and ruthless schemer in the vein of Scar or Ursula, but it fails to take any of these routes. Instead they go with the whole evil book thing so all his worst actions are committed in an altered mental state.

I've talked at length about that in other posts and this is already long; my point is that the writers of the movie just failed at their task of making a "classic" villain. Some Wish rewrites lean in the direction of making him more of a straight-up baddie, others have leaned into the "sympathetic antagonist with psychological issues" angle, but there seems to be pretty widespread agreement that he doesn't come across as a Jack Horner type so much as a flawed, misguided man, one who accomplished something genuinely impressive in building a kingdom that people wanted to live in because in spite of everything it was a pretty nice place (better than much of the world, I'd say) but the first time he came up against genuine opposition, he was overwhelmed by his personal demons.

This is not to say that there weren't flaws in Rosas from the beginning; any isolated society which is built around a single charismatic figure is bound to turn somewhat cultlike, which comes with risks even when the community is relatively benevolent.

I feel like I'm going in circles at this point so I'll rein myself in now, but I also wanted to address this:

"This was more than likely the intention of the design team; having a villain wear white will subconsciously convince your audience that he’s not utterly and entirely evil. That, and also he’s hot. No wonder everyone’s giving him the benefit of the doubt."

White has been a "villain" color for a while. Dragonheart is an old movie and the villain wears white, the protagonist wears black. It probably wouldn't be hard to find other examples. White is associated with purity but also with coldness and sterility, making it an obvious choice for villains (or neutral characters) who represent order or control. The bright colors that Asha and co. wear are meant to feel warm and friendly by comparison.

He is also a dilf, there's no denying that, and I'm sure there are fans who like him just because he's hot, but there is a lot more going on here.

Wish and King Magnifico?

Ever since the trailer dropped, I’ve been seeing more and more people coming to King Magnifico’s defense about his wish granting, and it’s honestly really weird to me given that he is a literal villain. Like the do-an-evil-laugh-in-the-dark-while-casting-a-forbidden-green-spell kind of villain.

Like I’m fully aware that not every wish needs to come true, and that the world would descend into chaos if everyone got what they wanted, BUT Asha just doesn’t seem the type to be selfish in wishing. I feel like she’ll learn early on that Star’s wish magic has limits

This was more than likely the intention of the design team; having a villain wear white will subconsciously convince your audience that he’s not utterly and entirely evil. That, and also he’s hot. No wonder everyone’s giving him the benefit of the doubt.

I just wish that they alluded to more of the plot in the trailer. They should’ve shown the part that tells us that the wishes are erased from the wisher’s mind if they are not granted immediately and instead sent to the tower; it seems rather cruel to keep a piece of one’s memory away from them. Asha’s grandfather’s 100th birthday is also a subplot of the movie, and she learns that one of his wishes has long since been neglected in the palace walls. The knowledge of these two things act as the catalyst in her confrontation of King Magnifico. She more than likely wants the people of Rosas to just live freely with the memories of their wishes, instead of keeping them in a tower.

[askmerriauthor]

In reference to this post here.

That's actually a rather interesting way to look at it, especially given how much direct interaction the two characters have throughout the game. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if Geeta sought to put Nemona into the Elite Four at some future point, especially if Hassel ended up bouncing for whatever reason. More discussion after the jump in case of spoilers.

Looking at Geeta with that parallel in mind also gives an angle on how she picks people for their responsibilities. When the Player first meets Nemona, the first thing she does when she realizes they're a capable Trainer is shower them with encouragement to become a peer/rival to her. It's this immediate reaction of "Oh my gosh, you've got skill! New friend? Please? Have some Pokeballs, have some Potions, here - I got you a fancy Tera Orb you're not really supposed to have but I pulled some strings for you!". She similarly challenges other people she sees as talented to battles, but the Player is the only one she goes all in for - particularly since the narrative sets it that we're the only one who actually fully reciprocates her feelings.

Geeta may be a similar case when it comes to how she places the Elite Four and Gym Leaders. Given her fixation on talent, she probably saw these capable Trainers (or at least their potential) and went "Oh my gosh, you've got skill! New Gym Leader? Please? Have some Pokemon, have a Tera Orb!" in the same kind of manner. Larry mentions that she "strong-armed" all the Gym Leaders and Elite Four into their positions - I don't take that as she literally forced them into the roles, but that she convinced them to take on the title despite them already having existing careers by focusing on the potential they had. Hassel was already from a prestigious family of Dragon Trainers before he became a teacher, and was likely picked up to be an Elite Four member after Geeta joined the Academy board. Iono, Tulip, and Brassius were already famous in their given careers before becoming Gym Leaders, so Geeta likely focused on convincing them specifically for the boost to reputation and attention it would bring Paldea. Larry already worked for the Pokemon League as some sort of office employee and was literally assigned to the role of Gym Leader and Elite Four member by Geeta. Geeta's priority is to inspire Trainers, foster talent, and bring Paldea greater prestige, but that isn't any of the Gym Leaders' core motivation, which leads to conflict amongst them. Geeta sees talent and potential first, but sidelines feelings as a result, like how Nemona later apologizes to the Player for being so overwhelming with her own enthusiasm pushing them to take on the Gym Challenge.

Characters like Larry and Grusha are interesting in this regard, as they're the sort who voice the most criticisms of Geeta yet could be the ones Geeta herself is being the most benevolent toward. After their rematches, both mention that they've found a new inspiration from battling the Player that they wouldn't have if they'd battled Geeta, whom they see as meddling-as-usual. Both of them are prior stuck in a rut; Larry by his own choice in preferring to stay in his lane, keep his head down, and grind away his life as an everyman. He learns to appreciate changing things up and getting out of his comfort zone because Geeta makes him use a different team in the Elite Four. Grusha lost his career as an athlete due to an unexpected injury, which likewise cost him his passion, motivation, and made him resent the cold. He was just stagnating where he was because he felt he lacked any other options. Contending with the Player lights a fire under Grusha's butt and reignites his drive to improve himself.

Katy and Kofu are tougher for me to put my finger on, admittedly. Kofu doesn't seem too involved in anything besides his restaurant, though the fact that he helped train Katy in culinary arts feels relevant. There's some history there that needs exploring. Katy, meanwhile, feels like she knows Geeta more personally compared to the others based on how she talks about their interactions. That's just a feeling I get, mind you, so I could be off the mark. I'm curious to see if we get some more information about the Gym Leaders and their involvement with Geeta in the DLC.

Honestly, the biggest issue I see in all this is the fact that Geeta herself isn't a very impressive Trainer by which to inspire others. It's an informed ability - everyone talks about how amazing she is, she talks herself up as being an overwhelming opponent in Pokemon Battles who can't possibly hold back her might, and her title is "Top Champion". That infers she's either the most powerful Champion of Paldean Champions, or that she's considered the most powerful Champion of all Pokemon League Champions. All of which are demonstrably not true in the slightest since her team is poorly designed and her fight is a total cakewalk. Past games' Champions have been far greater challenges than her, and even post-game Arven (who the game says isn't a very good Trainer) is tougher to fight than she is. I could understand it if it was an intentional design choice where she's self-sabotaging or intentionally taking it easy on the Player using a League-official team like she assigned Larry, only to have a "those were for charity, Clark" moment later on where she absolutely mollywhops the Player in a rematch scenario with her own personal team of aces. But, barring a reveal in the DLC, that doesn't seem to be the case so far.

[vergess]

I mean, I took it to mean that Lucy wishes it would be legal to marry multiple men, but since it isn't, she has to conform with marrying just the one dude she loves the most?

Alright I'm gonna be a snotty little bitch about this (hopefully in a fun and cool way), because I think a lot of people are also reading it that way. Which!!!!!! is a valid and perfectly serviceable interpretation!!!!!!

Just one that I fundamentally cannot agree with.

Like, first off, when she's rejecting Seward and Quincey, she's really specific about the fact that she doesn't love them, she loves "someone else" (Arthur). You can, of course, read this as her merely adhering to the norms of her station and trying to be a Respectable Well-Bred Young Woman, but I don't. I've seen little indication that Lucy is the kind of person to lie for the sake of others, rather than to tell a very limited kind of truth to make herself comfortable for them.

This is a behaviour that you can see in her interactions with Mina as well, with the way she talks about only the things she has in common with her bestie, and not so much interests we implicitly know she has outside Mina, such as whatever is going on with Arthur.

So, for example, in this passage:

Then he broke off and asked if I could love him in time; and when I shook my head his hands trembled, and then with some hesitation he asked me if I cared already for any one else. He put it very nicely, saying that he did not want to wring my confidence from me, but only to know, because if a woman's heart was free a man might have hope. And then, Mina, I felt a sort of duty to tell him that there was some one.

(Emphasis mine)

It seems pretty clear that Lucy wishes she could feel romantic attachment to Seward, but ultimately she can't because that limited spot she has for romantic attachment is already filled.

Her rejection of Quincey follows a similar pattern: "'Yes, there is some one I love, though he has not told me yet that he even loves me.'"

Which leaves me reading the Big Line of "Why can't they let a girl marry three men, or as many as want her, and save all this trouble?" not as "I feel romantic attachment to all three of these men but cannot pursue it," but instead as, "oh, why can't I make myself feel such attachment? Why cannot society have trained me for that instead? It would be so much kinder..."

And, I think that's the part that sticks out to me the most.

The desire to be kind, which is a recurring throughline in her letters, and this one especially.

Something about the way people are pushing the "Lucy actually loves all three of her suitors" thing undercuts that to me. She doesn't seem to love them romantically, but she does clearly and desperately want to make them feel better, to be kind to them and bring them comfort, especially for something she clearly perceives as being "her fault," given how she also refers to herself very derogatorily as being ~like a horrid flirt~ and ~not nearly as fair to [them] as [they] were fair to [her]~.

To me, that line reads as her very openly wishing she could love all three, but can't. So, seeing so many people very gung-ho about how she's Totally A Polyamorous Queen is... bewildering to me.

I mean even as a polyamorous person myself, there have been far more people I've wished I could love but cannot, and thus had to reject as delicately as possible, than there have been people I was genuinely attracted to and sought to pursue in the same way they pursued me.

And I think that's, maybe, here my stumbling block really lies. I've rejected people because I'm just not that into them, and I've rejected people because I wanted them but felt I couldn't be with them, and Lucy's description of her rejections feels so much more the former than then latter, IDK.

[lightlycareless]

First, it hurts— [side story]: Hinata takes Satoru horse riding.

Depictions of brief sucession mentioned on the main story, First, it hurts—, a Naoya Zen'in x Reader fic, which you can find here! (totally recommend reading that first :>)

Summary: When Naoaki, Naoya's oldest brother, takes Y/N to feed the horses his family owns, they share fun stories and experiences relating to the equestrian activity. Y/N briefly mentions the time Satoru was screaming his heart out when Hinata, her sister, took him out for a ride. She recalls it as a somewhat funny story, but doesn't go any further than that— this is that story.

Chapter warnings: none :> except that Satoru is super annoying.

A/N: Been wanting to write this side story for a while, and finally, it's here! I've been through somewhat allot these past few weeks, but i'm slowly getting through it. I have more stories to write before I set a date on updating the main storyline, but rest assured, I'm working on it :>

Also, this idea ended up being very different from what I initially wanted (shorter, if you must haha) but I still liked how it ended nonetheless! I hope it's to your enjoyment! I really did like writing Hinata in a... different light 😏

As always, reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated ❤❤ Happy reading!

Ao3 link.

"That sounds interesting, but ” You sigh, plunging your back towards the wall and relaxing into the feathered comfort of your pillow "I don’t feel like going, so I’ll stay here instead"

"Aw, come on Y/N!!" Hinata beseeched, attacking you with the combination of pouty lips and puppy eyes for dramatic effect "It's going to be fun!"

"I don’t doubt that" you reiterate, eyes falling down onto your pink  Gameboy, the same one you couldn't stop from customizing as soon as you found someone that did such work—showing how unaffected you were by her adorable manipulation. “But I’d rather do this instead” you then nudge towards your newest distraction, waving before her a brand new copy of the game of the season: Pokémon Emerald.

It was the first time you’d be able to play after days and days of waiting to get your hands on it—an expected occurrence for the preceding games were an absolute success, meaning that it was bound to sell out as soon as it hit store shelves—and you weren’t about to waste the opportunity of playing it on your first free day of summer!

A date that would’ve arrived earlier… had the reason for your struggling not been your father.

Eiichi was the kind of father that was very supportive of his children’s lifestyle, even if he didn’t understand most of it personally.

However, his encouragement shifted when he came across an unfavorable article about the growing otaku community, one that painted them as weirdos with no bright future and were “effectively” heading towards souring the population. 

A tabloid with no intention of actually understanding them, or objectively stating that there’s always a radical end to these groups and that not all of them were like that.

But given his worrisome nature towards his children, especially you, his youngest… well, let’s say that he didn’t need to read more to grow weary of your involvement with those kind of people and the danger they could entail to your persona, thus, under the pretense of your hobby becoming too distracting of your studies, he prohibited you from joining the wait line of your favorite video game store, leaving you stranded in the island of seclusion as the world basked in the newest, marvelous installment of your favorite franchise.

But where there is a will, there is a way, and it wouldn’t take long before you’d find yourself discreetly texting a close friend of yours and asking them to get you a copy of this highly sought-for game in exchange for monetary compensation plus an extra for the inconvenience.

Days later, the unsealed cartridge is in your hands.

“Why are you always so against going to the stable anyways?” Hinata ponders, as she always does whenever you reject her invitations, hoping to finally catch an explanation, for in her mind, there is no way you can’t like such a fun activity. “Is it the smell?"

"No, not really” You didn’t mean for the following statement to be a brag, but you think you’ve had worse. Curses can be quite… intolerable in the odor department.

"Then what is it?" Hinata shoots another question "You don’t even have to ride the horses if you don’t want to, just be there, yeah? Although I would really like it if you did…"

"It's because of that, that I don't like going" You sigh, laying the Gameboy down to your lap before looking up to her "I wouldn’t mind accompanying you, but I know it’s inevitable that you’d ask me to ride one. And let’s say I agree to do so, I always feel like I'm going to fall, no matter how hard I try to hold on to the horse! At the end of the day, if I’m not going to be riding… what’s the purpose of me being there?"

"It's all about the stance, the legs!" Hinata interjects, hoping to ease your worry and convince you to give it a try "You just gotta connect with the horse, you know? And it’ll only be a matter of seconds before you feel the wind!"

"That literally—I feel like I’m back at square one" You chuckle, amused by Hinata’s tendency to ramble when she’s talking about things that excite her… and how she doesn’t make any sense when doing so. Nonetheless, you’re grateful for her attempt to cheer you up, however, you delegate this matter as one of those things that only those who experienced them can understand. "Well, whatever that means... thank you, but I won't be going"

"Not even if I tell you that horse-riding amateur Gojo Satoru will be... joining us?"

You perk up your ears.

"...Satoru?" you repeat, steadily, but slowly. A gotcha smile appears on Hinata's lips.

"The one and only. I invited him over a few days ago, which ended up aligning with some political matters that he has to tend here. He’s going to stay a few days so I thought, why not show him the stable?” She explains "I'm still surprised the Gojo's don't have any horses on their property, but they do have that huge temple instead…” Hinata sighs in disappointment—mourning the missed opportunity to gallop through the impressive meadow they had under their ownership.

"Not everyone is as obsessed as you are with animals, sis" You smirk and she shoots you a sharp glance.

"I'm not obsessed, just passionate” She defends her devotion "Anyways, now that you know he's coming over, do you still want to sit this one out?"

You look down to your lap and begin to analyze her invitation.

Spending the rest of your day locked in your room to play your long awaited game is what you’d call an ideal start for your summer vacation.

However… Now that your sister approached you with the possibility of seeing the narcissistic Gojo make a fool of himself (yet again) via an activity that’s known to be of his dislike… Now that’s something that you can’t miss.

Thus, without pondering much on the pros and cons of her offer, you concede. You take the pink device from your lap and place it on the small wooden nightstand beside your bed, followed by standing up to reveal your decision.

“I’ll go then” you say, stretching your arms and legs as far as physically possible and releasing a groan of satisfaction whilst doing so “How did you get him to agree?”

“Oh, he doesn’t know” Hinata nonchalantly confides and you freeze. “Which makes it all the better, he won’t see it coming”

“What?” you blink, frowning “What do you mean he doesn’t know?”

“Let’s say it’s a surprise”

“Seems more of a the thing you’d be into, not the other way around”

“Ooh, let’s just say I wanted to try something different for a change. We always go out to do a thousand things, and while I do like spending time out in the city, why not spend it inside the estate? We have all kinds of entertainment here too! And think about it, we’d be saving money, as well as supporting the local businesses”

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think your sister was trying to hide an ulterior motive behind the sunny notion of supporting one of the many villages under your family’s protection…

“Anyways, we should get going. Sumire told me that Satoru arrived a few hours ago, so he might be already done with the meeting by now” Hinata makes way towards the door and slides it open, looking back to gesture at you to step out first. You walk through the frame and wait for your sister to follow behind.

Once outside and with the door closed shut, you and Hinata start heading towards the east wing of the estate, passing by various staff members and greeting them, and onto the location of the meeting hall, where conferences tend to always take place—the public ones, at least.

“Why aren’t you there, by the way?” you curiously inquired. If Satoru’s visit were for political reasons, wouldn’t it make sense that all the authoritative figures in the family be present? Such as the heir of the L/N clan, your sister ?

Ah, if only it were that easy.

"I dunno, misogyny?” Hinata shrugs “Dad told me I wouldn't be needed today, and in the same breath, he asked me to not seek an explanation from the elders because I tend to get a bit… angry with them— but it’s not my fault they give me the dumbest excuses to kick me out of meetings, if they were a bit more creative with them then I wouldn’t be that way”

"You should stop terrorizing dad, Hinata" you banter "You know he can’t help but worry for you… however, aggressive negotiations have always been your specialty—guess he should know that by now"

"That sounds too… violent. I would rather call it a diplomatic solution" the two chuckle "But that doesn't matter, I'll get to them later, for now, let's get ready for our horse riding adventure"

"About that… If you don’t mind me asking, why horse riding? Why not something else? You know Satoru doesn't really like it,  and I personally would rather do something else where I can be involved”

Hinata goes quiet, and then, she stops. Her eyes emotionlessly set on the floor as she seemingly plunges into the labyrinth of her thoughts. An eerie visage, more so when seconds continue to pass and she doesn’t respond to your question.

You’re about to repeat your inquiry, wan ting to believe that either Hinata didn’t listen to your question, or she was suddenly jolted with the remembrance of a forgotten task (anything to remove that bizarre image of your emotionless sister) but before you’re able to enunciate the first letters of your question, she suddenly glances back at you and gives you an innocent, totally-not-suspicious smile.

"Oh, for no reason. I just thought it would be nice if he did something that I liked with me once in a while, since we always end up doing what he wants, or what Suguru wants. Or Shoko… And I don't really feel like going out today, so… why not?"

“I… guess” You frown, hesitantly accepting her… seemingly fabricated response.

The way your sister can act as if she hadn’t been staring off into nothing like a complete madwoman baffles you, to say the least. It’s so different from the straightforward sister and sorcerer you knew—the one that was assertive with her actions: if anyone had an issue with her, they could deal with her directly.

There’s no doubt now in your mind that she’s hiding something… but what ? And what relationship did that have with Satoru?

It’s no secret between the three siblings that Gojo never liked horse riding. Or any outdoor activity for that matter.

Just like you, his hobbies are inclined more into the world of videogames—him being one of the main instigators of you liking them in the first place.

However, that wasn’t the only reason he disliked partaking in equestrian activities. His distaste for anything that represented an affluent life spread to it as well.

Riding horses was rich people shit, Satoru would say from time to time, and because his hatred for those at the top was immeasurable, it would be unthinkable that he would attempt to duplicate their lifestyle.

It was a wonder how he and Hinata never argued for that reason—although you can guess that the emotional significance of this activity towards your family was what kept him at bay, and eventually, removed him from being invited to partake in this hobby.

«But… that doesn’t clear why she invited me to go in the first place.»

Whatever it was that your sister had planned, whether innocent or not, it had become apparent that she wanted some kind of witness. And you were to play that role.

A witness to something to be revealed yet, an uncontrollable itch in the back of your mind that you didn’t seem to be able to pull away from. Even if you tried to focus on anything else. 

Knowing well that asking her again will bring no new information to the case you’re building, you relegate yourself to quietly follow her into the original destination, hoping that time will reveal whatever she’s brewing.

Completely ignoring the glint of mischief in her eyes, for the highly anticipated punishment towards the heir of the Gojo clan is about to take place in a matter of minutes.

"Hey, Satoru!" You’re the first one to chip in as soon as the familiar batch of white hair becomes apparent in the distance. Because of this peculiar description, finding him in crowds was always an easy feat—who else would have white hair, if it wasn’t an elderly person or Satoru himself?

Upon hearing his name being called by the recognizable tune of his future sister-in–law, Satoru’s head turns.

When you and your sister expected him to replicate the same kind of greeting you gave him upon setting eyes on them, which was by energetically waving your arm, he decided to surprised the two by racing towards your direction, and with less than necessary time to react, he swiftly raises you into his arms and begins to twirl you on the spot—a gesture that immediately has you regretting making the first contact.

“Hiii Y/N-chaaaan!!” He’d shamelessly attempt to greet whilst tormenting you, as if you were able to say anything else than groans and pleads for him to stop, for you were getting dizzier by the second and you really weren’t looking forward to alleviating yourself on him.

Satoru would eventually let you down, but the damage was already done—the world was spinning around you, and you wanted it to stop by stretching your arms towards your sister and leaning on her to regain your balance.

You’d begin to feel better, unfortunately, your reaction was not enough to quench Satoru’s insatiable appetite for trouble, and would soon attempt to do the same towards your sister.

But always the one to abstain from his childish antics, Hinata manages to avoid his clutches by swift movements that remind you of her talent as a sorcerer.

“Nope” she says, moving to the right.

“Just one—”

“Nu-uh” Hinata reiterates, now moving to the left “Not a chance”

“Not even for your future husband?”

Hinata scoffs and her frown deepens.

“ No”

And with that, Gojo reluctantly accepts defeat. Hinata’s willful nature once more proves too much for him to handle. Well, it’s not like he didn’t know she was that way—besides, it’s his duty as her future husband to cherish her just the way she is, isn’t it? 

Satoru was lucky Hinata wasn’t a mind reader, for she’d smack him for saying such convenient things when it's for his defense.

“Well, now that’s done… How have you two been? It’s been a while since I saw you, Y/N” Satoru, to everyone's surprise, decides to act like a decent human being and ask a courteous question towards the sisters.

“Good, boring” you respond with a shrug ” You know how life can be at the estate”

“More when you’re playing terrible games such as Pokémon Emerald” Gojo smirks, and there it is—the moment he was waiting for to strike. You feel silly for believing that Satoru could be anywhere near modest.

“Oh, Suguru told you, didn’t he?” you frown, moving on to realize there was only one way he would know of your newest acquisition… a betrayal of confidence from someone you’d never expect it.

“I ought to let you know that I was the one that bought the game, little sister” He arrogantly reveals and your mouth falls agape “If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be playing that now”

“I told Suguru to keep it a secret from you!” You shrilled. “I knew you were going to make fun of me if you got to know about it!”

“He did, it’s just that he was having trouble finding it, so I jumped in to help” he explains “Don’t be too harsh on him”

“Aghh, does that mean I owe you a favor now?” you wince in disgust now that you discarded your disappointment for Suguru—it seems he didn’t openly go against your wishes, he only wanted to help you obtain what you wanted. It’s sad that he had to get obnoxious Satoru involved, but if there really was no other way…

It’s the intention that matters in the end.

“If you simply accept that Digimon’s greatness into your heart, I shall consider your debt forgiven”

“Oh my god, just because you like Digimon it doesn’t mean you have to brag about it—nor does it make Pokémon any less good!”

“You’re right. Digimon’s importance is something that needs to go unspoken for, thank you for reminding me” Satoru smirks, and you’re left dumbfounded by the talent he had for twisting your words and curving the environment to his benefit; something worthy of admiration if you must.

And now that you think about it… Very similar to your sister.

From as long as you can remember, Satoru always liked to think of himself as vastly different from her.  Far more down to earth, likable, less of a teacher’s pet. And Hinata would believe the same, with the exception of the teacher's pet part, although it ended up being kind of similar, since the elders and other adults alike often doted on Satoru, whether for his prestige or good looks.

However, both fail to realize that they can be as persistent and annoying as one another, at least from your experience. Satoru with you accepting Digimon as the superior franchise, and your sister with horse riding.

«Guess they really are what people call a match made in heaven… or however the saying goes» you conclude as you look back to your sister, who couldn’t look any less amused by Satoru’s repetitive sermon «Hinata would hate me if I ever tell her that»

You smile. Even if they’re annoying as hell from time to time, you couldn’t imagine a life without them.

“Welp, we’re not here to talk about videogames, we’re here to do something far more interesting” Your sister says, clasping her hands together and the noise is enough to draw your and Satoru’s attention back to her.

She looked excited, eager, however, there was something behind the recognizable enthusiasm in her eyes—more than looking forward to spending time with her equestrian friends, she was waiting for what came afterwards, like dessert after a meal.

What could’ve irked your sister so much, to the point of wanting to plot something against Satoru?

A question that does nothing to narrow down the possibilities, when it comes to Satoru of course.

After all, it’s… him that you’re talking about. With him in the equation, it could be anything really. However, considering that it was only Satoru that got invited, and not Geto or Shoko , means that he was the only one involved.

Yet again, doing nothing to pinpoint a possible cause. Well, whatever it was that has your sister bothered, she kept it a well-guarded secret.

“What are we going to do?” Satoru queries, oblivious as you expected him to be. “Are we going to the movies? Shopping? Perhaps some fine dining on this wonderful day? I didn’t bring any fancy clothes” He begins to trail off.

“Nope” She shakes her head, a grin parting her lips. “Something far much better, something that the two of you have been pushing to the side for far too long—but not anymore”

“Oh no, I know that face” Satoru’s voice shivers “Don’t tell me… you���re planning on taking us—”

“Horse riding? Yeah” Hinata announces as she presses her eyebrows together. Sure, she might’ve been somewhat accurate with her hints but she didn’t expect Satoru to catch on to it quickly. The thought of Satoru dangerously approaching the uncovering of her intentions is enough to have her anxiety creeping through her spine, a sensation that she compares to being pushed down to a lake of ice cold water. “You guessed pretty quickly”

“I mean, you’re not a very interesting person, Hina-chan. You kind of only have like, 1 trick. Do you even like anything else?”

Hinata lets out a long sigh of relief, proceeding by rolling her eyes. Seems like her concerns were for naught, and they soon fall to into irrelevancy once she realizes that Satoru was only being his usual rude self. «At least my cover is still safe» she attempts to console herself «I must be careful with my words from now onwards»

“Yeah, whatever” Hinata dismisses him and Satoru chuckles “Anyways, just follow me into the stable, I’ll give you all the details once there”

And by the way Satoru obediently follows him, without questioning her anymore or shooting her one of his traditional jabs, it’s evident that he wholeheartedly trusts Hinata with his safety, and thus, the idea that she might be planning his demise seems nothing more than a fallacious possibility.

That, of course, is not even close to the truth.

“A quick and easy stroll, something to stretch the horse’s legs, nothing more, nothing less” Hinata says as the group arrives at the outer section of the estate, just past the north wing and into the familiar wooden door that guards the storage room—the place where all safety gear for today’s activity was to be found. 

Hinata might be planning something mysterious, but that doesn’t mean she’ll do it precariously.

“Are you planning on taking Ume?” You ask, carefully observing your sister as she slides the storage door open, stepping aside to let you and Satoru in first, before going in herself and closing the door behind. 

The first thing that you notice upon stepping inside is that the room had remained virtually the same since the last time you were here, and that had been years .

If anything, the more noticeable aspects would have to be the curtains of a different color, as well as the new location of the same wooden table that’s always been there, and the addition of a picture frame, carrying the portrait of your mother alongside her favorite horse, Ume . You smile at the picture before focusing back onto your conversation with Hinata “She’s… quite old”

“I was hoping you’d help me with that” Hinata smiles upon noticing your glance on your mother’s picture—she’s the one that placed it there upon noticing there was nothing of her there, considering that she was the one that actively spent most of her time tending the stable. Although she suspects this was her father’s doing, still mourning her absence. “I just need you to take her on a stroll, she might be old but she still needs to move from time to time”

“I thought that was what we’re going to do anyways?” Satoru interjects.

“ Without a rider” Hinata scorns “You’d know if you focused on anything else than just being annoying”

“How old is Ume by the way?” You step in, hoping to put a stop on this senseless bickering before it grows too big to control. They weren’t even married yet and they’re already acting like an old couple. Oh, what their future awaits…

“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe like… 17-18 years old? She’s around Ren’s age so… no, a bit older, since she was only a pony when mom received her”

“Oh, really?” you reflect on her age—had Ume really been around for that long?

“Yeah, remember what mom said? Dad got Ume for her as some kind of wedding gift, and Ren was born roughly a year after”

“Hmm, guess the math does add up” you acknowledged “Looks like Ume has been with us for far longer than I can remember”

“That’s why we have to take good care of her! She’s like a part of the family now” Hinata cheers “You’ll  help me, right?”

“I… guess” you murmur, crossing your arms “I don’t… know if she’d want me though, she always looks far more comfortable with you”

“That’s because you always run away from the stables, if you’d spent more time with me, then you wouldn’t feel that way”

“I won’t do more than accompany you from time to time to feed her, if that’s what it takes for her to like me”

“Ah! That’s it!” Hinata sings as enlightenment dawns in her mind ”Maybe next time you can feed her!” 

“Nope” You frivolously shake your head “What if I get my hand bitten off?”

“Gah! What is an old horse like her going to do?” Hinata replies skeptically, as if the mere question brought great offense to her “I wouldn’t ask you to do something if I thought you’d be in danger”

And with that comment, you can’t help but feel a bit guilty for the way you responded. At the end of the day, her invitations always came from a place of wanting to spend her free time with you, as little as it may be, doing what she likes before diving back into work.

From a news perspective, you conclude that you’ve secluded yourself a bit sternly from her.

“Alright” With a new purpose, you confidently walk over to the closet you rightfully assume most of the gear to be and unlock the doors, eyes scanning through the carefully organized entourage of protective gear  “Do I even have things for myself anymore?”

“I don’t think so” Hinata guessed as she too heads over to the closet and glances over your shoulder “It’s been quite a while since you’ve been on the actual saddle, so maybe you’ve already outgrown whatever you had? Well, you’re not going to use them today since you’re only going to walk Ume—Satoru, on the other hand, needs at least helmet”

“Oooh, is there a special helmet just for me?” Satoru chides in, his towering height skips him the need to lean over your or your sister’s shoulder by looking over your heads instead.

“ No . Although I probably should’ve with that big head of yours…” she snickers as she reaches for the nearest helmet. A black colored one of a matte material with light scratches on the top, revealing heavy usage.

If this wasn’t enough to dictate that the helmet was hers, the peculiar sticker of a sunflower on the left side would.

“This is mine—hold it for me?” she says, handing it over to you as she reaches for the next one, this time, with less signs of wear, barely visible unless inspected with a magnifying glass, almost as if it was taken straight out of the box, but with another noticeable sticker on the left side: a lotus . “And you’ll wear this one”

“Oh, is this Ren’s?” Satoru asks upon noticing the flower “It looks quite big, are you sure he doesn’t have a bigger head?”

“ Ha!” Hinata chortled “The nerve to say that, when it’s impossible to ignore that nest of birds you have on your head”

“Hey! My hair is well groomed, must you know” he attests “It’s quite popular with the girls”

“You have no game, Satoru. I’ve seen it. You’re lucky I’m forced to marry you”

“See? It worked”

“You two already bicker like a married couple” you murmur under your breath. What you thought to be a comment for yourself ended up being heard by the couple before you, making Hinata's face twist into one of surprise and embarrassment whilst Satoru’s beams into one of a cheerful grin.

“We do not!” she cries back, face now ruby red “How can you side with Satoru, Y/N?! My own sister!”

“Hey, hey! I’m not siding with anyone!” You laugh nervously. 

“Oh, you wounded me, Y/N-chan! How am I to overcome this painful betrayal, how am I to move forward with my life, knowing that my cute sister-in-law rejects my relationship with her own sister? A place in her family? What will the Gojo’s say once they learn that the L/N don’t want me anym—"

«Oh, god» It’s now your turn to feel the embarrassment «They’re both so dramatic!» 

“Anyways” You cough, setting a distraction to distance yourself from this act “Is there anything else that we need to get?”

Hinata snaps out of her trance and plunges back into recollecting the rest of the stuff, zeroing on getting everything ready to continue on with her plan, almost as if she were trying to avoid the fact that she’d blushed because of Satoru…

Either way, it’s no use to dwell on what’s basically assumptions, and once everything was set, the trio make their way out of the storage room and onto the far side of the room that once opened, revealed a breathtaking landscape of a warm summer day; an ocean of green leaves and fragrant grass, all underneath a cloudless sky.

And in the distance, the presence of a small wooden barn can be seen, which is possible to be reached thanks to the connecting stone path.

It’s been so long since you’ve seen this part of the estate that you can’t help but be captivated by its natural beauty—a scenery so astonishing, you’d almost find it pitiful that it would be the stage for Hinata’s hidden motives.

Moving forward, the group follows down the designated road and onto the stable, where Hinata decides it appropriate to begin gearing up..

“Y/N had a helmet, right?” Satoru asks as he places the helmet on his head, immediately feeling that it needed adjustments—something that he took as your brother having a much bigger head, a petty remark that remained in his mind as to bring it up later and torment your sister with it. “If so, what sticker does she have?”

“I did, but I never placed a sticker on it” you respond, helping him adjust the straps on his helmet.

“We had different colored ones back in the day” Hinata explains “Mine was yellow”

“And mine was [favorite color]” you add.

“It’s easier to find more… attractive helmets when you’re gearing a younger rider, I don’t know why they turn monochromatic when it’s for bigger sizes—adults just have to make everything so dull ” Your sister complains “And custom made are so expensive, that’s why I just place a sticker on it! At least it keeps the fun, you know?” she taps at the sunflower sticker.

“I guess…?” Satoru raises an eyebrow, only boring adults like her could find fun in such a thing “Anyways, why won’t you join us today, Y/N? I’m sure you’re much better than me”

“I never liked doing this because I always felt like I was going to fall, or worse, get stomped to death. I only did this once with my mom, and I had enough” your mind goes back to the picture your father took of that fateful day your mom placed you on top of Ume, the same one you were crying your heart out for sitting on top of a huge animal.

The one that you’ve kidnapped from the family album and stored it away from any prying eyes, secured in one of the many cabinets in your room.

“Wait, what?! Stom—stomped to death?!” He replies with a cry “Don’t make me nervous Y/N! Does that mean I’m going to fall?!”

Hinata can’t help but roll her eyes at his evidently fake reaction. The cynicism of him.... It makes her wonder how the inner mind of the great Gojo heir works if he’d only started worrying about that now .

“No, you won’t. Because you’re going to ride with me” she declares, having adjusted her helmet long ago whilst Satoru was panicking.

“W-what?” Satoru stammers, and when he once felt despair, there was nothing but relief, for his savior, Hinata L/N, had come to his rescue with a suggestion that implied more than she was letting on.

A gesture that he considered so… intimate, loving, that he couldn’t stop his cheeks from burning “Oh, Hina-chan… I—I don’t know what to say… that’s so unexpected and… romantic…”

“Stop it!” Hinata shrieks, putting a halting screech to his shojo-like fantasy “I’m only doing so because I don’t trust you with the horses!”

“Sure, sure” Gojo dismisses, looking away as a pout forms on his lips “I too would be shy if I were to be close with my beloved…”

“Alright, sure, whatever you say Satoru, just put the helmet on!” Hinata huffs and heads into the stable.

All that she wants to do is leave Satoru’s antics behind and move on with his plan, and what better way to relax her than personally greeting each and every horse inside the stable, by gently patting their manes and doting on them?

And she did just that, sharing her limited amount of minutes between each and every single one, commending their good health as well as their responsive nature, which had been the same adoring one she’d given them.

She continued to do so, that is, until she came face to face with the one that held a special place in her heart, the one that she considers part of the family, her favorite, the one and only…

“Ume!” Hinata bubbled as soon as her eyes landed on the familiar figure of the brown horse came into view, carefully skipping ahead (so as to not alarm the more sensitive horses) towards her and lunging over to hug her neck once in her grasp.

“Oh, Ume, how have you been?! It’s been so long since I last saw you! I hope the caretakers have been treating you well” Hinata reflects on all the time she’s spent away due to school and overall life as a sorcerer. She likes it, but she regrets the fact that she can’t be with her family as much as before.

And it seems that the horse feels that way, because Ume responds by neighing and eagerly brushing her neck against your sister.

“I miss you too” she says, carefully placing her fingers on her mane and petting her “And guess what? We’re taking you out today! On a stroll! Are you excited?” 

Ume neighs once more, seemingly understanding your sister’s words, out of excitement. It’s been so long since she was taken out, at least by one of the L/N siblings, and she can’t wait to spend this wonderful day with either of them.

“Y/N, can you pass me the bridle?” Making haste of her time, Hinata asks you as she points to a nearby depot just a few feet away from her location, where you’re able to instantly spot the requested item. “And the leather reins as well”

“Sure” you nod, heading over to complete your request and head back over to your sister.

At the closeness between you and the mare, you inevitably lock your eyes onto Ume’s. 

A normal, mundane gesture that passes unnoticed by Hinata, but not for you as you suddenly feel a shift it the atmosphere, and not exactly one that you’d call ideal.

From feeling comfortable, perhaps a bit like a fish out of water for it had been so long you’ve been there, you start to feel tense…endangered.

All because your mind believes to be seeing Ume looking straight into your soul, decisively, intimidatingly wondering whether to bite your hand off or stomp you to death…

Thoughts that become ludicrous as soon as Ume stretches over to your direction, using the tip of her head to reach as far as she can, in hopes that you’d pet her too.

“Aw, look! Ume wants you to pet her” Hinata notes, and at the sudden gesture, you retract away from her. “Don’t be like that, just place your hand on the top of her head and you’ll be fine”

“Don’t push it, sis. I’m already doing too much out of my comfort zone by talking her out on a stroll…” you murmur, and Hinata sighs.

“Alright, can’t deny that” She says, looking back at the horse “My sister is a bit afraid of you, but there’s nothing to fear, right? You would never hurt her”

You looked away, feeling a bit embarrassed for how grossly sweet she was talking to Ume, leading you to land your eyes on Satoru, which you expected to see twisting his lips into a grimace of revolt or disgust, perhaps even a smirk of mockery towards your sister.

However… none of that was to be found, and instead, he remained… serious while intently looking at your sister.

There were moments where you’d forget that even with his… aggravating nature, he was still capable of being a decent human being when it came to personal matters. 

Ume had remained off limits when it came to his jabs, for he knew what she represented when it came to your mother, thus, he limited himself to solely observing his surroundings.

However, that wouldn’t last long once Hinata handed you a prepared Ume and made way towards the next horse.

One that demonstrated that Ume was being anything but intimidating.

“We’re taking Dio today”

It was at this moment that you knew that Hinata was planning something serious.

“Dad’s horse? That Dio?” the way your voice frets makes the alarms in Satoru’s head go off.

“Wait, that means something?” He asks.

“No, of course not” Hinata protested, hurrying to keep her cover, which was almost revealed due to your quick observation “Y/N just… doesn’t like that horse in particular, right?”

“I mean… I’m not fond of many…?” you falter, and your act unknowingly convinces Satoru to not give your question any more attention than necessary.

“I just wanted to try something different” Hinata explains “It’s been a while since I took him out for a ride, and dad asked me to take him out so… why not?”

For a wide variety of reasons, you’d wish to say.

Of all horses… Dio was… well, peculiar, to say the least. 

Ever since he arrived at the L/N estate, he had earned quite the reputation amongst habitants and caretakers alike. 

Beginning with the fastest speed and strength of all horses that have ever lived in the stable, as well as being blessed with good genetics that easily earned him the possibility of entering the equivalent of a pageant .

However, his name didn’t strike you as a concern because of his supposed beauty or skills… It was his personality that made you worry.

Dio, the magnificent dark stallion that your father brought as a possible partner for Ume, from the very first day that he arrived, hated every living thing inside the stable. Whenever possible, he’d neigh and startle the caretakers by grabbing the food out of their hands and tossing it away, even attempting to bite them if they got too close!

And let’s not even talk about his failed partnership with Ume, whose gentler nature never allowed them to get along. It got to the point that Ume would run from him the moment she noticed he was near—and with that, any chances to breed foals was effectively discarded.

The only two who had been to tame the beast had been your father, and Hinata subsequently, through much hard work and dedication; his personality became tamer when around them, giving the false impression that he’d calm down, only to be struck by realization by an assassination attempt under it’s hooves.

Thus, a silent agreement came to place, reminding everyone to keep away from him, unless it was Eiichi or Hinata.

Your assumptions of Gojo doing something unthinkable gain more ground by each passing second—but she couldn’t be planning on… murdering him… right?

“Are you sure that’s ok, Hinata?” you whisper over to your sister, low enough to keep away an already nervous Satoru at bay, but loud enough to show your concern. “What are you planning?”

“Oh, nothing” she voices innocently as she proceeds to place the necessary equipment on Dio “That you need to know yet ”

You shiver, and for the second time that day, a sting of fear strikes your body upon hearing her words.

You can see it now, a side of your sister that she rarely reveals to others stepping into the picture.

The mature, always the bigger person aspect of your sister is long gone, and in return, a vengeful one takes its place. One that’s eager to serve justice towards those that wronged her and by all means necessary.

To see her act so secretly, yet evidently threatening…

For the first time in your life, you pity the unsuspecting heir of the Gojo clan.

 

Once both horses and jockeys are set and ready to go, Hinata takes point and leads the group onto a large, spacious area of the meadow, void of any obstacles, to seemingly take the horses into a stroll.

You’d suggested a change of scenery, like going into the trails or even visiting the nearby waterfall.

Although appreciative of your participation, Hinata declines your offer, explaining that going deeper into the nearby forest with an older horse can put them into a difficult situation if Ume got injured, thus, remaining in a somewhat plain terrain where all involved could freely act was the best way to go.

She’d also wanted to keep the majority of control of what she’s going to enact, for the forest offered too many disturbances that could bend her plan in a way that she wouldn’t want to—but she wouldn’t tell you that , of course.

“Do you even know how to get on a horse?” It’s an inquiry that feels inconsequential considering Gojo’s imposing height, but your sister nonetheless finds it necessary to ask him, perhaps out of concern for his safety or Dio’s, your father’s stallion, or to make a mockery of him.

Whatever it was, Satoru responds nonchalantly.

“Just gotta jump on it, right?”

“I hope that wasn’t serious” Hinata raises an eyebrow “Place your dominant feet on this pedal” she points to the one on the right side of the horse “and propel yourself upwards, from there, you should be able to swing your other leg over the saddle with the momentum, and that’s basically it— here, let me do it first, it’ll be easier to help you up”

And before you’re able to react, Hinata was already on top of the horse and sitting on the saddle, just to show the level of comfortability she had in this area of expertise. 

Had it been you trying to get on top, you’d probably still be stuck to the ground, wondering if there was any other way to get there instead of parkouring your way to the top.

Your sister adjusts herself to sit comfortably on the saddle, and once set, looks down to Gojo.

“Here” she says, stretching her arm towards him “I’ll pull you up”

“Am I going on the front, or the back?” he responds. His hand is making way towards Hinata’s, that is, until he feels the heavy gaze of your father’s stallion on him—a piercing look that only warns him to back off. Satoru retracts his hand, and Hinata subtly smiles at the interaction, her plan evidently working.

“The back, obviously” Hinata proceeds to reach out for his hand and pulls him towards her, Satoru inadvertently forced to jump onto the horse, lest he wants to crash into it. “I’m leading the horse”

“Does that mean… I’ll be… hugging you?” Satoru murmurs, putting on the act of a blushing bride as soon as he realizes the seemingly compromising position he’ll find himself from this moment forward.

“I knew where this was going” Your sister bickers under her breath “You can hold me, or the saddle, whatever makes you comfortable”

“Do you do this often with other men? Do you let them hug you too?” Satoru suddenly asks, jealousy interlaced in his voice—but it’s nothing more than an act, as most things often go with him.

“Do you think I have time to meet other men, with all the work we gotta do?” Hinata frowns. “I wish I could afford meeting someone, maybe they won’t be as annoying as you”

“You can start with Y/N’s friends! I’m sure one of them will catch your interest” Gojo curbs the ball towards you and you flinch. You’ve been so engrossed in their conversation (and avoiding getting eaten by Ume, apparently) that you’d almost forgotten you were there in the first place.

“Hey, don’t bring me, or my friends, into your circus” you chuckle “I’d rather be in my room than here”

“And what for?” Gojo raises an eyebrow “So you can play that new game? All Pokémon games are the same, just with a different cover art”

You sigh, noticing that he was being… uncharacteristically more annoying today, almost as if he were trying to provoke either of you.

You know how bad this would sound if spoken out loud, but you really can’t wait for Hinata to show him his place.

“ Anyways, are you ready?” Hinata asks, carefully placing her hands on the horse's dark mane and petting it. Judging by her gesture, you come to the understanding that in reality the question was intended towards Dio, and not Satoru. Not that the last would’ve known or care due to the way he responds soon after.

“Yep” He grins, giving her a thumbs up “Locked and loaded, whenever you’re re—”

Hinata doesn’t even allow him to finish his sentence before she swiftly whips the leather reins against the horse, the third call for the star of the show to start its performance.

There’s no preparation, no warning, not even a second to breathe, nothing that could help Satoru cope with the fact that your sister had planned on startling him—no, scratch that, frighten him by the stallions impressive reach to stop speed in less than a second,  leaving nothing but a cloud of dust and your startled face as testimony of their presence.

It’s only a matter of seconds before Satoru’s shrieks become apparent, his voice traveling alongside the wind to warn each living existence of his great dislike of the equestrian activity.

You’d muffle your laugh, thinking of his reaction to be nothing more than outrageous. Who’d think that the man who always tried his hardest to look cool and dark would really let himself go like that? It’s a memory that will always be ingrained in your mind, one that you’d be able to bring in the future as blackmail, and you’re eternally grateful that Hinata brought you to witness it!

“Holy shit, Hinata!” You laugh, unsure if she’d be able to hear you but you still go on anyways “Was this your plan all along?! To scare Satoru??” 

“Yes!!” Hinata chortled back, a reaction that only made Gojo scream louder “It’s been my plan ever since!!”

“Hinataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Stop!! Stop!! ” he wails, pushing his head against your sister’s back as he attempts to hold on tighter to her, seemingly feeling the speed of the stallion grow impossibly faster and faster; was this even possible, or was it the adrenaline pumping in his veins that made him believe so?!

And to make matters worse, it seemed that the horse was also enjoying making Satoru suffer from the way it would jolt and rattle from time to time, movements that would earn him an additional streak from the white-haired man, a reward likened to applause for the performer.

All of this made Satoru wonder if even the horse was on board with the plan! Did Hinata and the stallion plan this?

And by the way you laughed, were you also knowledgeable of this?! That’s why you did nothing to stop her—even though you hated it as much as him?!

But those were subjects that would remain unsolved as Hinata made hasty work of her equestrian knowledge to push Gojo onto a new level of fear, doubled down by a now revealed cause.

“This is what you get from that time in the forest!” she hisses as she continues to gallop across the meadow “You—your little prank gave me a rash that I couldn’t cure for days!!”

But Gojo, as much as he wanted to respond and explain that it was never meant to get to that level, can’t do much through his pumping heart and deafening screams but murmur prayers for all of this to end.

“And to think that Geto was behind it too! I can’t believe I trusted you both! ” She condemns “Geto was lucky to sense I was planning something when I invited him over, but you didn’t! Because at the end, even after you brag yourself to be some almighty being, the strongest... you’re really, really stupid!!” she concludes with a victorious laugh. “I win this time!!”

To say that Hinata was drunk in arrogance was an understatement, however, it was with a somewhat justifiable explanation.

Before she’d fallen into this pit of overconfidence, she was disappointed. Very disappointed. She thought that by entering jujutsu high, things would start to change—after all, everyone that enters that school knows they’re on their way to becoming professional sorcerers, thus, a level of maturity is expected… right?

But she was to be slapped across the face with the harsh reality that not everyone was to be as dedicated as her—or stuck-up, as Satoru would call her— and if anything, this was just like any other school environment, with brash and careless students that just wanted to enjoy their youth, and not worry about the future!

A statement that became evident when these two goofballs did what they did.

Nevertheless, far from harboring feelings towards the perpetrators, she held them towards herself, for thinking that these dorks would know anything about common sense and respect.

Well, she knew she couldn’t expect much from two boys that thought of themselves as men. And if that’s how they wanted to play, then that's what she’ll do.

With much reluctance, she’d lower herself to their level and prove to them that even by playing by their rules, she’s still better.

And after careful planning and rehearsal, she finally did it.

It might not have been as hazardous as the one he performed on her, but it’s sufficient enough to give him the message that she’s not going to take it anymore—and certainly not from him!

This moment might go down as a short-lived, countable victory against him, but it’s one that she’ll make the most of—Hinata will never make him forget it.

“Wait, Hina—Hinata!!” Gojo continues to yell, hands now scrambling from your sister to the saddle as they precariously searched for a beacon of stability to uphold his stance on the horse, but because the jockey had resorted to exploit a combination of bumps and speed to disturb her companion as much as possible, Satoru was left with hopelessness and a continuation of his shrieks.

“Hinata—Hinata wait!” He’d gasp, throat hoarse as he’d envisioned one of his worst fears coming true ”I think I’m going to—”

You might’ve not been close enough to hear the rest of his yells, or make out through his lips if he’d said anything else to your sister, but even at your distance and inexperience, you were still capable to distinguish that the way he was quivering on the saddle was not normal by any means. 

And by the way his body was struggling to keep up with your sister’s agile friskiness, as well as him continuously failing to find a secure spot to hold on to, it was only natural that disaster would ensue.

Hinata had long crossed the limit where her prank was no longer fun, and noticing that she was too deep into her revenge to care what was happening behind her, it was decided that you needed to step in.

“Wait, Hinata!” You cry, waving your arms in the air while attempting to move somewhat closer so she could either hear or see you better, but with enough care to not let go of Ume or startle her.

Unfortunately, it seems that your mother’s prized mare was also aligned to Hinata’s intentions, for she doesn’t move more than an inch upon sensing the your harsh pull on her reins, misjudging it as an act of aggression and retaliating by pulling back against you “Not now Ume! I need to stop Hinata!— Hinata!! ”

You cry harder, but it’s too late. When your sister finally decides to turn around and tend to the reason for your call, Satoru was already leaning over to the side, and before you can warn her to help him, his body hits the ground.

The loud thud is enough to snap Hinata out of her vengeful trance, and with her quick thinking and extensive knowledge of the activity, she efficiently avoids any further damage to the young man by guiding the horse away and preparing the horse to slow down.

“Satoru!” Hinata gasps, sternly pulling on the reins “Yield!”

The majestic stallion eventually comes to a complete stop. Hinata  expeditiously jumps down from the saddle and rushes towards Satoru’s crouching body, who was tightly embracing one of his arms against his chest as he wept out of pain.

“Satoru, Satoru, can you hear me?” Hinata manages to ask through the thundering noise of her heartbeat in her ears as she carefully moves closer to him “Satoru, are you ok?”

“I—Hinata…I—I think I broke  my arm” He weeps and Hinata’s blood runs cold as fear instantly settles in the very fabric of her core.

Her vision blurs as the consequences of her actions begin to unfurl before her, but she doesn’t let this happening to extend more than necessary. 

She needs to focus on the emergency before her, and she needs to do it now .

“Y/N! Get the doctor!!” She cries as she wipes away the sweat from her forehead—Hinata’s desperation has her wishing she could move Satoru onto the estate and get him the help he needs, but she knows best to not move the patient unless the professional allows it, thus, she’s forced to voice her frustration onto you “ Hurry!! ”

Knowing well that time is of the essence in these urgent matters, you make haste to tie Ume onto a nearby wooden post so as she wouldn’t run away (although her old age wouldn’t permit it anymore, but you weren’t to take any risks) before sprinting back into the estate, crying and demanding for the family doctor to be called immediately, giving no further explanation to members of your clan whom grew worried upon seeing your pale face, aside that you needed the professional quickly.

Sumire, your closest friend, seemingly apparated herself out of nowhere and onto your side after briefly hearing the whole commotion from just a few rooms away—and unlike the rest of the habitants, she doesn’t ask anything, she simply reaches for the phone and calls the doctor.

“What happened?!” Sumire cries as the phone begins to ring, hands trembling as a million of terrible scenarios flash across her mind  “Are you ok? Is Hinata-sama ok?!”

“Yes, yes we’re fine but… Satoru… he’s not!” You whimper and the revelation of the Gojo heir suffering a deadly injury is enough for her blood to run cold as well.

Once the doctor is on the other side of the line, Sumire urges him to come as quickly as possible to tend to an emergency. Luckily, for the man who had labeled himself to be just a phone call away (also known as the nearby village), wasted no time to confirm his presence there and hung up.

It goes unsaid that the main motivator for him to not ask for any more details was that the L/N clan was one of his highest paying clients, meaning that if you or anyone from the house needed him, he’d be there in a matter of seconds, just like what happened soon after he’d received your call, making way to your home’s main entrance, where you and Sumire barely greeted him before hurrying him towards his patient, who remained on the ground loyally accompanied by your sister who tried to ease his worries by reassuring him that the doctor was on his way.

Due to his many years of experience, the doctor only needed a brief inspection of Satoru’s arm to confirm his dreadful assumption, which places the last nail on Hinata’s coffin of regret and sorrow.

However, bureaucracy was still needed to make this statement official, thus, once he declared it was safe to move Satoru into a more appropriate setup, you, your sister, and Sumire carefully transferred him into the ambulance previously called by the doctor and transferred him into the nearest hospital with utmost secrecy—as much as it was allowed—for Satoru requested this matter to be kept a secret until he decides whether to tell the elders of his clan what happened… or not.

In any other circumstances, such as pertaining to jujutsu matters like a mission or a school assignment, that would’ve been the first course of action. But because the precede of his injury had been in an informal setting, and of petty revenge… it was a matter that had to be taken care of delicately. 

Thus, it was agreed between everyone present that this be to be kept a secret, at least until everything cooled down. The servants that heard of the commotion, but not witnessed it directly, were also tasked to feign ignorance. 

And now that all that was set… Hinata now had to face the consequences of her actions.

“How… bad is it?” Hinata asks for the nth time during that visit. The doctor has grown rather… annoyed by her repetitive inquiries, but just as stated before, because her family is one of the best paying ones, he doesn’t show his irritation. 

“If he rests, I presume he’ll heal at around 6 weeks the earliest” The doctor reiterates as he continues to set the last adjustments of Gojo’s cast—the x-ray that was performed at the hospital confirmed the status of his broken bone and it’s severity, thus, the necessity of such a procedure. Another symbol that will forever haunt Hinata for her ill decision making. “It’s very important that he doesn’t do anything that might stress the arm, for it might not heal appropriately”

Hinata swallows, succumbing deeper and deeper into the pit of her regret, which only becomes darker as the doctor continues to explain Satoru’s situation, who, in return, has kept quiet in the face of pain, and possible anxiety for not being able to live out his life as he’d done up to that point.

The only thing that keeps both of them at ease is that they won’t go back to school until roughly 6 weeks, meaning that they will be able to keep this little incident a secret from the prying eyes of Jujutsu HQ, and their friends… because if any of them got word of this, it would travel around Japan like a wildfire, and by then it would be too late to make any excuses to cover it up.

That is, of course, unless they’re assigned missions…

Anyways, Satoru really couldn’t care less about facing the elders. If anything, that’s an affair that he considers even more tiresome than having to go to the hospital, get his arm checked, and stay at the L/N estate until it heals. If anything, he could take this whole thing as a sort of vacation from his clan! 

Ah, if only you and your sister could have this  naïve optimism.

“He’ll be able to leave the hospital in a few hours after we get his health insurance info and invoice ready”

“Oh, um, that’s fine” Hinata says in behalf of Satoru “Since I’m his fiancée I’m entitled to have all that information, just give me a few seconds and I’ll bring them to you”

“If that’s the case, you can just mail them to me and we’ll work from there”

And with that, the days seemed to pass awfully, regretfully slow, specially for Hinata, whom upon receiving Satoru in her house, has spent most of her time actively trying to avoid facing him at all costs, shamefully reprimanding herself for allowing such childish revenge to get the best of her and subsequently get him injured.

Her predicament worsened when the truth of his actions was brought to the Gojo’s and the L/N’s attention, earning her an earful from both, which was abruptly ceased thanks to Satoru’s and Eiichi’—your father’s—intervention.

The first argued that this was none of their concern, for it was only an incident and that Hinata wasn’t acting with the set intention of hurting him, while the last defended that they were simply spending time together in order to bond, as the couple they were to become in the future, and given their expected lifestyle, it was only a matter of time before one of them got injured.

However, your father would secretly confide to you that he was somewhat pleased with Satoru’s current predicament, for he never liked how rough his future son-in-law could be with you and your sister. Maybe this would give him the understanding to control himself… and now that women should be treated gracefully, displaying how oblivious he was at the fact that your sister was the one that got him in this entanglement in the first place.

As time passed, Satoru began to notice that Hinata was trying to avoid him, and would attempt to work a cheerful way to approach her, as well as you so that neither would remain gloomy all the time. After all, who looks forward to spending the summer with a broken arm and no friends? No one, that’s who.

But it didn’t work—Hinata would continue to ignore him, sharply turning around whenever seeing him on the other side of the hall and going the opposite direction. 

And you… well, you’d kept rather quiet about the whole ordeal. The only times you tried to talk to your sister and reassure her that it wasn’t her fault that this happened, she would only tell you that she shouldn’t have done anything in the first place and exit the room.

You’d continue to approach her, but it was all for naught as their relationship seemed to become more and more distant with each passing day, making you believe that perhaps the only time they’ll ever talk to one another is when they’re exchanging vows on their wedding day. 

Well, just because your sister doesn’t want to talk to him anymore doesn’t mean you should do the same. 

Satoru needed support in this difficult time, thus, hoping to make his day more entertaining, you decide to bring him one of the consoles you believe to be his favorite—a PlayStation 2— with a few games, and set it up in his room. Although you briefly stopped yourself from time to time, wondering if he’d be able to do much due to his cast. Well, intentions are what always mattered anyways. If not, he can see you play.

Asides from trying to make his days more distracting, you were also looking for alternative options to speed up his healing process, such as contacting Shoko. 

You knew this was going against the initial agreement between Satoru and your sister, but you really couldn’t stop from feeling miserable at their obvious distancing, or the pause his life had to make, and hoping to mend things between them, you thought that getting Shoko involved would be a good option.

Maybe your sister just needed to see Satoru all healed up to finally get over that emotional blockade she’d set between the two, leading to the two of them to talk about everything that happened, and before you know it, things will be back to normal!

A plan that was never set to occur, for Shoko had informed you that she unfortunately lacked the preparation to reconstruct bones with her technique, citing “I’ll only learn how to do that in medical school, and I have yet to graduate jujutsu high so… yeah. Besides, this experience will help Satoru build character” and that’s how your conversation with her ended.

“Ah, well… it’s not good to expect Shoko to cover up for all injuries” you conclude as you walk towards Satoru’s temporary room, attempting to comfort yourself “She deserves to enjoy her holiday as well, besides, if the doctor said it’s nothing too critical, his body should be able to do the work on it’s own”

You eventually reach the familiar guest room door, and while carefully balancing the console and controller on your other hand, you proceed to slide the door open, silently to not rattle Satoru awake if resting, or just to not seem disrespectful of his privacy.

However, the sight that received you was far more extraordinary than anything you would’ve expected.

It was so shocking, that all you could do as a reaction is drop the items into the ground, the sonorous crash ringing in your ears, as you exclaim:

“SATORU?!—Wha—Wha—How…. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

How do you even begin to describe what you say?

Satoru, in all of his glory, is laying on the floor, watching some random show on the T.V. before him—which was one of the first things he requested as soon as he moved into the guest room— while eating one of the snacks you presume some of the servants have brought moments before.

By a simple glance, it was nothing uncommon. An ordinary day for the injured Satoru.

However, here’s the catch. The reason why you were so startled in the first place.

He was resting on his seemingly injured arm… without a cast. 

Having been startled by the sound of the crashing console and your shrilling call of his name, the man wastes no second to hurriedly push himself up from the ground and nervously grin, the expected reaction of one being caught in the act. “Oh, hey Y/N-chan!” he calls, voice trembling as he walks towards you in an effort to explain himself, if such a thing was even possible.  “It’s—It’s a miracle! My arm is cured!”

“Cut the garbage! What is going on?!” You snapped, slamming the door behind you to avoid any onlooker setting their eyes on this… undesirable scenario until you get a proper explanation, and cornering him back to his spot.

There’s no way this was a dream, for the thunderous thud of the console against the tatami floor was enough to snap you conscious. There was no possible way that he would’ve healed this fast, 2 weeks into his injury.

That is… no, did he… could it be that he developed another technique?!

What?! Of course not! And even if he did, why did he remain quiet?!

Unless…

This was all a lie to begin with?!

“Does Hinata know about this?!” You cry “Does she know you—” he abruptly silences you by placing his hands over your mouth.

“No, of course not!” He whispers. “And you must promise me she won’t know!”

“Adnh wky wl aa gre t tht?” you groan. Satoru silently mouths a small o and proceeds to remove his hands from your face.

“Oh yeah, sorry—say that again?”

“And why would I agree to that?!” You hiss, and in less than a second he attempts to push his hands over your mouth once more, but unwilling to act as his fool, you move away from him. 

“Keep it down, Y/N!” he warns, seemingly wanting to discuss this secret in secrecy. “Or I won’t tell you anything”

“...Fine” you groan, begrudgingly accepting his conditions with a pout. “What the hell is going on, Satoru? And why doesn’t Hinata know about this?!”

“Because she can’t! That’s the best part if you ask me, she hasn’t figured out anything at all!” He beams, clearly proud of his… fiasco? “All according to plan”

“Huh? Wait—waitwaitwaitwait, all according to plan?” you interrupted “What do you mean according to plan?!?” “Oh yeah, right—guess the cat is out of the bag” Satoru says, going back down to the futon, patting on an empty spot before him, as if inviting you to sit down beside him. You’re hesitant to accept, but the shock of being bombarded with this new version of the truth is enough to push you down and relax. “So… where do I begin?”

“From the start!” you smack him in the arm “Was this all fake?! Were you even hurt?!”

“Ouch—Kind of!” he attempts to cover himself from your sharp blows, only to end up chuckling when he realizes they're weaker than he expected—enough motivation for you to try harder; and you accomplish so successfully “Ouch!” he releases a genuine whine followed by an attempt to cower from your attacks, which only stopped after you deem the message to have been clear. ”Ok, fine—You see… It all started a long time ago, after your sister and I went on a mission with our classmates. It was quick and easy, nothing much to worry about, that is, until the incident happened. But that doesn’t matter either! It was just a little prank, so we mo—”

“Uh, incident ?” you cautioned skeptically “What incident? What the hell did you do to get my sister so angry in the first place??”

“Oh, she hasn’t told you? Guess that’s a story for another day” Gojo winks, and you’re more than ready to demand an explanation from him, but before you’re able to jump on his case, he continues on with this fanciful retelling of the facts. “Anyways, I moved on from the prank, we all did actually. I don’t think it was that serious, but your sister however… did not. When I noticed that she started acting weird towards me and Geto, that’s when I knew that she was planning to do something”

“And you never thought of apologizing for whatever you did, instead of assuming she was fine with it?” you frown.

“I mean—Now that you put it that way I feel kinda bad! But she went on with the prank anyways, so can you blame me for her holding onto grudges??”

“That still doesn’t explain how you knew she was going to do this ”

“I’m just that good” A confident demeanor emanates from his voice, but you’re not easily impressionable, less with the man who was torturing your poor sister with guilt, and he’s quick to catch on. “Fine, I might’ve slowly planted the idea in her mind”

“What do you mean?”

“I knew she wanted to do something to get back at me, but in order for me to still have the upper hand in this prank war I needed it to be something I could control but was alluring to her too, thus… whenever I could, I would bring up that I really disliked horse riding!”

His mind takes him back to an ordinary school day, one that saw them receiving a handful of math assignments —since jujutsu high was still expected to teach them “ normal ” classes like any other school— to finish that day.

Finding this to be his cue, Satoru proceeds by quickly browsing through the seemingly endless pages with an uninterested facade he considered very convincing, followed by an obnoxious groan that allows him to sell the part of lazy student to both the teacher before him, and your unsuspecting sister.

“Man, this sucks! Thousands of math problems to solve in less than an hour? Why do we have to do this? We’re going to be sorcerers!” Satoru would protest, tossing the papers down onto his desk “Well, at least it’s not horse riding, I'd much rather do this than that ! Talk about being boring…”

The teacher wasted no second to reprimand the young man for his frivolous reaction and unwanted commentary, a moment Hinata took to silently eye him and astonishingly wonder how he managed to make such a comparison—one thing was clearly out of the other’s league!

And while she might’ve thought of this as an unprecedented happening, Satoru was enjoying the first signs of a successful manipulation.

“Or like the other time we were classifying curses and I compared the smell of one of the curses to a horse! You should’ve seen the look on her face! If looks could kill…” Satoru sighs, like an old man remembering the golden days of his life. “When I eventually received her call inviting me over to the estate, I knew she’d taken the bait, and from there, the rest is history!”

“Uuuuhhh, I think you missed a few steps there, Satoru” you pointed towards the arm that, until a few minutes ago, you believed to still be broken. The biggest plot hole in his retelling “What about your arm? We were there when the doctor said you broke it, we saw the x-rays too!”

“All fake” he states matter-of-factly. “Everything”

“Wait, does that mean you… you somehow involved the doctor?!”

“Yep! I called him a few days before and let him know what I was planning to do, he obviously rejected my idea, but after I managed to convince him with a generous price, he agreed to it almost immediately!” Satoru beams, as if bribing a medical professional was something to brag about. “Although he did make me promise that I wouldn’t reveal his involvement in this, or he would get fired… Anyways! I wanted to bring in my own doctor, an actor actually, to avoid all that stuff, but I thought it would be more convincing if I brought along a familiar face”

“And what if I decided to call another doctor? The hospital, hm? Wouldn’t that mean your little plan was going to fail?”

“I planned ahead for all possible outcomes, I managed to get all the contacts of other doctors that had tended your family in the past, as well as the local hospital! There was no way I would allow this to fail”

«Satoru has too much money in his hands—money that he should be using for something better!» you quietly conclude at the ridiculousness of his commitment. «And yet, it still doesn’t explain why his arm is not broken!»

“What about the fall? You couldn’t have faked that—if anything, you couldn’t gotten hurt for real”

“All planned, little sister” he gestures to his cast “Because I am someone who appreciates the genuineness of a performance, I knew I had to give a convincing act for your sister to believe she’d injured me beyond reasonable doubt! Thus, I prepared myself with all necessary methods to perform a fall without hurting myself! Or keeping it to the minimum if I do get some kind of injury.”

He proceeds to explain that he took a few horse riding classes to familiarize himself with the horse and its movements, as well as how to lessen any chances of injuries if he were to somehow fall, such as switching his body in a certain angle so as to distribute the impact of the fall throughout the protective gear. 

To secure his depiction, he even called Shoko , without giving much explanations of course (for he knew she would tattle tell to Hinata) on what kind of concussions could lead to a broken arm, just so he could replicate them under a safe environment.

And as he continues to explain the intricacies of his malicious plan, you feel yourself being pushed down to the muddy waters of disbelief, still struggling to believe anything of the things Satoru had just confessed to you.

You knew Satoru Gojo to be petty, annoying, arrogant… the host to many negative qualities a man could have.

But this ?

This was on a whole ‘nother level.

He’d really gone out of his way to plan all this just to get back to your sister before she even had the chance to do so herself.

Just when you thought Satoru couldn’t be any more unpleasant, he goes ahead and shows you that he, in fact, can be worse.

“Do you even hate horse riding at all?” you dare to ask, believing that maybe his dislike was also a ruse from the very beginning.

“With every inch of my existence” Satoru admits “It was a very difficult task for me to not bore myself to death when doing all this, but I think it was worth it!” “Why did you even tell me this? What if it was someone else that walked into your room? Was that according to your plan as well?”

“You know I can sense energy, right? I knew it was you from a while ago so I had nothing to worry about—as for your other question… It's quite lonely at the top. I planned all of this in secret, not even Geto knows about it! And I couldn’t bear the thought of someone not recognizing my success, so I decided to tell you” he smiles “You and I are the only ones that know the complete truth”

“That’s awful Satoru! Do you even care for how worried my sister is?? She’s been unable to do anything because she feels guilty for hurting you! She doesn’t even want to see you, but now that all this is a lie—”

“You’re making me feel like a jerk now that you say it that way…” Satoru pouts.

“Good! You should feel bad!” You double down “… The only right thing you’ve done right is when you stepped in for my sister when your family was basically harassing her!”

“And they shouldn’t have gotten involved. Nobody can mess up with my future-wife but me” He frowns.

“…How convenient to call her your wife, as if you hadn’t done what you did” You cross your arms “And now what? I hope you’re planning on apologizing soon”

“I will, I will, but you gotta promise me to not tell anyone! Especially your dad, he’s going to kill me if he learns I’ve been messing around with one of his daughters”

“Nice way to phrase that, champ” you wince in disgust “Fine, as much as I hate your prank and everything you’ve done to my sister, I’ll keep quiet, but only if you apologize”

“Thank you, Y/N-chan! You’re the best little sister I never had!” he lunges forward to take you into his arms, but you move away from him before he can even grasp you with his fingers. He whines in dismay as a bigger pout appears on his lips.

“Get apologizing, or I might even tell Ren about it too” you cautioned.

“Oooooh no, that won’t be necessary” Gojo trembles away from you at the mention of your older brother, who, in his own merit, can just be as frightening as your dad whenever angered. It goes unsaid that of all your siblings, Ren is the one that tolerates him the least.

“I’ll do the right thing now that you’ve made me see where I’m wrong. I mean, I was planning to do so I just didn’t know how to make the grand reveal, but don’t worry about it, I’ll do it!”

You find his response to be… cheesy, to say the least, with the feeling that he was simply playing along with your requests. 

But that’d be the least of your concerns now that everything was revealed (meaning that he wasn’t injured, thank god) and he got what he wanted. From this point forward, all that you needed to do with Satoru was keep a close eye on him and hold him to his word.

Thus, once you made peace with the fact that your brother-in-law was a lil piece of shit, but was planning on apologizing to your sister, you proceed to recollect the items you distraughtly dropped onto the floor after this screeching revelation and handed them over to Satoru, under the excuse that he should be able to set them up himself , now that his “broken” arm was in perfect condition, before waving him a quick goodbye and heading back to your room with the intention of resuming the match you paused in order to visit him.

However, just as Satoru had managed to fool your sister, you had managed to play the fool as well.

When you stood there, listening to him reveal all the details of his preposterous revenge plan, you slowly came to the realization that his transgression, although primarily directed to your sister, affected you as well.

This wasn’t something of a first occurrence—Satoru had gone back and forth with your sister when it came to annoying her and vice versa, however, your sister had always taken the stance of the bigger person and ignored him for most of the part, that is, until she reached her breaking point and decided to do something about it.

Something that fell in her unforeseen failure.

Nonetheless, there is one thing that they never accounted for when they were too entangled in this cat and dog pursuit.

And that was… that you’ve been witness to it all.

You’ve miraculously remained uninvolved in their affairs, allowing you to play the part of bystander, or confidant for when the moment required it, such as today with your sister, who although might’ve not given much detail of what she was planning, she uncharacteristically revealed that she was working on something, or Satoru, who gave you his complete testimony on why —although partially— he did this, and how.

You were treated like an underdog of sorts, a person they consider far out of their circle, someone who is not interested in their lifestyles, thus, not someone worthy to rope into their madness.

Acts that lead them to lowering their guards and becoming sloppy when it comes to guarding secrets around you.

And while their assumption wasn’t that farfetched, as you weren’t really that interested in playing this game of chase they have going on, (or courting, as some weird elders would often describe it as) you couldn’t deny the upper hand this whole incident has given you.

It’s the perfect opportunity to make a plan of your own to make him repay for this little insubordination he’d committed against your sister—against your family. 

Nobody could ever see it coming because they often spent their time underestimating you.

A smile appears on your lips as you set your mind into your new goal.

You’ll take advantage of this unprecedented position for as long as you can, carefully observing the unwary Satoru and exploiting his weaknesses.

You’re in no rush. After all, he’s staying at your house.

And you weren’t empty handed. You had assets to exploit, unaccounted allies such as your best friend Sumire, and your older brother Ren, who you knew would jump at the first opportunity to humiliate Satoru, just as he’d done in the past, to count with.

Oh, he would never expect this from you.

You’ll teach Gojo to not mess up with the L/N clan, that is, unless he’s willing to take the heat.

[oreganosbaby]

I don't think Gerri is actually much of a mother figure to Roman. I feel like part of the reason people think this is because they asume he abides by some socially normative idea of motherhood (nurturing, wise, etc.). I don't think he really does or it wouldn't like, manifest in that way because it's not something he'd be able to internalise so deeply. Another part is because Gerri is a woman and an older one at that, so people see this and think "mother figure." Lastly, I think it's also because Roman has a relatively pleasant relationship with his mother when compared to her relationships with her other kids or his with his father. The characters on the show, primarily Shiv and Logan, known Caroline dislikers, interpret Roman's relationship with Gerri this way too, so that reinforces this view in the audience's eyes.

However, his relationship with Gerri doesn't really replicate his with Caroline other than "hiding under the blankets with mommy," and the whole Laurie/Peter Onion thing. The "hiding under the blankets with mommy" thing is more about dependency, his self-image as being weak and helpless. The Laurie/Peter thing is a bit more complicated because it does come across as quite a solid parallel in that they're two women who Roman has a substantial amount of affection for, but ultimately revealed themselves to act in self interest. I do think, though, there's also Logan and Kerry's relationship to consider here. In both the Kerry and Laurie situation, it's much easier to see them as "replacing" Roman. Roman says he's worried about mother's marriage because he thinks she's getting into bed (in both senses) with a guy who will take advantage of her financially, but I think part of what he's upset about is that she didn't tell him about it in the first place. He had to hear it from Glyn the Brexit Pervert. Regardless, you never get the sense that he feels he's being replaced in the way he does with Laurie or Kerry/Hypothetical Baby Roy.

Ultimately, Gerri doesn't serve the same function in Roman's life as Caroline does. What Caroline failed in, but what he sought out is comfort or support (or perhaps the absence of hostility) that would counterbalance Logan's harshness. When Logan rejects him, he'd like for his mom to show him (some kind of fascimile of) comfort and affection, but she doesn't deliver. With Gerri, she provides structure, discipline and direction along with validation and constructive advice. It's more of a mentorship, but the genuine emotional bond coupled with the sexual aspect shows how deep Roman's attraction to (percieved) authority runs. Caroline was merely a passive protector, a human security blanket, but Gerri is more active. I'm sorry to say, but his relationship with Gerri is almost like a more ideal version of what his is with Logan. Logan raised him and Kendall to work at Waystar, but failed them because he never adequately showed them how to actually meet his expectations. His attempts to do this don't yield the desired results, so he blames it all on them. Gerri played this role far better than Logan and was in part, the reason for Roman's temporary status as "the good child." Whether he realises it or not, Logan only wanted one of his kids to succeed him because it was as close to immortality as he could get and Gerri made a far better attempt at Loganifying Roman than he ever did.

[rwprincess]

Two Worlds Collided

Masterlist

A/N: Oh, an anachronistic songfic from RWPrincess? But this time it’s about John Bender! :D Inspired by Never Tear Us Apart (originally by INXS in 1987, but I particularly like this Paloma Faith version)

Word Count: 2K

Synopsis: Bender met reader at the Breakfast Club and the two seemed like opposites, but they shared a common hidden sadness. Over the years, feelings and relationships change.

CW: Swearing, sexuality, Bender being a general asshole

Bender had met her the same way everyone in the Breakfast Club had, on the Saturday detention on March 24th. He had seen her in the hallways prior to that as he was always observant. He had seen everyone in the Breakfast Club before that day; but he hadn’t given her much thought. Now, he was paying attention to little else. He had no idea why he was drawn to her; they were both so different and he could never picture himself with a goody-two-shoes like that. But the way she had reacted to his more vulnerable, real moments, how she tried to make a connection with him...that stuck with him. He knew he should have learned from his disastrous blow-up with Claire that two people who were so different just wouldn’t work out. He repeated this to himself over and over, like a mantra, but it never changed how he actually felt.

After the breakup, the Breakfast Club had a split between those who chose Bender and those who chose Claire. Of course, Andrew sided with Claire unconditionally, but John considered that as no big loss. Allison tried to play the middle ground and Johnson had sided more with him, but he was surprised at the wholehearted backing he received from Y/N. He had assumed that she would either try to be neutral like Allison, or pick Claire. She had no reason to side with him, he had always come off as an aloof ass. But she had, and he was eternally grateful for that. He had originally decided to get together with Claire because the notion had a hot, forbidden quality to it. They spent time insulting each other and making out to make up for it. It was as passionate as it was destructive, so of course it couldn’t last. However, when he was alone and reflected to himself, he had been attracted to Y/N all along. She was hot, yes, but he had plenty of good-looking girls to choose from. He was more drawn to that kind, quiet inside she had displayed that day. How she had gone out of her way numerous times to reach out to him and had been genuinely nice to him. Most of the time, someone only did that to gain something for themselves. Whether it was to use him or to make themselves feel better, it depended on the person, but with Y/N that never felt like it was the case.

Don't ask me

What you know is true

Don't have to tell you

I love your precious heart

He thought back to the first time he saw her on that Saturday, walking into the library and looking so out of place. He was already adjusting into his spot when she entered and she froze in front of all the tables like a deer-in-the-headlights, as if she had just materialized there and had no clue what she was doing. He remembered feeling both attracted to that doe-eyed look and scoffing internally at it. While she wasn’t part of the cliques that Andrew and Claire were, she had a very sheltered look to her and he was envious of that type of innocence. Her ignorance must have been bliss compared to the hell he lived each day at school and at home. She was just as out of place as the preppies or ultra-dweeb Johnson, but instead of being offended by that notion, she looked terrified. She meekly put her items on the front-row desk opposite to him and he thought about all the fun he could poke at everyone here, including her. However, the first blow did not land well. Bender loved making people uncomfortable, but he didn’t necessarily want to make them cry. He’d made some off-handed remark towards her. He had been circling her and eyeing her, employing the discomfort he liked inflicting, trying to ‘guess’ why she was in detention. “I bet you were caught fooling around with a teacher, right? Always the quiet ones that you’d least suspect…”

John Bender rarely regretted his words or actions. He knew he was an asshole and let unfiltered thoughts through so that he could be the center of attention. In doing so, he had to stand by all the shit he said, even when he crossed a line. This was one of the scattered occasions in which he felt remorse, though. She didn’t reply, not verbally, anyway, but she looked scared shitless and was rooted to the spot. Tears instantly sprang up in her eyes and she looked as if she were about to hurl right on his combat boots. He backed off after that. He didn’t apologize, because that’s not something John Bender could have on his reputation, but he didn’t target her. There was something so sincere about her reaction and he saw himself reflected in that expression. Not the tough-as-nails persona he projected, but his secret self who had seen too much too early in life and could barely stand another blow. He didn’t know what her deal was, but there was a heavy sadness behind those eyes that was far too real for him to tamper with.

When he had shown the group his souvenir for spilling paint in his garage, courtesy of his father, she must have seen that reflection back. No one in that group actually knew him. They all thought he was a lying sack of shit; what could he say? His reputation preceded him. But he caught her gaze as he backed away from the group, and the sadness in her recognized the sadness in him. He felt an odd sort of click, a mutual understanding, but he turned away from them all and trashed the library.

I, I was standing

You were there

Two worlds collided

And they could never tear us apart

That was months ago, and out of everyone he met that day, she was the one who truly stuck by him. He’d surprisingly connected with Johnson, sure. Everybody likes to get high and Bender was the supplier. And he and Allison had similar interests, but she wouldn’t give up Andrew and with that territory came Claire...there was just no going back to that. But Bender still had Y/N, and he could never understand it. The first time he had brought her into his friend circle, he tried to justify it as sticking to his word and ‘having the balls to stand up to his friends’ like he had told Claire to do. He also reasoned that it was some sort of social experiment. As much as he liked to portray himself as someone who couldn’t care less, Bender was entirely social. He craved attention and admiration for others and could read just about anyone like a book. Maybe that’s why he didn’t mess with Y/N after that first comment landed so wrongly. He felt like he knew exactly what she was thinking and feeling and decided to back off. However, it wasn’t just some ‘watch and see how she interacts’ set up; Bender genuinely wanted her there. He wanted to integrate her into his life.

She was still extremely quiet, mostly a speak-when-you’re-spoken-to type, but he started to peel back layers in her personality. He found that, despite that lurking sadness, there was an unending pool of optimism. She tried to see the best in situations and in people. She meshed incredibly well with his friends because she listened instead of judged. She would nod along like she knew exactly what they were talking about and how they felt. He started to develop an attachment to her. While he was still dating Claire, he told himself it was akin to having a pet. Y/N was like a goldfish that he could tell his problems to and know the secret would be kept. But after Claire, he realized that wasn’t the case...particularly when he sought Y/N’s comfort above all else. He divulged the entire last big fight he and Claire had to her, and she was just so...reassuring. After that day, he began to see her in a different light. He argued with himself over what his feelings and intentions actually were, but he couldn’t keep them at bay for long. She was good for Bender. He had never felt lighter.

Of course, Bender had not known stability in his life ever, and the risk of falling for Y/N and having it mean something and being accountable to one person overwhelmed him. He did what he knew best: he fought it and ran away from it. At first, he tried to avoid her, just distance himself. But he’d gravitate back; being without her was too heavy to bear. He wanted to try to actively push her away, to fuck up this relationship with his words, just like he did with everything else. But when he opened his mouth to try to lie, to say he didn’t need her or want her around or whatever, he would look into her eyes and it became impossible. He remembered the way he had shaken her to her core the first day they met, and he couldn’t allow himself to bring that sadness up again in her.

We could live for a thousand years

But if I hurt you

I'd make wine from your tears

Eventually, he gave in. While he was able to control his words to not say anything harmful, he wasn’t able to contain them from slipping up and telling her, “Dammit, I love you!” It wasn’t in a context that could be taken as joking or being said flippantly; she knew immediately what he meant and that he meant those words, wholly.

She took his face in her hands and told him, “I love you, too.” There was no turning back, and as the years passed, they fell deeply in love. He'd dug up her secrets and fears, but she seemed to trust him enough to not use them against her in any way. They both dreaded the prospect of never getting out of Shermer and falling into the same circular trap their parents had. However, he reassured her that the moment they had the opportunity, they would bust out of there. He lucked out that Claire had never asked for her diamond earring back. It was probably one of many and she had forgotten she had even given it to him as a token. He decided to pawn it to top-off the savings he and Y/N had accrued. "You're too good for me, you're sure as hell too good for this place,'' he told her. The trade-in was enough to get them out of town and start anew, but only one of them could really ‘move up’ for now. While they argued back and forth about who should get to pursue which dream, Bender rationalized to her, “I was barely cut out for high school. I can’t really do college. And that’s okay. You’re the brains in this relationship, I’m the beauty.” He winked at her and with her laughter as response, that sealed the deal of who was going to school.

I told you

That we could fly

'Cause we all have wings

But some of us don't know why

She searched the crowd, holding her diploma. Bender had supported her both financially and emotionally these last four years and now they had the degree to prove it. She felt pride in being able to take over from him and let him follow a new path. He had always been good with his hands, but despite his protests, he was good with his mind too. He was a sharp-thinker and she knew that he could make a career that he loved out of that. She’d be there to push and brace him as he had done for her. Finally, she spotted him. When their eyes connected, she felt that same crackle that she had the first day they had met, all those years ago. Before the friendship and the love, she knew there was a spark there, that they were two of a kind, even though they were so different.

I, I was standing

You were there

Two worlds collided

And they could never tear us apart

[pars-ley]

Try again

Pairing: Hoseok x Female reader

Summary: When your job lands you at one of the most famous Fashion shows in Paris, the last thing you expect is to run into an ex - the current most sought after model in the industry.

Genre: Exes to lovers / Smut / Fluff

Rating: 18+ (NSFW)

Warnings: Model Hoseok / Dior Hoseok / Unprotected sex (you know the dealio, wrap it when you tap it) / Ever so slight exhibitionism / Nipple play /

Word Count: 2.3k

Beta: @birbdae​ thank you for looking over it twice because I’m so extra (sorry) and thank you for all your help.

Notes: This is for my secret santa project with @thebtswritersclub​ for @yutasgalaxy​ really hope you enjoy! And I also used my square “Jung Hoseok” from my summer bingo card for the @bangtanwritingbingo​ event.

Taglist: @mwitsmejk​ @vantxx95​

The lights go dim and excitement blossoms like spring in your stomach as your eyes remain trained on the runway. Phone at the ready to take notes for this month's fashion article you are in charge of. 

The first model comes out and cameras flash wildly, illuminating the outfit. You scribble away rapidly recounting everything to write up later.

Dior's highly anticipated fashion show, one you had been eagerly counting down the days till. Flying out to Paris was the perfect opportunity for you to mark one destination off your travel list and you have not been disappointed at all. From the architecture to the food, you are undeniably impressed and living one of your ultimate dreams.

It's time for the most awaited outfit yet, everyone was on the edge of their seat poised. You look over at your photographer, he's in position and eager, looking ready to spring.

The lighting and music changes and out walks the model all in black. That's all the detail you notice as your heart stutters and stomach flips as your eyes shift rapidly to his face. 

Jung Hoseok. How did you not know he would be here? 

The cameras flash even more wildly, every photographer wanting to get the best pic of the most sought after model on this runway. Your hand however hovers over your phone, unable to scribble away like you were previously, too distracted by his general presence.

Swallowing the panic you feel rising into your throat you glance at your photographer, his eyes are already on you, pity creasing his brow but a message in his eyes that says "Focus on your job and get it together."

You take a deep breath and compose yourself, making notes on the outfit and nothing more. As soon as your eyes hit the harness stretched across his broad chest however, your legs squeeze together tightly, as not only do previous nights of passion flicker behind your eyelids but the temptation for one last night with him is almost too great to bear.

As you watch him strut down the runway, face impassive and professional, your heart pulls in a thousand directions. Memories of the few years spent together cloud your mind, taking you to another lifetime when he was yours and you were his - before fame, before everything.

You pinch the bridge of your nose hard, willing yourself to focus as you type wildly away on your phone, trying to stay focused.

The show ends a short while after your blast from the past's appearance and all you can think of is getting as far away from him as fast as you can. Before all your hard work of burying your feelings in an attempt to get over him is ruined by your self restraint.

As you head for the exit, a hand lightly grabs your arm. Turning you see a pretty young woman, a badge around her neck and a kind smile on her face, handing you an envelope.

"It's from Hoseok. He asked if I could make sure you get it." She said next to your ear so you could hear over the chatter of the other attendees.

You nod and mechanically take it. She's off through the crowd before you even get a chance to say thank you.

You head to the exit in a daze, clutching the envelope like it holds the answers to life's questions. As soon as you're out in the cool evening air you take yourself off around the corner of the building away from the scattering crowds. Your fingers fumble as you frantically rip at the envelope and open the piece of paper inside, instantly recognising his elegant hand.

Many love letters he would write to you with poetic words scrawled across the page, each sentence a meaningful lyric coming alive as your eyes danced across them with a barrier of tears waiting to fall. Those words tucked away in a box hidden deep in your wardrobe for those moments you wish to relive how he once felt about you.

You read and re-read the note, double checking the words are correct.

"I saw you as you came in, I always had the ability to find you in a crowded room and apparently that hasn't changed. 

I can't believe you're here. Please. Please, meet me at Guy Savoy at 7 o'clock tonight. I would love to see you and speak to you properly. I will book a table under my name. I really hope you show, you have no idea how much I've missed you."

That last line did things to your insides you weren't expecting. Your chest felt full and ready to burst open, love bleeding out of a fresh cut. Maybe you should just go back to your hotel and order room service, or go out for dinner with your photographer seeing as you were both here alone.

But you knew, even as you thought it, you knew you couldn't. You knew you had no intention of doing either. 

Folding up the note and shoving it in your pocket and went in search of your colleague to tell him you wouldn't be travelling back to the hotel with him. He wished you luck, even if there was a hint of apprehension in his tone, you ignored it and took a cab to the restaurant.

Sitting there waiting, your nerves were at their peak. You had chewed the skin along your fingernails until they were sore and you had now resorted to folding your napkin to make different origami shapes. Just as you didn't think your heart could take anymore, you picked up your bag but as you were about to stand and run away, you saw him. Walking towards you, shades on and the most familiar beaming grin that had always made your stomach flip. You couldn't help the pull of your lips, mirroring the same smile he wore.

He breezed up to you and wrapped you in his muscular arms, like a whirlwind his scent intoxicated you and jumbled your mind even further.

"You are a serious sight for sore eyes." he whispers in your ear before pulling away and pushing in your chair as you sit down in a daze.

"You're around gorgeous models all day, I doubt that." you reply, attempting to hide your blush.

He removes his shades and places them on the table, before pushing his fingers roughly through his hair. "Believe me, it’s not as glamorous as people think.”

There’s an awkward silence that falls on your table, with sly, shy glances from you both. 

“How’s it been? Your career I mean.” you blurt out, desperately trying to ease some tension.

He leans back in his chair and shrugs. “I can’t complain, at all. It’s going better than I could have dreamed.”

You nod, taking in how nonchalant he’s being. “I have to admit, I’ve been keeping track.”

“Of me?” he asks, shocked.

“Your career.”

“Really? I’m flattered.” his lips stretch into a toothy grin as a faint scarlet hue spreads across his cheeks.

“You should be very proud of yourself. You’ve accomplished so much, there’s no limit on how far you can go.” you find yourself saying all of this without meaning to.

He covers his face with his hands. “Ok, I appreciate this, really, coming from you this means so much, but I am more interested to hear about you.” he leans forward and places a hand on top of yours, the action causing your heart to soar. “What’s been happening with you? Are you still in the apartment?”

You nod as you take a sip of the champagne the waiter is pouring. “Yep, can’t bear to leave it, I love it there so much, a lot of memories too.” you add sneakily trying to gage his reaction.

His eyes soften. “Yes, we made a lot there.” his fingers entwine in yours, a movement far too comfortable for how long it’s been. "I miss it," he looks into your eyes so fiercely you're slightly taken aback. "I miss us."

Your heart inflates excitedly in your chest as butterflies swarm inside your stomach. But is this a good idea to rekindle an old flame, maybe there was a reason it was extinguished in the first place.

He senses your hesitation. "Are you with anyone?"

You shake your head. "No, I've dated but nothing serious. What about you?"

He laughs a bitter sound. "Same. I've not found anyone that could match up to you."

You hesitate again. "Hoseok…"

"Listen," he puts a hand up quietening you. "I know it was mostly me who instigated us breaking up in the first place but that is my biggest regret. I never should have let you go." he bites back the emotion in his words and swallows.

"But if you hadn't you wouldn't be where you are today." you add, squeezing his hand still clutching yours.

He makes a disgusted noise at the back of his throat. "I left my dream girl to follow my dreams and let me tell you, it wasn't worth it. If someone asked me to choose, it would be you. every. single. time."

He grabs your chair and slides it along closer to him. He reaches out to cup your face. "Please, let me come back." 

His plea does not fall on deaf ears. Your heart knows the decision it's made but you can't form the words to speak. Your libido overtakes the moment and you grab him by the collar of his shirt and crush your lips against his. The taste of him is so familiar and yet new at the same time. Sweet like butter as your mouths melt together as one. His arm around your waist almost pulling you off your chair makes you break away and giggle. The heat in his eyes is almost overwhelming, all your thoughts are no longer in your head but in your groin. He looks so good staring at you like that, like you are the reason for living, how could you not give into him?

"Come back to my hotel?" you whisper urgently.

He nods, throws some cash down for your ordered drinks, takes your hand and pulls you out through the restaurant. You jog along to keep up with his long legged stride. He flags down a cab and you're into it and moving off swiftly while his hands find you again. They roam your body, finding their way under your shirt and to your nipples. He rolls them gently between his fingers as his lips attach themselves to your neck.

His hand glides slowly along your thigh, up your skirt and just when he's about to reach the most desired area the cab stops abruptly, letting you know you've arrived. You groan with frustration but jump out, pulling him into your hotel and leading him up to the room. Your heart pounding so loud in your ears you can't think of anything, nothing but the taste of his lips or the feel of his skin under your fingertips and god, did you want to feel more. 

As soon as your door is unlocked you're on each other. Clothes can't come off fast enough and as they leave a messy path like a trail of breadcrumbs leading towards the bed. 

"God, I have missed you." he says as he glances down at your body before pulling you flush against him.

There's no time for sly touches or exploring, you're both too desperate to feel each other.

Your bare, naked flesh moulds easily together as he enters you, both of your moans echo out across the room. The feeling euphoric as it's what you know and yet what you are no longer used to. He moves inside you with a persistent, desperate rhythm as his hips wind in the most perfect way, hitting that sensitive spot every time and making your toes curl in consequence.

He looks down at you, a soft, determined gaze and says breathlessly, "I love you."

His words are your undoing, as you remember the sweet nothings he used to whisper to you while you were making love before. You unravel around him, blinded by pleasure as your back arches underneath him. He's quick to follow you as you feel his warm seed spilling inside you and you watch his face twist in pleasure, his eyes never leaving yours. The moment, so intense, almost too intense you had to look away.

Both of you breathless and riding on your high, lay back on the bed staring up at the ceiling. A thousand thoughts race through your mind as you panic that you've just made a huge mistake. What if his words weren't genuine? What if he leaves...again? What will you do then? You'll have to start over, all your hard work of pushing him aside.

Almost as if he can sense your rising doubt, his fingers entwine with yours, as he turns onto his side to face you, gently twirling a strand of your hair between his digits.

He watches you closely as if searching your thoughts, your eyes so open and vulnerable - letting him right in, wanting him to silence your fears.

He strokes your face and kisses you so softly your lips melt right into him. You want this. You want him. 

"Hey, I'm serious," he leans back, eyes burning into yours. "I want to come home to you. I want our life back, I want you, always."

Your panicking heart is soothed by his words and you relax and lean into his touch, your limbs softening against him.

"Please, can I have another chance?" he asks, so vulnerable and sincere any doubts are washed away in an instant.

"Let's give it a try." you reply.

He almost blinds you with his sunshine smile as he pulls you against him, his lips dancing happily with yours. And you lose yourself in him completely. You are his, utterly and completely. 

[intergalacticwanderer]

It happened faster than any of them could react.

Overall, things had been going well. The sea monsters were on their last legs, they had the numbers with all of the Mighty Nein present, and it was only a matter of time before they’d come out on the other side. But in combat mere seconds can make all of the difference and one monster slipped through at just the wrong place and time, burying its claws into Kingsley’s back.

He swore, blood bursting from his neck and the monster’s eyes bleeding black, but it wasn't enough, the monster digging the claws in deeper and dragging him off of the ship, two of them going over the rail and into the ocean. He heard someone screaming his name, muffled through the water - and then the claws found his throat, and he didn't hear anything at all.

But something else started to happen.

He didn't know where he was. He knew, at the very least, that he wasn't in the ocean, his surroundings too indistinct and no longer able to feel the water around him. But even with being able to tell where he wasn’t, that still didn’t tell him anything about where he was. In fact, the only source of light Kingsley could see was - himself?

He looked down, startled, and saw that his own form seemed to be made of softly glowing light, a strange in between of tangible and intangible, floating in place. He... he didn’t understand. What was this? Kingsley raised a hand, both confused and awed at the sight.

The fingers began to disintegrate right in front of him.

He recoiled at the sight and the hand - HIS hand - broke apart even further, the once distinct outline now breaking into individual motes of light that slowly drifted away. He scrabbled with his other hand, as if to try and staunch a bleeding wound, but all that did was scatter the remaining bit of light from the hand even faster and he yanked his arm back. To his horror it was happening on other parts of his body as well, chunks carving out and being eaten away, motes continuing to drift, like paper burning into embers, or scattering sea foam, or or or - It felt like he should be hyperventilating. Was he hyperventilating? There wasn’t any sound, he couldn’t tell, could he even-?

Kingsley tried to hold on to his thoughts but they began to disintegrate too, and that realization, the fact that he could feel that happening, sent a bolt of terror through him even greater than the sight of what was happening to his body. He twisted in place, panic rising higher and higher as his body continued to disintegrate, looking for something, anything around him, but. Nothing.

The remaining parts of his legs and tail separated from his torso, stomach now gone, and while it felt like there should have been sound it continued to be completely silent, his thoughts reeling and disoriented as the parts spun away, quickly dissolving and scattering. What was- he couldn’t- who-

Further light scattered and so did his memories. His thoughts. His name. He drifted, motes rising up from near his eyes. Something from eyes. Tears? He didn’t know. Couldn't know. He was small, getting smaller, too small, no stop pleasenoPLEASESTOPNOPLEASE-

Sensation and clarity of thought slammed into him.

Kingsley (Kingsley!) gasped in a breath of air, coughing and shuddering. He was cold. Wet. Someone was holding him, cradling him between arms, one under his shoulders, the other under his knees, and his tail was dangling, limp. He blinked open his eyes. Two faces were directly above him, and there were glimpses of others in his peripheral, just out of direct sight but hovering close. The first face he could see was Fjord, wet hair clinging to his face and breathing heavily. He... he was the one holding him, wasn’t he. The second was Jester, shaking hands hovering over his chest and a faint shimmer fading from the air. He met her eyes.

“Jester...?”

A sharp inhale, and then a laugh, which turned into a heavy, wracking sob, and Jester buried her face into his chest and continued to cry. Others poured in then, crowding close with words of worry and comfort, but Kingsley barely heard them, still too stunned and numb from all that had just happened, and he didn’t react at all.

***

Over the next few days, Kingsley found himself in the company of at least one other member of the Mighty Nein at all times.

Fjord asked him for more advice and assistance around the ship. Jester sought him out even more than normal to ask about drawings, or tattoo ideas, or ship gossip. Caduceus invited him meditate. Caleb and Essek just happened to read their books nearby. Beau dragged him along to sparring practice, his complaints that he didn't even fight hand to hand normally falling on deaf ears. Yasha ended up clinging to him during sleep (though, in that case, he had been the one to initiate at least half of those). And Veth - well, he was pretty sure Veth was just straight up spying on him, but he didn't really begrudge her that.

Usually, Kingsley would have found the hovering his friends were doing to be suffocating, but this time? He sought their company right back, determined to not be alone.

There was no way around it - he had died. Full stop. That would have been bad enough on it's own but of course he had an... interesting relationship with death and revival, and it didn’t escape him that Jester had only started crying once he’d said her name. Like she’d been waiting to hear what his first word would be.

Wondering if that word was going to be “empty.”

He couldn’t tell if that made him feel better or worse. Better because they obviously cared about him, wanted him to be okay and to be the one to come back. Worse, because, well. Last time he’d been the one to come back saying empty. And they had to have gotten that fear from somewhere.

He sighed, pulling the blanket around his shoulders closer as he sat on the deck, watching the bright light of Catha above in the sky. Everyone was out on the deck at that moment, quietly talking after a late night meal and Caleb's dancing lights softly illuminating things along with the moonlight.

The main thing eating at him was the time in between falling into the ocean and the revivify spell, and he shuddered involuntarily at his mind’s word choice. He still didn't understand what that had been, but whatever it was it’d been terrifying, too strange to fall under normal experience and too vivid to “just” be a strange dream. The closest thing he had... his fingers tightened on his blanket. His reoccurring dream- nightmare- memory. Fighting in Cognouza, fighting back against Lucien, breaking free. Drifting away with hundreds of other lights. Drifting...

“Can I ask you all a question?”

Eight other heads turned to him, conversations stopping, and he had to fight to not shrink away. He was the one who’d asked.

“Kind of a morbid one but, wondering about who else has died here. You all know a lot more than me right now.”

He knew of a few past deaths. Glory Run Road. Those in... Cognouza. He wasn’t particularly fond of thinking about any of those from his perspective, however. Better to hear stories from others.

Several of them glanced between each other. Essek was the first to speak up.

“Personally, I have been lucky enough to not require any resurrection magic, and I hope it will remain that way in the future. I believe the same is true for Beauregard?”

Beau nodded. “Yeah. It’s gotten close a couple times but I’ve never actually died. Still kinda shocked at that, honestly.”

“I think I’ve died in a dream? Or maybe it was a vision...?” Yasha said, and when she got multiple confused looks she shrugged. “It was a trial from the Stormlord? I’m not really sure if it counts.”

“Let’s call it an in between,” Kingsley said.

“There’s the time I drowned and came back as a goblin,” Veth said quietly and the mood immediately dropped. She took a long drink from her cup. “And I guess there was also that time in the Happy Fun Ball.”

“Which is why we always check for traps,” Caleb said, giving her a pointed look.

Veth waved a hand in the air. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“Checking blast radius is also important,” Caduceus said, sipping on his cup of tea. “I was too close to an exploding crossbow bolt once,” Caduceus said matter of fact, and Kingsley was gobsmacked at how serene Caduceus was at having literally been blown up. Then again, it was Caduceus, so he shouldn't be that surprised.

Veth bristled. “Hey!”

“Not assigning any blame, just stating what happened,” Caduceus said and he took another sip.

Three people left, and he already knew what the answer could be from two of them. Jester met his eyes and he gave her a little nod. He was okay with them talking about it.

“The only one I’ve had was when we were fighting Lucien,” Jester said, hands resting in her lap. “It happened really fast, but Caduceus got me back up, and Fjord protected both of us. It was still pretty scary, though.”

“I also went down to Lucien, but later in the fight,” Caleb said. Essek looked particularly miserable at the reminder and Caleb gave him a squeeze on the shoulder. “But the Mighty Nein does not leave anyone behind, so I was okay. And the same is true for you,” Caleb said, giving Kingsley a meaningful look and a nod.

Kingsley nodded back, relieved both at the reassurance and the reminder that they never considered him to be the same as Lucien. Sometimes that was enough against the images of them lifeless below him.

(Sometimes.)

Fjord was the last one left, and he downed the rest of his drink before looking Kingsley directly in the eye.

“I died the first time we were attacked by Uk’otoa’s minions.”

Kingsley gave a start. “Wait, really?”

Fjord nodded. “Really.”

“But- that doesn't make sense.” Fjord was the captain and Uk’otoa attacks, those were just- they were just a thing. An annoying and very dangerous thing, sure, but what had happened to him, that was his fault, he hadn't been careful enough, or-

“Kingsley.”

Fjord still held his gaze, not looking away. “What happened the other day is not your fault. If anything, it’s mine.”

“It totally is,” Veth added in and Fjord sighed.

“Regardless, don't blame yourself. I died to just the same thing and it can happen to any of us. And taking care of this problem is why we’re all on the ship right now anyway.”

“Cheers to that,” Beau said, raising her cup in a toast. “I’ve had enough murder fish for my lifetime.”

There was murmured agreement around the group, several others draining their cups and Kingsley staring at the bottom of his when he finished. So that was six. Two thirds of the Mighty Nein had died at least once, himself included, and Fjord even had a similar cause of death to this last time. Definitely not alone. And yet...

“Do you remember anything? From when you died?”

He didn't look up from his cup but he could just imagine the amount of eyes that would be staring at him right now. Whatever, it was already out there.

“A little,” Fjord said. “Mostly just that it was cold, and feeling scared, but...” Fjord’s voice softened and Kingsley looked over at the change in tone. “I also feel like the Wildmother would have been there to catch me. And that’s comforting in its own way.”

Kingsley nodded, mind going back to the scent of a warm sea breeze. Even though he wasn't a follower himself he knew of the comfort that Fjord spoke of.

Which just made him feel even more miserable in that moment.

“So... nothing else? No kind of visions or anything?” No disintegrating and losing everything while completely alone? His voice cracked a little, no longer able to hide his anxiety.

“Nothing in particular.” Fjord frowned. “...are you alright, Kingsley?”

“... not really, no.” He was too worn out to lie at this point and he hunched over, pulling his blanket even tighter.

“Is that what happened to you Kingsley? A vision?” Jester asked.

“Yes? Maybe? I don’t know, vision isn't quite right, but- I don't know.”

“Well, how would you describe it?”

An involuntary shiver ran up his spine. “An experience, I guess? But not a good one, and if anyone ever tried to sell me that kind of ‘experience’ I’d straight up stab them.”

Kingsley went to take a drink before remembering he’d already finished his and he scowled at his empty cup. Caduceus passed over another one without a word and Kingsley murmured a small thanks, taking a long drink to wet his suddenly dry throat.

“I was made out of light or something like that? But-” His throat closed up and he had to loudly clear it to keep going. “I started to disappear. Like I was just a bunch of dandelion fluff and-” he mimed an explosion with his fingers- “poof. Just blowing away. And it wasn't just my body, it was my memories too. I think Jester got me just in time.” It took a moment for him to realize he was shaking.

“C'mere,” Yasha said quietly, moving closer and holding out an arm, Kingsley almost falling into her side and curling close. She held him in her arm and rubbed his shoulder, his shaking slowly subsiding. There was a stunned silence for several moments.

“What the fuck,” Beau breathed out, finally breaking the silence. “That’s so fucked up.”

“And concerning,” Essek said, a curled finger hovering over his mouth. “I have never heard of anything similar, even in death accounts from consecuted individuals. Caduceus?”

“I also have no idea,” Caduceus said, frowning. “Either way, that doesn't sound like how it should go. Not to me at least.”

“Or me,” Veth said, eyes wide. “Dying’s bad enough, that’s- that’s just excessive!”

“This isn’t exactly making me feel better,” Kingsley grumbled. Sure, it was commiserating, but mostly it was just reminding him of how alone he was with what happened.

Yasha squeezed his shoulder. “Well, what would make you feel better?”

“Answers,” Kingsley said without hesitation. “Just... what the hell that was. Or why it happened. Just something.” He curled further into Yasha’s side, his head and tail now the only things peeking out from under the blanket.

“I can research, but it will have to be after the voyage,” Caleb said. “I do not have a personal archive unfortunately.”

“Yet,” Essek added on, giving Caleb a quick smile. “My ability to help is limited but I could still assist with some of this research.”

“And I’ve got the Cobalt Soul stuff of course,” Beau said. “So, definitely a more long term thing but we’ll find out what we can.”

“Thanks guys,” Kingsley said quietly. He wasn’t a fan of the wait but just the chance of answers and the fact they were willing to do it still meant a lot.

All through this Fjord had had a hand on his chin, contemplative, and he looked over at both Jester and Caduceus. “Maybe you two could ask for some godly input? It’s worked before and it shouldn’t hurt at least.”

Caduceus nodded “I say it’d be worth trying out.”

Jester nodded as well. “Yeah! It’d be nice if we could get some answers right away. You want us to give it a shot Kingsley?”

“Please,” he said, latching onto the mention of ‘right away’ and pushing away the small shiver at directly asking the gods for help. That sort of thing was the entire reason he was even alive at all, but even when it was positive the idea of it still freaked him out a little. That didn’t mean he was going to pass up the help however, and he looked at the two of them expectantly.

Jester looked over at Caduceus. “You want me or you to go first?”

Caduceus gestured towards her. “You go ahead.”

“Okay!” Jester said, and Kingsley watched as she brought Sprinkle down from her shoulder and held him in front of her. “Okay Artie, if you’re there, we could really use some answers about what happened to Kingsley, it’d be suuuuper helpful.”

The moment Jester finished speaking Kingsley found himself hit with a sudden wave of tiredness, and as he slipped into sleep at Yasha’s side he saw one last glimpse of Sprinkle’s eyes flashing a brilliant green.

***

The first thing he heard was the quiet shuffling of cards.

He found himself sitting in a room. A tent? The lighting was soft, coming from a few candles scattered around the space and a lantern in the shape of a crescent moon hanging from the ceiling. Colorful cloth was draped from the walls (or was the walls, if the guess about the tent was correct), and while the colors were muted by the low light he saw it was mostly blues and purples, with a splash of red or silver here and there. The sound of shuffling cards came from the back, where a woman sat behind a low table and fanned out a set of cards in front of her, gave a satisfied nod, and shuffled the cards back into the deck, Kingsley catching a brief glimpse of one that said “The Dream” before it disappeared from view.

The woman was wearing a red coat.

She looked up, caught his eye, and smiled. “It has been awhile, has it not?”

Kingsley was unable to speak, heart in his throat but he nodded anyway. He recognized her, would recognize her anywhere, but he had never expected to actually see her again. That dream he’d had in his first day had been precious but fleeting, starting to fade even at the time and he’d resigned himself to never fully knowing what it’d been about. The two parts that had managed to stick with him were the sad angel and the woman in the red coat, and while the angel had been revealed to be Yasha no one had known anything about the woman, and over time he began to wonder if she had been based on an actual person at all. And now here she was.

She placed the deck of cards down on the table and gestured for him to come forward, Kingsley moving up to sit cross legged on a red plush cushion, setting down gingerly and his tail curling up next to him. The fact that he had fallen asleep just before this told him that this should be a dream, but at the same time it felt as if it were something more. Something important. Clasping her hands together on the table she held his gaze, expression serious.

“Normally, I would deliver this kind of message through a reading, to avoid saying too much and to allow ambiguity in the meaning. But what I must say is important enough to be blunt. Your soul is fragile, Kingsley Tealeaf.”

Kingsley swallowed hard. He didn’t know who she was, not really, but absolute truth still rang in her words. “W-what does that mean?”

“In practical terms, returning from death is far more dangerous for you than some of your friends.” She opened up her hands and in between them was a ball of softy glowing light. “If your soul is returned to life quickly enough, as it was this last time, there may not be too many complications. But if you are dead for too long...” At her words the ball of light shuddered and then it scattered just like Kingsley remembered and he flinched back, breathing heavily, having to catch himself on one of his hands as dozens of motes of light rose up around them and then dissipated. She brought her hands back together, looking at him sadly. “I am sorry you had to experience a portion of that. It is not something I would wish on anyone.”

He slowly brought his breathing back under control and righted himself on the cushion, emotions stuck between a giddy rush at the fact that Jester’s intervention seemed to have actually worked and terror at the reminder of what had happened to him. Not to mention that something was wrong with his actual soul itself, so, plenty more potential terror and possible nightmares for him there. But for right now, at least...

“Is there anything I can do to... ‘fix’ my soul? And do you know why it’s like that?”

“For your first question, it will mostly just take time.” She cupped her hands in front of her, smaller motes of light reappearing and coalescing until once again she held a ball of light, and she lifted it up to float above their heads, the space around them now brighter. “The longer it has, the better it will be. It is both as simple and as complicated as that, unfortunately.”

“As for the why...” She spread an arc of cards out on the table with one hand and smoothly flipped them over with a pass from the other, but instead of individual cards it was a picture that continued from one card to the next.

“The journey your soul has gone through is far from normal. In fact, some would say it is astonishing that it exists at all.” She trailed her finger along the edge of the card created artwork, narrating as she did so.

“Your soul began with the sundering of a different soul, life springing from death when none should have been there.” A body pulling itself halfway out of a grave, hands scrabbling on the ground, red eyes shining in the face but also on the body. “This soul fragment may have started as just one piece of a larger whole, but something important happened. It changed. And it grew.” Hands helping the purple tiefling to stand, him walking forward and gaining additional color and vitality with each step. Tattoos, jewelry, vibrant clothes, the gaudiest coat imaginable. A bright and happy smile. “The love and experiences your soul had, both good and bad, allowed it to become a full soul in its own right, separate from where it came from.” Helping out at a circus, performing. Blood flashing along blades and becoming ice in an early taste of combat. Sitting side by side, content, with a certain aasimar. Riding along in a cart with the aasimar and five other individuals, sun low on the horizon. “And then... an end.” Blood stains on snow by a road. A coat placed on a staff, fluttering in the wind. “But not the end.”

A new arc of cards was laid down and revealed below the first, with a new artwork. “The soul that yours originally came from was brought back, and it had forcibly reclaimed your soul.” Four figures standing next to an empty grave, the body of the purple tiefling rising into the air and surrounded by magic. “At first, it seemed that your soul had been subsumed.” The group of five, purple tiefling in the lead, bundled up and trudging through a harsh winter landscape. Bodies left in their wake. “But your soul had become its own, and because of that it could no longer slot neatly into place.” Two tieflings sitting across from each other, one purple, one blue, three tarot cards suspended between them. The purple tiefling standing in front of a circular gate before eight other individuals, many of them from the prior artwork. “Your soul fought back, and it eventually helped to free itself from its prison.” Screaming at those eight from a changed body, nine eye stalks coming from the back. An even more monstrous form, torn in half by its own hands.

One final set of cards was placed. Revealed.

“Your friends then attempted to return your soul. But it failed.”  A body lying on the ground, partially covered by the gaudy coat and bisected by a new scar. Eyes closed. “It took a prayer to the Wildmother and her intervention for it to be successful.” The same body, standing, eyes open, the ground now covered in greenery and flowers. “However, your soul did not come out unscathed. Not broken, or missing parts, but... injured.” The body now shown as an outline, filled with glowing light. Light that was rough around the edges, shot through with spiderweb cracks. “The time it was forcibly shoved in with originating soul, and having to separate itself out from it again, was traumatic.” A large pair of hands, each hand holding a source of light, one angry and boiling, the other small and dimmed, but warm. “Still the same soul, but changed by the experience. Needing time to relearn. And to heal.” The purple tiefling sitting in a lush graveyard garden, surrounded by both flowers and friends. Sailing on a ship, hanging from the rigging and hair tossed in the wind.

She pulled back, resting her hands on the table. “Your soul is whole, and your own, but less... stable under stress, as it were. There is no way to know for sure, since it has not happened, but I suspect that if you were brought back after a longer period of death you would be in a similar state as to when you woke in the city, due to the healing your soul would need again. I do know however that your friends would do everything they could to return you from death.”

“They would,” Kingsley said, without even thinking about it. His attention was still stuck on the cards. The artwork, as stylized as it was, captured a certain life to it. It felt... real. Alive. But at the same time, something felt off. Something missing.

“Kingsley.”

He startled, as if released from a spell, and he closed his eyes and let out a long breath. When he opened his eyes again he saw her giving him a concerned look. “Sorry,” he said quickly. “I, ah. Thank you?”

Her concern didn’t fade.

“Something about this troubles you.” Not a question. A statement of fact.

“Are there other art cards in that deck?” The words spilled out of him. “I mean, they’re gorgeous, and they worked really well, but, are you sure there’s not more?”

She tilted her head, gaze growing sharp.

“There are if you want there to be.”

Something about the way she said that made him pause. He looked down at the cards again. Three rows.

Three names, he realized.

The last one, Kingsley. Him. His body, his soul, himself. The second, Lucien. Most definitely not him, and she had confirmed that as well with differentiating the souls, even with the strange situation of the shared body and his nightmares. And the first... Mollymauk. A different name, a different life, but according to her, the same body. The same soul. His hand gripped his knee, nails digging in.

His soul was his, and Kingsley would fight anyone who implied otherwise or tried to take that away. He knew from experience, however, that he might not have a choice. His eyes lingered on the second set of cards. Flicked to the first for just a moment.

“... maybe not.”

She inclined her head, and nodded. Her hands hovered over the cards and he made a go ahead gesture, and she scooped them up, one, two, three rows, shuffling them back into the deck.

“I admit, I am not accustomed to speaking of things so plainly,” she said lightly as she shuffled the deck. “Partially due to preference, and partially due to limitations I am often bound to. But a prior... interloper decided to facilitate as a way to make amends.” Kingsley saw a flash of another card, this time with a silver dragon, but it was gone too quickly for him to read the title. “It is difficult to judge the character of one such as him, but he was actually the one to ask for help first.” A small laugh. “Luckily for him, this was something I had wished to do anyway. He simply made it easier.”

Kingsley was almost positive the interloper she spoke of was Artagan, but that just raised even more questions. He’d known coming into this that she was mysterious, and that she had to get her answers from somewhere, but the fact that Artagan had been the one to ask her for help?

Another shiver ran through him, even stronger than the one he had pushed away on the ship. Caduceus and Jester would go to their gods when they needed help. So that meant that if one their gods (or sort-of-god, when it came to Artagan) asked someone else for help, that person was...

“I understand if you can’t answer, but. Who are you?”

The shuffling of the cards stopped.

“Do you want to know that answer?”

She was giving him an out. It was probably even a good idea for him to take it.

“Yes.”

He wasn’t going to take it.

She smiled again and set the now shuffled deck down on the table, drawing the top card and handing it to him. Moon and mirror, with the moon facing him, though with one key difference from the card in Jester’s deck - the crescent moon was strung like a bow.

Kingsley stared at the card, heart hammering in his chest.

“...I’m really sorry, but I have no idea what that means.”

She blinked, taken aback, before noticing his slightly manic grin and she burst out laughing.

“I think you almost believed that yourself for a moment,” the Moonweaver said and she graciously accepted the card when Kingsley handed it back to her, him immediately going and sitting on his hands afterwards to hide their shaking. “Unless you’d still prefer for me to say it out loud?”

“Nope, I’m good,” Kingsley said quickly. He was totally good right now, not panicking at all, nope. He got a raised eyebrow at that response, but her smile was still there as well and she didn’t press him.

Kingsley’s leg bounced as she placed the card back into the deck, having to actively work to keep his breathing steady. On some level, he knew that his perspective on the gods and faith was a bit skewed. Fjord sailed the seas with the Wildmother’s blessing. Caduceus had performed literal miracles with the Wildmother’s help (and, once again, one of those was the entire reason he was even alive at all). Yasha was a full fledged champion of the Stormlord. And proper god or not, Jester was still outright friends with Artagan.

In comparison, his own tentative explorations towards faith and the gods had felt like they didn’t really count. He’d learned about the Moonweaver, and her commandments had resonated with him, so he’d decided to follow them. He didn’t actively worship, or ask for blessings, or go out of his way to do things on her behalf. Instead Kingsley mostly just lived his life, sending a small prayer when it felt right and taking some comfort in the light of the moons. That was it. The big stuff, that was what his friends did. They were the ones who...

He looked around at the rest of the tent again, trying to distract himself. With his new knowledge he saw nods to the Moonweaver throughout, most of the decor having been subtle enough on its own to escape attention the first time around, though, okay, maybe the lantern hanging from the ceiling was a bit on the nose. It was an understated but beautiful space, and just one more reminder that he was talking to a literal actual god right now.

Maybe that hadn’t been the best way to try and distract himself.

Her casual comment of ‘something I had wished to do anyway’ spun over and over again in his head, him trying to figure out what the hell that even meant and dread growing at what it could mean. It didn’t make sense. Why-

“Why me?”

He’d just said that out loud. Fuck.

Kingsley looked back to her and nearly jumped when he realized that she’d been staring at him the entire time, swearing several more times in his head and wondering if he’d just pissed her off. But instead of anger her expression was soft.

“Why not you?”

Whatever he’d expected to hear, it hadn’t been that.

His brain stalled. There were so many things he wanted to say in response. So many things he knew he should NOT say in response. But she hadn’t said anything else yet, simply watching him and her hands resting on the table. He slumped, bringing his hands back to his lap.

“Because I’m not actually who you think I am?”

That got him another raised eyebrow, but this time there was no accompanying smile, and he quickly continued. “I know I’ve met you before, in that dream, but that wasn’t- I wasn’t even me yet. I didn’t know who I was s-so it makes sense that you were there for someone else.” Fuck, he knew this was a bad idea, second guessing the decision of, once again, A LITERAL ACTUAL GOD, but the sour sick fear that had been growing in the background was finally too much for him to ignore.

“Mollymauk, right? You said yourself that he’s where my soul came from and what if I'm just-” His voice cracked, and he hastily scrubbed a tear away from the corner of his eye. “I know he was a follower of yours, and he did a better job than any of the half measures I’ve ever sent your way, so. That’s why not me.” Kingsley couldn’t hold her gaze anymore and he looked down, eyes boring into his lap. “And maybe you were there for me, originally, whoever I was. But I still fucked that up anyway.”

A couple frustrated tears dropped down and landed on the back of his hands, Kingsley feeling like he was about to scream. His soul was HIS. He was Kingsley. He was himself. He knew who he was. He was. He was supposed to know who he was. He...

(Breaking apart. Disintegrating. Motes of light drifting away).

A hand cupped his check and his breath hitched, and then his breathing almost stopped entirely when a gentle kiss was pressed to his forehead.

“Time for that later,” she murmured, and then she was pulling back, tilting his chin up with her hand. She was kneeling in front of him, just a couple feet away and table now gone.

“Yes. Mollymauk is where your soul is from. And yes, my first visit in that dream was to see you, in part because of the sacrifices you had made in Cognouza, and in part because of a life lived in full and prior faith. But there is something important you must understand.” She held his gaze, not looking away. “You are not inferior to Mollymauk. You are not a mistake. And you do not have to fear losing yourself and becoming him, because he has already become you.”

Her hand cupped his check again, and she smiled softly.

“You are Kingsley Tealeaf. And I am so proud of all that you are.”

Mollymauk was... him?

Kingsley swayed in place. He didn’t know whether to cry, or to laugh, or what even to do at all. Instead he just sat there, feeling lightheaded at what had just happened. He wasn’t dead for disrespect. She had actually listened to him. Reassured him. Her. A god.

“I think I need to lie down,” he said weakly.

She gave a small laugh, withdrawing her hand and Kingsley slow motion flopped onto his side, before rolling to his back and staring at the ceiling. There were stars embroidered in the fabric up there. He hadn’t seen that before.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw her sitting down next to him, leaning on one of her hands. “Feel better?”

“Yeah,” he said. He could almost pick out some constellations in the embroidered stars.

“Good.” She played with one last tarot card in her free hand, just barely visible to him. A sun rising over a grave. Dawn.

Slowly, almost so slow that he missed it at first, the lights in the tent started dim. Eventually the only light left was a faint glow from the crescent moon lantern, and, to his quiet awe, the embroidered stars themselves, silver threads glimmering with magic.

“There are only a few more things left for me to say.”

He tilted his head to look in her direction. Even in the low light he could still see her clearly, and he realized she was actually the final source of light in the space, her white hair and blue skin giving off a faint luminescence.

“If a day comes where things are not fast enough, where others are not able to reach you in time and you cannot remember with your mind, remember with your heart like you did once before. Even when starting over, a home and a family will still be waiting for you.”

She glowed a little brighter, surroundings starting to fade.

“Hopefully, by the time you pass on your soul will be healed enough that you no longer have to worry. But if that is not the case...”

She leaned down, held his face in both of her hands, and placed one last kiss on his forehead.

“I will be there. Shine bright, my little monarch.”

He closed his eyes, for a single blink-

-And opened them to the deck of The Nein Heroez.

“-I told you, I’m not the one who knows. I just sent him along to someone who does, he’ll be fine.”

“I’m surprised she didn’t smite you,” Kingsley croaked and Artagan whirled around, pointing at him.

“See! I told you, he’s fine.”

Jester gasped. “Kingsley!”

“Welcome back,” Yasha murmured, and she gave him a hug with the arm around his shoulder.

“Wait, smite? Who the fuck did you send him to?” Beau said, shooting Artagan a look.

“Well! It looks like my work here is done,” Artagan said, completely ignoring Beau and clapping his hands together. “Just let me know when you need something again Jester, tah!”

He vanished in a swirl of green cloak before Beau could get another word in, and she groaned.

“Ugh. He didn't even do anything himself.”

“Yes he did!” Jester said, and she looked at Kingsley. “... it did work, right?”

“... yeah,” he said, a little dazed, and he reached up to touch his forehead. He was going to need time to process that. A lot of time.

“See! He did do something!”

Fjord gave him a thoughtful look. “Who did he send you to? You seem a little overwhelmed.”

“T-the Moonweaver.”

That got everyone’s attention on him at once. A couple of them blanched.

“... you were not kidding with the smite comment,” Caleb said, eyes a little wide.

Essek looked around at the group and everyone’s expressions. “Being sent to a god is notable, but I feel I am missing some additional context here.”

“We um. Miiight have had a plan where Artie pretended to be the Moonweaver?” Jester said.

“It went badly,” Fjord said bluntly.

“As in dragged off into the sky in chains badly,” Veth added on.

Essek blinked, then shook his head. “I should not even be surprised anymore.”

“I was pretty surprised the first time I heard about it,” Kingsley said, shrugging. “And I only heard about it cause of all the times the ship docked at Rumblecusp. I think you're good.”

Essek gave him a wry grin. “Well. I am glad I am not the only one to hear about things after the fact.”

“You get used to it,” Caduceus said, smiling. “And we’re all here now, so, you don’t have to worry about it this time.”

“True enough,” Kingsley said and he stretched, sitting up straight but still at Yasha’s side.

“What did you learn?” Yasha asked.

“Well... the main thing is she said my soul is. Fragile? And that if I’m dead too long I might forget things again. But she also said it’ll heal after enough time so it’s not all bad?” Her last words to him, about what she would do if it hadn’t healed yet, echoed in the back of his mind.

“It’s still not great though,” Beau said, sitting with her arm resting on a raised knee. “She tell you any way to fix it sooner?”

He shook his head. “She just said it’d take time.” After a second he glanced over to Essek and Caleb. “And I don’t think she meant your kind of stuff. Sorry nerds.”

“Magic cannot fix everything,” Caleb said. “As much as we might want it to.” He was lost in thought for a moment before Essek squeezed his hand, Caleb returning the gesture.

Kingsley took a moment to inhale the ocean air, grounding himself, before fully flopping back against Yasha like a cat and she chuckled, starting to comb her fingers through his hair.

“What else did you guys talk about? You were gone for a while,” Jester said.

Kingsley hesitated.

He didn’t really know why he was hesitating. Maybe he was afraid. Of what, he wasn’t sure, but that fear that had bubbled over while talking to the Moonweaver wasn’t totally gone. And maybe it was the fact that he still didn’t know what to make of things himself yet. But he also remembered the words she’d said towards the end, that even if he forgot, he would still have a family. And a home.

(An even more distant memory. Of him asking for home, and Jester saying yeah, we can go home).

He saw Caduceus watching him out of the corner of his eye, expression knowing, but the cleric didn’t push, and that was what made the decision for him. The Mighty Nein was his family. And they would be there for him no matter what.

“Well,” Kingsley said, pausing for dramatic effect. “To start, she was wearing this red coat...”

He launched into retelling, knowing that he had his family, his home, and that his heart would remember for as long as he would need.

[emerald-chaos]

Coney Island

Hi friends! I appreciate all the love and response I’ve gotten for my writing over the past week or so. You guys sure know how to make a gal feel loved! This is another little idea that came one night when I was screaming to a good friend of mine (which is how a lot of my ideas come to me lmao) about how pre-serum 1940s Steve deserves the best. It’s not necessarily my best work, but Steve Rogers deserves some love too. I hope you guys enjoy! Also please feel free to let me know what you guys would like to see me write next :) Enjoy! xo

Pairing: Pre-Serum!Steve x Reader

Word count: 1895

Warnings: swearing and bad attempts at being funny lol

a/n: this was uploaded on mobile because I’m at work tonight so if it looks funky I apologize! I’ll try to fix it after I finish my 3 night stint lol.

As the sun began to set and the hot July air began to cool, Steve couldn’t believe the situation he’d found himself in yet again.

“Come on, pal,” Bucky chuckled as he pat his friend roughly on the shoulder, “I’ve never met someone who was this upset to meet up with a couple of beautiful ladies.”

“What? And somehow be the third wheel on a double date again?” Steve quipped back at his long time friend.

Bucky replied with a roll of his eyes and waved off his friend, turning his body toward the Coney Island parking lot to see if he could find the girls they were supposed to be meeting.

Steve regretted that he sounded so bitter, but these “double dates” that Bucky dragged him on were somewhat of a joke. It was always the same song and dance. The girl who Bucky was attempting to court would bring a friend, either for moral support or to try and set her up, and that friend would always be wholly disappointed when she saw that Steve was who she was stuck with. Steve knew that not every girl had to like him, of course, but occasionally it would be nice to be as sought after or wanted as Bucky was - or at least to not be looked through by every girl he met.

“There they are,” Bucky grinned, raising his arms above his head to signal the two, “over here!”

Steve took a deep breath and prepared himself for the inevitable look of disappointment that he had become so accustomed to. Instead, as he turned he was met with a stunning pair of eyes and a soft smile splayed across the most incredible pair of lips he’d ever laid his eyes on. Seeing you made him feel like all the air had been forced out of his lungs and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t catch his breath. The only other time he remembered experiencing the sensation was after a particularly bad time that he had gotten the living hell beat out of him in the alleyway - except this time, it was a good feeling.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Steve.” You said, your voice soft and warm - like honey.

There’s no way that could be a blush on your cheeks, right?

“Well, we already got our tickets,” Bucky’s voice brought Steve back to the present, “so what do you say we head in?”

---------

For the first time in, well, forever, Steve actually found himself enjoying the evening. The small talk didn’t feel stiff or forced, you never recoiled at any of the accidental touches throughout the night, and you actually looked him in the eyes when you were having a conversation. If you were disappointed in being stuck with Steve, you hid it pretty well.

The unrelenting sun had finally set and the colorful lights of various rides and booths reflected off of the water. You had been on a couple rides, enjoyed some hot dogs and funnel cakes, and now the group of you had been sucked into one of those carnival game booths. Bucky was attempting, as usual, to show off for your friend by trying to win her a stuffed animal.

“Would you like to take a walk or something?” Your voice captured Steve’s attention as he turned to look at you. You grinned a little before adding, “It’s kind of sickening to stand here and watch them act like this.”

Steve was caught off guard, both at the jab directed to your friends and the fact that you would even consider being alone with him.

“I, uh, yeah, sure, we could do that,” he nodded quickly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

You smiled and started down the boardwalk.

This is too good to be true, right? He thought to himself. She’s obviously just trying to be nice.

“Steve?” your voice cut through his doubts. He hadn’t even realized that you made it several feet away from him and he was still planted in the same spot.

“Oh! Yeah, coming! Sorry!” Steve blushed as he hurried to catch up with you.

The two of you walked side by side for a few minutes, an oddly comfortable silence lingering between you.

“How are-”

“Have you-”

Steve’s eyes met yours as you both began to speak simultaneously and you shared a laugh together. Steve could feel the warmth rising in his face and he hoped to God that he wasn’t blushing like an idiot.

“You first,” he smiled softly.

“I was just going to ask how long you and James have known each other?” you asked, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

And there it was.

To anyone else the question would seem innocent, but Steve knew better. You had only drawn Steve away so you could question him about his friend - the same way every other person before you had done. There was a heat building inside Steve’s stomach. How could he be so stupid? How could he actually believe that someone like you could be interested in someone like him?

“T-the only reason I ask is,” you blurted, sounding...nervous? “well, because the two of you are so different. I mean, not in a bad way! Just like, James is so...cocky and loud and you’re...well you’re not.”

Steve stopped walking and looked at you. His thoughts were racing through his brain like a freight train. What exactly were you trying to say?

“God I'm so bad with words,” you laughed, shaking your head, “just forget I said anything at all.”

“You don’t have to feel bad for me, you know. If that’s what this is.” Steve couldn’t hold back the words, and they sounded much colder than he meant them to. He was just so tired of living in his friend’s shadow. The only time girls were ever nice to him was because they wanted to impress Bucky. He was sure that’s what you were doing too.

Once he noticed your brows furrow and a look of sadness overcome your face, he wanted nothing more than to rewind time and take his words back.

“Is that the type of person you think I am, Steve?” Your voice came out a little shaky, but Steve could still hear the hurt he had caused.

Steve sighed and rubbed his face.

“I’m sorry,” he started as his hands fell from his face and he met your gaze again, “I’m just...I’m not used to this.”

“And what exactly is this?” you asked, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Someone on these double dats being interested in me.”

He could tell that his words caught you off guard. You were quiet and your arms slowly fell to your side. Steve was having trouble reading your expression, but it looked somewhere between someone who saw a puppy left on the side of the road and someone who was trying to understand a foreign language.

“Just...Just forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.” Steve waved his hand, as if he was trying to dismiss the conversation.

What he didn’t expect was for your hand to intertwine with his.

Steve’s gaze lingered on your connected hands for a minute before traveling to meet your eyes.

“You’re not very good at this, Rogers.” You said with a small laugh, “Here I was, thinking I was being too obvious.”

“I-I’m afraid I don’t follow,” Steve slowly responded.

You laughed again, the sound slowly becoming one of his favorites. Before he knew what was going on, you were pressed flush against him and capturing his lips with yours.

This would make the third time Steve had felt the wind be knocked from his lungs.

The kiss was slow, soft, and unlike any other he had ever experienced. It reminded him of the time his dad told him how he knew his mom was the one.

Well, when we kissed it felt like the rest of the world melted away. At that moment in time, it was just her and I.

A shiver ran down his spine as the warmth of your lips left his. As though he was drunk or coming out of a haze, it took him a moment to open his eyes and focus his vision back on you. There was a cute pinkness to your cheeks and you had a doe-eyed expression. It took a moment for the heartbeat in his ears to fade away - the joyful screams of park patrons and whirring of machinery returning.

“I like you, Steve,” You told him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, “In fact, I've liked you for a while.”

You watched as Steve’s adam's apple bobbed up and down as he gulped.

“You,” Steve cleared his throat as the word came out as a squeak, “you do?”

That smile he adored returned to your lips as you nodded, “I do.”

Before he had an opportunity to respond, you were speaking again.

“I see you at school, you know, around town too. I’ve always noticed how kind you are to everyone. The way you hold the door open for the old ladies at Church. That one time you gave Johnny your lunch because his parents forgot to pack him one?” the smile on your face growing bigger as you recounted the times in which you fell for Steve Rogers, “I mean, what’s not to like.”

Steve felt an asthma attack coming on.

“James is nice and all,” you leaned in then, as if you were telling a secret, “but he’s also kind of a bastard.”

Steve couldn’t hold back the laugh that tumbled from his lips and you quickly joined him. This felt like some sort of twisted dream to him - you standing here, confessing your feelings to him. Never in a million years did he think someone as beautiful as you would even talk to him, let alone have feelings for him.

“Obviously I’m kidding, but in all honesty... you are one of the best men I’ve ever met, Steve. I’m sorry that any one has ever made you feel less than.” You squeezed his hand again.

This time it was Steve who initiated the kiss, holding your face between his hands as he moved his lips against yours. Your hands found a place on his waist and your bodies slotted against one another - like they were two puzzle pieces made to fit into one another. You tasted sweet, like funnel cake, and your lips were soft against his slightly chapped ones. Steve hadn’t kissed very many people in his lifetime, but if this were the last kiss he got to have - he could die a happy man.

“Ahem,”

The two of you separated to see your friend, holding a huge stuffed bear, and Bucky standing before you, grinning like fools.

“Are we interrupting something?” Bucky mocked the two of you, sending a wink to Steve.

“Shut it, Buck.” Steve warned, although he couldn’t help but grin back at his friend.

“Come on, lovebirds” Bucky teased, “my girl here wants to ride the ferris wheel again.”

You smoothed out your dress and smiled at Steve, lacing your fingers once again with his as the two of you followed your friends toward the ferris wheel.

For once, Steve was going to have to thank Bucky tomorrow.

[luckyspacerabbit]

would you ever share the background you created for kai leng? i'd be so interested in hearing it!

Hehe, yes! Thank you for waiting anon. I wanted to really think this through and make sure I was working with all the possible details of his character.

Okay, so my goal with fleshing out Kai was not to excuse him as a villain or to necessarily redeem him, but to humanize him and hopefully incur sympathy because I find his depiction as a mysterious lackey boogeyman to be 🙄 one dimensional and playing on racist tropes like the yellow peril ✨ (also bioware making him predominantly chinese + a lil russian. extrapolate what u will lol)

So here is my background for Kai :) Lots of childhood headcanoning and then some general talk about his character/why I chose certain elements as I did (such as dumping that dumb phantom blade for butterfly swords AEORHIG)

Childhood: According to the wiki, Kai is Earthborn, and from his general heritage we can assume that he grew up in Northern China (omg that's where my ancestors are from). The most populous city there is Beijing, which, if there was a spaceport or alliance recruitment anywhere, it would be there.

I headcanon that he was born to a bit of an unsteady family, where it was likely there was estrangement and unsafe conditions between the mother and father that may have created a sense of helplessness and neglect from a young age.

In my canon, Dan Hyun's mom, Hannah Shepard was the head of an agricultural research facility on Trident, and was an old friend of Kai's mom (From University, possibly).

As conditions worsened throughout Kai's childhood, his mom decided to take a chance and flee with Kai (age 10 at the time) to Hannah Shepard's science facility on Trident (Sentinel Agricultural Research Facility), where she and Kai would stay for about two years as his mom worked to save enough money for their own place .

Since Dan Hyun was already being homeschooled, it was easy enough for Kai to join up alongside her.

Dan Hyun (12 at the time) was extremely happy to have a friend since life on the facility could be really lonely-- but with all these changes Kai was having a difficult time adjusting, especially when Dan Hyun felt put off by his competitive attitude. After so long feeling neglected and growing in a tumultuous home environment, he craved external validation: homeschool provided an avenue for that. They developed their own academic-based competitive rivalry that counted towards friendship, but grew distant when he moved out with his mom about two years later.

When Dan Hyun was 18 (Kai at 16), she managed to apply to an Alliance Research Training program and receive admission-- something that was considered highly prestigious, despite her parents' reluctance. Kai had already begun to build resentment towards her due to the way her parents treated her (very preciously, sheltered, and without exposing her to the difficult parts of life) in contrast with what he lacked in family and world kindness, creating a drive to supersede her and compete with her once again, if only to have tangible proof that just because he began in a lower place didn't mean he couldn't surpass the vision of success.

After this event, they would strike up a still somewhat friendly rivalry again that continued until Kai enlisted in the Alliance at the age of 18 (his attempts to join directly at 16 failed in my canon lol, but he sure tried )

Alliance Service:

Kai took the combat-driven route while Dan Hyun was receiving training for her eventual research establishment in Akuze, meaning that in their line of work, they never crossed paths-- Though they maintained occasional communication and met up here and there whenever Kai was back from his tours.

This is where I believe his decline truly began.

Some habits, like his desire for tangible proof of success and seeking external validation, manifested more heavily in this time. Collecting badges off of dead soldiers (To remember his skill first hand) is a notable one, but I speculate he relied heavily on the word of his commanding officers to counter his self-esteem. Titles were incredibly important because they were proof. When he began to feel a loss of control which led to emotional outbursts and breakdowns, he would fall back on these bits of evidence that he had done something, anything.

The weight and violence of service combined to break away his mental strength and conditioned him to that of a soldier.

Famously, he was discharged in 2186 after his N7 designation. In a bar fight on shore leave, he murdered a Krogan (OKAY. Listen. The wiki says "first-degree murder" but first degree requires premeditation and bar fight implies heat of the moment. So IDK I think the details around this one are a little fishy. He was on leave but he was a soldier, so ? he probably just had a weapon on him? Okay, I'm not excusing him but premeditation is a bit different from manslaughter so just something I've pondered. It separates intentional killers from accidental murders).

At this point, he is formally incarcerated and set to serve a twenty-year sentence.

Cerberus Contact:

The year is 2177, and Kai has lost everything he's ever worked for. His prestige is gone, he is at the worst place he has ever been, his mom won't talk to him, and he has no one. He had even stopped hearing from Dan Hyun, the only person he could have considered a friend once.

Through a small TV in the prison, he is able to hear about the attack on Akuze, and its one survivor: Alliance Scientist Dan Hyun Shepard. In the attack her biotic abilities (Which she had kept secret for many years) were revealed, prompting immediate recruitment into the N7 Program and a contract for ten years of service. This drove Kai into rock bottom-- while he had nothing, Dan Hyun was steadily on track to uprooting the only thing he had ever felt like he had accomplished.

This is when Cerberus intervened, promising him a home, freedom, belonging, and success.

So of course Kai agreed. Why wouldn't he? He had nothing left in his miserable life and there would never again be a place for him.

Cerberus Intervention:

It's my belief that Kai wasn't necessarily "alienphobic" in the beginning. Instead, I think The Illusive Man saw a very clear opportunity to recruit and nurture a broken man into a pawn of service. TIM is incredibly smart-- everyone who works for Cerberus is. He knew what Kai needed was validation, the promise of success held directly on the tip of his tongue to drive him into tenacity and action.

Organizations like Cerberus, even in real life, prey on people at weak points, fulfill their needs and drape their ideology on top like icing on a cake. That's not to say that Kai is completely innocent-- he ate the sweets and readily threw the world to the side in order to attain more-- but it does give some perspective.

Kai in Cerberus:

In ME2 we know there is some apprehension on Kai's part about the role Shepard will play. He is already starting to feel slighted from failures with Rasa and takes even the possibility of rejection from TIM extremely hard and with violent emotional outburst. This evidences how much TIM has whittled him away over the decade of service. Kai feels as though he owes everything to TIM, that TIM saw something in him-- failing him is disproving that and accepting what Kai has feared all along: that he truly is a worthless and incapable person.

Kai and Shepard:

Kai is best known for his direct antagonism towards Shepard in the events of ME3, directly killing their allies and potential love interests in a way that is extremely personal. Yes, it is part of the job, but at the same time, it's clear Shepard gets under his skin. It's because in the end, after all that setup, Shepard is the one person who can take it all away from him.

They can replace him as TIM's prodigy/ They can bring an end to the organization that gave him everything (From his cybernetic enhancements (uh indoctrination cough couch) ) to his purpose in life. Kai threw it all in with them because he didn't see another choice.

My Canon: The End

So how do things end for Kai in my canon?

As you're aware, you can unalive him, violently. But Dan Hyun is very emotional and due to their shared childhood, I like to believe that there was still a grand feeling of kinship between them, a recognition of the other due to shared insecurities. I don't think there was ever a time Dan Hyun looked at Kai and saw anything other than her slighted friend (which is very romanticized, but SHE is very romanticized), it was just about getting Kai to see that too.

She locked him down the best she could, yelled, cried, and beat the shit out of him, but ultimately, preserved his life. After the crucible had been fired and Thane (alive ofc) attended to, she sought to right things between her and Kai: whatever form that takes. Who knows if he'll ever be able to live comfortably in society again-- but at least here, he has the chance.

Random Tidbits:

Some notes! At his best, I like that Kai is portrayed as Loyal, Hard Working, Methodical, Clever, Tenacious, and Factual. I think sometimes he can be written off unfairly as wimpy or scared, but in truth, he's very sure of his abilities and able to calculate his chances extremely well. He's smarter than fandom gives him credit for.

He has an interesting conflict between arrogance based on title and humbleness. He knows he wants to be the best but he never airs it-- like when Rasa suggests that he wants to be the leader for Humanity but he grows quiet and says to just focus on where things are at right now.

His time as a soldier absolutely affected him in ways I think sharpened him to the killer he became. It instilled values that remained with him in Cerberus, such as when he berates Bates for abandoning his squad and calls him a traitor. Kai doesn't betray-- he's quite literally ride or die.

Also? The ninja sword is super dumb because Kai is Chinese and the swords and Phantom's themselves are designed to appear Japanese in aesthetic. Ninjas= Japanese, but China did have their own sect of Assassins which I believe gave birth to Wu Ching as a type of Martial Arts? Or was drawn from it hmm

To keep to accuracy, Kai would have trained more towards their martial art techniques which focuses on close combat and quick movements, as well as the use of dual blades called butterfly swords (You'd likely recognize them as a set of rogue daggers).

That's all for that meta! Phew. If anyone actually read to the end, hey wassup, hope you enjoyed, and take most of this with a grain of salt since it's my headcanons and background work :) Thank you again for reading!

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

just because you’re afraid it doesn’t mean you’re broken.

Titans 3.05

once more into the cold dark void of the internet with my stream-of-consciousness take on a superhero tv show...

spoilers ahead.

1. i cannot believe that among the first things i get to hear in this episode with my own two ears is the line 'eluded our overdudes'. why must you give me such pain along with so much joy, show?

1.5. scarecrow stringing jason along on this path to red-hood-dom is not something i would’ve ever expected, but does kind of make sense. 

1.55. i don’t know all the details of the original resurrection arc in the comics but i like that jason, weirdly, has a greater role to play in his own demise and rebirth? i think it makes it easier to draw a line between his past trauma, the demonstrably shitty and terrifying responsibility of being robin, the ways bruce and the titans wronged him, his responses to that, the reasons he turns to scarecrow, and his final evolution to red hood. it makes for a smoother character arc rather than a one that was interrupted for two decades before somebody went oh hey let’s resurrect that kid that the audience once voted to kill and make him an anti-hero!

1.75. what’s crane giving him? anti fear toxin? anyway, crane is a fucking creep and i’m not sure i want to see a whole lot of him on my screen.

2. oh, um, heads up: there’s a long sequence of unsteady cam + flickering lights right after the title card upto the 3:16 mark. it’s a bit headache-inducing so if you want to skip, you can go ahead and do that. 

2.45. that’s... weird... why would he dream about... donna...

ok, who am i kidding. i’m going to jump right into my theory about Why Titans Makes Sense Actually because the show itself is apparently not interested in explaining itself:

a) it makes no sense for jason to be conjuring up donna--who famously did not care much for him!--in his dreams. (he wasn’t even there when she died.) or for her to be telling him don’t go or there’s still time.

b) this leads me to think that that’s actually donna, in some sort of limbo between life and death, the kind of place where jericho used to be

c) rachel has demonstrated that she has the power to link the minds of the titans across great distances--she called jason and hank/dawn for help in 2.01, she linked up everybody later in the season, projected dick’s hallucination of his father into their brains without even realising she was doing it, and in the finale, she managed to get dick into conner’s brain. she’s in themyscira now. is this how she gets donna back to life? but reaching out to her in that non-space between life and death?

d) the next obvious question is: why isn’t donna appearing in the dreams of the other titans? she probably is, but they have better reason to be dreaming about her since they were actually close to her, unlike jason.

e) but why would she warn jason in particular? does she foresee jason entering the afterlife--however briefly? does she have an idea of what jason plans to do and what he will become?

f) anyway, more trippy mindscapes and weird psychic powers, yay!

2.5. my heart clenched when bruce comforted jason post-nightmare: clearly i’ve been reading way too much batfam fic. this is a side of bruce we haven’t really been told to expect by all the characters on the show calling him a ‘psychopath’ (*cough*unreliablenarrators*cough*) and him getting jason to speak to a professional speaks volumes about the kind of self-reflection he’s done post dick’s departure, and maybe some of the regrets he has with regards to how he dealt with dick’s traumas.

i mean, just look at him when jason dismisses his concerns! BRUCE IS TRYING JASON

anyway, i have a whole lot more i want to say about this, but i’ll save it for later. 

also: LESLIE THOMPKINS!!!!

3. i really like molly--and i love that she’s a friend from before jason got taken in by bruce, the implication that they meet up regularly and that she’s a grounding influence on him (tho clearly not grounding enough to not go along with his dumbass idea about confronting a child trafficker alone). 

3.5. aw, jason. robin was his armour against everything in the world that would throw him down and chew him to bits, but san francisco proved that even robin wasn’t enough to protect him. it’s really interesting how ‘disillusionment with the idea of robin’ is so integral to the traumas of both dick and jason but in such different ways. 

4. LESLIE!!!!!!! i even forgive her office being so goddamn blue because leslie! 

4.5. it makes so much sense for titans!verse leslie to be a therapist, because this show is so inward looking anyway, and therapist sessions are a useful tool to showcase this character work in a story. besides, at least in fanfic, leslie often seems to double up as a counsellor anyway. 

4.6. oh man. i’m not terribly convinced by walters’ red hood (tho i think that may be the point--argh. i’ll come back to this thought later. have to stop getting distracted!) but he plays the asshole kid that’s trying not to let any real emotion seep through really well.

“you’d like me to punch you, wouldn’t you”

5. not sure what to think of batman’s little trophy case other than the show winking unsubtly at us and going look look - catwoman! the riddler! two face! you excited yet?! it’s like the scene from the end of amazing spiderman 2 when they were trying to drum up excitement for a sinister six spinoff by having harry osborne walk by a bunch of display cases with stuff from iconic villains in them.

... but then again, bruce does like to display a lot of shit in his batcave, including his dead robin’s bloodstained costume, so.

5.5. bruce is so soft with jason it’s killing me. beyond just trying to learn from his mistakes with dick, it speaks to his own genuine desire to balance his dedication to gotham with doing the best by his sons, although he’s often not successful with that. 

i love that titans is really playing the long game with bruce wayne, with each season and character-perspective sliding in fresh pieces of a bigger puzzle. titans’ bruce has always been a phantom of other peoples’ making, but now we’re getting the idea that he’s a whole lot more complicated than other people make it seem.

5.75. it really recontextualises some of his actions from previous seasons: the fact that he locked dick out of his security systems in 1.06 is likely his way of respecting dick’s independence and his desire not to be associated with batman/gotham anymore. jason knowing about bruce’s tracker while dick doesn’t is probably bruce trying to be more honest and upfront with his charges. bruce sending jason packing off to sanfran to spend time with the titans is probably not him passing on a big responsibility to dick (as i first uncharitably thought) but him trying to get jason out of the toxic influence of gotham for a while and a sign of his trust in dick as a leader and a mentor,

5.8. i mean, bruce is a prick, but he’s also human.

6. i think leslie is doing some good work with jason here, though she may have overstepped the line with her line about robin as a construct being projected by a man with BPD. her speculations about bruce’s diagnosis have no place in her session with jason, and if bruce confides in her, an egregious violation of patient-therapist confidentiality. 

(about the diagnosis itself... i don’t know. i can’t really confirm or refute this without a whole lot more information, and i’m not sure if the writer of this episode means BPD in the same way an actual professional might.)

6.5. i think a huge thing that gets missed out in a lot of recent comics as well as movies/shows is that bruce didn’t create the robin persona out of whole cloth. dick did. he’s the starting point of that legacy and to call it entirely bruce’s creation is blatant erasure of that. in fact, i’m surprised that dick doesn’t feature more in the conversations they’re having about the pressures of being robin. after all, the guy had been robin--bruce’s partner--for such a long time before jason. 

6.8. (and here’s the primal part of me that resonates the deepest with dick grayson--the Eldest Daughter part--that’s sort of resentful: that jason gets the therapy and softness and the learning from mistakes when it took years and years for bruce to reach out in any meaningful way to dick.)

7. oooh that was a great scene!

it’s fun to do these stream-of-consciousness live reactions, because the moment you step down from your soapbox, the episode goes right into tackling what you were just complaining about. bruce means well, he’s learning, but he goes about exactly the wrong way to help jason: taking away robin now can’t be read by jason as anything but a devastating judgment call from bruce. and iain glen really sells the moment that bruce realises this--too late--and his helplessness in trying to get jason to see that it isn’t jason’s fault that he’s trying to do this. he loves jason enough that jason is enough. 

7.5. aaaah so jason brings up the elephant in the room at last. dick got everything makes sense from his perspective, where getting to put on a costume and fight crime means approval, means being something stronger and better than you are. dick got to be robin, then nightwing, and a leader of a whole team of other costume-clad heroes. 

8. ... how did jason just walk into arkham????? this is ridiculous.

8.3. i mean, clearly jason’s not thinking straight, but betraying batman like this puts his possibilities of being robin again even further away. 

8.5. watching that chemistry experiment montage was strangely funny. this guy is looking for an antidote to fear? well, constantly mixing up and inhaling gases concocted by a mad-scientist supervillain is something only the very fearless--reckless to the point of foolishness!--would do. what’s to say crane’s not given you a formula for a drug that will keep you tethered to his every will and whim? hmmmm?

8.7. so he sought out the joker to... test the formula??? 

9. wow the “loud and clear... boss” hits different after a whole episode of them referring to each other as father and son.

9.3. waitwaitwait HOLD UP. wait a DANG MINUTE. you’re telling me that scarecrow had enough resources that he could not only have folks on the outside steal jason away and dunk him in a lazarus pit (i TOLD you that this show would bring up and dismiss ra’s al ghul in a ten second aside! I TOLD YOU) but also have his own little chemistry lab in the basement, AND have enough resources for jason to build his red hood persona???????? all of this in barely twenty four hours?

well there goes my ‘jason orchestrated his death’ theory. it was nice while it lasted. *cups hands to the sky* fly away, my baby.

9.6. a part of me is gleeful at the rushed nature of such an iconic transformation though, especially when compared to all the character work that went before it. we’re so used to getting the opposite that it’s fucking delightful to have a show that’s more interested in exploring its characters’ minds rather than battle scenes or recreating transformations from the comics. that’s taken such bold and exciting steps to fully convey all the nuances of its most recognisable character, bruce wayne, from casting an older actor to play him to unflinchingly showing just how damaging the vigilante lifestyle has been to him and the people he loves. BRILLIANT

*sporfle*

10. again, heads up: a whole lot of flashing lights between 40:28 and 42:00. 

10.3. i guess it’s the super-compressed timeline that’s really throwing me off. where did he have the time to get/develop the mind control thing from? or is it something that he got from the cabal of villains that he intimidated at the beginning of 3.02? very messy.

10.5. i love molly, i hope she shows up again this season.

11. aaaand that’s it! that was a solid episode as flashback episodes go, but now i can’t wait to return to the present.

[dmcvergillament]

Bedtime Stories [Part 1]

Fem!Reader x Vergil

Summary: Unable to sleep, young Nero requests a bedtime story. You happily oblige and weave a tale that Vergil recognizes. Nero falls asleep to the legend of the dancer and the dragon and Vergil remembers how he fell in love with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tucking little Nero in for the night, Y/N kisses his forehead. "Sweet dreams, my little angel."

Vergil picks up toys off the floor.

Nero catches Y/N's hand to stop them from leaving. "I...can't sleep without a story."

Vergil looks up from studying a blue bird plush he found. It looked oddly familiar...

Y/N smiles and sits back down on the bed to brush aside Nero's bangs. "Alright. What story shall I tell?"

Nero snuggles up to his chin in his comforter, eyes shimmering with curiosity. He waits for his mother to begin.

"Ah! I know: how about the legend of the dancer and the dragon?" suggests Y/N.

Vergil pauses as he sets the bird down alongside a black cat on a shelf. His interest is also piqued. What fantasy is Y/N spinning now?

"In a land far, far away in a time long, long ago..." begins Y/N, twirling her hands.

'There they go again with that dramatic voice,' thinks Vergil. Still, he cannot deny how his lover never fails to spark wonder in their son's eyes. Only a few words in and she has Nero's full attention.

"...there was a dancer who could mesmerize entire palaces with every step. When they moved it was like watching petals on the breeze. The soft colors of their clothes twirling around their long legs. Stories spread across many kingdoms of not only their unrivaled skill but also that of their bewitching beauty. All that bore witness to their dance were charmed. It was like a magic spell only they could use," continues Y/N.

"Were they as pretty as you, Mama?" mews Nero, tilting his head in that way that always melted Y/N's heart.

Y/N reaches over to stroke their son's ivory hair, before opening her mouth to say---

"What a foolish question." Gliding over to the bed, Vergil sits opposite of Y/N. His eyes flicker to Y/N before he continues, "Do not compare a rose to a field of dandelions."

Nero seems satisfied with this answer.

Y/N gestures for Vergil to not interrupt before she adds, "So one day the dancer gets invited to the royal palace to perform. Afterwards, the King becomes so enthralled, he begs them to stay and marry one of his sons. The dancer politely refuses and leaves. This was not the answer the King had hoped for and so he hired a famous knight to find her and bring her back to the palace."

Rubbing his chin, Vergil wonders, 'Why does this sound oddly...familiar?'

"This knight always wore brilliant, scarlet armor, so the people called him the 'Crimson Knight'. Legends spoke of how he could slay any monster and of the sword he carried upon his back. It was a grand sword said to be enchanted with an ancient magic that allowed it to cut through even dragon hide," explained Y/N, waving her hands like she was trying to make the sword appear.

"He was a dragon slayer?" asks Nero curiously.

"No matter how tall or dangerous the monster may be, he was always victorious. While many claimed to have been witness to such a feat, no one knew for certain if he had slain a dragon. After all, dragons were the most powerful of foes. They were cunning, proud, and equipped with immense magic," answered Y/N.

"Could he beat a dragon?" questions Nero.

"He most certainly believed he could. After all, he was the Crimson Knight: the warrior of all the human kingdoms. Whenever a monster appeared, he was called in to defeat it," replied Y/N with a nod.

"Sounds like someone I know," grumbles Vergil.

"Shhhh."

"But here he was faced with a strange request: to hunt not a beast but a woman. A woman armed with only an aptitude for dancing. This was not a job for the Crimson Knight. The King---afraid he'd decline and she'd slip away---lied. He told the knight that the dancer was harboring a curse set upon her by a demon. That if she was not found and brought back to the palace to be purified, she would die. Now this resonated with the Crimson Knight. How could he let such a beauty wither and wilt from such misfortune? So he set off to find her," continued Y/N.

"How could he lie? She's not really cursed, is she?" asks Nero with a frown.

Vergil interrupts, "People lie because..." He clears his throat. "Sometimes they lie to get what they want."

"She's not really going to die, right?" whispers Nero.

Vergil glances at Y/N. "No, she won't."

Y/N nudges him with an elbow. "Shhh, no spoilers."

"So without even knowing she was being followed, the dancer hopped from town to town to perform. Rarely did she stay for more than a few days in the same area. Her heart was set on adventure and she enjoyed the journey even if it was tedious without a horse or carriage. She felt as free as the birds in the sky. With her spirits soaring, she set out for the neighboring city. However, along the well-trodden path, a man appeared. Whipping his cart into a frenzy, he was approaching fast. Spotting her, he jerked on the reins and nearly fell off the bench. 'Young lady! Young lady!' he gasped. 'Turn back now! Only death and hellfire awaits at the end of this road!' Stunned, the dancer asked him to explain. 'A dragon has appeared! He has built his den inside the ruins of the castle and he strikes down all who disturb him! The people are terrified! Protect yourself and run while you still can!' Then with a crack of the reins, his cart was disappearing down the road in a cloud of dust. The dancer stood there flabbergasted. How can there be a dragon of all things? Were they not creatures of myth? Not believing in the danger, she continued onwards despite the warning."

"No! Don't go! You'll get eaten!" gasps Nero, burrowing deeper into his comforter to hide.

Vergil snorts. "Depends on what you mean by 'eat' her."

Y/N shoots him a look. Luckily, she seems to be the only one to catch it. Nero is oblivious as he is too busy trying to blend in with his pillows.

"Anyway..."

"Our heroine reached the city and was hit by a startling revelation: it was quiet. Walking through the marketplace, she found stands of fruit abandoned and carts of goods unprotected. Where was all the hustle and bustle? Where were all the people? Further up the road, shutters rattled and there were hints of movement. The dancer wondered if she'd even be able to perform here if there was no one to be the audience. Then an idea stuck her: what if she could coax the people out with her talents? If not dancing, then maybe a lute or harp would soothe their spirits and rekindle the city's vigor. So she sought out the very reason she had come to this territory specifically: the grand theatre. There all kindred souls of music and art showcased their passions. She had hoped to connect with other performers here who were as dedicated to their craft as she was. Spotting the gold rooftop shimmering in the evening sun, she scurried towards it with a renewed excitement. Throwing the doors open, she gleefully announced her arrival."

"Only to be met with silence."

"How can a place of boisterous joy be silent? On hooks and shelves, all the instruments sat idle. Not a single string was singing. Even the tables were vacant with not even a crumb set out for the mice. 'What is going on?' she wondered. Still, she was even more determined now. Picking up a lute, she played a few notes. Testing its voice, she listened to the hearty tones and wondered how anyone could have put it down. Jumping into an energetic melody, she smiled to herself. This hall echoed the sound perfectly: each note complimented each other rather than drown in a sea of cacophony. Erasing the silence eased the chill that had settled in her chest. That is, until someone snatched the lute from her hands. 'Are you mad?!' hissed a man, 'You'll draw the beast right to us!' Confused, she asked him to explain. 'Music attracts him. If you keep playing, he'll come back!' She asked him if he was speaking of the dragon she heard about. 'Yes. He has settled into the castle on the hill. Both the castle and its lord perished many years ago. The city has never been quite the same since. Now this monster has taken over and the peace in our hearts have been shattered.' The man's words sowed worry in her heart. Yet, something struck her funny: if this dragon was so vicious, then why did it only attack, when he heard music? Did music have some kind of power over him?"

"Did the dragon not like music? Why?" Nero peeked around the edges of his blanket.

Y/N fixed her son's hair behind his ear. He was already nurturing the start of a bird's nest.

"The music made him remember..." Vergil's eyes were glossed over. Y/N could tell he was somewhere else. "Remembering was...painful for him."

Not expecting a co-narrator, Y/N waited to see if he would continue.

"See, the dragon was cursed: his memories stolen from him. Hearing a melody sometimes brought those memories back in bright flashes. Remembering what he had lost pained him more than the sharpest blade. Rather than endure his past, he silenced the melody any way he could. Even if it was...cruel," explained Vergil, his voice dry.

Was that a twinge of guilt Y/N could hear?

[Continued in Part 2...W.I.P.]