#also in lust. there is so much tension just in these 8 seconds its insane

[charliemaybeghost]

the way crowley looks at him when he's eating in s1 e1 is so much like the way they look at him in Jobs basement. The intense focus.

[sitp-recs]

Do you know of any fics under 10k that aren’t too angsty? ❤️

Hi anon, I most certainly do! Thanks so much for sending this ask, I was super excited when I saw it because I’m always happy to celebrate short fics - they could use more appreciation! I’ve wanted to do a proper shorts reclist for a while so I indulged myself and went big, hope you don’t mind! Putting this together was quite hard - going through my bookmarks I realized that I usually go for angsty shorts 💀 so I tried my best not to include anything too extreme, I hope these are okay!

This became a lil monster with 40 recs (and I have lots more hehe) so I decided to sort them by genre - the last category includes light angst (more on the contemplative side) because I can’t help myself. Shout-out to @tackytigerfic for giving me a 2nd opinion and helping me polish this - and for being a darling in general. Happy readings!

ROMANCE/COMFORT

1. Sun Stroke by @peachpety (2020, E, 3k)

Warm, sexy and wholesome, this fic makes my heart soar with the magical beach setting, amazing friendship dynamics and the sweet get together with a delicious side of smut!

2. oxygen [Fic & Art] by @maesterchill (2020, T, 4k)

Tentative acquaintances become something more over a shared smoke at the balcony. Sexy, mature, deliciously atmospheric and full of promise - plus Healer Draco is always a treat!

3. Catch the Snitch (No, Catch My Heart) by @prolix- (2020, E, 4.5k)

Gorgeous bath fic where Harry and Draco just... take care of each other. The raw emotion packed here! Lush and vivid build up with stunning body worship, hot and intimate and breathtaking.

4. Thermodynamic Equilibrium by DorthyAnn (2017, T, 5k)

This quiet comfort fic gives our boys some well deserved healing through physical touching and late night companionship. Love the 8th year atmosphere, soothing and familiar.

5. Blue Sky Is Living Here Today by ignatiustrout (2018, G, 5k)

The loveliest kid fic you’ll see today - real characters, gentle longing, soft understanding. It’s a joy to watch dad Draco through Harry’s smitten eyes, as he realizes there’s no rush to live that love.

6. Gravity Centered by @carpemermaidtales (2019, E, 6.7k)

Possibly my favorite Quidditch fic, this has an original premise and amazing Drarry dynamics, casual and organic, sassy and familiar, with a perfect lil twist at the end!

7. Up The by @shiftylinguini (2018, E, 7.5k)

One of the funniest PWPs I’ve ever read, clever and charming with easy banter and delicious smut. A sweet and sexy glimpse into the Drarry married life! Cw Mpreg

8. And a Malfoy in a Pear Tree by lauren3210 (2015, E, 8k)

Sweet sweet coffee shop Christmas romance! Love the light and fun atmosphere, the easy banter and cute wooing while supportive Ron cheers in the background, what a treat!

9. Ice Snakes, Glow-worms and Wolverine Stew by khalulu (2015, M, 8.4k)

Khalulu writes the softest Drarry, it never fails to put a smile on my face. This has a gentle and sweet get together, with lovely slow burn, a gorgeous San Francisco setting and matchmaker Kreacher 💗

10. Life goes not backward by @shealwaysreads (2020, T, 8.8k)

This delicate comfort fic has a special way to tug at my heartstrings - a gorgeous tale about found family and the unexpected wonders of life. Gentle, magical and breathtaking in its simplicity.

HUMOUR

11. in charge by @bonesliketambourines (2020, E, 2.4k)

The ultimate brat Draco, bossy and confident and absolutely gorgeous with his long hair and impossible snark. Charming and funny, this packs so much character and domestic bliss under 3k! Perfect spoiled Draco is perfect.

12. The Morning After by birdsofshore, capitu (2015, M, 5.3k)

This is hysterical and so delightfully creative - Draco exploring Harry’s kitchen and charming a prudish appliance is the kind of cute, silly endeavor I need with my morning coffee!

13. The Spoiling of Sex From Enthusiastic Ignorance by @cibeewastaken (2020, E, 6k)

I’m impossibly enamored with Cibee’s drama queen Draco and his passionate missions! This time he’s decided to get some good diq, and the dialogue and mutual pining will make you smile from beginning to end.

14. All Tied Up by MyNameIsThunder (2020, M, 6k)

This is a secret relationship delight! Sneaking around gets so much better when dramatic Blaise is losing his shit to protect the Council of Serpents’ integrity! A+ faux-drama, super fun and sweet.

15. Luckiest Fucking Size Queen Alive by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (2016, E, 6.2k)

My favorite brand of thirsty and chaotic Draco; being inside his mind is such a crazy ride and you won’t stop laughing for a second. Amazing dialogue and insanely scorching smut as per loveglows’ usual 🤤

16. Sex Ed for Aurors by curiouslyfic (2010, M, 8.7k)

This is a Harry triumph, so fun and charming! Here he’s the one chaotic and thirsty, for a change - I’m obsessed with his internal ranting under the lust potion. Brilliant narrative and top notch characterization, a classic!

17. Ferocious Determination, Insufficient Deliberation, and a Slightly Wrong Destination by Faith Wood (2012, E, 9.5k)

Drunk Draco has never been so absurd and I LOVE it! This goes from hilarious to vulnerable and sweet in a heartbeat; pining Draco is a precious thing and Harry’s gentle persistence made my heart swell.

18. Stand Back: I'm About to Perform Archaeology by Blowfish_Diaries (2018, E, 9.7k)

This fic could definitely use more appreciation - I had a blast with Draco’s hilarious voice and their cute married banter! The plot is quite original and I love the 8th year domestic vibes.

19. The Full Monty by @magpiefngrl (2017, E, 9.8k)

The calendar fic we deserve 👏🏻 this is ultimate thirsty Draco being completely obliterated by Harry’s casual attractiveness but mostly by his kind heart and big smile. One of my favorite comfort reads, hilarious, sweet and so damn sexy, the full monty combo is here!

20. Aural Gratification by birdsofshore (2014, E, 10k)

This fic is a classic, charming and hysterical with an adorable Harry thirsting over Draco’s smooth voice. Such an original concept and engaging read, not to mention the rewarding shade of smut!

SMUT

21. Tense by Faith Wood (2013, E, 3k)

Me, reading smut for the dialogue? It’s more likely than you think 😂 this fic is hilarious and hot all at once, with perfect banter and clever dialogue, really a smut triumph!

22. Under Your Skin by @p1013 (2020, Explicit, 4k)

Great premise and the sexiest build up, ugh so much teasing and anticipation as pierced Draco takes Auror Harry’s control away 🔥kudos at the A+ twist and promising ending!

23. The Slytherin Urn by @icmezzo (2015, E, 4.6k)

This fic’s geniality slaps me in the face, what a fascinating concept! Redemption kink and magical theory walk together as Harry loses his mind over competent Draco doing some badass curse-breaking ritual.

24. Once Bitten by Frayach (2012, E, 5.6k)

Still one of the hottest things I’ve ever read, lush and raw and absolutely breathtaking. Dark and tender at once, it explores biting kink with unapologetic precision and I love that!

25. Matched Set by astolat (2016, E, 5.7k)

One of my faves by the genius astolat, this is a perfect mix of hot size kink, A+ dirty talk and a brilliant and nuanced plot showing how Harry navigates his post-war reality. A must-read!

26. Teeth by @amelior8or (2020, E, 6k)

This fic is an emotional rollercoaster and goes from light-hearted and casual to vulnerable and tender in a second. Hot and intimate feat scorching wall sex, gut-punching lines and enthusiastic consent🔥

27. Born Slippy by @dracoladon (2020, E, 8.3k)

My favorite clubbing fic ever, clever and sensual, a master class in UST including the drunk haze confusion and panty kink as a treat! I can’t even talk about this fic without blushing 😳

28. The Page Eleven Wars by fireflavored (2010, E, 8.5k)

Competitive boys fighting for dominance both in bed and at the gossip column’s first page This is peak enemies to lovers: witty banter, hot smut screaming switching rights and feisty stubborn idiots finally getting over their asses.

29. The Things They Never Say by @bixgirl1 (2017, E, 9k)

Angry porn with (many) feels, this feels like a punch to the solar plexus. The explosive Drarry chemistry gives way to something quieter and gentler and full of longing, ugh but it aches so good. Absolutely exquisite!

30. Sweet Indulgence by @the-sinking-ship (2020, E, 10k)

The title says it all; this is a lush and charming read, with chaotic but nuanced Draco pining over authoritative, edgy Harry 😳 steaming pent up tension that culminates in glorious semi-public smut, is your body ready?

CONTEMPLATIVE/SOFT ANGST

31. Sharing a Pack by sugar_screw (2016, E, 2.7k)

A fully fleshed-out love story in less than 3k, with complex characters and powerful feels. Raw, poignant and unbelievably romantic.

32. Still Life by orphan_account (2019, M, 3k)

A superb and gut-punching story where Harry realizes all the little things that make Draco so very different from him - and falls in love anyway. Powerful in its simplicity and concise elegance.

33. Harmony (Left-Handed Melody Remix) by mindabbles (2010, M, 5.8k)

Draco finds his way post-war and Harry meets him in the middle. Aching and bittersweet but also hopeful, with a delicious side of coconut cake, Harry in black robes and Romeo & Juliet as soundtrack.

34. Let Me Have You and I'll Let You Save Me by Frayach (2012, M, 6k)

Enemies to lovers deluxe version! Come and feast on this original narrative, amazingly clever, rich and detailed, telling us an unlikely but inevitable love story.

35. A Pain of Our Choosing by @lqtraintracks (2020, E, 6k)

Broken boys fucking through their issues and healing together during the post-war is so my jam! A+ LQT goodness, this fic is evocative and quietly devastating, but full of feels and hope.

36. Our Little Life by @tackytigerfic (2020, M, 7k)

I’ve screamed about this brilliant fic recently; inventive, poignant and utterly romantic, this fic shows all the ways in which Harry and Draco find each other across space and time.

37. the keys to your kingdom by thistle_verse (2016, E, 7.5k)

A beautiful love story packing an impressive amount of character, conflict and emotion. We are invited to witness as work partners Harry and Draco finally take a leap of faith and grow out of their casual arrangement.

38. Clear As Mud by scoradh (2005, M, 9.8k)

Subtle and heart-wrenching, the sharp and clever narrative creates fascinating dynamics between this brilliantly written Draco and poor oblivious Harry trying to make sense out of it. An all-time fave. Cw: infidelity (not Drarry).

39. fine i'll hold my breath / til i forget it's complicated by teatrolley (2015, E, 10k)

Fucks buddies gone wrong but make it soft so we get to watch as pining Draco patiently waits for Harry to get the memo. Sweet and intimate, with lots of late night talks and comfortable silence.

40. Tidings of Comfort series by @blamebrampton (2012, G, 10k)

Quietly cathartic and atmospheric, this fic is a poignant balm to the soul; such a beautiful tone, such lovely interactions! A must-read for those who enjoy church settings, honest talks and redeemed Draco. All-time fave.

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 18

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i feel like its a really bad chapter. sooo yea, im sorry :X

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : so i kept a few requests for later, and i didn’t write the chapter exactly like the requests, but its close enough haha!

Chapter 18 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I was not mad at Louis for spilling out the fact that we had sex to Niall, but somehow, I wished I could have told him myself. I felt like Niall wouldn't be as pissed as he was if he had heard it from me. On the other hand, I knew Louis well enough to guess that he hadn't been quite gentle with him. Louis has had my back for the past year and more, and although I knew he'd accept it if I decided to go back with Niall, I was also aware that he would be suspicious of him for a while. The problem was that I was not sure I could trust Niall either and I didn't want to start this relationship again on fear. I wanted to find my trust back in him before I gave him my heart again.

But it was not easy. I gripped his fingers tighter and he answered my squeeze, looking in my eyes as I asked him to kiss me. I could feel myself tear up again but this time, I didn't do anything to stop the tears from falling on my cheeks. He said he only made love to me and somehow, that awakened something inside me.. some burning desire, or more like an intense craving for him. Like my heart needed him and my body was desperate for his.

"Should I turn the light off again?" he asked in a low voice, making me lick my lips.

"Yes. And lock the door."

The house was full of our friends and I knew it was not ideal but something inside me screamed that I had to do it and that I would regret not doing it. Niall turned around and locked the door before turning the light off without letting go of my hand. I expected the kiss to be sweet and gentle but instead, he crushed his mouth against mine and let out a short groan, letting go of my hand to reach the bottom of my shirt, pulling it quickly over my head. His warm fingers quickly found my breasts and he groaned again in my mouth.

"Why are you not wearing a bra, petal?" he asked in a whimper, making me chuckle.

"I was wearing a t-shirt, I didn't need one."

"You're something else." he let out as I smiled more. "I missed your tits so much."

I felt his hands grip my breasts tight and he ran his thumbs on my nipples. I could feel them get harder with every flick of his finger and moaned as I nibbled on his bottom lip. I wanted him so bad I felt like my heart was going to explode.

"Mm fuck, remember what I told you the other day in the bathroom? I need to fuck you so hard before I can do anything else." he admitted in a whisper. “I just can't help myself."

Both his hands traveled on my stomach and I sucked it in by habit before exhaling again. I didn't think he really noticed but for me, it was a very big deal. I was allowing myself to be vulnerable in front of him again. I accepted to be vulnerable for him. He played with the buttons of my jeans and pulled on them, bringing my panties down with them too. With difficulty, I stepped out of them exactly when his lips left mine.

"You have no idea how bad I want you." he whispered, his fingertips running quickly on my chest until my neck. He wrapped his hand around my throat and my heart jumped. "So fucking bad."

The more he pressed his fingers on my neck, the more my eyes seemed to flutter as a throbbing sensation invaded my whole body. When was the last time I felt Niall's fingers on my throat? It had been way too long. He made me step back slowly and when I felt my legs hit the side of the bed, I fell and sat on the side. He didn't waste time and got on his knees on the bed, gripping my neck again and roughly laying me down. I pushed myself with my legs and leaned my head on the pillow, his fingers still on my throat.

"Mm, look at you, all naked and fucked because of me." he said in a low tone, bending down closer to me. "Apparently, everyone knows you like being choked and it really pissed me off."

He ran his free hand down my chest and pushed on my thighs to spread them apart before his fingers quickly slipped inside me. My back arched at the feeling and his lips reached mine to kiss me fiercely. He kept his lips against mine as his fingers slipped in and out of me quickly and whenever he was knuckled deep, I felt my eyes flutter and my body tense.

"You're mine." he let out firmly. "You're all mine."

My whole body started throbbing and I opened my eyes to meet his. I had never seen Niall so possessive with me and I had no idea where it was coming from. Harry had mentioned to me a few times when he thought Niall was possessive with me before we dated but besides the tantrum he had thrown when he had found Harry and I in bed at the lodge, I couldn't really think of any other moment, and even that time, it was probably just him looking after me and not jealousy.

"Say it, say you're mine." he ordered as he applied a little more pressure on my throat before loosening it.

He took his fingers out of me and I squirmed, feeling suddenly empty. I knew I had missed him and I was also aware that I missed the way he touched me but I never thought it could be that bad.

"Please, please Niall, don't stop." I stammered, squirming some more.

"Say you're mine."

I felt his thumb brush against my clit and let out a moan despite myself, making him smirk. He did it a second time and I let out a curse word before licking my lips. He was driving me insane and I wanted nothing more than to feel him inside me.

"I'm yours Niall, i'm all yours." I whispered quickly.

As soon as he heard my words, he pushed two of his fingers back inside me and curled them a bit. I couldn't believe how close to an orgasm I already was and I reached for his shirt, gripping it tight as I cursed again. I felt his thumb rub quickly my clit and my back arched again.

"N-Niall, i'm gonna cum."

The feeling of his hand still around my neck was only adding to the pleasure but I tried to postpone the orgasm to feel him a little longer. He moved closer again, his face right in front of mine, and I just wanted to kiss him.

"Scream my name. I want everyone here to know you're mine."

It should have surprised me to hear those words coming from his mouth, or maybe even trouble me, but instead, it made me reach my peak immediately and I started shaking as he finger fucked me harder. I felt myself gush on his fingers as I moaned his name louder than intended and it took me a while to get down from my high. He placed himself over me, letting go of my neck and grinding between my legs as he held himself on his elbows. The fingers of one of his hands slipped in my hair and he sent me a smirk. My lips curled too and I quickly reached for his pants, unzipping them quickly and taking his cock out. My smile faltered for a second when I realized how hard he was and pulled on his pants and boxers as much as I could.

"Please, please fuck me."

He didn't waste any time and pushed himself inside me, making my eyes close and my lips part. I didn't think our first time in over a year would be this intense and fast but it didn't matter. We both built up the tension and lust so high that we literally just fell in each other's arms. It was good, it made my whole body throb, and even after my orgasm, I was enjoying feeling him inside me more than I even remembered.

"Jesus christ, you feel so fucking good." he let out, remaining still inside me. He brought his face closer and let his lips run on my jaw and down my neck, buring his face there and making a shiver run up my spine. I squirmed a bit and noticed him gripping the sheets of the bed tighter. "Don't move petal, please don't move. You have no idea how horny watching you cum made me."

I bit my bottom lip and tried to remain still, bringing my hand in his hair and pulling on it gently.

"Just do what you said you'd do." I whispered, waiting until he moved his head up to look in my eyes to continue. I stared at him, still nibbling on my bottom lip as my whole body seemed on fire. I could feel him throb inside me and it was tough not to move. "Fuck me until you cum inside me. You can use me."

His mouth pressed against mine again and he kissed me deeply. I started pulling on his hair more when he started pounding in me harder than he ever had. It felt so amazing I thought I was going to cum again but after a few minutes, I felt him tense on top of me and he groaned near my ear, making my heart skip a beat.

"I'm yours, Niall." I whispered as he came. "I belong to you, no one else."

"Fuck!"

He pushed himself as deep as he could inside me and I moved against him to help him ride his orgasm until he went limp on top of me. I heard him pant and I let out a short whimper, letting one of my fingers slide gently on his spine. He shivered on top of me from my touch and when I heard him talk again, I felt myself tear up.

"I'm in love with you."

I couldn't talk and held my breath until our eyes met again. He raised his eyebrows and my lips parted. We were locked in my room, in the dark, and I felt like it was just the two of us in the world, the exact same way it used to feel when we were close. Were we as close as we used to be? Did that whole trust and strong bond come back now that we actually fucked?

"I'm in love with you too."

It seemed to satisfy him and he rolled to lie down next to me, his pants and boxers still around his knees and I turned my head his way to let my eyes travel on him for a few seconds. I could see very well in the dark now that my eyes were used to it and we remained silent until he finally turned his head to me too and smiled.

"You want to know something?" he asked in a low tone as I nodded. "I always cum harder with you. I can't cum that hard by myself, or with an other girl. I've tried, but it's impossible."

My lips curled at his confession and I tried not to look too happy. The truth was, it felt amazing to know that, but I felt very selfish for enjoying the fact that he didn't have good orgasms without me.

"Well then, you know where to go when you're horny."

He chuckled and I did too before he squirmed to get his pants off but moved his boxers up and turned my way, holding his head with his hand as his eyes ran on my face. He brought his fingers to my neck and caressed it gently before sighing.

"Did I hurt you?"

My smiled turned into a fond one and then a sad one.

"Not this time, no."

I saw his smile fall again and he moved closer, pressing his lips gently against mine, kissing me gently and slowly a few times as I brought my hand in his hair, playing with it softly.

"I want to be with you, Olivia." he whispered in-between two kisses. "Be mine."

I opened my lips to answer as my heart thumped hard in my chest. I was not ready for that step and deep down, I knew he knew that. He could read me like an open book, and I could read him too. It was scary but also, it felt better than I could explain. I was about to tell him when I heard a knock at the door and jumped slightly as I remembered we were not alone in the world.

"Olivia? I'm so sorry but I really need you right now."

I bit my bottom lip again, still staring at Nial and finally sat up, searching through my drawer for a pair of sweatpants and a shirt.

"I won't be long." I just told Niall before leaving and closing the door behind myself.

Eleanor raised her nose up and I could read guilt on her face but I just sent her a small smile.

"Is it Louis?"

She nodded and I followed her to the living room where Louis was, laying on a couch and clearly drunk. My lips curled a bit and I sighed again, glancing at El before going to my best friend and crouching down to talk to him. His eyes opened and he groaned, blinking a few times as I smiled more.

"You need help to your bed?"

"I'm sorry for telling him." he mumbled with a strong beer breath before I tilted my head. "That was stupid, he asked and I didn't wanna lie. I'm sorry I told him but i'm not sorry about the other things I said. He needed... he needed to hear that."

"Okay, I'll help you to your room," I just said, reaching for his arm and helping him sit up. "Come on, pet."

"Don't you call me that." he grunted as I laughed. "I hate it."

I helped him up and he stumbled as we walked. I caught him every time before he fell and finally helped him in bed, tucking him in as he stared at me with a smirk. It was not the first time I took care of Louis when he was drunk but I was not sure why Eleanor asked me to do it when I knew she's done it before, too.

"Good now?"

"Good now." he muttered with a satisfied sigh but when I was about to leave, he grabbed my wrist. "Hey, wait. Did you let him fuck you?"

He was still holding my wrist and I stared at him, losing my smile before nodding slightly. It made his lips curl more and he chuckled, his fingers slipping from my arm as it fell back on my side. I felt like I could sit with Louis and talk about what happened with Niall all night but he was too drunk to discuss and anyway, Eleanor was the one he wanted to be with.

"Good girl." he just said, making me chuckle and roll my eyes as he smirked again.

I sent a smile to Eleanor as I walked out of the room and she sighed, smiling back at me.

"He had to apologize to you, or else he would have had a bad night."

I smiled more and nodded, realizing that Louis and his girlfriend knew each other very well, probably better than they knew themselves, and after she entered his room and closed the door, I noticed Niall waiting for me by my room. His head was leaned on the frame and he sent me a small smile as something twisted in my stomach. I was looking at him only wearing a shirt and a white pair of boxers and something inside me exploded. I loved him so much it was barely bearable and my lips parted at his sight. It was so weird to love someone so much that you physically hurt inside. I could feel something stir in my stomach, something that was actually pulling me towards him, something that made me believe that he was never close enough, that I would never stop feeling this way, that my love would never fade. It was so strong, sort of like gravity, something I had no control on, and I knew I would never recover from it. It made me want to fall on my knees and cry. It made me want to literally die, not because it was painful, but because I knew that nothing else would ever feel that way. And the worst of all is that there were no words to explain how I felt.

"You okay, petal?"

What would be worse, to be with him again and lose him, or to never be with him ever again? I couldn't answer my own question and suddenly felt nauseous. It probably showed because he frowned and took a few steps to get closer to me.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Are you... A-Are you gonna stay with me?" I stammered, feeling my bottom lip shake a bit.

"Yea, of course i'm staying." he promised in a soft and comforting voice. "I'll hold you all night okay? What's wrong?"

"N-No, I mean... are you gonna stay with me?" I just repeated.

I knew he understood because his traits softened but his eyes never left mine. He wrapped his large hands on my face, his fingers apart and touching my neck, cheeks and jaw, before he moved closer. His lips were so close to mine I could feel his warm breath hitting gently against my mouth.

"Forever, Olivia. Until I die."

It was a big promise to make and I was not sure I believed it, but I fucking wanted to. I wanted it more than anything else in the world. I remained about a minute just looking in his eyes as the sharp pain in my chest was becoming harder and harder to hide and finally, he just shook his head a bit before letting go of my face to take my hand. He pulled me to my room and I followed him, letting him take the lead like I always have since the first day I met him, and when we were both laying down together in the dark again, I stared at him as I remained laying down on my stomach. Gently, he ran his fingers on the side of my face to push my hair away before he moved them on my nape and shoulders slowly, making goosebumps appear all over my body. He pulled the covers off my back to let his fingers travel on it again as I quivered in silence. I loved him. I loved him so much. Even these words seemed extremely weak and didn't do justice to the real feelings inside me.

"I love you." he whispered as he lied down next to me, facing me and staring at me, his fingers still brushing on my skin. "I'm not leaving again. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I'll never make it again. I'll die first."

I don't know when I fell asleep but when I woke up, Nial was still sleeping peacefully next to me. I looked at him for a few minutes before closing my eyes again, trying to stop the tears from falling. I was in deep shit and I didn't know what to do. I loved Niall and the feeling I had the night before was still there, making me realize it would probably always be there, no matter what I did or how long I waited. My heart jumped in my chest when he talked but I was not sure if it was because I was surprised he was awake or because of the words he spoke.

"Leave him." my eyes fluttered open and they met his tired ones. "Be with me. I want to wake up with you, like this, every single morning."

"You're... you're being unfair, Niall." I pointed out in a whisper, knowing that if I talked louder, my voice would crack. "You can't ask me that."

"I have to. I have to because I can't be without you."

"Niall-"

"I can't." he cut me.

"You realize I'm cheating on my husband, Niall, do you?" I expressed in a normal voice as he closed his eyes, swallowed hard and opened them again.

"I'm cheating on my girlfriend, too."

"Not the first time." I replied quickly without thinking, regretting it immediately after.

He sat up and frowned at me and it made me realize that even when I was mad at him, or that he was mad at me, I still felt just as strongly for him as I always did.

"That's fucking unfair. Every time I cheat on a girlfriend it's with you, Olivia, do you even see that?" he asked as I sat up too. "It's always you, it's always been you!"

"Don't say 'always'." I quickly replied. "No I can say that for me, it's always been you but you? No, you can't say that."

"Well now it's clearly not me anymore." he replied, getting a bit defensive. "You're marrying someone else."

"And cheating on him! With someone who broke my heart!" I shook my head. "And what for? To 'live his life' and 'shag all the women he wants'? I've never been a confident person back then, Niall, but here, right now, it's me telling you I deserve better than that."

"Better than what? Better than ME?"

"Better than the way you treated me."

His eyes roamed on my face and I thought he was going to yell at me but instead, his eyes filled with tears and he closed them, swallowing hard. He was beautiful and I could swear my heart stopped. All I could think about was get closer to him, cup his face and kiss him. It was not even sexual, I just wanted to feel him close. I was so pathetic. We were having an argument and even then, I just wanted to be in his arms.

"You're right." he just let out, making my heart jump in my chest. "I treated you like shit and there's no excuse. But Olivia I swear, I didn't mean to break you heart."

"You didn't just break my heart, Niall, you broke me. I was in pieces when you left me." I let out, tearing up too. "I knew I'd never be over it, I thought I'd never be happy again, and just as i feel like my life could turn good you reappear, ready to break me again. Why? Why are you doing that?"

His eyes opened and a tear slid on his cheek. It shocked me so much that I moved my upper body back a bit. He didn't wipe it, he just let it run on his cheek and my eyes followed it until it slipped on his neck.

"Because I love you, Olivia. Because that year without you was not only the worst year of my life, but also the most pathetic I've ever been. Because nothing is worth it if it's not with you, and because if I don't try anything I can to get you back, I will regret it all my life."

My heart sunk in my chest and he moved closer, cupping my face again and bending so close to me I could feel his lips brush against mine as he spoke.

"I'm sorry. I'll give you more time, I shouldn't have asked you to be mine, not yet, you're not ready. Take the time you need, just don't push me away yet."

Without thinking, I quickly moved on my knees and straddled him, pressing my lips against his. He relaxed under me and his arms wrapped around me, pulling my upper body closer and pressing it against his as he deepened the kiss. It was slow but hard and I never wanted it to end.

I knew I should tell him about the discussion I had with Dylan. I knew I should have a real discussion with him, and I promised myself I would, but finally being able to be physically close with Niall was something I had been waiting for, and there was no way I wanted to ruin it again. If I listened to my heart, I wanted to be with him. I wanted to allow him in again, and give him all my trust and love. I wanted to be happy with him the way we had been for a while when we were together, but it was not easy. Every single time I told myself I was going to give him an other chance, I thought about all the nights I cried, all the therapy sessions I had to go to, all the times I got drunk and fucked to forget. I knew life was about taking chances and following your heart, but I was not done mending all the pieces of it yet, and secretly, I hoped Niall would help me with the puzzle.

[creativity-is-rebellion]

More Top 20 Must-See Horror Movies

 Especially now we are in isolation, who doesn’t crave a good horror movie to watch? To that purpose, I have created yet another top 20 must-see horror movies, along with why you should be watching them. So get into your comfy clothes and blanket, grab some popcorn, and settle in to watch these horror gems (WARNING: May contain spoilers).

1) Ginger Snaps (2000)

I first saw this movie when I was fifteen years old, and, watching it recently, I was still impressed how it handles the perils of transitioning from teenhood to womanhood. Ginger Snaps follows the story of two outcast sisters, Ginger (Katharine Isabelle) and Brigitte (Emily Perkins), in the mindless suburban town of Bailey Downs. On the night of Ginger's first period, she is savagely attacked by a wild creature. Ginger Snaps is a terrifying movie with good character development, acting is convincing and it has a fast-paced story line. If you're into well-done horror movies Ginger Snaps is the movie for you. It is one of the best modern werewolf movies I have seen.

2) Annihilation (2018)

Drawing on mythology and body horror, Annihilation is an intelligent film that asks big questions and refuses to provide easy answers. It is Sci-fi horror at its best, boasting a very intriguing and unique idea whilst entertaining the viewer throughout the film. Definitely a must-watch.

3) Green Room (2015)

A punk rock band becomes trapped in a secluded venue after finding a scene of violence. For what they saw, the band themselves become targets of violence from a gang of white power skinheads who want to eliminate all evidence of the crime. Influenced by exploitation movies of the 1970s (and punk music of the 1980s), this horror-thriller is rooted in a gripping, grisly kind of realism without resorting to lazy coincidence or stupidity. This is again a fresh take on horror and worth a view.

4) 1922 (2017)

I learned from a great film critic many years back that your own best judgement of a movie is best discovered when you realise that you are still thinking of it many days later. This Stephen King film stays true to the iconic master with all the tell-tale signs of a Kings classic: A haunting grimness that lingers throughout the movie, a tragedy and of course, outstanding performances. The mother that returns from the dead leaves you in a crazy suspense of whether it is simply a dream, a man’s demented insanity, or an actual reality. Thomas Jane’s performance was stellar and totally believable as a farmer in rural America in 1922. He actually takes you through the movie as if you were part of him and what is going on. The message that Stephen King leaves you with is dreadfully powerful of how greed can destroy all. Definitely worth the watch, especially for Stephen King fans.

5) Evil Dead (1981; remake 2013)

Both versions of this movie are great, but I have a special fondness for the original, which was Sam Raimi’s directorial debut. The camerawork is amazing for a low-budget film, and the creepy atmosphere is eerily accurate. We feel Ash’s pain when his friend, sister and girlfriend are one-by-one changed into Deadites, and the ending keeps you guessing, and wanting, a sequel. I am quite a fan of the Evil Dead franchise actually, and have just finished watching the TV adaptation Ash vs. Evil Dead. I’m savouring the last episodes, and am sad that it got cancelled. I look forward to more from this franchise, hopefully in the not-to-distant future.

6) Get Out (2017)

This film is unique, telling the tale of young black man who meets his white girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Jordan Peele’s film delivers a chilling satire of liberal racism in the US. More than just a standard-issue thriller, this brutal, smart movie is impeccably made, as well as surprising, shocking, and funny, while also offering a compassionate, thoughtful look at race. Expect only the very best a film has to offer, with a nasty twist at the end that you won’t see coming. 

7) Hell Night (1981)

One of the best things about this movie which follows fraternity and sorority pledges who spend the night in a mansion haunted by victims of a family massacre is that it stars legendary Scream Queen of The Exorcist fame, Linda Blair. Other than that, prepare for a fun, wild ride, the way every good slasher movie should be.

8) Insidious Part 2 (2013)

I actually enjoyed this sequel more than the first movie, as it was less plodding and more action-packed, with an intriguing antagonist in the form of the mysterious “Bride in Black,” who turns out to be the evil spirit of serial killer Parker Crane, who, as we know from the previous movie (SPOILER ALERT) has taken over the body of Josh Lambert, and is fighting for control of his soul. I enjoyed seeing the return of Elise Rainier, who was (SPOILER ALERT AGAIN) killed off in the previous movie. James Wan directed this second helping even more masterfully than the first. A must-watch.

9) Sleepaway Camp (1983)

This is a campy slasher gem, where they cast real teenagers, which elevated the drama of the plot somewhat. Sleepaway Camp tells the story of a young girl named Angela who goes to Camp Arawak with her cousin Ricky. Once the two arrive at camp, a series of events/killings leads the campers to discover that there is a killer on the loose. Sleepaway Camp is not in any way intense or fast paced. However, even though many initially might look at as a “rip off” slasher film, the movie does get creative when it comes to the brutal killings and certain aspects to the film that no one saw coming. Including the jaw-dropping twist at the end. I’m not giving it away. You just have to watch it.

10) Cold Prey (Fritt Vilt) (2006)

This movie takes full advantage of its snowy, secluded set-pieces, using Norway’s harsh winter landscape to masterfully build tension and heighten the sense of isolation. As horror movies go, Cold Prey is a slow-starter, committing the first third of its running time to investigating the signs of violence scattered throughout the hotel, allowing the characters to theorise about what pernicious acts may have taken place before the hotel’s abandonment. It begins at the intriguing yet deliberate pace of a psychological horror film as the sequestered friends, initially inebriated and giggly, explore the hotel and sharing secrets, but the movie’s party-hard atmosphere bursts open at the 40-minute mark to reveal a black horror centre. Slick and stylish, Cold Prey is a genuine pleasure to watch.

11) The Hills Have Eyes (1977; remake 2006)

Even if it echoes a better film (namely, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), the original movie is still an important one to view for lovers of the horror genre.  This is a sometimes ghastly  - and occasionally absurd - shocker that really gets under one's skin. Though many critics initially despised the original outing, it has since been called one of the best horror movies of the 1970s. Scary-movie specialist Wes Craven made this viscerally-violent feature on a low budget, and some horror connoisseurs call it his best. Ultimately the "normal" people strike back with a ferocious blood-lust they didn't know they had, and the question is how much a "civilised" person can be pushed before one becomes a savage. Are the Carters really all that much "better" than Jupiter and his spawn? That is a question that you, as the audience member, are required to ponder.

12) The Dawn of the Dead (2004)

This remake of George A. Romero's 1978 sequel to Night of the Living Dead soups up the zombies, cranks up the gross factor to 11, and has a lot of cheeky in-jokes about its predecessor. In comparison with the original, out are the shrieking blondes and rampaging looters, in are smart, controlled Ana (Sarah Polley as a believable nurse not afraid to wield a fire poker) and Kenneth (Ving Rhames), who is exactly the kind of cop you want walking beside you if you are facing scores of the undead.

The zombies are a bit spryer in this film, and the pregnancy of one of the main characters is not the life-giving promise it was in the first movie. But the ending is what differs most from the original. If you're a fan of the horror genre, then this flick is a welcome, if derivative, fright-fest in the school of Romero's classics.

13) The Cabin in The Woods (2011)

What starts out as another five-band teen getaway to a cabin in the woods ends up becoming a fresh take on the trope, with puppeteers behind what is taking place, in a twisted game of Choose Your Adventure. The ending is fittingly grim, but you won’t be disappointed. Definitely worth one hour and thirty-five minutes of your time.

14) The Babadook (2014)

The feature debut of writer-director Jennifer Kent is not just genuinely, deeply scary, but also a beautifully told tale of a mother and son, enriched with layers of contradiction and ambiguity. It presents grief as a demon, questions reality, and creeps out the viewer by making psychopathology seem like something that could happen to anybody. The style of the film is not teasing exactly - it's too sad and lonely - but there is certainly a hair-pulling mixture of glum laughter and vast apprehension. Is the demon real? Does it matter? That’s for you to judge. Either way, if it’s in a word, or if it’s with a look, you can’t get rid of the Babadook.

15) Suspiria (Original and the Remake - 1977 and 2019 respectively)

Suspiria is a baroque piece of esoteric expressionism that you enter - and exit - without understanding so much as feeling. It's always fascinating to watch; the thrills and spills are so classy and fast that the movie becomes in effect what horror movies seemed like when you were too young to get in to see them. Director Dario Agento works so hard for his effects -- throwing around shock cuts, coloured lights, and peculiar camera angles -that it would be impolite not to be a little frightened. This entry stands out as it is a visually beautiful horror movie, a bright fantasy that lives off its aesthetic. If you are a horror fan and haven’t seen this movie yet, then you’re not living right. The remake is also worth a watch, something that is oftentimes unique in the horror genre.

16) A Quiet Place (2018)

This gripping, clever monster movie is one of those rare genre treats that seizes on a simple, unique idea and executes it so perfectly and concisely that it elicits satisfying squeals of delight. It's directed and co-written by Krasinski, who's best known for his work in comedy but translates his experience in that genre to the expert building and releasing of tension here. A Quiet Place is, in many ways, like an extended classic horror movie sequence, such as famous ones in The Birds or Aliens, wherein the heroes must try not to disturb packs of resting monsters.

At the same time, Krasinski uses his quiet moments like music, ranging from moments of restful beauty -- including a father-son trip to a waterfall, where it's noisy enough that they can talk and even shout -- to moments of pause. A loud noise can cause a jump, but it's immediately followed by tension and dread: Will the creatures come this time? The real beauty is the movie's primal quality, based on the most basic elements of life, such as survival and protection of the species. No explanation is given for the monsters' existence; they, like us, are just here. Images of water, sand, bare feet, crops, and plant life serve to underline the theme of life itself. A few overly familiar horror movie clichés keep it from being perfect, but otherwise A Quiet Place is so good that it will leave viewers speechless.

17) The Exorcist (1973)

Once famously dubbed ‘the most terrifying movie ever made,” this movie is steeped in urban legend, especially concerning the unfortunate happenings that occurred when it was being made. 

If you think your teen is ready for this shocking film, keep in mind that some audience members in the '70s reportedly fainted after seeing Dick Smith's grisly makeup effects on Blair. In some extreme cases, viewers even required psychiatric care. Also, the moans, snarls, and profane utterances from Regan (most are actually the dubbed-in voice of a well-known older actress, Mercedes McCambridge) amount to some of the most chilling audio ever done for film.

Thanks in part to Linda Blair's wrenching, Oscar-nominated performance, The Exorcist was a huge hit, earning back 10 times its $10 million budget (a then-lavish sum, outrageous for a "mere" horror flick). Movie historians cite it (along with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) as the conclusive end of old-school spook shows featuring Dracula and Frankenstein and bobbing rubber bats. If you haven’t watched it yet, you may have your horror movie fan card revoked.

18) The Final Destination Franchise (2000 - 2011)

If I had to list all of the movies in the Final Destination franchise in order of quality, I would say 5, 1, 2, 3, and 4. Fourth instalment withstanding, the series is a formidable addition to the horror genre, as the invisible killer, Death Itself, stalks its victims and kills them off in creatively gruesome ways after they initially cheat death. The fifth addition contains an awesome twist at the end which in hindsight you should have seen coming throughout the entire movie. Pay close attention. The only downside is (SPOILER ALERT) that none of the characters throughout the series really survive.

19) Let the Right One In (Lat den Ratte Komma In) (2008)

Please watch the Swedish version, and power through the subtitles. This is a horror movie that is tragic on multiple levels, as it deals with a lonely and bullied boy who so happens to live next door to a pubescent vampire. When her benefactor dies, we see how the main character’s life will also unfold, and what lies in his future. A must-see film that is more than just your average horror movie.

20) Terrifier (2017)

This movie definitely gets back to basics by paying homage to the original slasher classics. Art the Clown, who we are originally introduced to in the 2013 movie All Hallow’s Eve (also worth a watch), is a vicious horror movie villain who kills just for kicks. He also subverts the horror movie trope by using a weapon which was previously considered off-limits to horror movie villains, especially those with supernatural abilites (mostly, anyway). This movie also contains one of the bloodiest deaths in recent horror movie history. I like the use of practical effects over the often-overdone CGI. What is Art the Clown? Deranged killer? Demonic entity? Who cares? Its all good fun. Watch it now on Netflix.

I’ll probably be back again some time in the future with a further 20 horror movies that are worth a watch, because there are so many of them. To everyone, take care during these uncertain times.