#also if you saw me post this earlier; no you didnt (i noticed a mistake 😭)

[itsflorasdiary]

gil, fishboy

pinterest image source

[wanderrlust0]

-.-

idk why he says nothings wrong when i ask him, when clearly something is wrong. ik how he is & when somethings up but he still denied it. i understand if he doesnt wanna get into it rn or he just wants to let it go but like in this case, i pretty much know exactly what its about that could be bothering him & the only way to put him at ease is to talk about it….again! this one specific thing triggered his mood last night & i didnt even think it would. i noticed a red scratch mark on my chest and sent him a pic saying how i think his cat made the scratch. his reply was soo serious, like i could actually feel him doubting me thru the phone. i knew he was questioning if it was really the cat bc he said how he was close to my chest the other day and didnt see anything so that is odd that theres a scratch. !! i immediately knew where his mind went & that thought didnt even occur to me when i sent that pic..like if i knew that would cause him to think of this crazy scenario then i wouldnt have sent that snap in the first place tbh bc right after that, his tone & the way he texted just shifted. hes not the best at masking his feelings like me so i can tell when the energy feels different. i also posted some pics from the hangout on my ig story & he saw it later that night. i have a feeling that added to his misery and all of today it was so prevalent, even if he denies it. idc if he says nothings wrong bc its not convincing and its not just in my head. he went from msging me all cutesy & happy to immediately being more neutral & uninterested. we always send a snap to say good morning (unless we get busy but we still send a snap with whatever we’re doing). he didnt open the app, as well as reply to my snap, until 7:15pm.. around 4 was when i asked him whats wrong (bc i already knew he was ignoring me). his response was that nothing really is wrong and how he went straight to work and his boss switched his assignment. usually id let that go but not when its already past 7 and hes firsttt opening snapchat to answer me ? and i see that hes been on instagram. also.. hes always talking to me when hes either at work already, still at home, or driving to work. the only time he goes mia like that is when something is definitely upsetting him. also!.. when that happens, he will text me after a couple hrs to let me know how hes feeling & why he was silent. he didnt always do that but i told him to bc its not fair to me by feeling like ive done something or just the feeling of purposely being ignored by my own boyfriend. but yeah.. he didnt do any of that this time BC its this whole situation again. i really dont know what more i could do to reassure him about it. i feel like ive done and am doing all that i can rn. its mostly up to him now to let himself figure it out and honestly, just trust me. like just saying.. im not gonna be making that mistake that you (both) did and be stupid with it.. and neither will snow. theyre not a “friend” its actually becoming really genuine and sweet and i wont let it get ruined bc of him doubting me. i also wont let the friendship ruin me and him. i really cant help but compare it to what he did with his friend, especially since i just found out like a month ago. i also have this suspicion that it happened earlier that yr (when we were still together) than what he told me, but i dont even wanna think about that for any longer. i was told by her Husband! that it happened when they were still in school together. that means a year before. idk if i believe that. she mightve lied, but my suspicion’s still there. like i asked him if he remembered what month and he couldnt. all he knew was that it was during our break..-.- the what.…like 1 1/2 month long break. you dont remember which month..? i sound so salty rn omg i dont mean to. im just trying to understand. ill see how he is with me tm bc we barely talked today. kind of glad i worked most of the day so i was able to keep busy and not hyper focus on him ignoring me.

[t0shii]

% comforting them when they're upset

.! oikawa, tsukishima, matsukawa (sep) x gn!r

.! angst + fluff/ breakdowns, crying, etc. lightly proofread bc im lazy so sorry for any mistakes.

.! im so sorry if this is absolute word vomit or horse shit 😭 i tried my best though 😌 uhhh sorry for not posting yesterday i got my daith pierced and i was in a lot of pain after that so i didnt feel like writing anywho enjoy this 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 p.s. i was originally gonna write for mad dog but i was struggling so i went with mattsun instead sorry. also idk why matsuns ended up being so short i didnt do him justice i apologize 😩

oikawa

— always gets discouraged when his knee bothers him. today was one of those days. his coach had made him sit out of practice because he had been limping a bit. he came home distraught and you noticed right away.

"what's the matter toru?" you asked opening your arms for a hug, which he accepted, wrapping his arms around your middle quite tightly. "my knee is bothering me again 'n coach made me sit out. it's just not fair." he mumbled into your shoulder. you could feel his tears soak through your shirt. you nodded and responded, "baby, he just doesn't want you to hurt yourself. i know it's not fair but-", "but i wanna play volleyball, i wanna get better and practice." he said, aggravated that you weren't exactly on his side, still he held you tighter.

"toru, baby, look at me." he does as told, and you bring your hands up to wipe his tear stained cheeks,"toru, you can't strain your knee anymore than you already do, you know this. i know you only want to play volleyball, baby i know, but you have to be patient." he nods in agreement and you do the same, then guiding his head back to your shoulder, "i know it's frustrating toru, but you can't force it, y'know? he wouldn't make you sit out if it wasn't for your best interest. you know that, deep down."

the two of you had been cuddling on the couch, his back against your chest when you heard him sniffling again, "toru, what's wrong?" you ask softly, sitting up slightly. "i'm so useless, my own knee can't even work right. the team deserves someone better and so d-do you" he hiccuped, hiding is face in his hands. you felt guilty for not comforting him more earlier. "toru, that's not true at all." you stated, forcing his hands into yours, "take it back right now." he looked at you confused. "toru oikawa i said take it back right this instant." you said a little sterner than before.

"no." he managed to get out through sobs, and you knew the stern method wasn't going to work this time around. "toru, please. you're not useless at all, not to anyone, not to the team, and especially not to me. you're the best teammate, friend and boyfriend anyone could ever ask for and your knee just needs a break sometimes, you just need a break sometimes and thats okay. needing a break doesn't make you useless or weak, toru." you say softly, guiding him to a sitting position, hugging him closely and tracing small, comforting shapes on his back.

"you're so so strong toru, and you're an amazing person, an amazing boyfriend, you're such an amazing volleyball player and i'm so proud of how far you've come since highschool." you say, kissing the crown of his head. "you mean it?" he asks leaning back to look at you, "i always do, toru. i love you more than anything, and i'm so so fucking proud of you, but you have to know, it's okay to need a break sometimes and it doesn't change who you are as a person and it definitely doesn't make you weak or useless. he nods in response, burrying his head into the crook of your neck. you both stay like that, you whispering words of affirmations, him listening fondly until he feels better a little while later.

tsukishima

— he usually didn't let the stress of professional volleyball get to him like this, but he couldn't help it he would be lying if he said he wasn't overwhelmed, from interviews, to extra practice to prepare for the overseas games he had coming up, he was exhausted, to add onto it all he had been neglecting you and he felt horrible for it.

you knew practice was going to be running late since your boyfriend had told you in advance, so you weren't initially worried as to why kei had been coming home late at night. this night in particular was the fourth night in a row kei been home late and you starting to grow concerned. you hadn't seen him hardly at all that week, which was unusual because he always made time for you no matter what. worried, you decided to stay awake and wait for him to get home.

when the time finally comes, your heart dropped at his appearance, he looked absolutely horrible, as if he hadn't slept right in weeks. "why are you up?" he mumbled, taking his shoes off rather sloppily, uncharacteristic of him. you made your way closer to yoir exhausted boyfriend, "kei, i'm worried about you. i know you don't like me meddling with your career, and please don't misunderstand my concern for that. i'm just worried you aren't getting enough rest and i've barely seen you at all this week." you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

you knew something was wrong when you saw the tear swell in his eyes, but he just stood there awkwardly, you walked closer toward him, "kei, what's wrong?" you ask, extending your arms toward him, which he basically fell into, he started sobbing immediately, shocking you initially. "i'm s-sorry for neglecting you this week, i didn't mean to i-i just-", "kei, i'm not worried about that, i'm worried that you aren't taking care of yourself properly." you mumble, patting his back comfortingly. to which he shakes his head no."work has been too much recently, i can't sleep and i barely have time to even think. its just practice, interviews, practice, interviews i-i can't handle it all anymore, y/n." he sobbed into your shoulder, you were speechless at his vulnerability.

"kei,-", "but i can't stop now because that'll make me a failure and i don't want to let you down and the team too, i just want to make everyone proud but i think i'm falling behind." he cried, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. "kei, you could never let me down. actually, i think i've been letting you down recently, i don't tell you this enough but, i'm so so proud of you kei, so proud you don't even understand, i'm sorry for not expressing that enough to you. i understand that you feel as if you're falling behind but overworking and stressing yourself out isn't going to help you improve, kei, and i know you also know that."

"you're working yourself sick, kei and i can't stand here and continue to let that happen so you're taking a day off whether you like it or not. tomorrow will be a me and you day, how does that sound? i'll call your coach in the morning." honestly, you wouldn't have let him say no anyways, and he knew that so he just nodded his head. "look at me kei, you have to tell me when you're feeling overwhelmed. it's not good to keep things in like this, it's just like you tell me." he nods his head, but avoids eye contact, "and i'm not disappointed or upset at you, you know. but i can't read your mind, so please just tell me when things start to feel like they're crashing down on you 'kay? i'll help you just like you help me." you smile, he looks at you and nods, hugs you closer and whispers an "i love you" into your ear, which you return.

matsuwaka

— you knew his work was stressful and emotionally and mentally exhausting, so there were always worries in the back of your mind that he would become too overwhelmed, well today your worries became reality.

"welcome home issei." you called from the kitchen as your boyfriend walked through the door, though he offered you no response, which made you frown. "issei?-" you gasped when you felt a pair of strong arms sneak their way around your waist, "jesus, issei, you scared me!" you giggle placing your hands atop of his own, but you realized he was not laughing with you. "issei, baby?" concern laced in your tone as you maneuvered your way around to face him, "what's wrong baby?" you ask, taking his face in your hands to wipe at escaping tears.

"work was rough today." was all he said as he melted at the feeling of your thumbs running back and forth on his cheeks. "oh issei, i'm sorry." you mumbled, kissing the tip of his nose lightly, "is there anything i can do to help?" he didn't know why but something inside of him snapped when you asked him that, and sobs escaped his lips, he could only hide his face in the space between your neck and shoulder because for some reason he felt... ashamed to be crying in front of you like this. "please just hold me." he cried, so you did just that, shushimg him when his sobs got violent, rubbing your hand up and down his back soothingly.

the both of you stood there for a good 15 minutes before you spoke up after he had calmed down a bit, "is there anything you need to get off your chest? you don't have to tell me now or even at all but i want you to know that whatever is bothering you, you can tell me, anything at all. i know your job is mentally exhausting and honestly i dont even know how you do it but i dont want you thinking you have to carry the burden of it alone, okay? i'm so proud of you, so so so proud of you issei, i just wanted you to know that."

you felt him nod in the crook of your neck, a soft, "thank you." sounding shortly after, "of course." you responded, kissing his shoulder a few time.he wasn't sure when he would feel completely ready to get things off his chest but he felt loved knowing that you would always be there to comfort him, and for that he was forever grateful.

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

This is the last ask ill send because im honestly tired of this whole thing

I dont know why you brought up the anon hate you got when that’s no part of the discussion. Even if it isnt your intention, you’re making yourself out of to be the victim when you arent. You say you want to get better but each time something gets pointed out you get on the defensive. I dont know why you decided to bring it up, but now that you have: Piama is indeed whitewashed on your drawing. “Warm lighting” doesnt change peoples undertones like that. Compare it to Piama’s last two cgs if you really don’t believe me.

Even if you aren’t affected, you need to be able to recognize it without poc having to tell you in order to be a good ally. I wouldn’t want a straight friend that lets people make homophobic comments about me in their presence and then hear them say “it doesn’t affect me so i couldnt tell it was homophobic so thats why i didnt defend you”. If you aren’t able to recognize it then you’ll inevitably repeat the same rhetoric. Racist rhetoric is everywhere and spewed every single day so you cant expect poc to be with you all the time and take you by the hand to tell you whats racist or not. Those are the reasons why you need to learn how to identify it by yourself, be listening to poc, by developing critical thinking skills, by not surrounding yourself with only white people. If not there’ll be more unchallenged asks such as one i saw recently that pinned poc that complained about yet another white route “stupid because they dont get that lovestruck releases routes by demand”. As if we have no concept of nuance.

No one is obliged to accept an apology, especially after what happened. I dont know where you got that idea from, especially when it concerns something that hurts people this deeply. And I didn’t point it out what happened just to be petty, I pointed it out because it isn’t an isolated event but a pattern of behavior of unchecked racist comments. That was simply the worst case: It was handled poorly, considering mod viv herself never apologized and again, swept it under the rug. The apology I saw from mod wrath was vague, didnt address the situation directly, was posted on this blog so no one knew what was going on, and was later deleted. So yeah she can apologize ten times and it still doesn’t mean we have to accept it. Especially if it’s that catastrophic because it looks like its more about saving face rather than feeling remorse, even if she did feel bad. You’re too eager to call it just “a mistake” and pin me as the unreasonable one.

And I want to ask you, have you truly seen with your own eyes an interaction where someone said to the other “if you like vinca you’re racist” and was completely serious?Or have you heard it from someone else saying that they were told that? Because considering that other anon watering down a woc’s criticism of lovestruck as “she doesnt like white people or this blog” then yeah i wouldn’t trust anything else coming from their mouths. People are getting too pressed over the millionth white woman in the app. Hell even if it happened, it’s probably what, one, two people? But you’re lumping all of us together as if its been a wave of saying that. The valid criticism surrounding Vinca is interconnected with Nahara’s release (one of the few dark-skinned women in the app) considering people kept saying they’d rather have a Vinca route when Nahara’s was announced. They’re not even willing to support it just because they want Vinca’s and that sends a message to voltage. So it simply doesnt boil down to “well its a difference in personalities”. Im gonna go as far as to say that if a woc had the same attitude as Vinca, people wouldnt be frothing at the mouth for her or they’d delve into the realm of fetishizing (as some people are bordering the line with Piama). But thats a whole other topic. And since people want to act stupid: all of the white characters in lovestruck are white because voltage made them that way. They could’ve quite easily made them a poc, but they rarely do. Think about what that means then, if youre really trying to defend yourself by saying “well they put out whats popular”

Lastly, you should really evaluate the content and beliefs you put out when racist people are still comfortable following and interacting with you. This is why i want this discussion to be public: your followers need to read this and apply it to themselves. Because considering the amount of anon hate you said you got yesterday towards the other blogger, theres a bunch of your followers who need to get off their phones and learn to care about other people and stop being racist assholes.

Believe me, I’m tired of it as well.

I brought up the anon hate because I didn’t want you to wonder why I was posting your asks in this form.

And no. Piama is not whitewashed. I took a dropper tool and took the color directly from her sprite, and if you’d looked at my blog, you would’ve seen that I sent screenshots as proof in response to that ask. But you obviously didn’t, so I’ll send them here again. (1. Without lighting. 2. With Lighting.)

If you still don’t believe me, you’re welcome to call me on Discord and I’ll share my screen and show you the entire process. And as an artist: You’d be fucking surprised what lighting does to colors.

Well, yes, I need to be able to recognize it indeed. The thing is: I can’t always. I try my best on this, and there will be moments and issues that will come up, mistakes I will make because I’m not perfect and not a machine. And in those moments, I’d love to have a friend that affectionately slaps me and says “JD, that was shit.” So I can apologize and notice it the next time. I have had multiple friends be transphobic to me in certain ways. I’ve informed them about it. They apologized and haven’t done it since. We’re still friends to this day. I do try to educate myself on racism and put in some work. I don’t expect POC to do all the work for me and explain to me how to be an ally correctly, and still - I hope they help me just as I help my cis friends with trans stuff. I can’t magically change all my behaviors and overcome internalized societal racism with the snap of a finger. If I could, I fucking would have already done it multiple times. The way it is, I’m working on it. Again - I’m sorry I didn’t point out the racist comment in the ask. I should’ve done that, and I’ll make sure to do it in the future.

You’re right no one is obliged to accept an apology. You’re right this hurts people deeply. And as I said - Mod Wrath apologized three times, including one on her personal blog which was a lot less vague. Mod Viv also apologized - to the person in question, in private. Just because you didn’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. And the thing is - if you refuse to accept her apology, that’s one thing and fully your right. And the thing is: If an apology is not going to make you forgive her, if ten are not, what do you need in order to forgive? Will you never forgive? Will you always argue it’s going to be an apology to save face when you don’t know the fact she does feel remorse? How will you see that she does?

I did hear the Vinca thing from a friend of mine. Whom I trust. Because seriously, why would you make things like that up? Who would even get the idea? I’m against the idea of believing my friends would lie to me for attention or whatever. And yeah, the criticism of that anon was unfitting - I’ve visited the blog they claimed was doing that and I found nothing of the sorts, so that comment was unfitting unless I missed something. I never intended to say that it’s all of you saying that. I intended to say that some people are handling the issue wrong. I’m sorry it came off that way. I do believe though that it’s people’s full right to say they’d have preferred Vinca over Nahara. I would’ve preferred Vinca. I still read Nahara tho. However, it’s not yours to dictate which routes other people have to support and which not. I will however agree with you that people should give Nahara a chance - it’s quite the sweet story. And I for my part would enjoy a POC Vinca just as much as a white one. (Also, side note, you’re making it appear as if everyone would either fetishize or rage over her, which is very much putting all of the “white” fanbase into the same bag, the same thing you critizised me for earlier. It’s understandable from a psychological point of view, tho, so I’m not gonna comment further.)

Yeah, Voltage makes the characters white, and that’s an issue people can only fix by demanding more POC in the ask posts and comments. Which many do, btw. They put out what is popular indeed, they put out what is demanded, and I fucking demand more POC. I want it. They could’ve made so many LIs POC and they haven’t and I’m fucking unhappy about it too! I’m not even trying to say anything else.

Yes, making this public to arouse thinking is a good policy. The followers need to read this indeed. And we didn’t get anon hate for the other blogger. We got anon hate towards us. Tons. Comments that went as far as telling mods to kill themselves. And while I agree with lots of the things you say - some of the ways you’re acting actively spark this type of hate. There is being loud about the issues you face, and then there is calling people racist assholes based on a comment they made instead of talking to them personally and telling them that’s not okay, giving them the chance to improve themselves instead of always having them stamped as a racist. Just because you’re the one who’s hurt, the one who’s morally correct, does not mean anything you say or do is good behavior. 

You told me I whitewashed Piama when you, with a minute of research, could’ve found proof I didn’t. You obviously wanted the internet to see, maybe hoped I’d get exposed? Could I get an apology for that? And I promise, I’ll accept it because I’m willing to believe you’re a good person.

Summary of everything:

You’re right with lots of things.

I behaved wrong and I’m sorry.

Lovestruck has an issue with racism that we need to change together. 

Together. Without toxic behavior from any side.

- Mod JD

[babysizedfics]

bee i. dont have the capacity to read back sjdhs i forgot to ask earlier but can u like summarize what happened? 🐝

oh boy oh boy okay okay here i go........ below the cute bc its long and also theres these warnings

tw: swearing (censored), arguments, cyberbullying

roman was in middlespace and put vee in baby jail (his beanbag chair that she is too weak to escape without help) - but later on he did post that he helped her up when she needed the bathroom and when she returned she crawled right back into it

vee went on the blog complaining about baby jail and claiming she was going to share family secrets until roman let her out. she shared that despite saying he doesnt like baby shows roman sometimes watched peppa pig with her and seems very interested in the show even when he denies it

vee claimed to be big and scary, which cowboy anon countered by saying she was a cute little baby. vee argued again that she was a grownup but cowboy anon countered that she can't possibly be a grownup if she's wearing a pullup

then vee playfully (while half regressed and not quite aware) argued that actually she wears pullups when she is big as well, so since she is wearing a pullup now that proves she is big and scary

cowboy anon quickly jumped onto that with "hahaha wait, you still have your little accidents when you're big? ... if you have a potty accident when you're a big scary kitty, do you still need your mama and papa to change your pullup for you? xD"

vee quickly realised her mistake and posted "m think i shard th wrong secet"

but cowboy anon kept going. vee replied to one of their asks with "cotton candy" - which is her and romans safeword they use when roman is teasing or tickling her, but she didnt realise that no one else would realise thats what that phrase means, so cowboy anon didnt realise that was her asking them to please stop teasing her bc it wasnt fun anymore

so cowboy anon said "cotton candy? is that how pink your little cheeks are right now? xD lol, it's a good thing you have your pullup when you're stuck in baby jail- even thought you're too itty bitty to get out all by yourself, you'll be safe if you have another little potty accident when you're stuck in there!"

at this point (off the blog) vee started crying and shaking, and roman noticed and asked what was wrong. when he saw what had happened he became incredibly angry, and its made wors by his middlespace because he cant control his emotions when he feels like a teenager:

"COTTON CANDY IS HER F*CKING SAFEWORD YOU A**HOLE!!"

"Are you kidding?!! NO she’s not f*cking okay, she’s crying because you were bullying her! I told you to not f*cking do that to her I told you!!!"

"You were literally LAUGHING at her for something she doesn’t have control over and she’s super insecure about! Why the f*ck do you think she’s never mentioned it before?! That was literally the worst, sh*ttiest thing you could do!"

"She’s terrified of you now, congratulations a**hole"

he also acted out against anons who were simply asking if vee was okay, but he tried to apologise through his rage. he said he was going to find patton to sort this all out

at first roman was telling patton what happened while logan and janus tried to calm vee down (yes, janus was visiting during this) but patton realised he couldnt be calm about this situation without his baby so him and logan swapped places - ro and logan deciding what action to take and janus and patton looking after a shaken vee

this is the first time janus learns about 1) the baby blog, 2) the fact that vee has accidents even when she's not regressed, and 3) the fact that vee was cyberbullied for months.

janus was infuristed to learn that someone would hurt vee like this, especially without him knowing, so he was driven to make his first post on the blog:

Hello, Janus here. He/him pronouns if you should, dare I say, perceive me.

You may have heard of me, you may not have. This will be the only time you will hear directly from me�� or perhaps it won’t. Who’s to say.

Though I for one would like to say this: If any of you ever hurt my child again, there will be absolute bloody hell to pay. - 🐉

Since then it has mainly just been followers sending their support for vee.

another notable thing is patton told the cowboy anon to go and think about what theyve done (in true dad style lol) ans he said in response to a question about whether they had blocked cowboy anon:

That’s what Roman and Logan are discussing, kiddo. Vee has said she wants to think about it, but we’re debating whether this is a serious enough situation where she might not be able to make the decision for herself… I’m sure whatever we decide Logan will keep everyone informed! - 🐶

And..... that's all folks!

[blkmxrvel]

To Kree or Not To Kree

Pairing: Carol Danvers x Romanoff!Reader; Natasha Romanoff x LittleSister!Reader; Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff (brief but there!)

Words: 2222

Request: May I please request a Carol Danvers x fem!reader where the reader is really affectionate, but Carol isn’t really cuddly because she’s not used to physical contact? Like, the reader really always wants to kiss/hug Carol but doesn’t cuz she doesn’t want to make Carol uncomfortable? But when Carol initates small bits of affection, like hand holding, the reader gets really happy, and it kinda makes Carol guilty cuz C feels like she doesn’t give R enough love. Sorry if this is confusing I❤u!!!

Summary: You want touch, Carol doesn’t. Carol loves you, you love Carol more. Natasha stands up for her little sister.

Warnings: Carol is a bit of an asshole but means no harm, Natasha is a #mamabear. Angst-ish, but fluffy nonetheless.

A/N: what????? madi managed to post a request???? bitch ik! im sorry it’s taken me so long I was in a bit of a rut there! but iam back and I really like this one. I sorta kinda tried a new writing style? If yall like it lmk. Enjoy!

Everyone says opposites attract, and with you and Carol, it’s quite obvious.

You’re the kind of person who thrives off of human contact and affection. You love anything that involves contact, hugging, holding hands, high fives, cuddling, the whole 9 yards. It’s what gave you the euphoric feeling that everyone craves.

Carol is literally the exact opposite. She stays away from physical contact as much as possible

She doesnt understand the need for it, she wants her space. She doesnt need to….interlock fingers with yours to prove that she loves you. She may have been human, but technically, her wiring was still Kree.

And do you really think they allowed measly… mortal things like hugging and cuddling to slide?

…

That’s what I thought.

You never made a big deal out of it, though. You knew that was just Carol, and you didn’t wanna be the kind of girlfriend that always nags and is never satisfied.

Don’t get me wrong. You’ve tried. Like that once time at the pier.

It was date night, you and carol, and Natasha and Wanda. It was group date:movie on the beach followed by street food and a walk on the pier.

“Group photo!” Everyone huddled together as Natasha stretched her arms to hey everyone in the photo.

You stood by your girlfriend smiling wide, you took a regular photo and then a silly one. You saw Wanda stand on her tiptoes to kiss Natasha on her cheek, so you figured you would do the same to Carol.

I mean…Natasha sure as hell got a kick out of it. And you and Carol were just as much in love and they were.

So, standing on your toes when Natasha went to take another picture, you pressed your lips to Carol eyes.

Big mistake.

Carol froze up, you could’ve sworn she was about to have a seizure with how tense her body got.

“You alright?” Thinking that you crossed a boundary.

“Yeah, Babe. I’m fine.”

You brushed it off and told yourself you were overthinking.

But you weren’t.

For the rest of the night, Carol basically avoided any contact with you, she didnt hold your hand, kiss you on your forehead. None of it.

You chalked it up to her maybe not being comfortable with PDA. You could get with that, I mean…it makes sense. She grew up in a time where people weren’t so open about two women loving each other, and a lot of people today still aren’t it made sense.

But then….Carol not only didn’t show you affection outside, but inside as well.

Everytime you initiated a cuddle session, she would always make some lame excuse “oh, it’s too hot” or “you’re crushing my bladder baby” and she would always play it off.

That happened a lot, like a lot, a lot.

So eventually, you let it go. You didn’t try to hug her, or hold her when she had a bad day. You knew she wasn’t going to hold up or rub your back if you came back from a particularly bad mission that left you with a nightmare. You knew that you weren’t ever going to have that. But you loved Carol, so you were able to deal.

Not being able to be intimate (not sexually) with the one person you loved most took a toll on you, of course it did.

Everyone could see it, especially Natasha.

Nat was your big sister, she was always the one who noticed even the smallest bit of a change in you.

So you bet your bottom dollar that Natasha heard the sigh you let out when she hugged you longer than usual.

This past mission was….brutal, to say the least. You had made it out by the skin of your teeth, broken toe and bruises and scratches everywhere, but alive nonetheless.

Of course, Carol was relieved that you were alive…and she told you that. But sometimes actions speak louder than words. All she gave you was a little smile and peck on the lips. There was no bruising kiss, bone crushing hug. But, you were used to it.

Natasha though, quite the opposite.

As soon as she saw you, her little sister, walk through the compound doors, she gave you the biggest hug.

All you could do was hug back, let out the biggest sigh, and with that came tears. It had been so long since you’d been hugged so passionately. Since someone’s love for you was shown through body movements and physical contact.

Natasha noticed how you were reluctant to pull away, and how when you did. You looked drained, albeit refreshed.

She knew the mission was tough but this was something else. She knew how you looked when it’d been awhile without physical reassurance.

“When was the last time Carol gave you a hug? Held you? Anything?”

And when you couldn’t give a solid answer let alone a recent one, Natasha was ready to rip off a head. You calmed her down of course, saying how it was okay, but She wasn’t having it.

“Why don’t you just tell her how much hugging and affection means to you? You don’t deserve this.” Natasha huffed and crossed her eyes, eyes sad eyes looking into yours.

“Because it’s who she is, Nat.” You tried to explain. “She doesn’t do hugs or late night cuddles. That’s just her.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Yeah? Well you do hugs, and kisses and holding hands and late night cuddles. That’s just who you are. Why are you the only sacrificing and making changes to who you are, when she’s living fine and dandy?” She threw her hands up, eyes wide and expectant with anger.

“Why is she perfectly sane and you’re losing your mind, hell yourself? And why the fuck didn’t you tell me about this earlier?”

Natasha was pissed yes, but it was coming from a place of love. And you knew you needed to hear it.

“I- I don’t know. I just love her and I didn’t wanna make her uncomfortable.”

She sighed. Placing her hands on your arms, rubbing up and down. You smiled. “That’s not love, Y/N/N. You can love Carol all you want, but you don’t love yourself if you’re willing to allow yourself to be hurt like this.”

Natasha was right, she knew that. And she also knew that you weren’t going to say anything to Carol directly. So she took upon herself, as she should.

You slept in between Natasha and Wanda that night. Sandwiched in between your two favorite people family members. Don't…. Don’t tell Tony that.

.

The next morning, Carol jumped up at the sound of banging against her door. It was still dark outside, she didn’t even hear birds chirping yet. Who in the world could that be?

“I don’t care if your decent or not Danvers, I’m coming in.”

The door opened and in walked Natasha romanoff, still in her pajamas, but a wicked look on her face. She sat in the chair facing Carol’s bed, faced hardened and eyes raging.

“Nat what the-”

“We need to talk about Y/N.”

Carol’s eyes widened, sitting up immediately. “I- Is she alright?”

“No, thanks to you.” Natasha raised her eyebrows, attitude spewing from her body language. Spicy.

“What are you talking about?” Carol rubbed her eyes, it was too early to be dealing with yelling and accusations.

“Why haven’t you hugged her? Or kissed her? Or held her after her worst missions? Or told her it was going to be alright when she wakes up screaming from nightmares? Because I’m sure she does. We all do. But unlike Y/N, we have someone to calm us down and make is feel safe? Do you even love her?”

Carol scrunched her eyebrows up at that. “Of course I love her why are you asking that?”

“Are you sure?” Natasha tilted her head. “Because if you did, you would see how tired and sad she looks. How all she wants is a hug and kiss everyone once and a while from her girlfriend! How she just wants to hold your hand when you pass through crowds because they make her nervous and she doesnt want to get lost!”

Carol stuttered. What was Natasha talking about?

“She wants to feel loved. Because actions speak damn louder than words. And you telling Y/N that you love her means nothing if she doesn’t feel it.”

Natasha is pacing around the room now, rage fueling her words. This was for her sister.

“God. She sacrificed the one thing that grounds her the most because you are ‘comfortable’ with physical contact.” Air quotes. “Well too damn bad, Danvers. Sometimes we gotta feel uncomfortable to make the one we love comfortable. And it isn’t even unreasonable, its human! And before you spew that Kree bullshit at me, you have your memories back, and all the feelings that come with it. You know what it’s like. Y/N hasn’t been hugged or held in weeks. She thrives on that. That’s why she probably almost died! Because she just couldn’t think, her body didn’t have enough energy, enough…love to get out of their sooner.” Natasha wiped her eyes, red and puffy eyes before looking at her sisters girlfriend. Her voice cracked all through her rampant speech.

“So before you say, you love her. Do you actions show it? She may be here now, might he huffing it and powering through. But a person can only handle so much before they break. And I’ll be damned if I let you break my sister. So shape up, or ship out, Danvers. My sister comes first.”

And with that…Natasha was gone.

Wow.

Carol just sat in her bed, hair still messy and eyes red and teary.

What kind of girlfriend was she? Natasha was 100% right. She didnt give you enough love, and she feels like a complete ass for not caring. She knew what she needed to do.

The rest of the day went as Normal. You had no idea about the whole Natasha/Carol debacle. And it stayed that way.

You woke up, in a….surprisingly not empty bed. Natasha and Wanda were at your sides, trying to hold in their giggles as they watched TV to not wake you.

Spoiler alert: didnt work.

Natasha asked how you’re feeling, to which you said “better than ever.” They both frowned at that answer. They didn’t even want to ask when was the last time you and Carol slept in the same bed.

You all went your separate ways. It was Sunday, you had training and a debriefing to prepare yourself for. But you needed to shower first. Mentally, you were refreshed, being squished because two bodies and snug like a bug in a rug really gave your mind a boost.

You were sad that it wasn’t Carol on either side of you, but you didn’t dwell too much on it. Not a good idea to think too much.

You walked towards your room, turning the knob to get your things to shower.

You nearly jumped when you saw a disheveled Carol on your bed. Red eyes and a look of pure guilt when she saw you.

“Carol, is everything alright?” She stood up and walked over to you. She played with her hands as she tried to find the right words.

“I just- I.” You reached out to place your hands onto Carol’s, immediately pulling your hands back when you registered just who was standing in front of you.

Carol broke at that. Tears now freely flowing from her eyes as she covered them with her hands.

“You’re scaring me, Car. What’s wrong?” She pulled her hands down and stared at you, the tears never stopping.

Suddenly, you felt yourself being pulled forward and warm, strong arms coming around your waist.

It was an odd feeling, a new one, and it took you a minute, but then you realized.

This is a hug, Carol is hugging you. Oh my god. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for.

You wrapped your arms around Carol’s middle, squeezing tightly as you laid your head on her chest. She squeezed harder, still crying, while words fell from her mouth.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’ve been the worst girlfriend ever. I put myself before you and I let you not put yourself first. I should’ve hugged you everyday, and kissed you on your forehead when you were sleepy and- and held your hand when were in crowds and let you lay on me when you were scared. I’m so sorry. You’re only human and I denied you of the one thing you needed most. Please forgive me.”

You didn’t let go of Carol, or say anything else. You just squeezed harder, your arms coming to wrapped around her neck, as she pulled your body even closer.

Tears sprang to your eyes when you felt her lips press to your forehead.

Was this a dream?

“This was all you wanted and I never gave it to you. You never go without it again I promise, I love you. I love you and I’m gonna show you. No more Kree Carol, Human Carol from now on.”

You placed a kissed on Carol’s neck, smiling when she sighed in relief.

This was all you wanted, and you finally got it. You’re only human.

[mochiyoonfi]

Charlie Puth Uses BTS for Clout... Again

In 2018, all of Jungkook’s hardcore fanboying came to a peak and he shared a stage collaboration with Puth, singing his song ‘We don’t talk anymore’. Then after this, all mention of BTS was wiped from Charlie’s twitter to never see light of date again and no further updates of the collab or opportunities that may have arisen.

So what happened?

Charlie actually has an automatic thing on his twitter, deleting every tweet thats a year old. 

SO BEFORE I GET INTO THIS, EVERYONE KNOW THAT CHARLIE ISNT WIPING ANY MENTION FROM BTS FROM HIS TWITTER.

2015

It began in 2015 when BTS twitter uploaded a video of one of Charlie’s collaborations with another artist, however, it highlighted Charlie's voice.

2017

Jungkook uploaded via his alias, JK, a cover of Charlie Puth’s single with Selena Gomez, We Don’t Talk Anymore. 

Only hours after this was uploaded to twitter, Charlie Puth saw this and listened to it, eventually retweeting it with the words ‘Love this Jungcook’. It was praise, even if it was mispelt. His mispelling was/is ignored because everyone is human and therefore makes mistakes. (This tweet was deleted before the one year erased it, however it can be argued it was because of the possible offense that may be caused by the mispelling of Jungkook’s name.)

Puth tweets ‘I really like BTS’ music’.

BTS Twitter, ever quick to respond, tweets ‘We really like Charlie Puth’s music.’

On a radio interview, Charlie references BTS and his earlier Jungkook mispelling. "I think [BTS] are a fantastic band and I want to meet them in person one day. And apologize to Jungkook for mispronouncing his name." 

The day after, a second cover by BTS is dropped of ‘We Don’t Talk Anymore’ by Jimin and Jungkook.  (Charlie doesn’t respond but he also DOESN’T HAVE to)

Charlie tweets ‘Yo @/bts_twt..DMs!!

There was no follow up on this and we still don’t know what happened...

2018

An hour after Puth released his music video for ‘The Way I Am’, Puth tweets ‘jungkook look’ and links his video

I can’t find if BTS ended up responding to this, although it seems they didn’t. Jungkook did however in an MTV interview, say this was his favorite song.

Jungkook has made various comments about Puth in interviews and ARMY’s have dubbed him ‘Charlie Puth’s Biggest Fanboy’.

Then they had a stage show together of ‘We Don’t Talk Anymore’ With JK singing Selena’s parts, and the two young men seemed to enjoy themselves, with Charlie smiling widely the whole time.

2019

All mention of BTS from Puth’s twitter is cleaned and ARMY is furious. They however, don’t take into notice the fact that ALL of Charlie’s tweets from the year are gone. One remains of BTS saying ‘This was fun’ with a link to Jungkook and Charlie’s live stage collab.

2020 (July)

Puth finally responds to the amassed hate brought by Toxic ARMY.

//“I don’t usually pay any mind to things like this, but something has to be said. This dangerous, toxic, internet screaming match between ‘fandoms’ has to stop. I’m 28 years old, so it doesn’t really mean anything to me when some person I don’t know writes a nasty message to me...”

“...saying things like “I used BTS for clout”. I don’t know what that means- I love those guys and they are super talented.”

“But what I do know is that 10 years ago, language like this directed towards me would’ve affected me deeply in a very negative way. And I’m thinking about all the other younger kids on twitter seeing stuff like this on a daily basis.”

“ It may sound cliche, but please be nicer to each other on here. No more screaming about made up nonsense. It does nobody any good. We all need to love each other MORE THAN EVER RIGHT NOW. “//

After this tweet, many ARMY’s saw that they had wronged the singer and apologized for their malicious words. Many apologized for the others in the fandom who misrepresented BTS through their unkind words.

2020 (August)

SO Yoonfi, WHY are you talking about this if it’s been resolved?

Well. After the release of BTS’ new song ‘Dynamite’, which has gone completely viral breaking the record for most views in 24 hours at 101 million.

After this, Charlie uploaded a tik tok. To be more specific, a cover. A cover of the new BTS song. Since there is a current challenge of dancing a cover of the song, which BTS Tik Tok, (I’m thinking it’s Jhope) has commented on various videos of these.

Why Is this a problem Yoonfi? WELL. Charlie didnt end up crediting BTS AT ALL. On the tik tok it says, Original sound by Charlie Puth. Nothing else. No credit at all to BTS.

(^^This photo was sent to me by a friend as I don’t own tik tok. She told me she doesn’t need to be credited. Thanks ILY)

So I actually didn’t see TOO much wrong with this. Like, maybe he forgot..?

I screenshotted these from his twitter, instagram and Tik Tok where he uploaded them. If you look closely, you’ll notice NONE of these uploads of the cover have any mention of BTS or Dynamite. 

If he didn’t see the point, then I’ll explain it. 

Not all of Charlie’s fans will listen to BTS and vice versa. This may mislead, and it has, misled his fans into thinking that this is Charlie’s original song, and that he will upload a new song of this soon. 

It’s unfair to your fans to not tell them it’s not yours.

Now, a month after he addressed ARMY’s hate on him, will he have to speak out again?

COMMENTS ON THE POSTS

[kaazzzyy]

Kengan Omega One shot series : Introduction

Hi, everyone ! 

Sooo, I thought about writing some Kengan Omega stuff and finally came with an idea : making connected one shots with a female reader as she interacts with Kengan’s characters. All one-shots will be posted according into chronogical order and occurs during Omega. I hope you will enjoy them !

(Reader’s name is not defined so you can call her by any name you like. However, her gender and appearence are fixed by myself ! )

Nervousness and anxiety. And maybe a little bit of determination...

That's all what's running through her at this very moment.

Her tiny form is standing in front of the not-so-impresive building she was searching for : The Yamashita Trading Co. Her watering eyes looked down to the paper in her shaking hand.

'There is no mistake... That's the right adress. C-come on (Y/n), the first step is the hardest !', she tought, trying to store some courage before coming in.

Her stress rate made a sudden jump the moment she pushed the door open. nobody was here. She let out a sigh of relief. She examined her surrounding quickly to finally head for the only interesting thing in the ground floor : the stairs.

'Okay... He must be upstairs... Let's go... !'

Climbing the stairs, she immediatly noticed something. Her hands weren't the only things shaking now; her legs started to give her up too. She mentally cursed herself for being such a nervous mess. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the fading sound of voices coming from upstairs. She stopped for a second, then resumed in making her way upstairs. She was sweating so much, she felt like she was climbing a mountain actually .

She is now standing just before the door where the voices are coming from. She reajusted her red tie, the collar of her white shirt covered by her black three piece suit, to finally tighten the red hair elastic holding up her high ponytail. Then, she knocked on the door.

The voices suddenly stopped. She swallowed. Hard.

She opened the door, nevertheless. Way slower than she would have wanted to.

Three pairs of curious and surprised eyes were instantly on her. She made her best to introduce herself without stuttering.

"H-hi ! I'm (Y/n) (L/n) ! I was told to come and see Mister Yamashita today. Is he here ?"

She failed.

A short uncomfortable silence followed before the second woman in the room spoke up, very politely.

"(Y/n) (L/n) ? He told me about you coming. Mister Yamashita isn't here for the moment. He had an urgent meeting, sorry."

'Hum... Maybe it's my chance to come later so I won't have to stand before so much people but Mister Yamashita...'

(Y/n) tried to ignore the two males looking at her and only focused her attention to the blonde woman.

"Owh, I see ! Hum... So... I will come again later then ? Is it okay ?", she nervously smiled. - "From what he said me you want to join the Kengan Association as a new CEO. I just started telling these young men everything about the Kengan Association and the way it works. Are you interested in joining us in ?", proposed the woman as she reajusted her glasses.

The proposal surprised her but she managed to answer quickly, thanks to her nervousness.

"Y-yeah ! Of course ! Thanks for having me.", she thanked as she closed the door and searched for a chair to sit on. They were no chairs in the room, exept from the ones where the two guys are sitting. Hopefully, she noticed a couch beside the blonde one and took a sit. She did her best to not die from embarassment when she caught the blondie looking at her from aside. She acted like she didnt notice and looked down at her sweating hands.

She finally looked up when the woman started speaking again.

"I'm Akiyama Kaede, Yamashita Trading Co.'s secretary. And these two are Narushima Koga, an apprentice fighter and Gaoh Ryuki, an official fighter. They are both new to the association."

(Y/n) looked at both males and nodded at them with a nervous smile.

"N-Nice to meet you both...!"

Koga nodded at her back while Ryuki answered her, indifferent. "Nice to meet you."

'What a warm welcome...', she tought ironically.

Kaede resumed her speech about the Kengan Association. (Y/n) (L/n) knew some of the things said but she also learned a lot about it. Then came the most interesting part for her : the one about fights and fighters.

'I see... So all the fighters must have been registered with Yamashita Trading Co. to be able to fight in Kengan matches...', she thought deeply, almost not noticing the two other males entering the room suddenly. They greeted Kaede in a very friendly and warm way which made Koga obviously angry as (Y/n) conclued they must have known each other for a long time.

"Allow me to introduce you Himuro Ryo and Kaneda Suekichi. They are both active fighters." - "Pleased to meet you. My name is Kaneda, as she just said.", repeated the closed-eyed smile guy, happily. - "Himuro as a perfect 21 win record in the Kengan matches, and Kaneda is a veteran with 12 matches under his belt."

(Y/n) was looking at them in owe, then focusing on Kaneda. 'So that's how active fighters look like... That one seems pretty fragile tought...'

"Kaede, do you mind if I start now ?", asked Himuro. - "Of course ! Go right ahead !" - "So, like Kaede just said we are both fighters. We are employed by Ginokuniya Bookstore.", he started before turning his attention on Ryuki and smiled, "So, Gaoh, was it ? We saw your match yesterday. You beat Kokuro in your debut match... That's pretty impressive." - "Tch. Condescending ass.", commented Koga.

(Y/n)'s eyes widened as she saw Koga being punched hardly in the face by the white-haired man. She didnt even have the time to process what happened that Ryuki kicked his desk and then threw his chair at him. Himuro dodged the desk, deflected the chair with his arm and finally blocked Ryuki upcoming attack with one hand as his other one was under the boy's chin, menacingly.

"Wait, for real ? He adapted to "that move's blind spot"...!", exclaimed Koga, dumbfounded.

'What is he talking about ? I couldn't see anything ! That was happening so fast !', the girl thought, breathless. If only she knew that Himuro's next question would have made her even more shaken up. She wasn't prepared for what was coming next.

"What did you move to kill Kokuro after the match was over ?", asked Himuro angrily, "Choose your words carefully, 'cause I can still kill you from this distance."

'K-KILL ?!', yelled (Y/n) in her head as she suddenly stood up in surprise.

"You are right, I would have ended up killing Kokuro if Mister Yamashita hadn't stopped me. I just forgot that it was just a "match"... I've only fought in fights to death up until now.", explained Ryuki like it was nothing.

Koga and (Y/n) let escape a sound of surprise as Ryuki continued, "But if you can't kill people in Kengan matches, then I will follow that rule."

Himuro thought for a second before letting go of Ryuki. "It seems like you are not lying."

He then sat down as he explained the reason he was here. Apparently Yamashita asked him and Kaneda to be in charge of their "education". (Y/n) managed to calm down a bit since.

"From this day forth, I'm going to be your mentor. I'm going to make you two into first-rate fighters." - "No, I'm good.", instantly refused Ryuki which made everyone sweatdrop while (Y/n) cracked a smile. The way he said that was way too funny for her.

Now that the situation finally calmed down, Kaneda proposed to Koga to follow him while Himuro did the same with Ryuki. Koga seemed distrusful at first but accepted anyway. On the other hand, Ryuki just walked after Himuro silently.

(Y/n) was now left alone with Kaede. Being alone with her made her way less nervous than she was earlier so she dared to spoke up for once.

"It was the first time I faced such a situation. I think I will have to work about that.", she joked with a small giggle.

Kaede smiled at her. "Indeed ! But don't worry, it's usually way calmer around here." - "I hope so !", she laughed before continuing, "So, do you have any idea when Mister Yamashita will be back ?" - "I have no idea for the moment, i'm sorry. Maybe you can give me your number so I can tell you when he's avaible." - "Oh yeah ! Here's my number..."

Kaede wrote the girl's number on a piece of paper before thanking her and apologizing for the CEO's absence.

"It's okay, don't worry ! He's a CEO so he must be very busy, I can understand that.", she smiled brightly before walking up to the door, "Thanks for all the informations you gave us earlier, it was very interesting. I hope I will get to see you soon. Have a nice day !"

(Y/n) waved at Kaede before going out of the room and closing the door behind her.

'She seems to be a kind and lovely girl.', thought Kaede with a eye-closed smile, 'I wonder what kind of CEO she will become...'

                                     ---------------------------------------------

The next day, (Y/n) received a message from Kaede. She will be able to see Yamashita today at the office. She smiled in front of her phone as she just woke up. She got dressed and took her breakfast before stepping outside with a helmet on. She climbed on her motorcycle and drove towards her next destination.

She lived pretty near from Yamashita Trading Co.'s building but she always enjoyed riding her bike, even for the shortest trip. She arrived soon at the previous day's adress. She parked her bike, put off her helmet, and headed for the first floor just like yesterday.

She was wearing the same outfit as before. She didn't really like dressing formally but she wanted to make a good first impression on people. Besides, it made her looking more professional and credible, some assets she really lacked because of her shyness and her ability to get nervous very easily around people she doesn't know.

"Good morning Mister Yamashita, Miss Akiyama !", greeted (Y/n), entousiastly. She was surprisingly feeling at ease around them already. She met Yamashita briefly once some weeks ago and immediatly noticed how comfortable the atmosphere around him is. He's just so kind, respectul, not intimidating at all... at least for her.

Yamashita's face brighten up at her entrance. "Here you are Miss (L/n) ! I'm sorry for yesterday ! I had a very important meeting and all..." - "No need to apologize, Mister Yamashita !", she reassured with a smile, seeing the man before her getting obviously nervous and embarassed, "It happens ! Besides, Miss Akiyama already told me a lot yesterday and I could even have the chance to meet some active fighters." - "Yeah, that's a unique chance !", he laughed, "I planned to take you to see a real Kengan match soon anyway, so that you can witness how it looks like." - "Really ? That's so nice of you, thanks !"

(Y/n) was now as excited as ever. She didn't know why, but seeing a real Kengan fight is something she was waiting for with impatience.

"But I also have a bad news for you...", continued Yamashita, now a mix of sadness and seriousness on his face.

(Y/n) looked straight at him, growing more and more nervous by the second. "What is it...?"

"You wanted to integrate the Kengan Association as fast as possible as a new CEO, but that won't be possible right now." - "W-why ?", she brutaly asked, unable to prevent her sudden anger to take the upper hand on her usual kind and smiling self. Yamashita reajusted his glasses, "The Association is encountering some serious problems at the moment. However,I will gladly hire you as a new secretary so you can see by yourself how the association works !"

Yamashita smiled silently at her, waiting for her answer. (Y/n) thought for a short time before nodding slowly. "It's with a huge pleasure that I accept your proposition !"

'Anything is better than being in stanby for a non-determined lenght. Besides, being right on the field is a perfect opportunity to learn. Let's do that, yeah. I wonder what are these "problem" he is talking about, tought...'

"So, when will I be starting ?", finally asked the girl, curiously. - "Right now ! If it doesn't bother you, of course ! All this wasn't planned after all." Yamashita scratched the back of his head in embarassment. - "No, I don't mind at all ! I had nothing planned today anyway..."

Yamashita laughed happily as he gave Akiyama some instructions about (Y/n)'s new role in the Yamashita Trading Co. The beautiful woman only nodded silently before looking at the girl.

"Come here, I will show you some data about the fighters and how it works.", offered Akiyama as she sat in front of her computer.

(Y/n) instantly nodded and took a sit next to the blonde secretary and listened carefully to everyword she said.

Yamashita looked at the two females with a slight smile on his face, his expression softening. Having suddenly a few more new people around him made him happy for some reason. Maybe he was starting to feel lonely somehow ? 

Even him didn't know.

[oh-its-souichi]

Aw

Yo! 

Shigaraki X Reader

Another fic about Shig being a father? 

Hell ya 

... I can’t help it... Him being a dad just gives me... life.

Im sorry

Also the final chapter of Ultra Violence will be posted sometime this week and after that I will be continuing the Dabi fic Ive been working on.

Warning- I didn’t know how Nomu were made so I just guessed, FLUFF, Daughters name is Shi because its like "she" but spelled cool and Im lazy.

It was all but silent in the warehouse. 

Around him was the bothersome buzzing of the machines at work while the water that the Nomu grew in sloshed around. With the attack on the Yuuai summer camp underway they were there to check on Dabi’s Nomu’s.

The patchwork villain wouldn’t shut up about it so Shigaraki, fed up, told him to meet up with his at the warehouse so they could see how the creature was progressing.

To the left of him Kurogiri was fidgeting with a control panel while Shi played with a small nail she had found while wondering around the warehouse.

Dabi stared down at her wondering if he should take the nail away from her but shrugged and turned his attention to one of the brains floating in the sickly green water. "Hey boss are you cool with her having that?" Dabi suddenly spoke the situation irking him for some reason.

Shigaraki looked briefly down at his daughter and grunted seeing no issue. It was nice she had found something to preoccupy herself with instead of badgering him.

Shi quietly hummed a song Shigaraki had heard play at the beginning of one of the magical girl series she was obsessed with. 

Well, the one she was obsessed with right now. It seemed to change every week though. 

The only reason he was aware of the change is because sometimes he got on his computer to read the news and what not he would hear two little feet tumble into the room, the pressure of her eyes falling on him. “Daddy” she would say locking her sights beginning the silent battle.

He would try to ignore her, grumbling under his breath at her while focusing on whatever he was doing that day until he just gave up.

“Uh fine. You’re so annoying.” he would groan minutes into the stare down.

Begrudgingly he would lift her onto his lap and go to the website that illegally uploaded movies and episodes of various titles, clicking on whatever caught her interest.

Usually the shows consisted of brightly colored character who were overly enthusiastic and made his head ache. His fingers would find their way up to his throat scratching ruthlessly. 

He didn’t like having to share especially with a little girl that just walks in and demands things of him without saying a single word but he found it was easier to let her watch it for a few minutes and often times he didnt give into her, like yesterday, but on days he was to exhausred to fight he would

It was better then dealing with her silently crying, having hidden herself under a blanket in a corner somewhere and then you looking at him with the damn puppy dog eyes asking "She just wants to spend time with you T"

The two of you drove him crazy. 

But secretly he liked it. 

Shi dropped the nail in her hand to the ground and wandered up to his side standing up on her tip toes staring down into the water. “For me?” He heard her say. “Huh? he said twisting his expression underneath Father, casting his sights down to her. She shifted awkwardly under his gaze feeling the pressure. Nervously she twisted the toe of her small beat up sneakers into the cement floor. She had learned in the two years she had been alive that odd things set her father off and it was not fun to be at the receiving end of his dangerous temper. “One for me?” she repeated pointing at herself. 

Shigaraki paused letting her words sink in before a smile spread across his face. “You want a Nomu?” he asked shifting his eyes from the little girl to one of the floating brains. A lightness entered his chest and he almost felt uncomfortably elated. The feeling wasn’t entirely new he had felt it before when he saw himself on the news and heard the newscasters say his name with a adorable twang of fear in their voices. 

It made him proud.

He felt proud.  

He knelt down connecting he red eyes with her similarly colored ones. “Now what would a- How old are you?” he asked. She paused prodding her bottom lip with her pointer finger. 

“56 probably” 

“56?! Are you stupi-” 

“She’s two and a half Tomura Shigraki” Kurogiri said from the work bench himself and Dabi stood by while waiting for the machine he had been using to load the program he had to install. Shigaraki cocked his head in thought. ‘It’s been two years already. What the hell’ 

Shi had been his greatest mishap.

At 18 you were introduced into his life and he quickly became intrigued by you, obsessed with you. Eventually the two of you formed a strange relationship and he found himself spending more time alone with you in his room, knocking you up in the process.

After breaking the news to All for One he was surprised the elder man was somewhat supportive. ‘It’s a little earlier then I would have liked it to be but it’s good to secure an ere.’ 

They were not exactly the words he wanted to hear but that’s all ancient history now.

He studied her childish features seeing a lot more of himself in her face then you. She had light blue hair that was slightly wavy and bright red eyes the only real difference being she was a little bit cuter. 

“What would a two year old want with a Nomu?” he asked. Shi with a determined look on her face walked away from her father (to his confusion) making her way to Kurogiri where she interrupted the conversation he and Dabi were having to tug the newspaper he had in his hand. He released it watching her shyly walk back to Shigaraki. Clumsily unfolding the paper she pointed to a picture of All Might that was printed on it. “For Game over” she said. 

Shigaraki’s breath got caught in his throat leaving him breathless, his chest tightening harshly. Quickly his brain was overrun with images of him and his daughter releasing mass destruction upon the city hand in hand, well pinky in pinky. The effects on the public seeing a small innocent child basically murder innocent civilians would shake then to their core. The heros wouldnt even know what to do.

“Well” he said “What a promising little mistake you’re turning out to be. Kurogiri give one of these to her” he said grabbing Shi lightly by the hand, twirling her around. 

Kurogiri looked away from Dabi who raised his eyebrows unimpressed. “Are you sure that is wise?” he asked warily. Shigaraki dropped Shi’s hand raising up his arms. “What kind of father would I be to deny his own daughter’s wishes and aspirations.” he said smiling down on Shi who blushed. Dabi scoffed “Where was that attitude when you yelled at her for wanting to watch that kid show? Isnt that kinda like denying her aspirations??”

Shigaraki grew irritated “ Shut up patchwork. Kurogiri can you do it or not?” he asked glaring at the man. 

Kurogiri sighed to himself. “Yes I will set it up now” he said moving himself back to the control panel silently thinking to himself. (A peek into the mind of Kurogiri- ‘WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS ABSOLUTE HELL GOBLIN THINKI-) 

Dabi flashed Kurogiri an amused look before propping himself against one of the metal tables that sat adjacent to the Nomu’s “So Shi” he said earning a glare from Shigaraki.

Shi looked at him shyly her cheeks flushed. “Once you get this Nomu of yours how are you going to take him down?” 

She thought for a moment before smiling viciously, much like her fathers smile. “Like this!” she triumphed fiercely punching Dabi in the leg making him jump slightly in shock.  Shigaraki burst out in laughter standing up to ruffle Shi’s hair. “Very good!” he praised picking her carefully up. “Next time aim a little higher.” 

... 

Later in the evening after you had returned from shopping you expected to be berated by Shigaraki for being out to long but instead were left alone. Pleasantly surprised you retired to the bar reading one of your books when you noticed Shi and her father whispering to one another for a suspicious amount of time. You snuck a glance at them every now and then. It was very rare for him to interact with her so much. 

Breaking their secret meeting Shi wobbled over to you with a smile as bright as the sun. 

“Hi mommy” she said attempting to grapple up the stool to the right of you. “Hi Shi” you replied setting the book you had attempted to read down on the bar top. You reached your arms out to grab her and lift her up but were beat when Shigaraki picked her up with two pinkies in the air and placed her on top of the stool. You smiled at her as she situated herself, resting her head on her arms with a big yawn. Her eyes drooped and you could tell she was fighting off a powerful wave of sleep. It was a little past her bedtime. Normally Tomura was so strict about bedtime but today he didn’t seem bothered by her presence as he normally did. 

“How was today?” you asked mimicking her position feeling a finger run gently down your spine it’s owner retiring next to you, unmasking himself. Ephemerally you looked at him puzzled. “He sure is in a good mood today’ you thought becoming instantly reluctant about the situation. “Good. I got Nomu!” Shi exclaimed tiredly.

You turned your attention back to her lovingly brushing a few stray strands of hair behind her ears. “You got a Nomu?” you questioned looking to Kurogiri for some sort of explanation who only looked back at you exhausted.  ‘Great’ you thought. “Yep!” Shi said happily. “Daddy give it!” You clicked your tongue and sat up resting your eyes on your handsome boyfriend who only beamed proudly.

A chuckle slipped past your lips. “He did huh? I’m sure that is going to be very fun for the two of you especially when daddy gets to clean up whatever mess you and the Nomu make.” Shigaraki grunted at your words not liking the sound of that. 

[minijeong]

@quillium hi!! im glad you’re enjoying them cc: (even though they’re just me ranting about izone LOL)  i was out the whole day so couldn’t reply to this earlier, but i made a list below the cut!

i actually prefer performances over mv! i perform a lot of dance myself so i find that i can observe a lot more through performances. i actually mainly continue following kpop for dance/performance aspect! one of the main reasons why i love izone is because you can see their teamwork in their performances (which is a lot less common than it should be)

lver mama ver: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhdW-GceM6g // i enjoy this a LOT. props in dance are honestly a hit or miss; if you’re not creative enough with the prop, everyone just sees that you’re using the prop for the sake of using the prop and it’s not cool - but i really enjoyed the imagery they made with the red cloth with the rose petals (yuri’s adlib) // it was also REALLY clean for eunbi’s part and i was hella impressed at the time // the only thing is that nako’s part with the cloth was messy and i feel like they couldnt figure out how to make everyone spin the cloth in the same way LOL // also during the actual performance yuri got her cloth knocked out of her hand and she got hit in the face with a cloth LOL // i find that izone’s dance breaks are actually a lot better than what girl group dance breaks are like? usually kpop esp girl groups have fairly simple dance breaks that are kinda boring (imo, from what ive seen, and from the perspective of a dancer, not a fan) // in all my years of dancing and teaching and competing i have never seen anyone dance like chaeyeon lol like she definitely has things she can improve on but the way she moves is just?? defies physics // chaewon finally got dance appreciation bc no one really realizes she’s 2nd best dancer in izone // ok that was rly long whoops

lver 181123: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMJqXAAmyQY // they are singing live and very clearly // chaewon asserted dominance // the lver mv is not in my playlist but this is LOL i really like it when i can actually hear live singing bc then haters can go stuff it // but yea did u hear chaewon // thats my one pick // greatest all rounder ever

ot5 rumor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8TWEmTSGRw // k y’all know that i love ot12 but imma be real and say that rumor does not suit every member too well and i felt like out of all versions of rumor, this was the strongest // yena’s rap // the camera zoomed in on chaeyeon while CHAEWON was rapping so she didnt get any recognition for it but // chaewon greatest all rounder // whenever i see chaeyeon having fun on stage my heart swells // this is a nice segue into...

mirotic cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gENAB63WYyA // IMO usually when boy group songs are covered by girl groups, i kind of get disappointed? idk i always feel like it doesnt have the same impact // but for izone imo they did rly well (some of my non-wizone dance friends said so too) bc i feel like they really internalized the song (did u hear the girls screaming lol) // yena did that // chaewon was unexpectedly good at this LOL // they had so many performances for end of year ceremonies which can be REALLY stressful (minju literally broke down crying while practicing mirotic and the girls were so tired and hysteric they decided to film her instead of comfort her) but they all went without any noticeable mistakes so i was rly impressed // gda’s filming sucks ass

amor fati: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyxKytjnJJg // rapper and vocal yena // main vocal yujin // ssamyuljin opening // need i say more // THE V FORMATION AT 2:35 IS SO PERFECT that shit is hard LOL when i saw that i was like... can u tell me ur secrets bc we have trouble with it... lol (they always do perfect V for violeta too) // chaeyeon’s dance break is HELLA hype... that musicality tho... like it wasnt just a basic count by count choreo... it legit followed the music... ye // yenyul look like they’re wearing couple outfits

violeta 190415: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y58Batrsag // 0:51-0:56 // that is all // also 2:34... duality

really like you 190412: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARjH648T0AY // yall know my biases... // 2:11 yuri -> yujin -> chaewon -> yuri -> chaewon+yuri yall kNOW i can’t survive that // throwback to chaewon getting roasted to hell for singing like a robot // but now when she singing this im like i reALLY LIKE YOU TOO

so curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOXsZHXjYn4 // my post workout and morning song // how do you even have such nice rap in a cute song like this // the dance is SO CUTE i was really impressed because i felt that the choreographer really respected the music when choreographing to this // main vocal chaewon justice // can u believe yena is oldest // ‘im curious about you’ ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ 

ayayaya https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JOMUBY3KHE // my workout song LOL // so proud of hyewon sakura and yuri // i dont think they have the foundation that eunbi/chaeyeon/minju have because there’s some awkwardness in their grooves, which can honestly be really discouraging. but they didnt let it show! (and sakura won me over with her one line in second verse i died) // chaeyeon senpai // yuri going on all fours like the hamster she is // @ yul and minju yall get off the floor ur minors // for both this one and so curious, it really made me wish otr gave them more time to prepare for the concert... formations and moves are kind of messier than usual because of how little time they had to prepare and knowing that before performing can really stress performers out

Random stuff that doesnt have dancing...

izone galaxy cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa3NQ2eQPvw // their voices match each other so well // yena’s voice in the opening is so sweet // they didnt even coordinate this ahead of time i just // yea i listen to this a lot

nako singing yes or yes: https://youtu.be/YjZEj08ajrA?t=15 // #letnakosing

yuri singing I: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXxQT42PQ9g // taeyeon is my fav vocalist of all time... so... ye // nervous baby lol

yuri nekkoya higher key: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xL3ikvayWM // stan talent

nostalgia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUQxFtn3PPU // yenyul  // also this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dvDhLtJ1Og

that’s all LOL i hope u enjoyed reading if u made it to the end // thanks for stopping by ♡♡

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

What Does Being An Idol Got To Do With It?! (Jungkook x You ONESHOT)

MASTERLIST

A/N: I am currenbtly busy working on the amazing requests that I’ve been receiving . So for now  Im just gonna post this fic that I have written a few months back.I feel like this is just trash :( I dont know what I’m doing. Forgive me 😭

Summary: “I’m not just an idol Y/N. I am also just a man. A man who’s desperately in love with you,”

Jeon Jungkook has just been slapped across the face.

Hard.

At a fan meeting.

By a fan.

And the said fan is looking at him, eyes wide as saucers, mouth hanging open. Jungkook held his left cheek, still red and stinging from the hard slap. The whole auditorium turns quiet. Even the other members are shocked by what had just happened. They have been doing this for six years and this is the first time any one of them have ever been slapped by a fan.

“Oh. My. God,” you stuttered. “I..I…I am so sorry. I..I.. saw a bee and it almost stings your face and I just wanted to hit it away and I totally forgot about your face and I…I… I’m sorry Jingkook,” you keep on rambling non stop. Panic is overwhelming your senses.

“It’s Jungkook. With a U,” Jungkook calmly replied back, his mouth is starting to turn upwards into a smile.  You slapped a hand on your forehead. Shit, you slapped the boy and you cant even pronounce his name right.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

You hide your face behind your hair, highly aware of all the other fans shooting daggers at you. If looks could kill, you would be dead a million time over. This is exactly why you shouldnt have gone to a fan meeting at this age.

Jungkook wanted to say its okay but before he can say anything, a girl besides you, who is in front of Taehyung, and who Jungkook assumed is your friend, pulled you by your collar and dragged you away, hissing in your ear. You look at Jungkook one last time, sending him an apologetic look and without realizing it, Jungkook smile to himself.

/////

“Oh My God Y/N! I cant believe you did that!” your friend hissed in anger after she dragged you out from the auditorium. “You slapped Jungkook across the face! The Jeon Jungkook! God, you are going to be hated by ARMYs worldwide now,”

You hung your head low. You know you screwed up and there is nothing you can say to make you friend hate you less right now.

“And to top it off, you call him Jingkook?! Who in the world went to a BTS fanmeet and calls the golden maknae Jingkook?!” your friend screamed at you.

“Well… to be fair, you know I dont know them that well and I told you, multiple times, I might add, that I dont want to go but you dragged me here anyway!” you huffed. Its true. Being almost 8 years older than what your friend called the golden maknae, you are no longer interested in drooling over all these celebrities like some teenage fangirls. Especially idols.

Your friend rubbed her temples. “Yeah, and that was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. Remind me to not ever take you to any show ever again!”

You smile and linked arms with her. You know she’s mad, because unlike you, your friend is still in her fangirl phase, despite being the same age as you and she’s been looking forward to meet her favorite idols for months now. Its okay though because you know she loves you too much to be able to stay mad at you for a long time.

“I’ll treat you to dinner and ice cream okay? The event is finishing anyway. This way we wont be stuck in the parking lot, crammed with everyone trying to get home at the same time!”

“Yeah you are right. You should be grateful I managed to meet all of them before you pull that stupid stunt! And dinner will be my choice,” she smile. You laughs and nodded. Ready to make your way out and leave all this behind you.

The moment you and Jin Hee turned towards the door, two casually dressed man with a crew tag hung around their necks stops you. One of them smile and the other just eyed you from his position.

“Hello miss. I’m sorry to interrupt, but we work for BigHit,” the smiley man introduced himself.  "And if you have the time, we would like to invite you backstage,“ your eyes widen at that. So does Jin Hee’s.

"Huh?”

“Jungkook-ssi, or maybe you know him better as Jingkook-ssi would like to request your presence. He has something to say to you,” the other man chimed in, smirking at you when he mentioned the way you mispronounced Jungkook’s name. Your eyes widen even more. Shit, you are going to get it now. This Jungkook guy is so going to sue you. God, you had a wonderful career. A great life. You cant go to jail now. You really cant. You need to-

“Miss?” the first guy asks again, interrupting your thoughts when you didnt respond. You look at Jin Hee for help. She looks just as nervous as you are. The two man saw the look the two of you are giving each other, “You can come with,” he motioned to Jin Hee.

“This way please. The boys dont have much time. They have another schedule to attend to,” the non smiley man said and lead the way, giving you and Jin Hee no other choice but to follow along.

You and Jin Hee entered the back stage area and the man motioned you to go into one of the rooms. Sweating and feeling nervous as hell, you opened the door and is greeted by the seven boys you met on stage earlier. You look behind you at Jin Hee, she is staring at Taehyung and looks like she’s going to faint. Jungkook immediately stands up from his seat and smile at you. He noticed the way Jin Hee is staring at Taehyung and nodded at his hyung. Taehyung immediately nodded back and step towards Jin Hee, who you can confidently say could really faint for real anytime soon.

“Hi, I’m Taehyung. And you are?” He flashed his boxy smile at her. You felt sorry for you friend. You know how much she loves Taehyung. Her room is covered with his face. Every single inch of it, and now he is standing right in front of her. Smiling and asking her name.

“Jin…Jin Hee,” she managed to choked out.

“Well Jin Hee. I can tell you must like me the most out of these other six dorks,” he said with a smile, making the other boys groan out in protest. Jin Hee nodded fereciously.

“Ye…yes. You are my bias,”

“Well, how about we leave this two to talk and maybe we can have our own conversation?” Taehyung suggested, putting his arms around Jin Hee’s shoulder, leading her out. You grabbed her arms and shakes your head, silently begging her not to leave you with this… this Jingkook. She pushed your hand and mouthed an inaudible ‘Sorry, but its Taetae!’ and went out. You gave her one last glare, shooting daggers down her back. So much for friendship, what a betrayer!

One by one the other boys gets up from the couch and make their way out. Slapping Jungkook on the back snd grinning at him, before smiling at you and letting themself out, leaving the two of you alone. The last one out, if your memory of Jin Hee’s teachings doesnt fail you, is called Yoongi, and he smirked at Jungkook, “Take it easy Jungkook. Dont be so hard on her. Play nice,” and went off. You felt goosebumps after hearing him. Shit, Jungkook is really going to sue you. Jungkook just chuckle at his hyung. The moment you two were left alone, you turned to see Jungkook in front of you, leaning cockily against the wall, a smirk on his face and shamelessly eyeing you up and down.

You immediately clasped your hands together, as if you are begging and close your eyes. Ready for waterworks if need to.

“Mr Jungkook. I am so so so so so sorry for slapping you. I didnt mean it. I really did saw a bee. Its an automatic reaction. I’m sorry please dont sue me! Please dont press charges! I have a job that I need to keep. I have to feed my cat. She will miss me a lot if I go to jail. I have so many things to do. I cant go to jail. Please please. I will do anything. Please just dont sue me,” you rambled without stopping, you are panting, sweats starts to dot your forehead as your mind is filled with panic. You peeked open one eyes when you hear no respond from him to see him still leaning against the wall, quietly laughing.

You opened both eyes and placed your hands on your hips, feeling angry. Is he laughing at you? Is this boy seriously mocking you right now? You are apologizing to him with utmost sincerity and he is laughing at you? What a bastard.

Jungkook stops laughing when he sees how pissed you are. His face turns back into a smirk as he stepped closer and closer to you. You backed away until your back hits the wall and he stopped right in front of you, face so close your nose is almost touching.

“You said you will do anything as long as I dont sue you, right?” he asks in a low seductive voice, his warm breath fanning your face. You shut your eyes tightly in fear. You might be older, but this boy is seriously scaring you.

“Y..yes,”

“What’s your name?”

“Y…Y/N,”

“Well then Y/N. I need you to do one thing for me before I can forgive you,” you felt his hands get closer to your sides, almost touching your waist. You close your eyes and turn your face to the right, away from him.

“No…no. Please no,” you start to tremble. “Dont do it. I am your noona!” Suddenly you felt him move away from you.

“What did you think I’m asking you to do?” he asks in his normal voice. You open your eyes and see him standing in front of you, grinning, showing his cute bunny smile and waving your phone in front of you. You then realized that he had taken your phone out from your crossbody bag that is hung by your side while you were scared shitless. You felt both relieved and feeling like punching him all at the same time.

He punched in some number and you heard his own phone in his pockets rings. After finally snapping out fron your dazed, you realized he is taking you number. You cursed yourself for not putting a password on your phone.

“So Noona huh?” he grinned. “Its fine. I always prefer older woman anyway,” he winked at you. He gave back your phone and grinned at you.“Your number is the price you have to pay for slapping me, Y/N,” he leans in closer and whisper in your ear, sending chills down your body. Before you can respond, someone knock on the door and Jin Hee peeked her head in. You can hear the voice of the other boys from outside. Taehyung peeks his head beside Jin Hee’s.

“Time’s up maknae. We got to go,” he grinned at you and close the door, Jin Hee following his steps.

What a traitor!

“Coming hyung,” Jungkook yelled back and start collecting his things. Before he went off he leans in one more time, softly whispering in your ear, “And you better respond to my texts and calls, if you dont want me to claim something more from you Noona,” he winked at your surprised face, chuckled and walked out. Leaving you confuse, alone in the room until Jin Hee came in, squealing about her experience with the other members.

Jungkook cant hide his smile when they were all buckled up in the car, on their way to the next schedule.

“Got what you wanted?” Taehyung peeks his head from between the head rests behind him, startling Jungkook.

“He sure did. Just look at that smile on his face. Maknae’s all grown up,” Hoseok who sat beside him chimed in. Jungkook chuckled, waving his phone in front of hin, indicating he did get what he wanted.

“Thanks hyung. For distracting the friend,” he turned around, thanking Taehyung.

“Not a problem. She’s fun. Maybe if things work out between you two we can all hang out with Jin Hee again,” Taehyung suggested. Jungkook nodded. Things working out between you two… It has a nice ring to it.

Y/N.

Jungkook puts on his headphones and turn to the window, grinning by himself. To be honest, he was extremely shocked when his face was suddenly slapped. He wanted to get angry but when he look at how shocked you are, he didnt have the heart to do so. Instead he found it funny when you start to ramble about a bee and apologizing refusely.

What kind of a girl would try to hit a bee with their bare hands?

Most girl he knows, which he admits is not many, would scream bloody murder if they saw a bee. But you. Your immediate reaction is to just slapped the shit out of the bee.

After the boys were ushered backstage after the event, Jungkook immediately told his hyungs about the connection he felt with you. The need to know more about you and Namjoon suggest to just invite you backstage and get your number. The managers had done that for some of the boys before, so its no big deal. So Jungkook asked for help from two of their managers to fetch you, praying and hoping you havent left yet after being dragged out of the auditorium.

You never ceased to amaze him. He laughs when he remembered how the first thought that came to your mind when you met him backstage is he wanted to sue you.

Sue you for slapping him? How in the world did you come to that conclusion? He chuckled to himself.

Most girls would go ballistic if an idol calls them to go backstage. But of course, not you. Everything you did just makes him more curious. More interested to getting to know you. Even the way you call him Jingkook fascinates him. This is the first time he met a fan who didnt know his name. You might be older, but you sure do act like someone his age. He doesnt feel the age gap at all. He chuckles again and felt a hard slap at the back of his head. He turned around and see Jimin grinning at him.

“God, stop acting like a love sick puppy. Chuckling like an idiot. We are here!” he said, while climbing out from the van. Jungkook followed suit, wishing their schedule would end soon so he could start texting you.

You are trying to forget everything that happen that day by cooking yourself a bowl of steaming ramen and planning to eat it while continuing watching the half seen episode of the latest drama you are currenlt binge watching. You were only on your third bite when your phone dings. Wondering who could have texted you this late at night, you peeks at the notification.

Jungkookie  ♡

What?  Did the delusional idol seriously placed a heart emoji beside his own name? You rolled your eyes and tapped open the notification, wanting to see what he wanted.

Jungkookie ♡ [01.43am] Hey Y/N. Are you sleeping?

Jungkookie ♡ [01.45am] I’m sorry I couldnt text you earlier. Trust me, I wanted to so badly. But today’s schedule was tight I dont even have time to pee!

Jungkookie ♡ [01.48am] I guess you are already sleeping. Good Night Y/N. I’ll be dreaming of you tonight.

You decided not to reply Jungkook’s messages. How is this boy so shameless? But you do like the fact he didnt call you noona. You really hate that. It just makes you feel old. Pushing all thoughts of him aside, you continue watching the drama, all thoughts of Jungkook dissapeared from your mind.

However, unfortunately for you, for someone who is supposed to be extremely busy, Jungkook seems to find the time to text you constantly. To the extend of calling you if you didnt reply to his barrage of text messages. You just ignore him and move on with your life, which Jin Hee strongly protest, ssying the boy could be your destiny, the love of your life. You just rolled your eyes at that. There is no way that’s going to happen. Jungkook is eight years younger than you, and an idol, at that.

No. You and him? That is never happening.

You and an idol? That is definitely not happening.

Its not like you are going to see him again anyways. You dont plan in attending any fanmeets any time soon, or ever.

Well, that’s what you think.

You were minding your own business at work, briefing your team for the new project when a very familiar voice called out to you.

“Y/N noona?”

You close your eyes, shaking your head. This cant be. Please no. You turned around slowly, hoping it wont be who you thought it is, but of course…

“It is you!” Jungkook smile is so bright you almost went blind. You quickly dismissed your team who is giving you curious looks as he make his way to you, telling his other members who is grinning widely and waving at you that he will be back soon. “Why do you never reply to my texts or pick up my calls?” he pouts.

“Because I dont find the need to,” you quickly start to pack your things, trying to get away from him as soon as possible. He held your arm, stopping you.

“Do you work here Y/N?” he directly asked. It always make you feel some type of way when he just calls you by your name and instead of noona. You nodded.

“Obviously,”

“Great,” he clapped his hand in glee. “Now that I know where you work, if you still keep on avoiding my texts and calls, I will just come here and find you!” he happily declared.

“No! Please no,” he quirked an eyebrow at your outburst. “Please dont come here. I will reply to your text, okay?” you pleaded. Jungkook smile happily.

“That’s great!” he said, a satisfied smirk plastered on his face. “But you do know this is a broadcast company right? I come here a lot Y/N,”

You close your eyes in frustration. Crap. Why didnt you make the connection. You work in a huge broadcast company. He’s an idol. Of course he would be here a lot. And now that he knows you are working here… crap crap crap.

“Tell you what,” Jungkook suddenly lean in closer. “I promise I wont make a scene whenever I’m here, as long as you promise to see me or maybe grab a quick bite with me whenever I’m here. Deal?”

You sigh. This is so not what you had planned your day to go. You cant afford for him to create a ruckus at your place of work. You glare at him. Why is this delusional boy so obsessed with you anyway?

“Fine,” you agreed, making Jungkook smile and you just felt like you signed your death contract.

Ever since that fateful day, Jungkook has been texting you every single day. You have no choice but to reply. As days went by, you find him not to be so annoying anymore. Despite his age, he can actually hold a decent conversation with you, it didnt went pass you that he is also funny and sweet. He came to your office about two times a week, since his group is filming some show with the broadcast station. He made sure to see you every single time, for lunch, sometimes for tea and even just a quick bite. You have to admit, you kind of like spending time with him.

But when his age and his status as an idol came to mind, you quickly pushed your thoughts aside and try to forget all feelings that might have emerged.

Sometimes, you just feel that its already too late.

Jungkook always noticed when you start to distance yourself from him. He can feel you start to give in, opening yourself up to him, and as if you had a sudden realization, you will suddenly turn back to being cold and distance with him. He cant understand it. Its driving him even more crazy because well, Jungkook is in love with you. After months of getting to know you, he has no doubts that he has fallen deeply in love with you. Your age doesnt matter. It doesnt bother him at all. He loves everything about you.  But does it bother you? He knows you feel the same way, he’s very sure about it. It shows in the way you shyly smile at him or sometimes stare at him when you thought he wasnt looking. Still, Jungkook cant put a finger on what exactly is holding you back.

“Hey you okay?” Taehyung asks after seeing the maknae running his hand multiple times through his hair, worry written all over his face.

“No, not really,” Jungkook honestly admitted.

“Its Y/N noona isnt it?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook admits, shoulders slumped in frustration. “I know she feels the same way about me. I know she loves me back hyung. I know she does. But I dont understand why she’s holding her feelings back,” he sigh. “And I hate it when I see photos of her having fun with her friends partying, out drinking coffee with her colleagues and stuff after she said she is too busy to reply to my texts. I just felt like she has a life on her own, a life without me in it, a life she didnt want to include me in. And God, I really want to be in it,”

“Jungkook, you know noona is older than all of us right? Its just right that she already have a life of her own before she even met you. You cant expect her to only spend time with you. Even if the two of you got together, she will still have a life of her own. I dont see her as a woman who will change her whole life just for a man,”

“I know that,” Jungkook sigh. “But I dont like thinking she’s out there having fun and not even thinking about me. When all I do everyday is think about her every single second, wanting her,”

“Well then, I guess you have to go talk to Y/N noona and sort things out. See for sure where the two of you stand. That’s all the advice I can give you Kook,” Taehyung patted his back before leaving Jungkook thinking about his words.

Jungkook didnt see you for almost three weeks. He didnt have anymore programs to shoot at the company, thus, no more excuses to grab a quick lunch with you. Plus, his schedule is extremely pack, not giving him time to go and see you. Its drives him crazy, not being able to see you. He tried to hold it in, the extreme feeling of missing and wanting you, but all restrain broke loose when you casually replied to his text saying you are just on your way home from a date.

A fucking date.

You barely replied to his texts or answers his calls, and you went on a fucking date?

Jungkook knows you and him never talked about your relationship. Never actually set the line. Never discussed what you are to each other. But never would he have thought you would think so little of him. Absolutely ignoring and disrespecting his feelings that he laid out bare in front of you.

Furious and cant barely think straight, Jungkook makes his way to your house, not bothering or even caring what time it is. He let out a low growled when you opened the door still dressed in the outfit you wore for the date. It angers him how you dressed up so nicely for another man.

“Jungkook. What are you doing here?” you asked, surprised by his unexpected visit.

“Did you have fun on your little date, noona?” he ignored your question and answered with his own. You can sense the jealousy seething through him and sigh. You really have no time to deal with a hormonally induced boy with his ridiculous sense of jealousy.

“Jungkook… if that is why you are here about, then you shouldnt have. Its nothing, we just went out for dinner. We are just getting to know each other,”  you acting as if going out on a date is not a big deal only adding fuel to the fire.

“Then what about me? Why dont you fucking get to know me?! Are you seriously acting like you cheating on me is not a big deal!?” you are startled. Jungkook never speak that way to you before. Although a little afraid with the furious male in front of you, you try your best to act tough.

“What about you? What do you mean cheating on you? We are not dating Jungkook! We are nothing!  Get it through your childish little head!” you answered back, not able to entirely hide the tremble in your voice . “And I am still your noona. I didnt give you the permission to talk to me like that!”

Jungkook sent you a death glare, eyes dark, making your heart pounds faster. God, why is this boy looks so hot when he’s angry? “You are right noona. We are not dating, aren’t we? I am nothing to you, aren’t I?” his voice sounded so hurt, you just want to give him a hug and tell him everything is going okay. Jungkook ran his hands through his hair and make his way to the door, but you managed to stop him in time, pulling his arms.

“What do you want Y/N?” he growled, making you take a step back.

“Jungkook,” you stammered. “Its not like that. Its not what I meant! You are just to young to unde-”

“Is this what its all about? My age?! My fucking age?” Jungkook turned and walked further towards you. “You think I’m too young to be with you? Is that it?” you can see the anger radiating off him. Jungkook is frustrated. With all the thinking he’s been doing, he never would have thought his age would be the problem. At least not to you.He thought you are different. He is sick and tired with people treating him like a kid. He is a man and he can gladly prove it to you.

“No! That’s not it!” you quickly objected. “It was never about your age,” you quietly added underneath your breath. He stopped in his tracks and quirked an eyebrow.

“Then what is it Y/N? What is it that stops you from letting this,” his fingers motioned to the two of you “happen?”

Your gaze dropped to the ground, unable to answer him. You know the reason alright. But its too petty, you are afraid Jungkook would think its stupid.

“I…I’m..”

“What is it?” he is getting impatient. “Fuck this,” he make his move to the door.

“No, stop!” you quickly grabbed his arm again. Jungkook turned to you, raising an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation before he walk out of your door forever. Its now or never, you thought.

“Its because you are an idol!”

Both of you stayed silence after that. You let go of his arm and look down to the floor. How is it that you are eight years older than him but he still managed to make you feel so small?

“What?”

“Its…its because you are an idol…” you repeated in a small voice. Jungkook let out a loud huffed and wipe his face with frustration.

“What the hell do you mean Y/N? What does being an idol got to do with anything? What does it got to do with us being together?!” You kept quiet for a moment, contemplating on the best way to explain it to him.

“I…I cant handle the thought of dating an idol. Of having millions other girls going after you, talking about you,” Jungkook’s eyes flickered in confusion at what you meant. “I…I get jealous easily. If you are mine, then I want you to be mine alone. My past relationships… some is ruined because of my blinded jealousy, but it turns out not to be so blind when most of them really did cheat on me,” your voice small. You look back to your past relationships. Sometimes you dont know if your past boyfriends cheated on you because they are tired of your jealousy or your suspicious jealousy is really spot on. What you do know is that it never worked out.

And a relationship with an idol with girls throwing themselves at him all the time? Its highly likely it wont ever work out.

“What are you trying to say Y/N? That I would cheat on you? Because I’m an idol?”

“Don’t you understand?” you looked closely at his Jungkook’s face. “You are an idol. You have girls chasing afer you everyday, fantasizing about you. Everytime you do a particularly sexy dance move or even wink on stage, I cant help but feel jealous, thinking about how you are doing it for some other girl. Its not healthy Jungkook. I know its not. I cant do that to you. I cant roped you into this kind of a relationship.I rather not be with you at all than ruin what little friendship we have now,”

Jungkook takes slow steps towards you, finally closing the distance between the two of you. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ear, carressing your cheek.

“Is that what this is all about? You are denying me because you thought you will ruin the relationship?” you nodded, closing your eyes as he leaned in closer to your ear. “Let me tell you a secret noona,” you can feel his warm breath touched the tip of your ear, “There’s nothing that I love more than hearing and knowing you want me all for yourself,” his voice is thick with seduction, it sends shivers down your spine.

His hands starts to run across your collarbones and down to the collar of your off the shoulders dress, slowly rubbing and tugging them down.

“I will show you that you have absolutely nothing to be jealous about. I will show you how I am yours and yours alone, noona,” he whispered in your ear before he cupped your chin with one hand and kissed you, while the other pulled the front of your dress down, revealing yourself to him.

/////

You woke up when the bright sunlight of the warm morning hit your face. You tried to move but you felt something heavy constricting you to the bed. You turned to your right and see Jungkook still sleeping soundly, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. You smile and trace his beautiful face. This is the most perfect view to wake up to. You knew then that you will never get enough of this boy. The marks all over his neck and chest makes you blush, taking you back to the events happening the night before.

“Everytime you need a reminder of how I fully belong to you, remember this. Remember this moment right now,” he pants as he thrust repeatedly into you, one of his hands keeping both of yours on the top of your head. “Remember that only.. you.. can..ahh fuck.. make. me.. feel.. this way,” he said between thrust as he keeps on pounding into you. “You are the only one who can turn me to dust, not the other girls. Never them,”

“Jungkook, please, please dont stop,” you begged him.

“Remember only.. you.. will.. ever.. see me… like this. Needy and begging for you. Ahh fuck, you feel so good Y/N,” he quicken his thrust with every word. “Remember that its.. only.. your name.. I’m ever gonna.. scream out,”

“Jung…Jungkook, I’m going to-” you screamed out his name as you came, repeating his name over and over again. Jungkook kept on pounding into you, chasing his own sweet release. You can feel he’s close when you felt him twitch inside of you. He leaned forward closer to your face.

“Remember…ahhh…that I love you Y/N. I love you so much, its not even funny,” he said before he kissed you deeply as he spilled himself into you, moaning your name endlessly between pants.

He rolled away from you after the two of you recollect you senses and look at you, giving you a peck on the lips.

“I love you so much Y/N. From the very first slap,” you chuckled, remembering the memory. “I promise I wont give you a reason to feel the need to get jealous or to not trust me,”

“I know Jungkook. I’m just afraid. I’ve been dating ordinary man all these while and its still a problem, I dont know if I can handle dating an idol. An incredibly handsome and talented one at that,” Jungkook push a strand of your hair away from your face.

“I’m not just an idol Y/N. I am also just a man. A man who’s desperately in love with you,” he pecked your lips. “Being an idol has nothing to do with us. I love you,” he kissed you deeper, more passionately. “Thankyou for giving us a chance, for trying with me. I promise it will be worth it,”

Jungkook made love to you four times that night, each time reminding you that it will always be you, and only you, no matter what he does in front of his fan girls. He whispered words of love into your ears, promising he will be there for you every step of the relationship, until you learned that he really loves you and no jealousy can come between it.

You smile at his sleeping figure, finally admitting to yourself that you are pathetically in love with him, the young idol you slapped when you first met. You realized Jungkook is worth it. He’s worth the try. He’s worth the fight.

“Good morning beautiful,” Jungkook sleepily greeted you, eyes half open but leaning in for a quick morning kiss. He suddenly flipped you over, laying on top of you and kissed you long and deep, his hard erection poking your stomach. Jungkook cheekily smirked at you after he broke the kiss, leaving you breathless and wanting more.

“I think…” he slowly kisses a slow trail down your jawline and towards your neck. “You should be reminded again why you have no reason to be jealous…”

A/N: This fiction is slightly based on the Othello Syndrome, or Suspicious Jealousy.Othello Syndrome is a real psychological disorder in which a person is preoccupied with the thought that their spouse or sexual partner is being unfaithful without having any real proof. Its a real psychological disorder that should be never taken lightly, along with other disorders.

[ajramseyart]

Thoughts on Inkober

First off! Congrats to everyone who completed the challenge! You did great! Congrats to everyone who participated that includes the ones that didnt finish, like me! You did Great! We all did great and be proud of what you accomplished! 

So this year I only made it to 20 drawings. I have never made it that far for inktober. But this year I feel like I learned some things and noticed some stuff.

I did notice some improvements. Last week I started working on paintings I had started earlier in October and September and noticed some mistakes, fixable ones, thank god. But I also feel like approaching drawing a little bit different now to add more depth to light, shadows and form. Its hard to explain. Ill have to do some tests to see how my thought process on that works. 

Posting everyday for inktober on all different social media didnt work out as i planned. For instagram it seemed to hurt my growth and engagement like crazy but noticed it went back to normal after posting every few days so maybe posting on instagram everyday now is bad? Not much growth on twitter but more engagements and conversations which i really enjoyed.

 I saw the most growth on here (tumblr) holy cow! Im not sure what brought you all here, if it was my inktober drawings or my autumn witch painting but thank you and I will start posting more painting content soon, actually earlier today I did. 

Inktober for me this year was exhausting and I started to burn out pretty quickly. I found myself not enjoying October, which is my favorite month of the year.I even got sick this week. Just not a good month. It was just too difficult juggling creating a new idea everyday, completing that idea, taking pictures, fixing pictures, posting to multiple websites and working and with the posts comes the comments, which i loved! I put responding to those first before starting another picture because I appreciated them so much. 

I just realized that i am not the type of artist that can create a completed drawing everyday. I need time to work on something, I am way more happier spending a week on a drawing than a few hours. So I have decided that I will not be doing any more daily drawing challenges. I will still participate in some challenges but I will approach them differently. Maybe do a drawing a week instead of a day. 

Its important for me to go at my own pace instead of rushing and making myself miserable. Its supposed to be fun.  

   For those that follow me and participated in inktober how do you feel now that its over? Will you try it again? Did you learn anything new?

[sarahsilverdog-blog-blog]

One Problem At A Time Ch. 6

NOTHING BURNS LIKE THE COLD

Nothing burns like the cold. But only for a while. Then it gets inside you, starts to fill you up, and after a while you don’t have the strength to fight it.

~George R R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

The three armored trucks drove northwest across rough terrain, and Jackson, Tessa and Dariela bounced along with Morris Brown in the rear of the caravan, heading towards an area the Australian knew to be rife with hybrids. Mitch had rigged a cooler in the back of the truck to keep the blood samples cold and safely cushioned, but even with refrigeration they would only be good for Mitch's purposes for a week so they were to head north, collecting what samples they could, and rendezvous with the others at an abandoned airstrip in San Francisco in six days so Mitch could do what he could with the samples he had.

It felt good to be back out on a safari and Jackson was honest with himself also glad to get away from Jamie- and Mitch, whose decision to let Jamie out of the cell without consulting anyone else was a clear delineation between the two of them and the rest of the team. Mitch was always going to side with Jamie, and Jackson didn’t trust Jamie, she was cold-blooded, dangerous, a liability. She didn’t care who her schemes hurt, who they put in danger. She supposedly cared for Mitch but she'd let a dangerous psychopath inhabit his mind in order to commit a murder, he thought she'd cared about him but she'd still let her novel expose him as Robert Oz's son and he'd had to leave his life behind to go into hiding. He hated leaving Sam behind and his grandson, and he ached to tell his son the truth about them but Sam wouldn't believe him now. Maybe he never would, but he was going to let the boy heal before opening up new wounds.

“So, Dylan, Green," Brown said to Jackson, beside him in the passenger seat, "there's just the four of us now so no worries. Tell me the truth- that's not really your name, is it?”

Jackson just laughed, though Tessa could see his shoulders stiffen from the backseat. "Well, yeah, it is," Jackson answered, "What makes you think it's not?"

Morris Brown was shrewd, no doubt about it. “It started knocking about my noggin when I recognized Miss Campbell. As l said before I’m a big fan of her novel, mostly because after my experiences in Australia during the animal uprising l felt the ring of truth about it, knew that she wasn't just writing about the damn thing, she had lived what she was writing. Now, if know women, the female lead in the novel is most likely based on Miss Campbell herself, and here she is, on a fancy laboratory plane, with Dr. Mitch Morgan, who just happens to be a scientist - and her love Interest- so he of course would be the veterinary pathologist in the book. Mrs. Kenyatta," he nodded at Dariela in the backseat, “strikes me as the lady Army Ranger who married Mr. Kenyatta the safari guide. So, that leaves you, Tessa Williams, who l know to be ex-IADG and only recently acquainted with the group, and you," he winked conspiratorially at Jackson, "Dylan Green, as the remaining piece of the puzzle. Or should l say Jackson Oz?"

Before Jackson could pull an answer together the radio crackled and Brown's guy in the lead vehicle said, "Hey, Brown, there's a herd of rhinos up ahead. Looks to be about ten or twelve of them, on the move, headed north.”

“Copy that, let's round 'em up, get ourselves a blood sample for the Doc!" Brown swiveled around and grinned and Tessa and Dariela in the backseat, then at Jackson as he said in his broad Aussie accent, "Well, Jackson Oz, are you ready for a prehistoric rodeo?"

Jackson grinned back at Tessa. Why deny it anymore? "I have already gone a round with one of these guys," he said, "As the rodeo clown.”

***

The plane was in the air on its way to Alaska. Clementine and Baby Sam were in the kitchen, reheating some of the cold breakfast leftovers for herself and Sam, who was still recuperating in Mitch's room. Abe was working on the sterility cure in the lab and, knowing how little he himself liked to be disturbed when he was in his science zone, Mitch left him to his work and instead migrated to the bar with a tablet, trying to figure out if there were some connection between all of the hybrid animals they knew about that could possibly lead them to the rest they would need, like the links in The Courier had done ten years ago. He barely glanced up when Jamie joined him some time after takeoff, grunting a gruff hello as she went behind the bar and poured them both a drink. He didn't look up at her until she slid onto the barstool next to him, leaning over to see what he had on his tablet. "What are we looking at?" she asked, taking a sip from her cocktail.

He cleared his throat and pulled himself away from the screen taking the glass Jamie slid toward him. "Thank you." He look a long drink, then plunked the glass down and pointed to the tablet screen. "I have been trying to find some kind of connection between the animals Abigail has used to make hybrids. but so far I haven’t been able to come up with a thing. Bears, snakes, wolves, rhinoceros, spiders, goats, mammoths, dinosaurs- they have no common denominator that l can find, unless go back to the original glob of primordial ooze that slithered up onto land." She leaned closer, putting her hand on his leg nonchalantly as she peered at the screen; it honestly wasn't helping his concentration but he certainly wasn't going to ask her to move it either. He noticed she had abandoned her Early Jamie' clothes and was now wearing what he considered Post-Tank Jamie' outfits- skin-tight leather pants and a very complimentary black sweater. He had to admit, while he missed the Jamie of ten years ago, he didnt mind her change in style so much. "How long before we land, and where exactly are we going?”

"Anchorage, about four hours. There have been three reports about our polar bear, all three within a twenty mile radius of the city of Anchorage. When we land we go to the local wildlife refuge, and a park ranger will lead us to where the bear was last seen." Her voice tightened with barely suppressed anxiety, "It's only September and they already have six feet of snow, which is unheard of there." She shivered almost imperceptibly, though Mitch could feel the vibration of her hand that still rested on his thigh and he realized she still hated and feared the cold the way she had after being stranded in Canada so many years ago.

“Hey, it's okay," he said, covering her hand with his, "you don’t have to go, Abe and Clem and l can handle it, you stay here with the baby. He likes you, remember?" He smiled, to lessen the sting he knew she was feeling, the idea that her fear was stronger than herself; his smile faded and he said softly, "Nothing burns like the cold, Jamie. I know you dream about Caraquet, you wake me sometimes, calling out for,” he swallowed and looked away from her, "for Logan, and telling him he has to burn the money because you're freezing…”

She sat back on the barstool sharply, taking her hand away from Mitch's grasp with a jerk and glancing automatically down at her foot, though it had been more than ten years since she had lost her toe to frostbite in the wilds of Canada. "I'll be fine," she said, withdrawing from him at the mention of Caraquet; her PTSD diagnosis had its roots in that town and everything that surrounded it and while she would never step foot in British Columbia again she visited the place often enough in her nightmares. Mitch’s observation was a bit too on the nose because in those awful, paralyzing dreams she was always freezing. so cold she couldn’t move her legs to run, or her arms to fight off the polar bears when they came to attack her and Logan and the other shadowy people on the school bus. In those nightmares Mitch never showed up with the rescue team and they were all killed one by one and then the bear would get its jaws around her throat, claws raking her body as she watched her blood spatter on the windows and she’d wake up in a frigid sweat, hoping she hadn't vocalized the strangled scream that echoed in her mind for hours afterward. And now here she was, flying off into the glacial northern wilds of Alaska to get blood from a polar bear, it was like a nightmare and she was trying to keep it together but her voice was bitter and edgy as she said, "I hope blood will be enough for you. I don't think we want to try to get a polar bear the size of my Mustang on the plane.”

“Oh, I don't know," Mitch said testily, draining his glass in one long swallow, trying not to be hurt by her reaction or to think about his own heartache after Caraquet, still so fresh for him; Jamie’s bewildering retreat from their relationship, the confusion brought on by Allison and his father-he suppressed a wave of sadness at the thought of Max- the emotional upheaval and stupid missteps he made with Jamie that pushed her further away, mistakes which he seemed determined to repeat here and now. He reached over the bar and plucked the bottle of vodka from the rack. "Sometimes you have to shoot for the stars."

It was uncomfortably silent as they both retreated to their shells, but then Jamie tapped her fingers on the bar and said, "Stars...stars...what about constellations? There's a bear, snake, and a goat at least." Mitch looked unsure, but it was a straw to grasp at in their awkwardness so she went to one of the drawers behind the bar where they had searched for the CB radio two days earlier. "l think I saw a star chart here somewhere," she bent over to rummage through the drawer, her back to Mitch, giving him a fine view of her posterior, he poured another drink and downed it in a swallow, his eyes never leaving her as he said, "Of course. Who doesn't keep a star chart on a self-flying plane?”

Jamie pulled out a large square of folded paper and peeled the corners back, peering inside, "Here it is." She unfolded the chart and spread it out over the bar. The night sky opened out before them, and Jamie traced a few familiar star formations, learned from countless nights on the farm, laying outside in the grass on warm summer nights, watching the sky and praying to the Gods- any Gods- to save her mother. The frostiness between them was dissipating with the comfort of action, as Jamie quickly scanned a list of the constellations on the side of the poster-with a grid pattern to tell how to find the constellation in the sky- she let out a breath. "There's so many.”

“Some aren't animals though." Mitch ran his finger down the side of the chart, counting rapidly. "Oh." He looked over at Jamie, "Forty-two.”

“Forty-two. Well, that's quite a few." She added under her breath “It's also the meaning of life, the universe and everything.”

Mitch was bent over the chart but he gave her a sideways smirk. "Nerd”

"English major," she corrected.

Mitch pushed his glasses back on his nose and gave her a quick smile then pointed to the list where Canis Venacti, Canis Major, and Canis Minor were grouped together. "Some of these animals are redundant, for instance there are three different constellations named after dogs; Canister Venacti, the hunting dogs, Canis Major, the Big Dog, and Canis Minor, the Little Dog. Same thing with snakes, serpents, there's Hydra, the water serpent, Hydrus, the water snake and Serpens, the serpent. Two bears, nine different kinds of bird, three different horses, if you count a centaur as a horse, which we do, I think?"

"There are several different kinds of birds but no vultures," Jamie said, "maybe she wasn't exact? Maybe she combined DNA from more than one bird?"

"Well, that's easy enough to test," Mitch said. We have one of the things on board."

"There's no rhinoceros here," Jamie said, skimming the list.

"No, but there's a Unicorn. Monoceros, ‘one horn'.”

"Wait," she said, pointing at the upper portion of the map. "All of these are Northern Hemisphere constellations. Goat, bear, snake, eagle. Unicorn." She shook her head, her red hair swinging to frame her face. "No spider or mammoth though. Or dinosaur."

“But here's Lacerta, the lizard," Mitch said, pointing between Cassiopeia and Cygnus, also in the Northern Hemisphere, "That fits a dinosaur, right? And as for the mammoth," he pointed at another area of the chart, "Cetus, the whale. It's the largest constellation in the Northern sky, and is close to other water signs like Pisces and Aquarius. Whales are the largest mammal but making hybrid whales probably wasn't really an option, or very productive, since they would only threaten sea traffic but the elephant or similar Mammoth is the largest land mammal. Maybe she just adapted. Or maybe we're just grasping at straws.”

“So long and thanks for all the fish," Jamie muttered under her breath, then continued, "And here's Aquila, the Eagle, and Cygnus, the Swan. I guess a vulture could be a cross between an eagle and a swan. Long neck, bad attitude?”

Mitch cocked his head to the side in agreement. "Sounds about right.”

The excitement of possibly finding a link, solving a puzzle was growing, and Jamie said, "That's seven of the eight we know about. The spider?”

“Cancer, maybe? It’s a crab, maybe crabs just had too limited a range for her needs, having to stay close to water, but they would be fairly terrifying so, I don't know, this is all conjecture anyway, just like the spiders and unicorns we’re worried about.” He was getting frustrated, she could tell by the set of his shoulders and the ugly tone creeping into in his voice, though he was trying to tamp it down. "So what's left in the Northern Hemisphere?" he asked.

“Leo, scorpius and draco. Lion, scorpion, dragon." Jamie looked up in alarm. "Oh my God, you don't think she made a dragon hybrid do you?"

Mitch added them up, trying not to show his concern either. "Well if she did that's eleven, and unless she's a Stranger Things fan, that's a weird number.”

"Wait," Jamie said, looking at the chart, "there's this one too. Bootes.”

"Bootes?" Mitch said, wrinkling up his nose under his glasses. “What the hell kind of animal is a Bootes?"

"It's not an animal," Jamie said, looking up at him with concern. "It's The Shepherd.”

***

Getting the sample from the rhino had been relatively easy, it was the eight foot tall goat that had been the bitch.

They were northwest of Boulder, on the Strawberry river about a mile above Starvation Dam in Utah. They had gotten a sample from the rhinos after Jackson snuck up on one with a needle and syringe and ran like hell when the beast turned on him. Brown waited a second or two before turning on the hybrid repellant frequency, just for a laugh, and he was whooping as Jackson jumped into the truck, brandishing the syringe and breathing heavily as the herd thundered away. They kept going northwest until they came to the dam, and Brown started to tell them how the place acquired it's odd name. “So the party of fur trappers were caught in a blizzard but they stumbled on an abandoned Ute Indian camp, only it wasn’t abandoned and when the men came back from fruitless hunting and discovered their only food devoured by white men, they ousted the fur trappers from the camp, and they stumbled to the banks of the river to die of the cold. But in a cruel twist of fate, the Indians perished also because the trappers had eaten the only food they had and they were trapped by the storm.”

“Well that's depressing," Dariela said. "Remind me not to tell it to Isaac for a bedtime story." Thunder rumbled in the distance and a dense brown cloud rolled across the rocky landscape around the river. Brown rolled to a stop beside a large rock formation, with lots of crevices and holes and he got on the radio shouting, "Abandon vehicles! Cover in the rocks!"

Jackson grabbed his rifle and his backpack, helped Tessa and Dariela out and they all ran in confusion to the rocky formation, ducking down into sheltered caves made by the boulders, Brown and his four remaining men jumped down among them, and they crouched down as the rumbling grew louder and louder and the ground began to vibrate beneath them. The rocks began to shake and pebbles and sand sifted down on them as the light suddenly vanished beneath thundering so loud Jackson couldn't even think. He looked up and all he could see was flashes of shadow and bright fur, he looked sideways at Brown who shouted, "Goats!”

Jackson pulled a ready syringe from his backpack, took off the safety cap and motioned for Brown to hoist him up. Brown looked at him like he was insane, then shrugged uneasily and motioned to one of his men to help lift Jackson close to an opening in the rocks.

He waited, knowing he was only going to have one blisteringly quick chance to get any blood at all from one of these monstrous creatures. Now that he was so close he could see them a little more clearly and they were huge- the hooves that flashed within inches of his head were easily the size of dinner plates and looked to be frighteningly sharp. Taking a deep breath, he waited until a shadow was just right, then jabbed the needle up, pulling the plunger as soon as he felt contact and jerking the syringe back down through the rocks as his unwilling subject squealed and kicked, catching his wrist with one of those deadly hooves.

Blood sprayed from his wrist as Brown brought him down; his hand suddenly wouldn't work right and Dariela darted forward to catch the syringe before he dropped it. Miraculously, it seemed to be filled with enough blood for Mitch's uses.

Tessa ran to Jackson, supporting him as she checked his wrist, which was still bleeding but not spraying, and he grinned at her and whispered, "Spicy.”

The herd had passed, a thin haze of dust floated in the air, and after a few minutes Brown climbed out of the rocks and descended back to the riverside. The trucks were destroyed, turned over and trampled into junk, and Jackson and Dariela ran to the one they had been in, digging around for the cooler. Tessa found the first aid kit and wrapped Jackson's wrist and Dariela found the cooler intact, prying open the lid briefly to check the rhino sample and add the goat. "It's all good." Dariela said, "but who is gonna carry this thing? Because those trucks aren't going anywhere.”

“Anybody have a radio?" Tessa asked. "I think we need to call a cab.”

***

They lost track of time going over the star chart, knowing that it was probably a useless endeavor but needing something to do to feel productive. The plane's cool, pleasant PA voice interrupted them when it chimed and said, “Wheels down in Anchorage, one hour." Mitch stretched his arms over his head, groaning at the aching muscles in his shoulders as he leaned away from the chart, thankful that Jamie had changed the plane's voice back from Logan. "So, tell me what we have," he said, as he rubbed his eyes under his glasses.

“Well," she said, "If we run with the Northern Hemisphere constellation theory we have to find a scorpion, a lion, and," she sighed as if she couldn’t believe she was about to utter the words, “a dragon. And a Shepherd”

"The dragon could refer to a Komodo Dragon, but that wouldn’t be much better, those guys are nasty. A Shepherd," he repeated, pushing his glasses back up again, “that can only be Abigail. We need to contact Jackson, tell him what we found and what he needs to be looking for."

Jamie snorted a bitter laugh. "Hey, Jackson, be on the lookout for a dragon!”

Mitch shrugged. "No stranger than a wooly mammoth or a prehistoric rhinoceros. Or earthquake sloths for that matter.”

“Maybe not.” The chilliness between them earlier had gone, but something was up with her, there was something else she wanted to say, he could tell by the way she played with her straw and looked studiously away from him and he sighed, reaching forward to touch her face gently. “What is it, Jamie? I can hear the gears grinding in your head from here.”

It had been nagging at the back of her mind for a while now since finding him alive, - or if she really wanted to pinpoint it, since the first time he put his glasses on and looked at her with his deep brown eyes, and she actually knew it was him, so familiar behind the plastic frames- a kind of unease, a fingernails blackboard feeling, and with the mention of Caraquet earlier, the subject of the cold, she realized what it was that was bothering her: guilt. Guilt for being so distant with him before he...he died, guilt for squandering the time they had on misunderstandings and anger; she had beaten herself up for years over it but managed to put it behind her but here he was, her regret made flesh and bone before her. "I'm sorry, Mitch." She stopped him, knowing he was about to say something about Duncan but she had apologized for that already and this went much deeper. She took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry for how l treated you after l came back from Canada. I'm sorry for all of the time I wasted between us because.. because you had gone on living after you thought I was dead.” The words came tumbling out before she could stop them, and truthfully, she found she didn't want to stop them. She was tired of secrets and lies and darkness. Mitch was the person she trusted most in the world, he was the man she loved, he was her path to the light and she wanted him to know everything while they had time to say it because they had both learned in excruciating ways how easy it was to lose each other in the blink of an eye. She'd almost lost him again over the Duncan fiasco and she knew she couldn't bear to lose him again, and she was going to do whatever it took to make sure she didn’t. "I'm sorry," she gripped the hand that was caressing her cheek and held it tightly, "I'm sorry l gave up on you. knew you weren't dead, l knew it in my heart, I looked for you for years, I followed every lead, l went to Pangaea...I interrogated every Shepherd l caught because I hoped that one would have information that would lead me to you, alive. And then...I lost hope and l gave up. I gave up on you, Mitch Morgan.” She took a deep, hitching breath as tears started to run down her cheeks. "You were alive and l loved you and I gave up on you.”

The only noise was the soft rumble of the planes engines, and Mitch pulled her close as she wet his shoulder with her tears. "When we were on the plane from Africa to DC," he murmured huskily in her ear, "and you kissed me, I couldn’t believe it was happening, couldn't believe that you wanted me, because l had been in love with you since the day you took me to your mother's grave, amazed at the way you were so open about her and how you felt and I- I had been avoiding my emotions for so long...l hid it, because was afraid of a relationship, I was afraid of you, of what you could do to me mean to me if let you in." He swallowed hard, and kissed her forehead. "And when I did let you in, BAM! You were gone-“ he choked a little at the memory of the plane falling, feeling Jamie's hand torn from his as they spun into the icy North Atlantic sea, how he screamed her name and swam from floating body to floating body until Jackson forced him onto a rescue boat, saving him from drowning because he would have died trying to find her. "You were gone, and I didn't go on living. I gave up on everything except trying to drown myself at the local bar. You were alive, I loved you, and I gave up on you too. After only three months, I may add.” He was quiet a moment, feeling her breathing against him. "I’m the one who should be apologizing.” He put his finger under her chin and lifted her face to his. “Then I got a miracle call, and had a reason to live again," he whispered, wiping Jamie's tears away as she gave him a sniffling smile that he returned, remembering how it felt to hear her voice that morning at the bar, to realize that she wasn't gone, that he had a second chance. His heart started to hammer and he rasped, “How about we don't waste anymore time on the past? We have about forty minutes until we land, I bet we can find something to do until then.”

****

“I have something else to tell you." Jamie said, and Mitch peeled an eye open and looked over at her, sprawled against him on the bed.

“No good conversation has ever started with those words," he said, and with a groan lifted his arm to look at his watch. "You have about ten minutes to talk before the plane starts yelling at us to get up for school.”

She rolled over on her side and kissed his chest lightly. "Abe stopped me in the hall shortly after we took off, he wants me to be his test subject for the sterility cure. The formula is finished, he wants to test it soon and since Clem is already fertile, and Dariela isn't here…” His body stiffened almost imperceptibly but she felt it and frowned slightly to herself as she continued, "Anyway, it would only be a test to see if it produces a normal ovulation cycle and a viable egg.”

“So what are you going to do? Wh..what did you tell him?" He looked like a deer trapped in the headlights and she felt kind of bad for springing it on him here, like this. She hadn't meant to, she had intended to bring it up as soon as she found him at the bar but he had been so into his research that she didnt want to interrupt, and well, the time had just never seemed right. Sure, Jamie, this is really the right time.

“I told him that I had someone else to consult about it." she said, looking up at him until he met her eyes. "I think the person who shares my bed every night has a say in whether or not we can suddenly make babies." She felt him relax a little, though he was still eyeing her warily, as if she might produce a child at any time and thrust it at him. She would have found it funny if his reaction wasn’t mildly insulting. "What do you think l should do?”

“I think it's up to you," he said, as he remembered a very important point about the current world. “I’m still sterile so if you want to be the guinea pig who saves the world, go ahead.”

"You're the pig here, Morgan,” she retorted, and then with a flick of her wrist stirred the shit pot just a little. "Are you though? Sterile?" She sat up, the sheet falling away from her as she rose from the bed, bending down to pick up her clothes and Mitch felt himself start to rise even though they had just- God, she was beautiful. He dragged his attention back to what she was saying with difficulty. "Have you been tested since you came back? Because you went into the tank before the TX-14 gas had spread and by the time you came out the gas was probably diffused into the atmosphere enough to not affect you. And there's no telling what Abigail did to you, or what she had planned, she was probably going to make a family of little Abby/Duncan hybrids to rule over her apocalypse kingdom!"

Mitch shot out of the bed liked he'd been fired from a rifle with a look of panicked horror that was so comical Jamie burst out laughing as he pulled his boxers from his pile of clothes on the floor. "That's not funny." he snapped, pulling his clothes on hastily, as if he was suddenly afraid Abigail was going to barge in and force herself on him. It was obvious that this was something that hadn't occurred to him and she was immediately sorry- after all, in Mitch's world three weeks ago his daughter was eleven and now she was twenty and he was a grandfather. Things were upside down for him.

Before she could apologize there was a tentative knock at the door and Abe's somewhat embarrassed voice floated in. “Uh, Jamie? Sorry to...bother you but Jackson just called, they have run into some problems. Apparently their convoy was destroyed by a...” his reluctant sigh was audible through the door. "A dragon.”

***

[tinkdw]

12x22: Dean Winchester is going to die

Well, when I was new, I wrote a whole post about this, about how early episodes but especially 12x11 foreshadowed that Performing!Dean was going to be deconstructed by the end of the season... Fans self.

The death of Performing!Dean in this episode was BEAUTIFUL. It was EXQUISITE. I couldn't have asked for MORE! 

I literally grabbed and punched @amwritingmeta in the leg I don't know how many times as I paused it to point and shout.

1. The Grenade Launcher

So, the grenade launcher = performing!Dean metaphor. We had hoped and boy did they deliver! Did anyone else notice, while Dean was *ahem* knocking down the seemingly unpenetrable physical walls, that, maybe it was my weird link, but it seemed to me that the flashing ‘red’ lights in the MoL bunker were decidedly pinky-purpley in colour rather than standard alarm bells red and the flashlights glowed on the blue side of white... (the MoL HQ lights are also brightly pinky-purple to keep the theme going, I mean honestly what self respecting 1950s MoL guy chose this for the bunker instead of the usual red? Please!) Just saying. 

“It wasn't long ago I thought we had it made. We had Cas back, we had mom back. I mean it wasn't perfect but still...”.  This is it. Dean’s facade has been coming down all season, but at this point now, he just doesn’t see the point in holding it up anymore.

And what does Sam do? HE OPENS UP TO DEAN. He tells Dean how he feels, the reasons why he followed the MoL - that it was “easier than leading”, that he made a mistake. This enables Dean to be truthful himself, in the end, now. Again, they have had many times to reflect on their own deaths but this is another time similar to 11x23 where he can really reflect on what he has lost, and now what is that? Cas and Mary.

Dean uses the grenade launcher, that he’s been dying to do since forever, blows down the impenetrable seeming wall, saves the day. How meta do we need to go? It’s BLATANT. The choice in the colour of the lights, the dialogue, his feelings... the walls are Dean’s facade and the grenade launcher is his way of breaking it down. YES. This has been building all season and much prior to this other meta writers have said that he grenade launcher is associated with Dean’s hidden side, his bisexuality, Destiel etc... this is meta gold, THIS is a meta aspect Dabb was talking about. Toni even then parallels the tearing down of Mary’s mental wall with Dean’s physical use of the grenade launcher, just moments after. It is so well put together :D

Also, I have long believed that the bunker had to go. It represents too much the MoL side of things and the whole ‘living below ground’ thing is way too underground / metaphorically bad. For me they need a real, healthy home which is in between Bobby’s hunter house and the MoL bunker. Hopefully they will find a nice modern MoL home with kit but that isn't so hidden above ground somewhere next season to take over and make their own :D

2. Sam the MoL leader

“Real hunting isn’t just about killing, it’s about doing whats right... I want you to follow me”. We have wanted this for Sam all season, the MoL story fits his personal arc so well (so did Eileen, still bitter), this is Sam’s endgame. Sam said just moments earlier that he didn’t want to lead, but now he is, because it is necessary and because he is good at it. I believe he will now see that this is what he wants and will work towards this for his endgame.

This then leads to...

3. Dean and Sam - ending the brodependency and Dean as Sam’s parent

Dean lets Sam go, the dialogue is amazing. “You’re ready for this... you got this” paralleled with an actual mom/daughter conversation between Jody and Alex. 

Dean literally talks to Sam like a parent letting their child go off to college and I had to pause this for a long long moment to process and scream “they’re actually going there!” not even knowing what was coming next... man...

Then comes the Mary / Dean scene.

4. Dean and Mary

This was always going to be what Mary led to for Dean’s arc. After Amara had started this addressing of Dean’s facade in season 11 and Mary is basically an extension of Amara this season re: Dean (in the same way that she still has to influence Sam’s arc re: Lucifer, that is for next season). I LOVED how BLATANT and textual they made this, the actual lack of subtext because it was all in the ACTUAL TEXT! 

Firstly, Dean considers letting Toni go, which I had expected, to show the difference between our boys (morality) and the MoL as monsters.

Then... “Dad was just a shell...I had to be a father and a mother to keep him safe, and that wasnt fair, and I couldnt do it, and you wanna know what that was like? They killed the girl that he loved, he got possessed by Lucifer, they tortured him in hell and he lost his soul...But I forgive you, for everything.” MY HEART!

Ok, yeah, they did the thing, they brought Jess up 30 mins before killing the guy that Dean loves after not mentioning her for.... A DECADE? And paralleling one of the few scenes we ever saw her in with Dean/Cas too? After we already had the parallel with Dean seeing Cas when driving along, same as Sam did? So, only the scene of Sam and Jess in the bar and the scene where Dean actually meets her haven't been paralleled now with Dean/Cas? I’M LIVING!

But seriously. The rest is exactly what we, the audience needed to understand Dean and to show casual viewers Dean’s inner angst in order to understand the facade coming down, this is exactly what Dean needed. He has come full circle, this is the start of the culmination of the end of Performing!Dean (which Jensen has no said at Jibcon will be furthered in season 13!).

Dean actually TELLS Mary in his mind that he hates her, but that he loves her. That he had to be Sam’s mother and father, and that it wasn't FAIR. This is so important, that he didnt just say that it happend and that it sucked, but that it wasn't FAIR and that he did not DESERVE IT.

This is Dean addressing not just his mother but how HE feels about it, how he feels about HIMSELF, that he is saying that he DESERVES MORE and has SELF WORTH. 

These are all the words I have been using since 12x01 re: Dean . I’m so happy!

5. Ketch kills Toni, Mary kills Ketch after Dean beats him to a pulp, PERFECT, Jody kills Hess, again perfect.

This had to happen to keep our boys on the ‘don't kill humans unless they HAVE to’ side, especially after Dean considered letting Toni go. Thank you.

6. Winchester family reunion 

Sam’s forgiveness of Mary, Dean’s reaction to the happy family hug (it’s great but someone is missing...). “Who we are... we kick ass. We save the world” 

SAM AND DEAN ARE ACCEPTING THEMSELVES THIS SEASON. In 12x09 Sam said it, now Dean says it. After all the angst this episode and for Dean all season...

This whole episode was for me the culmination of the deconstruction of Performing!Dean this season, which has been the main theme carried through on the character - driven side of things, it was beautiful.

In many ways I view this as the character - led season finale and 12x23 as the plot - led season finale (which I will post my thoughts on right up next).

I cannot WAIT to see the result of this episode come across next season. 

We have not only now Performing!Dean pretty much dead or on his way out, the Dean Winchester is going to die metaphor was fully used and was fantastic, but coupled with Cas being brutally taken away from Dean, the parallels with 2 key canon romantic couples (Sam/Jess and Cain/Colette) in this within SECONDS of each other, plus the Jibcon revelations that we will see more of Dean’s reaction to this in season 13, apparently crying (and Jared not even hiding Destiel jokes now) make me pretty much 100% convinced Destiel is really endgame now.

Aside from this we now have Dean accepting himself, his internal self acceptance arc coming to a close, Sam’s MoL arc coming up and I will touch on the other aspects of the story for Sam in the next post as they are relevant to Lucifer / Jack, and Cas’s arc too...

Season 13 is already set up for exactly the endgame I am wishing for!

Tink’s Endgame Wishlist :

- Mol! Sam (and Eileen, Chuck I’m still bitter about that though, I really hoped her death would turn out to be a misdirection). Pretty much CHECK.

- Hunter / Mol collaboration with Sam and Dean as leaders. Pretty much CHECK.

- End of the brodependency, Dean acknowledging he was Sam’s parent and letting him go. CHECK.

- End of Performing!Dean. Pretty much CHECK.

- Human!Cas and self worth and belonging for his arc. TBA probably next season, what happened this season makes no sense if not to lead to this.

- Destiel. Pretty much CHECK. (And now after seeing Jibcon and the boys just joking about it all the time? Yeah, I don't think they have an issue with this!).

- ALL THE RAINBOWS

[thecharlesdilaurentis-blog]

Maya and her part!

**WARNING SUPER LONG IM SORRY**

Recently a fan tweeted Marlene asking if mayas storyline was over and she replied saying their may be a bit more to it. So I went back and tried to see what I could make out of the maya clues and how she fits into everything. 

I always love maya and emaya but her character always seemed a bit sketchy at times kinda like alison. (remember this)

when her and emily first meet she seems REALLY interested in getting to know emily, she was asking tons of personal questions about ali and herself, answering questions with a question, and she was being super friendly and almost choosy with her words, almost as if she had other intentions when she met her. What if she was told to get close to her? (Kind of like ezra & cece already knowing who all the girls were and jenna already knowing alison) 

In S1: “The jenna thing”, maya meets spencer and when her and emily go back to her house she says “I get your connection to spencer, you both like to win.” and emily replies “well winnings great but usually if I do my best im happy with the outcome.” and maya chooses to move the topic to spencer by asking how she feels about winning which always kind of stuck out to me. Emily tells her spencer HAS to win.

I just never quite understood why Maya only really asked questions about spencer, I know you could argue she was just trying to get to know emily but throughout the episodes maya’s in we don’t really see her interested in knowing about all the liars to me it seemed like she asked about spencer only because she reminded her the most of Ali.

& then maya moves the conversation to Alison again saying how she seemed like she was always the center of attention. Then tells emily she usually runs from those girls. Em says “you don’t look like the type of girl who runs from anyone” and Maya moves the convo to something else. (WHO U RUNNIN FROM MAYA)

Also later in the night when emily turns around maya immediately goes and cuddles with her almost like she KNOWS emily was in the closet. She said she had a boyfriend & i dont think it was something she just did in her sleep. + the A alerts afterwards were right on time, something was up. 

this also happens again when they kiss in the photo booth and A steals the strips right away. & maya tells emily not to worry about it that it there was probably just no more paper & drags her away. MAYA WAS IN ON IT THE WHOLE TIME. She was used to bring em out the closet and let A use it against her. 

Also in S2: “I must confess” Maya is scene wearing the exact same tory burch boots -A ordered online. (couldnt find a pic though)

But I think somewhere along the way maya started to really develop feelings and wanted out but A/AD or someone connected to them had stuff on maya forcing her to stay in it so she chooses to run away but A gets her first and kills her before she can get far.

Now lets go back to what I said earlier about her kind of acting like Alison

In the pilot maya asks emily if shes ever smoked and em replies No. Maya says this and the way she says it for some reason really just reminds me of something Ali would say. 

& then later in the episode Spencer sees who she thinks is Ali in Mayas room (ali’s old room) 

But what’s odd is that this person is wearing the same tank Maya was wearing the whole episode.

now this can be explained in a couple ways, either:

1. maya found a blonde wig while looking through the dilaurentis house and tried it on to pretend to be ali.

2. that was really or ali or maybe an ali twin and she was talking to maya & wearing a similiar top? (this one seems too much but wouldnt be surprised if the writers went this way.)

3.maya bought a blonde wig & was really trying to pretend to be someone maybe a trick she learned from a real blonde she knew who liked to wear wigs & be someone else.

       - i’m thinking its this last one! (or i hope it is)

In S2E12: “eye of the beholder” Jason tells em & spencer that maya found some of Ali’s old things in the attic, “Like they were hidden” he thought they threw everything away but maya kept some things, maybe b/c she knew what they were for.

Another thing I wanna point out is maya has mentioned on more than one occasion (1.02 & 1.12) that she has trouble sleeping. I mean I would have trouble sleeping too if I was worried my secrets may catch up to me.

Now I know there a lot of maya theories & some have even said they think she’s A. I don’t think I could really hop on board with maya being A but I do think when mona said “MAYA KNEW” she really meant maya fucking knew, like she knew the game & knew what was going on & just how dangerous A could really be. 

Okay so, we all know there seems to be a couple different teams when it comes to PLL and their alliances. Theres, 

AD & Cece (& maybe someone else? idk yet still looking into this)

Theres the Liars 

Then theres AD’s pawns (Jenna, Noel, Lucas, Shana, Alison (sometimes), Garrett, Mona etc.)

Well i think maya started off as one of these pawns but like all the people above at some point they wanted out and like I said above its likely so did she. 

It’s possible that maybe Ali and Maya knew eachother prior to her disapperance maybe they met on vacation… at cape may.

I saw this picture when I searched up maya clues on google and I almost screamed! I think this Analyzing A tumblr acct found it so i’ll put her link:

http://analyzinga.tumblr.com/post/44225287853/major-clue-possible-spoiler-alert

Could this mean this is Maya’s unnamed brother? Did she also hang out with Ali, Cece, & Melissa during that summer? Or was she scared of them like she mentioned to emily about attention seeking girls like Alison?

Now I heard from twitter it may be fake but still why would they make the mistake of putting it in the credits? Idk I just think it would be a nice twist for maya to have a deeper connection to Ali than just living in her house. 

UPDATE: MARLENE SAID WE’RE MEETING AN UNKNOWN RELATIVE OF MAYA’S! Some people meationed that reporter Aria went off on in 7.12 may be her brother but I couldn’t find a pic and I didn’t wanna sit through hulu commercials to find out so if someone finds the pic reblog it cause I wanna knowwww!

I mean we find out they had to have known each other either way or at least met before b/c they were both staying in the kahn cabin around the same time!

Also when Ali and Maya’s body are found the scene is so similar they even play the same song.

I think at first Alison gave Maya the idea to fake her death & Noel, Garrett, & Jenna helped her carry it out. 

Marlene also posted this pic on insta w/ 2 dolls that w/ the hashtag #emison but to me the 2 dolls look more like ali and maya then ali and em. Idk I just think there’s alot more to their relationship than we know right now. 

Now lets talk about the night mayas body was presumably found:

Maya trys to call emily but she cant get service so it never goes through, I don’t think this was maya b/c her phone was already stolen by this point. I think A just was trying to distract emily to mess with hanna.

Jumping ahead to when Mona falls off the cliff, we get a zoom in on her watch that says its 12am. The girls then go back to their houses and the cops have a body they think is Mayas.

BUT we later see this video of Maya at the kahn cabin at 1:14am

So are we just really gonna believe it took the liars OVER 1hr & 30m to get to thier houses?? B/c maya had to have got kidnapped and then dragged over to emilys back yard from the cabin and murdered. Which just in my head doesn’t add up with the timeline.

In addition to this I noticed when Maya gets pulled out of the cameras view it doesn’t necessarily mean she was captured by A, I think theres a good chance it was Ali who pulled on her to take her out of view and talk to her. We know Ali was staying there too so maybe she already knew where the cameras were and didnt wanna take any chances being seen seeing as this was before A supposedly knew Ali was alive. 

Now lets talk about after her “Death”:

We find out Maya went to the kahn parties often and met holden before, she was also friendly with Jenna, we see her get into a car with garrett the night she died (But we know he didnt kill her because he was arrested at 12am) & its when Nate (lyndon) is introduced and he is accused of being the one who killed Maya. 

Nate never openly says he killed Maya, in fact some of the things he says when he tries to kill paige kind of indicate he thinks emily has something to do with her death. 

He says “Im gonna do to you, what you did to me. Im gonna take someone from you & you are gonna watch me do it.” 

Its also been speculated that Maya was involved in the night em dug up Ali’s grave b/c they used her bottle of pills to drug her (which was also prescribed after she died) & flashbacks she remembers having + jenna lies to her saying she found her on the street drunk when spencer asks why she lied she says b/c she’s protecting a friend.

This was also one of the flashbacks she remembers having,

LIKE COME ON WHO ELSE WOULD WRITE THAT???

Most of me really does believe Maya did end up really dying sometime later before the end of season 3 or in the beginning of season 4 

The girls do find this carved into the dollhouse in S6 maybe AD found maya & took her to the doll house to be his Ali for a while before Mona got there.

But idk i’ve also read alot of theories w/ extra clues and reasons she could indeed still be alive helping out emily and hiding from AD or might even be bethany young herself. So theres that lol. I’m just excited to know that Maya still is relevant b/c her character had so much potential, hopefully mar doesn’t fuck it up!!

Reblog & tell me what you think, do you think maya’s still alive or dead? & if she wasn’t the person in the body bag in 2.25 then who was? 

[mdd3k1]

Advantages of Dreaming

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Advantages of Dreaming

ADVANTAGES OF DREAMING

Top 5 advantages to dreaming – dreams are healthy – top supplements to take for dreaming

A dream is a wish your heart makes- “Walt Disney”

  In ancient times, people were fascinated by dreams.  It was seen in a religious context by the Greek and Romans who believed that it could be a message from the gods.  Even from the dead.  At that time people dedicated their time to seek the interpretation of their dreams for solutions on what to do or what course of action to take in their day to day lives.

Aristotle believed that dreams were an outcome of physiological functions and could be used to diagnose illness, predicting the onset of diseases.  He saw dreams as a function of our imagination or divination through sleep and he believed that our dreams were formed through the perception of our mind.

  During the medieval times, dreams were seen as evil and its images were temptations from the devil.   The Chinese believed that the soul leaves the body to go in this dream world.  Be it as it may, we have the power to believe a dream or not.  Understanding dreams is not an easy task, people have been trying to understand their dreams for centuries, and those acts of trying to understand gives dream’s their meaning.

  It’s true that dreams can be complex, but there are simple steps you can apply to understanding your dream and make sense of it.

  Trust yourself to interpret your dream and do not rely on someone explaining your dreams to you. This is a big problem people have.  Asking others what it means.  If you ask several people, you will see that they all will joke about it or interpret it differently.  There is no point in asking others.

Consider having a dream journal; this will help you to take note of your dreams, the events that occurred, the environment and location it took place.

Write down the characters you saw in your dream. Remember, some characters in a dream appear there for some reason so try to understand the imagery or role each character played in the dream whether negative or positive. You have to view your dream as prose or drama or some kind of literature.

Ask yourself what happened in your dream and write it down. Did you see any character familiar to you in your waking life? What were their emotions? Did you see animals or symbols? A psychologist, Dr. Jung believed that we are all connected through an aspect of our unconscious, called the “collective conscious.” There have even been reports where you might see someone that looks familiar, and turns out, maybe you saw them in a dream but never in real life.

Was there something like a fairy tale in your dream (universal symbols)? For instance, a wise old man or woman or healer. If you saw such symbols, try to decode what they meant in the context of your dream.

Connect your dreams to your previous dreams. Are they related? Is it part of a repeating dreaming scenario? If so, what are the possible shared meanings?

  For example, every morning I would note my dreams in Evernote and after a while I was able to interpret better and even tie specific dreams together.  I noticed that I was dreaming about old locations in my real-life a lot.  Old schools, jobs, and all of the people in my life.  The dreams always tied to past locations and people and would even mix them up.  It would make me want to spend time with those people and even remind me to check on them.  So many examples for another blog!

ADVANTAGES OF DREAMING.

  DREAMS HELPS WORK OUT OUR EMOTIONAL ISSUES.

According to Rosalind D. Cartwright, PhD, professor emeritus of psychology at Rush University in Chicago, and author of the twenty- four Hour Mind: The Role of Sleep and Dreaming in Our Emotional Lives, dreams could be a way to help regulate your mood.

  Professor Cartwright described dreaming as a means for regulating negative emotion during paradoxical sleep (REM). In her research, negative experiences are awakened during sleep and carried forward to the REM, where it is matched with a similar feeling to earlier memories, a network of older associations is stimulated and displayed as a sequence of compound that we experience as dreams. The merging of old and new memory fragments adjusts the network of emotional self-defining memories and organizes a positive picture as a dream for the sleeper.

So dreaming helps you to work out your emotional issues by giving you a positive perspective about your emotions and challenges.  With me, every single time I wanted to get over an ex-girlfriend, I would consistently dream about them.  I believed that it was the minds way of getting closure to that relationship.

  ACCESS TO YOUR INTERNAL WORLD.

Your dreams show you an insight into what is happening in your internal world, in your environment, and with people around you. It gives you access to the future and this insight helps you prepare for the successful results you desire. In addition to correcting your mistakes, the warnings and predictions will protect you and help you achieve all your goals.

  DREAMS HELPS ONE UNDERSTAND THE MYSTERY OF DEATH.

Death is a sting and nothing is bitter as the death of a young person. The superconscious wisdom that comes with dreaming and the ability to visualize will help you learn how to prevent untimely death and premature death of your children and spouse.

  DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR INTELLIGENCE.

Dreaming helps you to solidify your memories. The semantic memory helps you to sharpen your ability to remember facts while the episodic memory helps you when you want to acquire new skills and brings to perfection the ones you already have.

This is highly beneficial to students and athletes. So dreaming helps you to anchor everything you learned during the day and consciously choose other things you want to reinforce in your memory.

  Dreams help you in decision making, health issues, and relationship. It also guides you in any area you might be experiencing struggles or difficulties. Your dreams allow you to be a princess, the queen of the ball, or that old wise woman who sparks up her environment and adds life to it. More so, you have the power to reject any negative dream it all depends on your ability to develop your conscious mind, your zeal to wield the power of your mind.

I dream heavily and since I take so many supplements I didn’t know if it was the foods that I ate or the supplements that were causing me to dream.  I began taking skate liver oil for my pineal gland and it really impacted my dreaming.  But later down the line, about 2 years later, I stopped taking one of my HGH supplements that had Alpha GPC in it and my dreams began to fade.  I realized that it was the Alpha GPC in combination with other supplements that were causing me to dream so well.

Here is something crazy that happened to me:  I’ll probably do another blog where I actually break down all my dreams in a single blog.  But in order to understand dreams, you have to know more about the person.

I was dreaming so much that there were things i was remembering in my dreams that only happened in other dreams.  I didnt remember these things in real life until i dreamed them.  For example, I was talking to my real-life cousin in my dream and he mentioned someone in the dream that never existed in real life, but in my dream i remembered this person that he was describing from another dream, and said “Oh yeah, Kevin, i remember him from last time he came over.”  This is after dreaming deeply for a while. Kevin never existed in real life, only in the dream world, and my dreams started to relate.  This leads me to believe that dreams are truly another reality – something separate from our own world. Another dimension of sorts, but we dont have it all figured out yet and part of the reason that we dont is because we dont dream enough due to the amount of poison (from food, air, stress) our body experiences this day and age.  I do know that brain supplements (like Alpha GPC) in combination with good fats like cod and skate liver oil will cause you to dream.  If you take anything for your pineal gland like Neem, dark chocolate, etc, they can help, too.

  “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” – Eleanor Roosevelt.