#also if he ever reads that tag specifically we are all dead

[rottingparts]

Taste

[Ironhide x Fem!Human!Reader x Ratchet]

Summary: You like the Autobots... Specifically Ratchet and Ironhide. You are sure no one ever has to know, but when a coworker confesses to you things go down hill fast.

Word Count: 2,200+

Warnings: SMUT, 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI! Not beta'd, Oral (Fem Receiving), mentions of anxiety, weird guy behavior (not from the bots), nothing too bad, let me know if I should tag something though!

A/N: This was written because I'm very self indulgent and cringe is dead! That being said, this was written with Plus Sized!Reader and also Neurodivergent!Reader in mind! BUT! It doesn't have to be read that way! Also, this isn't set in a specific movie. Everyone is alive and happy :)

No one had to know you adored alien robots, no one needed to know. Especially your earth friends. Or the robots themselves for that matter. Absolutely no one was going to know. It was definitely a secret you could and should keep to yourself.

You had been working closely with the autobots, and had ended up in the lab with several of them, helping with whatever they needed. Ratchet seemed the most grateful for that. You were both learning and helping  each other at the same time. He got to learn more about human culture and you got to learn about Cybertron.

That is where you started to realize you maybe liked robots a lot more than humans. Ratchet was so sweet and thoughtful.

One day, while working with Ratchet, Ironhide entered the lab. You had little interaction with him before that moment and were honestly kind of nervous around him. But as you got to know the weapons specialist you started to like him as well…

But… No one had had to know.

Until, one of your scientist friend’s decided to drop the worst bomb possible right in your lap.

“Hey.” A voice that was not Ironhide’s or Ratchet’s rang through the lab. You rolled your eyes involuntarily before turning around to look at him. “We need to talk.”

“Oh,” Your eyes widened momentarily, “That’s a good way to greet someone, Mark.”

“What?” Mark looked taken aback.

“I have anxiety, that’s not a thing I generally like to hear…”

“Oh,” Mark visibly grew anxious, causing you to mimic the panic. “Well, I just, I wanted to ask you out-”

You froze, “Like on a date?”

“I mean, like if you’re into it-”

“I’m sorry,” You interrupted him quickly, not thinking much about him not finishing his sentence, “You’re my friend-”

It was his turn to cut you off. “You’re friend zoning me? I like you a lot!”

“You can get over that, don’t worry.”

Mark’s eyes narrowed. “Is this- Are you-”

You cocked your head at him as his wheels turned in his big scientist brain. Something clicked. But not necessarily correctly. Wires crossed somewhere.

“You’re fucking the robots!” His voice echoed through the lab.

You figured ‘No, but I want to be,’ was not a tactful answer. So, you did the next less tactful thing. Which did not help your case at all. You grew defensive, and yelled back. “No!” It sounded more like a question than a statement. “Why would I- What are you on about?”

“You hang out with- with those-”

“Autobots.”

“Shut up!” He was growing furious. Your eyes widened and you decided to get the fuck away from him. Without thinking you turned to walk away and his hand grabbed your shoulder, turning you right back around. “You are fucking the robots!”

You were frozen. The large hangar door opened and Ironhide and Ratchet walked in, seemingly aware of the yelling.

“What’s going on?” Ironhide’s voice was gruff and his optics were narrowed. “Why are you yelling at Y/N?”

You swallowed. “You aren’t helping my case…” You turned around, speaking through gritted teeth.

“Wow,” Mark scoffed, “you picked these two?”

“Picked us for what?” Ratchet cocked his head.

“Oh, don’t play dumb,” Mark rolled his eyes, “I figured out she was with you two.”

“Are you delusional?!” You finally snapped at him. “They would never like me like that! Drop this shit, get over me, and fucking leave!”

Mark stood there, staring at you, gawking. This time, whatever he was thinking, was definitely right. “You… You do like them…”

Ironhide crouched down, closing in on the scientist. “It’s best if you leave.” He growled out. “She won’t ask again.”

Mark gulped and decided it would be best to leave. You groaned and placed your head in your hands. “Thanks for that,” You sighed. “I didn’t know if he’d ever leave me alone.” You stood up straight and looked at Ironhide and Ratchet, “Well… Um. I’m gonna go to bed.”

“It’s mid afternoon, you do not go to sleep until after dark. Usually around ten o’clock.”

“Why do you know that?” Ironhide interrupted Ratchet.

“For the exact same reason you know what time Y/N is gonna be in the lab everyday of the week.”

Ratchet spoke with a matter of fact tone. He crossed his arms and for a moment, a brief moment, Ratchet and Ironhide’s optics met and they seemed to be glaring at each other. You were fast to jump in and break it up.

“Hey! I find it enduring! It’s nice you’ve picked up on those things! Well… It is a little weird that you know what time I go to bed… Who needs that knowledge?”

“Exactly!” Ironhide threw his servos up, “It’s weird!”

“But!” You went to reassure Ratchet, “It definitely isn’t as weird as what just happened!”

There was an awkward silence, one that you could only smile for so long for. Yoursmile grew awkward and your eyes went from Ratchet, to Ironhide, back to Ratchet, and dropped to the ground. You scratched the back of your neck and swallowed hard.

“Mark was right, wasn’t he?”

“I’m not fucking anyone!” Your hands went up and your eyes widened. “No,” Ironhide grumbled, his optics rolling, “he said you liked us. And I’m assuming he means the kind of ‘like’ that means you want to be more than friends.”

You did the only thing you could think of, “Aw, do you guys count me as a friend?”

“This isn’t about us.” Ironhide started.

“Yes it is.” Ratchet finished. “And yes we do. But, speaking for both of us here, we ‘like’ you.” He put air quotations around the word ‘like’.

Your eyes widened and you smiled. “Really?!”

Ironhide looked like he wanted to beat the shit out of Ratchet, but only briefly. “Don’t ever speak for me again.” His voice rumbled, and he glared at Ratchet. Then he turned towards you, optic ridges resting, causing his optics to soften slightly, and he crouched down to your level. “You seemed awfully enthusiastic at that confession-”

“I like, um- I would love to be more than friends with both of you…” Ratchet lit up, Ironhide close behind. You all three stood there a moment. “What now?” You asked. “I’ve never confessed to anyone, much less two someones.”

Ironhide and Ratchet seemed about as confused as you were, until an idea struck you. “Remember, Ratchet, when you said you wanted to learn more about human anatomy… Up close, and personally?”

It clicked for both Ratchet and Ironhide. Immediately they were closing in on you. “Wait!” You put our hands up. “We don’t need anyone walking in on us… I’ll lock the main doors, you go lock the hangar door. And, someone take care of the camera-”

Ironhide was quick to obliterate the camera in the corner of the room. Your eyes widened at his eagerness and you ran towards the door to lock it. You were back at the center of the room in what felt like seconds and you waited for Ratchet to return after he locked the door.

“Where to start…?” Ironhide examined you closely.

“I could get rid of these clothes for starters.” You were eager to begin stripping, and you were quickly exposed to them, standing in your underwear. Vulnerability hit and you began fidgeting. You weren’t sure where that burst of confidence came from, but it was suddenly gone.

“We do not have to do this. Not now, if you don’t want to.” Ratchet noticed your nervousness.

“Um, no! I want to! Really!” You swallowed hard, sure the sound echoed through the room, “Uh, I've never been this exposed in front of uh, Cybertronians…?” You sounded confused, your arms hugging you tightly.

“No worries,” Ironhide was closer to you than Ratchet, his optics observing you, “We’ve never never been this close to an organic before-” He looked like he wanted to get rid of your underwear.

Ratchet moved closer to you when you dropped your arms to your sides and it was his turn to observe. He reached out for you and even though you did not flinch away, he paused. “May I?” He politely asked.

“Of course.”

One of his fingers touched your stomach and when you sucked in from the cool feeling, Ratchet flinched back. You reassured him you were fine and he continued. “You are very soft,” He made mental notes. His hand grabbed for your waist and gave you a gentle squeeze. He pulled away and Ironhide started to butt in.

“My turn.”

Ironhide needed to know how soft you were. He grabbed for your thigh and the soft flesh moved with his hand. Ironhide cocked his head and looked at you. “Comfortable enough to get rid of these?” When you nodded, he asked another question. “Are they important to you?” You shook your head. They were ripped from you. The cool air caused you to gasp and close your legs.

“Why is it so damn cold in here?” You groaned.

“I don’t think you’ll be cold much longer…”

You relax and inhale deeply. With legs still slightly crossed, you reach to undo your bra. You let it fall to the floor and Ironhide and Ratchet are both very close to you again, looking at your breasts. You can’t help but awkwardly smile at them, Ironhide reaching out to touch them.

“I never knew how soft you would actually be-” Ratchet was in awe. “-I could just-”

He didn’t know what he could do. Him and Ironhide were stunned. Ironhide made the first move. “Get on the table right there.” With a nod, you obliged. You hopped onto the cool table and awaited more instructions. “Hm,” Ironhide was taking mental notes now, “You are very obedient.”

“She deserves a reward.” Ratchet was smiling.

“She’s much too small for our spikes-” Your eyes widened at Ironhide’s words, “-but I think I know a way to reward her.”

Ratchet did not have time to ask ‘how?’. Ironhide was moving too fast for Ratchet to have time to say anything. Your thighs were gently grabbed, Ironhide’s large servos being extremely gentle with you. Your legs were spread and Ironhide was in your business instantly. You leaned back slightly and waited for Ironhide’s next move.

“You aren’t much different than us in this department.” Ironhide examined you closer than before. “Can I- Hm, can I taste you?”

You wanted to hide your face. “Sure-” That was all it took. Ironhide’s head was between your legs, practically keeping them spread. His tongue was lapping at you, slowly at first. His optics were closed and he was obviously focused on every inch of you. You fell back on your forearms, resting them on the cool metal of the table. You stifled a moan.

“Be loud.” Ratchet blurted out, “We want to know how you feel.”

You nodded and as soon as Ironhide found your clit you let out a loud moan. Your head fell back and your eyes shut. A soft hum fell from your lips and your breathing quickened.

Ironhide kept doing his thing and caught on very quickly on what pace you liked and how roughly he could hold you.

“Ironhide-” You moaned out, “I’m gonna-” Your nails were digging into your palms. Ironhide understood. Your hips bucked upwards and Ironhide rumbled against you. It drove you over the edge. You were coming undone against his mouth and Ironhide was smiling against you.

A loud moan echoed through the lab as you came. You had half expected Ironhide to keep going, but suddenly, the feeling of him between your legs was gone.

“My turn,” Ratchet mimicked Ironhide’s earlier words.

“Did you just pull me away?

“Yes, I would like a taste,” Ratchet positioned himself between your legs, not even giving Ironhide his attention when he talked. Ratchet’s servos placed themselves on your waist and you leaned back again.

Ratchet was quick to begin to tongue fuck you. His tongue swirled around your clit before licking stripes up your pussy. His optics were not closed. They stayed on your eyes. He maintained eye contact with you as he ‘tasted’ you. He would slowly blink at you, and you were too stunned to look away.

Your hips bucked and Ratchet was quick to push them back down. You let out a soft whine and looked over at Ironhide briefly, who was just… watching. You looked back at Ratchet and everything in you started to tense. A knot formed in your stomach and you were coming undone again.

“Ratchet!” You exclaimed with eyes shut, head thrown back, and body tensed. Ratchet did not slow. You were squirming beneath him. “Fuck!”

A knock came from the hangar door. The only thing causing Ratchet to stop in his tracks.

You writhed with pleasure once he let you go, not registering the knock. You lied on the table and heard Ironhide shout something. You looked up and saw Ironhide with your clothes in one of his servos. He was trying to hand them to you.

“Hey,” Hound yelled from the other side of the hangar door, “Why do-” He paused, “Why do I smell… ‘Fluids’?” As soon as the words left his mouth were rushing to get dressed. “Is there a human in there?”

“Go away!” Ratchet yelled back.

“Ratchet and Ironhide?” Hound bellowed back, laughing loudly, “You both have a human in there?”

“The other scientists,” You started, finishing getting dressed, “they’re going to be here soon, asking about that camera. I should go…” Ratchet and Ironhide looked at you, optic ridges rising. “But, this doesn’t have to be it, not if you don't want it to be!”

Ratchet and Ironhide nodded, “We aren’t done with you yet.”

[7-wonders]

Requiem

Michael Langdon x Reader (Mad Love Act II, Chapter XVI)

Summary: It's all led to this, and now, you have to face off against Michael to get your world back.

Word Count: 6.3k

A note from the author: This chapter is so, so dark. Sorry? Also, this chapter relies a lot on the she/her pronouns this story was first started with btw. (more notes at the end)

I noticed when posting this that it looks like the previous chapter didn't load a lot of tags. If you got tagged in this and are like "wait how did we get to the fight already?" you missed the last chapter! Click on the Mad Love Masterlist to read Chapter 35. :)

Content warnings for this chapter include graphic depictions of injury and death. Reader discretion is advised.

Mad Love Masterlist

Mallory warned you prior to leaving your room that the residents of Outpost 3 were all dead, murdered at the hands of Ms. Venable and her poisoned apples (you try not to dwell on your own poisoned apple experience). All the preparation in the world doesn’t prepare you for the shock of seeing two dead bodies, those of Coco and Dinah, in the large foyer of the Outpost. Shock turns to revulsion as one of Mallory’s friends and other witches yanks a knife out of Coco’s skull with little more than a wince. When she stands, she points the knife at you.

“She gonna help us?” she asks warily.

“She is.” Mallory turns to you, pointing first to the woman with the knife and next to another woman standing near the stairs. “This is Queenie and Zoe.”

You wave sheepishly. “It’s nice to meet you two.”

Zoe smiles kindly, but Queenie just appraises you with a look that says she doesn’t trust you. You can’t say that you blame her, though you wish she didn’t have a reason for this reaction. Mallory leaves your side to kneel in between the two dead women, and you watch as she takes a deep breath and breathes out onto Coco’s face before repeating her movements with Dinah.

It takes mere seconds for the two to shoot up, gasping for air and trying to get used to once again inhabiting a body.

“Welcome back,” Mallory says.

“What just happened?” Coco asks, her elaborate hairdo impressively staying put after all of that.

“You died. And now, you’re no longer dead.”

“Oh.” She frowns, rubbing at the spot where a knife sat moments ago. “Fuck, that sucked.”

“Are you going to explain why you tore us from our afterlives?” Dinah snaps, standing up.

“It’s time to fix this entire mess. To defeat Michael, we need all the help we can get.” Mallory eyes Dinah specifically. “From both of you.”

“You’re on your own with that shit,” Dinah declares. “I’m not here to defeat anyone.”

Maybe it’s not your place, but you feel like you can help to convince Dinah. You take a step toward here. “Please, I really think that—”

“How can any of you defeat me, when I’ve already won?” A voice, so familiar to you that it could be your own, comes from the stairs.

You almost don’t want to look at him. If you don’t, maybe you can remain in this stasis where you’re simply preparing to undo the apocalypse, instead of being faced with the reality that you’re about to fight your own husband, the man who, despite all of the horrors he’s committed, remains your love. When you do tear your eyes away from Dinah, you see that he’s not even taking notice of your presence. No, he only has hate-filled eyes for the Supreme.

Michael’s changed into a blood-red jacket, which makes it obvious that he was expecting this showdown to happen. Ms. Mead stands off to his left side, ever the small, imposing bodyguard. Mallory steps forward, along with most of the group. You can’t bring your feet to move, so you remain back with Dinah.

“You haven’t won,” Mallory says. 

“Perhaps you haven’t noticed the state of the world.”

Queenie scoffs. “At least the world can be saved. Unlike your bitch ass.”

Michael smirks proudly. “The seventh seal has been broken. Wormwood has fallen from the sky and turned the rivers to blood and fire. The bottomless pit has been opened and my swarms of locusts and scorpions have ravaged humanity. The world has been remade in my father’s image.”

When he speaks like this, of biblical imagery and prophecy, he turns into a person you don’t care to know. He turns into the Antichrist.

“Almost.” Mallory smiles. “Pretty sure he didn’t imagine a world where there were still witches, so you failed there.”

Michael finally takes in the full group, and his haughty demeanor falters when he sees you. Softly, he utters your name. “What are you doing?”

You swallow thickly, willing your voice not to shake. “I think you know.”

“I do. You’re going to betray me?

Mallory tries to grab your arm as you move in front of her, but you can’t be stopped now. “This is not betrayal. I’m doing this because I love you, and I can’t bear to be faced with the monster that you’ve become any longer. Now, we have a chance to save the world, Michael. Help me undo this mess.”

“Michael,” Mallory gets his attention once more. “Your father never commanded you to end the world in this way. Jeff and Mutt, the two that ran Kineros, were the ones who thought a nuclear apocalypse was the solution. They controlled Ms. Mead and gave her the commands to tell you that this was Satan’s plan. Satan was just happy to take credit when he realized that you were going to cause anarchy.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Michael says.

“Is it? They told me so themselves, when I went to Kineros to ensure that Coco would be in this Outpost.”

He rolls his eyes. “This is such an obvious lie, I’m a little offended that you would think I’d fall for it. Right, Ms. Mead?”

Michael looks to his left, expecting to be backed up, only to see Ms. Mead with a look of bewildered shame on her face.

“Ms. Mead?”

“They—I do as I’m programmed,” she stutters. 

You gasp at the revelation. Satan didn’t come up with the plan to end the world like this? All of this could have been avoided?

Instead of being faced with the same reckoning, a look of absolute murder appears on his face. “I’m going to do what I should have done that day in the Murder House and kill you all personally.”

“Mallory,” Dinah calls, walking towards the Supreme. “You raised me from the dead so that you would have the power of voodoo on your side. But if you know anything about who I am, you know that the only choice I’d pick would be the winner.”

She comes to a stop just before the stairs, bowing her head respectfully. Michael raises a hand out to her, ready to welcome another acolyte. You throw Mallory a panicked look, but she’s barely holding back glee.

“You’re half-right, Dinah,” she admits.

“She needed the help of a powerful voodoo queen,” a deep Southern voice says. You turn and watch as a tall woman with long braids struts up to Dinah. “But that ain’t you, sis .”

“The former Voodoo Queen, Marie Laveau,” Mallory whispers into your ear.

“To release me from hell, Mallory promised Papa Legba the darkest and most corrupt voodoo queen’s soul for mine. You’ll serve him well in my place.”

“You’re a fool, Marie Laveau,” Dinah spits. “You would have done no different if you were queen.”

“No!” Marie says, before disappearing in a puff. 

Not even a second later, she reappears behind Dinah wielding a machete. When Dinah turns to face her, Marie brings the machete down in one swing on her throat. Dinah gasps and screams as blood begins to gush out of her neck, falling to the floor and bleeding out in a matter of seconds. Nobody else seems to be affected by this, but you feel a little faint, and you hold onto Mallory’s arm to keep from collapsing.

“Out with the trash!” Marie declares. “Give Papa my regards.”

Michael, apparently having enough of this, nods to Ms. Mead. The android removes her hand to reveal a machine gun hidden underneath it. Though you want to say something along the lines of, “What the actual fuck?” Zoe says a word in what you assume to be Latin before you can.

Instead of shooting, Ms. Mead begins to shake and whir mechanically. Mallory uses Michael’s confusion to usher everybody back towards the open fire, where you watch as Ms. Mead explodes and sends Michael flying over the railing. He lands harshly on the floor below, staring in horror at Ms. Mead’s head next to him.

It’s only a matter of time until his horror turns to rage, and Queenie scrambles forward to grab Ms. Mead’s machine gun hand. When Michael rises, she rises with him, gun trained on his chest.

“Sorry about your little toy,” Queenie says before placing her finger on the trigger.

Michael turns to be met with a firestorm of bullets, more than enough to kill even the Antichrist. You scream in horror at the sight, his blood spattering against the wall as he falls and comes to rest against it, very obviously dead.

“Michael!” You try to stand, wanting to save him even though he probably (definitely) deserves what’s just happened to him. Before you can, Mallory pulls you to her.

“This won’t keep him down,” she assures you. “He’s too powerful to be truly killed. But this will buy us time.”

Though you don’t know if you believe her, you need to in order to keep from emotionally collapsing, so you nod. 

Queenie walks to Michael’s body, kicking his foot as she checks to make sure he’s dead…for now, at least. “Do we need his hair or something for this? Because I’m more than happy to rip off a chunk of it.”

“No. The spell only requires that we have something personal of his.” Mallory smiles at you. “And we have the most important person in his life here with us. As long as you’re still in?”

You force yourself to look away from Michael, closing your eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths to recenter yourself. Finally, you look at her again. “Of course, I’m still in.”

“Good. Have you picked a time that will work to stop him?”

“I think so,” you confirm. After some internal deliberation, you think that the best way to get through to him is going to be when you had the big fight about the poisoned apple, before you stormed out and got yourself kidnapped by the witches. He wasn’t too powerful or too far gone with his father’s plan yet, but you were both in love with each other—albeit, you hadn’t actually realized it at that point.

“Alright. I’ll need you to focus on that, okay? Then I’ll say the spell, and we’ll be able to go back in time. We just need somewhere safe to cast the spell, somewhere with a large tub we can fill with water.”

You definitely found a room like that when you were exploring the Outpost your first couple of days here. “Okay. Follow me.”

Everybody stands, but hesitates when they remember the issue of Michael. If he’s going to come back to life like Mallory says, shouldn’t there be some safety measure in place to buy you more time?

Queenie sighs and rolls her eyes, realizing that she should probably be that safety measure. “Go,” she urges, readjusting her grip on the gun to ensure she’ll be quick to the trigger when Michael rises again.

Mallory darts forward to hug her quickly. “Thank you.”

“Enough with the sappy shit.” Even as she says that, you can see the affection in her eyes when she looks at Mallory. “Go!”

You do as she says and hurry up the stairs. Before you turn the corner, you allow yourself a moment to meet Michael’s open, lifeless gaze.

The hallways are much less of a maze than they were when you first arrived here, but the layout is still unfamiliar to you. After leading your group down what you thought was going to lead to the door you were sure contained the room with the tub, you’re met with a dead end. 

Sheepishly, you look over your shoulder at Coco. “I think I’m a little lost. Isn’t there a room with a really large washtub for laundry around here?”

Her eyes light up, and she lightly pushes you to keep you moving.  “Yes! We’re super close.” It’s going to take a bit to get used to her actually being helpful, you think as you follow her directions. “We’re going to go down this hallway here. Now, the weird little junction up ahead? Take a left and then it’s the third door on the right.”

Now you know where you are. “Thank you! I found it my first time going through the Outpost, but I haven’t lived here for eighteen months like you.”

You’re just about to turn left at the junction when a man appears from the other side of the hallway, jabbing a knife into your abdomen before you can even be surprised at the sight. You cry out, the pain sharp and sudden as he pulls the knife out of you with nothing but malice on his face. When he looks up at you, his scowl is replaced by a horrified shock.

“Oh my god, I thought you were—” He sees Coco, standing just behind you. “She was supposed to be you !”

Your shaking hands try to press down on the wound, but blood rushes out through your fingers, and your knees go weak as you crash into the wall. Down the hall, you can hear Mallory scream your name. She runs for you with Zoe hot on her heels.

“What the fuck did you do?” Mallory yells to the man, landing next to you on the floor and gently pulling your hands away so that she can assess the damage. By the way her lips start to tremble, you assume it’s not good.

The man that stabbed you ignores her, instead focusing on Coco. “You ruin everything!” he yells at her, lifting the knife once more.

Coco pushes him over the railing before he can do any more damage. He screams the whole way down, and Coco peers after him. “Sorry?” she calls with a grimace, no love apparently lost.

“This is…a lot of blood,” you note, watching your black dress becoming even darker from the rapidly expanding bloodstain. You’re also in a lot of pain. Fuck, you didn’t think being stabbed would hurt so much.

“It’s okay! It’s alright!” Mallory soothes; you can’t tell who she’s reassuring, herself or you. “I’m going to fix this. I’m going to—I’ll heal you, and then you’ll be fine.”

Your heart is pounding from a mixture of fear and adrenaline. For the first time since your arrival to this Outpost, you’re truly scared. This is a different fear from when you were worried about Emily and Timothy being executed, or when you realized that Michael wanted to have a child with you. It’s even different from the fear of knowing that you and Michael would be on opposing sides now. This is primal—this is terror.

Mallory’s hands hover over your abdomen as she begins to chant in Latin, eyes screwed shut in concentration. Nothing happens, and as the seconds tick by, your entire body starts to go cold. It’s like somebody’s taken a syringe of ice water and injected it right into your veins. You become more faint than before, and decide that laying flat will probably be the best way to rid yourself of this feeling.

“Why isn’t this working?” Mallory cries in frustration, catching your head and placing it in her lap. Tears begin to build in her eyes as she tries the same breathing technique on you as she did Coco and Dinah to bring them back to life, to no avail. You cough wetly, and when you wipe your mouth, your hand comes away red.

The realization hits you then: you’re dying. The overpowering cold, being unable to sit up anymore, the faintness—your body is beginning to shut down against your will.

“Mallory, I’m scared,” you admit.

“I know. I’m sorry. I promise I’m trying.”

“I know.” You smile at the repetition even as you begin to feel so, so tired. Maybe if you close your eyes and rest for a moment, you’ll be able to get enough strength back to help you fight to stay alive.

Your eyes barely close before Mallory starts shaking you. “No, no, please don’t close your eyes!”

Marie Laveau appears at the far end of the hallway you first ran down and yells something to Mallory, but you can’t quite make out what she says over the rushing in your ears. Mallory takes one of your arms and Zoe takes the other, both working together to pull you down the hallway. You watch dizzily as Coco runs to Marie, your vision warping as the two disappear around the corner.

Mallory continues trying to heal you once they have you in the room where you’re meant to go back in time. Her hand, soaked in your blood, runs over your forehead comfortingly as she becomes more frantic in her chanting. Even Zoe tries to help, pressing down on your abdomen in the hopes of slowing the bleeding as she joins Mallory in spellwork. It’s becoming more difficult to hold on as you become weaker, the two taking turns making you open your eyes again.

“Please, please, please,” Mallory begs any and all forces beyond her power that might be listening.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, the effort to produce sounds near herculean.

“Don’t apologize,” she says sternly through tears, earning the smallest of laughs from you.

“Yes, ma’am.” Your hands shake as you feel around for Mallory’s, and you weakly squeeze when you find them. “I love you, Mal. I’m so happy I got to see you again.”

“Stop saying goodbye. I’m going to bring you back, this isn’t goodbye.”

For now, though, it is, and you both know it. When your eyes close this time, they don’t open again, and you feel yourself being dragged down, down, down, away from consciousness and life itself.

With your last remaining strength, you become introspective. You have so many regrets, so many words that you’re going to leave unsaid. You wish you had gotten the chance to actually complete the spell and go back in time, sure that you would have been able to change Michael’s mind. You want to thank Queenie and Zoe and Coco and Marie for their help, for believing that you can help fix the mess the world has become. You wish you could—

•••

Michael has had enough of witches on this Earth, he thinks as he blows Queenie’s head clean off her shoulders after coming back to life. She had been distracted by a body falling from two floors up—whose body it was remained a mystery that Michael didn’t care to solve—providing Michael the element of surprise. Even if she were still prepared, it wouldn’t have mattered. He’s too powerful for anything to stop him now.

Maybe he was naive to believe that a simple nuclear bomb or two could kill them. No, he was definitely naive. After all, Mallory knew that the world would be ending, and soon. That was more than enough time for her to gather her chosen forces and figure out a way to survive. He knows now that his path, the one that Satan had created before he had even created Michael, was always meant to lead to this. In order to truly inherit this new world and rule Hell on Earth, he must eradicate the remaining witches with his own hands.

But what to do with you? You’ve chosen your side for this battle, and it’s not his. He nervously hopes that you’re simply mad at him after how your last conversation devolved into a fight, that Mallory reached you at a vulnerable time and used that to her advantage to recruit you. Once he defeats the witches, you’ll come back to him and he’ll concede that he was perhaps wrong to bring up the idea of having a child at such an intimate moment. Still, seeing you standing in solidarity with the witches hurt, which is likely what the Supreme was planning.

When Michael makes it up the stairs, the reanimated voodoo queen blocks the hallway that he knows you and the witches have gone down. Grabbing a pouch off of her belt, she pours a powder into her hand and spreads it in a line in front of her with a chant.

“You shall not pass,” Marie declares with a smirk, wiping her hands of the powder. Michael juts his hand forward, prepared to rip her heart out of her chest, but an invisible barrier stops him. “You’re dealing with the HBIC now.”

He smiles ruefully. “Clever,” he admits. “Normally, that would work.”

He’s about to show that voodoo magic is no match for him anymore when his blood runs cold and his heart drops. At that same moment, he becomes aware of sobbing coming from far behind Marie. Though Michael’s never felt anything like this before, he can feel the certainty of what it means down to his very core: something’s happened. Specifically, something’s happened to you.

“Let me through,” he demands. Marie falters, taken aback at the fear in his eyes. “Marie Laveau, if you value your second chance at life you’ll let me through.”

She recovers from her hesitation with a haughty laugh. “Nice try.” 

Michael makes quick work of her with a simple snap of his fingers, snapping her neck and sending her right back to the Underworld. He’s just about to clear the barrier and figure out just what is going on when he feels a presence behind him. Rolling his eyes, he turns around to face this distraction as well and comes face to face with Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt, who was with you when he was shot. Surely she must know something about what’s going on.

“What’s happened?” Michael asks. The knife that Coco was prepared to stab him with goes limp in her wrist, and she gapes at him. “Where’s Y/n?”

“She was…Brock…” She weakly mimes a stabbing motion.

“No.” He feels sick at the mere implication. “No!”

Coco now the least of his worries, he runs down the hallway, the whole time hoping that it’s a mistake, that Coco misinterpreted what she saw, that the cold emptiness now residing in his chest is simply a fluke. The sobs that become more clear as he nears the entryway, however, don’t do much to reassure him.

“Mallory!” Michael gasps. 

The Supreme is on the floor with you in her lap, and for a moment, Michael can delude himself into thinking that you’re okay. The excessive amount of blood on the floor—your blood—and the unnaturally limp way that your hand is lying force him to face the obvious. Michael’s knees give out, and he falls to the floor harshly.

Mallory looks up at him, forgetting that they’re meant to be enemies right now. “She got stabbed, and—” a sob rips from her chest, “my healing spells aren’t working. And neither is Vitalum Vitalis. It should be working, Michael, I’m the fucking Supreme.”

“Okay. Um, let me…” Michael’s brain is fighting a war between shutting down from the agony of this situation and kicking into overdrive to figure out how to get you back. After a moment, he thinks he might have an idea. He tries to pull you out of Mallory’s arms and into his own, but she refuses to loosen her hold on you. “Mallory, I need to hold her.”

While he does need to be able to touch you for the spell, he’s not really asking for that purpose. He feels that he might soon lose his grasp on sanity if he can’t hold your body. No, he needs you as close to him as possible, to try and capture the warmth of your body so that he might remind himself that you’ve only just left, that he can still get you back. Begrudgingly, Mallory allows him to hold you, but she still keeps one of your hands in hers.

He’d like to say that it looks like you’re sleeping, comforting himself with the platitude most mourners claim upon seeing a body. He’d be lying, though, because he knows what you look like when you’re sleeping. The way that your face scrunches at the smallest sensation, how your eyes move under their lids and your mouth forms silent words when you’re dreaming particularly deeply, the intermittent light snoring that you swear you don’t do. If you were simply sleeping, he’d play the prince to your Sleeping Beauty and wake you with a kiss, revealing your amused smile and your fond gaze.

Now, there’s none of that. You’ve been dead for mere minutes, but already the signs of death are here. Your face is as slack as all of your muscles now are, making your cheekbones more prominent and your mouth hinge slightly open. A sallowness has started to take over your skin, and he finds himself tracing the apples of your cheeks in a futile attempt to coax blood back to the surface. He even swears that he can feel your body growing colder, just like he feared.

It takes Michael some time to remember what he’s meant to be doing. All of this grief and pain will hopefully be for nothing, so long as he can hold himself together for a little bit longer. He takes a deep breath, hesitating for a moment before dropping his forehead against yours. Tears are threatening to fall, and when he closes his eyes to try and hold them back, it only hastens their arrival. They roll, hot and thick, off of his face and onto yours, and he wipes them off with a silent apology.

Finally, Michael slips into a dissociation as he begins to walk between the realms of living and dead. He’s done this more than a few times now for varying reasons, becoming pretty adept at finding a soul and bringing it back to the living plane. The hardest part by far is always calming his mind enough to be able to attempt this in the first place; the fact that he’s been able to achieve it in this circumstance is a small miracle. 

Now that he’s in the so-called in-between, he begins his search. Every single soul has a signature to it, so as long as he knows who he’s looking for, he usually finds the rest of this process to be pretty straightforward. Since your soul is so near and dear to him, he’s expecting this to take a couple of minutes at most.

A minute passes, then another, as he tries to track your soul down. Michael begins to grow concerned; considering you just died, he shouldn’t be having to search this hard. There’s a complete lack of you anywhere, and he begins to shake as he’s faced with the increasingly likely potential that your soul is gone. But how? Why? With a chilling clarity, he knows exactly what’s happened.

His father has become displeased. Whether he’s had enough of your and Michael’s collective disobedience over the years—Satan holds a grudge like no other, after all—or your declaration that you would never bear Michael’s child or be the perfect wife that Satan had planned for you to be. He’s had enough, and now, he’s taken this opportunity to make good on the threats he first warned Michael about during the poison apple saga. He’s made sure that you’re out of the picture for good. If Michael knows Satan, he’s probably already picked out some girl back at the Sanctuary to be wife number two, and this time, she would be the most devout, demure Satanist who would never even think of going against Satan’s will.

But Michael doesn’t want another wife. No, what he wants is to lay here on the floor and die right along with you, following you into whatever afterlife you’ve found yourself in in the hopes that he can continue to love you there. How can he ever be expected to love another person that’s not you? What kind of a life is there for him to live if you’re not here to share in it?

“Is everything okay?” Mallory asks, reminding him that there’s another person in this room, one who’s going to feel her own devastation at this news.

“I can’t find her. My father…” He chokes on his own words, unable to actually say the fate that’s befallen you. Instead, he can only cry.

Mallory picks up on the context clues, and her face drops. “So that’s it? She’s gone?”

The nod Michael gives her is the most painful movement of his life. When Mallory collapses, he also forgets the pretense of enemies and allows her to fall against him. It’s mainly for his own benefit—were he not using Mallory for support, he would be in a heap on top of you.

They remain without words for a while. Distantly, he’s aware of Zoe talking to Coco down that damned hall, the two wondering what to do now. He hopes that they come up with an answer, because he has no clue. In his opinion, there’s nowhere else to go from here. Though he may not have physically died, his life has ended along with yours in this room.

“Were you telling the truth?” Michael asks finally, making Mallory look up. “About Jeff and Mutt?”

He almost doesn’t want to know, but before he can change his mind, she nods. “All they cared about were themselves. They were fed up with minor inconveniences—having to wait for coffee, traffic woes—and wanted to ‘wipe the slate clean.’ They thought that they could reshape the world to how they wanted, and they used a vulnerable Antichrist to do so. Ms. Mead changed her tune from magic to fire and blood because Jeff and Mutt were feeding her the commands.”

He so badly wants her to be lying, but even if he couldn’t sense her truthfulness, he has his own memories to rely on. How suddenly Ms. Mead suggested that world destruction was preferred to world domination (and that the two cokehead idiots would be the guys to talk to about that) had always seemed a little odd to him, but he simply went along with it, believing Ms. Mead to still be his trusted advisor. This revelation simply makes Michael cry harder until he’s almost matching Mallory’s earlier sobs. She puts her free hand on his shoulder in comfort. Though he appreciates the gesture, nothing can bring him comfort.

All of this pain and death and destruction has been for naught. Michael spent years chasing his father’s approval and doing terrible things, things that made him so sick to think about that he forced himself to compartmentalize them in order to not drown in his shame. He’s shirked friends, love, and basic morals, only to find out that his father didn’t even care if the world ended this way. No, all Satan wanted was power and sin, which he got in spades these past eighteen months. 

“How were you going to stop me?” he asks.

Mallory hesitates. “We…we were going to go back in time. There’s a spell that I found when searching through the coven’s grimoires to help with your Cordelia issue. I practiced it a few times before the bombs dropped, trying to figure out the right way to do it. Y/n was going to be both your personal tie and the one convincing you to stop the apocalypse. She had a time in place where she thought that you would be most willing to listen, to change your mind.”

It’s a smart plan, and it probably would have worked. After all, you likely know (knew, he’s reminded harshly) him better than he knows himself. As he thinks about the what-ifs, Michael realizes that this doesn’t have to be something that never happens.

“So, if you and I were to go back in time together, then we could change all of this?” Michael asks.

Mallory gapes at him. “You’re willing to give all this up?”

“What, this empty, decimated kingdom that I don’t even want?” 

In the eighteen months since the apocalypse, Michael had found that he was not suited for being a ruler—he didn’t like the pomp and circumstance, nor did he like people fawning over him. Still, he pretended to be the cold, uncaring king of this “New World,” because he thought that was what Satan wanted, that he was fulfilling the destiny that he was born to.

Now, there’s nothing left to fight for. The world didn’t even need to be ended, let alone in this way. He’s been nothing but a pawn to people his whole life—the Satanists, the warlocks, the stupid fucks that ran Kineros, even Satan himself. He’s done. Done with this stupid, useless path he’s taken, done with hurting everything and everyone, and done with bowing to the whims of anybody.

After all, what has he got to show for any of this? He’s been a good little soldier, doing unspeakably horrific acts and acting like he wasn’t affected, like he wasn’t the Michael that he was before the apocalypse. How did Satan reward him? By ensuring that he would never get back the one person in his life that he has ever truly loved, and who had ever truly loved him. 

“I can’t—I can’t live a life without Y/n. There is nothing without her. What do I need to do to help you?”

“Promise me,” she says. “Promise me that you will not use this second chance to end the world once again.”

“I just found out I ended the world for no reason, Mallory. A world that I was slowly coming to love, before Cordelia informed me that I needed to speed up the apocalypse plans I had been led to believe were created by my father. Before I was upset by people trying to convince me that blowing everything up was a bad idea.” Because of course, Satan would take credit for those plans if it meant that he would be closer to getting the complete chaos it would create. “Why would I try to end it again?”

Mallory searches his face for a moment before nodding. “I believe you.” 

She’s known him for long enough now to know his tells, and she sees none of them. Right now, he’s too much of a wreck to even consider trying to lie, not that he was planning on it.

Mallory slowly stands, but not before kissing the back of your hand and laying it gently on your chest. “Come on.”

“I’m sorry,” Michael whispers to you, kissing your forehead. “I’m so, so sorry. I’m going to make this right.”

It takes strength he didn’t know he possessed to lay you down and let go of your body. Even as he walks away, going against every instinct and leaving you on the floor, he can’t take his eyes off of you.

Mallory climbs into the large washtub in the corner of the room, flicking her wrist and filling it with water. Michael follows her in, ignoring the uncomfortable sensation of sitting in wet clothes.

“Think of a time that you believe it will be easiest to completely stop the apocalypse before it goes too far,” she instructs.

There are many times in the past two years that Michael can see as a good time to stop the apocalypse. First, he’s tempted to go back to the beginning of this mess, when the witches killed Ms. Mead. Plans for the end of the world hadn’t even been drawn up yet, and he would have the added benefit of having Ms. Mead back. Plus, you wouldn’t have gone through the trauma of being kidnapped and forced to be the Antichrist’s bride.

It’s incredibly selfish, but the more Michael thinks about that avenue, the less he wants to take it. While it’s unfortunate how you came to know each other, he wouldn’t trade the way that you and he fell in love with each other for anything. But on the practical side, he wouldn’t have the influence that he has over important people and organizations were he to go back that far, and he needs that if he’s going to have enough power to keep the world from ending altogether. That’s off the table, then.

He wishes that you had told Mallory of your idea before being fatally wounded, because he probably would have agreed with your assessment. If it was any time after you moved in with him, he was already so in love with you that he could easily be swayed. What makes the most sense?

Finally, Michael has it. The time where he can be most effective at changing the fate of the world and ensuring there will not be an apocalypse by his hand, can remain powerful enough to not be usurped as Antichrist (for he’s sure that Satan will be very displeased by the change of plans if he finds out about Michael changing fate), and can still have you.

He opens his eyes and nods. “I have it.”

“Okay,” Mallory says with a hopeful smile. “Focus on that as hard as you can, place us both there.”

It’s all he can think about now, but he does as she says and recreates that time in his head. The sights, the sounds, the smells. How your hand felt in his, and the brightness of your smile. The possibilities that, at that time, seemed endless. Mallory holds her hands out and Michael takes them, feeling their magic bouncing off of each other like sparks from two exposed wires.

“Balneum infinitum. Dona salui conductus.” Mallory repeats the chant two more times, the water bubbling around them furiously and turning darker with each word.

Michael knows even without Mallory’s instruction that he’s needed to say the last part of the spell, and what that last part is. Just before they submerge themselves under the water, their voices join together to cast the most important spell of their lives.

“Tempus Infinituum.”

•••

Endnotes: Wow. I thought this would be a particularly tough chapter to write, but as I got going, the story flowed easily. I think because I've had this scene stuck in my head for so long! My FBI agent is definitely concerned by how thoroughly I read those "what happens to a body after a person dies" articles.

ALSO the Jeff and Mutt thing is canon!

Anyways, I'm gonna go watch some cute animal videos to feel better. Take care of yourselves, alright?

@ajokeformur-ray @iamavailablesstuff @narwhal-swimmingintheocean @nsainmoonchild @redroses07

@xo-angel-ox @littleangel4996 @iamlivingforturner @thatonehumanbeing05

@codycrazy @love-on-the-murder-scene

[cutestkilla]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Thank you so much for this ask (and @bookish-bogwitch and @aristocratic-otter too). You're all amazing and your self-recs are too - I cosign them all!

So: this is the first time I've gotten one of these where I actually HAVE 5+ fics (of my own) to choose from 😂 so you know what, even though it's a *somewhat* trivial process, I'm gonna DO THE THING and come up with a Top 5.

1. What's Left (133K, M)

My first fic, and still my favourite. Probably because conceptually, I don't think I'll ever come up with something this cool or interesting again. And also because I got to spend so many words with my version of the Humdrum (who many of you know as Sid), expanding on what we know of him from canon and all the ways he intersects with Simon, and I kind of just love him alot. This is definitely the plottiest thing I've ever written, with lots of twists and turns and what I think is a sort of an arc you can't predict from the start (pioneering the Baz/Humdrum tag!!), and that made it really fun to write, and I hope fun to read too. Also, this is the most painful thing I've written (it starts with Simon dead, folks), which if you know me at all, explains why it would be my favourite. 😂

2. Hiding Out in the Open (48K, M - WIP 5/7 chapters)

This takes the #2 spot for sure because: a) it's also got a decent amount of pain courtesy of an alt-WS divergence setting and b) it's also kinda high concept. And c) I'm writing it as a very drawn out birthday gift for my beloved @artsyunderstudy in honour of what is now OUR beloved psychology podcast of choice, Hidden Brain. My favourite thing about this one is the way I've worked all these real concepts in psychology (and real episodes of Hidden Brain) into the narrative in a way that I think feels organic and true to the characters. It's been a challenging puzzle to solve, but man have I learned some cool things along the way. This one IS a WIP, but I'm going full steam ahead on it, and even though the story is NOT over, ch 5 ends in a decently satisfying place.

3. Slamming and Smashing (18K, E)

My first (and only) E-rated fic! I'm more of a soft smut writer, but I had so much fun writing this one as a gift for @ic3-que3n based on prompts that included: NSFW, Simon slamming Baz into a wall (as referenced in Snow for Christmas), a very specific line from Bram Stoker's Dracula about wild rose, AND an Anastasia AU. This one is pretty low on pain/angst and high on post-canon fluff, but I did still give Baz a *bit* of a breakdown in it 😂. I'm proud of this one because I think it's hot and also because I managed to hit ALL those prompts in one smutty fic, and tell what I think is a pretty relatable story about how hard communicating can be in relationships.

4. Episode 5: The Tardigrade and His Boy (25K, T)

Another gift fic, this time for @raenestee! This was not only an amazingly fun collaboration with @facewithoutheart @aristocratic-otter @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @thewholelemon

@mostlymaudlin and @artsyunderstudy, but I found a way to have the Humdrum front and centre again which makes me so happy. I also cut my teeth writing Shep and Agatha POVs for the first time in this one, which was very fun. And I managed to write one of my most favourite types of fics: one that is both an AU and also secretly canon-compliant. This is my only true AU and I think it's a really fun romp (just like the rest of the series which I highly recommend).

5. This Is Your Place (18K, M)

This one was for Prompt Fest 2022 (a fest to celebrate the anniversary of @carryonprompts where - reminder - you can submit your Carry On fic prompt ideas and maybe someone will write them) and filled this prompt by @bookish-bogwitch:

"@ionlydrinkhotwater wrote this meta: "Omg Simon is such a ho, in retaliation for Baz pulling the open sesame move, he dashes to their room, showers, shaves (nicking his skin so he's a little bit bloody and therefore yummy) and "accidentally" comes out in just pajama bottoms with his tits full out, without the necklace." ... And I want to read a fic where Baz fuckin' Takes. The. BAIT."

What I think I did well in this one is building up both the tension and the empathy between Simon and Baz in a way that makes the payoff feel earned, even though the story only takes place over the course of a few hours, the day Baz gets back to Watford after the numpties. I also really love my Baz inner monologue in this, and that Simon gets to be a little bit smooth, too.

[new-revenant]

I was reading on of your posts and I LOVE the idea of different Fenton families believe in different supernatural creatures but not others, like the guys we see in the show have ghosts but what about Fentons who live in the middle of the woods and believe in werewolves? What about Fentons who live on a boat and believe in Sirens?

What are the cultures of these other Supernaturals really like? Do they get along well with ghosts? Does Danny know they exist? Who told him or did he stumble upon them himself? What is his option on them?

IS WULF A DEAD WEREWOLF????

If you reply to this please tag me so I can see your ideas because I don’t know if people answering to your asks gives a notification.

thank you for loving my idea, I’ve been thinking about it for so long. I think I saw the idea somewhere and picked it up, but that was honestly years again haha. And yeah, getting asks answered-for me at least-doesn’t notify me unless I literally click on the Activity tab to see that’s it’s answered. Pretty weird.

So @lazerswordweilder, yeah, I do think that there would be different Fenton branches believing in different supernatural creatures, with their own reasoning as to why they think their own supernatural creatures exist. I’d like to think that some take the more scientific approach, like the branch that believes in aliens(and the Fentons we know and love), while others take the more “I believe that this real so it must be so” approach. The later is more rare, and even then they usually have their own explanations for why they believe, let’s say, sirens exist. They all are stubborn and steadfast with their beliefs.

Some Fentons might be open to believing in other supernatural creatures, like those believing in werewolves open to believing in other were-beasts. If it’s not too far fetched from what they originally believe in, there’s a good chance that they might incorporate it into their belief system.

Other Fentons, however, would likely not believe in ghosts if they believe in something like sirens. It’s too far removed from their original belief that unless they get real, concrete proof, that they couldn’t ever possibly deny, they won’t believe it. Only a siren’s ghost could make a siren believer believe in ghosts. And that doesn’t mean that the ghost believer would believe in sirens, because of their preexisting view on ghosts(like how the Fentons we know don’t really seem to think of ghosts as dead people), they would just think that it’s a ghost that just so happens to look like one of those sirens.

Also Wulf being a werewolf when alive is neat, I can see two different Fenton family arguing about him. With his power to open portals and his general, not really all that ghostly appearance, he looks more like a psychopomp, a being that guides souls to the underworld. So even if the werewolf believing Fentons have some belief in ghosts, they wouldn’t immediately think of Wulf as one, just think of his as this soul-guiding werewolf.

And I think almost any creature can become a ghost. No one has any real…prejudices against ghosts. Maybe annoyment or fear, but there are no wars or battles against ghosts unless they are the ones to start them, which is really rare since most ghosts just haunt the person/family/even small village they want to and pass on. Hatred towards ghosts is usually specific, but most people don’t really want to deal with them.

So, upon seeing Danny, a small ghost child who walking around in a hazmat suit, beating up annoying and dangerous ghosts, they would probably respect him. And pity him, he’s a child after all. And ghost minds typically don’t mature, so even if Danny acts more mature than he looks, it just garners more pity. Some supernatural creatures may seek him out if they have a nasty ghost problem, but I’d like to think that most ghosts aren’t like the ones in Amity Park, the really dangerous ones.

I think that’s all I have for now, thanks for the ask! Oh, and I think Danny would love aliens, obviously. He’d be nervous around other supernatural creatures, but may or may not warm up to them on an individual basis.

[thesweetnessofspring]

Your tag about Peeta exploding at Katniss’s thoughts makes me just appreciate so much how soft she is with him throughout the books. The boy would cry if he read her thoughts about how she can’t live without him and can only feel certain feelings around him. I like to think once they’ve grown back together and she’s more forthcoming with her thoughts there are several moments where his brain turns off from Katniss’s intense affection.

"If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more." (Mr. Knightley, Emma by Jane Austen) is such a Katniss sentiment. Even though she loves Prim, we never see her directly comment to Prim all of her wonderful qualities, although she thinks it.

Of course, Peeta has been through a lot more mentally and emotionally than Prim, especially with his hijacking (though she's had her fair share, too!). I think that when they grow back together, they go to couples counseling here and there and part of what Katniss learns is how to speak her feelings to Peeta. And it's hard for her at first. To say to him that he's the only one whose arms she feels safe in is so vulnerable, isn't it enough she goes to his arms in the first place? Can't he see that she loves him? But when she hears that he still thinks about how he almost killed her, that he worries she'll stop feeling safe with him one day, that she'll see him for the mutt he is, she puts aside her hesitation and begins to speak up more about everything he means to her.

And it's simple at first. A random "I love you." Then she shares more. "I love spending time with you." "You make me so happy." And more. "The way your hair shines in the sun is so beautiful." "You keep me so safe, I love you, I trust you." And then, the one that really knocks him dead: "I would have chosen you, every time, no matter what."

And it gets easier for her not just because she finally has clarity on her feelings, but also because the way Peeta reacts is everything to her. She realizes just how deep his pain goes, of feeling unlovable and not enough, ever since he was a child. The simple compliments make his eyes light up and a blush to his cheeks, and she always gets a hug and kiss for it. Then she gets more specific, and at first he stops and can't process what she means. "Beautiful? You think I'm beautiful?" Followed by some mind-blowing sex because nothing else for them can show just how much they love and need each other.

Thank you for your thoughts nonny! 😘

[comp-lady]

{Fic} The Weight of Your Own Existence, chapter 4 & 5

Fandom: Sleep Token

Pairing: poly-vessels

Characters: iv, ii, iii, Vessel, Sleep, Original Characters

Notes: Day 18 of Sleeptober!

This work was greatly inspired by The Handmaid’s Tale and the fic Stop One Heart From Breaking by @/inexplicifics. Which is where I specifically picked up the concept of Ruined Omegas.

Please make sure you read the tags. The dove isn’t quite dead but it is on life support. We’re gonna be coming in after all the abuse, so we will likely not see any of it on screen, but what we will see is the effort to heal from it. I promise a happy ending, hell if you’ve been following my Sleeptober posts you’ve already gotten glimpses of it. As with all my fics more tags can be added in the future and I will put warnings in the notes on the top of each chapter where applicable.

Summary:

Being a Ruined Omega was a punishment they claimed was in the bible.Blessed are those omegas who are ruined, for they may find their forgiveness in duty.That duty being birth pups for those who cannot. Pups that they will never hold, ever raise. Never have the chance to lay their eyes upon. IV had carried and birthed pups that he will never see and never know. Once a quota of pups was reached they would be spayed and sold off as pets. Until that moment every facet of their life was controlled by the Ruined Omega Program.IV, currently known as Ivy, is one of the omegas in this program. Or was, he recently escaped and was rescued by a monster and three mysterious men. Two alphas and an omega. They’ve taken him to their home. And island they’ve named Eden, where they live off the land and help other escaped omegas heal. Away from the cruelty and abuse that dictated their lives for so long.

Read it here on AO3

ALSO NOTE

This is the last chapter of the month! The rest of Sleeptober doesn't have a chapter, but I will keep working on this fic! I've been hella pantsing on all these starting chapters. So, since I am almost done with Sleeptober (working on day 27 now!) I am going to ouline this fic properly from here on out. That means longer chapters in future. I'm going to see how the ouline pans out, but for those that don't know I prefer to have a buffer of written and edited chapters done before I start posting. Usually about 5 chapters. That might be what happens, hard to say. I gotta get the actual outline done lol

You want an update between now and when I post the next chapter my askbox is always open :3

If you like my work consider leaving a tip! ☕

[amethystfairy1]

Hi there, new anon here bc I don’t use tumblr like, almost ever. apologies for the rambling about how I love ur AU’s that’s incoming. Or if I did this wrong. Idk how to use tumblr.

Ok SO, I’ve been following your AUs on AO3 for the past few months and first of all, love it, I love your continuity with metaphors or specific descriptors that span across works, like Grian’s banded wings, glamor as heat haze on tarmac, scott having hair like spun sugar, just AUGHHHH so good I love. Little details like that make me as a writer and ofc fanfic enjoyed foam at the mouth. It’s so vivid I can picture it in my mind, I love the eclectic feel of the undercity, the mechanical lore things like wagons in Traveling thieves or rail carts and labs in TTSBC! Don’t even get me started on the peice about Doc and Etho in the depths, that one is so so good.

And your phenomenal foreshadowing? Like first read through never guessed that avian at Fremeere’s was skizz, but I went back after your recent upload and wow it totally is! Or how first read of TTSBC I never thought the two directors were the same because I hopped around in the reading order, but now it’s wayyy too similar! And now I get why a past and long dead antagonist would have such a specific and recognizable speech pattern… eerie. I love it. Can’t wait to learn more about that storyline!! I wonder how much Tango knows about Doc’s history with the labs and if he realizes the connection after talking with Zedaph. Zedango my beloved! Or just tango content/lore in general hehe. (Also, I find it humorous that Grian and Tango’s boyfriends have almost the same trauma as their dad, lol) Also, love how close the characters are to being reunited in Traveling Thieves!! They’re so close!

Anywhoo, just stopped by to say that Cub is litterally providing scar/Hot Guy with weapons in Scar’s new episode, only to see that you already saw that ofc. I was litterally kicking my feet and squeaking about it bc it’s just like TTSBC and your AU makes me so genuinely happy to read and has me in a chokehold. But the rocket arrows?? That are Hot Guy brand color coded! And expensive and I can see character!Cub being exasperated about scar’s trigger happy use of the rockets in the same way he doesn’t call the lab the Hot Cave, hehe. Or Scar showing off to Grian that he’s not the only one who can shoot sparkly projectiles!

so yeah, ik you already saw that, but i wanted to share that it’s so perfect for TTSBC or else my brain would not leave me alone lmao

DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR THE RAMBLES

I LOVE RAMBLES!!!!

I'm so glad you love my little tells for the characters! Heat haze on tarmac, hair like spun sugar, stuff like that just feels like it helps make a certain trait pop and so I try to make sure every character has at least one of them! I'm so glad you enjoy the mechanical ascept of the AUs! Both TTSBC and TT have their own little things, moving parts that keep the worlds going!

I love trying to layer in foreshadowing when I can! Skizz appearing, but I purposefully didn't tag him as a character because, thanks to avian culture, he doesn't use his name, and so it's not until we get to see from his POV that we actually get confirmation that's him!

I have no idea what you're talking about with the director, tho, because she's totally dead! She died 24 years ago during the Anarchy! Any odd vocal ticks and specific dislikes for hypothesis is completely coincidental and should be, should be, should be disregarded. 😑

They do, don't they? Whoops. I guess Doc has a lot to relate to when it comes to his future sons-in-law, huh?

CUB IS THE GUY-IN-THE-CHAIR CONFIRMED!!!! AGGGH!

Thank you so much for your rambles I absolutely loved reading them!!!! 💖

[poisonedspider]

poisonedspider: INDIE roleplay blog for ANGEL DUST (ANTHONY) from HAZBIN HOTEL. Incredibly NSFW muse. DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. Spoilers present. Canon divergent. Semi-selective. Medium activity. Multipara/Novella literate writer for 20+ years. Multiverse and multi-ship. Mostly head canon based representation of (one) famous porn star. Mature and triggering content present, must be 21+ to interact. Blog will explore extreme trauma, abandonment, s*xual assault, physical violence, death, etc. Mutuals only, please! Authored by Strode, he/him, 30+. Re-established April 2024 (originally wrote in July 2019). Please read rules under the cut on this post.

Stand-alone blog, not strictly affiliated with the Hazbin/Helluvaverse and community (and certainly not in support of Vivzie). Open to any and all characters and interactions. Let it be known I am NOT AN ASK BLOG. Personals are allowed to follow, but will not be followed back and will be BLOCKED if they keep interacting with my stuff. Do not reblog this post.

Angie's main bitches: @featheredbarkeep, @sirserpentine, @veelentino, @hazbinned, @mothvalentino, @widdlestwucifer, @grimowled, and @hzbinsouled.

Don’t be an asshole. Literally my number one rule, and basically my only rule. This is a hobby. We are nerds writing as fictional characters. I’m too old to feel in high school again. If you don’t like what I write, the block button is a function. Block me, and move along. Forget I exist. I do not participate in call out culture, and will not be forced to choose sides.

Memes are definitely the best way to interact with me. I personally will turn all memes into threads, as I feel that’s the point of them. You don’t have to necessarily continue them, but I’d appreciate if you did because I put a lot of thought and energy into my replies.

Never feel the need to match my length (I write a lot), but also know that I reserve the right to delete a thread if I don’t feel like what you wrote gives me enough information to write a well thought out reply. Also always feel free to delete threads I send to you that you no longer have muse for. This is for fun, it isn’t a homework assignment. You don’t need to explain yourself on your own blog!

I don’t work full-time, but that doesn’t mean I’m not constantly busy. I’m traveling almost every other weekend, and I’m trying to put my energy into being off Tumblr if I can help it. I may not always have the spoons to talk or do replies, even if you see me online. Just please be patient with me!

There will be a LOT of R-rated material on this blog. Almost everything will be NSFW - look at the show content, and especially this character. I do my best to tag all triggers, but please let me know if something specifically triggers you and I’ll edit it to be tagged right away so you can blacklist it. I’m still going to keep writing it, though. This is my blog. It is not my duty to make sure that you have a safe space, and if you don’t feel safe, I will not be remotely offended if you unfollow to keep your dash what you want it to be. It’s kind of impossible to write Angel and Angel’s story without some triggers coming up (Episode 4? Yeaaaah.)

Personals, do NOT reblog things. It already happened from the hour I made this blog, and it will become an automatic block. This is a roleplay blog. Period. I am also not an Ask Roleplay Blog, so while I may respond to some of those things in jest, it isn’t the purpose of this blog. Hazbin fan blogs and whatnot, leave my stuff out of it. If you continue to do this, I will report your blog. 

Angel Dust is gay. He will not be having romantic relationships with any females in the show. The only way he would ever be with a female, is if for whatever reason Valentino decided that he needed to sleep with a woman for his porn. Which I can’t see happening but��.yeah. 

Speaking of Valentino, the way I play Angel is him still definitely within the confines of the contract. He might do things he is ashamed/embarassed of and doesn’t want to actually do because of the contract. Dubcon will probably be explored on here to some degree because he struggles saying no to Val. That doesn’t stop him from fighting back, but he’s going to do some gross things because his soul is owned. Also, my Angel does have love for Val. That doesn't mean I ship them AT ALL. It means that I have no shame as a therapist in exploring the cycle of abuse and toxic relationships, and that this is incredibly important to my Angel's story.

This being said, dubcon would be the only thing I'd put under a Read More because I know other people hate it. I don't really intend to write it out, but people could argue that Valentino using his 'poison' is considered dubious consent, and yeah, I'm going to write that and flesh it out a bit. As for other read mores, I'm lazy and it ain't gonna happen. You followed a character who is a sex worker. There's going to be smut. Murder. Cussing. That's the content of the show. I have no shame putting it out in the open. As mentioned, you can check the trigger warnings on my posts before reading something.

I’m a multipara/novella roleplayer. I’ll do some one liners and crack stuff, but it won’t be as common. I want to have elaborate threads. I want to flesh out this character. I’m going to come up with things about him that Vivzie doesn’t and make him a little bit my own. And that comes from writing, writing, writing. If I don't reply to you, it's probably because I can't work with one liners and I am stumped.

All the graphics and whatnot on this blog were either created or commissioned specifically by/for me. (I know I’m not a fabulous photoshop graphic maker but hey I tried). Do not steal from me. If I find out that you have, I will report your blog for theft. Majority of the graphic work on here is done by both @cerberuscommissions and @17webs.

DO NOT GODMODE. I will literally scream, cry, and throw up (okay, not literally). This is my blog, and I want to control Angel in my way. Please and thank.

I don't necessarily need people to reblog from the source, but if my activity is blowing up with the same person reblogging and reblogging, I'll kindly ask you to stop. If you continue, that will lead to a block because I already have hundreds of drafts and don't have time to swim through activity.

Sorry fam, I don't do Discord. I've had a few people ask, and while yes I do have it, I have it with a burning fiery passion. All roleplaying will be done here and here alone, because I like to have a Tumblr blog as a sort of 'archive.'

As for the mains (listed above), to not be discouraged just because I have mains. I was avoiding choosing them for a bit because I hate how it can feel like favoritism, but the fact of the matter is that there are unfortunately people on here that Angel has much more muse for, and that I talk to ooc almost every day. Those people get first priority. Let it be known that does NOT mean they are exclusives. As mentioned, I will be writing with every single character, no limitations. Nor are there any rules specifically associated with my mains. Mostly just means they get priority on things.

I don't have any triggers. Period. I appreciate people asking me if such and such is okay in a thread before we do it, but really, just do whatever your character feels they would do. I'm a therapist. And sure, therapists have their triggers too. But I've been exposed to so much shit that nothing really phases me anymore.

I do not own the character Angel Dust or any content from Hazbin Hotel. I am not associated with Vivziepop and am in fact an Anti-Viv blog (please don't associate me with her). Shocker, I know. But gotta put that on here. 

Tldr; Be chill, have fun, don’t follow if don’t like hypersexuality, severe trauma, or sassy gay men.  

[victimeyez]

Happy Birthday 🎂🥳🎁 (I also have a September birthday so I think that’s neat)

I think overall, the thing about p/v that keeps me hooked is the intensity of the whump. I’ve read other whump stories before and while what the characters go through in them is horrible, I’ve yet to find another character that goes through the kind of stuff Tommy does. The man’s life is just brutal, and as a avid horror fan I find that deeply compelling. I want him to one day get his final girl moment, even though I read early on that it’s probably not gonna happen.

I think the two whump moments that stand out the most for me so far are the meat hooks and the use of Agent Orange. The meat hooks scene was such a intense body horror moment it almost made me think about quitting, but I also couldn’t get it out of my head. I had to know what was gonna happen next to this poor dude. By contrast, the Agent Orange bit had me thinking to myself, “whelp Tommy and Caius better pray that stuff wasn’t real, otherwise their both dying of cancer lol”

Anyways I’ve rambled on enough. I hope you enjoy your birthday and that you get to do something fun with the people you love. (Tommy sure won’t lol)

Thank you, and happy birthday to you too!!!

Ooh, where to start. A few years ago, I discovered a writer online that wrote the most brutal content I had ever read. To this day, she makes my writing here look quite tame. We bonded over a mutual fandom that was difficult to find content for. One thing led to another, and I ended up helping write and edit her first original book.

I’’d never had someone before that I could talk to about enjoying really twisted stories. I was always admonished for a blossoming interest in horror by my mom, who believes horror is the work of the devil. It is still hard for me to share darker ideas. I get nervous about being judged for going too far, being too much of a freak. 

A big part of what made me decide to write Pro Vic with the design it has is that I wanted to be able to explore lots of different whump scenarios, without things getting too stale of the same things over and over. I have fun with Caius, but I can also explore whatever other forms I want to with clients in my own version of a monster-of-the-week formatting lol. Plus I can throw in extra time with Sam, or Rory, or Michelle, orrrrr whatever! As for the meat hooks and agent orange - Once again, I am sorry, and you are welcome lol. Can I blame Dead by Daylight and weirdly specific Vietnam War nightmares?

I love me a final girl! I actually have a shirt that says FINAL BOY in bloody letters lol. 

I have a long game in mind. Tommy is going through it – that’s not going to stop any time soon. But without wanting to say too much - Tommy has a future ahead of him where he plays a very different role...👀

I cannot tell you how much it blows my mind that people are actually reading this. I’m grateful for the readership, the notes, the tags, everything, I read them all a thousand times and lay on my bed kicking my feet while I write about it in my diary. Okay maybe not literally that, but mentally that is where I am. Getting to be the random person that wrote something you find compelling is the greatest badge of honor in my life. That’s not a joke. Sharing my creative passions has been the one thing I have known I wanted since I was three years old. When I was sitting on the floor of the kitchen, banging pots and pans together for drums and screaming my best “opera”.

[bleue-flora]

''what does the rest of the server mean then'' Most disliked c!Dream for a valid reason like his actions, and autism is never an excuse to do bad things hfmoot

[context]

lol are you saying you read give or take something like 3,000 words of c!Dream being autistic and that one line you didn’t even quote right because I assume you are talking about this “And if Dream is autistic, damn what kinda of picture does that paint of the rest of the server… just saying… ;)” from the very bottom of the tags is what you got out of all of that?… seriously?

First of all, the valid reasons are comical. Sure some people have a good reason to hate Dream, but like Sapnap’s reason is because Dream threatened to use Bekerson against him and he thought Dream doesn’t care about him [clip]. But sure yea no, skeppy cage and threats are a perfectly valid reason to put them in torture box for eternity dislike someone… (really besides the point but yea it just so happened to be fresh on my mind lol…)

Regardless, I don’t think I did or will ever say that autism or anything else excuses bad behavior. If you ever think that’s what I’m saying - that it’s okay to do bad things if you have a good excuse - you are misunderstanding and misconstruing my words. What I do like to do, is look at Why something might have happened. Those are not the same thing. C!Dream himself specifically highlights this in Daedalus because Sam was using his reasons as justifications for his actions - I have a good reason therefore it’s okay, which Dream was pointing that eventhough reasons are important to know someone isn’t just being malicious for the sake of it, a valid reason doesn’t excuse it. Especially because excuses don’t tend to erase the hurt those actions caused. But even though reasons don’t excuse the behavior or make it right, they can add perspective and perhaps help gain compassion…

To be fair though, I don’t think I really even talked about autism and the bad things he did at all anyways. Only the character traits, circumstances and storyline that point to autism in my opinion. Explaining his actions through the lense of autism would be a whole different set of essays.

Really, if I’m creating excuses for behavior for anyone it is for the server. As I said people have inherent hate of autistic people down to the subconscious level of basic fear, not to say everyone is ableist but the fact that we are different makes us already a target of dislike, which is really more so if anything excusing the server’s despicable treatment of a fellow human being. But even then, I’m still not excusing or justifying only trying to make sense of and understand how people could hate him so much to the point of killing him till he’s permanently dead (something they didn’t even do to Wilbur or Schlatt l) and put him in a little lava covered box and throw away the key. Plus, I mean a lot of people were against Dream before the agruably more bad things like Staged finale, Doomsday, Exile, hell even before the Pogtopia war people seemed to hate him, so my aim is to understand why things happened the way they did…

Anyways, if that is the statement you are referring to then, I’ll admit it’s a little aggressive, poorly worded and I probably shouldn’t have said it at all. But my intention was not really to call the server a bunch of ableists, but more so that they are a good representation of the bullying and social rejection and the hate autistic people often face without even understanding why. (I mean I was probably also just saying how dare they bully my poor little autistic green teletubby lol XD as more so a joke hence the winky face) anyways… all that to say, that it’s not about everything Dream did was okay because he’s autistic so he gets a pass or to say the server was maliciously targeting him because he’s autistic or whatever, it’s about understanding the Why something happened and how that might paint a picture of the server and story that reflects the real world…

[arwenadreamer]

It's your birthday, Sammy!

“How do we know when it’s our birthdays?” Dean asks out of the blue.

The brothers are sitting on the porch of their cabin, enjoying their morning cup of coffee while looking out over the mountain ridge. 

“Why, you wanna have a party complete with jumping castle and pony rides and pinata?” Sam teases.

“Ha, ha. No, Sam, my party is gonna be clown themed. Clown napkins, clown plates, clown costumes for all the guests.”

Sam does his best to look disapprovingly at his brother, but secretly enjoys their carefree banter so much. God, how he’s missed that. 

“Since there’s no time up here, we don’t have any way to tell, Dean. But I don’t think it’s important anymore, either. I mean, it’s a little bit redundant to celebrate birthdays after youˋre dead, don’t you think?”

“Well, I certainly don’t want to celebrate our death days”, Dean counters. Then, after a little pause, tags on quietly: “You finally coming here, though, is cause to celebrate.”

Sam can’t help but smile at that. Yes, it is. Being finally reunited with Dean is nothing less than cause to rejoice. 

“I still think we should celebrate our birthdays, though!” Dean insists. 

“Why? We’ve never really done that back in life either.”

“Exactly! Which is why we should do it now. Because we can. And we have to make up for so many missed or shitty birthdays.”

Sam get’s what Dean is saying, and he doesn’t really have an objection to that either. After all, they’ve got all eternity together now. If they want to celebrate, they should celebrate.

“So, Sammy, since there is no official calendar, I hereby declare today to be the second of May. Happy birthday, baby brother! How would you like to spend your day?”

Sam smiles. “Doesn’t February come before May?”

“Uh, uh, not a chance, Sammy! Today is gonna be your birthday! Always liked that day better anyway. The day you were born? There ain’t no bigger reason for me to celebrate. Never got a bigger present.” After a beat of silence, Dean adds: “Literally. Who would have thought that tiny little baby brother would turn into a sasquatch?”

Sam feels such a rush of affection, it’s almost overwhelming. And to think that he is going to get this for all of eternity!

“So, what you wanna do, Gigantor? Throw a party? Invite friends?”

“How about we go for a drive, Dean? Just you and me and baby. I’ll even let you sing happy birthday in the car.” At the grin that is spreading on Dean’s face, Sam hastily adds: “But only once!”

“Okay”, Dean agrees with a beam. “We’re in heaven, I think I can make the song last a while.”

Sam could smack himself. Why did he have to mention a birthday song in the first place? But if he’s being quite honest with himself, he’s looking forward to it, he thinks, as he follows his brother to the car. He had to live too many years without his brothers off key singing.

They both slide into their car seats and close baby’s doors at the same time, completely in sync as they had been most of their lives.

“Anything specific you wanna see, Sammy?” Dean asks, as he starts the engine.

“No, just drive. This is gonna be perfect”, he says.

And as they drive along the dusty road, Dean making every note of ‘Happy Birthday’ last a small eternity, he thinks it really is. The most perfect birthday he’s ever had. 

You can also read it here on Ao3:

[defira85]

For the new set of Durgetash asks - 10 & 11 if you haven't been asked them already (or feel free to pick another of your choice!)

YES I WAS HOPING FOR 11 that was one of my favourites on the list thank yooooooou lovely 💜 from the new ask meme here

10. The most fucked up thing they did together. The absolute plot, mephista or hall of wonders heist doesn't count.

I have already seen some of the other answers to this in the tag and hoo boy. Also together is the hard part, there were a lot of things they kept hidden from one another either out of discretion for their cult business or out of shame, and I know what Kass' answer would be if it was a separate thing and its bad

Together though... there was that story beat I floated a few weeks back about Kass attending one of his business dinners with rivals and the two of them killing them all one by one around the table while she's dressed like a slutty maid and they fuck on the table etc etc, that one is so hilariously unhinged if only just imaging their terrible acting, it makes me laugh

They also did the experiments mentioned in one of Gortash's in-game notes together, experimenting to see whether the racial background of their victims made a difference in their stamina and longevity and ability to withstand torture

11. What portfolio would they have claimed if they ever got to ascend? Would they simply usurp the current dead three or ascend and claim an unrelated portfolio of their own? What's going on there?

HOW FUNNY THIS QUESTION SHOULD COME UP because those who have read my longfic know that there's a specific point where Ao brings her before a tribunal of the gods, because she's weakened Bhaal to the point where she overpowers him, and Ao says "this can't go on, we literally just did the Second Sundering because of shit like this, you need to either usurp your father and become Murder or you need to surrender what remains of your divinity and become fully human" and Kass does have a long, hard think about whether it wouldn't be better for everyone if she killed Bhaal

(and it's possible that I have an absolutely BEAUTIFUL commission in the works from @lokorum featuring Kassara Bhaal, God of Murder, in her bad ending)

Redeemed Kass would have become the Goddess of Grace. The Lady of Second Chances. Guardian of those looking for a fresh start and redemption.

Enver is SO MUCH HARDER because I don't think tyranny is quite right for him, I don't think he'd slot exactly into Bane's place the way Kass would with Bhaal. He's not quite vengeance, he's not quite mockery... I want to say he'd be like the dark mirror to Gond. Gond stifles a lot of progress for the betterment of the realms (like how E.G. said that anyone isekai-ed into the Forgotten Realms would find their mobile phones exploding, or how he's tried to suppress the discovery of gunpowder) whereas I can see God Enver pushing progress at the EXPENSE of the realms... is it capitalism? Is Enver the god of capitalism? God, what an asshole. Why do I love him.

Redeemed Enver is the god of Wife-Guys

[1eoness]

BROOO u were literally probably the first author whose fic i read when i first searched up leon smuts last year 😭 ur works r so good n idk if u'll see this but it's nice to hear abt ur perspective, i feel like fics abt leon these days r so fucked up and scary, it reminds me of when i first read a fic of yours and it was nothing but normal and hot? i just mean it's like, what fanfiction should be, how smuts should be, just p in v and stuff without all that crazy shit, it sucks to see writers these days waste their talent on writing dead dove fics that are so horrendous that it really affected me mentally

helloo!! (im not dead mueheaheah)

WARNING : Mentions of dead dove content and the likes of its themes!

before i talk : [HIIIIII HEHAHEH thank you for your support!! i'm glad you liked my (very subpar) work! now that i look back on it those themes did enter a somewhat gray line at some point because i lacked a lot of experience in writing. i do not condone ever letting your professor have sex with you nor do i promote any kind of hate-motivated sex, or dubcon! it was merely a bold attempt of expressing hormones (if you know 😭) like a lot of people my age commonly do and so i had (and still have to) reedit the tropes in my work a bit, also because i turned 18 now and i wanna readjust my boundaries! i hope you dont mind. regardless, i love that you like those themes. very good! love you!! /p]

anyway, leaning more towards the topic at hand. i don't doubt that your opinion is much different than a large part of the community under this tag. which is a very, very good thing! i'm pretty sure it was ever since @/gilfhub's posts started to quickly rise in the top pages that lead a lot of users to be influenced and begin to tear down a very, very important boundary. i'm very sorry to hear that being exposed to that affected you mentally, that's the entire reason why i absolutely abhor blogs that post and enable that content. you're not alone on that either <3 and i agree! people should ALWAYS write boundaries in mind. i've lurked around the tag a lot and noticed a lot of "popular" writers who also have an alternative blog for dark content (this isn't just a specific account, there are a lot of these.) warnings don't make things better, they don't fend witnesses away, and it doesn't make you any less insensitive. "dead dove content" itself (which is really just incestual/horribly taboo sexual assault fantasies, no need to sanitize it) should always be suppressed and private (or, well, NOT WRITTEN AT ALL). the moment you put it up on any kind of digital page, you are attracting ANY kind of viewer and none of that shit is cute, i'm sorry. projecting your trauma onto a character is one thing but writing them as someone who skips the morality line is just straight up trying to exercise your power through the wrong means. just as much as you have the power to express yourself, you also have the power to make someone very uncomfortable. people don't think about these situations in the long run, that's why. they seem to really like using the "leon is just a character, i promise he won't care" argument which i also think is total bullshit cause this isn't even about leon, it just entirely reflects what your true values really are. they centralize around the need to express yourself at the expense of other people's comfort (because, for the nth time, it's a public space with an unpredictable demographic yet people seem to really like just doing the "bare minimum" on their part). whilst your perception of a traumatic experience may be valid, it doesn't give you any excuse. this is far from the idea of free individualistic expression, it is just as bad as some 4channer posting about wanting similar situations be inflicted onto them with even real, sentient people. because we all know why these themes allow themselves to be exposed to the audience and that's because it tries to appeal to a very specific group of people (which is very disgusting.) they want to be so condescending, too. like "oh grow up, i'm all under ur skin and for what." it's blatant ignorance, you're not very smart!

and finally as ironic as it is, porn is to blame for enabling a lot of similar themes. it's so obvious, too, a lot of fictions like the ones you mentioned that are dead dove always have to mention pornography titles in it. (honestly doesn't have to be dead dove either). sanitization can be done in MANY ways, and a lot of the times I notice it's through the way of romanticizing or aestheticizing it. I'm talking about those who put up mini pinterest-board headers of like three whatevercore images and then putting lyrics at the bottom of it. it's like an attempt at writing a very bad fucking movie not gonna lie. for example, they end up trying to decorate their post with elements that fall under anything curated aesthetic. and guess what? we've all been there but NOT for writing about uncle!character and their kid reader thats just flat out WEIRD. trust me you are NOT anais nin, you do not have to write lyrical prose and try to beautify something that will always be ugly and demented to its very core. you cannot call dead dove content "artistic vents", either. i also think i can understand that some people are victims who have failed to get help thus they try to cope through other means. but i will never applause someone for making the right choices. i think there's no excuse behind writing dead dove content other than to self mutilate your mental health in the long run for a temporary moment of "safe fun", and not even knowing that it is also in/directly harming the public eye.

it's rotten. it's disgusting. dead dove writers should not be welcomed in any fictional writing space. i've been triggered over and over again and it made me put off writing and reading for a very long time. i've experienced something similar before and i have gone crazy over it, and trust me, the things these people write so "generously" for their viewers are NOTHING but toxic waste.

tumblr is NOT your space, but everyone has a space in tumblr, so be conscious of yours.

i also encourage people to not stay silent on the matters if they want to speak up on it but are afraid of getting backlash. i've seen people delete their accounts over it (which, i guess is good on them since then they won't have to confront this kind of space anymore).

[aroaceleovaldez]

Okay these tags on this post reminded me of a HoO/TOA thing that I complain about a lot but I don’t think i’ve ever elaborated on here:

[Image ID: Tags from @fr0zenpepsi​ reading - “#and jason fUCKING DIES before he even get fixed like #you dont know how excited i was when the diorama thing was mentioned like #make him artistic too!! make him be into architecture too! #and he plays lacrosse???? #like his character has sooo much potential yet hes just a boring white guy :< #thats prolly why his death is pretty lame #it meant a lot to the plot but like do we even know who we lost?? #more than half of the fandom doesnt even like him bc hes just so plain :/ #also hazel is a queen and i love her shes literally the best” /end ID.]

One of the big issues I take with both HoO and TOA is that literally every death in both series feels cheap because death has lost consequence. For the majority of HoO it’s at least somewhat still of a risk, but even things like Tartarus feel extremely lackluster when we actually encounter them - Tartarus especially after we saw how much it affected Nico, but then Percy and Annabeth’s plot armor kind of negates all of the threat and it feels like they don’t actually experience much more than their usual threats down there or that it has any lasting effect on them. And after Leo’s “death” we’re basically solidified into “Death has no consequence” because we just finished a series with at least SIX INSTANCES of major or minor protagonist-aligned characters notably directly cheating or miraculously avoiding death (Jason, Hazel, Gwen, Frank, Jason again, Leo), not including also miscellaneous minor antagonists. Which is aggravating because you can make a “Hey, these characters can’t die!” plot work, especially if that’s the root problem they’re trying to solve! It does work in TLH and SoN! And we’ve even seen it before in Battle of the Labyrinth when Percy fights his half-brother!

But HoO basically nullifies all consequence the characters face from MoA onwards and post-BoO “death” carries no weight, because by this point we have so many excuses to get around it or avoid it or come back from it that who cares! And this continues to be a thing post-TOA! Even just in the plot summary of Chalice Of The Gods we’re introduced to YET ANOTHER “Cheat death!” item! And I’d bet we’re gonna get one in TSATS too cause we’re almost guaranteed to see Damasen again, and the like one singular myth that exists referencing Damasen also specifically mentions an herb called “the flower of Zeus” that can revive things from the dead.

And it’s extra annoying because in TOA we keep getting character deaths shoved in our faces and told we should care about them, but either they’re characters we have little to no emotional connection to (such as, like, All Of Camp Jupiter in Tyrant’s Tomb when the camp is threatened and we’re told we should care, but we’ve barely seen the camp at all besides beginning of Son of Neptune and beginning of Mark of Athena, and the only living characters we get to actually see in Camp Jupiter from before TOA are Gwen, Dakota, Don the Faun, and our HoO protagonists.)

And Jason’s death is particularly annoying because a.) He’s essentially cheated death twice already [Piper bringing him back from either death or near-death when he accidentally witnessed Hera’s true form, and then his whole spear injury that was slowly killing him but was healed with [checks notes] the power of friendship], and b.) the scene DIRECTLY PARALLELS HIS FIGHT WITH MIDAS. Which, you know, he WON. VERY EASILY. And you can’t even argue “oh but this time Piper and Apollo were right there so he couldn’t have done the same thing!” because PIPER AND LEO WERE THERE WITH MIDAS. Heck, so was Lit! Who also survives and comes back in TOA! So not only is there no excuse for Jason to have not somehow miraculously avoided death (alongside every other TOA character, basically), but he SHOULDN’T HAVE DIED IN THE FIRST PLACE because THAT’S NOT A FIGHT HE SHOULD HAVE LOST! Him losing that fight is directly contrary to what we know about his character! And “he shouldn’t have lost that fight and died” doesn’t feel tragic here, it’s just aggravating! It’s just bad writing! And there’s no way around it because nobody cares about characters dying by that point in the series anyways because it doesn’t mean anything! We’ve had too much random death fodder in HoO (like the Hunters) directly alongside characters experiencing little to no consequence when they should from their experiences (Percy & Annabeth in Tartarus, literally every character nearly dying, etc.). The only characters we do see experience any kind of lasting consequences from near-death experiences are Hazel having blackouts in Son of Neptune (which are magically erased by Mark of Athena) and Nico being heavily implied to be permanently physically disabled after Tartarus (which is half-ignored when not plot relevant in TOA and completely ignored in the short story Un Natale Mezzosangue, which gives me reason to suspect it will also be ignored in TSATS). Not to mention Frank’s curse is also randomly erased in Tyrant’s Tomb, which is extra stupid because by following the logic of that scene his curse should have been lost back in Son of Neptune when he freed Thanatos, because he was using his curse for the same exact reasons with the same exact mindset. He literally did his character arc twice. Whatever.

HoO and TOA are just such a mess writing-wise of Rick trying to haphazardly incorporate as many myths as he can with zero attempts at cohesiveness that it doesn’t make any sense (I invite you all to read just the Team Statue chapters of BoO and take a moment to process how absolutely nonsensical it is) and he fails to consider the consequences of including certain myths, both in terms of how their aspects will impact the larger plot and also the historical context behind those myths and if how they’re being applied is offensive.

TL:DR: Jason’s death is stupid from literally every angle and HoO and TOA have a problem with literally any kind of narrative consequence.

[askweisswolf]

Fanfic Writer Questions

Thank you for the tag @foibles-fables!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

19!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

Currently at 89,257.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Oh man, uh. I think it would be better to say what fandoms I don’t write for at this stage, it’s still crazy to me to think it’ll be twenty years this year that I started writing fanfic. Currently I’d say Baldur’s Gate 3 has me by the throat, with a little bit of the DCAU (specifically, Justice League/Unlimited) and the occasional dash of Fallen Hero and Dragon Age that I post to Discord servers. I’ve also got a few Mass Effect short pieces floating around. I really need to post to my AO3 more.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I’m going to mess with this one a bit and go off of my top five finished fics by fandom and stick to the ones I wrote solo, that way it’s a bit of a mix. I apologize in advance since a lot of these are years old at this point, but it definitely goes back to what I said before about writing in multiple fandoms, ha.

Rest for the Weary (Frozen) Flare (SPOP) The Same Big Sky (Fire Emblem: Three Houses) Skin Deep (Dragon Age: Origins) At The Door (Baldur's Gate 3) 5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I’m not always the best at it but I genuinely appreciate everyone who takes the time to comment on one of my fics, it means the world to me and I always love hearing everyone’s feedback and thoughts, it makes me so excited for my own writing.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

If we’re going purely by just what’s on AO3… hm. For stuff that’s a bit older, easily The Silence Is Your Answer (Fire Emblem: Three Houses). For something I wrote more recently, Few Finer Torments (Baldur’s Gate 3) because I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Shadowheart in Act 2 specifically.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

… Most of them. Oh my God I’m mainly a fluff writer, like I knew this about myself but to actually realize it so starkly is something else. Of my most recent stuff I’d probably say A Little Slice (Justice League Unlimited) has possibly the softest ending I’ve written in awhile.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully not.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not often but I do sometimes! All of it so far has been for f/f ships, mostly with a lot more focus on like… the thinking and the feeling aspect of it and not so much the physical aspect, if that makes sense? I just like using sex as a way to explore the characters, when I’m in the mood to write it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Oh, man, okay. I have written a few crossovers over the years, but my favorite is still one I co-wrote with a friend of mine for the Beast’s Lair fan forum back in the day that was just a complete off the walls one-shot crack crossover with Fate/Stay Night, Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, and I think we had a dash of Highschool of the Dead right at the end. It was insane, we wrote it on a Skype call in a matter of hours.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know, thankfully.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not! When I was more active on FIMFiction.net though I did have a few people who did live readings of my fics, those were always neat.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I’ve co-written with him a lot before, but Pen Pals (Frozen) was co-written with Moczo. Just a heads up that I think he has it set that you can only read it if you’re logged in, if you want to check it out.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

… I don’t think I can only pick one, man. I really don’t. If I have to, my brain always comes back to Shayera/John or Raven/Terra.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I feel like I owe everyone who started reading my The 100 fic or my Black Widow fic an apology at this point.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, emotional payoff, character study (I guess?). I have one friend who told me I write very good Catholic guilt.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sex and fight scenes are the absolute bane of my existence, for as much as I enjoy the character potential of the former in particular. I’m also slow as hell, I’ve been working on this one Shayera/John fic now for like a year trying to finish it before I post it and ugh.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If it fit the context of the fic I would, yes! I’d double check it with someone else who knows the language first, though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Like, ever? Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers to my old Fanfiction.net account when I was 13. I had a bunch of old stuff saved to floppy discs that I never posted, though.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

This changes on a nigh daily basis, but currently I’m having an absolute blast with my The Beast Whisperer series focusing on my Tav who romances Shadowheart, so I’ll leave the link for it here.

Going to gently tag @optiwashere, @kittlesandbugs, @antigonick, @miabicicletta if you guys want to participate, no pressure! And of course anyone who sees this is free to respond as well.

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

This week we have twenty-three amazing fics to share involving Essek and another member of his family! Due to the nature of this theme, we have expanded our list this week to include some gen fics, along with fics where shadowgast is technically the secondary pairing. Read more under the cut!

what luminous worlds await by essektheylyss (midnightindigo) (178674, Mature) Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, tags include: Violence, Minor Character Death,Implied/Referenced Self-Harm Set a milennia after c2, Essek-the champion of the Luxon-wakes up to a world he's not familiar with anymore. But he's not facing things alone and may just find possibilities he does not expect. Reccer says: Specific to this week's theme: inclusion of a wonderfully complex Deirta in particular! As well as Verin who helps Essek on his journey. Overall a wonderfully touching story with complex characters and relationships, countless gorgeous scenes and a wonderful flavor of shadowgast

A Family Affair, or The Arrival of Verin Thelyss and All That It Entails by Dragonslaeyr (21471, Teen) Warnings: None 5+1 times Caleb encountered Verin Thelyss, and maybe misunderstood who he was to Essek Reccer says: Absolutely hilarious misunderstanding and mutual pinings fic

Get Help by professor (515, Teen) Warnings: no warnings Post canon, the M9 have been captured. Essek enlists his brother Verin to help rescue them. Reccer says: It's a meme shitpost in ficlet form but I always laugh when I read it.

some things time can't fix by Chrome (25930, Mature) Warnings: None A Daemon AU, Essek is captured by the Dynasty, Caleb manages to rescue him before they execute him, but not before Essek gets severed from his Daemon. Caleb has to race to find a way to reconnect Essek and his daemon before they fade away and die. Reccer says: Another wonderful, heart-rending hurt/comfort fic by Chrome; it's also maybe the only fic I've ever read that depicts Deirta as 100% a good and loving mother to Essek. It's not the main focus of the fic (she doesn't show up until the last chapter) but it's a refreshing change of pace after reading a billion Bad Mom Deirta Thelyss fics.

the last true mouthpiece by hanap (35722, Teen) Warnings: None Essek has been chosen by the Luxon, but all Verin sees is his brother being corrupted by the light Reccer says: Heartrending take on the Thelyss family relationship and Essek's faith

No One by that Name Lives Here Anymore by Operafloozy (13138, Teen) Warnings: None Caleb and Essek run into a reincarnated Essek's Father in Uthodurn. Reccer says: It's a beautifully written fic about a complicated relationship that delves into what consecution might be like. Comes with a commentary track and a sequel I haven't read yet.

The Secret Romance of Essek Thelyss by Cardinal_Daughter (18629, Explicit) Warnings: None Essek wants to celebrate his and Caleb's anniversary and his mother has other plans. With a sprinkling of Verin at the end. Reccer says: I love this and the fic it's a sequel for (you don't have to have read the first one but they're both great)

Rendezvous with a Ghost by kaeda (12344, Teen) Warnings: None Verin thinks Essek is dead until he shows up to invite him to his wedding. Verin spends most of the fic confused. Reccer says: Nothing

the wreck of all we burnt by essektheylyss (midnightindigo) (6617, Mature) Warnings: None Essek's mother has died and Essek has never learned how to mourn Reccer says: a wonderful exploration of grief or lack thereof

OPERATION: HOT BOI LIBERATION (or: How I Spent My Spring Break in Rexxentrum, by Verin of Den Thelyss) by CatgirlTheCrazy (6404, Mature) Warnings: None Verin thinks Caleb is holding Essek hostage, chaos ensues Reccer says: Verin discovers what a cat is

interim by vagabondfirefly (995, General) Warnings: None Verin witnesses a private moment Reccer says: It's so soft your honour

The Governess by Professor_Rye (13826, General) Warnings: None Essek and Verin's childhood through the lens of their nurse maid Reccer says: So sweet and touching it made my heart ache, I fell in love with the boys alongside their nanny

That's why it's hotter under the water by professor (3231, Teen) Warnings: no warnings The Thelyss brothers find out firsthand that sometimes genetics are really fucking weird. Reccer says: So many hijinx and shenanigans. Verin is peak himbo, and Essek is facepalming forever.

jam and noodles by royalgreen (allyoop) (2578, General) Warnings: No warnings A magical mishap brings two brothers closer together. Or, Essek runs afoul of some Aeorian magic, and the M9 call in Verin for help. Reccer says: Excellent brotherly bonding, the chaos of Verin meeting Jester, and a fun cameo from Long Essek.

The Chosen AU by Anonymous (90296, Explicit) Warnings: Incest, cannibalism, violence, mental illness and trauma A dark AU where Essek is the chosen of the Luxon and Verin is a paladin. They have left the dynasty and found a home in Port Damali. There they meet friends, both OCs and the M9. Caleb soon becomes a part of their relationship. Reccer says: The language and storytelling is smart and witty. Both horrible and cute things are described with a raw and unforgiving tone, in a way that makes me hungrily gulp down the text. Essek's powers are horrifying and mysterious and the story is told non-chronologically in a way that really works. The glimpses of calm, love and friendship are so sweet when they come. A warning though: the brothers have a sexual relationship. However, it's not overtly explicit.

Family Resemblence by firefright (1289, General) Warnings: None Verin meets his niece. Reccer says: Tooth-achingly sweet, this fic is an adorable look at shadowgast and their family post-canon.

the loudest voice in my head is my mother by hanap (2800, Teen) Warnings: None A pregnant Essek is visited by his mother and has to face conversations he tried to avoid Reccer says: Delicious choice of a POV that will have you rereading the fic to catch all the subtleties

and after the scripture (your mother beside me) by SaltCore (9531, Mature) Warnings: Canon typical death and resurrection, grief/mourning Essek has died, but don't worry, he gets better. When the m9 goes there to get his body they meet Dierta. Reccer says: This is the best Dierta I have read. She is incredibly complex and human, in a way that made my heart ache.

the edge of the blade by jaskofalltrades (56205, Teen) Warnings: None Essek and Caleb are forced to fake an engagement, to get out of one Deirta had arranged. Reccer says: Very interesting read, the political machinations make the story very tense, and the oining between Caleb and Essek is delicious!

And two recs each for

how language fills the cracks by hanap (5027, Teen) Warnings: None Essek discovers he's an uncle, to his shock. Reccer 1 says: It's very sweet, for a lot of reasons, and keeps you surprised! Reccer 2 says: It's so sweet.

All Things in Perspective by firefright (20729, Mature) Warnings: None Verin has a lot of questions about the supposed "death" of his brother in Eiselcross. He eventually finds the Mighty Nein and gets the answers he's looking for, but some are a lot harder to swallow than others. Reccer 1 says: This fic is perhaps my favorite "Verin meets his brothers new friends and finds out what he did" fic of all time, and written by one of the best Verin writers in the whole fandom. Verin is the peak Lawful Good himbo to complement Essek's formerly-neutral-evil-war-criminal, and they are the perfect balance of "would die for each other" and "constantly give each other shit." Also uses outsider POV brilliantly to highlight just how drastically the Mighty Nein changed Essek. Reccer 2 says: It's heartfelt, it's comedic at times and the brotherly bond feels believable. Bonus points for Verin's POV - we get to see his reactions to the Nein.

Lay Your Bones by LadyOrpheus (53587, Teen) Warnings: Small, nondescriptive flashback to a miscarriage After Essek is captured and turned over to the Dynasty, Verin has to pick up… the pieces? No, not quite, but he does have to pick up Essek's daughter. A race against time as Verin tries to save his brother's life. Reccer 1 says: This is THE verin fic for me. You fully buy into his anger and his forgiveness. Dierta is also so complicated and tasty. Reccer 2 says: Lovely Verin-centered fic with incredibly cute moments with Essek's child and a lot of interaction with the Nein

And then three recs for

path of the traveled sun by mousecookie (6008, General) Warnings: None Verin is invited to Rumblecusp with the Nein and Essek, and is amazed by how much Essek has changed. Reccer 1 says: SOFT. Reccer 2 says: It's incredibly warm, but it doesn't shy away from complicated feelings. Nice characterisation. Cute baby. Reccer says: Nothing

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast.

Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week's theme is Scourger/Evil AU, so stay tuned!