#also if anyone has any input for this please feel free to add on! i'm sure theres more details somewhere out there that i'm missing

[bipolar-boygirl]

The Castle Beyond The Goblin City

so, me and @sweetdangerine were talking about what the layout of the castle even is, since we don't actually see that much of it, and i was thinking of making a post about it anyway, so here we go! lots of pictures and visual aides ahead

starting simple: the castle itself

this is the clearest shot we get of the castle in the film

there's also this one, but its kinda crummy because its from a distance towards the start of the film

so the castle seems to be made up of one main building, two (maybe three?) towers, and a second smaller building connected by a bridge or something

it's hard to see, but i'm pretty sure this little dark blob is the entrance

we get a nice shot of the doors where you can see some organic rock to the right of it, which lines up with the doors being right next to the weird rock formation in the other picture

the doors open and we get to see a bit of the interior

not much to really glean from here, other than whoever designed this castle must really like stairs, cause this hallway is ALL stairs. we do learn that the way to the throne room is to the right of the main entrance though because that's the direction our characters go

speaking of the throne room, where in the hell is it? I'm pretty sure it's somewhere in this section of the building

we get this shot of Jareth looking out of the window during the battle, and again we see more of that organic rock to the right

but the window he's looking through looks completely different than the one we can see in the wide shot, and we also get to see his view from the window a few scenes later

and this seems pretty close to the ground level, comparatively, so I think the window might be hidden from view by the rock formation, or (and maybe more likely) it's an inconsistency between set pieces

the entrance into the throne room is right next to this window on the inside, so I also think that the rock formation is actually a part of the castle/has been built into from the inside and made a part of the castle

also, the hall into the throne room actually forks and looks like it leads into barracks or something similar, based on the flag

and then finally, the throne room itself

it's a very circular room, with windows on three different sides, which I think helps strengthen the idea that the throne room is in the section of the castle that juts out from the main building, and, if we're allowing for slight inconsistencies between set pieces, there's also this little bit that sticks off the side of the building that I think would fit the curved hallway into the escher room quite nicely

which means the escher room is in the main building that sits behind where the throne room is, which makes sense for how big it is (of course discounting any kind of magic shenanigans that might be going on with that room)

and that's all I got. the left side of the castle and the towers are a complete mystery, but that's why we have fanfic, isn't it?

I've been scrutinizing the hell out of this movie for set details for awhile, so it's nice to finally put it all down in a post, and maybe I can save some of you from losing your minds the way i did lol

[zizz-asdf-re-r-o-u]

Headcanon time: Who might be on the aroace spectrum in a sex game?

I missed arospec week by... a few weeks lol. And hey look i'm making a Nukani headcanon post instead of a questionable theorizing analysis for once! If you have contributions for characters I don't have enough info on (especially Quincy), please add on!

Disclaimer: I'm aromantic but allosexual. For me, this means I experience sexual attraction, but not romantic attraction. In my local kink scene, I actually personally know several community members + friends who are asexual or aromantic or both, and some engage in sex while some don't. And lastly for demographic proof only, I'm in an unofficial discord server where some unspecified members are asexual, but they still play this porn game, so yes not everyone who plays this game are into romance or sex.

TLDR: someone can be asexual or aromantic or on the aroace spectrum and still have sex but that varies for everyone!

Now that that's out of the way, here are my headcanon times! None of this is true or ever will be true due to the marketing of a porn harem game, but I think it's fun to headcanon! Feel free to disagree cause I know how people reacted to that "Is Aster trans" reddit post.

Speaking of Aster. I think he's also aroacespec! In his SR room 5, we got text narration ONE time that he gushed or orgasmed or something with a vague hot rod behind Eiden's back. But we've never seen Aster naked nor involve his genitals with another body in the 5 H scenes we have with him. And unlike EVERY other character, he’s only described to have orgasmed once. He also constantly talks down on morvay’s sexual habits, and while it’s a running gag that’s played for laughs, isn’t it possible Aster actually thinks this way? But is still willing to engage in sexy times with Morvay because they're essence creatures so that's how you exchange essence, and they’re basically an old married couple & deep down they do care about each other. And remember what I said about aromantic or asexual people who still engage in kink or sex.

Next, Karu my beloved chew toy. At the time I wrote Garu/Karu analysis part 1, I thought both of them were firmly allosexual but also presented some evidence someone could use to argue Karu might be demi or aroace or something else. But the more I think about it, the more I think yeah, he might be. Or he’s just a tsundere. I swear I'm not delusional and am a logical canon-based theory fan. (Btw, according to google searching, it is possible for different alters to have different sexualities, so this does not apply to Garu).

Quincy- I have never watched a Quincy intimacy room (including his SR & R cards that I have unlocked) but my vibes based off all the other story content with him makes me think he might be in the umbrella, so Grey-ace, Demi, etc. From what I’ve heard other people say, Quincy has had a lover in the past but currently only has sex if Eiden begs for it. This might fit into the definition of people who don't really care for sex themselves, but is interested in it for their partner. If anyone has Quincy cards and has more information, please let me know!

Huey: ok so we have almost no information on him. But he didn’t have sex with his clan members. He was definitely not romantically invested in any of his clan members nor do I recall him having hints of being sexually or romantically invested in anyone else, which does not equate aromantic or asexual but its still possible. And that’s all I got. Anyone got additional input?

Eiden: ah our beloved Eiden. Let’s ignore that in meta, he’s supposed to be the audience self insert (even though he’s the least self insert type MC ever) and therefore he is not going to “prioritize” one ship over another.

Anyways, so I am 100% sure he’s not asexual. BUUUUT he has not expressed romantic lovey dovey attraction to his clan members. More significantly, he does not seem to pick up MULTIPLE clan members’ romantic hints towards him. Yes in Fateful Aegis, Eiden says “I love you too” back to Yakumo, but it’s prefaced with something like Your grandparents love you and I love you too-ish, which to me indicates found family love. Kuya has said the Chinese/Japanese equivalent of “I love you” (“the moon is bright/the moonlight is beautiful tonight”) and that totally went over Eiden’s head. Dante & Edmond are also intensely crushing on Eiden… but they’re tsunderes so it’s probably gonna take forever to get across. The other members are different types of dedicated but open relationships rather than traditionally romantic relationships (except for Rei, who’s still getting there). And I think this is a great thing! All these varying relationship styles that are given the same weight & importance & Eiden has such appreciation & care for all of them, despite not providing traditionally romantic affection back.

Aromantic people can still love their friends & family! We’re not heartless emotionless creatures. We just may not experience or be able to comprehend romantic attraction. And i don’t think that’s a defect nor a bad thing.* And I think it’s especially cool when we compare Eiden’s bad hookup habits in the real world with how he has multiple regular partners that truly value him and a new found family in Klein. If he was aromantic this whole time, it’s kind of a positive perspective, isn’t it? Some aromantic people do experience “squishes”, which is a term for when we feel emotional desire for a platonic relationship. Obviously none of Eiden’s relationships are truly platonic due to the sexual element, but they all lack the romantic element from Eiden’s side.

(Anyways, Eiden won’t ever “reciprocate” romantic love because it’s a harem game, but shhhhh. Also to anyone who says it’s an Asian game and the characters aren’t going to say “I love you”…. Well in their newest intimacy rooms, both Kuya and Yakumo literally just did. Heck one of Forest Night Kuya’s sprite dialogues repeats that!)

So yeah, I hope you enjoyed this pointless headcanons!

*Speaking from my personal experience, I’ve have several sexual partners over time, but I never had the desire to date them or be romantically invested in them. And a weirdly telltale sign, that Jaidenanimation pointed out quite nicely, is that when she listened to romance songs she was like “wait that’s what people experience when they’re in love???” I’ve read a TON of romance and have heard a TON of love songs, but I cannot relate to any one of them. I literally have not felt any of those feelings. And when I have sexual partners, the horniness is definitely the forefront compared to any “falling in love” feelings. I did have what I now realize were several “squishes” in high school/college. What squishes feel like to me, are like “I wanna be your friend & you’re really cool & I cherish you! Like a lot! And also I don’t mind if you fucked me!” which emotionally feels different from “I’m in love with you!!!” (Which yeah i still don’t know what “in love” feels like, and I’m fine with not knowing!).

[torchickentacos]

ok this has actually been bothering me for a while. Note that everythign I say is my own opinion and while I do think what I have to say holds merit, I do not claim to be an expert in any field I am mentioning here and if you see innacuracies in my statement, feel free to kindly let me know in a reblog and I'll reblog the corrected version. When we discuss ai art, (usage of the word art being left to open ended interpretation and debate since that isn't my point at all), I wish we could kind of section off the areas of artificial intelliegence we're actually talking about and SAY ai ART or ai WRITING instead of ai as a whole (though I understand its shorthand usage, that leads to conflation of it as a whole). Because AI, while very questionable in its usages right now, is more than art and writing.

AI is the screen reader I use in classes to help me read. AI is eye trackers people use for computers when they're immobile. AI is google add-ons that block certain things for visually sensitive people like epileptics. AI is medical pattern collecting and identifying in at-risk populations (which does have implications which I will mention more later). AI is auto captioning services, though they kind of suck half the time and give you very funny but innacurate youtube subtitles (shoutout to 'palkia you son of a bitch', though I think it's edited). It's voice commands for devices for people with limited hand mobility.

I am NOT an AI bootlicker asskisser whatever. I have opinions on ai art and artist ownership, but here's the thing: we can't condemn the term ai in its entirety when it's been such a huge acessibility thing. We can't immediately see someone use the word ai and immediately put them down as a crypto finance nft ai art bro. because GOD i hate nft bro ai whatever nonsense, the people who steal artist's work to put through their algorithms and create copies of it, but ai is also used for so much more and I feel like the current climate around ai is very pinpointed negatively at one aspect of it, but brings down other helpful aspects of it in the process of pointing out the very valid flaws with it. So, if someone skims this and sees me saying 'hey, can we please use some nuance here', I'm just waiting for the 'why are you on their side, ai is terrible, it steals from artists' or 'why do you hate ai, stop being a sjw whateverthefuck' thing when my entire point here is that we need to be able to separate what we're actually talking about here in a meaningful way. You can condemn negative parts of ai that are genuinely concerning for creative folk everywhere WHICH I FUCKING AGREE WITH while also saying that we need to be mindful of the fact that AI also means screen readers, translators, epileptic flash blocker add-ons, and so many other things, and by condemning anyone who uses ai as a whole you are bringing down SO many people with that in the area of effect of your sweeping statements.

TLDR the internet is doing that 'you're either with us or against us' thing and as usual it's marginalized communities, disabled people this time, being used as talking points and what-ifs on both sides instead of our actual input being valued as people who do use other forms of ai.

And we can talk about aspects of accessibility and medical ai in a nuanced way, too. there's definite data collecting implications in medical use of ai and machine learning. There's definite demographic collection and pattern recognition that can be used by medical professionals to misattribute things with more of a focus on data and statistics rather than on how medical statistics are skewed by sociological factors. (for instance, are southern 'people of walmart' rednecks all fat, or is it more in line with impoverished rural communities and food deserts leading to a link in demographic and weight?) There's negativity and hesitation and issues in all branches of AI and this isn't saying medical use AI is perfect because honestly, I'd argue there's more to be worried about with that than creatively used ai. BUT my point stands: you cannot use the term AI as an immediate marker for who's a bad person for supporting it and who isn't, because they very well may support ai as accessibility and condemn ai as an art tool.

[pathos-logical]

[ID: an animated GIF that reads "Tumblr 2022 My Year In Review", and shows a variety of moving stickers including the anon profile picture, grabs, stars, hearts, the plinko horse, the reblog symbol, and the tumblr symbol. It looks like a page out of highschool sketchbook. End ID.] (ID by @thetragicallynerdy <3)

I posted 7,770 times in 2022

118 posts created (2%)

7,652 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tmoblrina

@pathos-logical

@carfuckerlynch

@generic-internet-name

@three-magpies-in-a-trenchcoat

I tagged 6,482 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#described - 2,771 posts

#that's my queue - 1,032 posts

#described by me - 809 posts

#storytime - 675 posts

#unreality - 273 posts

#tumblr - 263 posts

#to watch later - 242 posts

#mutualsposting - 226 posts

#lovecore - 213 posts

#tropes - 184 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#i didn't see a post like this earlier and didn't have time to say it myself but happy diwali to all who celebrate i love you 💜🪔🌟🕯💛

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

who needs IDs, how do they help and why are they used? i've always been curious, i mean no harm by asking, so sorry if this is rude

Not rude at all anon, I'm so glad you asked!! Image descriptions are accessibility aids for vision-impaired folks and anyone who may have issues parsing an image (ex: an autistic person unable to comprehend a visually busy art piece). For people who can't see an image for any reason, IDs provide a way to understand what's on screen, whether it's a meme or tweet or art. For example, a blind person using a screen reader (a device that reads text out loud) wouldn't know what an undescribed all-image post was talking about, but with an ID they could know it's a tweet and then a meme mocking it

IDs can look abstruse and intimidating when you're unfamiliar with them, but I promise they're not! The simplest step to making your blog more accessible is scanning the notes of a post to find a comment with an ID and reblogging that version of the post instead! If you're interested in learning how to write your own IDs, I really love this post as a resource, plus the amazing People's Accessibility Server if you have questions or want to request descriptions! I'd also like to plug my pinned post, which has a link to a doc with templates for a ton of memes so you can describe posts yourself!

I hope this wasn't too much text and that your question was answered clearly, anon! Please feel free to go through my "image descriptions" and "accessibility" tags for more info!

115 notes - Posted October 13, 2022

#4

Copying tags in accessible ways on mobile

(Large text: Copying tags in accessible ways on mobile)

People screenshot tags all the time, whether to share a funny joke or add important commentary, but they often don't realize that this is inaccessible to vision-impaired people and many others. This is a problem because a lot of people primarily use Tumblr on the mobile app, which doesn't let you interact with tags at all unless you screenshot them. However, accessibility is always worth the extra time and effort you can spare, so here are some ways for you to easily copy tags without spending too much of either!

Image-to-text softwares

(Large text: Image-to-text softwares)

If you simply must screenshot those tags, you can still convert them back into usable text! There are plenty of easy-to-use websites that allow you to take any downloaded image and extract the text from them. I prefer onlineocr.net, but the Google Translate app has the same feature! All you need to do is input the image and hit the button, and it'll spit out the text for you to copy. This method is fantastic for images with lots of text, not to mention it's easy to do and generally accurate, and I use it all the time to great effect!

Going to browser

(Large text: Going to browser)

If you're on mobile, it's probably a safe bet to say that your phone also has a browser app. If so, all you need to do to copy the tags from a post is copy the link of said post into a browser and then copy the tags from there. This method can mean extra formatting, since hashtags and links won't copy over, but it's relatively low-effort to do and doesn't take long at all!

Going on PC

(Large text: Going on PC)

If you're on mobile, you can also consider saving the post with desired tags to your drafts. This means you can easily access it on another device, aka a computer, and copy the tags there! Copying tags on desktop is possibly the easiest way to do it, since all you need to do is highlight the text and paste it later- it'll even save the link formatting when you do! The only extra step you might have to do is add spaces between the tags, since they'll automatically come smushed together and only separated by hashtags. This method might mean you take a little longer to reblog the tags, but it is very much worth it to make the post accessible to all!

Going forth

(Large text: Going forth)

These methods are a smidgen more effort than just screenshotting or prev tagging, but I don't think it's a bad tradeoff at all! I hope this can provide quick and easy ways for everyone to get more used to thinking more conscientiously about accessibility. And these aren't your only options- alt text helps people who use screenreaders, and you should always add an image description below screenshots if you're going to add them. Hope this helps!

TL;DR: Instead of screenshotting tags, which makes them inaccessible, other options are: using image-to-text software, copying the tags on a mobile browser, or copying them on desktop Tumblr.

290 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#3

Gif makers will be like "how can I fit as many inaccessible font options as exist on planet earth into one three-word movie title"

413 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#2

How to Keep Doing Descriptions (from someone who does a fuckton)

Plain text: How to Keep Doing Descriptions (from someone who does a fuckton)

This is a list aimed mostly at helping people who already write IDs; for guides at learning how to do them yourself, check my accessibility and image description tags! I write this with close to two years of experience with IDs and chronic pain :)

Get used to writing some IDs by using both your phone and your computer, if you can! I find it easier to type long-form on my laptop, so I set up videos and long comics on my phone, which I then prop up against my laptop screen so I can easily reference the post without constantly scrolling or turning my head

I will never stop plugging onlineocr.net. I use it to ID six-word tags, screenshots of posts, and even comic dialogue! On that last note, convertcase.net can convert text between all-caps, lowercase, sentence case, and title case, which is super helpful

Limit the number of drafts/posts-to-be-described you save. No, seriously. I never go above 10 undescribed drafts on any of my four blogs. It doesn’t have to be that low, but this has done wonders (italics: wonders) for my productivity and willingness to write IDs. If I ever get above that limit, even if it’s two or three more, I immediately either describe the lowest-effort post or purge some, and if I can't do that then I stop saving things to drafts no matter what. No exceptions! Sticking to this will make your life so much easier and less stressful

My pinned post has a link to a community doc of meme description templates!

Ask! For! Help! Please welcome to the stage the People’s Accessibility Server! It’s full of lovely people and organized into channels where you can request/volunteer descriptions and ask/answer questions

I make great use of voice-to-text and glide typing on my phone to save my hands some effort!

Something is always better than nothing!!! A short two-sentence or one-sentence ID is better than no ID at all. Take it easy :)

If you feel guilty about being unable to reblog amazing but undescribed art, try getting into the habit of replying to OP’s post to let them know you liked it! This makes me feel less pressured to ID absolutely everything I see

I frequently find myself looking at pieces of art which feel like they need to be considered for a bit before I can write an ID for them, and those usually get thrown into drafts, where the dread for writing a comprehensive ID just builds. Don’t do that! Instead, try just staying in the reblog field for a bit and focus on the most relevant aspects of the piece. Marinate on them for a little; don’t rush, but don’t spend more than a handful of seconds either. I find after that the art becomes way easier to describe than it initially seemed!

On that note, look for shortcuts that make IDs less taxing for you to do! For example, I only ever describe clothes in art if they're relevant to the piece; not doing that every time saves a lot of time and energy for me personally

Building off of that, consider excusing yourself from a particular kind of ID if you want to. Give yourself a free pass for 4chan posts, or fanart by an artist who does really good but really complex comics, whatever. Let it be someone else's responsibility and feel twice as proud about the work that you can now allot more energy to!

As always, make an effort to find and follow fellow describers! It’s always encouraging to get described posts on your dash, and I find that sometimes I'm happier to ID an undescribed post when the person who put it on my dash is a friend who tagged it with "no ID"

TL;DR: To make ID-writing less stressful and more low-effort, use different devices and software like onlineocr.net and voice-to-text, limit the amount of work you expect yourself to do, and reach out to artists and other describers!

442 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

[ID: A cropped screenshot of two crabs on the tumblr dashboard. They are right next to each other and both say “love <3.” End ID]

PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Plain text: Peace and love on planet earth!!!!)

821 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr Year in Review 2022 ->

[coffeecakecafe]

Hey I was wondering why Riley might need a medical alert dog? I have two cousins with type one diabetes (as well as other health problems) that don’t need/make use of medical alert dogs. Is this just a common thing i wasn’t aware of or does the character have other complications?

Thanks, and I hope this didn’t come off as rude or anything, just curious! I love your OCs and just wanted to clarify this <3

Hi, thanks for asking!

When I initially started doing the research for Riley, diabetic service dogs came up as an option some people might choose to use alongside their regular care options, as sort of a peace of mind backup and emotional comfort animal. Sort of like another monitoring avenue people can choose to use, if they have it open to them. Riley has Sophie and also uses a glucose monitoring system on his arm. He can get really focused and sometimes doesn't notice when his sugar starts dropping, so Sophie is a big help for him.

From the meta perspective I liked the corollary between witches' familiars being animals with jobs and medical assistance dogs being animals with jobs, so it made sense to me to give Riley a dog with both jobs.

All that said, I'm still not through my writing and research stages, so if anyone would like to expand on this from a more informed place then please feel free to add on or correct me on anything! I'm coming at this from the outside (I have some type 2 in the family, but it's very different from type 1) so any input is valued and welcome.

[anarmorofwords]

Hi! You're probably not going to like this ask, but before getting into it I'd just like to say that this isn't meant as Kamala hate or anything, and I don't really want to offend.

Having said that, wouldn't it make sense that we get to see how Kamala treated Anna after she came out? It's in all likelihood one of the things that's weighing on Anna the most.

Obviously Kamala had her valid reasons: her parents aren't as liberal as the Lightwoods, she believes (knows?) their love is conditional as she's adopted, she's not white and not being heterosexual could further any treatment she's suffered from being different... Her reasons have already been listed multiple times by multiple people. Kamala has the right to stay in the closet and fear coming out. And while that shouldn't be villianised, we can't forget that closeted people can harm those around them.

If Kamala had kept treating Anna like a good friend, rumour would've sparked, and even if it was denied, she'd have been harmed by merely associating with Anna. Especially with the life Anna began leading; she could have been labelled as one of Anna's 'conquests' by the Clave. That, as we've established, is detrimental for her safety.

But at the same time, it would create a breach between Anna and Kamala. And Anna had the right to be hurt by it and weary of it when Kamala said she wanted a relationship.

If we look at it from that perspective, Anna's actions (though inexcusable in how they treated Kamala --who was also at fault for not accepting a negative for four months) make sense. Kamala wasn't only a fling of a week*, but also the girl she lost her virginity with, who asked her to be her secret (until she married Charles, after which Anna's affections would be discarded), who hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna suffered from homophobic commentary, and who now wants a relationship hidden from most of the people that know her.

Kamala shouldn't be forced to come out; but the harm that can do to the women she may engage with is reflective of what happens nowadays. I can mostly think of examples with gay men, so my apologies in advance. But how many women have seen their marriages ruined by their husband having affairs with men?

Creating characters that reflect a toxic part of the 'hidden' LGBT community shouldn't be seen as hating or villinifying. Thomas isn't out and he isn't labelled a villain by the narrative --because his actions don't harm anyone. The hate Alastair gets in-universe is because of his past as a bully, not because he's gay. Matthew's not fully out and he isn't villianised --like Thomas, because the decisions he makes to keep his sexuality hidden don't impact anyone negatively.

I'll even go as far as saying that not even the narrative villianises characters like Kamala and Charles. If it were, they'd be seen more like Grace in Chain of Gold. We'd see how Kamala's actions are affecting Anna's in more ways than anger (that in itself put the fandom against Anna), and the characters would note so. We wouldn't see scenes were Cordelia empathised with Charles, nor Matthew said he loved him.

Be it as it may, Kamala and Charles represent ugly parts of being closeted that can naturally occur when someone is in their position. LGBT people are human. Humans, when put into very difficult situations (and Charles risks his career; Kamala her safety), can make decisions that harm those around them. Consequently, the people they're harming have a right to feel, well, harmed in whatever range of ways --this goes mostly for Alastair, and very partly for Anna, whose treatment of Kamala was horrible.

Readers need to understand what is pushing these 'villianised' characters to harm (again, mostly for Alastair) the more prominent characters and go beyond how they are instantly depicted. Because these are complex characters based on complex real people influenced by very ugly realities we will move on from someday, but sadly not yet.

By the way, Charles and Kamala's situations aren't that similar beyond the closeted thing, but I crammed them together because of a post I saw you reblog.

Please understand I'm not justifying Charles's actions; that I understand the pain he's put Alastair through, and know that he shouldn't ever be near Alastair. Nor am I trying to justify Anna's actions nor hate on Kamala.

I'll just finish my pointless rant by adding that I do think cc has sensitivity readers. I think she asked a gay man to go through tec (I don't know if he still revised her other books, though), and know she asked POC's input when writing someone for their culture. I don't know much beyond that, but I doubt who revises her stuff is up to her. Wouldn't that be something the publisher is responsible for (honest question)?

*I've also noticed people using the argument that they didn't know each other long enough for Anna to harbour such ugly emotions towards Kamala, but Kamala also remembered Anna pretty deeply and is 'in love' with her. I just wanted to say that considering cc writes (fantastical) romance where someone can ask a woman they met two months ago marriage, stressing over time spaces doesn't make much sense. Just my take.

hi!!

alright, where do I start? probably would be best with stating that while I can analyse Kamala's situation with what I know/see/read about racism and discrimination and reasonably apply things I've read/heard from PoC to the discussion, as well as try to be as sensitive about it as possible, I'm still a white woman, so not a person that's best qualified to talk about this.

that being said - if someone wants to add something to this conversation, you're obviously more than welcome to, and if there's something in my answer that you don't agree with or find in some way insensitive or offensive - please don't hesitate to call me out on that.

back to your points though: (this turned into a whole ass essay, so under the cut)

I don't think Anna shouldn't be able to reminiscent on Kamala's behaviour/reaction to her coming out, or be hurt by it. what bothers me is the way CC talks about it - I can't remember the exact phrasing, but the post where she mentioned this suggested something along the lines of "you'll see how Kamala sided with the Clave and didn't defend Anna after her coming out", therefore putting the blame on Kamala and completely disregarding the fact that Kamala wasn't in position to do much at all. It suggest that their situation was "poor Anna being mistreated by Kamala". therefore I'm afraid Kamanna's main problem/conflict will remain to be portrayed as "Anna having to allow themselves to love again and forgive Kamala", while Anna's shortcomings - and Kamala's vulnerable position - are never discussed. I think it would be possible to acknowledge both Kamala's difficult situation and the possible hurt her behaviour caused Anna without being insensitive towards Kamala's character, but it would take a really skilled - and caring - author to do both of the perspectives justice. CC would have to find a balance between being aware of the racism/prejudice Kamala faced/ writing her with lots of awareness and empathy, and still allowing her to make mistakes and acknowledging them. As it is however, I'm under impression that she's just treating it as a plot device, a relationship drama.

I'd say no one expects characters of color to be written as flawless or never making mistakes, it's mostly the way these mistakes are written and what things these characters are judged/shamed/

And that's - at least in my understanding and opinion - where the problem is. it's that the narrative never even addresses Anna's faults, and portrays Kamala as the one that caused all - or most of - the pain, without ever even acknowledging her problems and background.

White characters in TLH make mistakes and fuck up - because they're human and they're absolutely allowed to - but the thing is, non-white characters aren't afforded that privilege. Anna's behaviour is never questioned - none of it, shaming Kamala for not being able to come out, dismissing her desire to be a mother, or any of the questionable things she did in ChoI. Same with Matthew, James, Thomas. Alastair and Kamala however? they're constantly viewed through their past mistakes, and forced to apologize for them over and over, forced to almost beg for forgiveness. Moreover, those past mistakes are used as a justification of all and any shitty behaviour the other characters exhibit towards them now, which is simply unfair and cruel. They're held to a much higher standard.

So I'd like to say that yes, Kamala was in the wrong to keep nagging Anna after numerous rejections, and she was in the wrong to not inform Anna about Charles prior to them having sex - but that doesn't give Anna a free pass to constantly mistreat Kamala. And let's be real, Anna isn't stupid - while at 17 she could be naive and uninformed, I can't imagine how after years of hanging out with the Downworlders and numerous affairs and being out and judged by the Clave she's still so ignorant about Kamala's situation. I definitely think she's allowed to be hurt, but to still not understand why Kamala did what she did? Anna isn't blaming her for not telling her about Charles earlier - which would be fair - but instead for refusing to engage in an outright romance with her. She's being ignorant - and consciously so, I think.

Overall, I think you're definitely right about how coming out - or staying closeted - can be messy and hurt people in the process, especially in unaccepting environments/time periods, and I've seen enough discourse online to know there will never be a verdict/stance on this that will satisfy everyone. I, for one, would really like to refrain from putting all the blame on a single person - but, at least the way I see it, CC is pointing fingers. maybe not directly, but she is. Kamala, Alastair and Charles have no friends or support systems, and the only people in the narrative that defend them are themselves (ok, Cordelia does defend Alastair from Charles, but not from shitty takes about him and his "sins"). Also, sorry, but I don't like how you say "hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna experienced homophobic comments" - it sounds very much judgemental. Kamala had every right to do that? The fact that she slept with Anna doesn't means she owed her something, and certainly not coming out and most probably destroying her life, or even defending her at the - again - expense of her own reputation, or more possibly safety.

As for Charles - it's a different issue here, at least imo - I fear that it'll be implied that his refusing to come out will is his main "sin", and therefore not something he can be judged for, which ironically, will be villainizing, but mostly will mean his actual sins are dismissed. This is where the scene with Cordelia feeling a pang of sympathy for him comes into play, and it worries me. I've never hated Charles for not wanting to come out, but rather for, let's see - grooming Alastair, disregarding Alastair's needs and feelings, disrespecting his mother, being a sexist prick, being low-key far-right coded "make Shadowhunters great again" etc.

As for sensitivity readers - I'm no expert, so I don't think my input is worth much. From what I've gathered from multiple threads/discussions on twitter, tho it is probably consulted/approved by the publisher, many authors push for that - and authors less famous and "powerful" than her. I'm not a hater, but seeing fandoms' opinions on much of her rep, I think she could do better. Because if she does have sensitivity readers, then they don't seem to be doing a great job - maybe they're friends who don't wanna hurt her feelings? Or maybe she thinks a gay guy's feedback will be enough for any queer content - which, judging by the opinions I've seen from the fans, doesn't seem to be true.

Again, these are mostly my thoughts and I'm more than open to reading other opinions, because *sigh* I really don't know how to handle this.

Bottom line - I really really don't want to be hating on the characters in general, playing God in regards to judging the struggles of minorities, or even criticising the characters too harshly for being human, flawed etc. What my main issue is is how CC handles those complex and heavy topics.

I hope I make sense and this answer satisfies you somehow - I also hope someone better equipped to answer might wanna join this conversation.

* I desperately need a reread of TLH before I engage in any more conversations like this, but I didn't wanna leave you hanging. So yeah, I might be remembering things wrong. Again, let me know, I'm very much open to being corrected as well as to further discussion.

* I use she/her pronouns for Anna because that's what she uses in canon

[saffigon]

Hey I don't mean to be rude but what's non-SAM aro? /gen. I saw it in one of your posts and I hadn't heard of it before

Sorry about the late response! I saw it, got distracted, forgot about it, and only now got back to it

It's not rude at all! /gen

Okay so I will point you to this post that describes it much better than me and also give my own input and how it applies to me. (There's also this section of my carrd that is pinned in my Intro post. /nm)

For me, I use non-SAM mostly because out of all the terms used to describe the experience of not defining sexual attraction, it's the most known, but not necessarily the most accurate of my own experience. I prefer neu aro but yk, it's even more unknown than non-SAM.

But, ultimately, non-SAM means (to me) that I don't define my sexual attraction. I define my romantic attraction (or lack thereof), my platonic attraction (or partial lack thereof), and my alterous attraction (or partial lack thereof). I just don't want to define myself as allosexual or asexual or anything in between, not in a negative way, just I don't really *personally* want to define it.

(I also use oriented aro, but that's a very new term and quite niche)

Though I haven't seen oriented aro or neu aro to have ace equivalents, non-SAM does have non-SAM ace as well that's functionally the same definition just with ace and not aro. It is a bit more uncommon than even non-SAM aro, but it is out there.

The SAM has it's own discourse, most of which I'm not that entrenched in, but whether you use the SAM or don't or have a complicated relationship with it is totally fine. It is a tool that is useful for those who want to use it and should generally not be the standard, just something people can choose to use or not use if they want.

If you have any further questions, feel free to ask!

Also, if anyone has anything to add or wants to correct me, feel free to, just yk, don't be a jerk (and please use tone tags)

[quilloftheclouds]

Hi! Sorry to bother, can you, please, help me with this doubt: how do affect nb people the topic of "souls have not gender"? it is hurting or negative? It is important part of the story I'm wiriting and it is heavily influenced by the religion I grow up in (I was raised as a buddhist, and even if I don't practice anymore it has molded the way I understand the world). (1/2)

If it is negative, there are some things I can do (like avoiding some specific hurting things) so I can keep the theme without promoting negative stereotypes about nb people? If you decide to answer this ask and someone want to comment something more, please, do it. The more opinions I have on the matter the better. Sorry for my English. (2/2)

First, of course, an initial disclaimer! I’m only one single person, so anything I say here is purely a personal opinion, and I definitely recommend you seek out other people’s input here. ^^

Also! I do not practice a religion or set of beliefs that includes information on the soul, so unfortunately I don’t have experience there, either. I’ll try to do my best with my response, though. I apologize if I say anything that you perceive as negative, since I’m also new to talking about this.

In your belief system, is the soul the same and identical for everyone? There is no age, or gender attached to it? If so, I would see it as being similar to how someone’s eye colour doesn’t have a gender or age. Brown eyes don’t mean you’re a woman or a man or a non-binary person, or whatever else. Your eyes are a part of you, and are usually very important, but I don’t think many people would say having blue eyes makes you a boy and having hazel eyes makes you something else...

I personally am not offended by the belief that souls don’t have a gender. I don’t really have enough information to tell you that your story’s way of handling this concept would be negative or not, but I can give a few things I would advise you do or don’t do:

Don’t make being non-binary “special” or “better” in any way because it’s connected to the soul not having a gender. I mean... you could. But you would need to be very careful about this, because non-binary people in real life are, well. People. We’re just people. Being non-binary doesn’t make me anything more than a person, and if you show non-binary people as being extra special in your world, it could make your readers think they have to treat non-binary people in real life differently.

If the non-binary character(s) in your story are special in some way (magic powered, not human, etc. when no one else is), add a non-binary character that’s not! If you show that there are non-binary people on both sides, your readers will no longer connect their gender to their being special or “non-human”.

That’s about all I can think of right now. Hope that could help!

Anyone else who has input to add, please feel free! I’m actually going to tag @scriptlgbt here in case you folks have anything to add on, but feel free to ignore. ^^

[evilblot]

It's Francis Petty again, I'd rather like to be your friend in fact! I have always wanted to make a pact without the leader of the fangirls of The Phantom Blot. After all, what kind of Self Crowned King would I be if I didn't make alliance to other leaders. So I feel like I'm not too great at writing The Blot. Any advice or headcanons you are willing to tell that might aid?

Just a question first, who is the leader then? Because tbh your ask got me a little confused about our roles in the fanclub lol

Anyway, this is a question that has been asked me many times before so I’m just gonna give my personal and absolutely non-binding opinion: just make your own.

Let me explain better: unfortunately nowadays trying to please the masses is something if not impossible, at least somewhat problematic for reasons we are all aware of, especially when it comes to writing a canonical character. Consequently, the first rule, so to speak, is to create your own version of that character based on what you like most about the source material and your personal taste.

My version of the Blot, for example, is primarily based on both his Gottfredsonian origins and the Italian canon as in my opinion it is the most complete and interesting one, moreover it’s also the one I grew up with and therefore I know it better than myself lol. Obviously it should be noted that although the bases are more or less the same, they can still vary according to the different sagas in which he appears (in the sense that in the Darkenblot he may behave in a way that perhaps contradict what happens in Goofy Reporter, for example, it’s all about contextualization) and on my personal preferences, although the latter are also adapted so that if on the one hand it makes him more human and/or relatable, on the other it doesn’t distort his original nature.

The result is a Phantom Blot who, while respecting the dogmas dictated by the canon, manages to free himself of it when I need him to without feeling forced or distorted, but above all he’s the Blot that I like, which in the creative process I learned was more important than any other shit flaunted by so-called purists of the genre.

Also headcanons? Boi do I have them! Even I think I’ve already answered this one too but maybe I wrote them in Italian, I don’t remember 🤔 I’ll get the original post and just translate it so everyone can read them as well if anyone is interested ofc

Anyway, long story short because I feel I’ve somehow dodged the more technical part of the question: just keep in mind what your canon of choice says, like the Blot being a mastermind, a skilled hypnotist, soft-hearted and such, but be flexible about it and then add details. Add your own input into it and just make him yours (is it a sexual innuendo? perhaps).

Thanks a ton for the ask and I can’t wait to talk again to you! And sorry for the delay, I take a while answering this kinda stuff because a. I get emotional and b. my memory is terrible so I have to keep consulting my notes lmao

[mental-health-advice]

my anxiety and depression have come roaring back because of job related stuff. i had a chance to move where i wanted (across the country), got the position, and just cannot get the transportation to the job or the rent aspect of the move to work out. i know it's the best option to back off from it and stay where i am, but it feels like failure and that i'm maybe not taking enough risks, though i know it just wouldn't work. news of me applying and getting this went around where i work already.

Hi there,

Thank you for sending in your ask to mental health advice. I am so happy that you came to us for advice. I hope to help you as much as I can. Also, sorry for the late reply! We currently have a large inbox of asks but are working hard to lower that number.

Don’t let what other people think or say about your decision get to you. Ultimately it should be you that makes whatever decision is best for you and only you. I have been where you are before with people already knowing about things going on in my life. My biggest suggestion is to choose what is best for you without other people’s input.

This sounds like a great opportunity that would take some time to think about. I think writing a pros and cons list of each decision would help you to visualize what would happen with each option. Cost would be a con of moving. But maybe the pay and your happiness would be a pro. I would write it down on paper and think of as much as you can add to it. That will help you think about your decision more thoroughly and make the best decision.  

I wouldn’t immediately shoot down the option of moving and taking the position. If you think that you can’t afford it then maybe you could get someone to help you out or try to take out a loan. Sometimes when I am in a situation where I need money, I ask for a little help from mostly family members. I don’t do this all the time and I wouldn’t suggest making a habit out of it. I do think it could help you to get on your feet. It may also be an option to wait a little bit until you’ve saved some money. You could possibly talk with your potential new boss and see what they say about it.  

I know that you can get through this! Did you know that we have a live chat service that is available to anyone who needs it? To speak with someone, you can send in a request for one of the live chat admins to talk with. You can also check and see if an admin has already posted that they are currently online. If you feel like you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services and/or go to the nearest hospital. I also recommend looking at our “I have an Emergency” page. Feel free to send in another ask if you feel that you have any more questions or need additional help.

:Helpful Pages:

-Contents Page

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-Rachel

“You’ve got a warm heart. You’ve got a beautiful brain.”

[mars-colony]

I saw your post about not writing about racism if you're white but to include POCs. I agree 100% but I'm also kind of in a pickle. I'm writing a FO4 fic my SS is Asian American, and I'm writing a lot of PreWar stuff. in the falloutverse the US was at war with China so I figured a few random dickwads would be racist towards her. I am not Asian American, I've never had to suffer the consequences of racism but I want to write this story. It's not about racism but it features it. is that okay?

Hi! I’m really glad you asked about this! This is a topic I myself try to be very mindful of, and something I’ve been working with in my own writing for the past several years. Here’s the post I believe you’re referencing: link .

I have a similar situation with my FO4 fic, as my main character Dollie is African American where I am white. The best thing you can do is make sure you research! Here’s a really great resource, my go to blog for questions about writing POC: link . They answer questions like this one if you need further help, and have a really good req page that could be useful!

I agree that it’s very likely your character would experience racism, and I can understand why you’d want to include that. My recommendation would be to do a lot of research. Ask any friends you may have that have experienced it, ask someone who has online, or look up personal accounts. You can also look to the game for examples, such as the terminal entries in the house in Natick Banks about an Asian American family Pre-War, and the entries on a military checkpoint terminal that hinted at extreme racial profiling Pre-War and how that affected Asian American civilians in comparison to other civilians.

Be very conscious of how you handle the topic, and make sure it doesn’t end up becoming a central theme of the work. Like if a character were making racist remarks in every chapter, that’s too much.

So, tldr: Do your research, handle the material with care, and avoid dwelling on the topic. I hope this was helpful, and please feel free to ask me other questions! If anyone else has input, feel free to add and definitely correct me if I’m wrong!

[lichlover]

Hi! Sorry if I'm bothering you but I was wondering if you could do a saizet and takko taz fic? Like where takko mets saizet randomly in the market and stuff? Would that be ok???

i kinda went my own way with this, hope you don’t mind! 

please consider donating to my ko-fi!

Here’s the thing: Taako knows he’s beautiful.

Not only does he know this, but he’s damn good at using it to his advantage. Every flip of the pan is accompanied with a wink and a smile; his late-night crowds are treated to the occasional innuendo. He prides himself on being unattainable in every sense. They flock to him in droves, scrambling for a shred of his talent and charisma, and he teases them with it like dangling candy over children’s heads. Taako specializes in entertaining, but once in awhile he does have to entertain himself—and what’s more entertaining than watching envy ignite like a rogue flame in their eyes?

He’s yet to meet anyone with the self-awareness to acknowledge their adoration like an addiction; something they’ll never get enough of, that they’re content to keep chasing for the rest of their lives.

That is, until he meets Sazed.

There are always a few fans who stick around. They linger, babbling on about their latest projects or how much of an inspiration Taako is to them, asking When will you be coming back, Taako? You’re coming back, right? Because I’ve got this recipe that I know I can perfect with just a little more time, and I’d love to get your input on it—

Taako waves them off with a vague response and a flashy wink, and eventually they dissipate, going their respective ways and leaving him on his own. It gives him ample time to breathe and come down from the euphoric high of the show, and in a way, it’s as much a ritual as it is sitting cross-legged on his bed and unlacing his braid. He values his rituals, as every star in demand does. That also means, in turn, that he doesn’t look favorably on anyone who disrupts them.

So the universe will understand if Taako turns a little sharply on his heel when he hears his name being called. And there he is. Average height, average build, all-around average look. The sort of person who could deflect a spotlight if it shone directly on him. Taako looks him up and down; takes him in with a subtle curl to his lip, and says, “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, yeah—” He has a nice enough smile, Taako supposes. It won’t stop a show in its tracks but, like the rest of him, it’s just enough to suffice. “I just wanted to, uh, compliment you on this whole operation. Seems like a lot to hold down, and, uh—oh, I’m Sazed, by the way.” With that same smile, just edging past mediocre, Sazed sticks out a hand.

Oh, well. He can be on for another minute or so. “Enchanté,” says Taako, easily shifting his sneer into a smile, and takes Sazed’s hand. The palm is rough and calloused against his, which shines comparatively with sealed-up scars and the odd superficial burn. “I appreciate it, my man. Takes a lot of work to maintain this—this little establishment. You must have an eye for entrepreneur… ism.”

“Oh, I do. Definitely. I just think it’s, it’s crazy how you’ve got this going all by yourself, and…” Sazed shifts his weight, and Taako has to bite back a groan, because he knows what’s coming. He’s seen it too many times before from the hopefuls in self-stitched chef’s hats and clutching Taako™ merchandise to their chests. Still, he keeps a smile plastered to his face as Sazed goes on. “That’s actually why I came up to talk to you. I had a proposition for you.”

“Well, gee,” Taako purrs, tilting his head to conceal a compulsory eye roll. “At least take me out to dinner first, huh?”

Sazed steps back like he’s been burned. “What? I meant—I was talking about a business proposition, not—”

So he’s decent, at least. This actually has the potential to be fun, and it’s been ages since he’s had a night out without having to scrape for the coin. Taako’s smile sharpens into a smirk. “I was kidding, kemosabe. Just cool your jets, alright? Tell you what.” He strips off his jacket, dusting off the blouse and slacks underneath, and tosses it into the back of the stagecoach. “I’ve got this venue rented out for the night, so what say you and I go somewhere warm, and you can give me your pitch? Break the ice with a couple drinks, maybe? I’ll even let you pay.”

The last part is usually a hard sell, but Sazed looks as if someone’s just flicked on the sun behind his eyes. “That… sounds great, Taako. Thank you so much. And I’d love to hear more about the show and how it works, y’know? Just for, uh, just for the proposition’s sake?”

One of his fans is asking him to talk his ear off, and he’s getting free drinks out of it, nonetheless. Taako can scarcely believe his luck. “Oh, if you insist,” he drawls, and flips a scarf over his shoulder. “Let’s hit the town, Sazed.”

Here’s the other thing: Sazed is nice.

It’s the kind of personality that prompts a Yes, and?; that begs complexity, that challenges depth. But as near as Taako can tell, Sazed is just—nice. He has a story so mundane it could have been used for a fill-in-the-blank: boring childhood, moderate education, parents retired in some beachside tourist trap. Thankfully, Taako only has to swallow a couple yawns before the conversation turns to him, and then he doesn’t have to fake enthusiasm. He goes on about his inspiration (Fantasy The Kitchen), his brand (“The name of the game,” he says, “is name recognition,” and Sazed chuckles), how he handles the crowds (gracefully, and with poise). The topic of his cooking is carefully skirted, as Taako isn’t big on giving away trade secrets, even to the guy who’s buying him alcohol. But Sazed is a good listener, as all lukewarm personalities demand.

It’s not just that. He’s open about his adoration. This man idolizes Taako and doesn’t try to hide it, not for Taako’s benefit or for his own pride. His honesty the one thing that sets him apart from the rest, and however much he smothers it with subtlety, Taako does love to be adored.

This is perhaps the only respect in which Sazed is interesting. It’s enough for him.

Once he’s feeling pleasantly buzzed, Taako drums his nails against the tabletop and fixes Sazed with his best dazzle-me stare. “So,” he says. “This proposition.”

Sazed looks like the proposition has been gnawing at him for the last hour, and he straightens up with a jolt at Taako’s question. “Right. Right. The proposition. Like I said, I really admire what you’ve got going on here. I think it’s brilliant, and I, uh…”

Taako preens. “Go on?”

“I’d like to get on board,” says Sazed.

Well. That’s disappointing.

Another way in which Sazed is exactly like everyone else who’s tried to get on his good side—he’s just trying to butter Taako up for a chance in the spotlight. Taako’s expression sours, and he takes a long sip of ale, wishing he’d asked for something stronger. Rejection never invites anything pretty. “Listen,” he interrupts, holding up a hand. “I’m sure you think you’re plenty talented, that you���ve got something special, whatever. But this is a one-man show, my dude. Only room for one standing up there behind that counter. And you might be good, sure, I’ll give you that, but I’ll tell it to you straight—you don’t have the panache for this sorta thing.”

Sazed blinks. He doesn’t even have a retort, which makes Taako want to down his entire drink right then and there. This guy isn’t really going to drag it out, is he? He’s not going to make Taako sit there and listen to every reason why he should work alongside him?

But in a second, he recovers, and says, “Oh, no. You got it wrong.”

Taako doesn’t appreciate being told he’s got it wrong, but he arches an eyebrow, giving his tentative permission to continue.

“I didn’t mean—I don’t want to be on the show,” Sazed stammers. “I agree, you’ve got the flash ’n everything down pat. I just thought you’d need a… I dunno, a roadie. Stagecoach driver. Right-hand man. Like, whatever it is you need, I can do it. I’m one of those jack-of-all-trades types, right? And—and I’m a fast learner, so if you ever need me to help out with food stuff—or not,” he adds, hurriedly, when the eyebrow starts to creep higher. “But I think I’d be a big help. And I’ll just take a small percentage of the profits for my salary. Nothing serious, nothing fancy, just… me, helping you out.”

Now that is a proposition.

“Tell me this,” says Taako. “Why ambush me after a show? Why not wait ‘til I held, I dunno, job interviews for this shit? Why approach me now and try to—” He waves the glass in Sazed’s direction. “Why try to bribe me with alcohol?”

Sazed turns a faint shade of pink and takes an impulsive sip of his own drink. “I wasn’t trying to bribe you. I approached you because I was trying to be enterprising. That’s all.”

Taako squints. He can’t tell if he’s crit failed or succeeded on his insight check, but there’s sincerity in Sazed’s voice. “Okay,” he relents. “Why me?”

This is the kicker. The be-all, end-all question. Sazed sits forward in his seat, folding his hands. “You’re an inspiration,” he says. “I’m sure you get that a lot, but I’m not trying to catch any of the light comin’ off you, y’know? I’m just looking to work for someone who clearly loves what he does, because that’s what makes the job worth it. I’ll get some of my own experience, and you can keep doing what you’re good at, and we both win. ’S like you said, Taako. Sizzle It Up is a one-man show, but I think you deserve a two-man operation.”

Maybe it’s the alcohol—it is, in all fairness, probably the alcohol—but Taako is rendered speechless for a good few seconds. “You know what?” he says, finally. “I like you, Sazed. I think we’re gonna get along.”

He holds his hand out, and Sazed’s gaze flicks down to it like he’s afraid to stare. “C’mon, my man,” says Taako. “You sold me. Once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Shake it or leave it.”

“Oh, shake it,” Sazed blurts, and then snorts at his own blunder, and grasps Taako’s hand. They shake, quick and firm, and then Taako snaps his fingers at the bartender. “Hey!” he calls. “Two more over here, okay? We’re celebrating!”

“Thank you so much,” says Sazed from over his shoulder. “I’m not gonna let you down, I promise—”

Taako retracts his hand and glances back at him. “Hey, fella? Less talkin’, more drinkin’, okay?”

With a tight smile of acknowledgment, Sazed nods and takes a swig of ale. That leaves Taako’s attention on the bartender, but he stalls as a waiter swings by and places a fiery-hued cocktail in front of him. And Taako’s all for free drinks, of course, but he’s not about to get charged for someone’s misplaced order. “Uh,” he starts, and then, “Um, excuse me? I think you got the wrong guy.”

The waiter pauses. “A gift from the gentleman at the end of the bar.” He bustles past, and Taako catches a tiefling with an equally vibrant cocktail staring in his direction. The tiefling’s lips curl up at the sides, and he lets his gaze drift languidly elsewhere, but he’s being about as subtle as a house on fire. Taako gives him a quick once-over and files that information away for later in the night.

He turns back and Sazed’s eyes immediately dart back to Taako. “Nice,” he says. “But, uh, you’re not really gonna drink that, right?”

Taako scoffs. “Why not? It’s free alcohol! You understand what free alcohol means, right? Alcohol? But for free? Sans prix?”

“Oh, y’know,” says Sazed, and rubs the back of his neck with an avoidant grin. “Don’t take drinks from strangers, right? Could be drugged or poisoned or somethin’.”

He’s so awkward that Taako can’t help but snicker. “Humor is really not your strong point, y’know that? Thanks for the heads-up, you’re a peach.” And then he drains half of the cocktail in one go, lifts his lips off the straw with a soft pop, and glances back at where the tiefling is sitting. Sure enough, he’s staring again. Taako grins.

The strains of a piano float overhead as he hops to his feet. “I’ll be right back, mkay? Stay right there and get yourself another round. Your treat. Or something.”

Sazed huffs with laughter and rolls his eyes and gives him a thumbs-up, and Taako spins on his heel and makes his way over to the bar. He could get used to this, he thinks. He could get used to having a right-hand man who’s at his beck and call, doing what he can’t be bothered to do himself, warming his seat and whatnot. With this man in his employ, he’s even more free to do whatever he wants—including shooting a flirtatious smile and a wave to the tiefling, who gets up with intrigue glowing faintly in his eyes.

Here’s the thing: Taako has Sazed in his orbit, and he doesn’t need to give it another thought.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hey, my life did change a lot a few weeks ago and today I discovered something: I get headaches from loss of control.

So, if I plan something and it doesn't go as planned or if I can't do something I intended to do on that day. If something is out of control. And my headaches are really horrible ones and they trigger my hypochondria which triggers my anxiety and at some point I am in a doom loop.

For example, I planned to go swimming yesterday but couldn't because my bus didn't drive. So the headaches came suddenly and severely. Then I looked up other places to go swimming, with less dependency on the bus, for the future. And my headaches went away completely.

I never had this issue before, I can pretty easily adept to every situation.

I started cleaning all day because it gives me a sense of control so you see, it is really bad xD

Ok no, seriously. I dissociated the whole week with little memory, because some things didn't go as planned and pushed me into a doom loop. And this has been going on for weeks.

I am already looking for a therapist but the waiting lists are months long, best case. Do you have any resources, any ideas, what I can do? Specific things, not just the usual calming methods because I am already doing those daily.

I see no way out, because I'll never be able to control everything so I need to change myself. But idk how.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been dealing with. It can be distressing and painful to deal with headaches on top of situations with unexpected changes. While we are not substitutes for professionals, there are a few different reasons why you may be experiencing this.

One possibility is that you may be experiencing psychosomatic symptoms. When someone gets headaches in stressful or unexpected situations, it could be due to their mind and body connection. Stress or sudden changes can mess with how our brain and body work together. Stress and anxiety release certain chemicals that can narrow blood vessels in our head. That can lead to less blood flowing there, causing a headache. Also, when we're stressed, our brain can make us feel pain more intensely, so the headache might feel even worse.

Another possibility could be that you're a system. Many people with dissociative disorders report experiencing headaches when another part gets close to the front or switches to the front, and switches can occur in stressful situations such as sudden changes of plan. It's also possible that your experiences of dissociating for weeks at a time with little recollection of what happened could be explained by other parts having taken the front.

Depending on what it is you're dealing with, recommendations for how to deal with it may vary. It might be best to get the opinion of a medical professional like a doctor. They can help you handle the physical side of things. Though I certainly understand how long waitlists can be, it's worth considering that a therapist could also help you better understand what you may be dealing with, as well as come up with healthy ways to cope. The input of an expert would be best in a situation like this.

If anyone has any suggestions or comments, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[1spoonatatime]

Hi! I'm a game dev and I want to make diverse characters. So I'm going around asking people in the community what they want to see in a disabled character or what things I should know about specific disabilities I'd rather avoid stereotypes.

Hey! This is really cool. This is going to be a long answer, because I have a lot to say. I’d encourage you to continue talking to people, research specific conditions, and be empathetic. We desperately need representation, and the fact that you’re working to avoid stereotypes is great.

Since I’m disabled, I’m referring to disabled people as ‘us’ throughout this, but please note that these are just my thoughts. A few general tips:

-Avoid having the character just be ‘the disabled one’ and have no dimension/traits. People with disabilities are…well…people. We have other interests, hobbies, relationships, etc. We are often asked to represent the disability community as a whole (just as black people may be asked to speak for all other black people, etc.), and while I myself am happy to talk to others about disability, I know it’s impossible for me to speak for every disabled person.

-Not all disabilities are visible! I think any representation is good, of course, but it’s incredibly rare to see characters with invisible disabilities (fibromyalgia, POTS, etc.). Maybe a character could change between a cane and wheelchair, since people often switch up their mobility devices, or perhaps they don’t need one at all.

-Don’t infantalize the disabled character, but don’t fetishize them, either. People with disabilities are either treated as if they have no sex drive, or they’re treated like a fetish that only a certain subset of people would want to be with romantically/intimately.

-A lot of us make jokes about our condition(s). “At least I have my health,” I’ll say when something goes wrong. Sometimes, you have to laugh so you don’t cry. I think if you want to have a character with ‘x’ disability, maybe ask people in that community what they find funny/exasperating about their disability, jokes, etc. Not everyone does this, but I know a lot of us have a bit of a dark sense of humor.

-Alternatively, having disabled people getting annoyed by common tropes/sayings (”have you tried yoga?” “you did ‘x’ a week ago, why can’t you today?” “you can pray your illness away” “you don’t look sick”), because, though people often mean well, most of us get annoyed by these lines. Also, doctors sometimes say these things; I can’t speak for everyone, but I am anxious seeing new doctors because I’ve been accused of my conditions being “all in my head.” When a doctor says something like that, it changes the power dynamic, it makes you wary, and I think many disabled people don’t put doctors/medical professionals on a pedestal, because many of us have been mistreated by them.

-There are little things people do that are related to our disability that most people don’t realize. For example, I have POTS and EDS (aka, dizziness, vertigo, low blood volume, prone to passing out, joints that can dislocate/partially dislocate, and chronic pain), so I’m constantly drinking water, rocking on my feet to keep my blood flowing (but not too much so my hips don’t go out), I make sure I don’t go out on hot days to avoid getting overheated, I am constantly leaning against things to stave off dizziness/vertigo, etc. Disability affects every aspect of our lives. That doesn’t mean that’s all we are, and I understand it’s a tricky balance between ‘not just disabled’ and ‘this affects everything.’

-This is more about the game itself, and I know you may not control this, but making the game itself accessible is incredibly important! I’m likely to watch/play the game myself if I know it has good representation, as are others, but it needs to be accessible. I’m not an expert in this area, so I can’t say what this will look like, but putting an effort into making sure the game can be played/viewed by everyone is important.

-Understand that everyone views themselves and their disabilities differently, and the same disability can affect two people differently. There’s not one perfect way to make a character with a disability, because we are the largest minority (1 in 5 people are disabled, according to the US Census), so we come from all backgrounds. Keep in mind, our other identities (being a woman, person of color, socioeconomic status, etc.) intersect with us being disabled. 

Thanks for reaching out! If anyone else wants to add input, please feel free to do so. Best of luck!

[2am-euphoria]

Just saw the trailer for The Good Doctor and I'm really hoping that it doesn't fetishize those on the spectrum because the base idea for the show is intriguing. I am always hesitant when shows about neurodivergent people are played by neurotypical people, though. Here's hoping it doesn't suck because I wouldn't mind having a good new medical show and it would be nice to see some diversity of experience. We'll have to see...

So perhaps I`m not in the best mood to answer this, but I also find that I provide my best answers when I`m emotionally charged so

First of all I want to open up the floor to anyone who is Autistic to share their opinions. Please feel free to add any input to this post. I would like to clarify that my opinions come from the perspective of someone who is neurodivergent (with ADHD, LD, and SPD), who studies the disability field, and who has completed an internship with young children who have Autism.

Okay, here we go. I`ll put this under the cut. This is long AF but I`m very passionate about this topic, SO

This show makes me pretty nervous for a lot of reasons. And perhaps it`s because television hasn’t exactly been great media platform for discussing disability (although I hear the shows Speechless and Parenthood are/were well done), but I digress.

-The first thing that makes me nervous about this show is how, when discussing the character (also, the tone with which they’re discussing the character in a meeting bothers me), they say “he`s high-functioning.” There are people who feel differently about the terms “high-functioning” and “low-functioning.” I personally do not like these terms, mostly because of the way in which they’re typically used. “Oh, don’t worry, that kid isn’t like, one of those problem kids or anything. He’s high functioning. You’ll be okay.” I’m not implying that’s how it’s brought up here (y’all can interpret that for yourselves), but that’s the context I hear it used in. I’ve been called high-functioning, but my friends, who have other Learning Disabilities, have not been called that. I’ve had the public ask me, after explaining my internship, “so are you with, y’know, those kids, or are they high-functioning?” 

-Now for the bigger reason: the public’s opinions on disability ultimately drives how most of society views disability. It has changed over the centuries (most considerably with deinstitutionalization), but there is still far more that can be done. Prevalent figures in the field have introduced concepts such as Normalization (that persons with disability deserve to be treated as individuals, period: they are entitled to their own rights, opinions, preferences, desires etc. and they must be respected, PERIOD), Inclusion (that persons with disabilities should be a part of their communities, with an emphasis on natural relationships [aka relationships with others that we have with our friends, peers, mailman, etc] and active, welcomed participation in the community [aka being there with the community when it rejoices, when it mourns], etc etc), and so on.

So, if we want these concepts to become reality, how can we make that happen?

-The answer is easier said than done. While there are more and more people who are well-informed about disabilities (including people with disabilities, people who study the field, who work with individuals with disabilities, family/friends, or those who are willing to be informed), the opinions of the mass public are a big priority (in my opinion at least, and this is why I plan to spend most of my adult years being heavily involved in advocacy). If you ask me, I think that there are a lot of changes that can be made. And most of these changes focus on targeting mass media.

-We need to have individuals with disabilities in the roles of persons with disabilities in the media. This does not mean that celebrities or other famous figures cannot use their power to spread positive messages about disability-they should! However, it would be nice to see someone with Autism, or someone who was an Autistic Savant, playing the main character on this show. Not that I don`t want to see more of Freddie Highmore`s adorable face on television in general, but I don`t believe he is Autistic.

-Why? Well, representation matters. IT DOES. I look at the kids at my internship, and I want them to see other children who have Autism on television or movies so they don`t think poorly of themselves, or differently (in a negative way) of themselves. I remember one day they were talking about what they wanted to be when they grow up-a policeman, a GameStop manager, a nurse. And there are people with Autism who have college degrees, stable jobs that they adore, or who are trying to break into the mass media! These are the kids of people that need to be seen by these young dreamers who are looking for people to look up to! 

-We need to change our perspectives on disability (or rather, the public`s perspectives).We need to end this us vs. them mentality, where persons with disabilities are considered enigmatic, incomprehensible, mysterious beings that are to be sensationalized or, even worse, feared (I don’t even want to go into how many people I’ve talked to who still treat the Newtown gunman as a representative of all persons with Autism). And we can remedy this by inviting people with disabilities to share their perspectives, hold leadership roles in advocacy groups, or play characters with disabilities. What people don`t know, they don`t understand, and when they don`t understand something, they automatically take the reins and assert their opinions as logic. This is how representations of persons with disabilities have warped the public’s opinions: because Neurotypicals who were not well-informed took it upon themselves to tell somebody else’s story their way. 

These changes are not going to happen overnight. I for one am heavily invested in changing opinions, and I do where I can-I educate people on here, I educate my friends and family, or the public, when they ask. These are just little lessons that go a long way. I’ll never forget how, as a young girl, I told another girl to stop saying the word “retarded.” My friends asked me “wait, why?” and I told them why it was derogatory. My friends then began to chime in: “yeah, you shouldn’t say that. Do you know what that word means? Do you know how mean that is to say?” Later, I saw that same girl asking her mom what the word meant, and what individuals it referred to, and why it should not be a term used. A positive spread of ideas!

To close, I want to remind y’all that there are also some people who are well-intentioned, but ill-informed. They want to positively change people’s perspectives, but they don’t do it the way they should. Whether that applies to Freddie and the producers/creators of this show, I can’t say with certainty. Perhaps this show might do justice. Perhaps it might change opinions in a positive fashion. Or it might perpetuate this same us vs. them mentality. Who knows for sure? We`ll definitely have to wait and see.

[view-from-a-warm-place]

025 // Distractions III: External Random Item Drop Generator

So you may be wondering what happened to last week's post, and the answer is that I never wrote it because I was too busy trying to finish this side project I have been working on. And I finished it!

I think I might have offered to explain it a while ago, so I will do that now, since I have very little new art to offer at the moment (it is probably not why you are here but please bear with me).

This one is a bit long and is all about code..

For the last few weeks, I have been working on an external random item dropper for a couple of friends who want to start their own thing, and doing that required me to either construct an entire user interface arrangement in Pygame (which I have done twice already and have my own modules for but am not really super-de-duper into) or to learn at least enough Tkinter to make something I am not totally ashamed of (which is a lot of learning because I know-- which is to say, knew-- almost exactly nothing about Tkinter, not counting some stuff with Listboxes.

I opted for the latter and, in truth, it was pretty easy to learn. It was a bit frustrating at times because there are problems with Tkinter's 'widgets' (graphic interface objects) that can occur and lock up the software in a way that Tkinter considers normal and not an error and why would it tell you about it? For instance, if you try to use a "grid" arrangement in the same Frame (an object Tkinter uses to create layers of widget organization) as a "pack" arrangement, it will "Tkinter will happily spend the rest of your lifetime trying to negotiate a solution that both managers are happy with," or how replacing Variable objects with new ones that have the same name sometimes causes the whole affair to silently stop working and leave you clicking a button to no effect, wondering what is going on and why.

Problems which I overcame! Quickly and with some difficulty! Most of my time was spent on the interface, actually, since it was the part I knew the least about. The design was pretty easy (or it was easy in the extent that I produced an interface experience that I, personally, found satisfying, and which failed to produce a/any complaint(s) from the people for whom I made it) but the actual construction took a lot of learning when it came to displaying and updating the right variables in the right places and when. There are many values shared between user input boxes (Tk.Entry), where the user enters various bits of data, lists (Tk.Listbox), which have selectable entries and a lot of straight-forward appearance parameters, labels (Tk.Label), which display values either as static text or from various types of Variable, and, of course, the item data sheet that the user provides (read using ConfigParser from an simple external text document I can tell you how to make, and internally, as a chaotic dictionary of lists and Variables and strings and numbers). Incidentally, I ended up extending (adding my own functions and attributes to) a few of Tkinter's basic classes, and this part of the project was actually one of the most interesting. A great many parts of the original module have been deliberately constructed in a way that simplifies that kind of extension, and while I had to go outside of that on an occasion or two, it was absolutely a worthwhile lesson!

The Variables were the most perplexing part, because Tkinter is the least forthright about them and because they are more flexible than they let on. These variables can be equipped with callback functions that allow them to alter their contents, or the contents of other widgets, or do some other crazy third thing, whenever they are altered, or even just whenever something looks at their values. That part was easy and extremely useful once I got the hang of it! They can also be given specific names by which other functions and widgets may identify them, and while I found this quite useful as well, its lack of stability was somewhat less endearing since Tkinter will not tolerate two variables with the same name (a legitimate and preventable issue!) and will not necessarily tell you when this has happened or where (I am less okay with this).

Another interesting thing about Tkinter is that it offers multiple obvious ways of accomplishing the same thing, which is a bit of a problem for "The Zen of Python," a sort of mantra that a lot of people in the community take quite seriously. As an example, you may almost always alter the configuration of a widget in at least two ways: - Use Widget.config(some_attr = value) and change one or several attributes at once using arguments, or - Setting them using attribute names as keys, like so: Widget['some_attr'] = value. - There are other ways too but none spring to mind.

Also, widgets can be stored in attributes, but you can also call them up using their names: a widget created in the line

myObject.my_widj = Label(master=tk_root, text='Yo, babe(l), I am a Label!', name='lbl_annoyinglabel')

..can be accessed directly either by way of some object attribute reference:

myObject.my_widj.config(text = "Hey, id'jit, I'm a widget!")

..which is absolutely normal in Python, or by calling it by name from its master object:

tk_root.nametowidget('lbl_annoyinglabel')['text'] = 'Please stop talking.'.

Naturally, you would probably want to use the first method as often as possible, because it involves fewer operations and would probably be easier to maintain. But the second way, more elaborate though it may be, lets you save on assigning attributes by tracking widgets using Tcl's internal structure. (n.b.: I cannot say I have ever found myself running out of room for attributes in a namespace but I am also a complete amateur as a programmer so please bear with me. <3 )

Interestingly, actual structure of the input sheets was the next-most time-consuming part. Trying to find a data format that would be easily comprehensible by anyone who picked it up (probably only going to be two people, plus myself, if even that many) and which also met with ConfigParser's profoundly elusive approval was a somewhat complex task. It turned out to be exactly as hard as I thought it would be, at least, and there were no surprises here. You can see a blank template of the input sheet here!

The actual drop generator code-- the element which takes the user-supplied data and returns a random selection of items from it, according to their initial and supplemental parameters; the single element that the entire program is built to support-- only took an hour to complete, actually. I did it last and by then, all of the parameters and variables and their names and locations had become obvious, and since it was a pretty plain function to start with, it was done quickly. It was interesting to note how much more effort it was to pack this simple function up into a pretty interface than it took to build the core element itself. I suppose we see this everywhere: a car is just self-propelled chairs; a human is just a gangly, leaky chariot for a suite of genitalia; this software is just 'arbitrary decisions' packed in a pretty box. A very pretty box that I will no doubt look back on in two years and wonder what I was thinking, I hope!~ <3

Anyway I completed it and delivered it and it is my first free-standing piece of software that some other person might actually use for their purposes, and that is a sense of accomplishment I have not felt since the WSDOT departmental library people told me they wanted to include my undergraduate thesis in their stacks.

As an aside, I had considered making a companion tool to go with the drop generator that simplified drop sheet creation. It would not be over-hard to make: all it is liable to be is another Listbox with a text entry field attached, a button or two to add and remove entries, a few other configurables, and a ConfigParser set up to save it all out, but I feel as though the drop sheet format-- sensitive as it is to typographical problems and formatting issues-- is probably easy enough to use. Also there are two people using it and I am in touch with one of them almost every day. Still, food for future thought!

Anyway, back to my game, now! It has been a long time and I am ready to face it again with fresh eyes and fewer .. days.. to live.. I guess! Hm..

See you next time! :y