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avenger-hawk · 2 years ago

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(genocide anon again) "the Uchiha genocide is a war crime that must be punished. Sasuke and the others needs therapy. We must help them and give them justice, not by writing fix-it fics but by calling out all those who are ok with this systemic injustice and exploitation of underage characters" that's stupid wtf? Because like... these are Shinobi? The existence of Shinobi like that in a real-world scenario would be unethical. But like beyond that, it's like... So Shinobi literally exist to carry out the "dirty" work of fire country and it's daimyo. And ANBU carry the dirtiest of dirty work. Assassination and Clan Elimination orders are par for course I'd assume, what makes the Uchiha Massacre "special" is that it's a) a pretty large clan, b) one of the main clans c) one of the founding clans of Konoha. (And what makes it a "genocide" is that it meets the UN definition of one but I don't think Narutoverse has a UN or the Armenian genocide, Simele Massacre and Holocaust which led to the coning of the word genocide.)

And like, what makes it "special" and more or less "horrifying" to the people in Naruto was that again, it was against one of the main & founding clans of Konoha. Which means that if this wasn't just "itachi snapping and testing his strength" as was said publicly, that meant that the same could happen to the Hyuuga, to the Inuzuka, to the Nara , to the Ino etc. How much of a bloodline limit, skilset or influence was "too much power" to warrant the elimination of a major clan? That could threaten or even collapse the entire clan system of Konoha. Heck if the hokage (and not Danzo bcs if that happened he'd definitely be killed, either by order of the hokage so he wouldn't have to deal with all the other clans or by assassination by one of the clans) went and 'publicly' (very flexible definition of publicly) ordered the extermination of the Uchiha, he'd probably face an insurrection led by every major clan because that'd be considered an active threat to all of these clans.

The outrage wouldn't be over the fact that it was a clan elimination order, they're shinobi and that's ANBU they've probably carried out similar orders at the request of the daimyo. What would cause the outrage is that it's a major clan and a bit over that it was a clan of konoha. But even then, if the Daimyo ordered the death of a small clan in Konoha and the task was given to one of the ANBU to carry it out, they'd be unhappy about it sure, but they'd understand.

Another sticking point would be that the order was given to someone of the clan to carry it out. This wouldn't normally happen, because that's just inviting treason. If you wanted to inspire disloyalty in your shinobi, that's what you'd do. I'm assuming that the Uchiha were a special case in that they were too powerful as clan to have a non-uchiha carry out the massacre — in that non-uchiha shinobi would've failed and been killed.

But like, yeah, they're shinobi. Assassination and elimination orders aren't all that new to them, that's what they do. That's the job. It's that it's one of Konoha's major clans that makes this event "special".

And like sure, I like to think of Sasuke and even Naruto (the destruction of Uzushio) as survivors/remants of genocide. But that's more on the... loss, loss of people sure but also loss of heritage and those who could teach you it. The disconnect with the 'culture'. The dying traditions... etc.

I like to explore these things.

But harassing people over a massacre in The Ninja Anime is... stupid.

(genocide anon, if that wasn't clear)

*****

Yeah I don’t like to engage in discussions that compare the Naruto universe with the real world and even if you apparently say you don’t either it’s exactly what’s happening here?

Ofc like I said it’s stupid to use real world arguments for a universe where war is normal, children go to shinobi academy and fight in said wars, it’s ok to put an orphan in an apartment to fend for himself and it sure ain’t no therapy or UN (which, since you mentioned, didn’t even recognize all real world genocides, like Ukraine’s Holodomor) and no one cares about what defines a genocide.

I don’t understand why ppl can’t accept the Naruto universe as it is...countries are ruled by Daimyos, that rely on shinobi for protection, espionage, war and whatever else. So ofc shinobi do the dirty work, there are also samurai but they’re less relevant than shinobi, because their universe is more reliant on sneaky manoeuvres, forbidden techniques and so on.

The Uchiha clan was incredibly powerful and probably always feared and thus at some moment the discrimination started, they decided to rebel against this and in this context Danzo used Konoha’s fear and intolerance towards them to convince the other elders and Hiruzen that the only solution was to destroy the whole clan, using Itachi. Maybe because only an Uchiha could kill others, maybe because he didn’t want other Konoha shinobi to get their hands dirty with such a horrible command.

Ofc it’s horrible to lose one’s clan, traditions and identity and Sasuke held tight to what he remembered of them. Naruto didn’t have anything to remember so he suffered for different reasons, like being lonely. Sasuke remembered so he suffered the loss of everything he knew, had and loved.

(It’s very clear who you are...I guess what’s less clear is that I don’t believe anons saying they’re genocide survivors. If in the beginning I told myself to just leave hints of my distrust. Then I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt but the way ‘genocide anon’ became your identity looks like you kinda found the perfect label to be a tumblr special snowflake. Not my problem, but I don’t want to interact with liars. I prefer “simple” nobodys)

#vivalarevolution #also idk. maybe my english is bad and ppl don't understand me?#sorry if I sound harsh but I am triggered by liars right now and I don't want any around #y'all can be triggered by the sight of whatever? I am triggered by fake #also. there are ways to tell a lie in a more convincing way. I know cause I was lied to a lot. this is not convincing #ofc in your own blog you can do whatever you want and invent all the things you prefer...it's just that...with me...it doesnt work

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sukirichi · 4 years ago

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hi suki! wanted to tell you this bc i have no one else to talk about it with ><

( you can answer this when the English chapter releases! i was able to read it because my friend bought the WSJ issue)

I was trying to udnerstand Naoy's character, so I was reding everything from CH138-151 again. I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.

(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)

I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked", except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.

So, when Maki reached the level of Toji, I think his reaction wasn't simply stemmed on his "fanboy" antics, but his desperation of being part of that level of strength. I think he's more irritated in the fact that Maki, someone who he does not see anywhere near as strong as he is (though he does say Maki is strong in chapter 138), reached a level of strength that he hasn't; that he is trying hard to achieve. It's also the same with having your favorite superhero getting defeated. And Naoya's in denial that there is someone else who could be the same as Toji.

I like how he's an antagonist that was not build under the foundation of a sob backstory (though it was a v small sneak peak of his background and was mainly centered with his admiration for toji, plus I think people forget that Naoya is an antagonist), how he acknowledges that he has not reached that level of strength. Of course, I'm angsty about his misogynistic ideals. I get that he's from a very traditionalist clan so... yeah. I mean, no child is born evil. Children learn from those around them (I've seen many people say he's trash since he was a kid when he said that "i wonder what miserable face he has", but like he's a kid, he doesn't know what he's saying AHSJFJWJQ8QR he was either taught that or he just learned it from others. Funnily enough, he does say toji has a pretty face now LMAO). Maybe it stems from something else, maybe it didn't.

I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society is a place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.

Anyway, that's all for now. My English is bad so that might be all over the place •`,`• That's just my take on it so I could be wrong or maybe seeing him wrong since we still don't know much abt him. I'm always scared to talk about naoya because the last time i did (on twt) i got a backlash of hate (ppl really do get hate just from admiring someone's characterization). Your blog is like a safe haven for naoya stans, so i thank you for that hehe.

Have a nice day suki!! kisses~

(also this is a PSPSPSPS to a naoya childhood friends au fic pls 👁👁)

bestie omg I am so sorry, I found this deep in my inbox and I am *shakes* and yes yes let’s talk about naoya, I would be more than glad to and I’m sorry I didn’t see this any sooner!! more rants and simping under the cut

I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.

omg for this…I’m actually like…like I love the detail that naoya admires toji? as we can see from the panel of little naoya, it’s like people have already planted in his head that no cursed energy = loser, yet he ended up admiring him and I am,,,my heart is just soft! exactly! just think of naoya born as a genius sorcerer yet his admiration for toji, who is painted as the clan’s failure, helped shape him into who he is! idk but I just really love the fact that naoya, who is like born with the pressure and role of being clan leader, somewhat strays from tradition and ends up finding strength into toji and even strives to follow him or “stand by him” someday. for me, it just shows that perhaps naoya isn’t really half as bad as he should be in an honest sense, meaning that he’s evil or morally corrupt because he was born that way or because he chose to be that way. I do agree that perhaps he is the way he is now because he’s groomed to be like that, but of course, I’m not going to disregard the fact that somewhere along the way, Naoya could’ve matured to choose himself to not embody the misogynistic tradition of the zen’in clan.

This could just be me, but my interpretation of it is that Naoya seems more like the perfect product or embodiment of how the clan shaped him to be, blinded him with false morals and the patriarchy presiding into them. Rather than Naoya being just “a misogynistic arrogant man” in my perspective and my opinion, I see him more into the bigger picture of his toxic upbringing to begin with. Like, no child is born evil unless there’s like a predetermined curse deciding their fate for them, so its partly the Zen’in clan’s fault he’s that way. But Gege showing that Naoya admiring someone the Zen’in clan disregarded, it shows that he is capable of being himself without the clause of his clan enforcing things to him once again, like the whole “he’s gonna be the future clan leader” thing, though that is still heavily embedded within him.

(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)

OMGGGG PLEASE THAT’S SO CUTE, HE LOOKED SO INNOCENT AND ADORABLE BUT EVEN AS A CHILD HE WAS ALREADY CALLING PEOPLE A LOSER LIKE EYE

I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked",except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.

Anon, is it just me or like…was his superiority complex also enforced on him by the Zen’in clan as well? Again this could just be me going all psychologist mode on Naoya but the nature of superiority complex is quite interesting, you know! As a psych student, I perfectly understand that superiority complex either stems from several things like a) wanting to live up to one’s or others expectations, b) masking it with a deep stem of insecurity, or c) it’s a coping mechanism. See, I could go on and on about but then I’d have to link all my past studies lmao so let’s just put it on layman’s terms that my interpretation of Naoya’s superiority complex is once again, influenced by the clan. Imagine being a kid born into a clan where people remind you again and again that you’re the future leader, that you would be the one to guide them or protect them or discuss the clan’s future and status once you grow, and you’re quite groomed for it.

For such pressure to be put on a child’s shoulders, it kind of strips off his youth and instead of him enjoying his youth, I can imagine that it took a toll on little Naoya, and the reason he grew his superiority complex is his way to cope and reach the standards and expectations that is given to him. Of course, he’s a kid, he might start to wonder, “Can I even do all of that?” but seeing as the Zen’in clan highly measures strength and growth based on abilities, cursed energy, and overall just to conform into the image they’ve held for years, it’s quite obvious that Naoya can’t exactly voice out his worries over this, so instead, he masks it with a superiority complex that absolutely boosts him to a higher level, thus giving him the confidence he needed to carry out his tasks and the reassurance that, “Yes, I am worthy and I will be the clan leader.” As for your theory that he takes it as a challenge, I can see where you’re coming from! I think Naoya is the type of person who definitely likes to challenge himself, but one of the reasons I love his character so much is because he’s not completely a brainless “head on straight to war” type of person too.

He knows his limits and knows which side he should be in, as showed when Yuuta came and mans surrendered easily. Idk why but to me, Naoya, who is such an arrogant confident man who has high trust in abilities, but at the same time can admit when someone is stronger than him (like him admiring Toji and Gojo) just makes him more human and a little more beautifully flawed. Like, he’s not perfect and he’s most definitely an irritating character, but the way he was written is just *chef’s kiss*

Yes, ah I really do love this theory that he’s more irritated because in his mind, he’s like, “I’m a genius sorcerer! I was meant to be clan leader! This is my rightful spot to be a strong one, so how come Maki, who is a woman, with no zero cursed energy has reached the level of the person I looked up most to?” again, Naoya didn’t say that and those are just my opinions and brainrot so don’t come at me for it uwu, but yeah I do think that he’s very aggravated that he didn’t react that level first. Because I guess you could say, he’s probably alluding that Maki reaching Toji’s strength = them being equals, and ofc Naoya wanted to be the one standing beside them. It probably hit his superiority complex that he wasn’t the one in Maki’s spot especially when he tried so hard to achieve it, and considering the gifts he was given (same cursed technique as his dad and him having cursed energy) it threw him off.

Yeah, Naoya is most likely in denial and becomes aggressive over it, although I don’t really mean physically aggressive because Naoya is actually quite calm and ‘composed.’ If ever he did go on a rampage, he does it in such a suave, calculated manner with this silent confidence that he will win. It kind of makes you root for him because he even fools the audience (by audience I mean ME) that he’s going to OWN that fight but whoop, he got his ass kicked. Plus ten points for confidence and a bonus thousand points for being sexy though!!! Yeah, omg he’s probably in disbelief that a woman of all people could be like the person he admired most.

OMG YESSSS ANON YES YES YES *slams down simping button angrily* That’s what I like about him too! Even though Naoya is cocky and wayyyy too arrogant for his own good, I also like that he acknowledges he’s not quite in a level he wants to be in yet. And hah, his backstory, it wasn’t totally sob because it’s obvious he was much too doted on, but I still hate how they made him like that. True, if he’s still carrying the same misogynistic ideals as he is now in an age where he has the mental capacity to improve and be different, then the belief has become more of a choice than something engraved into him, which I am really disappointed and not really into because of course, he’d be much better if he wasn’t like that in the first place. LOLOLOLOL yes yes he’s a kid, it sure as hell doesn’t excuse the way he is now but like just think !!

if a kid was spouting out such mean words and CLEARLY no one is correcting him, who really is the problem here? A child has a harder time deciphering what is right and wrong by himself without proper guidance. And he didn’t have proper guidance, they really just let him be like that and it’s because the clan!! sucks !! ass !! YEAH he probably called toji with a miserable face because he hasn’t seen him before but after seeing the iconic dilf, Naoya gone be like, “anyways, I lied, moving on—”

I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society isa place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.

yeah no of course, no worries! even as a hardcore naoya stan, I can admit this dude is TERRIBLE for so many reasons! yeah I mean that could be pretty irritating because he was born for it, raised to be clan leader, groomed and expected he’d have that role, but nah someone else took his throne. yeah I’m with you on that, naoya has a shitty personality and I would totally smack him if he was real because he makes my eyes roll to the back of my head, but knowing his background and theorizing (read: me going all psychologist mode because he’s the only character I ever cared about to apply my studies into) his character is quite fun. I wish we had more scenes with Naoya though, I really hoped he’d play a bigger role but he just…died, I guess, though I’m starting to believe that maybe he really isn’t dead! Gege did him dirty omg I’ll cry again if it’s really GENUINELY confirmed my baby is gone.

ah no worries about your English, I didn’t really notice anything wrong with it tbh! And I understand, these are all just our opinions/theories/perspectives, we could be wrong or not, we don’t really know because we’re not Gege (⋟﹏⋞) NOOOO PEOPLE HATED YOU ON THAT? ISTG I’VE NEVER SEEN A FANDOM CANCEL SOMEONE AS MUCH AS JJK FANDOM CANCELS NAOYA AND NAOYA STANS LIKE – he’s just a fictional character omg, cancelling naoya is understandable because I would too but attacking his fans? or generally anyone who talks about him in a neutral or not in a way that goes, “yeah I would punch this mfer” is just?? doesn’t make sense to me bestie, people really choose to do that with their time yikes.

AND AWWW THANK YOU YES I PROTECT ALL MY FELLOW NAOYA STANS HERE, I respect who people simp for because if it’s what you enjoy and as long as you’re not hurting anybody, then it really doesn’t matter and it’s not a big deal! and you’re always welcome here uwu. have an even nicer day bestie and I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner AAAA I really loved talking about this tho HEHEHEH I’m not actually too much of a JJK theorist since I’m not smart enough to pay attention or infer from all the details but NAOYA HMMMMM also childhood friends fic? hmu let’s hear it!! also ahh hmm idk but i get really happy whenever people talk to me freely about naoya bcos even tho i have been a naoya simp for like three months, it was not until recently that people came to me about him and i have just been simping alone (bcos people MADDDD) spsppsps okay rant over thank you anon i love you kith kith <3

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #jjk: manga spoilers #tw: misogyny

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scoups4lyfe · 3 years ago

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Hello I am translation anon(which is kinda of funny since i didn't translated anything but thanks for the nickname) and I had a small theory(i think you can call that?) where Tamaki(or maybe Aguillera in future episodes) started working at the bathhouse and end up enjoying working there. So in the end of the series Tamaki or Aguillera were to take care of the bathhouse(not necessarily inheriting just taking care for the igarashi parents) while Ikki would be able to take care of himself and follow his dream of playing soccer. (sorry for the bad grammar and the confusing post you don't need to answer and my english is pretty bad).

YOOO???

AYEEE????

Aguilera and Tamaki bath house babysitters so Ikki can live his life..... aiiiiiaiiaiaiaiii

I'd loooove that bro,, but also my, G

Ikki has such a long way to go before he'd be able to accept that :'))

My guy really tied all of his self-worth to how well he can take care of his family ,,,,,:'0

So if they took over and everyone was like 'Okay, bYEEE' I think he'd have a mental breakdown. (At least where he's at currently) I know I put this in my analysis posts starting HERE ; but since Ikki's a 'parentified child' he's learned to suppress his own identity in order to be the main pillar of support for his family, all the while thinking

"maybe if I silence myself, maybe if I put myself last, they'll notice all of me and love me as I am"

but that never happened (hoochow) and since Ikki's role in the family (Filling in for the absentee-father spot; yeah the dad isn't 'absent' but no one really puts him in the 'father position'....lol)

So Ikki as of rn would have a high likelihood (if he wasn't needed at the bathhouse anymore lol) to see this as abandonment -- and I would not doubt in my mind that the next place he'd search for companionship, comfort, 'home' would probably be a toxic relationship where he's back in his caregiving role :')))

and WHATTT???? bruhhh your english is fine, yo

ngl wouldn't have even known you weren't a native speaker until I read your last sentence about it being a confusing post hahahaha. I didn't see anything weird or wrong grammar wise? But also its like 4am and I'm like -7 braincells rn so idk english all blurs together after a certain point

(forgive any spelling errors or sentences that don't make a LICK of sense. my sleep-drived mind literally doesn't see sh#t and I don't proofread lmaOOO)

BUT ALSOOOOOO---

Dawg, english fluency (imo) is a myth. Americans (idk about the other English speaking homies lol) can literally say whatever they want no matter how grammatically incorrect or nonsensical--

but if its said with the confidence of a King, ppl are just like 'yeah, that tracks'

I kno cause I type nonsense every day. I also speak nonsense. And honestly its a miracle anyone understands me lmaooo. Kinda like how with French (not that I'm fluent in French in anything <33)

I forgot how to say "what" (lmao pourquoi) in french, so instead when my friend asked me something I responded with

"Quand"

But I said it dead-serious, and we laughed for like 15 minutes about it right after LOL

Anyways Translation-anon, unless its hieroglyphs I'll read and respond to the posts :33.

I worked at an ESL center for a bit during college, so you wouldn't bELIEVE how manY fcvKING engLIsH paPErS I had to help edit

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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golbrocklovely · 3 years ago

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Xiomara is a cool name! I think I'd probably choose something like Astrid or Roslyn (I have a character in a story I'm writing named Roslyn) (:

I as well can only speak English but I really want to try and learn either French or Italian

No I can't play any instruments unfortunately, I tried learning the violin in elementary school but quit because the strings hurt my fingers lmaoo if I ever do pick up an instrument I'd probably want to learn how to play piano or guitar. My heart wants to try drumming but I know I'll never develop the coordination it takes for that lol

Favorite show growing up as a kid was probably Wizards of Waverly Place or Zach and Cody. And I am woman enough to admit I watched Playhouse Disney for probably way too long lol (like I'm talking into middle school🤣) I loved SpongeBob too and courage the cowardly dog

I want to be a Target girl soooooo bad but they're so expensive. So I'm gonna have to say Walmart but I can't stand going to the Walmart in my immediate area because they're always packed and a mess, everyone is always miserable and plus the one closest to me was my first job actually (going there triggers my nervous tick lmfao) but people really be sleeping on Walmart dot com lol you can find mad cute clothes there. In conclusion lol I will one day be a Target girl lol

Ketchup or mustard? What's your opinion on salt and vinegar chips? What kind of car do you drive?

sorry about the super late response. fell asleep last night, had work this morning and then when i came home i went to sleep again. at least i'm finally awake now haha :)

roslyn and astrid are pretty names ! i like roslyn the most.

i would love to learn italian too. i think my problem is that growing up when i was in school, i didn't want to learn a language bc i was afraid of speaking it wrong in front of ppl that could speak it right. also i hated getting graded on whether or not i could understand the language. but now since i'm not in school anymore, maybe learning a language won't be too bad.

i never learned how to play an instrument until i got into my 20s. i self taught myself the ukuele, and i'm not the best but i'm pretty okay at it lol and i always wanted to learn the drums too, but there's just no place to really learn that and drumkits are so fucking expensive. i also wanted to learn to play the harp, but like idk where to even learn that either.

playhouse disney was my shit when i was younger. pb and j otter, rollie-pollie ollie, omg i used to love those shows ! when i got a bit older, i would say one of my favorite shows was probs suite life, hannah montana, or jonas/jonas la. but that's only bc i loved the jonas brothers lmao

yeah target is expensive, but they do have some cute stuff that isn't too bad. and the walmart in my area is fucking crazy too. i legit want to buy stuff from there but... not with all those ppl in it omg. the target near my house isn't too bad for groceries and whatnot, and i don't mind buying some stuff from there bc i know it will actually last decently long. i have a pair of jeans from there from like 3 years ago that are still going strong, which is a first since most jeans rip or get a hole in them.

interestingly enough, ketchup and mustard both kinda gross me out on their own, unless they are with specific stuff. ketchup is good with really terrible fries, and (spicy) mustard is good on hot dogs. and then both are good on burgers. regular mustard... that's gross to me and i'm not sure why.

i don't like salt and vinegar chips. i think the last time i tried them was when i was in elementary school, and they were so bitter to me. vinegar kinda makes me feel ill when i smell it, idk why. but maybe now since my smelling and tasting senses are all fucked up, maybe i should try them again.

i don't know how to drive actually, but i do plan to learn at some point in the near-ish future. my problem honestly is that i just have kinda bad anxiety and to top it off, i don't have enough money to afford a car or insurance so... yeah. but if i could drive, i would want a jeep. that's the dream car. the car my mom has is really nice, so i would drive that if i knew how to.

questions: do you wear makeup and if so what brands do you use/like? and if not what are some makeup products you wish you have (if you even like makeup haha), how would you describe your style, what's a nice dream you had recently that you remember?

#ask #personal

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bisexualhobi · 4 years ago

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Hi, I've been following you for a while now and I love your critical thinking, it's honestly so refreshing and I completely understand and respect where you are coming from.

I just wanted to pop in as a baby army who only discovered BTS last September and I guess kind of defend recent songs? (I feel like that's a poor word choice but I can't think of another way of saying it) I could give a whole sob story about what BTS has done for me since I found them; basically my job sucks, home life isn't bad but isn't the best, can't blow off steam with friends like I used to, so I turn to BTS for comfort I guess.

After a day of having abuse thrown at me at work for my entire shift I go home and I listen to or watch BTS and it makes my day instantly better. I smile, I laugh and I can forget about my shitty day.

I know it may seem like these new songs are mainly pandering to an English speaking market, but at the end of the day it's music and it's meaningful to people like me who just need the comfort of something new to listen to. Whether it's Korean, Japanese or English I lap it up, and that may seem a bit brainless but honestly that's what I need right now.

Maybe when I have been here longer I will become more critical but as of right now I just need this to make a really tough time easier. Basically I'm just trying to say that there are people like me out here who BTS really are helping even though it may seem like they are just doing what they can to get awards or recognition.

Please don't feel like I'm attacking you or anything, I swear I'm not, I just want to share my thoughts and maybe give another point of view.

hey! don't worry I don't take offense at this or anything and I find your input valid

it's funny that you say this because I am literally the same as you. literally. lmfao I discovered bts in september 2020 and I was unemployed and depressed. like. the first video I saw was dynamite. your situation is literally describing my own. however I still turn to them for comfort but like. I'm not gonna just ignore everything shitty they do because it's my "safe place". like I've been here for 9 months and I've already opened my eyes to all the bullshit hybe spoon feeds us....... idk maybe that's my cynical vein and the fact that I'm a poli sci major where the first rule to survive is question everything

also I won't try to discredit what their bubblegum american songs mean for you ofc! but I'm not going to pretend they are good songs. they're poorly produced and the autotune is wack and they're written by white ppl who know nothing about bts �� I'm sorry. I know you mean well with this ask but this ain't changing the fact that those songs and also be sucked musically speaking

however it's still important to note that their happy persona has helped countless of people in this pandemic. and I won't try to deny that. I'm glad they have helped you through this rough patch and I hope you find a better job that treats you well!

#asks #dramatw #critical #hope you don't take offense at this! you're allowed to keep using them as your coping mechanism!#and I'm glad they bring you joy in these times #but that's not me lmao I'm sorry my brain is wired this way

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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i think what bugs me the most about people being lazy and not wanting to read or pushing a narrative of something you didn't say or do onto you, then saying something about the method of delivery, and then getting their hackles raised at anything that pushes back (i do this too. like many times i overreact because i didnt read something right, or i don't think that maybe i don't need to be heard, or i take on a more combative tone even if someone agrees. so i need to de-escalate for myself as well and be aware....) esp on the basis of length and some grammar and syntax issues—not necessarily the content itself—is that i like....edit for a living.

i have a dumb BA and i have my MFA. i copy-edit on the side as a side-job and i am good at it. i am a literal video editor, a script editor, a scriptwriter, and artist. so like not only did i "train" in that, i have experience, and like.... im good at it. but that's my WORK like that's LITERALLY MY CAREER so when im on the internet i'm not trying to write a fucking thesis that's so intense and edited. i do that for my career and it's effort. this is me time, leisure time, im not being judged or graded and i don't need to put my whole back into something that is largely inconsequential. i'm typing from the top of the fucking dome and that's it man like there's a diff between a thing that takes me 5m to write and something i have to edit a trillion times on top of my learning disabilities and adhd. which isnt a fucking death sentence. adhd helps me be more creative, my LDs are what lead me to art, i'm intelligent and talented even if i hate myself and it's painful. idk how many times i can say this you know. someone said to me once "you're obviously not a native eng speaker" and fucking obviously i am but that wasnt the issue it was saying i can't construct sentences or whatever when im literally just stream of consciousness and it is just so invalidating. i dont like saying it but it's literally people calling you stupid for something you're not trying to heavily regulate because you ARE ALWAYS SELF-REGULATING.

honestly i get shocked at my typos or ways i word things if i re-read them but in my brain it just comes out that way. it doesnt always make sense either idk i try and say it. but i dont want to call it ableist it's just weird. fucking weird and it feels soooooo fucking bad bc i already know lmao im sorry man sometimes commas look like periods and i think im typing in the right tense or the right word but im not idk what to tell ya. u can edit it for me if u want

yesterday i couldnt focus at all like i was watching history (surprise) and had to keep rewinding because my brain started to trail off and i would stare at this box. or ill be thinking about something else the whole time. then i get anxious and try and concentrate and i cant. it's a lot of adrenaline buddy and our brains are like rubber or whatever ok im built different ;-;

other things adhd makes fun:

- when you receive your THC and it takes you hours to use it because your brain is trailing off. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE TO WAIT FOR UR BRAIN TO STOP PROCRASTINATING TO HAVE FUN? dumbest thing ever esp since ppl w impulse issues <3 drugs cos we r sad every1 thinks we r STUPID

- when u literally just stare at the same page for like 10m. when it takes u all fucking day to watch 5 minutes of a stupid BL bc ur brain is like THIS THEN THIS THEN THIS THEN THIS AND WHAT IS THAT? THEN THIS THEN THIS THEN THIS esp for me as a FILMMAKEURRRR AN ARTISTE A PRETENTIOUS BITCH i cant turn it the fuck off

- WITHOUT INSURANCE MY MEDS ARE 400 DOLLARS SO IF YOU GIVE ME THAT MONEY, I WILL LISTEN TO YOU

this is something i've talked abotu a lot and ppl who know me know that i really struggle with this. maybe that's why i turned to art i dont know but i think there is a gap between people who are willing to read and people who just aren't and then dont bother. but i feel like you should sort of take the time to maybe understand a person may have diff communication styles. like i can understand people or try my best if they dont have a great grasp on english. we know what the fuck communication is. there's this one troll i know of who literally just types nonsense because he doesn't know what he's talking about, he's a dick, and he's not a native eng speaker. that's a time where i'm like i literally cannot with this person because i dont think he even tries lmao. i just ignore him bc he says dumb shit now so maybe if someone thinks that of me they should just move it righgt along ithink im just going to start being a dick and calling eveyrone ableist and start acting like the ~*~*~*snowflake~**~~*~* they dont like bc bitch if im sad we all sad now

i also find it IRONIC when non black ppl comment on a flow or whatever since u all love to use our words wrong bitch back off if u cant say nigga i take 0 writing advice from u

all this is to say i know it's not cos of my adhd and learning disorders since i can do my jobs efficiently. i think that......people are just upset when u critique something that has nothing to do with them as a person but they tied their identity to it so now we all have to suffer im sorry that you...idk don't care about the world? who knows, what do you want? lol

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mikeshanlon · 4 years ago

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iwwv anon and PHEW OK. I def did not expect that essay and now I feel bad cause I KNOW my thots r not gonna be articulate or right. nonetheless! i think Oliver does qualify as an unreliable narrator cause hes. very oblivious but not like... Richard papen (who is a whole ass clown don't get me started on tsh) but not like addy from dare me(I will support till the day I die that dare me is da like I WILL die on this hill) who sees what she wants to see. 1/?

i think he just... thinks that his friends r diff ppl than they actually r? that doesnt rly make sense but yea. what I mean is that everything the characters do is coated in that empathetic view Oliver has which is usually wrong? so we don't get an objective look into the characters. meredith is my girl like I love the hot popular girl trope deconstruction but at the end of the book she's not at a great place like she's w someone that doesn't love her like she needs to be loved... 2/

I guess the most probable ending is that James never meets Oliver again and that everyone is kinda stuck on what happened but that's soo sad and I really don't want to think abt it. ngl iwwv wasn't like my fave book ever and I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with dark academia sometimes but what i rly liked abt the book is that despite how fucked up everyone is and how toxic they r to each other they do at heart care abt one another...3/

like I rly liked that esp cause at that point the only other da book (other than dare me!) that I had read was tsh and godd every character is so fuckinh annoying and they all hate each other. i was super confused by it till I saw someone saying that it's satire and I felt my mind explode. I feel like this is so long but I didnt rly properly answer all you wrote sorry! I think its a pretty good book tho it has some crazy quotes like hold awn Im gonna look at the highlighted stuff on my copy.. 4/

Were you in love with him?” “Yes,” [...]Yes, I was.” It’s not the whole truth. The whole truth is, I’m in love with him still. LIKEEE PHEWW OK OK OK. WE OUT HERE. that line literally made me go crazy. I'm so sorry for any spelling mistakes or like general mistakes I made here English isn't my first language, it's 1am and I wrote this in the notes app w/o looking it over. so like.. NOT a professional review lemme tell you. 5/5

Ahh im so sorry I did not see this before I yeeted for a month!!!

Oooh okay first of all dare me as a DA… I’ve only watched the show but like yeah I see the Elements for sure.

Also yeah I can understand what you mean abt Oliver being an unreliable narrator now… Ig my view of unreliable was more like they are purposefully twisting the truth or omitting facts or just literally don’t know shit but I get how personal bias can make the narrator unreliable. I do think the assertion that Oliver thinks his friends are different than they actually are makes sense. He sees James in a very positive light and though I like James a lot and think he is better than, like, Richard, he definitely has darker moments and manipulates Oliver at times (again I’d like to think it’s not the most nefarious thing in the world but like him just being shitty bc he’s in a dark place and he one, wants to do anything he can so Oliver doesn’t figure out he fought Richard so Oliver still thinks of him the same way/bc he knows Oliver would do something stupid like get himself arrested for James; and two, is very jealous that Oliver is with Meredith after Richard dies and has sort of a somewhat positive outcome from Richard’s death versus James being riddled with guilt and anger). And yeah, the probable ending is they never meet but I refuse to acknowledge that so LGNRG. Also that line makes me go CRAZZZZZZZZZZY!!! There are so many great lines, both using Shakespeare and on their own and its like okay give me a moment im going bonkers…

Personally, I haven’t read that many dark academia novels yet (bc for some reason i can barely finish a book rn sigh) but the concept interests me. I think what’s compelling is the setting/atmosphere of like ~mysterious college vibes~, and the idea of a sort of niche, obsessive bond and pursuit of knowledge with a tight knit group of friends (and the like inherent homoeroticism in every single DA elrngenrg). Like Dead Poet’s Society (the film I haven’t read the book) isn’t Dark in the same way most other dark academia is by like, obsession and death and manipulation (though of course there are dark elements with Neil’s storyline), but I think the other building blocks of academia are present there in a more wholesome way and you can see why people are drawn to that idea. As for the more Dark aspects I think it’s interesting to analyze things like group psyche, obsession, manipulation, etc, like what went wrong for everything to take such a dark turn???

But, like everything else, it really has to be done well or else its just like okay….… I’ve tried to read TSH twice and I may try again but from the 100+ ish pages I read I totally get what you mean. IWWV is so interesting to me bc the characters are all very compelling and multifaceted and I like that they are a close friendship, we come in after 4 years of them spending all the time together and to me that is apparent. Like you said, we can see fissures and problems especially as the novel continues but there is care there between them. That also makes the decision to let Richard die much more interesting and sinister imo, as well as how all of them interact with each other after he dies, and how the roles of the group change without their “leader” so to speak. Also, maybe it’s just bc I like Shakespeare, but I think the academia part of IWWV is so much more accessible compared to TSH. Like I don’t know every Shakespeare play or anything so I didn’t understand every nuance or was like immediately like oh this is from Cymbeline or whatever the fuck, but you could understand the gist of things and it made sense that they spoke in Shakespeare lines bc that’s all they’ve been doing for four years and also theatre kids are Like That. Their pretention also provided any Layers to the story, like the parallels between the characters they play and their own arcs, how some of the lines echoed their own thots, foreshadowed, or they were able to say things through Shakespeare (I’m thinking of like, Oliver realized he loved James during Romeo and Juliet, the foreshadowing that James was going to ruin Richard’s life and that he dislikes Meredith/Richard when he quotes Mercutio at the start “A plague o’ both your houses”, the exchange Oliver and James had onstage and had that kiss during King Lear before Oliver was arrested,etc.) (Also I think the structure of some of the dialogue being formatted like a play really helped make it feel more realistic and immersive). Versus TSH which is just so pedantic and dense and hard to follow at times im like I get they are smart but what??? And maybe that’s part of the satire aspect (or maybe im dumb) but like donna I read TGF I know you are pretentious and info dump abt random obscure shit anyways so erglknerg. Like to me there was a Point to all of the academic Shakespeare stuff in IWWV and it was the soul of the book, and M.L. Rio made it very interesting—like the way that the directors reimagined the plays and had Julius Caesar be like a modern political play, the cool mirror shit in King Lear, the Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet performances where they did them at events and interacted with their environments (which were one of my favorite parts of the books bc I just think that concept is so interesting), etc. For TSH the shit they did literally just felt like “okay look at them they’re smart see you can’t even keep up!” like okay… I felt lost a lot and only like snapped into reality whenever Henry (?) was like oh… murder….. and even then I was like idk what this dude is saying but like he’s being darksided LMAO. And I also agree that it’s just like… Richard being thrown in the middle of this group could lend itself to some cool ideas but its hard to believe that he fits into the friendship group and hes just like hell yeah I love Greek so much and lets go kill this guy other than like okay ur gay and stupid and just want to impress Henry or whatever his name was (which he was but I digress). It’s just not as impactful to me as this close friend group falling apart. Ik TSH fans might be angry if they see this (and of course I haven’t finished the book so my perception may be warped but I also kno many ppl felt that way u did) bc I’ve seen ppl say IWWV is just like TSH but “lackluster” or whatever and while I can see some parallels (mostly b/w Richard and Henry and Alexander and Francis), I really think M.L. Rio expanded upon common DA tropes and the interesting parts of TSH but made it her own and interesting and oh yeah there are actually multiple compelling female characters and LGBT characters (and no incest)!!!

#if we were villians #books #also literally dont apologize for any mistakes or going bonkers like i have no problem n i understood what u meant anyways LMAO #anon #ask

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ziloforsure · 4 years ago

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1. Hmm, I'm from Germany and my favourite place is definitely Hamburg or Tossens.

2. Here in Germany.

3. Yes, it does! It's called "North-" and "East-Sea". Both are actually in the north but the other one in the east. I dont really know how to say it in English.

4. I dont really know..? Like I prefer chinese/japanese foor or typical food from Austria.

5. Uh.. anything from Mark Forster. He makes Pop-Music, it's cool :)

6. Definitely "Atemlos" by Helene Fischer. I hate it. Or and any german rap.

7. I guess it's "tollpatschig" it actually just means that someone is silly, but I still think it's really cute. Also "anschmiegen" It's practically just to snuggle/cuddle but I just like it really really much! Aaaand "Händchen" Händchen is the "cute" form of hand and it describes really small hands.

8. Uhm, I actually don't? I don't care enough to get confused and I don't have anything in mind right now.

9. I would really like to visit the Netherlands again. And I really don't know anything about them.

10. Most enjoyable swear word... I really like "Labertasche" lol. Translated it would mean "Talking bag", it describes that someone talks shit a lot and is really annoying.

11. Charlotte Link. Her books are amazing! Have read some of them.

12. Never read one. I also don't have a favourite poem.

13. Let me think.. All that comes in my head is no TV when we eat together, also no phones or anything distracting. We eat together at out table at least once a day, but that's not actually weird.

14. Yes, I do. Sometimes I don't when I have to watch some dumb TV Shows with my mom, but we do have nice documentations here :)

15. The jokes about Bayern all the time! xD like we joke that no one except people in Bayern understand their dialect because it's reaaaaally hard to understand. (I live in Hessen btw.)

Jokes about the lesbian politican in a homophobic party (forgot her name tho).

And just any jokes about the way our government handles the pandemic.

16. I hate the stereotype that all Germans are Nazi's. Yes, they are Neo-Nazi's in the East and we have a racist party but the first thing I hear when I tell people that I'm German is:"THEN YOU ARE A NAZI OMG I HATE YOU"

Yea. It's annoying tho. Even tho Hitler wasn't even German, but ok.

I agree with the stereotype that we're kind of in time? Maybe it's just because of my family but most Germans are in time there and we also hate when people are late. Like I hate that the most.

17. Yes, I am. I'm really interested to learn about the history of Germany, especially because of WWII. I wanna learn more about that :)

18. Sometimes. Here in Germany we talk "different kinds of German":

Hochdeutsch- someone who speaks without any dialect (and isn't able to or doesn't want to).

And someone with dialect lmao. It depends where you live tho. The dialect in Hessen and Rheinland-Pfalz is kind of the same, just a bit different. I can speak "Hessisch" tho. Not that good like my grandparents but I am able too :)

19. I don't really care about that stuff. The colors work together I guess? And the anthem is, well, yea an anthem. They sing about Freedom, Liberality and anything that- yea •-•

I mean sure, some things are right, but- it's still weird tho. Idk

20. I think its Biathlon. My grandparents live to watch ppl ski and hit some things with their bullets. Ofc not really tho, they just need to shoot an object.

21. That one party "AfD" aaaaaand Laschet. That one party is racist, homo-/transphobic and sexist. They literally wanted put homosexuals in jail💀 and Laschet is a politican and just stupid. No one needs him.

22. What makes me proud to be German..? I don't know, really. And ashamed, well, the AfD.

23. I think it's beer. But I'm not sure. I don't really care either.

24. Oof, I think about Britains. People always call them "Inselaffen" ("Island Monkeys") to make fun of them. Idk. I just hear that really often.

25. I think Sweden would be cool :) I mean, Germany is not bad, but well-

26. Oof I don't know about that.

27. Bro I don't know akosueuwow. I don't like most of them and yea. I don't care aGAIN-

28. So uh we have the Rhein. Idk the word for that river in English. We also have some alps here, but I don't really have a favourite.

29. Uhm, I don't think so...?

30. I do. Some are from Poland or America. I dont like those countries so.. yea :/

“hi, I’m not from the US” ask set

given how Americanised this site is, it’s important to celebrate all our countries and nationalities - with all their quirks and vices and ridiculousness, and all that might seem strange to outsiders.

1. favourite place in your country?

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad?

3. does your country have access to sea?

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

5. favourite song in your native language?

6. most hated song in your native language?

7. three words from your native language that you like the most?

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best?

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language?

11. favourite native writer/poet?

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem?

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV?

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?

17. are you interested in your country’s history?

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem?

20. which sport is The Sport in your country?

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country?

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country?

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country?

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

27. favourite national celebrity?

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites?

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family?

#this is really boring ig #wanted to do it #yea #idk #this is nothing special

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hypnosiacon-archived · 2 years ago

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"why are you scared of losing ppl" -> maybe explain abandonment issues and uhmm . needing or relying on people to praise you on things for your self esteem or else you fall into very bad depressive episodes & having a very fragile self esteem. or however ur bpd+npd presents itself as LOL idk u

"what stops u from doing this" -> terrible wording but probably means "how do u cope with it". ive been asked that + asked them wdym or to rephrase. and they meant "how do you cope w it" . but also ime i just had sui ideation (i do have ocd but i never brought it up in fear of them mistaking it for a genuine desire) and (from what ive read about ocd in group therapy but not firsthand exp bc i havent gotten any help for mine lol) this... isnt how someone should treat someone w intrusive thoughts? you shouldnt ask them how they prevent themself from doing an intrusive thought (when an intrusive thoughts subject is upsetting, something they dont want, goes against their morals or desires, worst fears, etc) bc its egodystonic and u Dont Want To Do it and u dont actually want or desire it and are scared of doing it and it upsets u (thats why its an. intrusive thought.) so im thinking maybe they think u just meant sui ideation and not intrusive thoughts. so maybe u can emphasize that its thoughts u dont/cant control, u've tried, u dont actually want to commit sui but these thoughts keep happening and upset you, it goes against what u actually want or desire, etc & maybe ask if there is medication or if theyve heard of it happening to anyone else etc. if they havent heard of it happening to anyone else then um idk maybe theyre just stupid or dont understand u LOL

I mean, lol, I would not have talked about it with my doctor if that wasn't upsetting me and impacting my daily life. Also it's my translation, keep that in mind, because my native language is not English xpp

Idk maybe that was a bad wording, but also ugh, I told them that It was too bad that's why I was talking about it to them, but duh they ignored me kinda of. I don't remember exactly what they said (because I just woke up and should be asleep again), but it literally was similar to "lol don't be sad" said in face of a person with depression.

Though they told me "just don't be scared" when I was talking about my anxiety, duh and I was clear enough that I'm not just SCARED that this is fvcking impacting my life

#✖ sounds of an echo: ask #anon

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goyangii · 3 years ago

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is it okay if i ask u about your experiences with being fetishized in online and offline spaces?? i deactivated my social media over this but i feel like a lot of non-Koreans make random Korean people feel like we're the spokesperson on all Korean issues??? i've noticed this fetishization happens a lot so i kinda avoid non-Koreans if they're kpop fans or if they act weirdly (they have a way of treating us like fantasies but also act very weirdly toward us)

oh my god yessss. for a disclaimer, i grew up in kr/kr american neighborhoods or at least very predominantly asian neighborhoods for almost all my life so most of my experience with ppl being gross was online and in school only and tbh until like, maybe ~2010 i never had a problem with ppl being weird about korean stuff specifically, mostly just weebs/yellow fever types. but when that started becoming a problem i just never said that i was korean specifically and if i ever made reference to my race i'd say "asian" or "east asian" only lol. if i was around other asians i'd be more open but it's definitely tough, as i've had non-kr asians be kind of weird about it too sometimes unfortunately and i really don't know what to do about that either bc i do not do that to others?? it's so bizarre to me. and yes omfg i definitely see wym about ppl acting like One Random Korean Person is somehow Representative of All of Korea and has to educate/have opinions on every korean-related topic under the sun too, i've had friends (even non-kr asian friends!!) always ask me about any korean related topic as if i was the expert on everything korean or assume i care about X korean show or Y kpop song or Z korean issue or will teach them about [___] korean food or whatever.

it reminds me of white friends expecting me to teach them how to use chopsticks in uni or always asking me how to pronounce any asian name (even if it wasn't korean!) and honestly annoys me a lot bc i would never do this to someone of another race. like i would never go to a chinese person and treat them like chinese person instead of chinese person so idk why they act like this????? and online dating is AWFUL esp as kpop got so big, i legit have had ppl immediately open with "omg i love kpop/kdramas/kimchi 😍" as if i'm supposed to care????????

also i'm korean american, not born in korea so i'm 2nd gen but my korean is awful (i learned japanese growing up instead bc my elementary school had very limited options...my mom is still giving me grief about that 20+ yrs later oof) and i don't consume much korean media outside of what i watch/listen/see with my family, so i'm often a "bad" korean or not korean enough to some people. it's one thing if my family jokes about it bc i can't handle spicy foods but it does hurt when it comes from like, ajummas at church or something. i'm also not "traditionally" a good woman — i have darker skin (maybe from growing up in a tropical area?? i used to be even darker and my mom would always comment on it negatively), i am more masc/gnc, i don't date men, i don't/won't have children, i have no interest in becoming a doctor/lawyer, i am not christian, etc. so my mom has gotten a lot of flak from other koreans for raising me "wrong", even from her own extended family. it really just sucks bc it made me hate her and korean culture when i was a kid and it's taken so long to understand why she tried to pressure me to fit an ideal mold. then on the flip side i can't even just be a "normal" american, i've had ppl assume i don't speak english (i speak fluent english!!!!), say i sound esl (i literally don't T_T this one feels kinda racist ngl), ask me where i'm from, stare at me in more white areas, white ppl randomly try to speak (really, really bad) korean to me, etc so i find i don't really fit in comfortably anywhere but with other asian americans in the end. it's a kind of awkward in between two worlds where i'm never enough of either to count. idk if you experience that too. it sometimes bums me out bc i have friends who are, say, 2nd gen filipino or chinese or viet and we all share that feeling to varying degrees. like a fish out of water kind of feeling.

specifically in trans spaces i've had a lot of issues with fetishization, esp from white tims (though i've had my unfair share from tif kpop stans) but also from non-kr asian tims, but thankfully it's been long enough that i've been out and cut most tims out of my life that i could w/o getting cancelled as a terf that most of my day to day is just frustration with irl (this is like 90% of the problem) and more casual online spaces like twitter, reddit, tumblr, etc. (which i try to be kind of anonymous in nowadays). still i do have to interact with some tims and tifs and it does make my stomach crawl to see full ass white women larping as kpop boys or men posting about how asian women are the ~peak of femininity~ and they just want their ~kpop goddess~ or whatever and nobody calls this shit out for what it is. it's so demoralizing and i'm happy i left the trans community. i just wish there was more of an asian/asian american detrans community (hah...if only) or at least lgb community, bc i only know a very small handful of lgb asians and most of them are bihet women......

interestingly outside of kpop and kdramas most of the fetishization seems to be just bog standard asian fetish/yellow fever, idt most of the idiots who try to hit me up with "i've never been with an asian before ;)" even know what i am lmao. so i guess there's that? i've always had a weird frustration w/ this bc it's like korea is invisible except for kpop/kdramas so they can't even be more specific in their fetishization lmfao

this turned out super long and idk if it helped but if you ever want to message me off anon abt this pls feel free to!! i try to be kind of vague on here bc i am scared adding details will dox me. but i would be totally open to off-anon messaging as this is smth i feel strongly about esp as i've gotten older and moved to whiter areas. hoping to move back to at least a more asian neighborhood soon bc god i am sick of going to the gas station or whatever and being full on stared at by the white ppl there. it makes me very uneasy tbh. unfortunately am stuck rn for work.

#mine #long post #sorry this came out so long i started typing and as i thought more abt it i got angrier lol #U_U i just. sometimes hate it here

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bluelulls · 4 years ago

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I really despise school so much I feel like I don't deserve to dislike it so much bc like a lot of stuff came easily to me and I graduated hs by only studying one history lesson out of... literally all lessons across all subjects... (I didn't have good grades everywhere I just took extra english classes to balance it out) but I still hate school idk first of all the system here is so unfair and we shouldn't reward kids for knowing things but for trying. I mean if the kid just remembers easily penalising them would be stupid but why penalise the kid who works hard to learn but doesn't manage?? It's not like they're doing it on purpose... but in general a reward system is not how school should go you're supposed to learn not get a prize... and a lot of those classes are kinda useless... also teachers should be a lot better equipped to deal with mentally ill, disabled & neurodivergent students... it got to the point I'd go to the nurse's to miss philosophy classes. he let me stay ofc thank u king but like wow that teacher was literally awful as a person who interacts with other human beings. bc of that I did not understand a damn thing about the method in philosophy assignments and spent the whole year with her pushing me to 'do better' but like if I don't get it I can't sprout doing better out of my ass. also like ofc I had sleeping problems and often missed 1st period (on purpose if it was philosophy) or like just kinda waited for the right class to pass out in. I rarely properly attended my english classes by the end of the year bc I was just sleeping in it... tbf I also didn't need it bc my english grad exam was substituted with one of the extra english classes' grad exam but I still felt bad for the teacher. it's just that none of the teachers before him would let me rest a little and I had his class at 4 pm, started at 8 am 😐 and I had 2 hours w him I woke up for the 2nd hour everytime but still. also PE fucking sucks like I was lucky in my 2 last yrs of hs we got to pick what we wanted to do I got to do aerobics & step (& volley which I of course got a shit grade at, & handball which I actually enjoy but my knee was fucked up real bad so I couldn't) the years before that was PAIN. fucking swimming in 10th... I never did it I refused to wear a swimsuit lol. climbing was cool and handball was nice but badminton was really humiliating. and again PE never rewards effort so if you just can't do it you can really sleep on that good grade you hoped to have. oh and forcing specialisations on kids I understand and I understand why you'd need maths along with other scientific classes but I also fucking don't! If I'm good at physics chem & bio and I wanna study sciences why are maths stopping me?? I don't need maths to understand physics I understand the maths part of physics because they are physics. If I don't understand shit maybe you don't know how to teach ppl like me. why do I have to suffer for it

#mind's wandering

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rusalkarusa · 7 years ago

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OK i really feel like doing it, thank you @stardustae for tagging me💕

1. What's your name?

Olga

2. Nicknames?

The most common one is Olya, but some of my friends get creative and call me Lyolya, Olyona, Olyola, Lyalya, Olesya etc etc (the list can be endless tbh), also Bagi (short for my surname) i know these look weird in English, but in Russian they sound very cute😄

3. Where do you live?

Russia, Moscow:)

4. What do you think about love?

Oh. I have so many thoughts about love... I think it's endless mutual understanding, endless support, endless desire to sooth the pain of another person... Basically it's when you help each other get through this life, when you encourage each other to move forward. When you prevent another person from achieving their goals and dreams this is definitely not love. For me it's also being able to talk about anything, and it's some sort of mind connection and mind compatibility. Also OF COURSE it's mutual respect and realisation that love is hard work and not just simply a feeling. I love Erich Fromm's understanding of love in "the art of loving", he says that love is always, always an action. I highly recommend everyone to read this book, in changed my perception of love a lot

5. Do you have any bad habits?

Procrastinating, not eating anything for breakfast, not calling my relatives and friends even when i think about them, procrastinating, social networks (especially tumblr lol), bad eating patterns, procrastinating once again...etcetcetce

6. Do you have any siblings?

I have a brother who is 27 years old!

7. Do you smoke?

Rarely, actually. I'm not addicted to smoking in a casual way (i don't feel the need to smoke everyday and i don't spend money on cigarettes), but i always smoke at parties (literally always) and also when I'm with friends who smoke, when I'm alone i smoke only when I'm too sad or when i feel a sudden desire. But that doesn't happen very often, i can go without smoking up to half a year and feel totally okay

8. Do you play any instrument, sing or none of both?

I don't play instruments and i don't have a very strong voice but i hear the music quite well and my voice sounds pretty okay when i sing (some ppl said i had a rather pretty voice although idk)

9. Do you get lonely often/quickly?

Not really, recently I've realised i don't really feel lonely at all. I don't know why, maybe because my own company makes up for everyone else lol idk

I do have some very good friends but if they don't have time to communicate with me i don't get upset,i know they still love me

10. Who is the sexiest man/woman on earth for you?

Hard question lol. I like Herman Tommeraas in this way (is that how his name even written lol? I just really like the way he looks that's all), but there are also other ppl that i just can't remember

11. Would you marry someday?

Maybe. If I felt like i would certainly spend the rest of my life with this person. Definitely not in the near future though:)

12. What do you think about reality?

Ugh I'm dumb as shit to think about reality it's too overwhelming

13. Birthday

March 19

14. Gender

Female

15. Sexuality

Bisexual but it's very fluid tbh

16. Height

167 cm

17. What time and date is it there

7:02 pm, 15.12.2017

18. Average hours of sleep

From 4 to 11 lmao it literally is that different (punch me)

I also sleep during day time a lot, does that count?

19. The last thing i googled

"Протокольная служба Сбербанка" lol

20. My most used phrase(s)

Too stupid to translate

21. First word/phrase that comes to mind

"Then perish"

22. What I last said to a family member

"OK bye mom"

23. One place that makes me happy and why

Kolomyenskoye park in Moscow, i love this place.

My home city also

Velikiy Novgorod. This is a very, VERY Russian place and i feel very Russian when i visit it (my aunt lives there). I couldn't name one

24. How many blankets i sleep under

1, it's too hot

25. Favourite beverages

Don't hate me, but beer.

26. The last movie i watched in theatres

It was so long ago. I think it was The Neon Demon

27. Three things i can't live without

Foreign languages (English and Spanish for me), music, sleeping a lot (i really cant live without it)

28. Something i plan to learn

Portuguese! Also french and Norwegian, but first Portuguese.

29. A piece of advice for all my followers

If you feel like it's not getting better, it's not true. Live till you find something to live for (you will find it eventually, i promise) and then you'll understand that everything is worth it

30. Blogs i really like

I suddenly forgot all of my mutuals urls lol

If anyone wants to do it do it, i enjoyed answering the questions:)

#about me #personal #tag

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protectmarkjin · 8 years ago

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how do you feel about all he people turning against jb and calling him annoying because he stated that he liked girls when a male fans said he loves him? i honestly don't find it as a very big deal tbh especially because he's from a more conservative country and they have different social expectation, and i've lived in those environments. but idk i guess i can understand how others feel about his rash comments and undermining the male fans efforts.

sorry this got a bit long so i put a keep reading thing lmao

i mean i dont know or can decide what people get offended or not by and ive seen a lot of different reactions to what jb has said recently and previously; some don’t see it as a big deal, some do have a problem with it but can see past it and some have a really big problem with it and can’t see past it and all of those people are entitled to their opinions and feelings about it. personally, i feel weird when jb says things like this, i dont understand why he feels the need to remind us numerous times that he’s straight when he gets associated with men in a more than platonic way like just bc he hugs youngjae or smth im not gonna instantly forget every time he’s said he’s straight? and i feel bad for and can see how the male fans felt shut down and disappointed by what he said. ive seen a reason that jb says these things and its bc he’s “uncomfortable with shipping/people forcing a sexuality/relationship on him” and, honestly, i don’t buy that bc shipping is an integral part of kpop fandom and, although i know some shippers can take it way too far and be incredibly invasive, all idols are prepped for that and even encourage the concept of it like jb is no stranger to fanservice so if he was uncomfortable with it then he would stop indulging it but he doesn’t so idk i kind of see through that reason tbh. people have also said that its a mistranslation or that korean doesnt like translate totally accurately over to english yknow theres like phrases n stuff in korean that dont come across the same way in english n yea i get that but like… once we get to the 4th or 5th time of this happening it can’t be translations every time yknow? and ive seen people bring up like the society he grew up in and also his dad and i’m sure both have factored into his views and beliefs etc but he’s also a grown man who makes his own decisions and has his own beliefs like he is the only one in the group who gets this weird and defensive and has a problem when people bring up him with men and being more than platonic or friendly with them and it is coming across to some people that he has a fragile masculinity or, in the worst of cases, it has come across to some as homophobic look idk if i can make a certain decision on what he means from these different incidents but what i do know is every time something like this happens it makes me feel weird and uncomfortable and i, and others who feel that way, are entitled to that yknow im not planning on unstanning got7 any time soon and i cant switch off how much i care abt jaebum and have done for the past like 5 years but sometimes you may not rlly know a person and their beliefs so if we could just have an adult, mature conversation abt it instead of tearing each other apart or calling ppl fake stans or throwing “got6″ around every time this gets brought up then maybe we could get somewhere but we all saw with jackson what happens when fans tried to educate him so i rlly dont know sorry my thoughts are all over the place and i tried to approach this as like neutral and balanced as possible but then show my take as well i hope this helps!

#ask #anon #if any of u have a problem w what i said pls let me kno i want 2 have a decent conversation abt this #n im open 2 all views on this situation #ive been rash n impulsive n jumped 2 conclusions n got angry before n it got me nowhere #so i want 2 approach situations differently from now on

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adhdvane · 4 years ago

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Anon back again, don't worry about delay in answer! I'm not expecting you to reply in a matter of seconds and I'm patient anyway! (●'◡'●) (and yeah, tumblr's notification system kinda suck so really, not your fault haha)

I understand your struggle with fics all too well lol I'm sure a time will come when it just clicks and you can write the good stuff ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ And no need to feel bad if you haven't posted a lot on ao3! You don't have to have 1000 fics or 200k word-long fics for your works to be enjoyable!! Even little ficlets and drabbles are good to have around ♥

It's good of you to have taken time for yourself if you needed it ♥ And yeah, completely understandable to hesitate and come back to fandom in general with the current state of things (a couple years ago I made an IE/Go sideblog and I'm still terrified that someone is going to come up and yell at me for shipping the characters lmao And that's without counting the Problematic™ fics I wrote when I was 16 lmao)

Regarding your tags, I'm just sitting there like starry-eyed because YES TenKyou. I'm DELIGHTED to know that's your preference because that's mine too for the ship asklhjkh

As for Todd and Prof Mirror, that's a tough and personal question, so good luck! (I'm thinking Todd topping's nice but does it make the prof kink better or not is the question!! ALSO in the french version, I know there's a line from Todd going like "Mirror was already being called Professor before he was a professor" so maybe he's not the only one with a prof kink, just from a different angle, hah)

(you say sorry for rambling, but joke's on you, I ramble too! Sorry for clustering your blog though woops Have a good day! (´･ω･`) )

rip, okay, once again i apologize about this one being even later, mostly bc i saw it early, but i haven't been able to sit down and respond to it. this week was the last week of the month so i actually had a lot to do at work and was able to go in every day (as opposed to 1 - 2 days bc business is still so slow). but at the end of the month i do invoicing for inventory charges for that month for each customer. though i was able to actually get a lot of it done sooner than usual (bc i actually started the process on tuesday instead of thursday), there were still three big ones i couldn't even do until thursday bc they had several orders in production that didn't get shipped until thursday. I was going to finally get to this ask on friday when i got home (we only work half days on friday and close at noon)… but the new gbf event had started… and uhg… a sho centric event. g od.

rest of the word vomit under the cut

before i just—IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT THIS GBF RAMBLING FEEL FREE TO SKIP BELOW TO THE END THE GBF OF RAMBLE—this event askjdsjkdfslkdjsdjg talk about giving the antag his redemption art event. the emotional growth in sho. so many new assets to save… there are fricking 6 different versions of his character labeled _painful (_painful, _painful2, etc.), and like so many zoom in's that basically every one of his images has an _up version (the battle ones ((the ones of him on his gearcycle)) also have a bunch of _up2 versions that are zoomed in between the default and _up close up) anyways these in particular kill me.

sho "i'm-not-going-to-cry-or-show-expresions-of-gratitude" awkwardly smiling and crying in this event (while also repeatedly getting the shit kicked out of him/getting hurt. having a moment of breaking down from exhaustion and pain, in the rain, before deciding he has to swallow his pride. every single english word that comes out of his mouth, cv: taniyama kishou is a gift (on a side note i can't believe he fucking played alpha in chronostone. like thats fucking hilarious a va and voicalist capable of such range and drama voicing alpha and his serious monotone ass). Sho (@tsubasa): You showed me the light before—[…] Tsubasa: Wait, what? Whaddya mean I showed you the light? ((you mean when he punched you in the fucking face at the end of the previous event of this series?))). I mean I already shipped bc of the their last event, how can you not ship the guy screaming he's going to kill the protag w/the protag esp after getting punched in the face by the protag at the end makes him calm down and be like fine i guess you win i'm not going to try to kill you know and our gangs don't have to fight. also they're both like 16 (or at least tsubasa is canon 16 (a yeas totally looks like a 16 year old) and sho is at least still in school and at least confirmed to be a minor (not age of majority, which idk what that is exactly in universe, could be 18, could be 20, bc it is fantasy, but it's also japanese, thoguh japan's age of majority is actually lowering from 20 to 18 next april (2022), drinking/smoking/gambling age will still be 20, and the comment in this event was about we're still minors save the smoking for when you're an adult). sho could arguably be 18 or 19 and still believably in school and be considered a minor legally (if in universe gbf follows japanese laws) considering the time he spent in juvie he could easily have been held back. gbf will probably just make him tsubasa's age if a canon age is release. but thinking about sho being 19 and tsubasa being 16 would make some ppl upset and that brings me joy. (also just how funny it could be thinking about (bc everyone is perpetually the same age) how later when sho a year older and legally being able to drink, and tsubasa not, and despite the fact sho being like i will break the laws about physically assaulting a guy but underage drinking, smoking, and drugs is a no-no is fucking hilarious. (the app is rated t so i guess there's only so much you can do…) (oh and one last note, a character in the event asking if sho enjoys the pain and is a masochist, to have other character be like dude you can't just ask someone that. sho saying no he doesn't enjoy the pain. only for later when they are escaping, a character noting "You look rather happy about all this. Now I'm sure youre a masochist." gbf first crushing my sho masochist headcanon and then building it back up in this event, thank u gbf). anways, rip that was a lot and not even everything, as you can see i have been… distracted by this event. apologies

—END OF GBF RAMBLE—

oh god worry about ppl like that in ina like, there really people out there who don't want you shipping ficitional children?????? and the main ina cast is roughly between 12-15. and got i started watching ina in 2013 when i was 19. which apparently for some people is like bad uwu because it's a show for young teenagers (like lol too bad i'm 27 and even though i haven't kept up with aries i still love ina and all the little babies and wont stop shipping). i didn't even know there was people out there who get UPSET AT AGING UP??? like wtf???? sorry i want them to be old enough to marry, adopt children, have a job, and also f.uck. the dpk au is my lifeblood (and has a lot of Problematic™ content that's never even been posted online anywhere bc it used to be an rp. my favorite is that out of all the relationships in the au, tenma and kyousuke's is probably the most unhealthy bc of kyousuke's mental health. some very bad things happened to fei (per request of my rp partner) (part of vanfeny and garsha's revenge on saru as they were sent to megun while saru walks around ''free'' (what exactly is free is a whole other lore mess in itself that i wrote up about post chrono stone future). and that just lead to more bad things fei then did to himself. problematic™ content 9492347 in the dpk au, shipping ozrock and lalaya. (even worse, bc of lore planning i did for the au and decided how their species worked, lalaya is about 6.5 cycles (faram obius years) or roughly 130 earth years and biologically similar to 13 year earth years, and ozrock is about 48 Ixal years roughly 48 earth years and biologically similar to 24 earth years. so like even a worse ship. i mean just ignore cultural norms would be different on an alien planet and also she's royalty and has an obligation to be wed even younger and is probably socially more mature than a human 13 year old. rip sorry i just like alien stuff. a lot of this was also because wouldn't it be great for lalaya to have a really long lifespan so the human friends she makes get older faster and also die way before her :) ina's gunna hurt me with the bug aliens then i'm going to… continue to hurt myself with more alien life span stuff.)

Anyways, With TenKyou, idk I think it's easy to paint tenma as the innocent ~pure baby~ and kyousuke as ~bad boy~ bc of the first inago… and seed kyousuke was a little bastard man (affectionate). which would idk explain the default to kyouten. but like kyousuke chills the hell out in chrono stone and galaxy. and just bc tenma is a dumbass with a heart of gold obsessed with soccer doesn't necessarily mean he's has to be ~innocent baby 受け~ trope. (not that these are the only tropes that decide) (maybe it's bc i sort of like messing with what it must be like to be the main protagonists best friend and watch him continue to overcome everything and be in the spot light and how everyone praises him. kyousuke with self-esteem issues, looking back at all the problems he's caused, tenma has flaws but they're either negligible or something to love about him and mine have only hurt others. disregarding his own goddamn plot armor in the past. complex, emotional, suffering kyousuke is how i like my kyousuke. need we even get into how god eden was canonically revealed to be physically/mentally abusing seeds and that whole can of worms) (also just "nervous baby i don't know how to approach tenma" kyousuke, "cheeky little shit doesn't have any regards to personal space and boundries" tenma) at least if anyone starts giving me shit about an ina ship or problematic fictional ina content, i can always respond with something i drew back in 2015.

back to the matter of new snap though… that line is so familiar (im pretty sure it's in the eng txt, i have it set to jpn audio tho). i recently started keeping a log of the messages that pop up on the camp, lab, and map screens (but haven't saved too many bc i get distracted or at least i know i'm missing quite a few i have vague memories of). (also idk why my first thought to that line was mirror responding with "That was because you were the one calling me that.") there actually were a couple messages i saved initially that would be useful for fic writing:

Todd: "The professor used to be kinda reckless back in the day. I suppose after 10 year he must've calmed down a bit."

and

Mirror: "Todd's calmed down since I last saw him. Or maybe he's just acting mature because you kids are around…"

possible implications from these that I'm deciding to consider for headcanons:

both reckless and wild in their early 20's but that's not unusual, so they were acting like reckless young adults when they were 20. makes sense.

because mirror mentions the last time i saw him (which is definitely implied not 10 years ago since todd had a research team pin so obviously he's been around a bit since the lab was established) meaning todd is potentially still a chaotic bastard but is just trying to act like an adult in front of the kids. beautiful.

and on that note another wonderful Tood message:

Todd: "I never invited Phil to be my pupil—he just declared himself my "number one student" and started tagging along! But honestly…I was kind of flattered."

the possibility that when todd showed up in game, after that cutscene he went to talk to mirror like "this 10 year old just started following me and wont go away, pls help. what do i do?????"

this unsupervised 10 year old just followed a ~30 year old man into the wilderness and somehow just declares todd is mentor (and took the research team pin from todd to ''borrow''). this is a hostage situation. todd is the hostage.

the idea that perhaps todd just got back from a long expedition and was glad to be back and spend time with mirror, except this kid started following him around and wont leave him alone or go away, and then when he got to the lab there were two more kids there. how the fuck am i supposed to get it on with mirror when we have little alone time and when we finally do we're constantly at risk of being interrupted and/or walked-in on. (that last part was mainly the premise of the fic i wanted to write. "these kids are a handful how are we supposed to have intimate time. especially bc they're all so young and have child energy levels and when they go to bed i am already fucking exhausted." i'm thinking it might work better as like a drabble collection, that way i don't have to adhere to a plot line and can pick and choose scenarios to write because i keep winding up with more scenario ideas that i can nearly piece together into a coherent timeline anymore.)

(also a bit that rita becomes suspicious that they are 100% fu.cking even though all that happened was mirror wasn't asleep up in his bed above the lab and fell asleep in one of the bungalows w/todd and then tried to cover it up like haha what no, i was checking on todd he's not feeling well uh… what? where are my pants? oh. oh i can't believe i just totally got out of bed and left the lab without my pants haha.) (todd and mirror just trying to keep their relationship a secrete out of fear of rumors spreading and it affecting the lab's funding, even though rumors definitely started ages ago but neither of them realize). (also todd doesn't trust phil to keep his mouth shut and doesn't like the optics of the random 10 year old who started following him (UNSUPERVISED) just blabbing to his parents about how his cool mentor is dating the professor at the lab like yikes that could end badly worst case scenario.)

(i like the idea of mirror playing along with todd's ki.nk, albeit a little awkward sometimes (not very good at being intentionally 'sexy' about it, but that's not what todd wants anyways bc it's already inherenty sexy for him). Phill has a message "I barely get half the stuff the professor talks about. Do you?" and i can only image if he said that to todd

todd: （人*´∀｀）i know it's hot

phil: what)

anyways i hope you don't mind me rambling even more on your asks like this. last time i totally just cut chunks out to be smaller but this time… i'm going to leave things in rip.

#ask #anon #thank you or bearing with me #i haven't been on tumblr the whole week oops #sammy be quiet #i have been thinking about them a lot though #alSO RIP I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT TENKYOU A LOTT TO BECAUSE OF YOU #listening to ina music on the way to work every day this week #but also now i've just entered tsubasa/sho hell because of the new gbf event #their previous event was in 2018 so it's been some time #i didn't except sho to ever get content again #and now i know he's gunna get a gacha release when the banner changes to gala #and i want him so bad #if i don't get him.......... i would be willing to later sup ticket his ass though it'll be a while til he'd be ticketable rip #cw kink mention ///////#the dpk au means a lot to me even now #also speaking of ina shipping my first ina ship tsunatachi and god there was a really good doujin artist on pixiv oh boy #some people on here would lose their shit over like so much of pixiv's content #idk man #i apologize if some stuff doesn't make sense bc brain just vomits out words and thinks everything is in the correct order

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