#also idk why my notifications have been dumb lately and I just now saw this but we're just chalking it up to tumblr being tumblr

[guardian-angle22]

🌺send this to ten bloggers you think are wonderful. keep the game going🌺

[free-pancakes]

A modern AU where levi and hanji went for a trip n hanji somehow involved in a gangster group n they kidnap her cz she got some secret info of the gangster group.. Later levi went to rescue her but they killed hanji in front of his eyes..after some mnths levi find hanji in his doorstep alive n kicking.. The gangster was Ackerman gang and levi doesn't know about this gang because her mother ran away with levi n give him better life.. Also hanji reform Ackerman gang and made them have a better life that's why they give hanji to utterly depressed levi.

(I'm shitty in writing and English is not my first language 😑)

It had been months since... the incident. Levi looked down at his phone, the red bubble over his text message notifications glared at him—hundreds of unread messages. He didn’t have the heart to open them. All of his friends asking if he was okay, but he just needed time to cope. He wasn’t sure how long that would be, but 6 months was nowhere near enough. His tea finished brewing and he stepped over to the kitchen, pouring two cups. It was routine, he didn’t care. It didn’t matter that Hange wasn’t there anymore, he still set out the cup anyway.

They had been on vacation. He had finally convinced Hange to take a break from work. Finally. And they somehow got entangled in the infamous Ackerman gang’s plans, Hange accidentally coming across sensitive information and was almost immediately taken right from him. He had called Erwin, head of the city’s police precinct and they fought to save her, but she was killed right in front of them. He shuddered, and tried to wipe the scene from his memory everyday, but the images danced in his eyes more often than not.

Six months felt like an eternity to Levi, and he continued to go through the motions, passive day after passive day, routine again and again--it felt like living hell as his heart swirled with guilt and regret. He felt like a mindless robot. Erwin would stop by often, worried about him. He would simply and nonchalantly talk to Levi about work since Levi almost refused to talk, but just sit and listen. He mentioned that the Ackerman gang activity was slowly dwindling, and nearly ceased, but Levi didn’t care. If only they just stopped activity before they came across it that day. It was too late.

“This is worthless information, Erwin,” he muttered. Erwin looked sadly at his friend. “Nanaba and Mike are hosting dinner tonight if you want to come later. Take care, Levi.” He let himself out and looked back—it was hard to see Levi like this.

The sun lowered, shining warm, orange beams of light directly through his window spilling onto the floor. The day before they left for vacation, the apartment looked just like this—the comforting glow of sunset filling every room with light, and illuminating Hange as he watched her pack her clothes into her suitcase on the floor. The light reflected off the gold frame of her glasses and her brown eyes, making them glisten like pools of honey, and he was absolutley mesmerized. She looked up to find him staring at her from the couch, and gave him a big toothy grin and laughed, her actions making him just want to hug the hell out of her.

He stared at the floor, now empty, the apartment painstakingly silent without her laughter. He looked at the clock, and thought he might just go over to Nanaba and Mike’s. He didn’t want to, but it was probably good for him. As he stood up to go get changed, he heard a soft knocking at the door. He debated ignoring it, but something compelled him to go answer. He opened the door.

“What do you wan—”

An almost blinding ray of sunlight spilled into the room through the open door and he stared directly in front of him with wide-eyes.

“H-Hange?” he said, voice shaking so much, he almost couldn’t speak. It felt so good to say her name again.

“Hi, Levi,” she whispered, loving the feeling of his name roll off her tongue out loud for the first time in months, soft at the sound of his voice. She was standing on his doorstep, messy hair, oversized sweatshirt, glasses, her annoyingly bright lipstick and all.

“A dream, yes this was a dream. Or some kind of joke,” he thought to himself. He just wanted to sit and stare at her for hours, scared that if he took his eyes off her, she would simply disappear into thin air, and he couldn’t bare to lose her a second time. She handed him a small hand written note.

“They told me to give this to you first,” she said with the dumb, toothy smile that made him weak at the knees.

He snatched the piece of paper out from her with shaking hands, and opened it.

“Hange was more helpful than we could have imagined. But please, take her back. She never shuts up and we know more useless scientific facts and knowledge than we ever wanted to know. And do us a favor--Don’t run into us again. Signed, Kenny Ackerman”

A black van sped off from behind them, and Levi was simply dumbstruck— but Hange was standing right in front of him. It was too real to be a dream, despite how absolutely ridiculous and confusing the note was. They weren’t wrong about the “never shutting up” part, though.

But it didn’t matter. She was alive and standing on his doorstep. Their doorstep.

He struggled to form words. “How? We saw you—”

“You didn’t think I was dead, did you? There’s no way that would have happened without me at least getting to say goodbye to you first or something, Shorty. Plus I wouldn’t go down without a fight, you know me--right Levi?”

He stood, silent. She cocked her head to the side, a caring expression across her face, and took a step forward and to wipe the tears from his cheeks with her thumbs. He didn’t even realize he was crying. She cupped her hands around his face and pulled it close to hers, their foreheads and noses touching, feeling each other’s puffs of warm breath on their skin. Tears fell down her face too, and Levi pulled her into his embrace, desperate to feel her heart beat close to his.

Honestly, he didn’t care for hearing her explanation, so that could wait til later. But he suspected her crazy mind did something to the Ackerman gang, and Erwin’s earlier comment was starting to make sense.

He left a small kiss on her lips, his body overcome with gratitude and relief as she kissed him back.

(thanks for the ask, anon! idk what this is lol but i don’t think it did justice to your awesome au idea! if you want something much much better, check out this by @smallblip and this by @fanmoose12! Based on the nature of your ask, you’ll absolutely love their fics!)

[idiosyncrasy-at-its-finest]

March 8, 2020.  A message for a friend I never shared (+ mini blog post)

Routine sweeping of my google drive.  Not sweeping because there’s over five hundred docs, probably (almost all of them stories + pieces of fiction + journal type thought jots + poems).

I wrote this at 12 am.  It’s just over three pages long in docs.  I shared it (w/o sending an email notification) to the person this was for.  When I woke up and remembered what I’d done, I unshared it.  I don’t think he ever saw it.

Disclaimer: I don’t have any romantic feelings for him.  People have thought so and that just makes me feel awful (since he has a girlfriend).  I had a crush on him when I was in seventh grade (he was a freshman).  I’m a rising junior now, and he’s going off to college.  An iVy lEaGuE boy <3

Writing remains unchanged except for a ‘wh’ I corrected to ‘with’ and another typo (I was really tired (+ sad) when writing this).

Hope you enjoy because I cried while rereading this.

Title in docs: it’s too late for this

Hmm I looked this over.  Dumb.  It’s okay.  It’s 1am.  I’ll chalk it up to being sleep drunk or whatever it is I go through.  Or hormones.  Yeah that’s it.  Yeah this makes zero sense but it’s like a stream of consciousness type.

March 8, 2020

I think the word love is kind of fake now, I do.  Everyone uses it so casually and I’m guilty of the same thing.  Idk why I’m writing like… this.

Okay.  Hi.  I’m feeling a lot of things right now and, to be frank, I don’t like it.  It’s strange.  And weird.

One: dependence.  I have friends, yeah, and one go-to friend who’s pretty much always there for me when I need her.  But when I don’t need her, like in school, there are these hurtful, biting comments, these eye rolls that really really hurt.  I’m just not as comfortable with her as I used to be.  And I have other friends, sure, but not ones that I can rely on for everything.

But you?  I think I’m a bit too reliant on you.  I spoke to someone on omegle (multiple people really, but I digress), and they said not to do drugs.  Wow symbolism or whatever.  It’s not like you’re a drug per say, but I just have a really really really bad addiction.

You’re kind of like candy.  I love it but know that it’ll give me headaches after.  And in your case, or our case, it’s not like you give me a headache.  It’s me.  I really dislike that.

Let me start over.

I love you.  More than I should.  I don’t feel as much with other people.  Not as many positive emotions.  My family makes me really sad sometimes, my friends get me really annoyed.  They both can make me feel happy, but you… you make me feel like I’m on cloud nine.

Do I know what that is?  Not really.  Do I care?  No  A little bit.  I don’t like not knowing things.  And yet…. I digress.

I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything about it or text me more or whatever but you are important to me.  That’s it.  You are important to me.

You are so important to me.  I kid you not, everything you do affects me.  When you say something that isn’t exactly positive, my mind reels over it for hours.  If you ghost in the middle of a conversation, I obsessively check my phone.  I realize this behavior may be displayed in psychopaths and yet… I trust you’ll stick with me.

Maybe it’s because you treat me so well.  I’m not sure.  You entertain my questions, you listen to me.  I’ve been called annoying my whole life, my family tunes me out, I’ve developed the habit of talking to myself.  People jokingly point out that I talk too much about myself, I talk too much in general.  They think it doesn’t hurt.  It does.

But you make me feel heard.  Most of the time.  And then other times I remember that I’m not the only thing in your life.  You have other friends, a girlfriend, other priorities.

I love you so much I would never want to hurt you.

But I forget I’m not as important to you as you are to me.  I care about you so much it hurts.  My stomach tightens every once in a while when I text you.  Not quite butterflies but something else.  A snake, maybe, squeezing my insides.  It makes me feel like I’m about to explode.  This hasn’t ever happened to me before.

And I talk about you too.  Probably too much.  My friends once joked and said that if you broke up with your girlfriend it would be my fault.

I didn’t like that.

I suppose you’re on my mind more often than you should be, but I can’t help it.  And maybe this sounds like a love letter— and I guess it’s because it is— just not that kind of love.  A special kind.  A kind I’ve never experienced before.  A kind reserved just for you.

It’s really late.  I’m sorry you had a bad day.

I’m not quite sure what to say anymore but I know there’s lots.

I think that you probably don’t know the effect you have on me.  I don’t either.  Maybe it’s because I’m going through a particularly rough time dealing with… who knows what.  It’s not a simple mood swing though.  I’ve been feeling… off… for ages.

Everyone says I’m so happy.  I like that they think I am.  I love to make others smile!  And with you I’m always so negative.  I’m sorry.  I just feel guilty being sad with others.  And I’m tired of being sad alone.  I don’t like where my thoughts go.  No extremes but… it’s lonely.  And overwhelming.

When you’re here for me I feel like I can be myself.

But in school.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for always insisting you don’t love me.  I know you do or at least I hope you do since you always say so.  It’s just that whenever you’re near I want to cling onto you.  You’re my lifeline.  You simultaneously drive me insane while being the only thing that keeps me sane.  Somewhat sane.  Every time you leave, I hurt a little bit.  And it’s not your fault.

I tried, for a bit, getting rid of you.  Decided it was unhealthy.  Unhealthy to love someone the way I love you.  But I was too weak.  I muted your notifications, I didn’t start conversations, I took you off my private story.  It only made me check more, wait more anxiously, feel more alone.  And you hadn’t even noticed.  I don’t think you knew you were even taken off.  That’s okay.  I’m not sure what I was expecting.  And it’s fine you don’t always start conversations.  You kind of are now though.

When you told me you kind of missed me the other day, I smiled.  Really wide.

And I remember last year, maybe.  I gave you a hug and immediately you’d asked what was wrong.  We barely talked last year and yet you knew.  You could tell, better than anyone else.  I’d spent the previous night crying, but I didn’t want you to know.  I think I told a joke and you laughed.

And another time it happened, where I hugged you and you asked what was wrong.  But that time nothing was.  And I laughed because I realized it was so you.  To maybe act like you don’t care about me but then really be there when I need it.

But sometimes it feels like you’re embarrassed of me.  I’ll hug you and you’ll pull away, tell me you have to go.  And I feel like a burden.  Boy if I haven’t been called one before…

And I’m sorry for calling so much.  It’s annoying, I’m annoying.  I know.  And I’m sorry.

I don't text that often.

A tedious task— just see each other at school.  I prefer to call, as well, so my hands are left free and I can do other things.

But I text you a lot.

Also.  When I called you.  And you called me [a nickname only family + close friends call me].  And asked what was wrong.  It felt nice.

But I think I’m too attached.  I don’t like it.  I don’t like how I say ‘I love you’ without having punched you beforehand.  I don’t like how real it is.

It sounds like love, doesn’t it?  Like I’m in love.  Maybe I am.  I think I’m in love with the idea that maybe someone really will always be there for me.  But I’m not in love with you.  Not like some people say.

Again, I’ve spoken about you.  You’re on my mind a lot.

Will I send this to you?  Maybe.  It’s weird talking to ‘you’ and yet not really.  I think I might share it with you.  But I won't send an email.  I don’t need you to know about this

I didn’t even end with a period.  I shared it with him, at 1 am I believe, thinking I’d update it every so often.  He wouldn’t have gotten a notification when I shared it, so I figured if he saw it, he saw it.

I would constantly tell him I loved him more and every time he argued back, saying he cared more for me, in my head I’d be screaming: “no, I love you more” because it really felt like it.  Still does.  I’m not sure where I got these trust issues, but they’re here and they’re mine.  He wouldn’t hear me out, so I had to type it.  I can tell him anything, I know that.  He’s like the brother I never had except we’re not always at each other’s throats like many brothers and sisters are.

[page-twenty-eight]

when i said i think about you every day i wasn't kidding, you're always on my mind.

sometimes i just wonder what you're doing, how your day's going. sometimes i get nostalgic and cry about songs that remind me of you and things we talked about.

but lately it's either the little things, just being able to send you screenshots from a really annoying groupchat i'm in and just know you'll find it funny too or just in general your presence in my life. knowing that even if you're busy or out or whatever i can rant about anything, tell you anything, and while the messages may pile up, you'll be back within a day and you'll either reply or we'll just start talking about something completely different because it was never discussing whatever i had to say that mattered, it was saying it, and to someone i trusted with it, someone it felt safe with, someone i knew would have a good laugh about it, someone who was genuinely curious about whatever dumb shit i was currently thinking. someone who was you.

i haven't been good at staying in contact with friends lately, i haven't written to el in forever (but she did actually email me the other day so obviously i'm gonna reply), vicky hasn't been too well and the mothership is mostly dead, and i haven't even talked to any of those people i never really cared about just had fun casually talking to (and then talk shit about them with you-) and even though we did talk for a bit, i stopped talking to angela again too i don't quite know why i just don't seem to find the time to talk to her or the motivation but it's not even that general feeling of having someone i can talk to that i miss, it's you. thinking of something funny and sending it to you and then waiting for you to come online and see it. your reactions. your unique way of seeing situations. the weird way you sometimes phrase things. the instinct of seeing someone posting a photo of a cat and sending it to you. your opinions on everything and how we agreed on so many things and we'd start talking about some serious topic and have one thread of it still going but at the same time also talking about something hilarious somehow related to the same thing. either of us saying something really random and 99% of the time the other being like i've literally always though of it that way too !! sharing something i'm struggling with and you comforting me. sharing things i can't or at least don't want to share with other people. listening to whatever you're struggling with you and typing up paragraphs and paragraphs of advice or just whatever i could think of that would help you feel like you aren't alone and how much i fucking love you

i miss you more than i can say and i'm not sure i can even seperate the feeling from everything else going on in me because it's not just one specific ache i can pinpoint, i know it's an odd way to describe it but it's more the lack of the whole funny-exciting-unique-heartwarming-stimulating-etc feeling of having you around

i always knew i was the luckiest bitch ever to have a friend like you and couldn't imagine my life without you because even thinking of what it would be like hurt so bloody much but even so i must quote big yellow taxi and say we truly don't know what we've got till it's gone because even when we feel like yeah this person is my everything, you say that while you still have them by your side. & while we've all lost people or things important to us, it's never the same. when you're happy and with someone, you genuinely can't imagine the full extent of the emptiness you'd feel without them simply because you don't know it yet. so yes, while i knew that i'd suffer from losing you, the person who was always on my mind, who i was always looking forward to talking, who always made me smile, it just didn't seem realistic at the time and you had become such an important part of my life that it felt impossible. but for fucks sake it's been three quarters of a year since we stopped talked regularly and i miss everything.

and somehow we're still so connected, in some ways it's like you never left, and just now i was mindlessly scrolling through tumblr feeling awful and i got a notif of your reply to that post and it felt like nothing really matters around us because no matter what happens there'll still be you and me (cos how could i not include yet another lyrics reference-) and you'll reach through the fabric of the cosmos and take my hand and say you're not alone !!!!!!! and all i can say is thank you and hope that sometimes when you see something i post on here you can feel my hand reaching for yours too and that one day we'll find each other again or just steal some time like when you were in italy and we talked for a bit because fucking hell i'd give anything for just one conversation i miss you i miss you i miss you and i want to know all the stupid details about your life what you baked what your brother did what song you last listened to what dumb shit you saw that pissed you off whats on your mind what you struggle with and give you song recs and tell you about my day and complain about my mum being a jackass and make a billion lyrics references in one paragraph and spend a messed up sleeping schedule night like today talking to you until i can see the sunlight through my blinds and my eyes hurt and there are messages left unanswered i'm either excited to reply to when i wake up or excited to see what you reply !!

alrighty this is becoming too long and i'm not even making too much sense i'm just rambling on about how much i miss you so i'm gonna stop before i go on for another hour,, in conclusion i love you with my entire heart and pleaseee if you're ever in the mood to just rant about something or tell me abt your life even if it's idk five fUn fAcTs about #maddieinquarantine or even talk just hit me up or post something on whichever of your three accounts on here or whatever also i wanna make you a playlist with new recs cos i haven't really been using spotify too much and i've lost my touch when it comes to making playlists but i haven't shared any of the music i've been listening to in waay too long and you better do the same✌

okay byee i really am done now i love you💋

[bunny-rambles]

oh Lord my phone broke down three days ago and it took me hours just to understand how to send asks on pcs lmaoooooo-

anyways, sorry if this answer comes in a lil late, but hey! i am not dead! (i mean, i kind of am from all the studying i should be doing that i am not doing rn but hhhhhhhh life sucks during finals season)

on this note, today's word is biblioteca. it means library in italian! :) (fun fact: we do have the word libreria, which sounds closer to library, but it actually means bookstore :'))

oh cyno oh cyno let's talk about cyno. anubis inspo aside (which is really cool) he sounds so ;;;;;; hot and funny???? why oh why like i am SO in love with him omg i want to hang out with him i want to thread my hands in his soft looking white hair i want us to play dumb tgc games together and he just sounds like the kinda guy you could share random fun facts with, ya know. the kind of person i love hanging out with (also. again. he's hot)

aaaand he's also going to be my first electro character ahah never gotten around to build one of those lol

as per scara - i'm a f2p myself so i really hope i'll be able to get him after picking up cyno. moreover! the thing you said about tighnari is the same for me as well ;; i don't like losing 50-50s, but if i do, i hope it's him - pretty sarcastic man, he's such the type of guy that in italian we'd call "simpatico" (weird word, we never managed to find a translation for it, it's kind of like, fun guy you'd like to be friends with?? idk just someone you really like the vibes of) - tighnari pls come in my 70 standard pulls i have saved

please ;; you know that if you were here i'd actually love to have you hang out with us - even if it's mostly just us watching anime and bitching about our other friends these days lmaoo

going to bed now! goodnight dearest, ti voglio bene

- 🍓

Ahhh berry I’m so sorry-

This was completely buried under my notifs and I only now just saw it ):

ohh, interesting that libreria doesn’t mean library ! both of the words sound very pretty (meaning biblioteca, not library) but besides that

i hope you’re doing well abd I wish you the bestest of luck with your studies - I’m starting studying too this week

AAAAAA CYNO

I’m answering this after the trainer came out THAT VOICE AND THE ANIMATION AND THE AAAAAAAAA HES SO FDTSEDFUVU IM STILL NOT OVER IT

I love him I love him SO MUCH IM SO GLAD I HAVE HIM GUARANTEED AAAAAAA

He is definitely my ideal type irl too personality wise. I love him and his stupid little jokes I will laugh at them and then kiss his cheeks and make jokes myself that he’ll hopefully laugh at I just want to cup his face and mwAH !!

And now with the scara reveal I don’t know when he’s coming, it was suspected to be 3.3 but honestly he could come in 3.2 with the curve balls they’ve been throwing with characters recently. So I would say if you are pulling for Cyno, don’t bother getting cons because Scara might be just around the corner,,, you never know.

I was expecting Eula to be there for reruns but no Albedo just has to throw me through a loop like lol thanks I’m not having primos left after this patch lmfao :,) I will have to become non f2p for Scara;;;;

It sounds really nice <3 who knows, maybe it’ll happen in the late future, if I ever come to Italy I’ll let you know and maybe we can meet up when I know you better 💞

I’m so sorry this was stuck in my inbox for so long, I hope you’re doing well- I know you sent more after this one but I could just leave it there ):

Ti voglio bene fragola <3

[wordsformendes]

talk

requested: “Can you do an imagine about the media talking about how shawn cheated on you and how toxic y/n’s relationship with shawn and then y/n started getting worried and its just fluffy and cute.”

authors note: i hope this is okay. i know what it’s like to have people constantly talk about your love life and giving you a bad rep and all that. i’ve experienced it, and i can’t imagine what it would be like to date shawn, where people would constantly be talking about your relationship with him. i didn’t write about him cheating on y/n bc i wrote this the other day and told myself that i was gunna incorporate the cheating part but i’ve been sick, and i was feeling kinda lazy on editing this imagine and adding more stuff to it. i sincerely apologize and hope u enjoy this imagine anyway tho.

"Reasons why Shawn Mendes shouldn’t be dating Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Treat You Better singer Shawn Mendes, supposedly breaking things off with long time girlfriend Y/N.”

You read multiple headlines and articles talking about your relationship with Shawn. You’ve been dating Shawn for a while so you were usually used to the media making up dumb rumors for attention. But lately you and Shawn haven’t exactly been on the same page, and it looked like the media could tell. The articles didn’t bother you that much, it was mostly what his fans had to say that hurt.

@/shawnmendesfanacc: ok but shawn doesn’t seem happy lately and i’m kinda worried it’s bc of y/n

@/shawnmendesfanacc2: guys shawn hasn’t posted any pictures of y/n on his snapchat lately and if that doesn’t worry u idk what will

Most of his fanbase was supportive of your relationship and so you had seen other tweets from them saying nice things to him, and wishing him well. Other tweets you saw were even wishing you well, and saying things like “I hope Shawn and Y/N are okay. They’ve been together for so long, they need each other.”

They were right about that. You did need each other, but they were also right about him not seeming that happy lately. You and Shawn haven’t had any huge arguments or anything, but lately you were just bickering about stupid things that for some reason got in the way of your relationship. You had told him several times that you thought it was the distance, but he only denied you. You were worried. Worried about him, worried about your relationship.

After reading several articles and viewing subscribed snapchat stories, you decided you’d had enough. Your relationship with Shawn was real, and you were both always honest with each other, so you figured if you just told Shawn how you felt, then maybe he’d understand. And so you wiped any tears from your eyes and picked up your phone to dial Shawn’s number.

Surprisingly, he answered almost immediately saying, “Hey love.”

"Shawn.” You said quietly and paused for a small second thinking of how you were going to say what you wanted to say.

"I know this might be dumb but like, have you seen all the recent articles and crap that have been put out about us? And not to mention what your fans are saying. Look, I know lately we haven’t been on the same page, and I’m sorry about that. But you haven’t exactly said anything about it, and it makes me feel like you don’t care, I don’t know. All I’m saying is, if you wanna end things then we can but like.. Why haven’t you said anything Shawn!!??“ You were getting a little frustrated and you probably sounded overdramatic but you didn’t care. This is how you felt, and you wanted him to know.

You heard Shawn let out a quiet laugh through the phone and that frustrated you even more.

"Oh so you think I’m joking or something?” You said trying not to lose it.

“No baby, of course not. Listen okay? You’re right, we haven’t been on the same page lately. But guess what darling? All relationships are like this. I’m not gunna leave you just because you yelled at me for not eating dinner, or because we don’t agree on global warming.” You chewed on your lip as your boyfriend spoke. You opened your mouth to say something but he cut you off.

“And the media can suck it. Those articles are what’s worrying my fans, making them think that I’m not happy or whatever. I thought about tweeting something about it but I didn’t wanna cause any drama of some sort. But maybe now I will. Either way Y/N, the media is always going to talk. Whether it be about my happiness or yours, or ours. But I’ll still love you. Always.” And with that, you felt so much better. Shawn’s sweet rambling always warmed your heart and it made you feel better to know that he probably hasn’t said anything about all this, was because he honestly wasn’t worried about any of it. Your silly arguments would never get in the way of his love for you and that made you happy to know.

“I love you too.” Was all you could think to say.

There was some small silence over the phone when suddenly a Twitter notification went off. You pulled your phone away from your ear to look at your screen. It was Shawn, tweeting a link to one of those articles, but putting a caption above it.

@/ShawnMendes: sorry “People” magazine but, y/n and i are still together! actually, i’m missing her terribly right now haha

“Shawnnn, I miss you too.” You said through the phone, your heart fluttering. You were lucky to have someone like Shawn who you knew would always come through during small rough patches like this.

[andie-kouhai]

Tag 20 Followers You Want To Get To Know Better!

The lovely @yali-the-sloth tagged me on this....1 month and a half ago.... i...did not get a notification and....only saw it now *insert nervous sweating gif* BUT I'M STILL GONNA DO IT (seriosuly, i'm so sorry Yali ;_; forgive my dumb self)

Nicknames: Andie!

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Gemini @-@ (i really dont relate to it at all xD)

Height: 169cm ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff :3

Favorite Color: DESPITE ONLY WEARING BLACK AND OTHER NEUTRAL COLOURS IRL....i fucking love pink

Current Time: 6:35 pm

Average Number of Hours Slept: Honestly.... depends on the time of the year? xD like nowdays i can get like 7-9h of sleep (WHICH IS GOOD BC I NEED TO WAKE UP AT BLOODY 6 IN THE MORNING) but i had a 'phase' this year that i barely slept 5....

Lucky Number: 3!

Last Thing I Googled: Quiche Lorraine recipies.... (lets pray that i won't burn my house to the ground tomorrow :') )

Favorite Fictional Character: OH BOY.....ERM.. >.> i have like, fave characters from different  games and series i enjoy but i don't think i've ever had an ultimate favourite character @-@ Koujaku from DMMD has been on my mind this afternoon so he'll be my answer xD

Number of Blankets I Sleep With: I DONT SLEEP WITH BLANKETS >=O i have like a really thick duvet that does the job (i used to sleep with like 3 blankets when i still lived in portugal tho)

Favorite Bands / Artists: oh my....when was the last time i had time for bands.... BTS used to be my fave group and while i still love them dearly i just don't have time to follow them anymore T~T

Dream Trip: I can't possibly name just one. I would LOVE to visit Japan but i would also love to travel Europe *-*

Dream Job: Idk... i never really had a solid "this is what i really want to do for a living" aspiration. For now i'm persuing nursing

What I’m Wearing Right Now: Sweater and leggins cause aint nobody look glamurous after a crap day at work

When I Made This Blog: i.... don't remember @-----@ i know i joined tumblr in 2014 but it used to be one of those depression blogs and i got rid of it when i realised it wasnt actually helping me with my feelings (duh) so then i made this one.... maybe 2 years later?

How Many Blogs I follow: 308 apparently

Posts: 3,717

What I Post About: This blog is meant for positivity so i usually post anything cute, pink or that i have an interest on, like games, series, etc

When My Blog Reached It’s Peak: I don't think that has happened yet xD

Do I Get Asks Everyday: Have I ever gotten an ask in my life? *thinking emoji*

How / Why I Chose My Username: I ask myself the same thing #cringyusernamesFTW

 I'M TOO MUCH OF A WUSS TO TAG ANYONE :')

(Again, so sorry for answering this so late Yali ;_; hope some of my answers made u laugh or at least smile tho!)

[beach-fairy]

this is the first day in like years that i have been in bed all day like i haven't even turned on a light just scrolling reddit and tumblr and facebook over and over again from like 9am till now 10pm i watched 3 bad movies in a row and i didn't wanna get anything to eat because i would have to see people i dont wanna see i wanna get drunk but i know i would have to pee a lot and leave my room and also brush my teeth coz i ginger beer drink with alcohol and i couldn't sleep   with all that sugar on my teeth they are getting more and more yellow. i always wanna have the most comfort with the least amount of uncomfortable feelings but its just super super strong today like i had all day to clean my room which is disgusting and trashed but i can't clean unless im listening to music but my dad and his is home today so i feel too awkward to play it out loud and i dont wanna listen to it with headphones coz what if they call out my name and i can't hear them and its awkward?? he always comes in and lately he will make weird statements like oh you're still in bed you're feeling sad aren't you and then its so uncomfortable like its obvious why say it and why do i feel so uncomfortable talking to my parents about my feelings idk i just hate that so much. also i have to go see my mum tomorrow im taking her to the markets in the city and then we are going in to get lunch but thats so much time with her and so much personal stuff is going on in my life its hard to tell her how im going without saying anything personal also its just a big sad feeling in general but its so much better to see her like once a month and have 1 nice day than to see her heaps and fight a lot even tho it feels kinda fake i gotta try harder to be grateful. and joel (im gonna use his name coz i dont wanna say ex) also said he's really worried and i need to try harder in making friends i know he knows its hard but its scary saying that because he knows its because he won't be around forever even saying it now its like im not distraught because it feels sooo unreal anyways the night he said that i got added to this group chat with nice people from work i said to him for ages i wanted to be friends with them but its hard because some are sooooo extraverted and loud and really enjoy everyones company so its hard to have a relationship with them theres like 7 of them but they had a full on conversation for like an hour about when and where they were gonna meet up before the person who created the group decided to add me soon as i saw that i cried so much like why did she add me so much later and everyone else at the same time did she forget me or did someone say why not add claire and then she felt obligated to im scared they hate me and are just being nice i mean its such a weird group of people and weird they left some really nice people out. i guess no matter what happens im just gonna go if they dont like me or dont want me there ill feel it ill move on ill be ok ive been thru more uncomfortable work situations. i just wanna be pretty and funny enough coz they all are on this level im not on. ive had to mute the convo tho because none of us are all free on the same day and now no one is making and final plans and its too scary knowing any second ill get a notification saying ok its this day and it'll be the day i can't make it and its sad because its just a nice catch up for them but its such a big deal for me and there is so much pressure for me to be likeable and not weird and quiet and grumpy looking and to actually be able to participate in a conversation instead of smiling and nodding and making a dumb statement because i dont know how to talk to people beyond something super direct like if i leave a bad impression the next time they get together it'll be without me and honestly idk how my mind will handle that because i feel so fucking alone

[syakake]

1-92

go fuck yourself seriously 

but i did them all

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

yeah

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

no

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

once again no

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

i guess? strategic information sharing is key but i don’t like to talk about a lot of stuff

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

i don’t hang out with anyone irl lol

6. What are you excited for?

uhm... iunno.. the next bnha episode... can’t think of anything else i’m trying to answer these fast

7. What happened tonight?

it’s only 7:37pm rn so nothing yet

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

my friends used to be annoying about it like... kinda fake just to get into it i guess which made it so i couldn’t enjoy myself if that answers your question

9. Is confidence cute?

idk... if the person i like is confident, it’s cute. if it’s someone i don’t like, it’s not cute

10. What is the last beverage you had?

water

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

like 2

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

no but i own a lot of black leggings

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

probably watch boku no hero and play love live... iunno... go on gaia... try to draw i guess but probably not

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

some dumb shit

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

no also i haven’t ever willingly kissed anyone if that’s a question on here

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

yeah probably

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

no one to be honest i kinda get the feeling that people look at me differently 

18. The last time you felt broken?

honestly lol... if i spent my 3 minutes of memory on the 18 years of depression i wouldn’t even remember the english language or at least what i know of it

19. Have you had sex today?

no i’m virgin

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

i’m realizing that i’m dumb as shit

21. Are you in a good mood?

sorta

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

no i’m not that dumb as shit

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

i think so?

24. What do you want right this second?

too embarrassing to talk about

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

“sorry... you’ve been chopped” and then i’d go cry myself to sleep

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

yeah

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

yeah but i wouldn’t be happy

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

i’m always laughing at dumb shit fuck you if i remember that

it was probably when i changed my boyfriends skype name to “

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

not at the moment

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

i guess not... sometimes when it gets to my breaking point i’ll get too upset to come to terms or be able to reason at that time (at least lately) so if something kinda bad happened i just can’t be sympathetic anymore

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

well obviously not that’s me bf

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

i’d hug him really hard n kiss him on the cheeks 

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

i drink it rarely cause i crave it sometimes but yeah i barely ever drink it

34. Listening to?

my music stopped a while ago but i was listening to bloody stream

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

i don’t ever really have a need to but sometimes when i draw on paper i do

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

what did i tell you i haven’t kissed anyone

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no cause that’d be a bit shallow... and you usually only see that kinda stuff in movies anyways

38. Who did you last call?

bf

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

my mom’s ex boyfriend at a father daughter dance when i was like 11 or so

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

>:(((

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

probably at my mimi’s years ago during my baking phase

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

no my mom isn’t very affectionate like that unless she’s sad or worried etc

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

oh honey, all the time that’s just all i do

44. Do you tan in the nude?

i don’t tan

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

:/

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

yeah

47. Who was the last person to call you?

me bf also wasn’t this question already in here

48. Do you sing in the shower?

yeah sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car?

not really

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

i always tried to pull my brothers bow but i’m not strong enough to do it

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

when i was little. i was dressed as a fairy and i was blowing a little kiss and the kiss is a butterfly n i’m laying on a rock it’s framed in my house

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

nah

53. Is Christmas stressful?

it used to be a little stressful but now it’s very lonely

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

no

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

i don’t really like fruit pies anymore i’m just sick of pie

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

i wanted to be a painter like my dad (not the artist kind)

it’s sort of embarrassing bc i can’t even paint a deck anymore

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

not really

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

a lot

59. Take a vitamin daily?

uh, yeah 

my doctor was having me take magnesium and b6 to regulate mood swings from a medication i used to be on but i kept taking it for a while. i also take daily womens vitamins

60. Wear slippers?

yeah

61. Wear a bath robe?

no because it just sticks to my body and gets me all fucking sweaty right after i just showered so what’s the fucking point i hate them PLUS IT’S SO FUCKIN SHORT MY ASS STICKS OUT AND I CAN’T GO OUTSIDE IN IT

62. What do you wear to bed?

usually a t-shirt and underwear (underwear is optional)

63. First concert?

eh

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

walmart since they’re all over the place and the other two aren’t close at all

65. Nike or Adidas?

don’t care

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

don’t care

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

i don’t really care for both

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

if i had to pick one i guess i’d pick that one song that was on the radio recently and the music video has her between someones legs like the spank line in spongebob but i wouldn’t listen to taylor swift unless someone had me strapped to a chair forcing me to

69. Ever take dance lessons?

yeah. a lot. i took a lot of dance lessons i don’t like to da

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

“i just can’t be married to a retard”

71. Can you curl your tongue?

yeah

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

never participated

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

yeah but only recently

74. What is your favorite book?

don’t remember

75. Do you study better with or without music?

without

76. Regularly burn incense?

used to

77. Ever been in love?

hmm i guess so now

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

i don’t know... i’m scared to go to concerts bc of the epilepsy thing so

79. What was the last concert you saw?

alright can we stop it with the concerts

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

hot 

81. Tea or coffee?

both is good

82. Favorite type of cookie?

they’re all pretty good but i’m not crazy about oatmeal raisin

83. Can you swim well?

i mean yeah

the basics

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yeah

85. Are you patient?

fairly

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

idk? i’ve never been to a wedding really so

87. Ever won a contest?

no

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

no

89. Which are better black or green olives?

fuck olives

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

it’s fine i guess? do what u want or whatever or don’t i don’t care

91. Best room for a fireplace?

put it in the fucking bathroom i don’t care

92. Do you want to get married?

idk maybe but not anytime soon

plus it’s not like i’d be a good wife or mom so why tf would anyone wanna marry me LOL

that concludes this shitshow