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cyberrgirlsblog · 5 months

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lamb to a slaugther

“Jupiter was suppose to be a star but failed”

“To say it failed would be to assume it was ever possible”

Reaper ash x reader

tw: death, classism, elitism, cuss words, religion and religous imagery play a big role in this series. erm idk what else, not proof read by anyone else besides me.

word count: 7.1k

part 1

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It was a hot 4th of july, sweat ran down my brow as i held onto Dill as we walked to the reaping site, she shook in my arms

“y/n i'm scared what if i get picked.”

She said her voice shaky and i could almost see tears about to fall out if her eyes

“Dill you wont get picked i know, i promised your parents no matter what you would be safe. There's only a few pieces of paper in there that have your name I promise.”

I said to her as I brought her closer to me, peacekeepers shoved people into neat lines. I shield her from any of the peace keepers arms.

“Hey dill after this reaping do you want to go to my house to play with my sister Hope, shes been wanting to go to pick flowers by the swamp” i said to dill as a way to calm her spirits, to let her know we would walk out of here fine. She smiled slightly and nodded her head,I was then pushed away by piece keepers to a different line. I was put next to alexa barnette. She was 15, a year younger than me, I knew her brother from school. On my left side was reaper Ash. He was 1 ½ years older than me,when we were younger we were friends but as we got older we just drifted apart both of us getting to busy to be able to hangout anymore. The only time i have gotten to talk to him was whenever he went to the infirmary for injuries he had sustained, he didn't go often but he also didn't go rarely, he went enough time to were i would find myself happy to see him so we could talk again. I turned my attention to the stage when I heard footsteps.

“Hello, hello, reaping day, a way for the districts to get forgiveness from the capital and for one of you to walk out a victor. I hope you're all excited, and may the odds ever be in your favor.”The mayor said his voice was filled with amusement and excitement, the exact opposite of what everyone else in the crowd was feeling.he was dressed in a nice suit that was only ever worn on reaping days, most likely to impress capital citizens. Everyone stayed silent, my eyes furrowed with an annoyed expression and I looked at Alexa who was looking forward at the stage, i then turned my head to reaper. When I looked at him I noticed his eyes were already looking at me but quickly turned to the stage once he noticed that I was looking at him.

“Hm, well ladies first” he stuck his hand in the reaping jar, i felt my hands start to shake as i clutched the cross necklaces in my pocket it was for my sister i was gonna give her after the reaping, my hand brushed some goz and ointment i had brought just incase i was called, from rumors i've heard from listening to peacekeepers from the capital, the capital does not provide the best medical assistance to the district tributes only a veterinarian. Another reason my grandma had been teaching me how to heal and take care of other people. I was wearing matching cross necklaces that were hidden under the layers of my clothes, silently praying that wouldn't be anyone I knew, I shut my eyes to try to pretend like all of this wasn't real.

There was a deafening silence, I could hear “the female tribute is…..Dill” my eyes shot open. I felt like everything around me had frozen, my heart was beating fast in my chest and my breathing became shallow. I tried to find dill with my eyes but they started to fill with tears making it hard to see. I saw movement in the crowd and saw her walk out of her line. My feet started to move before my brain could react

“Dill” i muttered i walked past reaper, he lightly grabbed my arm but I shook it out of his grasp.

“Dill” I said as I walked in the open area, I could see Dill look back at me but before i get get any closer, peacekeepers grabbed me. I struggled in the arms and punched one of them in the head even though it wasn't one of the strongest punches.

“No, Dill please, I'll go, I'll go '' I said i felt tears run down my face. I could see the mayor looking at me with an amused smirk from the corner of my eye.

“I volunteer as tribute, I will go in her place.” i said my voice was loud but shaky, the peacekeepers let me go and i ran towards dill pulling her into an embrace.

“y/n?” she asked if her voice was muffled and shaky as she clung to my form.

“I promised your parents, Dill please tell my sister I love her ok! Look after yourself ok!” I said crouching down slightly to whisper to her, I reached in the pocket of my dress and pulled out my cross necklaces and placed it in her hand.

“You're gonna be ok dill, i promise ok, give the necklaces to my little sister .ok, you promise.” I said to her, she weakly shook her head before she was taken back in line and I grabbed my peacekeepers and pushed up onto the stage. I felt tears well up in my eyes again this time because I realized that I had just signed myself up for a guaranteed death.

“District 11 first ever volunteer, what is your name” the mayor said into the mic, i didnt answer for a second my head was spinning with adrenaline

“(y/n),..(y/n) Lamb” i said with a shaky voice, i stepped away from the mic and lifted my head up to the sky as the mayor picked a name out of the boys box, ‘Lord help me’ i thought, before looking back ahead at the crowd of people

“And the male tribute is…. Reaper ash.” The mayor said, my eyes slightly widened as I looked at Reaper, me and him made eye contact as the peacekeepers grabbed him harshly, they moved him up the stage and he shook them off with an annoyed and upset look on his face. The mayor continued to talk but i couldn't make out what he was saying anymore since in my ears were ringing, it wasn't until i felt reaper grab my hand with his and lift it in the air, i looked at him with a dazed but confused look but all he did was just force a smile. Soon the peacekeepers came and ripped us apart and ushered us to district 11 train station.

They stood with us until the train came and pushed us into a train cart that smelt like animals were held in it at one point. The push from the peace Me and Reaper were silent until we heard the door shut and the whistle of the train once it started moving.

“Why would you do something like that, you've signed yourself up to be killed and you know made yourself a spectacle to the capitol.'' Reaper said his voice was filled with anger and annoyance. I looked down at the ground of the train car as I walked to one of the walls and slumped down and put my hands over my face.

“I know that, but I couldn't let her die. She's just a kid, she's too young to, innocent, she doesn't deserve to be put in these games, no one does.” I said, my voice was shaky but simultaneously confident.

Reaper stayed silent and walked over towards me and sat down besides me, i heard him sigh not out of annoyance but out of defeat.

“What about your sister, she needs you. Your grandma aint doing good either” i looked up from the ground and and looked at him with a confused look, i don't remember in any of the conversations ive had with him recently were i mentioned anything about my grandma’s health.

“How-”

“Word gets around the district y/n.” he said, turning to look at me, he had took of his cap and placed it in his lap.

“well dill's family promised if i ever got reaped they would look after her and our grandma is doing ok right know but… anyways she's 8 so i don't think she fully understands what's happening. I'm not saying it's gonna be any easier for her or dill but.." I trailed off, my eyes wandered around the cart, It was old and decrepit, smelled like animal shit to. There were some holes in the cart that allowed some light in.

“I'm sorry reaper, Can't imagine how you feel, you were almost free from these games.” I said to him as I continued to scan the train cart.

“Yea” was all he said, i didn't push the topic any further, i let the moving train car lull me to sleep. A part of me hoped I would wake up from this nightmare, the other part knew I would most likely die in it.

—---------------- after the long train ride

After a day or so, I honestly couldn't tell but all I knew is that i was starving,the train jolleted to a halt, making me jump up a bit. The cart doors opened and a stream of light poured in. if i hadn't known any better I would have thought I had died and made it to heaven and at this point that's all I had to look forward to.

Reaper jumped out of the car and reached out and help lift me down out of the cart even though I was capable of getting out myself but I appreciated the gesture, I smiled at him and said thank you. I was able to catch myself with the help of a reaper.

“You okay?” he asked

“Yeah, you?” I asked him, and he nodded his head as confirmation. I looked around the train station, it was a lot nicer than district 11, there was marbil everywhere and the trains were a lot fancier than the ones we were put in. i notice other tributes as well, a girl with very short red hair standing protectively next to a boy who couldn't have been more that 12 years old. There was also a boy with one eye open and beside him was a girl with blonde hair and a cloth covering over the top part of her head,tanner and brandy were the tributes names.

My eyes wandered over some of the other tributes that I could see until they stopped on one, from the looks of it he was staring at me before I realized it. When I looked in his directions he turned his eyes to the ground, he had short, dark, short cut hair and was wearing a blue shirt with vest along with some brown slacks, i think his names was marcus.

Before i could look around more peacekeepers started grabbing each of the tributes and placed them into a small car, one grabbed me harshly but was pushed of by reaper, i looked at reaper with eyes that said thank you as i got in the cart, i turned and reached out my hand for him to pull himself. I kept my hand in his as I moved to the back of the cart, I sat down next to a girl with a colorful dress her name was lucy grey, that name i was sure of. Her top had enterically sewn flowers and snakes? her skirt was a beautiful rainbow pattern. The train car doors closed but i noticed a flash of a bright vibrant red hop into the car. I looked at the new boy who clearly was a part of the district, he wore a bright red suit with a matching skirt. It was obnoxious. He had curly blonde hair and big bright blue eyes that nervously searched over the car. He was pretty, but something about him made me uneasy like he was a wolf in sheep's clothing. His looks only played more into the “innocent appearance” I glared at him.

“You in the wrong train, pretty boy?” I looked up at reaper after hearing him say that.

“No this car is lovely” the boy said, before i realized it i saw reaper storm towards him,

“Get him reaper” one of the other tributes said.

“Ill kill you right now” reaper said as he held the boy up giants the wall of the car.

“He’ll do it, he killed a peacekeeper back in 11, none knew it was him” i said looking at the boy.

“Shut up y/n” reaper said, i looked down then back up at the other tributes.

“Why don't we all kill him?” the tribute with red short hair said,her name was coral.

“We have nothing to lose now” said another as he started to get up and moved towards Reaper and the boy.

“You got any family back home, they'll kill them if you hurt Him. And besides he's my mentor ima need him to win.” the girl in the rainbow dress said.

Coral walked over to lucy and leaned down, her face inches away from the lucys. I watched with one eyebrow lifted in curiosity.

“And what makes you so special? Why do you get a mentor and we don't huh?”

Before the girl could answer the boy did

“Everyone gets a mentor to help you win.”

I laughed, turning everyone's attention to me.

“were yall like bribed to mentor us or some'” I said sarcastically and bitterly, there's no way in hell a capital citizen would want to help out the district. They saw us as scum, animals, not even animals, they would treat a rat better than they would treat us districts.

“Well there is a prize for the student.” he said sheepishly, i rolled my eyes and looked away from him and stared at the wall, i tuned out whatever else would be said by the others, that was until the train car stopped and tipped over, the doors opened and i felt myself tumble out of the car, the rocky wall of the zoo hitting me and bouncing me off the walls, i felt other tributes bodies hit me until i rolled on the ground and felt someone wrap their arms around my body protecting me from even more possible damage. When I opened my eyes and let out a groan and slowly propped myself up with my elbows as I felt the arms that protected me almost slither off of me. I turned my head over shoulder to see to my surprise I saw Marcus next to me, before I could thank him i felt someone grab me from under my shoulders and lift me up. I looked at Marcus one more time as he slowly got up, he made eye contact with me and I mouthed a thank you to him. I turned once my feet were firmly planted on the ground and turned around to find a reaper standing in front of me. Out of instinct from taking care of people I grabbed his jaw and turned his face side to side to make sure he wasn't bleeding or had any significant imminent injuries.

“Im fine y/n, don't worry about me ok” he said to try to reassure me, i let go of his jaw and looked down to wipe of any dirt from my dress, i felt my cheeks slightly warm. I slightly stepped back from reaper as i looked up and observed were we were. It was a caged in area with a rocky wall a tree and multiple rocks on the ground and pieces of wood. I noticed people starring at us and the other tributes from out side the cage.

“What the hell?” I said slightly as I shifted closer to reaper, not liking the eyes i could feel on me or on reaper.we stood 6ft away from the fence, a man with hair slick to the side of his hair wearing a grey suit came up to the other side of the cage talking into a microphone infront of a camera

“And here we have the volunteer from district 11” he announced, i looked at reaper confused and I felt him put a protective hand on my shoulder, i look at the man and he was staring at me, i pointed to myself in confusion since i was still in a daze.

“Yes you, not like there's any other volunteers here.” he said with a smirk.

“Who are you?” was all i could say my voice was laced with confusion. The man looked at me with an astonished and annoyed look on his face, the camera man laughed and he yelled at them to shut up, like a mother scolding her children. Instead of asking anymore questions he noticed lucy grey and the capital boy talking to some capital children through the fence and left to go interview them.

Me and Reaper quickly found a place to sit, it was a log next to one of the trees in the cage. My stomach grumbled, I almost forgot how hungry I was with all the chaos going on. I stared off into space as more people crowded to wear lucy was, soon enough capital guards came and took the boy out of the cage.

“I hate this.” i said, i dug my cross necklace out from under the shirt of my dress and fiddled with it, “you could've gotten out of this.” said reaper, he was right i didn't have to be hear unlike him my name wasn't drawn i chose to volunteer in place of dill, in the middle of some old abandoned zoo surrounded by capitalies gawking at me, at all of us like we're animal.

He noticed my necklace that I was fidgeting with, the chain was slightly rusted, it was a faded gold color and the ends of each side of the cross we pointed, in the middle there was a red gem. “How long have you had that?” Reaper ask, i looked down at my necklace,”I think since i was a kid, was my grandmas but she gave me it when i was young.” i said, slightly smiling at the memory, i looked back up at reaper my eyes traveling over him. I was scared, scared for me scared for him, scared for the other tributes, we were all paying for the “sins” that we didnt commit that we were to young to even understand

"You know it will be taken if they see it, right?" Reaper's voice carried a note of caution as he observed the religious symbol I clutched in my hand. My throat tightened, and I swallowed nervously.

"Yeah, I know," I replied, the words escaping in a hushed murmur. Religion in Panem had always been a source of controversy, especially to the Capitol. Remembering the stories my grandmother shared, I knew that after the rebellion against the Capitol, the ruling power took drastic measures to erase any trace of religious identity from the districts. In the wake of the uprising, the Capitol systematically targeted and destroyed religious places—churches, mosques, synagogues, Hindu temples, and other places of worship, it didn't matter what religion it was, if there was any physical symbol of it they destroyed it. Their campaign extended to burning holy books and eradicating religious symbols. While the Capitol didn't resort to killing individuals based on their religious beliefs, they forced practitioners into hiding. It was a subtle but effective method, a means to extinguish any flicker of hope that religion might offer. I always wondered about the Capitol's motives. It wasn't just about eradication; it was a calculated effort to control. By dismantling religious institutions and institutions out side of the capitol in general, the Capitol aimed to sever the ties that bound people together, denying them a source of collective strength. My grandmother had emphasized the Capitol's fear that if religion persisted or if some other form of hope came about, it could potentially unite the districts, fostering a shared sense of hope and unity between people and the district that would threaten loyalty to the Capitol. In the twisted logic of the Capitol, religion was a threat. While acknowledging the potential for radicalization, I couldn't ignore its power to bring people together, offering solace, guidance, and a sliver of hope outside the oppressive grasp of the Capitol. I believed the Capitol despised the notion that if religion prevailed, citizens might cease to see the Capitol and its citizens as godlike figures, and their “unquestioning” obedience could be disrupted.

(shout out to @luckyleftie on tiktok for making a whole vid on tiktok that ispired that inner dialogue.)

slowly people left and the day turned to night, my head started to fall from me drifting in and out of sleep. I looked at reaper who was still awake, slowly a moved off the log and laid down taking off my shall to use as a blanket. I patted the space next to me, under were reaper was sitting. He looked down at me

“You need to sleep. The last thing I want is you passing out on me.” I said with a worried look in my eyes. Slowly he got down on the ground and laid next to me. I decided to share my makeshift blanket with me, i had my skirt to warm myself with since i could curl my legs underneath it.

Morning

The next day came, I woke at sunrise, a habit I had picked up from working as a medic and having to do agricultural work early in the morning. I looked beside me and saw that reaper was still asleep, I studied his face. He looked at peace when he was asleep, his eyebrows weren't scrunched together and his face was softened. I understood why he was upset and standoffish, he never liked the capital, he didn't deserve to be stuck in a cage for people to gawk at. But right now in this moment it seemed that he didn't worry about that, he was in a peaceful sleep. I smiled knowing that he was at peace even if it was for a little. I decided to get up and walk around the zoo, being careful not to step on anyone who was sleeping.

“You an early bird to?” i heard someone say, i turned around and saw lucy gray siting on a rock close to her district companion jessup.

“Yea i guess so” i said lightly. I looked at Jessup and noticed how he seemed to almost shudder in his sleep.

“Is he ok?” I asked as I moved closer to them, her face dropped a bit.

“He’s been like this since we got here, he was bit by a bat on the train hes been shivering all night..” she said, looking at him with worry. I belt down by him

“Do you know where he was bitten?” I asked her while trying to look him over. The fact that he was bit by an animal worried me a bit. My mind immediately went to times where people came into the care room acting wild, their mouths all foamy and they also hated water, they were afraid of water. It was scary to see, I remember one lady who was always so sweet was bitten and she completely lost herself after she was bit, it wasn't immediate but it wasn't slow either. Back in 11 we called it lytta because of the madness it seemed to ensue in people. I felt myself shudder thinking of the memories. I would have to keep jessup in my prayers in hopes its not nothing bad.

“By his ear” she said, her thick appalachian accent coming throught. I realized it was the ear he was sleeping on so i had no chance to look at it right know. I decided to switch to a different topic

“Your from 12 right?” i asked, it wasnt much of a question, i knew the answer but still asked. She smirked at me.

“Yes and you’r from 11, correct” she said more as a statement than anything.

“Yea, whats it like, there in 12?” i asked her curiously.

“Well it depends were you go, if your in the heart of it, were reapin takes place. Its stuffy filled with smoke, but if you go out of there its beautiful its so green and we have lakes and mountains me and my cousin go swimming there along with the rest of the covey.” she said, i tilted my head in confusion

“The covey?” i asked curiously, she smiled with excitement

“Were or we were a nomad group before panem wasd a thing but after the rebellion we got stuck in 12, we sing a lot, my cousin mod ivory has this talent were she can hear one song once and she'll remember it for the rest of her life.” she said, for the first time i could hear excitement in her voice, i wanted to ask her more.

“How old is your cousin?’

“She's 10, a sweet little thing.” she seemed to pause for a moment.

“Who was that girl, that you volunteered for?” she asked me, i looked down and clutched my necklace.

“Her name is Dill, she's sweet, but she has tuberculosis. If she went here I doubt she would live through the train ride. But she's sweet, she's like a little sister to me, and plus her family has always looked after me and my sister.” i said, a fondness taking over my voice as I reminisced about all the memories I had. Before I could say more I felt eyes on me, I turned and looked back to see Reaper up and staring at me, a curious look on his face. I turned back to Lucy and smiled.

“Well i'll go now bye lucy” i said

“Bye y/n'' she said before turning to look through the bars of the zoo. I walked back to where Reaper was sitting and sat down by him. I rested my head on his shoulder, like I used to do when we were kids. Maybe it was a bold move since I felt his shoulder tense up before he relaxed. I closed my eyes and listened to his breathing. I tried to imagine I was a kid again, running through woodsies areas underneath the hot pulsing sun.

“How have you been?” i asked him

“What do you mean?” he asked me in return

“Like after we grew apart, how have you been?” I said to him, he seemed to stay quiet for a second, His mind seemed to be somewhere else.

“It's been… complicated, so much shit has happened since we were kids y/n. I've done some shit that if it got out… well it doesn't matter anymore.” he said, his voice had a vulnerability in it. I understood what he was talking about, I wanted to know more.

“Reaper, ill be honest. You were the one person to whom I knew I could trust when we were kids. When it came to talking about stuff that would get us killed if anyone heard.” I said to him sincerely, I felt his body shift which made my head fall off his shoulder before I brought it back up. He looked at me, his eyes soft. There was so much I wanted to catch up with him about.I wished I could see his thoughts through his eyes, eyes that held so much mystery yet familiarity.

“never knew you thought that.” he said, his face was unreadable.

“Hmm i guess i should make it known know rather than later, who knows how much longer I got.” i said looking at him, i slowly started to look around as i noticed more tributes were now up thought they were a bit dazed. He looked a bit confused by my statement but before he could say anything i continued to speak

“You know, we should try to make some alliances with some others, would be smart even if they lasted for a little bit” i said as i looked at the other tribute, i then looked at reaper a part was for approval the other part was to make sure he was still their and not just a figment of my imagination. He looked around then looked at me his face was hardened and thinking. He sighed for a moment.

“I don't think it would make a difference y/n, whether we made them or not.” he said to me.

“Well we should at least try to be on ok terms with the others, good enough for them to hesitate before they try anything you know.” i said to him, i think i was saying it more for myself rather than anything, reaper could handle himself if he needed to. I doubt anyone would go straight for him unless they were in a group. But I also doubt he would go straight for anyone either. He may have killed a peace keeper but reaper wasn't violent. people here would try to paint him as someone violent, but they don't know him. They don't know any of us.

—---------------------------- 2nd person

You stood up, reaper watched you as you did. Your yellowish cream dress had been dirtied from the dirt during the fall, it had embroidery of different flowers and herbs at the bottom of it, the colors were faded and faint due to how aged the dress was. Some of the embroidered plants were daisies, forget-me-nots, hyssop, pine and purple hyacinth. You turned and looked at Reaper, “what are you doing?” reaper asked, you looked at him and smiled slightly

“I don't know, i think ima walk around a bit, ill be back.” you said before walking away, he watched you intentionally, protectively. He didn't worry too much about the tributes here. But he did worry about the people of panem, he didn't like the way that man in front of the camera tried to make a spectitcal out of you, he didn't like how some of the boys when looking through the caged bars looked at you with eyes that held nothing good in them. He didn't like how Marcus had wrapped his arms around you during the fall. Reaper remembered how he would sometimes get into “accidents' ' when working so that would give him an excuse to go to the infirmary you would ‘work’ at just to see you, to see you worry about him like a lover would.

He continued to watch your figure but noticed that you were talking to someone on the other side of the fence, it was hard to make out if it was a male or female but reaper noticed that the person had the same obnoxious uniform that the boy on the train cart had. He decided to get up and walk over to you, as he got closer he noticed it was a boy with a buzzcut, he had eyes that were sloped down, and he had a sly smile on his face. Reaper walked close to you and was almost right behind, just slightly to the right. It seemed like the boy had noticed reaper and his face had dropped from a seemingly pleasant look on his face to a more annoyed face.

1st person, 10 minutes before—---------

As I got up and walked around I heard someone calling my name. I looked back at Reaper but it didn't seem to be him calling my name, nor was it lucy since she was talking to her mentor by now.

“No, Over here. Behind the fence.” i heard a boy yell, his voice sounded a little impatient but it sounded like he was trying to dull it down a bit. I looked past the caged bars and saw him, he had a buzzcut, he had sad eyes, a seemingly ‘friendly’ smile and was wearing the same loud, bright red uniform that the mentor of lucy was wearing.

“Hello” I said cautiously as I walked closer to the gate, I still was a good distance from him though.

“You are my tribute.” he said bluntly, he smiled a little more and looked at me like he was expecting me to reply.

“Um… what?” i asked him, looking at him with a confused gaze, he rolled his eyes slightly before sighing

“Im your mentor my names Urban.” he this time a little more inpatientally

“Oh, sorry, I didn't know they didnt tell us who are mentors were or that we were having ones. I only found out because of lucy grays mentor” i said to him with a genuine expression on my face. He seemed somewhat surprised by what i said.

“They didn't tell you all that you had mentors?” he asked.

“No they didn't but lucys told us we all had mentors, anyways what are you supposed to do as my mentor.”

“Im supposed to help you win, or at least make a good show. You winning would be the preferable option for both of us.” he said, his tone was undicerniable. I looked down and sighed before looking back up at him.

“Well I can't win if I'm fighting on an empty stomach and no water, Urban” I said looking at him, he seemed to understand what i was saying and smiled slightly. I hoped that he would bring enough food for me and reaper.

“I'll see what i can do-” he suddenly cut himself off and his face dropped to an annoyed look. I looked at him confused, I saw his eyes drift to behind me and I followed his gaze. As i turned i saw reaper standing behind me. Reaper was looking at him with suspicion.

“Hey Reaper this is Urban, he's my mentor. That means you got one too. Speaking of, where is his mentor? " I asked Urban. He sighed in frustration

“She got hospitalized, she should be better before we tour the arena.” he said, my face grew concerned, reaper raised a brow.

“How did she get hospitalized, what happened?” i asked

“I think she was bitten by some snakes, i'm not sure though.” he said, he sounded like he wanted to change the subject.

“Well i have to go to the academy” he said to me before promptly turning his back and walking off. I watched his figure move, it was in a stiff yet relaxed way. I felt a hand on my shoulder a looked at reaper.

“Be careful with him, who knows what the mentors really think.” he said, his tone was warning. I smiled at him.

“I will reaper, don't worry. Out of anyone here i'll listen to you.'' I said, he smiled slightly. He never smiled a lot anymore. When we were kids he used to smile a lot. But as we got older those smiles I loved so much as a kid faded away. I couldn't blame him though, everyone in district eleven had lost something about themselves once they reached the age of ten. I always feared when my sister would turn ten she would lose her love for animals, her love for being her.

“Reaper, I have a question,” I said to him as I sat down on a rock he followed not long after.

“Yea?”

“How come you never tried to be a healer at the infirmary?” I asked him curiously.

“What do you mean” he asked

“I mean, like, you've always cared about people from what I can remember. You always helped people out, you know. I guess it's just that I always saw you as someone who would be a healer.” i said to him, I looked at him and he stared at me, his face was unreadable.

“I didn't really get a choice in what I was put in. even you still had to work outside of the infirmary” he said to me softly. I looked at him and smiled.

“Yea i know, sorry it was a stupid question, i've just always wondered that '' i said, i cringed inwardly at my dialogue.

“Nah it's fine, we haven't gotten to talk much so i don't blame you for asking” he said calmly, he smiled again. We sat there in silence, a comfortable silence. I stared at him and smiled lightly, I didn't know how much time had passed nor did I care. For a moment I was content.

“y/n, im back” i heard Urban yell in a boarded tone, i slowly got up. I felt reaper grab my hand but I carefully removed his hand from mine and sent him a reassuring smile. I walked down to the bars of the zoo and saw Urban holding a small purple napkin. He handed me it along with water in a glass bottle. I opened the napkin and saw a small sandwich with some berries and bread. I looked up at urban and smiled gratefully.

“Thank you Urban, i swear me and Reaper were gonna die of starvation” i said, he seemed to get annoyed from my statement.

“I brought them for you not him.” he said, his eyebrows furrowed. I rolled my eyes and looked at him with a blank face. Instead of arguing with him i decided to play into the capitals game

“Urban, I need my district partner to be alive, you know, so I can win. So you can win that prize.'' I said, a part of me wanted to break the glass bottle the second I said that. Urban had nothing to lose if i lost, probably wouldn't even care if i died besides the fact he lost a cash prize or whatever it was. However Urban seemed to be pleased with my answer.

“Fine, whatever will make you win.” he said with a slight huff. I couldn't help but laugh a little. He looked at me confused.

“Sorry you remind me of my sister, always so impatient.” I said as I caught my breath. This only seemed to annoy him though

“You should be lucky i even brought you anything, that someone like me is even speaking to the likes of you.” he said with a tone ripped with condescension. I stared at him blankly for a second my fist almost clenching around the food.

“I dont even know why your upset and second if you keep saying comments like that to me, i might just kill myself the second i step in the ring. Just to know you would face the embarrassment of your mentie dying first and you not getting any money." I didn't fully mean it of course, but I just wanted him to shut up and take me seriously. At least give me and the others basic respect. Knowing the capital though it would take a lot more than that to be treated with basic dignity. Maybe If they wouldn't treat me like I was human, I could at least teach Urban to treat me like I was human.

Urban just stared at me, he turned and started to walk away. “Urban wait” i said loudly, he stopped and turned around which surprised me. “Thank you for the food and water. I appreciate it, "I said a little begrudgingly. Maybe I was imagining it but I swore I could have seen a faint smile cross his mouth before he shook it away and continued to walk away.

I turned and walked back to reaper who was eyeing me. I smiled and handed him a half of the sandwich. He refused it.

“Reaper you gotta eat, i'm not gonna eat that part so if you don't eat it. it's gonna go to waste. Plus I can hear your stomach rumbling and it worries me. So eat.” I said to him, he tried to protest but I forced the half into his hand. I also handed him the water bottle wich unlike the sandwich he accepted immediately. He took a few gulps of the water before handing it to me. I put the bottle to my lips and drank. I tried to preserve as much water as possible but it was hard. My thirst was almost unquenchable. Soon I put the water down and started to eat my half of the sandwich.

A piece of glass could be herd shattering and before long i heard screams. I looked up and saw a tribute with a broken glass bottle in her hand shoving it into her mentors neck. Soon capital guards started firing into the zoo at the tribute. A bullet nearly grazed me before reaper pulled me and him behind a tree. His arms were wrapped around me protectively while I held on to him like it was my last moments. Soon the bullets stop, I heard reaper mutter into my ear “It's ok”. I didn't know if he was saying that to calm me or himself. But it didn't really matter.

Soon we stepped out from the covering of the trees. The only thing i saw was brandy and her mentor lying on the ground. The people on the outside of the cage were huddled around the mentor. One boy had his hands on her neck as he screamed for help. Then there was brandy. Her body was riddled with bullets and one went straight through her head. Her body bled out on the ground. It took everything in me not to rush forward towards her body. But I was smarter than to risk my life right now.

I felt Reaper grab my hand, I looked at him slowly, tears starting to stream down my face as the full reality of the games sunk in.

------------------------

Im so sorry it took so long, and ill be real second part will prob take long to espichally since i got exams coming up. but trust i will be working on this story and the other story.

#reaper ash #x reader #sejanus plinth x reader #reaper ash x reader #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #lucy gray baird #lucy gray x coriolanus #coral #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas x reader #tbosbas #tbosas

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tibby-art · 4 months

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for the hitman au: curious about mumbo's role and the role of redstone u spoke of mumbo possibly creating a noise-cancelling headset to drown out other people's minds while in public- the thought of redstone being able to affect such an ancient, otherworldly, powerful creature (???) such as a watcher is fascinating. to what extent does it affect the watcher? how powerful is redstone?

im curious as to how mumbo would end up working for the NHO too. (since convex n grian began to work for NHO under unusual circumstances) like, did he have a choice? did he apply for this job himself? and HOW he works for them. is he corrupt? has NHO corrupted him? does he let curiosity push him too far? (hcs8 mumbo was quite ruthless at times) or is he just regular old mellow mumbo?

i'm guessing he genuinely cares about his coworkers and is passionate about what he does, but idk your vision. also i understand if u dont wanna reveal too much or dont know a lot abt his character yet :D

and sry idk much abt convex n watcher lore but im very interested :3

i think it would be cool if Mumbo was able to invent a device that made it easier for Grian to focus without the watcher powers becoming too overwhelming,, I think maybe he could give Grian some sort of small device that could be worn like an earpiece (or even something like a pin or a bracelet) that could let out a high-pitched frequency that's able to disrupt the flow of information that Grian is subjected to with his sixth sense. It seems weird that modern technology could affect a force so ancient, until you remember that redstone is an ore mined from the earth and is technically just as old, if not older, right? 👀

I think what suits Mumbo best for how he ended up being a tech guy at the NHO is that he probably just.. applied to a job for someone who's good with redstone tech and ended up getting tangled up in things much bigger than he'd anticipated. Considering Grian and Mumbo are such good friends, I think they'd get along well despite the circumstances they're in. I don't think Mumbo is corrupt, he's a smart dude and definitely secretly disapproves of how the NHO handles some things but genuinely thinks his work is important because he can use it to help people. He's definitely not immune to getting lost in his research though

#covexian hitman au #asks

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15-lizards · 1 year

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Not sure if you've done them already, but what do you think the mistresses of Aegon IV would have worn?

I yes I’ve done some Here! That one includes Sereni, Barba, Bellegere, and Mellisa (plus Naerys) so I’ll do some more here (also idk if I’ll do Jeyne since there just isn’t much to go off on for her)

Falena Stokeworth is the first mistress, the first to make a “man” out of Aegon when he was 14. Since she was ten years older than him, she doesn’t wear the frivolous fashions of the younger ladies, though you can still tell she spends excessively on fine fabrics and intricate lace. I think she always held some bitterness ab what happened at the Maiden’s Day Ball, and always tried to dress as “elegant and unassuming royalty” . Plenty of embroidered bodices, silk overskirts, lace collars, puffy under sleeves, etc etc. She almost looks nouveau riche as she tries to fit in with royalty

Poor Meg dressed in common clothes for most of her life. As a blacksmiths wife, she wore the proper clothing for her station and work. Her hair was covered in a cap, her clothing consisted of an old shift, a kirtle, maybe an extra skirt and her apron. All made of rough wool and homespun cotton. When Aegon took her, she suddenly began to dress like a minor noble’s wife. She enjoyed light, gentle colors that she never got to wear when she was a common woman. She likes to make all of her own dresses too, small pleats and puffs, pretty bows, and slimmer skirts than the average noble woman being fancy enough to suit her taste. Once she got sent back, she probably took them with her but never got to wear them again :(

Cassella Vaith was probably a silly young girl when she was taken as hostage during the submission of Dorne, and thus adapted to Kings Landing nicely and enjoyed life there. She enjoyed the fine silks and brocades that the ladies wore, but also incorporated her own culture into her clothes, with thin cottons and looser fitting fabrics that caught the wind. She liked pink and cream and gold, dressing more like a frivolous princess than anything else, because Aegon gives her whatever she wants. Even after she gets sent back to Vaith she still dresses like a young royal mistress, even into her old age, convinced that Aegon is her true love and will call her back eventually

Bethany was probably not as eye catching as her elder sister, and her status as a younger daughter meant she was not given as fine clothes as Barba did when she was trying to become Aegon’s mistress. However she was pretty and young and fresh faced, and her gowns were still suitable for a noblewoman, though perhaps not the fanciest at court. Essentially all of this was good enough for Aegon in his old age, and her style did not change much at court besides the inclusion of more detailing and more expensive fabrics. Bethany was disgusted by the king, and probably did not put much effort into her appearance for him, but did for Terrence Toyne, and this sudden effort for a kingsguard was probably what got them found out and executed

#asoiaf #asoiaf hair and clothing #Meg I will avenge you #in my head Bethany is kinda tomboy actually and has a temper and just looked as slobbish as possible around Aegon so he wouldn’t want her

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v3nusxsky · 1 year

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Hello darling

Can you do ladylesso x reader. So it's really hot outside at S.G.E. so idk let's say everyone went to the lake to go cool of including students and professors. Lesso at first didn't want to go but did after sweating bullets. To fine her gf professor in a bikini playing around. Lesso then gets a little nose bleed, dovey who's in an adorable one piece asks her if she's ok. Obviously lies as lesso goes put her feet in the cold water for a sec. She looks over at R again and the nose bleed gets a little worst so now she's trying to get out before someone questions her when suddenly R, lesso professor gf pops up in front of her happy to see her not seeing the nose bleed from lesso. R is bouncing right in front of lesso seeing her boobs, thighs, and bum bounce with R, causing lesso to faint due to that(also because of nose bleed, heat that's outside like what 112 degrees out, also getting horny can lead to heat as well)

So like she ends up waking up in her bed mostly covered with ice cause she was like 101 degrees, happy to see her gf and R happy to see lesso awake

You can decide how it ends or if this ending is ok lol

-have wonderful day

Too hot| NSFW

*Authors note~ this is such a cool idea*

Trigger warnings~ slight sub lesso dom r oral (l receiving) fingering (l receiving)

Prompt~ see ask^^^^^^^

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

The heat wave was kicking your ass. It was unnaturally hot, and it made sleeping impossible, sweat soaked skin would stick to the sheets. That was why you were so glad to hear classes had been suspended for the day and you could all go cool off by the lake. Your girlfriend however was dead against the idea, you knew the heat was affecting her especially with the fair skin and ginger curls, she was most definitely struggling but no she stayed stubborn and refused the request to join you.

You must have been at the lake for maybe two hours before Leonora gave in, it was simply too hot but she would under no circumstances be prancing around in a bathing suit. No. She went in her full attire, trench coat and all. That's when she saw you in the water, sporting a beautiful emerald bikini, maybe bathing suits aren't so bad if they are worn by you.

She felt the warm droplets of crimson liquid fall from her nose and immediately knew she was too warm. How embarrassing! I'm an attempt to hide away from prying eyes she turned away catching sight of how the soft globes of your ass jiggled when you jumped over the make shift waves the students created. The way your beautiful breasts were almost spilling out the cups was enough make Leo want to devour you then and there. However, the added heat of arousal with the already excruciating heat of the weather was too much for her to bare. Leonora passed out to the thoughts of your thick thighs wrapped ever so tightly around her head as you screamed for her.

When life returned to her body, she registered she was no longer outside, and had a very uncomfortable ache between her pale thighs. "Mmm" she mumbled incoherently, trying to piece together how long she'd been out. "My love! Hi" you murmured happy to see her. Lesso bit back a whimper of need seeing your breasts so close to her face as you lent over to feel her forehead. "You're soo hot Leo" you whispered without realising the way that would be taken until after you said it. Leonora captured your lips with hers and instantly tugged your hardly clothed body to hers.

You shifted on her body which caused your knee to male contacted with her clothed cunt. Leonora whimpered into the kiss and that's when you knew what the issue was. "Oh Leo, do you need something love" you teased, adding pressure to her cunt. "Please" she whimpered and you couldn't help by think just how adorable she looked underneath you pleading with you. "Good girl Leo, I'll help" you mumbled against her lips before moving to kiss her neck.

Clothing was shredded in record time as your lips nipped, licked and sucked over her magnificent boobs, the older woman withering underneath you as you stimulated her already scorching hot body. "Please baby, please make me cum" she begged before you settled between her pillowy thighs, taking an experimental swipe of her absolutely drenched folds. The little vibrations of the happy hum you let out brought an extra spark of pleasure. You smothered her clit with kitten licks and light suckles of her clit. "Love, god yes more" Leo whimpered as her hips began to buck upwards to your mouth.

The way her moan cut off when you added a finger into her slick heat was enough to make you clench your thighs together. "God please god need more" she mewled as you started to curl your fingers to hit her sweet spongy spot within her velvety walls. "Such a pretty thing for me arent you Leo?"

"Yours. All yours please" she whined as her hips bucked wildly against your fingers. "Cum for me Leo" you purred before nipping at her thigh. Leonora came with a cry, legs shaking as she struggled to catch her breath while you fucked her down from bliss. "So good for me Leo, do you feel better my love? No more overheating?" You asked voice filled with concern. "Mmmm, so much" she murmured finally feeling a bit of relief. What a bazar way for her to get your attention but you always knew your girlfriend had a flare for dramatics.

Word count~ 972

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #lady lesso #sfgae #leonora lesso #anon requested #lady lesso x reader #lesso x reader #lady leonora lesso #lady lesso x you #leonora lesso x reader #lady leonora lesso x reader #dean of evil #tsfgae

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yuri-is-online · 7 months

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Love how we're both back on our ace shit at the same time <3. Also, I'm getting back into writing (just working on short stories before I get into fanfiction, and am very quickly realizing my flaws T-T) and I'm thinking about working on an 80s aduecyuu au. Yuu and deuce are punk because I'm punk 😗 but for a wider audience I'm thinking of making yuu grunge or hardcore? Something a bit more neutral. Don't know what Ace will be yet. He might get to be generic the 80s asshole jock 😍. Somebody gotta do it ace <3. But Grimm will be a weird ass cat who seems to have way too much of an attitude and seems a little too human?

But yeah. The au is just 3 idoit doing stupid shit, sharing a braincell, trying to figure out where the line between friendship and queer throuple is while trying to ignore the impending scene of dread because a lot of weird shit™ keeps happening in the background.

Also cater will show up at sometime. Don't know when. Don't know where. But by God I will make it happen, and he will be the skaterboy we all know he is.

Idk if lolitas existed in the 80s but if they did I'll make riddle ouji lolita for you ❤ or atleast ouji lolita adjacent

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! GO YOU! MAKE SURE TO TAG ME WHEN YOU DO!! I promise to be only a little unhinged in your comments.

That's the thing about writing. The more you do it the more you realize what you're bad at but that's not always a bad thing. You can't improve on what you don't know needs improving.

Don't pressure yourself to make Yuu grunge or hard-core for wider appeal. I think all twst writers put a little bit of themselves into their povs, so if you know punk the story will probably be a lot easier to write since that's you! (If you wanted them to be different than Deuce and Ace I'd vote trad goth. That style goes so fucking hard and so does their music bauhaus my beloved. Also i guess kind of fits with Ramshackle?) Is this meant to be a sort of classic horror vibes? Because I dig it. I think Stranger Things did us all a disservice by sucking ass and making people think 80s horror should die because it became too mainstream :/

I'm going to put my unhinged rambling about lolita under the cut but oh my God you don't have to do that I'm so grateful you thought to though I've got such a big smile on my face rn cccc;

OK so to make a very long thing short, yes lolita did exist in the 1980s but it didn't really look like anything it does today. It was pretty much all handmade, and though the first brands were around we have no idea what their peices looked like since the fashion wasn't really widely worn or photographed until the 1990s. It didn't even have its name until the 90s. Lolita as it exists today is very much a 90s/early 2000s fashion which is honestly wild to me. As for ouji, it pretty much grew alongside Lolita so that would also be a no go.

Given Riddle's backstory I can't really see him as an 80s lolita. He doesn't seem like the sewing type to me... but there is this one brand that helped influence Lolita fashion called PINK HOUSE that was stupid popular in Japan in the 80s. I'll link you to this blogspot article which is both about the brand and the misconception in English speaking spaces about the term "natural kei" but I think it suits Riddle if you wanted to give him a lolita like vibe. The tl;dr of the article is that it PINK HOUSE and it's original designer Kaneko was a staple in 80s fashion in Japan, and is referred to as just PINK HOUSE or Kaneko fashion. As it lacks the community or aesthetic of kei fashions or lolita it is not considered a part of those groups... which does sort of fit Riddle in a way as his mother isolates him from both 💀

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland #when i first got into lolita i remeber seeing people argue?#about the term ouji vs the term boystyle #because most people in english speaking places called it boystyle? but i dont fully remember why #hmmm if i had to point to anyone in the cast who would be an 80s lolita I'm almost tempted to say rook #i can see him making his own clothes #i once wrote a male yandere who wore skirts specifically so he could keep more knives on him and i can see rook sharing that logic #gl with your writing friend i hope you have fun with it!!!

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another-corpo-rat · 1 year

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✨️TELL ME ABOUT YOUR OCS✨️

Template by @vincentmatthews | Find it here!

I am. quite proficient at rambling, so I'm putting this under a readmore as to not clog the tags

Name Victoria Elizabeth Delilah Crane

Nicknames Blondie, Queen Victoria (both are ill-advised)

Age 42 (in 2077)

Pronouns She/Her

Sexuality Bisexual

Hair Color and style Blonde, typically worn in a bun.

Eye Color Gold (optical implants)

Height 5’11 without heels (is never seen in public without heels)

Body Type Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry- (Idk how to describe her body so here’s her ref instead)

Personality There’s a particular type of cruelty that tends to shine in the corpo offices; the one with a sweet smile and sharp eyes that spot a struggling co-worker from across the room, the sort that promptly step on them to climb that little bit higher – Victoria Crane belongs among that ilk, she climbed high off her mother’s shoulders and then higher still off the backs of those she was kicking down.

She has a ruthlessness hidden under a thin veneer of niceties, and with no shortage of pride since she’s good at what she does.

Tattoos None

Piercings Lobe piercings, only wears earrings on nights out.

Any definable features such as: Birthmarks, Scars, Freckles, Beauty Marks, Accent when they talk, Lisp, Natural slurring of words, Walk with a subtle limp, ect. VERY in-your-face cybernetics, including her gold arms and neck, but also smaller features on her cheeks. Her accent is also distinct in Night City (she was raised in England; I have no idea where specifically yet – but she definitely has an upper-class way of speaking.)

Hobbies She commits crimes against humanity in her free time Usually messing around with quickhacks, modifying them to suit her needs if not theory-crafting new ones with the input of other netrunners on forums. In truth, she struggles to have a hobby that’s not tied to her work in some way; even her reading materials are non-fiction research about brain functions and the like. At most, the biggest disconnect between them is her penchant for anything about maritime disasters.

Someone get this woman a romance book goddamn

Gang/Occupation {Mox, Max Tac, etc} Arasaka netrunner (working under Smasher, currently)

Do they smoke? Yes

Do they drink? Is so, what's their poison of choice? Also yes – as long as something doesn’t have tequila in it she’ll likely finish the glass. If ordering for herself, she defaults to a mojito.

What do they usually wear on a normal day? Usually a suit of some kind, her entire wardrobe is full of them. If someone tells her to ‘dress casual’ she’d look at them as if they have two heads. Her idea of casual is still ‘dressy’ by most people’s standards.

What do they wear when they "Get dressed up"? And what would be considered a "special occasion" to them {such as an "Oh they're gonna be there so I have to look my best." Or an "It's our anniversary".} Getting ‘dressed up’ for corpos is sort of a way to show off, peacocks the lot of them. Victoria included. She favours dresses for those sorta things, low neckline, high slit up one of the legs – gotta highlight the assets, y’know? Normally the dress is a simple enough piece so she can put sparkle on in other ways.

As for what she’d consider a special occasion to get particularly fancy; she honestly doesn’t need one. She dresses for herself tbh.

What do they smell like? {For example: they smell like cinnamon flavored liquor, cigarettes, leather, and motor oil.} There’s the constant vague lingering of caramel smoke around her, courtesy of the smoking habit. As well as that, her favoured perfume smells like daffodils.

How do they walk? Do they sway their hips? Do they walk with a sense of determination? Do they bounce as they walk? Etc. She has that murder strut; shoulders down, chin up, glaring at anyone who steps in her path.

Are they more of an early bird or a night owl? Definitely more of a night owl; she’s far happier to stay up to ungodly hours and doesn’t mind getting to watch the sunrise when she’s already up anyways. Comparatively, waking her up early is like poking a bear. Don’t talk to her, don’t look at her. Don’t acknowledge her existence until at least 8am, please and thank you.

If you had to use one word to define them, what word would you use? Awful

What words or catchphrases do they say that's unique to that character? Not certain if it counts, but she’s likely the only person who has been able to call Adam Smasher ‘Tin man’ to his face more than once.

Favorite Season Summer

Favorite type of weather {Thunderstorms, sunny, etc} Sunny, just the type of day she can sit out by the pool and soak in the heat.

Do they have someone they're with relationship-wise? If so, who? Incredibly self-indulgent but I have put her in a relationship with Adam Smasher. Theirs is not a healthy romance, but it’s sure af is a fun one to write.

Main Ship/Pairings Victoria/Adam Smasher

Side Pairings None at the moment!

Favorite/Self-indulgent Pairings The main ship is def both of these things tbh

How do they show affection to their loved one? Gifts, gifts, and more gifts, with the occasional peck on the cheek. The more she loves someone, the more thoughtful their gifts will be – stuff they mentioned needing or wanting even offhandedly is stored away for her to spoil them with later.

How do they sit in a chair? She sits favouring the right side, elbow propped up against the armrest, chin resting on her own knuckles, with her knees pressed together if her legs aren’t crossed.

How do they sit in a chair {uncomfortable version} When she’s engrossed in processing info she pulled from the net, she props herself up on a chair like a damn gargoyle, squatting with her back curled as she hunches over a screen. (She tends to do this in the dark too – so please imagine opening the door into a dark af room and seeing a hunched shape poorly lit by a dimmed computer screen. If you make the slightest noise her head just snaps in your direction, her eyes glowing as she stares. Unblinking even as you slowly back out and close the door behind you.)

What do they wear to bed? A satin slip night dress. Because she has to be fancy even when she’s bouta sleep I stg-

How do they usually sleep? {Side sleeper, back, fetal position, backwards, nest sleeper, blanket mountain, etc} She falls asleep curled up on her side, tucked into herself. She tosses throughout the night (RIP to anyone resting beside her you WILL get kicked or smacked across the face) but will wake up in the same curled up position she fell asleep in.

How do they sleep in a place they don't know? {Can't due to anxiety, in small bursts of sleep that are short lived, holding themselves, etc} It might take her a little longer than usual to fall asleep but generally she has no trouble sleeping in places unfamiliar to her. Her rest would be more readily disturbed if the mattress isn’t soft enough or if the pillows aren’t the right height.

Do they have to have a form of "white noise" in order to sleep? {The sound of a fan, the sound of rain, the sound of a city, etc} Not at all, so long as she’s not cold she can sleep fine.

What's a place they go to feel comfortable, that's their "spot" they always go when they're upset? The Ebunike. Usually she’ll plop herself on the shitty little settee that’s up behind the ship’s bridge / opposite Smasher’s secret office and smoke. It’s far enough from the Arasaka offices and things that tend to wind her up that she can just let herself settle.

What do they do when they're nervous? {Fidget with jewelry, pick at nails, bite nails/lips, play with knife/zippo lighter, etc} She’ll put pressure on her lips somehow. Usually this takes the form of just simply biting/chewing the bottom, but occasionally she’ll press her knuckles against her lips – both for the pressure and to hide an anxiety that might come through in her expression.

What is their "tell" for lying? While she is scarily good at faking sincerity and keeping it going for quite a long time, she does have this little smile when someone accepts a lie she’s fed them – if she’s particularly proud, there’s an added little glint in her eye that observant folks can pick up.

What is their favorite color? Despite being decked out in gold implants, she actually really likes pink. But she’ll be damned if she gives Smasher the chance to add ‘Barbie’ to his list of nicknames for her.

Favorite flower/plant Stargazer lilies, even if she can’t keep them in her home anymore courtesy of Nibbles.

Favorite sweet of choice She will kill for strawberry liquorice

Do they have any pets? If so, tell me about them She has a naked little fiend running amok in her home. Nibbles (full name Peaches Nibbles Crane) – who she loves and loathes in equal measure (“Of all the things, you had to choose lilies to be harmful to you?”) In truth, much as she gripes and claims that Nibbles is an ugly little thing that’d be dead without her, Nibbles has very much become a source of comfort that Victoria doesn’t think she could live without – and yes, she is looking into ways to extend the kitty’s natural life. She spoils her rotten.

What are their triggers {If they have any}? If so, what calms them down? The continuous sound of crunching bone triggers a panic response in her – black at the edges of her vision, brain feels fuzzy sort of thing. She hasn’t found a fool-proof way to settle herself after, but she knows for certain what DOESN’T calm her down (someone trying to physically comfort her through touch, especially rubbing her arms is a BIG no-no.) Usually she finds a corner outside to smoke, and she makes an effort to find the loudest space she can; the quiet doesn’t help.

If they could visit anywhere in the world, where would they go and why? (I need to preface that this is ENTIRELY headcanon/I have done no research into the lore for if something like this exists but-) There’s this exclusive hotel off the coast of Crete that is entirely underwater. It’s built in a way that its ‘grounds’ allow guests to walk close to ancient ruins and a few shipwrecks (one of which is actually quite a new addition; a submarine that sank a few years prior, and despite its proximity to the hotel rescue efforts didn’t get there in time to save the crew and their bodies were never recovered. It was initially going to be removed as it was considered an eyesore, but guests asked if their premises would be expanded to reach that wreckage instead.)

Victoria was there before the submarine sank, and she’d love to get there again. Especially since she’s heard rumours of the campaign to recover the bodies finally, she wants to see that.

What is their favorite comfort meal? Hot toffee pudding

Do they have a food they hate? Pork. She has never had it prepared in a way she’s liked, so she just avoids it entirely.

What is their favorite {non-alcoholic} drink? Caramel Frappuccino

What are their plans for the future {if they have any}? Her plans for the future are up in the air at the moment; she’s learned to stop trying to plan her life around Smasher who is a tremendously large influence considering he’s both her input and who she works for directly.

(Things are further complicated when she nearly dies and is put into a Gemini conversion frame. Her contractual obligations to Arasaka just got a few more decades added to it, so there goes the early retirement she’d been saving for.)

What's a song that "fits" them? Angel of Small Death & The Codeine Scene - Hozier

Give me 5 facts/random bits of information about them > She was a designer baby! Her father’s side of the family had some medical issues that her mother didn’t want her inheriting, and while she was at that genome editing appointment Marion also made some other changes – for example, neither of Victoria’s parents are blonde but she wanted a blonde daughter so she got one.

> Hoards information like a dragon does gold, she’s modified her Kiroshi optics to sync with her own database so she can have an individual’s name, likes, dislikes, and any spec of blackmail she has on them ready at a glance.

> Mildly obsessed with maritime disasters. While she has a load of information saved in databases, she doesn’t need to access them to talk at length about even the most obscure shipwrecks. Her ‘comfort’ media is actually an old documentary about the HMS Erebus and HMS Terror and the hunt for their wrecks. (Yes, I am working my own hyper-fixations into her interests.)

>Tying into the prior point; Victoria’s favourite piece of art is The Raft of the Medusa by Théodore Géricault. She is seething at the fact that the original was purchased and is likely in someone’s room in the Crystal Palace. (Never mind the fact that she owns the original of Landseer’s Man Proposes, God Disposes.)

> She has a Midnight Lady implant but doesn’t have any of their extra accessories at the moment – none of them really appeal to her.

Give me their backstory {can be long, or brief.} I haven’t thought her backstory entirely through yet, so here’s a rough timeline of events I have so far for her (incredibly loose and undetailed lol) 2035, born in Night City. Her mother takes her to England at six months old. 2051, started an internship in Arasaka’s European branch at sixteen years old. Her notably high scores in netrunning meant she was basically told that’s what she was doing – initially, Victoria had wanted to get her foot into the PR department but she wasn’t going to argue. Internship continued until- 2053, graduated from Arasaka’s private academy at eighteen and starts a counter-intel apprenticeship. 2056, apprenticeship completes and she goes into full-time employment in counter-intel. 2058, transferred to the American branch and sent to Night City. 2064, officially meets Adam Smasher for an op Two weeks after that op is officially marked as a success, she’s transferred to work directly for him. Sometime after 2077 > almost killed, becomes a ‘borg herself. (Gemini frame)

Free Space! Give me any sort of extra information about them you'd like to share Some development information! Victoria used to be very fucking different when I first made her; she was a street-kid, had purple hair and piercings, I dressed her entirely different and she was a rude lil shit but something about that didn’t vibe with me – I couldn’t think of a story for her beyond what the game was offering. So, I made some changes.

First was starting a corpo file for her, which felt much better. Her hair changed from purple to the pink-blonde combo, and story-wise I was thinking that when she was tossed from Arasaka, she became an information broker, had her own little crew surrounding her. Which is an idea I still like but it didn’t feel right for her.

So, kept at the corpo file – played along, and slowly just pieced Victoria together in a way that I felt fit her. Someone who stays with Arasaka, awful but has the means to protect herself from any feathers she ruffles.

She’s still a work in progress, like I need to sit and think through how the events play out with her, since she’s technically a V who went off-script well before the events of the game. But I much prefer her now compared to as she was.

#cyberpunk 2077 #Victoria Crane

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its... its... its marchm.... its march OFF anon... u can keep calling me march if u want. or rowan.. im not picky.. i have many names.. i keep writing these when im very tired and i get super rambly,, forgive me..

idk i think enemies to lovers is just .. i get too angry... when they're actually enemies.. im the type to REALLY hold a grudge and like. file away every single wrong done to me.. and i cant help but also do that with fictional characters. yeah i swear im healthy... i swear... YOUD DO THAT FOR ME?? and how ... how could i ever repay u.. but actually do whatever u want!! i do Not Like telling ppl what to do LMAO because i hate it when its done to me (i might have a bit of pda autism). if u did hanyagellan fanfic for me i would be eternally grateful and probably Die. but if u didnt i would be perfectly fine :)

i forgot kidd doesnt really appear much til wano .. i read wano ages ago so he is just like . a permanent member in my brain now. i think of him and luffy and law as a trio and then i remember that wait.. it was only luffy and law for the longest time... anyways hes awesome. he definitely has tits to rival zoro. and killer is also awesome.. i love killer. in my head killer is a very nice sweet guy. and then i remember his name is apparently massacre soldier killer. and that kidd and his crew murder innocent people. and its like oh right ... theyre not just.. funny little guys ... they're evil funny little guys... also kidd is SCOTTISH?? imagine him with that accent. wonderful. perfect. it suits him so well.

ive seen t4t frobin and i do Love it. i do.. i also love tjem as just wonderful allies. idk either way theyre lovely

i also read on tcbscans!!! i dont really read the comments all that much (shockingly, because i love to read comments on other platforms) but IM SO GLAD!! UVE HEARD IT!!!

oda has..... a Problem.... looks at mitsutoshi shimabukuro and nobuhiro watsuki. (pedophiles he has supported) anyways yeah it's like . its .. its so disgusting. i loved kyros so much and like . it was ruined!!! it was ruined for me!!! WHY in my favorite arc. i think its valid to count shirahoshi. there is literally no reason to make it so the underage characters are supposed be attractive. they did it with rebecca too,, like she couldve easily just worn leather or something under her armor. but she didnt. shes supposed to be sexy. as a 16 year old. and actually it gets worse later in the story!! so look forward to that!! /s

MORE TONIGHT HELL YEAH!!!! (by the time i finish writing this u will probably have already read the chapters LOL). i actually adore chiffon and lola (i saw u talk abt this so..) and i also think its bc theyre not meant to be attractive. oda can only write women well when theyre not supposed to be sexy (im exaggerating bc nami and robin are well written, its just. theyre not as dynamic and interesting after the time skip). also i Love bege and chiffons weird little baby . he has stubble . wonderful. i love that bege baby talks to him unashamedly. an actually good father in one piece?? its rare but it DOES happen!!

i actually watched the first episode of the live action today!!! and yeah i decided i do NOT like mackenyu's acting as zoro. i dont really blame mackenyu for it bc i assume its an issue with the producers or writers or whatever wanting to make him more badass,, but i kind of cant stand it. he has the cool guy vocal fry.... i hate it... i hate that. i looked up videos of mackenyu in like. regular settings! and he seems like a genuinely cool person!! i think if he could channel his regular energy into zoro more.. it would be perfect . i would say that is the perfect zoro. to be fair though he could relax a bit with the cool guy thing later on in the show and i just don't know it yet bc i only watched episode one (holding out hope that thats what happens). overall . besides my issues with zoro being too cool n serious and monotone.. it was actually really enjoyable!! the kobylu moment where theyre stargazing together?? hello??? hello???? for the record i dont really ship kobylu but i do enjoy the ship.. does that distinction make sense.. i hope it does. and also zoro has freckles. i cant get over that... freckles ... he has freckles.. there r a few choices i didnt like (that i cant remember rn) but it was a fun watch!!!!

I WOULD SHOW U BUT . BUT ITS JUST .. ITS JUST HER HEAD .. I DIDNT DRAW SHOULDERS OR ANYTHING... i just wanted to get down my most basic of ideas .. i swear the moment i draw a fem sanji im happy with.... u will see her.

haha.. so dada.. and . abrina.. am..abro.. abromava.. marina abromavia.. abromavic of him . yeah. so dada and marina abromavic of him . ok but i looked up marina abromavic and!! "rest energy" i know that one!! (thats all i know.. though dada looks familiar)

i love the secret freaks

"[eyebags the size of dinner plates]" is so funny,, i always wanted to move house as a child . just once. i thought it was very cool and trendy when people in my class said they were moving. and also i didnt like my neighborhood (i still dont). i know now that moving is not what i had thought it to be. as a child.

very soon!! (now)

i definitely played games online as a kid but i also like. was on websites i should not have been on (deviantart) as young as 10. my old youtube comments arent that bad to look back on, sometimes theyre kind of funny, but i imagine finding any of my old accounts on any other website would be very upsetting 😭. i dont know if i ever deleted my accounts or if theyre all still out there . for me to come across at any time. (though i doubt i ever will, considering i havent in the 10+ years since)

i also try not to put anything else out there, but sometimes i (stupidly . very stupidly) decide to just. not care that much. i have just accepted that people have probably found photos of me as a child online (not that i remember posting anything from before i was like 15 but. still) and i. just live with the constant assumption that i am being watched. im a very paranoid person sometimes so i know if i stress out about whatever is online about me it will literally turn into an existential crisis

uhh thats all kind of (really) heavy sorry about that!!

tbh with anime... betrayal is always possible. i started an anime called usagi drop a few years ago and then stopped because i. got bored? maybe? and whoops, turns out they have a romantic relationship. thank god i dropped it

i was actually looking up vocaloid stuff yesterday.. learning The History (i was watching kaito x gakupo mmd's) and i found out nyan cat?? was vocaloid?? originally?? and the version that got popular was utauloid?? i used to play 10 hour nyan cat videos on the tv. this was a monumental discovery. i love finding out that niche internet communities are like . the beginning . of a huge internet meme.. its seriously so interesting. plus i recognized a lot of older popular vocaloid songs!! i had no idea it had seeped so much into my life . without me knowing it.

i was kind of tempted to go see kikuo and bo en live!! im kind of?? a bo en fan?? i listened to that song that was in omori before omori was out (i still dont really know what omori is) and i like a few other songs by them but im not really someone who likes musical artists. i just like a few songs,, or one song,, from an artist,, and then nothing else. i do like quite a few of kikuo's songs though!! most of all i was just tempted bc the timing was right and i noticed they were coming to a city nearby. didnt end up going bc i couldnt justify it!! did u have a good time!? also i saw the miku expo experience,, in portland.. where they just got what was visibly just,, a tv. even as someone who is a Beginner vocaloid fan.. that is so disappointing

my aphantasia isnt really that bad and its not something i notice most of the time, so it doesn't really get in the way. i kind of think it might help me in art because i dont get stuck on the blank canvas part, trying to picture what to draw? idk ive heard a lot of ppl talk abt that being a struggle. i just jump right into it since i cant come up with anything most of the time anyways. other times tho i can picture things very clearly.. i think part of the aphantasia is just that i have autism. and adhd. and i cant concentrate well enough to picture things a lot of the time, especially when i actually want to. most of the time the things i successfully picture are involuntary

i dont know why they dont anymore but no!! they dont!! i havent actually tried to look up the reason or if this is a permanent thing. i should.. it might also just be that its not being scanned or its not included in digital files.. idk . any number of things. ok i checked and i found a translation on reddit of the volume 107 sbs, but its not in the tcb scans . so i have to assume its just that they dont have the scans for the sbs, and oda is still doing it consistently?? either way its not easy to find

oda canon skin tones should be IGNORED.. too boring... as for the women. he has literally devolved. nami and robin pre timeskip... come back... please.

i get posts u reblogged from like. the beginning of march.. sometimes.. that feels like ages ago... i actually want to interact with a lot of the things u reblog bc theyre good.. and half of it is stuff i mean to reblog anyways but havent. but i dont wanna spam u. and i definitely would spam u. on accident. but still..

idk if u use tiktok at all (i didnt used to but i have been zoomerpilled or whatever the kids would say ..) but there was an audio that got pretty popular that's like. "you can call me anything! you can even call me dookie! ...... NEVER CALL ME DOOKIE!!" and THAT WAS IVA IN IMPEL DOWN!! anyways watching that scene in impel down as a kid.. was very influential. it probably is why i identified as genderfluid for a bit?? i had never really seen any trans characters before or met any trans people in real life. so when i saw . trans characters. i was like wow... u can do that? thats allowed? it was mindblowing. picture me with big sparkly eyes full of wonder.

"transgenderism is a thrilling character trait" is extremely funny wording. i think he HAS done some research (it shows in his most recent trans characters, my issues with yamato aside) but when he made the newkamas.... yeah.... i dont know if he really thought about what kind of life experiences they would have. as trans people. or whether he was even portraying them well. it really was just "hey this would be a funny character.." and then there they were.

i love all 3 of the fishman princes and actually i am very thankful the other 2 (i can never remember their names... ryuboshi and.. something.. sorry guys..) arent just like . The same character copy and pasted. but i agree!! that moment broke my heart. u poor kids :(. ive never seen d gray man so this was probably (?) my first introduction to noahs ark in . anime,, manga. im rly excited for whenever the scene will be. where everyone boards.. and .. idk .. is led to the dawn of the new world.. or whatever they say is supposed to happen

YEAH I WANT TEENAGE CHOPPER!!! he can still be a wholesome guy but please .. please.. treat him a LITTLE BIT like .. a teenager.. the teenager he is. i love horn point chopper . i wish we could see all his forms a bit more. i also wish for more chopper angst like .. i loved when they fought aokiji right before water 7 because it had a really great chopper moment. he was directing the other crewmates on what to do and it was so high tension and emotional,,, i miss that.

ok i agree zoro getting lost is timeless. i see jokes abt it everywhere and i dont even mind. i didnt like nami's slapstick joke in the beginning but ive kinda become neutral about it. i dont find it funny but i dont dislike it either. brook panties joke is gross ... gross old man. but i thought it was very funny when he asked camie for money because she didnt have any panties. making him from a creep into just a pathetic old guy would be funny imo. actually i do like brook's skull jokes mostly bc theyre so lame. im a fan of jokes so bad theyre good. and now 80% of the time he gets ignored... and i find that funnier. ill laugh at ur jokes brook.. i swear... ill laugh.

literally the whole setting of water 7 was so interesting and cool and . i adored it. the aqua laguna,, part of the city being underwater bc the water level keeps rising. the canals!! the water horses!! its all so fun. i actually do love the frobin moments in enies lobby, and i love kaku, and i love the "i want to live" moment, but other than that i dont have much i found super exciting.. oh and the moment with the merry at the end of it. that broke me . why give me hope and then rip it away from me!! oda always does this. /pos though.

what about,,, sanji except he wears colored contacts sometimes just to confuse the crew. "your eyes were brown yesterday what the fuck happened??"

"[clanging my sanji gavel] order in the court" SANJI GAVEL,,,, THATS FUNNY

"if there’s multiple types of conqueror’s haki it it like..all based on one guy? one original conqueror ?? and who was it…" ough ur so smart for this.. i never considered that..

zoro is Definitely favored with op stuff. i do think he is usually considered second mate so its like... kind of fair imo? but at the same time... yeah... oda could spread the wealth a little. make everyone else have more development rather than just focusing on zoro.

i see ur shanks argument and i counter with all humans are ugly sometimes.. that picture is fantastic though hes really ratting it up

cora and doflamingo are so giant .. and they came from 2 very normal sized parents. maybe its their diet...?? no but.. they were extremely poor for several years... idk one piece is so wild. like what do u mean geko moria is just a regular human. hes not even a different race... he just grew like that.. i think its funny to imagine the evil characters feeling awkward because they dont have a seat and just .. crossing their arms and pretending to be cool. i didnt see that doflamingo post but i looked it up and he really is like a cat. birdcat.. catbird.. sitting right in the middle.

i dont know if i ever have moments where i think "luffy wouldnt do this" because honestly i dont think im very good at character analysis. i really struggle to feel connected to and like i understand people or characters,, maybe its just because i tend to assume theres depth where there might not be. or maybe i just severely underestimate myself LOL. but i do 100000% agree oda should take notes from his own character... like luffy is so non judgemental and. idk. hes so easy to aspire to be like. everyone could benefit from being like luffy or having someone like luffy in their life. i completely agree that he doesnt acknowledge? accept? understand? gender roles. and this is why luffy is genderfluid /hj. but yes i get u!!!

im so glad we have come to a mutual understanding about cannibalism. i am joining u.

THE LUFFY IMAGE.. ok im coming

ok ur headcanons..

i headcanon lesbian sanji . until i see sanuso... and then... i lose all strength in my beliefs .... sanji is a transfem bisexual and she is dating usopp. <- i find it funny that im like that bc i was hardcore like "sanji is a lesbian." "i wont ship usopp with anyone bc of kaya" (i dont like shipping characters when i think theyll end up with another character bc i am very sensitive to disappointment) and i have thrown my beliefs out the window bc i love sanuso so much. also do u have a screenshot or anything of the sbs question bc i dont remember seeing that /gen. i want to see.. i want to see the bisexuality with my own eyes...

i agree zoro is gay. i also have recently been converted to the zoro is transmasc .. train? what . u know what i mean hopefully. i also dont ship zolu bc luffy is hardcore aroace (and if i shipped him with anyone it would be koby as a mostly one sided thing) but they do have a fun relationship and i enjoy seeing zolu content.. tbh im not picky abt shipping most of the time as long as it isnt proship. most ships im just like "i understand the appeal" and dont have many feelings beyond that

lesbian nami is so true. i understand it after rereading.. i see the gay in her.

i think i mentioned t4t frobin earlier in the post but yeah,, even as cishet allies theyre wonderful.. good people. cute couple.

i see straight usopp and i also see bi usopp. no matter what ,,, he likes women for sure. i also saw transmasc usopp and i actually love it.. transmasc usopp.

brook could be anything tbh. i dont really have strong opinions abt his sexuality but i enjoy bisexual brook. its even alliterative!!

chopper is a reindeer... a BI, TRANS reindeer

ok ur too educated and cultured for me... i know zorro and rudolph and pinocchio but i honestly dont know the rest. i live under a rock and dont usually bother to learn about new things (unless its like. current events. or any of my niche interests)

i actually adore rudolph though and yeah when i realized chopper is rudolph . i was very excited. the rudolph the red-nosed reindeer from 1964 is my favorite christmas movie ever. i genuinely adore it. also im pretty sure the person who made that movie is lgbtq and purposefully put lgbtq themes into the movie. i always felt a connection to rudolph bc my child mind thought of him as trans and gay without really realizing that was what i assumed him to be lmao. i dont remember if the lgbtq themes actually involve rudolph himself but thats who i identified with as a kid and i will stick by it. anyways that is why chopper is transmasc and bi in my headcanons haha

uhhh uhhhh.. to end the message..

OH SHIT OFF ANON!!! do u know how funny it would have been if u came off anon and i was thinking u were a completely different blog somehow. i would have cried

ur reasoning for not liking enemies to lovers is very valid but i laughed thinking about zosan making out or something and ur just standing there like NO…..YOU SHOULD BE ANGRY,.,...KILL!!!

i really doubt i will have the time to write hanyagellan but it sounds so novelty and fun that IDK MAYBE SOMEDAY N FSVNF DC

I HAVE LITERALLY TALKED ABOUT HOW KID LAW AND LUFFY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAIN 3 OF THE WORST GENERATION BUT ITS MOSTLY JUST LUFFY AND LAW AND THEN KIDD’S THERE LIKE 🧍”me and you and you and me and you and your friend steve”

i have only really seen fanon killer which yea does not give the murder of innocents vibe but you know what. thats ok sometimes silly happy little guys are just murderers and thats ok- no i literally did not. realize kids crew did that. LMFAO well i like doffy so clearly this isnt gonna change much for me. but scottish kid…thats fuckign PERFECCT …KIDD….KID MY BELOVED

oh yeah oda’s weird pedo tendencies are uhh 100% my least favorite thing about him. the sexualization of the 16 year olds usually makes me have to pause for that day and come back later cause it just ruins it for me. WHAT DO U MEAN IT GETS WORSE 😭😭😭 NOOOOOO

ur absolutely correct btw. abt how his well-written women have to be ugly. dnf,mvcd like yea nami and robin exist but they have been a bit sidelined in terms of development meanwhile the characters that are both sexualized and well written…i can barely pay attention to their writing bc it feels undermined by the intense sexualization.

bege’s baby is terrible. irs terrible i hate it. but it makes me laugh so hard. although bege doing the baby voice and cooing over his baby was very cute and i DID love that LMAO

RIP MACKENYU ZORO…YOU TRIED I GUESS..yea i think the showrunner was maybe thinking too much about post timeskip zoro while also trying to amplify his coolness and it just came off as. trying way too hard. i think he has a few better moments but also the Too Edgy moments continue so its a mixed bag. though zoro’s characterization seems to be one of the major criticisms ive seen across the board so maybe they’ll lighten him up for season 2. also koby is so perfect in the live action. him and luffy are adorable. i dont ship it either but i can see the vision. they were damn cute ps. they had exactly one f-word pass for season one and they gave it to zoro but like. in the most hilarious throw away line ever. however this means in at least one piece of one piece canon zoro has said fuck.

trades you hanyagellan fanfiction for the transji drawing (im kidding, dont worry abt it!!)

“haha.. so dada.. and . abrina.. am..abro.. abromava.. marina abromavia” luffy trying to pronounce the name of someone he doesnt care about be like

oh yea i definitely have a million accounts on random website that like. i dont even remember. once i tried to see if there was some kind of website or plug in or tool to put in your email address and find any accounts linked to it so i could delete them but i didnt really find what i was looking for which is crazy. like i have a fuckin nico nico douga account from when i used to watch vocaloid videos on there. the website is entirely in japanese. insane

and about the "heavy" internet stuff NO UR GOOD im in a similar boat and i just. choose not to think about it too hard. blissful ignorance

YES YES IVE HEARD OF USAGI DROP. FOR THAT VERY REASON. I THINK WHEN YASHAHIME STARTED AND WE DIDNT KNOW WHO THE MOM OF SESSHOMARU’S CHILDREN WERE EVERYONE WAS LIKE PRAYING IT WASNT RIN INCLUDING ME BUT I REMEMBERED THAT RUMIKO AT ONE POINT MENTIONED LIKING USAGI DROP AND I WAS LIKE. its so jover you guys

“i was actually looking up vocaloid stuff yesterday.. learning The History (i was watching kaito x gakupo mmd's)” KSDNNLKSM

yea!! nyan cat was an utau called momo i think? the nyan cat creator is actually here on tumblr lmao. i found them a couple years ago and was like holy shit… @ prguitarman. also the vocaloid oliver voices puppycat in bee and puppycat! and a vocaloid song actually mde it into a MARVEL MOVIE?? that one fucking sent me. its this one and it isnt even just miku whos the most mainstream its like. so many of them. we’re doing it u guys

yea most of my favs are the classics!! i could link my vocaloid megaplaylist but its. long. i only went bc i was like ‘THIS IS MY ONLY CHANCE TO SEE ANYTHING LIKE A VOCALOID CONCERT IN PERSON KIKUO MIGHT NEVER COME TO THE US AGAIN” and i had to have a friend drive me all the way to chicago for it (I Dont Live In Chicago) but it was worth it. i had one of the most fun times of my life lmao. i was JAMMIN. ive heard about the miku expo thign lmao. i think its bc miku is at coachella this weekend (?) or whatever so they might have taken her hologram tech there instead. LAME!

my other friends with aphantasia are artists as well so clearly it doesnt stop yall 💪 i do struggle with the blank canvas part lmao. but mostly i think i just find starting to be the hardest part of anything.

i think 90% of what oda says should be ignored LMAO. MY STORY NOW!! half joking. maybe a little more than half. when the live action cast talks about how much they respect him and how cool meeting and talking to him was i almost feel bad bc he seems like a kind and goofy guy a lot of the time, but oof, man really needs to evaluate his biases…

tumblr putting posts from early march on ur dash..

why does it do that. i hate that it does that. sometimes i post things and then purposely bury them with other posts so no one sees. TUMBLR PLEASE JUST SHOW MY SHIT IN ORDER

feel free to spam me i do it to other ppl all the time and i dont care at all lmao

I DONT USE TIKTOK (i did for a couple years in college but not anymore) BUT I . DFJNDKL. I ONLY KIND OF KNEW ABOUT THIS BC MY FRIEND SENT ME A REEL OF IT ON INSTAGRAM BUT I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS PRETTY POPULAR??? THATS SO FUN LMAO I LOVE IVA. THEY DESERVE THE FAME. ivankov being ur trans egg break is so weird to me bc it feels so recent but yea impel down came out in 2008 or 9….and also like. do you think oda knows. what he did. KDNFSJ if they bring sbs back (?) u should just sent in a letter like “oda thank u for showing me ivankov u made me realize i was nonbinary 👍” i wanna see what he says fkjvndkj

just now realizing how funny "transgenderism is a thrilling character trait" is thank you for that HAHA. i think he has done at least a little now (and iva is apparently based not only on dr frankenfurter but also a drag queen he knew irl?) but yea back then he needed. uh. a bit more. funny character was pretty much the extent of it. i mean he treated bon clay fairly well from all the way back in alabasta but sometimes i think about how bon clay’s jacket just says “OKAMA” on the back and it can. sometimes be considered a slur? i mean. would i wear a giant jacket that said fag on the back……yes duh. but like tHATS NOT THE POINT, and not everyone is okay w that!!

i remembered manboshi but not ryuboshi. 2gether we can remember the fishman royal family LMAO. god what was noahs ark supposed to be. i think it was supposed to take all of fishman island to the surface?? maybe. but i feel like it was more plot relevant than that. like poneglyph’s and gold roger were involved somehow. idk man im trusting oda to fit everything in before he ends the dang manga

i forget about the camie scene EVERY SINGLE TIME and EVERY SINGLE TIME i expect him to say panties and when he says money i always LOSE IT especially bc in the dub he sounds like mr krabs in that moment 😭

speaking of the water horses can we talk about how franky’s were named SODOM AND GOMORRAH. KDSFND. i made a comic about it that was probably too niche for most people to understand bc u have to have knowledge of dorian electra and also drag race and also the fact that those two random animal characters were named sodom and gomorrah.

SANJI WEARING COLORED CONTACTS TO FUCK WITH THE CREW XFKDJ. i can see him doing this but only to zoro. to piss him off. usopp’s in on it probably

i need a damn sanji gavel. someone on twitter goes by “ceo of sanji” and everyday i am jealous that i did not think of it first

people (dudebro powerscalers) always talk about whether zoro or sanji is stronger and i know oda has said/implied several times that theyre supposed to be different but equal but i mean. there’s quite a few small hints that zoro is supposed to be stronger. imo. as a sanji fan i must admit this. i mean making him taller by only 1 entire cm post timeskip. oda u were evil for that

“maybe its their diet?” its the crack cocaine - KJDNFSDO no that wouldnt make sense for cora but yea why. why are they so tall. i really think its just the weird way the world works. again i will blame gravity. bc im in the middle of big mom’s backstory rn and shes HUGE but ?? apparently not a giant?? SHE WAS JUST BIG??

tbh im not the best at character analysis either. i just read/watch/consume a lot of it and then parrot what i heard other ppl say to some degree (if it was supported by the text and had evidence and didnt seem . wrong. like i still evaluate it) but im bad about doing it myself. truthfully this probably stemmed from all those vocaloid videos i watched as a kid with insane strorylines that i always had to just go to the comments to have them explained to me. the songs being in japanese did not help 💀

i am not a multishipper bc i commit hard to one thing so i dont like most other sanji ships but sanuso gets a pass bc its very cute. lesbian sanji is beautiful. and yea im a little picky but as long as it isnt proship! go for it!!

i will do you one better and give u a link to the SBS + a translator who looked at the question.

AND IM THE SAME WAY i dont think its bc im sensitive to disappointment (well. i am actually but. in this case thats not the main reason) but because i like to think of the closest way i can get what i want with it being…realistic. thats the only reason i dont HC every single strawhat as gay in some way cause i was like i know oda would not. but i can meet him halfway. oda hear me out. 50% WE CAN DO 50%

TRANSMASC ZORO HITS SO DIFFERENT I AM WITH YOU THERE. part of it may be one of my closest friends is transmasc and has loved zoro forever so in my heart im like. yes. zoro is trans. for my friend. but also ive read quite a few trans zoro fics (i’d link them but theyre all zosan. Im Sorry) and the twist it puts on his relationship with kuina…is so cool. actually i take it back, just read this summary from neonglaceon on AO3:

JBSHJDKS IM REALLY NOT THAT CULTURED TRUST ME. if u havent seen the matilda movie…u should its a nostalgic childhood movie for me. its got danny devito…yea. and i only know cyrano de bergerac bc i saw it performed at a local university and goddd it was my first time seeing live theatre and i was. ENTRANCED

YOU KNOW WHAT? YEA. TRANS GAY RUDOLPH. HE’S AN OUTCAST LIKE US OK!! i will take any allegory for someone being an outcast/social pariah and be like “oh so gay allegory? so gay coding?”

ok but t4t frobin and chopper their little trans son…stop thats so cute

so glad to see u can send images now. i will close off by asking 1. any fav op content creators/artists/blogs?

and give u this image

#asks #replies #march anon #but ...urnot anon anymore #aarghstop #long post

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thebreakfastgenie · 1 year

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'sometimes you do' for the WIP asks! (I may just know it under a different name but taking a gamble!) 💜

You know idk if we have talked about this one!

This was also one of my earliest MASH WIPs! Things have changed around a lot as I decided whether I wanted to include certain things in the same fic or branch out. This is the current version.

Shortly after he gets home, Hawkeye goes to see Tommy Gillis's parents. There's a bit about how Tommy's dad treats him as a man now, in a way he never did even after med school, because he's been to war. Tommy's parents give him Tommy's manuscript, which was returned to them with his other personal effects, and ask him to do something with it because they don't know what to do.

Hawkeye wants to finish it and publish it, and ends up publishing it as is, with an afterword explaining how he knew Tommy and what happened to him. He decides he needs to talk to someone who both met Tommy and was in Korea, and ends up going to see Trapper, who hasn't spoken to since he left. This is tense but it goes well. He publishes the book without telling anyone else from the 4077th, but he sends a copy to Father Mulcahy because he was there when Tommy died and did last rites.

He also talks to Amy Clark, his teacher friend from Letters, so I can develop the dynamic between his childhood friends a bit. In this fic, Tommy was gay (though his relationship with Hawkeye was always entirely platonic on both sides) but it only comes up briefly. I wanted to portray the grieving parents a bit.

I'm not sure quite where it ends up, so this might not be included, but I do imagine BJ sending him a letter like "uh you wrote a book??" I don't really want to get into the "does BJ know about Tommy" question in this fic, although in my head he probably does not (and neither does anyone else from the 4077th who wasn't there in season 1).

A bit from the beginning:

The first people he sees by choice are Harold and Alice Gillis. He knocks twice—they never replaced the doorbell after Tommy hit it with a baseball—and waits, studying his washed-out reflection in the glass pane of the Gillises’ storm door. He didn’t wear his uniform, and he wonders briefly if he should have. He hates the idea, but he thinks maybe it would be the appropriate thing to do, and he hates himself more for thinking it. His clothes are neat, but they’re old, and self-consciousness stabs at him in a way it never used to. A suit might be worse than the uniform, and he’s not sure he has one that fits, but still, he could have taken more care. Anyway, it’s too late now; he’s standing on the porch in an old flannel shirt and he can hear footsteps approaching. The door opens and Mrs. Gillis throws her arms around him, pulling him down, crushing him against her shoulder. His lungs fill with her cloying, rosy perfume—Tommy had helped his father choose it, one Christmas, and she’d never worn anything else since. His world is her set gray hair, the fuzz of her pink sweater, for well over a minute. She pulls back, finally, but she doesn’t release him; her fingertips dig into his biceps. “It’s so good to see you,” she says hoarsely. She’s already crying. More footsteps, then a man’s voice: “Well, Alice, aren’t you going to bring him inside?” Harold Gillis stands in the doorway, hands in the pockets of his corduroy slacks, yellow shirt neatly tucked in and buttoned all the way to the neck. He still combs his hair the same way he did in the thirties. Except for a few wrinkles, he’s exactly he way Hawkeye remembers him. It’s strange to see them this way—made up, in cheerful colors—grieving, but not bereaved. It’s been over a year, he realizes, since they buried their son. Time moved differently in Korea, where a year seemed to pass each day, and each year seemed over in minutes. He’s glad, suddenly, that he didn’t wear a suit, that he didn’t dress like he was going to a funeral. He missed the funeral, like so many other things.

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glitchdollmemoria · 1 year

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big long diary esque ramble about jewish conversion below the cut bc mmmm the paragraphs

its sinking in that now that im finally settling into a synagogue i feel comfortable in, im gonna have a community i can celebrate the holidays with, and i can actually learn firsthand how to celebrate them... really fucking exciting

i dont know when ill be able to actually officially start the conversion process, both because im flat broke and idk how much everything would cost AND bc this synagogue is still looking for an official rabbi rather than guest speakers (transitional period since the last rabbi moved away), but in the meantime i feel like im very quickly being taken under the congregations collective wing yknow? so im excited to start celebrating jewish holidays with other people who know what theyre doing rather than having to cobble together what i can while i sit in my apartment lmao

overall im really really happy to finally be attending. its been way too long since ive been able to regularly attend a congregation. and this one is a conservative synagogue, and ive only ever attended reform synagogues before. the one i went to back in my old town was great, i adored the people there and the way we worshipped and everything was so comfortable, it was absolutely where i needed to be during that time. but based on my research and my experiences so far, im fairly confident conservative is the movement for me. this synagogue is definitely where im meant to be now, and my thoughts are basically... while my partner and i do have a plan on where we want to live someday, thats still years down the line most likely, bc im poor and hes in college, so im HOPING that this synagogue will be the one i attend throughout my conversion. i mean id be fine with starting here and having to transfer rabbis later but im mostly hoping ill be finished up before that time comes

theres something very familiar about this congregation. something in the grain of the wood, and in the worn out books of the library. its comfortable and welcoming and it tells me this is where im supposed to be, at least right now.

also - i keep thinking back to when i attended the reform synagogue in this city. the service itself was great, but i didnt really feel like i fit in with the others, especially the people my age. one of the other 20-somethings said that the people at the conservative synagogue were all "boomers" or smth who were unaccepting in some way or another, and idk if she had her own bad experience here which i really wouldnt want to brush off, but so far everyone has been very kind. i was immediately welcomed once i explained that im wanting to convert, multiple people went out of their way to help me and invite me to stay longer and attend more events. i was immediately regarded as a man, and maybe that was because i was wearing a suit and my voice is deep from hrt but it was still very reassuring either way - an older man told me very firmly to put on a kippah and while i joked with my friends that i felt like a kid being lightly chastised, it was still a really nice feeling to not only be seen as a man but to have someone insist on me following that custom.

and then afterward, over lunch, i was chatting with the other congregants and ended up talking about my partner, and referred to it with multiple pronoun sets and explained that it uses any pronouns. nobody was rude at all about that fact, and one man was clearly a little confused by me switching around words and pronouns but was very very obviously doing his best to be respectful and understand as best as he could. he said he was working on understanding these things better for his kids iirc.

overall i feel like this synagogue is a safe place for both myself AND my partner, should it ever visit and want to attend with me. yes, most of the people here are elderly, but everyone was friendly and so far people have been respectful when it comes to queerness and conversion. id say the worst thing i heard someone say was a small dig at reform judaism, but even then, another member was quick to shut him down.

it frustrates me a little to think that the people here might be getting labeled as intolerant in one way or another if thats not really the case, if its just because theyre older. again, i dont want to brush off any bad experiences someone else mightve had, but i also worry that there might be some preconceived notions at play here, yknow? but i guess in the end theres not much use dwelling on it. im just happy to feel at home in a congregation again, and to feel like im back on track making more progress toward my conversion. im glad to be meeting all these people and finding my place in a community instead of feeling so isolated so much of the time.

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viviennevermillion · 3 years

Text

What casual clothes the Twisted Wonderland cast would wear

@ferny-bread made a post asking what kind of modern clothes the Twisted Wonderland boys would wear. So here's my 2 cents on the topic

Ace Trappola: Ace buys a bunch of affordable clothes in good quality that falsely make him look like a rich person. A lot of shirts but without a tie, he always leaves a few buttons open. Suit pants. Casual blazers. Polo shirts with the logos of famous brands but they're fake. The only expensive thing he buys are fancy watches.

Deuce Spade: Deuce buys very basic, single-colored t-shirts, sweatshirts and hoodies and usually wears a leather jacket on top of it. Always wears jeans and some type of sports shoe. But since we know of the pink leopard print outfit there's def some weird stuff in his wardrobe.

Trey Clover: Trey's outfit of the day is either "normal" or "Vil would teleport me to the 9th circle of hell if he saw me like this". There's a 50/50 chance he'll show up in regular pants and simple t-shirts and outdoor jackets but there's also the possibility you'll see him walking around in a cardigan his grandma, who can't knit, knitted for him and it has the largest threads and patterns mankind has ever seen and you close it by tying a knot into it. Or he'd wear those v-neck shirts for men that have this terrible white piece of cloth in the v-neck for no particular reason and it has stripes in colors that don't fit together at all. His shoes are cool 9/10 of times though

Cater Diamond: Lots and lots of college jackets and bomber jackets. Lots and lots of simple white t-shirts under said jackets. A ton of trendy, colored sunglasses with cool gradient colors. And a shit ton of cool baseball caps. Something like this:

Riddle Rosehearts: Riddle's mum is a Karen and a control freak and his clothes radiate exactly that, after all she buys them for him. Sweater vests. Polo shirts. Neat shirts with a perfectly done tie. If he's feeling dangerous today he dresses like Nick Wilde.

Leona Kingscholar: As a Leona simp I'd like to fulfill all of our dreams and say he dresses like a biker because it'd look absolutely gorgeous on him (I mean he already slays in the Savanaclaw dorm uniform) but we all know Leona has a terrible fashion sense so I gotta say he'd dress in a bunch of colors that hurt to look at, don't fit together and have patterns that people haven't worn in years. Basically his outdoor wear. He also always wears accessories. The rest of his outfit may suck but his necklaces, bracelets and rings sure don't. He manages to look like he buys all his clothes in a thrift shop but they're all expensive from famous brands. Also Leona might never be king of the Afterglow Savannah but he'd sure as hell be king of ugly sandals. I'm not even talking about his school uniform shoes, literally imagine the ugliest sandals you can think of; Leona would wear them unless they're colorful and tacky. Half the time he runs around in these tho:

Ruggie Bucchi: Three words - Vargas Camp Ruggie. If you ever went to a public school when you were like 12 or 13, chances are there was this one kid who dressed like Vargas Camp Ruggie. And if Ruggie wears casual clothes that is exactly what he looks like. He wears this type of scarf all the way from autumn to early spring and he has a bunch of hiking boots and owns jackets and bags that scream "ugly but practical". He'd wear everything the Jack Wolfskin online store has to offer except that he's too poor to afford brands like this so they're all fakes from beyond the border of the Afterglow Savannah that he found (or stole) on tourist street markets.

Jack Howl: Jack's fashion sense radiates "I'm young, athletic and in the military". Owns a lot of clothes with camo print. Lots of Cargo pants. And tank tops. He always runs around in tank tops except for when it's really hot which is the days where he won't wear a shirt at all. He also wears those metal necklaces you always see soldiers wear in movies idk if they have a specific name. Apart from that he wears typical sport clothes.

Azul Ashengrotto: It's Azul. Like, what do you expect, of course he dresses exclusively in suits. He also owns so many different fedoras it's insane.

Jade Leech: Nothing special, lots of basic black pants and single-colored cashmere sweaters. A bunch of turtlenecks too. But the fabric of his shirts always ends up being soft as hell.

Floyd Leech: See, Floyd is a wild card. You cannot possibly pinpoint a style for him because you'll never know what he shows up in today. It could be something perfectly fine like his outdoor wear but he could also greet you in platform crocs and a fur coat.

Kalim Al-Asim: Kalim is the type of guy who combines traditional with modern clothes. You'll always see him wear something traditional from the Land of Hot Sands, be it a shirt or an accessory etc. but he usually combines it with typical modern clothes. Kalim has a fairly good fashion sense so it always fits together well.

Jamil Viper: Same as in canon. Several variations of school uniform Jamil and PE Jamil. Ton of accessories. Sometimes single-colored shirts and bomber jackets. A lot of outfits that radiate "crying in the skatepark at 3am"

Vil Schoenheit: Another one you can't pinpoint but in a good way. Not only is Vil always up to date with the newest fashion trends, but he's a trendsetter himself. He casually wears so many different styles and he loves fashion in general so he doesn't settle for one specific style. Fact is he always slays. He usually wears heels though.

Rook Hunt: Hats. Rook wears pretty basic outfits which just draw more attention to his large variety of extraordinary hats (he does this on purpose). He owns anything from cowboy hats to Bavarian hats to baseball caps. And of course berets.

Epel Felmier: Ever since Chapter 5, Epel's wardrobe only has two types of clothing - "cute and frilly" and "dangerous person with knife who'd sell you drugs in a shady alleyway". He either dresses like the most adorable person you will ever meet or like a total delinquent.

Idia Shroud: Gamer and weeb merch. Large hoodies. Shirts with uncomfortable close-up shots of the faces of anime characters. Otherwise pretty much what he wears in canon.

Silver: Lots of denim stuff. Simple white t-shirts with colorful symbols and print on it. Nothing special but he's pretty fashionable.

Sebek Zigvolt: Idk why but lots of suit pants. Also Sebek owns so many comfortable hoodies istg. He loves sitting down in one of these and read a book. He also has a lot of turtleneck shirts. In winter he wears long trenchcoats and scarves out of wool. He also owns fake glasses for fashion purposes (and to look smart)

Lilia Vanrouge: Lilias fashion sense is about as good as his cooking skill. He will legit just go to a thrift shop and throw a bunch of things he likes together, no matter if they fit or not. You know how the people in the music video to Thrift Shop dress? This is what Lilia wears.

Malleus Draconia: You'd expect a guy who has no idea about trends or modern human society and who spent most of his long life locked up in a castle to be an absolute disaster when it comes to fashion but the thing is, Malleus is a strategic buyer. He knows he already struggles to blend in with humans and he's perfectly aware he has no idea what modern fashion trends are so he buys stuff he's already seen people wear at school. Simple t-shirts. Hoodies. Blazers. Suit pants. Shirts & ties. Sneakers. Cardigans. But as he's used to from Valley of Thorns traditions he buys all of this in all black so he definitely looks like an emo while being unaware of what an emo is. He does look fashionable though. He also loves long af big scarves (wrap them around him he'd be so happy)

I also made a tier-list of my judgements of their fashion

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littlemisslipbalm · 4 years

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“you make me so angry sometimes”

idk if this gif makes sense, but i feel like it will if you read the story, it just gives me that vibe.

A one shot I cooked up idk, it’s about Harry and a makeup artist on DWD, it’s quite angsty, idk how that happened, it’s also very long, idk how that happened either, maybe i do a part 2, maybe i don’t idk lmk. Feedback is appreciated, not proofread. REBLOGS help writers tremendously and i love reading whatever you write in the tags its my favorite thing!! Love yall and Merry Christmas!

Word Count: 17.7k | Warnings: ENEMIES to LOVERS! swearing, angst!, some anxiety -like self-doubt, yn being mean to harry kind of a lot, i dont remember, nothing too crazy, Nick Kroll?, lots of conversation

When she pictured herself as a makeup artist in Los Angeles, she hadn’t pictured exactly what she was doing right now.

She had expected doing gorgeous makeup for gorgeous actresses or doing wildly fun stuff like in Euphoria. And because of that she had worked her ass off to get where she was today. She had practiced for hours, worked countless hours for free, and networked to the cows came fucking home.

So why the fuck was she using tattoo-strength concealer to cover up the maybe 60 tattoos some asshole musician turned actor had all over?

Don’t Worry Darling was her first major film to work on so she couldn’t complain. She was happy to simply be there. Well she had been. The first day she had showed up 15 minutes early and had worn her favorite power suit she had. It was dark navy with a white lace long sleeve turtleneck underneath. She hoped to look fun but professional.

Hollywood was all about impressions, especially first ones, even when you’re the makeup artist. She had quickly learned that she was one of six makeup artists. One of them being the friend who had helped her get the job, Angie. Angie was like her surrogate mother in Los Angeles that she had met on her first film job for something much less high profile than Olivia Wilde’s second directing project. Her braided grey hair and fabulous jeans had drawn Y/N right in and they had connected instantly.

Since Y/N was deemed the most inexperienced by the head of the makeup department, she was relegated to easier jobs: assisting the other artists on main characters sometimes, mostly dealing with minor characters touch ups (and full make-up if she was lucky), and the job nobody wanted: tattoo coverage.

Harry Styles was one of the leads for the film and besides his minimal acting, everyone knew he was a worldwide rockstar. With the rock and roll life starting off as a popstar life at the ripe age of 16, he had amassed around 60 tattoos in the past decade. Impressive by her standard normally. She usually counted herself as an appreciator of tattoos and their art, finding them similar to makeup and the self expression that came with both forms. Especially since she had a few of her own, but when she walked into Trailer #6 and saw a good amount of Harry’s tattoos, she wanted to murder every artist he’d ever been to.

She had to make an inventory the first day of all of his visible tattoos when he was just wearing boxers. He had been friendly, trying to make conversation, but as the time wore on, they both grew tired and silent. She had to write down the location and a description of every tattoo and as he took off everything but boxers she grew more and more annoyed with his random and dumb tattoos. Some of them were amazing, the eagle, the anchor, the butterfly, and the ferns were probably her favorites. But some of them, she couldn't hold back her rolling eyes and annoyed expressions. The “Big” on his right big toe, a miniscule lock, almost everything on his inner left arm (the packers logo, Pingu, etc.)

She traces at the rose and the ship and then flips his arm out to reveal his inner arm to her gaze. “That is a big fucking bee.”

He snickers, “Y’like it?”

She ignores his question. “For god’s sake, someone is needle happy,” she said as she examined his left arm, taking note of every permanent drawing.

He shrugs his right shoulder, uninhibited by her prodding. “Dunno, beginning to regret some of them.”

“I would hope,” she mutters, scribbling on her paper the various ones she had just seen on his arm. Next was his ribcage ones.

He scoffs, “Oi, it’s not like you haven’t got any.”

“How would you-” She looks at him wide eyed.

“Right…” he takes his right hand and pushes her hair past her ear to reveal three little red line butterflies following the curve of her ear, “There. At least.”

She huffs and knocks his hand away from her. Her hair falling back into its place.

“Maybe some located in a few more intimate places I’m guessing from the red rushing to your cheeks right now.”

“Can you just let me do my job,” she says, not giving in to his teasing or sparing him a glance as she feels his intense gaze on her face. She was studying his left rib cage where a few cool tattoos happened to be.

“You at least have some taste or persuasive artists because not all of these are shit,” she speaks again after just the sound of her pen on the paper filled the trailer.

“Gee, thanks,” he laughs unamused and rolls his large green eyes.

She thought he had some of the biggest eyes she’d ever seen. But she also knew to keep that to herself because he’d either take it as a compliment and think she was noticing him too much or he’d take it as a massive insult and get her fired.

His right hand taps at his thigh, tapping a rhythm she didn’t care to pay any attention too. She just wanted to finish the stupid inventory of the stupid tattoos on this stupid man.

“Take those off,” she says to Harry, looking back at her clipboard again, filling up quickly with her notes.

He stands there, staring at her stubbornly. He was entirely bored with this exercise, especially since his company was some of the worst he’s ever had. She spares him a glance when she doesn’t notice any slipping off of the colorful sweatpants he’s wearing.

She arches a brow at him, her pen tapping impatiently against the paper. “Go on. Can’t imagine you want this to go on longer than it already has.”

He rolls his eyes again, slipping his thumbs into the waistline of the pants and tugging down. Simultaneously, he toes off the dirty vans he seemed to wear everywhere. The fabric pools easily and he steps out of them and discards them on the couch behind him. He’s actually wearing black briefs. She chooses not to notice anything further than that.

“Socks...can stay on,” She tries to say as he begins to peel one off. He stops midway and nods.

She flings his shirt to him, not needing to see his naked torso for another moment, “I know you’ve got some feet and ankle tats, but I also know that you won’t be wearing anything that will expose them. Thank your lucky stars that I don’t have to makeup your feet.”

He catches the shirt easily and slips his arms inside before tugging it quickly over his head and over his expansive shoulders. The ferns disappear out of sight.

“Well then we’re almost done then. Just got the knee ones -”

“And the tiger. That’s gonna be one son of a bitch,” she sighs and examines his legs, not bothering to crouch.

“What the actual fuck dude?” Her tone is exasperate and like she would rather be anywhere else than here.

“I’m sorry?” He sputters, hands on his hips and eyes bewildered.

“Yes. No. Oui. Non. Who are you?” She rubs at her eyes and shakers her head.

“S’a little rude.”

“You’re right,” she semi-rushes out at his serious tone, ready to apologize. When a grin spreads over his face and he chuckles under his breath she really wants to smack him upside the head. He was exhausting. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Thought it was funny at the time. Kind of think it’s even funnier now since it’s got you all mad.” He leans over her shoulder to look at her notes and when she glances at him unhappily he just looks smug.

“Alright,” she finishes the scribble of a description and clicks the end of her pen, “All done. You can get dressed. I’ll see you bright and early for tattoo makeup. It’s gonna take about an hour to do all this, just so you can mentally prepare for that.”

“It was nice to meet you,” he attempts at a friendly and professional farewell. “See you tomorrow…” he trails off as he watches her turn on her heel and walk out of the trailer door swiftly. The door swung shut and bounced a little bit in her wake.

Harry sighed and adjusted his clothes and hair in the mirror. After a moment he shakes his head, an even louder sigh escaping him.

“Good morning!” She greets happily, walking into the trailer without a knock. Well-rested and happy at least that she doesn’t have to just inspect a body, she looks around the trailer.

She realizes no one is there and she’s taken aback. First of all, if Harry wasn’t there then he shouldn’t have left his trailer unlocked. And second, he was fucking late, the fucking twat.

She grumbles, setting her coffee on the countertop. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “In through the nose, out through the mouth” she mutters. She knew this was a big opportunity and having a big star like Harry in her corner could make her career. She needed them to get off on a better foot today.

“Good form, I’d say relax the shoulders a little more,” the door swings open carrying the California twang-British accent that she would soon become all too accustomed to.

Harry points at her shoulders and narrows his eyes regarding her in the trailer. She offers a strained smile through the mirror and Harry sets down his personal things on the couch.

“Alright, well let’s get started shall we,” she smiles and turns to him, gesturing to the swivel chair next to her.

He nods, a twinkle in his eye as he regards her. He’s unsure of the tone and attitude she’s giving him today. She had been feisty yesterday, cordial at times, but mostly biting and witty. He had liked it. It had made the whole ordeal bearable whereas now she seemed to be laying it on a little thick.

“Just your hands and neck today,” she says, pulling out the makeup materials needed and a checklist of the tattoos she needed to make sure were invisible.

“Should only take..a little under an hour today. Just gonna remind you now though, other days we won’t be so lucky.”

Harry chuckles under his breath and rolls his head around his shoulders before sitting in the chair. “Were you tired yesterday?” He inquires.

“Why do you ask?” She throws a glance over her shoulder at Harry. He’s begun slipping off his sweatshirt and yawns as he does it.

“You seem different from yesterday and I’m just wondering which one is the real you.”

She continues working about the room and rolls her eyes to herself, “I’m always the real me. I come no other way, but this morning I woke up and thought ‘this is the job you’ve fucking wanted for ages, so stop being such a bitch so you don’t get fired, you prick’.” She pauses and turns to face Harry. “The ‘you prick’ was directed at me, that was still part of my thought,” she adds.

He throws his head back and laughs. Then he nods, still laughing lightly, “I get that. Sometimes I’m just so in my head and yesterday I was just so fuckin’ bored. Sorry if I got on your nerves.”

“Don’t mention it.” She waves her hand at him nonchalantly.

Then she moves to inspect his hands and notices the lack of rings, unlike yesterday when she had to make him take them off.

“You have amazing cuticles,” she notices and mentions without any pretences. Harry mutters his thanks, pursing his lips as he watches her work.

She stops her inspection and places the clipboard on the countertop in front of them.

“Could you take your necklaces off? I need to cover up half of the swallows and the years, for when you unbutton your shirt a bit.”

He wets his lips and nods, hands going to fiddle with the clasps behind his neck. He slips off one of the necklaces with ease, a yellow eye beaded necklace that he lays gently on the countertop next to the clipboard. Then he takes his cross and pulls it over his head, no clasp needed.

“Could I put some music on?” Harry asks after five minutes of Y/N working in silence and Harry only being able to stare either at himself, her work, or nowhere.

“I can,” she stops her work for a moment, “Can’t have you messing up the makeup before it sets. Otherwise I’d have to kill you.” Harry can’t be sure if she’s joking or not. Therefore, he was intent on not messing it up.

“Any requests?” She stands at the counter now, instead of seated on a stool working on Harry's left hand.

He shrugs, like he hasn’t got the faintest idea about good music. She refrains from rolling her eyes once again because she feels herself in a test. She wets her lips, sifting through different things in her Spotify and then lands on her playlist titled “it’s your song” named after Elton John’s song. It had some other musicians, a mix of Queen, Bowie, and more and she was sure she would pass the test.

She presses shuffle and She’s Always A Woman by Billy Joel begins to play over her laptop. Harry nods pleased and she wants to shake her head at him.

She can’t hold back the scoff though after a moment of going back to finishing his hand.

“What?” His British accent thickens with his annoyance growing.

“Nothing,” she chirps, intently putting the final touches on his wrist.

“Seriously. What?”

She stands and sets down the makeup. “Can you unbutton your shirt?” She made a note to herself that from now on she’d have to have him take his shirt off before setting to work because if his hands got messed up she’d have to start over. Thankfully he was already wearing a button up this morning.

He stares at her, offering no movement, just inquisitively waiting for her to respond to his original question.

She shuts her eyes, taking another deep breath and then bites at her lower lip. “It’s just...you’re so easy to read.” She fears adding anything else and moves towards him with the makeup hoping to encourage him to unbutton his shirt.

His right hand deftly pulls at the buttons as he regards her. His eyes are intent on her, she can see him clearly calculating her. Her green paisley button up tucked up into the back of her bra leaving a splay of her stomach. The semi-balloon sleeves cinched at the wrists leading to her slightly ringed hands. The oversized blue jeans that have no holes, just a tiny patch right next to the left pocket. The frayed ends of the pants laying over her rather pristine white old skool vans.

The Boxer fades in as she waits for him to finish the unbuttoning of the shirt. He’s still staring at her.

“Am I?” He finally inquires, voice pitched higher like he doesn’t believe her.

She gives him a serious stare and leans over him and adjusts the collar of his shirt. She adds paper towels to avoid makeup on his clothes.

“Yes!” She laughs, “And you don’t even think so, which is like...of course.”

He hums, tilting his head back as she sets to work on covering up the swallows. He wiggles his hands that now both rest on the arm chairs.

“I don’t see it.”

“Of course you don’t,” she glances at his face, their eyes meeting for a moment. “You’re Harry Styles. Everyone is in love with this image you created for yourself and it has just enough of your true self that people feel like they really know you, but you also maintain the illusion. So you think you’re this mysteriously amazing, not like the rest guy, but you are just like the rest of them. Obsessed with yourself and rich so you’re deemed eccentric rather than crazy for all the extravagant shit you do. So when you want me to play music and don’t offer any suggestions I know exactly what music I need to play for you to like me.”

“I feel like that last part says more about you than it does me,” he quirks a brow at her, straining his neck to look at her face as she continues to work.

She flushes, his response both better and worse than she expected. She had gotten a little carried away in her response and she had no idea why. She truly wasn’t one to go off on people so easily and especially not with someone she hardly knew, but something about Harry had her on edge. She was just thankful he hadn’t gotten mad at her response, instead he took it in stride. Further proving her point that he was extremely smart and did things purposefully and she saw right through it all.

She grumbles, “It says that all anyone has to do to get close to you is understand the smallest bit about you and you’ll let them in.”

“That is just so completely wrong, Y/N, I hate to break it to you.” It’s Harry rolling his eyes now, unable to move much more of his body as she continues painting on the concealer to remove his tattoos for the movie.

“Fine. Enlighten me on what I got wrong.”

Their argument had all but drowned out their music. They both did love this music and ironically if they would just shut their mouths, they’d probably like each other a lot more.

“Might as well,” he sighs. “First of all, my image is authentic and of course I don’t want to give myself all away. I enjoy my privacy and for everyone to truly know me I’d have to give that up. Which I’m not keen on. So, I regret to inform you but I am the same guy everyone is “in love with”. Second, I know I am a little self-involved, how else would I get here if I wasn’t constantly taking inventory of myself and reevaluating who I am. As a musician, I want to give as much of myself as possible or else it just feels inauthentic. And the extravagant thing, I can’t help that I like nice things and my job has allowed me to afford those things.”

He stops to take a deep breath and she’s working in stunned silence, in disbelief that Harry is even telling her any of this or that he’s spoken that much and so quickly. Wasn’t he notorious for speaking slowly with barely even a sentence worth of actual information. He sounds tired and frustrated, but also, surprisingly, sincere.

He continues, “The music thing. Maybe it was a test, but still it doesn’t mean I give everyone a mile when they say their favorite musicians match up with mine or something. I note that they either did their homework or might be an interesting person to get to know.”

“So which am I?” She widens her eyes.

“Obviously the second even if you’re also making it painfully clear that you don’t like me.”

“You’re smarter than I thought, Harry. I’ll give you that,” she smirks slyly, finishing up the bird coverage now.

He laughs. “Thanks,” he drawls out.

“And I admit that maybe you aren’t as easy to read as I made out, but I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree about the whole being your authentic self. I just don’t buy it. I can see your mind working constantly, you’re not one to just let yourself be free in public. And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, I’m just saying, you shouldn’t pretend like that’s not what you’re doing.”

Her final thought leaves Harry silent. She pays no attention to his silence or at least she’s actively ignoring it. Instead she tunes back into the music that had gotten them back onto the wrong foot. This was going to be a long few months.

When she’s satisfied with her work, she has them sit there for thirty minutes to give it all time to set before Harry is off to hair and other makeup. They sit there listening to music. Neither of them have spoken again, except instructions from her and Harry’s hums of approval of songs.

Harry stands up after thirty minutes as she stays behind to pack up some items. Just as he’s about to step out of the door, he turns and calls her name.

“For the record, I don’t think you’re giving me a fair shot. You said yourself that you’re different every day. That every version of you, is you. So I hope you’ll give me the same allowance, every version of me is me. In this trailer, in my music videos, on tv, in interviews, in my free time. It’s all truly me.”

She bites her inner cheek as he ducks his head and exits the trailer, not allowing her any response.

“You’re late!”

“Meeting ran over with Nick and Olivia. Sorry,” Harry says as he begins to undress.

It’s the first day she has to cover all of his tattoos. It was going to take forever by all accounts. It had been two weeks since shooting had begun and she had gotten the simple hands and neck down to 45 minutes so she could only dread what his entire body would take.

“It’s fine,” she grumbles, knowing there wasn’t really anything else she could say about him coming late from a meeting with the director and producer.

Over the last two weeks, they hadn’t grown any fonder of one another. Not at all. They at least had gotten into a system though and she was grateful for that at least.

They showed up, Harry got in his chair, she set up the music, and they got to work. Harry would practice lines on some days and he’d tell her that before she turned on the music so there were no interruptions. Sometimes they talked about stuff on set or music or she’d give Harry his line when he was trying to be off script and forgot one. She wouldn’t classify it as pleasant, but they weren’t at each other throats like they were originally.

Trailer 6 had gotten a little homier as the weeks went by, too. Harry began leaving some of his stuff there and he started putting up silly drawings he would make while on set or polaroids people had taken with him while he was there. He tacked up napkins of restaurants that catered the set and wrote funny jokes and quotes on post it notes. His personal assistants sometimes brought in snacks while Y/N was still working and Harry always offered her some. They were usually healthy, but sometimes she’d eat some. Jeff, his manager, had also stopped by on occasion during his tattoo touch-ups that had become a thing after shooting days had grown longer.

On first meeting, Jeff had said, “Y/N? Harry mentioned you.”

She had turned to Harry with an arched brow and he had shrugged. When she looked back at Jeff she didn’t see Harry give Jeff one of the deadliest looks he could muster. She had grimaced and said “Well we spend enough time together for him to know my name. So thank god for that at least.”

They had all laughed and she had gotten back to work on Harry’s wrist.

Today, she needed Harry in his shorts. It was the first day of shooting where his character would be only in his boxers so she had to cover up all his visible tattoos. Olivia had told the makeup department they actually had to cover up his feet tattoos as well. She wanted him sockless in the scene and Y/N had groaned immediately when she made it to the trailer and Harry wasn’t already there.

“But please, for the sake of my job, strip, dude.” She says, arms crossed over her chest and leaning against the counter as she watched Harry set his things down. Her soft green striped cardigan is open, exposing the white tank top sitting underneath. Her bright green shorts hang loose on her, cinched at the waist and folded over once. Her white high top nike’s tap impatiently on the floor, waiting for Harry to get moving.

He nodded, truly feeling sorry for his tardiness, knowing today was a long day. He was anxious and tired. Acting was a different experience to music and he just was really trying his best.

As he began to take off his shirt, he laughed. His arms pulled the shirt over his head and when it popped out from beneath it, he repeated, “Strip, dude,” attempting to mimic her American accent.

He had practiced his American accent in front of her while running lines, but it had a 50’s drawl to it. His acting coach had been drilling him for weeks before shooting and he still liked to practice. The accent he had just down was far off from that and far off from hers too.

“Do not,” she warned.

“What?” He asks innocently and flutters his eyelashes.

She knows his game by now and she knows she should just ignore him. She knows this after fourteen days. She knows this after hours with him. She knows this, but then she’s opening her mouth and playing into his teases.

“Sorry, what’s a word you would know? Mate?” She tries for a British accent with the last word, knowing she can’t win this.

Harry snickers and scratches at his nose with his index finger before starting on taking off his pants. “You’re so Californian.”

“Thank you,” she chirps, moving to sit beside him now that he had settled.

“I like your shorts,” he muses, crossing his legs, likely a little cold.

She glances down at her cotton shorts that showed more of her thighs when she sat for a moment before returning her gaze to his left arm. The longest task of the day was this damn arm.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, “Wanted to be comfortable today. Knew it was gonna be long.”

A smile bubbles onto his face, his pink lips parting to reveal his shiny white teeth behind them. “So true.”

The music is low today. She had chosen Joni Mitchel’s Blue album for the first pick of the day. She had quickly learned Harry preferred listening to albums in order. It tended to make him less jumpy when the same artist came on multiple times like an album. So when she tried to play just an album one day, she found him more cooperative and less irritable.

After thirty minutes of work, she can’t stop noticing how shivery Harry is. It was late October in LA, so it was still warm, but admittedly the mornings could be a little chilly. His shivering was concerning for many reasons. Mainly he was messing up her work and concentration, but she also didn’t want him to get sick or something.

“Do you want me to see if they have a blanket and slippers or something? You look like you’re turning blue.”

Harry turns his attention to her. He had been reading over the script for today again. “That’d be great. I can call…” He trails off trying to think of the name of one of his assistants, but apparently he’s too scatterbrained for it. She assumed it was the hypothermia traveling to his brain already.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll walkie someone.” She says as she grabs the walkie talkie, flicking to the personal assistants channel.

“Hey,” she chirps happily. Harry noted how she talked to other people. So sweet, yet sincere. With him, it was serious and sincere but more biting, callous at times. Less so lately, but she definitely was sharper with him. He didn’t know if it even bothered him anymore. She was engaging if nothing else.

“Is someone free to bring two blankets and men’s slippers over to Trailer 6? I’ve got a naked Jack and I don’t want him freezing before I’m done covering up his tattoos.” She takes her finger off the talking button and glances sideways at him, “Who knows, maybe that would improve his acting. Y’know on second-thought-”

“Alright, alright,” Harry tries to grab for the walkie talkie, but she turns from him holding a finger up signalling him to wait as she listens for a response.

Someone says a simple “On it” and she turns off the walkie talkie and gets back to work.

“I took my finger off the speaker before I said the thing about your acting. Relax, Harry.” She says when he’s still glaring at her. “Just love to see you squirm.”

He shakes out his short chestnut hair, some of it falling over his forehead. Instinctively, she reaches up without even looking and smooths it back. Like she was tucking her own hair out of her eyes, but instead it was Harry’s. She decided to say nothing and was relieved when Harry didn’t say anything either.

She finishes his forearm and moves to his outer upper arm. The rose holds her attention when the PA knocks on the door and she has to race to get it. Nothing could stop her from moving on this work. It was already an hour in and she wanted to scream.

She swings open the door and she wants to die. It was Autumn. Her least favorite PA, of course. She was insufferable and obsessed with Harry. Which was not why Y/N found Autumn insufferable. There were so many more reasons. So many. But that particular character flaw didn’t help her case either. Y/N tried to just take the blankets and slippers from Autumn, but the woman insisted that she come in.

“I’ve got it,” Y/N says.

“No, don’t want you to get makeup on anything,” Autumn’s saccharine voice grinds at her ears and she contemplates cutting them off.

Harry sat in his chair, legs crossed, nodding along to the music, his script discarded on the counter in front of him.

“Hi Harry!” Autumn practically yells, walking right up to him.

Y/N takes a deep breath at the door, letting it swing shut. She bites her lower lip as an attempt to bite her tongue as she walks back to her set-up. The set-up Autumn was conveniently blocking.

“Hello, Autumn,” Harry says kindly, making eye contact with her. “How’re you today?”

“So great! So great! Thanks for asking. How are you?” She points a finger at him like she might poke him and Harry squirms away from her a bit. She, of course, doesn’t notice this.

“Well, thanks.” His eyes flicker to Y/N, who is standing behind Autumn, hands on her hips and attempting not to tap her foot. His tone is clearly dismissive, but Autumn must ignore it. Y/N knows Autumn isn’t as helpless as she tries to come off.

Autumn asks, “Where do you want these?”, gesturing to the two blankets and slippers stacked on top.

“Just on the counter is fine, thanks,” Harry says.

Autumn does as he says and then stands there with baited breath. Y/N’s not sure what she’s expecting. For Harry to ask for her hand in marriage or something? But he just glances between the two women. His own foot begins wiggling in impatience.

“Busy day,” He attempts at dismissing her once again - with kindness.

“Oh my gosh, totally!” Autumn gushes, starting to go off on all of the tasks she has to do. She stands so close to Harry, Y/N genuinely thinks she’s going to sit in his lap. Y/N stares up to the ceiling, begging god or whoever to end her misery right there and then.

Harry sees Y/N’s expression and tries to maintain the neutral expression he’s had for the entirely too long interaction. A smile threatens at his rosey lips that had chapped from the morning air.

“Right, well,” he cuts off Autumn, “Y/N needs to get back to tattoo coverage, I think. So...have a nice day.”

Autumn’s eyes widen like she forgot that there was anyone else in the room and steps back from Harry. Y/N nods, a grimace clear on her face. Autumn gives her the same small she used to get from the popular girls in high school when she happened to be talking to their cool guy friend that they wanted to be more than friends with. Sickeningly sweet and completely fake. She could see the contempt in Autumn’s eyes that swirled just beneath the surface of her perfectly outlined green-ish eyes.

“Okay! You too, Harry!” She begins walking to the door and Y/N takes her seat again, closing her eyes and counting to ten. “And Y/N,” Autumn adds as an afterthought.

“Oh my fucking god,” Y/N sighs, her hands going to rub over her face and through her hair. “That was exhausting. Jesus Christ.”

“What? She’s nice. Maybe a little clueless,” Harry counters. “But she was so nice,” he confirms again, seemingly trying to convince himself of it as well.

She grabs the slippers and slips them on the ground so Harry can put them on easily. Then one of the blankets that she drapes over Harry’s bottom half. He smiles at the gesture, a ‘thank you’ said in a whisper.

“Please, she knows what she’s doing,” Y/N scoffs, “And she’s obsessed with you!” She grabs the concealer to get back to work, “She was all over you and never took her eyes off of your body. It was like she wanted to touch you or something. It was icky.”

“You touch me,” Harry adds cheekily, adjusting beneath the warm blanket.

She laughs, a smile gracing her lips as she gives Harry a look. He was clever.

“It’s my job to touch you, Harry.”

Harry had really tried to not laugh, but it was just so funny. They both snicker, their eyes meeting for a moment longer than usual.

“Speaking of my job,” she adds after controlling her laughter, “Does she not realize just how long it takes to cover all of your bloody tattoos with this shit to make it look like you’re a pristine skinned 50’s psycho killer?”

She finishes the rose coverup and moves to the ship. Harry nods solemnly.

“It’s true...And it doesn’t help that you’re terrible at it, so it takes a thousand years longer than it should.” He adds, laughter overtaking his serious tone at the end.

“Oh my god!” She shrieks in delight, trying not to mess up her work, “That is so rude! I messed up one time - mostly because of you, by the way. And give me a break, this is so not what I thought I’d be doing as a makeup artist for movies.”

He nods again, muttering “Fair, fair.”

They grow silent, enjoying Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, the album that she had queued after Joni’s.

“The body thing, I just learned to ignore it, I think.” Harry mutters, eventually, but it’s thoughtless, like he’s not revealing anything about himself with the statement. But it kind of shocks her. Her eyes widen and she stops her work to stare at his face.

“Harry,” she waits till his eyes meet hers, “That’s, like, not normal. Are you serious?”

“I mean, I’m very comfortable with my body, like I haven’t minded the last 45 minutes of sitting practically nude in front of you. And I have plenty of revealing photos out in the world. I just don’t notice staring anymore, it’s not, I don’t think it’s what you’re thinking,” he tries to reassure her. His eyes are intent on hers, full of seriousness that hadn’t been there a few moments ago.

“It’s one thing to be comfortable in your skin and another to be desensitized to objectification,” she insists.

He nods. “I know. Thank you. I would let you know if what she had done had bothered me, so don’t worry. I felt completely safe the whole time.”

“Good,” she nods back and concentrates again. “Good,” she repeats once more under her breath. There had been way too many distractions already today and she wasn’t even done with his arm yet.

As she continues to work up his arm, Harry sings along to some of the songs on Elton’s album. He happily taps his feet to the different beats, now safely tucked in soft fluffy slippers. She would never admit just how amazing it is to be in the same room as Harry’s singing. It was truly special to be less than a foot from him and hear him sing just under the unique voice of Elton - who was someone he actually knew, which was equally as cool.

He hit every note and knew every word. She was impressed. How could she not be when a literal rockstar sat before her? This was the first time she was truly starstruck by her charge, Mr. Harry Styles.

By two hours, they had moved onto an album by Dolly Parton and they were both singing. They strangely had no fights today, maybe some snarky comments from both of them, but no outright mean-spirited words were exchanged.

She stood in front of Harry, finishing up the swallows. She had finished both arms and the birds, all she had left was moving down his body. Up next, the butterfly.

“I love this tattoo,” she mumbles, twisting Harry’s standing body to face her and taking her seat again. This left her eye to eye with the butterfly on his stomach.

He makes a surprised face and raises his recently plucked eyebrow at his counterpart. “Oh really?”

“Don’t act so surprised. I told you day one that not all of them are rubbish and honestly they’re all pretty cool. I just was so annoyed that I had gotten tattoo coverage as my job and then I had to go and index them all.” She flicks her eyes up to his sculpted face and sees he’s watching her work. “Plus, I have some butterflies of my own, remember?” She grins.

“Yeah,” he ponders her words, “I don’t think that’d put me in a good mood either.”

He pauses again and she continues to work silently.

“So what’s your excuse for the second day then?”

“You provoked me,” she doesn’t spare him a glance, shrugging like it was the simplest answer in the world.

“Pardon?”

“Let’s not go down this road again, Harry.” She sighs, smoothing over the freshly covered butterfly tattoo. His sternum looked so naked, it was unnerving. Now the ferns.

Harry involuntarily shivered when her fingers traced over the ferns lightly, taking note of the expanse of skin she’d have to cover.

“You’re right,” he agrees, “But agree to disagree on the provocation.”

“Sure,” she says curtly, focusing on his skin and her job.

The expanse of skin that the ferns inhabited was slightly fleshy and especially soft. It bordered where his boxers began and she ignored that part of his body completely. It was of no importance to her and she really had no issue blocking it from her vision, even when it was right in front of her. She finishes one fern with Harry jumping only twice from her cold hands. He couldn’t put his robe on until the makeup had all set for half an hour so he’d have to be cold for possibly another hour still.

She traces the fern that is still visible and Harry shivers. She instinctively shushes him softly and his body quiets. As she works, her hair splays around her shoulders and Harry looks down at her working and doesn’t realize what his hand is doing until it’s too late. His right hand runs over her hair, smoothing it out of her face. It was rarely ever down, so it must have been the novelty of it.

“Sorry, I-” he chokes out when he jerks his hand back.

She sits back, slightly taken aback. Her body flushes just from their positioning and what a hair caress would mean normally in this position, but she’s a professional and she shakes it off.

“It’s fine. We’re even.” She assures him, breaking eye contact with his own wide eyes. “Seems like we’re both hair touchers.”

“It’s just so soothing,” Harry muses. “I think it’s human instinct to touch other people’s hair since it’s so enjoyable for yourself.”

“Possibly,” her voice raises, his thought was definitely plausible. Or maybe they were just two touch starved people who were very much in each other’s personal space 24/7.

At the two and a half hour marker, she gets a walkie message from Olivia’s assistant asking when they’d be done. She had just finished the tiger tattoo, which had been surprisingly easy. It took a while, but Harry didn’t shiver once and neither of them pet each other’s hair.

“Probably 40 minutes, sorry. He has a lot of tattoos and the makeup needs to set.” She says seriously and gets back to work, barely regarding the response of “Yeah it’s fine, just wanted an estimate”.

“Jesus,” Harry moans as she covers up his knee tattoos.

She groans in veiled disgust, “Did I just hit a secret erogenous zone? Is that why you have ‘oui’ there, you creep?” There’s a teasing tone behind the nickname she uses.

Harry laughs and runs his hand over his face, pulling at his jaw and lower lip. His jaw is so sharp, she watches him adjust it. “No, no. I’m just so goddamn tired of this.”

“And it’s not your fault,” he adds, feeling bad immediately after he said it. “It’s actually been nice today, but I’m feeling antsy, like I need to move. I don’t like to sit still.”

“I know,” she says under her breath. She simply nods in agreement.

Finally, the tattoos are all covered up and set. They had talked about George Michael when she got to his ankle tattoos that she hadn’t seen before and they laugh about the tattoos and chat a bit more. She helps him slip on his robe that he keeps in his closet in the trailer and then follows him out of it. They had decided they were hungry and he had been pushed back an hour since he had taken so long, so he had a free half-hour.

As they walked to craft services, they talked about actual things besides work. She was pleasantly surprised by what Harry talked about. It was more than music or the movie. It was the tv show he was currently obsessed with and how he hated LA’s traffic the most out of all of his dislikes for the city. She couldn’t help but grin at his Los Angeles slander. She loved this side of him.

Breakfast together after finishing his tattoo coverage became their regular thing. He would come into the trailer, racing from his morning meeting accompanied with tea for two, they’d get his tattoos covered as quickly as possible, and then they’d eat together.

They’d save their “in-depth” chats for breakfast. In early November, he joked about No Nut November and insisted he really wouldn’t have a problem with it - which had made her laugh. They worried together over the U.S. presidential election and meditated together in his trailer to Fleetwood Mac.

Around late November, Harry had requested that Y/N just do his face makeup as well, just to simplify his life a little more and the department had agreed easily. She had to spend extra time on set getting lectured on how to properly do Harry’s makeup, but after two days she stopped getting notes about it. She was so extremely proud and thankful to Harry for doing that.

All he said was: “I mean, you’re extremely talented so I’m not scared of you fucking up my face. Plus, it does make my life easier. Two birds with one stone.”

In late November, he told her about his favorite holiday drinks at Starbucks and what he was getting his mother for Christmas.

When the Vogue cover came out, he laughed over that woman who responded to his cover saying the world needed to bring back manly men. He joked that he was going to really push that from now on, that he was a manly man, and he would sputter with laughter every time he tried to say it with a straight face.

He hand delivered her a special ‘Treat People With Kindness’ sweatshirt that he only had for the cast and crew of the film. Most everyone got them from a PA, but Harry decided since you saw him first in the morning, why not.

He told her about him winning Hitmaker of the Year from Variety when he had left the award sitting in Trailer 6 and about how weird it was to film acceptance speeches in an empty room. His smile had lit up the entire set that day and the day he did his interview on set. He was so smiley she had to bump him with her elbow because he wouldn’t stop smiling at her and it was unnerving.

“Stop that,” She muttered.

“Stop what?” He smiles wider.

“That!” She squeaked, her head shaking as she ducked it to regard his anchor tattoo. “You’re smiling too much.”

“Oh no,” he says sarcastically, “God forbid I be happy.”

“It’s not that,” she bumps his thigh with her elbow, trying to keep her own smile off her face, “Your face is just so intense when you smile. Feels like you’re gonna burn a hole through me.”

He laughs, completely unconvinced, “You just don’t want me to be happy is what I’m hearing.”

She rolls her eyes, “Whatever, dude.”

She saw he was serious about the ‘manly men’ references when the Variety photos came out and everyone and their mom posted the pictures with some variation of that comment as their caption.

She still found that she rolled her eyes at some of the things Harry did, but she genuinely counted him as a friend by the time December had rolled around.

Over three hours, almost always completely alone, doing work for a job you both care deeply about can really make or break a relationship. And that first full-body coverage day had made them stronger together. After that, Harry and her would banter with one another, but there was never anything intentionally cruel. Just friends giving each other shit sometimes. Harry had been right, he had changed her mind about him. And she had realized that that was who Harry was. He was a deliverer. If you didn’t like him at first, he would try and try again until you did, but he did it in a way that wasn’t weasley or anything. It was terribly genuine and she saw it in every relationship he had on set.

On several occasions she had witnessed his friendship with Nick Kroll. A man she had regarded with dislike before the film. She had quickly realized that dislike was misplaced, but she maintained that it was just because she hated adult cartoons - citing that she literally refused to be friends with any person who willingly watched the Simpsons, Family Guy, and/or American Dad and all of those similar shows.

Nick was far nicer and less weird than she had realized. So she quickly shot her friend from high school an apology text for all the Nick Kroll slander she had spouted back in the day. Her friend had rejoiced but also said how jealous she was that Y/N got to see him regularly on set.

Nick and Harry got along great. Harry generally got along better with older people, she noticed when she was introduced to his friends on the somewhat frequent occasion. Trailer 6 was where Y/N saw most of these reactions take place. She would be introduced in the first minute and then she would smile politely and get back to the work of covering up Harry’s numerous tattoos.

Harry would say something simple and Nick, the literal famous comedian, would laugh. In the beginning she’d raise a brow, confused because it truly wasn’t that funny, but as Harry’s friend now, she kept her mouth shut.

Nick would come and sit on the couch while she’d work and eventually all three of them would chat. Sometimes she would get up to go to the bathroom during those morning chats and she would look in the mirror and think to herself “How are you casually talking to these two men right now” and then she’d think “Because you are a boss ass bitch, you got this” and go back out there with a smile on her face.

“Y/N, what are you doing tonight?” Nick asked on the first Friday morning of December.

She looks up from Harry’s cross tattoo that was half covered. Harry was reading, a book casually propped in his right hand and glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. He glanced at the other two in the room. Nick had been getting some work done before he had spoken.

“No plans,” she states simply before getting back to work. It wasn’t full body today, but it was arms and torso, so kind of a lot still.

“You should come over for dinner at my place with Harry,” Nick smiles kindly. His scruff was really coming in today. “To celebrate us almost wrapping the first half of the movie.”

Harry had thankfully freshly shaved before he sat down. It was her least favorite part of her new job. Whenever he came in for touch ups and she had to shave his afternoon shadow. She was terrified she’d cut him and never live it down from her department or Harry. She had no idea which would be worse.

“My wife will be there too, of course,” he adds, hoping to entice her to say yes.

Harry glances between Y/N and Nick again before focusing on his book again.

She purses her lips, finishing Harry’s hand and moving onto the anchor tattoo. “Yeah, I mean, I don’t know why I’d say no. As long as I’m not intruding on the throuple,” she grins up at Harry.

He stares at her with his big green eyes, slightly obscured behind his prescription glasses. He raises his brows and wiggles them a little bit, teasingly.

Nick laughs and slyly winks at Harry through the mirror. Y/N none the wiser as she removes all traces of Harry’s tattoos.

“Great!” He claps his hands and stands up. “We’ll talk or I’ll make sure Harry gets you the info or something. I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out. My wife’s been wanting to meet you,” he smiles again and walks out of the trailer.

She tilts her head at the last part. He talked about her to his wife. Did he really count her as that close of a friend? She was just a makeup artist and he was a producer… She glances at Harry and he gives away nothing. His jaw looks extra prominent and she knows it’s because he’s clenching it. He did that when he was focused or angry, remembering it bulging on the first day they met and how clenched it had been then.

“Unclench your jaw,” she mutters, “It’s not good for you.”

Harry hums and unclenches it.

He stretches his neck by rolling his head around his shoulders and she glances at the movement. His skin is still beautifully sun-kissed and his pores look so soft, only his moles change the texture of his skin. She loves his moles though, they make him especially unique in her eyes. Not that he needed anything else to set him apart from the crowd. Still, she loved them. His collarbone is prominent as he sits there shirtless and she wishes she could reach out and brush at it. But she gets back to work, knowing the only time she’s gonna be brushing near that part of him is when she’s covering dates in those dips behind his collarbones.

“Y’know, I could just drive you to Nick’s tonight,” Harry says, putting his book down and taking off his glasses. He rubs at his eye with his free hand.

“You’re blind and British, how do I know you can even drive yourself?” She asks sillily, pointing to his glasses.

He shakes his head, “I’m serious, Y/N. Aren’t you staying in the same area as me?”

He asks because they had relocated to Palm Springs a little while ago and everyone had gotten rentals and it was hard to remember where everyone was holed up when they weren’t on set.

“Yeah, think so. But you don’t need to pick me up. I have a car.”

“Nonsense. I’ve been to his place before, don’t want you to have to deal with directions, that’s just silly.”

“I guess...” she resigns relatively easily. She had never hung out with Harry off the set or Nick for that matter. It felt surreal, but she knew the right answer was usually just say yes in these situations. So that’s what she says. “Yes, that’d be great, thank you,” she confirms and watches as Harry’s eyes glimmer softly before turning back to his book. A triumphant soft smirk rests on his face.

The words die out between the two of them as she works on. He hums along to the music and continues reading his book. When she’s done with his tattoo coverage and his face makeup, she sends him off to hair and the rest of his day. He gives a flirty wink as he walks out the door and she rolls her eyes in response. She tidies up her kit and then goes to do some other makeup work.

When she wasn’t working with Harry, she was assigned to some of the minor characters and doing their makeup. They were always her second concern, especially now that she did Harry’s makeup as well as his tattoos. As she works on them, she can feel her mind drifting to Harry. Harry and how they were friends now. She was pretty sure, right? They were friends. He had never really said a mean thing to her if she really thought about it. It was her… She had been rude and mean-spirited and he had just taken it. He rarely had even thrown it back at her. He was so good to her and patient and she realized that he had proven to her that he was good. He was better than good, he was kind and loving. Considerate. Wonderful. All of those positive superlatives, Harry filled them. And she had the audacity to be mean to him.

She paused the brush that was adding blush to an actresses cheek.

Lisa, the actress, looks at Y/N confusedly, “What’s wrong?”

Y/N twitches her head, refocusing on her task at hand. The realization of her pausing her work becomes clear as she looks between her hand and the cheek that has not enough blush on it. “Oh,” she breathes. “...I just realized that I was terrible to someone who doesn’t have a mean bone in their body.”

Lisa nods, “Apologize.”

“Yeah, I mean...We’ve kind of moved past the phase where we don’t get along. Like now we’re friends, but the realization just really hit me.” She sighs, picking up where she left off on Lisa’s makeup. “I’ll make sure to apologize next time I see them.”

Lisa smiles.

At the end of the day, Y/N realizes she left her tattoo coverage kit in Harry’s room after their touch-up session halfway through the day. She had run off to help with a makeup emergency for a tiny cut on a minor character’s face and forgotten to go back and grab her things. Another roll of her eyes and a huff of breath and then she’s walking back to Trailer 6, a place that seemed like a home away from home now. She knocks, patiently waiting at the bottom of the steps.

Harry swings open the door and props it with his hip. He’s got a toothbrush held in his mouth, slowly scrubbing back and forth with his left hand. His costume is somewhat taken off, he’s still got the pants on with suspenders hanging down, his chest was completely bare and he looked funny with some of his tattoos only being half covered based on what parts of his skin had been showing today. Her work. His skin looked half silky smooth and half tattooed like usual.

His naked skin seemingly left her breathless because as her eyes returned to Harry’s face, she breathed a soft, “Hi.”

“Hey,” a smirk twists onto his face. “Forget something?”

“Yes,” she nods, coming back to her senses and entering the trailer at Harry’s gesture.

She begins to pack up the kit that had been left haphazardly strewn around on his counter. “I’m sorry I left a mess like this, I got called over to something else and forgot.”

“Don’t worry darling,” Harry grins at his joke.

She looks up from her work and sees Harry in the reflection of the mirror. He’s wiping off the makeup from his chest and his beautiful tattoos reemerge as entire images.

She laughs humorlessly, “It gets less funny each time you use that.”

“That’s not true,” he looks at her through the mirror now, his green eyes trained on her face, “Everyone else still thinks it’s hilarious.”

“They’re humoring you and your fragile ego,” she winks and watches as Harry’s smirk twitches from his perfect face.

“You’ve got a very mean disposition, you know that?” He asks.

He finishes his chest and moves to remove the makeup from his left arm, glancing at the mirror every so often to check himself and to flicker his eyes over Y/N’s face.

She genuinely laughs at that, but scolds herself internally for being mean when she had planned to apologize the next time she saw Harry. This was the next time so why was she doing this instead?

“Rewrite sweet disposition for me?” Her voice honeyed. Clearly stubborn and terrible at saying sorry...maybe her and Harry were a better match than she realized.

Harry twists his lips as he slips on his t-shirt he was wearing today.

“Pick you up at 6:30?” He says as his head pops out from beneath the rainbow striped sweatshirt he slipped on top of the shirt. His chestnut hair had been toweled out and was flopping over his forehead slightly.

She sighs and zips close the kit, standing from the seat she had taken at his counter and turning to face him now.

“6:30 is perfect. Thanks again for doing this. I just can’t believe Nick Kroll is inviting me over for dinner!” She smiles, shifting to lean against the counter as she waits for Harry to finish up. She didn’t have to but for some reason she felt like she was in no rush.

“Are you serious?” He’s moved on to changing his pants now and he’s slipping on black sweatpants.

“Yeah…” She blinks and her eyes widen as Harry appraises her expression.

He straightens up after fixing a cuff on the pants and he can’t tell if she’s being genuine or sarcastic. It was always so hard to tell with her.

“I mean, Nick Kroll is like a huge celebrity and I know in the entertainment business you’re not supposed to get starstruck but when I was in college my sister thought he was weirdly hot and my friends and I would shit talk him. I don’t know, it’s just kind of surreal to be having dinner at his place. Like I’ve watched him on tv and now I’ll be eating with him...so weird.”

He shakes his head, beginning on his dirty vans now. A small laugh escapes his mouth and he glances between her and his shoe, scratching his head quickly. “I still can’t tell… It feels like you’re fucking with me right now.”

“I’m not!” She insists, her hands coming out in front of her in a confused fashion. “I used to watch that guy’s tv show then he’s my boss now he’s inviting me over for food? It’s a lot to process.”

“How come it’s not surreal to be having dinner with me then?” He asks semi-joking, a hint of offense tinged within it. It’s visible only in his knitted brow and twisted lip.

“Careful there, sailor. Venturing into some dangerously self-absorbed waters.” Her eyes light up, a quick raise of her brows accompany the shine, and she decides now is her time to head out. Especially as she thinks about getting ready for this soiree tonight. She needed to shower and pick out an outfit with less than two hours to prepare.

Harry sputters at her response and fumbles with his pink shoelace. “That’s not...that is - You’re being unfair. My question is valid.”

She shrugs her shoulders and skirts Harry’s attempt at grabbing at her arm to stop her from leaving. “Okay, Mr. Big Man On Campus. I promise you you’re the most popular boy in school.”

She blows him a kiss and walks out the door as he attempts to get her to come back by calling her name a few times and slightly shouting “C’mon! I wasn’t being insecure. That was a reasonable ask…”

He sighs and shakes his head again. Every interaction would end with one of them either rolling their eyes or shaking their head and usually a sigh on both of their lips. It was exhausting, but exhilarating too.

20 minutes later, Harry receives a text from Y/N: “You’re still picking me up right :))) ?”

He’s in his car, getting ready to finally leave after getting held up with last minute schedule changes that he had to be informed about by some PA that he had forgotten the name of. His lip quirks to the right and he closes his eyes for a second enjoying seeing her name on his phone screen for a moment.

He types back: “Of courseeee”.

“Fab.” She sends back, immediately followed by: “Fanks BMOC ;)”

A full smile rolls onto Harry’s face after he swipes his tongue over his lower lip. “Yeah, yeah, save it for the next guy” he types out quickly before throwing his phone gently beside him and driving back to his apartment. She made him feel young, not that he wasn’t young, but generally his friends didn’t text like she did.

At 6:28, she receives a text from Harry Styles - his name in her phone. A name she had never expected to see in her phone unless her Spotify was on shuffle. Yet, instead, his name popped up under messages and it read “Here!” followed by a quick “I think” and then a phone call coming through from the apparently anxious man himself.

“Hello Harry.” Her tone even. She throws little items into her purse, making sure everything she needs is there.

“Could you peek out your window? I’m not quite sure I’m at the right place and people are staring…” nerves laced in his rushed tone.

She ambles to the window and opens up the shade she had closed to change. Below her, she sees a sleek black Range Rover with a slightly disarrayed hairdo and big dark glasses peeking below the windshield. She ignored the instinct to retch at the sight of the Range Rover and peered at the lamp lit sight below her. It was definitely Harry, but she searched for the prying eyes he was worried about and saw none. Well, maybe a few, but it wasn’t a lot.

“I see you, I’ll be right out, dude. Just deep breaths, it’s mostly crew staying here right now so they’re just seeing that it’s you, another guy they work with. They won’t come up for pictures...I would hope.”

She hangs up with no farewell, snatches her purse from its place on the bed and races out the door. Harry smiles anxiously at her when she stands next to the passenger’s door and he unlocks it. She bites her lip and raises her brows, waiting to hear if anything terrible happened in the minute and a half it took her to come downstairs and out to the car.

“Hi,” he exhales.

A smirk crawls onto her features and her eyes sparkle with a bit of a childish glee that normally she didn’t exhibit as she glances at him. “Hi.” She says quietly. “Alright big boy?”

“‘M fine.” He huffs but balks at her smile that she maintains while she stares at him. “What?”

“Just happy to see you, I guess,” her smile returns after speaking and Harry glances between her face and the windshield in front of him.

He can’t tell if she’s being serious or not once again. But he fears that conversation of her either ridiculing him for thinking she is serious or being offended that he still can’t tell. Instead, he will keep his mouth shut. For the most part.

“Happy to see you, too,” his lips create a closed mouth smile quickly before turning out of the parking lot.

She watches him. Their first time together outside of work. And they were friends. She needed to get used to simply thinking that. He picked her up to take her to dinner with her other friend and his wife. This was normal life, just with big names behind those terms of relation. Jesus, she always said it didn’t bother her to be around celebrities so why did she think about it so damn much?

She twitches her head and refocuses on Harry and his driving. His jaw is clenched again and she wants to reach out and sooth it herself. Instead she starts to open her mouth to correct him, but stops herself from that as well. They weren’t at work and it didn’t feel like something just a friend would say right now. She refocuses on the view of his eyes that are barely visible while he regards the road. His large eyes that she had grown acquainted to are surveying what he’s doing, every so often drifting to the right side of the road to check out the lane beside him. But then, always back to right in front of him, leaving a crescent of green visible to her.

“Can feel you staring at me…” His voice sounds like it’s rolled around in gravel after the long work day. It makes her wonder if he’s supposed to have a vocal rest when he’s not at work, but then again it’s the weekend now so maybe it was fine. Maybe she should ask him. Or maybe she should stop worrying so much about him.

“Have I got something on my face?” His low register bumps her from her racing thoughts. He doesn’t take his eyes off the road, but she can see he’s widened his eyes in wonder.

“No! Of course not, I just was...making sure you weren’t going to crash us or something.” She grasps at straws, desperate to not be caught by Harry.

A low chuckle bubbles from his chest and he spares a small glance over at her bundled up in his passenger seat. She matches his gaze with something of distrust hidden behind her eyes. She hopes to convey that she’s being silly and when Harry turns back to look at the road unassumingly, she feels like she has won. The harmonies of the beginning of a Queen song take over the silence, Harry’s spindly fingers thrumming against the wheel.

They arrive at the Kroll’s Palm Springs residence at 6:50. 10 minutes early and the two twiddle their thumbs for a few minutes, trying to pass the time and not intrude earlier than they were supposed to. She appreciated that Harry liked to be timely but not early, similar to how she was.

“So what is the fascination with Range Rovers?” She queries, leaning against the door’s armrest. The back of her head touches against the semi-tinted window.

Harry shifts in his seat, seat belt no longer constricting him and no road requiring his attention as they sit in the driveway. He rushes a hand through his hair and lets a single strand of hair fall over his prominent forehead.

“Dunno,” he shrugs his shoulders and allows a hand to fall onto the steering wheel absentmindedly. “I don’t really prefer them anymore, but when I’m in LA and doing work, it makes things easier. My other cars are a little flashier...have more privacy in this.”

“Yet the effect is similar,” she muses.

Her head tilts to take in Harry’s appearance, sharp black silky button-up and dark green plaid slacks, and she rubs a hand over her jaw. His eyes flicker to the movement and attempt to really take it in, even in the dim glow of the lamp light outside barely peeking into the dark interior of the car.

“Effect?”

“Y’know…” She arches her brow at him. He feigns innocence or possibly the expression is genuine. She’s begun to realize Harry was as genuine as they came, but she just didn’t think he was that unaware. An assumption that was likely correct, but even Harry liked to pretend he was a completely unassuming individual.

“Forget it,” she finishes when he gives no indication that he knows what she is hinting at. She doesn’t want to get into it with him again. Especially when he plays at this game where he has no idea what she’s talking about. It made her feel like she was crazy for thinking he made these calculated decisions to get his desired outcomes.

They move on, neither of them quite sure what the other was getting at in that conversation. The two of them walk into the house a minute before their expected arrival time side by side and are greeted happily with Nick and his wife. They’re ushered in and Y/N is happily received by the happy couple.

“So, Y/N, how’s it been for you working with these two? I know they can be more than a handful - especially together,” Nick’s wife, Lily, asks after a sip of wine.

The group of four had been eating for a while with Nick and Harry bantering for quite a bit at the beginning about whether or not Harry would be willing to hand feed Nick. The answer was settled at “another time”.

Harry seems to have a very specific habit of watching whoever is speaking - no matter what. So after Lily has finished speaking, his gaze flickers to Y/N, the person his brain expects to speak next. He watches her attentively as she wipes her mouth on her napkin before speaking.

Her hair was styled differently tonight than it usually was on set, she had it down rather than up in a ponytail or braids. He hadn’t had time to really look at her when they had been in the car, his mind occupied with stress and exhaustion that he refocused into driving and deep breathing. Now, in the comfort of a trusted friend’s home, he was far more relaxed and able to truly take in her appearance, which he couldn’t help but think was beautiful. He’d have to tell her that at some point. That he thought she was beautiful. Not that he didn’t see her on set and think she was beautiful...he just hadn’t really thought about it before. She was his wily makeup artist who was critical of him most times, but occasionally sweet, who had an amazing taste in music and good aesthetic style. The beauty part of it all, he guessed wasn’t something integral to their relationship before.

But now he was sitting beside her at the Kroll’s nice dining table and she had her hair splayed in front and behind her shoulders with one side tucked behind her ear and her outfit fit her impeccably. The top she had on had capped sleeves that cinched with buttons at her delicate wrists and a severe drop to create a small sweetheart neckline just above the curve of her breasts. It was silky and shiny, a blush pink that complemented the high waisted dark grey slacks that flared over shiny black boots that he wasn’t sure where they ended beneath the pants.

“Well,” she starts, chuckling under her breath when she meets Harry’s stare, “Harry and I spend a lot of time together, covering up all his tattoos, and he yaps a lot. So, it’s actually pretty refreshing when Nick comes in, because Harry’s then talking half the normal amount.”

He huffs a scoff, while Lily and Nick laugh happily. Nick interjects an “ouch” for the bite she just took out of Harry, but she thought it was fine, he can take it.

Harry thought to himself that if she can serve it, then she can definitely take it. His eyes remain on her as he opens his mouth to speak, but then look at Lily when words actually come out. “Well, Y/N, she thinks she can read people really well, but it’s actually quite the opposite. She had me completely wrong when we first met, so I talk now in hopes that she’ll really understand me.”

His head tilts to her when he mentions her name, but otherwise doesn’t glance her way away again. He scrunches his nose at the end of his comment, implying he converses with her out of pity.

It’s her turn to scoff and stare at him unamused. Nick and Lily share a look, unsure of what was going on, they had concocted this dinner date idea in hopes to set the two up but the way this conversation was going, they seemed to be pushing each other further and further away from one another.

“That’s simply not true,” she says curtly and takes a sip of her quickly emptying wine glass.

“Which part?”

“Almost all of it, I’d say,” her eyes glaring back at him, fiery with a disdain he hadn’t seen in awhile. “You’re proving my original perception of you with every passing second,” she adds.

“Care to elaborate exactly what the original perception of me was for the class,” his eyes are wide and wild, any extra adoration he had started to feel towards her slipping away just as quickly as it had come, like a wave along the beach.

“You know, so why don’t you?”

“I want to hear you say it,” he grits out the command.

She shifts in her seat, glancing at Nick and Lily who are watching on and she has a feeling she won’t be getting an invitation again anytime soon. Lily gives her a semi-reassuring smile like she was sorry to have asked the question at all, but Y/N knows this is kind of her fault, not that she would ever admit that. Her comment could have been taken innocuously, but Harry’s pride wouldn’t let it slide. Like she said, she should have known better, the weeks of friendship were flying out the window and she was helping them along.

“And what if I don’t?”

“Have fun calling an uber at this time of night,” he shrugs, malice dripping in his tone.

She truly was taken aback at this. A slight sound of shock leaving her mouth. Harry was many things, impatient and anxious usually, but downright cruel with her, she had yet to see it. Arrogant and pompous, definitely, but this wickedness that was starting to creep from the shadows worried her. But the little fiery demon within her wasn’t going anywhere either - yet she might back down to save herself some money and hassle.

“Fine,” she raises her brows in a challenge to him and restates her original take on him - possibly adding a bit extra malice in her phrasing, “You are a shell of a man, held up by the people around you, creating the illusion of a completely genuine and down to earth rocker who dabbles in acting, philanthropy and all around goodness. No one’s ever had a bad experience because no one’s ever truly met you. Not the real you.” She takes a deep breath as she shakes her head in disbelief now, a sarcastic laugh leaving her mouth, “And I thought, I really thought, that I had been wrong. Because these past months you really fooled me with your sweet smile and deep eyes. But when it comes down to it, you tricked me just like everyone else.”

Harry stares at her blankly and she shakes her head once more, feeling foolish. For thinking Harry was someone he wasn’t. For thinking the past few months had been real. For thinking that tonight would go off without a hitch. And the shit part of it was that she had really hoped that all of it was true. She wanted this to be her life, but her instincts had been right. Beware of the picture perfect because it always is just a mirage of deceit and lies.

“All I’ve got to say is you’re a damn good actor Harry, so at least you’ve got that going for you.” Then she pushes back from the table and stands, turning to Nick and Lily. “I really am so sorry, I understand that you probably want me to leave, so I’ll just be going,” her voice faltering at the end, she wasn’t as strong as she liked to pretend and she was pretty sure she just ruined her chances of working again in Hollywood. You’d have to be an idiot to be an enemy of Harry Styles and she feels like she just became his first.

“No!” Nick says quickly, standing too, “I think things just escalated really quickly and some things were said that both of you didn’t mean. Um...just, let’s take a few minutes to cool off. Harry could you and Lily deal with the dishes and I’m going to talk with Y/N alone.”

Everyone nods and Y/N follows Nick down a hallway, a little confused but following after he beckons her with his hand. They go out a side door and end up on a porch in the backyard. He stoops down and opens a little sitting mailbox she didn’t see and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He places one between his teeth and then offers one to her. She accepts, not usually a regular smoker, but right now seemed like a fair time to indulge in the bad habit. She needed to calm her rapidly beating heart.

He lights the cigarette for her when he sees her shaking hands and then in turn lights his own. They stand on the porch beside each other and stare out into the dark night sky.

“Well, this wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go,” Nick starts, after a few exhales of smoke.

“No,” she laughs nervously, her foot toeing at the wooden slate on the porch. “I shouldn’t have tried to make a joke.”

“No one’s to blame,” Nick says quickly, glancing at her, “You and Harry...you both have really strong personalities and I don’t think either of you are used to being challenged.”

She nods along, she definitely had to agree after the argument they had both willingly gotten into in front of other people.

“I think that can be a really good thing, challenging each other, because then you two can both grow. But what happened in there was more of a battle to the death rather than a friendly spar.”

“Yeah,” she exhales, flicking at the burning cigarette between her fingers, “I don’t know why he gets under my skin sometimes in a way I’ve never dealt with and it’s kind of uncomfortable so I lash out, I guess.”

Nick stays quiet, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Ugh,” she groans, “I wish I hadn’t done that. We were doing so well, it’s like I don’t even really know what I’m saying, it’s like I can’t handle a friendly spar, I always end up going in for the kill - as you put it.”

She rubs at her face with her free hand and then takes a drag herself. Nick bites at his lower lip, trying to think of a solution.

“Y’know? Lily and I had concocted this plan to try and set you and Harry up tonight,” he says slowly, revealing the plan that had clearly been taken off the table as they just needed to attempt to salvage cordiality.

“Really?!” She’s in complete disbelief and slight dismay that the plan was seemingly ruined.

“Well,” he sputters, “When the two of you aren’t throwing verbal fireballs at each other, you’re actually quite sweet to one another. Those fond little glances you hope no one sees, well he does that too, and you both fail miserably because I see it all the time. I’m sure plenty of people do too.”

“Oh,” she states, visibly deflating. She looks to the ashtray conveniently on a table behind her and presses out the rest of the cigarette. “Should probably talk to him, huh?”

Nick nods, stamping out his nub of a cigarette as well. They go back inside and into the kitchen where Lily and Harry have plated dessert. Harry looks a little sheepish, likely having a similar conversation with Lily and she wouldn’t be surprised if her expression looks similar, if not a bit more flushed from the outdoor chill.

Lily murmurs that she and Nick are going to eat their dessert in the living room, a fair bit away from the kitchen and the two now deflated counterparts nod and then stare at each other, knowing what they need to do.

“Can we talk?” Harry rasps out, his voice even lower as he speaks softly, a mere foot away from her in the kitchen.

She nods, but moves further from him to lean against the counter and tuck her hands behind her. She’s lost her appetite and doesn’t want Harry to see her shaking digits.

He’s ducked his head and a stray curl falls over his forehead, laying there softly. He doesn’t move to fix it, just stares at his feet until she begins to talk. He can’t not look at her face when she speaks.

“So…” She slowly starts, not enjoying the tension in the room. Her eyes can’t meet his though, his stare dark and unnerving like usual, but almost painfully so now. “I can start.” She kicks at the tiling on the floor like she had done outside as well, trying to not think about the eyes trained on her right now. “I’m sorry I lashed out on you, Harry. I didn’t mean what I said, it was just a heat of the moment response.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Harry says immediately once she finishes speaking, “I shouldn’t have gotten upset over a silly joke and brought up a sensitive subject. Then it escalated…”

“Yeah, I really liked the friendship we’ve garnered these past few months and I just can’t believe I almost ruined everything - including my career…” she squeaks at the end and tears start to roll from her eyes. “Oh god,” she is hit with the gravity of all that she almost ruined as Harry stares at her again. “I’m so sorry, Harry, I really am. Do you forgive me? I don’t think I could stand it if you didn’t.”

She stands there and feels sobs wrack through her and her hands go to cover her face out of embarrassment. She had caused a scene and now she was making another one. In front of Harry.

In an instant his arms are wrapped around her frame and he’s hushing her cries. They had never hugged before, but now seemed like as good a time as ever. His arms were strong around her and she pressed her face into his chest, not caring at all about how she looked or whether this was worse than getting in a fight and running off.

“Of course I forgive you,” he says and then begins repeating her name over and over, trying to soothe her. He definitely had been hurt by her words, but it seemed like she was more upset about the whole situation than he was and he didn’t think bringing up what specifically had hurt him would help her frame of mind.

She settles after some time, her whimpers and tears subsiding after being rocked into a more peaceful mindset with the help of Harry’s calming voice and reassuring embrace.

“I really am sorry,” she whispers again.

Harry pulls his neck back and his head off the top of her head to look at her face. It was tear stained and her eyes were glassy, lips slightly puffy. He gave her a soft tight-lipped smile. “No more apologies,” he states sternly and then softens again at the slight quiver in her lip. He pulls from her a little more, leaving her at arm's length, with his hands still attached to her hips, fingers slipping over the plaid fabric. “I meant to tell you this earlier, before things…” he stares at her face again and she holds it this time, “You look beautiful tonight.”

She scoffs and her eyes immediately drop to her feet, “Definitely not anymore.” She doesn’t believe Harry.

“‘M serious,” he insists. His right index finger goes to rest beneath her chin and brings her face up to look back at him.

“Sure,” she says, still not convinced but not sure how else to respond. She feels herself warming at all the positive attention he’s pouring into her.

His gaze won’t falter from her face, he’s intent upon making her understand him. He whispers her name, “Accept the compliment.”

“You’re stubborn,” she notes.

“So are you,” he counters quickly.

“Fine, thank you,” she sighs when he won’t stop giving her that look of his. That look that makes her want to melt into the ground because it feels like she’s the only person in the world. “Though you looked especially good tonight, too,” she adds, her hands rubbing over his shoulders softly.

“Thank you,” Harry states lowly, the words only traveling to her ears. His hands fiddle with the sides of her top, thinking about the night and where they were now. Her eyes were red from crying and overall she looked tired beyond her years. “Do you want me to take you home?”

“That’d be nice.”

They make a quiet farewell to Nick and Lily, as well as apologies from both her and Harry. They don’t speak in the car and the music plays loud enough for it to not seem unreasonable for them to be silent. Harry’s hands don’t tap against the steering wheel, they sit in their spots stoically doing their job and nothing more. She watches the window, legs crossed and hands clasped in her lap. She’s thankful for the music because she knows that even though they had talked, it wasn’t enough. What she had said was hurtful and one apology wasn’t enough for how she had behaved. She didn’t think her and Harry would be the same after tonight, but the silence made it possible for her to pretend none of it had happened.

Just as Harry’s car is pulling up the apartment complex that is far darker now, the harsh splatter of rain begins to fall on the pavement and the sleek black car the two are still sat in.

“Oh,” she comments offhandedly, just responding to what she had noticed.

The rain grows louder when Harry parks and then turns off the car. He glances at her for the first time since they got into the car. She registers the look out of the corner of her eye, her face still looking out at the rain. She loved the rain, but there wasn’t always a lot in Southern California, especially not in Palm Springs. It seemed that tonight was different.

“Well,” Harry breaks his silence, she thinks that’s her cue to leave and unbuckles her seatbelt, but he continues. “This certainly wasn’t how I expected this night to go.”

She stops moving, her hand hovering over the handle of the door. She sits back and settles into the seat, feeling her teeth bite into the plush of her bottom lip.

“That’s what people keep saying,” her eyes remain on the rain hitting the front of the car, the splatters of seemingly black liquid that form when the clear rain touches the onyx hood of the car.

“Huh?” Harry grows perplexed at the rather wistful tone of her and how she won’t look at him again. He was still hurt, but he had hoped them talking in the kitchen had straightened some things out. During the car ride he hadn’t wanted to talk, but it didn’t mean he was still angry with her. Just confused, and growing further confused by the second.

“Oh,” she repeats, “Didn’t Lily say? Her and Nick concocted that dinner in hopes to set us up.”

Harry hums, knowing that because Nick had left out a little part of that plan. That he had been a part of it. He had been talking with Nick about getting to know her better outside of work and how Nick had thought it’d be a good idea to have dinner so he had told Lily and they set it up like a casual dinner party. Harry didn’t know how to respond because her knowing that he was in on the plan might just make matters worse. He really didn’t think things could get much worse, but it seemed that they always managed to make it happen so in the end he decided to keep his mouth shut.

“I don’t know if we’d ever be able to work out differences out for that,” she decides to continue, when Harry stays quiet. She scans the interior of the car and watches Harry for the briefest moment before going back to looking out the window. “Nick said that we challenge each other to grow, but all I see us do is hurt each other.”

Her voice is just above the rain pattering outside the car and Harry thinks it sounds almost melodic if it weren’t for the sadness laced in every word.

“I disagree,” he states before wetting his lips.

“Of course you do,” she laughs in spite of herself.

“Even after all these months together and you still don’t get it. I like you.”

“You don’t like me, I don’t know how you could ever like me,” she shakes her head. “We just...we get under each other’s skin. You can make me so angry sometimes and I know I make you angry too. And when we’re not angry, we’re focussed on something that doesn’t have to do with ourselves.”

“I don’t think what you feel for me is anger,” Harry insists, “Just because something feels burning and fiery, frustrating even, doesn’t mean it’s anger.”

His body shifts closer to the center divide and she turns to face him finally. His eyes are extra dark in this lighting, which is barely there from a streetlamp a ways off. She longs for the comfort of his light green eyes, the soft pale glow of the moss that seems to have been trapped within his iris. Maybe for that reason she unknowingly leans closer to him.

“Then what is it?” She whispers, eyes blinking slowly as her breathing grows strained.

“Passion.”

Immediately, her head is tilting to meet his lips. Her mind knows one thing, she needs to be kissing Harry right now. And then she is. His left hand goes to cup her cheek as his lips attach themselves to hers. His soft lips press to hers in a long searing kiss. They stay there for a moment, pressing all of that passion and frustration into the kiss.

She presses impatiently forward, her lips starting to move more, wanting to kiss him deeper. Harry obliges, parting his lips and kissing her more vigorously. He licks into her open mouth and smiles at the sound she makes in appreciation for his actions.

She’s shifted to have herself kneeling on the leather seat and she’s leaning over the console. One of her hands finds purchase on Harry’s thigh and grasps tightly, her other at the back of his neck, pressing him closer if it were possible.

His chest is pressing against hers as he pulls her closer. He kisses her and his fingertips rub softly at the apple of her cheek. Eventually they run behind the shell of her ear and trail down her neck.

Eventually, she pulls away and stares at Harry. She watches as his eyes flutter open gently. His soft eyelashes dust his cheeks before moving away, allowing his eyes to peer at her in the dark.

Her breathing feels a little irregular after the kissing and she’s sure she is heaving her chest slightly, likely mirroring Harry’s chest as well.

“So, where to now?” She inquires, lips quirked up at her suggestion.

Harry giggles and scratches his nose against his index finger.

Harry doesn’t stay the night, he walks her up to her apartment door though. He kisses her chastley in front of her door and wraps an arm around her waist as he does so. He bids her a goodnight and a promise of seeing her soon.

They don’t see each other for a month. Both of them had been so blissful after the endorphins of kissing their person that they had forgotten that filming had wrapped. They weren’t set to work for a month. Harry texted her the next morning informing her that he’d be in England until filming resumed. She was still going to be in California, filming was moving back to Los Angeles, so she’d be back in her place there. Her family knew she was working, so they had sent her presents ahead to her place instead. Angie, her only true friend in the area, was spending her time with her actual family and Y/N didn’t want to intrude.

So the holidays were going to be spent alone. Those four weeks alone passed surprisingly quickly. She practiced techniques on herself, bought a tiny Christmas tree like the one in A Charlie Brown Christmas, watched A Charlie Brown Christmas and just about every other holiday movie possible. She fell in love with young Hugh Grant and Colin Firth for the thousandth time. She sang carols to herself and decorated her place with decorations from Target. She jammed out to the new Miley Cyrus album and held dance parties for herself in the house. She baked cookies and even attempted a trifle after watching a Great British Bake Off episode. She did and she did all in hopes that her mind wouldn’t wander to the guy who hadn’t called.

Harry texted occasionally, but it was infrequent at best. He was a busy person, she knew that. She knew who he was. And she didn’t want her mind to have enough time to feel sorry for herself. For her to think that she was just somebody to pass the time with while at work, because if she stopped doing things that’s where her mind would wander. Why did her mind spiral like it did? She had no idea, she’d always been like that.

His absence, their separation, made her question if her own feelings were even true. She wondered if when she saw him he would act as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t said their relationship was passionate and she had kissed him until she couldn’t breath.

Too much time alone, she needed some fresh air. On January 2nd, after an uneventful night at home and a lackluster countdown washed down with cheap champagne, she decided to go and walk around near her place. There was a coffee shop that wasn’t extremely expensive that she also liked that she figured she would get coffee from. After a brisk walk, she walked through the store's doors and ordered an iced green tea. As she waited, she watched the other customers around her, wishing to see a friendly face, someone she knew. And seconds later, she was met with half of that wish. Someone she knew, not necessarily a friendly face.

“Autumn.” She states with a grimace when someone taps her on the shoulder and she spins around.

“Y/N? It is you!” Autumn, one of the PA’s from Don’t Worry Darling who was especially in Harry’s business, exclaims overly happy as per usual.

Y/N bites the inside of her cheek and gives a tight lipped smile, trying her best to be cordial.

“How’s your holiday been!” Autumn asks.

“Great. You?”

“So great!” She’s quick to lean closer and say in a hushed tone, “But I miss working on set, especially getting to see that Harry everyday. He’s just so gorgeous.”

A breath gets stuck in Y/N’s chest at the mention of Harry’s name. Her brows can’t help but raise a bit at Autumn’s comment. Even lowering her voice didn’t make it feel alright to talk about Harry like this. He was her friend after all.

“Sure.” Y/N nods abruptly, realizing Autumn wants some recognition of what she’s just said. Y/N’s eyes glance around the room, hoping for an out like her drink is ready or something - no such luck.

“I mean,” Autumn keeps talking, of course, “You’re so lucky. You get to see him shirtless, like what? Everyday practically? Don’t tell me you don’t miss that just a little bit!”

“I miss working,” Y/N says, avoiding what Autumn is trying to get her to say. “And Harry’s my friend, could you maybe not talk about him like that with me?”

Autumn’s eyes widened in shock, her lips parted dumbfounded by her co-worker's response. Y/N’s name is called for her drink and she’s thankful for the serendipitous nature of that sound getting her out of the awkward situation she had just been in.

When she gets back to her apartment, she surprisingly has a text from Harry himself. She’s always telling everyone; speak of the devil and he will appear, in one way or another. It’s a Happy New Year well wish followed by a separate text asking how she was.

It was sent a minute ago so she decides to try and give him a call. She preferred talking on the phone over texting.

It rings a few times and then, again surprisingly, he picks up.

“‘Lo?” His voice is nice and deep and sounding extra British after his weeks surrounded by family and such.

“Harry,” she sighs contentedly.

“Happy to hear your voice,” he says her name and she can tell he’s smiling just like she is, from ear to ear.

She bites at her lip, hearing him say her name.

“I’m well, thanks,” she says after a moment of happy silence.

“What?” Harry laughs, confused.

“You texted asking me how I was and I called to respond.”

“Got it,” Harry chuckles, and she hears him shuffling around, likely sitting down on something.

“How are you?” She continues.

“Good, starting to wind down for the day,” he lists off the things he’s been doing over the past few days. Some of it work related, some of it family activities. All of it fun, he insists. “What did you do today?” He finishes, knowing she was an avid activity doer based off of the snaps she had sent him over the past few weeks.

“Tidied my place, went to the coffee shop and got iced tea…” she tries to think and then she gasps, “Oh! And I saw Autumn, one of the Don’t Worry Darling PA’s -”

“The one who’s obsessed with me?”

“Exactly!” She laughs, “And I may have kind of told her off… accidentally.”

“Accidentally told her off?” Harry repeats, incredulous. “How’d you do that?”

“Well,” she doesn’t want to tell him the rest, but there’s also a tiny part of her that really does, “She was gushing about you, which, ew. And then she asked if I missed seeing you shirtless everyday.”

“Well do you miss seeing me shirtless?” Harry smirks.

“Oh shut up!” She’s quick to reply.

“So you do?”

“If I really wanted to see you shirtless, all I’d have to do is type in “Harry Styles sh” and it would come up,” she rolls her eyes even though she knows he can’t see them. “Wouldn’t even need the whole word. Guaranteed.”

“Uh-huh?” Harry questions still, “If you want me to send you shirtless pictures that the rest of the world hasn’t seen, Y/N, all you have to do is ask.”

“I do not want you to send me shirtless pictures of yourself!” She exclaims. She feels like jumping out of a window right now. This conversation had escalated so quickly and she felt herself flushing, maybe even perspiring a little bit. And she also knew that she also would probably like it if he sent her shirtless pictures, which made this whole thing worse.

“Offer stands,” he says, smug as he normally was, happy he got to banter with her again. It had been dull without her, if he was honest with himself. “If you ever find yourself in need, just send a cheeky text and I’ll whip one out for you, no matter where I am or what I’m doing.”

“See this sounds like you’re saying something sincere, but really you’re just telling me you’ll send me nudes at any time.”

“No one said anything about nudes!”

“Shirtless, nude, sounds like you’re getting too caught up in the details, hon.”

“No!” He protests, “You’re the one who’s supposed to be flustered right now, not me!”

“Aww, you’re flustered,” She coos.

Harry groans. “Whatever. I’ll be back on the 8th, be ready to go out on the 9th. I’m taking you on a proper date.”

“How do you know I’m going to say yes?” She bite her lip again, she’s really sweating now. She couldn’t believe he had just asked her out on a date out of nowhere. Out of them just joking about nudes. Maybe she didn’t know Harry as well as she thought.

“Because you called me,” he says confidently.

“I call everyone.”

“But I don’t offer shirtless pictures to everyone.”

“That has nothing to do with me saying yes to this date.”

“Or does it?”

She laughs at his words, at how his voice still manages to convey every facial expression and quirk of his lips. She knows there’s a smile on his lips as he stares in the distance, imagining her face just as she is his.

“Yes.” She smiles.

“Yes!” He repeats happily.

She hears him stand up and spin around possibly and she chuckles slightly, amused at the silly man across the world who had seemed to have stolen her heart.

“See you soon, Harry.”

“Not soon enough.”

On the Saturday of their date, Harry insists on picking her up. He meets her at her door and winks at her after pulling away from their short hug. He laces his hand in hers and she follows behind him as he all but drags her to his car that is downstairs. He seems giddy. His hair has grown out in the month he’s been gone and she knows they’ll cut it when filming resumes. He’s wearing Gucci flared blue jeans - she knows from the big logo on the bottom left pant leg - a ‘Waiting for Sunset’ graphic tee beneath a black cardigan with little animals and items knitted in it. And of course, his dirty ass vans. She had hoped that maybe Christmas would bring him a fresh pair from someone, but it seemed there was no such luck.

Either way, he looked good and upon scanning his outfit, she was pleased that she had dressed correctly for the occasion, knowing one of the sins of Los Angeles was being improperly dressed wherever you might go. Harry had said casual, but casual can always mean so many different things. She got it right with light wash high-waisted levi’s, a brown cream rib-knit long sleeve that buttoned like it could be a cardigan, and some fun chunky boots that added some height to her normal stature. She had contemplated between this and possibly twenty other tops and a few other bottoms. Landing on this felt right, plus it didn’t clash with Harry, the color of her shoes actually matched the color of the snake on the cardigan.

They both compliment each other on the way out to his car and she giggles when he stops and twirls her around. He says he didn’t get a “proper look” before for him to compliment her adequately. After the twirl, he nods and starts them off again, complimenting the specific pieces of her clothes and says she looks beautiful again. His giddiness was contagious.

“No Range tonight,” she muses when Harry stops them in front of a Mercedes-Benz cream convertible, top up.

“Not working,” he replies, unlocking the car with the key into the passenger’s side door handle.

She smiles and slides into the car and watches him jog around to his side and unlock it as well.

“Tonight is going to be fantastic,” he says, leaning over the console and kissing her cheek, just beside her lips.

And when he pulls away with that smug smile of his, she knows he kissed her there on purpose. But the little tease only makes her smile more. He was good at this. And he was right.

The night was fantastic. As was every night after. And she learned that Harry was so much more than anything she ever thought. She counted herself lucky to be loved by a man like him.

#harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #enemies to lovers #dwd!harry #idk I always feel like theres more I need to put in here but idk #pls leave feedback and reblog

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shieldedreams · 3 years

Text

want you to stay (heaven truly is on earth) (f.a.)*

summary ⇾ frank knows true to his heart that you love him. yet, overhearing someone trying to pick you up from the bar has him doubting himself. details ⇾ 4,700 words / frank adler x reader / 🌸☔️🔥a little angsty, then fluff, then smut bc three-in-1 >:) notes ⇾ idk what this was tbh. i just liked the idea and it... progressed. enjoy! 👀ah! this is for @jtargaryen18‘s 60 days of Chris challenge! 💞

[minors dni - descriptive + explicit scenes of sex / foul language / unprotective sex (stay safe babes) / breeding kink (kinda) + oral (f) / also i haven’t written smut in a while pls be kind]

on saturday nights when mary is under roberta’s care, the world is your oyster when it comes to deciding on date night. now, that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t date night when mary was around but you were rather mindful with the locations and context considering she’s a child. oftentimes staying home was a good choice, given that frank loves nothing more than to have you to himself; take that figuratively and literally.

on other nights, on a night like this, you two were at ferg’s for a bite to eat and a couple of drinks. so far, in frank’s mind, the evening was panning out rather well. almost too well. you were wearing a sundress he admits to loving a bit too much; yellow was a gorgeous color on you and he’ll never let that die. playful stares at one another, light teasing touches across (and under) the table, the way he kisses the spot behind your ear and you purposefully letting out a sigh into his ear that encourages him to take both of you home.

what does put a downer to the mood was when he’s left to pay, he returns to overhearing some guy trying to hit you up and outright calling your boyfriend a worthless boat repairman who barely makes it out to pay for everything. well, cue the way frank storms off to the truck. not because he’s mad at you–but himself.

it’s a few minutes until you managed to slide away from the sleezy guy who had to resort to bringing other people down in his expense to make him look good. (never pans out well) you’re taking your purse and heading out when you swore you saw frank leaving at the corner of your eyes in the middle of the guy’s ted-talk about himself.

you see frank leaning against his truck with a frown, kicking rocks. then his own foot. then the tyre behind him. you also note the way he’s glancing down to his worn out jacket, grease-stained grey t-shirt and jeans he has on. altogether, it doesn’t feel like a good time to talk, so you don’t say anything; resorting to kissing his cheek as he lets out an exasperated sigh. he gently nudges you to the side and you’re climbing into the seat when he opens the door for you to get in and–tries not to but ultimately fails not to–slam the door. it makes you flinch despite seeing it coming but you’re far than secure knowing frank would never hurt you.

the ride home had been a little tense to say the least. you analyze his features from the passenger seat and it just feels like it’s much more than some guy trying to hit you up. in that brain of his (which was very smart and also very good in overthinking), there must be something he’s not telling you or hiding that it resorts to a reaction like this. though you see telltales of this unravelling when you get home, you carefully reach over to his hand on his thigh as he drives with one hand. you can tell it surprises him yet not entirely, a soft sigh leaving his lips as he flips his hand over to capture yours between his own.

that makes you smile as you glance up to his face, then deciding to look out the window for the rest of the journey home.

the second the car comes to a stop, frank’s staring at your hand in his. you didn’t quite understand what it meant but soon he’s shaking your grip off and hopping out of the truck. quietly, you follow suit, trailing behind him as he unlocks the door and swings it open to step in, unbothered. you click your tongue when you braced yourself for this and walk in, closing the door and locking it behind you as you watch frank strip off his jacket and storm towards the kitchen.

“why’re you staying with me?” frank’s tone is anything but welcoming, border-line hostile with the way he talks. it seems like he did fairly well at controlling his temper back at bar but it’s like all his patience was running thin. you test the waters to see how serious this was, easing your jacket off to hang it onto the rack before you retrace his steps into the kitchen. with folded arms, you watch as he frustratedly chugs down on water, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he eyes you.

“because you asked me to move in about five months ago?” your answer goes around the target he’s aiming for. he rolls his eyes, sliding his cup onto the counter as he stares at you, “that’s not what i meant,”

with a sigh, you unfold your arms as you approached him, stopping just opposite him with the counter between the pair of you, “then what did you mean?”

you see it in his eyes; the self-consciousness of frank adler’s weaknesses surfacing. dark and gloomy, waves of uncertainty dragging himself down the longer he stares at you. his voice is cold, and you’re unsure if it’s because he can’t bear to say it or if he’s not strong enough to accept the thought of you answering.

"what are you doing with a guy like me?”

at his question, you let out a bated breath. your hands gripping onto the edges of the counter with a raised brow, “well, do you want me to leave?”

you watch as he debates for the answer to a question he already knows the answer to yet he can’t say it. he bites on his tongue, eyes flickering down to the counter as his lips part to inhale deeply. he pursues his lips, feeling his own question coming to bite him back in the ass and he doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions overwhelming him. he swallows thickly when you speak, your voice lifting his chin up to gaze into your eyes sadly.

“if you want me to leave, you just have to tell me, frank. but once you do,” he hears how shaky your voice has gotten and he hates it, he hates it so much, “i’m not coming back,”

visibly, frank’s cold demeanor falls apart. the mere thought of you leaving, forever, one foot out the door and never to return haunts him. so much that it’s showing when his lips quiver, the hot tears stinging his eyes as he blinks them down his cheeks in efforts to look away from you with a sniff.

“so how about you really tell me what’s going on–”frank snaps his head up to you, his voice cutting you off curtly–”i want nothing more than for you to stay,” he says in a single breath, feeling he can breathe again yet his lungs also betray him, closing in on itself. the way you look at him after he says it makes him want to punch himself for making you feel this way but he can’t help it.

how could he?

“frank...” you call out to him softly, attempting to get closer to him as you walk around the counter to reach him. when you’re standing by him, you carefully slide in front of him, coming between him and the counter with your hip resting against the counter behind you. your hands delicately framing his cheeks, searching for the answer in his eyes that usually filled with a flare of confidence, now wallowed in self-doubt, “where’s all of this coming from?”

he clears his throat, refusing to hold onto you even though he wants to do just that. his eyes avoiding your gaze as he stares at your shoulder, “a man who consciously chose to give up everything and barely gets by with fixing boats?” he scoffs, now looking at you in disdain, “you want that?”

you lean up to give him a soft kiss; one he doesn’t reciprocate but you can feel the way he restrains himself. how his hands grip onto your waist in desperation for more yet his lips refuse to give in. at least he has his touch on you, that much you’ll take. when you pull away, you watch as he tries not to follow after you, letting out a muffled grunt as he stares at you, waits for you to respond.

“it’s all about perspective, frank,” you whisper over his mouth, eyes flickering up to his, “you can say that, but that’s not how i would put it,”

he looks so vulnerable; baring his heart out to you and you appreciated it. frank adler had other means to overcoming his emotions, truly, you’ve seen it. the numbered of thrown wrenches and broken wood pieces was enough for you to take a mental note he’s a thrower. for him to choose to talk about it with you, admit his insecurities out in the open when he wants nothing more than to dissolve it the minute he thinks about it meant the world to you. it makes you smile a little when he asks: “then how would you put it?”

“i see... a man who has a big heart, willing to do anything even if it means putting his life aside for the sake of someone you love,” at your words, frank’s jaw tightens when you can feel a new batch of tears coming the second his eyes flutter shut, eyelids trembling. his hands smoothen over your waist into a hug as he buries his face into your neck, appreciating an arm you have over him and a hand stroking his head lovingly. all of this, while trying to focus to your words as you speak, “and she’s gonna grow up knowing she’s loved. even when everyone around her wasn’t there for her but she won’t have to go through that,” you make it a point to frank by nudging him back, warm orbits staring at him as he cries silently, “not when she’s got you,”

you give him a moment, as he trembles in your arms while you catch him like a safety net. his arms are locked, an iron grip refusing to let up with the warm tears trickling down your skin. yet, you wouldn’t have it any other way, wanting to be there for him every step of the way. frank has done so well in raising mary, even if he constantly worries he’s not. it doesn’t help that evelyn had been tearing him down and pointing out every single flaw he has; maybe it’s the accumulation of it all that’s fuelling frank’s demons–determined to tear him apart and imprint in his mind that all of the good things in his life will one day be taken away. it only makes you want to comfort him more, caressing the back of his head and constantly pressing kisses to the side of his head as he takes as much time he needs to collect himself.

he draws himself back after while. his throat swelling up much like his eyes, voice hoarse as he croaks: “...even you?”

your hands pillow against his cheeks, thumb padding away the tears as he smiles when you start joking with him, “i mean... if you’ll have me, you know? just a minute ago my boyfriend’s prompting me to leave–”you barely have a chance to finish your sentence when frank’s slamming his lips onto yours. an arm banded by your hip, the other cupping your chin to keep you in place. he kisses you, quick and fast, with such ferventness it’s making your head spin. then it slows down, like the passionate nights of loving you tenderly replaying in an instant; the waves of pleasure and euphoria, the distinctive taste of love that is frank on your lips. it comes to a stop momentarily when he pulls back, admitting in a whisper: “i never want you to leave. i always, always want you stay,”

your thumbs brush over his scruffy beard and find the corners of his lips. with a light nudge, pushing it up to make him smile, wider than before, “then i guess mary has nothing to worry about our taco tuesdays,”

frank laughs, a genuine one that makes your heart swell at how happy he looks. sure, this wouldn’t be the last time you’ll have to talk about this but knowing he’s reassured, your heart can rest easy.

“it’s like you always know what to say,” he sighs, leaning to thump his forehead against yours. “well, only when i’m asked. no one likes a smart ass,”

“that sounds oddly familiar,” he squints his eyes at you when you shrug at him, refusing to openly admit you may or may not have been a listening ear to mary’s grumbles. your lips mirror his when his smile grows wider and you anticipate for the way he kisses you. the feeling of his beard tickling your skin, the vibrations from his mouth as he groans into yours, addicted to the taste of you mixed with hints of alcohol earlier this evening. you sigh as your hands crawl past his face to touch more of him; one steadying on his shoulders, the other raking through his hair as you play with his brown locks.

his lips twitch upwards and you can feel it on your lips. you gasp at his large hands crawling down and under your dress, easily gripping each cheek against his palms. an airy moan leaves your lips just as he draws back from kissing you, mouth greedily trailing down your jaw, resorting to sucking on the area slightly past your ear, near the nape of your neck. you’re holding onto him, nails half-scraping onto his flesh as he riles you up in all the ways he knows how. his hands continued kneading your ass until a hand slithers forward and gives you a harsh squeeze. his thumb teasingly strokes your clothed clit, making you squirm in his hold with a whine.

“f-frank, don’t tease,” you manage to squeeze a hand past your bodies, reaching for his belt. he’s about to stop you but lets out a guttural moan instead when you palm his growing bulge. you feel his hands retracting from your body but not for the reasons you thought. you’re about to kick him quite literally but find the air sucked out of your lungs when he grips you by the waist to hoist you up onto the counter. you inhale sharply at the cold surface greeting your skin, yet that thought quickly dissolves when frank drops to his knees, face levelled to your clothed center.

his hands spread your legs open, deeply inhaling as he leans forward to press a kiss to your inner thighs, earning himself the trembling of your legs as they settle over his shoulders. “god, you’re so perfect like this,” he mutters approvingly, his hands getting to work to sliding your panties off and shoves it into his jeans for safekeeping. the last thing you see is that shit-eatingly-handsome grin of his before your eyes snap shut at the feeling of his tongue on you. feral and eager, pushing his tongue in you as his fingers show such contrast with lazily drawing circles on your clit. your ankles cross behind his back, a hand barely gripping onto the counter while your other hand finds leverage in his hair with quiet moans leaving your lips.

so sinful and beautiful–frank looks up and he feels his jeans tightening at the sight–plump lips parted with such pretty moans leaving your lips, your eyes peeling open to gaze down onto him at what he’s doing to your body. it looks like he’s made for this; to be between your legs, cased by your thighs, eating you out like it’s the last chance he’ll ever get. he smirks and he knows you feel it, him humming in satisfaction to watch your body tremble at his every move. the mere feeling of his beard tickling and triggering your heightened senses.

as much as you love the way things were panning out, you want more. more than his tongue deep in you, more than the fingers touching you almost everywhere. “frank–you–please,” your words are all fumbling over each other, making him only want to tease you more. “hm?” he raises a brow, kissing your pussy before looking up to your frustration, “what, baby? use your words,”

“want you, want you now,” your hands card through his hair, tugging him up impatiently. he complies with a huff, rising to his feet but allows his hand to slide down to your glistening folds, “i wasn’t done,”

"later,” you manage with a sigh, swallowing down the pleasure building up as your fingers nimbly undo his belt. he smirks at your desperation, leaning his forehead on yours as he continues to rub his fingers up and down your slit, playing with your wet folds as he elicits more subdued sounds of pleasure from you, “mm, you’re drenched, baby,”

he doesn’t know how he’s laughing but he always does when it’s with you. the way you’re enjoying this yet hating it at the same time when you can’t undo his belt. you let out a soft fucking shit, glancing down to yank the buckle and popping open his jeans, half-glaring at him as you do, “and whose fault is that?”

he’s about to retort with a snarky comment but moans loudly at the feeling of your hands freeing his cock and stroking him almost immediately. his lips are in search for yours, ardently kissing you; effectively shutting himself up and getting lost in your lips. your hand movements falters when frank easily slides in two fingers in you–soon adding three–stretching you out deliciously yet craving for more. he’s not too far away from you in need, bucking his hips into your touch as your thumb strokes the tip of cock, leaking with pre-cum.

“f-fuck–baby please,” you whine, finding your throat feeling sore and it’s getting hard to breathe with frank relentless with his fingers deep in you; driving out and shoving back in again and again until the coil from within feels like it’s about to burst. before you can, he stills his movements with the roll of his eyes, giving into your plea and well-aware of what you really want. “only because you said please,”

he stops to appreciate your beauty as he shoves his pants down and kicks it to the side. hands gliding over your waist to pull you closer towards the edge, towards him. you anchor yourself with his shoulders, tugging him down to kiss you and he does so willingly. you hum in delight, adoring the way his hand trails up your leg and sneaks under your dress and nudging your thigh to spread open wider. frank’s kisses are addictive, much like the man he was as it is distracting. you sharply lean back with a moan when you feel him filling you up, your walls welcoming and swallowing him.

he takes this moment to pepper kisses down to your neck, burying his face there as he sings words of praise. all about how he much he loves you, how lucky he is to be with you, all you. his hands greedily slide behind your back to unzip your dress, allowing it to pool around your waist as he wastes no time in unclasping your bra with one hand to free your breasts. you hear him groaning at the sight and not long before he’s squeezing one side, the other already in his mouth as he sucks on your nipple, eliciting a long sigh.

your hands find the hem of his shirt and give it a tug, him refusing to move away at first but complies to shift back to yank his shirt off and tosses it to the side. you’re marvelled by the sight time and time again, hands meekly running over his defined chest and he shudders under your touch when you grip onto his waist; nails almost digging into his flesh as your hips buck forward; a signal for him to move.

frank reads the signs, like he has them written on the back of his hand. he pulls out and slams back in–effectively rendering you breathless. slow, languid movements to ease you into the rhythm, soon flies out the window when he’s thrusting into you with a newfound eager to chase for your orgasm. it makes your eyes roll back, almost seeing the stars as the warmth starts building up inside. he uses a hand to keep your hip in place, the other cupping your jaw as he kisses you messily. lips askew, teeth clashing, moans overlapping each other’s and then you were staring into his dark eyes piercing your own as you feel it coming.

your breathing grows heavy, accompanying the obscene sounds of your bodies meeting one another’s and frank’s groans of pleasure as he twitches inside you, feeling his orgasm approaching. his hand on your jaw moves down, flicking your dress aside to find your clit. upon contact, his thumb harshly rubs tight circles, threatening your eyes shut but with the way frank’s watching you, you can’t. your hands frame his cheeks, whispering how much you love him and he only nods in response; answering with his eyes and the movement of his hips that go faster, and faster, until it snaps inside of you with shivers engulfing the pair of you together.

a few more rapid thrusts and you cry out into his shoulder; the same time he ruts inside of you as he fills you up. it makes you mewl in satisfaction, loving how warm and full you feel as your walls milk him out before he stays still; deeply embedded in you. he’s catching his breath, allowing you to do the same, that is until he can’t resist to make you shift back from him so he’s able to capture your lips with his. you whine into his mouth when you can barely breathe but he ignores it, only kissing you harder until you manage to cradle his face in your hands to nudge him back.

from an irritated look, it melts away when the two of you giggle, frank leaning his forehead on yours with his hands on your waist, rubbing mindlessly against your hipbone. there’s a mutual want to stay connected; frank doesn’t pull out, you don’t want him to either. you’re left to stare into his eyes with a small smile; the post-coital bliss is a glow that compliments your features, making frank’s heart skip a beat the more he stares at you.

“you’re so pretty,” he murmurs, the back of his hand stroking your cheek.

“you’re not too bad yourself, adler,” you tease, thumbs going over his beard playfully, allowing the silence to envelope the pair of you. the longer you’re staring into his eyes, the more it’s making your heart full. yet, you can’t help but grow shy, despite everything that happened.

“what’re you looking at me for?” you mumble, hands now squishing his cheeks, trying to direct his gaze elsewhere. he scoffs a laugh, stubbornly remaining his vision to your direction, unable to smile as wide when you hold him captive by his face, “what, now you’re shy?”

the thought alone makes frank laugh harder than he thought he would, more than you would. still, it’s a nice feeling. being able to easily reveal a smile that looks good on frank. when the hilarity subsides (and the face squeezing tones down), you’re left to stroking the under of his eyes tenderly, admiring his features as frank does the same, unable to pry his eyes off you even if he wanted to. “made you laugh,” one of your thumb boops frank’s nose, easily bringing his smile back again. he leans in, the subtle movement reminding you he’s still in you making you squirm as he kisses your lips softly, trying to ignore the heat slowly rising from within him as well. “you always do,”

“lucky for you then, huh?” your hands slide over his shoulders, locking behind his neck with a cheeky grin. “very,” both of his brows wiggle slightly, barely giving you time to process what he’s about to do when his arms swoop around your waist, heaving you onto him despite your dress still hugging your waist. you can’t pay mind to it when it’s an angle that amazingly brings out a moan into frank’s ears like a symphony he’d replay again and again.

“let me show you how grateful i am for that, baby,” he whispers into your ears before taking big and quick strides to reach the bedroom. before you express how good it feels, you’re certain your clothes are still scattered by the kitchen.

“our clothes!” you yell, just as he pulls out and tosses you onto the bed, waving a hand at you as he slams the door behind him and gets on top of you. “i’ll take care of that later. for now,” you squeal as he lies chest down on the mattress, already settling between your legs as his hands pull the dress off of you without much struggle. his eyes growing dark at the sight of his cum leaking from your pussy and he licks his lips, “let me take care of you as promised.”

((the night was almost coming to an end as you lay in bed with frank. his arms lazily around your figure, bare bodies tangled beneath the sheets. your cheek presses to his chest, the hair tickling you in the loveliest way possible as you find yourself drifting off to sleep. yet, not quite when frank’s voice gets your attention.

”baby, you asleep yet?” he continues to play with your hair, stroking the back of your head, his other hand caressing your skin leisurely.

“mm, almost,” you hum, lifting your chin up to him as he gazes down to you, “something on your mind?”

it’s moments like these frank appreciate show you’re able to read him. similar to how he notices your antics and the thoughts written all over your face, now you’re able to pick out the ones frank’s displaying on his features.

“i’m guessing... you overheard the conversation with that guy at ferg’s?”

he tries not to pout but it’s already there, “...yeah,”

it only makes you laugh quietly, reaching up to kiss his jaw. he dips down to reach for your lips, rewarded with a couple more kisses before he leans back onto the pillow.

“well... had you stayed longer to listen, you would’ve heard how i told that guy to piss off or my boat-repairing-man would beat the shit out of him for disrespecting him and my choices of being with him,” you’re glad to see frank smiling again–like it’s your sort of power you’re able to do. (and he knows it, too)

“doesn’t matter if he could... buy me a damn castle or let me meet the queen for five minutes, all of that doesn’t matter,” both of your hands smoothen on his chest, giving him a small pat as he adores the glow in your eyes dreamily sparkling at him, “i’m with you, for you. and i’d want nothing more than just you,”

he snorts, “even when i’m all greasy?”

you nod a little too enthusiastically, causing him to laugh, “especially when you’re all greasy,” you pat his chest twice, getting his attention, “we’re saving water and have good sex? heaven truly is on earth,”

as you continue to animatedly talk about how saving the water is beneficial for not just the two of you in terms of water bill but for the planet, frank’s nodding with a oh yeah, sure, of course every now and then. well-aware that it was your little rouse to get him annoyed when in reality, frank adores it. how you speak your mind and still hold value to what truly meant special to you. when you’re laying in his arms and your eyes have the stars he wishes upon for happiness, frank has to agree with you.

heaven truly is on earth. and he’s laying in bed with it every night.))

#60DaysofChris #Jtargaryen Summer Challenge #frank adler smut #frank adler #frank adler fics #frank adler fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fanfic #this is my first frank adler fic so im just #very nervous #but excited that i finished it!#<3 #im..... also gonna keep writing more frank adler because #this man #this man is really something guys #:#ahhhh so i started writing this and stumbled upon the challenge and thought it was worth the shot :)

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