#also idk if you know this op since this was in the golden age run

[pluckyredhead]

Please Care About Aquaman With Me: New Millennium, New Magic Water Hand

Welcome back to Atlantis! Last time, things were going pretty okay for Arthur and company! Don’t get used to it.

CW: Ableism, specifically regarding autism.

The previous Aquaman run, the 1994 volume, ended in 2001. It’s two years later, and the status quo has changed drastically, mostly thanks to a Justice League plotline called The Obsidian Age. The first time I read the 2003 series, I thought that the initial writer (Rick Veitch) didn’t do a good job of summing up The Obsidian Age for context. Now that I’ve read The Obsidian Age, I understand that that’s impossible, because it’s incomprehensible.

But here’s the short, relevant version: during a massive interplanetary war, Arthur decided to keep Atlantis safe by having Garth use magic to transport the entire city and all its inhabitants centuries into the past, to a golden age in Atlantean history known as the Obsidian Age. (You know how I keep saying Garth is ridiculously OP? Yeah.) This turned out to be a bad call, since this so-called golden age was actually ruled by a tyrannical queen, who enslaved the modern Atlanteans (and turned Arthur into sentient water and kept him in a swimming pool, lol), and Garth and the JLA had to go back in time and rescue them, and most of them died in the process (they got better).

ANYWAY. The Atlanteans are back in their home time now, but they are pissed, because Atlantis was above the surface during the Obsidian Age, and now it’s underwater again, and apparently by resubmerging Atlantis, Arthur basically did a blasphemy, even though it saved them all from slavery centuries in the past. Sure.

Et tu, Vulko??? I mean, I guess this is par for the course for you these days.

Arthur is left to die. He manages to break free, but Atlantis has been taken over by the Evil Wizard Political Party, who have turned the fish against Arthur (lolll again), so he can’t go back into the ocean. He staggers inland, to a lake, where he meets the Lady of the Lake. Yes, that one:

She calls him a hero and replaces his harpoon hand with a hand made of magic water:

Arthur falls in with some fisherpeople, including a lady who he’s very flirty with, and decides to just stay in Ireland indefinitely I guess? (Oh yeah...he’s in Ireland.) But what’s going on down in Atlantis?

Well, it’s not great:

The scaly dude is Hagen, leader of the sorcerers and the new prime minister. That’s Mera under all that coral (?); Hagen and his cronies are keeping her magically drugged and then using her authority to do whatever they want.

Mostly "whatever they want” involves...making giant monsters with sex magic?

Yeah, these two fuck in the water over an open volcano and giant mutated sea creatures come out of it. That’s a thing. That happens.

Anyway. Rodunn, the former captain of Arthur’s guard, is told by Hagen that he has to kill Arthur properly if he wants to be the captain of Mera’s guard. He goes to Ireland to murder Arthur, but the giant mutated sea creature he’s riding attacks him, and Arthur saves him and then heals him with his magic water hand:

Rodunn goes pretty much completely around the bend at this point, but at least it’s in Arthur’s favor. He basically returns to Atlantis and starts running around babbling about Arthur like he’s Jesus.

Meanwhile, Garth shows up to tell Arthur that the situation in Atlantis is bad: he’s not allowed to see Mera, he and Dolphin and Cerdian are under house arrest (he escaped), and also there’s the weird volcano-fucking-to-make-monsters situation. Arthur’s like “But Atlantis hurt my feeeeeeeelings.” Garth has no patience for his whining:

He projects their souls into the bodies of fish so that they can enter Atlantis and Arthur can see how bad things are. They see Mera being forcibly drugged and Arthur is furious, but when they get back to land he’s like “Idk...maybe I won’t save Atlantis...” until Garth’s like “Uh, Mera, though?” and he’s like “Oh shit u right.” The WORST husband, I swear to god.

Unfortunately, Arthur’s magic water hand isn’t supposed to be used for violence, and he totally punched Rodunn with it before. This awoke an ancient evil called the Thirst that is now going to...drink the Lady of the Lake and her sisters, unless Arthur stops it.

GLUK GLUP GOLP

Also, Black Manta shows up pretty much completely at random, at which point it’s revealed that he’s autistic, and that’s why he’s been a baby-killing supervillain all this time. YEAH. THAT HAPPENS. FUCK THIS COMIC.

Arthur uses his magic water hand to “cure” Manta:

HOO BOY.

Manta’s like “Omg I’m so sorry my autism made me evil, can I team up with you and defeat the Thirst?” Garth’s like “This seems like a really bad idea, and also, what about Atlantis???” Arthur tells him that he’s pretty sure him defeating the Thirst will free Atlantis, SOMEHOW, but that Garth should go back home and find Vulko or Rodunn to help him...overthrow the government or something. So helpful, Arthur!

Garth returns to Atlantis and teams up with Vulko, who has been quietly working against Hagen by teaming up with an escaped experimental, uh...jellyfish man named Man O’ War, who has killed that extremely uncomfortable volcano fucking couple from before so that they can’t make more monsters.

Man O’ War’s the guy with the tentacles. He will never show up again.

Meanwhile, Arthur and Black Manta pursue the Thirst, and Arthur actually defeats him - only to be shot in the back at a critical moment by Black Manta:

I mean...I guess at least Manta’s like “just kidding, my autism didn’t make me evil, I was autistic and also evil for unrelated reasons of it’s fun”? But what the actual fuck.

Arthur gets so mad he hits Manta with his magic water hand, which causes him to merge with the Thirst into a giant water monster, OBVIOUSLY:

“A relapse.” Of being autistic. Jesus Christ.

Arthur/the Thirst (Arthirst?) travel to the side of the dying Lady of the Lake, fighting each other all the while, and Arthur kisses her, thus restoring her with love instead of violence and permanently vanquishing the Thirst. This has the added and completely inexplicable bonus of stripping away the magical powers of Hagen and his allies down in Atlantis, meaning that...Vulko and Garth are in charge now, I guess??? This makes zero sense but whatever.

With Hagen vanquished, Arthur is safe to return to the sea, and so he must bid farewell to the woman he has been flirting with for twelve issues now. She assumes they can’t be together because he’s too busy shacking up with people like Wonder Woman, and instead of explaining that it’s because HE HAS BEEN MARRIED THIS WHOLE TIME, he drops this absolute mindfuck of a line:

THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU???

Next up: Sub Diego!

[actuallyilya]

Black-Ops Characters I believe would have cats and/or dogs. Also, these are just the Campaign characters + some Warsaw pack characters!!

Dog Only

Lazar, Lazar gives off big cuddly dude vibes™ meaning he would want a pet he could bond with better. Dogs are (usually) very playful and loving. He also CONSTANTLY attracts dogs. I also think he would adopt a Golden Retriever. Idk. Vibes™

Sims, Sims seems like the type of guy who likes being outdoors. Parks, hiking, jogging, etc. So he would 100% rather have a buddy to do those hobbies with, rather than go alone. A bit into his childhood, he had another dog he grew up with from the age of 12 and up, but once he left for school/the CIA, he felt bad, and eventually, the dog died of old age :(. But I do think that he loved that dog very much and no dog would ever come close to the memories he had with him. I think he would adopt a Border Collie.

Woods, Look this mother fucker DISPISES cats. He thinks they're gremlins and refuses to ever pet one he hasn't had a bad experience, just doesn't like them, claims that 'they're satan's little bitches'. He also would rather have a pet that you can call do cuddle, rather than hope not to get scratched. He either would have a German Shepherd or Great Dane. He wants a dog that will make him seem cool 🥶😈 but everyone knows that man is a sweetheart.

Hudson, He is most definitely a dog person, He does not care about the dogs are better than cats argument. 'It's an idiotic argument, Besides, we all know dogs are better'. His dog is a family dog, she's very friendly to anyone who comes by Woods, Mason, etc and she loves his kids. At first, Hudson hated the idea of having a dog, it would be a liability, but he was the first person who genuinely fell in love with the dog. He would have a German Shepard, who is military trained because he wants to protect his family.

Knight, Look, with the very little of the information we know about him, I GENUINELY think this man would have a dog. We know he's a little on the bad side, but still, he needs some friends. Even if the friend is a dog. He would probably adopt a Kangel Shepard. Also, he loves to play with his dog very often and is super protective of the dog.

Okay, now to the people who would have cats!

Park, Look, Park is like those people who sit in front of a window with a computer/notes in front of her while her cat calmly sits in front of her sleeping or sunbathing. Okay? I love her to pieces and I know damn well she would get along better with cats than dogs. She has actually argued with Woods about it a lot. She would also have a Chartreux

"Suck it Park! Dogs are the best pets, they won't kill ya in your sleep!"

"Woods, Cats' cleanliness makes up for more than a few scratches here and there, unlike dogs who like to sit in their own filth."

Mason enjoys silence, dogs do not give silence, they are loud and he prefers cats overall, He has had his cat for a while, a few years before David joined the military, his home felt empty, He knew he had always been rough on Mason but the cat gave them a small bonding experience, Although he loved the cat, it caused an argument between him and woods (It wasn't an end-the-friendship argument but when they're drunk they definitely argue) He would have a Birman, he also heavily enjoys cuddling with a cat.

Wraith, She strikes me as those people who genuinely love working with cats or at shelters, maybe she had a cat growing up, maybe she worked at a shelter before she went all Warsaw pact. But regardless, knowing she can't stay in one place forever, she still tries to still somewhat work at shelters, she isn't open about it because it caused an agreement between her and Knight. However, he always had a friend tag along with her while going to the shelters. She wouldn't own any pets, but her favorite breed would be Burmese cats "their fur is a black as my soul"

Stitch, This guy just loves cats, As a young kid, he didn't really have many friends, he usually kept to himself, as a result, he would wander areas a lot, during one of his walks, he found an injured cat, He nursed the cat back to health and kind-of kept this side of himself a secret as his father was very 'men do the work while women stay at home' luckily it never rubbed off on him. However, Just like Wraith, he tagged along to the shelters, he didn't wear the gas mask, but a lot of his scars showed, but he found out the cats/kittens were less scared of him if he just showed his face. Although he has an edgy feel, he loves Maine coons, they are very gentle, friendly, and very intelligent (As you can see, you can tell who is my favorite Warsaw pact operator)

Who would have BOTH cats and dogs.

Adler, look this motherfucker does not want to admit that he loves both cats or dogs. He easily gets attached to animals, cats, dogs, the whole sha-bang. So either/or, He loves dogs because he enjoys working with them, such as training, jogging, etc. (Sims stopped going running with him after Sims adopted his dog, but Adler knew he couldn't be responsible for a dog knowing he's always out on missions). But he also loves cats, he loves how majestic they are, when they purr, kneed, etc. He loves it. He occasionally invites himself to Park's house to spend time with her cat, not even with her. Park doesn't mind as she knows she now has a free cat-sitter. If Adler could, He would have a Great Dane and for a cat, he would have a Bengal Cat

Naga, Over the course of his life, Naga has worked with tons of dogs. He had always appreciated them helping him in his line of work. Whether they helped him weed out a rat amongst his men, or helped make sure no one was stealing profit, I think he heavily enjoys their company. Naga has always been a little intimidating, But with a cat by his side, even more, on his lap, on his desk, such a tiny animal had so much subtle power. If the cat had a problem with you, he had a problem with you, He even decided he enjoyed having a dog so much, he adopted a dog, luckily, after a few months of trying, they both got along and peacefully sit in his office. He would defiantly adopt a Donskoy Sphynx, and for a dog, he would adopt a Cane Corso, mostly for weather reasons.

Perseus, owns both a cat and a dog, rarely going out for rough missions, he can have two pets in his life and properly take care of them, His current dog, a Siberian Huskey (perfect for the current climate) he's had for five years, his cat, a Korat, he's had for three years. He occasionally takes them both into his office as to not have lonely days, on the days he has to either a) leave fast such as for safety, Stitch, Wraith, and Knight were made responsible as they are his trustable people.

Finally, Bell. Bell loves both of them and never really owned any animals, while working for the CIA, they had a knack for attracting animals while going for walks, they usually arrived with one or two animals, even birds! Mostly kittens and puppies, but even the impossible is possible for them. Woods and Mason found this hilarious and tried not to fall in love with the animals (even if they were there for a short amount of time) Adler or Park always had to be the one to take the animal out of their hands because he knew no work would get done and a rule had to be implemented so it wouldn't happen again (news flash, it did happen, very often)

Solovetsky Ending: let's just say Adler didn't shoot Bell, Adler would take Bell to shelters and would even go with them to save stray (injured) animals. The two actually grew very close and it sort of became a hobby. Adler got his taste of animals and Bell go to feel happy for a few hours, they both learned a lot. After one night of dinner, they found a stray kitten with no family around, they waited an hour to try and see if the mom would come back since It didn't, They took in the kitten, it was an off-day for the workers, so they nursed the kitten for like four days before having to give it up to the shelter.

Duga Ending: After Perseus took Bell in, let's just say the same thing happened, they weren't allowed to be on the field because they weren't mentally able to handle war and risk of being kidnapped so they kind of stuck around the area, although it was rare, abandoned animals did sometimes appear. The first time it happened. Bell was wearing a large coat and returned freezing with only a t-shirt on. Perseus was at the front gate, waiting for some of the operators to come back, but instead, they returned, freezing, a small fluff ball was in their hands while they were slowly developing hypothermia.

"Bell?! What the hell are you doing without a coat?!"

"I-I know, B-But I-I saved a dog."