#also i'm not trying to beef with 20 somethings so let's just lay down our arms here yeah?

[wimbledon2008]

new york times source is outdated. its now being reported that his surgery went well and recovery time is expected to be 3 weeks so only wimbledon is in serious doubt. 😘

happy for him or whatever. and please take it up with tumblr dot com forward slash support that i can't tag posts for my own organization and also blacklisting purposes without them showing up in the main tag. i wish it was not this way but alas

[firebreadtroy]

ranting abt my sister sry

what everyone irl never realizes is that I've had to live WITH her for YEARS. I KNOW HOW SHE IS regardless of if she's showing that to you or not. but recently and by the creator it gives me glee in my heart she's been such a fuck up towards everyone else that now it's come to the point where even people around her that have been trying to help her be nice to her etc are now going like "wtf is your problem???"

when she ACTUALLY got kicked out of here, I've never known true fucking peace until then. when I held her down by her hair during our last fight(not even actually hitting her mind you, i literally stopped myself ahead of time) and she was yelling at me to let her go, I take so much pride in that. because after that she NEVER and I mean NEVER tried to lay a finger on me again because she knows I couldve kicked her ass to high hell and I still would

what kind of fucking sibling get genuinely physical with you(ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS) and think that's just OKAY and that I wouldn't harbor any sort of resentment or hatred towards her? that I DONT ACTUALLY HATE HER. BECAUSE I DO. I REALLY FUCKING DO.

and I really fucking hate when people ask, "oh are you related to ___?" because yeah I am what about it? I mean I wish I fucking wasn't but yeah what about her

her kids, my beloved niece and nephew have lived with us for over A YEAR because she likes to think liquor is a better thing to spend money on than her kids, she's seen her kids a total of 5 times in the whole last YEAR. my nephew forgot what to even call her ....

do I think that she needs some sort of help? yeah!

am I gonna be there for her? gods no!

we've extended our hands too fucking much as a family for her throughout basically my entire life. because for some gods reason , she despises me cause I was born or something idk she's delusional like that. not only that this bitch once said to my parents ,"whyd you even have any more after me?" THIS BITCH WAS 27 SAYING THAT LIKE A FUCKING 6 YR OLD, it's come to the point where I honestly had a debate with myself if I was ever going to go to her funeral. literally...... she's treated me like shit the entire time I've known her, all 20+ years of my life :)

and everytime someone asks the "are you related?" question, I have to go through the process in my head. do I tell them? are they aware of her and do they know?

I'd feel bad if there wasn't so many different options for her to get any form of help, it's her own damn fault she treated her family like shit and that they don't wanna be by her anymore. we gave her more chances and opportunities to just, turn her life around and start acting better, but has she ever chose to? No. Not once.

I was never raised by my sister. She never invited me when I was younger to ever do stuff with her. I never hung out with her. I was raised by my brother, and that's why i am the way I am. It's why even now me and him hang out, why me and him connect on so many things. because he's a decent person and never treated me like shit my entire life, and also cause we're fucking siblings I'm his younger sister like dude

believe me I'd much rather forget she exists altogether, but it's fucking hard to do that when my niece asks "where's mom?" and we have to tell her "we don't know, probably out doing..... stuff...." we smile at them saying those things but deep down we're all shaking our heads.

so yeah, admittedly I get a little pang in my heart when I see siblings acting like well siblings in media and shit, in specific sisters, my mind much rather goes towards thinking of my friends and how they're my family, those are my sisters.

I just don't know why she had or has so much beef with me for .... existing?? but it really has come back to kick her on the ass. and I don't care, I'll take pleasure in that. I'll take as much pleasure as I damn well please being everything UNLIKE HER, when people ask me that one question over and over again, I want their response to be "....how?"