#also i'm mad at myself bc it took me this long to realize

[retromotherfuckers]

Violet Eyes, Red

Pairing:

rhysand x reader (pretty sure it's gender neutral - there might be a "she" i missed while referring to you from the original draft bc second person pov is not how i write)

Summary:

you and your mate reunite after feyre defeats amarantha and this is the fallout of what the bitch did to him.

Warnings:

aftermath of SA - i can't really tell if it's graphic which tells me it is, loose description of a panic attack, PTSD, please let me know if I missed anything. guys, please, if these topics are triggering for you, don't read this fic. i am not responsible for your media consumption, but i also don't want to throw you headfirst into your trauma.

Word Count:

2,140

A/N:

literally broke my own damn heart with this one. rhys' trauma is so ignored and that needed to be rectified. rhys might be my second favorite bat boy, but he's still a lil baby who needs to be protected

The human girl had beaten her - the woman of his nightmares - once and for all. At the first moment he could, Rhysand winnowed. After fifty years, he knew there was only one place he could go. After all, it was the last Sunday of the month, and that Sunday was the day he and his mate reserved just for themselves. The High Lord and Lady would not conduct any business on that day.

You'd spend most of your day on the balcony. You'd serenade him with the piano. You'd fly around Velaris - creating patterns in the air. You'd cradle each other in your arms. He'd sketch out a new drawing - trying and failing, in his opinion, to encapsulate your true beauty.

One day, he broke that promise, that vow you had made, and went to what he thought was a simple trade meeting. That morning was the last day he saw you, and he still couldn't live with himself.

Those memories alone kept him breathing at times. When Amarantha stole his bed, his body, his hope.

Then the human girl showed up, and he tried to help her. Wanted to give her what she needed to beat the beast he didn't think he'd ever escape. But he had lost the will to pray for it. To the cauldron, to the Mother Above. Despite his pessimism, she persevered. The girl had won. And then he was free.

He was on the balcony before he could even think about it. After a quick glance around, he realized it was empty. At first, he felt a pulse of disappointment, but with the realization of how long it'd been, he breathed deeply. How could he expect you to keep up the tradition? Fifty years of solitude on those Sundays would have made him mad if your roles were reversed.

At the thought, he allowed himself to feel the mating bond. It had gone cold the moment he winnowed away all those years ago, but now it was as beautiful as he remembered. The pull of another person at the end of a tether, forever binding them in the purest forms of fate.

But he heard your thoughts, and he almost broke down in sobs at the sound of your voice in his head. Please come home, my love. I don't know how to do this anymore. Please. The last word, you were begging. Your inner voice, the one he had to get used to living without, was broken. Pleading for him to return - despite everything you'd probably heard.

And with that, he took action, winnowing to every room in the house so he would find you as soon as possible. He knew you were close; your scent wasn't stale. It was fresh, clinging to every piece of furniture you owned together.

It was the last room he checked, his office, where he found you. You sat in his desk chair; the leather more worn than he remembered. But the sight of you stopped him from rushing to you. Nursing a bottle of wine, you slouched on your elbows, hands in your hair, as more thoughts streamed through the bond.

I'm losing myself, Rhys. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I can't let myself believe you won't come back because that- that will ruin me. What she's doing to you, what she's making you do. I don't even know a fraction of it, but I can't stop it. I- I can't protect you. And I hate myself for it. 

He was watching you as you sent the words down the bond, the bond that had been desolate for half a century. You run your hands down your face, not looking up from your wine, the third of many you planned to drown in.

Just get through it. Please just- just survive. Do what you have to do to come home. I'll be here. I love you. My mate.

You'd only allowed yourself to talk to him once a month. Initially, you would try to send him something every day. Thoughts, images, songs you'd learned, prayers for him. You never heard anything back, and it slowly started eating away at you. It shattered your hope every time you didn't get a response.

You'd heard the rumors, Amarantha's whore, he'd been called. Every time you heard it, it ate away at you more and more. As if he would choose that - choose to warm the bed of another when you were waiting for him at home. You knew him better than that, and you winced at the thought. He wouldn't choose it, but would she force him? Was she that much of a monster? 

You had to shake that thought away for the thousandth time that night, downing the rest of the glass. As you reach for the bottle, nearly empty at that point, a hand wraps around your wrist. The touch is gentle but firm - stopping you from drinking more, but not rough enough to hurt. Instead of startling at it, the wine slows your instincts. You can only stare. The tattoos on the dorsal side interweave into vines under the sleeve. Vines you know, vines that you've held, vines that have and will continue to have free rein of your body.

Faster than you thought you were capable of, your eyes flew to its owner's eyes. Violet. The most ravishing violet. Violet you'd feared you were forgetting.

With a new urgency, you pulled yourself to your feet, your hands flying up to his face without thinking. One on his cheek, the other on his neck, pushing, pulling, grabbing, unsure if it was your mind playing tricks on you.

In your desperate touch, you missed the way he flinched.

His hands. Mother Above, his beautiful hands were on your neck too, placed at the sides. When your mind would play you for a fool, it would never let you touch him, let alone allow him to reach you. But there he was, and you could feel him. You tugged at the bond, finally noticing it was warm and delicate and sweet and serene and everything you wished you knew how to describe. 

He breathed your name, barely a whisper. "I'm home, my darling. I'm home."

"You're here." The words barely escaped you, and you couldn't stop the tears. He didn't hesitate a moment, pulling you in for a frustratingly rare and fierce embrace. You clung to each other for dear life, tighter and tighter and tighter, like he'd disappear if you let him go. Frankly, you weren't convinced he wouldn't. "You're really here."

You stood like that for a while, holding each other, when he ultimately pulled away first. "Rh-Rhys, don't go-"

"I'm not," he promised, his voice raw, kissing your forehead. He took in every inch of your face. "I just wanted to look at you. My mate."

Since Rhys had been freed by the human girl, nothing had been normal. Not that you expected it to be, but you didn't anticipate just how awful a recovery for him would be. He couldn't share your bed, and you didn't mean that in a sexual manner. He couldn't sleep with anyone else in his room - if he had even been sleeping at all. He could barely stand to be touched. You knew he wanted to be able to let you, but every time you seemed to blink, he would flinch.

You had suspicions about what went on under the mountain, but you had no idea it would be so evil.

He stood before a cabinet, staring blankly into it, lost in a memory - a memory he'd been refusing to share. You understood why, but something in you told you that you needed to see. Not just for curiosity's sake but to know how to help him. Even if it was past your pay grade.

"Rhys," You called quietly for the second time. You didn't want to touch him, shock him back to reality. The fear of that setting him off more held you back. With a harsh and sudden breath, he fearfully glanced at you and around the room, forgetting where he was for a moment. "You're at home, Rhys. You came home."

"I'm sorry," He rasped, ignoring your words. His hands pulled at his hair, and you were nervous he'd start ripping it out. He backed away from you, so far away he was caught by the wall. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Your own formed at the sight of his tears, but you couldn't conjure up what he'd have to apologize for. "It's okay, honey, you're safe. It's okay."

"I didn't- I didn't want it. I swear on my life, I didn't want to."

You shook your head, not understanding. But you knew asking what he was apologizing for was the wrong thing to do. You could see it, the shame, the regret, the blame. "I know you didn't."

He squeezed his eyes shut, buried his face in his hands, and sank to the floor. He kept murmuring apologies, pleading for your forgiveness. "I betrayed you, you have to- you have to leave me."

His words shocked you, and now you were the one that flinched. "Rhysand, look at me." He visibly shrunk at the command, pulling his hands away from his face. "As far as I'm concerned, anything that happened...there...is the furthest thing from your fault. I know there are things you can't tell me, and that's okay. I'll be here when you're ready-"

"I can't!" He bellowed. "You'll never forgive-"

"Show me the memory." You demanded, your voice quiet but assertive. But you wouldn't push too hard if he was adamant about keeping you out. You knew. You knew. Based on the way he had been acting, what had happened. But you also knew he needed to show you. So someone, fucking someone, would tell him it was out of his control. He couldn't govern everything, even if he was the High Lord of the Night Court. The words hurt as they left your lips. "Because I can promise you that I will."

You weren't a daemati, but you could see him battling with himself. Debating, if showing you what really happened, would bury him deeper under the surface or pull him back up for air.

Eventually, he released a rare sob and a barely audible "Okay."

He showed you the first time, how he just laid there like a statue as her hands took everything for herself. Then, the fifth time, when she started demanding he respond, pretend he wanted it. Then, the eleventh time, when his body started reacting. Then, by the next time, he had stopped keeping count.

He showed you, whether he meant to or not, how he prayed for it to end, prayed for someone to rescue him.

How he had been praying for you.

With the confirmation of your theory, you squeezed your eyes shut, trying and failing to hold back the tears. The angry tears, wishing you could've been the one to rip her throat out. Tears that enraged you because that was not Tamlin's kill. Furious tears because that wasn't even your kill. Devastating tears because your mate not only had to play a character for so long, but he had to endure being called her whore. Like he had any fucking say. 

Overwhelming tears because your mate was in pain and there was shit all you could do about it.

"Can I touch you?" The question shocks him, but he nods without thinking, confused at the request. You slowly lift your hands to his cheeks, brushing away his tears with your thumbs. "There is nothing for me to forgive you for. I know you didn't want to do any of it."

"But I-"

"Bodies respond to stimulation whether it's wanted or not. It's how we work." You explained slowly and carefully, keeping direct eye contact. "You forget, sweetheart. I can hear your thoughts when you show me a memory."

"I've-" His voice caught, putting his hands on your wrists, rubbing them up and down your arms until they got hot. "I've been so scared. That it's still happening. That all of this is going to go away, that she's not really gone, that I'm not really here, and this is just another tactic-"

You shake your head, finally pulling yourself together to say what you've wanted to say for weeks. "I swear on my life that I will never let anyone hurt you like that again. I will spend eternity protecting you from her and anyone like her. And if you forget that this is real, just ask me. I'll tell you."

His eyes darted between yours, furiously blinking. Violet eyes, red. Pleading craving begging praying.

"Is it?"

[greg-montgomery]

Okay so absolutely loving your writing sm <3

So I had this idea while, of course, scrolling down the aaron x reader tag so like you dont have to write it if you dont want to but i wanna throw this out here bc otherwise itll stay stuck in my brain

But like reader who is just,, incredibly shy? Like in social situations they put up a front and you would never expect them to be shy because theyre very present and speak up often despite almost blending in the background when quiet. But its a whole other story at home and such?

Like, Aaron notices and first thinks theyre uncomfortable with him but he slowly realizes that this is like, their love language ig and showing vulnerability? Quiet time, acts of service and such yk? Like, they always put up a front and to drop that (not entirely ofc but a decent amount of it) is just the highest form of trust bc theyve been ridiculed for being shy? And the shyness is much more present in the bedroom, especially when he praises them they just get even more shy and hes just so so gentle :(( like asking if theyre okay, going slowly and asking to see them when they hide their face but never forcing them to and just like praising them when they do and the praise kink of them just sticks its head up and its just the purest form of being together? Like, its not rough but gentle and its soft and theres really no other word than making love for it and its all just :(( and the aftercare the man would provide is just AHHH😭❤️

Oh dear im so sorry but i got sucked into the fandom and got obsessed by hotch and then your writing so- this is so long so imma shut up now but i just needed to throw it out there tbh before id explode from all the hotch ideas i have in my mind that im not writing myself or giving to any writer bc what if they think the ideas are weird or too long like rn- but anyway imma shut up have a nice day/night and hydrate <3 (also you might see more of me if you dont mind long ass rants in the middle of it like this one- if you do mind just tell me to shut up im not gonna be mad or anything <3/srs)

-🧽

my sweet sweet 🧽 anon <33 this took me a while to write i'm sorry!! i hope you've been well!! i think about you a lot and i haven't forgotten the kind words you had sent to me <3 i hope you enjoy this!! (and ofc i don’t mind long rants i LOVE talking about aaron <3333)

nsfw - minors dni

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“Can I, honey?” you heard Aaron’s words as he wrapped his hands around your wrists.

You had been covering your face as you usually did when your boyfriend went down on you. After making you finish, Aaron had made his way up again, urging you nicely to look at him.

With a nod of your head, you gave him permission to gently remove your hands from your face.

“There you are.” He smiled at you.

“Hi,” you said, softly, unable to keep yourself from smiling a little.

“Hi,” he answered, just as softly. “Do you wanna taste yourself, baby?”

“Mhm…” You nodded, staring at his chin instead of his eyes.

Your own eyes closed involuntarily, as he lowered himself and his lips touched yours. You opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to touch yours. Knowing where that tongue had been before it was inside your mouth, made you even more excited for what was coming next.

Aaron placed his hand on your hip, giving it a squeeze and then moved it down your thigh, wrapping your leg around his body. “Open them wider, sweetheart.”

Only a few moments later, Aaron was inside you, rocking his body against yours, in a pace slow enough to be considered both romantic and tormenting.

“Ah…”

“Good?” he breathed heavily on your mouth.

“So good…”

“I love you,” he moaned, his face now buried in the crook of your neck. He left open mouthed kisses on your sensitive skin after every little whine of yours. “I love your body. I love the sounds you make. I love the way you take me like you were made for me.”

“I was,” you sighed, because you really were. There was no man in the world you’d let yourself be this vulnerable around, other than Aaron. Your Aaron.

[galaxy-forgotten]

Hi, I finally got my copy of Baldur's Gate III over the summer and I'm now on my forth playthrough, someone help lmao

I'm actually in love with this game??? I'm so glad that I held off on getting it, but at the same time, I'm upset that I didn't buy it sooner 😭 I love the whole cast dearly, but given my track record w/ my favs, of course my favorite one is Astarion lol! His dramatic flair, the chaos, and his pettiness are hilarious, it's right up my alley! Also his story is amazing, oml

I brute-forced my way through my first run of the game lol. During my first playthrough, I essentially (accidentally) speedran things bc I didn't understand how time worked (I basically never long-rested and abused the short rest system + potions bc I thought that I'd miss things or accidentally would trigger events), and I missed so much lmao. I missed the Owlbear, I missed a lot of characterization, and I even missed Karlach and Lae'zel! I couldn't find out how to get to Karlach through the Risen Road, and I left Lae'zel behind bc I took Shadowheart for her word when she said that Lae'zel just left us 😭 I was so mad when I went back and actually found them, only to realize how strong they were and how I needlessly got my ass kicked so bad in the Goblin camp, it was embarrassing 💀 I even got the alternative scene where Astarion just straight-up admits he's a vampire instead of trying to bite me! I was just trying to go w/ the flow, and I almost ended up letting Shadowheart do her Dark Justiciar thing (she chose not to), I let Astarion ascend briefly (the Gur kicked my ass so bad that I went back and reloaded before the ascension just to avoid the fight, I had no way to heal lol), and Gale pulled up as the Silver Surfer to my reunion camp and I was so mad 😭 Second playthough gave me more of an opportunity to see what I missed, and it was amazing!! Taking my time to long rest and actually get to know the game and its characters did wonders, wouldn't you know it lmao

Of course, while I did romance Astarion my first playthough, I actually didn't know who to romance coming into the game! I was immediately charmed by Gale when he was introduced, and I was almost convinced to go down his route bc I love his little quirks lol (fellow booklover myself). I believe that if I actually made the decision to romance him first, he'd be my fav, but Astarion took the cake for sure, I've romanced him 3 of my four playthoughs lol. Will be going down other routes as well, I'm not done with this game!!

I've been trying to get into DnD for a while now (since high school!!!) but of course, this game is what finally gave me the push to start trying to learn how to play! I'm a storyteller by nature, so it's something that I feel like I'd love! Pray for me as I try to get a hold on the rules and stuff lol

[soulprompts]

I had a few quick thoughts in the middle of the night when i read your prompts and comments, so, i thought: ''Just made this roleplay blog a week ago and i'm too insecure to ask anyone for roleplay''

But here i am, reading to get some inspiration even if i don't roleplay right now or have mutuals because everything is foreign to me, thank you very much, at least i can daydream about silly scenarios :")

hi my friend! let me start by thanking you for sending this in, i'm so glad you like my prompts, and i'm very touched that you reached out! i also wanna say that you can absolutely skip the next two paragraphs, i'm waffling, i love waffling, i refuse to change this about myself!

now i wanna respond with a few little-known facts about myself. when i first joined tumblr, years and years ago, i made a natasha romanoff blog because i thought it'd be the best way to start up in the rpc. it took me a month, a MONTH, to so much as follow another soul on that blog. and it was a mess, like i didn't have a rules page, i didn't have a bio, i had very limited understanding of the rpc, i was just this teenager who was beyond pumped to write with people! then i realized my anxiety outweighed the excitement and i did nothing for a solid month.

then, after that month, i guess i just chose a rare moment of confidence to start following people, and they helped me massively, i still write with them to this day! but part of the reason that i wasn't hitting it off with a lot of people was because i really didn't feel comfortable writing natasha romanoff. like, it felt like an obligation. and i suppose i picked her to please people, and i'll always stand by this, it was the dumbest thing i ever did! so then i started writing my female OC, and i am still so lucky to have surrounded myself with friends who love and support her to this day, and because i was passionate about writing her story, i began to gain more mutuals! bc people can pick up on that, yk? they can always tell when you're really invested in something. i wrote five paragraphs about my OCs moisturiser (nivea) and honestly i'm very proud of it!

'blue, why are u talking about this?' excellent question! it's because in the month i was literally taking a vow of silence, i still scrolled through the dash. i wanted to understand the rpc in my own space! i read prompt lists, headcanons, ooc posts, threads, drabbles, metas, you name it. and while i was reading them, like you mentioned, it DID feel foreign!! and that's the BEST way to describe it! it's a whole new language, a whole new set of rules and norms and systems to understand! isn't it absolutely wild how we just expect people to figure it out over night?? madness! you're doing so so well just by being here and getting yourself familiar with this place! even if you spend the next year just reading prompts and thinking of scenarios, you're still doing a fantastic job!

tumblr can be a fantastic place, but it's still a brand new experience, and most of us have been here for so long that we understand the general gist of what's going on. we know the good, the bad and the ugly sides of everything. and what i always strive for in this particular blog is to have a space where people can ask for help and support one another, because let's be honest, if we can't do that, then why on earth are we calling ourselves a community? so if you have any questions, or if you want some help, please don't be scared to ask! i can already tell that you've got the perfect mindset for the rpc!

[heavenbarnes]

Cosmos, I'm really tearing myself to pieces over some dumb mistake I made and I just need some reassurance if that’s okay

I used to be super close with this one person, we even considered calling what we have a queer platonic relationship. They had a friends with benefits thing going on with this super cute guy and he also seemed interested in me—I asked if they’re okay with it, they just didn’t want me to get intimate with him. Fine by me!

Guy and me kissed while we were both drunk, several times. My friend freaked out and got really nasty towards me, even tho they admitted that they didn’t make that boundary clear after I asked several times.

Things fall apart a little and they tell me to stop apologizing because they don’t wanna hear it. I understand! I should’ve stayed away from that guy from the beginning bc like what am I doing?? They don’t let me explain and threaten to block me.

So, I try to give them space. We have a bar we frequent a lot with a shared friend group. I ask them if it’s okay if I go there, they say they’d prefer me not to but then two of my other buds tell me they’d really love to see me. I go and they send me a voice message sort of accusing me of disrespecting their boundaries on purpose—I absolutely understand that it was incredibly unkind of me to go even after I asked and they said no. I wanted to apologize for being a very inconsiderate friend but they sent me another voice message threatening to cause a huge scene if I show up at that bar the next few days and that they’d block me if I respond or apologize in any way.

I would’ve loved to explain myself and apologize, but I also understand that it’s just frustrating and doesn’t fix anything for them. I respect their wishes!

That all happened about a month ago and today I really messed up again. They’re a system and are constantly looking for other systems to befriend! I met another system that decided to transition the body at a party today and they asked about my friend, so I gave them my friend‘s public instagram account.

Big mistake!! They basically told me it’s incredibly unsafe and invasive for me to do something like that. They don’t know that system and want me to ask before doing something like that. I absolutely agree that this was 100% a super stupid mistake on my part, I should’ve used my brain. I said as much but they once again just got real nasty with me and told me I have no common sense.

Don’t worry, I think they have every right to be angry at me for this. I could’ve given the other system their discord server, system account, or asked first!! I really fucked up there and put their safety on the line, but I clearly didn’t do it out of malicious intend. I thought I was connecting people (still no excuse)!

Would I be horrible for deciding to stop trying to be their friend because of their nasty behavior towards me? Because I apologized a million times over, tried to explain myself, and even respected their boundaries after they threatened me.

I‘m not mad at them for being angry, they have every right to feel the way they do, but they swore at me, threatened me, called me stupid and implied that I’m doing all of this out of malicious intend. I just can’t handle someone in my life that will consider me an evil person for making honest, human mistakes.

My friends all say I should give them time and all will be good, but they don’t really understand that their behavior towards me wasn’t okay either. That guy they have a thing going on with is the only one that agrees with me to a certain extend. He offered to read the messages for me because I was shaking and crying because I felt like the worst friend in history and he was aghast. I wouldn’t have realized that they were being a little cruel towards me if he hadn’t pointed it out!!

I‘m sorry this is so long, I just feel like such a shitty person but I also want to stand up for myself a little. They have a tendency to put people around them down and I just took it for the longest time. I messed up big time, yeah, and I deserve to feel the consequences of my impulsive behavior. But am I really that bad? Am I a shitty person?

(ok, you have to understand really quickly that i’m 25 years old and i live in a very rural area in a very small island country - i have absolutely no idea what a large portion of this message means but i will do my best 🫶🏼)

do you want my harsh honest opinion? stop asking this person for permission before you live your life

sure, checking with them before you got close with a person they were hooking up with is valid but do not be asking other people if you can go to a bar to see your friends, you do not need anyone else’s permission to live

frequently throughout this message you have absolutely torn yourself apart and made yourself out to be like, the worst person ever, and it’s fundamentally not true

without knowing the whole story, i think this other person has a lot of stuff going on with them and they seem to be taking any chance to make it your fault when really- there is very little correlation

let yourself be, live your own life and if your paths intersect with this person again, that’s cool- but if they don’t, that is probably for the best

you aren’t horrible, your aren’t terrible, you are a human being that is doing their very best and doesn’t exist to benefit other people- take care of yourself, my friend

(i’ve just called my younger sister and she’s explained to me what “system” and “transition the body” means - apologies for not knowing that sooner i’m unsure if this advice applies in this context, perhaps take it with a grain of salt)

[balkanradfem]

About your situation, I think it might work out, but you also need to be careful. I personally had that women, when disappointed with men, tried to flirt with me, or toy with idea of being with women, but they often turned back to men after, because being with women is not easier and comes with own set of shame and social setbacks, so they are not ready. So personally I would keep distance untill I see that other woman has strong conviction she is into women now (lesiban or febfem), because my exprience trying to better men while she is also actively is into men simultaneously was traumatic. I can't better them, not in the eyes of a woman with patriarchal mindset. Not in terms of owning more money and resources, as it was what the woman I liked looked for.

And seconds, personally I sometimes mask as het, like fish out some 15 years old experience of when I man romantically chased me to keep up with conversation, I stopped doing it because I realized it makes me very depressed, but at some point I was doing it without thinking, out of fear not to appear het enough. So maybe it was her case to extent also, sort of probing. I don't know.

And third, eastern slavic women (as i'm one too) often fooled me like that, because they can be very flirty and adoring you, but they limit it strictly to 'friend' level. Or, we often tend to think that it's ok limit to how friend interact. I upon some thinking began to think I rather find it ok, it's better if women have affection to each other, but it makes me confused often. Where I go eh why does she hug me so much? but then ah it's just friendly thing for her, ok.

I had experience when a new friend I was meeting was really looking me over, I would suspect it's almost as if she invited me on a date, she also tried to carry my bag (after asking to carry her things in my back, which was a bit weird). So it's something men often offer to do on dates, I refused, but paired with that awkward long looking me over, I felt like she's having instant crush on me. But then she mentioned husband, and I was all "????????". Granted everything is bad with her husband and she plans divorce, so maybe she wanted a support in the meantime, but I felt it to be unjust towards me.

Bottom line, my experience, women often look for being with other woman, but all the experience I had like that, they did not take it with serious conviction, but took it as silly adventure that does not need to lead to anything, if their mindset is patriarchal still, and I felt degraded, bc I was serious, and they seen me, I felt, along with my feelings, as funny puppy to make them feel better. Like, if they are very patriarchal in their head, they try to harvest my energy the same way the men try to do that, and because they are women, I let my guard down. But now I learned to be cautious.

So if that was me, I kept that friend at friendly distance before I learn more of her opinions on life and how set she is in wanting to pursue women, maybe encourage her a bit, but not jump right in. Because I burned myself.

Hey thank you for this detailed and insightful advice! I am so sorry your experiences with women were so painful, that was extremely shitty, I would also feel degraded and crushed if women thought I was just a side adventure when I felt seriously about them.

I see that you've been subjected to the same madness upon having women who are married/not interested, do flirting actions, that is insane. Why are they torturing us. Is it fun. Do they enjoy making us confused and baffled. What do they get out of it. I need them to stop that!!!

And don't worry, I used to have a crush on her, but since she called me child names I know it wouldn't work out, I am now completely set on never trying to date her, I merely wanted to know what her orientation is and be friends. At this point if she even wanted something I would either say no or stop it very early on. I'd say she's too pretty for me so it cannot work out xD thats my plan at least. But I'm still waiting just to see if she's straight, we cannot get out of this confusion.

[golbrocklovely]

everyone deals with traumatic events differently, maybe Colby chose to keep working for the purpose of keeping busy and to take his mind off this terrible thing that he was going through. It's a very human coping mechanism.

I say this because this is my escape mechanism for some medical things that I have gone through similar to Colbys, the doctors even encouraged me to keep busy and to try and continue doing things like work and tbh if I hadn't I think I would have given up or lost myself to the darkness.

So taking a break is all well and good but it might not have been what he needed at the time for his mental sanity (we already know in one moment of quiet where he was not keeping busy he messed around with the bald filter on his phone which is a hint that quiet doing nothing time allowed the thoughts to seep in, because they do seep in anytime your not finding some way to keep busy when going through that), so please don't be mad at him for not taking one when he was going through it all.

By the sounds of it from the podcast now the stressful thing has passed and he has the all clear they are planning some kind of holiday in November, hopefully it will be a long one because I do agree Colby especially needs a break. I also agree that he needs to talk to a professional now as well and maybe he does but we don't know about it, I mean it took ages for Sam to confess to seeing someone as it's a very private thing and not everyone feels comfortable saying they see a therapist especially if they are under the publics eye.

i'm not mad that he didn't take a break. if it's coming across like that, that's not my intention. if anything it's heartbreak for him, maybe frustration at the most. i agree with you that he probably had to work thru the diagnosis and chemo bc otherwise it would have gotten bad for him mentally. that's for sure. and i get why he did it, bc at the end of the day he's a work horse. both him and sam don't know how to take an actual break, with absolutely no working whatsoever. i mean even posting for us or anything. they don't know how to do that.

my issue is that it seemed like, to me, that he needed a break way before even finding out he had cancer. last year wasn't exactly a great time for him. he seemed really upset for a while, even talked about not really liking himself/his appearance. it seemed like, to me, his summer was kinda spent feeling this way. along with everything else that went on last year, i just think the last half of the year he seemed off.

then on xplrclub, they did a final podcast at the tail end of december and he talked about his vacation by himself for three days in hawaii - one of them being christmas itself - and that was the most enthused i've seen him in a while. he seemed so happy to take a break. he even joked about looking at real estate in hawaii. and sam…. talked about wanting to jump back into working, but knew nothing would happen until after new years since ppl don't start working until then. and colby, to me, did not seem happy to get back into things. he didn't seem upset, but you could just tell he probably wanted more time to chill out. they talked about how much work they had last year and how they weren't sure how to top that (as if any of us really needed them to do that, but that's besides the point). and colby has mentioned on more than one occasion about getting overwhelmed and stressed out over the workload they set for themselves.

all of this is to say, that while i get why he worked during the entire cancer process, chemo included, it clearly didn't help him in the long run. bc he never got to work thru what having cancer even truly meant. he literally lost a body part and went thru something traumatic and did not process any of it. i get preoccupying yourself, but that doesn't mean you force yourself to not realize what you're going thru. that's no better. i mean, he said it himself that he doesn't even think he's come to terms with the fact he had cancer and that he lost a part of himself. and that he's gonna have to deal with that for the rest of his life. he himself said that almost verbatim on xplrclub. again, i get not wanting to lose yourself to the darkness, but you can't ignore it either. it's still gonna be there whether you turn your back to it or not.

that's why i feel like after he knew he was cancer free, instead of headfirst diving into work again like nothing happened (after a week of binge drinking in japan), he should have took time to really heal or actually take a break. bc it seems like once he had an ounce of time to think about all he's been thru, it was too much for him. and forcing yourself to work instead of facing your problems is not the best strategy, i'm sorry. not only that, he pointed out (based on what he said in an extended version of the 'i have cancer' video he put on xplrclub) that one of the reasons he went back into work during chemo was bc he felt like so many ppl relied on him to get better and jump back into things like nothing changed. obviously he worked bc he wanted to, but i think he also thought he couldn't take a break or shouldn't, at the very least. and that's just not healthy. it was funny back in the day for snc to joke about not having a work/life balance, but that's not the case anymore. the fact they don't have personal lives as much as they should have is concerning, not cute.

and again none of this is meant to be me saying colby's dumb or stupid for his decisions. i'm not saying that at all and i don't feel that way either. i get why he chose what he did. i just wish he understood that taking a break is also a valid, and really necessary, choice that he should make. sam included. they both went thru hell and i don't think they've realized it bc they force a smile and keep pushing on. you can only say 'it is what it is' so many times.

and as for the therapy, i truly hope he is seeking something out. whether it's with a professional or even in a group setting. just something. and i get him not wanting to tell us if that is the case. totally understandable, i don't fault him if he is seeking treatment but isn't saying anything to us. i don't personally think he is just bc he hasn't even alluded to it and he has always talked so positively about mental health and seeking treatment when you need it, that i find it a bit strange for him to not mention it if he was. but again, it's his choice and if he wants to tell us, cool. and if not, also cool.

[mmmlonely]

Okay! I cut my hair today, and I really like the way it came out. Wasn't too drastic I just kinda lifted it off my shoulders and it looks good. Did a better job than last time. Still kinda disappointed I can't have long hair without feeling too feminine and I do already miss the long hair, but it's still in my style and ik I'll be seen as more masculine to the general public so that's a plus ig.

This haircut kinda made me realize something tho! Doesn't even have to do with the hair at all surprisingly! My shirt got really fucking itchy so I took it off. And usually whenever I'm in the bathroom for Any reason I'll turn off the lights to avoid seeing myself (and prevent picking at my skin, tho that's a different story). But obviously I can't cut my hair in the dark. So it's been a long time since I last actually saw myself in the mirror. The surprising part is that I don't really hate it? Like, okay, I've got tits. Still don't really enjoy that fact, but I didn't feel the panic that I used to have this time? I mean it'd be great to get them off but it doesn't really seem like a priority, in some weird way. (Gonna start describing my body bc I wanna get this feeling into words and have something to look back on when the dysphoria hits, don't keep reading if you don't wanna hear that) I kinda have a dad bod. At least I think this is what people mean when they say dad bod, broad shoulders and some extra weight but not really in a bad way. Not a beer belly bc I don't drink, and also really not That pronounced, but like again I'm not fit at all so it's there. (Side note bc this makes me happy!! Went to the doctors recently, I've stayed a very consistent 180lbs for like the past 3 years⁉️ I used to feel bad about it bc I am decently overweight for my height according to those stupid bmi things but like. It hasn't changed in either direction so obviously I'm healthy And now I'm feeling good about the way I look so who gives a fuck <3) anyway back to my "dad bod" ig! My tits are unfortunately pointy bc that's just what they do ig But I'm not mad at the size of them, do I wish I was flatter? Yeah obviously but again like. I'm really not that much different shirtless compared to when I see my dad or my younger brother shirtless. Again unfortunately pointy but I do not care, that only makes a bad silhouette while I'm wearing a shirt and I'm Not rn so >:) I look like a guy. Genuinely. My torso is more rectangular than I used to think, I actually really like my shoulders, and my weight is playing to my advantage and helping me feel okay about my body pre-op. Oh and hair!!!! Okay this might be weird but body hair is actually so important to me bc it's such a stereotypically masculine thing (and even if it wasn't I think I'd still personally want it bc it fits the vibe). I don't really have chest hair but there's like a little bit⁉️ it's really not noticeable and like if I was a cis guy I don't think I'd want it but this is nice rn. And!!!!!!! Idk what it's called so this is gonna be an unfortunate description but yknow the hair that some guys have that's like a line that goes from their belly button down to their dick? I have that‼️ i don't have a dick but at least I have the aesthetic💯 That's really the only body hair I was gonna talk about in this it was just that line I think it's cool and manly of me. Ofc I haven't shaved my armpits in years and my legs are sporting some luscious locks (only really my calves tho 😭 wish it went up my thighs more like some guys have it but that's alright) and I have enough hair on my forearms that I don't feel super insecure about it. But I feel masculine rn!! That's the whole point!! Maybe I don't hate my body that much?? I still have things to complain about trust me (my hips do not fit the rectangle that is my torso and. Idk what everyone's obsession with "gyatts" is rn I don't understand it, I have one and I do Not want it bc it fucks up the side profile obviously men don't have gyatts I don't want it ❌) but like!!!! I am Comfortably laying in my bed rn in just basketball shorts and no shirt and I don't feel like shit about it!! And my desk lamp is on!! I'm not tricking myself into anything I legit just feel like good rn!!!

Thank you haircut that was mildly sad but still good for showing me that I'm most definitely a guy 😎💯 and maybe even a kinda attractive one for people who are into dad bods 😎💯 really hope my girlfriend is in that category of people 😎💯 (that's a whole other post waiting to happen tho, not gonna get into my insecurities about that rn)

Aight thank ya'll for listening 🙏

[cheswirls]

oh the woes of having multiple hobbies....

i think it being artfight month is making me sink back into the 'i shouldn't want to do anythin but draw until this is done' mood i usually have during the semester which is.. ick, kinda

the other day i had the urge to write (unmedicated too!! that doesn't happen very often anymore!) and i should've jus acted upon that but i ended up guilttripping myself w the whole 'you should do art instead its only 30 days its only once a year' which is already so suffocating. i ended up doing neither actually in part bc i psyched myself out abt making a choice so in the nd i made no choice (typical when unmedicated so this is the okay-ish norm tbh) and think i tired myself out enough to go to sleep. i woke up to an art file on my laptop so i intented to start smth i guess

also i think checking out an ipad from campus during the semester is so much easier to draw on vs the hassle that is drawing on my display tablet these days. i miss my wacom if only bc it was wireless and thin and easy to power on and get going. with this new tablet i have to plug in 3 diff cords and its bulkier nd i gotta scoot my laptop on my desk to still be in reach bc the tablet has no touch function and it takes A LOT of power and effort out of my laptop thats 12 yrs old now. it makes drawing digitally that much more of a chore tbh and is partially the reason i've doodled so much traditionally in the past year and kept all my digital art for uni work only

which another point. is uh. idk i think i'm rambling now but. last year i got super excited for artfight and drafted a bunch of stuff digitally and was sitting at the coffee table in the main room of my apt for the first time in so long and it was going well until i got rly into tetherverse again n started working on the sequel like mad and that stole away a lot of my drawing motivation. i had two handfuls of of artfight attacks sketched and only ever finished a SINGLE one last year which was terribly disappointing. and then i think realizing that at the end of the month absolutely killed my desire to work on the writing project i'd grown so passionate about too. vicious cycle all around rly.

i dont want it to be llike that this year but once again now that artfight is here even tho its a fun thing i've made it a "requirement" in my mind which kills all my passion to work on it. i think the term is... obligation? when something turns from doing it for fun into an obligation i Have to complete then i lose allllllll motivation and desire to do it. it's THEEE reason i'm always telling my dad i could never write books for a living, bc writing is a hobby first nd foremost and although i enjoy it a lot i know as soon as i become tied down to a project and i Have To complete it or face consequences then it will suck all the fun out of it

this is the same way for school and part of the reason uni's been so hard since.... ever, really, and it's jus taken me long to realise it. i get really into an art project at the start and then as deadlines and check-ins and such creep up i become less and less engaged. i have no trouble completing things in one sitting if given the time to do so if i'm 100% invested and engaged. during spring break 2022 i stayed up for almost three nights and two days and did nothing but research and write almost 25k for a fic opener. if i had work or anything else those days i literally cannot recall. the only thing i remember doing is taking a break to walk 15min to go and pay rent and that's when it rly set in how much caffeine i'd had and how long i'd been up writing.

all of that to say that if i'm into something i can waste away working until it's done. i've said this before bit making a wip folder for art Killed™ my art creating process. i used to have one file open and work on it until it was done, and if that took me more than one full day then i'd sleep on it and finish it the very next day. i don't rmember that happening very often. now i leave things unfinished all the time and its terrible. i also have a Lot Less free time to be fair but also. also. i cannot multitask so as soon as i save a wip and move on to the next it fucking bites the dust. i've gotten into the habit of leaving smth unfinished in another window on csp in hopes that i'll jump bck to it but i stopped that after a while bc i jus collect windows like i collect internet browser tabs.

i also think to go along w the time thing.. i have to mentally acknowledge that i have sufficient time to devote to smth. i'm not the type of person that can do smth for 15 min then jump up and do smth else. if i could write 100 words a day for a fic every day then i'd have far, far less wips than i do now. its harder especially to do this for fic bc a lot of what i do is longer work and sometimes i have to sink into it. if i'm writing for a 50k+ fic i haven't touched for even a month then i need time to go over what i have and what my plans are. it's much harder to work on a longer fic after a bit has passed than it is to pick up a shorter one bc it requires less time to dive back into the world. especially if its been like 6mo-1yr, before i even start writing again i gotta reread everything i've written up to that point. that takes more than a day, and i might get tired and move on to smth else before i've even finished rereading which is so exhausting. it's exhausting to work on so many diff things at once.

with art that means i gotta have time to fight w my display tablet and get everything settled. it takes so much work and effort that if i only have a couple hours, i feel like even that's not enough bc i know i'll have to stop before i'm done. if it takes me 90 minutes to get into drawing and i gotta be ready to leave in another 30 then like whats???? the point rly???? that's how i think tho!!!! it sucks !!!!! if i'm up at 8am but ik i have smth to do at 5p then my whole day revolves around that thing happening in 9 hrs. when it hits 12p i theoretically have enough time to do smth but executive dysfunction makes it hard to pick a singular task to prioritize, and when its 3hrs away from w/e i have to do suddenly nothing is worth it anymore. i'm very much a 'sink into it' creative person which means i cannot jus dive in and work on smth. i gotta have music, i gotta have some focus, i gotta be comfortable, i gotta have my mood set to w/e i'm doing, i gotta know what direction i'm going in,a nd i gotta have energy and enthusiasm to do said creative task. all of that aligning w/ inattentive adhd is so hard and makes life so miserable, but this is compounded even moreeeeeee by not being able to work unless i make my mind feel like i have ample time to do so. mainly bc if i get rly into smth then have to stop for an obligation that i'd rather do less (mainly work! rather would do anything but work but alas) than what i'm doing currently then it drains all my energy very rapidly and i get so disappointed. w/e i'm doing after, whether it be work or class or w/e, is with an air of such disdain bc it interrupted the 'special thing i was doing' that it makes life hell in all honesty. i want to put myself thru that the least amount of times possible which is why i never start anything i know i'll have to put down w/o being able to finish. let me rephrase that. being able to finish as i'd like it. working on a super long fic but writing enough for a chapter or running out of steam on my own and finishing a scene and then being dragged away to smth else is fine, bc i've "finished" on my end even if not in full. it's being interrupted in the middle of the process when i'm not ready to quit, basically. that kind of "finished" is what i mean. if i have 2 hrs and it takes me an hr to find references and i'm not exhausted after that then another 20m to sketch smth decent and only with like half an hr or so left am i into what i'm doing then what's the point?? especially when, as established, i can push a drawing into the wip folder and forget abt it if i'm no longer "into it" when i'm back and have time to draw again.

long rambling i'm tired of but basically it's the season of drawing obligations again and i wanna try this year to have fun and do what i want but ALSo not feel guilty abt doing smth that is not drawing for other ppl, which i already do so much of year round anyway (i love it, this is not a complaint). i wanna be able to write and play pkmn and read and do whatever and not feel like i Have to be artfighting every second of the day.

[pepsiwriteswords]

Hihihi! Took me more than a week, I'm sorryyy, but I'm here with prompt(s)!

For Disconnected, cause I'm writing and rereading old letters and I now have Anaya brainrot. 👍 And I actually realize I have no clue how to write prompts so… Umm… Hope this is something..?

How would Anaya feel about AIs like Cortana or Ciri? And/or if there are true commercial AIs in her world, how would she treat them?

Also, a more open ended prompt if it's better

Highway feelings for any character

Alright, diving back to letter writing!

<3

Mara!! Time is fake, it's all good. Also it took me like, a week to actually work on answering this (& I still haven't even started my letter back to you >.>) & it sat in my drafts for like, 2 more still incomplete, so I cannot throw stones, here. xP Mostly I'm just amused that I got your letters & this ask on the same day. xD

(For the record, though, I fully intend to work on my letter to you soon - I am just Tired Always & also we're moving so. Might be a minute!)

(idk how to write prompts either. mad respect for the people behind all those prompt accounts bc omg.)

Ooh, the cyborg android daughter!! Also the fact that I have apparently talked enough about any of my characters for anyone other than myself to have character-specific brainrot is just. Thank you. :)

Now, android daughter & AI!

Hmm. I honestly have no idea & that might partially be bc I don't have an iphone to ask Siri a couple questions to see how she responds & I don't use & have never used Cortana/Bixby/the Google assistant on any phone or computer I've ever owned.

No, wait, I guess I have one thing: I think she'd mostly be confused by them? Not necessarily their purpose or anything like that, but by the fact that like. Humans made an AI that could answer questions & like. Use google for them, then just. Stopped there. Like, in a world where Anaya exists & might not be that unique a creation, the existence of AIs that are still programmed to have like, 3 ways of responding to a question would be ... baffling to her, I think. Like, you ask Siri a question, you get 'sorry, I don't understand, please try again', 'here is every article google brings up when you search that' & sometimes she just tells you. Yeah, she has a couple somewhat snarky or sassy answers for like, zero divided by zero or whatever, but when you ask her those questions, it's always the same answer, word for word. Anaya would just be wondering what the point of that is, when clearly humans have figured out the answer to real, actual, can-identify-themselves-in-a-mirror AI coding/programming/whatever the appropriate word is there. Of course, she'd still be polite when she talked to them. Manners, after all. & there'd probably still be some sort of like. Feeling of kinship there.

Kind of a bonus answer: This question has made me realize that Disconnected & Distant Light could actually take place at the same time (& possibly at least one shared location -- there is nothing in my worldbuilding so far that states Anaya & co are on Earth...) & there's an AI character in Distant Light. And I think Anaya & Test would get along fantastically. (I really don't know that much about Test, & honestly, brain has not been on enough to work out how Anaya being an android might change her character. >.> It's just. Vibes. Snarky AI who has been very not-sheltered meets a snarky-but-fairly-naive android who's been both incredibly sheltered & like. Y'know. Subject to Gideon's terrible-awful-rich-mad-scientist energy for ... idk how long yet. Also just. Anaya, chose her name, covering herself in she/her pronoun pins & bi pride stuff & Test_0374, let the human that built it choose its name, knows about human sexualities & Gender Stuff but has no interest in partaking itself, has stuck with it/its pronouns the whole time it's been active ... Just. I forsee some great interactions. xP

And okay! I give! The universe doesn't want me to write right now! Once I actually thought about that second prompt for a minute, my brain was like, 'yes, I can vibe with that' & gave me ideas for like. The Black Witch & Styx. Can I put any of those into actual words, though? Nope! Quinn & Blair were gonna have a conversation about magic & the shitty things that happened to them when they were kids & their separation. And Victor was gonna meet Styx & text Natacha & it was maybe gonna be like, the beginning of that story but.

-_- I miss writing. But I also want to stop holding this hostage in my drafts so. Um.

I'm gonna tuck that highway feelings in a mental back pocket & maybe start trying to work on Styx & TBW, though.

[avosloved]

HELLO I'M JUST HERE TO SAY MY HEART DOES A LITTLE !!!! when i see you on the dash or in my activity... you are a sweet mun and odette? a fucking cutie tbqh . I'M SO LOOKING FORWARD TO RPING WITH YOU MORE? but so far your writing is just divine so pls keep at it! i love seeing you and your muse around ;A;

how’s my portayal?  |  accepting.

how DARE YOU come into my house and say something so nice??? okay but really though…….thank you so much. this whole message literally made my whole heart do a big !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also shhhh don’t call odette a cutie she might hit you. dfghjgfd. BUT REALLY THIS JUST?? MAKES ME SO HAPPY….i could cry………fuck it i am cryin….i love writing with you and ur boy too….so fucking much…..

[phobia-sweets]

Arkhamverse Dork Squad with henchwoman crush in this type of situation? 

Rogue: *Accidentally hits S/O in the face*

Rogue : *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*

Rogue : ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Crush: What’s wrong with you?!

I love specific requests /gen. This took quite long to write, bc, i'm also writing smth little for myself too :D This was fun tho

Today's song recommendation is uhhh The shower scene by Ice nine kills (hhh i love psycho so much its my fav movie AA)

ARKHAMVERSE! Riddler, Mad hatter & Scarecrow x reader

Warnings & Notes: Idk anything abt chem equipment, Jervis's part is short lol

RIDDLER

 Walking through the sewers your boss called his ‘workshop’, you were bringing in coffee – the man refused to sleep, but him working half-asleep wouldn’t be a good idea, considering all the metal and electricity he was working on an hour ago, when you left. Both your hands full due to the two cups, you simply turned down the doorhandle with your elbow. Pushing the door open with your foot, your face was met with your boss’s fist. You dropped both cups of coffee on the ground, and held your face where he had hit you. 

“Are you fucking sorry?!” He exclaimed, wrench in his other hand.

 “What is wrong with you?!” You yelled back, looking at him with wide eyes. You could practically see the gears turning in his head, seeing the red mark forming on your face and the no longer hot coffee on the ground. The two of you stood there, waiting for the other one to say, well, anything. Riddler wasn’t one to apologize, so you decided to-

 “I’m- Sorry-” His voice faltered, and your mouth hung slightly open at his words. 

 “Are you sick?” You asked in response, putting your hand against his forehead.

 “What are you- Don’t touch!” He took your hand off his forehead.

 “You actually apologised! Are you sure you’re okay? Maybe you should rest-”

 “I am fine!”

SCARECROW

 To be fair, scarecrow had asked for your help in his lab. So, there you were, handing him various chemicals and equipment while he prepared a fresh batch of toxin. You were lost in your thoughts, until you heard a yelp from him, and saw the beaker full of boiling water fall off the hot plate. Before you could move, your face was met with his fist and a bit of hot water, followed by you yelping in pain, and silence. You looked up to see your attacker, and was met with a burlap-covered face. The silence was… uncomfortable, to say the least. He – The scarecrow, was staring back at you.

 “Are you fucking sorry?” He asked, much to your surprise. The fuck was that supposed to mean? ‘Are you fucking sorry’ He punched you, not the other way around!

 “...Excuse me?” You managed to sputter, looking at him with a look of confusion. Hell, if he decided to gas you for your ‘disrespect’, you’d take it. At least it wouldn’t be another punch in the face. Instead of an answer, the silence continued on. You were about to excuse yourself, but were stopped by his voice. 

 “Are you all right?” He asked, voice gravelly as usual. You took a few seconds to respond, but nodded. 

 “Yeah… It just burns a bit, that’s all. You just scared me a bit.” You responded, watching his eyes slightly light up towards the end of your sentence. 

 “Good. You can have the rest of the day off as an apology. I’ll… continue working.”

MAD HATTER

Jervis was quite easy to surprise. That wasn’t what you had meant to do this time, but you somehow had managed to do just that. 

 You walked up behind him, carrying various fabrics for his hats. You didn’t realize how quiet you had been, and tapped his shoulder. You were surprised by him yelping, throwing up his arms, one of them hitting you square in your face, making you groan at the sudden pain. Upon hearing it was you, he quickly turned to face you. He took your face in his hands, Worry plastered all over his face.

 “Are you sorry!” He blurted out, his hat had fallen to the ground in the moment.

 “...What?” You questioned, shocked at his outburst. Considering his confusion at your response, he hadn’t realized what he had said in his worry. You saw his expression turn into one of panic, as the realization set in.

 “Oh, I do apologise, I was not very wise!” He apologised, his hands tightening around your face, squishing your cheeks at the same time.

 “Jervis, It’s okay, It’s okay, trust me!” You tried to reassure him, but not prying his hands off. 

[mystic-myrtille]

"he just feels like an entirely dofferent person who just happens to look like him"

Was he really that bad before?

I mean, let's review some stuff he's done (specifically about his relationship with Maribug, feel free to add things I forgot)

Copycat: lied about his and LB's relationship causing an akuma

Glaciator: gets mad at LB for not coming to a date she said she wouldn't come to, making it her problem and only apologizing after she did first (which she really didn't have to btw)

Frozer: basically same thing

Maledictator: tells Mari it's horrible to be happy that her bully aka his friend is leaving

Chameleon: No Marinette don't do anything against Lila even though she's in the wrong (this one's not outright mean it was just bad advice)

Ladybug: chooses the fake Ladybug over the real one bc the fake one would smooch him

Lies: sacrifices himself because "I live that look on your face when you're angry with me lol"

Glaciator 2: "they all think we're a couple lol even though we're not and you've made that clear a million times we shall kiss:) I just love you too much I can't help myself" (I cringed so hard during that episode)

Kuro Neko: gaslighting LB into thinking he's someone else because she has other superhero friends as well

Risk: gives LB shit for not wanting to so a reveal and not wanting to take risks even though it's reasonable for her tl not want those things

Generally flirting, touching or leaning in for a kiss when the time isn't right and LB is either trying to focus on the akuma or she's just uncomfortable

Just from the top of my head some things that didn't sit right with me. Take these as you will.

I'm not saying he had evil intent or that he was only bad, but those times where he acted shitty were never acknowledged by the narrative or any characters. Instead Marinette was blamed for everything because that's the show's number one rule, along with "Adrien is literally perfect like it's actually the world that should adjust to him bc it's so bad and he's so perfect". Peak girl power lol

So therefore Adrien never learned any lessons because he was never called out for anything, so he never had a moment where he self reflected on his behavior and realizing it was wrong and thinking about how to change and maybe having a hard time to change bc of trauma but he tries anyway......

And yet now suddenly all the jealously issues and the codependency and his sometimes shitty attitude just... don't exist anymore. And that's the problem. The writers and the stans act like there's so much character developement that has happened when there literally wasn't. When developing a character, you need to not just show before and after, but also when he started to change, how long it took, how exactly did he change and why did he change. Specifically when thinking about the relationship, what were the steps and reasons that lead him from sometimes not being a good partner to now being a loving boyfriend that would never pressure Marinette etc. The show delivers answers to none of these questions, they just present this new Adrichat as if he's been there the entire time. And while I like this version of Adrien, it just doesn't feel deserves that he's here bc of how he has been before.

[yourmidnightlover]

never go back

Summary: spencer notices how your boyfriend takes advantage of you and finally does something about it.

TW: titty sucking, oral (female receiving), cheating, dom!spencer, scratching, slapping (only one), cursing, choking, spencer dirty talk lol, penetrative sex, creampie. *let me know if i missed anything*

WC: 3,724

A/N - i'm using noah as the 'other man' schtick in probably all of my future one shots bc i can't find it within myself to create a new character each and every time. so your douche of a bf will always be noah miller. if you ever get a nice bf i'll be sure to change his name but for now this is what we're working with. got it? got it.

masterlist

-------------------------------

there are many things that people should go back to. schooling, maybe an old job, an old vacation spot.

your boyfriend was not one of those things.

mostly because your boyfriend sucked.

it was now a fact that spencer reid himself had come to believe quite a while ago and now, well now he had reason.

he had always felt as though you were too good for noah, similar for practically anyone in existence (himself included). he was always a complete ass to you no matter the circumstance.

there was one time the entire team had been back really late from a case that took a toll on all of you. it was emotionally and physically draining. the flight back had been delayed because of weather issues in the state you had been in, meaning you couldn't leave until days after it was solved.

any time you had gone to answer the phone, spencer would be able to see your stance and body language through the glass window. you had been apologizing for something you couldn't even control. you would narrow your brows the way you only did when you were being yelled at. you bit your lip the way you did when you were being made to feel guilty.

he was guilt tripping you for something you couldn't even control.

when you had gotten back it wasn't any better. noah had been giving you the cold shoulder. he was defensive when you asked what was wrong.

and that was only 3 weeks into the relationship.

after being together for 2 months, you had gotten flowers delivered on your desk. you assumed they were from your boyfriend, reasonably so, and went to go thank him. spencer saw the shock in your eyes when you saw your boyfriend huddled in the corner with some new intern. spencer saw the look in your eye change from sadness to anger in the blink of his own.

you took a deep breath, and walked away from the situation, completely missing the way he tucked the intern's hair behind her ear as he leaned in to whisper something to make her giggle. when you got back to your desk you threw the flowers in the garbage can, not even bothering to read the note.

it was pretty indirect, but looking into it he realized it was an issue that should've been addressed. every time the team would go out together, everyone was clearly invited. you would always decline because 'noah wanted to take me out tonight' or 'noah said he needs me, so i'll have to rain check'.

it wasn't because you were a bad person, the opposite actually. it was because noah was taking advantage of your kindness.

because any time you needed him, 'noah's out with the boys' or 'noah had to work late' or, here's a kicker, 'noah had a hard time at work'. as if you don't have a hard time looking at dead bodies while he just has to write up reports.

even when you got injured during a case, shot in the shoulder, noah seemed as though he couldn't have cared less. he wouldn't even go to your apartment to visit you while you were in recovery because 'noah didn't have time to visit'.

spencer could even recall when you went out with the girls one night, spencer being the designated driver, that you had told them how 'noah didn't want you to dress too provocatively so you had to wear something more modest'.

now, spencer doesn't care all to much about what you wear because, frankly, it's none of his business. but now that he heard how noah cared oh-so-much, he decided to wrack his brain for the 'provocative' outfits you've worn. there was not a single one that anyone should make a comment about. you looked stunning no matter what you wore, so you'd grab any man's attention no matter the clothing on your body.

but spencer? he made sure to never be that much of an asshole to you. he made sure to make up for him being an asshole.

he would grab you some morning coffee like you always had before you had a boyfriend. he would make sure to tell you that you looked lovely when you were able to go out with the team. he would visit you when you injured yourself and were lonely, he even stayed back for a few days with you to help you get through it.

hell, he was the one to get you the flowers. you had been having a rough week and spencer thought it might cheer you up. he had gifted you a bouquet of 12, blue chiffon flowers because those were your favorite.

but this was his breaking point. you had come to his apartment, once again in the middle of the night, talking about noah fucking miller cheating on you.

he had done it once before when he was 'out with the boys' you decided to stop by when he said he'd be back, wanting to just be the amazing girlfriend that you are. so when you walk in and hear your boyfriend moaning along with another woman that isn't you, you immediately run back out. you run back out and drive all the way to spencer's.  

and here you are again. spencer wasn't mad at you, it was noah he was mad at. he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

spencer had always liked you, no, he's always loved you. everything about you. how could he not? you're perfect.

but loving you how he does and seeing you being used as a toy to fuck for a certain noah miller not only made his heart ache but also made his blood boil.

spencer wasn't an idiot. he had heard the way the old morgan had referred to women. the thing is, noah is way more of a fuckboy than the old morgan ever was. and that scared spencer to pieces. he knew that you would only be missing out on team outings just to get fucked by a douchebag. he knew that the only reason said douchebag wouldn't visit you was because you couldn't fuck. he knew that the reason said douchebag was cornering that intern was to fuck her, too.

so when you arrived at spencer's place, this time you weren't crying. you were furious. you were angry and upset, as was spencer.

"he did it again, spence," you breathed out as you paced across his living room floor. "i was supposed to meet him in a few hours but i was going to surprise him and i caught him with another tramp! i didn't even confront him. i just- i just left!"

"cheated? noah?" he asked as if he didn't believe it at first, not wanting to seem like as much of a dick as noah.

"yes! cheated. god! i am so ANGRY!" you ran your hand through your hair, a grunt leaving your mouth. "and... and frustrated! and... UGH!" you sighed aggressively.

"and what?" spencer asked as he stood up, slowly making his way to you. "what else?" he said, his hand now brushing that stubborn strand of hair behind your ear.

"i-i'm..." you trailed off, getting lost in his beautiful eyes.

if you were honest with yourself, you'd admit how much you loved spencer. but you thought he'd never love you like that. not since you helped him through jj getting married. he really thought she was it for him, at least that's what you'd come to think he believed. over the years you had grown so much closer and grown such an attraction for each other that the other person knew about. it was ironic, truly.

"say it, y/n," spencer leaned over you, his lips ghosting over yours. "i need to hear you say it."

"god, just kiss me," you said, your hands flying to the back of his hair to push his mouth to yours.

there was no hesitation from spencer to give you everything he had. his hand on the side of your face remained there as his other hand drifted to your waist to pull you closer to his body. your tongues met fervently with covetous, passion, and longing yet with just gentle firmness that felt protecting and as if it was how everything was supposed to be.

"please, spencer," you quietly whispered once you unlatched from one another.

"please what, princess," he asked, his hand running through your hair.

"i just... i need you," she pleaded with him, her hands still tugging gently on his hair. "please," you put your foreheads together, breathing in each others air as you silently begged him to help you in any way that he could.

"i'd do anything for you," he whispered so delicately as if the entire team were standing right beside you. "you know i'd do anything for you."

"then do something," you demanded.

spencer took action by kissing you just as intensely as before, this time his hands went to your ass. he grabbed your thighs to signal for you to jump, once you did you wrapped your legs around his torso as he carried you into his bedroom. he set you down just in front of the bed before you began to undo his shirt, him returning the favor by undoing yours.

"god, i've wanted you for so long," he growled, nipping gently at your earlobe as he laid you back on the bed. "lift your hips," he ordered, you obeyed his every command. you always would. "good girl," he praised as he ran his hands down your now bare waist.

"please," you begged, your hips bucking up to get any source of friction. "spencer..." you trailed off.

"i know, princess. i know," he said before climbing on top of you, connecting your lips with his once again, this time much more eager than before if that were possible.

as you arched your back, he took the opportunity to unclasp the hook on your bra. you shrugged it off your shoulders to allow him to throw the bra somewhere else in his room. he finally took a breath, removing his lips from yours to admire the view in front of him.

"god, you're so beautiful," he growled before placing gentle but eager kisses along the tops of your breasts, massaging the one his mouth wasn't on.

he pressed his knee between your legs, allowing you to buck your hips up to get that release you wanted so bad. you whined as he took your nipple in his mouth, his tongue flicking past it rapidly as he occasionally nibbled on it gently.

"spen-spencer," you ran your hands through his hair, tugging gently on the roots.

"mmm," he sat his head up, trailed kisses up your throat. "god, i love you so much."

"i-i love you," you moaned, pulling his head up to connect your lips together. "i love you so so much."

"i'm so glad to hear that," he huffed a sigh of relief. "because otherwise it'd be awkward when i did this," he began trailing kisses down your body, leading down towards your center. "i'll show you what it's like to be with a man that actually loves and respects you, yea? show you what it feels like to actually be pleased by a man? what it's like to be with a real man?" he teased.

his fingers trailed around your entrance, gathering your arousal that'd been building for what felt like ages. he pressed gentle kisses around your pussy before finally connecting his lips with your clit, a low groan emitting from your body because of the contact.

"yes, please," you shot your head back, relishing in the feeling of the direct skin contact.

"hey," spencer slapped your thigh, your head shot back up to see him between your legs, a truly beautiful sight that you'd never get tired of. "eyes on me," he demanded before going back down on you, not breaking eye contact as he brought out sounds from you that you weren't even sure you could make. "talk to me, princess. let me know how it feels."

"fe-feels so good," you sighed, taking your breasts in your hands and massaging them. "i-i can-can't even think," you stuttered out, too caught up in the pleasure to form a coherent sentence.

you had felt so good as he sucked on your clit, succeeding in bringing you closer to the edge than noah ever has, but when he inserted two fingers into your entrance...

"oh my fuck!" your hands shot down to grab onto his locks, pushing him further into your body, a low groan leaving him.

his fingers didn't stop their work. he curled them at just the right spot, sending you flying over the edge. spencer used his free hand to grab onto your thigh to keep them from closing in completely on his head, still working you through your high. he placed a kiss on your clit once more before he brought his head up to you, connecting your lips passionately.

"could noah ever make you come like that? huh? could he make you feel so good you could barely even think?" he grabbed your chin in his hands, holding it in place to look at him as you shook your head the best you could. "no?"

"mm-mm," you tried to shake your head 'no' once more.

"did you think of him while i was going down on you? were you thinking about how he fucked that little tramp?" he asked harshly, you shook your head 'no' again. "oh, what were you thinking, princess?" he finally released your face so you could speak.

"ab-about how well you know my body. about how, how good you looked between my legs. about how much i love you," you replied quickly, knowing exactly what to say.

"right answer," he connected your lips once more. "what do you want, love?" he asked, peppering soft kisses along your jaw where his hands once held your throat firmly.

"you. i-i want you in-inside me," you swallowed, your hand finding his and pulling it up to your lips to press a kiss to it, then another, then another, then another. "please, doctor?" you used your best puppy dog eyes you knew he couldn't resist.

"god, call me that again," he rasped lowly.

"what... doctor?" you took his hand and started sucking on his fingers, letting them slip in and out slowly and then moving onto the next.

"fuck, yes," he growled as he pressed another kiss to your lips before lining himself up at your center. "are you sure, princess?" he traced your jaw with the fingers you were previously sucking on.

"yes, sir," you nodded. "i'm sure."

you felt him slowly push inside of you slowly to allow you to adjust to his size. you had your suspicions of how big he was, but feeling him inside of you made it all much more real.

"fuck, you're so tight," he moaned into your ear quietly as he slowly pulled back out, going in just as slow.

"sp-spence-"

"wrong," he slapped your face gently, a whimper leaving your lips before he grasped your face to make you look him in the eyes.

"doc-doctor," you corrected yourself.

"good girl," he said, feeling your pussy clench from the praise. "oh you like that?" he felt it again. "maybe you just like hearing me talk, yea?" his pace began picking up slowly. "you like hearing how this pussy makes me feel? how tight... and warm... and wet it is?"

"u--uh huh," you nodded your head the best you could as he began thrusting much more rapid, hitting that special spot inside of you with each movement.

"it seems like you haven't felt this good in a long time huh? haven't had your pussy pounded like this in a while?" he asked as he was catching his breath.

"ne-never, doctor," you confirmed, hands reaching around his back and dragging your nails down, surely leaving scratch marks all down them.

"fuck," he growled. "noah never made you feel this good princess? never made you forget how to speak in sentences? never knew how to get you going like this?"

"n-no, no! never! god, never!" you cried as you pulled his body even closer to you. "i-i'm close, please!"

"you wanna come all over my dick, yea? you want to show me how much your pussy loves it when a real man fucks it?"

that was it to let that spring burst inside of you, parts flying everywhere. you cried his name as he worked you through your orgasm, holding onto his shoulders and hair to keep you grounded.

"cum inside me, please," you begged. "fi-fill me up."

"fuck, whatever you want, princess," he kept pounding into you at a rapid pace. "god, i'm gonna come inside you, and send you back to that scumbag of a boyfriend so he can see that you're mine now. so he can see what happens when his girlfriend is mistreated and fucked by someone who knows what they're doing, yea?"

"yea, yea!" you whined, nails digging back into his skin as he released his load into you, thrusting it gently back inside after.

"god, i love you so much," he moaned into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek by your ear.

"i love you," you replied, stroking his hair to help him come down, him still inside of you. he began thrusting inside of you once again.

"don't want any of it to spill out before you get to him," he felt you clench around him one more time. "you're very responsive, princess. i like that about you."

"it-it's just you, spence. it's always been you," you pulled him in for another kiss.

this one was full of passion but not the kind of eagerness. it was full of desire and longing, pent up emotions flowing out into one another fluidly.

"now let me go see my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend," you huffed as he pulled out of you, wincing from the overstimulation. "i'll see you later?"

"i'll see you later," he pressed a kiss to your forehead before helping you gather your clothes.

driving back to his apartment, you felt rather giddy with yourself. should you have felt bad? absolutely not. he's a manipulative asshole who's used you for sex on numerous occasions, so he deserved the bittersweet irony of what was coming to him.

*get it, coming to him? lol i'm sorry i had to :)*

you knocked on the door softly, greeted by a rather chipper noah who grabbed your face as soon as he saw you, connecting your lips. his kiss was nothing like spencer's. his lips weren't as soft and tentative. they weren't plump and round, they were harsh and rough and unpleasant.

he quickly led you to the bedroom, not to your surprise. he sat down on the bed, you straddled his hips, acting as if it were spencer instead - which was pretty hard to do after knowing what he was like in the sack.

you felt his boner through his pants quickly after you got on top of him. then when he flipped you over and pulled your pants and underwear down, he was met with a surprise.

"someone's excited to see me," he chuckled before licking a thick stripe from your slit to clit, very aggressive to where it almost hurt to have the pressure. "god you taste so good, doll."

he continued at this for a while, inserting his tongue to your hole very once in a while and licking up yours and spencer's arousal with it. you faked your moans and whimpers as his ministrations became more eager, not really getting you anywhere.

after he was finished with your turn - no, he didn't even make you cum - he laid back on the bed as if he were waiting for you to get on top of him again.

"actually," you stood up from the bed, pulling up your clothes with you. "i'm done with this. we're over."

you watched his face as he took in the information just released to him. it changed from surprised and shocked, to confused, to disgusted, to angry and frustrated.

"what the fuck?" he sat up from the bed, a disgruntled look on his face. "you wait until after you cum to tell me this?" he walked over to you, arms flailing in the air.

"yea. i did. and by the way, i didn't cum," you informed him. "that's something you've never really been good at making me do. although i'm not sure how you've been able to convince me to do anything with the way you treat me."

"what do you mean? i'm a good gu-"

"shut up for one second, please," you rolled your eyes, running your hand through your hair. "i know you've cheated on me numerable times. i stayed because i thought that maybe there was a reason, but i've come to realize that i was just... settling with you," you shrugged.

"you've treated me like crap since this 'relationship' started and i'm tired of it. i know someone who not only treats me with respect and kindness, but can also actually make me cum. shocker," you chuckled.

"who is this asshole? what the hell-"

"i wasn't finished, sweetie," you spat out viciously. "he's not an asshole. you're the asshole. you're the one that's getting dumped. so this is goodbye," you turned around to walk out of his room before leaving him with one more thought. "how did his cum taste with mine?" you tilted your head innocently, smiling at his shocked face as he realized what you meant before walking out.

and you were never more glad that you didn't have to go back to him anymore.

taglist:

@muffin-cup​ @greenprisca​ @averyhotchner​ 

[kikuism]

mariam time to turn the tables!!! fav jjk characters ??? fav moments from the manga? least favorite characters? thoughts on the manga vs anime !! 🤨

ok let's go!! this is going to be Long i'm sorry

wow it's been a minute since i was in my jjk phase .... i remember when it first dropped back in 2020 and completely losing my mind bc it looked So Good and i loved the traditional aesthetics in regards to the demons and domains and whatnot. it was such a new and exciting experience for me. i also loved yuuji. i also found gojo So intriguing during those first few eps, it's embarrassing but i really thought there was so much charm and allure with the blindfold but then when he took his blindfold off i was like HUH 🤔🤨🧐 all i could think off was that tiktok of people with blue eyes hfkshfh

ANYWAY. loved the series, was super into it, and then righttttt toward the every end i was suddenly like. so exhausted. couldn't summon that same passion for it in the slightest. it sounds weird but i think i ended up burning myself out with how much i was putting into it, making edits and even writing fic, and i just fell out of it all of a sudden.

a while later i decided to read the manga bc i didn't know how long we'd have to wait until S2. my mistake was reading ALL of it in one single sitting. this means that i remember very little from that binge and also moments that were supposed to be impactful just didn't hit the way they were meant to. i was really looking forward to the shibuya arc bc it's so infamous and i'd been hearing about it for so long, but it just didn't hit for me. but then again, i don't do well with reading shounen manga, i really can't make sense of what's happening on the page, it's just better with sound and color for me. so i came out of it feeling disappointed and wishing i'd just waited for the anime instead.

i think gege really got it with gojo and geto. their story is the most intriguing for me. gege has said he doesn't focus on character like he does on plot, but the character studies for gojo and esp geto are so fascinating. there's so much to unpack there. i like how young gojo used to pick on the weak and geto always reprimanded him for that, and now it's the opposite. and like you said, the fall from grace ... and the way gojo couldn't get rid of his body and that led to. all this.

live slug reaction

i'm looking forward to all the gojo and geto madness in s2 for sure!

another favorite moment that stood out to me was this one:

the panelling and the imagery is superb ... this is storytelling! and this was so satisfying too bc i'd been waiting for the Longest time for mahito to die. something about yuuji becoming so callous and quietly vicious also makes me sad.

another moment that stood out to me when sukuna refused to help junpei which led to his eventual death. that was so brutal and so cruel and that's the moment i realized sukuna and yuuji actually Weren't going to bond and become gradual partners like i expected them to at the start. sukuna is just pure evil. like, it was such an awful moment but it was so eye opening. i really wonder what sukuna’s end game is and why he's so interested in megumi in particular.....

OH! another moment i loved a lot was maki’s whole arc, actually. it was so good bc finally a female character in shounen has her own arc that actually advances and affects the plot?? we love to see it. i also loved how unapologetically angry she got to be and how she got to express it. i've never seen this in shounen before and i loved it.

i don't know if i have a favorite character in jjk, but the ones i feel strongly for are: yuuji (he has such a pure soul, and i think his juxtaposition with sukuna, who is pure evil, is so interesting and the way they slowly bleed into each other is so good), also i like how he parallels geto in a way

(cont'd) i also think gojo is quite an interesting character, everyone loves to clown on him but the fact remains that he's so traumatized from everything that's happened in his youth and i always feel like he's just so close to breaking down, he's been repressing it for so long but he's just going to snap soon. i love characters who hide everything under a veneer of apparent cheer and nonchalance but everything is actually so fucked behind the scenes. it's quite sad.

i adored megumi while watching the anime. i do love an emo boy it must be said ... also his demon dogs are cute. i loved how unfailingly loyal and devoted he is to yuuji. but lately i just. haven't been thinking of him as much. after so much time, he's kind of faded to the background while other characters have taken the front stage in my mind.

i like maki! i remember during the school tournament arc, i was head over heels for her, completely losing my mind. love how she's that powerful without a drop of cursed energy herself, the way she was just flattening everyone else. and then ofc, in her own arc after she goes on a rampage and all that, i really appreciated how she had her own time to shine.

oh you mentioned choso! his design is immaculate ... i once took a quiz that was like which jjk character are you and i got choso and it was like 'you're an eldest daughter' hgkshfjfj SPOT ON and also choso is an eldest daughter in my heart, he looks the way i feel.

but also i think it's brilliant how he calls yuuji brother, and i thought it was a cute little throwaway thing but it ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE NOW so that was a brilliant way to foreshadow

but now i have to mention a character that i thought i was going to love but i just....didn't really end up feeling that much for: yuuta. i was Ready to love him with my whole heart but it just ended up being a lukewarm feeling in the end. a timid anxious boy who finds people to care for and to protect and who grows stronger for it....i should have been all in. but his character just ended up a little flat for me. he wasn't as fleshed out as i would have liked him to be, but i know gege doesn't really focus on character as much, so that's probably why. i didn't feel an emotional connection to yuuta and his story just didn't really strike a chord with me, even though i do think his bond with rika is sweet and i love how he wears their engagement ring from when they were kids (stellar character design element!!) i just wish on the whole his story had been a little meatier, so i could have sunk my teeth in fully. unfortunately i just felt like it was a bit lacking for my taste.

for characters i don't like: well i hate mahito for obvious reasons hgkdhfhf so glad he's dead, good riddance. and that's it for characters i really felt strongly repelled by. also wait mechamaru was so boring im sorry hgjdhf

but what i do want to talk about is nobara....i think she's just okay. when people were praising her character for being so unlike a girl in a shounen series, i was like...hm. she's cool, sure, but where's her arc, what's her story, what does she want to do? there wasn't a focus on her the way there was for yuuji and megumi. i wanted something for nobara the way maki had her own arc. i really wanted to get a Feel for nobara's character but unfortunately i never got that, so she never really stood out to me. i keep wondering why gege just didn't do anything with her when he gave maki this whole entire arc that had actual consequences for the story as a whole. and with nobara's current fate, it's like.....i just feel like gege has no idea what to do with her and it's sad. like at least confirm if she's alive or not?? at this point it's just schrodinger's nobara tbh.

another thing i wish the manga had was more downtime for the characters in between these major plots. it would be a much needed break and give a sense of pacing and a chance to build character, but then again, gege doesn't focus on character so it makes sense why we don't have moments like these.

also....the explanations hgkshfjf that's why i stopped reading the manga altogether. i could not wrap my head around the culling game, there was so much text and i just gave up. i don't know what's happening in the manga anymore.

as for the manga vs the anime, i think mappa did an absolutely incredible job! it looks AMAZING and the fight scenes are amazing and such a treat, and so is the soundtrack. it was literally love at first sight for me, from the very first moment i watched the op in the first episode i was completely smitten. it honestly elevates the manga and makes for such an enjoyable experience. very excited for s2 even though i also feel so bad for these poor animators, i know mappa is treating them like garbage ....

okay last thought: i do Not understand the toji thirst. man looks like some kind of beefy rat....but maybe that's the appeal?? idk. but i am excited to see his fight with gojo!

[buckys-little-belle]

hiii love Ive never really done one of these before so sorry if it’s weird T T

So basically I’m just wondering how u knew u were a little? And if anyone can be one? And like how do u get into littlespace and stay there?

The reason why I’m asking is bc I’ve known about it for a while and have loved the idea but I’ve never been able to get myself there. Bc of some trauma I’ve been through i feel like it would be really healing for me,, but also it just seems like fun and something that I really connect with. I’ve had times where I felt little but it always goes away after I finish reading a little fic or etc. one of my friends made me feel little once but it also didn’t last very long. Idk basically I’m just asking is there a way for me to start regressing? And is there a possibility that I just can’t do it?

<33 Lots of love

- 🌷

Hii! Not weird at all!! Don’t worry!

Just to preface, I'm not an expert, so please not my words aren’t the only possible facts, and please anyone who could answer these questions, comment! or reblog! but I'll do my best.

Can anyone be a little? I'm honestly not sure, to be honest I haven't gone deep into all of the brain stuff surrounding being a little, but to me I think yes. I don't think that there is a specific thing holding some people back from being a little, I genuinely just don't, and maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. I think some people might struggle to truly get into the headspace, it can be a tricky thing to do/control at the beginning, and I often find myself struggling with controlling/getting into the headspace. (By controlling I mean not involuntarily slipping into your little headspace, like when really loud noises happen or someone is mean, and your brain just copes on it's own, something that isn't a bad thing, but can be scary when you aren't able to control what headspace you are in, and when.) So short answer, I think anyone can be a little, but again I could be wrong.

How do you start? SUCH A GOOD QUESTION! I always see some interesting answers to this, which is fine, to each their own, but for someone who's just starting to regress I suggests simply doing activities you enjoyed doing when younger, for me it's coloring. I picked up coloring as a hobby through a tough patch and found my headspace to be so peaceful, little did I know I was actually regressing. Honestly, just embrace your kid side, just do a thing you love and LET YOURSELF ENJOY IT! Don't hold back, don't get mad if you don't feel little, don't try and force anything, just let yourself find joy in whatever you're doing, and let whatever happens happen. Eventually you'll find something that helps, it'll most likely be a few tries before you find what helps you slip, and tools in helping you stay there, it's really all up to little you, just let them flourish. I have been struggling lately to regress, stress and anxiety plaguing me, so I pulled out my bin of Barbies, and the first few times nothing happened, I just enjoyed doing their hair and making sure they all had some cute outfits, but eventually a few days later little me took over, and played with barbies like I did as a kid, and it was great, it just took some time, and that's okay!

Is it possible that you're not one? Maybe? But from what you've said, you seem to have slipped into that headspace, and to me that's a good sign that you are one. It took me a while to realize that I had been slipping for years at that point, my friends always treated me like a little sister, and that helped me feel safe enough to be a kid again, and it seems that maybe you've had a similar experience and that's a good first step.

I do hope that these answers helped, even in the slightest, and if you have any more please, please ask them! I'm an open book and will always be here to answer questions. Also, good luck, please come back and let me know how things go, and feel free to come back and just chat whenever, you're a very sweet anon tulip, and I hope to see you again <3