#also i’d rather not talk about her presenting herself as insane and psychotic. or about not speaking up about palestine while so badly

[alexinchains08]

i’ve wanted to talk about this for a while now but i’ve just never sat down to write it because i’m scared of people’s reactions but you know what, fuck it.

this is not hate to taylor. it’s more of a judgement to swifties. if you’re allergic to opinions, better click off now.

i am so so so tired of swifties critiquing people for simply not liking ttpd. and no, i’m not talking about the people who are simply hating on it ‘for the fun of it’ or jumping on the hate train. i’m speaking the people who are simply offering their honest opinions on the album and then getting DRAGGED for it.

i’ve seen this album being treated as if it’s some underground indie album and taylor being treated like an artist that has 100 monthly listeners. the point is that she’s not. a lot of taylor’s listeners are not people who will sit down and analyse every single lyric and notice every parallel on her album covers, since, yknow, she’s the no.1 artist in the entire world. she has a shit ton of casual listeners who know her for her pop hits. that’s how pop music works!!! surprise!!

moving on, as this youtuber said in this video (which i recommend watching), this album felt a lot more like a “lore dump for die hard fans to decipher” and according to these fans if you’re not willing to sit down and analyse it, or simply, if you don’t get it, you’re criticised and considered “less intellectual” or “a fake fan” or “someone who peaked in high school” (which is crazy btw).

continuing with the constant judgement, when i say that i don’t like the sound of this album im greeted with, “but the lyrics are incredible!” okay? what if i’m here for the music and not the lyrics? but if i say i don’t like the lyrics either (which is true in my case), “i don’t understand taylor enough” or “oh well this album is peak her, it’s not for you lol” because apparently people are not allowed to simply dislike something without some kind of justification.

and to close off, you’re not better than everyone else for liking this album, or because you know taylor’s “lore” (another crazy thing to say when we’re talking about a PERSON?????) well enough to understand all the messages she’s sending through it. and judging someone’s intelligence because “they just don’t get her incredible, metaphorical, never done before” lyrics which include “im queen of sand castles he destroyed”, “touch me while your bros play gta”, “and you say i abandoned the ship but i was going down with it” is simply insane and out of line

sincerely, a taylor swift listener

[madexinxheaven]

@whoxyouxhate said: 💊 - Is your character on medication? If so, why? @ the mains

"In this line of work and after everything we've been through? How could I NOT?"

Seriously, no one saw the kind of things Caitlyn had seen without developing serious cases of PTSD, SEPARATION ANXIETY & PARANOIA. She couldn't even HUNT these days without being hopped up on meds. After all, the last time she went out on the hunt, she'd come back to a BLOODBATH; With every last servant DEAD and her parents MISSING. Since then she'd risen up the ranks of the L.G.D as far and the way most prolific SNIPER they had. And from INFECTED to MURDER to RAPE to THIS VERY WAR, well... They hadn't made the nightmares any easier... The meds did, though. (Kinda...)

"This world breaks people. One way or the other."

"I, uhh... Texas says I SHOULD..."

Hyperactivity, blunt impulsion and a struggle with maintaining her own attention had LONG been problems that had cast Exusiai into danger TIME & TIME AGAIN. The youthful Sankta had a whole list of bad run-ins, mistakes, REGRETS, to her record. Yet, still, for the most part, she remained UNBOTHERED -- UNBURDENED. Fact also remained that she'd grown RECKLESS, CARELESS & IMPULSIVE in many things. Definitely didn't get enough sleep at night. And had a tendency for getting herself KNEE DEEP IN SHIT. But she meant well, and had fun, and only hurt the BAD PEOPLE, right? So it couldn't have been THAT IMPORTANT... -- RIIIGHT??

"But... What's the WORST that could happen?"

"I... What exactly are we counting as medication here?"

Did they count the CANDIES & TREATMENTS that protected against FROSTBITE? Did they count the various ways she'd tried over the years to actually feel some level of WARMTH? To warm the CHILL that was in her deathly rattling bones? Or were they just talking about the medications that Rhodes Island filled Infection with to pretend like they were actually making a DIFFERENCE. Then again, maybe they WERE making a difference... And it was all just so much harder for FrostNova to see from so far away. Irregardless, the answer was: No. she DIDN'T take any official medications. But she had her own self-medications. For what they counted for. 

"I make do."

"Mmh? Oh, no..."

Shake of her accompanied her simple answer. Sometimes she wondered if she should have. Mostly whenever her personality PISSED OFF Blaze, but in truth she spent more time ADMINISTERING medication than TAKING IT. After all, she may have been a designated SNIPER, but she still was an operator working for Rhodes Island. And every last INFECTED in the world NEEDED medication. In fact, the more she thought about it... Maybe they should've been screening people more closely on a PSYCHOLOGICAL basis rather than observing their levels of ORIGINUM CRYSTALIZATION, no? Not to say they didn’t. They absolutely did. PRTS was surprisingly adept at it. But... But just like with treating the Infected, couldn’t they always do a better job at that, too?

"It's surprising, really. Or... Or maybe we're just not thinking about that kinda stuff? Maybe it's just become the new normal, y'know?"

"Medication? Me? Oh, no. I'm not any medication."

Granted, for every pill Makoto DIDN'T take she had a line in her contract with JOHANNA that all but unshackled her from the constraints of her greatest mental battles. Including her OBSESSIVE COMPULSION, PERFECTIONISM, CODEPENDENCY & INABILITY TO SAY NO BORN OF NO SMALL AMOUNT OF SELF-DEPRECATION. But then, didn't Johanna make everything in Makoto's life turn monochrome? Flirting in that moral grey area, caught between her duty as a Lungmen Guard and her own INFECTED VIGILANCE. In many ways, she supposed she was LUCKY for that. Every last inch of that self-deprecation came with another inch of herself she GENUINELY didn't like. And since Johanna had come into her life, Makoto had step-for-step came closer & closer to someone she could be PROUD OF.

"But I don't blame people if they need it. This... This world is... It's hard... So very hard..."

"Huh? Medication? What on Terra possessed you to ask a question like that?"

For once, Swire was NOT acting out of self-defence but, rather, asking very genuine questions. Albeit... She still didn't exactly ask them WELL. Confrontation was Swire's life. The bitch wore her heart on her sleeve, and her heart was big but easily wounded. To answer: Swire was not presently on any medication. She'd had her BOUTS of issues and therapies, usually when those insecurities ADDED UP, and she stopped being able to SIT ON HER FEELINGS, but largely she remained clean. At her standard, she liked to think she was HANDLING IT WELL... ALL THINGS CONSIDERED... But deep down? Well... Her episodes DID speak for themselves. (And it was usually Ch'en picking up the pieces.)

"Not right now. But sometimes life just gets to ya, y'know?"

"Medication? Hm. Sounds almost novel at this point, in all honesty. One might say, NAIVE."

If ANYONE was a poster-child for SHOULD BE ON MEDICATION, it was far and away TALULAH ARTORIUS. The girl had been broken for one or two decades far too long. & now she was FAR TOO FAR GONE. Pretty sure anyone who rallies together a radicalized group of freedom fighters to take over Lungmen & Ursus through TERROR TACTICS with a central goal of enacting revenge on the friends and family that HURT THEM as a child most certainly qualified for needing therapy. (Or maybe an ASYLUM.) Maybe if people had cared back when she was still BREAKING, all of this coud've been avoid. And, no, Ch'en DIDN'T count. How could she? What was her baby sister SUPPOSED to do about her abused sister who had been driven to psychosis by their very own family?

"We're far beyond the point of no return by now. Sometimes tells me I'm going to die before even taking one pill."

"Kee-Ahaha... Haha... Ahahahahahaha... Oh... That's cute."

Holy. Fucking. Shit. They really had to ASK that question? No. Of course she wasn 't on MEDICATION. The psychotic bitch didn't even let Rhodes Island treat her for Oripathy and she'd SIGNED ON AS THEIR MERCENARY. Of course, being feared by every last motherfucker in the galaxy kinda had some BENEFITS in that sense. Now, should she have been? Of course she should have been. Girl had one of the highest Originum densities in all of Rhodes Island. Oh, and there was the little tid bit of her being a PYROMANIACAL, MURDEROUS LITTLE PSYCHO. Yeah, that level of destructive psychotic mania PROBABLY needed a maximum security INSANE ASYLUM, let alone anti-psychotics and sedatives. But as they say somewhere else in the world: Y.O.L.O!!

"I'd like to meet the doctor that can actually make me take my pills~~!!"

"..."

Silence spoke louder than words, as they always say. And the truth was... Yuhsia was on SEVERAL medications as a result of the youth she spent alone in Lungmen after the disappearance of TALULAH and the abandonment of CH'EN & SWIRE. Would anyone really be surprised to learn that? Probably NOT, in all honesty. Mafia girl was left alone with some of the corrupt narcissist this side of the Ursus border and later forced to do all of the Rat King & Wei Yenwu's DIRTY WORK. Not to mention the sting of BROKEN PROMISES. To this day, Yuhsia had never EVER let anyone get remotely close to her. Most of all, Ch'en & Swire. Though they persisted like nagging little GNATS. But back to the question at hand... Yuhsia had developed a certain... TEMPERAMENT that she liked to keep on top of. The Rat King saw the worst of it. But she'd be damned if she EVER let Ch'en and Swire see it in the slightest. Meds HELPED with that.

"You should be careful asking questions like that to people like me. Who knows what might happen to you..."

[talesofdelta]

Sorry I’d neglected this space for so long. I did come across a few stories I thought I’d posted from a few years back. Here’s the first one.

Warning for language.

*************************************************************************************

Every superhero needs a shrink. Mine came in a form of a rock star who was just hitting her stride. Her office? Just happened to look like a booth in a diner. Because it was one.

At 2:40 in the morning, hardly a soul stirred in Benny’s diner besides the cook. It was a dive which became my home turf during my time here in Delta. At about the middle of my beat I made a habit to come by here and . . . well, before long I had the menu memorized. Tonight I’d already gotten my first burger, fries, shake, a few donuts and a slice of cherry pie to help fill my girlish figure. Three eggs and corn beef hash were on the way as soon as they’re off the griddle. It was my usual mid-shift snack.

One of the perks of being a bona-fide super soldier was an outrageous metabolism. Besides that . . . well, I was bullet proof, could run all day and was the best markswoman by far in the world. Really, I pretty much didn’t miss with a firearm. That’s not just because I’m obsessed with them, either. I even healed in sunlight so come 7:00 AM there wasn’t a scar on my body no matter what happened during my time on the streets. I wasn’t born this way. It wasn’t magic. I was the best science had to offer a strange world.

The experiment which gave me these powers also gave me looks that . . . well, made me look like a curvy porn star. So, lots of attention. Especially from men. Not always wanted. Oh, and some women too. One time a person said I had this huge personality. Not that way, she meant my presence. The way I looked at people, the sound of my voice, my “mojo” or something. She said it was superhuman. The woman who told me that had a Ph.D. in something . . . psychology I think. But I guess I came across as some goddess both physically and spiritually to most people.

My life wasn’t all gravy and gumbo. I had to fight crime wherever I found it, and in Delta that often meant fighting something you would not file under “normal.” The proper term was “paranormals” but it covered armored robots, humans who were altered genetically or hooked up with cybernetics. Pretty sure there was as much sorcery as super-science out there in the world, but I hadn’t met it yet. And of course there were those born with paranormal abilities, and most people treated them like a plague.

There were more of these beings per capita in the Delta metro region than any other city in the world, which made this a special place. Humans, the normal ones, stopped griping about ethnicity or religion around here. Cultures which wouldn’t dare mix in other parts of the country became happy neighbors. There wasn’t some breakthrough of understanding. People here just felt they had a common enemy. If you had normal genes, they liked you. If you didn’t . . . well, that’s true racism for you.

My ever-present sunglasses came off while I stalked my way over to our booth. There were two young men over in the corner talking and rolling dice. Benny the cook tried hard not to drink in my skin tight royal blue ReSPONSE uniform, even if I have a black ballistic weave jacket on top. Dark blue boots clacked across the linoleum tile floor; matching gloves held my tray of food as I approached our seats. My weapon was in the holster as I slid my food onto the table. I unzipped my jacket, the shades went into their case and I settled in the booth across from my friend.

Susan Lake was in one of her trademark poses. Her platinum blonde hair was slightly spiked. She had a snakeskin boot parked on the edge of the table. For some reason she took to wearing some acid-wash denim jacket and a white turtleneck; she looked like she stepped right out of 1987. Some bedazzled belt buckle and dark blue jeans completed her “queen of doomsday disco” look. A quick smile and I knew she saw my fries.

“Belinda babe.” She gave me the once over. “Why so glum?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Glum? What are you getting at, Sue babe?”

“Something’s on your mind. I can tell.” Something crunched in her mouth. “You only take your shades off when you’re serious. Do you wear them in the shower?”

Susan was always there to bust my chops. “And a good morning to you, too.”

“Fries are piping hot,” she said as she shook her fingers.

Jezz, her traditional assault on my French fries had begun. “Well, they are pretty fresh. What did you expect?” My jacket came off and settled in the corner of the booth.

Susan’s eyes narrowed. “Skip the preamble. Something is driving in your head, and it isn’t how you’re gonna kick some super bad guy’s ass. It’s one of those philosophical things, isn’t it? The difference between right and wrong. Some new perspective that threatens to change the way you go about your job, keeping us all safe from things that go bump in the night?”

The cook brought over my eggs, hash and a second shake and went back to his counter. “Quite a mouthful, Susan.”

“I didn’t feel like sitting here chit-chatting until 4:00 to get to the good stuff.” She bit into a doughnut. “Besides, you’re only taking a break. We can’t stay here too long.”

“And you got all that from my shades coming off?” Shake number one had met its maker. “Are you psychic, or just psychotic?”

Susan looked right into my eyes for a moment. “We both have crap to do and life is full of shitty conflicts. Give.”

I didn’t realize I was smiling until my face softened into a serious scowl. “Susan, humans . . . people are insanely cruel, and I think they . . . we like it that way. I have a big problem with that.”

Immediately she sat properly in her booth, sharp as a hawk. “Now we’re cooking. I’m kind of disappointed you didn’t realize this sooner.” The rock star was gone.

A dollop of catsup fell from my burger like blood. Why did I think that? “I was talking to someone who gave me a different perspective. It’s one I needed to hear and . . . well, it’s given me something to think about.”

Susan had a soda stashed somewhere and chose now to slurp whatever was left of it. “Conversation with whom?” Still looking like a bird of prey.

“Sirocco.” He was new to the right side of the law and I’d taken him under my wing.

Her face broke into gentle laughter. “Oh? Mister ‘Jamaican-me-crazy’ had a point to make? And how long did it take him to stop talking to your massive, and rather perfect, cleavage?” Shaking her head she munched on another fry.

Someday I’d figure out how she got those from me without my noticing. “Rocco is a good guy. And it took him five minutes.” I shook my head with a smirk.

She popped her collar and leaned on one side. “We should take him to Vegas. The ladies would love him. Bet he’s a real horn dog.” She decided to help herself to some corned beef hash.

My smirk faded. “Seriously, Susan. This isn’t about him, it’s about what he said and how I realized some things.”

“Go on.” Susan’s face became soft, but determined. “You need to get this out. I’m your girl.”

A memory of the scent of gunpowder soothed my thoughts for a moment. “Sirocco . . . well, Peter told me about something his mother used to talk about. She pointed to movements in the social structure, for lack of a better word? The point was about what people think and how they react to suffering. To anger. Danger. Exploitation.”

“Not terribly well.” She looked out the window. “Being the Goddess with the gun out in those streets, you know that better than most. What was different about how his mother saw it?”

“She taught him about perspective.” I glanced toward the two men in the corner who were oblivious to my presence. “Not that of the victims or their attackers, the perspective of the people in between.”

“In my experience there really aren’t too many of those,” Susan replied. “Eventually almost everyone is one or the other.”

“Her point,” I continued. “Let me give you a couple of examples. There was a time when a single man shot about a dozen people – killing some – because he couldn’t get a date. The internet was flooded with women pointing out the dangers we face every day.”

She sat up, still relaxed. “Not news, but I’m listening.”

“Of course there was the chorus of ‘not all men’ because . . . well, it’s true. Not all men are like that.” It was then I noticed we were the only two women around.

She shook her head. “Her point was not all men are killers? Profound.”

I leaned forward and stared right a hole through her forehead. “Susan, pay attention. Did I sound like I was finished?”

Sheepishly she slinked backwards in her booth. “Sorry.” Her eyes met mine for a second and I could tell I needed to turn down the intensity.

“There was something else that started a few years later, and this hits closer to home for me.” I took a moment; this had been at me all day. “Police brutality.”

She snapped her head towards me. “What the hell does that have to do with how predatory men can be?” Those blue eyes were white hot with fury.

“Follow. Back then, police shot yet another black man in the United States and a movement comes about with the slogan ‘black lives matter’ protesting police brutality. The core is the feeling cops have it out for black men in particular.” I took a glance to the corner to see if there was a reaction from either man.

I saw Susan think for a moment, deciding what she was going to say. “Belinda, all lives matter. Black. White, Latino, Asian . . . all lives. Every. Single. One.” She stared at me unflinchingly.

“This is where perspective comes in.” I motioned to the counter for my third shake. “People reacted back then too. There was a chorus of ‘all lives matter’ from lots of people. Most of them White.”

“Neither ethnicity nor race should matter,” she stated. “The fact all lives matter is a simple truth that should be self-evident . . . but isn’t.”

“But Susan that’s the –“

She cut me off like a hatchet. “No, Belinda. There is nothing. No compromise. I’m an officer of the Navy. I know what it means to serve our country and defend her interests. I do it willingly. I do what I can to defend life, liberty and the constitution within the union. And I don’t believe that because I went to the finest military academy. I wasn’t made to feel that way because my family has served for generations. It’s the way I am because every citizen of the United States of America is whom I fight to protect. It’s how I was raised. It is a God given right of freedom too many take for granted . . . and too many more want to steal from the people of our nation.”

Told you she was a conservative hawk. Or did I leave that part out? “Do tell, Sue babe.”

She actually glared at me. “This is not a laughing matter, Belinda.”

“I’m sorry, Susan.” So this was what it was like. “Shouldn’t have needled you like that.”

She sighed, leaning back in her seat. “It’s okay. We love our country so much. I love Old Glory and all she represents. Hope, opportunity and the diversity of our nation which sets us apart.” I could hear underneath the glitz and glamour was the blue collar woman from Jersey.

“I’m not trying to rib you,” I said, “but you sound like a super-patriot.”

Running her fingers through her hair, she bore a wide grin. “Guilty as charged.”

I pulled a few fries off the plate. “But is there room for a dissenting voice? For those who see things differently than you?”

“Always will be. And I’ll defend them just like you do.” Two shakes and another plate of fries materialized at our table. “I just hate it when people try to pull us apart from within.”

“How is pointing out the tendency of the law enforcement, conventional like most or paranormal like me, to crack down on those who are at a disadvantage pulling us apart?” I took a breath and waited for her reply.

“Singling out a faction for special treatment is, in my view at least, very wrong.” She picked up a handful of fries and scooped them into her mouth one at a time. “I agree that black lives matter. Paranormal lives matter. Every life matters.”

Peter’s mother was right. “So do you think they should have stayed quiet? Instead of calling out police, or men for that matter, they should have done what? Be quiet?”

Susan relaxed, which made me nervous. “Help make things better by working in the community. Join the force and help make sure your neighborhoods are represented, if you think the police aren’t representative of your neighborhood. Teach girls and young women how to defend themselves, but also look at what can be done to help teach men not to be predators.”

“Not the reply I expected, Sue babe.” Honesty was the best policy.

“So much of what we see, the conflicts within America and among her people, is based on standards that have been held for hundreds . . . thousands of years,” she said. “I’ve always been a fan of one thing.”

Burger number whatever had arrived. “What’s that?”

“Choice, babe.” Susan waived for a soda. “I believe everyone should have the opportunity for a choice in life. I want beauty standards replaced with nothing. I want women to have every choice that are available to men, and have that be ok. I want every God-fearing soul in this country . . . hell. I want every person on this planet to have the chance to follow their dreams. To choose life or home or family. To feel doors opened. No glass ceilings or floors. To have the knowledge they are different and unique, but not better or worse than anyone else simply because the color of their skin or the Y-ness of their chromosome.”

I did not expect that. Maybe I should have. “You believe in freedom.”

“You bet I do,” she beamed. “I am a feminist. And proud. I am a conservative. And proud. This country needs to wrap its mind around the fact that these are not competing ideals. I am all of both.”

“Do tell.” Setting down my burger I let out a soft belch. So ladylike. “How do you balance all that, anyhow?”

“I have always been as conservative as I am White. State rights are important to me. Fiscal matters . . . matter.” She snickered. “I believe in God and country first, and I feel there are stringent definitions on how our nation should be governed within our constitution. The United States needs to have a strong military to defend her interests and her allies. I believe in choosing life over abortion.”

Just in case she was thinking about getting a reaction from me, I closed that door shut. “I’m not going there, Susan.”

“Not asking you right now, but sometime you have to tell me where you stand.” Her face was relaxed; there was even a light smile on her lips. “I’m a conservative, through and through.”

Sometimes the stupid in my brain just has to have a word. “So how can you be a feminist?”

“You have no clue how to be a woman, do you?” She looked only half-angry. “You missed the point. All of these positions – and dozens more – are a choice. I believe every woman should have the choice to be what she wants to be. To choose to be an attorney and have it be alright. Be a housewife and have it be alright. A boardroom executive shouldn’t be a ‘feminazi bitch’ and a home maker shouldn’t be a ‘sell out.’ That’s the part you don’t get.”

She was right. “Thank you. I never thought of it that way.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied. “And this country gives the best chance for anyone to be whatever they want to be. That’s why I hate it when groups start picking apart at each other. One nation. Under God. Indivisible. With liberty and justice for all. Every. Single. Life. Matters.”

“You say that,” I began. “And I’m sure you believe it. But Peter’s mother pointed out a few things about the ‘silent majority’ or whatever it was she called it.”

“Really?” Susan took a sip of soda. “This I want to hear.”

“If all lives matter,” I said. “Tell me why the ‘all lives matter’ movement only started after the ‘black lives matter?’ Why did it take the outrage of black families to spur the conversation of ‘all lives matter’ then?”

“Try making sense, if you can?” Susan was genuinely confused.

I was mad, partially at myself. “People didn’t react to shootings with ‘all lives matter.’ Most people, and let’s be honest as we’re both white, the majority of white America didn’t seem invested in making sure that all lives . . . well, mattered.”

“Whatever you’ve been reading, please get some facts and numbers to get you back on course.” Yes, she was actually a rock star on the rise. “Just because someone thinks they are being singled out for special persecution doesn’t make it true, Belinda.”

“Just because you,” I shot back, “or I . . . don’t experience that first hand? Doesn’t mean profiling of African-Americans doesn’t exist. And it’s that willingness to be blind to someone else’s plight? That was Peter’s mother’s point.”

“What?” She waived to the counter. “I never said African-Americans don’t face challenges in the United States. More fries!”

She had her wall up. “There was a counter movement in favor of law enforcement officers who put their lives on the line every day. It was called Blue Lives Matter and it got quite the push.”

Susan tilted her head slightly. “I’m glad.”

“Peter’s mom said . . . I want to get this quote right.” I thought about a .44 caliber cartridge and how I loved the form. “If you have a problem with black lives matter, because all lives matter . . .”

“And they do,” Susan quipped.

“But don’t have a problem with Blue Lives Matter,” I shot back. “Then the operative word is ‘Black.’”

She blinked. I’ve known her for a while; it’s one of her surprised looks. “I see.”

“When a group gets victimized,” I started. “And they call out? Lots of good people take up the cause. And many of them come from outside of the people getting shafted. But they aren’t the problem. It’s the silent majority that seems to react to . . . well, almost counter-protest. Or they say nothing. I’m not sure which is worse.”

“You’re concentrating on the few bad apples. To hear you, it’s like most people don’t care.” Fries and a couple cups of coffee arrived.

“They don’t.” Honesty. Remember? “If you put together all the bad apples with the protesters and activists? You might equal about five percent of the ‘silent majority’ that just doesn’t care.”

“Hmm.” She ran a finger through her hair. “I guess this has been eating at you.”

I thought about the two men in the corner, rolling dice. “And who are they supposed to turn to? The very police that they think are the problem?”

“Work within the community.” She put a hand on the table.

I aggressively put my cup down. “Is it any wonder why some take the law into their own hands?”

Her eyes popped wide. “Jezz. Take it down a notch.” She shrank down a bit.

“I’ve taken a look at a case file.” I relaxed my grip on the cup. “It’s out in Indiana, so it’s out of my jurisdiction. There’s a perp that shot up a whole town. Pretty much leveled the place.”

“What’s the city?” Her eyes narrowed. “Carmine?”

“Yup.” I sipped some coffee.

She shook her head. “Some kid goes ‘Rambo’ over a small town? Killing like that? They should be put down like the animal they are.”

I gave her a square look “You don’t know the case, but he thinks he’s a man at war. Life is easy to take away. Impossible to give back. He’s a killer so if I get the case? I’ll take him down as quickly as I can.”

“O-okay,” She glanced at my body. “At war with who?”

It was now I realized I was leaning towards her. “White supremacy activists. And those who help them.”

She checked her nails. “So? Murder is murder.”

“Coming from a soldier.” I met her gaze.

She raised a hand. “Different. Not comparable, babe.” She looked out the window and slouched slightly.

I knew I got through. “What makes him different? What do you think makes him tick?” I said softly.

“Pretty clear,” she shot back. “Race.”

I waved a finger. “Wrong.”

Her eyes were the size of plates. “What?”

“Injustice.” I put my finger on the table. “From slavery, to Jim Crow laws, to the Klan and institutional racism, at each step there were innocents mowed down. Crushed. Worse. And not a single body that was supposed to protect blacks . . . well, did anything. Churches. Police. Teachers. Government. Any of them could have done something, but most of them . . . well, didn’t. It’s the story of lots of groups in this country.”

She leaned forward. “Civil rights act?”

“Should not have been necessary,” I said. “But it didn’t happen until protests and riots. Why? Not because these practices aren’t wrong. Because most people couldn’t be bothered. They didn’t care, Susan, until buildings were burning and cars were flipped over.”

She raised an eyebrow. “What is it you said about Apathy?”

“The bunny slope of evil, babe.” I said. “That���s the story of race relations in this country.”

A cold French fry found her mouth, and she nodded. “Ok, I’ll give you that one.”

“And it’s not just that, let’s go to the violence against women by men.” I saw her demeanor change.

“There was a ‘He for She’ movement to support some wave of feminism, sorry Sue-babe I can’t keep them straight, in the wake of the ‘not all men’ fiasco. Men came out in support of women. Not most, but a fair number.”

“And you also had the Men’s rights activists.” There was a dark look that crossed her face.

“Yeah, kind of like the first guy I started telling you about. They never proved a link to Men’s Rights activists, though. But there is a trend. He for she. All lives matter. These didn’t happen until the victims started screaming.” I gulped down some coffee and it hurt. “All lives didn’t matter until . . . well, never.”

Susan cocked her head to the side. “Keep going.”

I took a deep breath. “From the trail of tears to the internment camps of world war two, this country has been pretty clear that some lives just weren’t important to the masses. I read about a place . . . Rosewood? It was like clearing brush for cows. And remember the open hostility against Muslims in the U.S. and the hundreds killed because of it?”

“One of our darkest moments, Belinda babe.” She was serious as a funeral. “One that should never be repeated.”

“It’s always repeated. Just . . . I don’t know. The names change but you always have the same three sides.” I glanced outside at the streets. “Victims, killers and the people who don’t give two clips of ammo about what happened.”

“That’s not true,” she said as she fixed her posture. “There are always people who care.”

“Just not enough.” I didn’t realize I had a scowl on my face until I saw my reflection in the window.

Susan failed to put on a smile. “Or not the right ones.”

The table’s quiet for about a minute. Susan picked up the torch. “So this has been eating at you all day?”

“A bit longer than that,” I confessed. “Mostly because I’m a federal officer. A government super-cop. The police brutality sat close to me.”

“You don’t do that,” she said softly. “I know you better than you think.”

“I know I don’t,” I replied while checking my watch. “Most of the men and women in blue keep us safe. They are the first line of defense and they . . . we . . . do our best to serve and protect everyone. Especially those who hate us.”

“But there are always bad apples,” She said, kicking a boot back onto the table. “One racist cop spoils it for everyone else.”

“What gets me,” I said, “is how right they are.”

“Come again?” Her boot slipped off the table loudly. “Who’s right?”

“The counter protesters. Not all men are predators. Not all law enforcement officers target minorities unfairly.” My plate was clean so I had nothing to hide behind. “Most of the time, people are good to each other.”

“Just remember that, Belinda.” She offered a bite of her doughnut.

“Pete’s mother said she knew the ‘not all men’ meme when she was a girl,” I said. “Except she said it was called ‘not all white people.’ And she had a reply.”

She dropped her peace offering. “What was it?”

“His mother said ‘not all, but enough to where it’s a problem I have to think of every second of every day. That is a toll taken on my life that you don’t pay’ she told them.” And it was a price I’d yet to pay myself.

“I won’t argue,” she nodded with agreement. “We each have our crosses to bear, Belinda. But what makes us succeed, what makes us the nation we are, is how we bear that burden. What we do with it. That is what separates man from beast.”

“I’m feeling pretty aware of my part in this all right now,” I stated as Benny dropped off the bill. “I’m a cop and a woman and a superhero . . . well, they call me one anyway.”

She got up. “Yes, you are.”

“Look at this place,” I said while I circled my finger. “We have people – citizens of Delta – protesting discrimination every day. They organize demonstrations in the hope someone will realize their plight and help them out.”

“Which ones, Belinda? We have people claiming discrimination every week.” I swear she did have her sensitive moments but this wasn’t one. “Kind of hard to keep them all straight.”

I wasn’t going to tell her the rest. “The more we hold onto the status quo, the more we fuel the next cataclysm. Here in Delta all the normal humans have learned to play together, but not for the right reasons, Susan.”

“But they are playing together, and nicely.” She tried to grab the check.

I’m still faster. “They’re only at peace because they all have a class to look down on. Paranormals. Mutants. Cyborgs. They are the lowest class in Delta only because they were born or made different.” I glanced at the bill before tossing cash down on the table.

“Don’t forget, you’re one of those freaks.” She put on a fedora she found from God knew where.

“I treat every life as one that matters. I take the ones I have to.” I zipped up my jacket and pulled out my shades. “But so many won’t see things that way. They’ll only see a trillion dollar weapon slaying someone or something who was a victim of circumstance. It’s a tough road to haul.”

“I’m not going to preach to you,” she said. “I’m a Christian woman and I could point to a book with a role model that I use. Find your own way and do your best. Like I told you before . . . “

“I can only do what I can do.” It’s the truth for every single one of us. “And I will.”

I thanked her for letting me get that off my chest and went off into Delta city, where nothing’s normal but the music.