#also i was gonna do the WHOLE parade for prompt 2 but like. i am NOT strong enough for that
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djevelbl · 2 months ago
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cOMING IN LATE BUT COMING IN STRONG LET'S GO DOUBLE POST
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A drawing a day with word prompts for the month of October!
#i. i got lazy with the crowd in prompt 2. i don't regret it tho--#also yes that IS cannikin's grave. that IS supposed to be Leticia's hubby who i do not remember his name#i wanted ANGST. but NOT harsh angst#i wanted SOFT ANGST. i wanted SILENT TEARS AS A BEAUTIFUL VIOLIN PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND. OMORI STYLE#also i was gonna do the WHOLE parade for prompt 2 but like. i am NOT strong enough for that#i need to keep some energy and enthusiasm for the next prompts yknow?#so yea maybe another day?? maybe a different angle of the same picture???👀👀👀#so yea! angst vs cool stuff in one post! what a rollercoaster!#i wanted to do goretober at the same time but i'm probably gonna just pluck up whichever prompts look the coolest to me and do those!!#idk how well mr. Bradley and Elder Kettle look. that's the first time i've drawn them and that will NOT be my mr. Bradley design#idk how well it gets across but i wanted prompt 1 to be soft and quiet. to strike painfully but still be called beautiful even within-#-the hurt it produces. a vulnerability in the forest surrounding Elder Kettle's cabin fit that very nicely i think#also i didn't wanna grab the old reliable of my beloved blorbo. i wanna challenge myself to draw characters i've never/don't tend to draw#anyway#this is a demon painting™#bendy and boris in the inky mystery#babitim#the inky mystery#inky mystery#inktober#art challenge#inky mystery inktober 2024#inky mystery boris#artists on tumblr#digital artist#small artist#digital fanart#my fanart#fanart#digital art
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equestrianwritingsstuff · 3 years ago
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In recognition of 200 followers.....
I composed a list of 200 hero x villain dialogue prompts for you guys to ask me or reblog it and ask your own followers or if you take inspiration.
Thank you so much! It means a whole lot!
1. "I wish I had longer to love you."
2. "Sometimes being the greatest is being the worse."
3. "I will kill you if you die on me."
4. "Bury me... under a willow tree... with tulips and lilies to blossom in the spring and a small stream to keep me company."
5. "Villains aren't capable of love; yet, here I am crying over your grave."
6. "The kitten's name is Max."
7. "I'm going to get a beer."
8. "There is only one way to kill me, but you could never muster the strength to pull through."
9. "I'm dizzy with love for you."
10. "Hero, you are drunk not a toddler."
11. "I pledge to serve you willingly, butthead."
12. "Ride the waves with me." "You are a mermaid, no thanks."
13. "Stay awake for me; it's only a little farther."
14. "I can't carry you!"
15. "He isn't much, but we'll make do."
16. "I WANT TO SEE HER! LET ME SEE HER PLEASE. Please..."
17. "George Washington never told a fib, and I am greater than him, so trust me, Hero, when I say I am telling the truth."
18. "Eggs and butter make dough, knives and guns make death."
19. "You are insane."
20. "The bomb is going off in twenty seconds, Hero. Run now. I-I'm going to stop it."
21. "What is love?"
22. "I don't get the function of hugs."
23. "Mentally I'm good, but physically..."
24. "I only wished for happiness from that genie. I guess it was evil."
25. "Break him, shatter him, destroy him."
26. "Sing with me."
27. "Villain you are touch starved, not dying."
28. "What the heck did you do to your hair." "What? You don't like it?" "It looks like my cat's litterbox."
29. "Don't give me hope."
30. "I am not a disease or a parasite. I am a human. I am one of those millions you swore to protect."
31. "Kiss, marry, kill?" "Kill, kill, kill."
32. "You created me."
33. "Villain don't you dare pass out."
34. "I like the look of blood on you, compliments your eyes."
35. "I kinda dropped Hero through space."
36. "Power exhaustion sucks."
37. "Time to save the world. Yay!" *says in sarcasm*
38. "Let me feed you Hero."
39. "You do not have AC?!"
40. "Villain you have a fever."
41. "Am I drunk?"
42. "Movies. Nine o'clock. Don't be late."
43. "Lemme grab a beer and we are good to go."
44. "Don't. Look. At. Me."
45. "He just had his wisdom teeth out sooo." "How bad can it be? Villain has been shot with twenty tranq darts at one and didn't pass out... immediately anyway, took a good twenty minutes." "Well, you see-" "THE KITTEN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!"
46. "She needs surgery."
47. "It's a panic attack..." "KISS HIM!"
48. "Blood, gore, madness... this was made for me."
49. "Quit drooling on me and sit up."
50. "There's only one bed."
51. "He looks so cute when he sleeps."
52. "Of all the places to live, you had to choose a heavily fortified medieval castle two thousand years in the past?"
53. "You are a peacock Hero."
54. "Let's see who will drown first. You or me. One, two, three... let's go!"
55. "I wasn't always like this."
56. "Madness is for geniuses, not for me."
57. "It's just a sedative that's going to make you nice and docile."
58. "He's out." "Good, let him rest, villainy is hardwork."
59. "I love her, but she doesn't love me."
60. "If I had a choice to save you or me, I'd pick me."
61. "Gag her."
62. "They aren't made for this, give them mercy."
63. "Talk now or she dies."
64. "Broken ribs, broken jaw, broken arm... are you sure you want me to continue." "No." "Then tell me your name."
65. "Get me some thread and a needle. Just don't touch me."
66. "The police are coming."
67. "Tell me where she is. TELL ME WHERE IS SHE OR I WILL SLASH YOUR THROAT AND TOSS YOU IN THE SEWER!!!!!"
68. "I love you." "I don't."
69. "Hug me just one last time."
70. "Villain hey hey hey. Calm down. You've been in a pretty bad accident."
71. "They won't be able to walk again."
72. "Tell me... just tell if they made it."
73. "Can't you just poof me another arm?"
74. "If you saved all of them, you can save me."
75. "I'm really tired..."
76. "Sleep. I will stay with you."
77. "She is sixteen years old." "All musicians start young." "This isn't a concert, this is life. Stop ruining it."
78. "He"s been in an accident." "Where?" "Five minutes away from your place."
79. "I wish he wasn't unconscious, so I could talk to him. So I could thank him."
80. "It's been four months now. I have came everyday and, uh, I dunno what to say. Hero, I need you to wake up. I can't function knowing you are right here."
81. "I have a date." "Hmm with who?" "Supervillain." "When and where honey?"
82. "Shhhhhhh. Be quiet. We are still being hunted."
83. "Desert?" "What are you trying to do? Kill me?"
84. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." "I know, I know dear and I so sorry, but I need you to help me. I need you to help them."
85. "Villain just sleep. Allow the drugs to take you under. Don't fight it, don't resist... just sleep. In the morning, we will be safe."
86. "Being lost in the woods isn't ideal."
87. "An injection of valium will do it."
88. "There's no anesthesia."
89. "Wouldn't it be great if we never met each other?"
90. "Bless you." "I didn't sneeze." "Yeah right. Now go sit down, you're sick."
91. "It's called insomnia you dim-wit."
92. "Join me and we can be great."
93. "You didn't bring me here for the cake." "No, dear, but you are so gullible. I brought you here for a sacrifice." "My life?" "Why yes."
94. "I don't know. I never had someone collapse on my doorstep before."
95. "I have nothing to lose. No family, no friends, just my meaningless life."
96. "That's my daughter, not the villain's... so give me her back before I rip your eyes out."
97. "How long was I out for?!" "Ten minutes, but you were drifting. I don't think you had that good of rest." "Oh, I thought I was asleep for hours."
98. "I know, I know you are going to hate me after this, but trust me when I say it's for the best."
99. "I know everything about you."
100. "I think narcissism is contagious because after watching you for a couple hours, I think I may have developed a little crush on the mirror..."
101. "What did you give me?"
102. "Is she screams, I'm going to scream, and then we are going to die."
103. "No fighting today, my cat just died."
104. "How hard did you punch me?"
105. "Not gonna lie, being delirious was epic."
106. "I am cooking for you. You aren't my servant, so stop thinking it."
107. "My old masters made me into a weapon and called me Villain, but if you desire a lapdog I am going to need to be refurnished to fit your needs."
108. "What is his deal?" "I think he's just crazy."
109. "Love is not what I had in mind when I agreed to go on a date with you."
110. "Hugs are overrated."
111. "Are you too hot or too cold?" "Both."
112. "I wish we could turn back time."
113. "I lost the game." "What do you mean? Hero is dead." "Precisely."
114. "Make a wish." "That you live."
115. "Villain has been acting exceptional! Today we granted them a break from the machine. Go ahead Hero and take him for some ice cream."
116. (Sleepy murmurs) "Don't go. I neeeed you." "Yeah yeah I know Villain."
117. "Villain was the one who hurt me, not Hero."
118. "Supervillain is in danger!"
119. "If everyone is scared of me, I might as well be alone."
120. "My head is killing me."
121. "Don't call an ambulance. Just... hold me."
122. "You don't have to do this. It's going to hurt you more than me." "Anything for you dearest, anything at all."
123. "Hero, go wash your hands before dinner."
124. "You have PTSD?" "I don't know?"
125. "I have soap in my eyes!' "Rinse it out." "Mm no I'm permanently mortally blinded." "Uh huh."
126. "We need to cuddle to keep warm."
127. "Take care of them for me, will you?"
128. "When I'm gone, promise to tell my mother, please."
129. "Drug him and then bring him to me."
130. "Superheroes are for children. In all honesty, we are all villains."
131. "Oh my gosh, Hero, what happened?" "Poisoned."
132. "Wouldn't it be nice?" "I don't fancy prosthetics."
133. "Just shut up and listen!"
134. "There is a memorial parade for Hero tomorrow. They asked you to lead it."
135. "She turned it around... at the end."
136. "I wish that he understood how much I care for him."
137. "Civilian! He fell asleep in my lap last night, like totally zooted. It was so cute, but also very tempting. I stuck a french fry up his nose." "Wow. Did he wake up then?" "Yeah, I am sorta kidnapped right now..."
138. "The book, the sword... all pieces of the puzzle huh." "No, darling, all pieces of my game."
139. "Their death is my fault! Not your's, but mine, so quit trying to make me feel better."
140. "Once upon a time-" "Oh please, not another fairytale."
141. "If only it was that easy."
142. "We are stuck in a maze, how can you be so joyful?"
143. "Celebrate Hero, eat your cake, party into the night... but just know, I will be back."
144. "Call 911!" "Why?" "I stubbed my toe."
145. "Your jawline looks like it was gauzed over in lard." "It looks better than your hay for hair."
146. "You're my best friend." "Villain? Are you on drugs?"
147. "Lay him there and leave him. Let the rats dine on him."
148. "The point of the cow suit?" "Oh, uh, I was at a Halloween parade. You know, for children."
149. "I-i never wanted to hurt you." "I know, I wanted you to, so I allowed it."
150. "Favorite movie?" "Your death." "Ooo never heard of it, let's watch it." "*groans* Oh my gosh, you are stupid."
151. "Being a flutist is my only superpower. And being modest apparently."
152. "Your head will join my collection if yoi don't watch out."
153. "Hey, hey! Wake up, buddy. It's just a nightmare."
154. "Meh head hurts." "Yeah, you hit it pretty hard."
155. "Let's go for a ride." "On that yellow miniature school bus?" "It's a ranger you idiot."
156. "No painkillers, no bandages, perfect environment for infection to settle... I'm just gonna leave you here Villain."
157. "I save you and this is how you repay me? A prison?"
158. "What are you doing?" "Climbing a tree? No Hero, I am breaking into your house to kidnap you."
159. "I formally apologize."
160. "Of all places, Hero, you had to teleport us to a desert. A DESERT."
161. "Supervillain won't stop unless we team up." "I don't think our alliance will stop them, I think it'll just make them angrier."
162. "Stop singing or I will blow this place until even the last atom is broken into itty-bitty molecules!" "That... that is scientifically impossible."
163. "I'm a genius! Yippee!"
164. "Life isn't perfect and nor is your morals."
165. "Control yourself before you kill everyone around you."
166. "Say your goodbyes."
167. "Of all the ways I've died, drowning was by far the nicest."
168. "Love the collar. Is it for fashion purposes?" "Uh, um, uh, er, no?"
169. "You look lonely. Want some hot coco?"
170. "It is negative million out there and you expect me to come in toasty warm after fixing your power?"
171. "Are you sick?" "Yeh." "Come on in then."
172. "Civilian, don't even bother trying to save him."
173. "We have a breach!"
174. "What makes a villain's life less important than your's?"
175. "Enjoy your soup." "You poisoned it." "And you're delusional, eat up."
176. "I hate 99% of the population." "According to a meme I found, you are therefore a cat."
177. "Don't overuse your powers."
178. "This is just an unfortunate event."
179. "You look so cute when you are sleepy and barely conscious."
180. "His fever is rising."
181. "Save her, leave me. I'll-i'll get out of this somehow."
182. "Sometimes self-sacrifice isn't noble, it's selfish."
183. "You are so funny that I need my inhaler to kill you with." "That sentence was so discombobulated that I am leaving."
184. "Just for your information, I hate oranges but love grapes."
185. "Walking down the stairs shouldn't be a momental effort." "You broke both your legs."
186. "You just destroyed my life's work, don't expect me to give you a huge bear hug."
187. "Is it true that you have telekinesis?" "Yes, why?" "Go steal me a donut."
188. "You are so incredibly touch starved, Villain." "Mmm." "Tired? Go ahead and sleep, I'm here."
189. "This is for your own good, I promise."
190. "I'm cold."
191. "I don't want to move and you can't make me."
192. "I AM RETIRED! YOU DON'T NEED TO CONTINUE TO SEND ME PAMPHLETS OF THE HOTTEST HERO OF THE YEAR!"
193. "He's unconscious." "That tired, huh." "No, he passed out from blood loss."
194. "I want a kitten."
195. "I'm no scared of you, so stop acting like I am."
196. "He isn't dangerous, just scared."
197. "They won't be going anywhere for a long, long time."
198. "Hero? Hero? Oh my goodness, please wake up."
199. "Life is too short for pleasures."
200. "I hope you are happy, in the end."
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finaledenialist · 4 years ago
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so in one of your asks you said you dont think cas was in love with dean since the beginning and idk its interesting to me because everyone seem to think he was from the start so what is your take on that? idk im just curious haha
ohhh I wanted to make a post about this so thanks for asking!
disclaimer: I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade I just have a different take on this whole thing!!! 
So. I see people are like: OMG he was in love ALL THIS TIME SINCE 4x01 and I am like: no. 
Was he lost since he laid his hand on Dean in hell? Yes. Was he instantly in love? Nah.
See, Cas in season 4 and 5 is starting to feel. He is conflicted, he is questioning, he doesn’t have ‘people skills’, he is confused by what he feels, he knows there is a ‘profound bond’ between him and Dean and he is rebelling for Dean, because Dean has a point and Cas feels Dean is right and apocalypse and destruction are wrong, and this human is so human and he never had that connection before. Add the sexual innuendos, the eye fucking and the tension between those two and this is what i call ‘classic destiel’. I do have a strong feeling this is partly Jensen’s and Misha’s fault though haha but I am also convinced that the jokes like ‘Cas, get out of my ass!’/’Blow me Cas’ are purely for ‘comedic purposes’ because haha gay so funny (keep in mind it’s still 2008/2009 and things were so different then BUT we still got Endverse which had not only sexual stuff implied but romantic as well - ‘all we have left, Dean and I, is each other, if Dean says it’s time to go in a blaze of glory, so be it’ (I am writing this from memory so these might not have been exact lines but you know what I am talking about).
And then in season 6 and 7 is where things start to get romantic. ‘I watched you rake leaves’, Dean’s blind faith that no, Cas can’t be working with Crowley behind their backs because come on it’s Cas and the whole 6x20 episode is *chief’s kiss* and then season 7 and Cas dies to make things right and Dean keeps his trenchcoat and moves it from every car they have been using that season to always have it with him because part of me always believed you’d come back. OK, but I was meant to be talking mostly about Cas’ point of view. Which takes me back to 7x23 and I’d rather have you, cursed or not. I think these words had a major impact on Cas. Something just clicked. Because he realized that he could say these exact same words to Dean and they still would be true. 
And then we got season 8 which was a major shift and it really moved stuff from ‘sexual tension’ to ‘romantic tension’ and it’s still called ‘season fanfiction’ because I wanted to keep them away from you in purgatory and Cas generally not feeling worthy of anything but I think this is when he started to realize that what he feels is not like ‘brotherly friendship’ but something much deeper but he had his issues (I don’t deserve to be saved from purgatory thing) so he kind of kept it buried. But this was when the Real Love really started. But did he admit it to himself? Well I am not in Cas’ head but something must have been on his mind - Naomi had access too his mind and she immediately recognized that there is a certain Feeling that is dangerous and Cas needs to be fucking lobotomized (I still have shivers thinking about it). Did Naomi knew it was love? Idk, but she felt something was going on - that is why she tried to mess things up between Dean and Cas (I only wish he felt the same way ouch my heart....) and Metatron also recognized it, quicker and better (maybe because he spent much more time on earth and was generally a little more powerful and knowing as the scribe of God) and he immediately used Cas’ grace to banish angels from heaven because Cas was feeling love for a human. But did he, himself recognized it as love? Did he admit it to himself? I still have a feeling that no. I still think that his ‘I don’t know’ after Dean’s ‘What broke the connection?’ was honest.
Now let me fast forward to season 12, because this post is getting too long already and while seasons 9-11 had some good episodes and even good destiel scenes I feel this was the time many people - rightly so - were starting to lose faith in canon destiel, starting with Dean not letting Cas stay in the bunker in season 9 and bros acting like they only call Cas when they need him. I repeat - there were still some good episodes, even great ones. And we were shown Cas worried about Dean and being there for him anytime Dean called, there was so much pining but once again let me raise The Question: did Cas know what he was feeling was love? Or was he still confused, not letting himself believe, not being able to name his own feelings and emotions? And this is merely my opinion but this is also time where many people started to be bitter and negative by how writers treated Cas (and other characters in general but I am not gonna dive into that dumpster now, especially the Cas-having-sex-with-a-reaper thing which was awful, but in retrospect is even more awful because if it was Chuck’s writing this seems like some kind of sick attempt to do a conversion therapy and I want to throw up; plus he thought? he was into his boss at gas’n’sip and he thought she was into him and what even was it if not a. bad writing; b. Cas being confused; c. Cas being confused about this bad writing).
So season 12. First of all 12x12, when Cas thought he is gonna die and the infamous line ‘I love you. I love all of you’ happened. I  am 100% sure this is when Cas realized. This must have prompted questions for him. Why did I say what I said? He blurted those words out but why like that? Aaaand after some thinking I think he realized why. He must’ve been like ‘oooops’. But then Jack was about to be born and he had to protect Kelly and then he died.
And then he is in the Empty who says - I know who you love, I know what you fear, there is nothing for you out there. She doesn’t know shit, she just has access to Cas’ mind and apparently those were his thoughts, already at that time, he thought there was nothing for him out there (again, his depression issues) BUT THEN CAS, MY SWEET CAS, THIS BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKER says fuck you Empty in one of his best monologues (before 15x18 I’d say it was his best but here we are) and she yeets him out, because HE decided HE is already saved and he doesn’t need a permission and you can preen and you can scream and yell and remind me of my failings but somehow, I'm awake. And I will stay awake and I will keep you awake until we both go insane. I will fight you. Fight you and fight you for... ever. For eternity. 
And then Jack dies and he takes the humiliating deal.  And now we’re at 15x18 and he says: ‘I have always wondered.... ever since I took that burden.... What my true happiness can even look like... Because the one thing I want is the one thing I can’t have’. SEE THESE WORDS HERE ARE WHY I CAN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT. BECAUSE THEY IMPLY at least to me THAT:
1. He was aware of his feelings, he knew what he felt was love at the time he took the deal. and after that he was like ‘I guess I am immortal now’ because the one thing I want is the one thing I can’t have so nothing else is going to make him truly happy; this also implies that there is only one thing he truly wants and the rest is just not that important, whatever else happens won’t make him happy which is heartbreaking;
2. He knew what he wanted, so this means that at some point he wondered, he imagined, he took his time to picture the ‘thing’ he wanted. Which is life with Dean. Because he is in love. LIKE HE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS, HE REALLY DID AND HE CONCLUDED THAT THIS IS OUT OF HIS REACH (now people argue if that is because he thinks it’s unrequited or because he thinks that something something hunter life-fighting all the time-no attachments lifestyle won’t allow them to have this sort of life - and frankly, knowing that he learned everything, or almost everything about emotions from Dean, who isn’t really good at them, I am not surprised if he is sure that this feeling is one-sided, because maybe he conquered his fears in the Empty the first time around but taking the deal must have made him anxious and Chuck still calls him self-hating so he probably thinks this is one-sided and he is unworthy of love anyway);
3. He tried to imagine different scenarios that would make him happy but eventually it all came down to That One True Scenario, out of his reach, that couldn’t compare with anything else, and he tells Jack - you know about that deal, it’s ok, I don’t see myself becoming happy anytime soon AND IT HURTSSS
so to conclude and tl;dr - I think Cas realized that what he was feeling was love after 12x12 although he felt it before but might have been confused by it. I do not think he was ~in love~ since 4x01. There was tension and there was pining but no. This feeling evolved, it didn’t *just* happen in the barn. 
also i am so sorry this took so long but i have thoughts and feelings and can’t form a coherent sentence since november 5th anyway thanks for asking nonny, ily!!!!
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kristallioness · 4 years ago
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2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019
*arrives a month late*... Happy 2021 to all of you, my dear followers! *raises a glass* It seems that my tendency to finish my artwork or personal posts on time has only gotten worse over time (I blame work *lol*). Oh well, better late than never, since there are things I would still like to take with me from this extraordinary year of 2020.
It is cringeworthy that I have two huge red X-s this year. But after I'd put these puzzle pieces together, I remembered far too well what was going on in my (work) life at the time, so it's completely understandable why I didn't have the time nor the energy to draw at all during those two months.
What were those typical statistics that I wrote about again to compare the years? *goes to read last year's post*.. Oh, right! In 2020, I managed to finish 3 full digital drawings (from the months of April, July and December) as well as work on several sketches. I wrote 28,154 words worth of fanfiction (oohh, that's a lot better than previous year), plus 3,126 words in English (I dare say I wrote an equal amount in Estonian) for the prompts I got during UYLD (making the total 31,280 words, which is quite impressive!).
I finished reading the 1st Kyoshi novel in the evening of the 20th and slightly past midnight on the 21st December (barely before the holidays, but I set this goal for myself and I did it!). Am already looking forward to starting with the 2nd part some time this year. Besides that, I ordered and received all the other new Avatar books that came out (3rd part of "Ruins of the Empire", "Katara and the Pirate's Silver", "Legacy of the Fire Nation") as well as BOTH Avatar series DVD sets (I still can't believe I found these on sale on some random online store in Estonia, but these are now among my most prized possessions!).
I finally started my Avatar rewatch last January, but merely got to the Ba Sing Se episodes in Book 2 (I need to continue with "The Earth King") and now it's been 5 YEARS since I last saw Korra. Reading through my journal personal posts from last year, I know far too well that it's not about rushing through it as fast as possible. Instead, I should enjoy the ride and continue watching the episodes when I'm well rested and in the right mood. That way I'll end up feeling much more at peace.
As for the entire year as a whole? I don't think anyone in this world of ours was prepared for the way this decade would begin - with an uncontrollable pandemic, the virus of which is randomly attacking and threatening to wipe out the weakest amongst us. If any of you (or even if you know someone who) have lost a loved one to this plague, there is not much else I can offer but my sincerest condolences! Me, my family, friends and colleagues seem to have managed to avoid catching it so far. *spits 3 x over her shoulder*
I had such high hopes for this year in so many ways. Event-wise I was looking forward to watching the Eurovision Song Contest in May (where Uku Suviste was supposed to represent Estonia for the 1st time ever after so many unfortunate failures to get selected as the winner of our local competition), the European Football Championships in June (asking my colleagues which countries they support, perhaps make fun bets / guesses with them to see whose team would win the matches), the Tokyo Olympic Games in July-August, the President of Estonia (Mrs. Kersti Kaljulaid) coming to visit my hometown to celebrate our Victory Day by taking part in the parade together with the Defence Forces (after 15 years *sigh*)...
I will always remember my last big event, which took place when life used to be "normal", so to say. It was the 102nd anniversary of Estonia on the 24th of February, when I took part of all the most important celebrations in Tallinn on our Independence Day, FULL-TIME (whenever I scroll through my Facebook timeline, I see the photos I uploaded of that day, my heart melts and I smile fondly). But the day after that.. utter hell broke loose. We had our first infected person in the country.
I will also remember the last day I went to work in "normal" conditions. Friday, the 13th of March (typically my lucky day-number combination): I missed the tram I wanted to get on in the morning, at work my team received great news that one of our colleague's family had grown bigger by a new tiny member the day before, we had our last team lunch together, we discussed the safety measures that we should take and joked about what might happen next week, I took the bus home instead of the tram (as the tram's route came from the airport and that place was considered to be more dangerous and with a higher risk of catching this virus).. It was another 2.5 weeks later by then (since the 25th of February) - Estonia (along with the rest of Europe) went into full lockdown.
The beginning was frightening and people were on edge, nobody really knew what to do nor what was gonna happen next. But in time, things began to shake into place and everybody developed a comfortable routine for remote work, including figuring out how to get everyday things done (such as grocery shopping). I found solace in taking photographs of various beautiful bird species, who began to fly around and serenaded me during spring, visiting the trees around my "nest" i.e. rented apartment (with a pair of them ACTUALLY building a nest in the chestnut tree right beside my window, thus turning me into a protective godmother of their chicks).
To be honest, I was awestruck by the positive / surprising aftermath of this lockdown: how the world / environment began to heal itself from the pollution that was normally caused by humans. I was taken aback by how dead silent our usually loud capital became in my neighbourhood (I could only hear trams passing by my house according to their schedules, practically no cars whatsoever, streets were empty of people.. absolute silence).
By May-June, things started to look up in Estonia (as well as the rest of Europe) and people were allowed to start travelling / moving around more freely. During my vacation in July, I managed to go to my last (open air) event (for the rest of the year) under these new "corona" conditions and ended up having a blast at the Open Farm Days in my home county for the first time.
Our country's shining moment came during the first week of September, when we hosted the first ever Rally Estonia of the World Rally Championship (WRC), where our very own Ott Tänak and Martin Järveoja won. The event was so well organized and successful that nobody caught the virus nor did the spectators / participants spread it to others, which surely must've helped in ensuring us a spot in the WRC calendar for 2021 as well.
The remainder of the year was rather dull, with the exception of the US Presidential elections in November, when we were all holding our breaths that Joe Biden would win (congratulations, my American friends!). This eventually led to the painful downfall of THE WORST government the Republic of Estonia has ever had, and to the rise of our first female Prime Minister, Kaja Kallas (both happening in January 2021, I couldn't believe it all spiralled so soon, ha-ha!).
Anyways, during the last 4 months, work was very stressful and driving me nuts, so badly that when I eventually went on vacation before Christmas, I had a slight anxiety disorder that wouldn't let me relax for several days (luckily it went away just as quickly once I began to take it easy and managed to get some proper rest / sleep).
In hindsight, I kind of get this weird feeling as if I saw this whole thing coming, given how actively I was living my life throughout 2019. My final year of the 2010's was so full of important events and personal achievements. It's almost as if something mysterious inside was driving me, telling me to visit all the places and do all the things I wanted to do, cause I wouldn't have this sort of a chance again for a very long time.
This must be the main reason why I am thankful for 2020 for going the way it did. Sure, I'm disappointed that a lot of events were cancelled, that so many people have had to leave this world so soon due to this unpredictable disease.. But I think there are so many lessons to take from what came out of all of this. I believe the world needed some sort of a restart or break, given in what direction we were headed (politically, economically, environmentally, socially etc.). I'm just sorry it's had to come with such a high price of innocent lives.
I have even higher hopes for 2021, given how amazingly January has already passed for me and my country, and what is to come in my hometown in February. Let's take the lessons learned from 2020 with us and keep on heading back towards the "normal" lifestyle we used to know. Except this time, let's improve our ways, put all the hatred behind us, be more considerate, keep a distance, stay safe, but still try to make the world a better place for everyone. Thank you so much for reading, for remaining by my side, and for your support and love throughout the years, my friends! I hope to see you all alive and healthy at the end of the white metal ox year of 2021! *virtual hugs*
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angelkurenai · 6 years ago
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About that - Jensen Ackles x Reader
Title: About that
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader
Warnings: None
Prompt: i have a request since it’s Monday(: it’s Jensen x Reader and they’ve been dating for years and she surprises him at a panel and he’s super happy since they’ve been apart for like 2 months and afterwards they go and meet some fans and Jensen hears someone talk bad about the reader and he has something to say to all the fans in the area!
A/N: Protective Jensen is everything!
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“So then we started making those sounds, it was Jared's idea to be honest but I love it so we-” Jensen continued with his story.
“What sounds?!” a fan yelled from the crowd, making him pause before giving them a sly smirk.
“Oh wouldn't you like to hear them again! I see lots of phones filming already.” he pointed at them, narrowing his eyes but grinning mischievously “I'll tell you, there is only one woman on this Earth that can get those noises out of me and, sadly enough, she's not here. So you'll have to put up with just a description of that as I just move on!”
“So you're saying-” Jared spoke up, before Jensen could continue, with a smirk that his friend didn't notice “If (Y/n) was here, you would actually repeat every little sound you'd made for her? Say-” he thought for a moment with a innocentshrug “Some you might have made for her the last time you saw her two months ago and didn't let someone-” he pointed at himself “Get any sleep the whole freaking night?!” and once he completed his sentence the entire audience went wild.
As the fans cheered, and some of them laughed, Jensen his his face behind one hand and laughed in embarrassment. His face heated up and he looked down at his feet with a grin that he couldn't help but admit that it looked more like one of a lovestruck teen at the thought of you. Even after years of the two of you dating he still felt as if it was the first day, the love he held for you in his heart was one that warmed his entire being from the deepest parts of his soul. He never thought he'd get to experience such a true and deep feeling, never thought he'd be this blessed to experience it, but from the moment he met you his every day had become a living heaven.
If there was one thing he hated the most was being away from you for longer than he could take. Alright, maybe Jensen couldn't take more than a day away from you – you were that kind of cliNgy couple sometimes – but he still hated having to leave you back for days or weeks, or worse months, when he got away to shoot a scene or attend a convention and facetiming most of the time just wouldn't do it for him.
But before he could get the opportunity to give back a snarky and funn response to his brother, someone else beat him at it. He felt a pair of soft arms wrap around his shoulders from behind before a person leaned over him and spoke “And to think we were trying to keep it low.”
And that was all it took for the fans to go crazy and cheer for you, espressing in the most accurate way the feelings rising up in Jensen's chest at that moment. It was like a parade, the happiness and excitement mixing with love and adoration and everything else he felt for you like the confetti in a parade. He jumped from his seat and with a grin that made his cheeks hurt, he didn't wait a split second before wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. He lifted you off your feet with a deep chuckle, earning a squeal from you, and spoon your around before setting you down, cupping your face in his hands and kissing your lips lovingly and passionately. He tried to pour all of his emotions into it, the longing being the most strong one.
“God, I missed you.” he said in a hoarse voice, pulling away from you and looking at you as if it was the first time he'd seen you in years.
“I missed you too.” you breathed out in that soft voice that made his heart skip a beat “You have no idea how much.”
“How the heck do you do this? You're even more beautiful than the last time I saw you, baby.”he breathed out in such awe that made you bit your lower lip before pecking his lips quickly.
“Alright, alright you two enough with the PDA.” Jared said with a teasing smile, getting up from his seat to give you a quick hug before he pulled a chair for you to sit there with them too.
“Not my fault I'm a lucky man.” Jensen shrugged before turning to the fans “Can you believe this woman is mine? Just look at her!” he motioned, making you blush even harder “She's gorgeous and I'm just freaking blessed!” he looked at you with a boyish grin “Who ships it?” he turned back to the fans who instantly answered his question with lots of cheering and clapping “Then say hello to your captain, come on board!”
You laughed at his words, realizing how true they actually were. If you ever appeared on the show as he's been trying to convince you into doing, he would make your ship into a shirt and wear it on every con he possibly could. You waved at the fans who smiled and waved back at you just as enthusiastically with big smiles.
“Well, no surprise there, honey.” you chuckled “Hello everyone! Wow there's so many of you, how are you? You're having fun tonight or are they boring you to death?”
“Oh if anything, your boyfriend here was letting on some very interesting details.” Jared said with a smirk and you chuckled.
“Did you plan all of this?” Jensen raised an eyebrow at you and Jared but you shook your head.
“I was only waiting backstage to surprise you but then I heard what you were talking about and I found the perfect opportunity to jump in.” you smiled “So here I am-” you turned to look at the fans “And I'm so ready to share every little detail about the sounds Jensen makes for me in private.” your words instantly sent the fans into a frenzy, all the excitement showing through.
Your boyfriend laughed next to you, head lowered before he spoke into his microphone “The funny thing about this is I don't know if she's serious or not.”
“Now you know what I go through on an everyday basis with you.” you said with a shrug “But seriously, we have more important things to talk about here. What I'm really wondering about is... what should I start with? The way he was begging me or moaning?” the seriousness in your words had the fans both cheering and laughing because of how red Jensen's face was starting to turn.
“And I'm really starting to think I should just kiss you to make you stop.” he said with a chuckle and you ended up laughing, resting your head on his shoulder.
“Aw honey don't worry, I'm not gonna embarrass you in front of your fans.” you kissed his cheek before looking at them with a small smirk and added “A lot.”
~*~
“For a moment you had me really scared there.” Jensen kissed your cheek as he had an arm wrapped around your waist.
“Well, I don't come often to surprise you during cons, so I should make it memorable huh?” you giggled, kissing his lips “But don't worry, the sounds you make in bedroom are only meant for me and me alone to know.” you grinned before shrugging “Oh and apparently Jared when we won't let him sleep.”
“You say that again.” he added with a soft smile before you both turned to the fans that you had just approached and were looking at you with awe-struck smiles.
“Hey!” you grinned when you noticed how nervous they looked.
“Hi, oh my gosh we can't believe we're meeting the both of you here today!” one of the three girls said with a wide smile.
“This is totally the best birthday gift ever! We've been literally shipping you two ever since we saw those photos of your first date six years ago!” the other one added, making your smile even wider and earning a soft laugh from your boyfriend “But the more we know you the more we loved you, (Y/n). We all look up to you so much, no offence Jensen, but she is our idol!”
“None taken.” Jensen shook his head, kissing your temple “I know she's awesome.”
“And we can't wait to see you make an appearance in Supernatural very soon!” the third one added.
But before Jensen had the chance to say something about it, he caught sound of something that instantly made his carefree attitude and all the happiness he felt from having you in his arms to anger. It was a fan, or at least she thought herself as that, because Jensen could never use that word to describe a person who showed so little disrespect to you and therefore him, because you were the woman he loved more than anyone.
“I really hope only as the dead body of a victim.” a girl not far away from him said with a snicker, obviously having heard their conversation.
“Oh please, don't make go through that. She will look even worse that now.” another one muttered with a roll of her eyes that made Jensen clench not only his jaw but also his fists.
“Sometimes I wonder what the hell Jensen even sees in her? She's not even remotely beautiful, let alone cute or funny. And with that body? Are you kidding me.” the words were a little louder this time and Jensen knew that if you heard it, then you did a great job at hiding the fact that it bothered you - because it always did, just like when you saw several comments on the two of yours photos on the internet and all - and focused only on the girls you were talking with at the moment. But despite your heartwarming smile and laugh, Jensen still felt his blood boiling inside of him.
“He'll just get rid of her, you'll see. He's just having fun with her, that's how all men do.” there came a shrug that made a small growl leave his lips, they were talking about you as if you were merely an object when you were his entire world “She has no place here, anyway, and she knows it too. It's just a matter of time until he sees it. Maybe then-”
But enough was enough and he just snapped before he could stop himself “As far as I know, the only two that don't deserve to be here are you two.”
The roughness in his voice along with the volume caught more than the two girls' attention. It was as if silence set around in the room and everybody, including you and his friends, looked at the man towering with a puffed out chest and clenched jaw glaring at them.
“Wh-what?” one of them asked in a low voice, so quiet and almost shy that it would have made Jensen look like he was crazy. But he knew very well what he'd heard and how far from innocent they were.
“Can I ask you something? Since you obviously have formed an opinion about my girlfriend that you just talked about.” he crossed his arms over his chest and your eyes widened.
“Jens, please don't.” you whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder but he shook his head.
“Do you get off on bringing women down? Or do you maybe think that if by some chance (Y/n) and I weren't together you'd have some chance?” he raised an eyebrow “Because let me tell you, rude and disrespectful women with no care and even more no support for other good women are so no my type. If anything, they repel and annoy me more than anything in this world.”
“We- we didn't mean-” one of them stuttered but Jensen shook his head.
“Oh I know very well what you meant, as I heard it all.” he took a deep breath, looking at you when you squeezed his shoulder to stop him or at least calm him down, but he could see the effect the words had on you “I've said this before, those who don't love or at least respect the woman I've chosen to be with are not my fans and certainly not my family. And this fandom is a family she too has helped built, because if it wasn't for her I'd have quit acting in the first place for reasons you don't even know because, well, everything is very simple in your mind, isn't it?”
He let out a heavy sigh, looking around him “Alright everyone, listen up!” he forced a smile on his lips, more for your sake “I wanted to thank everyone who has shown their support throughout all of this, because I've really seen the way you embraced and loved her. It means more than I can describe in words to me, because I felt like you were embracing another part of me.” he looked around to see only smiled, genuine ones, and caring eyes that truly reminded him that this fandom was indeed a family, if he excluded the fake fans. “Because this woman...” he took hold of your hand, letting a soft chuckle “Is much more than just a girlfriend to me.”
He kissed your hand with a smile before turning to them again “Because this woman, and you are the first ones to know it besides the old dudes near the stage and my family-” he looked at his costars with a chuckle “Because this woman is my fiance, my soon-to-be very loving wife and hopefully one day mother of our children.” and no sooner had he uttered the words left his lips than the loudest cheers he'd ever heard filled the room.
You laughed as you covered your ears from how loud they were and he chuckle as well, wrapping his arms around you in a loving hug. You didn't even have the mind to think about the girls that hurried out of the room as his lips found yours in a loving kiss.
“About those kids...” you started with a smirk, when he pulled away, making him raise an eyebrow.
“Yes?”
“When you say one day... you wouldn't mind if that one day is in about six months from now, right?” and of course he wasn't the only one that heard those words.
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themyskira · 6 years ago
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The Life of Captain Marvel - prologue
Sooooo, yep, we’re doing this.
I’m going to recap this travesty of a comic issue by issue, but before we dig into the many crimes of The Life of Captain Marvel, I thought it would be helpful to lay down some context.
Margaret Stohl’s miniseries radically reimagines Carol’s origin and family, in particular her parents, Joe and Marie Danvers. So let’s take a look at who they were before Stohl took a hacksaw to them.
Joe and Marie Danvers are first introduced in Ms Marvel vol. 1 #13 (1978) by Chris Claremont and Jim Mooney.
Some background for this: In the 70s, cape comics were increasingly delving into social issues not only as story fodder, but as a selling point. Successes like the 1970 Green Lantern/Green Arrow (which explored addiction, racism, income inequality and corruption) and The Amazing Spider-Man’s 1971 “Green Goblin Reborn!” (which famously abandoned the Comics Code in order to portray the negative impact of drug abuse) prompted more comics to address relevant social issues of the day (with… varying degrees of sensitivity, shall we say).
The Ms Marvel comic, which launched in 1977, was heavily coloured by (a white male comic writer’s interpretation of) the women’s liberation movement. It’s flagged right there in the title: as both a civilian and in her superhero alter ego, Carol Danvers refuses to be defined by her marital status, insisting on being called ‘Ms’ rather than ‘Miss’.
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“And one thing more, Jonah… My name is Ms. Carol Danvers.”
When we first meet Carol in issue #1, she’s introduced as a smart, driven career woman and a proud feminist who is hired by J. Jonah Jameson as editor of the Bugle’s Woman magazine (an allusion to the feminist Ms magazine). In the space of a page, she’s talked the penny-pinching Jonah into paying her a high salary, while refusing to cave to his insistence that she prioritise diets and recipes over interviews and stories about women’s issues and activities.
To what extent the 1970s Ms Marvel succeeds as a feminist hero is debatable. What’s important here is that Carol is framed from the get-go as a hero who fights against misogyny as well as the usual parade of supervillains.
So obviously her dad was going to be a male chauvinist.
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Carol: Dad, it’ll take more than words to stop Plumm. You need evidence. I’m a journalist — a trained investigator. If the building’s unsafe, I can help you prove it. I can get— Joe: Outta here, Kitten, an’ leave a man t’ do a man’s work in peace.
But Chris Claremont, to his credit, gave the character and the relationship a little more nuance than that.
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“Joe Danvers. Five-nine and two hundred pounds of muscle, a man who’s worked his entire life with his hands, who started with nothing and built a successful contracting business until the recession of ’76 kicked it in the teeth.”
We first meet Joe at work on a construction site. The high-rise project has been plagued with problems, thanks to what we’ll later discover is deliberate sabotage by the site owner, and now one of Joe’s crew is trapped dangling from a fallen steel pylon several storeys above. Joe rushes to the man’s aid.
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Man: Joe, what’re ya doin’?! Joe: Whaddaya think?! He’s one o’ my crew— I’m goin’ out after him!
With his courage and quick thinking, Joe saves the man’s life.
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Andy: I’m scared, Joe. My God, am I gonna die?!? Joe: Not if I can help it. Just hang loose, Andy, and trust me!
Joe begins to suspect that the owner is cutting corners at the expense of workers’ safety. Investigating after hours, he discovers the whole site is at risk of structural collapse. Furious, he calls the owner, who first denies it and then tries to threaten Joe into silence. Joe refuses to be cowed.
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Plumm: We’re within the building codes. Joe: Bull! Plumm: I warn you, Danvers— push me too far and I’ll make you live to regret it. Joe: Stick it in yer ear, punk! You’re finished, Plumm — ‘cause I’m blowin’ the whistle on you an this pitiful excuse for a buildin’!
Throughout, Claremont takes the time to illustrate the commonalities between Carol and her father. They’re both people of courage and conviction, with nerves of steel. They also share a stubbornness and a temper that doesn’t always do either of them any favours.
And, yeah, Joe is a sexist jerk.
When Carol offers her journalistic skills and connections to help expose Plumm, Joe dismisses her. And when Ms Marvel ultimately saves Joe’s life, he grumbles about her interfering. The idea that he might need a woman’s help to do a ‘man’s work’ is utterly demeaning in his mind.
In later issues, we learn that the reason Carol joined the military in the first place was because it was the only way she could afford to pay for college after Joe flatly refuses to help her out, saying it’s more important for her brother Steve to get an education and “besides, you don’t need college to find a good husband”.
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So Carol joins the Air Force, makes her own way, builds her dream career and becomes a hero on her own terms. Yet no matter how high she flies, it never seems to be enough for Joe. He doesn’t understand what she wants from life, she doesn’t meet his expectations for what a daughter or a young woman ought to be, and for that Carol feels she’s never been able to gain his approval or acceptance.
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“All I ever wanted was for Dad to accept me as I am, not as he wanted me to be. And now I know that no matter what I do, or how well I do it— he never will.”
Marie, unfortunately, gets short shrift in Claremont’s Ms Marvel. We see that she’s supportive and proud of Carol, buying every issue of Carol’s magazine and enthusiastically recommending it to all of her friends. We see that, unlike Joe, Marie sees Carol for who she is and loves her for it. And she’s not fooled for a second by the Ms Marvel costume.
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“I gave birth to you, Carol. I raised you. I love you. I’d know my first-born anywhere, behind any disguise.”
But unlike Joe, we never get a sense of who she is as a character or what kind of relationship she has with Carol. Indeed, for the most part she’s just there to mediate Carol’s relationship with Joe, making excuses for her husband, downplaying the hurt he’s caused Carol and encouraging Carol not to let his misogyny bother her. Which is a problem in itself.
Carol’s backstory got a light revamp for the modern era in 2008’s Ms Marvel vol. 2 #31.
In this version of events, Joe is less overtly misogynistic. He doesn’t outright refuse to help Carol with college or suggest that she ought to be looking for a husband… but those sexist assumptions are still hanging around beneath the surface and he never truly accepts Carol, unable to reconcile her wants and ambitions with his ideas of what a daughter should be.
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“The things I did… and this was before I had super-powers… I saved the world a few times, Dad. Would that make you proud? I don’t think it would. I wasn’t Steven, was I? I wasn’t Joe Junior with his architecture degree. And I wasn’t your perfect little boy in a Red Sox fan [sic]. I was just the little girl you were always uncomfortable with… never knew how to talk to.”
The breaking point in their relationship, and the impetus for Carol to join the Air Force, comes with the death of her (older, in this version) brother Steven, who dies overseas in military service.
Unable to cope with his grief, Joe starts drinking to numb his feelings with alcohol, developing a serious drinking problem (this retcon was a nod to Ms Marvel’s own battle with alcoholism, which had been explored in a number of comics at this point).
And seventeen-year-old Carol looks around her, seeing a father near-catatonic with grief and booze and a mother struggling to keep the family afloat on her single salary, and she concludes that if she wants to go to college and become an astronaut then she’s going to have to rely on her own resources. So the moment she turns eighteen, she joins the Air Force.
And her father explodes.
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“Why, after what happened to Steven, why would you even want— are you @#$%ing insane?!”
He’s still consumed by the death of his son, and now his daughter is putting her own life on the line in pursuit of a dream he has never understood or taken seriously. He’s terrified and angry and convinced she’s doing it just to spite him.
And no matter how high she flies, she’ll never measure up to his idealised memories of the child he lost. His approval is always out of reach.
Meanwhile, once again, Marie gets shafted. She’s absent in the flashbacks and a one-dimensional figure in the present day, giving no sense of her personality or her relationship with Carol.
There’s one more version of Carol’s backstory, and it comes -- curiously enough -- from Margaret Stohl’s previous run on Mighty Captain Marvel in 2017.
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Joe: Ah, Bean... Since my tour of duty ended, things have been tight. College tuition... [...] I can pay one tuition, Bean. For Stevie. Joe has my hands, he can frame houses with me. Carol: That’s not fair! What about me? What am I supposed to do? Joe: Find yourself a nice boy -- heck, a nice astronaut -- and settle down.
Essentially it’s a modernisation of the original Claremont version. Joe Danvers is a loving father who wants the best for all of his children. But what he sees as best is shaped by his sexist preconceptions — a college degree is more essential for Steve, who he assumes will be supporting a family, than Carol, who’ll be raising one — and a complete failure to understand his daughter and how deep her ambitions run. What she feels in her bones as a calling, he sees as a cute obsession that she’ll outgrow, once she’s settled down with the right man. And that hurts. “It’s a lonely thing,” Carol reflects, “when the people who love you don’t know who you are”.
This is the kind of nuance which Stohl utterly abandons in The Life of Captain Marvel.
So, common to all of these versions of Carol’s background is
a fraught, complex relationship with a hard-headed father who’s never understood her and whose approval is always beyond Carol’s grasp, and
a vaguely domestic mother with no defined personality beyond a desire to keep the peace between Carol and Joe.
By the end of The Life of Captain Marvel, this will be transformed into
an irredeemably toxic and traumatising relationship with a verbally and physically abusive father who blames Carol for gatecrashing his illicit romance with his mysterious sexy space girlfriend, aka Carol’s mother; and
a vaguely domestic mother (from space) with no defined personality beyond a desire to keep the peace between Carol and Joe.
Buckle up, kids. This is going to be a shitshow from start to finish.
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jo-the-schmo · 6 years ago
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Red, Dead, Reflections Ch.2
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Chapter 1
A/N: Finally! Chapter 2! Remember how I kept saying I was trying to get to a certain part and that’s why it was taking so long? Well, I decided to keep that until the next chapter because it was taking so long and I was already pushing a hefty word count as is. Also, the writing in this chapter isn’t as good as chapter 1 and I’m sorry about that. I’ll do my best to make chapter 3 more enjoyable. I tried really hard with this one but it just didn’t stick. It happens to all of us. I hope you still like it, though! 
Word count: 9,150 (I’m so sorry)
Warnings: Blood, animal death, explicit language, mentions of racism (not expanded, I’m white, I don’t want to be disrespectful) 
Summary: At the age of 23, you and your pseudo-family perform a heist gone wrong, leading you into a dangerous position. Discover your own history, the story of those around you, and gain new relationships along the way in this (eventual) choose your own adventure. 
Tags!: @zoilalove213 @eccentricc-catt 
A/N pt.2: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO LIKED CHAPTER 1! Special thanks to those who wanted to be tagged and those who gave me nice reviews, I love you guys so much! I’m also super sorry that this chapter is mostly character introductions and being on the mountain. I promise you’ll get off this mountain soon! I refuse to have y’all still up there at any point during chapter 4. Hopefully that’ll make up for this gross writing. If the read more function still isn’t working, I’m gonna break Tumblr in half. 
Edit: Holy shit I’m a moron, I forgot to add the title omg I’m a fucking moron
Keep Your Eyes On The Prize
Warmth enraptured your being, wrapping around you. Your eyes fluttered open, the first thing you saw was a fire a few feet away from you. That and the pile of blankets on top of you would explain the all-consuming heat. Where am I now? You heard a light patter coming towards you. You threw the blankets off to ready yourself, worried it could be someone trying to get the upper hand on you. You were surprised to see a small figure with dark hair, who had frozen himself in place. It was a little boy. You raised your hand to surrender.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” You took a deep breath, you lowered your arms when he resumed his approach.
“Don’t worry, I’m not scared.” He hopped up to sit next to you. It just occurred to you that you had been laying on a cot. “Uncle Arthur says you’re a friend, so I wanted to watch out for you.” So that wasn’t a dream.
“Oh, well that’s very nice of you. What’s your name, buddy?” You took on a softer tone, it made you sound more feminine, but you weren’t worried about that.
“Jack Marston. My momma’s been helping to take care of you. Her and Uncle Hosea. They said your name was James?”
“Yes, sir.” You smiled. You thought it better to be safe and keep up the act.
“Uncle Dutch wants to say hi to you now that you’re awake. I can take you to him.” He jumped up, he seemed to be excited that someone new was around You conceded and pried yourself from the cot. Your chest ached. I’ll have to loosen this band again soon, no more sleeping in this thing. Your wig felt askew, so you quickly moved it back in place before the two of exited the room. You left the cabin with Jack, he led you to another one close by. You passed by a woman with long brunette hair who sent you a curious glance. Jack grabbed your hand and pulled you through the door, there was a parade of men all around.
“Ah, it seems our young gentle-friend has awoken from his slumber.” Dutch announced, everyone looked in your direction. No matter how tough you were, a group of this many people would intimidate you. You recognized Arthur and Micah on opposite sides of the room. Jack tugged on your arm again, prompting you to take a few cautious steps into the herd of questioning eyes.
“Is one of you Hosea by chance?” You asked, already slightly out of breath. You still felt exhausted, and your head was killing you. An older man with a stripped scarf stepped forward, a warm smile on his face.
“That would be me, young man.” You weakly gripped his shoulder, partly for a support and partly to show appreciation.
“Jack told me you were one of the people to take care of me, thank you.” His smile widened.
“Oh, it was no trouble, young man.” He looked over at Dutch. “You were right, Dutch. Boy’s got good manners.”
“I told ya you’d like him!” He bellowed humorously. “Young Jack, could you please help Mr. West over here by me?” Jack nodded, ushering you over to the man in the dense black coat. Dutch wrapped an arm around your shoulder to keep you steady, but it was also so that he could present you to the crowd of men in front of you. “Now, gentlemen. This here is James West. He’s a fellow from California who’ lost his way. But make no mistakes, Mr. Morgan and I have both seen the carnage this boy can cause with just his bare hands. We believe that he was captured by those nasty O’Driscolls and took quite the beating because of it. Unfortunately for both us and poor James here, it seems that the injuries he sustained have given him some memory loss.” Memory loss? “He couldn’t even believe what year it was. But he is coherent enough to remember his name and state of residence.” He looked over at you. “Now young man, we know this could be difficult, but you could you try and tell us the last thing you recall.”
These people were insane, or at least you thought they were. You wouldn’t know until you got off this mountain and found some other people, which was clearly not happening any time soon. For now, this was your situation. You were stuck on some mountain in the middle of who-knows-where with bunch of people who thought the year was 1899 and that you were some man who experienced enough blunt-force head trauma to get some mild amnesia. You were never one to bite the hand that feeds you, so you made an executive decision. Play along until you can get to safety.
“I was…with my friends.” These people were willing to kill, so there was no way crime bothered them any. “We were robbing a bank, it went wrong.” You recalled the image of Eli, Austin, and Miguel running away from the scene.  “I got hit…and that’s all I remember.” The only parts you were excluding were the fact that you were shot multiple times and that it was 2019.
“Robbing a bank, huh?” You peaked his interest. “So, you’re an outlaw then, Mr. West.”
“You could call me that, I suppose.”
“Can you shoot?” Micah chimed.
“Oh, I can more than shoot, pal.” This guy rubbed you the wrong way, and you could see a sort of look of approval from Arthur after you said that.
“Wonderful! That means you may repay us for our kindness. I don’t have all the details worked out yet, but I’ll call for you when the time comes. For now, I’d like for you to get situated among our presence. Go on now, introduce yourself to everyone.” Dutch gave a firm pat on the back, your chest tightened. Gasping for air, you checked around the room. There was a room with a door nearby, you stumbled inside, hearing the suspicious whispers of the men behind you hushed by the closing of the door. 
You pressed your back against the wood to keep it shut, stripping out of your jacket and shirt. Your ribs ached while you fumbled around. Eventually, you were able to unwind the band almost fully, the long appendages hanging loosely around your form with your left arm holding the rest of it in place. Your whole chest felt like it was on fire.
“This is what you get for leaving it on, idiot.” You whispered to yourself. You weren’t sure what you were going to do. There were a bunch of people out there waiting for you to come out and you were trapping yourself inside with your secret. “I just need a minute…shit, that hurts.”
You saw your reflection in the window across from you. Well, sort of. It was more like a clouded outline. But you could see the shift in color where the band had been wrapped. Your skin was raw. You could also see two bruises that blended into each other on your forehead, and a dark one on the bridge of your nose. That guy really got you. You pushed yourself off the door, already wincing from the anticipation of needing to bind your chest again. You readjusted and began to wrap. Not so tight this time. You would just be walking around today, there shouldn’t be an issue of it staying in place. You finally managed to get it mostly back together and went to pick up your shirt when you heard the door knob turning. You scrambled to the ground, throwing your jacket over your back. You were surprised to only see Hosea walk in and shut the door behind him. The look in his eyes was knowing and curious. You stood to your feet, arms invisible from underneath the jacket. He looked at your shirt on the ground.
“It seems my suspicions were correct. You aren’t being entirely honest with us, James.” His tone wasn’t worrying, but you thought you’d better explain yourself, fast.
“I’m so sorry, it wasn’t my intention to-“
“Don’t worry about it, son.” He interrupted, leaving you confused. You turned around, using your hand to clasp the jacket closed, hiding yourself from view.
“What?”
“I’ve met many folks in my life, young man. I won’t ask what your situation is, I don’t believe that’s my place yet. But I won’t speak a word of this, just a secret between us.” You breathed a sigh of relief, at least you knew now that one of these men was decent.
“Thank you, Hosea. I really appreciate this, you have no idea.”
“I think I can get some of the picture.” He smiled. “You’re an outlaw, sonny. An outlaw is whoever they want to be.” He turned back towards the door. “Now I’m supposed to be in here checking on you, making sure you aren’t up to anything.”
“That’s fair.” You chuckled.
“So, I have to stay in here with you until you’re ready, but I’ll give you your privacy, don’t worry.” You were thankful that one of these people may be able to keep you on everyone’s good side.
“That’s very kind of you, I can’t thank you enough for this.” You made sure to hurry up and get your shirt and jacket back on. You fixed two of the pins for your wig while you were at it. You were glad Hosea seemed smart enough, you wouldn’t take his kindness for granted, no matter how crazy these people seemed. But you had to be more careful. This wasn’t a time for everyone to be finding out you were not only lying, but the vast list of other things wrong with your situation. The further you could separate yourself from what you had gotten up to the better. These men were killers, but they weren’t you.
“Are you ready, James?” Hosea asked.
“Yes, is everyone still out there?”
“I believe only Dutch and Arthur stayed behind. Arthur and I are supposed to introduce you to everyone.” You nodded, he opened to door and you followed him out to where Dutch and Arthur were talking.
“Ah, thank goodness! What came over you, friend?” Dutch questioned.
“I believe we pushed him too far with the questions, Dutch. He lost his head for a moment.” Hosea excused.
“Yes, I’m sorry for that rude exit. Not sure what happened entirely.” You tried to reassure.
“I see, perhaps we should let the boy rest a bit longer.”
“Thank you, sir, but there’s no need. I don’t wanna be a bother, the least I could do is help around, be of some use.” Now was the time to suck up. You had to repay your debt to him and gain his trust. He liked your answer. He was clearly the leader of the group, and from the few interactions you’d had, you could tell they were tight knit. If you wanted to get off this mountain and not end up like those men at the cabin, you’d have to play into their hand.
“That’s a good man right there, I think we struck luck with this one!” He gestured between Arthur and Hosea. “Could you two show him around, we want him to get acquainted with everyone in camp before we get any further.” They agreed and led you back outside.
“Okay, Hosea, where should we start first?” Arthur asked, fixing his gloves.
“Well, I have some business to discuss with Miss Grimshaw, so I would prefer we find her first.”
“Will Jack’s mom be there? He said she was looking out for me too and I’d like to thank her personally for that.”
“She may be, but we are sure to run into her soon, so don’t fret.” Hosea said. Your group walked trudged through the snow to get to a wooden cabin. You saw mostly women inside, including the brunette who looked at you earlier and Mrs. Adler.
“Fine weather we’re having, ladies.” Arthur joked.
“Yeah, real funny.” A blonde woman rolled her eyes.
“It was. Anyhow, this here is James West. I know y’all have been real curious about him.” You followed their lead and walked over to the group of women. An older woman came forward with her hands on her hips.
“This here is Miss Grimshaw, James. You best respect her, Dutch may want to think we’re his people but we’re really hers.” Hosea’s eyes wrinkled at his own humor.
“Of course, thank you for showing me kindness, Miss Grimshaw.” You made sure to sound serious. You weren’t planning on disrespecting anyone, let alone someone who seemed so important. She cracked a grin and pinched your cheeks. You almost squeaked in surprise, but you managed to hold it in.
“Boy’s got a prettier face than you, Arthur! How old are ya?” She teased.
“23, Miss, that is if my memory serves.”
“Ah, we got ourselves a young one! He’ll be able to do some mighty fine work once he’s back in order. You be sure to repay our kindness, ya got that, young man?”
“With pleasure, Miss. I always repay my debts.” That was certainly true in most cases.
“You also best be careful-“ She grabbed the edge of your jacket and yanked you closer. She lowered her voice in your ear. “Don’t try anything with my girls, ya hear? If I find out you’ve been disrespectful to any of them, my face will be the last thing you see.” She let go to gauge your reaction.
“Of course, Miss Grimshaw. I would never dream of overstepping my bounds. You have my word.” You bowed your head at her as a sign of honest intentions. Her smile returned.
“Fantastic!” She hooked her arm around yours  and lead you closer to the women. “I’ll introduce you then.” She pointed to the blonde with the whole body eyeroll. “The smart mouth is Karen Jones.”
“Howdy.” She waved. Next to her was a red head.
“That one’s Molly O’Shea.” Miss Grimshaw looked at the woman with warm, dark skin in a yellow skirt. “That’s Tilly Jackson, don’t let her sweet talk ya.”
“Hello.” Tilly said with energy in very voice. It suddenly dawned on you that these people were surprisingly less racist than to be expected out of anyone who thinks it’s 1899. You felt lucky for that one. It would tear you up to discover that anyone was being treated badly. These guys may have lost their minds, but intolerance wasn’t something that you tolerated. Especially after everything in your life.  
“That’s Mary-Beth.” She pointed out the brunette from outside, she smiled sweetly up at you.
“Nice to meet you.” She went back to writing after hitting you with that same glance from earlier. The last woman looked up from what she was doing, she was wearing a black hood over her head. “Abigail Marston, she’s my hardest worker.” You recognized the name.
“Are you Jack’s, mother?” You asked.
“Yes, I am.” You carefully stepped over and kneeled down to the level she was sitting at.
“He told me you were one of the people to take care of me while I was out, I wanted to thank you personally for your generosity.” You bowed your head and stood up. “Thank you, Mrs. Marston.”
“Well ain’t you just the definition of a gentleman.” Arthur was clearly trying to tease you, boys were usually like that.
“Don’t get anywhere in life without being kind to those who are kind to you.”
“Fair enough.” You were glad he agreed. You turned your attention back to the women.
“It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance, my name is James West, by the way. I know Arthur already said that, but I try my best to be polite.” Try is the operative word here. Karen whispered to Mary-Beth and Tilly.
“Arthur, take James over to meet the boys and make a good second-impression. I have to speak to Miss Grimshaw for a moment on matters of housing. I’ll meet you over there.” Hosea said as he pulled Miss Grimshaw aside. Arthur lazily waved you over and you made sure not to delay this. You looked back at the group as you walked.
“Thank you for your time, it was nice to meet all of you.” Arthur let you walk out first. The wind hit you like a truck. Arthur held your shoulder to keep you in place and make sure you wouldn’t blow away.
“Ya alright there, partner?” You steadied yourself, he released his grip.
“Yeah, I’m good. Not used to this kind of cold. Thanks for the help.”  
“Everyone went back to their cabin after your episode.” The two of you marched toward the cabin you had woken up in. There was muffled yet loud conversation happening inside. The second the door opened, everyone got quiet. “Hello again, gentlemen.” The room sounded with a few ‘hey Arthur’s before going back down again, everyone was locking eyes on you. It wasn’t a good idea to hide behind Arthur and let him do the talking, they’d prefer you explain yourself.
“Hello everyone.” You stepped around the bulky blue coat, throwing yourself into the spotlight. “My head was unwell back there, I apologize for that. My name is James West, I’d like to help you in anyway I can. I’d hate to mooch off of your hospitality.” They seemed to approve of your answers so far.
“Well don’t be shy, ya idiots, introduce yourself, shake the boy’s hand or somethin’.” Arthur really did have no filter, huh? The first person to approach you was a man wearing a giant black hat and an equally frightening mustache. He took your hand in an eager handshake, which surprised you to say the least.
“Reverend Swanson, Orville Swanson.” Ah, a holy man, a bit ironic for the situation, isn’t it? You coughed and got your voice back into place.
“Good to meet ya, Reverend.” You pushed past him and put yourself in the center of 3 men who were sitting near each other. The youngest one stood up first. He looked to be around your age but definitely younger, which made you kinda mad that everyone was acting like you were so young. That told you they were trying to prove a point.
“Lenny Summers, nice meeting ya.” You gave him a firm handshake. You felt surprisingly comfortable with him, since he was about your age, time to lighten the mood.
“Summers? Don’t’cha mean Winters?” You pointed at the window that was mostly boarded up but showed some of the snow outside through the cracks. He held in some kind of sound, only a little creak escaping. You considered that to be a win in Y/N’s a Comedy Master, Volume VI. The other two squinted there eyes, but you could tell they were hiding their amusement. Lenny sat down, the man with very interesting facial hair stood up. It didn’t look bad on him, you were just confused as to what you’d classify it as for a second. If anything, the hat was what threw you off the most. It suddenly dawned on you that a lot of these guys would look better without their hats. You paused that thought for a moment.
“Javier Escuella. Pleasure.” He smirked.
“It’s good to meet you, Javier.” His handshake was not as hesitant as Lenny’s was by comparison, but it was fairly quick. The last man in the semi-circle stood. And he was a giant. You had seen him earlier but for some reason his height and just overall existence didn’t hit you until that moment. He had the longest hair of anyone in the room. Maybe you’d be able to get out of wearing the wig over time. With some lying, obviously. You held your hand out to him first.
“James, it’s nice to meet you.” His handshake was unexpectedly gentle.
“Charles, Charles Smith.” His voice was also softer than you’d have predicted. You supposed he didn’t need to compensate for presence so there wasn’t a point in being loud. You could tell right off the bat that he was a quiet type, but you were used to that from Miguel, so it didn’t matter much. You turned away to face the 3 other men on the other side of the room. You already knew the blonde one.
“Micah, right?” You asked. You didn’t particularly want to get near him, but you conceded and held your hand out. He squeezed your hand just a little too hard, you did the same in return, and a little too much energy was put into it. He was still mad about your first encounter with him in the cabin. “Good to finally get a proper introduction.”
“Yeah, right.” You made the mental note that he was for sure an asshole and to watch out for him. A different man grabbed your attention, he didn’t seem pleased.
“My name is Simon Pearson, I’m the cook around here, and with you and that new woman hanging about, you better be helping enough to get your share.” You remember Arthur mentioning him. You shook his hand with both of yours to signify peacemaking.
“Of course, sir. I’ll do more than my share. I’m always willing to help.” You were aware that a lot of the things you were saying were repetitive, but that was usually how mass introductions went. A man with a very full beard was the last one at the moment. “Hello, I’m James West.”
“Bill.” He answered simply. Okay, not in the talking mood right now. Got it. You heard Arthur’s voice again.
“John’s out of commission at the moment, we won’t be worried about that dumbass.” You heard a familiar patter on the floor coming in your direction.
“James!” Jack rammed into your leg before you got a chance to react. He almost knocked you off balance.
“Woah, hey there, buddy.” You knelt down in front of him to get on his level. “What have you been up to? On patrol?” He seemed to be the only kid here, that’s gotta be stressful on him.
“Yeah! Been waiting outside Papa’s room since you’re awake now.” He informed.
“Wow, strong and vigilant? You’re a real power house there, little man.” You balled your hands into fists and lightly bopped him on the chest, one with each hand. “Pow, pow!” You exaggerated onomatopoeically. You could tell this was more interaction than he was used to. You were more than happy to brighten his mood.
“Uncle Dutch says you’re a good fighter.”
“Uncle Dutch would be right, gotta hit ’em with that one-two!” You hit him two more times, a wide smile on his face. He mimicked the way you blocked your face with your hands. His small fist gingerly punched your forearm. “Come on! You can do better than that, buddy!” You stood up, bouncing and shifting your weight between your feet. He tried to do the same, but it came out more as an awkward skip-in-place. “See? You’re a natural, little dude! A little practice and you could pin all of us.” He hit your knee a couple times, making little ‘psh’ sounds when he did.
“Will you teach me?” He was elated, you weren’t sure how long you’d be with them, but it seemed like you’d be up here for a while. Might as well, it also might win you bonus points with the others. But in all honesty, you weren’t thinking about that much.
“Sure thing, buddy.” He was really happy for that answer. “But…” He paused. You swooped down and picked him up, resting him on your shoulder in a fireman’s carry. “Lesson number one, never let your opponent take you off guard, or something unexpected might happen.” You were suddenly very aware that you weren’t alone in the room. You got so distracted by Jack that you forgot that you were in a room full of people. Jack squirmed around, laughing with the kind of energy you’d expect from a kid without child interaction and stuck on a recluse mountain with a bunch of sad-sack adults.
“Uncle Arthur! Javier!” He took a breath between fits of giggles. “You’re upside down!”
“Alright, little dude.” You made sure to be gentle as you set him back down to his feet. “I’ll teach some more later, okay?” You looked over, everyone was staring at you with varying looks about them Confusions, amusement, conjecture. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, how could any of you say no to this face?” You ruffled Jack’s hair. “That’s an objectively sweet face that you can’t say no to.”
“I don’t know ‘bout sweet, but he’s rambunctious that’s for sure.” Arthur commented with the knowing nods of several men as their response. You crossed your arms as Jack ran off to do something else.
“How long have you all been stuck up here?”
“A few days,” Charles started, “A few bad days at that.”
“We’re running low on supplies, food most importantly.” Pearson added. “I haven’t been able to do my job properly since we got up here, ever since Blackwater.” Blackwater? You wanted to ask, but the look on everyone’s faces told you you’d be overstepping your bounds. You decided to go a different direction.
“I know we’re in the middle of winter, but there’s gotta be animals, yeah?”
“Everyone I’ve sent out as come up empty-handed.”
“No, James is right. There’s game on this mountain, we just aren’t finding it.” Charles gestured to his wrapped hand. “And this certainly isn’t making me feel better about it. I’m going hunting.” He stood and walked over to a corner where some things were sitting.
“Yer hand’s burnt, you won’t be able to shoot.” Arthur’s accent slurred. Charles was about to say something, but you cut him off.
“Yeah, and? His hands don’t need to work for tracking. Just send someone else up there with him who can kill.”
“That’s a great idea! You and Arthur can go with him!” Pearson sassed, “That man’s been irritable with nothing to do.” Arthur grumbled in response.
“I’d be more than happy to help,” You really wanted to get back in your element. All this social work was more Austin and Gina’s speed. “but I’m not sure how helpful I’ll be.”
“You ever been hunting?” Charles went and handed a bow to Arthur.
“Something like that.”
“That’s better than nothing in my opinion. Come on, you can borrow one of the others’ horses.” Someone walked in.
“You can take mine. Silver Dollar should be pretty tame for you.” It was Hosea.
“Meet us there my ass, old man.” The blue-clad cowboy mocked.
“Apologies, got a bit held up with preparations. Charles, Arthur, bring back something good and make sure the kid gets the hang of things.” Hhhhhh, Hosea you’re really nice, but please don’t call me kid. Now wasn’t the time for corrections, you could do that later. They agreed and motioned for you to follow them outside.
The window was starting to slow down, which was more than welcome in your opinion. The snow crunched lightly, the way it does when multiple people have already walked on it. You missed California’s ridiculous heat. Despite the air being cold though, it was much easier to breathe than that smog. Your eyes burned from the sun reflecting off the plush snow. This is fucking blinding, how can any of you see ever? The three of you approached what was, basically to you, a herd of horses. They mounted their horses on silence, you approached a grey one.
“I’m going to assume this is Silver Dollar?” Arthur nodded to confirm your suspicions. You pulled yourself up and adjusted. Alright, just a group of guys going huntin’, just a couple of dudes, some good’ol’boys…how do I make this thing go? You looked up to try and learn through observation. Okay, I’ll just…give him a little- you lightly tapped your heel against the side of the horse, he came to a trot, following behind Charles. Don’t show any fear, they can sense it. Just be chill and respect the animal, and he’ll do the same for you. You at least would hope that for the time being.
Charles and Arthur picked up the pace, so you followed suit, not nearly as fast, but you were at least keeping up. There was a gaping silence that didn’t bother you. It finally gave you a chance to take in your surroundings. To say that the scenery was breathtaking would be an understatement. You weren’t sure if you had seen anything more beautiful in your entire life. Why had you never gone this far out? It seemed like a good a place as any to hide away, other than the blizzards. Charles broke that silence all too soon.
“What did you mean earlier? About hunting.” He clarified. You recalled your answer from earlier.
“Yeah, I was wonderin’ ‘bout that.” Arthur added. You tried to think of a way to phrase this without giving too much away.
“It wasn’t so much hunting as it was scavenging at that point. Can’t hunt something that’s already dead. Tracks and all.”
“Scavengin’?”
“Times were…desperate.” You decided to leave it at that for the time being.
“Have you ever tracked a deer?” Charles asked.
“Not a deer, but if you point some out to me, I should be able to find it pretty easily.”
“Good, we’ll need 2. You and Arthur get one each.” It wasn’t long before you passed through a stream and then came upon a clearing where Charles told you two to slow down. You followed in his example when he dismounted. “We’ll need to continue on foot from here.” He pointed at a trail of imprints in the ground. “Think you can find that?”
“Yeah, no problem.” You followed along it, just walking for a few steps to make an assessment. “She definitely isn’t far. The snow is deep, and the tracks are undisturbed.” You had never been out looking for food in the snow, but it seemed easier than dry ass California. You stopped to look ahead, listened closely. You could hear another part of the stream you passed earlier. Animals get thirsty too. “Alright, get down low, don’t wanna make too much noise.” Arthur seemed reluctant, but Charles was pleased with your competence. It was odd to slink around in broad daylight, but there was no helping it. You saw one in the distance.
“Arthur, ready yourself.” Charles took the lead now, inching the group a few feet closer. It was a buck. But there did seem to be a few others scattered about. If y’all were quick, this should only take a few more minutes.
“This is probably a good time to remind you both that I’ve never used a bow for hunting or anything like that, so maybe Arthur should handle this one.” You whispered.
“Don’t worry, they’ll scatter once Arthur shoots. We’ll have to track them a bit further. Shouldn’t take long, though.” You were crouched down in between the two of them, Arthur was lining up his shot. “Aim for the neck.” It was only a moment later that you a quick, air splitting sound. The buck fell to the ground. The rest of the deer, having heard him collapse, scattered themselves about just as Charles said they would. “Okay, go ahead and haul that one. James and I will keep going to save us a few minutes.”
“You got it.” He sighed, standing upright and walking over to the now dead animal after handing you the bow with a few arrows in its quiver. Now separated, you and Charles continued to skulk about. Most of them ran upstream, so that was your best guess on where to go. Luckily, Charles was still leading, and you were satisfied to see he took the same direction you were taking. A doe was in the distance, you could already see her heavy breathing from running when Charles had you stop.
“Okay, draw your bow.” You slid the arrow weakly into place. “Don’t over extend the string, but don’t be too free with it either.” You tried to do what he said, Your dominant hand held the arrow in place, the other gripped the wooden curve. You drew back. “A little more.”
“Like this?” You corrected yourself.
“Yes, but don’t fire yet.” His hand reached forward, grasping at the base of the bow just under where yours was located. You let him guide your aim to the side. He stopped moving but kept his position.
“Now?”
“Take a deep breath.” Inhale. “Release when you breathe out.” Exhale.
You let loose. The arrow flew through and made the doe squeal and fall to her side. The rest of the group fled. Leaving the body behind. You mentally high-fived yourself. Hell yeah!
“You did a good job. Come on, it’s time to collect.” Both of you stood, roaming towards the carcass.
“Thank you for your patience.” You replied with a smirk. You’d like to say the sight of something dead was what made you feel sick, but it was the blood. You chose to believe it was the way the color popped against the pure snow. The way it looked like cherry cough syrup or Kool-Aid left a terribly familiar taste at the back of your throat. But you decided not to show hesitation. Weakness will show more of you than any words people can claw from you. The words rang in your head. You pulled the arrow out of its windpipe.
“I’ll carry it back to horses.”
“But your hand-“
“I don’t need one hand to use the other’s arm.” His tone was more relaxed than it had been before, less formal. He hefted the body and carried it over his shoulder. “Come, Arthur’s bringing over the horses.” And he was. Arthur was a little over five yards away. You were surprised by how little time you all spent doing this. With both deer slumped on the back of Charles and Arthur’s horses, you started the ride back to camp. I’m kinda getting the hang of this. It’s kinda like driving a living motorcycle, but it can go slow without cruising.
It seems you spoke too soon, as a sudden howl in the distance caused Silver Dollar to buck you off. Your back hit the ground, Arthur hopped down. He held the reins of his horse to make sure they wouldn’t run off. You hurried to your feet.
“Arthur-“
“I know, I’ll handle it.”
“I’ll lead the horses a little a ways while you deal with them.” Charles took Arthur’s reins and then turned to look at you. “James, you-“ The barking was getting louder, grey spikes of fur were sprinting towards your group. You knew there was no way you could get back on and start moving in time.
“Go on ahead, I’ll be fine!” Besides, this was your field of expertise in one way. Hunting wasn’t your strong-suit, but defense sure as hell was. You darted off to the side, swinging your jacket off, raising the shoulders as far as your arms could reach while running. You let out a loud scream as one approached you, not out of fear, but to make it fear you. It still charged toward you with less ferocity. You managed to kick it in the side and ran, side-stepping your way to Arthur. A shot rang out, one of the three wolves fell over, dead. The other flanked and clamped its maw on Arthur’s arm. His gun fell to the ground. You rolled to grab it.
You pulled the hammer back and fired at the beast the second Arthur was able to force himself free. Pull back, turn. You used your opposite hand to grab your wrist and steady your arm. One last shot pounded just as the wolf you had kicked was about to pounce. Arthur clutched onto his right arm, bloody holes blotting through. You picked up your jacket and shook the snow off before sliding it back on.
“You’re a good shot, boy. I know who’s getting a gun as soon as we get off this damn mountain.” He laughed, ignoring the pain that should be in his arm.
“I make it a habit of having one, so yeah.” You flipped the revolver in your hand, handle facing Arthur. He took it and tipped his hat to you.
“Thank’ya, Mr. West.”
“It’s no trouble. You probably could’ve handled them, you aren’t the damsel type.” Charles trotted back over with Silver Dollar and whatever horse Arthur was riding trailing behind him.
“You two handled that quickly.”
“You mean James handled that quickly. All I went and did was get my arm bit.”
“One outta three ain’t bad.” You retorted.
“Y’know I knew someone who died from getting bit.”
“You’re not gonna die from a little wolf bite, Arthur.” Charles sighed.
“But you don’t know that!” Arthur was surprisingly funny for someone who looks so sad. Then again, it shouldn’t be that shocking to you. Charles snorted but did not give further response. You and Arthur got back on the saddles and began the journey to their camp.
“You’ll be fine as long as that thing didn’t have rabies. Just keep it clean and dry for the time being.”
“They call me Rabid Morgan.” Arthur stared into the distance.
“They say you can see his red eyes from a mile away.” Charles joined.
“Rabid Man Morgan, the shredder of limbs, no matter whomst they belong.” You let a chuckle slip.
“Dutch and Hosea are gonna think you’re dying if they hear all this talk.” His long hair shook in motion with his head.
“All the more reason to keep talkin’ if ya ask me.”
“Well, I’m calling you that from now on. I’m never going to explain what it means.” You warned.
“Perfect.” You had barely noticed how close to the camp you’d gotten. Good conversation makes for easy travel, you supposed. Pearson was the first to greet you at his station.
“Sounds like a bunch of gossiping milkmaids are invading the camp.”
“Never heard of laughter, Mr. Pearson?” You teased. You were aware you were acting a bit too comfortable, but this would give you a good idea of where to draw the line.
“Not that I recall. You bring anything useful for me?” You slid off the side and took initiative of hoisting the doe onto your shoulders. It was heavier than you expected, but you were able to get it into the open area Pearson directed you towards. Albeit, you didn’t do it as gracefully as Charles had or how Arthur was doing it now, but you did it, nonetheless.
“Ever skinned a de-“ Charles was interrupted,
“WEST YOU SACK OF SHIT!” by the obnoxious wailing of a blonde idiot. Micah was stomping his way through the snow, eyes burning into you. You squinted in distrust of the situation. By the time he was two feet from you, you’d expected him to slow down.
“What do you want Mi-“ But he didn’t. He shoved you back, making you hit a cleared part of Pearson’s desk. He pulled you forward by the collar of your jacket and the center of your shirt.
“I don’t know who the hell you think you are gettin’ special privileges around here, but ya best watch yerself and how you carry. I got my eye on you.” He was trying to assert his fragile dominance over you.
“I don’t know what you’re on about, dickhead. But if you don’t get your filthy paws off of me in the next two seconds, I’m gonna make sure we have matching bruises.” You wrinkled your nose.
“Micah, put the poor boy down right now!” You heard Dutch’s voice coming closer but didn’t break eye contact with Micah. He threw you further onto the table before turning away from you.
“You seriously trust this runt, Dutch? Look at him. Maggot’s got lies smeared all over his face.”
“And you’ve got brown smeared all over your nose, back up.�� You practically vaulted off the table, using your forearm and pressure to Micah’s chest to force him back.
“The god damn kid get’s his own space but not any of the others who been here longer? Here I am having to-“
“Don’t call me kid, ever again. Unless you want a broken neck.” Nothing got to you more than that, especially when someone was using it the way he was. Your stare was enough to pierce skin. Arthur grabbed Micah’s shoulder.
“And I’d thank you kindly to not even try and finish that sentence. We already heard you whine earlier. The way I see it, yer at least two against one right now, and that ain’t even including everyone here that would beat you the first chance they got. I don’t care how tough you think you are, those aren’t good odds. So, I suggest you shut that trap of a mouth you have.” His voice was low, there seemed to be some history behind that response, but you couldn’t think about that too much right now. Micah shook away his touch, pushing past Dutch and Charles, he mumbled something to himself as he stormed off. You could feel the pressure of your jaw clenching and your nails digging into your palm.
You paced about, narrowly avoiding the deer corpses around you. Remember to breathe, Y/N. You can’t pass out again. Control yourself. You’re alright. No point in getting mad over the stupid, you’ll scream all day. You wanted to destroy something. You couldn’t stand people like him, it ripped at your gut like a beast starving for your insides. You took a few deep breaths before pacifying yourself enough to address the men around you.
“Forgive me, gentlemen. That situation was a bit too tense for me to bear.” You tried to resist the urge to pull at your hair, considering it wasn’t your hair.
“You reacted better than most people would, nothing to apologize for.” Arthur was steadfast in watching Micah leave. Dutch stepped forward and held you still with both hands just under the joint of your shoulder. He had to bend down a bit to get at eye level with you.
“He can be rough around the edges, but you’ll get used to him. I can see that fire in your eyes, boy. There ain’t nothing wrong with it, but I’d like you to hold that fire close for a few hours more.” He sounded like Austin, which was simultaneously comforting and nerve-wracking. He traded glances with the two men you had rode back with but staying in the same position. “While you boys were gone, I had some of the others ride out to scour the area, and we’ve struck gold.” He stood up straight, still holding onto you. “The O’Driscolls have a camp a little a ways from here. Mrs. Adler informed me of some of the talk that was happening in her house, and apparently there was word of a train.”
“A train?” You questioned.
“That’s right, young man. We need money.” Doesn’t everybody? “I only send my best men for these jobs, but I wanna see how good you really are, Mr. West.”
“Oh, he’s good. Even Arthur was impressed.” Charles elbowed Arthur’s arm.
“That true, son?”
“I saw him kill two wolves today. Only used a bullet for each. Hit ‘em both right here-“ He tapped the middle of his forehead with index finger. “-so, yeah, I’d wager he’s pretty good.” A grin stretched across Dutch’s face.
“Fantastic, let’s hope your as good at shootin’ O’Driscolls as you are at shootin’ wild animals.” He gave you an affirming pat on the bicep. “Ah hell, who am I kiddin’? They’re the same thing.” He turned to walk out, calling back to all of you before being out of earshot. “Ill see you gentlemen in the morning, we leave at 10 o’clock!” The excitement was clear in his speech.
This place was weird. These people were fucking weird. The more you stayed here, the more convincing these people seemed. What the hell was their deal? They acted like normal people, not like cultists or anything. How did they think it was 1899? It would make sense if they’d been on the mountain for years, but they just got here not too long ago. It gave you a headache just thinking about it. You needed to ask more questions without seeming eager to leave.
“Sorry about Micah, he’s like that with almost everyone.” Charles’s voice broke your thoughts.
“I’m fine. He’s lucky Dutch stepped in. I don’t let anyone push me around.” Anymore.
“You’re on edge. There’s not much to do up here but work. You can help Arthur skin the pelts. Might help distract you.” He suggested, pulling what looked like a hunting knife from his belt. You took it reluctantly, knowing you’d need something to do to keep yourself from losing it. You got down on one knee, waiting to follow Arthur’s lead. Time to talk.
“How far are we from Blackwater?” You pretended to know what that place was.
“Not far enough if you ask me.” Pearson complained. “Then again, we left a lot down there.”
“Like food?” Arthur muttered.
“A comedian as always, Mr. Morgan.” Pearson was not amused.
“What happened to you guys over there?” They were hushed by that question for a second.
“I don’t think any of us are entirely sure.” Charles contemplated for a moment. “But now we’re wanted. Every last one of us. We won’t be able to go back for some time.” His eyes met yours, halting the slide of the blade. “I hope that doesn’t interfere with you staying with us for the time being.” You were sad that you weren’t bothered by this, not in the slightest. People being hunted didn’t even phase you.
“I’d be a hypocrite if I let it.” You sighed, you let your guard slip. “I’ve been on the run since I was 19. This doesn’t change anything.” You immediately caught your mistake. Shit. No, it’s fine. They still don’t know who I am. I’m fine. But something suddenly struck you. How could these people be on the run from the law if they thought it was the 19th century?
“What got you?” Arthur asked. It floored you mentally, no one had ever asked you that question. Mostly because you never told anyone who didn’t already know. It wasn’t something you exactly go around flaunting. Him and Charles could see the alarm in your expression.
“Just…” How do you say it? “I made some bad choices.” You don’t. You hurried to finish the carving, wanting to get out of the conversation as fast as possible. You could tell they wanted to press but, lucky for you, decided against it. You rolled the fur up and hooked the cadaver onto a bare wall next to Arthur’s. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You kept your head down as you walked away.
This wasn’t the time to be thinking about that. You had to think of a way to get back to the others. Where would you go once you got off the mountain? What would even happen when the others got off? There was no way they could avoid cities. You could hardly believe their entire reality hadn’t broken already. Blackwater had to be a town or something. And they were running from the law. The more you heard and thought, the more it didn’t add up. You got lost in that pensive side of yourself.
Something hit your chest, well, someone. You saw the book fall before the girl. It was the brunette you met earlier, you thought Mary-Beth was her name. She was quiet when she fell initially, but as she leaned forward on her elbows, she let out a grunt of pain. You snapped out of your trance and quickly bent closer to her, holding out your hand.
“I’m so sorry, miss.” She took your hand, the back of hers facing up to the sky. You pulled her up halfway and used your other hand to press the space between her shoulder blades. You did this to avoid pulling her too hard as helped her back to her feet. Once she was balanced, you let go and snatched her book from the snow. Fortunately, it fell cover side down. “I should have been looking where I was going. Are you alright?”
“I’m alright, thank you, Mr. West.” She took the book as you presented it to her. “I should’ve been paying attention too.” Her eyes squinted, inspecting you closely, like she was trying to figure something out.
“Well, I’m still sorry.” Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. You took a step back and turned away.
“Wait!” She grabbed your wrist. “Hosea wanted us to let you know Miss Grimshaw set up a space for you.” You looked back at her.
“A space?”
“Yes! He told us about how common it is for people in your condition to episodes, especially in their sleep. So, he had us make something for privacy.” Seems a few of your questions were answered.
“Is that what Micah was upset about earlier?”
“Yes, I’m sorry about him. He doesn’t know when to keep himself in check most of the time.” She pulled you toward the cabin you had been placed in. When you walked in, Bill and Javier were the only ones in the main room. You attention immediately went to what looked like a make shift tent at the right end of the room. It looked like what would happen if you split a tent in half and let it rest against a wall. Or like something a few kids would make, not in terms of quality but rather conceptually. It was very well done by blanket fort standards.
“Wow, Mary-Beth, that looks really nice.” You did appreciate the effort genuinely. You reminded yourself to thank Hosea for saving you some trouble. “How many of you worked on this?”
“It was mostly Tilly, Karen, and I. I wasn’t sure if you were much or a writer, but I left an extra pencil and a few sheets of paper to keep yourself entertained.”
“Thank you so much, this is very nice of all of you to do for me.” You smiled at her. “Be sure to let me know if there’s anything you need, I’d feel bad if I didn’t repay you all in some way.” Your request tickled her fancy.
“You sound kinda like Arthur.”
“That a good thing?”
“Yes, I’d reckon so.” Her expression was tender and thoughtful. “I’ll let the girls know you appreciate our hard work. Hosea said you should rest to not create any more discomfort.” She pivoted back towards the door. “Oh! And be sure to eat something in the morning. No telling when the last time you ate was…Actually, I’ll see if I can drop any off to you when it’s ready.”
“You don’t need to do that, you all have done-“
“Nonsense! I’m surprised you were well enough to go out in the condition Dutch said you were in. ‘Sides, y’all are going out again tomorrow, right?”
“Well, yes, but-“
“But nothing! You go and rest right now, young man!” You couldn’t tell if she was older than you, but she sure didn’t look it. Regardless, you conceded.
“Yes, ma’am.” She left you to your own devices, Javier and Bill were focusing on their own activities. You took it upon yourself to crawl into the makeshift tent. It was wide enough for the cot you woke up on. The blanket making the fake wall and roof was high enough for you to sit on the cot but not much else. It was a good thing that’s all you’d need.
You sat down in the middle, letting the blanket curtain to hide you from everyone else. Taking off your coat and lifting up your shirt, you felt joy well up in your chest, joy mixed with a stiff pain. Even with it barely being able to stay up, it was still painful to keep the fabric wrapped around you. You could feel your skin rejoice as you removed it. Once the manila colored cloth was all unbound and sitting on your lap, you let your shirt fall back down. You decided to hide it under the cot for the time being. You were surprised to find a canteen and the items Mary-Beth had mentioned earlier. Thankfully, the contents of the canteen was water, which you happily swigged. You laid back on the cot. This was the first time you’d gotten conscious alone time.
Okay, time to figure this out. I was shot 6 times. I should be dead. But somehow, I ended up on a mountain in winter. I was trapped in a barn and rescued by these guys who think it’s 1899. What’s weird is that Mrs. Adler didn’t object to that, even though she was introduced to everyone the same night I was. None of this is adding up…
You massaged your temples.
If I’m gonna start thinking crazy, I might as well go all out right now. I’m either dead or I traveled back in time. And either way, I can’t do anything about it. Death is inescapable and time isn’t tangible, it isn’t even real. I’ll have to take this one goal at a time… Damnit!
You wanted to cry. Not because you felt sorry for yourself, but for them. Miguel, Eli, what would they do without you? You knew Austin would be fine, and Gina would have the others for support. But Eli and Miguel relied on you to a certain extent. You were their glue. That’s one of the reasons you never left, even though you should have. You should have left a long time ago. There was no way to tell them you were okay, or at least as okay as you could be.
No! There’s no way that’s the answer. I can’t believe it…not yet. You didn’t allow yourself the indulgence of shedding tears. You had to be strong until you could get back to them. You just had to figure out what was happening. But there was no way you’d be learning anything new from these people. You couldn’t get out of this place without their help. You were a lot of things, but you weren’t a defeatist. Going out without a plan in this kind of temperature was a death sentence if you weren’t already dead. You didn’t want to be stupid and take that kind of risk.
If I play along, I might have a chance.
And that’s all I need.
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casinogames209-blog · 6 years ago
Text
Gambler’s Guide on How to Engage in On line Pachinko with Rules and Tips
I'm bored
I'm in a train station that is brand new
I've finished work
I am flush
I am broke
I Must wait for somebody in the station anyway
There's an event
(Note: Applies evenly to an alcoholic's excuses to drink)
Blinking lights. Overwhelming sound. Suffocating smoke. Zombified patrons. For gaijin that is fresh-off-the-boat, the pachinko parlor is just one of the very first signs that Japan is, indeed, the place on earth. However pachinko is a drug, and like any medication it may be intimidating to try. You have to be shown how, and you will need to be convinced you should. Take our hand as you are led by us to the greatest of highs that are Japanese -- and the lowest of lows.
PLAYING
First, you must understand the machine. Often described as"pinball turned perpendicular," pachinko machines take little silver balls in a pace speed. The balls led by a collection of pins and cascade down, bouncing off. Eventually, they fall toward centre, where there is a pit shielded on both sides by two little doors. 1 ball can slide through, when the doors have been closed; three or even more can, when they're open. Balls fall to the base of machine. Watching this parade is, for the most part, what has everyone entranced. It's the only thing besides picking which machine to perform that provides any control of this encounter.
Play couldn't be simpler--or deceptively difficult. Hold money to the upper left of machine and press on the button close to the bin sticking out like a huge bottom lip near the bottom; it'll fill up with your own balls. Grab the wheel at the right with twist and your right hand.
Here is the tip: the sum you twist controls the rate at which the balls shoot out the top. As it bounces down through the pins the course of the ball changes. Your job is to find a sweet spot at which the chunks jump consistently into that hole in the base. A objective is 20 for each ¥1,000 you pay. If you're consistently getting less than ten, you're going to want to stand up and require a little frustration-dampening walk, prompting you punch the machine and get tossed out. Seasoned addicts will jam a ¥5 coin in the mechanics behind the wheel to suspend it when they have found the ideal position. From staff. Ignore them and jam the coin in once they've turned off back.
For each ball which goes in the pit, you are rewarded in two ways: you get about ten free balls, and you get one spin on a virtual slot machine that appears in the machine's video display. Unlike Western-style slot machines, this one has numbers (which may be composed in kanji) instead of symbols (like cherries). Much like slot machines that are Western a few of a kind wins.
THE REACH
Why is pachinko the most addictive game known to man is what is called a REACH. In simple terms, a REACH happens whenever your spin gets two of the same numbers and you are made to await the outcome of the third. The first thing that happens is the display changes into REACH mode. While this occurs, there is an epic battle performed between the amount you want to complete a winning set along with some other number. A animation guy represents the amount you desire. Any other number is the bad guy. Samurai warriors struggle. A shark is fought by A guy on a ship. Yoda dukes it out with Darth Vader. And so on.
Pachinko machines go into REACH style so or every twist. Your emotions begin to fly, If they do. The REACH on almost any machine is repetitive, and more often than not the fantastic guy loses along with a shamed cartoony grin crosses his face.
It's when something from the ordinary happens that your heart really begins to pound. Maybe the blue bus that usually crosses the display suddenly turns red. ("Ohhh something good is about to happen!") The lights at the machine begin to spin. ("Here we go!") The girl that has been around the screen for an hour is all of a sudden adorned in gold ("I am going to get paid!") The screen jumps from animation to live activity and whispers"REACH." ("I believe I'm gonna burst!") There are a whole series of visual and audio cues and increasingly complex events happening on display which tell you this REACH is the one where the good guy wins. Whenever your machine acts like it is going to win, it means that it is. *
WINNING
The animation battle ends and you have three of the exact same number. A towering power ballad begins to play and you feel like a king. A flap below the hole opens up, sucking every ball and converting every one of them into ten new ones. As you collect balls, then you press a button that dumps them into the plastic tray on the ledge in front of you. The sound of these balls hitting the plastic that you clean of this pity you've felt in feverishly driving all that cash into your machine.
This"win period" lasts two or three glorious minutes, at the end of which you'll have a full tray of chunks in front of you worth roughly ¥5,000. Following the triumph, you enter into a period called"lucky moment." The doorways protecting the gap at the bottom of the machine open up and you also get 100"free" spins. If your winning numbers were red, it means you are guaranteed to triumph again during"lucky time." Blue means you could.
Pachinko machines win in bunches. The feeling is euphoric, and nearby players are oblivious of the songs and flashing lights coming from your machine. Once you've felt the ecstasy of being in win style or blessed style and have gathered tray after tray of amazing tiny silver wonder chunks, you'll be a slave to the machine for the rest of your days.
Now, it is important to remember to adhere to the very first principle of pachinko etiquette...
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PACHINKO ETIQUETTE
Your winning face ought to be the same as your losing face. You're enjoying in close proximity to others, and thus don't drag them on your emotional roller coaster--they're among their own. Obasan are the individuals so it is only with them that you are able to share glance or a smile of anxiety.
Rule 2: Never get a complete tray under any conditions.
There is a call button near the top of the machine which alerts the staff to help you. They will give you an empty menu and pick up your winnings and place them on the ground behind you.
Rule 3: For God's sake, never kick over a tray.
Pachinko parlors are places that are tight, so tread carefully. Should one of your gaijin feet send 1,000 balls cascading and betray you , just run off and do not look back. Your apologies are currently going to fall on deaf ears that are angry.
COLLECTING YOUR WINNINGS
Your smoking-hot machine has turned cold with couple of REACHes and none of the good ones that were long. Now is not the time. It is time to go home, or back to work, or to confront your mad girl/boyfriend whom you're supposed to meet three hours past. The trays behind you're currently overflowing with chunks every. It is time.
The problem is that pachinko for money is illegal. "Sounds legal to me," you say? Well, let's take a look at the hoops you are going to jump in order to get your money.
First, call over the team and indicate that you're finished by making an X that is exaggerated with your arms in front of you. The staff will dump your trays each into a washing machine, which ends up a receipt. Take the receipt. A staff member will provide you some sort of token a color-coded pair of cards. These cards may be transformed into yen--but not inside the parlor. Nope, you have to take them somewhere called a tuck shop.
Where is this transplant store? Because they won't inform you well, don't ask the staff. The ideal thing would be to wait for a winner that is fellow and follow them. Once you're inside the tuck shop, you will realize no staff, only when you get to the front of the line a tiny drawer that will take out. Reduce your cards . The drawer will closed, and the cards will be replaced by your loot, when it reopens. Walk away. Pachinko experience complete. Addict hooked.
1. Decide on a machine.
Learn to read. There are just two numbers. The smaller is https://betvoyager.com how many wins today, it has had. The bigger spins it has had. A machine that is fantastic has wins along with a lot of spins. Machines pay out from waves. It is possible to press a data and it'll give you the stats for the days. If a machine acquired two days past and 10 times yesterday, it should be ready to win big today. Conversely, if a machine acquired 12 yesterday and 25 times , now it's only going to consume money.
2. Perform shindai.
Shindai, which means"fresh system," is probably the main word from the pachinko participant's vernacular. These machines are advertised on trains and in front of parlors. They've no stats, so without needing to be fed they pay out. You might need to reserve a place or wait in line to receive one. Do so. These machines are good for about two and remain very hot for about a week.
3. Perform at grand opening events.
To be able to do so, call in sick. The machines are shindai.
4. Cap spending.
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Unless it is the first couple of days of a shindai, do not spend more than ¥5,000-¥10,000 on almost any device. The first time you stumble house having lost a month's lease results.
5. Never, ever play in an empty parlor.
It's empty for a reason.
6. Do not feed machines your winnings.
The machine's job is to use your dependence against you. Give your head a shake, if you end up calling the staff to move a bucket from behind your chair to the ledge in front of you and run away.
THE BIG QUESTIONS
1. Are there traces out several pachinko parlors in the morning?
These folks are pachinko pros. They know which equipment they need because they can anticipate where there is going to be a ball explosion on any given Bet Voyager day and know the stats. The issue is that every one of those people in the line is thinking about among the 10 machines that are pregnant. The clever disappointed depart. The stats, will sit and feed.
2. Why the Sound?
Once you've taken a chair and fed on your very first ¥1,000, the sound disappears. You have honed in on the sounds of only your own machine, locating meaning in every squelch and then hunting for. It is just after you depart that you start to hear it all, an incoherent which lasts about an hour until you get started singing over and over the song that is winning even though it was your neighbor's machine doing the winning.
3. What are the employees crying about?
They are telling you that you could win on the following spin. You know that. That's why you are there.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/newssearch/?query=pachinko online,pachinko,online pachinko rules
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playersclub2005-blog · 6 years ago
Text
Gambler’s Tutorial regarding how to Engage in Online Pachinko with Principles and Tips
POPULAR PACHINKO ONLINE ADDICT EXCUSES TO PLAY:
I am bored
I am in a new train station
I have finished work
I am flush
I'm broke
I Must wait for somebody in the station
There's an event
(Note: Applies equally to an alcoholic's explanations to drink)
Blinking lights. Overwhelming noise. Suffocating smoke. Zombified patrons. To get fresh-off-the-boat gaijin, the pachinko parlor is one of the indicators that Japan is the strangest place in the world. However, more than anything else, pachinko is a drug, and like any medication it may be intimidating to test. You need to be shown how, and you will need to get convinced you need to. Take our hand as we direct you to the greatest of highs that are Japanese -- and the lowest of lows.
PLAYING
First, you must understand that the machine. Often called"pinball turned perpendicular," pachinko machines shoot small silver balls at a wicked pace. The balls cascade down, bouncing off and led by means of a collection of pins. Where there's a pit shielded on both sides by two doors they fall toward bottom center. When the doors have been closed, 1 ball can slide through; when they are open, three or more can. Most balls fall meaninglessly to machine's base. Seeing this parade is what's everybody entranced. It is the one thing besides picking which machine to perform which provides any control of this experience.
Tumblr media
Play couldn't be simpler--or more difficult. Hold money to the upper left of machine and press the button close to the bin sticking out like a big bottom lip close to the bottom; it'll fill up with your own balls. Grab the wheel in the bottom right with your right hand and twist.
Here's the trick: the sum controls spin the rate at. The path of the ball changes as it bounces down through the hooks. Your job is to find a spot where the chunks jump into that little hole in the base. A good goal is. If you are always getting less than ten, you're going to want to stand up and require a little frustration-dampening walk, prompting you punch the device and get tossed out. Experienced addicts will jam a ¥5 coin in the mechanism behind the wheel to suspend it once they have discovered the perfect position. This may earn you a chastising"Dame!" From employees. Ignore them and jam the coin in when they've turned away back.
For each ball which goes in the hole, you're rewarded in two ways: you get about ten free balls, and you also get one spin on a virtual slot machine which looks in the machine's movie screen. Unlike Western-style slot machines, this one has amounts (which may be composed in kanji) rather than symbols (such as cherries). Exactly such as slot machines that are Western a few of a kind wins.
THE REACH
Why is pachinko the most addictive game known to man is what is called a REACH. In simple terms, a REACH occurs whenever your spin gets just two of the very same amounts and you are made to wait for the results of the thirdparty. The first thing that happens is the screen changes into REACH mode. When this occurs, there's an epic battle performed between the number you need to complete a winning group along with another number. Is represented by a cartoon man. Samurai warriors battle. A shark is fought by A man on a ship. Yoda dukes it out. And so on.
Pachinko machines go into REACH style so or every fourth twist. Your emotions start to fly, If they do. The REACH on any device is insistent, and more often than not the fantastic guy loses and a shamed cartoony grin crosses his face.
It is when something out of the ordinary happens that your heart actually begins to pound. Perhaps the blue bus that usually crosses the display suddenly turns red. ("Ohhh something good is going to happen!") Maybe the lights at the machine begin to spin. The girl that has been on the screen for an hour is all of a sudden adorned in gold ("I am going to get paid!") The screen jumps from animation to live action and whispers"REACH." ("I believe I am gonna burst!") There are a whole series of audio and visual cues and increasingly complicated events happening on screen which tell you this REACH is the one where the good guy wins. When your machine acts like it's going to triumph, it means that it is. *
WINNING
Tumblr media
The cartoon battle ends and you've got three of the exact same number. A towering power ballad begins to play and you also really feel like a king. A flap below the hole opens upsucking every ball and converting every one of them into ten new ones. As you collect balls, then you press a button which dumps them to the plastic tray on the ledge facing you. The noise of those balls hitting the plastic rinses you clean of this shame you've felt pachinko gambling at feverishly forcing all that cash into your machine.
This"win period" lasts just two or three glorious minutes, at the conclusion of that you'll have a full tray of chunks in front of you worth about ¥5,000. Following the triumph, you also enter into a time referred to as"blessed moment." The doors protecting the gap at the base of the machine open up and you also get 100"free" spins. If your winning numbers were red, it means you are guaranteed to triumph again during"lucky time." Blue means you could.
Pachinko machines triumph in bunches. The atmosphere is jogar pachinko online gratis euphoric, and nearby players are oblivious of the tunes and flashing lights coming from your own machine. As soon as you've felt the bliss of being in triumph mode or lucky style and have collected tray after tray of beautiful tiny silver wonder chunks, you will be a slave to the machine for the remainder of your days.
At this point, it is important to not forget to adhere to the first rule of pachinko etiquette...
PACHINKO ETIQUETTE
Measure 1: Show no emotion.
Your winning face ought to be the same as your losing face. You are enjoying in close proximity to other people, so don't drag them onto your emotional roller coaster--they are among their own. Obasan would be the people to thwart this tradition, so it's only with them that you can share a smile or glance of anxiety.
Rule 2: Never get a complete tray under any conditions.
There is a call button near the peak of the machine that alerts the team to help you. They then pick up your winnings and will hand you an empty menu and put them.
Rule 3: For God's sake kick a tray over.
Pachinko parlors are tight areas, so tread carefully. Should one of your gaijin feet betray you and ship 1,000 balls cascading, just run off and do not look back. Your apologies are currently going to fall on deaf ears.
COLLECTING YOUR WINNINGS
Your machine has turned noticeably chilly with not one of the good ones that were long and few REACHes. Now's not the time. It is time to face your angry girl/boyfriend whom you were supposed to meet, or back to perform, or to go home. The trays behind you are overflowing value about ¥ 15 with chunks each. It is time to cash out.
The challenge is that playing pachinko for money is illegal. Well, let us take a look at the hoops to be able to receive your money you are going to jump through.
First, call the team over and suggest by making an exaggerated X along with your arms before you that you're finished. The team will ditch each of your trays into a counting machine, which spits out a receipt indicating how many balls you have collected. Take the receipt to the main counter. You will be given some sort of token a color-coded set of cards by A team member. These cards may be converted into yen--but not inside the parlor. Nope, you need to take them called a tuck shop.
Where's this transplant store? Since they won't tell you, well, do not ask the employees. The best thing is to await a winner that is fellow and then follow them. You will realize no staff, only a small drawer which will shoot out once you reach the front of the line When you're within the tuck shop. Reduce your cards . The drawer will snap shut, and the cards will be replaced by your loot, once it reopens. Walk away. Pachinko expertise complete. Addict hooked.
1. Decide on a machine wisely.
Learn to read the stats which are on top of every device. Usually there are just two numbers. The smaller is the amount of wins now it's had. The larger spins it's had. A machine has a lot of spins and few wins. Machines pay out from waves. You can press on a data button and it will offer you the stats to the previous days. If a machine won twice two weeks ago and 10 times yesterday, then it should be ready to win big today. If a machine acquired 12 yesterday and 25 times , today it's just going to eat money.
2. Perform shindai.
Shindai, so"new machine," is possibly the main word in the pachinko player's vernacular. These machines are advertised on trains and in front of parlors. They have no stats, so without needing to be fed 15, they pay out. You might have to reserve a spot or wait patiently in line to receive one. Do so. These machines are great for about two and remain hot for about a week.
3. Perform at grand opening events.
In order to achieve that, call in sick. The machines are shindai.
4. Cap spending.
Unless it is the first couple of days of a shindai, do not spend over ¥5,000-¥10,000 on almost any device. The very first time you stumble home having lost a full month's rent results.
5. Never, ever play in an empty parlor.
It's empty for a reason.
6. Do not feed machines your winnings.
The job of the machine would be to use your dependence against you. If you end up calling the staff to maneuver a bucket from behind your chair to the ledge before you, then give your head a shake and run away.
THE BIG QUESTIONS
1. Why are there traces out several pachinko parlors in the morning?
These folks are pachinko pros. They know exactly which equipment they need because they know the stats and may expect where there is going to be a ball burst on any particular day. The issue is that every one of those people in the line is considering one of the exact same 10 pregnant machines. The disappointed leave. Everybody else, like you, feed and will sit the stats.
2. Why the noise?
As soon as you've taken a seat and fed in your very first ¥1,000, the noise disappears. You have honed in on the sounds of your machine, searching for and then locating meaning in every high-pitched and bing squelch. It's just after you leave that you start to hear everything, an incoherent ringing that lasts about an hour or so till you start singing the winning song over and over inside your head if it was your neighbor's device doing the winning.
3. What are the staff yelling about?
They are telling you that you can win on your next spin. You understand that. That's why you are there.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/pachinko online,pachinko,online pachinko rules
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playersclub2017-blog · 6 years ago
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Gambler’s Guideline on How to Perform Online Pachinko with Regulations and Recommendations
I'm bored
I am at a train station that is brand new
I have finished work
I am flush
I'm broke
I have to wait for somebody in the station anyway
There is an event happening
(Note: Applies equally to an alcoholic excuses to drink)
Blinking lights. Overwhelming sound. Suffocating smoke. Zombified patrons. To get fresh-off-the-boat gaijin, the pachinko parlor is just one of the very first indicators that Japan is the place in the world. However, more than anything else, pachinko is a drug, and like any medication it may be intimidating to try. You have to be shown how, and you need to be convinced you need to. Take our hands as you are led by us to the greatest of highs -- and the lowest of lows.
PLAYING
First, you must understand the machine. Often called"pinball turned vertical," pachinko machines take little silver balls at a wicked pace. The balls directed by a collection of pins and cascade down, bouncing off. Where there's a pit shielded on both sides by two small doors, Finally, they fall toward bottom center. When the doors have been closed, one ball can slide through; three or more can, when they're open. Balls fall meaninglessly to machine's base. Watching this parade is what has everybody entranced. It's the one thing besides picking which machine to play which gives any control of the encounter.
Play could not be simpler--or even difficult. Hold money to the top left of machine and then press on the button near the bin sticking out like a huge bottom lip near the bottom; it'll fill up with your balls. Grab the wheel in the bottom right with your right hand and twist.
Here is the tip: the sum you twist controls the speed at which the balls take out the top. Tiny alterations alter the ball's course as it bounces down through the hooks. Your work is to find a sweet spot at which the chunks jump to that hole at the bottom. There is A goal 20 for every ¥ 1,000 you spend. If you are always getting less than ten, you're going to want to stand up and require a modest frustration-dampening walk, prompting you punch the device and get tossed out. Seasoned addicts will jam a ¥5 coin at the mechanics behind the wheel to suspend it once they have found the ideal position. From employees. Ignore them and jam the coin in once they have turned off back.
For each ball that goes in the pit, you're rewarded in two ways: you get about ten free chunks, and you also get one spin on a virtual slot machine that looks in the machine's video display. Unlike Western-style slot machines, this one has numbers (which might be composed in kanji) rather than symbols (such as cherries). Exactly such as slot machines that are Western , nevertheless, a few of a kind wins. The similarities end there.
THE REACH
What makes pachinko the most addictive video game known to man is what is called a REACH. In simple terms, a REACH happens whenever your spin gets just two of the same numbers and you're made to await the results of the thirdparty. The very first thing happens is the screen changes into REACH mode. When this happens, there is an epic battle played out between the amount you need to complete a winning group and some other amount. A cartoon guy that was good represents the amount you desire. Samurai warriors struggle. A man on a boat and a shark fight. Yoda dukes it out with Darth Vader. And so on.
Pachinko machines go into mode every fourth twist or so. Your emotions begin to fly If they do. The REACH on almost any machine is repetitive, and more frequently than not the fantastic man loses and a shamed cartoony grin crosses his face.
It's when something out of the ordinary happens your heart really begins to pound. Maybe the blue bus that usually crosses the screen suddenly turns red. The lights at the machine start to spin. ("Here we go!") The woman who has been around the screen for the hour is all of a sudden adorned in golden ("I am about to get paid!") The display jumps from cartoon to live action and whispers"REACH." ("I believe I am gonna explode!") You will find a whole series of visual and audio cues and increasingly complicated events happening on display which tell you this REACH is the one where the good guy wins. When your system acts like it is about to triumph, it means that it's. *
WINNING
The cartoon battle ends and you have three of the exact same number. A towering power ballad starts to play and you also feel like a king. A flap under the hole opens upsucking every ball and converting every one of them into ten new ones. As you amass balls, then you press a button that dumps them to the plastic on the ledge facing you. The noise of these balls hitting the plastic rinses you clean of the pity you have felt at feverishly forcing all that cash in your machine.
This"win period" lasts two or three glorious minutes, at the end of that you will have a full tray of chunks facing you value roughly ¥5,000. Following the win, you enter into a period called"blessed moment." The doorways protecting the gap at the base of the machine open up and you get 100"free" spins. Blue means you might.
Pachinko machines triumph in bunches. The atmosphere is euphoric, and nearby players are envious of the songs and flashing lights coming from your own machine. As soon as you've felt the ecstasy of being in triumph mode or blessed style and have gathered tray after tray of amazing miniature silver wonder balls, you'll be a servant to the device for the rest of your days.
At this point, it's important to not forget to adhere to the first principle of pachinko etiquette...
PACHINKO ETIQUETTE
Rule 1: Show no emotion.
Your winning face should be the same as your losing face. You're playing in close proximity to other people, and thus don't drag them on your emotional roller coaster--they are among their own. Obasan would be the only individuals so it is only with them that BetVoyager Casino Pachinko you can share glance or a satisfied smile of anxiety.
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Rule two: Never get a full tray under any conditions.
A call button is near the top of the machine which alerts the staff. They then pick up your winnings and will give you an empty menu and Find more info place them.
Rule 3: For God's sake kick past a tray.
Pachinko parlors are places that are tight, so tread carefully. If one of your gaijin feet don't return and send 1,000 balls just run away and betray you. Your apologies are going to fall on ears.
COLLECTING YOUR WINNINGS
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Your machine has become noticeably chilly with REACHes and none of the good ones that were long. You've been seething from the silent burning love and envy of your neighbor, who has sunk ¥20,000 into his machine and come out a big winner. Now is not the time to become greedy. It's time to confront your whom you were supposed to meet three hours past, or back to work, or to go home. The trays behind you are overflowing with chunks each. It's time to cash out.
The problem is that pachinko for money is illegal. "Seems lawful to me," you say? Well, let us take a look at the hoops to be able to get your cash, you're going to jump through.
Call the staff over and indicate by making an exaggerated X with your arms before you that you are finished. The staff will ditch your trays each into a machine, which ends up a receipt indicating how many balls you've accumulated. Take the receipt. A different staff member will give you some sort of token, typically a color-coded set of cards. These cards can be transformed into sweet candy yen--although not inside the parlor. Nope, you have to take them someplace called a tuck shop.
Where is this transplant store? Well, do not ask the employees, because they won't inform you. The ideal thing to do is to wait for a winner and then follow them. Once you're within the tuck shop, you will see no employees, just when you reach the front of the line, a small Astroturf-lined drawer that will take out. Reduce your cards in. The drawer will shut, and once it reopens, the cards will be replaced with your loot. Walk away. Pachinko experience complete. Addict hooked.
HOW TO NEVER LOSE AT PACHINKO
1. Decide on a machine sensibly.
Learn to read the stats which are at the peak of every device. There are two numbers. The smaller wins now, it's had. The larger spins it's had. A machine includes wins and a lot of spins. Machines pay out in waves. It is possible to press a data and it'll offer you the stats for the preceding days. If a machine won two days past and 10 times yesterday, then it should be prepared to win big today. Conversely, if a machine acquired 25 times two weeks ago and 12 yesterday, today it's just going to eat money.
2. Play shindai.
Shindai, so"fresh machine," is probably the main word in the pachinko player's vernacular. These machines are advertised on trains and in front of parlors. They have no stats, so they pay out without having to be fed first. You might need to book a place or wait in line to get one. Do so. These machines stay hot for about a week and so are great.
3. Perform at grand opening events.
Call in sick in order to do so. All the machines are shindai.
4. Cap spending.
Unless it's the first couple of days of a shindai, don't spend over ¥5,000-¥10,000 on almost any machine. The first time you stumble home having lost a full month's rent results.
5. Never, ever play at an empty parlor.
It is empty for a reason.
6. Don't feed machines your winnings.
The job of the machine is to use your dependence. Give your head a shake, if you find yourself calling the team to move a bucket from behind your chair to the ledge before you and then run away.
THE BIG QUESTIONS
1. Are there traces outside several pachinko parlors in the morning?
These people are pachinko experts. They know exactly which equipment they want because they can anticipate where there will be a silver ball explosion on any particular day and know the stats. The problem is that every one of those people online is thinking about among the exact same 10 machines that are pregnant. The disappointed depart. Everybody else, like you, feed and will sit the stats.
2. Why the Sound?
Once you've chosen a chair and fed in your 1,000, the noise magically disappears. You've honed in on the sounds of only your machine, locating meaning in each bing and high-pitched squelch and then hunting for. It is only after you leave that you begin to listen to everything, an incoherent that lasts about an hour till you start singing over and over the tune in your head though it was your neighbor's device doing the winning.
3. What are the employees yelling about?
They're telling you that you can win on the following spin. You understand that. That is why you are there.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/newssearch/?query=pachinko online,pachinko,online pachinko rules
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kristallioness · 5 years ago
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2016 | 2017 | 2018
*quietly sneaks back in*... Happy New THIS Year, my dear followers! In Estonia, we have this saying that if you wish someone a 'happy new year' after Three Kings' Day (the 6th of January), you gotta have a bottle of alcohol with you and give them a drink. *lol*
Anyways, I would like to apologize for the sudden disappearance that happened prior to Christmas. I was just busy travelling back home for the holidays, unpacking and putting away my stuff, watching some great, traditional movies or shows on TV, and most importantly, working on those 2 latest masterpieces that I posted (which barely got 30 notes each.. *sigh*).
But as you can (and probably will) see, the year of the yellow earth pig (i.e. my dad's year) was a rollercoaster of emotions and accomplishments, or lacking thereof.
My creative side seems to have suffered the most due to lack of leisure time. I only managed to finish 3 full digital drawings and left behind several sketches or unfinished WIPs (2 of which are revealed here under the months of June and November for the first time, I intend to finish the Korrasami one btw). At least I got to start 2020 with a completed drawing on the very 1st day, ha-ha! Perhaps that's a good omen for this year?
If so, then I hope I'll find the time to finish the rest of the 2019 Inktober prompts, since I only did 4/31 this past October (even though I'd thought of ideas for all of them). I brought all the necessary drawing utensils and sheets of paper with me, so whenever I'm in the mood, I'll try to sketch another one.
*calculates for the nth time*.. I wrote 18,110 words worth of fanfiction, plus 820 words for the UYLD prompts (making the total 18,930). Technically, you can count another 8k+ in there, since it comes from that unfinished story (of Aang taking care of a flu-ridden Katara, as illustrated by the September sketch), which I haven't finished within the last 4 months or so. Plus, I barely wrote 1/5 of the amount compared to 2018.. *hides in shame*
Then again, I was an excellent pupil for picking up an actual book and reading through 150+ pages (which means I have ~300 pages to go). I'm talking about the new Kyoshi novel that came out. As I once said, I haven't voluntarily read a book in years make that 2 years ago (most of the reading I've done in my life is either Tom & Jerry comics, now the Avatar comic trilogies and art books as well as fanfiction online, or compulsory reading during school). But this novel is freaking fantastic superb!
Not only that, I bought all the new comic trilogies and managed to read them through. Damn, did they give me feels.. especially "Ruins of the Empire" (ngl I squeed so hard when I saw the Korrasami farewell kiss on the 1st page of the 2nd part). I can't wait to read the 3rd part this year!
However, I failed to rewatch Avatar last year, and I haven't seen Korra since.. 2016, I believe? Wow, that's 4 whole years.. But I intend to fix that mistake starting from 2020. Hopefully I'm in the mood to start my rewatch this weekend tonight. *fingers crossed*
But as I said, I had much less time to focus on my hobbies since 2019 was the year for finally moving on with my life (sort of, I'm still working on it). I still remember how down I'd been feeling for a while and how valid those emotions really were. The first quarter of the year (+ like a month or two) was a continuous descent into desperation and feelings of utter failure, which already started around the 2nd half of 2018 and only continued to deepen around that time.
Everything began to change when I was first chosen to be part of a 2-month summer internship in an IT company, and I had to start building a new nest in a new location in Tallinn this May. And now, I feel like I've hit the jackpot by getting a permanent job in another IT company this October.
I got the opportunity to work in two different fields, in two different teams within a year. I met some awesome colleagues (a lot of whom are foreigners) and got the chance to really put my English skills to the test.
Thanks to the new job, I also had to go to a free health check, which went really-really well. Despite my nervousness in the beginning, I feel much more relaxed about my physical (and mental) health, cause the results showed that everything's okay (something I'd been worried about since March 2017).
Speaking of health or staying healthy, there were a few sports events that I went to, too. Our team held the first winter team event (it was the first one for me, at least) by going to do archery in a range on the outskirts of the capital.
I watched the football match between 2 teams of our local league at my hometown together with my dad on his birthday. Our home team won the match and came in 4th place overall in the league this year, which is their best result so far (I'm really proud!). And merely days before I started work, I visited the Tallinn International Horse Show for the first time (also with my dad). I last got to watch horses jump over fences or dance to their musical programs ~ 10 years ago, and I loved it!
Event-wise 2019 was pretty full of them. As has become tradition, I went to the Defence Forces parade on our 101st Independence Day (which seemed rather bleak compared to the centennial, even more so since we didn't have ANY snow at the time).
What will hopefully become new traditions, I visited the television tower on the Restoration of Independence Day (where Uku Suviste gave a free concert in the evening), and went to the Veteran's Rock concert (to honour our war veterans) on our Freedom Square on the 23rd of April (since I'm residing in the capital now, I should be able to go again this year).
To continue with the centennial celebrations (yes, some things are STILL turning 100), I saw and explored inside the armoured train no. 7 called "Wabadus" ("Freedom") in the Baltic Station. This armoured train was one of the keys that led our country to victory during the War of Independence from 1918-1920.
There was an even bigger (150th) anniversary to celebrate in the beginning of July, when I attended our Song and Dance Festival. This was a really important, if not the biggest event of the year. I intend to make a longer post about my experience, cause it's something that you foreigners need to see for yourself. I can't simply describe or put it into words, I have to show you some videos and photos.
But while we're on the topic of concerts, I should mention that I went to 2 more at the beginning of June - Bon Jovi and Sting - as well as 2 that were part of Christmas tours in December - Elina Nechayeva and Rolf Roosalu.
Besides that, I went to 6 different festivals, half of which I'd been to several times before, such as the Türi Flower Fair, Jäneda Farm Days (where I went on my first helicopter ride for my 25th birthday present) and the Christmas market in the Old Town of Tallinn.
The other half is comprised of festivals that I'd been considering going to for a while, or which took place for the first time. The latter applies to the Black Food Festival, whereas the "Valgus Kõnnib" ("Wandering Lights") and the duck rally, both of which took place in Kadriorg, fall under the first category.
The duck rally is a charity event held in the beginning of June. Regular people can buy at least one (or several) rubber bath duckies for different prices, which will then be dumped into a tiny stream that'll carry them towards the finish line. This event has grown more popular each year, and the money the Estonian Association of Parents of Children with Cancer (sorry, long name in English!) collects is donated to the Cancer Treatment Fund.
*wipes forehead*.. Phew! I'm surprised, that's a whole lotta positivity for 2019. I think there's one more important, but seriously negative topic I haven't covered yet, but I feel should be mentioned and explained.
When it comes to politics, 2019 was a complete disaster for us. EKRE (Eesti Konservatiivne Rahvaerakond in Estonian, or Estonia's Conservative People's Party in English) i.e. our populist/nazi/pro-Trump party is in the government as of April 2019, thanks to 100,000+ idiots (out of our population of 1.3 million) who voted for them and gave them 19/101 seats in the Parliament.
No, I am NOT going to apologize for calling them a nazi party, because their main leaders have repeatedly supported ideology that's common to nazis (they use aggressive rhetoric, blame the media for making them look bad, downgrade women, minorities, are racist, anti-semitic etc...). And I will not apologize in front of the people who voted for them, because "thanks" to this, EKRE has dragged our country's reputation straight through a mud puddle (not to mention the scandals that have accompanied 5 of their ministers, 3 of who have THANKFULLY stepped down from their positions) and.. *swears like the British*.. it's BLOODY EMBARRASSING.
I am done being nice, I have at least some kind of prejudice about anyone who supports them or their ideals. And I will certainly not let Estonia end up like America. So that is why I participated in two protest events against EKRE and our current government (because the 2 other parties, who were willing to form the coalition with them, are spineless jellyfish that simply seek to hold onto their current positions of power). I'm willing to take bets as to when our government falls (the sooner the better).
*shakes off the frustration*.. Brrr! So besides that, I guess the only downside to 2019 was my spare time falling back in the list of priorities (which shows in the empty square of July).
2020 is gonna be the year of the white metal rat. I can only hope (and take action so) that it'll be just as eventful, and much more creative than 2019. Thank you all for following me (or lurking anonymously) for so long, especially to the bloggers who've offered me support through better or worse! *raises a glass* Here's to 2020!.. *sip*
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