#also i totally didnt accidentally post this yesterday
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#guess who got sick for 9 days on their 2 week break#also i totally didnt accidentally post this yesterday#haha nope#anyways#stimboard#garten of banban#banban stimboard#red stim#fur stim#transgender#pansexual#trans stim#pan stim#i wanna make out with him#banban's kindergarten#banban#tw food#food tw#flash tw#tw flashing#blinkies
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HAPPY HALLOWEENNNN!!!!!!
A few TWS before the actual art!!! Eye imagery in image one, uncolored blood in image one, one religious symbol in image two, bright ass weezer ass blue + colored blood(??) in image three
NOW LOOK AT THE SILLIES!!!!!
Owners of the OCs -> Character -> What they're dressed as:
@hadowoony - Vita, Scarecrow
@kyayamo - Gavril, Plague doctor - Valentino, Vampire
@feralacidsugar - Mick, Beetlejuice - Ian, Michael Myers
@sanudefinitelyhasadhd - Sanu, Vampire
@csvamaryllis - Amaryllis, Some sort of???? eldritch horror??? I took creative liberties..
@starri-soul - Balckthorn, Mima (Perfect Blue)
@tiredguyswag - Faheema, Pirate - Heera, Witch - Damian, Phantom of the Opera
@simonxkeyes - Ironmonger, Medieval King (how to draw kings guys...)
@melikedraw - Leona, S H R I P.
@anotheroneofthegaysharks - Thunderbird, Sheet Ghost (didn't know what to draw vro as so i just drew him with that one doodle of the Epic Battle between the Ghouls and Skeletons as reference :3)
Last but certainly not least..
@itsdappleagain - Python, Inflatable Dino!
And some silly doodles!!!
They include..
Veemper - Valentino, Sanu, Gavril, and Damian! BECAUSE WHY DOES EVERYOJE WANNA BE A VMAPIRE/silly
Utensil Gang - Faheema, Damian, Heera! They're gonna get you.
A few notes..
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THESE GUYS I'm so sorry If I got any of their facial features wrong, cuz for most of these guys it was the first time drawing em</3 HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!! HAVE A GREAT DAY TO ALL WHO DONT CELEBRATE!!!! or. like. hope you had a great day, idk what time it is for yall when I'm posting this!!11!!1!1!1
also erm.. if you guys got some sort of notifications yesterday..... no you didnts..... totally didn't accidentally post the first draft of this yesteray.... nope..... nah........ definitely didnt.....
#I LOVE THEM SMMSMSMSMSMS#dont ask where chipper is. i forgot abt bro.#I WAS SUPPOSED TO OOST THIS EARLIER.#this post is so long. good lawd.#fan art#â mo-art!.#art#my art#not my ocs#halloween art#digital art#artists on tumblr#carmen sandiego#last legacy#cs ocs#cs oc#carmen sandeigo#carmen sandiego oc#carmen sandeigo 2019
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whatâs going on (iâm seeing out of context spn posts on my dash). what happened
HII OK SO actually im not even 100% sure on the details of this one but basically two actors on spn (one played a vampire who was lowk def fucking dean and the other played deans werewolf bf or actually like a human turned werewolf but thats not the point) were like best friends during filming like went to the others weddings and kept posting on twt abt being besties etc etc. but like literally all of the spn cast acts like theyre in love w each other genuinely they could be making out in public and everyone would be like âwow the cw is going hard w the queerbaiting promo this timeâ. but also like. i think ty (the vampire actor) literally posted a pic of them on best friends day and went like âweâre non-sexual life partnersâ or some insane shit like that a bunch of years ago so. so really it was a mess
anyway but like yesterday dj announced he was like fully in love w ty and also they were getting married!!!! im not totally caught up on the lore but judging by general reactions this was NOT expected. so for a normal tv show this would be met w âgood for them!â but everyones still a little traumatized from bishagate two years ago and ppl were like okay this is gonna turn out a mistake he prob meant âplatonic life partnersâ again this could be queerbaiting to promote s16 (which like isnt even confirmed yet) but like ppl werent fully sure??? like its PROBABLY real and that means being super happy for them but like their coworker literally accidentally came out once and didnt say anything for two days so who knows. but like. its prob true!!!!! and the trend of ppl getting married w their spn coworkers?? its insane. AND the werepire jokes bc they had the funniest possible casting combo AND the fact that they went from âim so happy youre getting married to her!â to âim marrying you asap��????? sooo funny i love spn sm weâre getting endless updates on the lore
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gift for @5-of-spadesâ!~
#i was looking at the eyes and it looked different for some reason but then i noticed its cause of the eyelashes effect-thing?#i like the roses in the background highfive me#andgooglefortherefsbutshhh#also i totally didnt forget to post one yesterday but#in my defense#i was left unsupervised#while cutting strawberries and#accidentally cut myself cause i was goofing with a knife asdjnjksf#ikemen revolution#lancelot kingsley#my art
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dropped my phone in the pool yesterday. second time in two years. imma clutz. not having music when i run and swim feels like iim on punishment. excruciating punishment. how fucking boring it is to just hear your own breathing and footsteps when youre running. like, i occasionally went for a run without turning on my playlist, but that was by choice and to feel like ... idk ... like i was in nature or some shit? my phone is literally sitting in a bowl of rice rn. fucking fingers crossed. i feel like that fucking meme where the girl is churning butter? this shit fuckn blows
and actually i didnt drop it in the pool. it was in my waterproof h20 thingie. i fucked around and was fiddling with it and didnt notice i had accidentally opened it until too late. exact same thing happened last time, 10yrs ago. lmao - that time i ended up with a brand new iphone upgrade, totally free thx to the extra nice girl @ the apple store. this time its too close to the new iphone release date, so i wont push my luck
i watched the apple event yesterday. and a commentator said that they think that apple is eventually moving to have a completely sealed iphone within the next few years. such that it could remain submerged in 10 ft of water for up to an hour with no damage. that shit cannot happen fast enough for me. and no, idgaf about the inputs for charging or for headphones. fuck that shit and give me my waterproof iphone. (also, the tech analysts said a completely sealed iphone would allow for tighter security against the government back doorâing their way into the iphone, so yay for encryption, but i just rly want a completely waterproof phone)
i am so damn tempted to use my business phone that i keep in the office for emergencies. but with my luck the moment i take it, one of my employees will need it for a life or death emergency
gd i miss my phone. it was wired via bluetooth to my home stereo so that i could listen to my playlists, but apparently those playlists didnt sync to my ipad? what kinda bullshit is that?? my playlists are sooo good
im buying that iphone 12 pro max so fucking hard when it comes out
welp. guess ill be alone with my thoughts. at home. in the office. no distractions whatsoever. just me and my brain. thinking bout shit. constantly. for the next 2 or 3 days. or ... longer??
even posting on tumblr feels different. i always use my phone to post. but now? i have to go to my laptop, turn it on, and (im exhausted already dazza lotta work)
the only good news here is i backed up my phone a week ago. the last time this happened i hadnt backed up my phone in over a year and i lost over 25k notes, photos and videos
shitfuckdamnmotherfuckergoddamnitcuntbitchasshole (sorry had to get that out)
hope my posts dont get too weird with all this extra thinking. lol. yall bouta find out who the *real* odin is
sn: who do i call to get a copper line put in my condo?
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currently running on a total of 5 hours of sleep in total in the past 50 hours because finals are completely draining me
anyways im so so so sorry for not being here in a while, ive been studying a lot cause my finals start this week and its the end of the school year and what not
a few hours ago kai was trying to comfort me while i was crying over math equations because i got so mad at a question that i literally couldn't hold in my tears
IM USUALLY SO GOOD AT MATH BUT I LITERALLY CANT FUNCTION AT ALL
yesterday i stayed up binge watching mha so i decided that i needed to study today
i think ive done enough for today so im gonna take tomorrow as another off day
wait hold on im gonna check my finals schedule
what the fuck my finals dont even start until friday
im gonna fucking scream oh my god i literally spent the whole day studying when i didnt have to
im also very sex deprived and kai wont even let me look at his dick because apparently i need to sleep first
am i gonna sleep? yeah đ
currently waiting for the melatonin i took to kick in
i cant wait until summer, school's been taking away my opportunities to do anything interesting
a bunch of tiktok kids are on my ass because i said that 14 year old boys shouldn't be saying weird sexual shit and calling random girls mommy
i saw a post that was like "stop playing before i put you in doggy style gripping your hair telling you to shut up and take it"
went on this mfs page and his bio said "14"
bro go do your algebra 1 homework đ
im getting tired now but ill come back tomorrow
also i hope youre doing okay!
OH ALSO I FORGOT TO SAY IT BUT I SAW THE VIDEO OF YOU DOING THAT DISCORD DANCE AND YOURE SO CUTE WHAT THE HELL
anyways i gtg before i fall asleep and accidentally delete this whole thing
- roadtrip anon <3
awwwwww, im sorry bub, final exams really suck ;( iâm sure youâre gonna do amazing though, esp since youâre working that hard.Â
I love how you checked mid message when ur finals were that was kinda cute LMFAOÂ
also donât worry bubs! I was actually just wondering today about where youâd gone n what you were up to.Â
hopefully you get a good nightâs rest so kai (glorious and respectful kai) will give you one single iota of cock. good luck, bae, sleep well <3Â
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Forgot to post my bullet point list of liveblogs/thoughts while I was in post limit jail yesterday, so under the keep reading it is if anyone wonders
⢠Girl help, it's 2pm and I have till 11pm till post limit resets
⢠I'm not liking any art because I don't like without reblogging
⢠When did Phil switch to dsmp? I swear he was doing he?
⢠Also is he spawn proofing ranboks house? Pog!
⢠But back to tubbo for now
⢠Is this the earliest I've hit post limit? Makes sense cuz I didn't sleep.
⢠Wtf happened on Phil's stream? Oh wait did he find the vault? And then the prime room?
⢠Apparently he found Carl.
⢠Just saw someone in Phil's chat say "wdym not ur son"... what do you think???
⢠Ranboos gonna come online to see his house been snowed.
⢠DID HE FIND ANOTHER THING? LMAO RANBOO REALLY BECAME A MOLE. OTHER HALF CONFIRMED?
⢠Might be using Twitter more than notes because it's such a long time
⢠PRIME BELL
⢠Tubbo and rnaboo are still shooting stuff? Brub
⢠Uh oh "let's talk about the dream smp" sounds so onimous...
⢠It's not serious thank god
⢠Sdlgkekfnnsa he added that :) knowing what he doing
⢠The indirects? Uhoh
⢠I wonder if he's going to address the clashes of certain lore bits
⢠Hmm gonna lie down because sleepy
⢠Kinds sleeby but heart go Nyoom
⢠Hope someone posts fundys lore stuff because I watching jack
⢠Tired in beddddd
⢠"We haven't had a sympathetic villain yet" almost true! I'd say wilbur was semi-sympathetic
⢠Ajfjrkgjsndnv did bad show up just to tell him to join the egg
⢠I'm getting deja vu
⢠Also heheh melamine doofensmirtz
⢠Based on the liveblogs I'm seeing, fundy is trying to move into the arctic. Okay
⢠Fundys actually on the smp, sorry Jack but I follow one manifoldtwt person so I see all of jack stuff
⢠I open Phil's stream to see tubbo stream sniping. How cannon is tub o being here? Also when did rnabok and tubbo join phil
⢠"How is Michael doing"
⢠Ranboo and tubbo also being in the call while Phil is dunking on fundy for butcher army
⢠And tubbo killed him
⢠Tubbo just hit and run fundy
⢠I am out of bed I got interested in other stuff to quickly
⢠Go see Michael Phil please
⢠Ranboo is such an enabler
⢠Tubbo villain arc that's just his normal self let's go
⢠This is so cruel, Tubbo why
⢠'Aa batteries?'
⢠Poor fundy flkvkthmdna
⢠Among us role play time again but now it's town of Salem
⢠Tubbo just said 'platonic marriage'
⢠"Your what?"
⢠Hes definitely adopted rigkrjgnenca
⢠"Cake time you little shit"
⢠"Theres not a thought behind those eyes"
⢠'Unbiological'
⢠TUBBO?
⢠RJGJEKCNSN DOES FU DG JUST NOT GET THAT TECHBO HATES TUBBO
⢠Please don't free the child fundy
⢠RANBOO AND TUBBO JUST DESTROYED FUNDY
⢠AHAHAHA WILBUR DIDNT TURN OUT FINE
⢠Phil boutta snoop?
⢠Fundy just got murdered in michaels room
⢠Fundy don't threaten the helicopter parents
⢠Aite tubbo that was a joke too far
⢠PHIL PLEASE DONT
⢠PLEASE
⢠Phil has shclatt
⢠GHOST SQUEEKS. NO. NOT AGAIN.
⢠awww fundy being excited Phil said "runs in the family"
⢠wh. How bad was my delay on Phil's stream? Totally different point when I switch to fundy
⢠I just can't bring myself to do school work rn I can't explain it, probably because a lot of it is tests
⢠Chat o7-ing with no context for c!fundy
⢠Fundy always accidentally screening himself over damn
⢠I know foxes are considered sneaky but man calm down
⢠HUH? GLOWING WOOOL? FUDBY?
⢠Just woke up. Tanbkk live.
⢠Tubbo I think that is called fanfic. No tubbo it is. Tubbo you can't deny it that's still fanfic.
⢠Bless ranboo for trying to help stop the belief that fanfics are all nsfw
⢠"Is tubbo drunk" have yall never seen a tired/chaotic person
⢠Tubbo thought Thomas sanders created vine???
⢠Going thru that big dream merch post and just blocking so many of them, cuz I don't want those people ever looking at my stuff
⢠Also so many of them are just... saying straight up misinfo
⢠"*sigh* are we being overprotective?" "...protection 4"
⢠"Prot 4 parents"
⢠Techno just vibing on the server eyes emoji
⢠Golddigger tubbo returns
⢠Techno just staring out the window
⢠He left rkgkrkgjsja
⢠Yet? ... ramboo???
⢠Chat stop being weirdchamp :)
⢠I think I should just not read chat rn
⢠I saw a dono mention ramboo maybe having EDS, ehlers-danlos syndrome and like... I lowkey been wondering similar stuff?
⢠I had EDS btw
⢠My doctor said there's something similar to EDS but involves growing... a lot. *looks at ranboos 6'6 self*
⢠FUXK OFF HEATWAVSZ OS ON MY RADIO AGAIN. FUXK YOJ
⢠Why do I suddenly feel really sad about something? Uh oh
⢠"LORE?" Chat asks while puffy describes how her toilet broke
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Salt, Tequila, Lemon - Jason Todd x Reader
Please read this intro, thank you very much : Â
So. I posted this yesterday, but after a bug on the Tumblr app on my phone it got deleted. Iâm super bummed out because it had over 200 notes and quite a few feedbacks that I never got to read because it was accidentally deleted...If the people that took the time to comment things on the story could take a bit more time to write a little comment again and give me their feedbacks, and also if the people that liked and reblog could do it once more...iâd appreciate the hell out of you <3. So reposting it (thanks god I always have back ups of all my stories now). Written in twenty minutes during my break at work. Bam. Hope youâll like it :
Also, since Tumblrâs new guidelines and enforcement of it, I DONâT really appear in searches anymore, so the only way for this story to be seen by others than those who follow me is to reblog it. So if you wanna, you can show your support for my writing by doing just that. Thanks very much. You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives
_________________________________________________
Ok. So. Grandmaâs remedy against heartbreak ? Oh, right.Â
Salt. Tequila. Lemon.Â
Got it. Licking the back of your hand to make the salt stick to it, you pour yourself a massive shot of âTo-Kill-Yaâ in your coffee mug, not even caring about the fact that there is still some remnant of your cappuccino from last night in it.Â
You focus on the sound the liquid makes as it fills your cup. Makes you think about something else. Good. Yup. This was totally gonna help right now.Â
âCheersâ, you exclaim to yourself, your empty apartment echoing your voice.Â
Salt.Â
Wincing. Stingy. Salt on its own is gross.Â
Tequila.Â
More wincing. Oh my god, it burns. The coffee that was still at the bottom of the cup is an oddly nice touch.Â
Lemon.Â
The last of the Wincing.Â
You spit the piece of lemon you just bit into in the trash andâŚmiss. The yellow fruit falls with a little flat sound on the floor, and you honestly canât bother to pick it up. Your apartment is a mess anyway, so you just stare at it angrily and pour yourself another drink.Â
Salt. Tequila. Lemon.Â
You gulp the last of the citrus and shiver. Miss the trash again.Â
Damn. This was good.Â
Well, actually, it was disgusting.Â
You didnât like strong alcohol and what the Hell ?! Why did you leave a bit of coffee in your cup ? Now that the aftertaste was kicking in, it was actually really gross. If the tequila itself didnât make you wanna throw up, the stale coffee taste nearly did. Oh, and the salt and lemon combination was as awful as ever.Â
You really didnât like salt, tequila, or lemon.Â
But it was still good.Â
Because thanks to all this immediate awfulness, you could slowly feel yourself drift into âhaze landâ, and forget about your worries.Â
Forget that your boyfriend of two years just cheated on you with some random woman you worked with. Woman that, by the way, he met at the Christmas âend of the yearâ party from you work you invited him toâŚYou gave him free champagne and mise-en-bouche and all your love, and he broke your heart.Â
It wasnât your thing, to drink your sorrow away. And it wasnât your thing either to wallow because of a manâŚBut you genuinely thought he was âthe oneâ (oh what a mistake you would soon realize that was).Â
He was always so nice, treating you like a princess. He complimented you daily, and never forgot an important date. He was affectionate, not to an annoying point. He was the perfectamount of affectionate. He was a gentleman and seemed to love you and yet, he betrayed you.Â
If a man like him, that was nothing short but sweet and passionate with you, cheated on you, then did that mean you couldnât trust anyone ?Â
Because in your eyes right now, he was perfect. Albeit said eyes were slightly clouded by a a few tequila shots.Â
You were downing a fourth drink starting to slowly sob whenâŚ
Thereâs very few things that can get you out of a drunk state in seconds.Â
An extremely cold shower could do the trick, for instance. Brings you back to your senses a bit you know ? You wouldnât magically be sober, but youâd get a clearer mind. Or someone giving you shocking news ! Or like, an event so incredible that your body just forgets how drunk it is for a minute.Â
And this event, for you, came at the perfect time.Â
Right when you were entering your âsad drunkâ phase, which was between the âlol alcohol does NOTHING to meâ phase where you downed most of your drinks, and the âdancing on the barâs counterâ phase (a few more drinks and you would have a one woman dance party in your living room, acting as if you were on a barâs counter and that your name was suddenly âBritneyâ).
Right when you were about to wallow times a thousand, and cry, and yell âwhyyyyyyy ?!â to the sky, arms in the air (drama queen).Â
Years later, looking back on that particular event, youâll start to realize that Destiny HAS to exist. Because come on, it was just too perfect a timing to be a simple coincidence.Â
You were about to swallow up your fifth drink, launching yourself head first into the âsad phaseâ when an ear shattering noise rang all around your apartment.Â
Broken glass.Â
It was the sound of broken glass. Heightened to the max by your drunkness. You turned on your stool, andâŚthere he was.Â
It was a guy. That you were sure of because he had no boobs and too much pecs. And that guyâŚwell that guy just flew right through your window, destroying it. How rude.Â
There was glass everywhere.Â
How much did a window cost ? Probably a fortune.Â
You wondered briefly if you could just use aluminium foil and tape the shit up. There was nothing of value to steal in your apartment anyway, and if aluminium foil could keep meals warm, it definitely worked with a house too right ?Â
You sobered up quite a bit, but you were also very drunk when this event happened, so your mind was still in that cloudy weird phase where your priorities wereâŚinteresting.Â
You worried more about the broken window at first, than about that guy who just launched through it.Â
A guy.Â
Not just any guy.Â
You saw that guy before.Â
He was one of those night vigilante your crazy hometown was filled withâŚRED HOOD !!Â
âThick thighsâ, is the first thing you thought right after you recognized him (priorities).Â
The second thing you thought was that you needed another drink, and so you downed what was your fifth one, but with that crazy thing happening ended up being on the same level as if it was a second one. You were tipsy, but not âdrunkâ anymore.Â
The third thing that came to your mind wasâŚIs he still alive ?Â
No cause, he was like, just laying there, on your living roomâs floor, not moving.Â
ââŚOutch.âÂ
Oh. He spoke.Â
So he ainât dead. Good, means you can have another drink then, you donât need a clear mind to call an ambulance or something.Â
Oddly enough, in your half-drunk half-sober state, this sounded completely reasonable. Nevermind if Red Hood had some internal bleeding or something. He talked. He was probably fine.Â
A minute passed, and you just sat there, sipping up your tequila in between taking a pinch of salt and biting into a piece of lemon.Â
Salt, tequila, lemon. Great remedy against heartbreaks.Â
Wait, were you heartbroken ? Really ? You couldnât really recall that fact now. But, yeahâŚit was the reason why you were drinking right ? Because right now, all you could think about was the fact that this Red hood guy had abs for daysâŚ
This unforeseen event sobered you up quite a bit, but the two shots you just took kinda brought you back to the same state than you were before.
Well. Not quite. You were drunk as hell again, but seemed to have avoided the âsad phaseâ. Instead, Red Hood bursting quite literally through your window took you to another road.Â
The : âCool, I got a drinking buddy phaseâ. Well, taking for granted he didnât have any internal bleeding and wouldnât die while biting into a lemon wedge.Â
âTough day ?âÂ
You ask him, as he slowly sits up and shakes his head, trying to regain his senses. He looks towards you and seem surprised (or at least you think he is, because he wears a mask soâŚkinda hard to tell).Â
************
Jason definitely thought he was alone in this place, because no sane person would just sit there, not saying anything, as someone simply jumped through their window. Nope, most people would just freak out. Scream.Â
He knows, because itâs not the first time he falls through a window during a night on duty. And every single time it happened, people freaked out. Screamed. Threw stuffs at him, or hid away begging for their life to be spared.Â
And yet here you were, half a bottle of tequila in front of you, surrounded by lemon wedges you bit into, and table salt all over your hand, just staring at him curiously. And did you just say : âtough dayâ ? Â
Well, Jason guessed the empty half of the bottle was why you were so chilled about it all. He sat up, and slowly got back to his feet.Â
Usually, going through a window meant the end of the night for him. Heâd go back to one of his secret stash, patch himself up and get some rest. Most of the time, he fell through windows because someone pushed him or threw him thereâŚThough today, he just embarrassingly missed a step and fell by himself.Â
Of course, no one would ever now he tripped while jumping from one building to another (you lived on the last floor) and went careening into your home (and life). Nope, the official story would be that he fought a fierce enemy and was thrown into that window. Finding fake villains name was easy, given how truly ridiculous some could be.Â
Tim and Damian were still after the âIllusive Blue Manâ that he totally made up that one time he walked into a poll and had a huge black eye that he couldnât quite explainâŚOh man, he had to stop telling such elaborate lies and just say âI fought with a few guys last nightâ without more explanation.Â
But he couldnât help it. And those kids believed everything he said, it was too temptingâŚBut for now, this wasnât the issue. Nope.Â
He did a quick check of his body and knew he wasnât really hurt (thanks âdadâ for the amazing body armor ugh ?), so he was planning on leaving that poor girlâs house and send a mystery check in the mail to pay for the damage (money stolen from a certain Bruce Wayne of course, as if he would pay himself).Â
Yup. He was just gonna stand up, and go on his way andâŚsomehow, he found himself sitting on the stool opposite side of this mysterious girl, and now she was peppering salt on his hand ?Â
âSaltâ, she says, and she has a cute drunk voice. Jason almost forgets he just went through a window a few minutes ago.Â
âTequilaâ, she continues, downing her drink and pointing at the one she poured him. He doesnât even care the she poured it in a cereal bowl that she didnât even seem to have cleanâŚHe drunk worst things in worst recipient. He turns away to take off his mask and so that she canât see his face, and âbottomâs upâ.Â
âLemon !â she finishes, biting into the sour fruit and spitting it in the direction of the trashcan but missing completely. The lemon wedge goes to lost itself amongst his fallen brothersâŚ
Jason bites into his own lemons, and spits it. Right into the garbage.Â
Thereâs a slight pause, where she just stares at the trashcan, and then at Jason, back to the trashcan, and then turns to him again and simply says :Â
âWow.âÂ
************
So. This was surreal.Â
Here you were. In your home. Taking tequila shots. WithâŚRed Hood.Â
One of Gothamâs night vigilante. The most violent one. But the dude seemed chilled. He was holding his liquor really well.Â
And now you were talking about your broken heart, telling him the story as if heâd been your friend for years. And he was listening. Intently. And reacting to what you were saying. It had been a LONG time, since you had this kind of talk with anyone, and despite the fact you were drunk, you still noticed how nice it felt to have someone to talk to. Someone that genuinely listened.Â
âAnd then he slept with her !â you say angrily.Â
âNooooooo !?!âÂ
âYes, he did ! He slept withâŚwithâŚwhat was her nameâŚâ
âNicole. From accounting.âÂ
âRight, Nicole from accounting ! That bitch ! She always justâŚcounts and shit ! And he slept with her ! Nicole from accounting ! Whom he met thanks to me, by the way ! At a partyyyy !! At my wooooork !!âÂ
âWhat an ass.âÂ
âRight ?! Oh but he had such a good ass thoughâŚQuite firm. But whenever he wore jeans, it was super flat.âÂ
âSo, not such a good ass in the end then ?âÂ
âI guess not. You have a good ass. Popping right out in this outfit of yours.âÂ
Red Hood chuckles, and the sound of his laughter makes you forget that you just said something incredibly embarrassing. His voice isâŚnice. Deep. Manly. You like it. You wanna make him chuckle some more, so you say, hoping :Â
âAnd it looks very firm. Not just quite firm.âÂ
It works. He snorts and itâs very cute. Oh wow. He can be sexy and cute. Full package. You smile a bit dreamily.Â
For a second, heâs lost in that smile of yours, and thereâs a silence installing itself in the room. A comfortable one. That you break :Â
âOk. So now, heâs not that perfect anymore ! He got no ass ! Penalty points ! I never notice how un-assed he was beforeâŚâÂ
Jason smiles and damn. Heâs hot.Â
Somewhere along the way, he stopped turning his face away from you whenever he took a shot, and just ended up taking his helmet off. He was probably hoping that youâd black out or something, so you wouldnât remember his face (or he just didnât care).Â
In any case, you were pretty sure you never saw him before. His face kinda reminded you of an old memory. Of someone you saw somewhere long ago, when you were a kidâŚWhich wasnât really a big help right ?Â
Right. You had no idea who he was. And in your drunken state, probably couldnât piece anything together anyway. So even if you did know who he could be, you wouldnât know in the end anywayâŚMakes perfect sense right ?
What you knew was : heâs hot.Â
This white streak in his hair did something to you that you couldnât explain. And that jawline ? You would love to get cut on that bitch. Â It could actually cut a bitch, you were sure of it. Those blue eyes ? Youâve never seen someone with such blue eyes. And did you mention to yourself how muscular he was ? Because man you only saw guys like this in magazines !Â
But beyond his handsome features, he seemed like a nice guy. Like he was listening to you, a total stranger. And this realization suddenly raised your guard up.Â
You also thought that your ex-cheating-boyfriend was a nice guy. And come to think of it, who the hell just barge in someoneâs home like that, and actually stay to drink tequila shots ?! Wait butâŚin your gutsâŚitâs not like with your ex.Â
You donât think heâs a nice guy. You know he is.Â
************
Thereâs a visible shift in your mood, after this realization. So far, you talked to him about your broken heart freely, and he listened.Â
Oddly enough, no words that came out of your (perfect) mouth bored him. Jason wasnât sure wether it was the alcohol or not, but you captivated him.Â
But in a split second, and without him knowing why, your features changed. You were now frowning. Like an unhappy little kid. It was kinda cute, but he didnât like it becauseâŚwhy were you frowning ?Â
He tries to lighten up the mood and says :Â
âWell here you go. See, you didnât loose the perfect guy, his ass was flat in jeans. Canât work with that, can you ? I bet we can find other flaws. Make you realize he actually was a looser.â Â
Your guard is up, but you canât help but smile a bit, plus you were frowning just now because you realized you just knew you could trust that total stranger, and it was so weirdâŚ.Â
Besides, no harm in indulging this, because youâre pretty sure itâll make you feel better to try and see the bad side of your ex-boyfriend, not just his good ones. No one was perfect. And so, still a bit careful, you say :Â
âWellâŚHe never got any of my Tv shows or movie references.âÂ
âWell, hereâs a point to take off of his âperfectnessâ. Doesnât get pop culture references. Deal breaker.âÂ
âYeahâŚYeah youâre right. It is. He also used to hate when I made jokes. I like puns ya know ? Terrible ones. Well, he was always embarrassed whenever I made them in public.âÂ
âAshamed of his girlfriend, doesnât sound very gentlemanly, right ?âÂ
âYeah. It doesnât. Maybe he wasnât such a perfect gentlemanâŚHe also used to not want to go out with me if I didnât wear any make-up and was dressed just casually.âÂ
âWhat you mean, he never just went out with you ?âÂ
âWe only went out on dates. I had to dress up. I could be casual home thoughâŚâÂ
âWell goodie, the man let you be yourself when you were home. Big deal. To be honest, sounds like a douchey move.âÂ
âThat was kinda doucheyâŚI never cared what he looked like.âÂ
And itâs true. For you, physical appearance wasnât everything. And sure you thought your ex was hot and all, but only because you liked his personality too. You liked his jokes, you were never ashamed of anything he said.Â
And right now, sure that stranger that bursted through your window was hot, but the reason you felt like you could tell him things was because he just made you comfortable by his mere aura. Because he gave you such a good vibe.Â
You never were fully about appearances. It was always just a bonus for youâŚSo it never occurred to you why your ex would only hang out in public with you if you were pampered. Like he used to hate when you just wore hoodies and no make-up, even if you didnât need make-up to be beautiful.Â
Comes to think of it, he was very much about appearancesâŚUh. Interesting. You never realized that before.Â
You turn to Red Hood, and the look on your face says it all. Youâre slowly realizing maybe you didnât just lost âthe oneâ. The vigilante says :Â
âOk, so : no ass, no humor apparently, doesnât get pop culture references, and was kind of a jerk when it came to going out with youâŚâÂ
âHe did tell me often that I was beautiful though. Including when I just woke up from a night out, and was awful looking.â
âYeah, but he never went out with you looking like that. He shouldnât feel ashamed of hanging out with you looking like that. Just like he shouldnât feel embarrassed when you joke. He can be exasperated, like if you really make bad puns, sure. And he can think itâs unfunnyâŚBut embarrassed ? No.âÂ
âI guessâŚI never thought about it.âÂ
âWell let me tell you, as someone who does not know neither you nor him personally, he sounds like a bit of a jerk. Letâs not forget he cheated as well. Like, thatâs not something good people do. Especially not withâŚNicole from accounting.âÂ
âNicole from accountingâŚYeah. Theyâre together now though.âÂ
âSo ? He shouldâve broken up with you if he realized he liked her. Thatâs the right thing to do. Trust me on that, I put villains behind bars for a living, I know whatâs right or wrong.âÂ
âI heard you kill criminals.âÂ
âUsed to. I used to kill criminals, I had issues. Iâll tell you one day if you wanna. Itâs a real tear jerker story. With clowns and crowbars. And Iâm telling you that because Iâm drunk, right now. Also, if we want to be specific, I donât actually make a living out of putting villains behind bars. Like, I donât get paid or anythingâŚâÂ
Jason finds himself ranting about anything that comes to his mind, and though he hears himself claim itâs because of the alcohol heâs saying all this, he realizes maybe thereâs something else making him want to talk.Â
You. A total stranger he walked upon. Or rather, went-through-the-window upon. Â Who didnât freak out when he went through said window. And instead, invited him over to have tequila shots.Â
Because, according to your grandmother, the best remedy toâŚbasically any problems in life, was âsalt, tequila, lemonâ.Â
âShe was a wise woman.âÂ
He says, and you turn to him, clearly not understanding what he was talking about.Â
âWho ?âÂ
âYour grandma. For saying that salt, tequila and lemon was a great remedy against heartbreaks and all.âÂ
âOh. Yeah. I wouldnât know, I never met her. She died before I was born.âÂ
âWell what she passed on to your parents is great.âÂ
âWhat ?â
âWell, that âsalt, tequila and lemonâ thing, I assume she said that to your mom or dad, and then they said that to you, and then it became your grandmaâs advice. Right ?âÂ
ââŚNah. Itâs an excuse I made up. Whenever I need to justify something, I just say âlike my grandma said, ainât no shame in eating an entire tub of ice cream if you want toâ, and then people are just like âoh yeah, coolâ, because when you say the word âgrandmaâ, then it gives a perspective to your words ya know ?âÂ
Jason had no idea what you were on about, but he loved it. You seemed to be very smart. And witty. And funny. The hell did that guy cheated on you for ? And why was he ashamed of going out in public with you when you werenât dressed up ?!Â
You currently wore âHello Kittyâ pyjamas, had absolutely no make up on, and your hair was a mess, and he thought you looked gorgeous.
âWhy are you so nice ?âÂ
Your question takes him by surprise, and for a few seconds he doesnât register it and just says : âugh ?âÂ
âTo me. Why are you so nice to me ? Is it the alcohol ? Does it make you nice ? Or are you just nice to every stranger ? Every girl you destroy the windows of ? Or are you like my ex ? You seem nice, but then you go off and cheat on your girl simply because you like another girl and youâre too cowardly to break up with your current girl ?âÂ
Jason hiccups slightly, and says :Â
âNo, Iâm not nice to any girl I met. Iâm actually usually kind of a jerk, too âbrutally honestâ. But youâŚI donât know. You give me good feelings. Oh and hereâs to add on his flaws list. âCowardâ. Canât even break up with a girl, has to wait to get caught red-handed and break her heart. Cooooward. Bad flaw. Kind of guy who runs in the face of danger, instead of standing by you.âÂ
Itâs probably the fact that he said âyou give me good feelingsâ that spurs this in you. That gives you a new clearer perspective on things.Â
âMy heart wasnât broken.â
Itâs a shock, to you. This realization. This sudden feeling jumping in your face. YouâŚare not heartbroken. Youâre mad. Youâre frustrated. You feel betrayed. You feel a crazy burning anger towards your ex for toying around with you like that. For not having the balls to just break up, after spending two years together.Â
He was suppose to know you. To be your friend. Things could have turned out better. He could have just come up to you, say the truth, andâŚYou were pretty sure youâd still be friend. Because he really was a great guy.Â
He really was all the good thing you though about him. He made a mistake, an unforgivable one in your book. But he was a great guy.Â
He was justâŚnot your great guy. Not anymore at least.Â
And you realized, there, quite drunk, thatâŚIt was ok. Â
Your heart wasnât broken. Â
Your heart wasnât broken.Â
Your pride was. Your trust was. But your heart ? âŚMaybe you werenât completely in love with him. You were best friends, yes, but love ? Maybe it wasnât loveâŚ
Your heart wasnât broken.Â
âMy heart isnât broken.âÂ
You tell Red hood, looking at him right in his wonderful ocean blue eyes. And he looks right back at you, and just nods. Just like that. And then he pours you one last tequila shot.Â
Because like your grandma would say : âWhen you make great discovery about yourselfâŚSalt, tequila, lemonâ.Â
************
It took you only a few hours with him to realize that you werenât in love with your ex, and that was kinda scary. Because this realization didnât come from nowhere.Â
Nope.Â
But when he said that your ex broke your heart, you felt obligated to tell him that no. No your heart wasnât broken. You were sad and angry, yes, but not heartbroken. For you, in that moment, it was important for this total stranger to know you werenât actually in love.Â
Hell, you didnât even know yourself you werenât that in love before you talked to him. It just came as a sudden, yet utterly true revelation.Â
Because, and this wasnât the alcohol speakingâŚYou felt incredibly attracted to that guy. To Red Hood. Not just because of the white streak in his hair, and the eyes, and smile, and voice, and abs, and thick thighs. That too, sure, but not onlyâŚNope.Â
Nope. Not because of this.Â
But because he had a tough day (he said so himself, explaining to you how he went through the windowâŚhe was fighting a super-villain when he got flung through your window, tough tough time ahem), and yet he sat with a crazy lady that peppered salt on his hand and practically forced him to take a tequila shotâŚ
Because you could see in his eyes, and felt in your guts that he didnât have an easy lifeâŚand yet he took a break from whatever he was doing to just sit with you and listen to you. He didnât even make sense, that you trusted those feelings so fiercely. And yet, you did. Because he listened to you.Â
He saw you were struggling and he stayed. And though you felt you couldnât trust anyone at that timeâŚYou oddly felt like he was ok.Â
Like he wouldnât be the kind of guy to cheat, or run in the face of danger, leaving you all alone to fight off demons.Â
In a few short hours, you fell for this guy more than you ever fell for your ex.Â
What did that say about you uh ? âŚThat was pretty patheticâŚ
************
Jason didnât think that you were pathetic at all.Â
On the contrary. If he went to seat with you, and drink with you, is because he was instantly mesmerized by you.Â
And though he didnât know at first why, now he was sure of it.Â
Itâs because you didnât freak out. And something told him it wasnât only because you were a bit drunk (he fell in drunk peopleâs home beforeâŚnone reacted like you).Â
Nope. It was because you were special. He just knew it. Special in every way. Funny. Beautiful. Genuinely listening to him when he was speaking.Â
He peppered his own problems within your story, as you told him. And you listened. Hell, even referenced a few things he said early on, way later, while you were crazy drunk. You listened.Â
You gave a total stranger that seemed to have a tough day some salt. And tequila. And lemons.Â
And then you cared. You asked him a thousand times if he was ok, and he basically had to take off his armor to prove it so (to your eyesâ greatest pleasureâŚmm mm mm those muscles).Â
Captivated. He was captivated by you. It was strange, and though he knew it was because you were special, he still was unclear as to why his feelings were that strong.Â
For someone he just met. And barely knew. And only knew while drunk.Â
You were justâŚSpecial.Â
************
It was surreal. The all thing.Â
What started as a night where you planned on wallowing your pain and drinkingâŚended up changing your life.Â
And no one could convince you that it wasnât Fate. Because what were the odds that Red Hood would fall through YOUR window after tripping (yeah you didnât buy that âfighting super-villains thingâ at all) ?
What were the odds of his timing being so perfect, arriving just before you started to cry ? Because there was no doubt in your mind that if he had come a few seconds later, he wouldnât have stayed.Â
He would have found a crying mess, and maybe he would have tried to confort you butâŚYou wouldnât have answered. In your âsad phaseâ, you only cry and whine. He would have eventually left. And the wonderful talk youâd just have, would never have happened.Â
But instead. He came right before your lips touch that fatal shot of tequila that would have brought you into the âsad phaseâ. And took your drunkness down a notch. Rerouted your evening.Â
You werenât wallowing anymore, you were ranting.Â
Sharing your anger and frustration.Â
And he helped you realize that your ex wasnât that perfectâŚThat maybe it was just not meant to beâŚAfter all, he cheated on you.Â
Uh. What a shame. You didnât even know his nameâŚâRed HoodââŚ
You wished you knew his name.Â
************
The morning lights were rising, and the bottle of tequila was long gone.Â
There were still salt and lemons though. For some reason, you decided to buy the entire grocery storeâs stock of lemons.Â
Red Hood stood up, and said he had to go.Â
He was nice about it. Said it was a pleasure to have spend the night with you. You both laughed about the innuendos that ensued.Â
You were exactly on the same page. And he understood all your joke referencing to pop cultureâŚÂ
But it was time for him to go. And he apparently had no intention of telling you his real name. He didnât hint either at ever coming back to see you again.Â
And there was that. Just a nice night, spend talking to a genuine friend that youâll never see again.Â
A genuine friend that you didnât even know a few hours before.Â
Maybe it was the alcohol speaking. Maybe not.Â
And even if you ended up never seeing him again, this evening truly changed your lifeâŚAt least, it saved you from a heartbreak. Made you realize it wasnât that.
Though, now, as he climbs out of the window again (he couldnât possibly use the front door), you feel like the actual heartbreak is starting.Â
Grandmaâs remedy against heartbreak ? Right.Â
Salt, tequila, lemonâŚ
But the tequila is all gone.Â
âIâll send someone to fix that windowâŚSorry again about that. âŚBye.â are his last words, and then heâs out.Â
And the tequila is all gone.Â
************
âŚÂ
âŚ
âŚ
âŚ
Days pass by in a blur.Â
Salt. Tequila. Lemon.Â
Ugh. But you donât want to this time. You donât want to get drunk to forget.Â
You donât want to forget him. And you know itâs ridiculous to get that worked up over a guy you met one night and that will never come back. That you didnât even know the name of.Â
This entire night was weird anyway.Â
Getting drunk with a dangerous night vigilante. Pouring your heart out to him, and him doing the same. The hell were you even thinking ?Â
Salt. Tequila. Lemon.Â
That would be a good idea to do this right now, because manâŚyour heart hurt. More than when you discovered your ex sleeping with Nicole. From accounting. But you canât resolve yourself to drink. To forget. Nope. Instead youâŚ
*Knock knock knock*.Â
Uh ? You take a quick look at your clock in the kitchen.10 pm. Who the hell is coming at 10 pm ?! It can only be bad news. Especially in GothamâŚYou peep into the eyehole andâŚ
WHAT ?!Â
You open your door quickly, andâŚÂ
âTold you Iâd send someone to fix your window.âÂ
Itâs him. Itâs Red hood. But inâŚcivilian clothes.Â
His ass doesnât look flat in jeans.Â
Heâs holding a window wrapped in cardboard, and thereâs a toolbox at his feet.Â
âYeah, you didâŚcome in.âÂ
************
Jason Todd.Â
Thatâs his name. And connections are fast to be made in your brain. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayneâs adopted son. That supposedly diedâŚten years ago.Â
And is Red Hood now. Oh. It makes sense. Even his little âkilling criminalsâ thing while Batman never killed. You easily put two and two together.Â
Red Hood. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne.Â
Wow. Canât believe you never guessed that before. Of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. Heâs got the motive, the means, the excusesâŚItâs so obvious. And yet, you never realized. And no one else in Gotham ever realized.Â
Jason Todd.Â
Now you know his name.Â
And heâs fixing your window. Nobody ever fixed windows for you before (even those who broke it).
Um. To add to the âperfect manâ list : âHandyâ.Â
Jason Todd. Â
He quickly works the window up, and then he turns to you. While he was working you talked, as if you knew each other for years. Joking around. Like old friends. Like old extremely good and close friends.Â
It fits. It clicks. Itâs natural. You and him, him and you.Â
Barely knowing each others, and yet knowing each others the best.Â
Jason. Todd.Â
He turns to you now, and with a smirk, he says :Â
âYa know, my grandma always say that when something good happens to you, you need to celebrate. And I feel like this, right now, you and I, though I have no idea what weâre doing and where itâs goingâŚWell itâs still something to celebrate. And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you needâŚâÂ
You smile.Â
Yeah. You donât know where this thing between you two is going, but you do know that you never met someone who so fully understood you.Â
And in such a short span of time. And you know youâre not mistaking. Itâs a feeling too strong to be a mistake.Â
He came back to fix your window for godâs sake. And trusted you enough to tell you his actual name. Without a second thought. Which meant everything. Especially since from all the hint he let slip through last time you saw each others, about his father, wellâŚletâs just say telling people his real name wasnât really something he was used to.Â
But it just works. It fits. It clicks. Itâs not like with your ex, because you donât think you know it does. It just does. The fact that you say those next few words in perfect sync finishes to convince you :Â
(ââŚAnd she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you needâŚâ)Â
âSalt, tequila, and lemons.âÂ
______________________________________________
Iâm so mad the Tumblr app crashed and I deleted the original post...Yâall were great and reblogged the hell out of it ! Which is why it got so many notes in such a short span of times. And feedbacks. I havenât had that many feedbacks on a story in a long time. So just one last time and I wonât bother you with that again : Please, if you enjoyed this story, donât hesitate to reblog it and share it with others. People who donât follow me canât really find my stories anymore so...youâre a big help by spreading them. Itâs always very encouraging.Â
And if you got the time, feedbacks are always hella appreciated and always make my day a little brighter <3.Â
#Jason Todd x Reader#Jason Todd#Jason Todd imagine#Red Hood x Reader#Jaybird#Jay Todd#Jason Peter Todd#Best Robin#Fight me#Red Hood imagine#Red Hood fanfiction#Jason Todd fanfiction#Jason Todd reader insert#Jason Todd deserves more love#Red Hood reader insert#Jason Todd fanfic#Batfam#Batfamily#Batfam x Reader#Batfamily x Reader#Batfam imagine#Batfamily imagine#JASON TODD IS GREAT OK ?!
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Ep. 11:Â âDo you all think I am just floating over here with no one?â - Aimee
Amy A
Ben âšď¸. I didnât play too well with him and it was such a good blindside I couldnât resist. I wish him well and I just have a feeling Iâm next to goÂ
Olivia A
Okay umm we got Ben out but it turns out Kalle gave me a real idol? So I feel weird. The reason we began suspecting her of lying was because Hanuha people knew about Maddisonâs safety without power advantage and Kalle was literally the only person who couldâve told them. IDK!!
Aimee
Iâm just so tired of crying! Sarah tried to video chat and I just couldnât. No one knew I donât think that Ben and I were so close. Gaaaaah Iâm gonna miss him so much! He just helped me so much to stay sane in this game. The last thing I need is anyone seeing me as a big hot mess. I canât catch a break.Â
Sarah
From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo
Pedro A
when i actually thought i was at the bottom........THERES EVEN A LOWER BOTTOM...THAT IM IN RIGHT NOW......chille ben screwed us BIG TIME....we were in a great spot..i dont even know what to say at this point
Sarah
Wow. Okay. I didnât want to be a villain but here we are. I will post a video confessional soon but for now, the plan to vote out Ben actually worked. I called Maddison last minute and explained that Ben and Kalle were tight and were all over the place, playing both sides. Maddison found out that Kalle was a rat and was not being completely truthful and we both agreed on voting Kalle or Ben. We agreed on Ben because we thought Kalle was going to play her idol on herself.... turns out Ben was telling the truth in voting out Kalle to old Hanuha and Kalle actually gave Olivia a real idol. More to come... but for now I feel like a villain ahhh.Â
Kalle N.
Well I said that my only goal was to make jury and not go to the FTC so it looks like Ben really helped me achieve that. THAT FOOL REALLY FUCKED ME OVER ON HIS WAY OUT THE DOOR. This is fine. I will never let him forget that I've beaten him twice now and that's all that matters. Did not see this tribal coming at all. Can't wait to get voted out next
Najwah
If I learned anything today is that we tend to read in and over think and make up scenarios in our head. Ben was actually on our side all along? Who would have thought. All the bits and pieces he told us today just didn't add up and Cody said he was different and everyone was just quiet and Ben didn't talk in the group, he spoke to people individually. I don't really understand what just happened but we wasted so much energy speculating lmao. And now where the hell do we go from here? Cody has become so paranoid also. The minute Ben told him that those people will be writing his name he became soooo paranoid wtf. Then he WASTED an advantage and idol at tribal? Just bc he still didn't trust the plan. I'm starting to think that Cody just can't trust anyone or any process. I really think he needs to chill more. Be more low key. Just try to be calm. If you get voted out, it's not like you're going to die or something. It's just a game after all.Â
Aimee
Apparently tribe was getting too suspicious of how Ben and Kalle were so close. I still donât get why I had to be left out of the vote though? Why canât I get the respect to be told what is happening before the vote, so I have time to process my emotions and have my stuff together a little. https://immunityilol.tumblr.com/post/617448854807298048 Instead I get nothing. I get a call from Sarah right after Ben is voted out. Obviously I canât answer it because Iâm crying and no one knew I was super close to Ben. Iâm just so angry right now first Grae now Ben! IS MADDISON NEXT!? FUCK! Like Gah Iâm afraid to get close to anyone. But I just love getting to know people. I finally got to video chat with Maddison. Fucking loved it! She is great to talk to and great to have on this crazy skype isolation island. I need some interaction and realness right now. Ok Iâm totally drinking. Itâs hard enough to process all this nonsense sober. We will see what the next day brings.Â
Aimee
Sarah I really donât want us to end up like this Casanova music video. đ˘đ I guess everyone wants to blindside Aimee as a treat. I hope people got their jollies out of it. đ Allie X - Casanova feat VĂRITĂ https://youtu.be/YpVunjboAWg
Sarah
From last night.... https://youtu.be/EirlyVVXDKk
Sarah
Day 21 https://youtu.be/aYiGStuSKDA
Pedro A
Im afraid Kalle will throw me under the bus...just to stay this week cause shes on the bottom....and im also afraid that maddison and olivia will try to convince kalle to vote me out...instead ....since they are coming for me ...GOSHHH..i hate my life...i need immunity...CAN I LIKE HAVE IT?
Pedro A
okay so im excited to see everyone's answers to this challenge...THIS WILL BE INTERESTING...it will reveal a lot of people real thoughts ..IM READY FOR TEAAAA YALL
Najwah
I enjoyed my day today. I think it's the first time I was fully in the real world in 22 days. I'm playing a reckless game right now. There are so many layers in this game but after last night's tribal and learning that Ben was being legit, I just feel bad. I love Cody but he's definitely a loose cannon and can't play low key. Which is definitely bad for my game. He and Sarah are trying to push me into getting Amy on our side, but our relationship just isn't like that. I don't want to make her feel used. I like her. I really like her a lot. I like Sarah too. And Cody. I want to be friends with all these people IRL lol so I don't want to play against them or lie to them. This game just gets harder every time someone gets voted off tbh but I'm at the point where I feel like "if my plan works, then great", "if it doesn't, then whatever. I get to chill on panderosa and get to sleep more and actually spend time with my family and friends who I've been avoiding since this started lmao" Also, I'd be able to work again. I haven't got much work done urgh. I don't know whether my super idol is real. I'm curious to see what tonight's challenge will reveal. I am not going in with any syrategy
Cody wants to go for Kalle and Pedro coz they voted for him? I don't know, I think that's kinda silly and I'm not about revenge. You have to think rationally. And we have made a few irrational choices of late because people read into things. I still wish Ben hadn't told Cody that everyone was voting for him. That's how so much of yesterday's shit started. I have been so tired since yesterday. Tired of the scheming and overthinking and being paranoid over nothing urgh. Aimee also wants to call me after the challenge. I'm kinda scared tbh. I had a dream last night that Aimee killed me lmao this game is haunting me and giving me nightmares. Honestly, I'd be okay if anyone left wins this game. Okay except Kalle. She's the only one I've not interacted with and she just seems dodge idk. Maybe I'm still thinking about Zack's stupid analysis on people. Anyways.Â
Najwah
I'm happy for Maddison tbh. She deserved that. I just want to scream about Cody though? Why did Cody chop Aimee? Wtf. And that made Aimee chop Sarah before she chopped Amy or Maddison. I'm so confused. Ugh.Â
Maddison
Apparently I donât know much about this tribe. Yeet!
Pedro A
Villan of the season?....im honored...but bitter jury?...i didnt like that one..lol
Aimee
I chopped Pedro for Grae.Â
I chopped Olivia and haha sorry I got so nervous on here that I just chopped the final chop, even though that was savage as hell... I called her a goat and then chopped her right out of the game. Oops hahahahaha. When I watch this challenge back I look like the C word with a capital C.... And that word isnât âcartwheel.â I chopped Sarah for the Ben blindside. I chopped Amy for my mental health. I canât lose Maddison! Iâm so sick of being tortured that I truly am running out of fucks tbh. Just chop anyone, whatever. Why do I care...
Aimee
Ohhhh Najwah!!!! Donât worry about not telling me about the vote or accidentally calling me a goat because you didnât know the meaning. I think I would make a cute goat. https://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/615593098008035328 Love that you think Iâm actually âthe Greatest of All Time.â I adore you and our friendship đâ¤ď¸đ luv you girl!!! I know youâre truly being genuine unlike others. Iâm waiting for this game to tip in our favor so we can run with it. https://youtu.be/TGwZ7MNtBFU This MV is dedicated towards Najwah after Cody swooped in and stole my final 2 with her. No hard feelings; I have my own stuff to sort out after my man Ben was voted out. Iâm pretty confident you have a final 2 with Cody and I love that for you. đ§Ąđđ Iâm happy yâall got together and are strong with Sarah. But here I am. Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one? Just not playing the game and grazing my grass over here like a âgoat?â They really donât know how close I was with Ben and they got stupid lucky on that one. Iâm not as clueless as you all think... itâs in your best interest to reconsider. Also letâs not skip over the fact that Sarah and I both didnât get an answer on touchy subjects for âwho do you trust the most.â Yeah donât think I didnât peep that. đđđđđđđđđ Sarah didnât put me and I didnât put her. I put Maddison. Cody had 2 votes. Najwah and Sarah put him. Iâm not dense. I guess Sarah is cool with being that 3rd wheel. Loving the fact that apparently no one has been seeing me reaching across the aisle for damn DAYS trying to play with Maddison.... oh honey, oh girl...oh no no ... that was just Ben right? Yeah. My final 2 with Ben is gone so Iâm rogue and hoping I can get Maddison as far as possible with me. Also! Just letting you all know Iâm not a damn chump. Itâs SO OBVIOUS that Cody Najwah and Sarah have a fucking secret chat that theyâve been in since the beginning of all time, which included Zack. Youâve heard it here first folks. Oh and Iâve known this for at least a week or two. The tells are so blatant, but catch me pretending to have no idea. Iâm not the goat that you think I am, but I would LOVE you to continue to think of me of a goat and forgettable. If you knew what I was doing I wouldnât be allowed to get to the end. If Iâm on any players radars then that means I am doing a bad job. So, I absolutely loved what this challenge revealed. I know way more than people think I know, but I am playing up the ditzy card hardcore. I would much rather prefer to be a stealthy sniper that people think is not playing. Give me a chance to explain my game in the final tribal and you might regret that. I have been doing all the same moves as Ben and same exact strategy.... he gets called a big threat and blindsided and yet here I am with identical strategy and totally left alone and tbh a little disrespected but that works to my advantage. Perception is not reality! This could be everyoneâs biggest mistake and I honestly love it. I just want Kalle and Pedro out tbh. I got my big boobs and my positivity. Iâm mind strong and Iâm ready to get this. Your lady is never giving up. If you blindside me again it better be me that gets voted out. Otherwise youâre all in a world of fucking trouble... https://64.media.tumblr.com/0389c791f095d54973543b32d4414577/984582d2a107588c-89/s540x810/c10ec7b961de2fd3b693a886ea7385b04ed3d653.gifv
Najwah
I am still tired. LOL. Amy L still hasn't replied to me. I think she hates me right now and I burned the bridge with her, which I'm obviously sad about because it's the only bridge I really cared about? Like she's the only person who I was 100% sure about and we've always respected each others allegiance to their alliances. Anyway. What does it matter now? I'm going to let Cody and Sarah make a plan with this tribal scrambling. Oh Cody said the reason he chopped Aimees rope is because he didn't want her to win immunity again lmao so he rather chops someone in his own alliance wtf I can't get over that fatal mistake. That and playing the extra vote and idolđđ ugh and I think people assume I am his goat or something lmaooooo I absolutely adore Cody but I really hope he doesn't mess things up for himself. Sarah wants me to get coins for them to buy an immunity idol. Do I really want to waste 5 coins again on someone whose just going to get paranoid and play it? I don't know. I need to think on it.Â
Aimee
Welp I finally told my first lie in this game and hopefully itâs not my demise. I guess itâs my turn to be messy. Iâm still coping with Ben being gone. đđ˘đŤ Why the nut, did I tell Pedro I want him here. It was definitely too much alcohol and worried if he had another idol I would be the throw vote. Welp we will see if he throws that info all over the island. https://64.media.tumblr.com/d9f98e355c7e9229777fa982551cfd7e/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do7_250.gifv https://64.media.tumblr.com/d37a2b6f76f83c1beaca2ca2bac6bb72/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do3_250.gifv Iâve made peace with it though. This lady ainât stopping, but if this puts me in jury. Iâm honestly excited! Iâll finally get to talk to James, Grae and Ben again! And that makes my heart warm. âĽď¸Â
Pedro A
I'm probably going home tonight....kinda done with this.....I'm exhausted and emotionally drained from this experience.. I just wanna chill...at the end of the day its either me or kalle....so may the odds be in my favor!!
Najwah
I'm nervous about this vote. Apparently Maddison and co are willing to work with us to get Kalle out. I don't know how legit it is but I'm tired tonight and I just think I should do an early vote before people change their minds.Â
Amy A.
So we had the game yesterday and there was a question about âclosest Allyâ and no one chose me. Iâm not really bothered about everyone else except NAJWAH. She didnât choose me! I was the only one who chose her cos her name came just ONCE. Whoever she ended up choosing as her closest ally didnât even choose her. Itâs made me real life sad because I trusted her so much. Honestly, I didnât even think twice about putting her name down for closest ally. I havenât even spoken to anyone about tonightâs vote. Idk who Iâm voting for but I know itâs not her cos I promised her that. Thatâs the only reason. Maybe Iâm the one going home. I donât know.Â
Maddison
Letâs hope for a straightforward vote tonight with no unforeseen twists!
Aimee
https://youtu.be/m4Z0RN_KhK0 A flow mobz - thrill over fear (feat. luna blake) Omg I couldnât sleep last night and I just woke up being bitchy about Pedro. I donât think he actually has anyone besides maybe Kalle. My walls are up and I just want this vote to work in my favor and be Kalle. I hope there are no hard feelings after this game. I just want to get to know everyone during all this covid madness and have some fun. đ
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unfiltered rambling (this is a (long) vent post; cw for some irl death mentions, sui and self harm mention (nothing in reality), bad mental health time, all that jazz
well itâs 7:30 am and ive been awake since 4 am. which is an improvement really. i slept at 12:30am ish, in contrast to constantly sleeping at 8 am or later the past month or so. and itâs been taking a very bad toll on me lately mentally. everything has been building up and probably toyinâs death (yes the one who was found dead, we were classmates in middle/high school...) was my breaking point as i had a very bad panic attack a few days after. that lasted a good 22 hours before i fully calmed down. it always takes me 5-9 hours to calm down from anxiety or trauma related bad times as i have no real coping mechanisms and i will just literally do nothing but stay huddled up in bed until the unbearable feeling goes away. but that one. was just really bad. i think i also accidentally upset one of my best friends before that which also attributed to it (weâre fine now.) itâs been a bit since i had that panic attack but i still feel so bad all the time. sometimes i joke about wataru giving me chest pain bc i love him so much but i feel like i havent experienced physical emotion in so long i just want to feel it even if itâs painful. i dont self harm so dw about that btw. but i rarely shed even a single tear anymore when ive always been a total cry baby. i only cry full on tears and sobs now when im being over stimulated during a conversation. i just genuinely want to feel physically excited or happy or sad or whatever. i want to feel physical emotion again and not just numbness with an occasional laff or on the verge of getting watery eyes but not even real crying or whatever.Â
i also had to get a new phone bc my dumb clumsy self dropped my phone flat on the screen a second time and it was unrepairable which makes me sad bc i only had this phone for two years and it still ran perfectly well. i wanted to keep it for 3-4 years at least...i got a new one ordered yesterday and im splitting price with my dad n i just feel bad i had to get a new one at all bc because of covid and shit my parents are only getting half the usual business and we already dont make a ton. thankfully my parents and sister are the type to not spend recklessly in general (i am prob the biggest spender...) but that wont stop my dumb of ass generalized anxiety disorder from making me worry about bankruptcy or poverty or some other extreme. i hate it bc i cant do anything about these thoughts except just what feels like sitting in mud and i slowly sink in. i wish i was an artist with more clout because i desperately want to be have consistent (or any) income. even before covid i always feel bad about not having a job. ik itâs hard to balance school and work anyway so itâs fine if im not working but it sucks. american college is a scam. at least i didnt go to an art school. (well. i am in art program in college. but not going to an arts dedicated school like ringling. which is significantly more expensive. if i went to art school id be significantly more likely to end up in very heavy debt) but i hate having gad. i hate not having any real coping mechanisms. i feel frustrated and a little annoyed when i asked about coping mechanisms for my anxiety with my therapist she just told me breathing exercises. which ig can be valuable but ik in my heart this wont help me at all. perhaps itâs un-dxâd adhd with rsd making me feel that way that makes me refuse to even want to do them. all my medical and health issues are also a contribution to my gad and financial terrors. sometimes it makes me wanna die but i wont do that. bc my friends and family would genuinely be very heartbroken if i were to suddenly be gone especially if by my own hand. i wouldnt want anyone to blame themselves either...
the only things genuinely making me feel anything lately is wataru and buck tick. it almost makes me a little upset how little amount of things make me happy or even feel anything rn. im reading a tragedy visual novel rn (which is very good and well written and i generally like tragedies and i find them indulgent) that i am enjoying very much yet i feel barley anything while reading it. i immensely miss the buck tick concert streams so bad. watching them over the month and half they streamed every saturday morning really put how much they love making music and performing in a brand new light to me, and watching that last concert bestias locus solus was just. so amazing. i dont know how to talk about it other than i was genuinely touched. they went all out playing at that concert stage bc it was their first time performing there (at the time in their 31 year career, 33 this year) and the unplugged performances and sakura especially got me so hard. im not good with words so im not doing a good job at all expressing how much that concert (along with the day in question 2017) made me feel. i miss it. i want to buy the dvds so bad but theyre so expensive and now is not a time for reckless spending. but one day i will attain them and experience the happiness they bring me again. im sad my friends arent rly into them the same degree i am but ig it really is such a personalized feeling. i was already in a state of dread and depression when i got into the band. but im still glad my other friends enjoy them and tell me they enjoy their music. their stuff slaps. theyre just an amazing band. a band not restricted by genre. a band who makes music because they love it and love performing and love their fans and dont get warped in the ideas of fame or fortune, and are fully okay with being normal people...a band with the same line up since their pro debut in 1989 because the members all love and care about each other so much. theyre still going strong in their mid to late 50s as they were in their late teens. they make me so happy...
well itâs 8 am now and if youve read this whole thing, thanks i guess? that sounds rude, but im just kinda sittin in the mud. im still in the midst of cleaning my room. i am not someone to recklessly hurt myself or anything like that so dont worry about that. iâll be fine. probably. if you wanna listen to buck tick heres their spotify :) i recommend their albums atom miraiha no. 09, no.0 (especially the live performance version), kuratta taiyo, darker than darkness style 1993, aku no hana, and their kemonotachi no yoru/rondo double single. they slap so good. also spotify is missing literally like 15 years worth of their music from the 00s-10s. you can find downloads online though. theyre also releasing a new single in august im very excited for it. also, the singer of the band (atsushi sakurai) did a collab with sheena ringo where he sung the bg vocals of her song elopers, which was also made in sakuraiâs image and she got it really dead set on tbqh. sheena ringo loves bt so yall should too :)
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ok so i have lots of things to say so im just gonna put it all in one post. its how school has been going, how my relationship w caleb is going, my rpdr pre season rankings, my thoughts on bbcan5 even though i havent watched a single episode, and my progress in botw
so first its school. so i literally failed my orgo test yesterday. i gave up on the last 2 synthesis questions bc i just didnt know what to do so thats like 30 points off right there. i most likely got this other synthesis and a mechanism question wrong so honestly i prob got like a 50. he drops the lowest test grade so i just need to step it up after this but like...rip. i studied but i got all the reactions and reagents and stuff mixed up in my head bc theres so many different things yet theyre all super similar so i just couldnt keep the information straight. so rip to my gpa this semester i guess
today sociology was cancelled so i just had psych and anatomy. i fell asleep in psych and anatomy was boringÂ
so today i had a date w caleb and it was v nice. BUT he asked if we could bring leeann along again!!! like wtf its been not even a week since that disaster of a date and you already want to bring her again??? like he really just does not get it smh but i said yes bc i didnt want him to think i was being difficult. luckily she was busy so she couldnt come anyways
we had lots of fun in the park! he like undid my jeans and started playing w my dick while we were sitting on some concrete block and it felt like i was in one of those porn videos that take place in the woods or something. there was like no one else there obv
he did say one thing that really got me pissed though. and i didnt think too much of it at the time like i was kinda :/ but then when i got home and thought about it some more i got a little upset about it. he called me on the phone to talk as usual and i told him about it and he felt really bad about it. he didnt think much of it in the moment but after i told him it bothered me i could tell he felt really bad and honestly? good! i hope he did feel bad about it bc he was being a dick for absolutely no reason
also i found out the stuff with alex! and like its so weird bc caleb has previous interactions with like 4/6 of the other guys ive been with. so ya apparently they both worked at mpowerment together and caleb just didnt like him lol. so today alex sent me a friend request on fb and followed me on insta bc he found both bc hes friends with/follows caleb on both things. and caleb posted a pic of me on insta w a bf goal type quote but once again it was NOT a good picture of me!!! i looked sooooooo pale bc of the lighting and my facial expression idekÂ
so i saw alex liked the pic and THEN tonight during our phone call caleb told me that alex messaged him on fb asking if him and i were together and caleb was like yeah and alex didnt respond so caleb asked why he was asking and alex just replied with â...â like he really is cracked! idk if hes like offended or something but like idk why he would think he has any chance with me after ive literally ignored like at least 10 total texts/messages/etc from him! like smh every time i think hes finally given up he tries to come back into my life like it was a one night thing stay away! *naomi campbell/naomi smalls voice* check your asshole before you come and talk to me
so yeah. that all w that. caleb wants to take me to the movies on saturday for our next date. but also another issue im starting to have is that caleb is starting to talk a LOT about eating my ass and fucking which is getting on my nerves bc i told him that it will be a while before we get to fucking and he keeps bringing it up its like being w freddy all over again
anyways. heres my final rpdr s9 pre season rankings
KIMORA >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> aja > shea >>>>> valentina > eureka > peppermint > alexis > nina > jaymes > trinity > sasha = farrah > charlie
literally the only 3 i actually like and am interested in are the first 3. valentina i dont like that much but i feel like im gonna end up ironically liking her. the middle ones idc and sasha farrah and charlie get on my nerves. alexis was in my top 3 when the cast was first revealed but after seeing some other stuff on her idk i dont think i like her. aja moved up to second bc shes funny on twitter. kimora is my fave obv. shea i like but im kinda worried shes gonna get a boring edit
and now for bbcan5! the only bbcan season ive seen is 3 but i am officially team ika and gary! idk which one i like more but those are my top 2. sindy is 3rd karen is 4th and i guess cass is 5th. i didnt like her on s4 but from what ive seen this season i think i like her. idc about the rest. tbh i dont plan to watch a single episode i just want ika gary or sindy to winÂ
now for zelda botw. i just finished the vah medoh quest. so i have 2/4 divine beasts done and im going for the gerudo one next. im just hoping to finally find some cute armor in the gerudo town bc i am sick of only finding ugly clothes! for the map i think i just need 1 more tower to finish it. i also killed my first guardian today which was satisfying but not really bc i didnt even know what i was doing bc it all happened to fast lol. ive also been kinda reckless w my horses bc i wanna see what happens in one dies but they are resilient! my horse accidentally got hit w the blast from a bomb arrow when i was trying to hunt and it caught on fire and still survived! i dont wanna straight up kill it bc thats weird but i want one of these horses to die already! i feel like it would add some drama. so ya my main focus rn is just exploring while slowly doing the divine beast quests
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