#also i stalk some people on here and everytime they interact some posts that are like catered to them im like FUCK YESSS. im achieving a

[popppyfur]

happy new year !! I've only been here for a few months but I hope the interest lasts for at least 2026!! Its been really fun just making stuff about trolls and yapping my mouth off with the most random shit and still have at least one person leave a like on the post in question 😭 means a lot! Hope I can draw even more in 2025!!!

[nikomakii]

Not original spilled ink, but a vent. I'm sorry for the typos in advance. You may scroll away if you don't wanna read this.

I created this sideblog nikomakii: The Ink Graveyard for my original spilled ink. I've been on Tumblr for a decade now and this is the first time I had the courage to post some of my work. The blog's only a month old, and adding to the list of milestones is my first repost.

When I first got the notif that someone liked this post (see below), I was kinda excited because everytime someone liked or reblogged my post it's a confident boost for an aspiring writer like me because it meant that someone out there actually liked what I wrote.

But my heart dropped to my stomach when I checked their blog and saw that despite the warning, do not repost, they did it anyway and reposted my work as their own (see below). And it seems that they also reposted other people's works as well.

Now I'm not naive, not all people here in this hell site (both derogatory and affectionate) will honor your wishes but this is not cool : / I didn't confront the person behind this blog, because I don't know how they're gonna react and that's scary, there's a lot of dangerous people out there on the internet and you'll never know if the situation is going to escalate dangerously like they might dox me or worse, stalk me across my socials. So I just sighed in defeat, move on, and blocked them from interacting with my blog.

Instead of ruminating negatively on this, I would like to remind you why reposting is bad. Reposting is copying a post without the knowledge of the original poster, whether it's someone's poem, story, art, etc.; and then posting it on your blog and thus claiming it as your own. Not only this is shitty for you to do this but also people worked hard creating these works. As a writer, I know my fellow writers and even artists would relate to this when I say that everytime we create something, a part of our soul goes into that work. Reposting undermines the creativity of writers and artists, AND having our work stolen to be reposted on other blogs claiming them as their own work feels soul-crushing.

If you're new to Tumblr or you've been here for some time without understanding how it works, reblogging is how the algorithm shares your posts to other users of this site, and I encourage you to do this rather than reposting out of respect for your favorite writer or artist while sharing their work to others. Because without them, you won't be enjoying the stuff that appears on your dash. Yes, I'm not only talking about original writings and art, but also fanfics and fanart. They'd appreciate it and would hopefully want to stay on Tumblr uploading their works for others to enjoy instead of being scared and leave the platform out of fear that their hard work will get stolen.

Maybe someday I'll be confident enough to post my stories and poems here, but because of people who repost I'm scared that my most cherished pieces will be stolen. I still want to share my work out there and Tumblr provided that outlet so I'll start with my short OG spilled ink first.

TLDR: Reblog, DO NOT REPOST.

[kimistorm]

Dr. Strange x Reader || It’s All a Little Strange || Chapter 2

You had just clocked in for your shift and people were already running around with urgency. It wasn’t a surprise; it was the ER. What surprised you was someone yelling, “Doctor (l/n)! We need you stat!” You didn’t hesitate and dodged a nurse to run after the person who called for you.

“What is it?” you asked and he handed you a fresh pair of scrubs that were to be worn in the surgical room.

“Awful car accident.” He answered, “we can already tell he’ll be on the table for hours.”

You pulled your hair into a ponytail and put the hair net on, “anything else you can tell me?”

“I’m not really sure, I can tell you for certain that there’s awful nerve damage in the hands. Oh, and it’s Doctor Strange.” You almost stopped running altogether. How did he get into such an awful accident?

“That’s good to know.” You faltered.

“Here.” He stopped running and held open the door for you to enter the room.

                                                     ✯✯✯

You let out a huge sigh and fell back onto one of the chairs in the room. The nurse who called you was right, he was operated on for 11 hours. “Good job everybody.” You called out and received nods. He had pulled through. You were thankful that Daniel had made you skip out on training last night. After a moment you got up and exited the room.

“Oh my goodness (f/n).” Doctor Palmer had just passed you and stopped walking to approach you, “were you in there for all 11 hours?”

“Yeah.” You groaned and rubbed at your eyes.

“Come here, let’s get you some coffee. You’ll be clocking out soon right?” she asked and led you to the quiet break room away from the bustling ER.

“Mm-hmm.” You nodded, “good thing I don’t need to come in tomorrow.” You smiled.

“How was it? Is Stephen okay?” she asked in concern.

“He’s fine. He’ll make it through. I’m not sure if he can continue being a neurosurgeon though.” You shook your head. You may have hated his guts, but you did have sympathy for him. “Crazy nerve damage in his hands, I doubt he’ll heal enough to return to the sort of precision that’s required here.” After a moment you added, “eleven stainless steel pins in the bones.”

Christine sucked in a breath, “oh my goodness.”

“Physically he’ll be alright.” The two of you pushed open the door into the break room. The door closed behind you and it was immensely quieter. “I’m not sure how much his ego can take though.” You forced a smile.

“I don’t understand why the two of you are always at odds with each other.” She shook her head while you made yourself some coffee.

“I don’t fully understand myself.” You chuckled, “I mean, he practically is a celebrity. Most of what I know about him comes from the news. Plus, literally every interaction I have with him is suffocated by his ego.” Christine looked at you doubtfully, “no really. Everytime I’m in a room with him I can’t breathe because his ego fills up the room.” You joked and Christine laughed.

“I think I should get going, there’s probably someone in here who needs my help.” She stated and excused herself from the room.

“Bye Christine.” You called after her. You took the styrofoam cup from under the coffee maker and blew on the hot liquid. Things were going to be quieter with Stephen no longer around.

                                                    ✯✯✯

“How’s Strange?” you asked Christine. The two of you happened to pass each other and you couldn’t help but ask the question.

“We’ve,” she took a deep breath and stepped to the side of the hall, “we’ve had a fallout.”

“Oh.” You put a hand up to your mouth and also stepped back to give space for other people to pass by, “I’m so sorry Christine.” You knew that the two of them were quite close, and Christine really cared about Stephen.

“It’s alright.” She forced a smile, “he always was an arrogant prick.”

You frowned as your words came out of Christine’s mouth, you couldn’t say that you were pleased by this new development. “Is he still around?” you asked.

“I don’t know.” She shook her head, “he was in PT, but he’s just disappeared.” You nodded to try and console her. “I best be off.” Christine stated after a moment of silence and she disappeared behind a corner.

That’s how it was for the next few weeks. No news at all of Doctor Stephen Strange. You took every opportunity you could to go to Kamar-Taj and the hospital functioned as normal. Everything was normal.

“Hey Daniel.” You waved to said person and entered the Sanctum, “how are you doing?”

“I’ve been doing well.” He nodded.

“Things have been quiet I presume?” you questioned and he nodded again. “Man, this must be the most boring job in the world.” You noted and looked around the large, dimly-lit sanctum as if it was your first time ever being in it.

“It’s quiet.” Daniel agreed, “have you gotten any luck with the relics?”

You hung your head, “no.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Daniel put a reassuring hand on your arm, “perhaps you can wander around here one day and see if one of the relics takes a liking to you.”

You laughed a little, “I doubt the Ancient One would be pleased to hear that I was going relic shopping.”

“What she doesn’t know can’t hurt her.” Daniel suggested.

You laughed again, “I’ll see you around Daniel.” You held out your hand and drew out the sparkling portal.

“Remember what I said (f/n).” He called after you and you stepped through the portal into Kamar-Taj. You appeared in the entranceway and you made your way through the building and passed through the main sitting area.

“(l-l/n)?” you looked around for the source of the voice. At first you were confused. Who was this hobo who was looking at you as if you were supposed to know him? How did he get into Kamar-Taj? Then you recognized him.

“Oh no no no no no.” You squeezed your eyes shook your head. When you opened them and saw that he was still there you demanded, “why in the world are you here!” you shook your head and paced furiously around the room, “you’re not supposed to be here! Of all people it had to be you.” You spat at him. “Who let this arrogant prick in here?” you shouted and pointed at said arrogant prick.

“I did.” Mordo stepped forward and raised his hand. “The Ancient One threw him out awhile ago, but I convinced her to let this one back in.”

“You should’ve listened to The Ancient One.” You shot back at Mordo.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Strange scrambled up to his feet, “did you get into an accident too? Are you here for healing?”

You crossed your arms gave him a once over, “no.”

“Then what are you doing here?” he continued to question.

You frowned then answered icily, “I’m a sorcerer, I’ve come to spar with some people.”

“No way.” Strange’s face look stupefied but then morphed into a smirk, “you-no way.”

You scowled and formed a fiery whip in your hand and hit his leg with it. He winced and grabbed at the spot where he was hit. “Watch your mouth Strange. In this place, I’m higher up than you.” You continued with scorn and looked down at him before you stalked out of the room.

“You know him?” Mordo asked as he came up beside you.

You scoffed, “yeah I know him. Doctor Stephen Strange, arrogant, egotistical, just an all around prick.” You stopped in front of the wooden door to your room, you needed to change. “There’s no way he’ll survive long here.” You told the door but you knew Mordo was still behind you and was listening to your words, “he’s too rooted in science.” You knew you were being unnecessarily rude to Mordo but you were livid. So you opened the dark door and closed it behind you without a backwards look.

Masterlist (Originally posted in 2018)

[trinity-xp]

Who are some of your Favorite people here on Tumblr ?

Hohohohhooh this will be a long post

@paimania : First up is Pai. For starters she’s like, the nICEST PERSON IN THE WORLD- she’s so fun to talk to and everytime we chat is just a blast! Even though it’s short because suck at keeping a conversation going LMFAO- I’ve known Pai for like... 2 years now, and I can say that she’s just an amazing friend to have, I remeber when she proposed the idea of a collaboration between her AU and my OCs, best moment of my social media life, it really changed everything for me. Thank you Pai

@jordanthecat11 : Jordy is just a big mush of sweETNESS, literally she’s just AMAZING- I met her through Pai since she was Pai’s main contributor to BATMC. It was awkward at first, but as we got to know eachother I say from my point of view I got really comfortable talking with her! Not only that she is like...so caring. So. Very. Caring. There will be times where I’m not feeling to well, and she takes the time to send me a message on discord to check up on me. I look up to her a lot, she so talented and creative and just overall the kind of friend you want to have. ❤️

@ros-doodles : Ros was the third person I met on tumblr. And the first person (besides Pai and Jordy) to interact with one of my OCs, Raziel. At first I got a wave of anxiety mainly because long before I actually existed on my tumblr acc, I would look at her art and be really inspired. She was an artist I really looked up to and I was so shocked when she commented on one of my posts saying she wanted to interact with Raziel. Not only that we started to talk on discord and..can I just say she is the most understanding person ever? Like really this girl is so gentle, sweet, soft, and just a precious bean who I will protect forever. I think the one flaw that she has tho is that she won’t admit sheS A FUCKING GOOD PERSON. Because she’s stubborn as hell and I need to smack some loving sense into her every now and then.

@wushfo : Fourth person I met on tumblr, gotta day this girl is weird.

..weirdly amAZING- SHES FUNNY AS HELL! She makes me smile and laugh so much! First time we met I was super shy and shocked that she actually started talking to me. I remember our first rp together, it was the thing that got me into rping in the first place. She messages me whenever she can to brighten my day, even if I’m upset, and hands me advice when I need it. She’s just an amazing person to be around and i love each and every one of her OCs to bits, love you BICH-

@sibuhleen : At first me and Sib didn’t know eachother too well mainly because I only knew her through Pai, it wasn’t until we did an art trade when we started to talk more often! I have to say, SHOW THIS GIRL SOLE LOVE AND RESPECT BECAUSE SHES SO GODDAMN AWESOME! Literally, she may not think it but she’s so fun to be around. I love her very much, and I don’t get to talk to her as often because I don’t want to bother her, she has a life outside of tumblr after all! It makes me feel so warm inside knowing that she likes my OCs just as much as I love hers, and whenever we talk it always brings a smile to my face. And sib you may or may not read this, but I will always be here if you need to talk❤️ love you gurl!!

@mythical-things : I met Myth last May, and it’s been one of the greatest things thats ever happened to me. She’s truly just...an amazing girl whos gifted with so much talent. She’s one of the people I really look up to when it comes to art. Each of her OCs and stories are unique, and I strive to become a better artist like her! AlsO-- I like rLLY LOVE ALL THE ART CHAINS WE DO!! its so fun to bring the stories we've come up with to life, and seeing it all pay off is just amazing. IM happy that you enjoy the shit that we do, and I just wanna say to sTOP BEING A HYPOCRITE SOMETIMES. Also, She works really hard in what she does and I’m proud and happy to call he one of my best friends. Lately she’s been feeling a bit down, but that’s ok, I’m here for you Myth! I send my everlasting love ❤️ I love all the times we talk and ramble and rp, the stories we come up with are so much fun to mess around with (aswell as the shitposts-) and i just ant you to know how much you make me happy💕💕

@jsweetsdraws : The Meme to describe Me and Jess is “I’ve only known Jess for a month, but if anything were to happen to her I’d kill everyone in this room, and then myself,” because I WOULD. LIKE HOLY SHIT THIS GIRL IS A BEACON OF SUNSHINE! She works so hard, despite some things that she’s been through. I love all of her OCs and artwork, her style is just so niCE lookin ;) not only that she’s so sweet and funny, and I love staying up for hours with her talking about stories and OC interactions, it really makes my schooldays a lot better than how they are ❤️❤️ and if anyone screws with her I wiLL FITE THEM. BAK OFF BITCHES IM HER PROTECTOR!

@nolalistra : I don’t talk much with Nol, but god her OCS are so damn pretty. Not only that her personality is so damn pretty. I can say how much she really inspires me. The stories she created are so interesting! And honestly she’s like super chill, and super great. Like she’s the kind of person you can be open with and feel comfortable when talking with her. Normally I’m a anxious and paranoid person, but with her? Nope, I’m 200% comfortable. Love u BOI-

@alavidere : I just met Al, but I can already say that she’s like.. fuckin FANTASTIC. Literally, she’s really sweet and her personality just embodies candy and everything nice in the world. Once again, she’s another artist I will stalk for hours, her anatomy is just 😔👌 and her OCs are 👀❤️ it surprises me that she likes my shit too! Never thought that would happen bUT hERE WE ArE- Also I have no idea how she’s able to stay so committed and productive with her drawings- heck she’s running a full on webcomic by herself and idk how- teach me your ways talented beAN- AND I HOPE I CAN GET TO KNOW YOU MORE ASWELL!! >:VVV❤️❤️❤️

Also fun fact, I knew each and every one of you before you knew I existed. I remember when I was younger id scroll through your blogs and see all this good aSS artwork and id be like “these are my idols-” HAHAHA 

[idiotsfc]

35, 36, 37

35. Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year?

Hmm..I guess a lot of people on here. I met wonderful people on here this year and they all became very important. You became important to me. We don't interact often but when we talked it was so wonderful. And I felt save telling you things I didn't tell other people. And I'm very thankful for this!💞

@up-the-spurs she became one of my closest friends this year. And I'm so thankful for her. She's an amazing girl and I love her so much. We used to talk more but everytime we talk it's like I knew her for ages. She's just so wonderful and she also has a beautiful name 😂💞

There are more who were/are very important. @the-place-to-sparkle cami, my special girl on here 🖤 @dancefaeries Emma, one of the first blogs I follwed and still one of my faves. She's so wonderful and even though I don't really talk to her. She's important to me and I love her. @trentalexanders Mila, in the last few weeks she became so important. And I love her. I wish her all the best and I wish we would talk more. Because girl you're so amazing 😍 @giirlinterrupted oliwia, my absolute Tumblr crush. I don't know why and how it happened but I just fell in love with her and her blog.😍💕💞 @aguerofc Jada, the girl I only message when I'm drunk because I'm too shy to talk to her when I'm sober hahahaha I love you babe 💙💙💙 @shockingtha Alice, she's an angel on earth and she deserves nothing but the best. @ericdiersneck callie, she's so amazing and wonderful and nice and lovely. And I'm in looooooove with her writing 😭😍 @sendinthehuskies Allana, she was very important to me, especially earlier this year. She kind of made me love myself more. And even though she doesn't know it, she made me realise things about myself and I'm thankful for this. 💕

And of course my best friend. Who "secretly" stalk my Tumblr and confronts me with my embarrassing posts about threesomes. Love you Sarah 🖤🖤🖤

36. Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year?

If I'm honest. There are a lot of people in my real life. Some showed me that they never really cared and that the friendship we had wasn't "real".

37.If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?

Hmm.. for my heart I wouldn't fall for someone on the internet. Because it gave me nothing but heartache. But I guess the heart wants what it wants..

I'm drunk and I don't know if I understand this question... I'm sorry I'm done... 😂 I think I answered it wrong. 😔😂

[infinitiesofbooks]

Me rambling about S3 and being an emotional mess

Okay, I have feelings and I need to talk about them. This is not a constructive analysis or anything this is just me talking about SOME of my favorite clips from season 3 of Skam France because it's the end and i'm emotional.

I knew this season would be awesome from the second I saw the trailer.It was genius and I still watch it sometimes because wow.I love that we saw the I saw you the first day of school scene. I love that we were all fooled into believing it was Lucas. Because he's the main and i also think because of the clothes, that's something Isak could wear. But little did we know they were making their own thing.

"T'es pas comme les autres" + adding to this the minute par minute talk

Skam is a very emotional show, with very emotional scenes but I didn't cry cry as much as everyone did. And it's okay obviously. I teared up, thought I was going to die because of the pain, internally sobbed during the whole season. (For me it's 50/50 or I cry a LOT or I just can't because I just have too many emotions and my body is just dying, but it doesn't diminish the pain oh no) But the only two times where I really really really cried were during T'es pas comme les autres and the minute par minute talk. For mpm, I was expecting it. This is my favorite quote of the Skam universe, I use it everyday and it really helped me dealing with mental illness. I knew hearing it in my native language would wreck me. I was tearing up during the whole clip but I just bursted into tears when Lucas said it.

But I was not expecting the "T'es pas comme les autres" clip. I remember watching it, sobbing, thinking what the hell is happening to me. It's a mixture of Lucille's speech, the piano music (i tear up everytime i listen to it) and the images of Eliott. this.was.too.much.for.me. But I love this clip with all of my heart, and I cry as much everytime I rewatch it but I love it.

The piano scene

This scene. This freaking scene. It's unique,it's beautiful, it's a masterpiece. I have a thing with piano, it always gets me emotional and it's my favorite instrument, and I listen to piano music every day.But.this. this was incredible. And it's a scene nobody expected and wow it had so much impact. I can't find the words about how much I love this scene. And I won't ever be able to forget the T'es Suprenant. I remember not being able to sleep after this scene because I couldn't get over it.

Intervention

This is one of my favorite clip. First the acting, Axel how how how? I also love how it's as much as a sad clip as an hopeful one. Yes, it's sad but Mika and Manon are here for Lucas, he finally has support, and it's the clip where things are changing , Lucas starts accepting himself in the next clip and it's beautiful. And also some things that were said in this clip hit me so strongly and I think about them everyday.

Viens on en parle pas

god. Manon coming to Lucas? Her crying ? Him conforting her? And then when he started to cry my heart broke. This was powerful and I'm so glad this clip exists.

Also I didn't talk about Le premier, Combien de Lucas dans l'Univers, the painting/fucking, french o helga natt,not because I don't love them, because I freaking do, they're in my top 10,or even 5 clips (especially combien de lucas, if I did a top 3 it would be here with the piano scene and T'es pas comme les autres (this clip did something to me okay?) and the parallel universe talk with the music behind always get me so so so so emotional and tearing up) but because I've already talk so much about them and said pretty much everything I wanted to say.

Special mentions to Eliott following Lucas on instagram. So many of the instas udpdates are pure gold, so so so many, but I don't think I freaked out more in my entire life than the day Eliott followed Lucas. I literaly went home walking because I had too many feelings and needed to calm down.

Also a little list of my fav things from watching S3

-Lucas & the girl squad. Every. Single. Interaction.

-the millions french words the international fandom is now saying (please don't use them in french class)

-moi c'est Eliott + I can still remember Maxence and his chocolates bars on his insta story being so excited about the clip

-Lucas stalking Eliott

-the whole foyer subplot

-P. O. L. A. R. I. S

I got so emotional over a gifset the other day with the first kiss and O helga natt with the polaris quote

And the fandom becoming astronomers

-Alexia being a bisexual queen

-the dubstep is still making me laugh especially Lucas listening to it and saying he's into it to Chloé

-the unsubtleness. cf : how would you draw me

-Lucas and the marks on his cheeks during the foyer party

-i have an unhealthy obsession with the call your girlfriend scene, seriously, how many times can i watch a clip before it gets weird? Also when the music change when Eliott looks up ahhhhh

-Pas forcément une meuf (and the whole I want to be in a relationship thing ), I have a tattoo appointment to put this on my forehead.

-The whole Grillé clip was gold

-I love Pecholand too, it's so funny to rewatch because ahhh we knew it. Also just Lucas's voice when he's changing the subject from Eliott to something else. Everytime I watch it, I have this feeling, you know, when someone or something is brought up and you start panicking a little inside and you try to stay calm and like nothing is affecting but you're still trying to change the subject. It's a very specific feeling and he NAILED it, the tone of his voice is exactly exactly this.

-The beginning of Phase de Latence (ending ?? What ending?? This clip ends when Lucas steps out of the classroom)

-Emma and her lava lamp. Emma, my love. I see so much of me and my friends in Emma, and the more we have the more I love her. She just seems so real to me.

-The Isak reference

-Arthur&Basile + Daphné + Yann + Imane reaction and talk after Lucas coming out

-the J'ai tué ma mère ref. I knew it. I wanted it. They delivered. Thank you.

-the reaction to the mural monday morning omg. I really thought they were going to repaint it after. But these idiots didn't and they didn't even try denying anything. And I would have bet Daphné would have killed them but I'm glad she loved it.

-Eliott + Imane

-The boy squad Fangirl™ Moment to Elu. I wanna tattoo their faces on my face.

-Them hanging out in the park. This felt so nostalgic to me. It's exactly how I spent my 1ère afternoons in high school, lying in the grass with my friends, reading, talking and it's some of my best memories.

-Elu shotgunning omg

-Emma Manon and Lucas drunk = incredible

-Basile speechs and supporting Boy Squad

-Lucas and his mom AND THE FREAKING PIANO WHEN HE WROTE THE TEXT

-Him defending the mural, Imane being a queen and then Daphné after too

-Leave a light on hahahaha

-the realness of J'ai pas besoin de toi (just wanted to say, i'm still singing Joyce Jonathan every time, just because of the title, not any signification)

-Lucas and Eliott being THAT annoying couple

-All the drawings

-Raccons and hedgehog

-the acting. I just can't see Axel and Maxence, no matter how hard I try (i just tried it for the sake of this point and I just can't, they don't exist when filming)

-David making me cry with his instagram posts

-every single update from instagram

-David changing his profil pics and the fandom loosing it

-the scarf™

-Just everything the cast did. I could make a whole separate post for that.

-Wednesdays

-All the times we were fooled

-THE FREAKING JE T'AIME I'M STILL NOT OVER IT

-Eliott counting the minutes he's been appart from Lucas in the last clip, that dork

I feel like i'm forgetting so so many things, but I can't write down everything, especially the fandom stuffs and how much we freaked out over everything, and all the debates and theories but this has been my favorite part

I'm so glad for this season, and it had been an incredible ride. I also think i would not be this attached to it if I didn't discuss the clips with everybody on tumblr everyday. Thank you. You all made this special.

I wanted to start tagging people but the list was getting way way way too long and I'm afraid to forget someone and also the less people see my rambling the better it is. But if we talked even once,or if we’re mutuals, or If I liked your posts or you liked mine, i love you. So i'm just gonna thank my two friends I talk everyday with.

@praecise we've been talking since the beginning of the season and I'm so glad i was on that ride with you, you're the best

@aspewofnonsense we started really talking only after but i'm so so glad we did and i can't wait to meet you in may

I'm a really nostalgic person and I hate endings, and even if it's also a beginning because you bet i'm gonna follow S4 with the same energy ( I was already so hyped just by seeing Imane at the end of the last clip) , it's the end of Lucas pov and I will forever miss him. And seeing everybody in the tag saying goodbye and thank you to our boy ahhhh. Watching this season was an unique experience and it was so special. But i can't believe this is over. This morning i was listening to music when Remember attacked me without my consent and i started full on sobbing. The whole day i felt almost sick because i knew it was the end, in my last class i was really really feeling bad i couldn't do anything. But after the clip i was sad but also so much happy. I'm so thankful for this season and for Lucas's story.

(Also after the last clip, i was sitting on the ground in the train watching the landscape through the windows as the sun was setting, thinking about everything ,poetic cinema right there)

This afternoon I was like I should be less dramatic. But fuck it, I like being 300% invested in this. Being inside a fandom is my favorite thing.

I feel like I could never say everything I want to say, but (i was listening to music and my song just say i just wanna say thank you as I was writing this yes that's exactly this song) I just wanna say thank you. <3

[court-of-abs]

“Maybe Tomorrow” (Elorcan Fanfic) [Chapter 6]

Here she is ducklings. I’m a horrible human being, I know. I’m gonna try to get chapter 7 done by this Friday. I’M GONNA TRY. Also, If you want to be added to the “tag list” for all of the following chapters, just comment on this post or message me! Hope you ducklings enjoy chapter 6 :)

Chapter 5 | Chapter 7 

Tag List:

@high-lady-of-perranth @addled @bibliophileinnightcourt @bluephoenix222 @colbelike @zorpher @highladyofthedark @empire-of-readers

“Why did you let them come” Lysandra groaned, leaning her head back into the pillows and splaying her arms out over the couch. She let the empty wine bottle fall to the floor.

“Technically I invited the school, and, as much as we might hate it, they are apart of the school.” Aelin was completely serious now as if she hadn’t drunken anything at all. Lysandra groaned again and rose up from the couch.

“If I can acknowledge that they’re here, then I’m not drunk enough” Lysandra declared, and with that she sassed over to the kitchen and morphed into the crowd of people in search of more alcohol. Just as Lysandra disappeared into the crowd, they walked in.

At the forefront was Fenrys, his arm around the beautiful dark-haired girl in their group. Essar was her name, if Elide remembered correctly. Her and Fenrys were easily some of the most beautiful people Elide had ever seen. Connall, Fenrys’ beautiful dark-haired twin followed right behind them alongside Gavriel and a quiet man with short brown hair. Elide couldn’t remember his name.

Much to Elide’s surprise, Aelin had a giant smile plastered on her face that was every ounce genuine as she waved them all over.

“Fen! Essie!” Aelin called. Both of the persons questions turned towards Aelin and mirrored her smile, making their way through the crowd of people with ease.

“Aelin you know how to throw a party!” Essar said, laughing as she plopped down on the couch right in the spot Lysandra had just been.

“I wouldn’t have thrown one if I didn’t know how to” Aelin purred, her grin growing mischievous. Essar only laughed.

“Room for me ladies?” Fenrys said, hands on his hips as he surveyed the coach. But as Fenrys attempted to fit himself between Aelin and Rowan, Rowan gave him such a pointed look that Fenrys had the right idea to back away.

“Where’s my favorite green-eyed beauty?!” Essar yelled out, her hands cupped around her mouth to accentuate her voice. Elide wouldn’t be surprised if Essar had had a drink or two before coming to the party.

“Getting more alcohol” Aelin said, but her smile was tight as she talked about Lysandra; there was probably something between the two. Essar pouted at that. She stretched her arms out and splayed herself over the couch, her head resting in Aelin’s lap. Elide’s eyes darted between everyone.

She was completely, utterly, confused.

“Everything is a lot more complicated than it seems” a voice whispered in her ear. Elide nearly jumped out of her seat. She whipped her head around behind her to see who the voice was and was met with a laughing Nox.

“Nox you nearly scared me half to death!” Elide whined, hand clutched above her heart. Nox just kept laughing and turned his attention towards the opposite coach where Aelin was sitting.

“Most of the cadre is either friends with Aelin, or doesn’t mind her at all” Nox said, his attention fixed on Aelin. Elide turned towards her as well, watching Essar laugh at something Aelin had said, Fenrys probing Rowan every chance he got and dancing out of the way everytime Rowan made a move for him. Even Dorian, sprawled in the chair opposite Elide, Chaol’s head laying lousily on his shoulder, was contributing to the conversation, talking lightly with Connall and calling over to Aelin every now and then. They talked to each other with such ease and grace and familiarity.

Something Elide had never had.

“It’s kind of blinding, isn’t it” Nox whispered. He was sitting on the edge of her chair now, watching them interact with an almost predatory manner.

“Yeah” Elide said mindlessly. She wouldn’t try to process what Nox had said, not today. She was too busy staring at all of them, taking in their dynamic. I could be a part of that Elide thought to herself. But at the same time, Elide felt like couldn’t. Because she wasn’t.

“Where’s the pitbull?!” Aelin yelled, her question directed at the cadre in its entirety. Elide scrunched her brow, looking over the Cadre members. Was someone not there? The twins were, so was Gavriel and the other brown-haired boy - Vaughn was his name, she remembered. Essar was still sprawled on the couch, but no longer layed on top of Aelin. It suddenly hit Elide like a bullet.

Where was Cairn, the boy Nox had told her to keep an eye out for? And Remelle, Maeve’s blonde side-kick? Where was Lorcan?

Where was Maeve herself?

Nox shifted next to her, perhaps realizing the same thing just as she did. Doubtful. He’d probably already realized they weren’t there. Aelin’s rival, Elide’s rival, hadn’t shown up to the party.

“Had stuff to do” Fenrys replied nonchalantly, taking a sip out of a red cup that hadn’t been in his hand a second ago. Dorian waved his hand at that, but Aelin didn’t seem to like his answer.

“Fenrys” she said, warning laced in her tone. She even look over to Essar, silently asking her for the answer she wanted. Essar only avoided her gaze. Aelin looked like she was about to say something, but Rowan beat her to it.

“Where’s Lorcan, Fenrys. Remelle? Cairn?” Rowan ground out, his voice growing colder with each word.

As if on cue, a whistle went through the crowd again, the same sequence of notes that had sounded before. And then, for the second time that night, the cadre walked in.

Remelle was wearing even less clothing than Elide. Cairn had her attached at the hip, his eyes roaming over everyone in the room. And Lorcan lead them both. He had always been over a foot taller than everyone, Elide especially, but now, with a tight black shirt and fitted jeans, he looked twice everyone’s size too. She felt like a doll compared to him.

Rowan bristled as Lorcan’s gaze briefly met his. Rowan’s expression was so cold that Elide couldn’t read anything off of him. She knew that face. She used to wear that face everyday of her life - sometimes still. There was history there.

Cairn pushed past Lorcan as they walked into the room Elide was situated in, haphazardly dragging Remelle along.

“Hello Cairn” Aelin said, rising from her seat on the couch and taking a few steps towards him. Cairn snarled at her, actually snarled at her. Remelle looked so disturbed by Aelin’s presence that it seemed like she wanted to vomit. Lorcan looked impassive, arms crossed over his chest to reveal the muscles underneath.

“Aelin” Cairn merely said, his voice rough. He was taking in the rest of the cadre, Essar sitting with Rowan, and Fenrys standing between them all. Both Essar and Fenrys quickly moved towards Vaughn & Gavriel who were leaning on the wall. Aelin watched their movements as well and sighed.  

Much to everyone’s surprise, Aelin only gave Cairn a smile, ingenuine and malicious, but a smile, and waved her hands to gesture to the party going on around them.

“Enjoy the party” she said, that wicked smile still adorning her face. Cairn ignored Aelin entirely and instead nodded at the other cadre members leaning against the wall. He started walking back into the crowd of people, his arm still firmly around Remelle. Vaughn quickly followed Cairn, not even bothering to glance back at Aelin or any of the others. Fenrys waved them all goodbye, even bowing at Elide like he had the first day of school during gym. Gavriel gave Rowan a quick handshake, but then he was off, Connall close on his heels as he gave Chaol and Dorian one last goodbye.

Essar was the only one left then, her expression held reluctance to follow them, but the war waging in her mind quickly came to an end as she lowered her head and slowly began to follow where the rest of the cadre had gone. Not before she looked up at Lorcan though, to find his gaze boring into hers. They shared a look, one that had Essar straightening just a little. She then ripped her gaze away from him and stalked into the crowd of people. Lorcan followed after her, grabbing a cup from one of the party members, chugging it all down in one go, and then morphing into the crowd as well.

The only thing that Elide could think of in that moment, however stupid it might sound, was that Lorcan hadn’t looked over to her at all.

It had been over an hour since the “encounter” with the cadre, and the party had only grown in size. Elide had talked quietly with Nox for a good 30 minutes or so after the cadre had dispersed, but then he himself had bid her goodbye and faded back into the crowd of people. She wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t see him for the rest of the night.

Elide tapped her foot restlessly on the floor as she leaned back in the chair. She was half tempted to go spend the rest of the night upstairs in Aelin’s room, curled up on her bed with a mountain of blankets and a good book. That is until Aelin and Rowan probably stumbled up there themselves, drunk and looking to do activities that did not involve reading a book. Elide had finished the one she’d “stolen” from the library days ago and was desperate for the sequel. She just might have to go to the library tomorrow before their campaigning session to get it - not “steal” it, of course.

“Ellliiiddddeeeeee” sang a voice from across the room. A very drunk Manon, white hair loose from its always sleek ponytail, broke through the crowd.

“Aeeeelliinnnnnnn” she sang this time, beginning to recite everyone’s name in song. A girl was with her, holding Manon up and laughing every time Manon opened up her mouth. Her smile was so bright it was blinding, and her perfect curves and curly golden hair only added to her extremely good looks. She was almost as attractive as Manon, maybe even as attractive as Fenrys, but there was a wilder glint in her eyes that had been absent in the latter two. By the way she was scanning their faces and keeping a good hold on Manon, Elide could tell she wasn’t drunk, but she sure was enjoying Manon being so. Lysandra stumbled in from the opposite of the room then, a new bottle of wine hanging loosely from her hand.

“Asterin, how drunk is she?!” Lysandra squealed, and then laughed at her own exclamation. Asterin, Elide assumed she was, laughed, her golden eyes crinkling at the edges. Lysandra made her way over to the couch where Aelin and Rowan were otherwise engaged with eachother, plopping herself down in the exact same position she was in before.

“I’d say a little more than tipsy, perhaps almost as drunk as you” Asterin replied, winking at Lysandra and sticking out her tongue as Lysandra let out another loud laugh. Aelin and Rowan just kept making out beside them, both choosing to ignore everyone and everything for the moment. Manon finished her pronouncement of everyone’s name in song and gave a loopy grin, turning towards Asterin and giving her a sloppy kiss. Manon’s red lipstick, usually perfectly lined with a deep blood red, was smeared all over Asterin’s face - and her own. The red cup in her hand swayed with Manon’s every movement. Elide couldn’t help but laugh.

Manon turned towards Elide at the sound. Her loopy smile only growing in size as she swayed over to Elide. But just as she was about to say something, Manon tripped over her feet and fell towards Elide, the contents in the red cup in her hand splashing all over Elide.

“Oh nooooo” Manon sang, giggling to herself and making no move to get off of Elide. Asterin tisked from over by the couch and came over to pick up Manon.

“I’m sorry!” Asterin said, looping Manon’s arm over her shoulder and starting to walk away. “You’re too drunk for your own good” Asterin said in Manon’s ear, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before escorting her away from the couch and towards what Elide assumed was the bathroom. Elide looked down at herself. Her outfit was dark, so she couldn’t really see a stain. But she felt gross and sticky now; she’d have to change.

“Grab a shirt from my room” Aelin said, turning towards Elide. It seemed that Aelin had taken a break from her makeout session, but Rowan hadn’t. He was kissing down Aelin’s neck as she spoke to Elide, his hands roaming in places that made Elide blush. Aelin noticed, letting a grin play on her lips, and only inclined her head towards the direction of the stairs before turning back to Rowan. Elide quickly looked away from them both and made her way towards the stairs.

The small amount of fabric that passed as her outfit for the night was completely drenched in beer. She’d have to scrub herself clean before she went home tomorrow. She didn’t want her uncle getting a single whiff of alcohol off of her. Elide eventually managed to squeeze her way through the crowded hallway and breakthrough the bombardment of drunk bodies to reach the bottom of the stairs. Not many people were on this side of the of the house. It seemed that if the music wasn’t near deafening at some area then no one wanted to be there.

Elide was just about to go up the stairs when she noticed the door to the back balcony was open, a cool breeze leaking through the cracks and lightly kissed her face. She walked over to close the door, thinking that someone had merely looked outside and forgotten to close it afterwards, when she noticed someone looking out over the backyard. The back lights were dim, and Elide only realized who it was standing there through the illumination of their cell-phone across their face.

It was Lorcan Salvaterre.

No, it was a pained Lorcan Salvaterre.

She’d seen that look on people’s faces, her own face, too many times to not notice it. Everytime she’d seen him and talked to him he’d displayed a hard exterior, an unbreakable facade. He displayed that now, but even from ten feet away and behind a door, Elide could see true emotion in his eyes. And she thought that maybe she should talk to him, apologize, perhaps, for her abrupt exit the other day at the library. What was the harm?

As Elide opened the door and stepped out to talk to him, Lorcan turned towards her and swayed. A red cup dangled from his free hand.

So perhaps it wasn’t emotion. Perhaps it was intoxication.

“Helloooo” he slurred, the corners of his lips moving up and down, as if unsure if he wanted to smile or not. Elide debated turning around and walking back inside, but with his attention solely on her now, those obsidian eyes showing just a bit of warmth - even if intoxication was more than likely to blame for it - she decided to stay.

“Hello” she responded, giving him a light smile and walking right up next to him, if only a few feet away. She turned her head to look over Oakwald forest.

The back balcony of Aelin’s estate stood over a steep hill that led to Oakwald forest, a sprawling collection of tall evergreens and dark oaks. It went on for as far as the eye could see, the tips of the farthest trees lining the horizon.

“I know you” he sang, shaking his head to get his hair out of his face. Elide almost laughed. Lorcan Salvaterre just sang to her. “You were at the lib-er-ar-ee.”

This time Elide did laugh. He was more intoxicated than Lysandra at the moment, and that in itself was a feat.

“Yes, yes I was” she said, still giggling. Lorcan loopily smiled at her laugh, but then suddenly turned his attention back to his phone. He looked over his shoulder back at the house and then began typing something on his keyboard.

“Are you waiting for someone?” Elide asked, inclining her head towards his phone. Lorcan didn’t respond, his brow only furrowing further as she spoke.

Elide remembered the look he’d shared with the dark-haired beauty, Essar. Perhaps he was out here avoiding her.

Or waiting for her.

Elide suddenly felt like she was intruding and made to walk away. “If you’re waiting for Essar or someon-” she began, but was abruptly cut-off by Lorcan’s deep laugh. It was unlike anything she’d ever heard, echoing across the porch and filling the eerie quiet. It stuck her to the spot.

“Gods no, I’m not waiting for Essar.” His words only wavered slightly. “That was a sophomore year fling that ended after a few months.”

Elide hated the sigh of relief that she gave. But Lorcan was still looking down at his phone, waiting for someone. There was only one person in the “Cadre” that wasn’t at the party. One person that Lorcan might be waiting for a message from.

“Are you waiting for Maeve?” Elide asked then, her voice soft. Lorcan froze at that. His hand closed around the red cup in his other hand ever-so-slightly, no longer dangling from his fingertips. Lorcan let out a breath and closed his eyes, leaning back to roll out his shoulders.

“No” he said, no louder then a whisper. “No, she’s not coming.” Elide studied his face. He brought his gaze back to the forest and looked over the trees just as she had been doing moments before. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact emotion that was displayed on his face. Hurt, disappointment, anger, sadness. Love. Perhaps it was all of them, perhaps it was none of them.

“I am waiting to see if she calls me though. In case she needs me to do anything. She didn’t say she would but I’m waiting anyway”  He rambled, abruptly ending Elide’s analysis. The slight slur to his words reminded Elide of his current level of intoxication.

“Why?” Elide breathed. Lorcan snorted.

“Why?” He whipped his head towards Elide, whatever contents that resided in the cup sloshing out at the sudden movement. “Why do you think? Everyone else seems to know why, so take a wild guess.” Lorcan downed the rest of the cup and threw it over the edge.

He either owed her something or he loved her Elide thought.

Or maybe it was both.

Lorcan was done looking down at his phone. He was only looking at Elide now, his breathing ragged and uncontrolled. He was obviously upset.

Elide wanted to run away under that hard gaze, but she stood her ground. She asked the question she wished people asked her when she wore that look. “Do you um- Do you want to talk about it?” Elide whispered.

Lorcan started laughing.

“No, no I don’t think so Elide.” Lorcan’s voice cracked when he said her name. Every word that left his mouth was clear, pointed, and sharp. “Not today” he said, and then the slurring was back.

He brought out his phone again, the artificial light illuminating his face once more.

Elide looked him over again, just now noticing the slight bruising around his eye that had been there the whole week, and turned back towards the house. She reached the door, and she felt a tear falling down her cheek.

She saw herself in him so much that she could have sworn that it hurt, hurt more than going through her life everyday and choosing to ignore what her reality was in hoping to find a better fantasy. But she willed herself to take those final steps away from him and hastily wiped away her tears.

She wouldn’t hurt, not tonight.

She closed the door behind her, once more bombarded by the blasting music and sea of bodies. And as Elide climbed the stairs and walked towards Aelin’s bedroom, more tears fell down her cheeks. Chanting to herself over and over that she wasn’t hurting.

She wouldn’t hurt.

Elide made it to Aelin’s bedroom and opened the door. She remembered that look on his face, the hurt in his eyes. She wouldn’t hurt. The music drowned out as she closed the door behind her and slid to the floor. He was just drunk beyond reason, that was why he was acting that way. She wouldn’t hurt. His voice had cracked when he said her name.

She wouldn’t hurt.

More tears fell down her cheeks.

She hurt.

[kenjkats]

Mention your 10 favorite blogs/person in this fandom and following reasons?

HRRRRR I HATE YOUR QUESTION why do you have to make me choose. 

Ok these favorites are either people I interact with a lot, or whose content I constantly live off of, or somewhere in between XD

1. @faded-hero one of my oldest friends and enablers on here. She was one of the first people I loved stalking in my lurker days before I made a blog, and I just love LOVE her HCs. She’s also a Kenji stan and someone I talk to a lot! She’s hella funny and chill and I love her

2. @toglidethroughlife is also one of the older friends I have on here. She was one of the few Kenji fanfic writers that was constantly putting out content and I ADORE. IT. ALL. She’s one of my favorite writers, she captures the Kenji x MC dynamic especially well! She’s also so kind and funny to fangirl with we’re always screaming at each other. It’s a beautiful thing, really XD

3. @violetflipflops is also one of my favorite writers in the fandom. I loved her back in my lurker days when she would get me through TRR cravings with her Drake and Liam fic. And now she’s a huge enabler for my Kenji obsession. She writes so well that I can’t help squealing everytime I read something of hers? She’s also very kind and friendly :D

4. @misha726author is yet another favorite writer. The way she depicts her characters and their relationships is amazing and always promises a good read! I also love how kind she is and how thoughtful, respectful she is when it comes to discussions while always maintaining her ground and composure when others are not.

5. @jakexmc is my spirit animal. We talk frequently and it’s always yelling and fangirling over Kenji and Jake and she’s just HILARIOUS. I love her gifs and text posts and just her as a person she always makes me laugh :))

6. @hartfeld is someone I talk to practically daily lol. Either we’re ranting or squealing over the game and mutual LIs and it’s always an interesting and fun conversation! Had a lot of good, thoughtful discussions with her :D

7. @jakenji-stan is someone I also talk to almost daily! We’ve gotten to know each other on some personal levels and she’s been a great friend. Also, she loves Jake and Kenji as well, and I have yet another person to freak out to about my men XD

8. @kenkatsaros YOU. We should talk more because I love you. She’s also one of the first few people on here who supported all the stuff I posted, and she still does. She’s been a good friend, enabler, and fellow Kenji stan. I also love her aesthetics and seeing screens of her Hero MC whenever she posts!

9. @the-light-of-stars I live for the theories and shitposts when things go down in the fandom. I laughed to tears at the height of all the Jomes stuff when everyone was outraged and you had like 10 memes it was ridiculous. Also a very nice and friendly person!

10. @jakeymckenzie A SWEETHEART. Yet another Kenji and Jake stan to scream with. She always enables and inspires my obsessions by sending me asks and commenting. She’s also so friendly! I love seeing her on my dash or in my messages screaming she makes my day :D 

Honorable mentions YES I’M BREAKING THE RULES, because there are people here who are awesome and have awesome content who I might not have listed, but I LOVE and this just means we should TALK MORE :))

@angstymarshmallow @lizzybeth1986 @jakemcckenzie @jakemckenji @lovemesomesnark13 @coffeandcheese @zigortega @quinn-kelly @mrswalkerwrites @zig-ortega @zaddykatsaros @zigbadboy

[ea-iwata-blog]

Hello hello! I’m here with an introduction of my wonderful Michi! You can find the same information on his page! As for admin, my name is Jewels and I use they/them pronouns! I’m in EST so keep that in mind when contacting me and my muse! Please like this post if you’d like me to pop into your messages to plot! His connections and the navigation page are under construction right now, but they’ll be finished soon! His intro is under the cut!

STATS

basics    BIRTH NAME: hisakawa michi    KNOWN AS: mich, chi   OCCUPATION: freelance dancer & vlogger. he normally just dances in the streets and gets tips but         he’s open to bigger jobs if he is hired. he will refuse any sort of entertainment company though. also     does a vlog that people seem to love for whatever reason.    DATE OF BIRTH: march 6th, 1993    STANDARD AGE: twenty-four    NATIONALITY: japanese    ORIENTATION: straight    GENDER: cismale (he/him)    SOCIOECONOMIC STATUS: upper    BIRTH PLACE: Fern (In modern world terms; Aichi, Japan)    RELIGION: none    BLOOD TYPE: b    PARENTAL STATUS: biological    DIET REQUIREMENTS: none

looks    FACECLAIM: takanori iwata    HEIGHT: 5’ 9"    WEIGHT: 146 lbs    EYE COLOR: brown    BODY TYPE: slim, muscular    HAIR COLOR: brown    DOMINANT HAND: right    TATTOOS: three    SCARS: none    PIERCINGS: five, on ears only    GLASSES: no

personality POSITIVE TRAITS: thoughtful, confident, daring NEGATIVE TRAITS: crafty, perverse, opportunistic

background    KNOWN LANGUAGES: japanese, korean, english    BASIC EDUCATION: yes    COLLEGE EDUCATION: no (currently taking a “gap year” (it’s been 6 years))    CRIMINAL RECORD?: yes

family    MOTHER: hisakawa keiko    FATHER: hisakawa hideaki    SIBLINGS: has 5 siblings    OTHER: none    RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single    RELATIONSHIP HISTORY: a long list

habits    SMOKER?:  yes    ALCOHOL:  socially    DRUG USE: socially    ADDICTIONS: smoking    VIOLENT?: no    SELF DESTRUCTIVE TENDENCIES?: no

other    DRIVERS LICENSE?: yes    ZODIAC(S): Pisces, Rooster    PET(S): 1 dog    RATING: 4.821    ADDRESS: fern   USERNAME: @/miichii

BIO

   Michi comes from a very high-rated and powerful family. He shared their rating of course, as he was raised to behave in that certain way. He has several older and younger siblings, however. So when he hit his highschool years, he began to feel left out and started rebelling. It started out in small ways, but once he became an adult, this got more dangerous. He starting joining in on Nerve and made the horrible mistake of doing several of the more illegal and dangerous missions and posting  a video of it online. Of course, his rating got docked. And so, he ended up living in Grass for awhile. He still continued joining in on Nerve, but was smart enough to not post it online this time. However, he messed up again and did one of the more dangerous missions in front of a cop. He got docked again, and lived in Field for awhile.

   It was living in Feild that opened his eyes- those way back home in Fern would always look down on these people and didn’t know the reality of it. After living like that for awhile, and working for everything that he had, he began to question everything taught to him as a child. From that, he began to question everything. And he knew how influential his family was. How being with his family again meant he could use their name to promote the truth about things, to get people to think.

   But everyone also knew about him falling down the chain of classes- as his family was very influential and famous, they were constantly watched by the media. And so, using the Nerve secretly and doing what he can, he began to climb up the chain of classes again, making his way back to his family. His siblings liked him even less after he returned- for they thought he didn’t deserve to be a part of the family, and he had changed and learned to question things so much that he’d get into fights with their parents all the time. So he moved into his own apartment. He restarted his vlog and gained followers fast. He got so popular that he even has a fanclub now (they call themselves ‘Chi’s). And through some less obvious messages in his videos, he’s slowly starting to get people to think about the world around them.

   Speaking of his fans, he loves them dearly. So long as they don’t stalk him, he is more than happy to interact with his wonderful fans. He seems like he’d be rude and cold to you, but that’s just his face. In actuality, he’s one of the sweetest guys you’ll ever meet. He’d gladly give anyone the shirt off his back if nessecary, or even give other people his food. And he doesn’t limit his public dancing and wandering around to just the community he lives in- he goes everywhere, happy to spread his messages and happiness. Since he lives in Fern, if someone is having an issue getting in when they absolutely need to, he’d be more than happy to claim to be related to them and have them stay at his place. That especially applies if someone is getting away from an abusive family- he’s all for helping with that.

   On the other hand, he just doesn’t know when to stop. Whether that be stop questioning things and live a little, or to start questioning things and stop taking dangerous missions on Nerve. He has a tough time between distinguishing those times. He is also too trusting- almost anyone can tell him a sob story and he’d vouch for them to get into the community of Fern. That is the reason why his paretns now have a bodyguard follow him around. Lastly, he’s very blunt too- everytime he questions anything or thinks deeply, he becomes very blunt and if you’re not being a good person, he would absolutely be unafraid to call you out on it and call you an a-hole.

[deadlyarcanist]

13 reasons why.

I just finished the Netflix's show "13 Reasons Why", after spending the past two days literally doing nothing with my free time but watching it.

This show, based on a book series, caught my attention (and so many of my friends) for being one of the most realistic, hurtful, ugly portrait of what having emotional and mental issues can do to you. What people can do to you. What men can do to women.

One of my best friends told me she couldn't keep watching, because it brought up things that she buried inside herself a long time ago. Another friend told me he would feel anxious everytime he tried to watch it. Many others told me they got their mental illness smashed on their faces within every episode. And I lost count on how many tweets, reviews and facebook posts I read where girls would share their deepest traumas regarding sexual abuse and slut-shaming and how the show opened up those wounds a little bit, all over again.

As for myself... I try to not talk about my personal life, and specially about my past, on social media. Or in life, to be fair. I always divert attention to other situations, maybe social interactions, maybe other people, so I can avoid talking about me. I might even pretend to talk about myself a lot - without actually telling you anything that matters. I'll talk about my exchange program, I'll talk about my travels, my music, my make up; I might even talk about my religion or even some of my friends. But, in the end of the day, I didn't said anything about myself, really.

My point with this is, first of it all, to take some weight out of my chest. To make my mind a little lighter than it's been, to maybe get someone who is going through shit (or put someone through shit) to understand how everything can change and how much small things can affect you while growing up.

Or maybe, if you can relate to any of this, you'll feel like you're not alone.

I wanna try and discuss a few of the topics that the tv show approached, and how it affected me and might be affecting people you know or even yourself.

Today's subject will be sexism, the rape culture and the slut-shaming shit we face everyday, regardless where you live in this world.

Let's start saying that if you're a male, when it comes to the sexual part of this, you won't ever understand. Not completely. But I appreciate you're trying.

EVERY girl has been put through some kind of abuse, at some point of her life. I know I did.

I was the girl who wanted to grow up really fast. I had more boyfriends than I could count, I made out with people I don't even know the name. I was the 15 year old kid dating a 23 year old guy. Guys, actually. I lost count on how many older dudes I dated between my 15 and 17 years. That's not only pathetic, it's fucking revolting that I had male adults all over me when I literally just got out of middle school. As you can imagine, none of this turned out that well. I was a child. I was imature, I had no idea of who I truly was and I had no idea on how I should be treated. I let men, full bearded men, take advantage of me (and i'm not even talking strictly about sex here), but to influence on how I grew up.

I grew up with this fucked up sense of needing a male to be by my side or else I would be meaningless. I thought I was weak, dependent. Older males. Adult males taking advantage of a fucked up teenager. They made me believe I was their property. They made me believe I was nothing without them. That this messed up sense of protection was all I needed to be happy. And let me tell you this: some of those guys now play on some of your favorite bands and preach about respect on stage.

So, to all of the guys who walked in my life at that time: I hope you understand that what you were doing was abuse. That I was a fucking girl thinking I was a woman. Who thought it was awesome to have a 20-something boyfriend to tell my friends how cool I was. I didn't knew any better, BUT YOU DID. You were the adult and you should have walked away.

And to all the creeps in their 20s (or over) who think it's okay to flirt, interact or actually date an underage girl: I hope you understand you're a scumbag. And honestly, just to think about all that shit makes me want to throw up.

------

Still in the subject abuse, now let's talk about rape, about consent. I was lucky enough this one never happened to me, but it did happened to more than one of my closest friends, and to a extremely close family member.

And this haunts them every single day.

They were blamed for their own abuse, they were laughed at, slut-shamed. They had to hear that if they didn't drink that night, it wouldn't happened. If they wouldn't walking by themselves at night, they wouldn't have been abused. That maybe they should have dressed better if they didn't wanted male attention. This is no news to you, i'm pretty sure. I'm 100% sure you heard all of this kind of shit, if you didn't said it yourself.

I just want to tell you that this moment, those five, ten minutes where those girls were being abused, they marked them forever. They changed because of that. Some of them could never get close to a man again in their lives. Some of them have nightmares about being raped again, some of them lost the support of their families, some of them lost their loved ones. All because one guy couldn't understand the concept of NO. Because that one guy couldn't accept the fact that they didn't wanted him. Because the couldn't control himself. Or because he didn't cared. Because they, my friends and my family, weren't people to his eyes at that moment - they were a thing; a piece of meat.

You know, I never been raped and I thank God everyday for it. But I've been abused in so many other ways. I've been touched against my will, I've been forced kissed, I've been chased on the street, I've been pulled by my hair in the middle of clubs, I've been cat called, I've been stalked, I've been sent many unrequested dick pics, I've been threatened to have my private pictures leaked. I almost got thrown in a car by four guys when I was only 14, while I went to one of my school friend's house, literally 5 minutes away. I was wearing my school uniform, which was an oversized tee and boy shorts. Was I "asking for it"? Was my way to dress to provocative to those pervs? I've been called a whore, i've been called a slut, I've been called crazy, I've been called easy. The most recent one is that I post sexy pictures because I seek male attention and that "isn't that what I wanted?" when I got unrequested nudes. Oh, also that i'm a "homie hopping whore", because I liked some pictures on the instagram account that happens to be friends with a guy I went out last year.

My point here: if you're a girl, i'm pretty sure you've been through some sort of situation like that before. You might be going through it right now. That shouldn't be a routine, this shouldn't be normal.

If I didn't had the right people coming to my life, I would never understand how strong I really am, who I really am; I would never be independent and well resolved with my own terms. And more important of it all: that what people did to me, what I believed it was just fine, was completely wrong. And how that made my life as a teenager so much harder than it needed to be.

On the show, Hannah (the main character) commits suicide after being cyberbullied, slut-shamed, objectified and, ultimately, raped. But this is a tv show, right? But I'll get you wondering... How many real Hannah's are out there? How many young girls gave up their lives over unkind words, over mean comments, over being violated? How many girls had their feelings - and their bodies - so hurt that they decided to stop all that by opening their wrists, hanging out their bedroom ceilings, jumping off buildings? How many cis, trans, old, young, black, white, rich, poor girls were so emotionally and psychologically destroyed that their thought that suicide was their only option?

Think about it. Do your research.

Your words, your attitudes, showing your support to friends and people you might not even know can change their whole life. It can be the difference between another day at school or a funeral next morning. It can change the mind of a girl who thought she was nothing more than a piece of meat to actually realizes that she's worth something. That she has more to offer than her body. It can build up or completely destroy someone's self-esteem and the way they cope with daily struggles. Your words and your attitudes can stop your friend from taking advantage of that drunk girl at the party, or to get justice for a victim. It can help your "bros" to understand what's right and what's wrong.

You have no fucking clue on what's happening on someone's life, so be kind. Be patient. Be respectful. Don't cover up for sexist, predatory attitudes. Don't judge, don't blame the victims. Be there for them.

[nr0r]

     Y’all I have no idea how to do this, so bear with me on this cause imma just ramble. Also, long post is long, so here’s a readmore (and a gentle reminder I need to CHANGE THE THEME ON BOTH OF MY BLOGS CAUSE OF WHAT IT DOES TO PICTURES UGGHHHHH)(I’ll do that after this)

     First off, can I just say Spongebob’s house is so adorable? Especially the curtains, since when did he get those?! It’s odd seeing him so tiny however... 

... and then normal:

               Yes folks, I’m that one binch who nitpicks at tiny animation crap.                       Prepare yourselves.

    I find it interesting that Squidward, of all people, the fucking drama queen that he is, is whining about Spongebob being a crybaby. Like, really dude? Really? Also look at how fabulous he is with his CRoiSsanT. God I love him. But realy quick tho... This episode has a LOT of fucking... tweening. My girlfriend @zeldamaysanartist told me that’s an issue in this season overall, and I’m not really surprised. They’re new to digital still, and won’t be used to it nor have the big fat budget they use and, well, abuse to an extent til like Season 9b I believe? I might be wrong. Yell at me if I’m wrong. But tl;dr: The tweening is so bad. Squid is just being pushed across screen, while being bopped up and down. Like, what gives man? We also see some awful tweening later in the episode, where you can TELL they’re animated in place... and then moved along screen. GROSS!!!

     Anyway, next scene is probably the worst in the episode to me??? I don’t know, I don’t like how Squidward yells at Spongebob like that. I mean, I get it, he’s a dick. Usually I’m the guy to convince some folks that he’s an asshole and all sorts of other negative traits that tend to get tossed away conveniently, but nah this made me fucking uncomfortable and I write this guy. Sorry not sorry, but I’m not a fan of this scene. Thankfully, like ripping off a strong band-aid, it’s over quick and the rest of the episode moves right along.

                        Coulda made a 42 joke here, but ya didn’t binch.

ALSO I wanna know why/how Squid got a hold of that montage. Like, what the fuck dude, are you stalking him? Ok ok I’m joking. But. Yeah. Also surprised Spongebob didn’t cry during the montage. He could have. He would have. You know he had the potential to.

       WHIP CRACK DETECTED Y’ALL. OH MAN.

     Also this has to be the cutest interaction in the episode. I just... love when these two display how damn close they are. They didn’t want to get off the phone, aw!!! I live for positive interacts between Spongebob and Patrick, and I can’t stand it when they make an antagonist outta Patrick, ESPECIALLY an antagonist outta Patrick for Spongebob. Bring back the wholesomeness that was season 1 Spongebob and Patrick, cause that was hands down the best version of Patrick in the series so far. I miss that positive relationship. I miss Patrick always looking out for Spongebob and actually meaningfully supporting him despite his shortcomings. I miss when the comedy centered around Patrick was due to his goof ups from his low intelligence, not from him being an outright douchenozzle. See, that was actually funny because you know he didn’t mean it, you know he meant well and, unfortunately, he gets both himself and Spongebob (and sometimes others) into a big fat mess that they have to overcome.

     That was funny, genuine, interesting and free of cringe and resentment from the audience. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

Also everytime Squid smiles like this I. Die. Gonna happen a lot in this episode though. God damn it Spongebob, that sleepover sounds fun! Too bad Squid’s a freakin’ wet blanket.

     NOT EVEN TWO SECONDS. WOULD YOU RELAX? YOU FUCKIN WEAPON.

            LITERALLY TRYING TO TALK ABOUT THE EPISODE OVER HERE. WOULD YOU RE-LAX?

     I’m not even gonna comment on this anymore. I’m literally just going to dump screenshots of this without commentary. The end.

     ANYWAY, moving right along. Now we’re at the part where. Squidward’s just. Casually in Spongebob’s house. I love this. My girlfriend loves this. We both agreed we need more of this. 

     It is literally cuter than this, which is pretty damn cute as is.

     Nitpick: Yo why is your tent not wrapped around his shoulder? Bad Squidward.

     Nitpick: JUST RE-WINDED THIS LIKE 5 TIMES. Squidward walks, and basically clips into his standing position. Like. WHAT. No I’m so serious, I swear, it just... skips to his standing pose when he gets from point A to point B. I... wowie. Digital animation has so much potential, but man the hiccups are real.

     Nitpick: AND AGAIN LMAO.

     This is adorable.

     Also, was that Bill?

     I KNEW IT.

This fish is actually him tho.

I can’t handle them...

     Sponge has got such a CUTE lil tea set, and dude Squid. C’mon. You pride yourself as a musician, but you forgot to BREATHE!? Sure he’s probably under pressure and comedy, but c’mon bud. Surprised he didn’t snap poor Clarey again, which explains why it sounds so damn bad.

     I live for times when he holds his tentacles like this. Live.

    I ain’t gonna say shit. I ain’t gonna say shit. I ain’t gonna say shit. I ain’t gonna say shit.

     Squidward’s such a bad liar guys. Damn wow. Damn.

     I AIN’T GONNA SAY SHIT.

     LET IT ALL OU- 

I AIN’T. GONNA. SAY. SHIIIIIT.

I dunno if I wanna joke about how defeated he looks or say...

     Art imitates art.

     My heart, but also

What a drama queen cry baby.

     Yeah ok this episode was great in my opinion compared to the rest of Season 7. Lots of good Squidbob TBH, Squid’s in Sponge’s home just casually and I love that. Spongebob’s such a cutie, Spongebob and Patrick have great chemistry on the phone. It’s great. Nothing’s too outrageously cruel except for that one tiny scene, and the only real downside is the delicious early digital animation errors and blatant tweening. Otherwise, this is one of the better episodes for sure out of this season and it gets a nice 8.5/10 would watch again.

[southernarchive-blog]

GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION   ▬   ok but jokes aside. i reached 300+ followers last week ( what r u doing here ) and i thought i’d spend some time crying about people who’ve been nice to me. bless you people. this will be the second and ( I PROMISE ) last readmore you’ll ever see on my blog. hate those things.

idk lemme throw in a few lines of my fave ( english ofc i don’t wanna be an asshole ) song and whoever guesses it gets a horrible doodle of their muse or smth.      //clears throat// keep it real for the people working overtime. they can't stay livin’ off the government's dime. stand tall for the people of america. stand tall for the man next door .

AY welcome to the readmore. a rare thing on my blog, yeah i know. but here’s the structure. i’ll say at LEAST one sentence to every url i will be posting here so this is gonna be a long ride. pack lunch we’re going on a trip. BTW !!! ALL OF THESE ARE IN N O ORDER WHATSOEVER

▬  PARDON MY ENTHUSIASM

 @northernblade // cAMI i swear to god you’re in every single one of these i can’t even start to tell you how much i love you IN EVERY SINGLE OF THESE MY GOD. WOM A N. i honestly can’t decide if i want to hate or love you considering our thread but let it be known !! that i’d get your name tattooed on my forehead if you asked me to. honestly we’ve known eachother for almost a year now ( would u believe it ) and eventhough we haven’t been writing ic wise for almost half of that time you’ve helped me through so much hardship and you’re so ?? lovable tbh. also where did those family drama updates go. we gotta keep our soap opera running. eventhough i’ll probably never see your 12/10 face in person we’ve been through some weird shit ic-wise. i mean birdboy and dogson and now the two bros who can’t seem to be happy. can’t we for once choose happy muses ? i love u. i hate u. i hate that i love u. ya feel.

@mokutcki // bruh. berfie. would you believe if i told you you’re the first person i ever had same muse interactions with ? would you believe me if i told you that you’re the first person with the same muse i wasn’t anxious around ? you’re //sticks leggy up// a gift from the heavens. i love you with all my dead, cold, rotting heart. but just to be clear ; i hate onryo. with a PASSION. okami hates him too. don’t even start with me about the shit we discussed JUST TODAY. he hates onryo. i hate onryo. it’s a love-hate relationship. but aside from that you’re !!!!!!! so friendly i want to cry. i’m crying right now. you have no idea how much i adore you. you’re so cool and chill ( or you pretend to be idk bites me ) and i love you so much i just really want to wrap u up in a blanket and steal you. but in a friendly way not a kidnapping way. please stay awesome.

 @burysong // K I E L OH MY G O D. i have never gone from ‘oh man i’ve been lowkey stalking your blog’ to ‘LOOK AT OUR KI D S’ in LESS than 48 hours ok. that’s like a new record. it kinda bums me out that we live past eachother. when you’re up, i’m asleep and vice versa. but ! the few times we do get to talk i love hearing about your day. talking with you is one of my favourite activities i swear to god. i love talking to you ooc and i love talking to you about hana and the grumpy perfectionist. your writing is the creme de la creme don’t even try to deny it i could bathe in your writing and that would be all i need to survive. i hope your day treats you well and you had some sweet dreams, because i just assume you’re alseep right now.

@tacticalviscr // i haven’t heared from you in a few days and that mAKES ME SAD BECAUSE !! you’re so precious marina. i die a little everytime i hear you aren’t doing too well. you honestly only deserve good things coming your way. dealing with snappy customers isn’t one of those things. i WOULD HAVE BAILED YOU OUT if you punched one of them over christmas tho. like i’m not kidding i would have bailed you out. but aside from that i !! love the sad grandpas. well ok one could be a grandpa. han is still young in comparison. i MEAN ok i’m joking. or am i. ANYWAYS ! i hope you’re doing way better soon ! please be happy. i have pictures of otters for you if you wanna.

@ladyshiimada &&. @silvcrbullets // ALEXANDER YOUR FACE IS K I L L I N G ME but it’s also curing my flu so never stop sending me selfies. don’t tell anyone i said this but you’re such a handsome person i’m jealous. AND !! i’m SO SAD we barely write ic-wise. i mean we talk frequently but i really enjoy writing with you ! as long as we keep writing ooc i’m happy though because you ! brighten my day so much and i’d love to send you all the dancing spider videos but you can’t watch videos in class. i just really hope life’s treating you well and class is not too straining ! i LOVE U V MUCH BBY.

@bladeofthesparrow // where did he come from where did he go. where did he come from cottoneye flint. uhm have i ever told you that ?? i’m adopting you. you’re mine now say hello to your new dad. ( i’M KIDDING DEAR ) but !! you’re such a precious bean i can’t even sTART SOMEWHERE because there is sO MUCH. I MEAN there was this one time where you disappeared and i got worried but ASIDE FROM THAT it’s just been !! so much fun and such a good time talking to you. and i love !! the things we talked about for han and gengu. especially the roadt trip like lbr that’s the one thing they both need in their lives. but aside from ic stuff you’re such ! a cheery person and that always rubs off on me and i get so happy when i talk to you. thanks a bunch. 

▬ GREAT MUSE CHOICE, BUDDY

BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO THE OTHER HANDSOAPS ON MY DASH sorry berfie u ain’t gettin tagged twice.

@koueii // we never //really// talked but your replies to my ooc posts make me laugh and brighten my day. thanks a bunch ! your han is g r e a t tbh. i love seeing you on my dash ! @wolfarrows // your blog isn’t even that old but i’m already !!! so invested into your portrayal, lev. i AM SO greatful that we’re gonna have some same muse interactions ! sorry i take so long uff. @meiyoisan // i assume we haven’t seen much of eachother on our dashboards but i’ve kinda scavanged through your blog and i’M !! HIGHLY in love mkay. 

▬ HERE ARE S’MORE

  @honorpledged // y O ! we talked a bit about my okami verse and it’s been !! such a good time honestly. your rein is pu r e gold ! @warpledged // I’VE TOLD YOU before and i’m telling you again ! I’ll smother you in love until i dig myself 6ft under. you’re so precious and such !! a good writier. keep being a cool cat @pcrdner // my scandinavian buddy ! idk if i’m allowed to call you buddy. probably not. sorry. but either you brighten my day with your writing OR your memes. 12/10 overall package. @etrevide // we talked like once and only very briefly but i’M SO STOKED to hear more of you ! i hope you’re feeling better soon thought ! @boundvigilante // oh man oh man oh man. your jesse is so well rounded and you’re such ! a good ! writer holy moly. somebody hold me. i feel like i’ve been bothering you so excuse that. i’ll try to cut down on it. @maidfaire // I’m sorry i never !! talk to you ! i have been missing gerome for some time but i ..... uh idk. please just know that i still love you very much dearie ! you’re wonderful @pistolslang // I STILL have your ask in my inbox and i’m super sorry i take so long but i’m v shy and you’re super great so haha .... excuse that. but ! let it be known that i breathe for you on my dash.