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cinnamonbear22 · 3 months ago

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oblivious love (c.s x reader)

chapter one

disclaimer!

yall i know they’re sober okay it’s just for the story, i have like seven chapters of this written up n i just wanted to see how one part would do so far :) i might not get everything accurate but it is just a story so don’t come for me ! plz!

fem!reader, fluff, substance use

"did you want to stop anywhere else before we go?" nick turned to me as my bags were clustered together on my arms as he only had a few.

"i think im okay" i looked down at my purchases, not even remembering what i had bought within the last previous hours since i had just fully splurged without a second thought.

"i think so too" nick chuckled and pulled out his phone while we stood on the busy strip of shops and restaurants. "let me get an uber and we'll head back" he didn't look up from his phone as he spoke, his hair gently blew in the wind that had a hint of sea salt lingering behind it.

i felt exhausted. i had a busy day out with nick. we went to the beach, went shopping, ate dinner, basically spending our whole day together. but this wasn't even the most busy day i had within the last two weeks with them.

the sturniolo family and mine had grew up together for as long as i could remember, in fact, me and the triplets were only born a week or two apart. my mom and their mom were childhood best friends since seventh grade, so they had also grew up together as well. they’ve always had plans as little girls to have babies around the same time so they could through motherhood together. it was always a childhood fantasy until it had actually happened, and ever since i could recall me and the triplets have never been separated… up until they had moved out of our hometown and to los angeles. they had often come to visit, but unfortunately they were extremely busy now than ever since the fame had rapidly taken over.

but they had spoiled me and flew me out for three weeks with them after not seeing them for six months. it was an unexpected present they had sent me and watched me open it over facetime. and i'll never forget their and even my own reaction.

i was about a week and a half into my trip, and already i've been extremely spoiled and so nicely treated by them. it was nothing new, when we were younger they had always treated me like a princess and the princess treatment still carried over twenty years later.

after about five minutes our uber pulled up to the curb we were waiting at, and we carefully slid in with all of our items. we talked quietly amongst ourselves, both of us feeling extremely dreary from our long day out. "we should deliver ice cream or something" my eyes lazily scanned the crowded ice cream stand as we drove by it.

"you said you were full after dinner" nick averted his gaze from looking out his window and looked down at me, laughing softly.

"ice cream sound amazing though right?" i cocked a brow, knowing i am going to order the ice cream with or without him.

"you're right" he sighed in defeat, rubbing his mouth in a contemplative way. me and nick were always the closest out of the three. i loved them all with my entire heart, but nick was truly my best friend. we would be able to sit in silence for hours just comfortable with each other's presence, hanging out for hours on end and being able to talk about absolutely everything. "what are you going to wear to that party tomorrow?" he broke me out of my daydream as the roads became more familiar as we got closer to their home.

"i think that little black dress i bought would be nice, no?" i turned to him, sort of thinking about the idea.

"you can never go wrong with that" he agreed. "i'll wear all black with you if you end up wearing that" he offered, making me laugh a bit.

"that would be great" i said wittily, my dreary head shifted its way onto his shoulder. "i'm a little nervous for the party"

"how come?" he pursed his lips, his eyes now shifting down to connect with mine.

"well i wouldn't know anyone besides you guys" the uber stopped in front of the house so we can be let off. we politely thanked him before shuffling out, grabbing all of my bags with me.

"well, you don't need to know anyone else but us" nick reassured with a little smile as he began to punch in the gate code.

"i wouldn't want to be annoying though and just leech off of you guys the entire time" the gate opened and we started to walk through, quickly the front door swung open.

"trust me you aren't annoying anybody here (y/n)," nick continued to reassure me as my eyes watched matt slightly jog down the front porch steps and to us.

"why didn't you help her with her bags?" matt looked at nick and nick quickly defended himself from his brother.

"i tried to, but she wouldn't let me" nick locked the gate back up as matt grabbed some of the bags off my arms without even asking me.

"i could've carried them myself" i looked up at him with a smile.

"you looked like you were struggling on your way up" he didn't even look at me before taking the lead and walking back inside, me and nick following him. nick side eyed me behind matt's back with his lips curled into a scoff, making me slightly giggle.

"did you guys eat yet?" matt asked as i made my way to the guest room that was tucked away within the first floor.

"yes" i heard nicks footsteps go up the stairs and my other bags that matt was holding rustling behind me as i made my way to my room for the time being.

once i was in my room i set my bags down and sat down on the bed, watching matt set down everything else. "thank you" i reached down and began to untie my shoes, ready to get into my pajamas after the long day.

"of course" he smiled gently and looked at me for a few long seconds before speaking again. "chris was looking for you all day today" matt rubbed his eyes with a slight smile.

"really?" my brows furrowed together but i couldn't help that i was a bit excited from hearing that. the name 'chris' even has me in a chokehold. we all grew up together, we grew up the same way, we all seen each other just as frequently as the other, besides nick, who i was inevitably closer with and hungout much more one on one, but even ever since we were little kids, me and chris's bond has always been slightly different, and everyone would be able to tell that no matter who you are. but i would never let myself act on those different feelings. i never wanted the ruin the dynamic between all of us.

"mhm," matt hummed, making his way to the door. "let me know if you need anything" he shut it behind him as i stared down at my feet for a moment.

i pushed myself off my bed and made my way towards the bathroom that was connected to the guest room and began to do my nightly routine, thinking about what matt had said but not taking it too far into consideration. i put my glasses on as the last step of my routine and quickly changed out of my clothes and into my pajamas, plaid fleece bottoms and a little tank top.

i slipped on my beige slippers and grabbed my phone before heading to nicks room, but before i could even open my door three knocks startled me. "can i come in?" chris's voice was muffled on the other side of the door. i opened the door which he seemed surprised, his eyes were extremely droopy, his hair was messy, his pajama bottoms sagged slightly revealing his boxers and he didn't have a shirt on. "oh..." he took a step back. i smiled and moved out of the way, giving him entrance into my temporary bedroom. "where have you been all day?" he asked, launching himself onto my bed and instantly cuddling up in the blankets.

"i was out with nick, i told you that, but i guess it just turned into an all day thing" i turned around and looked at him, and now that he was in the light i could see his eyes were a bit pink as well. "are you only coming to me because you just smoked?" i still stood and watched him as he got comfortable.

"no, no, no" his droopy eyes quickly went wide and he sat up, "i missed you today that's all, and i just happened to smoke. coincidence"

"got it" i couldn't help but smile at him and i made my way towards the edge of the bed, keeping our distance although i felt my skin on fire. i wish that the feelings would go away, but after several years they never had.

"you got a little sunburn on your cheeks" he reached his hand up and gently brushed his thumb across my cheek.

"is it bad?" i pulled myself away from his hand and touched it with my own, feeling the slightly irritated skin. i didn't even notice it in the bathroom.

"no, not at all" his tired eyes locked with mine. "it's cute" he grinned, making me smile too. he knew what he was doing. i felt like he had known i had a crush on him, but sometimes i think he's completely oblivious to it. i am sort of hoping he's more on the oblivious side.

it wasn't unnoticed that i would get a little more nervous whenever he was around, a little more aware. with matt and nick i was fine but with chris, even though i knew i could be myself around him, i still felt a small edge.

"do you really think so" i said sarcastically and put my hand under my chin, posing my face so he could see all sides.

"i really do" he chuckled, putting his hands behind his head now as he laid back down. the soft light in my room prominently brought out his light muscle tone along his strong facial features. "what are you going to wear to the party?" he asked me, referring to tomorrow.

"i bought a little black dress today" i looked behind me at the plethora of bags scattered around my room.

"that's always a classic" he nodded, the corners of his lips upturned.

"i spent so much money..." i sighed, still looking at the bags.

"did you use my card like i told you to?" he asked, now propping himself up on his elbow.

"as guilty as i am, i did" i scratched the back of my head and looked at him, his face washed over with excitement.

"well technically..." he now had deceitful look in his eyes, making my stomach churn. "i bought all these clothes so you have to give me a haul"

"you want a haul?" i couldn't help but to giggle a bit.

"please" his icy blue eyes looked up at me as i began to stand up, sending chills through every part of my body. "especially the victoria secret bag, i want a try on haul"

"cut it out" i turned my head to him as he was smirking at his little remark. "thank you by the way, you seriously did not have to give me any money"

"i wanted to" he watched me carefully now as i picked up all the bags and set them down on the bed. "so what did you get?" he sat himself up now and leaned against the headboard. "show me the dress"

i shuffled and dug around into some bags until i found the dress, his face immediately dropped as soon as i pulled it out. "what? is it ugly?" i was taken aback from his reaction.

"no not at all" he was looking between me and the dress. "it's just that..." he hesitated before speaking making me more nervous.

"just say it! am i too big for this dress? will it not compliment me?" i started to panic now, of course my thoughts quickly spiraling. that was nothing new to me.

"no! absolutely not!" he jumped up in quick defense, still looking at the dress. "it just looks like the size of a t-shirt…" he mumbled so softly, making me laugh that all the anticipation was for nothing. "it's not funny, it's too short" he started to laugh along with me, snatching the luxurious dress away from my hands. "are you sure this says dress on it? are you sure you didn't get it in the shirt section?" he started to look at it closely now, looking at the tags and everything. "it's so silky" he started to rub it against his face like a child with a blanket. "this is silk right?"

"stop it" i took it back from him with a smile, his eyes were still somewhat in a trance on the dress. "yes it is"

"i'll have to keep an eye on you all night if you wear that" he huffed, running his fingers through his hair. "are you going to wear like," his gaze averted up to my eyes, and i held it strongly. "wear a jacket..? like one that goes to the floor and you just button it up all the way and the dress underneath it so technically you're still wearing it out"

"i'm in los angeles, i didn't think i needed a jacket" i scoffed, neatly laying the dress across the desk chair that was in the room. he looked like he was in deep thought now. he licked his lips and wiped his mouth, all of his subconscious habits coming into play. i was now standing at the foot of my bed as he looked contemplated, but i was ready to go into more of the haul.

"nick let you buy that dress? for how short it is?" his pink eyes looked me up and down making me tense.

"christopher" i snapped at him, shooting my eyes up to meet his. "it's not that short"

"what shoes are you wearing?" he asked. he crossed his arms in such a graceful manner, accentuating his chest.

"i was just going to show you" i dug into another bag and pulled out a shoe box. inside the box revealed gorgeous, sleek, simple, shiny black stiletto heels. "what do you think?"

"i think that maybe with those on you'll look a normal height" he snarked, earning glare.

"seriously?" i cocked my head to the side, challenging him to see if he'd go any further.

"sorry" he pressed his lips together to try and mask his smile. "all i know is that you're definitely going to be the center of attention"

"yeah right" i put the heels back in the box and had also set them down by my dress. "im not going to know anyone there besides you guys, ill be following you guys around like a lost puppy" i retorted, moving some of the bags aside on my bed and sitting back down.

"there's no issue with that" he seemed a bit relieved taking in the fact that i would be near him all night. "i would be glad to accompany you to this party" he bowed his head like a prince would and spoke in an extremely formal accent, earning a small laugh. "i'll wear all black too"

"i think nick already is" i remembered him saying something about that in the uber.

"but i want to match with you though" he slightly whined and pouted like a child.

"well that has to be arranged between you guys" i put my hands up in defense and his eyes seemed to drift from mine and fixate my chest area. "what are you doing?" i covered my chest with my hands, watching his eyes carefully.

"i was looking at your necklace" he scoffed, and i quickly set my arms back down.

"oh" i giggled lightly and scooted a bit closer to him. "do you like it?" i asked him as his fingers gently brushed against my chest, and he held the small gold lion pendant.

"i do" he looked up softly at me. "did your boyfriend back at home get it for you?"

"you're such a dick" i slapped his arm away and a smile slowly crept up on his face. "me and that guy dated for a month, he cheated on me anyway, you know this..." i felt humiliated. "why do you still tease me for it?"

"because i told you he was a walking red flag" chris leaned back against the headboard, crossing his arms like how he had them before.

"please forgive me for being young and naive" i said in a snide tone, shaking my head. "what about you?" i asked him with a stern tone.

"what?" he cocked a brow.

"have you been with anyone within the last two years?" i asked him, sort of hoping the answer would only go one way.

"absolutely not" he shook his head, still holding eye contact with me. "(y/n) you would've known"

"well," i placed my hands in my lap. "do you have any interest in anyone? you've had to have met so many people in l.a."

"why are you asking me these questions?" his face began to hue a pink, just like his eyes. it gave me a small ego boost, seeing that i could also make him nervous.

"what? you can bust my balls all you want but i can't?" i teased him and he bit his lip nervously.

"she's going to be at the party tomorrow" he said, making my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. i always set myself up to self sabotage, but it's better for me to find out from him than anyone else.

"yeah?" i kept a smile on my face, staying strong.

"mhm" he hummed, licking his lips and keeping his gaze in my eyes. a small bit of tension built up in the room and i felt like it was my fault.

"then you better not match with me because she might take it the wrong way" i anxiously began to fidget with the rings on my fingers.

"no, she better like it" he quickly came back making me a little confused but still a bit dejected.

"you're bold christopher" i slightly tilted my head to the side, taking in his dominate tone.

"i really wish i was" he sighed and stared at me with a slight look of regret in his eyes. it was a little off putting since it was hard to read him in this moment, the tension now flooded the room and it felt like i was drowning in it.

"then why aren't you?" i pushed him a little further.

"because i'm scared" he still looked strongly at me.

"scared of what?" my fingers made their way back to fidgeting with my rings. the vibe in this room was so off putting yet i still feel extremely relaxed with chris.

"rejection" his eyes became even more droopier as he spoke. "commitment"

"chris you know you could have any girl that you want" i couldn't help but to laugh a tiny bit, chris, scared of rejection? seriously? i understand commitment, he's always had an issue with that.

"there's only one i want" he held his pointer finger up in my face, indicating the number one.

"well," i softly pushed his large hand away from my face, but he ended up resting it in my lap on top of my hands lazily. "why not make your move at the party tomorrow? you said she'd be there right?" his hand started to feel all the rings on my finger, sending shivers down my spine with how gentle he's being.

"i will" he stared at our hands mingling, looking deep in thought. "you mess with your rings a lot, even the other day in the restaurant when you were ordering when we all went out to eat"

"i guess it's a nervous habit" i tried to pull my hand out of his soft grip, but he harshly grabbed it back.

"i wasn't done looking yet" he didn't even look up at me, just softly held my hands with his one.

"i think you're just trying to hold my hands" i grinned and looked up at him, and his eyes returned back to mine.

"so what?" his head lazily tilted to the side. "is it okay?" i nodded and watched his every move. "just like when we were younger" he chuckled to himself.

"i know" i sighed, laughing at the memories. "you did not let go of my hand when you were a toddler" he reached his other hand over now and started to play with both my hands. "i was dragged along everywhere with you"

"you wear so many rings" he held up my wrist to his face, inevitably pulling me in closer to him. "you don't like being dragged along with me?" his voice became tired now, but it was even more attractive.

"what more could i want in life?" i retorted, earning a small, sleepy evil eye from him. "you look so tired"

"im tired of you" he said scornfully, causing me to withdraw my hands from him and lean back with fake shock.

"you're extremely sassy tonight" i gave him a fake sad look and his face softened.

"i didn't mean it, come on" he quickly reached over and grabbed my arm, yanking me towards him and quickly engulfing me into a big hug. "you know you're my favorite person" he mumbled into my hair as i laughed at the sudden movements, being a bit taken back.

"you're my favorite boy ever" i told him, and i couldn't help but to wrap my arms around him as well. i was so happy to be in l.a. with all of them again. ever since they've been moving around back and forth i always felt a little empty without them in my hometown. i know that they were always one call away, but it would never be the same than me riding my bike to their house like i did when i was young, knowing i could go to them whenever i needed to.

"what about nick?" chris didn't let me go, but i wasn't upset about it. his hugs were always my favorite.

"that's our secret then" i pulled away from him as his arms still lingered around my middle, and we sat there just staring at each other for a moment.

"can we have a sleepover?" he asked, excitement filled his tired eyes.

"i guess" i laughed a little, my hands subconsciously rubbed his arm that was resting on me. ever since we were children chris has always been touchy with me, never in a weird way, so i never really accounted on that for a yes or no confirmation if he had similar feelings for me or not.

"hooray" he geek-ily smiled at me, earning a little laugh. "we haven't had a sleepover since sixth grade"

"i don't know what you're talking about, i was practically at your house every weekend in high school sleeping over" i cocked my brow, taking my hand away from his arm.

"yeah but you were always with nick" he rubbed his eyes with one of his hands, the other still loosely holding me.

"we're you jealous?" i teased him, but he just rolled his eyes.

"really?" he said in a dull tone, his eyes looking like they were trying to fight awake.

"i'm teasing you" i couldn't help but to feel the sleepiness as well.

"tell me about it" he groaned, covering his eyes with both his hands now and he looked up at the ceiling.

i giggled a little and swung my legs over the mattress, and started to move off all the rest of my bags off the bed that i hadn't shown him yet. "aren't you going to show me everything?"

"tomorrow, i'm tired" i set down all my bags on the floor and tossed him the television remote. "turn something on" he caught it with ease and i made my way to the light switch.

the only light that filled the room now was the t.v. and the moon spilling in from outside. it was such a calming scene, especially with chris in the room. as nervous as he made me he will always, always put me at ease.

i crawled into my bed, keeping as much distance as i could from chris. i didn't want to seem like i was pushing it at all, or annoying him in anyway. i pulled the blanket up to my chin, tucking myself in next time him, grabbing hold of the teddy bear that was gifted to me several years ago from the triplets and hugging it to my chest. "you still have that?" chris's groggy voice was close to me now.

"of course" my eyes focused on the t.v., seeing he had put on some movie. i wasn't sure what it was though. i was too tired to care right now.

"you took it with you on your trip?" he still sat up against the headboard, slouching a little as he looked down at me.

"it's like my security blanket" i looked up at him, his face being dimly lit by the television.

"awe that's adorable" he cooed at me, a slight pout formed on my lips. "why don't you hold me like that?" at this point he had to be taunting me.

"i don't think you're a teddy bear" my fingers laced in the teddy bears slightly matted fur.

"let me me be your teddy bear" he sang to me in his sleepy voice, referring to the elvis song.

"oh my goodness" my face was flush, but im sure the sunburn covered it up.

"please" he begged, pouting his lip out and widening his eyes like a puppy. i knew he was just high, and he probably wouldn't mention any of this in the morning, but it was also just how our dynamic worked.

"c'mere" i set my teddy aside freeing the space and opened up my arms to welcome him.

"yes" he said joyful to himself, quickly shifting himself on top of me. i grunted a little at the weight, since he plopped himself on me without any hesitation.

i wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him slightly as he got comfortable with his head on my chest. his fluffy hair tickled my face and i gently pushed it away with my fingers. "you're such a baby" my fingertips softly traced along his back, my eyes shifted to the screen.

"remember in middle school at that one little party we went to" he murmured into my skin, his hot breath against me made my hair standup.

"not really" one of my hands began to play with his soft hair. "that was so long ago, how do you even remember middle school"

"i don't know" he mumbled.

"why?" i was talking softly now.

"i remember it was the first girl-boy party we ever went to and how exciting it was" he rambled with slurred words here and there. "and we played spin the bottle remember?"

"sort of..?" i tried to dig deep into the memory but it wasn't really anywhere to be found.

"it was your turn and you were so nervous" he chuckled lowly, but i was still confused to the point he was trying to make. "but it landed on me"

the embarrassing memory instantly came back.

"oh god" i sighed, rolling my eyes a little at the story. "why are bringing this up?"

"i don't know i just remembered it" i could tell he was lying. i didn't want to push the conversation further. "was i a bad kisser? is that why you don't remember?"

"christopher..!" i whisper yelled at him, taking my hands out of his hair and off him and tried to push his shoulders off me but he didn't budge. he probably had felt the heat radiating off my body from how embarrassed i was.

"what?" he chuckled slightly at my reaction, resisting to move off of me. "put your hand back in my hair please" he mumbled but i didn't listen to him. "please, it feels so good" he whined wearily, my heart began to pick up at the choice of words he used. "remember when you used to do my hair as a kid"

"why do you remember so much?" i put my hands back in his hair, softly pressing my nails into his scalp and lacing my fingers through his locks.

"god, i don't know but i just love this feeling" he groaned, nestling more in my chest. "i missed you" he blurted out, his eyes shut all the way now. he talks so much, i wouldn't doubt that he sleep-talks as well. but i never ever minded it. the way he could change the subject and talk to people and never make it awkward was just such a strong quality of his. "i miss being at home and you're so close to me-" he cut himself off quickly. "well i meant us"

"i missed you too chris" i let my eyes fall since they were fighting to stay awake at this point. "a lot"

he continued to talk, but it was hard for me to process what he was saying. he was slurring and mumbling, and i was drifting in and out of consciousness, responding to him with only 'mhm's and 'yeah's. but his voice was lulling me to sleep, so i didn't mind. i would never mind moments like this.

#chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matt sturniolo #fanfic #fem reader #sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo #matthew sturniolo

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sweetsbfreex · 3 years ago

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a styles vacation to Hawaii

Summary: a little continuation of this family. The styles take a vacation to Hawaii with mild bumps in the road.

a/n: no warnings, but harry is not famous in this. I’ve never been to Hawaii and do not much of the hawaiian attire/culture, i just did research and put what i found. If there’s any misconceptions or if i’ve offended anyone by accident pls lmk!

Pairings: Dad, Husband!Harry

“Honey, you have to let go so we’re not late for the plane” Harry grunts, trying to stealthily pull Ava away from her hold on Milo.

“No! We can’t leave Mimi” she cries out, cuddling her face into the pup’s fur even more.

“Mimi has to stay with nan, honey” From his tone you can tell he’s losing patience.

It’s a definite eyesore. The whole situation takes place on your mother's porch. You were all meant to say your goodbyes before the three of you–– no Milo–– go off on a small vacation to Hawaii.

Ava is holding on to the australian shepherd, not letting up one bit. You would think she glued herself onto him without anyone knowing, with how she latched on.

Milo in front of your mother's feet, enjoying what he thinks is a hug it seems. Only letting out long whines when Ava's sobs get out of control.

Harry is standing behind Ava, bent at the wait trying to pry her off her best friend.

You're crouched beside her, a hand on her back, trying to convince her to let go.

Ava's poor grandmother stands in the doorway. A look of agony on her face as she watches it all go down.

The–– now three year old–– has been throwing a hissy fit in the car, holding onto Milo's paw. Ever since Harry informed her how they were going to her nan's house to drop off Milo and then hurry to the plane. She saw the news like a terrible taste in her mouth, while she stared at you both in the rearview mirror eyes widened.

You know how much the two love each other, but you didn't expect her to throw a fit like this.

“Ava I know you’re upset but, you gotta let go honey so Mimi can have fun with grandma. Don’t you want to go on the airplane, hm? Weren’t you excited about it?” You ask her, beginning to unclasp one hand and go for the other, trying to bring into your arms.

But with quickness, she remembered the only way she would be able to go on this vacation. Without Milo, she wraps her arms around Milo again.

“Baby, Milo has to stay. Dog’s aren’t allowed in Hawaii” At this moment, Harry is willing to try anything.

“They’re not?” she asks, tilting her head back a little to see her father’s face.

“Nope, Milo won’t have fun there. He’ll have more fun with Nana” he tells her, bringing his thumbs down to wipe away the tears.

“...I wanna stay with Mimi!”

Milo doesn’t eject this idea, letting his chin rest on her small shoulder. You and Harry huff in frustration, glancing at each other. Your mother...well she’s had enough of whatever foolishness you and H are pulling right now.

“Okay enough of this” your mother starts, gaining everyone’s attention. “Ava, honeybee, Tell Milo and your grandma see you later and let go of him so you can have fun on your trip with your parents.” She says this with a stern, yet loving tone. Down to business and nothing else.

“Yes nana” she mumbles, placing a few kisses to Milo’s cheek and glides to your mom.

You and Harry look at each other in an instant, eyes wide at the way your mother fixed the problem in less than a minute. A mutual look of what the fuck, as in the what the fuck were you possibly doing wrong.

“Thanks mum.” Harry says sheepish, looking at the calming little one swaying in your mother’s arms.

“Yeah thanks mom” you say, standing up straight.

“No problem, Now get going, before she fusses again”

You all exchange your see you laters. Ava has yet another sweet moment with Milo. While Harry tells her she won't be staying in Hawaii forever and Milo won't stay with Nana forever. As you're driving away you all wave at the two, Ava yelling to Milo.

“Bye Mimi! See you soon! Don’t chase a squirrel when I’m gone!” She yells out the window, her arm waving in the wind.

You and Harry share a chuckle. Despite what she may think, Milo has never chased a squirrel in his life. She's watched it once on a cartoon and it somehow filled her heard with the imaginary scenario.

When both her grandmother and bestfriend are out of sight, she turns her head to the other window. A solemn look on her face, looking out the window like the Kermit the Frog meme.

You play the Frozen 2 soundtrack for the less pouty girl behind you. But when you don't hear the shrill sound of her singing, you look behind you to see an upset look upon her cherub face.

Her bottom lip is juts out, her hands fisted and arms crossed.

“You okay?” you ask her, turning in your seat to cradle her knee.

She’s dressed cutesy in a matching sweat set and a cute beanie rested over her plaits.

“No. I’m upset and I wanna yell” she looks at you, resting her case, before she turns her head back to its original spot.

Harry peeks at the interaction through the rear view mirror; an eyebrow quirked. One hand on the wheel while the other takes its natural spot in your lap, your fingers tangled with his.

“Why are you upset?” you ask.

“Because…” she groans, trying to figure out her ‘big feelings’. “You left Mimi and now he’ll hate me”

“He won’t hate you, you’re his favorite person”

“You guys don’t love me either!” She whines, glaring out the window. Wigging in her spot, causing your hand to fall from her knee.

“That’s not true! We love you” you exclaim, in a loving manner.

“Then get Mimi”

“Mimi is staying with grandma Ava, enough.” Harry’s voice catches her attention immediately. “ It's okay to be upset but Hawaii doesn’t accept dogs, remember?”

She only huffs, dropping her hands from her chest.

“Can you play the when I am older song, please mommy?” she almost whispers.

You accept her request, turning so you’re seated right. Playing the song and hearing her sing eases your glazed stare a bit. Releasing a breath and closing your eyes as you rest your head against the window adds a bit to your release.

Harry raises the entangled hands away from your lap, placing an adored kiss to the back of your hand. Sending a quick questioning look your way.

“I’m fine” you send back, in a smile. No mother wants to hear those words.

He can’t do much with him driving and with Ava in the car. So he places a kiss to the back of your hand once more, and extends his hand so he caresses the back of your neck.

“You’re doing a great job, stop being so hard on yourself” he encourages.

If your mom was here she’d give you a tip or two on how you and Harry are too soft on Ava. You couldn’t help leaving all the disciplining to Harry, you probably were definitely too soft on her at times.

Through all the pouting, belting of kid songs, and Harry's annoying jokes and teasing. Five hours later you've made it to the resort.

At the moment, Harry was checking you both in while you and Ava looked around the gift shop. When you feel someone’s arm come around your shoulder, you jump. But the feeling of his cold rings and brings you down.

“Scared me, don’t do that” a breath of relief follows as you tilt your head back onto his shoulder. He gets the memo immediately, leaning down for a peck to the lips.

“Made a friend in the lobby.” He tells you like nothing. Eyes shifting at his little girl looking through the stuffed animals and keychains.

“Are you okay?” you ask in disbelief.

“What?” he laughs, one eyebrow perched.

“Like in the head”

“I’m not following…”

“Why are you so good at making friends with strangers this easily? Seriously.”

He laughs you off like it’s nothing, but it’s uncomic. You wish you could blame it on being shy, but compared to Harry it was not that easy for you to chat up strangers enough that you become acquaintances.

Your husband could make friends with a duck if he wanted to. Everywhere you went. Whether in the ice cream shop a few miles away at home or the park where you took Ava all the time .He was always chatting with someone, in the end pulling you in.

He only laughs it off, beyond doubt enjoying the look on your face. “We agreed to save each other a seat at the Luau tonight, for whoever gets there first. Talked to the husband actually, but you’ll see”

“You’re insane” you tease him.

“Can I have this?” A teal, stuffed sea turtle is thrusts in the direction of you and Harry.

“How do we ask nicely” you say.

“Can I get this?” she smiles, a smile so sweet, your tooth hurts from looking at it. She’s the most adorable thing and knows exactly how to use it to her advantage.

“My sweet little baby.” Harry crooned, advancing to her, lifting her into his tattooed arms. Placing a series of kisses to her plump cheeks. She giggles, never wanting the affection to stop. “You can have it,” he tells her. “Let’s go to the till.”

“Harry you didn’t even check the price” you chimed in.

“Shh. We’re having a moment” he acknowledged. He outstretches his arm, so his palm meets your face gently. You laugh into it, before you smack his wrist away, then placing a light kiss to his wrist when he whines.

It’s some hours later. You’re all getting ready for the hotel’s hosted dinner/Luau tonight. The three of you took a two and a half hour nap.

You were touching up your light makeup while Harry got Ava ready. He lost two rounds of rock-paper-scissors and now must deal with the havoc that is dressing Ava.

“Baby, get the trousers mommy picked out for you” you Harey him tell Ava.

“Trousers?” She says the word with confusion, “Don’t have trousers babe? That’s a silly word.”

Then you hear the raspy laugh of Harry.

“Your pants, get your pants and your top too”

Not even a minute later do you hear Harry asking her to stop wiggling around.

Harry walks in the bathroom, a giggling Ava sat on his hip.

Harry adores a very laid back...dad look you could say. The back of the white wife beater he’s wearing get’s covered by a black button up shirt with flamingos patterned all over it. He’s also wearing a pair of shorts and his favorite vans.

Ava’s tucked into a set. a cami top with matching flared pants and sunflowers ornamented the black fabric.

“Oooh look at mumma, beautiful huh?” he asks Ava, extending one hand towards you, once you clasp your hands in his, he spins you letting his eyes sink in.

“Yeah!”

“Thank you both” you smile as Harry tugs you in for a swift kiss.

You had picked out an angelic, ivory crochet set. The top you’re wearing shows off your midriff and the long, flowy skirt matches with beautiful lace detailing.

You turn to Ava to give her a kiss on her cheek. “You look so handsome.” you tell Harry, letting your hand run through his hair. “And you look so adorable, you like your outfit?” taking her from Harry’s hands.

“Yeah, I like the flowers–– Can I have some too?” she points to the plethora of makeup products spread over the bathroom counter.

Looking over at Harry for his confirmation, he nods. You take the brush running it over the blush, before brushing it over her chubby cheeks and her nose.

“Tickles,” she laughs, pushing your hand away.

“Are you ladies ready to go?”

“Wow! Look the fires!” She points at the lines of tiki torches submerged into the sand, jumping as she sits on your hip.

The layout is stunning. There’s a stage for the performance, round tables spread out everywhere across the beach, and a buffet in the back.

Most of the tables are already filled, albeit the show was to start in like twenty minutes.

“There they are, over there” Harry indicated, his hand waving back at a family of four.

With Harry’s hand settled on your back, he weaved the three of you to the table.

“Hey Shawn.” Harry greeted, their hands clasped together as they brought each other in, clapping each other on the back.

Shawn was a tall man, a few inches taller than Harry, and very built. He had amazing brown skin, clear like a mirror, and was bald––which he pulled off effortlessly.

“This is my wife, y/n and my daughter Ava” he smiled at the two of you, while you shook hands with Shawn and asked Ava to say a hello. Which she did, like bursting a ball of energy as put her hands out for a handshake like she watched her parents do. It caused a laugh out of everyone. She didn’t know why they were laughing at her, but she enjoyed the attention.

“This is my wife Avni” you hugged, as close as you could, with a petite, expecting Indian woman. She was radiant as she smiled at you and Harry. “These are my kids Grey and Aster” you shook hands with them both.

Grey looked about Ava’s age, bouncy coils moving as he bobbed up and down in his seat. His sister, who looked in her tweens, sported the same hair texture. Aster more silent of the two sent her greetings kindly.

“And the third is still cooking in here” he laughed, setting his hands down on Avni’s early protruding belly.

With that joke, you understand exactly how the two of them got to know each other, as Harry joined in with his laugh. The wives chuckled amongst themselves.

“How far along are you?” you solicited.

“Three and a half months” Avni smiled proudly, rubbing both hands around her belly.

You cooed, “It’s amazing, you’re literally glowing. You're making me miss being pregnant” you joke.

“Okay! Enough of that. One little devil is enough.” Harry tickles your side, as a result you jab his side with your elbow gently, as he grins down at you. “We’re gonna go get some food,” he informs the couple.

Now everyone’s sitting around the table anticipating for the show to start. Conversation running pretty smoothly. The four of you were even able to make a few plans for the week you are here for. You had gotten a high chair for Ava to sit and eat in, but she wasn’t having it. Failing around while reaching for you.

In result, she’s now sitting in your lap, bouncing side to side. Munching on her French fries, chicken, and sipping on her pineapple juice.

“Taste good?” Harry asks his toddler.

“Mhm” she hums, shoving her thumb into his face.

“I can tell” he chuckles, extending a napkin to wipe her face clean.

You tilt your head down closer to hers, to see sauce around her mouth, some of it on her cheek even.

“Daddy.”

“Hm, baby?”

“Mimi would like this, he loves the chicken mommy gives me”

“You give Mimi your chicken?”

“No”

You both laugh it off, not seeing the point in correcting her.

“Who’s Mimi”

“Mimi is our dog, he's big and he can talk!” Ava answered, her voice ringing with excitement.

“Dog’s can’t talk!” The high-pitched voice of Grey argued, eye brows pitched together.

“That’s a fib, Mimi talks to me all the time!” she defended.

Thankfully, the show was beginning, two young women and four young men came out on stage. Dressed in their traditional Hula attire.

You and Avni shared a grateful smile, knowing neither of you would know how to suppress their little spiff.

The dance is mesmerizing and it was nice with the sun almost setting as a background. Light hues of orange shaded the sea as the night took over the rest. Everyone watched in awh, clapping when it was appropriate. The women’s skirt flowed amongst the air like water.

Harry’s arm propps on the back of your chair. During the performance you feel his fingers run against the back of your neck.

You turn your head towards, trying not to disturb the entranced little girl on your lap. “What?” you mouth.

“It’s beautiful” he whispers to you.

“I know” you tell him, smiling when he rolls his eyes at you.

At some point in the show, the original dancers plus a few more stepped off the stage. An array of Lei’s on their arms, watching as they put Leis around their chosen person’s neck. During this time a woman walks behind Harry, setting one around his neck.

You laugh at the shocked look on his face and the way he fixes his posture. She places a grip onto his arm, making him stand up so she could guide her to the rest of the others. Avni gets chosen too.

The smile on your face makes your face hurt as you watch Harry “dance” up there. The man definitely didn’t have the bet rhythm but he’s having fun and you loved that.

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!...” Ava cheered on her father, clapping her hands. Harry looks towards her, waving. She gets even more excited chanting his title louder.

She's Not interrupting anything, you’re surprised he heard her in the first place. But also not, she always knew how to project her voice when needed.

A little over a minute goes by when Ava raises her hand and keeps it up there until you’re able to flag down someone for a lei, which you both get. The both of you walk up to Harry and you set Ava on the ground.

A slight circle forms as you three hold hands together. Just swaying. Sometimes letting go because Harry wanted to spin the two of you. It’s a beautiful image, you're sure. All the glee you could hold in your body transpires in the way you danced with them.

When you’re walking back to your hotel room, your arms are hooked with Harry’s and your head rests on his shoulder. An almost asleep Ava in his arm. He stops to bring his free hand around your neck, pulling you in for a kiss.

“Thank you for giving me this, I love you” he whispers against your lips.

Last night, after the dinner and the Hula, Ava had facetimed Nana. To be honest, she had wanted to say a goodnight to Milo, but talking to her grandmother was always a plus. She was still dressed in her outfit, you and Harry getting ready for the night, so you could then focus on her.

She sat up against the headboard, Your giant phone–– compared to her hands–– held in her tiny ones. You were looking through her duffle bag for her pyjamas when you heard…

“Look Mimi, I saved you chicken”, her small teeth bared, holding up a piece of her chicken from dinner. Your phone is now being propped up against a pillow.

You looked up to watch her pull a piece of chicken from her...pant pocket.

That was the point you reavulated yourself as a parent and had to think about what kind of kid you and Harry were possibly raising.

“Harry!” you called for him.

He walked out, an eyebrow quirked.

“Look.” you hiss, voice low.

‘God…’ Harry thinks. “Where’d she get that chicken from?” he asks, running his towel over his hair.

“Her pocket! Why are you so casual about this?”

“Angel...you had a baby with me, what’d you expect?” he questions, seriously questions you this.

“You’re fixing it then, Mr. mini-me”

Presently, you’re all at the beach. Three towels and three umbrellas lay in/on the sand. You’ve rubbed sunscreen on Ava twice now and have had to remind Harry three times. After last time there was no way you’d be rubbing aloe vera on him all night.

“Baby you’re dripping it.” You sigh, reaching over to wipe her chin of the chocolate ice cream she was eating, from a cup you might add. “Do you want me to feed it to you?”

“No, thank you” she replies, kicking her feet out.

You’ve all swam a bit, but now are on a mini break from the water and saw they were selling ice cream close by.

It’s pretty quiet between the three of you, too busy enjoying your treat.

She gasps, “Daddy you’re a fibber” Ava says indifferently, slurping even more of her ice cream from her spoon.

He guffaws, caught off guard from her statement. He shifts towards the two of you. The way the wind blows his hair and the sun makes the green in his eyes even brighter catches you off guard–– the sight of his abs doesn’t hurt either.

You also knew it wouldn’t be long until his hair gained some highlights and his freckles would be more prompt. You couldn’t wait.

“How’m I a fibber, messy?” squinting down at her.

“Look!”she points, “There’s a puppy right there”

There is, you turn your eyes to where her fingers point to see a woman walking a black Dachshund.

Harry turns his head towards him, a sad look on his face. “You’re right baby. I’m a fibber. I’m sorry”

Ava hurls from her seat to latch her arms around his neck, “It’s okay daddy, now Mimi can come next time” she tells him.

If there’s one thing about Ava, it’s how much she hates sadness. Unless it’s from her. Then it’s perfectly okay. She hates sadness so much, she particularly had a dislike for the character from Inside out. Until you had to explain to her how sadness is something that is okay and needed from time to time, Like in the movie.

After her round of affection towards Harry, she emplaces herself into his lap.

“Daddy. Mommy.”

You both hum an answer.

“It looks like a hot dog” she eyes the dog while it trots down the sand.

“It does huh?” Harry answers, brushing her flyaways back. All while you laugh into your palm.

Your hands feel tingly when you wrap it around Harry’s neck, pulling him into you. His head lays against your shoulder.

Definitely a vacation to remember and cherish.

if you enjoyed pls don’t forget to reblog or give feedback if ur up to it <3

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurbs #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #dad!harry #harry styles reader insert #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles drabble #harry styles writings #dad harry styles #harry styles angst #husband!harry #husband harry styles #dad harry styles x reader #harry styles x you

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mayansmcsblog · 3 years ago

Text

Her world or mine

I have no idea when i wrote this but i found it in my drafts half done so i finished it and- yh that's about it😅

This was meant to be based upon the song her world or mine but i got off track so its only loosely based upon it.

word count: 3640

Enjoy!

He hasn't used the truck for weeks, he had no reason to anymore, being in it only brought back memories of you. The long drives, the short drives too. The way you would hold his hand while he was driving or how you would remind him to pay attention to the road when he looked in your direction for too long. All the memories were fresh within his mind- almost as if it was yesterday.

Even now, he was only sitting in it, he had to do the beer run and obviously that couldn't be done on a bike, he had to take the truck, but all he could think about was how you used to sit in the passenger seat beside him. He could see it in his mind so vividly, if he didn’t know you had moved on he would swear you were sitting with him.

Looking at the dash his gaze caught the Polaroid photo that was still in its place next to the radio. Your face accompanied a smile whilst his had his usual ‘tough’ man expression, but if you looked close enough, you would be able to see a small smile placed upon his lips. You took it at one of the infamous Mayans parties, he remembered how it took you around 10 minutes to ‘convince’ him to take it, he wanted to take it from the moment you suggested it but he wondered how far you would go to get him to do it

“Please” you had been begging him for the last 5 minutes in attempt to get him to take a photo with you but to no avail

“No” you two were sitting on the bench outside the clubhouse, people surrounding the both of you, everyone was involved on their own conversations so neither of you paid any mind to them. Of course he was still aware of his surroundings but was more relaxed than usual

“But come on” you begged

“No y/n” he kept his face as straight as he could but you could slowly see a shadow of a smirk forming upon his lips

“Why?”

“No face no case” he shrugged with a slight smirk on his face, clearly that was a lie. Not even 20 minus prior you had taken a photo of all of the club members standing outside of the clubhouse per bishop’s request so he could frame it and hang it somewhere within the clubhouse to show off the members.

“Why are you so stubborn?”

“Why are you so adamant? “He questioned

“Because”

“Because what?” standing up he motioned for you to do so as well,

“Just because”

“Come on follow me”

Standing up you took this hand as led you away from the party,

“Where are we going?”

“To take this god damn photo”

Recalling that night he felt a pain inevitably run across his chest, sure you two were only friends when it was taken but that night was the foundation for building the relationship you two once shared.

Why had he been so stupid to let you go?

He knew he would have to drive past your place to get to the brewery, it was inevitable really. There was no other way unless he was going to drive an extra 30 minutes, which he didn't have time for.

when he reached the turn in to your street he slowed down a little, looking at your house from a distance he could see a car he didn’t recognize in the driveway. As he got closer he could see two people on the porch, he immediately recognized you accompanied by some guy.

Of course you had someone else.

-----

Sitting on the couch you couldn't help but let your mind drift back to him, you missed his smile, you missed the way he would have a running commentary while watching anything on the TV, you missed how he would hold you after a long day, you missed everything about him.

“You’re thinking about him again, aren't you?”

You did nothing but hum in response

Your brother had elected to stay with you for a few weeks while he was on a business trip for some type of expansion for the company he worked for. Originally it was a good idea, it kept you mind off Ez, but the more time your brother was here, the more he talked about his wife back home and how he couldn't wait to get back to her just made you think about how you don't have someone in your life to look forward to anymore, you no longer had someone you could tell everything to, someone who would stay by your side, someone you knew would be waiting for you when you were away from home. As much as you loved your brother, you were thankful he was leaving tomorrow

“Im gonna go get a drink” standing up you heard your brother mumble something in response but you elected ignored him and heading to the kitchen.

As you approached the fridge you spotted the picture of you and Ezekiel stuck on the door. You were pretty sure it was Coco who had taken when him, you, Ez and Angel went over the border for a day because none of you had anything to do and for some reason Mexico was the first thing that was suggested. You had been meaning to get rid of it but couldn't bring yourself to. Alot of memories were collected between the four of you, some of them you were just not ready to let go of yet.

By now he was probably already in another relationship so why were you still holding on?

Grabbing a bottle of water you headed outside and sat on the porch steps. You knew there was a party at the clubhouse tonight, Angel had invited you to come, but you knew Ez would be there.

Did you really want to see a girl all over him while you're still here alone? Because that would definitely happen

Maybe he wouldn't be there? Or maybe he would be too busy doing stuff to even realize you were there

You were too wrapped up in your own mind to even realize your brother had stepped outside till you heard a creak from the wood behind you

“Y/n?”

“Yeah”

“you okay?" He asked sitting beside you

“yep"

You two sat in silence for a few moments before he started talking once again

“I love you ye? Don’t let that boy ruin you. He lost you by his own fault. You did nothing” he rambled on about how you should have been treated better and how Ez lost the best thing he could ever have. But you knew he was wrong.

Ezekiel always treated you like a queen, your brother met him one time and barely spoke to him for longer than five minutes. As far as you were concerned you brother didn't know anything about him

While he was rambling you were looking into the distance, mainly just looking at the sky but you could have sworn you saw his truck drive past, but maybe you were just seeing things right? His truck wasn't the only one, there were probably millions of them.

The party was in full swing, people were everywhere, the room full of patches from all over. mass amounts of people from charters were visiting in celebration of a new deal with the sons, leaving Ez to tend the bar along with some hang rounds.

Wiping down the bar he couldn't help but think about you for the billionth time today. He knew you two broke things off but it didn't mean you had to leave everyone from the club behind as well as him.

"Bro what the hell is wrong with you?" Angel questioned

"Nothing" shrugging his shoulders he dropped the bar rag and turned to get angel a beer from the fridge behind him

"Stop lyin man, what's going on in that head?" Angel knew his own brother better then to believe 'nothing' was going on with him, something was always going on up in Ez's brain, even if he didn't admit it

"I dunno man, I just think it's weird how y/n left us you know?" Ez shrugged again, handing angel a beer

"She didn't leave us. She’s distancing herself. Got a lot of family shit going on right now" he explained, you kept Angel in the loop with everything, after all he was your best friend even before Ez and you got together, if Ez wouldn't tell you something- Angel would.

"Just think it’s weird" Ez repeated, messing with the bar rag once again

"Ya well she’s coming tonight”

Before Ez could respond coco stood next to Angel

"Who’s comin?"

The brothers looked at each other for a moment before angel came up with an idea

"Just some random bird for our boy scout to bed"

"My man," Coco chuckled "finally gonna get your dick wet huh?"

----

You knew this was a bad idea, you knew he would be here.

Was he going to be with another girl? Actually stupid question, of course he would be

Opening your phone you sent angel a text

‘I'm like five minutes out but i swear to God if you abandon me tonight i will hit you so hard that you can't remember anything for a week’

At least he would walk in with you so you weren’t alone right?

---

Angel stood up abruptly in the middle of a conversation he was having

"Where the fuck you going?" Coco questioned, lighting a cigarette from the chair he was sitting in

"Meet a friend"

"A friend huh?"

"Yeah...maybe you'll like her" Angel replied before grabbing his beer and retreating towards the door.

---

Walking through the gate you saw the front of the club littered with patches. Some of them were from different charters. Weird, angel never mentioned other charters visiting, by the look of the outside, you could only imagine the clubhouse itself is packed with people.

Scanning the crowd you spotted the person in question walking towards you

“Hey stupid face”

“good evening stupid head”

“that's basically the same thing i just said”

"oh shut up i couldn't think of insult fast enough”

Pulling you into a hug you couldn't help but feel a little more relaxed. Angel was always like an older brother to you, an annoying one at that but still a brother.

It had been weeks since you saw him, being back in his company made you feel safe again, almost like a sense of home

He placed a kiss on your temple “We missed you here”

“Yeah, I know” letting him go you looked around, mainly to see if any of the other guys were in sight but also to see if coco was around, expecting to be attacked as per usual.

Angel took notice of you scanning the crowd “He's inside”

“Hmm? Sorry I got no idea what you're on about”

Pulling you into his side he wrapped an arm around your shoulders “sure ya don't”

Walking inside you scanned the crowd once again, thankfully coco was nowhere to be seen for the moment and most of the guys were spread out around the room. Bishop and Taza were playing pool, Gilly and Creeper were sitting at the table in a conversation whilst hank sat opposite them looking at something on his phone, Ez was tending the bar like usual but this time he was accompanied by some hang rounds.

At least there isn't girls hanging off him yet

“C'mon let’s get a drink huh” angel lightly shoved you towards the bar playfully.

“No”

“No?” his eyebrows raised playfully

“No and if you try to make me go over there with you i promise i will embarrass you” you laughed

“Fine”

After he got the drinks you both sat at a table in the corner for a while talking, the majority of the topics were about what had been happening while you were distanced from everyone.

Eventually Coco spotted you two and joined in the conversation. you sat talking to the two of them while everyone else was up to their own things, you didn't mind, the both of them combined made for some very interesting storys, the conversation could never die. After around 10 minutes, Angel had left you two alone saying he “wasn't bout to listen to this shit ''- which was super ironic considering the topic of conversation was about modifications for a new bike coco had brought a few days ago

“How does your bike handle anyway? I heard they are bottom heavy and hard to manoeuvre sometimes” you questioned. overtime Ez had taught you some things about bikes, mainly when he was just rambling about random things not thinking you were really paying attention to what he was saying

“It’s alright i guess, sometimes it slips when I lean too far on corners, other times it tends to not wanna go the way I need to but other than that it handles pretty well, arms hurt like a bitch after long ride though” he explained

Nodding your head you understood where he was coming from, having your arms at that angle for hours must have taken its toll

“Ay '' he nodded his head towards someone behind you, Turning your head you saw it was Ez walking through the door with Angel, seemingly engrossed in some type of conversation they were having.

Despite spotting him earlier you only scanned over his appearance but now you actually took a good look at him, he looked different, not much but still different from before. His hair was in the same style but it little more grown out then usual, his facial hair had grown out a little too. His eyes had bangs underneath them and his face looked drained.

All in all he looked like shit.

“You know he’s not the same without you right?” bringing your attention back to coco you couldn't help but feel like you were to blame, maybe if you fought harder of him you two would have never split.

“You two spoke since?” he questioned

“Nope...I got a few drunk calls saying he was sorry but other than that. No” you shook your head.

After you two first broke up he called you around a week later rambling about something but since he was slurring his words- you could barely understand anything he was saying. You got about 2 voicemails of him saying he was sorry and how he fucked up but- you never spoke to him, never texted him back when he would ask you if you were coming to one of the parties.

“The amount of times we've had to stop him from drunk calling you is unreal”

Playing with the label on the beer bottle in front of you, you thought about what coco said- clearly Ez had attempted to talk to you at some point, but why? The whole breakup was because he needed “space” to deal with some things so why was he trying to talk to you?

“He wanted space, I gave it to him” you shrugged, slowly peeling off the label

“Didn’t mean you had to leave us too” looking up from the bottle you saw coco was now avoiding your gaze

“Yeah...I know” maybe it was wrong of you to drop everyone, but being around them would have only brought back memories of you and Ez. At the time it seemed like a good idea to distance yourself from all of the guys, but now, despite only being here for a hour, you could tell how much you really missed being around them.

“You know he’s walking over here right?” Dropping your head onto the table you let out a sigh causing coco to laugh “I’ll leave you two alone huh?” lifting your head up you looked at him with a facial expression as if to say ‘don’t leave me’ but he did anyway

“Y/n” his voice was low, almost as if he didn’t believe he was saying your name again

“Ezekiel”

“Can we talk?”

“We are talking” sitting up straight you turned in your seat to look at him. He looked even worse up close- the bags under his eyes were alot darker then they seemed from a distance, they made it appear like he hadn’t slept for days, you couldn’t help but notice he had a bruise slowly forming on top of his right eyebrow.

“What happened there?”

He looked confused for a moment till you pointed to his eyebrow

“Oh I erm…got into a fight.....with a wall” his eyes were trained onto the floor, almost like he was ashamed.

You hummed in response not sure how to respond without laughing

“So how have you been?” he questions

“Good i guess..how about you?”

“Alright I suppose”

What followed was nothing but silence between the both of you, neither of you knowing what to say. The sounds of other people talking and rock music became almost deafening as the two of you stayed silent

“Well this got really awkward fast” you spoke up causing Ez to laugh a little

“Yeah..yeah it did” he nodded

After a few more moments you stood from your chair “I'm just gonna-”

“Yeah go, i get it go ahead” he finished your sentence for you.

Nodding you quickly made your way outside, the yard was almost empty by now, people had either left for the night or had moved inside.

You spotted Angel sitting on the front steps fiddling with one of the rings on his hand while looking at something in the distance. You sat beside him in silence, neither of you even attempting to make conversation but simply just being trapped within your own minds.

When you and Ez broke up you knew things would change, you knew the two of you probably wouldn't be able to have the same conversations you would before, but you never expected them being so awkward.

Maybe it was just because the wound was still pretty fresh, after all it had only been just over a month

After a few minutes you heard the door behind you open as someone stepped out, seconds later a figure sat next to you, looking over you saw it was coco

“What we doin? havin a lil moment to yourselves” he asked lighting up a cigarette and offering the both of you one

“Yep” Angel responded, taking one and lighting it before looking somewhere in the distance once again. All three of you sat for a few minutes just looking at seemingly nothing in particular.

Maybe it won't be like this forever? At some point there has got to be a time where you can come to the club without feeling awkward because ez’s here.

You heard the clubhouse door open once more behind you and once again, you didn't turn around, but coco did

"Ay man sit" you heard him say as he snapped his fingers at space left beside him to whoever stepped out from the door. It didn't take long for whoever it was to sit down.

Much like he did with you and Angel, Coco offered the person a cigarette which they must of silently declined from the lack of verbal exchange.

There has to be a point when you and the club can all hang out together like before....there has to be a stage where you and Ez can talk like normal people without it being awkward….right?

Seemingly out of no were Coco spoke up, nodding his head towards two stacked benches on the opposite side of the yard "You think i could clear those in one attempt?"

Angel was the first to respond "Absolutely fucking not" he paused for a moment- looking where the benches were stacked "but I'd love to see you try"

"I bet $50 you fail and fall face first" someone spoke up, looking to your left you finally realized who stepped out earlier ..Ezekiel

"Bet, ill prove you wrong" coco stood, taking off his kutte and placing it on the stair rail "you two wanna place any bets?" Coco looked at you and Angel

"Nope, I'm good" you shook your head

"I bet $50 that you don't clear it" Angel responded

"You have no faith pretty boy" coco responded, shaking his head as he started to walk over to the benches

"This is going to end in a hospital trip" you stated making both Angel and Ez laugh

All three of you watched as coco seemed to examine the height of the two benches, planning the distance he would have to run to gain enough speed to propel himself over them and how he would land the jump

"You think he's gonna snap his nose again?" Ezekiel questioned

"Definitely" both you and Angel replied

All three of you watched as coco began to run towards the benches, from your angle it looked as if he could clear it....you were wrong.

Seconds later coco was laying face first in the dirt, one leg was on the floor while the other was stuck in a piece of wood on the bench that had broke underneath his weight

"I think i broke my nose" you heard coco exclaimed causing all three of you to laugh. The few people who were still outside drew their attention to the scene and started laughing too when they realized what happened.

"Ill go get some paper towels" you said, still laughing.

Maybe this was a sign nothing had changed between the four of you, that you could all still hang out and do stupid stuff like before

Maybe nothing has to change

-------------

An| hope you enjoyed this fic. Honestly have no idea why or when i started writing this but 🤷🏼‍♀️ . *sorry for any spelling or grammar errors or any parts that don't make sense. only scanned it before posting it*

ALSO- i swear part two to the prank war is coming! Its just talking awhile for me to find a way to describe to things going on as well as being busy with other stuff.

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haik-choo · 4 years ago

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karasuno first years out late w/ their s/o

request: Could you write how 1st years (yachi too pls🥺) going out with their s/o late at night ?

a/n: this is such a cute little concept i --

[KARASUNO FIRST YEARS OUT LATE AT NIGHT WITH THEIR S/O]

-tsukishima, kageyama, yamaguchi, hinata, yachi

tsukishima kei.

not gonna lie, he’s often awake late at night. he’s a night owl and doesn’t mind sacrificing his sleep to watch some youtube videos

occasionally, he even goes out late at night, slipping past his parents and brother’s room and softly closing the front door with his headphones covering his ears and his hands stuffed in his pockets

so when you text him at 3am and ask if he can go out with you to the convenience store, he agrees in seconds to meet you at the halfway point between your houses

wastes no time in putting on his sneakers and a hoodie; he wants to get there quickly so that you aren’t left out by yourself

tsukishima knows there’s creeps out there, which is exactly why he jogs to the halfway point and is relieved when he’s the first one there

as soon as he sees you in the distance he fast walks to catch up to you, and slips his hand into yours

he totally brings bluetooth earbuds so that you two can listen to the same music instead of his wired headphones <3 uwu

is always on the lookout for any weirdos, and if he spots someone eyeing you up he shoots them the nastiest glare

eventually wraps his arms around your shoulder while your hand is sitll in his and its that cute little thing where your arms is across your chest holding his hand </3

pays for whatever you get at the store, ignores your complaints and tells you to shut up when you continue to insist on paying

“im trying to be a good boyfriend for once, for the love of god PLEASE shut up”

secretly takes a candid photo of you at some point in the night and sets it as his home screen -- NOT his lock screen, and when you see it he outright denies having taken it

tsukishima: you told me to take a picture of you

you: stop lying i know you’re a closet hopeless romantic

convinces you to stop at the park and eat the snacks you both got there, music still humming in your ears as the moonlight washes you both in cool tones

tsukishima when he’s alone with you is so soft -- he literally kisses your hand and temple and mutters very softly “love you”

all in all, tsukishima kei is the perfect night-owl boyfriend to go on snack-runs with

kageyama tobio.

"why would i go out right now. do you know what time it is. i have practice in the morning”

kags really out here kinda hurtin’ your feelin’s ngl boy doesn’t understand the vibes LOL

honestly you probably woke him up, he’s asleep at like ten every night (even tho he still has homework to do he just flat-out ignores it LOL)

only agrees to go out walking with you because you said he could bring his volleyball and you’d toss a few for him....and also because he’s a little worried because it’s so dark out

doesn’t walk with you to the park but meets you there LOL

he deadass has his wholeass duffel bad with the ball, two waterbottles, two towelettes, volleyball sneakers and everything

“you know,,,,we’re not playing a game, right, tobio?”

“yeah???? and??? what’s your point”

acts nonchalant but is totally having fun and is lowkey glad you asked him to go out so late because it’s cool out, there’s no one to bother him, and you just look...really good under the stars

he’s not a cheesy person but...god you just take his breath away sometimes. not that he’ll ever say that though

you ask to take a break like thirty minutes in because you are LITERALLY dying meanwhile he hasn’t even broken a sweat (”you’re already tired? maybe you should workout more” “shut UP kageyama”)

you both sit on the bench, and you’re lowkey waiting for him to reach for your hand but they’re just folded in his lap as he stares out in the nothingness of night

kageyama can’t take a hint. we know this. he’s incapable of knowing what you want unless you flat out tell him; so you have to be a very honest person

he doesn’t even really initiate skinship, not because he doesn’t want to, but just because it never really crosses his mind

plus he doesn’t feel the need to constantly show affection because he thinks it’s obvious that he likes you

despite this, he is good at spotting weird people, and he’s pretty protective of you, so you’re completely safe with him. trust him, he’ll keep you safe

all in all, have patience and stamina because kags will play volleyball with you until you pass out. also, he loves you

yamaguchi tadashi.

is in bed by 11pm but doesn’t actually go to sleep until two am because he’s scrolling through tiktok on his phone

sees your text about wanting to go out for a late night walk and maybe go through the little forest near your house and automatically sends a text that says “ill meet you at your window! can you pack some snacks? :)”

he walks all the way to your house, even if it’s more convenient to meet halfway because he wants to protect you! he’s not the strongest nor is he the most intimidating, so all he really has to offer is his presence

despite not being strong nor scary, yams literally has eagle eye. you can’t tell me that he can’t read people in a heartbeat -- he’s extremely perceptive

also texts you to not bring a jacket because he’s bringing on of his own for you !!! so sweet what the hell

he waits at your front door and when you step out he automatically pushes his volleyball jacket into your hands and he takes the bag of snacks from you and sticks out one of his hands UGH such a gentleman

lets you ramble about anything and stares at your side profile as he listens

joins in with a few quips here and there but ultimately is pretty quite and lets you speak or lets the silence cozy into the conversation

sees that there’s a guy sitting on a bench up the road and he switches places with you so that you’re further away from the stranger

also wraps a protective hand around your waist until you both are past the random dude but yams will glance behind yall every once in a while

when you two reach the mini forest he ends up taking the lead claiming that he knows a good spot

and damn, he’s right

it’s a little clearing that is illuminated solely by the moonlight and he sets the bag of snacks down beside him before sitting down himself, apologizing for not bringing a blanket that you two could sit on

pats the spot next to him so that you sit right beside him and he leans back with his hand on yours ONGMIRG

is the super cheesy type and tells you that you look really pretty and that,,,he kind of wants to kiss you

you: *experiencing heart palpitations* and you did this for what.

yamaguchi: ...because i love you?

you: *K.O*

all in all, yamaguchi is the boyfriend that completely indulges your late-night escapades <3

hinata shoyo.

is either completely fast asleep and doesn’t see your text or was awake and not planning to sleep for the next five hours, no in-between

but if he’s awake and sees your text, he agrees right away and asks where you want to meet up and what time because homeboy probably has to bike to get there AgAGAGAGA

literally doesn’t even show up in sneakers. he’s wearing sandals and shorts with a short sleeve top

“i came in my pjs”

“i see that.”

asks if you two can bike around instead because he doesn’t want to have to wheel his bike around for like an hour

he tells you to hold on tight because the bike was built for one person, and when you press against his back his warmth is literally so,,,comforting

has no sense of awareness and will scream going down a hill in the middle of a neighborhood, no fucks given

so, no, he doesn’t notice any weriod people even if there are some around

you always end up running into some weird people and you get new interesting stories every other day because let’s be honest hinata is a magnet for crazy shit and crazy people (usually crackheads)

you both just ride around as he talks about his day, usually his sister always comes up in the conversation( “she asked me to marry you the other day” “doirhgAEROIHFGRE SHOYO WHAT” “what? i told her i would. i keep my promises!”)

after like thirty minutes he begs for a break and you stop at a little 24/7 ice cream store that is run by the sweetest elderly couple

you share a sundae because you don’t want to eat too much this late at night

he plops on the bench right outside the store with his bike leaning against the metal handles, and h snuggles up to you and watches you scroll on your phone

he talks a little here and there, but for the most part, he goes quiet, and it’s during this time where you’re unaware of his gaze that he just takes his time drinking in your features in the yellow light of the lamppost

he can’t read the mood most times, but this time he does, and he stays quiet, and he thinks to himself

that he really will marry you one day

all in all, hinata gives you the impulsive young teenage experience of late night bike rides while eating his fair share of ice cream

yachi hitoka.

another either or, except this time she’s either fast asleep or stressing over homework and the nine tests she has the next day

when you ask if she can go on a walk with you she’s hesitant because she doesn’t want to get in trouble with her mom and she’s a total goody goody and terrified of doing anything reckless; but then she remembers that her mom was on a business trip and so she, very cautiously, says yes

you: good. i’m outside your door btw

yachi: i never had a choice did i

you have to meet her at her house because she’s way too scared to walk by herself at night; she might even make you factime her as you commute because she’s worried for you

jumps at every little thing, even the crows cawing make her shit herself

instictively grabs onto your sleeve and nervously look around the entire time, to the point where she doesn’t hear what you say

so you offer to go to a little cafe that’s still open and right away she nods

she’s so adorable, she bows really deeply when you two walk into the store and apologizes for it being so late

and finally, because you two are safe, she’s calm and smiling as she sips at her strawberry smoothie

awkwardly and very shyly reaches out for your hand on the table and gently lays her palm on yours

canon: yachi totally has freckles and you can’t convince me otherwise

her face is red and her freckles are just on display you can’t help but coo at her and tuck some hair behind her ear because god could she get any cuter?

you two end up staying for like a hour and a half and very shyly she asks if you could walk her home

and this time on the walk she’s not overly cautious and seems to enjoy the nighttime breeze and your hand softly clasping hers

does that cute thing where she lays her head on your shoulder or arm while you both are walking and looks up at you through her eyelashes and asks if you could give her a kiss on the cheek </3

you: stop. please. im going to die.

when you’re at her door she literally just stands there awkwardly for a few seconds before tilting her head upwards and pressing her lips to yours and then promptly running inside

video calls you three seconds afterwards to make sure you get home safely

all in all, you might need to be the impulsive one, but yachi enjoys spending late night time with you more than she admits. also please kiss her thanks

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broiderie · 3 years ago

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Lost Princessa 2

Ok... part 2. Here it is. Remember to be gentle.

Please do not translate, repost, or steal any of my work. My mind is deranged enough without anyone else’s help. Thanks again to @drabbles-mc for letting me bounce ideas off you and helping with plot points.

Taza x Daughter!OC

Warnings: none (Let me know if I missed anything)

Megan meets the rest of the family....

Taza re-entered the conference room smiling and made his way over to sit next to Megan. “So, what’s your plan now that you’ve found me? I know what I would prefer, but I also don’t want to jump to conclusions.”

Megan sighed and pulled her long braid over her shoulder with a rueful smile. “Honestly... I’m not sure. I don’t honestly think that I got this far by planning anything.” She busied her nervous fingers by fidgeting with the end of her braid. “What would you like me to do? I understand that you may not want me around. I can disappear if that’s what your need. I honestly don’t know why I thought you’d want to know about me...”

Taza stopped her nervous rambling by covering both of her hands with one of his. “Megan, honey, breathe.” He waited for her to take another visible deep breath. “I’m glad that you’re here. I’m glad that you found me. I want to get to know my daughter.”

She smiled shyly up at him and blinked rapidly to clear her lashes of tears.

“Now. I have a ranch outside of Santo Padre. I’d really like it if you came home with me. It’s a bachelor pad, but we can make changes... we’ll do whatever you need.”

“Really? You... you want me around?”

“Yes, Chica. I want you around. My brothers too. You have a ton of men currently waiting to meet you down in the casino restaurant. We’ll get some food and then we can go get your stuff from where ever you’re staying and head out.”

She smiled brilliantly at him when he answered her, but her face fell when he mentioned getting her things. She cleared her throat, “There’s nothing to get.” She held up her battered backpack. “I’ve got everything here. And... um... I don’t have gas money or anything to contribute to the trip back. I used the last of it to get here this morning.”

Taza frowned at the small pack. It obviously didn’t hold much. Maybe a change of clothes or two, but not much else. Certainly not enough to get her across country like she had been. “Don’t worry about the money, Chica. It’s covered. We’ll have to stop and get you a helmet and jacket too. You can’t ride like that.”

She shook her head. “I can’t let you do that. That’s a lot of money to be spending it on me.”

“Mija- you’ll have to have a helmet. It’s the law and club rules. And you need a jacket to protect you too. I’m good, but everyone lays down sometimes and things happen on the road. I promise you this- it's not negotiable.” He squeezed her fingers gently. “Let’s go get some food. You’ll feel better.”

Taza stood and offered to carry her backpack, again noticing the lack of weight to it. Then he led her out of the room to meet his brothers. Her new family.

At the door to the restaurant, he paused and turned to face her head on. He nudged her chin up to make her look him in the face. “Listen, Chica, the men you are about to meet have been my family for a long time. They’re going to be your family too in time. They look rough, but don’t let them scare you. Any one of them would do anything to protect family and that includes you now.”

She smiled shyly and nodded. “I can hold my own, I think. I’m used to some pretty rough guys.”

“Thatta girl.” He checked his phone to find a text from Bishop to let him know that they’d commandeered the smallest dining room for an impromptu family dinner. “Let’s go eat.”

He led the way keeping a careful eye on his daughter. His mind buzzing. He had so many things that he wanted to know about her. He worried about how she would mesh with his brothers. She’d seemed so nervous and shy. He didn’t want the more intimidating ones to frighten here. He’d have to speak with them at Templo and ask them to be gentle as she adjusted to life with the club. He’d also warn the young bucks to keep their hands to themselves.

He opened the door and laughed as all heads whipped around to see them and silence fell. He guided Megan inside and shut the door putting her backpack down with their gear. Bishop must have filled the club in on what was going on. They were way too curious about this new face.

Bishop stood up smiling. “All sorted?” At Megan’s nervous nod he motioned to Taza to bring her around to a seat at the table next to him. There was an empty seat on the other side of her apparent chair for Taza.

Taza guided her quickly to sit. He stood behind her chair for a moment and squeezed her shoulders reassuringly. “So... this is Megan. She’s my daughter. Don’t you all swarm her at once. Give her a chance to breathe. She’s coming back with us so we can get to know each other. Mija, you already met Bishop and Hank. I’ll let you meet the rest of the guys at your own pace.”

At her tiny awkward wave, they all cheered and went back to eating and laughing. Taza seated himself next to her and Bishop resumed his seat on her other side. Across from her was a man that she didn’t know and Hank was across from Taza. The man she didn’t know had dark hair slicked back and was wearing a kutte just like all the others, but she could tell that he was different.

Megan smiled and offered her hand across the table. “Hi, I’m Megan.”

Alvarez smiled and shook her hand gently. “Marcus Alvarez. I’m a very old friend of your dad’s and a cousin of Bishop’s.”

Megan smiled sweetly. “Are you from Santo Padre too? Forgive me... I’m not sure how all of this works.”

Marcus laughed and took a sip of beer. “You’ll get there sooner than you think, but to answer your question- No, I don’t live in Santo Padre. I ride out of Oakland.” He tapped his charter flash. “Welcome to the family, sweetheart.”

Dinner continued with Megan slowly being introduced to everyone as they came by for Taza to introduce them. She tried to keep the names straight, but her mind was so tired that she knew that she’d screw it up if asked.

Taza kept a gentle conversation going with Megan throughout the meal. Nothing heavy. Just little things. He asked if there was anyone she wanted to contact to let them know that she was safe and she shook her head. “There’s nothing and no one left in Tennessee for me. I left my job bar tending the day before I started this way. Hoping for a fresh start.”

Taza nodded. “We can do that, Mija. Fresh start it is.”

When Taza drifted to go talk to Bishop and El Padrino, Hank noticed that Megan drank only water and hadn’t taken much in the way of food. Really only what Taza encouraged her to take some of. He leaned over the table to speak quietly to her. “You okay, Princessa? Need me to order you something else?”

She shook her head quickly and quietly murmured “I don’t have the money for this...”

Hank smiled sweetly and reached to pat her hands that were twisting a napkin on the table. “Oh! Don’t worry about that. Family dinner falls on the club’s dime.” He saw her visibly relax. “You haven’t had an easy trip, have you Princessa?”

She grinned a little as he gentled her along and started to hand her bowls to get food on her plate. “I think I currently have about five dollars in my pocket. I’m going to have to find a job quickly in Santo Padre so that I can pay Taza back for all the things that he says that I need.”

Hank shook his head firmly. “No. We’ll get you kitted out proper. Don’t you worry about that. We’re going to take care of you now. It’s what family does.”

Taza had gotten up and had his head together with Bishop and Alvarez while keeping Megan in his sight at all times. “Bish... I know we’d usually drive straight through to get home, but Megan can’t do that. She doesn’t even have a jacket, let alone the gear for that kind of ride. Plus she’s exhausted. I don’t know when the last time she slept was, but I’d bet that it wasn’t enough...”

Bishop nodded. “Yeah. I noticed that. Where do we need to go to pick up the rest of her gear?”

Taza sighed. “We don’t. All she’s got is that backpack and it’s not even half full. I haven’t gotten a straight answer as to where she’s been staying. To be honest, I’m not sure that I want to know. I get the feeling that I won’t like her answer.”

Bishop sipped his beer and kept his eye on el pacifidore as he seemed to gently urge their newest family member into eating something. “Hmmm. You’re right. She looks exhausted. It wouldn’t be a good ride for her even if she had gear. Not tonight anyway. But there’s also no sense in keeping the entire club here overnight.”

Marcus smiled. “I agree. Why not keep a small group here and the rest roll out? The smaller group can follow in the morning so no one rides alone. I’d say put her in the van but that’s not an option with the weapons currently in there. She’s family, but let’s not scare her just yet.” He stretched his back. “I’ll admit, I was dreading the night ride myself, so I’m willing to roll out with the smaller group tomorrow.”

Taza laughed. “We aren’t as young as we used to be.” He finished his beer and grimaced. “I have to take her home to the ranch in the shape I left it. I’ve been at the clubhouse so much with this Galindo shit that it’s barely habitable for ME.”

Bishop patted his brother’s shoulder. “It’s settled. You’ll stay here with El Padrino and... two others?” He looked at Marcus questioningly.

“Yeah. Two would be good.”

“So let’s say... Hank and... who else?” Bishop gestured to the rest of the table. “Hank’s good with her already.”

Taza observed the rest of the club for the moment, trying to see them from an outsider’s point of view. He didn’t want anyone too intimidating. “Can’t be Creep. Road Captain goes with the larger group so he can drive the van...”

Marcus laughed. “Can’t be the prospect either. He’s gonna go clean Taza’s house before we get there.”

Taza’s face lit up at that idea. “Yes! I want him to move my shit while he’s there. Put her in the master. Girl deserves her own bathroom.”

Bishop laughed and stroked his beard thoughtfully. “What about Coco? Hank’s supposed to be keeping an eye on him anyway.”

Both Marcus and Taza nodded. “That’s set then. Everyone else head out after dinner. The new princessa’s escort will be Taza, Hank, Coco and myself. We’ll head out tomorrow morning after a shopping spree. We’ll keep you in the loop, but we gotta take it easy on her. We may be late.” Marcus patted the table and stood. “I’ll go arrange accommodations with the tribe.”

#mayans mc fanfic #Mayans MC #taza x daughter!OC #che taza romero #fanfic #lost princessa

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savoies · 4 years ago

Text

three times you told sidney if he wanted kids and one time you told him you were gonna have a kid.

Pairing: sidney crosby x reader.

Summary: the title says it all.

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: maybe one bad word and hints of sex.

A/N: thank you to caitee@pierreslucdubois for helping bring up this idea and enjoy my first 3 + 1 fic. also the current divisions aren't present here.

taglist: @nhlpetey @mitch-slap @frostythegoalman @ryanssuzuki @aria253264 @josty @kaitieskidmore1 @kiedhara @laurenairay @teenagekook @alxvlasic @hockeyallthetime @barzy-baby @officialgritty @bowenbyram @mems06 @joshsandersons @connormcdavo @maattamatthews @pierreslucdubois @selenophileangel @boqvistsbabe @ana-maa @stars-canucks @quinnhughxs

tagging some buds: @npatrickz @beauvibaby @heybarzy @tkachuk-yeah @cozycozzy @2manytabsopen

(*credit to gif owner*)

You and Sidney had been dating for a few years now. Seeming more like a married couple overall anything. No one really talking about what the next step was or what your future would look like. Honestly with Sid it was more about just seeing what was to come and that everything would come when the time was right. Being basically somewhat married already except not having the title, rings, and wedding.

It was your three year anniversary. Both of you really not wanting to do anything special since you were kind of over that. He had practice earlier in the day but had asked his coach if he could leave a bit earlier.

You at home making your guy's favorite meal. Setting up everything before he arrived home.

~~~

Much later after the meal and a few glasses of wine both of you sat on the couch ignoring the sound of the television and just talking about whatever came up, and for you it was kids.

"Hey Sid have you ever thought about having kids?" You looked questionably at your boyfriend not really ever having brought it up before.

"I mean yeah of course. Teaching them how to play hockey like how my dad taught me, why?" He asked as his soft smile was illuminated by the light of the tv.

"Just curious" You said as you placed your head on his shoulder and watched whatever silly rerun was on tv.

II.

Before Sidney had gone on a road trip you had spent the night and most of the day in your room. Wanting to spend every single minute together trying to memorize every single inch of each other like you guys didn't already know everything about the other.

Bringing you to one month later. Sidney currently being somewhere on the West Coast and you standing in your bathroom waiting for the five minute timer to go off.

You had been feeling sick the past few days. Thinking maybe it was something you ate but it sooned dawned on you as your friend was talking about her pregnancy symptoms.

So now here you stood in your bathroom. Waiting. And waiting. And waiting. You had texted Sidney earlier just a quick text along the lines of a hypothetical situation of you being pregnant and what his reaction would be which he replied to with a simple id be excited.

Now weren't sure how to feel as the timer went off. Did you want to be pregnant? Were you gonna be sad if you weren't? Was Sidney gonna be okay with you not being pregnant? Your breath unsteady as you turned around the test and saw that it only had one line indicating that you were in fact not pregnant.

You let out a breath but you felt a sadness overcome you. Then you remembered what Sidney always told you. The right time will come.

III.

Baby showers. Some people loved them and some people hated them. Honestly some people just thought it was a way for women to tell their husbands they wanted another kid.

Your friend had been expecting and now here you were at her baby shower/gender reveal with Sidney.

Both of you sitting in one of the corners of the backyard participating in all the silly baby shower games.

Sidney seemed to be quite into them more than you and you laughed at his enthusiasm to win the prizes.

"Sidney honey you do know you don't have to play every game right." Your eyebrow raised as he had his nose stuffed into a diaper trying to guess what chocolate was smeared on it.

"I don't know about John over here but I want to win the prize." He said as he pointed over at your other friend's husband currently in the same situation as Sidney in trying to guess the chocolate.

You laughed as you got up to get a drink and stood by the table overlooking everyone and in the corner of your eye you saw your very pregnant friend waddling to you.

"Y/N!! I'm so glad you are here." She smiled at you definitely having that pregnancy glow that everyone talked about.

"Happy to be here. This all turned great. " you smiled.

"So are you next?" She looked up at you with her eyebrow raised.

You choked on your drink as you processed her words. You definitely did not expect to be asked about kids at her baby shower.

"Wait have you and Crosby not talked about it?" She looked at you as she registered your reaction.

"We have a few times but it hasn't come up recently." You looked over at him still trying to beat your friend's husband in another game.

"Hey Crosby." Your friend yelled across the lawn as she waddled to your boyfriend.

"So you planning to knock up Y/N soon?" She crossed her arms as both of your eyes widened.

"Oh my gosh, i can not believe you just said that." You said shaking your head.

"Well we aren't really trying right now but if she gets pregnant then i'd be happy." He said as he looked at you and smiled.

Sidney had just gotten back from a game. One of the games that really mattered. The season was wrapping up meaning they needed to step their game up and try to get as many wins as possible.

Of course Sidney being Sidney came back with a win. And couldn't wait to show you how much your support meant to him.

You had taken a test earlier in the day after he left. Having been more hopeful this time since your symptoms were definitely stronger.

Now here you sat on the couch waiting for him to walk through the door and tell him that your life was about to be different.

"Y/N babe i'm home." He spoke up as he set his things down.

"In the living room." You yelled back. "I need to tell you something." You said as you patted the seat on the couch next to you.

"Oh ok. Everything ok?" He asked as he searched your eyes for a sign.

"Yeah, at least i think so. Can you close your eyes for me please." You said as you grabbed his hands, opened it, and placed the pregnancy test on them.

"Ok you can open them now." You said.

"Wait. No. Are you serious? Is this for real? Are you fucking with me?" He asked as his thoughts registered in his mind.

You shook your head as a few tears pricked at your eyes.

"You're pregnant." He said as he hugged you tightly. "Oh I'm sorry, can't be hurting the baby." He said with the biggest smile on his face. Sidney was right, the right time did come.

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princessphilly · 3 years ago

Text

All Bets Are Off Chapter 12

Word Count:

Tag list: @ohpuckyeah, @joelsfarabee, @besthockeyfics. @dreamer1430 @defiant-mouse @miracleonice87 @lovethepreds @linkingdolans @chicagostylehockey @heatherlcrosby87 @hockeywocs @shortstacks-blog @heatherawoowoo @newlibrary @markymarkstrom @iangiemae @puckbitchesgetmoney @missymore @himbos-on-ice @fiveholegoal @no-pucks-given @pagirl6866 @willieshakesqueer @nazdaddy @whatishockey @alphalib22 @romanseggy @laurenairay @konecny-s @cutiesara23 @myhockeyworld87 @extratragic @squidlywiddly87 @stuff4me2do @allinangel93 @mydarkestsecretlol @t0xickisses2

Join the tag list here!

CW: smut, filthy talk

This is a bit of a filler chapter, sorry.

“Are you going to miss me?”

Nina didn’t even look up from her iPad. It was so annoying yet adorable at the same time, how Sidney was desperately trying to get her to tell him how much she was going to miss him.

��Um, I think you’re going to miss me more than I’ll miss you,” Nina finally replied. She grinned as Sidney huffed.

The first month of the new year had passed by pretty quickly to Nina. After being together for New Year’s Eve, Nina and Sid separated as the Pens had to finish off their road trip. Nina stayed in Miami for Jason’s game before taking an extra week just for herself. It was nice to have a bit of a vacation, especially when Lauren flew down. Nina basically enjoyed being on the beach, hanging out with a close friend, and shopping.

The morning of New Year’s Day, after having their first breakfast together of the new year, Sid had given Nina a card. Nina was shocked to see a credit card with her name on it and she had tried to give it back but Sid had insisted. “You don’t treat yourself enough, pretty girl,” he had firmly stated. So Nina took advantage of it to treat herself a bit.

By the time she came back to Pittsburgh, Sidney’s road trip was over but Nina’s semester had started. They had a couple of weeks where they spent time together as much as possible before the Pens had another short road trip. Now, Sidney was on his way to the Olympics in Beijing for their longest separation so far.

Sidney finally had his bag packed the way that he liked it. Glancing at Nina laying on their, um, his bed, he drawled, “Are you sure you aren’t going to miss me?”

Nina looked up and giggled. “You hog the sheets, Sidney. And you’re like a furnace when you sleep.”

Sidney walked over to the bed, crouching over Nina. “Hurting my feelings right before I have to take a long flight. Tsk tsk.”

“Your flight leaves tomorrow. You’re just making sure you are totally prepared tonight. Stop being so dramatic, Sidney Crosby.”

Sidney smirked as he brushed a hand down Nina’s front. She was clothed, wearing one of his t-shirts. “Still, Nina.

“Still, Sidney.”

Nina stuck out her tongue at Sidney as he giggle-honked. Sidney brushed an errant strand of hair off of Nina’s forehead as he whispered, “I wish you were coming.”

“It was too short of a notice to take almost three weeks off, Sid,” Nina murmured. “Plus, hasn’t it always just been your family attending the Olympics?”

“Yes?”

Nina smiled. “Then, I would be breaking your tradition and your superstitions-”

Sidney opened his mouth to disagree but Nina put a finger over it. “Don’t even start, we both know how important ALL of your superstitions are. Even if you wouldn’t say it, if you lose without a gold medal and I'm there, part of you would be wondering. So quit the bullshit, Sidney.”

Sidney gave Nina a chagrined smile as she laughed at him. She was right, as always.

“Sid, it’ll be fine. You’re lucky I’m a morning person, you can call me crazy early here and I’ll pick up,” Nina reasoned.

Sidney pouted a bit. “I finally got you to actually date me, I don’t want to be separated from you for that long.”

“How cute, Mr. Obsessed-with-Hockey has become soft in his old age.”

Nina squealed when Sidney tickled her, squirming. “Okay, okay, you’re allowed to become soft!”

Sidney gave Nina a soft smile and she gulped. Something shifted in that look and Nina felt like there was something new.

Sidney bit his lip as Nina nervously laughed. In that moment, the pure joy on Nina’s face as she squealed while he tickled her, Sidney was sure that he loved her. He loved Nina. But this was the wrong time to admit that. So he chuckled and said, “If I’m soft, it’s only because of you.”

Nina stuck out her tongue and rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

Sidney chose not to respond to that statement, instead choosing to slide his lips over hers. Soft and sweet, exploratory as they kissed, not their usual hungry kisses. Then Nina wrapped a leg around Sidney’s waist and the mood changed.

Nina ended the kiss first, whispering, “I can feel that someone is going to really miss me.”

“Going to miss you so much,” Sidney replied, grinding his hips into Nina’s core. “Let me show you.”

Nina gasped as Sidney sucked along her neck, just light enough not to leave any marks. “Gonna give you something to remember while I’m gone,” Sidney promised as his hands went under her shirt before pulling it off.

Nina grinned before moaning as Sidney began to do exactly what he promised to do.

Sidney sighed as he sent the text. Everything was going great, even after a couple of hiccups in their first group stage games. This year, it was obvious to Sidney that this was going to be the last Olympics for him. Except for him, Tazer, Bergy, Tanger, Webs, Price, and Giroux, all of the other players on the team were under 30. Sidney saw his job as captain this year to not just get one more gold, but get the younger guys ready to take over.

Right now, they were getting ready to play against Germany, their first game after the group stage, the real games. It was before pregame; the players whose families had come to Beijing were giving well-wishes. At this moment, Sidney wished Nina was here with him instead of home in Pittsburgh.

His phone pinged and Sidney relaxed when he saw the message: its midnight here. Good luck. Im g2g2 sleep. Bye

That message was quickly followed by another one: why the hell did they schedule yall for so fucking late? figured canada would be primetime here

Sidney laughed when he saw Nina’s message. Giroux looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “Must be the elusive girlfriend.”

Giroux’s wife elbowed him, causing him to say ow. Sidney snickered; they may be teammates for Team Canada but their truce was still a fragile truce. Ryanne Giroux said, “I heard Nina’s very sweet and kind.”

“Oh?”

Sidney was suddenly very curious. Blithely, Ryanne replied, “You know as well as I do it’s a small league. People only have the kindest things to say about her.”

Relaxing a bit, Sidney grinned. “Nina’s pretty fucking amazing. I’m lucky she likes me.”

“Oh God, he’s talking about Nina again.”

Sidney’s grin turned into a smile as Tanger clasped him on the back. Tanger continued, “It took five years-”

“Five years,” Giroux asked as Sidney groaned. “Stop giving him chirp material.”

Ryanne snickered as Sidney’s phone pinged again; kris says ur bragging about me again?

“Really, Tanger, really?”

Kris laughed as Sidney narrowed his eyes. “Calm down, Sid.”

Before Sidney could reply, Nina sent him another text: score a hat trick

Sidney gave his phone a soft smile. It was time to get focused for the game, so Sidney put his phone away as soon as he went back into the locker room.

Nina cracked an eye open. The time difference was a motherfucker; it was 5:45 am but 5:45pm. Yawning, Nina sat up in her bed as she accepted the call from Sid.

“Nina, really?”

“Good morning to you,” Nina yawned.

Sid slightly frowned. Nina was wearing a team USA t-shirt. Her shorts were blue. Even her sleep bonnet was blue.

“I’m not Canadian, Sid.”

“Stilll-“

Nina smirked as she shook her head. “No, I’m not rooting for you. Score as many goals as you want, I’m Team USA.”

Sidney scowled as Nina laughed. “It’s not even like the US made the gold medal game!”

Nina was disappointed in Team USA. She was hoping they would make it to the gold medal game but they were going to go against Finland for Bronze. Tomorrow, at 8am Beijing Time, 8pm EST, Canada was going against Sweden for gold.

“Still, you should be rooting for me.”

“I am,” Nina reasoned. “I want you to score all the goals. But, I just cannot root for Canada, yet.”

“Yet.”

Nina looked up to the ceiling before yawning again. Sidney was in a snit. She felt a tiny bit bad for Sweden because they were going to get it. But that wasn’t her problem. “Seriously, good luck, Sidney.”

“Thank you, Nina.”

Nina blew Sidney a kiss and he pretended to catch it. Then he licked his lips. “How many days did you take off when I get back?”

“Three, Sidney. Just three.”

Nina couldn’t help the rush of heat in her center when Sidney drawled, “I don’t plan to let you out of my house then.”

“Win the damn gold then,” Nina snapped.

Sidney chuckled, saying, “You’re ready to go back to sleep then. Sweet dreams, Nina.”

“Bye, Sid.”

Nina looked down at her phone. There were three messages, long messages, all from Sid. She took in a deep, fortifying breath. Canada had one gold and Sidney had two goals. From the highlights, it seemed like Sidney was on a mission the whole game. Sighing, Nina pressed play on the first one. It was just a noisy celebration, nothing big until Sidney started talking. His talking was garbled at first and Nina laughed when she realized that he was drunk off his ass when he called her.

The second voicemail started just as garbled, then Nina heard Sidney clearly say, “I’m so happy we won, I still wish you were here, you’re my new lucky charm, pretty girl. Fuck, I love you so much, pretty girl, you make everything better now that you’re mine.”

The next one was just sappy as the second, but Sidney was definitely somewhere quieter with this one. But he was also just as drunk, as he ended by saying, “I wanna fuck you when I get back, with you wearing my gold, pretty girl. This gold is almost as pretty as you.”

Nina ruefully laughed, already expecting apologetic texts from Sidney when he was sober. But for the rest of the day, the thought lingered in her mind, the idea that Sidney loved her. However, her patients kept Nina busy and she didn’t get a moment to really ruminate on that. Then, Nina went over to Karesha’s house to babysit her play nephew, AJ, as Karesha went out with her boyfriend.

Within an hour of leaving, Karesha came back in, heated as she slammed the door. AJ commented, “He must have made Mom mad again.”

“AJ, please go upstairs and play with your Legos, Mommy needs to talk to Aunt Nina,” Karesha asked, trying hard to control her voice.

AJ quickly ran up the stairs, loudly closing the door to his room. Karesha flopped on the couch, kicking off her expensive heels. “Fuck men.”

Nina got up and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses. Pour shots, she passed one to Karesha before sitting back down next to her friend. Karesha gratefully smiled before downing the shot.

“I’m tired of this shit. I told him it was over through text. How dare he say he’s coming up to Pittsburgh before spring training and then text me after I get to the restaurant to say he’s not coming after all. I’m done. I can’t.”

Nina murmured sympathetically, “Fuck him.”

“I’m so glad I never brought him around AJ though,” Karesha stated. “He had the nerve to say I spent too much time with my kid when I told him it was over.”

Nina’s eyes widened at that statement. “What are you supposed to do? Parent him less?”

Thoughts about Sidney were forgotten as Nina consoled her friend. Deciding to sleep over, Nina woke up early in the morning on the couch, several texts from Sidney waiting for her. Nina quickly scanned over them, starting with a text telling Nina his flight was about to come in to the last one asking if everything was okay. Nina sent him a message: friend had a crisis, be over around 10

It was early, around 7am so Nina didn’t expect to get a response. But Sidney replied: everything ok?

As ok as it’s gonna be, don’t worry, Nina sent back before straightening up Karesha’s living room. She then slipped out, locking the door from the inside.

“Gonna get you full with my cum, pretty girl. Fuck, look at you, your pussy already trying to milk my cum.”

Nina groaned as she watched Sid fuck her, claiming her. Her legs were over his shoulders, allowing Sidney to fuck her deep. “You missed me, pretty girl?”

“Uh huh,” Nina managed to say. He was fucking her so good, each stroke hitting her g-spot. It was like Sidney returned as a man on a mission.

“I missed you. Dreamed of you every night, Nina,” Sidney rasped.

“Mmmm.”

Nina no longer had words, she could feel her high coming. Then she felt Sidney’s fingers, just two fingers on her clit and it was enough to send her over the edge. Nina screamed, her nails digging into Sidney’s back. That was enough to get Sidney to reach his high as well, his grunts wordless as he came.

Nina sighed as Sidney withdrew, already sad at feeling empty. Sidney sat back on his haunches, watching as his cum started to leak out of Nina’s pussy. “I’ll never get enough of seeing that,” he remarked as he played with Nina’s clit. “Just for me, pretty girl.”

Moaning, Nina closed her eyes. She was sensitive but she felt herself respond to Sidney’s fingers. Then his fingers were replaced with his tongue, his fingers fucking his cum deeper inside of her pussy and the time for rational thought was gone.

Six weeks later

Nina sighed as she rifled through her bag for the keys to her apartment. Today was her thirty-first birthday and for some reason, she felt weird. ‘Maybe it’s because I’m now on the other side of thirty,’ Nina thought to herself.

The morning began with happy birthday texts from friends, birthday calls from Mom and Dad, and a facetime call with Jason. Sidney had sent her a funny meme birthday text but nothing else. Nina knew she shouldn’t feel too bad; the Pens were trying to solidify their playoff spot in the division and her birthday, April 5, fell right at the end of the season. As she opened the door, Nina hoped that Sid would at least do something once the playoffs were over. At the same time, it felt weird that she wasn’t going out with her parents either.

Just her luck that for the first time she was in a relationship around her birthday, her boyfriend had reasons not to take her out. Nina sniffled as she turned on the light.

“SURPRISE!!”

Nina gasped as Sidney, Kris, Geno, Anna, Catherine, Taylor, Alex, Victoria, Mario, Nathalie, Guentzy, Tristan, Hannah, Karesha, AJ, Lauren, her mom and dad, and Aryanna jumped out. Eyes wide, Nina burst into tears.

“Oh no, what’s wrong pretty girl,” Sidney replied, folding Nina into his arms.

Nina sniffled as she cried, “I thought everyone forgot my birthday!”

“I told you she wasn’t going to take it well,” Karesha muttered as Lauren kicked her. “Girl, be happy he did this all for you when he could be extra obsessive about the playoffs.”

Nina cut her eyes at Karesha before getting on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Sid’s cheek. “Thank you, Sid.”

The pictures of that night were put into a small scrapbook. Nina didn’t understand Sidney’s love for documenting memories in such a dramatic way but it was nice to look back at the memories in book form instead of having to scroll through her phone. Playoffs were now starting though so Nina was sure that would be the last carefree time until the playoffs were over, this time hopefully with another cup.

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weasleydream · 3 years ago

Text

unfairness

here it is, my participation to @omgrachwrites writing challenge! once again, congrats for 1k love, so happy for you!!

the prompts were “I’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.” ; “I really want to kiss you right now.” “Do it then.” and “This is all in my head. It’s all happening in my head.”

As usual, feel free to like, comment, reblog and enjoy!

TW: the end can be a bit violent

masterlist

We had realized our relationship wasn’t as bright as we had thought when an umpteenth rumor about us had spread between Hogwarts’ walls, at some point during our sixth year of school. It wasn’t the first, far from that, but it was definitely the worst because it also involved this Ravenclaw guy whose name was still unknown to me at the time. As far as I could tell, there had always been jealous girls that had tried to get Fred to dump me, and plenty of boys that wanted to convince me that they had more to offer than the Weasley boy. The only difference with this rumor was that Fred kinda despised said Ravenclaw boy because of a Quidditch match the year before, and he had turned his nervousness into a burst of anger I hadn’t anticipated. Problem is that, at the same time, I had heard Angelina telling Katie that Lee had told her that George had implied that Fred was seeing someone else, and just everything that had happened that year had gotten the best of me.

Our first break up had occurred a week after we had heard about these rumours, and during the rest of our sixth year and most of our seventh until now, we had ended our relationship twice more.

The worst in all of this was that I loved Fred. So fucking much. I loved him and I was ready to do anything for him, and I knew it was the same for him, but it was just not possible to keep a relationship as ours was. We didn’t have the same interests at all, Fred was obsessed with his shop project and me with the learning of defense against the dark arts (through Dumbledore’s army, of course). He was nonchalant and sometimes forgetful, I was fussy and very sensitive. When one of us was too busy, a date planned was quickly forgotten and the fight very likely to happen.

That’s why, as I was in my dorm trying to choose what to wear, the main question in my mind was to know if it was worth it. A few clothes were scattered on my bed, and two pairs of boots were thrown on the floor. It had been almost half an hour and I only had twenty minutes left before having to join Fred who would probably be waiting for me in the common room. I had hoped this little preparation session would help me ease my terrible mood but it seemed that it was a fail. Finally opting for comfortable jeans and one of Fred’s sweaters - even though we were almost in June, the week had been a bit cold - I spent the rest of my time reading again some transfiguration notes. I headed downstairs exactly twenty minutes later only to find the common room completely empty.

“Of course…” I muttered.

As soon as the portrait opened, the noise in the corridors broke the silence I had been plunged in for an hour. Some people were talking about the coming exams, others about the next class they would have. Not once did I hear my name in a conversation, which had become quite rare with the time. I had learned the hard way that people always had something to say about my relationship with Fred, and if there wasn’t any tasty gossip, then inventing one wasn’t a problem.

I found Fred in the great hall, sitting with George, Ron and Harry. They were all talking about something that had to be classified as a defence secret considering how they suddenly became interested in everything that wasn’t me. Ron and Harry turned to Hermione, who was sitting at the table behind them, and George patted Fred’s shoulder before nodding at me and leaving without a word. It was usual, this taciturn behaviour George had when I was here; we had never gotten along that well, and if I was being honest, it was probably another problem between Fred and I.

We headed outside and took the road to Hogsmeade. We were walking next to each other, our hands brushing every now and then without ever really touching. The distance had become natural, touches were rare now and it was in moments like these that I hated it the most. Hating on the happy couples we saw on our way was easier than trying to find something nice to talk about, so that’s what I did. Fred looked like he was lost in his world and he only gave me some attention when he pushed the Three Broomsticks’ door for me. We found a table against a window, which provided a nice warmth, and Fred put his jacket on the chair.

“Butterbeer or hot chocolate?”

“You know the answer.” I said, playing with my sleeve.

“So it’ll be hot chocolate with chamallows for the damsel.”

He left with a smile to order our drinks, leaving me alone for a good five minutes. When he came back, a pint of butterbeer in one hand and a mug of hot chocolate in the other, I had had plenty of time to ruminate over everything I had decided to talk about with him during the past two days. However, the chuckle that shook his shoulders when he told me about the guy who had just tripped with three bottles of butterbeer in his hands stopped me. It could be a good afternoon, and these were too rare for my liking. It happened of course, our relationship wasn’t absolute hell, but it had definitely worsened with the time.

“Y/N, you okay? You look quite pale.” Fred was looking at me with concern in the eyes. “No, don’t tell me: I bet a galleon you’ve been working on your potion essay until very very late at night. How right am I?”

“Very right,” I muttered before passing a hand on my face. “I don’t get it. How can you spend so little time on your work without being at least a little bit nervous?”

“You know I don’t really care about all of this. I’ve got other priorities and bigger ambitions.”

“I know, but you’ll need this knowledge, won’t you?”

Fred was keen to avoid another argument, and he sighed loudly.

“We’ve already talked about this Y/N, George and I can do without all this scolar stuff. Plenty of people have done that already.”

“I know, I know.”

“I’m sorry we’ve spent all that time arguing.” added Fred after a pause. “It’s not time we can gain back.”

“Maybe we can’t,” I began cautiously, “but we can try to do better. Try not to lose more time.”

“It’s not like we have more time to lose anyway.” Another pause. “Do you want to take a walk? Looks like it’s getting warmer outside.”

We got up and exited the pub. Indeed, the sun was higher in the sky and its rays weren’t hidden by clouds. The warmth on my face was more than welcome, and the pleasant sensation made me forget Fred’s last sentence.

This time, he grabbed my hand and we exchanged jokes on the way back to the castle. We bumped into a few friends and even one or two professors, but most of the time it was just Fred and I. Until the moment we arrived near the castle entrance, that is.

“Hey Y/L/N, how are you?”

A Slytherin guy stepped in front of me, obliging me to stop and pull on Fred’s hand. The least I could say was that he didn’t look pleased at all with the interruption. The Slytherin didn’t look like he gave a care and kept smiling at me.

“I was thinking, we could go to Hogsmeade together one of these days. I mean, I guess you want to cover your back, so I’m here if-”

I wanted this pretentious git to shut up, and it looked like Fred had read in my mind because his fist collided with the nose of the guy with a disgusting noise of cracked bone.

“That’s what you get for trying to ask my girlfriend out.” he muttered before grabbing my hand.

I should have said something, whether thank you or are you crazy? but in all honesty I was trying to calm my heart, which was beating like crazy. It was rare to hear such words from Fred’s mouth or so it had become, but hearing him calling me his girlfriend, punching a guy that was hitting on me, that gave me hope for our couple.

And it made it even more painful when, a few weeks later, Fred left Hogwarts with George on his broom without a word to me. Without something as simple as a glance behind. All I could do was watch helplessly as he saluted Peeves and flew away and try to process the fact that he was giving up on me. Did that mean that we weren’t together anymore? That he had decided on his own he had enough of me, that I wasn’t worth the effort? It’s right here, alone in this crowded corridor after the most crazy departure from the castle we had witnessed, that I understood the meaning of what Fred had told me back at the Three Broomsticks, during our last date. It’s not like we have more time to lose anyway. What an idiot I had been! Here I was, thinking he was talking about the war, persuaded that he was just being extremely pessimistic, when he was in fact confessing that he was going to leave the castle and basically dump me without having the decency to assume it in front of me! I got back to my dorm, trying my best to keep a neutral face as I knew most of the students I would bump into were going to search for the slightest ounce of pain on my face. I only let my walls crumble when I got to the common room, and the first sobs left my mouth when the door of the dorm was closed.��

I threw myself on my bed and grabbed the pillow that I wedged underneath my chest. The anger would come later; for now, I needed to cry as many tears as I had in stock. I stayed in my bed the rest of the day, did surprisingly well in faking sleep when the dorm filled, and spent an agitated night. When I got up the next morning, my first thought was to wonder why my head was so heavy and painful, and when I remembered, my second thought was that it was time for anger. I grabbed my prettiest shirt, slipped in a particularly fitting pair of jeans, and watched myself in the mirror, hoping to fool people enough to avoid questions. At the sight of my dull skin, my eye bags and my glossy eyes, I realized the most beautiful clothes in the world wouldn’t make me feel better, so I sighed, grabbed my bag, sighed again and left the dorm with one goal: forgetting Fred Weasley, my love for him and the pain he had caused me.

_ _ _

A few months later, it had become very obvious that I had failed that goal. I was still full of resentment toward Fred and what he had done, and I was able to get really irritated when someone reminded me of him in any way. The fact that I had gotten involved completely in the Order and that most of his family was in it too didn’t help at all and it had led to a few encounters I would have given anything to avoid. Fortunately, he was busy with his joke shop and we never saw each other long enough to say more than hello. Well, that was before Mrs Weasley organized a diner at the Burrow with a few members of the Order, me included.

She had been particularly pleased to see me, and Ginny had confessed it was because her mother was persuaded I would run away.

“You know, because of the git I have to call my brother.” she had added with a disapproving pout.

Ginny had been very disappointed in Fred when he had left, not because of school because she would have done the same if she could but because he had left me on the sidelines. She was a good friend and confident, and even though family was everything to her, she had assured me she would never forgive Fred for what she used to call “a very stupid mistake”. However, as I was squeezed on the couch between her and Tonks, all the support she could provide me wasn’t enough considering the fact that Fred was only a meter or two away and his eyes were fixed on me. I was repeating myself that it didn’t matter, I didn’t care, it didn’t matter, but his gaze seemed to be getting heavier as the minutes passed by. It took me a good quarter of an hour to gather enough courage to look directly at him with the idea of making him understand he was annoying me, but the strange sparkle in his eyes intrigued me more than it should and I found myself looking away faster than what my ego could accept. A few seconds later, his hand was on my shoulder.

“Do you mind if we talk?”

Ginny’s elbow hit my ribs repetitively until I sighed. I got up without a word and lifted an eyebrow, which Fred interpreted as a positive answer and apparently as an authorization to grab my hand.

“Don’t go too far.” I warned before removing my hand and walking toward the stairs.

I didn’t know how this would turn out as we hadn’t had any proper conversation since he had left months ago. All this rancour I had built up was ready to resurface at any moment, and I wanted to do my best to avoid the disaster. That’s why I decided it would be better if this conversation happened on a ground as neutral as possible, which would be complicated considering the fact that I was in his childhood home, but not impossible. I settled for a room I was sure wasn’t the twins’, maybe Bill’s, and if he wondered why this choice, Fred never questioned it out loud. The door closed behind his back, and I was surprised to notice that it didn’t cause me any anxiety.

“You look tired.” he finally said with a certain hesitation when he understood I wouldn’t speak first.

Quite honestly, I had imagined a lot of things, but certainly not this.

“I’m- what? What does that mean?” I added with a grunt.

“It means I think you look tired. Is it that surprising?”

“That you’re concerned for my well-being? Since you left school without telling me and didn’t give me any news I have to admit that yes, it’s surprising!”

It was too late to contain my anger as it seemed, and I decided the best I could do was leave the room before exploding. It was without counting on Fred though, who visibly didn’t want me to leave.

“Get out of the way Fred, there’s nothing left to say.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, there’s everything to say.”

We looked each other in the eyes for quite a long time, and I eventually sighed before looking away, too afraid of the heartbeat my heart missed.

“I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m sorry for what I did.”

“You’re right, I don’t want to hear it.”

“I wanted to tell you, really, I did, but things weren’t great between us and… I don’t know, I didn’t think that much.” I scoffed and took a step backward. Fred’s eyes were filled with what I had a hard time admitting was sadness - or regret, maybe? - and they followed every movement I made to sit on the bed. “Listen Y/N, back then I really loved you and I still love you now. But this thing between us… It turned out not good at all, it wasn’t healthy for us to keep it the way it was.”

“So you think you only had two options? You decided by yourself you had to choose between staying with me and keep suffering or leaving without a word?” My voice was maybe a bit louder than intended, but it was too late to keep my heart closed. He wanted a discussion, he would have it. “You never for a second imagined we could make it work again? Fred, what you did was breaking my heart, nothing else!”

“And I broke mine in the process.”

“I- I don’t believe you. You’re the one who made the decision, you are the responsible. You are responsible!”

Fred looked away, and I could have sworn he was tearing up. All the words he could have come up with wouldn’t have changed my mind, but the tears that were now threatening to run down his face made my anger falter. It wasn’t pity but comprehension; these tears, they had covered my face so many times these last months and even before that I could recognize them undoubtedly. I was blaming Fred for leaving me, and even if I wouldn’t forgive him for the way he did it, blaming him for wanting a true breakup would be hypocritical. After all, hadn’t I thought about it myself? The only difference was that Fred had been brave enough to end it, not me. But that didn’t make the abandon any less painful, or these last months any less hard to think about.

“Why now? It’s been months, why do you apologize now?”

Fred sniffed quietly and passed his hand on his face, wiping away a few tears in the process.

“Would you have let me apologize before?” Of course not, I would have punched him and left. “We were both hating me for what I did Y/N, and… I know I’m not pardonable, I just want you to understand that I regret and that no matter what happened, I’ll always be there if you need me.”

“I’ll be too Fred, trust me. But you’re right, you’re not pardonable.”

And I left without saying anything else, closed quietly the door between Fred and I, and it felt like it was the definitive end for us.

_ _ _

Something like three weeks later, the situation of the wizarding world had worsened exponentially. Attacks from death eaters were getting more and more common, and this toward muggles, blood traitors and members of the Order. Two weeks ago, I had participated in my first real monitoring mission with Tonks, and that had made me a veritable member of the Order with all the dangers that it implied. My relationship with Fred had become a bit better after our conversation at the Burrow and he had been the first to show worry about me. An hour or so before my departure for the mission with Tonks, he had left the shop to find me and tell me to keep the Dumbledore’s Army galleon so that he could know if I was in trouble. I had accepted because I wanted him to leave but with time, I had concluded that having it with me was reassuring. I would have never admitted it in front of him though.

A few days ago, Fred had invited me for a special evening at the shop that was organized for the presentation of a new product. He had refused to tell me anything about it and had assured me I would find it hilarious. I wanted to go but the thought of spending an evening with him still made me uncomfortable. Finally, I had accepted on the condition that Ginny was coming with me.

The first thought that crossed my head when I apparated in Diagon Alley is that never in my life would I have thought it possible to see it so empty, so lifeless. Almost all the boutiques I had visited so many times were closed, some because the owner had stopped their activity for a question of security and others because of much darker reasons. My eyes found the only bright light of the alley and I picked up the pace to reach the twins’ shop quicker. All the customers were hurrying inside, they probably felt as oppressed as I did.

“Here you are!” exclaimed Ginny when I reached the door. “I was beginning to think you had changed your mind. Glad you didn’t though, George told me what the new product is and it really seems fun.”

I hummed absent-mindedly as my eyes left the floor to wander around me. Trying to convince myself I wasn’t looking for Fred would have been stupid and a loss of time, so I just grumbled once more at my weakness and asked Ginny where her brother was.

“Probably in the back shop preparing his grand entrance. Come on, let’s get closer to the stage.”

If she didn’t make any comment, I didn’t miss her smirk as she grabbed my hand to drag me through the crowd of customers. We finally reached the stage that was occupying all the space in this part of the shop, and I found an empty spot somewhere on the left. On the stage was a huge white cover that was hiding what looked like a board and a table one behind the other, and I barely had the time to think that it was a very simple installation before the twins made their appearance. Everyone cheered and especially the younger ones and Ginny. For my part, I adopted a small smile that widened when Fred winked at me - against my will, I promise.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” began Fred.

“Dear customers,” continued George.

“Let us present to you our latest product.”

“It is the result of a long work of research and development-”

“And your future darling, it’s a promise.”

George waved his wand and the cover disappeared.

At first, the silence seemed very heavy, and I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell had happened in their heads to create such a thing in times like these. Then, a kid in the audience giggled, and it seemed to relax everyone; laughter burst and some were already shaking their wallet. Ginny was applauding and shaking her head. The twins’ smiles widened and they got off of the platform to reach out to their customers.

It was fun indeed, but I couldn’t help but wonder if they truly measured the impact of what they had just done.

_ _ _

“U-no-poo Fred? Really?”

Fred giggled as if I had just told him a very good joke he had never heard before.

“You have to admit that’s pretty clever!”

“That’s not clever, that’s stupid and not fun at all and- and that’s dangerous Fred!”

His gaze softened, but he didn’t let go of that cocky smirk.

“Y/N, would you happen to be worried?”

“No, I was just thinking your instinct for survival was better than that.” My averted eyes didn’t mislead anyone though. “I don’t want you to get in trouble for this Fred, that’s all.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.” He hesitated for a second, and our eyes fell on the hand he had lifted and stopped above my shoulder. I didn’t say anything and he squeezed it gently. “These laughter earlier, that’s why we’re taking the risk. You have your way to fight the darkness, I have mine, that’s all.” I didn’t find anything to reply to that. “You know, I didn’t think you would come tonight, even Ginny was doubtful. And given the look on your face when I told you about it I thought you would refuse, really.” Fred paused and his fingers clenched lightly against my shoulder once more. “Why did you decide otherwise?”

That was a good question. Why? I had spent the last few days trying to figure out why the first answer in my head had been immediate and positive, why my heart had first beaten like crazy at the thought of seeing Fred again instead of aching as it used to, why I couldn’t hate him as much as I thought I did, as much as I thought I had to. Suddenly, some customer’s shoulder collided with my back with enough strength to make me lose my balance. The position we ended up in felt natural, as if Fred’s torso had always been there for me to rest my head on it and his hands were meant to be on my back.

“I had missed this.” I murmured, and I felt his agreement through the vibrating of his body.

I timidly encircled him with my own arms, and the feeling was so unhoped for, I had craved it for so long, that I found myself unable to move away from him. The more time passed by and the tighter our embrace was until it became almost difficult to breathe.

“Maybe I should…” muttered Fred before loosening his hold, but without letting go of me. “Never again,” he added with a smile, and it didn’t take long for me to realize what it meant. “I’m not leaving you again.”

And as cliché as it could sound, I read the truth in his eyes. The pain, the regrets, the way he had been hating himself everyday for what he had done, but also comprehension because he knew I had been feeling the same. The Weasley sparkle was here too, bright and vivid and loving, and his smile was wider than every smile I had ever seen. I was probably looking the same, and if I wasn’t, I was definitely experiencing this euphoria that was shaking every cell of my body and making my heart beat so fast.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” Fred’s voice was low, but it was the only thing I heard.

“Do it then.”

“Let me finish darling. I want to kiss you so bad, but I don’t deserve it, not after what I did to you. Give me some time to earn it, okay? We’ll make it work again, I’ll make it work again.”

I nodded, torn by two completely opposite emotions. I was grateful because Fred wanted us to become a loving couple again, and disappointed because I needed him, so much that it hurt. But after all this time, it wouldn’t have felt right, and after all maybe it was for the best. Suddenly, I became aware again of the noise in the shop: dozens of customers were still talking happily about their purchase and congratulating George.

“I should go back home. It’s… It’s a lot to take in.”

“I know, don’t worry.” Fred smiled and kissed my hair. I gave him my back and took barely two steps toward the door before he grabbed my hand. “Wait Y/N, I’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home. It’s dangerous outside and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“You shouldn’t leave your little party, Freddie. Don’t worry for me, I’ll apparate as soon as I can, okay?”

“You have the galleon, right?”

“Yes Fred, I have it, and yes I’ll warn you when I’m home.”

He nodded and let go of my hand. I sneaked through the crowd of customers and reached the door. I was on the verge of opening it when Fred’s voice echoed.

“Are you going to leave without a U-no-poo Y/N?”

“Who told you I needed one?”

Fred chuckled, and I only looked away when the door closed. The alley was still somber, and the same dying feeling was floating in the air, but my heart was lighter than it had been in months. I was so happy that nothing could have tarnished my joy, or so I thought.

It’s my training as a new Order member that kicked in and made me dodge the first curse. As the only remaining window of Ollivander’s shop exploded, two dark silhouettes made their appearance between the twins’ shop and I, making it impossible for me to reach any safe place on this side of the alley. What I feared was confirmed when at least two other death eaters’ feet hit the paving stones.

All of this had happened in a second, and I reached for the magical galleon in my pocket before anything else. An instant later, I was forced to dive to the ground with my hand still stuck in my jeans. I got up quickly and drew my wand. It was too late. Something burnt my back with such intensity that the heat spread to the core of my body. Through the excruciating pain, my dizzy brain noticed that there wasn’t a sound that left my mouth, and soon my knees hit the ground. My arms refused to obey and I found myself falling forward without anything to shield my head. The shock was brutal as the rest of the scene. The death eaters left without anything else, word or curse, and soon the noise made by their footsteps disappeared. It felt like an eternity before someone else arrived whereas it had probably been less than two minutes. Time definitely seemed to stop when I realized it was Fred.

“Y/N, what’s- oh god, Y/N, can you hear me? Please tell me you’re still with me… Y/N!”

His arms slipped underneath my limp body. Even the heat he gave me as he was hugging me against his torso wasn’t enough to dissipate the icy cold in my bones. He was calling for help, desperate to be heard as it seemed like we were both glued to the paving stones.

“Please Y/N, tell me- tell me I’m dreaming. This- This is all in my head, it’s all happening in my head... Right? Y/N, say something, please!” I wished I could have reassured him, but my strength was leaving me. “I still have to gain back your love, Y/N you can’t leave me… You can’t…”

Fred was almost sobbing now, shouting to whatever cruel god was watching him that he couldn’t live without me, screaming pleas and crying at this unfairness. His arms were still holding me, and even this feeling was slowly vanishing; soon, I wondered if I had ever felt it and the only answer I could get was the aching in my body that had nothing to do with the curse.

Death wasn’t that bad, after all, less painful than life, and I wished Fred could read it in my mind.

#rach's1kcelebration #Harry Potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter imagine #fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #fred x reader #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x you #tw death

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frostedfaves · 4 years ago

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Repercussions (14)

Masterlist

Pairing: dark!Natasha Romanoff x dark!Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Summary: The day to escape has come, and you push your feelings aside to get the job done.

Warnings: dark themes, brief injury mention

A/N: I’m planning on making part 15 the ending (which feels crazy to say!!), but if it turns out to be outrageously long, I’ll split it into two parts. also the book I mentioned is by Aleatha Romig, and I think I may order it to read! it seems like it’s much darker than this story, so please be warned of that if you also decide to give it a chance! anyway, can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

Previous part

You blinked slowly as you were unwillingly brought to consciousness by the sound of your iPad ringing again. For a moment you sat there, surprising yourself when tears filled your eyes. Sure, you’d had some good moments with your girlfriends despite all the manipulation, but were you really going to miss being held captive?

Deciding not to debate the subject with yourself, you quickly wiped your eyes before rolling over to answer the Facetime call. You were met with the connecting screen and then their beaming faces replaced yours, and a sleepy smile was painted on your features as you realized they were also lying in bed.

“You sure don’t let a girl sleep in, huh?” you teased in a raspy tone, clearing your throat immediately.

“Sorry!” Wanda laughed. “We just wanted to see you before we went to sleep.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Natasha interjected with a frown. “You sound different.”

“I’m fine, just need some water.” You stood with the iPad in your hand, placing it on the bed for a moment while you slipped your robe on. “I don’t know if you remember, but the two of you had me screaming last night.”

“No, we remember very well.”

“Hi, Wesley!” Wanda called as he came into view after pulling the sheets up higher over herself and Natasha.

“Oh, hey guys!”

You handed the device over to him as you walked around him to get water from the fridge, smiling as you overheard his question about the trip and your girlfriends’ enthusiastic responses. Part of you wished this was normal, that your cousin was just visiting while they were out of town and not playing the double role of babysitter for them and partner in crime for you, but you shook the thought away as you were handed the iPad again.

“Good news, printsessa. We should be home in three days instead of five,” Natasha told you with a grin and you gasped.

“Wow, really? That’s amazing! Although I wouldn’t mind if you could come sooner, because I’m getting kind of bored with Wes.” Your sigh turned into laughter as he playfully shoved you.

“Be nice, baby,” Wanda teased with a giggle that was quickly followed by a yawn. “Alright, get some breakfast and we’ll get some sleep.”

“Okay! Text me when you wake up.”

“Of course, printsessa. We love you.”

“Love you too,” you offered with a smile and wave, releasing a deep breath when the call ended.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” you answered through another sigh. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You’re actually falling in love with them, aren’t you?”

“Probably.” You dropped the iPad on the table and stepped back to lean against the sink. “But it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m not backing out.”

“As long as you’re sure.” He hands you a plate of pancakes with a sympathetic smile. “I talked to Kendall and the safe house is all set up, just waiting for our arrival. Also wrote down all my contacts and erased everything from my phone and trashed it.”

“We can pack the food after I have a shower,” you added after swallowing a bite of food. “That’ll give them time to fall asleep. Then we can put everything in the car and get the security system disarmed.”

“I’m surprised you’re able to eat right now. I know how nervous you are about this going well.”

You paused with another forkful of pancakes held to your lips, simply shrugging in response. “Turns out I’m a pretty good actress.”

As soon as you were dressed you ducked into a camera free zone, checking your device and sighing in relief when you heard their light snores. You wasted no time in making sure you weren’t missing anything in your bag and tucked your burner phone in your pocket as you made your way downstairs.

“They’re asleep,” you announced as you entered the kitchen, stepping over to the counter where Wesley was sorting food into another bag.

“Okay, I’m almost done. I’m only packing snacks from the pantry. We’ll just have to wait until we’re done driving to have a meal. I have bottled water in the car.”

The two of you worked quickly to grab what you could and placed the food and your own personal bags into the backseat before coming back inside and heading to the basement. Wesley picked the lock of the security room and led you inside, and your mouths fell open at the sight. It was bigger than expected, one area of the room dedicated to surveillance of the house and surrounding land, and the other part more of an office area used for mission related things.

Once you’d gotten into the security system, a password protected screen popped up and you took a moment to really think about what it could possibly be. Your mind raced back to the first meeting, first date and any other first that followed, trying not to linger too long on the happier moments.

“What do you think it is?” Wesley finally questioned after a minute of silence.

“Try ‘consequences’.”

A mixture of pride and nausea stirred inside you when you were immediately granted access, but you focused on disabling the security system, jumping to your feet when the two minute timer started. You dropped the tracker on the table before you ran out and got into the car, driving through the gate mere seconds before it began to close. Wesley pulled over to change the license plates once you were a safe enough distance away from the house, and then you were on your way to your new safe home, deep in the middle of Nebraska.

“I have a question,” Wesley broke the silence an hour later, and you turned away from the road to give him your attention. “How did you know the password?”

“It’s the name of the book Natasha was holding when she asked me out. The main character meets a man after work that takes her out to dinner and then kidnaps her, and I don’t know if she knew that when she picked it up or if the summary alone gave her the idea but…It’s just so fucking similar to what they put me through and I just--”

A shiver rippled through you as you allowed your anxiety to take over for a moment, and Wesley was quick to grab your trembling hand in his.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s over now,” he assured you calmly and you exhaled a shuddering breath as you closed your eyes.

“I really hope you’re right.”

On the other side of the world, Natasha and Wanda were just waking up from their night of slumber, and Wanda was quick to grab her phone and text you while the woman beside her stretched and yawned.

“What are you up to?”

“Just letting printsessa know we’re awake now.” Wanda put the phone down with a sigh. “Is it bad that I want to retire soon just so I can go back to waking up next to her everyday?”

“Not at all,” Natasha chuckled lightly, running her palm along her bare spine. “The last mission I went on alone, I could barely sleep. It felt like a piece of me was missing.”

“Heading out in half an hour!”

The two women faced each other as Steve’s voice came through the door, playfully rolling their eyes and sharing knowing smiles as they begrudgingly climbed out of bed.

Unfortunately for them, they didn’t return to their room again until nearly midnight, midafternoon for you, after just barely escaping the base they infiltrated and making tons of detours to ensure they weren’t followed to the safe house. Once everyone’s injuries were tended to, Natasha and Wanda broke away to shower and collapse onto the bed once they were done.

“Tash,” Wanda began, lifting her head to reveal a concerned expression. “Printsessa didn’t text back. She didn’t even open the message.”

“What?”

Natasha comes closer to take the phone, checking for herself and feeling a panic rise in her chest immediately. She quickly switched over the check the live camera footage, and a mix between fear and anger swirled around inside her when she didn’t spot you or Wesley in any of the rooms.

“Fuck!”

“Nat, what’s going on?” Clint questions as he stops in the doorway, noticing the tears beginning to spill down Wanda’s cheeks.

“Get in here and close the door. We have a problem.”

Tags: @littlegasps @natasha-danvers @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @nat-km-mh @buckmesidewaysandcallmesteve @cherrieloco @seventeen0 @creepingwolfberry @emilyprentisswife @bebe404 @becka107 @fayhar @messuhp @mjaudrey @sxphiaswitch @muted-stoneheart @its-a-long-way-to-ba-sing-se @wannabe-fic-reader @trikruismybitch @beforeoursecrets @cosmicbrownies7 @just-a-normalpersons @multi-images @want-to-watch-it-burn @stop-drop-and-drumroll @witchxaf @natashadeservedmore @haiiiloooe2 @darkangelxoxo @sakurat123

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undoundue · 3 years ago

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i don’t know anything except how stories go

the music isn't as good as i thought it would be

i'm not sure if i've taken enough drugs or too much

when i take too much, i get grandiose: big ideas. little follow-through.

when i take not enough, i also get grandiose, but i know it,

and i sound like a graveyard glass harmonica when

the wind passes through. when i take the right amount, i do not ask

whether i've taken enough drugs or too much.

instead i hallucinate that i'm a cicada, an elegant disgusting jewel

smithed by mommy nature to reproduce a tinny song,

and i'm grateful to my parents

and the 17 years i spent gestating

and this morbid cherry tree

because nobody buckles their tymbals like i. also, cicadas lack

the relevant receptors altogether,

so the dosing question doesn't apply.

(beat) say,

have you noticed that zoomers are really into columbo?

(you nod)

i've seen him on twitter twice lately, asking "just one more

question—which would you prefer as an afternoon snack?"

and there's a poll, cheez-its

or little debbie snack cakes.

the appeal, i think, is to a generational forgetfulness, to

a generation most in need of alarm clocks and aricept,

to the desire to see forgetfulness as a superpower, as an

equivalent to innocence, to be so impervious to

reality's demands. but haven't we been here

before? didn't milennials all die for the sin of inventing "retro

gaming"? and by the way,

did you hear the one about the guy who gave himself three-hundred

and ninety-one concussions, each time suffering retrograde amnesia

which knocked out his memory of his last pokemon red playthrough?

ah. ah yes. it is not a tale the jedi would tell you.

when i take too much, i get despondent. when i take not enough, i

get grandiose. but the line breaks are for the poet's benefit anyway.

besides, there are kids smoking brick weed in lebanon, we should be

thankful for what we have.

and hex maniac is pretty cute. her pupils spiral

counterclockwise,

going from out to in; in some of the fan art they go the other way but

you can tell those guys don't "get it"; the allure of a counterclockwise

spin on how you are perceived, to have your silhouette distorted

and your details properly misunderstood, to lose at games you've

never heard of it, to eat with chopsticks incorrectly,

to trip and fall and look at the sidewalk and say "thank you.

yes. i had grown complacent in my patterns, my

nucleus accumbens

was running on fumes; and i certainly wasn't expecting that!" and

mean it. i did this once. i was in a state of rare tranquility after

masturbating for sixteen consecutive hours (essentially a

performance enhancing drug for meditation—which is why,

in the tibetan olympics, strict no-fap is required for a week

before competition—and they take semen samples to be sure!)

so (you nod), when the buddha saw me

so grateful for life's misfortunes, he made a "look

at this fucking guy" gesture to ganesh and then said "look at this

fucking guy" as if the gesture wasn't enough. naturally,

i was offended, and besides i recalled the old koan "If you meet the

Buddha on the road, kill him," which i had read in a collection

of koans for children titled "If you meet the Buddha..." which

my Mom had purchased for me in the novelty gift section

of an urban outfitters in santa barbara ("Mom, why are you shopping

at urban outftters?" "son, yr mama just tryin' ta stay cool. say, you

heard of this MF DOOM cat?" "ugh! Mom!") and which had

such thought-provoking aphorisms as:

"If you meet the Buddha in an airport, buy him a cheeseburger."

"If you meet the Buddha at a dive bar, play him some new wave—the

Buddha is big into that shit." the idea being, you're prepared for any

circumstance, which is what buddhism is all about. so i did a

bunch of fast attacks; the buddha blocked; i said "shouldn't

it be all the same to you if i kill you?" the buddha said "it would,

except i want to get home and watch columbo, and i don't

want to wait to respawn." i said, "jesus. just—jesus." then the buddha

kicked me through a brick wall. everyone in the WeWork

screamed and fled, leaving their kombucha behind, and

for some reason the sprinklers went off. then, after the initial

impact, a lone brick fell (because of torque—force times the length of

the lever, remember) and hit me comically on the head, causing a

concussion. i said "guh."

yup, (you nod sympathetically),

i was feeling mighty grim. then it occurred to me: why don't i

play pokémon red? unfortunately, on my cellphone i only had

the romhack version, you know, where all the pokémon are allegories

for depression. so you got your depressionmander, depressioneleon,

depressionizard, and for pokémon where that doesn't work

they use it as a suffix, e.g. bulbadepression, ivydepression,

venudepression. also you can't leave the starting room and

your character moves really slowly. the indie gaming press

loves it. one of the features that reviewers single out is

that, instead of a lone Stand By Me reference, the TV in your room

goes line by line through Aguirre, the Wrath of God, except the

murders are replaced with pokémon battles and at the end

aguirre tries to command a horde of mankeys ("depressionkeys"),

which is a metaphor. dark stuff. it makes me think back on my youth:

lying on my child-king sized bed, masturbating to polyhedral

stellations, suffering from severe geometric dysmorphia as i

compared myself to the grandeur of those idealized forms—god, i

used to hate myself for those wasted hours. i mean, i still do, but i

used to, too. only after years of therapy have i developed a mantra

that eases the pain:

"i am mostly a cylinder.

i am mostly a cylinder." presto. you can get off to anything, even

loomis.

(you nod, hesitantly.) on saturday night,

i throw open the window and scream at the children: "you'll get old

too! an abstractome of brittle opinions even as your bumbling

homunculus drops the data you once used to back them up!"

the children reply "not necessarily, given the rate of advances in

biotech. also, no one cares, grandpa." they play soccer. my

mad pilgrim hair blows in the wind. i scream: "suffer! suffer! i am

omniscience!" they say: "oh yeah? how many fingers am i

holding up?" "four! five! four!" "it was five, you old fart." "the thumb

doesn't count as a finger! you should have a specified!" "OK, new

game: what sort of person am i?" "you are—you are—!" and so

i peer into their souls and know the answer, but i can't

find the words. the words do not come. i have forgotten them.

silently i draw away from the window. the children smirk, but only for

a moment. for they know i am right.

ah, to reveal the soul's heist, to be seen through by the omniscient

and powerless, what a delight! who among us would not cheerfully

kill the buddha when he's comin' through the rye? who among us

has not been blessed by the kind words of a stranger? and yet, we

shouldn't incentivize people to be strangers. society would collapse.

besides, we are no longer strangers to ourselves, you and i.

(you nod.) we will have much to discuss about that.

#thanks for reading #let me know if i gotta put a *keep reading* in these posts

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whatifxwereyou · 3 years ago

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The Oncoming Storm Part 16: The Road Ahead

Liu Kang x Reader and Kung Lao x Reader (gonna do both, two paths!)

Here we go! Yay! I'm excited for the decision you guys made and worked on planning it out last night. Looking forward to some more Kung Lao followed by some delightful Liu Kang, followed by some shenanigans- and then the big choice. Then the fic will split and change names depending on who you wish to follow. I also have two more new fics on the way. I'm still sorting out the notes for those. One will be Liu, the other Lao. Lao's will be very action oriented and Liu's will be a bit more psychological. Hope you are all having a fantastic Monday! Much love and thanks for reading!

Part 15 Part 17 Chapter Index

You mulled over the decision but not for long. It wasn’t a difficult one. “I don’t see why we shouldn’t do it how you’re suggesting.” You shrugged. Kung Lao adjusted behind you. You were still weary but felt stronger as time passed, though marginally so. “If Kung Lao is excited about going to Japan, then he can come with me to Japan.” Just to prove that you could, you sat upright though you felt the weight of your body was still a bit too much for you. Kung Lao placed his hand on your lower back to help support you without drawing any attention to your wobbliness. You were very appreciative of his discretion. Every movement you made that was off, sent Liu Kang’s blood pressure through the roof. “And if Liu Kang is familiar with Huangshan, then that will give us a leg up there. We could use any advantage we can find. If I remember correctly, the Yellow Mountains are huge.”

Liu Kang nodded to confirm that it was true. You didn’t remember much about Huangshan other than what you had read about in school. From the little you did remember you were grateful to have a guide so you wouldn’t have to hike for days to search for an obscure point hidden amongst the rocks.

“Then it is decided.” Raiden looked to you for confirmation and you nodded.

“For the record, I promise that I’m not just excited about Japan and the festival. I’ve spent some time there so I’m familiar with getting around. Not specifically Mount Osore, of course but some familiarity is better than none.” Kung Lao then leaned closer to you and whispered with a grin in Japanese. “I’ll make sure that we’re both safe.” You smiled fondly. You spoke enough Japanese to get by. Your mother had grown up in Chiba and had spoken it often in your youth. You weren’t practiced and would likely be barely conversational but could get by better than most. You’d always wanted to go to Japan. This was a funny way to go about achieving that dream. Honestly, you’d never left home other than a few trips to Vietnam to take your students to competitions.

“Your trip will give me time to do a bit of research in Huangshan. I’ll do my best to see what I can find out before you meet me there.”

You urged Kung Lao’s hand away from your lower back and scooted away from his lap where he’d held you. Liu Kang, still crouched nearby, reached for your hand, and urged his fingers to your wrist to check for a pulse. You sighed and watched as Kung Lao tried not to laugh at your frustration. You waited patiently for Liu to get what he needed but when he didn’t let go, you decided to swat his hand away.

He smiled and turned his gaze, aware that he had lingered for much longer than necessary. The air in Raiden’s chamber was stifling. Between the haze of magic that you’d cooked up and being somewhat sandwiched between two of your favorite people, you could barely breathe. You were suddenly ecstatic to spend some time away from Raiden’s Temple. Not that you didn’t appreciate it. You did! But it would be nice to see the rest of the world. Yours had shrunk from your hometown to this temple and even though it was technically bigger than your hometown it was also out of time, in a way.

“We can head out as soon as Lord Raiden is ready to send us off.” Kung Lao seemed excited. “Right?”

“Immediately?” Liu objected.

“Why not? What are we waiting on, you think?”

“Do you really think that it’s the best idea to leave right this second, Kung Lao? Y/N just had a vision last night. And after what we just witnessed she can barely sit upright.” Liu Kang counted the reasons on his fingers. “Not to mention that I’m burnt out. I need rest.”

“Wow, the pun.”

“…not intended.” Liu considered and seemed pleased.

“Bull.” You teased and Kung Lao laughed and offered you a high five which you reciprocated. Liu rolled his eyes at them both with a heavy sigh.

“Joking aside, wouldn’t it be wise to take a day and be better prepared?”

“That seems like a waste of time.”

“There’s plenty to do today, Kung Lao. Find a place to stay while we’re there. Food. Clothing. Timing. Research where and how to approach this…” Liu counted the reasons again on his fingers.

“I…” You began.

“We can figure that out just as easily when we get to where we’re going.”

“And what if we’re attacked?”

“You really think that something’s going to hunt us the moment we arrive?”

“I don’t think-“ You tried again.

“Not the moment we arrive but we have to consider the possibility considering the way that voice spoke and what Lord Raiden saw.”

You decided to tune them out as they argued. Considering it was about you and your trip you were a little annoyed that they were talking as though you were not there in the room to help decide. You could feel Lord Raiden’s piercing gaze on you as if he were curious to see how you would handle being talked over.

“Listen, boys, your both pretty,” you spoke loud enough to interrupt them. Liu Kang and Kung Lao silenced, looking to you with wide eyes. “And you both make valid points but I’m making the decision. We’ll leave tomorrow morning. I need a chance to rest and prepare. And no, I’m not making this decision on either of your recommendations. This is what I think is best. I know that I’m too tired to do what needs to be done there today.” You scolded them but did so with a smile. It felt nice to be listened to. “This is my quest and you will follow my lead. Got it? I won’t be talked over and steam rolled by you two.”

“Got it loud and clear.” Kung Lao smirked. “I like take charge Y/N. She’s fun.”

Liu Kang on the other hand still looked incredibly worried. “Yes, of course. I’ll follow where you lead, Y/N.”

Raiden stepped closer and you could see the hint of a smile on his face. You were glad that you’d taken his silent encouragement to interrupt the two brothers. “Tomorrow morning you will meet me here and I will send you on your way.” He then turned to Kung Lao and offered him a look that was also a warning. “Remember, this is important.” Liu Kang narrowed his eyes at his brother as if to warn the same thing. You couldn’t hide your curiosity as to why that was. You would absolutely be asking about it later. What kind of trouble was Kung Lao know for getting into exactly?

“You two worry too much. I’m taking this very seriously.”

“When you are finished in Japan then Kung Lao will call me.” Raiden addressed you without further explanation. “I will return him here and send you to meet with Liu Kang in Huangshan.” How exactly would Kung Lao call upon him? You supposed that he was a god, so there was probably some unspoken magic. You’d make a point to ask Kung Lao about that later, too. It would be easier than asking Raiden. He really was intimidating.

“Will do.” Kung Lao smiled and Liu Kang nodded his agreement.

“I’m going to stop by the infirmary to get checked out now. Just in case. I don’t remember any of what went on here, but I can feel how tired I am.” You were nervous to try and stand on your own, but you also didn’t want to feel anyone else’s worry that day. You’d had enough from Liu the other night. You found his worry sweet, but also a little excessive. Liu Kang seemed surprised and impressed that you were going there on your own without him twisting your arm. Before he could say anything, Kung Lao had jumped to his feet.

“I’ll walk you there.” He offered you a hand. You rejected it and stood on your own, just to prove that you could, even if you hadn’t been positive that you could. It had been worth the effort it turned out, even if your legs were wobbly. Kung Lao had a way of making you wish to prove that you could do things beyond what you thought you were capable of. Even so, he offered his arm, unbothered that you’d ignored his hand. You took it. Your body was exhausted, after all. At least your neck had decided to continue supporting your head. You’d been through a lot lately and were grateful that your body listened to you at all.

“I’ll check in on you later.” Liu assured you and you smiled.

“See you then. Raiden? Thank you.” You bowed politely to them both and Raiden silently acknowledged your gratitude with a bow of his own. There was more that you’d wanted to say to Liu Kang, but Kung Lao was already leading you out of the room. You’d have time to talk to him later. You stole a glance over your shoulder and found him watching you go. Usually when you caught him staring, he would avert his eyes and go about his business but this time he offered you a knowing smile that made your heart flutter. Then he went to speak with Lord Raiden.

Kung Lao led you down the long hallway and around the corner. You pulled from his arm and leaned heavily against the wall once out of sight of Raiden’s chamber. With an exasperated noise, you let your full weight rest against the wall and caught your breath that you’d practically been holding. Your whole body was sore as if you’d worked out far beyond your limit. “I need a second.”

Kung Lao laughed and stood before you, amused. “Exhausted, huh?”

“So exhausted.” You swatted his hand as he reached for you and then whined as he urged his arm around your waist and pulled you away from the wall. You continued like that toward the stairs. He supported most of your weight but didn’t drag you or hurry you too quickly. “Thanks, Lao.”

“No problem, Y/N. Figured you needed an out and a little help to get it. Liu was radiating with worry. Kinda knew you were trying to save face especially after your cute little speech.” He teased but you were grateful that instead of making you sit and breathe, he was just dragging you along like it was no big deal. You did kind of want to lay down and sleep for a year though.

“He worries about me a bit too much, I think. I don’t want him to stress over me. Thank you for helping me do that and not just picking me up like I’m an invalid.”

“I get it. Happy to help.” He shrugged. “Definitely thought about picking you up and doing just that but you seemed particularly defiant after your episode, there.”

“I am feeling particularly defiant.”

“I can tell. And those dragons, Y/N, well, I’m impressed.”

“…how long was I out like that, by the way?”

“Oh, a long while. About an hour, I’d say.”

“An hour?” You gasped, stopping your walk and pulling a bit away from him, just so you could turn to face him. “Raiden and Liu had to keep all that back for that long?” What the hell? You could barely summon an ink jian yesterday and had made dragons, a vortex, and a throne for an hour while you were unconscious!

“Who’s worrying now?”

“No wonder he’s burnt out, Kung Lao! No wonder my body hates me.” You shook out your fingers. They were tingling on and off with numbness. Kung Lao urged you onward.

“Don’t feel bad about it, Y/N. It was awesome.” Kung Lao was beaming with pride. His smile was just like it had been when you were kids, but it suited him better now- with just the slightest hint of dimples and the cutest little wrinkle on his chin.

“It was terrifying. My body did all that without me.”

“When you can control it then you’ll change your tune.”

“Probably but still!” You weren’t sure that you would ever be able to control it to that extent at this point. Honestly, you were still perturbed that it had happened in the first place. Your body and arcana doing things without your permission, speaking in other voices? It was spooky and not in a fun Halloween sort of way. More of in a possessed-by-demons way.

“When we get to Japan, we’ll stop and pick something up to wear to the festival. Probably yukata? Going to look into the appropriate garb.” Kung Lao was apparently done talking about that now.

“You have no idea how much I long for new clothing.”

“Oh? But why?” Kung Lao looked you over while you walked. You were steadier as you went, less losing your footing and wobbling. His grip had relaxed on you, but he still kept his arm around you just in case. Probably. “You’re very cute in the hanfu.”

“Yeah, well your fancy Raiden’s Temple clothing is easier to function in. I need jeans, Kung Lao. Jeans and comfortable shirts! These are pretty but they’re a little too delicate for me. I certainly can’t fight in them. I’m not delicate. You know that.”

“I do. All too well.”

You shoved him playfully, but he didn’t let go of you. “You know what I mean.”

“I do. I get it. Still like the hanfu though.”

“Where did you get all yours, anyway?” You tugged on the jade ring on his belt. You loved what he wore. It was as though it had been personally tailored just for him. He smirked.

“You earn cool clothing with great power, Y/N. Someday you’ll earn your own too.”

“That’s a dumb answer.” You rolled your eyes at him. The trip to the infirmary was just about over and you were grateful for his conversation along the way. Your legs were tired of carrying your body around. Once inside, you waved at Chen who was across the room and surrounded by boxes. Chen smiled at you and held up a finger as if to tell you that she’d be with you in a moment.

You escaped Kung Lao’s arms and turned instead to face him. He folded his arms over his chest and smiled down at you. “Kind of feels like we’re in one of those movies we used to watch at your Grandma’s.” He sounded amused.

“Like Disciples of the 36thChamber?” You recalled one of your favorites. You had nearly destroyed the old VHS tape that your Grandma had recorded it on for you. You’d fast forward through the commercials, seated way too close to the television.

“Or Police Story.”

You smiled fondly in remembrance. Those were some of your happiest memories. You’d spent hours watching your Grandma’s tapes and then you’d go outside and pretend that you were skilled enough to be part of them. You’d held onto those memories tighter than most because he had died. It was still amazing to you that he was there and alive. You really should have talked about it but now wasn’t the time. When would it be though? “I’m not sure that what we’re about to do is going to be anything like those movies but I am pretty excited to remember what the rest of the planet looks like outside of this temple.”

“It’s a healthy reminder. Grounding. This place can be all consuming and a little overwhelming.” You were surprised to find that he understood the idea better than you had expected him to. Kung Lao was very much full of surprises. “Do you need me to stick around or are you okay down here on your own? I don’t love this place. Bad memories. Besides, I’ve got a dozen things to do before the day’s over and we’re on our way to Japan.”

“Oh? Is that so? You were pretty adamant that we leave immediately.” You teased.

“Does that mean you don’t want me to leave? Is that what you’re getting at?” He grinned, eyes sparkling in amusement. His whole face lit up when he smiled. It was remarkable.

“I didn’t say that. I’m just calling your bluff.”

“What bluff?”

“Boy, you can be frustrating.” You shoved his shoulder and he pretended to be pushed back and then smiled.

“Really though, can I go?”

“Go, Kung Lao. I’m fine here. Chen will help me if I need it.”

“Okay, okay.” He laughed and then walked backwards toward the doorway into the hall. “But if you need me then just send someone to find me.”

“Just go!” You laughed and as you turned away, you heard a crash behind you, as though Kung Lao had knocked something over while walking backwards. You did your best to resist looking backwards so that he could save face, but you laughed anyway. Then you took a seat against the far wall of the infirmary, waiting near where Chen was working. Moments later, Chen took the seat next to you with a smile. She looked tired but still happy to see you.

“I noticed that it wasn’t Liu Kang who brought you here today. And that Kung Lao was fully clothed.”

“…do you think that I’m strategically permanently disrobing them or something? I told you what happened this morning.” You furrowed your brow in sincere confusion at the accusation.

“One could hope. Perhaps I gave you too much credit.” Chen laughed and folded her hands neatly in her lap. You sat then in silence for a moment. “Are you here to gush more about Liu or…?”

“Or what? I’m actually here for medical reasons as I so frequently am? Since I have never once ever come to you just to gossip? Especially gossip about myself?”

“Or you could be here to talk about that dopey smile Kung Lao had on and the fact that he knocked over a whole stand of medical supplies on his way out. Or that he was in the infirmary willingly again. I can count the number of times he’s been here on one hand. At least before you got here. And those times were dragged in bloody and beaten.” You didn’t like the mental image of him bloody and beaten.

“You’re the most ridiculous gossip I have ever met.” You whispered in an accusatory tone.

“I know!” She shouted and you held your face in your hands and laughed. Chen had a way of making you smile more than anyone ever had. “Besides, you can do both those things while here. Gossip and the medical stuff. It’s called multitasking, Y/N.”

“I’m leaving for a few days on an errand. Wanted to check in before I go. Today was a lot too and I’m feeling particularly drained.”

Chen frowned.

You felt instantly slighted and turned your gaze to the floor. You were capable. Everyone worried about you, but you’d be fine. You knew this was scary and you kept repeating Raiden’s warning of death in your head, but you could do this. You would fight until your last breath.

“Why are you leaving?”

“Everyone looks at me like that, Chen. I’m fine.” That wasn’t true, you supposed. Kung Lao didn’t often look at you like that. Even as kids he hadn’t.

“Do you want me to list all the reasons that’s a lie? Because I could. I won’t and since you probably have to do this, I’ll send you with extra supplies just in case.” Chen shook her upset away and mustered optimism for your sake. You were grateful. “Are you going with Liu Kang? And more importantly, will you get to have any fun with Liu Kang? Or Kung Lao? I’m not picky at this point. Both very good looking.”

You ignored the gossipy remark and instead explained your vision that morning and very vaguely touched on where you had to go and what you had to do. You weren’t sure how much you should share so you were careful to leave out the most important details. To be honest, you had no idea what you expected to find in either place but it felt good to have a purpose that you knew you could achieve. You very briefly touched on the disturbing incident with Lord Raiden but avoided most of the messy details. You’d been dead unconscious through it, anyway. Chen’s face flickered back and forth between worry and trying to keep a smile up for you. You supposed you couldn’t blame Chen.

“Well, then I’ll make you a little kit to travel with.” Chen patted your shoulder and stood, setting about shoving supplies into a portable first aid kit nearby. She was filling it with the basics but also small bottles of pills and several syringes. She then set about writing instructions for how to use each of them. You were almost certain that you wouldn’t need any of it but were still grateful. “Just in case. Better to have it and not need it then need it and not have it.” She closed the small case and then handed it to you where you placed it in your lap. Then she took both of your hands and sat next to you.

“Thank you, Chen.”

“It’s no problem. This one though? This is a personal prescription given to you by your friend and doctor. Please. Please, I’m begging you. Get drunk. Make some stupid, immature mistakes with one or both of those men. Please? For me? I’m begging. Literally.”

“Ch… I… what?” You stuttered and felt your face burning again. You thought you’d gotten past that today. “Did you not hear the whole part about ancient sacred objects hidden away by a demon creature that I have to find? Or… were you not listening?”

“Oh, no, I heard you. But please… also do the other thing. You can do both. Really. I mean that in every way you can interpret it.” Chen let go of your hands and then tapped the medical kit. “Also, glance over the notes I wrote for you just in case you do need any of this stuff.”

“Oh my God, Chen.” You laughed, leaning your head back against the wall behind your chair. “…thank you for bringing some levity to all this.”

“Thank you for bringing me such delicious gossip all the time.”

You rolled your eyes but still smiled. You were grateful to have Chen looking out for your well-being both physically and mentally. It was so easy to get lost in the haze that was Liu Kang and Kung Lao but with Chen’s constant teasing and joking, it helped you from getting consumed by it. “Would you walk me back to my room by any chance? Not so great on my feet today.”

“Sure, but I’m going to tease you the entire time about Liu Kang being half naked in your room first thing this morning. Still not completely convinced that he was just being comforting unless that word had changed its meaning since I learned it. You kids these days and your slang.”

“Could you possibly keep your voice down?” You stood, slipping the medical kit under your arm.

“It’s fine, Y/N. Everyone in here knows already.”

“I-Chen! What?” You were stuttering again. They all knew? You looked around the room and several of the nearby monks nodded to confirm this was true. Your face was on fire again.

“You’re a fool if you think it’s not super obvious or something. In fact, we have a pool going on down here. One of us is going to be much wealthier after you’ve sorted things out.” Chen shrugged. “I am one of the only people voting for both.”

“You are all terrible monks. Every single one of you.” You said very loudly, and the other monks laughed. Some waved as you and Chen made your way out of the infirmary. Others wished you luck on your journey. One even whispered he was betting on Kung Lao. You suddenly felt very exposed. Were you really that obvious? Chen stayed close to you as you walked and steadied you as she needed to. After you were sure you could talk without dying of embarrassment, you couldn’t help but be curious. “…who’s winning this pool?”

“We all agreed that you’re not allowed to know. I’ll tell you much, much later down the road.”

You laughed, again grateful for Chen and how ridiculous she could be. You were exhausted but also excited for the journey ahead. The next morning you’d be meeting with Kung Lao and travel to Japan to a Buddhist shrine inside a caldera. It was enough to look forward to that it would keep you from dwelling on Chen’s teasing and what Raiden had barely touched upon that morning.

If you didn’t get rid of the shadow hanging over you then you weren’t going to live to see Mortal Kombat.

70 notes · View notes

myhockeyworld87 · 4 years ago

Text

A Crosby Christmas

Word Count: 3,713

POV: Reader

Warnings: A little smut, nothing too much...it is Christmas after all

Notes: I know I haven’t been on here in a while, but I wanted to drop this little story here for you guys to enjoy this Christmas! Hopefully I’ll be more active after the holidays. I also have Toews Christmas story I’m working on so hopefully I can drop that soon as well. Don’t worry I haven’t forgotten about your other favs. There will be new Ruined and Not So Dangerous Liaison coming as well. Merry Christmas to you all! I hope that this holiday season finds you healthy and happy! May the joy of this holiday season last all through the coming year! Love and Hugs to all!!!

Christmas had always been your favorite time of year. When you were little, you loved decorating the tree, sing Christmas carols, and of course waiting for Santa. You still loved this time of year, only now it was watching your kids do all those same things. Alexis, now five, and Lucas, three and a half, were yours and Sid's pride and joy. The two were overjoyed for Christmas this year and even though you hadn't celebrated American Thanksgiving yet, they were all geared up to decorate the house.

One of your first holiday traditions when you first started dating Sidney had been to always decorate one tree together, and you'd continued that every year since then. This year, with Sid's schedule and the kids' anxiousness, you were going to be trimming the tree much earlier than normal. God love your husband, as he carried all the boxes of ornaments in, as well as the tree from the garage where you had them stored. The ten-foot monstrosity fit perfectly in your family room, which apparently was a pain in the ass to put up as you'd caught Sid twice almost cursing in front of the kids.

"Daddy, I get to put the star on again this year, right?" Alexis asked drawing her father's attention, as he was putting the last piece of the tree up. "Lukey is still too small."

"Am not," your son, who looked the spitting of his father shouted back.

"Lex, I think Lukey is big enough this year to give it a shot." Lucas stuck his tongue out at his sister who had her arms folded into a pout.

"But Dad…"

"But Lex…" Sid mocked in the same whiny voice as his daughter, then he picked her up and zoomed her around the room to make her smile. He was a sucker for his little girl and she had him wrapped around her pinkie.

"Me too, daddy, me too," Lucas cheered as he wanted in on the fun, and of course Sid happily obliged.

"That's not fair," Alexis pouted again this time stomping her foot in emphasis.

"Alexis Catrina Crosby, if you don't change that attitude young lady, you can march all the way upstairs and not join in any of the decorating." You finally told your daughter, for sometimes she needed that stern voice to keep her in check, especially when her father doted on her. "And remember Santa is watching." That threat always seemed to work magic this time of year.

A lone tear leaked out of her eye, as Sid made his way over to her; Lucas firmly attached around his neck. He crouched down to his little girl. "Mommy's right. You've got to put the star on the last two years. It's time for Luc to have a turn." He remained at her level and Lucas slid off his back and over to the box where the star was almost gloating if a three-year-old could do just a thing.

Alexis pulled her lip out, this time in sadness as she pleaded into her father's deep brown eyes just like her own. "But…but I want to do something special too."

"And you will princess." Sid looked over to you as if you were supposed to have the magical answer to that.

"How about you put the last ornament on the tree. Daddy will leave a spot way up high so he has to lift you up to put it there." Her lip pulled in and suddenly there was a huge grin on her face. You had a feeling it was more about having your husband hold her up in his arms than actually putting the star on. The two seemed to fight for his attention all the time when he was home. The long road stretches killed both father and children, and if you were being honest they were hard on you as well. Thankfully, Sid only had a few short ones here and there before Christmas break, so the kids should be fine. "Well, I think we need to get decorating this tree. What do you think?"

"Yeah!!!" The kids cheered, Sid, joining in. There were a ton of ornaments to put on the huge tree that was once decorated purely in shades of gold. Now it was more of a hodgepodge of colors. There were dozens of Mickey Mouse ornaments from their trips to Disney, along with Paw Patrol ones which seemed to be Lucas' favorite at the moment. There were also ones with their little hand and footprints from when they were born. The tree held all of your life with Sid together. There was one from your first Christmas together, a few that you'd received to commemorate your wedding, and one for each child's birth. Though your favorite had to be your specially made ones with each family member's name on it. You had ones made for both Sid and your parents as well. They were the ones you loved the most putting on the tree as looking at their name brought such great memories of each person. "There's only one ornament left, and it's Alexis'." She came over and took her pink bulb, which had been hand-painted for her, and walked over to her dad.

"Alright, little one. I saved you the best spot at the top, so everyone can see your name up high." She was grinning like a Cheshire cat as Sid picked her up and then walked up a couple rungs of the ladder to get to the right height. This was the part that always made you nervous. The kids could get wiggly from time to time and the last thing you wanted was for them to cause your husband to fall. You weren't worried about the kids, Sid would do everything in his power to keep them safe, it was him you had to fear for. Sid held her out to the tree and it took her a minute to get the ornament in the right place.

"It looks so pretty, daddy. Good spot." He carried her down the ladder, then went over to his little man.

"Ok, Lukey, you ready." Lucas nodded enthusiastically. He had the star in both hands, as Sid took him up farther on the ladder. Lucas reached his little arms out, stretching as much as he could to get it on the peak of the tree. It took him two tries but he finally did it, albeit crooked, but that was no problem, as you'd fix it the moment they were in bed. It's something you'd had to do the last two years with Alexis as well. "Well, are we ready to turn on the light and see how it looks?" Sid asked, already knowing the answer he was going to get from the children, and they didn't disappoint with their enthusiastic cheers. He flipped the switch and the tree lit up as bright as the sky on the fourth of July.

"Yay!" all of you cheered and clapped.

"It's so pretty," Alexis cooed and you had to agree, even though forty percent of the ornaments were on the lower three feet of the tree, compliments of your children, but it was simply perfect.

"I think this is the best one yet," Sid commented, while he slid his arms around your midsection. There was nothing better than this moment you thought as you watched Lucas's eyes just light up, as he gazed at all the twinkling lights, and saw the giddy smile on Alexis's face.

"I think you're right," you said turning so that you could kiss Sid sweetly.

"Can we have hot cocoa and cookies now?" Lucas asked while he tugged on both yours and Sid's legs.

"You bet bud," Sid replied, even though it would be you making the kids' favorite holiday drink. You scooted out of his arms and headed to the kitchen, while the three of them put on a holiday movie. "Don't forget the extra marshmallows, Mommy." Your husband was sometimes the biggest kid of them all.

By the time you made it back to the family room, they had all claimed their favorite spot. "I saved you, your seat by daddy," Alexis said all proud of herself.

"Thanks, baby girl." You passed out the hot cocoa or lukewarm cocoa in the kids' case, then set the plate of cookies on the end table by your husband.

"Did you bake Christmas cookies already?" he whispered, as he saw the Santa shaped sugar cookies on the plate.

"As if I had time. I called the bakery and had them made."

He took a bite of one before handing one to each of the kids. "Not as good as yours but they'll do for now."

"I promise you'll get mine closer to Christmas."

"Mmm…and do I get your other cookie when the kids are in bed tonight?"

You raised your eyes at his double entendre. "I guess we'll have to see, won't be." Though you both knew that he'd be getting your baked goods, so to speak.

Thankfully, Sid had steered the kids toward watching Frosty the Snowman, so after the half-hour was up, you trotted them upstairs for bath time. Sid claimed he needed to 'watch film' for tomorrow's practice, so he skipped out on the nightly ritual, but made it upstairs in time to tuck the kids in for the night. "Night daddy." You heard Alexis say, as you had finished tucking Lucas into bed. Sid brushed back a lock of her hair before bending down and kissing his little girl goodnight.

"Night, baby girl. Daddy loves you."

"Love you too daddy." You walked in then and saw Alexis's eyes grow heavy.

"Goodnight, my sweet angel," you whispered, kissing her forehead. "Love you."

She yawned, then grabbed her teddy bear and hugged it tightly to her chest. "Love you, mommy." Sid grabbed your hand and the two of you snuck out of the room, closing the door as she fell fast asleep.

"Lucas asleep?"

"Yep, he went down pretty easy tonight." Sid had said goodnight to him first and went to read Alexis a story as you did the same for Lucas. "Poor lil guy was tuckered out from all the excitement."

"We make beautiful kids together, Mrs. Crosby."

"That we do, Mr. Crosby," you answered as you headed back downstairs hand in hand with your husband. You'd been trying for baby number three, the last year, but not having any success. It had been easy previously. In fact, you hadn't even been trying when you conceived Alexis. Lucas, you had planned down to the date, so that Sid would be home in the summer to help you both children. You'd automatically assumed that number three would go just as easily, but here you were twelve months into it and still not pregnant. You tried not to think about it too much, but every now and then it would get to you.

You shook yourself, as you hit the bottom rung, taking yourself out of your melancholy. "Cold?" Sid asked, as his arms came around you. "I think I know how to warm you up."

He somehow maneuvered you both into the family room, where he had a fire going in the fireplace, with blankets and pillows all around it. "Watching film eh?"

The signature smirk of his, the one he always gave in the locker room during an interview came out. "Had to surprise you somehow." There was a bottle of wine and two glasses there as well, and Sid poured you both a glass before settling down amongst the cushions with you. "Merry early Christmas, my love," he toasted and you clinked glasses.

The wine went down smoothly and was the perfect ending for what was the perfect day. You took your free hand and captured Sid's jaw, bringing his lips to yours for a heated kiss. It was the perfect mix of Christmas time with the combination of chocolate and wine mixed together with the essence of your husband, and you found yourself falling more in love with him than you'd ever been. He ended the kiss, all too soon for your liking. "Think the kids are sound asleep yet?"

You already knew that Lucas was, but Alexis was probably still teetering. "One for sure, let me check on the other." You still had a monitor hooked up in Alexis's room, so you pulled it up on your phone. It wasn't the video that told you she was asleep but her soft snores. "Yep, she's out. Snores just like you."

"I do not snore," he said rather indigently.

"Um…excuse me, Mr. my nose has been broken so many times I can't count. Yes, you do."

"Well, maybe a little but you love it." When you didn't respond right away, his hands went to your sides to tickle you. You fell back against the pillows laughing, Sid following you down until his mouth captured yours silencing your giggles.

It was some time before you broke apart for air. "Ok, I do love your snores but then I love everything about you."

This wasn't new information to him. "I love you more though."

"Not a chance."

"Guess I'm going to have to prove it." His lips were back on yours then, devouring you. Sid made quick work of disposing of your top, throwing it off to the side, before kissing his way down to your lace-covered breasts. He knew how to make you moan out, as he took one nipple and sucked it into his mouth. Your hands roamed under his shirt, feeling the rippled muscles along his back. They worked their way to his front and his well-toned abs before undoing the fly of his jeans and sliding them down. "Eager, my love?"

Your hand slid down to his cock, where he was rock hard. "Apparently, I'm not the only one." You stroked him in your hand, twisting your wrist as you went; a move you knew he loved. Sid let you have your fun for a bit before taking control of the encounter. Before you knew what was happening, he had you stripped bare laying on the blanket, legs spread for him.

His fingers toyed between your folds, making you even wetter than you already were. He entered you in one swift motion and your back arched at the feel of him inside you. "You feel so good baby," Sid moaned out, then started that slow rhythm of his hips you both loved so much. You weren't sure you would ever tire of this, the feeling of his lips on yours as he slid in and out of your body. It was something that was special that first time and every time after when you made love and you knew somehow that, that would never change.

Sid's fingers found that your clit, alternating between putting just the right amount of pressure there and flicking it back and forth. After all these years, he knew your body as if it were his own, knew what you needed, when you needed it, and knew how to take you over that edge. You were there now, legs trembling as your climax hit and your pussy squeezed him like a vise. He pumped two more times into you before spilling himself deep inside you with a grunt of satisfaction. He dropped kisses to your lips as he came down off his high, then rolled to his side taking you with him.

"That was heaven," you whispered, trailing your fingers up and down his biceps.

"Mmm, it always is with you." He reached behind him and pulled a blanket over your bodies. "I have to say this has been one of the best Christmas decorating days we've ever had."

"I have to agree," you hummed softly feeling your eyes grow heavy despite the early hour of the evening.

"I should probably take you to bed."

"Not yet, let's just lay here for a little longer." Laying there reminded you of the old days when it was just the two of you, and while you loved your two little munchkins, sometimes it was nice to just have Sid all to yourself like this.

His fingers trailed up and down your spine, causing you to snuggle deeper into his chest. "Whatever you want baby." Sid closed his eyes then, just savoring the moment like you were, and despite being the one that said you should move to the bedroom; he was the one to fall asleep first.

The week and a half leading up to Thanksgiving was hectic, as the Pens played at home. You took the kids to as many home games as you could, but it was always a production, by the time you packed up everything you would need for the three to four hours away from home. As soon as Thanksgiving was over, the team was back on the road and you were prepping for Christmas, rushing off to buy gifts while the kids were at preschool. Well, Lucas really didn't have school, but you did send him two days a week to a daycare like environment, so he would be used to being around kids more. You were running around so busy, some days you literally lost track of time.

When Sid wasn't on the road, he was there to help you in any way that he could; taking the kids out to play in the snow, while you baked, or taking them to the rink to skate while you wrapped and hid the gifts. Every free second was spent making sure that Alexis and Lucas would have the best Christmas ever. It wasn't until you looked at the calendar that you noticed you were late. It was December nineteenth, and your period hadn't come yet. Dare you hope that baby number three was finally going to come to fruition? There was only one way to know for sure.

Those five days to Christmas Eve flew by in a whirlwind. Sid had away games until the twenty-first, and then one home one on the twenty-third. There were so many last minutes things to do. Sid's parents and sister came into town on the twenty-second and were a huge help. They were currently upstairs bathing both kids for you, while you and Sid were planning out when to put the presents as it was now Christmas Eve. "I'm not sure Alexis's dollhouse is going to fit under the tree," he whispered, as he had finally finished putting it together with his dad. It was currently out in the garage with a huge sheet over it.

"You're the one who had to get her the biggest one there is." He was always spoiling your children.

"I know, don't start." He said sliding his arms around you as you stared at the tree. "It should fit in that corner over there." Now, that he figured out where the ginormous playhouse could go; he shifted his focus to the tree, looking at all the ornaments that had been hanging for the last six or seven weeks now. You smiled to yourself waiting for him to notice one in particular. "I feel like something is different on there."

"Hmm," you mused just swaying back and forth in his arms. "I think your right."

"What's that one right there?" He said pointing to the ornament that was at his eye level. "I don't remember it."

"Maybe you should have a closer look." He peered down at you curiously, now knowing that you were up to something, before gliding you both over to the tree so that he could have a closer look. "Is that…Are we…" You could hear the excitement in his voice before he turned you around to confirm his suspicions.

You nodded before saying, "Yes, it's my pregnancy test, and it took you forever to notice I put it there."

"What? When?"

"It's been on there since you came home from Toronto. I've been waiting for you to notice." He looked dumbfounded for a moment before scooping you up and spinning you around, his lips locking with yours.

When he finally put you down, there was a huge smile on his face. "I can't believe we're finally having another baby."

"I know me too. It's not the timing we were looking for, but I think you'll be happy with the due date." Curiosity got the best of him and you could see him trying to do the math in his brain to figure out what day it would be. "Well, you always said it was your lucky number," you hinted to him.

"No way!" He shrieked out. "August seventh?" You shook your head, yes, and he spun you around one more time before the patter of little feet and big feet came barreling in.

"What's all the excitement about?" Trina asked before even the kids could get a word in.

"We're having a baby!" Sid told her and everyone came in for hugs, congratulating you both. He knelt down to the kids' level. "Are you excited, that you're going to have a baby brother or baby sister?"

"Can we have twins? Kennedy Jenkins has twins and she says it's fun cause she always has someone to play dolls with." Sid just laughed at his daughter, then tickled her.

"I don't know about all that princess. Let's just be happy that you're getting to be a big sister again." He grabbed Lucas, then came off the ground throwing the toddler in the air. "What about you? Are you excited to be a big brother?"

Lucas just smiled, before looking his dad in the eye and grabbing hold of his cheeks. "I'm excited for Santa." Sid burst out laughing and you all joined in. Santa was definitely rating much higher than the new baby.

"I'm excited for Santa too, bud," Sid told him, then slid his free hand around your waist. "Thanks for making Christmas come early, Mrs. Crosby." Your lips found his in a sweet and loving kiss.

"Thanks for making me a mom again, Mr. Crosby."

He winked at you, that devilish smirk on his face. "Anytime," he breathed out, then added, "This is definitely the best Crosby Christmas yet." .

#Sidney Crosby #Sidney Crosby imagines #Sidney Crosby imagine #Sidney Crosby smut #Pittsburgh penguins imagine #Pittsburgh penguins imagines #nhl smut #nhl fanfic #nhl imagine #nhl imagines

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extasiswings · 4 years ago

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You can all blame @thisissirius for this one because I was going to write some sweet fluff but instead...also on ao3 here.

“Diaz! I’m out of ammo!”

“ETA six minutes.”

“We don’t have six minutes.”

Bullets flying, the sound of gunfire popping in his ears—but then, no, he’s back on the transport, alarms blaring, falling, falling, falling out of the sky—

He’s trapped and it’s burning all around, hot, twisted, sharp metal—he scrambles over to the patient—

Hen. Burned and coated with ash, she coughs and tips her head as she looks at him.

“At least no one’s shooting at us, right Eddie?”

“Eddie?”

“Eddie.”

Eddie jerks awake, his head whipping around as his heart pounds, only to see Buck, close by with his hands raised, palms open as if he had been touching him and just pulled back. Eddie’s mouth is dry, and there’s a burn in the back of his throat like he might be sick, but he swallows hard to get himself under control as he takes in his surroundings.

They’re in the truck, he reminds himself, the surroundings familiar. He and Buck are alone, Hen up front driving—when Eddie looks at his watch, he realizes it’s only about halfway into her most recent driving shift and they still have at least another five hours before they get back to LA. Despite the darkness of the interior, Buck’s face—and specifically the concern written across it—is clear.

“It’s just me,” Buck says quietly. “Sorry, I—I wasn’t sure whether it was right to wake you up or not, but it didn’t seem like—you were sort of twitching? And you made this sound—”

“It’s okay,” Eddie assures. “It was—yeah. Um, thank you.”

His voice is raspy and there’s a cold sweat drying on his skin that makes him feel somehow dirtier and more uncomfortable than when he’d been in the field covered in soot. At home, or even at the station, he would get up in a situation like this. Would take a shower or work out until his hands stopped shaking. But he doesn’t have those options here, trapped in a moving vehicle. Is flayed open and exposed, a heady cocktail of fight-or-flight chemicals buzzing under his skin as the echoes of alarm bells and gunshots fade from his ears and his best friend looks at him like he’s a basket case—

No, that’s not fair. Buck’s looking at him the way he would look at any of them he was worried about, because Buck is a good person with a big heart. There’s no judgment in his eyes, just naked concern, and Eddie tries to remember that as he sets his elbows on his knees and drops his head into his hands, blowing out a shaky breath.

“Hey, Hen?” Buck calls, raising his voice. “Can we make a stop? I need to pee. Sorry, should have gone earlier.”

“You’re lucky I love you, Buckley,” she calls back. “And that we’re not totally in the middle of nowhere. There should be a rest stop at the next exit, I’ll turn off there.”

“Thanks.”

Eddie presses the heel of his hands to his eyes for a moment before dropping them, rolls his head on his neck to work out some of the tension in his muscles before finally looking back at Buck.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he says, despite the relief that floods him at the thought of escaping the confined space for even a few minutes, getting the chance to stretch his legs and breathe and maybe even splash some water on his face.

“Yes, I did,” Buck replies, his voice equally low. “Besides, you would have done it for me.”

“Sure, but I wouldn’t have needed to do it for you,” Eddie shoots back, frustration heavy on his tongue. “You can fall asleep on a road trip without worrying about—”

He cuts himself off and sighs. “Sorry. Sorry, I’m—fuck.”

“I’ve been fine,” he insists, because it feels important that he make Buck understand that. That he’s capable, that he has himself together.

He always needs to have himself together.

“I had a couple bad weeks after everything with the well last year, but I bounced back. It’s not—this doesn’t happen that often, I don’t know why—”

“Eddie, I don’t even know what this is,” Buck says. He reaches out—stops, hesitating before his hand makes contact with Eddie’s shoulder, his eyes flicking up to search Eddie’s before finally closing the rest of the distance. It’s instinct to flinch from the touch, but Eddie tamps down on the impulse, instead focusing on the weight and heat of Buck’s hand pressing down, grounding, anchoring.

“So you had a bad dream,” he continues, shrugging. “Everyone does. The other day I woke up panicked because I dreamt I was kidnapped by a supervillain who pulled all of my teeth out. It happens. Plus, I still—”

Buck looks down and swallows hard. “I still dream about the tsunami. Sometimes. And about being trapped under the truck. And it never matters how either of those things actually turned out because in the dreams—nightmares—I always lose. Christopher. My leg. Brains can be assholes. But it’s not—you had a bad dream. You don’t have to apologize for that.”

“Alright, boys, we’re here,” Hen calls as the truck rolls to a stop. “Try to make it quick? I’d like to at least try to make it back in time to sleep a few hours in my own bed before my afternoon class.”

“You’re the best, Hen,” Buck replies. Eddie pushes himself up and opens the door to climb out. Even just standing on solid ground helps—he sucks in several breaths of fresh air, letting each one out slowly. The stars are bright and clear against the ink-black sky, the rest stop far enough from any major cities or the wildfire that light pollution or smoke don’t dim their shine. Buck’s hand brushes against Eddie’s back as he climbs out of the truck as well, a gentle, casual thing that feels more like habit than a deliberate touch. A subtle, familiar ghost that whispers I’m here, behind, hello.

Eddie doesn’t feel the urge to flinch away from that touch.

When Buck starts off in the direction of the restrooms, Eddie pushes off the truck and follows.

“I got my silver star after my platoon’s medical transport helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan,” he admits a few minutes later, after he washes his hands and splashes water on his face for good measure. “We crashed, I got almost everyone out of the wreckage. We took heavy fire...I really thought I was gonna die that night. Wound up with three bullet wounds and a medal and a hell of a lot of guilt over the one guy who didn’t make it home.”

“And Hen was in a helicopter crash yesterday,” Buck fills in. “That you watched happen.”

Eddie sighs. “And Hen was in a helicopter crash yesterday, yeah,” he admits. “I didn’t think—we were doing search and rescue in a wildfire, it wasn’t a battlefield, we weren’t getting shot at, and she was fine. She is. Fine. And I’m fine. There’s no reason—”

He rakes a hand through his hair. “I’m fine,” he repeats.

Buck goes quiet for a moment, catching his lower lip between his teeth. And then he says—

“I’m in therapy.” His tongue sweeps out and wets his lips. “I’m fine, too. But I’m in therapy. Because I realized that I didn’t want to settle for fine. And also that I could be...more fine. Finer. Finest.”

“Do you think that’s something I should be ashamed of?” He asks.

“Of course not,” Eddie says, his stomach dropping at the very thought. “I would never think—no, Buck that’s great—if it’s helping, I’m happy for you.”

“Then why are you ashamed of yourself just because your fine isn’t perfect?”

“I—” Words catch in Eddie’s throat as he squirms at the logic. He doesn’t think because it’s me is a response that’s going to fly, but that’s all that comes to mind. And maybe that means Buck has a point.

Buck takes a step closer, closing the distance between them. His hand curves around the side of Eddie’s neck, thumb pressing ever so lightly under Eddie’s chin to tip his head up. The look in his eyes is soft and makes Eddie feel exposed in an entirely different way than he had in the truck. But he doesn’t think he dislikes the feeling.

“You went through hell and you survived,” Buck says quietly. “So you have a few scars. You never have to be ashamed of that. Especially not in front of me.”

Eddie shudders out a breath and leans in, closing his eyes as he drops his head to Buck’s shoulder. Buck adjusts to wrap his arms around him, holding tight, and they stand there embracing for a long moment as the remaining tension bleeds from Eddie’s shoulders.

“Why did I hear TK telling you he’s in a serious relationship before we left?” Eddie asks once he feels steady enough to pull away.

Buck’s cheeks go pink as he laughs. “Uh—well. I think he thought I was coming onto him?”

Eddie bites his cheek to keep from smiling. “Were you? I guess he’s okay...if that’s the kind of look you’re into.”

Buck rolls his eyes. “You know there was only one person there I wanted to flirt with.”

“Marjan?” Eddie offers, and the eyeroll becomes an exasperated stare.

“I agreed to glacially slow, not nonexistent,” Buck points out, stepping in and leaning in and—

Eddie’s fingers curl into the front of Buck’s shirt as Buck’s mouth ghosts over his, using to grip to pull him down into a proper kiss.

“If he had stuck around long enough for me to get over my surprise, I would have told him I was spoken for,” Buck adds, a little breathless when he steps back.

“Glacially slow or not?”

“Glacially slow or not.” Buck’s lips curve up as he laces their fingers. “I told you months ago I didn’t mind waiting. I’m in this. However long it takes.”

Eddie squeezes his hand.

“Thank you,” he says. And there are so many things that could be meant by that, he’s not even sure he can name them all. But Buck seems to get it anyway.

“Come on. Let’s go back.”

“Let’s go home,” Eddie adds. Their hands slide apart as they leave the restroom, but Eddie still feels Buck’s warmth sinking into his skin, like sunlight chasing away shadows. And as he climbs back into the truck, he thinks that maybe Buck’s right. Maybe he could be more than fine. Maybe admitting that isn’t a bad thing.

When he falls asleep again, he doesn’t dream.

#chapel writes #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 fic #buddie fic

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psychospeak-blog · 4 years ago

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Won’t Go Slowly // 69

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The thing was, you were used to going to rinks and hockey events with Tyler. You were used to the meeting up with him, to the feeling like you were somehow being signaled out when it was obvious that he knew you or that you were getting special treatment.

You were not used to going to these events as his girlfriend.

You also think you'd only been to Biosteel Camp once before, that week the marking the separation of his life with you and his life in the NHL.

But some things were different now that you had a child with who you wanted to share new experiences. So when Tyler had asked you to come, you'd agreed, realizing that having Bentley come along added a layer of excitement to go to a hockey game, even if it was just a scrimmage. Which is exactly why you had Bentley dressed in Dallas Stars colours, even though Tyler himself wouldn't even be wearing them. You'd decided that you didn't want to drive into the city by yourself, which is why you had Bentley packed up to head in with Tyler for the day, in his jeep which seemed to be your new family vehicle.

"You might want to get into this lane here," Tyler said, leaned forward, and then looking over his shoulder, "But there's a car right behind you so -"

"I have driven before, you know," you laughed, and Tyler sheepishly sat back.

"Sorry, sorry," he said, "I like to be in control, especially when you're driving my car."

"I've driven your car before, too," you said.

"Well, I still like to be in control."

"You're in control of him," you said, nodding towards the backseat, where Bentley was in his car seat.

Tyler turned in his seat, looking at the mirror that reflected Bentley's face back at you. "He's sleeping."

"Tyler," you whined, your whole body moving in a sigh.

"What?" he asked, completely oblivious.

"You never, ever point out that a baby is sleeping when you really don't want them to wake up."

"Is that a thing?"

"Yes, it's a thing."

"Well, I didn't attend the parenting classes, I don't know," he said, "It's not in my book."

"I didn't go to a parenting class," you laughed.

"Yeah, you did," Tyler said, looking at you, and you wracked your brain until you remembered.

"That was a childbirth class. And I went to a baby CPR class," you said, thinking, your eyes glancing towards him, "Would you go to one of those?"

"A baby CPR class?" Tyler asked, and you nodded, "If you want me to?"

"I just think it would be a good idea for us both to know it if we're gonna be living together. Officially," you said, "And he's gonna be starting solids soon so he could choke."

"He could choke?" Tyler asked, in alarm, "I thought babies ate like... mush."

"Well, they do eat soft stuff," you confirm, "but it's a different texture. They have to get used to it."

"I'll go if you’ 'll come with me and take it again?" Tyler asked hopefully.

"Deal," you agreed, "I mean if we can find someone to watch Bentley."

"We can find someone to watch Bentley," Tyler said confidently. "Jamie can do it."

"Jamie?" you repeated.

"Yeah, he's great with kids," Tyler said.

"Yeah, but it's just not about being great with kids, watching a baby isn't the same thing as hanging out with an older kid."

"You let me watch him."

"Yeah, but you're different," you said.

"What? How?"

"You know...." you said, taking your hand off the wheel for a moment and gesturing back and forth between him and Bentley in the backseat to demonstrate that connection and Tyler cleared his throat loudly, and you placed your hand obediently back on the wheel.

"Well, I wouldn't let any of the guys watch him unless I knew they could do it," Tyler said, "He's got a niece, he babysits for other kids on the team."

"Really?" you asked in surprise.

"Yeah, we're more than just hockey players, you know," Tyler said, "we have skills."

"I know, I know, I just -" you laughed because you didn't quite know how to put into words that it felt overwhelming to think about having someone other than family watch your baby, even though you knew it was okay.

It didn't really feel like your home there, yet.

"We just started dating babe, and I know we were fucking for like a year, but that's different."

"Tyler," you said in shock, with the baby in the back seat, so blunt, and you felt his eyes on you.

"Moving in together is a really big deal. When you've been together for years and just ---"

"You think we shouldn't move in together?"

"What? No," Tyler said, "I'm just saying that.... we need to make sure we have time for each other. It's not just us, there's a kid and I just...if we're gonna do this whole parent thing, I think we just need to make sure we work on our relationship too. And I don't mean like pawn the kid off as soon as we get there, obviously, I want to hang out with him. I just mean like...once a month or something."

And now you were imaging the anticipation that you might feel picking out just the right dress for a dinner out that Tyler had promised you after a long road trip, or sneaking moments throughout the day to find someplace fun nearby that Tyler hadn't discovered yet.

"Okay, deal," you said, your wide smile giving away what your feelings about actually getting to date Tyler.

"I know where I'm taking you first," Tyler said, the smile evidence in his voice.

"Where?" you asked by reflex, even though you realized he'd want it to be a surprise.

"To the backyard," Tyler said, laughing even before he got the words out. "Then you won't have to worry about worry about Bentley because we'll be right there."

"Okay, I wasn't that bad," you clarified, "The was the first time that I'd left him with someone who....wasn't involved in making him," you finally decided on, and Tyler burst out laughing.

"It's fine, babe, I get it," Tyler said simply, his voice filled with an understanding that you didn't think you had until you actually had your own child.

"Love you," you said simply, because you couldn't put it into words how much it meant that he never questioned would feelings when it came to Bentley.

"Love you too," he replied, your tender moment being interrupted by Bentley's abrupt cry.

"Oh, what's the matter?" Tyler asked his voice sickly sweet, turning in his seat to see what was going on in the back.

"You're okay," you soothed, "we're just going for a car ride."

"Yeah, you're gonna go watch hockey," Tyler added, to which Bentley let out an even louder cry, "Okay, I guess you don't like hockey."

"He likes hockey," you said.

"How do you know?" Tyler asked.

"Because we used to watch it all the time when he was a newborn."

"Oh, so you who never used to watch hockey suddenly became a huge fan, huh?" he asked, his voice playful.

"Tyler, you literally watched the whole of Grey's Anatomy with me and baked everything I wanted with me even though you hate measuring."

"Well, it's so specific," Tyler said, waving his hand, and you laughed because you could somehow at least always convince him to hang out in the kitchen with you while you whipped up a batch of muffins or cookies.

"But, yeah, Bentley and I watched every game because we missed you."

"Aww," Tyler said, clearly exaggerating how adorable it was, but you could hear the smile in his voice.

"This'll be a test to see if he can handle going to a real game," you said, Bentley still making himself known from the backseat.

"Well, it'll probably be easier to take him to a Stars game," Tyler said, turning and reaching into the backseat, you assumed to see if he could grab Bentley's pacifier with the way he was reaching around.

"Why?" you asked, the simple amount of people seeming overwhelming to you because the person you felt understood Bentley just as well as you did would literally be on the ice.

R 5 4th 344

"Because you can just take him into the family room if you don't want to sit with him in the seats or need somewhere to feed him or change him or whatever."

"What's that?" you asked, Tyler huffing out a laugh, and you were reminded just how foreign this whole world was to you.

"It's a suite where all the girls hang out," Tyler said, "There's a bunch of toys and stuff for the guy's kids. He'll probably be more psyched to hang out there than watch the game."

"Oh," you said quietly, still trying to process this all, and focusing on the fact that he was referring to the players’ kids, and not just family friends.

"When do you think he's gonna be able to walk?" Tyler asked, drawing you out of your thoughts.

"Umm...after he learns to crawl?" you said, Tyler making noise to let you know that was rather obvious.

"I'm just stoked for him to run down the hallway towards me after a game," Tyler said, his arms raised and flailing about, mimicking the determined and yet awkward way that toddlers ran.

"Yeah, that'll be cute," you said, caught in that place where you wanted your baby to stay little forever, but were also looking forward to seeing how his personality would continue to emerge.

"You fed him before we left, right?" Tyler asked, Bentley still making himself known from the backseat, and you nodded your affirmation.

"He's just fussy," you said, recognizing his cry.

"What do I do?" Tyler asked, "Like how did you even do this by yourself?"

You laughed a little under your breath, Tyler turned in his seat, looking at you like you had all the answers. And although you'd driven with him before so many times, it was always him driving, and now he seemed a little out of his comfort zone like he was doing the wrong thing, even though you knew if Tyler had him in the car by himself he'd figure it out.

"Just talk to him," you offered.

"Like about what?"

"Anything," you said. "he just wants to hear your voice. Like when I was taking him to my mom's on Father's day, I told him all about what Father's day was. And why we were getting you a gift, and why you were spending time with your dad.."

"Awe," Tyler said, "Hmm..."

You didn't even realize you laughed until Tyler instructed you not to laugh at him because he was thinking and that he was under pressure now because you'd told Bentley something sweet, so he just couldn't tell any old story.

"Oh, I know," Tyler said, his voice even and thoughtful, "I'll tell you about the first time I realized that your mom was going to be a good mom."

And now you were pretty sure that you were paying even more attention to the timbre of Tyler's voice than Bentley was.

"So one time Grandma Jackie and Papa went to go out, so Uncle Ty-Ty had to babysit your Auntie Candace and Cassidy," Tyler said, "And because Mommy's awesome, she came over to help."

"That's when you knew?" you asked suddenly.

"Shh..."Tyler said, "I'm telling the story to Bentley, not you."

"Oh, sorry."

"Anyways," Tyler continued, pointedly, "Because Mommy was secretly in love with me she gave up her Friday night to come to hang out and help me."

"Don't tell him that," you laughed.

"Oh, right, it was because she was a nerd."

"Tyler," you laughed.

"Anyways, I appreciated it," he said, "So we were just hanging out watching a movie or something after we the girls had gone to bed, and then we heard this big crash from the kitchen."

And now you knew exactly what he was getting at, still feeling like that teenager responsible for someone only a few years younger than you77 even though you now had a child of your own.

"And of course we ran up there, and there was glass all over the place," Tyler said, his voice showing just how shocking it was, "Because Auntie Cass wanted some water and she didn't think she needed to come ask for help because she wanted to do it by herself."

"Which is why you'll be drinking out of a sippy cup until you're 12," you said.

"Yeah," Tyler laughed, "Anyways, so because Uncle Ty-Ty didn't think about what was doing he yelled, and what did Auntie Cass do? She cried. Yeah, even louder than you're crying right now."

"See, Uncle Ty-Ty was just scared that she was going to hurt herself more and he didn't think about how she might feel, but Mommy did," Tyler said, "She was so calm, and she just knew the right thing to say."

As Tyler's voice softened, you could hear the noises coming from Bentley softening, too.

"She knew just how to calm her down," Tyler said, "Because Uncle Ty-Ty didn't even know why she was crying, and if Mommy wasn't there, Auntie Cass probably would have been crying until Grandma got home."

"That's why I knew she was going to be a good Mom," Tyler said, more to you now than Bentley, "Because she cares a lot, but she also thinks about how other people are going to feel. She always knows just what to say to make people feel better. So I was really, really glad she was there."

"Well, I was glad you were there," you said, "I was freaking out."

"You were not," Tyler said, "I was freaking out."

"So was I," you confirmed, "You know how I hate that stuff."

"Well, you couldn't tell," Tyler said.

"Well, you couldn't tell you were freaking out either," you confirmed.

"'Cause you were there," Tyler said, even though it was the same for you, "I don't know why my mom didn't just ask you to babysit."

"Because you had it under control," you insisted, "It was your idea to take them to the corner store and let th6em pick out a chocolate bar to have with our ice cream."

"Yeah, cause they always take my money," Tyler said, a subtle uptick of his lips.

"You can't say no," you laughed, Tyler no longer able to hide his smile. And it was him who suggested Cassidy come sit with you on the couch after you'd cleaned up the glass, Tyler carrying her to bed after she'd fallen asleep during the movie, something which had made him seem so much older than the sixteen years he'd been at the time, Tyler looking over his shoulder now.

"Okay, apparently we were boring before he got here," he said.

"A little bit. I think he liked your story though," you said, "But you gotta stop only telling him good stories about me. We need like a storybook."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't tell him," Tyler said, his voice playful and teasing. "I'll always hype you up, babe. I'm like your hype man."

"Well, listen when you're out there because we're gonna cheer for you," you said.

"I will," Tyler smiled, looking back again. "He's already got the shirt though."

"He's got all the shirts, one for each game of the season, " you said, Tyler laughing.

"Do you think he'll wake up at all?" Tyler asked as you pulled into town, getting closer to that arena you'd spent so much time in as a teenager.

"Oh yeah," you said confidently, as Bentley was getting more and more interesting and aware of the world around him each day. "Where do you want me to drop you off?"

"Just up here," Tyler said, pointing to an open spot, and you noticed the 6other guys arriving after having driven to the rink on their own, whereas you felt like you were drawing attention to yourself with the way you were arriving.

"I feel like I'm your mom dropping you off at practice," you said.

"Nah," Tyler said, leaning across the console towards you, pressing his lips easily to yours before you even had a chance to process what was happening. "I'm not embarrassed to kiss you in front of my friends."

You weren't expecting him to grasp the back of your head though, pulling you to him for a deeper kiss, his hand tangling in your ponytail, and you knew you'd have to fix it, but you didn't care, smiling against his lips.

"You need anything before I go?" he asked.

"No, we're good, we're just gonna go pick up Brooke," you said, Bentley still sleeping, hoping he'd be able to get a bit more of a nap in while you did that, so he'd wake up rested and hopefully on his own. "Dani's gonna meet us here."

"K, well tell Bentley to look out for puck bunnies."

"Tyler!" you scolded, which he scrunched his nose up at, laughing.

"Hey, I said watch out for them, like avoid them, not look for them."

"Mhmm," you said, teasingly.

"I'll see you in a bit," he promised, and you kissed him once more, certain that he was being even more quiet than usual when getting his gear out of the back as if not to wake Bentley, hearing him talking to the other guys although you couldn't hear what they were saying, part of you wondering if he was explaining why he was arriving with such an entourage.

You were, however, thankful that you had brought your somewhat of an entourage with you, setting up a spot in the stands with your diaper bag which you'd tried to pare down as little as possible, Bentley curled up in Brooke's lap, eyes blinking drowsily as he began to realize that he was somewhere new.

"Oh, you made it," you said, when Danielle found you, knowing that she'd have to come by after work, your summer this year so much different than last, when you were still working regular hours.

"Well, yeah, I got to spend as much time as possible with you guys before you leave," she said, leaning down to hug you.

"I know," you said, your voice bittersweet, but as you felt the excitement of the kids around you thinking about getting a chance to see their favorite hockey player in person and your eyes watching Bentley's reaction, you couldn't help but think that this was even better than the love you'd imagined you'd have in your life last year, the experience of getting to see all these things that seemed so ordinary before through Bentley's eyes your new favourite thing.

"You look like you're having an existential crisis," Danielle said, laughing as she sat down next to you.

"It's just...I used to spend so much time here in high school," you said, looking at the rink around you, "just because it was something to do and because we would all go get food afterward. And I never even paid attention to what offsides were and barely noticed when Tyler scored and now I'm like... if you told me I would be sitting here with his baby completely invested, I would have thought you were crazy."

And yet it made you smile, having all this history with him.

"Careful how loud you say that baby part," Danielle said, eyebrows raised, although this was more about the kids getting a chance to see their favourite players in action, not so much the gossip and rumours that swirled online. "We are going out to eat though, right? Because that's the only reason I came."

"Yeah, Tyler said there's a good sushi spot we can check out," you said, which was pretty much all he suggested when you went out to eat, knowing how much you'd missed real sushi while pregnant. "We brought Bentley's stroller in case he naps."

"Tyler's paying, right?" Danielle asked, her voice giving away that she didn't care either way.

"I mean, it was his idea.." you said. And although he teased you relentlessly about whose turn it was to pick up the cheque he pretty much always did. Although he was more appreciative of when you grabbed him eggs at the store before he even noticed he was running low or arrived at his house after work on a warm summer day with a frozen lemonade for you both. "We'll have to wait a bit though, he's doing this video interview piece or something? For a YouTube channel called Spittin Chiclets?"

"That's fine," Danielle said, leaning over towards Bentley, "you want to spend more time with Auntie Danielle, right? Before you have to move because of silly hockey?"

And you tilted your head at her, wanting to just enjoy this time you had left at home with all of your people, not thinking about how you were currently uprooting half your life. It was almost like when you went away to university, leaving your summer essentials at home, except now you were a full-fledged adult and would be in a completely different country, not just an easy drive down the road.

There had to be a handbook for 7y.

"He's doing Spittin' Chiclets?" Brooke asked, and you broke your gaze away from Bentley in his Dallas Stars onesie, so much bigger than the first time he'd spotted the gear, noting the look on her face.

"Yeah, is it...not good?" you asked.

"No, no, I mean it's fine, everything's fine," Brooke said. "They're just gonna definitely ask him if he has a girlfriend."

You still froze, even though he'd kissed you’d in the car, and been the first to be vocal about the fact that he had a girlfriend.

"Do a lot of people watch it?" You asked, hesitantly, wondering if this was going to be where things really started getting serious.

"Kind of?" Brooke said, her tone letting you know that, in fact, a lot of people would be paying attention to Tyler's actions and words, and you wondered if you should have talked about this with him, even though he'd been being followed the whole camp. "I’m sure it will be fine though."

"And it's not like it's live," Danielle added.

"Yeah, it's edited, I'm sure they'll edit it out if he says something dumb," Brooke said, the slight uptick of her lips indicating that Tyler would be the one to not think before he spoke.

But you weren't exactly so sure how they could blur out that tattoo he had of your son's name across his ribs, the date so clearly connected with that game he'd missed in April, especially with Tyler's propensity to take his shirt off well working out.

Or anytime, really, part of you wishing that it was as inconspicuous as that tattoo he got for you.

But Tyler had never really been the one to shy away from sharing things, even if it was the declaration that it was personal.

So, instead, you focused on the fact that this was Bentley's first time in a hockey arena, getting to see Tyler play for the first time in person in the same place you had.

It was a lot easier than you thought, getting lost in the screams of excitement from around you, and you found yourself picking up Bentley, joining the group of kids who were waiting to see the players emerge from the tunnel. And, because you couldn’t resist when you heard the delighted calls trying to gain Tyler's attention, you tried to sneakily ease yourself in on the end, taking Bentley's hand in yours and extending it as if he was waiting for a fist bump too. Tyler might have missed it had it been during the season but he wasn't forced to focus, looking up talking to the kids as he passed by in greeting, his grin growing wider when he saw you, eyebrows raise in acknowledgment that he'd get to you, so you stood up a little more, easing out of the way.

When Tyler got to you though, he didn't reach out his glove towards Bentley's hand like you thought he would, instead of shaking it off and tucking it under his arm, extending his hands out and motioning with his fingers for you to hand the baby over.

"Give him to you?" You asked like you weren't understanding him properly. Tyler didn't answer you but nodded emphatically, so you shifted Bentley, holding on tight to his torso as you held him over the railing, Tyler reaching up to support his weight quickly, and then easily shifting Bentley onto his hip, Bentley's eyes going wide with interest, Tyler's large hand splayed easily across his stomach. You weren’t going to lie and say that you didn’t hold your breath when Tyler stepped onto the ice with your four-month-old, but Tyler was watching him carefully, Bentley's body barely even moving with the movement. Somehow, Tyler managed to turn around without his feet even moving, giving you a view of him watching Bentley's reaction.

And then your brain caught up to where you were, that you couldn't stay stuck in this moment forever, fishing your phone out of your pocket to take a picture. You could see Tyler talking to Bentley but couldn't hear what he was saying, pointing towards you like he thought he could encourage a baby to not only make eye contact but smile for a picture. You thought you'd got a decent one but Tyler frowned though, motioning back a forth between you and then spinning his hand around, gesturing for you to turn around. Cluelessly, you looked behind you, seeing Danielle and Brooke there, realizing that Tyler wanted you to get in the picture too, and you swire you could hear Tyler giggling at you, shooting him a look over your shoulder as you inched up near the glass, hearing Tyler's laugh grow even louder as you shook your head. You focused on smiling for the picture, resisting 6he urge to just watch Tyler and Bentley the whole time, knowing you’d get to enj9tseeing the picture later. When Danielle put her phone down, you walked back over to meet Tyler to get Bentley, leaning your body over, getting closer to him than you'd probably ever been with him in full ge8ar.

"You got him?" Tyler asked, his voice louder than you were expecting.

"Yep," you affirmed, your voice confident and yet Tyler kept his hands his hands around Bentley's waist for a moment too, and then dropped him them suddenly with a gasp like he'd just dropped the baby, your heart skipping a beat even though you knew you had him.

"Tyler," you chided, pulling Bentley into your body but not looking at him quite just yet, giving Tyler a stern look. "Don't do that."

He laughed, his lips turning up in a smirk, and then you could have sworn he puckered them just a bit as though blowing you an apology kiss before sprinting onto the ice in a way that would have had you landing hard on your backside.

You shook your head, addressing Bentley. "Did you go on the ice?" You asked enthusiastically, using your hand to fix his onesie where it was riding. "What did you think? Mommy's not so sure how she feels about it."

"I’m surprised Tyler hasn't bought him skates yet," Danielle said, and you smiled, shifting Bentley onto your hip and then sitting back down.

"I told him there's no point buying him skates until he can walk," you said, holding Bentley in your lap, bending over to get him something to hold out of his diaper bag, not wanting him to get restless too soon. "And then I'll deal with it once Bentley can walk."

"He's totally gonna convince you, you know," Danielle laughed.

"I know," you sighed because Tyler could smile in a way t h at was so damn charming that he was pretty much the only one who could convince you of putting a bra and real clothes back on after you’d gotten home from work to go out for the evening or give up your paid time off to fly down to visit him for only a day or two.

"It goes both ways though," Danielle said, and you smiled at that main example of that that you had sitting in your lap. "He looks at you all googly-eyed all the time, and like finally I don’t have to pretend not to see it like I did all last summer."

"Okay, he was not looking at me like that all last summer," you clarified, because that you would have noticed. And maybe he did look at you a little more often but he was just being ... caring.

"Little bit," Danielle said, and now you smiled a bit, her sitting down next to you, flipping the ears on Bentley's toy. You all jumped though, when there was a large bang on the glass in front of you and you didn't even have to look up to now it was Tyler and that ge was trained on your reaction.

"Why does he always do that?" You said, laughing when you took in Bentley's startled expression.

"Flirting," Danielle said matter-of-factly.

"Well, he can stop," you said, "he already sweet-talked me into moving in with him."

"Well, stop blushing then," Danielle said, and now you felt the heat in your cheeks.

You were so screwed.

"I’m not, it's just a bit warm in here," you tried.

"It's an ice rink," Brooke pointed out, and you bit back a laugh, looking out onto the ice, the reason that you were here.

The baby.

"Do you think he's warm enough?" You asked

You'd actually put pants on him for the first time in months so he was in layers, but you hadn't actually expected him to go out on the ice.

"Tyler?" Brooke asked, and you had to look over at her to know she was joking. "Yeah, pretty sure the stuff they have them wear is pretty warm."

"No, Bentley," you said, "I don't care if Tyler's warm enough. Well, I care, but he can deal with it, he's the one who chose to play this ice sport."

That garnered a laugh from both Brooke and Danielle, Bentley looking around curiously as if he didn't understand what was quite so funny, yet wanted to be in on the joke.

"He doesn't feel cold," Danielle said, taking Bentley's hands in hers, feeling them. You leaned down anyways, pulling his blanket out so you could tuck it around his feet.

"I was gonna put a footsie pajama on him but Tyler said he'd be too warm," You said, "And he's too old to be going out in his jammies now."

Danielle stifled a laugh, which came out as a snort. "Wait, he thinks he's a baby stylist now?"

"He gets disappointed if he comes home from the gym and I already have Bentley dressed, " You said. He was actually good at it, too, picking out coordinated outfits and often pairing them with a hat, which he said was to keep the sun out of Bentley's eyes but you suspected was just for looks. He'd asked you a couple of times for certain things that you didn't have, making you feel confident 5hat Bentley's wardrobe was going to be growing once you moved to your seasonal home.

"Whatcha looking at?" You asked Bentley, his eyes gazing around in front of you, the sound of skates against ice surrounding you, and you spotted Tyler immediately, watching his arou3nd the front of the net. You took his Bentley's hands in yours, clapping them together like he was cheering. "Can you say 'Go Dada'"?

As soon as you heard the word come out of your mouth you tipped your head back, letting out an exasperated sigh.

Sure, it wasn't the first time that you'd done that, but you really, really had to stop doing that.

Especially when there were people around. Yet, you couldn’t really do it in your head either as that just made it more real, the word could slip out that much easier.

"I can't believe that I did that again," you said because Brooke and Danielle were looking at you, like maybe you'd maybe that transition and you'd hadn't told anyone yet.

"..he's still not?" Danielle said, her voice soft and yet you understood her words.

You shrugged and shook your head easily because you’d slipped up a couple times already and he hadn't mentioned it, but he'd referred to himself as Uncle in the car. "It would be so much easier if he just....stopped acting like a dad," you confessed. You laughed because it was so much easier to stick to the uncle’s word when Tyler was looking to Bentley to play with and was ready to look to you the second he started fussing.

"You know he's committed though, right?" Danielle asked, turning to you.

"Yeah, I know," you said because that was one thing you'd never doubted.

"As he asked you to move in with him," she continued. "That's a huge deal. Especially for Tyler."

"What is that supposed to mean?" You laughed.

"You know how he always talks about girls being 'clingy' if they spend the night," she said, "and then you spent practically every night at his house last summer."

"I did not spend every night at his house," you protested, and Danielle gave you a pointed look. "Okay, but it wasn't like a thing."

"Yeah, exactly," she said, with satisfaction, as if you just proved her point. "He, like, wanted you as his "friend" there. Now imagine living together on purpose."

"Yeah," you said dreamily because that was what you were really looking forward to, not the casual keeping things at each other's place that could easily be packed up, but having your lives so intertwined that you no longer knew which things were whose.

"Okay, let's just...stop talking about the move," you said because you'd been so focused on packing and planning that you just wanted to escape for an afternoon. "We're supposed to be here to watch the game, and we have no idea what's going on.."

"Yeah, you're so into him," Danielle teased, her smile matching yours. "Never have you been so interested in hockey."

"Well, I got to teach Bentley what's going on," Tyler's not gonna help me explain when he's out there."

You were glad, though, that you were able to catch bits and pieces of the game between your chatting and keeping Bentley entertained because you caught Tyler's goal, standing Bentley up on your lap. "Go "Yay!", you said, dancing him around on your lap until he let out a happy giggle, just catching Tyler's glance towards where you were seated.

"The only one you're gonna have to compete with for Tyler's attention is this guy," Danielle said, her fingers tickling Bentley's belly, causing a delighted squeal.

"And the dogs," you said, "but I am totally okay with that, that’s exactly what I signed up for."

You were also glad that Bentley was handling the big outing like a champ, especially with him being awake for longer periods during the day now. But you were definitely grateful for the extra hands, Danielle soaking up as much time with Bentley as she could.

"Wow, so this is what being a WAG is like," Brooke said after you’d given your name so you could go and meet Tyler after.

"Okay, this is no different than before," you said, leading the way through the hallways that were so familiar to you, finding Tyler leaning against the wall, his damp hair curling around his face.

"Hey," he said, pushing himself off the wall when he saw you, hand curving around your waist as he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

"But that's different," Danielle said, and you laughed under your breath. Tyler raised his eyebrows a bit but didn't ask about it.

"Hey, guys," he said instead, reaching out to brush his finger against Bentley's hand. "Was he okay ?"

"Yeah, he stayed awake the whole time, he was watching," you said, meaning that he was looking at everything going on around him, not at just what was happening on the ice. But Tyler didn't need to know that.

"Yeah, I saw you cheering, " Tyler said in his baby voice, "while mommy was sleeping."

"It was the one time," you defended, which made Tyler laugh, your smile betraying your false annoyance. "Are you ever gonna let me forget it?"

Tyler shook his head, a smirk played on his face. "Don't even with the pregnancy thing, I know you can stay awake when you really want to."

"You fall asleep too," you insisted.

"No, I don't," he scoffed, and you nodded. "When?"

"You slept his whole first night on the hospital," you said, nodding towards Bentley.

Which was a bit much, because it wasn't like it was his responsibility to wake up to check on the baby, but Tyler just tilted his head, a smile spreading across his face.

"Okay, you're right," he admitted, looking through the doorway to the gym where there was a small crew setting up for the shoot. "I'll probably be like 20 minutes or something if you guys want to go ahead, I can meet you there."

"We can wait," Danielle answered for you, bouncing Bentley, and you nodded your agreement.

"K, we're ready for you, Segs," a voice said and you followed the voice to see a tall man, just a little surprised that Tyler was talking to a group of people, yet he seemed to recover quickly.

"This is Biz," Tyler introduced, at the same time as he introduced himself as Paul and you looked at Tyler in confusion, even as you introduced yourself. "Hockey thing," Tyler clarified.

"Oh," you said, redirecting yourself to the handshake and repeating your name once more, which you were certain you heard Tyler snicker about. You enjoyed watching Tyler more than you thought you would actually, listening to him talk about his training routine and summer schedule while Danielle walked down the hall with Bentley, a quick glance making you think she searching for your grad class photos to point out to Bentley, even though so many more photos of Tyler alone or with his hockey team existed amongst those walls.

"So, usually come out here early and train and then get on the ice for a bit, then I drive back to the lake, unwind, do stuff around the house, cook dinner.."

"By yourself?" Paul/Biz asked now, and Tyler's lips ticked up into a mischievous smirk.

"Maybe."

"So are you extending the invite then?"

"I mean, just with the guys I train with," Tyler said, Biz's eyebrows raising.

"Well, I don't think I got the invite."

"Currently still train with," Tyler clarified.

"Hey, I think I could still jump in here."

Tyler's eyes trained up and down his body as if in evaluation. "Yeah, you look pretty ripped."

"Oh, not like you," Biz scoffed, gesturing towards Tyler, wheels seeming to turn in his head. "Any girlfriend?"

You watched Tyler's eyes dart towards your direction and then bounce back as they'd never been there, his lips turning up in a boyish grin, arms crossing over his chest. "Yeah."

You watched as Biz's eyes bulged out of his head in shock, examining Tyler like he wasn't sure if he was telling the truth.

"No shit," he said, pushing Tyler in the arm, and then somewhat glancing where you were standing with Brooke. "Is she here?"

Tyler shook his head, running his hand over his chin. "No," he said, settling his hand on his jaw before he smiled mischievously. "Is that all about her then, like..?"

"I mean, unless you have something else to say about her then," Biz said, speaking with his hands.

"I mean, she's awesome," Tyler said, "I like her."

And you brushed the confusion of that you felt off until Tyler siled back up next to you, afterward, his voice low like it was just meant for you. "Hey, I just said you weren't here cause," he nodded towards Bentley, "I just don't want anything to slip by accident."

"Okay," you said easily, thankful your mind didn't go there, but equally appreciative that he'd thought to explain it to you, your eye wandering over the walls behind him. "It’s weird being back here, eh?"

"Eh?" Tyler teased, "I mean, I've been here pretty much every day this summer but.."

"You know what I mean," you clarified.

Tyler ran his hand over his chin, taking his time in response. "I don't know, I kind of like where I am now."

You raised your eyebrows, giving him a look to show he was right, and he returned your gaze, looking briefly over his shoulder, and you got the impression he was ready to leave.

"We're good," Biz said, making his way back over, your head turning as you thought you heard Bentley starting to make fussing noises. "So this the girl then?" He asked, nodding towards you, and you shot Tyler a look as Biz waited for his response, because Tyler really wasn't as subtle as he thought he was.

"Well.. yeah," he admitted, letting out a breath of laughter like he’d been caught with a secret he'd just been waiting to reveal.

And now Biz was reintroducing himself to you again, and you had a brief glimpse into what it felt like to be Tyler Seguin's girlfriend rather than just you.

"How'd you guys meet?" He asked, and you found yourself deferring to Tyler, like you weren't sure how much he wanted to share.

"We went to school together actually," Tyler said, "high school. She was smart enough to go to University."

"Really?" Biz asked like he'd expected Tyler to say you met at a party or through Instagram, not that you'd met when Facebook was just becoming a thing.

"Yeah, her picture's up around here somewhere."

"You got any good stories?" Biz asked, turning his attention back to you.

"No, she does not," Tyler answered for you, his arm coming around you, pressing a kiss to your temple, and you felt yourself relax with his presence. You turned only when you heard Bentley cry, Tyler allowing you to pull away. You instinctively reached out to take Bentley from Danielle, bouncing him as you turned back, trying to settle Bentley's head against your chest, knowing that he must be getting tired.

"Kid too?" Biz asked, and you failed to notice it was a joke, freezing when you realized that Tyler's hand was settled on your waist, both of you leaning in towards the baby like attentive parents.

Tyler's hand shifted on you as he turned, his hand moving across his face as he spoke. "It's...kind of a long story.," he said, and Biz looked at you both apologetically, realizing he hadn’t thought through his words before he spoke. But it was okay. "I'll have to tell you about it sometime."

You were glad that that quelled everything, half-listening to the small talk about the start of the season, putting Bentley into his carrier, not wanting to miss the window for getting him to sleep. Brooke and Danielle went ahead to get you a table at the restaurant while you and Tyler took your time saying goodbye a little more slowly, moving your body to soothe Bentley, and getting a few comments about how cute he was.

"You okay with him?" Tyler asked once you were making your way out of the arena like he hadn't just been playing hockey.

"Yeah, I don't want to move him and wake him up," you said, keeping on hand on Bentley's back, but using the other to reach for Tyler's hand, Tyler's lips turning up into a soft smile as he intertwined his fingers with yours.

"No, we don't want that," Tyler agreed.

"I barely even held him in there, either," you said with a smile, loving that everybody loved him as much as you did.

"Oh, look whose Mr. Popular," Tyler teased.

You heard the excited little gasps which meant you turned to see a group of kid's yelling "Tyler Seguin!" like Tyler needed to hear his full name in either to respond.

"Looks like you're Mr. Popular," you said with a smile, and Tyler gave you a slightly sheepish look, you letting him slide away, and he instantly turned his attention to the kids, just as excited to see them as they were to see him.

You leaned down, pressing your lips to Bentley's head, your hand rubbing up and down his back as you listened to Tyler talk excitedly with the kids about what position they played, and what made them love hockey in between pictures and autographs.

"Sorry'" Tyler said when he appeared back at your side, easing into you like he had something to apologize for, and you weren't just spending the entire time loving him. And you shook your head, smiling, and leaning in to kiss him, Bentley nestled between you.

Because him you’d wait forever for.

#wont go slowly #tyler seguin #tyler seguin imagine #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #nhl imagines #nhl imagine

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x--daughters-of-darkness--x · 3 years ago

Text

Outlanders: How Jinjer survived a revolution and built their own world

Jinjer’s resilient spirit was forged in the civil war that erupted their native Ukraine in 2014. As the groove metal quartet prepare to unleash their fourth and most complex album to date, singer Tatiana Shmayluk relives the turmoil that shaped them. Cue: one of modern music’s most remarkable tales of survival, resistance and sheer determination…

It was when the first fighter jet flew overhead that Tatiana Shmayluk realised she had to run.

For the past few months, the mood in Ukraine had been growing increasingly tense. As a former USSR state, in spring 2014 the country had only had independence from Russia since 1991. Many citizens had wanted then-President Viktor Yanukovych to sign an agreement aligning the country closer with the European Union in November 2013. Plenty of others wanted to stay close to Russia. Protests began across the country. Then violence. Then Yanukovych was ousted from office in February 2014. Then more violence.

“There was a revolution,” says Tatiana. “There were huge riots in the main square of Kiev. In the end, our president, his ass was kicked out and he left the country. That was crazy. And then everything turned into chaos. And that’s when people really started hating each other.”

That April, following a highly suspect vote on whether to stay or go which resulted in a widely disputed declaration of autonomy for the region around Tatiana’s home-city of Donetsk in the east of the country, on the border with Russia, armed conflict commenced, involving Russian troops, tanks and air power. So began what Tatiana calls “a civil war – Ukrainians attacking Ukrainians”, with those loyal to their former Soviet masters on one side, and those wanting to break free, and have independence and closer ties with the EU on the other.

You may remember news footage of protesters banging dustbin lids at lines of soldiers and riot police. The politics of the situation are obviously layered and complex, but the simple version is: imagine a turbo version of Brexit that actually tore the country in two and resulted in one region declaring an independence that’s somewhat disputed by most of the world that isn’t Russia. And with a lot more violence. And a conflict that’s still piling up bodies now.

Tatiana was having a barbecue when she realised what was about to happen. “We were at a picnic, not far away from my building where I lived,” she says today from her flat in the Ukrainian capital, Kiev. “We were just chilling on the grass, eating food and stuff. And we heard this loud sound in the sky – we looked up and saw a jet. And that was that. We just grabbed our stuff and ran home, and we started figuring out how to leave before it was too late.”

Had Tatiana and her friends – including other members of her band, Jinjer – waited much longer than they did, their passage to Lviv some 1,300 kilometres to the west, where bassist Eugene Abdukhanov and his wife were already living, might have been much more hazardous. Even as they “packed all our shit into a van” and made a break for it, the country was starting to change shape around them.

“Already there were borders built being built around our region,” she says. “And I remember when we were crossing it, we were met by a guy, a soldier with a weapon. And then we heard [machine gun fire] somewhere very close to us.”

As she describes this, Tatiana makes an almost amusing machine gun noise, but she is painfully aware that even seven years on, the situation remains a serious one. “There’s no way out for this problem,” she says, “No solution. And that’s really, really sad.” If one needed an example of the lasting effects here, her parents have remained behind in what she calls, with almost mundane succinctness, “the war zone”.

“There’s an actual border between Ukraine and the former parts of the country, and it’s all blocked. And due to the pandemic, they have no chance to cross borders,” she explains. “They cannot receive money from the government, their pensions. I always tell my mom, ‘Hey, mom, just try once to do this, make really big effort and cross this border, even [if you have to go] through Russia. Just come here and stay here. I can help you in any way possible.’ But she is old school. And when you have been living on this earth for over 60 years, it’s really hard to change your way of living.”

But that’s what Tatiana and Jinjer have had to do. And growing from such trying circumstances has only made them more rigid in their resolve. Because literally having to run for your life will have an effect on a person. “Growing balls, maintaining your balls,” is how she puts it.

“Of course, it makes you stronger,” she says. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Today, Tatiana has lived in Kiev for more than five years. As Jinjer’s singer, she is one of the rising stars of European metal, and made her living visiting countries as far-flung as Argentina, Australia and Japan to play her band’s music. Next week, the band release their fourth album, Wallflowers, a furious, razor-sharp work of metal that will delight fans of Cradle Of Filth and Conjurer alike, and will add nicely to streams that, in total, already sit at over 100 million.

Though she says that she’s only been recognised around town a handful of times, and that she probably gets noticed more for the tattoos that cover her arms and neck (“Old women who were born in the Soviet Union really reject people with tattoos,” she says. “They look at you like you’re a prisoner, or a prostitute…”) than for her music, at 34 life for Tatiana is very different to what she knew growing up. As a kid in the early ’90s, after the collapse of the USSR, her family were, she says, “average”, but there were clues that the Shmayluk family were not one of society’s ‘haves’.

“I remember that we couldn’t afford meat,” she recalls. “After the Cold War ended we got a lot of American food, like veggie burgers. It looked like oatmeal with brown [fake] chicken that you make into patties, and then you fry them. You eat them as kind of meat, but it’s not. It’s just some shit, like some very plastic stuff. I realised how poor we were. And I was crying, ‘Mom, I just want some meat. I don’t want to eat this.’”

Elsewhere, though, Tatiana remembers her childhood as being “great”, a time she looks back on with fondness. “We didn’t have internet and stuff, so we just played outside all day long. And school was awesome.” The food imports post-Cold War might not have been the most brilliant thing she had ever seen, but the new order also brought with it more western culture. MTV introduced six-year-old Tatiana to hip-hop (“I’d practice dancing like MC Hammer”), but via going through her brother’s room and raiding his tape collection – often bootlegs – she also got turned on to Nirvana, Metallica and The Offspring.

“We had this family tradition that every evening we had supper together around the same table,” she remembers. “When I discovered The Offspring, I put Smash on my huge headphones. I was sitting in a chair, eating, and I wasn’t talking to anyone from my family, just listening to music. And then when I finished, I just sat back and just enjoyed the music, doing nothing.”

Her ability to both lose and find herself in music turned into doing something more significant at high school when, after years spent doodling herself playing guitar in a band with other girls in a sketchbook, Tatiana performed her first gig as part of a talent contest, doing covers of songs by Limp Bizkit and German metallers Guano Apes (“No-one voted for us,” she laughs). Her first gig as an audience member, meanwhile, came a few years later, when Soulfly played in Kiev. Despite the fact she didn’t actually get to see Max Cavalera and his band onstage, it was an experience in itself.

“I traveled from Donetsk to Kiev, like, 700 – 800 kilometres,” she says. “My parents were very protective, they didn’t want me going anywhere on road trips or anything, and they didn’t give me any money to spend. I only got to watch maybe 30 minutes of the show, because my boyfriend got drunk and started a fight with someone. Security grabbed him and threw him out of the club. It was quite a shitty day!”

In 2010, aged 23, having completed language studies at university, and working briefly at a dating agency, Tatiana joined Jinjer. Two years later, they self-released their debut EP, Inhale, Don’t Breathe. A year after that, they played outside Ukraine for the first time, in neighbouring Romania. “That gave us a push to move forward, because we really liked it,” she says. “And although we didn’t bring any money back – we didn’t earn anything – we realised that we want to do this, and we’re going to overcome any obstacle that is waiting for us.”

Eight months later, this would be put to the test by fleeing the war. Having moved to Lviv, Jinjer – Tatiana, Eugene, guitarist Roman Ibramkhalilov and then-drummer Yevhen Mantulin – then all moved into what the singer describes as “a summer house” just outside the city. Soon, the band became a full-time concern. They still had nothing, but it was a more fun nothing.

“We were all just hoping for the best, touring just with money that we had, earning nothing, like one euro,” she says. “Sometimes we didn’t have anything to eat, basically, because we were broke, because everyone had just quit their jobs. We just had some coins to buy a beer. That was intense. But I remember those years only with a warm heart. That was fun. That was a really huge challenge for just people who had never done that before, but we happened to overcome all this shit because we stayed together.”

But as touring became a more regular thing and things for Jinjer seemed to be on the up and up, the band once again found themselves faced with bad luck that most will, mercifully, never know. On tour in 2014, they had a long drive to Russia for the next run of shows. Stopping at a friend’s house in Kiev for the night, Tatiana took a taxi back to her own place, leaving everyone else to continue partying and drinking. At 4am, she got a phone call about Yevhen.

“They said, ‘You have to come here because he’s broken his spine,’” she recalls. “He fell out of the window. Everyone [had gone] to sleep, and he stayed there in the kitchen, sitting on the window frame, smoking. And then he fell asleep, and fell from the third floor. They heard someone screaming in the middle of the night, but they didn’t realise – they thought that it was maybe a dog or something. And then someone checked the kitchen and he was not there. Then they looked down and saw him just lying there.”

By some miracle, he survived, though he no longer has use of his legs. Tatiana says she and his bandmates were “in shock for many years”, and that, “I remember we were all around him, toured with him, just hanging out, and then he’s just like… bam.” But even this incident, which left him in a wheelchair and unable to return to the band, is talked about in the same spirited, fighty way that Tatiana talks about every challenge.

“He seems very positive,” she says. “He’s doing music and he tours around Russia with a band. It’s kind of a hip-hop band, and he plays guitar. He’s still doing tours, so that’s awesome.”

Should you ask Tatiana to describe to you the Ukrainian national character, she’ll tell you that they are “stubborn”, and that as a whole they feel “we have nothing to lose”. She’ll also tell you that, “Ukrainians are very passionate people. Not like Italians [are passionate], for example, or Spanish people. We are passionate with a straight face, you know, not smiling – more like Russians.” When it comes to danger, meanwhile, she says that “we take risks easily”.

Surprisingly, despite the above description matching the impression you get of Tatiana from her story, she doesn’t think of herself as “a typical Ukrainian”. She does, though, nod in confirmation when asked if she sees playing music as a form of resistance. Before any of the bigger events and challenges, this spirited defiance started with becoming a musician at all, at home.

“The first time I resisted something that really prevented me from doing what I love was my parents,” she says. “Mostly my mom, who didn’t want to see me as a musician. In Ukraine, it’s kind of a big thing. If you’re a musician, it’s not respected. From 17 to 23, I was protesting [her], silently. I didn’t, like, yell at her; I didn’t fight with her. I just said, ‘Yeah, yeah,’ and I did my own thing. That’s when it started, and it’s still going this way.”

An example: on Wallflowers, there’s a song, Disclosure, in which Tatiana vents about treatment at the hands of certain media outlets in her homeland. Even being used to internet haters, giving the band shit for everything from daring to escape a warzone, to daring to have a female member, to daring to become successful, the experience left her boiling.

“Earlier this year, in March, me and Eugene went to some studio to do an interview with a Ukrainian guy who is a YouTuber, and he used to work on Ukrainian TV channels,” she says. “So there was a tense atmosphere, and very angry vibrations between us. And he was so manipulative. We had differences in our political views and stuff, and he didn’t want to accept that. So he really wanted to show us in a very bad, bad way. I was pissed off for three days after that, and wrote the song about it.”

As people with a profile, do you think you’re a target for that sort of thing?

“We absolutely are targets for those people, for haters,” Tatiana says. “They hate us for different reasons: for me being a woman, you know. And people think that we pay for [success], like with our money – some of them think that we are hugely rich. My mom is a bookkeeper! My dad worked in coal mining, he was a worker, just working class. But no-one cares. They always find something to blame us for. But at least they don’t do us any harm. Only with words and comments. It’s distant. They’re poison, but it goes nowhere.”

Tatiana Shmayluk is a self-evidently tough woman. She’s also extremely nice. Equally, she’s extremely modest. When she talks about her life’s trials and triumphs, survival and successes, she does so in a manner that almost shrugs these things off, that possibly anyone could do them. Possibly, if pushed by the sight of a war literally kicking off while you have a barbecue, we could. But it’s still surprising that, for someone with more real things to get angry about than most, she describes what she’s putting into Wallflower as simply “my whining and insecurities”.

“Every album, I find something to be angry about,” she says. “It’s pessimistic, but it’s nothing to do with the pandemic. The pandemic gave me some time to just sit and think about, different stuff that I’ve been going through. And we have to agree that the whole world isn’t getting any better – I put myself into this kind of state of mind that, ‘Okay, it’s almost the end of the world.’ Maybe the next album will be more optimistic and more positive. Maybe…”

Pessimism or not, none of it makes her story of prevailing against the things she has any less stirring. Never mind the fact that the band she fronts come from a country most tours don’t even stop at. She’s – rightfully – proud of Jinjer’s success, and the work ethic it’s taken to get them where they are, but she’s almost at pains to share the glory with her bandmates. And in part, it’s this that’s carried Jinjer through all this the most. It’s this, she says, that’s helped her both survive, and to thrive.

“I would never do this myself. I wouldn’t be able to work on so many obstacles just by myself,” Tatiana admits. “And if I had some type of my own personal career, just a single singer, I wouldn’t even start doing that. I really need those guys. And the guys, I hope they need me. That’s just how it works: all together. Even having nothing in our pockets and empty stomachs, we could work.

“It just depends on how big your dream is.”

#tatiana shmaylyuk #jinjer #2021 interviews

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