#also i might be projecting but thats IRRELEVANT

[nikolas-ghostbusters-fixation]

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how everyone thought Egon had gone insane. What Happened that made them think that. They've fought a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmellow Man TWICE (counting the 2009 video game because iirc it's canon? Correct me if I'm wrong), fought an interdimensional god, fought a blood thirsty ruler that killed thousands and was hated by all that was trapped in a painting (and managed to get in to beat him by making THE STATUE OF LIBERTY start walking down the street with slime that reacted purely based on vibes), found an underground abandoned transit system full of the moodslime, had a bathtub try to eat Dana and her baby, fought a giant murderous black widow lady, fought the fisherman ghost who turned an entire hotel floor into the bottom of a ocean, and that's not even mentioning them getting trapped on an island that randomly raised up from underwater that had been abandoned for decades created by Ivor Shandor who worshipped Gozer. So what did he do or say that made everyone else think he'd gone insane?? All I can think is maybe he was acting strange / eratic before, but he's always been like that to some degree.

I don't know. It's something that I've been thinking about. The correct answer is 'it's not that deep and they needed a reason that the others weren't together anymore and weren't aware of Egons death or know what was going on,' but also. What Was He Saying that prompted everyone, including Ray, to think he lost his mind when he'd been right almost every time before that.

I'm genuinely so curious as to what he was up to before this. What was he doing. What insane idea was working on prior to this or was he even working on anything at all??

Also want to clarify this post isn't negative 😭 I really love the newer movies and their lore / the newer storyline / characters, I just like thinking about small stupid things like this. Gives me something to think about / speculate about / figure out an answer to.

[archer3-13]

I dont think there's ever actually any confirmation on what Rasa [fourth kazekages] relationship was like with his other children, cause thinking on it i dont remember any commentary from the other sand siblings on what their relationship was like with their dad.

certainly they don't seem too aggrieved that hes gone, but at the same time thats because originally the fourth kazekages death was a complete afterthought. relevant only in the sense it was an out from further suna konoha conflict, and by the time the sand siblings showed up again other things were more important/relevant to the story. when rasa showed up as an edo tensai could have presented that opportunity of learning what those relations were like, but rasa showing up again is solely for the gaara therapy hours so he can get some closure. in that moment rasa might as well not have had any other children and gaara might as well not have had any other siblings.

not that i think rasa being a shit dad to his other kids is unreasonable fanon [cause that is technically what it is with the main story being reluctant to comment any which way], as interesting as I find the man he is much like chiyo a cock, cause everyone in suna projects as much asshole energy outwards as possible. and his handling of gaara as a human being was deplorable, even if it also highlights the very real and unaddressed problems of the shinobi world and its values where human individuality, liberty and rights are sacrificed in the name of village prosperity and nation statehood [as opposed to just him being a cock].

but by that same token, I think all thats really confirmed about how he treated the other sand siblings is that he kept gaara forcibly separated from them. and if you separate gaara from the fandom woobification of him and think about it from the perspective of a military nation states leader it makes sense to keep your dangerous ticking timebomb unstable murder weapon away from the easily breakable children that represent the villages chances of future success. I'd almost call it good parenting even [bar that gaara is also his kid] to keep the children away from the unstable murder weapon that keeps accidentally maiming anyone it gets close to.

but i think a lot of that is kinda irrelevant to the actual discussion fandom seems interested in on this matter, because I don't think most people headcannon rasa as a bad father to temari and kankuro based on the patterns of his characters behaviour. I think most people do it out of this idea of "sand sibling solidarity". gaara's the baby woobie of the naruto fandom [its most widely accepted one anyways], and the sand sibling dynamic is a popular one. so its cathartic to blame any of their earlier problems/dysfunction and distaste for gaara on the big ol mean rasa/fourth kazekage.

and I think thats entirely too lame, cause it turns the sand siblings and their dynamic into temari and kankuro being gaaras generic yes men. a problem that does kinda intrinsically infect the original work mind, given that after the chunin exams the sand siblings disappear up until the sasuke retrieval missions ending at which point they're all suddenly buddy buddy with each other. but thats something that was a consequence of time and narrative flow, keeping the story focused and all. but fanfiction offers the opportunity to flesh these things out, and theres some real interesting ground in how the sand siblings transition from being completely fucking terrified [for fairly understandable and reasonable reasons] of gaara to being his pillars of support as kazekage following the [partial] failure of konoha crush. reducing it to rasa being the evil bad man who kept them separated when they actually wanted to be gaaras friends all along, is such a waste though.

anyways, feel free to crucify me now for being mean about the writing around the sand siblings.

[mtsainthelens]

my across the spiderverse thoughts!!!

i did a similar writeup for the first movie but i think i deleted the post. no worries, i think a lot of it is irrelevant now anyway.

anyway.

-movie was incredible. animation was 10/10, most impressive i’ve ever seen maybe? the intro scene with gwen and miguel and the ending sequence where miles is swinging home were my favorites. writing was like 9.5/10, it always nails the comedy in such a natural and unpretentious way which is so perfect for a spiderman movie

-you can really feel the love and passion put into this movie. its a real shame to hear about the crunch conditions the team was put under but its remarkable that the movie doesn’t feel particular anxious or resentful in the way other crunch projects tend to be. really such a loving attention to detail in spite of the shit management. actually kind of ironic.

-also the energy of this feels so incredibly different from the vibe of the firet i supposed there really has been a culture shift! everything these days is about determinism and multiverses is that any indication of where we’re heading?

-miguels little jingle is fantastic. i’m gonna remember that sound forever

-i thought trans gwen was a theory but to me it seemed explicitly canon. unfortunately i felt mostly confused whenever i saw the trans colors appear explicitly in a scene because i didn’t understand the double meaning? i only understood a lot of her scenes in a literal sense

-those action sequences, goddamn. you know i never watched korra but i watch the best fight compilations on youtube. i love animated fights.

-i didnt know you could curse in sony movies i was gasping everytime….

-meta-commentary 1: the “what was their canon event” meme makes no sense because in the movie it says everyone has the same canon event!!! like it varies depending on the context but its all fundamentally the same its like not funny to me to think about cat gwen stacy dying or smth. not funny to me

-i love how this movie doesn’t make unlikable characters. i can’t think of a single character i dislike in either of the movies? if i was the kind of person who used the term “comfort movie”, well…..

-meta-commentary 2: i did notice the “spider-team” of miles, gwen, pavitr, and hobie was only on scene for like. that one sequence. i’m sure they’ll come back but what i saw of the fandom reaction to it made me go in expecting a lot more from that. this happened to me with the last movie as well i feel very detatched from the wider fandom reaction to it? nothing against it but to me the movies dont feel like either A.) hanging around a universe or B.) making a story that needs to be dissected through long ass essays. which is what i’m always looking to get out of a fandom experience and i think are my perquisites for being interested in a fandom experience at all. obviously im still a huge FAN of the movies but i can never really take them outside of what they are if that makes sense. they start and end at the credits for me.

-having said that i loved spiderpunk!!! i know he was like total…. fanbait if that makes sense? i usually feel averse to characters im supposed to like or who feel engineered to be liked or who are known for getting fang1rls but god he was such a sweetheart. that diy watch. he reminds me of a friend i guess thats why im attatched. i like how nice he was to miles im just incredibly endeared to him.

-and having said that. my thirst rating is that i didnt think hobie or migel or the spot or anyone else were hot. something about the way faces are rendered is very interesting but i cant find it attractive at all. btw im someone who can be attracted to fictional characters easily and i wish jeff the killer was my boyfriend. anyway….

-my only criticisms would be that some of the emotional moments felt not exactly flat but noticeably offbeat at times and that the final 15-20 minutes kind of wore me thin. forgivable.

soooo great. i think im going to rewatch the first one soon but it might make me feel really raw. i think theyre both fairly sentimental movies but the first one makes me feel just a bit sorer because it feels so sunny. hard to explain. i really wish Peter B was in this movie more but i get why he wasnt.

anyway back to work

[freakattack]

So i dont talk about this often here ebcause i fear that it is hashtag cringe to take this media more seriously than it demands but i do sometimes think about what orbulons home planet might be like. I know it's irrelevant within the context of the stories hes already involved in and also will probably never come up in my own but as a freak who likes thinking about alien planets i think its fun to speculate. So anyways. What we know about orbulon is

He has an iq of 300 (allegedly) but his intelligence is in actuality either average or below average for the rest of his species. (I like to think it's below average because he's so insecure about it and it's funny. It is OK orbulon you are smart to me.)

He can shapeshift and also has no bones and can twist himself into horrible shapes. So far we are seeing a vague cephalopod parallel but i believe that ends here.

Along with shapeshifting, Orbulon can teleport, telepathy, and even telephone.

He sleeps A LOT and mentally cannot function on the comparatively small amount of sleep that humans require. This could be related to either the big brain thing and/or the fact that

Time on his planet "moves half the speed it does on earth", whether this means that the planet rotates and/or revolves twice as slowly or if time itself does some wibbly wobbly shit is unclear but given the title "time warp" and the fact that warioware is a goofy over the top series it might be the wibbly wobbly. Speaking of wibbly wobbly time

People on orbulon's planet have already developed advanced time travelling technology to the point where the average person can just have it in their car. In the online mega microgames diaries orbulon takes his oinker to dr crygor to get it fixed and dr crygor stumbles upon the time travel stuff by accident. This makes sense if everyone on orbulon's planet is smart enough to break an IQ test.

Also time-related, orbulon's species has a super long lifespan. Orbulon is about 2023 as of 2023, although he attaches his age to his "carbon matter" specifically which is clearly just because he is a pretentious ass and needs to use the most obtuse vocabulary for everything BUT i enjoy reading into things so i am going to say it is not only that deep. Which brings us to:

Things I Made Up About Orbulon

I think that his species has a weird immortal jellyfishlike life cycle where they constantly revert back to an earlier stage and renew themselves to increase their lifespan. I said this before as a joke but it actually wasnt a joke sorry. The orbulon we know is not Exactly the same orbulon that was born 2000+ years ago and sadly is also not Exactly the same orbulon that is OP in get it together. But they are all orbulon. Its complicated

I think that the sleep thing and the telepathy thing are related. The antenna is a sensory organ that is able to detect and project vaguely-defined Psychic Energies. I also think that this could be how he summoned the alien bunnies to haul ass and save him from the asteroid in the first game

I mean he also could have also morse coded them but IM NOT RULING IT OUT. Anyways

3. This isnt related to the sleep brain thing at all but while we're looking at his face i just want to throw in fhat i think a reason he wears sunglasses is to block out sun/star light. I dont think this is an uncommon game theory but im just letting you all know that i subscribe. I think that his planet is pitch dark and also that with his sunglasses he can deftly avoid eye contact not for any alien reasons but because. Well look at all these paragraphs i wrote why do you think

ANYWAYS!!!!

The sleep thing and telepathy thing are related in my brain and I think that his species can communicate with each other in the Dream Realm. (Not an actual realm im just calling it that.) i also toyed with the idea of their dreams also being a way to gradually restore past memories after metamorphosis but i think thats too complicated for this. It would be a cool idea for alien species in general but i dont want to make my silly wario comics have that much drama

Going off the dream realm thing though, I think that because they are psychic supergeniuses that communicate in dreams, the line between "individual" and "group" is very blurry compared to most human societies. Through dreams things like technology and ideas can be collaborated on infinitely by an infinite amount of minds, and in such a liminal state the sense of self tends to take a backseat to the pursuit of progress. This isn't to say they don't view themselves as individuals at all (or else orbulon wouldn't be like that) but moreso that they are highly communal and have different priorities and ways of conceptualizing themselves. Think ants.

Now, orbulon has CONFIRMED at least 16 friends on his home planet, which is frankly an obscene amount of friends to be able to have in your 2020's. Personally I think it's hard to cobble together a vibrant social life after your 1300's but what do i know. But anyways, i think that even extremely close-knit "friend groups" in orbulon's planet tend to average in the double digits and even dip into the triple digits just because of the way their minds and culture work. Dunbar's number ceases to be an issue when you are a psychic genius that can mind meld with everyone on the planet.

i think orbulon genuinely likes the people he grew up with, and that they like him, but even though he had those friends I personally think he was probably a bit of a misfit even on his home planet. The fact that he is SO insecure even among earthlings and the fact that he left and didn't return to his home planet for at least a thousand years tips me in that direction. Earth would have been a huge culture shock for him even if he knew about it ahead of time, but I think that finding a group of fellow weirdos that he can be himself around was more than worth the adjustment.

[hyuckmov]

HIII JING DROPPING BY HERE TO SAY HI MY GOD THERE WAS SO MANY THINGS THAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK ><

I attended tds2 in my country in my gosh post concert depression is really hitting me hard rn 😭 BUT OVERALL IT WAS QUITE FUN I SAW MARK AND HAECHAN LIKE TWICE NOW THE FIRST ONE ONE BEING IN 127 THE LINK FKEKNDBDHDKDKDK

i keep laughing at my fancams tho because of my ridiculous screams that sound like i'm fighting someone or generally barking HAHHHAHAHAHA

I AM HAECHAN BIASED BUT OH MY GOD JAEMIN IS JUST SO GORGEOUS AND REALLY KNOWS HOW TO INTERACT WITH THE CROWD >< (tied very much still to haechan tho no one can escape him)

ANYWAY HOW ARE YOUUUU MY FAVE FIC WRITER?? 🥺 tell me how your week went!

i see that u went out drinking AND I HOPE U HAD FUN!! ALSO OH MY GOSH UR WORKING ON TWO (?) NEW STORIES AND I CAN'T HELP BUT GET EXCITED EVER SINCE HIMBO HAECHAN WAS RELEASED 😩😩

I HOPE U ARE WELL AND PLEASE TAKE CARE OF URSELF OKAAYYYY TAKE UR TIME WITH UR WIPS I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ANYTHING FROM YOU!! 💕

- 💛

HIII SLAYYY to ur eventful week!!! omg pcd is the worst. i had a photo of jaehyun from the 127 concert that i used as my wallpaper and i would literally just stare at it and my friends would be like... ENOUGH. but also you are so luckyyy to have this experience like MAHAE TWICE??? IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUUU i hope it was the best best time evevrrr and you got to make a lot of memories :)

im so stressed whenever i take videos for concerts bc i'm scared my voice will be picked up. when i went for the dpr live concert, it picked up the voice of this girl next to me and GIRL. i was so upset... bc it was so distracting. i'm literally trying to go for a concert twice so i can scream in one of them and just record videos in the other one 😭😭😭 but also im considering selling that ticket and buying one for another artist hehe

JAEMINNNN (growling rn) my feelings for him have been out of control recently. i know idols are just curated images, but damn...his is curated so fucking well... ,istening to ariana grande and niki in his room...grocery shopping in LA... his smile and hsi ARMS and his arms and his arms......wna fall into his chest i am so insane he is sooo it's all so intentional. THE WAY him and hyuck look at each other sometime during concerts???? if i were haech i would be backstage asking him WHAT ARE WE!!!!!

HOW MY WEEK WENTTT i finished up my internship!!! it actually went pretty well bc i rounded it up with a presentation on a research project i did and i tried really hard w it and i was validated w my efforts!!! i got to see my friends a little and irrelevant and tmi but i think im so lonely im going insane bc im kind of having feelings for my best friend but it might be because i dont see him a lot so i'm. trying to quit bc its so embarrassing... next week i have a bunch of interviews so WISH ME LUCKKK 😭😭😭😭

also this is so lame of me but when i drink im mostly NOT drinking outside im drinking... at home? or at a friend's place? LET ME EXPLAIN see it's because 1-2 drink jing is DIZZY. that's my first reaction to being drunk and it's so LAME and terrible in public spaces because i do the ditzy stumbling around and typing terribly on my phone (fun fact i got drunk at a school function once bc soju looks like water and we smuggled it in) and i literally almsot FELL down the stairs in front of my teachers it was. not good. anyway yeah thats why i dont really drink in clubs and bars (ALSO because it's so expensive there 😭) 😞😞😞😞😞  but i'm having a lot of fun i usually have plain soju but today i had whiskey!!!

i AM working hard on my stories and im exicted to share them with you when i'm done!! thank you for always being supportive of me and my efforts <3 i appreciate and luv u so os sososo much

[keefwho]

January 05 - 2023

8:35 AM

Right now I’m trying to focus on being myself more and recapturing my imagination. A lot of problems come from me forgetting that I’m my own person with my own interests. And I’ve been having a lot of fun really “playing” again. It’s been simple, I’ve been using video games to start doing it because they are literally games. For some reason I got into the mindset that video games carry some level of responsibility. Like I should play them correctly or finish them or something. I forgot the core concept behind a “game” is to PLAY. It’s just an exercise in fun and learning about myself. There should be no stress involved whatsoever. I’m also starting to understand how other fields could use a little more of a carefree attitude like that. 

As for projecting myself more, I often feel like doing something but I stop myself for a variety of reasons. I’m beginning to ignore them and prioritize how I feel. Kind of like “If I listen to my heart then I can’t go wrong.” If I feel like doing something, I try to do it. If I want to say something I’m afraid might be cringe or irrelevant, I say it. It’s a little scary because I’m afraid some people might be turned away but thats just how it is. I can’t get along with everyone and it’s kind of toxic to myself to try. I don’t want to sacrifice my individuality for others. 

[cat-vase]

David is aromantic 

My evidence: how fucking uncomfortable he was during the ENTIRE lake lilac social episode and how he TOTALLY rubbed it in Gwen’s face at the end that not everything is about relationships 

[godstiel-coded]

Baby!Jack truthing

Disclaimer; my Jack knowledge is through Osmosis and Canon is irrelevant. Feel free to add on and don't be shy abt commenting rather than tagging <3

~He sucks at pronunciation of names and other relatively simple things but he picks up on large words he shouldn't know Too fast and says creepy things sometimes

~He calls Dean "Dee" or "Deedee" when he learns to write it takes Years to stop writing "Deen"

~he regularly says vaguely horrifying things and Cas takes it in stride So well and the PTA moms Don't

~okay this is projection but if someone says "Your mom is here" while he's in elementary he gets Terrified but its usually Eileen, or Jo, or Charlie, or Jody, or Ellen, or any other woman he knows and he gets used to it eventually. "your dad is here?" Always gets "which one?" Which results in Teachers having to give a small lesson on how a kid can have 2 dads/2 moms for the kids w no clue

~Cas being able to hear his "prayers" saves their ass in a million little ways

~Jack only sort of knows what Mom vs Dad means and doesn't really know theres a gendered connotation to it and tends to just Guess

~He calls his friends parents "(Friend)'s Dad" defaultively, appearance irrelevant

~He loves bows and dresses sometimes, also bee related clothes and cowboy related clothes as he tends to associate each adult in his life with one Specific thing

~Cas makes Dean promise not to confine Jack to primitive human gender or sexuality based norms

~When Claire ("Care") comes to visit he is Ecstatic and she can't get rid of him

~He doesnt comprehend how he is tied to Jody or Donna so its "My Jody" and "My Donna" I think Ellen might be Nana and Charlie and Jo both Aunts but I'm not totally set on that

~Jack loves to sit on Deans foot or ride piggy back style or sit on his hip

~He sits on Cas' shoulder and in his lap a lot

~LOVES dress up

~Dean picks up humming Red Neck Woman (heard it karaoke at a bar once) because of the line about the baby on her hip

~Cas and Jack listen to the worst pop ever, he's a Katy Perry (thats her name right) fan

~Jack likes Sesame Street, Octonauts, and Paw Patrol

~as part of a prank war (Claire started this one) Sam teaches Jack everyword to "The Song That Doesn't End" and everyone is paying the price

I can and Will go on so Please encourage me

[theunconcernedembalmer]

what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol

hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?

whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.

firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships. 

the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.

i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.

unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.

so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.

n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.

so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.

.

now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.

did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.

quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)

n that is dangerous.

back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.

we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative. 

a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.

so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.

all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.

special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear. 

this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.

okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.

remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.

remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.

(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.

putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.

can u tell how much that does not appeal to me. 

never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.

n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.

i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

[thegeminisage]

well I’m obviously very fascinated by your writing process and I admire it a lot. So you should do the questions 1-4 which are obviously very process oriented. But I’m curious about 50 too 😜

MCCCC that’s so nice of you to say i’m gonna write “fascinated by your process” down in my book of favorite compliments waaah

OKAY HERE WE GO (edit: this got long NOBODY is obligated to read all of this)

1. Favorite place to write.

so i actually don’t get out much firstly because i am kind of a homebody and secondly because where i live there’s not really many places to go…we don’t have starbucks, we don’t have cafes or coffee shops in general, and the few we do have would be weird to just HANG OUT in unless i go to the local college campus and i’d never pass a student LOL so mostly what i do is just write at home. which is fine! my favorite place to write IS at home on my computer bc it’s where i can be most comfortable. i have written in different places (especially when i travel to visit buddies - i have written in a starbucks in dc, a parking garage in dc, the ferry that goes past the statue of liberty, a mall food court in sanfan…i have also written fanfiction on my phone while over at my grandparents place or on the computer in the high school library LOL) but when i’m in public 1. i can’t relax and so have a harder time getting into my zone 2. unless i have earbuds i cannot utilize MUSIC which is simply crucial to my Process™

2. Favorite part of writing.

this is a close tie between outlining and actually rough drafting. i do not and never will understand why all writer culture jokes are about writers not actually writing because i love to write?? writing is the best part of writing? when i really get going and knock out like 2k or 3k in a day that’s the best feeling in the world. i LIVE for that feeling. however i also REALLY enjoy outlining because it’s sort of like rough drafting without the extra work (i can just block things out w/o worrying about making them look pretty) and also the outlining process is where i run into and then solve most (not all, unfortunately…) of my plotholes. there is nothing in the world like trying to untangle a plot problem for hours or even days and then suddenly coming up with the PERFECT solution. that is a GOOD feeling.

3. Least favorite part of writing.

editing/rewriting can go straight to hell THANKS! i already wrote this once! i don’t want to do it again! i had to pause work on the current thing i am doing to go back and clean up a subplot that was finally coming to a head and it took me THREE WEEKS because thats how unenthusiastic i am about editing. i can never decide what needs cutting, it’s tedious to decide where to jump in and start rewriting new stuff, it’s too much work and to depressing to have to scrap a whole scene and start from scratch…i have a real problem killing my darlings (just ask @callowyn, who has been co-writing @cambionverse with me for nearly a DECADE - she knows the struggle). it makes editing hell

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

yes!! i have 3, a small one and 2 big ones. 

small one is: i like to turn pomodoro on and have some sort of snack/beverage/gum nearby. this is to minimize distractions, firstly because if pomodoro is on i have to use my phone to access the internet which is not my preferred method and secondly because if i get momentarily bored i can stimulate my brain with like a sip of coke or a cheez-it or something and that will satisfy the momentary urge to get up and walk away a lot faster than picking up my phone to scroll social media will. then i can go back to work and not lose my momentum!

big rituals are FIRSTLY is that i always always ALWAYS have to block out a scene before i start. i talked about this on this blog before so i won’t repeat myself but the gist of this is that i basically write the entire scene in the ugliest shorthand possible and then “edit” it just like that - delete/add lines of conversation, switch things around, remove off-topic threads, etc. it’s easier to see “zoomed out” like this, more malleable, and i’m not attached to any pretty sentences or turns of phrase. it’s also EXTREMELY fast because once i get to actually drafting it i know exactly what i’m doing, i’m basically just transcribing my notes! i have written almost 7k in a single day with this method. i can absolutely fly

adn finally the most important ritual of all is that i have to be listening to music. there are some albums/songs i can listen to to write anything (mostly soundtracks) and that’s “writing music” but more often than not i pair a specific song or handful of songs with a specific scene, something that matches the “feel” of what i’m working on. if i’m really getting into it i might even go and play some ambient noise (like rain sounds during a rainy scene). this is actually especially helpful at triggering hyperfixation to get from feeling kind of “bleh” about something to absolutely enthralled with it. (edit: for especially long stories i MAKE PLAYLISTS i can tell you exactly which of these songs corresponds to which scene in my current project and i will never be able to disassociate the scenes from the songs so long as i live)

50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.

it’s @cambionverse! haha no that’s cheating, that was cally’s idea

actually i think most of my story ideas are a little on the cliche/predictable/tropey side bc that’s what i enjoy consuming. but i DO get weirdly obsessed with like, the most unimportant background characters or very off-the-wall rarepairs and then devolve straight into OC territory. and then when i was younger i would actually write fanfiction of my own fanfiction - so my first fanfic ever was a novelization of ocarina of time, and then when i was finished with that i actually went back and wrote stories about link’s parents before they died. i had a name and a backstory for that little deku kid (the butler’s son) in majora’s mask. ganondorf and nabooru had a daughter who featured as a main character. it was wild. i becomes absolutely obsessed with minute details and the longer i spend in a fictional world the more i branch out into utterly irrelevant shit. that said i think the WEIRDEST idea i ever wound up writing to fruition was a teen wolf fic that feature my teen wolf rarepair (which i don’t talk about on this blog BC I TRY TO KEEP IT SFW HERE but like…it’s on ao3 LOL) and in the sequel to that fic i spent about half the screentime talking about the death of an OC in one pf the characters’ pasts. ask me before i started and i would have said that sounds like the most boring shit in the world but i wrote almost 100k in that verse in 3 fics and i think it��s one of the better stories i’ve ever worked on solo.

(send me a writing ask)

[unordinary-analysis]

Episode 134

This is late but tbh im always late so i mean aren’t i on time? (afternote: nevermind im posting this days after I finished writing lol)

Honorable mentions:

This was a filler episode but i loved it all the same ;)

I feel like there are 3 different panels of Sera’s face and they all are in a different(ish) art style idk

John acting indifferent after he knows cecile has him figured out is legend behavior

Just wait till the end of the year, @ john and cecile and everyone else. This is Arlo’s last year then he graduates and Blyke is new king or something. Like… just wait a bit…?

Didnt have anything to say about that last scene but i am SOOO EXCITED FOR WHATS ABOUT TO HAPPEN JOHN HAS BEEN SUMMONED ITS GO TIME

Evie and Seraphina

    I like this friendship a lot because of their dynamic (with character relationships, dynamic is everything. I say I love friendship's dynamics a lot and that’s why lol). Seraphina is casual and chill and Evie is awestruck and timid. Love. It. Their interactions are beautiful too. Sera: “it was an easy fight.” *shrugs*. Evie: “soO cooOOOOOL (+25 sparkle)”. Golden. But I don’t know where this friendship could go or what it might mean for Sera’s friendship with John. Will Sera and Evie’s friendship be separate from Sera’s friendship with John? Will John be mad that she was Arlo’s informant? Maybe they will all be best buds (:D). Or maybe John and Seraphina’s friendship has peaked and they’re gonna drift apart? Thats a lotta questions (and I can answer any of them lol). But I got ideas guys so be prepared for this structured essay (kinda[not really{not at all I gave up}]).

    I feel like Evie and Seraphina get along together well because of how their personalities compliment the other’s. Seraphina is just straight up impressing Evie and Evie is kind of like helping Sera cope with being a cripple??? I feel that her upbeat and adoring personality is giving Seraphina hope like yeah she’s not the ace anymore and she’s a cripple, but this adorable low-tier girl is just as adoring of her as low-tiers used to be and saying she’s so powerful and stuff. Like she was excited about how Sera beat up Hower without an ability. I like how that is easing Seraphina into the cripple life (well not easing because well the whole kidnapping thing happened kjhgnksjh). I hope you all understand. And Evie is really getting hope from Seraphina as well. Sera said, “This far down the ladder, abilities become irrelevant. Hower’s only weapon are his hands. Just avoid them and he’s a powerless as a cripple.” I don’t know, hope for everyone.

    As for the friendship’s impact on John and Sera’s, who knows, i mean anything is fair game. Honestly, it is most likely that Sera will keep both friendships, and keep them separate, but thats no fun so im going to talk about what I wanna. The thing is, right now, Sera and Evie’s relationship is kind of reminding me of Sera and John’s (at this moment), but roles reversed. Sera is the badass cripple and Evie is the one who is getting tips and encouragement. I don’t know, I feel like this could lead to a distance or drifting apart for John/Sera. Seraphina really only had one true friend before this, who liked her for who she was and not only because of what she was (a god-tier). That person was John. Arlo, Elaine, Blyke, Remi; they were only involved in her life because of her high status. If that was not the case, I doubt these people would ever hang out together. Like Elaine and Sera just chilling out one day? Yea doesn’t fit. But John, the cripple, just trying to do his best at his project and wanting to celebrate with her. Had nothing to do with her ability (okay maybe it was about her smarts but still). Now that Sera has Evie (someone who, like i said, has a great dynamic with her [yeah they only met because Sera’s a cripple now, but they just fit in a way none of the high-tiers ever did]), there’s a chance she will be hanging out with John less and less. John is always busy with being Tuesday, ordering Arlo around, and chatting with Cecile. They gonna drift apart maybe. Then John will finally snap because Seraphina was the only thing stopping him from going full-on New Bostin. Or you can just regard all of this because Sera and John’s relationship is probably stronger than ever and that hug scene guys… perfect.

    Yeah not the structured thing i wanted to make, but i’m to distracted to go back and redo it or fix the beginning. Also, that’s a lot of effort for a friendship that probably is irrelevant and won’t last lwkhsdksfjs.

Moving on

Cecile and John

    Still excited about this even though it’s been weeeeeks. John. and. Cecile. Loving the pair up uru-chan. Loving it. The dynamic. The reluctant alliance. The ambition. Its beautiful.

    But yeah, this episode, Cecile speaks (a bit) of her mind and John argues back. Fantastic. Mostly details and stuff we already knew but like wow i love this. I was gonna rant, but I don’t know how to say anything other than that it is perfect oilkshkvjhsjdgh

    What can i say

    Except he kinda threatened Cecile and like pls John I would die for a genuine pair-up with you two, please be compliant, thanks.

I’m not posting this on my Unordinary Amino account because of how short and late it is (go join the Unordinary amino its pretty good if you haven't heard of it)

[queencryo]

well that was... something of a dream. im skipping a bunch of the parts thatcare irrelevant to the big parts. so!

i went bacj home from school to pick up smth and xheck on the atmospherixs machinery. the house feels... dark. dark and dreary, and that weird feeling ir always had in the kiddle od the day with no lights on (god the ligbt incthat house was always beautiful...)

my dad is there. he is looking... sullen. in a mood, as he sometimes did, and this also made him... weird and frigbtening. so. i quicksave. my mom is sleeping deeply in rhe parenr bedroom, as she was so wont to do in the middle of the day. ah... i grab my knife, as it makes me feel a little bit more safe and capable. i know, around then, that dad has just stabbed my mom to death in her sleep. this permanently deforms the bed such that the right side is curved up to be at fully pointing uo (weird dr3am physics).

i sneak around the hous3. maybe he doesnt know imchere. i try ans fail to message one kf my friends to please pl3ase please call 911 (no internet, battery died, Weird Dream Reasons.. etc).

so. my dad is outside of the bedroom. i have locked the door. "whyve ya locked the door, bud?" oh god oh god "just lookin for somethin, haha! gotta head back to school p quick" neiyher of us believes the other. he pulls on the door and i can hear it about to give way. i flip open my knide. it does nktbing to protect me as he kills me.

i quickload. we do it all again. this happens... a few tkmes, trying different means of defending mys3lf, different means of trying to get the police called, different means of trying to calm him down so he doesnt kill me... etc.

on the final one. iirc what saved my life was "hey dad wanna help me, uh. with this projext that invomved machinery and stuff?" (mirroring how when i was a kid i always tried to be inte4ested in whatever Handy projects he was doing, bc it was one od the only ways i could get him to look at me with what didnt feel like disgust/disappointment. i felt like i was better than my sibling (who didnt show up in the dream at all btw. i assume they were at school) becaause i did these things with him. he didnt really like either of us, i think.) so. we both went upstairs. futzed with some valves. some machinery stuff. it was.... awkward and unpl3asant and the atmosphere (ha!) was wretched and heavy, with the looming fear that he would snap and get angry again (just like 45% of my childhood *guitar riff*).

so... we skip forward, about a year or two. i dont know how, like. these things worked out sich that he didnt go to prison. my sibling still isnt in the house, maybe they fled. i was still there. the house has become warped, twisted, in that way dreams can do but reality cant. like a bugged video game level, in some places. like someone had taken the model of my home and just... played with it, i guess.

anyway. dad is in a sullen and violent mood again. but this time im not afraid for me (mostly. he might still get mad and kill me too probably). he has a shovel. i know that he is going to kill himself (like i was always afraid he would). im in the front yard, futzing around. "hey. im working on smth out back." "do ya want me to help?" "no" (we had that exchange a lot. i asked if he wanted me to jelp a lot and he said no a lot. later i realized that maybe hed say yes more if i said "can i help" insread, but... i was a kid. can i be blamed for not knowing how to comm7nicate wifu my emotionally damaged/ing father? he was a fuckin asshole and heartily believed "buh wuh well i cant *want* help but also youre a lazy piece of shit for not helping me more" god he whined (by which i mean muttered angrily in a way that scared me) sooooooo muuuuuuch about how he did everything ny himeself in thus house). "just.... stay in the front yard, kay son?" (gender in dreams is weird. it didnt hurt tho.)

he goes to the back yard. i can hear him digging. he's going to bury himself alive (idk id thats possible, but whatevwr. its a dream.)

i decide that i... sont really want to be there, at the moment.

i sneak back inaide. i grab: my backpack. a stuffed animal (it wasnt a specific one i think).

i start walking to the high school. meanwhile, my dad... keeps digging. he digs for hours. he gets a little drunk. i keep walking (but for me its not in a weird "yosh ur walking so long isnt thay spoooooky?" way irs j7st. thays what im doijng. my dad digging was in a that kind of way tho.

i realize that hes goinf to die. and i feel worried about living alone as a teenager in an emptu home. but i feel nothing but relief for his death (accurate)

[dramazones]

Oh Wow! Im finally here with a headcanon birth chart and analysis for jamie!

i'm on mobile so I cant even put this long ass post under a read more i am so fucking sowwy but anyways a lot of this was inspired from dewmie-in 's meta posts and also i rlly love astrology so pls follow them first of all or else ur a fake fan shhfhgjsjkfkd

☀️ ♓︎ Pisces Sun ♓︎ ☀️

There is no doubt that Jamie is a pisces sun. Some of the well known characteristics of a piscean are being the artistic ones, the ones more in touch with their emotions and the absolute dreamers of the zodiac, I can assure you this as a mercury and moon piscean!

And it’s quite obvious that these traits 100% match up to jamie’s surface character being a big theater nerd, writer, poet, and as an actor, he HAS to understand emotion in all its forms! While being the more compassionate of signs, that also comes with sympathy, and maybe even empathy.

to which he expresses when he tells steven that a good story with a quality protagonist HAS to include said protagonists struggles as well, now this might be a reach but perhaps this was self projecting after his own struggles in kansas, maybe even foreshadowing ooOoOh

(“a real hero must struggle” jamie struggles living in kansas, moves back to beach city, nails his first production and gains management position @ the theater, aka his heroic ending i guess idk, then more theater related accomplishments as mentioned in letters to lars ofc)

☽♎︎ Libra Moon ♎︎☽

One of the biggest desires for any libra placement is balance, And the moon sign being the emotion sign, Libra moons desire an emotional balance as much as they do in their environment. Libra Moons can also be known as a “people person” while typically depending on the study of others to lean their own nature.

Jamie fits the Libra moon description being a sort of people person himself. Though he’s capable of keeping a friendly conversation with just about anyone, There’s also no doubt that this guy has severe anxiety that affects his communication with others along with his emotional stability (even affecting him physically). The thing is that he’s managed to keep the anxiety and his social skills much more balanced the more we see him or i guess as time passes, not one of them overpowering the other. (see venus in scorpio as to why he limits himself socially as much as he would his anxiety)

While he desires emotional balance that also comes with a feeling of frustration and defeat when things are even slightly out of balance (also a symptom of anxiety ; easily irritated/defeated) such as his improv performance in letters to lars, ending his performance within a minute after feeling overwhelmed as it started going south.

So while there are several moments of him maintaining an emotional balance he also has another side of the scale that’s less balanced (astrology word play lmao) such as a general lifestyle balance, also nonexistent for jamie (even though your lifestyle heavily affects your behavior) in a sense that he lacks of a healthy sleep schedule being a mailman AND an actor, one occurring from the early morning to the afternoon and the other job occurring at night. Probably irrelevent but its MY sleepover and Ill add as much necessary info in this birth chart reading as i please.

Im also including buddys book as an example because though it was only jamie being the faceclaim for buddy theres no denying that since historical friction theres at least some parallels between the two characters sharing the same traits (being writers, returning to beach city to prosper in their careers, being absolute drama kings)

♀️♏︎ Scorpio Venus ♏︎♀️

One of the biggest aspects to Jamie’s character INCLUDES being an absolute sucker for romance so lets get this bread and talk abt his relationships w/ everyone and his views on love uwu

Scorpio being a water sign means healing is one of the largest aspects to the sign. Healing nonetheless comes with a relation to trauma being from the planet representing death itself. Life and Death go hand in hand to define each other, ya feel me.

while were on the topic of death lets bring back the parallelism between jamie and buddy thats been around since historical friction. in the play buddy is presumed dead up until william reaches beach city. ok. so hear me out. perhaps that was foreshadowing for jamie’s traumatic near death encounter with topaz and aqua. remember how I said the water element represents healing as well as trauma??? It all kinda ties in yall...

ANYWAYS It’s safe to say that Jamie is a person that’s been through his rock bottom AND trauma already (his death if you will), struggling to live a happy, or even regular (lets face it as far as we know the only thing he came back to beach city with was sunglasses, bitch was broke) life in kansas, the abduction, its not something you can heal from overnight. While he does show symptoms of severe anxiety (to say the very least) even after the abduction he’s also grown closer to working on healing, moving on from his overwhelming fear of rejection by prospering in theater (him coming back to life if u will), and as for anything directly related to the abduction is unknown, but its very likely he’s working on moving on from that on his own as far as we know!!

which brings up the next trait of a scorpion venusian! They prefer to be a mystery in order to protect themselves as a result of fear of getting hurt for trusting/opening up too much. The first time we see jamie since the abduction is during the re-election in dewey wins, where he doesn’t seem affected at all. Yes, Jamie is a pretty open book for the most part (see dewmie-in’s analogy to in/out of the closet in historical friction) however theres also moments where he limits himself, or perhaps another side to himself, a far more passionate side…

Holding back tears during his drama zone and waiting until hes alone to be excited abt delivering his letter in love letters, playing it cool when earning theater director position in historical friction, not to mention his room SHOULD play a very huge role in his secretive side. (see brodingle’s post on jamie’s room, his casual side vs his passionate side)

the venus in scorpio (or any scorpio placement rlly) also remains a secret not truly by choice, but theyre also studying others of interest. being an actor, Jamie should know a thing or two on body language and raw emotion as he sees it.

And finally, The venus is scorpio is a devoted, passionate, and emotionally attached lover. in love letters he falls for someone easily, and even if he learned in the end love at first sight isnt real he is most definitely the type to fall easily based on emotional connection alone! Also, his fear of rejection can easily play into his love life as well. Being in kansas getting constantly rejected and returning back home out of not just defeat but most likely homesickness as well. He missed his stable job. he wants stability, loyalty, commitment! yeah ok thts all i got for now ladies!

♂️♍︎ Virgo Mars ♍︎♂️

Mars being the planet of impulsiveness, energy, initiation and “doing it” being born under the sign of doing it efficiently and orderly gives a handful of traits that completely match up to Jamie and the way he puts out his energy into the world

Jamie has been the type to not just instantly put his energy into something new, but he’s also put his energy into mastering said thing! While Mars is the planet of impusiveness, Virgo is the sign of patience, the Virgo mars is a firm believer of practice makes perfect, and striving for overall perfect, which does in fact get overwhelming for Jamie the perfectionist.

In historical friction, though hesitant, he was not afraid to critique and analyze dewey’s writing skills. And although he was anxious again to go against deweys script and use pearls version instead, he went with pearls because he desperately needed to execute his first play flawlessly. this also occurs again in letters to lars, when his improv performance doesnt go as planned he doesnt just end it from there, in fact, he still has that sense of patience to critique his cast members on stage before getting completely irritated when they dont comply. imo its important to note this duality of patience and impulsiveness because this is an anxiety inducing combination that heavily matches up to Jamies energy.

it’s also important to bring Jamie’s room back in this, because while it was creepy as shit its also FILLED with books, and has really fancy stationery meaning he is in fact a writer. The Mars in Virgo is an attentive to detail oriented person, and being a writer, Jamie not only reads others’ works, he records his own with plenty of detail as seen in his love letter to garnet. Its in his nature by now to have an eye for detail as seen in his room, his costumes, his writing, etc.

Its very likely that his venus and his mars sign do sort of relate in a sense of the way he will present himself. The virgo mars wants a deep connection as the next person but refuses to express that “passionate side” as much as others, preferring to remain casual or present a “cool exterior” which plays into the venus in scorpio’s preference for a secretive side or to remain a mystery.

lets also not forget Jamie’s mime performance in Sadie’s Song. His body language easily read as excited and desperate for perfectionism. Theres no denying he spent time and energy into his act, probably studying mimes and all lol

plus the virgo mars being an attentive to detail type of person, scorpio venus’ silent study on their person of interest and libra moon’s dependance on the study of others to learn how to express emotion when and where and how all tie into each other. Jamie depends on detail before well, doing! he is the type to not just think before acting but hes also gotten quite anxious overthinking as well!

The Taurus Ascendant is a sucker for stability, loyalty, especially to their passions with change being their biggest weakness, very fitting to Jamie. Stability is what made Jamie return to beach city from Kansas because he was not used to such a drastic change in an unstable life, doing the absolute opposite of prospering in his acting career, another big desire for a taurus rising btw, they thrive for success!

They also need a sense of security and any chance at risking that security is a big no-no for the Taurus Ascendant. Jamie’s constant fear of rejection, his anxiety before a production that could make or break his career, he desires a sense of reassurance and security that will assure him that things will not turn out as horribly as his anxiety’s (cough drama zone cough) made it out to be.

⬆️♉︎ Taurus Rising ♉︎⬆️

now, in Reunited, hes completely moved on from garnet at this point. This takes places after the abduction, the only thing that would really be on his mind rn is healing and finding peace again with himself and in his surroundings. while hes handled this healing process alone (as far as we know) hes also learned about what he wants for himself including his love life. seeing garnet extremely happy and married and all makes him defeated for a moment not because “uUuuUUhH shes the one that got away!” its because he truly desires a passionate and devoted relationship as ruby and sapphires! which brings up the next topic!

In relationships, the Taurus Ascendant won't easily break up with someone they gave their heart to. Jamie wants a partner thats going to be as devoted and passionate as himself. He needs that sense of commitment and loyalty from someone and probably wouldn’t handle something as emotionless as one night stands for example! Any taurus placement has the same desires for romance as scorpio placements to be quite honest here, im just sayin as a venus in taurus and scorpio rising lmao.

🌊 Water Dominant 🌊

Ok so the thing is heres the thing. Out of all four astrological elements, Jamie exudes water energy the most, then earth, then fire, and lastly air. He’s not just an emotional person, he’s also an optimistic person, even when he overthinks things, he continuously looks into the future rather than his past so I think its important to note he also has that “psychic” aspect to him as well as having a strong sense of someone else’s emotions as much as his own.

let me also add in dewmie-in’s post where they point out tht jamie does in fact have a literal reocurring theme with water so even if he turns out to like not be a water sun sign in canon (highly doubt there will ever be a canon bday for him lmao the entire point of this post tho) theres no way hes gonna not be associated with water coincidentally. so if u didnt read their post tldr: being a fucking buffoon in the literal rain, throwing letters into the ocean, staring at the ocean on his free time, (aka during working ours, worlds okayest mailman) cries easily, buddy dying in water, jamie nearly being killed as instructed by a gem named aqua, jamie surviving in water after being THROWN off the ship. (i added a few more btw hshfhhdjd)

so yeah thats that on that, theres plenty more planet placements than that in a birth chart but i just felt like doing the usual ones i guess :P

[fromthedeskoftheminister]

Kaminoans are awful scientists and have horrible business sense, pass it on

Alternatively - It is possible for phenotypically and genetically female clones to have existed because Jango Fett was human and human DNA is weird enough already, the existence of the Force notwithstanding.

This is a rant about how the Kaminoans are horrible scientists, have really bad business sense, horrible ethics in general and a series of head canons about mutations in the clones.

I would like to preface this by saying that everything I know of the Kaminoans comes from both wookieepedia pages, and the rest of this is based on what I know of real world genetics, how science is actually done (trust me I’m a scientist), and a vague understanding of the Force

Known things about the Kaminoans

They’re cloners but before that they’re scientists

They have a caste system

They’re amoral scientists

They're xenophobic to the point of racism

They apparently have no issue with slavery as they clone slaves for spice mines occasionally

They're perfectionists

Before Jedi inspection (or whatever the hell you want to call Obi Wan rediscovering the facility) they culled most of the clones that did not meet standards (whatever the hell those were)

They had a fully mapped genome from Jango Fett, which means that no mutations should have occurred

They somehow managed to fix the issue of telomeres 

What This means

Ok, so I don’t actually know how much the internet knows about science but I'm going to assume nothing as I explain things.

So, as the cloning tubes were initially set up for a lot of different species’ requirements. Per the Republic order for the GAR those all had to be converted, reconfigured and cleaned from their initial species’ designation to human. The quickest way to get something of that size to happen is to get a lot of help, which in the Kaminoans case meant that it was probably reassigned to one of the lower castes. The Kaminoans also needed to have much larger quantities of whatever their substitute for amniotic fluid was. This was also something that was probably delegated to a different caste because mass producing amniotic fluid was probably not high on a scientists to do list.

Good science means that you have trials and replication. This is to ensure that any weird instances in the data are truly random occurrences and not part of a larger pattern.  Yes, you can technically argue that every clone was a replication and that every batch produced was a different trial, but that is not actually the case. The replicant thing sure, but for trials to be counted as separate trials, something in it or about it needs to be changed. The Kaminoans didn't do this. After experimenting with the Nulls and the Alpha ARC commandos they went straight into producing the rest of the CT series. Hell, they didn't even try for more than 2 trials when they were experimenting with what would make the perfect combination of genetics to create their super soldiers. That is not a good idea when faffing about with DNA, as human DNA likes to mutate. It does this randomly, and that’s normal, as most mutations are either corrected naturally or simply don’t change anything and thus are not problems.

Good science also has clear communication. The Kaminoans did not quite have that. There are two instances of this. The first is in their directive. The Kamonians had a simple directive of “Make an army of one man”. No one knows how this was determined. Was it just based on genetics? Or did the genetics not quite matter provided they all looked the same? Just because something is phenotypically (looks) the same does not mean that its genetically the same. Look into the insect (butterflies have great examples) and animal kingdoms (Dolly Varden and Bull trout are completely identical unless you look at DNA) for examples of this. Look at twins if you need an example in humanity. Twins can look exactly the same and be very different people. Twins can also look vastly different and effectively be the same person to the point of creepiness. The second instance of poor communication comes from the clones’ designations. When doing science, labels are important. They tend to designate several things from the trial number, the trial type, the actual sample number and occasionally the date depending on the experiment. For the clones this means that their designation should reflect the type of clone, their batch number and then their number within their batch. While this is done to some extent, as seen as the differences in the numbers of the ARCs, the CC clones and the CT clones it is not consistent and does not actually tell us anything about the clones nor the order they were decanted.

Good science also means that you don’t discard data. Outliers are noted and included in the final presentation of the data. They are included in a results section. More often than not the anomalies are not discussed unless the scientists potentially have an explanation for said anomaly. But my point is that they are still there and not swept under the rug. Instead they are studied. More often than not, an anomaly in the data is the lead for someone else’s project. In other words if you're basing your standards off of a genetic match, then anomalies would have been allowed to grow to completion as they were interesting but irrelevant. It also might have allowed the Kaminoans to identify any potential harmful mutations that could possibly appear in normal clones. Instead the Kaminoans chose to cull (kill) them because they didn't fit their standards.

The Kaminoans also have horrible horrible business sense. Do you know how much money it takes to clone a person? Its a lot of money. Right now, IRL it takes about $20,000 USD to clone a cow. In June of 2001 Forbes estimated that it would cost about $1.7 million USD to clone a person. Adjusting for inflation that would be over $2.3 million USD today. I know that we’re dealing with a fictional universe here but can you tell me that you think cloning would have gotten any less expensive over time? If thats how an entire species supports itself the answer is probably not. And so what do they do with defective clones? Canonically the Kaminoans kill them. Which makes no sense given how much money it theoretically takes to produce a clone. Even if the Kaminoans are only being payed for every “perfect” clone they produce, having a “defective” clone is still a waste of resources on their part. They could have simply trained the clones in administrative or maintenance work as they did once the Jedi “found” Kamino again. Hell, slavery is already a problem in the Star Wars verse, and the Kaminoans already cloned slaves, so for them selling defective clones would be a reasonable way to recoup some of their financial losses. 

What does this have to do with mutations in the clones and the ideas of genetically and phenotypically female clones? 

Everything. It was a well known fact among the cloners of the galaxy that cloning Force Sensitive beings was a bad idea. This was due to the fact that those particular type of clones ended up being highly unstable. Kaminoan society also disliked the idea of Force Sensitives. Their distaste was so severe that the one historically recorded member who was Force Sensitive was made outcast once she started displaying her Sensitivity despite her high caste birth. The Kaminoans also regularly killed off green eyed offspring due to the fear that they posed a threat to their well ordered society which suggests that green eyed Kaminoans may have been naturally Force Sensitive. This also means that they had no real idea of how the Force would have effected the cloning processes. The Jedi confirm that all of the clones were individuals within the Force. The Force also has a habit of messing with physical/genetic things (see Anakin’s entire existence), so it stands to reason that the Force caused some measure of mutation in the clones. 

Theres also the problem of human DNA being weird. As I mentioned earlier human DNA likes to mutate and mutate a lot. Most of the mutations are benign and are corrected by ones own DNA. Others simply don’t change anything and thus do not show up in physical characteristics at all. Which means a clone may not look like a mutant if the Kaminoans are just judging based on appearance, but is definitely a mutant based on genetics. Some physical traits in humans are controlled by multiple genes and we still dont quite know how to change them from one thing to another. This includes things like height, hair color, eye color, body type and numerous other traits. Depending on what standards the Kaminoans were attempting to meet, any of these benign mutations could have been enough to make the Kaminoans call them defective. 

Some other mutations are not quite so simple. There are random mutations at different stages that can cause mirrored organs or others that affect the sex chromosomes. Depending on when in development these mutations occur, you can occasionally end up with genetically male but phenotypically female clones through things like Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome or Swyer Syndrome, or even genetically and phenotypically female clones through Turner syndrome or identical twins where one has Turner syndrome (effectively creating different sex identical twins).

Initially, the mutations were probably attributed to screw ups due with the mechanical systems as most of the scientist kamonians would have considered that work beneath them and reassigned it to one of the other castes.  Alternatively this would have also been attributed to mistakes made in the amniotic fluid. As mentioned earlier mass producing amniotic fluid could have been easily handled by another caste. Just hand them a recipe and hope that they do not screw up. Either way, the Scientist Kaminoans would have declared themselves to not be at fault because their science is perfect. Which its really really not. Either way once the Kaminoans realized that the mutations were not actually random and that there might have been a pattern, occasional “defective” clones were probably allowed to survive provided that they managed to meet the Cuy’vul Dar’s military standards, and remained available for further study upon reaching “adulthood”.

In conclusion the Kaminoans practiced horrible science, had really bad business sense and there were probably phenotypically female clones, if not phenotypically and genetically female clones, running around with the trans female clones and the rest of the vode during the Clone Wars.

[the-over-analyst]

I am an INTJ. I dont know whether it is hard or soft but thats irrelevant. I have difficulty maintaining an interest in things, people, and sometimes elements of life. Do you have any advice into learning how to keep an interest in things. I actually dont know whether this is MBTI related at all but having read some of your posts and comments and stuff you seem to be intelligent and would value some input. Apologies if this comes across as rude.

First off, this totally doesn’t come of as rude. You’re good, don’t worry.

Second, Aww. That‘s a huge compliment. I’d like to think I’m intelligent but the longer I live the more I realize how stupid I actually am.

Third, I’m so sorry this took so long.

And here’s your answer finally.

I actually struggle a lot with this too. I very rarely complete projects, whenever I try to make new friends I lose interest, and I completely obsess over things I’ve learned but struggle accepting new things into the mix. I don’t know if it’s an INTJ thing or not either but I do have a few tips that might help.

When it’s a project make sure to give yourself lots of small goals up to the finish line. No. I didn’t say make your goals small. We need to strive for big things but we also need to stay motivated to accomplish them. Setting lots of little goals inside your main goal will help with that. A lot of the time INTJ’s stress about how much they have to do which makes us not do them. We’re do it once and do it right kind of people and if we feel like we don’t have the time we probably just won’t do it. Setting these benchmarks should help with that. If we feel like we can accomplish something in one sitting we’re much more likely to do it over all, and over time we’ll end up finishing our main large goal.

People. Okay. This is a hard one for me. I recently just moved so I actually don’t have anyone around me right now. I’ve frankly just been hiding out at home, the library, the coffee shop, and work avoiding all meetings. Why? Because I don’t want to commit to a relationship (friend ship or other) until I know I’m going to actually enjoy their company. Which is a bit of an awkward loop as I can’t really get to know them unless I interact. My point is… On this one I wouldn’t worry about it. Just because you interact with a person and they suddenly think you need to be friends doesn’t mean that you have to. When you find someone you want to be friends with you’ll the make the commitment. However… If you’re drifting away from a committed friendship where the friend is actually a decent person I would put effort into it. Finding decent friends is hard and that alone should be the motivation you need.

Elements of life is a bit more tricky to answer because the term is so vague.That being said…. Life is difficult and I can understand occasional “bleh, forget this” However, Life is also a pretty cool thing. Sometimes the best way to gain interest in it again is to take a break from it. If you’ve been going out or doing to many things life can get a real nasty look. Try taking a break, stay home for like… 2 weeks (aside from work) Read, binge watch your favourite TV show, watch old movies, write, draw, eat whatever, bake, scroll through Tumblr. Do things that you would do if you had all the time off in the world. Chances are when you come back online doing things out in the world will be a bit more shiny again.

Hope this helped. Have fun and stay safe.

-INTJ