#also i may start talking more just in text posts because i've gotten myself really wound up

[howlsnteeth]

btw i will single-handedly create as many cotl x sleep token connections as i can 🖤

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

The Gym Membership - Part 38 (Crosshair)

Summary: The night at the Battle Axe throwing wraps up

A/N: Hello Lovelies,

Hope everyone is doing well, so I've been working on The Reunion, and rereading Upside Down to get myself back into the mode of writing for that story again. With Upside Down before I start posting the new stories, I'm going to be revamping the story a little. Just making the chapters shorter, and editing things I missed. So I'll be doing that once I"m ready to go for the Upside Down. The Reunion is taking a little longer for me to get into. Not because I don't have a clear direction of where I want the story to go, but rather because I just trying to figure out how to get there.

Have a lovely week.

Love oo

Italics - flashback

Warnings: Snooping, flirting, PDA, anger, tension, accusations. I think that's it, if I miss any warnings, please let me know.

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Mel watched Howzer walk away to join his squad. Tonight was their team building exercise. Although he and Layla bantered and flirted a little neither offered to give the other their number. She wondered if maybe that was because Layla was interested in Crosshair or if it had to do with the glare from Cross. 

His reaction only confirmed what she had suspected for a while. 

“Crosshair, what are you doing?” Mel smirked as she saw him holding her phone and reading whatever message she received. She may have gotten upset about the privacy issue, if this had been a few years ago when she first met him, then maybe she would have yanked the phone out of his hand, but Crosshair being Crosshair, she shrugged it off. She was more concerned if it was Wrecker texting her. Actually, she really hoped it wasn’t from Wrecker, as lovely and sweet as the love of her life was, he was a constant mystery when it came to texting. Sometimes he’d send ‘love you’ texts or ‘miss you’ texts, texts asking how the kids were doing, or if she needed him to pick anything up on the way home, and other times, a lot of times it was downright filthy. 

Cross looked up at Mel from his spot on the couch, “Your phone was vibing.”

She simply nodded, as she moved closer putting the bowl of popcorn on top of the coffee table, “Well thanks, you could’ve just told me, though. Was it Wrecker?”

“No”

“Did I get anything interesting?”

“You got a message from Layla,” he mumbled.

“Oh, I see” Mel took the phone out of Cross’ hand, sitting on the couch beside him. She read it quickly, and responded, “She’s very sweet, isn’t she?”

“Pfft, please,” Cross mocked at her statement, ‘like that viper of a woman could ever be sweet’, he thought.

“Well you have to admit, she’s very pretty, and she’s very considerate. She got matching outfits for the girls, despite the age difference.”

“Sure … I guess. I mean if you like her type.”

Mel arched her eyebrow, biting back a smile, “Her type?”

“You know beautiful, smart, attractive …” Crosshair waved his hand in irritation.

“Well, I find her very easy to talk to, regardless of her outer appearance.”

“Whatever,” Cross grumbled. 

Mel didn’t have to be a genius to see he was struggling on his own, with how he felt about her. Maybe if she could help him to see it was okay for him to feel attracted to Layla, that it wouldn’t be disrespecting Avery’s memory. Maybe, it could help him. Maybe. 

“Is she very different from Avery?”

Crosshair let out a deep sigh, as he thought back to his moments with his wife, “Yes. Avery … She knew how to command a room. She was kind but also didn’t allow herself to have to put up with bullsh…”

“Hey, language!”

“Bull shenanigans?” Cross asked, arching his eyebrow.

“Better”

He rolled his eyes, before he continued, “She was someone who everyone looked up to and relied on. She was hella smart. I mean Tech, Kamarie and her could’ve had a three way tie on who was the more brilliant of the three. Plus, she knew how to handle herself.” A small smile appeared on Cross’ lips, “She was amazing.”

It broke Mel’s heart a little, not having had a chance to know this woman who won her brother-in-law’s heart so completely. She could see he was struggling, but she also wanted him to move on especially since he had stopped all his extracurricular activities since Avery passed. He deserved to be happy, so why not try with someone he was attracted to, “You don’t think Layla is like her in any way?”

“No. Avery was one of a kind.”

“Then is it so wrong to admit, you find Layla attractive?” She turned slightly to look at him face-on, which maybe was the wrong decision seeing as how he slowly turned his head to glare at her, “All I’m saying, is that I noticed how you kept looking at her the other day when we ran into her at the grocery store … and at the gym…”

“Doesn’t mean anything,” he growled out, his hand clenching against his knee. 

“Okay, if you say so” Mel held her hand up in surrender, she knew when not to push, “Just promise me one thing” she moved to get off the couch, “don’t hold back simply because you think you should. Not if she makes you happy.”

Mel was pulled from her thoughts, by loud yellingcoming from Rob. Despite how tipsy she and Zai were feeling, everyone sobered up real quick. 

They all moved to join Crosshair and Rob, ready to intervene should the need arise.

“It’s not possible! You’re cheating!” Rob’s voice covered, over all the other noises. 

“Alright, why don’t you draw a target?” Hunter held out the pen to Rob hoping it would calm him down, as soon as the pen was out of his hand, Hunter moved to stand beside Zai, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into his side. 

“You’re going to love this,” he whispered in her ear, a subtle smirk appearing.

“Crosshair is great and all,” she teased, “but when am I going to see your skills, habibi?”

Hunter pressed a kiss to the helix of her ear, “Tonight,” he whispered as his hand shifted down to her hip, pulling her almost impossible close to his side. Her face heated as she nudged his ribs, telling him to behave himself. 

Rob walked over to the target beside the one Crosshair was using, placing a tiny dot just outside the centre of the last ring. 

Crosshair simply chuckled as he nodded, “Any restrictions?”

“Yeah, blindfold.”

“Uh, excuse me, but is that safe?” I spoke up at the insanity that was suggested by a very childish man. “I mean anyone could walk out in front of Crosshair and he wouldn’t be able to tell.”

“Thank you for the confidence,” he sputtered sarcastically as he rolled his eyes at her.

“Come on …” I tried to placate him, however Echo stopped me, as he tapped my shoulder.

“Don’t worry, we’ll make sure no one crosses in front,” Echo offered, as everyone formed a semi circle around the two targets behind Cross. 

Sofie offered to tie her scarf around Crosshair’s eyes as a makeshift blindfold, once she’d tied it in place and he confirmed he couldn’t see anything, Cross raised his arm. The tension built as other people started to join our circle to watch after Rob’s loud commotion. 

My stomach was in knots, not because he couldn’t hit the mark, but rather I just didn’t want anyone to get hurt. 

Crosshair moved his arm carefully forwards mapping out the angle, he took in a slow breath, moving his arm back just above his head and released the axe. 

The crowd erupted in an uproarious applause and cheer as Crosshair’s axe hit the makeshift target Rob had drawn not even five minutes before. 

Crosshair smirked as he pulled off the blindfold, watching Rob examining the axe. He passed the scarf back to Sofie, nodding his thanks, before walking over with a smile and a swagger in his steps, stopping in front of Layla.

“What did you think?” He didn’t know why he asked her, he didn’t even know why his feet brought him over to her. 

“I think I can see why you’re a sniper.”

He leaned into her ear, his voice barely above a whisper, “Ex-sniper, and try not to broadcast that,” he smirked, before heading over to talk to Tech. 

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[roguetelepaths]

byron + 1, 2, 5, 24,

Oh fuck yeah I was hoping someone would do this. This is going to be a massive wall of text and I'm sorry but also I'm really not. You have unleashed the infodump dragon and it's not leaving until it's run off some of its zoomies.

Why do you like or dislike this character?

You know a fun fact about me is that I was on Team Byron Disliker when I first started Season 5 just due to what I'd heard through pop culture osmosis. I even made a post to that effect after watching a couple of his episodes (deleted now because I was sick of seeing it in my notes) that got some circulation in the fandom. But the further I got into that arc and the more I thought about him, the less I saw what I expected to see when I started. Instead I saw someone who, though flawed, spent most of the time he was on screen trying to be gentle and compassionate and trying to protect his people in a situation that was hell bent on making it as hard as possible for him to do those things.

I do think he has a manipulative streak, and I do think he's the type to occasionally do very hurtful things because he believes he's doing so for the right reasons (see for example that fucking "doesn't it feel nice to be asked" scene between him and Lyta in The Paragon of Animals, even as a Lyta/Byron shipper that makes me SO ANGRY because that point could be made in LITERALLY any other way that didn't involve demeaning her and shouting at her, I get that you're pissed off at the people who did that to her but taking it out on her isn't gonna help anyone so stop) but those flaws when combined with his genuine good intentions and abundance of care are fascinating.

A big part of why I think people dislike him as a character is because those flaws are presented as an immutable Fact Of Who He Is, which, yeah, I can see why someone would find that insufferable, but I like writing character growth and he deserves some.

Tl;dr, I like him because he's complicated. I dislike the way canon never seemed to want to grapple with those complications.

Favorite canon thing about this character?

That scene with the one guy in Downbelow. You know the one. Letting someone punch you repeatedly because you want to teach them a lesson about how finding a target to beat up on isn't actually going to solve their problems is... genuinely fucking baller and I wish we'd gotten to see more of that side of him.

Also that thing with Lyta in Strange Relations that's basically a mutual "I'm not overextending myself YOU'RE overextending yourself! Please slow down and rest 🥺" is probably what made me ship them as hard as I do. Dipping out of canon and into my fic for a second, but that interaction is so different from their first interaction that I kind of have to wonder if someone talked to him about the way he treated her. (I may have written a missing scene about that but it needs some fine tuning before I feel good about posting it.)

What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

oh my god!!! so many. SO MANY. But uhhhh I can narrow it down to like four?

Runaway by The National as a general theme song

I, Carrion (Icarian) by Hozier as a soft and sad song for him and Lyta

The Deserter's Song by Radical Face as a backstory reveal song

New World Coming (any version but I like the one by Nina Simone best because. Come on. It's Nina fucking Simone how can you top that) because I'm almost certain it was one of the songs JMS pulled from when he was writing That Song For That Scene.

What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

I've been saying this from the very beginning— The Signless from Homestuck. (Yes, I'm a Homestuck enjoyer. Sorry.) I just love my pacifist resistance leaders with feral partners and tragic endings okay.

[hybbart]

May I request you draw some empires s1 flower husbands I Miss them so much( ps your jimmy design is adorable)

First of all thank you very much! Now, I have actually drawn a little sketch for you. But I'm gonna put it in another post cause I just wanted to use this ask to say a couple things so it doesn’t get bogged down by this, cause this happens to touch close to some topics I wanted to mention for a while now but my brain has a hard time letting me just make permanent text posts on this blog specifically since it's supposed to be for my art.

Long post so I'm putting it below the read more. Sorry if this seems like an inappropriate reply, I really just don’t know how or where else to say these things.

TL;DR: I've given myself strict rules on what I'll personally depict in my mcyt art, I'm not actually fond of flower husbands or Jimmy and Scott's dynamic in general (adore both of them individually though), and I still don't really know much about e1 outside of Lizzie so have 3rd life instead.

First thing is something I probably shoulda said a long time ago cause I've gotten a few asks about drawing explicitly romantic or sexual stuff, but I don't intend to draw either of those things. I have a big difference between what I'm comfortable consuming and what I'm comfortable making myself. I gave myself a lot of personal boundaries when decided to draw mcyt stuff based on my own comfort.

Rule 1 is no sexualization or gore, basically keep things in the realm of the same rating as the hermits.

Rule 2 is that my designs would only be based on skins, lore, and fanon, and never anything around their irl selves.

Rule 3 is not to draw anything that was more than interpretive in relation to romantic vs platonic.

Rule 0.5, the only exceptions to be made would be for references to gags they themselves have made in videos.

I know some of my stuff pushes against the line on these rules, especially for jokes or replying to asks that use shipping terms, but they're ones I don't intend to ever fully cross with my own art. There's a lot of other amazing artists on here who are more comfortable with drawing that stuff.

So if you ever send in a request for art just know that ones that push against or cross these rules to me, I'm going to skip over them. Not anything against the request it's just my own rules. Sometimes I also just don't get to them, but I'd appreciate those rules being kept in mind when requesting.

Second topic starts with a bit of a story. So, I got introduced to the life series through a Grian animation that popped up when I was in my more standard annual hermitcraft phase. The first thing I watched of the life series was thus Grian's videos of 3rd life and double life very out of order and jumping all over the place.

Cause of that the very first thing I ever saw in relation to flower husbands was after Jimmy was already dead, and it was Scott talking about how his husband is dead after the desert war, telling Grian "see this is why I don't trust Jimmy with anything, because he's incompetent. I did warn you all." and it never really recovered from that first impression for me. It actually took me a long time to figure out it was more than a one off joke to call him his husband, cause it felt like every time I saw a scene with Scott he was just insulting Jimmy or begrudgingly putting up with him in a not very funny way. I really do not vibe with them as the flower husbands cause of that.

(That said I do adore both of them separately, and they are very entertaining as exes. Scott's just a lot more enjoyable as part of GGG and the divorcees, and I am very susceptible to the 'Jimmy bullying joke didn't quite land and I'm now just uncomfortable' low tolerance problem.)

Third is, I have actually watched an empires 1 pov now! Yay! But it was Lizzie's and there honestly isn't all that much related to them in her pov. There was actually not nearly as much related to others as I expected in general. Still loved it but didn't provide much is far as context for the season as a whole. Plus I'm unhappy with Scott's design for it and wanna redesign it. So basically I drew them from 3rd life instead.

[blazehedgehog]

I know this isn't a question, and idk if you get this a lot, buuuut... you're honestly one of my idols. <3 I don't mean that in a creepy way, I just think you're really awesome. Keep doing what you do.

I'm always appreciative of posts like this. I don't get tons, but I do get some.

It's weird, actually. For years I've had a number of friends and family try to uplift me about how they think I'm smart and talented and this and that, and while the gesture is always welcome, it... Never felt like it manifested in much?

Like, on Youtube, right. There are people that blow past 100,000 subs in under a year. There are people that do that with a million subs! And I'm over here, channel registered since 2006 or even 2005, and just passed 25k subscribers last year. 18 months later I am inching ever closer to 30k.

Or writing, right. Something I hung my hat on for a long time was writing this article for TSSZ where I was told "hey write something simple for this thing that just happened" but that would have meant an article with a couple sentences summarizing a press release. And this was kind of an ongoing story type deal, but it was the first time we had posted about it.

So I decided to describe everything that had happened so far. I did research, cited sources, and by the end of it I had two or three paragraphs of text that summarized everything that was going on. And I had a friend tell me, "Good work. You did more research than Kotaku."

Or, like, YouTube comments. I've gotten enough YouTube comments from people who are legit impressed with my editing skills but are amazed I'm not a bigger name. I remember a comment on my Sonic 3 video where somebody literally said "every time I think I'm starting to get bored, you pull another twist. I can't stop watching."

So confidence in my abilities has been steadily improving.

But my actual growth has always been slow. I've remained this unknown. And that gets to you, y'know? To have friends and family and fans uplift you, but to be stuck in this no-man's-land of "almost somebody."

You even start to get paranoid: do I have a reputation I'm not aware of? What are people saying behind my back? Maybe everybody just hates me, and this is what I deserve. I've definitely had interactions feed those fears, where it seems like I'm getting punished for reasons beyond my understanding. You can make yourself insane worrying about something that is, ultimately, nothing.

That's the result of many things. I won't go over it yet again, but I spent a long time after dropping out of high school depressed to a hazardous degree. My mom put the fear of "people who commit suicide go to hell with no remorse" in to me, so I was never suicidal, but I had fully given up in a way that may as well been a type of suicide. I did not end my life, but I did stop living.

And it's been a long, slow, painful process to understand that and start digging myself back out. To come back from a loneliness so encompassing you've grown numb to it.

It's a difficult process that has lead to a lot of awkward interactions. Spend long enough being antisocial and you forget how to be social. But rather that stress about it, and how weird I must seem to everyone else, I'm learning to be patient with myself. There are certain things about me where I have a lot of catching up to do, but I can't rush things.

Something also changed in me this last year. As my mom was getting sick and I was taking care of her, we had a very long, emotional talk about the future. I explained a lot of things I had figured out about myself but never told her, because I had a feeling. I knew our dynamic was going to change and I'd have to step up more at the very least. That I had squandered what I was building on YouTube and wasn't treating it with respect. And I wanted to try doing it for real. And she said to me, "I always knew you were going to be famous some day."

So... I'm trying to live up to that while I still can. And in particular, these last six or eight months, it really feels like I'm at a turning point. Things are starting to change for me. The way people treat me is starting to change. A lot of the things I was getting paranoid about turned out to be nothing. I'm starting to feel like somebody. Like the kind of person everyone always said I was.

And it's always nice to be reminded of that.

[ghoste-catte]

I was curious what advice would you give to someone new to writing fics? I've been wanting to get back into it but haven't seriously written something since high school. I hope this isn't an annoying question or anything!

Not an annoying question at all! I'm just a little worried that I won't have terribly good or useful advice. To be honest, I also sort of stopped writing in earnest right as I finished high school, and didn't pick it back up until my late 20s. It's certainly an adjustment! But I think the few things that really helped me get back into writing fic as a hobby and something I spend quite a bit of time on would be:

Write for yourself first, then find your other motivations. My original inspiration in getting back into fic writing was that there just were not that many fics I liked for my favorite pairing, and I wanted more of them, and I especially wanted more with the tropes and characterizations I wanted to see. I think at the very core of anything you need that internal spark that drives you. At the same time, for me at least, if I just relied on my own drive, I would not get much done; I need some external guardrails. So having people send prompts, or writing for particular events, or writing stuff for friends really helps me to get my ass in gear and finish stuff. That may not be the perfect motivator for you, and that's fine! You just gotta figure out what is.

Be open to inspiration. Anything and everything can be spun out into a story with the right tweaking. Obviously stuff like music is a classic inspiration source, but I've also pulled ideas from poetry, from memes, from Reddit threads, from YouTube videos, from rambling conversations on Discord and from real life to make fics out of. So many times, someone will post a silly Twitter screencap, and I'll think, There's a fic in this. And a lot of the time, there is! Research is a wonderful thing, but so is serendipity. If you're out there actively looking for ideas, eventually one that you like will stumble past you.

Find your community. I can genuinely say I never would have finished more than one fic if I didn't have fandom friends to talk to about even stupid headcanons, to bounce ideas off of, and to encourage me (and to encourage them in turn!). Discord has been a godsend, and some of my closest online friends are people I met in the GaaLee discord server. As I've gotten more comfortable as a writer, I've also joined general writing servers and Reddit communities and have found them immensely helpful on both a motivational level (bingos, sprints, owe-me challenges) and on a craft level (plot workshopping and writing ethics and live grammar help). It's a lot easier to think about fic ideas and hash through problem moments when I have a constant stream of fandom-related chatter coming from the little people who live in my phone! Ao3 is an amazing website, and it's great as, well, an archive, but it isn't social media by design. If you want conversation and human connection and cheerleading, you've gotta forge out and find it.

Make it a habit ... If you want to produce anything longer than a couple hundred words, you really have to set aside time for it. And writing is just like knitting or dirt biking or painting little model figurines: the more you do it, the more easily it comes. When I was first getting back into the proper swing of things, I committed myself to 30 minutes of writing per week. Just 30 minutes. I didn't even hit that goal every week, but there were tons of weeks I got on a roll and went over that amount, and by the end of the year I'd written over 200,000 words. I used to spend an hour laboriously tip-tapping out 200 words, but now I can easily blow through 1k in a 50 minute sprint. It's all about training that muscle.

... But don't make it a chore. With fanfic, you aren't doing this as a job, and you aren't ultimately doing it for anyone other than you. That means you can take breaks when you need them, you can set deadlines and then fail to meet them, you can write stuff and then decide to never post it. When you start getting burnt out, when the practice loses the joy and energy, stop. There's no 'hustle' here. In our capitalist society we're so trained to push past our limits and keep going even when it hurts us, but the hobby you do for connection and relaxation and whatever else shouldn't be like that.

Ignore metrics. Sometimes stuff isn't gonna get hits, or kudos, or comments. There are some basic 'rules' as to the stuff that does and doesn't get traction, but every time you post something it's a roll of the dice. If you're focused on watching that kudos counter tick up, you will get bummed out fast. And any writer will tell you that the stuff you think is your best work will never be the stuff that gets the most accolades. So you have to find something else to give you a sense of success. For me, it's watching my wordcount go up in my stats and those occasional comments where someone has a lot to say and that one person who always leaves me a <3 emoji (and, shout out to @egregiousderp, having someone to have long one-on-one conversations with about the stuff that never made it to page).

Don't strive for perfection. It's really easy to want your first ever fic to be a complete showstopper, the best fic fandom has ever seen, hitting all the tropes and the ideas and the characterization that you just know fandom is missing and would be everyone's top favorite if only it was written. This is a trap. No one fic can be all things. Most people who want to write an epic as their very first venture will not see the end of that epic, because they haven't put in the practice hours to make something on that scale work. That's not to say you can't start out with a big, sprawling multichap, just don't expect it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread if you're just starting out, and be okay with abandoning it for greener pastures if you get to that point. Think of the first time someone makes a vase out of clay or bakes a loaf of bread. That's never their best vase or their best bread. If they keep up with it, they'll make more and better vases and loaves. Likewise, your first fic is probably not gonna be your best fic. See it for what it is: your launchpad.

You can't edit an empty page, but you can over-edit a full one. This kind of spins off of #7, but if the words aren't there, you can't fix them. Daydreams and headcanons are fantastic (and god, how many times have I wished for a speech-to-text engine that projected my falling asleep thoughts onto a Google doc for later perusal), but they aren't fic. If you want to write fic, you've gotta get comfortable with the idea of sloppy outlines and rough first drafts. You can't build a house without a frame and you can't build a man without a skeleton (I mean, you can, I guess, but he'd be one floppy man). The nice thing about fic is that it doesn't matter if that frame is structurally unsound or the skeleton has 18 too many bones, you can clean that up in the editing process. But you can't start hanging curtains and arranging furniture in something that doesn't even have walls. That's the process. But! Also know when to set down the editor's pen and say, "Okay, this is good enough for government work", and call it done. ("Done" doesn't have to mean "posted", but it does mean, "I'm done picking at this for now, and I'm gonna go write some more stuff".) Over-editing can make stuff seem laborious and forced, and it prevents you from actually improving. To continue belaboring the house metaphor, you can spend your whole life rearranging furniture in just one room, but the end result of that is a pretty narrow existence and a room with a lot of footprints and tracks in the carpet.

Write shit down. When you have ideas, jot them down--in a notebook, in a Google Doc, in the Notes app of your phone, in pen on the back of your hand. You think you will remember that brilliant line of dialogue or sparkling snippet of narration or genius plot that came to you in a dream, but you Will Not. Write it down. Write it down. Write it down! There have been so many times when a fic was completely saved by past!me having written down my shower thoughts about what happens next in the fic, that present!me had completely forgotten about and was floundering over.

Have fun with it! Try different stuff. Try stupid stuff. Try experimental stuff. Do stuff you've never done before that you aren't sure will work. It's important to get comfortable with your niche (for example, I know I'm never going to be the sort of person who writes intricate plots of intrigue or super long 100k epics or detailed battles), but you can't find that niche unless you explore lots of different niches! Figure out what you love and what you absolutely hate, and then keep doing the stuff you love.

Okay, so that was actually TEN things, but ... I hope you still found this helpful. Feel free to send another ask if any of this was confusing or unclear. Good luck with your fic writing and, if you want, send me a link to what you've written once you've written it! I'd love to read it.

[gracereally]

Getting Stopped by the Cops and Other Embarrassing Things That Happened in My First Week of Freedom

Hello hello!

It's been one week since I was freed from the two week travelers' quarantine upon arriving in Korea. So much has happened this past week I can barely believe it's only been a single week!

Moving to a new country comes with a lot of stumbling blocks, especially when you don't speak the language. Today's post is framed within some of the more embarrassing (and funny) growing pains I have had this week.

Monday

My first day out of quarantine was on Monday! I would be released at 12pm, so my school director thought it would be prudent to get my health exam the same day in order to get it out of the way. Everyone entering Korea with my visa needs a full health exam to ensure we are not bringing any problematic illnesses (besides COVID) to the country.

So my first day out of quarantine consisted of being poked, prodded, peeing in a cup, drawing blood, getting x-rayed fully naked, and other awful ventures. Many people at the health center didn't speak English, but my school director helped when she could, and everyone was very kind. Still, it felt kind of humiliating for my first post-isolation experience.

Afterwards, she took me to a cafe for lunch, to the grocery store for supplies, and she also gave me a tour of my apartment building. It was a full day, and a little overstimulating to be honest. I went to bed early before my first day of work.

Tuesday

On Tuesday I started at my new job! I learned all about the school, it's curriculum, and observed a few classes. I have a lot of thoughts about the school, but I'll speak about it in another post.

Wednesday

I taught a full day of classes.

Yep, you heard right. I taught a full day of classes on my second day of work. For the most part it went alright, but it is a STRUGGLE to jump into a class in which you have no context, don't know the students, or even what they have been learning. But I got through it!

Thursday & Friday

For the rest of the week, I taught most of my classes. Typically teachers will observe for a few days, but my director had me jump right in. It was tough, and I think it's going to continue to be that way for a few weeks. It's kind of terrible to be so unsure of yourself at the front of the classroom, as well as having to conduct myself in such a specific way to fit the school's standards. I've been teaching for years but still really doubted myself this week. But I guess I'll learn!

On Friday after work, a co-worker of mine (also a newbie!) and I were bored and decided to explore the neighborhood. Since we get out of work at 9pm, it was too late for anything to be open. Currently, Seoul is at a level 4 lockdown, so all restaurants and bars are closed by 9pm. Gangnam was a ghost town as we walked around, but it was still nice to get out of the apartment.

Saturday

The same co-worker and I decided to go shopping for new work clothes. I was under the impression my job would be a business casual dress code...but as it turns out they expect us to look extremely professional, and I needed new clothes.

We took the subway to an underground mall and shopped for hours. It was really fun! The mall was underground, and consisted of a ton of clothing stalls. Unfortunately, it was a struggle to find clothes that would actually fit my body. Korea has "free sizes" which are supposed to be one-size-fits-all, but they definitely do not fit all. Most clothes were smaller than an American medium.

I bought a few things, and then we went to a Korean restaurant. It was 8:30pm when we walked in and the restaurant was empty, so we thought it would be a quick, cheap meal before we headed home. The store owner kept asking us to 'hurry up' because of the curfew, so we had to eat fast. But it was yummy at least.

We also may have gotten slightly turned around on our way back home, but we made it back eventually haha.

Sunday

My co-worker texted me that there is a K-pop event not too far from us and she wants to go. I don't know anything about K-pop but I was down. We decided to take electric scooters.

On every street corner here you can find electric scooters waiting to be rented. With a quick download of an app, you scan the scooter's bar code and can enjoy a ride! It was a really fun and inexpensive way to travel. We went to two cafe giveaways, where you apparently order a particular drink to get some K-pop swag. Ordering was a little bit of a struggle with the language barrier, but we managed it. My co-worker is luckily much more knowledgeable about Korean than I am.

You might be wondering what I was talking about in my post title, but no it's not clickbait: I really did get pulled over by the cops. On the scooter.

We had also decided to go to a different mall later on, and we took the scooters again. This time, we took a bigger road, and made our way to COEX mall. All of a sudden, a cop car pulls up next to us and asked us to stop. Apparently, it's illegal to ride the scooters 1. on sidewalks (though we had seen others doing this) and 2. without a helmet. They took our drivers' licenses and their eyes bugged when they saw our American cards. We explained we had no idea and we had only just arrived in Korea so they let us go with only a warning. We decided to walk the rest of the way LOL

Unfortunately it was still a bust in terms of clothing sizes at the mall, even at the foreign stores like H&M and Zara. I tried on a 16 in H&M and could not even get the clothes on -- I am usually a 10! And yes, they were supposedly US sizes. I guess it will be only online shopping for me.

We decided to end the day at a Mexican restaurant, where our language barrier while ordering caused them to only bring us one meal (we had both ordered 2 enchiladas...so they brought us one order of 2 instead of 2 orders of 2). We talked about how embarrassing and rude of us it feels like to stumble so much with Korean, but most people here have been kind to us.

Anyway, it's been a long but fun week. Life here in SK is definitely going to be different, but it's so interesting to experience such new things. Here's hoping the growing pains get easier.

Until next time,

Grace ~

[chibisquirt]

You don't have to answer, but if you wouldn't mind. What are some things you've learned about ADHD from Tumblr that are applicable to you, or others you may now? I've been reading more on it and how it manifests in girls/women and was curious when I read your rb on that post about Grammarly

I don’t mind at all!  Fair warning:  this is gonna be LONG.

I’m going to start by repeating something I mentioned in that post:  I was diagnosed in third grade, which was over two decades ago.  I had my diagnosis halfway through elementary school, much less high school and two rounds of college.  So a lot of the old information about ADHD I learned as a young person, and those things are worth exploring, too.  

Example:  It’s not that I’m not listening, Mrs. Nock, it’s just that if I try to keep my hands still, then the only thing I will retain from the lesson will be keep your hands still and not the things you trying to teach, which are supposedly important! 

(Mrs. Nock was the one who said to me, “I believe you believe you’re paying attention.”  Yes, it’s been fifteen years.  Yes, I’m still mad.  If you can’t have basic respect for your students, don’t teach.)

I figured out half on my own, half because of the counselling that if I had a fidget tool that didn’t require words I would pay better attention than if I tried to sit still.  (I still remember being mocked by my dad for fidgeting well after making that discovery, though.  Apparently diagnoses should only inform compassion when they’re his.)  On the same lines, I also figured out that music in the background wouldn’t work for me if it had words, and television is too distracting for me to use at all.  (I have a friend, though, whose ADHD works the opposite way:  he has difficulty focusing if there isn’t a television in the background.  Yes, both are valid.)

So, the Classics:  

I always had trouble with organization and cleaning, had trouble with schedules and calendars and managing my time.  Those are the things they’ll warn you about, the things they’ll tell you in counselling are natural and normal things for people with ADHD to have trouble with.  Trouble paying attention, sure.  Trouble sitting still.  Procrastination.  Got it.

But if you turn those traits around and re-frame them, they become a new set of symptoms.  Adaptations for these new symptoms are more personal and universally applicable in my life, and therefore, to my mind, more useful.

Take Procrastination.  (No really: please take it.)  That just means “putting it off until tomorrow,” and there are lots of reasons to do it:  “don’t have the tool I need” is one of the biggies, “want to conserve steps” trips me up a lot, “I still have time to get to it” is HUGE for me...  But a lot of times, these are just superficial reasons.  The re-framed symptom is, Trouble making yourself do things you don’t want to do.  

ADHD is an executive function disorder.  That’s a phrase I first learned on Tumblr, by the way; it may have been mentioned by one of my earlier counsellors, but it definitely wasn’t taught.  

This is why soooo many of us have struggled with the perception (including self-perception) that we’re lazy!  But no one tells the kid in the wheelchair he’s just lazy for not playing basketball.  (Okay, they totally do.  People are terrible.  Ignore that, stick to the point.)  I reframe this the way I do because acknowledging this as a symptom, taking the blame out of it, makes it easier to find adaptation.

Now, this is a personal post.  YMMV.  But I have an easier time managing my conduct if, instead of calling myself lazy a procrastinator, I say, “I keep not doing that --> oh it’s because I Don’t Wanna --> how can I con myself into doing it?”  (Strategies include bargaining, making it easier, powering through but then allowing yourself to stop afterwards, just acknowledging that I Don’t Wanna and allowing that to be valid...)  Procrastination is an action, but “executive function disorder” is a disease and “I Don’t Wanna” is its trigger, just as much as an allergy and a clump of ragweed are.  “Procrastination” is a powerful sphynx against which I’m helpless, but “I Don’t Wanna Disease” lets me start cultivating my metaphorical catnip and researching the answers to common riddles.

And while we’re talking about procrastination--and trouble with deadlines, and schedules in general--let’s talk about Time Insensitivity.  Missed deadlines and perpetual lateness (perpetual) are external actions, just like procrastination, and they can have all sorts of explanations.  

(Shoutout to Mrs. Pollack, who looked around a classroom containing thirteen-year-old me, and, knowing full well that I was chronically tardy, declared that “anybody who’s always running late, deep down, they just doesn’t care about anybody else’s time.”  Great job with calling the thirteen-year-old a heartless bitch, Mrs. Pollack!  As you can tell, I definitely forgot it very quickly, and didn’t at all have a self-critical breakdown about it, periodically revisiting the question of my own inherent selfishness for years!!!)

But ignoring the external actions, let’s take a compassionate look inside the head again.  Executive function includes regulation of, and awareness of the passing of, time.  Again: you can’t play the basketball with no legs.  We literally do not realize what time is doing.  Sometimes we do--if we devote enough of our attention to it, which may be a large amount for some, a small amount for others, or a variable amount for the same person.  But our brains literally don’t process it the same way.  

But hold on a minute--let’s go back to that analogy.  Because actually, people with no legs can play basketball!  It’s just that you have to use the adaptation of wheelchairs to do it--and that’s an adaptation for the game and for the players.  

I use alarms.  I’ve recently seen a post about audio memos as alarms.  There are people who just slap clocks everywhere.  When I was forced to work in a kitchen with no clocks, I used the multi-setting timer and set it for like four hours so I would know if I was keeping on schedule.  I also chose a job environment where much of my shift is the same as itself, and rigid punctuality isn’t enforced--that’s adapting my environment, instead of myself.  There’s all kinds of adaptations.  But you have to know you have the condition before you can compensate for it.

Here’s a fun little story:  when I was... oh, eleven?  Twelve?  My Quaker Meeting’s youth group (#7 whitest phrase I’ve ever written) went to the museum together.  One of the stops was in the children’s section, there was a... a pegboard, I think?  With some kind of problem on it.  A puzzle.  Me and a couple others sat down at it, and it took me a while, but eventually I solved it, and I looked up.  

I blinked.  “Where is everybody?” I said.

“They left,” said my mom.  “Half an hour ago.”  

I was stunned.  “Half an hour ago?!  But I couldn’t’ve spent more than ten minutes on this!”

“I promise you, it was half an hour.”

“Why didn’t you call me??  Why didn’t you say my name?”

“We did.  Several times.”

To this day, I will swear myself blind that I never heard a thing.

Hyperfocusing.  They’ll tell you about the problems focusing; oh yes.  They’ll tell you allll about that one.  But they won’t tell you about the flip side of it.  They won’t tell you about the times when the rest of the world falls away, and the only two things in the world are you and whatever problem you’re trying to solve.  

D’y’know what, I bet that’s the reason I test well.  I just realized this now, phrasing it like that, but--I’ve always tested well, even when my actual practical applications of things are mediocre I do well with the classroom testing on it.  I scored a 39 on the MCAT, back when it was out of 45 and not whatever it is now.  (To those with the plain good sense not to want to be doctors:  that’s pretty good.)  And I just bet it’s because, once I get focused on solving the problems, the other problems--nerves, intrusive thoughts, anxiety--just don’t have room to get in.  Hyperfocusing can be a superpower, if you can harness it.  

But it can also blind you to everything else.  And it works in smaller ways, too:  once I think I understand something, it is very difficult for me to perceive information that contradicts that understanding.  I still get the map of the Elflands backwards every time I read The Goblin Emperor, just because I pictured it one way, and every indication in the text that it was the other way just fell on deaf ears.  

And this one leads right into the next, which is Rejection Sensitivity Disorder.  RSD is hyperfocus, but it’s hyperfocus on how everyone must hate you.  It’s delightful!  I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, as well, and I do have both of those things, but for my money, I think that this one symptom of ADHD--which no doctor has ever even mentioned to me--has hurt me more than both of those conditions combined.  

The last one I’m going to bring up is Auditory Processing Disorder.  Now, I’ve gone and gotten re-diagnosed twice in my life, and the last time was just a few years ago, so they actually used this one in the test.  The psychologist told me about it, she just didn’t use the phrase Auditory Processing Disorder, and she didn’t tell me that it was its own symptom--she just used it for the test.  

What she did was, she gave me two hearing tests, one to test whether or not I could hear, and then the other a list of words that all sounded alike, and I had to mark which one I was hearing.  The second part of that was very long, and very boring, and despite scoring perfectly on the first test, I got several wrong on the second.  I was actually surprised by that; I at no point suspected I had heard any of them wrong.  When she gave me the test, told me this was proof by contradiction, that we were ruling out hearing loss as an alternative explanation for my difficulties.�� It was only after the test was done that she explained that the pattern I showed was actually part of the diagnosis of ADHD; that we get bored, and stop really paying attention, and that we don’t even know we’re doing it.

...Okay, but you couldn’t have mentioned the part where I also do that every day in real life, lady?!?!  It’s not just when we’re bored, it’s not just for long processes.  I do this all the time.  I actually tell people now that “I actually have a neurological condition that makes it hard for me to hear; I can tell that you’re speaking, but I can’t tell what you’re saying.”  

This is 100% true.  It is a neurological condition.  

We label this a condition, but as a society, we don’t treat it that way.  Society treats it as yet another excuse.  It’s not.  You’re not lazy, stupid or crazy.  Neither am I.  

I have a condition.  Acknowledging that is the first step of treatment.  Not five thousand sticky notes, not binders or filing systems or even taking all the doors off the cupboards (although I definitely plan to do that one as soon as I possibly can).  Not counselling sessions with so many different people I can’t even name them all, for the love of god please understand that you can’t just fix it with pills.  

(Although mad props to the people who thought Concerta would magically solve me at the age of nine!  Spoiler alert:  it did not do that!  But it did mean that my parents felt comfortable blaming me for all my failures again, so it did at least some of what it was designed for, I guess. :) )   

I have spent the last few years re-understanding my ADHD it as is:  a neurological condition, a disability, and a simple fact of life.  A starting place, instead of yet more proof of my own inherent insufficiency.  And you know what?  When you take the blame and self-hatred out of the diagnosis--when you stop cursing it as the cause of all your problems and start trying to work with it, instead--it gets a lot easier to manage. 

[jeonsweetpea]

Hey bubs. Just so you know, I think people who are going to judge and criticize you for something that makes you happy SUCK. A lot of things that girls (especially young girls) enjoy are often ridiculed... But as I've gotten older I've realized it's bc of this long standing belief that our hobbies and interests aren't as important. Which is total bullshit. Have you expressed how much it hurts you that they aren't respectful of your interests? I would hope that your loved ones would :( today sounds like it was a rough day, here's to hoping tomorrow will be better 🥃

🥺❤️ Oh my love, you are always so wonderful to me and I’m thankful you take the time to read my posts and talk to me. Thank you! Today was definitely a lot better b/c I got to see my bf. Hehe. But I’ll be answering your question under the cut b/c it might be long and negative~.

I’ve always been judged for liking K-Pop since my junior high days (when I first found out about it). But I ignored the haters b/c they weren’t my friends and imo, it was their loss if they didn’t want to give K-Pop a chance. Haha. Back then, my bff was also into K-Pop and though we were into different fandoms, we understood each other. I’ve known her since we were practically born and it was something we bonded over among other things.

But once high school hit, so many things happened and our friendship went through a lot of obstacles. But we pulled through. However, she stopped getting invested into K-Pop as much as I did and I completely respected that. Then we started college and our majors kept us apart. Still, we tried to hang out whenever we could. 

She’s always been career-oriented, extremely talented, so she put 1000% into her studies. I found it hard to understand what she was going through in terms of stress/projects, but I was still there to comfort her. And she said she’d be there for me too... yet it never really felt like it. 

Because I’m so invested into K-Pop and more specifically BTS right now, she felt like she couldn’t understand me. At all. So she never tried to comfort me whenever I was feeling down because of something K-Pop related. Heck, she avoided it all together just because she “couldn’t understand”. I never asked for her to understand. I just wanted her there for me.

A great example was when I was depressed about my horrible BTS concert experiences and my stress over getting tickets for the concert that was supposed to happen in May 2020. It was also around the same time I got wrapped up in a toxic friend group situation and had to drop them. And my bff and I, we don’t really text that much tbh unless we have something light-hearted to say or we really needed one another. 

She did far from comfort me when I was depressed b/c of my concert experiences and through her words, I knew she was judging me for letting it affect me so much. It hurt.

And then I was called a delusional BTS fan from a close family member, so that added more to my pain as well.

Have you expressed how much it hurts you that they aren't respectful of your interests?

Sad to say, but if I even tried to express myself, somehow the opposite party gets offended or angry and as a result, drops me. I really can’t share much with people anymore when I’m hurt or something without them making it all about themselves. 

Something dumb happened between my bff and I recently, it shouldn’t have been a bigger deal than it was. But it opened my eyes to the fact that she is only there to comfort me whenever it’s something trivial and “easy” to understand. Whereas when I really need her for something serious (to me), she’s nowhere to be found. It made me realize all of our issues and that I’ve been clinging on to a friendship that’s probably best if we were just acquaintances. Sad to say it. But I’m done with people who don’t try as much as I do. 

[another-sonic-blog]

The Dark Prince: Epilogue: Not The Dark Prince

"Today is the first Independence anniversary for the Acorn Kingdom! Not too long ago, the Acorn Kingdom was under the commands of their tyrant King. Everyone expected the Rebellion leader Princess Sally Acorn to take over the throne. However, informants declare that a secret member of the Rebellion, whose face had not been revealed yet, has been picked by the people of the Acorn Kingdom to take over the throne. He goes by the name of-"

"Cream, stop watching that!", Amy turned off the TV of her leaving room.

"But they were going to reveal the name of the new King!" Cream said winning.

"You have been too obsessed with this new King, you don't even know his name nor his face...what's with this guy anyway?" Amy said as she looked at herself in the mirror, making sure that her hair looks decent for work.

"He is just so mysterious! The news is always talking about him and about the things he has done or the Acorn Kingdom...Weirdly enough, the Acorn Kingdom never let a single picture of him infiltrate...I wonder why?" Cream said thoughtfully.

"He is a secret Rebellion member, if his identity was revealed, then the Kingdom would probably go after his loved ones."

"Rouge?!"

Amy and Cream turned around to find Rouge drinking a cup of coffee. "What?"

"How long have you been there?"

"Half an hour", She said as she took a sip. "I used to be spy honey...I remember some old tricks."

"I forgot that just two years ago you used to work for G.U.N hehe... well at least you are doing good as a self-defense trainer." Cream said as she made room for her bat friend to sit with her on the sofa.

"And you are doing good as a Pre-K teacher yourself Cream.", Rouge took a seat next to her rabbit friend.

"I am really happy you are here Rouge but I am just leaving to work," Amy said as she opened the door, ready to leave.

"But we even haven't talked about the wedding yet!" Rouge said almost screaming as she saw Amy leave.

"We will talk about it as soon as I get back home!

And with that Amy left.

Rouge and Cream looked at each other, already knowing what they were going to do next.

They turned the TV and watched the breaking news.

The news reporter was shown quickly on the TV, still announcing the breaking news. "Who would have thought that the new King of the Acorn Kingdom will be no other than the re-owned worldwide superhero-"

Then, both Rouge and Cream yelled in unison...

"IT'S HIM!"

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It has been another busy day at Momo's Cafe, AKA Amy's cafe. Although she was thankful that her cafe had become more popular these days, she was still thankful that everything was working well.

She looked up at her phone, looking at it proudly, she was able to buy herself a smartphone. She received a text message from Sonic clearly saying: "Can't wait to see you!"

Amy smiled with the text, it has been two weeks since she last Sonic and she was super excited to him. She texted back: "I am cleaning up at the cafe, you can come if you want."

"Alright :)" He texted back.

She put her phone away and put on some music to start cleaning up. Her last employee left and since Amy was the owner, she made a thing that it must be her the first one to arrive and the last one to leave.

To leave

It has already been two years and still no signs of him. She really wonders if she is worth waiting for him this long. She wanted him to be there for the wedding, but it seems like she wasn't going to see him anytime soon.

Amy used a towel to clean the underpart of the cashier's table. As if she was under it, she heard the cafe's door open. Steps getting closer to her as they finally made a stop in front of the cashier, waiting to get service. Amy was having a bit of difficulty getting herself up from the underpart of the table, as she hit her head.

"Can I have a cup of black coffee?"

Amy heard a someone from the other side of the cashier say, as she stopped from touching her head, she quickly stood up to face her client.

"Sorry sir, we are closed-"

This must be a dream.

Amy must have hit her head too hard because the one standing right in front of her, asking her for a cup of black coffee was no other than Shadow the Hedgehog.

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.

This wasn't like in the books, where both protagonists end up kissing each other after a long time of not meeting.

Their feelings were never like that, and Shadow was aware of that. Before, Shadow would be worried about that fact. Now, it didn't matter, it was unique. It wasn't fictional....

their feelings were real.

And now they were here, alone, drinking coffee on the place where everything began. Quietly, their eyes crossed each other, not knowing where to star.

"So...how you have been?" Amy asked trying not to make eye contact. Shadow took a sip of his coffee before answering, keeping his cool.

"I've been alright"

That was it. Shadow couldn't get words out of his mouth. He really was trying to make any motion possible to show that he was happy to be here.

"What-um..what you?"

"What?"

"What about you?" Shadow finally was able to pronounce his words properly. He didn't know why he was getting so nervous for. It was just Amy, the girl who he had a crush on since forever, nothing to be worried about right?

"I've well since you left two years, I kept working on my cafe and now it's gotten more popular. Also that I've been busy planning a wedding." Amy said simply, still trying to fully realize that the Dark Prince was in front of her.

"Oh...A wedding?...things between you and Sonic must be pretty good then." Shadow sighed, what was he expecting? He clearly told Sonic to go after Amy, and for him to make her happy. It had been two years, so of course their relationship had developed. Of course Sonic would want to marry her, who wouldn't? At least Shadow would do it in a heartbeat.

So if he knew...why was there still a pain in his heart?

Oh, yes...because he had hoped that Amy would have waited for him. But he knew that it would be selfish of him to ask her to do so.

"Ummm, yes we are good but I am planning Rouge and Knuckles' wedding. They asked me to do it, so of course, I said yes. Don't get me wrong, I love planning but it can be stressing at times."

"Wait, so Sonic and you?"

"What about us?" Amy said a bit weird out by Shadow's question.

"You know..you both are...a thing?"

"No, we never dated. I couldn't bring myself to think about anyone else after what Sonic told me." Amy took a sip once again from her cup, already knowing where this was going.

"What did Sonic told you?"

Shadow was panicking. Sonic couldn't have told Amy about the letter...right?

"Mmm...where should I start?... I am not perfect, and I may have hurt you-"

"STOP!"

Shadow could feel his cheeks getting hotter by the second. He had never felt this flustered before. He hated himself as he realized that he had lost his cool.

"I am sorry...I won't talk about it again." Amy said smiling a bit, proud that she made Shadow get pink like that.

A few minutes passed again in silence as Shadow had gotten his composure back. "So...you waited for me? Although I told Sonic to be with you?"

"Sonic always put others before himself. He knew that you loved me so he stepped aside. He asked me if I was ok with it...you know...If I was ok with waiting..."

Amy sighed as she remembers the scene clearly from two years ago. Sonic showing her the letter Shadow had left. Reading Shadow's true feelings was what made Amy come up with an answer.

"And I said yes."

For a moment, Shadow couldn't' hear anything but his heartbeat. For a small fraction of a second, Shadow couldn't see anything but Amy. That 'Yes' stumble his ears again and again, almost like a melody.

It may be a simple word, but for him...it meant everything.

All of this time, he was scared that all previous feelings Amy had for him were gone. But now, seeing her eyes glow like that as if she was about to cry. Her lips trembling, and her body ready to jump into his arms.

"Are you still looking for an extra worker?" Shadow smiled, hoping that his words will resonate with her.

"Yes..." Amy took one second to stop her voice from cracking. " I can't promise you a good paycheck but...I promise you that I'll never fire you... Will the Dark Prince comply to these terms?"

Shadow couldn't wait to get Amy into his arms. After two long years of being part of the Rebellion and learning more about himself, he was ready to start living. Although he still had questions about love and how it should be treated, he knew that the only way to learn was to experience it.

And he wanted to experience everything with Amy. Their time was ending, the two lovers had no one to stop them from loving each other. It was the beginning of the end, but what a beautiful ending it was.

Sonic had finally arrived at Amy's Cafe but he couldn't bring himself to interrupt the beautiful moment the two were having. At last, his promise to Shadow had been fulfilled and there was nothing else to do but watch. He smiled out of happiness as he watched the two share a small kiss. He learned to watch from afar and appreciate the little things life brings him. He was truly happy for them both.

Shadow smiled and held hands with Amy. He closed his eyes and opened them slowly as to savor the moment, not wanting to let go, he sighed and answered her question...

"I am not the Dark Prince anymore...but if you want, call me the Dark King."

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The Dark Prince Epilogue: END

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Previous Chapter: https://another-sonic-blog.tumblr.com/post/185970145230/its-been-a-while-since-sonic-had-seen-shadow-he

The Dark Prince: Chapter Nine: A Confession

A/N: This story came out from a small idea, now it has become a complete story.

Personally, I think this is the best ShadAmy fan-fiction I've written. I want to thank everyone who has followed this story to the very end. Especially those who comment and inspired me to keep writing.

There's really not much to say, I will probably take a break from writing stories with multiple chapters. I'll like to get my ideas going by writing one-shot stories, so of course, if anyone has prompt ideas feel free to message me.

Thank you once again to everyone who read "The Dark Prince" I have loved writing this story and its sad to let it go.

But all things that start well, end well.

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[screamsforhelp]

Academic & Non Academic students.

I am one of both. I am in grade 11, about to finish in June and move on to Senior year. I've never been a strong student with Math or science, I have struggled a lot in these classes. This year, I did amazing in Biology 11! Which was definitely a step up for me. But I've always been fascinated with the English courses. I love to write, but I do not practice it enough to call myself a write. I definitely would love to be a journalist after high school, which is why I'm going to work towards using this blog more to express my opinions and thoughts.

I'm starting with this topic, of how Academic students are treated Vs non academic.

My first semester of this year, I took Bio 11, Academic English 11, Mi'kmaw studies 11 and Art 11. All of which, are academic courses. Courses that only students take if they are trying to do something big with their life. (Except Mi'kmaw. Everyone takes to to get a credit.) Academic students are treated like mature young adults. We are seen as being students of greatness and that we will move on it big things some day. I noticed this especially with the teacher I had, for English. He made us understand things, and would get us to talk about things we may of never dreamed of talking about.

But they were all mature topics. A hand would be raised and a question would be asked within a sophisticated tone. The students in this class, were the ones who were also in AP Physics, and Academic Math, and Pre cal. You know, "the smart ones." But my friend and I, who I hope reads this, we aren't those students. We aren't the academic math and science students. We are arts students. Being in Academic English 11, was an eye opener. I was set with a different crowd of people then I was used to, and they were all very serious and rook everything in that class very..very seriously. We were treated like young adults. The way we were supposed to be.

Now, second semester, same friend as mentioned above, and I, we have two classes together. One, is Math at work 11, and the other is Film and Video production 12. Math at work, is for students who want to go into trades. But, if you are not an academic math student, this is the next step down. Math at work 11, is incredibly stupid. The drop from Academic to At work, is ridiculous. Even the teacher treats us differently. My boyfriend, who is in Academic 11, tells us all the time how hard the teacher is on them,

For us, he treats us like we are stupid. The gentleman, asked us several times over if we understood, what a cube was, and if understood that A squared + B squared will give us C squared. Not only that, but he will ask us if we understand certain things that are just common sense such as a cube has 6 sides. We had a question in our text book about a week and a half ago, that litterally asked us what the contents of a peanut butter and jam sandwich was. I'm not even joking. (View the image below) Yes it had other parts to the question but really? Read them, they will make you feel stupid.

This makes me mad. The step down from Academic courses, to Non Academic, is ridiculous and unfair in my opinion. Because I have gotten to be on both sides of the fence, it makes me incredibly angry. I wish there was something I could do more then just write an angry tumblr post. But I cannot change a whole school system. If I could, I would bring back the middle class between Academic and At work math, foundations? I'm not sure what it was called, but it was slightly harder then At work.

I am a student, and I have high capabilities, but you take certain classes, some of which I want to take because they seemed interesting to me, those being Film and Mi'kmaw, because they are classes that students take to just get the credit, they are taken as joke classes. This is not acceptable. Some students are actually there to learn, and as a student, I feel that just because the course, is not an academic course, or a course taken so people can just "Graduate", the teacher should not treat the students as if they are stupid, and we should not have to deal with kids who simply do not care or do not want to be there. I want to be there, I am here to learn. I want to do something good and make it in life. I want to finish high school.