#also i love moceit so bad they’re adorable

[stardustsides]

THE UNSLEEPING CITY

this is their dynamic to me

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Melted Mask

awitchbravestheverge prompt: I don't know if you're still taking prompts but you are a master of hurt/comfort and would sell you my soul for some of that for Janus. Maybe where he's feeling insecure or like he's worn out his welcome post acceptance, or maybe a little touch starved, or both. Preferably with Virgil or Patton as the comforter, but if not thats ok. I just have a never-ending need for fic where people are soft and gentle with the snake boy, and I love everything you write with my whole heart

Thanks for the request, babe!

Read on Ao3

Pairings: DLAMPR, focus on anxceit and moceit, can be platonic or romantic you decide I don’t mind

Warnings: uhhh sympathetic deceit and remus

Word Count: 4804

 “How many masks of your own face are you currently wearing?”

 “At least four.”

Between the gloves, the cape, and the hat, there’s not an awful lot of Janus that is seen most of the time. Not that he particularly minds. There is a certain benefit that layers upon layers of clothing provides. One, they’re perfect for concealing his cane—the others always look so surprised when he summons it from nowhere. Two, he is Dark Side, thanks to Roman’s fantastic naming system. There is an aesthetic standard that must be met. What was he going to do, show up in some ratted old hoodie?

 Three, well—there is an awful lot to look at. If the others are focused on the clasps at his throat, the shock of the yellow gloves, the logo hidden under the black fabric, they’re not looking at him.

 If they were, they’d see his scales.

 He is the only side with a visible animal trait, after all. The scales cover the left side of his face, down beneath his collar. He doesn’t mind the stares—come on, it’s so easy to catch them off guard, how could he?—but sometimes he does wonder if they’ll ever get used to it.

  To him.

 The scales are a reminder. That he’s different. That he’s not like them. He’s not like the others, he doesn’t look like Thomas, at least not to the extent that they do. Thomas doesn’t have golden scales along the side of his face. Thomas doesn’t have a mouth that curves up along his cheek. Thomas doesn’t have a slit-eye pupil. No, no, Thomas is normal.

 How dreadful.

 Then, of course, there are the lies.

 ‘Deceit.’ Such a funny word. And so…polarizing.

 ‘Deceitful,’ ‘dishonest,’ ‘dastardly’—lot of ‘d’s, here, hmm?—all of the words that just mean he’s a liar. And lying must be bad, right? So it follows logically then, because we simply adore logic in this house, that he must be bad.

 He’s not to be trusted, he’s a liar. He’s not honest, he’s a liar. They have to double and triple-check everything he says because he’s a liar.

 They always conveniently seem to forget that you can always trust a dishonest person to be dishonest. It’s the truthful ones you have to watch out for.

 Janus knows he’s a liar. Frankly, he’s quite proud of it. He’s gotten very good at it too; twisting the words together just right in order to tug slightly at a heartstring there, block off just a little rationality there, get the job done. The others always get caught up in his words, too busy focusing on the minutia of it, the details, leaving him free to step around them and speak to Thomas.

 They see the gloves, they see the scales, they see the lies.

 They see the masks.

 Oh, sometimes he’ll put on a little bit more of a show if he needs to make a point, if the normal masks aren’t quite enough to get Thomas to listen. He’ll tie a hoodie around his shoulders, push a pair of glasses up his nose, knot a tie around his neck. Problem is…those ones are a little easier to see through. No matter how hard he tries, all of his disguises end up being a self-portrait.

 Which is how he ended up here.

 “You know the rules,” Patton says, his hands on his hips, “no impersonating others outside of filming!”

 Janus rolls his eyes and idly flicks a speck of dirt off one of his gloves. “Oh, please. You don’t want me to do it during filming either.”

 “No, I don’t, but we made a compromise, kiddo, now we both have to stick to it.”

 Janus raises an eyebrow. “Yes, I’m sure the others will be relieved to hear so.”

 “What have we said about impersonations?”

 He sighs. “The others may be idiots—“

 “Oi!”

 “—but idiots are also deserving of respect,” Janus finishes, glancing at Virgil draped over the back of the couch. “And I would never dream of being anything less than perfectly respectful.”

 Virgil snorts. “What do you even get out of it anyway?” He sits up a little straighter. “Wait, you haven’t been tricking Roman into telling you how to impersonate us better, have you?”

 “Now why would I do that?”

 “Janus!”

 “What? Like you don’t make a habit of going to the others for advice.”

 “There’s a difference between openly asking for it and tricking them into giving it to you.”

 Janus levels a stare at him. “I suppose there is, isn’t there?”

 “Hey!” Patton steps between them. “That’s enough.”

 “Oh, well—“ Janus makes a show of resettling his cape—“if you say so.”

 Patton sighs. “Janus, we are trying, okay? You heard Thomas, you’re…well, you’re more welcome now.”

 “And you’re doing a marvelous job of that.”

 Patton doesn’t quite deflate, but it’s close. “Well, maybe we could all try a little harder.” He gives Janus a pointed look.

 “Yes, I’m sure my efforts will be richly rewarded.”

 “Well, you could start by showing up as yourself more often.”

 “Myself?” Janus gasps theatrically, putting a gloved hand to his scales. “Who’s that?”

 “Dude,” Virgil sniggers—Virgil did always appreciate his sense of humor—“how many masks of your own face are you currently wearing”

 “At least four.”

 Patton lets him go with another verbal slap on the wrist and Virgil flips him off. Janus sinks out, striding down the hallway near his room. It’s quieter here. The walls hum a little less. He can think.

 He hadn’t gone to Roman to gets tips on his acting. He’d gone because Roman doesn’t want to talk to Janus.

 Janus, the liar. Janus, the manipulator. Janus, the Dark Side.

 Janus shuts the door of his room and instinctively slumps, the cape hanging off his shoulders. He knows Patton means well, and Virgil’s…Virgil, but sometimes it stings a little more than it should. Not that the others will ever see it.

 He’ll never forget the look on Thomas’s face when Logan said he was the side that acts with the one priority of self-preservation. Of how it instantly demonized the idea of protecting yourself. Of Thomas keeping himself safe.

 He looks at his hands, sees the gloves. They still don’t fit quite right, even after all these years. He can’t get the seams to run down the sides of the fingers, not curve around to the front or the back. It really shouldn’t be this difficult. Especially considering how much use he’s gotten out of them.

 Lying kept Thomas alive. It kept him safe. He helped keep Thomas safe. When Virgil couldn’t breathe, when Logan faltered, when Patton froze, Janus would quietly make his way over to Roman and whisper a suggestion. Just a suggestion. To lie. To keep Thomas safe. To get them out of here. And it saved them. So many times.

 Janus walks over to the mirror. It’s a fairly modest thing; about the size of a small sink, oval, large enough so he can see himself completely if he takes a few steps back. He ignores his own face and reaches for the golden latch on the side. He turns it.

 The cabinet swings open to reveal a dark velvet interior with several small podiums. Each has a thin mask laid atop it. They gleam in the low light of the room. Janus reaches out and carefully makes sure each is perfectly centered. As he does so, his gloves linger on the fine print beneath the podiums.

 Everyone has masks. Versions of themselves to present to the world when they need to. A mask that keeps you safe, a mask that keeps you alive, a mask that has the courage to speak when you don’t. The mask they wear around their homophobic relatives, the mask they wear when they need to make a phone call, the mask they wear when they need to pretend they’re something they’re not.

 Janus is very, very good at making masks.

 He never wears these. These are for Thomas. When Thomas needs help, Janus slips one of these out of the cabinet and sets it on the desk in front of the mirror. He looks at it, then at the mirror, and works. These masks are what helps Thomas.

 He shuts the cabinet with a decisive click, suddenly confronted with his own face.

Janus is so good at making masks that he doesn’t even need a mask to wear one.

 A mask because you’re the bad guy. A mask because you can never be trusted. A mask because when you try to be vulnerable they won’t listen. A mask because they don’t want you, they want the character that you embody to survive.

 He pities the others sometimes. They don’t have these masks and they hurt. They can’t distance themselves, pull away just a little more, embody a role so that when it’s over, when they’re safe again, they can take it off and breathe. But they don’t. So they just get hurt. Over and over and over.

 Janus’s lips involuntarily curl up into a snarl. The hand on the mirror closes into a fist.

 They’re not supposed to get hurt. That’s not how this is supposed to work.

 He’s not supposed to hurt them.

 Part of him argues that he has to. If he keeps working the way he’s been working he can get right to Thomas, who is who needs the most protection. If he tries to do it their way they risk Thomas getting hurt and Janus won’t have that.

 Part of him whispers that this is good for them. If he can make them a little tougher, help them get thicker skin, they’ll be safer. And then it won’t matter if they hate him. They’ll be safe. That’s all he cares about.

 The rest of him—

 …well, the rest of him is currently the reason he’s having trouble looking in the mirror right now.

 The problem with wearing so many masks is that it becomes harder and harder to figure what’s the mask and what’s not. And he’s gotten so good at making them that now…now he doesn’t have to think about it.

 A mask for when Logan asks to debate about philosophy. A mask for when Remus wants him to help him and Roman make something new. A mask for when Patton wants to bake. A mask for when Virgil comes to him for help.

 A mask for all of them. A mask for none of them.

 Janus doesn’t want to wear the masks all the time. He wants them to be warm, to care, to smile when he comes into the room, or even ask where he is. He wants to laugh as Patton smears batter all over his nose accidentally. He wants to listen to Logan ramble about some new advancement in quantum gravity. He wants Virgil to come plop down next to him while everyone else is in the living room. He wants Remus to stay with him while they watch the others get into ridiculous fights over board games. He wants Roman to not be afraid to come talk to him.

 He wants.

 Janus is selfish.

 But he isn’t stupid.

 He knows they don’t want him. He knows they don’t want him, even without the masks. Deep down, he knows they don’t need him either.

 But Thomas does.

 So here Janus will stay, in the dark, in the cold, wearing too many masks of his own face to keep count.

—————————————————————

The Mindscape is cold. It never quite feels solid. Drafts blow in and out of the walls, through the little gaps in the floor, from places that Janus can’t find, no matter how many times he looks for them. He bundles himself up in his cloak and his hat and does his best to hold still, sink in as much warmth as he can. He sneaks up behind the others, pressing himself up near them, purring in their ears, just to snatch their body heat. They always shove him away with flustered protests and blushy little faces. They’re so adorable.

 Plus, he knows that’s all he’s ever really going to get from them.

 But he’s cold, goddamnit. Why do they keep the air conditioning so high in this house? Snakes are cold-blooded. They get slow. Lethargic. Hypothermic, if it gets very bad.

 Janus can’t afford to be slow.

 So he wears his gloves, his cape, his hat. He stands opposite the window so he can get the most sunlight. He finds the patches of warmth where none of the others will find him and he can curl up for the warmth he needs...

 …and fine, maybe it’s a little more than just being cold.

 The others are…touchy. Patton throws his arm around just about everyone. Bumps his hip against theirs. Pats their shoulders, squeezes their hands, kisses their cheeks. Roman sweeps people into his arms, pulls them in for hugs, keeps an arm around their waists for as long as he’s allowed. Remus can and will just tackle whoever he wants. Logan holds himself a little further away, but even he’ll lay a comforting hand on someone’s arm. Janus will admit he was shocked when Virgil started exhibiting spider characteristics. That Side is a cat and you will not convince him otherwise. And everyone knows if a cat falls asleep on you, you’re not allowed to move until it wakes up.

 Not that Virgil has fallen asleep on him recently.

 Janus is not too proud to admit that at first, he didn’t want their touches. He had a job to do, he didn’t need to be distracted. But now…now he does.

 He sees the way they move around each other and it stings. The accidental brushes he gets from standing too close or when they aren’t thinking about it sear through layers and layers of clothing to burn into his skin. When he stays close to them—close, but not too close—his whole side begins to tingle, reaching for them, their warmth, for them. But now it’s too late. His mask is already firmly in place and they know Deceit hates being touched.

 That’s another reason for the layers. For the gloves.

 Janus knows that if they ever touch him directly, skin to skin, his mask will shatter. And that is too dangerous to risk. With his gloves, his cape, his hat, his masks, the only way that would happen is if one of them tried to touch his face.

 And that is certainly very likely indeed.

 The clothes give him a barrier. A last line of defense. No touch is better than unexpected touch.

 But that doesn’t stop him from being cold.

 He can tell it’s going to happen when he can’t quite close his fingers around the end of his staff in the middle of their conversation. His gloves don’t catch on the wood quite right and he has to fumble to grab it properly. He glances up. No one’s looking at him.

  Are they ever?

 He tucks his hands smoothly out of sight, frantically burrowing them into his cloak to see if they’ll warm up. He locks his knees. No good. His fingers start to hurt as he flexes them. They’re still not moving faster. It’s cold.

 He glances at the clock. Two minutes. He can last two minutes. Or so he thinks, until his jaw starts to clench. He clenches it harder, ignoring the protest from his neck, his shoulders, trying to make it stop. He takes a deep slow breath and tries to relax, to stop his muscles from tensing. It works, barely.

 One minute.

 His hands aren’t responding properly. He can barely move his fingers. He just needs to get out of here. If he gets out of here he can get warm. He has his electric blanket, he has everything he needs. He just needs to leave.

 Thirty seconds.

 The conversation draws to a close and Janus nods deeply, tossing one last barb over his shoulder as he sinks out, only to collapse in the hallway as soon as he does. A draft flows out right next to his shoulder, freezing fingers dancing up his arm, along the back of his neck, diving into his collar to snatch more of his warmth. He curses, heaves himself to his feet, and makes it to his room. It’s so cold.

 Something tugs in his chest. No, no—!

 “I suppose there must be a good reason for summoning me back,” Janus drawls, snapping his gloves right back into place as he appears in the living room.

 Patton and Virgil stare back at him. Patton fidgets with his hands. “W-well, we, uh, I had a question for you.”

 Damn. “Well.” Janus spreads his arms, trying to play off how slow he’s moving for dramatic effect. “I’m here. Ask away.”

 “I, uh, a few days ago you mentioned that you didn’t feel as welcome here.” Patton looks at him with such an expression of sincerity that it makes Janus’s tongue itch. “And I wanted to know what I could do to help.”

 “Aren’t you sweet?”

 Patton won’t be deterred, it seems. He stares at Janus, resolute as ever. It’s so cold in here he’s going to start slurring in a moment.

 “Janus?”

 “That is my name, yes.”

 “Are you…are you feeling alright?”

 Janus gestures to himself, movements growing slower by the second. “I’m right here, aren’t I?”

 Slow. Too slow.

 Patton frowns. He gives him a look. “You don’t seem like you normally are, are you sure?”

 “I am entirely in one piece.”

 “That doesn’t answer my question.”

 “Honey, if you’re looking for a straight answer, I’m afraid you’re looking in the wrong place.”

 Virgil moves. Right, Virgil was here too. Janus is slow. Too slow. He can’t move. He can’t get away. His mask forms a bored expression on his face, quirking an eyebrow. Virgil approaches him and holds out a hand. A cold part of Janus’s chest leaps.

 The lips of the mask part. “And what exactly do you intend to do with that?”

 “This,” Virgil mutters, and cups the side of Janus’s face.

 Everything stops.

 Distantly, he feels Virgil’s hand leave his face. Hears something about being too cold. Sees a blur of blue rush away. But all he can focus on is—

  Warm. Virgil touched you. Warm. Warm. So warm. Keep the mask on. Don’t let the mask slip. Warm. If the mask slips everything will be ruined. Warm. Don’t you remember how to take the mask off? Virgil. Patton. Warm.

 “Janus? Janus!”

 Janus blinks. Virgil is still standing in front of him. There’s a little wrinkle between his brows. The mask is frozen in place, iced into a neutral expression.

 “Hey,” Virgil says quietly, “you’re freezing, bud. You gotta get warm.”

 Janus can’t speak. The mask is so cold.

 “You remember what happens when you get too cold,” Virgil continues, taking a step closer. Janus can’t move. Virgil’s frown deepens and he tilts his head. “What’s going on, Janus, you don’t normally let it get this bad.”

  Yes, Virgil, we’re aware.

 “You could’ve asked, dude,” Virgil says, taking another step closer, a little exasperation mingling with the concern, “any of us.”

 The mask smirks. Barely. “Yes, because I’m sure everyone would be so willing to cuddle me so I could steal their body heat.”

 “You don’t know that.” The mask doesn’t move. Virgil glances over his shoulder. When he speaks next, his voice is lowered to a whisper.

 “You don’t have to keep that on right now, Jan,” he says quietly, “it’s okay. It’s just me. I know you. You can…you know. Emote and stuff.”

 Janus huffs a laugh. It’s weak. 

 “You ever wear a mask so long you forget how to take it off?”

 Vigil pauses. “Huh?”

 “Ever pretended to be something for so long you forget which is real and which isn’t?” Janus’s smile turns sad. “Made yourself believe it too?”

 Virgil’s eyes close for a second. When he opens them, the concern in his gaze takes the last of the warm breath from Janus’s lungs. “Does this have anything to do with…?” He waves in Janus’s direction.

 Janus nods, slowly, so slowly. “I can’t. Because I’ve been…I’ve been trained out of it. I built my masks to hide behind. And now I can’t take them off.”

 “And we haven’t been good about helping you do that, huh.” He sounds so tired. He’s been through so much…

 “I’m…”

 The mask won’t let him apologize.

  Like they would ever accept it.

 “No, no,” Virgil says, “don’t apologize. You aren’t to blame for what you’ve been put through.”

  Oh, Virgil…

 Virgil glances over his shoulder. Then he shakes his head. “Just…look, go.”

 “What?”

 “I know this isn’t the time to talk about stuff. You’re not in any sort of shape to do that and Patton will understand. Go get warm.” He gives Janus a pointed look. “You take care of yourself first, okay?”

 He tries. He goes back to his room and buries himself in blankets, in pillows, in more layers than he can stand. The pressure is good but it’s still so cold. The weight of the electric blanket is nothing compared to the warmth of Virgil’s hand. Everything in here smells sterile, clinical, detached. It’s all so cold.

  You take care of yourself.

 The last sentence rings through his head late at night. He wants. But everyone’s probably asleep by now, and god knows they need to sleep. Surely it’ll be alright if he just goes to the living room? That’s not too far, right?

 There’s a fire going in the fireplace—since when did they have a fireplace? And there’s someone sitting on the couch. Hmm. Maybe if…if he’s quiet, if he doesn’t make too much noise, he can slip in and soak up some of the warmth. 

 Virgil turns around.

 “Hey, Janus,” he murmurs, standing, and comes over to him. “Can’t sleep?”

 Janus shakes his head. It’s warm in here, but he’s still cold. Virgil can see that, apparently.

 “Here,” he says, handing him a cup of tea that appeared out of thin air, “drink. It’ll warm you up.”

 Janus takes it cautiously. Isn’t it Virgil’s? There’s no way Virgil would’ve know Janus was coming…right?

 “This is my third one, figure I should let you catch up first.”

 He gestures to the couch, an encouraging smile on his lips.

 “Sit. C’mon”

 Janus does, sinking into the plush couch and cradling the warm mug in his hands. The couch groans as Virgil sits next to him. He can feel Virgil just out of reach, just there…

 “I like watching the fire,” comes a low voice from next to him as he sips the tea. “Helps me think. Or stop thinking.”

 He keeps talking in that low voice and the warm tea flows through Janus, sapping the cold slowly away from his body.

 Distantly, he feels someone steering him down onto the couch, and heavy arms around him.

 “Or maybe you just need a cuddle. Go to sleep, Janus.”

—————————————————————

 “ — stop twitching, Remus! You’ll make a mistake!”

 “Stop tugging his arm all over the place and then you won’t.”

 “Will you two pipe the fuck down? You’re gonna wake him up.”

 “Says the loudmouth!”

 “Roman, stop it.”

 “Stop moving his arm!”

 What is…? He’s lying on something. It’s warm, really warm. It smells like…coffee, makeup, and…cinnamon? He shifts slightly, and oh he slept on his neck wrong. A low groan escapes his throat.

 His pillow stiffens. “Shit. He’s awake.”

 “Good going, Remus.”

 “You were the one yelling!”

 “Shut the fuck up, both of you.” The chest underneath him vibrates. “Shh, snake-face, go back to sleep. You’re alright. Go back to sleep.”

 Janus shifts again, trying to look around, but he’s held down by another strong arm. A hand cards itself through his hair—where’s his hat? “Shh, be still, buddy, you’re okay. Can’t we get you back to sleep?”

 “What…’s going on?” His tongue feels heavy, swelling up in his mouth.

 “I believe the chances of getting him back to sleep will increase if you tell him what you’re doing.”

 It’s…Logan? He appears, fuzzy but definitely there, over the back of the couch. Janus tries to turn to make it easier to see him but his right arm is pinned and he can’t move—

 “Easy, J, easy, shh, shh, you’re okay, you’re safe, just keep your arm nice and still, okay?” Virgil, it’s Virgil he’s lying on, runs his hand through his hair again. “I’m pretty sure Roman would pitch a fit.”

 “Hah.” Roman snorts from somewhere close to the ground. “If this got ruined, yours would be too.”

 “If you hadn’t insisted on going last,” Remus says, “this wouldn’t’ve been an issue.”

 And then he feels it. Something is drawn sharply across his right wrist.

 “Shh, shh, Janus, breathe, breathe, you’re okay, damnit, Princey, stop! You’re making him freak out!”

 It’s gone, the contact is gone. His arm is still hanging over the edge of the couch but it’s held there by Virgil’s arm and another hand.

 “Hey there, Snakey.” Remus appears over Virgil’s shoulder. “You’re okay. We’re just making sure you’re okay.”

 Roman snorts. “There’s something wrong with how you phrased that.”

 Then suddenly Patton appears out of nowhere and doesn’t surprise him at all. Luckily, or unluckily, Janus is far too exhausted and disoriented to react more than rucking up the fabric of Virgil’s hoodie a little. Patton looks at the couch.

 “There isn’t room, Pop-star,” Virgil says, lazily stretching so his bulk takes up all of it, moving slow enough so Janus isn’t jostled too much. Then Virgil yelps and their lower bodies are lifted and he can feel the couch sag under another body.

 “What the hell, Pat.”

 “Now there’s room.” Patton reaches up and ruffles Virgil’s hair.

 There are so many people and it’s warm but why are they all here? Did he miss something? Does he need to leave?

 “Looks good,” Patton says, interrupting his train of thought, “it’s coming along well.”

 Logan clears his throat. “Would someone like to inform Janus about what exactly ‘this’ is?”

 “Oh, right, sorry, Snakey,” Remus says, crouching back down, “let’s show you.”

 Virgil turns over slowly, lifting his arm and using the leverage to shift Janus onto his chest. “Jeez, Janus, you’re light. Patton, have we been feeding him enough?”

 “I suspect there’s been a lack of communication, kiddo.”

 “Now is not the time to yell at him, Patton,” Logan says quietly.

 “I’m not yelling! But yes, now is not the time.”

 Virgil coaxes his head to one side, and Roman lifts his arm by the back of his hand.

 Janus’s mouth drops open.

 There are little animals drawn on his right arm, from his wrist to his elbow. There’s a navy cat, simple and clean, near the vein. A light blue frog with little glasses. A purple and black spider. A green octopus with large black tentacles. And an unfinished red dragon right near his wrist.

 “If I could finish,” Roman asks softly.

 “Alright, calm down, here.” Remus lowers his arm and holds it steady. Roman puts the brush back to his arm and starts painting again. Virgil and Remus start arguing about something, probably, but he can’t focus on anything besides the soft bristles of the brush on his arm, the rumble of Virgil’s chest, and the warmth of the weight on his legs.

 Logan stands behind his head. “You don’t need to wear a mask here, Janus,” he says softly, “not unless you want to.”

 No one else hears him except for Patton. He gives Janus’s leg a squeeze.

 It’s warm. It’s so warm.

 He wants to watch as Roman paints the dragon but he’s tired but he doesn’t want to sleep yet…not just yet.

 Patton reaches towards his face. His finger lands on his forehead and drags gently down the bridge of his nose.

 What…?

 Oh.

 As he follows his touch, Janus’s eyes drift closed.

 It’s so warm.

 And a warm hand on his cheek wipes the last of the mask away.

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[beauty-and-passion]

Thoughts on the bloops?

Sure:

-Roman almost falling from the bike cracked me up. And then, I laughed even more at his: ”You think you know someone then damn!, I messed up my line!”. This man is just adorable.

-Patton saying they’re all an angsy teen at heart and then Thomas saying he’s always Virgil are a great way to confirm that the Sides are always present - especially the emo boi.

-This. Just this.

-Janus is always iconic and his bloops are even more iconic. The "Virgiiiiil" from SvS i so beautiful I keep replacing the original line with this one. Now we have even more iconic scenes, with him doing the middle finger to everyone and not revealing his name. He. Is. An. Icon.

-We learned a lot of very serious stuff about Remus: he hates disco and Thomas’ fresh moves. He has a religious kink (”I’m a bad little catholic”) and of course he has, why was I even surprised.

Also, I want a full Remus ASMR channel, in which he can whisper all kind of stupid stuff. It would be hilarious and scary and I need it in my life.

-Nico saying “Hi, Thomas! :D” is the cutest thing ever and I will watch that moment in loop 5ever.

-Speaking of ships, we got the first canonical kiss, people! How can we all ignore THIS?

Move aside, Pintroverts. The first, canonical couple of this show finally shared a kiss in canon. We should celebrate!

-Still speaking of ships, Moceit is canon for the fifth time and every time is more hilarious than the last. Thank you, Thomas, for the great material I will definitely not watch in loop and for confirming/not confirming my headcanon that Patton and Janus have a great sex life.

-I adore how innocently Thomas says "the nude erection?" and then goes on with that line. He’s a silly idiot and I love him for this.

-More bloopers, Mr. Sanders. We need free serotonin.

[kiapet2]

The Heaviness We’ve Known

Patton had a lot of ideas for what he might do for his weekend by himself, but having his ex-husband’s son show up on his doorstep sure wasn’t one of them.

Pairings: Parental Moxiety, Divorced Moceit, Parental Anxceit

Word Count: 2016

Warnings: None

Crossposting this to Tumblr since there seems to be a good Sanders Sides fanfic community here.

AO3 Link

Patton had a lot of ideas for what he might do for his weekend by himself, but having his ex-husband’s son show up on his doorstep sure wasn’t one of them.

It was supposed to be a quiet night, just Patton and his empty house. It’s the twins’ week with Janus, which wouldn’t be so bad except that Logan is off at another one of his conferences. Patton knows they’re a great opportunity and all- especially considering the university usually pays for them- but do there really need to be so many?

But Patton should support his little brother’s career, so he told Logan it was fine, he’d just watch rom-coms and catch up on sleep. He’s settled in to do just that when he is interrupted by the hammering at his door.

“Hey,” Virgil says when the door opens, giving a lopsided smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Can I come in?”

Patton blinks. “Oh, um, of course,” he says, and Virgil barely waits for the response before he’s stalking past Patton and into the house.

It seems like every time Patton sees Virgil the boy has shot up another few inches. His hair, purple this time, is half-hidden under a hoodie pulled up against the spring night’s chill, and as Patton watches he heaves a bulging backpack off one shoulder and onto the foyer floor.

“Virgil,” Patton says, “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? Janus never told me he was going to-”

“He didn’t bring me,” Virgil snaps, kicking his shoes off with more force than seems necessary. His socks are mismatched, as if put on in a hurry. “I came here myself.”

“You walked all the way here?” Patton says. “Virgil, that’s not safe.”

“I took a bus.” Virgil flops down onto the stairs. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m fine.”

Patton opens his mouth to argue, but a closer look at Virgil makes him hesitate. The boy is slumped against the wall, his hand rubbing up and down his arm as if trying to soothe himself. Virgil isn’t one to risk something like this for no reason- whatever happened, it must have seriously freaked him out.

Patton sinks down to the stairs next to him.

“Talk to me,” he says softly.

Virgil turns his face to the wall. “I just- I can’t stay there anymore, alright? I can’t. ”

“At home?”

Virgil nods.

Patton shifts so he’s kneeling in front of Virgil and places a hand on his knee.

“Virgil, could you look at me for a moment?”

Virgil nervously turns to face him, and Patton meets his eyes.

“I’m going to ask you something, and I need you to be completely honest with me, alright?”

Virgil nods again, his eyes widening.

“Did your dad hurt you in any way?”

Virgil reels back in shock. “What? No!”

Patton feels his shoulders sag in relief, and he sits heavily back down on the stairs.

“Okay. That’s- that’s good.”

Virgil runs a hand through his hair.

“Look, it wasn’t anything like that. I just... we were arguing again and I couldn’t stand it anymore so I just packed up my things and- and left. And I’m not going back. I want to stay with you.”

His voice cracks at the last part, and for a moment Patton has a flash of the Virgil he first met all those years ago- a timid, gap-toothed little thing who had glared at Patton fiercely from behind his father’s leg. It had taken all of two seconds for the kiddo to lodge himself securely into Patton’s heart; the whole step-dad thing hadn’t seemed to matter, back then.

Then his marriage fell apart, and suddenly it mattered a whole heck of a lot.

“Kiddo...” Patton says, pained.

Virgil jumps to his feet. “Look, I won’t be, like, obnoxious or anything, all I really do is listen to music in my room anyways, and I know taking care of a kid is fu- is freaking expensive but I can get a job and I babysit the little terrors all the time so I can do that here and-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Patton says, knees creaking as he also stands, “None of that. I’d love to have you live here. But I’m not sure Janus would approve.”

Virgil scowls. “He can go choke for all I care. I’ll never know what the hell someone like you saw in that bastard. ” He spits the last word out, eyes flashing.

“Now kiddo,” Patton admonishes, “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but there’s no need to use that kind of language. He is still your father.”

Patton knows it’s the wrong thing to say when Virgil’s face shutters closed, shoulders hunching as he draws back into his hoodie.

“Whatever Dad, if I wanted a lecture I would’ve stayed home.”

Patton holds back a flinch at the mocking title. Virgil doesn’t mean it, he reminds himself. The kiddo’s just having a hard time right now, and Patton’s the nearest target.

He forces a smile onto his face. “Well, this is a cookie situation if ever I saw one. Gimme a sec.”

Patton goes into the kitchen and grabs his cookie tin, the one Virgil used to teasingly call his “old person box”. He brings the tin into the living room along with a jug of milk and some glasses, laying everything out on the coffee table.

A slight smile pulls at the corner of Virgil’s mouth as he runs a hand over the tin. “I didn’t know you still had this”.

“Of course!” Patton says seriously. “Cookies are a vital part of any household.”

He nudges the tin closer to Virgil, giving him a wink. “Go ahead, take as many as you want. I won’t tell on you.”

Patton keeps up a steady stream of idle chatter as he and Virgil drink milk and eat more cookies than is probably healthy. Finally Virgil lays the cookie he’s nibbling down and glares at it like it’s the source of all his problems.

“You’re going to tell my dad, aren’t you.” It isn’t a question.

Patton sighs. “I’ve got to, kiddo.”

He holds up a hand to forestall Virgil’s protest. “I know you’re not on good terms with him right now, but he’s still your legal guardian. Keeping you here without his okay is kidnapping, and I’d rather not lose our visits.”

Patton can see Virgil’s shoulders rising nearly to his ears, the boy retreating into himself despite all of Patton’s efforts to draw him out.

Patton smiles again in what he hopes is a comforting expression.

“I’ll just call and talk to him, alright? We’ll try to work something out.” And maybe Janus will be able to tell him what the heck is actually going on.

He reaches forward to pat Virgil’s shoulder, freezing and withdrawing when Virgil pulls away from the touch.

“Why don’t you finish your milk and cookies, alright? I’ll be quick.”

Patton carries his own glass back into the kitchen and then reluctantly pulls out his cell phone. The number isn’t in his contacts, but he still knows it by heart.

“Hello?” a familiar voice says after the first ring.

“I have something of yours,” Patton says.

Janus hums, nonchalant. “I take it Virgil arrived safely then?”

It’s been a while, but Patton still recognizes Janus emotionally deflecting when he hears it. He puts on his Dad Voice, perfected over years of dealing with the twins.

“What’s going on here, Janus?”

A sigh. “There’s been a... slight disagreement.”

Patton runs a hand down his face. “I take it he ran away? I can take him back, but first let me-”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Janus says flatly.

“Please tell me you didn’t throw him out.”

“Of course not!” Janus hisses. “You of all people should know I would never.”

“Of course I do,” Patton says, “But what am I supposed to think here, Jan? Nothing about this situation looks good.”

Janus sighs again, heavier this time. “I’m aware.”

Patton waits as the line goes silent, Janus clearly thinking over his next words. Finally he says, smooth and matter-of-fact,

“Virgil has made it quite clear that I am a terrible excuse for a parent and living with you would be preferable to our current arrangement in every way.”

His voice takes on a bitter edge. “It must be comfortingly easy to idolize someone when you only see them at their best.”

Patton’s stomach drops. “Janus, I’m so sorry, I never meant to-”

“Oh, do be quiet.” Patton can almost hear Janus’ dismissive hand wave. “It’s hardly your fault he’s behaving like a naïve child.”

Patton winces at that.

“Nevertheless, while I absolutely adore Virgil’s current actions, he’s old enough to make the choice of guardians for himself. Of course, if you are unable or unwilling to provide for him I will pick him up immediately, but-”

A note of vulnerability creeps into his voice. “I think this might be what he needs, right now.”

Patton’s heart clenches.

“Of course,” he says softly. “He can stay as long as he wants.”

Janus lets out a relieved breath. “Thank you.”

“Janus,” Patton says hesitantly, “I’m not entirely sure what’s going on, and I know it’s not really my place, but, if you need someone to talk to...”

“That won’t be necessary,” Janus says, and it’s the sound of a wall slamming back into place. “Virgil should have an overnight bag with a change of clothes and his anxiety medication. I’ll bring over the rest of his things tomorrow.”

Patton closes his eyes against a familiar pain. “Alright. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“I guess you will.”

The silence stretches between them, raw and gaping.

Then, so quiet Patton almost thinks he imagined it: “Take care of him?”

Patton smiles sadly. “With everything I have.”

“Thank you, Patton.”

The line goes dead.

Patton leans his head against the wall for a moment and lets himself breathe. He turns when he hears Virgil’s footsteps, hastily scrubbing at his eyes and putting on a bright smile.

“Looks like you’ll be living here for a bit, kiddo! You can stay in Logan’s room for now.”

“I’m sure he’ll be happy about that,” Virgil quips, smiling slightly as he tries and fails to feign cool nonchalance. He looks so much like his father that Patton nearly bursts into tears again.

He winks instead. “That’s what he gets for going off sailing!”

Virgil raises one eyebrow. “Sailing?”

Patton grins. “You know, since he has that scholar-ship!”

Virgil’s smile comes out completely and he quickly covers it with one hand, only managing to make himself look more adorable in the process.

“Guess I’ll move my stuff up, then,” he says, grabbing his bag and dashing up the stairs.

“Don’t touch the chemistry sets!” Patton calls after him.

This could be good for both of them, Patton thinks, smiling as he hears Virgil rummaging above. The house has seemed so much emptier since his baby brother went and grew up on him- not that Logan hasn’t always acted like someone ten years Patton’s senior, he thinks fondly. And of course, any time he gets to spend with Virgil is a blessing.

Virgil’s footsteps are slower coming down the stairs, and they come to a halt as he reaches the bottom and nervously meets Patton’s gaze.

“So... what happens now?”

“What happens now is that I’m ordering pizza and then we’re watching a movie,” Patton says, holding up his phone. “What toppings do you want?”

Virgil’s nervous expression resolves into a smirk. “Hawaiian.”

“Heresy, from my own stepson!” Patton gasps, letting a hand fly to his breast.

Virgil snickers, and this time he doesn’t pull away when Patton closes the distance between them and draws him into a hug. He’s so much taller than Patton remembers, but despite everything he's still Patton’s little boy.

“It’s gonna be alright, kiddo,” Patton whispers. “I’m here for you.”

Virgil’s arms tighten around him.

“I know, Dad. I know.”

[panicatthehottopical]

Ever After High & Sanders Sides

Roman as Apple White (maybe Daring Charming but I think Apple works better for him)

Virgil as Raven Queen or Cerise Hood- doesnt want to be evil/is mysterious and has a big secret/ both are sarcastic and spitfires

Patton as Ashlyn Ella (Cupid would prob fit too)- incredibly sweet and wants everyone to be happy, loves animals

Logan as Rosabella Beauty? I think Giles Grim would probablysuit him best? (Frog Prince too just cuz it would be adorable to see him get flustered and turn into a frog)- the first 2 cuz he’s smart. Rosabella is a little too emotionally oriented, I think, for him but he is also kindhearted just like her & 3rd character cuz I’m a simp (ooo and Dexter charming kinda fits- nice and nerdy and a lil awkward)

Janus as Kitty Cheshire or Ramona Badwolf (especially if Virgil was Cerise) or Duchess Swan- all mischievous troublemakersin some way, shape, or form. Complete Slytherin energy. Duchess is just trying to get a different princess to stray from her story~ so that Duchess has a chance of taking her story so that she doesn’t die in Duchess’s assigned story aka completely self preservation minded

Remus as Sparrow Hood- Chaotic & annoys people kinda on purpose but isn’t a bad person

How they would work as dynamics:

Roman & Virgil as Apple & Raven- butt heads a LOT and kinda despise eachother cuz Roman wants Virgil to be evil so that his story isn’t in jeopardy but Virgil doesn’t want to be bad (the whole premis of the show is that if the children of fairy tale characters don’t live out the same stories as their parents something bad might happen ((no one knows what would happen cuz it’s unheard of to go against ur story)) so like Apple, the daughter of Snow White, is destined to be poisoned by Raven, the daughter of the evil queen. (Royals want to continue the tradition of carrying oht stories cuz they’re afraid of what would happen otherwise & they have a good ending/ good story/ stuff that happens to them that they dont mind while Rebels want change and have abstory they’re rebelling against)

But a fair amount of characters don’t want to live out the stories of their parents because:

They are in love with someone and don’t want to be forced to marry someone else

They don’t want to die

They don’t want a rly bad thing to happen to them

They dont want to hurt anyone

They don’t want to loose their friends

They want the entire government’s system to change-to not force every child to live through the same story and follow the same rules because their family broke the rules and the parents of this character are the hero and the villian from their story and if anyone found out with the current status of the world, their family would be torn apart

You know, that kinda thing

Virgil and Janus as Cerise and Ramona- bad blood between them even though they’re family & have history. Both daughters of Redriding Hood and the Bad Wolf (which is unknown to the world)- one meant to be the protagonist, Cerise/Virgil and one meant to ‘ruin’ the other’s life Ramona/ Janus

Janus/ Duchess & Remus/ Sparrow- Duchess kinda uses Sparrow as like her little assistant in her plots. Sparrow is chill with it sometimes (he doesn’t have to do much & sometimes he gets to do something he wants to) but other times he’s less then cooperative. And whenever they work together half of his fun comes from annoying her from his guitar playing & singing and stuff

Roman as Daring & Logan as Rosabella= Logince rights. Daring is egotistical but kind, his character gets rly good development and when he’s at a bit of a low point- Rosabella reassures him and admits that she’s impressed about something (u’ll have to see the show for that)

Honestly the characters have so much chemistry whether or not they are romantically attracted to each other which is sweet and also makes shipping awesome (there’s also a surprising amount of angst in this show too.. and pining)

What different parings each ships would be

Duchess & Ashlyn- Moceit (Patt x Janus)

Apple & Raven- Prinxiety rights (Roman &Virgil)

Duchess & Sparrow- Dukeceit (Remus x janus)

Raven & Dexter- Analogical (Logic & anxiety)

Raven & Maddie Hatter- kinda Dukexiety (Remus & anxiety) only way more PG rated and more random craziness from Maddie than disgusting craziness

Ashlyn & Hunter- Not quite Logicality since hunter doesn’t fit Logan but incredibly soft and domestic, despite their struggles, like Logicality

Rosabella & Daring- Logince

It’s actually kinda crazy how well these ships/different relationships fit the characters plzzz watch Ever After High, it’s free- just look it up <3

[starlocked01]

Sanders Sides Asks!

Crofter's, Am I Original?, Flirting with social anxiety ☺️

!! ^_^

Crofter's- Favorite Song:

In Sanders Sides, Forbidden Fruit. Remus kicking the others around is so much fun!

In general, I just discovered Brother by Gerard Way and it messes me up so bad 🤍

Am I Original?- Which side do you most resemble:

Hmm let's see.

Former Gifted Student who lost 95% of their edge once I graduated college ✅

Pedantic and Self important despite ridiculous geeky interests including Star Trek and Podcasts ✅

Only funny in hyperspecific situations, tries too hard to make jokes that don't land, and only ever falls into puns situationally or accidentally ✅

Reads Sherlock Fanfiction ✅

Wears glasses ✅

Guess I'm Logan now

Flirting w/ Social Anxiety- favorite ship in Sanders Side:

Let me take a moment of your time to tell you about Dukexiety... because I adore them! In canon, all we have to go on is a few threats, heated glares, and a mysterious Past from when Virgil was a Dark Side. It's so clear how easily Remus gets under Virgil’s skin, and I will admit that it's hard to see how that could ever have been a thing. See, in canon there's a really good vein of a deep platonic relationship and I love it. They have similar interests (only two sides with MCR on their official playlists) and generally both have similar functions for Thomas.

And in aus, its like they were made for each other. Both edgy and dramatic, fight like an old married couple but so much room for softness... ngl I'm not a fan of other fans constantly relegating them to the nsfw/kink pairing but well that's their problem, not mine. I just love Virgil and Remus 💜💚

Honorable Mentions go to Intrulogical, Analogical, Dukeality, and Moceit because those are also fun to explore different concepts. They're just not quite as much my boys as Dukexiety

[oh-theatre]

Livin’ It Up: Chapter 3

Chapter title: Its All Coming Back To Me Now

A/N: New, bad, sorry. Comment? Sorry for short, important.

words: 1340

summary: return 

pairings: Eventual logicality, eventual prinxiety, eventual demus, eventual Moceit (Which then goes back to Logicality and Demus)

warnings: Swearing, alcohol, underage drinking, drinking, parties, kissing, throw up, slight self harm, emotional abuse

Ao3 Link  

“Ugh of course he did” Virgil sighs, throwing his journal across the room. Patton giggles still scribbling away at his homework. Virgil sits up, rubbing the nape of his neck with sympathy in his eyes. “Im sorry Pat, i know you wanted...not that”

“Hey its ok! I gave it a shot, plus the night I had was fun” Patton admits, he shrugs away his thoughts but finds himself doodling in the corner of his calculus work. “This is pointless” He shut his book away, returning it neatly to its spot on his desk. “My brain cant focus” He threw his eraser towards Virgil “Tell me about Roman” He smirks.

“Ok look nothings happened since the party” Virgil tells, and Patton listens, well until Virgil begins to ramble about their theatre project. His mind was in too many places at once, and he loved Virgil but once his gushing ended and his worries set in, Patton couldn't focus. His mind wandered to that fateful night, under the amber lights of a bustling evening.

“But they're so sticky” Logan scrunched his face, watching Patton thank the shop tender for his caramel apple. Patton rolls his eyes with a playful smile.

“Delicious is the word you're looking for” He corrects, Logan still doubtful. “Come on, take a bite” he offers, holding it up. Hesitant at first, Logan eyes it, was he examining the apple? Oh god, the way his glasses sat on his nose practically falling, Patton swears he could hear his heartbeat.

“Alright” He says, he holds his glasses, Patton strengthens his hold as Logan takes a bite out of the delectable treat. Logan's eyes quickly fly open, a surprise as he chews.

“Congrats Moreno! You're one of us common folk now” Patton teases, the wind ruffling both of their hair. Logan nods, taking yet another bite, Patotn didn't mind, he found the small chipmunk like chewing adorable. “Come on Simon, there's more to show you” He jokes, Logan takes his hand allowing the cheerleader to guide him. The apple was gone quickly but neither minded, it made their commute easier.

Patton had to wonder if Logan had ever been outside however, every little new thing sparked him, the bored robotic look in his eyes disappeared with a new flicker of excitement. Patton adored it. He grew fond of how Logan would fiddle with his fingers, it was soft.

“Just ignore them” Logan whispered as the pair walked towards a more quiet spot.

“Hm?” Patton hummed in response, a small skip as the gravel crackled below their feet.

“The girls and guys staring, just ignore them” And Patton had been. It was hard not to notice, each with daggers in their eyes but even if tonight was just a one time thing, or whatnot Patton was here to enjoy himself, enjoy the carnival he had spent weeks preparing and try something new. And it was nice, even if he did notice the winks Logan would throw out, the boredom as Patton chatted with people and the constant phone checking.

Its nice

It was nice

“So now im like i don't know! Should I dye my hair!” Virgil finishes, Patton coughs away his thoughts.

“I might have adhd but you can really go down a rabbit hole” Patton laughs, Virgil chuckles a flash of red on his cheeks. “Not a bad thing, and i think you should dye your hair if you want. No matter what you're gonna look great” Patton compliments. “Crap! We’re gonna be late” He checks his watch, morning homework sessions on monday were a usual. Except when they forget to actually get to school.

“Id say race you there but i dont wanna get there any faster than I have to” Virgil says, and with that they rush out the house.

~~~

“Does he have to looking so fucking cute” Logan spits, Roman stops his words instaly and looks to where an angry Logan glares.

“Uh Im sorry, imma need my friend back” Roman pokes, Logan turns to him, his eyebrows tightened. “Dude, what is going on with you” Roman questions, Logan slams the locker shut trying to distract himself from Patton and Virgil standing just a few steps down the hall at their own lockers. “Just a reminder that you-”

“Roman I am fully aware of what happened, I am also fully aware that the only reason Patton has not spoken to me is my own fault” Logan leans against the locker paralleling Romans pose. “However I am still infuriated that he looks that cute” Logan sighs. He wasn't wrong, even if Roman and Patton had their...issues he still knew his former friend. And Patton had an incredible eye for fashion.

And today was no exception. He wore a dropped shoulder cropped pullover, striped with white, pastel blue and pink, finished with a white collar. His light blue jeans sat comfortably on his legs cuffed at the bottom to show off his white sneakers. His belt was prominent and no mistake and his backpack slung over just one shoulder as he unpacked his belongings into his locker.

Objectively he was cute, but Roman was distracted by Virgil. He stood next to Patton talking away, his outfits always suited him and his defensive look only made Romans face flush more.

“Welp, you win some you lose some” Roman shrugs, patting his friend.

“I so appreciate the sentiment dear friend” Logan's sarcasm was not lost on Roman.

“Come on, you need some sushi in you” Roman takes his friend's shoulders, preparing to guide his friend towards the exit. Each has a free period that bleeds into lunch so why not take advantage?

~~~

“Is it bad that I want to wear Romans varsity jacket?” Virgil whispered as he darted his eyes away from the said jock who only stood a few feet away.

“No, it's adorable” Patton says, he organizes his things in his locker, ignoring as Logan and Roman begin to walk towards them. He knew rationally they were headed towards the exit but the small inkling of fear if they were to come up to him was still present. But quickly his mind was taken elsewhere with an abrupt cheer.

“One! Two! Three!” He hears, why was that voice so familiar? “Who missed me!”

“Janus!” Patton recognizes, he spins with unfiltered excitement rushing through the hall. Janus laughs as he sees his friend racing towards him wasting no time to wrap him in his arms and spin him quickly. Their embrace was pure elation, Virgil caught up to the pair with his own grin. They finally parted ignoring the crowd around them, specifically two boys who had decided sushi could wait.

“Buttercup!” He grins, Patton giggles delighted. He had missed Janus so much, and the sweet way the nickname fell only increased the buzz in his heart.

Someone else in the hall was not feeling the ecstatic energy. Logan glared his shoulders tightening under Romans hold. What was this envious sweat dripping from him as he watched Janus snake a respectful arm around Patton's waist, cupped to keep his gentlemans distance.

But Logan wasn't allowed to be mad

He saw Carly down the hall, she winked at him receiving a disgruntled scowl in return. He watched Brittany and Martin walk by him, each a flustered look.

And why should he care, he had the whole school, why did he need-

His thoughts were interrupted by the most intoxicating, sweetest sound to ever bless his ears. Pattons little giggle as he clutched to Janus for stability. He may have been seventeen but he towered over the boys, including Logan. Virgil seemed happy enough but Logan couldn't get over Patton. Patton stood blushing, his hand never left Janus’s side and he was...flashing the brightest smile.

Why did Logan want to be the one to cause that reaction

“Oh shut up moreno” He whispers to himself, swiping away from Romans grasps he shoots Martin a wink before making his way to lunch, a hesitant Roman followed.

[zhydoesart]

Laughter is Better Together

First Next

Warnings: food, mentions of eating

Relationships: romantic LAMP, familial DLAMP, parental Moceit

Word count: 2.9K

AO3

Summary: Thanks to Logan, his husbands have realized that they want to adopt a kid. Patton's nervous, and stress-cooking commences, which leads to pancakes. A LOT of pancakes.

a/n: there’s a second part to this! the series is called Love Ties a Family Together, so that’s what the tag is going to be

"I want a kid," blurts Logan, and all of his husbands turn to look at him. Out of all of them, Logan should have been the least likely to admit this—in theory, Patton or Roman would have been the ones to bring up the idea, especially with the way Patton has always wanted a family. But it's Logan who admits this first to himself and his husbands, and he instantly blushes. "Is... is that... alright?" he adds, much quieter this time.

Patton takes Logan's hands. "Of course it is! We've been married for three years already, and I think we're definitely settled in, so that won't be a problem. Between the four of us, we've got three jobs, so we have the money." He absently strokes the back of Logan's hand with his thumb. "All that's left is, well, us wanting a kid."

"I'm not so sure about adoption," Virgil mumbles, fidgeting with his headphones he wears loose around his neck when he's not listening to music or calming ambient sounds.

Roman watches him, a soft concerned look in his green eyes. "Why not, mi cielo?" He gives Virgil a look that asks if he can touch Virgil, and when Virgil shakes his head, Roman backs off.

"I just... have had bad experiences with the system." He refuses to make eye contact, but his husbands recall when he told them about the many incidents he'd had over the years in foster care.

"Virgil," says Logan carefully. "I believe that would only be an issue if... the caregivers were the ones with..." He doesn't finish, but Virgil finally glances up. He nods stiffly at Logan, and he knows his point has been understood.

"Besides, there are other options aside from adoption!" Patton beams at the prospect.

"Well, yeah, but adoption is the most straightforward." Roman looks to Logan to confirm that his counterargument is, indeed, correct, and Logan simply raises an eyebrow. Roman rolls his eyes.

"I guess that's true." Patton's thumb has stopped rubbing circles against Logan's hand and is now still as he thinks, and Logan squeezes his hand. Patton doesn't respond right away, but when he does, he smiles.

"So we're gonna adopt, then. We're gonna have a kid." He sounds slightly awed, and now Logan is incredibly grateful he brought it up, if only to see Patton so amazed. "We're gonna be dads! I've only been waiting for this for... huh, my entire life!"

He jumps up off the couch, unable to contain his energy, and Roman stands with ease, sweeping Patton into the air in a graceful 360° spin. Patton giggles as Roman sets him down, and Roman grins, tucking a piece of Patton's hair behind his ear that had fallen into his face before gently pressing his lips to Patton's forehead. Patton is, of course, very ticklish, and so this only serves to make him giggle even more.

"Hey, c'mere, Lo, Vee! Come join us! This is a happy occasion!" Patton wiggles his fingers and then his eyebrows at them invitingly, and they both mock sigh but soon join their husbands doing whatever Patton considers a celebration. They sneak little smiles, but can't help themselves and break out into grins.

-----

Virgil is sure that he'd been holding Patton in his arms when he'd fallen asleep, but when he wakes up, Patton's not there. Virgil sits up slowly, smiling because of Roman's groaned half-asleep protests when Virgil moves Roman's arms from where they were tightly wrapped around his waist. He trudges down into the kitchen, and there he finds Patton.

Stacked on the counter is a huge pile of pancakes teetering on its plate, and Virgil is sure that if Patton hadn't been stress-cooking, he'd have been pacing again.

Patton brightens when he sees Virgil, and then looks guiltily at the giant pile of pancakes. "Oops?" He laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, at least we'll have reheated food to last us a couple of days, and with any luck, our… our kid will enjoy pancakes." The word "kid" is barely uttered, each syllable soft and light on Patton's tongue as if he's afraid to say it.

"Why are you stress-cooking?" Virgil grabs a plate, loading it up with a surplus of pancakes. (While he loves Patton's pancakes—they all do, somehow he always makes them so light and fluffy yet also so rich in flavor—he won't be able to eat all of this, but he might as well humor his husband for the time being and pretend that this is actually a perfectly normal amount of pancakes.)

Patton lifts one of the pancakes still cooking with his spatula to peek underneath. "I'm not stressed, Virge, not really. I'm just…"

"Nervous?" suggests Logan from the doorway. "You've been stress-cooking again, whatever you may call it. This is an unusual amount of pancakes, Patton."

"Yeah, nervous, that's it." Patton flips over a pancake. "And it's really not that many, Logan." Logan catches Virgil's eye and he mouths Falsehood, which almost catches Virgil off guard but he remembers to stifle his chuckle in time.

Roman strolls casually into the kitchen. "I see we have a large breakfast today, but that's all well and good when the only things here I want to eat are the three of you." He winks.

The three husbands have three very different responses.

Patton turns red, his entire face roughly the color of a strawberry. He's got figurative steam coming out of his ears, and he mumbles something as he flips another pancake.

Logan is mildly flustered, letting out a few sighs and sharp exhales as well as taking in a few sharp inhales. He straightens his shoulders and shakes his head at Roman, but there's a hint of a smirk in his eyes, and Roman can clearly tell.

Virgil flushes from the tip of his nose to his ears. His eyes widen, and he quickly re-balances his plate in his hands before he sends a pile of pancakes spilling onto the kitchen floor. He glares vehemently at Roman, who just looks back at him with an innocent smile.

"Anyway, Pat, flirting aside, it smells delicious." Roman samples a pancake from the top of the pile instead of sliding some off onto a plate.

"About your flirting, Roman," begins Logan. "It is… borderline acceptable when we are alone, but we are going to have a child starting today, and I don't want to hear you making crude comments like that with a kid around. Also, Patton." He rounds on Patton next, but Patton pulls back, clearly still nervous. Logan takes a deep breath, reeling in his Business Voice and letting out his Husband Voice. "No swearing."

"Hey, I don't swear that much more than you guys!" protests Patton.

"Not true. Remember when you dropped the chocolate chips?" suggests Virgil.

"And that time you realized you had an overdue library book because it was hidden under the bed and you refused to check because you were convinced there was a demon under there out to get you?" Roman reminds casually.

Patton deflates. "Okay, yeah, that… yeah. Okay. I do swear a lot, but I promise I have a filter! Don't worry."

Logan still looks worried, and Patton opens a cupboard under the sink. He pulls out a jar of what could only be one thing, and Logan's eyes light up like a child on Christmas.

"Crofter's?" he asks, the pure excitement in his voice reminding Patton of a puppy about to play fetch.

"We're all going to be a little stressed with inviting a new member into our family and adjusting to that, and I'm sorry to say this, but you are the easiest to please." Patton chuckles as Logan practically tears the lid off and it goes bouncing across the floor. "I can get you some toast, or…?" But Logan's already stacking pancakes on a plate, and Patton has a stinking suspicion that maybe Crofter's doesn't taste so bad on pancakes…?

Maybe.

He and Logan were both wrong. It's not a pleasant texture. It's not a terrible texture either, but now they know better. Never again.

"Alright, are we ready to go?" Logan asks once they're all in the car. They all nod, and he starts the car.

Patton is lost in thought for the entire drive. In the back seat, Virgil and Roman are bantering, and usually he'd be pretending he doesn't think it's funny, but he can't bring himself to listen today. He's just too nervous.

"We're here." Logan lightly touches Patton's shoulder, and he jumps. "I hope I didn't startle you too much." Patton shakes his head and unbuckles. This is fine, Patton. It's fine.

They're taken into a room to wait, and Virgil massages Patton's shoulders. He's got a few knots, but he's never complained about it so he's not sure how Virgil knows—but he's grateful that Virgil knows.

"Thanks."

"You looked tense," Virgil says in answer to Patton's questioning look. "Usually, when someone's tense, the best place to start is the shoulders."

The door opens, and it takes all of Patton's self-control not to immediately shoot up onto his feet. He takes a few deep breaths.

A woman sticks her head through the now open door. "The Sanders, correct?" When Roman nods, she opens the door the rest of the way. "I'm Sasha. It looks like all of your paperwork is properly completed, so I've brought Janus to meet you."

There's a boy standing behind the woman. He's not cowering behind her, but he isn't entirely dauntless either. He mostly seems curious.

Patton takes a closer look. The boy, whose name must be Janus, has two differently-colored eyes. His right eye is a shade of green not unlike Roman's and his left eye is a shade of brown not unlike Virgil's. His hair is a little long and fluffy, and Patton wonders what it would feel like to brush it. His skin is darker than Roman's, but there's a few patches of lighter skin on one side of his face.

Janus catches Patton staring at him and kind of shrugs, and Patton isn't sure why he was ever nervous. He is adorable. This is the one. This boy is going to be his son if he has anything at all to say about it.

Roman's watching Patton, and he sighs slightly. He knows what Patton's thinking. Patton gets this look on his face whenever he's decided something belongs to him. He's seen it many times before, and he knows what's going to happen next.

"Hi." Patton smiles at Janus, and Janus hesitantly smiles back. Patton's instantly filled with a warm and fuzzy feeling. "My name's Patton! I like your name. Janus is a really cool name." He cautiously approaches the boy, who doesn't try to step away from Patton, although he doesn't step closer. "Can you talk?"

"Yes," Janus says, and Patton nearly squeals right then and there. His voice is a little raspy but tiny just like the rest of him.

"Well, I'm gonna be your dad." Patton's beaming and he swears if anything else happens, if he gets any happier, he will explode.

"Okay, dad." Janus smirks at him, and that's Patton's last straw. He is now internally screaming.

"Patton, are you ok?" Roman asks.

"Oh, yeah, completely fine." When Patton turns, he's crying, but smiling.

"Sorry I made you cry." Janus is now panicking. He's already made his new dad cry and they've only been in the same room for three minutes. Did he say something wrong?

"Nonono you're fine sweetheart." Patton still has tears dripping down his face, but he takes Janus' hand, and Janus finds that it's much easier to ground himself with the aid of physical contact. "I'm just… happy." Oh. Well, good, he didn’t actually upset his new dad. "Can I… hug you?" Janus nods—he misses hugs—and Patton kneels fully, enveloping the small boy in a hug. Janus inhales, taking in Patton's scent—smells like cookies, maybe?

"If you're my dad, then what are they?" Janus asks once his dad has stopped crying, nodding to the other men.

"They're my husbands!" Patton informs him.

His brow furrows. "All of them?"

"Yes. I love them."

"Oh." Janus thinks silently for a minute. "What do I call them, then? Are they my dads too?"

"You can call me papa," Roman cuts in. He'd thought about this in advance, and so had the other two, but they'd never discussed it, only separately considered it.

"I'm your tati." Virgil smiles at Janus.

"And Logan's gonna be your baba, right Logan?" Patton winks at him 

Logan splutters. He'd never told Patton what he'd picked, but Patton is somehow correct. "Yes." He adjusts his glasses, as is his habit when he needs something to do with his hands.

"Cool." Janus looks around at all of them. "So I have four dads now. Which one tells dad jokes?" They all point at Patton, and he laughs.

"That'll be me, kiddo. Say, what's something you like?"

"I like snakes." Janus doesn't know why Patton's asking, but he seems nice, so he'll go along with it.

"Hm, okay." Patton thinks. "Oh! Okay. Kiddo, I think you're hiss-terical. You remind me of Virgil but on a smaller scale. It'll be cool to have a kid around the house, we can snake it up a bit." He's chuckling at his own jokes. None of the other men seem very amused, but Janus laughs, and Patton's eyes light up. He can get used to this.

The next morning Janus wakes up in an unfamiliar place—ah, yes, his new room. But what's this he's holding? A… a stuffed snake?

There's a note on the bedside table. It's in a slightly messy scrawl. It reads, Good morning, kiddo! I went out shopping yesterday night for some things I forgot and I saw this and you like snakes so it reminded me of you! Hopefully you like it. I'll be in the kitchen if you wake up after 8, but if I'm not up yet, there's some pancakes in the fridge and if you'd like you can microwave them for two minutes. Love, Dad.

Janus rolls his eyes. They're doing so much for him already, and he only just met them yesterday.

He starts to leave but then changes his mind. He goes back for the snake plushie—he's going to name her Ethel. He brings her with him to breakfast.

It's only 7:43, so Patton isn't up yet, but Janus does find the container of pancakes in the fridge. He stands on his tiptoes to reach a plate and puts some of the pancakes on the plate. He microwaves the pancakes for two minutes and takes them to the table to sit.

As he eats, Janus looks around. He'd gotten here yesterday, but he hadn't gotten much of a chance to really observe. He'd been overwhelmed and tired, so he'd gone to bed not long after getting there. Wait—home. This is… his home now. He's never had a real home before.

On the wall by the door, there's a trophy display. Janus can't read the plaques from there, but he bets if he went over there to read one, it would commend Roman on his acting. He'd asked a few questions about his dads in the car on the way home. At first he'd been worried his questions would get annoying, but they'd been more than happy, overjoyed even, that he was expressing interest. He'd learned that Roman does acting, Patton's a librarian, and Logan is a professor at a nearby university. Virgil is a freelance artist, but he doesn't get paid much for his work.

Janus bites into a reheated lukewarm pancake and his eyes widen. Is this a blueberry pancake? He shovels down the blueberry pancakes as fast as he can and eats the normal and chocolate chip ones a bit slower. He makes sure to rinse off his plate, leaving it in the sink.

"Good morning, kiddo." Patton enters the kitchen. He's delighted to see that Janus brought his snake plushie with him. "Did you like the gift, then?"

"I loved it," Janus says, and Patton looks so extremely happy that it almost takes him aback. Wow, so Patton's really a pure soul, huh?

"Let's get some food in you, hm?" Patton hustles over to the stove.

"Oh, I've already eaten, actually."

"Oh, really?" Patton turns to face him. "What did you have?"

"All…" Janus lowers his gaze to the floor. "All the blueberry pancakes."

"I can't hear you, honey, you've gotta speak up."

"I ate all the blueberry pancakes," blurts Janus.

Patton blinks. "Oh, wow. You just really like blueberries, huh?"

"They're my favorite food?" Janus meant to say that as a statement but it comes out as more of a question.

Patton claps once in excitement. "In that case, I'll have to make you some more soon." He hums as he gets himself a huge serving of pancakes from the fridge. He taps the counter behind him as he leans on it while he waits the two minutes required to warm the pancakes. Janus normally would be bothered by sounds like that, but since it's Patton, it's endearing.

By 8:30, the other three dads have stumbled into the kitchen in varying states of sleepiness, and Patton gives them each a good morning kiss on the cheek. Before long, a friendly argument has broken out, and Janus smirks behind his plushie. He can get used to this.

-----

@moxiety-my-love @celeste-tyrrell @bitteryjittery-andveryglittery @treasureofpriam @acompletemusicalnerd @unicornofdarknessstuff @whispers-stuff-in-your-ear

[omgsomeonesomewhereonearth]

For the asks, 001 Moceit, 002 Patton and/or Roman :D

Ooh, yay, all my faves!! :D :D

Moceit:

When did you start shipping them?

I think I started shipping moceit pretty early on when I joined the fandom?

This is actually kind of funny, because I was working on a Patton angst fic (I never posted it in the end) where Janus was meant to be the bad guy (or one of them, anyway). But then...he refused? Like, you know when characters just don't want to do as they're told, right?

I was like "Deceit, go and fake comfort Patton so you can stab him in the back" and then he really went and said "Fuck you, I'm going to comfort him for real and we're in love now". And who am I to argue with that?

My thoughts:

I LOVE THEM!!! is that a surprise to anyone?? They balance eachother out so well!! They're just sjfkabks SO GOOD!!! They're very different, but fundamentally also pretty similar, and they work together really nicely.

What makes you happy about them:

EVERYTHING-. No, okay, I'll answer properly. I kind of like that they like, argue sometimes? Idk, I feel like Patton is always so verys weet to everybody but talking to Janus kind of brings out a slightly less 'nice' side to him? (Just see like, all of SvS) and that makes me happy! And at the same time, I feel that Patton brings out Janus's softer side!! (Like, when he checked himself in POF after answering Patton kind of sarcastically!). In general, I like the idea that they can be real with eachother in a way that they're not with others? And I definitely see them as a couple who can 'argue' about things without it becoming toxic or hurtful and knowing that they still love eachother at the end of the day.

ALSO!!! I have read a hundred headcanons about Janus being able to sense Patton's repressed sadness and encouraging him to express it more and allow himself to be angry, or sad or whatever, AND I WILL READ A HUNDRED MORE!! I LOVE that idea, I love that they understand eachother on that level and just sjfjkahfkaj!!!

What makes me sad about them:

I frequently make myself sad about them by reading and making up angsty headcanons in my head? Apart from that, really nothing? I think they're perfect, yes they had an antagonistic relationship for a while, but if anything I thimk it makes their relationship stronger now?

Things done in fanfic that annoy me:

Apart from the obvious stuff - people writing unsympth Janus or Patton and not tagging their shit.

I don't know if this can be considered an annoyance because I think it can be nice sometimes, it's just not my preference? I think Janus is often characterised as a bit too fluffy in moceit fics? I don't personally think that a character being "good" has to be the same as being "nice" and I like to see Janus as a bit more sarcastic and snarky, which I feel is a side if his personality that doesn't get explored nearly enough in moceit fanfic, specifically.

(Whereas, I think it's seen a lot more in demus fics, for example. And I know that Patton is quite a fluffy character himself, but he's hardly made of glass, and of all characters I honestly think that Janus is the least likely to be handling him with kid gloves if they were in a relationship.)

Things I look for in fanfic:

Well, the thing i said above, obviously.

I also really love enemies to lovers fics with them? But very specifically, enemies to lovers where they're not really enemies?? Think Crowley and Aziraphale stuff. Enemies in name, but not much more than that.

In a similar vein, I love forbidden romance for these two. I think it just fits them so well.

Who I'd be comfortable with them ending up with, if not eachother:

Patton with Roman, Janus with Remus :))

My happily ever after for them:

They move in to an adorable little cottage with a beautiful garden that they look after together and a cozy fireplace that they snuggle in front of and they dance in the kithen together every night while making dinner and they end up sleeping in every morning no matter how early Patton sets the alarm because Janus insists on an extra five, ten, twenty, thirty minutes cuddling.

Big spoon/little spoon:

Patton is the big spoon!!

Their favourite non sexual activity:

I think they both really like cooking together. just soft domestic happy cooking times :))

This is really long so I'm probably going to do the second question in it's own post

[exhaustedfander]

Can I request a Moceit fic where Janus is trying to impress Patton, it fails each time, but they get together anyway?

Here ya go! This was a fun one to write, I absolutely adore these two! Feedback and reblogs are really appreciated, have a nice day/night! 

a03 link

My writing masterpost

word count: 2,196

To Woo Morality [Moceit]

It was stupid, really, to think that winning Patton’s heart would be an easy endeavor. It’s not as though they’ve been on the best of terms for most of their existence, indeed they’d been considered enemies for some time. Just because Janus was now accepted by Patton and he’d received an apology card from Patton for everything that had been between them – it really was a nice card – didn’t mean that they were immediately on the best of terms.

Janus didn’t mean to fall for Patton. Any positive feelings he’d felt for the moral side in the past had quickly been pushed to the back of his mind; Jesus, Janus should’ve known better than to think repression would work. But now that they’ve been spending a lot more time with one another, Janus can no longer ignore the affection that blooms in his chest when he’s in Patton’s presence.

At first, he’d been under the impression that even if they were becoming friends, Patton would want nothing to do with him in a romantic-sense. They’d just be pals, and Janus’s heart would just have to burn a little more with each passing minute together. Except…recently, Janus has noticed a shift between them. It could be in his head, though he highly doubts that, but it seems as though Patton has seemed somewhat more nervous in his presence. It’s little things, hands accidentally making contact earning a blush, lingering hugs that the moral side just seems to melt into, passing glances that clutch at Janus’s heart and a look in Patton’s eyes that he prays is admiration.

For some time, Janus has been telling himself that perusing Patton is a horrifically bad idea. He and the others are by no means on good terms. Logan tolerates him as far as he’s aware, but he has impersonated him a few times now. Things are decidedly very shitty between him and Roman, and conversations between him and Virgil usually end in hissy-fits. Remus has been a friend to Janus for some time now, someone who while strange and quite a bit to deal with also knows him better than most, so having his company is somewhat of a relief. He’d like to tell Remus of his feelings for Patton, but if he knows his friend, and he does, it will only end in an onslaught of teasing and Remus running to Patton blabbering. That just won’t do.

The idea of the others knowing of his feelings for Patton was something that, truthfully, concerned Janus. They're fiercely protective of their fatherly figment; who wouldn’t be? It had held him back, thinking of how they’d react. But it’s those moments of hesitation, lingering hands, lingering eyes that push Janus over the deep end. He’ll seduce Patton or die trying. The only question is how.

Janus’s first attempt is a gift. Nothing fancy, but rather innocuous and simple in case things go belly-up. Unfortunately, they do.

“Aw, Jan, you’re too sweet,” Patton coos, holding up the frog stuffed animal with a gleam in his eyes that Janus foolishly sees as promising. Patton sets the plushie down and wraps him in a tight hug.

“I’m so lucky to have such a good friend!” Yikes. That’s not quite what Janus was hoping for.

“Likewise, I’m pleased to call you my friend as well,” Janus says as he pulls away, far smoother than he assumed the words would come out. “I’m glad you like it.”

And then, Janus is back to scheming. The only problem is, he's never been very good at scheming. Sure, he might seem like the type to pull together an elaborate plot, but most of his best work is done on the fly. But impressing Patton can’t be improvised, he tells himself angrily, passing the length of his bedroom, it has to be perfect. So he thinks. And he plans. And he overthinks.

“A picnic?” Patton asks, excitedly. Janus grins, already proud of this plan.

“Yes, if you’d like to join me,” Janus offers, suave. Yes, this will be fine.

“Well, I’d love to, kiddo,” Patton says energetically, and Janus tries his best not to wince at the “kiddo”, “Only…you’re talking about picnicking in the imagination, right?”

“Yes, of course,” Janus replies.

Roman and Remus’s realm is the perfect place for a romantic picnic. With lush, rolling hills of green and skies as blue and beautiful as baroque paintings, it’s the best place Janus can think to woo the moral side. There are fantastical beasts, most of which harmless, at least on Roman’s side of the imagination (save for the dragon witch, but she hasn’t been seen for some time). They’d be sure to steer clear of Remus’s more unruly section of the realm. But then he catches the look on Patton's face.

“Is there a problem?” Patton huffs, fiddling with the end of his shirt. Goodness, that’s not a good sign.

“Oh, I’m just worried it might upset Roman,” Patton explains, “I know you two still have a lot to work out. And Remus’s side…well, I’m not too sure if I want to encounter anymore of the horrific monsters that live there. Once is enough for me.” Damn it, why did Remus ever have to drag Patton on a quest, and why in the world had Patton agreed?!

“Ah, that’s…understandable.” Janus set the picnic basket down, trying to hide the hurt that was surely showing on his face. For a liar, he sure was getting bad at masking his emotions.

“Oh, Jan, I didn’t mean to make you sad! I’d love to still have the picnic, if you still want to. Just somewhere else, maybe?” Janus does what he can to hide how deflated he feels, nodding and forcing on a smile.

“Sure, Patton. The common room, or one of our rooms, perhaps?” Janus flinches as Patton grips onto his wrist. His grasp isn’t hard or painful, just startling.

“C’mon, let’s go to the common room. Maybe someone else will want to join us too.” Janus couldn’t shake the hurt that sentence provoked if he wanted to. Even so, he picks up the picnic basket again and allows Patton to lead him away.

Later Janus sits at his desk, his head in his hands. Why does it have to be so hard? Why can’t his efforts be enough? He’s seen it, surely, he’s seen a twinkle in Patton’s eyes that has to mean something. Or maybe he’s just been far too optimistic. Perhaps the idea of Patton having any interest in him is absolutely preposterous.

Plans flutter through Janus’s mind, gifts he could give, attention he could provide him, but none of it matters in the end. It’s all sure to fail – god, when did he get so depressing?

Janus sighs looking at the clock: nearly 12 am now. He’s been holing himself up in his room since the picnic. At least Patton seemed to be having fun, and Logan even joined them for a bit. That certainly didn’t thrill Janus, but the smile it brought to Patton was something he couldn’t discredit.

Reasonably, it’s too late for a snack. But he’s also imaginary, and moreover, doesn’t really give a shit.

He doesn’t expect to find Patton in the kitchen and considers turning on his heel before the moral side catches sight of him.

“Oh, hiya, Janus,” he greets, friendly as ever, “What are you doing up so late?” Janus bites back a sigh, walking into the kitchen and eyeing Patton.

“I could ask you the very same question.” Patton giggled sheepishly.

"I suppose you could. I couldn’t manage to fall asleep, and I’ve always heard warm milk might do the trick,” Patton explains, holding up a mug, “But boy, this stuff’s nasty. It’s no cowincidence I’ve never been much of a fan.” Janus chuckles lightly, leaning against the kitchen counter. “So, what about you? What brings you to the kitchen this time of night?” “Same as you, I suppose,” Janus says, hoping Patton won’t challenge his vagueness, “I found difficulty sleeping.” That isn’t entirely untrue. Perhaps it was because he was getting lost in his failed plans, but Janus still hadn’t been able to sleep. It seems that Janus has lost his desire for a snack, as seeing Patton is only upsetting him more. He doesn’t want to be like this, so at the mercy of his emotions, and it’s driving him near-insane.

“I think maybe I’ll try again, though. Goodnight, Patton.” “Wait.” Janus pauses in the doorway, turning back to see Patton worrying his bottom lip.

“Is something the matter?”

“No, no. Nothing like that,” Patton sounds uncharacteristically anxious, something that strikes Janus as odd, “I just wanted to…thank you, I guess.” Janus quirks an eyebrow.

“Thank me?” “For being so sweet lately,” Patton clarifies with a flickering smile, “I mean, you’ve been so nice, getting me things, and having a picnic, and just sitting and talking with me as much as you do. Things were so bad between us for so long, I know I’m a lot of the reason why –.”

“We’ve already had this conversation before, Patton. It’s okay,” Janus interjects.

“I know we have, but it doesn’t make me any less sorry. But I feel really lucky that we get to hang out as much as we do now. It’s really nice, you make excellent company.”

Janus half expects himself to fall into a love declaration right then and there. Patton, always so kind and well-meaning, is thanking him for all the extra work he’s been putting in trying to get Patton to notice him. Evidently, he has noticed him, just maybe not as much as Janus wants. It’s selfish, he realizes, to desire so much, so soon. He needs to stop his futile attempts to win Patton’s heart and simply enjoy what he can get.

“It’s not nearly the same as everything you’ve done for me,” Patton splutters, pulling something out of his pocket and pressing it into Janus’s gloved-hand, “But I made you this.”

Janus looks down at the blue and yellow bracelet, the two colors woven tightly together. Janus half expects to start weeping because, yes, this is a friendship bracelet, but it’s also something that Patton has made for the others, but never him.

“I hope you like it,” Patton says nervously, messing with the sleeves of the cardigan tied over his shoulders. Janus slips the bracelet onto his wrist and, in a very un-Janus-like fashion, engulfs Patton in a tight embrace. Patton lets out a sound of surprise before sinking into the hug, pressing his face into the crook of Janus’s neck.

“I love it,” Janus breaths out, feeling like the luckiest side in the world just to be holding Patton, “Thank you.”

“Of course, I-I’m glad you like it,” Patton manages to sputter out. The hug drags on far too long to be considered platonic. Neither men let go.

“Janus…” Patton trails off, letting go of Janus’s back and instead cupping his face in his hands. Janus could feel the moral side’s hands beginning to tremble. He waits a moment, wondering if Patton has more to say, feeling as though his heart might just beat out of his chest before it's unanimously decided action will speak much louder than words.

The kiss begins feather light, just the slightest brush of the lips before Janus’s fingers dig into Patton’s curls, pulling him as close as possible. There they stand in the low-light of the kitchen, kissing and holding onto one another as if the other might disappear if they let go. Unfortunately, the need for oxygen eventually arises and the two part briefly, smiling wide. Patton ducks his head against Janus’s chest, still holding close to him.

“Wow…” is all that Janus can think to say. Patton giggles.

“Wow is right. I was so worried that you didn’t feel the way I did.” Janus chuckles lightly at that, carding a hand through Patton’s hair.

“That's funny, considering it’s not like I’ve been trying to get your attention for some time.” Patton let out a noise of confusion before catching on.

“Oh, Jan, honey. You could’ve just told me.” Oh, he already likes the sound of Patton calling him “honey.”

“In all fairness, you could’ve told me yourself.” Patton laughs again, pressing his lips to Janus’s again, lighter but much of the heat is still there.

“I guess you’re right. We were being silly, dancing around each other, huh?” Janus hums in response, a content, relaxed sound. “Why don’t you try and get some rest now? You sound tired.”

“Come with me,” Janus requests. It’s suddenly so easy to ask, so easy to show Patton how much he cares for him and desires to be in his company. “You look quite tired yourself.”

“Okay, Jan,” Patton says, releasing him from his grasp before lacing their fingers together. The pair walk hand-in-hand to Janus’s room, both smiling wider than they have in quite some time.

As it turns out, Janus’s plans were not a complete waste of his time. He’s relived there’s no need for anymore scheming, though. He’s got everything he’d ever been searching for.

=+=

[magpiemorality]

Bring It On, Moceit/Moremus, 5/5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5  AO3

We’re here; the final part. The happy ending, hopefully… 

Huge thanks to @littlestr​ for the original prompts! And thank you all for following along with this fun weekend jaunt, I have come to adore these boys and they’ve outgrown the little prompt oneshot they were supposed to exist in, constantly yelling at me for more attention until now we’re here. There’s even art HERE by @sometimeswritingsometimesdying go look at it!!!! 

Without further ado; please enjoy.

Warnings: dismissal of polyamory (character doesn’t believe it’s real/feasible), swearing 

Patton Sanders was the prettiest boy in the whole college...

***

Patton Sanders was the prettiest boy in the whole college. He wasn’t being vain or anything; there had once been an online poll on the college gossip blog and he’d won hands down. It was just fact at this point. 

He was also currently (in his own internal poll) the saddest. Everything had been going so great (shut up Remy it had) and then it had taken a turn towards the endgame and then- 

Well, what had happened with Remus? Patton still wasn’t sure, and Remus was ignoring his texts so he had no clues to go on apart from the fact that one minute the boy was giving him some very upmarket salmon filets and pulling off a classing hair-behind-the-ear move that would have possibly even led to a kiss- and then nothing. Remus had suddenly… changed his mind? He’d freaked out for some reason anyway, and had just run off. 

Since then nothing, nada, total radio silence (yeah so it had only been two days so what Remy shh) and Patton was falling into despair. There had to have been a vital signal he’d missed somewhere that would have turned the whole thing around. 

Maybe the fish was a clue? 

He and Remy had spent a full evening poring over the fish. Was it a secret message? Symbolic in some way? Was there something written on it? Patton had drawn the line at trying to open it up and check the inside because he still very much wanted to save it to cook for Remus some day, so it had been rehomed in the freezer after a careful perusal of storage methods on Google. 

And there was a whole other problem now too- Dex was avoiding him. Over text, on campus, in the cafe; everywhere Patton could think of to try and run into his second paramour turned out to be a bust, and the only way (again, two days was ages Remy don’t be a bitch) he could have avoided even accidentally bumping into Dex for that long was if the other boy was actively staying away. 

Those texts went unanswered too. 

(Remy was starting to lose patience.)

“But I just don’t-”

“Oh my god gurl please don’t finish that sentence!” Patton’s very best friend and emotional support gay snapped, slamming his Starbucks cup down on the table (situated outside the cafe, so they could be seen by as many people as possible, of course). “I literally can not with you.”

Patton’s nose wrinkled. “My tutor Logan says we shouldn’t say literally when it’s not grammatically accurate.” 

“Your tutor Logan can literally suck my dick. No seriously; he’s hot, get me his number and I will consider literally forgiving you.” 

“But-”

“Baby, sugarplum, Patty-cake- for the love of all things caffeine; just take a chill pill okay? Boys will come and go in your life and if they’re worth anything at all then they’ll be back. Besides, they’re probably just duking it out over you somewhere. Maybe shirtless. Maybe there’s baby oil…” Remy trailed off with unfocused eyes, sipping his drink absently and Patton sighed, because even that nice (very nice, saved for later) image not enough to dispel his melancholy. 

He checked his phone again for the millionth time that day. Spring break was coming up and the cheer squad Whatsapp was going wild with anticipation, but Patton wasn’t in the mood. He’d foolishly hoped that one of his handsome men was going to sweep him off his feet and away to somewhere spectacular for the holiday, but that hope had tanked dramatically in light of recent developments. Normally that would’ve just made him shift his hopes towards prom, but it wasn’t enough of a big deal as it had always been in high school, and it was really more of a friends’ night out situation. Not the sort of time to be expecting big dramatic declarations of love, you know or whatever. 

No, the universe seemed to be spelling out ‘Patton Sanders is going to die alone’ pretty hard, even if Remy wasn’t in agreement. 

“Who are you texting, anyway?” Patton asked, picking at his nail polish with a pout. “Let me at least live vicariously through you until I waste away, a tragic damsel whose beauty was lost to time…" 

Remy looked up, talking around the straw in his mouth. “Jesus you’ve got it bad. And it’s none of your business, P, I’ll tell you when you aren’t moping.” The way Patton visibly and genuinely sagged seemed to revive Remy’s best friend sympathy instincts, because he quickly finished his drink, took Patton by the hands and pulled him up. “Come on cupcake, it’s the weekend and we’re going shopping. Because no matter what happens with your boys- it’s nearly Spring Break and we are gonna look hot to trot!” 

And who was Patton to disagree with such flawless logic? 

***

Maybe there was something to be said for the mystical powers of retail therapy, because when Patton flopped down on his bed that evening there was a text notification from a blocked number on his phone that made his heart beat wildly. 

It contained an invitation, to meet the following weekend at a destination that would be sent in a future text, and it was signed ‘from your not-so-secret admirer’. 

The week went by horribly slowly. Even practice seemed to drag, and yet… 

Suddenly Dex was meeting him every day with his tea again, no word of explanation but a soft smirk always hovering around his lips, lighting up his usually serious face. 

Suddenly Remus was watching and winking at him from across the gym- not approaching this time round but offering little shy waves and offering help when he could, putting away the gym equipment or offering a protein bar on the way out just as Patton’s stomach started to rumble. 

Something was up, and Patton’s head was in a spin, but it was oddly perfect. 

Even Remy couldn’t believe the change. 

“You’re totally one hundred percent sure they’re not on drugs?” Patton shot him a look. “Okay just double checking. Joined a cult? Kidnapped by aliens and replaced by pod people? Serial killers planning on luring you in an-”

“God, Remy, no!” He hit his friend with his pillow, laughing at the offended noises Remy made before he joined Patton in giggling on the bed. “No I think they just… sorted something out. It’s weird though, right? Like there’s something weird happening? Not bad weird, but…”

Remy mirrored his shrug. “You’ll have to wait and see what happens with your ‘not so secret admirer’,” he said, singing the name. “Do you have any clue which one of them it is?” 

“Well no. But surely it’s Dex? I mean, he’s Dexter, he can sort out a blocked number. It’s… Remus is a total carebear but he’s not exactly James Bond, you know? It’s got to be Dex. But he’d just out and say it, I know he would, so I don’t- I can’t be sure. Remus is the dramatic one…” Round and round in circles they went but never came any closer to solving the puzzle. 

Friday came and went and at long last it was time to head out for the grand reveal. Remy had helped him get dressed (cute but weather appropriate and with good running shoes, just in case) and they were waiting in the living room for the address to come through. 

His phone buzzed. 

Once they’d stopped shrieking in excitement they googled and found the address was of the same cafe he’d spent so much time in with Dexter over Winter break, which- it was probably not a good thing that his heart had sunk over ruling out the possibility this was Remus all along, right? It had simultaneously skipped a beat at the confirmation that it was Dex, so… You win some, you lose some he supposed. 

Crunch time. 

He hurried along the streets- glad for the tiny size of their college town and for the lack of rain on the crisp February morning- and slipped into the cafe. Only to see not Dexter O’Reilly sat inside waiting for him, but- 

“Remus?!”

***

Let it be known that Remus Duke was not the prettiest boy in the whole college, far from it. Nor was he the most intelligent, nor the richest nor the most popular. However what Remus Duke had in spades was earnest charm. It was lethal in a one on one situation, and he made sparing use of it so as not to abuse his power. 

Let it also be known that Dexter O’Reilly was far from immune to said charm, especially when it was turned on him from a few feet across a brightly coloured, messy, but shockingly cosy room in a frat house on Greek Row. If Dexter was the Slytherin here then Remus was almost certainly the Hufflepuff who would drive said Slytherin to world domination. 

In this case, of course, world domination was replaced by Patton Sanders, and the prospect of getting to date him. The concept was the same though, and the intense level of detail required to get the plan exactly right was too. 

In fact, Dex had stayed way later that night than either of them had expected, as they’d plotted and planned and discussed various ways of making their dreams reality. What Remus lacked in book smarts, he made up for with an innate talent for asking exactly the right questions to fix any inefficiencies or problems before they ever arose, and you bet Dex had made a mental note of that for future reference. 

What neither of them had really considered, was the exact reaction Patton would have when he walked in the cafe door on Saturday morning to find not just Remus, but- 

***

“And Dex!” Patton’s eyes were big and round as they switched back and forth and back and forth between the two young men. He clutched his phone in his hand like a lifeline, wondering if this was going to turn out to be the worst day of his life so far, rather than the tentative best he’d pencilled it in as… 

“Hey,” Remus smiled hopefully at him, standing up and awkwardly trying to gesture Patton to his seat like a magician’s glamorous assistant or something. Patton took pity on him and did in fact sit, still mostly set to ????? and !!!!!! and only just managing to process what was happening. 

Opposite him, Dexter crossed one long leg over the other, and Remus perched on the edge of the third chair like he was physically restraining himself from getting up to go be closer to Patton. Which wasn’t entirely untrue, as it happened. 

“Guys, what’s going on?” Patton asked weakly, looking to Dex for guidance, but it was Remus who replied. 

“Well,” he started, twisting his hands around nervously. “We ended up having a bit of a chat, last week. I um, I- oh fuck what was I supposed to say?!” Dexter snorted softly and Remus pouted at him. “You’re no help, we said we’d do this together!” 

You could’ve knocked Patton over with a feather. His mouth actually fell open at the display of camraderie. Suddenly the serial killer theory had merit. 

“Patton. Through a convoluted set of circumstances we ended up discussing our possible futures… with you. It’s fairly clear you’re struggling to choose between the two of us, right?” He waited until Patton nodded slowly. “So we thought… why choose?” 

“My brother Roman told me about this class he took last semester see, about like, changing identities or something. People, basically, and he heard about all these different things they never taught us in school! And one of them was-”

“Wait,” Patton interjected, holding a hand out because he was ninety percent sure he knew where this was going, but- “That’s real? Having… sharing partners is real? It actually works?” 

“Hey how’d you know what I was going to s-”

“Yes, darling, yes to all of that. If the people involved are honest and open and willing to work on it,” Dexter interrupted, smiling at Patton. Remus was also looking at him, nearly bouncing in his seat with excitement, overflowing with energy like always. Gosh Patton loved his energy, his enthusiasm for life, his potential, ahem, stamina… 

He turned back to Dex, only to be filled with warmth at the look he was getting, because he loved the way Dex gave him special smiles he gave no one else. He loved his soft, clever words, and his gentleness. 

Oh. 

“Oh.” There was quiet for a moment before the two hopefuls shared a concerned glance. 

“Patton?” Dexter prompted. “Is that… a good ‘oh’ or a bad one? We uh, we know it’s kinda not what you were expecting, probably?”

“And you can take your time to think about it!”

“Thank you Remus, yes. You can take your time, darling. But we would like to try this with you. However you like. And if we want to change things down the road… we can talk about that too.”

Patton was the prettiest boy in the whole college. Seemed like today he was the luckiest, too. “Yes!” He shouted, leaping out of his seat to grab them both in a hug, dragging them together forcefully. “Oh gosh, goodness, yes, that sounds perfect!” He gave them each a kiss on the nearest cheek and sat back down, cheeks red but smile bright, holding his hands out for them to take one each. 

“This is going to be so cool!” Remus crowed, and Dex chuckled softly at his exuberance, squeezing Patton’s fingers, his eyes betraying his own quiet excitement.

Yeah, Patton thought. It really was. 

--

Bonus 1 | Bonus 2 | Bonus 3 | Bonus 4

[omgsomeonesomewhereonearth]

I know I can't stand you, but please stay anyway? (pt 1)

Patton hates lying. Patton never tells lies. Patton has told a massive lie. Ethan can’t stand Patton. He has no reason to ever help him. Except, of course, the most obvious one. A fake relationship, a family Christmas, and other shenanigans ensue.

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, Deceit’s name is Ethan in this fic, Christmas

Pairings: Established side prinxiety, eventual moceit (initially one sided, and I guess this is also technically enemies to lovers?)

I have been informed that it’s okay to start posting chapters for a Christmas themed fic in late November so I am

AO3 Link Pt 2

“And then I told her that me and my boyfriend would both love to come over for Christmas!”

“Well that was a wonderful decision that couldn’t possibly backfire, I’m sure,”

“What? Patton, what were you thinking?”

“Were you thinking? At all?”

“You totally screwed up.”

“I know, I know, it was a really stupid thing to do, but I’ve done it now and I made a big mess and I really need you guys to help me, please?” Patton knew was whining, but at this point he had lost any sense of shame, or propriety he’d ever had. “I’ve been telling my parents for ages about this supposedly great guy that I’ve been seeing, and how he’s apparently too busy for them to meet, and now they’re sick of waiting.”

The group was gathered at Ethan, Roman and Virgil’s apartment for their weekly movie night. Ordinarily, by now they’d already be thirty minutes into the Beauty and the Beast, but due to circumstances, his friends had had to watch Patton pace and moan about his mistakes instead. It was really a testament to how good a friend Roman was that he hadn’t been punched yet.

Patton messed up a lot. He wasn’t quite used to messing up this hard.

He just hated to disappoint people! So, when his mum had called him up three years ago and asked about his love life, he’d made up a silly harmless little tale about a guy he’d met and started seeing. He’d meant to tell his mum that they’d broken up eventually, but she just seemed so excited every time she brought it up! Over the years, they’d established that Patton’s boyfriend was very painfully shy and worked a lot.

As his roommate and longest standing best friend Logan had pointed out to him when he’d first confessed the dilemma, he really should have expected that his parents would eventually want to meet his mysterious significant other. Logan was very clever.

“So let me get this straight- “,

“Good luck with that” chorused Roman and Virgil. Patton had to take a break to think about how cute they were together.

“…Not only have you been lying to your dear mother and father for three years, you’re now asking one of your friends to join you in your deceptive plot by pretending to be your boyfriend? How very disappointing.”

…

Patton firmly reminded himself that if he couldn’t say anything nice, he shouldn’t say anything at all. Roman and Virgil’s incredibly aggravating roommate was a relatively new presence in their close-knit group, and not one that Patton was thrilled about.

Ethan was…snarky, to put it mildly. He had a flippant attitude towards everything and seemed to take pleasure in driving Patton up the wall. Most frustrating of all, you could never quite shake the feeling that behind the careless exterior, Ethan had some sort of secret motive, one that Patton could never seem to figure out but that he didn’t trust one bit.

He didn’t even particularly seem to like any of them and yet he insisted on tagging along whenever they hung out. If only he wasn’t so close with Virgil…

Ugh. Patton liked to think he was a nice person, but whenever Ethan looked at him with that infuriating smirk or said something sarcastic it became really hard for him to remember that.

But for now, he didn’t have time to be mad at Ethan. He had other problems.

“It’s just for one week.” He pleaded with his friends. “I’d call my parents up and tell them we broke up, I promise?”

Logan sighed. “I am afraid I cannot do it, since Patton and I have been friends since childhood. Patton’s parents already know me very well, and they would know immediately that we were conspiring to distort their reality.”

“Do you have to phrase it like that?!”

“Well, that is literally what you are suggesting Patton, regardless of whether you’re willing to admit to it.”

Ethan snorted at that and Patton counted to ten in his head.

He had really hoped that Logan could do it. They were best friends, his parents already adored him, and Patton didn’t even think he’d be that uncomfortable pretending to act all romantic with him in front of his parents. But Logan had a point. He always did.

“Roman? Virge? Please?”

Roman and Virgil turned to look at each other before answering.

“Sorry Padre, but it’s our first Christmas being together and Virgil and I have already made plans.”

Virgil shrugged apologetically at him and Patton immediately felt bad. How could he have forgotten?

To think, when they’d first met, the two silly kiddos couldn’t stand the sight of each other and now Virgil and Ro were practically inseparable. Patton was happy for them. He couldn’t help but think that he deserved just a teensy bit of credit for introducing them in the first place.

“Patton?” Logan’s voice broke him out of his thoughts. “What will you do now?”

“Huh? Oh… I don’t know, I guess I’ll just have to call my mum up and tell her the truth. Or something. I don’t really have any one else who I think would want to do it. I guess that’s what I get for telling a lie…”

“You haven’t asked me yet.”

Patton gawped at Ethan, who had been staring at his phone throughout the whole conversation. Was he serious? No. This was probably some cruel trick. He wanted Patton to ask him so that he could say no and laugh at him.

“I didn’t think you’d actually want to do it.”

Ethan rolled his eyes. “Well obviously I don’t want to do it. Honestly, I can think of few things that would be less appealing. However, one of those things happens to be spending the week alone while these two-“he jerked his thumb at Roman and Virgil – “are off making out in some cabin.”

“Does that mean you’ll help me?” Patton wasn’t sure what he wanted the other to say. On one hand it would solve his current problem. On the other hand, an entire week alone with Ethan and his family sounded like a whole bunch of problems on its own.

Ethan hummed as if he was considering it. Did he really have to be so infuriatingly calm when Patton was clearly freaking out?

“Oh, Patton, I don’t know how I could accept such a brash proposal, I’m a man of very high standards.”

Oh goodness, he was practically purring. Calling his mum and coming clean almost seemed appealing. Almost.

“Listen E, if you’re just gonna be a dick-“

“No, Virgil, it’s okay!” Patton hurried to calm down his friend. He was grateful that Virge was so quick to defend him, but he really couldn’t afford to annoy Ethan right now. As much as Patton hated to admit it, he desperately needed the snake’s help.

He mustered his bestest, friendliest, smile.

“Ethan, would you come to my parent’s house with me and pretend to be my boyfriend for the course of one week?”

Ethan tilted his head. What more did he want?

“Um… pretty please? With cherries on top?”

The grin that followed was practically wolfish. “Oh, alright, I suppose I could take a week out of my incredibly busy schedule to help out my dear friend.”

Roman looked confused “You were literally just talking about how you had nothing to do because Virgil and I were going out of town-“

“I do not understand the nature of your request Patton. Why would you be offering Ethan fruit in exchange for_”

As the group fell into their usual messy chatter, Patton fell into his thoughts. Ethan had agreed to help him. He hadn’t thought that the snake was capable of doing things that he had nothing to gain from.

No, wait. That was mean. Just because he’d never seen Ethan behave selflessly didn’t mean he was incapable of it. Patton didn’t have any right to judge him. After all, a person was innocent until proven guilty and Ethan hadn’t done anything to suggest that he had ulterior motives for helping him.

Besides, he thought, eyeing the tall man lying, stretched out on the floor. Ethan was – objectively – a perfect candidate for a fake boyfriend. He was (objectively!) very handsome and Patton had been to enough parties with him present to know that he could be charming when he wanted to be. He was intelligent – maybe not in the same way Logan was, but intelligent nonetheless. Maybe the week would be alright. He just needed to keep an eye on his unlikely saviour.

…

Roman pounced the minute Logan and Patton left the apartment.

“What are you doing?”

“… I beg your pardon?”

“Don’t play innocent, you slippery serpent! Since when do you have a soul?”

Was he meant to dignify that with a response?

Virgil snorted, leaning into his exuberant boyfriend, who pulled him into his lap without even breaking his ridiculous tirade. How revolting precious.

“Roman’s asking you why you’ve decided to do something for once that helps another person and poses no benefit to you whatsoever.”

Ethan needed new roommates.

“Exactly! And for Patton? The two of you don’t even like each other!”

Ethan was definitely rolling his eyes at Roman’s antics. He was definitely not doing his best to avoid Virgil’s knowing smirk. Furthermore, he had no idea why Virgil was grinning at him right now either.

“Cool your jets, Princey.” The aforementioned emo turned to wrap his arms around Roman’s waist and kiss his cheek. (Did they have to do this in front of him?) Turning to grin smugly at Ethan in between kisses, he continued, “I can assure you that in this instance E’s motives are entirely selfish.”

…And new friends. Ethan needed new roommates and a new best friend.

“What exactly are you talking about, my Dark and Stormy Knight?” (what the fuck did that even mean??) “Do the two of you know something that I don’t?”

And it was high time for Ethan to retreat to his room. Jumping to his feet, he grinned at Roman.

“I assure you that there is a number of things that we know and you don’t my dear prince.” He pretended not to notice Virgil frowning at the nickname. It was what he deserved anyway. “Why don’t you sit here and think about it-“

“Excuse me? I am not about to sit here and be criticised-“

“-And I will go catch up on my beauty sleep.”

Safe in his room, Ethan collapsed on the bed. His motives weren’t entirely selfish. And even if they were, so what? He would be helping Patton either way. Quality time with the little blue-eyed angel was really the least he deserved for his troubles.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. He was going soft. There was a time when he’d mocked Virgil for the very same thing, when the emo had first started hanging out with Patton. Then he’d actually met the guy and it was Virgil’s turn to make fun of him.

It wasn’t his fault the other had been so adorably wary of him the first time they met, eyeing Ethan like he thought he’d pounce or something. He grinned to himself as he remembered the way Patton had squeaked, actually squeaked when the little blond puffball had offered his hand for a handshake and Ethan had kissed it instead. After that, how could Ethan possibly hold back? It was just a game at first. Flirting with Patton, making fun of him. Anything to coax out those ridiculously cartoonish reactions. He hadn’t meant to develop feelings.

And of course, it didn’t help that the object of his affections still didn’t entirely like or trust him. Patton and he had had many a “civil discussion” about ‘helping others’ and ‘telling the truth even when it’s difficult’. They’d consisted mostly of Patton talking about morals and Ethan thinking about how a person could be cute and ridiculously obnoxious at the same time.

And yet, he mused, all the moralising lectures seemed to be working, did they not? No matter how much he rolled his eyes and scoffed, he couldn’t deny that hearing Patton’s earnest little voice in the back of his head did make him want to do the so-called ‘right thing’ more often, and even if he was only helping people because he had a stupid crush on the most strait laced boy on the planet, who cared? The old ladies made it across the street in one piece either way.

Not that he agreed with everything Patton said. The difference was that when Patton looked at him like he was the bad guy, Ethan actually cared. That was a new feeling, for him.

In other words, he had it bad.

He had never been more glad that Virgil was not a mind reader.

…speaking of Virgil, if the noises coming from the front room were any indication, he really needed to start looking for a new place to live.