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schnozzbun-art · 3 years ago

Note

for the commentary thing - I'm just going with my two favourite moments from ASAL

[She felt a light tap on her shoulder.]

[“There’s a man out there called Rando,” he whispered. “He’s powerful. Lives very far away. It would be a dangerous trip, but if we got his help you wouldn’t live underground anymore. The four of us could be safe there.”]

in chapter one, and [“Fine.” Buddy sheathed her sword. “I won’t kill you, yet. But I will.”]

to [“...Let’s find those caves,” Rando said.]

in chapter 2

Ask Game: Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any fanfic I’ve written, and I’ll give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet!

/Oooh, some very generous selections! Hot damn let’s see how I go, especially cause I haven’t read this stuff in a whiiiiile./

============ ASAL Chapter 1 ============

She felt a light tap on her shoulder.

Buddy flinched awake. Sticky was lying across from her with a finger to his lips.

“Hey Buddy,” he whispered, barely audible.

“Hi,” she whispered back.

/You know this sequence reads as mildly creepy in retrospect XD I think my logic at the time was since they’re in the dark and have very limited visibility, and also talking to someone in the dark is such a wildly intimate and immediate thing (big ‘staying up late at a slumber party energies) I think the lack of dialogue tags helps the pacing soar quite quickly. Also poor Sticky on a meta level is no stranger to having his intentions with Buddy misinterpreted, be it by the characters or the reader/player fdkjah. If I had written this today I maybe would have put an extra sentence of Buddy understanding that Sticky’s gesture meant he wanted her to keep quiet, but hm that might have been hand-holding the reader too much. It’s always a tricky balance/.

“It’s been a while.”

“Yep.”

Buddy was instinctively aware of how close Brad was. He was barely a yard away from her, a huge brown mass of cloth and hair that rose and fell as he breathed. She could tell by the clipped words and the shallowness of his breathing that Sticky was aware of it too.

/Whoops, that last sentence is broken lol. If I had written that today I would have said “She could also tell by Sticky’s clipped words and shallow breath that he was aware of it too.” Because Brad was the last person I talked about, the reader is prepped to assume Buddy is still describing Brad, rather than the fact she’s now talking about Sticky, WHOOPS. Genuinely considering editing that line cause it’s so jarring to me now, huh./ /Also the way I dehumanise Brad here in my language is very intentional. Buddy is so alienated from Brad she’s struggling to see him as a person and more like an animalistic collection of parts. “Huge,” “mass”, “brown”, “hair.” Kind of like she’s sleeping next to a dozing bear, and not the cuddly kind./

“What is it?” Buddy said.

“Just wanted to check on you,” he said. “How are you?”

/Sticky’s dialogue is deliberately a bit stilted here. He knows the danger, he also wants to keep his tone light so he doesn’t scare Buddy. It’s interesting to think about how adults consciously change their tone/diction when they want to broach something difficult to a kid, and I wanted to prep the reader a bit to be like ‘oh something’s going to happen here.’/

“I’m okay. I’m ten, I guess.”

/Not to pat myself on the back too hard but I always thought this line was pretty fun. Kids are great at dry humour, man, especially when they don’t realise how dry they’re being./

“Are you happy here?”

The question was as subtle as a boulder crashing into a lake. It felt like Sticky had just plucked something private and blinding out of her mind and dropped it right in front of them.

/Buddy has felt SO isolated and SO alone in her feelings, it’s unfathomable to her that someone would be so razor sharp in pointing out her unhappiness, even though it’s, probably extremely obvious to anyone looking at her.../

Buddy pretended not to understand. “Today was fun. I’m happy being with you right now.”

“But are you happy here? In this place, with Brad?”

Buddy fell silent. She opened her mouth but couldn’t make any words. Brad’s breathing roared in her ears. He was too close.

Her heart hammered in her chest. Achingly slow, she rose to her hands and knees and crawled across the ground until she was above Sticky’s face. She was so close she could smell the whiff of liquor and expired make-up on him. /Can’t give Sticky too much credibility XD Also I wanted to hint that maybe Sticky’s lips are a bit looser than normal due to the alcohol at Buddy’s party, leading to the fatal anecdote he shares about Dusty later./ He didn’t move. She lowered her face and surprised herself at the sharp simplicity of the words which poured from her mouth into his ear.

“No. I hate it here. I love you all but I hate being by myself alone. I feel like I’m crazy. I feel like I’m going to die. Sometimes I can’t tell when I’m awake or asleep. I want to leave.”

/While we’ve been feeling Buddy’s misery living underground, this is the first time we hear her voice them in her own words. It really is such a task finding the words to describe when you’re feeling so monumentally awful. The inability to articulate it, the fear that you’re admitting something wrong, the shame. Little Buddy is being very brave here! I also really wanted to put into perspective how, you know, Buddy has been living in what is essentially solitary confinement in her prime developmental years. Brad’s intentions aside—this is killing her./

Buddy’s throat closed. A grasping hand in her conscience forbade her from saying anything more. She felt light-headed with relief and terror. She didn’t know what would happen now. Didn’t she know better? Wasn’t today proof enough that wishing for something was just an invitation for disappointment? What if Brad had heard?

/I really wanted to push how much Buddy is genuinely, genuinely afraid of Brad. It’s something we see continually throughout Painful, and something when I was writing this I didn’t think enough people discussing Buddy really talked about. So much of Buddy’s actions in Painful aren’t motivated by spite, or anger—but fear of Brad./

But she trusted Sticky. He didn’t goof off like Cheeks or fuss like Rick. And most importantly, he wouldn’t crack under Brad. For Buddy it was worth the fear of getting into trouble if it meant she could talk about how she felt. It made it feel real. It made her feel real. If she couldn’t confide in Sticky, she had nothing left.

/Oh Buddy ;v; Also my Sticky bias is shining here XD But hey! Painful shows he’s the most resourceful, or at least physically resilient, of the uncles. I felt like this was a feasible angle to take for his character./

Sticky remained still as Buddy crawled back to her spot. Once she did, he rubbed his hand over his face and breathed out. “Okay, Bud... Okay, okay.” From the setness of his jaw, it looked like he’d made a decision. He inched closer to Buddy.

/I wanted to give the impression that this was something Sticky had been mulling over for a long time. Also something I’m surprised no one has called me out on is how the hell Buddy can see all this considering there is absolutely zero light, not even from the sun/moon cause they’re underground XD Listennnnn it’s a storyyyy and it’s fanfic. If I was charging money then I would have come up with a better explanation or fitted the prose to only describe hearing/scent/sensation. But listen I think stuff like this has it’s place. I’ve read stories that never explained things that were much more jarring but didn’t let me get in the way of enjoying it, so I hope, dear reader, you extend the same grace to me./

“There’s a man out there called Rando,” he whispered. “He’s powerful. Lives very far away. It would be a dangerous trip, but if we got his help you wouldn’t live underground anymore. The four of us could be safe there.”

/Firstly! Credit where credit is due, the idea of Sticky being the one to pitch to Buddy leaving for Rando was directly inspired by the fic Buddy. It’s a really good read and it ended up being an extremely foundation platform when I was writing chapter 1.//I just loved the idea of being able to actually see how Sticky pitched the idea to Buddy. As I said, I think it makes sense that it was Sticky’s choice to leave, and the one who seems most fascinated by Rando’s cause, seeing that in Painful he is the one that integrates so fully into the Rando army, donning their clothes and knowing how to fight, while Rick and Cheeks don’t. Like, Sticky is not the focus of ASAL at all he’s more of a plot device/exposition guy functionally BUT in my mind his arc really centres around actively taking responsibility for past foolishness and irreverence in a want to make something of himself and make a positive change for once (even though we all know his intentions were just as misguided as Brad’s...)/

/Also what a way for Sticky to plant the idea. Not just for Buddy to be free and with her uncles, but voicing the unspeakable, getting away from Brad. It feels so sacrilegious! And Sticky is very much trying to gauge Buddy a little, but his gut instinct is right, she doesn’t want to be near Brad anymore, or at least she doesn’t right in that moment./

I was also so excited to start cultivating the Rando mythos. Something I really want to tease out in this fic is how much Rando has become exalted into this superhuman figurehead. It sets up Buddy being so disillusioned when she does meet him, and also sets the foundation of stuff i want to explore with Rando’s arc about identity./

============ ASAL Chapter 2 ============

“Fine.” Buddy sheathed her sword. “I won’t kill you, yet. But I will.”

Rando nodded. “You will.”

The corner of her mouth quirked downwards. He was too accepting, too consenting to it.

/Part suspicion, part resentment. Buddy is TRYING to live out her little power fantasy to make up for how hellish her life has been and these terrible men aren’t falling in line!! 😤 This is mostly suspicion though. And Buddy has full right to be/

Buddy crossed her arms. “So you promise to do whatever I say?”

“To the b-best of my ability.”

Buddy glared.

/I still love how much of a teen Buddy acts in this section. I don’t say this to belittle her, so much as like, we’ve all been there XD I feel like people shy away from that part of her too much. Yeah she’s a teen with a sword, but she’s still a teen!! She’s gonna do teen things like cross her arms and call you a dumbass. I love her./

Rando inclined his head humbly. “Yes, B-Buddy, I will. P-Promise.”

Buddy closed her eye and nodded. “Good,” she said. “I want you to throw me.”

“...Excuse me?”

“You’re strong. I want you to throw me. Up there.” She pointed to the top of The List.

Rando followed her finger, then looked back at her.

“B-But your, um. Your foot.”

“You better not drop me then. Now—” She raised her arms with an air of ‘I’m waiting.’

/I could not tell you whether I was purposefully referencing that one sheldon meme or not, but what I can say is that I find it stupidly funny and reading this always makes me think of it and now I am plaguing you with my visions./

With no further protest, Rando gingerly picked her up, balancing her back and legs on both hands.

Rando raised her up and down, testing her weight. Then did a few light throws in the air. The rock face loomed over them. It looked three stories, at least. Buddy kept her hand clasped around the hilt of her sword, gaze trained on the top of The List, playing the action in her mind.

/I like the description here. I think now with my style of writing I tend to go a little more specific on the setting details, but I think the simplicity of the description here works well at letting the actions speak for themselves and reflects the matter-of-fact perspective Buddy has on her tasks. I think it’s definitely one of the most cinematic sections of the chapter. /

“One…”

Buddy braced herself.

“...two…”

A sharp inhale.

Then.

She soared up, up, up with breath-snatching speed. /You know that moment when you lower the window in a fast-moving car and the rush of wind takes your breath? I assumed ‘surely this would be like that’ when I wrote this./ Wind rushed through Buddy’s hair and ears. The speed wrung a tear out of her eyeball, but she didn’t let it sway her aim.

Time slowed. The throw had been superb. Just before she ran out of momentum, in a perfect arc, her sword shot out from its scabbard and slashed Rando in half.

/Very symbolic. Meant to make any reader who is any way endeared to Rando just a smidge nervous./

/Whatever happens, on the most essential level that matters, Rando isn’t making it out of this alive./

/Also this part was just very fun to write. Anime as hell in a way I feel you can only really get away with in fanfic, ha./

There was a moment where she stopped. A peaceful moment at the zenith where her body was suspended and still, as if gravity was deciding what to do with her. Her mind’s eye inscribed something in the rock.

Buddy, written in bold uppercase at the very top, all the names below scratched off like tallies in a childhood dresser. One horizontal line to warn Olathe. To let every man know the new height she’d reached. She’d show them. She was going to be big.

/Editing this chapter last year when I realised I could draw a link between the height marks on Buddy’s dresser in chapter 1 to her scratching the name out of the warlords, I did SUCH an excited little dance. It’s the way that Buddy’s quest, even though extremely understandable and brutally logical for what she wants to achieve, is still very much funnelled through this very childish perception. To Buddy big = STRONG. She wants power in the most brutish definition possible. It’s the classroom fantasy of turning 12 feet tall and terrorising your bullies, except the stakes could not be higher for Buddy’s case./

She fell.

/A prophecy like Icarus? Who can say. (I mean, I can, I know how it ends. But y’all will just have to wait >:3c)./

She didn’t think about how foolish she was. How the ground was hurtling towards her at breakneck speed. How Rando could just take one step back and watch her head crack open like an egg. How she was just one person, one kid, one girl.

/The way I like to write, description and especially internal emotions are always focalised through the POV character rather than an all-knowing narrator, and the classic rule is that the more a character denies something in prose, the more likely that there’s a good chance the opposite is true. I think one of the most important things with how I write Buddy is the fact that she does experience quite a bit of doubt. The odds are so colossally stacked against her, and she knows this. But to live in that despair is to die, and Buddy refuses to live in fear. She thinks it’s shameful due to how Brad’s parenting beat any trace of cowardice out of her, and also bc she can’t afford to be scared! She can’t let her guard down, she can’t succumb to fear, cause if she does it’s very likely she’ll die :( /

/The separation between ‘kid’ and ‘girl’ is also very purposeful. Besides Buddy of course being at a disadvantage due to being a child, she has also ruefully internalised these notions of being the “““““weaker sex”””””. Lot of resentment here./

She was wrapped in the bliss of being in the air, of the wind whistling through her ears, of her hair fluttering like bird-black feathers, of the outline of her path to freedom being just within reach.

/I’m very purposeful in how I link bird-like imagery with Buddy. Is it a cliche to associate birds and flight with freedom? Absolutely. But does it fit well and is it cool aesthetically? Also yes. I am vibing leave me be. Also while ‘bird-black feathers’ is a cool image I still see her as brunette in my head XD/

Rando caught her.

/Despite Buddy’s dark intent, despite how much Rando’s life is on the line—he still catches her. Without saying too much, it’s setting up a dynamic I am very very keen to explore in ASAL./

Buddy gasped as the rush of air left her and her stomach lurched to position. /That ‘stomach plop’ feeling you get in rollercoasters. Horrible but electrically thrilling./ She looked up at the two inscrutable holes of Rando’s mask beholding her, and stared right back. /Buddy and Rando are sizing each other up here. Both of them really get in this moment, with different levels of trust/reservation that “This person is 100% serious about their role in this, huh.”/ There was a quiet telepathy. A silent comprehension between them which understood: No turning back.

“...Let’s find those caves,” Rando said.

#ask #dinoburger #commentary #ask game #asal

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onlyanidala · 4 years ago

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onlyanidala fic archive

These are fics with titles J-P.

A-D E-I R-T U-Z

searchable desktop version available here

more anidala fics can also be found in our fic tag!

the link for each fic can be found by clicking the title!

Title: just a bliss Author: stranestelle Status: complete Rating: T Summary: A lightheaded Anakin Skywalker wakes up to the heavenly vision that is Padmé Amidala. Can you blame the man for wanting to kiss his wife on the spot? Well you can, when the whole thing is witnessed by a room full of senators caught in a hostage situation... and she'd really rather they had waited for later.

Title: just carry me home tonight Author: gemma Status: complete Rating: R Summary: "I – I didn't mean to, it's only that… Well, the Force, it lets me feel… What you feel, and I know this wasn't exactly what you imagined for your wedding night, so I…" His flesh hand rose to scratch his neck awkwardly, "I suppose I just wanted to make this special for you…"

Title: king of my heart Author: catiiasofia & misschrisdaae Status: complete Rating: T Summary: Anakin Skywalker's holiday to the small country of Naboo takes an unexpected turn when he unknowingly foils an assassination attempt meant for Padmé Naberrie, the nation's Crown Princess. Saving a Princess is crazy enough. The only thing crazier... well, actually, there are a few things. Things Anakin is well on his way to experiencing.

Title: lights in the valley outshine the sun Author: elizabeth7 Status: complete Rating: G Summary: What would happen if Padme survived and Darth Vader finds out? Padme & Anakin Darth Vader.

Title: look into my eyes it’s where my demons hide Author: shelivesfree Status: WIP/Unupdated Rating: T Summary: Each time he comes back to her, a little piece of him is missing... left out there, in the field, with his brothers. She can see it in the way he smiles and it doesn't reach his eyes. In the way he cries to himself when he thinks she's not awake. And all she can do is hold him.

Title: lost Author: pinkeastereggs Status: complete Rating: G Summary: “I feel lost." “Lost . . . what do you mean?” Padme couldn’t help but frown, searching for any signs on her husband’s face that could give her an insight to what he meant. But Anakin was just frowning to the side, seeming conflicted about something. He seemed distant, his eyes filled with an emotion that the young wife couldn’t begin to describe. How long had Anakin had this look in his eyes? Had she been oblivious to it before now or was this something new? Anakin and Padme have a heart-to-heart when he admits to feeling lost and frustrated with the Jedi Council. With truths about his relationship with Palpatine coming to light, Padme fights to talk some sense into her husband.

Title: madam president Author: skywalkersamidala Status: complete Rating: R Summary: Between late nights and headaches and mountains of paperwork and fierce opposition from her political opponents, President Padmé Amidala already had enough on her plate. And then she just had to go and fall for one of her bodyguards, a relationship which would ruin her reputation and his career if anyone were to find out about it. Also, someone's trying to kill her.

Title: make the world a little colorful Author: estrangedlestrange Status: WIP Rating: G Summary: The morning after meeting her soulmate, Padmé woke up and saw color for the first time. In the midst of a political crisis, Padmé had just met a gungan, two Jedi, and a slave boy and his mother. She, like any rational young woman, assumed the padawan learner was her soulmate. Ten years later, after having accepted that she would never be with her soulmate, Padmé, reunited with both her supposed soulmate and the slave boy, she realized how wrong her assumptions were. The slave boy, Anakin, who had looked at her with wide hopeful eyes and asked if she was an angel, was her soulmate.

Title: the masterplan Author: stranestelle Status: complete Rating: T Summary: In the midst of the endless galactic conflict, Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala have made a shocking discovery that brings more questions than answers. And maybe, just maybe, an end to the never-ending war. Sequel to Give Me A Signal.

Title: mother knows best Author: catiiasofia & misschrisdaae Status: complete Rating: M Summary: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.... Shmi Skywalker Palpatine had ruled the Galactic Empire on behalf of her son, Anakin, since the death of his father. For his part, the next Emperor has been content to leave politics to his mother and engage only in military exercises. All that is about to change as Padmé Naberrie, former Queen of Naboo, comes seeking aid for her charity, Amidala's Crusade, and Anakin's long-dormant crush comes surging back. What should be a perfect match is opposed by a mother determined not to lose her son and convinced hers is the only way...

Title: no colors in our skin Author: JTHM_Michi Status: Abandoned Rating: T Summary: Anakin grew up knowing that his masters called him the wrong words. They all called him “girl” or “girl-child” and it was just another way for them to dehumanize him. He didn’t know that, of course, not in those words, but it was true enough. His mother was always very clear with him, from the first time he came to her and asked her if she knew which master had taken his “boy parts”, that just because his masters called him a girl didn’t make him one. a.k.a. the Transgender Anakin Skywalker Verse

Title: no heroes on the high seas Author: spellcleaver Status: complete Rating: T Summary: When Luke's aunt and uncle are executed by order of the Emperor's right hand, Lord Vader, he flees his home to search for his sister and the mother he never knew. But then Obi-Wan Kenobi stows away aboard the same ship, Vader gives chase, and Luke is dragged into a conflict that his family are at the very heart of. Gen.

Title: nos cedamus amori Author: skywalkersamidala Status: complete Rating: M Summary: Anakin is a gladiator and a slave. Padmé is the wife of the Roman emperor's heir. Circumstances should never even allow them to meet, let alone fall in love.

Title: of mutated worlds Author: gemma Status: WIP Rating: M Summary: Nobody saw the end of the world coming. It happened overnight, no warning, no escape. They came from the shadows, biting, paralysing, and killing little by little until they were the majority. One day, everything was normal and then, suddenly, Padme Amidala Naberrie woke up in hell.

Title: of options and comlinks Author: estrangedlestrange Status: complete Rating: G Summary: In that moment it seemed like there were only two options: help Master Windu arrest the Chancellor and secret Sith Lord or heed to Sheev Palpatine’s begging and turn against the Jedi. But then, in a split second, a third option revealed itself.

Title: order 66-S Author: disco shop girl Status: complete Rating: M Summary: The order was to exterminate all Jedi: Past, Present and Future. Captain Rex has a different plan. Order 66-S: to save General Skywalker.

Title: parent-teacher conference Author: skywalkersamidala Status: complete Rating: G Summary: Anakin has to meet with the twins' second grade teacher after Leia punches a classmate in the face. But he hadn't counted on Ms. Amidala being quite so pretty.

Title: pas de deux Author: catiiasofia & misschrisdaae Status: complete Rating: M Summary: When Padmé Amidala and Anakin Skywalker meet at their mutual friends' house party, the sparks immediately fly, resulting in a one night stand that both of them want to be the start of something more. Except it turns out that Padmé works at the ballet company Anakin just took over. And Anakin is in the middle of a very heated divorce as he tries to gain custody of his daughter Leia. With pressure coming at them from their private and professional lives, making their fledgling relationship work will prove the biggest role of a lifetime.

Title: the path of the dark Author: catiiasofia & misschrisdaae Status: complete Rating: T Summary: Vader triumphs. Padmé resists. Series:Three Paths Not Followed. Series: The Darker Path.

Title: perfect Author: skywalkersamidala Status: complete Rating: G Summary: The war is over, Luke and Leia are five years old, and Anakin and Padmé finally have the peaceful life and big family they've always dreamed of. But their life is about to get a little less peaceful and their family a little bigger.

Title: perfect strangers Author: catiiasofia & misschrisdaae Status: complete Rating: R Summary: Anakin Skywalker meets a masked angel at a Halloween costume ball, and the two of them hook up for the best night of his life. But when the morning comes, she is nowhere to be found. Padmé Amidala forgot to get the name of a guy she hooked up with at Halloween before running out for work on November 1. A few weeks later, she realizes she's pregnant. Two perfect strangers, certain their paths are never going to cross again. Oops.

Title: pipe dream Author: skywalkersamidala Status: complete Rating: T Summary: Padmé's new plumber is the most attractive human being she's ever laid eyes on, so naturally, she keeps faking plumbing emergencies so she can keep seeing him.

Title: pocket full of sand Author: philthestone Status: complete Rating: T Summary: “I’m Leia Skywalker,” she says, and there is something unfathomably life-changing about that little declaration. “We’re here to rescue you!” Luke remembers the circumstances of his mother's arrest with a frustrating amount of clarity. AU series where Anakin never falls, Padme is a spy in the senate, and the dynamic duo of Force Sensitive twins don't know they're related.

Title: purgatory Author: helent Status: complete Rating: T Summary: A newly dead Anakin Skywalker wakes in a new world - given the appearance of his 23 year-old self. However, the self-sacrifice that ended his life has also given Anakin an unexpected boon that he isn't sure he can accept. Worse, it comes with conditions that might just be impossible to meet. A moment of redemption is one thing, but a full reformation another entirely.

#anidala #star wars #sw #fic recs #sw fic recs #fanfic #fanfiction #onlyanidala fic recs #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #sw fanfic #sw fic

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alicanta77 · 4 years ago

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Chapter 3: Skewered Reality

Pairing: y/n x Jeno

Themes: mutant au, angst, fluff

Warnings: fighting, violence, death, character death, blood, descriptions of injury, swearing

Words: 10k

tag list: @hiqhkey @soondaengie @lebrookestore

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Finale

——————————————————————————

You hadn’t slept. You had no idea how long you had been travelling for, but you guessed it was about an hour, and your eyes had never left the single spot on the ground that they were focused on. If you let your eyes wander, then you were afraid your thoughts would wander too. And if your thoughts began to wander you knew exactly where they would take you.

Back to the destroyed city. Back to Hyuck and Chenle. Back to their deaths.

You couldn’t see that again.

The truck suddenly lurched to the side in a stop, throwing you into the wall next to you. The six of you immediately jumped up, your instincts kicking in as you prepared for a fight. There were two bangs on the outside of the door that kept you inside the truck and it swung open. Your arms flew up to protect you, ready to stop anything that may be coming for you, until you were greeted with Jimin’s confused face.

‘Sorry... It was a bit of a shaky stop, but we’re here.’ He extended a hand to the closest person to him, which just happened to be you. ‘Let’s get you kids into the safe haven.’

Relief flooded your system at the sight of your ally and you felt all the previous tension in the truck dissolve. You reached out and accepted his outstretched hand. He squeezed it lightly for comfort and you sent him a thankful smile as you climbed out of the truck. Your feet hit the ground gently and you looked up to observe your surroundings.

What you saw took your breath away.

In front of you lay a huge building. While it looked to be only around two floors tall, it was long, and you could see a few smaller buildings to the back left of it.

You heard small gasps escape the other boys as they saw what you were staring at. None of you could believe it, this place was so much more any of you had ever expected. It had obviously been damaged by the radiation, as there were small piles of rubble to your side, showing where smaller buildings had collapsed, and many of the windows were blown out, but it was still mesmerising.

‘It used to be something to marvel at. It’s slightly run down, but it still works perfectly.’ Jimin informed you, gesturing forwards for you to head inside.

You approached the door, two guards opening it for you and immediately attempting to usher you all inside. You felt a hand on your lower back, guiding you forwards and, despite your nerves, you entered the building.

---

Jimin led the group of you, walking in front of you all as he brought you into the main room. It seemed to be some sort of communal room as there were groups of people standing around chatting, and even a pool table in the corner. Your steps almost faltered, you were so taken aback.

You could tell from the gasps and whispers that came from the rest of the group that they were all feeling a similar way to you. Never in any of your wildest dreams, did you think you would ever make it to a place like this.

Jimin turned around, chuckling as he took in your awed expression.

‘It’s not much, but it's better than nothing. And I’m sure better than being locked up like animals in that facility too.’

He held both his arms out to the side, as everybody else began to gather around you.

‘Welcome to the Orb.’

With that, everybody burst into applause, making you jump slightly. They came forwards, clapping you on the shoulder and congratulating you for escaping. You couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped your lips, hearing the happy sounds coming from your friends as well, as you all enjoyed the unfamiliar feeling of being looked after and protected. The unfamiliar feeling of being someplace safe.

‘Excuse us for being excited to see you, we’ve been trying to get you out of that godforsaken place for longer than we remember!’ A woman to your right said as she rubbed your shoulder gently. You smiled up at her, comforted by her words and touch.

Jimin laughed, stepping back into your line of sight.

‘Everybody here has dedicated their lives to protecting you and breaking you out. And we will all continue to do this for as long as we can. But, the battle isn’t over. The facility is still out there, with details and research on you, and the only way to fully end that is to shut it down. So, that’s what we’re going to do!’

Cheers rose up again from the crowd at his words, and it was clear that every person here wanted the exact same thing as you, to end this nightmare. And they would be willing to do anything to help you do it.

---

After a welcome that left the six of you overwhelmed and a little emotional, Jimin had proceeded to give you a tour. He’d shown you the main office where he works, the dining hall, the kitchen, the multiple communal spaces and your rooms. Each of you had your own room, with a large bed, and various books and games lying around in it. You walked out after inspecting your room and just as you approached the group, you heard Jeno ask a question.

‘Is there a place where we can use our powers? Safely?’

Jimin nodded and began to walk, the rest of you getting used to following him. You recognised various doors and hallways as you passed, already trying to memorise what you could of the complicated layout.

‘One important thing to know about this whole place, is that we have an open door policy. That means you are free to walk into any room and ask any question you want. Nothing is off limits for you here, and we want you to feel as at home as you can.’

‘Any room?’ Renjun questioned, all of you unable to believe the freedom you were given.

‘Any room at all!’

It was only then that you realised Jimin was leading you all out of the facility and taking you outside. You subconsciously moved closer to Jeno, his hand reaching out for yours and squeezing it comfortingly. You were led around to the back of the facility where there was a small building. Jimin brought you inside and you were faced with 8 doors.

‘Each door leads to a room personally tailored to your needs. We’ve spent years creating this space for you.’ Jimin explained and you all drifted towards your own doors.

Each door had a different word on the front of it, describing the ability it was designed for. You passed what you knew was Jeno’s room, reading the engraved “Atmokinesis” and came to yours. You stood in front of the white door, staring at the word “Telekinesis” that glared back at you. This power managed to somehow be everything you had, whilst also being the reason that you had nothing.

You turned your head to your right, noticing how none of you were standing by that door and your breath caught in your throat when you read the inscription.

“Precognition”

That was meant to be Hyuck’s room...

You looked back towards the rest of the group, their eyes split between Hyuck’s door and the door next to Renjun that was labelled “Shapeshifting”. You felt tears begin to prick your eyes at the two who had died so young and in such brutal ways.

‘We had prepared for all eight of you.’ Jimin’s sad voice came from behind you. ‘We really hoped we’d be able to save you all.... and... I’m so sorry we couldn’t.’

You squeezed your eyes shut, a few tears escaping and you quickly wiped them away before turning around. You couldn’t be here right now, the memories of your friends were too painful for any of you to face.

---

You were all sitting in Mark’s room, a heavy silence over the six of you that were left. Jimin had brought you back to the main building, telling you that lunch wouldn’t be too long and that he'd asked everyone to give you space for the time being.

‘I’m supposed to be a healer.’ Mark spoke suddenly. You turned to look at him and it was only then that you noticed the tears silently falling down his face. His eyes never lifted from his hands but he kept speaking as the rest of you listened. ‘I’m the oldest, I’m the only one with two abilities, I’m the only one with a healing ability and so far all I’ve done is watch as two of our group have been murdered.’

You flinched at his words, the reality of them hitting you like a truck. You shook your head at the older boy.

‘Mark you can’t say that. It’s not your fault, none of this is. I could have pulled Hyuck and Chenle down behind a wall to protect them. All of us could have done something, but none of us did, and now... they’re dead. God, I wish this wasn’t real. I wish that I could wake up from this as if it was some kind of nightmare or simulation or illusion. Maybe it would have been best if we’d never found out about the lab...’

Your voice dropped to a mumble at your final sentence, but the boys still heard it, all of them immediately disagreeing with you.

‘Y/n, you don’t mean that.’ Jeno said his eyes wide with concern.

‘Come on! It’s not like we aren’t all thinking about it!’ You pointed out. ‘If we’d never found out about the truth, we would never have tried to escape.’

'But we did escape?’ Renjun brought up, as if trying to say that that made everything worth it.

‘Did we? Did we really? Think about it. Because I don’t think we did. I don’t think we’ve escaped anything at all. They’re still coming for us. And we know first hand what they can, and are willing to do. So far, all trying to escape has done, is kill Doyoung, Ten, Hyuck and Chenle. Four people. Four deaths and it hasn’t even been a week. And it’s not going to end at those four either. People are going to keep dying until the lab gets what they want. And what they want, is us. And let’s face it, they don’t have any more use for us, so they probably don’t care if they get us dead or alive. In fact, I’m willing to bet they’re more keen on us being dead because that way we can’t cause them anymore trouble. We are putting everyone here at risk. How do we think we’re going to survive this by ourselves?’ Your small speech rendered everyone speechless. As much as they wanted to, none of them could tell you that you were wrong.

‘Because you're not by yourselves.’ Jimin’s voice cut through the atmosphere. ‘I came to tell you that lunch was ready, and I heard what you said y/n.’ He walked further into the room, looking at all of you. ‘I know you’ve lost people, but we have too. You don’t know how many times we’ve tried to get you out of that place and how many lives it cost us. But we would do it over and over again, because it is worth it to be able to give you a chance at a life outside of that torture. Every soldier here knows the risk that they’re taking, and they are all happy to take it. We know that the lab is coming to kill you, but we are here to protect you. And we will do that, gladly, for as long as we need to.’

Jimin was looking straight at you when he said that, wanting you to know that you weren’t alone. And maybe that was what scared you. Because for the first time in your life, you had an army of people behind you, people willing to die for you. But you didn’t want anyone else to die, you just wanted to live.

---

The rest of the day passed by pretty silently. Barely a word was said over lunch, all of you finding your thoughts enough company. In the afternoon you and Jeno took the time to meet some of the people at the facility, to find out who you were working with.

The worst part was, everybody seemed nice. They all cared about you, wanted you to know they were here for you, and that they would fight for you. You asked one woman why everyone was so willing when they barely knew you and her answer was still echoing around in your head hours later.

‘Don’t take offence to this, but for me, it’s almost more about fighting against what happened to you. I don’t know if you know but three hundred thousand children were killed in this quest to create the eight of you. And I lost my younger brother. In fact, most people here, lost someone to the radiation that made you. So as much as we are fighting for you, we are also fighting for those that we, and so many others have lost. Fighting against the people who would do this again if it gave them the power they crave.’

You studied the marks on your ceiling, counting how many different spots and dents there were from the years this building had been used. Jimin had told you all to get an early night, and that you would spend the next few days getting used to the routine, learning the layout and meeting everyone. He didn’t want to rush you into anything while you were still mourning.

You lay on your left side in your bed, staring at the wall next to you and feeling more alone than you were expecting to. You’d always rolled over and seen Jeno there, in fact, you couldn’t remember a night where you hadn’t gone to sleep with him next to you. You rolled onto your right side, and found yourself staring at the door. When you were in the lab, this would have been the grey walls of your cell. You wondered if anyone else was awake and thinking like you were.

Your mind kept running, the relief of being here gradually turning into guilt as you thought of Chenle and Hyuck. You bit your lip, trying to stop the tears that were brimming your eyes. You eventually threw back your duvet, deciding that you couldn’t be alone tonight.

You left your room, softly padding down the hall until you reached the door you were looking for. You gently opened it, stepping in and looking at the figure who stared back at you.

Neither you nor Jeno said anything, the tears in your eyes and small ball he was curled up into saying enough. You wasted no time in silently moving towards his bed, pulling back his covers and climbing into his open arms. He pulled you into his chest as you buried your head into his neck, the tears finally escaping.

He lowered his head to yours, staying there for a few seconds, as if debating what he should do, before he placed a feather light kiss on your head. You couldn’t see his eyes, but you could tell from the shakes of his chest that he was crying too.

The eight of you had grown up together. For years, all you had ever known was the lab, and all you had ever had by your side were the seven boys. And now two of them were dead. You had never felt this kind of heartache before, and you weren’t sure if it would ever go away.

It took you and Jeno a while to fall asleep, eventually being exhausted from the day and your heavy emotions.

---

You rolled your head from side to side, trying to stay conscious and fight the drugs that were being injected into your system.

‘No...’ You moaned out, your voice a lot quieter and less powerful than you had planned.

A doctor you didn’t recognise approached you holding another syringe. You tried to move away from him, but the restraints holding you down on the operating table prevented you from moving.

Your eyes wandered to the door, where you could see the rest of the boys watching, three guards holding Jeno to stop him from running to you. He was trying to push past them, clawing at the eye symbol on their arm. The boys all called out, trying to move forwards, pleading with the doctors to stop, to let you go. But they were ignored, the guards bringing out tasers threateningly and shouting at them to stand back.

Jeno pushed forwards again, bending over and letting out a strangled shout when the guard tased him in his stomach. You tried to reach out for him, but in your weakened state you could only stretch out a few fingers.

‘Remember y/n...’ The doctor said, pushing the needle into your neck as you winced in pain. ‘The eye sees all.’

You felt the empty syringe being withdrawn and couldn’t fight to keep your eyes open any longer, instead giving up, Jeno’s screams for you fading into the background as the darkness enveloped you.

---

You awoke with a start, a scream slipping out of your mouth as you sat bolt upright. Your sudden reaction quickly woke Jeno who was lying next to you. You had been here for a few days now, and still every night you and Jeno stayed in the same room, not quite ready to leave each other yet.

Jeno was the first out of all of you to get the nightmares. He awoke one night screaming so loudly all of the boys came running. They found Jeno shaking in your lap mumbling incoherently about the lab. The next night Jisung, Renjun and you all woke up. The night after that Mark and Jaemin had them. Tonight, it seemed to be your turn again.

You felt Jeno’s hand come up to your shoulder, rubbing it gently as he pulled you in for a hug. You heard another scream come from down the hall somewhere, one that you recognised as Renjun’s and it didn’t take long before the rest of the boys were entering your room. You had all come to a routine of going into the room of whoever had woken up and staying there for most of, if not the rest of the night. Sadly, you always found yourself able to tell who it was that was screaming, the years you spent listening to them in the lab had engraved the sounds of your friend’s pain in your memory.

The other four boys all climbed into your bed, forming a small pile of comfort as they asked about what happened in yours.

‘It was different this time...’ You said quietly.

‘How?’ Mark inquired, tilting his head at you.

‘I don’t know, but last time felt like a flashback. As in, I remembered it happening in real life, but this time, I don’t remember it...’ You admitted. You recited your dream for the boys in as much detail as you could, especially making sure to mention the doctor you didn’t remember. ‘If it’s a real memory, I just don’t know why I’m suddenly remembering it now.’

‘Because we’re not in the lab anymore.’ Renjun spoke up suddenly. He looked around at the rest of you expectantly until Jisung asked what he meant. ‘In the lab, they gave us that serum every morning right? What if there was something in that that reinforced the memory block or something? That’s why we can only remember this now, because we’re not taking the serum anymore.’

You all shrugged, agreeing that was likely your best guess. As insane as it sounded, you wouldn’t put anything past the lab anymore. You could only wonder what other memories would come back to you over the next few days.

---

You stood in your practice room for the first time, staring at the space in front of you. There were narrow beams hanging from the ceiling, boxes of books and other small objects and other beams and platforms that got gradually narrower and less steady. However, even with all the different areas to practice different things, today you just wanted to start small by lifting and moving objects around.

You focused on the box in the corner, gently opening it and watching as the books flew out. You lifted your arms, bringing the books around you as they began to move in circles.

‘Not bad.’ Jimin’s voice made you jump, the books suddenly falling to the floor.

‘You know, you have a habit of creeping up on people.’ You said to him as Jimin laughed slightly.

‘I’ve been told I do that a lot, I’m sorry. It’s probably not what you want, to have someone appearing randomly, so I’ll try to knock more or let you know I’m here if you want?’

‘Thank you.’ You nodded, chuckling slightly. Jimin studied the books on the floor and then looked out at all the space and other opportunities you have to practice your abilities.

‘Starting small?’ He questioned, gesturing to the books on the floor. Your mouth opened to reply but you shut it again, not sure how to explain what you were feeling. ‘Or are you scared to try something bigger?’ Your eyes shot up to him and you swallowed as Jimin nodded sympathetically at you. He stepped forward reaching out an arm for your shoulders, stopping just before he touched you to ask, ‘May I?’

You nodded and he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, guiding you to the comfortable bench by the door. He sat you down, sitting next to you and he took his arm away, looking out at your practice room.

‘I understand, you know? I mean, obviously I will never fully understand how you feel, but I do understand that you’re feeling it. You’ve been told you were monsters, abominations, and having to fight and hurt people to escape the lab isn’t going to have helped your view of yourself. But I want to make sure that you know we don’t see you that way. If we thought you were monsters we wouldn’t have fought so hard to free you. We think you’re amazing, you’re the solution, you are the proof that we can fight for the good in the world again. I’m not asking you to climb up on those beams yet, but I think I do have something that may help you.’ Jimin reached into his pocket and pulled out a bright green pill.

‘Oh that looks healthy.’ You said sarcastically as he placed it in your hand. ‘Wait, do you want me to take it?’

‘Only if you want to.’ Jimin reassured you. ‘It’s radiation.’

‘You found a way to put radiation into a pill? Is that even possible?’ You turned it over in your fingers, studying the small object.

‘Yes, it took our scientists years, and we had Ten sending us information from the lab. He had to break into the doctor’s office to find their files. We learnt that, since the radiation is what gave you your powers, consuming radiation in some form, can enhance them.’

You stared at Jimin incredulously. ‘So you know I’m afraid to use my powers and you give me something that will make me more powerful?’

‘No, I’m giving you the chance to see that you are so much more than what they made you for.’ Jimin closed your hand around the pill. ‘Do with it what you will, and if you take it right now, or choose to never take it at all, it’s still okay. It’s completely up to you.’

With that Jimin stood, heading back towards the door. He paused for a second to turn back to you and nod before leaving. You opened your hand and stared at the green pill laying on your palm. A thousand thoughts ran through your mind.

How long would the pill last? Were the effects permanent? How much would it increase your abilities?

You were starting to wish that Jimin had stayed so that you could ask him these questions.

You lifted the pill up to the light, staring it down before finally making a decision. You placed it in your mouth, took a quick sip of water and swallowed. You took a deep breath, sinking down into the chair as you waited to feel something. You still weren’t sure if it was the right thing to do, but you decided to take a risk.

After a few minutes you still weren’t feeling anything and you started to wonder if the pill had no effect. Your eyes drifted back to the books that still lay discarded on the floor. You stood, walking back into the middle of them and raised your hands.The books began to gently lift, you closed your eyes and breathed out, focusing your mind before bringing your arms in small circles. The books swirled around you, never hitting each other and instead dancing around them.

You opened your eyes, seeing what you were doing and smiled gently. You raised your hands even more and the books shot towards the ceiling, drawing patterns in the air. You brought your hands together, pulling all the books into a circle in the middle, before suddenly jerking them to the sides, hearing that satisfying sound of paper ripping as the books tore to shreds.

The books turned into a mess of whole pages, each one still in perfect condition, just now separate from the book it used to belong to. They began to come back towards you, swirling around and gaining speed as if it were a whirlpool. You felt your clothes and hair begin to move upwards with the wind that was created and you closed your eyes, relishing in the feeling of freedom. You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your chest.

And then suddenly, you stopped it, keeping the pages exactly where they were, but static, enclosing you in a world of words. You left them there and just took a second to breathe. Even after doing that, you weren’t out of breath, and weren't tired in the slightest. You wanted more, wanted to do more, feel more. And you would, but not yet.

You gently lowered the pages to the ground, them forming a perfect circle around you. You stepped out of them, thinking for a second before focusing your mind once more and imagining them all going back to the book they belonged to. Obviously you couldn’t fix the damage, but it was the best you could do. The pages floated back, falling into the empty covers in the correct order, and then the partially repaired books drifted back towards the box.

You walked towards the door, turning back to look at the practice room behind you and as much as you tried to fight it, you couldn’t stop the small smile that stretched across your face. Maybe there was a good use for your powers.

You wandered out of your room, closing the door behind you before facing the corridor. Jimin was stood against a wall waiting for you and he smiled once you left.

‘You and Jaemin are the final ones, I was just waiting for you both to come out.’

At that moment Jaemin’s door opened and he emerged. He looked up, noticing you standing there, and began to walk towards you.

‘Lunch is almost over, you guys may want to hurry.’ Jimin informed you and you both nodded before heading off.

---

By the time you had arrived at the dining hall, lunch was over, but one of the guys who worked in the kitchen offered to make you a sandwich each. The two of you were waiting outside for them to be finished and you were studying Jaemin silently.

On the way over you had tried to make conversation with him, but had gotten only short answers in response. This wasn’t like Jaemin to be this quiet and brush you off, and you were starting to get worried.

‘Jaemin?’ You asked and he looked up at you. ‘Is everything okay?’

‘Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I’ve just had a couple of things on my mind.’

Normally you would let it go, but this time you pressed him a bit more.

‘Like what?’

Jaemin looked up at you again, this time slower. He bit his lip, clearing debating whether he should tell you or not.

‘There’s just some recent things that have happened that’s got me questioning some things.’ He explained vaguely, so you pushed him a bit more.

‘What kind of things are you questioning?’

‘Here.’ Jaemin’s answer wasn’t what shocked you. What shocked you was the certainty behind his words. Whatever doubts he had about this place, he must have had them for a while to have that confidence in them. You nodded at him, encouraging him to keep going. He opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly the cook arrived, holding out two sandwiches and handing them to you with a friendly smile.

You smiled back, not failing to notice how Jaemin’s seemed a lot more forced than normal.

‘We can’t talk here, come on.’ With that, Jaemin nodded down the hall and led you back towards your rooms.

He walked fast, you jogging slightly to keep up with him, yet his pace never faltered. He led you into your room, checked to make sure the corridor was empty before firmly shutting the door behind him. He whirled around to face you and you prepared to ask him what the hell was going on, but he beat you to it.

‘How did they know Ten was dead?’ He asked you desperately and you stuttered, trying to take in what he was saying.

‘What- What do you mean?’

‘When we first met Jimin, he told us about Ten right?’ Jaemin asked, and you nodded remembering the moment clearly. ‘Exactly, and that was one of the main things that made us trust him. But then I started thinking, how could he possibly know he was dead? He had only been dead for a day by that point.’

‘Jaemin, they were probably expecting to hear from him and figured it out when he didn’t call.’ You tried to calm him down but Jaemin shook his head frantically.

‘No, see, I thought of that. But, remember when Ten and Doyoung were telling us about the initial escape plan, Jisung asked if we could contact the group and Ten said no. He said they know we’re on our way and what to look for, so it would be safer to limit conversations since they could be traced. The only way they could have found out that Ten was dead would be if they had contact with the lab. And let’s say they did, but it was with someone they put there. That’s safe right?’ You nodded again, and Jaemin continued, pulling at his hair slightly as he spoke. ‘But that doesn’t make sense because the only people on our side were Doyoung and Ten and they’re both dead. If someone else was on our side why wouldn’t Ten tell us about them? That means this place has had contact with the lab, and if they have, we aren’t safe here. Furthermore, Ten told us we would be moved on and there hasn’t been any mention of that. What if this is just a holding place for us to stay until the lab comes and gets us again?’

‘Ok, Jaemin, I need you to breathe right now.’ You approached him, placing your hands on his shoulders to try and calm your friend down. Jaemin had been talking fast, trying to say everything on his mind and now he was out of breath. ‘Look, yes, some of your points have made sense but I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for it. Plus, if this place was part of the lab, why wouldn’t they have come to get us already? We’ve been here for days, why wait that long when they could just arrive in the middle of the night and get us when sleeping?’ You kept your voice soft, feeling Jaemin gradually calm down. ‘Let’s not be hasty alright, let’s stay calm, but also, we’ll keep one eye open for anything strange, just in case.’

Jaemin took a deep breath, finally relaxing. ‘Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ll be fine, I’m just finding it hard to feel safe anywhere and I... god we could use Hyuck right now.’

A sad silence fell over the two of you as you remembered the sunshine boy. Your eyes drifted, finally landing on a pack of playing cards lying on a shelf. You walked towards them, picked them up and waved them at Jaemin.

‘Come one, let’s distract ourselves.’ You proposed, Jaemin smiling at you as you began to deal the cards out between the two of you.

When you were back at the lab, you all used to have a small bookcase in your rooms, each of which holding a few books and a deck of cards to keep you entertained. Obviously, after a few years of reading the same books day after day they get a bit boring, so the cards were your main source of entertainment.

However, it didn’t take long for you to burn through all the games you knew, and, after a short while you found yourselves getting bored. You threw down your cards, letting out a sigh as you lost to Jaemin once again. He chuckled at your irritation as he finished the last bite of his sandwich.

‘There are some perks to having a mind reading power.’ He gloated, laughing again at your expression of disbelief.

‘You cheat!’ You gasped, groaning out in annoyance as Jaemin searched for something to do.

He rolled onto his stomach, looking under your bed and let out a small shout of excitement when he found something. He brought his arm out, his hand wrapped around what looked like another deck of cards.

‘Tarot cards apparently.’ Jaemin mumbled, flipping the pack over to look for instructions. ‘I have no idea how to do this, do you?’

‘Umm, unfortunately not... but we could just spread them out and pick one or something?’ You suggested, shrugging your shoulders. Jaemin nodded, as he unpacked the cards and spread them on the ground.

You looked at the line of cards in front of you, studying the backs of them and tracing your fingers over them. You eventually came to settle on one, pulling it from the pack and holding it to your chest so that you didn’t see what it was. Jaemin did the same, grinning at you and telling you to turn yours around first.

‘Ohhhh, “The Lovers”.’ Jaemin whistled at you, raising his eyebrows teasingly. You turned the card over studying the design, unable to stop the small smile on your face. ‘Thinking of anyone in particular y/n?’

Your eyes shot towards the boy in front of you who was clearly enjoying this.

‘No.’ You mumbled out, your face heating up as you both knew that wasn’t true.

‘Alright I’ll stop the teasing for now. What’s mine?’

Jaemin flipped his card over and your face fell, your brow furrowing as disbelief came over you. You blinked a couple of times, reading and rereading the card he held to make sure that you had gotten it right.

‘Y/n?’ Jaemin prompted, obviously confused as to what was taking you so long.

You swallowed, the archaically styled letters glaring back at you.

‘Death.’

---

You let out a scream of frustration as the book you were holding in mid air not only tore apart, but literally burst into pieces. You could not have been more thankful for the radiation as the extra power was helping you release some pent up anger.

You stared at the carnage on the floor, shreds of paper surrounded you, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty at destroying so many books. However, this guilt just fuelled even more irritation and you grabbed the closest thing you could see, the giant box which the books came in, and obliterated it.

You leant over, resting your hands on your knees as you caught your breath. You were experimenting with new things every day, but it was tiring you out. However, you couldn’t help but think that Jimin had been right, the more you experiment, the less afraid you become of your powers.

You heard another door buzz, signalling that someone else had finished and decided to call it a day, jogging to your door to catch whoever it was who was leaving. You slipped out of your room, finding the corridor empty. You shrugged, and instead headed back up to your room for a shower.

---

You stepped out of the bathroom, using your towel to dry your hair as best you could and almost jumped out of your skin when you saw someone in your room.

‘Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.’ Jeno chuckled at your expression as you threw your towel at him.

‘It’s not really your fault, I guess I’ve been a little on edge today.’ You said, approaching him.

‘Are you okay?’ He asked, his eyebrows furrowing in worry.

‘Yeah, yeah I’m fine.’ You reassure him. ‘Just habit I guess.’

Jeno nodded, understanding the feeling perfectly. He closed the distance between the two of you, comfortingly wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

‘I know.’ He whispered into your hair. ‘It’s hard to settle down, but y/n we’re going to be okay. This place... it’s the first time in my life I’ve ever felt safe. And I don’t want you to be afraid of it. Nothing can reach us in here, I promise.’

‘Okay.’ You whispered back, choosing not to tell him about what you and Jaemin discussed. In fact, the whole conversation slipped from your mind the second Jeno hugged you. All you could focus on was his breathing and the way that his arms held you tightly, keeping you sheltered from any evil in this world.

He pulled away slightly, leaning back so that he could look into your eyes, his eyes somehow holding the entire universe in them.

‘No matter what happens, I’ll keep you safe.’ He promised and you found it impossible to take your eyes off him as you replied.

‘I know.’

His hands lightly traced their way down your body, moving from your shoulders to your waist and gently grabbing you there. Yours travelled up his chest, eventually winding around his neck as you both stood in each other’s embrace.

You thought you’d be nervous. You thought that ever being in this position with Jeno would make you embarrassed but you didn’t feel that way. Instead it just felt right, like somehow, this was exactly where you were supposed to be.

Jeno was the first to break eye contact, this gaze slipping from your eyes and onto your lips before moving back up again. You copied his movements, glancing down at his lips before looking back up at him through your eyelashes.

He leaned down gently, stopping quickly to let you push him away, but you nodded, instead moving up to meet him. Jeno saw you move towards him and reacted, closing the gap between the two of you and gently pressing his lips to yours.

He pulled away too soon, leaving you wanting more as he quietly asked:

‘Was that okay?’

Instead of saying yes, you leaned back into him, kissing him again. His arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled you closer, kissing you back with more passion.

You pressed your body into his, as if you were trying to eliminate any space between the two of you, as you got lost in him. You eventually had to pull away, the need to breathe breaking you out of the daze you were in.

You and Jeno both kept your eyes closed, and he gently rested his forehead on yours as you both caught your breath. You eventually forced your eyes open, blinking a couple of times and found Jeno already staring at you, taking in every detail on your face.

‘You’re so beautiful.’ He breathed, bringing his hand up to your face to stroke your cheek.

You smiled up at him, leaning in for another soft kiss, sighing as your lips met.

If you’d thought that hugging Jeno felt right, then kissing him felt as though it had been designed by the heavens.

Jeno wrapped his arms back around your waist, lifting you just enough to be able to fall on the bed behind you. You let out a laugh as your back hit the mattress. Jeno’s arms came around your body, securely keeping you close to him as you both got comfortable.

Jeno was lying on his back, with you half on top of him as his arms wrapped around your shoulders and waist, and you placed your head in his neck. He tilted his head towards you, sighing into your hair before kissing you on the forehead.

You had no idea how long it took you to fall asleep, time having no importance to you while you were curled up on Jeno’s chest. You weren’t sure if it was the heat radiating off his body, the sound of his heart beat and rhythm of his soft breaths, or the way his hand was stroking your hair, but you soon drifted off. Jeno fell asleep after you, whispering a confession that you were just awake enough to hear, but too far gone to reply or properly register what he said.

‘I think I love you.’

---

You woke up to a constant banging on your door, pulling you harshly out of the comfortable hold that sleep had on you. You lifted your head up, too drowsy to open your eyes fully as you croaked towards the door, asking who it was.

Jisung’s voice echoed through your room, saying that you slept through the morning and to come and get lunch. Your eyes sprung open at that, confused as to how you had slept through the whole morning, and you tried to sit up, failing when the two arms that were wrapped around you refused to let you go.

Jeno let out a small groan, pulling you back into his chest and curling around you more.

‘Where are you going?’ He mumbled as you chuckled at his behaviour.

‘Turns out we slept through the whole morning, we need to get lunch and then head off to train.’ You answered, finding it incredibly difficult to tear yourself away from the boy next to you. ‘God, I can’t believe it... waking up at midday...’

‘And without that goddamn alarm.’ Jeno muttered, his voice slightly muffled but the annoyance was clear in his words. ‘I swear to god, I wanted to tear that thing off the wall and break it into pieces every time it woke us up in the morning.’

You laughed at that, memories of mornings in the lab clouding your mind. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but also felt like just yesterday at the same time. You supposed the latter was more accurate.

Eventually Jeno let go of you, and the two of you quickly got up and dressed, before hurrying down to the dining room for lunch. You grabbed your meals before heading to the table where the other four boys sat, already talking about their days.

Jisung was the one speaking when you both arrived.

‘I swear, I never thought that I would ever be able to lift and throw the things I am now with this radiation.’ He exclaimed excitedly and Renjun nodded in agreement.

‘I’m holding illusions that are so much more lifelike and for much longer times. The other day, I added moving beings into it, layering other aspects to make it more realistic.’

‘That’s insane Renjun!’ Jeno breathed as Renjun nodded rapidly at his friend. Mark soon joined in the conversation, speaking about how much his healing abilities had improved.

The four of them were quickly lost in their discussion, telling stories of their experiences in training, what they hoped to accomplish and how safe they felt here. While you were happy for them and excited for what you would experiment with today, you couldn’t help but remember the conversation you and Jaemin had had recently.

His doubts echoed around in your head, and one look at his uneasy face at the table told you everything you needed to know.

He wasn’t feeling safe.

---

You took a deep breath, calming your mind before you opened your eyes and stared at what was in front of you. You just had to do this once and then you were finished for the day.

You brought your hand up to your forehead, wiping away the small amount of sweat there, and planted your feet into the ground. You ignore how high up you were, instead focusing on the planks suspended from the ceiling that you were preparing to jump across.

You knew the radiation was on your side, and you took off. You began at a run, not wanting to stay on each beam for too long. You knew that they would swing and it would ruin your balance, so you planned on moving across them as quickly as possible.

You jumped off the edge, sailing easily towards the first beam, using your ability to keep it steady and you ran across. You reached the end, letting go of the beam and instead focusing your mind on your feet. You pushed yourself higher, clearing the second gap and landed softly, before running again.

You barely stopped moving, constantly leaping from one area to another, and keeping the beam steady until you jumped, when you gave yourself help and then focusing back on the beam to prepare for your landing.

You were approaching the final jump, the furthest one you would have to do. You narrowed your eyes, determination taking over and you picked up speed. You let go of the beam, jumping with all your might and pushed yourself up. The final platform sailed towards you and landed. You bent your knees, falling into a roll to redirect the leftover momentum.

You came to standing, staring back at what you had just accomplished and letting out a laugh. Pride flooded your system as you made your way down from the heights and out of your training room.

As you left, you saw Jaemin’s door open at the same time as yours. You almost ran towards him, ready to tell him about what you had done, but you never got the chance.

He immediately grabbed you by the wrist, pulling you away from the training rooms.

‘Jaemin? What’s wrong?’ You asked, but he didn’t reply.

Jaemin walked faster than he ever had before, only slowing down when you passed someone so he didn’t draw attention to the two of you. You almost stumbled multiple times, but still he dragged you straight into your room and slammed the door behind him.

You recognised his behaviour from the time he told you his fears about this place, so you knew what was coming.

‘I can’t read anyone’s mind.’ He spat, his expression a mixture of anger, confusion and fear.

‘What?’ You breathed. ‘How is that possible?’

‘I don’t know...’ Jaemin shook his head. ‘I’ve been trying to read their minds ever since that thought about Ten crossed my mind, and it’s not possible. But do you know the only other time I couldn’t read someone’s mind? Back in the lab. I never knew why I couldn’t read the guards minds, until one day one of them passed me with their helmet off and I heard everything. I think there’s something in their armour or helmet that disrupts the frequency and I can’t hear their thoughts.’

‘Ok... but Jaemin, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything about this place. The building is old and damaged, maybe something in it that disrupts the frequency.’ You offered. Even though what Jaemin was saying made you nervous, you didn’t want to freak out unless you needed to.

‘Ok, then answer me this: why can I still hear your thoughts? Why do I know about how you and Jeno have spent almost every night together since we arrived? Why do I know what you did in your training today?’ Jaemin challenged and you fell silent. ‘And let’s say it means nothing, just for the sake of it, what do you think these people have to hide? What can they not tell us? Aren’t you tired of constantly being kept in the dark? with this and Ten I don’t - I can’t-’ Jaemin paused for a second, taking a deep breath to calm himself. ‘Y/n, you know me. You know that I’m not someone who irrationally overthinks without reason. You know I would never be saying this if it wasn’t serious. And I’m telling you, something doesn’t feel right about this place.’

You breathed out, taking a step backwards and sitting down on your bed. Your legs felt as though they had turned to jelly. The same, however, could not be said for Jaemin who was pacing around your room, still listing things that were on his mind.

‘Also, there’s the similarities between our days here and at the lab. The training, the meals, the solidarity - it’s the same things, just in a bigger space so we don’t notice it.’ You furrowed your eyebrows at that, not entirely convinced by his point, but Jaemin noticed your expression and kept talking. ‘Think about it, have you ever been able to go into the dining room, or the training room when you weren’t told you could? And the training... it’s so similar to when we were at the lab. I did distance training today and I barely made it though, I kept having flashbacks to the lab. What did you do?’

‘Agility.’ You whispered, not wanting to admit to yourself that it was true, but deep down you knew it was.

This facility was just an extension of the lab.

Your body began to shake, the reality of the situation setting in and you thought back to your time here, and tried to find any moments that you should have questioned or thought twice about. Then it dawned on you.

‘The radiation...’ Jaemin eyes shot towards you, begging you to continue what you were saying. ‘There was something Jimin said to me the day he gave me the radiation pill. I thought nothing of it at the time but now- oh god. He said that Ten had to break into the doctor’s office to find the files, but why would Ten have to break in if Doyoung was there?’

‘Because Ten and Doyoung weren’t working for this place.’ Jaemin sighed as the mystery of how you ended up here began to fall into place.

‘Wait-’ You held up a hand. ‘But why would Ten tell us to come here then?’

For the first time since you had entered your room, Jaemin stopped moving, his feet coming to an abrupt stop underneath him. You both sat in silence for a few seconds, wondering if this had been the plan all along, if everything, you finding out about the lab, your escape, Doyoung’s death, Ten’s death, if it had all been some elaborate scheme. Then Jaemin’s jaw dropped and he whirled around to face you.

‘He never said here... Ten never specified where we were going, he just told us to go. He must have meant some place else, because this isn’t a safe haven at all. It’s just another place for us to train while they record some more data, this time with the effect of radiation.’

Your head was spinning, all these new revelations swimming around, making you dizzy.

‘The lab hasn’t come to bring us back...’

‘Because they didn’t need to. We never left.’ Jaemin finished your sentence.

A heavy silence fell over the two of you as your eyes were finally opened to the truth. Doyoung and Ten were on your side, they had done everything, given their lives so that the two of you could escape the lab. And you had unknowingly run straight back to it.

‘What can we do?’ Jaemin asked quietly and you looked up at him.

‘We have to tell the others. Whatever we do about this, we do it together.’ You stated and Jaemin nodded.

‘You’re right. So let’s go?’ You nodded at his question. It was not going to be an easy conversation but you both knew that you couldn’t keep the other boys in the dark.

You both stood and walked towards the door when it suddenly opened, and Jimin appeared. You both jumped out of your skin, staring at the man in front of you with the smile that he always wore staring you both down.

‘There you are Jaemin! Sorry I didn’t mean to make you jump, it looks like I’ve interrupted something, but we’ve got a busy day tomorrow. You’re going to head outside to practice your abilities without the restraints of those rooms, so you’re going to want to get a good night's sleep.’ You both nodded in response, neither of you trusting yourself to say a word, or to even move. ‘So, Jaemin, head back to your room.’

‘I-’ Jaemin swallowed. ‘I just need a few more minutes.’

‘No. Back to your room.’ Jimin said sharply, in a tone that reminded you painfully of the guards in the lab. It was only there for a second however, the tension soon melting off him and being replaced with that sickly sweet smile.

Jaemin turned to face you, a million questions in his eyes and you placed your hands on his shoulders.

‘Tomorrow then, together, we’ll do it in the morning. All of us.’ You told him, keeping it as vague as possible since Jimin was standing right there.

Jaemin nodded, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you in for a hug. You were confused but complied, understanding what he was doing when he began to whisper into your ear.

‘I need you to promise me something. No matter what happens, remember I love you. No matter where we go, or what happens to any of us. I love you. Thank you for being my friend.’

Jaemin pulled away from you and was quickly guided out of your room by Jimin. He looked over his shoulder at you one last time and you nodded at him, not knowing why he wanted you to promise that, but something about the final look in his eyes unnerved you.

You walked back towards your bed, falling onto it and imagining the conversation you were going to have to have the next day. You stare at the door, waiting for Jeno to arrive, but he never did.

You guessed he had been told by Jimin to stay in his own room and, since he still trusted him and this place, Jeno would have no reason to say no. You had no idea how you were going to break the news to the other boys. They felt safe here, and, even though you knew they weren’t, and you knew that taking away the only safe place they had ever known would break them.

It was starting to feel like it had all been for nothing. It turns out you were right when you said you had never escaped the lab, but you hadn’t known just how right you had been. But you had to escape, you had to tell the boys the truth. You owed it to them, you owed it to Doyoung and Ten and you owed it to Chenle and Hyuck.

Yet that final look in Jaemin’s eyes as he looked back at you over his shoulder haunted you. For some reason, you had a terrible feeling that finding out about this place wouldn’t be the end to your journey, but instead the beginning of the next part of it.

It took you hours, but eventually you fell into a very uneasy sleep.

---

You woke up to the sound of someone knocking on your door. Once you registered what that sound was, you stumbled out of bed and ran towards your door, yanking it open and expecting to see Jaemin on the other side.

Instead you were greeted by a member of the Orb who informed you of the day’s events.

‘We’re planning to leave just before lunch.’ He finished and you thanked him before closing the door again.

You wasted no time, getting dressed as quickly as you could and making your way down to Jaemin’s room. You knew you had to tell the other boys about it as soon as possible, they couldn’t go outside and show the lab the full extent of what they could do.

You knocked on Jaemin’s door, confused when you got no response. You turned the handle, opening it slightly and peering inside. However, he wasn’t there. You turned away from his room, trying to figure out where he would be. You checked the bathrooms, the kitchens, the dining room, the communal areas and even the other boys’ rooms, but there was still no sign of Jaemin.

You wandered the halls you had become increasingly familiar with, constantly turning your head to see if you could spot Jaemin anywhere. You were starting to get increasingly confused, unable to think of any room you hadn’t checked. You paused, leaning against a wall and resting your head back on it as you wracked your brain.

You were lost in thought, mentally mapping out the layout of the Orb in an attempt to find a room you may have missed when your eyes came into focus on a door. You remembered it from your initial tour, it was brushed off as nothing more than just a closet that’s rarely in use, but something in you was telling you to open it.

You stepped forwards, checking around you to make sure that you were alone, and your hand gripped the handle. You pushed down and rattled the door, letting out a small groan of frustration when it turned out to be locked. You took your hand off the knob, instead placing it over the keyhole, and gently twisting it to the left. You heard the lock open with a satisfying click and you pushed the door open and you looked inside.

You almost slammed the door shut again straight away. Your hand immediately shot up to cover your mouth and it took everything in you not to throw up at the sight in front of you. As horrific as the scene was, and as much as you wanted to look away, you couldn’t find a way to tear your eyes away from it.

The room was small, dimly lit by the individual lightbulb hanging overhead, and inside it lay a single chair. But it was what was on the chair that caused your violent reaction. Sat there, on the chair, was a dead body. The blood that fell from their neck covered their clothes and it was clear that they had been in this position when they were killed. Their hands were brought behind them, tied behind the chair to prevent them from moving and their feet were similarly bound to the chair legs. When your gaze wandered upwards, past the fatally deep slash in their neck that you could tell cost them their life, to the dull, empty eyes of the victim, you couldn’t help the guttural scream that tore from your throat as you started into his lifeless face.

It was Jaemin.

108 notes · View notes

whumpzone · 4 years ago

Text

Tomas and Rowe - Part 8

this chapter was a trial and a half to clean up but the support from you guys gave me the final boost i needed! youre all the best

also… no harm to people with eyebrow piercings. i personally really like them lmao. i just needed an example of something that would be considered a bit ‘out there’ in your typical boring office :’D

Masterpost

taglist: @sola-whumping @just-another-whumper @oceanthesarcasamfox @looptheloup @briars7 @black-polarf @zipadeedooda-drabbles @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @rosesareviolentlyread @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @jazz-0307 @kestrelsparverius @whumpsy-daisies @whumpersworld @memoriesneverforget @sky-or-something-idfk @ghostcomit (just ask if you want to be tagged!)

CW: pet whump, dehumanisation, alcohol + descriptions of being drunk, swearing

‘’Ah, fuck,’’ muttered Tomas, his eyes hovering over the calendar pinned to the fridge with a magnet. Rowe looked up from where he was kneeling on a thin cushion- a compromise since he wouldn’t sit on the furniture.

‘’Master?’’

‘’You know when you get so used to seeing something that you stop really looking at it?’’ he said as he picked up the two freshly-made mugs of tea and walked over to Rowe, ‘’Turns out my old workmate is coming over for drinks tonight. Totally forgot.’’

He set Rowe’s mug on the floor beside him, looking over his shoulder at the paper he was writing on. ‘’Good work. That R is backwards though, watch out for that. Easy mistake to make.’’

‘’Th-thank you, Master, I’ll do better.’’

‘’You’re doing fine,’’ he said, patting his shoulder gently. Rowe flinched, as always, but only slightly. ‘’I’ll have to see what the booze situation in the fridge is. I hope I don’t have to go to the shop. I just made tea.’’

‘’Is he coming for food too, Master?’’

Tomas shook his head, looking at Rowe. What the fuck am I going to do with you tonight?

Ever since he had seen those cuts on Rowe, standing out against the myriad of fading bruises, scarring wounds and old burns, he hadn’t been able to let him out of his sight for very long. Luckily, Rowe hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary. Tomas supposed it was perfectly natural to keep your Pet near you, ready to submit to any command or punishment demanded of them.

‘’Nah. If it’s alright, Rowe, I’d like you to stay downstairs while he’s visiting. I might need you.’’

…

Master wants to show me off, thought Rowe proudly. Finally, this was something he understood. He was trusted to entertain Master and his friend! This was a chance to prove what a good Pet he could be.

‘’Of course, Master.’’

‘’You don’t mind?’’

Master Tomas asked the strangest things sometimes, Rowe thought. Not that he would ever dare question his Master. But he didn’t understand the point of asking for his opinion like it mattered. Still, he was good at giving the right answer and making Master happy.

‘’No, Master.’’

Sure enough, he smiled, and gave Rowe another pat on the shoulder. Rowe tried not to squirm too much- Master couldn’t have known that he was touching Rowe right where Kasia had cut him, and the pain was a good reminder that no matter how happy Master seemed with him, he wasn’t to get complacent. He did his best to smile back, and Master looked even happier.

When his old master hosted parties, it was always understood that Rowe would serve everyone present. Anyone was able to give him orders, regardless of whether or not his master was in the room. He could only assume it would be the same here.

After they’d eaten, Master went upstairs to ‘get himself looking presentable’, as he described it, and Rowe tidied up. Catching himself in the mirror by the staircase, Rowe swept his hair out of his eyes and brushed down his shirt with his hands like he’d seen Master Tomas do on occasions. Master’s friend was due any moment, so Rowe settled himself down at the back of the room, and focused on being blank, obedient, and well-behaved.

Out of the corner of his eye, Rowe could see Master straightening his shirt one last time before going to open the front door. He heard various pleasantries being exchanged, and the door clicking shut.

Rowe wouldn’t dare look up, but he couldn’t ignore the way the footsteps suddenly stopped as Adam entered the house.

‘’So what have I missed since y- whoa, you have a Pet?’’

‘’I- uh,’’ Master began. Rowe’s eyebrows twitched. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it was impossible to ignore when it was the only sound he could hear. ‘’Not really, I mean, okay, I might have. He’s not really a Pet, per se, I mean, he’s-‘’

‘’Mate, that is obviously a Pet. Don’t be embarrassed!’’

Master sighed. ‘’Okay, yeah, I’ve got a Pet.’’

Was Master ashamed of him? He shouldn’t have even listened, but something in him sank nonetheless. A pair of feet appeared on the floor before him, and then a hand grabbed his cheek, pulling his face up. He kept his eyes on the ground meekly as Adam looked him over, turning his face side to side.

‘’A real-life Pet. Never thought you were the type, Tomas.’’ Adam peered over Rowe’s shoulder. ‘’Err… no collar? He must be, uh, well trained.’’

His voice was heavy in sarcasm and questioning, and Rowe felt like he’d done something really, really, bad.

‘’He is.’’ Master Tomas said. A warning, Rowe thought to himself. He didn’t need to be told twice. He wouldn’t do anything to upset his owner on an important night.

‘’How on Earth did you afford one? Is it second-hand?’’

‘’Yeah. It was an- uh, impulse decision. I bought him off Kasia.’’

‘’That lowlife?’’ Rowe could practically see Adam’s raised eyebrow in his tone.

‘’Hey, he’s my friend!’’

‘’Come on, Tomas, we’ve all heard the rumours. He could well have sold you a defect.’’

‘’Don’t be rude. And don’t call him a defect,’’ Master Tomas gestured to Rowe, and it took everything in him to not flinch. Tonight was a test, he reminded himself. ‘’He’s right there.’’

There was a pause, and Rowe’s eyes flicked up just enough to see Adam giving Master a very disrespectful look.

‘’It’s only a Pet, mate. You’re spending too much time indoors if you think it’s gonna get hurt feelings.’’

‘’Whatever.’’ Rowe was probably mistaken, he was only a Pet after all, but something in Master’s voice sounded… shaky.

Adam laughed, and tightened his grip on Rowe’s face. ‘’Hey. You’re not listening, are you, Pet?’’

Rowe shook his head desperately, wishing the attention would shift onto something, anything else. He could feel Master’s eyes on him. Adam released his grip and patted Rowe’s cheek roughly.

‘’Go and sit down, Adam.’’

‘’Don’t have to tell me twice. I’ve been looking forward to getting some drinks in me.’’

‘’Yes, yes, hint taken. Coming right up,’’ Master laughed tightly. Rowe dropped his head back down, but Master’s feet lingered in front of him for a few seconds. Long enough that a prickle of fear ran through him. What? What is it? What have I done wrong? Is Master displeased? Do I look ugly? Is that why Master is ashamed of me? I’m not a defect, I promise. Please don’t throw me out.

Eventually, all Master did was ruffle Rowe’s hair, and walk over to join Adam.

…

The night drew on, and the neat lines of empty bottles by the sofa grew longer, and wonkier. Tomas’s head felt ten times as heavy as he slumped back, holding his newly-finished bottle of cider upside down in triumph. Adam cheered and quickly finished up his lager, clinking the two bottles together and messily trying to line them up with the rest on the floor.

‘’What else have I missed at the office?’’

‘’Ahhh…’’ Adam grunted as he thought. ‘’Georgie pierced Dennis’s eyebrow after he lost a bet.’’

‘’Oh my god.’’

‘’He looks awful!’’ Adam cried with far too much force. He fell back laughing at his own loudness, reaching for another bottle but grabbing thin air. ‘’Wuh- got any more beers mate?’’

‘’I….. think so?’’

‘’Pet!’’ Adam shouted suddenly. Tomas would have jumped if he wasn’t so drunk. Rowe appeared by Adam’s side, dropping to his knees once more. Adam batted a hand around in annoyance. ‘’Don’t bother kneeling mate, you’re just about to get back up again.’’

‘’Sir?’’ Rowe asked evenly. Tomas watched Adam warily.

‘’More beers.’’

Rowe nodded and rose gracefully. Adam turned to Tomas as he left and snorted.

‘’Its not bad, I’ll give that to you. I wish people at work called me sir.’’

‘’He’s not an ‘it’,’’ Tomas mumbled, rolling his eyes.

‘’Huh?’’ said Adam, leaning in. Before Tomas could answer, though, Rowe returned with two bottles in his hands. Tomas faltered. He knew the opinion people like Adam held on ‘Pet libbers’. Some people even considered trying to treat a Pet like a human akin to abuse. Went against their ‘natural role’, apparently. Tomas thought it was a load of shit.

‘’I said people at work call you a thick bastard,’’ said Tomas, reaching over Adam to grab the drinks from Rowe, nodding at him while he did so. Rowe retreated back to the corner of the room. Adam grinned at Tomas’s joke and playfully snatched the lager from Tomas.

‘’Well they’re about to start calling you… fucking… Pet having wanker,’’ slurred Adam, howling and fumbling with the bottle opener.

‘’Fuck you,’’ Tomas laughed, wagging a finger at him. ‘’One more crack outta you sunshine and I’ll give you an eyebrow piercing.’’

Adam snorted and the two of them fell about. Adam’s head slumped to the side, and he suddenly sat straight up.

‘’Where’s your Pet gone?’’

‘’Out of our way, idiot.’’

‘’Dude, I never even thought I’d see a Pet. At least let me have a bit of fun with it.’’

‘’What does that mean?’’

Adam ignored him. ‘’Pet!’’ he called, trying unsuccessfully to snap his fingers. Rowe again appeared and knelt among the discarded bottles.

‘’You’re drunk,’’ Tomas groaned.

‘’So are you. And I wanna put my feet up.’’

Rowe complied without hesitation. He got on his hands and knees in front of Adam, keeping his back straight and not making a sound as Adam roughly slung his legs over him.

‘’Wow, he already knew what I wanted. I bet you do this shit all the time,’’ Adam said, raising the bottle to his face. Tomas looked between Adam and Rowe. He knew Rowe’s back was still healing from the wounds his old owner had given him. Should he say something? Rowe’s face didn’t betray any pain- he looked blank, and calm, and Tomas considered how humiliated he might be if Tomas tried to step in and protect him. He’d take it as his Master not thinking he’s useful.

‘’He just-‘’ Tomas mirrored Adam, taking a drink, although his head was beginning to pound and his eyes kept closing by themselves. ‘’He mostly just helps with chores and stuff.’’

‘’Are you for real? I thought the whole point of a Pet was that you didn’t have to do any chores.’’

‘’A Pet does whatever their Master wants,’’ slurred Tomas, unsticking his lip from the inside of the bottle neck. ‘’And I want him to just- fuckin’- help.’’

‘’I’ve wanted to ask this all night,’’ Adam interjected suddenly, ‘’and now I’m drunk enough to.’’ He rolled onto his side, his feet still weighing on Rowe, and pointed his lager at Tomas. ‘’Do you- oh, I’m so embarrassed- do you torture it real bad like those people on the news? Cause, listen, no judgement if you do, I actually have a lot of stuff annoying me and it seems like a great way to get it off your chest, so…’’

Tomas grimaced. ‘’I do not.’’

‘’Alright, alright, I figured you weren’t like that. You’re a diplomatic guy.’’ Adam leant forward and slapped Rowe’s head roughly. ‘’You’re a lucky mutt! Now, let’s have another drink.’’

Adam dragged his feet off Rowe’s back to let him get up, while his latest empty bottle rolled along the floor. Tomas glanced at the clock. It was two in the morning.

‘’Here, are you tir-‘’ he was cut off as Rowe, on his walk back to Adam, caught his foot on a rogue bottle and fell crashing to the ground, the bottle in his hand smashing and beer foaming everywhere. Tomas and Adam staggered to their feet, Tomas pushing past him to pick Rowe up off the floor. He almost fell over himself; standing up suddenly had made him realise just how drunk he was. He could hardly see as he held Rowe’s elbow and lifted him up.

‘’Rowe, you good? Did any of the glass cut you?’’

‘’N-no, I’m s-s-so sorry M-Master-‘’

‘’Butterfingers!’’ howled Adam, delighted. ‘’That is gonna be a bitch to clean up. Cute nickname too. Rowe? You’re soft as hell.’’

‘’He’s hardly got butterfingers you pisshead, my whole floor is covered in bottles. I’d like to see you not trip.’’

‘’Calm down,’’ scoffed Adam, now satisfied that Rowe didn’t have any exciting injuries. He sat back down heavily. ‘’How’re you gonna punish it?’’

‘’Ugh, fuck off.’’

‘’I’m serious, mate. There’s glass everywhere.’’

Tomas’s head was ringing, his vision was blurry at best and he was pretty sure he was going to throw up.

‘’Why are you so keen to get involved?’’

‘’Because frankly Tomas you’re acting like a fuckin’ wetwipe,’’ Adam snapped, ‘’I mean, Christ, I’ll do it if you can’t.’’

Tomas had hoped Adam wouldn’t reach the point in the night where the booze made him aggressive. There was no way he was letting him hurt Rowe. An idea came to him. He knew it was a bad idea. But he was so drunk, and so desperate to sleep, that he couldn’t think of any other option.

‘’Oh I’m going to punish him alright,’’ he slurred. Rowe froze under his grip. He led him away from the glass, to the clear floor behind the sofa. ‘’I just didn’t know if you wanted to stay or not.’’

‘’Mas-Master, I-I-I’m sorry, I’m s-s-orry, please f-forgive me-‘’

‘’Be quiet, Rowe,’’ he said firmly. Rowe fell silent with a whimper.

‘’Pfft. You said you don’t torture your Pet.’’

‘’I said I don’t-‘’ Tomas fumbled with his words, ‘’-I said I don’t do it to let off steam. Rowe, take your shirt off.’’

Adam’s smile faltered as he saw the state of Rowe’s chest. Tomas tried to ignore the way Rowe was quivering below him. So there are more cuts, he noted hazily. I will deal with that….later.

‘’Turn around. Let Adam see your whip marks.’’

Rowe obeyed and Adam’s face fell.

‘’What the fuck?’’

Tomas pushed Rowe as gently as he could and Rowe sank to his knees immediately.

‘’I think I’ll find the biggest shard of glass that he just smashed and reopen some of these cuts here,’’ Tomas said, staring hard at Adam. He took a fistful of Rowe’s hair, trying his best not to yank it too hard, guiding Rowe’s head back. He could see the whites of his eyes as stared up at him in terror. ‘’You’re lucky I’m too drunk to take my belt off,’’ Tomas said to him. ‘’Since I can’t whip you, I’ll have to improvise. Adam, you got a lighter?’’

Adam didn’t answer. He stood up, taking a shaky step backwards.

‘’No lighter? No problem. I can just turn the hob on and hold his arm over it. Can’t I?’’ he let Rowe’s hair go and he bowed his head forward, trembling. ‘’Can’t I, Rowe?’’

‘’Y-yes, Master,’’ Rowe whimpered.

‘’You’re fucked up,’’ Adam said.

‘’You said it yourself, mate, that’s gonna buh- be a bitch to clean up. So you staying to watch or not?’’

‘’Fuck that. It’s late. I’m off.’’

Adam grabbed his coat and left without another word. Tomas watched him leave, then stumbled to the front door and locked it behind him.

‘’Thank fuck he’s gone.’’

He grabbed a bottle of water and gulped it down desperately. He would have given anything to just pass out, but the thought of leaving Rowe as he was didn’t even cross his mind. Looking over, he saw how hard he was trembling. His eyes were tightly shut, and he was still kneeling obediently with his arms behind his back. He looked achingly vulnerable.

‘’Rowe-‘’ he started, walking towards him. At the sound of his voice Rowe cried out, collapsing onto the floor with his hands propping him up. As Tomas drew closer, he weakly pulled himself away. It broke his heart to see him so scared. ‘’Rowe, it’s okay, I-‘’ oh god, he was so drunk. Rowe scrambled away from him until he was curled in the corner on the room, his knees tucked up under his chin and his arms hiding his face. Shit.

‘’Rowe, Rowe, I know how that sounded, but please listen,’’ he began, knowing there was no way in Hell Rowe was in any state to listen to reason. Rowe only curled further into himself when Tomas sat down beside him.

‘’I-I’m so- s-so sorry, Mas-Master, I’m s-sorry p-p-please forgive me, pl-please f-forgive me it w-will never happen ag- again I swear, I swear Master, I’m s-sorry, please I’m so sorry…’’ he whimpered, his voice barely audible.

‘’Rowe,’’ he said weakly. Rowe whined in fear and Tomas had never felt more inequipped to handle him. He felt like someone had grabbed his head and was pulling it around with every little movement, making the room spin.

‘’I’ll d-d-d-do anything, anyth-thing just p-please, please f-forgive me, I know I d-don’t deserve it I’m a w-worthless Pet I do-don’t deserve a-any mercy, Master, but please, please, I’ll do anything, I’m sorry, pl-please punish me-‘’

Tomas frowned. He had thought Rowe was so desperately afraid because of the punishment. ‘’Rowe, please, look at me.’’

An order was an order. Rowe lowered his trembling hands just enough to let Tomas see his wide, twitching eyes. ‘’I’m sorry, Master,’’ he whispered. ‘’I was careless.’’

‘’You weren’t, you were obeying an order, it wasn’t your f.. wasn’t your fault. I didn’t mean it.’’

‘’I w-was stupid and I didn’t pay pr-proper attention and I-, I’m sorry, it w-was unacceptable, please- please punish-‘’ Rowe faltered, covering his face again. His last few words were no more than a whimper. ‘’Please punish me, Master.’’

I am a fucking idiot. I am a fucking idiot. What the FUCK was I thinking.

‘’Sit up, pal, sit up. No more kneeling tonight- your legs must be aching. Sit cross legged like me.’’

Normally this would have resulted in at least ten minutes of negotiations, with Rowe protesting, convinced Tomas was issuing him with a test of obedience. But tonight, he complied without a word. Tomas realised he could ask Rowe to stand on his head right now and he would do it without a second thought, if it meant not angering his Master any more.

. . .

Rowe had never felt the floor drop away from him the way it did when Master Tomas described his punishment.

He had finally pushed Master Tomas’s infinite patience too far. He had already got away with so much- all his crying, pleading, flinching away, struggling with the simplest order, actually injuring Master, screaming every night. No Pet owner should have to put up with such disobedience.

Master’s kindness was a privilege, and Rowe knew he could revoke it at any time, he knew that everything he had, his bed and food and gentle touches could be snatched away if he did anything to displease his Master.

But then Master had been so forgiving, and gentle, and Rowe had started to think that maybe this could go on forever. But he had fucked it up, he had embarrassed Master in front of his guest, he couldn’t even complete a simple task, Master had given him so many chances and still Rowe had fucked up.

I’ve done it now. I never deserved a Master like him. He’ll toss me out. I’ll be put down for sure. No Pet gets tossed out twice. I’m going to be beaten raw and thrown out.

He couldn’t bear to open his eyes. Instead he listened helplessly as Master walked to the kitchen- to pick out the best bit of glass, Rowe assumed. The fall played over and over in his head: if he had only looked where he was going, if he’d walked slower and been more graceful and less twitchy, if he’d taken another route around the empty bottles. It occurred to him that by the time the bruising on his head formed, he’d either be shivering on the streets, or dead.

He heard his name and irregular footsteps approaching him and Rowe still jumped when Master spoke. Why couldn’t he stop being so pitiful?

Looking up, he saw that Master Tomas’s eyes were half-lidded, and tinged red. Drunk eyes. A drunk Master was always the most frightening kind. A drunk Master couldn’t be predicted. Rowe’s hands hit the floor and he dragged himself away, hardly knowing why. This is why I should be properly restrained, he thought weakly. Maybe he just wanted to draw out the punishment, to put off the far worse fate awaiting him once Master was done.

‘’Rowe, it’s okay, I-‘’

Rowe’s body hit the wall and all he could think to do was curl up and beg. He hadn’t even realised Master was speaking to him until he interrupted him. His stomach flooded with a deep, freezing terror.

‘’Rowe, please, look at me.’’ Master ordered, forced to repeat himself, and this time Rowe managed to shut up and look. His heart was pounding as he let Master see his miserable, apologetic eyes.

‘’I’m s-so sorry, Master. I was careless.’’

‘’You weren’t,’’ said Master. His usually soft voice had a rough, intoxicated edge to it. And what did he mean? ‘’You were obeying an order, it wasn’t your f… wasn’t your fault. I didn’t mean it.’’

Mean what? Why wasn’t Master grabbing Rowe and forcing his face to the ground, screaming at him for even daring to disobey him after what he’d already done? Why wasn’t he cutting him? Rowe suddenly remembered to look at Master’s hands. No glass. Maybe Rowe would have to pick it out himself.

‘’I w-was stupid and I didn’t pay pr-proper attention and I-, I’m sorry, it w-was unacceptable, please- please punish- please punish me, Master,’’ he begged, hiding his filthy, insolent face.

Master was speaking, he realised, and he’d missed half of it, oh god oh god, he couldn’t keep his breathing under control and he knew he should be kneeling but something in him wouldn’t let him move and he was going to get chucked out and he was so so sorry-

‘’-legs must be aching. Sit cross legged like me.’’

Rowe obeyed without hesitation. Whatever Master wanted. Maybe this was important for his punishment. He felt like he might throw up.

‘’Fuck, I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m not angry. Look at my eyes- I’m not angry. I just wa- I just wanted him to leave. He was being a fucking twat. I am- I’m so drunk, Rowe. I’m so drunk and I handled that so badly and it wasn’t right. I just wanted to frighten Adam off. But I know it frightened you as well. Is that a fair assum- assump- is that fair? Are you quite frightened right now?’’

‘’Y….yes, Master.’’

Why was Master asking this? Was it not enough to see him trembling, on the brink of tears? Was it not enough to be almost stripped bare, open and exposed before his Master, submitting his body to his owner to punish as he saw fit? His mind was whirling with ways he could explain Kasia’s cuts, dreading the time Master asked where he had got them. He felt so useless. The punishment hadn’t even begun yet and already he was about to cry. His old master would add an extra beating if Rowe cried prematurely.

‘’I won’t hurt you. I promise. In fact-’’ Master reached for Rowe’s t-shirt, like he’d read his mind, ‘’-put this back on, please. Don’t get cold.’’

Rowe obeyed, his hands trembling almost too badly to take the t-shirt from Master’s hand. Master would have to cut him through his t-shirt, then. Perhaps then he’d beat him for ruining his clothes. Master could do that, he could do whatever he wanted. Rowe was just grateful to have his awful cuts covered up. Perhaps- he dared to hope- perhaps Master was too intoxicated to see properly? Perhaps he hadn’t seen them?

Then he remembered that it didn’t matter, anyway. Master was throwing him out. The remembrance was like a stone suddenly sinking into him.

‘’Rowe- why are you frightened?’’

What game was this?

‘’B-because of th-the punishment, Master.’’ He knew that being afraid of a punishment would only get him hurt worse, but he would take any pain, any pain at all, to stay as Master’s Pet. Rowe couldn’t even mention being tossed out. Stupidly, childishly, he didn’t want to say it out loud. Didn’t want to make it real.

‘’But aren’t you used to punishments like this? Do you get this scared every time?’’

‘’N-no!’’ Rowe burst out, pressing his head to the floor, trying to find something in his training to fall back on to navigate this. He couldn’t give Master any more reasons to throw him out. ‘’No, Master, no, I d-don’t, I c-can be good, I can t-take it well, I c-c-can be blank and quiet a-and not m-make a fuss, I promise!’’

‘’It’s okay, it’s okay. I know that. I know how good you are,’’ Master said. Rowe couldn’t understand why his tone sounded so soothing. ‘’But what I wan… want to know is- why is this time different? What’s scared you this time?’’

Before Rowe could even think properly, he whimpered out, ‘’Please… please don’t make me s-say it, Master.’’

Master Tomas’s eyebrows drew together. His eyes blinked open, and he stared at Rowe hard, like keeping his eyes open was a real effort. Rowe felt powerless, cowering in his Master’s gaze. But then the moment passed, and Master closed his eyes and put a hand on Rowe’s arm. Rowe waited for the moment where his Master’s grip would turn painful, but it never came, and when Master took his hand away Rowe found that the absence made him ache.

‘’Rowe. Rowerowerowe. I… I’m sorry. I am not a mind reader. You are gonna have to tell me what else is spooking you. Is it… are you scared of Adam coming back?’’

‘’N-no, Master.’’

Why did Master insist on Rowe saying it?

‘’Then what? How about this- if you tell me what’s wrong, I won’t punish you. How about that.’’

No punishment. Master would go straight to throwing him out. This was what he got for being disobedient. As if he had any right to argue with Master. Rowe scrambled to his knees and ground his forehead into the floor.

‘’Please- please, Master! Please, I d-deserve to be punished, please p-punish me, please!’’

‘’Rowe!’’ Master’s voice cut through him. Rowe had never heard his Master shout like that. He whimpered, keeping his head down. ‘’Rowe, you want to be a good Pet, yes?’’

Rowe nodded desperately.

‘’Then,’’ Master sighed heavily. He sounded so fed up with him. ‘’Then I need you to start cooperating, okay? We can- we can do this slowly. Sit up for me. Good. Now, I know you don’t want to, and if I could avoid it I would, yeah? But you have to tell me what’s wrong. You have to.’’

Rowe felt tears pricking his eyes. ‘’I don’t… I don’t want to be thrown out, Master,’’ he whispered.

There was a long pause. Rowe felt heavy with dread. Was Master going to laugh at him? Or would he order him into the cage he arrived in without another word?

‘’You think I’m going to throw you out?’’

‘’I-I’m a use-useless Pet, Master, I’m sh-shameful and I ca-an’t even follow a s-s-simple task and you don’t-‘’ Rowe began to cry as he forced himself to say it. In a way, it felt cathartic to get it out. ‘’-you don’t n-n-need a broken Pet. I’m no- no good for a-anything, a-a-and you g-gave me so many chances, I’m no good…’’ he choked on a sob and finally, blissfully, broke down entirely. ‘’I can’t e-even answer m-my Master without crying,’’ he moaned. ‘’Serving y-you is a privilege and I haven’t done anything to- anything to earn it.’’

…

Rowe’s raw, vulnerable cries had pulled Tomas out of his drunken haze. The fog in his head was lifting as Tomas began, uncomfortably, to sober up.

‘’What will happen if I throw you out?’’

Rowe looked at him fearfully, and Tomas realised too late that a Pet owner would be expected to know that. This must feel to Rowe like Tomas cruelly reminding him of his fate.

‘’I’ll- I’ll be put down, Master.’’

‘’Ah. Right. Right… okay, Rowe, I know you’re listening. You’re very good at that. I need you to know what I’m saying is all the absolute truth, okay?’’

‘’Yes, y-yes, Master, of course,’’ Rowe replied miserably.

‘’Firstly, I won’t hurt you. I won’t. I made up a punishment to freak Adam out. I’ve never hurt you before so I won’t start now, okay?’’

‘’Okay,’’ Rowe sniffed, glancing up at him with huge wet doe eyes. ‘’Okay, Master.’’

‘’And secondly, I’m not going to throw you out. I care about you, okay?’’ Tomas decided to phrase this in a way Rowe could understand. ‘’If I were going to throw you out, I wouldn’t have spent so much time teaching you to read, would I?’’

Rowe stayed silent, weeping softly, until Tomas pressed him and he choked out an agreement.

‘’Okay. And I wouldn’t have made sure you were eating each day, if I didn’t care about you. If I didn’t want you to stay with me and get better.’’

Get better. Something flashed in Rowe’s eyes and Tomas knew he’d struck the right chord. He was making him good, like Rowe always begged for.

‘’And now that I work from home, you can be my top priority.’’

‘’But I’m…’’ Rowe sobbed, his voice cracking. ‘’I’m j-just a Pet, Master.’’

‘’Nah. You’re Rowe. You’re important to me. I couldn’t just toss you out, you understand?’’

‘’Tha-thank yo-‘’

Before he could finish Rowe was in floods of tears once more, clutching his face and curling in on himself. Tomas’s heart broke and without thinking he pulled Rowe into a hug, the first since he’d got him.

It felt surprisingly normal to be holding his crying Pet, taking care to avoid touching the worst of his injuries. Placing one hand by his shoulder because by now it felt familiar. Slow, gentle movements, keeping his hands flat, keeping his arms loose enough to not constrict him.

‘’It’s okay. I’ve got you.’’

‘’Thank you, yes, I’m yours Master.’’

Tomas smiled weakly. Hundreds of tiny misunderstandings every day, and yet they were coping somehow.

And then Tomas’s body finally gave up and he slumped over, asleep.

#tomas and rowe #whump #pet whump #dehumanisation #whump fic #pet whumpee #aftermath of torture #master/pet #begging

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liberty-barnes · 4 years ago

Text

Letters To A Stranger

Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Summary: The story of a girl who loved a boy, but couldn't talk, so she wrote.

Warnings: fluff for a bit, but then massive angst, and i mean massive, STOP READING HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY SPOILERS BUT I WOULDN'T FEEL OKAY WITHOUT LISTING ALL THE ANGST FACTORS

(mentions of ED, mentions of self-harm, implied character death, mentions of social anxiety)

Word Count: 1.3k words

Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes

A/N: did you miss me?

Masterlist

February 21st, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

Are you new? Or was I simply too oblivious to your presence until now? I've never seen you before, you're really pretty.

I don't think I've ever used the word "pretty" to describe a man before. Well, boy, but my point stands.

But you really are. With your caramel eyes, and artistically tousled hair. You're cute. Kind of like a puppy. Not that I'm attracted to dogs, of course, but there's really no better way to describe you. Your face lights up when you talk on the phone, like an excited golden retriever who'd just been told he was going for a walk. I wonder who you're talking to. Is it your partner? Please, say you're single.

You get off after me apparently, so I guess I'll just keep my pining to my letters and hope to see you again tomorrow.

Kinda wishing I was yours,

Your secret admirer.

February 22nd, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

You're back! Is this a simple coincidence or are you a regular?

From the backpack on your shoulder, I'd say maybe you're a student. I don't go to school. You make me wish I did if only to see your face every day for more than the short ten minutes of our joint ride.

I wonder how old you are. You look old enough to be in high school, but which year are you? I know I'm only nineteen, but I'd feel a little bummed about crushing on a fourteen-year-old.

You're smiling again today. I'm glad. I don't see a lot of smiles at the diner. Mostly glares, impatient huffs, and tired, distant expressions. It's a nice change.

I have to go now but thank you for making my day.

Hoping to see you again tomorrow,

Your secret admirer.

February 23rd, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

I'm starting to think that smile is permanent. It's the third day in a row that I've gotten on the train and was immediately greeted with your beaming smile as you watched some video on your phone. It made me smile too.

Your sweatshirt's pretty. It says "Midtown Tech" on it. Is that a school? Is it your school?

I may have to do some digging later.

Please don't think I'm a stalker.

Your totally not-stalker secret admirer.

March 1st, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

I was late this morning so I didn't get to see you. My boss was not happy about it, I felt like I was walking on very thin ice.

And then this guy grabbed my ass while I was taking his order. I acted on instinct, tried to remember everything they taught me at my self-defense class. I ended up accidentally punching him in the face.

So yeah, I lost my job today. Which is why I'm here so early. I might stay on the subway just to see which stop you get off on.

Yeah, maybe not, that'd be weird and I should start job hunting as soon as possible.

Thank you for making me smile on a bad day.

Thank you for being you,

Your secret admirer.

March 17th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

I got a new job! I'm working at this coffee shop/bookstore and it's honestly the greatest thing in the world. I get to be around books AND get free hot chocolate, how much better can life be?

You looked a little down today, I wonder if you're okay? Is everything well at home? Maybe school's the problem? Maybe you got a bad grade, but you look really smart so I don't know.

I hope you're feeling better tomorrow,

Your secret admirer.

March 19th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

I wish I knew your name, that way I'd know who to address this to. But I guess Cute Boy On The Subway will have to do.

You were smiling again today, that's nice. I haven't seen you smile in a while, I was starting to get worried. The sweater you were wearing looked a little too big to be yours, the collar slipped down a little when you moved. It looks like there's a massive bruise on your upper chest. Does it hurt? Are you okay?

I wish I was brave enough to ask you in person.

Get better soon,

Your secret admirer.

March 25th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

You're back to not smiling today. I don't like to see you frown. Not at all. I want you to tell me what's wrong. I want to help you get better, see you smile again.

I want to talk to you.

I'll do it tomorrow,

Your secret admirer.

March 26th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

You were sad again today. But that's okay, cause I said I'd talk to you.

Except I didn't.

My stomach started doing uncomfortable flips and I had to get off the train earlier than usual so I could throw up. It was not fun.

Maybe I just have the flu?

Hopefully, I'll be better tomorrow,

Your secret admirer.

March 30th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

I've tried talking to you for three days, every time I had to get off and empty my stomach's content. I started to see a pattern so after a half week of that vicious cycle, I went to see my doctor.

Turns out I have social anxiety tendencies and you simply trigger them a bit. So, basically, my body won't let me talk to you.

I'm a little sad but also kind of relieved. At least I know I'm not voluntarily letting you slip through my fingers.

Not that I ever plan on doing that, you've become too important.

I hope you smile tomorrow,

Your secret admirer.

April 7th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

I'm worried about you. Your sleeve rose a little when you held onto the pole. There are scars there, familiar ones, ones that I recognize as scars left by one's own hand. Physical marks of a person's suffering.

Why are you doing that? It hurts to know that you feel down enough to resort to that. I want to help, but I can't bring myself to talk to you.

Please stop this,

Your secret admirer.

April 12th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

Your eyes were red today. You've been crying. There are dark circles under your eyes, how long has it been since you've last slept?

A lady asked you if you were alright. You said you were just a little tired. I've never heard a more obvious lie.

I wish I could talk to you,

Your secret admirer.

April 16th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

The dark circles haven't gone away, if anything they've gotten darker. But now there's a bruise on your cheek. You seem to be getting thinner too.

What's going on?

Your secret admirer.

April 28th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

How much weight have you lost? Your cheekbones are more prominent, and your arms are getting thinner by the second. Why don't you eat?

The bruises are more frequent now. Cheek, eyebrow, lip...

Who's hitting you?

Who's making you suffer?

Your secret admirer.

May 6th, 2024

Dear Cute Boy On The Subway,

I haven't seen you in a few days. I wonder where you are.

Are you okay?

I'm sorry, that's a stupid question, you probably aren't.

I've decided that next time I see you I'm gonna talk to you. Ask you what's wrong. Force you to tell me if that's what it takes.

I hope you're safe.

Your secret admirer.

May 27th, 2024

Dear Peter Parker,

I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to talk to you when I had the chance.

I hope you're in a better place now.

I'm sorry you were alone when you did it.

I'm sorry you had to do it.

With love,

(Y/n).

yes, i'm one of those authors that post something an then disappears for two months, i'm sorry. i've been super busy with school and i haven't really had the motivation to write lately but i got this idea and i just needed to get it out.

also, i may be getting a new computer in like 1 or 2 weeks, so that's cool! it'll be better to write and stuff cause this one's getting kinda slow and sometimes it's hard to post stuff cause it won't load lmao.

anyway, i hope you liked it and if you did don’t forget to reblog/comment/like

love you all!

-Miah

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Taglists: (if your name is striked through it means for some reason tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you)

PERMA TAG

@jeezkiddo @officiallyunofficialperson @beananacake @theunderlier @harrysleftchelseaboot @averyfosterthoughts @onebigolemess @samoney69 @agirlwithpointlessideas @ddaawwssoonn @inhumanwithpowers @imagineshere-forall @stiles-banshees @orowit @spideynut @deathofmissjackson @parkersbliss @ephemeral-limerences @write-from-the-heart @cardboard-ben @my-alignment-is-bisexual @mendes-marvel @timotayswriter @inthecornerchair @lovelynerdytraveler @niallssweetheart22 @incorrect-things @lost-in-the-stars03 @harishaanne @ellamw04 @bisexual-disappointment @onelovesr @ellyseveronica @sovereignparker @notsosmexy @theamazingtomholland @lozzypoz321 @peterspideyy

PETER PARKER TAG

@dreaming-lia @markleehee @juliebean247 @quechulitaaa @bubblegumbarnes @sofiaconlaz @bellaaa321-blog @parkerpetertingle @emily-louise-hynes @clara-licht @ekelly2015 @inlovewithmobtom @quaksonhehe @danicarosaline @tutuabby28 @sovereignparker @spn67-sister @t-monosapiens-h @kayleypaige2233 @galaxystern08 @highlydisfunctional1 @jillanaholland @zeusmyster @sirtommyholland @a-singleboat @allthisfortommy @middevil456 @kdotcxz @drishtisikarwar

MARVEL TAG

@dreaming-lia @emily-louise-hynes @arts-ismything @peachyafshawn @cathwritestragediesnotsins @spn67-sister @t-monosapiens-h @galaxystern08 @highlydisfunctional1 @jillanaholland @hyluas @ravenagrimes @captainbuckyy @kaylig02 @crazyassbitch-things-blog @sharenaloveyouX @tacobacoyeet @andycanbeemotional @angelicromanoff

#libby writes #libbys stuff #peter parker x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #marvel #avengers #spiderman x reader #mcu spiderman #spider-man #mcu

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anjuschiffer · 5 years ago

Text

Following the Unknown

Okay, so sometime ago, I wrote something up about another soulmate au that was inspired from a dream I had (and for some reason I can’t find it in my archives...f* you Tumblr! And if anyone remembers what I’m talking about, think you can send me a link? Cuz I can’t find it QQ).

So the AU concept went something like this:

Some people know they have soulmates because they can hear their soulmate’s voice. If you’re lucky enough, you can actually see them, or rather their silhouette in the form of a swarm of leaves, that trail away once your soulmate stops talking to you. These leaves fly off and sometimes if you chase them, lead you to your soulmate. However, if they go on, that means that your soulmate isn’t close. Some people have feathers as guides, however, those who have seen these feathers and followed them are guaranteed to see their soulmates...but only at the brink of death. People dread to have feathers guide them to their soulmate, despite their gold color.

The only con of this soulmate bond is that only those with the bond can see the glowing white leaves, no one else can see the leaves but those with that type of bond.

And I haven’t touched the au until I was listening to Into the Unknown...

With that explanation out of the way, I hope you enjoy it!

------

Song: Into the Unknown by Idina Menzel | Daminette Soulmate Au

Context: Damian is 17 years old, never once telling anyone he had a soulmate bond. Mari is 16, her soulmate bond appearing that very year, something she always wanted, but hated that it was at the worst time to receive a bond. After all, defeating Hawkmoth was her top priority.

------

Tag: @theatreandcomicfreak @damianette-is-life

------

AO3

------

Damian stirred in his bed, a whisper ringing in his ears. Attempting to block them out, Damian wrapped his pillow over his head, his knuckles turning white as he did so.

Damian threw the pillow to the side, wincing at the voice that echoed within his head. Struggling to get up, Damian quickly drew out his sketchbook, flipping to the back of it. There, a meticulously set of dates were written and organized, a tip of a quill meeting the page, Damian writing down a new date.

Ever since his 16th birthday, he had been having these effects, a voice whispered to him.

It was soft, soothing, but annoying all at the same time.

Hello. It would whisper. Can you hear me?

I can hear you but I won't.

Of course he was able to. It bothered him to the ends of the Earth, causing him to become distracted at school and during patrols.

He regretted ever answering back to them after they kept trying to contact them for four solid months.

With that single response, he had been able to hear the voice clearer, causing the noise to grow stronger, something that Damian hated.

Because of it, his grades slowly slipped, but Damian had managed to keep them up. Patrol, however, was another story.

He kept getting a scolding from his father and brother, causing his mood to sour even more.

He already had a pretty shitty sleep schedule and the noise just made it worse.

He would awaken at random times during the middle of the night, ranging from one in the morning to four. He rarely got them at five and six, but nonetheless had them then as well.

Ignore your whispers which I wish would go away

Damian got back to bed, hoping to fall back to sleep as he heard the noise stay with him. Damian didn’t know when he had fallen asleep, but he did, nonetheless when the noise had whispered to him.

Sorry.

And the voice remained quiet for the remainder of the night.

------

“-and only one in every three million have this type of soulmate bond.” Damian paused the video, writing something down in his notepad, circling the new piece of information.

The Wind Bond.

A bond that those who had it describe it to be like a wind itself.

It caused you to hear the voice of your soulmate, ever so softly heard like a midsummer breeze.

The soulmate’s voice would only grow stronger if they were close by.

Those who had a romantic version of the bond would also see their soulmate’s silhouette in the form of leaves, scattering into the air if you managed to see it.

However, only the people with the bond were able to see and hear their soulmate.

It was also because of this that people called it the Wind Bond; many only faintly heard the voice of their soulmate and almost never got to ingrain the silhouette of their soulmate, causing them to lose all hope in ever seeing their soulmate.

It was hard to catch, hard to believe, just like the wind.

As Damian tapped in pencil against the table, the noise returned, Damian dropping his pencil to cradle his head.

You're not a voice, you're just a ringing in my ear.

With shaky hands, Damian reached for the headphones laying on his desk.

Damian paired them to his phone and put music to drown the noise, his shoulders relaxing when he could no longer hear it.

I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls.

Damian looked at what he had written, huffing at the paper.

Why would he ever believe in this?

Soulmates?

Damian ripped the paper and tossed them into his metal trash can. Seeing that all of the pieces were inside, Damian opened his desk drawer, rummaging through it until his hand found a small rectangular-like item.

Flicking the lighter, Damian took the final piece of his ‘research’ and lit it on fire, tossing it in with the rest, watching as smoke rose from the can.

Soulmates…

Why would he ever think he had one?

Even if he did have one, he shouldn’t care.

They were unnecessary, a hindrance to him…

At least his mother and grandfather told him.

As he watched the last ember die, Damian went back to studying, the ringing fading from his mind.

------

Damian’s eyes widened as his eyes caught the thing behind him.

He had just gotten past the manor’s gates when he heard someone call out to him.

Turning, Damian found a girl made of softly glowing bluebell leaves.

He watched as they soon scattered into the air, Damian taking a step forward before going into a sprint.

He had the Wind Bond. And the romantic type at that.

Romance…

Love…

Chasing…

Damian quickly came to a stop, watching as the leaves finally left his view.

I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you

Damian didn’t know for how long he was standing at where he was, but when he was done accepting what had happened to him, he let out a long deep sigh.

A soulmate, huh?

He would just have to try his best to ignore it.

------

Damian dug his nails into his hands, the noise coming back inside his head, and at the worst possible time.

What do you want?

He was busy trying to concentrate on the math problem in front of him, the clock ticking as his professor reminded the class of the time constraint.

“There’s ten minutes left!”

Are you here to distract me so I make a big mistake?

Damian wanted to scoff at the answer, racking everything he learned to solve the integration before him. It was the only thing left, but for some reason he just couldn’t seem to figure it out.

Just breath.

He did.

Recheck your fourth to last step. That’s where-

“Five minutes!”

Damian quickly rescanned his work for the twentieth time, finally noticing where he had gone wrong. Reworking that step, Damian began to internally grin as he confidently finished the rest, smiling when he placed his pencil down and the professor called time.

Damian hated to admit it, but was glad to be able to hear her voice clearly this time around.

The bell rang, signaling the start of the next class, Damian quickly walking out to get to it.

Thank you.

------

“-I simply did what I had to do!” Damian yelled, a snarl present on his face.

“You endangered the civilians inside the building!” Dick yelled, throwing a glare at Bruce. “And you allowed him to-”

“It was necessary for the mission.” Bruce simply stated, walking out the cave, leaving Dick with his feelings.

“I thought you had changed B!” Dick yelled, grabbing his coat. “Seems like you haven’t.”

Damian watched as Dick left, wanting to call him back, but knew that he shouldn’t. Instead, he went off to his own room, heading straight to the shower to get rid of the sweat that made his shirt cling to his body as if it were a second skin.

As he stood under the steaming hot water, Damian pondered to himself.

While he always held his father in high regards, Damian struggled to follow his standards, finding himself to lean more towards Dick’s. Who was right? Who did he have to follow? To please? Who’s standard should he even begin to follow?

Neither.

But he had to.

But don’t you already have your own set?

He did.

Then follow it.

Damian pursed his lips, turning off the water.

Why should he follow his own instead of one laid out before him?

Because if you try to meet the standards someone placed for you, you’re going to burn out quicker. You will start to lose yourself. Believe me. I’ve been there and hated it. Every. Second.

Damian kept wondering about the words the voice told him, catching the resentment behind them.

Despite having lived under the same roof as his father and older brother for seven years, Damian could still measure the tension between themselves. The air was suffocating, made his breathing heavy and felt off.

Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me?

They did mention having to choose a decision and regretting it.

They had been through it…

Was it when he told them to take the ring from the other person she was fighting with?

If so, were they once like him? Did they once have these unwanted thoughts? Thoughts of fleeing?

Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be?

Damian shook his head, throwing himself onto his bed, Titus laying beside him.

As he laid in bed, Damian closed his eyes, replaying the day he stopped chasing the bluebell leaves.

Damian found himself reaching towards the ceiling, grabbing one of the leaves. He watched as the bluebell turned red before it slipped out of his hand.

Damian quickly chased after it, stopping as he reached the edge of the manor’s garden, watching as the red leaf turned bluebell once more and disappeared into the distance.

His hand reached out in an attempt to grab it again, despite knowing it was futile.

Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go

Into the unknown

------

Are you out there?

“-you alright Bugaboo?” Ladybug blinked as she registered what Chat had said, finally facing him after scanning their surroundings. “Is there something-”

“You didn’t hear that?”

“Hear what?” Chat asked, tilting his head, his ear twitching in anticipation.

Marinette looked to her side once again, wondering what the hell was happening to her.

Migraine? No, definitely not.

“Do you really-” Ladybug was about to ask, only to get interrupted by Chat.

“Seems like you can do it with a day off.” Chat said with a grin, twirling his baton. “You know, maybe a date at-”

Marinette zoned out Chat’s voice, wondering what was going on. She swore she had heard someone call out to her, a smooth voice that sent chills down her spine. But despite that, she felt curiosity behind that whisper.

“-and who knows? We might find out that we’re actually-”

“Soulmate.”

“You mean soulmates.” Chat tried to correct, watching as Ladybug’s face pale. “Bugaboo. What-”

“My soulmate bond.” She whispered, feeling a lump in her throat. “I got my soulmate b-”

“Does that mean-!”

“No.” Ladybug said, sternly looking at Chat. “We’re not soulmates.”

“How are yo-”

“When I asked if you heard that, you said no.”

“And what does that-”

“My soulmate bond has to do with hearing each other’s voices. Our thoughts.” Ladybug watched as Chat’s smile dropped, his eyes turning dull. “You’re not my- Chaton!” Marinette yelled out as Chat ran away from her, using his baton to launch himself to who knows where.

Sighing, Marinette called off her transformation, Tikki flying up to Marinette’s cheek. “Why now? Why now of all times?”

“I wish I had the answer to that Marinette, but even we have no knowledge on how soulmate bonds are assigned and given. If we did-”

“I always wanted a soulmate bond.” Marinette confessed, Tikki giving her a small smile. “But to think I would get one right now, with Hawkmoth-”

“It’s going to be alright Marinette.” Tikki assured, snuggling closer. “It’s going to be alright, you’ll see.”

“I hope you’re right Tikki. I really hope you are right.” Marinette said, embracing Tikki in her own way.

------

Do you know me?

Or rather do you remember me?

Marinette had not heard back from her soulmate in a solid month, wondering what was going on.

Was it just a fluke?

“I don’t think so.” Tikki said, munching on a cookie. “While we may not know everything about soulmate bonding, we do know some basic principles. Using those, I’m pretty sure you have a soulmate bond. It’s just taking a while to settle into your life. Well, lives.”

Marinette sighed, placing her head on her desk, attempting to reconnect with her soulmate for the umpteenth time.

Months continued to pass, Marinette now dealing with a tantrum-throwing Chat and an unresponsive soulmate.

Yes, the soulmate bonding was supposed to be the least of her worries, but how can Marinette ignore the fact that she hadn’t heard from them in three months?

In attempts to push it to the back of her mind, Marinette focused on retrieving the cat miraculous from Chat.

Another month passed when a miracle occured.

Marinette was sick and tired of playing cat and mouse with Chat, promising herself to try this one last time before she officially gave up on taking back the cat miraculous.

They were once more fighting an appearance changing akuma, the akuma changing the appearance of any person they touched, Marinette doing everything in her power to avoid being touched. What should she do? She didn’t want to be a useless fish nor-

Take it when he gets hit by his opponent.

Marinette stiffed at those words, feeling as if he knew then from experience himself.

Marinette didn’t get a response, but stuck with their advice, watching for her opportunity to rise.

An hour later, there it was.

As she flung him out of harm’s way, she slipped the ring off of him, her eyes closed as she renounced his ownership of the ring and of Plagg.

A single tear slipped as he heard him scream at her. As he begged her to reconsider.

Ladybug simply ignored the growing guilt in her chest, but knew it was for the best.

With a final tug at her yo-yo, Ladybug took down the akuma and prepared herself to be the hero Paris truly needed.

Back at home, Marinette hugged her pillow, crying her heart out as she started to doubt her decision from earlier that day.

Sorry.

———

A month had passed since that day, Marinette slumping into her bed as she de transformed. Plagg and Tikki quickly checked on their Guardian before going off to replenish their own energy.

With a heavy sigh, Marinette threw her arm over her forehead, feeling the tension in it.

Hawkmoth was still out there, searching for her, using all her allies against her. All but two.

Rena Rouge has the first out.

Then Carapace.

Lady Guêpe was forced to resign.

Then Chat Noir.

Ryuuko and Viperion remained, but at what cost?

But she couldn’t keep burdening them with her duties, with her life.

The trio were the only ones to protect Paris, although it was majorly Lady Chat in the scene.

Announcing to Paris that Chat was no longer going to aid with the defeat of Hawkmoth ended up turning for the worst, half of Paris wondering why Ladybug would ever do such a thing.

Why would she ever let Chat go when she needed him the most?

She ignored them, knowing it was for the greater good. She knew that what she did was necessary.

She wasn’t going to allow Chat to continue to corrupt Plagg, even Viperion and Ryuuko agreed with her.

And yes, she did always meet up with them...in their slightly hidden civilian forms.

While the previous guardian told her the importance of keeping their identities, Marinette’s morality began to waver.

If they wanted any chance of defeating Hawkmoth, they needed more trust with each other.

Yes, they can potentially leak out each other’s identities if akumatized, but she was willing to risk it.

So with Ryuuko and Viperion’s help, Ladybug sought a way to take down the enemy, once and for all.

Marinette’s thoughts soon became muddled, equations blurring into her mind.

She sat there, cradling her mind as math flooded her head, a concerned Tikki rushing to her.

They are rushing it.

They had to use substitution there, not the answer they got in the first part.

What do you want?

Are you here to distract me?

No.

Just breath.

Recheck your fourth to last step. That’s where-

The voice faded, becoming a soothing hum. Mari felt as her shoulders relaxed, only then noticing she had then square and tense.

She decided to sit up, eyeing her sketchbook.

When was the last time she opened it?

Just as she turned to a clean page, Marinette started to sketch, writing the word red at the side.

That’s when she heard her soulmate say something she thought they were never going to say to her.

Thank you.

Giddiness filled her imagination, Marinette got to designing, Plagg and Tikki smiling as they watched her emerge herself into her work.

———

Marinette placed a final pin into her alterations when her head began to angrily hum.

Who’s standard should I follow?

Marinette wondered what was going on with her soulmate that made them question and doubt the morality standards around them. But if she went off experience…

Neither.

But I have to choose a side.

Don’t you have your own set of morals? Principles?

I do.

Then follow them.

Why can’t I just choose one of the ones laid before me?

Because if you keep trying to choose one of them, you’re going to burn out. You’re going to lose yourself. And you’ll hate it. Every. Second. That passes.

Marinette began to panic when she didn’t hear anything said back, looking at Tikki for some type of explanation.

Tikki simply looked at her with sad eyes while Plagg purred against Marinette’s cheek, Marinette deflating upon not getting an answer to her situation.

———

Can you feel me?

The voice asked, Damian debating on whether to answer it.

Because, no. He couldn’t feel them, but certainly did feel their emotions

He had been for the past half year.

And he knew that whoever they were, they were either a hero or vigilante.

He was able to clearly feel their emotions and hear their thoughts when they finally defeated someone called Hawkmoth.

He had tried to ask them who it was, but they never responded, quickly changing the subject.

Mostly about their upcoming schedule.

Something about having to make a dress for some event they were invited to.

He remembers telling them about him being in the same boat, having to get his measurements taken for a new suit for the gala.

Can you show me?

Their bond only allowed them to hear each other.

And our silhouettes. They added.

“Master Damian, there you are.” Alfred spoke, Damian looking over at his grandfather (not that he would ever say it out loud).

“Is this about the gala? I presume Father wants me to do something for him.”

“More like remind you of how-“

“I won’t let some random harlots try to seduce me.” Damian stated firmly, picking up Alfred the cat. “They can try, but I will not waver.”

Alfred let a smile out, giving a few words for thought before leaving.

Damian sighed, going back to his conversation. Or at least attempted.

He tried to say something to his soulmate, but never got a response…

Not even as he tried to talk to her for the next few weeks.

———

Marinette stood by the punch bowl, watching as everyone around her talked like old time friends, chatting away into the night.

She rubbed her hands against her bare arms, wondering why someone like her was even at the Wayne Gala.

Oh right. She was personally invited because of her other identity: M.

M - the mysterious designer that had taken the fashion world upside down with their presence and style.

Marinette sighed, taking her glass of champagne and walking towards the balcony, not a single set of eyes following her crystal embedded red dress that stood out like a sore thumb.

Leaning against the stone railing, Marinette huffed, twirling the glass between her fingers, watching as the champagne sizzled as it swirled.

Finding herself bored, Marinette hummed to herself, wishing she was still able to talk to her soulmate.

Ever since that night a few weeks ago, she hadn’t been able to contact them, even Tikki growing worried as to why it was happening.

Marinette missed talking to them, even if their relationship did start on the wrong foot.

She missed them...dearly.

As Marinette continued to hum to herself, something caught her attention; a single emerald glowing leaf flew into her line of sight, her breath hitching.

It continued to fly away, into the hall in which the gala was taking place.

Where are you going? Don't leave me alone

Without a second thought, Marinette quickly followed it, not caring about the stares she was gathering as she pushed her way through the crowds.

She stumbled a bit as she saw the butterfly take a corner, almost losing it in the process.

How do I follow you

Into the unknown

Marinette quickly called out Kaalki, giving out an order to bring Mullo to her.

As soon as she had made it out into the open, Mullo quickly joined Marinette into the chase, multiplying to help with the search.

Marinette’s heart beat louder and stronger as she watched the butterfly begin to pulse brighter than ever before, a smile growing unbeknownst to Mari.

The joy died done when the butterfly stopped going, hovering in the middle of the garden which Mari found herself at.

Finally having a moment to breath, Marinette looked around herself, hedges and rows of flora surrounded her, shades of camellias encircling her. In the distance, she noticed some blue salvias, the tips peeking from under bushes.

Why was she brought here?

Here of all places?

Her thoughts were broken when she heard a pair of shoes click their way towards her, Marinette watching as the shadowed figure became another person.

When their eyes met, a group of leaves burst around them, the soft bluebell mingled with the emerald ones, dancing around each other.

“So you’re my soulmate.” He started, Marinette wondering how he wasn’t breaking a sweat in the layers of formal attire. She also couldn’t help but notice that his suit had kevlar integrated.

“I must be if the leaves guided us to one another.” Marinette responded, wondering what to do next.

The two looked at each other, wondering who was going to take the next step when the man broke into a smile.

“Damian. My name's Damian Wayne.”

“Marinette.” She followed. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I’m glad I found you, Damian.”

She really was.

She was happy to have followed the wind bond into the unknown.

Epilogue/Bonus:

Dick watched as Damian ran through the crowds in the gala.

“Damian! Where-“

“Somewhere!” Damian yelled, peaking Dick’s curiosity.

Dick waited until he saw him leave the hall before tailing him, having to pick up the pace when he almost lost sight of the boy a few times.

Dick wondered where exactly Damian was running off to, worry growing stronger when they had left the manor and were running into the garden.

He quickly tumbled into a hedge when he watched Damian slow down, following his gaze.

There, a few meters away, was a small stature girl with the most captivating red dress. The off-shoulder dress perfected fitted the girl’s small frame, Dick watching with the utmost glee as he saw Damian approach the girl.

Just as the two were three feet apart, Dick watched as a kaleidoscope of butterflies burst around them, leaving Dick starstruck.

He’d always heard of the wind bond, some of his friends telling him they had it. But this was the first time he’s ever seen it, let alone seen actual soulmates-

Soulmates…

HIS BROTHER HAD A SOULMATE AND NEVER TOLD HIM?!

Filled with hurt, Dick curled into a ball and stayed there in shock.

“Grayson. How long do you plan on staying there?”

Dick raised his head, watching how Damian attempted to keep a smile in check while his soulmate was wrapped around his arm. “Come on, the gala’s about to end. I need to make an announcement as it does.”

It took a quick second for Dick to figure out what he had meant by that.

“Damian! Don’t you dare-“

“Watch me.” Damian said with a grin, watching as the girl looked at Dick in confusion as Damian led her back inside.

Dick, however, didn't make it in time to warn their father, watching as Damian announced to the world about his soulmate… right as his own father was going to propose to Selina on live.

“That idiot.” Dick muttered, a smile still on his face as he watched Damian glow alongside his newfound love.

#maribat #daminette #maribat song inspired fic #daminette soulmates #maribat soulmate au #daminette soulmate au #anju writes

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misskikuwrites · 4 years ago

Text

Shattered Glass

Bederia Week 2021: Day 2 - First Date

Bede/Gloria (dressedinpinkshipping)

Tags: fluff, angst

Words: 8,328

@bede-x-gloria

Gloria curled her legs beneath her on the wooden chair, holding the steaming mug of tea close for warmth. Spring had finally come to Galar, but the spacious Pokemon Lab in Wedgehurst carried a lingering chill in the air. That was probably part of the reason why Hop always wore his lab coat. Otherwise, it was the sense of pride and achievement that drove him to don it day after day- he wore it with his head high, sitting across from Gloria at the dining table nestled by the entrance to the lab. She couldn't begin to feel cold, or worry about it, with bigger things on her mind.

"What am I going to do, Hop?" she sighed. "The Gala is next week."

He sipped at his coffee, unperturbed. "So? Do what you did last year- if you get asked to dance, turn them down. Simple."

"It's not simple. I got away with that last time because it was my first year as Champion. This time, I'm expected to socialise- and that means dancing. If I decline everyone who asks me, it'll be a serious… what's the word? Faux pas?"

Hop's eyebrows lifted slightly. "Never thought you'd care about social expectations. Especially when it comes to rich, snobby expectations."

She stopped herself from rolling her eyes. "You don't understand- I'm the Champion. I have to care about these things now, I don't have a choice. It's either conform to their rules, or get eaten alive by the rich, snobby people and journalists alike. Also, those 'rich, snobby people' are the ones sponsoring the League. I have to appeal to them."

Which meant dancing. Dancing and socialising with people who wouldn't have glanced at her twice if she wasn't the Champion.

"I see your problem." Hop nodded slowly. "Guess I'm lucky that no one will be paying any attention to me. No one's going to ask the Pokemon Professor's assistant to dance."

"You'll have to dance with me at least once," she said. "But you're right. It's me they'll be looking at, not you."

Gloria sighed again. She stared down at her tea, the churning in her stomach sucking away her desire to drink it.

"A week." She drummed her fingers against the ceramic mug, anxiously tapping away. "How am I going to learn to dance in a week?"

"A better question is who's going to teach you," Hop said.

"Who'll be willing to teach me and keep their mouth shut," Gloria added with a huff. "The last thing I want is an instructor blabbing to journalists about my inability to dance."

"What if you didn't go to an official instructor?" Hop asked. "What if, instead, you went to someone who knew how to dance themselves and could teach you? Someone we know isn't going to sell you out to the press."

"You know someone like that?"

He smiled. "We both do."

There was something about the twinkle in his eyes that unsettled her, something suspicious.

"Who?" Gloria asked.

"Bede."

She blinked at him. "Bede?"

Hop nodded, smile widening. "He's part of the Ballonlea Theatre- there's a lot of dancing in those plays. He's probably been taught to dance since he became the Fairy Gym Leader, and I bet he'd be willing to teach you."

She pursed her lips at that idea. Hop was right- most likely, Bede already knew how to dance. She couldn't remember much from the first League Gala she'd attended, it was all so much of a blur, of faces and names she couldn't remember, dazzled by the luxurious hall, the music, the food, the lights. She'd been swept away by the whole experience. She hadn't paid attention to anyone she knew save for Hop, who she'd managed to persuade to come as her date.

"Maybe…" she said, mulling it over.

"Maybe?" Hop gave her an unimpressed look. "You've got a week to learn how to dance well enough to fit in with people who've had years of practice. Who else is going to be willing to teach you on such short notice?"

Gloria grumbled in her throat. "I know, but…"

"But?"

How could she explain what she was feeling when even she didn't know herself? The jumble of emotions inside her was confusing enough without having to voice it to someone else.

"I guess you're right," she sighed. She had to face the facts one way or another. "I don't really have any other options, do I?"

"Not since you left it so late, you don't," Hop said. He nodded to her pointedly. "Come on, call him."

She blinked. "Now?"

"Yes, now! The sooner, the better!"

It was too soon, too sudden, and her heart began to race in her chest. She froze for a second until Hop's stare spurred her to move, and she dug out her phone with fumbling fingers.

"Fine, fine. I'll call him," she huffed and clicked through her contacts for Bede's number.

Hop stood from his chair and hurried around the table and into the seat beside her. He grinned, leaning close.

"What are you doing?" Gloria leant away from him, discomforted by the delight on his face. Her thumb hovered over Bede's number.

"It was my idea," Hop said.

Gloria frowned. "That doesn't mean you get to eavesdrop."

"You're stalling," he said, and jabbed at her phone. His finger tapped the screen, tapped Bede's number, calling him.

"Hey!" She balked. She scoffed at Hop, a beat of panic rising in her chest, before she decided enough was enough.

It was time to bite the bullet.

Gloria swallowed her grumble and held her phone to her ear, sending a sharp look at Hop as he leant close again.

Whatever, she thought, slightly disgruntled. He can listen if he wants.

The ringing of her phone stopped, and Bede's smooth voice sounded into her ear.

"Morning, Gloria," he said. "I trust you're not calling because you've gotten yourself into another predicament so soon?"

His voice carried a hint of amusement, and already Gloria felt her cheeks begin to warm. Hearing his voice so close, as if he was speaking right into her ear, had a strange affect on her.

"That depends on what you mean by predicament," she said.

She curled a lock of her hair around her finger absently as she spoke. The way her heart fluttered in her chest, she needed something to do with her free hand to calm her nerves. She glanced at Hop. He nodded at her, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

"Well, you know how the Gala is next week," Gloria began. "I was wondering if… by any chance you knew how to dance?"

"Of course I do. Who do you think you're asking?" Bede replied.

Hop rolled his eyes. Gloria sent him a hard look in return. Talking to Bede on the phone was difficult enough with her nerves on overdrive, she didn't need Hop's play-by-play reactions to everything. She resisted the urge to swat at him.

"That's what I was hoping," she said with a sheepish laugh, "see, I don't actually know how to dance. At all." A pause. "Would you be able to teach me?"

Gloria's cheeks burned as she forced that question out. It felt like it had taken all the air in her lungs just to ask, leaving her lightheaded and giddy. Anticipation seized her heart as a second of silence passed.

"I suppose I could clear up my schedule for you," Bede said. "Teaching you to dance sounds like it would be amusing, if not a decent way to pass the time. I can hardly leave you to stumble on the dance floor at the Gala and risk you denting the reputation of the League, can I?"

Gloria held her phone tighter. "Does that mean you'll teach me…?"

"I will," he said. "How does tomorrow morning sound? You've only got a week to learn, and I'd rather we start sooner than later. Although, with me as your teacher, I'll have you mastering the steps within a day or two, just you wait."

She turned her mind to tomorrow morning, quickly working through any plans she might have made.

"Tomorrow works for me," she said, nodding even though Bede couldn't see it. "I can come by the Gym at, say, nine o'clock?"

That'd give her enough time to wake up and prepare herself for the inevitable embarrassment she'd face in front of Bede. Although he's not one to make fun of her, she'd never danced in her life.

She heard the smile in Bede's voice when he replied. "It's a date," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay!" Heart pounding, it came out as a squeak. "See you!"

A click sounded as Bede hung up, deafened by the drumming of her heart in her chest and the surging of blood between her ears.

A date.

She couldn't think. His words echoed in her mind.

It's a date.

It was when Gloria pulled her phone away from her ear, cheeks flushed, still feeling giddy and breathless, that she noticed the look Hop was giving her. He grinned from ear to ear, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

"What?" she asked, feeling her heart skip.

"Your first date with Bede, huh?" Hop said, smirking. "I knew it was going to happen eventually, but-"

"It's not a date!" She cut him off as she flushed darker. Heat rose up her neck to pool across her face, embarrassment and indignation burning to the tips of her ears.

"He literally said, 'it's a date,' Gloria. It doesn't get more obvious than that," Hop said.

"It's just a phrase!" She folded her arms, meeting his smirk with a frustrated glare. "It doesn't mean anything- he doesn't like me like that, anyway!"

"Says who?"

"Says me!"

Hop raised an eyebrow. "You sure about that? Enough to bet on it?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Gloria huffed again. "Bede's not interested in someone like me."

That's right. The memory hit her square in the chest, winding her. A chill spread through her body, through her heart, as though she'd swallowed a block of ice. His type is someone so different to me, she remembered. The person Bede likes is…

Who?

Her stomach sank. She didn't want to think about that, about the person he'd described to her. Honest and diligent, the one Bede had spoken about seemed so far away from her, and she didn't know why it bothered her so much.

She didn't know why it bothered her at all.

Was there someone Bede would rather spend his time with?

"Ten thousand Poké," Hop said. He still wore his ridiculous grin, still taunting her. "I bet you ten thousand Poké that Bede has a crush on you."

Gloria frowned. The thought made her feel ill. "I don't want to bet on that," she said.

"Why? 'Cause you know I'm right?"

"Because I know you're wrong!" she huffed, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "He already likes someone, and it isn't me, okay? I know because he told me."

The smirk fell from Hop's face. "He told you that? When? Where? What did he say?"

"It doesn't matter," she said, turning away from him.

"Come on, Gloria. There's no way he likes someone else- trust me, I know for sure."

Hop placed a hand on her shoulder. It was meant to be a comforting gesture, but it only served to enrage the storm churning in her gut. Nausea rose up her throat, she tasted bile. Her heart, having fallen into her stomach, pounding heavily with slow, rhythmic panic.

"Don't-" she swatted his hand away, "-don't say that. He doesn't like me, okay? And I don't want him to. I don't want anyone to."

Something squeezed tight in her chest. Crushing. Heavy. It sucked all the air from her lungs, made it impossible to breathe.

I don't want that, she thought, clamping her eyes shut as a wave of pain, of grief, crashed over her. I don't want love.

Love hurt. It brought suffering and heartache. It destroyed, leaving nothing but pain in its wake and scars that never heal. She'd seen what it had done to her mother, felt an echo of it herself. A monster wearing the guise of hopes and dreams.

Gloria breathed out shakily, opening her eyes. She felt cold.

"I thought you liked him," Hop said slowly.

Her heart thumped. "I don't," she said. "Not like that."

The weight in her voice struck a chord with Hop. His expression fell, and he looked away from her as realisation filled his eyes.

"You still don't want anything to do with love?" he asked. "Even after all this time? Even with Bede?"

A sliver of ice dug into her heart. "What does Bede have to do with that?"

"I thought… with him, it might be different for you," Hop said. "That you might stop denying yourself happiness if it was Bede."

Gloria stood abruptly. Clinched her hands at her sides, affronted by Hop's suggestion. She turned to him, stared him down.

"I'm not denying myself anything. I'm protecting myself. From pain, from grief, from the kind of hurt you've never experienced," she said, her voice a whisper, a hiss in the silence. "I don't need love to be happy."

She stalked from the lab, leaving Hop and his questions, his naive hope, behind.

The next day, Gloria stood in her bedroom and tried to quell the nerves building in her chest. After her conversation with Hop, after she'd stormed out on him, the things he'd said kept returning to her mind. The way he'd gloated about it being Gloria's first date with Bede. The way he'd brushed aside her determination not to fall in love, as though her promise was paper thin, the flimsy words of a child, as though he knew better.

He knew nothing. Nothing of pain, of heartache, of grief. He didn't know what it was like to have a third of his family taken in an instant, to have his word turned upside down in a split second. Hop didn't know what it was like to be the only one left for his grieving mother to hold onto.

Gloria was all her mother had left. She grit her teeth, forced away the pain. Hop didn't understand, but that didn't mean he didn't care. His words had come from a place of kindness. He hadn't meant the damage he'd caused, she'd seen the hurt reflected in his eyes when she'd stormed out, the regret he'd been unable to voice. She hadn't given him a chance to.

In a way, in the deepest recess of her heart, Gloria feared that Hop was right. There was some truth to his words- something had shifted inside her when it came to Bede. Her guard slipped. She found herself wanting to be with him more, to know him more. The space he occupied inside her mind had grown to proportions she hadn't imagined possible, and he took over her thoughts when she least expected it. The slightest of things reminded her of him. The scent of tea, cookbooks in store windows, Great Balls in the hands of young trainers.

And there in her wardrobe hung the beautiful dress she'd bought for the Gala. Hidden in it's black protective sleeve, the floor-length dress was beautiful with a delicate lace bodice and flowing chiffon skirt. It was gorgeous - and expensive, she'd winced at the price tag when she'd glanced at it - but she'd been drawn to it for more than it's design alone.

She knew why, now- for the dress was a stunning, deep violet. A colour that had quickly become her favourite for reasons she refused to ponder. Gloria refused to look at it. Refused to think about it or what others would assume when they saw it. Would anyone else - journalists, sponsors, her friends - make the connection?

Would Bede?

Gloria clenched her jaw harder until it ached. There was no connection, no deeper meaning, to her choice of dress. It was a coincidence, nothing more. She shook off that thought as a needle of fear stabbed through her chest. Her hands trembled for a moment. She took a deep breath and collected the shoes she'd laid out by her bed the night before- barely a few inches high, the silver heels still daunted her- and stuffed them unceremoniously into her bag. She didn't have time for this. She had an appointment, a date as Bede had said, to attend.

No, it's not a date, Gloria reminded herself. He was just teasing you, like he always does.

A tiny part of her ached, knowing she was right. She quashed it before it could surface any further, driving it hard into the pit of her stomach like it was a revolting bug to crush beneath her heel. Stamp it out, grind it into dust.

Let nothing of it remain.

The backstage of Ballonlea's Gym had transformed into a place of wonders. Costumes hung from racks, fantastical dresses and robes fit for kings strung up like garments in a store. Props sat atop boxes, shiny swords with ornate hilts next to thick books bound in leather, and Gloria might have believed she'd been transported to another time if it wasn't for the bluetooth speakers filling the room with an orchestral piece and the Rotom phones in the hands of actors on break. She stopped by the door to stare at painted murals slanted against the wall. They depicted different scenes, each exquisitely detailed, from the interiors of a castle to palace gardens.

Gobsmacked by the sight before her, Gloria remembered that the Ballonlea theatre was as highly regarded as the Gym. She'd never been backstage inbetween League Challenges, and as a result had never witnessed the inner workings of the theatre as they put together their plays. Actors were strewn throughout the large backstage area and into practice rooms on either side of the hall, memorising scripts, repeating lines and rehearsing scenes. Some were even in costume, clashing practice swords in a mock battle. As her eyes skipped from actor to actor, she saw someone turn in her direction. Her heart caught.

Bede. He stood tall, his lean figure accentuated by the form-fitting pants - or were they leggings? - that he wore, and he walked over to Gloria with subtle grace. She swallowed thickly and stopped her mouth from falling open as he drew closer. Her heart raced, she suddenly felt on edge. As if all eyes had turned on her, as if her nervous tells were obvious to the world, to Bede. He was dressed for theatre practice, wearing dark leggings and a thin turtleneck shirt, and Gloria chewed the inside of her cheek, cursing how attractive he managed to be in every situation. Coils of heat made their home on her cheeks when he stepped up to her. With a toss of his platinum blond curls, his lips pulled into a faint smile.

It's a date, those words echoed in her head again. She shot them down quickly. It's just a phrase. He didn't mean anything by it.

"You're three minutes late," Bede said, tilting his head in amusement as he gazed down at her. "No matter. I'll work you harder in order to make up for it."

Gloria flushed. "Three minutes is barely late," she said. "Besides, I arrived in Ballonlea before nine."

His eyes twinkled with mirth. Violet. That soft colour striking her speechless.

"And yet, our agreed meeting time was nine, and you somehow missed it," Bede said. He smirked, turning on his heels and motioning for her to follow. "This way. I've reserved a room for us."

Gloria bit back her retort and skipped to follow Bede away from the bustle and commotion of the backstage crowd. He led her down the hall to a secluded room that had mirrors lining the back wall from floor to ceiling. There were speakers plugged in by a corner, a drink bottle beside them, and Bede walked over to it and set his phone on top.

"Put your bag down off to the side so it won't get in the way," Bede said. He busied himself with the speakers and his phone for a few seconds before standing. "Did you bring your heels like I asked?"

He turned to look at her, and she realised she hadn't moved an inch since she'd stepped into the room.

"Yes, of course!" Gloria said, startling and shucking off her bag.

She shoved her backpack into the corner of the room as she flushed. She'd been too busy watching Bede, too busy following his graceful movements with her eyes, too enraptured by how lean and fit he looked when he'd squatted by the speakers with ease. The leggings he wore were practical, giving Bede's legs a range of movement that other clothes would've restricted, but the sleek black fabric was form-fitting and accentuated the shape of his thighs and the curve of his backside that she wouldn't have noticed otherwise.

Arceus, Gloria! she chided herself as her heart lurched into her throat. She flushed with heat, nerves fluttering in her lungs. Get a hold of yourself! He's your friend, don't gawk at him like that.

It didn't matter how attractive Bede was, it wasn't right for her to ogle at him like a rabid, obsessed fan. It was shameful. She bit down a pang of disgust at herself and pulled her silver heels from her bag.

Bede nodded appreciatively at them. "Good. Leave them there for now, I'll have you practice with them later," he said. "First, let's run through the basics."

'The basics,' according to Bede, started with her jogging a few laps of the room and stretching in order to warm up. He then had her go through the steps facing the mirrors, following the movements Bede made as he ran through them beside her. She stepped when he did, quickly getting over her apprehension and the embarrassment of holding her arms up as though she were dancing with an invisible partner. Slow music trickled from the speakers and filled the room, Gloria's shoes clacking against the floor to the gentle rhythm. Bede's steps were silent and enviously more graceful than hers, but with him going through the same movements, she felt at ease. He called out each step before they took it, carefully watching her to make sure she got it right. Occasionally, their eyes met in the mirror. Bede gave her nods of approval or the hint of a smile. Always, his gaze held more than he let show in his expression, and it sparked something ablaze in Gloria's chest. She cut her attention away, catching herself before she stumbled or missed a step.

She hadn't yet fallen on her face in front of Bede and was determined to keep it that way. Despite how distracting he was.

Soon enough, to the appreciation of Gloria's aching arms, Bede called for a break. She dropped her arms to her sides with a heavy sigh.

"People actually do this for fun?" Gloria huffed as she stalked over to her bag to retrieve her water bottle. She drank greedily, uncaring of the droplets cascading down her chin to slide beneath the front of her top. The water was cool and refreshing, and she would've tipped a bit more down her front if Bede wasn't with her.

He turned away from her stiffly and coughed into his hand. "Dancing at functions is an important Galarian tradition," Bede said. For a moment, it sounded like his voice was slightly strained. He drank from his water bottle, and when he spoke again, his voice was clearer. "These steps haven't changed for hundreds of years, and remain a constant fixture at events such as the League Gala. It's imperative that you learn, as being able to dance expertly is a symbol of status."

Right. Because Gloria cared about status. She stopped herself from rolling her eyes. She was more worried about making a fool of herself in front of all the people, the sponsors, the media, her friends, that would be at the Gala. Status, reputation, when she wasn't in the spotlight, it didn't matter to her.

"When did you learn how to dance?" Gloria asked, splashing some water on her face.

Bede's expression hardened for a split second, long enough for her to catch the twitch of his brow, the stiffening of his jaw, and the shadows that flickered behind his eyes. The darkness that overcame his face was gone in an instant. Had Gloria blinked, she would have missed it entirely.

"Years ago," Bede said, "as per Oleana's instructions, I had the steps drilled into me so that if such a time came where I would accompany the Chairman to functions, I wouldn't make a fool of myself and tarnish his image."

Of course. Gloria's heart sank. She should have known, shouldn't have asked. Prying into Bede's past, despite how much she longed to know more about him, hardly ever went well. The pain in his eyes was one she'd felt herself- the pain of dredging up old wounds. Even now, fragmented as it was, pieces of Rose's hold over Bede remained. Memories slowly faded like scars, never truly disappearing.

"Turns out, he needn't have worried about me ruining his image- he managed that well enough himself," Bede said, his expression lifting. "Besides, now I'm skilled enough to dance at functions that require my attendance as a Gym Leader. Skilled enough to teach the Champion how to dance herself."

He turned to her as he said that last part, and the pride in his eyes, the satisfaction in his smile, eased a weight off Gloria's heart. She found herself smiling back at him.

"Guess I should be thanking Rose for his foresight," she said.

Bede scoffed. "Hardly."

Gloria stepped over to him. She was drawn to Bede's side by a firm tug on her heart, by the tender warmth pooling through her chest, and she smiled brighter.

"I'll settle for thanking you instead," Gloria said.

"As you should." He nodded, and walked back towards the wall of mirrors. "It's time you learn how to dance with a partner," Bede said.

He turned on his heels to face her, waiting in the centre of the room, and held his left hand out, palm up, with his right held behind his back. He eyed Gloria intently, and her heart skipped. She knew this would happen eventually, that she'd have to practice with Bede as her partner, but the sight of him there, waiting for her to approach, sent nerves skittering through her chest. She breathed in a deep, silent breath, and stepped up to him. Slowly, she placed her hand in his.

And he closed the distance between them. In a split second, his arm was around her. His chest was right in front of her face. She let out an undignified speak at the touch of his hand low on her back, jolting at the sensation.

"Ah, sorry," Bede said, dropping his hand from her back. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Gloria straightened, blushing at the embarrassing sound that had slipped from her lips. She shook her head hurriedly and peeked up at him. An echo of his touch lingered on her skin, the slightest pressure on the small of her back that tingled with warmth.

"That's- that's okay," she said. Her voice was strained. Tight. "I-I didn't realise we'd have to stand this close to dance."

It was difficult to speak with her face flooded with heat. Her eyes were at the level of his collarbones, and she could make out the threads of his turtleneck shirt at this distance. She took short, shallow breaths. They were so close, she was afraid to breathe too deeply lest her chest brush against his.

"You don't seem to mind getting closer than this to me when we hug," Bede said, quirking an eyebrow at her in amusement.

"That's different!" Gloria said.

Why was it different? Her protest didn't make sense. She stared straight at his chest, unable to lift her gaze to meet his eyes. Her heart thundered at a dizzying pace, and she was grateful for the music playing from the speakers- the pounding of her heart was deafening in her ears, she worried that Bede would be able to hear it in the silence.

"Well, you'll have to get used to this if you want to learn how to dance properly," Bede said. "I'll take it slow for you, alright?"

His hand returned to the small of her back, and she sucked in a gasp at his touch.

"Don't tell me, you're ticklish here?" he asked, gently sweeping his fingers over the spot.

A tingle shot down Gloria's spine. She jumped back, stifling a yelp in her throat.

"D-Don't do that!" she squeaked. She rubbed her back where he'd teased her, trying to remove the sensation of his touch.

Bede lifted a hand to his lips, covering up his smirk and his quiet breath of laughter. Gloria scowled at him, pouting. It wasn't fair that he could play her so easily like this. She wasn't ticklish on her back- not at all, but the touch of his fingers had sparked something across her skin, something that left her confused and indignant.

"My bad," Bede said. His voice was light with mirth, eyes twinkling at her. "I won't do that again."

Gloria narrowed her eyes slightly, pressing her lips together firmly as she watched him. He'd enjoyed her reaction so much, she wasn't sure she trusted him not to try that again. Bede's expression softened when she didn't budge, and he held out his hand with an apologetic smile.

"I promise," he said, and Gloria gave in.

How could she not, when he was looking at her like that? She stepped up to him and took his hand, holding her breath to steady herself when he set his right hand low on her back again.

"Place your hand on my shoulder," Bede said, directing her free hand so that it was resting lightly on his shoulder.

Gloria nodded, still staring at his chest.

"You realise your dance partner might take offense if you stare at their chest the whole time, right?" Bede said. "At the very least, you should try and meet their eyes."

"Sorry," Gloria said, and forced herself to look up. Her heart thumped heavily in her chest when their eyes met, and a renewed rush of warmth swept across her face. She fought the desire to look away.

The corner of Bede's mouth twitched with the hint of a smile as he nodded. "Good. Next, try not to look like a stunned Magikarp, and I'm sure you'll do fine."

Gloria balked at him. "A stunned Magikarp?!"

"There. That's much better," he said with a smirk. "You'll dance a lot finer if you just be yourself."

She blinked for a moment, realising what he'd done. Her heart still raced, she still felt flushed with heat, but no longer was her body stiff with nervous energy. Gloria could look Bede in the eyes without wishing to flee. He'd eased that all away with a simple jest.

"You're horrible," she said, shaking her head. She managed to smile, her voice soft with amusement.

"Ah, but you're the one who came to me for lessons," Bede said. "Surely you knew what you were getting into."

With that, he pulled her into the first steps of their dance. The time they'd spent practicing earlier came back to her after she stumbled for the first few seconds, almost kicking Bede's shin at one point, and before long, they were dancing smoothly in time to the music. Gloria repressed the urge to look at her feet, and instead found herself meeting Bede's smile with her own. A flicker of pride showed in his eyes. Pride, satisfaction, and something more that she couldn't place. With each step, her confidence grew. She relaxed further, following Bede through the motions of the dance as it came easier and easier for her. A smile broke across her face whenever their eyes met, a bubble of something sweet and tender blooming in her chest.

Dancing, as foreign as it had been when they'd first begun, soon felt natural. It felt natural to sway and step with Bede like this. To be so close, to share smiles and breaths of laughter. It was obvious to Gloria now why people danced, why it was a cemented Galarian tradition, for she felt so light, so carefree, she wouldn't have minded if the dance lasted forever.

Bede slowed, and Gloria came to an abrupt halt, stopping herself in time so she didn't continue and step right into him. She blinked as Bede dropped his hand from her back.

"You got the hang of it rather quickly," he said, releasing her hand. "Next, you need to be able to master the steps in your heels."

Oh. Gloria blanched, glancing to where her heels sat next to her bag.

"Have you worn them in yet?" Bede asked.

Gloria twisted her lips and trudged over to her shoes. "Not exactly…"

"Not exactly?" Bede echoed. Gloria suppressed a pout at the disapproval in his voice. "Have you worn them at all?"

She sat on the floor by her heels, pointedly focusing on taking her shoes off so she didn't have to suffer under the unimpressed look Bede was giving her.

"I tried them on in the store," Gloria said, her protest dying beneath her breath. She slid her feet into the sparkly silver heels, weaving the thin straps through the clasps.

Bede sighed. "You really should be wearing them for a couple of minutes every day, in order to loosen them up and get yourself used to them," he said. "It won't matter how well you can dance in your regular shoes if you stumble in heels at the Gala."

Gloria pursed her lips and stood. He was right, annoyingly so as always, but that didn't stop her from grumbling wordlessly at him as she found her balance. Bede raised an eyebrow at her, watching the way she stood with her legs stiff and taut.

"Walk the length of the room," he said.

She frowned for a moment before complying and walking towards the mirrors. Bede studied her as she passed him. Each step she took felt awkward, as though she were walking on stilts instead of heels a few inches high. The clack of her shoes made her even more self-conscious, and she wanted to shrink away at the noise.

"Stop."

Gloria froze. With a sigh, Bede stepped up beside her, their eyes meeting in the mirror.

"This is exactly why you need to practice walking in heels," he said. "You're walking like a baby Ponyta taking its first steps, not like the Champion of Galar."

Gloria pressed her lips firmly together. "Hey, it's harder than it looks! You're lucky you don't have to wear shoes like this- I'm terrified I'm going to roll my ankles if I'm not careful!"

"If walking in heels is as difficult as you make it out to be, no one would be wearing them," Bede said. He gave her an unimpressed look at her complaints.

"You're saying that because you've never worn high heels before," Gloria said with a huff. "I'd like to see you trot around in these without an issue."

She met his gaze in the mirror with defiance. Bede looked as though he was about to bark back at her, his brow furrowing slightly, eyes narrowing, but then he sighed and turned on his heels.

"Fine," Bede said, stalking towards the door. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

Gloria blinked at him, stunned into silence, and he whisked through the door and clicked it shut behind him. She stood there, confused, and shifted awkwardly on her feet. She definitely needed to get used to her heels. Barely five minutes into wearing them and she already wanted to kick them off. The looming Gala and the hours she'd have to spend on her feet seemed more daunting than ever before, and she hadn't even attempted to dance in her heels yet. She faced the mirror and practiced a few steps of the dance. Her movements were stiff, ankles wobbling as she tried to balance on her heels. She jumped when the door swung open. She whirled in shock, mouth dropping open, as Bede cut across the room towards her wearing a pair of sleek black high heels that looked straight out of Nessa's wardrobe. He walked with confidence, with his head held high, his steps smooth and graceful despite the pencil-thin heels that were taller than Gloria's.

Bede deposited his regular shoes by the wall, before stepping over to Gloria with a smirk.

"What were you saying?" Bede said, "I've never worn heels before?"

Gloria gaped wordlessly, fumbling to find something, anything, to say. "You- How? When? Why?" She gestured wildly at him, at his high heels, and shook her head in disbelief. "Since when do you wear heels?!"

"Not of my own accord, I assure you," Bede said. He lifted an eyebrow at her, as though slightly put off by her shock. "Some of our plays require historically accurate attire, heels being a part of that. These are not mine, I simply borrowed them from an actress that has a shoe size close enough to mine."

"Right." Gloria nodded, trying to wrap her head around this. "I just… never expected you to actually… wear shoes like that. Willingly, at least."

"It will be easier to show you how to walk naturally in high heels if I demonstrate myself," Bede said, nonplussed. He turned towards the mirror, gesturing for her to do the same. "In order not to walk like a stilted Girafarig, you need to step toe-to-heel, rather than heel-to-toe."

Bede swept his leg forward, touching the front of his shoes to the ground as he said, the heel coming into contact with the floor a split second later.

"Don't exaggerate the movement," he continued, "the heel should hit right after, if not with, the front part of your shoe as you walk. Like so."

He turned and walked parallel to the mirrors, giving Gloria a side-on view of his gait.

"The length of your steps will naturally be reduced in heels. Compensate by taking small, but faster, steps than usual, in order to maintain a normal pace."

Bede reached the end of the mirrors and spun on his feet to face the opposite direction as deftly as a ballerina. He continued his walk, returning the way he'd come.

"You'll have a natural inclination to lean forward if you try to walk faster than your heels will allow, so lean back slightly to compensate," he said. "A sloppy posture will destroy your efforts to fit in, and put all the training I've given you to waste. Above all, do not slouch."

Gloria bit back a smile. "It sounds like you're trying to teach me etiquette," she said with the hint of a laugh.

He raised an eyebrow at her as he passed. "Am I not?"

"Maybe."

A bubble of amusement, of enjoyment, built in her chest. She clasped her hands behind her back as she watched Bede walk to the end of the mirrors again, the trepidation inside her having lifted. He turned around to face her, and she knew it was time for her to practice.

"Right. Now that you've seen what it should look like, I'll have you walk the length of these mirrors like I did," Bede said, and stepped over to her.

"Okay. I can do that," Gloria said, nodding to herself in order to cement a thread of confidence inside her. She turned side-on to the mirrors, and absently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ears as Bede's attention fixed on her. A different wave of nerves flooded her chest, and she straightened instinctively beneath his gaze.

She took a deep breath, flexed her fingers at her sides, and stared at a single spot on the wall in front of her.

Pretend he's not watching you, she told herself. Just ignore him completely.

The thumping of her heart refused to slow. There was something about having Bede focus on her so intently that made her stomach flutter as though she'd swallowed a swarm of Combee. She warmed from the inside out, and struggled to recall his advice as she went to step forward.

What is wrong with me today? It's just Bede. Nothing's happened, nothing's changed. Gloria puzzled over her thoughts as she walked along the wall of mirrors. One foot in front of the other, toe first as Bede had advised her, she tried to ignore the feeling of his eyes on her. She kept thinking back to their phone call. To the phrase Bede had used.

This isn't a date, she reminded herself as she reached the wall and turned to walk back the other way. She stiffened when her eyes fell on Bede. He had a hand cupped over his mouth, watching her with a deep, thoughtful expression. His ardent concentration made her heart flop. She wobbled on her heels, and his eyes flicked up to her face with a beat of concern before she broke into a fast-paced walk to get past him as quickly as she could.

"Not bad, I suppose," Bede said. He turned to face her as she passed him. "Practice walking like this in front of a mirror every day until the Gala, and you should be fine."

Gloria slumped with a sigh of relief.

"Make sure you don't do that at the Gala," Bede said, muffling his laugh behind his hand.

She pouted at him, but it was sweet to hear him laugh, however brief it was. His violet eyes softened with his smile, and it made her heart soften in response. She loved having him be so genuine with her, comfortable enough to smile and laugh without a care. Comfortable enough to wear heels fit for a model to prove a point.

"So, are we going to practice dancing with you in those heels, or-" Gloria cut herself off when Bede turned and marched towards his shoes by the wall. She was still suppressing her laughter when he walked back to her wearing his regular shoes.

"There's no point in having me practice dancing in heels," Bede said. "I have no desire to wear those unless strictly needed."

"Aw, but you look so graceful in them," Gloria teased. She blinked up at him coyly, taking his hand when he held it out for her.

Bede huffed, rolling his eyes. "Of course I do. I wouldn't be seen dead in them otherwise- too many people view men in heels as a comedy act, something to ridicule. I refuse to fumble about for anyone's entertainment, which means I can't settle for less than perfection in my gait. They can hardly laugh at me when I'm as skilled as - if not more than - any woman in heels."

Gloria blinked at Bede as he set his hand on her back, drawing her closer as they began to dance.

"I didn't think about it that way," she said, surprised. "I guess a lot of people would see a guy wearing heels as some sort of joke."

"Exactly."

They fell back into the rhythm of their dance, one step following another, and Gloria quickly realised something was different. She was taller in heels, which meant she was no longer staring at Bede's collarbones but rather at the level of his shoulders. She was closer to his face, closer to him, now. The fluttering returned to her lungs. Strangely giddy, strangely warm, as though a simple change in height had shifted something inside her. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling- if anything, she wanted to bask in it. It was like a weird combination of delight and anxiety, swirling together in her stomach and flooding her veins. She was enjoying the moment, yet dreading it at the same time. With Bede, she felt comfortable. Light. Happy. And strange. Gloria glanced at his eyes, but quickly looked away before he noticed.

Why am I being so weird about this? she thought as she tried to swallow down the bundle of nerves building inside her. This is all Hop's fault for suggesting those things yesterday. For saying that Bede had a crush on me, that I had a crush on-

Gloria stopped. Her heart stopped.

No.

"Gloria?"

She shot away from him like she'd been zapped. Cold. She felt cold. Cold and numb and-

Bede was looking at her in concern.

"I-I just need a drink," Gloria said, whirling on her feet. Panic rose up her throat. Choking. Tight. The edges of her vision went dark. She stumbled over to her bag and snatched her water bottle off the floor, unscrewing the lid with trembling hands.

No.

She drank quickly. Drank too much, forced the water past the lump in her throat.

This isn't-

She couldn't breathe. There wasn't enough air in the room. Her heartbeat deafened her thoughts, pounding in her ears with creeping dread. Darkness fell over her mind. Gloria turned away from her bag, her stomach lurching as her eyes drew towards Bede. He stood still, stretching out his arms. Tall and elegant. Handsome yet beautiful, with a model's poise, as graceful as a prince. He was kind. Forgiving, understanding. He never pushed her harder than she could take, but made her want to strive to be something more. He was her friend. Her rival. She loved his smile, his determination. His wit. She loved that she could be herself around him. She loved his company, his rare but sweet laughter. Everything about him. Gloria loved-

Bede looked to her with a start. Water sloshed over her feet. Her bottle lay on the floor, water trickling out, having slipped from her hands.

No.

Her heart pounded. Concern worried his brow, he stepped towards her.

"Gloria? What's wrong?"

She stepped back into her bag. Panic as cold as ice shot through her veins.

No-

She couldn't move. Bede came closer, worried. Saying something she couldn't hear.

Don't come over here!

Panic seized her. Gloria grabbed her bag, shoving her discarded shoes into it. Her heart boomed between her ears like an earth-shaking drum.

"I-" she choked on her words. "I need to go-"

Bede frowned with concern. She wanted to vomit. To scream. To cry. To protest-

To flee.

Gloria ran. Out the way she'd come, the backstage a blur of colours, of people, of costume racks she almost crashed into. She bolted, tripping on her heels. She stumbled. Lurched forward, caught herself before she could hit the ground. Her lungs burned. Her throat burned.

Tears burned in her eyes.

She shot out of the Gym, throwing a Pokeball to the ground in front of her. She leapt onto her Corviknight's back before the surge of light had faded, and called for her Pokemon to fly, to go, to get her away from here.

Away from the one calling her name.

She didn't look back. She couldn't. Gloria buried her face in Corviknight's steel feathers as they took to the sky, and she shut everything out. She felt nothing, thought of nothing, until they landed in Wedgehurst.

Gloria stumbled off the back of her Corviknight and hit the ground hard. Her legs drove her forward. Through the pain, the fear, the panic, through the front doors of the Pokemon laboratory. She shoved them open with force, and they swung open to crash against the wall. She didn't care. Couldn't care. Hop saw her.

And Gloria crumbled. She fell to the floor, legs buckling beneath her, and the look on her face was enough for Hop to know something was wrong. He was in front of her in an instant.

"Glo, what happened?!" Hop asked, reaching for her.

It was too much. Gloria collapsed into him with a broken wail. Everything she'd held back broke forth all at once, and she shattered. She screamed. She clung to him with desperation, nails clawing into his lab coat, face pressed to his shoulder. Hop wrapped his arms around her.

"It's okay, it's okay," Hop said, repeating those words again and again. "I'm here. you're alright, you're okay."

It hurt. Her lungs, her throat, her heart. She was in pieces. Fractured. Broken. All she felt was pain.

Guilt.

Gloria's sobs tore from her throat like daggers of ice. Her scream rose from her chest like bloodied thorns, tearing her skin, her lungs, leaving her bleeding. Raw. It ached.

There was nothing left of her.

She couldn't hear Hop's whispers, couldn't feel his touch. Amidst her sobs were broken words.

"I don't-"

Gloria clung to Hop. Tighter, firmer, muffling her words into his coat.

"I don't want this-"

Why-

It hurt.

Why did this happen?

Hop held her tighter in return. "Oh, Gloria…" Understanding in his voice.

He knew.

"I don't want this…!" She shook her head, again and again, against his shoulder. Into his lab coat, smearing her tears across the stainless white. "I don't want this…!"

"I know," Hop said softly. Quietly. A gentle recognition that only she could hear. "I know…"

It was too late. Her guard had slipped, her walls had lowered too far. She'd thought she was safe.

She was a fool. Her heart, fractured and broken, lay in pieces in her hands. A million shattered pieces. She'd fallen from the precipice she'd danced around for so long, stepped too close to the edge one too many times, and this was the result. Her fate. Her punishment.

No, she'd slipped from that edge long ago, only realising when she'd hit the bottom.

Hop had been right all along.

Gloria was in love with Bede.

#bederia #bede #gloria #bederia week 2021 #btyu #dressedinpinkshipping

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