#also i lied about it being a two parter turns out i have lots to say

[mediumgayitalian]

at what point is nico too gratuitously down bad. we are about to find out 💀

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 43

LOTS OF PLOT we're jumping on two years, it's 1969, and we're back with Smith, Amy, Rory and River for the Impossible Astronaut. Also Sterling from Leverage, that's fun.

Nothing else about this episode is fun.

I'm going to limit too much of this rant, but fucking hell. There are two (2) things on a loop in my head as I watch this episode, to whit:

The very first episode we watched was Fires of Pompeii. Donna wants to evacuate the city, the Doctor says they can't and tells her to listen. "I don't know what sort of kids you've been travelling with," Donna snarls. "But you're not telling me to shut up."

Just before the casting of Peter Capaldi was announced, Doctor Who was at its height in the UK cultural zeitgeist. For the first time, the public were talking very seriously about how much they wanted the Doctor to finally be a woman. And a female journalist at the time wrote a think piece about how she wanted it to still be a man, because she wanted her daughters to have a role model of how men are supposed to be, and behave.

Let's find out why those are haunting me!

So we start with the Doctor being shot in the head by an astronaut in America, and literally dying, but then it turns out he sent invites to Amy, Rory, River, a random American man, and his younger self, hinting them back to 1969. Before they leave, they need to burn his corpse.

"What do we do?" intones Karen Gillan so unconvincingly you'd think she was a "grieving" rich widower standing over the body of her fifth elderly husband.

"What the Doctor's friends always do," Alex Kingston says with genuine gravitas, because she's great. "What we're told."

...

...

...

ah I see why I'm thinking of Donna

Anyway, off they go. The Doctor spends his time being the epitome of toxic masculinity. At one point he literally yells the sentence "I'm being clever and there's no one to pay attention! What's the point of you!" I expect this was supposed to be humorous, but this was merely the latest whiny pathetic Elon Musk-esque mantrum, so it did not hit right. At another point he starts showing off how to fly the TARDIS, and River steps up and secretly corrects him behind his back. When he asks her if she touched anything, she lies, to preserve his manly ego (I am expected to find this #Feminist I think.) At several points he then insults these people we have just supposedly seen devastated and grieving over his loss; "Don't play games with me, don't EVER, ever think you're capable of it," he stamps and sulks (and he is genuinely sulking as he does.) He mocks Amy's weight, Rory's nose, and River's age. It honestly genuinely leaves you wondering why a single one of them gives a shit about his death. Oh, and here's one for the list, in a bit - River gives Rory an impassioned monologue about how her relationship with the Doctor works. They're both time travellers, so they're moving in opposite directions. This means that

a) One day, she will meet him and he won't remember her. "On that day, it will kill me," she says. This seems portentous.

b) When she first met him she was a young impressionable girl and he was this amazing man who knew everything about her. "Can you imagine what that does to a girl?" she says, describing herself as having been fucking groomed.

I see why I'm remembering a woman claiming this was a role model.

ANYWAY this is also the first of a two-parter. We go back to 1969, and learn there's a little girl phoning Richard Nixon every night asking for help; he's called in Sterling, who here is an ex-FBI agent who left because he wanted an illegal marriage (so either inter-racial, gay, or both, I'm assuming.) The gang go and find said girl in an abandoned warehouse full of Doug Jones, dressed as a creepy alien with penis fingers like King Prince Charles that everyone forgets whenever they look away (the whole alien, not the penis fingers.) She's also dressed as an astronaut, and has possibly been experimented on. Also Amy monopolises the Doctor's time across two separate scenes while he's trying to save a child by VERY VERY SLOWLY and with a billion repeated filler lines telling him she's pregnant, so... does that date us on Amy's timeline? I mean we know that's River now.

I mean we also know River is the one who supposedly kills the Doctor, so that'll be the astronaut. And the girl? Probably, though I don't remember the previous versions being American. Or wait! I do! Mels said she regenerated as a child in New York, so yeah, we know that. Honestly, very strange they're presenting all this as a surprise when we already know. Almost as though this is a deeply stupid order to watch the show in that ruins plot twists.

Well. Anyway. Then Amy shoots a literal child who is pleading for help. Believe it or not, that's actually the height of usefulness for her in this episode. Sexy Lamp test profoundly failed by Amy and Rory.

OKAY SO PLOT POINTS!!!! Let's see, let's see...

I mean hilariously the mysteries of this episode are almost entirely already known. River kills him. River is Amy's unborn child. River is the astronaut. The Doctor is the reason she's in prison, because she kills him. Is this why Amy and Rory thought he was dead? Maybe. Also, we know it's the Silents who brainwash Melody, so... presumably this is to do with them.

BUT, who are the penis fingered aliens? Haven't met them yet. We have our second reference to fish fingers and custard, which apparently massively matter to Amy. Um... Oh, yeah, River says she'll die one day when the Doctor doesn't remember her. Tbh babe you can do better. Hope you don't mean that.

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest. The Thijarian planet was destroyed by some sort of impact). Is this the Flux?

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy. Nope: she is definitely not blown up)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again. NEW INFO: NOPE, back to not working.)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (She’s with the Silents, but we don’t know why Amy saw her)

Why is Amy’s pregnancy inconclusive? (Maybe because the baby had Time Lord DNA?) She's deffo pregnant and the baby becomes River, but why inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri (Not anymore, somehow)

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory? How did she forget a Dalek invasion?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die?

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

What’s happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?

What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?

What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”

If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?

How did the rest of the Time Lords die?

How and why did Amy melt?

What’s the question that will make silence fall?

Why do the Silents… want silence to fall?

How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he… hasn’t even heard of them?

How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?

What’s the significance of fish fingers and custard? NEW INFO: same question but I'm repeating it

Why does the Doctor feel guilt about Rose, Martha and Donna?

What happened with the space whale?

When does Rory defend Amy for 2000 years?

How does the Doctor survive River. NEW INFO: he doesn't, apparently

How does he erase himself from history

Did Captain Jack lose his memories to the same people as the Doctor? What did he lose?

When did the Doctor send the Daleks into a void to save the universe?

What’s with the weird crack in the wall and is it affecting memories?

Why do Amy and Rory think the Doctor is dead? NEW INFO: is it because of River as an astronaut?

Is Matt Smith’s Doctor a tree racist?

Why is the beautiful geode woman stealing people into a Passenger form?

Who are the penis fingered aliens?

River says she'll die one day when the Doctor doesn't remember her, let's hope she doesn't mean it

[variousqueerthings]

Okay, well, what would you prefer then? The Dustmen?

Sleep No More! this season's dedicated spooky episode. I feel like I ought to have vibed more with this one than I did and I dunno why it didn't work with me that well. maybe I powered through s9 too quickly (EDIT: I have now analysed why it didn't work so well for me, ey!)

also: is this the first out trans actor we've had on this show? definitely some things to say about that

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 10/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 4/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 6/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 3/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 3/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 9/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 6/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 10/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 6/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 4/10

FULL RATING: 61/100 (if I can count….)

ok ok let's get into it!

OBJECTIFICATION: see, cured!

PLOT-POINT: I mean, it's a standalone episode that doesn't do much beyond the episode itself, so it doesn't really need to give Clara much development. still, I think in a season in which Clara doesn't have many emotional beats, considering what's coming up in the very next episode... I'd have liked something perhaps

COMPLEXITY: it's complexity lies in its structure and I am nooot convinced by it. there's nothing wrong as such with found footage, but it feels gimmicky very fast, and I think there should have been more done with the fact that the dust was "watching" them

the fact that it's basically the beats of a low-budget horror should have meant I vibed with it more, but I think because in the end a lot of it is just running from place to place while going "whaat is even happening here" makes it feel a bit thin

also the ending is probably an "either you like it or you don't" type ending, so I have nothing against it as such. I think the single-episode characters were thinner than a lot of the other ones we've seen throughout the years, which is kind of a shame, because there is some interesting Stuff to dig into with the wider world they inhabit (which we'll get to) but these are all -- with the exception of Nagata I think -- relatively threadbare. this might also be a feeling arising from the other episodes being two-parters, so we got more time with the "under the lake" gang idk. but maybe actually that's why I'm judging it a bit harsher -- this is a concept I've seen before a few times, done better

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: nothing much here either, although there is a delightful little exchange between Clara and the Doctor right at the beginning that goes like this --

CLARA: Looks like a Japanese restaurant. Oh! Have you brought me to a space restaurant? DOCTOR: People never do that, you know? CLARA: Do what? DOCTOR: They never put the word space in front of something just because everything's all sort of hi-tech and future-y. It's never space restaurant or space champagne or space, you know, hat. It's just restaurant, champagne or hat. Even if this was a restaurant. CLARA: What about spacesuit? DOCTOR: Pedant.

I just think that gives me more on them as characters than often exists in their episodes together, which often feel like they go so fast and are so specific to Plot things, that I've often struggled to engage with their dynamic as ostensibly good friends. this was actually something I highlighted in "the girl who died" which was the way everything with them was constantly framed around danger and high stakes and how that takes me out of understanding what draws Clara to travelling, and this is a little counterpoint to that

COMPANIONS MATTER: ehhhh not really from my memory. she's there.

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: the Doctor just fully runs around like a headless chicken in this one. no that's not fair, he solves most of the puzzle. crucially not the really important piece at the end though, but I'd assume that happened offscreen, as the implications of that ending have never been brought up again on this show to my knowledge

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: couple of tiny references. actually it's more of a big send-up to league of gentlemen, considering Gatiss wrote it and Shearsmith plays the main bad guy

“SEXINESS”: again, cured!

INTERNAL WORLD: I think if this had had more world-building and less attempts at being a PG horror movie it might have been more horrifying actually, because the implications are already horrifying enough. but yeah, this, because of the characters, is quite a thinly built world, made all the more noticeable because the ideas within it are kind of compelling as heck and I do want to know more!

POLITICS: there's a couple of things in this, the first and more intentional of which is it brings up some good horrific capitalist world-building, and I wiiish whatever the story was was actually more about that. I mean, actually there's a really good TV concept on its own in it, that this episode didn't have the time or focus or ability to tell, because it's Doctor Who, we're not spending a season dwelling on the implications of functionally removing sleep from people, but ooooh I'd be interested in a story that did!

the other thing is that this has the somewhat dubious honour of featuring the first ever out trans actor in a lead role, played by Bethany Black, and... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I mean. I mean. she's a vat-grown grunt referred to with "it" pronouns (and not, I get the sense, because of personal choice, if personal choice came into this in the first place), who "cannot speak properly" because these "grunts" are frequently not... bred well enough? there's a loooot of episodes on Doctor Who that are about personhood and respecting that, and this... is not one of those episodes. 474 is never a focus of the Doctor in this episode, and in fact relatively early on both (she?) and this cis guy who frequently insults her the most (whom she is in love with???) are separated from the others. she then sacrifices herself for this guy, but it doesn't really matter because he's killed anyway shortly afterwards

it's just kinda messy and badly thought-out, but Bethany Black is great, and we know it's going to get better at some point. I want to make a point though as well that Bethany is fat and was in her 30s during this episode I think, and her character is presented in a relatively genderless way and smeared with camouflage paint or oil or smthin (and again, referred to with "it" pronouns), so I don't think a lot of people casually watching would have noticed that this character was a woman (if indeed, the episode understood that), in the sense that obviously trans people should get to play everyone and not "just" have to be prettified in order to be allowed onscreen, but it's a shame we couldn't see a fat trans woman being respected as a woman in this story, or youknow... get to assert her personhood, considering this is Doctor Who, and I hope that the wonderful onscreen transness we're getting will not be equated with thinness and youth exclusively in the future

but like, they could fully bring Bethany Black back as another character and I don't think people would recognise her as having been on the show before, so... do it cowards. you did it with fuckn Capaldi and Gillan and Cribbins and and and...

FULL RATING: 61/100 (if I can count….)

so I did actually check what the feedback to this episode was, and apparently at the time it was the lowest rated episode apart from Love & Monsters, which if anyone has been on this blog for a bit, you know I'm so into that episode. and I think that's worthy of a little comparison, because the thing about Love & Monsters is that while it is a bit gimmicky in format and to the left of a traditional episode, it does all of this in service to something. it's about specific people who exist in the sphere of the Doctor's influence, and that in turn explores a tertiary character (Jackie) who herself occupies a difficult space in this universe. it is, fundamentally, a very very human, softly tragic tale that builds up ideas that we'll return to many times over the course of the show

this episode does not have that. it's characters aren't very fleshed out, its world-building is shallow, and its purpose as the episode before a Very Important Episode seems to be to just. be there. and I think that's its fundamental weakness. if this were in another season, and given some tightening here and there to give it some kind of focus (my preference would be on giving some emotional insights on the Doctor and whoever the Companion is and/or making this very much about the single-episode characters For A Purpose, with the Doctor and Companion taking a backseat) I would have liked it better

as it is I don't dislike it, it's just oddly situated and relatively forgettable to me. Bethany Black should come back though

[children-of-the-sun-au]

Hey guys! New ask blog!

1000 years after the Journey, the Jade Emperor realizes how low the security is so tries to create an army that would combat any enemy, their first choice? Sun Wukong.

Sun Wukong created OffSprings by the gift of the Goddess Nuwa’s magic to create Heaven’s very own, Stone Monkey Army.

———————————————————————————-

Rules:

-No NSFW, Blog runner is a minor.

-No Homophobia

-No Toxicity, respect all ships

-No spam please

-No Anon Magic (Unless it’s to gift a character something)

-Have fun!

Additional Rules:

Address me as Sunny! You’ll know I’m talking if I speaking in this: ‘font’

Arc 1: Welcome! When MK gets arrested by the Celestial Realm things get a turn for him and he learns things about his mentor he thought never existed.

Arc 2: after they are invited to a party by Tang’s obnoxious parents. Shenanigans ensue when the Celestial Realm’s own party gets crashed

Arc 3: Surprise surprise! A two-parter arc, MK and Zammy’s birthdays are coming whoo-hoo! But what’s this? Something lurking in the corner? Well strap on folks cause this one might be a doozy!

Arc 4: Part two of Arc 3! Shi Ku strikes at the heart of the Celestial Realm endangering it at last! But what’s this? A secret revealed from the Zodiac himself?!

Arc 5: A trial is held for the Zodiac Monkey’s fate and the fate of his child…but when biases and corruption play a role in the fates, will there be true justice to this all?

Arc 6: MK and Zammy end up in a bit of a scuttle with the Zodiacs. However this lands them in the Monkey District where MK learns a bit of information of his mother and father.

Arc 7: MK begins training with Chikao and a family bonding is in session

Arc 8: Years have passed and MK has mastered his training, however, it seems as if he’s caught himself in a middle of a warzone

Arc 9: The battlefield has shook, Destiny will finally be destroyed…right?

Arc 10: All out war is coming for the Monkey King’s Children against the Celestial Realm. As the balance gets shaken even further, how will fate once more be saved?

Arc 11: Mysterious forces are at play…luckily, we’re trying not to traumatize Wukong even more!…right?

Arc 12: Zammy and Rin try to find a way to have separate souls…meanwhile Erlang gets a coronation…temporarily…no seriously the Jade Emperor hates him

Arc 13: The New Jade Emperor gets corrupted by the power and thus does an Adam against the Stone Monkey Army…battle ensues as a Constellation has fallen.

Arc 14: Shenanigans ensue when the fallen has arisen and some more love drama

Arc 15: Being the Jade Emperor is tough man…

Arc 16: A deal gone wrong, when Dragon defects and tries to defy chaos.

Arc 17: Let’s get into the season of LOVE with some Valentine’s Specials.

Arc 18: Let’s continue the Season of Love with a crazy er…can we even call her an ex?

—————————————

!REBOOTED!

Arc 1: MK gets arrested by Jidu for Season 2 and afterwards accidentally breaks a rule against his Constellation.

Arc 2: Azure escapes, a secret is revealed and ooh, more Wukong lore.

Arc 3: Rin and Zammy go to trial. Ling becomes MK’s constellation and we get a slight preview of the Zodiac Monkey’s past…also Wukong and Rin might have a baby

Arc 4: After the trial Wukong and Rin settle down. However, MK gets captured because of a stunning surprise from Wukong’s other family.

Arc 5: It’s Con Swap Day! And okay Li Jing is being a jerk nevermind

Arc 6: MK finds out there’s more to himself than he seems when Zammy reveals a secret…also Pigsy tries to flirt with Rin despite Tang’s annoyance.

Arc 7: Zodiac Monkey’s secret is revealed and we get Zammy backstory.

Arc 8: The Trial has commenced however. It seems like Zodiac Monkey has something up his sleeve

Arc 9: Seems like things are getting a little…tense…the New Jade Emperor seems to have gotten himself an army

Arc 10: Azure is defeated…and Zammy gets a funeral.

!Spoilers for Season 5 in the Next Arc!

Arc 11: Dang a long arc…welp basically…it’s Season 5…but with a lot of twists.

Arc 12: Short World MK Arc except MK accidentally breaks the fourth wall…

Arc 13: Multiversal war arises…looks like MK’s in for a real treat.

[helloalycia]

my happy ending [one] // kara danvers

summary: your crush from work decides to make a move, but she keeps putting off telling you something that you don't realise is actually really important

warning/s: none

author's note: i'm still working on a bunch of stuff but here's some old stuff to tide you over as i do. this is part one to a two-parter! enjoy :)

part two | masterlist

I sketched out some designs at my desk, ideas for some new Instagram and Twitter marketing CatCo we were planning to do. I was in charge of social media marketing at CatCo Worldwide, so things like this were routine at work. What wasn't routine was the cute blonde, Kara, AKA Cat Grant's assistant, approaching my desk with a chirpy smile on her lips.

"Hey, Y/N," she greeted, before setting down a coffee cup in front of me.

I smiled automatically, Kara's presence instantly affecting my mood in a positive way. I glanced at the cup and quirked an eyebrow.

"Hey, Kara. Is this for me?"

She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose adorably. "I was picking up Miss Grant's order and I remembered you said you loved the chocolate orange hot chocolates Noonan's do. So, I got you one."

I felt my cheeks heat up. "Oh, wow, er, thank you. You didn't have to do that."

She shrugged, and I was sure she looked as flustered as I felt. "No biggie."

I took a sip of the hot chocolate and smiled at how good it was, but mostly because of who got it me.

"So, what are you doing?" she asked, walking around my desk and sitting at the edge. She glanced at my sketches and added, "Is that the new fashion post for our social media accounts? They look amazing!"

"Just some sketches, but eventually they will be," I said, before nodding. "And thanks. I just need the photos so I know what I'm working with. Gotta ask the new guy, James... you met him yet?"

Kara nodded. "Yeah, I just bumped into him earlier."

"Can you believe he knows Superman?" I asked with disbelief. "How awesome is that?"

She smiled with amusement. "Extremely awesome."

"Keira!"

Kara lost her smile when Miss Grant called for her, before looking to me apologetically. "I should–"

"It's cool," I said, nodding for her to leave before Miss Grant tracked her down. "Thanks again for the drink."

Kara flashed me a smile. "Anytime. See you later."

I watched her walk away, waving as she glanced over her shoulder. I found myself biting my lip to contain my own smile, feeling butterflies in my stomach.

Kara Danvers, assistant to Cat Grant.

Ever since she began working here, I found myself crushing on the blonde and her cute mannerisms. We were friends, occasionally hanging out outside of work and doing things together. But that's all it was, sadly. I knew she was friends with Winn – best friends, I think – and I also knew that the tech guy was practically in love with her. I didn't know him as well as I knew her, but I knew enough to not want to get in between the two of them. So, Kara Danvers remained a silly little crush.

I got back to my sketches, managing to draft up some mock-ups on Photoshop before my day ended. I was more tired than I thought that evening, ending up falling asleep earlier than usual. Which meant that I missed the biggest news in National City yet – a mystery woman saving a plane from crashing, possibly a new superhero.

I woke up the next morning to a million and one calls and texts from colleagues at CatCo, all expecting me to get on social media to post about this mystery woman. By the time I got to work that morning, I was caught up with everything and in awe at this new superhero we had. It was pretty darn awesome!

The amazement I felt however was short lived, as Cat was all over me when I got to the office, claiming I should have been on top of our social media coverage as soon as it happened. Apparently me falling asleep wasn't a valid enough point to miss it, so I was put to work instantly, working with the photography and marketing department to find some sort of coverage on this mystery hero.

As I was lining up some posts with the limited images available of this hero, I felt a presence stop by my desk and saw it was Kara.

"Morning," she greeted, before glancing at my computer. "Oh, so you heard?"

I chuckled. "Kind of hard not to. It's everywhere." I nodded to the many TVs around the office that were playing reruns of the news coverage from last night.

"Pretty cool, right?" she asked, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Very, but it also means I now have a lot of work to do, especially because I fell asleep when all of this went down," I said, jokingly. "Cat has been all over me about this all morning."

Kara laughed and it was literally the best thing I'd heard all day.

"So, I was actually hoping I could tell you something," she said, an excited smile on her face as she met my eyes.

I felt a little flustered under her gaze and found myself distracting myself with my computer screen momentarily.

"I actually have a lot of things to do right now,” I said regretfully. “Maybe later?”

Her smile faded as she nodded. "Right, no, yeah, that's totally fine. Sorry."

"No, no, don't apologise," I said instantly, feeling a little bad. "I just– if I don't get this done, Cat will kill me."

"I got it, you do this, it's cool," she said reassuringly, offering me a small smile.

"Sorry," I tried, a little sad that there was nothing I could do. I really needed to get this done, despite wanting to spend some more time with Kara.

"It's fine, good luck," she said, giving me a grin and thumbs up before leaving.

I sighed, before getting back to work. Unfortunately, it was a few hours before I could get away from my desk, and I managed to track down Kara at her own desk, remembering she wanted to tell me something.

"Hey," I said, earning her attention.

She looked up from her notebook, smiling when she saw me. "Hey, you manage to get that content done?"

"Just about," I said, before offering a small smile. "Sorry again for blowing you off."

She waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine, honestly."

"I'm free now though," I said optimistically. "Maybe we could grab an early lunch? You can talk to me then?"

Kara pushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she nodded slowly. "That sounds nice actually, yeah."

I felt a little relieved when she agreed. "Great. Well, I'll let you get your things and meet you by the elevator?"

She pursed her lips, suppressing a smile. "You got it."

We ended up getting lunch, as agreed, and it was nice to make it up to her. Though, I never really noticed that she never ended up telling me whatever it was that she wanted to tell me. I was so distracted by how smoothly our lunch was going that I forgot to ask her about it. Maybe if I'd asked, she might have told me the truth. Or she might have made something up and lied. I guess I would never know.

–

Did somebody say tiny umbrella drinks? #gottalovethetinyumbrellas #CatCoFoundation [image here]

I sent yet another tweet and picture out from CatCo's Twitter account, watching as it instantly got responses from everyone. I was at an event that Cat was throwing for all CatCo employees plus special guests. It was an event to raise money for Cat's foundation – a charity for children's hospitals in National City. My job was to live-tweet the heck out of the event, hoping to boost donations online.

It was a formal event, so I was comfortably dressed in some high-waisted pants and a silk blouse, it being my best attempt at 'formal' clothes.

The event wasn't too bad. There was free food and drinks, plus I got to hang out with some of my friends from work whilst doing the bare minimum. I just wasn't an evening person, I guess.

"Hey, stranger," a voice startled me, and I turned around, surprised to see Kara Danvers stood there.

I hadn't seen much of Kara in the past few months, despite working with her. She always seemed to be caught up with Winn, and she'd gotten quite close with the not-so-new guy, James Olsen. I wasn't stalking her or anything, but I began to notice when I would try to make plans with her like we used to – little things like grabbing coffee or going to watch a film after work – and she would decline or have plans already. Then I'd see her constantly being surrounded by Winn and James, so I figured she'd just made new friends.

"Kara," I breathed out, smiling as I took in her appearance. "Hey."

I hadn't seen her at all this evening and I was sure she just showed up because I definitely would have noticed how good she looked in that fitted red dress of hers.

"You look really nice," she said, looking me up and down before meeting my eyes.

"Thanks," I said, hoping my cheeks didn't look as warm as they felt. "So do you. You liking the event?"

Kara looked around, nodding. "It's beautiful."

"You did a good job," I said, giving her a knowing smile. "I know you planned it."

"This was all Cat, I just–"

"Kara, everybody knows you plan the events around here," I told her with a chuckle. "It's okay."

She smiled to herself, looking down. "Right." It went quiet for a moment before she looked up and said, "Do you want to dance?"

I was a little taken aback by her confidence, but nonetheless, I found myself nodding. She smiled as she held out her hand. I took it, feeling goosebumps from how soft her hands were.

She led me to the dance-floor, stopping and resting a hand on my waist, the other holding my hand. I nervously rested an arm on her shoulder as I focused on swaying to the music playing rather than stepping on her toes.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in a while," she said after a moment. I looked up and saw her blue eyes staring right through me.

"Well, we've both been busy," I attempted to give a reason.

She shook her head, smiling apologetically. "No, it's not that... it's my fault. I've been hanging out with James and Winn so much lately that I've been neglecting you."

I laughed a little awkwardly. "Kara, it's okay. You don't need to feel bad for having other friends. I mean, you don't have any obligations to me. They're your best friends. Of course you're gonna hang out with them."

She pursed her lips and I admittedly felt nervous as she stared at me, her expression unreadable. She was a little taller than me which didn't help with me trying to keep my emotions in check. She was extremely close to me as we swayed to the music and I could just about focus on it as she continued to stare at me.

"What if I want to have obligations to you?" she asked, and I almost thought she was joking until I realised that she wasn't.

I wanted to understand what she meant, but I didn't get to ask because she leaned forward and closed the gap between us with her lips. I was surprised at her boldness, pinning Kara for the shy type. Nonetheless, I returned the kiss, melting into her embrace and warmth.

We pulled apart soon enough, myself a little flustered from the kiss. My lips were still tingling as she met my eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"I hope that was okay," she muttered.

I nodded slowly, still surprised. "Yeah, it was."

My stomach was doing somersaults as I mirrored her smile; the gala was merely a blur in the background as I realised Kara Danvers had just kissed me. I definitely wouldn't have thought she felt something for me other than friendship.

"I'm assuming you want this to go somewhere," I said, a little stupidly.

She laughed melodiously as she nodded, intertwining her fingers in mine. "That's the plan, yes. But actually, er..."

"Second thoughts already?" I joked, though inside I was genuinely believing she might be second-guessing her decision, judging from her sudden change of facial expression.

"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "It's just, I feel like we should talk first. I have to tell you something. Before this goes any further."

She sounded quite affected by whatever it was, so I nodded, losing my smile for a moment.

"Of course, you can tell me whatever you need to," I reassured her, giving her hand a little squeeze. "Do you want to talk now or after?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but tilted her head to the side as she grew distracted. I waited patiently, expecting her to snap back into reality, but she seemed caught up with something else.

"Kara? You okay?" I asked, growing a little concerned.

"What? Yeah, sorry," she said, shaking her head before meeting my eyes with apologetic ones. "I'm sorry, I have to go for a minute. I just realised I have to check on the desserts for the party."

"Oh, okay." I nodded, giving her a small smile. "You can tell me whatever it is afterwards then?"

She smiled, nodding. "Yeah. I'll be back after, I swear."

I believed her and watched as she let go of my hand, already in a rush to leave. I wondered what was so time-sensitive about desserts, but decided not to question it as I realised the very obvious and surprising fact that Kara liked me.

As she turned to leave, she quickly turned back to me and moved forward, pressing a haste kiss to my cheek. My face heated up as she flashed me a beautiful smile, before moving to leave.

Just danced with the most beautiful girl in the room #CatCoFoundation

I looked up and saw Kara by the door, about to leave, but she stopped when her phone vibrated. After glancing at the screen, she paused and a wide smile graced her lips. Her eyes lifted and she gave me a knowing look before disappearing. I found myself smiling like an idiot the rest of the night.

I guess I should have realised, once again, that Kara never ended up telling me whatever it was that she wanted to tell me. I was so caught up in the fact that she returned my feelings that I never remembered to ask her what it was that she wanted to say. Maybe if I'd remembered, things would have ended up a little differently.

–

Kara and I went on some dates, our relationship blossoming naturally. It was the best thing to happen to me at the time – finding someone who I thought truly understood me, and vice versa. We had inside jokes, an 'our song', a favourite restaurant we frequented; we were happy and it was amazing. I was really falling for her. I thought she was perfect. Nothing could change that, I thought. She was everything I wanted.

"What are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?" Kara asked, tilting her head to look at me.

It was moments like this when I was in awe of her beauty, inside and out. She was comfortable, with her hair tied in a loose ponytail and her face makeup-free. Her glasses were balanced on her nose as she stared at me with an easygoing smile and sparkling eyes. I felt a sudden overwhelming flood of love for her as she waited for me to reply.

"I'm in love with you," I blurted out uncontrollably.

She raised her eyebrows slightly, mouth agape as she realised what I said.

"I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head. "That was random. And weird. Too soon, right? I freaked you out. I'm sorry."

Kara blinked several times, straightening up as she shook her head. "No, it's not, it's..." I watched her with anticipation, as she found her words. "It's fine. It's... I feel the same way."

It was my turn to be surprised now. I raised my eyebrows, a smile forming on my lips. "You do?"

Kara pursed her lips, eyes flickering up to meet mine. "Yeah."

I breathed out. "I'm really happy to hear that, especially because I thought I freaked you out, but like, I feel like something is bothering you, Kara."

Resting a hand on hers, I squeezed it gently. She offered me a small, troubled smile and I wondered what was occupying her thoughts.

"I trust you," she said gently. "I do. I love you. And I... I want you to know that I think what we have is amazing. I've never been happier."

"This sounds like a breakup," I joked, chuckling nervously. She wouldn't break up with me right after saying 'I love you', right?

"No, no, it's not!" she reassured immediately, taking any doubt from my mind. She leaned forward and cupped my cheek gently. "I'm not breaking up with you, silly."

"Good to know," I said playfully, resting my hand on hers and moving it to my lips, kissing it softly. "What is it though? What's on your mind? You can tell me anything you know."

She nodded. "I know... I can. I will. Now."

I stayed quiet, watching as she had some inner conflict going on. What was bothering her so much?

"I want to say that I–"

But she was cut off by her phone ringing. She rolled her eyes and I offered her an approving smile as she reached to answer it.

"Alex, hey, what's up?"

I sat back, keeping ahold of Kara's hand as she listened to Alex on the phone.

"Are you sure?" Kara said, concern in her voice.

I wondered what was going on, as the blonde was scrunching her brows together with worry. Her hand slipped from mine as she stood up, pacing.

"Okay, I'll be there now," she finished, before hanging up.

"Hey, that sounded serious, is everything okay?" I asked, standing up, too.

Kara nodded, already in the process of grabbing her things. "Yeah, sorry, it's just some family stuff with Alex. I should get going and help her out." She stopped moving and turned to face me, a distracted frown on her face. "I'm sorry. I know we were supposed to spend the evening together and I wanted to tell you something, but–"

"It's fine, Kara, you can just tell me another time," I cut her off, moving forward and rubbing her arm gently. "I hope everything is okay with Alex. I'll just see you at work tomorrow, yeah?"

Kara smiled tightly, nodding. "You're too understanding. It's annoyingly admirable."

I chuckled, stepping forward and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. She had a few inches on me, so I had to step on my tip toes to reach, but seeing the little smile appear on her lips when I did made it worth it.

"Don't get stressed about whatever it is you wanna tell me," I added, meeting her eyes. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I love you and I'm really lucky to have you in my life. I don't think anything will ruin that. Just... remember that, okay?"

Kara nodded, her eyes flickering to the floor. "Thank you, Y/N."

"I'll leave you to it," I said, moving away to grab my coat and put on my shoes. "Good luck with whatever is up, and see you tomorrow."

As I was about to leave, her voice called out, "I love you, too."

I smiled widely at her before leaving, feeling lightweight because of all the love that was bubbling around inside of me. Once again, Kara managed to distract me from the fact that she had something big to tell me, as when I followed up the next day, she assured me that she just wanted me to know that she sometimes moved too fast in relationships and she didn't want me to feel like I was being rushed.

I believed her, blinded by what I thought was my happy ending, and that was that.

[trainsinanime]

Season 4, Kwamis and Trust

Let’s do like the show does and put Chat Noir aside for a second. With that I think the themes of season 4 so far (after Optigami was released) are very clear: It’s about Marinette growing up into her own version of the guardian, expanding on her leader role, and the bigger message of how trust isn’t easy but ultimately worth it. And this is expressed most directly through the Kwamis.

With the Kwamis, Marinette goes against established precedent both in terms of the lore, and in terms of what the show has shown us before. Established precedent is that Kwamis can’t be let out, and they can’t use powers on their own. They can’t be trusted with the responsibility. Master Fu said (or implied) so, Su Han said so, even the Kwamis say so. And Marinette kind of ignores all of them. Marinette lets the Kwamis out (to their delight), and she lets them use their powers without a holder. She’s a bit hesitant about it, but by Optigami, it’s a well established part of her strategic toolkit. She even gave them their own phone. Now we don’t have time to unpack whether she bought it or stole it from somewhere, but that shows she is placing a lot of trust in them.

Of course, when the Kwamis do stuff on their own, accidents happen every single time. The Eiffel tower gets destroyed, or displaced, or bouncy, or… honestly I want to see what Pollen, Mullo or Wayzz would do with it. So far these things haven’t had an impact on the actual plot of any episode, but Marinette makes it clear that she considers it a problem. So the show is not at all saying that placing this trust is completely without issues.

On the other hand, it works to Marinette’s advantage. That’s why she’s allowed herself to rely on the Kwamis to begin with, and in many episodes, she wouldn’t have had any other solution. The trust pays off; it is worth the (very real) cost.

This directly mirrors what Marinette is doing with Alya. She trusted her, and it has caused problems - as of Optigami, potentially a lot of problems. But it has also given her new freedoms and new abilities, like the anti-akuma charms. Trust, teamwork and breaking rules has made Marinette stronger, but it hasn’t been easy.

In both cases, the trust has been earned in some part through intentions and long-running relationships rather than individual actions. Marinette trusts the Kwamis because she knows they mean well, even though she is completely aware that they are not good at controlling their powers and avoiding disasters. In Gang of Secrets, Marinette trusted Lady Wifi not because she was acting trustworthy at that point, but because she has known Alya for a long time. That trust paid off, and paved the way for the Alyanette reveal. And when she gave her the miraculous permanently, it was again based on Alya’s overall performance, while being fully aware that Alya sometimes makes mistakes - just like the Kwamis, or Marinette herself for that matter.

This is a general thing with Miraculous Ladybug: The show acknowledges mistakes, but in the long term, it judges people on intentions more than actions. When Marinette causes the circumstances that lead to an akumatisation (as always, I want to stress that only Hawkmoth actually causes akumas), her failure is rarely one of intention; she generally means well. Her mistakes tends to be about execution, or not having thought enough about how her actions may affect someone. Exceptions apply, of course, especially when Adrien is involved, but they are just that: Exceptions. Usually she wants to help someone and does a not-quite-perfect job of it, and usually, she reaches her goal in the end, because her original intention was absolutely solid. Now, in season 4, Marinette is extending that same set of values to the Kwamis and Alya.

We have also seen the counterpoint to this theme of trust in the first few episodes: In Truth and Gang of Secrets, Marinette thought she couldn’t trust anyone; not Luka, not Alya, not Chat Noir and not even really the Kwamis. She was more busy trying to wrangle them than treating them as partners. All of that made her and the people around her miserable. It led to a break-up and made things much easier for Shadow Moth. By learning to trust people, even if it is against the rules, she was able to turn this around.

Let’s bring this back to our favourite kitty. Right now you will find a lot, and I mean a lot of meta that talks about how Marinette is leaving Chat Noir by the wayside, and how that means he’ll be very sad and this will lead to a big conflict later. And that may indeed be true. But I don’t think it’s what the season will be about (meaning I think this conflict will at most be a two-parter). If we take the show at face value, what we’ve seen about the season so far has been Marinette learning that trusting people is risky but worth it, and that rules to the contrary may need to be rethought.

The big payoff for this character arc of hers of this could be her just asking people for their phone when she needs it.

That, or the more exciting possibility: How about breaking the oldest rule, and trusting her closest and yet most distant friend completely? It’s risky but worth it. Is this season really headed for a reveal? I have no idea, but it seems like a logical progression for what Marinette is currently going through. Maybe with a bit of conflict on the way, sure, but that conflict isn’t the point. The trust is.

As for Chat Noir being sidelined? Honestly, parts of that may just be a time issue. Optigami was a busy episode with a lot of plot points, and it focused heavily on developing Marinette first, and Alya second. Something has to give, I guess. I think the episode did more hinting at a Djwifi crisis (which could be a blueprint for Ladynoir, by the way) than anything else. The show generally isn’t that subtle, and if this was supposed to be a setup for a huge Ladynoir conflict or Chat Noir depression spiral, then it was an incredibly weak one.

I know this goes against the grain of everything the fandom (including me) has been saying up to this point, yes. But also consider that we don’t know how Chat Noir-centric the unreleased episodes will be. I’m still guessing Marinette will be the more important character throughout the season, because that is how the show has literally always worked. But this is the first season where we got an episode that was focused strictly on Adrien, with Lies. And with episodes like „Gabriel Agreste“ coming up or Nino’s remarks in Guiltrip, I think that probably wasn’t the last Adrien-centric episode yet either. He’s got some stuff to figure out for himself as well before a reveal, or for that matter a big Ladynoir fight, would really make much sense.

At some point, I think it’s more interesting to look at the show that’s actually there instead of the show that isn’t, which is right now the Chat Noir focused one. We don’t actually know enough to do more than guess there, while the main story keeps on telling us how Marinette grows into her role as not just fighter but team leader, and what values she develops throughout that. The Kwamis are a crucial part of that process.

(This is mostly an expanded version of what I wrote yesterday.)

[holidaywishes]

then we‘ll start our life together

  Requested: 👍

  Summary/Request: Freddie starts to spend time with Jackson and keeps pressing to tell him the truth; the secret finally comes out to Fred’s parents; (Y/N) has to make a choice.

  Warning: fluff, maybe a tiny bit of angst but I wouldn’t count on it

  Author’s Note: Can I first say how much I love this GIF? He looks so fucking good, I can’t stand it. He’s smiling, he’s got scruff, the maroon/burgundy hat looks A-MA-ZING on him 🤤 Anyway, moving on. This is the last part of the request that @kayleafs221​​ sent me a while back that started as just a two-parter. We worked on part three together and I think it turned out really well but they really wanted the reader and Freddie together -- they just didn’t know how to write it. Enter: me! As much as I love writing angst, and as well as I think I can write it, I’m a hopeless romantic at heart so a happy ending is always in sight when I’m writing. It’s sort of a long chapter because of everything that needed to be fit in for it to be a happy ending without just... cutting to the happy ending. I hope you enjoy it! Stay Golden, my loves! <3!

  P.S. I'm sorry this took SO long to get out. I started writing it a bunch of times and then things happened around the house that took and held my attention. BUT I'M HERE NOW! It's snowing today when it was +20 yesterday and I've got a bunch of goodies to keep me focused on sitting down and writing. It's like being back in University writing my god damn thesis again 😂😂 ENJOY! By the way, this is the dress I was trying to describe, hopefully it came through!

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

Freddie’s P.O.V

  When you found out Jackson was yours, you felt a lot of things. You were mad that you didn’t get to have those first six years, frustrated that (Y/N) didn’t reach out to you to at least tell you that he was yours, but you were also happy that you were able to see him grow up now. When she asked you if you wanted to finally meet Jackson, you nearly screamed over the phone; like a fangirl

  “Relax!” she laughed, “you can’t say anything. I just told him a friend of mine was in town and we were going to meet him for lunch. He doesn’t know anything okay? And you can’t let on about.. anything”

  “I know. I promise I won’t”

  “Oh another thing,” she added, “wear a hat”

  “A hat?” you scoffed

  “He’s a smart kid and if he sees that you’ve got red hair, he’ll figure it out”

  “Fine, I’ll wear a hat” you teased

  “Thank you.” You were sure that you’d be able to keep yourself together but you had downed two glasses of water before (Y/N) and Jackson even got to the restaurant. When the hostess brought them to the table, your eyes went wide when you saw the little strawberry blonde boy clutching the hand of his mother; a perfect mix of you and her

  “Hey,” (Y/N) greeted with a smile, “Jackson, this is Freddie. Freddie, this is Jackson, my son”

  “Hi Jackson” you smiled, standing up excitedly earning a glare from (Y/N) as the little boy hid behind her legs

  “Sweetheart, can you say hi to Freddie?” she asked

  “Hello” he whispered

  “It’s nice to meet you, little man”

  “Let’s sit down, huh?” (Y/N) smirked, directly Jackson and you back to the chairs, “who’s hungry?”

  “Me!” Jackson exclaimed, earning a laugh from you before you all scanned the menu. You could feel (Y/N) watching the two of you as Jackson started talking about his sports teams, going from Soccer to Baseball to Basketball in one breath, his excitement palpable

  “Have you ever wanted to try Hockey?” you asked

  “I don’t know how to skate” he mumbled

  “We live in California,” (Y/N) scoffed, “there’s not a lot of ice there”

  “There are always rinks” you added, catching her angry glare that you knew meant you were getting dangerously close to exposing the secret she’d tried so hard to keep. “I can always help you learn...”

  “No way! Really?!” he exclaimed, leading your eyes to catch (Y/N) biting her lip insecurely

  “Only if your mom is okay with it. And if it’s something you really want”

  “Mommy, please!” he begged, “it’s the only one I haven’t tried! I wanna try! He can help me, mama!”

  “How about we eat first and then we can figure all that stuff out later?” she laughed and Jackson nodded happily, sitting back in his seat. It wasn't long into the meal that Jackson continued to beg to learn how to skate with you and you could feel (Y/N) become more agitated with you

  "Hey, Jackson," you interrupted his excitement, "what's your favourite snack?"

  "Mmm..." he hummed as he contemplated his answer, "black licorice!" (Y/N) scoffed and shook her head before peeking up at you

  "I don't get it," she replied, "no one actually likes black licorice unless they're like a.. grandma or something"

  "I love black licorice!" you exclaimed

  "You do?!" Jackson asked and you nodded. "SEE MOM! I TOLD YOU I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE!"

  "I know you did, baby" she sighed before Jackson excused himself to go to the bathroom

  "He's so cute" you began to coo

  "You're the only other person I know who actually likes black licorice"

  "Should I not have said that?" you winced

  "I don't know... he could think it's just a miraculous coincidence"

  "Look," you smiled, "it's a Danish thing. We all eat black licorice like it's chocolate. Should we tell him that?"

  "I--" she started, stopping only when he came back, "Hey sweetie! everything go okay?"

  "Yeah, mom.." he sneered

  "One of these days I'm not gonna ask and you're gonna miss it" she joked

  "Yeah right," he scoffed. When you finished the meal, Jackson told you that they were heading downtown to go to the CN Tower before you left, "wanna come?"

  "I don't know... what does your mom think?" you smiled and turned your gaze to (Y/N)

  "Mom thinks it's fine"

  "AND THEN WE CAN GO SKATING!"

  "Jackson..." she sighed, shaking her head while the three of you walked through the streets and made your way downtown to the city’s major tourist attraction. The ride up to the top, to the observation deck, was silent as Jackson got as close to the window as he could to look out at the city, letting you and (Y/N) linger near each other with each passing second. "He likes you" she whispered

  "He's a great kid" you whispered back and she smiled

  "He really is"

  "MOM LOOK!" Jackson pointed out to the city and she walked to him, kneeling down behind him so he could show her what he was seeing. You so wanted to be part of it but you knew you had to wait for her to say that it was time; she looked back at you with a soft smile before dropping her head against her sons shoulder.

xx

  When you and Jackson got back to California, he had so many questions about Freddie

  “Why did we hang out with him all weekend?”

  “Did you date?”

  “Why is he so tall?”

  “Is he gonna teach me how to skate?”

  “When are we gonna see him again?”

  You had to take a deep breath to try to answer his questions, telling him that you two dated a long time ago, that you lost touch and that you might never see him again but that seeing him now was enough.

  “But is he gonna teach me how to skate?” he asked again and you chuckled

  “I can teach you how to skate...” you lied

  “He said he wanted to though!”

  “Jackson.. baby, we’re not close to him. Physically. We can find someone to teach yo—”

  “I WANT HIM TO TEACH ME!” he whined, forcing you to furrow your brow at him

  “Jackson!” you tried to sound stern but your surprise kept creeping in

  “I DON’T KNOW WHY HE CAN’T TEACH ME!!! I WANT HIM TO TEACH ME HOW TO SKATE!”

  “JACKSON CALEB (Y/L/N)!” you yelled, “DO NOT YELL AT ME!”

  “I WANT—”

  “ENOUGH!” you shouted, “you cannot whine and yell and throw a temper tantrum and expect to get what you want. If you really want to learn how to skate, we can find someone but do not try to force me to do exactly what you want” you watched the corners of his mouth shift into a frown before his eyes brimmed with tears. “Baby, I’m sorry. I love that you want him to teach you but he’s so busy and he’s so far away, we can’t do it as easily as you think...”

  “Can’t he come here?” he asked softly

  “Sure he can,” you added, lifting him up onto the couch so you could kneel in front of him, “but it won’t be every day. It would only be when he’s here for work and that means he might not have a lot of spare time...”

  “But if we take lessons here then he’ll be able to see my progress!”

  “Absolutely kiddo!”

  “AWESOME!” he exclaimed, jumping off the couch and running to his room. You were left a bit in shock at the conversation but you could feel the need for Jackson to have a father figure creeping closer and closer. When your phone rang, you slumped onto the couch and answered it

  “Hello” you sighed

  “(Y/N)!! Oh my god!” Amalie greeted happily from the other line

  “Amalie? Hi... what’s going on?”

  “I saw the pictures of your little boy! He looks so much like Freddie. How come you didn’t tell us?!”

  “Hold on... slow down, what are you talking about?”

  “Fred called mom and told her the good news. We’re so excited to have another Andersen!”

  “He told you? About Jackson?”

  “Jackson, oh I love that name!” she cooed

  “I’m sorry, what exactly did he say?” you asked, curious how much Freddie actually said

  “He just called mom gushing about how he spent the whole weekend with his son. When mom stopped screaming with excitement, he said that Jackson,” she giggled as she said his name, “is great at sports but he doesn’t know how to skate yet, which my dad was shocked about” she laughed. “Mom had him on speaker obviously, so we all heard as he was talking to her. He was so excited to tell us about him. But, (Y/N)... why did you keep him from us?”

  “What?”

  “Look, no one else seemed to catch on that he was your son and that you and Fred haven’t seen each other in 6 years? But I did and I don’t get it...”

  “Freddie got traded and he had to hop on a plane and forget everything in California. I didn’t find out I was pregnant for another two months after he left so it wasn’t like I intended to... I thought about reaching out to him so many times but his life was so public and I couldn’t imagine putting my son through all of that without a choice”

  “But he’s Freddie’s son too” she countered and you could only shake your head to yourself. You were tired of explaining this to everyone

  “I know but I needed to protect Jackson above everything. Look, Fred and I discussed all this and we’ve agreed to let him get to know Jackson slowly”

  “And he’s okay with that?” you scoffed

  “He’s a little hesitant, sure, but he agrees that this is what’s best”

  “I just don’t want my big brother to get... cheated out of more time with his son”

  “He won’t”

  “I don’t want him getting hurt”

  “Amalie, I appreciate all of this. Honest, I do, but my job is to protect my son and sometimes that means keeping secrets from people...”

  “I don’t know, that doesn’t seem right”

  “I,” you started, calming your tone as you were starting to get agitated, “I have to go, Amalie. Tell everyone I say hi and I’m sure I’ll be talking with you all soon”

  “Bye!” You were almost fuming at the thought that Freddie went behind your back and told his family about your son

  “Hello” Freddie greeted from the other line

  “WHAT THE HELL FREDDIE?!” you shouted

  “(Y/N), what’s wrong?” he replied, playing dumb

  “You told your family???? I thought we discussed this, Freddie!”

  “I told my — I was excited. It slipped, I’m sorry” you dropped your head to your free hand and shook your head

  "I don't even know what to say right now..."

  "I promise Jackson won't know anything until you're ready"

  "Glad to hear it," you scoffed, "look, just run some of these things by me first. I'm not a huge fan of surprises, I'd like to be prepared if I have to defend myself okay?"

  "I get it, I'm sorry. It won't happen again"

  "Thank you" you smiled to yourself before dropping the topic. His voice calmed you down enough for you to take a deep breath and he spent the next 20 minutes telling you how much fun he had with you and Jackson and how he missed you already; you laughed and told him how much Jackson was pestering you about learning to skate

  "I'm sorry" Freddie said

  "No no!" you smirked, "it's okay, he's so excited. It's adorable. He actually yelled at me when I told him you couldn't teach him"

  "Really?" he asked, a lightness in his tone that brought you back to how the two of you used to be

  "Yeah," you admitted, "he really likes you. I think it's actually gonna be really easy to tell him; honestly, I think he'll be happy about it"

  "I'm happy to hear that," he replied, "so when are we gonna tell him?"

  "Don't push your luck, Mr. Goaltender. It's still gonna take some time" you weren't sure how much time but you knew you weren't ready for the truth to come out yet, no matter how well they were getting along.

xx

Freddie's P.O.V

  After (Y/N) found out that you told your mom, who in turn alerted the entire family, that you had a son, you were sure she'd be too angry to let him spend any more time with you.

  "We finally found him a teacher," she said over the phone, informing you about Jackson's time on the ice, "he's a great guy. Really positive with Jackson, really encouraging. J seems like he's having a lot of fun -- he keeps saying he can't wait to go skating with you"

  "That's great!" you exclaimed, "when will you guys be in Toronto?"

  "We won't," she said simply

  "Oh... I don't understand?"

  "Fred, my job isn't like your job. I can't just fly off to Toronto with my son"

  "Even on the weekends?"

  "Yeah, even on the weekends" she scoffed

  "So, what then? How am I supposed to take him skating and see where he's at with everything? How am I supposed to get to know my son when I can't even see him?"

  "Come here," she blurted out, forcing you to keep silent and take a seat on your couch, "whenever your next game in California is, take some time and come see us. We can meet you somewhere, we'd make that work"

  "I don't think I'd have any free time..." you answered

  "Just tell us when you're in town and we'll make it work. Trust me, okay?" she said and you could hear her smile, "I have to go but I'll text you later"

  "Okay" you sighed as you hung up the phone. You thought about how exactly you could make this work, because you really wanted to make it work, but the schedule was packed; you couldn't see a time for you all to get together. You texted her when you were in L.A. and told her that you had some free time over the weekend if she was okay to meet you there and she was quick to agree. When the three of you finally met up, Jackson excitedly jumped onto the ice to show you his skills and you stood behind the glass with (Y/N) to watch him skate a little before either of you joined him. "Thank you for coming out here," you said and she nudged your shoulder before sitting down on the bench to put on her skates, "I'm serious. I know my schedule's always been a little crazy but I appreciate you at least giving me a chance"

  "You know I can't skate right?" she laughed and you realized that she was struggling to tighten her laces

  "Hold on, stop" you laughed, kneeling in front of her to help her

  "This is a disaster," she scoffed, "I probably should just let you guys skate without me"

  "No way that's happening," he smirked, "it's too late for that"

  "You sure no one is gonna find us here?"

  "I'm sure" you replied, looking up at her before clearing your throat and sitting back on the bench to put your skates on. Her arm grazed yours, eliciting a flush of heat from you

  "You have to tell him you're proud of him," she said, laying her head on your shoulder as she watched her son skate slowly across the ice and you looked at her. You kissed the top of her head and just sat there with her for a while

  "I will" you whispered finally, forcing her to take her head off your shoulder and her eyes met yours as she smiled

  "Good" she whispered, her eyes drifting down to your lips as if she was waiting for you to make a move

  "MOM! FREDDIE!" Jackson yelled, taking the two of you out of the moment you were having

  "And... saved by the kid" you joked, dropping your head, preparing yourself to get up but not before she laid a sweet kiss on your cheek.

xx

  “You know, my dad taught me and my brothers how to skate and how to play hockey,” Freddie explained to Jackson as he helped you up from where you fell, “it’s a family tradition”

  “It is?” Jackson’s little voice asked, leading you and Freddie to smile

  “It is!” he replied

  “So why are you teaching me? Where’s your family?” you dropped your head in defeat

  “Uh, well..” Freddie stammered, looking at you briefly before turning his attention back to the boy

  “Baby, why don’t you skate ahead. Fred’s just gonna keep me from falling but we’ll be right behind you” you said softly while you continued to grip onto Freddie’s arm so you didn’t fall

  “I think it’s time to tell him” he laughed

  “He’s gonna hate me” you admitted, revealing the reason you hadn’t wanted to tell him after all these years

  “He’s not gonna hate you. You’re his mom, he loves you” he scoffed, nudging you with his elbow and you had to clutch onto him so you didn’t fall

  “Freddie!” you exclaimed with a laugh, “ugh. I’m gonna die out here, I’m sure of it”

  “We don’t have to tell him here, we could go out for lunch or ice cream. Go to the malt shop at the beach, anything. I just think we should tell him”

  “What happens when we tell him? What if it never.. what if it just always sucks after that?”

  “I’ll be there with you. Every step of the way. I promise, I won’t leave again”

  “You can’t promise that. Your career pulls you everywhere...”

  “But I won’t ever leave you. You can come with me, I would love nothing more, actually” he stopped and turned to you, holding onto your arms. “Live with me, travel with me. Toronto isn’t by the Pacific Ocean and it’s not always sunny but it’s a great place to be”

  “I don’t know... we’d have to talk to his teachers and make sure we find a school, a good school, where he could start at the beginning. You know, not like in the middle of the year...”

  “We can make that happen” he tried

  “What about his friends?”

  “We’ll make sure they all keep in touch. (Y/N), I want this to work. I want to be part of his life and I’ve always wanted to be with you. You know that, right?” your eyes danced between his as you prepared to answer him before you were interrupted by Jackson calling you

  “We’re coming!” you called back and let Freddie pull you toward him, letting you go when Jackson fell onto his knees

  “Alright it’s okay buddy,” Freddie cooed as you slowly drifted toward them, “you hurt?”

  “No,” he said proudly, “but I fell...”

  “Yeah you did,” Freddie continued, “but that’s okay. Sometimes you fall but you got back up, that’s the important thing” you smiled as you heard the two boys talking, feeling a sudden rush of love you had long since forgotten. “Wanna take a break and get some food?”

  “YEAH!”

  “Mom?” Fred asked, outstretching his hand to you

  “I’ll do anything to get off this ice” you laughed. The three of you made your way to a retro-style Diner, complete with red vinyl booths, and waited to order some food; all the while, Jackson was glaring at Freddie, “Jackson!” you scolded, “it’s not polite to stare like that”

  “Why don’t you take your hat off? Is it like permently glued to your head?” he asked Freddie, tripping up on the word he’d heard you say on occasion, earning a scoff from you and a laugh from Freddie

  “No, it’s not glued to my head” Freddie replied

  “So you should take it off. Manners”

  “You’re right” he added with a smile

  “He’s right” you sighed, anticipating his reaction when he saw Freddie’s hair for the first time. As you expected, Jackson gasped when Freddie took off his hat, as if seeing another person with red hair was this miraculous thing — though you always thought there was more blonde than red to his shade.

  “Your hair is like mine” he smiled and all you could do was wait. How do I tell him? you thought to yourself, stealing glances from Freddie

  “You’ve got your moms hair”

  “She always said that my hair was hers and my dads put in a blender” he laughed

  “I did say that, didn’t I?” you chuckled

  “Mom, is Freddie my dad?” he asked, the words hanging in the air as you tried to catch your breath

  “Uhm,” you started, clearing your throat as you watched Jackson keep his head down and eyes on the table, “what makes you say that, sweetie?”

  “Is he?” he repeated

  "Well, buddy," Freddie started, looking at you before you nodded so he knew he could continue, "yeah. Yeah, I'm your dad..." You both waited for him to react but he just sat there in silence, still not raising his head to meet your eyes

  "Sweetheart?" you whispered, kneeling in front of him, "Jackson, can you look at me?"

  "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked quietly

  "She was just trying to protect you, Jackson" Freddie added, causing Jackson to quickly look up at him

  "You didn't know about me?" he asked again and you were finally able to see the tears roll down his sweet little cheeks

  "I--"

  "Why did you keep me from my daddy?!" Jackson yelled

  "Sweetheart, please, calm down" you tried but it was no use

  "NO!" he stepped back and kicking his chair in frustration, "everyone else gets a dad why not me?!"

  "Jackson!" Freddie tried when he noticed you had practically crumpled in your chair

  "NO!" Jackson repeated as he ran out of the diner

  "I'm so sorry everyone..." Freddie apologized to the group before you made your way outside

  "Jackson..." you whispered when you found him sitting on a bench a few feet from the diner

  "Go away" he cried

  "Baby, I know you're mad," you started, sitting down beside him before he moved away from you, "I loved Freddie, your dad, very much and he loved me the same. We met and, immediately, we clicked -- I always wanted to be around him, I missed him when he was gone and I didn't want him to ever leave when he got back. When he left, I was broken. Nothing really made sense anymore and I couldn't forgive him for leaving me like that. But then you came along and you became the most important thing in my life; you really changed everything" you smiled as he nestled into your side. "You deserve to have a dad, you deserve to know your dad, you're so much like him it's crazy" you chuckled before resting your cheek on Jackson's head. "Freddie's life is complicated. It's very busy but it's also very public; you don't have as much freedom to just... be a kid like you do with just me"

  "Is that why you didn't tell him?"

  "Sort of..." you replied, "I didn't think I'd ever see him again and my heart was so hurt but you are the most important thing in the world to me. I shouldn't have kept him a secret from you, I'm sorry"

  "So what now?" he asked

  "Well... I wanted to talk to you about something," you stammered, "Freddie and I have been getting close again, I still really love him. That kind of love is hard to forget, you’ll realize that one day, but he really wants to spend more time with you but his life is in Toronto..."

  "Yeah?" he said

  "Would you want to move there?" you asked, noticing him perk his head up

  "All of us would be together?" he asked

  "Yes and maybe you'll even get to meet Fred's family. Really get to learn the Andersen family traditions, the right way"

  "YES!" he exclaimed before hugging you tightly. "But mom?" he asked

  "Hmm?"

  "Can we call him dad?" you laughed at his question before nodding in response. You headed back inside to where Freddie was and Jackson jumped into the booth next to him

  "Whoa, hey there! So, I guess everything is okay now?" he laughed

  "We're gonna move to Toronto to live with you!"

  "You are?" he asked, looking at you for confirmation

  "Not right away," you corrected, "we have some stuff to sort out first but yes, eventually we'll be there with you. As a family" Freddie smiled in return at the idea of the three of you being a family

  “Perfect” he said and you couldn’t help yourself; that happy little grin on his face made it near impossible not to want to kiss him, so you leaned over your son and pressed your lips to his before your son tried to pushed the two of you apart

  “EW MOM, DAD, DON’T BE SO GROSS!” he whined and you smiled against Freddie’s lips

  “Dad?” he whispered and you could see the pride cover his face

  “Dad” you whispered back

  “I like the sound of that” he smiled, sitting back in the booth and bringing Jackson into his lap and for the first time in a long time, you could picture your life with Freddie and Jackson.

xx

2 Years Later

  “MY BABY BOY!” Charlotte greeted Jackson outside of the large, stone castle that you were to be marrying Freddie in a few hours

  “GRAMMA C!” he exclaimed, running to her so she could pick him up

  “Hey, Charlotte” you smiled, hugging her when she put down your son

  “Hi, sweetheart,” she said in your ear, “how are you feeling? You ready?”

  “Yeah..” you smiled to yourself, “I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life. Nothing has ever felt so right”

  “Why aren’t you upstairs?” she asked and you laughed

  “Jackson kept running around the castle and I didn’t want him to break anything so I told him that you were on your way and we should head out front to meet you,” you admitted, “so we came out here...”

  “It’s okay to be nervous,” she said, directing you back through the large wooden doors, “but he loves you and you love him and you’ve been waiting for this for a very long time. So have we” she laughed, guiding you back inside so you could get ready; draping your beautiful A-line Chiffon dress with a long train and a plunging neckline with a crystal encrusted v-neck back and buttons trailing your lower spine. You couldn’t help but spinning around to test the move-ability of the dress when Valdemar walked through the door

  “Oh sorry,” he stumbled nervously, “I didn’t mean to interrupt, I’ll ju--”

  “Valdemar, it’s alright,” you laughed, “come on in. I was just testing the dress”

  “You look beautiful” he cooed

  “Thank you” you replied

  “I was told to bring you this,” he said as he handed you an envelope, “it’s from Freddie” you chuckled when you finally looked at the envelope, seeing your soon-to-be husband’s handwriting

  “Thank you, Valdemar. Wait!” you said, stopping him before he left, “I have something for him to” you handed him your note and gave him a kiss on the cheek before he walked out of the room; leaving you in a separate part of the suite than your bridesmaids. As you read his note, all you could think was, I should’ve read this before I got my makeup done

  “Ready?” a voice asked you from across the room and you took a deep breath, turning to find Amalie standing by the door

  “I’m ready.” As you walked down the aisle, you noticed a smile glow brightly on his face and the same one was reciprocated on yours

  “We come now to the words Freddie and (Y/N) want to hear the most today,” the Officiant started, “the words that take them across the threshold from being engaged to being married. A marriage, as most of us understand it, is a voluntary and full commitment. It is made in the deepest sense to the exclusion of all others, and it is entered into with the desire and hope that it will last for life. Before you declare your vows to one another, I want to hear you confirm that it is indeed your intention to be married today. Frederik, do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to (Y/N) in marriage? If so, answer ‘I do.’”

  “I do” Freddie smiled and the Officiant continued

  “(Y/N), do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Frederik in marriage? If so, answer ‘I do.’”

  “I do” you whispered back with a smile

  “Frederik and (Y/N), having heard that it is your intention to be married to each other, I now ask you to declare your marriage vows. Please face each other and hold hands,” the Officiant directed, “Frederik, please repeat after me… I, Frederik, take you, (Y/N) to be my wife”

  “I, Frederik, take you, (Y/N) to be my wife” he repeated

  “I will share my life with yours and build our dreams together” the Officiant continued

  “I will share my life with yours and build our dreams together”

  “Support you through times of trouble and rejoice with you in times of happiness”

  “Support you through times of trouble and rejoice with you in times of happiness”

  “I promise to give you respect, love and loyalty”

  “I promise to give you respect, love and loyalty”

  “This commitment is made in love, kept in faith, lived in hope and made new every day of our lives“

  “This commitment is made in love, kept in faith, lived in hope, and made new every day of our lives.” It was then your turn to repeat the same vows and then continued with the ring exchange until it was finally time to announce your new relationship

  “I am pleased to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Andersen!” you smiled before you opened your mouth in surprise and turning to Freddie

  “We’re married!” you replied

  “We are” he returned as the two of you made your way back down the aisle into the castle. The reception was everything you didn’t know you wanted and Freddie got all of his Danish traditions that the two of you had discussed during all the months of planning and it was perfect. You danced all night, you drank too much and sang call and response songs with the guests, you spent most of the night in a pair of fuzzy slippers that Freddie surprised you with and you made sure to get as many pictures with everyone as possible; but the most important thing to you was that Jackson and Freddie were by your side

  “My two beautiful boys. My lovely men. I love you both so much. SO MUCH!” you drunkenly slurred as you kissed each of their cheeks

  “I think it’s time you get some water” Freddie smirked

  “That sounds good”

  “Mom?” Jackson asked as Freddie made his way to the bar to grab you a glass

  “Yeah?” you asked, moving his soft hair behind his ear

  “What happens now?”

  “You really like that question, don’t you?” you laughed, just as Freddie returned with an almost overflowing glass of water

  “Here you go, Elske” he said and kissed your forehead before taking his seat next to you

  “Thank you, husband” you cooed, leaning in for a kiss

  “You’re welcome, wife” he smiled before kissing you softly

  “Baby, to answer your question,” you turned your attention back to Jackson, “what happens now is that we start our life together. As our own little unit, our little family. We’ll go on adventures, you’ll go to more games and we’ll all celebrate the wins together and cope with the losses together. It doesn’t matter because we’ll all be together”

  “Does that sound good?” Freddie asked and Jackson nodded. You directed them out onto the dance floor for one final dance before Charlotte and Ernst had agreed to take Jackson upstairs so he could get some sleep. Guests started to make their way to you to say goodbye and, before long, it was just you and Freddie left alone in the ballroom

  “Hey,” you whispered as his fingers traced along your thigh, “wanna dance?”

  “Yeah” he whispered back before bringing your face to his, kissing you slowly but intensely. You tucked yourself close to his body, letting his heartbeat guide your movements before you were left alone in silence, not realizing everyone had cleared out. “Can you believe that we get to spend the night in a castle?”

  “Can you believe we’re married?” you giggled, your head still resting on his chest

  “I can,” he admitted with a laughed, “I just can’t believe it took us this long”

  “Good things come to those who wait” you teased

  “Yes they do”

  “I love you, husband”

  “I love you, too, wife.”

[the-darklings]

coa one year later & self-reflection

(*drags out a creaky metal chair and plops down on it heavily*)

Hi. It’s me, ya boi skinny--

Wait, wrong one. Do over.

Hi, it’s me, Kat, and I’m not dead. Clearly. Today being one year anniversary of COA has kinda put me in a reflective mood, so I guess I decided to sit down and just...talk about some things, thoughts and feelings I’ve been bottling inside for a hot sec. Especially given how radio silent I have gone on here and people deserve a bit of perspective. 

And before anyone starts worrying, it’s all good, and I’m still around and currently in good health for the most part. 

So, let’s take it back to the start. Regardless of how dramatic it may sound, we need to go back a year for that. 

By technicality alone, COA actually turned one year old on October 12th. That’s when the first part was posted. However, the reason I’m treating today as the aforementioned birthday is simple: I had no intention of this story ever being more than a short two-parter. I told this to the discord gang already but COA was only going to have two parts. V was going to die in Tokyo and the rest of the story follows glimpses of John throughout the movies and it’s her ghost that haunts him. Skipping ahead, it was going to have a bittersweet ending of John eventually dying, having completed his task, only to be greeted by V, Daisy and Helen in the afterlife. A peace of sorts. Then, I realised that, well, no. I have more to say on this world and intrigue about this placeholder character V kept growing. 

November 1st happened and I made a very last minute call to continue COA but with the added pressure of doing it during NaNoWriMo 2019. And boy did I. Most of the story was figured out during that very intense month. I posted Part 2 on this day a year ago because I was so eager to share it. Perhaps, in retrospect, a bit too eager. 

For those of you who may not know this, I work as a writer full time for my actual every day job. I’m the main writer for an original webcomic called In the Bleak Midwinter on Webtoon.com and have been for almost two years now. Getting what is essentially your dream job is amazing. I’m very lucky on that front but it also taught me stark realities of having your job and only hobby overlap. It’s a dangerous creative mix. Especially because I was not used to being constraint in what I create or the feeling like I have to please anyone else. Writing as a job is a whole other avenue of creative exhaustion. I love my job a lot and am very, very lucky to have it but it doesn’t change the fact that those initial stages made me fall back on COA a lot for creative freedom that I craved so desperately. To an unhealthy degree looking back on it now. 

But going back to November last year. NaNo time. I did it. Finished on the 24/25th I believe. A juicy final count of 52k+. All while maintaining a weekly update schedule for a fic that usually hit around 10k per update, if not more, even during those early days. Add writing an original story on top of that. Writing every day for hours on end (we are talking 10-12hr days) without any time for other hobbies or time for myself in general. I kept pushing and pushing and pushing. Losing weight and sleep in the process. I think the thing that convinced me that I should continue doing so is the fact that the outpour of support for COA ended up surpassing anything I ever expected or even dared to hope for. I’m not a huge numbers person but the outpour of love and just sheer investment in the story and characters blew me away. John Wick fandom is on the smaller side and has been going through downtime when I posted COA so my expectations were...well, small tbh. I like keeping expectations low to avoid any disappointments in general. But I’ve also always had an issue of being a massive 0 or 100 kind of person. If I love something, it consumes me. In this case, it brought me as much joy and freedom as much as it was steadily pushing me towards the ultimate crash. 

That being said, I can’t thank you all enough for every comment, like, reblog and message and fanart. You’re the reason I got this far. With your support. It brightened some really dark days for me.

But. 

To be frank, it’s never been about you guys. I never wrote or pushed because I felt like I had to appease anyone. That creative mindset is pure poison and I long since learned to let go of it. I kept pushing and kept working myself to the bone because I liked it. I liked how reading peoples’ responses made me feel. I liked the addictive nature of reading all the comments and theories after an update. I loved the idea of brightening peoples’ days and giving them something to cheer them up after what might have been a shitty day. Even if that was at expense of my own time/well being. But for a long time, it wasn’t. I love writing a lot but facts remain facts. 

It was beyond unhealthy and burnout wasn’t a question of if but when and that when was approaching at neck-breaking speed. 

So we come to the end of November. Part 4 has just come out. People were invested and I was invested alongside them. I was just finishing up Part 5 which (back then) was the biggest single chapter I’ve ever written and god I still recall my sheer dread because that was the beginning of Santino being established as a LI. Looking back on that now, it’s downright hilarious how worried I was about the reception of him and V together after John.

So honestly, I hit burnout at around Part 8. Because that’s the first time I recall struggling with writing a chapter. Part 8 came out on December 28th. I had a brief break for holidays. But my mistake was not taking longer back then. Because I continued writing with a barely healed burnout. Followed by almost a year of struggling and continuously creating through that state. It wasn’t like I eased off the pressure, either. Oh, no. The chapters grew in size, the world and the characters with it. AUs amassed quickly and while I adore every single one - again, I didn’t know how to pace myself well enough.

I’m spiteful though. The more the chapters struggled the more I pushed against the burnout. By the time Chicago arrived, however, I knew I was in trouble. I ended up writing 43k+ in a span of 2 months, I believe. And while to some it may not seem like a lot given the time frame, it’s a lot when you’re burnout to a crisp & writing an original story for work + deadlines. Which I was burned out and then some. Chicago was something I was looking forward to writing for months. I have built it up since Part 4. It was a long time coming. So while I’m still proud of it, I would be lying if I said that some scenes were not sacrificed for the sake of keeping to my invisible schedule that no one but me actually cared about. You guys have always been patient. I never felt pushed into anything. It’s always only ever been me doing the harm. 

Chicago was the downwards spiral for me mentally. I felt like I was failing to live up to my own expectations. That people were drifting away from it. I was plagued by the thought that the story I poured so much into was falling apart and growing weaker. Which this has always been an issue with me: I am my own harshest critic. Always have been. In fact, I’m a downright mean little fucker when it comes to just tearing at myself. I know writing is for fun - and it is - but I still like the idea of being proud of my work which only made everything worse despite the love each update received. 

This takes us to the beginning of June. Specifically, June the 2nd. Or, as I like to call it: Kat Makes Another Impulsive Decision but This One Actually Works Out For the Better. On this day, I created the COA Discord server. And damn, I’m not sure what exactly I was expecting when I did ngl. I did it for fun and as an escape more so than anything. But somehow it ended up being the best decision I made in a long while. I know some of you are reading this. So love you lots, dorks. It’s such a privilege to be able to call so many of you my friends even outside of COA now. That little community has given me some of the best memories from this year and helped me to crawl out of my own metaphorical pit I was stuck in. Mentally, I’m doing much better than I did beginning of this summer. Which could be summed up as a constant self-hatred cycle and a feeling of inadequacy. 

That, however, does not mean my burnout magically disappeared. If anything Chapter 17 just put a nail in the coffin so to speak. 2020 has been a shitty year just across the board for obvious reasons I don’t need to go into here but that can only partially be attributed to my mental state. Chapter 17 was...exhaustive. To say the least. But I was determined to stick with my vision and not split it up. I was also starting to be a bit more forgiving towards myself in terms of how long I may take to write it thanks to guys on discord though the feeling of failure and worry never quite faded fully. I’m proud of Part 17. Truly. But that was also when I hit rock bottom creatively on COA. It drained me completely. 

I tried writing Part 18 for weeks after, day in and day out, not getting past the first scene and hating every word I wrote. So I took a deep breath and stopped. Figured I let it marinate and wait instead of trying to piece one of the most crucial chapters in this story like some Frankenstein monster two sentences at the time.

So my solution was simple: give myself some distance from it and write other things. Get my spark back. Of course that’s always a good idea. Having multiple creative escapes is the best thing you can do for yourself creatively. There was just one tiny little problem. 

I was still burned out. Still am. The problem went deeper than just being burned out over COA. I was burned out over writing itself. 

Which is an issue for a person who only has writing as a creative outlet.

I don’t have any other way to express myself. So I was stuck in a runt, trying to write because it’s the only thing that makes me genuinely happy even when I really shouldn’t have. And let me tell you. It’s a shitty fucking feeling. My burnout worsened. I had a thousand ideas but every time I tried to get them down it felt forced, fragmented, and weak. Repetitive and dry. Now, this is also in part because English isn’t my native language, so my vocab is limited as a result, but I hit that sweet rock bottom in that regard, too. 

So, I worked on V (but in her OC form Clara), Lucien and The Elites. All those characters have grown so much since you last read about them. I have multiple original projects planned down the line that will feature all of them existing in their own world, with their own stories and no longer constrained by JW canon.  

Which, finally, takes us to the end of October and beginning of November 2020. 

I was convinced that the best course of action was to do NaNo again but with an original story this time (involving V). Suffice to say, it took a grand total of maybe 5-6 days and hating every second of writing it while also feeling like this project I’m so passionate and excited to write (still am) is just...going down the toilet to be blunt, to realise I may have made the wrong call. 

Still, the stubborn ass that I am, I pushed through. Convinced I can get into it if I just keep going. The realizations that I am sharing with you right now won’t have been possible if it hadn’t been for a rather curious turn of events about a week and a half ago.

I recently bought a gaming laptop, all in preparation for Cyberpunk 2077 dropping ofc. But, in the meantime, I kept recommending a game to a friend on the COA server. That game? Far Cry 5. (It’s a blast to play btw, just a side note.) And playing it brought back all the feelings of nostalgia from the days when I used to write for that fandom. So I revisited some old work. Checked the stuff I never published and that has been sitting ducks in my docs for months and hoo boy. Let me tell you it was a vibe check of the worst kind. 

The stark difference in the prose and the ease with which it flowed was...startling. It made me remember why I love writing so much and how proud I used to be of what I wrote back in the day. Which is not to say I’m not proud now, but it was just such a sharp dip in quality it was impossible to ignore.  

So I didn’t.  

I paused NaNo, moving it to another month. I paused writing for everything but work, which with our season coming to an end I will also get a rest from soon, too. I kinda paused in general. For the first time in a while, I finally forced myself to switch off. Rest. 

The reason why I haven’t been on here is simple: guilt and not having energy to be on here. I like making my blog a safe space for everyone. Similar to escape it has become for me. I couldn’t pretend I was fine when I wasn’t. I felt obliged to perform and being here became exhausting. I haven’t been checking my inbox. Haven’t done much of anything except occasionally dropping by and reblogging a random post so people know I’m alive.

And that’s that, folks. That’s where I am currently. Resting. Completely exhausted mentally but resting. Getting my energy back. 

So where does that leave us, huh? If you read this far, dunno what to tell you. Thanks, I suppose. It’s still odd to think people actually care about my existence sometimes.

I know what you’re likely thinking, too. So does this mean COA is never gonna be finished? What is gonna happen to it? Are you abandoning it?

The answer: no. 17 out of 25 chapters and 250k+ in, I’m too far in not to give it a proper conclusion. Not because I owe it to anyone other than myself. I want this story to be a stepping stone for my future as a writer. I want to prove to myself that I can get this done and finish it. As of right now (as you can no doubt tell with how long it’s been since last update) it’s on a soft hiatus while I rest. This rest? Not sure how long it may last. Right now, my plan is till mid December at which point I will reevaluate. Ideally, I finish the year with an update. But my New Year’s resolution is to finish COA. That timeline has become a little more murky now but, again, ideally it’s within the first quarter of 2021. Will that happen? I don’t know. And I don’t want to make false promises, either. 

All I’m saying is that it will be done. I’m just no longer sure how long, exactly, it may take me to reach that Epilogue. I don’t expect many people to stick around for however long it may take me, but if you do, thank you. Truly. I really and deeply mean that. 

So what’s on the cards for this blog in the meantime? Well, CP77 is coming out in under a month (if it doesn’t get moved again lmao rip) and I expect that to be my soft return to posting my writing on here again. We will see where the muse takes me, if at all. Regardless though, I’m excited. 

One doctorate thesis later, here we are at the end of this really long rambling session. I hope that this has given you some perspective on things going on behind the scenes. I spared you some of the gorier details but I think this post has been long overdue. I suppose I, myself, was just too unwilling to face these things despite knowing about them deep down for a while now. I’m too self-critical not to notice but acting on correcting this behavior has been a whole other matter clearly. 

Thank you for reading this post, my writing in general, and supporting me. I’m not going anywhere. I’m still around. More is on the way in the future. I’ll be seeing you all real soon. And all my love to all of you. 

Love,

- Kat.   

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Special Skill ~ J.P. (part 1)

A/n: After Drive By part 2 WIPED me the fuck out, I tried to rejuvenate myself with some lighter content and ended up realizing that I actually ADORE Bradley Steven Perry, so I went back and watched some old shows and movies he’s in. When I stumbled on Pants on Fire... well, you know I had to ;) This was the piece I was so excited about! It’ll be a two parter because I cannot do all of ANYTHING in one part it seems lmao

Warning: This is male reader and also PURELY self indulgent. Also, LOTS of lying and manipulation. Being ignored. Highschool. Nothing too serious.

Word Count: 5600+

MASTERLIST

Everyone has a special skill. Some people are just really great at school. Some people are fast learners. Some people are natural, easily funny. Some people are good with kids. Some people were fantastic at keeping promises, or never failed to do what they felt had to be done no matter the cost.

Jack Parker's special skill was lying.

Y/n's special skill was being completely invisible.

Not like in a  superhero way, but in a high school way. Y/n was really quiet and reserved. He wasn't caught up in the normal high school things like relationships and popularity. In fact, he was withdrawn on purpose, finding most kids his age to be really annoying or ridiculous on some level. He was never rude, but he did prefer people watching and laughing to himself, to actually interacting with others.

He never meant to eavesdrop, it was just that he'd be sitting on the floor, leaning against a book shelf reading a book when someone on the other side of the bookshelf would start talking about something that he tuned into without thinking. Or, his quietness allowed people to forget that they weren't alone while walking or riding the bus and they'd talk loud enough for him to hear when he wasn't too far away. He perhaps could have tried harder to avoid people and give them their space, and he almost had... until one day he'd overheard Jack Parker and his best friend Ryan talking about something so very interesting that it convinced him to never stop listening to people ever again.

Jack Parker was... an interesting person, let's start there. A few people were pretty sure that half the things he said were true out of sheer improbability. However, Jack was such an amazing liar that no one could prove him wrong, and after a while even the ones who disbelieved him the most fell for his confidence and charisma. He just SEEMED like he was telling the truth. Everyone believed Jack when he told them something happened, especially when he became a local hero for tutoring some boy from another school. Mikey.

Well, almost everyone believed him at least. His very best friend, Ryan, knew the truth because Jack had told him. And Y/n knew because he'd been within earshot when Jack had told Ryan in the first place.

It had been what usually happens. The two boys had been in the back of the bus, as they both got off at the last stop - along with Y/n. They didn't know this though, because Y/n sat in front of them, just a few seats. He didn't talk, or even move a lot. He even sunk a lot into his seat as he was quite small, and leaned against the window to look outside, one earphone in his ear. As usual, his weird talent to be invisible no matter how hard he tried - for god's sake he was wearing a neon red jacket that day - he went completely undetected. So when Jack had explained to Ryan that he had lied about Mikey, and what it meant for them, Y/n had been well within ear shot to hear the whole thing.

Y/n could have told someone. Probably should have. But he had... a sort of crush on Jack, and selling him out wouldn't get Y/n anywhere with getting on the boy's good side. Not to mention, there weren't many people that would believe him - if there were any at all. He probably could have figured out a way to show Jack up. To rip apart his tapestry of lies and expose him to everyone. But Y/n believed that mistakes should be learned from. If he exposed Jack now, all that would happen is that Jack's life would be ruined and Jack would hate him. Things would come out eventually, and hopefully it would be from Jack himself. If that damage had to be done, Y/n wasn't going to be the one to do it.

He never really was, though. He never did much of anything.

All of that being said, Jack and Ryan were not the only ones stunned when the very Mikey that had been a ruse, suddenly turned up at school. Solid and smiling and talking and very much real. He passed every test and followed through treating Jack exactly how you'd expect Mikey to be. With him came Jack's super hot girlfriend from Arizona, even though Jack was so obviously crushing on one of the girls at school - Jenny. If that hadn't been bad enough, Jack and Ryan themselves broke into the room where Y/n was having shop class, being chased by lumberjacks who seemed to have it out for Jack. Weirdly enough, that fit another one of Jack's lies - once he'd broken his arm apparently single handedly fighting off two lumberjacks, but Y/n had seen Jack at the bike park the day before, and had seen him fall and break his arm, so he'd known better. Seeing them here now worried Y/n. So of COURSE he offered to take the two men out of the school where they belonged, and used it as an opportunity to dip out of class and follow after Jack to see if anymore of the lies Jack had told had come true.

Maybe even figure out what the hell was going on, and stop it.

Jack probably didn't deserve it, but if this got serious then Jack would be in danger from lumberjacks and aliens and pro wrestlers alike - and those were just the lies Y/n had heard about. Life was hard enough without your life being in danger, and that directly putting others' lives in danger as well. Y/n usually sat back and did nothing, but this wasn't one of those times.

After school, Y/n decided to go home - he wasn't going to follow Jack THAT far. But only the very next day, the rumor that Jack had been outside Jenny's house covered in all kinds of different things - including makeup - Y/n realized that maybe Jack needed an extra pairs of eyes to help him out. Unfortunately, Y/n lost Jack pretty early in the day as none other than Mikey himself approached after having a short exchange with Ryan and Jack. "Hey!" he greeted warmly.

Y/n stared back for a few seconds. Mikey seemed to get uncomfortable - the first negative reaction he'd had to literally anyone his entire time being here. "Hi," Y/n finally responded evenly, narrowing his eyes.

The response seemed to cheer Mikey up again. "Now that I'm transferring schools and coming here permanently, I think I want to make friends outside of Jack. He seems to be close with everyone here on some level, except for you and a few others. Figured I'd try each of you guys until someone - or even all of you - want to be my friend too!"

That made Y/n smirk. "I know you're full of shit."

Apparently, Mikey hadn't been expecting that. "I'm sorry?"

Shaking his head, Y/n scoffed. "I know Jack lied about there even being a Mikey. If you're just here to psyche Jack out, or for some magic thing, why are you trying to be friends with ME? No one wants to be friends with me."

This time it was Mikey who didn't respond right away. "You're less invisible than you think. I saw you in the window yesterday, watching me and Jack. I also saw you take those lumberjacks out of the school, which probably saved the boys a lot of time. I also saw you following Jack around the rest of school after that. You're the only one in this entire school who seems to be questioning anything." He smirked. "I have a friend who would really appreciate your help, especially since you know the truth about Jack... if you wanted to get him back for it."

Okay that wasn't what Y/n had been expecting. "Will I finally know what's going on?" Mikey nodded. "Will I have to participate in duping Jack?"

Mikey only shrugged. "We'll see what she says. Probably not."

How could he say no? "Who's this she, and what are you guys up to?"

Finally, that huge grin returned to Mikey's face. "I'm so glad you asked."

-

When Hannah had finished explaining the lengths she'd gone to in order to shake Jack up enough to finally tell everyone all he'd been lying about, Y/n had only one thing to say. "So you're lying to him to get him to come clean about lying to everyone else? At least now we know for sure you're both related."

That made her go a little red. "Listen, you have a little sister. You bring her to the fun center all the time." To that Y/n had to nod. "I see the way you sort of blend. I've picked Jack up from school for enough years now that I also notice the way you look at him." Y/n went stiff and Hannah chuckled. "Listen. He's a tool, and I have NO idea what you see in him, knowing what you know. But if you help me do this, maybe I'll help you out with your dilemma."

Y/n crossed his arms over his chest, suddenly not in a very cheery mood. "As much as I appreciate the thought Hannah, I'd rather like him from a distance than have to be friends with a straight boy I've liked for years okay? I'll keep my mouth shut - don't make any other promises you can't keep. Especially because-" Y/n swallowed a thick something caught in his throat. "He likes someone else.

There was an odd look on Hannah's face, but it was hard to read and she wasn't about to explain it which was most clear when she just kept on talking. So Y/n dismissed the look altogether. "Fine, that's fair." They parted ways there as Y/n noticed Jack and Ryan walking over to head home. Y/n had left class early to talk to Hannah in the empty parking lot, but now his time was up. "See you around, Hannah. Good luck." She winked and the boys shot Y/n confused looks as they got in the car and he left. As he went, he could hear them asking Hannah who he was, but she just said that Y/n had been asking for advice because they worked together, and left it there.

With how easy the words had left Hannah, and with how much confidence she'd had, perhaps Jack's talent for lying was more of a family thing than Hannah would like to admit. The thought amused Y/n enough to cheer him up. For now at least.

The next day in PE very quickly ruined his mood again though, as they were set up to play dodge ball. Mikey ended up being one of the team leaders, and he chose Y/n first to be on his team. Everyone was surprised. No one ever picked Y/n first. Even standing in front of them dressed in bright blue and red, he still blended into the crowd and it was often that not until everyone else had been picked they even realized he was there at all. Unfortunately, Y/n knew why Mikey saw Y/n so clearly. Why Mikey had picked him first. And he wasn't happy about it.

During the games, Mikey didn't talk much to Y/n which was appreciated, but the attitude Y/n gave him every time they DID interact seemed to catch Jack's attention - exactly what he didn't want to happen. Especially when a few games in everyone was picked off one by one until Jack and Ryan stood against Y/n and Mikey. Two on two, with Jack's eyes trained on Y/n in a way that made Y/n feel like he was going to explode. Perhaps it was that exact energy that demanded to be used that had driven him to pick up a ball and throw it at Ryan, nailing the red head right in the chest. "Nice shot!" Mikey congratulated. Y/n rolled his eyes.

In his moment of distraction, Jack hit Y/n with a ball as well. Y/n looked over when he was hit and the two boys' eyes locked. Jack seemed to be asking a question Y/n didn't want to even look at. Didn't want to hear, let alone answer. So he ducked his head and dipped, bee lining it for the water fountain on the opposite end of the gym to wait out the rest of the game so he could have as little downtime as possible to interact with Jack. It was that action which caused him to miss Jack nailing Jenny in the face with a ball aimed for Mikey, but he'd hear enough about it later to plenty make up for it.

After class was lunch, and Y/n would have made it peacefully to his usual spot under the bleachers, but Hannah stopped him on the way. Y/n was expecting her to ask him to be nicer to Mikey, but her eyes were only full of concern. "Mikey told me what happened in PE. How Jack noticed you, and how you ran away. He said you looked upset."

Y/n sighed, his shoulders sagging. "Honestly I just..." He wasn't used to having someone care about him, or talking about his feelings. It felt so promising to finally be able to, but also terrifying. Perhaps he and Hannah were in cahoots now, but she had no reason to actually care about Y/n. She was probably only asking to make sure that he didn't slip and tell Jack anything, which gave the thought that once this whole thing was over, she wouldn't care anymore. That meant Y/n could NOT get attached to her. Temporary things weren't worth putting effort into. "Nothing. I'm just used to noticing, not being noticed. Mikey sort of drew attention to me when he picked me first and it threw me off." He shrugged. "Now if you'll excuse me-"

"Hannah?" The sound of his voice made Y/n freeze, perfectly still. Not even breathing. "Drive us to Funland."

"Please?" She prompted, eyes staying purposefully away from Y/n, who kept his back to Jack but was still unfortunately in full view of her.

"Hannah," Jack tried again, voice laced with irritation. "Drive us to Funland. Please." the last word came out sarcastic and sharp. Y/n felt himself relaxed, ever amused by Jack's unceasing attitude.

"No," Hannah answered bluntly, smirking as she crossed her arm. Y/n actually smiled, and that only served to encourage her even more.

"Come on," Jack complained.

Ryan seemed to be less sure about wanting to go though. "We can't go back there," he reminded urgently. "Otis banned us for life." Y/n shot a look at Hannah, whose smirk only grew. Y/n had known for a long time that she worked at Funland - after all, he did take his little sister there like she'd said. He was beginning to wonder what shenanigans he'd been missing out on.

"We have no choice," Jack argued, turning to his friend. "If we want to get rid of Mikey once and for all, we have to find that purple hippo."

That caught Y/n off guard, and without thinking he turned to face Jack, too confused to think clearly. "I'm sorry, you're looking for Hurley?"

Jack only then seemed to realized Y/n was there, and he stopped a second, as if realizing it was the same kid who's been playing dodge ball with Mikey. Ah yes, back to being invisible. "No," Jack picked up again. "We're talking about a purple hippo at Funland who stands around and hands out balloons."

"Yeah," Hannah said this time. "His name's Hurley. And he doesn't hand out balloons."

"Well, when Emma and I went yesterday, Bart was off," Y/n piped up, directing that at Hannah. He didn't want to address Jack yet, and every time he looked at Ryan, the red head had gears turning so visibly not even his narrowed eyes could hold it off.

"That explains it," Hannah affirmed, nodding.

Jack was the next one to pipe in. "How do you two know all this?"

Hannah answered that one. "Jack, I've worked there for two years. I see Y/n there all the time with his little sister."

"Seriously?" Jack's shoulder relaxed, and Y/n realized that he'd pieced together why Y/n and Hannah were so casually talking to each other. He must have paid as close attention to Hannah as he did to Y/n though, because Y/n and Hannah had never really talked until all of the recent stuff that had been happening.

That theory was confirmed when Hannah huffed, "Where did you think I was going for four hours every day after school?"

"Well I don't know." Jack's eyes went wide as he shrugged. "I was just happy you were out of the house." Hannah sighed and took Y/n's arm to drag him after her as she began to walk away. There was only a second before Jack trailed after them, desperation leaking into his voice. "Hannah," he pleaded. "Hannah, please!"

Hannah was strong. Y/n wasn't. He pulled out of her grasp, turning to face Jack. "If you're really set on finding Hurley for whatever weird breakdown you seem to be having, his main habitat is the jungle mini golf course. Look for him there, okay?"

Jack grinned. "I like your new friend Hannah. He's awesome."

Y/n looked away to hide his blush.

"Yeah yeah, now go," Hannah dismissed, and the two boys ran off to go find Hurley. She grinned at Y/n when they were gone. "You know I'm Hurley, right?"

Y/n winced. "I know that now."

She giggled. "It's fine. This could be a good thing actually. They seem lost - I'll give em a little nudge." She leaned closer, bumping her shoulder with his. Her finger on the other arm reached up to tap his nose. "Push him in all the right directions." She winked, and then took off walking without Y/n this time, leaving him with a sinking dread in his stomach.

He pushed it down to take Emily to Funland just like he always did though... which had been a mistake. He thought that it would have been a big enough place to avoid Jack and Ryan, but only an hour later they were heading out of the jungle mini golf course when Ryan walked up to them, which of course meant Jack followed after. "Hey, I never caught your name?"

Y/n wished in that moment he could just die on the spot. "It's Y/n," he answered, hoping that would make Ryan go away. Long story short: it didn't.

"You've been coming here with Emma for a few years," Ryan continued. "Do you have any idea who Hubert could be?”

"Hurley," Y/n corrected tiredly. Ryan nodded. Y/n let his eyes drift away, searching out Emma as she climbed the rock wall. Unlike Jack, he wasn't good at lying. People never asked him questions - they never talked to him at all. But he had to lie. On some level. He DID know who Hurley was, but he couldn't exactly tell Jack that. Damnit Hannah, why did she have to tell him?! "Not really," Y/n finally caved. Ryan rose an eyebrow. "I mean I saw Hurley without a head once when I first came here, but they were fired as far as I know so I'm assuming it's someone new. That was three and a half years ago." It was truthful in full. Aside from the just the story, he didn't really know Hannah personally. He could have told them he knew it was her now, but he just. Didn't. Everything else had enough truth to it that it wasn't hard to sell.

Jack stepped up. "This probably makes no sense to you, but I just wanted to thank you for helping out. I think I've seen you around school a few times, but we've never like talked or anything. I just have to ask... why ARE you helping?"

Y/n shrugged. "I hate lying, and there's no harm in telling you what I did." Only then did he look away from Emma again as she began to reach the bottom of the rock wall, directly into Jack's eyes. "You have a lot going for you. It would be a shame if some unexpected drama were to ruin everything else." Jack's eyebrows came together, but before he could say anything Emma had reached the bottom and had made her way over - as Y/n had intended.

"Who are your friends?" the ten year old asked.

"Not my friends," Y/n corrected in the same nonchalant voice he'd used to remind Ryan of Hurley's name. "Just people I got to school with. They were just leaving-"

Emma's eyes went wide. "Wait, you're Jack aren't you?" Y/n went stiff. "My brother used to talk about you all the time! You're like the coolest kid at his school."

Jack turned his raised eyebrows on again, still aiming them at Y/n. Y/n shrugged. "What teenager who goes unnoticed and completely uncared for doesn't want to be friends with the popular kid?" He put either of his hands on Emma's shoulders, steering her away. "Nice to see you guys, later!"

Unfortunately, Jack didn't leave it there. "No wait!" He jogged over and Emma stopped, which forced Y/n to as well. "You've been cool. I wouldn't mind being friends."

Ironically, Y/n flashed back to what he'd said to Hannah. How much he had so NOT wanted this exact thing to happen. But what could he say. 'Sorry don't want to be friends with my crush, that would suck'? He couldn't that. But else would make sense? "Sure," Y/n sighed.

For some reason, that made Jack smile. "If you guys are set on staying here for a while longer, you can, but you could also come hang out with me and Ryan at my house if you wanted."

Y/n went to decline, but Emma got to it first. "Only if I can come along," she stated firmly. "This is sibling time. You get to join, not interrupt."

"That's fair," Jack agreed. "Come on!" The four kids headed outside after getting Emma's shoes and stuff, ready to catch the bus back to Jack's house. Y/n was sweating bullets. Unfortunately, going to Jack's house was the least of his problems. The second they were outside, Jack froze. "Perhaps... we should cancel the whole going to my house thing," Jack began nervously. His eyes moved to the others slowly, fear in them. Y/n seemed to put together what had him immediately - another lie had come to life. As if on cue, Jack looked at Y/n and Emma before his eyes glued to Ryan with purpose. "Remember when I told Eric that I was late meeting him because I was abducted by aliens?"

Ryan immediately went tense, and Y/n went pale. All four pairs of eyes turned to the roof, following Jack's lead as they saw what he had. Two men, wearing odd glasses like Cyclops from the X-Men comics. They seem to look identical - down to the matching shiny, silver suits and black, polished shoes. Very... what one might assume... alien vibes.

"No," Ryan whispered, forcing himself to reject what he was seeing. "I absolutely do not remember. I refuse to remember!" He even turned away, eyes focused purposefully on the cement.

"Too late," Jack shot down, his voice full of regret and resigned fear. He looked at Y/n and Emma, and in that moment the look that Jack had on his face would be burned in Y/n's mind forever. This is the face Jack made when he told the truth. "They're back."

"There are no such thing as aliens," Emma argued, shaking her head even as she looked up at the two men on the roof with awe.

"Right!" Ryan agreed, getting his momentum back. "Those are just two dudes, you know, wearing weird suits, standing on top of a roof." Jack and Emma nodded along, but Y/n was the one who had kept his eyes glued on the men, so he was the one who first saw the very bad news.

"They're running down it!" He screamed, jumping back to push Emma behind him, protected for maybe only a second longer than if he'd just left her be.

The two men landed, removed their weird glasses to reveal glowing red eyes, and then opened their mouths to release a high pitched, terrible shrieking sound. Y/n was most disturbed by the fact that they seemed to be even more identical with the visors off. So when Jack said to run, all four of them did, taking off into the garbage and hopping into the back of a truck. The aliens ran by and they were home free... well, until they almost ran face first into the lumberjacks, who had been so good as to find Jack again - this time with even more friends in harm's way. They were all running again, booking it into the elevator and to the top floor where they came out on the roof of all places. Where, to everyone's luck, the lumberjacks also were as they'd taken the stairs. Where, just as well, the aliens were as well, having run up the long way - through the parking lot. Even Otis was here, on his little golf cart to run them down as well.

Just as all hope seemed to be lost, Jack's fake girl from Arizona - Y/n never learned her name - pulled up in a red convertible, yelling at the four of them to get inside. Emma, Y/n, and Ryan all piled eagerly into the back seat, but Miss Totally not Fake Girlfriend locked the car before Jack could join them - right after he thanked her too, which finally gave Y/n her name. Lisa.

"Not you," Lisa snapped.

"What?" Jack almost screamed. Y/n couldn't blame him - Otis, the lumberjacks, and the aliens were getting closer by the second.

"You broke my heart, Jackie Bear," Lisa whined. Y/n looked away, his hands curling into fists. Putting Jack's life on the line was NOT worth having a heart to heart. This was NOT the time - how selfish did someone have to be? She didn't have to come at all if she didn't want to help, so why wasn't she just doing it and then talking about it later? She could have locked all of them in the car once they were safe and not let him out until... but then was when Y/n realized what this was about. The fake danger would force Jack to spill his guts and be honest, even if he wouldn't have in literally any other situation. Hannah was a genius.

"Lisa, please," Jack pleaded. "Whatever you want, I'll make it up to you."

"You're just saying that because you're selfish and you don't want your brains sucked out of your skull by aliens." The sentence was ridiculous, but Lisa DID have a point. Jack was only using her as an escape - he didn't really care that he'd hurt her.

Jack finally cracked though, not having enough room to think rationally. "Okay what do you want me to say?" he snapped.

"The truth," Lisa stated firmly.

And then, for some reason, Jack looked directly at Y/n, and in his eyes was that same fear from earlier. Y/n realized that the high opinions of others meant everything to Jack. Even now, thinking his life was on the line, with Y/n in the car, he couldn't bring himself to say it. "Just tell her, Jack," Y/n demanded. "I know as well as Ryan does that this whole lying thing has gotten out of hand."

Stunned, Jack looked back to Lisa. His confusion was replaced by regret as he saw HER. The girl he'd hurt by blowing her off to hide her from Jenny. Jenny, who had been hurt by all the other lies as well. Y/n, who seemed to know Jack had been lying but seemed hurt anyway. In that moment, he realized that Y/n was right. This HAD gone too far.

"Why don't you want to be with me?" Lisa asked gently, leaving no room for half truths or cop outs.

Looking around, Jack finally took in his situation... and gave up. "I-" His eyes flickered to Y/n again before landing on Lisa solidly. "I made you up so my friends wouldn't make fun of me."

Lisa smiled. "Get in." The car unlocked and the door opened and Jack was inside, and then they were pulling away and headed to Jack's house.

It was dark when they pulled up and unbuckled. Jack turned to Lisa, thanking her. She only smiled. "I know how much you love trouble, Jackie. Someone's gotta watch out for you." Ryan's eyes found Y/n's in that moment, and Y/n got the terrible feeling he'd been officially wrapped up in something he'd been trying to avoid.

"Listen, I'm sorry I lied to you," Jack apologized now. "I never, ever meant to hurt your feelings. It's just... I'm kind of into someone else." Y/n found himself having to look away, but he didn't miss the way that Ryan caught the pain flickering across his features. He only hoped Ryan wouldn't put together why.

Lisa was unphased. "If you like this someone else so much, Jackie Bear, just... try being honest with them. No one wants a relationship built on lies."

Jack nodded, then looked at Y/n. Feeling his eyes, Y/n looked back. "Speaking of..." He rose an eyebrow and Y/n nodded, recognizing without saying it that they needed to talk. They all got out of the car, said goodbye to Lisa, and then stood there and watched her go. It was then that Jack turned to Y/n again. "How did you know Lisa was a lie?"

Y/n sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I know a lot of things about the people at our high school. I don't MEAN to, people just... don't notice me." He shrugged. "Say things without realizing I can hear you. I was in the bus with you guys when you told Ryan that Mikey was a lie. I was also at the park when you broke your arm on your bike, so I knew you lied about the lumberjacks. I'd hear the "my secret girlfriend in Canada" line so many times it was easy to put together that you were full of crap about that too. I eventually wrote off that most things you said that sounded ridiculous on any level, were. Like your Asian parents and the wrestler and Mikey's dog's bionic tail."

After a second, Jack let out a breath. "Why didn't you ever tell anyone?"

At this, Y/n could only bring himself to shrug. "I don't owe anyone anything, and there was no harm coming from it at the time. I mean, the other people lined up for Student of the Year were annoying, and that was as far as I knew when it came to who you were affecting. It's not my job to keep you from making your own mistakes - you have to be the one to tell them. You have to learn from it. Now more than ever. All of these things happening are affecting more than just you, and Lisa was right. Jenny has probably been hurt by the lying most of all." Jack went to argue, but Y/n just rolled his eyes. "Half the school can see the way you look at her, Jack, you're not lowkey." That shut Jack up immediately.

"Well," Ryan sighed. "Now we know how to fix the whole thing. It worked with Lisa, and it can work with the others too. You just have to tell the truth - that isn't hard."

But then a look crossed over Jack's face, and Ryan and Y/n seemed to realize what he was thinking without him having to open his mouth. "Jack..." Y/n whispered softly.

"I'm just so CLOSE, you guys!" He huffed, looking at the with desperation. "Student of the Year gets announced tomorrow."

"Are you crazy?" Ryan snapped. "After everything we've been through?"

"The hippo said I have to confess to everyone. He never said when," Jack reasoned. "I'll just do it after Student of the Year. You even said it yourself Y/n - those kids are annoying anyway. I'm showing people that grades and crap don't matter - heart does! That's a GOOD thing."

Y/n stepped away when Jack reached a hand out to put on Y/n's shoulder. "But you're not winning on good character, Jack. You're winning through lies. Lies that are becoming a serious problem. And what do you think will happen when they realize you've been lying even after you got the award? You think there are aliens and lumberjacks coming after you and anyone close to you, but you still prioritize what? Being a bat boy?" He shook his head, grabbing Emma's hand. "I was wrong about you Jack. I thought every teenager was afraid of being hated and invisible. I thought you did it because you cared about being able to do the cool things you can - like stop bullies two years older than you from messing with other kids, or getting a whole school to rally together through love and excitement. But the only thing you're doing it for is the glory, and you care more about that than your friends and family." Jack went to say something, but Y/n just shook his head. "I was stupid to have a crush on you. You suck." And then without seeing Jack's reaction, he turned and walked away.

He figured that after his little confession, Jack wouldn't try to be friends with him anymore. Before, he'd been silently afraid of that. No matter what he told himself, he wanted Jack to see him and smile. To know he existed and to enjoy being around him. Yesterday, or just a few minutes ago even, that would have been enough...

Now, Y/n didn't care in the least. If that was how Jack treated people he saw, Y/n was just fine curling up in the shadows and never having Jack look at him again.

[amethyst-geek]

My theories on that scene from the Season 4 preview

When I saw the preview for 4, something that stood out to me (besides Shadow Moth’s hilarious look) is the scene where Alix, Alya, Mylene, Rose, and Juleka getting re-akuamatized. I have come up with several theories regarding the circumstances behind their akumatization, several of which I already shared in the form of asks @princess-of-the-corner and I would like to elaborate on them here (As u can only say so much in an ask), as well as provide some additional theories. 

1. Lila’s lies have successfully gotten the girls pissed at Marinette and/or Ladybug- admittedly, this one is the least likely from both a watsonian and doyelist standpoint. From a doylelist standpoint, I feel like the episode will be enough a re-hash of Felix and Ladybug without the whole “someone got the girls pissed at one of the heroes by framing one of the main characters” thing.  From a Watsonian standpoint, they probably already been informed of Lila’s ‘lying disease’ after the events of Ladybug, so Lila’s probably going to have a harder time getting people to believe her (because if someone told me that they had a lying disease that forces them to lie, I’d probably take any other claim with a grain of salt). 

2. The girls decided to have a meeting to discuss Lila’s disease and how they can help her, and when the girls started comparing notes regarding Lila’s stories (like saving Jagged Stone’s cat) and realized that even her claim about having a lying disease doesn't make sense (because if she was lying about Marinette stealing the test answers and necklace, then how did they wind up in her backpack and locker, and also shouldn't the faculty already been informed of Lila’s disease when she first came to school?). Their confusion regrading what’s true and what isn't, remorse for not listening to Marinette, and anger at Lila, draw an akuma which lands on them while they were holding hands as part of an attempt to comfort each other and calm down. Now unlike in Felix where Lady Wifi is the only akuma that makes sense in the context of “my friend sent us a mean message when we just trying to cheer him up,” most if not all of the returning akumas could easily be applied to the situation of the girls starting to see through Lila’s lies. I can practically hear Hawk Moth’s speech to them- “Timebreaker, you regret having trusted this liar over your own friend, so I‘m giving u the chance to go back in time to fix your mistake. Lady Wifi, I’m giving u back the power to expose her lies. Princess Fragrance, Lila Rossi used u and your friends as pawns, but now, you’ll be the one who controls her and everyone around her. Reflekta, this girl lied to make herself the center of attention, but it might be difficult for her to stand out if everyone looks the same. Horrificator, I’m giving you the power to make Lila feel as helpless as her past victims. In return, well you probably know the drill by now. Do we have a deal?” 

3. Verity Queen made them her knights- Mrs. Rossi runs into Marinette and Sabine and Lila’s lying disease is brought up and Mrs. Rossi is all “my daughter doesn't have a lying disease.” An argument ensues and draws an akuma, which lands on Sabine (who may have been taking the bullet for Marinette) and she becomes Verity Queen, who has a lasso of truth, She then uses her lasso of truth on Marinette (whom Sabine is most trusting of, but she felt Mrs. Rossi would only believe Marinette if she was under the influence of the lasso of truth), and Marinette confirms that she did not cheat or steal Lila’s necklace and that she Lila clammily walk down the stairs instead being pushed down. Verity Queen then asks Marinette why Lila would want to do this, Marinette replies that she was making good on her threat to turn everyone against her. Verity Queen is understandably pissed at Lila, so she leaves to go find Lila, taking Mrs. Rossi with her.  She can't find Lila, but she does manage to find Marinette’s friends, and after explaining to them what Marinette told her about Lila, turns them into her knights, which r their akumatized forms, and she sends them out to search for Lila. They manage to track Lila down and take her to the tv station, where Verity Queen is waiting and has already ‘knighted’ Nadja back into Prime Queen. Verity Queen then uses her lasso of truth to force Lila to admit all of her wrongdoings on live tv. 

4. Mrs. Rossi gets akumatized- Mrs. Rossi finally gets around to asking her colleagues what they should do about Ladybug’s incompetence. Mistaking this for a joke, the colleagues laugh their asses off. As they do so, Mrs. Rossi’s anger at not being taken seriously draws an akuma and here is Hawk Moth speech to her: “Red Queen, nobody but you cares about getting the akumas under control, so I’m giving u the power to do it yourself. In return, I ask that u bring me the miraculous of the heroes too incompetent to do it themselves. Do we have a deal.” The akumatized Mrs. Rossi replies “Time to show those how to do their jobs!” and becomes Red Queen who has the power to turn up to 16 people (I’m going for a chess motif here. Maybe I should call her White Queen instead) back into their akumatized forms (but she’s under the impression that they’re already in their akumatized forms) and control them. Among the people she turns back into akumas are Alix, Alya, Mylene, Rose, and Juleka. As for who the rest of the re-akuamitzed ‘pieces,’ hard to say (there r a lot to choose from). After de-akumatizing Mrs. Rossi, she explains what Lila told her, and the the heroes (which may include new ones, as in this scenario, Ladybug and Chat Noir are dealing with 16 villains, who will probably be more spread out throughout the city this time around) and former ‘chess pieces’ explain the truth  Mrs. Rossi, and one of the girls wonders if Lila’s ‘lying disease’ was acting up, and Mrs. Rossi is all like ‘what lying disease?” Yeah, Lila’s in big trouble. 

5. it’s just a stress-induced nightmare- it won't be the main focus of the episode, it will just be the opening scene to show how the pressure of being the new guardian is getting to her. This scenario is kinda boring.

6. Sandboy 2- Sandboy is back again, but similar to Gamer and Puppeteer, his powers have been modified. This time, instead of bringing people’s nightmares to life, he forces them into a deep sleep where they r forced to deal with nightmares they can’t wake up from (think the “Only a Dream” two-parter of Justice League, except that Sandboy can't enter anyone’s dreams). Among Sanboy’s victims is Marinette. Her nightmare (and possibly the episode, of the writer do that thing where they don't immediately reveal it’s a dream) begins with her friends disappointed with her for reason they refuse to explain and transform back into the akumatized forms and they go after her. In this nightmare, the re-akumtizations don't end with the ones seen the preview. One by one, everyone who has been akumatized turns back into their akuma form, ending with Chat Noir becoming Chat Blanc and then everyone screams at Ladybug/Marinette for falling them. She tries to summon her lucky charm, but it doesn't work. Then a nightmare version of Hawk Moth shows up and he sends an akuma Ladybug, who tries to dodge, only for Volpina to hold her down, and when Ladybug tries to resist the akumtization, all while letting out some of the most bloodcurdling screams in Christina Vee’s career. Meanwhile, in the real world, Tikki tries to wake up Marinette and when that fails, tries to remove her earrings so she can loan them to someone, but that fails too for whatever reason). So out of desperation, Tikki grabs one of the goat miraculous out of the miracle box and tracks down Marc. Tikki explains that Ladybug has been affected by Sandboy’s powers and need Marc’s help to save her). Marc then becomes the goat hero, whose power is astral projection (btw the idea of the goat’s power being astral projection was probably inspired by a fanfic called Capricorn by mico-j-ken, as Capricorn has similar powers. The fanfic in in fan fiction.net if anyone wants to read it). Goat! Marc then uses his powers to enter Marinette’s dreams, to let her know’s just a dream and also give her a much-needed pep talk. Marinette wakes up and transform into Ladybug, and defeats Sandboy. When Marc tries to give the goat miraculous back to Ladybug, she tell him to keep it, explaining that this experience made her realize that there will be situations that she won't be able to get out of with our help. As a sidenote, Marc may or may not have figured out Ladybug’s secret identity (depending on how careful Tikki, such as asking Goat! Marc to close his eyes while she lead Marc to Marinette) and may have found out about Lila’s bitchery via Nightmare!Lila monologging about making good on her threat against Marinette as Goat!Marc was entering Marinette nightmare. 

What do u guys think? Which scenario do think is the coolest and/or most likely? 

[writefightandflightclub]

Indivisible: Part 4

Poe Dameron x reader? Finn x reader? Finn x Poe?

Summary: Finn is your wonderful boyfriend, and Poe is your wonderful best friend. But when Poe begins to look at you differently, you wonder if there’s another way to arrange the pieces of your heart to make it whole.

Part one: here two: here three: here

Author’s note: THIS IS SO SOFT. Quick hit of fluff to round things off, everyone! Hope you’ve enjoyed this four-parter. I’d be very open to continuing with this trio, so let me know if you’d like to see / request any short “Indivisible” head canons, bonus blurbs or drabbles! I’ll get a masterlist up next so you can keep track.

Word count: 1.3k, sweeties. 

Warnings: It’s fairly tame by my standards and more steamy and soft than anything, but it does foray into very brief, tasteful smut so therefore, 18+ ONLY, sorry!

GIF: I had to lol. by @lady--of--fandoms​

The next morning, Poe lies sandwiched in-between you and Finn, your body tessellated against his back and Finn pressed against his front. Finn’s fingers rove lazily over Poe’s hair as you pepper soft kisses to the back of his neck, humming on to his soft skin where your lips land. 

Poe deserves all the love in the world. It makes sense then that he gets double, you think to yourself.

Propped-up on his elbow, Finn whispers across to you, gazing down at Poe’s slumbering face. “He’s so kriffing pretty. That chin is just rude.”

You prop yourself up on to your elbow too, to get a better look at the sleeping pilot. Poe’s eyes are shut, the pretty brush of his eyelashes fanning over his cheeks. He is beautiful. He’s also very clearly awake, although he pretends to be otherwise, his full lips quirking up at the corners following Finn’s words.

“He sure is wonderfully proportioned.”, you whisper at Finn, knowingly. “Except for that big head of his.”

Poe stirs lightly at that, his face cracking into a wide, giveaway grin. Still, his smile subsides into a contented hum as your soft touches continue to move over him.

“Also, good job he’s sleeping, as it’s blissfully quiet without his incessant chat, don’tcha think?”, you continue in hushed tones, your shoulders shaking lightly with a fond chuckle as you rag him.

His grin only gets wider.

“Morning, Dameron.”, you greet in soft, soothing tones, pressing a kiss on to his hairline, your fingers trailing lovingly over the jut of his shoulder blade and along the contours of his side, reaching down to his hip before your fingers retrace their path again.

You’ve both let Poe rest all morning, as it’s fair to say what you and Finn put him through last night has him thoroughly spent.

Poe stretches lightly, and perts his ass into you as he arches his body, beginning the process of shrugging off sleep, though his eyes remain closed.

“Hmm. His ass is rude too.”, you snicker as it brushes up against you. “And he knows it.”

“Shush up. I’m sleepin’.”, he whispers in good-humoured warning. “And don’t wake me, ‘cause I’m having a real nice dream.”

Your lips curl into a smile too, as your fingers retrace down the pilot’s side, this time meeting Finn’s hand draped over Poe’s hip, softly caressing the flesh there. Your hand comes to rest on top of Finn’s where he languidly strokes his palm back and forth over the meat of him.

When your eyes land on Finn’s again you find them happy. Content. He looks as complete as you feel. The sparkle in his eyes is like Starshine against the backdrop of a dark sky.

You like that; Starshine, Moonshine, and Sunshine. You like that a lot.

You keep up the facade of whispering, even as Poe snuggles his arms and crown of curls into Finn’s chest and continues to push his butt back into your warm, spooning embrace, practically purring like a coddled kitten. 

He’s a cute idiot, for sure.

“What do you think? Can we keep him, Finn?” You ask softly, not wanting to let go now that you have Poe next to you.

“Nuh-uh. This one?” Finn teases, with a light chuckle. He nods his head down at Poe. “He’s pretty, for sure, but he’s all drama. Who needs that noise?”. Finn’s broad smile spreads over his face, his bright eyes crinkling. 

“You two suck at whispering.”, Poe chides, turning to lie on his back so that he could more easily see both of you - despite this, he keeps his eyes shut a few moments longer, as if he truly is afraid that the two of you are a dream which will vanish upon waking, leaving him alone.

“You didn’t seem to complain about us sucking last night.”, you tease.

Finn’s warm, open-mouthed laugh fills the room and the makeshift bed jitters along with him. 

Poe finally peels open his umber eyes, smiling up at you both before he swivels his body around to face you specifically, an easy laugh filtering out of him, and his nose crinkling in the way you’ve always loved. And yet didn’t realise quite how much you loved.

Having Poe so close, in this context, is still entirely novel, and it takes you a moment to gather yourself and return his smile, especially as you feel the accopmanying press of him engorging against your hip. Apparently Poe Dameron doesn’t need caf to spring awake in the morning. Who knew?

“Damn, you’re gorgeous when you wake up.”, he says to you, desire pooling quickly in his eyes.

“Isn’t that right?” Finn agrees from behind Poe. Both their gazes converge hungrily on you, as if they’re jointly plotting something, and suddenly you are overcome with the intensity of it. Of their beauty. Of the depth of your feelings for them. Of your desire for them.

Poe half swivels again, propping himself up on both elbows, giving you an amazing view of his bare chest, that chain slung across it, as his head twists towards Finn. The pilot begins whispering a string of words into Finn’s ear, glancing back at you every now and again, each time with a little more heat in his stare. You could guess from the cheeky, devouring glint in Finn’s eyes precisely what they might be conspiring over. You.

Finn responds to Poe’s whispered words intermittently, every now and then saying how, yeah, he thinks you’d like “that”. Or how “that” is one of your favourite things. But Finn gives little away. Just enough to tease you with, each of them trailing their gaze over your form as if they want to eat you for breakfast.

“Not wanna include me in this plan?”, you ask, though you’re secretly enjoying being left entirely in the dark, your breathy voice already a dead giveaway of that. 

“That would ruin the surprise, Sunshine.”. Poe’s voice is gruff when he responds, swivelling a final time and rolling himself entirely on top of you, his arms pushing his torso up but his hips dipping to meet yours. The sight and feel of him on top of you is something else. What’s more, he’s looking at you like he can’t quite believe he has you under him.

Poe bends at the elbow then to lazily kiss you, his tongue meticulously exploring your mouth until he has you riled up enough that you moan at the loss when he breaks for air. Until you feel more starved than when he had begun, lust begetting lust.

“Hmm, I want more moans like that from you, honey.”, Poe coos, his eyes flicking devilishly over to Finn at that moment. “What do you think, Finn? I’d say it’s someone else’s turn to be in the middle of the sandwich.”

“I like your thinking, Commander.” Finn agrees, and as they both converge on you you’re not quite sure what you’ve let yourself in for. But ohhh boyyy, you have a good feeling about it.

“Do your worst.”, you encourage, echoing Poe’s line from the evening before, with the full knowledge of how well things ended for him.

You welcome Poe with your whole body as he shifts to trail his tongue and his mouth all the way down your chest and stomach, until his lips come to settle on your arousal. You moan for him again, before he’s even done very much, but you almost lose it when he moves aside so that Finn’s lips can join him there too.

You buck your hips as a mess of sensations and textures greet you, from Poe’s harsh stubble and soft, loose curls to Finn’s smooth lips and tightly coiled raven hair brushing against your thighs and stomach. Then suddenly, everything is wet, winding tongues and lips, slippery and insistent, and your hips rising up to the sky as if you might reach lift-off without any ship.  

As the sensations and their mouths and their moans flow over you, you think you must still be dreaming as well. But as the same time, you think you have never felt more awake to life than you do right now.

Things progress very pleasingly from there, and the three of you aren’t spotted around base all day, besides one singular, rumoured sighting of a particular Commander raiding the ration cupboard in his pyjamas. Word is, he cleared out all of the deserts and energy drinks - which he’d be made to pay for later, no doubt. It wasn’t as if the Resistance was flush with resources.

There’s also a rumour that the Commander’s seen collecting his flight suit holsters from his quarters, but few dare to talk about that too much for fear that they’ll invoke your wrath. You’re sort of terrifying, after all.

Safe to say, everyone on base has a pretty good idea what you’re all getting up to together. And if they don’t, Bb-8 does a grand job of warning people away from the rec room.

However, it doesn’t surprise anyone who hears the rumours that you all have enough love to go around. Sometimes, it is three thirds which make a whole. No matter the fractions, the love is no less complete.

Ever since you’d met, it was pretty clear the three of you were indivisible.

Together you are the moon, the sun, and the stars, and now that you have found each other, your love can only multiply from here, like the galaxy, expanding forever outward. Always creating more room for more love.

If anyone could believe that the galaxy has no limits, it’s for sure the three of you. The three people who charge through the skies and seek out the greater good. Who fight for it with all of their hearts, without restriction. Whose hearts keep growing and growing because they always let the good things in, even when darkness tries to shrink them. Love begets love, as well.

By the time you emerge from your rec room, Leia has already ordered someone to sort you out shared quarters, should you request it. And, unbeknownst to you all, the General has called “dibs” on officiating at the wedding, which she’s pretty sure is inevitable.

She doesn’t know for sure, of course. She simply has a good feeling. Now that she knows you’re together, something just clicks, and she can’t imagine the three of you being apart. She can’t remember that you ever were. No; you were simply planets in orbit, waiting for the moment of your convergence as you traversed your trajectories through space. And that moment is now.

The timing? It’s perfect. 

You are indivisible; incapable of being divided.

Togetherness is all there is. Togetherness is what can save the galaxy, one heart at a time.

You know with certainty that you are his. And his. And that you all belong to each other.

THE END

Permanent tag-list:

@adventurous-nerd, @starryeyedstories @wheresthewater, @tonightletspretend, @gooddaykate, @mrscrain-x7, @iamthe-shadow-on-the-wall, @mndalorians, @multifandomlife22, @theindiealto, @maximoffzinha, @darksideofclarke, @gottenintomybloodstream, @hkmultifandom. @spider-starry, @loxxiepenguins, @itsamedeemoney, @yougottakeeponkeepinon, @thottiewinemom, @taina-eny, @arkofblake, @holybatflapexpert, @khood84, @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol, @gennyanydots, @shakespeareanwannabe, @fanfiction-trashpile, @hollymac79, @brooklynsblurbs, @tammythompson-singslikea-muppet, @takenbymyfandoms, @galacticnerd-78, @starwarswh0re, @imaginecrushes, @twomoonstwosuns, @leahsafae, @thirsty-flygirl, @woakiees, @himbopoes, @damnyoudameron, @galaxy-of-stories, @bluengreyfox, @thescarletknight2014, @pandora-evermore, @el-lizzie @atletino @mylifeliterally @starlightstories

[thesaltyoceanwaves]

"I Did It For Love” or the failings of Teamwork in S3 (a snippet of a rant thing I never finished but felt like sharing anyway)

For context, when I mention “another” theme: my argument is that the main theme of the season is “growth/decay/change in general,” with Stormy Weather 2 meant to serve as the thesis episode of the season. Obviously, it fails in this matter, but that’s besides the point of this particular section. This section is tentatively called “I Did It For Love” and was mostly completed, but there are probably a few things missing to really make the point.

I hate GabeNath. There, I said it. Before, I simply just didn’t care about either one of them, but now, after hijacking episodes that should have focused on other characters, I hate them.

However. Their relationship is clearly meant to parallel the one between Ladybug and Chat Noir, and also suggests the presence of another theme (or subtheme?) that we should talk about. And that’s the theme of teamwork and synchronicity.

Going back to “Reflekdoll,” for a moment, we see that Mayura decides to assist Hawkmoth in the field by creating a sentimonster to compliment his akuma. Meanwhile, Misterbug and LadyNoire are at the disadvantage of using different powers. And while LadyNoire has no problems with her powers, she still takes on the majority of work while Misterbug struggles. Clearly, the villains are much more in sync with one another than our heroes, and that’s likely because their goals align very well with each other. Gabriel wants his wife back, and Nathalie is willing to do whatever it takes to make him happy.

This still plays into our first theme, however, because Nathalie is undertaking something that physically changes her for the worst - she becomes weaker and sicker with each passing use of the peacock miraculous.

Our heroes, on the other hand, don’t seem to have goals that compliment each other very well. Ladybug’s focus is keeping the city safe, mastering the miraculous and wisdom of being a Guardian, stopping Hawkmoth, and balancing it all out with her civilian life, namely her feelings for Adrien and her goal to enter the fashion industry. Chat Noir, meanwhile, seems to care more about getting Ladybug to date him and using his powers to have fun and be free from his life as Adrien.

This can be best seen in “Weredad” where he decides that flirting with Ladybug, while she’s trying to hold back a giant baby from attacking civilians, is better than actually trying to help her.

Or in “Oblivio,” where it’s revealed that prior to getting hit, the two of them were struggling, with Ladybug proclaiming that they aren’t a couple while defending both of them (with the assumption being that it was because of Chat fooling around, they even got hit in the first place).

And at the end of that episode, when they both have very different reactions to Alya’s photo, Chat never stops to consider how Ladybug might feel about her privacy being invaded like that.

This extends to their civilian selves as well. Most episodes focus on Marinette going out of her way to make a “moment” happen between her and Adrien, generally making the entire experience as embarrassing and humiliating as possible. She’s rewarded with a brief glance or a few kind words at best, before Adrien is dragged away by who or whatever the narrative inconvenience of the day is and forgets the whole thing. The notable exceptions to this are “Startrain,” and “Silencer,” the latter of which barely has Adrien appear and doesn’t even have Marinette think about him once. Marinette only seems to matter to Adrien when she’s there, meanwhile, Adrien matters quite a lot to Marinette.

The biggest indicator of this problem though has to be “Chameleon,” where Marinette wants to expose Lila’s lies, but Adrien insists that doing so won’t make Lila turn into a good guy and will only risk her getting akumatized again. They essentially go against the message of the Origins two-parter for the sake of stirring up season long drama, that’s essentially resolved in the most unsatisfying way.

[kats-baku1999]

Little Lies

Shoto Todoroki x fem! Reader

regular high school AU, no quirks, and shoto is an asshole. lots of angsty shit, going to be like a three parter, and yes there will be some dirty stuff 🤭

Todoroki’s life was looked at to be glamorous thanks to his father’s celebrity status, and thanks to their money. Really though, he felt like he had it all. His fourth year of high school was going to be a breeze, or so he thought.

————reader pov————

Ochako and I sat in her room listening to music as we prepared for school the next day. Summer holidays always seemed to go by way too fast for my liking but at the same time I was excited to get back to school. Get back to my normal life routine, and besides this was the last year before we all left for University.

“Do you think this will be the year Deku finally asks me to be his girlfriend?” Ochacko sighed as she laid out her outfit for the next day.

“I mean, no offense but I don’t think so,” I glanced up from my phone to see a look of sheer panic across her face, “it’s nothing against you, it’s just Deku isn’t like the guys he hangs out with.”

“I still can’t believe he and Bakugo are friends, they are polar opposites.” Ochako sighed, her and Bakugo had this weird competive thing about them. Something about how Ochako felt as thought Bakugo doubted her abilities. I couldn’t judge her though, I had the same thing with Todoroki.

“I can’t believe he willingly hangs out with Todoroki, he really isn’t worth being friends with.” I mumbled and Ochako let out a bit of a giggle.

Todoroki Shoto and I were anything but friends. His arrogant personality that shined through when cameras weren’t watching. He and Momo were UA highs “power couple” and probably some of the most hated and loved people there. Almost everyone idolized them, which made no sense to me.

My feud was mostly with Todoroki though, after all HE was the one who absolutely mortified me our first year of high school. Back then I was the new transfer girl, and like everyone else I was in awe of the “big three”... Katsuki Bakugo, Izuku Midoriya, and Shoto Todoroki. They were top of our class and each of them were cute. It made sense to me as to why everyone did nothing but talk about them. The first time I talked to Todoroki though, he pretended to be nice to me just so Momo would get jealous. She then proceeded to belittle me in front of everyone.

That little mishap is how I became such close friends with Ochako, and Kirishima. Each of them did nothing but drool over both Bakugo and Midoriya though. Which I guess the two of them weren’t bad, it was just their friendship with Todoroki who did nothing but laugh while his girlfriend yelled at me. From then on out we usually did our best to avoid each other, meanwhile his girlfriend found every moment to call me a homewrecker.

“Speaking of Todoroki, did you hear about his break up with Momo?” Ochako looked at me, and I just shook my head, “I figured Kiri would have mentioned it, but yeah he caught her cheating with Sero from our fifth period class last year.”

I let out a loud laugh that soon turned into an all out laughing fit. So the girl who called me a homewrecker, wrecked her own home?

“I’m not saying he deserves it, but he definitely needed to be humbled a little bit.” I defended to Ochako who was giving me a look of disappointment.

“(Y/n) maybe he really isn’t that bad, you know Kirishima wants to start hanging out with them more because of Bakugo, so please try to be nice for both of our sakes,” Ochako’s voice was stern but her eyes were puppy dog eyes.

“Fine, but I won’t enjoy it.” I huffed and crossed my arms.

==========Todoroki pov==========

I stood at my locker putting all of my new essentials away, for some reason Touya believed I needed at least six notebooks for four classes.

“Hey, half and half!” I heard Bakugo yell and I turned around to look at him. He was walking down the hall holding hands with his new boyfriend, Kirishima. Kirishima was a cool dude, but he was also friends with that loud mouth (y/n). I guess she wasn’t so bad, she mostly had problems with Momo.

“I’ll talk to you later Katsuki.” Kirishima looked at me and smiled and then quickly walked down the hallway, probably going to look for his friend to tell her he saw the devil.

“So you and big red Huh?” I looked at Bakugo who smirked, looking down the hall at his boyfriend.

“He has a lot of big aspects, but that’s not the point,” Bakugo pointed over to Sero and Momo who were disgustingly close and making out against her locker, “When are we kicking that nerds ass?”

“We aren’t, I was bored of her anyway, I could get any other girl anyways.” I shrugged and went back to my locker.

“Any girl?” Bakugo laughed and I shot him a dirty look.

“Yes, you see the way they all practically melt for me, any girl.”

“Fine, I bet you 200 you can’t pull (y/n).” Bakugo chuckled and pointed down the hall to the girl who was now hugging Kirishima. Her (y/h/c) hair had grown out a bit over the holidays, and had a few miscellaneous braids throughout it right now. Even I had to admit she was looking.. good.

“What happened to her over the summer?” I looked at Bakugo and he just shrugged.

“(Y/n) has always been hot, but it’s like she just hit puberty again, Kirishima said she’s gained a lot of confidence too so you taking the bet?” Bakugo nudged me and I just rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, give me till winter holiday, and by then I’ll have her wrapped around my finger,” I laughed.

“Have who wrapped around your finger?” We both jumped when Izuku snuck up on us, and I just smiled at my best friend, knowing he wouldn’t approve of this little game.

“Nothing Izu, what happened man I didn’t hear from you all summer?” I changed the subject pretty quick, knowing that Izuku wouldn’t be a fan of the game that Bakugo and I were playing.

••••••••••••

By the time our lunch hour came around I was ready for the day to just be over with. There was no point in my first two classes of the day, they were all pretty basic stuff that I already knew. (Y/n) was in my first period though, and I couldn’t help but look at her throughout the class. She really had gotten prettier, more mature. I guess I never noticed how attractive her style really was because of Momo.

“Todoroki! Over here!” Izuku yelled and I looked to see him, bakugo, Kirishima, Ochako, and (y/n) all sitting at a table.

Perfect opportunity.

I took the seat right next to (y/n) and smiled at her while she gave me a look mixed with shock and annoyance.

“Hey guys, I didn’t realize you’d be joining us now?” I smiled politely and scooted a little closer to (y/n), she continued to just stare at me with a look of annoyance.

“Hi Todoroki! Bakugo invited all of us to sit with you guys, so he could see Kiri more.” The girl, Ochako, gushed. Izuku was super tense and looked like he was about to pass out. Probably thanks to his crush on her. The good thing about Ochako obviously liking him back was the fact she liked him way before he “built up”.. Everyone but Midoriya could see that. He always played it off that she was just being nice.

“Very nice, I guess this gives me the opportunity, hey (y/n) can I ask a favor?” I turned my head to look at her, and realized how close we actually were. She really was gorgeous.

“What?” Her answer was short, and she seemed slightly angry.

“Do you think you could help me out with Mr. Aizawa’s class this semester?” I said politely despite the obvious attitude in her voice.

“It’s the first day, how do you know I don’t suck at the class too?” (Y/n) was a bit snippy, but I just shrugged.

“You’ve always been so smart, I just figured you would have this down to a T, but if you don’t then that’s fine.” I put my hands up in defense.

(Y/n) stared at me for a second before looking across at Kirishima who was giving her a stern look. She let out a huff of air.

“Fine, I’ll help you when you need it, it is a hard class.” (Y/n) mumbled before she went back to picking at her food.

————————third person pov———————

things are about to get a bit hot and heavy... also time jump :)

(Y/n) and Todoroki had begun spending a lot of time together when it came to her helping him with their shared class. Even though Todoroki didn’t actually need help with the class. This was just his way to win that bet with Bakugo. Still though he found himself thinking about Momo less and less the more time he spent with (y/n). He had also grown to enjoy her laugh, when he could get her to laugh. She still was keeping her guard up with him. Tonight though, the two of them decided to hang out while the other four went on a double date. Midoriya had finally asked Ochako out, and that left Todoroki and (y/n) the only single ones in their new friend group.

“So tell me (y/n), if you had to choose anyone in our class to be with who would you choose?” Todoroki asked (y/n) and her cheeks instantly went red.

“Who said I even pay attention to anyone in our class?” (Y/n)‘s cheeks were practically steaming from how much they were burn. Of course she had been paying attention to someone, how could she not look at Todoroki? Things had been different over the past few weeks. They were almost friends, and (y/n) couldn’t help but find herself wondering if his half red and half white hair was as soft as it looked...

“(Y/n)?” Todoroki whispered as (y/n) subconsciously reached her hand up to touch the hair that hung down over his teal eye, the one that had the scar that everyone whispered about. Someone had once remarked that it was ugly, but even back then (y/n) couldn’t deny that it was beautiful on him.

“I- I’m sorry,” (y/n) pulled her hand away but Todoroki grabbed it and intertwined their fingers.

He began leaning into her, his face dangerously close to hers. His minty breath washed over her face and she found herself slightly beginning to panic.

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Todoroki whispered but (y/n) shook her head, bringing her free hand to the side of his face that held his brown eye.

The two just sat and looked at each other for a moment before Todoroki finally closed the gap. (Y/n) was expecting him to be an expert at what he did but instead he seemed a little nervous. Their lips were clumsy against one another, and Todoroki just lightly touched (y/n)’s hip. It was as if he was scared of breaking her, as if he’s never done this before.

“Todoroki, are you okay?” (Y/n) pulled back and whispered against his lips.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Todoroki whispered and (y/n) nodded her head quickly, “I have never been intimate with someone, I’ve never-”

“No, no I haven’t either, I mean I made out with Kaminari at a party once but that’s about all I know,” (y/n) looked at Todoroki for a second before finally raising her eyebrow, “so you’re telling me that you never even made out with Momo?”

“No, her and I were really only just for show to please my father.” Todoroki admitted, and (y/n) felt a bit of shock wash over her.

“Do you want to stop?” (Y/n) whispered but was quickly answered with Todoroki’s lips against hers again. This time a little more heated, and this time not as gentle. Still just as clumsy but even more of a turn on for (y/n).

She quickly changed the position and climbed on his lap, grinding herself against the bulge in his pants. They both let out moans into the kiss, as (y/n) continued to grind herself against him. Eventually Todoroki found his way to kissing her neck, nipping at her every once in awhile causing her to let out another moan. Nervous hands travelled over each other’s body.

Todoroki found his way to the bottom of her skirt, before pulling it up slightly. (Y/n) felt her breath hitch as Todoroki found his way to the wet part of her panties, as he began rubbing against her sensitive nub through the thin cloth. (Y/n) let out a fit of whimpers and moans as she pushed herself even more into his fingers.

“Are you okay with this?” Todoroki whispered, slowly down his motions to pull her panties to the side.

“Yes, yes please don’t stop.” (Y/n) practically begged, and Todoroki complied to what she said. His fingers found their way to the sensitive nub again, only for a split second before they dipped down to her entrance. (Y/n) pushed against his fingers one more time before he finally slid them in. Todoroki let out a small moan at how soft she felt, as he imagined what other parts of him would feel like rubbing against her. He started off with small and soft movements, watching in awe as (y/n) leaned her head back in a fit of moans. She really was gorgeous to him. Todoroki began moving his fingers a little faster, watching as she began to crumble with each motion.

“Shoto, please I-”

“Let go (y/n), let it all out.” Todoroki mumbled as she pulled him into another kiss. His fingers began pumping faster inside of her as she practically began to scream against his lips. Todoroki groaned at the friction that began to be caused by her hips bucking against his buldge.

“Hey you guy- HOLY FUCK!” Bakugo yelled causing the two to break apart immediately. (Y/n) turned her head to see Bakugo, Kirishima, Midoriya, and Ochako all standing in the door way. Kirishima was laughing his ass off at Bakugo who seemed like he was about to cry. Both Ochako and Midoriya seemed to be embarrassed.

“So this is what studying means?” Kirishima laughed even louder at his friend who’s face was bright red as she scrambled off the very annoyed looking boy. Todoroki threw a book at all of them.

“All of you, out, now!” He snapped and they all stepped out of the room with their hands up in defense.

“Oh my- I have to move schools now, hell I should probably just move countries, fuck-”

“(Y/n) breathe, it’s okay, we are okay now, I’m sorry I should have never-”

“No what we did was okay, I Uh, I liked it-” (y/n) looked at Todoroki with hopeful eyes, that made her look entirely too innocent for his liking. He stepped closer to her and pulled her into another kiss, this one soft and gentle.

“I liked it too.” Todoroki whispered against her lips.

••••••••••••

that’s it for part one !! i will be updating this story within the next few days. thanks you guys ♥️

[kagamilole]

Chloe's Season of Redemption?

Season 3 had passed the middle point and now is time for us to try and get what the theme of this season is... and you can see the title about what I think: Chloe is about to be fully redeemed. As you all know, Chloe is a bratty, selfabsorbed girl with the most gigantic ego in the entire area and she's just as blind to everything as the others in the town, if not even more so... hell, it wasn't until Animaestro that she realized Marinette liked Adrien, meaning her previous actions against Mari were not even out of competition by his affection, but either Mari was just getting in the way of her own approach to him or because Mari was in the way of something else she wanted. And yes, a lot of what Chloe did to mari back in Season 1 could now be traced to Lila in season 3, making her more of a downgraded villain for the series who some think may come back for the finale... However, she's also aware of her shortcomings, aware of how lonely she actually is, with only two real friends in the world (Sabrina and Adrien) with a mother she fails to connect with and the fact she's pursuing fame and recognition... all things that Mari accidentally got in the way of. And all this leads me to the reasons I think Chloe is heading to a Heel-Face Turn that was not yet fully realized.

1) Miracle Queen may be Chloe's last villain role. As we all know, the season will end in a two parter named "Battle of the Miraculous" which would compose of Loveater (Chloe's parents akumatized in a cerberus-like creature) and Miracle Queen (Chloe akumatized for the final part on Hawkmoth's plan), thus making it prettu Bourgeois-centric. This may actually lead to Marinette and Chloe facing up their weakest points, as now Hawkmoth will go all in. Marinette and Adrien have no idea what they will face (though given the leaks' production codes, Dragon Bug and Snake Noir are slated to appear in this episode, so we know it's gonna be painful) but Chloe... what may happen to her? Lot's of things may happen this episode, I can't wait for the series to keeop on going.

2) Chloe still has (feint) moral anchors. A lot of people forgot that the reason why she was let go from being Queen Bee was not because of Chloe's attitude, but because, as everyone knows her identity, she's in risk of being targeted for akumas. And even after being told that, she knew that, in the eyes of Ladybug, she's still worthy of the Miraculous. I mean, it's likely that what happens in Feast (Summary said Master fu will tak the Miraculouses from Mari and Adrien) will address the thing of "taking out of action for your own protection", which we dunno how will they address it. I mean, they tried to address the reasons for not only keeping their identities from the world but also from each other in "Mayura" by showing it with Chloe and Alya and Nino respectively... but the first point falls flat because what beat Chloe was not her family akumatized again, but that she was blindsided from fighting THREE VILLAINS and she was winning until she got tricked out of the picture; the second point fell flat because the couple thing would had actually saved them (Nino only had to kiss Alya and MARI KNEW THAT) but also because not knowing Ladybug's identity didn't save him from sacrificing himself over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN GODDANGIT!! Back to the point is that... yeah, Adrien and Ladybug are still high in her moral compass and she still can hold herself through that. She's not like Lila in that aspect. Hell, she still has the willpower to fend off an Akuma and "de-evilize" herself, something no one could do before, even if trying (granted, she wasn't evilized yet, but he was unable to even get there... THAT is awesome).

3) Chloe, as Queen Bee, is not a bad fighter. Granted, she can't fight against the more expert villains like Mayura/Natalie and her performance is hindered for her spotlight hunger, but she does have fighting ability, as she was able to hold her ground against two strong villains until she was blindsided by a very tricky and not easy to fight villain (Seriously, Queen Bee vs. Akumatized Bourgeois was a mismatch, no matter who was wielding the Bee Miraculous... also, with the low size, fighting Despair Bear is like fighting Oddjob in Goldeneye 007 for the N64.,.. gamers out there must know what I mean). She was able to stand her ground and got taken down by a lucky accident. Yes, she tends to leap before acting, but so does Chat Noir, whose only advantage is being stronger than Queen Bee physically and the time he got on the streets compared to Chloe (either 1 or 2 years depending on what Thomas and crew have to say about a question on the Ladyblog). Chloe, with a bit more time, can probably be as good as Mari... which takes me to the last, most controversial point.

4) Marinette and Chloe are NOT opposites, nor they are all that different. A lot of people mentions that Chloe is Mari's antagonist and antithesis, that Mari is someone totally different to Chloe... but nope, she's not. At all. A lot of people are willing to point out how many people did Chloe akumatize, almost even akumatizing Marinette... Marinette actually caused the akumatization of several people as well, including Chloe herself. TWICE. Yes, she is the reason she became Antibug AND Queen Wasp (the problem of Queen Wasp began with Chloe becoming Queen Bee... which was Mari's fault, and so was the conflict that led to the akumatization). Mari was also the reason Alya was akumatized, as well as Max, Lila, Thomas Astruc... partially, she was involved in Miss Bustier's akumatization. And using her powers to her benefit? She did that to call off Lila's lies to Adrien, leading to her own Akumatization. Chloe's abuse of her powers? Led to HER OWN Akumatization mostly. And, I must remember you all, MARI WILLINGLY TEAMED UP WITH CHLOE TO TAKE ON KAGAMI OUT OF JEALOUSY! And yes, she was kind of against the plan of ridiculing Kagami... but she still went through it, even making her own moves that Chloe did not plan. Yeah, Mari and Chloe have several things in common: Talent (Chloe knows ballet and is a good dancer, and let's not forget she may have building talent), both have their share of jealousy (and you'll be pressed to find out who's the bigger "Green-Eyed Monster"), both have a strong will that can fend off evil (That's... oddly specific, I must say), both have heroic hearts, if their reasons are different... hell, I wonder how would be a world in which Chloe is the daughter of two bread makers and Mari is the daughter of the Mayor of Paris...

So... yeah, that's my theory: Chloe was never meant to be auto-redeemed as Queen Bee and may be redeemed as Miracle Queen.

[archived-brokentoys]

@kldblodiige​ asked:

🔥 your opinion about The R!ddler in live action adaptations

IT’S UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME ! / ACCEPTING !

MOST OF THEM ARE BAD. 🙊 I’ll just begin by talking about each Ed in each live adaptation...

Let’s start off with the first! Frank’s from the 60s! This one ISN’T bad. Which might come as a surprise, because I’m always the salty motherfucker who complains about Ed’s character being portrayed as too much of a joke. But it didn’t matter that he was portrayed silly in this show... because so was everyone else! It didn’t feel like Ed’s character was the butt of the joke, because EVERYONE WAS! Therefore, his character felt just as respected as the others’. Now this obviously isn’t my favorite portrayal of Ed... even if I do take some fun inspirations from it, it’s... not exactly how I picture Ed. BUT. Frank was a fun actor, and not only that... but he practically saved Ed’s character. Ed made his debut in the comics in 1948. Then... after the two-parter, his character literally faded into obscurity, never to be seen again. UNTIL. The 60s! Because the 60s show decided to use the R!ddler. Then... suddenly Ed was beloved again! People adored Frank’s portrayal of the character! It caused Ed to return to the comics. So, yes. Even if people may not like Frank’s portrayal because of how silly it could be. I think he still deserves the respect nonetheless. I feel if it wasn’t for him... right now, would’ve been looking back at Ed as that weird one time character, and he would’ve never played such a big role with the rogues. So, I’m certainly thankful for Frank’s portrayal!

Now time for Jimbo’s portrayal in Forever. I... I don’t like it! I’ve noticed a lot of people are starting to find a new appreciation for it, especially Tumblr. Which I can understand, seeing that he was queer-coded, and Jim fans might appreciate it. But my problem with this portrayal is that... he’s just another Jim character. He didn’t feel like a R!ddler character, but instead a Jim C character. He said his portrayal was based on Frank’s... which I have two problems with 1) every Jim character is wacky, and watching this? It still felt more like a Jim portrayal than a Frank portrayal. 2) Again, Frank was more of a product of his name. At this point, we’ve kinda evolved away from that. Now, I’m not saying we can’t have no more fun B/atman related things. Brave & the Bold is still fun, as well as anything based on the 60s show. But the movies were known for being more grim/dark. So, it’s kinda weird to have such a silly character... (Harvey was also portrayed as wackier, too.) for a sequel. I also feel Jim is the anti-Frank for R!ddler as well. While Frank popularized and revived Ed’s character, I honestly feel Jim killed it. I just feel there was a drop in Ed’s popularity after Jim’s portrayal and the failure of Forever. So, I can’t really enjoy Jim’s portrayal, just because to me... it doesn’t FEEL like Ed. 

Also, I get turned off by any portrayal that depicts Ed as a SCIENTIST. I know this is a... weird pet peeve of mine. But it feels like such UNCREATIVE writing. Like the writers are just sitting there thinking, “okay... this character is SUPER SMART... but how would people know he’s a GENIUS?? Oh! I know! Make him a SCIENTIST!” So many media opts to make the genius a scientist. Even tho it’s like... not every smart person becomes a scientist lol! This is why I appreciate Ed’s “backstory” in Nu52, Ark verse, and Animated Series... because they all involve computers or programming. I feel that’s much more fitting for Ed, AND it’s also a way to show that he’s smart without making him a scientist!

G0tham Ed also bad. I can’t FULLY judge because I never watched G0tham. But from what I’ve heard... it’s just a big can of YIKES for me. Just because I’ve heard far too many bad things about it. Such as apparent homophobia, and again... I feel they’re more concerned about portraying him as a zany/quirky crazy rather than actually mentally ill. Again, I didn’t appreciate that, as far as I heard, he doesn’t have OCD? Just because I felt OCD is a big part of Ed’s character, and who he is. I can say one nice thing about G0tham Ed, and that’s his design/look. Although I don’t believe Michael is the perfect Ed looks wise... (but that’s understandable, it’s difficult to find an actor who looks exactly like the character.) While I probably prefer Frank’s suit more (I really like the question marks!) But Frank was more often in the um... can’t really call it spandex, because the outfit was made of cloth. But he was in those classic PJs more times in the show than he was in the suit. And as always, I prefer Ed with glasses over the domino mask or no eyewear at all. I also like the black leather gloves.

And finally... the new movie. I hate, hate, HATE this design. But I’m not really sure if that’s an unpopular opinion? As I honestly don’t know how every one else feels about it! I don’t often see many other R!ddler fans talking about it. Anyways, this just doesn’t feel or look like Ed at all. I don’t feel Ed’s STYLE or CHARACTER when I look at it. I also think out of all the actors Ed’s gotten, Paul looks... the least like Ed. But... other than not liking the design. I can’t say anything about his actual character because it’s too soon for that! The trailer made me feel he might be portrayed correctly! I loved the “NO MORE LIES” thing in it. It feels like this could be an Ed I always wanted to see more of) one of anarchy and believes he’s going up against the corrupt government/police force of G0tham. And also perhaps one that doesn’t like to lie... but again, we won’t fully know until the movie’s out!

(Also is it me, or does the “books” in the background looks like they’re PlayStation 2 games? I’m fairly certain I see Star Wars: Battlefront back there.)

[elevenharringtons]

Babysitting El pt. 1

Pairing: None (but leading into a bit of Steve x Reader) 

Summary: Hopper, exasperated by having to deal with monsters invading Hawkins and having a teenage girl, has asked you to come babysit while he investigates for the night. Max shows up (unannounced, to you at least) and proposes a mall day to cheer everyone up. However, things don’t go as planned, and you find yourself an accomplice to Mike and El’s breakup. 

Warnings: Profanity

Word Count: 3.3k

This is a two-parter! This part is based on El and Max’s shopping trip. It’s not exact, considering El was the one to seek Max out, but nonetheless, you’ll read some familiar scenarios. Just some good ol’ girl time and bonding over stupid boys. Part Two should be out sooner rather than later, considering all the time that has suddenly found itself on my doorstep. Stay safe out there, y’all. 

***UPDATE: There will be a taglist for the second part, so if you’d like to be on it, let me know! 

“I’ll be there.”

“If that Wheeler kid shows up here one more time-“

“Calm down! She’s a young woman now, she’s doing what she’s supposed to be doing” you say, twirling the yellowed telephone cable between your fingers. This is the third time this week that your uncle has called you upset that El was dating the second youngest Wheeler. Hopper hadn’t necessarily been on good terms with Mike, considering he found ways around Hopper’s rules, especially rules that were crafted for Eleven’s safety. Grumbling ensues on the other line.

“What time are you going to be here?”

“8 o’clock,” you reply almost confidently.

“Sharp?”

“8 o’clock...ish?” Hopper was good at seeing through your facades. Your mother was a pro at being fashionably late to things, a habit that you’re not too happy that you picked up. “You know it takes at least 15 minutes to get back to Hawkins, and then at least another 20 to remember which turn into the woods I have to take to find your cabin-“

“Save it. Just...promise me you’ll take care of this?” Hopper pleaded. You could hear someone rapping on the door in the background and assumed it was Mike trying to get back in to see El.

“I’ll do what I can. Bye, Uncle Hop.” You hear indistinct chatter on the line before it cuts to a dial tone and chuckle to yourself, continuing to pack a small overnight bag full of clothes and other essentials needed to ‘babysit’ Eleven. Hopper had to deal with a special assignment that you had specifically chosen not to ask him about, knowing it must be a continuation of the strange events that kept happening in Hawkins the past two years. Your mission was to stay with El until Hopper returned, however, now that El was a teenager, that was no easy task. Boys, best friends, and fighting intergalactic monsters had El in more directions than you remember when you were her age. Then again, you didn’t have to deal with the intergalactic monster part.

The morning drive wasn’t as bad as you thought it was going to be. Surprisingly, you remembered exactly where to turn into the woods to find Hopper’s cabin. The ground was wet from a rain storm the night before as you tried your best to maneuver your mom’s old Buick through the slippery terrain. El was standing outside on Hopper’s porch, her eyes lighting up for a quick second before diminishing again. She turned and headed back inside the cabin before you had the chance to get out of the car. Hopper met you at the door.

“What’s her deal?” You ask, closing the car door and moving to the trunk to grab your backpack.

“I, uh, may have had a hand in that,” Hopper replied.

“What’d you do”

“Joyce told me to have a talk with her and Mike, but instead, I told Mike that his grandmother was sick and that he should go be with her instead of with El,” Hopper couldn’t meet your stare. You laughed out loud.

“Seriously, Uncle Hop?”

“She doesn’t know!”

“And what made you think that was a good idea? What advice did Joyce give you that made you do that? Couldn’t have been that bad, it’s Joyce!” You’re leaning against the car door, arms crossed over your chest. You weren’t letting your uncle off that easy before he left you with a moody teenager.

“She just said to set some ground rules, to talk to them,”

“The three inch rule?” You quip.

“Well, El doesn’t always adhere to the three inch rule, that’s why I had to do something about it,” Hopper replied.

“So telling Mike Wheeler that his grandmother was sick even though she isn’t is how you’re handling this?”

“Why do you think you’re here?”

“Oh, so I’m the diffusion? She needs to be a teenager, Uncle Hop! Explore! Kiss a guy! Kiss a girl if she wants to! Fall in love! Get her heart broken! You were a teenager once, weren’t you?” You say. Out of the corner of your eye, El reappeared on the porch.

“Y/N?”

“Hi, El!” You smile and wave as El does the same. Hopper runs his hand over his face before leading you to the cabin. He grumbles under his breath as you walk.

“Look, just make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid. No one can find her out here, it’s dangerous.”

“I’ve got it under control, Hopper. She won’t leave my sight,” You assure him as you walk up the stairs to wrap El in a hug. Hopper watched as the both of you headed inside the cabin before starting his truck up and driving away.

“So, Hopper has you on some…guidelines, huh?” You say once the door is closed, taking in the cabin. It wasn’t as messy as you would have guessed it to be, definitely not like the lake house that you had practically grown up in. You put your bag down on Hopper’s armchair before leaning against the couch, watching El as she paced around.

“Guidelines?” She asked.

“Oh, um, rules. Like how he won’t let you out past a certain hour?”

“Or how he doesn’t let Mike over,” El nervously played with her hands. She was still pacing, clearly worried that Mike had abandoned her.

“Hey,” you say softly. “He doesn’t hate Mike, you know? He just…isn’t ready for you to grow up yet.” El was trying to take in what you were saying, but a knock was at the door causing the both of you to jump. El looks to you for permission to open the door, which you grant. She gets up and crosses to the door, standing on tip toes to peer into the peephole.

“It’s Max,” El says, almost disappointed.

“You can let her in,” you say. The door swings open to reveal the fiery red head, who doesn’t stay outside long.

“Lucas dropped all of our plans today for some family thing he forgot last minute,” she says. “So I told him that we were on a break.”

“A break?” El asks.

“Yeah. Like not a break up but you want to break up? Kind of?” Max says. You stare wide eyed at the two of them.

“I’m sorry, you told Lucas you wanted to take a break because he had to do something with his family?” You ask.

“Look, he pulls this last minute shit all the time. He’s probably at home playing with his stupid walkie talkie or at Mike’s. It’s better to take a minute to show him that I’m mad by taking a break than to dump his ass altogether,” she plops herself into Hopper’s armchair and right on top of your stuff without missing a beat. El sits stiffly beside you on the couch.

“Mike’s grandmother is sick, so he’s probably not at Mike’s,” you say, trying to go along with Hopper’s false narrative as truthfully as you could. Max rolls her eyes.

“Sounds like some last minute bullshit to me.”

“Last minute,” El says thoughtfully. “Mike didn’t call this morning.”

“Then dump his ass,” Max says matter-of-factly. “He keeps you on the line way too much for you to keep putting up with that.”

“I don’t think it’s Mike’s fault,” you say under your breath. Max doesn’t hear you.

“Dump his ass?” El questions.

“He’s obviously hiding something from you. Don’t put up with it,” Max shrugs.

“Nobody’s dumping anyone. Look, you can’t just break someone’s heart because they can’t do something with you,” you say. You may not have a lot of experience in the dating department,  but you also could recognize human mistakes from lies. Plus, you had your uncle’s fake storyline standing over your shoulder, so it was best that El not make any hasty decisions.

“I’m just saying, El, you could do a lot better,” Max says. “In the meantime, though, we should give you a makeover and show him what he’s missing. Let’s go to the mall!”

“Whoa, El’s not allowed out. You know that,” you say, standing now between El and Max’s line of vision.

“Hopper’s not here is he? Plus, you’re here. Nothing bad can happen if you’re with us,” Max retorts. She had a point. Having an adult around two teenagers in a mall cramped their style, automatically making them less of a target to the bad guys. Right?

“Technically, I’m not supposed to have you here,” you reply. Max rolled her eyes.

“Y/N, can we please go to the mall?” El asks. Her shimmering brown eyes are enough to make you cave. She knew just how to push your buttons.

“Fine,” you say, “but you guys can’t leave my sight.”

“Deal,” Max and El say together as they race outside to your car.

“I said don’t leave my sight!” You yell, running after them. How bad could this be?

**********

Two hours later and you’ve become the stereotypical pack-mule “boyfriend” to your two teenaged counterparts. Max had insisted El buy a new wardrobe to make Mike jealous, so her muddied shoes and ragged plaid shirt were stuffed in a tiny bag from The Gap while Max made El try on several brightly colored combos. Then, El wanted Glamour Shots, so you watched as her and Max put on oversized pearls and lavish feathered hats, posing ridiculously for the camera. You’d bought each of them a keychain sized version of their favorite picture, adding another bag to your hand. Max had careened into JC Penney without your knowledge, taking El with her through the winding racks of aerobics wear and puffy jacket vests. You managed to find them, though, because Max was trying on bright red sunglasses in the mirrors right next to the entrance.

“What did I tell you about running off?” You say. Before Max could protest, El had walked out in a black romper with neon shapes plastered all over it. She was stumbling around on two inch heels, her stark white socks making it obvious that she’d never worn anything else besides sneakers. However, the smile on her face distracted you from the fact that she could fall and break her ankle at any moment. She stopped to pose in the mirror before turning to you.

“What do you think, Y/N?”

“I think it’s a winner. You look beautiful, El,” you say, her grin growing wider. Chastising them for running off could be saved until later. Or until something actually~ happened.

“That’ll show those stupid boys not to mess with you!” Max exclaimed.

“Maybe not in those heels, though,” you say, choosing to ignore Max’s comment. Not that you were doubling back on your whole “give Mike another chance” mantra, just that you didn’t want to ruin El’s confidence. You motion for Max to help you get the heels off of El before slipping her new Nikes back on her feet.

“Can I wear this out instead?” El asks.

“And ditch those cute yellow suspenders?” You quip.

“Come on, Y/N!” Max joined in. “What’s another bag? Another swipe of the old Visa?”

“This is the last time I bring you out shopping,” you sigh, watching as the two girls squealed, jumping up and down like they were front row at a concert. Max agrees to gather El’s other outfit from the dressing room while you take El to the register to pay. Then, you’re off again into the bustle of the Starcourt Mall. As you’re walking out, though, you spy Mike and Lucas, along with Will Byers, stepping out of a jewelry store in a heated discussion. Max and El giggled beside you, blissfully unaware that you had just caught both of their “men” doing the exact opposite of what they should be. You silently curse Mike for being this stupid. You careen then girls onto the down escalator.

“Where are we going?” Max asks.

“I saw a food court downstairs. Figured we’d go refuel for a little bit,” you say, not entirely sure the girls would fall for it.

“Oooo, can we get ice cream?” Max replied.

Mission accomplished.

That was until you had taken your eye off them for two seconds after looking at the time on the big yellow clock in the center of the food court. Max had taken El by the hand and bounded down the escalator, into the sailor themed eatery, Scoops Ahoy. You pushed through a group of teenagers balancing ice cream cones, finding the two girls receiving ice cream from a brunette boy in a ridiculous bright blue uniform. You couldn’t shake the familiarity of his face, like something you had seen in dreams. It wasn’t until you were inside of the shop, shivering from the slight temperature change, and smelling the sweetness of the treats before the name had come to you.

“Thanks, Steve!” Max said as she and El grabbed a strawberry and vanilla cone from the boy’s hands, blissfully unaware of your presence as they enjoyed their treats.

Steve Harrington. A name you hadn’t heard since you were in grade school. You remember him being the troublemaker, the one who had stolen your new pack of crayons when you weren’t looking and the one who was every teacher’s nightmare. But you also remembered him being the sweetheart. The boy who stood up for you when Tommy H was making fun of your bangs in second grade. The boy who tried to kiss you on the cheek by the swings when no one was looking. The last time you saw Steve Harrington was when your parents’ moving van was careening carefully down Main Street as you all were moving cities once you completed fifth grade. Steve was riding his bike, stopping in front of Melvald’s General Store before locking it to a rack and walking inside. Since then, Steve had become a memory, someone who would appear every once in a while as a nameless face in a dream.

You stood speechless at the counter, his back turned to you as he cleaned the ice cream scoops before meeting his next customer. There was no way he was going to remember you, your mind was racing. Years of never even thinking of him and here you were a nervous wreck. And for what? Shaking thoughts from your head, you reached into your bag to pull out three dollars for the girls’ dessert. The sound of change clanging on the counter caused him to turn. Shit.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. They come here all the time.”

You looked up to meet his brown eyes, hands still nervously reaching for the change that had fallen out of your hands. You watched as something in his mind clicked.

“Y/N?”

“That’s me,” you reply, shoving the money back into your bag, trying to avoid an awkward conversation that probably neither of you wanted. “Sorry that they ran in here like that.”

“Jesus, how long has it been? What brings you to town?” Guess he wanted an awkward conversation.

“Oh, my uncle, he, uh, wanted me to come watch El for him while he figures out…you know, normal Hawkins police stuff.” God, why are you like this??

“How long are you here?” Steve asked, catching you completely off guard.

“I mean, I only packed an overnight bag,” you say.

“Oh, cool,” Steve replies. The spark that was in his eyes when you’d first connected had vanished.

“But, uh, Hopper never said when he was coming back, so, maybe the weekend?” You tell him, watching the corner of his mouth curl into a smile.

“Would you maybe want to catch up sometime? Like, tonight after I get off?” Steve asks. You could feel your cheeks getting hot. It was your turn to smile now. Instinct struck, though, as you turned away from him and noticed El and Max were gone from the place that they were sitting not too long ago.

“Uh, yeah, sure. I have to…go. Because the girls are…yeah. I’ll come here tonight,” you ramble as you rush out the front towards the escalator.

“See you…later,” Steve called after you. You waved a hand as you bounded up the escalator past several angry mall-goers. You couldn’t even process that you were having a “date” with someone that you hadn’t seen since elementary school, someone that you subconsciously always thought about. If you couldn’t find El, though, it would be your ass. You could already hear Hopper yelling at you at length over the phone when you spot Max’s slender frame standing out front with a melting ice cream cone in her hand. She was watching something, hopefully something to do with El, but you couldn’t figure out why Max wasn’t standing right next to El. Then it hit you.

El found Mike.

You pushed through the front door as quietly as one could push through a heavy glass door. Max’s expression went from supportive to nervous wreck once she had laid eyes on you. The “why did you run out of my sight you dumb idiots” conversation could wait a few minutes. You heard Mike trying to come up with a good excuse as to why he was out at the mall with his friends when El’s quiet voice cut through the palpable tension.

“I dump your ass.”

Max chuckled, mouth agape in surprise. You tried to keep your composure, especially considering you had told the girls not to just dump the boys over “nothing”, but you were proud of El for sticking up for herself. Mike, Lucas, and Will were stoic as El turned dramatically, hair bouncing, arm linking with Max. You heard the boys mumble to themselves as you ushered the girls away from the mall and into your car. In the rearview mirror, you watched as Max gave El a high five, offering to switch ice cream cones with her.

“Don’t think I haven’t forgot that you all ran away from me,” you half-smile. Their faces fell. “I’m not mad.” You scramble to say, just to bring that little bit of happiness back to them.

“Look, we got ice cream and then caught two lying ass boys. It’s not our fault that we fell behind flirting with the sailor boy,” Max said under her breath, taking a bite of El’s ice cream. Your cheeks grew hotter than they were in Scoops Ahoy.

“I wasn’t flirting…”

“Oh, please, I had to sit through weeks of watching El flirt with Mike. I think I know what flirting is,” Max said.

“How did you even-“

“We were sitting in a booth practically behind you. Then El saw Mike and I had to chase after her. You’re welcome, by the way. I should get some of the money that Hopper is giving you for watching her.”

“First of all, I’m not getting paid. Second, thanks, I guess?” You shake your head. “Plus, my love life is not something we should be discussing right now. Didn’t you both just dump your boyfriends?”

“Boys are stupid,” El said matter-of-factly. She wasn’t wrong. Max gave El another high five as they switched ice cream cones again.

“So are you going on a date with Harrington or not?” Max asked.

“Yes, but-“

“Great! I’ll spend the night, and El and I will help you get ready,” she said. El nodded in response, too enticed by her ice cream to give verbal recognition.

“I thought you were against boys?” By now, you had turned down the pathway to Hopper’s cabin. You put the car in park, turning to look at the two girls in the back seat.

“Those boys. Helping you nab Harrington is a different story.” Max said, grabbing her JC Penney bag and bounding out of the car. You helped El carry all of her belongings into the cabin before plopping it into Hopper’s armchair.

“Makeover?” El asked once everyone was inside and settled.

“Oh, yeah,” Max replied. They each took your hands and led you to the bathroom.

What were you about to get into?