#also i know that finn counts more as a light blue character

[fantasies-fairytales-n-fics]

Thranduil and Josie Pt. 168- Gypsy Origins Part 1 of 3

Summary: Haldir's patience is tested during a long, bitter journey. A hypnotic tale of past truths be told.

*Chapter Warnings* language, angst, blood, violence, death, child death

Chapter characters: Haldir, Delphine(Jocelyn), Rumil, Orophin, Harker, Jemma, Zeddicus, Jessie, Thomas, Ravenna, Finn,

Chapter word count: 7,000

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist:

As the dawn of the new winter day shone it's light through the sky reaching bare trees, Jocelyn reluctantly surfaced from under a sizeable pile of brush where she had sought shelter through the cold black night from the evil enchantments of the dark forest and the wicked ones that dwelled within it's borders. Still weakened from the burning cross branded onto her chest by the nutty nun's red hot iron bar, the witch doctor slowly and cautiously crept over the pathless snow covered forest floor, squinting her light strained eyes as she searched for the way out before the befoul breeze consumed her thoughts and lungs for it's morning breakfast. Being accustomed to the lifeless woodlands of the Dorwinion realm, Jocelyn soon found the hidden exit only seen by the trained eye and as she crossed over, trained eyes were watching her. Six of them, all blazing blue, belonging to Haldir, Rumil and Orophin whom were all armed with engaged arrows upon her.

Gasping, her hues, also of blue, frantically darted beyond the trio of platinum locks in search for Bash.

"Where...where's Bash???"

Haldir, being the leading Marchwarden of Lorien and the only Silvan elf of the three that spoke Westron due to all his travels, chose to toy with the witch that he was undeniably unfond of.

"One could only presume his flesh has been ripped from his warlock bones and his soul stripped of his rotting carcass. It is usually the outcome of being left at the mercy of the devil himself."

Her brow raised as she smirked at Haldir's rather serious expression.

"And I can only presume that you are lying through your pretty white elven teeth. Any fool can see that you deeply care for Josie and you would not allow harm to come to those who have risked their lives to help her, even if those I refer to are warlocks who happen to be relatives of the notorious Lord Narcisse, who's reputation highly precedes him in not being a very liked man, but compared to Rahl, Stephane is a fucking saint. I know that you did not leave Bash and that young boy to die and I also know that as wicked as Rahl is, he would not kill his brother and son. His father yes, because the wretched warlock deserved it. Rahl was merely toying with them as you toy with me. I did not willingly leave them. I..."

"You ran for your wicked little life." Haldir scoffed.

Jocelyn bravely marched right up to the poison tipped arrows that were still held upon her and defended herself.

"I am not wicked!! And...what would you have had me do??? YOU were the ones with weapons, not me! Now where are Bash and Charles??"

"Being escorted by the others back to the castle as you now will be. You will follow me. Jo needs you. She's waiting."

Haldir swiftly departed as Rumil and Orophin held their armed stances, while Jocelyn huffed and stomped off to follow the Marchwarden.

After a few minutes, Jocelyn became annoyed at the two brothers behind her and glanced back at them with a scowl.

"Can you please give me some elbow room??" she snapped. "You know, personal space, ever heard of it??"

Ignoring her complaints, the two elves silently carried on behind her with flat expressions which only riled her up even more as she offered them another scowl.

"You know, my mother used to tell me that always having a resting bitch face could end up with it becoming stuck like that. In your case, I can see that to be true. Do you speak? Have you ever? Do you even know how??"

Still, there was not a single word from any of the three elves.

"UNbelievable!"

Jocelyn shook her head and then ran up beside Haldir.

"Am I going to have these arrows in my back the entire way? Why am I being treated like a prisoner?? I have done nothing wrong!"

"Haven't you?" Haldir snarked as he kept his eyes straight ahead.

"Ok, I can clearly tell that you do not like me which is probably because, like all the other fools, you believe the UNTRUE stories you have heard about me."

"I do not like you because you reek of deceit and you insult myself and my brothers."

"Well hello pot, meet kettle...you certainly have been no prince charming."

"I am no Prince. Personal space." Haldir snarked and sped up his large strides in which Jocelyn now angrily trotted behind him.

"Yes. I can tell. Princess may be a better term. And what do you mean deceit? I have deceived no one. If anything, "I" have been deceived here. I would much rather resume my torture at the nunnery than to be forced to return to the lion's den per se OR to be anywhere near the likes of you and your bow happy brothers!"

Haldir spun around so fast that she bounced right off of his chest and tumbled with a hard thud onto her ass.

"Is that all your witch lips do is babble? My goal is to bring you to Jo who needs your help and who I thought you cared for and who in this moment, you remind me VERY much of."

Her gaping eyes then turned to a glare. "Call off your guard dogs or you will have to carry me for I will go no further!"

Haldir thought of you again in that moment, how you had refused to get out of his way and he had picked you straight up and moved you himself. The memory had the Marchwarden chuckling inside of his mind, but on the outside, his face matched the solemn spirits of his brothers who now stood behind him as they all leered down at her.

Haldir's tone was ominous as he spoke through slitted lips. "That could be arranged."

Their piercing eyes now had the feisty brunette quite anxious.

"I dare you to try sprite. Maybe you should heed all the rumors as they say I am poisonous and I do believe elves can be poisoned. Who will help you then? It's a long walk back to the imported Mirkwood healing water. Go ahead...touch me."

The silence and the stares between the four were intensely long and then Haldir finally lifted his hand and motioned for his brothers to lower their weapons.

A smug smirk grew on Jocelyn's lips as the two elves complied. "Good boys. As if you would have shot me anyways Haldy. You need me."

"Jo needs you. I can always shoot you in the leg."

"And then you WILL have to carry me." she quipped and hopped to her feet and walked off to a tree and pulled out a knife.

The arrows swiftly rose again, this time by all three elves.

"What are you doing?!" Haldir growled as she began to cut into the tree.

"It's Spruce bark, which I would have figured a wood elf would know of. It has medicinal purposes, although I don't think it can do anything for that stick up your ass." she replied in a mordacious manner as she cut the pulp out and ate it while gazing in the exasperated elf's eyes. "Would you like to try a piece for good meas...."

Before she could finish her sentence or even blink, Haldir swiftly swiped the knife clean from her hand with an elven move completely invisible to the eye.

"It would seem there was good cause for our weapons. Bo cín té witch (On your way witch)."

Jocelyn's mouth hung open at her empty hand and then her eyes fumed at him before she stormed off. "This is bullshit!"

Haldir mumbled under his breath as the elves now followed her. "Yes it is."

An hour had went by as all walked in silence and Jocelyn's steps were slowing, for the tree bark's energy boosting properties were wearing off and the area of the forest they trekked through became all too familiar to her.

"Could I please have my knife back? I need more of the pulp. My chest is on fire, yet I am freezing and I am tiring." she asked in a defeated tone.

"How is it that you are chilled with the fur of a dead animal constricting your neck?"

"It is not real. I am not some savage like you think me to be. I am just someone who was thrown into a world I did not ask for. Now please...are you not an elf of light? If you have a heart under that tough guy act, which I think you do, for you are doing all of this for Josie, then help me before I collapse or you you really will have to carry me. I need to be stronger to help her. God..I still cannot believe she is here in Dorwinion, but it was inevitable that she would cross paths with Stephane at some point since Jul....never mind. I don't want to talk anymore. I...I feel sick."

Jocelyn sat on a fallen tree, lightly panting and then began to weep.

Haldir stopped and cut a large chunk of the bark, then removed the pulp and chopped it into bite size pieces for the ailing witch.

"Tha...thank you." she sniffled as she took it and kept her eyes to the ground as she nibbled. "Why...do you think I am deceitful?"

"The scent of secrets spill from your pores. For many years, Jo has known and believed your daughter Sarah to be simply her human neighbor and best friend in the mundane world, which included you and I now believe that to be of no coincidence, for now here you are, a witch, in middle earth's magical realm and I have since learned that lady Lola is also your daughter. You also claim you are in fear of a recently deceased Caroline and that you should not speak of Jo. Why is that? Jo has been deeply hurt by that wretched witch turned vampire for she too was full of secrets and lies as you clearly are. I will not let you hurt her too. Speak the truth or as I mentioned, I can and will force you. What is your involvement with Caroline and why is Harker after you? Something happened here. I feel it."

"Here I thought you could actually be nice. So interesting. You speak of deceit as if you have not swam in it yourself. You can sense light and darkness and force truth from others and I... I can see all of that in their eyes, the windows to the soul and yours speak loudly. Jo...you...you love her....intimately you have been when she was not yours to be with. It would also seem...yessss, that you were also intimate with her mother. Now who reeks of deceit?"

Haldir's jaw clenched and his nose flared. "Wicked you are! I have had enough of your deflection."

Jocelyn's breath was lost as her eyes were taken against their will by the unseen power in Haldir's hypnotic glare. She could not pull them free from his wild, dilated blues. She could not even blink as tears dripped down her cheeks like a leaking faucet. She could not move from the log beneath her, only tremble and whimper as the magical elf's lips began to move.

"Im orth- i fána o nin eyes. Ennas na- baw dolen hen faer tur- deli-. Im orth- i fána o nin eyes. On- nin i dolen hen faer hides." (I raise the veil from my eyes. There is no secret her soul can hide. I raise the veil from my eyes. Give me the secrets her soul hides).

Haldir raised his chin and stared down the slope of his nose at the vulnerable woman.

"Tell me about Harker. All that you know and have experienced."

The memories began to play like a movie and Haldir could see them all as they were transferred from her eyes to his while she told the story in her trance like state. It was if she were reliving it right there in the present.

I...I'm in bed. I don't feel well. I can't sleep. My stomach is cramping and my sheets are bloodied. I have become a woman on my 13th Birthday. It's the night of the summer solstice celebration, the longest night of the year and I am the only child there. My older brother Jeremy is away.

I hear violin music and my father's obnoxious laughter from the traveling carnival outside. I see people drinking and dancing around a bonfire from the window of our trailer. My gypsy mother is giving tarot readings. They're all gypsies, even my grandfather but I knew they were much more than that. He's coming in to check on me. I can smell his old spice cologne.

He's bringing me a potion for pain. It's glowing. I ask him as I always did, are you a witch? Is this magic? He's laughing. He says...

A witch doctor. It's hocus pocus my child.

He watches me drink and then, there is no more sound. The music has stopped. The laughing has stopped. I hear gasping. My mother is shouting for my grandfather.

Papa!

I'm watching once again from the window as he goes to her. She's clinging to my father while others stand near, staring at a man I have never seen. He wears black leather, his hair is light and his eyes are blue, but they hold darkness. He is not wanted here. I'm listening to my grandfather and the man speak.

Be gone warlock! Your kind does not belong here.

Oh but I do. You see, I too enjoy a good carnival. In fact, like you, I have my own traveling funfair, but I must say, it is much more...fun...than this. Maybe you have heard of it? Harker's World of Wonders?

It is a circus of freaks, all like you. You steal children and their souls.

I do not steal them. They are given to me. Just as you are going to give me yours. I smell her.

He looks at me in the window. I am so scared. I..I have peed myself.

And I see something else you're going to give me as well. Mmmm, I wish that I had Jessie's girl.

My father's name is Jessie.

I see the man ogling my mother. He runs his tongue over his teeth. My mother shouts at him.

I will give you nothing!

Jemma, Jemma, Jemma...you will, or everyone here will die in a matter of seconds. Do you want all of their blood on your hands? It's simple really. Give yourself and your daughter to me and I will let them all live.

I'm watching my mother. She is stringing her slingshot behind my grandfather's back while the warlock speaks. She lunges forward and shoots a rock clean though his hand. She screams at him.

Get out of here! Leave this camp you murdering bastard!

He's angry. He clenches his fist and blood pours out.

I warned you witch. Now be still and watch.

I'm shaking, too scared to watch...but I do. His injured hand forms the shape of a gun and real bullets spray and shatter the trailer next to me. There's an explosion and so much fire. There's so much screaming. I hear my mother's screams. I cover my ears and scream too.

Many are dead in seconds like he said. I see my mother and grandfather. They're alive, but I do not see my father. Now I see him. He's running to me! I hear him shout for me. Joss!!!

I'm screaming and banging on the window. Daddy no!! Get down!!

I hear more bullets firing and I watch him fall. My mother and grandfather watch him fall. I..I can't breathe. I can't move. I hear my mother screaming again. I see her running to him, crying out his name. Jessie!!!

She falls onto him, pleading for him to wake up... but he doesn't.

I run from the trailer in my nightgown to go to my dad and the evil man grabs me. My mother panics and begs him to let me go.

Your father will be next. DO you give yourself and the child to me???!!

Just take me! Leave my child with her grandfather.

NO Momma!!! I cry and try to free myself, but he is too strong.

Two for the price of one is the deal...or DIE!

My grandfather curses him. The man laughs and twirls his finger. My grandfather begins to bleed from his eyes.

Your magic does not work on me old fool Zeddicus!!

My mother pleads for him to stop. She agrees to his deal.

You can have us!!! Please stop!!

We ride off with the warlock on his black horse and never see my grandfather again for many years."

Haldir's heart slightly palpitated when she finished, for it saddened him deeply what had happened to her and family, but he knew he had to make her continue, for there was much more he needed to know.

"Tell me all that transpired after."

Jocelyn's flooded eyes fluttered but remained locked in the Marchwarden's as she resumed her terrifying tale.

"I'm waking up. I don't know where I am. I don't see my mother, only other children, lots of them, boys and girls, all of different ages and skin color. They're scared. Some are crying. I'm looking around. I think I'm in a stable? I'm not sure. The walls are wooden. It smells. The floor is dirt. I see daylight creeping through the cracks in the walls.

An older woman speaks to me. She's dressed like a servant.

Come child. We must clean you up and then you will sit quietly with the others until it is time for your bread and water.

I tell her my name and ask her what hers is. She says names do not matter here. I am a number and to do as I'm told.

She bathes me in a stall. The water is dirty and cold. She makes me wear a large cloth for my undergarment, pinned like a diaper. She's brushing my tangled hair. It hurts. She's not gentle like my mother. I hear noise outside. When the woman tends to another child, I sneak to the wall and peek through a small hole. I see lots of me. I think they are guards and I see strange looking people, carnies I suppose, some with physical ailments, almost animal like, dressed for circus acts. I see Harker's trailer. His name is on it. He's coming out with my mother! She's crying, her hair is a mess, her clothes are torn and he is smiling and groping her. I yell to her.

Momma!!

A clammy hand covers my mouth and I'm pulled away from the wall. It's the servant.

Hush child!! Do not draw attention to yourself. You are to be seen and not heard or you will moved up the waiting line.

Wh...what is that?? I ask her.

To be taken to the witch in the woods and you will never return.

But..but I want to see my mother!

You cannot. Ever. She belongs to the master now as do we all. Now go sit down. It is time to eat. You must stay in reasonable shape for when your time comes. If you are rejected, you will suffer dearly.

I'm shaking and crying. I can't stop. Night falls and I hear the most frightening sounds outside. Screaming, moaning, laughing. I cry myself to sleep. Every day is the same. Every night is the same. Every 3 days, I watch children from different groups, nine of them, leave at dusk in a wooden cage on wheels with iron bars. They are replaced with new ones by Harker over the 3 days after and the cycle repeats. He does the work. His men make the delivery.

We travel to new places each week. Places I do not recognize. I don't think I am near home anymore. I scratch marks into the walls each night with a rock to keep track of the days. When we move, I count the marks and memorize the number and then start all over again.

352 days have went by and I am 14 now. It is the summer solstice again. I think I am the oldest of all the children. I am lucky I have not been chosen yet but I wish I would be so I could see the sky and breathe the air again, even if it was for the last time. I regret my thoughts. Dusk is settling in and the wagon is being prepared. Harker comes for me and two others from my group. We're all screaming and crying as we are dragged to our wooden chariot. I...I hear my mother!!! She's still alive!! She's shouting my name and running to me.

NO!!! Please!!! Not her!!

Harker strikes her. She falls to the ground. Her lip is bleeding. He orders the guards to take her away. They carry her off, barely conscious as she reaches for me. I am picked up and violently thrown into the wagon. The children are huddling in the back while I sit alone at the door being gawked at by the two guards who follow.

The journey is long and hot. We are traveling on winding narrow paths near a raging ocean. One of the children had lived in the area. Thomas is his name. His eyes are chocolate like his skin. He calls the inland sea a black sea of death. It eats the living and the dead. On the North-West side is the Dorwinion realm, a land of Warlocks and humans. He says the King is of both light and darkness. Some say he has an evil twin but the boy is not sure. He then tells me that one of the witch Queen's castles dwells on the cliffs of the South-Eastern side and that her King is a King of Goblins who dwells in the Misty mountains far away to the North-West and he also says Harker is his brother. They are both evil but not nearly as their mother, a winter witch.

He looks to the North and reveals that a very powerful Elvenking of light reigns there over the vast woodland realm of Mirkwood. He points to a very hard to see island in the North-East, Devil's Island he quietly calls it, and claims it is an isle of vicious vampires with it's own King, for the true ruler of them all and the most ruthless, reigns in the central Misty mountains. Aren't all vampires? I ask him. He says only if their heart is vicious. His finger sways to the South-East and says a younger more modern vampire, a notorious recluse, lives at the top of the mountain and leads a smaller clan. It is rumored that his mind and heart are at war over humans and that is why he hides in the shadows until he must feed. The boy ends his navigational story of the monsters that circle us by telling me that somewhere, deep in the dark forest, unseen to the eye, there's a hidden realm called the Wander Woods, ruled by a twisted Faerie Queen. I want to laugh because all these things are not supposed to be real, but I cant I cry instead because I know after meeting Harker that they are very real and that I'm about to die. I'm not in Kansas anymore and no wizard will save me. This is another fairy tale. The dark one of Hansel and Gretel.

I see the castle. It almost touches the full moon from high upon the cliff. The wagon stops at the gates. All nine of us are clutching each other and screaming. The guards are poking us with poles and tell us to remain silent. Our breaths must be preserved. We are chained in a single file and led inside. I am first.

Myself and the two behind me are unchained. Thomas is one of them. Servants scurry up to us and drag us off. They mock us as we are primped and polished. They tell us the Queen will not eat what is ugly. I'm staring out the window into the brightly moonlit ocean. There's a giant vessel. Oh my god!! They're throwing the lifeless bodies of children overboard! I pee myself again. Luckily it buys me time but it shortens Thomas's and the other child's. They take them first as I am roughly and speedily cleaned up.

They take me up to the top of the sky scraping tower. The room is prodigious and round, lit by a fire pit in the center. A woman of golden hair, pinned up under a brass crown, stands at a mirror. Her back is to me. She is weeping. There's a man of short ivory hair at her side, holding her up and comforting her.

Time is running out brother. Where is the third child!!??

A grandfather clock echoes two chimes. It is 11:30.

She is here now sister.

The woman turns and stares at us. Her blue eyes are young but evil and her skin is aging. She wears an abundance of jewelry. Upon the ring and pinky finger of her left hand are a metal claws.

I accidentally gasp and she glares at me with a wicked smile. Her voice is soft but it makes my skin crawl. She tells me I will be saved for last since I am the heaviest. I don't understand.

She approaches Thomas. He's small, maybe 10 years old and stands only to my shoulders. I squeeze his hand as she squeezes his face in to a pucker. She tells him he has beautiful skin and likes how it shimmers of youth in the light. Her smile and her gaze turns dark.

Thomas's hand slips from mine as he is lifted by his face up to her face. His feet are kicking as he helplessly dangles in the air. I...I can't breathe. I can't watch. I squish my eyes shut as I hear a sucking noise and then a thud. My eyes pop open and Thomas lies still at her feet. His skin is all shriveled. A servant drags him away and the other child is brought forward by her face. It happens again. I still do no do not watch. I feel her approach me and then she speaks to me.

Open your eyes child. I must see all of you, closely. Every detail. You must be of perfection.

I can't stop myself from opening them. She looks different. Her skin is healing. She is stronger. Now I understand why I am last. Now I understand it all. She is eating our souls to feed and preserve her youth and power.

Ahhh yes. You will do just fine fair one.

She grabs me under my chin and lifts me from the ground. I feel paralyzed. I can't even kick my legs. Her grip is so tight, I am choking and it forces my mouth open. Her mouth opens, unrealistically wide and she begins to suck my soul into her body. I feel my skin tightening. I'm slowly imploding as the air in my lungs is sucked dry. Something else is happening. Something that is not supposed to. I see it in her widened eyes as he hand loosens it's grip. I feel my skin reforming and my breath returning. I see my soul's essence flow from her mouth, back into mine. It has a fiery color swirling in it that it didn't have before. It burns my chest and then becomes cool and tingly. She gasps for air and drops me.

She stumbles back into her brother's awaiting arms and her eyes are gaping mad as she watches me slowly sit up.

Ravenna, my sister, what is it??!! her befuddled brother asks as he too gapes at me.

Help me up Finn. Now!

She's assisted to her feet and she grabs a fistful of my hair as she screams at me.

How OLD are you!!!!!???

Again, I do not understand.

I...I...I am...f..ff...fourteen.

This cannot be! She merely looks 12!" the brother proclaims. "Harker would never send anyone over 13!

She glances at the clock. It is 5 minutes till midnight.

Give me one of the other children! Quickly!

A servant rushes off and comes back with a girl who looks no more than 8. Ravenna finishes her ritual with only seconds to spare. The clock then chimes twelve times as her youthful image is restored.

Ravenna is telling Harker's guards to have Harker return with her next shipment to answer for his mistake and send an extra child to replace me. They are not pleased. She is now ordering Finn to throw me in the sea with the other bodies, but he stops the guards and argues with her.

Sister. I cannot. You must send her back. She survived which means she still belongs to Harker. Not only will it now be considered taking from a warlock, but it is a rule of the spell Jadis has placed. You must never rid of a survivor. It is an omen. There will be consequences, for the girl has consumed some of your magic.

Damn that jealous woman!! It is the only reason she has done this to me!

Sister...I believe bedding the King Jasper was the cause. Look what she allowed Jareth to do to him and his men. You should consider yourself fortunate that Jareth wanted you alive.

Fortunate brother?!!! I had to pay this price to live!! Enough. Today is your lucky day little girl but do not think I will ever forget this, nor forgive it. With that said, you will remain here until Harker arrives to answer for this!!

Harker's men are angry as Finn is dragging me off. I am happy to have escaped death but I do not know what will happen to me now. I feel so desperate."

Jocelyn stopped and Haldir thought for a moment as her eyes remained a prisoner of his. Her story only darkened with the more she revealed and he knew she would remember all of this when he freed her of his mind manipulation and may be traumatized from it, but still...there was so much more he must extract from her memories, for even the simplest of information could be highly useful at some point and...she had all the answers to your questions of the past regarding Sarah and now even Lola and Narcisse were involved. They both were too close to you and Leeanduil, so it had to be done. He had come this far. There was no turning back now.

Haldir's dilated pupils pulsed as the thin ring of blue around them glowed like an eclipse.

He then spoke one word.

"Continue."

More tears rushed upon her flushed cheeks from her immobilized eyes as she obeyed his command.

"I am being locked in a dungeon, only it is not underground. It is in a tower. The door is grated iron. There is only one small window with no glass. It is so hot. There is no bed. I'm so tired. I fall instantly asleep on the filthy floor. My face is burning. I open my eyes and the sun is shining on me. It is morning. I am searching the room for something, anything to help me escape but there is nothing. I feel like I am suffocating. I need air.

I am climbing up to the window. If I could fit through, it would not matter. It has two iron bars in it and there is nowhere to go but hundreds of feet down to my death. It is all a rubble of rocks on the ocean's edge. I see something. What is...that?? It is a large loose iron nail. I...I think I can reach it. I am stretching my arm through the window. I...I've got it! But it's hard to pull and it's hot from the sun I assume. I'm pulling and pulling. It finally comes out. I am looking it over, thinking of what I can do with it. Maybe I can pick the l...oh god! Someone is coming!

I see Finn approaching with food. I'm hiding the nail behind my back as he comes in. Now I realize what I can do with it, but am I brave enough to try?? If I am caught, what will happen to me? I don't care. I have to get away. I don't like how he is looking at my breasts. It is now or never.

He is walking up to me. He touches my bare chest and licks his lips. I am shaking and becoming very angry. The nail is still hot. I cannot hold it anymore. I am clenching it tight and I...I swing the pointed edge at his face. It slices his cheek from his eye to his jaw. He is screaming and I am running out the door he left open. I don't know where I am going. I just keep running. I see an opening with light but when I get there, it is only a drop off to the ground.

I turn and run the other way. I hear Finn's voice and other guards nearby. Corner after corner. I keep going, looking for stairs. I find some and rush down them but now I...I am lost and even more desperate. I see a courtyard and more light coming from a small opening with water on the ground outside of it, but there are guards everywhere. They see me and begin shouting and chasing me and now I have no choice but to run to the hole. One of them almost catches me. I dive into the opening and I am now sliding right into a flooded drainage tunnel. I'm soaked and wading my way through it to the light. I crawl over the edge and I am now on the side of the cliff with nothing but the raging ocean below. They're coming through the water. I have no choice but to jump. I close my eyes tightly shut and force my feet forward. I'm falling. I plunge into the black sea of death. I think my heart has stopped beating.

I'm fighting the current, trying to swim up for air. It's pulling me in the opposite direction. I am going to drown. I can see the light above me. Is it the light we see when we die?

A strong surge pushes me up and I surface, gasping for breath. There are rocks. I cling to them while my lungs fill back up with air. I look up and see a pathway around the cliff.

I'm running again. There are horses tied to a post. I see guards in the distance relieving themselves. I sneak up and untie one of the horses. I have never ridden a horse. I am climbing on and horns begin blowing. The guards see me and begin racing towards me. The horse is startled and he gallops off. I don't know how to control him. He is heading towards the forest that I see in the far distance so I just hold on tight and pray.

I am nearing the forest and the horse stops so fast that I fall off. I see the guards coming. Lots of them. I try to climb back up but the horse moves to the side and shakes his head. He won't let me. Something is frightening him. I pull his reigns to get him to follow me into the forest but he lunges up on his back legs and neighs loudly, then runs off. I turn and run into the forest. I soon find out what the horse was scared of. I am in Ravenna's dark forest.

All the trees are dead. The air is murky and stinks. There's barely any light. I begin to run again when I hear the sound of something screeching. I fall and a mist of sparkles spray into my eyes. It's poison. I'm hallucinating. I keep going, stumbling, trying not to pass out. I fall into a stream and crawl through the mud to get out and now I'm laying on dead birds. There are figures in black cloaks, all watching me. Black beetles are crawling everywhere. Tar is seeping from the trees and dead plants. I am swarmed by bats. Is...is that a dragon or a...a gargoyle in the tree?? It flies down and strikes me with it's wings. Everything goes black.

I'm waking up. I don't know how long I have been here. I realize it has not been long because I hear the voices of guards. I run off to hide under a pile of brush. One of them walks by. I can see through the branches. It is one of Harker's men. I don't know which is worse, him or Ravenna's men.

I stay silent until I cannot see him anymore but he already knew I was there. He drags me out. I cannot free myself from his firm grip on my arm. Finn and three of his armed men come. The gash on his face is gone. I try to run but Harker's man pulls me close to him. Finn extends his hand to me and tells me to come.

I beg the warlock. No. NO! Please don't give me to him!

He holds his weapon out at Finn. Back away. The girl comes with me.

The Queen says otherwise. She has given you your orders warlock.

I do not answer to her. I have my orders. Any rejections go back to Harker. She still belongs to him. You said so yourself.

And she will. After the Queen speaks with him.

4 more of Harker's men show up. One speaks for all.

That is not how the arrangement goes. Your sister knows it. She has no authority to alter the rules. The girl survived. She will rightfully come with us. The Queen cannot be trusted not to harm her. Do you wish to jeopardize your sister's means of receiving what she needs? I know YOU are certainly not going to provide for her on a daily basis. You're merely a man, unlike Harker, and can only travel so far with limited time and resources, that being of the slim to no children in the area. Choose as you will, but we are taking her, with or without a fight.

Finn scowls at us and leaves with his men. I feel better with the outcome but I still fear for my life.

The warlock guards take me straight back to Harker. It is late in the day and they are on edge. I sense they fear his reaction for returning me. They are right to fear him. A wolf like growl escapes through his clenched teeth. His fingertips grow claws of bloody daggers.

I fearfully fall to my knees at his feet as the men push me towards him. They explain all that happened and he orders them to bring him my mother. They drag her down the hall of his trailer and force her to her knees beside me. We cling to each other, shaking and crying. He demands answers from my mother. He is pacing and snarling like a dog between his sentences.

You have been here one year. You know the routine, yet you fail to inform me of your spawn's age!

I...I...did not know it mattered my Master. I swear it!

If it did not matter, then I would give YOU to her!! You see ALL of the children here! Not a one, or so I believed, is over 13 years of age. It is forbidden! My brother is her King and he, along with the Queen will now believe I attempted to kill her! My camps could be raided by his armies of orcs, goblins and wendigos and if that happens, I will feed you and your offspring to them! You better say your little prayers that I can make Ravenna understand and that she was not harmed, for she is far more unforgiving than myself and my brother combined.

He is grabbing her by her hair and pulling her to her feet. Something is happening inside of me. A rage that I have never felt. My eyes uncontrollably dart to a shiny object on his desk as if I knew it was there and knew what it would do. It is a small silver dagger. I run to it. I take it and I spin around, slicing his hand that clenches her hair. He releases her and backs away. An indescribable scream, almost deafening, spews from his mouth with a visible steam like a piping hot tea kettle.

I am reprimanded by his men and the blade is taken. I'm ordered to be locked up in iron chains. I don't see Harker for 2 days. I am in a small cave chained by my ankle to a rock wall. My skin is burning under the shackle and I feel weak. I'm having horrifying dreams of Ravenna. I feel myself changing, internally and physically. I am remembering Finn's words, that I consumed some of her magic."

@redeemer46

[oddshelbyout]

A Little Too Fond Of Him // Thomas Shelby X Fem!Reader

Requested by: @accioholland

Taglist: @captivatedbycillianmurphy

Summary: You go out for a drink after a bad day and sit down with Tommy to have a conversation but you’re too distracted by his eyes.

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 1725

Author’s Notes:

I really love this request because I love writing soft Tommy and also best friends to lovers. I’m sorry if Tommy is a little out of character, I just wanted him to be softer around Y/N.

English is not my first language and I’m not always confident about my work so please let me know if I make any mistakes or anything I can fix in my writing.

You can ask to be added to my taglist. You can be tagged to works on a specific character or just any of my works. Please dm me or send your wish to my ask box if you’d like to be added.

Requests are open. You can request any Peaky Blinders related imagines or prompts for me to write. I’m a minor so I don’t take NSFW requests, please keep that in mind.

———————

It had been a long day. Being a teacher had it perks but you hadn’t come across to any of them that day. The children gave you a really hard time and you were extremely tired. You really needed a drink.

You went home first. You had to change your boring teacher clothes to your usual ones. You always cared if you looked good. You didn’t want to go out for a drink looking like an old lady.

Left home and made your way to the Garrison. You hoped Tommy, your best friend would be there because you hadn’t seen him for a while.

When you stepped into the pub, you noticed it was more crowded than usual. You wondered what was the occasion but also didn’t care enough to ask.

You walked to the bar, asked for a double scotch. Tommy always tried to make you drink irish whiskey and you were now just drinking scotch to annoy him even when he wasn’t around.

“Tommy’s in the booth if you’d like to say hello.” the bartender said as he put the glass in front of you. You smiled, you were happy that you could whine to him about your students. “Thanks.” you grabbed the glass and headed to the booth.

You opened the door seeing Tommy sit there with Finn and John but he wasn’t talking. He was just there watching his two younger brothers discuss something that himself wasn’t clearly interested in.

“So here are the Shelby boys, long time no see.” you said and their eyes turned on you. You closed the door behind you and stepped in.

“Y/N! Good to see you.” John said, he was always happy to see you. Finn just waved at you without saying a word.

“Out on a school night?” Tommy said before he took a drag from his cigarette. You shook your head and giggled.

“I don’t have any restrictions about that, unlike Finn.” your gaze fell on the youngest. He looked so annoyed, “I wouldn’t either if Tommy let me drop out.” he mumbled.

John patted on Finn’s shoulder, “Patience brother, patience.” he said and you saw a slight smile sit on Tommy’s face.

“Why don’t you sit down?” Tommy asked you and pushed the chair beside him so you can sit easily. You put your glass on the table first and then sat on the wooden chair.

“You seem a bit upset.” Tommy said to you, you licked your lips. “It’s okay, just a bad day.” you explained but he didn’t seem to be satisfied with your reply.

John and Finn saw that Tommy’s whole attention was on you so they excused themselves and said goodbye. You were now alone in the booth with Tommy and he seemed to be determined to know what was bothering you.

“I’m not convinced that’s just it.” he mumbled, you didn’t like when he was persuasive to get you talking but this time you actually wanted to tell.

“The kids barely listen to me, maybe it’s because I’m younger and not a bitchy old lady who’s only personality trait is being authoritarian.” you said in one breath and Tommy chuckled. That was rare but it made you smile even though what you were saying was pissing you off.

“You may be a bit too nice.” he said, you rolled your eyes. “Come on Tommy, I just don’t want to traumatise them.” you explained, he knew exactly what you meant.

“I’m not saying you have to be a bitchy old lady, just be a little more strict.” he said, you sighed. “I’m not like you Tom, I’m not good at not being nice.” you took a sip from your drink.

“Thank God for that.” he said and you smiled. He’d always said that his favourite thing about you was that you were too nice for your own good. At times it had bad consequences but being nice wasn’t something bad.

“I see you’re still drinking scotch.” Tommy said with his eyebrows raised. “I can’t believe you can distinguish whisky from the colour.” with your words his arms were up like he was guilty.

He looked tired but not like the usual, he just looked like he was fed up with something otherwise he wouldn’t try to keep the conversation on you if you stated you didn’t want that.

“Now tell me, what’s up with you?” you just had to ask. “Nothing.” he denied and lit up another cigarette. “There’s no way I’ll let you get away with not telling me.” you said directly, he sighed.

“It’s Finn.” he said, your eyes were fixated on his lips, so full and red. You always loved to examine his features while he spoke to you.

“I feel like I know where this is going.” you said and he sighed again. Your gaze drifted to his eyes. Oh his eyes, they were the most beautiful you’ve seen. They were such a light blue that you couldn’t believe how they could be real.

“He’s trying so hard to be like me.” he complained, he clenched his jaw. You didn’t respond, your mind was only working on how beautiful his eyes were at that moment.

“He’s only 16, he should do as I say not as I do.” he continued his rant. You were too distracted by his eyes, your impression went blank but the corners of your lips were still a little curled.

“I told him no guns and he went to steal one from Polly.” you weren’t hearing him. His eyes had mesmerized you once again. His blue eyes were blinding your eyes.

“I only want him to go to school so he doesn’t end up like me.” he said. He wanted his youngest brother to have a better future. You just nodded but not at what he said, you weren’t hearing him. You were nodding to your inside voice saying the shade of his eyes were just like the sky.

“Oi!” Tommy called and now you were back to the real world. “Huh?” you said coming back to realise he was telling you what was bothering you the whole time. You felt like a fool.

“Are you even fucking listening to me?” he asked, he was so annoyed. You licked your lips in shame. “Honestly, no.” you admitted. “You’re gonna make me tell it all again, right?” he asked, so you only sadly nodded.

He told it all once again, you had all your attention on him this time but you were still examining his individual features. How his cheeks blushed when he started to get angry.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, you blinked in surprise. “Just appreciating your eyes.” you blurted out, only to realise what you said afterwards.

Tommy froze, his lips parted. “My eyes?” he asked and you pushed your lips together, you were embarrassed. There was no going back after this.

“Your eyes are just so pretty, they distract me.” you explained hoping he wouldn’t be weirded out by that. “You think my eyes are pretty.” he said softly, his lips curled up a bit.

“Yes.” you simply answered, you were so nervous about what he would say afterwards. “I think your eyes are pretty too.” he said and your jaw dropped. That was definitely not what you expected.

“My eyes are mediocre.” you said, your eyes were nowhere close to how beautiful his eyes were. “I think mine are too.” his voice was still soft, it wasn’t what you were used to.

“No, yours are extraordinary.” he couldn’t hold himself back and chuckled. You hadn’t seen him chuckle like that with a big smile in so long that you couldn’t believe it. He was actually happy that you said that and was definitely not weirded out.

“Extraordinary.” he repeated what you just said, his smile didn’t fade. Your one hand was sitting on the table and he moved his hand to yours. You felt your stomach twirl, it didn’t feel as good as you thought it would.

“Yes.” you were out of words to say. “What does it mean Y/L/N?” him calling you by your last name was nothing new but it felt different at that moment with the tone he said it with.

“You tell me.” you just really didn’t know where this was going and it scared you. “Maybe you’re a little too fond of me.” you held your breath, what he said wasn’t so easy to process. Were you in love with your best friend? No, that couldn’t be it or could it?

“No.” you simply replied, “Then why are you looking at me like that, telling me my eyes are extraordinary.” your wind was working so slowly. You had no idea how to respond to that.

“Okay, I might be a little too fond of you.” you admitted, you had no other choice. “So you finally realised.” he said and your eyes popped out of its place.

“What?” you blurted out, “I’ve been waiting for you to realise so I could ask you out.” he said. You jumped out of your seat, “What the fuck Tommy?” you shouted.

“You’re not as smart as you think.” you said before giving him a chance to speak, “Why did you have to wait for me? You didn’t wait for any other girl!” you weren’t angry but you were just so annoyed.

“You’re not some other girl.” he said and licked his lips. “I needed to be sure our friendship wouldn’t go to waste.” you took a deep breath, “Oh.” you could reply with only that.

“So you liked me all this time and didn’t say a word and also fucked around as much as you could?” you asked, he nodded, he obviously didn’t know how to reply

You sat back down on the chair and put your hand on the table again. This time he didn’t only get his hand closer to yours but held it. His cold hand gave you chills.

You didn’t even realise how much you were attracted to him and just in a blink you were going on a date. It was far from what you expected for the night, all you wanted was a drink after a tough day. You still were happy with the result and Tommy seemed to be too.

[dracowars]

hold on | poe dameron

pairing: poe x reader

word count: 1,9k

summary: where poe has to hold on to y/n for dear life

a/n: this is inspired by that one scene in Mulan II (if you know, you know)

warnings: angst, character death, mentions of blood

universe: star wars

It was in that one moment, in that one tiny second, that you were careless. You were not paying enough attention. You have felt safe, a false sense of security. And suddenly the plans with important secret information about the First Order and its troops, that you worked hard for to earn, were snatched away from you.

Leia had entrusted the four of you - Rey, Finn, Poe, and you - with this very important mission and sent you to Vandor to meet up with a spy in the ranks of the First Order who captured said plans. With these plans you could have foreseen their next steps and be prepared for them. You would have had a chance, but now that the plans are gone, the hopelessness keeps increasing.

After you went to Vandor and reached your destination, you were badly surprised on your way back to the base and had to make an emergency landing on Pasaana, a heavily populated desert planet. You immediately thought that something was not right, that something was suspicious since the Millennium Flacon was carefully checked on the basis of the Resistance beforehand and showed no signs of any damages or problems. You should have guessed that the First Order was behind this, chasing you down until they got their precious plans back. And unfortunately, that is exactly what they now succeeded in doing.

Pasaana is known for its colorful festivals and marketplaces and while you were looking for spare parts to repair the Falcon with, you were distracted. You were not paying attention, got distracted, and suddenly the plans were gone, stolen by a creature you would classify as a bounty hunter based on its appearance. They were shrewd and cunning and had probably worked out their deed diligently. One of them distracted you all, talked to you, got you involved in a conversation and offered you all sorts of things, just like a real trader. What none of you noticed, however, was how his companion sneaked up on you from behind and stole your bag with the plans.

The two of them ran away immediately and you followed them as quickly as possible. While doing so, you also drew the attention of a few patrols consisting of stormtroopers of the First Order on you, who are making the pursuit even more difficult now. Rey fends off their shots with her blue lightsaber, Finn shoots his blaster at your chasers in the middle of running, while Poe and you are closely following behind the bounty hunters.

The sand under your feet makes it strenuous for you to move forward quickly, but not only you are affected by it. The bounty hunters as well as the stormtroopers are struggling with it too and since you ran out of the actual city by now, you find yourself completely surrounded by sand.

However, you do not let it stop you and continue to pursue them in the hope of regaining the important plans with the information, not dooming your mission. Poe tries to hit them with his own blaster shots repeatedly, but terribly fails. In return for his attack, you are met with a small ball flying straight towards you; a bomb.

Within seconds, Poe throws himself protectively at you, pulling you to the side and away from the source of danger, ending up in the soft sand when the bomb goes off close to you. Poe shields the swirling sand from you with his body, his strong arms blocking your view.

“Are you alright?”, he asks you worried, his arms wrapped tightly around you, scanning his eyes over your face.

“Y-Yes. Thank you”, you stutter out. You have never been this close to him before as you are at this moment right now. His dark curls fall on his forehead, beautifully framing it, his stunning brown eyes look straight into yours. You lose yourself in the moment, wanting to control and stop the time to forever enjoy this moment. Poe, on the other hand, seems to be stunned as well. By you.

He has had these feelings for you for so long already, but he suppressed them. At first, he tried to deny the fact that he fell for you, but seeing you every day, seeing that gorgeous smile on your face that he wants to touch so bad every time, he accepted his feelings at some point, but was still not ready to confess them. How could he? In the midst of a war raging around you, he felt it was inappropriate and not the right time to put his feelings first. But right now, in this moment, he would like nothing more than to confess his love to you. Kiss you right on the spot, cup your face, softly touch you with his fingers, all that he wishes so dearly still seems so far away, even now when he can literally feel your raging heartbeat against his chest.

No longer able to withstand his loving gaze on you, you avert your gaze and Poe watches how your eyes suddenly widen.

“The plans!”, you shout in shock and bring you both back to the bitter reality. Getting up as fast as possible, Poe helping you, you stomp through the deep sand again, following the bounty hunters who have brought a great distance between you in the meantime.

“What are you two even doing!?”, you hear Rey’s voice behind you as she comes running after you both. Apparently, she and Finn successfully eliminated all stormtroopers.

“They are going to escape!”, Finn adds a little angry, the blaster still ready in his hands before another loud shot is suddenly fired.

Several Tie Fighters have now appeared above you, chasing and shooting you. You are abruptly forced to stop in your tracks when one of their fatal shots lands right in front of you, blocking your path with a violent explosion, whirling the sand through the air again.

“This way!”, Poe calls out, takes you by the hand and leads you into a crevice, closely followed by Rey and Finn. “Their footprints lead this way, come on!”

Not hesitating for long, you stay hunched between the rocks, walking more slowly than before with the Tie Fighters over your head, waiting like vultures for their prey. The footprints lead through the rocky landscape until you reach a large, deep cliff.

Right when you reach it, the bounty hunters run over a narrow, unstable suspension bridge that leads over said gorge. Without thinking any further, Poe and you quickly follow them, the loose pieces of wood creaking dangerously under your feet. And on top of all of this, the Tie Fighters reappear, now that there is enough space above you to shoot at you again. A shot fired by Finn, who has stopped on the solid surface in front of the cliff, passes you, heading straight for the bounty hunters, but missing them by only a few inches. One of them aims his weapon directly at Poe and you on the loose bridge, fires a shot as well and actually lands a hit this time. Poe cries out in pain, whimpering, when his blaster is shot out of his hand with great impact, falling into the abyss.

As soon as the two bounty hunters reach the other safe side of the gorge, a disgusting laugh comes from their mouths as they suddenly start to cut the rotten ropes of the hanging bridge. Immediately the bridge begins to sway dangerously under your feet, nearly knocking you over when you try to keep your balance.

“Watch out!”, you hear Rey’s loud scream behind you, the last thing you hear right before one of the Tie Fighters shots fly through the air again, breaking the rope in half and causing you to fall into the deep depths, screaming.

At the very last moment you manage to hold on to a broken old rope, reach out your arm right away to catch Poe as well. His weight pulls hard on your arm, making you cry out in pain briefly, but you grab his hand as tightly as you can, not letting go of him. You hang helplessly in the air over the gorge, which leads several meters down, not even being able to see the ground from up here. A cold breeze floats through the gorge and not only makes you sway, but also the almost completely destroyed suspension bridge above you.

“Poe! Poe, hold on tight, okay? I got this!”, you scream loudly, hoping to give him and also yourself the strength to get through this, but when you look up to where the bridge was a few seconds ago, another part of it breaks and you fall a few meters deeper. Holding on to the one puny rope with your bare physical strength, tears are already stinging your eyes, the situation seeming hopeless. The rope, which now resembles a thin thread, will not be able to hold you for much longer.

“Y/N. It will not hold us both”, Poe states, his shaky voice full of fear and sadness, saying out loud what you thought.

“No, it will hold us both. It will, I know it will!”, you reply with an equal shaky voice, looking down at him and the infinite depth below him. Bloods runs down his arm, caused by the injury on his hand due to the shot, turning his light brown shirt a deep red. Tears well up in your eyes when you notice the helplessness in his eyes. Shortly after your words, the rope starts to tear a little more and your arms turn sorer every second.

“I should have told you this much earlier, Y/N. But I want you to know that, before we die, I truly love you”, Poe confesses out of nowhere, causing the tears to flow down your cheeks, your hand clasping even more around his wrist.

“I love you too, Poe. With all my heart”, you sob and see a gentle smile on Poe’s lips, which disappears again quickly as his whole facial expression changes after his gaze fell on the thread which is the only thing still saving you from death. “We will not die, do you hear me? We will make it out of here!”

“Y/N. I am sorry”, he whispers and suddenly loosens his grip on your hand. Screaming bitterly, you try to grab him, to hold him, but his hand slips away, and Poe falls down into the abyss, margining with the deep black while you can only scream after him.

“NO!”, you cry out loudly, your hand still outstretched, warm and covered in blood where your hands were still touching seconds before. “POE!”

You are about to let go as well, your grip on the rope, that is currently still rescuing you from the same fatal fate as Poe, is already loosening when you suddenly feel how the gravity gets reversed and you begin to float in the air. Slowly, you slide up out of the deep gorge, still holding the rope in your hand, your gaze fixed on the black below you as you get rescued through the Force by Rey. As soon as you feel solid ground under your feet again, you rush back to the dangerous edge, fall on your knees in front of it while tears flow down your cheeks in streams.

With beeping ears and a throbbing heart, you feel how Rey and Finn put their arms around you, how they talk to you and try to comfort you. But nothing could. Nothing in this universe could relieve you from the absolute pain you are in.

You feel nothing but emptiness. A void that is only filled with the unbearable pain of just having lost the love of your life forever.

[moonyswriting]

Pride

Happy Pride Month everyone! Whether you queer or questioning, closeted or out, I am so proud of you, you are valid and perfect! Remember that you never have to come out if you don’t want to. You’re not lying to anyone if you don’t. You don’t owe them to come out. Only do it if you want to. Also remember that labels can stay forever or can change and both is perfectly normal. You're fantastic the way you are. <3

So, I managed to write a pride fic for the first day of pride month! yay me. I hope you like it :)

Thank you for the idea @moonofthenight

Characters by @lumosinlove

When Pascal came into their living room it had never looked more colourful, but it had also not looked this messy in a long time. There was tape on all four sides of the table, paper and little paper cut outs all over the floor and in the middle of everything, all his four children, looking like deer in the headlights.

“What happened?”, he asked slowly. There would be a reasonable explanation for all of this, he was sure. Celeste had probably helped and they would clean everything back up in no time, leaving no trace of a mess before the team came over for dinner tonight.

Adele shuffled over looking at the floor. “Um,” she stared before glazing back at her siblings, who nodded at her encouragingly. “So, we decided to make some things for the others. You know, since you’re having that Pride Party tonight? We thought we’d make little gifts for the team.”

Oh, Pascal’s heart was already a puddle. “You-”, he stared, but couldn’t continue. He had questioned a lot if he should have raised his children differently, more open to the rainbow or attractions and genders (or lack thereof) that was out there, but this made him feel like he and Celeste had at least done some things right.

Pascal only realised he hadn’t properly said anything yet when Katie rushed towards him, hugging his hip. “Please don’t be mad. I promise, we’ll clean it all up. Mama said she’d help us!”, the big eyes of his youngest daughter stared up at him, guilty, but hopeful.

“I’m not mad, mon chou.”, picking her up, he turned towards the other three, still standing in front of him. “Not at any of you. This is an incredible idea! The team will love them. Thank you so much, it’s really thoughtful.” Leaning down, he placed a kiss on each of his childrens’ foreheads, including Katie’s before setting her down to get back to the others. Celeste walked through the door the next moment, flowers of all colours in her hand.

“You found our little pride squad then?”she asked, walking past him and into the kitchen, probably to cut off the ends of the stems. “Don’t worry, I’ll help them clean up and we’ll be done before any of your teammates even leave their houses.”

His wife knew him too well. He hated when other people visited them and their house was messy. Of course there had been times where he couldn’t really keep it clean with four toddlers running around, but he still always tried and his family knew that and helped him. It wasn’t really that it bothered him that visitors could see that they were possibly not clean people, it was just the principle. He thought it should that they were prepared and anticipated someone’s visit. He never wanted them to think it was a bad time to visit because he would eventually excuse the mess. He always wanted everyone to feel welcome.

And that’s what tonight would be about. Making his team feel always welcomed and loved and accepted.

Celeste returned back to their dining room without the flowers, kissing Pacal’s cheek and then turning towards their children. “Did you show him what you made already?” they shook their heads but quickly climbed up onto chairs and sorted through the things they had made. “They’re all really cute, I already saw some of them.” Celeste whispered giddily into his ear, as excitement bloomed in his chest and they walked over to look at the crafts.

“Here!” Katie waved a piece of paper in the air and Pascal walked around the table to look at what she had made. SHe beamed up at him as she explained, “This is for Tremzy! And Harzy and Knutty! It’s a card and I drew Lo, Leo and Finn on the front, see!” The man took the card in his hands. There were three stick figures on it, the smallest with brown hair, the next one with bright red hair and the last, taller than the other with yellow hair. In the back there were blue, red and black dots. “Why did you use those colours, ma petite?” He did have an idea, but with the many coloured pens on the table it could have just been a coincidence.

He could see Katie look over to Adele and Marc, before her eyes met his again. “Del and Marc said that those are the colours when you have more than one love and Logan has Finn and Leo, so they said I should use those. They look good together right?” Pascal could see that he wasn’t the only one close to tears after glazing over at Celeste smiling brightly. “Yes, Katie, it looks beautiful. Lo, Leo and Finn will love it! Adele, Marc, thank you for helping your sister. I know that this will mean a lot to Logan.” then as if he couldn’t help but to add, “I’m also very proud of you for looking up pride flag colours. I’m really happy you're informing yourself about these topics. They’re important.”

They all smiled at him. Pascal went over to Louis next. “I made two! This one is a card for Olli and Del and Marc also helped me with colours, so it's black, grey, white and this really nice purple that Katie gave me. It didn’t really match the photo, but I liked it better than the really dark one. Do you think he’ll mind?” The fact that his youngest son actually looked concerned staring down at his work had a tear spilling over. He let out a wet chuckle. “Non, je pense qu’il va l'adorer, c’est parfait. For who is the green one?” Louis pulled it out from under his other one and now Pascal could see it was not just green. There were black, grey, white and purple stripes on it too. “It’s for Reg! See, it’s got these stripes and then I drew this heart above it, cause even though he doesn’t want a boyfriend like Siri, he still gets all the love he needs from me and Siri and you and Re and the rest of the team!” Celeste came over and placed a kiss on his cheek, “He loves you too, mon lapinou. They look amazing.”

He walked over to his older son, he didn’t know if he could be any prouder of them. “ I made one for Kasey, Nat and Alex.” Marc stated as he handed his father one of the cards he had made. There were three heads on it, one with long blond hair and hoop earrings, one with light brown hair to the shoulders and one with dark red hair, freckles filling up more of his face than the light pink his son had used for all their skin tones. Pascal was about to compliment it, when Marc gave him another one. “This one is for Nado and Kuny. I made it full of hearts in pan and bi colours, because you mentioned that once and I really hope it’s right.” before Pascal could even think his next thought a stack of cards was placed in his hands. “And then for some of then we didn’t know, but we didn’t want them to feel left out or asume, so I made some rainbow ones for Pots, Talker, Sergei, Timmers, Cookie, Bluey, Ringer, Volley, Wrangler, Sunny and Foxy.”

Pascal was a bit shaken, not only that his son even remembered everyone of his teammates, without missing a single one, but at him having crafted every single one of them a rainbow card. “They will all love them, I’m sure. They look incredible.”

He saw Adele look down at her cards and moving them slightly out of view. Frowning, he walked over to her, “Did you also make something, ma colombe?” She nodded, pulling out one of her cards and holding it up for him to see. It was beautiful. She had glued blue magazine cut outs on the top of the cards, which got lighter til they reached a white in the middle and to green ones at the bottom. Over it there was a heart which read “Some hockey players marry their PT, get over it” He didn’t know how she had thought of that, but it was true and funny and so Adele, Pascal had no choice but to love it.

“These are all perfect. Thank you so, so much for making them, they’ll all love them I’m sure. We can tell them to all sit down in the living room so you can give them their cards later, sounds good?” They all nodded, seemingly happy with the idea. “Now let’s clean up before they come here and don’t recognize the place, eh?” All of them nodded as they got up, Celeste telling them where to start and how to clean it.

Pascal moved to the kitchen with the tray of now empty glasses Celeste had no doubt gotten them earlier, when he heard something behind him. Once he had carefully placed down everything he turned around to see Adele standing in the kitchen, arms behind her back. He waited for her to speak for only a moment until she did. “So, you saw that we made cards for everyone, because they’re all great and we should let them know we love and support them, right?” Pascal nodded, letting her continue, “But there’s one more card I made,” Pascal had counted before, his children hadn’t forgotten a single one of his teammates, he had no clue what that last card could be for. “because it’s important that they know they’re loved right?” she continued, “that’s a really important part of all of this. So,” she slowly pulled out a card from behind her back, “this one is for exactly that. Just because someone’s not queer or questioning, doesn’t mean they’re not important this month. It’s not the main focus of it, of course, but having allies is a big part of being able to be proud of who they are for some people. I wanted to thank you for that. I could have gotten some homophobic dad like some of my classmates, but I’m really, really glad I got you.”

She handed him the card she had made, similar to the collage of magazines but in black and white stripes with a rainbow A covering it. He couldn’t help the wetness that gathered in his eyes again. And here he had thought the emotional stuff wouldn’t be until the team arrived. He walked forward and hugged his oldest daughter. “Thank you so, so much,” he whispered, since he didn’t trust himself with anything else to come out anywhere close to evenly, “Thank you, ma petite. I am so proud to have you as my daughter. You’re the best children I could have ever asked for.”

[spookypotato]

Leo - Just Leo 2

Characters by @lumosinlove

Thank you to elisa my beta <3

And thank you everyone for being invested! I did not expect people to care that much, but I'm happy you did :))

part 1

TW: coming out, anxiety, stess

He started sobbing. This is ridiculous. Everything was alright. Nothing had gone wrong. He could cry if they rejected him. He could cry, if everything he feared for became reality. He should not do it now. He had no reason to. 

Finn’s hand on his back and Logan’s on his knees, drawing small circles with his thumbs, grounded him a bit. He tried to focus on his breathing. Leo knew the process. He counted things in his head, took a few more deep breaths and the tears pretty much stopped again. He could feel a hand on his cheek. 

Finn wiped away the wetness there and Leo had to actively hold back the new ones that were threatening to roll down. He inhaled deeply. 

“There you go.”,  came in Finns voice from next to him. “Are you alright, baby?” 

Leo only nodded. He didn’t trust himself with words just yet. He should take a few minutes to calm himself down and then tell them. Bursting into tears in between his words wouldn’t be good for any of them. 

Finn’s hand stopped on his back, feeling the muscles underneath it relax. He slowly got up and went to the kitchen. 

“He’ll just get you some water. Can I do anything else for you, Nutty?”, Logan asked as he also got up to move next to Leo, his hand replacing Finns. 

Leo shook his head. He could feel his throat getting less tight and letting more air through. Maybe even enough to start the conversation, the one he wanted to have for quite a while now. 

He hadn’t practiced. He still had no clue what to say, but he had his boys next to him and his determination had returned. 

Leo downed the glass Finn had brought him. It helped, he was positive, he would get out more than a sentence without crying again. He could do this. 

“So”, he croaked out the same fucking opener he wanted to use less. Now was not the time to try to change his habits. 

“So”, he tried again. Fuck it. “I have something I wanted to talk about with you.” 

Both of his boys looked at him. He felt less nervous now that he had started and was still feeling their hands on his back and knees. He turned a bit to face them both more fully. 

Just start in some way. 

“I don’t want you to call me your boyfriend anymore.” 

And damn. He could have said anything else and it would have been less stupid. He needed to fix this. Logan’s hand was no longer on his back and Finns had simply fallen to the ground next to his feet. He looked over to Logan, who’s eyes were beginning to become shiner than usual. He looked hurt. 

Of course he looked hurt dumbass, you basically told them you want to break up with them. He hit himself mentally for his poor choice of words. 

“Leo, do you not want to be in a relationship with us anymore?”, Finn asked softly, his bottom lip worried between his teeth. 

Seeing both of them this distressed at once seemed to snap him out of his paralysis. 

“No! No, no, no, no, no. I really, really don’t. I would never. You two are the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you so much I meant it differently. I’m sorry.”, Leo had forgotten to take a breath in between. He needed to correct his mistake. He needed them to know how much they meant to him. 

Finn’s expression turned into a more relaxed one, which quickly became confused. “I love you, too. Why don’t you want to be called our boyfriend anymore though?” 

Finn left the question open ended. He provided no potential answers. He didn’t try to guess what was going on, he just asked and Leo was grateful for it. 

He started again. “If I’m going to say this, I need to say it all at once. So until I’m done with the main part, please don’t interrupt me, yeah? I don’t know where this bravery is coming from, but it’s bound to leave at some point. Can you do that?” 

He looked at Finn, who nodded. They both looked over at their boyfriend. Logan was clearly still not over the fact that, Leo almost told them he wanted to end their relationship. A few tears had rolled down his cheeks and Leo moved his hand to wipe them away, tilting his head up so green eyes met blue. 

“Can you listen to me, sweetheart?” 

Another tear rolled down Logan’s face and Leo wiped that one away too. He saw the brunet nodding. 

Okay, here goes ... everything, he thought to himself.

“I’d like you to use they/them pronouns for me, please.”, Leo saw things click behind Finns eyes, but they both knew Leo wasn’t done, so the boys listened as they continued. “I’ve thought about this for a good amount of time and I’m not completely sure how I feel, but I don’t feel like I’m a cis man. I know I’m trans. I figured that out, but I don’t know what label would fit me best yet. I do however know, I’m not a man and I’m not a woman. That’s why I’d like to try out they/them pronouns.”, their stare was fixed on the ground. Leo couldn’t bear to look their boys in the eye. They couldn’t bear a rejection. Curiosity got the better of them though, and dragged their blue eyes slowly off the ground and into brown and green ones.

Leo knew, their eyes must look stressed, nervous or even desperate, but they needed some kind of reaction. 

“If I call you Leo, are you fine with that?”, Logan’s voice came from beside him. Not disgusted or distant, just as loving and considerate as it always was. Hope bloomed in Leo’s chest. 

“Yes.”, they answered the question. “Leo is perfect. It’s gender-neutral and I like it. It makes me feel comfortable. Thank you for asking.” 

This didn’t feel real. Neither Logan nor Finn had moved a muscle in an effort to get up or scream at them or push them away. They were both simply sitting on the couch next to them, listening. 

Finn must have seen the distressed expression on Leo’s face and moved closer, his thigh touching the blonds. At least Leo now knew he couldn’t be that disgusted with them, that he couldn’t even bear to touch them. That wasn’t a lot, but it was a piece of hope Leo didn’t want to let go. 

“Peanut, baby. We love you.”, Logan moved closer to them as well, putting his hand back on Leo’s back, “We love you for you. That will never change. I don’t care what your gender is, the thing I care about is that you are you. That you’re comfortable in your own skin and feel understood and accepted and loved. Unconditionally.” 

Leo was so close to tears again and when one slipped down their cheek, they couldn’t help but let the rest stream down as well. They weren’t sad, but the pure relief they felt was enough to coat their cheeks with tears. 

Logan and Finn knew. Both of them just moved closer and hugged Leo. It was grounding and it actually slowed the sobs down that had started escaping their lips again. Just as Finn pulled back and kissed them on the cheek, Logan whispered in his ear, “Sweetheart, we love you for you, not for your gender. Nothing can change that.”

~~~

The following Monday, there was luckily no practice, so they all slept in. The doorbell was what woke them up at about 9 am. 

Finn grumbled something an got up, kissing them both, Leo on the shoulder and Logan on his cheek, maybe whispering something, but Leo was still to sleepy to care. 

What they did however care about, was Logan getting up as well, leaving them alone in their bed, cold and with no body heat to snuggle into. 

After a few minutes of rolling around, trying to get comfortable again and failing, they reluctantly got up as well. 

“Leo!”, he heard a shout from the main room. 

Answered by Finn in an almost scolding tone. “Let them sleep, Logan. They had a few stressful days.” 

It warmed Leo’s heart to hear them use their pronouns correctly, even after only a day. 

Their boys were in the living room, grinning at them like they knew something Leo didn’t. They probably did. 

Leo was almost in front of them as they pulled out, what had been behind their backs.

Light blue, pink and white was staring back at them. Logan and Finn had bought them a trans pride flag. 

Both of them were beaming and Leo couldn’t help themselves from covering their faces in kisses. They really were loved. 

“We can get another one, if you decide on a label, you like more, but we got you this. You also don’t have to keep it, we just thought you might like it.”, Finn told them.

“And it’s a part of you and as we in this household love all things Leo Knut related, we wanted to have a symbol for that. For you figuring out your feelings.”, Logan added. He got a bit quieter at the end, like he was questioning if they had done the wrong thing. 

Leo’s eyes, their fucking eyes, just didn’t want to give them a break. Tears were starting to form again and they had no way of stopping them. Logan and Finn accepted them. Not only that, they embraced Leo’s gender identity. And they had shown them, just like Eloise and Wyatt had. 

“Thank you.”, Leo got out through their tears, “I love you both so, so much.”

[onlydreamofmysoul]

The Prince and The Pornstars

Chapter Five

Something about this chapter is bugging me but I’m not sure what? I’m sorry if it feels a little rushed! I have ✨plans✨ for the next one though!

Characters by @lumosinlove

Logan 

Not to be dramatic, but Logan thought he might be losing his mind. 

Blue and brown, blonde curls and red strands, tan and freckles. Leo laughing and Finn’s smirk. Safety and uncertainty. Love and -

Well, Logan wasn’t quite sure how to finish that one yet. There was only one thing he knew - and. Every movie he’d ever seen always said or. One or the other, never both.

Logan wanted both.

Logan knew he could never have what he wanted. 

Finn was… straight? Logan didn’t know and he certainly wasn’t going to label him when he didn’t know, but minds always tend to jump to conclusions. Either way, he had a girlfriend. Who he loved. Finn was in love with a woman. 

“Hey sweetheart, what’s going on in that head?” Leo asked, running his thumb over Logan’s cheekbone as he pressed a kiss to his forehead. Logan sighed and pushed into the warm constant that was Leo, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. 

“Just thinking I guess.” He blinked slowly, their living room blurring around them slightly. 

“Yeah?”

Logan hummed, the crisp press of Leo’s shirt against his cheek. “It’s nothing, there’s just something stuck in my head but now’s not the time, there’s people arriving soon.”

“You’re thinking about Finn, huh?”

Logan looked up at Leo in surprise. “I- Yeah. Yeah, how did you know that?”

Leo smiled and brushed back one of Logan’s stray curls. “Cause I know you, Logan Tremblay. And also, because I think about him too.”

Logan’s heart stuttered. “You do?”

Leo smiled softly, opening his mouth to reply when there was a knock on their door. 

“I fucking hate people.” Logan said darkly and Leo pulled away laughing.

 “Baby, this was your idea.”

“Yeah, but now it’s getting in the way.” Logan quipped back but they shared a quick smile, knowing they’d come back to this. Leo opened the door to greet Remus and Sirius, along with Sirius’ brother, Regulus.

“Hey guys!” Leo greeted, pulling the door open wide, “Come on in!”

Remus went to set a dish he brought in the fridge and Leo and Regulus delved straight into a conversation about something neither Logan nor Sirius could understand. 

“I think they speak their own language.” Logan muttered to Sirius. Sirius just held out a bottle of rum in consolidation. Logan smiled and pulled his friend in for a hug. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”

The party was already in full swing when Finn arrived. Logan had actually begun to worry. He had rearranged the food three times, refilled more drinks than he could count and adjusted the fairy lights above the kitchen cabinets at least once. Leo came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Logan’s waist, whispering soothing words in his ears. 

“Maybe he’s not coming.” Logan said, looking around the room, full of people and yet empty still. 

“He said he would, they’re probably just late.”

Yeah. They probably were. Logan sighed and shook himself out of his thoughts. He had been looking forward to this, all of his friends were here. Leo was here. Logan was happy, he could enjoy this. He had just resolved to go talk to Noelle when there was a final knock on the door. 

Logan tried not to race over, tried not to frown when June was standing there at Finn’s side. He knew June was coming. He was the one who had invited her in the first place! So why did it make him feel like someone had stolen all the oxygen from his lungs when he saw her there?

“Hey guys, welcome, come in, come in.” Leo ushered, smiling brightly, Logan’s glimmering star. He smiled and took their coats, putting them in one of the guests rooms  before coming back to the newest members of their little soirée. “What can I get you to drink?”

Leo was talking to June, but Finn smiled at him, following Logan behind the kitchen counter. “Nothing for me, I’m driving, but I’ll take a gin and tonic for June if you have it?”

Logan gestured dramatically to the space that had become their make-shift bar for the evening. “We have everything. Do you want a soda or something?”

Finn nodded, but went to the fridge to grab it himself and Logan couldn't help but think that he belonged here. In this kitchen. With Logan and Leo. 

“So,” He said instead, “How did you and June meet?”

Finn took a long sip of his drink and Logan didn’t watch the way his lips closed around the can. His throat bobbed as he swallowed and this time Logan actually had to look away before he got too caught up in his thoughts. “Wow, it’s been so long, I can hardly remember. Maybe at a party?”

June and Leo arrived came to join them, June taking her drink from Logan gratefully before rolling her eyes at Finn. 

“Harzy, you really have the worst memory. You had a problem with your car, remember?”

“Oh right, yeah! That was it!”

Leo raised an eyebrow. Fuck, Logan loved it when he did that. “You didn’t remember how y’all met?”

Finn flushed, his freckles being overtaken by a wave of pink. “It’s not like I did it on purpose! Plus, I never claimed I had a great memory.”

“Oh I think I’d have to agree with that.” Noelle intercepted, joining in the conversation. “Because otherwise, what would your excuse be for not telling me and Lo that we both had identical maid costumes?”

Finn burst out laughing, only just managing to swallow his drink before he spat it everywhere. Logan laughed along with him, his joy contagious.

“I mean,” Finn defended, “They weren’t identical.”

“Yeah, you didn’t have a duster.” Logan said, taking pleasure in teasing his sister. Truth be told, that moment of crossing her in the hall, the two of them matching was simultaneously one of the most horrific and hilarious moments of Logan’s life.

“I think we need to do a ‘who wore it better’.” Leo chimed in and Logan looked up at his boyfriend in mild shock. 

“Quoi? There’s no question? It was obviously me!”

“Nah ah!” Noelle argued, “It was me for sure.”

Logan looked up at Leo. “Leo, my love, light of my life, who wore it better?”

Noelle clamped her hand over Leo’s mouth. “That’s cheating! Non, we must ask everyone.”

Finn scrubbed his hand across his face and Logan thought he heard a chuckle along the lines of; “Oh my god, what have I done?”

Logan bit his lip as he went with Noelle to interrogate their guests. He wondered that a little too. 

“Drive home safe!” Leo called, waving the last of their guests out of the door. He shut it, and slumped back against it, exhausted. 

“Did you know parties were this exhausting?” Logan heard him ask. “Because I  don’t remember parties being this exhausting.”

Logan chuckled as he pulled Leo into a hug, surveying their mess of a living room.  “Wanna just go to bed?”

Leo pouted, looking around helplessly. “But- the mess.”

Logan smiled and kissed him. “That’s future Lelo’s problem.”

Leo shook his head fondly, but allowed Logan to pull him into bed, the pair falling quickly into a deep sleep, tangled together under the covers. 

Logan woke to the sunlight streaming in the open curtains. He blinked, scooting up the bed when he realised Leo wasn’t there. He was just about to go looking, when Leo came into the room, two mugs of steaming coffee in hand. 

“Bon matin.” Leo smiled, handing a cup to Logan. Logan groaned as he inhaled the earthy smell infused with what he knew was a ridiculous amount of sugar, but hey that’s how he liked it. 

“Merci, thanks darling I love you.”

Leo smiled happily, lifting his mug to his lips to take a sip, having climbed back under the covers. They were both sitting so one shoulder was leaning against the headboard, sideways in the bed so they could look at each other. Leo hooked their legs together, his free hand rubbing soothing circles over a patch of skin on Logan’s ankle. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Leo asked softly. Logan didn’t have to ask what he meant. 

“You know I love you, right?” He started, his heart thundering in his chest. What if this made Leo think that Logan didn’t love him? Leo though, seemed to know Logan better than Logan knew himself. He took Logan’s hand in his, pressing a kiss to Logan’s knuckles.

“Sweetheart, of course I know that. I love you too, nothing’s gonna change that, no matter what we talk about, okay?”

Logan bit his lip. “You like him too?”

Leo let out a breath that was more like a laugh as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah. Yeah, Lo baby, I do, I really like him.”

Logan stared down onto his coffee, watching the way he could make it swirl in the mug gently. “I really like him too.” He met Leo’s eyes. “Is it okay for us to like him?”

Leo paused, tilting his head, a beam of sunlight glancing over his cheekbone. “I think so. We make it okay, right? If we want it to be okay, then it is.”

Logan’s chest hurt, his heart swelling in his chest. He moved carefully, making sure not to spill either of their coffee’s when he kissed Leo, hoping it conveyed all the jumbled up feelings and thoughts he couldn’t ever seem to put into words properly. “You’re perfect for me.”

Leo smiled and kissed him again. “And he’s perfect for us.”

Logan nodded, before a whine he didn’t make on purpose slipped between his lips. “June.”

Leo bit his lip nodding. “Yeah, June.”

Logan took their empty mugs and set them on the nightstand before curling himself into Leo’s arms. “Are we gonna be okay?”

Leo’s arms tightened around him. “Of course we’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna be just fine. I love you, I love you, I love you. I like Finn, I like him a lot and I want him. But I love you and that will always be more than enough, yeah?”

Logan nodded and Leo bent his neck to rest his head in the crook of Logan’s neck, Logan reaching up to twine his fingers in those golden curls. 

“Yeah,” He whispered, “We’re gonna be just fine.”

[moral-turpitudes]

To the Moon:

A/N: Totes cried while writing this but it’s fine.

Trigger Warnings: Angst, Descriptions of Character Death, Drinking, Pregnancy, Cancer, Fluff, Grief, etc.

Word Count: 4,225 

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Female!Reader x Anna Shelby (OC?/Daughter)

Request: “Hi this is my first request and it’s an angsty Tommy x Reader where the reader is an old flame and they didn’t work out but Thomas still loves the reader anyway, and she sends him a letter out of the blue. Apparently the reader got pregnant and had a kid but she’s really sick now and doesn’t want her kid in an orphanage. It could end in fluff but doesn’t have to.”

Requested by: @wierdestmoppet​

A/N: Get ready for some sad shit. I saw the request and this is what my mind jumped to lol. I wrote this to be set like around Season 1-ish btw.

Summary: Life and death have a way of revealing the truth within us, and it can cause things to happen at the most unexpected times. This is especially true for Thomas Shelby as he realizes not even he can stop death.

Part 1 | Part 2

“Dear Thomas,

How are you? It’s been a long while and I hope you and your family are doing okay. I know this may be out of the blue, but you know I’ve never been much for planning things. You also know that I prefer getting straight to the point, so disregard any smudged writing in advance. I’m trying to keep the tears at bay while writing this, but I figured I’d burn any bridges while I still can.

I know we parted in anger but I’d love to know if you’d forgive me for how I acted. When I left during the months after you had gotten back from France, every fiber in my being wanted to stay there with you, but I couldn’t. I had no one besides you and your family and it made me feel worse, like a burden. I was so scared you’d send me away if I told you then...so I made that decision for you and I know it destroyed you.

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that, and now of all times I’m sitting here wishing I could be back there in that dirt-covered town, walking by the cut with you just like old times...but I can’t, not in this life anyway.

It saddens me greatly to know I’ll never see your face again, but for the sake of time I’ll be blunt. A couple weeks after I left, call it karma if you will, I fell more ill and went to the doctor. When I left, my suspicions were confirmed. I was pregnant.

I fought the urge to call you though and I regret that to this day, but I’m writing this now to hopefully make up for it.

I had not been with anyone else the whole time you were deployed. But if you can think back, you’ll remember our time at the Garrison and how you’d brought me home. That night stuck with me for nine months, Thomas. I had a beautiful baby girl who I named Anna. And the best part is that she has your eyes.

With all that said, I know this is a lot to take in, but I have one dying wish. You see, I’ve been diagnosed with cancer and the doctors said I have only days left to live. I’m...I’m trying so hard not to cry because I don’t want to wake the poor girl, but I can’t go on much longer and she deserves a good life...One that I can’t give her. I’d love for her to not have to go to the orphanage, as it would break my heart. So I’m asking you to do probably one of the hardest things you’ve had to do in some time, my love. I’m asking if you’d be willing to take in our Anna?

I’ve always wanted her to meet her father, and I wanted to wait until she got older to do so...but it seems life had a way of throwing off those plans as you can see.

I just wanted to let you know in case a lovely little one year old shows up at the shop soon. I’ve sent my friend here in London to take her to you after I pass. I know you may not love me anymore Tom, but I hope that whatever love is still in your heart, you can give that to our daughter. And that you can also find a place in your heart for forgiveness, I know I have.

I’m not expecting anything else, but I truly wish you the best in life, both for you and the family. I’ll think of Anna and you when I sleep tonight. That’s about as close to being in heaven as I can think of.

With all my love,

Y/N Y/L/N”

Thomas set down the letter, hands shaking as he slid his finger over the dried ink that was smudged in various spots by her tears.

He sat there with his head in his hands, tears silently falling from his eyes as the memories came flooding back.

He had just gotten the business in line, and had a good thing going with his family. Even securing a legal betting license, but just as he’d known all his life, he couldn’t get his hopes up when it came to love. Every woman he’d ever loved seemed to have an expiration date, and this one tore him to the core.

As he sat there, the rain pattered on the windows of his office at the shop. The sound only fueling the rage inside him as he came to terms with the letter.

He had thought she’d moved because she found someone new or thought she’d gone off to find a job somewhere perhaps. But he didn’t expect this. After all, he still loved her. He was never good at showing it but he truly did love her and now she was being ripped from him without even getting to say goodbye.

He took a shot from his glass at his desk and threw it in frustration, shards exploding on the ground like tiny specs of glitter.

As he watched the shards shimmer in the dim light, he remembered the fancy envelope. Frantically picking it up and seeing a small picture hanging out of the corner that he must’ve missed before.

It was of Y/N holding Anna. Y/N had a weakened look to her as she sat on the steps of her apartment in a light green dress. It was her favorite color after all, and he knew that.

She had the brightest smile despite her frail state as well and it instantly caused him to smile too. When his eyes landed on his daughter it only grew and he felt his throat tighten as he cleared his throat, trying to keep his emotions at bay.

She indeed had his striking blue eyes though, and the beautiful color of her mother’s hair. With tears threatening to fall, he noticed she had her smile too, thanking whatever gods above that she didn’t get his toothy grin.

As he admired the picture, he remembered seeing the date and a phone number scribbled on the letter, her handwriting noticeably declining compared to when she used to write him long ago during the war.

Without a second thought, he called her number hoping she’d answer. His heart stopping for a moment as he heard static on the other end before it picked up, a faint voice saying “Y/L/N Residence.” in response.

“H-Hello, I’m sorry it’s late but this is Thomas Shelby. Is Y/N there?” He asked, his voice trembling as he wiped tears from his eyes.

“I never thought you’d call...” She said.

“You sound...different.” He said.

Y/N laughed, and he swore he could feel his heart pound at the faint sound of it.

“Death does that to ya.” She said, making light of the situation.

“Y/N...I-I got your letter. I know we don’t have much time...but I love you. I do. I-I love you so fucking much okay?” He said frantically, sitting down at his desk.

“I’m not dead yet.” She lightly chuckled.

“I know...just wanted to let you know I do love you, and that I forgive you. For everything.” He said quietly.

“I thought you’d moved on Tom...But I love to you too. I’m so sorry I’ve put you through this...” she said, breathing heavily.

“Don’t you worry sweetheart. You’ve done nothing wrong. I-uhm...I haven’t moved on. I could never move on from you, Y/N...” He said, her name on his tongue like a spark. He hadn’t said her name so often in ages.

“Did you get the picture?” She asked.

“Yes. You’re beautiful. Anna is too. Beautiful just like her mother.” He said, holding the picture in his hand.

“I was so excited when she opened her eyes. I’m so glad she has yours.” She said, her voice fading a bit as she reminisced.

“And I’m glad she has your smile my love. Can’t have her running around with a smile like mine aye?” He joked.

“Oh stop.” She chuckled.

He laughed lightly as she continued, her breathing audible over the phone.

“I’m happy the letter got to you when it did. I was trying to hold out for you both.” She said, her voice thickening as tears welled up in her eyes.

“I’m happy it did too. You’re the strongest woman I know. You know that right?” He said, wiping his own tears from his eyes as he heard her crying.

“I want our Anna to grow up strong too. Have you considered my offer?” She asked.

Thomas hesitated, his hands were shaking more than they had when first reading the letter.

“Yes. I-I don’t have a nursery yet, but I’ll be able to get things sorted in no time, alright love?” He said.

Y/N sighed with relief. “Good...you don’t know how happy that makes me. I’m...I’m holding her little hand right now. She’s got a firm grip just like her daddy.” She said, sniffling.

“Good. She can rough house with Finn when she’s older.” He said.

“Just...protect her Tommy. She’s so sweet. I love her so much...” She said, her voice weakening.

“I love you, to the moon and back you hear me? Is the nurse with you?” He asked, noticing her voice changing.

“Y-yes. My friend is too. Told her to bring Anna as soon as I go. I-I’m so scared Tom...” She said, her voice cracking as she cried.

“And I love you to the moon and back too sweetheart. I just wish I could have you here with me.” She continued.

“I know you’re scared Y/N. Just hold Anna’s little hand and listen to my voice...okay? Everything will be alright. I-I promise.” He said, his own voice cracking as more tears ran down his face.

“I’ll always protect our daughter. And I’ll tell her how much you meant to me and how much you loved her. I’ll always love you. Always, to the moon and back aye?” He said.

Her breath shallowed as she answered, the last of her strength fading as she spoke.

“I love you both. To the moon...and back.” She said, taking a final breath before her eyes closed and her body went slack, including the finger that her daughter was clutching onto while lying beside her in bed.

The line was silent as Tommy listened. His heart nearly broke when he heard Anna’s cries, and her friend and the nurse sniffling as they helped around the room.

“M-Mr. Shelby? This is the nurse. I know this is hard...but would you like her ashes or would you prefer her to have a traditional burial? She never got the chance to specify.”

He wiped his tears on his sleeve and looked out the window as the rain fell, the moon shining brightly as he gazed up.

“Traditional burial. She needs to be where she’s loved. My family will be in touch as soon as we can.” He said.

“Alright. We recommend doing it soon, tomorrow perhaps. Her friend just left with Anna and will be by your shop in the morning.” She said.

“Uhm...yeah tomorrow is fine. Bring Y/N to the fields and we’ll take care of the rest. I’ll be here at the shop when Anna gets here.” He said, his mind feeling like it was about to explode.

“Alright. I will see you tomorrow Mr. Shelby.” She said.

“Alright.” He whispered before hanging up the phone.

He frantically strode over to his whiskey stash, downing a good portion of it before he ran to the shops bathroom. The mixture of suddenly ingesting all that alcohol and his frazzled nerves taking its toll.

When he composed himself, he freshened up as best he could and splashed cold water over his face, trying to wash the memories and the rush of the alcohol away.

As he made his way back to his office, he thought to call everyone. Even if they were sleeping, this was the one time he truly needed everyone in the family.

“Polly? It’s me. I’m going to need uhm...a crib...and a funeral lined up in the fields. Can you bring the crib here to the shop? I-I guess I’ll need anything baby related.” He stammered.

“Holy mother...slow down please! What are you talking about?!” She asked tiredly through the phone.

“It’s Y/N...yes...her....she left me because she was pregnant and she had the baby and she’s mine. Her name is Anna and she’ll be here in the morning. Y/N she uhm...she died. I just talked to her as she passed alright? She ended up having fucking cancer. She wrote to me and...and it was her dying wish that I take care of Anna for her. I need everyone here. This is the one thing I can’t do alone, Poll.” He said frantically.

Polly stayed silent as she processed what was said, he could hear her sniffling as she spoke.

“Christ have mercy....I’ll call everyone in. You try to get some sleep even if you’re lying on the shop floors. You can’t take care of your daughter drunk like that. I can hear it in your voice.” She said before hanging up.

Polly quickly got ready, waking up little Finn and sadly explaining to him what happened. Together they gathered an old crib from when Ada stayed over with Karl a couple nights, and she found some baby food and diapers.

Next on her list was to call Ada as she had more things at the ready, and she and the rest of the blinders were just as shocked as the news rolled in.

2 hours had passed and Tommy had forced himself to lie down with his coat draped over him on his office floor. The half empty bottle of whiskey smashed to pieces from when he’d gotten off the phone with Polly.

His eyes were blood shot and moving rapidly under his closed eyelids, dreams of coming to save Y/N from the inevitable somehow threatening his mind as he watched her disappear like a ghost. His eyes flew open though as he heard the shop doors close. His tragic slumber interrupted further by numerous heavy boots on the floor.

He sat up slowly, trying to smooth out his hair and putting his coat on as the draft from the cool night air crept in through the creaky floors and window sills.

He sat there on the floor, not having the strength to get up as Polly and the rest of his blinder brothers came into the dark room.

“Tommy...Polly told us what’s happened. I’m so sorry...” Ada said, holding a large bag of everything baby related that she could find. Little Finn held a small crib and Polly had a blanket in her arms as well as a small bag of food.

“Everything was fine a couple hours ago, I was just ‘bout to go home then I saw the letter on my desk...” He said, wishing selfishly that he could turn back time.

“Look mate...we have your back. Just tell us what ya need done and we’ll do it. It’s a family meeting after all.” John said, nervously biting the toothpick in his mouth.

“I...I spoke with the nurse. She said they recommend having the funeral tomorrow. We’re having it in the field like we usually do. It’s what she would’ve wanted probably. I couldn’t let them burn her and stuff her in some urn. She deserves better. God damn it...” He said putting his head in his hands. He’d always been the one in control. He’d always had a solid plan, a solid mode of attack, but this was something he had no control over. Just as much as life had control over death. It was all out of his hands.

“I’ll go get Johnny Dogs and the Lee’s help with all that, you stay here Tom.” John said, kissing Esme goodbye as he went out into the night.

“Oi, brother do you want me to go with him? I promise I won’t do anything this time.” Arthur said, crouching down by his brother and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t care, as long as Anna gets here safely and as long as Y/N can have a decent place to be buried in. That’s all I’m on about now. Fuck the rivalries, for one day.” He said. It wasn’t like him to stop condoning a lot of violence, but perhaps this made him have a change of heart.

He glanced at the photo she sent him, his eyes glossing over as he held it in his shaking hands.

“She has my eyes.” He said, his own filling with tears that not many of his family had seen in so long.

“She’s beautiful.” Polly said, sitting by him on the floor. Little Finn helped set the crib down and Esme and Ada helped clean up the mess Tommy had made.

“She is...” he said.

Around 4 hours later, John and some of the Lee’s returned and told them they’d gotten everything set up and Tommy had met with the nurse. She was dressed in a black dress and a black coat, and holding a silver necklace with a light green stone in it. It was Y/N’s that Tommy had given her before he went off to war.

“She wanted you to keep this, to give to Anna...she thought maybe as an 18th birthday gift would be nice...” She said, wiping a tear from her eye.

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.” He said, putting the necklace in his jacket, clasping the button on the small pocket so it was secure.

As the night blurred into the morning, Polly and Esme napped in the chairs as Tommy rested his head at his desk. Finn and the rest all finding places to doze off to in various corners of the shop.

As much as Thomas hated everyone sleeping uncomfortably, he knew it was good they were here. He needed the support whether his pride liked it or not.

It was around 6 am when the nurse arrived again, letting him know Y/N’s funeral things were all set up. And it wasn’t long after that a small car pulled up. A woman with blonde hair and a black dress getting out quickly as she reached for the little girl.

Her faint cries were heard as Thomas watched from the doorway, alert and ready to do what he had to do for the coming days, and eventually years.

“Hello Mr. Shelby. My name is Jess. I was a good friend of Y/N’s. Here’s your daughter. I hope she’ll be a comfort to you.” She said quickly as she handed her to him.

He nervously cradled her into his arm as she squirmed in defiance at first. The new person holding her making her only want her mother more.

“Hey...hey...shhh. It’s alright love. It’s okay. Daddy’s here. It’s okay.” He cooed, carefully swaying a bit as he held her. As she adjusted to her new surroundings, she gradually stopped crying, her bright blue eyes opening and landing on her fathers face. Tears were coating her cheeks as she looked up at him in silence, curiously as she took in the man holding her.

“It’s okay. I promise.” He said, gently wiping her tears as he carried her inside.

Polly and the girls gasped quietly so as not to startle her too much. But she cried nonetheless, the new people overwhelming her. Tommy cooed again and gave her his finger to hold, helping her out of her crying fit.

“You’re a natural Tommy. Must’ve been all the babysitting when we were little.” Ada said, as she watched her niece slowly stop crying.

“I can only hope so.” He said, looking down at his little girl. John and Arthur and the others came near as quietly as they could, watching as she had a death grip on Tommy’s finger.

“She’s a strong little bugger. Finn you’ll have to show her the ropes ya know.” Arthur said, Finn looked on curiously at his new niece and nodded.

“Not till she’s older. We have to protect her alright, Y/N will strike me down if we don’t.” Tommy said, smiling a bit as he wondered where her soul was now.

“How about we let you be? We’ve set everything up in your office, so it should suffice until later today when you can take her home. The funeral is at noon. So everyone get home and get ready and meet at the field.” Polly said, before patting Thomas’ shoulder. He was in shock at the nights events, but his daughter luckily helped him from spiraling too far down.

The hours leading up to the funeral were spent trying to feed and change her and having Polly come back early to show him the ropes. Anna was dressed in a small black dress and wrapped in the soft blanket Polly had brought, her cries echoing throughout the shop as everyone gathered their things.

“She’s gonna be a little hell-raiser, I already know.” Polly said.

“Good. Maybe she can take over this place someday aye?” Tommy said, placing his cap on as Polly nestled her into the car with her.

“If she wants to that is.” Polly said, closing the door and looking at the little bundle. Tommy started the car and drove off towards the fields, the bonfire sending smoke into the air upon their arrival.

Tommy stopped the car and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he sat there.

“Are you alright? We can take a minute if you need it Tom.” Polly asked, putting her hand in his shoulder.

He wiped a stray tear from his eye and ran a hand over his face before looking back at his little girl. Her eyes wandering over him as he sat there.

“No. I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine, we just have to say goodbye that’s all.” He said, getting out of the car and gently picking up Anna.

She protested at first, her eyes welling up with tears as she looked around, but they stopped once she saw her fathers face. He was grinning slightly at her and stroking her hair, trying to make sure she was alright.

“She’s okay. She’s probably bloody overwhelmed, poor thing. It’ll be like that for a while, but you can do this Thomas.” Polly said, walking towards the field.

“We can do this right Anna? We have to say bye to mummy alright? It’ll be okay my love.” He said, her cries stopping as he walked with her in his arms and towards the wagon and the bonfire.

The smoke invaded everyone’s lungs as the flames grew around the wagon. Everyone who knew her back when they dated coming together to say some nice words or to offer up small prayers.

Tommy couldn’t say anything, fearing he’d break down, but he stood there holding their daughter, throwing a rose towards the flames and silently thinking of her. Hoping she’d watch over them while she was up there.

As the ceremony ended, he wiped a stray tear away and carried the little girl around the remains of the fire, trying to think of a plan for their new life.

Anna mumbled as he sat with her on a nearby log, giving her rose petals to play with from one of the leftover bouquets.

“Those were your mums favorite.” He said, hearing her mumbling in baby babble.

“M-mama.” She said lightly, looking out at the fire. Thomas felt his throat closing as she said it, wishing nothing more than to bring her back.

“Yes love...Mama is gone but dads got ya now love. She loved you so much...” He said, tear running down his cheek as he kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him as he held her on his lap, still gripping his hand like a security blanket and smiling like Y/N.

Over the next couple months they both grew used to each other’s company. She was babbling more and not crying as much, but she could always sense something was missing. Thomas was home more now than he’d ever been, always keeping an eye on her and taking her to the shop when he’d go to work. Everyone loved her though, as they all took turns watching the little girl.

“She’s doing so well. I know Y/N would be proud, Tommy.” Ada said, patting his shoulder as he stood at the window, looking at the night sky.

“She would aye? I’m seeing more of Y/N in her each day. Only a matter of time before she takes Finn out though.” Tommy said smirking.

“I can’t wait to see that.” Ada said, slowly walking away to do her paperwork.

Tommy walked in his office to see Finn playing with her, giving her random toys as she sat up in a chair, and watching her throw them to the side as soon as she saw her father.

She smiled her little smile and threw her hands up towards him as he walked to her, crouching down and scooping her up as she giggled.

In the silence between them he’d often look up after the long day and see the moon, hoping Y/N would be looking back at them from up there, and he’d whisper to himself that they were alright, hoping in some way she’d know they were.

Tag List:

(If you’d like to be added/removed just shoot me an ask!) :)

@msbzowy, @nofckingfighting, @aranoburns, @sighonahurricane, @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes, @gaytommyshelby, @wowjeena, @fifty-shadesof-tommyshelby, @inglourious-imagines, @thebloodyshelbys, @tsolomons, @blinder-secrets, @reveparade, @shelby-fanatic, @ta-ka-shi-ma, @psychkunox, @peakyxtommy, @captivatedbycillianmurphy,@dreamwastakenx, @lovemissyhoneybee @thomashelbyswhore​

[gay-otlc]

Keepers of the Chaos (Chapter 2)

Summary: Tam, Linh, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh's podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing, food, L*ura

Word count: 2005

Notes: Check out the beautiful theme song here!

(Read on AO3)

Sophie rolls her eyes as she opens the link her girlfriend sent her and puts in her earbuds. Biana has been incessantly pestering her to watch Keepers of the Chaos for so long that Sophie half wants to watch it just to shut her up, but she's always tired, or busy, and she doesn't really like watching new things. Still, Biana asked her very nicely to listen to this one podcast, and she looked very pretty when she asked, so Sophie's dumb omni ass couldn't refuse.

"Welcome to the Twins of the Chaos podcast," it begins after loading for an obnoxiously long time. The girl speaking has a pretty voice, Sophie has to admit- sweet and melodic and vaguely amused.

Maybe listening to this podcast won't be so bad if she can listen to that girl's voice the whole time.

But another person speaks, adding "Where some chaotic twins discuss our favorite show, Keepers of the Chaos," and his voice is not as pretty. She continues listening anyway, since Biana may or may not murder her if she stops.

The two voices- whose names are Linh and Tam, apparently- start talking about Keepers of the Chaos some more, giving Sophie a summary she's heard tons of times from Biana and Fitz- though the twins explain it slightly more coherently and with less... whatever the verbal equivalent of keyboard smashing is. Biana usually starts rambling about her favorite characters, like Lynn- not "Lynn the fandom mom," but the other Lynn- and Avery, or sometimes Nora and Darwin. Sophie doesn't understand any of those names and loses track of the conversation as soon as it involves too many unfamiliar names.

But Tam and Linh are making more sense, at least for the most part, until they start mentioning specific couples. The conversation gets again comprehensive soon enough, though, and Sophie does smile at the name "The Dark Duck."

By the end, when Tam says "half of them wearing sleeping masks with teal eyes painted on and the other half watching the chaos with mild amusement," Sophie is curious enough to be mildly intrigued. She listens to their outro music, and before she can regret it, types out a text message to Biana.

Sophie: fine

Sophie: ill watch it

Biana responds instantly with an array of heart emojis. Sophie blushes.

Biana: can i come over and watch with u?

Sophie: ok!

Sophie: moms making mallowmelt

Sophie: but u cant have any

Biana: >:(

Biana: hope u like being single then

Sophie: fine u can have some mallowmelt

Biana: yayyyy!

Biana: ily

Sophie: ilyt

Sophie: now lets watch ur stupid show

Biana: on my way!!!

Sophie smiles, shaking her head. She's a little annoyed, but fine, it sounds interesting enough from the podcast. And what else would she be doing? Studying? Having US history as an alternative would make even the most horrible of shows seem good. She stuffs her textbooks into her backpack and shoves some things out of the way so her room looks a bit neater before rushing downstairs. The mallowmelt smells good enough to make her mouth water.

"Mmm..." she sighs, barely taking time to let it cool off before taking a large bite. "That's so good. Thanks, Mom."

Edaline  smiles. "You're welcome. Just save some for your father and I."

"Fine, fine. I have to share with Biana, anyway." Sophie huffs and takes another bite. "She's coming over, is that alright? We're going to watch a show together."

"Sure, just make sure to get your homework done."

Sophie rolls her eyes. "Fine."

"And keep the door open!" Grady calls. Edaline laughs as Sophie's face flames.

"I'm going back to my room," she grumbles, taking a plate of mallowmelt with her and walking up the stairs. She manages not to trip over her own feet and drop the mallowmelt, thankfully, as she grabs her laptop and opens Netflix. Sighing, she searches for Keepers of the Chaos and clicks on the show that comes up before waiting for Biana to arrive.

The doorbell rings soon, and Sophie carefully sets down her laptop and her plate on her bed before rushing down the stairs. Panting slightly, she opens the door for her girlfriend. Biana's wearing a t-shirt with the Amsterdam flag on it. Sophie has no idea why. Maybe Biana likes the country? Her girlfriend is pretty weird. "Come on in," she says, realizing she's been staring. In her defense, Biana is pretty and Sophie is very omni.

"Ready to go watch Keepers of the Chaos?" Biana asks. She bounces on her toes slightly.

"Alright," says Sophie. "I set it up on my laptop in my room."

"Awesome! You'll love it."

Sophie follows Biana up the stairs and into her room. They sit on the bed together, Sophie leaning against the wall and Biana leaning against Sophie, and Biana presses play. Somber kazoos begin playing in the background as the theme song starts.

We're on the edge of chaos

No one is straight

We're making fanart

Because L*ura we hate

And we're gonna have teal eyes in the end!

We must be weird, and we must be gay

(We must be gay!)

We will find every bit of sanity that we have

And give it all to Lynn

Ohhhh

We must be gay!

Biana dances a little along with the song, and Sophie can't help but smile. A curvy, round-faced person with short dark hair and colorful earrings plays a few notes on the piano, and then a KEEPERS OF THE CHAOS logo flashes across the screen. Then, a group of students sit in a classroom.

"Shai! Tater! Lynn! You three finally got together?" says the same person who just played piano, gesturing to a redhaed wearing a Sappho lesbian flag cape. She's holding the fingerless-gloved hand of a lanky person with brightly colored hair, and they're holding hands with a tall girl who has chin length brown hair. The rest of the class applauds the fiancees before returning to their own conversations.

"Yep! Thanks, Ink," says Tater.

Ink smiles at them and turns to a person with light brown skin and golden hoop earrings partially covered by long dark hair. "Hi, Kiri, how was your break?"

"Good! Here's to a good 2021?" Kiri turns to the person next to them. "How about you, Ref?"

Ref has short brown hair and red glasses. "Yeah, my break was dOPE," she says, leaving everyone to wonder how he did that with their voice. "oH, and happy belated Hanukkah to Shai!"

"Thanks, you too. And guess what! I didn't set my hair on fire this year!"

A short guy with strawberry blonde hair looks concerned. "Um. Congratulations?"

"Thanks, Sam!"

Sophie looks away from the screen and at Biana. "There are a lot of characters..." she mutters.

"Yeah, but you get to know them well enough eventually," says Biana. "Now shh, let's keep watching!"

A lot of other characters are introduced in various conversations, and Sophie's brain has a hard time keeping track of them all. She does remember Tara, a curvy, bored-looking girl with long sideswept bangs, and Blue, a bisexual who may or may not be an arsonist. She doesn't know either of their personalities very well yet, but she likes them so far. Lucat, a pale, blue haired asexual, who later joins the Hanukkah conversation, also seems cool.

Once quite a bit of introductions are done- Sophie lost count at around twenty something- are over, an announcement comes over the school's loudspeakers.

"Welcome back, Tumblr High School!" announces a voice. "I hope you all had a good break. Now, the Tumblr staff have an important announcement for you all. High schools in this county, like ours, Pinterest High School, and Instagram High School, will be holding a competition. All members of the winning team will receive a scholarship to AO3 college. If you are interested, meet in room 69 after school. Now, onto other announcements..."

Somber kazoos play again as the principal's droning voice fades into the background. A montage of the previously introduced characters wishing they could go to AO3 college moves across the screen. After a few minutes of them zooming through school and talking about how fucking boring it is, all of them gather in the room (some of them with more jokes than others) to discuss the competition.

A blonde woman welcomes them into the room. They wait a while to make sure no one else will arrive, but once everyone is there, the woman clears her throat. "Hello, everyone! I'm glad you're interested in joining the competition. My name is Shannon Messenger, and I'm in charge of admissions at AO3 College. My coworker L*ura and I designed this competition."

Sophie gasps and looks at Biana. "L*ura? But isn't that the person they hate? They said that in the intro!" Biana smiles at her, and she blushes as she realizes that she's kind of... maybe... invested in the show now. She decides she'll endure the "I told you so"s later and looks back at the show, trying to telepathically tell the characters not to trust this L*ura person... and perhaps not Shannon either. It's too early to tell whether Shannon will be an antagonist or not.

"All of you will be working as a team to write a story together. The main premise is that a twelve year old girl named Sophia is a telepath, but she can't tell anyone her secret. Then, she meets a teal-eyed boy named Finn, and he tells her that she's an elf. She travels back to the elf world with him, where she struggles a bit at the elf school Firefox, makes friends with some other elves, learns that she is an illegal creation of a rebel group called the Dark Duck, and another rebel group- the Rarelynoticed- tries to kidnap and kill Sophia and her friend Deck. There are other details to be included into the story, which will be given out to the participants as a packet. The object of this competition is not to determine your ability at coming up with story ideas, but your ability to work in groups and execute well developed ideas. Does anyone have any questions?"

Someone raises their hand- a short, tanned girl. "Lynn?" prompts the principal.

"Did you say the rebel group was named the Dark Duck?"

"And the Rarelynoticed?" adds another person, with rectangular glasses and a red bracelet.

"Raise your hand before speaking, Auran," scolds the principal. "But yes, those are the names."

"Alright then," Auran mutters.

"Unless anyone else has questions, we'll be sending out sign up forms for everyone interested, and then we will distribute the information packets about your story. You can talk to each other and start planning."

No one else has questions, so once they've all filled out the sign up form, they gather in small groups and flip through the packets, making sarcastic comments or mocking names ("'Rarelynoticed' though-" a stylish hijabi named Raiin sighs as they come across a page of information about the group) as they try to form some semblance of a plan. Once they all agree that they've made a lot of progress, they make plans to meet up again soon and walk back home.

Unbeknownst  to them, a pair of ominous teal eyes watch from above.

Somber kazoos play once again, and the credits roll.

"So, what'd you think?" Biana asks as Sophie closes her laptop.

Rather inaudibly, Sophie mumbles "It was good."

"What was that?"

"It was good! I liked it!"

Biana grins. "I told you so." She leans over and kisses Sophie on the cheek. "Thanks for watching it. I have to go do some homework, awesome seeing you!" As she walks out, Sophie hears her singing under her breath. "We must be gay..."

[nightcoremoon]

it's evident people haven't watched enough kids media to adequately understand just what constitutes a kids show as opposed to a show that kids can watch and be entertained by

when I was a kid I watched king of the hill and blues clues (among other things). king of the hill is NOT a kids show by any stretch of the imagination; it is an adult animation, replete with fairly heavy subject matter, sexual themes, political humor, cultural references that kids won't understand, discussion of religion in the modern day, depression and suicidal thoughts, adultery, puberty and sexual awakenings, body image, propane, propane accessories, and ultimately above all else what it means to be family. and blues clues is a show about a man who plays with a shovel & pail, talks to his condiments and mailbox, and sometimes he teleports into the felt dimension, all while playing Sherlock Holmes hercule poirot with his dog, and teaching kids how to count and draw and recognize colors and learn their ABCs. do you see the fucking difference? no? then I'll make it more clear.

dora the explorer & go diego go, mickey mouse clubhouse, handy manny, octonauts, bob the builder, super why, wild kratts, zoboomafoo, jojo's circus, wow wow wubbzy, stanley, doc mcstuffins, max & ruby, wonder pets, bubble guppies, ni hao khai lan, backyardigans, little einsteins, caillou (ugh) and p*w p*trol (double ugh), these are all undeniably kids shows. their audience is children (and the occasional adult by age with severe intellectual disabilities) and maybe the parents whose brains are too fried to care what's on the tv. these shows main purpose is to educate while entertaining on subjects one would encounter in preschool and kindergarten. counting 1-10, ABCs, basic color, basic language, basic intrapersonal skills, basic emotional literacy, problem solving, using your imagination, what sounds do animals make, breaking the fourth wall to ask the audience to answer what's 2+2 or tell them a lesson they learned today like I LEARNED TO NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER or some simple message like that. it's always light, there's no edgelord grimdark "what if they were dead the whole time" bullshit. it's just good clean simple wholesome [except for paw patrol] programs for kids to be distracted for a little bit of time, while also letting them walk away having said they learned something. at least half of the time dedicated to every single one of these shows is devoted to the same shit over and over again. I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map WE FUCKING GET IT YOURE THE MAP! backpack backpack I'm the backpack loaded up with things and knickknacks too, anything that you might need I've got inside for you. we did it we did it we did it HOORAY! come on vamanos everybody let's go, come on let's get to it, I know that we can do it,

WHERE ARE WE GOING

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

THESE SONGS ARE BURNED INTO MY BRAIN AND THEYLL BE STUCK IN MY HEAD UNTIL I DIE

say click take a pic, the hot dog dance, CAN HE FIX IT???, pizza! spaghetti!, THE DOC IS IN AND SHELL FIX YOU UP, max & ruby ruby & max max & ruby ruby & max MAX & RUBY RUBY & MAX MAX & RUBY RUBY & MAX, wonder pets wonder pets we're on our way to help the friend and save the day, we're not too big and we're not too tough but when we work together we've got the right stuff, goooOOO WONDER PETS YAAAAY~, yoooour backyard friends the backyardigans (weve got the whole wide world in our yard to explore, thATS WHY EVERY DAY WEEEEERE BACK FOR MOOOORE), were going on a trip in our little rocket ship SOARING THROOOOOUGH THE SKY!!! little einsteins!

I swear to god I've been forced to watch so much children's television in my life it's no wonder there's no room left for serotonin executive function or the ability to speak to morons

point is I know my way around kids shows. my sisters were born in 98, 02, 05, 06, 10, and 18, I think, I don't even know because they're all a blur, I'm literally closer in age to my parents than to my youngest sibling, I never stopped being exposed to kids shows. I know what is and is not a kids show.

adventure time? not a kids show even though kids watch it. it's a "for everyone" show. it's got a target audience of 100% of the planet. steven universe? not a kids show even though kids watch it. miraculous ladybug? not a kids show even though kids watch it. scooby doo? not a kids show even though kids watch it. I'm not discussing the history of adult acceptance of animation, adult animation, or anime, so don't ask. dexter's laboratory. the grim adventures of billy & mandy. codename kids next door. teen titans. fairly oddparents. kim possible. invader zim. AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER. totally spies. courage the cowardly dog. the proud family. SPONGEBOB F*ING SQUAREPANTS. powerpuff girls. foster's home for imaginary friends. oh yeah you know what's coming next. my little goddamn pony friendship is mother fucking magic is not. a. kids. show. even though kids can watch it. it is a cartoon. it is an everyone show. that's why it's disingenuous and fucking stupid to decry any fan over the age of 7 as a pedophile and a weirdo creep; it participates in the infantilization of femininity. why is it ok for 20somethings to keep watching aang and squidward and finn & jake and zim and "return the slab" and everyone's totally fine wth that but when it's twilight sparkle suddenly everyone's like whoa you're a huge fucking loser for watching this girly wussy baby show for girly wussy babies. oh some bronies are sex crazed perverts? I'm sorry have you seen just how much porn there is for spongebob? oh some bronies are cringe? I'm sorry have you met half the steven universe fandom? oh some bronies are fascist rick sanchez kinnies with fedoras and katanas? BREAKING BAD FANS, HELLO!?!?!?

this is such a stupid tiring boring argument. maybe magic talking horses being friends and turning their friendship into magic rainbow nuclear fucking arms and blasting the evil out of a demon and turning her into the coolest fucking half-unicorn biker lesbian in the world is something that brings me, and adult, pure wholesome joy, in between bojack horseman and dark souls and breaking bad and deftones and fallout new vegas and jojo and cannibal corpse and other bleak depressing edgy shit that also brings me comfort. and MAYBE me at 16 starting to watch MLP:FIM becoming finally comfortable with the outward public expression of "traditionally feminine" interests is the main reason why I realized I was a girl when I did, and MAYBE I just like how pretty the colorful ponies look, AND MAYBE I KIN WITH ONE OR TWO OR EIGHT CHARACTERS, WHAT OF IT?

AND MAYBE ITS LITERALLY THE BEST LONG RUNNING FANTASY TV SERIES ON THE MARKET RIGHT NOW* SINCE GAME OF THRONES FUCKING SUCKS

but whatever, kids watch it sometimes so it's illegal for anyone who's not a kid to enjoy it, but only if it's something girly because liking girly things is bad because girliness is inherently bad, and the only things that are good have predominantly male casts*. right? right??? wrong, fucker. g4mlp has so much more in common with adventure time & atla than with blues clues or dora the fucking explora...r.

but keep in mind I'm saying this while hugging a blues clues plushie my grandma gave me for valentine's day because it reminds her of when I was a baby because I may not watch blues clues but it still means a lot to me for nostalgia and is 50% of the reason why I love ray charles. kids media isn't necessarily bad. I still do enjoy watching it with my little sisters. all this is is me being anal about categorization because I'm autistic and I LIVE for categorizing everything.

*besides atla obviously

[oh-theres-a-woman]

Flowers in a Peaked Cap; Prologue

A/N; The very first Shelby Sister story that I’ve written, I wanted to give her a little bit of a whimsical vibe. A young woman with her head in the clouds, closer to her gyspy roots in loving to be on the road and travelling. Instead, she’s contempt with staying with her family in Small Heath. Pouring her soul out onto paper into the long hours of the night without her brother’s knowledge. After all, most of the tales she writes is about the glory days before the war. 

Due to the request of her being much like the love Luna Lovegood, I thought it was fitting that Tillie’s face claim was the lovely Evanna Lynch. 

Thought I’d add a few extras to the tag list whom I thought might like this story!!! 

Requested By; @csigeoblue​

Parts; [ 1 ]

Taglist; @zodiyack​, @itsfrancisneptun​, @amys-small-world​, @fandom-fucking-shit​, @hesagod-notyet​, @hinagiku0​, @dylanlover24​, @amirahiddleston​, @a-dorky-book-keeper​, @theamuz​, @csigeoblue​ & @smallheathgangsters​

Word Count; 1021

Mornings light these bought in the oddest sorts from the streets into the betting shops, not that Tillie minded at all. She watched all unfold from her place on the stairs. Minding her own business, taking in each character pinned on a bet. Making up a story for every single one of them. Of course, she already knew the regulars, but there was no fun in that. Tillie liked to think of the whimsical things as her Aunt and brothers went about their workings, well, all except Finn. He tried, yet, seemed to get in the way. A lot. 

Nibbling at her nails the girl poked her tongue out at her twin brother, teasingly. After he’d been told off for getting in the way of the others. Watching Finn scrunch up his face at the teasing gesture. The girl picked herself up from the confine of her stairway. Wandering away from the quietest place in Betting Shop. She landed herself beside her oldest brother Arthur. “Do you lot need me ta do anything then?” Tillie asked Art with a light purse of her lips. “Or can I go that reading from the store down the Lane, they have some interesting ones out at the moment. Read about them in the paper,” The girl beamed only to be shut down by her older brother, a frown creasing her brow. 

“Oi, don’t you be giving me that look. Those readings are a bloody waste of money,” he flicked Tillie’s brow for the end of his point being made. She rubbed the tingling spot in her knitted brow that hurt from the flick. Ignoring her brother’s laughter; Finn. They’d always had this happen of laughing at each other if they got in the shit. Honestly, it was a family trait that followed them all through in some regard. The older boys; Arthur, Thomas and John, however never really laughed at Tillie like they did Finn. 

She was a different sort; more sensitive than the lot of them. Often found herself blue and down when not about to run free. Or get lost in her own imagination. Unlike the gangsters in the family. Sweet, dear, Tillie was the soul of a writer. Enjoying days like these to just wander down the Lane towards the quietly kept bookshop. Where many creative souls, mostly men read their tales. The youngest Shelby never had the balls to stand up and speak before a massive crowd, let alone a few people here and there. Today was to be the chance, but it was going South so quickly. 

“It’s not that kind of readin’, please, Art?” Tillie asked with a number of growing tears in her eyes, before the eldest shook her off once more. 

“No, go back to whatever you were doing prior, aye. You’re getting in the way, Till.” The Shelby eldest warned and watched her drag back up the stairs, head eased against the stairs. Not at all a lady-like appearance, but it felt like an active protest. 

Thomas watched his sister from where he stood in the shop, looking to Arthur with a sigh. There were other ways to put things than expressing someone’s piece of enjoyment was a waste of money. Plus, there’ll come the  day where Tillie would become smart enough to use their own pleasures against them; whores, booze and Tokyo. He didn’t know of the little world inside her head; but he knew that she was elsewhere compared to them. Her world was the fairytales they all thought and dreamed of during the war, or back when Finn and Tillie were little babies that needed stories to sleep.

He also knew, just by looking at his sister that she was tireder than normal. However, dressed in her favourite and cleanest dress. One that Pol had made a big deal about getting for her birthday. It had suited the lush blonde hair that she had gained from their mother’s side. Uncle Charlie had light hair as well, so it was mostly the strong family trait. Yet, the cream accents of the dress made the Shelby blue of her eyes stand out a little moment. In the braided bun she always had pinned into place, there were flowers neatly tucked in there. Making her look every bit the gyspy, but also like a proper lady should in some regard. 

Ink stained her hands that rested over her stomach, ignoring the rest of the things going on. Before she got the balls to nick back upstairs. Slamming her door behind Arthur’s protest about her staying at the stairs. The Shelbys’ needed to present as a united front. That was the bullshit that they kept selling, and spilling. Tillie else her back against the door to her bedroom, sighing softly looking at the sight of her novel bound and perfectly ready for the reading at the bookstore. 

It was her chance to get it published, the tales of some sort of fantasy epic she hadn’t quite found the name for yet. Something that was perfect for the children with a wee bit of kindling for spiriting away.

So, she tucked her novel; complete. Within a scathe bag, and flung it over her shoulder. Opening the window. Tillie carefully climbed across the neighbours fence, then jumped down into the streets of Watery Lane. Dashing through the puddles not caring at all for them soaking her stockings. There was just a wild excitement with her heart. Finally, Tillie would be given the chance to read her stories and spark a chance for them to possibly be published. 

Become something for herself that her brother’s never knew was in her whimsical soul. Perhaps, she was a little bit like that orphan girl Montgomery wrote about. Tillie just had an overbearing and protective family that feared that she’d end up like Ada… Only Pol knew of these tales and often spoke of how they’d sell millions of copies worldwide. They’d be the voices for little children need to learn their little lessons in life.

Before anything though, it’s author needed to to find her path and come into her own.

[cora-vizsla]

Okay, okay, Star Wars Asks! Is 1 to 10 too much? o_O If so, just choose some that tickle your fancy ;)

*cracks knuckles* Alright here we go!

1. Jedi or Sith? Sith. I know they aren't *good* right? Which they aren’t. I agree with you 100%. I just can’t agree with the “the light is good and the dark is bad” thing. It’s not plausible. No one is perfect. There is good and bad in all of us and the good wouldn’t be nearly as good if we didn’t also appreciate the bad. 

2. Rebels or Empire? This is *hard* for me to answer. I think they both genuinely mess up with their ideals. The difference is I'm more likely to sympathize with the Rebels because their leader isn’t Creepy Ass PalpatineTM. However I've seen first hand organizations have the very best intentions end up ruining lives. Small tidbit about myself, I served in the military. I don’t advertise it often because of the climate against the military (which I actually agree with honestly) and it left a really sour taste in my mouth. I joined to help people. Like genuinely help people as a medic. What I ended up seeing was a group of people that adopted the kill or be killed mentality with people they should have been trusting. BUT THIS IS GETTING OFF TOPIC. So, probably Rebels because they aren’t run by a dickhead :)

3. Favorite character from Prequels? This is hard but probably Obi-Wan. He’s a genuinely nice person and cares so much about everyone. He doesn’t do it because he feels like he HAS to, that’s just how he is. Is he sassy? Yes. Is he sarcastic? Also yes. Is he ruggedly handsome and someone I would actually feel safe sleeping around? Also yes. I see no drawbacks here.

4. Favorite character from original trilogy? This is also hard. I’d love to say my man Boba but I wasn’t really interested in him until I got older. I’d have to go with Leia. She showed me at a young age that it’s perfectly acceptable to not take anyones shit. She was the perfect mix of royalty but also punch you in the face if you pissed her off. I loved it. Coming from a girl that was always told that I was just *too much* all the time, seeing a strong woman on my tv who was also *too much* warmed my heart and gave me a lot of confidence to not take anyones shit.

5. Favorite character from the sequel trilogy? Finn. I wasn’t even sure of my answer until I started writing this. Finn saw how corrupt and wrong it was where he was and he left. He risked his life to leave. Did he only save Poe because he was a pilot? Maybe. However, he got out of there and that alone (not even counting how much he did after that) is so courageous and terrifying. Standing up to something that you have been conditioned to obey isn’t cowardly. He was so much braver than the movies ever gave him credit for.

6. Do you have any ships? Hmm. I don’t hate any of the ships. As long as it isn’t like incest or underage stuff obviously. I think StormPilot was there and Disney just stepped on it because people would be angry there was a gay couple. 

7. If you could choose any profession to have in the GFFA, what would you be? I honestly think I'd be a senator if given the chance. Other than entirely blowing up the system *looking at you, Hux* there isn’t any other way to create change. Politics are hard but there were good senators in that group that just fell for Palps shit. 

8. Weapon of choice? My aim is about as good as a storm trooper so saber. Probably saber staff but I'd need practice because I constantly hit myself with mine haha.

9. What food from Star Wars would you want to try? Oh man. Most of it looks pretty gross to be honest haha. Rey’s ration packs remind me of being stuck in the field. That blue milk makes me want to gag. I think I would eat most things out of necessity but none of it is like “oh wow I need to try that!”

10. Which character do you feel is most like you? Almost every quiz I've taken I've gotten Obi-Wan. I’m the friend that people come to when they need advice or someone to listen. I generally am down for helping out and giving advice (if they want it of course). I’m more likely to try to talk things out than anything else. I’m sassy and sarcastic but truth is I'm hurt most often because of how much I care about people. It doesn’t stop me though. I’ll continue to care and take care of people probably until the day I leave this earth. 

[waywardwrestlewritingwaif]

The Guardian’s Oath, Part Sixteen

Here it is, my beautiful readers, the last part of this ongoing saga! This was something that I originally thought I’d complete around mid-October, so that I could continue with a couple of other Halloween-themed pieces I had in mind. Oh well... Christmas is traditionally a time for ghost stories, not that this is really a ghost story... anyway...

Thank you very much to those who have followed along with the story. If you’d like to get yourself caught up on what this is, you can find all the previous chapters linked in the Master List. But whenever you’re ready to find out how it ends, you can just click to “keep reading”.

(As always, what gets published here is first-draft, unedited, unchecked rawness. There are going to be spelling mistakes, grammatical mistakes, hell, you’re lucky if I don’t start calling characters by different names halfway through. I apologize for all that.)

Pairing: Feargal Devitt/ Finn Balor x OFC

Word count: 3,115

Content warning: Honestly, if you’ve made it through the rest of the story, there’s nothing here that’s going to bother you. And saying more than that would probably mean spoiling the story. 

“Imagine my surprise when we got home and found out you’d run off on some servant’s errand,” he whispered. “What on Earth would have possessed you to do that?”

“I just wanted to get outside and do something to feel useful.”

“And then when you finally get home, you’re in another man’s arms.”

“That’s not true. He was helping me up the walkway and-”

He held my face in his hands and kissed me, hard. 

“Tell me, where else did he have his hands today?”

“Feargal, you’re being ridiculous,” I chided, but then cried out a little as he trailed his hand down my body, finding my nipple through my clothes and pinching it hard. 

“What else did you let him do to you?” He gripped my face in his hand and pushed me down on the bed before climbing on top of me. “What was it that left you so sore and weak that you couldn’t walk without his help?”

“You know perfectly well that-”

He kissed me, roughly pulling my skirt up and running his hands over my legs. 

“I haven’t been allowed to touch you in so long.”

I was stunned as I realized what he wanted, as I felt him tearing away at my undergarments. 

“You can’t be serious. The door is open. Susan could walk in! The children could walk in!”

He merely grunted and loosened his own clothing enough to free his erect member, the weight of it even more impressive than I remembered against my thigh. He kissed and bit at my neck, snarling softly like a beast, like a beast I knew all too well. He thrust inside me hard and immediately I knew something was wrong. The pain was sharp and overwhelming, and I almost cried out loud but for the fact that he placed his hand over my mouth just in time. 

“Please,” I sobbed into his hand, shaking my head. “No.”

As suddenly as they had started, his movements stilled. He stared at me wide-eyed and in shock. 

“My love,” he gasped. “I forgot that… I am so sorry.”

He withdrew from me and tucked himself away, stroking my hair with one hand. He continued to apologize even as I assured him that everything was alright.  He straightened his clothing and rose unsteadily from the bed, carrying himself out of the room and downstairs with an almost drunken gait even though I called after him. 

It took me a few minutes to recover myself enough to sit up and smooth my clothing into a more presentable state. I looked into the crib next to the bed and saw my son lying quietly, his eyes blinking and staring off towards the window. I hesitated to touch him in case he started crying but I could not resist the urge to place my hand on the blanket next to him, so that I could feel the heat of his body against mine. 

I moved to leave, meaning to head downstairs when it caught my eye: three scratches on the wooden frame of the crib, three parallel lines the like of which I had seen before. 

*

Once I had seen the Demon’s calling card and after Feargal’s sudden outburst, I knew that I had to do something. I had looked in the eyes of both my husband and the demon and now I truly believed that they were one and the same. I knew that the scratches I had seen on the crib were fresh because I had kept my eyes peeled for any sign that Balor might come to carry out his threat to take Michael away. No one could have snuck into the house and up to our room in the light of day. It was Feargal I had seen holding him. And I had experienced his bizarre behavior immediately afterward. 

I knew I couldn’t say these things to anyone else. Even saying them in my own head, they seemed insane. But my baby’s life was at risk and, by extension, the lives of William and Sophia, who I had sworn to protect. Although I had no confirmation, my instinct remained that getting Michael baptized would put him out of the Demon’s reach. Whether or not that would solve our problems, I did not know. 

My plan was to wait until everyone was asleep and then to leave with Michael. In order to avoid involving anyone else in the town, I resolved to walk the distance to the next village and to present myself to a pastor there as a young mother afraid for her baby’s health and insistent that he be baptized. There was no chance I would make it back before everyone awoke the next day, which meant that I would need an excuse to tell my family, something I had not yet worked out. I told myself that something would come to me because it had to. 

Every day I stared at the scratches on the crib and worked out the path I would take, what I would wear to keep us both warm, all of the details that I needed to know to accomplish my goal. I had not chosen a specific date but one night I felt a chill over my skin as I watched Michael sleeping and I knew that the time was at hand. 

I had lain awake every night making sure I knew every angle, every board, every nuance of the room so that I could get up quickly and access the clothing I had stashed for easy access. Feargal slept peacefully next to me and as I looked at the soft curve of his lips, my resolve faltered. He was still so beautiful, so much more than I ever could have imagined I would have as a husband. Surely I was mad to even think he could be a monster? 

Then I closed my eyes and forced myself to think of the ferocious look in his eyes when he was jealous, so pale and cold, just like those of Finn Balor. I thought of his touch, and how his hands and arms felt exactly the same against my skin. And I reminded myself that, as impossible as it might seem, this might also explain what had happened to his first wife. It pained me but I had to move forward. 

I slipped from the bed an inch at a time, freezing in place any time I thought Feargal showed a sign of stirring, and dressed myself in the clothes I’d prepared for the journey. Then came the most difficult part. Michael was asleep in his crib and I knew that picking him up would wake him. Ever so gingerly, I held a scarf against his face, so that at least the sounds he made would be muted. 

When I lifted him, however, it was like he understood that he should remain quiet. His blue eyes opened and looked around but he immediately curled against my breast and settled as if he was about to fall asleep again. I wrapped a blanket and my cloak around us both so that he would be warm and made my way to the stairs, walking to the rhythm of my own heartbeat. 

I had spent weeks memorizing where to walk on each stair to avoid making the floorboards creak under my weight and when I reached the bottom, I congratulated myself, for I had executed the descent perfectly. I hurried to the street door, confident that the rug would disguise any sound, and slowly turned the key to unlock it. It hadn’t been easy, but I had practiced moving the key so that it made hardly any noise, even when the deadbolt slipped back. What is most important to understand is that my plan had unfolded flawlessly to that point and that I had made so little noise that even the infant in my arms remained at peace. 

“Where are you going?” came the sharp voice behind me. 

I spun, biting down on my tongue to avoid crying out, and found myself facing William and Sophia, both in their nightclothes but looking almost unnaturally alert. I closed my arms tight around Michael and struggled to think of an adequate answer. After all, I had assumed that I would have the time to think of some cover story while I walked. I had nothing prepared to explain myself, even to children. 

“Where are you going?” William repeated, his voice rising. 

I held my finger to my lips in the hopes that no one else would overhear us. 

“What are you doing up? Go back to bed!” I whispered. 

“We heard you moving around,” he answered. 

I knew that that was not true. I knew how deeply they slept and I had not heard a sound behind me until he spoke. It was impossible that they had heard me and I had not heard them. It was more like they had already been awake and downstairs, lying in wait for me. But I couldn’t say that to them, so I tried to make an excuse. 

“Your brother is sick. I’m taking him to see a doctor.”

Sophia arched her brow at me. “Why not just send for the doctor to come here?”

I swallowed and once again motioned for them to stay as quiet as possible. “I don’t care for the doctors here. I want him seen to by someone else.”

“But that’s silly,” she responded sharply, although at least quietly. “It’s dangerous taking him outside, especially if he’s already sick. You should tell Father and have him go.”

“I don’t have time to explain right now,” I insisted, “but please, just go back to bed. We’ll have lots of time to discuss this when I come back.”

“No,” William pouted, “she’s right. You need to leave him here. As long as he’s here, we’re all safe.”

Sophia pinched him hard on the arm and he cried out, fortunately not very loudly. 

I struggled to understand what he meant, why he thought that having a sick baby remain in the house somehow meant that we would be safe. It was possible, of course, that he simply didn’t understand how sickness worked, but then it would make no sense that his sister had upbraided him for saying it. Was she embarrassed that he might look foolish? No, I thought, it was something else. He’d said something that she specifically didn’t want him to say. 

“Why do you think you’d be safer with him here, William?” I asked, focusing my eyes solely on him. 

He looked at his sister, who shook her head quickly. He continued to stare at her for what seemed like a long time. Finally, it was she who responded. 

“You promised you’d protect us. You can’t protect us if you’re not around.”

“I’ll be gone less than a day. You aren’t in any danger.”

She shook her head again. “We’re not safe from him until he gets what he wants. Michael needs to stay here and so do you.”

I blinked, not quite believing what I’d heard. They weren’t safe until “he” gets what he wants? Who did she mean? Was it at all possible that she knew of the demon and his determination to take the baby? And would her words not indicate that she wanted to help him? 

I stared into her dark eyes and felt a shiver go from my skin down to my very core at how cold they looked in the low light. William’s expression was impetuous but hers was more frightening because of its utter lack of human emotion. There was no hint of anything childlike or innocent about her. 

Somehow, I could feel that she knew that the demon Finn Balor was lurking and that he was determined to take this child, my child, the third child of the house, away to be with him. And she believed that letting him do so would protect the family from him in the future. Did she know that he had also threatened to take me? Did she care? 

Unable to come up with another word to say, I grabbed the door handle and opened it, motioning to the children one last, desperate time, to keep silent. 

It was no use. 

“Papa, papa, come quick, please!” William cried at the top of his voice as I stepped through the threshold. 

I scurried down the path to the gate and was shocked that as I reached to lift the bolt that Feargal came storming out of the house. He was still in his pajamas, but had managed to pull on his great-coat and boots in the mere seconds that had elapsed. I was so struck by his sudden appearance that I stood frozen in place for a moment until I realized that he was nearly upon me. 

I darted onto the road and turned to head towards the town and the main road there, only to be blocked by him as he ran through the gate and stood in my path. 

“Helen, what are you doing? Get back in the house this instant!” he exclaimed. 

I shook my head and retreated, back down the street, although there was only the beach and the ocean in that direction. 

“What’s gotten into you?” he persisted, following my every step but allowing me to maintain a distance between us. 

“He needs to be baptized,” I stammered, clutching tightly at the bundle in my arms as he started to stir. 

“Of course he does. I told you, I’m arranging it with Reverend Devlin.”

“No,” I snarled, “he needs to be baptized tonight. He can’t wait any longer.”

“Ok, I haven’t spoken to the Reverend yet,” he admitted, moving towards me as I continued to back away. “I’m sorry that I haven’t kept my word. But I’ll speak to him first thing in the morning, I promise. Just come back inside and come to bed.”

He extended an arm to me and I felt my heart breaking. How could I have thought such horrible things of him? But just as I was about to take his hand, a cloud crossed the moon and as it did, I saw the face of the demon, the shadowy skin and white eyes, the voraciousness and danger and I could no longer convince myself that this man was merely the gentle country pastor I had believed him to be. 

“You cannot have him,” I spat. And I turned and ran as fast as I could- not terribly fast, I will admit- even though I knew I was running towards a dead end. 

The thudding of footsteps behind me was my greatest impetus to keep moving and so when I reached the rickety stairs that lead down to the beach, I did not hesitate. I nearly fell and crushed Michael against my chest to try to protect him from the roughness of the descent. Once on the sand, I continued to scramble along as best I could, until I felt my arm grabbed roughly from behind. I spun away, tightening my grip on the baby and screamed in anger and fear. 

“What the devil do you think you’re doing?” he shouted at me, struggling to be heard over the fierce wind off the sea. 

“I know you mean to take him, to harm him. I know what you are,” I cried triumphantly. “You think that I’ll let you steal him away and condemn him to hell with you?”

“For God’s sake, Helen, this is insanity! He’s my son!”

As he spoke, I once again saw the light of the moon obscured by a cloud and the hungry face of the Demon Balor was revealed to me. He reached forward repeating that Michael was his son and I started to run again, almost falling as I did.

“He’s my child and you will never take him,” I screamed, stumbling and barely regaining my footing. 

He advanced on me, and as he did his face shifted from the distraught, desperate Feargal Devitt to the hungry, demanding Finn Balor. I wanted to believe that only one of them was real. I wanted to believe that I could separate them. But why would God have favoured me with a perfect husband and happy life? Who was I to deserve to be Mrs. Devitt, wife of the country pastor? 

I backed away as fast as I could, careful to watch him for any sudden moves. 

“Is this what happened with Sarah?” I taunted. “It is, isn’t it? She knew what you’d do if she had a third child, knew that you’d claim it and take it away.”

“Helen, please…”

“But she tricked you, didn’t she?” I continued, trying to be mindful of the stones in my path. “When she found out she was going to have a third child, she went to see the woman in the village, Susan’s aunt. She wanted to get rid of it, didn’t she?”

“Stop it now, you need to come home.”

“And you must have been furious when you found out.” I found myself piecing the story together as I spoke, more upset with every syllable but unable to stop myself from continuing. “Did you attack her? Is that why she ran from your house in the middle of the night? Did she die trying to escape your wrath or did you smash her skull against the rocks of that cave?”

At that, he lunged at me, knocking me down as he tried to wrest the precious bundle from my arms. I landed hard but the sand was at least a little forgiving and despite being winded by the fall, I continued to struggle with him, to keep him from claiming my innocent child. 

I sat up, clawing at his face, which did force him back a little. I clutched my baby in one arm as I tried desperately to scratch and slap at Feargal, at Balor, at both of them together, until he fell back on his haunches, panting for breath. 

“He’s not moving, Helen,” he shouted at me. “Why isn’t he moving?”

I didn’t want to allow him to distract me, but I knew that the bundle in my arms had stayed unnaturally still. Looking down, I tapped at his face to revive him, my breath quickening when I could not get a response. A heavy hand landed painfully on my shoulder as I struggled to wake Michael from his slumber. 

“What’s wrong?” he shrieked. 

“I don’t know,” I sobbed, rubbing at his tiny chest with my hand. 

“What have you done, Helen?” he roared, shaking me by the shoulder. “What have you done?”

[heathsbitch]

JUST HELPING - m.g*

A/N: What do you guys think about S5 of Peaky Blinders? I’m not sure if I like it or not. SPOILERS, I’m also so pissed that they killed Bonnie. I was so looking forward to seeing him grow and where his character would go, but I guess not. Anyway as always, enjoy...

Scenario: Michael has just been let out of prison and the reader helps to clean up his wounds and make him feel better.

Warning: Rough smut (I'm definitely going to hell for this), oral sex (F on M), swearing, unprotected sex (Wrap it before you tap it.)

Word Count: 3555

I was sat in the betting den talking to some of the Shelby boys, specifically Tommy, John and Finn. I've always been close to the Shelby's, our families were friends and we always hung out as kids. But my family has seen some dark times, especially considering I was the last one left in my family. 

My mother died giving birth to me and my brother and father died in the war. Tommy said he'd take me in because he didn't want me to be alone, he said it was dangerous. Ever since then, I've been involved in the business of the Peaky Blinders. No, I'm not directly involved in their business most of the time. There was one time that I had to kill a man to save John's life. Tommy has tried his best to keep me away ever since then. I typically just patch them up after they've been injured on a 'mission'. They all saw me as a sister to them and I saw them all as brothers.

The thing is though, some of the Blinders' business got Arthur and Michael arrested. A couple of slimy men by the name of Alfie Solomons and Darby Sabini had stitched them up and now they were getting battered and bruised in prison. They had done nothing wrong! But in Sabini's eyes they had. 

My nails tapped the old wooden table in front of me, anxiousness coursing through my veins. "Could you stop that please?" An annoyed John groaned "Sorry," I replied quickly. I was close to all of the Shelby brothers, but John was by far my best friend. Even if Finn was closer to my age, John and I had always gotten on better than anyone else.

"Listen, we're all nervous. We just need to keep our heads straight and think of a way to break them out." Thomas reassured us. "Isn't Pol trying to make a deal with that Copper for Michael?" Finn asked. We all looked at Finn "None of us really know what Pol is doing right now. She hasn't been acting straight since Michael got taken." I chipped in. 

We were all scared about what could happen to Arthur and Michael whilst they were in prison, but Polly was more worried than any of us. Obviously she had a reason to be, Michael was her son after all.

Unbeknownst to the Shelby brothers though, was the fact that I too was equally scared for Michael. I loved John and all the Shelby's like family but Michael was different. I liked him for a slightly separate reason. When I first met him, there was just something strange about him. He was kind, well-mannered and polite. Something I hadn't seen in a man in a long time. You could say that I was crushing on him. 

He made my heart race whenever he was near me, I would stutter and stumble over my words and he would just respond with a simple "Cute," and I would blush as a product of that. It was disappointing though, he could never like a girl like me. I grew up in Birmingham for Christ's sake! I was dirty and a member of the Peaky Blinders. He would never go for a woman like me, a murderer and a thief.

A dark figure burst through the doors of the Shelby household, startling the people sat in the gaming den. The figure stopped in the doorway of the den. Tommy rose to his feet and the man at the door came into the light, Michael. Heart thumping against my chest, I ran up to him and engulfed him a welcoming hug. He groaned in pain but wrapped his arms around my waist. "You look like shit," I said when I pulled away. Blood and cuts rested upon his once flawless face, bruises were beginning to form on his arms and I could guarantee that the wounds continued onto his chest. "Are you okay," I asked Michael. No response. He just stood there and stared at Tommy.

"You're gonna need those cuts cleaned up. You don't want them to get infected." He said as he walked up to Michael and me "I'm fine." He simply responded. "Let Y/N help. She cleans us up all the time." Tommy offered as he placed a hand on the small of my back "Michael, let me help." He nodded "Okay." "Good lad," Tommy began "We still need to think of a way to get Arthur out. We'll be down here if you need us, Y/N." I saw Finn glare at me and Michael before I nodded and led him upstairs to my bedroom.

"Just sit on my bed; I'll be back in a minute." I left him in my room as I went to get a bucket of water, some clean cloths and some alcohol. My room was small and simple. Only a single bed, a bedside table, dresser and mirror was present. It was home though. Walking back into the room, my eyes landed on my friend. He was sat on the side of my bed, hunched over and staring at one of his bloody hands whilst a cigarette rested in the other hand. "At least he fought back." I thought to myself.

The slightly rusty bucket sat on the floor next to me as I started to clean up Michael's wounds. I was resting on my knees, in between his legs. I would be lying if I said I wasn't having a silent panic attack. My hands dipped into the bucket of lukewarm water to soak the cloth. I cleaned his knuckles first. The blood resting there probably wasn't his which meant that he had been fighting in prison. My heart sank as I looked over him again. Seeing him in pain hurt me, he was such a sweet man that didn't deserve any of this. Raising my hand up to his face, I carefully wiped away the dried blood. He winced, indicating his wounds were fresh so I took more caution.

I cleaned more and more of the blood away, leaving his face clear with only the fresh cuts visible. The water in the bucket had turned into a strange shade of red from the blood. His shirt had become damp around his neck from the water droplets that ran off of him. "I need you to take off your shirt." I whispered timidly "What? I didn't catch that." Michael responded, his accent seemingly thicker than usual. My legs stiffened as I stood up. Before speaking, I wiped my hands on my long skirt "I need you to remove your shirt." I repeated, louder this time. The expression on his face didn't change as his, now clean, hands lifted up to the buttons on his shirt. He gradually undid his shirt then threw it to the other side of the room.

His hands now rested on his knees, a pose that was so alluring to me that I thought I would faint. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help it. My eyes burned into his body. Muscles lined his light skin. For such an innocent man, he had a very toned body. I took a second to recompose myself and Michael just stared at me. I got back on my knees in front of him. He leaned back a little bit so I could have more access to his perfect body.

My hands entered the bucket once more. Timidly, I reached up to his chest so I could clean him. He groaned under my touch. Unfortunately, they were groans of pain. A wave of worry washed over me "Sorry." I apologised and put a hand on his knee so I could balance myself. "It's okay, darling," He soothed me with his words. "Don't worry about hurting me." I was unsure whether his voice was deep and strained because he hadn't spoken in a while or if it was because he was in a lot of pain. Either way, it was attractive. I just hoped it wasn't the latter.

After cleaning the wounds on his chest with water, I reached for the bottle of alcohol. "This is gonna hurt like a bitch so brace yourself." "Nothing's worse than Polly on a bad day. Just go slowly, please." He joked to ease some tension and I giggled in response. A small smile rested upon his lips. Even the cuts on his faces couldn't darken the light that surrounded him when he smiled. "God, I'm such a creep." I scolded myself in my head.

I pulled the cork out of the bottle of alcohol and poured some onto a fresh cloth. "Here, you might want a swig of this before I start." Handing over the bottle, he took a couple of gulps and put it onto the bedside table. I placed the cloth onto the large gash that ran across his chest. A cry of pain erupted from his throat and he grabbed onto my wrist. "Fuck!" He cried out. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I apologised profusely and pulled away "No," He shouted "Keep going." He pushed my hand onto his chest and I put my other one on his knee. My face was only millimeters from his. I could feel his heavy breath fanning my face. "Done. I'm done." I exclaimed as I finished cleaning his injuries. Michael's grasp on my wrist loosened a little bit but he still held it against his chest, I had dropped the cloth so it no longer held a barrier between us. Our breathing mingled with each other, sweat covered his body.

Silence settled on the room. It wasn't awkward though, it was comfortable, soothing almost. "Are you okay?" I broke the silence. He groaned "Yeah," He pulled away from me and let go of my wrist "Thank you." Both of my hands now rested on his knees, I was still squished in between his legs. His eyes met mine. They were blue; not as bright as Tommy's but they held warmth and comfort, something Tommy's never did. They flickered between my lips and my own eyes. Getting closer to my face, he cupped my cheek with his hand. A tingling sensation flew across my body. His lips met mine. He kissed me. Michael fucking Gray just kissed me! I couldn't believe what happened so my grip on his knees just tightened.

Our lips danced together, teeth clashing. Then he slipped his tongue into my mouth. Something that had started out as just an innocent kiss was escalating quickly. I moaned into his mouth and he pulled me closer. Michael was now sat on the edge of the bed, my chest basically pressed into his crotch. That's when I felt it, a hard object pressing into my breasts. My heart furiously thumped against my chest, I was scared he could feel it. I thought nothing more of the item that was flush against me and focused on the kiss. He moaned and pulled away from me. One string of spit connected our mouths together. He laughed and swiped it from my lips.

Looking down at the hardness between his legs "Look what you did to me. Look how crazy you drive me." Both of his hands now cradled my face and he was staring into my eyes yet again. "I have something to confess, Y/N. Something I've never told anyone. I like you. A lot as you can tell," He joked and looked down at his lap again. I knelt there in silence as he continued to confess to me "You've always drove me crazy. I thought you would never like anyone like me, considering you're a Peaky Blinder and you probably fancy someone proper bad like Tommy or John. Besides, all girls like bad boys. But you're not like other girls, are ya?" His eyes darkened "You're bad yourself, that's what I like. You're not afraid to speak up or argue your point. You're not scared of no one. I bet Tommy doesn't even scare ya." I was stunned. The exact reason I thought Michael would never like is the exact reason he did. "I'm dangerous." I whispered "I can be too." His eyes came back to met mine and a smirk grew onto his face "Being in prison changed me. I learned I had to be tough, like you, to survive. I'm not as bad as Tommy, by no means, but I'm sure I could still show you a good time. Even better than he could."

He whispered the last part of his speech in my ear. That's what sent me over the edge. I could feel myself pooling in my knickers. He chuckled as he noticed the effect he had on me. "Come 'ere, doll." Then he kissed me again, with even more passion this time. His tongue trailed my lips, a moan falling out in the process. Michael pulled away, again. "Now let's do something about this shall we." He gestured to the hard-on he was nursing in his trousers. "Mickey," A new nickname slipped out, causing him to groan and smirk "I-I've never done this before." "It's okay. I'll help you." He comforted me.

My shaking hands undid the button on his trousers, pulling them down. He lifted up so I could fully remove them. The bulge was now really in my face. A whimper tumbled from my lips as I took his boxers off. Now I am not an expert on cocks, but surely it couldn't be possible for it to be this big. I think Mickey noticed me staring "I know, I know. Don't worry, darling." He reassured me.

Hands slipping into my hair, he pushed me closer to his cock. I lifted my own hands and grabbed onto it. I stroked it a couple of times before bringing it to my mouth. As they made contact, a loud "Fuuck." came from his mouth. I bobbed my head up and down his shaft, trying to fit all of it in my mouth. Once Michael managed to focus again he told me what to do next "Put this hand here." He took one of my hands off of his large cock and guided it to his balls. I rolled them in my hand as I continued to work my mouth around his length. Moans and groans fell from his lips like a prayer, my name coming off of them as well like a chant. "Shit, Y/N. Are you sure you've never done this before." This comment encouraged me to go harder, and faster. My mouth furiously sucked his cock, my hand taking what my mouth couldn't.

A particularly loud groan elicited from his mouth and he pushed my head into his crotch. It was my turn to whimper. His hands gripped and tugged at my hair, turning me on even more. My panties were definitely soaked. I closed my eyes as Mickey began to thrust into my mouth. Gags came fast from me, his cock stretching my mouth and my throat, the sound echoing through the small room. "Fuck, I'm close Y/N." He warned me as he continued to thrust mercilessly into my oesophagus. I was still deep-throating him when he came. Warm, white liquid dripped down my throat. He drew his member out of my mouth. Spit and cum was attached to it and it hung between his dick and my throat. "You look so pretty like that." He complimented me.

Hands gripping onto my waist, he pulled me up so I was now standing. "This isn't fair, is it?" He pointed out the fact that I was still fully clothed. Veiny hands gradually undid the buttons on my shirt. He then turned me around so he could unzip my skirt. Michael turned me around. "Fuck." He groaned again as he took in my half naked appearance. Today just happened to be the day that I wore skimpy underwear. A black lace bra covered my breasts, a matching set of panties with stockings and garters rested on my flaming body.

He moved his hands again, this time tracing my bra strap and pulling it from my shoulder. He was now stood up, towering over me. Mickey kissed my neck, sucking a purple mark onto it. He moved to the other side of my neck and did the same thing, traveling to my clavicle after he finished. Un-clipping my bra, he ripped it from me. His tongue darted out to wet his lips "I like these." He remarked and moved to my panties. We were now stood there, completely naked, bodies burning for each other. If someone were to walk in now, we would be fucked (and not in the good way). But that fact only spurred Michael on more.

He sat down and pulled me onto his lap. Our lips met again for a final kiss as I sunk onto his length. A whine of euphoria leapt from me and I clenched onto Mickey's shoulders for support. He wrapped one arm around my waist and the other around my shoulders. I bounced, slowly at first so I could get used to the sheer size of Michael. "Fuck, you're so tight." Michael groaned in my ear. Moans filled the room yet again, coming from the both of us. "Can I go harder?" Michael asked and I giggled at the fact that he was asking permission after everything we'd already done that night. "Of course." was my reply. His hands gripped onto my hips, moving me faster, his thrusts matching the speed of my bounces. My head was thrown back by the pleasure Michael was giving to me.

With no warning, Michael threw me onto the mattress underneath him so he could be in control. "Michael!" I cried out, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. His thrusts hit my core, sparks flying between the two of us. His head rested in the crook of my neck, the feeling getting to him as well. That position didn't last long though. He sat up and pulled one my legs over his shoulder. His hands kept him steady at either side of my head as he plunged into my pussy. "You feel so good, princess." He bellowed. Everyone downstairs could definitely hear us but that only fueled him more. "Mickey. I think I-I'm close." I stuttered "Just hold on a little longer for me, Y/N." Michael's pace increased ten-fold. He was now reaching parts of me that I didn't even know I had. I screamed in ecstasy. Michael pushed his hand to my throat and squeezed. He didn't squeeze extremely hard, just the right amount of pressure. My eyes fluttered shut. Michael leaned in to whisper in my ear "Open your eyes angel; I wanna see you fall apart."

That sent me flying forward, clutching onto his body. A wave of euphoric pleasure crashed over me. My nails dragged over Mickey's back, leaving marks that would probably be there for the next few days. It was Michael's turn next. "Shit!" He shouted in my ear as he reached his own climax. He pulled out just in time. Ropes of hot cum shot out of his cock, his hand slowly bringing him down from his own high. He reached for one of the clean cloths and cleaned us up, ridding me of the evidence of that night's activities.

He collapsed on top of me. After a couple minutes of blissful silence, he rolled off of me and pulled me into his chest. Sweat glazed his body, his beautiful eyes were closed and small huffs were leaving his nose. He looked perfect. Michael pulled a blanket over us, just in case anyone did walk in. My eyes closed and we both drifted into a peaceful sleep...

It didn't last long however, after roughly ten minutes John burst into the room. "Just helping, were ya?" His voice startled Mickey and I. We both shot up from the bed, the blanket clutched to my chest. John was stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed against his chest and his signature smile plastered on his face. I noticed a smaller figure behind John. He walked forward slightly, probably to get a better look, and I could tell it was Finn. "Oh shit, he's too innocent for this." I thought and clutched the blanket closer to my chest. "Finn you're too young for this." John turned around and pushed Finn away from the room, his eyes were as wide as saucers. Clearly he had never seen a naked woman before.

John turned back to us "Just don't hurt her, ya daft prick. Otherwise we will cut ya." He warned Michael who looked just as startled as Finn. He nodded and John left the room without closing the door. "Oi boys, Mickey's getting some action." He yelled as he descended the stairs of the Shelby household.

[weirdochick56]

Oblivious - Thomas Shelby Imagine

Thomas Shelby X Reader

Warnings: Explicit Language. (always lol) Angst (??) 

Disclaimers: I don’t own TS or any Peaky Blinders plots/characters.

Word Count: 5, 205 words

Summary: The reader is an old family friend of the Shelby’s and completely and utterly in love with Tommy. She thinks he doesn’t love her back, but she couldn’t be farther from the truth. Sometimes, a few drinks are just what someone needs to break years-long silence. 

“Do I look like a bloody fuckin’ chicken Arthur?” You raise your brows challengingly then you point at him.  “No. You, on the other hand, do.” 

The Blinders around you whoop and pat your back as you smirk at the eldest Shelby triumphantly. He grumbles something under his breath but ends up standing up straighter and looking you with a smirk of his own, his mustache lightly curled up at the corner. 

“Alright, alright!” He holds his hands up and down to calm the men gathered down. Then he looks you evenly in the eye. “I’ll do this, eh? And you,” he steps closer, pointing a finger at you. “Are gonna owe me,” he points to himself aggressively then grins. “A favor, sweetheart.” 

You don’t even flinch, keeping your face straight. “Fine by me then, sweetheart.” You taunt the pet name he uses then turn back around to face the bar. “Oi! A round then, please Harry!” 

The older man shakes his head at you with a huff but complies nonetheless, tugging glasses from the back and then the amber liquid-filled glass bottle. 

You turn to face Arthur, ignoring the buzzing and excited Blinders surrounding you, and grin mischievously. “You’re on, Arthur fookin’ Shelby.” 

Blinders around you snicker at your quite blunt mock at the name. Arthur smiles at you with a scoff but doesn’t say anything. You were a good friend of the family so you knew he wouldn’t take offense to the playful jesting. 

Not many people outside the family had the pleasure of saying that. But since your parents had known the Shelby’s for quite a long time, you’d practically grown up with them. Which meant you were family. A younger sister to Arthur, Tommy, and John, if you will. And an older one to Finn. 

The mere thought made you queasy. Your stomach churned with aching and your heart breaks. You were well aware of how Thomas Shelby viewed you. As his a little sister. Meanwhile, you were hopelessly in love with him. You wanted nothing more than to become something else for him, for him to notice you in a different light. 

But just as you were aware of how he saw you, you were well aware of how he wouldn’t see you. As a lover, a potential wife, or hell- not even a good fuck! 

There was no hope for you and him. 

*

The contest was simple. You and Arthur would see who could hold their liquor the best- the longest. And that was measured by whoever began stumbling first or who was in worst condition generally.

You checked in every few rounds to see who had better balance, and so far you were losing. Arthur was a bit buzzed but was downing the shots like a mad man and didn’t seem to be as affected as you. 

Your legs felt relatively wobbly by the tenth round of shots and your mind was hazy, blurry with the alcohol that coursed through your system. Although, on the brighter side, your shoulders were less tense and an easy smile had formed on your lips as your giggles echoed all over the Garrison walls. 

For once, you felt...free. Your smile wasn’t forced and your heart sang instead of attempting not to keep its head above and swim and not drown in a sea of sadness. Well, I mean, your heart would always do that, but right now you couldn’t seem to remember the last time you’d felt this carefree and you figured it was because you also couldn’t remember the last time you drank this much. 

You needed a good head on your shoulders if you were to always worry for the company’s numbers, whether or not any of the brothers would die once they walked out the door...Tommy. You were involved in everything that had to do with that family. Because they were your family. You had nothing left but them. So you clung onto them will all your strength and they graciously accepted you and treated you as their own. But with protection and love from a family like the Shelby’s, there was always a price to be paid. 

Constant anxiety and heartbreak was yours.

You downed another shot of the alcohol and let it travel down your throat smoothly, allowing it to burn your esophagus lightly and offering a woozy kind of comfort to your soul as you slam the glass down on the counter. 

“Woohoo!” You whoop loudly, throwing your hands above your head with a drunken smile.  The world spins for a second and you almost trip on your own clumsy feet before strong arms shoot out and catch you. 

Tommy’s large warm hands, grip your shoulders firmly to hold you upright. You were unaware of his presence but were pleasantly surprised.

Giggling like a child, you look up at him. “Arthur, look! It’s Tommy!” 

Arthur doesn’t even look your way, fully drunk beyond his senses. You were in better shape than him, so you’d clearly won.

Tommy sighs at you, his face stoic as always but giving away a hint of a smile as he shakes his head.

“Okay then, let’s go, love,” he grunts as he throws your arm over his shoulders and slips his hand on your waist. Your body is pressed right I to his and it makes you nibble on your lip.

“Finn!” he yells over his shoulder, as he leads you out of the Garrison. “Take Arthur home, will ya’?!” Finn yells back some response you don’t really bother listening to as you’re too busy admiring Tommy’s striking facial structure with a soft smile. 

But you assume it’s a yes. 

Tommy begins dragging you to the car, but you stop him, shoving his arm off your shoulders harshly. He stares at you with a frown and you snarl, anger bubbling inside of you with the turn of a mere second. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing Thomas?!” You try to seem menacing with an aggressive jab of your finger, but sway instead as your voice falters slightly. You end up having to lean up against the outside of the Garrison. 

Tommy sighs heavily, approaching you briskly. You, however, hold up a perfectly-manicured hand, bringing his movements to a complete halt. “Don’t fucking touch me, Thomas. I’ll walk myself home,” your last sentence is a grumble as you promptly push yourself off the cold wall and begin to pathetically stumble your way home. 

“Y/n!” Thomas yell causes you to look over your shoulder with dizzying velocity. 

“What?” 

He clears his throat. “Your house is that way, love.” He points in the opposite direction. 

You grumble drunkenly under your breath, stomping your heels into the wet ground as you manage -somehow- to whisk past him without swaying too much. “Fucking hell.” 

Thomas heaves another exasperated sigh and quickly runs right in front of you. “Y/n, fuck’s sake. Just get in the car will ya’? You’re not walking home alone.” 

A soft scoff escapes you. “Says who? You?” You point at him with a wry smirk and then it slowly melts off as you shake your head incredulously. “Oh piss off Tommy will ya’?.” You go to walk away, but his hand firmly grips your elbow.

“Right, get in the fuckin’ car Y/n, if you don’t want me to put you on there meself.” 

Your passive aggressive gaze locks on his hand gripping your arm and then into his piercing blue eyes, so near yours. More anger and resentment pulse through your bloodstream, pulsated by the alcohol mixed in there.

You clench your jaw. “Will you just let me go, Tommy? Right, I don’t want to get in the fuckin’ car and you can’t fuckin’ make me!” You tug at your arm but he doesn’t budge, only looks down at you blankly. Although you can tell by the barely-noticeable twitch of his lip that he’s frustrated by your reaction to him. 

He leans in closer, placing his soft lips near your ear, simultaneously sending an involuntary shock of electricity crackling through your heated skin at his intoxicating proximity. 

“Right then love, this what’s going to happen. And I say ‘going to’ because in the next fuckin’ second you’re going to get into the car and I’m going to drive you home. Now you may moan and cuss and whine all you want,” he pauses, leaning slightly away so that his nose is now brushing against yours, his warm lightly cigarette and alcohol-tainted breath fanning your face and his icy blue eyes staring directly into yours. “But that’s not going to stop it from ‘appening, hm?” 

You clench your jaw even tighter, gritting your teeth and fisting your hand. Harshly, you rip your arm from his grasp and wordlessly stomp your way to his car, throwing the door open and slamming it shut way too hard. 

You can hear him sigh, but don't give him the satisfaction of knowing you can see his pursed lips from the corner of your eye. 

He climbs in soon after and turns the car on, peeling away from the murky ground in front of the Garrison and heading for your house. 

The short ride home is silent except for the occasional sigh from either you or Thomas. You still refuse to so much as glance in his general direction, arms crossed defensively over your chest and the secret information of his constant brief glancing your way also being held tightly to your chest. 

Your brain was blurry and the hot white sizzling anger still lived and swayed and grew and spread. You really had no idea what’s caused the mood swing, but seeing Tommy look at you with a small glint of concern- somewhat of a rarity for him after the war- your heart’s temporarily-sedated yearning came back full force and you were forced to remember he only saw you as a sister. Maybe that’s what made you so angry. At yourself for being so in-fucking-capable of stopping your feelings for him and at him because he was incapable of loving you back the way you wanted- needed- him to.

Suddenly, the car comes to a halt and you look out the window to see the familiar building you lived in. 

You all but jump out, slamming the door shut behind you.You then round the vehicle to Tommy’s side but don’t even spare him a glance, stalking your way home, a desperate desire to fall into your soft bed and-

“Oi, Y/n! Hold up!” Tommy runs after you, the car still running. 

You sigh heavily through your nose, grasping at straws in order to remain calm at this point. You were nearing your boiling point with him and with a drunken head like yours, it was a dangerous mix, to say the least. 

But Thomas Shelby was a stubborn bastard. 

His hand finds your arm once again and you wince at the touch, hissing audibly as he spins you round to face him. You don’t dare lift your head when you feel him immediately loosen his grip in you, instead keeping your head neatly tucked under your hat and hidden by your hair. You were well aware of the fact that looking at his face would be the last straw for your paper-thin patience. 

“Y/n, will you just tell me what the fuck’s wrong already? What the bloody fuck have I done this time, hm?” 

His touch burned on your arm, his distinct scent of cigs and rum and street but also something sweet and masculine wafting into your nose promptly. There was no other word to describe it except Tommy. It smelled like Tommy. The scent that clung to his clothes gave you the urge to sink your nose into the expensive fabrics of his jacket. To feel closer to your impossible love. 

The air gets heavier to breathe in. The man you love, Tommy, is so nearby.

He was holding you so close to him that if it weren’t for the fact that you knew he didn’t like you like that, you'd think was doing it simply to have you close. 

But you knew he wasn’t because Thomas Shelby only viewed you as a sister.

That’s it. 

A sister. 

The air was so heavy your lungs couldn’t take in any more. 

A sister.

Your breathing is labored and Thomas gently shakes you. 

“Y/n?” 

And oh fuck, that silky smooth yet masculine voice of his it-

His thumb cups your chin and his forefinger forces your gaze to meets his. You’re so angry, you tremble. Your eyes are barely holding back tears but that simple touch, move- it’s enough. 

You push his chest away from you with as much force as you can muster. He stumbles back as hot tears trail down your face and blur your vision. “Nothing you haven’t done anything okay?! Now fuck off!” You exclaim loudly and point at him with enragement. 

He doesn’t move at first, his face unshifting but his lips lightly part and that’s enough of a tell. He didn’t know what you were on about. 

Holding his hands up defensively, he holds your gaze. “Y/n, what the bloody hell do you think you’re-”

You interject him abruptly, stalking dangerously close to him. “You wanna know what the bloody fuck’s wrong eh?” You lick your lips, looking up at him through tears. “What’s wrong is that you’re fuckin’ blind Tommy, yeah?!” 

He opens his mouth to protest, but you don’t allow him to say anything. “You’re so fucking blind that you can’t fuckin see that I’m dying here.” Your voice trembles as light sobs leave your salty lips. You claw at your chest through your dress and growl in his face. “What’s fuckin’ wrong is that my fuckin’ heart’s broken! And i-it’s dying- inside me. I-I can’t think, I can’t fucking focus. Hell- I can’t even fucking breathe. Bloody fuck, Tom, it’s killing me slowly!” Your heart cracks and so does your voice. You can feel yourself falling apart at the edges, the alcohol no longer functional enough to numb anything. It all felt too real. Like every nerve in your body was awake and alert and someone was poking needles into you.

For the first time after the war, Tommy’s face twists into a concerned frown. “What are you on about Y/n? Who the fuck has broken your heart? Look if you need me to kill the fucker-” 

You laugh sardonically. “Fuck’s sake,” you shake your head and furiously wipe at your tears with the backs of your hands. “You think everything has to be solved with fucking violence, don’t you? You know what, Tommy? For someone so bloody smart, you’re the most oblivious fuck I have ever met.” Your voice is dry and raspy from all the screaming and exasperation and your head throbs painfully against your temple. 

You’re exhausted as you spin on your heels and walk towards your home, waving dismissively at Tommy who begs you to come back. 

What an oblivious fuck, that one was. 

*

The next morning you wake up with an excruciating pain splitting your head in half. Or so it seemed.

You remembered everything you’d done the night before- unfortunately- and just thinking about it had your cheeks aflame with embarrassment. 

With a groan, you push yourself off the bed and make haste out of cleaning yourself up and brewing tea for your horrific headache. 

Whilst sipping on the steaming mug in your hands gratefully, a knock comes to your door. 

With a sigh, you get up and drag your feet to your door, calling through the wooden material.

“Who is it?” Your voice was cracked and groggy. 

“Thomas,” his voice, ever so elegant and silky smooth, responded without a second’s hesitation. 

You don’t respond at first, your face red with shame, but decided to open it wider for him. Maybe you could act ignorant and he’d eventually forget about it all. Never question the words or who they were directed to. 

He stands there, hands shoved casually inside his pockets, stoic face and slightly-parted lips. “Can I come in?” his piercing blue eyes scrutinize your soul. 

You smile lightly- innocently but tiredly- and step aside to let him in, closing the door behind him. He eyes your tiny apartment the way he always does when he comes over. Not with maliciousness or even disgust. But with a bit of fondness, you think, and sits across from your steaming cuppa with a clear of his throat. 

You softly pad your way towards him, ignoring his eyes dead set on you. “You want some?” 

He shakes his head, motioning you to sit. Wringing your hands nervously you sigh and comply, sliding down on the seat. 

“I see you have a hell of a hangover now, eh?” 

With that emotionless face of his, it’s hard to tell if he’s joking or not. But you knew he was. Spending the amount of time you did examining his expressions- even the slightest shift in his face- meant you’d picked up on the small quirks- the tells. And by the way he looked now, you knew it was a tease. 

You smirk a little, running your nail lightly along the rim of the mug. “I totally beat Arthur yesterday. How’s he doing by the way?”

Thomas’s gaze never wavers. “He’s fine. But that’s not why I came here Y/n.” 

You clear your throat, finally looking up at him with the most oblivious look you can muster. “Why are you here then, Tommy?” 

He licks his lips and leans closer to you, almost like he was about to tell you a secret nobody else could hear. “Last night- you- it was a bit odd, I think. But you said something and,” he clicks his tongue lightly, shaking his head. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it. You just looked so-” his eyes meet yours. “Heartbroken.” The word leaves his lips as if it were prohibited. 

You suck in a sharp breath and your facade slips for a second, but you bounce right back. “What did I say, Tommy? I-I can’t seem to recall.” 

His gaze, still plastered on your eyes, unnerves you endlessly and you find it hard not to fiddle with your fingers. Tommy was good at reading people and you most definitely weren’t the exception. He’d always been especially good at reading you so you had no doubt he could see you were lying right about now. 

Slowly and an awfully nonchalant manner, he leans back on the wooden chair. “Well,” he grunts. “You said your heart was slowly killing you and then quite randomly stated that I was blind and oblivious.”

You gulp but manage to remain relatively calm. “What is it you need to know then?”

He doesn’t miss a beat. “I need to know who the fucker that broke your heart is.”

You grin incredulously. “Ah! Why’s that? So you can cut him?”

He doesn’t flinch. “Precisely.”

You laugh exasperatedly. “Jesus fuck Thomas! Do you really have no other way of-”

“I do,” he cuts you off calmly. “I can use words. I’m great with them. But the way you spoke to me last night- your eyes...I realize the bastard who did this to do you is pure evil and deserves it. You’re a Shelby, love. And no one fucks with my family.” 

You almost burst out laughing at the irony, but the word ‘family’ echoes around in the darkest pits of your brain. 

Of course, that was what this was about. You were so damn tired of being overlooked by him. All those whores, all the times you nearly died when he’d come back half-dead, beaten to a pulp and bleeding profusely...You had been the one to patch him up. Took care of his wounds. There were nights, after he’d come back from the war, where you’d just stay up late and talk. Well, he’d talk and he’d tell you things- horrors he’d experienced at the war. Things he didn’t dare tell anyone else. You felt an honest-to-God connection that ran deeper than any other physical attraction and the way he looked at you during those nights where he’d be suffering silently otherwise, you could’ve sworn he felt the same too. Guess you were wrong. 

Without looking at him, you mumble. “Well, guess you’re pure evil then.” 

He doesn’t say anything for a second, processing you assume, and you don’t dare look up at him until he dares speak again- breathlessly this time. “What?” 

“Oh for fuck’s-” you sigh impassively. “You’re the pure evil bastard who deserves to be cut for my heartache! It’s fucking you, Tommy! Jesus fuckin’-” you sigh heavily, throwing your arms up. 

He doesn’t respond, just stares at you blankly, the wheels turning in his head clear as day. “You’re fucking joking.” 

The way he says it- like it was a joke he was taken aback by, it breaks you. 

“You know what?” Tears prick your eyes, as you stand up. “If you’re going to humiliate me like one of your little whores then just fuck off, yeah?” You point to the door with blurry eyes. 

And he opens his mouth to speak. “B-”

“I’m not fucking joking Thomas. If you think you’re going to make fun of me in my own home, you’re sadly-”

He stands up abruptly and you jump a little as he stalks closer to you. His eyes never leave your face and you feel tiny, looking up at him with a phony frown. “Tom what the bl-”

You don’t get to finish when he cups your face in his hands and yanks you to him. Your body shuts down completely as your lips and his soft ones meet. Not because of the kiss itself, but out of shock. Complete and utter shock.

Your brain scrambles to connect all the dots as Thomas’s lips move roughly against yours. It’s passionate and a shiver travels up your spine. 

You’re unresponsive for the first few seconds, but finally manage to pull yourself together, pressing yourself closer to him with a light moan, hands shooting up and gripping at his heavy jacket-clad shoulders. 

Your tongues intertwine in a battle for dominance and if it weren’t for Tommy’s hands hold you by your waist to him, you were sure your weak knees would give out beneath you. 

He tasted like rum and cigarettes and you can’t help but moan a little again at his intoxicating proximity. 

It all passes in a haze, your lips moving against eachother with passion, adoration and utter frustration. Like he was angry at you but filled with utter lust and want all at once. His lips were pressed so harshly against yours, you almost considered bruises as an option. 

But there was also something so raw, utterly natural and pure instinct about the way you went about eachother. The way his hands roamed your body, barely brushing past your most achingly-heated parts but never actually touching you there. It was as if he knew the teasing would drive you absolutely insane. 

Just as you knew that he’d like you to kiss him back, touch him like he was a threat to you. With a kind of aggressive passion. 

The sexual tension between you two finally reached a boiling point and you found your hands wrapping firmly around his neck and tugging his body closer impossibly to yours. He growls a little and bites he bites your lip briskly. 

You yelp into his mouth and then briefly break away so that his big hands can quickly wrap around your hips and hoist you up onto the table like you didn’t weigh a thing. You barely notice when the mug of tea topples over and breaks into a million pieces on the ground, your lips and hands finding and attacking eachother again with fierce yearning once more. Your stomach flips, your heart hammers, and your head spins, but somehow you move around his body with unknown expertise.

Tommy slides in between your legs and grips your knees at either side of him, hiking your skirt up only a bit. You whimper at his touch and his thumb caresses the skin of your knees lightly.  

You part from the breath-stealing kiss a little to peck his lips in between hard heated pants. In between kisses, he growls. 

“You have no fucking idea how much I’ve been wanting to make you bloody mine love,” he says this in a mere whisper and your skin -not that you thought it was even remotely possible- heats up even more. 

 You smirk at him lightly, staring into his icy blue eyes and feeling your chest swell with pride when he doesn’t flinch away, eyes full with lustful sincerity. Leaning down so much your lips brush, you wrap your legs around his waist and yank him closer to your center, whispering hoarsely. “Then why don’t you?” 

He doesn’t respond, only kisses you with even more fervor than before, which, again, you didn’t even think was possible and hold tightening on you and hands clawing at your thin stockings. You gasp into when he rips them off, but he quickly swallows the hocked sound, kneading at your now-exposed skin with even more animosity.

Mixed in with this new kiss you taste a hint of something metallic. 

Blood. 

That fucker. He’d bitten your lip so hard he drew blood! 

And yet, the idea only seems to fuel the fire burning insistingly in the pit of your stomach further and you only find yourself sucking a sharp breath, kissing him harder, lips enveloping his roughly. Your hands ran over his hair and then down to the base of his skull where your thumbs quickly made their way to his ridiculously high cheekbones. Your tongue quickly flicks over his plump bottom lip and he groans a little, hands roaming daringly higher on your legs, hiking your skirt up to your mid-thigh. 

You pant hotly against him and with a wince quickly pull away, building your resolve. His eyes are still fluttered shut and his face is slightly chasing yours when you push his hands away. 

Slowly, he looks up at you, a confused frown instilled on his face. Your heart squeezes painfully in your chest, your body missing his warmth and scent almost immediately after.

You sigh deeply, though, forcing yourself to remain strong and looking him sternly in the eye. “I’m not going to become just another one of your whores Thomas.” 

He lets out an irritated mixture of a groan and sigh. Bowing his head so you can’t see his face, he laughs softly under his breath. The laughter isn’t genuine, it’s sardonic. Sarcastic almost. 

You furrow your brow and cross your arms over your chest, bothered. “What’s so funny?” 

He pauses his laughing and raises his head to look at you, face the most serious you’d ever seen it. You’re taken completely aback by the force of his piercing gaze when he speaks lowly, eyes dead set on your own. 

“The fact that you think that is what’s funny, love.” 

“What?” 

“The fact that you think that you're just another whore to me is utterly hysterical. I thought I’d made it clear enough.” 

You shift a bit, clearing your throat. “Made what clear?” 

He doesn’t seem annoyed by your slowness to comprehend what it was he was hinting at. In fact, he looked like he was thoroughly enjoying seeing you so clueless. But that was just who Tommy was. He enjoyed this kind of thing. 

“That, unlike every other woman I’ve been with...” he leans in and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. Then he steps back a bit to look you in the eye, hand cupping your cheek. “You are the only one I love.”

You barely bite back a gasp at his words, heart pounding. 

“You make me feel whole.” He laughs incredulously, talking more to himself than you. “It’s bloody fuckin stupid, alright? But y-you make me heart race whenever I see you. And it’s so bloody fucking stupid that I sweat like I’ve run five miles when you look at me with those big, y/e/c of yours.” His eyes are soft, for once; unguarded, full with adoration as his thumb glides softly over your cheekbone. 

You find yourself unable to formulate anything other than shaky breaths, as you lean into his touch. Luckily, you don’t have to speak. 

“You make me feel, Y/n. Y-you make me feel alive and peaceful and when you’re near me I feel everything’s going to be alright.” He presses his forehead to yours sweetly and sighs. 

You smile up at him, opening your mouth to confess your own love for him, before his cold tone cuts you off as he takes a huge step back, head bowed low. 

“But that’s exactly the problem, love.” His voice is quiet. 

You gulp, your heart-shattering. He looks you in the eye.

“Nothing in my life is ever going to be alright. And having you near me in that way-“ he inhales sharply. “It’s a distraction. One that could either end with me and my family, you, or everything.”

You open your mouth to protest fiercely, but he silenced you, eyes sad. “I’m head of this operation Y/n. I can’t have anything ruining my ability to think clearly and make decisions.”

You can feel yourself grow and more frustrated with him as his words progress.  Your body is flush and red with humiliation and anger. You wouldn’t have had let it progress this far and expose yourself to him like this if you’d known he’d get your hopes up just to crush you all over again. 

“Fine then, Tom.” You gently shove him away. “Do whatever you need to.” 

He scoffs out a shocked sound as you push yourself off the counter and shove past him. 

“Fine? That’s it?” He almost sounds disappointed. 

You try to keep walking. You really do. But he’s just so...

You whirl around briskly, fists clenched tightly by your sides. “What Thomas?!” 

He jumps at the sound of your voice. 

“What do you want from me? You came here, kissed me, told me you loved me, got my hopes up and then made it crystal clear that it can’t happen between us. What else do you want from me, hm?” You clench your jaw so tightly, you wonder how your teeth aren’t shattered. 

He opens his mouth as if to say something then closes it again. 

You sigh, rubbing your temples tiredly. 

“Just go,” you mumble hoarsely, turning your back to him. 

You were just so tired and heartbroken. Or maybe just tired of being heartbroken. Either way, both your bones and heart ached and seeing him standing there with his messy hair from you running your fingers through them and his pink lips wasn’t exactly helping you.

He stumbles over his words from behind you but ends up sighing and saying nothing. You hear shifting and the door opening.  

“This isn’t over. We need to talk more about it.” And then he shuts the door behind him. 

You blink away tears and shake your head, running your hands through your hair frustratedly. 

Thomas Shelby was one complicated man. 

***

YAYY!! I think I want a second part to this one! Hmm...what about the reader making him jelly?? Omg yassss!! That is totally a possibility, but I need to know if you guys want it.  

A Special Thanks To:

@sherlockedtash88

@lilypalmer1987

@jessikared97

@mogaruke - my lovely forevers 

And 

@kaliforniacoastalteens -my only PB peep. 

[et-lesailes]

the summer at vlyvalle // chapter three

featuring: bryce langley (chris evans in fierce people, 2005) x reader

summary: you are bryce langley’s best friend as well as the love of his life, and he, yours. your two families live in the large, wealthy estate in vlyvalle, new jersey owned by his grandfather; your family has been business partners with his family for some time now, and therefore, you and bryce were practically raised together. both of you grew up incredibly rich and privileged, though humble and grounded– however, there has always been something slightly off about bryce’s mind and the way he thinks. you are the only one who sees this side of him, yet you still can’t help but love him, hoping that you can help him become someone more stable and healthy. when a new neighbor moves in for the summer, you can’t help but suspect that bryce’s interactions with him aren’t completely innocent, but he always manages to convince your more hopeful and optimistic side otherwise.

story themes: romance, drama/angst, psychology, semi dark!fic

chapter themes: romance, drugs

word count: approx 980

taglist: @quant-um-fizzx, @thefvcker-tucker

chapter one | chapter two

Another day, another party-- this is what summers in the wealthy town of Vlyvalle, New Jersey consisted of, and while they seemed nothing but elegant and classy on the outside, you knew better. 

For example, twenty-two year old socialite Cassandra Kingsley may have seemed like she was using the gold plate on her table for food, but if you kept looking long enough, it was hard to miss the way she would quickly hunch over to bring her nose to said plate, her delicately manicured fingers pressed to her left nostril. 

This was a dinner party hosted by Osbourne himself, in honor of his granddaughter’s eighteenth birthday. You were rather fond of Maya Langley; she was the perfect combination of sweet and bold. Unlike her older brother, she knew where to draw the line, but she was not afraid to have a little more fun than the average person. You smiled as you watched her, her mother, her grandfather, and Bryce take the stage, admiring how beautiful she looked in her lovely white dress, before bringing your attention to Bryce. He was looking right at you, his signature charming grin lighting up his entire face, sending you a playful wink. You couldn’t help but giggle softly, your eyes remaining on him as each family member made their little toast. He was so happy, so social, so charming-- the only people who didn’t like Bryce Langley were the people who were jealous of him. They saw perfection when they looked at him, as they should; his tall stature, toned body, and handsome face made up the physical aspect, but throw in that he was also educated, friendly, and fun to be around? He had every woman pining after him and every man wishing they could be him.

They didn’t see what you, unfortunately, could see. They didn’t know what you knew.

_______________________

“You know, Finn, I like you. You’re a good kid.”

You arched an eyebrow with amusement as Bryce placed a hand on Finn’s shoulder, his other arm wrapped around your side as he held your body close to his. “Bryce. Don’t do this, it’s embarrassing,” Maya hissed, and you couldn’t help but laugh softly. They were cute together, and while some older brothers may have been at the ready to kill when it came to their protectiveness over their little sisters, Bryce had never quite been the type. “Maya, Maya, please. Let me speak. There’s nothing embarrassing about giving a guy a compliment.” There was a mischievous smile plastered on Bryce’s face as he waved his sister off, bringing his attention back to Finn who looked half uncertain but half amused at the same time. “Finn, we may have only met a few weeks ago, but I think you’re a good match for my sister. In fact, I already see you as a part of the family. You’re like, my new baby brother now.” You smiled upon seeing the beam this brought to Finn’s face; you knew he had fallen for Maya pretty hard, and it was clear that his feelings were returned. However, you couldn’t help but glance up towards Bryce, trying to look for even the tiniest of hints in those deep blue eyes. You hated being so suspicious of him, especially when he had given no reason; he had been nothing but kind to Finn, and they seemed to be getting along great. You supposed it was because he was so good at hiding his instability that you constantly suspected him-- you never knew when he could snap, when his brain would convince him to do something he shouldn’t. 

You decided you wanted to be optimistic this time. Perhaps he was growing. He was expanding his relationships and learning how to be a better person for the people close to him. 

“Thanks, Bryce.” The boy replied, still smiling as he slowly moved his hand to Maya’s, holding it tightly. “That means a lot, really.” 

A deep laugh echoed from Bryce’s throat as he thumped the younger boy’s back, momentarily removing his arm from your waist to reach over to a nearby caterer, taking two glasses of champagne and handing it to the couple. “Of course. You ever need anything, you come to me, got it?” He returned to squeezing your side again, leaning down to kiss the top of your head. “Now I’ll let you two lovebirds be, I’ve got my own little lovebird who I would like to pay way more attention to.” He grinned down at you before winking at Finn and Maya, earning a scoff but slight smile from the younger Langley. “See ya guys at the afterparty.”

You smiled as he led you away, though turned to face him soon after to stand on your tiptoes and wrap your arms around his neck. “I’m glad you and Finn are becoming such good friends,” you murmured, leaning upwards to give him a peck on his lips. “It’s strangely… refreshing having someone here who doesn’t come from a family of millionaires. Your grandfather must really think highly of his mother to have moved them out here so she could be his physical therapist.”

He smiled as he listened to you, rubbing your waist as he gazed down into your eyes. “You know financial status doesn’t matter to me. Even if you didn’t come from a family of millionaires, I’d still love you the same.” He teased, leaning down to return your peck. “Money doesn’t make a person’s character.” You looked up at him curiously, standing flat on your feet now but letting your hands casually run over his biceps through the expensive material of his suit. “What does make a person’s character?”

He hummed thoughtfully, tilting his head before looking down at you with an oddly sly smirk that made you feel strangely unsettled. “I’m still thinking about that. I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

[mini-cryptid]

Who Are You, Really?

Chapter One - Rebel

Word count: 5,428

First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Warnings: Non-graphic character death, vomiting

-

[81 Years Ago, 1920

Richie had been residing in the neibolt house the day he had met him, he had been quietly watching from his favourite spot up in one of the higher windows of the house, it was were he frequented the most, reading something that humans had made, a ‘comic book’ was what the human at the market place had called it those many years ago when Richie had first gotten it.

This one kind of reminded Richie a bit of himself, the character in the pictures had abilities to that of the creature humans had named ‘spiders’. Richie supposed that's what he was- well at least partly considering Richie had a very much more human appearance than a spider, the only parts of him not being human being the extra set of limbs and the more sharpened teeth- to the point where they were almost like fangs. 

Richie blinked looking at the extra set of limbs that he had currently curled around himself in a sort of protective- and comforting matter, blowing a soft sigh as his gaze went from the comic book down to the street, basking in the idea of what it would be like had Richie been born human, just another clueless one who could live out a limited but happy life.

It was an odd thought to occur to him but the more he dwelled on it the more he wished it was true, he wasn’t entirely sure why he thought this way, all he knew was that he did not enjoy his current life and ways one bit at all, but what can you do when it's all your made for? All he can do is dream.

Richies eyebrow quirked up as he looked below to see an alone someone enter the house, he had been so caught up in his thoughts he hadn’t even noticed them walk up to the house until now, closing the comic book and putting it to the side for later Richie allowed his extra limbs to deform, crunching and folding up into his back and he allowed his eyes to return to a normal deep brown rather than the black sclera and bright orange pupils they naturally sat at.

Flicking his eyes back down towards the street to see that the human was no longer standing out the front and instead must have entered the house, Richie huffed getting off from his seat at the window and begrudgingly shuffling down the stairs, from where he was he could hear the young boy mumbling to himself something about “a stupid dare” and “if I die I’m sueing those fuckers.” which caused Richie to relax a bit, just some stupid kids doing stupid stuff.

It probably caused him to relax a bit to much as he wasn’t focusing on where the kid probably was in the house anymore, so when he rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs, the last thing he expected was to hear an ear-piercing shriek and a sudden blow to the side of his head, and with an “Ow! Fuck!” He fell to the ground, his glasses being knocked off his face.

His hand moved up to rub at the side of his head as he looked up to see the same young boy standing over him with a baseball bat in hand and a horrified look on his face as he quickly dropped it in favor of kneeling down next to Richie, his hand scrambling for the others fallen glasses, “Holy shit dude, I’m so fucking sorry- you scared the crap out of me!”

Richie gratefully took back his glasses as they were offered to him, blinking as he turned to them as they offered a hand which Richie cautiously took, “I’m Finn Tozier,” He said as their hands shook, “And you are?” He inquired as their hands separated, Richie frowned, narrowing his eyes at the human,

“Richie,” He finally grunted as a response as the both of them stumbled back up to their feet, Richie using the currently peeling wall beside him as support as he looked towards the boy to take in more features of him, the first and most confronting thing was that this was not a kid, rather he looked more in his mid-to-late teenage years. The second was that he was at least 6ft tall, causing him to practically tower over Richie, but he wasn’t tall in a threatening way, he was scrawny, and his limbs were lanky and he looked rather uncomfortable with himself.

He had pale skin, light brown eyes and hair and there was slight stubble growing back on his chin, he was a generic awkward teen Richie quickly realised, he sighed reaching his hand up to touch as his head where the bat had struck, Richie didn’t feel pain so much as to the extent that humans did however there was still an uncomfortable throbbing there and he grimaced a bit as he pulled his hand back away to find blood lightly staining his fingertips.

“Oh shit, you’re fuckin’ bleeding, here let me-” The boy- or Finn cut himself off in favour of moving closer to Richie and using his hands to brush Richie’s curls out of the way to see where he had hit, in response to this Richie hissed- yes literally hissed at him batting him away quickly, “I’m fine.” He huffed.

Finn shook his head, “Nope you’re not,” He said, grabbing Richie’s wrist “C’mon my house isn’t too far away, I’ll help you clean the wound.” He said and before Richie could react he was being tugged out of the house, frowning, It had told him to never leave the house unguarded, to always be there in the years It wasn’t active, just in case.

In this case Richie hadn’t left the house in twenty-six years with It due to come back in roughly six months, he pouted a bit in thought as he was steered towards the front door by the human before thinking fuck it, after all every cycle nothing bad had ever happened when he was at the house so what were the chances that this one time he left that something bad would happen?

Besides, maybe this will help Richie to further understand the humans and the way they lived throughout their day to day lives, because despite the interest and curiosity of himself being discouraged by Pennywise he couldn’t help the ever growing inquisitiveness that expanded in his chest with each day that passes in this boring house.

So Richie let himself be steered down the street and away from the house he was currently meant to be protecting, away and into town by this kid, this kid who didn’t even know who Richie was but wanted to help him, this kid that took him by surprise and hit him over the head with a bat, this kid who- was very talkative Richie was finding as they made their way down the street.

“I mean like, it was completely accidental but also dude what were you doing at that house?” Finn had asked, giving him a sideways smirk to which Richie responded by sticking his tongue out at the other, an action that caught himself by surprise as usually when he was befriending the humans he would take on a more serious persona, he would have his shoulders squared but also in a nervous hunch, however currently his shoulders were relaxed at his sides and he found himself in general relaxed in the presence of Finn despite only knowing him for a few minutes, it was strange- and it was different, but a good different, one that made an unfamiliar warm feeling well up in Richie’s chest.

Finn just replied with a soft chuckle which in turn made a ghost of a smile appear toy on Richie’s own face, “Hey man, I’m just saying, it’s kinda creepy you were just stalking around the house alone!” 

Richie just scoffed, “You were doing the exact same thing!” He shot back quickly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Can’t prove it!” Finn said, smiling stupidly when Richie made an incoherent splutter of mixed noises, and he continued, feigning an innocent voice as he held his hand to his chest, the other one remaining with its light grip on the bat that he had picked up on the way out of the house, “My dearest Richie, are you suffering a concussion?” He asked, his voice progressively going high pitched as he spoke, for this, Richie shoved him swallowing his own laughter he could feel wanting to bubble out.

This only made Finn continue his act out but more passionately as his hand moved up to his forehead in faux horror, “He’s getting violent! Oh dear we must fix him up as quickly as we can!” He cried, grabbing Richie’s wrist and dragging him into the house they had taken to stopping outside the front of.

Richie let out a soft “Oh,” as he was tugged through the front door, so this is what a human's house is actually meant to look like on the other side, because despite frequently talking to others younger humans he had never been inside one of their houses, the closest thing he came into was the marketplace that he liked to frequent when It was active and didn’t need him.

“Sit on the couch,” Finn instructed, pointing to the large piece of furniture, he had dropped the voice now and was now rummaging around underneath the countertop in the kitchen as Richie sat down, fumbling with his own hands as he tried not to make his observations of the house clear

It was clean, really clean inside, no dust or dirt was trekked inside, no cobwebs or overgrowth in sight, everything was neat and looked in properly in place- it was nice.

Finn suddenly plopped down next to him, a blue square looking thing in hand, he held it out to Richie who cautiously took it with furrowed eyebrows- it was cold? He looked back to Finn who was looking at him with an expectant gaze, maybe it was like that medicine stuff one of the others always had to take? 

Hesitantly, Richie rose it up towards his mouth and when not protest came from Finn he bit down on it to which he let out a soft “Ow!” As Finn let out a shout of surprise wacking it away from Richie’s mouth.

“Did you just-” Finn had to cut himself off as he burst out laughing and Richie felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment, “Did you just try to-” He tried again but couldn’t and doubled over clutching his stomach, “try to eat the ice pack?” He finally got out.

Richie just blushed harder.

-

Richie had intended for it to be a one time thing, for them to only meet that once and then Richie would go back to living at the house on Neibolt on street, he would continue to stay on guard and on watch until It came back once again, and It would be soon, It could come back anytime now which meant it was not a good idea whatsoever for Richie to be anywhere outside of the house.

But yet he still found himself constantly hanging out with Finn frequently still, they often would catch up whenever Richie got bored at the house which he found he did more often than he ever used to recently, ever since becoming well, friends with Finn. He found himself wanting more, wanting to make more memories, learn more about the humans lives, more than he ever had, he wanted to feel and experience life like they do, he wanted more of a purpose.

Finn helped give him that. 

Richie had learned a lot in the last few months of him spending time with Finn, he learnt that kids often frequented places called the ‘movies’ where they would watch people inside large screens act out storylines and interesting actions, Richie had been incredibly confused the first time Finn had taken him there and he was pretty sure that’s also when Finn started becoming suspicious of Richie’s origins.

He never outwardly said it but Richie got the vibe from him sometimes that he wanted to know more, he wanted to learn more about Richie and why Richie was so strange and didn’t know basic human things, Richie however always brushed him off.

He would sound insane, and frankly, he found himself not wanting to even tell Finn, it would probably scare him off and Richie felt a heavy feeling in his chest whenever he thought about how he had scared so many others like Finn but hadn’t known them.

How could he do that?

With each day passing Richie found himself hating himself even more, regretting everything he had ever done, his chest tightening and a weight that hadn’t felt heavier on his shoulders felt like he could crumble under it any second and be crushed.

Richie didn’t understand why he felt this way, he felt all these terrible feelings over the very thing he was made to do, something he shouldn’t think twice about doing, was he broken?

Richie in the past had always tried to push these feelings away whenever they grew strong in his mind, and he usually could with effort, he was able to take his mind off what he was actually doing and get his job- his purpose done. 

But it was like his life so far had been a spiral staircase and Finn had been a small pebble scattered on one of the stairs that Richie had accidentally tripped on and he was now falling in the downward spiral of the staircase and he couldn’t stop. 

Currently Richie was sitting on a swing attached to a tree in the barrens and Finn was a couple metres away sitting on the ground, both of them weren’t talking as they were both too busy indulging themselves in comics, after Richie had found out that Finn had a much larger comic collection compared to Richie’s which in reality, only consisted of two he had practically spent the night reading all of them whilst Finn slept, afterall, Richie didn’t need much sleep, two or three hours could typically last him a fortnight. However, he often did follow humans sleeping patterns of sleeping at night and waking up when the sun rises again, anything to learn more about them and how they live, he supposed.

They were both sitting in a comfortable silence, aside from the noise of animals such as bird, the occasional rumble of passing cars and the even more frequent of pages turning as they both read.

That’s when Richie felt it, the deep tug on his gut, one that only ever happened when It resurfaced, when It was waking up. he found himself quickly throwing the comic book to the ground and jumping off the tire swing he collapsed onto the dirt ground, not even reacting as a few stray pebbles dug into his palms as he retched violently onto the leaf-littered floor. 

Vaguely hearing Finn’s “Holy shit,” before feeling his hand on Richie’s shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze of comfort as Richie continued for another couple of minutes before leaning backward, Finn carefully moving to sit down next to him with crossed legs, “Want to tell me what that was?” He asked, giving a small chuckle, “See something too gorey wussy?” He asked, nodding towards the discarded comic book, chuckling lightly.

Richie shoved him away, a small smirk playing at his lips despite the despair expanding quickly in his chest and tightening in his throat because he couldn’t avoid it now- he couldn’t avoid the fact that he can’t go back to doing that. It’s stupid- he knows its stupid, he shouldn’t have a problem with doing it, its something he’s told himself so many times, thats just how it works, its how life works, some live, some die. 

So why wouldn’t he be able to do it this time? It’s what he’s always done but even that thought now makes him feel sick to the point where he might as well start vomiting again.

Richie staggered to his feet, ignoring the offered hand from Finn, It had probably already noticed that he wasn’t at the house and that very thought made him want to vomit at the idea of the wrath it was probably in over that fact.

“I needa go,” He mumbled to Finn, adjusting his glasses as he looked up at the other who had concern flickering in their gaze which Richie made a point of ignoring, he needed to leave now before It found out the reason he hadn;t been at the house was because he had been hanging out with a human.

But with that thought Finn suddenly grabbed his wrist in apparent panic to which Richie just looked up at him with a confused gaze, but Finn just pointed a little further away into the woods and when Richie looked in the direction he felt his stomach drop.

It was there, its basic clown form, and he was looking directly at Richie, a knowing look in his malicious expression, eyes dark and a menacing grin forming on It’s face accompanying Its sharpened teeth. 

It didn’t have to speak words for Richie to see the wrath and bloodlust that shone so clearly in darkened eyes.

Then It started advancing towards them, “Shit, shit, shit! Go, go go!” Richie screeched, his voice shrill and piercing as Finn stumbled backwards, his hand still on Richie’s wrist as he did causing Richie to follow back with him. 

It was only when It let out a loud guttural growl that Finn swept his bat up off the ground- something Richie had found out he took everywhere with him after hanging out with Finn a few times and asking him- for protection Finn had told him.

Not like it was going to do much now, Richie thought bitterly to himself.

They were sprinting through the forest now, their shoes thuds against the ground were practically silent compared to the blood roaring in Richie’s ears. 

Finn was repeating the same chain of three words, which consisted of, “What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck.” Over and over again 

Richie stumbled a bit as his foot got caught in the branch but yet Finn still wasn’t letting go of his wrist and continued to tug Richie along and the action made Richie want to cry, this was happening because of him, Finn could die because of him, yet Finn refused to leave him behind. 

Somewhere, although Richie would deny it, as they ran, in the back of his mind, he knew it was hopeless.

And indeed it was as no more than mere moments later that there were sudden and loud, skittering thuds coming from behind them and Richie didn;t even need to look over his shoulder to know what he would see, Finn however did and he let out an ear-piercing shriek that made Richie wince and anything that hadn’t already fled in the general area were probably well on their way now.

Richie gasped as a large weight from behind sent both him and Finn sprawling and he let out a hacking cough as all the breath was knocked out of his lungs, turning around and scrambling back, his breath hitching as Pennywise had taken on its large true spider form and was looking down at Finn with hungry eyes.

Richie scrambled to his feet, throwing himself between Pennywise and Finn, his eyes narrowing as Its gaze landed down on him, “Richie, Richie, Richie,” It said, low, menacing and mocking, “Oh! How I didn’t expect to come to not only find you not where I told you to stay,” It said, in its disgusting giddy and raspy voice, “But you’re also befriending!”  It continued, giving a laugh that sent chills down Richie’s spine, “Befriending a human!”

“R-Richie, w-what is it talking about?” Finn spoke up from behind him, and Richie wanted to cry at the fear quivering through Finn’s, however he forced himself to ignore him, taking a step backwards as It took one forward, “Stay away from him!” Richie spat fiercely, although he doubted he looked even remotely threatening.

“Oh!” It laughed, eyes shining before a mocking pout appeared on Its face, a fake sort of sadness running through its next words, “You didn’t tell your friend what you really are?” It said, spitting the word ‘friend’ as if it were an insult.

A few months ago Richie would have thought it was too. 

It took another step forward, but this time Richie held his ground, his eyes turning a bright glowing orange as his deadlights flared to life and his sclera darkened, “I said stay away!” Richie snarled, spider legs unfolding and snapping into place in a quick moment as It took another step forward and Richie pretended to not hear Finn’s voice hitch with fear from behind him, it sounded further away than what it had before though which Richie took as a good sign, the further away Finn was the better. 

It only glared down at him, Richie bent his knees a little bit, baring fangs that grew out in a matter of seconds, ready to attack if he needed too to which It just laughed at him, “You don’t scare me, child.” It grinned as they began moving around in a circle, and Richie winced a bit, because it was true, sure for a human’s lifespan he would have been considered old, however in perspective compared to Its age of billions of years he was yet but still a child, a younger replica, a broken replica he thought to himself.

Still, he continued to stand his ground, he wasn’t going to let himself or Finn die without a fight, however the idea of the latter dying because of Richie’s own selfish faults made him shiver a bit at the prospect.

It hardly seemed impressed with Richie’s attempts to make it back down, instead grinning the spider claws connected to its arms grew in length and were suddenly coming for Richie to which his eyes narrowed and he quickly leapt out of their way as they cemented themselves into the ground where he had just been standing.

He landed perched on top of one of them, wobbling a little bit at first as he gained his balance in a few moments before looking up to look at It, but It just grinned, like It was expecting that to happen, like it knew it would and Richie wouldn’t be surprised if It had.

Richie, breathed out heavily through his nose as he leapt towards It’s face before letting out a ‘whumph’ noise as It rose its other arm to block him halfway through the leap and his chest collided with the side of It’s claw, letting out a small wheeze as he scrambled to hold onto it as It tried flinging him off, waving the claw wildly and Richie only let go when It swung the claw up into the air, limbs spreading out as Richie became airborne, looking down as he began falling back down, arms extended as he landed with an impact on Its face, sinking his own spider limbs into each side, ignoring the way It screeched and threw its head back, gritting his teeth as he allowed his limbs to pierce further. 

It stumbled back a bit on large spider appendages as Richie furthered his attack before it let out a screech and before Richie knew it he was being thrown across the clearing before thumping into the tree, knocking all the breath out of him as he fell to the ground sputtering and spitting up droplets of blood onto the forest floor, chest heaving as he desperately tried to get air back into his lungs.

His gaze snapped up from where he lay against the forest floor as the familiar loud and thudding skittering noise approached him and he blinked, slightly disoriented as he noticed that It was coming towards him again, and he swallowed as they locked eyes in a way that was eerily familiar, but then both of their attentions were distracted as It was hit in the side of the head with what appeared to be a small rock, both of their gazes travelling to see Finn standing there, huffing and a beyond furious expression across his face. 

“Finn.” Richie breathed out softly, still unable to gain enough air in his lungs as he watched with wide eyes as It abandoned Its focus from Richie entirely to move towards Finn who in return stumbled back and Finn could see the way he stiffened and fearfully swallowed, as if he hadn’t expected It to abandon Richie for him.

Richie clutched his chest as he tried to push himself up, “Run, you idiot!” He yelled horsley as but Finn however seemed frozen, like a deer in the headlights and the sight of him so afraid made Richie’s blood run cold like a lake in winter. 

And then within mere and unpredictable moments, moments that seemed to move too slowly to be real, one of Its arms extended and stretched,

And in one quick movement It had impaled Finn Tozier right through the middle with a sickening squelsh noise.

Richie screamed.

[Present Time, 2001]

Richie let out an incredibly manly yelp as a hand landed on his shoulder, he had been so caught up in his thoughts as he walked down the street, his eyes darting this way and that in sign of any movement

In any sign of It,

he hadn’t noticed Bill and Stanely follow him out of the house and on instinct Richie snapped his hand up to grab the one on his shoulder, using it to spin himself around and drew his fist back, ready to punch whichever asshole thought messing with him would be a good idea but it soon went slack when he looked up to see it was just Stanely who had immediately let go of Richie and put his hands up in a surrendering manner. 

Richie wanted to scream at them for following him, because they didn’t know, they didn’t know what was happening, they didn’t know what was going to start happening to the kids of the town soon, they didn’t know it wasn’t safe for them to be around Richie.

How was he meant to explain that to them?

He couldn’t.

So instead he let out a forced laugh, “You scared the shit out of me Staniel.” He said, only giving them half his attention as whilst his eyes remained trained on the two losers in front of him, he was still actively hearing and focusing on the surroundings, making sure, needing to know, if It was here or not.

“Yeah well you scared the shit out of all of us!” He hissed, before shivering a bit, only just realising the cold of the night, but he ignored it as he continued “Storming out on all of us like that?” He asked, before grabbing Richie’s wrist, “What’s going on with you ‘Chee, you can trust us.” He said and for the first time Richie made eye contact with Bill who was staring at him, concern in his gaze.

Richie’s gaze dropped back down to the ground, “I’m fine Stan.” He said, “I just think I should be getting back to my place now, my parents are probably worried because I didn’t tell them I was going out tonight.” 

That was a lie, Richie had no parents, Richie had no home, when he wasn’t with the losers club he was either wandering the town or living in the clubhouse Ben had built two summers ago, Richie had been grateful ever since Ben had made it, he loved the little puffball and now Richie had a proper place to sleep that wasn’t at any of the losers houses.

Richie knew they talked about it, the fact that they had never met or seen his parents, the fact that none of their own parents knew any adults in town with the same last name as Richie, the fact that he has never dropped a single hint about where he lived.

They rarely brought it up with him though, ever making offhand comments about it whenever the topic accidentally came up and it would be quickly forgotten after Richie dismissed it. 

“We-well thu-then we’ll w-walk you.” Bill said, stepping forward so he was next to Stan, Richie just shrugged, “I’m good thanks for the offer.” He said, taking a step back and for the first time allowing his eyes to do a sweep of the surroundings nervously.

“C’mon Richie, we’ve never been to your house.” Stan argued, “and it's freezing out.” He added after a few moments as he brought his hands up to rub at his bare arms. 

Richie narrowed his eyes, trying not to get mad, because he loved them, but why couldn’t they just leave him alone when he needed them too, “Nah, my house is on the other side of town,” He lied smoothly, “I’ll be good, you guys go back inside.”

Stanley let out a frustrated sign and Richie winced because he knew he was pushing it, however he had relaxed a bit, maybe It wasn’t going to seek him out, after all, It didn’t during its last cycle either, whilst it had reawoken and fed on kids as it normally did, It hadn’t contacted Richie at all. 

“Wuh-Well then none of us ar-are going,” Bill stuttered, frowning a bit, “I-Im not luh-letting you walk a-across tow-wn alu-alone.” He said grabbing Richie’s wrist and dragging him back towards the house, leaving no room for complaint as he ignored Richie’s stutterd out protests.

-

Richie didn’t sleep, it had been three hours since Bill dragged him back inside and Richie had since refused to speak to any of the losers whenever they asked him if he was okay or what that entire ordeal had been.

He however had made a point of ignoring the questions and anytime one of them shot him a concerned glance, or shrugged them off whenever they tried to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

But he was too busy focusing on listening, and making off-sided glances at the windows, looking for any signs of movement, he had made a few off-hand comments throughout the night to try and seem normal, but he couldn’t help the anxiety and fear expanding in his chest with each moment that passed.

He had thought it was enough, that they would have dropped the situation, in his mind he had acted relatively normal the rest of the evening, at least enough to the point where the others would forge by the morning.

He was the opposite of right, as despite the fact that he had still cracked jokes throughout the night whenever he could, Eddie could still tell something was up with him which is why when he woke up a few hours after all the losers had fallen asleep he wasn’t as surprised when he woke up to find that Richie was still awake.

However, what was strange was that he wasn’t doing anything to entertain himself, he was rather perched on the edge of the armchair in the living room and the more Eddie watched the more he realised Richie’s eyes were darting between the windows, they would stay on one for a few seconds before moving to the next, and after he watched the windows for a while his eyes would glance down to each of the losers, moving from one another.

He was stiff and upright, it was clear he was wide awake and alert.

“What you doin’ Rich?” He asked softly and Richie’s neck might as well have nearly snapped with how quickly he turned to face Eddie, eyes wide for a second before softening and his body relaxed, but even in the dark Eddie could tell it was forced.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Richie shrugged, as he sunk back from his perched position to lean back in the arm chair.

“Right…” Eddie said softly, his brows furrowing in concern.

“Go back to sleep Eds.” Richie said quietly, “I’ll go to sleep soon.”

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie huffed, but rolled back over anyways. 

Eddie however, didn’t fall back asleep, and Richie did not go back to sleep. 

~

Author notes: 

Okay, woo, here we go, I'm officially gonna be writing/finishing this :D

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!! I promise in the next one theres gonna be more of the losers club, I just kinda need to flesh out the backstory before I can continue with the story making sense, you get me? Heck yeah you do!

Also yes, the character is named after Finn Wolfhard because I do what I want and I like irony.

Posting schedule for this will probably be posted on Saturdays or Sundays, each chapter will (hopefully) consist of roughly 5,000 words as I try to spit out 1,000 a day from Monday to Thursday

Due to medical reason I also get two free periods at school instead of doing sport (scoliosis gang where you at?) so if I don't have it done by those period I'll probably use them to write so it's almost guaranteed it should be updated on the weekend unless its a week where I'm truly not motivated to do anything

Also yes since posting the first chapter the timeline has changed a bit, I pushed it back too 2001 instead of having it in 2017 in case I ever wanna maybe take on what would happen in It chapter two in this universe.

I don't care that spider-man wasn't invented until the 1960's you can fight me I just wanted ti have them reading comic books and needed something to compare what Richie is in this, because yeah the idea of him having spider-legs coming out of his back was inspired by the Iron Spider suit

Anygay, thats all from me this week and let me know what you think or just tell me how your day has been :D

Bye guys!!