#also i just. despite his whole i got born again in prison and found the lord (for real this time) and was redeemed schtick

[alliluyevas]

i think addam swapp has one of the creepiest mormon fundie social media pages i've ever seen and he's not even a mormon fundie anymore but his nefarious energy is profound. he comes off as a pretty run of the mill evangelical protestant right winger but knowing his backstory is like ahhhhhhh.

[levi---mccoy]

“I spent the whole day in my head, do a little spring cleaning, I'm always too busy dreaming.” -Mac Miller 

From a very young age, all Levi Petroski knew was heartbreak. The only good thing his parents did for him was make sure he had a brother to look out for him. Levi barely has memory of his parents, much of his first memories being from when they were already living with their grandmother in New Orleans. And Levi was a happy child. Quiet and sweet and willing to do whatever he could to make sure he and Chase didn’t get in trouble. Despite only being two years apart, Chase was often the only real person Levi could rely on and when their grandmother passed away, Levi felt another heartbreak that only brought them closer. 

The years of survival and the years of being back in foster care are memories that have never left Levi’s heart and mind and are a big reason why he does what he does today. Watching Chase do whatever he needed so they could eat or have money for school supplies, all while being insistent that Levi not fall into the same patterns, changed something deeply within him. He felt helpless and like a burden but Chase always assured him that his only job was to go to school and do well. So that’s what he did. Kept his head down, got his work done and occasionally got random jobs around town to help contribute to the care of the two of them. 

Once they were old enough to leave New Orleans, Levi hopped on the back of Chase’s bike and they went west until they ended up in Tonopah Valley where Levi would finish out his last two years of high school under a new last name: McCoy. Levi McCoy, unlike Levi Petroski, was more outgoing. Still flying under the radar but a little less afraid to have fun, now that there was distance between him and his past life. He came out of his shell a bit, made friends and actually enjoyed his last two years of high school before heading off to college. Levi had wanted to stay closer to Tonopah but Chase had insisted that he go for the best opportunity. Which is how he ended up at USC pursuing a degree in English while his brother only got more deeply embedded into cartel life. 

It was during his time in California that he first met Georgie Banks. It was a shock to him to find that a star on the rise such as her could give him the time of day but it was clear to both of them that they had a connection that was deeper than just some summer fling. And so Levi fell in love for the first time, feeling so far removed from the scared kid he had used to be. But heartbreak found him again as graduation came closer and his main goal was to get back home to his brother. And Georgie was Georgie, a star in high demand who couldn’t just settle down with some guy in Tonopah Valley. So they let each other go, with the hope that maybe one day their paths would cross again. 

And Levi came home, eventually pursuing his Masters in business administration while trying to make sure Chase stayed out of prison. Upon his return he also reconnected with his best friend SIlas Decker and after many days of talking, they decided to bring their dream to life. And so The Village Community Center was born. Originally intended to serve at risk youth, the center has grown to be even more and serves people all over Tonopah but still sits in the heart of Webster Village where Levi still lives to this day. 

The years Chase was in prison was especially hard on him and though he went to visit him every week, it took a toll on him. Chase’s release date was one of the happiest of Levi’s life, always feeling more steady when the two of them were side by side. And he’s been hoping since that his brother can get back on track and find a job that won’t put him in danger, though that doesn’t seem to be the case with the deal he cut with Valentina Ricci. 

These are the things that keep him up at night in partnership with all the daily worries that come up at the center. But there’s no doubt that Tonopah Valley is his home. He has a solid house in Webster Village, his brother is a relatively free man, he has a healthy and sweet relationship with Freya Hudson, his girlfriend for the past year and he’s happy. Even when he’s worried, he’s happy. 

But that doesn’t mean heartbreak isn’t around the corner. 

Headcanons:

Coaches the center's grade school basketball and soccer teams for boys and girls. Truly a passion of his and he definitely takes the coach title very seriously. 

The center has definitely become his life since he lives close and has poured all his heart and time into it. But he does try his best to have a life outside of it. When he’s not working he can often be found hanging out downtown. With Chase’s tattoo shop, Freya’s flower shop, a bookstore and good food around, it’s one of his favorite places to be.

Very much does not like the gangs and has focused much of his work on helping youth stay out of them so he’s had his fair share of scuffles protecting his young people but he’s been generally successful, just not with his own brother. 

Definitely a community man, happy to talk to anyone and help them out and has deep love for Webster Village and kind of a bit of resentment towards Glenn Estates. 

Doesn’t mind driving but he also rides his bicycle most places and focuses a lot of time on making sure his bike is taken care of even if the kids clown him for it.

[semi-imaginary-place]

13 sentinels blogging #?? Finishing remembrance

what command ship in orbit?? Oof yeah fights are getting harder, kiddie gloves are coming off.

Juro: Shiba says 426 izumi is 3 times older than kurabe which fits in with him getting "killed" last loop at 32 and being born the previous one. So ida has aged normally he does look 32 but what about morimura she was 32 when she killed izumi and saved teen ida but she died that time. So where'd the current morimura come from either she is escaped the destroyed city and is 48 and the sprite doesnt show it, she got another clone and accelerated it's growth, ida was able to reconstruct her dat despite dying or i once again got the chronology wrong. Oh but there's also the ufo... I really need to go check the event viewer. And then there's okino who i cant tell if they've been using sector 0 or not. I take back everything, nope im just confused. Unless the prison scene happened before the he killed the compatible. Wait why is onishi here i though each loop every person is recreated in the same sector. Ok... Morimura was a student 1 loop ago... Oh i forgot that ida wouldn't normally age past 16 so when we see him at 19? 20? That must have been the next loop. Yeah i dont know when any of these events happen.

Ok so morimura WAS trying to turn kurabe juro into 246 izumi juro, got confused whether it was just 426 in shiba or if morimura was also trying. Morimura was already trying to recreate 426 izumi before kurabe juro ever found 426 in the android. And then kurabe tamao was the one to create the kurabe juro personality. I'm assuming this is android tamao, grandma tamao really is a wasted character but if an older version exists in 1984 why dont we see 56 year old versions of the other characters? Like older miura and hijiyama in 1984. 426: hey what if we changed the rules of the game so that we scored points for every kill, a meta prize. Damn this game because scored points from kills are how the neta system is upgraded. Wait that also means in the 426 izumi was the one that saved everyone because as seen in the final battle he did change the rules and now i can upgrade sentinels with meta chips. Wasn't sure for.. well even now if his method of saving the world would even work considering he also tried the kill everyone strat. Hmm this is the 2nd? 3rd time megumi, is 426 really the cat?? But that last scene from 2188 implies the cat is 2188 major izumi. 2188 juro war buddies with megumi's dad.

Time to sort through events. Right ufo okino died to get morimura and izumi out to sector 0. Next .loop they're undocumented and bomb shikishima's interstellar project. Oooh prison scene is earlier. Right morimura had to leave izumi behind so he got imprisoned as 426. Kaiju invade, morimura picks up ida and the other compatible. 426 izumi does the murdering. Morimura sacrifices herself to send ida to sector 0. Oooh I see the morimura of ida's loop was also sent with him that's how she end up 16 years "in the past" and also meeting up with ida. I see where i hot confused, forgot there could be multiple morimuras running around at the same time. The other part i was confused about was last time i saw the scene i still thought the two morimuras were the same person but no they're from different loops. So ida and morimura on sumire bridge are the current ones in the game. So it is 3 loops total: okino morimura izumi ufo, most of the stuff, the ida and morimura from the last loop but not the older one he was with in the current loop. Watched relentless nightmare again, sooo that means he failed to kill the morimura of that loop, that shot wasnt fatal because she then grts sent to sector 0 and the current loop. Rewatching reunion see morimura wonders if okino and juro escaped thats why i linked it with the ufo scenes but nope not connected.

Megumi: huh you saying that tamaobot was juro's "baa-chan' this whole time because that's who megumi made a deal with to live with juro. Cat is tied to juro's physical location, yeah wow izumi i think has more costume changes than morimura. So the "magic gun" expands the deimos' capabilities but why do that, unless only way to upgrade sentinels is to let deimos upgrade too an arm race... So was 426 izumi wandering around as an android AND a cat or did the cat only come after the android was destroyed... Or maybe the cat was plan B from the start. Gonna be real this is my least favorite romance so far juro shows no interest in megumi the entire game and it's only in this one scene where he suddenly loves her. To be fair his head is a mess with 3 set of memories and a new personality but still there like no build up or chemistry. Also this is the only scene where he has current loop's izumi juro's memories. Actually scratch that last sentence he does reference piloting in the final battle. Im not even against this romance in concept if anything in concept its really interesting but i didnt like how it played out in game. Maybe its the insomnia talking but does that mean 13 sentinels had catboys all along.

Shu: miyuki being tomi actually makes sense. History with ida who is the one chasing her communications, former live steam singer and last i know of she 426 stole her android body and rhen she because the AI of a sentinel in the failed battle of 2064. "We're genetically identical" is such a devastating insult coming from ida. Ida is such a control freak, says he loves kisaragi tomi but refuses to respect her as a person or allow her any automony. Sentinel 16 is outside the sectors in orbit (or what) inside the command ship i dont know what that means. The moment black suit put away his gun yuki should have grabbed ida's. Eh natsuno i dont remember this.

Ryoko: 426 set up the shifting gates? Gouto says that it was shinonone that gave 426's code to sekigahara that caused the dd426 infection in the battle of 2064. Ahh this is what i get for taking a break i dont remember why 426 caused the infection. Then what was it that ida had ei do to modify the sentinels in 2064? But the flashback reveals that ida wanted ryoko to secretly use dd426 to unlock the sentinels abilities and make them more powerful, going behind morimura's back once again. Ryoko puts dd-426 in ei's sentinel to prove that ida was right. Morimura fails to get the deinfection password from ryoko before she loses her memories. With the sentinels infected morimura gives up on using them which begs the question why are they used in the final battle is everyone just going to get brain damage? Dd-426 sounds like a precursor to the meta chip upgrade system so its possible the magic gun fixed everyone. How did ida get dd-426? Were they working together?

Tomi: ah so thats how they ended up cooperating she was blackmailing okino see this is why i like tomi. Hmm the end of tomi's story matches up with the begining of juro's. The orbiting command ship is an artificial satellite that presides over terraforming for the second stage of the interstellar development project but werent the sectors stuck in 3rd/final phase? Inaba can see all the residential ward system from space huh maybe we arent in the matrix unless the satellite is a part of it too.

[niconebula]

First of all thank you 'silverlady7' on Reddit for discovering the following, I would not have known at all myself. I think we can pretty reliably figure out who The Collector is because of this - so this is just going to be my full analysis post. Long read ahead.

The Collector is most likely based off of Yugi from Tenchi in Tokyo, which did air on Toonami in the early 2000s. Yugi was an incredibly powerful child who was imprisoned in a tomb for three thousand years after she and the creatures she created ravaged the planet she came from, though in her mind they were just playing. It seems she was conscious all those years, but completely alone, and never aging past the mind and body of a six year old.

The thing that locks this in is that we already have a reference to this show - Eda's design and personality was directly based off of Ryoko.

It makes it more interesting with the use of these floating rocks around the Collector's little prison bubble, which can be seen in the anime as the way to seal / defeat Yugi where she's literally begging not to be left all alone in the dark again.

She's ultimately redeemed at the end by the main character (in one of the fastest redemptions I've literally ever witnessed from watching the clip, lol). It's fair to say we can expect that to happen in the end with The Collector - and I'd prefer it greatly, I'd like Belos to remain the main big bad.

It bodes well for the idea that King and the Collector will become allies too. Not during the redemption part, but before that. Even while Yugi has reawakened and is doing her most villainous deeds on Earth, she creates an alternate persona for the sole purpose of being able to play with her only friend Sasami (who is in another connection, the princess of the planet that Yugi destroyed thousands of years ago).

So, up to this point: The Collector was literally just a kid drunk with the sheer power he held, who one day went too far and was imprisoned for it. They learned to want revenge solely for the sake of it, after being lonely for thousands of years.

Now, part 2.

The Collector wasn't even from the Demon Realm. They're from a third celestials dimension.

Now this is a very famous painting called the 'Garden of Earthly Delights' by Heironymous Bosch depicting eden, earth, and hell. Bosch was a big inspiration for The Owl House - Dana cites him and his works multiple times as the aesthetic behind the Boiling Isles. Boscha you might notice, is also named after him.

Oh yeah, the whole show is based off of religion. I first got the idea of the Collector being a (fallen) angel because of the oddity of Belos deciding to put so much trust within him - despite the Collector also being magic and an inhabitant of the Demon Realm.

The theory has a lot of weight with his aesthetics and the mural paintings from King's Birthplace. Their design directly invokes the sky - the sun, the moon, and the stars.

The Collector's imagery is all over the temple, but in this mural I believe the comet coming down could be a sign that the Collector was 'born' from a comet falling from the heavens, which stranded them alone on the Boiling Isles those thousands of years ago. Furthermore and back to Yugi, she was likewise sent out on a comet that eventually found it's way to earth.

The mural and whole design is also an interesting signal that the relationship between the Collector and the Titans may not always have been so fraught, or really wasn't that much at all. I don't think you'd decorate a temple / your baby's nursery with the symbols of your species' greatest enemy all over the place. I believe it may have just been the fallout of two kinds of godlike beings who's ideals eventually clashed with each other; which carries on every other theme in the show so far about families being torn apart.

[eirikaanemo]

Can You Keep A Secret?

Warnings: imprisonment, mentions of starvation and sickness

Note: I haven't actually played Dvalin's quest but I tried to keep it as close to canon as possible. Feel free to leave a comment or message me if you see something wrong.

Venti x GN!Reader

1.9k Words

Your soulmate is secretly Barbatos... now what?

Everyone has a soulmate. And everyone is born knowing your soulmate's biggest secret. For most people it’s really unhelpful, but for some people it helps them find their soulmate. You’re in the latter group, because yours gives you a name.

You've known your whole life that your soulmate is secretly Barbatos. It's… interesting, to say the least. Of course you'd never dare to tell anyone. Thankfully, asking someone what their soulmate’s secret is isn’t very common. It’s considered to be very rude, so no one asks you what your secret is. They'd think you're crazy!

Barbatos hasn't been around for centuries and you're a mortal. This is the sort of thing you would read about in trashy romance novels! But even though it’s crazy and kind of overwhelming, you know it's true. You don't know if he'd ever accept you or want to be with you, in fact, you’re pretty sure he won’t, but you want to try.

Once that’s settled, you just have to find him. If he's anywhere, it's probably the city of Mondstadt. That’s where he seems to have shown up the most in the past, after all. So you move to Mondstadt. It’s a nice place and the people are friendly. Finding a job with the Knights of Favonius was fairly easy and it paid pretty well.

Unfortunately, the 'Storm-terror' problem starts shortly after you move. He throws the whole city into chaos the first time, and then proceeds to keep doing it regularly. The fear is all encompassing, but that's fine, you try to convince yourself. It will all be worth it when you find him. ‘If you find him’, your traitorous mind whispers.

It's been months, a year even, and you're starting to lose hope. How were you expecting to find Barbatos anyway? Shout from the rooftops for him to reveal himself and whisk you away? He hasn't been around for a long time and you knew that. And to be honest, at this point you've given up.

Going home is the logical thing to do, it’s where your family is after all. But you stay because you made yourself a home here. You have friends: Jean, Lisa, and Kaeya. You have come to love the city: music, freedom, and camaraderie. Well, you love the city except for the 'Storm-terror' attacks. Those aren't very lovable.

What concerns you the most though is that 'Storm-terror' is a dragon. And dragons trend to be important (like, archon important). But no one seems to remember this one. So you research. You visit the cathedral and speak with some nuns. You dedicate some time to listening to bard’s tales, asking them if they know any songs about dragons. One does, and it's surprisingly informational. You spend time at the library, pouring through book after book. And after all this investigation, you've come to the conclusion that 'Storm-terror' is actually Dvalin of the Four Winds. Not that anyone actually believes you

It didn't stop you from telling people your theory though, and being more respectful in how you refer to him, despite all the damage he's caused. Eventually they do start considering it and the city starts catching on. If you keep doing this, you may be able to change the city's perspective of and reaction to Dvalin.

The abyss mage catches on to this, and he just can't let that happen. It could compromise the whole plan. So one day he has Dvalin abduct you and locks you up. And true to your luck, this happens out of the blue while you’re taking a walk that you’d finally convinced Jean to go on with you. Which, of course, reverses all your progress and makes the situation even worse than it was before. Incidentally, this also does the exact opposite of what you’d been trying to do by stressing out poor Jean more.

The abyss mage doesn’t care about anything other than making sure you’re not able to go back to Mondstadt. The mage does not care about human necessities. Who cares if you die? Not him. He hates humans. It's kind of part of his job description.

Your prison is where Dvalin retreats to when not attacking. And the mage has to go report to someone else sometimes, giving you opportunities to speak with Dvalin. He never responds to you, but you can tell he eventually starts listening. You start by rambling about various subjects; then talking about how you know he's Dvalin, and that you're sorry he was being treated like he was, once you know he is listening. Because while you don’t know the whole situation, you know that he feels hurt by how humans have treated him.

After several days of talking to him, he slowly starts warming up to you. It’s a strange sort of bond that grows stronger as time goes on. He starts responding and the two of you actually have conversations instead of just you talking. Eventually you even mention how you know your soulmate is actually Barbatos and that you've kind of given up finding him.

He gives a thoughtful hum, lets you vent out your feelings, tries to think of an appropriate response, then allows you to drop the subject once you’ve worn yourself out emotionally. It’s becoming obvious that your health, physical, mental, and emotional, is degrading faster as time goes on.

One day Dvalin and the mage both disappear for longer than usual. After the mage makes sure you won’t be able to escape, of course. It’s not like you would’ve been able to leave anyway. At that point you’re not able to do much at all.

Little did you know that only Dvalin would be returning. They ended up facing the traveler and their companions in battle, and Dvalin was freed from the mage’s influence. The first thing Dvalin does is take them to help "the one decent human, that he actually cares about". You're in bad shape at this point, starving, sick, and weak. But you’re aware enough to hear Jean call your name and feel someone gather you in their arms before blacking out.

When you wake up you're at the cathedral and are feeling much better. Certainly you are not fully recovered, that will take weeks. That one bard who was able to play you a song about Dvalin is always there. You vaguely remember him being there when you were found. He doesn’t really interact with you much, he’s just kind of there, but he does play peaceful music that helps you fall asleep when you’re struggling to rest.

Then the day comes for you to go home. They’ve done all they can for you and you’re past the worst of it. But you’re well enough to be out and about. “Now you take care of yourself,” Barbara lectures you. “Don’t push yourself, get plenty of rest, drink lots of water, and eat three square meals a day, got it?”

“Got it,” you confirm. “Thank you for taking care of me, I really appreciate your help.” She smiles, wishes you well, and returns to the cathedral. You take a moment to breathe and just appreciate being back home, free of your prison and the small cathedral room they’d kept you in while treating you.

Taking a deep breathe you start on your way home. “Hey!” You hear someone exclaim behind you. “Could you hold on a second?” Turning around, you see the bard quickly excusing himself from a street performance before running to catch up to you. Once he’s caught up, he gives you a smile.

“Hi! I’m Venti the bard! Would you be willing to speak with me about something? It’s kind of private so we would need to go to windrise or something, but you’ll want to hear this, I promise.” He says. “Alright,” you agree, “but I can’t make it all the way to windrise. Would my home do? I live alone so we’ll have privacy.” He nods, “that’ll work great!”

The walk home is quiet but comfortable. The bard’s content to hum a tune as he follows you through the streets. Soon you’re home, unlocking the door to let you and your guest in. You lead him over to the couch where you both sit down. “So,” you say, “what did you want to talk about?”

“Well, I was talking with Dvalin a day or so after we freed both of you and he said you mentioned you came to Mondstadt searching for your soulmate. And that you said your soulmate’s biggest secret, the one that you know, is that they’re Barbatos,” he explains. You feel a pang of betrayal at Dvalin’s actions and some guilt for sharing your soulmate’s secret in the first place.

It probably showed on your face because he quickly spoke up again. “He didn’t just tell me for no reason though. You see, I am Barbatos. I’m your soulmate.” Your head, which had been drooping with the weight of your emotions suddenly shot up as you fumbled for a response.

Apparently that showed too because he continued, “And I’m sorry I made it so hard for you to find me. I’m sorry I almost made you give up on me. Most of my waking time is spent incognito so I can watch over everyone while not being put in a position of authority. I didn’t anticipate meeting you ”

There’s a moment or two of silence as you gather your thoughts. “It’s okay,” you assure him. “I understand why you did what you did and I’ll never hold it against you. How were you supposed to know I was even born yet, not to mention that I’ve been in the area searching for you.”

You take another moment or two to gather your wits. “I will also understand if you don’t want to do anything about this,” you state. “I don’t want you to feel forced into having a relationship with me if you don’t want to. The last thing I’d want to do is be responsible for making you miserable. And that’s not to mention how you’re an archon and I’m just a mortal.”

Your talking speeds up as you start rambling, losing control of the conversation as you feel more and more nervous. Once you realize you’re rambling you shut your mouth with a click. “Sorry about that,” you mutter. “I do that sometimes when I’m nervous.”

When you chance a glance at him, he honestly looks a little offended but mostly just really sad. “Is- is that really what you think I think about this?” He asks softly. “Because it’s not. I absolutely want this. I absolutely want you. I’ve been looking forward to this moment for millenia and I wouldn’t give this up for the world.”

He reaches over and slowly, hesitantly, so as to give you time to escape if you want, gathers you into his arms. You realize that he’s the one who picked you up to bring you home. Your ear rests against his chest as lean against him, and his heart skips a beat as you gently grab one of his hands and kiss it. “I’m glad,” you breathe. “I’m glad too,” he voices softly.

You yawn, feeling the exhaustion from your journey home and the rest of the day hit you. He pulls you close and whispers in your ear, “Sleep well, my cecilia, I’ll be here when the sun comes up and when you wake up.” You fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

[drabbles-mc]

Anything For Family

Juice Ortiz x Reader

Request (I don’t have the URL of the person who requested this anymore so sorry I can’t tag you!): Can you write an imagine of Juice where his old lady has a son from a previous relationship that he has raised him as his own, the little boy calls him dad even when knows he is not his dad, one day the biological father return and wants his son so he kidnapped the reader and the little boy and Juice save them.

Warnings: language, kidnapping

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: This was super different from the stuff that I usually write, so sorry if it’s a little clunky. Hope you enjoy it!

You smiled to yourself as you watched Juice pushing your son on your backyard swing set. The three of you had come so far as a family. Juice came crashing into your life a couple years after your son was born, and somehow the thought of being a step-father didn’t scare him away, the same way that the knowledge of him being part of the MC didn’t scare you away either. You hadn’t expected him to take to the family thing so quickly, but you could tell very shortly after the two of you had gotten together that he was in it for the long-haul.

You son’s biological father had been out of the picture for years. He knew that Juice wasn’t his first dad, but he was the only one that he had really any connection with. He was six years old now, and for four of those years Juice was the only constant male figure in his life—he even referred to him as dad and that made both you and Juice inexplicably happy.

“No higher on that swing,” you were saying it mostly to Juice but it didn’t hurt for both of them to hear.

“But Mom,” your son whined.

“Don’t make me come over there, Lucas,” you tried to sound firm but there was a smile on your face.

Juice took a step back, holding his hands up in surrender, “Whatever Mom says, goes. You know that.”

“Please, Dad?” he begged, “Just one more push?”

Juice looked over to you and you shook your head, “Juan Carlos I swear…”

There was a smile on Juice’s face as he stepped away from the swing. He walked around to the front of the swing set so he could better see just how high Lucas was going. He laughed as he watched him.

“Your mom is right, Luke, that’s high enough.”

You watched the two of them, your fingers idly spinning the rings on your finger. You and Juice had only been together for a year when you decided to get married, but both of you knew that you didn’t need more time to figure it out. Everything just fit and there was no point in delaying the inevitable. Your life together hadn’t been smooth-going all of the time, but at the end of the day you knew that there was no one in the world that you would rather have by your side raising a family with you. There were a few occasions that you wanted to ask Juice if he wanted to bring another child into your family, but the timing never seemed quite right to start that conversation.

“Dinner is going to be ready soon,” you called over to them, “So get ready to come in and wash up.”

You made your way back inside and started to set out plates and silverware for the three of you at the table. You hummed happily to yourself as you got everything situated for your two favorite men.

You were grabbing glasses out of the cupboard when you heard your phone vibrating on the counter. You glanced over and when you saw the name on your screen, you were sure that you had to be imagining things.

“Hello?”

“Don’t sound so surprised, baby,” he laughed.

“What do you want, Mike?” you were trying to sound cold and annoyed, but there was crippling fear coursing through you as you attempted to steady the hand that was holding the phone.

“I just want to spend some time with my son, with my family.”

“Not a fucking chance,” you shook your head despite the fact that he couldn’t see you, “You gave that up when you took off and then got yourself fucking arrested,” you looked outside to make sure that Juice and Luke weren’t coming inside yet.

“Well, I’m out now and you can’t keep him from me, Y/N. You two are my family and you can’t take that away from me.”

“I sure fucking can,” you hit the hang-up button and let out a shaky breath.

Over four years and you hadn’t heard a word from your ex, so why now? You never thought about what would happen when he got out of prison. Truthfully, you assumed that regardless of when he got out, he wasn’t going to want anything to do with you or with Lucas. He wasn’t ready to be a father back then, and you assumed that a few years on the inside wasn’t going to change any of that.

Your spiraling thoughts were interrupted when your son and Juice came crashing into the house roaring with laughter, blissfully unaware of what had just happened. Luke scampered off to the bathroom to wash his hands before dinner and Juice found himself beside you in the kitchen. He searched your face, his smiling dropping away when he realized that something was off.

“What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, “I, um, fuck,” you nervously ran your hands through your hair, “Mike just called.”

His eyes grew wide, “Luke’s father?”

“His sperm donor,” you muttered bitterly.

“What’d he want?”

You shrugged, “He’s out now, I guess. Wants to see Luke and I. He, uh,” tears were stinging at your eyes, “he didn’t sound like he was going to take no for an answer.”

He gently wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest, “Does he know where we are now?”

You shook your head, “Not that I know of. He doesn’t even know that I’m married. When…when he left I cut all ties with him.”

He nodded, “Okay,” he kissed your temple, “That’s good. Listen, if he reaches out again, let me know. I can look into him and see where he’s at now.”

“I don’t want you getting wrapped up in this, Juan.”

“Hey,” he tilted your chin so you were looking up at him, “I’ll do everything and anything to make sure that you and Luke are safe and happy, okay? There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for the two of you.”

Before the two of you could continue the conversation, Luke came bounding into the kitchen, looking excitedly over at the meal you had prepared. Juice gave you a quick kiss on the lips and went about bringing the last of the dishes over to the table, giving you a moment to try and collect yourself before dinner.

Once dinner was done, the dishes washed, and Luke was tucked into bed, Juice came and sat down next to you on the couch. Your eyes had been glued to your phone screen, waiting for it to light up with your ex’s name. It hadn’t happened, but for some reason that made you even more nervous than if he had been blowing up your phone. Juice rested his hand on your thigh, giving you a reassuring squeeze.

“What do you need me to do?” his voice was soft.

You shrugged, shaking your head, “I have no idea,” a tear escaped down your cheek, “I have no idea what he’s going to do, what he’s capable of.”

“Do you want to stay at the clubhouse for a few days?” he offered up, “I know it’s not ideal but at least he wouldn’t think to find you there.”

You shook your head, grateful for the offer but you had no intention of bringing Luke into the depths of that chaos at such a young age if you could help it, “No, no, that’s alright. Thank you, though. There really isn’t any reason that he would be able to find us here.”

As much as Juice didn’t want to say something to freak you out more than you already were, he was very aware of the fact that Charming was a small town. You didn’t live where you did five years ago, sure, but it wouldn’t take all that much to find out where you had moved to. It wasn’t like there were a whole lot of options.

The racing thoughts in your head were exhausting. You curled up against Juice’s side and let him pull you in close. The amount of stress this had caused you in the span of just a few hours had you worried for what the next few days were going to be like. You trusted that Juice would look into him and find out some useful information, but there was a lot left unknown until then. You didn’t even want to send Luke to school, but what were you supposed to tell him when he asked why you were keeping him home?

You woke up the next morning when you felt Juice trying to carefully crawl out of bed. He always tried his hardest not to wake you and yet he was never successful. He looked back to you when he heard a small groan escape from your lips. He pressed a gentle kiss into your forehead.

“I’m gonna head to the clubhouse, and also get in touch with Unser. We’ll figure out everything we can and take it from there, okay?”

You nodded, exhausted but still grateful that he was mulling this over as much as you had been. You mumbled a soft, “I love you,” and then let him get ready for his day. You drifted back to sleep, the emotional exhaustion of the previous night still weighing heavily on you.

You woke up the next time to the alarm on your phone going off. You groaned and turned it off. Slowly sitting up in your bed you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. You glanced around the empty room, wishing that you still felt as safe as you had before you had gotten the call from your ex. You took a deep breath and made the decision to keep Luke out of school for the day, at least until Juice was able to get some more information on what Mike was even up to these days.

The house was silent as you made your way to Luke’s bedroom. You smiled at him from the doorway as you watched him sleep so peacefully. You walked in and sat down on the edge of his bed, gently running your fingers through his hair. He started to stir and he opened his eyes slowly.

“Good morning,” you smiled at him, “I’m thinking that you and I both take the day off today, how does that sound?”

“No school?” it snapped him completely awake.

You laughed, nodding, “No school. Just for today though, okay?”

He shot up and hugged you, “Yes!”

A smile spread across your face despite the anxiety that was pooling in the pit of your stomach. You knew that Lucas loved school, but just like with anything, it was always nice to have an unexpected day off to just do a whole lot of nothing. You weren’t planning on taking him anywhere, figuring that the less the two of you were out and about, the better. But just being able to stay home and watch movies and play in the back yard would be enough for him.

You made breakfast for the two of you, trying not to be obvious about the fact that you were constantly checking your phone. Between dreading when your ex was going to reach out, and waiting for Juice to reach out with some information or some good news, it was hard to look away. The last thing that you wanted, though, was to have your son start worrying too.

He was scrolling through movie titles, looking for something for the two of you to watch, when you heard a knock at the door. You checked your phone again, making sure that you didn’t miss anything. You slowly walked over to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it to see who was on the other side.

Your heart dropped into your stomach. He smiled at you, “Don’t look so happy to see me.”

“Mom, who is it?” there was the sound of quick footsteps and Luke appeared right beside you.

Mike smiled at him, “Hey, little man. I can’t believe how big you’ve gotten.”

You protectively pushed him behind you, “What do you want?”

He returned his gaze to you, “I told you, you can’t keep him from me. You’re my family.”

“That’s an overstatement if ever I heard one,” you fought to keep your composure, not wanting to falter in front of your son.

“Why don’t the three of us go for a ride, hm?” he pushed the door open all the way.

You were trying to stay as calm as possible as you rode shotgun in your ex’s car. You could feel how uncomfortable your son felt and you didn’t want to make it worse by causing a scene. What you didn’t know, though, was how to handle the situation. Mike had taken your cell phone so you had no way to try and reach out to Juice. Every couple of minutes you’d glance back at Luke and offer up a reassuring smile.

“Where are we going?” he asked, nervously twisting his hands in his lap.

Mike looked at him through the rearview mirror and smiled, “Just for a little road trip. We can find a fun hotel to stay in for the night. It’ll be fun, yea?”

Luke nodded but you could tell that all he wanted to do was go back home. The man driving the car was not a man that he knew, let alone considered family. He had no reason to feel that way.

Your phone started to vibrate on the seat between you. Before you could reach to grab it, Mike snatched it up and looked to see who was calling. Juice’s contact photo lit up the entire screen. He shot you an angry look before returning his eyes to the road.

“Who the hell is Juan?”

Fear shot through you, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to lie, “M-my husband.”

“Husband?!”

“Please don’t yell,” your voice shook slightly.

He tossed the phone at you, “Answer it so he doesn’t come looking. Be smart about it.”

You cleared your throat as you hit the green button, “Hey.”

“Hey, so I talked to Unser this morning and,” he paused when he heard you sniffle on the other end of the line, “Whoa, baby, is everything okay?”

“Yea, yea we’re good,” you were hardly able to keep your voice steady.

“Where are you?”

“Lucas and I just went for a drive. We’re fine, you don’t need to worry.”

His voice was hushed, “Your GPS on?”

You laughed to throw off the man sitting next to you in the car, “Of course. We’ll talk to you soon. I love you.”

“I love you, Y/N. I’ll come get you guys, don’t worry.”

Before you could say anything more, Mike grabbed the phone out of your hand and ended the call. He didn’t make any other comment about the fact that you had gotten married. You had to assume that he really hadn’t thought about that possibility. Judging from his erratic behavior, he clearly didn’t think through much of anything at all.

The three of you were camped out in a motel room. Mike was sitting on the bed with Luke, watching cartoons on the television. You were sat at the far end of the bed, just trying to keep it together while you waited for Juice to miraculously show up. Between his connections in the club, and the people from the police department that he knew, you had to keep the hope that he was going to show up and find the three of you. What you didn’t know, though, was how the situation was going to continue after that.

Minutes ticked by and turned into hours. You had been able to keep Luke calm and mostly happy, although you could tell that he was incredibly confused as to what was going on. You were surprised at how well Mike was keeping it together, but you knew that he was a time-bomb waiting to go off.

There was a knock at the door and Mike stood up, pressing his ear to the door, “Who is it?”

“Motel maintenance. There’s been a problem with the gas lines and I need to check every room.”

You knew that voice and you inwardly sighed with relief. Juice was smart enough to not come alone. He at least had Jax with him, and probably a few of the other guys from the club as well. You motioned for your son to come closer to you and you hugged him tight to your side.

Mike let out a sigh as he went to open the door, “Alright, make it qui—”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence as Jax kicked the door in hard, slamming it into his forehead and knocking the man backwards. You instantly stood up and scooped your son up into your arms, holding him tight to you and making sure he was facing away from whatever was about to unfold.

“Y/N,” you heard Juice’s voice as he came crashing into the room, tears were in his eyes as he wrapped the both of you in a hug, “Lucas, I’m so glad you guys are okay.”

You let out a shaky breath as you felt him press his lips to the side of your head, “Thank you so much.”

He stepped back and cupped your face in his hands, “Chibs is outside with the truck waiting for you two. We’re gonna handle this, I’ll meet you at home soon, okay?”

The last thing you wanted to do was be separated from him, but you knew that hanging around to see what happened next wasn’t going to be good for you or for your son. You kissed him, told him you loved him, and let Luke hug him before heading out of the motel room, trying as hard as you could to shield your son’s eyes from whatever was beginning to unfold.

You heard the front door open and you sat upright, your entire body tense until you saw that it was Juice who had just walked in. You let out a sigh of relief, settling back into the couch, not wanting to disturb your son who had passed out with his head in your lap.

“You’re home,” you said softly, with a tired smile.

He walked over and kissed Luke’s head before pressing his lips to yours, “You’re home.”

“What hap—”

He cut you off, placing his hand gently on your shoulder, “You’re safe,” he looked down at your son, his son, “You’re both safe.”

You didn’t need any more explanation than that. You settled against his touch and took the first deep breath you had taken all day. It was nice to know that you were always going to have someone that was going to do whatever it took to keep your family safe.

[mighty-ragnarssons]

Knocked Up | Modern Vikings AU | Chapter I

Relationships | Modern Ivar x OC Summary | Ivar always thought he'd be one of those people that never find the love of their lives. But then he found her - or, as the story goes, she bumped into him. He never saw it coming. Then he had to deal with it, and all the consequences that came along. Warnings | some smut, a little angst, harassement, teenage pregnancy

You can read in AO3 as well (click here). 

Chapter 1

There was no one in town that didn’t know about the Ragnarssons, the children of the famous Ragnar Lothbrok. They were fearless, they were reckless, and they were dangerous, just like their father. That’s what everybody said.

Bjorn was the eldest, the first-born of Ragnar’s first marriage with Lagertha. There had been a daughter too, Gyda, but she had passed away terribly young. After that, Ragnar had only sons born from his second marriage, this time with Aslaug. First came Ubbe, then Hvitserk and Sigurd. All of them perfectly healthy and strong boys that, much like Bjorn and to Ragnar’s amusement, took after their father in several ways. Unexpectedly and accidentally, however, there was a fifth child, the last son of Ragnar, Ivar. 

Ivar was very different from his brothers.

Born with a bone condition, he was crippled from the start. It was not just his legs that wouldn’t allow him to ever walk on his own, but a whole lot more pain coming from his frail bones that were never to be trusted. No wonder he grew up as a vulnerable, angry, and sad kid, despite being his mother’s favorite and most protected son. And now, as he was becoming a man, people called him mad and a drunk, a wild card with whom everyone rather stay away from. Ivar didn’t mind, he preferred to be tamed than to be pitied after a lifetime of being looked down on. In fact, he would do everything in his power to remain like this. It was the only way to prove himself and stay out of his brothers’ shadow and, most importantly, his father’s to who Ivar was the least favored son, something which hurt the boy more deeply than his constant physical pain.

“Hurry up, Ivar. Crawl faster, or else when we get to the club Ubbe and Hvitserk will have gotten all the best girls” Sigurd’s voice echoed loudly through the house. 

Ivar was there a second later clearly annoyed at his brother’s mocking tone. “Last time I checked, dear brother, you need me to drive you. So shut up. Let’s go.” 

Sigurd couldn’t argue back. He did need Ivar to drive them to the club. He kept failing at taking his driver’s license. It was humiliating to have to need his crippled brother to drive him, but Ubbe and Hvistserk, the bastards, hadn’t been home. Minutes afterward Ivar was behind the wheel of his accessible SUV and off they were.

Thirty minutes later they were skipping the line to get into the club. The Ragnarssons had their ways.  If there was one circuit in which their name was known by everyone, it was the nightlife one. No party would ever start without one of them being there. Ivar and Sigurd joined Ubbe and Hvisterk in the VIP area. As usual, Ivar took a corner where he knew he’d spend the next few hours drinking, smoking, and glaring at the dancing crowd. Perhaps if someone caught his eye he’d make a move, but usually, it was more like his brothers to do that.  

“There you go” Hvitzerk handed him a joint “Don’t look so serious, Ivar. The night is young. Enjoy!” By the looks of it, it was clear that he was already a bit high. But again it was Hvitserk and unusual would be to find him sober. “A lot of pretty ladies out there. Want me to pick one for you?” 

Ivar knew Hivtserk was only joking, but he still didn’t like it. His brother, ignoring Ivar’s cold glare and much to his annoyance, started pointing out to random girls who were dancing. “Oh, look at that one. C’mon Ivar, ain’t she a treat to stare at?”  

Thankfully, Hivtserk stopped his stupid game once their oldest brother Bjorn joined them, bringing shots to everyone with the help of his wife, Torvi.

“Brother, to what do we owe the honor?” Ivar said, throwing one of his ironic smirks. 

“I bring good news. Father is going to be released from jail sooner than expected. In three months to be exact! I had to pull some strings but it’s settled”

The news was received with different reactions. Sigurd didn’t seem that happy, while Ivar was the opposite. Ubbe was the first one to hold one of the shot glasses and started the toast “To Father! To Ragnar!”

Ragnar had been in prison for almost three years due to white-collar crimes, having been convicted of corporate fraud and money laundering. His sentence would’ve been of more than ten years, but Ragnar had his ways and was able to cut a deal for five years. And now, apparently, he would only serve almost four. Throughout this time it had been Bjorn taking over the leadership of the family’s successful business, Northmen Ventures, of which all of Ragnar’s sons had become the sole shareholders just before he was imprisoned. This explained why they were one of the richest families in their Norwegian city of Bergen. 

Bjorn,  now age 30, had been the natural successor of Ragnar. Not only because he was the oldest and perhaps the favorite son of Ragnar, but also because at the time he was the only one with a university degree, having just graduated from Law School. Yet, all of Ragnar’s sons were meant to get involved with the business. At least that was their father’s wish. Ubbe, now 24, had just graduated from Architecture School but had recently joined Bjorn on the company’s executive board.  Ivar wasn’t given the opportunity to help out, something which he grudged his older brothers - for dismissing him for his age, despite the fact that he’d watch and learned as much from his father as possible since an early age. Now 19 he was a freshman in college taking Business Administration. Then there were Hvitserk, 23, and Sigurd, 21,  the ones more adamant about following in their father’s footsteps. Hvitserk was using the money they were all getting to sustain his pricy bachelor lifestyle, and so was Sigurd who dedicated most of his time to art and music. Neither tried to pursue a higher education degree. 

“Don’t get too excited. Father will be back and then what? It’s not like he cares about us.” Sigurd, the mood killer, chugged his beer aggressively “He didn’t let us visit him in prison not even once. Not even Mother was allowed to. He didn’t even care for sending a postcard for Christmas!”

“He must have had his reasons.”

“And he left us the company”

“And so what? He just wanted to prevent it from ending up in the hands of the government.  Fuck him! You might all want to play the role of doting sons, but I’m not gonna tag along” After this Sigurd stormed off.

The remaining brothers looked at one another. A little bit of what Sigurd had just said resounsed with them, but at the same time they were excited to welcome back their father. Things would be very different with him around. 

“I say we celebrate.” Ivar said, not minding Sigurd. He couldn’t wait for his father to be back so that he could prove himself once and for all. He was no longer the defenseless crippled child he was when Ragnar went away. 

Despite the good mood he was in about Bjorn’s good news, Ivar wasn’t vibing with the club’s atmosphere that night. Hvitserk and Ubbe were making out with some random girls, Sigurd was nowhere to be seen and Torvi and Bjorn had left already. Instead, he was craving for some adrenaline and he knew just the way to get it. Texting his dealer, he left the club with the help of his crutches.

Nothing was to stop him except that on the way out someone bumped into him almost causing him to lose his fragile balance. Fury grew on Ivar who was about to yell at whoever made the mistake of infuriating him that night, but that’s when her face lost the blurriness of a few seconds ago and Ivar lost his balance again but for a completely different reason.

“Oh, no. I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to...shit” 

“Bitch, get back! For the hundredth time, you’re not getting in!” 

The girl’s expression quickly turned one of desperation. “I told you I have to. My cousin needs help! Don’t stop me, please” Her words were towards the bouncer that was now pulling her back, but her pleading eyes were on Ivar as if asking for help.  

“Hey, let her go!”  Ivar didn’t know why, but his rage got up to new levels when he saw the bouncer getting his filthy hands on her. “I said back off. Take your fucking hands off of her.”

At Ivar’s command the bouncer let her go. It didn’t matter that he was a big muscle guy, Ivar took a step towards him and faced him with a cold death stare. 

“She’s coming in with me, do you understand?”

“Ragnarsson, she is a minor. I can’t let her in.”

“I’m not asking.” 

His tone set it. He nodded so that the girl got in the club ahead of him. She didn’t even say a word, going immediately in. Ivar had to hurry himself inside to catch up. 

“Fuck, there’s so many people” she noticed looking absolutely lost.

“Let me help you.” he offered. 

“The bathrooms. My cousin... she called me, she didn’t sound fine… I’m worried something’s happened... She said she couldn’t move” she was trembling as she spoke. Ivar reached her hand with his. 

“If she is here we are going to find her.” he assured her “Follow me” 

It was not typical of Ivar to help a lady in distress but as he was guiding this girl through the crowd of drunk dancing people he couldn’t understand the need he was abruptly feeling for shielding her and, worst of all, to comfort her. These feelings left him uneased, but he was not going to dwell into that right now. If his suspicions were right and her cousin was somewhere in the club, then she was probably drugged to the point of unconsciousness and in a position to be taken advantage of. 

They swiped all the bathrooms at the club until at last they burst into one where a girl was noticeably knocked down in a corner.

“Cathrine!” the girl immediately crouched down on her cousin. “Cathrine, can you hear me?” 

“All of you, get out” Ivar demanded the girls who were inside. Some tried to complain, after all he was the guy in a female bathroom. These same girls that had paid no attention, or they just didn’t care, to the other girl on the floor. He then went outside as fast as he could and got a water bottle.

“She’s awake, but barely. Says she 's dizzy. She’s not talking right” 

“She was likely drugged” It wouldn’t be a first in that club “Make her sip some water” he threw the water bottle at them. He really wanted to level down to them, but with his crutches and all it just wouldn’t go well. “I’m gonna find help.”

 He ‘raced’ to the VIP area. Only Hivtserk was there with a girl on top of him. What was wrong with his brothers for acting as if their corner was a place of public foreplay display?

“Hvitserk, I need your help!”

“Go away Ivar” he grumbled and continued to suggestively run his hands on the brunette over his lap.

Ivar had to take the matter into his hands. The first thing he found was a leftover cocktail on the table which he threw at the girl. Her immediate squeak was so high and audible despite the deafening music. She practically jumped from on top of his brother.

“You crazy motherfucker!”

“What the fuck Ivar?”

“I don’t have time to explain. Come with me. I need your help.” 

Usually he didn't have much faith in his brothers - after all they were a pain in his ass most of the time - but this time he was really hoping to call on Hvitserk’s good senses. Fortunately his prayers were answered and his older brother followed him back to the bathroom

“What’s going on?”

“There’s a passed out girl. We need to get her out of here.”

“Would you go so far as in to get laid, little brother? Oh, you sicko” 

“This is not the time for jokes, asshole. You’re the sicko for even suggesting that”

Ivar was almost regretting getting Hvitserk to help, but the truth was that he alone wouldn’t be able to carry the girl out from the bathroom. The moment they got in there Hvitserk got a bit more serious and kneeled next to the two girls. 

“Let’s get her out of here” 

Together with Hvitserk, the girl helped raise her semi-unconscious cousin. People inside the club were so fucked up that they didn’t drop one second to look at them leaving. 

“Take her to my car” Ivar indicated and so they did. He unlocked his metallic grey SUV from afar and went on to open the backdoors where they laid the girl. “Let her get some fresh hair. It will do her good.”

“Should we take her to the hospital?” Hvitserk suggested.

A loud “No!” came from the inside of the car.

“She can’t. It will be too complicated” said the other girl but not without hinting her dissatisfaction.

Ivar finally took a moment to fully look at her. Dressed  in just a pair of jeans and a warm sweatshirt, she was lean and tall, but at least a good ten centimeters shorter than himself. Her blonde hair was tied in a messy bun with some strands falling down on her face. He had to hold the instinct to gently brush those aside. And her eyes… They were a very greyish blue color like he had never seen before. They were mirroring worry and nervousness. 

“I’m calling a cab. Thank you for your help. I don’t know what I would’ve done if it weren’t for you” she said facing Ivar and Ivar only. 

“I can drive you.” he offered without thinking.

“We already bothered you enough -”

Ivar cut her off “Nonsense. I’m going to drive you” he declares in a way that offered no other option.

Relief poured from her gaze “Thank you”

It was quite the drive, further out of Bergen’s city center. By the time they got there the passed out girl - Cathrine - had regained consciousness, albeit feeling nauseous and dizzy. Hvitserk carried her alone in his arms to the inside of the house and further into her bed. It was time enough for her to fall asleep like a rock.

“She seems just to need some rest. Keep her hydrated when she wakes up.”

“If she was drugged then it should wear off her system soon”

“Noted. I don’t know how to thank you both” 

“You could go on a date with one of us, how does that sound?”

“Hvitserk!” Ivar admonished in reaction to the girl’s shocked expression “Please, ignore my brother. He, too, has drugs that need to wear off his system”

“You’re no fun, Ivar” Hvitserk couldn’t argue back on the drugs part. “A pleasure to help, milady. Until next time” He did a silly bow and left the apartment back to the car. 

“Is he always like that?” 

 “Most of the time, yeah.” Ivar shrugged his shoulders “Hand me your phone” Because she did without complaining, he got it and put his number in there “I’m Ivar Lothbrook. Whenever you need help.”

What he really wanted to say was ‘text me’. He didn’t have the nerve for that, tho.

For the first time that night she finally showed a glimpse of a smile “Honestly, thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done without your help, Ivar Lothbrok” 

Her hand was touching his and for a moment everything seemed to stop. The way his name sounded on her lips… A shiver went down his spine. He wanted to hear it again, but most importantly he wanted to know her name.

But in that exact moment a horn yelled. Goddamned Hvitserk. He was going to wake up the whole street, which was the opposite of what the girls had asked. “I better go drive him home now or else he’ll wake up the whole neighborhood” 

Yet Ivar was finding it difficult to leave. To leave her. Another honk made him take the necessary steps.

“I mean it when I say for you to use my number whenever. Stay safe”

He finally closed the door behind him and walked back to the car, but not before looking over his shoulder. There she was, by the window, waving goodbye with a shy smile on her face.

He needed to see her again.

The next morning Ivar woke up rather hopeful of seeing a text message. Seeing there was none, his day didn’t kick off exactly on the right terms. Throughout the day he checked his phone more times than he cared to admit and each time he grew impatient and irritated. What was it about that girl to make him like this? It’s not like he usually gave a crap about whoever he met.

“What’s wrong with you? You’ve got a right cob-on” his older brother Ubbe asked later that day when they were all chilling by the firepit  in the backyard of the Lothbrook’s home.

Although in Norway it was uncommon for people their age to still be living at home, in their case that’s how things were and worked out great most days. Usually it was just the four brothers and the house was  big enough for them not to be in each other’s ways.. Their mother, Aslaug Lothbrok, ran one the country’s finest art galleries. After her husband’s arrest she had moved her gallery to the capital city, Oslo, instead of their home city. Lately she spent most of her time there rather than at home. 

“It’s nothing. Leave me alone” 

“He’s hung up” teased Hvitserk “Still thinking about the pretty blondie from last night, brother?”

Right that moment Ivar wished he could smack the mocking smiles out of his brother’s faces. 

“Well, well, well Ivar. Didn’t know you had company last night.”

“He didn’t.  Not exactly. None of us did” Hvitserk proceed to put Ubbe on the loop in regards to their little episode last night. “Instead of asking her for her number, our little brother gave her his. Wrong move, dude.” Ivar immediately regretted telling this to Hvitserk. “Don’t be so bummed out, Ivar. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Speaking of…”

A blonde Ivar doesn’t care much about exits their home in Sigurd’s company, both appearing content which can only mean one thing. Margrethe is a constant guest at the Lothbrok’s and probably the only female with the fame of being acquainted with all of the brothers’ rooms. Although a favorite among the Ragnarssons, to Ivar she’s nothing but an unpleasant company he is forced to tolerate after they fall out months ago. 

“If that’s the fish you’re hinting at, I’d rather go vegan” Ivar mumbled under his breath.

I hope you liked it! It’s my first Vikings fic :) Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my native language. At least five more chapters will be on the way.

[zuko-always-lies]

Why Azula Staying a Villain Will Only Lead To Bad Stories Part 2: Negative Effects on Other Characters, World Building, Lore, and Thematic Expression[Submitted by justanotherthrowaway1950]

Part 1 Link: https://zuko-always-lies.tumblr.com/post/662081384160067584/why-azula-staying-a-villain-will-only-lead-to-bad#notes

I know already in part 1 how I briefly mentioned how keeping Azula a villain causes everyone to start acting stupid and incompetent (and thus denigrating them and their arcs/character growth) whenever Azula is involved so Azula can remain a credible threat despite The Gaang all being masters in their respective fields and having the resources of several nation-states at their beck and call plus a PMC (The White Lotus).

But I understand that I didn’t go into details and so my analysis was lackluster at best and very controversial at worse. So I am going to go into detail based on importance and with that said here I go.

Zuko (The Search)

Realistically, other than some minor complaints most people agree that TV!Zuko’s arc is one of the greatest in Western Animation. For the tale of someone who had at times almost given into his abuse and conditioning but, with the help of loving Uncle, his travels, and mercy/compassion showed to him by his enemies/future friends, he had managed to overcome it and start the journey of not only becoming a better person, but also help his country heal after several decades of propaganda and brainwashing.

And part of said arc is what he comes to realize about Azula: that she is not worth emulating; that she is abusive to him and the people he cares about like Mai and Ty Lee; and that she (a genocidal authoritarian colonizer) needs to be stopped and locked up by any means, even if it hurts him. For it is the only way that the world and his country can achieve peace and balance once again…that is until Azula starts showing signs that either she has realized the error of her ways or that she wants to take a new path, but needs help finding it.

But, in an effort to allow Azula to become a villain again, Bryke has Zuko engage in several actions that not only betray his character growth, but worse, aren’t really explained and negatively reflect on him.

Like, during that conference concerning Yu Dao where Zuko “realizes” that the sorry state of his nuclear family negatively reflects on him, why would Zuko care suddenly about what his subjects think of him? 

Did Zuko forget that basically he not only betrayed his nation and caused them to lose a war they had already won, but is also forcing them to pay reparations (as is said in North & South)? 

And that he is going to remain a pariah in his subject’s eyes until he manages to undo the decades of brainwashing considering his only real allies are foreigners, Iroh (who is just as much of a traitor in the FN’s eyes as Zuko), and Mai (who committed treason that led to the FN’s lost) & Ty Lee (who did commit a less extreme version of treason but immediately post-war left to join a foregin military/PMC, which would look suspect in the populance’s eyes)?

But things really start to go sideways when he goes to Azula’s asylum to get Azula to extract intel from Ozai about Ursa, allows the two to talk alone, and foolishly wheels Azula alone while promising to move her back into the palace.

Like when he went to the asylum, how come he didn’t ask them about Azula’s treatment and whether it was safe to take her out to see Ozai (her abuser and co-conspirator), let alone take her back to the palace? Maybe he would have found out she was being abused in the asylum and he could have done something about it so Azula and her fellow inmates could be treated better.

But maybe not considering it is Azula and she deserves to be abused for making Zuko’s life hard from the moment she was born.

Like why would he allow Azula and Ozai to talk alone considering their conniving natures and the fact that they are the two biggest threats to his regime (at least politically)?

Why would he wheel Azula alone, especially after Ty Lee told him that the chi-blocking is wearing off? For I know this depends on how much Ty Lee knows about chi-blocking and its effects (I’ll talk about this more in Ty Lee’s section), but Azula has already shown that she is still hostile/violent towards Zuko. That in combination with her previous showings of being able to escape nearly any situation she finds herself in should have made Zuko wary of being alone with Azula when the chi-blocking wears off instead of trying to have a soft brother-sister moment.

And then that whole sequence where Azula breaks free, and manages to burn every single letter in Ozai’s chest, save for the “Zuko is Ikem’s bastard” letter before blackmailing him into going on the search free, unbound, and with dignity. *Sigh*

Like why would Zuko shoot a fireball of the perfect size and speed that would allow Azula to break free of the chains on her legs instead of, I don’t know, calling the rest of his elite guard to subdue Azula? Especially after she has managed to bullshit instant lighting out of nowhere and thus has tricks that Zuko does not know about?

After Zuko had caught up to her and found out that she had supposedly burned every single letter and tried blackmailing him into going on the search for Ursa free and unbound, how come Zuko didn’t pat her down? For even if he had no way of knowing that she had that “bastard” letter, wouldn’t it be wise to check if she hid any letter on her body? 

I mean this is one of the most trickiest characters in the franchise so why not be extra cautious?

And the whole blackmail situation? Look I understand why Zuko agreed to Azula’s terms for who doesn’t want to find out what happened to their beloved mother? But doesn’t Zuko have a responsibility and duty to the world and his subjects to make sure that Azula remains in jail until she at least tries to reform herself? 

I know this sounds callous, but the moment Azula tried blackmailing him, he should have told her that finding Ursa was not worth letting Azula free and should have jailed her again. For why run the risk that Azula could do something horrible or escape? I mean what could go wrong if she escaped…?

Also, even if she had to be free, unbound, and travel with dignity, why didn’t Zuko have a small platoon with him? For even if he did have The Avatar and the world’s greatest waterbender by his side, shouldn’t Zuko have taken precautions in the event that Aang and Katara got separated from them, leaving just him (I know Zuko is stronger than Crazy!Azula but not to the point that she couldn’t cheapshot him) and Sokka (I know he is a badass, but as of current canon he is still weaker than Crazy!Azula) with her?

But most galling is the fact that he made this decision unilaterally without asking Mai and Ty Lee for their opinion, or, if he was adamant about agreeing to Azula’s terms, not providing them with 24/7 security until Azula was safely back in the asylum and/or prison.

For Azula was not just Zuko’s abuser, she was Mai and Ty Lee’s abusive friend and commander before almost killing Mai (The Boiling Rock Part 2 script said Azula was going to generate lightning) and then throwing the two into jail for life.

Considering that Mai saved Zuko’s life, that Ty Lee saved Mai (who is the love of Zuko’s life) and is part of Zuko’s current protection team, and that the both of them are closest thing to childhood friends that Zuko has, why didn’t Zuko treat them with the respect they deserved? Especially since post-redemption Zuko is someone who is supposed to be empathetic and caring?

But moving on to the rest of The Search, how come after Zuko found out about the “bastard” letter, how come he didn’t burn it? For even if he did want to find out the truth, isn’t it more important that he prevents a civil war by not allowing his “illegitimacy” to become public knowledge. At least until he can give power to Iroh in the case that he was truly a bastard?

Or, even if he didn’t want to burn the letter until Ursa confirmed the accuracy of it, why would he allow Azula to keep it on her person? I mean, what would have happened if she had managed to escape with it on her person? 

Sunshine and roses or a bloody civil war that threatens to undo everything Zuko and his friends fought for in the war?

Which ties into my last point about Zuko’s behavior in The Search (and to segue way into Smoke and Shadow) why the hell did Zuko not chase after Azula?!

For even if he would be risking his life and potentially Noriko’s, couldn’t Zuko have seen the danger in letting Azula free? Especially considering as far as he knew she still had the letter on her person?

Or, once Ursa had her face and memories restored, how come he didn’t leave Katara with Ursa and her family, and search for Azula with Aang and Sokka?

Did Zuko forget that it was all his fault in the first place that his life, as well as Noriko’s, was in danger and that he had a responsibility to the world, his country, and his friends to make sure Azula got back into his custody?

But anyway, even if Azula was still free, at least Azula is no longer a threat to Zuko, his regime, and/or anyone he cares about? 

Right?

Zuko (Smoke & Shadow)

After searching for Azula for a couple of weeks, he goes home and tells Ursa that he “tried.”

But did he really? Cause if we take his word at face value do you know what that means?

(Note: I think his statement could be interpreted to mean that Aang, Katara, Sokka, and him spent weeks searching the old fashioned way. But if that was the case he really didn’t try considering all the options he had. So I am taking Zuko’s statement at face value.)

That means a mentally broken Azula with no allies or no resources, managed to avoid an Avatar State powered seismic sense, June’s shirshu, Toph’s seismic sense, as well as anyone Iroh and/or the White Lotus sent over to help Zuko find his sister.

Do you know what that implies about the competency of everyone involved? How bad that makes them all look?

Anyway moving on, it appears that not only did Zuko fail to issue a public proclamation that Azula had escaped but also failed to give Ty Lee and Mai (and their families) protection. 

For if he had issued a proclamation maybe Azula would have been found earlier instead of being able to break six girls out of her asylum or manipulate the New Ozai Society (NOS)/Safe Nation Society. And in regards to Ty Lee and Mai, even if he felt they didn’t need protection while Azula was free but by his side, the moment she managed to escape him, he should have given them and their families protection.

For Zuko didn’t know that Azula wasn’t seeking revenge; as far as he knew she probably was going to kill everyone between her and the throne, including everyone who betrayed her. And even if Zuko hadn’t seen Mai since their break up, Ty Lee is part of his detail and thus Zuko should have realized how paranoid and scared she was and asked her what he could have done to alleviate her fears as well as her best friend Mai’s as well.

And Zuko still makes similar grave errors even after he finds out that Azula is behind the kidnappings and after he had found out that she had been manipulating the NOS/Safe Nation Society as part of a long-term plan to turn Zuko into a tyrant.

For after Kiyi’s kidnapping, instead of issuing curfews, searching Caldera City citizen’s homes without cause, and engaging in mass jailing of anyone who was on the streets when the Safe Nation Society was rioting he should have called all of the Gaang and had Iroh call the White Lotus before starting an all out manhunt for Azula and her followers.

And he especially should have done this after she told him his plan and he found that Aang had gotten knocked out by Azula’s henchwomen.

For not only has Azula basically gotten rid of his trump card over her (lighting redirection), she has become the GOAT lighting manipulator and H2H fighter in ATLA. That, combined with her and her Fire Warrior’s smoke bending abilities, makes them the biggest threat to Zuko’s throne and world peace. 

Thus, Zuko should have spent every waking moment hunting down Azula instead of doing stupid shit like going on a diplomatic trip to the South Pole. 

For I admit the image of the leaders and the most important people in the four nations eating with each other is a powerful one, but it is still hollow as long as the biggest threat to the post-world order is still roaming free and plotting to bring it to an end.

Aang (The Search)

Right off the bat when Zuko told him about the whole blackmail situation he should have either said ok but call in Toph as well as anyone else who he thought was needed or told Zuko that finding his mother was not worth it since the was a chance, no matter how small, that Azula could escape and put Azula back in the asylum himself.

For yeah, I know the first point sounds OOC but Aang out of all people should know how dangerous Azula is (the lighting wounds on his left foot and back say hi) and thus take the proper precautions. 

And yes, I know the second point sounds really OOC but doesn’t Aang know that his duty isn’t to his friends but to the world? And thus even if it hurts, he has to prioritize the world’s safety over his friend’s well-being and thus not allow arguably the most dangerous (both politically and bending wise) non-Avatar person in the world any chance of escaping?

Especially when it appears the only thing Azula regrets is losing and not any of the actions she took during the war?

But alas, this blatant disregard towards his duty as an Avatar continues not only when he finds that “bastard” letter with Zuko, but also when he fails to give chase to Azula after helping Ursa restore her face and memories.

For even after Zuko refused to burn the letter because he wanted to find out the truth, Aang should have taken the letter and burned it, or at least not let the letter get back into Azula’s hands.

For if that letter ever became public, it would ruin everything that Aang fought for in the war, for either Iroh (an old man who has no inclination to produce heirs as far as canon is concerned) would have to take the throne to prevent Ozai and/or Azula for taking it or it would cause a massive civil war considering Zuko is already on thin ice with his subjects.

And once he had helped Ursa restore her face, he should have entered the Avatar State and used his seismic sense before entering his elemental shield to look for Azula. 

For even if Azula is mentally broken at that point, she is still a Top 4 fire-bender, at worst, in the world with a strong claim to the throne and thus should be his highest priority. Not staying by Zuko’s side, especially now that he has been reunited with his mother and can adequately protect Ursa and her family now.

Aang (Smoke and Shadow)

Assuming that we take Zuko’s comments at face value about how he tried, what does that say about Aang that Azula not only managed to escape his Avatar powered seismic sense, but also that even with his elemental shield providing unmatched mobility, he still couldn’t find Azula?

But moving onto something that requires no assumptions: what he did, or didn’t, do after finding out that Azula was behind the Kemurikage kidnappings due to working with the New Ozai Society.

Why didn’t Aang call in the rest of The Gaang and/or White Lotus to help apprehend Azula? For the worst case scenario has happened and Azula is actively working to restore the old regime (as far as Aang knows at this point), has become the strongest firebender and H2H fighter in the world, and has regained her sanity (as far as he knows).

Considering all the harm Azula has caused, and is currently causing, how come Aang didn’t take every measure to make sure that Azula would get back into their custody as well as make sure the kidnapped kids were in no danger whatsoever?

How come when he went into that room to help rescue the kids, how come he didn’t have his guard up or enter the room with his elemental shield up?

For Aang knows that The Fire Warriors have smoke-bending abilities, it was smoke (combined with volcanic gases) that had killed his predecessor, and that the Fire Warriors are seditious, mass child kidnappers in league with Azula. 

So why didn’t Aang take them seriously?

For if Aang wasn’t protected by the fact that he has to die as a 66 year old man (LoK), after the Fire Warriors had knocked him out, they would have killed him instead of monologuing just long enough for Mai and Kei Lo to save him by knocking out the Warriors.

And then what? A world without a fully realized Avatar that is liable to fall back into war long before his successor could be identified and become a fully realized Avatar. Especially if Azula had killed Zuko in after their tomb shuffle, leaving no one really able to fight back against The Fire Warriors as they consolidate power and restart the 100 year war as far as Aang knows.

But most galling in my opinion is how Aang doesn’t drop everything and lead an all out manhunt for Azula and The Fire Warriors, especially once he found out that their true goal is to break Zuko and make him into a tyrant. For Aang out of all people should know what Azula is capable of when she is “sane.”

So why does he fuck off?! 

What is he going to say when The Fire Warriors do something irredeemable and/or unfixable and so Zuko and him and have to explain to the world community why Azula got free in the first place, why they lied about her involvement with The Kemurikage kidnappings, and why she has managed to avoid capture despite no longer having a nation-state backing her (and her lack of resources in general considering she is a homeless, penniless fugitive), and the fact that she is no match for the Avatar State (or even a bloodlusted 4 element Aang)?

Mai

A lot of people hate on Mai, calling her a bad, high-maintenance girlfriend who doesn’t understand Zuko and an undeveloped character among other things.

But I think TV!show Mai was a loving girlfriend who was trying her best with a boyfriend dealing with trauma on top of his precarious position in court before ultimately betraying her and her country without any warning from her POV.

Moreover, for a tertiary character, I think her arc is short, sweet, and powerful: she was a girl who was heavily implied to be forced into an abusive friendship for the sake of her father’s political career in addition to having to suppress her true emotions.

But, thanks to her boyfriend having the courage to stand up against their abusers, she learns to stand up against her abuser, while also helping her real best friend find the courage to also stand up against their mutual abuser, and is on the path to healing and learning how to establish healthy relationships.

In other words, Mai learns that she doesn’t have to put her head down and ignore her emotions/capacity for love. And it is this realization that allows her to help create the promise for a better day for herself, her boyfriend, her best friend, and the rest of the world, including her own nation once they come to the same realizations as she has.

But instead of continuing on that path, the comics have her completely forget the realization she had and have her behave OOC, in my opinion, in several contexts.

For even if she, like Ty Lee, where completely done dirty by Zuko in that he let Azula free without asking them how they felt about it before losing her and having the gall to not assign protection to them and their families until he recovers Azula, it doesn’t excuse the fact she hid from Zuko/the proper authorities the existence of the New Ozai Society and that her father and “boyfriend” where members of it, with her father leading and funding it as well.

For it is quite obvious what are the out-of-universe explanations for why Mai didn’t go straight to the palace after The Rebound (so Azula, who no longer has a nation-state backing her, would have the means and funds to manipulate terrorist groups as well as house her kidnapped kids as part of a longer plot to make Zuko snap) and tell Zuko but there is no good-in universe answer that is inline with her previously established character.

For when did Mai suddenly care about her father to the point that she was willing to commit treason by supporting, or at least covering up, his seditious plot? 

For didn’t Mai, as part of betrayal at the Boiling Rock, essentially betray her father and the rest of her family in favor of Zuko?

Moreover, why would she prioritize her father and his potential political power considering what would happen if Ozai ever got back into power? For I know Avatar is a children’s franchise but I am pretty sure one of Ozai’s first acts once he got back on the throne after he had Zuko, Ursa, Iroh, Noren, and Kiyi killed, would be killing her and Ty Lee for their treason. 

Especially considering that if hadn’t turned when she did, half the Gaang would have died and Ozai would have very likely won the war. For without Aang learning lighting redirection, unless rock-kun (rock-kun is the younger cousin of Naruto’s swing-kun) intervenes much earlier, Aang dies to Ozai’s lighting spam and no one else on the remaining Team Avatar is a match for Comet!Ozai except in the very unlikely chance Katara manages to develop 24/7 blood-bending in the aftermath of her brother’s death.

But alas, Mai decides to act in an OOC manner and hides from Zuko the existence of The New Ozai Society/Safe Nation Society until her Zuko’s half-sister, along with her brother, have been kidnapped by The Fire Warriors after Zuko, Ursa, Noren, and Kiyi barely survived a New Ozai Society ambush.

And by barely, I mean if it wasn’t for the combination of Ukano’s monologue, Kei Lo’s last minute heel-face turn, and Zuko managing to bullshit the greatest non-Avatar fire redirection feat in the franchise, Zuko and his family would have been burned to death and/or brutally stabbed to death.

But even more galling, when confronted with her treason, Mai claims that Zuko out of all people should know how hard it is to betray your father as if there wasn’t a difference between betraying the all powerful ruler of your country who has a cult of personality, has burned you before, can quickly fire off lethal amounts of lighting on command, and has said before he wanted to kill you versus betraying your mentally and physically weak father who rejected being integrated into the new government and seeks to put someone back in power who would likely kill you for committing treason against him.

Especially that Zuko accepts her explanation and no one in-universe or the narrative never challenges Mai on why she committed treason again.

For I understand that Mai is a tertiary character, and thus can’t have the same narrative focus in regards to her redemption arc like Zuko. But if the narrative is going to treat Mai as a hundred percent redeemed good guy, she should be held to the same standards and be criticized when she acts in a villainous manner.

But yet again, the comics fail to challenge Zuko for almost restarting the Hundred Year War instead of calmly showing Aang and Kuei why he revoked his unconditional support for the Harmony Restoration Movement so why should we expect any “hero” to face any criticism?

Ukano

How come Ukano was willing to work with Azula to restore Ozai for the sake of his nation and family when not only is Fire Lord Zuko indebted to him for life due to Mai saving him at The Boiling Rock (not to mention Zuko offering him a job when his governorship disappeared after Bumi retook Omashu), but also when one of the first things Ozai would do after taking back power is killing Mai for her treason (imo, it is clear that after Zuko’s defection, the only punishment for treason was death, with no chance for life in prison like Iroh had)?

What is Ukano’s plan for dealing with a fully realized Avatar considering that Ozai with Sozin’s Comet got utterly stomped by Aang? I don’t think it is wise, or in line with someone leading a vast seditious conspiracy, to rely on Azula getting another cheap shot on Aang or The Fire Warriors able to get one over Aang using their smoke-bending.

Also, as a matter of storytelling, why should I root for his heel-face turn and acceptance of his prison sentence when one of the last things he does before being sent to prison is subtly imply that he was manipulated/coerced by Azula.

For in-universe, didn’t Ukano have several opportunities to tell Aang and Zuko about the kidnapped kids? And out of universe, even if Azula is extremely dangerous, it is kind of pathetic to hear a grown-ass man essentially be bullied by a bunch of mentally ill teenagers.

I mean how would you react if someone in a similar situation tried pulling Ukano’s excuse? 

Sympathy or mockery?

But in any case, how am I supposed to feel that even if Ukano has to go to jail, he at least did good by standing up to Azula and her followers if Ukano tries to deflect blame by blaming Azula?

I mean, would Zuko’s apology to The Gaang during The Western Air Temple felt as sincere if he blamed Azula’s manipulations and the promise of his father’s love for why he acted the way he did during The Crossroads of Destiny even if it were valid explanations for his behavior? 

Would the audience have so readily accepted Zuko into The Gaang if Zuko didn’t take sole responsibility for his actions?

Ozai & Ursa (The Letter)

Note: Ursa is a kidnapping victim who is highly implied to never had consensual sex with Ozai and thus her kids were highly likely to be conceived without her consent. The combined trauma combined with the fact that Ozai had all the power in the household in addition to his emotional and (heavily implied by artwork) physical abuse explains almost all of her bad parenting decisions and behavior towards Azula and Zuko…except for what I am going to describe below imo. So the point of this is just to make it clear that I don’t blame Ursa for what went wrong in Zuko’s or Azula’s life, for the responsibility solely lies on Azulon and Ozai’s shoulders, I am just criticizing one particular choice she made in-universe and the creators’ out of universe decision to make her act in that fashion.

Most people talk about the letter in relation to Zuko and how it affects him but I have a very hot take: the letter only really exists to allow Azula to be a credible antagonist during The Search considering her still mentally broken state and the fact that Zuko, Katara, and/or Aang where keeping eyes on her at all times. 

That and to also facilitate a means for Azula to get free of her restraints and eventually escape Zuko’s custody because without blackmailing Zuko, Azula would have never been free, unbound, and treated with dignity.

Also, the letter serves to unnecessarily woobify Zuko but that is not the focus of this post.

So with that in mind, let’s delve into what that letter implies Ursa’s and Ozai’s characters.

In regards to Ursa, I find it hard to believe that someone who basically begged for her son’s life and constantly shielded him to the best of her abilities would reckless endanger Zuko’s life by writing a letter that claimed Ikem, not Ozai, was Zuko’s father.

For Ursa, out of all people, should know that she, along with Zuko, only have value to the Royal Family if Zuko is Ozai’s kid. And that if Ozai was so inclined, he could have used the letter to kil Zuko and/or herself.

And even if it is a hundred percent Ozai’s fault that he used the letter as an excuse to essentially treat Zuko as a bastard (though personally I think Ozai just continued treated Zuko the way he previously did and just said that to further emotionally abuse Ursa), why would Ursa ever give Ozai the means to (further) torment her beloved son? Especially when she knows Ozai, and most likely Azulon considering how quick he was to order Zuko’s death to punish Ozai, has it out for Zuko?

In regards to Ozai, the letter, and what he did and didn’t do with it, makes him even more incomptenent than what previous canon suggested.

For even if he couldn’t have used the letter during Azulon’s reign to get rid of Zuko and/or Ursa (ex. Due to fear of retaliation from Azulon due to being a “cuck”), how come he didn’t use the letter to disinherit Zuko, instead of burning Zuko and having to cover it up?

Or, after Zuko went full traitor, how come Ozai didn’t use the letter to ensure that Zuko could never inherit the throne…at least through his claim as Ozai’s son (Iroh could have adopted Zuko and then abdicated in favor of Zuko)?

Iroh

I understand that Iroh is technically retired and doesn’t have to do anything. Moreover, I understand that the adults in child/teenage led action-adventure series can’t really be as proactive and/or responsible as IRL adults due to the constraints of the genre.

But Iroh is still involved in politics as seen by his willingness to serve as Zuko’s temporary Fire Lord when Zuko is gone. Moreover, Legacy of The Fire Nation does say that Iroh is still a White Lotus Grandmaster during the period the White Lotus becomes the Avatar world’s version of the UN Peacekeepers.

So with that in mind, we can criticize his lack of proactiveness in regards to Azula. For even taking away the assumption that Iroh offered the White Lotus’ help to find Azula after she ran into The Forgetful Forest, how come after Azula has been found to be masterminding the Kemurikage kidnappings, or after Azula revealed her plan to turn Zuko into a dictator, Iroh didn’t drop everything, call up the White Lotus, and lead a manhunt for The Fire Warriors?

For not only is Azula the biggest threat to world peace and balance in their world, she is the biggest threat to Zuko throne and safety. Especially after she has removed Iroh and Zuko’s one trump card over her (lighting redirection) and is arguably way stronger (at least as a combatant) than Ozai ever was.

For someone who lost his son and watched his beloved nephew be abused due to the effects of the Fire Nation’s imperialism and authoritarianism, why doesn’t Iroh make sure that the horrors of the past just stay in the past? Especially when he has the power, means, and connections this time around to make sure no one ever gets hurt again, not now and not in the future?

Ty Lee

In regards to The Search, Ty Lee was mistreated by Zuko when he first took Azula out without asking Mai or her about their feelings and then when he had the gall to lose her without granting her and Mai (and their families) 24/7 protection.

Though if Ty Lee is as much of a chi-blocking master as the narrative implies, when she warned Zuko that Azula’s chi-blocking was wearing off, she should have also warned him that there would be a period of time that Azula would be super flexible and have full control of her muscles and chi.

For even if Ty Lee had no idea that Azula had apparently learned instant lighting in the two years she had spent in the asylum, Azula is still capable of short bursts of fire that could have disoriented Zuko, leading to a similar outcome as to what actually happened in canon once Azula had the above period of time.

But moving on to something much more concrete, Ty Lee remembering the Fire Nation Palace’s secret tunnels and being able to pinpoint locate the one leading to Azula’s secret lair has some very negative implications about Ty Lee.

For even if she says it in a really roundabout way, The Sisters comics has Ty Lee say that she joined The Kyoshi Warriors at least in part to make up for the imperialism she helped perpetuate under Azula’s command.

Moreover, The Kyoshi Warriors agreed to be Zuko’s bodyguards in order to help protect the fragile peace that The Gaang helped establish at the end of the war. And in order to do so that means they have to be able to secure the Fire Nation Palace to the best of their abilities.

However, despite knowing about these secret tunnels, Ty Lee apparently never mentioned them in the year that the Kyoshi Warriors had been in The Fire Nation (The Promise takes place one year after Sozin’s Comet Part 4; The Kyoshi Warriors become Zuko’s bodyguards during The Promise; The Search takes place one year after The Search with the main plot of Smoke and Shadow taking place a couple of months after the climax of The Search).

And this lead to not only The Fire Warriors being able to walk into the palace and almost kidnap Kiyi unmolested (in fact, if it wasn’t for their smoke, The Fire Warriors would have kidnapped Kiyi without anyone being wiser), but for an entire conspiracy to operate right under their noses.

Not to mention what could have happened if The Fire Warriors where a little bit less mentally ill and used the fact that they had access to secret tunnels that no one knew about to do the obvious: carry out covert assassinations of all their enemies, which, depending on the time, could include important foreign figures like Aang, Katara, and Sokka.

Making things worse is that just like Mai really wasn’t challenged narratively or by anyone in-universe for her treason, Ty Lee is never challenged by the narrative or by her fellow warriors, Zuko, and/or Aang for knowing such a gaping security hole and not telling anyone earlier.

I mean the lack of knowledge of the secret tunnels could help, partially at least, explain why Zuko faced so many assination attempts, like Kori’s, that got frighteningly close to killing him. 

For instead of his original guard being disloyal and/or incomptenent, they could have had a lack of knowledge about the tunnels and thus didn’t know how to protectly seal them off and/or monitor them for threats.

Like I understand Azula being freed probably impacted her ability to think rationally (Ty Lee all but says she hasn’t had a peaceful night of sleep ever since Azula got out) but it doesn’t excuse the fact that she forgot to tell anyone about this security gap beforehand.

For doesn’t Ty Lee have a professional and moral duty to protect the Fire Nation palace and The Royal Family to the best of her abilities?

Kei Lo

I don’t hold him to the same standards as the heroes and outright adults in this analysis since  most of Rebound and Smoke and Shadow was about his heel-face turn and redemption arc.

But there is one thing that does bother me about post-redemption Kei Lo’s actions and this is when he attacked Azula in The Garden of Tranquil Souls without any apparent plan and got himself turned into a (brief) hostage.

For I understand that it was a moment to not only show how far Kei Lo had, but also to show Azula evilness by mocking Mai’s taste in men and implicitly threatening his life for daring to touch her/interrupt her “dialogue” bullying, assault, and psychological torture of with Mai.

But looking at Kei Lo’s actions from the bigger picture, they don’t really make sense and don’t paint a good picture of Kei Lo at all.

For Kei Lo had not only seen Mai defeat an entire NOS hideout with a toddler strapped to her back, Kei Lo was in fact the last person she fought before she left (spoiler alert: it was a total curb stomp battle).

Moreover, during the time that he had spent dating Mai and spent with Zuko and Aang, it is highly unlikely that the topic of Azula didn’t come up even if there was no comic panels showing us this (when you have limited space, you can’t waste panels on “superfluous” dialogue) and should have known that just like Mai was way out of league in terms of combat prowess, Azula is similarly beyond his abilities.

In addition, even if he didn’t believe what people mostly likely told him about Azula, he should have believed his own eyes as he wanted Azula basically toy with Mai despite Mai actually fighting with true lethal intent (I know some people might disagree with me but the art makes it clear that Mai was trying to kill Azula and not just pin her).

And finally, instead of rationally thinking and trying to get Zuko and/or Aang’s attention so someone way more equipped could help rescue Mai, he charges at Azula. But instead of using his knife or trying to get Azula into a chokehold, he just shoves her. 

Allowing Azula to not only shoot him with concussive lighting but then hold him at firepoint, forcing Mai, who had been able to stand up to Azula, albeit terribly I admit, to basically beg for Kei Lo’s life and leave herself vulnerable to Azula’s attacks as well.

For I know they are not analogous situations, but what Kei Lo did reminds me of dumbasses who try to intervene in active shooting situations, thinking they can be the hero, but end up making things worse due to being taken hostage, if they aren’t outright killed, making a peacefully resolution that much harder for the relevant authorities.

Likewise, Kei Lo, by getting himself taken hostage, could have, and should have as far as he knew, led to a nasty outcome. 

For as far as he knows, Azula is a sadistic, seditious, child-killing, child kidnapping, genocidal domestic terrorist who has no qualms about killing or cruelly treating “friends” or family. And so what is not to say that Azula wouldn’t have tortured him to get back at Mai and/or tortured Mai in front of him, forcing Mai to take her cruel punishment in order to prevent Azula from killing her boyfriend?

Kei Lo is very lucky that Zuko intervened when he did and is even more lucky that Azula was more interested in making her brother “strong” than really hurting anyone.

But instead of showing everyone berating him after the kids had been rescued, there was no narrative time spent at all. 

Which leads me to believe that that particular moment just happened, in part, just to showcase how vile Azula is despite in not being in line, imo, with the conscientious and aware person Kei Lo seemed to be growing into (as seen when he broke up with Mai since he realized despite being aloof for Smoke and Shadow that Mai could never get over Zuko).

Sokka & Katara

There isn’t much to say other than they were the only ones who interacted with post-canon Azula who treated her like the threat she.

That and it was obvious they were written out of Smoke and Shadow before Azula’s involvement with the kidnappings was revealed because if they were still in the Fire Nation when it happened, Azula and her girl gang would be back in jail instead of remaining menaces to society. 

Or at least at bare minimum they would have had to work much harder during the climax (ex. The Fire Warriors, including Azula, would have had to fight with lethal intent).

Toph

Other than the assumption that Toph helped Zuko search for Azula after the climax of The Search, all I have to say is that there is a good reason why Toph has not really shown up in any of the comics Azula has been. 

And that is because Toph would have never tolerated any of Azula’s bullshit or treated her with kid gloves instead of the genocidal war criminal who is still trying to negatively influence Fire Nation politics that she is as of current canon.

Other World Leaders

Note: Yes, there is no evidence that Azula was part of the war council meeting that ordered the attack on the Northern Water Tribe. But considering how comfortable Azula was in the “let’s burn down The Earth Kingdom” war council meeting plus the fact that Iroh thought it was appropriate for a 13 year old Zuko to partake in a war council meeting, I don’t think it is that much of a leap to assume that Azula was part of the war council meeting that ordered the Northern Water Tribe attack.

From Kuei’s perspective, Azula led a coup that ended with him in exile before suggesting and helping plan a genocide of his people. From Hakoda’s perspective, Azula almost killed both of his children several times. From Chief Arnook’s perspective, Azula was part of the war council that decided to not only invade his country, but to also kill the Moon Spirit and indirectly force his beloved daughter to sacrifice her life to restore said spirit.

So once Azula gets into Zuko’s custody, shouldn’t they have had established monitoring protocols to make sure that Zuko, who had less than six months ago willingly worked with her to conqueror Ba Sing Se and help Azula kill Aang, keeps one of the most dangerous war criminals in their world locked up while also establishing contingency plans to deal with scenarios in which Azula escapes?

Especially since Aang took mercy on her and didn’t remove her bending, meaning that Azula could grow stronger if she ever escapes (though I guess being in an asylum does allow for exponential growth anyway…) and eventually be able to get a cheap shot on Aang again before violently retaking the throne and restarting the 100 year war?

But instead of doing that, they naively trust that Zuko will keep Azula locked up without any check-ups (none of Zuko’s interactions with Kuei or Hadoka ever imply the topic of Azula’s status ever comes up). And while I understand the meta-reason for this (so it is more believable that Azula could remain an undetectable fugitive), it still has the potential to make them all look really, really bad.

For what happens, for example, The Fire Warriors create an international false flag terrorist attack that gets people from the other nations killed, in addition to Fire Nationals, that leads to a short skirmish that gets even more people killed before The Fire Warriors are found to be the true culprits and dealt with.

For even if they manage to capture The Fire Warriors, how are the world leaders going to explain to their subjects/citizens the lack of security measures they took in ensuring that Azula stayed in jailed or, if she ever escaped, the lack of plans to make sure she was apprehended as swiftly as possible?

Moreover, how are they going to explain the fact that they naively wholeheartedly trusted Zuko to make sure that Azula remained in prison or, if she escaped, that he would tell them and ask for their help if needed in apprehending her instead of trying to cover up the fact that it was his selfish desire to find mommy that gave the most dangerous person on the planet the means to escape? 

Especially after the Yu Dao fiasco showed that Zuko might not be the most trustworthy or reliable partner?

Do any of them take their responsibilities seriously!? No and that is why the Red Lotus had a point for why should a bunch of clowns be in charge of nation-states if they can’t even use state power to properly protect people.

Bending & Combat

One of the more endearing things about Avatar is the fact that its combat & magic system is based on IRL martial arts. And this is reflected in the fact that all of the named prodigies except for Katara & Sokka (who likely the greatest prodigies in the franchise in terms of speed of skill acquisition and mastery) have undergone years of rigorous training to be the master benders and fighters that they are shown to be in the show.

Moreover, the show explains that bending & fighting are not just martial arts, but are also a spiritual practice as well and that the more spiritually in tune you are the stronger your combat prowess will be. And that the less spiritual and/or the more out of balance you are, the weaker your combat prowess will be. 

For not only does your mental state affect things like your breathing or tactics, but also your willingness to incorporate other styles of bending/fighting into yours as well.

And the show makes it very clear that the strongest and best benders/fighters incorporate all the other styles of bending.

Finally, the show, whenever it introduced new bending/fighting techniques and/or power ups, made sure they didn’t contradict what was previously established (ex. Metal bending is possible only because most metal still has pieces of unrefined earth in them; chi-blocking is possible because everything has chi in it) or gave them logical weaknesses to make sure they weren’t completely game breaking (ex. Lighting redirection does negate lighting bending, but you need to be in the proper stance and make sure the lighting never touches your heart or else you will still die; chi-blocking only works if you can touch someone).

But the comics, in an effort to keep Azula a credible threat, seem to disregard all of the previously established rules and themes about bending and in doing so leaves the Avatar franchise in a worse off state.

For why was Azula, after two years in an asylum where it can be presumed she wasn’t able to train like she used to, didn’t have anywhere near the same resources, and went further into psychosis was able to retain her physicality and remain the hype-athletic fighter she was during the war?

Moreover, how did Azula get so strong and fast during her time in the asylum (and later in the wilderness and as a fugitive) to the point that she is arguably the best H2H fighter in Avatar?

For not only did Azula manage to hold off a serious and in armor post-canon Suki and Ty Lee despite wearing a billowing cape and a mask that blocked vision in her left eye, she also managed to consistently and causally dodge Mai’s knives despite the latter actually trying to kill her.

Not to mention how she managed to over-power Zuko, who was arguably the second best swords fighter in the franchise before having two years to add to his sword fighting prowess, in their short fire-sword fight in the tomb to the point that Zuko thought he could only prevent his death by convincing Azula that no one would ever accept her on the throne.

Zuko! You know the person who literally has to be knocked out and/or dying before giving up in a fight did not believe he could get out of Azula’s hold before she presumably stabbed him to death.

How come Azula’s fire managed to not only get stronger (ex. During the war, if she released her fire from her control it became orange, but after the asylum, it stays blue) but also why was Azula able to develop several new lighting techniques, several of which where completely unseen in the franchise, or hadn’t been seen for centuries as far as the reader was concerned (ex. Concussive lighting; instant lighting; quick charge lighting; lighting sphere; a bootleg chidori; instant area of effect lighting; lighting zaps; the ability to split and control her stream of lighting after she has fired it; lighting redirection).

And speaking of new lighting techniques, how did Azula manage to learn the lighting redirection technique on her own? For none of Iroh, Zuko, and Aang ever showed her the technique and Azula only saw the technique like four times (Iroh on the ship during The Avatar State; Zuko during Sozin’s Comet; Zuko twice during The Search). 

And as far as I remember, the TV show never implied or showed that Azula was a Goku-level prodigy in that she only had to look at technique only a handful of times to completely master it and/or develop a counter to it.

Not to mention the fact that Azula is still a hyper-nationalist who still has no respect for the other nations, let alone their bending arts.

Like have you seen all the times she calls Sokka and Katara snow peasants despite the two of them technically being her equal politically, Katara defeating Azula during Sozin’s Comet and almost defeating her during The Crossroads of Destiny? Does comics!Azula seem like the person to willingly incorporate waterbending principles into her bending, which is necessary to redirect lighting?

Also, what the hell is smoke-bending?! For I know in the Kyoshi novels, Kyoshi bends smoke as part of her first attempt at firebending and that Aang generated smoke during The Firebending Master (so smoke-bending is a subset of firebending as the seeming precursor to firebending itself).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqLW99cn1A8

But how did The Fire Warriors manage to learn how to psychically generate and manipulate smoke?

Moreover, how did The Fire Warriors manage to learn how to use smoke-bending while using their firebending at the same time? 

For as far as I know, other than Azula in the Smoke and Shadow Omnibus Cover, there is no other instance as far as I know of a non-Avatar bending an element and a sub-element at the same time. So how were they able to do so?

And how come Aang and Zuko (two master firebenders, one of which is also a master airbender) were not able to do anything about The Fire Warrior’s smoke? 

For shouldn’t they have been able to use their bending to clear to smoke instead of either choking on it (Aang) or allowing Azula to escape despite being a tomb with only one exit (Zuko)?

But I think the most frustrating thing is how strong the Fire Warriors are. For yes, I understand that the Gaang aren’t the only prodiges in the world and that for a children’s action-adventure series, it is hard to write conflicts if heroes face no physical challenges whatsoever.

But there is no justification both in-universe or out of it for why the Fire Warriors are so strong both in terms of bending but also in terms of athleticism as well. Especially considering the fact they were heavily implied to have been kept in the same conditions that Azula was (and thus shouldn’t have been able to train to an elite master level) and the fact that they too were wearing long billowing capes with their left eyes blocked by their wood masks.

In fact, this ties into my next point…

Fire Warriors & The Asylum System

How was Azula able to break out six girls from her old asylum without Zuko finding out? For even assuming that Azula killed everyone there, eventually someone had to have come and found out that at least six girls where missing? Especially when, assuming Zuko really did try to find Azula, one of the things he would have done is put a guard there since it was likely that Azula would try to return there.

But instead of getting an answer on how Azula was able to break them out without anyone finding out (other than the meta-textual answer of Azula needed a new girl gang and the only people who she could have plausibly convinced considering her living conditions of the past 2 years were her fellow asylum inmates), all we are left with is speculation, some of which implies some very nasty things about Zuko’s reign and The Fire Nation. 

Like the idea that the asylum system remained in control of Ozai loyalists and are currently weaponizing the inmates to create a shadow army to overthrow Zuko using the group of people Zuko and his regime would be least likely to suspect.

And speaking of speculation, what are The Fire Warriors’ motivations and/or goals in regards to joining Azula’s ongoing seditious domestic terrorism plot? For I understand that Azula needs new hench-women in order to carry out her plots since it would break the suspension of disbelief to have Azula carry them out by herself, but neither non-ableist explanation I could think of makes any sense.  

For either they are scared of her and/or being manipulated, but that doesn’t make sense since Azula no longer has any political power and thus they can ignore her once she breaks them out. Not to mention Azula doesn’t seem to have regained all of her mental faculties (ex. her Mochi rant during Smoke and Shadow and how her eyes bulge out like crazy!Azula in The Search at the end of the rant). 

Or because she became non-ironic friends with them, which doesn’t make sense since Azula during her time in the asylum was clearly not in the mental state to take care of herself, let alone make friends not relying on her status or fear-mongering. Especially when The Search has Azula blame “Ursa” for making Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee stop fearing her, heavily implying Azula still thinks fear is a good way to maintain relationships.

Which leaves us with the ableist answer (sorry for the language, it is to get my point across): they are crazy bitches and crazy bitches don’t need any reason to do harm!

And do you know how harmful that is to IRL mentally ill people? For mentally ill people have had to fight really, really hard to fight the association that being mentally ill makes you evil or prone to evil. And it is only recently they have been able to fight back against such associations thanks in part due to positive representations in various artistic works.

So it makes me really disappointed that Avatar, a franchise that handles several difficult topics (ex. Child abuse, rescue parents, imperialism/colonialism, child soldiers, physical disabilities, war orphans, sexism/misogyny, hyper-nationalism, genocide, abusive sibling relationships, abusive friendships, etc.) with such grace that even children can clearly understand and learn from them, engaged in such harmful stereotyping. Especially when one of the most highly regarded arcs in LoK is Korra overcoming her PTSD from being poisoned with mercury over the course of several years and with the help of several people.

For at least Azula, with all the cries of ableism about her treatment in the comics and other post-canon works like Legacy of The Fire Nation, has reasons for being evil other than her mental illness. 

Like the fact that she was indoctrinated and groomed from birth to be an active member of the ruling family of an authoritarian, genocidal, imperialism empire.

But what are the Fire Warrior’s reasons for helping Azula outside of being mentally ill?

Themes (The Search)

To be quite honest, I really don’t think The Search has a theme since it mostly exists to answer the question of what happened to Ursa. So I don’t think there is much to analyze or criticize in terms of themes.

Themes (Smoke and Shadow)

However, Smoke and Shadow does have a central theme: fear, or more importantly, getting over the fear of: Ozai (for Ursa), Azula, and/or being a tyrant (in Zuko’s case).

And in regards to Ozai, I think Smoke and Shadow actually did a good job of showing Ursa getting over her fear of Ozai. In fact, I think their confrontation in Ozai’s jail cell, with Ozai being reduced to a mad dog after seeing he has no hold on Ursa anymore is one of the few good things that come out of the comics.

But in regards to the other two themes, which are heavily tied to each in my opinion, are butchered by the need to keep Azula a credible villain.

For I think fear does serve a valid purpose: to make sure we avoid situations and/or people that are likely to put ourselves or the people we love in danger. 

And boy do a lot of people have a lot to fear about post-Smoke and Shadow.

Mai and Ty Lee have every reason to continue to fear Azula after Azula basically humiliated them in combat and made it very clear that they are only still alive because Azula wants them to be. Not to mention in Mai’s case, Azula basically bullied Ukano into action, causing her father to eventually have to go to jail for a long time, and kidnapped her brother before put him in a holding cell for a good period of time.

Aang has ever reason to continue to fear Azula considering she has several lighting attacks that can bypass lighting redirection, the fact that Azula herself knows lighting redirection, the fact that Azula has smoke bending powers similar to The Fire Warriors that caused him to be knocked out cold, and that Azula has successful shown that she can cause Zuko to fall down the path of his ancestors, meaning that Azula could eventually succeed and indirectly wipe out everything Aang and his friends fought for during the war.

Zuko has ever reason to fear Azula considering: she basically broke into the palace and operated a conspiracy from right under his nose; she kidnapped a bunch of kids, including their half-sister, and he could do nothing until Ty Lee remembered the secret passageway; that she has taken away his trump card over her and has essentially become the strongest firebender in history; that he is only alive because Azula has plans for him; and that she is still loose and plotting the next step in her dastardly plot to remake Zuko in her image.

Moreover, Zuko has every reason to fear turning into a tyrant since he not only has failed to capture The Fire Warriors post-Smoke and Shadow, all that he has done to show that he won’t fall prey to the Fire Warriors manipulations and assaults once.

He doesn’t order a sweep of his government to make sure that there aren’t any more mavericks like Constable Sung in his ranks. 

He doesn’t try to craft policies to ensure the various Ozai loyalists groups can’t take advantage of alienated people like Kei Lo to fill their ranks with people willing to die since they have nothing in life. 

He doesn’t institute any safeguards or protocols to make sure that if he has to ever institute authoritarian measures ever again, he does so because it was the best and logical decision possible and not out of fear. 

He hasn’t undergone training (ex. Combine his firebending with his sword skills as is implied in the “Old Friends” artwork) to close the gap that has once again opened between him and Azula so that if he ever encounters Azula again, his life won’t be in her hands once more.

Hell! People like Iroh, Noren and Ursa have a lot to fear considering that Azula has easily breached the palace (and probably has other means of getting in undetected even if the tunnels are now known since she was responsible for evacuating Caldera City during the DoBS), one of the secure places in the world, and has demonstrated continued willingness to not only hurt Zuko but also now hurt Kiyi.

Moreover, assuming they ever find out where the other Fire Warriors came from, they will (and should considering their eras’ lack of knowledge on mental health) fear the inmates in the asylum system. 

For if six of them were willing to join Azula and were really strong benders who could even knock out a fully realized Aang, what will happen, hypothetically, when Azula builds herself an army out of the asylum inmates she and her warriors break out of the various asylums in the country?

So I guess what I am trying to say is that, by keeping Azula a villain, Smoke and Shadow undermined its own theme of “we have to learn to live with fear and never let it rule us.”

For only fools would not live in fear of Azula and The Fire Warriors until they are apprehended and I don’t think any of the characters mentioned in this section are big enough fools to underestimate what Azula and The Fire Warriors can do and what they are willing to do to achieve their goals.

Conclusion

Azula was one of the best villains in Western Animation and part of that is because the characters and the narrative treated her like the threat she was and that, even if her schemes did rely on good fortunes (ex. Sokka vouching for The Kyoshi Warriors before leaving with Aang to his father) they were created by various characters acting like they did normally and not in OOC fashion (ex. Kuei is an airheaded fool and so it is not out of character for Kuei to forget that he told Azula about the DoBS invasion plan and/or tell anyone associated with the plan that he spilled the beans before going on exile) just so Azula could win. 

Moreover, Azula doesn’t display new powers/abilities when the plot demands it just to remain a threat; all she does is exploit her previously established abilities and intelligence/cunning (ex. The Avatar is slowly floating up in the air in his Avatar State that is previously established to turn him into a berserking force of nature. Ok. I’ll just take advantage of the fact that he is exposed to shoot him dead with lighting before he can harm my allies, my friends, my brother, and/or I).

However, in the comics, Azula, despite remaining just as big as a threat, if not bigger, is not treated as such by either the narrative or the characters she interacts with. Moreover, Azula and her henchwomen frequently come up with new powers just so they remain a credible threat. And it not only ruins Azula as a villain, but also the characters that she has the misfortune of interacting with directly or indirectly.

For it really hurt to see a fully realized Aang essentially get knocked out by some faceless goons.

It really hurt to see Mai break up with Zuko because he visited Ozai without telling her and then hide from Zuko the existence of the New Ozai Society and the fact that her father was leading it. Not to mention, when confronted for treason, seeing her avoid owning her mistake before everyone unceremoniously dropped the subject.

It really hurt to see post-canon Suki and Ty Lee, two of the best H2H fighters who have learned each other’s techniques, essentially get fodderized by a half-blind Azula. Or to see Azula learn lighting redirection with no prior indication of how she managed to learn the technique. Or to see her invent concussive lighting because the comics want her to spam her iconic lighting at everyone like the villain she is but don’t want to deal with the consequences previously established in the TV show or in LoK.

It made me angry to see Zuko keep giving Azula second chance after second chance when Azula deserves no chances as long as she is on her current path. Especially when she keeps on hurting the people Zuko supposedly loves and the subjects he supposedly cares about.

Anyway, before my rant gets too long, the point is that not that Azula can’t remain a good villain. For even I, as someone who believes an Azula redemption would be compelling, believe there are ways to keep Azula a credible antagonist in line with what was shown in the TV show.

But if this is the way Azula is going to be continued to be written as a villain, as a living plot device, I don’t want her to remain a villain. 

Especially when the bad writing surrounding villain!Azula starts to ruin other character’s previously established characterization as well as previously established world building and lore.

–Submitted by justanotherthrowaway1950

[horrorartist23]

Ok so I have rewritten a few things of the story ending but please read the whole thing again. It will make more sense

⚠️Tw: heavy Abuse/Scars/violence and blood⚠️

Victor was one of 5 Children in his Family. Born in 1953 he is the youngest from his Siblings and the last child his Parents Veronica and Albert Bellman had. They were very Wealthy, had a big mansion with nannys butlers and more. They also had a big yard with pool that they could play in. His Siblings consisted of James, Rick, William, Fabian and him. They were always spoiled by Veronica and Albert but Bellman was left out. Basicly the runt of the litter. They spoiled the other 4 but punished Victor for the smallest and dumbest reasons. When he was just 10. It was always ,,we never wanted you" or we dont care about you" or ,,you are a mistake" despite that he still tried to be polite just like he was taught. He got locked in his room. His butlers brought him food and let him out for showers and the bathroom. In school he didnt have many friends. He was bullied for being ,,wierd" even tho he was just a well dressed, well mannered young man. Other kids also thought he was a ,,teachers pet" a few of the teachers in his school were nice to him and cared for him. When he came to school with scars or a black eye he would always be asked if everything is ok but he would say yes. If he told them they would have hurt him even more. Family members, teachers, neighbours they all knew, but Victors Parents always threatend to hurt him. He went to a diffrent school then his brothers. His grades were alright. He couldnt do any better because all of the abuse got to him or he slipped a bunch of times and got worse grades. At 16 years old he was 7 feet tall in high school. He also got exspelled from his old school because he beat up another student. That guy bullied him and he snapped. Eventho he got into a lot of trouble by that time he was so cold inside from the abuse that he didnt care about it. He graduated from the other school when he was 19. Victor could have had a job and everything but his parents still locked him in his room. They focused on his brothers. All of them got a job, even thier own familys later. Victor was only cared for by mainly Butler Regi who was there since he was little. But even after a few years he couldnt help him anymore. Now here is the thing. His parents still locked him in his room. People would ask why he didnt just escape trough a window or sneak out? They were cameras everywhere in the house and in his yard. Plus he didnt dare to try.

The torment continued. Sometimes they would just beat him for fun. That included cutting with knifes, belts, with fists and one time a Machete right in his shoulder. The wound got badly infected since he wasnt even allowed to go to the hospital. After a while he couldnt move that arm anymore. He was covered in blood too and to add to that had a belt tightly tied around his neck. His Parents told everyone that he had died in a horrible accident.

25 years later. Both Veronica and Albert sold the house to a family with 2 kids. Two young girls and moved into the city where they both where caught by the police only a few days later and sentenced to life in prison since there was more then enough evidence against them. But they refused to tell where Victor was. His room was hidden behind a Bookshelf with a lever behind a certain book.

The new family settled in well and 9 years later the two girls where snooping around when one of them pulled out the book with the lever behind it. Curious she pulled it and opened the secret room. They didnt go in tho they called thier parents first. So the parents weaponized them selfs with knifes, told thier kids to go into thier rooms and then went into Victors room.

There they found him laying on the floor covered in blood and scars. The father wanted to help him but Victor hissed and quickly hid from him. He lost all of his trust. The mother wanted to call the police but the dad wanted to help him. It took them 5 years to earn his trust.

Since Victor had alot of scars and wounds he needed to go to a hospital but he was too scared to go outside. They arranged a whole medical team to come to the house and treat him there. And tho he was fond of them at first he realised only shortly after that they wanted to help him. So he got all the scars stitched up and they treated him for his arm/shoulder injury.

The Family with one boy and one girl took Victor in and they treated him like he was family. Something he always dreamed off. They taught him many things including everything that he needed to live on his own. He became really close with them. Since Victor had forgotten alot of things he needed to be taught these things again. But they got it all covered. From here on out it finally got better.

A few years later Victor moved out, thanked them for everything and continued being in contact with the family after. He moved into a flat and later got a Main Coon cat he called Chleo.

He searched for a job with the help of an agency and found the Bellhop one. He agreed to it and soon meet his younger co workers. He was fond and didnt like them at first. But they became close friends later. Then it took Victor 4 years and he finally met Roger who he later falls in love with.

Fun fact!:

Roger and Victor are only one month into thier relationship with one another. They are both to scared to make the next move

[sinsbymanka]

Inquisitor as a Companion: Maria Cadash

@little-lightning-lavellan started this amazing trend and I have gratuitously stolen the template from them. I finished this up this morning as a good distraction for not feeling well! 

Is your OC a Companion in the Dragon Age series? What would it be like for a player to select them to join their party for quests (or romance them, perhaps? 👀)

You have selected Maria to join your party! (art made by   @lavellanvibes)

Race: Dwarf 

Affiliation: Carta 

Gender: Female

Class: Rogue/Archer

Specialization: Assassin 

Background

Maria was born in 9:11 Dragon, the eldest daughter of Roland and Meera Cadash. She has a sister who is two years younger than her - Beatrix Cadash. When Maria was four, her mother died in a Carta mission gone wrong. Her father had been in line to take over the Carta, but fell apart after the death of his wife. He seems to have spent the next ten years in a bottle, but Maria rarely says anything negative about him. 

Most of Maria’s childhood was spent in the care of her grandmother, the indomitable Zarra Cadash. Although funds were frequently tight, Zarra did her best to raise her granddaughters with a sense of dwarven pride. Maria is well aware of the history of House Cadash, the abandonment of her family and thaig by Ozammar, and the fate of most of her Ancestors. Her grandmother is very traditional and while Maria may jokingly laugh at most of her traditions, she still studiously carries them out. 

Maria quickly became her own rising star in the Carta, known for her quick wit, sound mind, and deadly aim. However, she met and fell in love with the son of a prominent Merchant’s Guild member when she was 20 years old - Fynn Dunhark. After a whirlwind romance, Maria abandoned Ostwick, the Carta, and her family to start a new life with Fynn in Hercinia. Zarra disapproved completely - expressing much distrust of the Guild. Although Maria wanted Bea to accompany her, Bea refused because she too was doing well for herself in the Carta.

One year after their elopement, assassins hired by Fynn’s father tracked the couple to Hercinia. They had been hired to kill Maria, but Fynn died at their hands instead and Maria was captured. The assassins, knowing they wouldn’t recoup the other half of their payment from Fynn’s father, ransomed Maria back to the Carta. To raise the money, Bea Cadash made an unsavory alliance with a very distant cousin of their, Dwyka Cadash (also known as the Dasher) who had been “sweet” on Maria before her elopement. 

Bea Cadash helped Dwyka assume control of the Ostwick Carta and Maria came back to her family a broken hearted woman. She resumed her place in the Carta and, eventually, rumors began to grow that she had entered into a relationship with Dasher himself. Fynn Dunhark’s father committed suicide after the failed assassination attempt. 

Maria spent the next several years in the Ostwick Carta. She’s perhaps one of the best smugglers the Carta has ever seen and has a very in depth knowledge of the way most criminal networks in Thedas operate and a firm grasp of the lyrium trade. Although she seems to have no actual power within the Carta to make decisions, she’s widely respected by her fellows and it’s roundly acknowledged the whole thing would fall to shambles without her steady hand. She’s got a long history of handling the most difficult smuggling jobs herself. Much to her detriment when she’s sent to Southern Thedas to supply the templars and mages in the middle of a war. 

Involvement

Maria Cadash can be found at the Storm Coast as soon as the area opens up for exploration. Scout Harding will offer in her report a quest called “Signs of Carta Smuggling” which leads to a hidden cove in the map and a pitched battle between Maria, several templars, and several mages. After dispatching the enemies, Maria can be engaged in conversation. She reveals she was selling lyrium for the Carta, but one of her crew messed up and gave both sides of the dispute the same time and location to meet. Further questioning seems to reveal that Maria was charging the mages less than the templars, when pressed she says it’s because they don’t have as much money. If Varric or Bull are in the party they will both shrewdly interject that she’s a liar. 

Maria will talk about the smuggling operation and the Inquisitor has the opportunity to recruit her by asking the Ostwick Carta to supply the Inquisition with lyrium. Maria says she’s got other skills than smuggling, opening up her availability as a party member. 

When at Haven, she can be found at the archery targets. Once the Inquisition relocates to Skyhold, she spends her time on the battlements near the tavern. When asked why she’s always up there, she jokes that she likes to be tall. 

Approval and Romance

Maria can be romanced by an Inquisitor of any race or gender, but the romance is not locked in or consummated for most of the game. Maria is slow to trust or return the Inquisitor’s affection and doesn’t respond well to being pushed for more before she’s ready. 

She slightly favors the mages over the templars, but much like Varric, tends to look at individuals instead of groups. She approves of acts of kindness and charity, an Inquisitor that jokes with her and others, and actions that favor the oppressed. She disapproves of most things done just to appease nobles, acts that hurt others, and acts that side with who she sees as an oppressor. She also, interestingly, disapproves of executing most prisoners. The sole exception is Erimond, where her approval is guaranteed but the amount of approval is contingent on whether or not Hawke is left in the Fade. 

If Maria isn’t romanced by the Inquisitor, she can end up in a romance with Varric Tethras, but it does require some work on the Inquisitor’s part to move beyond flirtation in game banter. This sequence of quests involve Maria’s companion quest and Varric’s. They can be obtained post-Adamant and done in any order. 

If Solas and Maria are not romanced by the Inquisitor, in game banter seems to reveal that many companions believe Solas has a crush on Maria Cadash. This includes Varric, who oddly seems to not mind even if he is in a relationship with Maria. Despite this banter, there is no way to cause a relationship between Solas and Maria. 

Companion Quests

If Hawke survives the Fade:

The Inquisitor, when saying goodbye to Hawke, witnesses Hawke’s goodbye to Varric. If Maria and Varric have been in the party together often enough to start their flirting dialogues, the camera will show Maria approaching and Hawke will cryptically tell Varric that there is “Always time to start a new story.” The Inquisitor has the option to wave Maria over to say goodbye to Hawke as well. If she’s invited into the conversation, Maria will jokingly tell Hawke she’ll keep Varric in trouble. Hawke seems to approve of this. 

If Hawke is left in the Fade: 

Upon approaching Varric in Skyhold, Varric will talk about how he misses Hawke. If Maria and Varric have been in the party together often enough to start their flirting dialogues, the camera will show Maria approaching. The Inquisitor has the option to wave her over. If she’s invited into the conversation, Maria will ask Varric how long he’s been writing letters. When he says he’s done Maria says she’ll use her smuggling contacts to get them where they need to go and that he needs to sleep. Varric allows himself to be sent to bed. 

Varric’s Quest in Vallamar: 

When Bianca Davri is in Skyhold, Maria will shift locations. She will move from the battlements and into the upper floor of the tavern near Cole. Cole’s ambient dialogue will reveal that she is unhappy with Bianca’s presence. If Maria is brought along to Vallamar, she disapproves. During the quest she frequently interjects into Varric and Bianca’s fond memories dialogue. After the second time this happens, Bianca will begin to ask intrusive questions about Maria. Whoever the third companion is will ask the Inquisitor if they’re happy with their choices for this party. 

Maria becomes angry at Bianca during the culmination of the Vallamar quest. She will ask the other woman how many people she’s hurt to answer a question. Bianca will ask Maria how many people she’s hurt on the Dasher’s behalf. If this quest is done before Maria’s, the Inquisitor will have the opportunity to ask Maria about the Dasher. Regardless of the dialogue exploration, Bianca will eventually reveal that she knows Maria is in a relationship with the Dasher. 

If Maria’s companion quest has been completed, the Inquisitor can refute that, but Maria will disapprove of any dialogue options beyond “That’s not your business,” which gathers great approval. Varric will attempt to interject and calm the situation, but Maria will turn on him and ask him how long he intends on living in his fantasy world or if he’s ever going to grow up. This is the same conversation you can witness at Skyhold post-completion if Maria was not brought along. Either way, Maria storms off. It is revealed that she has left the party (in Vallamar) or Skyhold. She is unavailable to be selected as a companion until the Inquisitor leaves the area and then returns to Skyhold. 

If you have Solas in the party while Maria is missing, he will reveal he wishes he could find her in the Fade, but he cannot, and that he is worried about her. If this takes place after the quest with Wisdom is completed, the Inquisitor may point out Solas is getting a taste of his own medicine. 

The Inquisitor may choose to ask Maria where she was when she returns. If she is asked, Maria will reveal she was almost back to Ostwick before she realized clan Davri had hired assassins to kill Varric. If the Inquisitor asks where the assassins are, Maria says they’re not a problem anymore. Further questioning reveals Maria has not spoken to Varric about what happened and they both seem to have just made up their mind to never mention it again. 

To trigger Maria and Varric’s romance, the Inquisitor must tell Varric that Maria came back to take care of the assassins sent after him. Varric laughs off the assassins, saying he’s dealt with them before, but seems touched that Maria came back to handle them. His dialogue ends with him being thoughtful and murmuring that maybe he hasn’t fucked up. 

Maria’s Carta Problems: 

Maria will mention she’s got unfinished business with the Carta and ask for the Inquisitor’s help. If the Inquisitor agrees to help, no questions asked, Maria greatly approves. If the Inquisitor questions her, she seems exasperated, but does not disapprove. 

Maria reveals that the Dasher has information about her family which means Maria can never leave the Carta. The Inquisitor can ask Maria if she wants to leave and Maria indicates she doesn’t know, but she wants to have the choice, and no matter what happens she can’t go back to Dasher’s Carta. When questioned about the Dasher, Maria will reveal his identity and discuss his cruelty and stupidity with business. At this point in time, the Inquisitor can ask about rumors linking Maria and Dwyka romantically. Maria will say it’s not like that and ask you to trust her. If you say you do, she will greatly approve. 

Maria says she’s heard Dwyka is in Ferelden looking for her to bring her back to Ostwick. Maria wants to find him first. The Inquisitor must track down information on Carta operations. When Leliana is asked she recommends Varric’s own Carta connections as the best route. The Inquisitor can ask Varric to look into it, which he does gladly after surmising it’s for Maria. He does warn the Inquisitor Maria probably didn’t want him knowing what she’s doing. 

After speaking to Varric, a mission opens at the War Table. Upon completion of this mission, Maria can be taken to a spot on the map near the Storm Coast. Exploration  of the map reveals that Dwyka is dealing in red lyrium. When confronted by the Inquisitor and Maria, Dwyka taunts Maria that she’ll never get away from him. This cues a battle. 

After the enemies are defeated, a final cut scene shows Maria firing an arrow into Dwyka’s throat and then standing over him as he dies. She tells him he will never hurt her or her family again, and that they’ll all forget he even existed. If Solas or Varric are in the party, one or both will comment that Dwyka got off too easily. Despite their victory, Maria seems exhausted. The Inquisitor can ask what was between her and Dwyka and Maria will confess that her sister murder Fynn Dunhark’s father after the failed assassination attempt and Dwyka had evidence that would see her family wiped out by the Merchant’s Guild for killing one of their own. He used that knowledge to blackmail Maria and Bea into working for him. She can be pressed further by an Inquisitor asking if all she did was work for him. She’ll admit that’s not all, but she never loved Dwyka, she was trapped. 

If Varric is in the party, he’ll reluctantly confirm the Guild has organized to purge troublesome Carta families before. Maria will bitterly state that the Guild can’t survive without the Carta - they do the jobs “respectable” dwarves won’t do and nobody blinks at their deaths. Varric tries to protest and she pointedly asks him how many Carta members Hawke wiped out in Kirkwall. Varric says that isn’t fair and Maria responds that life isn’t fair. Then she says they should go. 

After this quest, the Inquisitor has the option to inform Maria that Varric helped find the information that led to Dwyka. Maria says she should be angry at the Inquisitor for involving him, but then admits Varric isn’t a bad sort. She says “If things were different…” and then trails off before saying she’ll have to find some way to thank him.

This is also the trigger for Maria’s romance. The Inquisitor has the opportunity to tell her that when she’s ready, they’d love to get to know her better. Maria says she needs time, and if the Inquisitor says she can have as much time as she needs then Maria is on a romance path. 

Helping Cole: 

After both quests have been completed, if Maria and Varric have started flirting in party banter, and Maria was invited to the conversation post-Adamant, the following events can occur after the next storyline quest but before Trespasser DLC is started: 

Cole will come to the Inquisitor and ask for help. He’ll reveal that Maria and Varric are in love with each other but they won’t talk. This starts a complicated chain of events where the Inquisitor and Cole attempt to force Maria and Varric to talk about their feelings. 

A game of truth or dare in the Tavern where Maria and Varric keep doing increasingly bold dares to avoid picking truth. The Inquisitor can dare them to kiss, and they will, but they’ll break away quickly and end the game. 

The Inquisitor can start a bookclub and pick one of Varric’s romances. Cassandra is overjoyed, but Maria spends most of the book club needling Varric mercilessly and Varric doing dramatic readings in silly voices to make her laugh. Cassandra eventually kicks both Maria and Varric out of the book club. 

Finally, Cole and the Inquisitor cause an “accident” where Maria and Varric are trapped alone in the undercroft by a magical artifact Dagna was studying that creates a barrier. The Inquisitor says she will go get a mage to undo it and leaves. When the Inquisitor returns, several hours later, she interrupts Varric and Maria cuddling and looking out over the mountains. This locks in their romance. If Solas is still with the Inquisition, he will be the mage that undoes the barrier. He will say he is very happy for Maria and Varric before quickly leaving. If Solas is in a romance with the Inquisitor or already gone, Dorian will undo the barrier and say “It’s about time.”

If the Inquisitor is romancing Maria themselves, they will skip right to the end of this quest before the Arbor Wilds and end up locked in the Undercroft with Maria because of Cole’s “help”. Maria will confess her feelings and thank the Inquisitor for being patient. She’ll say they have lots of time before Cole gets help and ask what the Inquisitor would like to do. The Inquisitor may choose to talk or consummate the relationship, Maria will approve of either and the relationship will be locked in. Solas will retrieve them after a good amount of time and state he is glad they found happiness eventually. 

Trespasser

If Maria was romanced by the Inquisitor: 

She can be found in the gardens and it is revealed she has continued to work for the Inquisition. The Inquisitor can ask Maria to marry them and Maria confesses she thought she’d never get married again and it would feel like a betrayal. The Inquisitor can say Fynn would want Maria to be happy and Maria will say that they’re right, but she needs some time. After the first foray into the Crossroads, Maria can be approached again and will say yes. This cues a private marriage ceremony. 

As the anchor worsens, Maria begs the Inquisitor not to leave her and says she can’t bear to be left alone again. The Inquisitor can promise to keep fighting or offer Maria comfort. The epilogue reveals a romanced Maria and the Inquisitor finally go visit Maria’s family in Ostwick and that Maria reforms the Ostwick Carta as a shadow organization to serve the Inquisitor in their quest to stop Solas (which she greatly approves of) or redeem Solas (which she’s much more wary of.) 

If Maria and Varric started a romance: 

Maria can be found near Varric at the fountain and will reveal that she’s been in Kirkwall helping Varric. Bran will interrupt your first conversation by calling her “My lady, the Viscount’s Mistress,” which will cue a small meltdown from Maria. She tells the Inquisitor to ignore Bran. If asked, Maria will reveal there’s apparently a special title for the person fucking the Viscount in Kirkwall. She’s unhappy about it. She’ll also talk about how her family has moved to Kikwall and that Varric is having a hell of a time dealing with her sister and grandmother. 

Varric, while giving the Inquisitor their estate in Kirkwall, will say that Maria would love to have a friend in the city that doesn’t call her the Viscount’s Mistress. And then will advise the Inquisitor to never ever call Maria that if they know what’s good for them. The Inquisitor can ask Varric why they’re not married if she hates being his mistress so much. Varric simply sighs and says it’s complicated, but that they’re happy and he wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

An Elven servant brings the Inquisitor a note after the first foray into the Crossroads. This note reveals Maria is expecting a child. The next time the Inquisitor speaks to Maria, they’ll confront her with this information. Maria will attempt to deny it, then reveal the truth. She’s unsure how anyone would know since Varric doesn’t even know, the only people who do are her grandmother and sister. She’s not far along and wants to continue to fight. The Inquisitor can choose to allow this. If they do, Varric disapproves and Maria approves. If they do not, Maria disapproves and Varric approves. Maria is also removed as a party member the rest of the game, although she can still be spoken to. 

Either way, after the second foray into the Crossroads Maria will hint that her and Varric have gotten married by correcting Bran when he calls her the Viscount’s Mistress and saying that it’s not her title anymore. When the Inquisitor asks, she’ll say they can celebrate after and asks the Inquisitor to make sure Varric stays safe if she is no longer a party member. 

During the confrontation with Solas, he reveals that the servant was one of his spies and that he has been watching the Viscount’s Keep. When asked why, his answer varies depending If Solas has been romanced by the Inquisitor. If he has been, he will say that he would not see one of their friends hurt when they are vulnerable. If, however, he was not romanced by the Inquisitor he will tell them that he could not bear to see Varric and Maria hurt by the loss of a child in battle, hinting that he still has feelings from their time together in the Inquisition even if they were never acted upon. Solas indicates approval of keeping Maria out of the battle and disapproval of allowing her to stay. 

After the game, Maria and Varric return to Kirkwall and the epilogue mentions they have a baby girl together and that Maria is the most unique Viscountess Kirkwall has ever had. 

If Maria was not romanced and the romance with Varric did not trigger: 

She can be found in the gardens and it is revealed she is still with the Inquisition, although she is toying with the idea of reforming the Ostwick Carta under her terms. She expresses concern as the Inquisitor becomes more and more ill, which eventually turns to anger towards the rest of the Exalted Council. 

If Solas was romanced by the Inquisitor, Maria’s epilogue says that she returned to Ostwick and rebuilt the Carta there. An Inquisitor who is friendly with her uses them in their quest to stop Solas with Maria’s blessing. 

If Solas was not romanced by the Inquisitor, Maria suddenly vanishes when she returns to Ostwick without a trace. There’s no sign of her working among Solas’ people, however, and most people agree she would not join Solas. Her fate is ultimately a mystery. 

Combat comments

Kills an enemy

“I want that arrow back.” 

“Sod off!”

Low Health

“I’m fine, stop staring and help me kill these things!”

“Right. I need to sit down.”

Low Health (Companions)

(The Inquisitor) “If you go down, I quit.”

(The Inquisitor - if romanced) “You absolutely don’t get to die on me.” 

(Varric, romance not triggered) “Varric’s gotten quiet. Probably check on that.” 

(Varric, if romanced) “Varric! Varric, talk to me!” 

(Solas) “Solas is in trouble!” 

(Bull) “If Bull goes down I’m not gonna have any cover!” 

(Cole) “Stay away from Cole you bastards!” 

Location comments

Crestwood

“What do people even do out here for fun? I’d be bored to tears.” 

The Hissing Wastes

Maria: “Wish my grandmother could see these Dwarven tombs. She always said Orzammar was wrong. You can hear the Stone everywhere if you try hard enough.” 

Inquisitor: “Have you ever heard it?” 

Maria: “I’m not sure. But I know  Orzammar is wrong about us. I’m as much a dwarf as they are.” 

Storm Coast

“I’d like it here a whole lot more if it’d stop fucking raining.” 

The Deep Roads (Descent DLC) 

Maria: “I can hear it, you know.” 

Varric: “I don’t hear anything.” 

Maria: “I don’t think you’re trying very hard.” 

Varric: “You’re probably right, Princess.” 

Companion Banter: 

Varric: “You’ve gotta be the nicest Carta member I’ve ever met.” 

Maria: “That’s because I’m being paid really well.” 

Varric: “Sure, Princess. Don’t worry, I’ll keep my mouth shut.” 

Maria, laughing: “No you won’t.” 

xx

Maria: “Is it an act of protest?” 

Varric: “I haven’t even started protesting, but I’m about to. If the Inquisitor makes us climb one more mountain…” 

Maria: “Your beard. Or lack of beard, I suppose.” 

Varric: “It was distracting from my chest hair. It had to go.” 

xx

Varric: “I’ve been doing some research into the Ostwick Carta…” 

Maria: “Don’t.” 

Varric: “Too late. What are you doing? You could be running that gang. He’s a-” 

Maria: “If I wanted your opinion on my career, I’d ask for it.” 

Varric: “I know a thing about complicated partnerships, you know. I’m just worried.” 

Maria: “You’re not my father. Don’t act like you are.” 

xx

Maria: “Your shots keep veering left.” 

Varric, sighing: “If you ask to fiddle with Bianca’s cocking ring…” 

Maria: “I assumed it was cause you were staring at me.” 

Varric: “At that templar that almost took your head off.” 

Maria: “Uh huh. And the shots veering left were because of the cocking ring.” 

xx

Varric: “Speaking of staring… I can’t help but notice you’re a bit enamored.” 

Maria: “If you don’t want people to stare, you should do up your shirt.” 

Varric: “I absolutely want you to stare, Princess.” 

Maria: “I’ll remember that if I decide to stare.” 

xx

Solas: “I cannot help but notice that you seem fond of Mistress Cadash.”

Varric: “Spend a lot of time noticing Maria?” 

Solas: “She is difficult to miss.”

Varric: “Maybe you should tell her that next time she’s watching you paint.” 

xx

Solas: “You have a lovely voice.”

Maria: “Oh sweet Ancestors. Don’t tell me you were at the tavern too? Bull didn’t tell me what was in that drink and next thing I knew…” 

Solas: “I was above. With Cole. He said you sounded like magic. He was not wrong.” 

Maria: “I… thank you. You’re both full of it, but thanks.” 

Bull, if in party: “Smooth. Very smooth.” 

xx

Varric: “Here you go, Princess.” 

Maria: “A daisy?” 

Varric: “That’s no common daisy. That’s a fine Orlesian Marguerite.” 

Maria: “Very fancy. The Carta just calls them daisies.” 

Varric: “You deserve something a bit fancy.” 

Companion/Advisor comments about Maria Cadash: 

Josephine: “Mistress Cadash is quite good at cards. I’ve not had that much of a challenge since I was a young girl. Do not wager anything you would not care to lose.”

Leliana: “Maria Cadash is putting herself and her family at great danger to stay here. I wish I could believe it was more than self-interest, but I wonder if she’s not willing to die before returning to Ostwick. It… it is a bit sad, isn’t it?” 

Varric, romance not triggered: “Princess is a real Carta dwarf with a heart of gold. It’s probably going to get her killed someday. Carta isn’t kind to people like her.” 

Varric, romance triggered: “Thanks for helping me with Maria. I owe you one. It’s not always easy, we’ve got a lot of baggage. But it was time to start a new story, and I needed a muse who could kick my ass every time I start acting like an idiot.” 

Solas: “Maria Cadash is clever and curious. She’s wasted on the Carta. I suspect if you treat her well, she’ll be an ally to the Inquisition.” 

Solas if Maria is in a romance with Varric or the Inquisitor: “I believe she is happy. That is all that matters in the end. I hope she remains so.” 

Cole: “She locked it away. Couldn’t survive if she felt it. But she’s gone. A ghost. Everything haunts her. She doesn’t want to go back. You have to help her.”

Cole, if Maria is in a romance with the Inquisitor or Varric: “She thinks about how she buried him. Dirt in her fingers. Stone take him back. Ancestors guide him. Then she remembers she’s alive, and someone is waiting.” 

Trivia

Maria reveals throughout dialogue that she’s a fan of Varric’s books, except his romance serial, which she thinks is ridiculous. 

She can sing very well, but rarely does so. A romanced Maria (Varric or the Inquisitor) sings much more often than a non-romanced Maria. 

She has trouble sleeping and spends the nights she can’t watching Solas paint. She’s fallen asleep on his sofa multiple times. 

She is an expert marksman and a bit of a perfectionist. Any flaws in her technique have to be stamped out. 

If her and Varric are in a relationship, their daughter is named Marguerite after the daisies Varric used to give her. 

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

[cora-vizsla]

The Broken Jedi

Every Choice Has A Consequence

For those of you that are used to my writing, this story is a bit darker. I do have an authors note* if you’d like to read that first. If you have any questions about triggers feel free to message me and I'll be happy to let you know what may be coming up. <3

I was running as I laughed. There was something about being able to run freely that cleared my mind. It was one of my favorite things to do, even if I wasn’t very coordinated. The moon lit up the tall grass, but I knew that I would end up tripping and falling. I always did even when I was focused, and right then I was laughing too hard. I could hear the footsteps following me, which only made my laughing fit even worse. I turned my head back, which was a mistake, and I was falling to the ground. I caught myself with the force right before my face hit. I turned my head to the side as I heard a thump next to me. I pushed the grass down that was blocking my view and was instantly greeted by a smiling face.

“You need to learn to use the force more. You would be less likely to fall.”

I continued to laugh as I let myself fall down to the ground the rest of the way. I kept my face turned towards him, watching his face in the moonlight. He was still breathing heavy after out impromptu run. His raven hair was splayed out across the ground around him.

“I was being chased. Kind of hard to focus.”

His face became more serious as he rolled to his side to look at me.

“You could be chased during battle, Aurora.”

“Me? No.” I laughed. “I’ll always face my enemies. Square on. No running needed.”

The end of this memory was supposed to be him smiling and telling me that I was beautiful when I was stubborn. He then reached forward and gently brushed the hair out of my face as my cheeks flushed. Suddenly things started to change in a way that was new to me.

His eyes turned red and a sick smile spread. His energy turned sickly and wrong. I started to scramble away from him, unable to unlock my eyes from his.

“You’re wrong, Aurora. You will run, but I’ll catch you. And when I do...”

I tried to get up and run, but I felt his hand pull my ankle out from under me. He climbed on top of me, pinning me down.

“I’ll kill you.”

He growled it in my ear as I felt my sight go black. I let out a scream as the pain overwhelmed me.

The scream carried over into my consciousness, waking me up. I groaned as my muscles contracted from the effort of trying to jump. I wiggled my fingers trying to get some type of relief. The straps on my wrist were tight, but I was still able to wiggle a bit.

XXX

Every time I woke up, I made an effort to get the blood flowing. I didn’t think that I would be able to walk after being strapped down for so long, but I didn’t want to lose use of my extremities either. I lost track of the cycles that I was strapped to the damn table, but I wouldn’t ever give them the information they wanted. It didn’t matter how many beatings or torture they put me through.

I was almost thankful for the strap holding my head in place. It made my neck sore, but it meant that I couldn’t actually survey the damage done to me. They had droids, troopers and officers all in there trying to get information. I was sure that every bone in my body had been broken at some point.

I laid there focusing on the pain instead of how shaken up I was over the dreams. It had been at least fourteen cycles since anyone had been in to harm me, but that was when the dreams started. The dreams made it easy to remember the cycles, because they left me shaking. I couldn’t ever seem to forget them, and each one added onto the fatigue. I figured that was a new way to try to break me. My body didn’t matter to me. Pain didn’t phase me. I had learned at a very young age to work through the pain.

I was rubbish at working through my mental torment though.

The only thing that I could focus on was just how damn tired I was.

My eyes had started to flutter shut, despite my attempt to keep them open. It felt relieving to move what little parts of me that I could, but it also made me exhausted. My captors had hooked me up to tubes for nourishment and hydration. It kept me alive but weak enough that even if I found a way to get out of the straps, I wouldn’t make it very far.

“You are a particularly strong being, you know. Most of those we capture give up information within a few hours.”

I opened my eyes to see the red headed man that usually watched my beatings standing above me. I blinked and licked my chapped lips, trying to prepare to speak. It had been so long since anyone had spoken to me.

“I to-told you. I won’t tell you anything. I won't do anything you command either.”

“Hmm. Yes. You did say that.”

He crossed his arms behind his back and looked at me almost as if I were an experiment.

“Then why is it so surprising that I have yet to crack?”

“Oh, you have started. Our Supreme Leader has made sure of that.”

I let out a painful scoff as he moved down towards my feet.

“Only children are bothered by nightmares.”

“Ren seems to think the particular route that they will be using is going to work.”

“Ben has always underestimated me.”

He let out a laugh as he moved back to my side.

“Don’t let him hear you calling him that, child.”

I grit my teeth. The man staring at me couldn’t have been much older than myself. Probably born into a rich family and appointed as a leader because of his last name.

I resented him calling me a child.

“Ah, did I touch a nerve? Would you prefer I call you prisoner?”

“Yes.”

“Unfortunately, for you, I am not in the business of making you comfortable.”

“I can clearly see that by the straps digging into my skin. I mean I understand keeping a prisoner uncomfortable, but did you need to have your men strip me down first?”

“You are an obstinate little thing, aren’t you?” He grinned. “Some would find that endearing.”

“I am not one to find much endearing. Unless you wanted to answer all my questions right now. That may possibly be considered endearing.”

I let out a soft laugh and moved my eyes back up to the ceiling. “That is what I figured. I would wish you a good evening, but I doubt that will be possible.” “Thank you for the kind words.” I snarked.

I heard his footsteps as he walked out, leaving me alone again. I wiggled my body, wincing as the straps dug into my skin. I figured that the more I moved the tighter they got, but it was hard to not try to shift and move. Meditation had gotten me through the beginning, but I couldn’t afford to fall asleep anymore.

As I fought to keep my eyes open, all I could think about was just how damn tired I was.

I was tired of the straps digging into my skin. I was tired of the beatings and torture. I was tired of the masked man that used to be my rock standing by as I was ripped to pieces. I was tired of waiting to be saved.

I was honestly just tired of existing.

It didn’t matter though. I had to continue fighting. I had to keep pushing forward and holding strong. I had no idea what was going on in the rest of the universe, but I knew right then my purpose was to stay strong.

I just had to stay strong.

XXX

I was running as fast as possible as my chest heaved. It felt like I had been running forever. Normally running had been exhilarating for me, but I felt nothing but terror. I was tired of running, but the darkness following me kept me moving forward.

I ran down the hallway that seemed to stretch on forever. I pushed through the pain and my lungs that I was sure were literally on fire at that point. The further I ran, the more I noticed that there was a light up ahead. I pushed myself even harder, knowing that the light would always be able to fight the dark. Even if small battles were to be lost, the light would be my saving grace.

I felt a smile spread across my face as my body found its second wind. The darkness was falling back as I moved forward. The light was almost blinding as I got closer. I felt a laugh bubble out of my chest, out of relief. I started to slow, knowing that it was almost over. I wasn’t sure if it meant death or salvation, but anything was better than the black tendrils trying to pull me back.

I saw a hand reach out, finally, to help me the rest of the way. I reached out, letting joy wash through me as our fingertips touched. I blinked into the light, trying desperately to see my savior. I smiled as I tried to still move forward.

Suddenly, the hand gripped tightly onto my hand as I felt another grab my other wrist. I winced as the grip tightened onto me, crushing me. I cried out as I felt my bones start to bend.

“You thought you could get away from me so easily, Aurora? The light can’t save you. There is nothing but darkness.”

My heart sank as I heard the words come from his voice modulator. His towering frame came into view as he walked me back towards the tendrils that were now dancing around my ankles, getting tighter and tighter.

“Just give up. It’s so much less painful if you would just give up.”

“I can’t!”

He paused briefly before he pushed me back. I clawed in the air, desperately trying to hold onto him to stop my descent. I cried out in pain as the tendrils pulled me deeper and deeper. The dark was suffocating but all I could see was Kylo Ren watching me fall deeper.

Give in child. Just give in.

“I can’t! I won’t!”

The pain will stop as soon as you give in.

Before I could answer, the tendrils pushed into me deeper. I screamed out in pain, just wanting it to stop. I begged for it to stop but it just hurt more. The more I struggled the more it hurt.

XXX

I woke up to tears streaming down my face. My whole body was on fire and I could feel the blood running down the now open cuts from the straps holding me down. I let the sobs wrack my body as I tried to calm myself down.

The nightmares had been relentless no matter how long I tried to stay awake. The moment I would let my eyes shut, I would be thrown head first into pain and torment. I was trying to stay strong but the exhaustion was finally getting to me.

I heard the door open and knew I should try to stop crying. The tears just kept streaming down my face as I stared up at the ceiling. The footsteps stopped as soon as they got close to me.

“Get her up.”

“Yes, Lord Ren.”

I felt the straps fall off me as the troopers released them. Sobs continued to escape me, no matter how hard I tried to stop them. I screamed out in pain as the troopers dragged me off the table. All the blood flow was returning to my body just as much as the cuts were being aggravated.

“Bring her to the Supreme Leader immediately.”

“Yes, Lord Ren.”

My hair fell in my face as they dragged me forward. I tried to move my feet to keep up, but I couldn’t get them to work.

“Supreme Leader wants to see her bleeding and naked?”

I turned my head to the side to see the ginger standing there next to Kylo Ren. I shuddered, having the memory of my nightmare flash through my head. I couldn’t shake the feeling of his hands crushing mine.

“She isn’t a doll, General Hux. She is a prisoner and will be treated as such.”

“Very well.”

The troopers dragged me down the hallway, pausing just long enough to let the Monster and General lead the way. I gave up trying to move my legs, opting to just let them drag me. We got to the door and I realized that we must have been moving slowly, because we were being waited on. I almost felt ashamed for being waited on, although it was their fault that I was in that condition to begin with.

The doors opened and Kylo Ren grabbed my arms, taking me from the troopers. I flinched, still reeling from the damn nightmare. I felt as if I were being dragged to hell by the creature all children were told to fear as they sat around a fire. As we moved forward, I heard Snokes laugh ring out into the room. I picked my head up as much as I could, though it wasn’t much to be proud of. He still looked just as hideous as I remembered, if that was even possible.

“Drop her there, apprentice.”

I crashed to the ground, barely able to catch myself with my hands and knees. My long hair was matted but still somehow fell around my face. My whole body was shaking with all of the effort I was putting forward.

“You walk among the living, Aurora! Well, barely I see.”

If I could have spit venom at that point, I would have.

“Are you feeling alright? You seem a little.. weak.” He sneered.

“I am.” I said quietly.

“You are what? Weak? Tired? How have your dreams been treating you?”

I forced myself to pick my head up to look him in the eyes as a sick smile spread across his face.

“Oh, if looks could kill. There is still so much fight left in you, child.”

I grit my teeth at the name. I was a fighter, and here I was reduced to nothing but a bleeding mess.

“Oh, dear Aurora. You came to me so strong and full of life. Now you look as if you’ve fought off an entire army. What happened to you?”

I grit my teeth, not wanting him to ever see me that weak. I felt tears sting my eyes from the pain and embarrassment. It wasn’t bad enough that I had been tortured, but now here I was absolutely exposed as well. I wondered what Master Skywalker would think of me, seeing me so low.

“He would think that you gave it your all. But I am sure that he would still ask for more of you. The Jedi never seemed to be understanding of pain and anguish. It’s always about their order and their code.”

I looked back up at him, letting the tears stream down my face. The salt stung the wounds, but it was honestly nothing in comparison to the shame I was feeling.

“I know it hurts. I know every part of your body is screaming in agony. You yearn for a bed and a good nights sleep. You wish you could smile and laugh again. You miss your darling Ben and the future you dreamed up.”

I dropped my head back down, afraid to look at him more. “I can give you proper food and a bed.”

“I need nothing from you.”

“Clothes? A shower?”

“And what price would I have to pay? How many innocents would I need to slaughter in your name?”

“Just do as you’re told. You do whatever Kylo Ren tells you to do. Renounce the Resistance, Master Skywalker and the Jedi. Submit yourself to your new master and the First Order.”

“You’re asking me to be a slave? To give in to the Dark side and be a slave to your.. your lap dog?”

“I’m telling you it’s how you will survive.”

I growled in frustration, trying to will my body to stand up.

“Think of it as being a guest here.”

“A guest with chains.”

“Our slaves live better lives than our prisoners. Aurora, anyone with an ounce of self-preservation would do what I am telling you to.”

“I won’t give you any information. That hasn’t changed.” “You don’t need to. You have other ways of being useful.”

He was promising me a shower, clothes and even a bed. Real food. I hated the fact that it even sounded remotely appealing.

“The nightmares will stop.”

“How can I believe anything you say to me?” I whispered.

“You don’t have any other choice. Either choose to go back to the table, or to a warm bed. It is your decision and you must live with the consequences.”

[landonkirbyappreciation]

Hi so I'm back with more thoughts/theories about Landon Kirby.

So this kinda bugged me a little bit idk if it bugged anyone else or not. But you know how we got a tiny bit of a backstory for Finch and a whole backstory for Cleo. Yet we still don't know anything about any other character in show(excluding Hope and the twins). We don't know how Jeb actived his wolf side. We don't know how Kaleb and MG became vampires. I mean they teased us about finding out how Kaleb became a vampire. But what bugged me a bit is the fact that we know more about Cleos past(a character who just showed up) than we do about Landons past(a main character who's been there since s1). The only things we know about his past is that he was in terrible foster homes and we only know two things that happened to him, that he was locked in a closet, probably more than once. And that he was burned with cigarettes. And that he was bullied. Other than that we know nothing about his past. We don't know where he was born, hell we don't even know when his birthday is. We don't know how he got his last name. Was it the last name of whoever found him? Was it just a random last name the government pick for him? We don't know how he got into music and sy/fy etc. I mean we're almost on s4 and still don't know anything about Landons past. And I think now would be the perfect time to give us more info on his past.

Which lead me to this theory/wish they'll do something like this. So you know how in s4 of TO when Hayley went into Elijahs mind. I'm think(and wish) they'll do something like that with Hope and Landon. Like Hope does a head dive into Landons mind to make sure he's still in there or maybe to see if he's in pain or something like that. Anyways she goes into his mind and she ends up in hallway filled with doors. Each door leads to a different memory. And that's how we'll learn more about his past and we can also see what Landon went through in s3.

But I also thought it would be fun if they did a twist on that. Like when Hope dives into Landons mind, she also ends up in malivores as well. Like one side of the hallway is Landons memories and the other side is malivores memories. So not only will we be learning more about Landon, we can also learn a little bit more about malivore as well.

Any thoughts???

Hi! Yeah, that bugs me as well. Like it’s great that we got to learn about Finch’s and Cleo’s backstories and see flashbacks of them, but why on earth have they not done anything for the rest of the characters??

Exactly, Finch and Cleo just got here and yet we know more about their pasts than we do about the main male characters after 3 seasons! They’ve had that long to show their backstories, so many opportunities, and they’ve done nothing. To the point that if they get into it now, at least with MG and Kaleb and Jed, it’s gonna be awkward because why did it take so long to find out? Although yeah, they did tease about it this last season, but still didn’t do anything. They literally had perfect opportunities too. Ethan and MG were talking about vampire stuff, and I seriously thought we were about to finally have MG explain how he became a vampire, and then they cut off the scene. It’s like a joke at this point. Same with Kaleb saying whatever vague thing he said (can’t exactly remember) about whoever turned him. Again, perfect opportunity to explain that, but no. And Jed is just there, with even less of a storyline than MG and Kaleb, despite also being a main, and of course we still know nothing about his past either or who he killed and how he triggered his werewolf curse. And so true, we still barely know anything about Landon’s past, just the basics, as well as Raf (I know he’s not on the show anymore, but still). All they’ve done for them is mention some stuff, just general ideas about how they were treated and abused. We got like a 5 second flashback of Landon in a closet, and we briefly saw Raf having that dream about his abusive foster parent. That’s it. And yet we didn’t have to wait long at all for an episode focusing on Finch’s backstory and another episode focusing on Cleo’s backstory, flashbacks included. I just... why?? I really don’t understand. I feel like season 1 should’ve been more about exploring and developing the characters and their backstories when they were first being introduced. But they got into all the monsters and the Malivore plotline so quickly and that became the priority, and it still is after all this time. They’ll put more effort into a monster that’ll be dead by the end of an episode than they have with characters that have been here for years. And that’s one of the reasons why the writing feels so weak at times imo.

And sorry to go off about that, but anyways, yes, there’s seriously so much about Landon we still don’t know! I wanna know the details of what his life was like growing up, and the extent of the abuse he went through because they’ve never gone into that much, like you said, besides him being locked in closets and burned with cigarettes. But ugh, yeah they can’t even tell us his birthday or where he was born. That was one of the questions Hope asked him in 1x05 and we still never found out, not even in the episode with Seylah. And I’ve wondered about his last name as well, though I’m guessing it was just random, but I still wanna know. And yes! I’ve thought about those things too! How did Landon get into all the movies and things that he loves while in foster care? How did he learn to play the guitar? And ikr! Like he’s the male lead! And we still know hardly anything about his past.

And I completely agree about now being the best time to show more about Landon’s past. They now have the perfect reason to go into his mind and show his memories. Oh yes, that same hallway of doors idea was talked about in a Handon Weekly episode too, and it’s crossed my mind as well, I’d love to see that. I’ve always thought that was such a cool way to show someone’s mind and all the different memories, so if they did that with Landon it would be so good! Though I do wonder if that was more specific to Elijah’s mind. And if Esther creating the red door maybe led to other doors within his mind being created to hold other memories? Idk, but either way, I’d absolutely love something like that with Landon. And for Hope to be going through his different memories, from his childhood, and also seeing what happened to him in the prison world, how he got possessed, what all has been happening since he got possessed, etc. But ooh that’s a cool idea about Hope being able to reach part of Malivore’s mind as well, it would make sense if she could. And yes, it would be a great way to learn more about Malivore, so that would be really interesting. Hopefully they do something like this, because Hope going into Landon’s mind to make sure he’s still there and to see what state he’s in and try to help him would be the obvious next step that she would take. And it would be such a natural way for them to show Landon’s memories, it would all make so much sense for the story at this point. But I can just see them wasting this opportunity tbh. It’s one of the things I’m most worried about in the coming episodes. And what also sucks is that it’s already been done, and we’ve still gotta wait like 2 more months to find out.

[sadselfhelp]

Who I Am, And Why I Created This Blog.

TRIGGER WARNINGS - Mental Illness, Self-Harm, Child Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Violence, Drug Overdose, Suicide, Psychotic Breaks. 

Take a walk with me, let me show you around the mind of The Sad Hatter.

There's a lot going on in my head right now, and I feel like I'm on the precipice of something. I'm standing on a cliff's edge and I'm either going to plummet or I'm going to fly. It's been building inside me for a long time, and I can't contain it anymore. So here it is, here's me laid bare, because I need to say this, I need to put it into words. I need to purge it all. To try and make sense of all of this shit in my brain, I think it's time I organize it. I don't know where to begin, but I guess I start at the beginning and make use of the ability to edit.

Before you read this, please be aware of the trigger warnings. And please understand that this is the most honest and open I have been, I really am stripped bare in this piece of writing. It’s not at all pretty, and am I not guiltless in parts. This may well alter whatever opinion you have of me. 

I guess the beginning is birth, right? But I don't want to rehash all that trauma, so let me speed through it. Twenty-Eight years ago I was born, violently. I'm serious, I ripped my way out of the womb, and tore that thing apart. I guess I can sort of understand why my mother couldn't love me after that was my first act, collapsing her womb. So let me speedrun this part of the story. Mum didn't want me, gave me to my dad who raised me as a single parent with the help of his parents, until he met my stepmother. Shockingly, she didn't want me either, but because she couldn't get rid of me she decided to physical and psychological torture was the next best thing. 

When I was eleven years old I snapped and didn't want to put up with it anymore, so I wrote a goodbye note and then snuck into the medicine cabinet and took a bunch of pills. Spoiler alert, I didn't die. I did however end up in a children's home, cue more abuse, little bit of bullying and sexual assault etc.... I snapped again, but instead of turning my anger inwards, I became an absolute bastard. Ok, I still turned it inwards a bit, I had a lot of anger, and now I have a few hundred scars to prove it. But, it turns out that violence can beget violence, and I acted out in every possible way. Racked up a horrifying rap sheet, assault, vandalism, arson, and finally... GBH. I was supposed to get put in a secure unit (child prison – Scottish Edition) but I was always able to talk myself out of trouble. 

See, I was this tiny little white girl with big sad eyes and a hell of a sob story, even at the bottom of the food chain I still had privilege. So instead of getting locked up, I just got sent to a different home. And here's the really messed up part, this home was better. The staff were nicer, and nobody hurt me. My behavior literally changed overnight. I went from being charged by the police on a weekly basis, to never getting so much as a pocket money sanction. I will never excuse my actions, nor condone them, but after years of guilt I finally realized that the bad things I did were in retaliation to a bad situation, and though I wasn’t acting like a good person, I’m not a bad person, just a messed up one. 

I still refused to go to school though, because though I didn't yet know it at the time, I had severe social anxiety. I was smart, a little too smart to be honest, and I found myself thriving with a private tutor. When the time came to sit my exams, someone fucked up, and despite having record breaking test scores on the pre-exams, I never actually got to sit my standard grades (think SAT's – Scottish Edition). I'm still bitter about that. So by this point in the story, I'm 16, and legally an adult, too old for a children's home. I got turfed to a hostel, and the next few parts of the story are pretty fuzzy to me. 

This is where my mental health really started to deteriorate. I bounced between homeless hostels and B&B's for a year or so, until I got a my first flat/apartment. By that point, I was utterly fucked in the head. I was blacking out frequently, for anywhere between a couple of minutes to three days. I would come back to myself in sometimes compromising positions, and once there was blood. A lot of blood, splashed all over the walls. Then there was the time I suddenly found myself standing in the kitchen, about to plunge a knife into my own chest.

Nobody ever did tell me what the hell that was about. Or maybe they did and I just... forgot? But because I was extremely suicidal, a doctor finally decided to do something, and the police and the paramedics came to my door to take me to the psychiatric hospital. I spent ten months there while I cycled through various anti-psychotics and anti-depressants, and was 'rehabilitated into society'. The second I was out, I made the worst decision I have ever made in my life. If I can give you one piece of advice, one lesson to take from my shitshow of a life, it's this: Don't move hundreds of miles away to be with the guy you met online while you were having a psychotic break.

I've never really thought of myself as a victim, but I guess I'm the only one who saw it that way. Ben, that was his name, Ben was a monster, and I didn't know it until it was too late. He never hit me, never lifted a hand to me, he never had to. He could put a knife in my hand and make me hurt myself for his entertainment. I had told him everything, so he knew exactly how to break me down, how to make me want to bleed. He locked me in a house and used me up. And when I had enough, and tried to break free of him, he would just tell the police I was mentally ill and they would smile sympathetically and give me back to him.

But then my dad had a breakdown. My dad, who when he found out what my stepmother was doing to me, buried his head in the sand and packed my little suitcase for me. I hadn't spoken to him in a while until he reached out from the same psychiatric ward I had not long vacated. He had cracked under the realization that I had never lied about her, and the guilt broke him apart. I could have hated him, if it had happened a few years earlier then I would have. But I had experienced enough of the world to learn a few things, like how easily it is to fuck up, and that no matter how strong you are, you aren't immune to monsters. The truth was he was as much a victim of her evil as I was. She had manipulated him, played with his head, used his insecurities against him. So I helped him through his issues, the way I wished someone had helped me. That doesn't really make me a good person, it just makes me human.

But my dad got better, and found his footing. And when he did, he realized something wasn't right with me, and I told him the truth about Ben. My dad had left me to suffer at the hands of an abuser once before, and he wasn't going to allow it to happen again. He came and got me, and he took me home. He moved me in with him, gave me his bed and slept on the couch. After a couple of months, he helped me get my own place.

And that's the happy ending, right? All the trauma was over, I was safe, that's where the story should end. Right? I bet you're not naive enough to believe that, but I sure as hell was. I thought I would recover and that everything would be ok. I thought that with safety, there would come the chance to heal. I thought my wounds would scab over, and I would have my scars but at least I would be able to move without bleeding out. But that's not how trauma works. I had two decades worth of trauma, abuse, and hell.

I just... faded. I didn't crack, I didn't crumble, I didn't break, I just stopped. For five years I sat in one room of my home, drowning inside myself. Last year I got handed a lifeline, and now I live somewhere better. I'm not really allowed to live independently so I actually live in kind of retirement village of all places. I have my own house, but it's got intercoms and emergency cords everywhere, I get checked on daily by on on-site worker. And I'm trying to get better, I really am. It's just not that easy.

There's more to the whole story that I maybe should have put in, like the fact that my mother was a drug addict when she was pregnant with me, and that may have been the reason some of my organs didn't properly form and/or formed wrong. My lung split in half when I was a baby, and parts of my stomach are missing. Or that my mother is full on batshit insane. I could have had a perfect childhood and I still would have been mentally ill. Hell, I was seeing psychologists at five years old. Take my sketchy genetics, add twenty years of severe traumas, and well... I'm a little fucked up. Because a lot of medical conditions use acronyms, my full list of diagnosis looks like I'm collecting the fucking alphabet.

I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and Agoraphobia. I also have a Pulmonary Sequestration, Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia, the stomach and lung issues. Immune Hemolytic Anemia, I'm basically allergic to my own blood. Plus, ya know, my liver recently decided to just fucking nope out, the pissy lil bitch is failing. I also may or may not have cancer, I don't know because I pussied out of the tests. At this point I am a walking, decaying corpse that is held together by glitter glue and bitterness.

So... why exactly am I writing this? And why am I even considering posting this? I mean, my problems aren't as bad as some other people's. We've all got shit to deal with, especially in 2020. The whole world is falling apart, so what right do I have to sit here pouting and pouring my problems out? Well, for a start, I guess this is my blog, I can post whatever, and it's up to everyone else if they read it.

So here it is, you have the backstory, so here's what it's all been leading up to.

I'm struggling. Like, really struggling. I'm stuck on this cliff, and I want off, any way I can. Whether I fall or fly, I just want free. I can't live like this anymore, because I can't breathe.

The fucking agonizing duality of being socially anxious and too easily overstimulated, and yet feeling fucking empty inside if you're not surrounded by action and noise. The world is too noisy for my brain, but my brain is too noisy for the world. I get antsy if I'm not doing at least a thousand different tasks, but I get overwhelmed if I try to do anything at all. It leads to short bursts of mania, followed by weeks of depression. But underneath all of that, under all the dramatic showboating, and the dark humor, under all the bravado... I'm really just sad.

Years ago, when I first came up with the moniker "The Sad Hatter", I said it was because I may be mad, but my madness was born of sadness. I'm just sad. I carry it with me where my heart should be. So I named myself Sad, and I put on the hat, and I wore my sadness like armor, turned it into an act, and made a spectacle of it. "I'm The Sad Hatter, and I'm mentally ill but that's alright, I'm going to be just fine!" I told you all I had my issues, and I'll come close to opening up about how bad those issues are, I'll give little chunks of information at intermittent intervals, and then two hours later I'll act like it never happened. I'll admit I was close to killing myself, and then two days later I'll post dog photo's and act like I'm all better.

I'm writing this because I'm sad. And tomorrow, I'll act like I'm not. But when I waver again, I'll come back here and I'll open up again. And along the way, maybe you're reading this and realizing you aren't alone in feeling overwhelmed. Maybe you're realizing you're not the only one who isn't healing neatly and in a timely manner. Maybe you're reading this and gaining some insight into the struggles someone you care about is facing. Maybe my opening up is can help somebody else, I really hope so, but I know it's helping one person. It's helping me.

This blog, it's about living with myself. It's about living with The Sad Hatter.

[halfrest]

* olivia holt, cis woman + she/her  | you know freya nilsen, right? they’re twenty-three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, most of her life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to suicide blonde by mallrat like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole falling asleep on crowded buses, nights spent anywhere but home, automated ‘to accept this call, press 3 now’ messages seemingly on loop thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is august 2nd, so they’re a leo, which is unsurprising, all things considered. 

pinterest.

death tw, drug use tw, postpartum depression tw / freya comes from a family that has plagued irving for years with their stunning reputation on both her father and mother’s side. death or jail was the common theme there. father, conrad ‘willie’ nilsen, was a menace and there was more than enough stories about him from his heyday. mother, holly koch, came from a family where everyone was constantly at each other’s throats. holly dealt with the drama of it all through defiance. she fell for willie hard and fast and was soon caught up in his world, drugs and petty crimes. as was common in both willie and holly’s familues, an accidental teenage pregnancy was the next step. at first, willie was ecstatic and supportive in the way that he usually got. holly moved out of her family’s place at delphinus creek and into a trailer with him at lilac ridge. of course, willie was flaky and asshole-ish and it only took him three months to disappear from town. a pregnant holly still caught up in love did her best during those months of pregnancy. she remained clean, worked to pay rent, and believed willie would be back any day. her younger sister, fiona, who adored and looked up to holly was there to help every step of the way. freya was eventually born and willie never showed up. holly fell into a deep postpartum depression and had to be moved back in home with her mother and her siblings. she couldn’t care for freya at all. a month and a half later, willie returned to irving and holly was ecstatic despite the initial abandonment. and soon after that, both of them were gone, leaving freya behind. / end tw

it’s not as if her parents suddenly disappeared from existence, although freya prefers to pretend that they did. it’s easier to deal with them as nondescript figures in her life. and, at the end of the day, they ditched her. in reality, collect calls from correctional facilities let her figure out that her dad’s been locked up. memories of a woman in youth that looked so much like her and so much like fiona proved that holly was still in and out in irving. freya also remembers that holly never acknowledged her as her own before disappearing once more. she never figured out if it was done purposefully or if it was because that’s just the way her mother functioned. that being said, all potential contact with either parent was short and brief and freya learned to not let it mean anything. there hasn’t been any substantial contact for years now either way. her dad’s in prison. her mother’s missing. 

freya grew up under the care of her grandmother at first, a bitter woman with a husband long dead, who resented having to look after this baby. that only lasted a handful of years ‘cause soon enough, she wasn’t fit and sent off to a nursing home. fiona, who was of age at that time, took guardianship of freya at lilac ridge or at whichever boyfriend’s home.

fiona raising freya was more of a weird friendship/sibling sort of relationship rather than a proxy mother-daughter one. that meant freya had too much freedom, but it also meant there were a lot of screaming matches between the pair and a lot of times freya was left directionless. her aunt also loved serial dating so there were a lot of strange men in and out. not the most reputable guys either, but truth be told those men were providing them with financial support, so fiona was never quick to let them go despite the way things would go sour.

very independent. freya has a lot of practical smarts, although most of the time it’s used for nothing good (knows how to shoplift without getting caught, can talk her way out of most things, knows how to get what from who). she’s someone who does what she wants. discipline is foreign to her and god forbid if anyone tries it. in typical teenage fashion, heightened by the fact that life was set up for her to fail, she’s always had this aura of apathy. her general approach to life is to accept it as it is but make sure she’s having as much fun as possible. of course, as most people do, there was an inkling of yearning there. the shiny gold possibility that she didn’t have to become another nilsen-koch irving deadbeat staple hung at the back of her mind. that she could possibly get out and have some dreams was encouraged by a few teachers. so she ended up trying as much as she could possibly try in her last few years of high school and proved to herself that she wasn’t completely useless. although, it was soon clear that getting into a good out-of-state college required more than just making an attempt — extracurriculars and money and other obvious yet non-obvious things that freya lacked. at the end of the day, her best option was a local college, which wasn’t a defeat by any means cause she had made it and it was college. still, she was stuck too close to irving. she decided to major in business. good at numbers and can talk the talk baby.

kind of always has her foot out the door though. it didn’t take long for freya to fall back into old habits because her life is her life. there’s always a lack of money, another toxic man fiona’s caught up with, another wrench thrown in the works. her education became spacey and full of cracks. she never made it to graduation, dropping out a few semesters in. unfortunate bc she’s the kind of person who could accomplish things if she cared or tried, but the problem is that she does not and no, she will not ask for help <3 she refuses to take anything seriously.

instead of school, she spent time on the road. she had it in her mind to visit her dad in prison in louisiana, not knowing really why she had that urge. maybe it was to properly meet him, ask about her mother, curse him out. but, she never ended up making it out there. instead she got caught up in a few things and with a few people and at the end of the day she once again just didn’t follow through.

now back at irving, freya’s at her usual job at cutie pie’s as a waitress (wanda has a soft spot for her thankfully so there’s always a place for her). she’s moved out of fiona’s place at delphinus heights, mostly bc freya was sick of dealing with her aunt’s disgusting boyfriends, and into the same trailer that was supposed to be willie and holly’s family home in lilac ridge. she found out that fiona had been making payments on the place, expecting holly to return at any time. from childhood, fiona had held her older sister in revere although frankly freya doesn’t get it. told her aunt off for wasting money like that, but still took the trailer off of fiona’s hands, so. shrugs my shoulders.

let’s plot so good everybody.........

[ransomedrogue]

okay so I finally made one of these to participate in the rewatch. just figuring it all out now that fic is finally ready to post. hopefully there will be a scene per episode but no promises!

###

Tales of Woe - Scenes from S1

1.1

She had finally had enough.

After dozens of questions and just one response, the nameless woman tore the sensors off her fingers and called the whole thing to a halt. She didn't know anything, yet she knew that this was pointless; and that she was done being a specimen, letting these people do whatever they wanted to her.

"I want to speak to someone in charge," she stated once more, more fiercely this time.

She felt better just having made the demand. And at least it made something happen; the man with the machine left and she was alone for awhile, her head full of the same sorts of questions the man had just asked.

Who was she?

What had happened to her?

Why the tattoos?

But she didn't have any answers other than the one she'd offered the man with the machine. Her mind was still a complete blank and the stark interrogation room just made the woman feel small and anxious about everything she didn't know.

She was clearly under suspicion but she didn't think she'd done anything wrong. Her only memories were a blur of being naked and yelled at, shaking under a thousand lights. Then there was the onslaught of tests, being dragged around like a rag doll as her brain tried to catch up to what was going on.

Finally, the door opened again and she looked up to see a different man walk in. This agent was bearded and a bit stern looking, but when he got closer she thought his blue eyes seemed sympathetic. Yet she still wondered what he was going to demand of her, if he was going to be as pointless as the last guy.

"I'm Special Agent Kurt Weller," he said. "I'm the lead agent on your case."

The memory-less woman felt a flash of satisfaction, realizing that her demand had been met. But that was quickly washed away by the flood of questions rushing through her mind.

She asked him the most important ones - if they knew what was going on, who she was. But, frustratingly, the agent didn't have any answers for her. Instead, he told her that they hadn't been able to identify her through any of the usual means, despite all the testing they had done.

The woman was disappointed but not surprised. Somehow she'd known that it wouldn't be that easy - someone had gone to a lot of trouble to do this to her.

She was surprised though, when the agent asked her if she recognized him. Especially because he seemed a little uncomfortable with the question himself; sounding as if he was unsure how to even ask it.

To her, the question was absurd. Hadn't she made it clear that she didn't know anything or anyone?

"I don't even recognize me," she replied.

That's when he dropped the first real bomb in her relatively short memory, causing a seismic shift in her understanding of the situation. Telling her that he might somehow be familiar to her, even though he didn't know her. Because his name was tattooed in large print across her back.

Even without much context or experience, she'd come to understand that the tattoos which covered her were not at all normal and a major part of whatever was happening to her. But all of the ones she'd examined were just random patterns and pictures. Nothing nearly as obvious as the huge letters stamped across her back.

The woman started to panic, questions and anxiety flooding through her. How could it be that she knew him well enough to have his name tattooed on her and he didn't know her at all?

But the agent had asked her to try to find some familiarity in him and he had asked kindly, without making it a demand. Which, at least, was different than anything that had happened since she woke up in a bag, without a single memory in her head.

She reached out cautiously, putting one hand on his, then lifting the other to his stubbled cheek. The idea of touching someone else, instead of being the one touched - even that was something new. The agent looked uncomfortable with the situation but let her continue her exploration of his features until her fingers drifted over his eyebrow and he finally flinched.

Disappointingly, her hands didn't know him anymore than her mind did. There was nothing but a total blank as he pulled her hand away, looking a bit embarrassed at having just been examined so intimately.

"Anything?" he asked.

She told him no and could tell that he wasn't surprised. Though he did still look a little flustered at what had passed between them and switched straight into Agent-mode when she asked what would happen to her next.

He said something about releasing photos of her to the media to try and gather tips about who she could be. Which was, even to her, pretty obviously the next step in trying to figure out her identity.

But she was starting to understand that there weren't likely to be any easy answers. Clearly, the agents weren't going to quickly identify her and bring her home to her family. Which then made her wonder what was going to happen to her now that the FBI finally seemed done with their questions. How long was she going to be stuck in that sterile room?

"No, that's not what I meant. I mean what happens right now? I don't have anywhere to go."

The agent looked surprised at her question, as if just realizing her situation. The nameless woman tried not to feel so vulnerable, even though she was completely reliant on people with unknown intentions. It was hard to hold it together though when she was so alone and adrift, without a single memory to tether herself to. Lost and detached from anything; born into a world of people that only seemed to see her as a dangerous commodity.

Suddenly she felt completely drained, both physically and emotionally exhausted from her nightmarish experience. She wanted to curl into a corner of the cold metal room and shut her eyes until someone could help her, tell her who she was. But she was at the mercy of this agent, with no idea what she was allowed to do in this strange existence.

Agent Weller gave her a worried look, as if he could feel her need bleeding through her words. Then he pulled out his phone and started sending typing some messages, groaning to himself as he received a response he clearly didn't like.

"We're working on finding you a place to stay but it's not going to be ready for another hour or two. I'm sorry ma'am, but you'll have to wait here until it's all set up."

The woman shuddered, hating the thought of being stuck in that room alone with her thoughts for another minute, let alone two hours. Her mind was a swirl of endless questions, the kind that led straight into despair. She wondered how to tell the agent that she was going to lose it if he left her there but then felt pathetic just thinking about admitting it.

The woman started to panic as she realized again how little control she had over her situation. The agent could leave her in that room for as long as he wanted to - she had no reason to trust what he said. Even though she wanted to believe he would help her, she'd also been quite irritated by the way the FBI had treated thus far.

But just as her thoughts began to spiral out of control, Agent Weller surprised her by reaching over and taking her hand in his. In fact, the agent seemed equally befuddled with his own action, frowning down at their enjoined hands before looking up at her in concern.

His next words were a miracle though, as if he were reading her thoughts. For the first time in her short memory she actually felt seen, despite all the previous examinations.

"Hey. Do you want to get out of here?"

Maybe she hadn't recognized him, maybe she never would. But he had understood her need and she was immensely grateful for that.

She needed something to hold onto. And maybe, just maybe, that something was the stern-but-gentle agent who was still nervously squeezing her hand.

###

His Jane Doe was about to lose it.

Even without knowing her at all, Agent Weller could easily see the anxiety take over her body after he told her about the delay in finding her accommodations. Which made a lot of sense as soon as he realized how long she'd already been in rooms just like that one, getting bombarded with tests and questions that she had no answers for. Not to mention the situation she found herself in - alone in an unfamiliar world with no memories or sense of self.

What didn't make any sense was the way Weller automatically reached for the mystery woman's hand, curling her fingers into his palm in an attempt to settle her. Despite her physical examination of him, there was no reason to think she would invite his touch. Also, it was most definitely not amongst his usual tactics. On the contrary, Weller was normally quite reserved with his manners, careful to maintain appropriate contact in all of his interactions, especially when it came to gorgeous victims in his cases.

But she was panicking and looked like she was about to crumble into herself. The terrified look on her face was breaking his heart and Weller suddenly realized that he'd just condemned her to more hours in that sterile room, with the intense lighting and distinct air of criminality. No wonder she looked so on edge, about to teeter into an emotional abyss.

Shit, he thought. He should have considered her prior experience before telling her she had to remain in interrogation like a prisoner. Not that there were a lot of options for what to do with her until the safe house was cleaned and ready. But he had to do something to resolve her obvious anxiety. Even if it meant breaking his usual rules.

"Hey. Do you want to get out of here?" he asked, the thought tumbling out of his mouth before it was even fully formed.

But any regrets about his impromptu offer were instantly pushed aside by the spark of hope his words elicited from the woman's troubled green eyes. She looked at him with a heady mixture of surprise and relief that filled his chest with sugary satisfaction.

"Where would we go?" she asked, still wary but already visibly calmer from his suggestion.

Damn, he hadn't exactly thought that far yet.

There certainly wasn't protocol for a situation like that, so Weller just did his best to think about what he would want after being cooped up in windowless rooms for an entire day.

"Outside?" he suggested. "We could go for a walk."

Her eyes flickered nervously again, then brightened with hope as she nodded shyly.

Weller felt extremely pleased with himself, far more than he should have been, as he led the tattooed woman out of the interrogation room and into the elevator. He really should have been formulating a good excuse for what he was doing but instead Weller just texted Mayfair a brief update that did not explain why he was personally escorting their asset outside the building until her safe house was ready.

The benefit of having a superior that trusts you, he thought wryly.

But then, more soberly, Weller reminded himself that he only held that trust because he never did stuff like that. He was always sure to play within the rules and, therefore, his word held a lot of weight with Mayfair.

Again he asked himself what the hell he was thinking. He'd known this woman for less than a half hour and his usual rock solid professional boundaries were already wavering.

But there she was, standing rigidly beside him in the elevator, chewing her lower lip nervously. Weller tried to convince himself that it was all just because she'd needed help and he was wired to protect. Though he'd done the job long enough to know that his near instantaneous attachment to this victim was more than that, something he'd never experienced before.

Inappropriate conduct Weller, he silently scolded himself, in a mock military academy tone.

But then the elevator reached the ground floor and Weller glanced over at the nameless woman, who was still obviously tense, her eyes flickering up at him hopefully. Quickly he shrugged off the mental reprimand; when he looked at her, there was no doubt in his mind that he was doing the right thing, even if it wasn't exactly consistent with protocol.

His thought was further confirmed as they approached the exit and she became visibly calmer, even offering him a tentative smile as he led her out the door, his arm hovering protectively behind her back. Then, when they stepped outside the building, she turned her eyes towards the street and took a deep breath in, wrinkling her nose a little at the odorous city air.

Weller grinned at the mixture of joy and relief on the woman's face as she stared wide-eyed at her surroundings; first taking in all the people on the street before looking up at the skyscrapers in awe. He let her just stand there and take it all in for a moment before gently directing her towards the closest green space he could think of, a small park in amongst the concrete jungle of lower Manhattan.

It was quiet in the park, as quiet as his Jane Doe. She hadn't said a word since they left the NYO, though her body language had gradually loosened up during the walk. Weller wondered what she was thinking about but held himself back from asking. He wanted to give her a chance to decompress after everything she'd just been through, not make her feel pressured to talk.

They reached the end of the grassy area and, again, he wasn't sure what to do. There was still a lot of time to kill before they needed to be back at the NYO.

"Do you want to sit? Or keep walking?" he asked.

It was just a simple question, but Weller hoped that offering her a choice would give her a small sense of control.

He watched her think for a moment, tilt her head just so. It was almost impossible not to stare at the bird tattoo on her neck, watch the way it moved with her skin.

Having your whole body tattooed against your will was such an invasion he couldn't even begin to imagine how she felt about it. But Weller also couldn't help thinking about how aesthetically eye-catching some of was.

AKA, fucking hot.

The thought came to him completely unbidden, forcing Weller to take his eyes off her skin as he chastised himself strongly. Learning to stay emotionally detached from victims in his cases was one of the first things he'd had to figure out as a rookie agent. Nowadays, he didn't have problems with that anymore, except in cases involving little girls. But the woman beside him was making his chest ache with her innocent vulnerability and all Kurt could do was tell himself to calm the hell down and keep things professional.

"Let's walk," she finally answered, shivering a little as the sun dropped behind a building.

Weller realized that he'd brought her out in just a tank top and immediately felt like a total idiot. He hadn't thought to grab her a jacket because he'd already been flustered with his own actions and it had been warm out when they left the NYO.

Plus, it was odd having to dress an adult, he figured. Though he still felt negligent for not having thought of it earlier.

Taking off his suit jacket, Weller draped it over the woman's bare shoulders and she flashed him another thankful look. Idly, he wondered if she appreciated more than just the warmth of his coat - if she'd been feeling too exposed in just her tattooed skin. Especially after already having been scrutinized for hours by strangers.

They continued walking away from the park and Weller kept having to remind himself not to stare. But now it wasn't the tattoos that kept tugging at his eye; he just felt drawn to the woman in a way he couldn't explain.

Obviously there was the mystery of his name in large letters on her back. That would be intriguing in any circumstance. But it was more than that - for instance, he was out walking with her instead of tending to all the things he should have been doing. Which was definitely not usual Kurt Weller behaviour. He was known as a workaholic for a reason and set the example for his team to follow. So he should be at his desk, finishing up the paperwork for that raid in Kentucky and then catching up on this tattoo case.

And yet, there he was, strolling the streets of lower Manhattan with a memoryless stranger and all Weller was sure of anymore was that he needed to protect her. He had no idea what had happened to her, what her future held. But he was going to figure it out and help her not look so lost.

Walking in silence seemed to help calm her so they kept going until they were almost at the water, at the tip of Manhattan. Then, when they couldn't walk any further, they stopped, looking out over the bay.

Weller looked at his Jane Doe as she stood there, seeming adrift in her thoughts. Which wasn't surprising of course. She had to have so much going on in her mind, all that wondering about who she was and why this was happening to her. And even though he felt like he should say something to break the quiet, Weller couldn't think of anything that didn't sound stupid or insensitive to what she was going through.

While he was still searching for the right words, she turned to him, her expression suddenly anxious again. Then an onslaught of questions poured out of her like an emotional dam in her had finally been broken.

"What if I never find out who I am? Why this happened to me?" she asked.

"What if I never remember anything? And I'm just stuck with these tattoos and no life and no one who knows me? What am I going to do?

She was getting visibly agitated again, biting down hard on her lower lip. Her eyes were wide and scared, begging him for an answer.

Weller had the oddest instinct to wrap his arms around her from behind, hold her until she calmed. But of course he didn't actually do that, would never behave that way with a complete stranger.

Briefly his mind flashed back to the interrogation room, the way he'd automatically taken her hand to help settle her panic. Flushing with embarrassment at his breach of etiquette and the tingle he felt even thinking back to it, Kurt reminded himself that she was the vulnerable victim of a crime and he had to be extremely careful not to abuse his position of power.

Still, he couldn't help but stand right up beside her, close enough that her shoulder touched up against his. Weller told himself it was just to ground her with some human contact and remind her that he was there with her. Yet immediately he again found himself yearning to put his arm around her, and again he had to vehemently tell himself no. And then, somehow, as if he had no control over what was happening, his arm was draped around her shoulders, completely disregarding everything in his usual moral code.

She tensed at his touch and Weller cursed himself silently for whatever had possessed him to do it. But when he started to take his arm away, she moved even closer and leaned up against him.

"No, please don't," she said.

Well that sold it. Weller replaced his arm on her shoulders, wrapping his hand around her right bicep. He noticed that she was strong, seemingly made of muscle, and he gave her a reassuring squeeze on the arm. Which won him an upward look and a timid grin that jabbed at his heart.

She still looked so lost and he didn't know what he could say to make anything better for her. But Weller knew that he had to at least try and alleviate her worries, make some sort of effort to show her how much he wanted to help. So he did his best to gather up some words, hoping that they didn't sound too trite.

"I know you feel very alone and scared about what's happening to you. But you're not alone, I'm here to help you. And I don't have any answers for you yet but I promise, if there's any way out there to figure out who you are, my team will find it."

His attempt at comfort was met with a furrowed brow and skeptical eyes. She obviously didn't completely believe him, yet she seemed content to stand much too close and Weller found himself rubbing her arm absently as she continued to study him carefully.

"You trust your team a lot," she finally said, in an unreadable tone.

"They're the best," Weller replied, with full confidence.

"Shouldn't you be with them? Figuring this all out?"

Weller froze. She was right, of course. He should be at the NYO, working on her case. Under no circumstance was his current behaviour appropriate.

Instantly he felt called out; completely exposed. The woman was looking at him with an unreadable expression, somewhere between a frown and a smirk. Part of him thought she was poking fun at him while the other part thought she was being seriously critical about his dedication to solving her case.

He was still speechless and trying to come up with a suitable answer when she surprised him yet again by edging further into him and tentatively resting her head against his shoulder.

"Don't look so worried. I was just kidding," she said.

"I know you didn't have to take me out here, I'm sure you have a million things to do. But thank you, this is exactly what I needed."

The look of gratefulness on her face was Kurt Weller fuel. He was a fixer; and at that moment there was absolutely nothing else he wanted to fix.

So, even if he hadn't found out anything about who she was, at least she was standing by the waterside, joking with him and no longer looking so terrified. In that way, he'd already won the day.

"I know I'm just another stranger but if there's anything you need I'm here for you," he said.

Again she didn't say anything for awhile, but seemed happy to just stand there, leaning against him. Then, just as he thought that she was done talking, she looked up at him with serious eyes.

"You're not a stranger. You're the lead agent on my case," she said thoughtfully.

"And we went for a walk together the day we met."

That earned her a full on grin, one that Kurt didn't see coming at at all. The firecracker that erupted in his chest from her comment was especially very unlike himself, far more emotional than he was used to feeling.

Which again told him that the situation was off, that he was acting bizarrely. But what was worse, he didn't care. Despite everything, Weller looked down at the woman in his arms and knew that he was exactly where he needed to be.