#also i just realized i turned one assignment in at 3am last night that probably doesnt help my case of assuring her that im fine.......

[yukinyaminyato]

the professor recognized me from her previous class today (i have two different courses taught by her) and came to ask me if i’m ok bc apparently i looked so tired (and kinda bored) ????? help 😭😭😭

[edxwin-elric]

Rooftop Kiss

Rating: T

Pairing: Todomomo/Todoroki x Yaoyorozu

Disclaimer: I don’t own My Hero Academia.

Word Count: 3k

Title: Rooftop Kiss

Description: Oneshot, fluff

Similar to the school festival, Class 1-A is in charge of hosting a school dance to allow students to destress and have some fun. However, Todoroki is dealing with unwanted input from Endeavor, and Yaoyorozu just can’t understand the logic behind having a dance right now. Both escape the planning to get some air and find each other alone on the roof, needing someone to talk to.

A/N: This is my piece for the  @todomomo-mini-bang-2020​ with Marls_Bars!!

 ffn || ao3

Art by Marls_Bars on Instagram

Shouto

I can’t believe the school is having us organize another recreational function. I mean, the school festival was fun, and I definitely think it brought everyone’s spirits up, but after everything we’ve been through this year? Shouldn’t we be focused more on training our quirks and doing more to dismantle the League of Villains?

“What do you think, Todoroki?”

“Hm?”

I turn toward the voice only to find Sero and Kaminari  holding up a hand painted rocket ship the size of a person.

“I thought the girls wanted a starry night theme.” I frown.

“They do,” Kaminari pipes up instantly. “But rocket ships fly through the stars, so I thought this would be a good idea.”

“Maybe you should run it by Hagakure first–”

My phone starts vibrating in my pocket, and I feel cold run down my spine.

“Hold on,” I mutter. “I have to take this.”

If I don’t answer it, he’ll only keep calling, and since I’d rather him not have called this time, that sounds like a nightmare.

“What do you want?” I ask into the phone, my voice sounding much cooler and controlled than I feel.

“Now, that’s no way to answer your phone.” His non-answer is filled with that threatening edge buried under false politeness. “I am your father, after all.”

“I’m actually in the middle of an important assignment, so if you just called to criticize my phone etiquette–”

He laughs over me, and my stomach twists. Why does everything have to be such a hassle with him?

“Of course not, Shouto, it was just a thought. I called because I want to go over your training schedule. I know your professors have their ideas, but I just can’t seem to let it go without reviewing their plans for you.”

“You mean without comparing and dismantling their plans?”

A bead of sweat drips down my left temple, and I swipe at it with my free hand. I’m frustrated enough as it is with this whole “school dance” thing we’re working on. I hardly need my dad stepping in to screw with my school work on top of it.

“You want to displace me as the number one hero, don’t you?” he asks, his voice darkening. “You want to be the top? If that’s the case, you’d be better off learning from me than from teachers who are required to train all of the future heroes. They don’t have your drive and goals and ambition in mind. Only your quirk.”

My hand balls into a fist and frost begins coating the outside of my jacket.

“I’ve already told you how I feel about your plan,” I remind him. “As much as I think I can learn from you, I also think my teachers have a lot of good insight. I’m going to continue following the curriculum laid out for me here for now.”

“Shouto.” The edge is sharper now.

“Please, don’t call me about this again. Goodbye, Dad.”

I end the call before he can lay into me again, barely resisting the urge to throw the device against a wall. I feel jittery and hot all over and like I need to freeze something or burn something. It’s so intense I think I might explode if I don’t—

“Todoroki, can you help us light some candles?” Uraraka calls from across the large room. “We want to see what they look like in these frosted jars.”

Releasing a slow breath, I feel control return to my body.

“Yeah, sure.” I start across the room toward the group of girls gathered around flowers and candles.

Maybe if I focus on the dance, I won’t have to think about Endeavor. At this point, anything is a welcome distraction.

Momo

After pulling on a large, comfy sleep shirt and some shorts, I hang my wet towel on a hook on my wall before sitting down on the edge of my bed where I begin brushing out my wet hair. I didn’t realize how helpful a hot shower could be on a day like this, but with all the party planning and decorations and the girls with their boy talk, I was feeling a little frazzled.

Just as I’m setting down my hairbrush, my phone dings with a text.

Ochako: Come to the lobby. The girls are having ice cream before curfew.

I start to text back a “sure thing, I’ll be right down” when I pause. If the girls are all together, it’s guaranteed the dance will come up as a topic of conversation, which means potential dates will follow it. The only girl with a date already is Jirou, who is going with Kaminari. (Of course, she hasn’t exactly said it, but I’m pretty sure she was the one who asked him.)

And it isn’t that I don’t want a date or that I mind hearing them talk about the boys. It’s just…there’s so much pressure to have feelings for someone and we’re in high school, and also there are other things I think we should be worrying about like our classes or our quirk training or the growing number of villains who would like to see us bloody and broken and are probably planning a new way to infiltrate the school while we’re deciding what flavor of cupcakes we should serve with the strawberry punch!

Boys just don’t seem all that important right now.

On the other hand, if I don’t go down for ice cream…they’ll probably just come up here. And talk about them then.

I sigh and send my original text back to Uraraka before grabbing a kimono and sliding into my slippers.

When I reach the lobby, Ashido is quick to scoot over on the couch to make room for me while Tsu hands me a bowl with two flavors of ice cream and a spoon.

“We have to remember to thank Todoroki,” Uraraka says as she adds a fresh scoop to her bowl.

“Why?” I glance between them.

“Oh, he froze the table so the ice cream wouldn’t melt,” Hagakure pipes up. “Then he went upstairs.”

“Has he asked anyone to the dance yet?”

I swallow my ice cream and fight the urge to groan.

“I don’t think so,” Ashido says conspiratorially. “Personally, I’d like Eijirou to ask me, though.”

“Aw! You two would be so cute together!” Uraraka squeals.

“Well, if his hair didn’t clash with your skin,” Jirou murmurs. “But that’s barely noticeable,” she says quickly.

“I like his hair,” Ashido sighs. “He looks so cool, and he has such a good heart too. He’ll be an amazing hero.”

“Do you have someone you’d like to go with, Tsu?” Hagakure angles her body toward our green-haired friend, and she looks down at her large hands.

“I have an idea,” she says, shrugging, “but he probably won’t ask me.”

“You can always ask him,” Ashido grins. “Right, Jirou?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Who is it?” Uraraka asks Tsu softly. “If you don’t mind saying.”

“Yeah,” I join in. “Maybe we can come up with a plan.”

I mean, even though boys are not at the forefront of my brain, I do like seeing people happy.

“I’d rather not discuss it really.”

“Oh, well that’s okay.”

No one pushes it, and it goes quiet for a minute before I notice Uraraka sneaking peaks at her phone and blushing.

“Is everything all right, Ochako?”

“What?” she gasps, her phone falling between her hip and the arm of the sofa. “I mean, yes. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

Well, that’s not suspicious.

“Who are you texting?” Ashido asks innocently.

“Nobody,” she blurts. “I mean, not nobody, but no one…important.”

“Oh my God, is it a boy?” Hagakure bounces on her seat. “Which one?”

“Who is it? Tell us!” Mina leans in.

“Fine, it’s…” Her face goes up in flames as she averts her eyes from everyone else’s, “Bakugou.”

Everyone stares at her for a second.

“Um…why?” I frown, breaking the silence. “What does he want?”

“I think…he’s my date?”

“What!” Ashido screeches, reaching for the dropped phone. “Let me see!”

“Bakugou on a date?” Jirou cocks an eyebrow. “That…can’t be right.”

“I don’t know!” Uraraka moans. “He’s being all cryptic, and… I could be reading this all wrong. Forget I said anything. The dance isn’t for another week anyway, and we should go to bed. We have class and more preparation stuff tomorrow.”

“She’s right,” I announce, standing up. “There’s plenty of other things we should be thinking about that aren’t boys.”

“But boys are so cute,” Ashido whines.

“They’ll still be cute tomorrow, Mina. Besides, it’s almost curfew anyway.”

“I guess you’re right.”

We take a few minutes to split up the ice cream for our individual freezers and then head to our rooms for the night. I’m relieved no one asked me if I had a date in mind. I have no idea what I would say. I think it would be fun if we all went together as a group. Then we could have fun with boys or just with each other.

I sigh as I climb under my sheets, resigning myself to sleep. These are things I can worry about tomorrow.

Shouto

“Todoroki? Todoroki!”

“Hm? What?” I blink and turn to the girls who are staring at me in between sharing looks with each other. “Sorry, what was that?”

I try not to yawn around my words. I got next to zero sleep last night because my father wouldn’t stop messaging me about his plans for my quirk training and pro career and…a few other things I really could’ve done without ever knowing about, much less reading in a text at 3am.

“Are you okay?” Ashido asks, giving me a reproachful look. “You seem a little out of it.”

“I’m fine,” I snap, immediately regretting it. “I mean, I’m just tired,” I mumble. “What did you need?”

“We were wondering if you could help us out with the refreshments for the dance. Since your frozen table worked so well for our ice cream party last night, we thought it would be a good idea to have fruit and drinks and maybe ice cream sandwiches on frozen platters or something like that.”

“Yeah,” I answer, my voice coming out as exhausted as I feel. “That sounds fine.”

“Do I need to coordinate with someone specific for that?”

“Oh, well, Yaoyorozu is in charge of the drinks and snacks,” Uraraka chimes in. “But…I’m not sure where she is right this minute.” She glances around, frowning. “Did any of you guys see where she went?”

“I asked if she had a date in mind,” Hagakure says softly. “She got all flustered and said she had to get some air. I really wasn’t sure how to take that.”

“Well, she’ll probably be back in a little bit.” Tsu turns to me. “You can just find her later.”

“Okay. Cool.” I nod and start to walk off, though I have no destination in mind.

My phone vibrates again, and I feel my hands ball into fists. It continues vibrating, and I clench my jaw, resisting the urge to answer just to hang up on him. That or melt my phone in my hand.

“You okay, Todoroki?” Midoriya steps into my red-tinted line of vision.

“I just…need a minute,” I bite out before turning and walking swiftly to the door and down the hall to the stairs.

Students aren’t really supposed to go up on the roof, but at this point, I need the quiet and the peacefulness enough to risk punishment. Taking the steps two at a time, I throw the rooftop door open with more force than is necessary, causing it to bang into the wall.

I pause when I hear a gasp, and look up to see I’m not alone. Yaoyorozu is standing near the edge of the roof, turned back toward the door with a look of surprise on her face.

“Shit,” I hiss under my breath.

“Todoroki,” she stammers, her hand coming up to her neck. “You scared me.”

“Sorry.” I shift my weight awkwardly. I mean, do I stay? I was trying to be alone. “I didn’t realize anyone else would be up here,” I continue.

“Me neither,” she sighs wistfully and turns her back to me, looking out over the campus.

“Is, um, everything okay?” I move closer to her, the door clicking shut behind me. “Hagakure said you were upset…because of a boy?”

Her face goes red, and I regret my words instantly.

“No,” she shakes her head. “I mean, she asked about my date, but I don’t have one, and I don’t really want one. I just…” She sighs and turns to face me. “I feel like this whole dance is just so risky. Like, I understood why the school festival was important—to raise everyone’s spirits and show the world we weren’t caving under pressure, but this is just…”

“A waste of time?”

“Exactly!” Her eyes widen. “I mean, shouldn’t we be focusing on training our quirks and studying, and getting as much hands-on experience under the supervision of the current pros as we can before we’re thrust out into a world full of villains who already have it out for us based solely on the fact we were students at UA?”

“Not to mention who our parents are,” I mutter.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just agree with you, that’s all.”

“It makes me so anxious,” she goes on softer, her hands coming up to rub her arms. “I haven’t been sleeping well, and if I think about it for too long I start to feel lightheaded and breathless… I thought I was going to start crying, actually, when Hagakure was talking to me earlier. That’s why I came up here.”

I swallow, and I reach up to rub the back of my neck.

“Have you, um, talked to Recovery Girl about any of this?”

She nods and takes a deep breath.

“She said it’s normal to experience anxiety after all the trauma we’ve been through. She mentioned medication and went over some breathing exercises and coping statements with me. I just wish… I wish everything would calm down.”

“I wish my father would calm down.”

“What?” She blinks and looks over at me.

“It’s not… My father has been harassing me about my quirk training,” I confess.

“He…probably just wants you to do well.”

I give her a small grin, and shake my head. “You’re too nice, you know that?”

“Well, what is it then?”

“My father…Endeavor,” I say acidly, “has my entire life planned out for me.” Down to the kind of quirk I should look for in a wife. As if I would ever do what he did. “No matter what I say to him, he’s convinced he’s going to take over my training and disregard anything he disagrees with that I’m learning at UA.”

“That’s ridiculous,” she whispers. “He’s really going to do that?”

“No,” I answer harshly, a fist forming at my side. “I refuse to be his puppet.” I sigh, and look at her directly. “I came to UA to learn how to use my quirk most effectively to be the best hero I can be, not just to show how powerful I am. I’m not like him.”

She nods, and I flinch when her hand touches my wrist.

“I know you’re not, Shouto,” she murmurs. “You have a kind heart.”

My fingers uncurl as hers slide down my palm, moving into the spaces between them. When I look down, her hand closes over mine, and I return the gesture without thinking.

“It’s getting dark,” she says softly. “The sun is almost down.”

“I hadn’t really noticed,” I murmur, my eyes still locked on our joined hands.

“We should probably go back in.”

She faces me, and my eyes jump up to hers. My stomach flips, and I feel pink heat my cheeks. Momo is really pretty. I noticed that the first time I saw her, I just…

“What is it?” she asks suddenly, pulling her hand out of mine. “Is there something on my face?” She reaches up to check, and I backtrack in a hurry.

“What? No,” I shake my head. “I, um, just, well…you said you didn’t want a date to the dance, and I wasn’t really planning on asking anyone either, so…what if we went together?”

“You…you’re asking me to the dance?” she echoes.

“Yes. If you want. Just…so you can tell the girls you have a date.”

“Oh, so…just as friends then?”

My stomach sinks with disappointment, and I shake my head again.

“Well, no, um…I mean, you don’t have to go with me if you don’t want to, of course. I just–”

“I would love to go with you,” she interrupts softly. “In fact, I have the perfect dress.”

“Oh, okay.” I start to turn away because my face is hot, and my hands are sweating, and…I feel like I’m using my fire quirk, except I’m not.

“It’s a date.”

I jerk when her lips brush my cheek, turning to watch her go as she starts past me. My hand shoots out automatically, grabbing hers and pulling her back to me.

“Todoroki? What are you?”

“Forgive me,” I murmur, my eyes fixed on her lips.

“What? Why–”

And then I’m kissing her.

Momo

I’m dreaming.

Because if I were actually and truly awake on a rooftop kissing Todoroki Shouto, my heart would stop beating, and I’d drop dead on the spot.

The kiss ends for a split second only for him to tilt his head a little and lean in again. This one is even better than before.

Wow, he tastes good. And his lips are soft. And…and…

This can’t be happening!

I push at his chest a little, and he instantly backs away.

“I’m sorry,” he rephrases his apology. “I just…needed to do that.”

I blink at him, one of my hands coming up to my lips, gently feeling them to make sure they’re real.

That I’m real.

That…this is all real and really happening.

“Yaoyorozu, are you okay?”

“That was beautiful,” I whisper.

Oh no. Am I going to cry? What is wrong with me!

“Well, um, good…” He nods, and shifts his weight, his hand fisting and unfisting at his sides. “We should probably–”

Suddenly, noise from the stairs catch our attention. Voices.

“They’re looking for us,” I murmur.

“We have to go,” he says, grabbing my hand. “If Bakugou catches us, we’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Or any of the girls,” I add.

“You have a point,” he says, pulling the door open. “What if instead of going to the dance, we bail and hide out in the dorm?”

“I…have to work the refreshments table,” I choke out at that unexpected proposal.

“Oh, well, I think I have to help you with that, so that works too, I guess.”

“I feel much calmer now,” I admit as we rush down the stairs. “Talking to you really helped.”

“It helped me too,” he mutters, his hand gently brushing the back of my waist. “And now I’m actually looking forward to this thing.”

“Yeah.” I grin. “Just don’t tell anyone I said that.”

“Your secret is safe with me.”

We hit the entrance to the great room, and we both go our separate ways.

But when I reach the other girls, my lips are still tingling. I just hope they can’t tell.

[deniigi]

What happens when Frank Castle meets Sam? Is there going to be an adoption war?

oh I have a scrap for this. hold on.

----------

It was his own fault.

He’d been lax. He’d come in after a night out for drinks with the gals and had been maybe a touch drunker than intended—but like. It was his solemn duty in the group to finish people’s drinks. That was his job. He was assigned it and everything since some of his friends were very good at buying drinks and even better at getting others bought for them that they could not finish.

So Sam was just lookin’ out for folks, you know?

Being chivalrous or something.

Or maybe the girls had just figured out that the drunker he was, the more likely he was to dance was them.

Actually, probably that.

He was certainly uncoordinated when he got home at what felt like 3am but what his phone seemed to think was 2.

He might have run into everything in the downstairs kitchen. Might have dropped his room keys twice. Might have started giggling when Tuesday came downstairs to try to help but just made him drop them again.

Only then did he realize that there was absence of noise upstairs and the lights were on.

Only then did he realize that people were judging him.

Whuh-oh.

“E’erything’s good,” he promised the staircase. “E’eryone got home. I’m home. Hiiiii.”

Upstairs did not resume making noise despite the light.

“Red, what the fuck?” Mr. Castle’s husky voice asked. “You just lettin’ randos live with you now?”

Sam didn’t need superhearing to hear Matt’s groan.

“He’s not—listen, tell Karen—”

“No, you tell Karen,” Mr. Castle snapped.

“Fine. I’ll tell Karen that I told her not to fuck with the Russians and so now her only option is Hawkeye,” Matt huffed. “In the meantime, you will get the fuck out of my house.”

Oh no, Karen. She was always doing something weird and wild. Dangerous was a box that had to be ticked for her to take a case, Sam was pretty sure.

“Teach, is Karen okay?” he slurred up the stairs.

Sudden silence.

“I thought you said he was a roommate,” Mr. Castle said dangerously.

“He is. Karen is our family; we are allowed to discuss our family, Francis,” Matt said.

“Who is he, Red?”

“A roommate, Guns-and-Roses. Get out.”

“Who you are close enough to to chat happy families? I don’t think so. Who is he?”

And just like that, Sam’s New York brain lit the fuck back up and he realized who was upstairs chattin’ with the old man.

He didn’t drop his keys this time.

He did, however, hush Tuesday when she tried to follow him in.

“Your damn dog ain’t that friendly Red, who is he?” Mr. Castle’s voice rumbled threateningly even though softly now, through the wall.

Sam flopped down onto the bed and decided that everything was fine. Everything was chill. No problems here, nope.

“WHAT.”

None, none, none.

No problems. He was going to sleep.

“Are you out of your mind, Red? Are you actually out of your—where is he—”

On the way to unconsciousness if Sam had anything to say about it.

“Frank, leave it,” Matt’s voice said dangerously over a commotion on the stairs.

“Hell no. You’re gonna get him killed. Does he even know what he’s signed up for? He’s like fourteen.”

Wow.

Rude.

Sam knew everything about his baby face, thanks, and fourteen was lowballing it by far.

He looked at least fifteen. Come on now.

He heard a weird noise outside his door and decided to bury himself under the comforters to pretend it wasn’t there.

“Frank,” Matt warned, only feet away now. “Drop this.”

“This is Spidey all over again,” Mr. Castle said. “All over again. That kid is permanently damaged, Red. He ain’t never coming back from the shit he’s seen. It’s a goddamn miracle he’s half as functional as he is. And you’re doing it again? You’re letting another one go through this?”

“Peter had every opportunity to leave,” Matt said. “I never—we never told him that he couldn’t leave.”

“You just don’t get it,” Mr. Castle said. “All these years and you don’t fuckin’ get it—you makin’ these kids feel special just makes ‘em cling harder to this shit. The harder the cling, the sooner they die. None of them are special, Red. You know it. Your teacher knew it. They’re made into something special.”

“Sam’s different.”

Sam’s heart turned all the way over in his chest. All the way. A full rotation that dropped his stomach while it was at it.

Mr. Castle said nothing for a long time.

“He’s not,” he said finally. “Don’t do this. You know better than this. Let him go. Scare him away. Do what you have to—I’m serious. It’s just gonna hurt you both in the—”

“Get. Out,” Matt said.

“You’re so fuckin’ stub—”

“Get the fuck out. Now. I’ll deal with Karen. Get the fuck out.”

Sam held his breath, listening hard for the sound of feet moving away from the door.

They didn’t come.

Oh, shit.

Things were about to get real.

“Where’s he from, Red?” Mr. Castle asked lowly.

“Leave,” Matt said.

“I’ll take him back. Where’d you find him? Won’t let nothin’ happen to him on the way, alright? Let’s be easy about this for once.”

“I’m going to say it one last time,” Matt said. “Get. Out. Now.”

Sam heard the step forward and the sound of Matt stepping back against the door. He threw off the covers.

 --

Mr. Castle clearly didn’t expect some half-pint Chinese brat with glowing eyes to slam out of the room and land a good one on his undefended solar plexus.

He stumbled back and Matt lunged forward to grab Sam before he could do any more damage. Sam hated when he did that. He always ended up tossed over a shoulder.

This time was no different.

First tossed over a shoulder, then dropped in bed. And then the door closed again in a flash.

“Upstairs,” Matt’s baritone ordered in the hall.

The room was pitch black.

“You want to talk? Fine. We’ll talk. Upstairs,” Matt repeated.

Tuesday whimpered.

“Fuckin’ same, girl,” Sam grumbled to her in the dark. “Can’t even defend my own honor apparently.”

“What the actual fuck was that?” Mr. Castle’s voice rasped.

Sam found that the sound made him proud.

“Someone different,” Matt said. “Your choice. Either upstairs or out.”

Sam was surprised when the footfalls turned around and sounded back up the stairs instead of to the door. He couldn’t hear Matt’s, but catching Matt’s footsteps was an art and not one that Sam was in the headspace to practice.

And he didn’t have to.

The door opened after a moment.

----------

(I also have a little snippet of a de-aged, baby Inimitable Sam with Frank which is very cute, but a little less relevant to this question lol)

Frank kind of misinterprets the relationship between Matt and Sam and thinks Matt is being selfish and reckless; he doesn’t really understand what Sam gets out of this relationship too.

Idk if Sam and Frank would get on very well honestly, anon. They are very different people with very different perspectives. I feel like Frank would spend a lot of time trying to save Sam from shit he doesn’t want to be saved from and there would be a lot of kicking and screaming and adamant refusals (on Sam’s part) to play the victim, which I’m not sure Frank would know how to deal with in the same way that Matt, who has had to play the victim his whole life and so really knows that frustration, does.

[emathews26]

Travel, arrival, first impressions

After a month (almost to the day) of waiting on flights, I was finally leaving for Japan. I would travel from San Diego to Seattle on Tuesday, then catch a military flight to Japan early Wednesday morning. 

Well, somewhere between the excitement of leaving and denial that it was actually happening, I totally misplanned how early to leave for the airport. We were pushing it a little close but probably would have been fine. Then halfway there I realized my uniform garment bag was still hanging in the apartment🤦‍♀️ . We dashed back and made it to the airport about 20min before my flight was leaving. Hoping to still make it, I checked in at the desk. That’s when my stomach really fell. Where was my wallet? 

My brain finally turned on at this point only to criticize: “What were you thinking!? You’ve waited a month for this flight and now you’re going to miss it. I hope you learn your lesson.” Very helpful, brain.

I did miss my flight. But thankfully there was another that evening and I was able to easily switch it. Amyra was a wonderful friend and brought my wallet then stayed to play a game of chess and pass some time with me. Overall, things turned out so much better than they could have. I was humbled and grateful. But hopefully that will be my only missed flight. 

The flight to Seattle was pleasant and uneventful. Lots of empty seats and beautiful views of the mountains.

Mom picked me up at the airport and we had a lovely dinner together: steak, garden green beans, and delicious homemade blackberry pie - thanks Adie! Then she dropped me off, we said our goodbyes (for the third time this month), and I went to find a cozy spot to snooze for the next couple hours. Side note, if you ever need to spend the night at SeaTac, there’s a great quiet area on the mezzanine level right above and behind the check in desks -- I had no idea it existed before.

The check in process started around 3am, though we didn’t board until 7:30. So there was plenty of time to get some breakfast and snag another nap. I felt so bad for the families with little kids. That waiting must have been tough. Eventually, we all boarded and were taxiing out before 9am. 

The plane itself was a Boeing 767. It was contracted by the military so all the passengers were either active duty military or dependents, but it felt very similar to a commercial flight. There were seven seats across with two aisles and we got two hot meals during the flight. Half the seats were empty due to COVID which gave us some much appreciated extra space.

I always thought once I was on the plane it would finally feel real. But I have to say, as I sat there it felt pretty anticlimactic. This was just another flight. A very long one. It wasn’t until I actually saw Japan that the excitement hit me. 

We made a couple stops on mainland Japan before heading down to Okinawa. My first thought of the mainland was how green everything was! Especially down in the southern part. It almost looked like the evergreen covered foothills of the Cascades. When we stepped off the plane, though, I was quickly reminded we were not in Washington by the blast of thick, warm air.

Flying into Okinawa just before sunset was incredible. The water! Like blue raspberry gatorade, and so clear. It honestly looked fake. I’ve heard people say that Okinawa is the Hawaii of Japan and I can certainly see why. I can’t wait to get out and do some snorkeling!

I was assigned a sponsor here (also a nurse at the Naval Hospital) who’s been very helpful the last few months getting things set up on this end. She met me at the airport and brought me to the living quarters where I’ll be in quarantine for two weeks. It’s basically a small furnished one bedroom apartment. Nothing fancy but she did a grocery run before I arrived so I have the necessities. Thankfully mom sent me with some watercolor paints so I’ll have something to do! 

Here’s a sunrise view from my window. Notice the strange looking cars. I guess the toaster look is popular here. I’m a week into quarantine today and surviving. My normal day looks something like this: an exercise video in the morning, connecting with friends and family in the States, breakfast, quiet time, then afternoon practicing Japanese, painting, working on blog, studying for driver’s test or napping, dinner, TV/movie, puzzle, and bed. 

The slowness of the schedule was pretty rough at first. But I think I’m starting to let go of the need to always have something to do. I’ve been able to appreciate the days more as a unique time of sabbath rest. Work is good but ultimately that’s not the truest thing I was made for. It’s a good reminder. Of course, I am still very excited to get out and explore when the time comes😊 .

I realize this has been a bit long-winded. My apologies. Future posts should have more pictures. But for now, my views are a little limited and your time is valuable. So, 

Blessings and Sayonara,

Elizabeth

[theshinobiway]

Hello there! Let me just start by saying I love the way you write. As someone who wants to publish one day, I find your style beautiful and inspiring. Now for my request, could you maybe write a scenario where Neji would end up falling for someone who is like his fanboy/fangirl? Kinda like the Sakura to his Sasuke if that makes sense. So sorry if it doesn't. Whether or not you choose to acknowledge this request, I hope you have a lovely day/night and please keep writing my fellow Neji lover ♥️

             Okay first off,

May or may not have gotten a little teary reading this. You have no idea how much hearing that actually inspires me to continue writing! I often look back at my own writing all the time and feel like it sounds pretentious or too try-hard-y but hearing that people actually find it beautiful is, well, incredibly touching and feels like awonderful accomplishment as a writer. I hope I can do your request justice!

On the prompt: This is actually a really sweet prompt that I’ve mused about before! I tried to keep the story as gender-neutral as possible since you specified both. I hope you don’t mind that I took some liberties with giving the reader some medical jutsu because it just flowed well with the story. Since my last two Neji prompts were a little heavy I tried to make this one fluffier, and I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for for contributing to the blog!

Also SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, LIFE HAPPENED BUT HERE I AM AT LIKE 3AM LOCAL TIME FINISHING THIS, ENJOY A 13K FIC AS MY APOLOGY.

Request Scenario – Neji Falling for his Fanboy/Fangirl

Neji Hyuga - Who You Are

“He’s so cool!”

“Woah, that technique!”

“He’s obviously a genius.”

“That guy didn’t stand a chance.”

            A boy with long, brown hair stood over another, sprawled on the ground. His fist was at his fallen opponent’s face, perfectly still. As he rose from his completed match, you were in awe at how fluid every movement from him was—even out of combat. Still, what was the most cool was how his face didn’t contort in some ridiculous jeer or stupid grin. No, he was completely assured of his victory from the beginning, and his expression was disciplined, collected.

You were taken from the start.

[…]

           Neji never paid any mind to any of the girls and boys that fawned over him in your class, let alone you. In fact, he was rather snarky and aggressive when they overstepped his wide boundaries. But you made sure that you stood out in ways that mattered. You remembered his birthdays, his favorites, and made especially sure to mind his preferences when he was around you, intentionally never getting on his nerves, and especially never speaking on his behalf as the other ‘fans’ did.

           It didn’t take a genius to see that he hated people speaking for him. You stayed silent, letting him speak, and when he asked you about your portion of a group activity, you gave him straightforward answers—but with a smile, of course. You didn’t expect special treatment from him, you merely knew that keeping your professionalism in a school atmosphere was the right thing to do.

           You knew that he knew you liked him, you made it clear when he asked you outright one day and he sneered at your answer. He was harsh, slamming you with a rejection to the confession he had intentionally solicited from you. You weren’t perturbed. He was rude, but it was his way. You told him it was what it was, and that you hoped he wouldn’t treat you any differently because of the answer—after all, you had always liked him, but most importantly you had always acted as you meant to. Neji raised a brow, but the vaguely disgusted look didn’t leave his face. It hurt, a bit, knowing this was a clear rejection, but you weren’t dissuaded. You meant what you had said.

           You still gave him gifts for the occasions, but not out of the blue—he hated that, too. When Valentine’s Day came around, you especially made sure to never make him anything sweet, knowing he hated sweets. When all of the other gifts ended up in the trash when he left the academy that day, you noticed you didn’t see yours. When his birthday came around, you made sure you had taken note of some concept you noticed him looking for in the library and bought him a book accordingly. You didn’t mind that he threw most of the things people got him away, but you quietly noted that you saw your book in his slightly ajar bag some days after, or that when he sat eating lunch alone in some place the others couldn’t get to, the (healthy) granola bars you had made him seemed to have made their way into his lunch.

           But you didn’t say anything. Because you knew that when Neji liked something, it was clear enough. And when he didn’t, it was just as clear—the other ‘fans’ just didn’t want to accept that forcing their way on him wasn’t the way to treat him, let alone anyone. You never wanted to force Neji to be what he wasn’t.

And, while he would never have admitted it to your face as an academy student, it was what made you at least bearable to be around.

[…]

“Hyuga Neji, Rock Lee, Tenten.”

           Your heart sank a bit knowing you wouldn’t be on the same team as the one you admired. Still, you couldn’t be bitter: it was a good choice for the composition. The other ‘fans’ of the Hyuga weren’t as forgiving.

“Seriously? Her of all the kunoichi?”

“Such an eyesore.”

“Watch her get a big head after this…”

“She had better not interfere.”

“Look at that grin, what a sk-“

“Shut up!”

           You slammed your fists on the table, and immediately the room silenced. The instructor announcing the teams turned to look at you as well, caught off-guard. You knew you had everyone’s attention, which was exactly what you wanted. If there was one thing you couldn’t stand, it was that mob-mentality bullying you had grown so accustomed to with the other “fans” of Neji.

“Tenten was the best choice for his team! She’s the best weapons user that’s probably ever been through this academy, so she’s the perfect choice! You all know exactly how skilled she is, so shame on all of you for talking trash about her just because of your petty jealousy!!” You huffed in the direction of the dissenters, already knowing exactly whom had been speaking. They hadn’t changed from the same girls in all the years at the academy.

           You knew of all the other fans after all, and they had gotten to know you quite well, which is why you were mildly surprised they had dared say anything around you. You never leveled with just how petty they could be. ‘And frankly,’ you thought, ‘being a bully had nothing to do with admiration!’

           You turned your head to Tenten who was shocked but sent you a small smile of gratitude. You knew the girl had thick skin—another reason she was likely on his team—but words could hurt. You shot her a thumbs-up and brushed your shoulder at her, and Tenten gladly returned the gesture. ‘Just brush it off.’ Lowering yourself back to your seat. The presenter clearly had no idea what to do with the situation, so he cleared this throat tentatively before continuing.

“Al..right…Next team, Team Four: Hitomi Tanaka…”

            You focused your eyes confidently ahead, ignoring most of the dirty looks that had been sent your way, but occasionally returning the glare if you saw one out of the corner of your eye. Most of them immediately turned their heads away so you could focus again.

           The one glance you didn’t see was from the root of the problem in question, who raised his brow at you and narrowed his eyes. He studied you for a moment, scrutinizing your every move, looking for some self-serving purpose. When he couldn’t find any—and he had never been able to—the corner of his mouth twitched ever so slightly before he turned his gaze ahead once more, lost in his own thoughts.

[…]

“(Y/n), You will be accompanying team Guy on this mission as the squad’s default medic-nin, providing additional aid and support where necessary.”

“Understood!” You chirped happily, letting your enthusiasm glow in full view. Tenten gave you a high five, glad that their first mission was with a familiar face—and you both trusted each other.

           It had been almost a year since your teams were assigned, and your abilities as a medic-nin had become more apparent with time. Because of this, you had been assigned to this mission to assist team Guy in their first solo venture without their sensei. It was a C-rank with a moderate chance for conflict, so you knew to be on your guard. But still, you had only seen Neji periodically since then—occasional joint training exercises with your own team, a mission or two with Tenten or Lee when Neji was occupied—you hadn’t had much time to get to talk to Neji, and you were excited at the chance to finally show him how much you had improved. Your admiration from him had hardly waned during the time of distance.

           This was to be your first mission with him, and you knew you were going to give it everything you had. You realized still that you wanted his approval more than anything.

[…]

“I want to help!”

“Then stay out of the way and do your job.” Neji’s voice cut deep, though you brushed off the pain. There was no worse feeling than the scorn of someone you admired so much.

“Just because I’m here as a medic-nin doesn’t mean I’m useless in combat!” you protested, but the glare from Neji the second you finished told you well enough to keep your mouth shut. He wasn’t going to budge, and you knew that much. If anything, he found it disrespectful that you were going against the squad leader’s—his—judgment call.

“You’re right, you’re not useless.” Neji’s voice perked you up. He was giving a compliment..? Suddenly you felt excited. This was what you always wanted. But, seeing his face filled with mockery, your expression fell immediately.

“You’re a burden. And, after this mission, I’ll consider myself lucky in that I will not see you again.” He turned on his heel, making his way to the front and in position, and your stomach dropped lower than it had probably ever been. Hearing those words from him almost made you want to cry. Tenten, who had seen the exchange from her position, gave you a pitying look from where she was. She symbolically brushed her shoulder at you.

‘Y/N, just brush it off. He’s just like that.’

           You shot her a half-hearted smile back and brushed your shoulder back in response, but his words were stuck replaying in your head. As you hid yourself, waiting for the encounter, you tried to gather as much courage as you could. This wasn’t the way you had always envisioned your first mission with your longtime crush. Maybe it was just you, but for some reason, Neji felt much colder than he had been even at the academy.

           As you heard the battle begin, you readied your weapon just in case. Then, when you heard Lee cry out, obviously injured, something within you lit like a torch and you couldn’t stay still. You never hid behind the scenes for your own teammates, let alone here in hostile territory. You had been preparing a new technique for months and you finally were confident in its use. Especially now. You heard unfamiliar footsteps thud towards you, the weight was too heavy to be a comrade. As you readied your technique, you were prepared to do your job the right way, even if it meant proving Neji wrong. For once, there were bigger things at stake than impressing your crush.

[…]

“I told you to stay put, and you disobeyed!” Neji raised his voice, something he never did. But despite your current victory, his pride appeared to be speaking on his behalf.

“I realize you gave an order. But given that it was a stupid order, I elected to ignore it!” The words fell out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. This was so uncharacteristic of you; going against the object of your affections, your squad leader, but as you worked tirelessly to heal Lee, halfway exhausted from the combat and the chakra exertions from your healing palm, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut. The irritation of what you knew could have been avoided was still currently draining precious chakra.

“You’re a medic-nin with no combat ability-“

“No combat ability?! I don’t think you know what that means, considering that my interference is the reason your comrades still have their organs intact and the mission didn’t carry on for another exhausting few days as we tracked them down again! Medic-Nin doesn’t mean walking-first-aid kit, Neji, it means I have a specialized skill set! And if your team—”

“If they failed their duties, then it’s not on you to interfere, it’s on-“

“YOU!” You finally raised your voice, barking back at Neji, who stood over you. His head jerked back and you saw the anger flash in his eyes, but you ceased your healing immediately to stand up and stare at him, eye-to-eye the best you could. Tenten pulled your shoulders back, trying desperately to deescalate the situation.

“You’re the squad leader, and for all the time I’ve ever spent admiring you in my whole life, you were absolutely the worst one I’ve ever seen! And, I’m not surprised after seeing the way you’ve talked to them this whole mission—and now me—it’s no wonder your teamwork is garbage! Who wants to work under someone like you?! Your pride comes before their well-being! I have no confidence in you as a leader to prioritize us, your teammates, and its clear your teammates are just as intimidated by you as they are the enemy!” You huffed, your fists balled and your knuckles turning white. “And you think that their failures are on them? No, you want to be the squad leader, you assume the responsibility—your team’s failures fall on you!”

           You saw Neji immediately move towards you and you felt the anger radiating off of him in waves. Tenten lurched forward in time to hold Neji back, separating the two of you, shouting at the both of you to calm down.

           The person you admired from the beginning, that anger that you saw in his eyes, the momentary snap of killing intent…was that really the person you admired for so long?

           The mission ended when you returned to the village, but Neji had given you the stern silent treatment ever since, and when you were dismissed from the assignment room, he had left without a word. You grimaced at the report he was likely to make about your insubordination, but Tenten gave you a knowing look.

“(Y/n), he isn’t the kind to be…that spiteful. If the mission was a success, he’ll want to focus on that. It was his first assignment as squad leader, after all…” You offered a small smile to Tenten and Lee, knowing they appreciated you sticking up for them.

“I hope so.. but in the future, you two… don’t let him talk to you like that anymore. He needs to learn to look after you all, too.”

“I think you’re right, (y/n). Don’t get me wrong, he’s actually better now still than he used to be, but…” Tenten looked off, exchanging looks with Lee, who nodded.

“Neji-san is improving day by day! My rival refuses to remain weak in any area, and so I know he’ll improve as a leader, too!” Lee gave you his trademark thumbs up and flash of teeth, and you giggled back.

“Well, even if I’m not on a team with you three from now on, I hope I’ll see you around!” Both nodded and you waved, bidding them goodbye on your way.

           As you walked home, though, the weight of your words bore down on you. You had never been that harsh with anyone in your life, let alone Neji, and you know there was a better way to handle it. You’d make things right. Because, after all, nothing ever would stop you from doing the right thing—not even Neji.

[…]

“We need to talk.”

           You weren’t the kind of person to let arguments set without resolution, so you had spent the better part of three weeks tracking him down and contemplating what to say. He was skilled at avoiding you—and you knew he was avoiding you, because that was just who he was—until you cornered him in a remote park.

“Leave.” His brows narrowed, teeth grit, and body tensed in agitation. He knew you had tried to find him, and he also knew how to avoid fans—he had been doing it for the better part of his life, anyhow. The only reason you caught up was because he had become sick of putting forth the effort to avoid you.

“You’re going to attack me? Since when were you ever a slave to any of your emotions, let alone anger?” You huffed, standing your ground. “You’re better than this. And I know you are. That’s why I’ve always admired you.”

           As you always seemed to, you caught him off-guard with your blunt confessions. Still, his steely-eyed approach didn’t waver. He let a small ‘hmph,’ obviously deeming you a non-threat, and returned to his cool demeanor.

“I’m not going to ask for forgiveness from you.”

“You don’t need to, I’ve forgiven you already whether you’re asking or not.” You crossed your arms, playfully returning his snark. Neji, after so many years, had weathered at least a little to your impenetrable wall of positivity.

“Oh? You’ve graciously forgiven me, I see?” Neji was sarcastic, but you knew him too well to pay it any mind.

“Yup, and you don’t have a choice about that. We all make bad calls, and I actually owe you an apology too.” Your demeanor softened as you finished until you paused meaningfully for a moment and sighed, letting your shoulders drop. You took a breath before making eye contact, letting him know you were serious. “You were under a lot of pressure for your first leadership mission, and I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I could have stated my concerns better. I’m not happy about the way I handled myself. Insubordination isn’t something to be proud of, either… I’m sorry, Neji.”

           Neji, despite you being the one apologizing, looked like you had punched him in the gut. You waved your hands at him, defensively.

“Hey hey, you know me. I’m not trying to be the better person here. You should know I say what I mean. I don’t care if you apologize officially or not, it’s water under the bridge now. I just want to make things right, whether we see each other in the future or not...though, hopefully...yes?”

           Neji shook his head, same expression on his face. There was a momentary silence between the two of you until he broke it.

“When I tell you to stay put, I mean it. I don’t take chances.” Neji looked off, monotone as always, hands on his hips. You quirked your brow at him, wondering if he had missed the point of all your protests on that mission. Until it hit you why he had commanded you to stay safe, and you blushed in realization.

           When Neji turned back to you, he caught your face a deep scarlet and was startled. He waved you off, grumbling about you taking it the wrong way. Still, you couldn’t help but giggle and followed him, hoping that this particular good mood would make him more agreeable to a proposal for lunch.

           It didn’t, but you were glad enough that you had made up with him. He coldly dismissed your offer and made his way off. Even then, he was sweet too… in his own way. He didn’t like you, but it seemed he wanted to assure your well-being, even if he could still cut you off at any time.

[…]

           When both Neji’s team and yours went through the Chunin exams a year and a half after you graduated, you were worried sick about…his predicament. Knowing what you did about the participants involved, you prayed he wouldn’t come to meet her during the exam.

           Your team had decided unanimously to go through, but the second exam was wreaking havoc on you. You lost your own scroll within the first day to a surprise assault, and now you had the task of finding not just one, but two scrolls. It seemed unlikely, until you noticed in the distance a team arguing over whether or not to open theirs preemptively. You caught the jump on them in their disoriented state right as they tried and your team’s well-timed ambush earned you an earth scroll and left them unaware. Not that you really had taken anything they wouldn’t have lost, anyway—there was a disqualification for breaking the rules of the exam.

           Still, you were worried you wouldn’t find the other scroll in time, and you definitely didn’t want to run into the team that stole yours again—you had barely escaped with your lives. By a stroke of luck, you ran into Neji’s team during the exam.

           They looked at you cautiously, but Neji was aware immediately that both teams held the same scroll, making a fight between the two of you pointless. That, and with Lee in a pitiful shape after his encounter with the sound-nin, your impulsive act of healing him—and disregarding conversation until you finished, you had a one-track mind on the matter—softened the situation. With Lee feeling better, you both drew up a temporary ally-ship. As a repayment for your medical services, Neji scouted two teams in the vicinity with heaven scrolls and you both planned out your assault. It was pointless to have two Konoha teams fight when allyship was far more lucrative.

           When you both finally made it to the tower with a day and a half to spare, you immediately learned that there were no on-duty medic-nin permitted to assist the passing participants. After having a few choice words with authority, you resolved to take care of both teams, using your chakra reserves carefully over the next few days to revitalize both your team—and Neji’s.

            When you finally got to Neji, he wasn’t as torn up as some of the team, though he did sustain a few nasty bruises from the second assault. The problem was that they were under his jacket…and his mesh armor.

“I-I need you to…” Gods, you couldn’t even say it. It was also fruitless to hold back your blush, but Neji narrowed his eyes at you.

“Work quickly, before the other teams catch on that we’re working together…and mind your manners.” He quickly unzipped the jacket and tugged off the armor as you stammered over something about ‘I just need to see the bruises to know what I’m dealing with’ and ‘what kind of person do you think I am?!’

           Now in full view of him, you couldn’t even bear to look. You took glances to see where the injuries were localized, but immediately averted your eyes when you began. Neji kept his gaze locked on you the whole time, and you weren’t sure if his stare was really meant as threatening as it came across. It was hard to process anything besides your chakra control. You’d never felt flustered about this sort of thing before, but he always made you notice these sorts of things, and right now it was simply embarrassing.

“Are you done?” His voice brought your attention back to reality. Neji glanced down, and you followed his line of sight. Your hand was solidly on his bicep, your healing quite finished. In your lost thoughts, you didn’t recognize you had stopped and your hand rested there…of its own accord, obviously.

           In all your training sessions for tactical withdrawal, you weren’t sure any of those recorded times came close to how fast you tore out of the room in that instant, yelping and stuttering a quick apology in your stupor towards the door. Neji, on the other hand, sat motionless on the bed, hands pulled into his lap, face solidified into a stern expression, and eyes locked on the door that slammed shut behind you as he waited for the slight tinge of color that had crept on his face to secede.

[…]

            The preliminary rounds were difficult, but you and another of your teammates managed to pull through the first round by the skin of your teeth. Your third wasn’t as lucky, and you made note to see him later, his injuries not so bad because he had surrendered in time. The rookie teams quickly made note of how you and team Guy knew each other, and at that point, the atmosphere between the leaf-nin was friendly enough to socialize comfortably. Lee was forming friendly, competitive bonds as well. It made sense, of course: even if this was an exam, you all fought for the same village.

           When Tenten’s round came, you were also shocked at how the sand-nin kunoichi quickly dealt with the girl you were barely on-par with. This filled you with a sense of dread for the upcoming fights. Still, you were concerned over your best friend, and took a small break to see her in the wing. When you came back, your eyes locked on the screen and your heart stopped.

           During the preliminary matches, your worst fears came true—Neji was to face his cousin from the main branch. And during, all the progress you had seen in him after the last year of working on his anger fell apart in those thirty minutes. You felt nothing but pity and sorrow for the girl trying her best, and you knew firsthand how words from Neji cut deep. She was just like you—she admired him, honestly, and you could feel the sense of loss from what once was a close sibling-like relationship.

           When Neji moved to kill her in the final act, you felt your legs jolt forward of their own accord before the Jounin were leagues ahead of you. When the orange-clad kid made an oath to get back at Neji, you were too lost in thought to process what was going on. You only hoped that if this kid would beat Neji—and you seriously doubted he would, because it was Neji—that some positive change would finally stick. Lee diplomatically handled the situation, telling the two to save it for the final matches, and you whispered words of praise for him when he returned to the balcony.

           Neji, on the other hand, caught immediately the look of abject disappointment on your face. Disappointment in him. But in true and prideful Neji fashion, he scoffed at you, deciding to ignore you for the rest of the rounds. You couldn’t read his eyes, but that was his intention after all.

           When Lee fell to the boy from the Sand, you experienced your second round of heartbreak that day. Once the matches concluded, you all but rushed to see him. He was being prepared for transport along with the other injured attendees to be transported out of the forest, but the medic-nin relayed his condition to you after you protested that you were his friend and a fellow medic-nin in training.

It wasn’t good.

           You leaned against the wall in the hallway, look of horror plastered over your face. You felt the tears begin to sting your eyes as the words from the medic in front of you passed over you and he left, the hall suddenly eerily quiet. You didn’t notice that someone had walked up to you and was speaking to you until a hand rose and snapped in front of your face.

           When you glanced over at Neji, jolted, his face impassive at your tear-stained cheeks.

“He’s not well, I take it?” The bite that was in Neji’s expression earlier was gone, but his voice held the same amount of emotion as always—none, perhaps with a hint of vague impatience.

           You managed to shake your head, tears threatening to spring anew. You hated having to be the one to break it to him, but today had been emotionally taxing. Your sorrow at Neji’s match was forgotten now, your attention focused on Lee.

“How bad?” He moved forward, but you caught his eye twitched as your expression worsened.

“He…his legs…they think they’re…” You couldn’t finish, your voice cracked, and you shook your head furiously, unable to say the words, the tears streaming down your face as you clutched your hands your face. You tried to regain your breath, to force the words out, but it wouldn’t come. You knew it was unprofessional, un-shinobi of you. But you couldn’t stop.

Neji also didn’t ask you to.

           You heard a sigh and a warm arm came around you, pulling you into a firm embrace. You almost gasped at the sudden contact, but your face was buried in his jacket. The part of you that always admired him would have been squealing with joy, but that wasn’t who you were right now. You clutched onto him for dear life, letting yourself cry and shake, Neji standing completely still to allow you to let it out.

“I’m going to make sure that kid from the sand knows…he’s made a terrible mistake.”

              That was enough for you to know. Neji was still the person you always admired. A year ago, he would never have moved on behalf of Lee. Now, Neji had his own resolve, one that didn’t take kindly to those who assaulted his precious teammates. You hadn’t seen the encounter in the forest with the sound-nin, but somehow you knew that had to have been similar to this fury…no, this was a deeper anger, one you felt as his fingertips unconsciously dug into you as he spoke. But Neji would need to be calculated for this match, because that Sand-nin, Gaara, had no qualms about killing. At all.

“Please.. be careful… that guy is…” You buried your face deeper into his jacket, unable to help the outpouring of your emotions, trying to pull yourself together. “Please, please be safe, Neji.”

“…I promise.”

[…]

            Neji had kept you busy during the month-long training period between the previous exams and the final. While you had your own match to prepare for, you both decided it would be best to train together along with Tenten. In addition, your opponent had been the particularly deadly nin that would have killed your teammate in the preliminaries had he not surrendered. This would be a difficult match.

           You weren’t completely sure, but you picked up a sense of urgency that Neji directed towards you during your training sessions. Neji was much stricter and harsher with his critique during your spars than previous session pre-exam, and he made sure to leave little room for error. You secretly hoped you wouldn’t need to face him in the final rounds, as both of you could already tell the inevitable outcome. If it weren’t for Tenten’s positive attitude, you might have been overwhelmed with how serious Neji was. He wasn’t going easy on either of you.

“How long were you neglecting your physical spars? You’re not going to heal the enemy to death. Get up.”

           After what seemed like the umpteenth time you had landed in the ground, your shoulders were crying out from the pain. Nevertheless, you groaned as you rolled over, drawing your elbows up under you in an attempt to push yourself up. One of your arms gave out midway and you tumbled back down, the side of your face hitting the ground as you winced.

“Is that all you’ve got?

“Ugh, I’m trying.”

“These exams have the fatality ban lifted, simply ‘trying’ is the last step before dying.”

           You cringed at the thought, admittingly not knowing what the outcome could be at this point either. Your opponent was able to secrete poison from his body in both a liquid-like substance as well as blowing poisonous gas from his mouth and nose. Close combat was pout of the question. Still, it didn’t hurt to be prepared.

“Neji, lighten up. (Y/N)’s team isn’t a taijutsu specialty like ours. They aren’t as focused on-“

“It doesn’t matter what their specialty is, Tenten.” Neji snapped back, startling the kunoichi. Despite being used to it, Neji’s calloused nature was never pleasant to experience.

“If you’re furious about something then we’re not the people to take it out on, Neji.” You snapped back on her behalf, finally regaining your balance on your feet.

“What did you say?”

“You’re taking something out on us! You never told us what happened when you returned to the compound aft-“

“Silence.” Neji’s voice had a dangerous uptick and something flashed behind his eyes that you really didn’t like. “My affairs are none of your concern, and….” His voice dropped multiple levels. “…clearly nothing did, or else you know I would not be standing here.” His voice dripped with acid, burning a painful hole in the conversation by the end. Both you and Tenten stood there awkwardly for a moment, exchanging glances.

“(Y/N) is…we’re just concerned, Neji.” Tenten covered for you, knowing where your heart was.

“If we’re going to sit here and talk about my feelings instead of train, then I’m off to be productive. Goodbye.” Neji scoffed, turning on his heel and made for a new training ground.

“Why do you walk away from everyone who cares about you?!” You blurted out suddenly, already regretting the decision, but also somehow possessed by the question that had been lingering in you for a long time.

           Normally, Neji never responded to taunts. And, he never needed to, he was far too self-assured. But this time, Neji’s feet halted immediately and his head snapped back at you in anger.

“Tenten, I need a moment.” You were still calm, giving Tenten a reassuring look before she acquiesced and left promptly, leaving you both alone for a time.

“Are you intent on getting on the very last nerve I possess? You clearly overestimate your importance, here. You’re a vapid and lovesick fan that had the sheer luck of being in proximity to me, but your healing was useful enough to keep you around. I was considerate enough to spar with you in exchange for your aid abilities, and now that I’ve shown a base amount of concern you decide to throw it back in my face?” Neji was immediately on the offensive, wasting no time once Tenten was out of sight. And oh, his words cut deep. The feeling of shame covered your face, knowing that was all he thought of you. He was the person you admired the most, and now he said everything he knew could hurt you.

“Of course I’m grateful, Neji, but it doesn’t mean I deserve to be treated like this. Tenten doesn’t deserve it, either. And I…I never asked you to care about me, so let’s get that straight!” You balled your fists and dared make eye contact with him, only a few feet away from you. “I’ve always admired you, I’ve always watched you succeed, and for good reason! You are a genius, and you know it! But even if I did, I’ve never asked anything of you that you shouldn’t have already done!”

Neji’s face gawked at you for a moment before blinking, thoroughly insulted. He must have imagined you were chastising him.

“No, you know you would never have gotten anything out of training with me, but yet you still…” You bit your lip. “You still asked me to come. Even if it’s just as shallow as not wanting me to die, that’s enough for me. I don’t want anything from you. I don’t! Have I ever asked? Have I ever demanded your attention, your time, or your concern?! I’m never going to do that, Neji! That’s not how I want to treat anyone, let alone someone I admire!” You breathed, still in disbelief that you were letting loose like this for the second time in your life. “You’ve always improved so far ahead of everyone, and now you care about your teammates and it shows, because I completely admire you as a leader, too. But this… it’s not painful because of the insults. I…we both could sit here and take it all day. Honestly, I think we’re just… too used to it by now.” You averted your eyes, Neji’s face deadlocked on yours, remaining unresponsive and silent, his brows narrowing.

“It hurts only because I’m seeing you suffer in silence. And it matters to me that you know you have people that want to look out for you…the same way you look out for all of us. I’m…we’re all not going to force you to open up, we just want to know how we can be there for you.” As you finished you noticed your voice growing weaker, the deadpan and harsh stare from Neji intimidating you. For a few moments, he was silent. He didn’t blink. And then, suddenly, he spoke.

“Get out of my sight.”

           You were shocked, the command so blunt as if he didn’t respond to anything you said. He wasn’t moving, but he expected you to. When you didn’t budge, still too overwhelmed in shock by his words, he stepped forward.

“Now.”

“No.” You said it, but you don’t know how in the world you managed, because when you did, Neji’s eyes widened in anger—the same sort of anger you saw during the exams, and you threw your hands up in front of you as though he were to attack. He didn’t move, but you saw his eyes flicker to your arms, and then you.

“I…you’re terrifying me right now, Neji…” Your voice shook, every fiber of your body telling you to get as far away from him as you could. Slowly, he advanced, posture straight, until he was uncomfortably close. You were deathly still, poised defensive.

           He suddenly leaned forward, and your foot flew out behind you, moving you further away. He did so once more, and you followed suit. Until you couldn’t move anymore, your back pressed against a tree, and his imposing figure with the darkest white eyes staring down at you, lips curled in a snarl. His looming figure blocked out the sunlight, casting a shadow over you.

“Where’s that bravery you had a few minutes ago, (y/n)?” His voice was soft, but no less menacing. In fact, the quiet inflection in his voice only heightened your sense of danger. You swallowed in reply, never taking your terrified eyes off of him. You felt hot, though not in the romantic sense you always anticipated when you daydreamed of him being as close as this. This was far more sinister.

“...It went with the person I admired.” 

          Mild shock painted his face, and suddenly he paused, the malice in his expression ebbing from his face.

“...You’ve been caught in a childish daydream for far too long.” He gave a subtle shake of his head, never letting his eyes leave you. “I’m not going to train with a child. You’re on your own after today. Whatever Tenten does after training with me is up to her.” He rose from his position, face eerily calm. He didn’t move away. Suddenly, you realized he wasn’t going to. Wanting nothing more than to be out of that situation, you slowly inched to the side and gave him a wide berth, hurrying out of the training area, leaving him as a lonesome figure in the field.

[…]

            You didn’t get a chance to speak with him until the exams, but you felt a sort of embarrassment as you stood near him in the lineup. The crowd had you feeling nervous, and the glare from your soon-to-be opponent was only succeeding in that you had already been feeling vulnerable even before you arrived. You had prepared something sufficient for him, but it was the following matches that had you concerned. Perhaps you would surrender when you could, after all.

           You were the second match following Neji and the one orange jumpsuit kid from the previous exam. It was likely to be a quick match, knowing the kid was a two-rate failure that would perform to expectations.

Oh, you were wrong.

           The match played out before your eyes in an unbelievable showdown. When Neji revealed his curse seal, you winced and clutched your hand over your heart from the combatant’s box. You had never seen it before but had heard of it in passing from Tenten and Lee. Hearing his past had all but wrenched your heart out, you never knew he suffered so much. This was the pain he had carried all his life.  the reminder of how you both had last spoken, the awe you always had of his impassible skill, and the fantastic fight put up by the boy called Naruto.

           All in the last few minutes of the match, when Neji had nearly been victorious…it all changed then. Naruto pulled a last-minute clever victory in an uproar, and Neji lay motionless on the ground. You found Tenten in the crowd who exchanged looks of shock with you, and she moved from her seat to go down to the medical wing. You couldn’t bear to do it yourself, though, and merely gave the Naruto a sideways glance as he returned to the competitor’s box.

Your own match was next.

           You had concern racing through your mind when you led yourself down to the field. You weren’t sure what the crowd thought of you—perhaps you were another filler match to them until their long-awaited Uchiha/Sand-nin match.

“You sure you ain’t giving up right now? If not I’m sure they offer shared rooms so you can see your friend…”

“Match Two, Begin.”

           When your eyes rose to meet him, the world didn’t matter. All that was ahead of you was a certain payback to one ninja that had bloodied your teammate.

“Yeah, now send my regards to both of yours.”

[…]

            The ambush came on suddenly from the stands, and your remaining teammate managed to awaken you just in time to see Neji and Tenten rush out of the area behind Hyuga elders, the sand and sound-nin in full assault upon the remaining jounin stationed in the arena. Knowing your techniques, though still in their novice stage, could mean the difference between life and death for those in the surrounding area, you took a stealthy approach, utilizing your scalpel technique from hidden corners of the arena.

            Your match had ended swiftly, the endurance training you had begun with Neji and continued with Tenten allowed you to counter your opponent’s close-range poison abilities. You were almost always out of range from his clouds of gas until you had lured him in close enough for a finishing blow. He began to laugh until you whipped around in the last moment and shoved a syringe into his artery.

           You had prepared an antidote to his poison—one you administered directly to him, and as the antidote flooded his veins his poisonous gases were neutralized. It was only a matter of time before his actual sub-par Taijutsu was overpowered by your swift movements and precise attacks with the Chakra Scalpel technique. You shoved yourself to the ground to lash out at his Achilles tendon, and rolled to avoid his weight as it came crashing down. Standing over his hunched form with your hand primed with another scalpel just out of reach of the vertebrae on his neck, the match was officially over.

           Now, the stray ninja that came after you shared the same fate. You worked to disable their mobility when you saw an opening, leaving the more experienced Jounin to finish them off.

           As soon as it had happened, it seemed that the ambush was over. Only a few hours had passed, but those that were caught surrendered, those that were against retreated. Knowing you still had one teammate in your sight with minimal injury and another in the rehab wing of the hospital—he had inhaled far too much poison had needed recurring checkups on his lungs—your thought wandered to Neji and Tenten, hoping they were safe. You didn’t have much time to think as soon you were ambushed by multiple shinobi needing your assistance.

           Even as a novice in the coming months, you were stretched thin by Konoha Crush’s aftermath. There were days without a break, and you dreamed of your bed often. On a few occasions, you had passed out from chakra exhaustion, only to stubbornly pick yourself up after a short period to gather what you could and continue. No one stopped you, knowing that your skillset was too valuable to protest.

           Tenten came by now and then, and you sighed in relief when she told you that Neji was safe and sound—in fact, things had been apparently better since the attack. She told you of their meeting in the medical wing and you smiled warmly, happy she had been there for him.

           She also mentioned that she heard of your match and had shared the story with Neji, and you burned red, nudging her in the side for putting you on the spot like that. She laughed in their characteristic way and let on that in her limited abilities to read of the Hyuga, she had never seen a look so close to ‘impressed’ cross his face as when he heard about it. Tenten gazed at you for a moment, acknowledging that even if he hadn’t come to see you since the exams, it was likely because he was embarrassed by his actions before. Not that he would admit it ever because it was Neji, but she advised that you should see him sometime.

           Though your schedule was full enough that in the coming months that any hope you had of seeing your longtime crush and admired one fell to the wayside. In the distance, though, one day in the marketplace as you tiredly picked out ingredients for dinner, pearl-colored eyes caught sight of you through the crowd of people, tracing your every movement and expression with relaxed lids that spoke guilt. As soon as they did, though, they seemed to be self-aware enough to force themselves away, retreating to a familiar road home.

[…]

           Sasuke had left the village, and Neji had been sent after. They were back now…in the hospital. This was the news that came to you as you returned your report to the desk.

           You had been gone on your own mission. Otherwise, Shikamaru later told you, he considered your medical abilities as a valuable backup for the team. You couldn’t rebuke Shikamaru, seeing the look of defeat that he was barely holding back. You comforted him the best you could, but you couldn’t stop the question that spilled from your lips.

“Where’s…Neji?” You looked at Shikamaru, hopeful, only to see the broken expression of the man who looked at you with nothing but guilt hanging from the corners of his eyes. He bit his lip, knowing you wouldn’t like his response.

“He’s…in critical care. They’ve been working on him for the last few hours.”

            Those words echoed like a shot through your heart, and you rushed off before Shikamaru could utter another word. The halls were a blur, your heart thrusting against your ribcage, threatening to make its way through your throat if upset further. You had been in the hospital many times before for supplemental training, and knew the intensive surgical room had a short observation deck above the area that was walled off with glass. It was utilized for students that sat in on procedures, but family members made their way above as well. This time, though, the area was barren and you held your breath.

‘Neji had a huge family, where were they? The room was still in use. Had they left already? Were they wrapping up the surgery? Had something gone wrong? Those rooms were only empty if it was done, or if..no, no, otherwise if they had…been led out…because of….’

            Your hand went up to stifle the gasp as you saw the extent of his injuries. The nin were still working, but there were two large perforations in his torso, clean punctures through. That he hadn’t bled out by now was a miracle.

            The seconds staring at his injuries were the longest of your life. Time would only resume as normal when a hand came upon your shoulder, and you saw the face of the new Hokage herself.

“Oh Good, I was wondering who I would need to assign to take care of this one when he leaves surgery.”

Tsunade let a sly grin slide onto her face, and at once your worries retreated back, though they hung off in the distance.

“Will he…?”

“Make a full recovery? You should know that these things are never a hundred percent certain.” Despite the partial warning, Tsunade didn’t retract her confident grin and chuckled. “…but it might raise a few percentage points or so if you keep an especially good eye on him after. I’ve heard you’re probably the only one who can, given how this one can get a bit of an attitude, right?”

          You sighed in relief, and you felt Tsunade pat your back as she returned to her duties.

“In the meantime, it’ll benefit you to keep watch over the procedure. You might be doing it yourself, one day.”

            When the surgery finally ended, you let out a breath that you may as well have held for the whole session. Tsunade had long since left, but you had been joined by Tenten, Lee, and your teammates. The observation room rejoiced, your cheers startling the doctors below for a moment until they smiled at the enthusiastic group above that had been waiting on their friend.

            You hardly left his bedside for the days following, gently tending to some of his care when the nurses were swamped with duties. Changing bandages was now second nature to you, as were the rotations. The others occasionally came by, but none of his family came.

            This went on for two days until a quiet presence made its way through the door. You had hardly slept, so you weren’t sure you had imagined it at first until a meek figure peeked out around the curtain. You recognized her immediately.

“Nii-san?”

“Not awake yet, but maybe your presence will do the trick.” You smiled at Hinata, knowing that her attendance meant they had indeed made reparations in the time since the exams.

           She stayed for a while, and you made small-talk. Hinata was a sweet, kind-hearted girl. She was bashful even in person, but soon your conversation fell to the wayside when Neji began to stir. You both silenced immediately and Hinata waved her hands at you in flustered urgency, and you checked for his vitals. As soon as he had begun moving, he stopped, slipping back into unconsciousness. This began to worry you. You gave Hinata what reassurance you could, but she was obviously shaken by the event.

“I told you he’d stir! Now you just need to come back until he wakes up all the way!” You flashed a grin at her and she managed a meek smile in response, nodding gently before bowing and excusing herself out of the room.

           You hoped she really would return, given that she was the only family to pay him a visit since.

           That night, you told the nurses about his activity and they put him on watch for the night, closely monitoring for any additional activity or abnormalities. You begged to stay until they finally relented, warning you not to let the hospital head find out about your presence outside of normal visiting hours—you weren’t immediate kin or his actual teammate, after all. Still, it meant another nurse could divert her attention to other patients for the evening, and for that she was grateful.

           You felt hopeful that evening, but as the night drew to its zenith and still no change in his condition, you began to get inside your own head. That lingering “what if…?” echoed louder than it had in the days before. You visibly shook your head, frustrated, planting your face in the bed near his arm as you leaned over in your chair, trying to focus on anything but your overwhelming anxiety about his condition. The prospect of losing him, though…wasn’t one you were sure an eternity could prepare you to grapple with. You had to keep hope.

           At some point, you must have dozed off into a feverish rest, your head still tilted onto the bed. As you dreamed, you felt as though you were walking with a heavy weight upon your head. You kept attempting to shake it off, to move around in every way you could, but it wouldn’t leave. It was almost as though you had a headache, and suddenly the weight began to bounce on top of your head. A constant pounding of an invisible force shook you in your dreamlike state, until you realized you were no longer in a dream.

“…(y/n).”

           Your groggy state let out a small groan as you attempted to move, your body stiff from being in an impractical position for so long.

“(y/n).”

That voice.

           You shot up immediately, stumbling a bit as your body had yet to catch up with your consciousness and your eyes shot straight for the brilliant opal eyes of Neji, peering through half-opened lids at you, his hand resting on yours.

           He was nearly feverish in this state, though he wasn’t flushed and you knew he had no temperature. Coming out of a coma was always a slow process, not a dramatic event that stories always made it seem. It dawned on you that the thumping had been his hand, still with limited mobility, trying to get your attention.

           You cursed yourself that this of all times had to be the moment you fell asleep, and you quickly got to work with checking his vitals and going through routine questions. You had to repeat many of your questions and keep them as simple as possible—he still seemed to be in a state of semi-consciousness—and checking for any discomfort, pain, or sign of undetected ailments. Neji slowly answered and his voice grew stronger as you went along, until he was finally able to ask one of his own.

“Where…How long..?”

“Four days total since your mission. Well, if you include tonight.” You were testing his collarbone, noting how he winced at the lightest touch. Pulling loose the gown’s shirt for a better view, the area was still closed but had an ugly, dark bruise that extended from just below his collar, over past the top of his shoulder, and midway through his upper chest. You compared the length of the bruising around his shoulder to the measurements took previous. It was slow, but they appeared to be decreasing in size and lightening in color.

“Please tell me you didn’t stay…this whole time.” Neji swallowed dryly, flicking his eyes from your hands that examined his bruising and back to your face that was concentrated on your routines.

“I can’t lie very well, you know that.” You smiled at him, gently checking for his pulse and scanning the monitors for his brainwave activity. It was slow, but that was normal. Satisfied that he was in no more pain than expected, you poured him a small glass of water, doubling back over your shoulder to check his painkiller levels, and sat next to him. He needed some faint assistance raising his head to drink, but you kept your motions as gentle as possible. His hand reached up to cover yours as it gripped the glass, but you weren’t confident he could hold it just yet.

           He groaned in pain, letting his head fall back on the bed in partial exhaustion. It was almost ironic how tired he was given that he had essentially slept for four days. Without thinking, you caressed the messy hair out of his face, and Neji, in his half-awake state, leaned into your touch, closing his eyes. Your face flushed instantly as you froze. With a confidence you didn’t know you possessed, you leaned forward to kiss his forehead and Neji blinked, looking back up at you with an expression you couldn’t read.

“I’m…just glad you’re safe. I didn’t know what to do when I found out, and…just…” You babbled, not even sure of what you were going to say, while he gazed back up at you, your thumb running over his cheek for a brief moment before you caught yourself and turned away, trying hard to contain the heavy feeling behind your eyes that attempted to spill out. You retracted, rubbing your face, taking a deep inhale before a weak hand covered yours as it rested on the bed.

“(y/n)…Thank you.”

[…]

           Neji was a little stubborn when it came to medical care, only insofar as Guy’s teachings made him habitually push himself beyond his limits. While the hole in his chest and abdomen had closed, the soreness from those areas was ever present. One thing many did not understand about healing jutsu wasn’t that it was an instant cure unless you were someone like Tsunade. It was a forced regrowth of cells, and those cells were delicate until they took time to completely weave together. The deeper the wound, the longer it took for the cells to settle. It was as if you had only placed tightly-woven mesh made from thin fibers over the wound. The fragile new skin could reopen and tear if not cared for properly.

“You need to take care of yourself! For being a genius, you’re so…just…ugh, wreckless sometimes!” You finished tying the bandage on his shoulder around the same time you finished your lecture.

           You weren’t really mad—and he knew, judging by your pouting face as you hurried your care of his arm—but you were very serious about him being careful. You caught a small smile from him as he sat in silence, letting you complete your work, admiring how talented you had become. As you got up and turned to put your things away, you heard him chuckle for a moment before he let out a small sigh.

“I’m not sure there’s anyone in this world that will care for me as you do.”

You paused at his words, your brows raising in confusion. “What do you mean by that?”

“What do you think?”

           That statement had so many interpretations and all of them were just as ‘Neji’ as the last; you couldn’t figure where to begin. You turned away for a brief moment, your face contorting in many comical expressions of confusion as you sputtered out syllables in an attempt to fathom some reply. It wasn’t working, you needed to know more. You turned to question him, but his back was to you, silhouette suddenly much further than you remembered as he left without so much as a glance back. “Whe- Hey! Neji!” But despite your attempts, he was gone before you had even finished.

           You clenched your fists and pouted. There he was again, leaving without even letting you respond. For being in recovery, he sure knew how to make a swift exit.

“Hey! Seriously! Quit walking off when you make statements like that!”

[…]

            As soon as Sasuke left the village, it seemed not long after Naruto had as well. The village was relatively quiet for the next years, and once Neji recovered you made sure to not let your schedule get in the way of seeing him again.

            He always seemed to play off your insistence at coming to see him, but you could tell by the way he didn’t protest he actively enjoyed your presence. One rare occasion you had to cancel training plans on him for a mission, you could have sworn his ensuing silence was actually his form of pouting, if Neji were ever capable of such a reaction. When you tested the waters and asked to reschedule for your return, he agreed far too quickly. This surprised you, and you teased him about it, much to his chagrin as he resorted to ‘stern and silent’ once more.

             He had been more open in the last years, and you spent hours--made hours--to dwell in long conversation that became as natural as breathing. You didn’t know Neji could be so talkative, but while deep in a meaningful exchange you always were in awe at the thoughtfulness that came from him. Though you had grown up a bit, that admiration from you never completely subsided. 

             Neji also had brought new, more personal topics on his own accord with you when appropriate. Sometimes they caught you off guard, though you were incredibly attentive to him. In fact, sometime after he had recovered from the mission and knew that you weren’t obligated to stay around, he caught your attention with a strange request.

“Can we speak after training today?”

“I…ah…sure, is there something on your mind?” You tilted your head, now swimming with ideas about what it could be. The inner part of you was dancing with joy, shouting ‘Confession! Confession! Confession!’ but your clearly rational side rebuffed that idea as best it could, knowing that while Neji was occasionally considerate towards you, you didn’t get the ‘crush’ vibe from him. Then again, Neji was someone who knew how to hide secrets from you.

“Yes, you could say that. It’s a conversation far overdue.” He nodded courteously and you scrutinized every motion he made, trying to get a sense for what it was. No indicator of a confession. As he was back on the field and his focus diverted, you tilted your mouth to the side, crossing your arms and thinking as hard as you could.

            By the end of training, you were ready to sprint a mile to run off the energy that had built from your anticipation. Leave it to Neji to make you impatient. As the others left, you stood around awkwardly, pretending to be occupied so they wouldn’t hang around too long out of suspicion. When you felt a familiar presence behind you, your heart kicked into overdrive as you spun around, nervous and fidgety.

“Are you alright?”

“Y-Yes! I’m fine! I just, uh…I just have no idea what it is!” You held your arms behind you and bouned on your heel for a moment, chastising yourself and telling you to focus. Neji eyed you in mild interest before he took a breath.

“I owe you an apology.”

            Your movements stilled and you observed his features. He was straightforward as ever, his hands balled into fists, and his voice only speaking words he meant.

“You know you’ve never owed me anything.” You smiled at him, tilting your head. This was endearing and uplifting all at once. He really had changed for the better thanks to that fateful match, and you saw the progress before you. He had been gentler, his quick anger replaced with a serene maturity. Neji gazed at you for a moment before briefly closing his eyes to think as he returned his honest gaze to you.

“You’ve always said that, but I wonder…if you really know what support like yours is worth. What it meant…even if I don’t owe you anything, you deserve to be treated accordingly. Being the way that I was, saying those calloused things to you, knowing I didn’t truly mean them and I was lashing out, I was unfair to you. And you’ve always been patient with—” You held your finger up to your lips with a soft smile, and he silenced midsentence.

“You’ve changed for the better in such a short time, and believe me, I can tell in your actions that you mean every word and gesture. I don’t dwell on the past. Knowing you’re trying to change from the person that you were then…is enough of an apology for me. I forgive you, and…I want to see more of that person.”

           You were beaming at him. Neji’s cheeks dusted the fainted shade of pink, betraying his forcefully placid expression. It was always so adorable to see him hold back when his feelings were strong. It was the rarest sight, but you committed every moment like this to memory.

“You know, Neji…my admiration of you still grows every day.” You confessed honestly, enjoying the fact that the shade on his face became slightly more prominent.

“What do you mean by that…?!” He nearly stuttered; something Neji never does, and your smile grew wider as you gracefully footed your way around him, making your way for the town.

“What do you think?” You teased as you called back in the distance, Neji startled and frozen at once as you disappeared off.

“Cheeky…” He grumbled with a tsk, moving ever so hurriedly—but calmly—after you.

[…]

            It was nearly two years since the exams and you had spent your time building your strength, training, fulfilling missions, and if you were lucky, shadowing Tsunade when she allowed. You weren’t her formal student, but you took after Shizune, finding your strength in poisons and antidotes. Your skills had followed as well, shaping you into a much stronger shinobi than you once were, giving you a modest reputation.

            The second wave of Chunin exams came and went, resulting in Neji’s promotion to Jounin and your own promotion to Chunin. When he told you, you couldn’t help but erupt in a bubbly cheer of joy and congratulations, throwing your arms around him and giving him an impulsive kiss on the cheek. Neji was never more flustered in his life, resembling Hinata more so than his usual self. He immediately went rigid and halted responding for a few moments after you broke away from your half-second action, and you waved your hand in front of his face to be sure he was still breathing. This all earned you a stern lecture when he maintained his composure, though as you grinned your way through it you could tell that his heart wasn’t really in it.

            News of Naruto’s return and the Kazekage’s kidnapping hit the village all at once, and you were concerned when you realized Neji’s team had been called after the S-rank assailants. You bit your lip when he bid you goodbye, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder before he went to meet his team. He was older now, and his face was well-defined with gentle angles that your eyes loved to trace, leading back to his beautiful, iridescent eyes. You couldn’t look at him right now though, only grumbling as you fidgeted with your medical pack.

“If you scare me again like that Sasuke mission, I swear…” You meant to warn him seriously, but the hope and confidence you always had in him won out over your fears.

            A soft hand suddenly thumbed over your cheek and under your eye, giving you a gentle but unexpected reassurance. Your eyes met and you blushed. Neji was never openly…like this. And you both weren’t…you know.

“I’m coming back. On my feet, this time. I promise.” His hand left your face as soon as it had reached for it, and Neji blinked, the softest of smiles on his face.

You crossed your arms, pouting, but relenting.

“If you don’t and you break your promise, know that I know the most efficient poisons to keep you alive but moderately uncomfortable.” You huffed; your threat not serious in the slightest.

Neji chuckled, turning on his heel and bidding you goodbye, and so you began the long days of wait for his return, your heart slowly disappearing in the distance.

[…]

           You settled next to him on the engawa, taking in for a moment the gracious view of his silhouette against the wooden walls and backdrop of the gardens, and the gentle, meditative look on his face. You made sure to leave an ample space between the two of you, not wanting to press on his boundaries, but no sooner had you sat down, he turned his head towards you. His eyes motioned you closer—how did he always do that with just a glace?—and you complied, containing your enthusiasm, scooting slightly closer to him before settling completely.

          Neji observed you for a moment, and you could feel his eyes tracing out the contours of your face. You blushed a bit as you always did under his observation, and he let a soft smile. He secretly enjoyed that he could make you react this way.

          You looked to a recent bandage on his shoulder, revealed only by the sleeveless kimono top he was wearing. You sat down almost reflexively to adjust it, keeping your eyes focused on rewrapping the cloth. ‘For all of his genius,’ you smiled to yourself, ‘he’s only somewhat proficient at appropriately wrapping injuries.’

          Still, what weighed on the two of you was the news of the impending war that was coming. Squad assignments were being given, and very soon you would be in the fight for your lives. It made it difficult to enjoy the quiet moments like these, knowing that this would be a distant memory when you were on the battlefield. You were both tense. And for each of you, concern painted every move you made with one another.

“The war seems to be coming, soon.” You shifted the silence to calm conversation, knowing it was best to speak sincerely from the start. Neji lowered his eyes, the small smile on his face in gratitude that starting the hard conversations was always your strong suit.

“It seems that way.” Neji didn’t seem dismissive, though. On the other hand, his tone told you he received and reflected your own concerns.

“I’m… worried.” You confessed.

“I’m sure, war is never a joyous occasion.”

“No, I mean…I’m worried. For you.”

           Neji blinked, seemingly lost in contemplation at your words.

“You always are, aren’t you?” It was less a question and more of a statement of realization, one that seemed to echo deeper within him.

           The air was still, save for the soft fluttering of wings as two birds settled on the branch in front of you, letting forth the occasional chirp to remind you of their presence. Neji was reminded, too. Of a question that had hung in his heart for a long time, one he had always been afraid to ask. Was it fear, of the answer, though? Or fear that the answer could change everything?

           Now, it was perhaps the only time to ask. He had to know.

“….Why have you always cared this much for me?”

           You blinked once, wondering if you had imagined him saying it. When you turned your head to look at Neji, he wasn’t looking at you. His brow was furrowed and his gaze downcast, he seemed lost in thought. You put your hands down from the newly wrapped bandage, settling them on your lap as you blinked once, twice at him.

“Because… it’s you.”

“…That’s it?” He turned and blinked at you in surprise, his face turning to slight confusion, moving each syllable over his tongue as if he was more unsure with each word. “You’ve always cared because I’m…me?”

           You couldn’t help but smile. It almost sounded like a shallow answer given your history, but as you reflected on it, it was succinct, simple, and honest.

“It’s all the reason I’ve ever needed.”  You shyly looked away, keeping your head turned towards him. “I don’t think any honest affections for someone are solely based on what they do for you. I’ve never wanted, never needed anything from you. It was never about cost, or return, because those are woefully capricious and complicated things. This feeling is simple and constant. It is as it has always been.”

           Your eyes returned to his, absorbed in yours, while the smile on your face grew of its own accord. “And you, just as you are, have always been enough for me.”

           There wasn’t a word to describe the emotions that passed through his eyes, though his outer face was still. As if of their own accord and without his knowledge, the corners of his mouth twitched, curling up as he couldn’t hold back the soft joy that grew in his chest. Returning to his upright position and painfully aware of the slight tinge of pink on his own face, he returned his gaze forward and away from your searching eyes to avoid further embarrassment. His furthest knee drew up and he rested his elbow upon it, burying the lower half of his face in his palm. Though when he heard your quiet giggle, you saw a small smile return to his face and his eyes temporarily flickered towards yours before returning ahead.

“What about you, then?” You slid a little closer to him, thoroughly enjoying his bashful repose. And he knew it too, from the way you saw him sternly (but not seriously) quirk a brow at you. He lifted his head from where it had been covered by the hand.

“What do you mean?”

“When…?” You pouted a bit, halfway expecting his responding silence. You knew better than to force him to espouse his feelings before he was ready. “I never knew you cared this way…until recently. After the last time we had this chance alone. But it’s no wonder I was drawn to you, you’ve always been admirable in every sense. But I have to ask…with you, why…me?” You leaned forward, but he didn’t move, didn’t avert his gaze ahead. With a few moments of lingering stillness after your response, you turned your head forward in resignation, letting it be.

           At least, you thought, you would enjoy the serenity of the garden with him, knowing that what had happened minutes before—the lack of rejection—was a confirmation in itself. The only sound came from the two birds you had seen earlier, both sitting upon the same branch, seemingly having a conversation of their own, a song shared between the two of them. You were almost in a meditative state until his unexpected answer broke through the silence.

“You’ve only ever been who you were.” You turned once more to him, giving him your full attention. His answer wasn’t what you expected, either, though it sounded similar to yours. He was oddly reminiscent about an answer that should have been in the present, until you realized that it all went further back than you knew. 

“…Regardless of my actions towards you. And for my younger self, that was surely no small feat of strength.” He sighed, the tinge of guilt hanging in the air.

“Still, our world as shinobi is cold, and yet the warmth from you was constant. We are required to be cruel, but to me, you were ever kind. We must lie, but you’re forever honest with me…even when I was wrong. We must rescind all of our attachments, but you…refused to let me feel alone…” His voice trailed off, the last few words barely audible. His words were carefully chosen—as expected of the composed Hyuga. He gazed at the sky for a moment, lost in his thoughts, searching for those last words that echoed once, twice, so many times through all the memories of your past together.

“It is as you said. It’s always been just you, as you were. How could I…have fallen for anyone but you?”

           A fluttering of wings took part of your response, as the two birds previously nestled in the tree in front of you took flight. In tandem, they soared. You heard this, but only part of it. As soon as your eyes locked once more, time spun forward, weaving you both finally as one.

           In an action that Neji would later recount as perhaps uncharacteristic for him, he gently, tentatively, leaned down to place a chaste and unsure kiss upon your lips, lingering hesitantly to feel your response. As you pressed back, you felt a small hum or gasp—somewhere between—as if he didn’t expect that the person who had loved him all this time would wholeheartedly return it. No matter how new it was for both of you, the passion was ever apparent in the warmth of your lips that entwined deeper still, one hand lacing with his. Gentle movements of his thumb sweeping over your cheek and caused your heart to resound firmly in your chest as you clutched onto his shirt with your other.

           It was surreal, feeling your lips move together in tentative caresses, letting the passions of the moment take precedence over the need for perfection. The motions of the kiss grew deeper in a turn that surprised both of you, and you felt his cheeks hot against yours. Both of you were embarrassed, but this felt so right, and clumsy as it was the closeness that you both desired but now finally had was intoxicating. His lips were soft and better than any of the hazy daydreams that you remembered from when you were young. As he drew away, his eyelashes barely covering his lidded eyes, you found yourself longing for them the moment they left.

           Not content to let him leave, you pressed your nose against his in an affectionate gesture before he went too far. He flinched at the contact, but such was Neji and not the feelings he held. He leaned forward once more, resting his forehead against yours, enjoying your warm presence, taking a second to inhale and catch his breath from the romantic exchange. At some point his other arm came around you to press you flush against him. His motions were so slow and subtle you hadn’t realized he moved until you where there, in an embrace that felt heavenly.

“This close is really…” You mused, enjoying the contact along with the new opportunity to poke fun at the all-too-serious man that held your heart.

           Of course, Neji was more likely to assume you meant otherwise and he pursed his lips in shock, relinquishing all contact immediately before you caught him, throwing both arms around his torso and snuggling up to his shoulder. He let out a small sound of surprise, his arms drawn halfway up in the air. “I’m teasing!” His eye twitched again before he chuckled at the genuinely adorable reaction from you, finally relaxing and resting his arms around you once more.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” He sighed, complaint as genuine as his half-hearted attempt at agitation. You winked and grinned at him. Neji merely hummed in reply, his hand gently caressing your back as his head rested on yours. You were the only part of the world that existed to him then, and it was all he longed for. It was a moment he knew he would never forget, finally letting himself truly feel the warmth of the one who had always been by his side.

[occhiolismatic]

Mafia! Tony

An anon asked me about my thoughts and contributions to Mafia! Tony, sooo here we go, and he’s a long boy, which is why I decided to make this a post rather than an answer. 

Hi, yes. I’ve seen all of the mafia au content going around, and I fuck with it mad hard. So I can most definitely see Tony as an east coast mafia leader with connections all across the nation, underground networks for weapons manufacturing, and certainly organized crime for profit off such artillery. He’s literally the godfather, the don, the OG when it comes to illegal activity; run ins with the law are nothing, and the Stark enterprise absolutely doesn’t back down from keeping men silent. More specifically, Tony doesn’t back down from keeping men silent. He’s worked too hard, put too much effort into the family to have it come crashing down, and, when he stumbles upon Peter, the innocent, young male whom of which accidentally winds up in the middle of a weapons exchange, that’s why he takes him in, makes him keep Tony’s little secret on the down low. Peter’s got nothing. He’s bullied in school, kicked to the curb like dust. He doesn’t have much to his name, and all of his relatives are missing or have assets in other parts of the world, all except for New York. Peter’s by himself, and one day he’s just not having the bullying anymore, so he stands up to the pinching, the hitting and spitting, the gum in his hair and all. He’s corned in the library bathroom after hours, probably out late to work on an assignment, but he’s also blocked by the four who constantly pester him, call him Penis Parker, flush his face and shove him around like a rag doll. Bruises scatter his body from last week’s beating, and after being kicked in the shin, he tumbles forward, throwing and landing a punch on the main bully.

After that, surely the guy would do the stereotypical palm touch over the lip to wipe off the newly drawn blood that spills. He’d be surprised by Peter’s newfound confidence, and then Peter would book it, run out of there, leave the building, his backpack half open and jacket flapping as he runs away. The bullies would follow after him, and Peter might look over his shoulder as he darts into traffic, the city lights overwhelming his eyes as they try to adjust to the dark, but his sneakers scuff on the pavement and he can’t run forever. Maybe he trips and crawls into an alleyway, perhaps he just rounds the corner, his back pressed against the brick wall or the other side of a trashcan and waits for the bullies to pass by. That or maybe the boys follow him into the alley and immediately scurry. They bolt out of there, and Peter thinks he did something right, that he scared them away or frightened them in some nonexistent astral plane, but he’s wrong. Peter doesn’t realize that he just so happened to have run into the wrong alley. Of course it happens to him, to Peter Parker of all people, that he walks right into the middle of a weapons exchange. So the boys leave, and Peter gathers his breath, legs heavy, and he goes to turn around, take the alley to the back just in case his tormentors are waiting for him on the sidewalk, and right as he opens his eyes, right after readjusting his backpack straps and mentally preparing himself to go home, that’s when he quite literally bumps into mafia boss Tony Stark.

His nose pats Tony’s suit jacket, all black of course, and he’s wearing sunglasses at night, y’know because it’s his brand, and Peter stumbles backwards, hands raised because holy fucking shit this is shady as fuck. He doesn’t know what’s happening, why there’s a really attractive man in expensive looking clothing standing in a rundown alleyway, not to mention he’s accompanied by a crew of at least 5 or 6 men, bulky and strong in build, all surrounding a decked out Escalade whose windows are tinted and trunk is open. In it, stacked on top of one another, are cases and cases of artillery, weapons, guns, bombs, anything you can image that can’t possibly be bought over the counter, it was there and could be sold under the market by Tony. So you know, Peter starts stammering, and he’s terrified.

“Uh-um-“ he says, smiling sheepishly, hand raising to scratch the back of his neck as he slowly backs away. He attempts to to go, but Tony snaps and a couple of his men move behind Peter, preventing the kid from leaving, stopping him from spilling any information about the exchange. And Tony just stares at him, shifting his weight and folding his arms across his chest. He chews on the insides of his mouth because damn, he can’t hurt a kid, but he also can’t let the boy leave. Yeah Tony utilizes violence and isn’t afraid of causing damage, taking lives or supplying others with the means to do so, but the boy is cute. Silence filling the atmosphere, head tilted to the side, Tony clicks his tongue before speaking, and when he does, Peter nearly flies from his skin: “You’re a pretty kid, and I’d really, really hate to bruise that fine face of yours.”

Peter sniffles and continues back tracking until one of Tony’s brutes lays a hand on his shoulder, forcing him forward, but of course Peter struggles and fights back, shrugging off the palm, kicking when another man comes for him as well, and Peter raises his voice all h-hey! get your hands off me, all the while Tony trails after him, taking strategic, slow steps with his hands buried in his pockets. So Peter’s freaking out because these men are holding him, and Tony doesn’t like the image, his crew handling the kid before him, and although it’s nice to watch the pretty boy scuffle, Tony cuts in, slapping the men off Peter, “That’s enough.”

Taking the boy’s face in his grip, pushing his cheeks in a little bit, Peter can’t deny that he’s slightly attracted to the older man, his scent, his cologne and physique, and at the same time, this man is the very man who, seconds ago, just referred to Peter as both pretty and fine. Peter probably pees himself a little when he is forced into eye contact, when Tony ducks his dark shades down just enough for Peter to catch a glimpse of his stern expression. Tony’s serious about this ordeal, about the business, and one kid isn’t about to tear it down by revealing any classified information to the public, to the police, the feds.

“I-I’m sorry- It just, I mean- I was just,” Peter points behind himself, leaning backwards away from Tony’s face, “It was an accident, I didn’t mean to-” and Tony absolutely wants to comment about how this kid isn’t the one they were waiting for, so obviously it was an accident, but he’s too captivated, enthralled by the markings and spots on Peter’s frail flesh, the product of physical bullying. He runs a thumb over the boy’s cheek, tongue protruding from his teeth, “You got a name, kid?” It’s unexpected. Peter swallows and nods uncontrollably, his arm absently grabbing onto Tony’s wrist. Now normally Tony wouldn’t let that slide, as evidenced by the jutting forward of his men at the sudden contact, but Tony shakes his head swiftly waves them off. “Well?” Tony demands, voice deep and raspy, waiting to know what to call the boy in his hands.

“I-I’m, I’m Peter.” 

And after that Peter is almost positive he’s going to be killed or kidnapped, never to see the light of day again, but Tony does the unexpected and lets the boy go. It doesn’t take long for them to have another run in though, and this time it’s with the bullies. Tony’s prancing the streets during the day, out and about on daily business, mafia related or not, and at that point it’s Tony who runs into Peter, only this time in a crowd full of people with the bullies attacking Peter’s helpless body. And Tony’s not stupid, he knew the first time that this kid had been running from oppressors, so he just rolls up to the curb, steps out of the car, and the boys are intimidated. He’s not alone, but he also isn’t anticipating Peter at the middle of the brawl. Though pained, he doesn’t have to shoo the boys away because they run like pussies, and Peter lays curled on the pavement, arms over his head and hands over his face because shit man, he was just getting the worst beating of his life. Peter crawls forward, and, if he hadn’t been winded before, he certainly becomes speechless when he peers up at the man from the other day. He doesn’t know his name, but the look in his eyes and the men forming behind him scream that it’s the same man, and Tony just looks at him with the smallest soft spot for Peter’s angelic, little face. Giving him no choice, he just blurts out, “Let me help you.” 

So Tony keeps the bullies away, and on multiple occasions Peter runs into the man. He still doesn’t know his name, until one day he cracks and asks. He asks what he does, why there were weapons, and more importantly, he asks for a name to call him by. Tony hesitates, because no pedestrian had ever been allowed to put two and two together, a name and a face with Tony’s, but he cracks and eventually says, “Stark, Tony Stark.”

AND. After that Peter starts pining after Tony. He thinks the man is the sexiest being in the world, and he wants to help him. He keeps his secret, promises not to tell anyone about his connections, and it gets to the point where Peter’s in such a low spot in his life that Tony brings the boy into the enterprise. He doesn’t have much power, and with his size he’s no crew member. He’s just an associate in the books, there in the administration in case Tony needs anything, and sometimes he’s the consigliere. Other times he dives into being an escort, well.. that’s the title he gives himself because it’s better than bootycall, but he’s only of use for Tony, available for him and him only, so Tony can call him up in the middle of the day or 3am on a school night, and Peter would come; he’d show up ready to emanate pleasure, to be a toy for Tony’s stressed out mind, a place for him to take out all his frustrations and anger. Yeah Tony would kill anyone if they even thought about placing a finger on his boy, but in bed he’d be so goddamn rough, he’d be the one tossing Peter like a rag dog, only he’d be doing it on his leaking cock, pounding the kid until he’s crying, until Tony’s sure someone else is listening, positive Peter belongs to Tony as his property. And Peter loves being owned, being a public possession of Tony’s. Tony is the only one who had ever called him by name, sexually or not, and that only adds to the feeling of being Tony Stark’s bitch.

Tony will come back from a night out in town, sit down in his go-to chair, and Peter will come out of no where, lay across his lap, straddle and give the older man a lap dance. He’ll grind down and out, run his hands along Tony’s chest and arms, and Tony will melt, kissing his boy’s neck and collarbones, groaning when Peter lowers himself onto his dick, touching the bulge building in his pants and breathlessly panting in Tony’s face. Peter would rub him down good, tease him just right, and then remove himself, get up and trot round the chair. There’d be a lot of tie and hair pulling, and don’t even think about the level of bdsm in this. Bondage? With Tony’s skillset would be so elegantly done. Peter would absolutely strip for Tony, ring a tie around his neck and pull him in close as the older man holds his tiny waist. Can I get Peter dropping low to the floor, wiggling his ass, taking his sweet time because he knows Tony loves to watch. Formal deals where the customer meets Tony in his office? And Peter sucks him off from under the desk, Tony forcing the kid’s head down when he senses hesitation stemming from nervousness. There would be a lot of skull fucking, steamy sex and rough kissing, but Tony actually cares for this boy. He would do anything to protect him, keep him safe from danger, and if Peter ever got hurt because of Tony’s name, he’d never forgive himself.

And when Peter asks his boss to get rid of a man bothering him, it’s almost hard to believe he’s the precious, bullied kid from the alleyway.

[myaekingheart]

I had just about the most fucked up night’s sleep last night, so of course my dumb ass had fucked up dreams to match. 

For context, I fell asleep at 8pm which never happens, woke back up around 11pm, tried to fall back asleep for an hour before realizing it was useless, tossed and turned in misery and boredom on my phone with my fiance backed up against me on one side and my cat backed up against me on the other so I had damn near no room whatsoever, and then ultimately passed out again around 3am, was half-awake around 8am-ish, and then didn’t actually wake up and get out of bed until almost 1pm. 

Yeah. I’m screaming, too.

I can’t remember at what point in my broken sleep that any of these dreams happened, or between which intervals of waking up, so we’re just going to run with it.

The first was that I was in what was meant to be David Bowie’s house. It was a huge house, but not exactly fancy. If anything, it was kind of basic. Kind of reminded me of a childhood friend’s house from kindergarten back in, like, 2002. So just imagine what an ideal big suburban house looked like in 2002 and you’re pretty much there. The most striking part of the house, however, was the staircase. It was really wide and angled with large platforms at each turn. About halfway up there was a tall wall against the front of the house with a massive window and a fat windowsill the perfect size to sit on (though that wasn’t the primary function). And all along the stairwell, straight on the walls, were paintings that David Bowie had done himself. He wasn’t a spectacularly talented painter or anything but the audacity of just painting straight onto the bare white walls of what was likely a very expensive house was super ballsy. I remember I was on one of the platforms of the staircase, laying in what looked like a very cheap, very low-to-the-ground wooden bed. Like envision a homemade doll bed out of planks of wood but size enough for a human woman to fit (not that I’m very tall so it wasn’t even that long and I remember being a little scrunched up anyway). It had a thin little mattress and a thin white sheet that I was covered with, and I was trying to sleep. And David Bowie saw me and inspiration must have struck because he then began to paint me just like this on the wall that I was facing, on the right side of the large window. And again, he wasn’t a spectacularly talented painter so the little thing he did of me was not a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination. If anything, it looked kind of like the paintings I used to try to do when I was younger with shitty anatomy and wonky facial features. But he was so proud of it, I didn’t dare say anything to damper his happiness. The one thing I did question, however, was why it appeared like my head was poking out of both ends of the blanket. He went on to say that the one “head” was actually my head and the other “head” at where my feet ought to be was actually him trying to include my cat curled up at the end of the bed. Which made sense once I realized that the cat “head” had orange-y brown and white fur like Tex does in real life and my “head” had black hair. 

An interjection real quick just to say that the fact that Tex was laying at my feet in my dream is very accurate because when I woke up at, like, 1am, he was literally laying right between my calves so that I had absolutely zero leg room whatsoever. 

The second dream was the one that got me really upset and fucked up in the head. My fiance and I were in Walmart and we were accompanied by a girl who I knew back in elementary school. She looked exactly the same as she did back then, with long blonde hair down to her ass and bright blue eyes and a certain sense of confidence that was almost condescending. The background of this was that apparently my fiance and I were taking a crack at polyamory and she was the third in our relationship. She was, however, unfortunately extremely controlling. She took over the entire shopping trip and insisted that she control what we bought and what we were going to eat. Some of the contents i remember her grabbing were a plastic container of fresh, pre-cut mixed vegetables (I think it was probably carrots and kale and some other stuff, so basically like a salad mix), a tan cardboard container of a dozen frozen eggs, and clear goose milk in a very fancy glass bottle super similar to a bottle of Sheridan. My fiance went along with it, claiming that we needed to start eating healthier anyway, and he seemed relatively content with this girl’s new role in our life. I, however, was quickly spiraling. I began feeling as if my fiance liked this girl more than he liked me, or that he felt she was better for him than I was or something, and her outward, dominating nature not just in general but around him specifically was just really starting to rub me the wrong way. I started falling behind, dragging my feet through the store, I think I was also hugging the only thing I had a say in getting to my chest as if in an effort to keep my heart from breaking through my ribs and exploding across the fucking linoleum floor. At one point I’m pretty sure my fiance stopped and pulled me aside for a moment alone and asked me what my problem was, and I said something along the lines of this being a mistake and that “I’m too competitive to be in a polyamorous relationship” or something. He kind of expressed a sentiment along the lines of it being too late now or something, and I remember standing in the register line beside my fiance watching this woman ring up all of this stuff that I didn’t want nor was I going to eat and just kind of having an existential crisis about it all. I think at one point I even likened her to the personification of my eating disorder, in a way? Like her being super controlling and telling me what I was and wasn’t allowed to eat and making me feel like I was unworthy and unlovable and not good enough or something. Though there are aspects of the whole thing that don’t actually make any sense in the ED allegory but still, whatever. It was a thing.

Another interjection to note, though, that this also makes a bit of sense in terms of the eating stuff since my ED has been kicking my ass hardcore this week and especially last night because I skipped dinner so I was starving when I woke up in the middle of the night but wasn’t about to get up and get food despite the fact that all I had to eat yesterday was a handful of chocolate chip cookies and a goddamn fucking fruit cup. 

The third and final dream was luckily probably the most uplifting, especially after the polyamory thing. I was at a hotel with my parents, my fiance, and my mother in law. We were packing up to leave, so I remember going through the room and carrying things down to the truck and just the overall back and forth of it. And I remember the staircase up to our room reminded me of my university’s old student union--they had an outdoor staircase encased in brick with a large window that looked out to where the old union used to be. So I remember stopping for a minute there to look out this window and kind of reminisce for a second before going back up. I also remember grabbing my two childhood baby dolls from the nightstand by the bed (which is where I actually keep them in my own bedroom in real life) and thinking to myself that I needed to take extra care with packing them and ensure that I was putting them someplace that was not going to damage them. This was all very basic until I went back into the hotel lobby for another round but suddenly the method was different. The lobby was very big and everything was painted a dingy gray-tan and dark gray-brown and there was crunchy carpet and coffee-colored linoleum and warm aesthetic lighting shining on what looked like some sort of stage even though it was actually further into the ground instead of raised. And there was a winding, walled off ramp leading down toward the “stage” that was filled with a queue of people. The whole thing essentially reminded me of the former version of what is now the Epcot Experience building in Epcot, back when it was tan and kind of rundown and hosted like special booths for Food and Wine or guest services for annual passholders and shit like that. It just overall very much had the same sort of vibes, as well as the same feel as waiting in line for it’s a small world at Disney World just with the way the ramp lead down into the main attraction below. But anyway it turned out that now in order to get back up to my hotel room, I was going to have to wait in this line and brawl the other people there for permission or something? Though this rule also seemed to have zero effect whatsoever on my parents, my mother in law, or even my fiance. It seemed this was only applicable to me. I think I had just come back from standing in line and then going upstairs to cart more of our stuff to the car when I reentered then, and I had only really taken five minutes but in that span of time, the line had grown exponentially. There was also a gate now at the line’s entrance, and a perky blonde girl about my age was standing at a podium tracking everyone who stepped in line. I almost turned around and gave up because I didn’t think it was worth waiting in line, but the girl called me back over and encouraged me to get in line anyway. I walked up to the podium after someone else, who entered after telling her that their number was 17. I guess people had been assigned numbers before they got in line, maybe in an attempt to organize who was going to brawl who or something. Either way, it felt a lot like when you pull numbers at the deli or the DMV. So I walked up to the girl at the podium after the person in front of me was granted entrance and she asked me what my number was. I told her I didn’t have one. She said “Well, what number comes after 17?” and I hesitantly replied “Eighteen...?” which evidently was not the right answer as the girl then started exclaiming about “Why not one??? Why not one?!?!”, though not in an angry way but more like an “incredulous laughter, this is ridiculous” sort of way? And then there was a tanned guy in a neon t-shirt who was way too enthusiastic for his own good, and also kind of buff, who cut his way through the crowd and appeared next to the girl. I suppose he was maintaining the line and calling the next challengers up to the plate or something. He insisted that I was, in fact, number one and then grabbed my wrist and began weaving back through the crowd guiding me to the front of the line. We had to squeeze past a shit ton of people, some of which I remember being extremely fat and insistent on not making room for us to get past, until we reached the very front of the line. He placed me as the third person in line, behind an unidentifiable person in spot one and my best friend’s best friend in spot two. Standing behind me in spot four was my childhood best friend who seemed super confused as to what was going on. She kept looking at me like she was trying to understand a language she didn’t know. And the guy simply explained to her, and this was his exact quote, “Sometimes someone comes along who is faster and stronger.” And my childhood best friend just immediately went “Oh, it was [myaekingheart], wasn’t it?” as if now it all made perfect sense, like no wonder I was the one butting ahead in the line because I was apparently supreme and superior and so it made sense that I was given special treatment and allowed to skip the entire line, though this was not said in a condescending or rude or bothered manner but rather a simple show of ultimate comprehension. But really, the only reason I can think of for my actually getting brought to the front of the line was that I remember it was already nightfall out as we were packing up the car and my dad had mentioned something about needing to get this done quick so we could get a start on the drive back home and be back before it got too late because he had to be up at, like, 3am for work in the morning and I hated the thought of being the reason why he could get hurt at work the next day because of sleep deprivation because I was the one taking too damn long to get a job done. But, like, despite all of this, it was also kind of comforting/reassuring to hear this exchange between this guy and my childhood best friend about my being strong and supreme and shit, especially after the legitimate blow to my self esteem that the weird polyamory dream had on me. 

[aj-diamond]

Promptis Week: Day 1:  Day 1: Realization- the moment they knew it was love / Ten Years Later This took me FOREVER to write. I really didn’t expect for it to be this long. I really didn’t. But, here it is, written and edited to the best of my ability. It has been forever since I written a fanfiction. I hope you enjoy! (And please spare me!)

Notes: This is a AU, Noct and Prompto are in college. Iggy and Gladio own a coffee shop. Noct’s not a prince and there is no pain in this world. *Breathes in* I need them to all be happy, okay? Also, Prompto is the one that realizes he’s in love. There is a purpose for that, that will be revealed in the upcoming days. And yes, everything will be connected. 

Rated: T (this time) 

Word Count: 3,601 (Too many words)

Also can be read on: Ao3 

@promptisfanweek

He’s Falling in Love Now… (Realization)

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

Prompto whined loudly, how could it possibly be 8AM already? He just laid down for a little shut eye. Maybe his alarm clock was broken and was lying to him now. Prompto opened his eyes halfway and glanced at his alarm clock. It was blurry but he made out the time, 8:03AM.

He whined louder and buried his face in his pillow, “Nooo! I wanna sleep. Let me sleep!”  He slammed the snooze button down.

Granted, not getting enough sleep was his own fault. A ten-page essay for his art appreciation class was due today by 12PM and he only had it half finished. He managed to finish the assignment that morning, around 4AM. He had weeks, 3 weeks to be precise, to finish the essay, but he continuously put it off. Blame procrastination or the lack of motivation, or maybe the fact that Street Fighting Kings II had come out a week after the assignment was given. Either way, it just wasn’t done and now it was.

Prompto slowly rose up from his warm, comfy, rollaway bed and dragged himself towards the bathroom, “I’ll brush my teeth, take a quick, cold shower and get some coffee.”

Coffee. That’s what he needed. He needed a least two, strong, large cups of coffee and a chocolate frosted doughnut with sprinkles.  He wasn’t going to be able to make it if he didn’t get coffee and doughnut.

He staggered into the bathroom and flipped on the light, he rubbed his face with both his hands as though he was trying to wipe off his sleepiness. Prompto looked into the mirror and nearly jumped at his reflection he could see. He looked like a zombie. His eyes were bloodshot, dark circles were underneath his eyes. Strands of blond hair stood up everywhere.

“Okay. First things first. Contacts. Can’t see shit without those.” he mumbled, picking up the chocobo adorned contact storage case.

He popped the small storage case opened, and pressed his index finger to the right lens, “Okay, here we g- no!” The small lens fell off the blonde's finger and down his sink drain. Prompto closed his eyes, this couldn’t be happening. This seriously could not be happening.

One of his 500 gil contact lenses fell down the drain. Yeah, that wasn’t a lot to some people, but to him, a college student that was barely able to pay rent every month, it was a lot. Prompto threw his hands up, “Oh well! Didn’t need to see anyway! Way to go, Prompto.” He sighed aloud. “I guess I can just wear my glasses.”

He picked up his toothbrush and turned the faucet knobs… Nothing. He tried turning it again. Again, nothing. His water bill, he knew it was, they had sent him the notice just a couple weeks ago. He guessed they couldn’t wait for their payment till he got paid tomorrow.

Prompto tossed his toothbrush on the counter, “Guess, I’m just getting coffee. That’s only thing that can possibly turn this day around.”

He was not only exhausted but now dirty. Well, at least he felt dirty. Luckily, he didn’t smell. He had taken a shower last night when the water had still been on. But his face felt gross, and his teeth felt grimy. Chewing gum wasn’t helping them feel any cleaner either.

“Just think positive things, Prom. It’s going to be fine.” Prompto encouraged himself as he pushed the thick, red rimmed glasses up onto his nose. “You have three classes today, and then the evening shift at your job, and then you can go home and sleep!”

He nodded.  Things weren’t so bad when he thought about it, it was just a rocky morning. He couldn’t let such minor things ruin the rest of his day, “You can save for more contact lenses, and in the meantime, you can wear these glasses. No biggie!” he adjusted his glasses again. “It’s not like they look bad on me! Then, of course, I can pay my water bill in the morning! It’s all good!”

Prompto walked with a little more liveliness in his steps. He got closer to the small coffee shop, conveniently located right by his campus. He could smell the freshly brewed coffee from here, “Ah, Scholar’s Brew, my pick-me-up since my freshman year!”

Prompto jogged the rest of the way there, pushing open the double doors and bounding in. He inhaled deeply and exhaled, nothing beat the smell of coffee in the morning. He looked around the shop and it wasn’t too busy right now either. Perfect.

“Yo, Prompto,” said the big guy behind the counter.  “The usual?”

“Sup, Gladio!” Prompto greeted as he approached the counter, “Actually, instead of one cappuccino I need at least two. One for here and one to go. Venti. Extra espresso.”

“What the hel- Two, with extra espresso? Man, you’ll be bouncing off the walls all day!” he exclaimed. “Were you up late again last night playing video games or somethin’?”

“Ten-page essay. I totally procrastinated on it.” Prompto rubbed the back of his neck. Gladiolus’ laughter filled the small shop.

“That’s what ya get, ya know?” Gladiolus boomed. “I told ya not to get that game till you were done with it, but no, you just had to have.”

“Come on man, cut me some slack. It’s the only joy I have in life.”

“Only joy? Oh geez, you’ve made it very clear to me that you have never gone on a date or had a girlfriend if a video game is your ‘only joy’.”

Prompto flushed in embarrassment, he was so lucky that there was hardly anyone in here. If there were more than just an elderly couple and a woman and her children here he would have been ten times more embarrassed, “I just.... haven’t found the right person yet.” Prompto insisted, crossing his arms. “No one has really… caught my eye. Trust me! I’m a love expert!”

“Uh-huh, sure. Anything to go with your coffee?”

“I am!” Prompto protested, before turning and heading over to his usual table by the window. “I’ll have a chocolate frosted doughnut with sprinkles, please and thanks, Gladi.”

“Yep, should be out in a few!”  Gladiolus informed. “Iggy, we need two Venti cappuccinos, extra espresso! One for here, one to go! And a chocolate doughnut with sprinkles!”  

The blonde sat down, setting his backpack down on the floor next to his feet. He gently hummed and tapped his fingers against the tabletop as he patiently awaited his order, “Two venti cappuccinos with extra espresso? Plus, a sugary doughnut?” a voice questioned behind him.  “Are you trying to crash and burn?”  

Prompto blinked and then looked behind him, “Yeah, well that’s what happens when-”  He paused when he really got a look at the guy that dare question his coffee motives. He was handsome, very handsome. Smooth, pale skin, dark spiky hair that was perfectly styled, a pair of beautiful, dark stormy eyes that seemed to illuminate behind his dark bangs. In his ears, he had the graduate lobe piercing going on. Six glimmering, dark studs of various sizes adorned them.

When had this guy gotten there? Prompto swallowed hard, he hadn’t been there before, had he? He’s sure he would’ve noticed him when he walked in. Prompto cleared his throat and continued, “When you have a late night.”

The beautiful stranger cocked his head, “Lemme’ guess, you were up till about... 3AM working on a project that’s due today. Reason? You kept putting it off.”

He rose a brow, it was scary how close he was to being accurate, “It was 4AM, thank you, and it was a ten-page essay.”

“I was close,” he replied. “I was off an hour and an essay is considered a project, dude.”

Prompto opened his mouth, then closed it. He wasn’t entirely wrong. An essay was “technically” a writing project. He turned away from the dark haired stranger and rested his chin in the palm of his hand. He wasn’t going to discuss with a stranger a matter that knew nothing about it. He didn’t know him from the gods.

“I’m going to elaborate on why you put off your essay, chocobutt. Street Fighting Kings II came out and,” the stranger paused. Prompto’s ears perked up, he didn’t know whether it was because he called him ‘chocobutt’ or because he had mentioned SFKII. “You put in hours of gameplay trying to perfect the combos of new and old characters in the game.”

Prompto swiftly turned around, “You overheard my conversation with Gladio! That’s how you know all this!”

He raised his hands in defense, “All I heard was the order that you placed.” he said. “I was probably in the bathroom when your conversation with ol’ Gladi went down.”

“Are you… some kind of mage or something then?” Prompto questioned, leaning forward towards his direction. “How did you know?”

“You know how badass that would be if I was?” the stranger asked, leaning forward as well. “I’d be a Time Mage, hands down.”

Time Mage? Prompto couldn’t help but scoff, “Really, dude? Out of all the types of mages you picked the Time Mage?”

“What’s wrong with Time Mages? They can alter reality. They can use slow, haste, warp, and gravity.” the stranger argued. “Just imagine all the conveniences of being a lord of time!”

“Eh, it doesn’t have that many conveniences.” Prompto shrugged. “If you want convenience, Summoner is the way to go.”

“Summoner? How is being a Summoner, in any way, have conveniences?”  the dark haired boy turned his body towards him. “You think having an overgrown pet by your side whenever you want is convenient?”

“Dude, instead of “warping” to wherever you running late to, you ride on the back of Valefor and soar through the clouds!” Prompto beamed. “Or you could summon an adorable chocobo to get you where you need to go!”

“You like chocobos?”

“I love chocobos. They’re my favorite creature in the world!”

The stranger looked down and let out a small laugh, “Oh no wonder the front of your hair looks like a chocobo’s butt then.”

Prompto touched the front of his hair and then frowned, “My hair does not look like a chocobo’s butt!” He shook his head. “We’re off topic! How’d you know all that about me? With my essay and all?”

The stranger chuckled, which made the boy’s heart flutter a bit, “Observation.” he simply answered. “How I know you were up late; you look practically dead and you ordered two large cups of coffee.”

Prompto fidgeted with his glasses, “Well, I guess that was simple enough. What about my procrastination purpose, Mr. Observation? How did you know about SFKII?”

The other boy got up, flung his backpack on his shoulder, and made his way to his table. His boots clunked against the tile floors as he approached, “Mmm, well,” he said, stopping at his table. “I saw you have the limited edition SFKII pin on your backpack, I have it too. So, I know you have the game.”

Prompto held his breath, this guy was even more handsome close-up. And oh gods he smelled so freaking nice!

“If I’ve been putting off homework because of that game, I know you are too.” He tapped his knuckles on his table. “Well, see you chocobutt. Hope you get through your day alright.”

“M-my hair does not look like a chocobo’s butt.” he protested again.

The stranger flashed him a smile, (and when he did, Prompto swore his heart skipped a beat or two.) and started on his way again.

Prompto blinked, trying as hard as he possibly could to peel his eyes away from him.  Though, it was futile. He watched as he paid Gladiolus, as he said goodbye, as he walked out the door, and as he walked down the sidewalk… well, that was up until he looked over at him and smiled at him again. That was when he was able to take his eyes off of him and quickly look in the other direction, Oh gods, he saw me staring at him! He’s gotta think I’m weird.  He pressed his lips together. Wait, why am I freaking out like this?

“Here you are, Prompto. Two venti cappuccinos and a doughnut as you requested.” Ignis placed his coffees and doughnut on the table. “Are you sure you don’t want anything with, say, nutritional value?”

Prompto was in a daze, he could feel his cheeks burning and his heart thumping a mile a minute. He had heard Ignis, but didn’t hear him. “He was so cool,” he muttered to himself.

“What was that?” Ignis asked in a puzzled tone. “Are you feeling alright? Your face is bright pink. Do you need a drink of ice water?”

“Water? Hmm, yeah, it is a little warm in here isn’t?” Prompto said slowly.  “Yeah, water would be nice.”

“Right away.”

“Thanks.”

For the rest of the day, even with coffee in his system, (it was practically running through his veins once he had finished the second cup) Prompto felt out of it.

“When will this feeling go away?” He shut his apartment door, pressing his back against it. “After that encounter with that guy, I’ve been feeling different. My chest is warm and I feel like something is floating around my stomach.”

He shrugged off his backpack and let it fall at his feet, “Maybe it’s because I’m tired and hungry. Moreso tired.”

He kicked off his boots and, went straight to his bed. (It had been calling his name since he left his apartment) The blonde flopped onto his bed, burying his face in his pillow. He sighed contently, “Time for some shut-eye…” He stretched himself across his mattress, “The best part? I get to sleep in!”

Prompto closed his eyes, but his mind, as it had all day, wandered back to that guy that he encountered at the coffee shop. He sighed aloud, laying on his back and ran his down his hands down his face, “Why am I acting like this?”

He opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. He didn’t know why he kept thinking about him or why he kept wondering why he didn’t ask for his name. He wasn’t sure why his smile was engraved in his mind or why he was praying silently to the gods throughout the day that he would get to see him again soon.

Prompto’s eyes grew wide. “Wait... am I?!” He quickly sat up, he could feel heat spreading across his cheeks. It was all making sense to him now. The fluttering in his stomach was known as butterflies and the warmth in his chest… that was…

“But, that’s crazy. Something like that can’t happen in real life. There’s no such thing as love at first sight, right? Right?” Prompto covered his face with his hands. “I can’t have fallen in love so quickly...”

Though, what else could this possibly be? He was sure it wasn’t merely a crush or infatuation. He had crushes, thousands and upon thousands, and none of them felt like this. This one was different. (A good different.)

He to make sure though. He needed a second opinion. He needed to see him again.

Prompto ran to Scholar’s Brew the next morning (being a runner, he was at the little coffee shop in no time at all). His heart was full of excitement and his mind was filled with all kinds of scenarios of what could happen. But, when he got there he began to think of the things that may not happen. He thought of all the worst case scenarios, mainly the biggest worst case scenario; him not showing up.

He had to have been pacing and fidgeting with the skull ring on his finger for at least ten minutes. It was only until Gladio called him out when he stopped his nervous behavior, “Gods Prompto, are you going to come in or stay out there and pace all day?!”

“I was coming in, I just… thinking!”

“You think? I didn’t know you did that.” Gladiolus grabbed him by the back of his red flannel shirt and dragged him in. “Get your ass in here, Iggy already made you coffee. He said that you shouldn’t let it get cold.”

“Hey, hey, don’t drag me!” Prompto exclaimed, practically falling in the doors. “Lemme’ go, Gladi!”

Gladiolus let him go and once Prompto was released, his head instantly turned in the direction of the beanbag chair where he had met the nameless, mystery man. But, his stomach sank when he saw he wasn’t there. Maybe he just isn’t here yet.

Prompto pressed his lips and sat at his usual table. He picked up his freshly brewed coffee and took a sip. Yeah, don’t jump to conclusions. There’s still a chance I’ll get to maybe see him.

“Hey, what’s with that look? The coffee bitter or somethin’?” Gladiolus cocked a brow.

“My coffee? Bitter? Preposterous!” Ignis exclaimed from the kitchen.

“No, the coffee’s great as usual, Ig!” he trailed off. “Just great…!”

Gladio folded his arms, “Ya know what you’re going through is really none of my business. But, if you need to talk, I’m willing to listen.”  

Prompto was hesitant for a moment, but then figured, why not? What did he have to lose? He had no one else to talk about his situation with anyway. He picked up his coffee and took a seat at the bar. He took in a deep breath and looked at Gladio, “Remember when I said video games were my only joy in life, yesterday?”

“Mm, yeah, why?”

“Well, I think I may have a bigger and greater joy now.” Prompto took in another deep breath and whispered loudly. “I think I’ve fallen in love.”

“In love? What? When? With whom?” Ignis questioned coming from around the corner, looking quite curious.

Gladiolus chuckled, “Didn’t know you were listenin’ in, Iggs.”

“I wasn’t, just merely caught ear of it.” Ignis turned his attention from Gladiolus to Prompto. “Come now, Prompto. Who’s the girl? How recently did you meet her?”

Prompto took a big gulp of his coffee, then let out a nervous laugh, “Yeah, we met yesterday and… who said anything about it being a girl?”

“Oh, so you swing both ways, huh?” Gladiolus nodded in understanding. “Well, then let’s rephrase that. Who’s the guy?”

“I don’t know,” Prompto admitted with eyes casting downward. “I met him here yesterday, and I didn’t catch his name.”

Gladiolus and Ignis looked at him for a moment and then at each other. Ignis spoke up first, “Could it be who we are both thinking of?”

“Hasta’ be! I did see them talkin’ yesterday.”

The two older men looked back at him and unison said, “Noct.”

“Noct?” Prompto repeated.  

“Yes. Well, his full name is, Noctis. Gladiolus and I have known him since we kids.” Ignis explained.  “He lived here in Lucis most his life but moved to Altissia for a while due to his father’s work. He just recently came back for college. Not sure why he didn’t come back his freshman year.”

“Yeah, he came back… almost a month ago?” Gladiolus looked puzzledly at Prompto. “Surprised you two haven’t met till now, you both go to the same University, and hang around here.”

Prompto thought about it a moment. It was a little strange, he practically knew everyone or at least their faces. He was sure as hell he’d remember a face like Noct’s.

“Noct does go to the private side of IU. Prompto probably goes to the normal side.”  Ignis rubbed his chin. “You know, that would explain his behavior change and flushed face when he left yesterday.”  

“Well, speak of the devil. Guess we’re going to find out if he’s a love stricken pup or not right now.”

Prompto felt his heart leap into his throat, he peered out the front door behind him. It was him, Noctis. He looked as good as yesterday, no actually… he looked more handsome. Was that even possible, to get handsome in one day? He looked away, feeling his cheeks grow warm.

“G’morning Gladio, specs.” Noctis greeted as he entered the shop.

“Morning.” the two reply.

Prompto suddenly felt Noctis’ eyes on him. He took a large gulp of his coffee as if it were going to calm his fried nerves.

“Morning, chocobutt.” Maybe it’s just him, but Prompto swears Noctis greeted him in a more gentler way.

“Good morning, stranger.” Prompto manages to get out, turning towards him.

“Noctis, don’t be rude,” Ignis scolded. Prompto actually doesn’t mind the nickname all that much, it’s starting to grow on him. “Noctis, this is Prompto. Prompto, this is Noctis.”

Noctis smiled and extended out one of his hands, “Nice to meet you, Prompto.”

Prompto found himself smiling back, “Likewise.” he replied, taking Noctis’ hand in his.

In that very moment that he took his hand, everything felt like it… clicked. There was no doubt in his mind now; he really had fallen in love. As crazy and far-fetched as it seemed, he was already crazy about Noct. He was someone he wanted to be with, he wanted to learn about, to explore with, to hug, to kiss, to cherish. He didn’t want to ever let go of his hand.

“Yeah, it’s obvious,” Gladiolus said to Ignis.

“Quite,” Ignis agreed, with a nod of his head. “This shall be interesting.”

[byul-bit-arae]

Let Me: Park Jinyoung (GOT7)

pretty late according to korean time but since it’s still the 22nd where i live here’s a really ugly Jinyoung scenario. Happy birthday prince

Genre: angst, fluff Word count: 2676

(idk if you’re the type to listen to music while reading you might want to listen to this)

The girl sighed for what seemed like the umpteenth time that evening. Nothing really wanted to work her way. Hajin thought that when she chose her favorite major everything else would fall into place from that moment. Little did she know it was just a new beginning of a different chapter. A different chapter of her life that probably had more challenges than any other. Keeping up with studies, social life and love life was all she had to do, but it was easier said than done. Hajin thought she was lucky she got a group of good friends just in her first year of college, being the introvert she is. But really not just because you are in the same group of friends doesn't mean you can't be attracted to someone. Someone that probably had their "someone" already Jinyoung was one hell of a fine guy. He was tall, with a nice body line and decent face features. His style was casual and tidy and he was one of a gentleman. Hajin never really knew how he and Jihyo clicked, but they did. Jihyo was one of, if not, the most hyper one in their group of friends. She's the type to manage to be extra about everything, and was quite feisty. Neither of the two actually admitted they were dating, but the whole squad really wouldn't be surprised if they were, because they never left each other's side. They were sickly always together, their tones and gestures changing when left alone with each other. Hajin would often end up stuck with the two of them after classes, since she took the same bus as Jihyo, and jinyoung wouldn't really leave his 'beloved' alone would he? They'd talk while waiting for the bus to arrive about the most boring details of their lives and Hajin never felt more of a third wheel, and ends up getting immersed in one of her puzzle games or plugging on her earphones, leaving the two alone to be more comfortable and goes for a short walk. Hajin secretly never wanted to believe Jinyoung and Jihyo were dating. There had to be something wrong about it. But they were making it too obvious she couldn't think otherwise Jihyo would jump on him and playfully hit him or steal his phone just to get on his nerves and he'd just stare at her with a smile, shaking his head and muttering how much of an idiot she was in the best cases. Hajin thought at least if Jihyo didn't like Jinyoung, he did like her And she really didn't blame Jinyoung at all for not noticing her or her crush on him. Because one, she was the most lowkey person about her crushes and was really great at hiding it, and two, she always seemed like the indifferent and rather cold one in the group that didn't give a shit about love and such and was most of the time lost in her own world. And although Hajin wasn't the biggest fan of 'crushes between friends' , it was that one day when Jinyoung called her name and she looked up from her notebook only to find his face a few centimeters away from hers, as he rested his palms on her desk. And even though he was just asking for an eraser, it was on that one day that Hajin realized Jinyoung was the one to make her feel butterflies in her stomach, as cheesy as it sounds. Sighing again the girl decided to leave her apartment before she dies of suffocation there, mental suffocation if that could be said. Hajin didn't really realize what she was doing until she was paying for like four cans of beer at the counter of a rather unfamiliar convenience store. The girl couldn't drink for shit, even when she'd be out for a meal with her group of friends she'd refuse to join the drinking mess -although Jackson and Bambam would be dabbing to death at that point, drunk as heck- But there were two 'convincing' reasons that made her pay for what she bought then sit down by a riverbank and pop open the first can: first, yolo, second, fuck this shit. - Gulping down the first bit of the second can, the light drinker already started feeling lightheaded. Looking around the place she felt quite lonely, she didn't even have a drinking partner. So holding up her phone, she scrolled down her contacts and found herself tapping on Jinyoung's number. You couldn't really say she didn't know what she was doing, but it was two in the freaking morning so maybe she wasn't that sober either "Hello? Hajin, did something happen? Why are you calling me at this hour?" Jinyoung asked in a tired yet alarmed voice as soon as he picked up, but got no response "Hajin? .... Yah, where are you ?" He asked after noticing noises from the other line and it seemed like she was outside ".. Jinyoung-ah.." he finally heard the girl whispering dryly "Tell me where you are. right now." He says as he grabbed his jacket and left his house - About quarter an hour later Jinyoung arrived running to the correct place just from the blurry information his half-drunk friend gave him and she was already half way through the last can. And as relieved Jinyoung was that she wasn't hurt or anything, he didn't miss the chance to scold the hell out of her "Yah have you gone crazy what are you doing outside do you know what time--" he stopped as he saw the scattered cans in front of the girl She looked up and found him staring between the cans and her with alarmed eyes "I'm sober" was all she blurted and he huffed in disbelief "You're totally drunk aren't you" he said as he waved his hand in front of her face and her dilated pupils didn't even move "Drunk indeed, aish" Jinyoung muttered to himself before sitting down next to her, as he thought it'd be stupid of him to leave her in such a state; the girl couldn't even sit straight "Aish, you're the last person I thought I'd have to deal with while drunk. You idiot, I thought you were mature enough. How did you even end up like this, huh? College stress?" The boy started rambling but he knew it was in vain because she wouldn't even be able to reply anyways "Jinyoung-ah" Hajin voiced out, as if ignoring all what he had said -not that it wasn't true- "Why are you like this to me" "Huh?" Was all Jinyoung could utter "Why are you like this to me?" She turned to him "Why do you only look at her? Am I invisible? Can you see me?" The girl asked as she waved her hand in front his face and Jinyoung looked at her as if she was crazy "Answer me" Hajin snapped as tears began to form in her eyes, starting to become visibly drunk "Why can't you see anything but her? What is it that makes me and Jihyo so different for you? Why are you even attracted to that crazy woman? You're so bad Jinyoung" the girl went on whining like a five year old, eventually hitting him with clenched yet tired fists as she sobbed harder And as much as Jinyoung didn't want to mind her because she was probably just being an emotional drunkard, and only tried to gently grab her wrists and stop her from hitting him -not that it hurt or anything the girl was weak as hell-, Jinyoung also knew that drunk talk is real talk, and that made him believe all of what she was saying and also feel like punching himself in the face because his crush likes him back yet he never thought of taking the first step. Hajin eventually calmed down and her sobs became quieter and quieter as she rested on Jinyoung's chest, him trying to remember any possible sign or situation she showed interest in him, and he found nothing except for the fact that she looked slightly flustered and stuttered a bit whenever he talked to her, but he always brushed it off and thought it was because of the timid person she was. But now Park Jinyoung was feeling like the worst human being on earth. Snapping out of his many thoughts, Jinyoung looked down to find that the girl already passed out in his arms, and that's when it hit him that he needs to take her home. Great. He didn't even know her address. Jinyoung sighed and fished out his phone from his pocket before unlocking it and accessing the most recent chat head / -Hey do you know by any chance know where Hajin lives? -What, why so suddenly -It's for science purposes -She lives at xx, I thought we all already knew where we each of us lives -No I mean like the exact address of her house -.... -Listen just give it to me -What the heck Jinyoung it's 3am And I would've killed you if I wasn't still awake because of my assignment -Look jihyo it's an emergency now don't be an ass -Okay wtv but you've got some shit to explain tomorrow / Jinyoung out his phone back in his pocket after receiving the full address from his best friend and proceeded to attempt carrying a sleeping Hajin on his back. -NEXT MORNING- 

Walking through the gates of the school Hajin tried her best to not think of the horrible headache she was suffering from because of the alcohol she had the previous night. As she marched further inside she could catch the sight of her classmate Jinyoung coming from the opposite way and she smiled, ready greet him "Morning Jinyoung" she said "Good morning, thank God, I was searching for you, come with me" the boy said in a rush before grabbing her hand and gently pulling her towards the building. The girl eyed their surroundings suspiciously as Jinyoung made his way up to the senior classrooms -which were often empty because the students are too busy preparing for their graduation- "What's happening why did you bring me here" Hajin said as soon as he let go of her hand after entering one of the classrooms "I've got something to say" Jinyoung started, taking a deep breath, "Listen, don't freak out, I know this is gonna sound crazy and you're most likely not gonna believe me" "What is it Jinyoung, I swear to god if this is a joke" Hajin said, sounding tensed "What are you talking about I'm not joking this is the most serious I've been in my whole life" Jinyoung quickly defended in a nervous tone "What is it already" "Last night, we met and," he gulped, "And ended up confessing to each other, so that means we're dating now" Jinyoung blurted, and even though what he said wasn't 100% true, he figured it would work better that way, she sure didn't remember a thing so he could play with the truth in his favor all he wanted "I have one question." The girl puased, "Did you really think I was gonna fall for that?" She eyed him in disbelief as she thought he couldn't be worse of a liar "Listen I'm not kidding. You were drunk for God's sake." Jinyoung retorted and Hajin eyed him suspiciously. "How did you know I drank last night? Oh do I look like I'm having a hangover?" "Because I was there, you called me" he replied "Look at this, you really think I'm a fool, don't you" Hajin said, too done with his confident answers "Just listen to me" Jinyoung started but was soon cut off by the girl "Look Jinyoung I know they chose you because you're the best actor in the squad but whatever prank you guys are trying to pull is not working and is not funny" Hajin calmly said, trying her best not to sound hurt because Jinyoung most likely didn't know how she felt about this whole prank thing, especially coming from him "What prank I---" Jinyoung sighed "Hand me your phone for a sec" he said and practically just seized her phone and unlocked it, accessing the calls log "Hey hey wait what are you doing" "See this?" He said, showing her the out coming call from the previous night. "You called me at holy two in the morning. Now tell me I'm making that up too" Jinyoung added, and the girl couldn't do anything but stare between him and her phone screen "I know this is sounding crazy but you know well I don't play with these stuff, even if the others were really planning a prank and asked me to do it I wouldn't. And don't go ahead and tell me you were drunk and didn't mean it because a drunk person is an honest person, and that's science I'm not bullshitting you. You said you liked me and I honestly feel horrible I made you feel like that, me and jihyo are nothing more than close friends. And I never meant to make you feel that way. I didn't really talk to you that much because I was afraid I couldn't control my behavior, every time I looked at you my brain just shut down and, I was sure you didn't feel the same way so I just let it be. But now please don't send me off, because I know you want this too." The girl only stared at him, dumbfounded as everything happened too fast for her aching head to process. She didn't even know what to reply and was more than glad to have time stop for a moment. "Please I'll do whatever you want to make you believe me." He added, holding her hand, "I'm ready to yell to the top of my lungs that I love you in the middle of the campus, should I do that? Wait h--" Jinyoung said before attempting to exit the room "Hey hey hey come here have you gone crazy" the girl stopped him and -tried to- shove him back inside "If that meant liking you then I've totally gone crazy" Jinyoung answered and she looked at him in disbelief as her heart beat faster, yet he was secretly satisfied because things were going his way and he knew he had her "What are you so afraid of? We both like each other" he added after receiving no response "I know, but this is just sounding too weird for now" Hajin bluntly replied "Wait untill we enter the classroom together to see what's really weird" Jinyoung said with a mischievous smile as he took her hand, leading the way back to their classroom "W-wait what!!" - "Look I'm not entering hands in hands with you are you mad Park Jiny-" as the two were quietly quarreling close to the door they kind of forgot the room had huge aligned glass windows and that their friends were watching the whole thing "Just come in already, lovebirds, we know everything" they heard Mina yelling from inside and they both did as told, but with priceless shocked face expressions "Don't you know how to keep a secret" Jinyoung told his best friend in disbelief "You literally asked me for her address at three in the morning. Bloody three in the morning Jinyoung! How am I not supposed to tell them?!" Jihyo retorted "Look at this, they were gonna keep this a secret from us." Jaebum snorted then soon added, "and hey, not just because you're dating now means you're not gonna have lunch with us" "It also doesn't mean you're gonna escape the teasing nor the roasting" Mark joined "Neither does it mean you won't join us skipping class all together and hanging out" Jimin said making all of them laugh, and no one disagreed because they were just this type of squad.

ikr i’m cringing too lol happy birthday jirongie

[carry-on-wayward-sun]

Wolverine x reader

Quick info: While I was writing this around the midway point I started watching the first X-men movie for the first time ever and realized that this relationship I created is really similar to the one Logan has with Rogue. I apologize for this, wasn't my intention at all.

(the Professor X mentioned is Steward's age so the story takes place pretty recently. Around 'the last stand')

You were sitting on the couch, looking at the sexy lumberjack from afar and fumbling with your levitating pendant. It was moving in the air between your fingers by itself. Well... Not exactly by itself, you were still using your powers but it was there.

Logan was in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, reading some newspaper and you just so happened to be bored and ready to annoy him again.

You stood up from your place, walking over to him, swinging your hips as much as you could. You yawned loudly and jumped onto he counter, sitting your ass down just inches away from his newspaper.

"What are you doing?" He asked, emotionless.

"Sitting." He looked up at you for a split second before returning his gaze down again.

"Get your ass off the counter."

"Why."

"Because it's not a seat."

"Is your lap a seat cause I'd sit on that." You replied, boldly. Logan looked up again, looking rather annoyed.

"Was that supposed to be funny?"

"I dunno, old man. Was it?" You teased.

"Oh shut up. Ass off the counter."

"Mmm, nah." He grunted in frustration and walked away. in the last second you noticed the "wolverine" neklace he had and proceeded to take it off of his neck with your powers. "Oooh~ look at this! So pretty~" He turned around on his heel and in two big steps he was again next to you. You moved your legs so they were dangling off the edge of the counter and he was standing in between them.

"Give that back right now." His tone was serious, his accent thick and it made your insides tingle.

"Hm hm hmmmm.... Wolverine... Wonder how old this is~ 100 years? 150?" You levitated it in front of his eyes to annoy him even more.

"None of your god damn business missy." He snatched it away. You pouted your lips and kept staring him straight in the eyes.

"Look at that~ Did I anger the big~ bad~ wolf?" You teased. Logan growled and pulled out his claws. He held one just beneath your chin, dangerously close. You felt it push into your skin, not enough to break it bit enough to make the possibility concerning. You laughed.

"Don't test me Y/N."

"Do it. Cut me. I dare you." You felt the pressure subside.

"I'm done with you." He said and walked away. You giggled and returned to playing with your pendant.

-----

"You have got to be kidding me." Logan was standing in front of Professor X's desk, pretty annoyed.

"I'm not, Logan." He replied, with his usual stoic expression.

"Can't someone else train them?"

"If there was anyone else I would ask them. I know what your relationship is like Logan." A tint of a smirk formed on Xavier's lips.

"Relationship? That's a strong word."

"What would you call it then?"

"I wouldn't call it anything." Charles sighed.

"Listen... I know Y/N has her.... Quirks. But she's really nice if you get to know her. I'm sure-"

"SHE'S A PAIN IN THE ASS THAT'S WHAT SHE IS." His accent got thick again.

"Just go." Both men kept silent for a while.

"Ugh. Fine." Logan stormed off. He went to his room to change clothes and then headed over to the training room where you were. He opened the door and you looked up. For a second you were confused but then when you realized what was happening you smiled cheekily.

"Didn't believe me, did you?" You returned your gaze down to the fingerless gloves you were putting on. You would lie if you said you weren't excited to be training with Logan. You've taken great pleasure in teasing him and annoying the crap out of him but this was the next step. Now, you can beat the shit out of him and have a reason for that.

"Shut up."He grunted. You might just be seeing things but at that moment you could've swore you saw a tint of a smirk on him lips. Was he excited too? That would just make all of this even better, more fun~.

"Hmm how mean~"You pouted. You always liked to over exagerate everything you did around him. Just the look of sheer anger on his face when you did that made you grin like a highschooler that just wrote 'fuck school' on the bathroom stal.

"Cut the crap kid." He growled and took a swig of his water bottle. "What exactly do you do?" He asked, stretching.

"I levitate stuff, myself included and I am also really good at throwing people around the room, would you like to see for yourself?" You smirked. He raised one eyebrow up and looked at you.

"I am afraid I have no choice. How old are you exactly?"

"23" You started to stretch as well.

"So I'm fighting a kindergardener. Amazing."

"Kindergardener? Are you serious?" You asked, unamused.

"I'm 200 get on my level." He legit smiled that time. No hiding, no side smirking. A full blown SMILE. Your eyes lit up at the joke he made. Truth be told, you loved it when he smiled. Maybe it was because it's so rare? That's probably it...

"As if." You huffed, jokingly.

"Alright I want to get this over with. Show me the best you've got."

"You first. Grandpa." He charged at you,grabbed your wrist and turned you around so your back was tight against his stomach. You giggled. "Is this what they are gonna do or do you just like me?"

"If this was real, this chit chat would've killed you, kid." He tightened his grasp on you. "Now would you be so kind as to show me what am I supposed to work with?"

"Prepare your butt to be kicked."

"I don't think that-" You flicked your wrist in his face and seconds later Logan was sitting with his back against the wall and soothing out the pain on the back of his head. "Ow, what the fuck?"

"Surprised?"

"What the hell was that?" He stood back up, a bit more cautious of you now.

"My powers. I told you I was good at throwing people around. Let's just say the force is strong with me."

"Was that a fucking quote."He grunted. You giggled and started walking around the mat.

"Maaaybe." You were caught of guard and the thing bringing you back on earth was pain in your back. "Wha- Oww..." Logan was above you, pinning you down.

"Rule number one, don't take your eyes of the opponent."

"I'm not." You looked him straight in the eyes. There was a moment of silence.

"You always have to make it weird."

"Yeah I do." You chuckled.

"God damn it." He got off of you and stood back up. "Did I hurt you?" He reached out to help you stand.

"Nah." You stood up as well and prepared yourself to continue.

"Well then. Why don't we... Spice this up a bit?" He asked slowly pulling out his claws.

"Ooooh~ Shiny McClaws!" You got excited.

"Yeah, sounds about right." He charged at you again.

The rest of the training went pretty smooth. He threw punches and you dodged them, he tackled you to the ground, you tackled him right back, he pinned you, you pinned him. You knew he wasn't very fond of you but in those moments you felt like he might just like you at some point in the future.

-----

You were assigned to a mission. A long and important one. Normally it would be an honor but to be honest... You were pissing yourself. Of course you were going to do it, you're an X-men, that's what your role in life is! But... It still felt really scary. What if you died? You didn't want to die!

You were sitting in the jet, ready to depart to what could possibly be your death bed. You were fumbling with your fingers, not sure of what you SHOULD be doing, when you felt a light tap on your shoulder. You looked behind you and noticed it was Logan.

"Hey kid."

"Hi." You said weakly.

"Is... Everything okay? He raised an eyebrow and sat down next to you.

"Yeah... It's alright. I'm just... A bit concerned you know?" You looked st him with fear on your eyes. "It's my first time and... It's such an important mission too." He gave you a reassuring pat on the back.

"You're gonna do just fine. I trained you." He said only half jokingly. You smiled.

"Are you... Used to this kind of stuff? You know... Potentially killing people and fighting like this all the time?"

"When you live 200 years and have a history of being a mercenary, doing this kind of stuff is generally easier but I understand why you're afraid." He said.

"I don't wanna fuck this up."

"You're not going to. Cheer up now." He patted your back again, pulled out a cigar and lit it up.

-----

You had to make a stop. The mission wasn't going as planned and everything was going wrong. Well... Not everything. At least that's what Logan was telling you.

You decided to camp in the middle of the woods and take shifts during the night. Your shift was in the middle of it. You tried sleeping but to no avail. You turned from side to side in the tent you shared with Kitty but nothing worked. You couldn't sleep. Instead, you kept thinking about what was happening and what will happen the next day. Your phone buzzed alarming you taht it was time to change shifts. You crawled out of the tent and closed it behind you to keep Kitty from the bugs and the cold. You walked over to the small campfire where you were supposed to change guards. There you saw Bobby, already half asleep.

"Hey, Bobbster. Wake up man time to change guards." You patted him.

"Hm? Oh Y/N." He looked up at you from his seat and ran a hand through his hair

"Yeah. Go to sleep. You must be tired." You smiled reasuringly and sat next to him.

"Aren't you?"

"I can't sleep anyways."

"Well... Okay then. See you tommorow?"

"Yup." He went back to his tent and you were left alone in the silence of the woods around you. Only sometimes you could hear an animal somewhere far away. You considered playing some music on your phone but that would be too dangerous so it was only you, your thoughts and the campfire and the flames, dancing around within it. You were supposed to stay here two hours so you decided to take it easy and try to think about something else.

The first hour passed with nothing special happening. Around 3am you heard someone unzipping their tent. You looked around to see Logan crawling out.

"It's not your shift yet." You raised one eyebrow and followed him with your gaze. He was wearing a plaid checked shirt and some tank top underneath. His hair was messy. He was sleeping.

"I know." He said walking over to you. "Jesus fucking Christ girl you didnt take a blanket or anything?" He sighed and covered you with a blanket he brought. Truth be told, it was way colder than you expected it to be and you regreted not taking your blanket from your tent but since you didn't want to wake Kitty up, you just let it go.

"I'm not cold." That was a lie.

"Yes you are. Don't lie to me." He sat next to you and yawned.

"Thank you."

"No problem." He pulled a cigar and a lighter from his pocket, put it in between his lips and lit it up. You observed him carefully. You never hid the fact that you found Logan extremely attractive, because of course you did. Who wouldn't? In that moment not looking at him would be a crime.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" You asked.

"I don't know. I guess I just wanted to keep you company. You were pissing your pants earlier I thought it would be good to at least cheer you up a bit." He glanced over to you.

"That's nice of you." You smiled. Even though you have a history of harassing the shit of the guy, he still managed to be so kind and forgiving to you.

"Your eyes are red. Did you sleep?" He asked looking into your eyes. You could clearly see he was concerned and that made your insides tingle. Being an X-men was the closest you ever were to being a part of a family and every little act of sheer kindness made you so happy.

"I tried." You confessed and hugged the blanket tighter around yourself.

"And?"

"Couldn't."

"Fucks sake. You're going to be exhausted tommorow. You shouldn't have done that." He huffed out a cloud of smoke. You weren't really a fan of smoking but somehow you've become used to the smell of his cigar and it even managed to calm you down every time you smelled it. Is this what they call a 'secondhand smoker'? Possibly.

"What? Not sleep?"

"Exactly that."

"Sorry. I really tried." You sighed. "I guess the stress is just..."

"Yeah, yeah. Excuses, excuses." He looked like he was thinking for a second. "You, go to sleep now and I'm going to do the rest of your shift." You immidiately started shaking your head.

"No, no, no I cannot ask you to do that."

"You're not asking Bub." He insisted.

"No, Logan. I can't just-" You got stopped by him pushing your head down on his lap so it was resting on it, with your face in the direction of the fire. "-Wha... What are you doing?"

"You're sleeping here then. " Logan said in a serious tone and let out another cloud of smoke. "And you don't have a right to disagree. If you do I am going to make you pass out by myself."

"Oh is tha-" You were about to make a dirty joke but he stopped you midway.

"Don't you dare." You giggled and turned your head so you could look up at him.

"Sorry." You weren't sorry at all. You started playing with the buttons of his plaid. He observed you with one eyebrow raised. "Don't mind me." You added when you noticed him staring. The heat of his body radiated to you and you felt secure. "Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you like me?"

"Why do you ask?"

"No reason."

"Well..." He sighed. "You are a bratty kid and sometimes you make me want to kill myself but I could never tell you I hate you so I guess you could say that I like you." You smirked.

"Awe... Alright. Let's say... I'm dying and the only way to save me is to kiss me. Would you do that?" He chocked on air.

"What kind of question is that?!" He looked down at you confused as all hell.

"A weird one. C'mon anwser me. Do you like me enough to save me in that scenario? Be honest. I can take it." He went silent for some time, thinking about the anwser.

"Yes. I would." He finally said. "But please don't die. Just because I said I would doesn't mean I want to." He smirked.

"Wooooow. Mean." He laughed and ran a hand through your hair although he didn't seem to realize what he was doing until he was half way through. You looked at him surprised and so did he. "Uh..."

"Shit. Sorry."

"No, no, no. Please continue. That felt good." You leaned against his palm. He let his hand roam your scalp gently.

You didn't know when exactly did you fell asleep but you woke up next to Kitty in your tent.

It was time.

-------

You couldn't believe it. You did it.

The mission was a succes and now you were in the jet again, ready to return home. You were smiling the whole way back.

"I told you it'll all go well." Logan smiled at you and ruffled your hair.

"Yeah but just because I had the best teacher in the world." You grinned.

~fin

[walnut-kyun]

Save Me: Part I

(Within this pitch black darkness, you are shining so brightly.)

When caught in a web of despair, loneliness, pain, and denial, one can feel the echoing tremors of those suffering with them.

Pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook

give me your hand before i fall, fall...

          Seoul Station is unbearably hot in August. The sun mercilessly beats through the glass ceiling panels and people fan themselves with rolled up train schedules.

          Taehyung has long since divested himself of as many articles of clothing as he can (in public at least), but he still feels the sharp prickle of sweat on his hairline and under the collar of his t-shirt. All he can think about is the air-conditioned train that is ten minutes away: the compartment doors sliding open and the sweet coolness that will momentarily steal his breath. He licks away a bead of sweat. It can’t come soon enough.

          He’s been in Seoul for two months, attending a summer business program at Yonsei University. He doesn’t go to Yonsei, but his parents bought the university bumper sticker anyway. “Our son is a SKY student,” they’d proudly tell the neighbors, forgetting (or ignoring) the fact that come autumn, he’ll be back at a Daegu community college.

          Although he had fully enjoyed the program, Taehyung was looking forward to coming home. He missed the narrow roads, the rusty telephone poles, children in brightly colored jackets playing outside while their weary mothers watched from the windows. He missed Soonsim and his grandmother and soft beds and home-cooked japchae. He was glad he was finally leaving Seoul. Except… except – Taehyung glances over his shoulder to sneak a peek at a dark-haired man leaning against a pillar in the shade.

          Jungkook was the youngest participant in the program, not even having begun university yet, but he exuded an authority that made everyone respect him. Maybe it was his confident smile and firm handshake during mock negotiations; maybe it was the easy way he talked to everyone in the group. Maybe, thinks Taehyung with a little shiver despite the heat, it was also the way he looked in his dark suit and serious eyebrows, hair messily parted to the right.

          They had been paired to do their final presentation on market analysis. Jungkook naturally took the lead, assigning Taehyung things to research and slides to prepare. Even though he was older and had already taken university-level courses, Taehyung was intimidated by his partner’s self-assurance and straightforward attitude. He fumbled over words; he misspelled; he often got distracted during their designated study periods. He knew Jungkook was irritated by his erratic work habits, but the younger man kept his annoyance hidden, save for a thin frown of disapproval every time he found Taehyung doing something else.

          But on the sixth week, Jungkook snapped. “Are you aware,” he said through gritted teeth, yanking Taehyung’s earbuds out, “that we’re presenting tomorrow and we haven’t even finished putting our slides together yet? We still need to have it approved and do a practice run-through and it’s already six o’ clock. What are you doing?”

          Taehyung meekly switched tabs from YouTube, where he’d been watching baby animal videos, to their presentation. “Sorry,” he muttered.

          Jungkook sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Even through his embarrassment, Taehyung’s gaze drifted to the muscle twitching in Jungkook’s sharp jawline before quickly looking at the wall.

          “It’s fine,” Jungkook said, colorlessly. “Let’s just get this over with.”

          Taehyung couldn’t sleep that night. The beds had always been too hard and narrow, and the moonlight slinking through the window stamped unsettling shapes on the ceiling. The silence was punctuated only by his roommate’s snores.

          He lay on the too-hard mattress, hands folded on his stomach, and thought about the way Jungkook’s mouth hung slightly open when he was concentrating on something and how his eyes, usually hard and stern, still managed to look round and innocent.

          Despite being popular and well-liked, Jungkook tended to keep to himself. He turned down multiple invitations to sit with the others during meals, and sat alone to play games on his phone. He roomed in a single since there was an odd number of males in the group and he was the youngest. Taehyung had never seen him talk to anyone outside of workshops and classes. Jungkook looked strong, but when they brushed their teeth next to each other in the morning, Jungkook’s face puffy with sleep and his hair a mess, Taehyung saw a young boy afraid to leave home and begin university. He saw a lonely boy.

           Taehyung sighed. Sleep was not coming. He rolled off the bed and quietly put on a jacket and his shoes, and slipped out of the room without waking his roommate. He liked walking around campus at night and seeing the ivy-covered buildings and neatly clipped hedges lining the paths. As he was passing the back of the dorm, he heard a distressed series of chirps. Shining his phone towards the base of a tree, he cried out upon seeing a baby bird, pink, wrinkly, and barely a few days old, feebly stirring on the grass. Acting purely on emotion, Taehyung crouched down and gently scooped up the bird in his large hands. It squeaked. Its eyes hadn’t even opened yet.

          He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there, or even that he was crying, until footsteps approached and Jungkook, blending into the night in his black hoodie and sweatpants, knelt beside him. “Are you crying?” he asked in an uncharacteristically soft voice.

          Taehyung hastily wiped tears away with his free hand. “I’m not.”

          Jungkook noticed the baby bird in Taehyung’s hand. His eyes widened and he glanced up to look for the solid mass of a nest among the thin web of branches. “Did it–” he began. Taehyung nodded. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes. Then Jungkook placed a hesitant hand on Taehyung’s back and moved it in small circles.

          “You really like baby animals, huh?”

          Taehyung hiccupped. “Yeah.” Pause. “My grandma lives on a farm, and I used to visit her every summer. She had a lot of farm animals. I liked the cows.” He turned to face Jungkook, who kept his hand on Taehyung’s back. “Do you have any pets?”

          Jungkook smiled, a little embarrassed. “Uh, I once had a goldfish when I was five, but I think I overfed it and it died.”

          Taehyung made a sound between a laugh and a sob. “I have a dog named Soonsim. She’s really sweet.” He unlocked his phone and scrolled through his photo gallery. “This is when she was a puppy.” More scrolling. “This is when I said bye to her before I came here.” He handed the phone over to Jungkook who smiled.

          “You guys are really cute,” he murmured. “You’re from Daegu, right?”

          Taehyung nodded, mind reeling that out of thirty other students, Jungkook remembered where he was from.

          “Yeah, I can tell,” Jungkook laughed, finally sitting down next to the older man. “You’re not that good at Seoul dialect; sometimes you slip up and say something in satoori.”

          Taehyung glared at him. “You speak in satoori too!”

          “I don’t try to hide it though. There’s a difference,” he said, smirking.

          Taehyung’s heart skipped a beat. “You sing!” he blurted out, thankful the night hid his reddening face. Jungkook looked slightly panicked that someone had heard his singing.

          "Oh, uh, yeah I do... sometimes... I didn’t think anyone could hear me though.”

          “It’s okay, my roommate does it too,” Taehyung hastily said, trying to dispel the awkwardness. “And I only heard you once!” In truth, he spent almost every night creepily lingering outside Jungkook’s door to hear the young man sing. He had a lovely voice that was tinged with sorrow even while singing the happiest songs. “You’re really good,” he added.

          “I, uh... I’ve heard you sing too,” Jungkook admitted with a shy smile. “You were belting out this absurd trot song in the shower at like, 3am.”

          Taehyung laughed. “My grandma played a lot of trot when I visited her.” 

          “Maybe you should just quit school and become a trot singer.”

          “Maybe I will.”

          They sat like this until the sky was tinged with an imperceptible pink and the bird stopped moving in Taehyung’s hand. They found a quiet corner, behind some bushes, and covered the bird with leaves. They walked back to the dorm. They stared at each other, not saying anything but thinking many things. They mumbled quiet goodnights. They did their presentation in the morning. They separated again and that was the last time Taehyung spoke to Jungkook.

          Over the loudspeakers in Seoul Station, a voice announces that the train will be arriving in a minute. Taehyung puts his backpack on, grimacing at the extra heat created between the straps and his sweaty back. He moves toward the platform edge, determined to get a good seat. He is going back to Daegu, and Jungkook is going back to Busan. They will probably never see each other again. That’s just how it is. It doesn’t stop a small twinge of regret from flitting across his heart.

          Just as he sees the train pulling into the station, a traveler with a huge duffel bag on his back jostles his way in front of Taehyung, knocking him off balance. Taehyung’s mind instantly goes blank and his arms shoot out to grab onto anything, but his hands find only air. He feels his stomach falling, like the time he rode the Tower of Death, and blood rushes in his ears. Everything has blurred – the bright sky, the glinting chrome of the station pillars, the oncoming train headlight. He is acutely aware of the feel of the platform edge slipping under the soles of his sneakers.

          Women scream as they realize what is happening. Men stand and watch in horror. I’m going to die, Taehyung thinks. He squeezes his eyes shut.

          There is a sudden strong, almost painful pull on his arm, and his eyes fly open, believing the train has hit him. But there is a rush of hot, gritty air and a dizzying blur as he is spun away from the tracks and into a pair of lean, muscular arms. 

          Jungkook’s eyes wildly roam Taehyung’s body, looking for signs of injury. When they find none, his eyes meet Taehyung’s. They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. Jungkook’s breathing is heavy and his hair is slicked back with sweat. Taehyung is held tightly against Jungkook’s shoulder; their faces are within a three-inch proximity. If he leaned up a little, he could- no.

          “Are you okay,” Jungkook whispers, the sound carrying despite the noise of the train station.

          “Y-yeah,” Taehyung stammers, distracted by how close Jungkook’s bow-shaped lips are to his own. “I-I’m fine.”

          Jungkook makes no move to let Taehyung go. They stay standing like this as people part around them like a stream of water flows around a rock.

          “That was really stupid,” Jungkook croaks hoarsely, “to stand so close to the platform edge.” He pulls Taehyung closer, and they ignore each other’s damp t-shirts. “But thank God you’re okay.”

          “I’m okay,” Taehyung mumbles into Jungkook’s neck, grateful the blush spreading across his face is hidden. “Thank you. Thank you for saving me.”