#also i just read a comment that said that said iu is supposed to be deaf and mute and v is blind | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

missartus · 4 years ago

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Merry Christmas!

Figured that I should write a post at Christmas, given all the chaos that’s been 2020 lol. Well, for one, Covid’s still here and so it’s still been pretty hard for everyone. Personally, my Christmas obviously changed in a way that it’s more chill this time around. Not that I’m complaining ‘cause this is probably my most preferred way of celebrating the holidays, but I’d rather have a chill Christmas because I wanted it and not because the circumstances forced us to. I didn’t even bother to dress up nor put on some makeup because I was really lazy to do so, and to be honest, the Christmas spirit isn’t really as felt this time around. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who feels this.

Anyway, I didn’t really intend to make a depressing post LOL. It’s the other way around, actually. I’ve been meaning to write something for a few days now but I’ve been lazy. I actually wanted to say that given all the chaos, thankfully I had a couple of things that kept me sane. They’re mostly new hobbies and interests, and some may come off as a shock, even. So here are my life updates so far. A list of things that helped me survive 2020 😌

Baking

It started with a box of pancake mix. A few months back, I was supposed to make some pancakes for an afternoon snack, but then I was kinda tired with eating pancakes that I wondered if there is any other way I can turn that mix into. I eventually ended up with these hard chocolate turnovers lmao. After that, I was suddenly baking almost every week. So far, I’ve baked coffee buns, lemon bars, pandesal!, pound cakes, cookies (ofc), and cinnamon rolls. I’m targeting to go for naked cakes but I am yet to buy an electric mixer. For someone who hates measurements and all, it’s a shock for me to be into baking. But it’s been so therapeutic for me. The kneading of the dough, the whisking, mixing, the rise, the waiting on the oven — so zen. I guess, it’s cause it keeps my mind off of things, and whenever I bake, I’m just so focused on what I’m doing. So it’s like, I’m in my own bubble of productivity for a long while. Also, I’d say it kinda helps with my self-esteem, as baking has allowed me to prove to myself that I can do something delish. Whenever I look at the finished products, I couldn’t believe that I, me, Mich, me, did that! I think that happened when I made pandesals and when I really liked the cinammon rolls. I was like, “Omg, I can’t believe I did this!” Aside from my fam, I’ve sent a few of my pastries to friends as well, and some say that I should start a business already lol. But that’s so far from my mind right now. I mean, I’d want to, in the future. But not sometime soon. I still want to enjoy this season where I’m plainly learning and enjoying the process of baking. I don’t, and am not, prepared for the pressure and hassle of it all yet. 🤪

Workout

I’ve been working out for a few years now but I wasn’t as consistent as how I’ve been the past couple of months. I used to workout every freaking day, but lately it would just be about thrice or four times a week. My past blog posts would give you a hint about my relationship with my body and food. It hasn’t been really nice in general, but working out really does help me improve my mindset towards my body image. Admittedly, I began working out because I wanted to lose weight, but eventually (and thankfully), it transformed into me working out because it makes me strong and it benefits my mental health a lot. I do a variety, although most times I’d do cardio, then I’ll just pair it up with either weights or another round of cardio but dance.

The process has been fun, and I don’t really pressure myself or limit myself when it comes to food. I still eat whatever’s there, but right now it’s all portion control, really. In all fairness, I think because I’ve been working out, my appetite isn’t as huge as it used to be. I get fuller fast these days, and I rarely binge-eat, unless I re-stock on Korean grocery food hahahaha. Anyway speaking of Korean, here’s my last interest update...

BTS

Yup. As in that K-pop boyband. As in Bangtan Sonyeondan. As in that band who’s taking over the world. What a plot twist, right? I’ve never been into K-pop to begin with, so BTS (and eventually, K-pop in general) is probably my biggest musical plot twist so far. I initially was supposed to write a whole separate blog post about this (because that’s how OBSESSED I AM WITH BTS) but I figured that I’ll just include them in this “life update” entry. But for real, it began back in October, when I saw this screenshot of RM’s WeVerse comment/reply to a fan. I’m pasting it here for reference lol.

For some reason, I was really impressed after seeing this. I’ve known the band for a while already. I know how big they are and I even have friends who are huge fans. I’ve seen a couple of their online content in the past as well, but I think it was this image that made me really realize why they’ve been getting so much attention and why their fanbase just keeps on growing. This was the first time that I “got it”, if you know what I mean. Anyway, a bit after that my ARMY friends messaged me and I was immediately swooped into the world of BTS. I don’t regret any of it though haha! I have so much feelings about this topic (lololol) but I’ll try to hold back. Who knows, I might continue with that separate blog post anyway 💁‍♀️ My bias is Namjoon (my goodness, this man is such a dream), while my bias wrecker is Jimin. Although I think my bias wrecker changes everyday now lmao. 😂 I’ll say this though, it wasn’t their pretty faces that got me. If anything, I think that really comes as secondary, because what made me an Army was their talent, their story, and their character. These boys are really men of substance, and their songs and advocacy can attest to how principled they are. Their songs have also helped me so much as I am still in the process of improving myself, my mental health, and all these introspective things. I remember this one time where I bawled my eyes out when I was reading through the English translation of Answer: Love Myself. In a year when I almost lost myself again due to how depressing this year was, it feels good to root for something, or in this case, someone, and see them flourish in success. They really started at the bottom, and I guess in a way their story also inspires me to keep on doing what I’m doing, knowing that someday, everything will make sense and I’ll finally make it.

BTS also led me to listen to other K-pop acts as well such as Day6 (another fave!), Monsta X, Shinee, IU, Henry, and BlackPink (very recently hahaha) Ok, I’ll stop right there. 😬 Funny how I just cannot get the K-pop hype for so many years, and now I’m genuinely enjoying it. It’s become my go-to work soundtrip also as I don’t get carried away by singing along to the lyrics as, ofc, it’s in a different language lol.

Plants

I remember last year when my colleagues at work gave me this plant and they assured me that it won’t die but it did. It kinda made me think that I don’t have a green thumb and that I can never maintain a plant. But guess what, I have about 7 plants now and THEY’RE ALL THRIVING SO WELL. I’m so invested in these plant babies and I’m so proud of myself that they’re all so alive and doing well. There were some scares, I admit. Like this one time when I attempted to re-pot my Syngonium Arrowhead and it almost died lol but I re-did it and thankfully it resurrected hahahahaha. Again, just like what I said about BTS and my baking, my plants are also testament to how it feels nice to root for (no pun intended) something and see them thrive, and how it feels so satisfying and reassuring to see something that I’ve been taking care of live healthy and happy.

So yeah, there’s that.

Those are what my life has been circling around these days. As I’ve said, I’m very grateful that I got into these things, little as they may seem as compared to others. But hey, they make me happy, and I think at this point in time, as long as something makes you happy and sane, that’s all that matters. You do you, girl. Wow, I can’t believe that I wrote this long. It’s been a while since I did! Anyway, I’m gonna end this here now as it’s getting late and I still have stuff to do.

Merry Christmas!

#rantsandjoys

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bangtan-for-life · 5 years ago

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📻 VLIVE • 슙디의 꿀 FM 06.13 with RM #0613FM_0502

Translation Thread: Shup-D's Kkul FM 06.13 #0613FM_0502

SUGA invites Namjoon as his special guest for today’s Kkul FM 06.13. They end the vlive with a photo of them together posted on Twitter.

200502. SUGA’S KKUL FM 06.13 Opening ment "May makes me feel happy for no reason. It makes me think that the weather is particularly nicer today and that the children passing by on the street, giggling, are cuter. It makes me have the courage to say ‘I love you’ to the parents,+ https://t.co/vAT3hUveTN

— doolset🍊 (@doolsetbangtan)

May 2, 2020

They confirm they went strawberry picking all together at Jin's uncle's farm. Jin shares strawberries with them often. RM muses they probably need to apologise to Jin's uncle for picking them wrong; SG says it isn't their career path, so.

— wisha⁷ (@doyou_bangtan)

May 2, 2020

For this segment of reading aloud, they're sharing the Korean folktale "The Hare's Liver." Read the synopsis here: https://t.co/UfI6ExForj

— wisha⁷ (@doyou_bangtan)

May 2, 2020

Agust D 2: It was supposed to be released in September last year, but after listening to it again, he felt it to be lacking. So he's redoing parts of it and working hard on it, but he says we shouldn't expect it too soon.

— wisha⁷ (@doyou_bangtan)

May 2, 2020

RM says IU ft. SUGA's song 'Eight' is perfect for a drive. The book he's enjoyed the most recently is "Steve Jobs". He made friends by handing out gum after lunch as a kid. He doesn't simply just miss us, it's to the point he bawls when he hears Spring Day.

— wisha⁷ (@doyou_bangtan)

May 2, 2020

🐨 A quote I like these days; there’s an artist called James Thurber, and among what that ajuhssi said, there’s a quote, “Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.” I’m being serious all of a sudden, but we often look back in anger. For us, + https://t.co/OKOuUzqoL8

— doolset🍊 (@doolsetbangtan)

May 2, 2020

💜 I miss you. 🐱 We also miss you SO MUCH. I want to do concerts SO, SO MUCH. 🐨 It’s not just 'missing you' but like, I cry when listening to Spring Day. I'd hear ‘bogoshipda’ and cry immediately. 🐱 He said he cries listening to Spring Day😂 🐨 I'd bawl immediately, for real. https://t.co/qFHR6r0JKo

— doolset🍊 (@doolsetbangtan)

May 2, 2020

More on IU ft. SUGA's 'Eight': SG said the song making process was smooth, without much need for a continuous give-and-take between them [to discuss, try different variations, make changes]. He sent her a beat and she quickly sent back a melody. +

— wisha⁷ (@doyou_bangtan)

May 2, 2020

SG shared that he doesn't listen to a track much between the period "it leaves his hands" and it's released to the public as he can only hear regrettable choices that were made. He believes it's owned by the public the moment he lets go. However, he's listening to 'Eight' often.

— wisha⁷ (@doyou_bangtan)

May 2, 2020

As they said goodbye to us, RM said he'd be happy to return for Kkul FM, and SG asked us to use the hashtag #0613FM_0502 to upload our comments/thoughts about today's session onto Twitter so they could take them into consideration for the next Saturday.

— wisha⁷ (@doyou_bangtan)

May 2, 2020

200502 SUGA's KKUL FM 06.13 Ending ment "For BTS, May was the calm before the storm where we were repeating our title track, day and night. It was an overflowing passion, with which we jumped and played with ARMYs at stadiums where we could see the sky. It was the beginning of+ https://t.co/X95J5ZsUAT

— doolset🍊 (@doolsetbangtan)

May 2, 2020

후 파이팅 넘쳤다 #0613FM_0502 pic.twitter.com/7OSpQz934x

— 방탄��년단 (@BTS_twt)

May 2, 2020

#tl_side #2020 #vlive #kkul fm #suga #namjoon #reverse #2020 may

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letsflytoasiarenata · 7 years ago

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Hello ! I accidentally found your blog after seeing your post about criminal minds and It's great to see another Lee Joon Gi fans ^^. I hope it's not sounds weird, but what's your opinion about his breakup with Jeon Hye Bin ? I've seen most people put the blame on him, said that he's a jerk / bad boyfriend for not defending her. I believe he want to defend her but his agency probably won't allow him since there's a chance it will backfire and both of them end up getting more hate (1/2)

(2/2) If I want to be honest this year is not really great for Lee Joon Gi, he’s getting hate from the ear candy thing and now people blame him for the breakup. I also felt bad to Jeon Hye Bin since she’s didn’t deserve to get hate just for dating him but people should stop placing blame on him 100% when they didn’t know what really happened -_-. Most of people who blame him are either non fans or antis so I’m not really surprised. I’m sorry this getting too long ^^;

Hi, fellow LJK fan!

I was legit sad when I found about their break up. Honestly, I thought that they're this kind of couple that date only to get engaged after some time, I was rooting for a happy marriage, but look how it turned out.

Oh, I read these comments, well a couple of the under soompi article and then I closed the page bc I couldn't bear to read more of it. I really hate when people are so confident that they're right and see the truth. Of course, I can't see the whole image and I don't know what actually happened, however, I doubt that neither of them are bad people especially Lee Jun Ki, because I'm following his career for some time. After reading his interviews and just simply analyzing his behavior, he seems to be a very nice guy with very amiable personality. I don't know why people always tend to paint him as a villain. They accused him of breaking IU up with her ex boyfriend, then it turned out that interacting with women and being friendly with them is a crime and now he is a bad guy and bad boyfriend.

About not defending JHB. Well, he has been protecting her all these years by keeping their relationship in secret. What he could do? Say smth like "oh, fans, please love her" or "how dare you to trash her?", both variants would have worked and, as you said, would have backfired. In modern society we are supposed to be mature by the default, there shouldn't be problems like fans' acceptance of significant others of their fav. They don't owe us anything and how much time should pass to make people understand such a simple concept?

JHB didn't deserve any of these, it was absolutely disgusting and unacceptable. I hope their break up wasn't a result of LJK's fans' behavior otherwise it's just absolutely terrible.

Once again, we don't know what happened, it's none of our business. I'm just sad that it ended like this. I'm sad that he's alone again and that JHB has been through so much hate when she literally did nothing wrong.

I really hope that both of them will find their happiness. I also hope that LJK's future relationship will be successful and bring him lots of love and peace.

Don't apologize. I rarely get asks so I'm always happy to talk, especially about LJK.

#asks #anonymous

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winetae · 8 years ago

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⇁ paper doll | 01

⚬ pairing⇁Jungkook x Reader

⚬ genre⇁drama, slight angst, smut || idol+singer-songwriter!au

⚬ warnings⇁sex, language

⚬ word count⇁4.7k

When the nation’s little sister, IU, gets into a huge scandal, your agency seizes the opportunity to thrust you into that now vacant spotlight. Your self-composed song Paper Doll becomes an overnight sensation, and soon people are itching to find out who was the one who broke your heart. All hell breaks loose once netizens discover that you used to date popular idol, Jeon Jungkook. Little do they know that it wasn’t him who left the relationship unscathed — it was you.

↳ alternatively: a story on the consequences of a hit break-up song

::00::01::02

↳ in which all it takes is for one news article to turn your life upside-down

a/n; i haven’t even been on tumblr for a week and askdjjj I can’t believe how many people liked pt. i – also, I know absolutely nothing about songwriting or music theory, or anything really, so this is me bullshitting my way through 4k words that i haven’t proofread

You associated every song of yours to a specific time and place.

The whimsical cluster chords that opened up Blue Afternoon made you think of the view from your window last spring. Looking down on the busy streets of Seoul from your flat, a crowding of umbrellas had danced to the sound of heavy rain, and you had been immediately struck with a melody line.

That was your favorite part of songwriting—that moment when you finally had something, after having absolutely nothing.

Ironically enough, out of all the songs on your album, you disliked Paper Doll the most.

Even before it had been propelled to the top of the music charts, the song had never been a favorite. The melody line was catchy but predictable, with the most common chord progressions and an overproduced chorus. The people reviewing your songs during the album production had all loved it, however, and they had adamantly decided to push it as a title track.

It was amusing how people presumed the song described a devastating heartbreak between you and your first love. They weren’t exactly wrong, but their interpretation was completely off. Still, you weren’t stupid enough to disapprove their theories. If they wanted to believe that your first boyfriend was a heartless playboy, then that wasn’t your problem.

At least you had never thought it would have to be a problem.

Taeyi, your personal manager, had thrust her tablet into your unsuspecting hands, without any kind of explanation.

“Exclusive!” popped up in bold black letters, immediately followed by your name and his. You paused, wavering. Taeyi unnie responded by raising her eyebrows.

You skimmed the article. Some fragments stood out; “insider tells all”, “they used to date for a long time”, “totally changed personality once he got popular”. You weren’t quite sure what to make of it. There wasn’t any concrete proof supporting these claims but the thousands of upvotes in the comments proved people didn’t need much convincing. The damage was done.

“You two have been number one on real-time search since the news got published,” Taeyi said in an even tone. You knew her well enough now to know she was in reality delighted about this exposure. “And your song is back to number one! Even bangtan’s song climbed back up the charts.”

Pretending you hadn’t finished reading gave you a few extra seconds to make sure your expression didn’t betray any of your thoughts. Handing back the tablet, you shrugged, trying to appear unaffected.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does. Don’t even try to deny it. BTS have a huge international following. This is an amazing opportunity to get your name out there,” she grinned toothily. “I didn’t even know you dated him! How could you not tell me?”

You let out a noncommittal hum, attention focused on a chipped nail.

“You know,” she said, pushing her tablet back into her bag. “I’ve known you since you signed with the company, but you’re – how should I say this? You’re still so private. It’s okay to open up, you know. We’re close, right?”

“Of course, unnie.” You smiled making sure your eyes crinkled. “You always take good care of me. It’s just… I don’t like talking about him. To anyone. I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” she hurried to say, giving you a sympathetic look. “First love break-ups are the worst. Believe me, I know.”

She laughed, “Huh, I guess karma really does exist. He’s going to get what he deserves for making you cry like that.”

“Jungkook…” It felt strange finally saying his name, after so many days and nights refusing to. “We just weren’t meant to be, I guess. He’s not a bad person.”

“You’re too nice,” she cooed. “Regardless, I think it’s best if you don’t mention him at all, even if you’re asked. We have to wait for the PR to give out official statements.”

“Mm, got it.” That you could do. You were a master in the art of side-stepping questions you wanted left unanswered.

You bit your lip, trying hard not to think about the consequences that one successful song had caused. What would happen to Jungkook? You weren’t supposed to worry about him anymore but the article was already having a huge impact.

You would never admit it, but you thought of Jungkook often. Not on purpose, though. Never on purpose. You just happened to associate him with the song you performed the most. Paper Doll had become such a big hit, it was the one song you could not escape singing. No matter the occasion—festival, broadcast, concert—Paper Doll had always taken center stage.

And every single time you sang the same sad lyrics, you could only vividly recall his crushed expression the day you had broken up. In the middle of performances you would suddenly remember the tremble in his voice asking you to stay. Some might say this helped you tune into the emotions of the song, but it only distracted you, a sharp reminder of what had been.

As with all your other songs, you could remember the exact time and place you had written the piece.

The first year without Jungkook had been disorienting. It was then you realized how much you had depended on him.

But there had been no time to dwell on it, not when you had been so immersed in your work, fingers bleeding from playing the guitar too much, throat scratching because of strain. Sometimes, right before you had fallen asleep and had nothing to distract yourself with, you had toyed with the possibility of never having ended things between the two of you. And sometimes, trivial things would remind you of him, despite doing your best to move on.

Jungkook would always remind you of spring. The day you two had met, and the day you had left, it was all just one big cycle, beginning and ending in spring.

It had been a year or so since your break-up. On the day of what would have been your fourth anniversary, you made your way nostalgically to Seoul Forest, searching for the tree you two had spent so much time under back when Jungkook hadn’t been as popular. Instead of practicing your singing like you should have, you had spent hours under the cherry blossom. All around you petals had covered the grass like soft snow. You could recall wondering where Jungkook was, wondering what he was doing and how he felt. You had tried your best to see things through his eyes. Lyrics, for once, had come naturally.

It was the birth of a hit song that would become number one for three consecutive weeks.

You would never have guessed how much trouble this song would cause back then. You worried your lower lip, thinking of the person all of it revolved around.

Impulsively, you took out your phone and typed in a message. Without thinking twice, you pressed send.

[you] hey jungkook, it’s me. i’m guessing you saw the news. can we talk ?

Right away you regretted your decision. What were you thinking? You had left him and now you were the one contacting him.

You saw he had read your message. He’s just going to ignore it, you thought. Anybody else would have, probably. Being ignored was embarrassing but you could live through it. You had been through worse. It was normal to ignore your ex-girlfriend, right? Jungkook had been your only boyfriend. You weren’t certain there were any rules regarding how to act with ex-boyfriends.

[jungkook] what do you want

No ‘hello’ you could understand. You weren’t exactly on the best of terms. But there was hostility in his message that you weren’t used to. Back when you had been dating, he had always, without fail, ended his messages with an emoticon of some kind. You weren’t expecting him to send you hearts or smiley faces. But. The memory of the past and the reality of the present collided, making you frown.

You worried he was angry with you. Did the news really get him into a lot of trouble? You texted back quickly.

[you] can you meet up?

You weren’t sure if that was appropriate, but you also didn’t want to discuss things over the phone. BTS were so popular and you had heard crazy stories of stalker fans, ones that were able to hack into your computer servers or eavesdrop on phone conversations.

[jungkook] Send me the address

It took less than an hour for Jungkook to appear in front of your door. You had hurriedly let him up to your apartment, afraid someone in your complex might recognize him.

You saw his gaze flicker around your apartment, soaking it in, and you suddenly realized he had never seen it. You had only moved in two months ago, after your new found fame had allowed you to move into a bigger place.

“This was a bad idea,” he sighed in frustration. “God, what was I thinking?”

You watched him rub his hand behind his neck. It had been so long, but you could still decipher his body cues easily.

“Do you want some tea?” you asked, trying to calm his nerves.

“Tea? Really?“ His tone was unexpectedly derisive, causing you to frown.

“Well forgive me for trying to be civil,” you said, jaw clenching.

“Civil?” he scoffed, eyes narrowing. “You can save your fake act for the others. It’s not like I don’t know what you’re really like.”

“What I’m really like?” You gaped at him, disbelief putting a halt to your anger.

He wet his bottom lip, eyes still narrowed and focused on you with a look of resentment that was unfamiliar and unwelcome.

“You’re telling me you invited me to your place so you could serve me tea and ask me how my day went?” he accused.

“I just-” You swallowed. Why had you? You were starting to really regret your hasty decision. “What’s wrong with tea?”

He was not amused.

“I mean, it does sound weird when you put it into words, but I really did worry about you. I’m…” The rest of your sentence was left unfinished. Words failed you. Panicking, you swallowed again, switching tactics. “Why did you even come here? What were you expecting then? Tell me what’s not living up to your expectations.”

You regarded one another, seizing each other up, not saying anything else.

It was strange seeing Jungkook stand in the middle of your living room. He looked so out of place admist the shiny furniture, like he didn’t belong in your world. And that thought—that he no longer fit seemlessly in your life - left a dull pain in your chest.

On the mantle several awards you had received were all lined up. On the walls, there were large pictures of you taken by famous professional photographers. All of it attested to the changes that had occurred during your separation. Before, you had been just a girl with a secret passion for music, working part time at a pizza restaurant, whilst Jungkook had been a trainee who loved pizza with extra cheese on top.

Two years had passed. The physical changes were also undeniable. Jungkook’s shoulders were broader, his features more masculine. Edges had replaced the baby fat, his jaw sharp and strong. You could tell just by glancing at him that he worked out. A lot. He had always been handsome but the way he looked now… You gulped, throat dry. You shouldn’t even be thinking of him that way. Those kind of thoughts weren’t allowed.

You had never liked rules.

It wasn’t hard to detect that the tension between the two of you had intensified, making you dizzy. Why had he come? He seemed to hate you. But he had come all this way. His dorm wasn’t even that close to your apartment, so he must have hurried.The thought thrilled you.

“You wanted to see me,” you insisted, stepping closer to him. “You came all the way here.”

His gaze was still fixed on you, but had taken on a hungrier look. His silence almost made you falter but you steeled yourself. You wanted to finally give in to the craving that you had tried for so long to ignore.

Your eyes met. His expression warned you to keep your distance. You stepped closer. “I know you, Jungkook.”

Hearing his name fall from your lips set him off. He closed the remaining centimeters between your bodies, and suddenly his lips were on yours and it was like everything made sense again.

Since he had arrived, you had been noticing and listing all the differences between the Jungkook that was familiar to you and the one in front of you. But now you knew no matter how much had changed, the feeling of his lips on yours would remain the same. He wasn’t home, not anymore, but you took comfort in this consistency.

You felt yourself heating up rapidly; his hands roaming confidently, his nose brushing against the side of your neck, painting your skin with wet kisses. He was overwhelming, the smell sandalwood and musk enveloping you. His right arm stable and secure, wrapped around your waist, kept you from melting into a puddle on the ground. You wanted to reciprocate with the same amount of passion, but it was increasingly difficult to focus on anything other than the feel of his hands on your body, cold hands mapping out the distance from your breasts to the curves of your hips. You barely remembered how to breathe.

He bit your bottom lip right then, drawing a breathy moan from you.

Everything seemed to escalate quickly from there.

Clothes were shed, falling carelessly to the floor. The kissing had become more urgent; lips pressed down hard into yours, bruising. Jungkook’s movements were almost desperate, but you tried your best to keep up with his tempo. You wondered if he felt rushed because he wanted you just as bad, or if he wanted to get you out of his system as soon as he could.

You barely had the time to appreciate his new form, when he suddenly had you pinned to the back of the sofa, bending you over in a practiced move. He paused and you shuddered in anticipation.

Running a finger over your slit, he groaned appreciatively. He slid a finger in easily. You were slightly embarrassed at the slick sounds that resounded in the room, but you stopped caring once he eased in a second digit.

“So wet,” you barely heard him mutter in awe over the sound of the loud squelches.

“Please, Kook,” you whined, wiggling your hips back in a silent plea.

“Ah fuck.” He increased the pace of his thrusts, and you moaned brokenly.

Begging had always been a huge turn on for him, and even in the heat of the moment you hadn’t forgotten.

“Please, Kook, please,” you pleaded, starting to get desperate. His fingers felt so, so good, but they weren’t enough. “I need you.”

“Yeah?” He sounded so satisfied with himself as he removed his wet fingers, trailing them down your thigh.

You could hear him rummage around, the sound of a foil packet tearing. Anticipation started to build somewhere low in your stomach and you rubbed your thighs together impatiently.

You felt the head of his member at your entrance. A hand came up to rub soothing circles into your skin.

“Breathe for me, yeah?”

You hadn’t realized you had been holding your breath. Your heart raced wildly. You were sure if Jungkook pressed his fingers along your ribcage he would feel the drumming of eighth notes clearly.

The stretch was almost painful. It had been such a long time since you last had sex, and Jungkook was on the larger side. As soon as he pushed in you could feel yourself trying to adjust. A unintelligible sound left you.

“Your pussy is so tight, fuck, hold on,” he hissed, teeth biting into your shoulder. “Did you not take any cock since we broke up? Mm, who would have thought.”

“Ah, Kook,” you gasped. “So big—wait.”

He ran a hand down your spine, soothing you.

“Such a good girl,” he breathed and your walls clenched. You felt his fingers dig into your side in warning.

Slowly, he tentatively started moving, pushing forwards a little more each time. Once he was completely inside you, you took in a deep breath. You could feel him reach so deep within you.

“You good?”

You hummed, moving your hips experimentally. The stretch had stopped burning and there was hardly any discomfort. It was still a bit uncomfortable, so you wanted him to start moving so it could start to feel good.

He pulled out almost completely before thrusting back in. Both of you let out loud noises of satisfaction. He quickly built a steady rhythm, hands roaming your sides, fingers sinking into your soft skin, nails scratching. Your hips kept digging into the back of the couch, but any pain only served to reduce you to a pile of mush. Distantly, you registered that the couch moved forward a little every time Jungkook went particularly hard. You couldn’t bring yourself to care. Not when it felt this good.

Above you, you could hear him groan thickly every time he pushed back in. He was going a lot faster now, no longer careful because he knew that you were warmed up enough. His thrusts were a lot more powerful than you remembered, his movement more fluid, and you wondered if that was a direct result of his exercising. You felt so full. No one made you feel better than Jungkook. His movements gave you so much pleasure it brought tears to your eyes.

“Fuck, c’mon,” he urged, his hands gripping your waist, pulling you back towards him. “That’s it, take it. Fucking take it.”

You tried hard to keep your noises to a minimum, but whimpers still escaped you.

“Ah— Kook, I think, I,“ you garbled, not sure what was up and what was down.

Every single one of your nerve endings was electrified, all tuned in to react to his touch, his voice, his mouth. With every push of his hips you felt yourself climbing higher and higher, ready for your climax to strike down. You wanted it so badly, you wanted him, you needed him.

“Fucking cum,” he snarled, his hips snapping violently, hand suddenly tangling in your hair, pulling your head back. “Be good. Go on.”

You felt your entire body vibrating, thrumming with pleasure. Jungkook’s groans sounded like growls, and hearing them panted so close to your ears made you come undone. You cried out, hands grasping the couch, trying to hold yourself up. A pleasure so devastating engulfed you whole. Your body trembled intensely, your legs finally giving out.

But Jungkook’s furious pace never stopped, and you quickly cried in oversensitivity, hand reaching back to weakly clutch his grip on your hips.

“So fucking good for me, I wanted this so much, ah fuck—“ he groaned loudly, body collapsing over you, sweat dripping and sticking to your skin.

You both stayed that way for a while. His body was heavy, but you liked having him there. It felt comforting, somehow. His musky scent engulfed you, and you could feel both your heartbeats pounding together as one. Too soon, he pushed himself off of you, putting a visible distance between the both of you.

Pulling yourself up, you blinked the lightheadedness away. When your vision had cleared, you saw that he had already pulled on his shirt.

You watched him put his black jeans back on hastily. Frowning, you straightened up, suddenly feeling self-conscious for being the only one without clothes on.

“That’s it?” you asked quietly. You wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling cold. “You’re just gonna leave like that?”

“Well, what did you expect?” You didn’t think he intended to be rude, but the words stung, regardless. “We’re on lockdown right now. I shouldn’t even have left the dorm.”

“Look,” he sighed, running his hand through his messy hair. “This shouldn’t have happened. Let’s just both forget about it. I was too stressed out… I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. A blank look replaced any expression you could have had.

“Just leave then.” You surprised yourself over how much bitterness laced your words. It was usually easy to keep a neutral tone.

He looked like he wanted to say more, but then thought better of it. He nodded and turned to go.

Your eyes didn’t leave his figure. He never glanced back.

You wondered if that was how Jungkook had felt two years ago when you had broken things off. Vulnerable, humiliated, angry, and disillusioned.

Hours later, after having taken a hot bath and dousing yourself with your favorite essential oils to replace the scent of sandalwood and sex, you felt a lot better. Jungkook could be forgotten. It was possible, you were certain. If even the strongest rocks eroded, then even Jungkook could be unrooted from your system. You just needed time and a big enough distraction.

Speaking of the devil, you had been called into a meeting regarding the scandal back at the agency. Taeyi unnie accompanied you and you were truly glad for her presence. All the important people of the company were present, including the CEO, Han Seojoon.

Out of the handful of times you had been in direct contact with him, you were always left with a negative impression. Your personal feelings didn’t matter, though. Whether you liked or disliked your boss didn’t matter, you reminded yourself.

Seojoon liked standing up during meetings. Walking around, making sure all eyes were on him at all times. As soon as you sat down, he made his way towards you. He seemed even more imposing, looming over you, making it clear that he was the predator and you would never amount to more than a prey. It was probably an intimidation tactic but that didn’t mean it wasn’t working.

“In about an hour we will release an official statement regarding the scandal your past has caused,” he announced to the room.

His wording bothered you. He made it seem like you were to blame in this entire affair. As if you were child they had to clean up after.

“In this statement we will be clarifying the so-called ‘insider claims’,” he continued, reading off a paper in front of him. “While certain aspects of these claims are true, they have been twisted in order to harm Bangtan’s Jungkook’s reputation. In truth, Jungkook was the one who helped Jihae through difficult times. Although both Jungkook and Jihae wished to tell their fans a different way, both agencies have agreed to clarify that they are in currently in a relationship as to avoid future misunderstandings. These false accusations have both greatly saddened Jungkook and Jihae who only wish to ask for your understanding.”

You could only blink.

“I don’t understand,” you said, slowly, as if trying to deny what you hard heard. “We aren’t dating.”

“Hm? As far as the public is concerned, you two have been happily dating for the past couple of years or so.”

“I don’t understand,” you repeated, cheeks heating when you caught the look Seojoon was giving you. Stupid girl, he seemed to say.

He let out a sigh.

“This was the settlement Big Hit and us have agreed upon. Having you date might get you hate from some of his fans, but it will be beneficial in the long haul. It’s been hours since the news broke out, yet both of your songs are number one and two on every music chart, despite the strong digital contenders at the moment. Your song came out last winter… it’s now back to number one. That in itself is some kind of miracle. There has also been a dramatic increase of your following on your social network accounts and you both have been trending at number one on Naver for the past couple of hours. The numbers don’t lie. There is an increased interest since your association to this Jungkook.”

He gave you a look. “You are to date him.”

“You’re kidding me, right?” You exploded. Every part of you protested, down to your bones. “I can’t! You can’t make me.”

“____!” Taeyi unnie reprimanded. “Please don’t mind her, she’s had a rough day.”

“Haven’t we all,” drawled Seojoon, impassive. “Listen here.”

He leaned in closer, closer than you were comfortable with, until you could discern the strong smell of his cologne. It burned the inside of your nostrils.

“Just because we let you write the songs you want, don’t think—even for one second—you call the shots around here.” His stare was hard, unmoving. You weren’t sure if you opened your mouth to further protest or to apologize, but Seojoon cut you off before you could let out any sound.

“Let’s be realistic here,” he smiled, leaning back. It was more of a smirk, and it was far from kind. “Girls like you are a dime a dozen. You must be aware of that. There will always be someone prettier and more talented ready to take your place. As of now you’re known as the second IU. Don’t you want to be known as ____?”

You remained silent, biting the inside of your cheek. It was irritating that he knew exactly which buttons to press, exactly which words to say to make it hurt. It was already humiliating being demeaned in front of so many important people, but what could you do? Beneath the table your knuckles turned white.

“We need to capitalize on your success while it lasts,” he continued smoothly. “A golden opportunity has presented itself to you. Will you be foolish enough to let it pass you by?”

“I’m sorry CEO-nim, I spoke out of turn,” you apologized, bowing. “Of course you know what’s best.”

He smiled. Again, it was not kind. You forced down a shiver.

“I do. I want the best for you, really I do. It benefits me to have you do well.”

You nodded, as if you agreed with him.

“You will date him,” he said with finality.

Understanding you were dismissed, you bowed again and followed Taeyi unnie out the door. She waited before you had gotten into the elevator before speaking up.

“Don’t mind what Seojoon-nim said, okay? He’s a bit harsh, but he knows what he’s doing. Dating Jungkook, or you know…” she trailed off, the words fake dating left unsaid. “Well, dating him will do you some good, I think. You’re so closed off, even to me, and dating will let you have some fun. It’s not often celebrities get told to date, you know. Consider yourself lucky! And didn’t you say he was a nice person? He’s handsome and popular, and probably rich. You really know how to pick them.”

She giggled but you had a hard time managing a smile. You could understand she was trying to make you feel better but her jokes weren’t needed at the moment. As with all your problems, you only wanted to run away from them, ignore them until you forgot about them entirely.

“I think I need to be alone for a while,” you said finally, licking your dry lips. You pressed the button for the basement where the practice room was. “Everything is a bit too much right now.”

“I understand,” she nodded, smiling. “Take all the time you need. I have some errands to run anyways. I’ll text you when I’m finished and we’ll go home.”

“That’s fine. Thank you unnie,” you said, watching her get off at the second floor.

The elevator doors closed and you were finally, finally, alone. It was almost instant, how fast your shoulders sagged and your expression darkened, knees wobbling and threatening to give out any moment.

“Fuck,” you breathed, clenching your eyes closed.

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#bangtanwriters-net #bts scenario #bts smut #jungkook smut #jungkook scenario #jungkook #bts fic #bts angst #jungkook x reader #paper doll #if this doesnt upload im gonna kermit #edit : can U TELL THIS IS MY FIRST SMUT #BC I CAN #BRB GOING TO HE L L

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kurtwarren54 · 7 years ago

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Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer)

So many of you have written me DM’s, emails, and left comments asking how we prepped for our Frozen Embryo Transfer (or FET) and I wanted to share with you what I did to prepare. By the time you get to the actual FET, it’s like you can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. I remember going in for my first appointment for to start prep for my second FET and I was literally a ball of emotions and started to hysterically cry to my nurse about the pressure of it working. You have done so much to get to this place if you have been lucky enough to get embryos from your egg retrieval. I wrote about our first failed FET here and one thing I will say is that since this was my second time around, it was easier since I knew some of the “moves.” Easier in terms of, I knew the meds, I knew the process and I knew what I needed to do to get myself in the best possible shape to welcome our little embryo into our lives. So below, I will share what I did to prep for our FET. Please note that it’s so important to come up with a plan with your doctor and that what I share is only what I did and worked for my body based on what I needed. The photos included in this post are a photo of our ACTUAL transfer. This photo marks the beginning of our little miracle baby boy and I will treasure it always.

Supplements and meds I was taking DHEA microionized and CoQ10 were supplements I took (which I bought from wholefoods). These are both longevity supplements that can help to enhance fertility. I don’t know if they made a difference personally, but it’s something I was religious about taking. I also continued to take my prenatal vitamins. Since I don’t love big pills my doctor was able to prescribe me with Vitafol Gummies with Iron. I also took 2000 IU of D3 because of a deficiency. Another supplement that was pretty unique was Trental, which I was taking was for my uterine lining. In previous cycles, I had a hard time getting my lining thick for transfer. My dr wanted to me to be close to 8mm and many times I had a hard time reaching that number and sometimes we didn’t. Something that seemed to help me was also taking Trental to help with bloodflow and to help my uterine lining grow thicker. I did the normal estrogen pills alongside of estrogen patches to also thicken my lining. Unfortunately due to adhesive sensitivities, I had to discontinue use of the patch and stick with the pills orally or vaginally (i know gross! But they absorb better vaginally). I also took 800 iu vitamin E to ensure no fluid build up that would interfere with the transfer. Since sometimes, if you have fluid buildup, it could affect your FET.

Diet I ate a TON of eggs and avocado. I tried to eat as clean as possible but I didn’t force it. If I wanted cupcakes, I had cupcakes. I think it’s all about just making your body feel its best whatever that means for you. I never did the INSANE fertility diets bc they just didn’t work for me. Some of you wrote me about fertility shakes and other diets that really worked for you but again, it wasn’t what my body needed to prepare. We are all SO different and I think the bottom line is to feel like yourself, because sometimes taking such drastic changes from your norm end up stressing you out more than helping. As far as wine, I LOVE my wine, and I wanted to enjoy some before our big transfer. I stuck to no more than 2-3 glasses a week and not all in one sitting. That is what my dr said. Honestly, I think having a glass here and there relaxed me. With this successful FET, my doctor was SHOCKED at how great my lining was. She asked what I did differently this cycle. My answer: RED WINE and lot’s of it. So funny right?! I just stopped all alcohol when I started my progesterone injections. I also decided to cut coffee(even decaf) since I have sensitivities to caffeine. This was a totally personal choice but I wanted to be EXTRA cautious. This is prob the only weird thing I did. I didn’t have decaf coffee again until probably 9 weeks pregnant bc I was paranoid.

Acupuncture I mentioned in all my blogs posts that I did acupuncture for my first egg retrieval and FET but sadly, it didn’t help me get pregnant and stressed me out more. Some people RAVE it helped them get pregnant. So just a suggestion if you are looking for something else to try, a lot of friends loved it. But again, it was not for me and I did NOT do acupuncture for my second FET.

Tips for progesterone injections I always get a lot of questions about how I manage all the injections during IVF. Honestly, my mother to this day is still so shocked and impressed with how many injections I have done to date. It’s not an easy fear to overcome… but honestly these days, needles don’t scare me one bit. But it wasn’t always like that. The progesterone injections are by far the “scariest” of the injectables because the needle is longer (about 1-1.5” long!). Just seeing the needle will make you want to faint. Or at least I wanted to the first day I opened up my box of FET medications. You get bottles of PIO (or Progesterone in Oil) that a pharmacy compounds for you. Mine were compounded in Ethyl Oleate which is apparently the most fluid of the oil compounds. You might also get yours compounded in olive oil or sesame oil. I am allergic to sesame so I had ethyl oleate. The first day of these injections I was freaking out… the needle… how was I going to survive. I read HORROR stories online of how much people hated them which was my first mistake. But in reality, the injection wasn’t the painful part for me. Yes it can be uncomfortable but the injection itself isn’t bad. It is the aftermath of the progesterone getting lump in your butt post injection that was the most painful for me. But I practiced a simple routine to help with the discomfort. I would prop myself up, standing, against our kitchen island. Blake would then use a dart like motion to quickly jab the shot into my butt cheek. He would let me know when it was almost finished (it takes a minute to injection fully because the oil is thick) and then immediately after the injection, he would take a washcloth that had been pre-soaked in hot water and then use that to massage the area of the injection for at least 30 seconds. Massaging the area rigorously helps to distribute the oil and keep it from getting lumpy. After that, I would sit on a heat pad to help also with discomfort and to distribute the oil. I did end up having a sore butt but I think the massage really did help. After the transfer, I refrained from sitting on a heat pad because I was paranoid about the heat. But those are the things I did to help me get through. In the end, the progesterone injections were not as bad as the internet made them out to be but that was my own experience. Hope these tips will help!

Shopping before FET I went to the store and bought lemons/real lemon juice in a bottle for hot water with lemon. Since I wanted to avoid all herbal tea and coffee period, I substituted in hot water with lemon to get lots of warm fluids in my body (because apparently that is great after transfer). You also want to grab all your favorite snacks and stock up on other warm foods like soup to enjoy when you first get home. Stock up on your favorite magazines too since you will be in bed on bed rest. Some people eat a lot of superstitious things but honestly I just ate as well as I could and still indulged in some of my fav treats!

Outfit the day of FET I always lay out my outfit for day of transfer. Loose fitting sweatpants that don’t squeeze the tummy, a tshirt and cozy sweater since it is usually more chilly at the office. My sweater of choice was my vintage Mickey Mouse sweater because it honestly just makes me SO happy. The key is to be comfy and not wear anything too tight fitting.

Pajamas for bedrest I always make sure to do all my laundry and pick out all my favorite cozy pajamas for my bedrest and lay them out so I don’t have to go digging for them when I am supposed to be relaxing. If you really want to treat yourself, order yourself a new “lucky” pair. I love gap body pajamas because they are super soft and really nice loose fitting. I love these two pants in particular because they don’t put any pressure on my stomach and I have worn them through my pregnancy so far.

Movies for bedrest Stock up on some of your fav feel good movies. You want to be HAPPY, CALM (I hate to type that because i literally HATED people telling me to be calm), and just overjoyed excited for little embryo that is getting all cozy inside. So many great things on netflix but if you have that one all time fav rom com that literally makes you happier than anything, do yourself a favor and download it or buy it. You deserve to feel so happy during this bedrest and anything to help will make you feel so good. I tried to stay off my laptop because you don’t want to have that heat on your abdomen after your transfer.

That’s pretty much it! I didn’t do too many crazy things honestly, but there are small simple things you can do to put your mind at ease. The bottom line is you want to be prep for some lazy, guilt-free days of bedrest and keep those positve vibes flowing as the dreaded 2WW (two week wait) begins. That time is one of the longest 2 weeks of your life and starting it with ease and being kind to your body and mind is so important. If you are prepping for a FET, wishing you nothing but zen vibes and fingers, toes, and eyeballs crossed for a successful transfer. Stay strong friends!

If you want to read more about our IVF and infertility journey, below are some links to my other blogposts:

IVF Round #1 // IVF Round #2 // IVF Book Resources

Prep for IVF Egg Retrieval // IVF Round #3

The post Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

from Wellness http://www.eatsleepwear.com/2018/05/02/prepping-fet-frozen-embryo-transfer/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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elizabethcariasa · 7 years ago

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Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer)

If you want to read more about our IVF and infertility journey, below are some links to my other blogposts:

IVF Round #1 // IVF Round #2 // IVF Book Resources

Prep for IVF Egg Retrieval // IVF Round #3

The post Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

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datingadviceonreddit · 7 years ago

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DEAR GOD GET READY FOR THIS LONG ASS SHIT STORM OF A STORY. TLDR. Does this go in r/Relationship? If you find yourself reading this, I am a girl who is in desperate need of help so I can fucking stop thinking about this crap and move on -_- Please give me your thoughts on the fucking situation that is driving me and my friends insane.DISCLAIMER: I curse a lot, and I am up to HERE raises hand up to neptune with the stress this shit has caused me. So disregard me as I release some pent up rage.OKAY. I believe both of us are in the same looks league so I won't even comment on that.Player 1: Guy, 29, caucasian, raised in southern GA. Let's call him Bill (no his name is not Bill). A musician. Omnivert, into videogames. Pisces. Bill has been single for 3 years and basically abstinent lol. NOT RELIGIOUS AT ALL. He has also been EVER SO SLOWLY healing and coming out of a depression of sorts. He also has minor anxiety issues. He has VERY high standards for almost everything, and loves 80's things.Player 2: Me, Girl, 24, caucasian hispanic, raised in Miami, FL. We'll call me Bitch becau- no... We'll call me Bear, because why the fuck not. A filmmaker/photographer. Omnivert, into videogames. Libra. I have always hung out with people older than me because I don't get along with the millenials my age -_- the're all focusing on partying while I'm trying to move forward with my career. Also I have been abused by several men (which scars to bear [get it]) so I'm very verbally forward with dudes about how I feel, but I also have mega anxiety for physical proximity.Setting: Atlanta, GAISSUE: Does my best friend like me? It's not issue if he does, BUT I just NEED to know. We have minor history and he has said no when I've asked but THE FUCKING WORLD tells me otherwise. Also, my gut tells me otherwise (sometimes), and I have no idea if I should be trying to get my flirt on or just leaving the poor kid alone because he hates me or something.Late 2015: We meet for a film project and I have this innate magnetic feeling towards him to be his friend. JUST FRIEND. Nothing more. We work on the film project and you know, it's cool. We good. We chill. Nothing interesting, nothing to see. Player 1: Single Player 2: Married in on/off state (private)Early 2016: We start hanging out WAY more. Like WAY more. And we become besties and work together on every project ever. Its' the best female/male bromance I ever did saw. Both gamers, both omniverts, both into adventures, both low self esteem, both idiots. IT'S WONDERFUL I TELL YOU. This time period bleeds into summer time too. Player 1: Single Player 2: My marriage finally collapses and we finally have the balls to separate publicly. Bill helps me a lot through this whole process.late Spring/Summer 2016: BEST. OF. FUCKING. FRIENDS. We hang out all the time and at this point everyone asks us if we're together. We get told what a cute couple we are (we deny all claims though). He calls me after work everyday and we sometimes fall asleep talking to each other. Equal conversation. His family tells me that "he's the happiest I've seen him in a long time". His sister calls me his "girlfriend not girlfriend". And I am totally okay with that because... I'm starting to like the guy. And I have slept in this dudes bed like 3-5 times at this point and we have not cuddles once. I have major anxiety for sleeping his bed because I have no idea what I'm supposed to do if he wants me to make any moves. Also, we promise each other to be honesty buddies for life. Also also, He goes to daytona for a weekend and then says he has no one to hang out with so... I got flight benefits, you want me to come? "Sure, why not". SO I fly there and we have a blasty blast. There's also this moment that we're out drinking and we go for a walk and this homeless guy approaches him for money, Bill tells him nah, then the homeless guy starts walking towards me and Bill steps inbetween me and the homeless guy (who is not even close) and he says "No, you don't need to talk to her, you talk to me" (fucking fell so hard deeper than I already was, right then and there) Player 1: Single Player 2: SingleDRAGON CON 2016: He goes out of his way to go buy my eyelash glue, literally OUT OF HIS WAY. Then at the con he eats a tootsie roll drug thing (I am a newb when it comes to that shit) and he's tripping. We hold hands the entire time (relationship hold, not "let's cross the street" hold). At one point he jumps in bed and opens his arms out to me to invite me to cuddle, and god damnit I fucking accept. So we cuddle in front of the majority of his friends. We take an uber to a far away restaurant and just lay on each other the whole time. Then we go to my place and go to bed and don't cuddle sadness. That was saturday night into sunday morning.SEPTEMBER 2016: The week after Dragon Con we barely talked. Then I fly somewhere for something and when I'm flying back he texts me that he doesn't want to ruin our friendship because of his feelings of loneliness. And I'm like WOAH BRO, YOU WON'T RUIN ANYTHING. WANNA TALK IN PERSON? NEED HUGS? And he's like Come over and jump in bed, lets cuddle (or w.e. the fuck he said, the jump into bed part is accurate though). SO. My plane lands and I fucking take a FORTY FUCKING FUCK FACE DOLLAR uber to his house. I go to his room and jump in bed and we had the most AWKWARD cuddle in the fucking world. Why? Because part of me did not want to cuddle him because I was so fucking confused. And then because he was no longer drunk -_- (fuck you Bill... fuck. you.) Later that day he is very angry. And I mean, VERY. ANGRY. We got out and eat food, his friend ends up being our waiter and asks if I'm his girlfriend and he very aggressively says "no". And then after that day he stopped talking to me. HE JUST STOPS. Motherfucking Bill does not talk to me at all. I then get him to respond to me and he says he doesn't want to be friends anymore and he needs a break from "all this" (WHAT THE FUCKFACE IS "ALL THIS?!?!"). So I try to give him space but HOLY SHIT WE WERE JUST BEST FRIENDS AND NOW I AM SO FUCK NUGGET CONFUSED WHAT THE BITCH MADE FUCK?????? So I ask for a solid reason as to why it's happening and I could not get a solid answer. At all. To this day, I'm still not sure what the fuck that was. But anywho, he says he doesn't know if he'll ever want to be my friend BUT if there's an emergency and I ever need him, that he'd be there for me.FAST THE FUCK FORWARD to the week before my Birthday party (oct 1). It's friday, it's late, like 11pm late. I go outside for a phonecall and my phone starts dying. I walk back to my apartment door and it's locked. I call my roommates, no answer. (I later find out that my roommates had left and locked me out). So I have no keys, no wallet, a dying phone, and it's late on a friday night. WHADOIDO?!?! I start calling people to see if they can pick me up so I can crash with them. LITERALLY NO ONE CAN. I get to the point of using tinder and asking my ex. But before I go that route I'm like... you know what, Bill said he would be there for me if I really needed, I'm calling him (i knew he would not want me to have resorted to my ex so I thought this was logical). I call his beautiful ass up (and I mean beautiful) and his friend answers (oh so it IS just me that you needed a break from you dick twat). I explain the situation to his friend (lets call him Matt). Matt: "Oh yeah, we'll come get you!" "Check with Bill first, I don't think he'll be cool with it" Matt: "What? Ofcourse he'll be cool with it" "Wanna bet?" Matt: "Two dollars says he says yes" "Done. Now ask him" Matt asks Bill Bill: "Yeah, no. Not in the mood" (or w.e. his bitch ass said) Matt: "Bear, I am so sorry. I'm surprised. Good luck with your situation" "Yeah... thanks" And so I resort to tinder and ex -_- then end up sleeping at my community pool until the next day when my roommates get back. NEXT WEEK: I tell this mother fucker Bill that we need to talk. He calls me and says he doesn't want to talk to me and hes angry about it. And I tell him in the nicest way possible "fuck you". And I explain to him what an asshat he is and that I didn't do anything to deserve this treatment from him and that HOW DARE he tell me he'd be there for me and then he's just not. Fuck. You. Bill. And he fuckign apologized 0_0 and said I'm right. And then I told him he could come to my birthday party if he wanted to, and that I would like him to and he said that he didn't know but he'd try. BIRTHDAY PARTY: He showed up with his brother and sister and friends. All in one car. It was so nice seeing him again and knowing we were okay. God. what a fucking relief he was done being a dumb ass.Have you made it this far? Take a break, pat yourself on the back, go grab some hydration. Thank you and I fucking love you you stranger. Player 1: Single Player 2: SingleLATE 2016: We start hanging out slowly, I take piano lessons with him because I want to and because it's a good way to reintroduce hanging out. I then meet someone that I actually have an interest for. Cool regular dude but the fact that I kinda like this guy is like "oh, I might pursue this". SO before making any moves, I ask Bill: Bear: "Hey, do you like me?" Bill: "What! Like romantically?" Bear: Yeah Bill: laughs uh NO. Bear: Yeah I was just checking, because, people have told me you do. Bill: Yeah no. Who? ----- I felt so fucking humiliated because of how he handled saying no. It was like he thought it was embarrassing to even think that he could like someone like me :( SO lower self esteem and now a fucking challenge to get over my feelings for Bill, I get into a relationship with random guy who we'll call... Homer. Homer and I end up dating for a while, Bill is ALL FOR IT. Says I need someone Homer him right now. So i fucking go for it dude. Like, full commitment dawg. I'm talking real intimate planning homie. And BOY DID THAT BACKFIRE. Player 1: Single Player 2: Single -> begins datingEARLY 2017: I eat furbies. Just kidding, making sure that you're still awake :D So me and Homer are living together per his request (SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT). And I cannot be myself around him because I'm high energy and he's like "you're too much" (fuck your dick ass face you bitch haired mother fucker). So I go crying to Bill who is now my freindtherapist and tell him that I cannot be myself with Homer and it's fucking killing me. Now Bill is like, oh nah, that dude right here brah? He's garbage brah. Get rid of him brah. You can't be with dat brah. (more or less) But I can't break up with Homer because if I do then I have to face my feelings of wanting to be with Bill and that is just WAY TOO MUCH FOR ME TO DEAL WITH AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE. Player 1: Single Player 2: In a relationshipSUMMER 2017: Homer and I are not doing too hot, at all. It's become apparent to many folks. But anywho. SO there's this event yeah. Where I'm presenting an award yeah. And I put on an amazingly sexy gorgeous dress yeah. And I invite Bill and my newest friend Keaton to attend the event with me since Homer will be out of town. Keaton is Homer's bestest friend (key info for the test at the end guys)(...just kidding)(this wont be on the test)(...just kidding, there is no test). So I look fucking fabulous. I mean... fucking. fabulous. Like, even my low self esteem was like DAY-UM BITCH. I asked Bill and Keaton if I looked good and Keaton responds with "Yeah you look great" and Bill just nods and he's like "yeah" (YOU SON OF A BITCH). So we go on our way to the event. At the event I get Kanye'd because why not hire a drunk host :D so I'm ultra bummed out and the 3 of us go downstairs to drank my sorrows away. Then I find out that the film I produced one an award and I wasn't there. FUCK.MY.LIFE. so then i'm like LETS GO TO THE BAR BOYS. But before that I have a "cry on shoulder moment" with Bill. SO, we call uber to go to bars and WELL YOU SEE... I WAS WEARING A BEAUTIFUL WHITE DRESS... SO... THE UBER DRIVER THOUGHT I HAD JUST GOTTEN MARRIED. To who? To Bill -_- (FFUUUUUUHHHH) And what does Keaton do when the driver starts asking questions? Driver: Woah, did ya'll just get married? Keaton: YES! MY TWO BEST BUDS, BILL AND BEAR, MADE THE LEAP! At this point, Bill and I look at each other and are like N-NNO-N-N-NO-NO-NO-NO, but Keaton is SO FUCKING LOUD, he overpowers us and eventually we just go with it. SO we start giving made up details and calling each other "babe" and "sweetie" and gay ass shit like that. We get to the bars and low and behold, we find out you can drink free by having just been married... so naturally WE MILK THIS SHIT OUT OF IT. We move our rings to the married side and he has his hand on my waist, holds my hand at one point. Gives me a back massage. My god, it's fucking great. And eventually we go home. Keaton loses his phone in the uber home and so when Bill and I go back to my place, we're trying to get n contact with the uber driver. So we're just chatting and Bill is about to leave so we hug good bye. As we hug... I have no idea why... but... I grow the biggest pair of balls... and say... Bear: Want to know something weird? Bill: Suuuure Bear: I have feelings for you Bill: silent I pull away from hug Bear: But you probably already knew that Bill smiles and he nods and he's like "yeah" and so we talk about it all. And here are the key take aways from everything he said: "I'm not going to lie, I've wanted to make out with you several times" "Tonight felt... natural. It was just so easy for us to be that way. It was comfortable" "Well you have a boyfriend so...." And eventually he goes home and we decide to talk about it sober.SOBER TALK #1 He tells me he has no feelings for me, that he cares about me as a friend and nothing more. He also tells me that everytime he was interested in me is because he was lonely. (oh Bill... YOU SACK OF SHEEP SHIT) And so I take all that in and let it process over the weekend. I then write him an email. Yes. A fucking email. Because I suck at communicating on the spot. And in this email I tell him MANY THINGS, one being "fuck you for using me" and the other being "I don't believe that you don't have any ounce of feelings for me, because you could have picked any girl but you chose me. (SIDENOTE, BILL IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND CONSTANTLY HAS GIRLS WANTING HIM). So I email his ass and he reads it and we decide to have a second talk.SOBER TALK #2 He apologizes for using me and having led me on and that he'll be more careful with our friendship. And we completely skipped over the topic of him having any slight possible feelings for me or if he might ever. What evs. I'm so done with it all at that point (or was I?) Player 1: Single Player 2: In a relationshipDRAGON CON 2017: SO Homer gets obliteratingly drunk and violently pushes me (not the first time he got aggressive). But check this out. He pushed me, in front of the crew, including Bill. According to witnesses, both my feet went in the air. There was like a 3 second pause of silence and Bill fucking pushes Homer's ass out the hotel room and slams the door in his face. He then asks me if I'm okay and he is fucking LIVID BRO. I have never seen him in such a rage before O_O Player 1: Single Player 2: In a relatonshipFALL 2017: So dragon con drama dies down and I can no longer talk to Bill about my issues with Homer (yes I stayed with him) because Bill is fucking annoyed at me for staying with him. He thinks I'm dumb for staying (he's not wrong). So I find a new friendtherapist. Anywho, we continue our vague friendship where I feel like I have to hold back because what if I flirt with him, it'll make him uncomfortable and I don't want that. So now I feel like I can't be my full self around Billy Boy. Eventually I have my business trip to California with Homer BUT I break up with him the week before -_- so I'm not stuck on a trip with my ex. WONDERFUL. But when I told Bill, he was very happy for me and was proud I hadn't done anything stupid. Eventually Homer invites me to go to a Legend of Zelda Symphony of the Goddesses tour and I'm like FUCK.YES.DAWG. and he has two extra tickets so I invite Bill and his brother. When stranger Things 2 came out, we binge watched it friday night and saturday night. And that weekend was just so great. We just netflix and actually chilled And later when we talked about the weekend he told me "that is one of the nicest weekends I've had in a long time." CUZ WE'RE GOOD TOGETHER YOU TURD DICKZELDA SMYPHONY 2017: So Homer and I get there (I still live at his place with Keaton, I just sleep on the couch) and Bill is DRUNK. He invites me to his hair cut appointment the next day (we have the same hair dresser) and He starts talking to me about his weekend plans (which include a funeral and us watching Justice league together on Monday) and then how Monday me and him have our date. My face is like huwah? And he repeats it "yeah, we have our date!" buwuh? and I'm just like OO OH-KAY, YES. YES WE DO SIR. Concert starts, we watch the show, he keeps drinking. At this point I've never seen him this drunk before (it was quite amazing). After the show, I have to use the bathroom like the basic bitch I am. Bill says he's going to go look for his brother and homer who have disappeared. When I walk out I see him waiting for me in a corner and I'm like "what are you doing??" ANd he's like " I've been waiting for you this whole time. All these dudes were waiting for their girlfriends, one at a time they start leaving, and here I am waitng for you, WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG" and all I did was laugh because he's fucking hilarious drunk. I end up going home with Bill and his bro because I don't want to sleep on the couch and now that I'm single, I can sleep in Bill's bed again. SO, we're in the car and here's the conversation. Bill: Wow, I'm surprised at how well that went. Homer was very pleasant towards me. Brother: Why wouldn't he be pleasant towards you? Bear: Well- Bill: Oh, he's jealous of me and hers relationship. Bear: O_O HOMER WAS NEVER AT ANY POINT JEALOUS OF ME AND BILL. In fact, Homer LOVED Bill and always wanted me to invite him to places and he wanted to hang out from him and learn music from him. So that was just a lie .. Anywho, we go home and I sleep in this dudes bed and LET ME TELL YOU THE ANXIETY WAS SO FUCKING REAL. He has NEVER slept that close to me EVER. I could feel his arm and knee on my shoulder and leg (no boners guys, sorry :/ ). And I had no idea if I should try cuddling him or not because what if he's just drunk and doesn't realize it OR he's sober and just DOES NOT want that weird comfortableness of cuddling someone you're not into. So I do nothing except stay awake in anxiety till he wakes up the next day. And the only thing he says about the night before is "Man, I felt like I could take over the world last night, like nothing was in my way" and that was that.Monday: He invites his brother -_-THANKSGIVING 2017 (one week later): So I'm kind of sort of co-hosting with him but not really but I promised him I'd help with cleaning up and I'd bring mega food. By this point, we have a trip to NY planned (Mid January) and paid for...for... THE FUCKING FINAL FANTASY DISTANT WORLDS SYMPHONY AT CARNEGIE HALL, OH MY FUCK. We're talking about our plans (he invited his friend [guy, we'll call him Ron] so it was no longer going to be a potentially romantic trip sadness) and Bill says "Hey, let me know if you two want to go matching!" Ron is like "uhhh... no" as any normal guy would respond to that weird ass request. And then I say "uhm... Yeah sure." BECAUSE WHY NOT BEAR! WHY THE FUCK NUGGETS NOT. Bill and I go to his room later to look at his suit and see what I'm working with. And he says "If you find something else then I can try to find a different color shirt or tie". So we're fucking matching dude. Also, he play flirted with me for the FIRST TIME ever. Like Keaton noticed it too. Bill looked me directly in the eye.And now I'm here, visiting family in Miami, writing this fucking post because I'm so gay for this dude it's stupid. And I have been dress shopping and sending him the options and he is still going with us matching. ANYWHO here's where you the reader comes in...Answer these questions please and thankses: 1) DO YOU THINK HE'S INTO ME? 2) Should I ask him if he wants to kiss... 30 seconds before new years eve? 3) Should I try anything in NY? 4) Should I shut the fuck up, calm down and just fucking stop? 5) Should I just give up in him and I? If so, HOOOOWWWW??I REALLY don't want to make him uncomfortable but damn I can't keep holding back with this mystery. It's horrible. But he also seems like he's making sure we're not alone at any point in time... which I have no idea how to interpret.KEY FACTS: - Yes I feel that he is into me, SOMETIMES. Not always. But I get that urgle gurgle feeling from him sometimes. - He still does cute things like buy me my favorite junk food at the gas station. - We have NEVER kissed - We get each other on some surreal ass level, it's weird. - Yes we are idiots - Yes this is a TLDRIf you actually read everything... YOU'RE AMAZING AND THANK YOU!! If you didn't... Then good for you for not wasting your time! via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit

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autoirishlitdiscourses · 7 years ago

Text

Discourse of Thursday, 21 September 2017

Section issues? However you'll have a section on 27 November section, since it's been posted to the fact that you've picked are excellent. You've also picked a good set of ideas in here, but writing a report, but if you've prepared separately, then you may just be that you problematize or otherwise unresolved. I've ever worked with. No worries I understand that this is not a suggestion for this coming week. Let me know if you need to have a wonderful break, and you make your paper—as is quite well done. Two vocab. You reacted to a greater degree than they were required to be unable to get started writing a report that's an overview of a particular argument. I've thought about the Irish see femininity, rather than simply instantiating an argument that passes naturally through all of you to reschedule, and shown, in any reasonable way, and how much effort is required to memorize a few people who grow up to you. I think that the person in each paragraph, but unless you go back to you, provided that you need to send out the reminder email.

I will pass out a bit more would have also been participating fairly regularly, so I suppose, would pay off for you. I am happy to proctor an exam for you. 257, p.

If you have any questions, OK?

You are now currently at a middle-ish A-range paper grades discussed in class, with this assignment in order to be far more specific about your ideas out, but that would be to spend more explicit stands on issues of the better ways to connect specific passages that you provide some scenarios for less-than-required selection and gave a solid job here, and I'll take a look below for responses to British colonialism? First and foremost, talk about how to make. As it is the concept of the paper is basically good. Showed that you've got a lot in section, this is a/relative, competitive weighting factor until the end of your performance. Again, you did quite an effective argument assignment type is quite good.

If you have any questions, OK? I think that students often hit with compare/contrast is a perfectly acceptable as-is, knowing where you see from The Butcher Boy is Y, then you will automatically fail the class as a lens for examining that whereas if you're slightly late, missing more than a recording of it individually.

I will also post whatever you send me an email, and most valuable form of love best qualifies as the play makes is Rosie-Fluther with the text. You can take to be more specific claim at the Recitation Assignment Guidelines handout, which at least Western, love as a section you have any questions! I think that there are many profitable ways to answer email as quickly as I take you to be. So I think your plan to recite and discuss can be found on the feedback for paper topics, and not in many ways. But these are impressive moves. Discussion Section Guidelines handout. I'll get you a photocopy of the speech itself, though I felt that it had been stronger in other audio equipment to record your performance and lecture. Thanks for being a senior-level issues related to the audience so that you should put a lot of potential videos on YouTube that deal with this edition of the fact that you need to be refined carefully. I use it as an eight-page paragraph or the penalty which is that you need to talk about, which is what your paper grades is rather stringent, and I think that the rather thin time slice that Joyce gives us of their thoughts?

Let me know. Unless otherwise mentioned, you can extract contact and scheduling information from this page and copyright page from the copy on the final will get back to you. However, you got most of the play. There are no specific formatting or topical or length requirements. I'm happy to make sure that you expect. You might note that Francie's home is disturbed by his disturbed parents, who mentioned it to get at least suggests to me if you want me to think less of you is so much ground that it's a moot point. Yes, that there are some mostly comparatively minor errors that don't have a wonderful job of examining that whereas if you're still listed as TBD, McCabe page 84; are you using a number of points you can carry yourself, as well. Where do you take on the following: a they were sick. Again, though this is a pretty rigorous framework at the final an incredibly high B-range papers: Papers in this regard I promise. It's been a good paper here. You were clearly a bit too eager to show how much you can deal with this one. Was not quite enough points on the midterm to pass' policy is documented in the first three paragraph exactly of the viewer is likely to be changed than send a new sense of the speech, page 81—, Ulysses, but lets the text, not Patrick Kavanagh, Eavan Boland, or unclear. You picked a good topic what I think you would be to make progress toward graduation that satisfies you and the marketplace, and I tend to do this metaphorically, though, so I hope you have previously been attending but not participation. The group was already warmed up for it and pasting the text in such an excellent Thanksgiving and that poetry is an impressive move the discussions of foot and mouth disease offhand, I guess you could meaningfully take this into account when grading your presentation. It's virtually certain, with this issue, but I'll have them.

For the sake of having them fresh in their papers, and how this text affects me approach often falls short because a common hedge plant in Ireland and other texts to think about how your attendance/participation that is not good enough. I would guess that the syllabus. One of these but not unimportant juxtapositions that the opportunities for movement and observation were affected by a bus or abducted by aliens over the break. He missed four sections, too, that your decision to compare those two particular texts? But I do not consider getting close to the food-based hygiene in Lestrygonians. Thanks for letting me know what you want to ruin it for a change at the specific parts of Ulysses with you in lecture Thanks for doing a genuinely wonderful. 177. As I said before, your ideas as you write your paper further is to be making sure that it's actually not that bad an experience that we've read this term. Again, please send me on this. All in all ways to make other types of responses to British colonialism, misogyny based on your life, and showing that you could merge the recitation. Got big then. Being specific in the blank in Haines's comment to Stephen: We feel in England to we in England, was written. You picked a difficult selection, gave what was overall a strong job. Let me know if you arrange them will certainly not at a bare minimum length if the section as a whole. OK at this point, nor that it would emphasize the second half of the medieval probable myth of ius primae noctis is just fine. In Conclusion. Thank you for a bit on the context of that first draft, but not catastrophically so. Many students who try to force a discussion about the relationship between education and persuasive power in the West of Ireland as a possibility in some ways in the class automatically. This is the value from the MLA Handbook for Writers of B-77% 80% C 73% 77% C 70% 73% C-67% 70% D 63% 67% D 60% 63% D-—300 F The point totals for either exam.

#Irish literature #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Python #Markov chains

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