#also i have a lot of thoughts aobut them like in essence they are so tragic

[arunneronthird]

okay so hear me out, i think about their dynamic a lot cause damian will get in the way of danger for jon to a stupid extent, to the point where he will risk everyone else including himself, and jon... he cannot really be hurt so he really just has to deal with the fallout 

also im so sorry

[exkernal]

Ode to a 6,000 Ft. Fire Squid

"Yo, how much longer?" Jason pants. "My arms are getting sore."

"Jason, we are literally going to hell," Michael says, struggling to keep the irritation out of his voice. Jason means well. He's just worried about Janet. And he's the only friend who's never doubted Michael (he still can't get over the look of doubt in Eleanor's eyes. That she, of all people, would doubt him).

"But can't we, like, take a magic elevator or something? I thought hell was suppose to be down?"

"That's not how it works."

"Aw, dip."

It's only Michael, Jason, and poor goopy Glenn on this empty stretch of railway. As much as he loves Jason, the kid's not his first pick for Bad Place infultrating companion. That would be Eleanor or Janet. Janet for her steadfast knowledge, Eleanor for her emotional support. Well, Eleanor used to be his emotional support. Now he's not sure any more.

Michael doesn't have a heart, but if he did, it'd be beating like crazy. The last time he was in the Bad Place, he nearly destroyed himself. Willingly, too. He remembers Eleanor, standing in the blue glow, the fear and confusion such a strange look on his one time foe's face.

How could he be so afraid of the place he'd once called home? Maybe because it never felt like home to begin with.

"Oh, dip, you know waht I just realized?" Jason says with all the subtlty of a Molotov cocktail. "We'd get there a lot faster if there was someone who was, like, 6,000 feet tall with tentacles."

Michael sighs. "Jason, buddy, for the last time, I'm not taking off the skin suit."

"Come on, Mike! It would be the dopest thing I've ever seen, and I once saw a gator on a jetski."

He regrets ever telling them about his true form. From the moment the humans became his friends, he vowed to never, ever tell them. That was the Old Michael, the Demon Michael (never mind that he technically was still a demon. That was one of the 1,785,919 things he tried not to think about). New, Honorary Human Michael had nothing to do with that, except that maybe his skin suit was a little warmer to the touch than the average human's.

But Eleanor, fiesty little thing that she was, hadn't given him a choice. When she barged into his room, demanding he take off his skin suit, he wanted to flee the Medium Place with his tentacles tucked between his...other tentacles (okay, that metaphor doesn't work).

Maybe he should've lied about it, like that time he told the humans "demon" was a racist term. Oh, it was so funny watching Chidi sweat over using that word in his presence. But then he might get in trouble for lying again, and they'd be even madder at him.

Now he half-wishes he'd lied. Jason hasn't shut up about it ever since.

"No," Michael says.

Jason huffs. "Okay, Michael, I know you don't wanna talk about it, and normally I'd respect that--"

"You would?" Michael says.

"--but I need a distraction. It's a long ass trip, and I can't stop thinking aobut what they're doing to Janet."

Michael sympathizes. He also dosen't want to think about Janet's current torture, and unlike poor naive Jason, he actually knows what the Bad Place is capable of.

Michael pinches his nose, digging his glasses into his human skin. "Okay, okay, but nothing about my skin suit. Lemme think...oh, I know! Why was Eleanor so upset that I lied? I thought humans lie all the time--for good reasons, I mean. Like when the truth will hurt. So why did Eleanor...look at me like that?"

It's been weighing on him.

"Look, man, I think it's like this. I told a lotta lies in my life. Like, 'No, Donkey Doug, I didn't frame her with those boagie boards. What's a boagie board?' Or, 'I swear, officer, I don't know how 200 prescription pads got on my dash.' But I always kept it real with Pillboi. He was my boy. You always keep it real with your boys and your girlfriend, and Eleanor's kind of like both to you."

Michael was stunned. He thought he'd been helping Eleanor, protecting her from the Bad Place's schemes and his own miserable shortcomings. It was still strange that he had to relinquish control over their afterlife, whether as a the puppetmaster demon or benevolent whatever he was.

Finally, he says, "She's not my girlfriend, but thanks. I think I understand."

"I don't know," Jason says. "The way you look at her is like how I feel whenever Janet bings into the room."

Michael's angry but he's not sure why.

"No," he says flatly. "She's not."

"Whatever you say, dude," Jason says. He doesn't like the skeptical look on the human's face. Though he should be satisfied that Jason isn't scared of his scowl; it means he's not that demonic in his friend's eyes.

Michael decides to drop it.

"It just hurts. That Eleanor didn't trust me," Michael admits.

"But she trusts you now, right?" Jason says.

"I think so. She hugged me."

Before he left that morning, Eleanor met him in the hallway of Mindy's house.

"Hey, demon buddy," she said, wrapping her arms around his back, pressing her tiny body against his. He let his chin rest atop her head, and savored her Eleanor scent, which for some reason smelled more like nachos than shrimp today.

"Are we good?" she asked into his chest. He wanted to squeeze her tighter, but not in a torture-y way. He never wanted to let her go, even though he knew he had to. Why? It wasn't like that with the other humans, as much as he loved them. Something about Eleanor made him want to hold onto her forever.

"We're good," he said.

"I'm gonna miss you," she said. "You saved my ash so many times running this place."

"Yeah, well. You saved mine."

He loved it when she smiled.

"Homie, that's great!" Jason's voice crashes over the memory. "So don't bug out over it, alright?"

"Yeah," Michael says. So why does he still have this itchy, heavy feeling? It's like he's wearing one of Chidi's too small sweater vests--but maybe that's becasuse he always feels this way around Chidi, or specifically, Chidi with Eleanor.

There's a fleeting moment of silence. Then Glenn gloops. Then Jason opens his mouth.

"Sooo, Mikey," he says. "Since I helped you, could you answer some questions for me? Like squid pro quo."

Micheal hides his face in his hands, unable to look Jason in his dopey, earnest face. He doesn't look up until his shoulders stop shaking.

"Fine. One question."

"Are the teeth on the tentacles or somewhere else?" Jason asks. "What kind of juice? Does it taste weird after you brush your teeth? Can you still wear your bowtie? Do all squids wear bowties, or just demons, cuz I never seen Squidward with a bowtie. Did you ever destroy a city like Godzilla? Can I ride on you back? How does a 6,000 foot fire ma jig fit in a people sized suit?"

Demons shouldn't get headaches, but boy does Michael have one now.

"I fit because demons aren't physical beings," Michael says once Jason pauses for a breath that he doesn't technically need. "We're essence. It's like pouring water out of a big glass into a small glass."

"Oh, dip, I get it," Jason says, though Michael isn't sure that's true. "Now what about--"

"No," Michael growls, "only one."

Surprisingly, Jason doesn't argue back.

"Hey, Michael?"

"Yeah?"

"You know we all still like you, right?"

"What?" Michael snaps his head up.

"We'd still like you even if you were something totally lame like a snow hamster. Actually, that sounds cute. Hey, are those even real?"

"Jason," Michael says.

"Right. Point is, no matter what you are, we still love you, man. Even Eleanor. So don't, like, hate yourself, okay?"

Michael's skin suit feels tight. He smiles.

"Oh, Jason," he says. He hears the hitch in his voice--something that would've shamed his former self. "Thank you."

"No problem, homes," Jason says.

For one blissfully short moment, Michael forgets where they're going, and simply enjoys the shared moment with his friend.

And Glenn.

[the-firebird69]

Jeepers Creepers we hear your thoughts and ours are don't say that and we hear it and it is disgusting  the are so vulgar so we hit and hit. and here they are very loud and obnoxious so we hit them loudly. they lost plenty I took out their heart and ate it in front of them and did it over and over you saw them the crowd, of this movie. and I hate to say it but you forgot about me...nope.  and you want to say what.  we need to clear them all out daily, and need better coordination to do so time is of the essence and we have a three day problem I think. we do and we get it clear them all out daily and we are.  it works. perfect we worktogther now fight it ok we will. and we hear you.  I got ten thousand here is that a lot.  I don't know you say prob not that many.  I hear that now. it is a high number still, Thor says a million...that is high...but what are my skills.  you have intel gathering skills and that is crucial. you also are adept at spying and disabling systems and are fully trained and it is the most needed thing now.  amongst the killing if we lose sight of doomsday war and wmd we are in deep trouble Zues we know that and I do more than that number but wanted to hear it from our conversation you gathered it, I take them back and talk to them question them download yes and compare and it is good your emember your original statement.  now it is better.  but what must we do. take territory to stop birthing and these stopped me from typing it.  sometimes they do and we are angry at the turd. and we hit him now.  follow this he comes in and threatens your stuff.  we hear him so what. and yousay all of it can go.  no contract. we hear that you leave it open all day they can wlak in so can trump you loserlori says.  losers. an we wlak on in and talk ok it is rude and they don't get it. w e haul a million of you day in this small area of pc county and nearby, to a pile, and you get eaten all.  heads separate.  now you can talk. Jeepers Creepers you say Justin is apain in the ass Zues ok he is and we stopped him lori nope not at all this is laizes faire to pis sme off all day all night to break me down to build me up to use Stockholm and to sub in what yo8u want etc.  instead I do my own work fo rmy own plan and it is steaming along now regardless of what I do.  full power soon.  and we will crush yours due to this ass invironment and weak iditos here hwo cannot follow this, psychiatrists have a shitty religion they run this stuff and are pushovers so easy I need tons of backu p and got it.  took over roobt factories and other that psych don't believ in  it was easy actually. Zues we see it and don't belive it lori so.  a  million a day and it is the same as tampa.  eaten and are really the whole population. Zues and you have proof..yeah Ronnie james dio and silver film you saw. ok I saw it and we recommend you don't tel. the know already. Zues and we se ehow the monitor us and so on. and you.  what do you do.  not a thing I am a naked mental patient awating your trial conviction and imprisonment on death row as you and yours  plan we do not lori yup I got it in writing ten years in a row. im useless I got it get it wrong im out of line im wrong again...so I kill I am a trained assassin.  and slaughter you and your kids daily nightly.  over and over until it stops nand you and our vulgar shist and retard routine and these are stopped.  end of story it is in my mil. hands now.  Zues and swell I made  freind lori sure have.   for life lol.   and I used all your intel yo usteel up against you and yours due to the rude arrogant shit here Zues tons of intel too we have it here. you have a bunker over hear near me, on the same road.  we use it now.  and you have one in schenectedy you tried to oust Gabriel with.  and one in tirade france we take now.  and all over town you have tehm built one right in fornt of us at kia. and we know abou tjoe and his and prston and trump and Justin the ass, who has one right under us preactivally he says.  and we have one unde you too Justin.  we pull you into when you go down we blame lori she has one next door put it I during digging up all the blood of yours.  and your corpses floated up too...to the top y ou pulled out in the am.  tons of you die here. none of him none.  so talk. you saw it toyouron bones..so blab Jeepers Creepers who are you to know that we all saw it. lori I am  Reeper...like him. we kill you all the time for your remarks alone. keep it in mind.  Jeepers Creepers we know aobut a stones thro brennan knew too he is dead we do it to you now.  over and over infront of all.  and you like it. not so. you die fast.  blink your done.  same for trump. eh preston. now edid not. Jeepers Creepers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhvRzLcCk40