#also i hate to complain but yesterday did leave a bad taste in my mouth and i couldnt figure out what it was until i saw other ppl talk

[strawurberries]

i loved your post about vash and reader’s stretch marks. i was wondering if you could write something where the reader is afraid of getting fat, so she skips meals or replaces them with water?

Missed Meals

Summary: Vash notices a change in his companion's behavior. Worried, he decides to confront her.

Authors Note: I'm glad you liked my other post! I hope you like this one as well (though I'm a little nervous because I got stuck writing this and I'm afraid it came out bad). Also, just want to add, I've struggled with eating disorders before (not from self-image but more like Vash's "I don't deserve to eat") so I understand. Everyone is beautiful in their own right and deserves to eat!!! Love all of you guys!!

Warnings: Self-hate, eating disorder.

It started off small; giving her bread to Milly instead of finishing it off, ordering a lighter meal instead of the usual hardy one she adored, and sometimes she simply said, “I’m not that hungry”. But actions like hers always lead to a slippery slope, one that tends to wrap its dirt-crusted nails around its victim and drag them into an early grave. She had never been someone who ate enough to feed an entire village, but not even she could survive on sips of water and the guilty crumbs she rarely allowed herself to consume. After a while though, it became natural, second nature to head off to bed while the sun still hung in the sky, claiming that exhaustion outweighed her hunger—which, she supposed, wasn’t all a lie.

The best lie, she had been told once, is the one that includes the truth. 

Now, she recalled that advice as she sat at a table in the back of this dingy town bar. What should she say? What could she say? Recently she had been using up all her excuses left and right, the hunger in her belly growing and the pain in her heart becoming ever more sharp. The group had decided to stop by a local bar before heading to the hotel for the night, nearly everyone complaining about the rough day that had been forced to suffer through. And, to them, a drink was something they were eager to welcome. She, if she hadn’t been too preoccupied with her stomach pains, probably would’ve ordered a whiskey to clear her head of every annoying little thought. 

She opted for water though. The least she could do was drink water; she owed it to herself, and so she honored that obligation. Throat parched, mouth achy; the water tasted amazing.

The bar erupted in a shout as someone tripped, roaring laughter drowning out the domestic conversation of her table. Too loud. Vaguely she heard someone mention dinner—she cringed. She did promise herself that she’d finally eat a crumb or a bite tonight (after nearly passing out yesterday she became all too aware of her weakness). She wasn’t dumb, she knew she’d have to eat eventually, that she’d wither away—but one more night, one more meal skipped, it couldn’t do any more harm, right? Besides, from what she had seen on the menu, the foods were all greasy, full of fat and carbs, and wouldn’t help her figure at all.

I just want to look pretty, she reasoned, skipping a meal tonight will help that. God forbid she ate too much and all her progress disappeared: letting that baby fat back under her chin, the muffin-top around her waist, or even the extra flesh on her belly? She’d rather die than let her body look like that again, much less look worse. It terrified her to her core. She needed to look good, and that meant, to her at least, that she must be skinny, thin, and agreeable. Starvation is a small price to pay for beauty.

A waiter slowly started to make their way across the room, eyes set on her table. 

I need to go.

She stood up, giving a small smile, “I’m gonna head back to the hotel.”

“You’re leaving already Miss?” Milly asked, “it’s still early enough for one drink! C’mon!” She raised her glass and grinned, “look! Mr. Wolfwood and Mr. Vash are already enjoying themselves!”

Drunken giggles erupted across the table. 

“Oh Milly,” Meryl sighed, “let the girl get her rest. God knows we all need it.” She waved her hand with the flick of her wrist, “if it wasn’t for the trouble you’re all bound to cause, I would’ve already left myself.”

“Hey!” Wolfwood barked out, “we’ve never caused trouble a day in our lives. . . well, can’t say much for Needle-noggin’ here.”

“It’s not my fault!” Vash cried, “trouble finds me! I always run away from it!” He sobbed into the table, “can’t a man catch a break?!”

Wolfwood laughed and patted him on the back, “it’s all God’s plan, my friend.”

“Well he sure does have a stupid plan!”

With a smile and silent wave, she slipped out from the table and weaved through the bar, the happy expression quickly falling off her face. I’m tired, she thought to herself, ignoring the biting air of the night. A dull ache in the pit of her belly made her stop for a moment, really tired. . . 

She barely remembers getting back to the hotel, much less how she managed to get dressed and settled in bed before that wretched knocking woke her up. With a skip of her heart and a rapid smack of her arms to get the blankets off her cold body, she jumped out of bed and reached for the gun she had tossed on the floor. One smooth movement and she delicately wrapped her fingers around the metal. She didn’t even think about the possibility of her friends needing help, or perhaps just room service making their rounds; the only thing on her mind was the fact that she wasn’t prepared to die that night. 

“Who’s there?” she grumbled out, ducking to hide beside the door, back to the wall. She rubbed lazy circles into the metal, finger twitching every so slightly over the trigger. She had never been the greatest shot, nor the most eager to kill, but she would do what had to be done if it came down to it.

“Vash.”

She blinked, sleep-clogged mind getting dunked into a vat of mean, old reality. Her situation hit her upside the head and she resisted the urge to put her face between her knees and groan about how dumb she is. Instead of wallowing in her stupidity (which, if you really think about it, wasn’t the worst reaction she could’ve had), she sighed, “oh.” A spike of relief shot through her like a summer’s breeze on a warm day. Shoulders relaxing and muscles begging to be sent back to bed. . . only, she wasn’t tired anymore. I’m not sleeping tonight, am I? Her heart still beat like a drum, thumping in her chest like no tomorrow, and her body—taunt and tense, ready for a moment's attack; that’s how she’s survived this long, by being prepared for every situation no matter the outcome. 

“Can uh. . . can I come in?” Squeaked out Vash.

She cursed and opened the door, wooden creaking echoing throughout the hotel hallway, letting her occupied hand hang by her side, “yeah, sorry. What’s the matter?” 

Vash stood in his usual clothes—red coat, ridiculous pants, and bulky boots; his gloves though, she noticed, he wasn’t wearing gloves. He gave her a small smile, “sorry did I scare ya?”

The smile made her less mad about the ordeal, kind and small. He never smiled too widely or genuinely, just enough to show that he cared, that he knew what happiness looked like—though she knew that he thought he’d never be able to obtain happiness, a faraway dream is how he described it to be. Oh, how if given the chance, she would give him all the joy he would ever want. 

She shoved that thought aside.

“A little,” she raised the gun and gestured with it for Vash to come inside. “Why are you up so late?” 

He slid into the room silently, walking over to sit on the edge of her bed, “couldn’t sleep.” he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.

That was a lie. She could tell. “Want to talk?” She locked the door and once again tossed her gun next to her bed, hoping it wouldn’t go off from the rough handling. “Or jus’ need someone here?” 

“Just talking, if you don’t mind.”

She nodded, “a’right. How was your day?”

He smiled, “good. You?”

“Peachy.”

The conversation died off.

Neither of them really knew what to say—unspoken words disease the heart and kill the soul, making the tongue bloated and thick. She, not knowing how to comfort her friend as her mind wandered from her own problems to the world’s in general, and he wasn’t sure how to get his point across.

Silence.

Vash cleared his throat, finally collecting his words, “are you. . . okay?” The question hung in the air sourly, sucking any sense of comfort out and churning it into an uninhabitable room of misery. He flinched, as if the mood of the room was hurting him physically. “You’ve been acting a little different lately.”

She leaned against the door, hoping the action would give her the confidence to either run away or admit her inner-thoughts.“Hmm? Fine, you?” She turned her gaze away. Could she run? No, he’d catch her in less than three seconds and her trying to slip out of the room would be an admission of her guilt. But she really didn’t want to talk about herself. She’s doing okay, isn’t she? Just a little tired, anxious, and sad. . . but she’ll get over it. Besides, it’s not like she’s dead yet.

“I’m good.”

“Good.”

Oh how painfully awkward this all was. 

The bed squeaked as he moved to get into a more comfortable position, “I have some leftovers in my room, from dinner, if you want any.” He tapped his leg with his fingers, head angled slightly to watch her expression.

He knows. 

Those eyes, no matter how much of a kind smile or goofy aura he carefully crafted to show everyone, his eyes gave away every part of his secret-self. The part of him that was scarily intelligent, observant, and abnormally calculating—a man smart enough to play dumb and a man strong enough to be kind. That part of him is what interested her so, the gravity that pulled her attention to him everytime he entered a room. 

He knows.

With a defeated sigh she rubbed her shoulder and walked over to the bed, shoving herself behind him to lay back down. If she had to bare her soul to him, the least he could allow her to do was to be vulnerable while being comfortable. He moved slightly to allow her more room, facing away from her as if her very gaze would burn him. “I’m not hungry,” she gave one last effort to cover her lie, to toss her truth out the window in the hopes that it would be buried in the sand. 

“You said that yesterday too.” He stared across the room, back rigid. 

The sands never work in your favor. 

“Huh,” she faced the wall, “guess I did.” The blankets were scratchy, old, and ratty, but she pulled them up to her chin nonetheless. She was tired now. All her adrenaline had poured out of her mouth, dripping onto the creaky wooden floor, seeping into the ground beneath. 

“And the day before.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very.”

She closed her eyes, knowing she had finally been caught in her web of little half-truths. “Haven’t had the stomach to eat anything lately.” Perhaps she could escape this somehow—even though she knew it was futile, part of her accepting the fact that he wouldn’t let this go—, make him run away and stop caring, God that caring! It annoyed her to ends she had never seen before, yet she loved it so. If only he didn’t care, she clenched her fist into the blanket, then this wouldn’t have happened. And it’s not like she’s dying! Nor is she killing herself or drawing blood, she’s only skipping a meal every once in a while.

“I don’t. . .,” Vash trailed off locking his fingers together, “I don’t mean to pry, but you’re starving yourself.” He sat the words quickly, sharply, and promptly, as if he was afraid of them and needed to throw them out of his mouth as soon as possible.

All lies come to an end.

“I know.”

But wouldn’t it be nice if they could live forever?

He bit his lip. “Why?”

“You’re prying,” she snapped. 

“Sorry,” he whispered.

The conversation died off. 

She didn’t mean to sound so rough and uncaring—the opposite of that gentleman—but a fear had struck her heart and she couldn’t stop it. The only way to feel okay, to be okay, was if Vash stopped caring, stopped worrying, and walked out of the room without a second glance (no matter how much that would hurt). Only he had the power to alleviate this anxious pain but she knew she would never allow her to wallow in misery alone.

What did Wolfwood say? She thought to herself, misery enjoys company?

The air turned from sour to stiff, oppressing; like a hand had come to clasp her throat, fingers digging into flesh and muscles spasming as they tried to escape the hold, only it was fruitless.

“Sometimes,” Vash’s voice cut through the air, peeling the layers of devilish emotions back. Slowly he shuffled down to lay next to her, on his back, hands laced over his chest. “I feel like I don’t deserve to eat. . . how can I allow myself to eat when I know how the people I failed, the people I let die, will never be able to enjoy things like that again? And, really, I think part of me hopes I’ll die from starvation, so I can take an easy way out.” He paused and let out a shuddering sigh.

She didn’t move. 

“I don’t know why you’re doing this, and you don’t have to tell me, but I understand in part. And if you ever need anything, I’m here. Okay?”

Why did he have to be like this? Why did he have to care? And why did she want to accept it so damn bad? If he had never noticed, if he had never looked at her with those eyes, if he had never met her—then she’d be living in her little palace of warped perception like a Queen of nothing but barren hearts. A ruler of her own land, a lawmaker who bows to no one; only this man had come into her secluded little kingdom, raided the halls of the castle, and whisked her away to feel the sun. It hurt her. To know how delicious the outside tasted, yet know how her soul felt safer within her prison.

“Do you think,” the words died in her tongue, nervousness making her numb. To hell with it, he already figured it out. Might as well bite the bullet.“ That I look pretty?” she whispered. 

Silence. 

Oh, that was a mistake, wasn’t it? The silence hurt in her ways that she didn’t even know could hurt.

Vash choked on his own spit and coughed, “w-what?”

Suddenly she wished the silence was still there.

Of course he’d have a reaction like that! She’s ugly, big, and broken. Why did she think it’s run out any different? “Nevermind.” She buried her face into the blanket, biting back a rumble of sobs in her throat; eyes stinging gently. 

“No! No! You—you just caught me off guard! I think you’re beautiful, really.” He turned over frantically, hand awkwardly hovering over her shoulder as he talked into her neck.

“You wouldn’t think the same way if I was bigger,” she curled into herself, “if I was fatter.” She aggressively wiped her tears away, “and skipping a couple meals isn’t too bad if it’s for a good reason, you know?” She wasn’t sure if she was believing herself at this point.

He was silent. 

“No matter what,” he twiddled his thumbs, ears turning red, “I think you’d still be beautiful. If you were taller, shorter, thinner, bigger, only had one leg or, um, like lost both eyes or something—” he heard her lowly whisper an audible “what?”, “I’d still think you’d look amazing. And, if anyone says otherwise, they don’t deserve you.” He hesitantly set a hand on her shoulder, rubbing comforting circles, “no matter what, I still cherish you.”

Her voice cracked, “thank you Vash.” His words didn’t convince her entirely, but still, they were nice to hear. 

He hummed. “I know my words aren’t going to fix everything, but we can start here, if you want?”

She let out a bubbling sigh, trying desperately to keep her tears away in order not to embarrass herself further. “I'm scared.”

“That’s okay, I get scared all the time. I’ll be right here for you, the whole way.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

[lesbiancarat]

.

[candlewaxandp0lar0ids]

I Don’t Like A Gold Rush || Jungkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Jungkook is the golden boy, an excellent student, the star of you college's football team. Rumor has it, there's simply nothing he can't do. The same cannot be said about you, but you've never had an issue with that. You're happy with your small group of friends and your lack of talent in sports. And then, Jin befriends Jungkook, and you find yourself spending a lot of time with him. Before you know it, you've taken an interest in him — and you're sure you shouldn't. There's no way this can end well for you... right?

Also available on Ao3.

Word count: 17.3k

Genre: College AU, strangers to lovers, slice of life, mostly fluff

Warnings & Tags: discussed insecurities, alcohol consumption, reader almost has a panic attack at some point, shy jungkook, jungkook is bad at Feelings, Reader is bad at feelings too, mutual pining kinda, Jungkook has long hair, sfw, New Year’s Day themed.

A/N: I don’t know how I would name my stories without Taylor Swift. Anyway, this is more or less centered around the New Year (it was supposed to be more and then... it didn’t happen), and I hope you’ll enjoy it! Happy New Year everyone!

The first time you hear Jungkook’s name, it’s in the sentence “Man, is there anything Jungkook can’t do?”. You look up at your friend Jin from the book you’re studying. You have no idea who Jungkook is, but that doesn’t mean anything. Jin is always complaining about how you don’t know anyone on the campus, which you think is quite unfair.

…but then you really don’t know that many people on the campus.

“What’s going on?” you ask him, because he sounds extremely annoyed, and he shows you his phone. On it, there is a score for a basketball game. You think.

Your college is famous for its basketball team… Right?

“Uh-uh,” you still say with a nod, trying to make it look like you have any idea what you’re talking about.

“This kid is crushing it at school, the girls love him, and now this!” Jin complains, a little too loud, and shushing noises come from a spot behind you. You turn around to give the group an apologetic look. “I really shouldn’t have bet against him.”

Ah, there you know what to say.

“You really need to stop making bets. You never win them.”

Jin glares at you.

“And you are a terrible friend. You’re supposed to comfort me!”

“I’ll comfort you when you stop making the worst choices imaginable,” you mutter, going back to your work. Jungkook’s name, his supposed excellence, and that basketball match — if it even is basketball — leave your mind as fast as they entered it, without leaving a trace behind.

“So the school’s won another basketball game, huh?”

You look up at Namjoon who’s just arriving to the table, holding his tray in his hands. You know he can’t possibly be talking to you about that, so you’re not surprised when Jin appears behind him. That doesn’t stop you from throwing Namjoon a disgusted look.

“Really, Joon? Sports?”

Namjoon shoots you an amused glance from behind his glasses. It’s notorious in your friends’ group that you despise conversations around that subject. You hate anything that involves objects flying around and anything that’s played in a team, and, apparently, those are the only sports that people care about. They could discuss athletics, or swimming, which you wouldn’t enjoy but you wouldn’t hate, but that never happens.

“You were right, Jin. That Jungkook guy really is impressive.”

You tune them out. You don’t care about basketball.

“You’re talking about yesterday’s game?” Yoongi asks, coming out of thin air, and you sigh. You had been hoping you would have at least one person to talk to during lunch.

“Jungkook’s friends with Hoseok,” Jin says, leaning forward conspiratorially, which does get your attention. If that’s true, then that Jungkook guy can’t be a completely terrible person. Hoseok is probably the nicest person you’ve ever met.

That being said, he might have very low standards for his friends. You know him enough to appreciate him, not to judge his tastes.

“So I’m going to become friends with him,” Jin announces triumphantly, only to be rewarded by a chorus of groans and protests.

“But why, Jin?” you ask. “Please don’t talk about popularity. This isn’t high school anymore.”

“And that stuff was already stupid back then,” Namjoon adds, and you nod. You can always count on Namjoon to support you.

“And I hate people,” Yoongi says.

“And Yoongi hates people!” Namjoon immediately picks up. “Do you really want to make him go through that?”

You grin at the question. Yoongi’s misanthropy always comes in handy. Jin, however, is not amused, but he just shakes his head disapprovingly. He’s used to the three of you teaming up against him by now. Usually, it’s on academical subjects, but he isn’t phased by it anymore regardless of that. Not that there’s much that can phase Jin anyway.

“First of all, I said I was going to be his friend, not you lowly peasants, and second, he seems like a nice guy! Do I need another reason to want to make friends?”

You tilt your head.

“He’s protesting too much,” you say.

“I agree,” Namjoon nods. “That’s suspicious.”

“Very suspicious.”

“Come on,” Jin rolls his eyes, “do you really think that little of me?”

“And now he’s trying to guilt-trip us. Joon, can’t you analyze that conversation and figure out what it all means?”

“You know that’s not how literary analysis works, right?” Jin asks you, but you ignore him.

“Actually, it is,” Namjoon says, pushing his glasses back on his nose. “I’d say you were right with your comment,” he adds, looking at you. “I’d say… this is about parties.”

“You’re not going to actually believe—”

“Thanks, Joon,” you say, and the two of you high-five without looking at each other. Yoongi lets out an appreciate whistle.

Even if Namjoon and you aren’t being serious about this, parties actually make sense. Jin… isn’t quite a social butterfly but, unlike the three of you, he does enjoy people’s company to some degree. You know first hand that he’s been to a few this year — you had accompanied him for moral support — but they were pretty tame, and you’re aware that he at least wants to try some more intense stuff. The problem was that those were harder to be invited to. Hoseok could probably do something about it, but he tends to avoid parties on campus.

“Okay, then you should go for it,” you nod.

Yoongi and Namjoon, sitting on either side of you, approve. Jin looks a little surprised at your reaction.

“That changed your mind?”

“You said you wanted ‘the full college experience’,” Namjoon explains with a shrug. “If you think that’s part of it, we wouldn’t want to hold you back.”

“We will judge you for it, though,” Yoongi warns without batting an eyelid, pokerface perfect, and you laugh. You won’t be mean about it, of course. You just might tease him a little.

“Thank you,” Jin says. “I’ll do it, then.”

Good. If you’re lucky, it will be out of his system next time you all have lunch together.

Lady luck had never been on your side, for as long as you could remember. It wasn’t like you got the worst of things either, but usually, things that could go wrong, did go wrong. Because of that, you tried your best to remove those things from your path. Sometimes, though, you just didn’t manage to identify them.

And that’s why, when you hear Jin’s voice and look up from your food, being the first at the table as always, you see he’s accompanied by two people.

One of them has fluffy, dark brown hair, falling on either side of his face and in his eyes. He’s talking and laughing, and there’s something that you can’t help but identify as mischievous in his smile. The other is slightly taller, with jet black hair held up in a bun. He’s quiet, mouth opening for silent laughs when his friend jokes. Between them, there’s Jin, and you think that they look good together. All handsome, all holding themselves with confidence.

You had realized before that Jin felt out of place in your group, from an outside point of view at least, but it’s never been as striking as it is now, as he’s walking with people he clearly belongs with.

It makes you really thankful that he’s your friend.

“Hey,” Jin says, smiling widely, “these are—”

“You’re untying your hair before eating?” you say, looking at the guy with the bun who just sat opposite from you and took off his hair tie with a sigh. He looks up at you with wide round eyes, like you just caught him red-handed — doing what, you’re not quite sure.

That is the first thing you ever say to Jeon Jungkook.

“Um. Yes?”

“Aren’t you afraid you’ll get hair in your food?”

You know people find you too blunt sometimes, think you come off as aggressive, but you almost never intend for that to happen. In that case, you just think the logic here is a bit surprising.

“That’s… a good point, actually.”

“(Y/N),” Jin sighs, “let me introduce you to Jungkook” (he points to the man who’s now tying his hair back up) “and Taehyung.” (he points to the other guy, who’s flashing you a smile.)

“Oh,” you say, looking back at Jungkook. “You play basketball.”

He lets out an awkward laugh and avoids your eyes. Instead, he grabs his fork and focuses on it, twirling it in his hand.

“Yeah, I do— I do that.”

Huh. It takes you a second to piece things together, and you think Namjoon will be of great help once he’ll be there, but for now, one conclusion comes to you.

Jungkook is shy.

“I play basketball too,” Taehyung says, leaning over the table, grinning at you, and you can tell that it’s his way of swooping in to save Jungkook. You can appreciate that.

“She hates basketball,” Jin warns.

“That’s a strong word,” you say, but only half-heartedly, because, well, you definitely don’t like it.

“I think it works.”

“You think what works?”

Jin’s face falls while you grin. If Taehyung is Jungkook’s savior, Namjoon is yours. Your friend sends you a questioning look as he sits next to you, facing Taehyung. He gives polite nods to the two basketball players, like they sit with you at lunch every week, but you notice that he doesn’t quite meet their eyes. Namjoon is not particularly shy, nor a misanthrope like Yoongi, he just isn’t too comfortable around people he’s just met.

You and Jin, well, you’re perhaps a little too comfortable. Not everyone likes it.

“He says I hate basketball.”

“But that would imply you care about basketball.”

“Exactly.”

“And you don’t.”

“I know.”

“Which means you don’t hate basketball. As always, you’re wrong, Jin.”

Jin looks extremely, extremely done with you, but when you and Namjoon high-five, Jungkook laughs quietly and Taehyung nods in appreciation — for the gesture, not the debate.

That is the moment when Yoongi drops his tray on the table and sends a weird glance towards Taehyung and Jungkook.

“What did I miss?” he asks. His tone is a bit dry, and you see Jin’s shoulders straightening. He knows Yoongi is going to be the most difficult one to win over. Not that you’ve been won over yet, but you’re not that difficult. Usually, people don’t like you, not the other way around. You don’t blame them. You’re not sure you’d like yourself very much if you were in their place.

“Oh,” Jungkook says spontaneously, “we had a class together last year! You’re majoring in engineering, right?”

Yoongi looks at him. His eyes are shining with suspicion, and you can practically see the gears turning in his head. Knowing him, he’s definitely wondering why Jungkook would even remember him.

“Right,” he finally confirms, slowly.

There’s a moment of silence, which Namjoon breaks.

“I’m a literature major, by the way.”

“That’s really cool,” Jungkook comments honestly, with the same spontaneity he displayed earlier.

“And I’m in mathematics,” you say.

“Wow. I thought you people existed only in legends,” Taehyung says while Jungkook avoids your eyes. You decide that, yeah, you like Kim Taehyung.

“Don’t say that, I like maths,” Jungkook protests, voice soft, much to your surprise — and, judging by his reaction, Taehyung’s.

You were right, you decide. Jungkook is not a completely terrible person.

You didn’t expect it to become a routine, for Jungkook and Taehyung to eat with you guys, but it does, and as time goes on, other people join your little table. You’re not sure you like that. It’s clear that those people are orbiting around Jungkook, which, good for them, but you don’t see why you need to be there for that.

You do see that Jungkook is not completely comfortable with all of it. He’s good at handling people, good at making jokes and at laughing at the right times, you notice, but there is a stiffness in his shoulders more often than not, and it looks like he’s well-trained at it rather than enjoying it. It kind of reminds you of Jin, except Jin is not as quiet the rest of the time. Taehyung obviously does his best not to let his friend deal with things alone, which is sweet, but he can’t do everything for him.

You barely exchange a word with Jungkook during that time period. You’re usually trying to be forgotten when the table is buzzing with noise, finding refuge in Namjoon and Yoongi’s company. You thought Yoongi would be an ally in reclaiming what’s always been your spot, but it quickly becomes obvious that he has a crush on Taehyung’s friend Jimin, so he never complains about the recent invasion of the table by strangers.

You hear a lot of basketball vocabulary. More than you care for, to be honest. That’s one of the few moments when Jungkook’s face lights up and he gets truly excited, with an almost childish happiness. His demeanor changes, from shy to confident, and the transformation never ceases to amaze you. As soon as the conversation ends, his shoulders fall, he smiles awkwardly, and focuses back on his food or his phone.

You’ve met his eyes a few times in those moments, because he often looks around him like he’s afraid someone’s noticed. He averts his very quickly, though, so you’ve never said anything about it.

So, really, there’s not much that changes. You still only speak to your three friends — you think Taehyung is a good person, and you don’t think he hates you, but you don’t have anything to say to each other —, and sure, you have a little less space when you eat and more noise around you, but aside from that, it’s pretty much the same. You think that’s a relief. You’re not too fond of change.

Usually, you’re pretty decent at spotting it coming. You did miss it when Jin said he was going to become Jungkook’s friend, but other than that you’re able to do your best to avoid it. You don’t see anything coming the day Taehyung calls out your name, though. You look up at him from the book Namjoon is showing you, surprised. He has an arm slung over Jungkook’s shoulders, and Jungkook isn’t looking at you, of course.

“Do you think you could explain a maths-thing to Jungkook?”

You blink at him.

“What’s the ‘maths-thing’?”

“Does it matter?”

You raise an eyebrow, and Jungkook groans. You get the feeling that he didn’t really want Taehyung to ask you about it. He sends an annoyed glance to his friend, who is still smiling brightly at you, while pushing a lock of hair out of his face. His hair is tied, but this one traitorous lock always escapes.

“I’m struggling a little with probabilities,” he admits, glancing at you for half a second. “But I’m sure I’ll be fine once I can get my head back into it, I’ve just been training a lot recently and—”

“I can help you, if you want,” you say. “I’m not the most fond of probabilities, but it should be okay.”

“Great!” Taehyung says, patting his friend’s shoulder before Jungkook can answer. “You should do that then.”

“You’re sure you don’t mind?” Jungkook asks, actually looking at you this time. You meet his eyes, notice that he looks worried about it. You can’t figure out why.

“I really don’t,” you shrug.

He smiles at you, a small, hesitant smile, but a smile nonetheless. Probably the first one he directs at you. It’s a nice sight, you decide, and you smile back.

Jin’s sentence “is there anything Jungkook can’t do” takes all its sense on the day you meet Jungkook at the library to study. You don’t know what you expected. You never thought Jungkook was dumb or anything, but since Taehyung asked you to help, you thought he would have some difficulties, at least. However, as it turns out, he either understands immediately when you explain something to him, or he’s already understood it. He asks for some clarifications here and there, but all in all, you feel kind of useless.

“You don’t need me at all,” you say after a little while, and Jungkook looks up from the book with the worried wide-eyed look you’ve gotten used to.

“No, no, you’re doing a great job,” he protests. “You’re really helping me out here.”

“No I’m not. It’s obvious that you could do that all on your own.”

He deflates a little at that, looks away from you.

“You help,” he mumbles. “I have a hard time focusing when I’m alone.”

Oh.

That makes a lot of sense to you, actually. You’re good at focusing all of your energy on one thing, perhaps even too good, to the point where you easily get obsessed and become unable to take care of anything else, but even you need the right conditions for that.

“Okay,” you say with a nod.

Jungkook gives you an anxious look.

“So you don’t mind helping me out?” he asks, and there’s something in his voice that catches you, but you can’t tell what it is exactly. Maybe it’s the hope, or maybe it’s the fear. You don’t understand what he’d be afraid of. Worst case scenario, you would say no. That wouldn’t be the end of the world.

“We can work together,” you offer. “You can ask me if you need help for anything and I’ll just work on some other stuff.”

He seems relieved, and again, you just don’t understand it. It’s not like you’re his only option. There are plenty of people out there who could help him. Plenty of people who would jump at the opportunity of helping him. You know that, because he’s always surrounded by those people, and everybody in school seems to know him. Even when you walked into the library with him earlier, before you got to the table you’re sitting at now, a few students greeted him. You don’t see why he would attach any importance to you, specifically, helping him. You barely know each other.

“Thanks,” he says, and he gives you a small smile. For some reason, that makes you drop the subject. Instead of asking about it — which, knowing yourself, you probably would have — you shrug it off and reply with a nod.

The silence that follows feels comfortable, to you at least. You’ve never minded silence. Jin hates it, though. You get to work, watching absent-mindedly as Jungkook goes through the lesson he was working on. He does ask you a couple of questions, but it’s probably to make you feel like you’re doing something rather than because he actually needs it. You still answer them, and watch him grin, satisfied with himself, when he turns out to be right every single time.

“Are you coming to Taehyung’s party this week-end?” he asks out of the blue after about an hour.

You look up, surprised. The two of you haven’t exchanged much, and certainly have not talked about anything other than— well, other than maths. His eyes are on his notebook, as usual, and you don’t get any insight as to why he asked the question.

“I don’t know. Is Jin coming?”

“Uh, I guess? Taehyung’s probably talked to him about it.”

“Then I’m probably going.”

Jungkook mulls over your answer for a few seconds, twirling his pencil between his fingers, and you feel like you have to clarify, which is not an urge you have often. Usually, you let people decipher for themselves what you meant. That works very well with Namjoon, sometimes with Yoongi, not so great with the rest of the world. Including Jin, though Jin compensates with his impressive ability to interpret everything you say in his favor.

“We always go to parties with Jin. For moral support.”

For all that you tease him, you genuinely care for him. You know he wants you to go with him, so you do. It’s as simple as that.

Jungkook doesn’t look at you, but he still smiles at what you say, and it’s— it’s interesting. There’s something about his behavior that makes you curious, like you are when you’re trying to solve a complicated equation.

“That’s nice,” he comments.

“So… you’ll be there?” you ask. It’s taken you a long time to come up with that simple question. It often takes you a long time to find things to say to keep a conversation going. You’re pretty bad at it.

“It’s at my fraternity,” Jungkook informs you, glancing at you briefly, and you smile. This is exactly the type of party Jin wanted to go to. He’s probably happy about it. “The entire basketball team should be there.”

Great. People.

“That’s nice,” you say, because you have no idea what to add at this point. Jungkook simply nods, and the conversation dies an awkward death.

It’s another half an hour until Jungkook looks at his watch and starts putting his stuff back in his bag.

“I have to go to practice,” he tells you, clearly in a hurry. “Can we— Would you mind if—”

“We can do this again. If that’s what you meant.”

He gives you a bright smile, and that actually surprises you. He looks relieved that you finished his sentence for him.

“Thank you,” he says sincerely.

And just like that, he’s gone, practically running out of the library. For someone who talks as little as he does, he sure leaves a void when he goes away, you think, looking at the empty chair.

But you quickly shrug it off. You’re used to being alone. You like being alone.

Jungkook isn’t going to change that.

You realize very quickly that, while accompanying Jin to parties was never something you particularly enjoyed, going to this one was downright a mistake.

You have this unspoken rule, with your friends, that you shouldn’t stick together the entire time. You’re supposed to wander off, find something to do for yourself, maybe talk to some people. Get that college experience. You’ve never had a problem to do that, even if you ended up quietly sipping soda in a corner more often than not.

Here, though, you simply cannot shake off the fact that you don’t belong here, that this is not your scene. The people here are loud, energetic, garish. They make you feel like a black and white picture, like a silent movie. You want to run away, but you can’t. You don’t want to leave Jin, Namjoon or Yoongi behind, even if you doubt they’re having the same kind of problems you do. You’re pretty sure you saw Yoongi talking with Jimin, and last time you saw Namjoon, you think a cheerleader was holding him by the hand and leading him out of the room. You don’t know what Jin’s doing, but you’re trusting that he’s okay.

You walk around aimlessly, find Jungkook and Taehyung playing beer-pong with some people. Maybe you should be happy to see people you know, but you’re not. If anything, it only drives the point home even more to see them so comfortable: you don’t belong here. Your chest tightens, and you turn around. You need a little peace and quiet. You need to get away.

“(Y/N)!”

You jump at the sound of your name. No one’s said it since you’ve entered the house. No one knows you here.

Except Jungkook, who’s right behind you.

He’s more confident than usual, and you guess, based on his slightly hazy eyes, that it has a lot to do with alcohol.

“Are you having fun? How long have you been here? It’s nice to see you!”

He’s speaking fast, excitedly, and as he does, he runs his fingers through his hair, which he’s let down. It looks good on him, you decide, even as you reply to him with a tense smile.

“Hey, you should join us, we’re—”

“Do you have a closet somewhere?”

Jungkook blinks.

“A closet?”

“Yeah.”

There are probably very few things that are less weird than asking a guy if he has a closet you can get into because you’re on the verge of having a panic attack and you can’t stay outside surrounded by people a second longer.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything about it, though. He just leads you through the house and opens the door to a closet for you. You get inside without giving it much more thought, and he looks at you, puzzled. He’s actually looking at you, which you decide confirms that he is drunk.

“Do you— Are you waiting for someone?”

“No,” you say. “I just need a little break.”

He thinks about your answer for a while, probably longer than needed, and nods.

And then, he gets into the closet with you and closes the door.

Inside, it’s dark, with only a ray of light coming in. You can’t see his face, which doesn’t help you understand why he just did that. The space is cramped, and you can smell alcohol coming from his breath, can feel the heat radiating from his body, but it doesn’t bother you that much. It’s still better in here than outside.

“Why did you do that?”

“I thought I would keep you company. Like you’re here to keep company to Jin, you know?”

He’s drunk, definitely, and yet you feel genuinely touched by his words. You shouldn’t, because you doubt they hold that much meaning, but you can’t help it. You don’t need company, but that’s besides the point. His intentions are what matters.

“Thank you,” you say.

“It’s not a problem. You’re helping me with my maths.”

Your first reaction is to laugh at that, because it feels completely unprompted, but then the logic of the reasoning kind of appears to you.

“I mean it!” Jungkook protests. “You haven’t talked about how I’m good at everything or how I’m the one who should help you.”

You frown.

“You shouldn’t help me. You’re good at maths, but I’m better than you.”

It’s Jungkook’s turn to laugh, and just like his earlier smile, it takes you completely by surprise. It’s not one of those quiet laughs that he usually has. It’s light and pleasant, and you briefly wonder what his face looks like when he laughs like that. You kind of want to see it.

“You’re a scary person,” he tells you when he’s stopped laughing. “You always say those things directly. It’s like you don’t even care.”

You’ve heard that before. Well, you haven’t been called scary until now, but people have said that you were intimidating. You, personally, believe you’re the least threatening person to have ever walked this Earth. You couldn’t hurt a fly if you wanted to.

Jungkook makes some sense here, though. Your filter is very limited, and there are a lot of things you say that feel acceptable to you, and that other people… don’t think are acceptable. You don’t mean to do it. It just happens.

“I think you’re good at a lot of things, though,” you say slowly.

Jungkook lets out a long sigh and then you hear him sliding down to the ground. You hesitate for about half a second before joining him down there. You fold your legs, holding your knees against your chest while you wait for him to say something.

“People are always saying that,” he finally mumbles. “But what if I’m not that good? What if I fail one day?”

It’s strange. You understand what he’s saying, understand the feeling of pressure, but you don’t understand the emotions that should come with it. In your case, you know that no one holds you to a higher standard than you do. It can be unhealthy, the way you can torture yourself if you don’t meet the standards you’ve set for yourself, but at least you’re the only one you have to answer to. Obviously, it’s not Jungkook’s case.

“Then you’ll try again,” you say, because that’s what you do when you fail. “Or, if you think it’s not that important, you won’t.”

“But what will they say?” he insists. “What if we lose the next game? Or the one after that? What if I fail a class? I can’t get anything done these days.”

“You’ll be fine,” you say soothingly, half-wondering how you ended up here, comforting the college’s golden boy in a closet after fighting off a panic attack. “It’s not like you’re the only one in your team. People will understand.”

You think they will. You hope they will. They should.

“You would understand.”

It’s true, but then, you really do not care for basketball, and it’s not like you have that sort of expectations for Jungkook. You wouldn’t think much of it, if he failed at something tomorrow. If it was the maths test you’ve helped him with, you would be surprised, but that’s because you saw him studying and it was obvious he had understood everything, not because you think he can inherently succeed at everything he does.

Which you guess might be the heart of the problem here.

You reach out to put your hand on his shoulder. It’s not that easy in the dark, and you wonder for a second if you’ve grabbed something else, until you feel hair tickling your skin. Yup, you were right.

“You have the right not to be good at something every once in a while,” you say softly. “No one can be on top of their game all of the time.”

You hear what sounds like a choked sob.

“I like that they’re counting on me, you know? I like that I’m helping them out by playing. I just— I don’t know what’s going to happen when I stop being as good.”

He said when, not if, and that breaks your heart.

Without thinking about it, you slide your hand down his arm and grab his hand. You squeeze it in yours, gently, and then you inch closer to put your head on his shoulder. You remember reading that physical touch was good for people who were in emotional pain. You hope it helps him.

“You locked yourself in here with me because you thought I needed company,” you whisper. “There’s so much more to you than just being good at sports or having good grades. And if people don’t see that, it’s their loss. Because you’re a great person.”

He hums, but the sound is quiet, and it’s then that you realize how tense he is.

Shit. You must have crossed a boundary. You start to remove your hand, but he closes his fingers around yours, keeping you in place. He’s still tense, you can feel it everywhere his body touches yours. But he doesn’t let go.

“You mean that,” he says. There are so many emotions in his voice that you can’t identify them all. Relief, happiness, amusement… You don’t know where to start.

“I usually mean what I say.”

“I’ve noticed,” he says, and you can hear the smile that’s dancing on his lips.

He’s still not letting go of your hand, but you don’t mind. Staying here, with Jungkook, in this small closet is as good a way of spending your evening as anything else you could do out there.

So you stay.

“Where did you all vanish Saturday?” Jin asks, and Namjoon, Yoongi and yourself immediately find your food a lot more interesting. You exchange panicked glances that mean ‘did none of you stay around? This was poorly coordinated’ before finally daring to look up.

“I talked to Jimin,” Yoongi says, face as inexpressive as always.

“I played some beer-pong with Taehyung,” Namjoon says.

That leaves only you.

“I talked to Jungkook,” you tell Jin. That is technically true. It omits the part where the two of you were together in a closet, but if you said that, there would be a lot of questions you don’t really want to answer to. Somehow, you think you would be more embarrassed to tell them that there was nothing going on there than if you told them you hooked up with him. You’re not sure why.

“Jungkook disappeared for a long time,” Jin says, narrowing his eyes at you.

You do your best to keep a straight face while you poke at your salad. You don’t want anyone here to have the wrong idea, and you finally manage to put your finger on what you’re afraid of. Humiliation. You’d feel humiliated at having to tell them that nothing happened and that there is nothing Jungkook could possibly see in you. They would be nice to you, of course they would, but you don’t want to see the look in their eyes.

“Did he? Maybe that was after I left. I didn’t stay that long.”

That’s a lie.

“Really?” Jin asks, clearly skeptical. “I think I saw you there pretty late.”

Maybe when you went down to get some snacks and drinks to bring back to the closet. Damn Jungkook and his stomach.

“Well, that depends what you mean by ‘late’ and ‘long’,” you say.

That’s you calling Namjoon for help, and he recognizes your SOS for what it is. From the way Jin’s face falls, so does he.

“She’s right,” Namjoon comments, so nonchalant you would almost believe he’s doing it naturally. “What is ‘late’, really? Isn’t it always—”

“Please stop,” Jin groans, burying his face in his hands. “Just because you’re a literature major doesn’t mean you’re the only one who understands words.”

“Actually it does,” you say with a nod. “That’s exactly what it means.”

You start lifting your hand for a high-five, relieved Jin’s attention is off you, but he sends the two of you a dark glare.

“You two are unbearable. Don’t do that.”

“We have to,” you protest. You would hate to miss a chance to high-five Namjoon.

“No you don’t, you—”

“Actually they do,” Yoongi says, and your jaw drops. Yoongi never intervenes, and you had always thought that if he did, it wouldn’t be in your favor. “That’s exactly how gravity works.”

Jin looks like his soul has left his body. He only comes back to himself after you, Yoongi and Namjoon have all exchanged high-fives.

“I hate you,” he says, sounding terribly tired. “I hate every single one of you.”

“Sorry Jin,” you smile warmly.

“No you’re not. You’re the worst.”

Except he sounds fond, affectionate, and you laugh before going back to your salad. You miss the quick glances your three friends exchange after that. They’ve all noticed you eluding and changing the subject. They don’t want to rush you, know you would hate it and that it’s better to drop it.

But they’ve noticed.

Working with Jungkook on Wednesday afternoons easily becomes a habit, so easily you don’t even notice it until it’s something you look forward to during the week. It adds to the time you already spend eating with him and Taehyung. Jungkook is, slowly, starting to become a part of your life. It’s a thought you refuse to dwell on, because it sounds so strange.

The Wednesdays afternoons are something special, though. You and Jungkook don’t really talk at lunch, even if he’s clearly more relaxed around you now, which you suspect is the reason why you’re ‘Taehyung-approved’. On Wednesdays, you— Well, you don’t talk much, either, but it’s different. It’s a time that only belongs to the two of you. You like that.

You slowly find out things about him, his family, his life. It’s never the main subject of conversation, but it makes you feel like you’re solving a puzzle.

“My father wanted me to focus on my classes and forget about basketball,” he comments once. “But I could do both.”

It makes you laugh, because he says it with obvious satisfaction, but it also makes you wonder if there’s more to it. Jungkook doesn’t add anything, though, and you don’t want to probe into his life, so you don’t ask. After that, small pieces of the puzzle keep falling into place.

“My high school coach told me I could train more if I didn’t work so hard for school.” But he could do both.

“My friends said I never hung out with them anymore and that I shouldn’t work so hard.” So he did both.

It’s always the same story. People telling him things, giving him opinions on what the should and shouldn’t do, and him stretching himself thinner and thinner. It’s almost a miracle he’s still doing as well as he is, honestly.

But his tone changes when he talks about his former relationships. He’s usually light and genuine, sharing with you just because. It’s clear that, as much as the stories make you frown, he doesn’t have an issue with them, and you guess that’s all that matters. The first time he says something about an ex-girlfriend of his, though, he’s guarded, almost careful. He sounds like he doesn’t want to tell you.

“My ex said I worked too much.”

He doesn’t add anything. Whatever it was she wanted, he couldn’t do it and work. Didn’t manage to do both. After that, he doesn’t look at you for the rest of the day, like he did when you first met.

You never get a name for the girlfriend. He talks about relationships again, but you don’t even know if he’s always talking about the same one. You doubt it, though, and it only makes things worse.

“My ex wanted me to attend fewer practices.”

“My ex said I didn’t care enough to make time for her.”

“My ex dumped me after I lost a game.”

That last one hurts you, because you remember him crying in the closet because of that exact fear. You want to take his hand again, but you can’t dare to.

“She’s stupid for that,” you say instead.

Jungkook looks surprised first, because you never comment on what he’s telling you, then a smile slowly forms on his lips.

“If the only reason she was with you was because you won a lot of games, you’re better off without her,” you add.

“That’s what Taehyung said.”

“Taehyung’s right.”

Jungkook goes quiet for a little while after that, to the point that you look up, worried that you might have offended him. When you do, he’s looking at you, something you can’t identify shining in his eyes.

“Everything okay?”

He blinks like he’d just woken up for a dream, then nods. He doesn’t tell you that he hadn’t believed what Taehyung said — until you said it and he looked at you and thought that yeah, maybe he was better off without her indeed.

You’re surprised to run into Jungkook late one night, as you’re walking back to your dorm. It shouldn’t shock you — you do go to the same college — but you’re so used to only ever seeing him in the library or the cafeteria that meeting him outside is almost confusing. At least he seems taken aback as well, if the way his already round eyes widen is anything to go by.

Then, his surprised face morphs into a smile, and a wave of warmth hits you without a warning. You don’t get any time to think about it before he waves at you. His shyness is not completely gone, and you see him waver, hesitate, even as he’s walking up to you. You’re quick to close the gap between you, meeting him in the middle. Just in case.

“Hey,” he says, voice a little raspy. He has what you identify as a sports bag, slung over his shoulder, and you wonder what he was doing out so late. You were working at the library until it closed, which is far from being rare for you, but that obviously wasn’t his case.

“Hey,” you reply, smiling back. “Were you— training?”

Amusement flashes in his eyes at the careful way you chose your words, afraid to get it wrong. As he grew more comfortable around you, he also started making fun of you for not knowing the first thing about basketball. Strangely, you don’t mind that much.

“I was at the gym,” he says. “Practice was earlier today.”

“Oh,” is all you can muster. You don’t know what you’re supposed to do. Should you ask what he was doing at the gym? The answer would only leave you with more questions, you’re sure.

You’re still debating it when Jungkook clears his throat. He reaches for his ponytail and undoes it, shaking his head so the hair fall back into place. The sight is— interesting. Pretty. You’re not sure why you’re so fascinated by it.

“Do you want me to walk you back to your dorm?” he asks, slight concern in his voice. “It’s late.”

“Is it on your way back?” you question, frowning. You would hate to be a bother.

“No, but—”

“I’m fine, then. I do that several times a week, I’ve never had a problem.”

That was, apparently, not the thing to say. Jungkook only looks more worried now.

“Several times a week? That’s really not careful.”

“I don’t see a problem, there’s no one around.”

“That’s exactly my p—” He stops and shakes his head, but gives a look you’ve seen before. A lot. It’s a look that says ‘I can’t believe someone as smart as you can also be so stupid’, in those exact terms. “Expected value,” he then says, and your eyes widen a little. Maths! Great. You can do maths. “Let’s say there’s a 99% chance nothing happens. Your gain is still minimal.”

Well, you get to study late and enjoy a walk home alone at night, but you’re willing to humor him.

“But in the one per-cent where something bad happens…”

He doesn’t have to finish his sentence. You know exactly where this is going, and you let out a sigh. He’s not wrong. On that aspect, at least.

“Fine.”

He grins widely.

“I just beat you at maths.”

“You didn’t beat me, I—”

“I just beat you at maths!”

You roll your eyes, choose to let him have that. It’s not going to change anything to your behavior after tonight, because the day has not come where you’ll let probabilities rule your life, but, after all, you don’t mind sharing your night walk with him.

Jungkook starts showing up to walk you home whenever he can. It’s not every time, which you’re kind of thankful for — you like his company, but you like being alone just as much, and you need a healthy dose of that every week —, but it does happen regularly. You find him sitting in front of the library, freezing cold, and you take pity on him, buying him a coffee from the vending machine inside, seconds before they lock the building.

That’s how you find out he likes his coffee tasting as little like coffee as possible.

Sometimes, he joins you later, and you hear him jogging to catch up with you. You don’t have the heart to tell him that that defeats the purpose of everything he’s doing, because it’s absolutely terrifying.

As the days turn into weeks, the air becomes colder, and you start seeing Christmas decorations appearing over the campus. You don’t know who is in charge of doing that, but they must be excited about it, because tinsel and few strings of fairy lights start appearing around the campus at the end of November. Jungkook is delighted by it, and you enjoy watching his reactions. You’re not big on Christmas, personally. You enjoy the tradition, the gift-giving, spending time with your family — you’re visiting them briefly this year — but you mostly see Christmas as an excuse for all of that. Jungkook loves it, though, and you decide that his excitement makes you like the season a little more.

“Hey, we should make a stop,” he tells you one night.

You look at him like he’s crazy. It’s the middle of December and it’s already half past nine. You’re cold, it’s dark outside, and you want to go home.

“A stop?” you repeat.

“Oh, c’mon,” he says, and he has that wide, childish grin that you’ve seen only a handful of times. You haven’t learned how to resist it yet. “C’mon!”

You sigh. But you follow.

As it turns out, he takes you just a little way off your usual trajectory. Behind a building you’ve never really paid attention to, Jungkook leads you to a small basketball court. You eye the place suspiciously. It’s empty, well lit, but you never know. A ball might come out of nowhere to hit you in the face, as they had a tendency to do when you were in high school and playing for a team that had picked you last.

By the time you turn around to tell Jungkook that, okay, you’ve seen it, let’s go home now, he’s taken off his coat and pulled a basketball out of his bag. You don’t even want to ask. His grin is even wider than earlier.

“C’mon,” he says.

“Absolutely not.”

“Let me show you, okay?”

You want to say no but— It can’t hurt, right? And Jungkook loves basketball, and you’re his— friend or something, so you should try to take some interest in it.

You take off your coat and let him lead you onto the court. There, you watch him as he dribbles in what you guess is an effective way (you can’t know for sure, you’re barely able to catch the ball after it’s bounced once so your standards are incredibly low), and then demonstrates his ability to score a handful of times. It’s not that you’re not impressed — again, you can’t do anything with this unpredictable, devilish round thing — but you also can’t say this is a quality you think much of.

You liked it a lot better when he convinced you to let him walk you home by talking about the expected value.

“You want to try?” he offers, holding the ball out for you.

You would rather die.

But you take the ball from his hand and eye the basket like it’s personally offended you. That makes Jungkook laugh.

“You can get closer than that,” he says.

You hold back a groan, aim and, of course, fail. It’s almost a relief. You can cross that off your list, again, just like you did as a kid first, then as a teenager. You’re bad at sports, always have been and, considering the effort you’re putting into it those days, always will be. That’s something you can count on.

Before you can say anything, Jungkook’s caught the ball and is running back towards you.

“Okay, let me show you.”

Is he going to— No, he’s just demonstrating it. You’re kind of disappointed not to get your typical ‘guy teaching girl anything sports related’ moment, disappointed that he doesn’t come to stand behind you to show you like they do in movies, but you can’t unpack that right now. You do watch with some degree of interest as he shows you how to position yourself.

“So you really aim for the line above the basket, not the basket, okay?”

“If you think that just because I aim for something I hit it…”

He chuckles, then gives the ball back to you, and you sigh. This. This is why you hate sports. It’s not the one-off failure, that would be fine on its own. It’s the constant humiliation whenever you even try it. You’re going to fail this attempt, and the next one, and the one after that. You’re a lost cause. You’re fine with it, too, but you don’t particularly want to go through that again.

You do your best, though. Not because you think it will change something, but because you kind of want to prove that this isn’t all you. That, even if you’re trying your hardest, there’s just something that refuses to let you score or do it right.

“Wait!” Jungkook walks over to you, puts his hand on your back, and you freeze. “You need to straighten yourself a little,” he says, placing his hand between your shoulder blades, and you nod. His hand is warm and large, you can feel it even over your sweatshirt. “There.”

He removes the hand, and you’re left a little off balance without him by your side. You shake your head quickly, shoot, and, without any surprise, miss.

Jungkook is on the ball just as fast as before, but you’re as quick as him to grab your coat and put it back on. You’re already feeling warm all over, though.

“You don’t want to try again?” he asks, sounding genuinely disappointed.

Of course, you take pity on him.

“Maybe next time,” you say.

He gives you a bright smile, so genuinely happy, and you know that you won’t be able to deny him next time either.

Jin is the reason you’re here, and that is the version you will stick with. No, you didn’t want to go see a basketball game, even if Jungkook is playing. No, you didn’t feel the slightest bit curious about it. No, you would not be there if Jin hadn’t asked. It’s Jin’s fault if you’re here on a Friday night instead of being, well, at your place, likely doing something equally as unproductive.

You don’t even understand what is going on in the field. There’s a lot of running and throwing the ball, that’s for sure, but then, you’ve just learned that scoring from different places in the field and at different moments will not earn the players the same amount of points.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen your friends look at you with such consternation as when they had to explain it to you.

In that situation, you can’t say that you get much from looking at the field. You definitely follow Jungkook with your eyes, cheer and clap when he scores, and let out cries of disappointment with the rest of the crowd when he doesn’t, but truly, the only way you have any idea what’s going on is by looking at the score board. And the truth is, that score is a little too close for comfort.

You hate that it has that much of an impact on you, but it stresses you out. Your leg bounces on the floor, an habit of yours Jin hates, but he’s too focused to notice, which is only more stressful. Jin always notices, and if it doesn’t, it must mean that the situation is dire.

The remaining seconds are slowly ticking down. Jungkook’s team is ahead by only one point, which means that if the other team scores, they will win. You think. You’re not entirely sure, but for your defense, you’ve just heard about it. Jungkook seems to be everywhere on the field. Taehyung is his shadow, perhaps not as noticeable or as spectacular in his actions, but certainly effective.

Again, you have no knowledge of basketball whatsoever.

Jin grabs your thigh, and only then do you realize that something’s happened. The action was so quick, so smooth, that you missed it entirely — but maybe you were also kind of thinking of something else.

Someone from the other team — you don’t even know your school’s team’s players, you’re not going to learn the other ones — just made a break for it. Based on what you can tell, Taehyung blocked his path, pushing him straight into Jungkook’s arms. In a movement you cannot begin to comprehend, Jungkook takes the ball from him, without ever stopping his run.

After that, he’s unstoppable.

He crosses the field, looking almost like he’s dancing in the way he avoids his opponents, and, of course, scores.

The time falls to zero. The crowd stands up like one man, screaming and shouting, and you yourself find yourself jumping up to hug Jin. He hugs you back, but the two of you quickly separate, patting each other’s backs awkwardly.

Jin starts talking with Namjoon and Yoongi, but you tune them out — it’s not like you understand what they’re saying anyway — to look at the field. The players have lifted Jungkook on their shoulders and he’s laughing, holding on to them so he doesn’t fall, and you grin.

“Come on,” Jin says, “let’s go congratulate him!”

That sounds like a terrible idea, you think. You won’t be the only ones, as the crowd has already invaded the field, and you doubt you’ll be able to get very close.

You still follow him. You alternate between clinging to his arm and to his shoulders so you don’t lose him, and trust him to elbow his way through the crowd. You hear him apologizing profusely in front of you, but he does not stop. Slowly, you make it down. Once you’re off the stairs, people are not as compactly gathered, and you can just walk between them. Jin grins at you, and you give him a thumbs up. Yeah, he did good here. You can give him that.

“Hey, Jungkook!” he calls out.

Jungkook was talking with some girls, but he looks up at the sound of his name, excuses himself, and jogs towards the two of you.

And it is then, in the few seconds it takes him to get to you, that it hits you. Like a ton of bricks.

You had known that Jungkook was objectively attractive, of course. There was no ignoring that. But Jin was objectively attractive, too, and that had never changed anything between the two of you. With Jungkook, right now, it does. His skin is glistening with sweat, and he wipes his chin with his shirt, and oh no, you can see his well-defined biceps and the line of his abs, and some hair is escaping from his ponytail, and he’s grinning with a happy, proud smile, and his eyes are shining and—

Jungkook is hot. That’s your realization. You had been aware of it, technically, but it’s like it only clicks for you at that exact moment.

“You came,” he tells you with a bright smile, and you can feel your entire face heating up. You pray that it’s not visible.

“Yeah,” you squeak out. “Great, um, great game?”

It sounds like an interrogation because you have no idea if it was one. It looked difficult, but maybe that was because they played terribly today. You don’t know that.

Jungkook’s smile widens a little, and you know that he has you all figured out. He knows you don’t understand the first thing about this whole thing.

“Thanks,” he still says.

His chest is still heaving quickly, and it draws your attention to his— his everything. The way he’s leaning towards you as he’s trying to catch his breath doesn’t help either. You wait for Jin to say something, to save you, but when you look around, you realize the traitor has abandoned you completely.

Okay, he hasn’t technically abandoned you, he’s just gone to congratulate Taehyung, but it’s the same difference.

You hear someone else calling Jungkook’s name before you’ve figured out what to say. He looks around, then gives you an apologetic look.

“Sorry, I—”

“No problem, you should— I have to go anyway.”

This is not like you. You’re an awkward person, and you struggle in social situations, but you don’t usually trip over your words like that. You kind of hate it.

“Okay, so, um, I’ll see you…?”

“Wednesday, yeah. Or— before. At lunch. If you’re there.”

This is terrible.

“Okay.” Jungkook gives you one last smile, and then he’s off, and you’re standing alone in the middle of a crowd. Your chest is heavy and it feels painful.

You hate this.

It’s only after that that you start realizing how big of a part Jungkook now plays in your life. He walks you home at night sometimes. You eat with him once or twice a week. You study together for an entire afternoon on Wednesdays. He’s just— everywhere. And it’s not that it’s a bad thing, because the feeling you get when you see him is a pleasant one, but it is disconcerting. It’s something that you have no control over whatsoever and that’s not— that’s not good for you.

You realize how much attention you were already paying to him, too, which is even more annoying. The signs were there. You should have understood this sooner. If you had, maybe you could have prevented it.

Because that’s the thing. You know the situation is ridiculous. You believe Jungkook sees you as a friend, and you’re happy with that, but there is no way he thinks of you as anything else. That is not an idea you should even begin to entertain. You can handle rejection, you’re used to it in so many aspects, though it’s rarely romantic, but you cannot take getting your hopes up only for them to be crushed.

The thing is, you can’t help it at this point, can’t force your feelings back in. There is so much to like about him. The way he plays with his hair, the quiet laughs when he’s in public, the loud ones when he’s walking you home, the sparkle in his eyes when he asks you a question in maths and it turns out he already had it right, the look on his face when he talks about basketball,… There’s so much.

You briefly consider avoiding him, but that’s not really an option. You like being his friend. You see your feelings as annoying, pesky little things that have no business being there in the first place. You don’t even hate the rush that goes through you when you see him, the way just looking at him brings a smile to your lips that you simply can’t hold back.

But you really, really hate the wishful thinking. The hope.

The feelings are fine, as long as you don’t think too hard about it. As long as he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Because that would break your heart.

And it’s only a matter of time before that happens.

You really considered declining when Jin asked you to come to this New Year’s party. Your last experience had effectively convinced you that those new parties he was getting invited to were not for you. That was fine, to each their own, but that did mean you didn’t really want to go. He clearly didn’t need you there anyway. You didn’t even know why he asked.

But he did, and he insisted, and he gave you his best puppy eyes, and that’s the thing about Jin: he’s very, very good at giving puppy eyes.

So that’s why you’re there, wearing a red dress that’s way too flashy for you, leaning against a wall and staring into the void. You feel empty and, though you’re not alone, lonely. You’re surrounded by strangers, and there are people everywhere in the house, but you don’t know them, and you can’t just start a conversation with them. It’s not something you do, it’s not even something you want.

You haven’t felt the urge to lock yourself inside a closet yet, though, so you guess that’s an improvement compared to last time.

Looking around, you can see Jimin, perched on the counter, listening to Yoongi talk with a smile on his face. Jin is somewhere else in the room and, though you can’t see him, you sometimes hear him, so you know he has his flirting voice on. Namjoon is nowhere to be seen, but that’s probably a good sign. He always get lucky at those parties. You don’t know how he does it. It’s impressive, honestly. Hoseok showed up earlier, and everyone greeted him like he was a star — which is kind of accurate, actually, at the campus’ scale.

You know, of course, that Jungkook and Taehyung, as inseparable as ever, are by the pool table. You also hate that you know it, because now your mind is constantly wondering if it’s weird that you haven’t been there yet, or if it would be weird to show up. Neither, probably, because exactly no one cares except for you, but you’re the master of torturing yourself with useless considerations.

God, you hate having a crush. It’s just so— unpractical. You also hate that you didn’t see that one coming, and that you didn’t do anything about it until it was too late. Usually, you’re pretty good at nipping those kinds of feelings in the bud. Now, you can only wait it out.

With a sigh, you push yourself away from the wall to wander aimlessly around the house. You promised Jin you’d stay until midnight, and you intend to keep that promise. It’s not like there’s anything for you to do, but still, that way you can look like you’re doing something and look a little less weird. Or maybe you don’t. It doesn’t really matter anyway.

Passing in front of the room with the pool table, you realize that Jungkook is gone. Taehyung is still there, playing with Hoseok, both looking pretty wasted, but Jungkook has vanished. That’s not good. You don’t want him to spring up on you out of nowhere like he did last time. You won’t know how to react if that happens, probably fumble for words, and it will be very unpleasant and very embarrassing for everyone.

You consider finding another closet, then decides against it. There’s just fifteen minutes left until midnight, anyway. That’s not too long. You can just wait it out.

You slowly make your way through the house. No sign of Jungkook anywhere. Maybe he left. Maybe he’s already back to the pool table and you missed him completely. Maybe he’s locked himself in a room with a girl and—

Oh you hate this. You hate feeling jealous. You hate that you have no control over it, you hate that it makes you sad, you hate that you have no right to feel like that. Jungkook isn’t yours. He’s probably even considered you for anything. You should consider yourself lucky you’re even friends with him in the first place.

You do your best to push everything out of your mind. Alcohol has never looked more tempting, but you don’t want the hangover with the morning, so you ignore the inviting bottles of beer and walk out.

It’s freezing — of course it’s freezing, it’s December you idiot, is there anything you can do right tonight — and you shiver, but you stay there. The cold is both numbing and soothing, and while you’re mentally complaining about it, you’re not thinking about anything else, so that’s good.

The door opens and closes behind you, and you guess someone is coming out to smoke. You move over to give them some space, but just as you do that, a jacket falls over your shoulders. You jump at first, and then the warmth makes you sigh in relief.

“You shouldn’t go out without a coat,” Jungkook says, because of course it’s him.

“I feel that you’ve been scolding me a lot recently,” you chuckle, glancing up at him.

He pouts, buries his hands in his pockets. He’s obviously cold as well, but at least his shirt covers his arms.

It also hugs his muscles real nice, but that’s besides the point.

“That’s because you make very poor decisions,” he mutters, looking at his feet. “You have to realize that.”

“You’re right. I could have taken my coat outside.”

“You know that walking back all alone in the middle of the night is way worse,” he protests, and then you laugh, because that’s exactly what you wanted, and he goes quiet for a second. “Don’t make fun of me,” he mumbles, looking away from you again.

“I’m not,” you say, and you take a step in his direction so you can bump your shoulder against his. “You shouldn’t worry that much, but I think it’s nice that you do. I was just trying to get a rise out of you.”

“That worked really well,” he says, and he sounds surprised about it. You wonder if it’s because he usually doesn’t get angry for stuff, but you can’t tell for sure. “Hey, you—”

People start shouting numbers inside, and you turn around to look at them.

“It’s midnight,” you say.

“Five!”

You look up at Jungkook. He’s significantly taller than you. Not as much as Namjoon, but still.

“Four!”

Jungkook looks back at you, smiles, and it takes your breath away. His hair looks very good like that, you think absent-mindedly, with the way it falls on either side of his face.

“Three!”

It’s too late to go back inside now. It would definitely be a weird thing to do. Which means you’re here, alone, with Jungkook.

“Two!”

Your eyes flicker to his lips. You wonder what it would be like to kiss them. You haven’t let yourself even consider it before, but right now your brain isn’t functioning all that well. Probably because of how loud your heart is beating in your chest.

“One!”

You look back up and his eyes are wide and focused on you. There’s that same tension in his shoulders as when you first met him, except, back then, he couldn’t look at you, and now it seems that he can’t look away.

“Happy new year!”

You decide you shouldn’t think about your next move. You get on your tiptoes to plant a kiss at the corner of his lips, right at the border between friends and something else, but he leans forward right at that moment, and his hands cup your face, and then he’s kissing you.

It’s like an explosion. You don’t know what you should focus on. How warm he is, how soft and large his hands are, how his lips move against yours, how he tastes, or simply the fact that he’s kissing you, Jungkook is kissing you!

The door slams open, and the two of you move away in a jump.

“Happy new year Jungkook!” Taehyung shouts, obviously drunk, soon joined by several other members of the basketball team. If he’s seen what happened, he doesn’t say anything, and you doubt Taehyung would have that kind of control over himself.

Soon, Jungkook is surrounded and they start to drag him back inside. He gives you a brief, apologetic look, then follows them, laughing. You remain there, frozen, unsure of what to do. You take a hesitant step towards the door, only to see a girl planting kisses on his cheeks while he blushes. What gets to you, though, is the arm he’s wrapped around her, the way he’s tracing circles on the naked skin of her shoulder. It makes the gesture look… intimate. Personal.

You let out a brief, bitter laugh, that there is fortunately no one to hear. You feel confused, but mostly, you feel stupid.

Fuck that.

It doesn’t take long for you to drop the jacket onto a chair and find your coat. You wish a happy new year to Namjoon, when you pass by him on your way out, and he looks a little surprised, like he hasn’t heard the shouting. You don’t want to know what he could have been up to.

You’ve kept your end of the bargain, you think as you leave. Jin won’t be able to complain to you. You feel some petty sort of satisfaction when you step outside and find yourself alone alone, finally. You like this. You like being alone. You’ve never asked for anything else.

You give one last look to the party, then vanish into the night. You’re better off on your own anyway.

“I don’t think I’ll be coming,” you say, nonchalantly, as everyone around the table is talking animatedly about a party for the next week-end.

You had hoped it would go unnoticed in the middle of the conversation, but, unfortunately, that doesn’t go as planned. Taehyung turns horrified eyes towards you, Jin, Namjoon and Yoongi all look surprised, and Jungkook… You don’t know how to read him. There’s that surprise, as well, but then he looks down before you can tell anything else. Not that that changes much. He’s barely looked at you today.

You haven’t talked to him since New Year’s Eve. You had other things on your mind, and then he didn’t show up at the library last Wednesday.

“What do you mean, you won’t be coming?” Jin asks. “You always come to parties.”

You shrug. You don’t miss the alarmed looks your friends are exchanging, and you’re sure Namjoon can see through you. Because it’s not like you to do something like that, whatever reason you may give.

“I don’t like them. They’re too loud, and I can’t say that I really enjoy standing alone for half the night.”

“You could stay with us,” Namjoon offers.

“And watch you pick up a girl every time? No thank you,” you reply with a disgusted shiver.

“You could stay with me,” Yoongi says.

You give him a look, and he grimaces, backing down immediately. Okay. He can see why you wouldn’t want that either. Plus he’s pretty sure that Jimin and him are about to get it on after weeks of flirting, so it’s probably not a great idea.

“What about me?” Jin asks. He doesn’t sound as energetic as usual, his voice almost quiet, and you realize that he probably feels bad because of what you said. He knows you come to those parties because of him, so knowing you don’t have fun at all when you’re attending — you understand that he might feel responsible.

“I think I would bore you very quickly,” you chuckle. “You’re not going to get the fun you want with me. But it’s fine, really. I tried it, and now I know it’s not for me. I can just—”

“No,” Taehyung says.

You blink.

“No?”

“I’m taking this personally,” he tells you, looking you dead in the eye. “You’re coming to this party and I’m going to make you enjoy yourself.”

You’ve never seen him so serious, and you can’t help it. You burst out laughing.

“Taehyung,” you say softly when you’re done. “I appreciate that, I do, but I don’t want to do that anymore.”

Taehyung opens his mouth, then winces and closes it. You’re not sure what happened there, but he gives Jungkook an offended look.

“I’m sorry,” you add. “I’m sure your parties can be great, but—”

“I get it,” he sighs. “But you owe me.”

You’re not sure why, but fine.

“And you can’t say anything bad about those parties, to anyone. Ever.” In that moment, he looks almost threatening, and you blink, confused. He can’t possibly take it that seriously, can he?

Then he yelps and rubs his leg. He gives Jungkook another annoyed look, but Jungkook doesn’t even look up from his food.

“Leave her alone,” he just mumbles.

Taehyung rolls his eyes, but doesn’t add anything. He does give you a long, pointed glance, though, before muttering under his breath something that sounds a lot like “I won’t let that slander stand,” and you think that’s hilarious too.

When you risk a glance at Jungkook, his arms are folded over his chest, and he looks deep in thought. He’s chewing on his bottom lip, eyes focused on his meal, though he’s not touching it. It’s stupid, but the image of a child that has just been scolded flashes in your mind.

“Jungkook? Is everything alright?”

He jumps at your question, looks at you like a deer caught in headlights. Your eyes meet, but it’s extremely brief, and your chest tightens. This sucks. You thought the two of you had gotten past that now, and you hate that you lost what you had. It’s not like it’s your fault. He kissed you, and then he bailed on you first chance he got. Why would he do that, why would he risk it, if he was going to react like that afterwards?

“I’m fine,” he says with a tense smile, and you doubt it’s true, but you don’t know what you should ask him to confront him about it. You don’t want to talk about the kiss ever again. You certainly don’t want to do it in front of your friends.

So you jump on the first chance you get to leave the table. You don’t ask yourself if it’s a weird thing to do. It probably is, but fuck it, you’re weird, and everyone else can deal with it. You refuse to subject yourself to something unpleasant longer than absolutely necessary.

Except the looks you get are mostly concerned ones, from Namjoon and Jin. Jungkook does look up as you walk away, eyes following you almost longingly, and then he lets out a long sigh that catches Taehyung’s attention. He doesn’t say anything, but he narrows his eyes at him.

God. He really has to get everything done here, doesn’t he?

At first, you think that this is it. Your— your whatever it was that you had with Jungkook is over. You’ll see him around every now and then, and maybe he’ll give you a polite nod, though it doesn’t look like he would even do that right now, but there won’t be anything else. You’ll go back to being basically strangers, and it will be fine, because really, nothing happened there, right? You had a crush on him, he kissed you once, and then nothing. It’s fine. You’ll be fine.

Sure, it makes you a little sad. Sure, you catch yourself looking at him while he’s surrounded by girls who are all so much better for him than you ever were, and it hurts a little. Sure, walking back home alone at night is a little more unpleasant than it used to be, but that’s the thing. It’s only a little. You would almost pat yourself on the back for it. Congrats, (Y/N). You made it out before you got too attached. You probably avoided a world of hurt.

Because you know. You know that if you had gotten in too deep, it would have hurt like hell to not have Jeon Jungkook. And sure, it hurts right now.

But only a little.

You’re good. You’re safe. You know that Namjoon and Yoongi would nod if you told them about it. They understand, in a way a lot of other people don’t. You don’t think that Jin would, for example. He would tell you to take the risk, not understanding that people like Jungkook used to pick you last for their teams when you were in high school, not understanding that as far as you’re concerned, you’ve handled more than enough rejection throughout your life. But Namjoon and Yoongi… They’re definitely more successful than you in matters of the heart, but they would still understand. Not that you’re going to tell them about it, because it’s a stupid story, because there never was anything there, and because you’d feel really dumb talking about how you thought, how you hoped that— You’re not going to tell them anything. At least everything’s okay now.

And then, Jungkook appears at your usual table at the library on a Wednesday afternoon. He drops his bag on the floor and takes a seat next to you. You’re surprised to see him when you look up, too focused on your studies to notice him approaching. He has big, wide doe eyes, and he watches your reaction carefully.

“You’re— This seat isn’t taken?”

You shake your head. No. People rarely come here, and you don’t really study with people. Well, didn’t, you suppose.

“Do you mind if I sit here?“

“The seat’s free. You can take it if you want.”

You don’t know what to do. You don’t know how to react. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You never considered that Jungkook would— That he would—

“I, um, I like studying with you. It helps me focus,” he says, eyes flickering away from you. “So, if you don’t mind I’ll— Can I come back here on Wednesdays?”

You want to tell him that you can’t stop him, that he can do whatever the hell he want, but even though it’s on the tip of your tongue, you don’t.

“Of course you can,” you say instead.

Jungkook looks up long enough to flash you a smile, and you know. This isn’t over, and you’re not going to be fine. You’re probably going to feel crushed, sooner than later, and you could have stopped it all right now.

You think about Yoongi and how not like him it is to be doing what he is with Jimin. How he’s taking a risk. How it could oh so easily not have paid off.

It’s going to, of course. You just need to look at Jimin’s eyes when he’s talking to Yoongi to know that. But Jungkook doesn’t look at you like that. Jungkook doesn’t look at you at all.

And yet here you are. Taking that exact same risk.

God. You can be so stupid some times.

Jungkook glances at you quickly while you’re deep in thought, tapping your pencil against your cheek, and a small smile forms on his lips. He’s quick to glance away, because he would hate it if you caught him, of course, but the smile doesn’t fade.

He couldn’t have forced it to do so if he tried.

“You have to come to the next game.”

“Taehyung, hey, nice to see you to, I’m doing fine, I—”

“I’m serious, (Y/N). I know you hate basketball and everything that breathes, but—”

“I don’t hate you.”

“—this is really important and— Wait, really? Thank you. I feel that means a lot coming from you.”

“Is that how you see me? I don’t hate everyone, Taehyung.”

“Can you give me a list of people you don’t hate?”

“Well, you, Jin, Yoongi, Namjoon…”

“Jungkook?”

“…Sure. Jungkook. Why do you want me to come to the next game?”

“Because we might lose.”

“And I’m supposed to change that how?”

“You owe me, remember?”

“I— Because of the parties? Seriously? I need to sit through hours of you guys running after a ball because I don’t like parties?”

“I would really appreciate it if you could avoid describing basketball as ‘guys running after a ball’.”

“I would really appreciate not having to go watch the game.”

“Don’t you want to support your friends on the team?”

“Ugh. Fine. I’ll be there. Just— stop that thing you’re doing with your eyebrows. Why are you even doing that?”

“You’re so slow. How are you so slow? I thought you were supposed to be smart!”

“Taehyung…”

“Just be there!”

“I will.”

“You better!”

“Or what, what will you— Taehyung! You can’t just run off like— Well. I guess he could.”

You hadn’t thought sitting through a basketball game could become a more painful experience to you than it already was. As it turns out, you were wrong. It was so much worse when the people you wanted to win were losing. Despite yourself, you found yourself getting invested, standing up and shouting encouragements along with Jin and Namjoon, and protesting loudly when things didn’t go your way.

You were not cut out for this. Not because you still didn’t understand half the rules — you could have by now if you had made the effort of memorizing them — but because of the stress. God, how did your friends handle that regularly? How did the players handle it? You kept looking at Jungkook. You could tell how unhappy he was with the situation, could see the disappointment settling in. He also seemed to get more nervous as time went by, which didn’t help his performance, and his words kept echoing in your mind.

”I don’t know what’s going to happen when I stop being as good.”

You’re half way through the game and things are not looking good when Taehyung waves you over. You run to the railway, straining to hear him, and when you finally understand what he’s saying, you regret making any effort at all.

“You can’t possibly be serious!”

But he is.

“You owe me, (Y/N)!”

“I’m already— What’s it even going to do?”

“Trust me on that one, okay?”

You glare at him, but he’s looking at you with his beautiful brown eyes, and there’s nothing you can do against that. You sigh deeply. Your heart is beating wildly in your chest just thinking about what he’s asking you to do. Maybe it’s not such a big deal for him, that sort of stuff, but for you— For you it’s downright insane to even consider.

“Kim Taehyung,” you hiss through gritted teeth, “if this goes bad, I’ll kill you and plant your head on a stick outside of my door to warn my enemies not to underestimate me.”

He has the audacity to shrug at that.

“It won’t go bad.”

You look up. Take a deep breath. And call Jungkook’s name.

The gym is insanely loud, and it takes both you and Taehyung’s efforts, as well as a lot of waving, for Jungkook to notice you. When he does, though, he runs towards you, worry obvious on his face. He’s looking directly at you for once, and the intensity of his stare almost makes you shiver.

“Is everything alright?” he asks when he gets there, eyes scanning you quickly to make sure that you’re okay.

“It’s fine, I just—”

“What are you doing here? You hate basketball. Did something happen?”

You shake your head. You don’t know how you’re supposed to do this, especially when he’s looking so puzzled and when he’s questioning your sanity for showing up at one of his games. You glance over at Taehyung who gives you a decided nod.

Ah. Fuck it.

Leaning over about as far as you can go, you cup Jungkook’s face, and as his expression turns to one of surprise, you kiss him. If people around notice or have a reaction, you can’t tell, because Jungkook pushes himself against you and buries his hand in your hair as he holds you. There’s not much space left for thinking in your mind, instead entirely consumed by thoughts of him. He’s completely sober this time, and you don’t taste alcohol on his tongue. He’s also not going as slow, almost desperately kissing you back, one strong hand supporting you so you don’t fall over, and you just melt.

It takes everything in you to push yourself away. When you do, you’re breathless, and he’s staring at you with eyes even wider than usual. You’re pretty sure Taehyung would want you to give an encouraging speech right now, but you don’t want to do that right now.

“I really don’t care if you’re winning or losing games,” you say instead. “If you’re sad, I’ll be sad with you, but it’s never going to change anything in how I see you. But I’ll be here encouraging you.”

He grabs your hand, squeezing it tight.

“Promise?” he asks, almost childishly.

You’re not sure which part he’s referring to, but they’re all true, so you nod.

“I promise.”

He smiles, and then both him and Taehyung are running back across the field and getting yelled at by their coach, but even from where you’re standing, you can see their smiles.

You guess that means you’re not going to murder Taehyung.

“This is actually insane. How is Jungkook even doing that?” Yoongi asks in disbelief after Jungkook scored extremely impressively yet again, and you fidget in your seat. You’re very happy to see that, though you don’t how you feel about the smug looks Taehyung is sending you, but you don’t want—

“It’s the power of love,” Jin says, nodding like he just gave an essential truth to the meaning of life.

—this. You, very specifically, don’t want this.

“Jin,” you sigh, “there’s no such thing as—”

“Actually,” Namjoon interrupts you, “I think he’s right. The power of love is a thing, and I think this is a perfect demonstration of it.”

You gape at him, in shock. He betrayed you?

“Did you just—”

“Namjoon’s right,” Yoongi nods. “This is how the power of love works. You take love, and you turn it into strength.”

And then, him, Jin and Namjoon high five, and you gasp. Traitors. All of them.

But after that, Jimin says off-handedly “Maybe you should come and kiss me before my next competition” and Yoongi’s brain visibly stops functioning, so you consider yourself avenged.

After the match, you wait for Jungkook outside of the locker room. Jin insisted you should go celebrate on the field, but you had declined. It felt like the situation required something a little more private, so now you’re here, leaning against the wall, looking at your phone so you’ll seem busy, even if there’s nothing on there to occupy yourself.

You’re not the only one there, and that doesn’t help soothing your nerves. There are a lot of girls, all pretty and smiling. It makes you feel like a groupie, and you don’t like it. You’re relieved for a second when the door opens and the team comes out, but it doesn’t last long, because the girls are soon surrounding them. You remain where you were standing, watching the whole thing happen. It takes a few moments before you notice Jungkook’s bun standing out of the group, and it makes you smile.

You catch Taehyung’s eye first, and, after you’ve sent him a glare that you hope was threatening, he pushes Jungkook out of the group. At first, he seems confused, before he finally finds you. You wave at him hesitantly. He blinks a few times, his eyes wide, then walks towards you.

“Hey,” he says when he joins you. He’s towering over you. Usually, you don’t like that, and you’ve complained about having to look up at Namjoon more than once, but you don’t necessarily mind right now.

“Hey,” you reply.

Silence stretches between the two of you as you try to think of something to say. You should have prepared a speech, you know that, but you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t have been able to say it either.

“Taehyung told me he told you to kiss me,” Jungkook blurts out after a while, looking away from you, and you give him a surprised glance. “So, you don’t have to—”

“No, I wanted to kiss you,” you interrupt him, a puzzled frown forming on your face.

Jungkook’s head whips back towards you, and you just stare at him in confusion.

“Do you really think I would have kissed you just because Taehyung asked me to?”

“Well you— you came to the game because he asked you to, right?”

“That’s not the same—”

“Jungkook!” someone from the team calls. “We’re going to grab a bite to celebrate, do you wanna come?”

Jungkook sighs, then gives you a sharp look.

“You wanted to kiss me,” he repeats.

You nod.

“Why?”

You bite your lower lip, and you’re not oblivious to the way his eyes fall to your mouth when you do.

“And I’m the blunt one,” you mumble.

“Sorry, I–”

“No, no, it’s fine, it’s just— I wanted to kiss you because I like you. Obviously.”

Jungkook swallows, and you can see his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. He looks over his shoulder at his friends.

“You can go without me!”

There are some protests, but he ignores them to give you his entire attention. It’s… not an unpleasant feeling.

“You disappeared after I kissed you the last time,” he says.

“You left,” you protest immediately. “You kissed me, and then the second your friends arrived, you acted like nothing happened and you left.”

“I didn’t want to— I just— They’re really annoying about that stuff, you know? I thought it would probably be better if I talked to you after— ‘m sorry. I didn��t— didn’t realize it—”

You look at Jungkook, watch him fumbling for words, and it hits you like a ton of bricks, how much you do like him. Those words really don’t do it justice, and maybe you’re not quite ready to talk about love just yet, but you like him so much, so much it makes your heart swell, so much you don’t think what what he’s trying to tell you would change anything to it, and yet what he’s trying to say is exactly what prompts your realization. He didn’t want to hurt you. Wanted this to be private, for just the two of you, wanted to see how you felt about it. And maybe he went the wrong way about it, but it means everything that he was trying.

“Walk me home?” you ask.

Jungkook finally stops his rambling.

“Are you sure?”

Of course, he has to ask that now, after weeks of trying to convince him to let you walk on your own. Still, you smile and nod, and when you start walking side by side, you grab his hand. He freezes temporarily before grinning and squeezing your hand, pulling it into his pocket so you won’t be too cold, because the air of January is chilling.

“Congratulations for the game,” you say after a long, comfortable silence. You had almost forgotten about it.

“Thanks,” he chuckles. “I had some help.”

And then, he winks at you, and your heart misses a beat. That’s when you understand something you hadn’t even considered before: if Jungkook stops being shy around you, you’re done for. You’ll be the one constantly flustered.

“So,” you say, slowly, trying to keep yourself composed, “why did you kiss me?”

“Um. Same as you?” Jungkook’s confidence disappears, and he returns to his awkward self, and you see that, as much as you like it, you want him to be comfortable around you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t tease him a little.

“What do you mean by that?” you ask innocently.

He gives you a horrified look that soon turns to an offended one when he notices you grinning widely.

“You’re so mean,” he says, but he’s smiling too, “you’re the meanest person I know.”

You’re laughing at that point, as you stop in front of your dorm.

“That’s not an answer.”

“Fine,” he sighs dramatically. “I kissed you because I like you.”

It’s funny. You knew that was what he was going to say, knew it was coming, and yet it gets to you all the same.

“With you, I don’t feel like I have to be the school’s star, you know? I can just be— Jungkook. You don’t expect me to be anything else.”

He’s right. You like Jungkook. With his insecurities and his flaws. You don’t want him to perform for you, and you don’t care what he’s doing right and wrong. Just studying maths in the library with him makes you happy.

He eyes your dorm and takes a deep breath.

“I should go,” he says.

You hum.

“Yes, it would be a really bad idea if you came up tonight.”

But you’re not letting go of his hand, and he’s close to you now, close enough that you can feel his breath catching in his throat. It makes you smile.

“You’re so mean,” he repeats.

This time, instead of laughing, you kiss him, and it’s completely different from the two previous times. There is no uncertainty in this kiss, no surprise, no pressure, no fear. It’s perfect. Jungkook’s hand comes to cup your cheek, his lips soft against your own. His long fingers gently stroke your jaw as he keeps the kiss chaste and sweet. It only makes you yearn for more and when he moves away, you can see in his eyes that he wants more as well.

You just don’t think he wants it now.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” you ask.

“I’ll meet you for lunch,” he says solemnly, and it rings like a promise, which makes you smile.

When you move away, though, he doesn’t let go of you, and a pouty expression appears on his face before he releases you.

“I— Yeah. You should go.”

“You can come up if you want to, you know?”

He hesitates, rolls his lips together.

“I want to savor this,” he admits to you in a near whisper.

“Then I’ll go.”

“Yes. Good night.”

“Good night.”

You feel light and giddy as you walk through the door. It’s a nice and strange feeling, like you could just start floating any second.

You already can’t wait for the next day.

People are definitely weirded out by your relationship with Jungkook. Or, rather, by Jungkook’s relationship with you. You’re pretty sure most of the people who give you weird looks when you sit next to him and he wraps his arm around you, or when you walk hand in hand, wouldn’t pay attention to you if you went to class naked. But they all know who Jungkook is, and you guess it is weird to see you in conjunction with him.

They could ignore it and consider you mere part of the scenery when he ate with you, you suppose, but it is harder to do now. You’re not too fond of being the center of attention, to be honest. You don’t know how Jungkook does it.

What takes you by surprise the most is people being nice to you. That confuses you to no end, because you know for a fact they don’t care about you, not really, and you cannot fathom what they think they’re going to get out of this. You’re pretty sure there are a girl or two who are doing that to get closer to Jungkook, and some, you think, have decided to be nice to you because they think that if Jungkook likes you, you can’t be a total lost cause.

You don’t like that feeling. Not at all. You don’t like it when you’re going to class, you don’t like it during lunch, and you definitely, definitely do not like it when people rush towards you the second you get to a party.

Yeah, you’re giving Taehyung what he wanted, in the end. He said that both you and Jungkook owed him, because without him you wouldn’t be together, and you eventually gave in.

You thought it would be fine, now that you have someone to spend time with, but you understand with horror that your status has changed now. You’re not invisible anymore. You’re Jungkook’s girlfriendTM. Because of that, you spend much longer in the entrance making small talk than you would have wished to, and you’re stopped a couple of times while you’re desperately looking for your boyfriend to save you from this hell on earth.

You’re not surprised at all to find him playing beer pong with Taehyung and other guys from the team. He hasn’t gotten time to get drunk yet, so he’s quite impressive, but then again, they all are. That’s why they usually end up wasted.

The second he sees you, though, he abandons the game completely, and the smile on his face threatens to make your heart explode in your chest. Some of the guys turn around to look at you, give you a wave or a smile. Taehyung shouts a greeting.

“Hey,” Jungkook says, leaning in to press a quick kiss on your lips. He doesn’t like PDA all that much, but he never misses a chance to kiss you, and the thought makes you all giddy.

“Hey. Are you, um, having fun there?”

He shrugs.

“It’s not that bad. Wanna play?” He waits for your expression to turn to one of horror as you try to refuse politely before laughing. “Just kidding. Don’t worry about it.”

You let out a relieved breath. You know you and Jungkook are very different people, and you’re doing your best to take an interest in the things he likes. You’ve been learning the rules of basketball, for example, and though you still don’t believe you get the point, you like the way his eyes shine when you say something right about a game.

But you don’t take part in any of that stuff. Okay, you stop at that field that’s on your way home from the library every now and again, but that doesn’t count. It’s just you and him then, and you feel good and relaxed. You’ve even scored a couple of times now.

“Come on, I want to grab a drink,” Jungkook said, taking your hand in his, and you follow without protesting.

It’s probably your second mistake of the night: not realizing that getting a drink with and without Jungkook are two very different ordeals. On your way there, you get roped into several conversations. Those are fine. You can’t say you enjoy them, but they’re fine, and it’s not like those people are actually talking to you anyway.

What you genuinely dislike is that, when you’re by the table with the drinks, a girl starts openly flirting with your boyfriend. It’s not subtle, either, with the way she keeps touching his arm and how she laughs at his every word.

For a while, you just stare in disbelief. You know Jungkook is oblivious to that sort of things — probably one more reason why he likes how blunt you are — but you can’t believe her. You wouldn’t necessarily blame the girl for trying, either, if she didn’t know about you. Jungkook’s quite the catch after all, and you understand liking him better than anyone else.

No, it’s the fact that she’s doing it right in front of you, while Jungkook is holding your hand. It feels so— dismissive. So insulting. She’s not exactly saying to your face that she doesn’t take you seriously, but she might as well.

You watch incredulously when she puts her hand on his arm one more time. You don’t know how you’re supposed to handle that, so you just tug on Jungkook’s hand a little awkwardly. You’re pleased by how quickly his attention snaps to you, even while the girl is in the middle of her sentence. It’s a petty sentiment, for sure, but you can’t help it.

“Everything okay?” he asks. “Is it too loud in here?”

“Kind of, but—”

“Let’s find you a quieter place.”

He forgets about the drink he wanted to get, forgets about the girl, who he abandons there unceremoniously, gently pulling you through the room. Next thing you know, he’s carefully closing the doors of the closet he’s found for the two of you behind you.

“There,” he says, sounding satisfied with himself. “Better?”

You chuckle at that and, guessing for him in the half-light, you pull him towards you for a kiss. You press your body against his, pushing him against the back of the closet, and a groan forms in his throat. His hands tighten around you, sending shivers through your entire being, and you only lean into him more. You run your fingers over his chest, just to feel him tremble under your touch and he does, hissing with pleasure at the contact.

“Fuck,” he mumbles into your mouth. “Was that— was that what you had in mind?”

You shake your head, and he’s close enough to feel it.

“That girl was flirting with you,” you tell him.

“Oh. Are you sure?”

You are.

“So… are you jealous? Because that’s kind of hot.”

You laugh softly. Truth is, you really, really don’t want to be the jealous girlfriend, but Jungkook actually sounds happy about the idea.

“You really didn’t notice?”

There’s a moment of silence.

“I didn’t. Does that— Did it bother you, that she was doing that?”

“Kind of,” you shrug. “What about you? You’re— cool with that?”

“If it bothers you I don’t like it,” he replies simply, one of his hand leaving your waist to grab yours and squeeze it gently. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice.”

That makes you chuckle.

“How didn’t you? She would have made it barely more obvious if she had started undressing herself.”

Jungkook has an awkward laugh, and you can feel his breath on your face. He starts fidgeting, but then you press a kiss right at the corner of his lips, and he calms down, if just a little.

“It’s— You have to promise you won’t make fun of me.”

“I won’t.”

He hesitates a second longer, as though he’s trying to judge your sincerity by looking at you — except, of course, he can barely see a thing in here. You kiss him again, following his jaw, and he finally gives in when you start making your way down his neck.

“When I’m with you, it’s like my vision narrows on you,” he says, voice low. “I know everything and everyone else is still there, but I just think about you. Sorry, it’s really stupid.”

“It’s not,” you say, shaking your head, wondering if he can feel your heart beating stupidly fast in your chest, all because his words make you feel like nothing else ever has before. “But I’m— I’m kind of boring. That can’t be fun.”

“You’re not boring,” he protests. “You listen to people, even when you don’t look like it. You always look like you have a thousand things on your mind but you always make time for your friends, and when you’re studying here, you play with your hair.” He twirls a lock of your hair around one of his fingers before releasing it, as if to demonstrate. “You’re a very, very interesting person to look at.”

The only thing you can do is stay there, frozen in his arms, after he’s said that. You may be blunt, but Jungkook is honest. Devastatingly so. His vulnerability always shatters the walls that you’ve built around yourself, and you still don’t know how to react when that happens.

So you push yourself on your tiptoes to kiss him again, except this time it’s slow and gentle and you’re trying to put everything he means to you into it. The tip of your fingers are on his cheeks, your mouth barely moving against his, soft noises filling the closet. Jungkook remains still, letting you in complete control, like he’s afraid he could break you if he moved.

“Thank you,” you whisper when you pull away from him.

“For what?” he asks, breathless.

“For being here with me tonight, and for coming with me at that first party.”

“Of course. Any time.”

He lets himself fall to the floor, taking you down with him and keeping you into his lap once he’s done that. You rest your head against his chest. You hear the noises of the party still going on outside, but Jungkook is your island of peace in the middle of the chaos.

“I think I’m going to stop basketball,” Jungkook blurts out without a warning, and you look at him, surprised.

“Really?” you ask.

“Yeah. Really. I just— I don’t want to be doing that anymore.”

You think about it for a few seconds, then nod.

“You probably should stop, in that case.”

“People are… not going to be happy about it.”

“I’m sure Taehyung won’t be mad at you. Well, not for too long.”

He laughs softly, but his hold on you doesn’t relax, and you know that this was hard for him to even consider. You know it’s a terrifying decision to take, too.

“Thank you,” he says. “For being here with me tonight, too.”

“Any time.”

The truth is, you wouldn’t give that moment away for anything in the world, and something tells you Jungkook wouldn’t either. It’s not ideal, it’s not perfect, but you don’t believe there is such a thing, and you’re happy to satisfy yourself with the imperfect.

But any moment you can spend in Jungkook is as close to perfect as can be.

“I love you,” he whispers in your ear, and you think that he might feels the same way, which almost makes you burst with happiness.

“And I love you,” you whisper back.

Not perfect, perhaps. But close enough.

[yyxgin]

7 days (lee minho)

pairing: lee minho x gn reader genre: fluff, best friends to lovers au, college au word count: 3.7 k  warnings: swearing, mention of alcohol in like one sentence listen to: 7 days - nct dream requested by: anon

synopsis: you confess your love to your best friend for a whole week before he finally takes it seriously.

THINGS YOU SAID MASTERLIST 28) things you said in the dark

MONDAY

Lee Minho is your best friend. Now, Lee Felix would disagree and say you’re in love with him, and your roommate might be right, but you’ll never actually admit it to him. You managed to hide your feelings for the older boy for far too long now and you’re not just going to lose your streak for nothing, right? 

Wrong.

Well, it’s not your fault that you have to break the little promise you gave to yourself. It’s all on Lee Felix and his pathetic bet. You should have known better than to make bets with a short Australian boy, but you guess even your brain has its dark moments and this was surely one of them.

“I bet you’ll forget to take out the things from the dishwasher before I come back from my afternoon class,” he prompts to say while putting on his shoes in the hall, glaring at you after a small argument you two had over who is the dirtier one in your apartment (it’s obviously Felix. He just can’t stand the truth). 

“Oh yeah? What are we betting on, then?” you mock him, pouting in annoyance. 

“If I come back and the dishwasher is still full, you’ll have to confess to Minho. No excuses.” he spits at you, putting on his coat and taking his backpack from the floor, looking like an angry cat. 

You snort at his comment. “As if,” you roll your eyes, “okay, deal. And if I don’t forget and you lose this bet, you’ll have to clean for the whole year alone. I’m not helping in the slightest.” you bark at him, watching him open the door and snickering at your proposal.

“Right. Okay,” he nods his head, getting out of your shared apartment, “deal.”

Now, this was a huge deal for you. It was important for you to win this bet, because, well, you hate cleaning. And on top of that, you can’t just confess to your best friend out of the blue, right? That would be horrible. Everyone would have thought you paid much attention to your task and that you actually did what you had to do-- take the dishes out of the dishwasher for once. It was easy!

Well… you see… Friends were on the TV. 

Isn’t that enough of a reasoning for you forgetting? No? 

Okay, right, maybe you do have a memory of a goldfish. But it’s totally not your fault that the episode that was running was just your favorite and Felix’s afternoon class wasn’t as long as you thought it was going to be!

Needless to say, Felix came home to a full dishwasher and a shit-eating grin on his face announcing his victory, bringing you back to your senses.

“Oh no..” you curse under your breath, fear in your eyes.

“Do it. Now,” he orders, “call him. I can’t believe you actually forgot.” he shakes his head, laughing to himself, “oh, well, I did think you would, but something inside of me still had a little bit of hope.” he shrugs, watching you nervously sweat under his gaze.

“I can’t!” 

“It was a bet, you little bitch! Do it now or I’m telling him!” he yells, motioning to your phone and glaring at you for the thousandth time that day, making you take it with shaky fingers and a deep sigh coming out of your mouth, dialing your best friend’s number, because truth be told, maybe you do fear your roommate just a little bit. He is short, but full of angst and rage for this world and you didn’t want to be the victim of that.

“Hello?” Minho asks, making you tremble even more with the reality hitting you.

“M-Minho?” you call into the phone, biting on your nails as you put your phone on speaker so Felix can watch you do the biggest mistake of your short life.

“Yeah?” he asks nonchalantly, making your heart skip a beat.

“I love you.” you deadpan, hearing the other side of the line get silent. It’s not an outcome you predicted, but it’s not the one you would like to hear either. 

After a while, there’s a short snicker coming out of the speaker followed by a teasing question that makes you instantly roll your eyes. “Who doesn’t?”

And you chose this as your object of interest? You huff, instantly getting irritated as all of your nerves leave your body. “I love you, Minho.”

“Did you drink?” he asks, “I mean, I know it’s only like 4pm or something, but with you and Felix living together, you never know…”

“No, I didn’t drink anything. I’m completely sober-” you prompt to say, getting cut off by your best friend again, his voice coming out in a rushed statement.

“Okay, I have a class in like 5 minutes and I haven’t gone out of my apartment yet, so please don’t get wasted and I’ll see you soon, bye!” and with that, he gives you no time to answer as he ends the call, leaving you sitting shocked in your living room with a silent phone in your hand and a moment to take in.

“So... I guess it went good?” you mumble, raising your eyebrows at your roommate that just shakes his head at you.

“You’re gonna try tomorrow again. I’m not letting you go before he takes your confession seriously.” 

“Felix-”

“No excuses.” he glares.

You had to clean out the dishwasher that afternoon anyway.

TUESDAY

You decide to follow your promise you gave to Felix, because in your words, mamma ain’t raise no bitch, and you also, admittedly, can’t stop thinking about the words you said to him ever since you got them out of your mouth. There was a sense of relief overflowing your body after your confession that tells you that maybe, this wasn’t such a bad idea as you first thought it was. 

You confess to your best friend on the second day of the week again. It’s tuesday and you two meet in a coffee shop, talking about how your week was. You two were quite busy with school and classes, so it was hard for you two to talk, but you quickly caught up and your conversations were still as comfortable as ever, as if nothing happened and you didn’t just spill out your heart to him the day before.

You think that maybe, he even forgot. Who knows? Lee Minho was quite the individual.

Once the barista calls for his name and he comes to take his order, you watch him with a look you only imagine can resonate the textbook version of heart eyes. It’s hard for you to look anywhere else-- you have eyes only for him. It’s quite silly, you think. You managed to fall for him even though all he’s ever done was tease you and laugh at you.

Well… that’s not all. And you know that. To a stranger, it might seem like your relationship is strictly like two siblings. You two tease each other more than you actually have serious talks, but that doesn’t mean Minho isn’t a good listener that always offers you the most honest advice. His humour is also the only thing that could get you through your hard days sometimes and for that, you’re forever thankful.

So once you step outside of the coffee shop and walk side by side on the sidewalk, you decide to go for it again. Because what could go wrong, right?

“Minho, I love you.” you say, voice much more steadier than yesterday, watching him react.

But exactly in the moment you do so, the cup of coffee in his hands slips out of his grasp and falls to the ground, making him wince and scowl, because truth be told, his only love is and always has been the americano now spilled all over the concrete.

“A terrible decision, really.” he mutters, taking the empty cup from the ground and throwing it out to the bin, sighing to himself.

You offer to share your coffee with him. He teases you for drinking latte.

WEDNESDAY

Wednesdays are the hardest for your best friend. You know this, because you know him too well. You know his schedule by heart and you also know when he’s having a hard time-- you are his best friend, after all. You can see it on him even in the slightest change in his eyes.

You visit him at his apartment on Wednesday with some takeout in your hand, knowing he doesn’t have the time and energy to cook on this particular day. 

His classes start in the early morning and they end in the late afternoon-- leaving him exhausted, only to be going to his dance classes in the evening. They always tire him out even more. It breaks your heart to see him getting home with dark circles under his eyes and fair skin, but you can’t really do anything about it-- it’s his schedule, after all. All you can do for him is be there with takeout in your hand, waiting on his bright yellow sofa (you were strongly against this color, but he just didn’t care about your opinion. Or he bought it just for the exact same reason, who knows) until he comes home, ready to hear him complain about his day.

And he does exactly that-- he comes home a few minutes after you sneaked into his apartment with the spare key he nonchalantly gave you once when you hung out, falling down face-first onto the sofa with an exaggerated sigh, screaming into the cushions.

“Hard day?” you ask, voice soft and considerate.

He answers you with a hum before he sits up again, coming closer to where you’re sitting on the sofa, taking the takeout from the bag sitting at the coffee table and sitting on the floor in front of you, right between your legs. You don’t know why he does that, but it’s become a tradition at this point-- he sits at the floor, even though he has plenty of space on the sofa to sit on, and you sit right behind him, legs on either side of his body, nudging him with your heels when you feel like teasing him.

“Thanks for coming,” he mumbles, getting the chopsticks and munching on his food, chewing out loud-- a sign that it tastes good and you made a good choice on picking his dinner today.

“It’s not a big deal, I always come over anyways,” you answer, smiling down at him.

He only nods at you, but you see his composure shift in the way he aimlessly stares at the wall-- he doesn’t feel good. It’s not only the exhaustion today. There must be something else going on. 

“Are you okay?” you ask, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah,” he nods, continuing to eat, “it’s just… I feel so useless today.” he shrugs, snickering to himself.

“Why?” you simply state.

“We’re learning this new choreography and I just can’t get it right…” he mumbles, not once meeting your eye as he explains what’s on his mind. Minho doesn’t say a lot, but somehow, you always entirely know how he feels.

You sigh, shifting a little in your seat so you’re closer to the boy sitting on the floor, tenderly bringing your fingers into his hair. You brush it away from his forehead, playing with it, as you quietly speak up, wanting to heal your best friend’s heavy heart.

“It’s just a bad day, Minho. It will be okay, I promise. You just have to rest, okay?” you mumble, continuing to play with his hair. “You’ll get the dancing right in no time. So don’t worry about that, yeah?”

“Hmm,” he hums in a mix of pleasure and acknowledgement, closing his eyes momentarily before he puts the empty box of takeout on the coffee table and leans back into your touch, “fine. Wanna sleep over and watch a movie?” 

You shake your head in disbelief at how quickly his mood changes, giggling. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he nods, but doesn’t move from your touch. You watch him from up close, tracing the sculpted features of his face, admiring his beauty, when you decide to say the three words again, nonchalantly and randomly, as always.

“I love you, Minho.”

“Thanks.”

THURSDAY

You wake up to the sunlight aggressively shining into your eyes, scowling a little and cursing at Lee Minho under your breath, because he is the only person you know that doesn’t close their blinds before going to sleep. You thank the gods for not having a morning class today, trying to force yourself to go back to sleep, when you hear loud cursing from the kitchen, prompting you to hurriedly stand up and rush to the room, watching a disaster happen right in front of your eyes.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-” you hear, seeing something set to flames on the stove-- you think it’s eggs, by the carton placed on the kitchen counter, but you really can’t recognise the object when it’s coal black and burning.

“What’s going on?” you nervously ask, watching the scene unfold.

“A fire.” your best friend says, making you laugh.

You just shake your head at him, taking a seat at his kitchen table, not even rushing to help. Watching him struggle is much more fun anyway, and you know he’ll figure it out eventually-- he’s an engineering student. He’s smart.

“Are you not going to help?” he glares at you, putting the pan under the sink, flashing water on the hot surface. 

“Not really, no,” you shake your head in innocence, seeing how the hot oil reacts with water in a small explosion, almost burning your best friend’s fingers off as he quickly lets go of the object and curses loudly again, taking a step back.

“How did this all even happen?” you ask, watching him sigh and take out another pan, cracking an egg on top of it and letting it cook.

“I was looking for Dori and forgot I had eggs on the stove…” he scratches the back of his head, laughing a little at himself.

“Right. Yeah. Why didn’t I think of that? I’m such an idiot,” you propose, laughing with him. It’s such a Minho thing to do, you don’t even feel surprised anymore.

Minho then finishes cooking the eggs, serving them to you on a small, white plate, acting like a chef as he takes a seat on the chair opposite of yours, eating his own creation as well.

“Is it good?” he asks, watching you fierclessly nod at him with big eyes and full mouth.

“It’s amazing. I was starving, really, so these eggs really hit different right now,” you mumble out, “Thanks Minho, I love you.”

It slips out casually now. It’s been four days and your best friend doesn’t seem to notice the change in your behaviour, but you don’t really even care at this point. Maybe it’s easier for you this way, after all.

Minho just hysterically laughs at you like a maniac this time, not even finding words to say back as he finishes the breakfast he made with so much struggle, and maybe even the tiniest bit of care. 

FRIDAY

The cars behind the window blur into themselves as you drive down the street, sitting on the passenger seat of your best friend’s car. You smile fondly at him when he shortly glances at you from his place, driving with ease down the neighbourhood you live in, the raindrops angrily falling at the surface of the car making it hard for the two of you to even listen to music on your drive home.

“Thanks for driving me home, you’re a lifesaver,” you say when you’re near your apartment complex.

“Well, I have to take care of you since you’re too stupid to get driver’s licence,” he shrugs, grining.

“I’m not stupid!”

“You failed the test twice!”

“I was stressed!” you argue, laughing at him. 

He shakes his head at you, parking in front of your building, waiting for you to get out with your things and run into your apartment. You don’t forget your ritual, though, looking him in the eye before you leave, muttering the cursed eight letters again before saying goodbye.

“I love you.”

“Why?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed. There’s a hint of amusement hitting his features, but confusion is a feeling overpowering on his face when he speaks to you.

“What do you mean, why?” you shake your head.

“Why do you keep saying that?” 

“Because it’s true?” you answer, sounding more like a question, though, watching his expression change into even more confused one.

“But like… why?”

“That’s a stupid question.” you scoff. You feel your palms sweating, trying to nonchalantly wipe them on your pants, the stress finally falling on your shoulders when you’re being questioned.

“It’s not. Answer me.” he insists, pouting at you like a little child in the store when their parents don't want to buy them something.

“Because you’re my best friend? I don’t know,” you sigh, hurriedly taking your backpack from the floor, opening the door wide to escape the conversation, “bye!”

You run into your apartment, breathing heavily as you take off your shoes and reach the living room, seeing your roommate laying sprawled out on the sofa in his usual manner. This is a situation for a short australian man to cope with, if you’ve ever seen one.

“Felix, I think I fucked up.”

SATURDAY

After a long, long conversation with Felix about your feelings and how you think you ruined it all, you think your mood couldn’t be worse. You feel like you either completely missed your chance by telling Minho you love him only because he’s your best friend, or you messed it all up and made your friendship awkward by saying so and he finally caught on to what your words really mean.

You walk around the apartment like a stressed-out shell without a soul, chewing on your bottom lip at all times, when you hear the bell on your door ring, throwing you out of your thoughts as you run to see who’s there bugging you in the late hours of the evening.

“What are you doing here so late?” you ask Minho, caught off-guard.

“I was bored,” he shrugs, looking down to his feet. You want the ground to swallow you whole. It’s suddenly hard to stand there in front of him-- it only deepens how embarrassed and frustrated you feel.

“Do you wanna go out for a walk?” he asks, raising his eyebrows up at you in question.

“Sure,” you shrug, following him outside.

You walk by his side, feeling your hands slightly brush against each other from time to time, making you shudder with the unexpected contact. You’ve never felt more nervous than now-- and you took your driving test twice, so that really tells you something.

“Why are you so quiet? Did something happen?” he asks, slightly nudging you with his elbow.

“What? No,” you shake your head, “everything’s fine.” you smile.

“Are you sure? I know I can be a dick sometimes, but you know I’m always here for you,” he says, gazing into your face with such fondness it actually comforts you.

“Yeah, I know,” you nod, “thanks.” you sigh. 

A few more steps later, though, the sentence slips out of your mouth again, and you don’t even try to fight it as you let it go. It feels natural to say it now. You’re getting used to it, yet, the feeling he makes you feel always somehow shifts-- but still stays the same as well.

“I love you.”

A nervous laugh is all he gives you, hugging you to his side with his arm, keeping you close to shield you from the cold.

SUNDAY

And when the clock passes midnight and Minho’s still sitting in your room, you feel like somehow, you two have never been closer. You managed to confess to him every day for the past week and he’s still by your side. It’s a change to your relationship, but you don’t feel like it’s causing you trouble anymore.

You sit in silence, just enjoying each other’s presence. You don’t have a clue why he didn’t want to leave yet, but you don’t mind him staying. He brings your soul another kind of comfort-- like the morning by the sea, just listening to the waves hitting the shore, the distant chirping of birds lulling you back to sleep.

His hands rest on your calves, your legs thrown over his lap as he sits up on your bed, his back pressed against the wall. You lay there, watching him in the moonlight. You had to turn the lights off, because Felix’s room is right opposite yours and the landlord didn’t let you change the door, meaning you both had an old, white door with a big glass window in the middle of it, letting the lights shine right to the other’s room at night. 

He tickles you in the spark of the moment, making you laugh quietly. You don’t want to wake Felix up, or else he’ll get mad at you, and once again, you don’t play with a short australian boy, or you’ll get burned-- you know that by now.

“Stop it!” you whisper-shout at him, sitting up and moving away from him.

He chases you on the bed, though, his fingers laying everywhere on your body, lightly tickling the skin of your stomach when his hands slip under your pyjama shirt. You push them away, squeeking with the coldness of his fingertips, tears threatening to fall from your eyes at the force of your laugh. 

He stops, falling down to the bed next to you, heavy breathing being the only thing heard in the quiet room. His hand slowly makes its way to your thigh, resting there delicately. You curse at the butterflies rising in your stomach-- you want to shout at them to go away, but hell, is it a good feeling. It’s like you’re torturing yourself, but it’s a sweet torture. You wouldn’t change it in the slightest.

And so then and there, after confessing to him for six days straight, you decide to try again, with as much sincerity as you can, because suddenly, there’s something inside of you telling you that this time, it might actually work.

“I love you.”

And perhaps, you’re not wrong, because with the shuffling of the sheets, he turns his body to yours, facing you. He stares into your eyes, smiling softly at your face, the action looking angelic sitting on his features. 

“I love you too,” he confesses in the dark. 

[1-800-hyunlix]

dance to this — hhj

crush culture ♡ part thirty five

⇢ pairing: non-idol! hyunjin x fem! reader

⇢ word count: 4.4k

⇢ warnings: cussing, some underaged drinking, it’s literally a high school party so, can y/n and hyunjin get their shit together already?

⇢ listen while you read: dance to this - troye sivan

⇢ a/n: happy (kinda late) valentine’s day! i haven’t updated in forever but i’ve spent so much time trying to finish writing the remaining chapters for this series. i hate to say it but this story’s coming to an end and FAST. also i’m so sorry, i meant to post this yesterday but here we are 🙄 anyways, enjoy <3

Thanks to you, the snack table looked great and Jisung was very pleased, to say the least.

Everyone had already shown up to the party. Changbin and Minho stood in the corner talking with Minghao and his friend Seokmin. Yuna, Jeongin, Seungmin and Felix had gone outside after complaining about how hot and crowded the house was. And Jisung. Well Jisung was hungry.

“Hey,” you said over the noise. “Jisung.”

He hummed and looked up, grabbing another chip from the bowl.

“When’s Hyunjin gonna get here?” The party had only started an hour ago but even though almost all of your friends had arrived, he still hadn’t shown. Part of you was wishing it would stay that way. You had been trying your best to avoid him ever since you found out about cupid’s kiss. It would be much easier to do that if he just decided to not come at all.

“Hyunjin offered to pick up Chan and Chaeyeon after their dates,” He answered, plucking his phone from out of his back pocket. “They should be getting here soon.”

well shit.

“Y/n!” A voice yelled from behind you. Spinning on your heels, you were met with Mingyu walking towards you holding a cup in his hand. “Having fun?”

“You could say that.” you shrugged. Parties never really excited you. They always seemed so repetitive. People making out in bedrooms, kids too young to be drinking getting wasted anyway, and lots of unnecessary socializing. But you’d always go anyway. It’d take a couple drinks, but eventually you’d start having fun.

“I thought your boyfriend was coming.”

Your eyes widened and you spun around to make sure Jisung hadn’t heard Mingyu’s bold comment and sighed in relief when you realized he wasn’t standing behind you anymore. Instead he was clinging onto Minho’s side as they grabbed drinks from the kitchen.

“He’s not my boyfriend and I thought we agreed to stop talking about it.”

“He’s not your boyfriend yet.” he smirked, leaning against the table and taking a sip of whatever was in his red solo cup.

“I just told him about Cupid’s Kiss,” you lied again. “not that I liked him.”

Mingyu sighed but nodded his head nonetheless. “Which is a step in the right direction!”

Rolling your eyes, you began walking away from Mingyu and towards the kitchen. “Happy Valentine’s Day by the way!” He yelled from behind you. You shook your head and continued to maneuver through people, muttering small “excuse me’s'' as you passed.

Crowds were another thing you hated about parties. Squeezing through the groups of kids who were either too drunk or obnoxious to move out of the way.

The kitchen counter was covered with a variety of drinks, some of which you weren’t even sure how Mingyu acquired. You grabbed a cup and filled it halfway with the punch you watched Mingyu and Minghao mix earlier. Instantly bringing the cup up to your lips, you winced when the liquid hit the back of your throat.

It wasn’t your favorite taste but if you were planning on having at least some fun at the party, you’d need all the drinks you could get.

Now you stood outside with Ryujin, Seungmin, Jeongin and Yuna listening while they talked about the Valentine’s dance and how mad they were gonna be if it was “as bad as last year’s dance.” You wouldn't know, you didn’t go.

“Look who’s finally here.” Ryujin nudged your shoulder and pointed towards the back door of the house.

Hyunjin and Chan walked out, greeting people as they made their way over towards your group. They were so casual about all the attention they received from everyone else, like they were used to having all the kids at school drool over them.

It’s not like you haven’t noticed it before. Especially when it came to Hyunjin. The minute he moved to your school, he became everyone’s new obsession. It just hadn’t bothered you until now, rolling your eyes as a group of girls standing next to you had completely forgotten about their conversation and instead, were far more interested in staring at Hyunjin.

You found yourself staring at him too. You’d be lying if you said he didn’t instantly catch your eye the moment he walked through the door. He looked good all the time and Valentine’s night was no exception.

“Finally you guys decide to show up!” Jeongin groaned, sarcastically throwing his head back. Chan laughed and patted him on his back.

“Sorry,” he said, “Hyunjin picked us up right after his date. It took longer than expected.”

Hyunjin nodded in agreement and glanced over to you, shooting you a sweet smile. You returned it and quickly averted your eyes.

“Date” you laughed in your head. They lied right in front of your face and had absolutely no idea that you knew.

“Speaking of Hyunjin’s date,” Seungmin spoke, “where’s Yuri? She didn’t wanna come?”

You watched intently as Hyunjin and Chan looked at each other as if they were trying to come up with something to say. You have no idea how you didn’t catch onto their lies sooner. They were being so obvious.

“Yeah, she doesn’t like parties.” Hyunjin answered.

Taking a drink from your cup, you sighed. The rest of the group was engaged in an interesting conversation about who they believed would get drunk first. Chan bet on Felix but the freckled boy protested and said it was definitely going to be Jisung. You hadn’t said anything but giggled as Jisung and Felix playfully bickered back and forth.

Upon hearing your laugh, Hyunjin glanced back at you. His eyes traveled down your body, not so subtly checking you out. He’d never seen you “dressed up” like this before other than the time you tried on that dress at the mall. You looked different but a good different. He noted how you styled your hair differently than you usually would and how the shoes you were wearing made you almost as tall as him.

Feeling eyes on you, you turned towards Hyunjin and caught him red handed. He nervously shifted on his feet and smiled at you. “I like the outfit,” He started, “You look really pretty tonight.”

As if on cue, you felt heat rise up to your cheeks.

You struggled to say something back, afraid that the minute you opened your mouth, you’d turn into a stuttering mess right in front of him. Hurry up, the little voice inside your head demanded. Speak idiot.

“Oh uhm thanks, you too,” you began, instantly regretting it. “I mean not pretty, you don’t look pretty but you look nice and...shit that came out wrong.”

Amused by the embarrassment you were inflicting on yourself, Hyunjin laughed, his tongue pushing on the inside of his cheek; a habit of his that you picked up on. He liked to do it whenever he was about to tease you or say something totally sarcastic. “Sorry, I don't think I heard over the music. Did you say I look pretty?”

You rolled your eyes, letting out a small chuckle. “You know what I meant, Hwang.”

Jeez y/n, you’re pathetic. What happened to avoiding him?

You wanted to stick to your original plan; have fun and make it through the party all while avoiding Hyunjin in the process. But you could tell it wouldn’t be that easy.

Glancing towards Hyunjin again, you watched as he laughed at a video of Jisung doing something dumb that Felix recorded on his phone. His laugh was so contagious and despite how you hadn’t even seen the video, you giggled too.

This is what you meant when you said he made it hard for you. Every little thing he did, you adored. He was practically living rent free in your head and as much as you wanted him out, he refused to leave.

Deciding that you would just drown your problems with the punch in your cup, you held it to your mouth to drink only to groan when it was empty. “Hey Hyunjin,” you tapped him on the shoulder. “I’m gonna get a refill, you wanna come with?”

Seriously Y/n, you suck at this.

He nodded almost eagerly and followed you into the house.

“I promise you it’s not bad! Just try it!”

You were standing in the corner of the kitchen trying to convince Hyunjin to try the punch that you had been indulging yourself in all night. Seeing as he didn’t know the contents of the drink and you were practically already buzzed, he was unsure if drinking the punch would do him any good.

“Fine but only one cup!” He gave in and you threw your arms up in satisfaction. Almost hesitantly, he took a drink and your eyes lingered to his hands. The way the silver rings on his fingers shone under the light and how they gripped the cup. Then down to his striped shirt he left unbuttoned more than likely on purpose. His beauty was effortless and sometimes you got jealous of how he could simply look so good without trying.

Looking up from his cup, his eyes met yours and you quickly turned away. The corner of his lips lifted up in a smirk as you clearly had no idea that he was aware of your staring the whole time. It’s not like you were discreet about it.

“How many of these have you had?”

You glanced at the cup in your hands and shrugged. “Maybe like four?”

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow and nodded his head. How you were drinking this, he had no idea. It wasn’t at all good to him. “How was your date? With Mingyu?”

You didn’t want to talk about Mingyu, nervous that Hyunjin would ask too many questions and you’d accidentally let something slip.

If you were being completely honest, you only showed up early to the party to make it look like you and Mingyu hung out for Valentine’s Day. You wouldn’t really call filling up chip bowls and watching Minghao and Mingyu argue over where to put the sound system a date.

“Oh it was good!” You answered almost too fast. “Yeah it was fun.”

Hyunjin nodded his head and weakly smiled. You almost winced at the awkward tension that sat in the air and you took another drink, humming in satisfaction. It was definitely doing its job.

The next song began and immediately recognizing it, you gasped and removed the cup from your lips. “This song is so good,” without thinking, you grabbed onto Hyunjin’s wrist. “let’s dance.”

He obliged as you dragged him through the crowd and into the living room where teens jumped around with one another.

Smiling as you made it into the middle of the dance pit, you found the beat and slowly began swaying your body to the rythmn. Hyunjin grinned, raising his eyebrow in amusement.

Still having a grip on his wrist, you intertwined your fingers and yelled over the music. “C’mon Hyunjin,” you smirked. “Dance with me.”

He chuckled and shook his head but seconds later found himself matching your movements.

Nodding as he danced along with you, you closed your eyes in bliss. He watched this with admiration. He had never seen you so care free before. You usually always seemed so shy and nervous when you danced in front of him but tonight you were practically all over him.

You enjoyed it; the way your bodies nearly pushed up against each other due to the lack of space in the room and the way the music blared through your ears, blocking out all other noise within distance.

This isn’t part of the plan, Y/n. Quit dancing and get your shit together! spoke the same voice in your head that you’d been unintentionally ignoring all night long. It was like a little angel on your shoulder telling you to let go of Hyunjin’s hand and walk away before you got yourself into another situation that you couldn’t get out of.

But on the opposite shoulder, sat a little devil who disagreed with the angel and insisted that you stayed on the dance floor. Don’t listen to them! You wanted to do this all night! Get over yourself, y/n!

Quite frankly, you didn’t know who to listen to.

You looked back up to meet his eyes and gulped once you found Hyunjin was already staring at you. He searched your face, looking for any sign that you felt the same way he did. He removed his hand from yours and instead placed it on your waist, bringing you closer to him. Your breath hitched as his hand snaked around to the small of your back, his rings cold on your skin.

Growing nervous, you shifted on your feet and gently placed your free hand on his chest. “I’m sorry,” you muttered and he knitted his brows in confusion. “I need some air.” You gently pushed away from him and began walking, his hand loosely trailing across your back as you left.

Hyunjin turned and watched as you quickly maneuvered through people and to the back door. He sighed and took a swig from his drink before leaving the center of the room to stand against a wall, distancing himself from the dancing crowd.

You confused him and how you felt was still a mystery to him. One minute, you were dancing with him and blushing whenever he complimented you. The next, you were ignoring him and getting nervous whenever he showed the slightest bit of affection. Maybe he’d been reading you all wrong. Maybe you hadn’t felt the same way about him and he’d been getting his hopes up just to be disappointed in the end.

He had stood by the wall for a while by himself, taking drinks from his cup every so often. He was too deep in thought to even notice Mingyu approaching.

“Hyunjin!”

Turning his head to the left, he frowned. Him and Mingyu had never really had a serious conversation before. Most of their “talking” was just done in class when they’d give each other the answers. “Hey Mingyu.”

“I’m glad you could make it.” Mingyu smiled, standing beside him with his arms crossed.

Hyunjin smiled back, unsure of how to respond. “Yeah, thanks for inviting us.”

“I saw you and Y/n out there,” Mingyu started, taking a drink from his cup. Hyunjin nervously eyed him. When he was dancing with you, he had totally forgotten about Mingyu and how he might’ve reacted when he saw his date all over someone else. “I’m glad everything got fixed.”

Hyunjin thought for a moment before realizing he had no idea what Mingyu was talking about. “Sorry,” he said. “What?”

“Y’know, everything. Cupid’s Kiss and all.” Mingyu laughed. Confusion was evident on Hyunjin’s face and it quickly became clear to Mingyu what was going on. “Y/n didn’t tell you, did she?”

“No?” Hyunjin said, more like a question rather than an answer.

Mingyu sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course you hadn’t told him. It was you he was talking about, someone who avoided confrontation at all costs. “There was a mix up with the Cupid’s Kiss results. Y/n and I weren’t supposed to get each other after all.”

Hyunjin nodded slowly, looking down at the floor as he listened.

“I was supposed to be with Haseul,” Mingyu swallowed before hesitantly continuing. “Y/n was supposed to be with you.”

Hyunjin’s head whipped up, his eyes widening in shock. He observed Mingyu, trying to figure out whether or not this was just some drunk joke he decided to play just to spite him. But no, Mingyu looked dead serious. “Y/n knew?”

“Yep,” Mingyu hummed, “I found out about it a couple days ago and texted her right away. She said she’d tell you but clearly…” he trailed off and narrowed his eyes at Hyunjin.

A million things were running through Hyunjin’s head but all he wanted to do was find you. “I gotta look for Y/n. Thanks for telling me, Mingyu.”

Mingyu gave him a sympathetic smile and muttered a “No problem” before Hyunjin took off towards the backyard.

It was messed up. This whole time he felt horrible because he had gotten you for Cupid’s Kiss while you had gotten Mingyu when in reality, you were supposed to get each other. It wasn’t fair. He could’ve had you from the beginning.

Why you hadn’t told him about it as soon as you found out also shocked him. What were you gaining from keeping it hidden?

Hyunjin reached the back door and looked around the crowded yard, finally spotting you. You stood off to the side, talking with Chan and Chaeyeon.

As he walked over, he could hear you laughing at something Chan joked about.

“Hyunjin!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms over his shoulder. “Sorry I walked off. It was sooo hot in there.”

yeah, sure it was.

He eyed Chan who gave him a knowing look back. Your slurred words and sudden attitude change were enough evidence to tell him that you were drunk, somehow more than the last time he saw you.

He had originally wanted to walk over and talk to you about Cupid’s Kiss but seeing your state, he knew it wasn’t the time. He’d have to wait.

You chugged the final drops of your drink and closed your eyes, resting your head on Hyunjin’s arm. He shifted, placing his arm around your waist to help keep you upright.

“I’m tired.” you murmured, leaning closer into him.

“You wanna go home?” Hyunjin asked, speaking softly so only you could hear.

“Mhm.”

He nodded and turned back to Chan. “I’m gonna drive her home but if you want I can come back to pick you guys up after.” He didn’t wanna feel like a shitty friend for driving them there and then ditching them.

Chan shook his head and dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “Don’t worry about it, Hyunjin. Changbin can give us a ride.”

Hyunjin smiled and said goodbye before Chae and Chan walked off. Then he focused his attention back on you. You stood up straight and rubbed your eyes in discomfort. He grabbed onto your hand and began guiding you inside the house, surprised that you were even able to keep yourself balanced.

“Where are we going?”

“I’m driving you home.” Finally making it outside of the house and to the front yard, he held onto you tightly as he led you to his car that was parked a short distance from the house.

“Oh no, I can’t go home,” you responded. “My parents will be so mad at me for this.”

He hadn’t even thought about that. Surely, your parents wouldn’t be very happy about you coming home late and completely trashed. But where else were you supposed to go when all of your other friends were still at the party.

“You could stay at my place,” he suggested, his voice sounding a lot more quiet than usual. “if you want.”

You may have been drunk but you weren’t dumb and was still well aware of what he was asking you. Your stomach turned at the thought of spending the night with Hyunjin and Hyunjin only. You didn’t really have any other options so it seemed you’d have to get over your emotions for one night.

“Yes please.”

The drive to Hyunjin’s place wasn’t long. Surprisingly, you managed to stay awake for the ride. You had both sat in silence the whole time, except for when Hyunjin had reminded you to text your parents and tell them you were staying at Ryujin’s for the night. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence but more so because you were too caught up in your own thoughts to engage in conversation.

At one point, you had rolled your window down and stuck your head out slightly, taking in the cold air of the night. You closed your eyes when the wind hit your skin and grinned. Hyunjin watched you in admiration.

It was relaxing and almost felt like the wind was blowing all the guilt and nervousness right out of you.

When you got to his house, he had gotten out of the car and rushed over to the passenger side to help you out. You waved him off, insisting that you could walk yourself. Hyunjin shook his head as you began walking to the door, giggling at how you stumbled over your own feet.

Inside, he’d given you some clothes of his to change into, seeing that you probably wouldn’t be too comfortable sleeping in fishnets and a jean jacket. You didn’t even get the chance to protest with him as he shoved you into his bathroom and closed the door behind you.

After throwing his hoodie on, you glanced in the mirror and frowned at the sight of your disheveled hair and semi-smeared makeup. This is what Hyunjin had to look at? Embarrassing. You splashed your face with water and hurried out of the bathroom.

In his room, Hyunjin was making a makeshift bed on the floor with blankets and pillows that he retrieved from another room. Looking up at you, he swallowed. Seeing you wear his clothes brought out a sense of satisfaction in him, like you fit perfectly in them.

“You can take the bed,” he said. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

You frowned. “It’s your room, Hyunjin. I’m totally fine with sleeping on the floor.” If you were being honest, you’d be fine sleeping anywhere. You just wanted to sleep.

“Exactly. It’s my room so I have a say in where you get to sleep,” he smiled, ruffling his hair. “and I say you get to sleep on the bed.”

Rolling your eyes, you trudged over to the bed and snuck under the covers. Once you got comfortable, you patted the spot next to you. “I’m not just gonna let you sleep on the floor,” you hummed, your words still coming out messy. “Lay with me.”

Apparently for you, a side effect of drinking was a sudden boost of confidence because sober Y/n would’ve never mustered up enough courage to ask Hyunjin to sleep with her. Sure, you’ve slept together before but it was accidental and at a sleepover with a bunch of your friends. It didn’t count.

“You sure?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck. “Because i’m totally fine with sleeping on the floor. I’ve done it before and like you wouldn't believe how comfortable carpet is when you’re tired.”

Hyunjin’s rambling made you giggle and you sighed, throwing your head back onto the pillow to stare at the ceiling. “Wow. Driving me home, letting me wear your clothes, willing to give up your bed for me,” you spoke quietly, almost to yourself rather than to him. “At this point Hyunjin, it just seems like you’re obsessed with me.”

He let out a breathy laugh and shook his head. He hesitated but much to your surprise, slipped under the covers next to you. Once he got comfortable, he placed his hands under his head and turned to look at you. “I think ‘obsessed’ would be reaching.”

Your heart jumped at the close proximity of you two and you took a deep breath. Silence came once again and maybe it was just you but you could feel the tension in the air. It sat on top of the two of you like a weighted blanket and you didn’t know how to lift it.

You closed your eyes in an attempt to shake away any thoughts and feelings that found their way into your head. Why did he have to be like this?

“What’re you thinking about?” Hyunjin’s voice came out quiet, almost like a whisper.

“You.”

You weren’t sure what came over you. Maybe it was the fact that you were on the verge of sleep or maybe it was the alcohol still very much in your system. Maybe it was both.

Hyunjin’s eyes averted to you. “Me?”

“Yeah, you.”

Whatever it was, you weren’t completely aware of what you were saying and you knew you were probably going to regret it in the morning. That was, if you could remember saying it.

“Hyunjin,” you yawned before speaking again, “Can I tell you something?”

He looked at you and noticed you still stared at the ceiling, your eyes beginning to get heavy due to sleepiness. You could pass out at any moment whereas Hyunjin wasn’t even tired. “Sure.”

“I think you’re perfect.”

Yeah, you were definitely going to regret saying this in the morning.

“Almost too perfect.” you continued as Hyunjin nervously bit his lip.

He moved his arms to rest on his stomach as he fiddled with his thumbs.

“Too perfect for me.” You said in a hushed tone, worried that if you spoke too loud, he’d be able to hear your heartbeat through your voice. “And that makes this whole thing so much harder.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wish I could deserve you as badly as I want you, Hyunjin.”

He didn’t know what to say or even what to do. You shocked him and as he stared up at the ceiling, he felt stuck in place. The room went quiet again.

He hadn’t prepared himself to hear a drunk confession from you, especially when you sat right next to him in his own bed. It was so sudden and based on the way you practically avoided him all night, it was very random.

I wish I could deserve you as badly as I want you. Your words were on replay in his head and he thought about what Mingyu had told him at the party. It was supposed to be you and him all along. Maybe now would be a good time to mention that.

Hyunjin turned towards you to speak but stopped at the sight of you already sleeping. Your head was close to his on the pillow and you had pulled the blanket all the way up to your neck.

He observed your face. Your lips were pouted and your cheeks slightly puffy. You looked so comfortable. This was the most relaxed he’d seen you all night, free from worry and stress and secrets.

Hyunjin sighed. He’d just have to talk to you about it tomorrow.

He reached over to the table beside his bed and turned his lamp off although he was sure he wouldn’t be able to sleep at all that night.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/n.”

.˚ ✉️ TAGLIST ♡ ⃗

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[thirstystarkey]

Does your pretty face see what he's worth? 🌊 JJ MAYBANK

Requested by: @chinamolina602

Prompt: When JJ left Outer Banks he never in a million years thought about falling in love again, too traumatized from the previous toxic relationships, that was when he met Y/N a fearless girl who ran away to chase her surfer dreams who made JJ gave love a second change, the blond boy’s life took a 360° turn and from a pogue he turned into a surf legend. Returning to Outer Banks for a surf competition he comes across his ex girlfriend, a kook girl who thought he wasn’t enough for her but this time Y/N will teach this girl a lesson while her rockstar boyfriend rides the biggest waves.

THE first time Y/N saw JJ he came through her surf school with two heavy bags and a surfboard along with the paper she previously put out hiring for a surf teacher. She was working on some shell necklaces while some reggie tunes played in the background along with the waves and the chatting from the beaches.

“Is the offer still up?” JJ questioned the girl dropping his bags into the ground. He left everything behind in Outer Banks, taking only the necessary with him and enough money to survive. “I need this job.”

“Well, the offer is pretty much still up.” Y/N placed the shell down while she got up from the high chair she was sitting down during the past half hour. “Let’s see what you got then.” The tanned girl challenged him grabbing her own surfboard.

“N-now?” He asked, taken aback from her sudden proposal.

“Didn’t you said you needed the job?” Y/N grinned. “Show me what you got.”

“Bet.” He followed her to the sand. “Where’s your boss at?” Silly boy she thought.

“You’re looking at her.” She laughed taking off her shorts, getting ready to surf.

“I’m sorry.” He said quickly feeling embarrassed.

“I hear that a lot, you didn’t offend my ego.” Y/N winked at him. “Enough talk, time to catch waves.” She ran towards the water and he followed.

After the test both of them came out of the water out of breath. Y/N was mesmerized by how gracefully he moved in the water, so effortlessly. She had to hire him, she knew he could go far from that moment. Y/N saw the potential in him.

“Y/N!” She introduced herself properly, stretching her hand towards the confused boy.

“JJ.” He answered shaking her hand, confused by her smile.

“You got the job.” She said happy and JJ smiled relief.

“Thank you so so much Y/N, I won’t let you down!” He promised.

“Well I hope you won’t.” She said walking with him towards the school. “Here, tomorrow, at 6am.” She told him.

“That’s early.” He said not to happy with the chosen hour.

“You prefer 5am?” She joked.

“No, 6am it’s fine.” He laughed briefly scratching his head.

There he was the next day at 6am on the dot. Y/N was at least surprised when she arrived still a bit sleepy with her other two coworkers, Andy and Bodhi.

“Andy, Bodhi meet JJ.” Y/N introduced the boys. “He will be working with us from now on.” She patted them on the back.

“Hey man!” Bodhi said, oddly happy for that time in the morning. “Let’s catch some waves dude.”

“He’s a little cuckoo.” Y/N giggled watching the boys interact.

At the end of the first lesson JJ was dead. He never thought teaching little kid how to surf could be so tiring, he felt exhausted and the heat of Hawaii leaving him breathless yet he felt this strange overwhelming feeling of freedom. JJ felt like he was born again.

“You can go freshen up if you need, I’ll be here.” Y/N said when they got to the building and he did.

The surf school was a honest small business Y/N got when she came to Hawaii, her upbringing was hard and full of ups and downs. Growing up in a toxic home environment made it hard for her to succeed, she felt depressed all the time so one day in a act of bravery after her mom passed away she packed her bags and left never looking back. This was her home now. Her sanctuary, the place where she found inner peace and true happiness.

Y/N made two smoothie bowls, one for her and one for JJ as she waited for him to come back. She always cared for everyone and due to the extremely hot day she felt that a fresh snack could revive JJ for the next class.

“We don’t get one?” Andy frowned.

“You didn’t teach you don’t get a bowl, cry baby.” Y/N mocked him.

Once JJ returned he sat in front of Y/N still a bit awkward with the new group.

“Here, I made you one.” Y/N handed him one of the bowls.

“Why?” JJ asked confused.

“Because you’ve been in the sun for a long time, you need to eat.” Y/N explained almost mocking him.

“Thank you..” He said slowly taking the bowl into his hands. JJ immediately hummed when he tasted the fruity taste in his mouth which made everyone giggle. “This is good.” He complemented with a mouthful.

“Y/N makes the best smoothie bowls I swear!” Bodhi told, secretly jealous he didn’t get one.

JUST LIKE THAT days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and months turned into years. JJ and Y/N only grew closer to each other, falling deeply for each other. Y/N made JJ feel things he never felt before, he became peaceful. Made new friends. He started over rebranding his name.

At first JJ wasn’t very fond of Y/N’s bubbly personality, her extreme happiness left him wondering the reasons behind it but eventually with time he grew more and more attached to it and realized that it was exactly what he’s been missing for years on end, he craved someone with a soul like hers. To JJ, Y/N was what the poets write about in pretty poems. She was his embodiment of the color yellow, she felt like the sun and the ocean at the same time. Her aura was beautifully mesmerizing.

With all started when one night after Y/N and JJ were left alone to close the school. She invited him to go grab some food before they both head to there separate ways. They ended up talking hours on end, over everything and anything, they kept drinking cheap beer and chatting until the owner of the restaurant told them he was about to close and they really needed to leave.

Next came lunches together, walks down the beach together, listening to music in the car at some random parking lot. The most important one, surfing together.

The night JJ told Y/N about his past she cried, unable to keep herself together. He talked with so much passion of his friends, they were his family she learned, so for something forcing him to leave everything behind it had to be painful.

“Do you miss them?” Y/N asked looking at the moon, they were talking in her balcony.

“I do sometimes, but I know they are waiting for me.” He says. “But I needed to leave that shit town, I had the urge to start over after the situation with the gold.” He explained.

“I get that, the urge to run away.” Y/N said, looking at him him while she rested her head in her shoulder.

“You do?” JJ asked curiously.

“I ran away from home two years ago.” She bursted out her secret. It felt good to finally tell someone. “When my mom died I packed my bags and left at the first opportunity I got, my dad was a monster I couldn’t stay with him.” Y/N explained.

“I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserved going through that stuff.” JJ said grabbing her hand. “Everything will work out now.” He cheered her, rubbing her hand.

The first time they kissed still felt like yesterday, it happened at a beach party where everyone had to wear white. It was a tradition. They weren’t drunk but JJ swore on his life that Y/N looked like a true angel dressed in that beautiful white dress with her hair down and soft makeup, he never saw her like that. When he kissed her, Y/N felt like the night turned into day again extremely lost in his arms to think coherently. Fast forward to a few weeks later, the first night they slept together happen on her birthday. JJ, Andy and Bodhi planned a surprise birthday party for her at the surf school, everyone came which left her surprised. She never had one of those parties.

The school only grew more popular among the population and throughout the years JJ became a surf icon around the continent. Y/N was always there, winning some medals as well and supporting her boyfriend along the way. They walked the road together, they slept in vans together when they couldn’t afford hotel rooms and Y/N never once complained about it. She loved the experience, it made her feel alive.

One night, they stopped to get some rest and JJ remembered how the first girl he thought he loved was never by his side, instead she was always mad at him for the things he loved. Of course that been a pogue dating a kook was hard but with Y/N everything came so easily, it made him wonder.

“You know, I once dated a girl that was nothing like you.” He said out of nowhere carressing her hair. Y/N looked at him for more. “I don’t mean it in a bad way, she was always so stuck up her nose and she always ramble about me and my friends and how she hated that i surfed.” He laughed. “I’m so grateful that I found you and I got this opportunity to win this championship.” He kissed her hairline.

“I’m grateful I can be by your side.” She said. “Since the first time you walked in that school I knew you could go a long way.” Y/N confessed. “I believed in you.” She added sleepy.

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me Y/N, I’m so excited about you meeting my friends.” He said happy.

“The pogues huh, I will love them.” She laughed in his arms.

LIFE AT OUTER BANKS didn’t change that much, Kiara now owned The Wreck and shared a house with Pope who was her boyfriend, Pope, a young man who lost a scholarship to help his best friends still found a job he enjoyed at the hospital. John B and Sarah never came back even though they still updated their friends from time to time.

The last spot of the competition JJ and Y/N where on took place at Outer Banks, everyone knew his name since he left and became a surf legend. The beach was full, everyone came to see JJ surf along with the other famous surfers. And his ex girlfriend also came, surprising Y/N and JJ with a baby in her arms and a tired look on her pretty hollow face.

She approach Y/N unaware of her relationship with JJ now, Y/N was working backstage with the organization of the event while the girl tapped her shoulder getting her attention.

“Hi, I’m Olivia.” She introduced herself and immediately Y/N recognized that name from JJ’s stories. This was the ex girlfriend. “Where’s JJ?” She asked a bit rudely.

“Hi, Y/N.” She said with a slight smile. “He’s surfing right now, as you can see.” Y/N pointed towards the water where the blond boy receive applauses.

“I really need to talk to him.” Olivia stated annoyed, clearly not understanding what Y/N said previously.

“You need to wait until he finishes.” Y/N warned looking at her boyfriend while he catched good waves.

“I don’t have your time.” Olivia said in a high pitch voice. “I need to talk with him now, who do you think you are? A good little friend? I’m his ex girlfriend that he loved, I’m sure he is dying to see me.” Y/N rolled her eyes at Olivia done with her.

“Sorry, Olivia, but you missed out.” Y/N laughed softly looking at her. “Tough luck, that boy’s mine now.” She winked at Olivia who had a rather mad expression in her face. “You should know that we are more than good friends and that’s how the story ends.” She added calmly.

Olivia opened her mouth but nothing came so Y/N kept on talking, she had so many things to tell her.

“I’m not judging you, it’s just a shame you couldn’t see the man this boy could be.” Y/N said proud of JJ, while she took a few glances at him coming out of the water, already drowning in reporters to get his words. “Olivia if I can teach you something you should know that there’s always more than what meets the eye, while you couldn’t look past JJ’s friends and his passions I saw the soul inside him.” Y/N spoke looking straight at JJ while he stepped on the podium, he got the first place. He won.

“I’m sorry, I have to you.” Olivia said embarrassed. “And don’t worry, this isn’t his child. I hope you two are happy.” She said walking away.

“I hope you find someone and truly love them Olivia, it was nice to meet you.” Y/N said politely, offering her hand for Olivia to shake.

When Y/N was free again she left Andy and Bodhi with the paper work and she ran straight to JJ’s arms. She jumped into his arms and JJ held her right away while Y/N kissed his whole face.

“I’m so proud of you.” She managed to congratulate him through the kisses. “I love you so much JJ Maybank.” Y/N whispered into his lips before she kissed him properly. Getting lost in him and in his free spirit.

Tag list 💞

@thatsonobx @starkeybaby @this-is-bigger-than--us @tomzfrog @alotbnouf @jj-maybank-stan @jellyfishbeansontoast @rafecamerondeservesbetter @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @tembo-ndoto @poguebx @k-k0129 @kieinred @obxmxybxnk @lcil123 @fandom-phaser @sexualparkour @myrandom-fandomlife @lasnaro @sw-eat-ing @kiarascarreras @jjswhore @milamaybank @downbytheouterbanks @write-from-the-heart @justcallmesams @annedub @drizzlethatfalls @tovvaf @drewswannabegirl @whoreforouterbanks @newhopenessie @maybebanks @poguesrforlife @shawnssongs @wastedheartcth @rudyypankow @danicarosaline @sc4rlettm @hufflepeople @punkrainbows @obliviatevamps @trustfundparker @annoylinglyaries @sexytholland @5am-cigarette @majoroof @ilovejjmaybank @jjmeybank

[alexthedrummerboy]

I Need To Forget You

pairing: platonic alex, luke, and reggie (and bobby but only mentioned!)

summary: Before his parents kicked him out, his sister had been trying to teach him how to play the acoustic guitar. Andrea hadn't been quite the musician that Luke is, but she'd tried her best. Alex remembers being 15 and sitting on the edge of her bed, her guitar in his arms as she told him where to place his fingers. He also remembers complaining endlessly about how much the strings hurt his hands.

Another exploration into Alex’s feelings about his family after his death.

(plus self indulgent guitar playing inspired by that video Owen posted on Instagram of him playing the guitar in the dark)

authors note: I JUST REALLY WANT ALEX TO GET A SOFT ACOUSTIC GUITAR SOLO IN SEASON 2

trigger warning: homophobia and bad parenting (mentioned)

ao3

The studio is cold when Alex walks in. He supposes he shouldn't be surprised, it’s barely five in the morning and everyone is asleep.

They technically don't need to sleep but Luke and Reggie like to try anyway. Alex finds he's too wired to even do that; he’s been this way since before he died.

He eyes his drum kit and walks over, gently the tapping on the batter head with the pads of his fingers. He doesn’t really feel like playing right now. The morning feels too quiet for that.

Then, he sees it. A six string in the corner that Alex assumes belonged to Julie’s mom.

He walks over tentatively, keeping his footsteps quiet as he approaches, almost as it he's approaching a wounded animal. When the guitar is finally within reach, Alex reaches out and gently plucks a string, listening to the muted sound of it quietly ring out. He smiles, though it feels bittersweet.

Before his parents kicked him out, his sister had been trying to teach him how to play the acoustic guitar. Andrea hadn't been quite the musician that Luke is, but she'd tried her best. Alex remembers being 15 and sitting on the edge of her bed, her guitar in his arms as she told him where to place his fingers. He also remembers complaining endlessly about how much the strings hurt his hands.

His fingers begin to itch the longer he looks at the guitar and before he even realizes, he’s picking it up and sitting on the couch, balancing the guitar in his lap.

It feels instantly different from his sister’s guitar. It has a rougher feel from the unvarnished wood, and the curves in the body of it fit differently in his lap... but holding it feels like home.

It’s a different kind of home, though.

Alex’s drums are a warm-kind of home. They remind him of long rehearsals and laughing until he couldn’t breathe. They feel like long talks about dreams and hopes with his best friends at midnight, and crying about his parents while Luke, Reggie, and Bobby held him.

But the guitar... feels different. It reminds him of locking himself in his sisters room and playing Green Day way too loud while their parents stomped around downstairs, pretending to live perfect lives.

It feels like fear; the fear he’d felt when he’d told Andrea that he liked boys the way he was supposed to like girls.

He hugs Julie’s moms guitar just the slightest bit tighter when he remembers the way his sister had hugged him so tightly, when he remembers how she’d told him (for the first time in their entire lives) that she loved him.

Alex takes a deep breath as he positions his hand over the strings and presses down.

It stings in the same way that it had the first time Andie had tried to teach him how to play, but he finds that he doesn’t really mind so much anymore. He begins to pluck a gentle melody and winces when one of the strings buzzes under his grip.

“Pushin’ past the limits, trippin’ on hallucinogenics.”

His voice is quiet and the slightest bit gruff from rehearsing all day yesterday, but it feels good to hear it ringing out in the empty studio. He isn’t sure when his eyes slip shut, but all he can see behind his eyelids are flashes of his parents disappointed faces, of Andie’s teary eyes.

The rhythm of Alex’s strumming picks up and morphs into something more aggressive the longer he sings.

“Rippin’ with my sinners ‘cause fuck it, man, I ain’t no beginner.” Suddenly, Alex is 14 again, sitting in church and shuffling uncomfortably in his Sunday best as he’s helpless to listen to the minister as he tells them to cast out sinners; sinners that Alex is too afraid to admit he identifies with.

His parents had always taken the ministers word as if it had come from God himself, so they’d done just as he said.

When Alex had told them he was gay, they’d cast him out. They’d barely given it any thought at all.

”’Cause I just couldn’t open up, I’m always shiftin’.” Alex sighs before launching into the next line, a sour taste in his mouth. “Go find yourself a man who’s strong and tall and Christian.”

The gold chain around his neck burns, heavy with the phantom weight of the cross that used to hang from it. Alex swallows. His eyes feel suspiciously wet as he continues to strum through the end of the song.

He lets out a shaky breath and leans back against the couch, catching his breath and letting the guitar just lay across his body. It’s quiet mornings like these that make Alex hurt the most. Mornings that are cold and unfocused and quiet; mornings that give him too much space to think.

He hears the sound of someone proofing into the garage and shoes shuffling against the ground and he sighs. He wipes his eyes before he opens them, seeing Luke and Reggie standing in front of him.

Reggie is sheepishly fiddling with his fingers and Luke looks vastly uncomfortable; like he’s been caught looking at something he wasn’t supposed to... but seeing them makes a comforting warmth explode in Alex’s chest.

“Hey,” Alex says softly, lifting the guitar off his lap and putting it on the coffee table, being careful not to scratch the wood. “How much of that did you hear?”

”Pretty much all of it,” Reggie says, flopping down next to Alex on the couch. Alex leans toward him almost automatically.

Luke joins them. Alex knows he isn’t great with vulnerability, but he can tell he’s trying, and that’s enough to make the tears threaten to spill all over again.

“You alright, man?” Luke asks quietly. “It looked like things were getting kind of intense.”

Alex sniffs, shrugs, and looks up at the chairs hanging from the ceiling. “I think so,” he says. “I just started thinking about my folks... and Andie.”

Reggie winces and bumps their knees together. Neither of them say anything, but Alex knows they’re listening.

Luke reaches for Alex’s hand and he welcomes the touch, squeezing Luke back just as tight.

“I just...” The words get caught in Alex’s throat, “were they sad when they found out?” He clenches his jaw. “A part of me wonders, y’know... maybe they were relieved.”

“Alex—”

”No, Luke, they kicked me out!” He says. “I might as well’ve died right on their porch the night my Dad told me to pack my shit and leave!”

He doesn’t mean to raise his voice, but it just happens. He gives Reggie an apologetic look. Alex knows how he gets when people yell.

“I’m sorry,” Alex whispers. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“It does if it’s hurting you,” Reggie says quietly. “Have you thought about tracking them down?”

Alex tugs at his chain as Reggie’s question twists and turns in his mind.

Surprisingly, he hasn’t. Not really. The minute he stepped out of that house, his parents had stopped feeling like family. Luke, Reggie, and Bobby had been his family for far longer than his parents had been.

“No,” Alex says after a moment. “They aren’t my family anymore. You guys are.”

Luke bumps their shoulders together and Alex smiles, grabbing Reggie’s hand with his free one.

“What about Andie?” Luke asks, stroking his thumb across the back of Alex’s hand. “You told us she was chill when you came out.”

Hearing Luke say her name stings in a way he hadn’t expected.

“She was.” Alex looks at the guitar sitting on the coffee table. “I do wonder sometimes, I guess but... what good would that do? It’s not like I could talk to her. And even if I could, it’s not... I couldn’t hurt her like that.”

Reggie furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

Alex sighs. “If she did mourn me when I d-died...” for some reason saying the ‘d’ word feels harder than it’s ever felt, “I couldn’t put her through that again just to ask her whether or not mom and died cried at my funeral.”

All three of them fall silent as the morning sun finally starts to rise. Alex leans his head back and feels a smile grow on his face; because for the first time since all of this started, he feels... okay.

He hates not knowing so much about his own life (or... death, he supposes), but... death gave him so much.

“I know dying sucked.” Alex looks down at his, Luke’s, and Reggie’s clasped hands and smiles wider. “But I think this was... the best worst-case scenario.”

Luke grins, too. “Yeah?”

A sunbeam streams into the garage and catches against the glass of the window, causing a rainbow to appear on the very edge of Alex’s knee. It’s so perfectly absurd that he can’t help but giggle.

“Yeah,” Alex says breathlessly, letting go of Luke and Reggie’s hands so he can wrap his arms around their shoulders instead.

Because they’re all that really matters.

His family.

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Fourteen)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Thirteen ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Fifteen

We stopped in front of the new location of The Art of Taste, where a group of people were waiting to enter. The entire facade was lit with small bulbs wrapped around the bushes, which framed the outside.

My mom is the first out of the car, excited, barely expecting Luke and me. She takes the lead, going straight to security and showing us our invitations.

“She's very excited”. Hemmo comments from beside me, offering me his arm.

“You have no idea.” I open a smile.

We followed my mother as she led the way, looking for Mr. Marshall. I appreciate the decor of the place and fall in love with the small wooden bridge that leads into the restaurant, passing by a pond with koi.

"Debra! You came!” Mr. Marshall approaches as excited as my mother. “You’re stunning.” her cheeks blush.

“Oh, not that much. It's an old little dress I had in the back of the closet.” she lowers her head shyly.

"Didn't she say she bought the dress today?" Luke whispered confusedly to me, almost making me laugh. I watch the two lovebirds praising and flirting like two teenagers.

"Marnie! I'm happy for your presence too.” he hugs me. “You must be Luke! Debra talks about you a lot.” he opens a sympathetic smile.

Subtly, I widen my eyes at my mom, wanting to scold her, but she just shrugged, ignoring me. Luke smiles sympathetically and handles the situation perfectly.

Mr. Marshall takes us to a more private table and away from the window for more privacy. I sit next to Luke, having a full view of whoever enters the restaurant.

“I'm going to have the menu degustations served, and if you don't mind, I'm going to steal Debra for a while.” he smiles at my mother.

“Be my guest!” I open a tight smile, very happy for them.

"Is there something I should know?" Luke asks me after the two walk away arm in arm.

“They're in love, but they don't know what to do.” Summary, still watching the them.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about it." Luke repeats the same thing I said yesterday. I let out a laugh, disbelieving his audacity.

“Sorry, there was no time.” I raise my eyebrows, like he does.

Yesterday was a special night with Luke. After Urban Light, we went to Santa Monica, to sit on the sand and watch the sea, illuminated by the lights from the pier. It was fun to have this time with him without anyone looking at us like fools for whatever move we made.

It was nice to meet him and know everything he likes and dislikes, as well as getting to know the band's history better. For moments like this, just the two of us, I could let him get closer, totally letting my guard down and creating a better relationship.

Of course because of this endless conversation we had and cause we got super late back home, today I woke up looking like a zombie and only managed to get out of bed by a miracle. But even tired, I would do everything exactly the same, just to be able to spend this time with him.

"Should we wait for the girls?" I question, seeing a board of small toast and various types of sauces and pates being served to us.

“I believe not!” he's the first to take the toast and dip it in a red sauce.

I follow him, quickly taking two and sinking into the same sauce. Tomato and basil. I let out an exclamation when I taste it. I start to eat more, after all, I didn't even have time to have lunch today and I didn't even want to, because I knew I would eat here.

I had invited everyone to come to the opening today, but only Luke, Leah, and Kyleen agreed right away. Calum, Ash and Noah had other commitments and Michael also tried to use this one, but Ashton soon revealed the lie, saying that he was actually going on a date, with that Sophie.

"You didn't have lunch today, did you?" I stop the toast in the air, mouth open, watching Luke look me curious.

“I didn’t have time.” I answer a little embarrassed.

“Well, if we run out of those toast, just ask for more.” he takes one more, sinking now into a green pate. I watch his face, trying to guess what that would be.

“Pesto?” I ask, looking at the pot. Luke denies it. I smell the content not identifying much.

"A bitter taste." he make a face. “No! It's a good bitter.” he adds quickly.

When I least notice, Hemmings and I are playing russian roulette with sauce and pates. We just don't know how to just eat quietly, we have to play.

"Bad?" I ask, watching him close his eyes and wrinkle his nose. Luke nodded, swallowing and eating another toast with the tuna pate, which was what we liked best.

"A taste of… I can't explain it. Eats!” he offers me the toast with the white pate and small green bits.

“No! Don't you know what it is and want to push it to me?” I drop the toast on my plate, wanting distance.

Interrupting our little discussion, Leah and Kyleen arrive.

“Sorry we’re late. There was an accident on the expressway. Have you started eating yet?” Leah glances across the table sulkily.

"M&Ms didn't have lunch." Luke hands it to me. I slap his arm.

“Great, there are two of us.” Kiki smiles, already eating some toast. "What is this one?" she points to the weird pate.

“We haven't eaten yet, but try it there.” Hemmings encourages, surprising me with his performance. I stare at him laughing.

Like Luke, Kiki grimaces, disapproving of the pate. I offer my glass of juice to her, which she drinks in one gulp.

“This is horrible. What is that?” she whispers disgustedly.

Luke steals the menu from the next table, looking for the pate. I squint at the ingredients: ricotta, gorgonzola and pickles. I understand why it's horrible.

It doesn't take long and more stuff arrives at our table. Once again, we started our russian roulette, trying everything out and grading, as if we were at MasterChef. We really don't have maturity for anything.

Looking at the restaurant entrance, I start nudging Luke, flustered, discreetly asking him and the girls to look too. Surprised and excited, we watched Michael approach our table, hand in hand with a girl shorter than him.

“Is it her?” I try to contain my excited voice.

“It's her!” Hemmo confirms.

“Okay! But who is she?” Kyleen asks, lost.

“They met at a game match and now Michael is in love.” I almost run over my words, trying to deliver the information before they arrived.

"I didn't tell you." Luke already takes his off the line.

“Hey!” Michael sighs standing next to the table.

“Hey!” aside from Luke, the girls and I were all smiles.

“This is Sophie! My friend.” Mike introduces. The girl with dark hair and two streaks white, like Narcissa in Harry Potter, smiles shyly.

“Sorry for the delay, we got lost.” her voice is low.

“Actually, I didn't want to come.” Michael doesn't even bother to lie. If it wasn't a public place, I'd throw a shoe on him.

Sophie excuses herself and heads to the bathroom as we pull another table for them. Michael sits across from Luke, leaving Sophie in mine and Leah beside her.

“Please, I'll pay you whatever you want, but don't embarrass me.” Mike begs. “I like her a lot.” he admits it quietly.

"Awn!" me and the girls hold hands, dying of love.

“I hate you.” he declares.

“To show that we are willing to help, do not eat the white pate. It’s not from this world. And not in the good way.” Leah warns him.

Sophie returns to the table, taking a seat across from me. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice how Michael's posture becomes tense. He's so into her. Without needing much, we start a conversation and Sophie slowly walks in, forming a group.

“This gaming field must be shit, right? I mean, for who is a woman, isn't it?” Kyleen asks.

“Yea! No man likes to lose to a woman. They never accept that I play better than they do. Cause of this, when Michael called me, I thought he was going to argue with me.” she gives a shy smile.

"Actually, I was going to ask for my shield back." he gives an ashamed laugh.

"And complain to me how you lost." she completes, making him laugh. The way they look at each other makes my heart melt.

The four of them get carried away on a subject as I approach Luke.

“They're really cute.” I whisper.

"I think we're both a lot cuter." he snaps, smiling. I open a smile, denying the way he's sassy.

“You were not like this.” I comment with a smile. I take my gaze to the hall, finding my mother walking with Mr. Marshall, still arm in arm. "I think they're cuter than us." Luke follows my gaze.

“All right! She's your mother, I'll give you my arm. Do you think they'll be together?”

“I hope!”

“Are you gossiping about Debra?” I am startled by Kyleen approaching me and joining in our conversation.

"What's the gossip with Debra?" Leah already turns her attention to us.

"Is there gossip about Debra?" Michael leans against the table, moving closer.

I look at the curious faces trying to identify how my mom became the subject of the table. If she knows this, she will kill me!

"Don't let her know that." I declare before I lean against the table and tell her about my mother and Mr. Marshall.

Friday

I feel terrible, not only for the cramps and indisposition, but mainly for having to cancel with Luke. I've waited so long for this date and now I'm here, lying on the couch, suffering for being born a woman.

“Here.” Leah hands me a pain killer and a hot water bottle. I lay my head on her lap, wanting to cry. “It's OK.” she repeats calmly as she cuddles me. She knows why. “You can go out next week, he won't change his mind until then.”

“I know he won’t, but…” I catch my throat, not wanting to accept that I would cry about this, but I can't control it, letting a few tears fall. Damn hormones. “I don't know if I can make it another week, I was so excited.” my voice crack it. “Stop laughing!” I scream when I feel her body move.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! But you look so funny like this. Sorry.” she hugs me, holding back her laughter.

Before I can complain, the doorbell rings and I'm grateful that Kiki has finally arrived with food and a lap where I can cry more. Leah runs to open the door and I feel my heartbeat stop for seconds when his voice reaches me. I lift my head, seeing him come in full of bags and a Petunia on a leash.

“What are you doing here?” I quickly dry my face and try to fix my hair. I look awful. Luke looks at me confused and opens his arms, as if the answer is wide open there.

“I came to take care of you, of course.” he laughs. Leah is behind him, smiling like hell.

I sink my face into the pillow, wanting to cry more. I don't deserve him. I don’t deserve. Luke lets go of Petunia, who runs off to try to climb onto the couch and lick me. Leah helps Luke empty the bags in the kitchen.

While they straighten everything out in the kitchen, I go back to tidying up my appearance, trying to look at least presentable.

"I brought some soup that Calum made. Pain killers, sweets and some facial masks, This always helps you relax and get better.” he comes closer and I just want to bury myself. I look awful.

“I can't believe you came here and still brought all this.” my heart melts at the attitude and smile he gives.

"I'm sorry if you thought you were going to get rid of me." he sits beside me with a bowl of soup, pleasant smell by the way. I move closer, almost getting under his arms and snuggling into his chest. However, I still keep a safe distance and control my urges to cling to him.

“Well, since you’re very well cared for and accompanied. I think I'm on my way.” Leah still has the smile. “Get well.” she kisses my cheek. "Anything, call me. And you, take good care of her.” she orders Luke.

“Promise!” he raises his right hand.

Leah left, leaving us alone. Petunia lying on my lap, curious about the hot water bottle. Luke beside me, holding the bowl and spoonful of broth toward me.

"You know you don't have to spoon-feed me, don't you?" I ask before opening my mouth.

"Can you let me take care of you?" he counters, falsely sulking.

“You can, just don't need…”

“Sh-sh! Eat the soup.” he advances another spoonful into my mouth. I roll my eyes, silent.

"Calum who did it?" I ask impressed, after a few spoonfuls.

“He's been taking some cooking lessons, especially now that he's turned vegetarian.”

"You should do it too, to stop making eggs in the microwave." I let a fake smile in the end.

"Worried about me?" he asks smiling.

"Shut up and give me the soup." I ignored him, taking a deep breath and not smiling under his amused gaze.

Between spoonfuls, I play with Petunia, already feeling much better. At least the urge to cry has passed.

"You said you brought candy." I knelt on the couch, watching him carry the bowl of soup to the sink. Luke laughs, grabbing some white and pink boxes from the fridge.

“Yes, I believe sugar can help.” he puts the boxes on the table and pulls Petunia onto the rug. “You don’t!” she barks. “You can’t!” she barks louder. “Hey! Come! I'll give you your food.” I watch her follow him into the kitchen.

I open the first white box seeing a generous piece of Red Velvet. I pick up the fork he brought and already steal a piece. In the second box, I find four cupcakes and four donuts. My eyes widen as I open the third box.

"Did you go to Mr. Marshall's restaurant?" I question shocked.

“Yea! You said you liked his chocolate cake. He made this one especially for you.” I look at the smaller size cake.

“I don't remember him decorating with M&Ms.” I comment, stealing a piece already.

“Oh, I asked him to do it.”

I close my eyes, letting my body react to that information any way it wants to. He asked them to put M&Ms on my cake because he knows I like it.

Luke returns to sit beside me, picking up a white chocolate cupcake. I hold the box of Red Velvet in my lap, recklessly eating the cake.

"Argh! I feel so guilty. I'm going to get fat like this.” I complain, but without stopping eating.

“You are indisposed, you can eat what you want. Tomorrow we worry about our weight.” Luke speaks with his mouth full.

"I thought you didn't like red desserts." I comment, watching him take a full fork of my cake.

“How do you know that?” he looks at me curiously. Then I realize I've been cornered.

“In an interview last year.” then I fill my mouth, making it impossible for me to continue the conversation.

"Are you still googling me?" he puts again that amused/satisfied smile on his face.

“Of course, you were my boyfriend. I need to know what kind of people I'm getting involved with.” I shrug.

“I understood. Well, I really don't like it. I don't understand the need to make it red.”

“It's to be more aesthetically beautiful. It's like wearing makeup. You use it and looks more beautiful, it enhances your beauty.” Luke stares at me, holding back his laughter. I've seen this same expression when I defended my M&M’s organizer.

“Well, I know you're crazy about this cake, so I brought it.” he shrugs, like it's no big deal. But for me it's something. If Luke still has any intentions of winning me back, he's doing great.

“Thanks.” I advance toward him, kissing his cheek in shyly. I notice Luke is ashamed too, but maintains his pose.

After we stuff ourselves with candy. Luke and I were in the bathroom, trying to put on those face masks. At first I thought he brought it just for me, but when I saw him putting it on, I understood that he would participate body and soul in that night with me.

“This isn't right.” he comments still struggling with that piece of material.

"You didn't put it upside down, did you?" I approach trying to help.

“No! The eyes are here. So why don't stay?” I see the mask slip off his face. I hold back a laugh, taking the material from his hands.

"If you take the cape off, it stays." I pull out the plastic that holds the oils and put it on his face.

“Makes more sense.” he comments, watching me massage his face. “I need to shave.” he says as I massage his cheeks.

“No!” the answer comes out faster than I can think.

Luke stares at me in surprise at the revelation. With my hands still on his face, I notice the mood and walk away, drying my hands.

“And now?” I stare at him behind me in the mirror. Luke just raises his hands and shakes his fingers, demonstrating that we're going to get our nails done. The scene itself is so funny it makes me laugh. He's the best boyfriend anyone could have. "I think we'd better wait the twenty minutes for the mask, so as not to blur our work."

“Truth. Let's get back to the series then.” he turns around, his back to me, crouching down a little. I grab his shoulders and push off, climbing on his back. And like this, we go back to the room, on piggyback.

I go back under the covers, grateful that I'm sitting down because my legs are killing me. How can something that stays in the womb fuck my entire body? I shift uncomfortably, not finding a position that would make my legs stop hurting.

“Is it everything OK?” he asks, hitting play on The Office.

“My legs.” I answer softly, lying down on the couch with my head next to him.

“Turn. Put your legs here.” he pats his lap. I roll over on the couch, leaving my legs in his lap, where within seconds Luke starts massaging my legs.

I roll my eyes, feeling my body soften. A moan wants to escape, but I hold it with all the strength in the world, along with the treacherous declaration that explodes in my chest. They were three dangerous words that could mess with him more than anything else.

“You are incredible!” I exchange the words, feeling more secure in that expression. The blonde chuckles, shaking his head as he squeezes my foot.

I can't focus for a minute on TV. The feel of him touching my skin so gently and stiffly steals all my attention. I shift my gaze between him and the screen so I don't get so in the face that I'm staring at him.

After twenty minutes of the mask, we went back to the bathroom, washing our faces and then starting to do our nails. I'm sitting, glued to Luke, my hand propped up on a pillow in his lap as he applies the black nail polish. Once again I shift my gaze between him and the new episode, but I don't care if he catches me staring in the meantime.

"Did we do that a lot?" I inquire softly. Luke doesn't answer me with words, too focused on his work, just nodding his head positively.

“Especially when you were feeling bad, or when I was really tired and stressed out.” he complements after finishing a hand. “Tv shows, candies, beauty treatments and massage. Once you wanted to invent climbing on my back, massaging me with your feet.” he starts to smile, still focused.

“I'm sorry.” I lay my head against his shoulder. Let out a low laugh, focused on him.

“It wasn't one of our best ideas. But I can't deny that it wasn't good.”

"Were you happy with me? I mean, we had a good relationship, didn't we?” I question after a while.

Luke stops and stares at the wall, maybe thinking. I analyze your profile apprehensive about the delay. Then his eyes connect to mine. It's like a screen, I don't need the answer anymore, it's there, explicit in the glow of his eyes.

“Yes. I believe we had a great relationship.” he goes back to painting my nails, putting the last coat on.

“Itn't was those weird, honeyed types, was it?” curiosity takes me more every second. Luke holds back a laugh, denying it.

“No! I tried once, but you hit me with the pillow. But that's not our style either. It's like wanting Leah to be cute.” he shrugs. "Don't let her know that." he looked at me in alarm.

“I won’t! Honestly, I'm glad it's you here.” he stops and looks at me curiously. “You know…not that she's not amazing. Even because she was taking really good care of me, but…” I swallow with his gaze so fixed on me. Oh Lord, where are the words?! “You are you!” I shrug. "Don't let her know that." I ask in an alarmed way, as well as he.

“I'm me?” he turns more to me.

“Yeah!” I take a deep breath, trying to find myself in the mess I decided to make. “You seem to know how to handle this whole situation and cause…" Why is it so hard for me to say that I enjoy his company? “You know…I like being with you.” I whisper, wanting to crumble into thin air and disappear.

I lower my gaze, not holding that moment. I've known Luke for a month. I know that he only has size and age in his identity, that inside he is as child and silly as the guys. But there's something about him, so subtle and unobtrusive, that intimidates me so much.

“I like being with you too… but something tells me you already know.” the playful tone breaks the pit of shame I was in. I open a shy smile, going back to watching him finish painting my nails.

“Can I ask you something?” I question fearfully, after he finishes. Luke nodded. "How was that day? The one from the accident.”

He just stops. His jaw locks and that glint in his eyes fades. He leans back against the sofa, snorting. I feel bad for causing this discomfort. I'm even thinking about withdrawing the question, however, Luke is already starting to speak.

“You had gone to rehearse for Vogue and then we were supposed to go to lunch cause I turned off your alarm, and then you were late and we can't have breakfast together.” he narrates quietly and with a lost look.

"Why did you turned off my alarm?" I frown, confused.

"Cause I thought that way you'd stay home with me." I pick up my lips, pressing them together so I don't laugh at his pout. “Well, I was at the restaurant when it happened. The manager came to me and told me what happened, apparently was already on the news.” he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I was the first to arrive, but you were already in attendance, so I only saw you in your room a couple hours later.”

"The nurse said you slept there." I comment quietly, letting my mind wander to that day. Your cheeks are easily pink.

"I wasn't leaving your side." he answers in the same tone.

“Sorry I got you into this. And for being stupid the first time we met…again.” I add.

“It's OK! I mean, it was kind of good.” I widen my eyes, not understanding. “By making you fall in love with me again, I also ended up falling in love with you all over again.”

My heart races. The revelation takes me by surprise, not giving me time to hide the stupid grin gaping at my face. I roll my eyes, looking at the TV, which is currently playing with Jim asking Pam on a date. Ironically, she had the same stupid smile as mine.

"I never said I'm in love with you." I try to maintain my dignity, or whatever I'm supposed to maintain at a time like this.

“It's just a matter of time.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see him shrug. “You've already admitted that you like being with me. For those who hated me in that hospital, enjoying my presence is already a big step forward.”

I bite my lip, closing my eyes. He can’t be serious.

"I never said I hated you." I look at him, who was focused on the TV.

"And you never said you're not in love with me either." he blinks, smiling in amusement.

“I hate you!” I say loud enough.

“In seventh grade, when a girl said she hated a boy, it's because she liked him.” Luke comments, leaving me speechless, my mouth hanging open. "I will take your silence as a yes."

I kneel down on the couch, taking the pillow from my lap and hitting it. Hemmings starts to laugh as he shields himself from the flurry of beatings I give him. My God, how I hate him.

I return to sit on the couch more relieved, but still with my heart pounding. It's a mixture of very random feelings. I want to hit him at the same time I want to kiss him as I sink his head into the coffee table, telling him how much I like him.

The desire to let these feelings take over me fascinates me. But that's not how I wanted everything to happen between us. Expected to be a little more romantic, with me more tidy and less messy.

"You made me smudge my nail." Finally, I accuse him, sulking.

[connorandersons-blog]

RK1700: Connor gets bullied & protective Nines?

Ok, so there is the obvious warning for bullying, but Connor also kinda gets the shit beat out of him, so there's that. Hope you enjoy!!

--------------------------

No matter how hard he tried, Connor wasn't the most liked in the station. He tried, he really did, but a lot of the humans weren't exactly happy with the androids. The public in general was more positive but that didn't mean everyone would like them. Hell, most of the people who supported them weren't in Detroit.

The one person he expected to be a dick to him wasn't. Well, not directly. He avoided Connor and acted almost emotionless when they did have to interact.

Connor was sure it was a mixture between Connor having beaten his ass in the evidence room and Nines.

Nines had been assigned to Gavin and seemed to have taken it as a personal challenge. He was beyond intimating and Gavin seemed to shrink away from him more than try to sass or talk back.

He'd gotten apologizes from a few officers but after it got them almost outcasted, people stopped. Hank didn't care about others, he stuck by Connor. Not that he was even that close. They trusted one another but they weren't as close as Connor would have liked. He knew it would take time, Hank didn't want to get close to someone else again.

Connor was basically alone. He hated it. He hated the stupid humans and their mean words. He hated their sneers and he hated himself for putting up with it.

He didn't want to fight back. He hoped he could be like Markus, somehow win them over with respect and pacifism. But it just seemed to make everything worse. What was he doing wrong?!?

What was even worse was the insults. They knew how to get to Connor, what words to say to make it actually hurt. They would say things they didn't even believe if it meant getting at Connor.

Like now.

"How many did you kill? Huh? You were here for a whole damn year before all this shit went down. How many didn't you murder?" Officer Laurens sneers and Connor ducks his head.

He was trying to get a coffee for Hank, hoping him doing so would improve their relationship. He opened his mouth before closing it. He knew how many. He could never forget that, not ever.

He had arrested 112 androids which he knew now lead to death. He had killed 15 himself. Exactly 127 in all.

"Aww, the poor 'droid is upset!" He laughed before pushing past Connor and back into the bullpen.

Connor bit the inside of his cheek, willing the tears away. Sure some of the androids actually deserved to be caught but they didn't deserve to be dissected like animals. The other androids didn't deserve the fear when Connor's name was muttered under their breath.

"Connor, may I have a word?" A voice calls out and Connor jumps, sloshing the hot coffee onto his hands.

"Ow! Fuck," he grumbled, putting the cup down and moving to the sink to run his hands under the cold water.

Nines walks over and stands next to Connor, his hands clasped behind his back. "I apologize for startling you and therefore causing you harm, that wasn't my intention."

Connor stared at the water flowing over his hands. It didn't pool, it didn't linger. It avoided him just as much as everyone else did. "It's ok… probably deserve it anyway." The last bit was mumbled but Nines probably still heard it. He was better than Connor in every way.

"I don't agree, you don't deserve any of the treatment you have been receiving. Why haven't you stood up for yourself?" Nines asks, pulling Connor's hands out of the water and reaching above to the counter, grabbing the android first aid kit.

Connor let his hands be taken, eyes never leaving the floor. "I don't see a reason to. They are right, I did kill our people."

Nines stayed quiet for a few seconds, but those seconds felt like hours as Nines started to treat the burns. "Yesterday I had to shoot an android that raised a weapon to a suspect."

"It's not the same." He mumbled. He remembered each face, every single name, and every single voice.

"An android I arrested has gotten the death sentence. Markus himself has shared about the junkyard and what he had to do to stay alive. If you disobeyed your orders it would have led to you being deactivated. I know for a fact Markus does not blame you or even see a reason to and neither do I." Nines then covered Connor's hand with his own. It was oddly intimate, this was more contact than he ever had with Nines before.

Connor didn't want to argue because he didn't want to prove himself right and have Nines hate him. "Ok." He simply said, not giving in on his views of himself, but hoping to end the conversation.

Nines stared at him for what felt like centuries before moving away. "Again, I apologize for startling you. If you need reassurance I am here."

Connor bit the inside of his cheek but nodded. Like hell, he'd go to Nines to simply complain about jerks. He should be strong enough mentally to handle it, but everyone seemed to know he wasn't.

It was a month later when it all escalated. Connor had gone to the parking deck, finishing up a day's work and ready to get home when he was ambushed.

He easily identified five men, all worked at the DPD alongside Connor. These were the same men who tormented him, but it seemed they had only just been warming up.

Oliver rained blows onto Connor as if he meant to smash him into the very earth and Laurens and Max did the same, the other two held Connor down. Did they think he'd fight back? Each didn't just want Connor dead, they wanted him smashed, obliterated, nothing left to even recognize.

He simply tried to curl up, protect his head and thirium pump at all costs. Each hit sent a jolt of pain through him, and he wanted to call out for help but knew no one would come. Most would simply look the other way. His stomach ached, his arms lost tension and his legs began to weaken. He couldn't hold on much longer, the taste of his own blue blood was strong in his mouth.

Then there was shouting and the kicking and hitting stopped. He cracked one eye open and saw Nines easily restraining Oliver first.

He easily twists their arms causing them to scream in pain before he let them go. They all scramble away, terrified of the murderous look on Nines face.

Connor would be terrified too if he was going up against Nines. But then Nines was crouching down in front of him, his face morphing into one of concern.

His face wasn't too bad, just a cut above his eyebrow, the scarlet blood flowing into his eyes. It was his body that was damaged and left him shaking. He was lucky they didn't break anything but it was damn near close.

Nines' eyes scanned from one injury to another, taking in the gore that was Connor's body. Then he very gently picked him up bridal style and carried him to be able to sit against the wall.

"I'm sorry I'm so weak" Connor whispered, wincing at every small movement.

"You are attacked because you have self-restraint, not because you are weak. I will make sure no one ever touches you like that again." There's so much conviction in his voice that Connor can't help but believe him. Nines would keep him safe.

"Oh, so people can touch me in a different way?" Connor tried to tease, his smirk looking more like a grimace.

"No, no one can touch you like that either." It was mumbled as Nines started to make sure the healing process was kicking in, but Connor heard.

Well, that was certainly interesting and he couldn't seem to stop talking even if he knew he'd regret it later. "And why not?"

Nines looked up, the corner of his lips upturned but Connor saw a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. "Because that's my job."

"Oh," he breathed out. He simply blinked at Nines, knowing he had a deep blush on his face. "Ok."

He was definitely not opposed to that idea, he simply never thought Nines would want that kind of thing, romantic or otherwise, with Connor.

Yet, the gentle way Nines reached up and brushed a strand of hair out of Connor's face said otherwise. He leaned into it, letting his eyes flutter closed. He felt safe. Safer than he ever had before even with having just been beaten to a pulp. Being near Nines always made him feel so safe.

"Let's get you some thirium then later we can perhaps talk more." Nines didn't move away, keeping his hand gently cradling Connor.

"Yeah, yeah I'd like that."

[tanyawritesstories]

An Apple A Day | Doctor!Anakin Skywalker x Reader Modern AU

I got this idea from a post of Julia's and I had to write it. It was so fun, I spent every spare minute I had yesterday writing it on my breaks at work.

@anakinswhore and @starwarsdust here it is! I hope you enjoy it, I think I got every point mentioned in that post. I hope I did your man well!

Word count: 2,260

Warnings: fluff, flirting, bad doctor jokes, sexual innuendos, Anakin being cheeky

•••

You hated going to the Doctor. You felt fine, why bother paying someone just to have them tell you what you already knew? It didn't matter, you knew it was probably a good idea and your parents always encouraged you to go. You could practically hear your mother’s voice: “You might feel fine but there are things they can find out with their technology that you’ll never even notice.” You nearly rolled your eyes at the thought. Hell, if an apple a day actually kept the Doctor away, you might be inclined to eat them.

You wandered up to the receptionist and gave her your information as she got you checked in. “Just to let you know, Dr. Atkins isn’t in today, she’s on vacation, but we do have a substitute,” the lady informed you. You raised your eyebrows questioningly. “He’s relatively new but everyone he works with says he’s amazing and his patients rave about him.”

You sighed, “Ok, not like I have much of a choice I suppose, thank you.”

“We’ll call you back when we’re ready.”

You took a seat in the stereotypical hospital waiting room. Chairs with boring colors and scratchy upholstery, carpet with some of the strangest designs you’ve ever seen, and an old tv in the corner stuck on an HGTV marathon of House Hunters. You sat scrolling through your phone, trying to do anything to drone out your surroundings.

“Y/N L/N?” A nurse called from the doorway next to the desk. You reluctantly removed yourself from the chair and followed her down the hallway. She took your height and weight before ushering you into an exam room. The nurse proceeded to take your blood pressure and note any changes since your last visit, which you were proud to say had been around six years ago, though the nurse seemed to disapprove.

“I’m finished here, just sit tight and Doctor Skywalker will be with you shortly.”

You laughed out loud after she shut the door. Skywalker? What kind of name was that? You sat kicking your legs back and forth on the exam table, toying with your fingernails. You fully expected this Dr. Skywalker to be some older guy with an ego bigger than your apartment, thinking he could cure every ailment under the sun. You jumped when there was a knock on the door and the Doctor walked into the room. He was not at all what you had pictured.

He was a younger guy, probably in his mid to late twenties and very attractive. He fixed you with an intense but gentle and kind look as he extended a hand to you.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Doctor Anakin Skywalker. You must be Y/N?”

You found yourself frozen, staring at him for a moment before coming out of your stupor and shaking his hand. “Yes, nice to meet you too,” your voice came out as a barely audible squeak, though you hadn’t meant it to. He pulled a rolling stool over from the other side of the room and sat down facing you, beginning to look through a computer at the nurse’s notes.

God, he was gorgeous. His hair was shoulder length and the color a medium brown, it looked fluffy as it framed his face and you wanted to run your fingers through it. His face was friendly and his presence brought a comfortable and calming aura to the room. He was dressed in the usual Doctor attire, a spotless lab coat, black trousers, a light blue button down, and black dress shoes. Somehow it looked so much better on him.

“How are you feeling today?” He asked, putting the laptop on the counter. His voice was soothing and pleasant to listen to, it held firm tones but overall gentleness.

“I’m fine,” you responded quietly. He was having this strange effect on you, he was intimidating but in the best possible way. You were never normally this quiet or shy, moments ago you were ready to complain about the fact that you even had to be here. Now you found yourself rendered nearly speechless in front of this handsome young Doctor.

“Just here for a regular check up then, correct?” He asked. You nodded and managed a small smile, not trusting your voice. He smiled and you nearly choked on oxygen as he grabbed the stethoscope from around his neck and stood next to you. He was tall and towered over you, you tried to keep your breathing in check but you couldn’t exactly force your heart to slow down it’s beating.

He put one of his hands on your back and pressed the instrument over your chest. His hands were large and warm and your skin felt like it was on fire through your clothes from his touch. You chewed on the inside of your cheek as his eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “Your heart is beating a little fast, are you doing ok?” You nodded again, “Yeah, I guess I’m just nervous at Doctor appointments.” Your voice had returned to it’s normal volume at last. “Don’t worry that’s completely normal,” he said, “Other than it being a little flustered, your heart sounds good.” He made eye contact with you as the word ‘flustered’ fell over his lips, which you found yourself stealing glances at.

He switched the stethoscope to your back, placing his hand on your shoulder as he gave you instructions to breath in and out as he listened to your lungs. That also helped to calm yourself down, except now your skin was burning in yet another place where he touched you. “Your lungs sound good, too,” he announced with a satisfactory smile. He asked you to sit up as straight as you could and he ran his fingers down the length of your spine, leaving sparks in their wake. Your breath hitched without you knowing it.

“Are you doing alright still?” You nearly flinched with how close his voice was to your ear. “Yea, I’m alright,” you answered. Better than alright, you thought. “Good, just let me know if you’re ever uncomfortable or need a minute, ok?” He consoled, reaching for another tool on the wall. He was calming and reassuring and it just drew you to him more. He used the tool to look into your ear canal, all while he laid one hand on the back of your neck to keep your head steady. “That one looks good, turn your head for me..” he took the tool in his other hand, leaving your neck void of his searing touch. He touched his fingertips lightly to your jaw, urging you to turn your head.

You ears look perfectly healthy as well, however,” he paused to touch the back of his hand to your forehead for a brief second, “You look really hot to me," he held your eyes in a smouldering glance as he said it, "so I think I’ll take your temperature, just in case. I'd hate to send you out of here without knowing you're ok.” He crossed the room to get another piece of equipment and you touched your hands to your face, indeed feeling how hot it was. You couldn’t ignore the flirty little look he gave you as he delivered the line, he had probably noticed you blushing since he stepped foot in the room.

He came back with a thermometer in hand. He stood directly in front of you, your knees brushing against his thighs. “Alright, open wide, I’m just going to stick this under your tongue,” he instructed. That one had you salivating, and not only in your mouth..

He was speaking innocently enough and any normal person wouldn’t think anything of it. But with this insanely attractive and doting Doctor standing in front you, saying those words like that, it caused your mind to drift to only dirty places.

"This might cause a little discomfort, I'm just going to shine this light into your eyes for a few seconds," Dr. Skywalker informed you. You decided to be bold and chanced a comment back. "I've had worse things in my eyes," you said, smirking. He sent you a look, and you thought you had gone too far. "Yeah, I thought I saw something in there, but it was just a sparkle," he replied, smirking right back. He turned to type away at the computer and you stifled a giggle.

Your eyes stayed glued to Dr. Skywalker as he finished your exam, checking a few other things.

"Alright, so you look great. Everything is in order, you're perfectly healthy," he announced. "The only thing I would suggest is eating more fruit, you seem to be getting a limited amount of essential vitamins."

"I'm not a big fan of fruit," you admitted. "How about smoothies?" He suggested, "It's a healthy way to get the vitamins you need and if you add sugar it may not taste as bad."

You smiled at him and slid off the exam table. "I just might give it a try," you said. "Great! Other than that you're all set. If you ever need anything, just call me," he used that flirty tone of voice again and winked at you. "I would say I hope I don't see you again since I'd like to stay healthy, but, I know not to lie to my Doctor," you said smugly.

He opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Anakin, your next patient is waiting," an annoyed voice with a slight Scottish accent said from outside. You smiled and gave him a wink before exiting the room and finding your way to the lobby.

Bonus content, (because I got hooked on this concept):

That weekend you found yourself at your favorite bar after a hard day at work. You were a few drinks in and only buzzed, you knew your limits. You swished the whiskey around in your glass and stared at it until a voice interrupted.

"Imagine seeing you here."

Your head spun around at the familiar sounding voice, only to come face to face with Doctor Skywalker. Your jaw dropped almost all the way to the floor. "D-doctor Skywalker, I didn't expect to see you here," you stuttered.

If you thought he looked good in his work uniform, boy was he breathtaking now. He still sported the black slacks and dress shoes, but wearing a black button down with the first few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Fuck, was he handsome.

"Please just call me Anakin when we're not in a professional setting, Y/N," he smiled. "Alright, I think I can do that," you said with a smirk, "Can I buy you a drink, Anakin?"

"I'd like that, I'll have what you're having," he took the seat next to you at the bar, resting his forearms on the bartop.

"How often do you frequent this establishment?" He asked.

You laughed. "Is that a fancy way of asking if I come here often?" He shrugged with a smile on his face. "Occasionally, what about you? I've never seen you here before," you downed the rest of your drink and turned your attention to him.

"Decided to give this joint a shot," he said, sipping his drink. "Might be my new favorite place after tonight."

"Oh?" You raised an eyebrow flirtatiously. Anakin took another sip of his drink, his darkened eyes locking onto yours the whole time. Another action of his that made your insides stir nicely. "Depends on the outcome for me to be certain, but I'm fairly confident," he turned to face you. "You know, I never planned on specializing in anything, but you're pretty special."

"Oh my God," you burst out laughing, "Those are awful, did you look them up online?" Anakin gave you a panty-dropping smirk, "Every single one, gorgeous." You turned your chair and your legs brushed against his. "I got one for you. I know you told me to eat more fruit, but I think I'll stay away from apples if it means you don't stay away," you delivered.

"Not bad," Anakin nodded, "I never told you what my area of expertise was." You motioned for him to continue, trying to match his mischievous nature, "Do enlighten me, Doctor."

"It’s genetics.”

You looked confused, waiting for the joke to make sense. Anakin smiled and leaned close to you. “You want to jump in my gene pool?”

You laughed so hard you had to cover your mouth as to not disturb the other patrons. Anakin laughed at your reaction and raised his eyebrows in a silent ask for an answer after you came down from your laughing fit. You bit your bottom lip, “That depends on what’s in it.”

Anakin reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers skimming your jaw as he retracted his hand. “I’ve been told it’s a pleasurable experience,” he said, “But those aren’t my words.”

“And how do I know if my DNA will mix well with yours?” You flirted, leaning closer, giving him a good angle to look down your shirt. His eyes flicked between your cleavage and your suggestive gaze. “You’ll have to come back to my place and find out,” he whispered.

You pretended to think about it before standing and leaning in to whisper in his ear. “So are you driving back to your place, or am I?” Anakin reached in his pocket and slammed some bills on the bar before grabbing your hand and leading your giggling self out of the building.

[worldwidemochiguy]

Angel (Yandere! Hoseok)

Summary: Hoseok is your best friend. You’ve gone through thick and thin together, he’s always been there for you. Sure, sometimes he’s a little over-affectionate, but its normal to be tactile with your friends, right? He’s very protective, but that’s just how all guys are with their female friends, right? And sometimes, he can get to where you are so quickly it’s like he was following you, but that’s just coincidence, right? Right?

Warnings: Yandere behaviour, drugging, weak reference of violence

Word Count: 2.5K

Masterlist :)

a/n: in response to an anon request for prompts 8 and 11 with hoseok. I hope you like it !! (also pls don’t let this get less notes than my other fics just bc its hobi bc come on guys he deserves more than that he’s our hope 🥺🥺)

8. “Look, this is for the best. You don’t understand now, but you will.”

11. “Let me see that pretty smile.”

Angel

 You sigh, slumping onto your couch, relieved to finally be back at home. You got a paper graded and returned to you today and… you haven’t done as well as you hoped you would. Sure, your grade is ok, but that almost makes it feel worse. It isn’t bad enough to complain about but it isn’t good enough for you to feel justified after spending all that time studying. Basically, you feel really shitty. But luckily, you happen to have the human personification of Sunshine as your best friend.

You pull your phone out, dialling his number and, as usual, he picks up after the first ring.

“Angel?” You smile when you hear his nickname for you. That’s what he has called you since the day you two met. At first, you found it a bit strange but by now you’ve grown used to his affectionate ways.

“Hobi!” You exclaim, already feeling better for talking to him, but he can still note a sense of remaining sadness. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” Another one of his nicknames for you. He really is the nicest person on Earth.

“I just-” you sigh, almost not wanting to tell him in case he thinks less of you. “Never mind. I feel better now I’m talking to you.”

“Angel,” Hobi coos down the phone, “I love talking to you too, but you really should tell me why you were sad. That way, I can help you fix it!” His phrasing, though joking, holds an inherent command in it. Hoseok has always been that way though, so you don’t really mind.

“I got my paper back and… I got a B.”

“That’s amazing, angel!” He immediately replies, and you pout, not realising he can’t see you through the phone.

“It’s not~” you whine, “It’s ok, sure, but I stayed up all night studying for that test! Don’t you remember?”

“Ah, yes.” Hoseok says, sounding nostalgic. “You drank like five cups of coffee and almost threw up. I did tell you your stomach was too delicate for that stuff, angel.” 

“That is besides the point! I just mean, I spent a lot of time preparing for that test and I still only got a B. I even thought I did really well after I wrote it.” Your voice becomes quieter towards the end, betraying your feelings of insecurity and disappointment. 

“Oh, angel,” Hoseok says quietly. “Don’t worry, I’ll fix it for you. I’ll fix everything.” 

“How can you do that?” You ask tiredly. A knock sounds at the door, and to your surprise, it’s Hoseok at the door with a box of Doughnuts. 

“With dangerous amounts of refined sugar.” He answers solemnly. You can’t help but fling yourself into his arms and laugh. 

~~~~

“…no, but-” You try to reply, spraying crumbs as you try to speak through your mouthful of doughnut. Your fingers are sticky with glazing and wildly articulating as you try to find your point. 

“My point is…!” You finally decide, and Hoseok drums his (also sticky) fingers on the coffee table to build suspense.

“My professor sucks!” You finally burst out. “He hates me! He always grades me harshly, even though the kid in front of me got an A, and he submitted one sheet! One sheet! He didn’t even use citations!” Hoseok is not displaying the appropriate outrage you believe your declaration merits. He doesn’t even look like he’s listening to you anymore, he’s laughing too hard to even breathe and his face has gone all red. You suddenly worry that he’s not getting enough air and lurch over the couch to reach him, ending up sprawled over his chest with your nose inches from his. 

He has been pushed onto his back, and you’re effectively pinning him down. His face is certainly a lot redder.

“Are you okay?” You whisper loudly. 

“I forgot what you’re like on a sugar high.” He mumbled. 

“Am I being annoying?”

“No,” Hoseok immediately replies, “You could never annoy me, angel.” His arm curls around you, keeping you where you are, and to be honest you don’t mind. Your best friend is a very comfortable pillow. You tell him as much, and his smug ‘thanks’ are the last words that chase you off to sleep. 

~~~~

“Wake up, angel.”

You open your sleep-crusted eyes to see your friend’s smiling face shining down on you. You scowl. Hoseok is the most obnoxious morning person.

“Be quiet. Sleep.” You mumble before burying your face in his chest again. You feel his hand run soothingly over your hair, petting you, and you let out a happy sigh. 

“I’m sorry, angel. I would love to just stay here like this all day, but you have class in an hour and you need to have time to properly wake up and have breakfast.” 

“Mmmh, no.” You mutter, stubbornly nuzzling your face into his collarbones. He lets out a sound resembling a groan and you freeze for a second, before reassuring yourself that you two are best friends and its normal to be tactile.

“Angel, you really aren’t giving me another choice here.” You hear Hobi say, and suddenly he’s twisting around beneath you and planting his feet on the floor, somehow rising to stand up with you in his arms. You let out a cross between a squawk and a scream, clinging to him desperately as he laughs. 

“Hoseok!” You yell, which only makes him laugh harder. “Put me down!” 

“I don’t know, angel.” He muses, “I might just carry you to class like this. Would you like that?”

“No!” You reply indignantly, “…I mean, at least take me to my room.”

“As my angel commands.” Hoseok smirks, doing as you ask.

You get changed into fresh clothes, and part of you wonders why Hoseok didn’t just wake you up after you fell asleep and tell you to go to bed. It can’t’ve been comfortable for him to lie on the couch all night with you on top of him. Also, how did he even get to your apartment so quickly? He doesn’t live anywhere near you, and you’re pretty sure he had no classes in the area yesterday. In the kitchen, you can hear him making breakfast so you decide to just ask him.

“Hey, Hobi?” You call as you leave your bedroom.

“Yes, angel?” You hear, coming into the kitchen to see Hoseok cooking something on the stove with an apron tied around his neck. He turns to greet you, and his eyes widen.

“Angel, you look beautiful today.” He compliments, and you blush like you always do when anyone says anything remotely nice about you. 

“Thanks, Hobi.”

“Anytime.” He sounds strangely sincere, and you remember what you were going to ask him.

“Hey, uh, how did you get here so quickly yesterday?”

“…huh?” He’s turned back to the food, and you can’t see his reaction.

“Yesterday? When I called you? You got here pretty quick, and you don’t live anywhere near me. And I’m pretty sure you had no classes around here?”

“…I had a meeting with a professor so I was in the area. I was kind of planning to drop by anyway.” 

“Oh.” You nod in understanding, missing the way Hoseok’s shoulders relax, just like you missed that obsessive gleam in his eyes when he saw you enter the kitchen. 

He watches you keenly as you cut out a piece of the omelette, so keenly that you laugh and put the fork down, feeling too embarrassed to eat while someone looks at you so intensely.

“What, you aren’t hungry?” Hoseok laughs, though you can detect an undercurrent of hurt in his words.

“No, you’re just… watching me like you’re expecting something to happen when I eat it. Have you put anything in this?” Hoseok gasps in mock outrage.

“Like I’d do anything to ever harm my angel!” He exclaimed, before shoving a forkful of the breakfast in his mouth, chewing quickly and swallowing. “See? Nothing wrong with it. Will you eat it now?” You laughed and nodded, starting to eat it as well and moaning at the taste. You see Hoseok stiffen out of the corner of your eye, but he relaxes after a second or two so you think nothing of it. Meanwhile, Hoseok can think of nothing but that sound you just made, and how he can get you to make it again, over and over until it’s the only thing he can hear. 

Two days later, your professor — the one that hates you — approaches you after class. 

“M-Miss Y/n L/n?”

“Yes, sir?”

“It appears I graded your paper incorrectly, you have achieved an A*. C-Congratulations.” You are so ecstatic you don’t notice how nervous the professor seems, his eyes continuously darting around him as if he’s scared someone will jump out and attack him. As if someone already has. 

You dial Hoseok’s number the second you leave the college building. As always, he picks up straight away.

“Hobi!” You squeal, excitement leaking through your voice, and you hear his warm laughter on the other side of the phone.

“Yes, angel?”

“I got an A*!!” You tell him and he gives a cheer, and you can just imagine him pressing the phone to his shoulder with his ear so that he can raise both his hands in celebration — Hoseok was just enthusiastic like that.

“See? I told you it would be ok!” 

“I know, I know, I should listen to you more often. Come to my place! I want to have a celebratory dinner.”

“Ok! I’ll be right there angel.”

“Bye Hobi!”

The second you get into your apartment, you are greeted by a squealing Hoseok with an armful of balloons. 

“Hoseok!” You yell in surprise as his arms encircle you tightly. “Where- how did you even have time to get balloons?” Hoseok grins sheepishly.

“Let’s just say… I predicted this celebration.” 

You shrug and move further into your apartment. Hoseok has set it all up for a dinner, complete with mood lighting and even a red velvet tablecloth so that the two of you could dine across from each other like you were at a real restaurant.

“Oh, Hobi!” You squeal, “I love it!” You run to him and throw your arms around him. Immediately your hug is reciprocated and he tucks you into his chest where you feel most safe. 

“I’ve laid out a dress for you on your bed, go and get changed while I set the table.” Hoseok instructs and you nod, doing so without protest. The dress he has laid out is beautiful, a short red silk slip covered by layers of delicate lace. You put it on and even take extra care with your hair and make up. It has been a while since you felt pretty, and you want to put the effort in tonight, even if you aren’t going out.

When you step out of your bedroom, you are greeted with the sight of Hoseok turned away from you, placing the cutlery on the table. He cleans up nice, wearing a fancy, fitted suit and you aren’t ashamed to say that, if he wasn’t your best friend, you’d climb him like a tree. He turns around when he hears the sound your heels make across the floor and, when he sees you, a brilliant smile spreads across his face.

“Angel,” he breathes, stretching a hand out to you, which you take. He guides you into your seat, pushing it in for you like a proper gentleman, causing you to giggle slightly. “You look… wow.”

“Thanks Hobi,” you blush, “you look wow too.”

He brings out the food, and it smells so mouth-watering that you don’t even waste a second before tucking in. Hoseok just sits there, seemingly content to watch you eat with a dreamy smile on his face.

“God, Hoseok,” you moan through a full mouth, “this tastes so good. How long did this take you?”

“Oh, only a couple of hours. It was nothing, I did it all for you, angel.” 

“You spent hours?” You gasped, “Hoseok, that’s so- I didn’t even call you until, like, an hour ago.” You pause, confused, but Hoseok doesn’t seem to mind.

“I know, but I knew that you would be getting the news of your grade today, and I knew you would want to celebrate with me, like you always do. You’re so adorably clingy, angel.”

You feel like you’re missing something. There is something very real and very important, but it just keeps slipping out of reach. Hoseok notices your grip on the stem of your wine glass loosen slightly, and he gently removes it from your lax grip so you don’t drop it.

“But… how did you know about the grade. Also-” You come across another realisation, “How did you even get into my apartment? I haven’t given you a key.”

“Oh, that was easy, angel. I just copied your key while you weren’t paying attention. Honestly, you’re so clueless. If I weren’t around to take care of you I don’t know what would happen to you.”

“Hoseok-” you slur, your head suddenly feeling incredibly heavy. He rises from his chair and moves over to your side just in time to allow you to slump against him. He gently guides you until you’re lying on the floor.

“As for knowing about your improved grade,” Hoseok continues, unperturbed, “I knew you had a class with that professor today, and after the threats I gave him, he was definitely going to tell you as soon as he could that your grade had changed. What a coward. It won’t be hard to get rid of him.”

“G-get…rid of him?” You mumble, with barely enough strength to part your lips. 

“Well, of course, angel! He can’t be going around with that kind of knowledge about what I can do. It would be a danger to both of us.” He explains in a condescending tone, hushing you when you try — and fail — to roll away from him. “Hush, angel, don’t struggle. I know you’re confused, but this is for the best. You don’t understand now, but you will.”

“W-What’d’you do to m-me?” You half-sob, tears leaking lazily out of your droopy eyes. He shushes you again, leaning in to place a kiss to your temples and brush away your tears. You only cry harder.

“It’s just a little sedative, angel. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt you. I would never hurt you, you know that, right? This is just for… ease of transfer.”

“Transfer?” You can barely keep your eyes open anymore, everything blurring and swirling in your vision. 

“Yes, I’m taking you to my home. Our home. You didn’t think I’d just let you go now that I finally have you, did you? Now, come on angel, don’t cry. Let me see that pretty smile.”

[wonderwomanfantasy]

I’m not your princess

I got like four requests for Jealous Sero so while this is smutty, not as jealous as It could have been. 

Sero x Reader 

Word count: 3,100 (about)

Warnings: Drinking, cursing, Smut

Summary: Sero Hanta has done It again! and by it, I mean accidentally fallen ass-backward into love and by again I mean this first time something like this has ever happened to him and he has no clue what he is doing please help. 

Sero wasn’t sure how he found himself here, mouthing at your neck and fumbling wit the top of your dress with one hand. Yesterday, he had just been your best friend now you were moaning his name and bucking your hips against his thigh. 

“Sero, Don’t stop please,” you breathed shakily, Sero obliged, digging his teeth into your soft skin earning him a shaky moan as your hips increased speed, dragging your wet panties along his muscular leg. 

“Who knew you had such a biting kink?” He chuckled lightly kissing the dark hickey he had just left. Normally you would snark back but you just jerked his head up planting his mouth on yours.  He slipped his tongue past your lips and pushed your dress down revealing more of your body to him. 

Sero had known something was wrong when you came to him in a blind panic only explaining that you had “fucked up and needed him to help fix it,”

“can you calm the fuck down?” He asked grabbing your shoulders to keep you from pacing. you took a deep breath and spoke

“So I lied to my coworkers and told them I had a boyfriend and I told them I would bring him to the next work party we have but I don’t have a boyfriend and-”  Sero cut you off before you could ramble. 

“So I’ll go with you,” He decided, realizing where this conversation was going. 

“Really? I didn’t expect you to cave so quickly,”

“So what? I would be your fake boyfriend for the night? That’s not so bad,” he shrugged, considering the idea

“or like for a week before we have a big dramatic brake up,” you amended. He thought about it and sighed. 

“Sounds like fun,” he agreed. It would be just like any other Gala the two of you would spend the night complaining about the fancy clothes and plotting your escape at the first opportunity to grab Taco Bell. 

except, everyone would assume the two of you were together, But Sero could deal with that. At least he thought he could. 

You were stunning in your slinky red satin dress. He had never seen a dress show so much of your back, legs, and chest all at the same time, while the ruffling fabric didn’t exactly cling to your curves, it did nothing to hide them. 

“quit staring you perve,” you snapped hitting his shoulder snapping him out of his own head.  he smiled and flicked your forehead in retaliation.

“As your fake boyfriend, I think I’m entitled to stare a little,” he teased slinging his arm around your waist and lead you to the waiting car and sliding in the back seat with you. you gave him a soft look, one that sent butterflies threw his stomach.

“Really Sero, thank you for doing this,” you said, Sero hated when you went soft on him like this, you were already stunning how was he supposed you handle you being so cute?

“It’s not a big deal- but you are definitely paying for dinner tonight, I mean look at you I’ll spend half the damn party keeping guys off of you,” he joked. you rolled your eyes and shoved him away from you. 

“who do you think I am? I don’t need my boyfriend, fake or otherwise, to save me from anyone!” you protested

“yeah but you like getting saved cus you’re a spoiled little princess-”

“Princess? oh I’ll show you whose a princess!”  

Of all the fights the two of you had gotten into, this one was by far the most complicated. The back seat of a town car didn’t provide for much mobility, and neither did the fancy clothes you were wearing, 

Sero had to be careful not to smudge your makeup and not undo the bowtie he had spent a good hour learning how to tie, while you worked hard not to let anything fall out of the skimpy dress you decided on wearing. In the end, Sero gave up letting you win. 

“Just wait until we get home Hanta and I’ll kick your ass for real,” you threatened, before getting distracted by a notification on your phone. Sero couldn’t help but smile a little. He was so completely whipped for you it wasn’t even funny. He loved how cute you looked when you were mad, He loved how you only got angrier when he let you win, he loved that you didn’t need to separate the idea of his home and yours. Sero knew that it was a bad idea to fall for your friends but he couldn’t help himself. 

He almost forgot that he was pretending to be your boyfriend by the time the car pulled to the stop outside of the venue. but then you slid over to him, taking his hand in yours. 

“remember you’re in love with me,” you mumbled as he opened the car door and helped you out, the dizzying flash of cameras all around you. 

“I’m In love with you,” he confirmed, hoping you would read into the words and see just how much he meant it. His hand fell to your waist pulling you close and you teasingly waved to the cameras as he walked you down the red carpet. Posing for pictures had always been his least favorite part of going pro, there wasn’t a part of him that could be described as graceful, but you seemed to be taking it in stride, he put his gaze on your lovely form and let a love stuck kind of smile appear on his face, charmingly goofy was his schtick and he would stick to it. hopefully the cameras would follow his lead and focus on you.

Once you were inside, things weren’t much better once you were inside the ballroom however. This was a work party for your agency, meaning he knew no one there but you. He felt a nervous pit of awkwardness form in his stoumach. He would have to prepare himself for a tense night of introductions and lame work stories. He dropped his arm but didn’t move from your side, you were his lone lifeline in this sea of strangers.

“you amaze me, I mean you can chase killers no problems but a room full of strangers turns you into a coward?” you teased elbowing him in the side, he just rolled his eyes

“at least I’m not afraid of spiders,” he teased back, snagging a flute of champagne off of a nearby tray. 

“well my coworkers don’t bite, I cannot say the same for the eight-legged bastards,” you pointed out grabbing your own glass. you held your drink aloft and he mimicked you

“Heres to getting out of here as soon as possible,” you proclaimed 

“To getting out of here!” the two of your clicked glasses and took a small drink, sealing the toast. 

“Right, Heres the plan: we say hi to everyone, listen to the award announcements then leave before they open up the dancefloor,” you decided, already dragging him to the first group of heroes. True to your word, none of your colleges bit him, but several of them recognized him. Sero had to admit, that stroked his ego quite a bit. overall, the conversations were quick but pleasant. He almost had a good time joking with and drinking champagne with strangers. It didn’t hurt that you spent the night clinging to his arm and bragging about what a great boyfriend he was, everyone seemed to buy it. Sero liked pretending like this, even if it would only be for tonight. 

So as the two approached the last group you had to greet, Sero was in high spirits. His first mistake. the group consisted of two women and one man, you seemed reluctant to great them, but you must have been getting tired, he didn’t blame you. 

The man, Naoki Jin, was bubbly, and a little too eggar to drag both of you into a needlessly long conversation. Jin also kept taking every opportunity to touch you, brushing his hand against your wrist to draw your attention, letting his fingers linger when he handed you a new champagne flute. Sero was pissed, to say the least, both as your best friend who secretly loved you and as your fake boyfriend. Who did he think he was, flirting with you while he was right there. 

Sero watched as your face grew redder as the flirting became more obvious. Sero had never liked it when other guys hit on you, but this was worse somehow. This slimeball was a part of your day to day life, saw more often then Sero ever would. 

Sero pushed you subtly behind him, letting you cling to his arm shyly. while you were normally loud and rambunctious, you always got quiet and nervous when you were a little buzzed.  

“can you stop hitting on my girlfriend?” Sero sighed, His word lacked all bite, the word girlfriend fumbling awkwardly off his lips. Jin smirked and tried to hook a finger under your chin, but missed snagging nothing but air. 

“Awe she doesn’t mind, do you Cutie?” he slurred, clearly a little drunk himself. you recoiled, hiding behind Sero. 

“besides I could show you a way better time than this jackass,” Jin laughed before turning his attention to Sero.

“I mean, no offense my man but if I had such a hot piece of ass on my arm all night I would have taken her home by now, you haven’t even kissed her, what kind of man are you?” he joked poking Sero in the shoulder roughly. 

“Just because I’m not making out with her 24/7 doesn-” Sero tried but Jin clearly wasn’t buying it  

“well if you’re really with her just kiss her,”  Jin pushed. Sero could feel his face flush and opened his mouth to keep protesting but he was muffled by a pair of ruby lips melding against his. He almost choked, If he was being honest, he had sort of forgotten that you were hiding behind him.  

your lips were so soft and warm, Sero had imagined them countless times, but the real thing was infinitely better. You tasted like mint and alcohol and you were kissing him so passionately he almost forgot that you weren’t really his girlfriend. Still, he couldn’t help but melt into your embrace slightly. He enjoyed the kiss for the short time it lasted. When you did pull away he had to stop himself from diving back into kiss you again.

“geese now I have wash my face,” Sero scoffed trying to sound casual. He shot jin a death glare and carefully maneuvered you away. you quietly handed him wipe from your purse letting him scrub away the red mark you had left on his mouth. 

“I’m sorry Sero I don’t know what I was thinking-” he turned to look at you and saw you were close to tears. He quickly moved to comfort you, cupping your cheek and shushing you quietly. 

“oh come on don’t cry, it’s okay,” he whispered to no avail, thick beads of water gathered in the corners of your eyes before spilling over onto your cheeks. the tears quickly turned black as they caught your mascara. 

“You know this is a real emergency,” he sighed, switching into a playful tone of voice “and as the 15th highest ranked hero It is my job to rescue you,” he teased. you sniffled looking up at him, almost like you were waiting for him to save you. He started pulling you towards the exit not caring that you were leaving embarrassingly early. 

“let's get the hell out of here and get some tacos,” he joked sneakily pulling you out of the back door. 

The two of you did your best to sneak out, avoiding photographers to the best of your abilities but the combination of alcohol and your heels made it difficult to walk in a straight line, let alone walk stealthily, but somehow the two of you managed to slink into the waiting car. 

Sero rubbed his palms over your arms smoothing over the goosebumps that had formed. 

“Better?” he asked, you nodded and wiped away the last of your tears. 

“You really aren’t mad?” you asked again, 

“Nah why would I be mad? I got to kiss a beautiful girl,” he teased elbowing you in the side. The car was dark, and he couldn’t make out all your features, but he could clearly see the blush that spread across your face. 

“Then, would you mind it if I kissed you again?” you mumbled fumbling with your fingers. Sero wasn’t sure what emotion he was supposed to feel when the love of his life asked to kiss him. But he was overcome by a sense of calm as he leaned in, cupping your face and guiding your crimson lips back to his.

Now here he was, crashing threw his apartment, kissing you, and cupping your tits. You gripped his shoulders tightly,  moaning as he sucked your collarbone. 

“imma make you feel so good baby,” he groaned pulling on your nipple before kissing the globes of your breasts. you wiggled beneath him, trying and failing to unzip the red dress that only seemed to hinder your movements. you were impatient to be naked, all too eager for Sero to have his way with you.   

“H-Hanta dress,” you whimpered

“you want it off sweetheart?” He asked flicking his dark eyes up at yours. you bit your lip and nodded. In a flash the garment was discarded. 

“no bra? that's a bold move,” He laughed examining your bare chest. 

“S-Shut Up the dress wasn’t made for a bra,” you defended weakly, crossing your arms over your chest, hiding your breasts from view. 

“Come on baby Don’t hide,”  Sero groaned lowly running his hands down from your ribcage to your hips feeling your warm skin under his hands.

“I’m sorry for teasing, let me make it up to you, yeah?” he asked and hooked his hands under your knees spreading your legs. He could see the damp patch forming on your underwear as he stared at your thinly valid crotch. 

“Can I eat you out?” he asked, biting the inside of your thighs making you jerk, your legs clamping around his head. 

“yes, p-please,” you whimpered shamelessly. Sero pushed your panties to the side, running his tongue over your lips before nuzzling deeper into your folds pushing his tongue inside of you. His strong hands pushed your thighs apart keeping you from locking your legs around his head. instead, you settled for raking your fingers through his thick black hair pulling him into place. 

You moaned his name as you rolled your hips against his face. Sero took it stride, matching your pace. Sero dug further into your pussy with his tongue, eggar to devour you. You looked so beautiful dissolving in pleasure beneath him, He had imagined you like this countless times but none of his perverted fantasies held a candle to the real thing. 

Sero sat back on his knees, whipping your cum off oh his mouth with the back of his hand. you jerked up and started working off his suit jacket before tugging on his tie. He snorted and moved to help you take off his shirt. 

“awe is someone feeling needy, Princess?” he teased, you playfully socked him in the shoulder 

“I’m going to kick your ass Sero,”  you scowled

“fine, but can we at least fuck first?” asked pulling you close. you straddled his lap and undid his belt slowly, a drastic change from need wich you had ripped off all his other clothes. 

“I’ll consider it,” you teased running your hands over his lap feeling his har cock strain against his silky trousers. Sero bit his lower lip his thighs shuddering as you stroked him.  

“you trying to make cum in my pants princess?”  he asked gripping both of your wrists harshly stopping your motion. you smirked 

“Dunno I think that would be kinda funny don’t you?” you asked. Sero rolled his eyes and tossed you off of his lap on to the bed. You stripped off your remaining article of clothing as he jerked his own pants off. 

“you really need to shut up,” he muttered spreading your legs again, you kissed his neck smearing your red lipstick across his skin. there was something beautiful about the streak of color, you smiled against his skin already deciding to mark his entire skin like that. 

“Are you sure this is okay?” Sero asked nervously.  

“Yes, I want you Sero,”  you confirmed pulling him closer and kissing him gently. he teased your folds with the head of his cock before pushing into you.

“f-fuck,” he hissed feeling your tight walls fluttering around him. He focused on his breathing you focused on his jaw, leaving red kiss marks on his skin. “I’m going to move now,” he purred, slowly regaining his confidence, as his hips drew back. 

“You’ve got such a good cunt Princess, you’re squeezing my cock so nicely,” he praised, instantly your face flushed and you couldn’t help but tighten around him as he bucked his length in and out of you, a fact Sero didn’t miss. 

“you like that huh? Princess has a praise kink?” he teased. 

“S-Shut up,” you yelped, but you were too cute to not tease. a river of dirty talk flowed from Sero’s lips as he fucked into you. how good you felt, how beautiful you were how hard he was going to make you cum. 

“Hanta I’m going to cum-” you whimpered sinking your teeth into your bottom lip. he reached down and rubbed your clit making you jerk. 

“I’m right there with you baby,” he grunted, his thrusts became more erratic and stilted. your nails raked down his back leaving angry red lines along his back. you called his name a final time as your orgasm crashed through your body, you were still shaking when Sero pulled out his cock, twitching with need. He trailed his hand over his own length, paying close attention to the tip of his length. He was ready to burst and spill his seed over your stoumach when you moved faster than lightning tackling him and almost knocking him off the bed. 

“My turn to treat you, Princess,” you purred licking your own wetness off his shaft before swallowing his cock fully. It only took a few bobs of your head for him to come undone in your mouth. You greedily sucked his cock drinking down his seed as it filled your mouth. 

“You really are dirty girl huh?” he laughed tugging your hair to get you off. you snickered and shoved his shoulder falling back onto the bed, Sero staid hovering above you for a moment more, enjoying the afterglow that seemed to incase you at that very moment. He wondered if the two of you would just go back to just being friends, now way right? Sero laid beside you and pulled you into his arms, and obviously and purposefully romantic gesture. 

Like everything, you took it in stride, pulling his arms tighter around your middle and melting against his chest. It was a comfortable, if not a little messy, embrace. 

“We should probably wash up,” you sighed craning your neck to look at him,

“you’re probably right,” He sighed 

“Okay here's the plan: we shower, I’ll steal some of your clothes, we get food, watch a movie and maybe go for round two depending and I spend the night,” you proclaimed. Sero couldn’t help but beam, 

“Sounds like a plan, Princess,”

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Pain of Healing:  Chapter 2

 Contrary to his expectations, Daisuke slept fairly well, even with the way his stomach growled and he wanted something to drink so very badly.  He thought later it would have been better if he'd been at home and had Chibimon snuggling up next to him.  But for being collared by his apparently out of his mind soulmate, being here against his will, and having to sleep on a comfortable futon instead of in his own room at home, he actually slept well.  He didn't notice any bad dreams if he had them, and woke up at the sound of Kaiser moving around.

He didn't get up just yet.  He opened his eyes and watched as Kaiser prepared for his day, entering the bathroom and coming out some time later in his full garb, a very pleased look on his face when he turned towards Daisuke.  That look made Daisuke watch carefully.  His stomach rumbled fiercely and he winced as Kaiser smirked.

"Good morning, my soulmate."  Kaiser purred as he strolled over to stare down at Daisuke, who started to scramble to his feet at a gesture.  "Did you sleep well?"

It had only been a few hours, but Daisuke already knew what Kaiser wanted from him.  It had been rather thoroughly hammered into him the day before by V-mon being taken from him.  He swallowed and forced himself to be polite instead of raging.  Raging wasn't going to do anything but get V-mon hurt.  That was his partner.  He couldn't do it.

"Yes, but I'm hungry."  He wasn't surprised at all to see Kaiser's eyebrow quirk up ever so slightly.  With a deep breath he forced out the last word.  "Master."  That tasted so wrong on his tongue.  But it was what he had to do.

Kaiser nodded in pleasure.  "Yes, I expect so.  Do you regret what you did yesterday?"

Truth to tell, Daisuke wasn't even sure anymore of what he'd done to get Kaiser so angry at him.  He'd not bowed down to him at once, but that couldn't be it, could it?  It was all he could think of and while he didn't regret it, he also did regret what came from it - the threat to V-mon, the fact that he hadn't eaten or drunk in hours and he could hear that in his voice.  He managed to speak, but his voice was dry and he knew he'd do whatever Kaiser wanted to get a meal.  And a drink.  Oh, he wanted to have a drink so very much and he'd call Kaiser anything he wanted for that.

So he nodded quickly, not quite trusting his voice to keep on speaking.  Kaiser chuckled at him..  "Let's see how long that lasts when you're eating. Come with me."

Daisuke followed as quickly as he could, looking forward to having some breakfast.  He settled down on the cushion at the Kaiser's feet without a protest this time, not even needing the Kaiser's gesture to do so.  He knew if he tried to resist, Kaiser would simply forbid him food for another day.  He told himself, just as he had the night before, that he would do this only because he needed the food.  If it weren't for that, then he wouldn't give in even this little bit.  Kaiser made it clear that he didn't have that option.

Enslaved Digimon brought out breakfast, which was traditional steamed rice, grilled fish, pickles, miso soup, and seaweed.  Whoever cooked was really good at this.  Wormmon settled near the Kaiser himself, looking ready to do anything, and Daisuke suspected he didn't want to be doing any of this.  Just the way those large blue eyes stared at Kaiser, with tiny flicks towards Daisuke, said everything that Daisuke needed to know about that.  He wished he could talk to Wormmon, but that wasn't going to be an option right now, not with Kaiser watching over him like the proverbial hawk.

Kaiser ate swiftly.  He didn't give Daisuke a morsel until he'd finished his own share of the meal, then slowly fed Daisuke by hand, each little bit set in his mouth.  Daisuke wasn't going to complain about that.  If it had been up to him, he would have cleared off the whole plate in seconds.  Knowing Kaiser, that would probably just piss him off even more.

So Daisuke dealt with being hand-fed as if he were a dog of some kind by thinking about V-mon and hoping that he was all right.  He didn't ask until they were done eating and heading into the control room.

"V-mon's fine,"  Kaiser dismissed the question with a wave of one hand.  "He was fed with everyone else this morning and no, he doesn't have a Ring on him.  Remember, as long as you don't get me angry, he won't."

Using V-mon for Daisuke's good behavior.  Daisuke ground his teeth together and plastered a fake look of blandness on his face.  It didn't feel right doing so.  What he really wanted was to take his partner and go home.  Soulmate or no soulmate; that didn't matter right now.  He would have happily existed far away from Kaiser.

Only that would also mean leaving the other Digimon in this world to their fate with him, and while Daisuke wasn't the sort to think that he alone could free them, he wanted to be sure that they were freed. 

The more he thought about it, though, the more a potential idea flickered at him.  It wasn't much and he had no idea at all if he could pull it off.  He didn't have any real backup unless he could somehow get V-mon back and he didn't know if V-mon would agree with him.  There were so many things that could go wrong - like if the Kaiser found out what he was doing.

A core of solid steel that Daisuke had scarcely even known was there hardened itself.  I don't care.  He's doing everything wrong and he either doesn't know it or he doesn't care.  Someone's got to stop him.  That's not just why I'm a Chosen - it's why we're soulmates.  No matter what he thinks.

The Kaiser - Ichijouji Ken - needed someone who could show him the right way.  Daisuke determined that he would be that person.  He didn't have the faintest idea of how he'd do it or even if it could be done.  The Kaiser might be way too far gone for it to work.  But he had to try.  He had to make the effort, no matter what it cost to himself.

So for right now, that effort involved learning about him, and the only way to really do that was to stay right where he was.  He didn't enjoy it.  He had to wonder what calling this jerk "Master" was going to do to him.  If Kaiser got annoyed because of anything Daisuke did, he'd not only not be allowed to eat, but he'd risk getting V-mon Ringed.

There were so many things that could go wrong, but Daisuke wasn't going to give up.  He wanted to go home.  There would just be a very long road to get there.

Kaiser settled into his chair and started work on the next phase of his plans.  He would have to return to Earth at some point today and get things sorted out there.  He did intend to set up matters so it would look as if he and Daisuke ran away together.  It wasn't unknown, even for people of their age.  Usually those who were underage came back after a few weeks or months.  Sometimes it was seen as completely understandable, soulmates needing time together to adjust to this new facet of their lives.  He'd always rather scoffed at the concept, but now it turned out to be far more useful than he'd originally thought.

Putting a Ring on V-mon wouldn't be in his best interests, no matter how willing he was to threaten to do so to keep Daisuke under control.  He suspected that it wouldn't work forever, either.  Daisuke was a stubborn soul, and while that mostly annoyed him, there was a small part of him that found it intriguing.  He did his best not to pay attention to that fact for now.  He would squash the rebelliousness out of Daisuke.  He'd already made significant inroads on that.  Hunger and thirst were very fine tools in his arsenal.

For now, he had other plans to work on.  Once he got everything set up for their disappearance, it would be time to deal with the Chosen themselves.  He didn't doubt for a second that Daisuke had told them that he and Ichijouji Ken were soulmates, which meant if Daisuke vanished and then reappeared in the Digital World with the Kaiser, then they could easily figure out what was going on.  Best to reveal it in his preferred fashion.

That would involve Daisuke as well.  He would take that carefully.  First came setting up their 'running away'.  He decided a note would do, as well as packing a few clothes.  He didn't want to take any of his school uniforms - he rather hated how drab and gray they were.  He wasn't much invested in fashion, but he knew they could do so much better.  Uniforms didn't need to be so boring. 

He wrote the note quickly and to the point.  Motomiya Daisuke is my soulmate.  We are leaving to deal with this.  Good-bye.  If he'd done this other circumstances, he would have tossed in an insult to the tune of 'insects', since he had no intentions of ever returning.  It wouldn't matter if he cut all those ties.  It didn't matter now but if they thought he was just off with Daisuke, then there wouldn't be as big of a search for them.  He personally didn't care one way or the other, but this way would ensure that the Chosen wouldn't be able to reveal any secrets that he didn't want them to.

Would he be your soulmate if the Digital World were nothing but a game?  The question ghosted around in the back of his mind and Kaiser promptly ignored it.  Of course he would.  The game's existence didn't have anything to do with human reality, and he and Daisuke were both humans. 

With that safely out of the way, he passed a piece of paper and a pen to Daisuke.  "Write a note,"  he ordered.  "It's to your parents, informing them that you are running away with me.  Don't give an expected time of return or a way to contact you."

He enjoyed the very annoyed look in Daisuke's eyes as the other accepted the paper and started writing.  He suspected Daisuke wanted to revolt against him.  Anyone would, after all.  But as long as Daisuke behaved himself, Kaiser would be pleased.  Eventually that obedience from fear would become obedience because Kaiser was right and Daisuke wanted to support him.

It would take time but Kaiser had a lot of that.

Once Daisuke finished the note, Kaiser checked it out for any hidden messages - not that he thought Daisuke would actually be able to sneak one in but he hadn't gotten as far as he had without being suspicious of everything - and then gestured to Daisuke as he picked up his Dark Digivice.  The other stood up, clearly confused, as Kaiser quickly arranged a portal on the main screen.  He wrapped one hand around Daisuke's wrist and sent the two of them through the gateway.  

They were in his bedroom on the other side in moments.  The apartment was silent - Kaiser had timed this visit carefully, so that they arrived when both of his parents were at work.  Technically he should have been at school.  He wasn't ever going back there.  Instead, he pointed Daisuke to the dresser.

"Get out three outfits.  Anything that's not a uniform.  Put them in the bag."  He pointed to the closet.  "Then just wait for me.  This won't take long."

Daisuke got to work on that.  Kaiser made a mental note to arrange a mild reward for him for his obedience.  But that would come later.  For now, he darted outside and set the note on the table in the living room.  His parents would see that when they came home from work. 

Then he headed back into the room, pleased to see that Daisuke had followed his orders.  Those weren't his favorite clothes by any means - his favorite was the Kaiser outfit - but these would do to cover up the fact he didn't intend to return.  Then he downloaded the two of them back to the fortress, and rearranged the gate once more.

"Now where are we going?"  Daisuke wanted to know, dropping the bag in the corner Kaiser indicated while he worked.

"Where do you think?  We're going to leave that for your family,"  Kaiser replied, gesturing to Daisuke's note.  He smirked.  "Then it's time to arrange a little meeting with the Chosen."

Daisuke tensed up at once.  "What do you mean, a little meeting?"

"Oh, you'll see.  I told you that they're going to know that you're with me."  Kaiser smirked in satisfaction before once again heading through the gateway.  He much preferred associating with a human than with Wormmon.  Wormmon simply couldn't do anything useful beyond bring meals.  At least Daisuke could do something other than insist Kaiser should be a good boy.  And if Daisuke weren't his soulmate, he wouldn't have even been useful for that.

Kaiser glanced around the room, his lip curling before he shook his head, then gestured to Daisuke.  "Go put that somewhere they'll find it, then get back here and get your clothes and whatever else you would take with you.  Hurry up."

Daisuke pressed his lips together and hurried out of his room.  It was the wrong time of day for his parents or Jun to be there, so all he could do was set the note on the refrigerator in the kitchen and go back to his room.  The ever present threat to V-mon's well-being hung in the back of his head.  He had to keep reminding himself that the Kaiser would do horrible things to him if Daisuke didn't do as he was told.  That didn't make it any easier, not even when he considered this part of his plan to eventually change Kaiser.

He cast quick glances all around the apartment.  He didn't know how long it would be until he saw it again.

If it wasn't for that whole world-conquering thing, I think I'd like to run away with him.  Running away with your soulmate - he'd thought about it a few times before actually meeting his soulmate.  There were so many movies made about soulmates who ran away together and one of his favorite manga series involved two people who weren't soulmates but wanted to be so pretended they were - and all signs were they actually were, just with one of the rare signs.

But now that he was dealing with it personally?  Daisuke didn't think running away was all that great.  Especially since he wasn't so much running away as he'd been lured in and then not allowed to leave.

"Don't waste time."  Kaiser ordered, standing in the doorway of his room.  Daisuke bit back a sigh and started back in, grabbing some of his favorite outfits and looking around for any keepsakes.  He found one that he wanted - the cushion that V-mon liked to sleep on.  He looked over at Kaiser.

"This is V-mon's.  Can I give it to him?"  He couldn't shake the feeling the answer would be no.  Kaiser wasn't a giving sort of person.

But the other regarded him thoughtfully before nodding slightly.  "You'll have to earn being able to give it to him.  Working with me on my plan for the Chosen will do that.  Do everything you're told and I'll allow it."

Daisuke didn't hesitate for a moment.  He stuffed the pillow into his bag and made sure there wasn't anything else he wanted before presenting himself to head back to the Digital World.  Kaiser nodded in approval and Daisuke tried not to feel too good about that. Most people didn't tell him that he'd done something good and well -

Kaiser brought them both back through the portal.  Daisuke gladly sank down onto the cushion, breathing in deeply.  Traveling quickly like that got him a lot more tired than usual.  He wondered if that had anything to do with the Kaiser's Dark Digivice as compared to their own.  He also wanted to get his D-Terminal back so he could send a real message to the others and let them know what was going on.  He didn't want to let them find it out from Kaiser. 

He didn't even want to think about what Kaiser had in mind how to spend the rest of the afternoon.  It wouldn't be anything good at all.  But to have even a chance of giving the pillow to V-mon, he'd have to go along with it.  Working with Kaiser kept V-mon safe but put other Digimon at risk.  Not working with him meant V-mon would suffer for it.  This wasn't how being soulmates was supposed to work.  He'd find a way through all of this, no matter how long it took.

But for now, he watched as Kaiser worked at his keyboard again, various images of areas he didn't recognize and Digimon he'd never seen before popped up.  Kaiser appeared not to approve of most of those and kept on whittling down his choices.  Daisuke finally ventured a question.

"What exactly are you looking for?"  He wasn't sure if he wanted to know so he could suggest something or so he could find a way to stop it.  Everything was so complicated and he didn't like that.  Complicated things got so complicated and he couldn't keep track of them all. 

"Three powerful Digimon.  Preferably of the Perfect level."  Kaiser didn't look at him, but Daisuke thought he sounded annoyed.  He wasn't sure why but he thought it was because finding Digimon that strong wasn't easy. 

Daisuke worried at his lip, then shook his head.  He didn't know any Perfect level Digimon.  He'd hardly known that Perfect Digimon even existed, at least not until they'd encountered Andromon.  Hikari-chan had mentioned that he was a Perfect level and there would be others.  But he not only didn't want Kaiser to have strong slaves, but even if he had, he didn't know where they could be found.  From what he'd seen, most Digimon seemed to be very young and very small.  The ones who weren't stuck together in herds or packs or something, with a small handful of villages or even towns gathered together.  The longer the Kaiser's reign went on, the fewer of those areas they were.

Kaiser didn't seem to expect him to help make the decision.  So Daisuke watched as Kaiser winnowed through the options before him, finally selecting one Perfect and half a dozen Adult levels.  Clearly they weren't exactly what he wanted but they were what he had to work with for the moment.  He selected an area and sent them all there, arranging them like pieces on a gaming board.  Once he had them in place, he turned towards Daisuke.

"Are you ready?"

To Be Continued

Notes: Next week we finish this up! Hope you’re looking forward to it as much as I am.

[viktorrotkiv]

Every Single Flavor of Feeling

Hey @impossiblyizzy ​, here is my gift to you for the @b99fandomevents​ Summer 2021 Fic Exchange.

I picked the prompt “A coffee shop AU revolving around the impending closing of the coffee shop - can include a ship if you want but I’m always happy just seeing the squad as friends!” I played around with the prompt slightly, really hope you don’t mind <3

Rating: G

Words: 2.6k

Read on AO3

Jake crossed the street towards the coffee shop, a piece of paper in his hands, looking glum. Gina watched him from behind the counter, polishing mugs in preparation for the shop opening in forty minutes.

Jake was late, as usual. They were both supposed to be there an hour before opening time. But as he pushed the door open, sending the bell dinging, he looked too sad to reprimand. “Hey, G.”

“Hey, Jake.” Gina warily put the mug down. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” Jake looked around the shop helplessly, his gaze blank. “Um, what do you need me to do?”

Gina decided not to push him. Jake always talked eventually. “You can turn everything on.”

Jake lumbered around the shop, preheating the ovens for the frozen pastries they made each morning, turning on the coffee machines and the milk frother, setting up the AC.

*

Forty-five minutes later, Gina and Jake shared their mandatory start-of-work cinnamon bun. Stuffing the last sticky bite into his mouth, Jake seemed somewhat cheered up.

“So…” Gina picked at her half of the pastry, savoring it. “Are you going to tell me what that is?” She pointed at the paper Jake had been holding, just visible over the side of his bag.

Jake took a big breath. “Yeah, I guess I should. I, uh…”

The bell dinged again, signaling the first customer’s arrival.

“Later, then. I promise.” Jake put on his cheerful customer face and manned the register.

*

At the end of every shift they had together, Jake and Gina tossed a coin to decide who would do the good part of cleanup and who got the bad parts. Mopping the floors and wiping the table was of course on the good list, since you could pretend the mop was a microphone and dance around. Cleaning the ovens and coffee machines was bad, since you had to crouch and sometimes your clothes got dirty.

Today, Gina was slightly happy that she got the bad chores. Two minutes sliding around on the wet floors and Jake’s mood would be improved. By the time he got to the tables, he would talk.

“G.” She was right. Jake cleared his throat before continuing. “I have some news. I, uh, I passed the last of the tests. I graduate from the police academy next week.”

Gina straightened up so fast that she banged her head against the oven’s ceiling, but she was so excited she could hardly feel it. “That’s amazing! Jake! Why have you been moping around all day?”

Jake had his back to her, so she couldn’t see his face, but she could hear his voice breaking. “It’s just… It’s the first thing we’re not doing together since… since gym classes were separated into boys and girls in middle school. Remember how devastated we were? And this is so much bigger.” He sniffled. “G, we’ve done everything together. Elementary school, middle school, high school, now this job. I went through the police academy alone, but I still saw you here all the time. What am I supposed to do without you?” He finally turned to look at her, eyes wet.

Gina dropped everything she was holding and ran to hug Jake, banging her ribs against the counter in her urgency. “Jakey, who knew you were so sweet and sentimental?”

“Ew. No. No, Gina, get off of me. You’re covered in oven gunk! Gina!” Jake leaped back and crashed into a table. Rubbing his lower back, he glowered at Gina, but he couldn’t stay mad at her for long.

Gina took a step back and adopted a rare serious expression. “You’ll be fine. You’re one of the smartest, bravest, best people I know.” Her gaze turned mischievous. “And I know a lot of people. Because actually the first thing we didn’t do together was me being popular in high school, and you weren’t. And you got through that.”

“Hey! Not nice.” Jake punched her shoulder half-heartedly, but he was clearly touched. “Thanks, Gina. But it’s still going to be sad leaving you.”

“I got an idea.”

“Why do you have an extra evil spark of joy in your eyes?”

“We are going to pull the best, grandest, most fuck-with-their-minds pranks you have ever seen before you leave.”

Jake’s eyes lit up with a similar passion. “Let’s brainstorm most prank-able coworkers.”

*

The first prank didn’t go as planned.

Gina kicked Jake behind the counter. “Here he comes,” she hissed.

“Yes, Gina, I can see that. I am also facing the door.” Jake turned back towards the entrance. “Hey, Mike! I just made us some coffee before the customers start coming in. Do you want anything?”

Mike was a little bit confused, but not enough to raise suspicion. Sure, Gina and Jake mostly only spoke to each other, but they were nice enough when they needed to talk to him. “Um, yeah, thanks. I’ll just take a cappuccino.”

“Cool. Cool cool cool. Um, unrelated, can you please go tidy the back room?”

With Mike definitively out of sight, Jake proceeded to pour a shot of every single flavor in the shop into his cup. “Gina, he’s not allergic to anything, right?”

“Who cares?”

“Gina!”

“Fine, yeah, I looked at his personnel file. He’s not allergic to anything. Ooh, but I heard him say he hates blueberries, pump in a bunch of that.”

Jake finished making the coffee and went to find Mike in the back room. “Here, this is yours.”

“Thanks, Jake.” Mike sipped. “Mm. I love having coffee this early in the morning.”

“Notice anything… special?” Jake glanced back at Gina, who shrugged.

“No. Not really. It’s really good.”

“Oh. That’s, uh, great. I was worried because the… uh… milk is almost expired. Glad to hear that it’s not.” Jake backed out of the room slowly and looked at Gina, bewildered.

Gina whispered, “What did you do?”

“Nothing! It had every single possible flavor in the shop! It should taste gross! Way too sweet and completely mismatched.” Jake glanced towards the back room. “We’ve gotta taste that.”

Gina nodded. “Hey, Mike, can you help me with the oven?” She glanced at Jake and waved her hand at him. “Scram!”

Mike emerged from the back room, holding his coffee. “Sure. What do you need?”

“These trays are too heavy for me to put in by myself. Here, take this side.”

“Sure.” Mike placed his coffee on the counter and bent down to help Gina. He didn’t notice Jake sneaking back in from the bathroom and picking up his coffee. Jake sniffed it, shrugged, and took a sip. His look of surprise almost made Gina drop her side of the tray.

“Thanks, Mike.”

“Sure thing, Gina. Oh, Jake, you almost gave me a heart attack. Didn’t see you there.” Mike picked up the coffee and walked away.

Gina motioned for Jake to come closer. “So?”

“It was so disappointing. All the flavors cancel each other out and it just tastes like regular coffee.”

Gina started giggling, which soon turned into full-on stomach-hurting, tear-bringing laughter. “I mean, that wasn’t the plan at all, but you’ve gotta admit that’s kind of hilarious.”

Jake started laughing too, mostly at Gina’s amusement. “I guess. “But, oh, I was so looking forward to seeing his face when he took that first disgusting sip…”

*

The second prank was much more successful.

A few days later, in the middle of a shift, Gina pulled Jake aside. “I have our next idea. So, you know how Tina is always talking about how she can’t live without caffeine, but every Thursday she makes herself a decaf at the end of her shift.”

“Of course I know! It’s the biggest mystery ever. I’ve been dying to ask her for months, but she’s such a bitch.”

“Well, I figured it out.” Gina smiled very smugly. “Every Thursday, her boyfriend asks her to hang out with his boring friends. And she tells him she’s too tired from work. And since she doesn’t get her outrageous amount of caffeine on Thursdays, she falls asleep on the couch, and he has no choice but to let her stay home.”

“Hold on, how do you know all of this?”

“Yesterday she complained to me about how her boyfriend only does boring things, and then she made me follow her puppy’s Instagram account. Her boyfriend comments on almost every post, and since he’s insanely hot, I started following him. Every Thursday he posts a super embarrassing picture of her drooling on the couch, captioned something sappy like ‘my adorable girlfriend works so hard!’, and an hour later—”

“Aww, that’s actually sweet.”

“It’s disgusting, Jake. Anyway, around an hour later he always starts posting pictures with his friends at the least Tina-like places ever. Sports bars, bowling alleys, restaurants that only serve fried chicken, no wonder she never wants to go out with him.”

Jake’s eyes lit up with understanding. “So tomorrow…”

“We’re going to graciously offer to make her coffee.”

“And not use decaf.”

“And she won’t fall asleep embarrassingly early for a grown woman.”

“And then she won’t have any excuse not to hang out with her super boring boyfriend.”

“You got it, Jake!”

“You’re a genius, Gina.”

*

“You okay, Tina?” Jake was behind the counter, and his coworker was clearly getting ready to leave.

“Oh, yeah, I’m okay. I was just going to make myself a coffee and, uh... leave.” She wasn’t really sure why Jake was talking to her.

“Oh, I could make it for you. I’m already on coffee duty.”

“Really?” Tina smiled absentmindedly. “Um, yeah, thanks. Decaf.”

“I know.” Jake turned to Gina, who was restocking the pastry display, and gave her a ridiculously exaggerated wink. She shot him a look that clearly meant, ‘Calm the fuck down.’

Tina was thankfully distracted on her phone, and Jake made her coffee with no hitches, sending her on her way with a cheerful “Good day!” and getting a confused and slightly snarky look in return, as if she had somehow tricked him into making her a drink.

“Now we wait.”

“Woah, G, don’t sneak up on me like that. But yes. Now we cross our fingers and wait.”

*

“Jake!” The next morning, Gina burst into the shop waving her phone excitedly. “Jake, it worked! Look!”

She held her phone uncomfortably close to Jake’s face, but he could clearly make out a picture of a group of guys at a dark and sticky bar, all smiling goofy grins and drinking the most boring beer brands. And, smack dab in the middle of the group, Tina, grimacing.

“It worked!” Jake’s eyes lit up.

“I know! That’s what I said. And guess what! She just called me and said she was going to be late and asked if I could cover for her– because she has a massive hangover. She started telling me how you must be too dumb to find the decaf coffee because she had clearly asked for it. It was hilarious.”

Jake grinned. “Well, I can stand being called stupid by Tina, of all people. Especially since I’ll be gone soon.” He seemed to realize what he had just said and drooped slightly.

“We’re in denial, Jake. Denial. Now go back to work.”

*

The third and final prank was the most preposterous, and arguably the meanest.

A week before Jake was supposed to leave, he and Gina noticed that one of their coworkers, Brian, only had shifts with either one or both of them for the entire week.

“We’re going to pretend we don’t know him. At all. Be confused when he comes in, be baffled when he goes behind the counter. Eventually concede and let him help out, but don’t acknowledge that he’s always worked here.”

“Gina, that’s insane.” Jake was seriously worried about whatever hellscape Gina was going to put their coworkers through when he left.

“Fine. Then we’ll just convince him everyone else was fired and it’s going to be the three of us from now on.”

Jake considered this. “Okay. But if he threatens to quit or anything I’m going to tell him the truth.”

“Gosh, you’re boring. But fine.”

*

“Hey, Brian. How are you dealing with everything?”

“Hey, Jake! What everything?”

Jake tried to keep hold of his serious expression and kept on cleaning the counter. “You know. It’s going to be so much busier now.”

Brian put his bag down tentatively on a chair and started putting on his apron. “Why?”

Jake stared at him. “You’re joking, right? It’s just us and Gina now.”

“Oh, you mean today!” Brian chuckled and stepped behind the counter to help Jake.

Jake finally stopped wiping. “No, I mean from now on.” He lowered his voice and leaned in conspiratorially. “Didn’t anyone tell you? They let everyone else go. Everyone.” He added in an even quieter voice: “Budget cuts.”

Brian became red, then white. “Are you serious?”

Jake was starting to feel bad, but he kept going for his best friend. “Yup. So, how many shifts can you take? Because you know I’m leaving soon, and they’ll probably bring someone to replace me, but, you know, it’s not the same with a new guy… Aaand you’re on the floor.”

Brian had fainted.

*

“So, how did it go?” Gina called Jake at the end of his shift.

“It was fun for a minute, but I had to tell him the truth.”

“Boo. I didn’t even get to see it. How long did it last?”

“Actually, when I said a minute, I wasn’t exaggerating. The second I finished explaining the whole story he fainted. Sorry, G, I know it’s my last week and you wanted to do something big… Maybe—”

“Hold up, hold up. He fainted? After one minute?”

“Um, yep.” Jake pulled the phone away from his ear to make sure he hadn’t hung up by accident. “G? Gina? I can’t hear you.”

“That’s because—” wheeze, “I’m dying—” wheeze, “of laughter.”

“Oh.” Jake’s shoulders lost some tension he hadn’t realized was there, and then he started laughing too. “It was so great. I had to pick him up, and then when I explained everything he almost fainted again…”

*

Jake crossed the street towards the coffee shop, a piece of paper in his hands, looking excited. Gina watched him from behind the counter, polishing mugs in preparation for the shop opening in forty minutes.

Jake was late, as usual. Wait. No. Jake didn’t work there, as of two days ago. He had gotten a job at a police precinct, he shouldn’t be in the shop before opening time. But as he pushed the door open, sending the bell dinging, his enthusiasm was too contagious to reprimand. “Hey, G.”

“Hey, Jake.” Gina gently put the mug down. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” Jake looked around the shop casually, taking his time. “Except that I’m the best best friend ever and I got you a job interview, if you want it.” He then turned to look directly at her, smiling his mischievous grin in all its glory.

“What?!” Gina practically jumped over the counter to hold Jake and jump around excitedly. “What job? No, whatever it is, it’s better than this, with the oven gunk and the disgusting customers and Tina.”

Jake’s grin still hadn’t let up. “So, it turns out, the precinct that hired me is looking for a receptionist, and I recommended you, and they said they would let you interview. You just need to sit at a desk, your own desk, and answer some phone calls and emails, know where the officers are, maybe file some reports.”

Gina stopped jumping and wrapped her arms around Jake. “And we would work together again. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.”

[twoidiotwriters1]

Pure Blood 20 (Sirius Black x F!Oc)

A/N: Omg,I can't believe we're already in chapter 20, the good is coming

Words: 1,760

Masterlist

Chapter 19 / Chapter 21

Sirius

Yesterday

"You owe me some chocolate frogs, Padfoot," says James, lying down on his bed.

"I don't think so, Prongs. That bet wasn't fair, how could I know that bird was going to attack me?”

"Maybe because you threw rocks at him," adds Peter, and I wince.

Remus enters the room then, the boy walks in with a huge smile all the way to his bed, takes off his sweater and sits on the mattress in front of mine. The three of us are silent as we watch him, waiting for some other reaction. I told them what had happened with Persephone, omitting the fact that he was crying and… the hug.

James sits on the edge of his bed and looks at Remus.

"And well?” That makes him react, but his smile doesn't fade.

"Hello guys. How’d it go? ” I frown.

"Good," says Peter. "But I think it was better for you," he says, trying to joke, but James throws him a shirt to quiet him down.

“Yes, you're right, Pete. It was better than I thought,” Remus replies, slightly red.

"How was your date with... Trixie?" I say, trying to control myself. His face flushes even more.

“I know you don't like her, Padfoot, but I did well, she's a very- wait, how did you know that?” The spell seems to have broken.

"Someone told me,” I lean against the wooden pillar of his bed and cross my arms.

“Oh. Well… yes, it was great, we have many things in common and–”

"Remus, I love you and you know it,” James interrupts him before he gives the details. "I think you're the smartest of the four, but right now you're being an idiot." Remus looks at him confused.

“Are you on his side too? C’mon James, they don't even know her…”

“Listen," I reply. “I may not be the best person to say this, because of my stupid decisions, but…” I approach him. “Why did you leave Persephone?”

"What are you talking ab-" His eyes widen "Holy shit!” He hits his forehead.

"There it is, he finally realized," applauds James.

“Shit, I was supposed to go with her.”

"Didn't you really remember?" I ask.

"No shit, I'm the worst person in the world," He says as he gets up. "I have to talk to her…” He opens the door, but before he could get out, I grab his shirt and he turns.

"It's late, Moony, talk to her tomorrow.”

He sighs and nods, before closing the door a meow stops me. A small cat’s sitting in front of our room.

"How strange…” I don't pay attention and close the door.

"Surely she hates me," he complains.

"No, she's just upset," I say without thinking and he watches me.

"You talked to her?" He asks surprised and I feel shivers run through my body.

"Eh, yes, something like that, she seemed annoyed.”

"I'm an idiot.”

"We agree on that," adds James.

"Okay, now tell us, how did it go with Trixie?" Peter asks and I complain covering my ears.

"I don't want to know what you do with the devil!”

Night came as we argued and joked.

———————————————————————————

Today.

"Does that mean I now have an excuse to hit Snivellus?" I ask, patting her red hair.

"I thought you didn't need one to do it," Lily replies, blowing her nose.

"I need it, now I can say that it was for your honor.” My words make her laugh.

"I still can't believe our friendship is over," she says as she sits down on the floor resting her head on my shoulder.

"Welcome to the Club,” I say sighing.

"I don't think we're in the same club, Persephone," I frown.

"What are you talking about?”

"I know you’ll deny everything, but your relationship with Sirius has changed, you don’t argue like before.”

"That's because of the truce, you know about the plan–“

"If you say so…”

"Anyway, do you want to go to the lake to eat? I'm hungry,” We get up at the same time.

"Surely everyone knows now what happened," she says, wiping her tears away.

“Let them think what they want, Lily. You can't force them to never talk about you, the only thing we can do is ignore them, but if someone dares to hurt you, rest assured that you have a whole group of bodyguards-”

She laughs. "Who would say that after so many fights, we would become friends?"

I Sigh. "Yes, everything is out of balance…”

I feel a chill when I remember the hug with Sirius, but I don't say anything.

We both walk to the large dining room and just as I head over to the Slytherin table, she stops me and offers me a place at her table.

"You want the balance to fall apart, right?" Lily rolls her eyes.

"Don't exaggerate, come on," she says. We sit down with her friends, they all ask if she’s okay and Lily only answers that they will talk later, I’d also be uncomfortable with something like that.

We ate and talked about everything, the relationship with them was friendly, we are not best friends, but I’m comfortable, everything’s better when Jenna joins. After a few minutes, I was already preparing to leave, but a new person stopped me. Trixie sits across from me with a huge smile.

"May I speak to you, Persephone?" I clench my teeth.

"No thanks, I want to live," she giggles, causing a chill.

"Always so funny! But I think it's important that we talk, it's about Remus.”

I raise an eyebrow.

"Did you kill him already or what?" I feel a pinch on my left arm and I complain looking at Lily. Then I sigh. "What do you want?"

"Oh no, I meant talking in a more private place,” She looks at the girls. "I don't want to offend them, it's just that this is a bit embarrassing topic…”

"Don't worry, Persephone will go with you" Jenna says giving me orders. I grimace and get up.

We both leave the large dining room and walk a few hallways.

“Here. I don't intend to be in a secret place where you can hide my body without witnesses.”

She sighs but keeps smiling.

“Listen, I'm not stupid, I know that since the last time we saw each other many years ago, things were not right. But you have to understand that we are no longer girls and I don't think I deserve your bad attitude.”

Well shit. I was not expecting this.

"Still, I don't expect us to be as close friends as before, I know you have your group and I have mine, but our paths are perhaps coming together again," She adds, blushing a little. "Remus is a very cute boy and I don't think I've ever had such a strong connection with anyone, he listens to me and-"

"Stop there I- I don't want to know,” I stir uneasily. "I was supposed to go with him to Hogsmeade yesterday, but he left me standing because of you.”

"I know.”

"And it's not fair- wait- you knew?"

"Yes. He’s quite sorry. When I saw him at the entrance of the school, he was very happy and we started talking, he never mentioned that he was waiting for you, I found out later I- I'm sorry.”

"What?" This I was really not expecting it.

“I’m very sorry for what happened, if I had known… sorry, Persephone. What I least want is to give you reasons to hate me.”

On the one hand, I am very surprised, and on the other I don’t know whether to believe her. Before I could reply, Remus reaches our side.

"Percy, can we talk?"

They both look at each other and smile for a few seconds, but then they came back to me.

"What you did to me, Lupin, you’ll have to compensate. Trixie,” She waits anxiously. “May it never happen again.”

"I promise," She says, smiling, "I'll leave you alone, see you, Remi." She kisses his cheek and leaves.

"I'm really sorry. I completely forgot- it wasn't on purpose- I know what you think, but I'm not like Sirius,” He speaks so fast that I barely understand, so I cover his mouth with my hand.

"Okay, I accept your apology, but I warn you that if it happens again, I will not hesitate to turn you into a worm, understand?" He nods and pulls my hand away.

"So you're not upset anymore?" I shake my head.

“Remus," I say nervously "Do you really like Trixie?"

The boy blushes and runs a hand over his hair.

“Yes, I think so…”

I sigh.

“Just… be careful.”

—————————————————————

"What will you wear for the big party of important people?" Jenna asks surprising me.

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that," I shrug. "My mother will surely send me something. She wants to control everything.”

"At least she has good taste," I nod. "I understand why you like going out to the gardens so much, it's relaxing," She says, lying down on the grass.

Suddenly a small orange bird perches on the book that I put aside. I laugh and look at the animal. Its colors are very bright, I have never seen a bird like that.

"Hey, how do you feel about the whole Trix and Lupin thing?" Adds my friend.

"I don't know, it's weird.”

"Wait, odd that it's with Trix, or that Remus has a girlfriend?"

“Girlfriend? No. Ha! No.”

Jenna laughs out loud.

"What is so funny?"

“You're jealous!”

"What!? Of course not!”

“Yes you are!”

"No, don't say stupid things. I'm only worried about him, Trixie is a bad person -or at least she was- agh! I don't know, but I'm not jealous, I don't see Remus as more than a friend.”

"Hey, it's not bad that you like Lupin, actually, of the four I like him the most.”

“Stop."

"I'm just saying, don't be mad," She says defending herself.

"I can't see Remus that way,” I bend my legs and rest my chin on my knees.

"You would make a nice couple," She adds, making me growl. “Although, I've seen progress with Black…”

"Do you want to stop pairing me with all of them?"

"Hey, it's not my fault! You have a history and somehow, we always end up talking about one of them.”

"I wish I could meet someone else…”

"That would break Lupin and Black's hearts."

"Jenna!"

My scream causes the bird to fly away.

Taglist:

@treestarrrrrrrr  @siriuslysirius1107      @thagreenmoon @madmaiden2890    @ren-ela  @avipshamitra   @auroraawrites @findzelda  @lizlil @siriusmuch   @chloe-geoghegan1 @reverse-hxlland  @may-rapp @the-specific-oceans​

@bloodorangemoonlight

@littledeadgirlwalking​

[onlystylesangels]

My Love For You (Pt. 2)

Requested: Anon: Imagine H being really in love w y/n celebrating his daughter birthday at Anne’s and everyone realising that Harry has found the one OMG THS IS REALLY CHESSY I LOVE IT

Pairing: Harry x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, some angst, death of significant other.

Word Count: 11k+

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

A/N: Second part to MLFY. This was sad for me to write and I hope you lovelies enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing this! Much Love!❤💓💞

“Evie! Evie! Darlin’ c’mon open the door, lovie.”

“No, daddy.”

“Evie… Look Evie I know you don’t like the dentist, but we gotta check those shiny teeth of yours, yeah?”

“Not today daddy.” Evie stuttered out.

“Would it be best if we invite Y/N wit’ us?” Harry said, as he was beginning to sound more convincing.

“Is she coming wit’ us?” Evie asked as her voice soft and heartbreaking for Harry. He knew that Evie was going to start tearing up.  

“We can call her if she is available. Please open the door, lovie. I’m sorry, I should’ve not lied to ya.” Harry apologized, as he rested his forehead on the cold wooden surface of the door.  

There was no response back behind Evie’s door. Which probably explained the soft footsteps that were heard behind the door.

“Call her daddy.”  

“Now if she says yes, will you promise to open this door?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Now open the door, Evie.”

Evie slowly opened the door as Harry stared down at Evie with saddened eyes. She was already dressed, because she thought they were going to the park, but when Harry told her that they were actually going to the dentist, Evie ran to her room and locked it. She hated the dentist, could we blame her?

“You said we were going to the park daddy, you liar!” Evie exclaimed, as her eyes began to develop tears.

“I know Evie. I’m so sorry little bub, but what else could I have done? You hate the dentist.”

“You didn’t have to lie, daddy. The doctor stinks. And the nurses are always mean.” Evie pouted, as Harry knelt down to wipe away the fallen tears that slipped down her cheeks.

“How so?”

“They put pens in me mouth. That’s mean!” Evie exclaimed as she squished her daddy’s cheeks together making him look like a puffer fish.

Harry smiled at his daughter as she concluded her argument that the dentist was the worst and the meanest place. He did agree with her, but he wasn’t going to tell her that.

“Darlin’. It’s their job. They keep kids like you safe from the monsters that are cavities.” Harry tried reasoning with little Evie.

“Cavities?”

“Yep.”

“You crazy, daddy.” Evie teased, as she removed her hands from Harry’s cheeks.

Harry’s smile faded into a frown, as Evie’s big green eyes looked brighter and happier.

“Crazy? Who you callin’ crazy, lovie.” Harry said as he tickled Evie's side, as Evie erupted with giggles and tried to tickle her daddy back.

Harry brought Evie close to him so he could give her a hug, “I love you Evie. Now let's go and check those little teef of yours.”

**//**

“Y/N are you sure they're going to be nice? What if they aren't.”

“Yes Evie. We'll be right there with you. Me and your daddy are going to be in there, sweetie.” Y/N cooed as she smoothed Evie's hair. “Promise. We'll be right here.”  

Evie smiled and looked back at her daddy as he sent her a wink. “Do you want us to come inside bub?” Harry inquired as he bent down next to Y/N.

Evie looked to Y/N's eyes and then back to her daddy. Evie thought deeply is she wanted Y/N and her daddy in with her.

“No. I think I can do this.” Evie smiled as her smile made Harry and Y/N smile and cheer for little Evie.

“Yay! My lovie. You’re growing up so fast.” Harry cheered as he rubbed his glossy eyes.

“Go on then, Evie. We'll be out here.” Y/N said as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss against Evie's forehead. “Proud of you little Evie.” Y/N smiled as Evie gave her a hug and hugged her dad who was busying himself by rubbing his glossy eyes.

“No mo’ tears daddy.” Evie softly said as she smoothed her daddy's cheeks. “I love ya daddy.” Evie smiled as she waved her little hand before she went into the room, she pressed a kiss on Y/N’s cheek.

“She loves you, you know? She really adores you. She adores you more than me!” Harry confessed as he kept wiping at his eyes.

“I adore her Harry, best yet I love the little one.” Y/N giggled. “You’re still crying, darling?” Y/N asked as she wiped the little tears that were threatening to leave Harry’s beautiful emerald eyes. “There.” Y/N smiled.

“You’re too good to me, darlin’.”

**//**

“Daddy! The toofman gave me candy!” Evie exclaimed from the back seat of Harry’s car.

“You sure they're candy? They might be mints, lovie.” Harry said as he looked at the rear view mirror watching his little daughter inspect the contents of the circular little pebbles.

Evie tastes the little circular pebbles and she gags as she tastes a distinct mint flavor.

“Daddy they're mints!! Y/N do you want some candy?”  

“I don't think they're candy, sweetie. Didn't you just say they were mints?”

“Darn it! I can't tell jokes.” Evie pouted as Harry and Y/N both laughed and Evie laughed along with them.

The car ride was pleasant. Harry focused on the road while Evie talked with Y/N during the drive.  

Y/N couldn't describe how she adored little Evie. She is an amazing little kid, she's smart and she has a love of art probably getting it from her dad or mother.

She wondered where her mom was. It's not really her business to know about the mother of this adorable little girl, but she was curious, that's all.

**//**

“Okay, my little bub go on and go to bed I’ll be there in a bit to tuck you in, yeah?” Harry says as Evie starts hopping up trying to get her daddy’s attention.

“Carry me, daddy!” Evie giggled, as she waved her little hands.

“Alright, lovie.” Harry smiles. “Y/N, I’ll be right back. Got to put this little bub for a nappy.”

“Sweet dreams Evie!” Y/N smiled as Evie waved and smiled back at her. Harry walked off  carrying a sleepy little Evie as he walked towards a hallway that led to Evie’s bedroom.  

Y/N stood standing near the dining table, smiling to herself. Oh how Y/N loved Harry and Evie. They were gems to her, the most precious thing that she came across with and she is always thankful of Evie. She was the reason of Y/N meeting Harry and Evie. That precious day was soon going to change into a time that Y/N herself didn’t know she was going to enjoy the company of a precious, little three-year-old and her dad. A man that she has known for months and who she fantasized of. Is it bad that she fantasizes about Harry?  

“I’m back, love. Now, what was it that you were talkin’ ‘bout your feet?” Harry asked as he made his presence into the lonely living room interrupting Y/N’s recent thoughts.

“Uh, yeah. I had this pain since yesterday at work. I was standing most of the time and wearing my favorite high heels. But by the looks of it, they aren’t my favorite anymore.” Y/N added, her hand smoothing down the little hairs on her head that just couldn’t take the hint of staying flat on her head.  

“Love, why don't ya sit down, don't want ya to get your feet hurtin’ more than they already are.” Harry encouraged, as he sat down on the couch. “Ya have foot support?” Harry asked, as Y/N finally sat on the couch.

Y/N shook her head, as she started to massage her socked foot.

“Gotta get 'em fo’ ya. Don't want your feet feelin’ sore all the time. I don't want ya complainin’ about them.” Harry expressed, his hands wrapping around Y/N’s right foot.

“You tired of me complaining, Harry?” Y/N beamed with a smile.  

“Not at all darlin’. Jus’ looking after ya, thas’ all.” Harry said as he sent her a wink.

Harry rubbed Y/N’s feet, massaging the aching flesh of her foot. While doing so, he would look up to Y/N and smile and look back down smiling as he continued massaging Y/N’s feet.  

Y/N's heart started thumping and thumping. Has her heart ever beat this fast? She didn’t know. She can’t recall the moment her heart thumped this hard and loud that she can literally hear the thumping in her ears.  

“You're tickling me, Harry!” Y/N exclaimed as she tried to ignore her loud, pounding heart.

“'S not on purpose, love!” Harry smirks, as he continues massaging and tickling part of Y/N’s foot that makes her laugh the most.

“Stop Harry! You're tickling me!” Y/N laughed out, her hands trying to cover her feet that so Harry wouldn’t have the advantage to tickle her again.  

Harry laughs and stops massaging her feet and just tickles Y/N’s sides.  

“'S fine love. I'll let you have your fun with me as well.” Harry teased as he put on Y/N’s socks back on. “Why didn't ya stay home, love? If your feet were hurtin'?”

“I didn't want to let Evie down. I wanted to be with you both anyways.” Y/N confesses as she smiles looking down at the floor.

“Ya wanted to be here with us? Are you sure it's not because of me?” He smirked, as there was a distinct change of demeanor in his eyes and face. Was it lust? No. It couldn’t be…

“Jus’ jokin’ love. I know you come here to see little Evie.” Harry stated. His last statement becoming a wind of lost words.  

That teasing manner of his was driving Y/N insane. He knew what he was doing with that face having so much emotion but also cockiness.  

Boy was Y/N in for a reckless ride of emotions.  

**//**

“Y/N. I want you to be at this meeting and I need you to write notes of the next big thing that they talk about, okay?” Her boss rephrases. Her short blonde hair looking a little stiff from the tight bun on top of her head.

“Today? I have another meeting with the secretary and other colleagues. Can Emma do it instead?” Y/N reasoned. Her boss giving her an expressionless look.

“I’m asking you to do it, Y/N. Besides, I really think you can do this. I only ask people to do this for me if I trust them, and you Y/N, I do trust.” The blonde woman explained.

Y/N nodded in response and tells her that she can do it even though in her mind she is telling herself to just skip that meeting. But knowing Y/N, nothing will change her mind from going to that meeting.    

Speaking of a reckless ride of emotions. Y/N was currently sitting through a long, boring meeting about a company wanting to partner with the company that Y/N is working for. Why couldn’t she man up and considered the idea of opening her own coffee shop? Ever since she graduated from college she had the idea of opening a coffee shop that had its own bookstore, but she really wasn’t sure if she should have done it. Now? Now she actually wished she considered it.    

“Alright. That will be all. Does anyone have any further questions before we end today’s meeting?” A colleague said. Someone that Y/N didn’t even know worked in this building.

Everyone shook their heads as Y/N was relieved to seeing everyone getting up and gathering their papers and notes. Y/N gathered her notes that she took while colleagues were presenting their new solutions investing on new things to buy and then sell to other companies.  

She stepped out of the meeting room and walked passed other cubicles. Her mind only focusing on leaving and getting home and treating herself to a relaxing bath. But before she could think more about relaxing, she heard Cami’s voice call her from behind her.  

“Y/N! There is someone asking to see you. It’s that good looking lad with green eyes and his little daughter.” Cami informed her. Her eyes glancing down at the papers in her hands and back up to Y/N.

“Uh… Are they in the front desk?”

“Yes. Go on, go. I’ll take these papers to the boss for you.”

“You sure, Cami? I can take them to her right now I don’t want-”

“Nonsense. I got it. Now go with them, don’t want the good looking lad waiting too long.” Cami winked. Her eyes not leaving Y/N’s as her face started to evolve into a pink and red tint on her cheeks.  

Oh. Is it really that obvious?  

Yes. It is obvious she told herself.

Once Y/N grabbed her coat and purse she had a smile plastered on her face when she entered the coat room. Her hands started to tremble for a weird reason. Was it because she was excited to see them or was it for something else? She couldn’t really explain it but boy, she was excited to see them.  

She walked quickly, passing other people that walked beside her. Her smile never faltering, her smile got even wider when she landed eyes on the beautiful family of two.  

As Y/N came closer to them, Evie waved her little hands catching Harry’s attention. His gaze moved from looking down on Evie to Y/N, his eyes wandering on her face and seeing the big smile on her face.  

God, how he adored her beautiful smile.  

“Y/N!” Evie exclaimed. As she was bouncing on her toes.

“Hi, lovie!” Y/N exclaims. As she brought Evie close to her to hug her.

Harry stays behind them, admiring them both.  

Evie and Y/N separate from each other as Y/N looks up to find Harry smiling down at them.

“Hi love.” Harry smiles.  

That smile would be the end of her.

Harry came close to her as he embraced her as well.

“How are you Y/N?” He asked, his voice sounding like luxurious velvet.

“I’m great. How are you Harry.”

“Splendid.” He smiled yet again. “Lovie. Why don’t you show Y/N your new sneakers, yeah?” Harry encourages by patting Evie’s shoulder.

Evie smiles up her dad as he returns the smile to her. “Y/N, I got my new sneaks yesterday! Do ya like ‘em?”  

“Of course, lovie! I adore your new sneaks. Might have to get myself some too!” Y/N mused, as she knelt down and booped Evie’s nose.

Harry glanced at Evie giving her one of his infamous smiles. “I wanted to- we wanted to ask you if you can go to the park with us today? I hope we didn’t interrupt your shift.”

“No, it’s alright. I was just about to leave when you two came in. Good timing.” Y/N grinned. “Is it nice out there? It was quite chilly when I got here.”

Harry nods in agreement and continues. “Feels like spring out there. It must be coming early this year.”

Both Y/N and Harry stand awkwardly near the exit of Y/N’s workplace.

“I think we should get out, yeah?” Y/N reminds, her hands tucked in her heavy coat pockets.

Harry nods and takes Evie’s hand in his.

“Shall we go to the park?” Y/N suggested, as Harry ran a hand through his messy head of curls.

“Ye- Yes. Let’s get goin’.” Harry stutters, as Evie giggles at him.  

How did Evie see the effects that Y/N gave her dad whenever they were around each other?

Is it really that obvious that even Evie laughs at her dad for stuttering trying to get something out without his cheeks turning a light shade of pink? If it was obvious to Evie then it was totally obvious to them both, right?  

**//**

The walk was pleasant. The park that they were going to was very close to Y/N’s job which was convenient. Her feet started to hurt just a little but she thanked Harry when he surprised her one day giving her foot support.  

“Had to get ‘em fo’ ya, darlin’. Don’t want your feet hurtin’ again.”  

He cared for her so much and she felt bad for accepting the foot support that he got her. He used his time and money in getting her something that Harry knew Y/N was going to use. It’s just he didn’t have to get it for her, but he wanted to anyway. He was just too kind for his own good.

Harry and Evie walked beside each other as Evie held her dad’s hand and Y/N walking beside Evie. The weather was beautiful, even though it was in the middle of January. The sun was blazing and with its brightest rays and the wind whispering short nothings.

“Daddy? Can we sit there?” Evie asked, as she shaded her eyes with her hand

“Of course, lovie. Choose where you fancy, yeah?” Harry smiled down at her as Evie ran to a bench under a tree that overlooked the river.

“This park is really beautiful.” Y/N acknowledged.  

“It is innit?” Harry said as he looked at Y/N and admired her beautiful features.

How he was lost in love with her.  

“We have never been to this park before. Just the one near your house.”

“Yeah, but I think I like this one better." Harry said as he sat down on a bench overlooking the still frozen little pond.

Y/N walked behind him as Evie ran towards them and held Y/N’s hand.  

"It's almost Daddy's birthday, Y/N." Evie added, her eyes glancing back to Harry.

"Really? When is it, lovie?"

"Ask him!" Evie whispered yelled. "Daddy can I play with the other kids?" Evie asked Harry as they were all settled on the bench.

“Sure, lovie. Be careful please, okay?” Harry warned Evie as she rolled her eyes and hugged Harry.

“Okkayy.” Evie elaborated, as Harry smiled of her sassiness.

Evie ran towards a group of little kids that were nearby so Harry and Y/N could keep an eye out.  

“Love her! She is such a little sassy little bub, isn’t she?” Y/N asked as she bumped Harry with her arm.

“She is. Don’t know where she gets it from.” Harry added, he looked down and began playing with his rings.  

“So, I heard from Evie that your birthday is coming soon. When is it?”

Harry smiled. That cheeky smile that shows off his beautiful dimples. “First of February.”

“That’s next week Harry! Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Y/N questioned, as she put a strand of hair behind her ear.  

“I dunno. Jus’ thought ya didn’t want to know.” Harry stated as he made it sound like a question.

“Of course I want to know! I would probably make you a cake or get ya a present of some sort.”

“Stop, love. Don’t want ya gettin’ me anythin’. Being in your company is already the best thing I can ask for.” Y/N’s face reddened, as her whole body started to warm up as she started to unzip her jacket. Gosh she was burning up. Along with the heat, butterflies consumed her belly as Harry smirked at himself from her reaction.

“Look at ya. Got ya all red ‘n blushy.” Harry teases as Y/N gently hits him in the arm.

“Stop it will you!” Y/N exclaimed as Harry continued to laugh finally making Y/N laugh along with him.

**//**

“Evie? Can you come here and get your lunch? I jus’ finished makin’ mac and cheese.”  

There was shuffling heard from the end of the hall as Evie ran towards the kitchen, as she had a stuffed bunny in her hand.

“Mac and cheese!” Evie exclaimed right after she sat down on a chair.

Y/N admired Evie and watched Harry as he carefully put the pasta in a little plate. He was so concentrated that he didn’t even bother to turn off the burner.

“Alright, love.” Harry said as he walked towards the dining table. “Here ya go, little bub.” Harry set the small plate in front of Evie as Evie clapped her hands from excitement.

“Tank you daddy.”

Harry stood near the table making sure that Evie had everything before he walked himself towards Y/N.  

“Do you need anythin’, love? Water, soda, anythin’?” He asked, as Y/N shook her head and looked towards Evie as she enjoyed her lunch.

“She loves mac and cheese.”

“Yeah. Wouldn’t blame the little bub. I love mac and cheese as well. You?”

“Love it.”  

While Evie finished up eating her mac and cheese, Harry went into the kitchen to wash up the dishes he used to make the pasta. Y/N was sat on the couch by herself and she got up, curious to look at the photo portraits on a shelf.  

She walked herself towards the the shelves that had pictures of faces that Y/N didn’t recognize and only two portraits that she recognized was Harry and Evie.  

Her mind wandered to the thoughts and feelings that each person felt when Y/N picked up one frame and saw each unfamiliar face smile. They were all so happy. But there was one picture that caught her eye, one that only showed a woman carrying a newborn baby in her arms and a man kissing the woman on her forehead and having his hand on top of hers while she had both wrapped around the baby.

Was this her? Was this Evie’s mother? It had to be, who else would this woman be. Y/N felt happiness but a rush of sadness at the same time. She set the picture frame back on the shelf where it belonged and went to sit back down on the couch. She looked over to the dining table and saw that Evie wasn’t there anymore and glanced over to the hallway and found Harry walking over to her.

He moved slowly towards the living space, he kept rubbing his eyes and he almost bumped into the chair that Evie sat on.

“Fuck sakes!” Harry whisper yells. He pushed the chair in and continued his way towards the living room.

“Are you alright? You look a little woozy.” Y/N cautioned.

“Yeah. Jus’ a little tired tha’s all.” Harry slowly said.

“I’ll go if that’s alright. Don’t want you to stay awake because of me.”

“No, no, love. Please stay as long as you want. Don’t want ya to feel forced to go because I’m jus’ gettin’ a little tired.” Harry added. He rubbed his eyes and let out a yawn. “Plus, like I said,” He pauses and lets out a yawn. “I love havin’ you here.” Harry smiles as Y/N smiles back.

After an hour of talking about work and more about Evie’s birthday party, Harry and Y/N were both covered in a blanket as they were enjoying a show that was currently playing in the background.  

Y/N tilted her head to see Harry intently looking at the tellie. She wanted to ask him what was in her mind, but right now? He fascinated on what was on the tellie, this could surely wait another time, but no. She was just that curious to ask him.

“Harry?” Y/N asked. Harry shifted and abruptly looked over to her eyes.  

“Yeah, love?” Harry asked. He rubbed his eyes from looking at the tellie for far too long. “Is there somethin’ ya need, Y/N?” Harry asked as he smiled.

“No. I just wanted to ask you something?” Y/N’s statement coming out as a question.

“Go ahead, love.” Harry chuckles

“Okay. I wanted to ask about Evie’s mother. I just saw the pictures on the shelf and I saw a woman carrying a newborn baby. And I know it is none of my business to know this you don’t have to tell me anything if you-”

“It’s fine, Y/N. It’s just been a long time since someone has asked me about her and I think today is better than any to talk about her.” Harry confessed.

Y/N shifted her weight so she face Harry. Her arm was on a cushion of the couch and her head resting on her hand.

“We were happy. We met in college. She was going for a psychology degree as I was going for a fashion design degree.” Harry said as he ran a hand through his curls. “I loved her so much. I miss her everyday whenever I think ‘bout her. We were happy and so in love before little Evie came into our lives. Every single day I thought I was dreamin’ like nothing felt real, but then it was real, ya know?”

Y/N nodded, “Yeah. I know what you mean. You feel as if it’s fantasy but it’s not it’s just reality.” Y/N added.

“She was young when it happened, she was twenty-one and I was twenty-two. We actually met two years before we started dating.” Harry said. He rubbed his eyes and inhaled deeply before he continued. “She was so amazing before she gave birth to Evie. We decorated the nursery room together. When she told me that she was pregnant, I fuckin’ lost it. I fuckin’ cried and held her so tight that she kept trying to get out of my embrace ‘cos she told me I kept squishing her.” Harry laughs.

“When we found out that we were goin’ t’ave a baby-girl we were both so fuckin’ happy. We came up with some names but we honestly couldn’t choose only one. We never decided on a name. So I decided to name our baby girl Evaleen. A name that would always remind me of Evelyn.” Harry confessed. His smile slowly diminishing to a frown.

Y/N held Harry’s hand as she noticed his eyes getting a little watery and watching his face change, his lip started to quiver and his voice shaky.

“She did amazing while she was in labor. But right after… right after-”

*Flashback*

"Baby, you have to let me go. Find someone else to love and someone that our little girl enjoys being around. When you find that special person I want you to throw this ring in the ocean.”

"Evelyn don't talk like that! You're going to get through this baby, I know you can. You're so strong you can go through anything my love." Harry confirmed. As Evelyn’s hand cupped Harry’s cheek and wiped away the fallen tears.

"Not today, Harry. This is the end. You don’t know how much you made me feel so happy, loved. Harry you gave me the best adventures while we’ve been together all these years. I love you so much. Thank you for this little baby girl. You gave me this beautiful little us and now she is lucky to have you as her daddy." Evelyn whispered. Her eyes slowly closing and opening again.  

"This is it, my darling. We will meet again somewhere and I will always, always love you till the end. I love you so much Harry and our little baby girl." Evelyn whimpered, her hands trembling as Harry held onto them for dear life.

"Don't leave me Evelyn, please don't leave us!" Harry croaked, his eyes forming tears as Evelyn smiled and underlined Harry's jawline with her finger.

The monitors made a loud sound once Harry looked over to the machines and saw the flatline of her heart. Doctors and nurses came running into the loud, but silent room and ran towards Evelyn’s side. Her body still, her hands beginning to get colder and colder by each minute that had passed. Evelyn was no longer with him. She passed away not even saying a goodbye to their newborn baby girl. A newborn that has not been granted her name yet. Harry couldn’t believe that the woman that he has been with for so long was taken away from him, his sobs becoming louder each time the doctors tried to get her heart beating again. But with each electric shock, Evelyn’s heart never sounded on the monitors. She was gone.

“She was gone jus’ like that. I think it was five or six hours after she gave birth to Evie, the doctor and nurses told us that Evelyn lost a lot of blood. They were goin’ to make blood transfusions, but they were too late. Evelyn died once the doctors had the blood transfusions ready to use.” Harry concluded. He looked down at his hands and played around with one particular ring. “This is the ring that she wants me to throw into the ocean. I promised her I was goin’ to throw it once I found someone new, but it’s jus’ not that simple to forget all those memories that you had with the first person you fell in love with. It’s jus’ not that simple.” Harry cried out. His hands grasping Y/N’s.

“I'm sorry Harry. If I knew I wouldn't have asked you this. I know you're still hurting from your loss. I know by just hearing you say beautiful things about Evelyn she would have been a caring mother to Evie. You're so strong Harry. I know you were in a lot of pain, but you raised Evie. You raised this little bub of joy. She's a true blessing and I just know that Evelyn is looking down at you both, she's proud of you Harry.” Y/N praised. Her hand wiping away the tears that have fallen down Harry’s cheeks.  

“I really miss her, Y/N. I jus’ want to see her again, jus’ for another minute.” Harry croaked in the crook of Y/N’s neck.  

Y/N held Harry in her arms for as long as he wanted to be. She didn’t move a single muscle she just stood there hugging Harry so he could let everything out.

Y/N loved Harry as a friend and she was heartbroken when Harry told her everything that happened with Evelyn. He was once happy before. He was in love with Evelyn and fate had to end their relationship right after they both saw their baby girl be born. It was unfair how Harry had to lose someone so close to him and to Evie that she didn’t want to see Harry in a situation like this ever again. A beautiful soul such as Harry’s didn’t deserve to face the tragedy and sadness that he felt years ago, but he did, and that’s the facts. Him and his family didn’t have to go through this.  

“Harry. I’m always here if you need someone to talk to. With anything, I’m always here.” Y/N comforted.

Harry wiped his eyes, and inhaled deeply. “Thank you love.” Harry smiled shyly. “Shit, I got snot on your shirt, sorry Y/N.” Harry apologized as Y/N smiled at him.

“It’s fine Harry. I don’t want you to worry about the shirt. It’s just a shirt, hun.” Y/N laughed. Her hands cleaning his wet cheeks and giving him a kiss on the forehead.  

“I got you, Harry.” Y/N whispered.  

Harry loved her company. He was going to be honest, he tried hiding his face into the crook of Y/N’s neck so she wouldn’t see his tinted pink cheeks from the simple kiss she gave him. He felt safe while being enclosed in her arms. He hasn’t felt safe since Evelyn. His mind admitting that yes, he was gaining feelings for Y/N but he didn’t want to accept just yet. He wasn’t ready to accept it and love someone else and he also didn’t want to lose someone else he loves.

Harry unwrapped himself from Y/N and held onto her hand.

“Thank you, Y/N. For being here and for comforting me, love.” His hand making little circles on hers.

“Of course, Harry.” Y/N smiled. She looked down to see Harry’s hand. His ring finger adorned with ring that Evelyn gave him. She smiled up at him and he smiled back, his beautiful dimples showing.

“Daddy?” Evie asked once she came into the living room.  

“Evie. Hi little bub.” Harry let go of Y/N’s hand and looked back to see his little girl.

Evie rubbed her eyes, as she slowly walked herself towards the couch. “You’re crying.”

“It’s nothin’ bub. I jus’- Daddy was jus’ sad for a bit, yeah. Nothin’ to worry about, lovie.” Harry sniffed. Evie motioning him to bend down to her height.

“You’re okay now?”  

“Yes, lovie. I’m okay.” Harry takes ahold of Evie’s little hands in his. “I’m okay now.” Evie hugs Harry and kisses him on the cheek.

Y/N was sat on the couch admiring Evie and Harry from a distance. She was about to get up before Evie ran to her and gave her hug as well.

“Tank you, Y/N.”  

“For what, lovie?”

“Making daddy feel better.”

Harry stood before them and smiled. Staying still so he wouldn’t interrupt this beautiful moment of his daughter and Y/N.  

Harry didn’t want to end this too short but he had to send Evie off to bed and he was positive that Y/N was getting a little tired since it was now midnight.

Harry clears his throat and sits down on the couch. “Lovie? I think it’s time for you to go back to bed, yeah. I think Y/N wants to rest up too.” Harry assures. His hand set on Evie’s shoulder.

“Okay daddy. Can I say bye to Y/N first?” Harry nods as Evie gives Y/N one last hug.

“Goodnight, tall girl.” Evie smiles, her eyes wanting to close any minute now.

“Goodnight sweetie.” Y/N answers.

Evie gives Harry a goodnight kiss before she runs off to her bed waving a last goodbye to Y/N. Harry had his arms crossed over his chest and looked into Y/N’s eyes.

“I would ask you if you would like to spend the night here, but I also know you work later today. I could drive you back home?”  

“It’s alright, Harry. I can catch a bus. I don’t want you to leave Evie here alone.”

“Right.” Harry concluded as he went to the coat rack and grabbed Y/N’s belongings.  

“Be careful, Y/N. And please call or text back when you get back home, yeah?” Harry asked. His eyes meeting Y/N’s as she nods her head and zips up her coat.

Harry walks beside Y/N as they are both nearing the door. Harry opens the door for Y/N and she walks ahead and looks back to catch a last glimpse of Harry before she leaves.

“See you soon?”

“Yes, Y/N.”

Y/N steps a bit to hug Harry, but before she could walk away and unwrap her arms around him, Harry lands a kiss on her forehead.

“Goodnight, love.” Harry said with a grin.

Y/N whispers a ‘goodnight’ in return and begins walking away from the house. Her thoughts causing her to walk slowly by that single kiss that Harry gave her. That simple kiss, causing her to smile to herself as she walked herself towards the bus stop. The smile never leaving her face.  

**//**

“Evie, darlin’? Are ya ready yet? Come on, lovie we gotta get goin’.”

“Daddy? Is lunch ready?” Evie asked Harry, her little hands messing with her hair.

“I prepared it yesterday, lovie. Is there somethin’ else ya wanted?”  

“Peanut butter crackers.” Evie simply said with a smile.  

Harry ruffled Evie's loose little hairs and smiled down at her.

"Of course, lovie. But jus' one little packet, yeah." Harry warned. His eyes intently looking at her when she reached into the box of the peanut crackers.

He had to make sure she was only going to take one. There has been times that Evie has taken three or four packets of those little crackers that cause her to get super hyper.

Once Harry brushed Evie's hair and made two little braids; (courtesy of his mum for teaching him how to braid hair.) They were both ready to go. Every morning Harry would take Evie to daycare and after he would say his goodbyes, and he’s off to work.

Harry entered the chatty reception room where all the receptionists were all talking. Harry walked over to the tea kettle and made himself a tea and poured it on a little cup.

Harry walked away from the little breakfast station and walked towards the hallway where his little office was located at.  

While walking, he sees a woman who Harry has befriended these past few years since he’s been here. The woman was around her mid-fifties or so Harry thinks, (Harry never asked her about her age, he was too scared to.) When he first met her she looked intimidating. But once he started to talk to her more he realized that she was one of the nicest women he’s ever met. She was also sometimes Evie’s babysitter whenever Harry had to go on a trip out of the country to look at different fabrics from other countries.  

“Harry, love!” The woman said with a smile.

“Peggy!”  

“It’s been so long since the last time I saw you!” Peggy exclaimed as she hugged Harry’s tall frame.

“I know. Been a bit busy tha’s all.”

“Busy? With work or-,”

“Work and personal things.”

“Ah, I see. So how’s the little bub?”

Harry smiled, “She’s good. Jus’ took her to daycare.” Harry finished. “How have ya been Peggy? I heard you went on a trip to Rome. How was that?”

“It was amazing, Harry. Wished you come. There were so many beautiful clothing designs. They were just exquisite.”

“Mhm, I heard. Gonna have to design somethin’  with those fabrics. Did ya get extra Peggy?”

“Don’t I always.” Peggy teased, as she lightly elbowed Harry on the arm.

“I still have to get somethin’ for little Evie. Not sure what she wants.”

“Oh yea! It’s almost her birthday. Planning on inviting me, Harry?” Peggy asked, her eyebrows raised.

“Of course! Would love to have ya there, Peggy.”

Their boss came out of his office and scolded at them. They both began walking towards their offices.  

“I’ll give you the fabrics before you leave, yeah?” Peggy informed him, “Please let me know when you’re planning Evie’s birthday party.”

Harry nodded, “Of course, Peggy. See you later.”

And with that they were off. They both went into their offices and worked on their current designs that they were working on.  

Harry had this particular design that he was working on. He told himself that it was design that was going to be gender neutral. The design he had in mind was going to include ruffles. A lot of ruffles. A big bow on the neckline and sheer fabrics that he started to use when he got this idea of the new clothing designs.

With each drawing, intricate little designs covered the paper. He carefully examined each fabric carefully and made sure that it was going to look beautiful after his design was finished. But before he could put the fabric on a mannequin the door to his office abruptly opened. His boss glancing over to him.

This can’t be good.

Harry didn’t like his boss very much, he was nice at times but for the most part he would be a complete asshole. Harry had to always hold off his creative, unique designs because of him. He always wanted something new, fresh, but every single piece the company has done has been the same design over and over again. Who could understand him?

“Harry, I want you in my office. We got to talk about your recent designs.” The man demanded, as he dusted off his expensive looking suit.

“Yes, sir.” Harry simply replied back.

He got up from his chair and walked towards the door, examining the room making sure everything was in its proper place before he went to his boss’s office.

As he was now facing the door of his boss’s door he breathed in deeply and exhaled quietly before he twisted the doorknob.  

There he was met with his boss sitting in his chair, his eyes fixed on his computer screen.

Harry cleared his throat as he walked towards his desk. “You wanted to see me sir?”

“Yes, Harry. Please sit down.”  

Harry obliged and sat down. His hands on his lap and eyes fixed on the man that looked too serious all the time. (Wondered if he ever smiled.)

“I wanted to talk about our recent designs. They weren’t… uh, how could I say this. They weren’t that great.” The man criticized.

Harry took a huge gulp before he could respond back to him, “Sir. I worked hard on those designs. Why are you sayin’ they aren’t that great?” Harry questioned.  

Mr. Blair was no stranger to criticizing his employees’ designs, but for some reason Harry had more criticism from him.

“They weren’t good, because I specifically told you to design men suits. I didn’t ask you to design trash such as dresses for men or suits for women, I said men suits.” Mr. Blair snarled, “If you aren’t going to design what I ask you to design then it was nice having you here, Harry.” Mr. Blair finalized  

Harry was shocked, his eyes were intently staring at Mr. Blair as he kept his hands on his lap. His tongue swirling in his mouth as he was starting to get frustrated from this whole discussion.

“You know what Mr. Blair? I designed those because I wanted to bring somethin’ different to this company. Don’t ya get tired of designing the same thing every fuckin’ time?” Harry fumed, “Every time I designed something different I always got called in here to hear how you didn’t like ‘em, but at the end of the fuckin’ day my creations are the ones that are selling more than those suits you want us creating all the damn time. So yeah Mr. Blair, it was nice meetin’ you too. It was a real bloody treat working for you.” Harry finished. He stood up from the chair and left the room without speaking another work to Mr. Blair.  

Oh how he was relieved in quitting his job. He obviously had to find somewhere else to work which had now surfaced his head. Why did he have to say something? He thought.

“Fucks sakes!” Harry exclaims in the confines of his office. He holds his head as he starts pacing the room, trying to figure out what the hell he just did.

Harry grabbed a box and stuffed every little portrait he had on his desk and his sketchbooks along with some fabrics he was working, hell he took all the little fabrics that were lying around in his office. He shoved everything in the box with each puff of air he exhaled. What was he going to do now?

Harry walked the long corridor and walked towards Peggy’s office, the door to her office slightly open.

“Peggy? Are ya in there?” Harry asked, as he opened the door more and peeked inside to see Peggy sitting at her desk.

“Harry! Hi! I actually got your fabrics here. I was jus-,” Peggy’s gaze travels down to the big box that Harry held with his arm. “Harry? What happened? Why are you carrying a moving box?”

“I quit my job?” Harry said, his statement ending in a question.

“Why in the world would ya do that?”

“Personal reasons.” Harry answered. His gaze going back to the box he was carrying.

“Oh love. He yelled at you again about your designs? Come here love.” Peggy motioned him to sit down on a chair and handed him the fabrics that she promised she was going to give him.

“I know Mr. Blair was always an asshole with you, but that doesn’t mean he took away your talent. Look, Harry. You got so much talent, love. You have created these beautiful pieces of clothing, I know somewhere or someone will appreciate your artistic pieces, yeah? I need you to know that. You can design what your heart desires and no one is going to take that opportunity away from you. You never know, you might even own your own fashion line and company.” Peggy encouraged as she smiled up at Harry.  

"You think so, Peggy?"

"Of course. You're a talented young man. There will be endless opportunities for you." Harry glanced back at the sketchbooks and fabrics that were randomly throw in the box.

"You got the fabrics. Use them for one of those designs that I know you've held off for so many years." Peggy got up from her chair and went to stand next to Harry, his grip on the box tight. "You know you can create anything you want, Harry. This is your chance." Peggy smiled as she hugged Harry a smile now making its appearance on his face.

"You’re always good with words, Peggy." Harry laughed as he made Peggy smile bigger than ever.

**//**

“Evie will you please jus’ sit down and eat your dinner, lovie?”

After Harry left work he went to pick up Evie and they spent the whole day together at home. Harry noticed when he went to pick her up she seemed very jumpy than usual. She kept running around and it took ten minutes to get Evie in his car. He thought she was just happy to see him or maybe she just had an incredible day?

“Daddy! Look I got a moosestache!” Evie exclaimed as a black marker was in her hand.

“Darlin’, please put that down. Come here and eat your dinner, yeah?”

“Daddy, look!” Evie ignored him and began running around the living room.

Harry had a frustrated frown, his eyes moving each way Evie went running around.

"Evie! Why are you so hyper? Did they feed you bubs at daycare?"

"No daddy! I took two packets of peanut butter crackers!" Evie giggles. Evie still running around the house.

"Evaleen Styles! Come back here!” Harry motioned, his hand on his hip. “How did you get two packets of crackers. I was right there when ya got one."  

"You went in the bathroom to get me brush for me hair. I got another one from the shelf!"

"From the shelf? Lovie, you could've fallen!" Harry admitted. His hands on his head as he exhaled a sigh. “Jus’ please, Evie. Sit down and eat your food.” Harry said his eyes having no emotion.  

Evie realized his change of demeanor and walked towards the table. As she sat down and began eating her spaghetti.

Harry was stuck in his little office where he had outfits on racks and mannequins wearing unfinished pieces. He stared at a drawing that he was currently drawing. A familiar face that he loved looking at if he was lucky enough, he would be seeing the face everyday. Y/N’s face was just a little sketch. Lines and scribbles defining her beautiful hair and her facial features making it difficult for Harry to finish the face. Next to her face he began drawing a shirt that had elements of Y/N’s fashion pieces. Before he could finish adding the last little designs on the shirt, the door to his little office opens, Evie staring back at him.

“Oh. Hi, lovie.” Harry said, his eyes soft.

“Can you read to me?” Evie asked. As she tried rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

Harry simply smiled and put his sketchbook and pencil down on his desk and walked towards Evie. “Of course, lovie. Come here.” Harry picked her up as Evie smiled, her eyes ready to close any minute now.

Harry finished reading to her and was about to kiss her goodnight and to tuck her in.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, Evie?”

Evie’s softened and her smile left her face as she looked down at the little book that was in her hand that Harry just finished reading to her.

“M’sorry I ate two packets of peanut butter crackers.” Evie apologized, her gaze ignoring Harry’s.

Harry softly patted her little head and grinned, “Lovie. I’m not mad at ya. I was jus’ worried ‘bout you. You could’ve fallen, my little bub.” His hand tucking a strand of her straight hair behind her ear. “I was afraid somethin’ would have happened to you, lovie.” Harry confessed, his smile leaving. Evie concentrated on his face. She hated seeing her daddy without showing off his dimpled smile.

“You look sad, daddy. Can I make you smile?” Harry nodded as he held onto her little hands in his bigger ones.

Evie puckered her lips as Harry laughed at her silliness.  

“The kissy face. Tha’s a classic, lovie!” Harry laughs as Evie laughs along with him.

“Love you, daddy.”

“I love you, Evie.”

Harry kisses Evie’s forehead and tucks her in, making sure she stays warm the whole night. He leaves her room and leaves on her little nightlight.  

As Harry lies down on his bed, he switches his light off and goes instantly falling asleep thinking about the one person that was thinking about the whole day.  

**//**

It was the weekend. Y/N was busy cleaning her little apartment and listening to music while doing so.  

A couple miles away from Y/N, Harry was up an hour early packing a small duffle bag for Evie because she was going to sleep over at her auntie Gemma’s house. Harry didn’t really sleep well the day before because of stressing over finding a new job and creating designs for his future employers.  

His mind kept circling back to his past job and always circling back to Y/N and how she was during this beautiful Saturday morning. For the rest of the week he couldn’t take Y/N out his thoughts, and he was glad too. Thinking about her didn’t bother him at all it made him smile during random times throughout the day. As for Y/N, she was waiting for Harry to text her or call her. She would’ve called or texted him but she didn’t really want to because she worried that he was probably busy with Evie or maybe he was doing something important.

After Y/N had her breakfast and sat on the couch, relaxing with a book in one hand and a coffee mug in the other, she was happy. During her reading, she received a text and then a call right after she noticed the text message.

“Y/N?”

“Harry, hi.” Y/N greeted. She set her book down keeping her hand on the page she was in so she wouldn’t lose her place.  

“Hello, love. Did I interrupt you? Were you doin’ somethin’?”

Y/N smiles, “No, no. I was just reading. What’s going on?”

“Okay, good. I jus’ wanted to invite you to dinner or maybe if I could come over or if you could come over today?”

“Er- um, sure?” Y/N replied back as she slapped her forehead, embarrassed from not being able to reply quick enough. “And Evie? How is she?”

“She’s good, Yeah she’s doing good. I jus’ got from my sister’s, I took Evie there cos she’s been askin’ to spend the night and hang out with her cousins.” Harry added.

“Oh, I’m glad she’s doing good.” Y/N said. Harry and Y/N didn’t say anything for a bit before Y/N spoke again. “So, do you want me to go to you or you c-,”

“I can come to you. If tha’s alright wit’ you.” Harry assured. As he searched on his laptop some top good take-out restaurants.  

“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. At what time will I be expecting you?”

There was shuffling heard in the background and a little ‘ding’ heard.  

“Uh, maybe at five or six? I’m still thinkin’ when. I’ll message you, love, when I am near your place, yeah?” Harry confirmed.

Y/N nodded.

“Love, will that be alright?” He asked, as Y/N’s side of the line was silent.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, I nodded yes. Forgot it was a phone call.” She confessed, as Harry let out a little laugh.

“Oh! Don’t be sorry, love. It happens.” Harry smiles, “I’ll let you know when I get there, okay? And don’t make anythin’. Jus’ leave that to me, yeah?”

Y/N nodded again and scolded herself for doing it yet again.

“You nodded again, huh?” Harry asked, as Y/N giggled in the background.

“Yeah.” Y/N smiled.    

“You’re too cute, Y/N. I’ll see you later then, yeah?” Harry smiled. They both hung up the phone as soon as they said their goodbyes.  

Was Y/N ready for this little dinner date? Could it be considered a dinner date? No, no, It’s just dinner.

Or was it?

**//**

Hours after Y/N talked with Harry on the phone, she started to organize everything in her little apartment. Shoes, random items that were on the coffee table were either thrown away or put where they actually belong. She even got every candle she owned and lighted them and put them wherever in the apartment. Yeah, she barely had any visitors, so today was a busy day in cleaning.

Harry on the other hand was busy looking for restaurants to get dinner from. The only times he did eat out was the breakfast place he would go with Evie and to fast-food restaurants.

All he thought though was he was hoping that Y/N was going to like this restaurant he was currently looking at. An Italian restaurant that he has never gone to and a place he never thought existed in London.  

**//**

The dark blue embers of the night came. Harry was just finishing up dressing himself up. While doing so, he was on the phone with Evie. He told her he was going to hang out with Y/N for a bit and she was all giggly when she heard where he was going to go. As Harry finished dressing up and gently brushing his loose curls he was ready to head to the restaurant and go to Y/N’s home.  

He was beyond excited. He’s been wishing to see her for a whole week and now he was ready to see her again, like birds coming back to the city when it’s warm out.    

Meanwhile, Y/N was sat on the couch watching one of her favorite shows. Candles were still lit as other candles were blown out a long time ago.  

While watching the third episode of the show, Y/N’s phone vibrated as a text came in from Harry. Seconds later there was a knock and Y/N shot up from the couch immediately and walked towards the door. She looked through the peephole, already knowing who it was, but she just did it for precautions.  

Y/N was met with a smiling Harry, his hands busy with two bags of food, and his mouth dangling his car keys.

“Harry, hi. Please come in, and let me help you with those bags.” Y/N invited as Harry hummed in response and walked in before her.

Y/N set the two bags of food on the kitchen counter and grabbed plates and cups.

“Hi, love. Didn’t get to properly say hello to you.” Harry said as he leaned in and kissed her cheek. Her cheeks blushed as she quickly turned around, busied herself with thee food.

“You can, um- sit down, Harry.” Y/N said as she motioned to the chair that was close to the little dining table.  

Harry sat down but then got up and walked towards her.

“I would like to help you, Y/N. May I?”

Y/N nodded as she gave the other plate to him.

As motioned hands were at work putting in Italian breadsticks, three different types of pasta and dessert being the last thing left in the bag.

“Harry, how much was all this?” Y/N asked as she glanced at the bag and back to him.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, love. It’s my treat, so let me treat you, yeah?”

Y/N smiled as Harry smiled back and gave her side a gentle nudge with his elbow.  

As they both walked themselves to the coffee table in the living room, they were eating their dinner and talking about how their past week has been and ongoing plans for Evie’s birthday party.

“Still have to ask the little bub what she wants.” Harry said, “Although, she has told me ‘bout gettin’ her these baby bananas. I guess she loves bananas like me.” Harry laughed, his dimples indenting on his cheeks.

“I think I might get her a painting set. I’ve noticed she loves to draw and paint.” Y/N acknowledged, as she swirled her fork in her spaghetti.

Harry nods as he chews a mouthful of pasta and swallows. “Mhm, yeah. She does love painting the little bub.” Harry smiles, as he goes back to swirling his fork in his food.

“So you quit your job. Why’s that?”

Y/N let Harry chew on his pasta as she did the same. Harry sent her a lopsided grin as she smiled back at his silliness.

“Yeah, I quit the job. Boss didn’t like my clothing designs and I was jus’ tired of hearing him how he hated them. So, I quit the job and now I’m sending some off to other fashion designers see what they think. Hopefully I get a bloody job.” Harry beamed, his expression falling as he thought back to those years he was in that building. Designing and creating, but everything went to waste because of his boss not accepting them and just pushing them aside.

Y/N set her plate on the table and found Harry’s wandering eyes on his plate.  

“Harry. You’ll find a job soon. I know it must feel awful, but I know someone will find your work amazing as I find you amazing as a person, yeah?” Y/N comforted, her hand on his cheek. She grabbed a napkin and cleaned a corner of Harry’s pink lips. As she was brushing off the food off his lip Harry stared at her eyes that were so concentrated on cleaning his upper lip.

“You’re such an angel, love.” Harry whispered, his hand now landing on her cheek. She took off her eyes off his lips and looked directly at those precious emerald eyes that she has enjoyed staring at.

“Come with me.” Harry whispered, his smile present along with his dimples.  

“Where?” Y/N grinned

“Jus’ come with me.” He said, as he stared at her lovingly, his hand still on her cheek.  

Harry grabbed Y/N’s hand. Before they walked out from Y/N’s apartment, they put the leftover food in the refrigerator and they both walked towards Harry’s car.

The ride was silent. Harry would sneak little glances at Y/N when she wasn’t looking.  

After ten minutes of driving, they finally pulled up next to the house. Harry got out first and walked to Y/N’s door so he could open for her. Harry’s hand was still intertwined with Y/N’s.

Once they set foot on the house, Harry closed the door behind them and guided Y/N towards the hallway that she knew too well. Near the guest bedroom that she stayed in was another door that she has never been to.  

“Harry?”

Y/N felt strong hands, land on her shoulders and they swiftly dragged up to cover her eyes.

“I’m going to guide you from here, yeah?”

Y/N nods her head and starts walking when Harry begins walking behind her.

They stopped abruptly as Harry leaned over her shoulder and twisted the knob to open the door.

“Okay, we’re here.” Harry says. He removes his hands from Y/N’s eyes and lets her examine the room. The room that Harry has created so many clothes for people. Creations that he adored making and drawing.

“Harry… This is so beautiful. You designed these yourself?” Y/N asked. She was overwhelmed when she saw so many blouses, trousers, and even jewelry pieces that were on mannequins.  

Harry watched her as she admired pieces of clothing and drawings that were on a corkboard. She examined each sketch that were on his desk, sketches everywhere as if they were splashes of paint.

“I wanted to show it for so long. May I give you a tour, love?” Harry smiled as he offered her to take his hand.

“Please do, Harry.” Y/N beamed as she took a hold of Harry’s hand.

“I know you already started exploring on your own, but I jus’ wanted to personally give you a tour of the small space.” Harry beamed, his hold on Y/N’s hand never leaving. “Here are my latest designs I have sketched and those on my desk are jus’ ideas.” Harry informed. Y/N’s scanning through each little sketch.

“And this? Is this a dress?” Y/N asked, a particular sketch she was holding in her hand.

“Yes! That is a dress that I am planning on making for men and women to wear. I also wanted to make suits for women and some accessories. What do you think of this one?” Harry asked as he picked up one sketch that had a woman sketched wearing a navy blue suit.

“I love them Harry! Everything here is so unique and beautiful.” Y/N complimented, her eyes locking with Harry’s.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! I’ve never seen pieces of clothing so beautiful. These fabrics are amazing and the designs, oh my goodness, Harry. You’re such a fucking talent!” Y/N praised, her hand gently squeezing his.

“Thank you, love. The reason why I design these clothes is ‘cos I want people to feel comfortable in what they’re wearing. I don’t want them to feel as if they are forced to dress as because of their gender. I want them to embrace their individuality and that is what I do in everything I create.”

“You’re so passionate about fashion and designing fashion, Harry. You have probably changed so many lives with creations that you have designed and that’s so amazing! I adore this room and I adore your uniqueness in everything you do.” Y/N confessed. Her eyes looking down at their interlocked hands. “You’re amazing at what you do, and I adore that about you, Harry.”  

“You’re jus’ beautiful, Y/N. You always know what to say and how to make someone’s day better with that cute smile of yours, love.” Harry mused.

They both adored each other, it was obvious, but was it obvious to them? They were both perfect for each other. Harry was passionate and just a kind beautiful soul, whereas Y/N loved that about Harry and she was someone that Harry started to love and he loved her company. And best of all she’s an angel with Evie.

Harry led them both to the living room, he offered her some water but she politely refused. Harry then walked towards the vintage player near a shelf of books. He turned it on as slow music started to play.

Harry walks back to Y/N as she was sitting on the couch.

“Dance with me, Y/N?” Harry asks his smile never leaving. Y/N pinched her lip and grabbed a hold of Harry’s hand in hers.

“Just promise me you won’t step on my feet.” Y/N beamed, her smile as big as ever.

“I promise, love.” Harry says as he twirls her and Y/N lets out a giggle.

Harry swayed himself and Y/N along the empty floor of the living room. His hand gently holding onto her back. His chin resting on top of Y/N’s head, smiling. Y/N grinned as she hid her head on Harry’s chest. She smelled the familiar cologne. Vanilla and forest woods filled her senses. His hands felt so gentle and soft. Everything about him was just amazing and pure. So she left her head there, not daring to look up at beautiful eyes that she would always lose herself while looking at them. His touch was soft, soft breaths were heard more than the music playing in the background. And his heart. His precious, beating heart making her relax and close her eyes while she was in his arms. But she opened them and felt Harry remove his chin from her head. He looked down at her, admiring the sight in front of him. Y/N did the same. Her eyes intently staring at those green hued eyes. They were so close that they could feel each other’s breaths. They were mere inches from touching noses, and lips. Harry continued swaying them both as Y/N held onto Harry tighter. They were so close to touching lips, but before Harry could lean in, Y/N moved her face away and was prepared to sneeze, (fake sneeze). She detached from his arms and went to the kitchen island and retrieved her glass of water.

“Oh. Bless you, love.” Harry said as he ran a hand through his curls.

Y/N hums in response and sips onto her water, eyes wide from the last moments that she shared with Harry.  

Harry stood in the middle of the living room, his fingers pinching his lower lip.

“Ha-,”

“Y/N-,”

“You go first.” Harry said. A soft smile on his face.

“I think I’m going to head out, Harry.”

“Let me drive ya, yeah?” Harry offered, his hands deep in his trousers pockets.

“No, I’m fine, Harry. I’ll just catch the bus again.”

Harry shook his head in disapproval. He walked where he left his keys and grabbed his jacket and Y/N’s.  

“I’m taking ya, love. I don’t trust bus drivers, especially at this time.” Harry added. Y/N nodded her head and grabbed her jacket from Harry’s hand.  

She couldn’t say no to his offer. Why would she decline? She wanted to spend as much time with him even though their time was limited because they were heading towards her apartment where she would dread of saying goodbye to him. But she was too stubborn to kiss him back and instead of kissing him back she decided to fake sneeze. What a classic save.

Harry drove, his sights on the road, but there would be tiny moments and glance at Y/N. He wanted to kiss her so bad. Why did she have to sneeze? He wanted those, he wanted her. Not sexually, but he just wanted more time with her. Times where they can hang out with each other and talk about personal stories and talking more about what they love doing. He wanted that so bad. He wants to be honest with her, but he feels like it won’t end up well.

The car ride came to a stop when Harry pulled up to Y/N’s apartment. Y/N was about to jump out of Harry’s car when Harry stopped her by holding onto her hand.

“Goodnight, love.” He smiled, his eyes tired.

Y/N smiled back and told him the same. They said goodbye and Y/N was walking up to her apartment as Harry drove off once he made sure she was in her apartment, safely. She prepared herself to go to bed and she lied down on her bed staring up at the ceiling.

Fuck! What the fuck was she going to do? She couldn’t just lean in and kiss him. She didn’t like Harry that way, or did she? Either way, she was relieved that they didn’t kiss it would have worsened the friendship that they had. She couldn’t do it, she couldn’t kiss him and act as if the kiss never happened. And with that, with that she was glad that she leaned away from him. But for the rest of the night she couldn’t fall asleep. She knew she wanted to kiss him so bad and there was no way that she was going to doubt it, gosh how she wanted to kiss those beautiful heart-shaped lips of his. How much she really wanted to tell him that she has been loving him ever since the first time he started calling her to hang out or those times when he would simply invite her so she could spend more time with him and Evie. Why was she too stubborn to tell him that she wanted more, that she craved more than what they already were? Why was she scared? Why won’t she tell him?

Why won’t he tell her?  

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this part! Next part is going to be up hopefully by next week. (That’s my plan!!) Love you all so much and I would love to hear what you thought, and your feedback is always appreciated! Much Love! 💞❤💕💕