#also i hate the icon border i made for this blog

[heartsbreaking-migrated]

the desire to make edited icons for this blog vs the worry that a) i have an ungodly amount of muses and b) that i'll eventually change my psd and never have icons again

[jaxt0y]

-- 𝙃𝙀𝙔, 𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍𝙔𝘽𝙊𝘿𝙔, let's all take a peek at the 𝕋𝔸𝕃𝕃, ℙ𝕌ℝℙ𝕃𝔼 𝔽ℝ𝔼𝔸𝕂 - he's the jerk with the ＪＯＫＥ of the week . . . 𝑾𝑯𝑶 𝑵𝑬𝑬𝑫𝑺 𝑯𝑰𝑴 ?

[ 1 ] :   INTRO.  hi! my name is mae, i'm 25, i use she/her pronouns & i go by est. this is my semi - selective, low activity rp blog for jax of "the amazing digital circus." icon border & psd are both by jessources. all graphics here are made by me unless stated otherwise.

[ 2 ] :   ETIQUETTE.  you know the rules.  no godmodding, bigotry, racism, forcing ships, or hate of any kind . jax is an ass who loves to mess with others for the fun of it, it's literally nothing personal against your muse, but i will never godmod. just be a decent person i don't do well with drama & i dislike callout culture & i won't be participating in it in any way. of course i want to know who to avoid, but i would prefer these things to be handled & discussed privately & maturely. do not follow if you are a minor or if you use/support: amber heard, gina carano, evan peters, chris pratt or scarlett johanson. if any drama occurs or has occurred with someone i know, i am open to discussing it calmly & in private.

[ 3 ] :   FOLLOWING.  if i follow you,  it means i want to write with you! . if not, it's likely because i can't see our muses clicking well or that i am unfamiliar with the fandom. i will soft block if you don't make an effort to interact with me ooc or ic for some time. i will block you if you break any of my rules.

[ 4 ] :   TRIGGERS & NSFW. triggers you might find on this blog include: themes of existentialism, dissociation, & some violent behavior. i will be tagging triggers as: "trigger cw" & will happily tag anything if asked. my own triggers include: dissociation/depersonalization/derealization, body horror, trypophobia, & eye gore. i'm happy to write nsfw themes so long as we've spoken beforehand!

[ 5 ] :   ACTIVITY & FORMATTING.  my activity is typically sporadic no matter the blog. i do have a life outside of rp & my own mental health to look after. sometimes i'm able to write many replies a day, others only one or none at all. patience in regards to replies is much appreciated & expected. my lengths are usually multi para but they can be shorter or longer depending. never be afraid to send random asks, multiple memes, or turn answers into threads! i love collecting a variety of prompts, but i’m privy to deleting them if they’ve been sitting for awhile or if i can’t think of anything good enough, same goes for threads. sometimes i’ll post one-liner starter calls, but you never have to match my length exactly but i do expect something to go off of. i use small, bold, & italic text. you also do not have to match my formatting & i implore you to tell me if you need it changed for accessibility purposes. my eyesight is not the best, so i ask you to please avoid screenshot-ed replies or using too much fancy text.

[ 6 ] :   SHIPPING. i love shipping with all my heart, exploring dynamics no matter what they may entail is my favorite thing, especially with a complicated guy like jax. he's very closed off & not the most in tune with his emotions, so good luck if you do want to explore a relationship with him (just be sure to talk to me first!). lastly, i ship funnybunny & bunnydoll, but if you write pomni or ragatha i will never expect you to ship with me unless, yet again, we've talked about it. i see jax as panromantic & pansexual.

[ 7 ] :   PORTRAYAL. since tadc is ongoing, my portrayal is subject to change as episodes are released. i know that jax is a jerkwad, but i love to see what makes characters tick, & as of now i don't see him as this irredeemable asshole, just someone who relies on self preservation to survive.

AFFILIATES: @pomniegranate

[chemicalbrew]

tagged

by @radellama thanks bestie!!!

1. why did you choose your url?

multiple reasons:

I chose chemicalbrew as my go-to handle everywhere important, because the handle I picked for this purpose as a teen is cringe

I like having canon URLs; especially if they are kind of hard-to-get and\or subtle references, which this one is perfect for, IMO. The last time I felt good about a handle in this sense was when I went by theplanetbuster

I like katzero :) a normal amount :) and I always will I think :)

Chemical Brew is just a good track and I love being reminded of its existence every time I log on anywhere.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

I'm too lazy to upkeep them, so I compensate with my tagging system... Well, there is actually one where I wanted to put my writing if I ever did any, but in the end all writing I do is roleplay stuff on discord that's not meant to be shared widely HELP. And what I do end up getting out once in a blue moon, I just put on AO3...

I used to hoard a whole lot of URLs, but I got scared of getting terminated for a second time, so aside from the almost empty writing blog I mentioned earlier, I just hoard five that I'd hate to see anyone else have (some of these I used to go by, too)

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

Almost ten years; I haven't remade once, so you can see this just by going to the archive (don't do that, actually)

4. do you have a queue tag?

I do, and it's a Transistor reference :) I can count on my hands the amount of times I've queued stuff, though.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

Found this place while looking for Zelda fanart; thought it would be easier to use the dashboard instead of checking individual pages. At least I think that was the biggest reason. IDR

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Zero I like him :) At this point it feels wrong if I don't have him as my pfp on here and\or discord so... here he is!!! (since I'm still Four on discord) Not to mention that I kinda need him here to match the rest of my stuff.

I put the NB flag border for Pride month this year for fun and I'm too lazy to put the old version back (also, once again, I like weird subtle shit like that.).

7. why did you choose your header?

I always choose my headers with purpose, though it's not quite the case here: this is a holdover from when I was cherrymegablaster, and it's meant to directly complement that URL in a way that's obvious if you played the game. LOL

I kept it because it's funny to call a drink a chemical brew (and because there's not enough DLC footage for me to make a nice gif with. There's a few stills I really like, but I prefer my headers animated!) ...and because I'm just really happy with the gif.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

I can't be assed to use the site that scans for this stuff and I'm not proud of my ancient random shit that blew up a bit anyway. So... I'll just tell you this gifset I made on a whim is the one with the most notes.

I REALLY hope the rainbow katzero set outpaces it one day because it's also continuously showing up in my activity and it's easily the one I put the most work into. I need to get off my ass and make more gifs!!!

9. how many mutuals do you have?

...does anyone keep count of that? just the right amount to keep me happy :3

10-11. how many followers do you have? how many people do you follow?

343 \ 1414. why are these such nice numbers

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Yes, but I don't post them, I just send them to my friends on discord. I'd say hatewar but it's on fire alone counts as a collaborative shitpost of the highest tier, but barely anyone knows what I mean and I love it.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Ehhh, it depends... I know I check my activity mostly every morning just in case, and I check the dod3 and katzero tags once or twice a week, but it's not a strict schedule thing, I forget sometimes :] The tags are slow anyway, and I have sooo many active katzero posters blocked that it's even slower for me :p

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

I don't think so..? Definitely not in public, I've had arguments with friends I made here, but it's a different thing. I think everyone on my dash is largely chill and has moved on past the disk horse or whatever the fuck

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

DO PEOPLE STILL MAKE THESE...

16. do you like tag games?

That and 'reblog and put your opinion on X \ what you did today' is always really fun, I <3 being annoying about minor details in my boring life (also I'm literally doing one rn, aren't I)

17. do you like ask games?

Yes, but I never get any asks, so I don't reblog them too often. :]

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

@/ositia, they're a very good artist and I miss seeing them around

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

I have only had two crushes in my life, and one of them was on a former mutual I've drifted apart from. I know he won't be reading this cause he blocked me, but I still think about him and I hope he's moved to a nice enough place, at least :")

20. tags

uuugh just do this if you want to

[pois1ns]

𝘛𝘏𝘐𝘚 𝘐𝘚 𝘈 𝘉𝘙𝘈𝘕𝘋 𝘕𝘌𝘞 𝘚𝘛𝘈𝘙𝘛 , 𝖠𝖭𝖣 𝖨 𝖳𝖧𝖨𝖭𝖪 𝖨 𝖣𝖤𝖲𝖤𝖱𝖵𝖤 𝖲𝖮𝖬𝖤 𝖯𝖱𝖠𝖨𝖲𝖤

━━━━━━━━ 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 ! 🩷

𝑷𝑳𝑨𝒀𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻. 🩷 𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑻. 🩷

[ 1 ] :   INTRO.  hi! my name is mae, i'm 25, i use she/her pronouns & i go by est. this is my highly - selective, low activity rp blog for angel dust of "haz.bin hotel." icon border, header template, theme template & psd are both by jessources. all graphics here are made by me unless stated otherwise.

[ 2 ] :   ETIQUETTE.  you know the rules.  no godmodding, bigotry, racism, forcing ships, or hate of any kind . just be a decent person i don't do well with drama & i dislike callout culture & i won't be participating in it in any way. of course i want to know who to avoid, but i would prefer these things to be handled & discussed privately & maturely. if any drama occurs or has occurred with someone i know, i am open to discussing it calmly & in private. another thing i won't tolerate is hate for certain ships or characters on this blog. i am here to explore all dynamics.

[ 3 ] :   FOLLOWING.  if i follow you,  it means i want to write with you! . if not, it's likely because i can't see our muses clicking well or that i am unfamiliar with the fandom. i will soft block if you don't make an effort to interact with me ooc or ic for some time. i will block you if you break any of my rules.

[ 4 ] :   TRIGGERS & NSFW. triggers you might find on this blog include: themes of heavy drug use/substance abuse, addiction, SA, suicidal ideation, SW slurs, self harm, child abuse, abusive relationships, guns, depression, and disassociation. i will be tagging triggers as: "trigger cw" & will happily tag anything if asked. my own triggers include: dissociation/depersonalization/derealization, body horror, trypophobia, & eye gore. i'm happy to write nsfw themes so long as we've spoken beforehand! obviously, there will be sexual themes here as well. i will never write it with anyone who is uncomfortable with doing so; i, however, am perfectly fine writing it. sidenote: angel is intersex as well as hypersexual - he is also a gay man; while he does provide his services to and work with women, he does it for that reason only. i will only be shipping angel with non-female muses.

[ 5 ] :   ACTIVITY & FORMATTING.  my activity is typically sporadic no matter the blog. i do have a life outside of rp & my own mental health to look after. sometimes i'm able to write many replies a day, others only one or none at all. patience in regards to replies is much appreciated & expected. my lengths are usually multi para but they can be shorter or longer depending. never be afraid to send random asks, multiple memes, or turn answers into threads! i love collecting a variety of prompts, but i’m privy to deleting them if they’ve been sitting for awhile or if i can’t think of anything good enough, same goes for threads. sometimes i’ll post one-liner starter calls, but you never have to match my length exactly but i do expect something to go off of. i use small, bold, & italic text. you also do not have to match my formatting & i implore you to tell me if you need it changed for accessibility purposes. my eyesight is not the best, so i ask you to please avoid screenshot-ed replies or using too much fancy text.

[ 6 ] :   SHIPPING. i love shipping with all my heart, exploring dynamics no matter what they may entail is my favorite thing, and i implore you to come to me if you'd like to explore a dynamic of any kind with our muses! note that angel as a whole is very flirtatious. this does not always mean he is interested. angel is also an adult film star, this does not mean he is interested should your muses sleep together. while i am willing to explore toxic dynamics, i will never, ever write acts of SA. lastly, i only ship angel with husk at this time. that being said, if you write husk i will never assume you want to ship with me, personally. if you write valentino, i am open to exploring pre-canon val.angel as well as au's with the two.

[ 7 ] :   VERSES. i will make a post to attach to this later describing them in greater detail (as well as angel's backstory), but my verses for angel are in life, pre-contract, pre-hotel, swap angel based on this au, and an overlord au.

[valentinesie]

WELCOME TO VALENTINESIE'S PAGE!!

Gaybian lesboy aroace agender gothic, aroace omni sapphic, lazy decked (devils candy) turigirl icons, circled and bordered, horsegender gay, bunnygender gay flags with soft colours, bipan lesboy, Butch/futch/femme gaybian, techcore gaybian,

about, byf, dni ; under the cut!

‹𝟹‹𝟹‹𝟹 ABOUT valentine

◟◟001. the names! !

You can call me Valentine, Sephiroth, or Caelian (kah-eh-lian) I will always answer to those! more here

◟◟002. the head! !

Attention! I am borderline and histrionic, which are commonly tied together. I also have autism && generalized anxiety disorder, linked with paranoid personality disorder!

◟◟003. the identity! !

My pronouns are here. I'm a femme girlboyflux abro bisexual velaurian! I'm also a lesboy, a turigirl and much more! Otherkin stuff includes but is not limited to: angelkin, idolkin, vampkin && more

◟◟004. likeslikes! !

Psycology, sociology, philosophy, typology, sciences, mathematics, writing, poems, reading, literature, hoarding stuff, nge, ff7, tloz, cute stuff, hello kitty, and much more!

‹𝟹‹𝟹‹𝟹 ABOUT the blog

◟◟001. will do! !

⠀⋆˒ xenogenders coining

⠀⋆˒ flag making

⠀⋆˒ flag combos

⠀⋆˒ names, pronouns or titles finds

⠀⋆˒ radinclu stuff

⠀⋆˒ Icons (♡)(♡)(♡)

◟◟002. won't do! !

⠀⋆˒ radqueer/transx stuff

⠀⋆˒ exclu, panphobic, blerf, terf, radfem flags

⋆˒ "x hating" flag

⠀⋆˒ overall stuff that fits my dni

⠀⋆˒ system / plural stuff! (I'm a singlet so...)

◟◟003. Byf! !

I love to defend the things I appreciate or enjoy!

I am autistic and borderline, I struggle reading tones and tend to take everything, too personally. It's nothing against anyone! If I get agressive, for a reason that might be futile, just kindly tell me!

If you block me, I might ask why. Not knowing the reasons makes me really anxious. I aspire to improve myself and so, I need to know what made you block me.

If I repost someone, it doesn't mean I support their whole blog, it just means this post somehow correlates to my opinion or to what I like. Naturally, I won't repost it if I knows the person dni && fit it.

Anyone can use my flags, just be respectful and credit me. My flags don't "support" nor "don't support" anything. Me making them has nothing to do with queer discourse.

Don't be rude, when I say something, it means I have arguments and reasons. Instead of randomly bashing me at the smallest things, ask for explanations! I'll kindly share them.

I support "contradictory" labels, this includes but is not limited to: mspec lesbian, mspec gay, lesboys, turigirls, trans women gays, trans men lesbian, etc!

◟◟004. Dni! !

If you are anti-mogai or think xenos/neos aren't valid.

If you think non-binaries can't be gay/lesbians or if you don't support he/him lesbians or she/her gays.

If you do not support "contradictory labels"

If you fakeclaim.

Against otherkin, non-humans, therian, etc!

Doesn't support self dx.

Dmsp, South park, fnaf and genshin fans, unless I follow first.

Pedos, shotacons, lolicons, maps, proshippers, etc or anyone who support those!

If you demonize the cluster b (npd, bpd, hpd, aspd) and this includes if you belive that narcissistic abuse exist.

Under 13, unless I follow first.

If you are pro-contact paraphilia.

Don't cw/tw

If you're going to judge me or mock me/my interests.

Exclus or "Safequeers" ("inclusive" term that excludes mspec lesbians/gays and lesboys/turigirls && more.

Transmeds, transcums, gender skeptics, gender police, etc.

Anti-ageres.

Any kind of bigot.

‹𝟹‹𝟹‹𝟹 ABOUT the tags

ᨳ🎀﹕the prinzessin herself ﹕ my hoard!

ᨳ💌﹕a letter from the citizens ﹕ inbox!

ᨳ🦇﹕the winged one speaks ﹕ text posts!

ᨳ🌹﹕a gift for one's subject ﹕ coinning post!

ᨳ🐈‍⬛﹕rise the flag ﹕ flag making!

ᨳ🍓﹕prinzessin help usᵎ﹕ prns && name finds!

ᨳ💗﹕subject's portrait﹕icons ^_^

[caduceuss]

#𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐄𝐔𝐒𝐒    -    private    &    selective    /    mutuals    only    BAIZHU    of    GENPACT.    highly    NSFW    and    dark    themes    present.    DO    NOT    FOLLOW    IF    TRIGGERED    BY    SNAKES.    minors    do    not    interact.    mun/muse    25+.    heavily    headcanon    based.    MULTIVERSE    /    MULTISHIP    /    AU    /    CROSSOVER    /    OC    /    DUPLICATE    friendly. penned    by    Goose    (    29    /    she    +    her    /    CST    -    5    ) carrd.  -  art credit. -  temp.

𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬: @eunoirous , @zhongshen , @raeso , @foliarlight , @ksharhrewar

𝐈. This blog is PRIVATE, SELECTIVE, and MUTUALS ONLY. I follow people I would like to interact with, as well as to make a point to keep my dash clean. If I follow you - please know it means I want to write!

This blog is also MULTIVERSE, MULTISHIP, CROSSOVER, OC, AU, and DUPLICATE friendly. I rarely do EXCLUSIVES or MAINS - unless my partner requests it. If that is the case, all relations will be listed here!

  𝐈𝐈. My activity can be sporadic at times, as this is a HOBBY and I refuse to force myself to write. Additionally, I run a number of other blogs on top of this one. However, given tumblr's penchant for not NOTIFYING me of things, please feel free to send me a poke of it seems like I have lost track of our thread.

I am a WORDY writer. I have a hard time doing short threads seriously, though I can make an attempt. I don't expect my partner's to match me word for word, and QUALITY over QUANTITY is always appreciated.

I DO format my posts and use icons, but do not expect the same. At this time I am able to use LTE - but if I notice my partner is using BTE I will switch to that as well!

  𝐈𝐈𝐈. None of the ART on this blog is mine unless stated otherwise. Any and all graphic resources will be credited here or on my carrd.

icon border.

A few other standard pieces of business: I hate DRAMA, do not drag me into it. I won't unfollow you for reblogging CALL OUT POSTS lest they be in excess. DNI if you, as a mun, condone or write pedophilia, incest, rape, etc. Racism, homophobia/biphobia, transphobia, ableism, etc by MUNS will not be tolerated here as well.

  𝐈𝐕. I absolutely love SHIPPING. Not only is it an excellent character development tool, but it is a great way to familiarize yourself with certain aspects of your muse. I am a HUGE shipper at heart and will ship about anything - from TOXIC, ROMANTIC, to PLATONIC. Obviously this does not apply to minor muses/minor muns or incest ships. No thanks.

I prefer to develop a bit of a repertoire with a mun before diving HEAD LONG into a ship so please feel free to slide into my DMs with any ideas or shipping suggestions you may have! Or even just to say hello. Seriously, I probably can find away to ship it.

  𝐕. AN IMPORTANT NOTE: Given the state of Baizhu's canon, a lot of this blog is headcanon based. As such I have made much of my portrayal morally grey/darker. I will not sacrifice this characterization for the sake of ships, or soften it in general. Additionally, this will blog contain a plethora of references to snakes and medicine, if either of these topics bother you, I would suggest not interacting.

I cannot reiterate this enough: NSFW may be highly present on this blog. If you are a minor or if your muse is a minor PLEASE DO NOT FOLLOW OR INTERACT. NSFW includes, but is not limited to: smut, violence, gore, drug use - etc. I will always make an attempt to tag triggers and place sexual content under a read more.

  𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐘 - my discord/UID is always available to mutuals on request. Please never be afraid to approach me!

[starwrote]

ind & selective genpact & honkai multimuse written by binx ( 21+ they/them ) headcanon based, divergent, and open to ocs. drama free zone, but not spoiler free. please read rules and muse roster with links listed here or on blog. icon border & dividers cred here. // mobile navigation including roster here. all new muses will be tentatively added here.

revamped 9/24 w/ new roster. always accepting memes to initiate things, but only accepting starter requests from the new starter call. a study in : testing fate and exploring what destiny means. a sense of loss and fear of the unknown. bountiful silver linings and overcoming failures. a written connection of the stars above.

feel like i missed a reply? please msg me or view this post for info.

& G U I D E L I N E S. FOR MOBILE

welcome to a multimuse loved dearly by binx (they/them, but will also respond to she. 21+ and CST.) I work fulltime as a pediatric pharmacist and have very limited time to be active on tumblr much, therefor I rely on a queue system to get me through workdays. aside from lack of freetime, my health often staggers me from doing anything due to a lot of pain and immense anxiety. If you do not like waiting quite a bit for replies, then I am not the writing partner for you sadly. 

credits. my blog theme was crated by MARUJA/HYRULESHOP with the link on the bottom right corner of the page. my icon border is made by poetryrph, and the psd was made by me. gold/yellow/pastel purple/blues.

this blog runs off of mutual exclusivity to interact. unfortunately my draft count is super high and i have to limit myself to what i can realistically take on in my small free time. i ask that if we do not have a mutual basis (aside from the exception of sideblogs) please do not interact with my starter calls / send in memes to interact. i also tend to hardblock personals who spam my posts or rb things not intended for personal fanfiction.

please to not pressure me to reply faster or into a ship. sometimes i go all week without a single post other than ooc updates. those who are in the medical field would understand my levels of exhaustion. i never ignore anyone, dms or discord, including posts tagged for me - tumblr eats things and i am most likely napping. please have chemistry or some sort of partnership with me before assuming a ship.

no hate zone, none what so ever. this again falls under the lines of me having 0 time to even know whats happening on the internet/tumblr itself. if i am writing with someone known to be problematic please let me know. i don’t involve myself with callouts even if they are helpful, and anon is off to keep unwanted issues even if it’s to bait drama. 

triggers. this goes with the rule listed above, vague blogging and callouts actually spike my anxiety pretty bad. i deal with a lot of negativity within my workplace and rely on this place to be safe for me. aside from this, i ask for all topics and images tagged regarding: spiders, eye gore, domestic abuse, pregnancy, and trypophobia.

i do not do commissions for edits / borders / etc. i just casually make things as i feel inspired. if anything it helps me ignite muse. if you need commissions i’d be happy to reference @hyruleshop.

let’s be kind to each other. that is all. always feel free to message me if you feel a need to connect muses, or just chat.

[pastincarnate]

the be honest meme: # 8, 14 and 34

Name any three things about the rpc that bother you. (8)

Elitism seriously were all here to have a good time and to write, not everyone is the same age has the same experience or even the same first language. It is one of those things that makes me block a blog. I get you want quality but how will anyone get better if we just don't rp with them?

Anon Cruelty It 2024 many of us have been here for years. We all know that Anon is there for side blogs and to allow people to chatter without being know. It used to be something wonderful. I remember the Pollyanna of 2020 when people left their inbox on anon so people could gift each other things like poetry, stories, icons, a kind message etc. Now it's just used to spread hate it seems or be mean. It's really brave to come at someone when they don't know who you are.

The belief that because someone doesn't use icons or doesn't have a fancy blog means they are less. This is so not true. I love you, I will write with you, Come to me. Like seriously, I am here, and I will write with just about anyone.

Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person? (14)

I would say positive I have made a lot of lasting friendships through rp, and I have met some other amazing people, that I would otherwise have never met if I had not been rping. This extends to off line as well I am also a tabletop gamer, I run a charity game of DND every year, and the money always goes to a worthy cause. ( Last year it was Doctors without borders ), This year it is for Diabetes. I can never see something that helps people in a negative light.

Have you ever cried while writing a reply? (34)

Yes I have. Its not a big surprise I am soft, I am a nurse XD I feel the pain -lol- Also, when I am promised fluff and get angst --lol--

[thoughtweak]

#THOUGHTWEAK   :   private   &   selective   mutuals   only   LAMINA   STONESHIRE    of   the   chronicles   of   narnia   series.   original   character   that   is   crossover   /   au   friendly.   written   by    tuesday,   25+,   she/her.   est.  2023.

EXPLORING : forgiveness, fate, courage, good is not weak, she didn't want to die she just wanted to get out of that house, loss of self, self-sacrificing, true companionship, the divine feminine, betrayal, and hidden bravery

She’s woven into me. Don’t you understand how one can be absolutely connected with somebody like that?

affiliated with @narniansagafamily // exclusive to canon narnia characters within group

close characters: @shebravery // @seymourrebellion // @sisterreign // @sisterqueen //

please note that this blog will/may contain heavy themes such as torture, murder, war, heavy mental health issues. all triggers will be tagged as 'trigger tw' ex. torture tw

"𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝. 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞. 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐫 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐲𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐭, 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐈 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐈 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐞. 𝐈'𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞."

see rules below

this is group-based roleplay blog for the original character lamina stoneshire from c.s. lewis' the chronicles of narnia. character timeline is pre the white witch. this blog has selective influences from the films - as well as other pop culture media, including a song of ice and fire/game of thrones, the tudors, reign, - as well as historical influences. this blog can be triggering! for anyone familiar with the series, there are heavy religious references, death, war & war mentions - and there may also be mentions of rape, abuse, torture, incest, etc. THERE WILL NEVER BE A THREAD ON THIS BLOG INVOLVING RAPE, OR DISCUSSING IT'S AFTEREFFECTS! all things will be tagged as such. i've read all the books and have seen all the films. please note that i do not send in passwords! discord available to mutuals. if the mun is under the age of 18, please do not follow this blog!

my name is tuesday. she/her pronouns, and 21+. i'm not opposed to smut and nsfw writing, so feel free to approach me about it - it is slightly rare that i write lamina as below 18, so most verses are open for this option. i will not write smut with anyone under the age of 18, or with a character who is under 18. this blog is a sideblog and follows back from theenchantingtm

i'm very selective with who i follow, and if i see you spewing hate of any kind (racism, transphobia, homophobia, bullying, etc.) you'll be blocked. i'm not here for toxic people of any kind, and if i get any kind of weird vibe from you or feel uncomfortable with you, you'll be unfollowed. if we are mutuals and you wish to unfollow me please soft block me to break my follow from you.

i don't personally follow / believe in banned fc's. if you use a cartoon / anime fc, i generally prefer to write with a human fc, but i'm not overly picky of this and when it comes right down to it i'll write with your regardless.

i'm exclusive, for numerous reasons. i am a member of a close-knit group and am exclusive to those characters. i am exclusive because i wish to explore lamina to the depths of her core and gain a better understanding of her, and find this easier with only one version of characters to write with. if you write a non-narnia canon character or any original character and are interested in becoming mains or exclusives, please let me know!

psd is made by somresources, icon border is by jessource. background is made by myself with textures collected over the years and also ones sent to me by friends. theme is coding by friends.

[petrifiedcrange]

Rules

First of all, thank you for visiting this page!)

I don’t have very long nor very strict rules, but there are a few things I’d like to point out:

And the main rule in interacting with me is that this blog is hate free. I don’t have anything against drama and hate as long as it stays within the threads and our muses’ relationships. But ooc drama and anon hate I just won’t tolerate. This is a hobby, after all. It shouldn’t be stressful.

I’m selective in a way that I will most likely answer to what I can see happening for my muse and what I have muse for at the moment, but I’m not mutuals only, which means that you are more than welcome to send me asks / memes / anything and come say hi in DMs even if we are not mutuals!

I’m OC and Crossover friendly, but if I’m not familiar with your character / fandom, it would be more comfortable for the both of us if you had an about page in your blog or wouldn’t mind telling me some basics about your character so I could see how our muses could click.

My main ships when it comes to Stede, Ed and Izzy are, of course, Blackbonnet, Blackhands and Steddyhands. However, both with them and with my other muses (except for Alma and Louis, for obvious reasons), I’m more than open to exploring other ships, as long as they’re based on chemistry. Honestly, I love shipping dearly, so don’t hesitate to come in my DMs if you think that our muses could be a couple - chances are that I’m already thinking about it)

That said, I’m more than open to the idea of a pre-established relationship! And it doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic one. I’m all for platonic, antagonistic, found family etc. kinds of dynamics. Just pop in my DMs, and I’m sure we can figure something out)

When it comes to asks/memes and open starters, as I’ve already said before, you are more than welcome to send them in, regardless of whether we are mutuals or interacted before. I love to chat and roleplay with new people! The date I posted the meme or open starter doesn’t matter either as they don’t have an expiration date)

Sending more than one ask is allowed and encouraged.

If you have an idea, there are big chances that I will try it, so don’t be shy to DM me!

My length very much depends on the particular thread and on my partner’s length, but I’m usually writing para/multi-para. I use minimal formatting - bold and italics ( also, small text at times, but only if you’re using it too / comfortable with it ) - and either 100x100 round icons with border or go iconless.

Due to the nature of the fandom, there will be dark and triggering themes on this blog, so it will be better for everyone if you’re 18+. I don’t really have triggers, but if you do - let me know about them and I’ll be tagging them.

Explicit NSFW stuff probably won’t be present here, as I don’t feel particularly comfortable writing sex so publicly (even though mun and most muses - except, of course, the Bonnet kids - are 18+). However, the events leading right up to it - as in teasing / light foreplay - and its aftermath might be present.

No God-modding, obviously.

If you are a personal blog, you are free to follow me, but, please, DO NOT like my starter calls and DO NOT reblog my threads.

I must admit that I can be quite slow with replies and a bit forgetful, so you are free to poke me once in a while. But don’t nag me constantly, that makes me nervous and uncomfortable.

If you follow me, I will most likely follow you back if I had a look at your blog, but I will unfollow you if you post too many unrelated to the theme of your blog content or make me feel uncomfortable.

All the graphics are made by me unless stated otherwise. Coloring PSD I use was made by @womenstuffs

[wolfgroom]

𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦. ❞

private and highly selective writing blog portraying THE WOLF from bullet train (2022). film and headcanon based, penned by tea.

standing trigger warning for blood and violence. the wolf is a former cartel mercenary turned assassin, and while im not one for graphic descriptions there will be mentions/descriptions of and/or imagery present on this blog that could potentially be triggering. all triggers known to be will be tagged with a "tw____" tag, if there is recurring content of mine that you need tagged, please do not hesitate to tell me!

001. shipping:  i am 27 years old, for my own comfort i will not be shipping with any writer below the age of 21. i am a huge fan of shipping but all romantic ships on this blog will be slow slow burn, seeing as the wolf would (rightfully) be hesitant to love again after what happened to his wife.

002. selectivity:  duplicate / oc / crossover - friendly,  most things can get figured out through plotting so don’t be deterred from following if your muse is an oc or from a different setting. i will however not follow blogs that post their replies as images, write real-life people, or post an overwhelming amount of hate or negativity. i hardblock on sight at any indication of  shipping and/or writing inc*st, nsfw involving minors, harmful stereotypes, or bigotry. if i do not follow you, please do not engage with my ic content, i will softblock if this rule is broken.  this blog is 18+ only,  if you do not have your age stated somewhere on your blog i will not follow you back.

003. activity: i work full time mon-fri, the speed of my replies do not reflect my interest but more so my workload offline. if you have a reply pending from me, feel free to ask the status of it if you are wondering, but keep in mind that i am not a quick writer.

004. interactions: liking interaction calls or sending memes are the best ways to start up interactions with me. mutuals are also welcome to drop into my IMS or ask about my disc - plotting with me can at times be like herding cats, but consider letting me test your patience anyway!

006. credits and resources:  icons,  graphics,  and borders are made by me,  but the psd is not.  my currently used psds are circus and silk by kingsleigh.

find me here: @foerger & @banehaunt.

[untowonder-gone]

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise? ⚜ How many people do you not like? ☀ What's your rp pet peeve? �� What fads/trends are you so over? ❀ What has made you completely lose your chill? ♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

the salty af munday meme ; accepting

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?

Mildly annoying? I guess, transitioning from LJ / DW rp to tumblr rp? It was pretty awkward for a time, as tumblr rp is very different from journal rp, which was closer to forum rp, but nothing like email rp. But I enjoy making icons, so the graphics part wasn't so bad. And the overall freedom to explore a character and build upon a preestablished world, etc. wasn't too overwhelming. I guess it was just the stylization, when it comes to how we're all supposed to be hella fancy and aesthetic that really got to me. Hunting for an open un was a very inconvenient affair.

I try to take things in stride, so I do my best to just ignore shit that does bug me over much. Though, for a while, with container blogs, just not being friendly for people with dyslexia like me. Or super small font. Or people who use obnoxious spacing and so-called fancy font. Like I said, it's not friendly for dyslexic persons.

⚜ How many people do you not like?

I have distanced myself from anyone I dislike.  I am incredibly fond of the block button,  if you must know.  But,  just to answer the question  :

There are a few people I rather dislike.  One person I would almost say I truly despise, loathe entirely. One person forced a ship on me, demanded I use a white FC for my very Asian character, and used to attempt to force me to cheat on my spouse with him. Another person actually caused me and my spouse to break up, but I really don't like discussing that. And the last person, the one I truly despise, is someone I will not openly discuss on this blog or any other.  I might be coaxed into talking about it over IMs or discord,  but I’d like to put the past behind me.

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

I personally double space between punctuation marks and quotation marks to better my reading experience, as it assists with my dyslexia. So, I normally have no problem with adding some extra space between words and such. I get it, it's aesthetic. On the other hand, overly space words and add in a bunch of unnecessary punctuation marks or symbols actually makes it incredibly hard for me to read, let alone understand what I'm looking at. It either starts to blur together or just becomes this blob that I cannot compute.

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

I love to make a very pretty border for my icons, like that isn't obvious, but I also just don't care for this sudden trend of cramming a dozen little symbols or images together to create the icons border. They look too busy, and sometimes make it difficult to actually look at the icon itself. I'm also not a fan of how border styles basically have to change every other week to keep up with the trends. Like you do you or whatever, but it's not for me.

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

I hate callouts. Like, if this shit can be solved over disco, ims, whatever the fuck, then be a grown ass adult and solve your issues. But I swear to god, some of yall will just callout someone because they're using a FACECLAIM that you're attached to. Get over yourself, move on. That isn't to say all callouts are bad. If you're out here trying to inform someone about a real predator hiding among the rpc, I totally understand. But, trust me, after escaping the hellhole of the Fate rpc, I honestly cannot stand callouts.

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

Everyone is very sweet. Or, at least, everyone I have met so far, and those I've interacted with. There is an underlying sense of elitism, but that's pretty common with any fandom, and I'm too old to care.  I also do separate myself from the over all fandom.  I generally do that with any fandom.

But,  leaning into the rp community only  :  everyone has thus far been pretty welcoming, and I am really enjoying just watching people interact or gush about these characters, and seeing people really start reaching out and researching topics that hold some sway over their muses. For instance, I love seeing people look into Welsh / Irish fae, and finding the differences in them and how their muse might be affected by this or that.  And,  obviously,  I really adore this Alice in Wonderland and Alice’s Adventures Through the Looking Glass revival I’m seeing.  It’s very cute watching others pull from the books over the disappointing live action films,  that aren’t the amazing BBC Through the Looking Glass film that came out years ago.

[thegracioustm]

#THEGRACIOUSTM   :  private & selective mutuals only ARLISE PEVENSIE of the chronicles of narnia series. original character that is crossover // au friendly. written by jess, 25+, she // her. est. 2009. PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG GIFSETS OR PHOTOS UNLESS YOU ARE A MEMBER OF NSF RPG.

private • heavily selective • highly plot driven • slow activity • 18+ only

affiliated with @narniansagafamily​

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! THIS BLOG CAN BE TRIGGERING.

please note that this blog uses the beta editor!

AN EXPLORATION OF : from poverty to royalty, abuse & trauma, destiny, power, war & it’s effect on the world, female rage, fallen kingdoms, true love & companionship, grief, unhappy endings, mother of orphans, bearing the sins of our fathers, your enemies being in power, the trauma of lost love & lost children, hope, kill the girl then let the woman grow, and survivor’s guilt. 

google doc • aesthetic • prompts • edits • chapters • narnian saga family

𝐒𝐢𝐱 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐣𝐨𝐤𝐞? 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐭

rules under read more

this is group-based roleplay blog for the original character arlise riordan-pevensie from c.s. lewis' the chronicles of narnia. character timeline is pre, during, and post the golden age. this blog has selective influences from the films - as well as other pop culture media, including a song of ice and fire/game of thrones, the tudors, reign, - as well as historical influences. this blog can be triggering! for anyone familiar with the series, there are heavy religious references, death, war & war mentions - and there may also be mentions of rape, abuse, torture, etc. THERE WILL NEVER BE A THREAD ON THIS BLOG INVOLVING RAPE, OR DISCUSSING IT'S AFTEREFFECTS! all things will be tagged as such. i've read all the books and have seen all the films. please note that i do not send in passwords! discord available to mutuals. if the mun is under the age of 18, please do not follow this blog!

my name is jess. she/her pronouns, 25+. this blog is open to smut with muses and muns 18+. all smut/ship threads will be thread dependent and not affect my general story for arlise. i will not write smut with anyone under the age of 18, or with a character who is under 18.

i'm very selective with who i follow, and if i see you spewing hate of any kind (racism, transphobia, homophobia, bullying, etc.) you'll be blocked. i'm not here for toxic people of any kind, and if i get any kind of weird vibe from you or feel uncomfortable with you, you'll be unfollowed. if we are mutuals and you wish to unfollow me please soft block me to break my follow from you.

i don't personally follow / believe in banned fc's. if you use a cartoon / anime fc, i generally prefer to write with a human fc, but i'm not overly picky of this and when it comes right down to it i'll write with your regardless.

i'm exclusive, for numerous reasons. i am a member of a close-knit group and am exclusive to those characters. if you write a non-narnia canon character or any original character and are interested in becoming mains or exclusives, please let me know!

psd is made by stephysource, icon border is by supersources. background is made by myself with textures collected over the years and also ones sent to me by friends. theme is coding by friends.

[bereft-of-frogs]

Who are your top 5 mcu characters and top 5 star wars characters? I guess is may change sometimes, but for now. :)

oh goodness. this is an excellent question. I think it probably will change, especially for Star Wars as I continue my rereading of the old book series stuff, digging back in and what-not; but also for both as new things are released. (I’m now like ‘omg the whole of the Wandavision crew needs way more consideration for this top 5 list than I ever thought I’d give them what’.) Sorry it’s taken a couple days! This was hard.

Putting it under a cut for length:

MCU:

1. Sam Wilson. This was really hard to choose between all of Team Cap because I love them all equally, but out of the three Winter Soldier crew, I love Sam the best. ‘...if you eat that sort of thing’ ‘So do you like cats?’ ‘I hate you’  #iconic

2. Loki & Thor. Okay here’s where I cheat a little, because I couldn’t choose one and not the other.

3. Valkyrie. I just love her. (Debated putting Hela here instead, because I also love Hela in a similar but opposite way, if that makes sense?)

4. Nick Fury. Fine in Avengers, loved him after Winter Soldier, loved him even more after Captain Marvel stripped down his cool exterior and revealed him to be a bit of a dork who liked cats and was willing to help with the dishes. I hope we get to see more of him.

5. Wanda. Oh my God, Wandavision just came out of nowhere with the Wanda feels, didn’t it? I will say I was lukewarm-neutral on her, and then Wandavision recontextualized so much of her story and made me feel so much about her.

Honorable Mentions: all of the Guardians of the Galaxy because I couldn’t just pick one; Captain Marvel herself came close to getting Fury’s spot (’I have nothing to prove to you’ sobs); Vision was another surprise ‘oh no where did these feelings come from’ character post-Wandavision, (same with Darcy wth happened); Jimmy Woo should get his own series I will sign the petition

Star Wars:

1. Mace Windu. Okay this is an deep abiding love. How could I not love him when I was 10? The man had a purple lightsaber. (Purple was my favorite color, that was pretty much the extent of my character analysis back then.) This has only been confirmed as an adult by all of Shatterpoint. This is officially a Mace Windu appreciation blog.

2. Obi-Wan Kenobi. How can you not?

3. Qui-Gon Jinn. I left the fandom for like 20 years and came back and apparently he’s ~~problematic~~ and yes I will finally admit it, this is the character I’ve been vague-ing about the AO3 tags being a cesspool. He’s just such an interesting character...and that has apparently translated to ‘he’s the worst’ which okay thanks for letting me know I won’t like your fic but...man, the ‘Qui-Gon was literally the worst’ is suddenly everywhere and I’m confused. (again ‘suddenly’ I haven’t been super active in this fandom in a while, it might not have been sudden. Not quite 20 years but it’s been a while and I never noticed back then, idk if it’s a new development or just the product of me trying to sift through AO3 instead of relying on recs...anyway that’s my #confession for the day)

4. Cassian Andor. Okay partially for superficial reasons because Diego Luna is distractingly pretty. But I also love the more serious take on the rebel who knows that he has to get his hands dirty for the cause. He and Jyn’s embrace on the beach at the end is honestly one of my favorite Star Wars moments.

5. Din Djarin. He’s just a man trying to get an education for his son and know as little as possible about the plot of Star Wars, who accidentally ends up winning in battle the rulership of a planet he’s never seen. Poor man. He’s just doing his best. I can’t wait for next season.

Honorable Mentions: K-2SO was hilarious and the rest of the Rogue One crew should technically share the spot with Cassian but Diego Luna is just so pretty; the nanny/assassin droid that Taika Waititi played in The Mandalorian because I always surprise myself by crying when he sacrifices himself in the last episode; literally every female character because my list, like James Luceno, impressively does not pass the Bechdel Test (oof I’m aware, I get it, but I had to narrow this down to 5, and I’m sorry); special mention to Bo-Katan even though I’ve only seen two episodes with her in them (I didn’t, and honestly probably won’t, watch The Clone Wars) but also I might just have a crush on Katee Sackhoff...

Narrowing these down to 5 was super hard, this was quite the challenge, and I only cheated a little there, thank you anon. Sorry it’s taken me a couple days! This was hard! XD And I’m sure it will be updated as things progress with the Marvel series coming out. Also I just got a PS4 and Jedi Fallen Order from my brother in the mail, yes I did have him ship his old PS4 across a closed international border so I could play Fallen Order (and also nothing else is giving me serotonin any more and the internet suggests trying something novel to get the serotonin molecules boogieing, so let’s see if my video game redemption arc is a go).

[the-empress-of-snark]

First, I would like to publicly make an apology to JD, the mod from Tomione Finds who initially reached out to me. I was already a bit agitated, and ended up misreading what she was trying to say to me and reacting impulsively instead of processing tthings calmly. 

It was genuinely not my intention for her to be hurt in this situation, but she was and for that I am very sorry. 

So, my initial reaction to kyoki's post was not to bother dignifying such obvious hyperbole with a response. 

Like, seriously, painting me as Fandom Satan so you can pin your flounce from fandom on me is just so wildly attention seeking it borders on the absurd. 

Your post was deliberately inflammatory, completely fabricated and designed solely to smear me, and your criticism that I've never provided evidence was  inaccurate as well as ironic, given that you...don't. 

That shit is exactly the kind of behavior I've been talking about. 

I then realized that staying silent isn't the answer. 

There are folks who might also be experiencing bullying in our fandom community, but feel uncertain if it qualifies as such or is more a personal conflict. Or maybe they're scared to speak up or come forward out of fear of retaliation - such as being smeared as toxic or untruthful like I was.  

Here's the thing. Your feelings are all valid. 

You know what you're experiencing, I know what I've experienced, and no amount of shouting down and being called a liar will ever change that. 

I'm also just going to point out that while my old blog was active, I talked about my experiences with bullying extensively, on more than one occasion. 

If I was going to be called out as a liar and a shit stirrer, that was literally a golden opportunity to do so. But the reason why that didn't happen at the time - a culture of silence that reinforces unequal power dynamics - is part of what I've been talking about. 

The thing about bullying is that it isn't necessarily someone walking up to you and punching you in the face. More frequently, it's subtle, low key, and perpetrated in a way that makes you doubt yourself. 

Here are a few examples of my experiences.

As if I have to state the obvious, reblogging someone's art with shitty tags in order to make fun of it is bullying. 

Also, I had never interacted with this person.  

Next, I only ever shared this privately with a couple people. It was nice of this person, who I'd been on friendly terms with, to let me know what they really thought of me and my writing. (Edit 7/21/21: I'm not gonna shield the identity of assholes any more)

That's some epic level passive aggressiveness right there.

And then just before I deleted,

There is a factual inaccuracy here. I did not ever regularly post in the tag, let alone posts regarding my experiences.

And then there is this:

This was created in June 2018 for members of the Tomione discord, but the history behind it goes back to January 2015. The term and its use was a significant part of my falling out with Nerys and Serpentinred, with the latter deeming it as a 'demeaning slur.' 

Which isn't...exactly what I said in our last email exchange. 

I worded this clumsily, I admit, but I was trying to describe how I felt - using I statements. I did not ever once use the term as a pejorative against her, and she's free to bring forth any evidence that I did. 

At that point though, it didn't matter, though I apologized to both of them in subsequent emails.  They were angry, and immediately severed any relationship I had with them, which was their right to do. 

So, a few years later, these same people suddenly appeared in the Discord using these Inner Circle icons, and offering them up for members of the chat to use. In a variety of colors. No one there had any idea that this was, in reality, a very pointed slight directed at me. 

There's really no way to explain this away as an innocent effort to make something fun for the chat, or as a joke, given the repeated assertion that the term was a slur. 

Somewhere along the line, their feelings toward the term must have changed, because both of them used the icon.

And no, there's been no "owning up" to this. Taking responsibility for your actions involves actually addressing shit with the person you harmed, and not minimizing the effect this had on me as “whining about a button”. 

I have now provided evidence to support my statements regarding my experiences with bullying in fandom. I did not at this time include less easily categorized vague posts made where I wasn't specifically named, but if I read it, it would be clear that I was the person being referred to. These were posts where I was accused of using slurs, or impersonating an artist in order to harass someone.

These posts are still damaging, though, in the sense that they're deliberate misrepresentations designed to create social/fandom harm to the people being talked about, and are examples of covert bullying/relational aggression. 

Which brings me to an observation I'd like to make regarding the angry, almost aggressive disparagement of myself and others speaking, even privately, about our experiences as 'spreading garbage behind our backs'. 

It's hypocritical. It's a double standard, given multiple posts that have been made about me, and honestly, it's concerning that someone could possibly expect to exert that much control over what people say about them, even privately. 

For example, if you and your friends want to chat about how much of an asshole you think I am, and how much you hate me, that's entirely your prerogative, and I have no control over that. You're perfectly free to express your opinion of me on your blog. The reverse holds true as well. Once you start making false accusations, though, it's a different story.

Lastly, I guess if there is anything I would like to see come from this, it would be for folks not to feel hesitant or uncomfortable about either speaking out about their own experiences, or openly being supportive of other people without fear of retaliation.  Because after the actual incidents, the sense of isolation was about the worst. 

Ultimately, this isn't about being liked or having conflicts due to differences in opinion. This is about actively engaging in behaviors, or encouraging others to engage in behaviors to purposefully cause harm. It's about isolating and marginalizing people you don't like and stripping them of support within the community. 

It's unacceptable. 

[nomanwalksalone]

ALTERNATIVE STYLE ICON: RICHARD CHAMBERLAIN IN WALLENBERG: A HERO’S STORY

by Réginald-Jérôme de Mans

The writer George Santayana famously wrote that those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Ironically many who repeat his quote forget who first uttered it.

I had long meant to write about Richard Chamberlain in this role. I once referred to him as “the fey king of the miniseries” and I don’t regret it: foppish, almost milquetoast in fare as varied as a two-part TV version of The Bourne Identity (with Jaclyn Smith, natch), Shogun, and as a leading candidate for an honorary Seinfeld puffy shirt: Not only did he play the Count of Monte Cristo in a 1975 TV movie, but a bunch of what Elaine Benes would have called chandelier-swinging characters in other Dumas adaptations, including Aramis in Richard Lester’s The Three Musketeers and Louis XIV and his twin in The Man in the Iron Mask. Postmodern swashbuckler author Arturo Perez-Reverte even described a character in one of his own novels as looking “like Richard Chamberlain in The Thorn Birds, only more manly.” That same Thorn Birds role, Father Ralph de Bricassart, also inspired a certain Rhunette Ferguson to give her son, a future New York Jets player, perhaps my favorite name ever: D’Brickashaw.

Dubbing Chamberlain an Alternative Style Icon for his role as Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg is low-hanging fruit. For years this TV special dwelt at the bottom of my Netflix queue for that express purpose. Former Savile Row tailors Manning & Manning won an Emmy award for the outfits they made for him; decades later Bryan Manning had some very interesting things to say to the inimitable Simon Crompton of Permanent Style about the 1930s and 1940s cutting styles he had to adopt for Chamberlain’s outfits for the movie. Chamberlain’s costumes are appropriately dashing, from the full diplomatic gala white tie ensemble worn while conspiring with the Papal Nuncio of Budapest to a tan double-breasted suit with horizontal peaked lapels that is, quite simply, magnificent. Zagreb, one of the most beautiful cities in eastern Europe, admirably filled in for 1940s Budapest and Stockholm in the making of this production. I’m fairly certain that I’ve stayed at the Zagreb hotel on whose esplanade Chamberlain wore that suit, in an early expository scene where the American and Swedish governments encourage Wallenberg to take a position with the Swedish legation in Budapest.  I’ve been told Zagreb’s one of two cities in Europe where the street lamps in certain neighborhoods are still gaslit. Gaslighting happens to have been one of the reasons that I finally wrote about this icon.

Of course there’s plenty to mock in the conventions of this telefilm, even beyond Chamberlain’s indisputable 1970s and 1980s stock hero status: its heavy-handed setup and plotting, making Wallenberg out to be a one-man anti-Nazi force from his time at home in Sweden (wearing a U. Michigan sweatshirt to indicate that he had studied in the US - did college sweatshirts even exist back then?). Miniseries meant melodrama and its archetypal characters: an adorable child whom Wallenberg saves from the death camps only to die of illness; a shoehorned-in love interest in the form of a kindhearted baroness who lobbies her suspicious husband to relax the Hungarian government's strictures on Jews; a fiery Hungarian resistance fighter who provides the unofficial, combative counterpoint to Wallenberg’s diplomatic, humanitarian efforts through official channels. And, of course, Wallenberg’s kidnapping by the Soviets at the fall of Budapest meant his story was perfectly framed for 1985, when we still couldn’t trust those Russians. (In fact, to this day no one knows what they did with him.)

A few appropriately haunting and powerful moments do ring true, including Wallenberg’s cordial verbal fencing matches over contraband Scotch and cigarettes with Adolf Eichmann. Whether those meetings really took place in that form or not, their film versions appropriately capture the realities of how we are forced to engage with evil. Rarely are we simply battling an easily identifiable other, weapon to weapon. Instead, we encounter evil in the everyday – in fact, it seeks us out, finds shared ground, converses with us over pleasantries and hospitality even as we recognize its intentions. It identifies with us, we identify with it. Even as you know it is evil.

Eichmann had made it his avowed duty to kill the Jews of Europe. Wallenberg’s mission, as an emissary of an officially neutral power, was to help save as many as he could. And he did, through famously fearless, reckless endeavors including the distribution of thousands of official-looking Swedish passes to the Jews of Budapest, the creation of vast cultural centers and warehouses in the Swedish mission buildings in which these new countrymen could work under the aegis of their adoptive country, and savvy diplomatic maneuvering with the Hungarian and German authorities and military. He went as far as to climb on top of a train bound for Auschwitz and distribute passes to as many deportees as he could while soldiers fired shots at him. Looking back, historians suggest they were firing over his head to warn him as they could easily have dropped him at that range, but it’s not likely Wallenberg knew that at the time.

At that time diplomats of neutral powers could make fortunes more safely as armchair heroes: playboy Porfirio Rubirosa reportedly did so in Paris selling visas to the Dominican Republic to French Jews during World War II. In that respect, perhaps, both he and Wallenberg were heroes… of different sorts.

Wallenberg did not do it for money. The Wallenbergs were Swedish aristocracy (with, the film takes pains to remind us, an ounce of Jewish blood) with considerable means – hence the finely tailored wardrobe for Chamberlain. Thus, an easy cynical response to this essay could be that a rich aristocrat with diplomatic immunity risked nothing swanning around the salons of Budapest, just like the fictional gentleman spies we read about and watch on screen.

That response is wrong. Heroism is not just born of opportunity. It is recognizing when a choice confronts you and taking the difficult, unpopular and dangerous one in order to do what is right. Fictional heroes like Bond or Steed rarely suffer meaningful personal loss and rarely confront the reality of evil. Evil is your friend with many positive qualities, maybe more intelligent or cultured or better dressed than you, the one you looked up to, who gradually reveals the awful things he or she believes and has done. Evil is those complicit in carrying out those things by their inaction, their credulity, or their cooperation, not at the point of a gun but of a paycheck. Evil is legal, logically explained, repeated and reported until its baseless reasoning becomes fact and the foundation for more lies, more evil. Evil can so easily become the system.

Hindsight is a handicap, for it doesn’t usually permit us to see that there were no times without ambiguity in battles between good and evil and no certainty that good triumphs. We have the privilege of retrospect to acknowledge the dashing diplomat in Savile Row suits was a hero for saving innocents from deportation and death as part of the most ghastly genocide in history. We learned what genocide is, and had to invent the word to describe it. Because at that time the people singled out for persecution and death were unpopular, historically, socially and legally marginalized, supposedly easily identifiable and classifiable. A group that societies had made it easy - through regulation, ghettoization, oppression and antagonism – to hate, and whole false narratives drawn up to explain why that group hated and wanted to destroy us even more than we them.

One of A Hero’s Story’s most timely and inspiring lines is Wallenberg’s reply to the Hungarian ruler’s query why the King of Sweden cared so much about the Jews of another country, when he was a Christian. Wallenberg reminded the prime minister that the King’s “concerns transcend religion or national borders.” That concern is humanity, our lowest common denominator, our shared recognition of our capacity for suffering. That concern drove a man to acts of incredible selflessness, a generous mercy that seems to have cost him his liberty and his life. There is no romance to Raoul Wallenberg’s fate. It is worth remembering that he probably saw little romance in the actions he took in Budapest.

Now is no less an unromantic time, no less a time when others – so many different others –are easily denigrated, feared, distrusted, brutalized. Otherization, both of many within our borders and pressing against them, has returned, as has fascism, with apologists blandly elegant or brutally populist, like some inauspicious comet in our skies. Now, again, is a time for heroes – men and women who recognize how difficult and dangerous it is to do what is right. That struggle is far from those of Chamberlain’s habitual roles swashbuckling against a monolithic, universally despicable, evil. Evil is among us, habituating us, desensitizing us, gaslighting us. Far from frills and fanfare, celebration, or certainty of triumph, can we place ourselves in Wallenberg’s Budapester shoes and do what is right?

Quality content, like quality clothing, ages well. This post first appeared on the No Man blog in February 2017.