#also i feel sorry for darman niner and fi

[cienie-isengardu]

My RepCom Musing: Kal’s drinking habit [HC]

The Hard Contact was our first introduction to Kal Skirata. Understable, we knew him then only by what Fi, Darman and Niner recalled from memory, either in time of need (battle-related advices) or to comfort themselves as all of them missed their training sergeant. However in the same book, every mentioned commando also recalled Kal’s drinking habit, as one of the most characteristic traits of said man.

And so we have Niner and Fi:

    "They spend so much time and trouble making us perfect and then they don't give us what we need to do the job. You remember what Sergeant Kal used to say?"

    "He used to swear a lot, I remember that."

    "No, he used to get upset when he'd had a few drinks and say that he could make us better soldiers if we had time to go out and live. Data-rich, experience-poor. That's what he used to say."

    "He used to slur the words quite a bit, too. And he didn't like clones."

    "That was all bluster. And you know it."

  And soon after that Niner’s personal thought:

Once he signed up with the Kaminoans, he said, they never let him go home again. But he'd told Niner that he didn't want to. He couldn't leave his boys now, not since he knew. "Brief," he'd say, gesturing with a glass of colorless alcohol, "is never glorious."

    Niner was determined to work out what Kal Skirata had come to understand, and why it upset him so much.

And Darman:

"And what about you? What happens if I send you or Fi or any of you into a situation where you're going to die?"

    She was genuinely upset. He could see it in her face, and in the way she held one thin, scratched, bony hand clenched tightly into a fist. He stood up as well, walking after her as she headed for the edge of the coppice.

    "We were all made for this," Darman said. It was true, wasn't it? He wouldn't exist at all if it hadn't been that someone needed soldiers, utterly reliable soldiers. But it didn't feel that way right then. Her reaction told him he was wrong, and suddenly he saw Kal Skirata, in tears, a drink in his hand. You poor boys. What sort of life is this?

Interestingly, even Atin, who has never been trained by Skirata and knew the man mainly from stories of other commandos (and maybe own sergeant?) also recalled him to be drunk:

    "What do you prefer," Niner asked. "Dry rats, dry rats, or maybe dry rats?"

    "Let's go with the dry rats for a change." Yes, Atin was definitely feeling better, and not just physically. "Who used to say that, then?"

    "Uh?"

    "The dry rations thing."

    "Oh. Skirata. Our old instructor sergeant."

    Atin took a bite out of the white cube and washed it down with a gulp of water from his bottle. "He never trained us. Heard a lot about him."

    "Trained Fi and Darman, too. Our squads were all in the same battalion."

    "We had Walon Vau."

    "That explains where you get your cheery outlook."

    "Sergeant Vau taught us the importance of planning for the worst scenario," Atin said, all loyalty. "And maximizing your tech. Being hard is good, being hard with superior tech is better."

    "I'll bet."

    "I'd heard everyone loved Skirata, though. Even if he was a bad-tempered drunk."

    And because Kal’s drinking habit was literally repeated by every commando including Atin, I’m a bit concerned here. Presumably, all the mentioned scenes with Kal happened in his free time, but no commando (paragraph) outright said Skirata drinked only off-duty. And even if he did, it does not exactly mean that the next day he was already sober (he could feel like that, but blood alcohol content does not disappear just like that.  All depends on how much and what he drank and how much time passed between the last drink and the first training with clones was beginning). At the same time, it is truly sad to see how training clones  burdened Kal and how emotionally unwell he was. Yes, he was always sentimental and acting on emotions but it is clear he did not copy well with the situation (even less, after killing his trainee during live ammo exercise). Kamino definitely destroyed him in a way events from previous life did not.

[clonecumber]

This is not meta this is just giggles.

My absolute favorite scene in 501st is the one where the Nulls go to retrieve Niner and Darman only to have them both behave like cats who wanted the door open:

Jaing knows what’s up. He’s not wrong. They really are the two most dramatic members of Omega squad. Darman of the “I’m going to kick my sergeant out of the crashing aircraft against orders” school of thought and Niner, Mr. “We’ll believe Darman’s dead when HELL FREEZES OVER” and “I’m gonna FIGHT A NULL over ETHICS in the MIDDLE OF A MISSION I don’t GIVE a FUCK”.

This is going to be a five act tragecomedy if it kills them, basically. They know no other way.

Now a missing scene with Atin and Fi over on Mandalore making eye contact for the first time as they realize who exactly got left behind on Coruscant in the care of who:

and I’m just saying, if they’d let Atin or Fi come, Niner and Darman would have been tranqed into the ground five paces from HQ with enough drugs to down a Rancor each and woken up a week later on Mandalore. No muss, no fuss.

Ordo: We’ll only go if Niner calls for assistance.

Fi, holding a box of tranqs between his teeth as he loads one of Skirata’s verps: Uh-huh.

Darman and Niner have been Ordo’s official little brothers for like five minutes and they’ve already got him ready to throttle them on sight *wipes away a tear*

They’re doing great. I’m so proud of them. 

But the absolute best part to follow, because I love how the Nulls’ immediate, instinctive reaction to this shit is just to line up to dogpile Niner. Best and brightest over here and this is what they come up with. I am imagining now that this is just how they deal with each other when one of them requires an intervention. Just. Flatten the transgressor. Sit your heavy ass on the brother until he stops being a dumbass. Works a charm every time, I’m sure.

It’s beautiful.

But please, Ordo, imagine that you succeeded. You then would have been stuck in the same contained space as Niner and Niner’s lungs all the whole way back to Mandalore.

Please also imagine the Alphas laughing themselves sick at the Nulls suddenly confronted with a bunch of a commandos who emphatically refuse to behave rationally, sit still for five minutes, or do what they’re fucking told. Turn your back on them for a second and they’ve scattered themselves across Coruscant and are refusing orders because they’re having feelings about things, eh? Know better than you do, eh? Hm. hM. HEY, GUYS, DOESN’T THAT SOUND FAMILIAR. WOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT KINDA DOES. JUST GOTTA WONDER WHERE WE’VE HEARD THIS BEFORE-

Maze, looking Ordo dead in the eyes: Wow. Sounds just horrible. I feel just- so sorry for you. I can’t IMAGINE what that’s like--

(and it really is always niner lol please imagine Atin in the distance as soon as he hears taking a deep, deep breath, breaking out his thumb tacks, and adding another line to the “Niner is secretly a chaos gremlin” conspiracy board he’s been packing since Qiilura. He could have told you, Ordo. He could have warned you.)

[mistflyer1102]

hallucinate

A/N: AU in that Etain told Darman about the pregnancy sooner. Also, warnings for near-death experience.

Summary: His presence is a comfort.

------------------------

Whoever said your life flashes before your eyes, before you die, was wrong.

The thought passed briefly through Etain Tur-Mukan’s mind as she attempted to nudge herself a few centimeters to the left without falling over completely. Somehow, despite the fact that her body had gone numb and stiff from the cold of the Telosian nights and wintery days long ago, she was still feeling a little bit of pain from the metal fragment, part of the downed larty’s door she’d taken refuge in, digging into her shoulder blades. She had long stopped moving if she could help it, sharp pain lancing through her body every time she moved, and had stopped using the Force to scan for threats long ago. She also had no idea if the Redeemer was still in orbit or not, she had lost contact with the Redeemer days ago, when the attempted invasion of the Separatist-held city went very, very wrong in the matter of seconds. She didn’t even know how many standard days ago the resulting devastation had been, she had drifted in and out of consciousness since then.

I know Intel screws up, Dar, but really? Do they screw up this badly?

General Grievous. No one had warned her, nor the Jedi Knight accompanying her and the troops, that Grievous would be here as well. He’d made quick work of the Knight accompanying them, and she had a few precious hours to draw him away from the troops before he caught up to her. She’d given parting orders to the commander in charge -- continue the campaign without me and alert the Redeemer. Do not come after me -- and began to draw Grievous away from the troops. And her plan worked. Grievous followed her to the crash site where the Separatists had shot down two larties earlier that week. Where she knew there would be no men for Grievous to hurt. 

But he nearly killed her in the process. Even days later -- she couldn’t quite remember the number of sunrises she’d counted anymore -- she was mildly surprised that she had woken up at all after Grievous finally threw her into the air, in the direction of the crashed larty that she now lay against. Her lightsabers were long gone, her wounds from Grievous still untreated and undoubtedly infected by now, there was a dull throb in the back of her skull, her face and hands numbed from the cold, skin tight with barely healed injuries, but she was still breathing. Somehow. In another life, she may have seen it as a sign from the Force, but now, after having lost her faith and trust in the only life she had ever known on Qiilura...she wasn’t so sure.

Force, I miss you, Darman. I know we have our duties, but I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you one last time.

Etain closed her eyes, shifting her thoughts back to Darman and Kad. Darman… she couldn’t tell where he was at the moment, just that he was alert and his attention was narrowed and focused -- on a mission then. She withdrew her awareness, not wanting to disturb him. She could still feel Kad in the Force, through the bond that she’d had with him since his birth. Kad was content, and she hoped he still remembered her and Darman despite the little time the two got with him. Telling Darman that night about her pregnancy, when Kal introduced the baby to Omega Squad, had been absolutely terrifying, and it had taken a few more days for the two to reconcile afterwards. During the reconciliation, she had mentioned leaving the Jedi Order, once the war was over, so they could be a family. Darman had started imagining a future there, for the three of them.

I’m sorry, Dar, that we won’t be able to get that particular future now.

Etain let out a slow exhale, blinking when she slowly realized that the blurred gray-blue line she’d been staring at, for what felt like hours now, was actually the craggy tree line as the sun rose yet again. Another morning. She’d lived through another night. She closed her eyes, a twinge of despair fluttering in her stomach as she slowly realized she had already lost feeling in her fingers and limbs, and could not recall how long it had been like that. Not long now. She let out another slow exhale, watching the white puff of air dissipate into the skies. Her ribs were aching with each breath, she could still feel that. She closed her eyes, slowing her breaths to lessen the dulling pain.

Dar. She could sense him again, still focused and alert on his task at hand. She tried not to distract him in those moments, but she also took a modicum of comfort in sensing his familiar presence. She then tried to withdraw, to let him work undisturbed, but his presence lingered, a calm and steady reassurance that she leaned against for the briefest of seconds before withdrawing her awareness further. But her concentration failed a few seconds later, she felt worn down from fatigue and injury. 

He felt close enough now, actually, that she could almost imagine that he was there, on Telos Six, with his squad. He’d move carefully and purposefully through the trees, unhindered and not slowed down by bothersome Jedi trying to keep up with him. Maybe, he was listening to Fi’s wisecracks in the background comm chatter. Fi, who would be trying to spark a reaction from Atin while also providing a running commentary of any gleaned intelligence. Niner, she knew, would be reminding them to stay focused on the objective that Master Zey had given them prior to their deployment. 

A spike of alertness from Darman brought her wandering thoughts back to reality. He’d spotted something. Etain tried to withdraw her awareness again, as to not distract him. He’d told her once, that he could sense when she was near him. She let a small exhale when her concentration slipped again, and she remained still, unable to summon the focus necessary for a complete withdrawal. Her eyes fluttered closed as she tried to once again pull back her awareness, as to not distract him. The resulting darkness was more...alluring, than she ever suspected, pulling her into its depths even as she clung to the threads of her bonds. Those she could not let go just yet. 

There is no death, there is the Force.

Alertness shifted to determination, and his presence grew stronger. She wasn’t sure if she imagined the sound of soft crunching of dirt, twigs and leaves that was slowly coming close to her. She heard a soft clicking, one she’d heard many times as the men removed or sealed their helmets, but her eyelids felt too heavy for her to check. She tried to send a little reassurance to both Darman and Kad even as she felt her consciousness ebb from her grasp.

The last thing she thought she heard was her name in a familiar whisper.

A whisper that did not stop.

[thesummerstorms]

Rev Recaps Hard Contact (Chapter 10)

CW: murder, death in combat,slightly graphic descriptions of corpses

TL:DR Recap: Etain and Dar go to one of Jinart’s safehouses and are immediately betrayed, which yet again, kind of justifies Etain’s paranoia. Darman kills a man, which perturbs Etain. Omega steals mining equipment and accidentally captures Guta-Nay. Hokan is pissed that Dar and Etain got away, and reveals that Jinart literally murdered the collaborators and tore them to pieces.

unfortunately, after posting the last recap I saw two Kal mentions in Chapter 9 that I missed, so we’re starting at a Kal count of 18.

Beginning Kal Count: 18 Ending Kal Count: 19

I regret to inform you I missed TWO references from Niner about Kal in chapter 9, so we’re starting at a Kal Count of 18.

I won’t screenshot the opening quote, but it’s basically a notice to the farmers on Qiilura that anyone who has Republic soldiers on their land without knowing will be sold into slavery and anyone helping the Republic on purpose will be shot. It does provide some needed framework for the rest of the chapter. Then we open in Darman’s pov, and IDK, I just kind of like the opening line. He still thinks of Kamino as “home” apparently at this point in time.

Etain is still being kind of unfairly snarky, and Darman’s at a loss what to do about it.

“Darman took is as a sensible observation rather than an insult.” Etain isn’t really being great right now, I recognize that, but I still love that line.

Anyway, they stop at the first safehouse and Etain goes to knock. Darman hates feeling obvious and exposed, and compares his lack of ability to blend in to, you guessed it, Skirata.

Kal Count raised to 19, BUT so far I think that’s the only one in this chapter.

Anyway, the house is empty; the family fled in the middle of a meal. Darman is still overly cautious, and walks Etain through house clearing procedure, even though her Force-sense tells her it’s safe. He points out that she can’t sense a tripwire that would murder them, even though Jedi Danger Sense is an established thing in the EU by this point and-

Sorry.

He also redirects her when she’s peering over his shoulder into the pantry instead of standing guard at the door and watching their gear, although he’s gracious enough to admit it had probably never occurred to her with Jedi senses.  While he raids said pantry with the intent to test the food for toxins later, she goes to fill bottles of water from a pump outside, and he asks why she isn’t using a filter. Again, we were just giving Etain shit a few chapters ago for being too paranoid and now she’s asking if he was trained by Nemoidians, but honestly I’m feeling kinder to Dar than Jinart because it really is a culture clash.

Yet again, I wonder how the Kaminoans can afford to kill that many clones out right when each clone is such an investment to rain and train in terms of both input and time. 

Darman doesn’t know what to make of a Jedi who isn’t the perfect demigod he was promised, which is affecting his trust levels. And Etain hasn’t been helping a lot with that. But she does notice something is wrong with him; she just doesn’t know him well yet, so she assumes it has something to do with his physical injury.

They eventually make it to another safe house, when they meet a woman “with a face like a gdan”, several children, and a few other adults. Dar is briefly overwhelmed because it’s the first time he’s seen this many humans who aren’t clones. I guess the commandos never saw their Sergeants group up.

Darman places mines all around the entrance to the building before he goes in, which I’m sure would win him no love even if the farmers weren’t already under threat of execution or slavery. The family at the safehouse says very little, outside of one woman who wants to know how the Republic is better than the Nemoidians, but they do attempt to feed Dar and Etain, which I have to say, is generous for the kind of place they’re living in. Or would be, if the family weren’t planning to sell them out & use the food as a distraction.

Dar, honey, she’s going to be able to read you in the Force better than anyone else in the galaxy by the time this is over and you’ll like it, so you might as well just buckle up. 

Also, clones are able of discerning thoughts/behavior patterns/moods really easily through minute observation and there’s nothing ruling out Etain doing the same her, but I guess it makes sense he jumps to mind reading the way the Kaminoans built up the Jedi.

Lots of little thoughts here. There’s post to be made based on a conversation I had with rey-skywalkin-away about Etain and food that I’ll save for another day, but for now, let me just say as much as KT tries to present Etain as a picky/snobbish eater, lemme just say that I don’t blame Etain in the least for being suspicious when the last stew Jinart tried to serve her included grains literally picked out of the manure on Etain’s cloak. Also, it’s still kind of sweet that Darman notices she isn’t eating enough and immediately offers her his bread, even though he’s in heaven getting “real” food. It’s generous. 

But good things never last, and Etain pretty much immediately is warned by the Force that someone is approaching unexpectedly. Darman flips out and the family immediately flees, which only confirms his suspicion. Dar and Etain brace for combat, while Etain uses Force-sense to pinpoint the incoming enemy forces. It’s actually kind of a great little action scene for the two of them.

“She put her lips so close to his ear he jumped.” Idk, I just giggled at that.

It’s just kind of a great little moment, getting to actually see Etain use her Force skills competently in an action scene. But of course, it immediately devolved. Darman, being raised to be a soldier, kills the one surviving Separatist, who’s injured on the floor. Etain, being raised a Jedi, doesn’t understand. Again, it’s a culture clash, but given the military focus of the books, we know who the narrative thinks is right.

I STILL WANT TO KNOW... who the hell were the clones supposed to be killing on Kamino? I can’t imagine the Kaminoans would let the clones kill even “worthless” Kaminoans, for fear of the armies they were raising getting ideas. I suppose Jango could have snuck back a bounty that was supposed to be dead every now and then, but that wouldn’t be a lot of people for training with 3,000,000 men. 

Also, Darman literally had his freak out over killing people on page 56 of this same, book, so it comes off as a tad hypocritical, even though this isn’t the last time he’ll not understand what Etain is upset about wrt killing.

Anyway, Darman is shot in the shoulder, though it’s a minor wound, they’re now on the run with no “safe houses” to hide in, and at the end of this scene, when Darman asks if Etain can sense droids, we find out she can’t when a droid starts shooting at them.

We then skip to Niner and Atin and Fi raiding a quarry for droids/explosives/equipment. I’m not gonna lie, I could care less about the plot of this section. This is my third time reading it and I’m still fuzzy on it. But it has a few fun little moments:

Atin is tricky. Also, I’m pretty sure that if this wasn’t a Star Wars book,that line would say “pants-shittingly nervous” rather than “drink-spilling”. With the facility seemingly cleared out, Niner and Atin go in to loot it, and we build some more on the “Atin is the tech guy” thing.

Except the guard shack isn’t empty. Guta-Nay (again, the would be rapist) has been hiding there, since Hokan wants him dead. Guta-Nay tries offering various bits of information if Niner will keep him alive, and KT really, really leans in to the whole “to stupid to function” thing, which is still making me uncomfortable, but comes to a head a few chapters from now. Eventually, Niner concedes that they’ll take Guta-Nay prisoner rather than kill him. Atin is displeased, but starts leveraging it to try and find a technical solution to one of their other problems.

Niner, you should absolutely keep thinking mean thoughts about Vau.

Atin hacks some droids, and they’re going to use them to move the mining charges and smuggle them into the places that need to be blown up, including the Nemodian comm relay in Tekklet. Atin still does not like Guta-Nay.

And then one bit that really makes this scene:

Tiny bit of foreshadowing for Triple Zero and True Colors. GREAT moment of Fi’s typical sass. “Don’t stand there being so ugly, man. You’re scaring him.”

We then close the chapter with Hokan being pissed that Darman and Etain escaped. I’m not going to spend too much time on it, because it’s mostly Hokan yelling at his subordinates.

Things that are of note,  with a CW for a graphic description of mutilation of corpses: this is what Jinart went and did to the collaborators.

As negatively as Traviss paints them, I actually feel really bad for the farmers in this book. She’s not much sympathetic to them, and she explicitly goes out of her way to show why you’d be stupid to sympathize with them, but on the one hand you have the Separatists and Hokan torching these people’s land, selling them into slavery, and executing them. On the other... you have Jinart. 

On top of which, they’re literally starving because of the Nemodian’s financial control of their lives. They don’t even have 21st century plumbing, in Star Wars. Whatever point Traviss thinks she’s making about unworthy civilian/local populations, it rings kind of hollow in the face of that information, because I can understand exactly why the NPCs act the way they do, even if they’re technically in opposition to our protagonists.

Anyway, Hokan pulls all droids out of Tekklet, where the comm is, to guard Uthan’s facility. He tells his men he wants either Darman or Etain alive, especially if Etain is a Jedi. Preferably both of them. Again, remember, he tortured Kast Fulier to death with Fulier’s own lightsaber, so remember what we’re working with here.

And that’s where the scene ends.

[thesummerstorms]

I'm starting to write a fanfiction for repcomm, how would you describe Darman POV?

Okay, um... this is a very broad question, so this is a very BROAD and extremely lengthy answer (sorry but I couldn’t not include text evidence.)

But in general? Darman...

1. often looks externally calm, even to his brothers, and is very good at hiding resentment or anger. people mistake him as calm or level several times in the series when he’s actually having a hard time in his thoughts. Eventually he reaches the point in 501st where it can no longer be hidden, but I think he’s been feeling it for a lot longer than anyone realized.

“He’d been alive for eleven standard years, coming up on twelve. He was twenty-three or twenty-four the manual said. It wasn’t enough time to live.

Sergeant Kal said we’d been robbed.

Fierfek, I hope Etain can’t feel me getting angry.

“I wish I could just sit and relax like you, Dar,” Atin said. “How’d you get to be so calm? You didn’t learn it from Kal, that’s for sure.”

There’s just Sergeant Kal and Etain and my brothers. Oh, and Jusik. General Jusik’s one of us. No one else really cares.

“I’ve got a clean conscience,” Darman said. It had come as a surprise to him after years of cloistered training on Kamino that many cultures in the galaxy regarded him as a killer, something immoral. “That or I’m too tired to worry.” 

(True Colors, Chapter 1, page number unknown because Kindle is an ass.)

2. Isn’t always up front with his emotions when he feels they’d be burdensome on a loved one and wants to be outwardly positive. See the above conversation with Atin, or his hesitance to call Etain a few chapters after Fi’s injury. 

Notably in the scene above he does make mention of talking over serious things with Etain, like what would happen to the clones after the war, but I feel like he hides some of his more in-the-moment feelings and people don’t expect it because on the surface he seems like the uncomplicated one,

Brain-dead people sometimes regained consciousness and then reported what they’d heard during the coma, and Darman could think of nothing more awful in that moment than Fi being in some terrible paralysis but feeling everything. Dead was better. He wanted a cleaner end than Fi.

“Call Etain,” Niner suggested, “She always cheers you up.”

But Darman didn’t want to call her just to rage about how unfair things were. He settled down with a holozine so no one would talk to him for a while, and the others played blades, throwing knives into a target board divided into rings and quardrants. When he’d come to terms with this, he’d have something more positive to say to her. They could talk about where they’d go when they got some leave together.

I can’t imagine a mission without Fi now.

True Colors, Chapter 16, page number unknown because Kindle is an ass.)

3. it’s a case by case basis though. like any human being, Dar is complicated. It really depends on the in the moment situation. Notably above, his reluctance to call and be a burden was for a situation that had been happening for a while, while in the immediate aftermath he called Etain pretty immediately.

Fi didn’t react, but then Darman knew he wouldn’t . The point was he’d said it, and that meant he’d do it. Reluctantly, he followed Niner back to the mess deck, and found a quiet corner to pour his heart out in a message to Etain.

He could have unburdened himself on his brothers, but they all knew what he was thinking anyway.

(True Colors, Chapter 14, page number unknown because Kindle is an ass.)

4. He notices a lot of little details. Even more specifically, he notices and is intensely focused on small changes or signals in the people he cares about. He also very much wants to provide emotional support and is watching for the cues that it’s needed, especially in Etain. 

 You can see it with Dar noticing Fi and his music, or when he goes after Etain in Triple Zero, or at the end of True Colors when he’s intensely aware of Etain’s body language radiating distress and mentally immediately tries to figure out why she’s upset and put her at ease.

Darman cut into Fi’s personal circut to speak but was instantly deafened by the volume of the music. That was how Fi dealt with things: a thick wall of noise and chatter to shut out the next moment. (True Colors, Chapter 1,  page number unknown because Kindle is an ass.)

He caught a note in her voice that said she was holding back; maybe there was someone with her. The holovids showed clandestine love affairs as exciting, but Darman just found the secrecy miserable. (True Colors, Chapter 10,  page number unknown because Kindle is an ass.)

Etain had that same expression he’d just seen on Skirata’s face. He knew he must have said something wrong, but wasn’t sure what. He unfolded her arms with a little gentle pressure and took her hand. (True Colors, Chapter 19,  page number unknown because Kindle is an ass.)

“The baby’s upset you somehow, hasn’t it? he said. Of course; being a Jedi, Etain would have never known her parents. Does it remind you of being taken from your family?”  (True Colors, Chapter 19,  page number unknown because Kindle is an ass.)

There. He’d said it, and she would feel better now, let off the hook. There was no point dwelling on his shortened life span. Neither of them knew what was around the corner. He’d take the pressure off her, because it was the responsible thing to do.

(True Colors, Chapter 19,  page number unknown because Kindle is an ass.)

The Skydome gardens were just as beautiful and fascinating as Etain had promised. He could tell she was trying to be cheerful and enthusiastic about them, but there was something sad and wondered about her that he didn’t know how to make better. 

Evacuating Qiilura must have been worse than she let on. But she tell him in her own good time. 

(True Colors, Chapter 19,  page number unknown because Kindle is an ass.)

5. He’s pretty intensely protective, and not in an entirely healthy way? It never manifests as a doubt about his loved ones’ competency so much as a desire to jump someone else for disrespecting them. He is a worrier, but it’s not in a “no, they can’t do this” kind of way that too many shitty male romance leads get stuck in. He’s defensive of his relationships in a way that exceeds normal not-fooling-around.

 Wherever it was they were sending her, she could tell him, couldn’t she? Maybe she didn’t want to worry him. Of course I’m worried. I’m always worried. (True Colors, Chapter 10,  page number unknown because Kindle is an ass.)

Darman swallowed a sudden an unexpected desire to tell  Fi to lay off Etain, and in no uncertain terms. Fi knew nothing about her, nothing. Darman was ambushed by a split moment of protectiveness, and was immediately embarrassed by it. (Hard Contact, Pg. 222.) [ Idk why this one has page numbers and not the others.]

“Open up, or stand away from the door,” Etain yelled. She had no concept of cover, but she was a Jedi and had her own early-warning system. Darman was watching her back anyway. He’d smack Sev for the wisecracks later.” (Order 66, Pg. 167.) [ Also don’t know why this one has page numbers and not hard Contact.]

“Where’s the General?” Fi said.

Darman interrupted. “Saying goodbye to Gett.” He seemed to be taking an intense interest in Etain’s whereabouts. “Can you see Sergeant Kal? She said he was meeting us.”

“So… you’ve been ordered about by a geriatric and a child, have you?”

Darman’s voice frosted over. “Scorch, do you like medcenter food?” (Triple Zero, Pg. 119.) [Seriously, Kindle just fucking hates True Colors.] 

“I think it’s kind of encouraging.” Scorch chuckled. “Atin gets a cute Twi’lek girlfriend, Dar gets his very own general-”

“-and Scorch gets a thick ear if he doesn’t shut it right now.”

The comlink was suddenly silent, except for the occasional sound of swallowing. Darman wasn’t in a joking mood when it came to Etain. He never had been, not even on Qiilura, when there hadn’t been anything between them. (Triple Zero, Pg. 245.)

“Why did he need Etain then?”

“Maybe to show her how it’s done.”

Fi watched Darman bristle. (Triple Zero, Pg. 176.)

Atin hadn’t seen Laseema since the start of the siege, and just chatted with her in snatched moments by comlink. Darman couldn’t even talk to Etain until she dropped out of hyperspace; Enacca was taking her time. He checked his comlink, saw no message, and reminded himself that Etain was fine. (Order 66, pg. 371)

6. Darman is captivated by very small things/small details/small moments of beauty.

It was definitely autumn .A mist had blanketed the countryside like a sea. A puddle had formed in the sheeting stretched over the shelter, and Darman went to scoop it out but stopped.

“What are those things?” he asked, “I saw them on the river, too.”

Ruby and sapphire colored insects were dancing above the surface of the puddle. “Daywings,” Etain said.

“I’ve never seen colors like it….”

…”They’re amazing,” he said, completely absorbed by the spectacle. (Hard Contact, Pg. 182.)

7. Like most of the clones, he starts more naive/optimistic and then becomes more and more disillusioned the further in the series you go.

It was still tough to stand back and let the convoy take it. Darman itched for an excuse to open fire. He’d gone charging to the rescue before on Qiilura, breaking cover to save civilians, but he’d been a kid then on his second deployment.  The longer you spent fighting, the more cautious you became.(Order 66,  Pg. 65.)

8. Arguably all of the above paints a little bit harsher a picture than it should. I also generally see Darman as very genuinely soft and caring with his loved ones. He’s also considerate and generous. One of his love languages is food/small gifts & gestures; I swear it.

“It’s getting light,” Darman said. He sat down cross-legged in the hide, armor plates clacking against something. “You look cold. Need any more pain-killers?”

Etain had achieved a consistent level of dampness and pain that she could live with.She was too tired to think of anything else. She’d even stopped noticing the persistent odor of wet merlie wool. “I’m okay.”

“If we light a fire, we’ll be a magnet for half the Separatist army.” He rummaged in his belt and held out a ration cube to her, still that incongruous amalgam of fresh naivete and utterly clinical killer. She shook her head. He pulled out a bag. “Dried kuvara?”

She realized from the way he had put the fruit carefully in his belt and not his pack that he prized it. He lived on rations with all the taste appeal of rancid mott hide. The sacrifice was rather touching.

 (Hard Contact, pg. 175-178 ish)

Darman leaned against the wall, all concern. “Do you want something to eat? We’re going to risk Qibbu’s nerf in glockaw sauce. Scorch reckons it’s probably armored rat.”

“I’m not sure I can face crowds right now.”

“You might be overestimating the popularity of Qibbu’s cuisine.” He shrugged. “I could probably get the cook to stun the thing with my Deecee and send it up by room service.” …

“Only if you keep me company.”

“Yeah, eating armored rat alone is probably asking for it.” He grinned suddenly, and she felt illuminated by it. “You might need first aid.”

(Triple Zero, pg. 175-178 ish)

Darman thought it was time they got on making friends with the Marits. He stood up and wandered over to the lizards, wondering if there might be anything in Eyat that he could acquire for Etain. It was hard to think of anything a Jedi might want. They avoided possessions. (True Colors, Chapter 2, page number unknown because Kindle is an ass.)

9. He does have a light-hearted side; it’s not all just ruminating.

She was suddenly aware of Darman looking up at her, grinning, and if it wasn’t for his surroundings, he could have been any young man showing off his prowess to a woman. (Triple Zero pg. 182 ish)

Even Darman had fallen happily into it. He was engrossed in the game, shoulder-charging Boss and knocking Jusik flat. (Triple Zero, pg. 158)

10. He’s just as much a romantic as Etain is.

“I never stopped thinking about you, either,” Darman said, “Not for a moment.” (Triple Zero, pg. 186)

All he wanted at the end of it was some time with Etain. (True Colors, Chapter 1, page number unknown because Kindle is an ass.)

He couldn’t even recall putting on his plates. His mind was on Etain.  (True Colors, Chapter 10, page number unknown because Kindle is an ass)

Darman was working up the nerve to say that he loved her, too, when the link closed from her end of the channel and the moment was gone. he took a deep breath before yanking the door open, broken-hearted he might never get the chance to tell her. (True Colors, Chapter 10, page number unknown because Kindle is an ass)

He was fed up finding things in common with insects. he was a man, and he missed his girl. He wanted to go home- and he realized he had no idea where home was.

Fi said it was Mandalore. Darman decided it would be wherever Etain wanted it to be.  (Order 66, pg 53 ish)

Darman was twenty meters from Etain now.He looked through the sea of strangers, and could see just one being out of all of them- Et’ika. (Order 66, pg 400 ish)

There’s honestly also plenty to be said about Dar not wanting to upset the equilibrium in his squad- he doesn’t want special treatment, or to have more than his brothers. That’s...pretty standard for this series though?

Also Darman really doesn’t react well to secrets post Venku reveal, but lbr, I’m not crawling through 501st for quotes.