#also i don't think the timestamp approach makes any sense for this

[xwhitenoise]

So I’ve started on Neverafter, right, and despite being sort of a baby when it comes to more grotesque horror elements I’m enjoying it so far

but some of the content warnings are for things that are... honestly really trivial and would not have warranted timestamped warnings in any other season, and I feel like they make the idea of content warnings themselves seem kind of frivolous and silly overall. Which is. The opposite of what they should be doing.

[melon-dot-com]

The chaos of thoughts are below. Have fun ig. I definitely did. I'm free. Whose gonna be bothered. Whose gonna stop me. My city now.

[Contextual info: Watching something new]

So I'm watching The Apothacary Diaries. It seems to be pretty new with only 3 eps so far. Unless the site I'm using is just behind. It's also in dub which will make it not as caught up. I really like it so far and I'll be honest I was very close to not watching it. I saw it on the website I use and was hesitant. Not for any specific reason, I just have trouble starting new things. But I kept getting this nagging feeling I should give it a try.

I even had to make myself watch the next ep becuase part of me was like well I'm not quite investeddd. What if I just did something elseee. Almost distracting myself with non-commital entertainment like usual. Like playing casual games or watching youtube. But then I got that feeling again, that I should stick with it and that it'd be worth it.

[General info: Maomao]

Maomao is the main character- AKA the cute determined chibi here. When she is giddy and happy they show her with blushy cheeks, cat mouth, and cat ears. Often wiggling the cat ears and body swaying. She is very animated. Sometimes it's just that; a little cute and exaggerated features. But sometimes it's like here where it's full blown baby chibi moment. And it's so adorable… if I think abt it too hard it's likely I will perish.

[Maomao: Main passion and expertise]

She loves well. Apothacary related things. It's not just her specialty but she loves doing it and always wants to learn more. Personality wise she is relatively calm, a bit disgruntled, secretive, and independent, until the opportunity for remedy creation and other related things come up. Which brings about a joy she is hardly able to contain.

Honestly she is pretty relatable but my area is more like psychology and analytics. Physics and crafting. Grief and how we approach death/s… I find her passion yet seriousness about being an apothacary to be refreshing and relatable. I have a love for knowing and understanding of strange things as well! And just things that don't get much attention otherwise.

She especially likes testing out poison and venoms on her arm. And she, presumably, uses this to gather information on how to create an antidote or remedy for them. She does it on the same arm every time, which while I suppose makes sense as to not mess up other body parts… I can't see it being as effective on scarred skin. Though for all I know that's the point and doesn't actually effect the observing process. It's not like I'd actually know.

Also she does address at some point that she isn't as sensitive to poisons since she did it for so long. I'm just not sure about skin related irritations.

[The testing scars]

She wears a strip of guaze or guaze-like material around the arm she kept testing on to hide it's scars. Probably to not alarm people or to seem unsightly when she is working. I don't think she cares that much about it herself though or is even self conscious outside of maybe being fired for it. It's the result of her passion and hardwork after all. If someone judged her for it I doubt she'd change her mind about it. The women that showed concern for her when she was younger didn't seem to phase them from continuing.

[TW: About the testing itself]

Honestly TW for the flashbacks of her doing the poison and venom testing. It's brief but her arm is real messed up. Particularly if you have cluster related phobias or trypophobia. Which I find those tend to go hand in hand. I might go back to try and timestamp the moments so others are aware… Even though I get kind of itchy just thinking about it. Ugh.

[Dynamic with other main character]

So there's this important guy- uhhh. Emperor's son. Don't know if that has a name. He may also be a set of multiple sons. I don't normally watch things in this setting I know nothing. Clearly. sdjfsjd

As you can see I forgot his name but he subtly.. well not so subtly, tries to get Maomao's attention. In his own words he said he thinks he'll try at seducing a bit. It sounded more in the context of getting her enamored wth him rather than full on seduction. AKA no actual motive to get with them or in bed with them. At least it sure seems that way for now with how nonchalant and carefree he is about it.

[General info: other main character]

He is your usual fancy boy with a sort of graceful arrogance. He looks pretty but truthfully does not awe me like the women in the show. They are SO so pretty and cute. One of the high class ladies is of course especially dressed up. She seems a bit playful and cheery in a teasing way and has lovely pink hair in an updo with accessories. And I'm like… ahh my heart…

Fancy boi (I am lazy and will get his name later sorry fancy boy :( ) doesn't lack attention but he does find it a bit odd that Maomao doesn't seem flustered by his presence and even off put by him. At some point he finally makes a quiet comment about "Why don't you react'' (Something like that)

[That one scene from the gifset: fancy boy is into it]

I think afterward- my memory gets mixed up so maybe it was before the above. He talks to his… main guardsman? iirc. They talk a bit about some current problems they are facing and then fancy boy says that he is intrigued by how she doesn't react the same as the others. And then gets all chibi-happy about it like ahh I've never been treated that way before <3 all blushy and content. Then his guardsman, as if he just heard about a private side of him, goes alright well I'll take my leave now-- and slides out of view.

[Circling back their dynamic]

I got sidetracked but wayy in the beginning of Maomao and his encounters. She notices his directed glances, obvious casual posing, and getting a little too close in personal space. She is, reasonably, disgusted and disturbed about it. Probably the right reaction to a person in power clearly focused on you.

There has already been a moment though, where she was little grumpy and weirded out by him getting close behind her. But not outright disgusted like I saw before.

That said, she probably thought about maybe not reacting negatively toward one of the people she works for. Or just upper class people in general for that matter. Idk if the creator/s thought about that though and it might just be showing the viewer that she's a little more familiar with his weirdness now. _ End / 11/12/23 / 22:16

[sirthisisa-wendys]

The Enforcers: Part 5 (Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader)

wc: 1.7k

tw: NSFW. (It's finally happening.)

masterlist

Suguru stares at the screen in disbelief.

"I don't know what else to say," you breathe, eyes wide. "I think that we should go to the Grand Council or my parents and--"

"It's a hoax," he frowns, shaking his head. "None of this makes any sense. And I've seen fabricated shit like this before."

"But the timestamps!" you retort, pointing at the metadata.

"Those can be fabricated by using an old machine. You can't trust anything these days unless it comes from the Archives."

"But--"

"I think you need to delete these and forget about it. This is someone's sick idea of a joke, y/n." Suguru stands, scowling at the computer one last time before turning away. "I'll figure out who did this. Don't worry. Just delete that shit and don't mention it to anyone." Suguru stalks out of the room and you look at the files, dragging them to the trash before turning your computer off and trying to put it out of your mind.

_____________________________________________________________

You're back at the club with your friends, sitting among new faces and old ones just the same. But the nagging feeling that something isn't right is dragging across the pit of your stomach like a rake. When you glance at Suguru, he's laughing with his other Leviathan friends, but barely touching his only drink.

He must be unnerved by it, too, you think, and rub your forehead before watching Yuji try his best dance moves on Nobara, which fails miserably, of course. Yuki sits to your left, also watching the show with varying degrees of amusement before looking over at you.

"Why the long face, Ms. Successful? Is this too boring for you?" You consider telling her what's really bothering you, turning to her in the dim lighting and pressing your lips together. Her face changes and you know your secret can't be kept for long.

"What would you do if someone played a really bad prank on you?"

"What, did Suguru piss on your curtains?"

"Huh?" You look at her in shock, and she shrugs.

"Alright, maybe that's just a Toji thing. My bad." She sips her drink thoughtfully. "What kind of prank are you talking about?"

"Someone..." You hesitate, but decide to keep going anyways. "Someone put files on my computer to make it seem like my parents were involved with something called Project Kudzu and Project Redroot." Yuki frowns deeply, blinking rapidly.

"Y/n, I've never heard of those things before." You sigh, shaking your head. "Did they have any real proof?"

"Yeah, some audio files, two videos, and a bunch of TS-CO labeled documents that--" A hand lands on your shoulder, and you look up to see Suguru standing above you.

"That pre-game was wild, wasn't it?" Pre-game? "Sorry, Yuki. Y/n here had a whole bottle of red wine and played some weird game before coming. She's been going on about it to me for hours... projects and stuff." Yuki laughs, waving him off.

"It's okay! I was a little confused, too, but I get it. Girl," she turns to you, shaking her head. "You should probably go home and get some rest. If I had known you were drunk already I would've--"

"I'm not drunk," you reply, looking back and forth between Suguru and Yuki. "I swear, I'm not--"

"Let me get you home, party girl," Suguru mumbles, pulling you up from your seated position and gripping your hand tightly as he drags you along with him. "It's been a long day."

"But I'm not--" The look Suguru gives you is deadly, and you shut your lips as he takes you to the car you both came in, opening your door silently. You slide into the seat and he shuts the door with force, climbing into the driver's seat, but not starting the car. He grips the steering wheel and clenches his jaw, finally muttering,

"Didn't I tell you not to say anything to anyone?"

"Suguru, this has been bothering me for days! I don't know what to do!"

"I'm trying to find out who would break into your room and do this to you. Can you let me work?" he asks tersely. "For once in your life, can you let someone look out for you?" His black eyes are blazing in the dim light of the parking lot, and your bottom lip quivers.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he exhales, starting the car. "I just... I just need you to let me figure this out. Someone isn't playing nice in our own organization and if it comes at the expense of my partner, I'm not having it. Lay low for me for a while, got it?" Suguru places his hand on your thigh and you nod, feeling your heart pick up an uneven rhythm. Your mouth goes dry at his lingering touch, but before you can think about it any further, he removes his hand and pulls out of the parking lot to take both of you back to the base.

When you get back to your barracks, you pause in the living room, looking over at your Leviathan as he removes his leather jacket and deposits it on the couch, sighing. You slowly approach him from behind and touch his back, which makes him flinch a little.

"I don't know why you continue to put up with my antics," you murmur and he huffs a breath out, shaking his head. "But thank you for saving my ass... and for looking out for me." Suguru turns to you, his lips quirking up a bit.

"Little Ms. Successful is thanking me for my service? Are you drunk?" Your cheeks heat up at the nickname and you roll your eyes, about to turn away from him when he catches your wrist. "Don't do that," he breathes, bringing you in close so your chests are touching. Your breathing hitches and he raises his knuckles, grazing them over your cheek. You close your eyes at the contact, and he slides his fingers down to your chin, tilting it up and humming softly.

"Open your eyes," Geto whispers, and you do so, trying your best not to seem too flustered. He leans down, brushing his lips across yours for permission, and your close your eyes again, letting him kiss you. When his lips separate from yours, he touches your nose with his, and you raise up on your tiptoes to feel his lips on yours again. "Are you sure you want to do that?" he wonders as you pull away. You nod your head, and he laughs softly.

"I do want to keep kissing you, yes," you reply, and he wraps a hand around your waist, lifting you off your feet and wrapping your legs around him.

"Nothing good comes of that," he warns, but you scoff.

"I'd beg to differ."

And that's how you find yourself on his neatly made bed, legs pushed up to your chest as Suguru greedily laps at your cunt like a starving man. "Su..." you moan, and he grunts in response. "That feels so good."

"I bet it does," the Leviathan replies, raising his brow at you salaciously before flicking your clit with his tongue. Your toes curl painfully as he dips a finger into you, then raises it up to your lips, tugging your mouth open so you can taste yourself. You suck on the digit with pleasure, humming when he pulls it back out and finger fucks you while sucking on your clit.

You buck under his grip, but he raises off of you, denying you an orgasm so soon. Geto kisses you deeply, swiping his tongue across yours so you can taste yourself again, then sits up, motioning for you to do the same.

"You want to do this?"

"Yeah." Suguru pulls his long hair up with an elastic and removes his pants, climbing back onto the bed and sitting against the headboard. He pulls you into his lap and raises you up, allowing you to grasp his hard length before sliding onto it carefully.

"Easy, easy..." he hisses, and you slow down, taking him inch by inch. You place your arms around his neck and rock back and forth, closing your eyes when you feel all of him nestled inside of you. Suguru groans, closing his eyes and tilting his head forward onto your shoulder. "Hold on, I'm gonna lay on my back." You allow him to slide forward, and he pushes you down onto his chest with a broad hand before pumping into you methodically.

"Oh, god..." you moan, and Suguru exhales shakily. "Su, you feel amazing."

"Say it a little louder so our neighbors can hear you," he jokes, but you clench around him and his laughter is cut short. "Fuck!" The man beneath you smacks your ass, and you yelp in response. "Keep doing that and this will be over faster than you can spell your own name."

"Then fuck me and quit being a smart ass," you gripe. Suguru shrugs and mutters,

"You asked for it." before slamming his hips into your ruthlessly. You cry out at the sensations his pace brings, and he grips your wrist as you lift off of him, holding your left hand against his chest. "Stay right here, princess. I'm not letting you go for shit." Your mouth seems to maintain its "O" shape the entire time he's fucking you senseless, and you can't say a word, eyes crossing and making you see double of your partner.

"Oh, god," you finally shudder, and Suguru lets go of your hand to lean you back down, mouth latching on one of your breasts.

"Cum for me," Geto challenges you before going back to sucking on your nipples relentlessly. You feel something inside of you break - almost like a busted dam releasing a flood of sensations and emotions that you've held at bay since you arrived here. "Oh, you're doing so good," Suguru grunts, holding you as you tremble fiercely while his hips stutter. "Just let it all go."

And for some reason, tears - actual tears - come out of your eyes as if this sexual release also broke your heart in two.

"Did I hurt you?" Suguru asks, swiping at your tears with a worried expression.

"No," you reassure him, shaking your head fiercely. "Not at all."

"Hmmm..." He rests your head against his chest as his breathing slows, hands stroking your back and hair with care. "You've had a hard couple of days. Just rest, alright? I'll be here when you wake up." So, you fall asleep, trusting your partner who's never betrayed you before.

_____________________________________________________________

TAGLIST: @missbonekitty @wack0-genius @thankuary @jsqeeut@r-i-m-f-009 @sunfloweroranges @leanne-tamashi @girlruby23@rein-icu @brownskinnedgirll @chanelmalandro @savantsoulfinder @jibe-gajima @chilledlucifer @amnxsia @kontentious @fuyuko26 @everybodylovescayrayray @flare-on

[midrashic]

fandom meme, any/all: X, Y, Z?

it’s been an age & a half since i requested asks so PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE TIMESTAMP IN THE CORNER. i love & appreciate everyone who sent me an ask and am slowly getting around to it now that real life is slowly settling back into something approaching normal! 💛 

X / TOP 5-10 CHARACTERS WHO YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING. well, i answered a "top ten characters" a while ago here but the phrasing of this question makes me go in a slightly different direction! so here's five characters that fandom/canon has made me fiercely protective over, either because they got a raw deal from the writers or because fandom-at-large mischaracterizes them. (for example, in every universe matt murdock is a Very Good Boy, but because he's the pov character of a long-running title & the fandom woobie, i don't think he necessarily needs defending in a way that some other characters might.)

aki izayoi of yu-gi-oh! 5d's. i literally think the first online catfight i got into was someone on a yu-gi-oh forum claiming that aki hadn't faced any hardship in comparison to yuusei. anyway aki is my alive girl, my role model and my first crush, the best female character in the ycu (yu-gi-oh! cinematic universe) as of the time i stopped watching, an angel that has never done anything wrong in her life, and half of the only valid het couple (with yuusei). i will not be taking questions at this time.

erik lehnsherr of marvel (all verses but especially xmcu). ok in fairness he did do pretty well for himself canon-wise (original trilogy is NOT canon in this house, we don't stand for that nonsense here) but when i first got into cherik i found that overwhelmingly he was cast in the role of the oblivious asshole across from long-suffering saint charles. & there's nothing wrong with that! it just started to get a little stale when every fic i read was like that. i mean, i adore charles, he is my son, but like, he can be a saint and a trashbag!! let charles drink from a volumetric flask and say the wrong things at the worst moments. so i uh. made a tag. #Erik Lehnsherr Defense Squad, if you're curious.

steve rogers of marvel (mcu). okay this is like. half a fanon thing and half a canon thing which adds up to a whole injustice. that's how that works, right? so the canon thing is endgame & all the articles that were written by mainstream news sources about how steve choosing to live in a timeline branch with peggy made no sense whatsoever. and i even adore steggy!! the fanon thing is that both of the main steve pairings, stony & stucky, had a... tendency, shall we say, to only care about steve inasmuch as he could heal his love interest's emotional wounds & also fuck them. not all stucky/stony fans! not even most. but i think someone once said that steve was more like a glorified walking dildo than a character for certain writers of these tendencies, and... yeah. that was apt. i don't know if it's like that now, i haven't read mcu fic in a long time (except for whatever sabre has going on), but the two moderate irritations combine to make me massively defensive over him.

samuel chung / blindspot of marvel (616). WHY IS HE NOT A MAJOR CHARACTER IN ZDARSKYDEVIL? RACISM. THAT IS WHY.

mary winchester née campbell of supernatural. the fact that she was NOT immediately embraced by the fandom upon her resurrection is absolute garbage. i was writing garbage mary meta in like, season eight pushing back against the perception that if mary had raised sam & dean instead of john, everything would've been perfect and wonderful and canon would be solved, as though she wasn't a deeply fucked up person just from the glimpses we saw of her in seasons 4 and 5!! as though she didn't pioneer the issues that made sam girls cry over him!! anyway mary got resurrected and turned out to be kind of selfish, but still no one beats carver-era sam and dean for selfishness, and also her children were grown, how was she supposed to demonstrate unconditional love? anyway mary DID effectively utilize girl power by betraying her sons and hooking up with Bad Ianto.

honorable mentions:

wanda maximoff (616 and the good mcu version that lives in my head) & jean grey (all realities), who i love in theory but have also never had a storyline that i liked. whitney frost (agent carter), raina (agents of shield), & melinda may (agents of shield), who i straightforwardly adore but haven't engaged in enough discourse around them to like. be mad about it. they all want what izayoi aki has, which is well-written redemptive character arcs. 😔

if this looks comics/marvel-heavy to you... you're right. 😔 no one knows how to abuse a character like marvel comics/studios. even if they do right by one version of a character (xmcu erik) they will make up for it by raking another version of them over the coals (ults erik. i love him but also i love the cw show supernatural. my taste is questionable in the extreme).

Y / YOUR SECONDHAND FANDOMS in order of my personal familiarity with the source material: she-ra, various marvel runs i personally don't vibe with (avengers vol 3, new mutants, & venom come to mind), the witcher, london spy, various parts of fassbender's and mcavoy's ouevres 😔, bts (NO ONE CANCEL ME I JUST LOVE A WOMAN WITH BAD TASTE), dc comics & related fandoms, star wars esp. the mandalorian, [this is the point at which i stop enjoying the fanart and posts i don't understand], good omens, hades the game, the old guard, the magnus archives, mdzs / the untamed.

but honestly if something comes up on my dash enough that i have no familiarity with, i'll block it? there was a period of time right after the old guard came out where i couldn't throw a stone on my dash without hitting an old guard post, and i was really seriously avoiding any information for fear i might get sucked into it. so i blocked it. no shade on whatever i've blocked or its fans whatsoever (sometimes i still read the posts, for example i block "star wars" but read most of the posts anyway--what can i say i am not immune to space himbo/cgi mark hamill) & in fact i hope my use of unique tags encourages people to block my fandoms that they're not into!

Z / JUST RAMBLE this has been less of an issue lately, but one thing i used to see a lot was posts going around encouraging people not to complain that they didn't like a certain trope, or wished a fandom generally wrote a character differently, etc. the reasoning was usually "a writer--fragile beings that they are!--who does write that trope/that characterization will see it and feel bad." & while i understand that, and i have come around to the idea of erring on the side of not leaving criticism on fic when no guidelines are given, i really think that there needs to be room in fandom for people to complain about it for comletely trivial reasons without being met with snide responses of "if you want to see it, write it yourself."

it's not that i don't completely believe that it will make writers feel bad--i was a particularly sensitive writer for years and seeing those "i hate when writers ______" posts absolutely didmake me feel awful--& it's not about thinking that writers need to "grow a thicker skin" or anything like that. it's more of an appreciation that sometimes these people are also writers, & that a general "i don't like when" post is very different from going onto someone's fic and saying "fuck you specifically" in the comments. it's about the way nowhere else do we say to people with petty complaints "hey you shouldn't make this post on your blog about how you hate the sound of trumpets, it could make beginning trumpet-players really sad!" it's about the way that a rule of "only positivity in fandom please!" can quickly stifle criticism of actually important things, like racism & ableism. not to mention that, well, complaining about shared pet peeves is the foundation for many a fandom friendship.

anyway. just let me be crotchety. get off my lawn, etc.

[ the meme in question ]

[redheadedafrican]

Pied Piper

Without any burning emotion, spark of inspiration or any particular topic I feel I need to address, maybe I should actually put some effort into this one.

Time to see if I'm actually any good at this.

Walk with me.

I loathe self help books. Barely get to turn the first page before the snoozles come calling and I'll wake up to a miraculous page 57 with the light on an a timestamp 1.17am (My ability to assimilate knowledge in my sleep is undeniable and, if I do say so myself, second to none) . It's not that I cannot read these books but in a sense, I reaaaaaaaly really really don't want to. I do not appreciate an author who is simply forcing his opinions down our throat and expecting us to adopt these opinions and sentiments as our own and shape the rest of our lives (or the two weeks it takes to finish the book and a bonus application week) accordingly. (please tell me you see the hot flaming irony)

No, I like my books old-school, fiction with a plot that will keep me enticed with a character development unparalleled and only in competition with the characters ability to overcome. Orrrrr... Thousand paged and filled with theoretically psycho-analytic references from these big names synonymous with understanding of the human nature and the human character. (oh the temptation to strew emojis all through this piece) I've really come to appreciate avid readers who appreciate every literary works for what it is not for the plot or the lesson, they literally don't judge the book by its cover or its caption. Today you find them with a copy of 'the mind of the moralist', tomorrow 'the subtle art of not giving a fuck'. And the next, they're re-reading 'the fault in our stars' a sixteenth time.

So my boss has this friend, who I think is also an advocate.... I met him in a brown padded jacket, white khakis with multiple ink-stains in questionable areas, had a scruff and a few white hairs despite seeming like he's in his thirties. Oooh and the boots, can't forget his signature worn out brown boots. The first time I met him is when he came to the office to help in preparing for a complicated appeal involving sums of money I only see when the TV is broadcasting another graft scandal charge. I walk into my boss' office and at the first glance, assume that this is one of those sumbua clients, you know, the ones who you know from waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay then and they have an issue in your area of profession so you kinda have to help them.

Fast-forward and I walk into this humans office to an amazing sight.  Chaos and pandemonium cannot even describe what I was looking at. But, there was something, something in all this crazy that was just beautiful. On his desk, two books, no bookmarks but you can tell they've been touched very recently. All round the office, piles and heaps of well kept but slightly worn books that you can easily tell were store bought. On floors on cabinets, behind glass cabinets on top of and behind everything there was a book. Thousands of pages of hundreds of paperback texts of all sorts and all genres.. Scenic can't even define whatever I was looking at in that small cramped office. I dont think he noticed my shock but I also don't think he's very in touch with humanity so I cant blame him.

(here's what I didn't mention, when this man spoke about the matter that he had no more a stake in than giving my boss some advice on a few angles of approach, we were in utter awe and it seemed like neither my boss or I could argue out a single fact from the massive bundle that we had worked on for hours on end.)

I still don't know if the man is briliant because of his reading culture or intelligent in addition to it but I get this slight fangirl giddyness every time he opens his mouth to make a point. And I want to have that. The kind of reading culture that can enable me to deliver that kind of flood of dopamine every time anyone thinks of even opening this little online diary.

Maybe I should get over my issue with authors who reference 700 authors in their 300 page book, giving me advice on who I should be tomorrow. Maybe that's not what it's all about and it's okay to have preferences and judge and still be good at this.

Maybe then I'll end up somewhere on a pdf printout on this legendary man's four rented walls. Maybe even on his desk at some point. A boy can dream. Oh wait, I can't call myself that anymore, shit.

Anyway, back to media consumption like the sheep I am. I'm sorry I lost my point somewhere in here and somewhere between Yvone Okwara's thighs.

Goodnight.

And happy pre-birthday MC, I doubt you read these nightly rants though.

Next time on this series of things I'm highly opinionated about but are actually clueless on............ photography.

Love Vinnian.