#also i don't care about realistic accuracy. Sorry

[bewareofjabberwock]

I've been on suuuuch a dinosaur kick lately Help

I hate this about my brain but oh well. It's less stressful than not having a current fixation unfortunately enough!

[kuyurasu]

Spider Lily

Dottore x Reader

Part 1

Part 2

Summary ; Soulmates are tied with their lifespan. After being sold to a man as a slave in sumeru, you forgot about the boy you had saved as a child. He didn't.

WC ; an obsene amount

Reading time ; depends.

Warnings ; a fuck ton. Porn with plot, p in v, mentions of rape and sodomy BUT NOT APPLIED or discussed in further chaps, trauma, severe abuse, slavery, suicidal thoughts, realistic healing, dark side of teyvat basically, heavy sexual content in the future, oral (m+w), praise, degradation, spanking, dom/sub, rough, soft, sweet, mean idc just being rabbits., so many more... don't be nervous, I'm just a little pinch of mentally insane.

... Haunting Adeline, anyone?

Authors note : Enjoy and sorry for being MIA, life fucking me hard-core in the ass. Also, I don't care who reads this. I'm not your fucking mom. I ain't gonna tell you what to read.

Perhaps it was a cruel fate that brought you to where you are now. Something messed up the fairytale, princess wonderland story you were supposed to be in. and somehow, you were here.

If you could curse the gods above, Celestia, and everything, you would. But physically, your tongue was tied. Incapable of muttering but a few words. It was a cruel world to be living in, and while others were blessed, you were in the dirt. Beneath all of them. A slave, they called you. Your own father sold you just so your mother couldn't save you, run away, or live without having a slave tattoo etched on your wrist.

Your father was a cruel man. Heartless, even. He didn't see anything wrong with abuse, it seemed, or treating his daughter or wife like cattle. He cut off the tip of your tongue when you screamed and fought with him as he sold your older brother, ultimately resulting in his death. He broke your bones and scarred your flesh beyond recognition. And then sold you away.

It was when you were 4 years old, though, that you first met the emotion of happiness. It was soft and warm. It started in the center of your chest and slowly spread out to your entire brain. It was definitely infected, yet so beautiful.

"Are you okay?" You asked softly, your eyes softening at the little boy in front of you. He was dirty and breathing heavily, yet he was wearing nice Sumeru clothing. It made your heart ache that he was clearly better than you, and yet, your slightly shorter tongue couldn't stop itself from speaking to him. Your voice was shaky and raspy from years of silence.

The little boy did not seem to mind; he actually had a fascinated look in his eyes at the sight of her semi-cut tongue.

The boy looked around frantically, though, at the sound of yells and searches among the villagers. They were looking for him.

"Please, help me." He asked for you. His bright red eyes were the only thing you could make out from the night sky, the mud covering his body, and his trembling form. Regardless, something struck a chord in your heart to help him. Perhaps it was something that you knew would be direct disobedience to your father, but helping anyone and getting back at him was all that pushed you to help the little boy.

You ran into the house, not even bothering to hide your footsteps until you made it to the small cabinet that hid the medical kit. The forest rangers provided every household in the rainforest with them, and who knew you would be using them on someone other than yourself and your mother?

You ran from the house, soft little breaths escaping your lips as you made it back to the boy with little time passing. You were secretly surprised your father did not hear you, so he must be out somewhere.

"H-Here." You crouched next to him, holding out the medkit to him. The red-eyed boy deftly began to pull everything out and use the supplies with unexpected accuracy for a little child.

You looked up nervously, watching the group of villagers go in hoards as they looked for someone—the little boy, not that you knew that. Not that he told you. He wrapped his injured foot and hand before catching sight of the slavery tattoo branded on your wrist. "What's that?" He asked quietly, his small, pale hand grasping your wrist before you could hide it.

You were stunned into silence for a moment, speechless as to what to say in response. You swallowed before answering, "My father wishes to sell me to Hadanish."

"The slave owner near the desert?"

You gave a small, reluctant nod in response to his inquiry, knowing it was something to be ashamed of, even terrified of. The muddy boy grabbed your shoulders, pulling you close.

"Come with me." He pleaded with you. How could he let the little girl who saved him go into slavery? It would kill him alive. No one has ever shown him kindness before you. He couldn't let his savior just die. He knew what happened to slaves, especially women. He was disgusted at the mere concept of you being in the clutches of Hadanish, a man known for his rape, sodomy, and abuse. You already looked to have experienced hell; he couldn't bear thinking of you experiencing more of it.

"N-No, I mustn't... I have to stay with my mother. sh-she needs me."

He grasped the little girl's cheeks, making them muddy as well, while the yells and hollers of the villagers looking for someone persisted. He shook his head, seeing the tears in the little girl's eyes. It was sad that you already seemed so grown up. "You saved me. I will never forget this. I will save you, I swear." He whispered to you, his heart breaking as he knew he had to leave. He had to go now.

You stammered slightly, your heart pounding in your chest, as you began to watch the little boy stand, taking the medkit with him. "W-Wait!" She called out for him, and luckily, he did pause. "What's your name?" She asked him softly, receiving a faint smile from him.

"Zandik, and yours?"

You whispered your name, only for him to nod and run off into the night.

It has been over 500 years since you were alive. It was weird considering you thought that you'd have been passing away like any normal person... But when you got to 40 years old and you still hadn't aged past 23, you knew something was wrong.

So did Hadanish, but he took advantage of it. He knew that as a slave who had no signs of age or death, you were like the perfect worker. It wasn't until your bones ached and threatened to break after hours of labor that he let you rest, only to get about 5 hours of sleep, and that's being very generous. He sent you to nation after nation in chains as a walking slave to serve from master to master; you wouldn't be surprised if everyone forgot about you—just something like a package for them.

Slowly, over the span of 200 years, you began to believe them. Tormented by what you saw through the ages, by the age of 396, you were so deep and lost in your own mind that it was like all you could think about was doing your labor. Until your bones break, until you throw up and can't think about your own name, until you forget to be.

It was at age 512, 5 years ago, that some person helped you. Practically saved you, as you were near death one particular night.

That morning, you woke up to a strange, nagging feeling. Something is screaming in your brain to get out of there. It was weird. After all the years you had spent completely alone in your head while your body got abused left and right, it was odd to hear a sense of self-preservation still remaining.

It was before 4 a.m. on a Wednesday when you got that dreadful feeling. It was something that you had never truly experienced before. Something in your gut told you that if you did not leave in less than 10 minutes, you'd never wake up again.

Carefully and strategically, you stood; being used to the chains that clamped down on your ankles, you shuffled silently to your current master. Asleep, unaware of whatever danger was lurking near the camp. It set your teeth on edge, the approaching lethalness, but the best you could do right now was get the hell out of there.

Your heart pounded and ached in your chest. It had been so long since you felt like hope was even possible in your situation. Maybe it was when you turned 124 that you stopped believing? You forgot. It didn't matter now. To hell with all the past grievances, you were getting out. Today.

With a shakiness you hadn't experienced in awhile, you reached for your master's pocket. The dogs around you, also chained to the metal post, did not stir. Neither did any of the other people as you slipped your hand around your key—a delicate yellow shade. It caused your breath to stutter as you weakly walked behind one of the tents, carefully unlocking your chains, as the idea of them waking up to their prized forever slave to be escaping...

Yet they were trusting. In over a decade of events and masters, you had never once tried to escape. Before today. It was because, at the ripe age of 4, you were already out working for your father—minor tasks, but still. Then you joined your brother; it was ingrained in your very soul to be a slave. To be a worker. They trusted that their product wasn't even aware she could escape. but they underestimated the power of instincts and wanting to remain alive, even for you.

The key twisted, and the lock came undone a second more. It was like time froze for a long, agonizing second, waiting and listening to anyone waking up to the betrayal—no, the resistance of a slave.

When nothing happened, you took off in a sprint. It felt so weird to fully extend your weak, shaky legs, but you told yourself that it was the most freeing, beautiful feeling. The nation of Natlan was beautiful yet savage; the land was not suited for the unfit, yet luckily for you, being a slave that worked until the skin was completely off your feet and bleeding, you were quite capable of this. It was like the pain of you running for hours on end didn't even phase you; the wheeze of your breaths did not stop you, nor did the trembling of your legs to take a breath prevent you from running all the way until you physically collapsed on the sands of Fonatine, laughing like a fool.

It had been far, far too long since you smiled and laughed until you were gasping for air while your legs trembled. Sore and probably having broken bones from your relentless running, while your head was spinning with exhaustion and dehydration. You were on a delirium high, dying as you lay on the beach.

After so long, you had basically killed yourself by escaping. It didn't make you sad; in fact, you laughed even more. Until you were puking up the water and bread from yesterday's lunch. It was hilarious!

You did all this just to die! It was so...

So… beautiful! It was like nothing you had ever experienced before. A crazed expression on your face as suddenly you could not laugh anymore. Your chest was just falling and rising rapidly while your heart rate shot up to levels you'd never felt before. looking up into the sky with wide, shaky eyes.

For some reason, the little boy you helped when you were just a small child flashed before your eyes. Oh yeah. Did he live a good life? You wondered, Did he suffer but escape earlier than you? Should you have accepted his offer to escape?

Maybe you did have a regret in your miserable life. The one choice you could've made could've changed your very life. What would it have looked like? Would your brother have lived?

"H-Hold me." You whispered out, unable to even lift a finger as you stared up in the sky, unable to breathe any longer as, for some reason, it was like life had swept under your feet...

The water dripped slowly. Just dripping in her open mouth to slowly hydrate her body so as not to put her in shock. Foolish girl, she already looked like she had put her heart through a shock. It was lucky she was even barely alive. Although he couldn't necessarily blame her, not after seeing the several slave tattoos all over her body when cleaning her up.

Perhaps it's for the best that she did such a thing, so she knows what life feels like. Overwhelming would be an understatement. He would probably tell her to look after that insanity she felt for that short amount of time; perhaps she could find life where she found death.

Maybe.

He would have to report to the doctor that he would not be coming back until tomorrow, which did worry him slightly. but if he told the harbinger that he had found another rare experiment item, he would let it pass.

"Foolish girl. The world has done you cruelty, yet I have to use this tactic. Sigh." The man gently placed a damp cloth atop her forehead, cooling down the fever ravaging her insides. She would take a while to heal, but that was why he was here. As a Fatui operative, he had never truly saved a life. It felt nice.

Perhaps she would be suited for a life in Snezhnaya; who knows? All he knew in this moment was that she was dying.

"Your soulmate is probably waiting for you somewhere. C'mon, foolish girl, wake up for them."

[seikatsu-ga-tsuzuku]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

This is gonna be very hard to decide but I'll try my best. Gonna stick this under a Read More 'cause this shit boutta be long as hell:

1) Neku Sakuraba from The World Ends With You

He's the main character of the story that changed my life. He was very relatable to me at the time I first consumed TWEWY over a decade ago, and even now I still have a lot in common with him. Neku is very important to me because taught me a lot and impacted me in a way that I feel like I'd be a completely different person had I never encountered TWEWY during those formative years.

2) Kakashi Hatake from Naruto

I don't have some profound reason for Kakashi like I did Neku. But I think he was the very first character I ever became obsessed with or cared about deeper than just liking them because I liked the media they were in. And realistically, what's not to like about him.

(From here onward the accuracy of the list may dwindle because of the sheer amount of media I've consumed. I'll probably forget someone or important or simply be unable to decide, so take who I choose with a pinch of salt, especially in order. I have many faves and I am only certain about Neku and Kakashi's places on this list).

3) Sophie Hatter from Howl's Moving Castle

Because HMC is my favorite Ghibli movie I may be biased, but I always looked up to Sophie due to her strength and capacity to love free of judgments and despite any ugliness, inside or out. She's pretty, kind, brave, and tough, all the things I wanted to grow up to be as a kid when I first saw HMC.

4) Shizuku from Whisper of the Heart

Shizuku is one of my favorites for a more specific and personal reason; because we're both writers. I see in her a lot of myself when I was younger and even now. Having the desire to write something you can be proud of and satisfied with, to the point of being hard on yourself and emotional when you fall short of your own expectations. She's a complicated ball of emotions, but she's got tenacity and a love for whimsy that she puts into her writing. I just find her relatable and lovable.

5) Haruki Nakayama from Given

I just feel a spiritual connection to Haruki. We're kindred spirits, in the way we act, think, view ourselves. How we experience love and the relationship we have to our craft. He really is just like me fr.

6) The Chocobros from FFXV

Nooow I know this is cheating by including all of them, pero like... Do not separate! No but realistically, I can't choose one of them over the other because I love them all for different reasons, but I'd also be remiss to not add any of them to this list. They all had such an impact on my life, brought me joy during a particularly dark time, and their friendship and bond is something I envy and seek to have for myself someday.

7) Kotetsu T. Kaburagi from Tiger & Bunny

Would y'all crucify me if I said he's my favorite superhero across all media? I mean it honestly. Kotetsu is the embodiment of what a hero should be, his attitude, morals, and passion for helping others. He's like the perfect protag to me. He gets bonus points for being a goofy dorky single dad who's tryng his best, and is also hot.

8) Shigeo Kageyama from Mob Psycho 100

Do I even need to explain this one. Mob taught me so much about being kind and forgiving to not only others but yourself. Not many pieces of media have touched me in a way that MP100 has, and Mob fits into a lot of my favorite protag tropes. He's just a simple, sweet darling boy and he's so cherished and important to me.

9) Yona from Akatsuki no Yona

One of the female protagonists of all time. I love her for many of the same reasons I love Sophie, but she's just 10x more cool. As Spike Spiegel once said, I love a woman who can kick my ass.

10) My OC Seth Manolis

Now I realize this may be cheating but I couldn't decide on the last character, and I'd argue he technically counts according to your criteria, because he's the protag of two novels I wrote myself. I created Seth when I was 14, writing little "journal entries" about his life on Deviantart back in the day to cope with me starting high school, but over the years his story has evolved into something serious and now I'm writing a whole trilogy about him (on the third book now). He's very important to me because writing his story has got me through a lot in my life, and I put so many pieces of myself into him, although not exactly a self-insert. I can go on all day about Seth, but just know he's my special little blorbo who I don't know what I would've done without. (Art is commissioned from @/bumblevip on IG.)

[mercuryandglass]

Sorry OP if you never intended anyone to scroll so deep into the #swbts tag to find this post again but I have and I now cannot stop myself from responding. Please feel free to ignore my ramblings if you no longer care about this topic.

So, I'm not going to try to proclaim that the gender of both Zhu and Ouyang doesn't skew very masculine, because that's an interpretation I can both understand and respect, but I can try to give a justification why they might feel that way, and maybe also present you with some conflicting evidence. Due to the sheer length of my response, I've stuck my conclusion at the top. If you want to see my actual explanation, look under the read more.

4. Conclusion

I don't want to say that your reading was wrong, but I certainly don't agree with it.

Shelley Parker-Chan depicts a devastatingly realistic take on the historical misogyny of the far east, and she depicts it in a clearly negative way. Ouyang is so miserable precisely because he has internalised misogyny. Zhu doesn't achieve self-actualisation until she learns to more fully accept her empathetic connection with women.

No matter how misogynistic the world itself is (and the justification of historical accuracy for having such a world is, in my opinion, a very valid one), the depiction itself is not actually sexist. The message is actually very clear in that regards: institutionalised misogyny results very directly in misery; getting over internalised misogyny is the only way forward even if one rejects the gender binary.

As for Zhu being trans-masc, despite her solidly masculine gender presentation (which is, in case you missed it, something that she does for the sake of her own survival and other selfish desires), Zhu doesn't consider herself as a man at all ("she wasn't made of the same pure male substance as Zhu Chongba. She had a different substance"). Moreover, Ma Xiuying, Zhu's wife, the person who she is most comfortable around, the one who is the closest to seeing Zhu exactly as she is in her complete and terrible glory of ambition and amorality, sees Zhu as a being made of a substance that is neither man nor woman.

Like, I don't actually know how much more clear SPC can make Zhu's gender identity more clear while staying away from anachronisms like the modern term "nonbinary".

Anyways, as mentioned earlier, full explanation under the cut. (Contents: 1. Ouyang; 2. Zhu; 3. Misogyny)

1. Ouyang

With Ouyang, I think it's important to point out that he was probably cis before he became a eunuch, and that his genderqueerness comes to him mainly through trauma and discrimination. The fact that, as a young boy, he was raised as a son is a very crucial aspect of his character. In fact, his sole goal in life is constructed on a fragile foundation of filial piety and filial duty—being a son is all that he has left; avenging his family's shame is the only thing driving him forward. He is the embodiment of toxic masculinity.

Only, his body isn't masculine. It was mutilated in the most humiliating act that his owners could conceive of, and now, despite having been born a boy and raised a son, he will never become a man. His superficial beauty and his barbarian heritage are both indications that he lacks the masculinity necessary to turn him into a real person in the eyes of almost everyone around him. The sense of feminity that everyone sees in him is the source of his greatest shame. He tries so hard to be a man, but yet he (alongside everyone around him) thinks that he cannot be.

So yes, of course he perpetuates misogyny, both internally and externally. It is the only thing he can be—because it never occurs to him to ever try to accept the feminity that resulted from the traumatic mutilation that marked the end of his childhood, because if he accepts that he's not purely a son, then why is he so set on revenge? Why is he not consenting to be Esen's kept barbarian-slave-eunuch-general and forgetting the blood debt of all nine degrees of his family and living a life of glorious battle?

He rejects the part of himself that prevents him from the normative cycles of family (or, as the narrative likes to call it, "the pattern of the world") because otherwise he would have to accept the humiliation of being outside it, and the pride that was instilled in him as a young boy cannot allow that to happen.

Following that, he doesn't just participate in the misogyny of the ancient far east (not, as OP said, merely a "sexist fantasy world", but actually a mildly fantasticised version of a very real historical context) because everyone else around him is misogynistic and he is sort of a man. As Madam Zhang said, "women remind [him] of everything [he] hate[s] about [him]self." His misogyny is foremost internalised; he hates that part of himself that everyone (including him) views as disgustingly and aberrantly feminine. He's genderqueer, but he doesn't want to be.

2. Zhu

Meanwhile, Zhu has always known that she was not a man. She was only ever pretending to be, because otherwise, the world would treat her as nothing. Fighting to preserve this pretence at masculinity is the only thing she thought would save her from her fate of being an object, of nothingness, of death. Whether or not fate actually exists in this universe, whether or not the heavens truly can see her, Zhu believes they can, and she also believed that the only path she could forge towards greatness lay in pretending to everyone (including herself) that she was her brother.

As a child, she believed that there were only two options—feminine or masculine; yin or yang; nothingness or greatness. Not just her, either, everyone else around her believed the same things: you're either one or the other. And Zhu was terrified of nothingness. She wanted greatness so badly, and of course, the only option she had was to lie.

Except, no matter what, she was always keenly aware that it was a lie. She was not a true man, because she couldn't be, because she's not truly Zhu Chongba—that's her brother, her dead brother who everyone said was destined for greatness only he gave up and she had to bury him. And she's okay with not being a true man, too, because she was never told that she deserved to be. Every moment of her masculinity is performative, even the moments when she's trying to convince herself that she is Zhu Chongba, because it's all just a show for the heavens to notice her and grant her the fate of greatness. (As an aside, the Chinese term for Mandate of Heaven, 天命, is also translatable as fate in contexts that don't relate to rulership.)

From that logic, Zhu couldn't be a woman, either—not to the rest of the world, not to the heavens, not even to herself. She was only ever pretending at being a man, but she also has to reject her own femininity in order to do it. It started out as internalised misogyny of nothingness=feminity and greatness=masculinity, but it later became just a statement of fact. Of course Zhu wasn't a woman; she never had any womanly experiences, and she doesn't want any womanly experiences.

Of the three people who know that Zhu isn't biologically male: Xu Da thinks of her as a brother ("What difference does it make to me? You're my brother, whatever is under your clothes"); Ma Xiuying thinks of her as something in between ("neither male nor female, but another substance entirely"); while Jiao Yu probably thinks of her as primarily a function of her physically feminine body ("She was disturbed to recognise an assessing quality to his look, as if he were peeling off her clothes and judging her based on something about her physical body.").

Notice that Xu Da accepts her performed gender, but that his relationship with Zhu is fundamentally on a more surface level than Ma Xiuying's relationship with Zhu (less intimate, but no less steadfast). Compare that to Jiao Yu, whose attitude evokes very visceral distaste in Zhu. And finally, the one person who sees Zhu as she is—as something that is neither man nor woman, nor even masculine or feminine, but as a third substance altogether—is Ma Xiuying, who Zhu marries.

In the end, Zhu's genderqueerness manifests in a way that I (personally) read as purely nonbinary, probably of the third gender school of thought. She is not of a feminine or masculine substance, neither yin nor yang, a substance that she shares with her greatest enemy, the eunuch general Ouyang. Unlike Ouyang, however, Zhu is comfortable with not being wholly masculine, and thus she actively seeks her fate, rather than walk grimly towards it the way Ouyang does.

3. Misogyny

As previously mentioned, Ouyang is blatantly misogynist primarily because he hates the non-masculine aspects of himself. But Zhu doesn't hate herself! Why does Zhu perpetuate the misogyny of the setting, then? Well, part of it is because she has to. Remember Jiao Yu and how he treats Zhu after finding out about her biological reality? Zhu has very particular goals, and playing into the existing power structures helps her achieve her goals. That's her greatest character flaw, and as much as I want her to overcome it, as much as I want Ma Xiuying will be a better influence on Zhu than Empress Xiaocigao (the historical analogue to Ma Xiuying) ever was on the Hongwu Emperor (the historical analogue to Zhu), I also don't have much hope of it actually happening, since part of me suspects that Shelley Parker-Chan plans to more or less follow history.

But still. Even if Zhu doesn't push back against misogyny in a way that we as a modern audience might consider ideal I personally think it's simply because the modern world is on, like, the fourth wave of feminism or something. Meanwhile, the setting of the narrative isn't even on the first wave yet. Slowly, about a third of the way through the novel, as Zhu came to accept the advantage she possesses in her unmasculine ability to empathise with the women who grew out of girls just like the little girl Zhu once was, Zhu sort of incited within herself that first wave of feminism—the wave that went, hey, wait, actually women are people, not property.

In fact, Zhu is the one who tells Ma Xiuying, who tells Lady Rui (pregnant widow of the dead governor of Lu who OP mentioned), that they can have desires the same way that men do, that they are worthy of being treated like people. We're not onto the part where people start clamouring to say, hey, wait, but you don't have to try to be masculine in order not to be treated like property; even women who are meek and submissive are people, too. This world isn't there yet. They're still trying to establish that it's possible for people who are not men to accomplish great deeds and be worthy of personhood.

I'm still conflicted about She Who Became the Sun's gender politics because the two main protagonists are genderqueer (the author said it but you can't guess in text about Ouyang because his whole thing is being seen as a man and not an eunuch) but both violently reject femininity and embrace wholeheartedly masculinity and being seen as a man. Also there's only one woman character and she just... stays home during the various campaign her "husband" goes on and literally does nothing except speaking about being kind only to stay with Zhu at the end who literally just murdered a child for power like wtf?

(I'm reaching there's a second woman in the story and she's a pregnant widow. Also both the women trust Zhu because she has boobs and manipulating them is the only time Zhu is in touch with her "feminine side" -hate that word)

I know not two non binary people are the same (including me) but seeing both of them reject any kind of feminity was very "there's no place for women in this sexist fantasy world and I will not do anything to subvert that" thing

Am I misunderstanding the book? Or Zhu's character? Because if it were not for she/her pronouns I would have read her as a trans man

[phantombanquet]

SSR Fairy Gear Ortho Personal Card Story “The Best Evolution” Part 1

Gymnasium

Ortho: Yes, my body and beacon adjustments are perfect. Next, I'll have to...

Deuce: Ortho, I changed the setting of the equipment like what you said.

Epel: Sorry for the wait. We also brought the materials that you asked for.

Yuu: It was heavy.... / Is this okay?

Ortho: Thanks! I was just about to start working on the next one!

Deuce: What's next?

Ortho: It's the projection mapping rehearsal!

I just wanted to make a few final adjustments to improve the accuracy of “Camouflage Illusion”.

Sebek: Looking before you leap...¹ So that's what it is. Good thinking.

Ace: So how come you're so good at this...

Jack: But once again, it's a real amazing view.

There are lots of lights, cameras and monitors, a large screen...

Epel: As Ortho-kun told me, I borrowed a lot of colored clothes from everyone in the dorm, but—

Grim: I really can't imagine what they'd be used for.

Ortho: Fufu. For now, Ace Trappola-san and Jack Howl-san, can you change into this?

Jack/Ace: Eh?! This is...

Ace: Aren't we supposed to be rehearsing for a fashion show... Why are you making us change into new clothes?

Jack: Really.. The stage costumes have a lot of fine decorations, so I have to be careful when taking them off.

Ortho: Sorry, I wanted to try different patterns to make the illusion successful.

You never know what dress color the fairy queen will wear tomorrow.

Jack: Dress color? Does it have a connection to the mission?

Ortho: It's a big possibility! It's not an exaggeration to say that it's the biggest concern in making the illusion successful.

Epel: R-Really?! But, what do you mean by “biggest concern”?

Ortho: Fufu. I guess it would be quicker to actually show it instead of explaining it.

Everyone, look at the screen!

BZZT!

Epel: The one projected on the screen is... The venue for the Fairy Gala?

Deuce: It's super realistic. The trees and flowers appear the same, but if you look even closer, you can also see birds and butterflies flying around.

Jack: If you listen carefully, you can even hear the birds chirping and flapping their wings.... It's like bein' in the venue itself.

Ortho: Don't be surprised just yet. After all, we still have to show the illusion.

Ace: ...Ah. I think I know what Ortho wants to show.

Ortho: Really? Then, I'll ask Ace-san to stand infront of the screen.

Ace: Okay~

Deuce: Ace wearing sportswear in a fashion show...

What can I say, it feels surreal.

Ortho: Just keep on looking at Ace. Let's go... 1, 2, 3!

BZZT!

Everyone: ACE DISAPPEARED!?

Ace: Oh, so it worked out?

Sebek: I can't see Ace, yet I can hear his voice!? What on earth is going on!?

U-UWAAAAHH!? M-Monster... A monster with no upper body is roaming around!!

Ortho: Thank you for the expected reaction, Sebek Zigvolt-san. I'm glad that you're surprised.

Hah, as I thought, I still need to make adjustments. I'll just turn off the lights and video for a while.

Ace: What was that miserable face you made, Sebek~? Ah, were you so scared that you got goosebumps?

Sebek: ABSOLUTELY NOT! I WAS MERELY SURPRISED BECAUSE ONLY THE LEGS WERE MOVING AROUND!

Epel: I was surprised too... Hey, Ortho-kun. Can you explain what just happened?

Ortho: Of course. Tomorrow, we will perform an illusion to make the fairy queen disappear from the stage.

And now, I'm running the program under the assumption: “if the fairy queen wears a red dress”.

That's why the upper body that was wearing the red T-shirt was completely absored into the background...

Any other color... In this case, it seems that the processing of the black portion didn't coordinate well with Ace-san's movements.

Sebek: How strange....! If things continue on like this, agonizing cries² will echo throughout the venue!

Ortho: Yup! So I want to program the dress for it to instantly adapt to any color or material.

Sebek: ...I understand. So that is why you asked to collect clothes of various colors.

Ortho: Thanks for understanding it so quickly!

That's why I want everyone to join me for some preliminary verification and countermeasures. Is it alright to ask?

Yuu: Of course! / Let's make this a hit!

Everyone: YEAH!

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—

Ortho: Hmm.... I want to reduce the image delay a bit longer to make it completely transparent.

Ace-san, could you try walking at a speed of 2.78 kilometers per hour?

Ace: I don't even know what you mean by that speed! Is it a bit faster? Or slower?

I mean, isn't time to take a break? I'm getting tired from changing clothes and moving around so many times...

Jack: I'm with you. I've been lookin' at the monitor for so long that my eyes are startin' to hurt....

Yuu: Grim got tired and fell asleep. / My head is starting to spin.....

Ortho: We can't take a break in this state! The show is tomorrow......

Ace: Hmm, that's true but—

???: Excuse me. May I have a word?

TO BE CONTINUED...

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—

translation notes:

¹ Sebek uses the proverb 「 念には念を入れよ 」 which directly translates to “Put care into care”. It means something like “Look before you leap”, or “One should think twice before doing something”, so I used an idiom as translation.

² Sebek uses the four character idiom 「 阿鼻叫喚 」 which is made up of the names of the two Buddhist hells: 阿鼻地獄 (Avici), which is the lowest level of hell, and 大叫喚地獄 (Raurava), which is the hell of great wailing. The idiom can either mean “agonizing cries”, or “pandemonium”, or the two hells themselves. For this context, I used the figurative meaning.

[moon-yean]

could u elaborate what was so bad about the barbarians? i saw the show and thought it was ok but i don't have enough knowledge to know what are the ideological implications of it? sorry, just really curious and wanna learn more

*takes a deep breath* oh boy, where to even begin? Thanks for your question as I might finally get this off my chest! Okay, fair’s fair, anyone who likes the show should look away now because I’m not going to mince words. And I want to reiterate that there were things about the show that I liked, mostly on a superficial aesthetical level. Generally you could tell from the get-go though that the writers are hacks who know nothing about history or good storytelling for that matter. I could’ve dealt with a show that was historically inaccurate if only the character drama had been written well. I might also have enjoyed the show more if the character drama had been mediocre but if there had been a sense of historical authenticity (not accuracy, mind; but still something tangibly more substantial than the patina they tried to throw onto their frankly embarrassingly lowbrow attempt by having parts of the dialogue translated into Latin by an expert and by hiring a good crew for the costume and props design - of the Romans at least... putting lipstick on a pig and all that, although pigs are great and the writing here is not).

Since you asked about the ideological implications specifically, I’ll start with that and work my way towards other criticisms (this is going to be LONG):

19th century nationalism: The story of Arminius and his merry band of brothers who defy the big bad Roman empire is a narrative that became especially popular in Germany in the 18th and 19th century, both with liberal patriotic movements that were advocating for the unification of the “German cultural nation” in a modern nation state (spurred by the Wars of Liberation against Napoléon Bonaparte and French occupation) and later with the völkisch movements where that nationalism segued into the pseudo-scientific racial ‘theories’ of a ‘superior German race’ which in turn was part of the ideological foundation of the genocides and atrocities committed by Germany in the 20th century (not only in WWII, see also the colonial genocide of the Herero in 1904). We cannot disentangle this predominantly racist reception history that re-invented Arminius (”Hermann der Cherusker” - “Hermann the Cheruscan” - or, indeed “Hermann the German” ha!) as the founding myth of a German people from the way this story has been depicted in media, entertainment and culture and, as evidenced by Barbarians, continues to be to this day.

Barbarians pays lip service to the fact that actually there was no German people at the time by having the tribes meet at the Ting in the first episode and have someone outright state it. These kinds of tidbits literally voiced by characters give off a strong whiff of the authors googling something, reading something on Wikipedia, and then putting it in there. I’m sorry (actually not sorry) to come down harsh on this but given what we’re talking about here, that’s just not good enough. It’s an embarrassing level of “writing”. The authors clearly have NO idea what they’re talking about or what they’re dealing with because despite their lip services, they actively reproduce the harmful narratives that were spun around this actual historical event and these actual historical figures in the 19th century. No effort was made to depict anything complex or realistic here. Case in point: Even though there’s a pretense that the tribes aren’t part of the same people, they don’t look much different from each other, they all speak the same kind of modern high German that sounds like they’re at a costume party in the year of our lord 2020 (and in the case of Folkwin, drugged out of their mind; he sounds like a guy who’d throw beer cans at passersby). They come across as basically just being separated by the few acres between their villages. And then when the big bad evil Roman empire wants to squash their resistance (Asterix did it better change my mind challenge), freedom fighter Arminius rallies them together with a heroic speech and they charge at the Romans RAAHWWHR! ... no, just no.

There would have been SO MANY ways to reframe and retell this story in a fresh, new, and exciting way that would have made for amazing character drama. The premise is so good. If we were to look at the basics of what is known, there are so many personal AND political complexities in there that just beg to be coloured in with a little imagination. I just... I don’t even know where to begin to fix the choices that the show did go with since most of them don’t make any sense, don’t contribute anything to the narrative and are just. there. Have y’all noticed that there is ZERO dramatic tension in any of the scenes? Like, what? How?? Culture clash, divided loyalties, identity issues, the way that a militaristic upbringing might warp the mind, feelings of home and belonging and displacement, the return of the lost son, the betrayal of a high-ranking officer, just, there are so many themes that the show could have focused on but it botches all of them, nothing of it feels real, earned, or logical. Characters behave in idiotic ways for the sake of the plot (I wanted to like Thusnelda, I really did, I’m always here for female characters but she was so painfully obviously written by 3 dudes who thought that feminism = praying to the good sisters of the forest and slashing your face aöldksfaökdjf plus the actress could not sell any of it, she sounded ridic).

I’m exhausted just thinking about the many ways in which the writing on the show sucked. Impaired character used as a symbol~ for other characters instead of being a character on his own? Check. Weird mystical shit? Check. Earthbound tribal people who are one with nature? Check. Death on the cross to get that Christian imagery in there? Check. Lack of female characters except feisty!badass!Thusnelda, scheming!conniving!pulling-the-strings!wife, weird!mystical!seer? Check. Varus doing a Herod by demanding first-borns to up the Christian persecuted ante? Check. (All he was missing was the mustache to twirl. Was he even a character? He looked vaguely concerned and sceptical. That was his character.)

Look, the actor Arminius was great but even he couldn’t make sense of any of it. The character work was so shoddy, it was shocking. One minute he’s still all-in with the Romans, ordering lashes for “German” mercenaries without being very conflicted about it, reminiscing with fellow Roman soldiers about the good old times in some fireside bonding, asking his foster father to go home to Rome, and then when bad!dad is like “lol no” (surely they would have had that convo before??? surely Arminius would have known how far his career could go???), Arminius turns around and goes “let’s kill 3 Roman legions!! I’M MAD!!” ... lmao dude, just...

Another favourite of mine: The romance between Thusnelda and Folkwin is supposed to be illicit and against her social status. Does anyone even notice? Does anybody even care? Why did the writers come up with Folkwin in the first place? (His name Folkwin Wolfspeer is a hoot and an embarassment in itself. I wonder whether they used some kind of Germanic name generator. They certainly did use a generic speech generator for the battle speech Arminius gives in the last episode lol)

Back to the topic of a lack of tension. Of course there can’t be any tension if the characters suck. But it’s also because of the design of the scenes and plot points. The cliffhangers are so telegraphed and artificially constructed, it’s almost hilarious. My “favourite” has got to be the one of the first episode: The “hi dad” one. Not only does Arminius go to the village with other Romans in tow who then disappear because nothing in this show makes sense but this kind of revelation also goes against everything we know about good storytelling. There’s a famous quote by Hitchcock and I’ll quote it in full because I think it absolutely applies here (and it is valid for character tension as much as it is for suspense):

There is a distinct difference between "suspense" and "surprise," and yet many pictures continually confuse the two. I'll explain what I mean.

We are now having a very innocent little chat. Let's suppose that there is a bomb underneath this table between us. Nothing happens, and then all of a sudden, "Boom!" There is an explosion. The public is surprised, but prior to this surprise, it has seen an absolutely ordinary scene, of no special consequence. Now, let us take a suspense situation. The bomb is underneath the table and the public knows it, probably because they have seen the anarchist place it there. The public is aware the bomb is going to explode at one o'clock and there is a clock in the decor. The public can see that it is a quarter to one. In these conditions, the same innocuous conversation becomes fascinating because the public is participating in the scene. The audience is longing to warn the characters on the screen: "You shouldn't be talking about such trivial matters. There is a bomb beneath you and it is about to explode!"

In the first case we have given the public fifteen seconds of surprise at the moment of the explosion. In the second we have provided them with fifteen minutes of suspense. The conclusion is that whenever possible the public must be informed. Except when the surprise is a twist, that is, when the unexpected ending is, in itself, the highlight of the story.

I hope you can see what I mean here. Barbarians continuously springs surprises on its audience but it has absolutely no tension/suspense in any of its scenes. The only time where the show even comes close to having any kind of genuinely dramatic moment is the conversation between Arminius and Varus where Arminius tries to hide his hurt and disappointment, and all the emotion in that scene is completely due to the actor since the dialogue is fairly idiotic for what is supposed to be the turning moment. Let’s go back to the basics and imagine what the show could have done differently, even allowing for the way in which the writers wanted to tell it (which, as I mentioned, is not appropriately sensitized to the misappropriation of the material in the past - but even if we go with THAT kind of freedom fighter / lost child narrative, it ought to be done well). And here now follows my actual essay of grievances:

The premise of the story, in as much as we know from history, is amazing: An officer of the Roman army, delivered to the Romans by his tribe as a child, returns to the "country" of his birth as part of the invading Roman army which oppresses the natives of the lands. He switches sides, unites different tribes and leads them to a decisive victory against the Roman army in a battle in a forest that lasted for several days and was cleverly planned by the "Germans" who end up outsmarting the Romans who are victims of ambush and the terrain, being split up and stumbling through the forest exhausted and without finding a way back to the other troops (love that the show as we have it managed to squeeze in the cliché "two armies standing on opposing sides decide to just start running towards each other, epic clash, chaos" (which is militarily so fucking stupid and nobody ever did that)).

Anyway, that premise is amazing. You could do so much with it. And if you wanted to make a miniseries about it, the biggest question would surely be: Why did Arminius switch sides? That’s the key plot point. And themes of otherness, oppression, exploitation, identity, and so on, would be a good fit. The first problem with the miniseries is that it has nothing to say about any of that. Arminius doesn’t even feel like the main character (aside from his actor being a cut above the rest). We don’t get to see much of his POV. We don’t get many meaningful conversations between him and Varus (actually just one after which he has a total character transplant). Instead, we get to spend lots of time with characters that don’t add anything in particular to the central plot nor to any of the central themes. Literally, why? 6 episodes is already pretty fucking short to make Arminius’ turn believable, so you’d better spend most of them on him. This is not material for an ensemble show (nevermind that the other characters suck and are not well-acted and written to behave stupidly... that’s just ON TOP of the fundamental issue of this show lacking a POV).

Like, you can turn this into a big Hollywood action movie about the battle or you make it a character drama where the battle is also told from a character perspective (i.e. focusing on the mounting fear and desperation of the soldiers as the battle drags on for days etc but more importantly focusing on why the battle takes place and why it’s important to both the Romans and the “Germans”). As it is, in the show, we don’t get any idea why the Romans are even there in the first place and pestering the people by demanding some tributes. And we don’t get any idea why the Germanic tribes are so opposed to this or why others of them might not be. We don’t get any of the broader political implications, we just get some eagle-stealing pranks (defiance!! cool, just agitate them in a completely stupid and arbitrary way, why don’t you) and a few people executed because the “Germans” were being stupid. That’s not the scale that’s needed here. And I don’t mean that we needed to see mass executions. In fact, I would have preferred if there had been no such hackneyed and emotionally manipulative device.

Arminius is basically absent for all the early encounters of the Romans with the “Germans”. So while we suspect that the mistreatment of the “Germans” at the hands of the Romans would be a strong motivational factor for him, we don’t actually see him witness any of few hints in that direction that we get, so it doesn’t actually matter for his character arc. I have so many issues with how his arc is written. In the first episodes, we don’t get any sense that he’s not a happy Roman. When a “Barbarian” mercenary ridicules Rome, he has him whipped and we don’t get much of a sense that he’s very conflicted about it. Even just moments before he ends up destroying his effigies of Roman gods, we see him trying to get Varus to send him back to Rome. Earlier in the same episode, he prays to those Roman gods. I’m sorry but wtf? How the turntables... If you want to make it believable that he would turn on Rome, why not start with him already being frustrated with the way that things in Rome work? With the way the army is run? And why not give him a careerist streak and make him frustrated that he can’t advance much further because of his lowly birth and background? And instead of Varus being an asshole to him about it (he’s supposed to be his foster father, surely Arminius would already know how Varus thinks about his people and surely he’d already know how far he can climb up the ranks), have Varus be sympathetic but basically like “sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”

Arminius betraying Rome shouldn’t be about Varus saying something mean~, if anything a personal connection of his with Varus should just make the betrayal harder and be something that he does despite the fact that there are Romans he cares about. If you start out the show with him already having significant doubts about his place in the Roman army and identity issues, you just need to add something to it that will finally breaks the camel’s back. Have him become increasingly agitated by the way the "Germans” are treated by the Romans. Start the show with him making to leave Rome, someone asking him whether he’s excited to return to his place of birth and him joking about it but obviously being conflicted and then overwhelmed when he actually gets there because it totally destroys his sense of self which he has built for himself (and for which we would have needed to see the contrast, even if just for one scene, of how he is treated in Rome – perhaps snobbed by others, not treated equally in some sort of social setting, could be something subtle – to show us and him that as much as he wishes, he is not and will never be accepted as a Roman).

And then when he gets to the provinces, we need to see that from his perspective. What’s his reaction to arriving there? To seeing the familiar landscapes? (Or maybe he was taken as a younger child and doesn’t actually have that many memories of it but feels a sense of belonging anyway.) There are so many scenes in this show that seem to hint at these things but they are completely random and unfocused and interspersed with the stupid village people shenanigans. Varus talks about burning down villages in retribution. Well, why don’t we see any of that? (Nevermind that it’s comic book villain level of evil, but I’m working with a fix here and not a total rewrite as would be better.) Surely it can’t be too expensive to burn down a few huts in the night. And having Arminius ride along / witness it but not say anything even though we can see these things having an effect on him. As mentioned: The worst offense is the scene when he rides to the village (with other Romans in tow!) and announces “hi dad!” just to have that cliffhanger. Wtf?

Characters doling out information that the viewer doesn’t have is the absolute worst way of telling a story and maintaining tension. It should be the other way around. How about instead you have him be part of a Roman delegation that rides into the village and demands [random, whatever, the fucking eagle if you must keep that shit] and when the Reik (whom the audience already knows to be Arminius’ father) doesn’t want to give it (because he’s not actually a weak fucking clown as almost everyone in the actual show is aside from feisty Thusnelda who’s a fierce~ fucking clown rmfe), the Romans begin beating the dad or whipping him or whatever, completely humiliating him and his people, and we see Arminius on his horse watching the show with growing unrest until the realization really hits him that this is his father (cue flashback to a very young Arminius being dragged away) and the tension keeps ratcheting until he shouts in German “that’s enough” before correcting himself to give the same command in Latin (maybe he still thinks in German, would be an interesting idea) and the Romans look at him with suspicion, like wtf was that, and the "Germans” are like, why tf does this Roman officer speak German, and it’s super awkward and shit and maybe Varus is also there and he looks at Arminius like, oh shit I need to protect my boy he’s actually all up in his feels about these wildlings let’s go back to the camp and have a talk, and so the Romans end up leaving and the “Germans” are like “wait, was that... could it have been.. remember lil Ari who you gave up... but it couldn’t be...” and meanwhile the beaten dad doesn’t want to hear any of that because he actually has never dared hope he would see his son again and also he kind of doesn’t want to see him again because he would be too ashamed to meet his eyes.

And then later we see Arminius pacing up and down in his tent because this won’t let him go, even after he had a talk with Varus, and after some agonizing he steals away in the night to go confront his father (if you want to keep that German mercenary noticing shit, have him notice that). And then we see the father in his hut and everything is quiet and we are waiting for Arminius to show up because we know he’s on his way. But we don’t know whether he wants to talk to his father or just kill him in revenge for the trauma he’s caused him. You’d show the dad and if it were a good actor, you could see so much in his unrest, maybe despite not wanting to think that that guy could be his son, he kind of knows in his heart that it must be and he’s unsettled and whatnot and then we hear someone outside the door and the door opens and there stands Arminius in a cloak and there’s none of that ridiculous music that wants to scream “epic” but falls way short. Have it be quiet. Have Arminius enter and pull back the hood and they just look at each other. And the dad looks like he wants to hug him but he doesn’t move. And Arminius looks like he wants to murder him but he actually moves to sit down, all the while they keep an eye on each other because who knows, they might actually end up murdering each other. That’s the kind of confrontation you need with a reunion like this jfc. And then they talk and it’s an important scene and I’m not going to write it all out but I hope y’all know what I mean.

I feel like you’d have to rewrite this whole show to actually give the character drama the weight that it needs and deserves because what’s happening in the show is dramatic af but you wouldn’t know because it’s so unbelievably stupidly written. I CANNOT believe that when Arminius is back in the village, he’s standing around with Thusnelda and Folkwin in a field as if they’re catching up at a high school reunion. “So, how’s it been?” “My name is now Arminius lol” “You’re kidding lol” ... uhm hello ??? Is this show a meme or...???

Actually as a last thought, I would have kept Arminius’ mother alive and killed his dad. His dad is irredeemable. He gave him away. But if we assume that he never had a substitute mother, then meeting his mother again (who was against giving him away) would make for much more interesting scenes and would also have a much stronger impact on Arminius. I’ll stop now but I just wanted to note how much I hate the writing on this show and everything it chooses to be. Thanks.

[duckuwu]

you’re accidentally convincing me to watch cm again. which is a problem. because then i’m going to end up talking with my mom about that show. again. because she also watched it and grew up military with a father at the pentagon for a few years and knows a lot about psychology so she’s a good resource on that shows accuracy which should be awesome you know????? but that means we’ll end up spending hours discussing it which means i’ll get really invested in it again and i don’t have the emotional capacity for that rn

listen, i cannot speak to whether or not the emotional capacity would be worth it, since i'm only in the 9th season (and am weirdly already kinda sad there's only less than seven seasons (of jj) left).

but that sounds like a lot of cool info from your mom, though. like i can only imagine how very very not realistic everything they do on the show is. i think they get things accidentally right sometimes, but from the experience i've had w/ various things...it's really not...

BUT that's part of the whimsy of the show that works. Honestly, this show is essentially a 'superhero' show, just without the typical powers.

(that's not to say that i don't believe that there are groups of specialized teams going about doing things. i'm aware that there are. but like...there's a lot of red tape and things of that nature that dont exist in cm'verse because that'd just slow things down on the show LOL forensic analysis alone... medical examiner findings alone... but it's a procedural show and those things usually get the magical treatment anyway)

the psychology stuff is also interesting, i definitely think that the show has gotten better in the seasons at providing the reasons, and being a bit more open minded about potential unsubs and reasons why. i especially like the ones where they realize they were wrong and one piece of information changes the whole take on the situation. really nice thing to examine, how much the littlest things could impact the psyche etc. and because it's a group doing it instead of a single individual, it's easier to understand the logic.

like reid could've easily been put into that 'sherlock-esque' trap. sherlock / lie to me...where you've got a genius who can read people and it makes them come off as arrogant etc. but reid is the ultimate sweetie, and it's partly because of how much the team cares about him and wants to help him grow.

anyway, i'm rambling... sorry not sorry i guess. lol but like if you've got a good relationship with your mom, then there's nothing wrong with diving in and enjoying those deep dives into a show. ;)

and you've already seen it, so you could skip all the yukky bits if needed. ijs.

but also also you know your own capacity, so do make sure you prioritize yourself. and if you know this aint the time, then please don't give in or whatever. feel free to blacklist my tags. i'm doing better to use common tags for less trouble for others. <3