#also i do be loving talking about my music but honestly it's been 5sos only kinda of month

[sunflowersometimes]

hello! the amazing @callouiee tagged me in their post spelling their url with songs they like for me to do the same if i wanted and i thought it would be fun! they made theirs l&h/larrie related but i have such a long url that i think I’m going to use my favorite songs as well! this will also give me an excuse to gush about some of my fav songs

so i wrote the above paragraph and then tried to find and narrow down songs which proved to be very difficult lol. i probably made it harder on myself than needed bc i wanted to choose best and most perfect songs but there are just too many. this is the best list i could come up with, but i feel pretty good with it! if anyone ever wants to talk music, i’m so down i have so many favorites.

p.s. i really truly did gush about every song i’m so sorry for how long this is

s- Satellite (Harry Styles) this song is my baby. i love her with every fiber of my being. i have dance parties by myself in my apartment when this song comes on i literally can’t get enough of it. i honestly thought matilda would be my fav song off harry’s house cause like... it’s matilda, but this is the song i come back to most often from that album.

u- U.N.I (Ed Sheeran) okay so i have so many distinct memories listening to this song on the bus to/from middle school. anything from ed’s + album was my favorite. his stuff from that time used to be my favorite music along with 1D. i thought i was so cool when i memorized the rap part lol

n- No Children (The Mountain Goats) i will admit i did find this song through the tiktok trend but i absolutely loved that trend, i thought it was so cute. i listened to the full song shortly after discovering the song and it shortly became my second most listened to song of last year. w/o getting into too much detail, this song holds a special place in my therapy journey lol 

f- Fine Line (Harry Styles) what is there to say about her? she probably holds the biggest spot in music related to my healing journey. i fully annotated her once through the lens of my own therapy and healing journey. she means a lot a lot to me

l- Like Real People Do (Hozier) i am a hozier slut and i’m not afraid to admit it. i love anything this man puts out. sometimes i listen to his music like i’m a thirsty begger and his music is the only water that’s been offered to me in weeks. i could have put any of his songs on this list and you would have gotten the same reaction out of me. he makes me feel feral and ethereal at the same time.

o- Outer Space/Carry on (5SOS) god this song will never not get me. this song was my fine line of my middle school/high school years. if i ever see this song live i’m pretty sure i’ll die on the spot. i have a half-ish sleeve tattoo planned around this song. there’s like five songs on this list that i have tattoos planned around but none of them as big as this one. everything about this song is just perfect.

w- Written All Over Your Face (Louis Tomlinson) do i even need to say anything about this one? it’s been on repeat since the album came out. it’s literally so good and i know it’s everyone’s favorite but it’s for a damn good reason. have you heard louis’ voice?????? literally perfection absolute bop and i can’t stop listening to it. this is louis’ sound and i’m so proud of him

e- Emotions (5SOS) any time i make a new playlist of things i’m currently listening to to have one shuffle/repeat, i put this entire album on there. i feel like the more i listen to it, the more addicted i get. also, Liz told me this song was very me codded and i feel like that’s so true. i’m always in my emotions lol. also also, that little clap/slap that happens every so often in this song gives me an unnecessary amount of serotonin. 

r- Right Now (1D) i also could have put any one direction song on this list but there’s something about this song that has always had a grip on my brain. immediate performance mode whenever this song comes on. they’re my boys. my babies. i’ve been a fan for a decade now which is absolutely wild. i miss them

s- Spaces (1D) this might have to be in my top 5 favorite one d songs. i don’t know if i even have an actual top 5 but if i did, this song would be in it. i feel like i’m ascending whenever i listen to this song; it’s similar vibes to satellite in dance party mode for me if that makes sense lol i can’t help but move whenever i hear this song

o- Only the Brave (Louis Tomlinson) again, does this need any explanation? there was a while when i couldn’t listen to this song bc it hurt my closeted heart too much. it still makes me sad but also very optimistic. i hope i can hear this song live one day surrounded by fellows queers who’ve also found their family through the boys. it doesn’t make it a solo song anymore then does it? we’re a family; more of a family than any church i’ve been a part of. 

m- Mum (Luke Hemmings) another album where i could put literally any song on this list bc i love them all so much. this song, however, beats the others out ever so slightly as being my favorite. i’m noticing a pattern with my favorite songs: satellite, spaces, mum. they all have a really big build up to an absolute cathartic release later on in the song. mum does give me church song vibes but in the least song ruining way possible. this song actually inspired me to make a playlist of songs that make me feel like im ascending whenever i listen to them

e- Egg and Soldier (Cosmo Sheldrake) okay okay okay i know you’re thinking that this song came super duper out of left field and is really weird and i definitely agree but here me out. all of his songs are super fun and kinda weird but so so cool and unique and unpredictable. i have yet to come across a song of his i don’t love. they all make me feel so connected to my inner child/the creativity i pushed away for so long.

t- To Be Alone (Hozier) again, i’m a hozier slut. this might be my favorite song of his but i’m unsure if i can even pick a favorite hozier song. that slide on ‘feeeeeels good’ gets me every single time. i’m weak in the knees i’m obsessed. the grungy, dirty electric guitar???? i can’t it’s too much 

i- If I Could Fly (One Direction) i couldn’t not add this one. it’s iconic and makes me cry maybe half of the time i listen. who let them write, record, and release this song? it’s literally so raw and vulnerable and i know i’ve written some pretty raw poetry but i don’t think i’ve ever written anything on this level. like ?????? i forget this song is a real song they released and not something a fanfic writer made up

m- Matter of Time (Ashton Irwin) god this album destroys me in the best way possible. and this song???? literally speaks to me and my soul. this is another one i want to get a tattoo of. it’s just like a warm hug from an older sibling/older friend. everything’s gonna be okay bud

e- evermore (Taylor Swift) I do love me some good taylor swift, especially folklore and evermore. i don’t think this one is my favorite, that’s probably the lakes, but i do remember hearing it for the first time and absolutely loosing it at the word switch at the end of the song. it still holds a special place in my heart for the hopefulness it’s able to give me whenever i don’t have a lot of it.

s- Sunflower Vol. 6 (Harry Styles) and we’re ending on the song that i wish i could be. if i could have the vibes of any song it would be this one. i’m one of those obnoxious people that make sunflowers their whole personality and whenever harry released this song i went feral for it. i love her so much and i hope i grow up and make her proud.

okay now that i’ve written more than anyone wanted to read, i want to tag some recent mutuals to do this too! Obviously there’s no pressure to do this or to write as much as i did, simply just putting a song is enough lol

@bravetemptation  @lunarheslwt  @primary-wicf​  @flyhometolou28

[allsassnoclass]

Hazel’s 2022 Writing Roundup

some of you may be thinking “but hazel, you just did a 2022 writing self-evaluation” well this is DIFFERENT this one is almost completely by the numbers and includes GRAPHS

a summary of my writing this year is under the cut!

Let’s start out easy.  How many fics did I write?  What was the fandom distribution?

11 5sos fics on AO3

2 1d fics on AO3

1 fic for the It movies on AO3

1 fic for Stranger Things on AO3

1 fic for High School Musical: The Musical: The Series on AO3

1 fic for Cobra Kai on AO3

13 ask box prompts right here on tumblr (all for 5sos)

Here’s a handy little pie chart:

As you can clearly see, 5sos still totally dominated my writing year.  I assume this will continue, although it could possibly even out slightly next year depending on how much cobra kai retains its claws in me and if I expand into any other fandoms.

Total word count: 147,702  wahoo!  That’s more words than Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austin or One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Main pairing distribution (for the 5sos ones)(friendship fics are counted under the overarching pairing, as it focuses on those two (or four) characters)

Cake: 2

Cashton: 5

Lashton: 1

Malum: 2

Mashton: 10

Muke: 2

OT4: 1

Roylum: 1

I think it’s no surprise that mashton is by far my favored pairing, but i’m surprised that cashton had so many fics when malum and lashton did not, as previously I favored those two pairings a lot and I would say cashton is tied for my third or fourth favorite pairing, rather than above either of those.  In fact, the fact that lashton has less than cake (who i historically do not write) is very surprising.  it looks like i should step up my lashton game a bit next year, although I have to confess that I don’t have any strong ideas for them right now (besides unmute, which constantly haunts me).  I also only got 1 lashton prompt request this year  out of the 15 total i received, which definitely impacted how much I wrote them.

Here’s a little pie chart, to fully show just how much mashton dominates my writing:

For ao3 ratings, I had 15 teen, 1 for general audiences, and 1 mature fic.  All of my ask box prompts are rated teen as a general rule

For my 5sos writings I wrote:

10 fics or ask box prompts that I had the ideas for or received before 2022

10 fics or ask box prompts that I had the ideas for or received during 2022

One of the ones from before 2022 has not been posted, as it’s chapter 6 of an ongoing work.  There is another fic from 2022 that is complete that I’ve been holding on to until the right now.

I started keeping track of all of my ideas and when I got them (or received the prompt for them) this year because I was curious to see how many of my fics were new ideas or not, and I’m honestly surprised that it’s so even!  I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that.  Looking at which specific fics got completed, only one of the 2022 ideas that I posted was an AO3 fic (when i watch the world burn).  The other 9 were ask box prompts from my follower milestone celebration.

I added 30 ideas to my 5sos ideas doc in 2022!

For word count, all of my AO3 fics are somewhere between 1,395 and 50,140.  pas de deux (the 50,140 word fic) is the longest fic I’ve ever written by over 20,000 words!  I will likely not stop talking about it any time soon lol.  It is also my favorite fic of the year, as it includes ballet, minnesota, and hotei within his sack, which are all things that I love dearly.

Looking ahead, what does the future of hazel fic hold?  I have no idea!  We’re playing it completely by ear.  Hopefully, it’s enjoyable for everyone involved.  If you’ve read this far, I am giving you my affection

[finewalls]

10 music recommendations you've been listening to recently

got tagged by @halosboat and @onlyforthebravee (thank u bubs) to do some 10 music recs i have been listening lately

i gotta be honest tho i have only been listening to 5sos after CALM came out like i can only rec them but imma rec some i have listened before that album came out sdfghjjhg

5 Seconds of Summer - if u arent listening to their new album C A L M what are you doing????? that shit is the best album of the year and i will fight u to death about it. also re-listen to Youngblood while u are at it bc that shit is also iconic like legends only

Conan Gray - his album Kid Krow is painfully beautiful.. also that kid (lol we are the same age) has a fucking voice of an angel

Maisie Peters - classic indie girl vibes but she be making some BOPS!! found her through Birds of Pray soundtrack and got excited that she was gonna open for Niall but... go listen to her anyway bc she makes beautiful music

Birds of Pray soundtrack - NO BAD SONG FOUND! like beautiful incredible women just making powerful and encouraging bops?? sign me the fuck up. Like i am still obsessed with Boss Bitch, Smile and Joke’s on You! also that movie is fucking good food

Blossoms - if you are looking for some indie gay shit go listen to them.. like Your Girlfriend?? slapper. I actually think Foolish Loving Spaces is the perfect soundtrack to any indie film and it has inspired me a bit to be creative as well

gnash - i only started listening to this yesterday thanks to @matchingbees​ but so far i am LOVING what i am hearing!!!

Dave - u can say what u want but PSYCHODRAMA deserved that brit award.. like that man writes some killer lyrics like he never fails to give me the chills and i’m still not over his performance at the brits

Hollywood Undead - if u like rap and hard rock this is for u.. their new album is lyrically hitting me pretty hard.. they have their problematic parts but they still remind as my fave bc i am a whore for some depressing rock.. just listen to their song Nightmare if nothing else.. (their best album is Five tho)

Winterbourne - their album Echo of Youth is pretty great but i am obsessed with Take the Golden still after all this time ( @28princesspark​ gay)

One Direction / Solo - bc let’s be honest i don’t actually really listen to anything else

anyway here’s a playlist i have had a while now where i add the current songs i’m bopping to

i tag @matchingbees​ (bc her music taste >>>> so imma need all the recs) @haznlou​ @rosesau​ @28princesspark​ @pridesobright​ @proudlarents​ @goldenxhabit​ @ltyear​ @sweetcreaturehome​ @phoenixvinyl​ @louisandthedagger​ if u wanna share ur recs pleaseee

[ro-writesstuff]

a/n: literally just realized i’ve been spitting out fanfics/blurbs for the past year and a half and you guys haven’t really gotten to know me… so here we go!

~

hello! i am the writer of this blog! you can call me ro (she/her). i’m bisexual!I love 5SOS (Ashton girls RISE), Big Time Rush (where my Kendall girls at), and musical theater (specifically for Mike Faist but we’re not gonna talk about it). I love Formula One too, hence my username.

i’d love to talk to you guys so send me a question/hello in the ask link!

requests are still open if you’d like a specific fic idea!

also, i found this from @nottheweirdest, and thought I would give it a go! i modified some questions to fit my blog hehe

~

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

😅 What’s a story or scene you’ve created that you’re embarrassed exists?

literally EVERYTHING. most def my pete davidson after a fight blurb tho. pretty cringe.

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put a smile on your face?

when person a is obviously very sad/depressed for no reason at all and person b just does a bunch of random shit just to see person a smile. and when they do person b is so elated that they’re running around/talking to the dog about how they got person a to smile like person a just said yes to their marriage proposal

Or when person a is depressed/sad and person b does a bunch of soft things just to see person a relax for a split second. (bear hugs, remembering the small things, carrying them bridal style to their bedroom)

brb gonna go cry.

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

omg in my bo burnham blurb where the reader says “i think the gods are telling us to stop being so lovey-dovey”... stOP pLEasE whAT are you doINGGGG

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

not yet… but there will be *cough ashton irwin* cough*

✍🏼 Do you have a beta reader?

nope! all me :)

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feelings, etc.

probably angst

🎢Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

def. done w/ ashton irwin..still working on part 2 but oof

✨Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it.

tbh i love my poly!5sos stuff. it’s so super fun to write

💋First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

neither, really. they just sort of annoy me lol

🎶Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

nope!I work in complete silence at 3 in the morning

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

google docs on my school chromebook 😬😬 god help me.

❗️Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

SO MANY. probably have thrown away at least 30 or so

🙋🏽‍♀️Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

2 of my friends and my sister

🍦What’s the sweetest fic you’ve created so far?

tbh i’m a pretty angsty gowrl… maybe “insomnia” w niall?

🌶Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what’s your most popular nsfw fic?

i have tried. so. many. times. I cringe whenever I write anything smexy.

🌞Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

i really only write from 12-3 a.m. (ik i need help)... I’m a night owl so it’s perfect.

💖What made you start writing?

i had the idea to start writing for a while, then my sister and I talked about it and I made an account and the rest is history.

💌How do you feel about comments and feedback?

feedback is always appreciated as long as you are nice and kind about it! I’m not the best writer; I can always improve!

❌What’s a trope you will never write?

not really a trope but, degradation in the bedroom… i just don’t understand

💲Would you ever open commissions?

probably not

🧐Do you spend much time researching your stories?

eh not really, about 5-10 min max.

🏆What’s your most popular fic?

Andrew Garfield boyfriend headcanons. (honestly, headcanons/ blurbs are so fun to write)

🎃Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

I currently don’t have any holiday themed ones, but I’m down to write them if they’re requested

📈How many fics do you have?

21 and counting!

🦅Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

normally it starts out with 2-3 sentences of dialogue, then I piece together the background, then add in details and voila.

👀Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

OKAY “done” W ASHY BOY… I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR THIS FIC. I’M DECIDING OR NOT IF I SHOULD CRY HAPPY OR SAD TEARS

🤗What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

personally, I don’t like having a schedule/ specific day to post, but that’s just me. i know most people have a routine, but do what you want! haven’t written in four months? that’s okay! been writing nonstop for two weeks? also wonderful!

write whatever makes you fall in love with writing again! whether it be a super sappy/cringey trop that makes your knees buckle, do it! :)

💞Who’s your comfort character?

Fred Weasley 1,000%.

🤩Who is your favorite character/person to write?

ASHY BOIIIIIIIIIIII. god i love ashton irwin. His demeanor, poise, confidence, ugh I want it all.

🤲🏼Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Little background… poly!lashton w/female reader who’s having a depressive episode:

“Hey. Hey, what’s goin on? Is everything all right?” Ash asked, very worried.

You rolled over to Luke as a response, your face near his hips. You felt his hand in your hair, playing with it. Ashton climbed into bed and started to draw shapes on your back.

“C’mon angel. Talk to us. You’ll feel better.” Luke said as he patted your head.

“You can’t stay up there alone, Y/N. Think out loud.”

so excited to share this one… just can’t figure out the ending

😬Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends or family to stumble upon?

anything poly!5sos. Anything poly in general… i mean it’s not a “traditional” relationship, but a part of me still loves it for some reason

🎉What leads you to consider a fic a success?

def a combination of how proud I am with it, and how much you guys interact with it

✅What’s something that appears in your fics over and over again, even if you don’t mean to?

i always end angsty fics with an “i love you”... whoops

📚Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

maybe as a side hustle!

⌛️How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

3-5 business days. On a serious note, 2-3 weeks. Maybe 2 hours. It really depends on who I’m writing

🤯What’s a genre you struggle with as a writer?

SMUT OH DEAR LORD. I CAN’T WRITE IT TO SAVE MY LIFE. i’m trying it out on some new ones tho!! I never have a problem reading it though

💔Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

not yet, but soon 👀

💥How do you feel about criticism?

again, as long as you are nice and kind about it!!

🤭Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

i don’t have a fav, but I always seem to go with writing? seems appropriate lol

🥰How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

YES!!!! I love interacting w you guys!

[sukifans]

IT’S ALL LATIN TO ME

ZUKO X READER COLLEGE!SMAU

⏎ MASTERLIST // part VI « VII. just friends :) » part VIII

SUMMARY: you’re a premed student at BSSU and you thought it’d be a good idea to take a latin class, but you’re in way over your head here. good thing your buddy sokka knows a classics major in your section you can study with.

WARNINGS: language

She really, really tried not to show how nervous she was. It would be stupid to be nervous, after all — it’s not a date, regardless of what her friends say. Besides, they had hung out alone before, even if only to study Latin. Friends meet up and get dinner and see movies together all the time. Toph and Suki and everyone else were just projecting what they wanted to happen. Surely if Zuko had intended to ask her on a date, he would simply and clearly ask her on a date. Surely.

The car ride to the pizza joint near the theater they’d decided on for dinner was mostly music-filled silence punctuated by some awkward small talk. She hoped he wouldn’t notice how often she had to covertly wipe the sweat off her palms on her pants. He was anxiously tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel as he drove, wishing he could think of something to say to break through the palpable tension. Even as he racked his brains, nothing came up. He let himself zone out to the sound of her soft humming from the passenger seat and stole glances over at her every so often. Maybe by some miracle he’d be a master at the art of conversation by the time they made it to the restaurant. Unlikely, but not entirely impossible.

“You know I have to pay for your ticket now, right?” she said, eyeballing him as he added a tip and signed the receipt for the dinner he’d insisted on covering.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m paying tonight.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m paying tonight.”

“You don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffed. “You don’t need to do that.”

“I want to,” he assured, bumping against her side as they left the restaurant and headed in the direction of the theater. “Besides, princesses don’t pay for anything.” He grinned at the way her nose scrunched.

“You would know,” she quipped. He rolled his eyes to draw attention away from his nervous blush when she linked their arms together and leaned into him.

“Why do they call you that, anyways?”

She pursed her lips and willed the aggressive heat rising to her cheeks to settle down. “They say I’m high maintenance,” she lied.

He frowned. “That’s kind of mean. For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re high maintenance.”

“Thanks, Zu.”

They continued to chat lightheartedly as they walked up to the theater building and, after a bit of arguing and shoving to get to the card reader first at the ticket stand, (Y/N) begrudgingly accepted that Zuko would not be letting her pay that night. She held out hope that maybe she could sneakily buy something from the concession stand before he noticed. As they approached the counter, an employee ringing people up caught her eye. He was familiar, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on why. The feeling kept getting stronger as she and Zuko approached his register.

“Oh, hey, Zuko,” the guy said once she and Zuko were in front of him.

“Hey, Haru.” Ah, Haru! She and him had had a few classes together in the past and sent lecture notes back and forth. “How have you been?”

“The usual, work and school.” Haru shrugged. “You?”

“Pretty much the same,” said Zuko. “Do you know my friend (Y/N)?” Haru looked over to her and gave her a soft smile.

“Actually, yeah. We’ve been in a few lectures together. What’s up? Haven’t seen you this semester.”

“Oh, you know... the usual,” she chuckled nervously. “You and Zuko know each other?”

“We went to high school together,” he said.

“It seems like everyone at BSSU went to high school together,” she said and Haru nodded.

“Most people that went to our school ended up here, honestly. But hey, I don’t wanna keep you guys from your movie. Can I get you something?”

(Y/N) had nearly tackled Zuko in order to pay for their snacks before he could, making Haru laugh. When she met his eyes, she felt warmth flood to her cheeks.

“Thanks, Haru,” she said, looking away quickly.

“Yeah, for sure. Have a good time, guys.” As she started to turn away, he leaned forwards to catch her attention. “It was nice seeing you again, (Y/N); I’ve kinda missed you copying off my notes in class. We should go out for coffee or something sometime.”

Well... that was unexpected. She was so surprised by the request that she didn’t notice the way Zuko stiffened, muscles in his face flexing as he clenched his jaw. Haru did, however, and shot him a confused look that was met with narrowed eyes. Blinking quickly, she recovered and sent him a smile.

“Yeah, that’d be fun,” she said.

“Great!” Haru said. “I’ll talk to you later, then. See you guys around.”

“Have a good shift!” she chirped. Zuko merely grunted and nodded towards Haru in acknowledgement before walking towards the theater with (Y/N). Now she noticed the tension in his posture and nudged him with her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You sure? You’re acting weird now.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.” She frowned and stopped just outside the entrance to the theater. He paused too when he saw she wasn’t following.

“Do you not want to see the movie anymore? We can go home if you want.”

“No, I said I was fine. Let’s go.” He turned to leave and huffed when she didn’t move.

“Zuko,” she said pointedly and he felt his cheeks go pink. If he would’ve just plainly told her this was supposed to be a date, this wouldn’t have happened. It wasn’t her fault he was a jealous idiot.

He sighed. “I promise it’s nothing. It’s just a little jarring seeing people from high school because... well, I wasn’t a very good person back then. I don’t like to remember it.”

Her expression softened. “Sorry, Zu. I didn’t realize.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. You’re right, I was acting weird.” He held his hand out to her and she took it gladly. “C’mon, we have a movie to watch.”

“If it means anything to you,” she whispered as they looked for their seats, “I think you’re a very good person now.” His pulse jumped at her words as she squeezed his hand.

“It means a lot, (Y/N),” he responded, giving her a small smile that she returned.

When they finally left the theater a few hours later, Zuko made sure their clasped hands were in plain sight as (Y/N) waved goodbye to Haru.

A/N: hi guys!! it’s been a while, i know :/ i was going through a big slump and this chapter was giving me a lot of problems for some reason. i’m still not thrilled with it, but i wanted to get something out for y’all! thank you so much for being patient with me as i adjusted to moving back to my college town and starting classes and work again, so many of you were so very lovely and supportive and it made the slump easier to worm out of eventually. and i made a gif! :D anyways!! hope you enjoyed this update and as always feel free to send an ask or reply! for tag requests i prefer asks so i can keep track of them easier without getting lost in my notifs :^) also sorry about no read more cuts, every time i try to add one on desktop it won’t let me edit my draft on mobile to fix the formatting :(

TAGS: @theblueslytherin @beifongsss @coconutsaiyan @5sos-wdw @silverreading @the-lva-way @cupofnctea @khaleesi-of-assassins @bloomkings @pyromaniac-olive @lil-lex1 @kyleewrites @cece-lives-here @coldlilheart @royahllty @astralsaf @damianwaynerocks @darkskin-buttercup @emogril @plutaars @duh-dobrik @harajukukitsune @kangaroobunny @harmlessoffering @rosetheshapeshifter @past-2am @welovediaaxx @dailytrashypanda @thenutellabreadsticks @sara5208 @whalerus @fanworrior @andrevvminyrd @travvestys @rosesandpines @cipheress-to-k-pop @lukessimp @justab-eautifulmess @mochminnie @whoevenfrickenknows @asianequation @booksandwonderlands @dekumiya @mothman-juicy-ass @spooky-titties @394pitterpatterpotter394 @rockinearthbending-marauders @kurt-nightcrawler @sifucuteness @degenerationarmy @songofgratitude

[taleofharrison]

The One | Calum Hood

Summary: Calum tells the story of how you knew you were the one while you talk about your movie and he talks about his fifth album.

Warnings: A flashback with italics and Tom Holland as a guest (he’s mentioned once)

Requested: nope just wanted to write something wher Tom and 5sos are friends.

Word Count: 943

A/N: Just a blurb living in my fantasy world where my comfort celebrities know each other.

MASTERLIST HERE

“From the new movie Runaway and from 5 Seconds of Summer please welcome Y/N Y/L/N and Calum Hood!” James Corden announced.

This would be the first interview without any of your castmates and the first one for Calum without any of his bandmates this time the stars aligned and 5SOS released their fifth studio album and your movie came out almost at the same time meaning his label and your PR team would use your relationship and get as much juice out of it as possible and while you and Calum hated the way your relationship was used for clout or promo sometimes you guys wouldn’t say no to an interview together.

“Y/N your movie is doing great in the box office right now, Calum your band just earned another number one album, and you are also engaged” the crowd cheered with James’ words “you really are the definition of power couple, aren’t you?”

“Well, what can I say?” Calum shrugged “I hit jack pot when I met her.”

He grabbed your hand and kissed it making you giggle.

“Now let’s talk about your movie where you share screen with the one and only Tom Holland care to share about that experience?” James moved on with the interview.

“It was a pleasure working with him he really puts a lot of himself in his craft and I think we both learned a lot from each other since a lot of the scenes were so intense to shoot sometimes. We had each other’s backs all the time” you answered.

“Now was it difficult to find the chemistry?” he inquired again. Calum might have known where this was going to, so he chuckled.

“The moment we met we started hanging out way before shooting our characters only have each other and while they are not the best friends at the beginning, they grow to like each other and form a pretty solid friendship” you spoke not really giving that much away.

“It seems like you formed a pretty strong bond outside silver screen” he said, “so strong that Tom became your fiancé’s new best friend.”

James pulled out a screenshot from under his desk it was from Luke’s Instagram. The photo was of Calum and Tom both clearly wasted and the caption saying I think I’ve been replaced.

The audience laughed with James and Calum while you just face palmed yourself.

“Honestly sometimes it felt like the ones who had to bond for a movie were them not me and Tom” you joked playfully rolling your eyes which earned you a kiss on the cheek from Calum “I was third wheeling most of the time.”

With one last chuckle James moved on to Calum “and about your album how does it feel to come back with your fifth album and still hitting number one?”

“It still feels surreal to be honest” he replied, “the fans are crazy some of them been supporting us for 10 years some for a few months, but they seem to connect a lot with us, and our music and they are so passionate and supporting of us, we’re so grateful.”

“This time you guys released a ballad for a lead single why?”

“It was a bold choice but since the four of us are in strong relationships now and that was a love song, we felt the strongest song was that one and we followed our gut” Calum explained looking at you, clearly you had been his inspiration.

“And may I ask you how you knew she was the one?”

Saying ‘when I met her’ was cliché Calum knew that and there was a more special moment which made him think ‘holy shit she’s the one’ so he went for that one.

Another tour, another late-night flight, and another jet lag. Nothing new in his life it had been his life since he turned 16-17, he doesn’t even remember and while Calum loved the fans and being on stage, he couldn’t lie he was glad he was at home again with Duke and with you.

Your relationship with Calum was just a couple months old when he had to leave for a world tour, and he had been so nervous to ask you to stay at his house every now and then and to take care of Duke you accepted of course you wouldn’t leave his poor dog alone.

When Calum stepped into his bedroom, he saw you sleeping in one of his hoodies with Duke cuddled to your stomach.

“It was in that moment when it hit me and I realized how much effort she put into the long-distance thing and appreciated when she convinced the studio to let her go for a couple to Europe with me” he said, “it was then when I knew that I love her even though our relationship was just a couple months old.”

“And Y/N did you have a moment like that too?” James asked while the public awed at his story.

“Uhm not really” you said “I guess when I managed to get some time off from shutting just so I could visit him was when I realized that I would anything for him. I guess it was sixth sense telling me that I shouldn’t let him go, that I couldn’t let him go and that’s why I was so invested in it and to make it work, I just wasn’t doing it consciously back then.”

“That just sounds like you’re soulmates” James said while you and Calum smiled at each other “we’ll be right back to play spill your guts or fill your guts with Calum Hood and Y/N Y/L/N”

[jaskiers-sweetkiss]

Heartbreak Girl

Pairing: Carrie Wilson x Reader

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: some swearing

A/N: This is my submission for Day 1 - Favorite Song for @jatpx5sos week! It’s also my first Carrie fic which I’m really excited about! I dont have just one favorite 5sos song so I chose Heartbreak Girl because it is an absolute bop. Let me know what you think and send me an ask if you want to be added to my taglist! 

Masterlist

___

You couldn’t exactly say you were surprised when you got the text from your best friend informing you that her boyfriend had just broken up with her. You’d seen the signs: their disagreement after the pep assembly, their interactions at the dance, and the way Nick was suddenly very interested in Julie. You knew it was only a matter of time before they broke it off again.

So no, you weren’t surprised when you got Carrie’s text a couple of days after the dance but you were supportive.

You were in your car minutes later, on your way to the grocery store to pick up Carrie’s favorite ice cream and some chocolate. Not long after you were pulling through the security gate before being pulled through the front door, ready to hold your best friend while you ate cookie dough ice cream straight from the container and marathoned all her favorite movies.

“Thank you for coming,” Carrie sniffled once you were safely tucked into the privacy of her bedroom.

“You know I’d do anything for you Car,” you replied honestly, pulling the ice cream out of the grocery bag and handing her one of the spoons you snagged from the kitchen earlier.

You settled down on the bed next to her, handing her the ice cream while taking the tv remote and beginning to flick through the various streaming services.

“What do you want to watch first?” You asked, looking away from the tv for a moment to look over at her.

You didn’t wait for an answer before turning on Mean Girls. Carrie and Nick had been on-again-off-again for long enough for this to become a routine for the two of you. You always started with Mean Girls, and then moved on to the rest of her comfort movies.

You laid back into the pillows after that, tossing a comforting arm around your friend’s shoulder. You stayed that way for the rest of the night, sharing the cookie dough ice cream and a variety of other snacks and occasionally talking.

It was bittersweet, you thought as Carrie laid curled up to your side as you lounged against her pillows, Clueless playing in the background and empty ice cream container long forgotten. On one hand, you were absolutely livid that Nick had broken Carrie’s heart once again but on the other, you couldn’t help the way your heart warmed when you looked down at the girl beside you and the intense desire to never let her go.

Alright so maybe you had a crush on your best friend, but even if it wouldn’t destroy your friendship you couldn’t tell her. She just got dumped and it would be beyond unfair to dump those feelings on her.

She’d fallen asleep sometime during the third movie and she looked so peaceful, no worries about stupid blond-haired boys in her dreams. You didn’t want to wake her up but you had a curfew to make and you knew she’d be pissed if you left without saying anything.

“Car, I have to go,” You whispered, shaking her lightly as the credits for Clueless rolled in the background.

“Please don’t go,” she pouted, wrapping an arm around you in an attempt to keep you there.

“My parents will kill me,” you said apologetically, pulling her arm away from you but holding onto her hand for a moment longer. “But I’ll be by your side all day at school and I can come over right after.”

Carrie nodded, looking up at you from her pillows as you stood from the bed, her hand still in yours.

“Thanks for being such a good friend,” she said sleepily, squeezing your hand before letting go completely.

You felt your heart drop along with her hand at the words but you shook off the disappointment. Your friendship with her was much more important than whatever feelings you might have.

___

As soon as you arrived at school the next day Carrie was glued to your side. As soon as you stepped onto the pavement of the parking lot she was swooping in, slipping her arm around yours.

“Good morning my bestest friend in the whole world,” she said cheerily, a smile plastered on her face.

You could tell it was all for show, however. You could see right through the exaggerated smile and haughty look, you knew her too well and for too long to fall for the persona she’d created for everyone else at school. She was still hurting and if you couldn’t fill the hole Nick had left in her heart then you’d at least do your best to help mend it.

“How’d you sleep?” You asked, using your free hand to sling your backpack over your shoulder.

Carrie shrugged, “Good I guess.”

You nodded silently as you walked arm-in-arm towards the doors. You noticed her hesitate when you reached the threshold of the building, afraid of what might lie inside the doors, but you didn’t say anything, merely turning to give her a reassuring smile before tilting your chin up and walking confidently through the doors. Carrie mimicked your show of strength, pushing her shoulders back and her chin up as she entered the school, fully embodying the appearance of the Queen Bee she’d made herself out to be.

Nothing seemed out of place as you walked through the halls to your lockers, crowds parted to let you through. From the outside, you and Carrie must’ve looked like the picture of poise and you could tell that was reassuring your friend. The façade wasn’t shattered until you were nearing your first class.

Carrie nearly froze when the two of you turned the corner to see Nick walking in the opposite direction. Rather than show weakness, she quickly shook it off, reaching out to lace her fingers through yours, letting your hands hang between you rather than keeping your elbows linked. You squeezed her hand gently as you steered her through the door of your English class and out of the Nick-infested hallways.

The rest of the day proceeded similarly, Carrie holding onto you either through linked arms or linked hands for support, especially if Nick was in the vicinity. The worst was music, the only class you didn’t sit with each other in since Carrie was a vocal student and you were a pianist. Fortunately, though, Mrs. Harrison decided today would be a good day to assign a duet project and you and Carrie were able to partner up. Before you knew it, the final bell was ringing and Carrie was practically dragging you to the parking lot, desperate to get as far away from the school as possible.

“So I was thinking we start with Legally Blonde, and then Bring It On, followed by Mamma Mia,” Carrie rambled off her movie list as you walked arm-in-arm to your cars.

You laughed slightly but nodded.  

“Sounds good.”

You separated briefly and only to drive your cars to her house. Carrie linked your arms once more when you arrived, marching assuredly up the driveway. There was no falsity in the confidence she embodied in her own home, though she now also wore her vulnerability on her sleeve. You felt lucky that she trusted you enough to let her guards down, you got to see a different side of her than pretty much everyone else. Maybe that’s why you fell for her.

The rest of the afternoon and evening went similarly to yesterday, with the two of you snuggled up to each other talking through the movies. You’d both seen them so many times that you could practically recite them from memory.

You took it a step further when you got to Mamma Mia, you having pulled Carrie off the bed when Dancing Queen started. You danced around her room wildly as you sang through the rest of the songs in the movie until you were laughing too hard to breathe and your limbs felt heavy and you collapsed once more onto the bed.

“I wish I had what they have,” Carrie said mournfully as you watched Sam and Donna and Sophie and Sky celebrate their relationships.

“You’ll find it someday,” you said softly, trying to reassure her while also desperately trying not to picture her with someone else. You weren’t sure your heart could take it at that moment.

Carrie scoffed, rolling over to face you. “I’ll never find someone as good for me as you.”

“W-what?”

Carrie peered at you, a mixture of sadness and hope and something else you couldn’t determine.

“I wish I could find someone who’s as good for me as you are,” she repeated, switching up the phrasing as if that’s what you were struggling with, not the fact that this felt like some kind of confession of forbidden love.

“I- well… why not me?” You stuttered out, a burst of bravery you didn’t know you had in you pushing the words out of your mouth. You figured you never would have said it if you hadn’t been so caught off guard by her words.

“Y/N don’t be stupid, you’re not into girls,” Carrie huffed, starting to roll away from you but your arm shot out to grab hers, halting her movements.

“Caroline Wilson I have been in love with you for like two fucking years!”

“You what?!” She practically screeched, jumping up until she was sitting on her knees on the mattress, pulling you up until you were doing the same. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you had Nick and I couldn’t ruin our friendship,” you shrugged, your words coming out calm despite the pounding of your heart and the butterflies flapping around your stomach.

“I would’ve ditched Nick in a heartbeat if I’d known I could have you,” Carrie confessed and when you looked up she was much closer than you’d remembered. Your lips were mere inches apart,  your noses nearly bumping each other. “Can I?” Carrie breathed out, voice barely audible over the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears.

You’d barely nodded when her lips were on yours, softer than you could’ve ever imagined and tasting slightly of her favorite strawberry lip balm that you’d seen her apply earlier.

“So does that mean you’ll be my girlfriend?” You asked quietly when you finally parted.

“Yes you idiot,” Carrie laughed, her smile the biggest and brightest you’d seen in days and suddenly you were being pulled into another kiss.

Beautiful mood board made by the lovely @bright-molina!!!

___

JATP Taglist: @meangirlsx @morganayennefertyrell @n0wornever

[cyclogenesis]

For the writing ask (you don’t have to answer all of them since I probably picked too many, sorry!): 1, 2, 7, 8, 10, 19, 20, 26, 30, 31, 32, 36, 38, 39, 40. (Thanks 💜)

I did it, I answered all of them!! (Yes, it took me a couple of days aha.) Thanks for asking anon! 😘

1. Which of your fics would you keep the basic plot of but rewrite completely?

Generally speaking I would rather die than rewrite anything ever, and most of the stuff I’ve written I can look back on and be like “nice”. I did recently reread a few bandom fics I wrote and felt mildly horrified by the fact that some of the writing was so spare that the dialogue sections were like reading a screenplay, so I’d have to say those would come the closest. Like I wouldn’t actually ever rewrite them, but were I to write them today they would read very, very differently.

2. Anything that you’d like to write but feel like you’re unable to?

Honestly I read soooo much Hydra Trash Party stuff and would love to vibe with Bucky’s sexual trauma in fic more but I feel like I’d really struggle to write that kind of background given my usual writing style. That’s the kind of super iddy thing I usually do in chatfic, but unfortunately I don’t have anyone to do that with in this fandom, so I’ll just keep whining internally about the lack of HTP Sam/Bucky while doing absolutely nothing to address that glaring lack.

Rest of the answers behind the cut!

7. Your favourite ao3 tag.

I cruise the Bottom Bucky Barnes tag like a 50s kid dragging Main.

8. How slow is a slow burn?

HERE’S THE THING. So if I ship something super hard, like hard enough to write or read fic about it, then I have already interpreted the canon itself as a slow burn because presumably they haven’t kissed yet, and I’m writing or reading fic because I’m ready for the kissing to be happening. I also don’t tend to read a whole lot of long fic. So basically I’m gonna need kissing by at least the 15k mark unless it’s like, masterfully written.

10. Top three favourite fic tropes.

You know, I’m honestly not usually drawn to stuff that’s very traditionally tropey! I don’t write it too often either, usually with fic I’m just a simple gal who wants to look at canon and then figure out a way to get them to acknowledge they want to kiss each other. I do love fake relationships though!

19. Share a snippet from a wip without giving any context for it.

“There’s more than one Loki,” Sam is disturbed to tell him. “A bunch more. One of them is a good guy now.” Actually, Strange had described him as ‘moderately helpful and uncomfortably sincere’. “Another one, uh, broke time, and now there are multiple timelines that have created different universes.”

“Got it,” Bucky says, in the tone of someone who in no way has it.

20. Do you work on a single project or many at the same time? How does that work for you?

I usually have a couple of things going at once that I bounce between until I decide that I’m Going To Finish Something, Dammit and force myself to focus on just one. It’s generally fine because I’d rather have too many ideas than none at all, though I’ll sometimes inadvertently cannibalize myself and have to edit out things I’ve used in two different WIPs.

26. What would you describe as OOC?

I’m honestly pretty forgiving about that, having been trained to suspend my disbelief by liking really dark fic hahaha. One weird thing that tends to throw me in not-dark fic is a lack of humor in the dialogue. I tend to like fandoms with pretty funny characters or people, so I like to see their sense of humor reflected in fic. Sam and Bucky in particular are really funny characters in their own ways - gimme the banter, please!!

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn’t.

In so many fandoms I’ve had visions of an OTP epic spanning years and years, and in zero of those fandoms have I ever completed one of those stories.

31. What was the most difficult fic for you to write (but in the end you made it)?

There is a point where every fic feels like the most difficult thing I’ve ever written. Something particularly cute that I do, which I love, is writing very intensely up to the sex scene, and then getting shy about it and wandering away and not working on it again for a little while, despite the fact that usually the whole point of the fic is that I want to get to the sex scene!!!

32. Do you have a word/expression that you always use in your writing?

I’m sure I have plenty of things like that!! I try to edit repetitive things like that out because when I’m reading a lot of a writer’s stuff little phrasing quirks always stand out to my copyeditor brain. That said, I know when I’m doing it and still tend to huffily be like “well that’s the best way to phrase that action!!” so, whatever.

36. How do you come up with fic titles? What’s the one you’re most proud of?

I either have a title from the jump or I’m combing my music library for a lyric snippet I can use like ten minutes before I post the fic. I’m pretty fond of This Is A Song About Fucking in that I committed SO deeply to jacking myself off there; it’s a phrase that Brendon Urie used to say to introduce Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off during the Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour (I had to look that tour name up. Thank GOD I had to look that tour name up) and I used it for a 5SOS group sex fic posted a cool eight years after that tour (which I went to multiple dates of, oh god) ended.

38. “This never happened” fix-it fics or “this happened but” fix-it fics?

Definitely the latter, when a canon makes a lousy choice I’m usually like well here we are, let’s talk about where we go from here. But I don’t really look for anything with the fix-it tag in general, once the canon breaks something I loved I’m usually so moody that I just abandon ship and stop reading fic haha.

39. Wildest AU scenario you have written?

I verrrry rarely write AUs for posting, but have chatficced some truly bonkers nonsense in my time. My old writing partner in bandom and I used to get weird with Brendon/Ryan - the satyr/fairy and fisherman/selkie days were really something.

40. Write a 9-word fic.

I’m too invested in the thing I’ve written 5k words of these week to think of anything new, so here’s a snippet from that instead.

“Come here,” he chokes out, and the helpless hope on Bucky’s face in response nearly undoes him completely. He sits up to meet Bucky halfway, grabs at his shirt the moment he’s within reach and drags him close, Bucky climbing onto the bed all long limbs and graceless need. The kiss is a surprise only in how rough it is, a hard press of lips like Bucky’s greedy to touch Sam any way he can, like this is just another way for them to collide.

[colorfullfalls]

Me & You

Summary: Calum’s best friend internally pinned after him for years. At a party she finds out that Calum is seeing someone and her heart breaks. Except Harry Styles is there to make her feel better.

Calum and Y/N. A phrase heard so much to the people that knew them. Growing up as neighbors, they were the definition of a team. Y/N was the one who taught Calum how to whistle, he taught her how to ride a bike. Childhood memories engraved in their minds bonded the two together like magnets.

Calum took Y/N with them when they left as a band. She had a rough life at home and he wanted her out of there. Since then the Hood’s and the band became her family.

“Y/N, what are you doing? That is not how to hang up a balloon.” Calum laughed out, pointing to the balloon that was only half taped on.

She blew hair out of her face, her hands falling to rest on her waist. She gave him an exasperated look, “How else do you suppose to do it, Hood? You can’t put a tack in it, it’ll pop!”

Calum playfully pushed her out of the way and tacked the part that was tied off to keep the air from zooming out. He successfully completed the task and gave her a smug grin.

“It’s almost like it worked...”

She shoved his shoulder as she walked past him to stir the Buffalo dip in the crock pot, “Fuck off mate, I really tried my best.”

Calum paused at her words. He knew she was joking and her tone matched, but he did feel sort of bad. When he called her to ask about throwing a surprise party for Ashton’s birthday, she immediately was on board. She bought decorations, the cake, and helped him invite everyone. She really was trying her best.

“You are the most wonderful friend I’ll ever have.” He softly said, turning her to bop her nose before giving her a hug.

Her insides fluttered at the way his voice sounded so honest. She already loved him with all of heart and him saying shit like that didn’t help it. Because she over thought things- well everything. Especially when it came to them and their friendship.

All the other boys in the band had serious girlfriends that they were building their life with. Sure, Cal had girlfriends along the way- much to her dismay, but he wasn’t seeing anyone and hadn’t in about two years or so. Maybe he was holding out for her? She knew it was a outlandish idea but was it really? They grew up together, did everything together, and she developed feelings so was it too wild if he did too?

She relished the feeling of his arms wrapped around her. He smelled so nice all of the time and the scent was uniquely just him. Her trust in people was hesitant due to her parents but Calum was the one true person who she was completely vulnerable to. The boys were close but not to the level of trust she gave to the man in front of her.

He pulled away when he heard the bell ring, “People are arriving, my lovely Y/N. Shall we go greet them?” Calum mocked in a posh accent.

An hour later everyone was finally at the party, well besides Ashton. Y/N saw that Harry Styles was there and she offered him a smile as he walked up next to her. He gave her a warm hug, his hands resting comfortably against her back. His warm skin burned through her shirt and she mentally sighed when he pulled away.

“It’s been a while since we’ve seen eachotha love.” He said, offering his boyish grin that killed his fans.

Her and Harry hung out during the tour when 5sos joined them. While the boys were playing on stage, he would stand and watch with her. During that tour they became pretty good friends, and he did his best to keep up with her. Only a few noticed, but Harry always kept his eye out for her, but it was hard to get her without Calum.

“Last I saw you, you were just about to release Fine Line.” She spoke.

“I remember, ran into you while walking home. Have you listened to any of it?” He asked almost sheepishly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Y/N now just noticed how nicely dressed he was. His black flowy pants went well his nice long sleeve butto up baby blue shirt. The first couple buttons were undone to reveal his beautiful chest. She felt her eyes drift, but quickly looked up at his green eyes.

She wasn’t stupid, Harry was absolutely beautiful. His beauty radiated and his personality amplified that by one thousand. He was mature, deep, and kind but also had a playful boyish side. And sass, lots of sass added to it. He made sure to check up on her weekly and she knew that he would help her with anything she asked.

She’d fall for him if it wasn’t for Calum.

“Harry, who hasn’t heard that whole album in it’s entirety? It’s amazing, man! Cherry melted me in the best way. Putting Camille’s voice in it? Genius. You put your heart into your music and it really shows...” you blushed slightly as you realized that you just gushed over him.

He shrugged his shoulders at your praise in the humble way that only Harry Styles could. His green eyes twinkled in the light at the idea of Y/N adoring his album. Songs that were a part of him.

He wanted to admit that Sunflower, Vol 6. and Golden were about her. That she inspired him to form lyrics that made people feel the same love he felt. She was his muse and she didn’t even know it. Harry wanted to tell her, but he wasn’t blind. Something was between her and Calum.

He respected Calum and didn’t want to interfere, but it was hard when his feelings never went away. And not there she stood so pretty in front of him, telling her that she listened to his music. That she loved Cherry. It was ironic that she mentioned the one about his ex but not the the two written solely about his thoughts surrounding her.

“Means so much to me that you enjoy it. I was actually wondering if you wanted to co-write a song with me for my next album?” He said, his left hand playing with the rings on his right.

Her lips quirked into a pure smile, “Me? Harry..”

“Don’t be bashful, I know you help write with the boys, even if you don’t let the public know.. Ash told me about it when we got drunk a year ago.” He admitted.

She scoffed, “I’m gonna hurt him....”

“So, what do you say? It can literally be about anything. It’ll be perfect. I’ll even buy you dinner over it.”

She paused before replying. Helping Harry with a song sounded fun and like a good opportunity to actually work with other artists, but it was a vulnerable thing. Sure, the two have had deep talks while high or drunk, but this would be a whole different thing. The last song she had worked on was Best Years and she thought of Calum the whole time writing it. That’s why it was so easily to spill out because he was across from her the whole time.

“If I write a song with you, do you promise to make sure I don’t get too drunk tonight? Because I have to go grocery shopping tomorrow and doing that hungover would just suck...” she said, making Harry clap in excitement.

“We have a deal, love.”

He extended his hand and they shook on it.

Y/N glanced over to where Calum was when she saw an unfamiliar woman standing beside him. She didn’t recognize her and honestly she was confused. Calum always told her when he met someone and he never told Y/N about her.

Harry followed her gaze and noticed the woman too, “Who’s that?”

Y/N crossed her arms, “No freaking clue...”

Calum caught their eyes and waved before grabbing her hand and brining her to them. Y/N’s eyes widened at their intertwined fingers, emotional pain twisting around her guts.

“Hey guys, this is my girlfriend, Maya.”He said, raising their joint hands as they both smiled from ear to ear. Y/N wanted to puke.

Maya was wicked beautiful. Her short baby blue hair matched Harry’s button up shirt. The color suddenly seemed unappealing to Y/N. Not only was Maya’s hair cool, but she had a dope septum piercing and had piercings and tattoos. Her beautiful hazel eyes smiled with genuine kindness and Y/N wanted to run away.

Calum was dating someone, but it wasn’t her. Y/N scolded herself for not preparing herself for this exact situation. Calum Hood was a beautiful man with a beautiful heart and wicked talent, of course he would find someone. She had just been dumb enough believe it would’ve been her.

Calum sensed Y/N’s unease and he suddenly felt bad for not giving her a heads up. He started seeing Maya two months ago and wanted to make sure it was solid before he had her meet the people so dear to him. He realized that was a mistake.

“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.” Harry stated what Y/N wanted to but couldn’t.

Calum sheepishly shrugged as he looked at the hurt on his best friend’s face, “Sometimes things are better kept a secret.”

Anger swirled around Y/N like quicksand encapsulating her entire body. She wanted to punch him. Couldn’t he see the pain in her eyes and he had to joke about it and say something stupid like that? How could he be so daft about how she felt for him? He was her world.

She loved him with all of her being; however, at this moment she wanted to never see him again. She wasn’t the best at handling her emotions, so this pain transferred to anger.

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Sometimes friendships aren’t what you think they are. It was nice meeting you, Maya. Come on, Harry.”

She grabbed Harry’s hand and stalked off to the balcony of the house. The British lad followed silently behind her, willing to do anything she needed. As selfish as it was, he was glad to be the one she seemed comfort from.

Crocodile tears slipped out of her eyes as she wiped at them in an embarrassed and frustrated manor. She looked out at the hills of California and grumbled under her breath about love being dumb. Harry quietly shut the sliding glass door and walked over to lean on the railing beside her.

“You’re in love with him.” He softly stated.

She let out a pitiful laugh, “That obvious?”

He didn’t reply for a moment. Instead he took the time to observe her, and his heart stung at the sight in front of him. Her eyes were no longer the vast universe before him that made him believe that life was eternal, instead they were a sunken wasteland filled with sorrow.

Her knuckles were white from how hard she was making fists and her leg was bouncing up and down with anxiety. Harry recalled the one other time he saw her like this. It was when they got a late dinner together and her mom somehow called her.

He hated seeing her upset then and he hates it even more now.

“If you don’t show that you care about someone, you’re not human. Calum is your best friend that has been by your side, it’s natural to catch feelings. And you shouldn’t feel ashamed about it either, hun. Your feelings are valid, it’s understandable to be crushed right now.” His hands gently took hers and flattened them out so that hers would no longer be in fists.

“I’m in love with him.” She choked out, turning to maneuver herself into his embrace. His strong arms wrapped around her back and she clutched tightly to his shirt. She felt the skin of his chest against her cheek as she nuzzled into him.

Sobs shook her body as his left hand rose to lovingly play with her hair. Y/N was glad that Harry was there for her in this time. She knew she couldn’t go to one of the boys because it wasn’t fair to put them in the middle of this.

“I know, I know.” He muttered, glancing inside the house to see that Calum was standing with Luke and Michael. The three boys were starting back at him, all of their faces held regret.

“I-I thought that maybe he loved me too. Every song we wrote, I thought of him. His little gifts and sudden spurs of adventure he whisked me away on, I thought that it was special between us..”

Harry’s heart felt like it got punched. The girl he was head over heels was currently heart broken over his friend. He wanted to tell Calum off for missing out on what he absolutely wished he could have. Calum had his dream girl wrapped around his finger and the dude didn’t even know it.

Harry himself was surprised that Calum wasn’t in love with her too. She was just.. the best. She was adaptive to their life style, good with the fame aspect of their life, she was nerdy in the best ways, so humble and grateful that it was intoxicating to be around her, and she was so genuine. Calum was a fool to not see what was right in front of him. Blind not to see that such a wonderful human being loved him with every fucking inch of her soul.

He saw Calum move towards the door and Harry felt an instinct to get Y/N the hell away from him. He didn’t want her to have to see him and he knew that he couldn’t even look Calum in the eyes without feeling anger even if it wasn’t exactly fair.

Calum hesitated when he saw the death glare that Harry was unknowingly giving him.

Calum knew that Harry was smitten with his best friend. It was apparent that Harry always went out of his way to call her or get drinks when he was home. Hell, Harry had sent her a gift when he went to Japan because he knew it was her favorite place when she went with the band. It was zero surprise that he would feel protective over a crying Y/N.

Calum just wanted to talk to her.

Luke and Michael walked over with somber eyes as they noticed that this situation would not be dealt with tonight.

“Calum, don’t go out there. She’s hurt, man. Give her some time.” Luke gently warned, grabbing his arm.

“I feel so bad. I know she’s hurt but I didn’t think she would be this hurt from me not telling her that I met Maya. I thought maybe she would be a bit happy for me..” he trailed off at Luke’s facial expression.

“She’s fucking in love with you, mate. Why are you the only one who doesn’t see that?” Luke raised his hands in an exasperated manner.

“What?! No? Y/N? She’s not in love with me. It’s not like that.” Calum defended, glancing over at his best friend in the world sobbing in Harry’s arms.

“Seriously Cal?” Michael deadpanned, “You can’t be that stupid.”

Calum rolled his eyes, “Wouldn’t I fucking know if my best friend was in love with me?”

Michael laughed sarcastically as Luke awkwardly shoved his hands in his pockets. Calum sighed at their behavior.

“Apparently not mate. You know how it’s obvious to us that Harry fancies Y/N? Well we could tell when it came to her with you.” Michael explained.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why couldn’t I tell?” Calum asked.

Luke blew air out of his mouth as he tried to think of how to explain it, “Cal, it wasn’t for us to say. God, you and Y/N pick the worst times to be in love with each other.”

Calum’s tongue poked out to wet his lips. He was annoyed that Luke even brought that up. Growing up Calum was enamored by his beautiful Y/N and he knew that he was in love with her when he was about sixteen years old. She was so supportive and always there, and she made the rough times optimistic and fun.

Unluckily for him, at the time he realized they were on tour with one direction and she went off with Harry a lot. Calum felt like he couldn’t compete so he didn’t say anything. Plus he felt sick at the idea of scaring her off. Over time he got over it and moved on because he was sure she didn’t feel the same way.

Now years later she falls in love with him?

“Things would’ve been easier if I would’ve went for it as a teenager... huh?” Cal asked, dumbfounded.

“Probably. Do you... do you still feel the same way? Because you got Y/N out there crying and Maya over there trying to talk to people she doesn’t know.” Luke pointed over to Maya.

Calum couldn’t help but smile over at his girlfriend. He felt so warm and fuzzy around her. She was so fucking cool, and he was proud that she was here with him. But that feeling was dulled down when he looked out on the balcony. Seeing Y/N cry could ruin his happiness at any time.

But it wasn’t because he was in love with her. He used to be, but now he fiercely loved her in a family kind of way. He forced himself to move on from her and the damage was already done. He desperately wished that she would’ve felt the same back in the day because maybe things would’ve worked out. But now he has a girlfriend and she’s out on his balcony crying.

“I’m not in love with her, but I care about her more than probably anyone else.” Calum admitted, “It fucking hurts to see her so upset.”

The door opened up and Ashton walked in, his hand came up to his chest from being startled at how many people were in the apartment. He grinned as Calum walked over and gave him a hug.

“Happy birthday, mate.” He said.

Ashton giggled, “You fucker!” He pulled Calum into a tight hug of appreciation.

Y/N stopped crying when she saw Ashton walk inside. Ashton deserved this party and she wasn’t about to ruin it. He was the type of friend that would do anything for anyone. He was the sun coordinating the planets, making them more efficiently. At the same time he was the moon, luring over loved ones in dark times to offer any sort of help; emotional or physical.

Ashton deserved all the good in this world and she wasn’t about to fuck it up over crying over a man. She thought about all the tik toks joking about gagging after crying over men, and that made her feel a bit better.

Y/N would suck it up for now and go give Ashton a hug because he was worth it.

Harry pulled away slightly when he saw that Ashton arrived too. He glanced down at Y/N and she gave him a small nod and a smile.

Harry once read that your body naturally rejects a potential mate that isn’t a match. Effects are; nervousness, unease, and weariness. Apparently the theory goes that if someone is right for you, being around them gives off a sense of contentment and peace. You don’t have to get overly excited around them to the point that you feel sick. Rather you sense of feeling at home with them.

That’s how Harry felt with Y/N. His past girlfriends he loved-sure. He was heartbroken when things ended with Camille, but he didn’t have that sense of calmness with her. Not like he had around Y/N.

He was utterly fucking stuck on her. She was the one.

He managed to feel this way for years without it ever going away. That had to mean something. His mom once told him that shit happens for a reason. Calum not loving her back like that could shift her to Harry. And as fucked up as that idea was, and how down right cruel it was, he hoped it was true.

“I need to go see Ash..” she paused, glancing up into his green eyes. Right then Harry knew that she was about to ask him to go along with her.

“Let’s go, c’mon love. I’m right here with ya.” He soothingly assured, grabbing her hand.

Together the pair made their way inside to where the party was happening. Y/N noticed that Maya was standing beside Calum, his arm wrapped around her waist. She clutched tightly onto Harry’s hand as a sharp pain zapped her in the chest. His thumb rubbed against her skin in reassurance.

“Y/N’s coming.” Michael whispered to Calum. He immediately dropped his arm from around his waist and shot a look to Maya saying that he would explain at a different time.

He tried to offer a smile to his sad friend but she refused to meet his eyes. Instead she moved to stand by Ashton, causing the groups attention to go to her. No one failed to notice Harry’s hand was gripping Y/N’s.

Harry seemed like a protective guard dog that was on edge when a stranger walked past its owner.

“There you are! I was wondering where the hell you were! Also, I’m gonna kill you, Cal said you did most of the work for this.” Ash teased, making Y/N’s lips quirk into a genuine grin.

“You’re gonna kill me? No buddy, it’s the other way around! You told Harry that I helped write your albums.” She accusingly joked, jabbing the black haired man in front of her on his chest.!

Ashton burst into laughter, “Harry, mate, that was a secret. Cant trust no one..”

Harry smiled in his charming boyish way, his red nails on show as he lifted his hands to shrug as if it was no big deal, “Maybe I wanted a share of her writing talent.”

Michael looked at Luke with wide eyes. Holy shit, Harry just pulled out a wild card. Could the British man not even hide how enamored he was with their friend? Michael admired his confidence to ask Y/N to write with him. Writing was something you had to have complete trust in with a person, and the proccess undoubtedly bonded souls.

Y/N blushed after Harry’s claim that her writing held any sort of talent. She usually went with the flow and the words poured out.

“You gonna do it? Help him write a song?” Luke asked

“She said yes. Unless she was fuckin’ with meh.” Harry said, side eyeing the woman next to him. He saw her laugh and he internally gave himself bonus points for being able to do that while she was so down in the dumps.

“Dinners involved with the deal so I jumped on it.” Her attention turned to Harry, “As long as it’s not Chick-tik-A. Their food sucks and they’re a company against homosexuals.... that’s a no from me dawg.”

Harry smiled, knowing that Y/N was feeling better.

“That’s great, bub. I’m super proud of you. I know the song will be a fucking hit.” Calum said, shifting his head to look at her.

For the first time she raised her eyes and sadly smiled at him, “Thanks Cal...”

****************

Months later and Y/N was truly doing better. Her heart still hurt a bit from Calum but she was gradually getting over it. Seeing him wasn’t to the same point of familiarity as it used to be, but the two friends were working it out as best as they could.

And truth be told, Y/N liked Maya. Maya was honestly a good match for Calum, as annoying as it was.

And Y/N didn’t have time to be upset because Harry had her too busy with constant adventures and late nights. She appreciated it. She appreciated him.

Tonight he took her to the poetry cafe that they liked. It’s small little place at the end of L.A. He said he found it one day when he was walking alone, pretty sad and feeling alone. Stumbled across the joint and found a deep connection to it. He explained how much it meant to him and it soon became important to her too.

The dim glowing lights brought upon a comforting blanket of support and trust to whomever dared to enter such a vulnerable place. Those who stood on the pedestal of expression compiled their feelings into a glorious ballad.

Harry and Y/N sat at the small table in the back, matching style ball caps sat upon their heads. His a pretty purple and hers a yellow. He told her that it would be better if they kept their identies more hidden.

Their chairs were moved to sit closer next to each other so that their hands could intertwine. They held hands a lot because it was comforting and felt so so so right. His thumb rubbed against her hand as another young woman stood up to go.

I was alone

Felt like no one cared

Ate dinner for one and cried tears enough for two

But something changed in my life

Because there was you

Y/N stopped listening as the woman’s words soaked past her skin, muscles, bones, and swirled to embed into her soul. These words were ones that she personally related with. Sure she had friends but she was so lonely when it came to romance. Until recently.

She wasn’t certain what was going on with her and Harry, but she felt herself caring more and more until the point that he became her number one. She talked to him the most, saw him the most, and for fucks sake she thought about him the most.

He seemed to always be on her mind. If she found a cute sweater she would think about how Harry would wear it with his pearl necklace. Saw a dog? Awh, he would love to pet it. Tasted red wine? She’d think about the time that he spilled it on his counter and acted surprised when she licked it off, claiming that it couldn’t go to waste. If she looked at anyone attractive, she couldn’t help compare them to Harry.

It was exciting. Moving on from Calum and to Harry was new and it brought upon a lot of foreign feelings. As great as all that was, there was a worrisome idea lodged in her head. Could Harry just be acting as a good friend like Calum had? She wasn’t sure and she was too much of a wuss to figure it out.

Harry detached his hand to start clapping along with the crowd as the woman said her thank you and walked off the stage. Y/N blinked back to reality as Harry turned to her.

“That was beautiful, really raw and genuine.” He spoke, offering a smile that showed his perfectly arranged white teeth.

“Yeah, it- it really was.” She was doing a horrible job at convincing him that she actually paid attention to it.

“Love, I’m not incompetent , I know you weren’t listening- you’re too caught up in ya head. What’s going in there?” His fingers slotted within hers, his blue nails the same shade as hers. She painted both sets last night when she went over for dinner.

How could a woman look at a man and explain that she was falling in love with him, but she was scared because last time she was in love she got hurt- she thinks she loves him but she doesn’t want him to think he was a rebound.

She felt humiliated, her eyes avoiding his. The open sign on the window was suddenly the most amazing thing to look at.

“Y/N, dear? Talk to me.” His lips were so close to her ear that she could feel his breath when he spoke.

“My heart is in your hands and that’s fucking terrifying to me because, well, we saw how that went last time.” She muttered, still not looking at him but rather the other people there with their significant others.

Harry was suddenly standing up and pulling her out of the small cafe during a poetic interpretation about being bound to your family.

Her heart dropped to her stomach as the wind bit at her soft skin. She fucked up. She really stupendously fucked this good thing that was going on between them. She must’ve misinterpreted his good nature for feelings and was a stupid bitch that fell for it.

He pulled out the outside patio chair and sat her down. She gave him a quizzical look as he moved her legs apart so that he could sit in between them on the concrete.

Reseda green windows to the soul gazed into her, tears pooling around them. His cheeks were puffy and red. He was visibly upset.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I didn’t mean to make you cry like this, I shouldn’t have said anything to you-“ she rambled in desperate need to fix this situation before she lost him completely.

“Shhh. Not the least bit upset, ‘m crying because you’re my soulmate.”

Her eyes widened in shock, a forceful cough ripping out of her throat at his confession. He soothed her, handing her his water to take a sip. She waved his hand away to signal that she was fine.

“Mum told me that Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that's not the one. When you meet your soul mate, you'll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation. First time we shared a conversation i only felt peace and contentment. When I’m not with you, my mindset is off. I don’t like being away from you for long. I worry if you’re okay or I wonder if you are reading a book that’s making you sad. You get so into your books, love. The empathy doesn’t stop when it comes to characters.”

She slightly laughed as she recalled the time he waltzed in on her crying because your character in your book was alone on their birthday. He immediately was making her a cup of tea and bugging her about if something happened with work.

“I’ve been waiting for you for years. Honestly was hopelessly pinning after you. Like everyone knew but you. So when you admit you feel the same way...I got emotional.” He softly said, playing with the rings on his hand.

Her hands itched to be the ones twisting his fingers around. So she did. His hands melted into the skin of hers as he grabbed them. Her thumb twirled his left middle finger’s black band. He blushed at the feeling. She did tend to do this when they were submerged in a deep conversation.

“You’re an emotional man, Har. Endearingly so. I admire it more than you’d think.” She retorted.

Harry sat up so that he was sitting more on his knees so that he was closer. His face closer to hers. She could smell his cologne infiltrate her senses. She wished she could bathe in his sun-like presence forever.

“I happen to admire that you admire me.” He teased, blinking as more tears fell down his godlike sculpted face.

“You’re still crying, you’re gonna make me emotional.” She laughed as tears were starting to build up in her own ducts. This was really intimate and she was getting mushy.

“Can’t help it. Jus’ soft cuz of you.”

Her hands shifted to grab the collar of his coat, pulling it until his lips were melting into hers He hummed is satisfaction, his hands shifting to cup Y/N’s face to bring her closer. It was a desperate kiss, the kind where emotion tries to convey the feelings not able to form into words.

His lips molded to her, trying to memorize the taste for the rest of his days. His nose was shoved against her cheek as he slipped his tongue in, sliding it against hers greedily, finally doing this after dreaming of it for years. She pulled away for air, his lips chasing hers in a drunken daze.

“Let me breathe for a sec.” she gently pushed him away with her palm pressed against his face. He laughed, leaning back.

“Used to think singing on stage was the best feeling, but that was before I got to kiss those sweet lips. Just one more peck?” He made kissy faces in her direction.

“Thank you.”

His face scrunched up in confusion, “what?”

“Thank you for.. being there. Taking care of me like you do. Making me laugh by being dumb. Especially for buying pizza rolls in bulk. I know you don’t like them as much as you let on. But I do and you do it for me. Means a lot.”

“Anything for you, m’love,” He stood up and led out a hand, “Me and you. Please let that be the rest of my life.”

Y/N decided in that moment that Calum Hood getting a girlfriend was the best thing to ever happen to her.

Part 2?

[pluvillion]

wrote this from my notes earlier. thought i'd post it here as well in case some of you guys might relate to it.

-------

i know this question sounds very weird and random, but do you guys care about how long a band has been active in making music? like, does it matter to you if the band is already two decades old and you fear that they'll break up sooner than you think due to the band's age? do you also care about the band members' ages?

this is gonna be a long one... but this is me with Ice Nine Kills; a band i recently just discovered. i'm the type of person that quietly whispers "i wish i was there when the band was just starting out" to himself but in INK's case, the band was formed literally two years before i was even BORN. Ice Nine Kills were formed in 2000 and started making music in 2002, so i genuinely had NO SINGLE CLUE what they were doing when my mom still changing my diapers. to put it into perspective, Spencer was 17 when Ice Nine Kills started making music in 2002, he's now 35 and will turn 36 in November.

now that i look back at the early 2010's, i wonder what what would've happened if i already discovered INK by then (Spencer's in his 20's). i guess being a kid at 5th grade with basic music tastes didn't help - i was only listening to Vocaloid and Vocaloid ALONE right before i discovered 5SOS in around 2013-2014... i wasn't even a fan of metal/metalcore that time because everyone around me claimed the songs as "the songs from the devil" or whatever stigma they kept sharing to others. i myself wasn't fond of it either because i preferred colorful and poppy music.

Welcome to Horrorwood: The Silver Scream 2 will be released next month and i'm excited for it... but somehow i wish i discovered them earlier in, say, 2017 or 2018 when The Silver Scream was newly released. i missed out on A LOT just by that album ALONE. heck, maybe even way back in 2013 when they covered Adele's "Someone Like You" would be nice... at least i can proudly tell others that i've been listening and loving the band for almost a decade like i do with 5SOS.

tho, considering Spencer's the only founding member left (most members from the 2000's are gone and only a few from 2010's stayed) and how they recently just joined Fearless Records, i'll make myself believe that the band just started having a steady uphill pace in the early 2010's (which is actually the case) and their name is just starting to be known by everyone. at least that's enough to diminish the fact that i'm as old as the band.

i'll encouter this same phase again with a new band that i'll discover, that's for sure; but honestly, all that matters here is that i love their music and i'll keep supporting them. the fear of them breaking up WILL be there, that's unavoidable, but as long as nothing terrible happens, i'm pretty sure the band will stay as is. if they're still active and is teasing/releasing new music/content, there's nothing to worry about. also, Spencer's almost in his 40's (good lord), but i'll be 23 years old and out of college before that happens and it'll already be 2025. who knows what'll happen before then? i hope Spencer still keeps Ice Nine Kills in his 40's tho 😂

hey, maybe someone out there is making the same note as i do but they're saying how they wish they discovered 5SOS earlier instead of discovering them just last year.

(i'm using this reasoning to prevent myself from sulking terribly because i didn't discover a band or an artist earlier haha). maybe someone in the NEAR FUTURE would write another similar note regarding a now-disbanded 5SOS from the year 2060's instead. who knows?

y'know, with what i said above, sometimes i wish i was born earlier. i can (or maybe can't) only imagine what's happening today if i was already, say, 24 years old or so.

anyways, i thought i'd vent with this note because it's been boggling my mind since this morning. i know i'm thinking about this too much but i just wanted to let this all out instead of letting this shitass of a brain ruin my mood day by day. i keep thinking about time a lot, don't i?

i don't even know why this thought popped up in my head in the first place. is it because most band members of the bands i love right now are in their 30's? is it because Spencer's almost in his 40's? i legitimately have no idea. the thought just popped up in my mind last night as i was watching the lyrics video for "Enjoy Your Slay" and it stayed there bugging me until now as i write this.

one thing's for sure tho, i'm very VERY thankful YouTube recommended me their MV for "SAVAGES" back at June (they somehow got the memo for my love of horror, blood, and gore). i now love Ice Nine Kills and i will keep listening to them even it's already 2030. yeah, i wish i discovered them sooner but hey, i'm here now! can't wait for Welcome to Horrorwood: The Silver Scream 2! i'm pretty sure they'll continue making those short movies to pick up where The Silver Scream 1 left off (which will span for over a year or two or even more i bet).

edit (08/09/21; 6:35 pm): i just looked it up and i learned that Dustin Bates from STARSET (the band that i love so much because they talk about astronomy and science in their songs) is only a year younger than Spencer Charnas from INK, so i guess this completely nullifies whatever the fuck i wrote in the paragraphs above but hey at least my brain has calmed down from that certain thought now. i can finally sleep in peace. four to five years is still a lengthy way to go and i hate myself for not thinking that earlier 😂

[karajaynetoday]

forever and always | calum hood

I couldn’t find the original credit for this gif but possibly here? It’s a deactivated blog though if anyone has the proper credit please let me know!

I don’t know how or why, but I woke up this morning thinking about this concept and I had to get it written to make my peace with it, in a way. Shout out to @spicycal for reading through the draft for me, and sending love to anyone this resonates with. It’s a very emo Calum one-shot that includes pregnancy loss (if that’s not something you can read, feel free to give this one a miss), but I promise it has a happy ending. 

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy and pregnancy loss/stillbirth, and references to COVID-19 (the pandemic circumstances i.e. quarantine, not actually having the illness)

(This is a fem reader insert)

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Calum ducked his head down to meet your gaze, brown eyes swimming with concern.

You were sat together on the couch in Ashton’s living room, surrounded by a lighting set up, having a quiet moment while Andy and Ryan were setting up their cameras in front of you. 5SOS were preparing to release their next album, and to reflect on the past ten years’ of the band, they had decided to film a documentary alongside the album process. After much deliberation, KayKay, Sierra and Crystal had agreed to take part, because they were just as much a part of the band’s journey as the boys’ families were, and their support and influence on the music was obvious. For you, though, it was a little different. You and Calum had successfully hidden your relationship from the public eye for the last four years. It was some sort of miracle, honestly, especially given the last little while where you’d gotten careless and slipped up by holding hands and showing affection in public. If any fans or paps noticed, they never said anything, and it gave you and Calum a sense of relief that no one knew your name or true identity when you were spotted with him or the rest of the band family in public.

Relief, but you had to admit that it hurt a little too. You’d seen the hate and vitriol that the other guys’ partners had experienced, and you knew Calum was just trying to protect you from all of that, but every time someone made a joke about him being the only single one in interviews, or asked him what he looked for in a girl, or the fans ran away with relationship rumours whenever he was photographed within breathing distance of a potential love interest,  it made your chest feel tight. At the end of the day, though, Calum always came home to you, and that was what truly mattered.

To say that this was a big moment, publicly announcing your relationship with Calum, and revealing that you’d kept it hidden for years, was an understatement. But you knew it was important to both of you to finally share it with the world. Not just because you loved each other and wanted to show it, but because the events of the past year had broken and rebuilt you all over again. As individuals, as a couple, and even for the band as a whole. You knew that the hope you’d held, and the pain that tore you down, and the healing you’d been through came across in Calum’s contributions to the new album, so it felt right to sit down and use your own voice to convey your feelings about it all.

You broke out of your deep train of thought to nod in response to Calum’s question, and press a quick but reassuring kiss to his lips.

“I’m sure if you’re sure.” You whispered, as Calum threw his arm around your shoulders and squeezed to let you know he was in support of whatever you wanted to do.

“Okay guys, we’re ready if you’re all good to go?” Ryan spoke up from behind the camera, trying not to unsettle you two and the moment you were clearly having. A deep breath and a brief smile from you and Calum let Ryan know he could start recording, and Andy sat down out of frame and pulled his notebook of questions into his lap.

“So, shall we start from the beginning?”

Your heart swelled, as you began to remember.

--

Ashton had full on wingman-ed Calum when you first met them both at a bar downtown. He was dating KayKay at the time, so he’d made it his mission to find Cal a hot date, or a lover, or a lifelong companion (“Any of the above will do, as long as you’re not a shit person”, he’d told you as he tried to pitch Calum to you). The pitch had worked, and you’d joined them for a few drinks and rounds of pool, before exchanging numbers with Calum at the end of the night.

From there, it was coffee dates, and brunches, and then dinners and nights out on the town. Soon it became days or nights at each other’s houses, which became entire weekends, then it was trips away or secret visits to see Calum on tour, and before you knew it, you’d been dating for the better part of the last two years and Cal asked you to move in with him. He knew it was a sacrifice on your part, not only dating someone who was away for months at a time, let alone someone whose hand you couldn’t hold out in public for risk of being photographed, but you also knew that you and Calum loved each other more deeply than you’d ever loved before. You understood he’d be burned in the past with public or semi-public relationships, and seeing his band brothers go through them made him hesitant at best. By moving in together, you’d see each other more, and you’d also get to shower each other with the love and desire that was building more and more within your soul with every passing day.

--

“So that’s the story of how we met. Mate, honestly, I was head over heels from day one.” Calum laughed, kissing your forehead quickly.

“I’ve had the privilege of observing you two and your love for one another for a few years now, and I have to say it’s a beautiful thing. You just seem to know each other inside out, and I love that soulmate aspect of your relationship.” Andy mused, flashing you a warm smile.

“Now, in terms of influence on this upcoming album, I know the past 18 months have been a rollercoaster for us all, but you two especially have been through a lot. Do you feel comfortable talking us through that a little bit?” Andy was careful with his words, not wanting to upset you or make you uncomfortable.

You squeezed Calum’s knee, before swallowing thickly and thinking back to the time period Andy had mentioned.

--

When 2020 began, you held so much hope and excitement for the year ahead. Watching Calum and his brothers play the Firefight Australia concert was incredible, and you were so thrilled for them to be releasing their latest album that truly felt representative of the four individuals who had come together to craft it. But then the pandemic began, and you were ordered into quarantine. Each day felt heavier somehow, with more sad stories on the news, and more frustration building up amongst your loved ones. It broke your heart to see Calum and the boys not able to release the album in the way they’d originally hoped, but Cal himself was both an optimist and a realist, and constantly reiterated that it felt like the right time to release it anyway, because maybe it would bring a bit of joy and serenity to people that needed that in their lives amongst all the chaos.

You’d quickly fallen into the routine of home isolation, waking early to get your work hours done, so you could spend your afternoons with Calum and Duke by the pool, or hiking a nearby trail, or bingeing Netflix on the couch. It was strange to have so much time together, but it was also so warm and comforting that it didn’t take you long to get anxious at the idea of Calum ever leaving again for tour or promo. That was a while away, though, so you tried your best to make the most of the time you had, and take it one day at a time.

You couldn’t remember the first day you woke up feeling nauseous. Sometime in June, you supposed. A few days of vomiting and fatigue that made you feel like you’d been hit by a bus, and you had a telehealth appointment with your doctor to try and figure out what was going on. Given your symptoms, they’d asked you in for tests right away. A week or so later, you were back sitting in the doctor’s office awaiting the results, extra nervous because the COVID-19 restrictions meant that Calum couldn’t come in with you. You’d thought about FaceTiming him into the appointment, but there was something in the back of your mind telling you that you wanted to have a moment to yourself to process the news, whatever it was going to be.

When your doctor looked at you with a smile and told you that you were pregnant, all you could do was gape back at her in shock. It shouldn’t have come entirely as a surprise; you and Calum had spoken a few times about the vision you had for your future, and the uncertainty and restlessness that quarantine had given you made foregoing protection seem right, somehow (lovesick logic, or something like that). But it happening so quickly was unexpected. Your shock was soon replaced with tears of happiness, and you were already bursting at the seams to get home and tell Calum the news.

He was speechless at first, too, but then again Calum always was a man of few words. You’d kept it to yourselves for a little while, only discussing it in quiet whispers, or soft touches onto your non-existent bump, or sending links of cute baby things to one another via WhatsApp message. A few weeks later, you had your first scan, and this time Calum was allowed in the room. You could see his eyes light up when he heard the strong heartbeat on the monitor, and later he’d tell you how he immediately wanted to voicenote it on his phone to listen to while he was away on tour, or even mix it into a song.

Seeing that tiny blob on the screen and hearing the heartbeat honestly made your entire year, and from then on you couldn’t resist sharing your happiness with others. Video calls with yours and Calum’s parents, more happy tears and cheering from the soon-to-be first time grandparents.

The restrictions in California had eased a little, so you invited Ashton, Luke, Michael and their respective partners over for dinner one night. You’d prepared some cute greeting cards, one for each couple, thanking them for all of their support over the years with helping to protect your privacy with Calum, and slipped a copy of the baby scan with “see you in February” written on the back inside the card. Once everyone was settled onto the couches in the living room, waiting for dinner to be ready, you handed them out and sat down in Calum’s lap, taking a sip of your drink to try and hide the excitement on your face.

It was so amusing to observe the reactions that were representative of each couple. Michael and Crystal gasped and cheered, immediately pulling you and Calum into tight hugs. Ashton and KayKay were more reserved, but whispers of love and encouragement and happiness into your ears were so lovely and cherished. The tears in Sierra’s eyes, and the comfort of Luke’s squeeze of his arms around your waist said more than they could ever put into words.

The emotional celebrations soon turned into teasing jibes, and Ashton’s pitch for a new line of 5SOS baby merch. (“Come on guys, a baby-sized bucket hat? Tiny hoodies? Wildflower plush toys? A lullabies album? I’m telling you, there’s a whole WORLD of opportunity for us opening up right now!”), and you couldn’t help but feel both overjoyed and overwhelmed at how much this little baby was going to be surrounded with love and support for every day of their life.

The months carried on, and your once invisible baby bump grew and grew. You and Calum cleared out a spare room for the nursery, and got lost in furniture shopping and paint swatches and reading every parenting book you could get your hands on. There were doctors appointments, and birthing classes; lists of potential baby names on the fridge, and consulting your dog trainer on how best to introduce old man Duke to the idea of a new arrival.

As December approached, and you started getting into the festive spirit, Calum began returning to the studio as he and the guys toyed with some potential new directions for the next album. All of them had studios built into their homes, so they could meet and work together in relative safety, which was reassuring. You were standing over the kitchen sink one day, rinsing out the pan you’d used to make eggs for breakfast, when a searing pain in your abdomen had you groaning in discomfort and gripping onto the kitchen counter for dear life. The pain eased momentarily, and then came back stronger, and you managed to grab your phone from the counter and dial Calum’s number frantically as you gasped for breath.

The next few hours were a blur; Calum raced home to find you curled up in pain on the kitchen floor, Ashton and the paramedics were quick to follow him inside. They put you in an ambulance and took you straight to the hospital; you and Calum were gripping each other’s hand so tightly that your knuckles were white with stress.

The doctors determined you were in pre-term labour, and soon enough you were in a delivery room panting and pushing and crying out to Calum for comfort. It was all so terrifying and overwhelming but he was doing his best to ground you, brushing his fingers through your hair and holding your hand and whispering sweet nothings into your ear. When you finally delivered the baby, a hush fell over the room, and you could tell from the look on the faces of your doctor and nurses that something wasn’t right. 

The silence continued, and your heart broke when you realised that the baby hadn’t started to cry like you’d expected. The nurses had moved the infant over to another station, suctioning their airway and connecting them up to all manner of tubes and wires, but after a few moments your doctor told you the news. It was a baby girl, but her heartbeat wasn’t there. She’d come into the world and gone out again, just like that.

--

“I know a lot of people struggle to talk about stillbirths, and losing children, and it’s such a deeply personal thing so I get it. But it’s also grief, and loss, and emotions that you feel whenever you lose anyone you love. If there’s one thing I wish we could do more, as people in general, it’s discuss how we feel, and normalise having emotions, because it brings you closer and makes you feel less alone.” You spoke softly, blinking away the tears that had started to well in your eyes.

Andy nodded gently at you, before a quiet “Cal?” with an encouraging flick of his head.

Calum cleared his throat and glanced over at you before speaking. 

“I think that’s a huge part of why we wanted to be here today and talk about not only our relationship but losing Matilda in particular. It’s a sensitive topic, I know, especially for men, but holding back and bottling up your emotions isn’t good for anyone. Without her support in getting me to open up, or having the boys to listen to me cry and help me get some of my feelings out, in words and on this album, I don’t think I’d be in as good a place as I am now. It’s dark to think about, but important not to ignore, I think.”

“You’re so right, Cal. And Matilda is always going to be a part of our story, and we’re never going to forget how much we loved her and how much closer together she brought us,” You began, pausing briefly to squeeze Calum’s hand that had settled on your swollen stomach, “And when our little rainbow baby arrives in the next few weeks, I can’t wait to tell them about their sister, and how much she would’ve loved to meet them, but now she’s watching over them instead.”

“Exactly. We’re always going to have had Matilda, and then this little one, and however many others we decide to try and bring into the world. But it’s the love that builds you and the loss that breaks you that makes us who we are. Forever and always.” Calum’s voice was emotional, but also firm and calm, as he looked down at you and kissed you intently, his hand never leaving its spot on your bump, where your little rainbow baby was kickly softly at the sound of his voice.

“Forever and always.” You agreed, inhaling deeply and feeling a sense of deep peace and content wash over you.

More writing here | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here | if you’d like to be on my taglist go here

Taglist: @suchalonelysunflower​ @blackbutterfliescal​ @redrattlers​ @loveroflrh​ @spicycal​ @notinthesameguey​ @metalandboybands​ @cheekysos​   @ashton-trash

[in-superbloom]

8 songs, 8 rules (or something)

RULES: 8 song prompts & tag 8 people

hai hai so @bandsanitizer tagged me to do this lil fun game so here we are <3 alison i can't explain how much i love opportunities to talk about my music so pls just feel the soul crushing hug i'm sending you right now 💜

also i'm completely incapable of choosing only one thing for anything ever – let alone music, so enjoy this catalogue of all over the place songs with a lot of unsolicited commentary <3 also all links are from spotify because i don't support iphone supremacy <3

anna from the future came to say: this got way too long, so i'll put it under the cut & i'm sorry in advance if you're reading this and pls know you don't have to read it at all, i won't blame you 👁👄👁

1. favorite song at the moment.

oh man. gotta say starting line by our resident sad boi hemmo ofc. it hasn't left my head since i first listened to it & i'm honestly still digesting it 🥺 but also ! can't not mention my main men <3 wrecked by imagine dragons also just came out and already managed to give me way too many breakdowns which is completely uncalled for but i can't complain 💜

2. a song you associate with your favorite ship.

which one 👁👄👁 i have so many favorite ships that i just stopped keeping track of them lmao but like, i don't really know? i used to associate songs with ships a LOT when i was younger but it's been a while since i did it. so let me check.

oh boy okay, alison mentioned glee which reminded me of klaine and the amount of love i have for these stupid lil gay men. the song that immediately stands out for me is teenage dream (acoustic) which yes it's the katy perry song but like. big big sad. i literally can't listen to it without wanting to cry. if you know the context, you know. and if you do, i'm sorry </3 this is not my absolute favorite ship ever but it's the one i relate with music the most, so let's leave it there or else this will get way too long lmao but also ! all you need is love 💖

3. a song that could be about you.

ehhh i have a whole playlist of these. like. over 100 songs. so let me pick 😌 okay there's too many so let me list them or else i'll end up talking too much about each one:

hear me - imagine dragons (13-years-old me cried over this on a weekly basis no joke) // clean - taylor swift (no link bc we're waiting for the taylor's version) // my kind - alessia cara // body - julia michaels // matter of time (interlude) - ashton irwin // memórias - pitty bc this woman singlehandedly built half of my personality so i gotta mention her <3

4. a song that you think is underrated.

look i might make a whole playlist for this someday, but for now i'll list artists that i think are underrated with my current favorite song from them:

honest - mali-koa // bardot - raffaella // i like myself (most of the time) - k.flay // get high - herizen // breaking my bones - friday pilots club

and honestly? my man ashton irwin does not get enough credit for the masterpiece that is superbloom and i'll never shut up about it <3 i know 5sos is not really underrated but i think we all know how things would play out if/when all the boys release a solo album, and we're getting a taste of that now, so yeah. gotta praise my main man <3

5. a song that reminds you of a good memory.

very unsurprisingly there isn't many for this category bc unfortunately my brain mainly associates songs with bad moments in my life 🥴 however, i will say more than words by extreme bc it reminds me of my babe/soulmate/love of my life @bluesdelis and of the best month of my life hands down. not much context for this one bc it's too damn special and personal but it's our song™ so yeah <3 (but i also almost put the glee version <3 love you tho 😌🖤)

6. the last song you listened to.

brutal - olivia rodrigo, shocking i know 😌 it was playing from my disco cowgirl playlist while i showered <3

7. a song that makes you laugh.

at this point almost anything from glee, especially if it's from season 4-5 lmao (why glee won't leave my head, alison this is your fault) but i already talked about them so let's go with don't phunk with my heart by the black eyed peas bc this song is absolutely ridiculous & i love it 💖

8. A song you want your mutuals to listen to.

all of the songs mentioned above <3 😌 but let me leave one from my new favorite band (thank you kaykay): hush - the marías ❤ so in love with this album 🥺

tagging: @bluesdelis @suchalonelysunflower @wastelandcth @ijustdontlikepeople @mulletcal @littledrummerangie @aintmyjewelry @talkfastromance4 💜 (i have no idea at all of who already did this so i'm sorry if you have !! but if you haven't, no pressure at all !! <3 and if you see this & wanna do it then i'm tagging you 😌 pls do it & tag me bc i love to take a peak at people's personality through their music <3)

also if you've read all of this? i love the shit out of you 💜 and i'm sending you the warmest hug and a tender forehead kiss 😚💓 here have a candy too 🍬

[boba-beom]

Hi~! No need to apologise! I'm always happy for your replies. 🥰 I totally agree regarding the aesthetically pleasing movies! Also, it's actually the other way round for me; I haven't watched the Shadowhunters series, I've only watched the movie. I rarely watch Western shows these days, I feel like I can't commit myself to multiple seasons. 😅 I'm glad you enjoyed the series though. If you look at it this way, the fandom was lucky enough to choose from a movie or a series to watch.

Oh my gosh, what a coincidence! I had such music phases in my life, too! I've had my boyband phase with One Direction, Union J, JLS, Big Time Rush, The Vamps and 5SOS, then I've had my more emo phase with All Time Low, Imagine Dragons, the Arctic Monkeys, The 1975. I still listen to some of them though. Maybe kpop fans all started there. 😅 I got into kpop in 2015, I guess? It was through kdramas, the first band I listened to was Infinite because of L's acting. Then came EXO, VIXX, GOT7 and BTS.

With BTS, I started stanning them because of Dope, but I fell hard when I heard Let Me Know. I was so floored that the band with such title tracks has a song like this. 😭 The most beautiful moment in life era was my favourite, they were my ult group at that time. *-* Oh, it's totally okay! I stayed in Nottingham, I studied at NTU during the 2020 fall semester. They were one of the few UK partner unis I could apply to with the Erasmus+ scheme, and it's been my dream to stay in the UK longer

Sadly, it was cut short due to the delta variant. I couldn't go back in January, but the uni managed it well, so it was okay. Plus, while I was there, I could actually get my hands on The Vamps' new album, so even though there was no concert, I could get my first The Vamps album in the UK, so that was pretty cool. I've also seen some pretty cities before lockdown happened, so I've gotten the most out of it. *-* Where in UK are you from (if that's okay with you to share)? What's your fav UK city?

The Day6 concert was awesome! I sang so much that I could barely speak the next day haha. You were beautiful is indeed a beautiful song, I cried when the MV first came out. 🥺 Oh, les misérables, that must have been spectacular! I actually went to a Christmas market yesterday. I finally felt like I could get myself into the Christmas spirit. I hope you'll enjoy the market with your friends! 🥰 Your new year's eve sounds lovely! It's only me and my sisters who stay up late, my parents can't. 😅

Do you have any wishes or aspirations for next year? It doesn't have to be anything huge, just something that you're hoping for. Obviously, I hope covid will go away, but also, I'll try my best to stress less next year or do more self-care. *-* Anyways, I've seen your blog is 1-year-old! Congratulations, and also congrats for 800+ followers! 🎉🎉🎉 And don't worry, I talk so much, too, but it's because it's so nice talking to you. 🥰 Hope you have a lovely week ahead of you! Take care! ❤️ - ❄️

hi hi secret moa~

i agree with you on that, it's not all the time a fandom receives both a series and a movie so yes, we were lucky and spoiled for that hahah. i'm honestly fascinated by the fact that our music tastes were so similar before and when we got into kpop! listening to the 1975 always made me feel ✨things✨ and i'll do it again! and now there's chase atlantic with similar vibes and i'm not mad about it ^^ BUT OMG VIXX, I LOVED ERROR >< i would play it on the speakers from my ipod 1st gen HAHAH and my sister would literally hate me for blasting it aloud, but she ended up listening to kpop with me around that time too ✋😌

let me know was also one of my favourites!! honestly, i just loved all of their early songs, even though i wasn't really stanning them yet, but i like it and i like it pt 2 were always on repeat, i kid you not!! 🥺 omggg at Nottingham?! I'm just an hour away up north from there! how was the experience?? i'm happy you enjoyed staying in the uk even for a short while! i've just been wanting to leave and i was planning on going to san diego for a placement / internship but of course with covid in the way i wasn't able to do that, so i might go after i graduate just for some experience ^^ but i've always loved Manchester!! I was wanting to go there for university but I felt like the city was a bit too much for me to stay so I resorted to Sheffield which is the halfway point between where I live and Manchester~

regardless, i'm so glad you managed to get your hands on the vamps album!! my 13 yr old self is quaking rn 😭😭 i had a phat crush on bradly but then it was bradley, then connor then james after watching their cover of miley cyrus' we can't stop aaaaaaa <<< evidence they still have that little place in my heart, but i haven't listened to any of their new songs since i listened kpop AHAH but you're so lucky to have gone to day6's concert!! i wanna experience that one day, just to sing without having a care whether i have a voice the next day or not omg

i went to the christmas market too a couple of days ago with my friends, and there was this swing ride that only a few of us went on. ngl i haven't been on a ride since late summer and the last ride was the claw 😭 it was truly something because i felt like screaming but i didn't want to at the same time AHAH we had the cheesy sausage and shared some giant churros ^^ and i mean— the parents usually drink to their heart's content and use the karaoke machine, but me and my friends usually just chill in their rooms and talk about anything and everything! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NEXT FRIDAY:'D

I think my wishes are just for the safety and health of my friends and family, along with university going well! self care sounds good, and definitely, the first step to self care is to stress less hehe~ AAA AND THANK YOU! i'm so glad I managed to keep this blog for a year despite all the shenanigans going on irl, but truly, thank you!! I'm just so excited to know who you are in just a few days, and that we can stay in touch here and interact more hehe i'm intrigued to read your works too! talking to you takes me so long to type but i love it HAHAH I hope you have a wonderful week ahead of you<33 sending hugs ^^

[taleofharrison]

Bass Lines | Calum Hood

Summary: Calum meets reader at a festival and bond over music.

Warnings: none really I think.

Requested: Yes by an anon.

Word Count: 1251 (which is crazy I thought it was shorter)

A/N: This one I wrote it in the second person like the fics I’m used to reading I’m kind of experimenting with different ways of telling stories so I can find with what I’m most comfortable with and because I use fanfic writing as my way of practicing English so enjoy and tell me what you think also I don’t play bass so idk if this is what you had in mind so I hope you like it.

MASTERLIST HERE

It was a small festival just a little something, nothing compared to Coachella or something like that but it still was a festival. They wanted to do something a little bit smaller than the stadiums and sold out venues they were so used to.

As they tuned their instruments Calum allowed himself to start playing and mess around a little bit with his bass plating some riffs not only written by him but from another of their favorites riffs by other bands.

"I recognize that riff!" you said making presence behind him known, "I wrote it"

"Yeah I just was messing around before our presentation" Calum lifted his look from his bass to look at you. He had seen you before, he had been following your band on youtube for a while though in person you looked different prettier is the word he'd use "I've been a fan of your band for a while"

"Really? I never thought the Calum Hood from 5 seconds of summer would be fan our little local band" you teased. Calum could've sworn there was a flirty tone in it.

"Well you have good songs and covers and I think you did a 5sos one, am I right?"

"Yeah we did Moving Along" you answered smiling.

"Sure uhm...Is this your first festival or...?" Calum wanted to talk to you he didn't know what else to talk to you besides music or your band.

"Yeah it is!" you said with a smile "The first time we are performing away from our hometown it's really a big deal for us and we are so excited!"

"Well I wish the best of lucks" he smiled at you. Ashton, Luke, and Michael were sharing amused looks they thought it was funny the way Calum tried to flirt with you "But I don't think you really need it anyways. Your band is great"

You turned your face with a flustered look in your eyes avoiding his gaze "I'm Calum by the way"

"Yeah I know," you said "I'd say you're pretty famous"

"But this is the first time we see each other in person" he pointed.

"Well you might have a point" you smiled "I'm Y/N"

"Y/N! Come here it's almost our turn!" the lead vocalist from your band called you.

"I have to go - uhm - nice to meet you Calum"

Once you weren't in sight Calum turned to face his best friends who were smiling and ready to make fun of him. He just knew it he saw it in their playful smiles.

"For a moment I thought you were ready to ask her to marry you" Luke started followed by Ashton's giggles

"You had heart eyes the whole time you were talking to her!" Michael exclaimed earning an eye roll from Calum.

"Honestly mate you should ask her out or at least for her number" Ashton suggested.

Calum just left the backstage to see your band's performance and maybe take a small video to post on Instagram and give you a boost.

calumhood- been following these girls for a while go check them out  @NewLight

As you guys left the stage you saw Calum on the side of the stage.

"So what do you think?" you asked putting your bass down next to you.

"Uhm it was pretty good for a small local band" he teased. He had been flirting with you since the moment he saw you so why not make the first move yourself?

"Maybe you can give some rockstar advice someday?" you offered

"Uh - yeah just give me your number" 

Around a week later you were outside of a small coffee shop in California. Calum had asked you to meet him there for a small first date. When you entered you spotted him and the back of the shop a black bucket hat on his head.

"I thought you weren't going to show up" he said once you took a seat next to him.

"Sorry, I lost the track of time I was rehearsing" you explained, "I wouldn't miss the chance of talking to one of my favorite bassists, would I?"

"Am I one of your favorite bassists?" he smirked. You said that out loud without noticing.

"Yeah I mean..." A flustered look took over your face. One thing Calum thought was adorable "My friends and I were 5sos fans and you inspired us to actually go for this dream...our band before we found your music was just a hobby"

He nodded "Well I'm flattered. I'm glad we could inspire you guys somehow you have great covers and your few original songs are great too"

"Thank you" you smiled at his compliments "and thank you for that Instagram post a record label is actually interested in us and we are going to meet them in two days so..."

"No need to thank me" he shrugged "after all my band has a similar story"

You smiled at that "So how long have you been playing the bass?"

"Uhm since I was little...like 8 or 9 years old" you answered "My mom wanted me to play classical music and got me into piano lessons but I never really liked it and when my dad bought me my first bass for my birthday it was the moment I knew that was my thing"

You didn't notice the time until the small place was empty with only the two of you and the barista behind the counter.

"Do you want to continue this date at my house?" he asked "We can fangirl about each other a little more"

"Yeah, I'd like that"

The ride to his house was full of music and exchange of opinions in music, you had a lot in common and you were really enjoying his company you hadn't felt this way about a guy in a while you only hoped this would lead to a second date any time soon.

"Alright so you can use this bass" he gave you a black bass "I'm going to show you what I've been working on"

"Am I getting a 5sos sneak peek before anybody else?" he shook his head smiling and getting ready to show you the riff the had thought of.

"So what do you think?" he asked looking up to see your face.

"I think you can make it faster, I think it would sound better" you took the bass and started playing the exact same riff but faster surprising Calum.

"You just listened to the riff once and now you have it learned?"

"Yeah" you giggled "my mom she didn't want me to take bass lessons really keen on me being the best pianist in the whole world. I had to learn some riffs myself until my dad convinced her and I finally could take bass lessons"

After some advice exchange and rewrites in songs and ideas. Calum realized he was in love or at least that he was falling for you something that he thought was crazy and stupid given the fact this was your first date and hadn't met personally until a week before this. 

"Wow you're amazing" he gasped "maybe you can help with some of the ideas I have for the next album and I can help you too"

"That'd be great but I really have to go back home it's getting late" you excused yourself looking at the clock on the wall "maybe next week?"

"Next week it is" Calum smiled agreeing to the plan.

[cthomashoodstory]

Best Years but Not in the Same Way (26)

Calum Hood x Reader

Previous Part

Hi I’m back again after this long time, i hope u guys still waiting for this story!!! I’m so excited wrote this part and next part!!! Enjoy guys!

Disclaimer: english isn’t my first language so… you know.

Masterlist

-

Since the surprise announcement you made with Calum earlier, the paparazzi went crazy (again). They always came whenever you went out somewhere, they followed you everywhere you go, especially you didn’t own any vehicles and you always counted on online taxi.

Suddenly, your life is being a highlight of the year again. Like, the ex of famous male singer has moved on and dating her fellow bestfriend. It suck to be famous and everyone’s eyes are all over you.

They keep asking the same question over and over; are you still in touch with Justin? Did Justin knew you’re dating? How’s Justin’s reaction? Are they dumb? You hadn’t contacted him since the break up and they knew exactly You avoided him, you avoided every questions related to him. You didn’t even care about him anymore.

And yet they really had a nerve to asked that just only for a headline.

As you were predict before, few paps been outside the studio building you were came to. You went inside with an extra effort because they really blocking your way in.

As usual petty questions came out from their mouths while took pictures of me and Calum. But we really ignored it like what’s the point if i or Calum answered their questions? It would caused a world war three. Lol.

After we got inside the building, we walked to the studio room and we meet our fellow friends Ashton, Luke, Michael. And you realized there were your other songwriting friends like Andrew Watt, Ryan Tedder, Louis Bell, Ali Tamposi, and Charlie Puth.

“Hey Palvin,” Charlie looking you confused when he saw you and Calum holding hands. “Oh i forgot. Congrats for you both.” He got up and you hugged him.

“Thanks.” You said to Charlie. “So…,” you said it while looked at them one by one as a sign for them to explain to you their project.

Then Ryan Tedder explained to you. “Oh, we wrote lyrics and Charlie and Andrew are making the beat and i called Luke immediately because i felt this song is really suits them.”

You nodded and Charlie showed you the demo that finished days ago.

“So what do you think?” Andrew asked you after the song played. “It’s pretty sick to be honest.”

You nodded at his comment. “Yes, i love it so much. It’s very thrilling and i can’t wait for the final release.” You were very excited because the moment Charlie played the demo, you really fall in love to the beat and also Luke’s voice really matched the whole song.

After hours staying on the studio, mostly joking around with friends, then we shared our thoughts about music industry, producing, lyrics and all related to music, you and Calum decided to went home.

As you walked out of the building, paps swarmed you and Calum.

“Hey Saara, what’s the thing you did at the studio?”

“How was your day, Calum?”

“You two looks good together.”

“Any new project for 5sos?”

You looked at Calum, his face was straight and ignored all of the questions. And we kept walking to the parking lot.

“Is your relationship and Justin good?”

“Any comment about Justin’s marriage?”

“Are you jealous of her past relationship with Justin Bieber?”

The moment you heard the last question, you stopped walking and Calum immediately stopped too because he was confused why you stopped.

“Can you please, for once in your lifetime, be respectful to my boyfriend? He’s literally stood beside me and all you care was asking me irrelevant questions? Please. I don’t care if you all raining me with ex questions, but when I’m with him, you better be asked about us or shut your damn mouth.” You walked faster than before so you and Calum could arrived to the car and get away from them.

After we arrived at the car, we left the parking lot back to your apartment.

“Wow, what was that about? You’ve been such a badass.” He started the conversation.

You chuckled. “Those people need to be shut. I’m honestly tired with all those questions.”

“So what do you think about our new upcoming single?” He asked you as a distraction of this situation.

“I love it already. It’s so amazing, Luke’s voice is so matched to the lyric, and the bass line, i can imagine you performing with that cool bass line.” You gave him a positive comment because you knew that song would be a hit even you only heard the demo.

-

“Hi sister,” Mali greeted you when you answered her facetime call.

After Calum drove you off to your apartment, you immediately opened your laptop and get ready to have a virtual ‘meeting’ with Mali because today is the schedule for you and her to discuss her new upcoming single. She asked you for a help and you felt so honored to be a part of her project.

You waved to her through the web camere. “Hi Mali, how you doing?” You were so excited to talk to her even though you texted her everyday.

“I’m fine, what about you?” She asked you back while she sipped her drink.

“I’m good. Wait, why your room is so dark? Oh my God I’m so sorry I forgot, timezone.” You giggled. “So it’s midnight there? OMG Mali, I’m so sorry, we supposed to FaceTime at your local time, not mine.”

Then she laughed. “Don’t say sorry, sister. I’m the one who needs your help. Don’t worry, i took my coffee since hours ago.” She raised her glass. “How’s you and Calum? Everything’s good?”

You smile and nodded. “Yes. We’re good.” “Thank you… for always supporting me.”

“I’ve always liked you since the first time we met back in 2014. You were so kind, friendly, smart and i knew that you’re a good person. I knew that you’re the right person for my brother and i will always support you till the end of time. Past is just a past and we have to left it behind and move on to the future.” Her short speech almost made you cry. Because she’s a very lovely person and you love her so much.

“Virtual hug for you, sister.” That’s the first time of you to called her ‘sister’. Not because you didn’t want to, but you were shy and also scared to called her that because ‘the past’ and also scared she would rejected you. “So i had this lyric i made and i kept it for myself and i wanna show it to you.”

You opened the notebook. “So the lyric is kinda saying sorry for everything that happened and the person is kinda missed all the memories and she felt sad. Sorry I’m suck at explaining.” You grinned and you took your guitar beside you.

“Please show me.” Said Mali.

You started to strum the guitar. “I miss laying in the park, i miss the walks out after dark

You were my first and you'll be the last

I miss the rhythm of your heart, i miss your head laid on my chest

You always said that I was the best, no one ever spoke to me like you did

And I miss you, Cal, and it's hard to take and I can't be saved

I'm sorry

That I didn't give it all to you, I'm sorry

Don't look away 'cause I gotta say I'm sorry

Just hold me 'cause the words will fade, I'm sorry

That I didn't give it all to you.” You finished the first verse and chorus and Mali gave you an applause.

“Saara, that was beautiful.” She looked so stunned. “That was meaningful.”

Yes, that lyric was meaningful to you because you wrote it years ago back in 2015 when you were ‘separate’ from Calum and you felt so guilty about it. You didn’t even had a chance to say sorry to him and instead you wrote this songs as a reminder for you that he was your first special man that came into your life. You were so blinded by your obsession and couldn’t see that the man who always there for you was Calum and you were so glad that you’ve finally opened your eyes.

Then you smiles to her. “I will email you the rest of the lyric and let me know what you think.”

-

To be continued

Next Part

[clumsyclifford]

if you're still taking prompts “i haven’t seen him smile like that in ages.” with emo lashton maybe? so perhaps emo lashton having a good day i guess 😅 i love them so much sorry if you want just change this to normal lashton 🙈 -fiancee

emo lashton having a GOOD DAY i think you’re messing with the entire natural order of the world fiancee i dont even think this is legally allowed but i tried my best for you. also this fic includes a secret shoutout to @reveriesofawriter & her long way home theory so.......yeah

-

The thing about feeling bad is that Ashton always forgets that it ends. 

When it’s him, it’s so easy to lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel in favor of shutting his eyes and drowning in the darkness of it, sinking as deep as he can go until the pit of his stomach reaches the floor, until the soles of his feet hit rock bottom. Under the heavy weight of bad days, bad weeks, it always slips Ashton’s mind that it won’t always be this dismal. There’s an all-encompassing fact to his depression, so that when it sinks its teeth in it swallows Ashton up whole, and he thinks this is it, there’s only this, it’ll be just like this for the rest of my life, and it’s in those times that Ashton wonders if he shouldn’t just maybe cut that timeline short.

But he has to grit his teeth and bear it, because that’s really not an option for him. So he shoulders his own weight, and then one day he finds himself cracking a smile at a funny joke, and the realization strikes like a hammer, that this is the end of the darkness, for now. The tunnel has finally opened up, and the sun is starting to shine again, and Ashton feels dizzy with freedom.

The feeling of floating after being bogged down by the absolute bitch that is depression is relieving, no doubt. But there’s nothing compared to watching Luke get that feeling.

Ashton recognizes the signs of a crash as soon as it happens. Normally maybe he wouldn’t, but he’s so attuned to Luke, these days especially, that when something shifts, Ashton feels it. It’s small at first, and gets worse; Luke doesn’t really talk when they have dinner, and then he just stops coming to dinner. Ashton sees him around the house less and less, and makes a habit of knocking on his bedroom door just to hear the monotonous, “Yeah,” just to be sure Luke’s still inside, breathing. There’s no use trying to prise Luke from his misery — Ashton knows how listless Luke can be, how heavy he must feel — and all Ashton can do is tap subtle reminders into the doorframe that he’s here, if Luke needs him. 

(One way or another, Luke always needs him. Selfishly, Ashton is glad, because God knows he needs Luke more than is probably good for him, and this way it’s at least a two-way street.)

In the dark fog clouding the house, Ashton rigidly maintaining his role of caretaker, they both forget their plans.

“Alex.”

Alex's smile becomes tinged with uncertainty. “Ashton!”

“You’re at our house,” Ashton says slowly, racking his brain for a reason why.

Alex furrows his brow. He’s brought his guitar, Ashton notices, and it hits like a fucking freight train.

“Aren’t we writing?” Alex asks, and Ashton slaps his palm against his forehead.

“Fuck. Shit, we so are. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I totally forgot. I’m so sorry, man.”

Alex grins. “No problem. I’ve been there. You want me to go, or…?”

“No, no, you’re here already. Sorry. Come in.” Ashton glances behind him as Alex crosses the threshold and the door swings shut. Luke is in his room. Luke’s been in his room all day, and for most of yesterday too. Fuck. If he’d remembered he would have rescheduled with Alex, but now Alex is here, and Ashton likes to hang out with him even if they can’t get much done. Besides, Ashton likes writing with Alex.

It just feels wrong without Luke, but — whatever. Life has to go on. 

“Let me just,” Ashton says, feeling frazzled. Alex laughs.

“You’re high-strung today,” he observes, and Ashton runs a hand through his hair, feeling kind of embarrassed.

“Yeah. Uh, maybe. Sorry. Let me grab Luke, um, if I can.” He bites his lip. “He might not want to…he’s kind of, um.” Ashton trails off, but Alex picks up the thread anyway, and nods soberly.

“It’s cool,” he says.

“I’ll just check,” Ashton says, and leaves Alex in the living room, setting up his guitar, while he disappears to the back of the house to drum his fingers against Luke’s door.

“Luke?”

Luke pulls the door open, and Ashton breathes a sigh of relief without meaning to. Luke’s in the cotton t-shirt and joggers that he sleeps in, and his hair is unruly. Ashton resists the urge to reach out and fix it, and then thinks fuck it and reaches out anyway. He’s missed seeing Luke. There are dark circles under his eyes, and if Ashton peers further into the room he can spy Luke’s laptop open on the bed and his songwriting notebook next to it.

Luke says, “Alex is here. I know, I heard.” He leans into Ashton’s touch when Ashton rearranges his hair, and Ashton leaves his hand cupping Luke’s crown even after he’s finished fixing it up.

“You wanna join us?” he offers quietly. “It’s fine if you don’t. Alex will —”

“No, I will,” Luke sighs. “I should.” 

“Don’t do us any favors,” Ashton says, joking but also serious. “Honestly, Luke.”

“I’m coming,” Luke says firmly. He rubs his eyes with the heels of his palm — almost childishly, Ashton thinks — and says, “Give me a minute to, like.” He gestures vaguely, kind of towards himself.

“Okay,” Ashton says, because he knows too well how it feels to be babied when he’s set his mind to something, and it’s too frustrating for words. Luke is an adult. If he says he’s fine, Ashton has to trust that.

“He’s coming,” Ashton relays when he returns to the living room. Alex is sitting on the couch, messing around. Ashton gets snatches of familiar tunes, but Alex switches it up before he can put a name to them.

“Is everything okay?” Alex asks. Ashton shakes his head, smiling wryly.

“That’s the wrong question,” he says, and exhales loudly. “Everything will be okay. We’ll be fine.”

Alex gives a short nod. “I get it,” he says, and Ashton believes him.

Luke appears then, bundled up in a hoodie that once belonged to Ashton and the same joggers. “Hey,” he greets Alex, with a smile that doesn’t really reach his eyes. “Sorry about that.”

“No worries, man,” Alex says, hopping to his feet to pull Luke into a hug. Ashton half expects Luke to jerk away, but Luke sinks into it, and Alex maybe hugs him tighter than usual. 

When they break apart, Alex says, “There’s something I want to show you guys, actually. I forgot I had this here, but — it’s all in my 5SOS book.”

“Your 5SOS book?” Ashton repeats, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Luke sits beside him, and Alex stares at them for a moment before shaking his head.

“You know I’m, like, a grown-up, right? I shouldn’t be forced to sit on the floor with you spry motherfuckers.” Despite this, he eases himself to the carpet, stretching his legs out next to Ashton’s knee. He retrieves a familiar notebook from inside his guitar case — Ashton recognizes it from past writing sessions. “My 5SOS notebook,” Alex explains, waving it at them. “Where I put all the stuff I write with you guys.”

“Aw, he has a notebook just for us,” Ashton coos, nudging Luke gently with his shoulder. Luke huffs a tired laugh.

“I’m organized,” Alex says pointedly. Ashton grins. “Anyway, I was looking through it when you went to get Luke, and it has all the stuff from our first writing sessions ever, remember that? Five hundred years ago, or something?”

“Something like that,” Luke says. Ashton rests a hand on Luke’s knee, almost unconsciously.

“Long Way Home,” Alex muses, and hands off the notebook to Ashton. “You almost made me cry with that one.”

“What?” Luke says dimly. The page is covered in scribbles, many of them crossed out, and it’s faded with time and wear. Still, Ashton can make out Alex’s messy handwriting — Long Way Home (?) across the top, and underneath, (love song to the boys).

“Not in a bad way,” Alex says. “It was just — I don’t know. It’s like watching your kid sibling enter high school. I’d already done it, and seeing you guys do it — I mean, I knew you’d be a smash. I wished I’d had someone telling me, you know, take it slow. You don’t need to grow up so fast.” Ashton studies the page, Luke peering over his shoulder at the words. REMEMBER: SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! it says under the song title, and immediately beneath that, no one let these boys grow up before they’re ready. “I know it’s your song, but I like to think of it as my song to you,” Alex says, and when Ashton looks up at him he’s grinning shamelessly, but there’s not a hint of insincerity on his face.

“You wrote this about us?” Luke repeats, incredulous, running his fingers over the page as reverently as if it were the Bible, instead of some ratty ten-year-old notebook.

“Kind of,” Alex says. “You wrote it about yourself. I just helped.”

“The bridge,” Ashton remembers. “We’re just taking it slow. You wrote that part. You fucking sneak.”

Luke shakes his head, and when Ashton turns to look he’s smiling. This one isn’t like the one from before; it goes far past his eyes, pulling up every part of his face, loosening muscles that have probably been stagnating for weeks. 

“I just thought you might want to know,” Alex says. “I played it for the band — mine, I mean — and the moment they heard it, they knew. But, you know. We get it. We got it then, and we get it now.” A hint of timidity now curves itself into Alex’s smile. It’s not a familiar look. “I don’t think you really did take it slow, actually. Ignored your own music and shot straight to fame, but whatever, it’s none of my business.”

Luke actually laughs. The sound goes straight to Ashton’s heart, gives it wings, eases an ache he hadn’t even really known he’d had, and the energy of the room shifts. Ashton thinks maybe he’s the only one who feels it, but it’s definitely different.

“We’re taking it slow now,” Luke offers, sweeping a hand around the room. The other hand settles on top of Ashton’s, on his knee. Unthinkingly, Ashton flips his palm up, threading their fingers together. “Just took us some time to realize we needed it.” 

“Well, better late than never.”

“Yeah,” Luke says. It seems mostly to himself.

“So,” Ashton says. “Not that that wasn’t super sentimental, and I will be needing photos to send to Mike and Calum, but I feel like we should maybe try to write?”

“Yeah, okay. Give it back.” Alex snatches his notebook back, flips to a blank page, pulls out a pencil.

“Let me grab my guitar,” Luke says, and pushes himself to his feet, abruptly severing the connection between their hands. Alex’s eyes travel around the room, but Luke’s guitar is missing from its usual spot on the wall.

“It’s in his room,” Ashton explains. Luke drags his fingers across Ashton’s scalp as he leaves, a tingling trail in their wake. 

“He’s been pretty bad, huh,” Alex says in a low voice. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so…”

“Listless?” Ashton suggests bitterly. “I know. He’s been bad. But that was good. I haven’t seen him smile like that in ages.”

Alex shakes his head. “I was so worried that this would happen to you,” he says. His tone is almost mournful. “Maybe I should have done something more, I just thought —”

“Dude, stop,” Ashton says. “There’s really no point. You’re not responsible for us. As much as you probably wish you were. We made these decisions, and this is our life. It’s not all bad. It’s not even mostly bad.” At Alex’s skeptical expression, Ashton rectifies, “It’s usually better. You caught us at a rough time.” 

“I’m sorry,” Alex says.

“Don’t be sorry. Fuck, man, just don’t be sorry for anything.” It’s pointless, is the thing, and Ashton had meant what he said. Alex isn’t responsible for their growing up. Nobody is but themselves, and — and despite everything, despite the burning, piercing anguish that sometimes balloons in his chest, threatening to drown him, if he could go back he wouldn’t really change anything. There are downs, and they are low; but there are also ups, and those are too high to surrender. Ashton knows he’s lucky. If he’s going to be depressed, he may as well be doing the job of his dreams.

“I’m smarter than you, you know,” Alex says, with a hint of a mocking smile teasing at his lips. “And so much older.”

“More susceptible to damage, you mean. Let’s see you crowdsurf nowadays, grandpa.”

“I’m seriously gonna fucking poison you.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“I know where you live, you —” 

“That’s nothing, I could gather your whole band —”

“Just because your band fucked off to Australia —” 

“Alright, lads,” Luke interjects, returning with his guitar and the notebook Ashton had seen on his bed. “Enough fighting over me. I assume that’s what was happening.”

“If it was, I think I was winning,” Alex says immediately.

“Doubt it,” Luke says. “Not likely to leave Ashton that easily, am I?”

Alex inclines his head. He knows when he’s been beaten, evidently. “I surrender,” he says.

Ashton looks at Luke, and Luke is deliberately not looking at him, pink staining his cheeks. But the corners of his mouth are tugging themselves unwillingly into a smile, and Ashton breathes out and resists the urge to kiss Luke’s cheek, because he can see the sun coming out, finally, and it’s going to be a beautiful fucking day from here on out.