#also i didn't know what to name this womp

[impactrueno]

Beetlejuice clearly wasn't interested in Lydia when they met, so when do you think he actually fell for her? Was he so impressed by Lydia defeating him that he developed a little crush?

i think this might be the biggest thing i've been turning around in my head since the sequel dropped. how did bro get to this point. i need to know. you weren't like this where we left off, what happened during that huge time gap????

this is where canon ends and conjecture begins, you just have to theorize and fill in the gaps yourself with whatever makes the most sense to you, which is what i've been trying to do this whole time. so please bear with me here.

i don't know how much i want share or save for my comics because i don't know how much he would actually reveal about this but whatever we ball

edit: ok so i scrolled back up to this after finishing writing this and as it turns out i have no self control and i ended up sharing everything that crossed my mind. craziest stream of consciousness i've ever written down. strap on and keep your limbs inside the ride at all times. whatever. we BALL.

let's review their first encounter from his point of view:

you're hired to scare the deetzes, right? so you do just that. excellently you might add. just when you're about to terrorize their teenage daughter, barbara banishes you and the party is over. what fucking losers right? you get the sense that adam and barbara care about this girl so you make some remark about her and it pisses them off. haha. also whoa where did this place come from? damn adam, who could've guessed he had it in him. you forget about everything else and dance your way to dante's inferno room.

after spending a respectably tasteful evening with those ladies, you're chill now. relaxing under your little sun lamp to work on your tan.

someone walks in looking for adam and barbara. don't they know they're dead?

"are you a ghost too?"

"i'm the ghost with the most, babe."

hold on a sec, who's even—

...well hey. it's the girl.

the girl who can see ghosts, and she's talking to you.

target acquired. this one's your ticket out of this hellhole.

"you look like somebody i can relate to," you tell her. relate how? doesn't matter. you're ensnaring her with your affable demeanor like you always do, make people feel like you're pals with them first and foremost. she seems like a nice girl, so this should be easy. you tell her upfront that you want to get out of there and you need her help to do so.

"i want to get in," she says.

whoa there.

what? she wants to get in? she says that in response to you saying that you wanted out. she really has no idea what it's like on the other side, huh. but shit, that kinda stops you in your tracks a bit. this girl wants to die. this young? that's not right. makes no sense.

"...why?"

she just looks at you and says nothing. jesus. ok maybe it's none of your business so let's back it up. you're losing control of the conversation and you're on a mission here. you figure if she helps you get out, you might as well talk her off that ledge or show her how shitty it is on the other side or somethin'. frankly, you can't afford to care right now. you're not entirely sure why she thinks things would be better on the side you're so desperate to get out of, but alright. doesn't matter, right now you gotta get her to summon you. so you begin your little game of charades.

after she correctly guesses your name and almost says it a third time, she recognizes you as the snake that terrorized her family. god fucking dammit. you're losing her. you're getting impatient. your affable act is over. "nah...i want to talk to barbara," she says and now she's REALLY getting on your nerves because fuck barbara, fuck adam, you're SO CLOSE to getting out and you're not gonna let this go now, go go GO GO SAY IIIIIIITTTTTTT

adam and barbara walk in because of course they do. womp womp

ok well that didn't work, but you're not gonna give up so easily. sooner or later another opportunity will come and soon you will be free.

wait why are they moving the model— where are they taking it—

ooohhhhh. business meeting. get a load of these yuppies, trying to turn winter river into a town-sized Ripley's Believe it or Not. a talking marcel marceau statue? and you thought you were a con man. no wonder the deetz girl wants to die, it's bleak as hell here too. but if you get out...you can fix that. hell, you can fix anything.

these bozos are here to see some ghosts, but the girl says they're not going to show up unless the fleshbags stop making a mockery out of the whole thing and that maybe they can all live happy together in the house. ain't that sweet.

of course no one's taking her seriously. she's a kid, what does she know, right? they'd rather listen to the most obnoxious guy in the room (besides yourself) who has no idea what the fuck he's talking about, but somehow, he's got his hands on the handbook.

the girl panics, then immediately says completely deadpan "wait, what am i even worried about, otho, you can't even change a tire" and you're surprised they didn't hear how hard you cackled at that.

despite all that, they seem to have started a séance with their old wedding clothes. bad news for the maitlands. they're about to be dead-dead. the girl cries for them to stop, and these guys are just sitting there scared shitless. you're hearing everything. you knew a new opportunity would arise, so you wait, because this is the part where people remember how good at your job you are. they always do.

she knows you can help. you're the only one who can help. so here she comes. those wedding clothes give you an idea. plan B is now in motion.

well well well.

look who came crawling back.

she asks for your help, and you're happy to oblige, under one condition of course. after all, you don't do anything for free, and she's the only one who can help you with your problem. how serendipitous.

once again, you lay it on her, straight up. you want out. and a way to do it (thanks adam and barbara for the reminder) is through marriage with a fleshbag. you need to get married. a green card marriage, if you will.

she's immediately disgusted by the idea. you don't take that personally, of course, because it doesn't matter. she's just a kid and it's not a real marriage. she just happens to be unlucky enough to be the only one around who can assist you with this, the poor girl. it's a marriage of convenience—or rather, inconvenience—and you're not planning on sticking around because you will get the hell out of there as soon as you can. so there shouldn't be a problem, right? besides, does she know how many women would kill to be in that position? she gets to brag about it to her friends, what's not to like? it's a totally even deal.

the clock is ticking and the maitlands aren't getting any younger. she agrees to the deal. you win, at last.

she already knows what to do, so you sit there patiently with a shit-eating grin on your face, awaiting the three little B words. gloating.

Beetlejuice........Beetlejuice...........Beetlejuice.

it's showtime.

this is your favorite part. you love a dramatic entrance. you decide to show the deetzes and their greedy friends the circus they so wanted to turn this town into. horrible as you are, you're also pretty damn good at calling out other people's horribleness, and you do love an ironic karmic way of dealing with someone. for example tubby here thinks he can escape, but not before you change his sleek black suit into a tacky white leisure suit. the horror! this is why you're a professional at this.

you effortlessly end the exorcism and the maitlands are saved. a little pruney right now but they'll be fine. everything is taken care of, you have fulfilled your end of the deal like you promised. only one thing left to do.

"shall we?"

there's really no need to make a whole show out of this, but you're a showman first and foremost and as a 𝒥𝓊𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝓊𝓂 you'll be damned if you're not gonna let yourself have a little fun with this. everyone looks terrified. this is why you're a professional at this.

witnesses and reverend in place, you can finally begin the ceremony. you're having fun, yes, but let's try to pick up the pace a bit, okay? the closer you get to your goal, the more impatient you get. the girl isn't finding any of this very funny at all and she protests. the maitlands butt in and are now kind of twisting your arm a bit, but you deal with them harmlessly, until they get on your last nerve so you send adam to the model and barbara to saturn. all of this after you honorably fulfilled your end of the bargain and saved the day. jesus christ, are you the only one with some integrity around here or what.

you forget the stupid ring. shit. you're pretty sure you have it on you somewhere, ever since you chopped up delores into pieces for poisoning you. you kept her ring finger as a trophy and as a reminder to never get married again, and yet here you are, but desperate times call for desperate measures. finally, you find the ring (still on her severed finger) and hastily tell your new bride-to-be that delores meant nothing to you. in case she even cares. she doesn't seem to. not even a chuckle? oh well.

almost done with the ceremony. almost there. you're holding the girl's hand with an iron grip to keep her in place as you're about to put that ring on her finger. "i now pronounce you, man and—"

a tiny car crashes against your foot and it catches on fire. you scream. a fucking sandworm crashes into the room through the ceiling. everyone screams. you scream LOUDER.

you're sent back to the afterlife waiting room.

not your first rodeo with a sandworm, but that doesn't make the experience any less shitty. the real annoying part is being in the waiting room again. this could take ages. you're number 9,998,383,750,000 and they're serving number 3 right now. you trick the guy next to you and steal his ticket (number 4) but he's not too pleased about that, so that didn't work.

a long time sitting here it is, then.

movie ends, credits roll.

for reference, that was 1988. winona ryder was 15 when they were filming in 1987 so while lydia doesn't have a confirmed age, i think we can safely assume that she was the same age as winona at the time.

36 years later, it's 2024. or 34 years later, it's 2022. we don't know the exact year because while bob's in memoriam credits scene says 2024 and all the interviews talk about how 36 years have passed in universe as well, there's this other one tiny detail.

jeremy's death passport says he died on march 11, 1999. jane butterfield says he died "23 years ago," putting the movie in 2022. they did film it in 2022 so the math is mathing correctly there. given that the in memoriam scene was more of a joke and jeremy's passport is a canon prop in the movie, i'd say 2022 is the canon year the movie is set in. (small sidenote; the passport also has the roman numerals DCLXVI which is 666. cute detail i loved it)

in the sequel, beetlejuice says lydia has been ignoring him for 30 years. i always thought that was curious because outside of this claim, they always specify how many years exactly have passed since. he doesn't say 34 or 36, he says 30. and for his degree of obsession (and the fact that he remembers exactly how many times he's watched The Exorcist) i think he would be counting even the days so i think he did really mean 30 years. so this would mean at least 4 years passed between getting sent back to the waiting room and the beginning of his stalking.

AND NOW that we established all that, we are finally getting to the answer to the question, "when and how did this all start?"

so okay, he spent a while in the waiting room. a lot of time to think. probably replaying the events at the deetzes' in his head over and over, how he got here, where he fucked up, what's he gonna do once he gets out. cursing the maitlands for ruining his plan when he was soooo fucking close. wondering what ever happened to lydia deetz.

lydia deetz, the young girl who told him she wanted to die.

...

is she alright?

i don't think he's capable of feeling guilt, but we can probably argue that he's not entirely heartless. what she said about how she wanted to "get in" must've stuck with him from the way he reacted when she dropped that bomb. she never showed up in the waiting room so he knows she didn't follow through with that. still, he used a vulnerable young girl for his own selfish gain. ironically enough, he knows exactly how that feels, because he also got tricked into marriage and got used for someone else's gain. the difference being that he dealt with that shit with an axe.

much much much to think about for mr. juice.

after years of ruminating in that waiting room, he's finally out and back to the regular day to day afterlife. definitely gets chewed out by juno, maybe forced to do community service or labor or what have you, he basically just needs to clean up his act now. this freelancing shit is becoming more trouble than it's worth anyway.

he's still wondering about lydia deetz. should he check in on her? maybe he should, he's too curious now.

at this point, lydia is now about 19-21 and in college. maybe he manages to sneak into the model one time she's back home for the holidays or something. and oh my god would you look at that, what a beautiful young woman she's grown into. she's radiant. she's happy. she's no longer that gloomy suicidal kid he met in the attic. seems like what she said about the deetzes and the maitlands sharing the house did come true after all.

that's nice. very sweet. good to know.

maybe he wonders if she remembers him and tries to get her attention somehow, give her a little scare for old times sake or whatever. for a brief moment it seems like she saw something and her expression changes, but she shrugs it off and continues on chatting with her two sets of parents. no such luck.

oh well. curiosity sated! and beetlejuice goes back home and doesn't return.

until the next time he returns.

and he keeps coming back to check in on her, telling himself he's just making sure that she hasn't killed herself or something. and he's not above admitting that with every year that passes, she keeps getting more beautiful. and to think they almost got married, huh.

he constantly tries to get her to notice him somehow, and sometimes she almost does, but ultimately he never really succeeds beyond making her do a double take. very rarely she does catch a glimpse of him. he's seen her mutter to herself that she's just seeing things and she seems a bit frightened every time this happens, but there's nothing to fear, honey, it's just good ol' beetlejuice. he won't lie, he gets a bit of a rush every time and it makes his dead heart beat faintly. he's gotten this far, he can't just stop now. in his mind, this has become their little private game of cat and mouse, where the mouse ignores the cat. but aren't they cute? he thinks they're cute. this is not creepy at all!

before he realizes, he's already learned everything about her. he knows about richard and even watched their wedding from afar like a loser. he knows she gave birth to a healthy baby girl named astrid. he knows they have a blast on halloween. halloween is lydia's favorite holiday, and his too. sometimes he can't help but see the three of them happy together and think it could've totally been him. even if he and richard are nothing alike (in fact could not be more opposite) and the circumstances of their unholy wedding were nothing short of grim and a farce. but in his mind, he's starting to convince himself otherwise.

maybe it's his jealousy speaking, but lydia doesn't seem to be that happy with richard despite everything. even though richard is like, the perfect guy. then one day his suspicions are proven correct: neither of them knows why it happened, but after having a long and emotional talk (that he watched with a bucket of popcorn) they decide to get a divorce. he pumps his fist, feeling victorious for some reason. sure he's a little sadistic at times, but why is this giving him so much glee?

the divorce is hard on lydia's kid, who was always more attached to her father, but they still spend a lot of time together. sometimes the three of them, since richard and lydia kept things amicable after the divorce. lydia tries to move on and see other people, but each relationship fails before it even starts. mostly because she keeps holding back and so fails to connect with anyone else, but also sometimes because, well, he can't help himself but to scare them away from her from time to time. it's fun. in his mind, he's just being protective of her, as a gentleman should for a lady.

then richard dies. fell into a piranha infested river from the looks of it (he saw him at immigration one day, don't ask what he was doing around there, force of habit after constantly making sure lydia hasn't killed herself yet.) it's devastating for both lydia and astrid, straining their relationship even more for the next few years as they both try to cope with the loss. the shock proves to be too much for lydia, so she goes to a survivors retreat to work through her trauma, both from richard's death and "unresolved feelings."

then lydia, at her most vulnerable, meets rory.

beetlejuice was able to clock him immediately. a textbook manipulative opportunist, he himself knows the tactics very well. swoop in to "help" someone in a vulnerable position, pull the wool over their eyes and begin taking control so you can get what you want out of that person.

he wouldn't admit it, but this really irks beetlejuice. you know when you see someone who reminds you of the worst parts of yourself, so you despise them? yeah. he's been there, and he's also been him.

but rory is somehow even worse than beetlejuice. see, rory is her manager, and boy does he manage to get on his nerves. he takes her phone. he controls what medication she takes. he blames and guilt trips her about every mishap that HE causes, making himself look like her benevolent savior and making her feel like she would be lost without him, confusing her with his psychobabble. on top of all that, he's forcing her to do this hacky show called Ghost House where she "hunts ghosts" or whatever. the houses he's been helping newly-deads with in his day job as a bio-exorcist (now with a fleet of employees,) she's "hunting" those ghosts now. it's so dumb. it never works. beetlejuice doesn't even know what the hell she's doing, she's phoning it in most of the time and she knows she's become a sellout. what happened to that "strange and unusual" girl who stood up for her ghost friends when those suits wanted to profit off of them back in winter river?

he needs to bring that back. he's the only one who can.

in his mind, beetlejuice has already rewritten the events that transpired. in his mind, lydia has been his wife this entire time, it's just, y'know, one of those open long distance relationships and she doesn't always remember him, but that's okay. in his mind, they share a psychic bond that allows her to sense his presence or see him in her dreams from time to time. he's got nothing to be jealous about, because other men can't compare. no one else can match what they have.

sure, part of him knows he's lying to himself a little bit. but he's already clung to this idea; these past 30 years wouldn't make sense otherwise. he's in love with lydia deetz. this isn't insane of him to say at all. and if it is, well, you know what they say, love makes you do batshit crazy things.

it's not that complicated, no matter what they say you'll never meet another me it's not that difficult to get my head around i'll never meet another you

the end

don't trick me into writing a fanfic again

[batcavescolony]

I see a lot of people upset about William Kaplan being dead and no one mourning him cus Billy stole his body and I just don't see it that way. The kid in Wanda Vision is Billy Maximoff, The teenager at the Bar Mitzvah is William Kaplan, the Teen that got taken to the hospital after the wreck is neither and both Billy Maximoff and William Kaplan. That Teen went home with the abilities of Billy Maximoff, to the home of William Kaplan, with memories of neither and lived there for three years. He cares about Rebecca and Jeff, he lied to the to protect them from pain, they are his parents. He wants to find Tommy, he has magical powers, he wants to know who he is. All of these things are true. I wouldn't say William Kaplan is dead he just doesn't remember, like Agatha wasn't dead when he was Agnes, she just didn't remember.

[marzipanandminutiae]

This is maybe a silly question, but how does a dance card work? I hear about them but I don't really know what they are or do.

Basically, during the 19th-mid 20th centuries, women might have one at a ball with a little pencil (usually given as party favors). Thus:

Dance card from a ball on January 11, 1887.

Before dancing started, men would approach women and ask for this or that dance with them. Women could refuse, but would then have to sit that dance out entirely so as not to appear rude- rejecting one man and then accepting another was seen as impolite. The general rule was to accept your first offer, in part because dancing didn't always imply romance. It was a social activity, and you were supposed to be a good sport and spread yourself around, so to speak. Men weren't exempt from this, either- asking ladies for as many of the dances as possible was considered good manners, for the same reason.

once one had a partner committed for a given dance, one would write his name on one's dance card. this was as much to create a memento as to jog one's memory later, it seems to me. you could also be asked to dance immediately before a dance started and write the name of your partner in afterwards; see above re: memento creation

and that's basically it

(men usually just had to remember with whom they had claimed each dance. womp womp.)

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Yandere! closed off! ex/boyfriend x gn! lover! reader

Ughhh I tried doing angst but failed womp womp.

As you can see, this fic is more or less fantastical, but I tried to do realism, as much as realistic a yandere fic could be.

But I failed LOL I don't know how to write angst. I tried tho.

This one is inspired by an imagine that I saw on tiktok, that's also apparently stolen? I dunno.

I think this is my longest fic so far?

Yandere! boyfriend name: Lee

TW: Unaffectionate boyfriend, neglect, love bombing

Lee was a man of few words. He never liked showing emotions, nor affection.

He didn't grow up in a family of loving members. Only people who did the bare minimum in affection, and poured their "love" in giving him gifts.

Fortunately, he didn't grow up a materialistic and greedy man.

Well, he wished he was.

At least he still has something to fill his heart with, something to be wanting of.

All he got from that kind of upbringing is dampened emotions that pushed his friends away. If he had anyone to begin with.

He's one lonely man.

So Lee did what he thinks is the best for himself. And it's to be selfish.

If someone tried to get close with him, he pushes them off first before he becomes attached. When his family tried to be loving, he cringes and shies away with the most disgusted face ever. He shielded his heart at such a young age.

And it had tall repercussions because of it.

Now, that he's an adult and in University, with that selfish mindset out of the way due to maturing, he just realized he doesn't know how to connect anymore.

But he's a handsome man, so finding someone was easy for him.

In an "eenie, minie, mo" type of choosing, he chose you, a starry eyed, affectionate, and optimistic person. Someone who adored Lee, and wished to be his friend, maybe more.

Why? You always ask yourself that too.

But that magnetic pull meant that you became his, and him became yours.

He was stoic with it, just asking you straight up to be his lover without any emotions. And you, overwhelmed with happiness, just said yes without noticing how frigid he looks with it.

Being with Lee was fun at first, well, that's what you tell yourself.

You showered him with affection, kissing him, hugging him, holding his hands... You tried everything to give him the affection he never had.

I mean, he always receives it well, right?

So it means it was okay... Right?

But as weeks passed, he never returned the affection, only a cold recognition with his eyes and a grunt, maybe a shoulder shrug. The occasional side hug was even more than enough for you. Then there's the rare kiss (on the forehead) that you relished on.

It was the bare fucking minimum.

And as pitiful as it sounds, you were satisfied with it.

Are you really satisfied with it?

You wanted that same amount of affection back, or less. You just wanted a fair two way relationship goddamnit!

It's like Lee was a void, just sucking your affection and not returning it.

You understood him. Really you did!

But the way he was so unbothered and annoyed by your simple suggestions of maybe doing more than he does is breaking your already broken heart.

You were gaslighting yourself, thinking that why are you asking Lee for so much when he can't give affection a normal human can? Why are you pushing him to do something he can't? Why are you being so needy and clingy?

Why are you so desperate?

Lee was not having it either. He was always so annoyed whenever you ask for hugs, kisses, dates...

What does he really want from this relationship?

As you wept your heart out for hurting for the wrong man, you steeled it and decided to do the inevitable.

You dragged Lee to the beach for a little get together.

You wanted to see if he would remember that it's your anniversary today.

"Lee! Come on! I want to swim!" You enthusiastically said, running to the sand and giggling at how the sand tickles your soles.

As usual, Lee only scoffs and annoyingly shrugged off his backpack onto the blanket.

"I told you I'm busy." Lee muttered, annoyance riddled his face.

Lee didn't even flinch when he lied smoothly. He wasn't busy at all.

Was it really a hassle to spend time with you? In your anniversary, no less?

You cleared your throat before smiling once more, a whisper of broken unspoken promises lingering in your mind and heart shattered completely.

Maybe you could salvage it?

You approached Lee and gave him a sunscreen. He grabbed it with an exasperated sigh.

"Turn around." He seethed.

Somehow, you think this was a bad idea but you persevered and turned around.

He was harsh with it, slapping and rubbing your back like he was doing such an annoying task with a heavy heart and hand. You winced every time he digs the heel of his palm to your back, like he's delivering a message.

Why can't you leave him alone?

"I think that's enough!" You said with a happy edge on your tone, trying not to show that you were hurt physically and emotionally by what he's doing. You skipped to the waters, going underwater and letting out your tears.

The saltwater stung your eyes heavily, but it hurts less than what Lee's doing to you.

After letting out your frustrations into swimming, you decided you had enough.

With a heavy heart, you trudged towards him with a solemn look in your face.

Lee, who was just scrolling through his phone, heard you out with an angry look on his face when you called his name.

Yet, it slowly fell to obscurity, his body felt numb.

You told him how hurt you were, how him not showing affection and being constantly annoyed at you squeezed your heart until it popped, only leaving a pile of hurt.

"Lee, I love you so much that it hurts. I feel so horrible whenever I ask you to return the affection I give you because I know that you're not affectionate!" You wheezed out, your voice hoarse from all the pain bubbling over your throat, vomiting words you meant and never meant, but all was for Lee. "Was I only with you for you to absorb everything? Be satisfied with you just standing there idly, and returning the affection only in the bare fucking minimum?! Answer me!"

Your eyes search desperately for a sign of regret, a sign of guilt, but nothing.

His eyes showed nothing.

"Are you done? Then it's over then."

It was your turn to be numb, your knees weak as you slumped down, with Lee standing up. He grabbed his bag and left, not even looking back at your weeping form.

Happy anniversary, and sorry for your breakup.

Lee felt free.

Finally.

After a year of tolerating your "clingy" self, he finally felt free.

Lee regretted being in a relationship. He thought that maybe, when he gets with someone, he finally won't feel lonely anymore.

But being with you suffocated him, and everything you did was annoying him to shit.

Did he feel bad?

Eh....

Weeks passed, and when he pass by you in the hallways, trying to talk to him for closure, he just ignores you like a breeze.

People looked at him like he's the most cruel person on earth but he just shrugs it off. So what?

Lee felt awkward though, so he avoided you at all costs until he thinks it's the right time to talk with you.

And when it was finally time, he saw you with an another man, making you happy and making you smile.

The man brought his fingers on the corner of your lips and turned it upwards, and he smiled brightly also as you rolled your eyes and laughed at him.

Didn't you love him? So what's this?

Lee clearly remembers you crying for him in such a heartbreaking state.

He scoffed with such disbelief and looked away.

Then, he felt his heart hurt. His eyes widened.

No fucking way.

Now, every time he pass by you, his heart hurts and his head fills with anger as he saw you become happy with the company of others.

Why were you happy with them? Weren't he your ultimate happiness?

Why are you laughing with them? Why not him?

His desperation for you to look his way, to give him your sorrowful eyes, to give him affection that is only rightfully his, is getting into his head.

Rumors of you dating again got to him one day when he was sitting on his seat in Physics class, wallowing in anger and desperation.

You moved on? Just like that?

He gripped his pen and broke it in half.

"No! Lee let go of me!"

"I love you so much y/n please come back to me!"

"You're insane!"

"No! I'm not! Can you see? I'm being affectionate now! So please love me again!"

"No! Please! Let me go! I will not tell the authorities that you killed [redacted] and kidnapped me!"

"DON'T FUCKING SAY HIS NAME!"

"LOOK AT ME!"

"Only look at me, and say my name."

"You love me right? I love you too. There's no need for you to be shy now."

"Shy?! But all I wa--"

"Quiet! You're not going to be away from me. Not anymore. I was stupid enough to let you go, now you're not going anywhere."

"Mmf?!"

"Shh... The gag is necessary. Now, please, love me again, baby."

"Please."

"I'm desperate."

[siffrin-enthusiast]

my disability post is blowing up again so let me tell you the funniest things that have happened to me while being disabled or using various mobility aids. feel free to add your own btw

when getting discharged from the hospital for surgery, i was "taught" how to use crutches for less than three minutes. i checked the timestamps between discord messages. it cost hundreds of dollars btw

my high school's one and only wheelchair ramp into the auditorium was too steep to be used by a wheelchair even with the help of a handrail. instead of doing anything about this, the staff made it a point of personal pride to wheel me up despite me asking them not to for every. single. assembly. disability inclusion <3

getting recognized as a regular by the receptionists at the hospital was. a little embarrassing.

shoutout to one physical therapist in particular who realized i had a tremor and then decided to exacerbate it for. uhhhh. she didn't even say why. she just wanted to see why. anyway it set me back like four months

some sidewalks were just UNUSABLE (bumpiness, width, debris). like it was literally safer to be in the ROAD in my wheelchair then some fucking sidewalks.

after i had just gotten out of said wheelchair and used the elevator, i took too long going through the elevator doors and the doors decided to crush me. thank you elevator, very cool!

i was seen by several doctors who did not know what my condition was despite me putting it on every single patient form and sending pdfs of my diagnoses and symptoms in advance of every appointment

remember that surgery i mentioned? so it turns out there was not a problem with the affected joint. it was just hypermobile. that is a twenty minute test. they did not think to test me for hypermobility. before doing surgery on me. anyway i have generalized hypermobility and that ankle is now the worst joint in my entire body

almost got sent to truancy court despite every absence having an excuse note from an ER clinic or a neurologist checking me for. like. literal actual brain cancer. STAT orders and all.

speaking of my high school, it took seven minutes to get between two of my classes in high school because there was one elevator, located in the center of the building, and these classes were right on the left end of the building. when i was able to walk the route, it took under two minutes. this happened a lot, actually.

doctors: you needs this medication. if you want to stay out of the er you are going to take it. some guy named frank in insurance who hasnt even looked at the file: nah u really dont :/

also thing that seems obvious but you don't realize it until you're in that situation: if the elevator is broken and you cannot walk stairs or if the disabled door will not open with the button press and you can't open it yourself, you are just Stuck there. enjoy!

waited a year for a specialist appointment that lasted twenty minutes and got told nobody had done the research into what i had even though this doctor had seen dozens of cases exactly like mine. boo womp

remember that hypermobility i mentioned? it was actually picked up by a physical therapist in our first session. she did not mention it until i asked her about the possibility of being hypermobile four months later. she "thought i knew already".

"maybe it's just school anxiety," says the doctor while looking at my sitting heart rate of 150 bpm, "are you anxious about going to school?"

[xshiny]

König x gn!reader prt 3

Imma pretend that the Weimar Constitution didn't happen on August 14, 1919...it's a fan fiction, what can i say 🤷‍♀️.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

When you turn, you see a whole ass 6'10 giant man walking your way- but he's wearing traditional German royal clothes. Could this bear for a man possibly be your long lost spouse from childhood? I mean...the hood he was wearing over his face was familiar...

You didn't notice you were staring until Horangi nudge you. He gives you a smirk, but also gestures to the man who is now standing in front of us. He gives you an encouraging thumbs up to greet him.

Turning back to face the man, you stammer, unsure of what to say or how to react. Were you supposed to curtsy/bow? Did you have to get in one knee and kiss his knuckles? Should you put your hand out for a handshake? Instead, the man just chuckles at you, seeing how you fumbled with in greeting him.

"Y/n...it's been so long since I last saw you" the man speaks, and bows. You quickly bow/curtsy back. "Meine Liebe...Surely you remember me, no?" The man asks, his German accent slipping through. He takes his hooded mask off, revealing his handsome face.

Those eyes...the hair, am even the smile was still the same as you remembered it was, twenty years ago. You don't realize you were crying until the man reaches forward and wipes it away.

"Schatz...why are you crying?" He asks, and you lean into his touch. Yes. This was your long lost spouse from childhood.

"König..." you croak out, same reach up to his hands, feeling how calloused and rough they were, yet how soft and warm they held you. You haven't spoken his name since the day he left till now. "It's really you"

"Ja, das bin ich wirklich" König speaks, and pulls you in for an embrace. "I'm here, Meine Libeling"

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

A/n: Imma put this here so I can brainstorm some more 😃👍

Anyway, yeah. Womp womp chomp chomp.

Translations:

"Meine Libeling" -> "my love"

"Schatz" -> "Darling"

"Ja, das bin ich wirklich" -> "Yes, it's really me"

Also, does anyone else know his real full name? Like I found a post About it but I can't find it...😭 Wasn't it something like Kilgore Alexander or something 🤔.

[kissmethroughthebone]

Now for the witchy people.....

I've been going through it. Had recently been banned from a favorite social spot of mine, since some predators (and enablers) in the scene wanted me away. Not a total loss, just a surprise AND embarrassing.

But its like... Oh no. I can't go to an open mic with a low turnout and rats any more to watch mid comedians perform? Oh pooh!

And fresh out of an abusive relationship, where the ex actually had texted me a large essay about all they hate about me. (Also not a loss, because I left him for SA related reasons and an overall sex addiction paired with a lack of accountability or safety.)

Cry me a river sir, I set a boundary after I was already having you on thin ice in my head. And you broke the ice, and can drown.

[Post-abusive relationship brain = sometimes your brain had allowed people around too long, since you saw endearing qualities or had seen potential or good moments.... But I was finally taking off the rose colored glasses.] He was all mad that I didn't wanna talk about sex with him, even as a joke, and decided a tantrum and name slinging was appropriate, and blocked me everywhere. And now is mad that a month later, I've had a lot of fun without him and any tactics to re-enter are failing. Nananana booboo. Womp womp.

And the new guy I casually saw put me in a situation where I had been attacked by his ex, FIRST thing in the morning. (An EX. As in, broken up, not even dating any more. You could tell she still loved him since she was putting her hands on me and not HIM.)

Like maam! I don't even know your name! And this is not even a man I am serious with! What the fuck?!

(I backhanded the shit out of her, though. The difference between me and her is, I fought her out of self respect and defense. She fought me over a white twink with a good job and a big dick moving on from her faster than she wanted. And that is not my issue.)

And my housemate is of course leaving the bathroom reeking even with incense around, and has dishes in the sink that have been there since about February.

They make the house reek of cat food, and we don't even have a cat. Their dish water is just getting yellow, thick and murky, like some sort of weird egg drop soup mixed with a roux. (Ew!)

I also have been drained more often. I know, some stuff can be resolved with more water, some probiotics, some walks, reading, drawing, dancing, and more random impromptu social outings...

But I am also a tad tired of feeling like there's a mental blockage preventing me from my goals and self esteem actually flourishing again.

Anyone able to suggest any spells for me?

Any spells, routines, candle work, chakra stuff, tarot readings, anything? Affirmations are also wonderful, and I like spells just to add an extra oomph of reassurance that it's all gonna go great.

Any spells like:

1. Attraction Spell for Wealthy Safe Partners (I want to date people who are aligned with my life and goals and provide exactly what I am aiming for; paid bills, thoughtful intentional gifts, and invested in projects that I flourish in!)

2. Friendship Magnet Spell (I want followers and friends that are good energied but still a tad edgy enough that we align perfectly well, and to be a magnet to those who are great for me and healthy. And not just fake ones, like actually going out to events, being and feeling heard, aligned socially and emotionally and mentally! And talking consistently! That good stuff!)

3. Clarity and Focus Spell (so I can not be distracted midway through a task, 45 times a day, and somehow get 1% done in 45 things and yet nothing done at all.... also, energy to get up and go without any hesitation)

4. Health and Vitality Spell (because it would be great if my legs, back, spine, head, neck, arms, hips, pussy, feet, and brain all could work together and make an amazingly functioning human that can actually walk in public and have an easy time existing)

5. Protection Spell Against Negative Energies (because whew, that was... a lot! And Florida Water hasn't stopped shit. Here I was, manifesting peace and protection from vile energies, and I still got harmed TWICE, once from a pest [a rat scratched me], and another from another type of pest; a shrew! And her nails were even LONGER, and hair even of worse quality! Aliexpress ass wig!)

[c4fin4t3d-f1sh]

Day in the Life of Me... A Therian who has Given up on Caring. (But isn't a freak about it :])

Before school: I put on my tail on my back belt loop because fuck school bullies.

Period... TEST: We had state testing, womp womp. Had to write an essay about building a town monument. Nothing exciting.

Period 1 ELA: We literally had a test break the entire period. I ate salsa chips and kinda just scrolled on Pinterest.

Period 4 Science: Our school day was out of order because of testing lol. We got our rats which we have to dissect tomorrow. I was the only one super happy (I'm a taxidermy enthusiast) and named my rat Timothy. One kid barked at me, I don't really care.

Lunch: My friends started making fun of me and calling me a furry and screaming skibidi toilet shit at me.... I ate a PB&J, strawberries, lettuce, and a granola bar.

Period 2 ELA: We were reading for debate and just doing research.

Period 3 History: We learned about the temples in San Bartolo and about H. Hurst, who was the lady who started the San Bartolo excavation groups.

Period 6 Math: We played this weird game called Rollo, and also played a jeopardy about completely unrelated stuff. Pretty fun class today ngl.

Period 7 Studio Art: Just worked on my clay tic-tac-toe board. Made some of the custom pieces in the shapes of crescent moons.

Period 8 PE (This is where it gets funny): We didn't have to change today and had free choice (luckily) but two girls started barking at me and took pictures of me while I was turned around, which kinda ticked me off? I don't know, didn't matter for long. We had to at least run a lap, so everyone ran off to the track and some girls we're whispering about me behind my back then started barking and awoo-ing at me, which I quietly refrained myself from asking if they needed a treat. The rest of class was pretty chill except some kids tried throwing balls and frisbees at my head.

Well, that's my daily life as a therian. I don't do anything weird, I don't walk around on all fours, I don't shit in litter boxes (or the school bathrooms tbh). What a shocker.

[ms-moonlight-inn]

✨✨Weekly Tag Wednesday ✨✨

Look at this shit, it's me answering one of these on the actual day it was assigned. Magic! 🪄🔮

Tagged by @blue-disco-lights, @burninface, @energievie, @jrooc, & @mybrainismelted & @guinguin1984

Name: Burned out & waiting for summer AKA Cyn

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (or you): That place that keeps promising the Northern lights, but it's always cloudy af here, so we never actually get to see them. last night was supposed to be a good light show... womp, womp... thunderstorms. 

Ok, so this week we are going to snoop into your google search. Type in each phrase and tell us what the first suggestion is that google gives you!

What is the best way to…. study. LOL! Ok, Google, thanks for the generic answers that only work for the few non-neurodivergent individuals in the room.

Where can I…. watch the Celtics game. Um, fuck no. Basketball sucks now, all the new rules have watered down the sport. Also, fuck the Celtics. I'm a die-hard Lakers fan.

How old is…. Joe Biden. There ya go. asked and answered.

How long does it take… to get to the moon. Just g'head and blame my son for this, and all astronomical questions, being permanently etched into our search history.

How many…  weeks in a year. It's moo, motherfucker, moo. Also, 52.

Who set the record for…. the highest jump (@blue-disco-lights, we're all getting this question?!) (it was Javier Sotomayor of Cuba btw)

When did…. WWII start.

 

What does it feel like to… get shot. (@blue-disco-lights Mickey must've hacked into my shit, as well.) Honestly, I'm sur[rised it didn't pop up with something crazier than this.

Can you… run it. And the sites associated with this search are IT/tech sites that tell you if you can run certain software on your machine.

When you… say nothing at all. And these two vids pop up side-by-side.

Same song, different versions. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why do… I owe taxes this year. LOL! I don't.

Is there a way… to unsend an email. The very first response is an AI generated summary of shit we already know: depends or your email provider & how long ago you sent it. Yeah, so shit, Sherlock.

How old do you have to be… to work. Not even dignifying that shit with a response.  

Where do the… Florida Panthers play. Again with stupid sports questions. i bame wifey for this. (Also, @blue-disco-lights nice Warriors reference! 😉)

What is the best time to… post on Instagram. I really couldn't care less.  

And to finish us off…. What comes up when you type in Shameless? Oh, nothing. Nothing at all...

***

I do believe everyone's been tagged on this. If you haven't please feel free to join & give a tag back.

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Thrift store Westerns I've never heard of part 2!

SHOOT FIRST AND PRAY YOU LIVE (Because Luck Has Nothing to Do With It) is an indie film from 2009 and winner of the independent spirit award at Santa Fe Film Festival, apparently. Wikipedia says it was based on the novel Luck by Max Brand. It's got everything! It's got maybe in fact too much going on! It's got split screen, it's got a brief animated sequence, it's got so many fucking flashbacks.

Opens with this, which I find very funny for some reason:

While we're on disclaimers, my quotations are summarized and not exact bc I am not going over ever few seconds of this movie. Also this movie is rated R so assume Yes for most common western content warnings.

Very GBU intro with about 10 seconds of empty street, a surprise close-up and then a tense shootout that we'll only have context for later. I hope.

The first real scene introducing our main character (Red Pierre) is a very gory shootout in a saloon. The shots themselves are fast and then we get a blow-by-blow of exactly where each of the 3 shots fired went. Lots of squirting blood from exploded arteries. I respect it but also was deliberately not looking at the screen too hard for like a solid 30 seconds or so lol. Red's first shot was shooting his opponent's thumb off, so he pulled a Silence a la The Great Silence. However in this case it was not simply a disabling move bc he did just keep shooting and murder those 2 guys. also. so. not sure what the point of that was.

Then he turns around and makes awkward eye contact with the only other guy who hasn't left the saloon, an old man who makes a high-pitched sound and goes 'I didn't see anything! Actually, no, I saw everything and you were totally in the right hahaha don't even worry about it....' Red asks if he has a horse and he stammers that he's got a burro and Red is welcome to take it. "My horse died, or I wouldn't ask," Red clarifies awkwardly, before escaping with the old man's burro. It's now night, Red frees a Mexican man whom some nasty gang members were hanging from a tree as a form of torture. Red waits at the tree, presumably waiting for these guys to show up so he can kill them? idk. He falls asleep immediately and wakes up being guarded by the daughter of the aforementioned gang leader.

fuckin womp womp sound effect plays as he realizes what happened. My guy what did you expect? Why did you go to sleep at the Local Asshole Gang's Designated Torture Tree?

STOP LOOKING SURPRISED YOU HAD TO KNOW THEY WERE COMING BACK.

Anyways the gang leader's son just got killed and then he saw Red and was like, oh yeah I hear he's killed people. Good enough! New son figure and new gang member to fill the empty seat at the table! (Everyone thinks this is a terrible idea, especially gun girl. Red is like 'you're right, what a terrible idea, I'll just... leave.... *gun pointed at him threateningly* ok or not or I'll just sit here I guess')

There's a bit where the camera zooms in on individual gang members and names them. There is no way I am remembering all 5 of these guys at once. The girl's name is Jack though. Cool. Her dad is a creep and does not seem to like her much He does, he just gets really weird dialogue. idk, I have mixed but not very coherent feelings about how Jack is handled in this movie like, generally. Anyways gang leader Jim Payne comments that Red is 'older than I thought, but young enough for what I want to make of you.' He then goes on a rant about how when he was Red's age he had a mentor who shaped him into the man he is now and he's going to be that person for Red.

Red is....

Deeply confused by all this?? but willing to roll with it for his own agenda. If the gang helps him out with some Mysterious Tasks he needs to accomplish, he'll join them willingly. Payne is delighted to hear it. The first task is burying Red's dead father. Everyone chews on some loco weed and gets high as shit before setting off on this long journey (except for Knife Guy, who I guess is loco enough without the weed and thus declines it.)

TWENTY YEARS AGO (we are getting an extended flashback)

Pierre's dad, who is now dead and needs to be buried, was having an affair with Red Pierre's mom. Bob McGurk and the other guys Red wants to revenge kill show up at his mom's house and shoot some guy and assault her. (I thought the guy they shot was her dad but eventually, in a later flashback, we find out it was just like. some other dude she happened to know, and that the killers thought it was Red's dad). She swears to kill them all and eventually manages to kill the sheriff, leaving 2 others for someone else to please take care of.

Red Pierre's dad simply can't, because he is wearing a sweater. He can't shoot no one! Not in a sweater! Despite his extended musings about what a terrible man he was and how he's going to hell, he's apparently just not a shooting man, thus letting his girlfriend be tortured by the local gang for months (yes this went on for Months before she managed to stab the sheriff.) He's also not a "raising my illegitimate son" type apparently, so he drops the kid off at a random Mexican mission to be raised by the friars.

the subtitles helpfully provide pronunciation. Also, THIS PLACE IS LIKE 900 MILES FROM THE BORDER? IS THIS WHOLE MOVIE TAKING PLACE FULLY INSIDE MEXICO (IF SO WHY IS ALMOST EVERYONE WHITE AND SPEAKING AMERICAN ACCENTED ENGLISH) AND IF NOT, DID THIS GUY RIDE 900 MILES TO DROP OFF THE KID HE DIDN'T WANT TO RAISE SOMEWHERE HE WOULD NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER FIND HIS WAY BACK???? WHAT'S HAPPENING. WHY ISN'T RED SPEAKING SPANISH IF HE WAS RAISED DEEP IN CENTRAL MEXICO. HOW DID WE GET HERE. HOW DID WE GET ANYWHERE. WHY ARE YOU SO INSISTENT ABOUT THIS SPECIFIC GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION THAT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. LIke don't get me wrong it's a very cool geographical location but what is happening.

Anyways, Red's dying mother whispered something (I thought it was her murderous plans but it will later be revealed that I was wrong about this) into his baby ears as he lay in her dying arms and now he's gotta go murder the bad guys that terrorized his mom but first must bury his illegitimate dad who was nice to his mom but did not protect her from the other guys and also did not claim or raise him bc the dad was married to some other unseen unnamed woman who is presumably also dead now I guess bc she's just not ever going to come up. Simple! I'm so confused. The priest who raised Red after he got yeeted 900 miles south into Mexico has a monologue about raising his beloved child and WAIT HOLY SHIT IT'S ANIMATED NOW. WE'RE HAVING AN ANIMATED SEQUENCE???

I swear to God I am not making this movie up. delightful. what is happening ever. anyways no wonder Red just goes "this might as well happen" about acquiring a new father figure in Payne, he has so many fuckingn dads already...

The priest is like 'yeah I didn't even try to raise him to be a good Christian I knew he was destined to be a total badass adn beat people the fuck up so I taught him to fight bobcats and grizzly bears and climb trees and catch fish with his teeth and shit. bc I'm cool'

The priest then coyly mentions that Pierre is too much of a badass in the boxing ring and nobody wants to fight him, so he uses him as a form of penance on sinners by making them box this violent child and get beat up.

THIS IS NOT THE SAME MAN? THIS IS NOT OUR GUY? DID HE LOSE ALL HIS PIGMENTATION AS HE MATURED. DID A GRIZZLY BEAR BITE ALL THE BROWN OUT OF HIS HAIR AND NOW IT'S RED? WHAT HAPPENED. THIS IS NOT A RED HAIRED BLUE EYED KID. IS OUR CURRENT GUY NOT RED PIERRE? IS HE ACTUALLY SOME OTHER DUDE? IS RED PIERRE (THE REAL ONE) GOING TO SHOW UP LATER??? WHAT'S HAPPENING. (This kid is a very good actor and a good fighter by the way, but he is not a good double for the guy he is allegedly the child version of.)

His opponent mumbles "que diablo" as he's getting knocked out with the most American pronunciation I've ever heard. I don't even know Spanish that well adn I can tell that's some extremely American Spanish. also

thank God we're free of the flashback. We've been here so long. No specific time given bc that would require me going back through this and I don't want to reexperience it.

...My theory about this flashback is it's showing us in realtime how Red's story becomes a legend (part of the intro featured a guy telling us and a bunch of children a story about The Legend Of Red Pierre so Storytelling is like, a Theme.) I guess? It would explain why current Red is kind of a sweet awkward quiet kid and flashback Red is Paul Bunyan if he was a ginger (but only sometimes.)

aww novice Red is so cute.

YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SHOW ME A MAP MONTAGE? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO REMIND ME OF THE 900 MILE DISTANCE BETWEEN YOUR STATED CURRENT SETTING AND WHERE THE REST OF THIS MOVIE SUPPOSEDLY TAKES PLACE? YOU WANT ME TO THINK ABOUT DISTANCE IN THIS MOVIE?? ARE YOU SURE

oh my god we get another different flashback about Red's mom Irene now and. His dad fully was there the day that the gang killed that other guy and assaulted her. he had a gun. he had the drop on them. he... ran awayyy! It haunted him. Finally, years later, he took his gun and went to shoot McGurk, who shot him instead. that's how we ended up here, Red still has 2 guys left to kill for his parents. I've now heard this story like 19 times and it gets slightly more complicated and yet somehow less interesting every time.

Red's batshit crazy rogue priest daddy is ok with the revenge and gives him a???? Cursed crucifix??? that will bring blessings to him and evil to others?????? What's happening. I was raised Catholic I did not get any magical amulets like this

ok so we're caught up. Red killed one of the 2 guys in the first big shootout of the movie, his dad was the guy getting shot in the intro. Jack joins the men officially as part of the gang. We are now getting backstory for some random gang member whom I do not care about.

Blessedly this was a short flashback. he used to be a blacksmith before he went axe crazy, or more accurately hammer crazy, with a hammer. I think he had some reason but I couldn't understand the dialogue in that bit so who knows.

OH NO ANOTHER GANG MEMBER IS GOING TO TELL HIS LIFE STORY NOW... IS THIS GOING TO BE THE WHOLE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE? PEOPLE TAKING TURNS TALKING ABOUT THE VIOLENCE THEY'VE DONE? wait a minute. false alarm. the next guy starts his story but is INTERRUPTED! By McGurk dramatically showing up. Ok fine that was funny. you got me.

anyways McGurk wants Red dead. what a shock. oh god another flashback PLEASE DO NOT ZOOM IN ON MCGURK PULLING HIS WIENER OUT PLEASE GOD

I do like the period accurate costuming in this movie. buttons yes. can I be done here? can the movie be over here? we're not even halfway in how can I endure this.

anyways. Red and McGurk have a showdown and fire simultaneously, each wounding the other. The other gang is delighted by this as the previously untouchable McGurk being wounded means his charm is broken. He can be killed! Eventually. (?)

The storyteller from the beginning of the movie comes back and tells us that McGurk disappeared for 2 years and that Red did lots of exciting stuff during that time but we're not going to get into all that right now. He also mentions that Red has the gang working with him while McGurk has 'always been a lone wolf'. This is straight up incorrect, as we had to see at least 3 painfully long flashbacks of McGurk and his 2-3 (I forgot) cronies shooting Red's mom Irene's friend full of holes and assaulting her. As a group! He did in fact have help before, if maybe not now. anyways. I shouldn't try to logic this movie.

The kids go to a masquerade. It's cute. Jack is enjoying the dress but worries it'll compromise her tough butch persona if the boys find out. Red promises not to tell anyone. There's a trippy extended rewind sequence that shows, everything playing in reverse, that McGurk, now wearing an eyepatch, has been stalking them all day, and then a completely unnecessary but in parts very funny sequence where McGurk gets a shave and the barber gossips to him about his backstory , providing a couple details we hadn't known but that I don't think matter much. 'now I never even seen a picture of McGurk, but they say he was an unnatural looking man, with a face you'd never forget,' says the barber, dabbing shaving cream onto McGurk's face. lol. It gets to be too much when the barber implies that McGurk dragged himself off into the wilderness and died somewhere, never to be heard of again. McGurk, very alive, pulls out his gun and asks if Red is still alive, and where to find him, thus bringing us back to before the masquerade, though first we must get ANOTHER flashback showing that McGurk did indeed drag himself off into the wilderness and ALMOST die, and he spent the whole time thinking about how much he hated Red.

Then there's a bit from I guess before the masquerade in which one of the gang members gets jittery over one of the others not showing up on time and tells Red he's bad luck, despite Jim Payne's argument that he's brought them nothing but good luck for these past 2 years. Red and the complainer square up for a duel and the other gang members go wait outside. We get some split screen of inside and outside the building:

It's fun but I'm not sure why it needed to happen. The complainer decides to just Not today and slinks off, but Jim mumbles that the other gang members will have to pick sides and a breakup is coming. We exit split screen. Then for no discernible reason we re-enter split screen.

Split screen gives us 2 slightly different shots of the same porch scene for a very funny and confusing moment, then McGurk steps into view in one shot while the gang doesn't notice him in the other. He shoots Jim Payne, Rodrigo and I think that's hammer guy? I think he killed the other non-complainer gang member earlier but the 2 guys sitting outside were shooting at a wasp and therefore didn't hear his shots, which happened at the same time? That section was confusing.

Ok NOW we're back up to the masquerade, and we have to watch a bunch of the same shots again. No wonder this movie is nearly 2 hours, it's mostly repetition, a lot of it of the same couple of flashbacks. Anyways, McGurk shows up at the masquerade, threatens Red, dances with Jack. Red gets knocked unconscious by someone and wakes up tied to a post in the middle of nowhere.

Oh look, Chollas! That places this movie as taking place in the Sonoran Desert, so somewhere in Arizona, southern American California, parts of Nevada or New Mexico, Baja California (unlikely) or northwestern Mexico. Filming apparently took place in New Mexico. You will notice that zero of these places are ANYWHERE near the one SPECIFICALLY NAMED location with title card and everything, TzinTzunTzan Mexico. No I'm not done being annoying about this I'm never done. Does anyone know how distances work?

Anyways. Red is tied up, concussed and dehydrated. The complainer from the gang shows up and mocks him. It was he who kidnapped Red! And now he's going to kill him. But fairly, of course. He'll give Red a weapon--he places it in his left hand and leaves him tied up, of course. And I am going to turn on captions for these because I need you to see that I'm not making this dialogue up oh my God.

"Because I face my challenges head-on! Like a train going down the tracks! I love trains. ...Robbing... trains."

Red shoots the complainer, whose name I will never not mishear as Gandalf (it's Gandall or something?) and then Some Guy happens along to find Red. I'm pretty sure this is the same guy he freed from being tied to a tree at the start of the movie but I'm not sure. The guy comments 'it's only fair' as he releases Red, so maybe I'm right? It's not super obvious if they recognize each other or not. He does threaten Red a bit first before freeing him. idk.

Anyways I think this man is hot and watching him playfully mess with Red a bit before releasing him was the closest I've come to sexualizing anyone in this movie. Mostly I have been too confused and haven't cared about anyone enough.

Red, now freed, finds McGurk McLurking over his mother's grave and yells at him to get away from it, furious. They have a showdown. Red shoots McGurk's gun hand, then drops his own gun and dares McGurk to try to pick his up faster. McGurk doesn't move. Red mocks him, then finally tells him that there would be no satisfaction in killing him like this, even though Red could, and to get out. McGurk leaves his gun, throws his belt of ammunition in Red's general direction and skedaddles. A flashback reveals that Irene told Red's presumed father whom he buried in the beginning of the movie that McGurk was the young Red's father (I did wonder about that. But also how did she know? Red was redhaired like his father. Well I guess his non-father was more blond but like. He definitely doesn't look like McGurk. And all those creeps had their way with her so like. how do we... know... that it's him.... in particular. None of these guys had red hair also. except maybe his dad who wasn't his dad.) but anyways... in Red's non-dad's one moment of bravery, he picked up baby Red, saw McGurk McLurking outside, and shouted 'the boy's mine. Get out!' at him. And McGurk actually McLeft. In the present, once again, he runs away from Red. an interesting ending, though I'm not sure I'd call it a satisfying one--maybe if it was more "Red is sticking to his moral principles of not killing where avoidable" was more of a Thing up to this point, but like, Red has killed a bunch of people and not seemed to mind joining the outlaw gang and presumably doing a bunch of crime with them for 2 years. So. idk??

It's then revealed via, surprise, ANOTHER FLASHBACK that Red had given the magical cross amulet thing to Jack before their dance and so has been winning these last fights with his own skill and no luck, which is a fun reveal I guess. It then cuts to Jack who has been caught and tied up by bandits though, so like, I guess the cross does not work at all bc that is just some real bad luck for her. So. What was the point of any of this?

The movie ends there. No explanation of what's going on with Jack. We do not see her get rescued. I don't even know who those guys that tied her up are. We've never seen them before. What the fuck is happening. ROLL CREDITS!

Ok thoughts: idk interesting movie. I didn't feel strongly about it. I think it's clear the people making it were having a lot of fun so that's cool. Red was kind of a fun character, especially when he's awkward and dorky. Very lovable. However his motivations and general morality are an enigma to me. For a guy who has that much exposition about him I'm really very confused about what's going on with him, which does not seem like it should be possible at this point.

Jack was potentially a fun character but I feel her dad was so weird about her gender while I didn't have a solid grip on how she felt about it herself. It's implied that she has to be a man to join the gang and her dad allows it as long as she dresses masc and shoots guns but views her as neither man nor woman. Potentially fun concept.. I really wish we didn't end the movie with a casual non sequitur of her getting attacked by some random dudes. Do we not have enough women experiencing violence in this movie already. It's in every fuckign western I watch and I am just so tired of it.

idk. I think Red should've shot McGurk. It's not like he was Not shooting anyone else. Why would he shoot all those other guys and NOT McGurk. Maybe he thinks it's crueller to make him live knowing that he had to run away from Red. idk. Also why did we have those two (and a half? there's a brief moment where he talks to someone in a saloon?) sequences of the storyteller talking about the legend of Red Pierre? What did that add?

I did like some of the humor in this movie. Generally I think it was rather incoherent but had some fun along the way. Maybe too much, to a confusing degree. I also liked the costuming and how dusty and greasy everyone looks.

I feel like maybe the characterization was clearer in the book but falls flat or just seems confusing in a movie... this is just a theory though.

Anyways. Unexpected parallels between this movie and the other western I'd never heard about before finding it at a thrift store and making a tumblr post about, Gallowwalkers:

-Some kind of secret society of magical wizards which is vaguely Catholicism-flavored and described as a religious order despite having absolutely nothing to do with real world Catholicism

-Older, morally questionable gunfighter notices a conventionally attractive younger white boy and immediately goes "that's my new boy. I'm adopting him. Boy, hello, I am your new mentor, whether you want one or not. Come shoot people with me." In both cases it's so weird and flat and confusing that I don't even ship it, despite being a known freak and Wanting to...

-generally confusing movie. Too much going on that is never fully explained and yet the stuff that is explained gets too wordy.

Anyways I skipped through the credits to the end looking for some explanation of the ending and did get this:

To be continued?? you thought you were going to make another one of these? well that explains the ending I guess. oh well.

There actually WAS also a brief funny stinger of the shopkeeper whom Red and Jack held up and told to lie on the floor and count to 5000 reaching 4998 and going "To hell with this" and getting up. lol.

[mooncrack]

A couple hours passed and it's now lunch. Your still on his mind is some shape way or form. But he is now sitting at lunch outside with his boys. Price and Ghost are smoking while Soap is just yapping around

"OooOoOoh! Did you hear about the new exchange student-! The fresh blood-!"

"Johnny. Don't refure to the new student as fresh blood."

"Shup up, Ghost nobody cares. Anyways they seem PERFECT for a little prankkkk~"

"God, you with your stupid little pranks."

"Womp womp, you gonne cry about it?"

"Guys, calm down."

"Okay, dad." Both Ghost and Soap say at the same time. But Gaz is more focused on what he said before. "They seem perfect for a little prank." Oh. Hell. No. Gaz, wants to win them over and know that enemies to lovers only happends in fiction.

"Leave them alone Soap, there nice"

"OooOoOoh~ does mister handsome have a crush on the new foreign student~?"

"I DON'T. They helped me acsualy understand math, so I'm thinking about convincing them to tutor me for free."

"Wow, they acsualy made you understand math?!? This is a moment in history"

"Oh, go fuck yourself"

"Gladly. But I guess I'll leave them alone for now. But you defenetly have a crush on them"

"Johnny Mactavish I SWEAR TO GOD-"

Meanwhile you where chilling in a corner, head phones on. Reading a book your intredted in. You haven't made friends yet, with you exspected. Your fine on your own. You have gotten picked on a couple times, for your accent, or the way you dress. But nobody here could compeat to what your old school use to say. So your at peace, just reading. Nobody seems to try and come over and pick on you or anything. Weird. Break are the perfect time for bulling. Atleast at my old school.

You look up from your book and look around. There are groups of people loudly talking, some pointing at you and giggling. Wow they don't even have the guts to come up to you.

Pussies.

Little did you know that Gaz as you've leard people called him, would shoot death glares at anybody who would get close to you to pick on you. And this just Confirms to the 141 that he is 100% inlove with you. Price had it's doubts at first, but the feath stares dom't leave any doubts. They know he has been single for way to long. To the point Soap was talking about setting him up with one of the simps. But know, they could play cupid with somebody he acsualy likes.

The 141 likes to play cupido with there m̶e̶m̶b̶e̶r̶s̶ friends. They did it with both Price and Lasswell before. And know they can do it for Gaz.

And he has picked his suter.

You.

And there not gonna ruin that for him.

Nonononono.

There going to help him.

A couple weeks have passed and you've sort of setteld in. Also this uniform if ugly and very much uncomfortable, It could be worse. You and Gaz have grown closer. No friends. More like mutuals. But he is 100% the person your the closest with. He's been kind enough to exsplain the unwrithen rules here (lets be honest every school has them)

there is also this nother boy named Philips who is from america and moved here last year. It was obvius that he was from america sinds he's loud and his thick southen accent gives it away within seconds.

But he told you about a group called 141. At first you were confused, but then he exsplained it. And color you shocked when you hear that Kyle. The guy I'm sorta friends with and help with math, is in there. Oh, so maybe thats why you haven't been picked on- damn this school is full of pussies. Back home they didn't care about your statuse. A easy victim is a easy victim. But I'm getting of track. There is aperently MUTIBUL of these kinna groups and they all do NOT get along. Maybe this is kinna the same as back home-

there is the Shadow's and the Konni's. Weird ass names. But when you ask for more info, he won't give any up, because

"Look, just stay away from any of the groups. You'll know if there apart of one of them you see them"

Bitch. Maybe Kyle can give you more info about the Shadow's and Konni's...

-------------------------------------------------------

Hallo. I finnish this in school and there was no proof reading so it's exstra shitty. And sorry it's so long, but the first draft was SO univentfull for me. Anyways, I hope y'all enjoyed and if you have any tips or sugestions feel free to comment them^^ (just don't correct my spelling)

Ps: tumblr won't allow me to comment, so hold on while I fix that

Doei!

[batesmotelofficial]

comic con diaries

Norman bates edition

..

SOMEBODY SOLD A PIN

WITH MY BUISNESS ON IT

IM FAMOUS-

...

I had to let a little nerd with a blue box hold mother while I talked to somebody

I didn't agree with that

..

Ash Williams was there

He didn't know what was good

...

I also met papa emeritus 3

Thought he was dead

Womp womp

..

Got books

Cant read

..

Got a poster

I love it

It has a cat on it

..

And vhs tapes

I don't own a vhs player

..

Mother enjoyed it

I let her walk around for a while

(Aka she knocked me out in the bathroom and forcefully took over)

..

This random named the doctor almost got exterminated by a robot

Little nerd deserved it

..

And moon knight

I love moon knight.

[youredreamingofroo]

The Family Tree of Roo

Now that I've posted pretty much the entire family, here's the family tree :) I still have some characters to make, notably: Sean, Evan and Josey I'm thinking of doing Mateo and Noah, but I'm not sure... 🤔

Clarifications that weren't obvious (or were) that I wanted to make clear under the cut, as well as mentions of death, custody court cases, and just bad parenting. Also it gets long

And if you've looked at the tags in my pinned post, you'll notice a few new names not listed in the family tree or that haven't been mentioned in Roo's story, so to clarify: The Roo-seum's intent was to show off his story, while I could've (and should've) included stories like him going to Sweden for Deli, I didn't... and that's a me thing because I actually hadn't developed that much of the story at that point, but I still don't think I would've included it in the Roo-seum, because it's about him, and his story, and also he didn't even know his siblings that well, sure, I could've included Jordy in his story, but I didn't, womp womp.

Some other things to clarify, language and origins:

Virginia is Swedish, but lived in the US with her parents, so she does not know Swedish that well. Reese is not fully Swedish, but has Swedish blood, his blood has traces of DNA from all over the Scandinavia area, and Swedish is the highest presenting. Roo and Jordy are Swedish, Jordy, for whatever reason, does not look like her parents at all, and they still aren't sure why, a DNA test proved she was Swedish, and was their child. Devan and Deli are Swedish, Devan speaks primarily Swedish, and speaks broken English, relying on (previously) Roo and (now) Jordy, however he is very passionate about linguistics (as mentioned in his post), so he wants to learn about languages, learn new languages and become fluent in English. Deli is fluent in both Swedish and English, Roo taught her most of her English and Virginia taught her some English when she visited, and Deli was able to fill in the dots for English herself. Juno is a Swede-Spaniard, she's fluent in Spanish and English, although her Spanish speaking skills are slowly becoming more and more rusty as Mateo progressively speaks more English to her.

Age, death and relationships:

Virginia and Reese met in High School, and were inseparable since than, eventually beginning to date when she was 18, and he was 20, and Virginia ended up pregnant with Jordy after one special night Virginia had Jordy when she was 20, and Reese was 24 Reese died August 5th, 1995 at the age of 31, a couple months before Roo was born, Jordy was almost 7 years old at the time, and Virginia was 29 years old Reese's cause of death is unknown (aka undetermined, haven't chosen what it should be yet) After Reese died, Virginia spiraled and began having hookups with guys, one of which was Noah Blom, who, after finding out she was pregnant, decided to stay by her side to care for the child, although regardless, Virginia was determined unable to care for the child, and Noah was to take care of Devan, Virginia co-parented on the sidelines and Noah and her continued to date. After one night, however, she completely vanished, leaving Noah, she didn't tell him anything other then that she was off for work. 9 months later, on Feb 16, 2009, she returned to Sweden, to Noah, to hand over her second child of his, Deliahna, to which he was disgusted and perturbed, he couldn't believe she held back such a lie from him, breaking up with her right then and there, however he was still required to take care of Deli, with Virginia co-parenting, and so he did (a terrible job at taking care of my baby Deli). Virginia moved to Spain after a while, to pursue something new and get away from Sweden, which reminded her so much of Reese and what she thought was the cause for her irregular pattern of depression, having another hookup with a man, named Mateo García, they separated shortly after, but it didn't take long for her to come back to him with a pregnancy test that said positive, and where he was elated, she was heartbroken, another child of hers, cursed to a life of no mother, she just wanted one child she could care for, so when it came around for the custody court case, she tried to prove that she was capable of caring for a child, but she was still not allowed to keep custody over Juno, and Mateo gladly took over parenting for Virginia while she recovered, with occasional visits to/for Juno, Mateo and Virginia didn't pursue anything, they felt no attraction to each other, but were glad to co-parent (even though internally Virginia was furious, wishing she could just be the main parent).

If I can think of anymore things that need to be clarified, I will add them later :).

[kaleidoscope1967eyes]

how do you think luke would be with pets?

Thanks for the ask, anon! I don't know if any canon or legends material really touches on this, which is such a shame because I think he would be so good with animals!

Luke has always been a fan of all sorts of creatures. As a little boy on Tatooine, he loved playing with and riding his friend Windy's dewback. He did have a pet of his own growing up: the Lars family owned a spotted sandhound named, you guessed it, Sandy. Even though she was an old girl, Luke would always run around the farm with her and try to teach her tricks, and she'd always do her best to keep up with him.

Sandy was extremely protective of him, to the point where it cost her life; when he was around thirteen years old, a group of womp rats ambushed him while he was tending to some moisture vaporators, and she immediately rushed in to take all the fatal blows. It was absolutely devastating, but in a rare moment of vulnerability, Owen used the situation to teach Luke about the inevitability of loss and the importance of appreciating those you love in the moment--a skill that would ultimately be very relevant to his jedi training.

On the topic of jedi training, animals are naturally drawn to him due to his strong presence in the force. Sometimes this means an entire flock of jubba birds will land on him and all start singing, other times it means large, predatory creatures will locate him very easily and try to eat him. Luke absolutely hates fighting or attacking animals. He is forever haunted by the time he literally disarmed a wampa--he was only trying to scare it away, he didn't mean for it to actually make contact with his lightsaber. You remind him that even though he didn't have a choice, he still did the right thing by giving it a chance to live.

I know I've talked about this before, but Luke would be a total horse girl (boy). He's great with dewbacks and he's great with tauntauns, so he would definitely also be great with equinoids like pulgas, orbaks, and guarlaras. Even though horses are usually extra skittish around men, they're perfectly fine around him because they can sense just how kind and gentle he is. They especially appreciate that he's intuitive and empathetic enough to know never to raise his voice or make sudden movements around them.

After noticing Luke's knack for critters, you decide to get him a pet of his own. You end up getting him a rescue tooka cat you found in a shelter at Mos Espa: it's a playful, snuggly orange tabby that's missing its right paw. What a strange coincidence, you thought, gently picking it up. Luke deserves to know he's not alone.

When Luke came back to your shared quarters on Home One and saw a kitty on his bed, he was ecstatic. He literally started crying--thankfully, you had R2 there to record his reaction. Because you found it on Tatooine, Luke decided to call it "Lars" in honor of his family. They end up doing everything together: he goes to briefings with Lars stretched out on his shoulders, they go on joyrides in his x-wing together, etc. People get a huge kick out of how close they are--"guy who blew up the Death Star crying over a cat" ends up becoming a huge meme in the Rebellion.

Tagging: (comment if you want to be tagged or you want me to stop tagging you)

@stonegoldsxcrxt

@laserbrains

@fandom-gal44

@myevilmouse

@hansonveggieclub

@lex-the-flex

@ancient-stardust

@dailydragon08 (happy birthday!)

@spacesurfing

@starobi

@starryluce

@hxney-lemcn

@lukefics

@demigoddessqueens

@micheleamidalajedi

@princessxkenobi

[alphys-kissy-cutie]

Alphys Kissy Cutie Masterpost

MAIN STORY

Pages 1-15 / 16-19 / 20-23 / 24-27 / 28-31 / 32-35 / 36-Miku / 40-43 / 44-47

BONUS COMICS

Alphys Quits Her Job

More info below

Glad to see you here! I started planning this comic in July of 2023 due to not wanting my dream comic to be my first comic. This was supposed to be a short story, but... it's not going to be that anymore. I planned too much. I had too many ideas. I got too invested in the characters. Womp womp.

This comic is hand-drawn. This is because OK KO does this too and it looks funny. I color this digitally though, you can't make me buy a million colored pencils or markers. This is also going to be a big learning experience for me to draw things that aren't just characters. Bear with me, alphygoers.

I'll be updating with multiple pages every Sunday! I'm currently experimenting with what time works the best, but right now I'm trying out 12:00 PM MDT.

MAIN CHARACTERS THAT HAVE APPEARED SO FAR

Alphys

Did you know she's in this comic? I sure didn't. This came to me as a surprise. Alphys is a teacher at Toriel's school on the surface (this takes place around a year after Undertale's pacifist route). However, she got hit by a bus and ended up in the setting of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie! Uh oh! How tragic! Isn't that tragic?

Rouxls Kaard

Rouxls was hit by a bus, so he's here too. He suddenly showed up with hopes of teaming up with our nerd emoji of a protagonist. Cool.

Mew Mew Clowder

The leader of the Kissy Cuties. Overly cutesy and outgoing. Reminiscent of Raku-chan from Nyan Neko Sugar Girls.

Natsuko Mischief-Scurry

15-year-old magical squirrel of the Kissy Cuties. They fly around and weild an energy spear. They seem really bitter.

Youmu Mischief-Scurry

Purple-haired rat magical girl with a giant hammer. She's a lot quieter than the other Kissy Cuties and does things of her own accord.

Midori Ostentation

Peacock magical girl with robot limbs and brass knuckles. Outgoing and overall glamorous.

AND NOW, A LITTLE LESS THAN MAIN

Undyne

Undyne's running around jobless on the surface. She's living with Alphys and mooching off of her lmao

Papyrus

He's the one running around with Undyne the majority of the time.

Sans

sans.

Mettaton

The idol everyone craves! He lives in a huge ass mansion now and has made more of a name for himself.

LINKS TO OTHER COOL WEBCOMICS

This is a list of webcomics I've been reading recently or ones that were a big inspiration to my story. You should really check them out. They're great.

Starscale

This is my best friend's WIP comic! We've been developing them side-by-side for a long time now, so they're basically sister comics. The child version of the main character (Zoey) actually appears on page 7 of my comic... Also, the art and character design is really cool and detailed! No pages are out yet, but when they are, they will be at @/starscalecomic

Twin Runes

This comic was a major inspiration for me to make an UTDR comic of my own (I'm worried my masterpost looks too much like theirs lmao). This is an UTDR crossover that's pretty funny and has a really cool art style to boot. You're more likely to know about it than this comic, but on the off-chance you don't, you can read it at @/akanemnon

Forgettable

A comic based on the Papyrus is Gaster theory! The story's really cool, Alphys is there, the art's really great and expressive... it's awesome! Once again, it's very possible you've already seen it, but if not, it's at @/forgettable-au

Gaster's Return

Another fancomic with Alphys and amazing art! It's about Gaster coming back after the pacifist route. Flowey's also really awesome and expressive lol. You can read it at @/gastersreturn

[blu3-1mp0st0r-v2]

"Hmm... Seeing the bomberdrones murderding bombermen is quite... Concerning...

But... At the same time... I am interested on what their purposes are... And why they are made..."

me: oo another question! well, to answer your question it's all because Mighty over here decided to KILL SHADOW BOMBER.

Mighty: I didn't know he was the one thing that kept the Bomberdrones away from us!

me: well womp womp Mighty! also just some extra Bomberdrones lore when I first discovered Bomberman through one of the newer games I was also a murder drones fan so I kinda wanted to make a bomberman oc that was half murder drone, their name's Serial Designation. and that oc is the reason why the Bomberdrones comic exists!

Mighty: again, you avoided the question-

Me: no I didn't.