#also i agree w/ your main point
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protect | ÂˇË ŕź spencer reid ,,
summary - you get badly injured on a case, and the hospital visit ruins your surprise.
genre - fem!bau!reader x spencer, hurt/comfort, little bit of angst and arguing, fluff, happy ending!! reader can bear children (has female anatomy)
warnings - pregnancy, major injuries, mentions of gross hospital things, r uses she/her pronouns, usual criminal minds violences
w/c - 2.2k
a/n - thank u for the request! loved the idea immediately and this is the first time iâm writing abt pregnancy and stuff so pls do not quote me on anything!!! also this writing isnât my best, sorry abt that. okay bye have fun reading
request - (@ursuu-la) hihihi idk if you're taking requests, but what if u write something where Spencer and a fem reader are dating and she's pregnant, but she's kinda scared(? or nervous to tell Spencer. And maybe she could tell it to one of the girls of the team to find a way of approaching Reid, but then she gets hurt or something happens to her in a case.
âOh. My. God.â
You turned your attention from the open manila folder to Garciaâs multiple screens, searching each one for something important, âWhat?â
âY/n M/n Reid. Youâre pregnant?â Garcia spun in her chair with an angry expression while pointing a ringed finger at the main computer screen. It was your medical history - which you allowed her to search so she could experiment with a new hacking technique - but you had forgotten about your recent discovery.
Your hand was clamped over your mouth as you stared in shock and started rambling through your fingers, âGarcia. I swear, nobody knows - I wasnât keeping this from just you,â you placed your hands on her shoulders when she stood up in disappointment, sending her office chair to collide with the desk, âSpencer doesnât even know, please Garcia. Donât tell anyone.â
Your eyes searched hers for a promise or compromise, but instead you got welling tears.
âGarcia?â
âY/n, your pregnant with a little Reid! This is amazing- How come you havenât told him? Iâll have a new little nephew or niece! Y/n!â She squealed and took your hands to spin you in a circle in her small office. You immediately felt nauseous and slowed the excited girl, her hair accessories threatening to fall off in her happiness. You held your stomach and whispered,
âNo spinning, Iâll throw up.â
She glanced to her computer screens and shut them down immediately, sitting back down and taking a deep breath. âThis is great! Right? Please tell me this is great, youâre already 6 weeks pregnant.â
You bit your lip and nodded, âI mean, I think itâs great but..â You lost yourself in thought.
Last year when you and Spencer got married, you had talked about starting a family many times. But every time you both agreed to wait a few more years in order to save up more money and maybe move into a bigger apartment or even a house. This was not what you planned.
Spencer liked having a plan, it was one thing you grew to love. He was organised and, due to his amazing memory, remembered everything, especially everything about you. And though you two had grown so close you were basically one person, this was the only time you had no idea how Spencer would react if he found out your secret.
âI donât know how to tell Spencer.â
Garcia grinned, but it was quickly wiped away when she noticed a certain figure in the doorway. You spun on your heel, heart attacking your ribs. Luckily, it was not your husband, but your boss. He stood sternly and started, âWeâve got a case, wheels up in 30.â
You nodded and turned back to Garcia, all she did was wave and whisper, âIâll text you.â
In the plane, you sat next to Spencer in the aisle seat, stomach feeling queasy and phone vibrating non-stop in your back pocket. You pinched the bone between your eyebrows and squinted at the case files that Hotch had quickly gone over. Morgan was spilling some theories, Prentiss backing him up, when Spencer lowered his head and whispered in your ear, âAre you okay? You seem tired.â
You put on a small smile and nodded, the fact that Spencer had noticed something wrong meant that the rest of the team would notice soon too. You raised yourself and squeezed Spencerâs hand that had been in your lap. You murmured a small excuse me to Hotch and excused yourself to the planeâs toilet.
Spencer began to get worried for your health. The past week and a half, youâd been eating less and then more, and then youâd say you felt sick, and then you were full of energy. You cancelled plans, you slept more, and you had started avoiding Spencer. You were getting sick, and distant, and he hated how you wouldnât let him help you whenever he asked. He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head slightly, attempting to focus on the profile.
Sat on the toilet, ready to double over into the bathroom sink, you pulled out your phone and scrolled through Garcias texts.
What about a baby onesie with Daddyâs favourite child on it?
What about a candle lit dinner?
What about donuts that spell out âIâm Pregnant!â
Iâve seen people purposefully burn bread and wait until their husbands understand, maybe that?
Maybe. But right now, that was not what you wanted to think about. On top of the case and the whole pregnancy situation, your symptoms were becoming harder to conceal.
A whole day of analysis, interrogating, leads and dead ends led you to a one story run down house with broken windows and an overgrown yard. You threw the FBI bullet vest over your shoulders as Spencer approached you with a tight smile. His hair was shorter these days, after he finally let you start cutting it, but nothing could change his attractiveness. His cologne wafted into your senses as he went behind you, tightening your vest and patting your back and waist down to make sure you were at optimal safety.
You could almost imagine he knew you were pregnant.
âRemember, if heâs in there, keep your distance. Heâs a big guy but silent, and not all there.â He furrowed his eyebrows as he did a last check over of your vest, belt, and the position of your gun. You smiled and nodded,
âI know, Spence. Iâve been here too.â
He sighed and nodded, placing a small kiss on your cheek as a good luck.
You were married, but there was no guarantee youâd both make it out of any case. Every movement could be your last, and every interaction could be your last together.
Morgan slipped through the door after a man picked the front doors lock, Prentiss behind him and you behind her. After you, followed Hotch and Spencer.
âClear!â Morgan called from the kitchen. You turned right down a hallway, Prentiss disappearing into a small room on the right and yelling,
âClear!â
You entered the small bedroom, gun high and steps careful. It was an adults bedroom, maybe a teenager. There was posters of horror movies, a thin mattress on the floor and shelves of books and wooden cupboard holding what you believed to be clothes.
âClea-â
The wind got knocked out of you, your shoulder colliding with the wall to your left and a sharp handle being jabbed into your side, as you plummeted against the floor and hearing a loud thump and shattering glass beside you. Miniscule, rainbow, dots clouded your vision, the adrenaline and the concussion you were sure you had numbing the pain coursing through your veins. You screamed in pain, Hotch entering almost immediately.
You lifted your right arm to point out the window, the glass shattered from where the unsub had escaped.
Spencer entered the room in a rush, eyes running over the fallen cupboard that would've been taller than the both of you, and then your small body in the corner. You held out your arm for him, and he placed his hands under your armpits, jolting back when you screeched in pain. "Y/n, your..." His eyes widened in shock and fear at the sight of your dislocated shoulder. Your right hand clutched to your left side - no doubt trying to comfort a massive bruise or worse.
He gulped, helping you up and throwing your good arm around his shoulders. The sudden movements blanked your vision for a few moments, a small lump forming on the front left side of your temple, and your legs trembled in the sudden need to hold yourself up. "Y/n, we just need to get you to the ambulance, alright?" Spencer told you reassuringly. He didn't know how much you could understand, your eyes were cloudy and your movements spaghetti-like, but he continued to reassure you anyways.
The paramedics set into action as soon as they saw your near limp body strung across Spencer's taller build. You were placed in the ambulance on a bed and before you knew it, there was a heavy clamp on your finger and two paramedics touching you and saying unexplainable things to each other. A short one with a beard came close to your vision, obvious aware it was still slightly blurred, "Agent Y/n. We need to take your shirt off in order to fix your shoulder okay? We need to pop it back in as quick as we can."
All you could do is nod, Spencer making most of the choices for you as your husband - he wouldn't put you through something he knew you would disagree with. They asked him questions, and while the voices came in and out of focus, the adrenaline was wearing off and suddenly your senses heightened. "Is she pregnant?"
The question rolled off the paramedics tongue like a rehearsed poem, and Spencer shook his head like there was no possible way you were. But as you saw needles being prepared, your heart started pounding so fast it got the attention of the professionals. "Y/n, are you still with us?"
To Spencer, you looked like you had just woken up to a bad dream, but there was something deeper - you were not unconcious, if anything you looked alert.
"I'm pregnant." The paramedics glanced at each other and Spencer's eyes widened. The one with the needle placed it down carefully on a table, and before you knew it, you were being pushed through hallways and into a awfully bright room.
You passed out, fear and exaustion catching up to you. But Spencer couldn't sleep. On top of the fact that his wife had just gotten her shoulder dislocated and then fixed, and a slight rib fracture, she was also pregnant.
Spencer doubted for the first half hour of waiting for you to wake up that you actually were. You were saying nonsense, you were injured and the adrenaline... usually causes people to tell the truth. He paced and went over everything that had been happening. The change in your behaviour, the tiredness, the sickness. It was all coming together like a puzzle, and he wondered why he didn't realise sooner.
"Spence?" A small voice called out, and he approached the hospital bed almost immediately.
"Y/n." Spencer smiled in relief, overjoyed that you were alright and breathing. He knew you'd be fine, but anything can be unpredictable. Anyone can be unpredictable. "I'm so glad you're okay."
"What happened?" You tried to sit up but Spencers soft hands encouraged you to stay laying down.
"The unsub pushed a cabinet at you. You collided with the wall and dislocated your shoulder." He explained softly, the doctors told him that the specific pain killers they gave you may cause some loopiness. "Oh." You whispered, eyes searching his face like you had never seen it before, and you smiled. You were here, and he was here, and you needed nothing more. Other than more pain killers.
Spencer bit his lip, and sighed, not sure if it was the right time to bring the blindside up at that moment.
"Y/n, darling, are you... pregnant?"
The small grin wiped off your face and you took some deep breaths, nodding and avoiding his gaze in fear of rejection. Spencer sighed, and pushed his hair away from his face, a smile rising onto his cheeks. Tears welled in his eyes from happiness. "This is great, this is... wow Y/n, I can't believe.." He gulped, "I can't believe you didn't tell me sooner."
Confusing his disbelief for anger, tears started dropping down your cheeks as you sat in silence. Spencer started to worry, "Do you... not want to have a baby with me? Or at all? Do you think I won't be a good father? I know that I've had my problems in the past but I promise I can be a good father-"
"Spencer." You called his name in shock, heart aching over his insecure questions. "I do want a baby, especially one with you. And I don't think you'll be a good father, I know you'll be a great one. I just," you wiped your cheeks and he sat down in a chair beside your bed, taking your hand in his. "I'm scared. I thought that you wouldn't want to have one right now because of our... plan. This is really early and we didn't get to save- and- I thought you'd be mad-" You had started blubbering now, the heart monitor becoming a ticking time bomb for a full on breakdown, before Spencer took your face in his hands and smashed your lips onto his.
He pulled back, smile wide, eyes full of adoration and sorrowfullness.
"Y/n, I don't care about that plan anymore. And I'm not mad." He searched your eyes with his, "I just wished you told me earlier. Maybe you wouldn't have been injured, because god knows I wouldn't have let you go out into the field."
"Spencer, I'm so sorry." You sniffled, placing your other hand on top of his.
"Oh, darling. You don't have to be sorry. I've made my injured and pregnant wife cry, I should be sorry."
You giggled, and leant forward to kiss him on the nose. "So it's really okay?"
"Of course. You just have to heal quickly, and I'll do all the rest."
taglist (open!!) - @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es @0108s22m
#criminal minds#spencer reid#cm#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid oneshot#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x yn#spencer reid x fem!reader#đľ ââ piaâs pages
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ateez as royals who fall for you (hyung line)
read maknae line here
genre: royalty!ateez x fem!reader, fluff, angst, smut, crack, a brainrot and smutfest of royal tropes
length: 12.8k
c/w: very nsfw scenes - mdni, explicit language (dirty talk, swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, heavy & mature themes (sex work, murder, assassination, execution, mentions of misogyny)
a/n: this has simultaneously been the pride and joy of my life and the bane of my entire existence for the last 2.5 months 𼴠and tumblr is an inept incapable CLOWN who cannot handle the full 24k worth of bullet points so here is the hyung line first - maknae line coming soon (yumi @sorryimananti-romantic can vouch for my unsuccessful 3-hour attempt at formatting them into a single post)
hongjoong
pov: you're the king's royal courtesan
âfuck,â hongjoong lets out a deep growl from within his chest as his head dips down to rest against the crook of your neck. âyouâre just as tight as last timeâ
when your hips involuntarily buck from the pleasure, he nudges your thighs further apart and keeps your wrists pinned above your head
he canât help but let out another groan when he feels your walls clench around his cock as you adjust to his thickness
âi thought- god,â a moan escapes you after he thrusts his hips against you, âthought you never fucked the same woman twiceâ
âi donât,â he simply says
and itâs true
hongjoong is one of the youngest princes to have ruled during the kim dynasty, having risen to power after the previous king succumbed early to an unknown illness
he has the choice and selection of all the courtesans available within the palace and outside its walls
hongjoong also has a reputation of being highly sought after by everybody, not just amongst courtesans
itâs not only because he is devilishly handsome, knows how to properly fuck somebody dumb, and is the literal king
the main thing that makes him so desirable and unreachable?
he never sees the same courtesan more than once
âyet here you are,â you hook your legs around hongjoongâs waist to gain leverage and meet his thrusts with your own hips, âbetween my legs for the second timeâ
you smirk when he curses and throws his head back
his grip on your wrists tightens and his voice drops dangerously low
âthe first time doesnât count because i was meant to see lady chae. so really, this is the first time iâm requesting for your servicesâ
he silences you from retorting by pressing a bruising kiss against you, lips messily attaching to yours before trailing down the sharp angle of your jaw to bite your neck
you are a courtesan for people of nobility and royal status
part of the âhouse of flowersâ and commonly referred to as âflower courtesansâ, you and the other women are highly-sought after for the companionship you offer
you are well protected by the house of flowers though - the services of companionship that you provide is requested by your client, but is ultimately accepted or rejected by you
lady chae, another of the flower courtesans and one of your closest friends, is requested by the king for her services
it is quite clear what it is going to entail and you both spend several of the following nights giggling and whispering scandalously to one another
whether the rumours about his stamina will be true
whether lady chae will be the first to break his one-fuck rule
except when the day of the meeting comes around, she spikes a sudden fever
lady shin, the head of the house of flowers, takes all but one look at her before ordering her to bed rest despite both of your attempts to, albeit unconvincingly, persuade lady shin that chaeâs fever would only serve to help make the kingâs dick warmer
lady shin is not amused to say the least
with the last minute hitch, the king agrees for you to be sent out to him as a replacement instead
and you end up being the flower courtesan who he breaks his reputed rule for
(lady chae is initially jealous, understandably)
(but very quickly, she appears to be even more excited than you are as she combs through your undergarments for the âsluttiest setâ that she can find)
your attention is brought back as hongjoong flicks his tongue over your hardened nipples, continuing to drag his length in and out of you while your back arches off the bed
you tease in between short breaths, âare you really bringing up another womanâs name while you have your cock inside me?â
âyou brought it up first,â he reminds you, accentuating his answer with timed thrusts
you grind your hips against his, chasing more friction against your clit as you feel your high approaching
âwhy?â he snakes one of his hands down between your connected torsos to rub messy circles against your clit, smirking as he asks, âare you getting jealous already?â
for that, you clench down hard on his cock, immediately feeling the way it throbs inside of you as you bring him closer to his orgasm too
âas if. fuck offâ
your words are hardly audible from the whines that are leaving your mouth due to the added pressure of another finger against your clit from your retaliation
âiâm close,â hongjoong releases his grip on your wrists so that he can straighten his body, anchoring his hand on your hip instead so that he can fuck you and rub your clit with his other hand with renewed vigour
when you hear him groan, âcum for me,â the string snaps and your whole body quivers in his hold as your orgasm washes over you
hongjoongâs hips gradually stutter to a pause, an occasional thrust inside your clenching pussy as he milks out the rest of his cum inside of you
he finally eases himself out of you and hums in satisfaction as he watches his cum slowly leak out of you
hongjoong drops down beside you, toned chest covered in a sheen layer of sweat as it rises up and down with his pants
when your fuzzy mind has cleared a little from the blissful haze of your orgasm, he strokes his fingertips along the side of your thigh, along the curve of your ass, and over the dip of your waist just under your breasts as he says, âyou better not be jealous. first one to get jealous losesâ
âif anyoneâs going to get jealous first, itâs you,â you scoff back
he raises an eyebrow
oh yeah?
he shoves his leaking cum back inside of you and fingers you to another orgasm
now that shuts you up
for a man who barks, he sure has no bite, because you find yourself being notified by lady shin several days later of yet another request for your services under the kingâs name
and another request turns into another
and every single time, hongjoong makes sure that the only word leaving your lips for those many hours is his moaned name
but at the same time, the more you and hongjoong meet, the more he just savours in your simple companionship
he asks you to teach him how to embroider because youâve mentioned before itâs how you like to spend your free evenings
he rifles through your bag of materials that you bring
you smack his hand away at the carelessness with which heâs upturning everything
âwhatâs this?â he holds up a large, wooden hoop before trying to fit it through his head, âa necklace?â
âi wonder if people know they appointed an idiot to be king,â you say as you gently unscrew the hoops and demonstrate how to align a piece of fabric between the rings
he watches with interest as you screw the outer hoop tighter until the fabric is nice and taut and then repeat the process so you both have one to work with
you have to help hongjoong thread his needle too, because apparently the kingâs fingers are only good for scissoring you open
you weave your own needle through the fabric at a slow pace whilst telling him the different names and uses of the stitches youâre showing him
except, when you look up to see if heâs following?
his own hoop has been abandoned to one side and heâs leaning against his hand as he gazes cheekily at you
âwere you even paying attention?â
he sounds a little too confident when he answers not at all
in return, hongjoong shows you how to write hanja the next time you meet
he positions himself behind you with his hand over yours as he guides you through different characters stroke by stroke
he claims that there are specific ways of applying pressure to the brush so he has to be holding your hand at all times
you most definitely roll your eyes several times but you indulge him anyway
there are a lot of giggles and teasing pushes when you accidentally dip the end of your sleeve into the ink and you try to spread it onto his robes too
(the calligraphy may or may not become forgotten when hongjoong pins you down to stop your cheeky behaviour, because things naturally escalate whenever he has you under him)
you two do eventually manage to finish one decent-looking scroll of characters which he ends up gifting you so that you âdonât forgetâ about him when youâre not with him
when you walk back into the house of flowers, the hanging scroll perks lady shinâs interest as you walk past
âhongjoong taught me how to write my name todayâ
lady shin waggles her eyebrows at you suggestively because of how casually you refer to the king, for which you nudge her with a shoulder
she laughs then asks to have a look
you unravel the paper to show her but then she makes a funny noise
âthatâs not your name? these are the characters for- oh,â she cackles scandalously to herself, as if she has made a secret discovery
âwhat does it mean?â you hurry to clarify
you wouldnât put it past him to have taught you a crude phrase instead, like âbest titsâ or âbiggest assâ
lady shin lets out an amused exhale, handing the scroll back to you
âit says, my flowerâ
youâre looking at those exact characters from where you lay on your bed when a knock sounds on your door several days later
lady shin steps into your room with a warm smile as you greet her
âyou have an appointment with lord min tomorrow, but the king has just inquired about your service availability for tomorrow,â she informs you. âwould you like me to give him the usual answer?â
this isnât the first time a clash has occurred, particularly with the increasing frequency with which hongjoong requests to see you
you have always told lady shin to ask for hongjoongâs pardon and to offer him an alternative time or day, because in the end, you still need to maintain a professional and admirable reputation as a flower courtesan
and as you open your mouth to tell her âyesâ, your eye catches the scroll hanging on your wall
my flower
you hesitate
âactually,â you look away from the hanja, âiâll see hongjoong.â
lady shin gives you a motherly smile as she nods in understanding and closes the door behind her
the next day you see him, he excitedly points out the large tambour frame in his room that he bought just a few days prior, claiming you two can work on a big embroidery patch together now
you give him one look then demote him back to the small embroidery hoop because he still hasnât learnt his basic stitches yet
(thatâll teach him to not pay attention when youâre demonstrating, ha)
you relent and end up going through the different stitches with him again anyway
and you find that heâs actually not that bad with embroidery once heâs actually focused on the task at hand
itâs nice, basking in each other's presence while he threads his little square of fabric and you work with the large frame you have now essentially claimed as yours
not that hongjoong minds; he did buy it solely to make you happy
and then you offhandedly mention that someone had gifted you a handkerchief with your initials embroidered on one of the corners the other day
âi actually have it on me, in fact,â and you take it out from where itâs tucked into your waist so that you can show him
he juts out his chin as he peers down at the delicate letters, huffing, âitâs pretty, i guessâ
then as an afterthought he tacks on, âbet i could do a better jobâ
âare you jealous right now, kim hongjoong?â
said man is hellbent on avoiding your eyes as he picks up his needle and thread again
âno iâm not!â
âwhatever you say,â you smirk
after that day though, you donât receive another request from hongjoong to meet until two weeks later
which, in the grand scheme of things, really isnât much
but in comparison to the frequency at which you are used to seeing him, the frequency at which your body is used to having him, it is much too long
you are almost beginning to wonder whether you shouldnât have brought up the handkerchief gift
yet, he greets you with his usual teasing squeeze of your waist, dangerously close to your ass
you make a move to follow him through the doors to his chambers but he turns around to produce a silk cloth
he starts to blindfold you, whispering sultrily, âi have a surprise for youâ
you feel the hairs on the back of your neck raise at his tone
guiding you inside, hongjoong gently pushes you down so that you sink into the plush duvet of his bed
âdo you trust me?â he whispers
trying not to dwell on the urge to lick your dry lips, you answer, âof courseâ
you feel him tugging slowly on the string that holds the front of your corset together, loosening your dress with tenderness like you are a fragile gift
you shiver when your shoulders are suddenly exposed to the cold air
and then the sensation is followed by the warmth of hongjoongâs soft exhales along the expanse of your collarbones as he leans closer to fully disrobe your shoulders
you have to remind yourself to keep breathing
âyou can look now,â he tells you
you remove the silk cloth from around your eyes, unsure of what to expect
it takes a few blinks to readjust your vision to the room around you but then your eyes finally focus
and you gasp
there, hung on the wall with its striking viridian green, shimmering threads and intricate swirls on glorious display, is quite possibly the most stunning dress you have ever laid eyes upon
âtry it on,â he encourages
but as you step closer, you realise the lacing across the front of the corset and running down the sleeves of the top dress is in fact, not lacing
itâs patchy
itâs uneven
it has empty areas
but it is no doubt embroidery
âdid youâŚdid you make this?â you reach out a hand to lightly caress one of the embroidered flowers, not quite daring to believe that hongjoong would go to these lengths for you
âof course,â he wraps his arms around you from behind and presses a light kiss against your temple, âiâm not losing to a lousy handkerchiefâ
âis that why you disappeared for two weeks?â
you let out a laugh, sinking into his embrace, because the image of the great king holed up in his chambers for days on end, hunched over your dress with a needle, thread and frown on his face is just too endearing
he lets out a warning huff as he turns you around in his embrace to face him
upturning his hands, he shows you the tips of his fingers and grumbles, âi poked myself so many times for you and you laugh at me?â
you bring his hands closer to your face, pressing light kisses to his fingertips as you smile, âthank you, joong. i love it so much, i really doâ
he looks at you impossibly soft
under his tender gaze, something suddenly rushes to your very core
you hold one his hands steady in front of your lips then swirl your tongue out in an experimental lick over his fingers
itâs almost captivating how quickly his pupils dilate and zero in on your tongue
so you dare to bring his fingers into your mouth
you suck on them a little harder
a little deeper
and then you moan around his fingers, âi want youâ
he lets out a groan himself, feeling the front of his breeches tighten as his cock twitches
âi- fuck, i didnât give the dress to you in hopes that it would lead to this,â yet despite his words he is stepping you backwards so that he can pin you against the wall
âi know, but i want you,â you palm his growing bulge, your knees going weak at how hard he already is. âand i need you. now.â
he doesnât need further encouragement
he shoves the remainder of your clothes aside before inserting his fingers roughly between your folds
it doesnât take long for him to bring you to your first orgasm, curling his fingers relentlessly as you ride them
he spreads your cum over your pussy and you buck your hips with a whine when he circles over your clit briefly
then heâs turning you around and bending you over, one of your hands bracing against the wall, your other arm held behind your back by hongjoongâs firm grasp
âfuck, youâre so wet,â his whole body shivers with pleasure as his cock slips right into you
the obscene sounds of his hips slapping against your ass and your slick being pushed back into your hole over and over again fill the room
and to the clenching of your pussy from another orgasm, hongjoong also cums into you with a guttural groan of your name
he gently carries you to his bed and lays you on top of the covers
he leaves your side for a moment and you listen to him rummage through something while you try to regain control of your quaking legs
when he comes back, you feel him gently spreading your legs and then the ticklish sensation of a soft cloth along your inner thighs
a whine escapes your lips when he rubs over your sensitive clit and hongjoong grips your thigh a little tighter
âbe careful what pretty sounds youâre making if you canât handle another roundâ
it isnât until he finishes cleaning you up and lies down next to you to start wiping himself down that you look over and realise what it is that heâs been using this whole time
your mouth drops in disbelief
when hongjoong notices your expression, he smirks, âthe man who gave you this has no idea his handkerchief is being used to clean my cum off your thighsâ
âhongjoong!â you flush with a laugh. âyou are definitely jealous, arenât you?â
âyes, iâm fucking jealous,â he growls, âyouâre the only one i want. youâre the only woman iâve been requesting for since iâve seen you. and i want to be the only one who gets to have you, tooâ
you confess, âwell, you can have all of me. because iâve started refusing other people just for youâ
he looks at you for another moment before heâs suddenly straddling your hips
âchange of plans,â he says breathily, âi need you againâ
âvery good plan,â you grind up against him
and then you pause, mirth starting to bubble in your throat, âone last thing thoughâ
hongjoong looks down with amusement in his own eyes, wondering what could possibly be so funny
âthat handkerchief?â you start, struggling not to laugh when his eyes immediately narrow, âi never said it was from a man. it was a gift from lady chaeâ
seonghwa
pov: you're his royal guard
as soon as you notice the movement out of the corner of your eye, your body reacts straight away
you murmur seonghwaâs name with a tight voice and move to position yourself in front of him, unwilling to risk the princeâs safety
one of your hands grasps the hilt of your sword, ready to unsheathe it at the first sign of danger, as your calculative gaze darts between the two young men stumbling closer on the dirt path and the line of forest trees from which they appear
they are wearing simple tunics and breeches with their colour faded and seams loosening from wear
from what you can discern, they are simply commoners, but that does not rule out the possibility that they are bandits
seonghwa seems to think otherwise, though
unsurprising but still grating
the prince places his hand on your shoulder gently in a silent reassurance and request for you to step aside
albeit reluctantly, you force yourself to move to his left
it becomes clear to you as the two figures stop just shy of a few feet away that the term âmenâ was pushing it - their faces are young and they appear to be no older than seventeen or eighteen
the young strangers dip their head in greeting, one of them apologising as well as he pulls out a tattered map that he extends out for you two to see
âmy companion and i are traveling to the village norshaw but seem to have lost our way. would you be able to point us in the right direction?â the one with the map asks
âof course,â seonghwa offers with a kind smile
you watch as the three of them step closer together to look more closely at the map
on high alert, and just as you are predicting, you see the companion shuffle closer to seonghwa, hand inching towards the leather pouch that hangs from the princeâs belt
you catch the subtle motion of seonghwaâs eyes flickering down just an inch
because of how well you understand his body language, you know that it means he has already noticed the thieving intention
but because of how well you understand seonghwa, you know that he isnât going to do anything about it either
so you strike in his stead
your hand darts out to snatch the thieveâs wrist, twisting his forearm upwards so that he is forced to lean awkwardly towards one side to prevent his elbow from snapping
his partner drops the map, letting out a string of curses and hesitating for all but three seconds before he turns around to flee
scoffing, you threaten the one who is still in your hold, who then bolts with his tail between his legs after you release him
"did you really need to scare them off like that? it's not like i had any money in the pouch anyway," seonghwa chastises with a chuckle
"yes," you deadpan. "i did not spend the last two hours of our trip pausing every fifty meters to wait for you to pick up a rock because you thought it looked pretty, only for them to be stolen by a pair of petty thieves"
"it would have been funny to imagine their faces after realising what they stole," seonghwa grins
âmhm,â you hum, âand the next thing you know, youâll wake up to your palace ransacked, because word in town is that you can steal from the prince and get away with itâ
he levels you with a boyish scowl, âyouâre so dramatic. what are you, my mother?â
âno, but i am your royal bodyguardâ
âexactly. you are my bodyguard, not my brainguard. if i am to be swindled of my pretty rocks, then so be itâ
you roll your eyes out of exasperation, but everything is swiftly forgotten minutes later when you point out a heart-shaped rock and seonghwa rushes over to pick it up
it has been like this ever since the incident occurred - him, the sunshine; you, the sunshine protector
it has been almost four years since it happened
somebody had attempted arsenic poisoning of not only seonghwa, but also those working under him
you had noticed strange discolouring of the silverware in the kitchen and on the table serving his dinner, which prompted an investigation and subsequent discovery of the perpetrator
an act of betrayal and treachery by one of his closest relatives - his very own uncle
seonghwa was - still is - too merciful and tender-hearted to punish his uncle, even if the severity of his uncleâs crimes warranted execution
to have his trust broken so shatteringly hurt seonghwa more than if he were to actually have been poisoned
you still remember like it was yesterday; the sight of the prince slumped against the wall, weighed down by chains of turmoil and despair as whispers fly through the palace of the weak-hearted prince who is unable to deliver fair judgement
it is the sight of the prince looking so small and lost that drives your feet forward to stand before him
as the soft draught coming through the windows tugs gently on your tresses and the flickers of candlelight illuminate the glint of steel in your hand, you make a decision
âiâll be your sword,â you pledge
not just as his royal guard, but as his haven when he is forced to face corruption and wickedness
and when you see the way his shoulders immediately sag with relief at your declaration, the way he nods like a child who has been reassured that everything will be okay, you tell yourself that seonghwa will never have to dirty his hands as long as you are with him
you will be the dark to his light; the yin to his yang
quietly, you see to it that his uncle is executed for his crimes - your statement to the rest of the palace that prince seonghwa is not to be mocked
neither of you bring it up again, but seonghwa knows
he pulls you into a wholehearted hug, arms enveloping you securely as his chest shakes with shuddering breaths of thank you over and over again
you rub your hand up and down his sturdy back soothingly
it is an action that simultaneously reciprocates his embrace and his crossed line of professionalism
one that starts the shift in dynamic between you both, boundaries of sought comfort blurring with friendship and then something more
where seonghwa is too trusting and too soft-spoken, you become his skepticism and his voice
âyou should be more wary of others,â you always remind him
âand you should be more trusty of others,â heâll retort
yet, he will never make a decision that does not receive your input nor one that you do not agree with
where seonghwa is too gentle and too humble, you become his sword and his shield
you do not waver when you strike down foe, and friends turned foe alike
you speak up and establish firm boundaries when others take advantage of the respect he shows everybody regardless of their class or status
and yet, if you find yourself on the receiving end of someoneâs condescension or discriminatory treatment, be it due to your rank as a guard or identity as a woman, seonghwa will be advancing forward to defend you before you can do so yourself
where seonghwa is too innocent and too bushy-tailed, you become his eyes and his caution
your morning walks together always last for longer than they are scheduled for
he stops to watch every butterfly and bumblebee that flutters along the flowery path, and he waits for caterpillars to crawl onto a leaf that he holds by the stem so that he can move the critters off the pathway
you love to watch him and his glittering eyes, his cheeks rosy from happiness and from the air still crisp with morning dew
but you also make sure to watch his surroundings with greater vigilance because the quiet peace that the freshly awoken sun brings simultaneously increases the likelihood of a targeted attack against him
as much as you rib him for being a marshmallow personified, however, and as much as he banters back that you are more than welcome to resign at any time, neither of you want it any other way
seonghwa carries out a lot of gestures that he justifies to himself as being eternally grateful for you and the things you do for him
he likes to gift you flowers he has plucked from his garden or the bushes he walks past that remind him of you
(âthatâs actually just a very pretty-looking weed, but thank you, seonghwa,â you tell him on more than one occasion)
(itâs adorable, because the next time he finds a flower, he goes to the length of certifying that it is indeed a flower with the merchant who sells bouquets in the nearby town before presenting it to you, eyes gleaming with pride)
you stand still and let him tuck a flower behind your ear, sometimes braiding your hair gently so that he can weave and secure the stem into your hair, holding your breath as his features fill with the same enrapturement that he would admire a beautiful artwork with
after you voice this out one day, seonghwa supposes to himself that there is not much difference between an artwork and you
not that heâs attracted to you or anything - you justâŚhave an objectively attractive face
yes.
especially when your usually-piercing expression is softened by fatigue, guard no longer up as you sleep slumped over a desk while accompanying him during his late night of studies
he does not realise his feet have moved until he is right beside your resting form, as if the soft exhales escaping from your slightly parted lips are a sirenâs song
seonghwa tenderly brushes your stray locks away from your face and behind your neck
except he forgets to account for the fact that you are trained to sleep on the brink of consciousness
the squeal that leaves his mouth when your reflexes kick in and you almost slit his throat resounds at a frequency so high you almost believe it comes from your own mouth
you have a grand time watching his beet red face stutter out an excuse as to what exactly he was doing so close to you
needless to say, that is the last time seonghwa ever tries to do anything while you are sleeping
but as much as he bumbles around, he also reveals his perceptiveness when you least expect it
like now, as you accompany the prince to one of his meetings with numerous advisors and ministers
it is relatively dull and uneventful, mostly a cordial appearance to maintain amicable and loyal relationships with his subjects
conversation is limited to pleasantries and at one point, seonghwa even points out the calligraphy paintings hung at the back of the room
everyone nods with throaty laughs as if the paintings are indeed the most exquisite and tasteful artworks they have ever laid their eyes upon
when you and seonghwa arrive back at his chambers following the conclusion of the meeting, he walks over to his bed and shakes the sleeves of his robe over the expanse of his duvet
and out drops a neatly-wrapped sweet, followed by another, then another, until there are enough to amount to two handfuls
baffled, you look at seonghwa, because these are the very same treats that had been plated on the tables during the meeting
âyou smuggled candy out of the room?â you try to keep the amusement out of your voice
he peers into his sleeves to ensure there are no more stragglers, before turning to face you as he waves his hands over the small collection of goods on his bed
as if they are-
âfor you!â he exclaims almost proudly. âi saw you eyeing them during the meeting so i took some for youâ
okay
most definitely proudlyÂ
you feel something tickling you from within, as if he has reached through your chest to directly caress your heart with a delicate finger
âwhen did you evenâŚâ your voice trails off when it comes out a little fonder than you are expecting it to
âremember the paintings i pointed out?â seonghwa giggles, and you think that the hand in your chest is now cradling your heart completely. âi swiped the sweets when everyone was looking back at themâ
âthank you, hwa,â you settle on saying, because you do not trust yourself to say anything else
that is more than enough for him, though
which, of course it is - this is seonghwa, with his huge heart that fills easily with the smallest of things
he eagerly hands you one of the treats and you unwrap it to place into your mouth
youâve had these before, but this one that he has specially grabbed for you tastes remarkably sweeter
you wonder if his lips will taste the sameâŚ
but then you accidentally bite your tongue, hard enough to draw blood, and you realise just how wrong you are for letting those fleeting thoughts into your mind
because while you navigate the world in thick droplets of red and sharp glints of silver, seonghwa sees the world in soft hues of pastel and gleaming rays of yellow
how could the two palettes ever blend together harmoniously?
so instead, you grant yourself one last moment of selfishness and pull him into a hug, a gesture that toes the already shaky borders of professionalism yet can still be excused under the guise of friendship
you realise that he has always meant much more to you, but that is what this will stay as - a mere realisation
seonghwa wraps his arms around your form as he relaxes into the way your bodies naturally meld together
itâs strange how easily you slot into his life, his thoughts, his heart
he wonders whether itâs possible for feelings of appreciation to run so deeply and potently within somebody, like a drug that he cannot get enough of
and when you take a step away from him, leaving his chest feeling physically and emotionally empty, he wonders if he is perhapsâŚ
in love with you
following that incident, it is almost as if a switch flips - both of you take several steps away from the line that has been danced around
but neither of you notice the distance because you are both consumed by your own thoughts
until one of your usual morning walks around the castle walls of his palace
seonghwa is wondering whether the bushes you walk past remind you of the flowers he used to gift you and you are debating whether to reach out to brush a petal out of his half ponytailÂ
then, like deja vu, your eyes flicker towards the burst of movement as a figure covered in black comes darting forwards with their blade raised intended for murder
you immediately start to unsheathe your sword, feet poised and prepared to defend-
until you are harshly tugged back and the prince steps in front of you to parry the strike that the assassin tries to land
it takes your lifetime of training and experience to snap back into focus and thrust your sword into the enemyâs exposed side
when you are sure he is dead, you whirl around to descend upon seonghwa with a voice trembling from both anger and relief
âwhat in the world were you thinking?â you yell
âi-â
taking a step forward, you toss your sword to one side, âno, actually. you werenât thinking at allâ
âi was afraid that you would get hurt!â he takes his own step closer
âthat is my duty!â the volume of your voice raises even more. âi am willing to lay down my life to ensure your safety! i have been guarding you for years now and you have never acted this way. what has changed?â
for a moment, the only sound that punctuates the silence is your harsh breathing
seonghwa swallows
âmy feelingsâŚâ he whispers, a stark contrast to the peak of emotions you have been riding. âmy feelings for you have changedâ
your throat tightens at his words
it is your turn to whisper, a noise of confusion leaving your lips
he takes another step closer, bringing himself to stand right in front of you as he looks down earnestly into your eyes
âiâd rather be the protector, and you be the protectedâ
âbutâŚwhy?â your heart races with anticipation
âbecause iâm in love with youâÂ
right at the invisible border that has been separating you two for as long as you have been his guard, seonghwa now stands, hands wringing together as he awaits a response
âthen that makes the two of us,â you confess
you step forward to take your familiar spot on the other side of the line, except this time you do not stop
you stride over the boundary completely to stand by his side
raising yourself onto your tiptoes, you pull him down slightly by the front of his doublet so that you can press a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips
it stretches wider and curves upwards under the nurturing of your own smile
you canât help but give him another kiss on the other side of his mouth to match the one you just gave him
âfrom now on,â seonghwa starts, âiâll be your swordâ
you wouldnât really, and you will fight him to let you continue being his guard, but that doesnât stop one last teasing question from escaping you
âdoes this mean i get to retire?â
yunho
pov: you're part of a rebel group
the crown prince is not in his fucking library
for the past three weeks, the crown prince has always been in the royal library at night
until today
under normal circumstances, his royal guards and staff would be alerted to ensure that the deviance in routine is a conscious decision and not an issue of the crown prince missing
except doing that would make your job significantly harderâŚ
considering you have been ordered to assassinate him.
youâre part of the âred sunâ, a revolutionary movement aiming to overthrow the current monarch
following the debilitating state of the king after falling ill and the subsequent coronation of queen jeong into power, she has since then established numerous royal decrees to keep everyone under her reign on a tight leash
a leash made of barbed wire
people are quick to become resentful and thirsty for an end to the dictatorship and bloodline
although he has made limited public appearances, the crown prince has also developed a reputation rivaling the queenâs
within the second year of the jeong dynasty, red sun has already amassed a multitude of supporters
the focus is currently on growing in numbers, preparing for an imminent revolution and picking off corrupt royals and noblists, be it through incrimination or assassination
dealing with those in positions of higher power is a task only completed by an elite selection of red sun rebels who have distinguished skills and traits that set them apart from peasants and commoners
and you are amongst the elite team
which is why you find yourself staking out on the tiled roof of the imperial palace, clothed in black with a mask and hooded cowl covering your face that blends you in with the darkness of night, on the orders of a higher-up to assassinate the crown prince
except the target is missing; the information you were given is wrong
which never happens
you canât risk staying around for much longer, especially now that the crown prince has broken his routine
he could be anywhere and so could his royal guards
you shift your body to a crouch and place your hands on the cool tiles beneath you, ready to leave
only to spot a figure, crouched just like you are, on the opposite side of the roof
their face is a black hole of nothing within the shrouded confines of their hood, but you can feel their gaze piercing into you all the same
you run
you scramble to the edge of the roof and nimbly leap off the curved eaves to the neighbouring structure of the study room
when you glance backwards, you see the man - physique now obvious - is keeping up easily along the stepping stones of roofs
this game of cat and mouse isnât going to work for long
if you donât get caught by him first, youâre both going to get caught by the palace guards
so you make a split decision and alter your next trajectory lower
keeping your arms outstretched for the eaves, you grab on tightly when your fingers touch the edge of the roof and use your core to kick your legs up to stop your body from slamming into the wall from the momentum of your jump
you let go and drop to the ground like a feline, noiseless, and slink towards a line of trees
then you wait
heâs good, you note to yourself, when the only sound that alerts you to his presence is the quick scuffle of his feet as he softens his impact against the wall and the muted thud of his body landing on the ground
âstate your purpose,â he demands, voice low yet firm
you ignore him to ask, âwho are you?â
now up close, you can see that the man is wearing attire almost the same as you are, identity also hidden by the his bandana and hood-
wait
even the dark red stitching that subtly replaces the original seam on the right shoulder of his outer clothing is the same
the same as those on the elite team
âone of you,â he confirms your suspicions
except you donât recognise his voice nor his build
being one of the earliest members of the rebel organisation, you are familiar with all the members who carry out missions like yours
he is not one of them; not one you can trust yet
when you donât speak, he adds on, âwe need to go. the safehouse might be in dangerâ
we
he refers to the two of you so easily, as if you and him are an unspoken team
you cannot trust this man until you know for sure he is part of red sun, so you ask him
âwhen is red most beautiful?â
it is a vague question with a fixed answer
one that reflects the heart of the revolutionary itself
during the sunrise of a new beginningÂ
âduring the sunrise of a new beginning,â the man says resolutely
the tension releases from your shouldersÂ
âokay,â you opt to abandon your original mission. âletâs check on the safehouseâ
the man offers you a hand to hike yourself up onto one of the outer walls of the palace before he jumps up himself with ease
you both flip over the top and land in unison
the moon illuminates the ground beneath your feet as you both sprint into the surrounding forest
the safehouse is really just a small hut situated far enough from the palace to stay inconspicuous, yet not close enough to the outer borders of the kingdom to risk discovery by the frequent border patrols
you both slow down as you approach the clearing, steadying your breaths and treading with cautious steps
and then you hear it
the shattering clang of a desperate parry
all it takes is a quick glance at the man by your side before your eyes harden with purpose and your steps are dashing in unison towards the hut
youâre both hit with the smell of a metallic tang in the air, and itâs not from your drawn swords
bursting through the door, you quickly take in the scene before you
several red sun members are scattered around the hut and slumped in varying degrees of injury
itâs easy to spot the intruder; theyâre yanking their sword out of a bodyâs torso as they simultaneously turn to look at you
and itâs hard to miss the royal insignia of the jeong monarch on their chest plate
you have the element of surprise
but only for the next few seconds
you leap forward with the thud of footsteps of your partner following almost immediately, side-stepping once you close the distance to dodge a haphazard swing
thereâs a brief break in defense when the enemy tries to aim for another strike that leaves the gap in the side of their armour exposed
you feel the slight resistance of your sword entering flesh as you thrust it forward into them
except when you try to tug it back out, a hand grasps your own and the hilt of your sword, stopping you from stepping away
the enemy has realised they are not going to make it out of this alive
but if they are to die, then they are going to take one last person with them
you.
you see glint of metal as they use their other hand to swing their sword down onto you, only for it to be deflected at the last second by another sword
the man you have met for barely an hour is now at your side with his towering protectiveness
in one smooth kick, his long leg sends the other careening into the wall of the hut with a mighty slam
you feel yourself jerking forward from the enemyâs grasp still on your hand
but the man next to you quickly tucks you into his side before you are also sent sprawling
âcheck on the others,â he briefly says, and then he is striding towards the fallen intruder
you only spare him another quick glance and then you rush to the nearest figure on the ground
you go around checking for pulses, and for those who are still breathing, the extent of their injuries
there are several casualties but nowhere near as many if you and the man had not come to check on the safehouse
which suddenly makes you pause in your tracks
how did he know about the attack in the first place?
you stretch your legs from their squatted position next to one of the red sun members and turn around to confront him
exceptâŚthe man has disappeared
and so has the intruderâs body
days later, the question of whether you will chance upon the man again tonight flits through your mind when you find yourself perched in the very same spot on the tiled roof of the palace that gives you a clear view of the royal library
you have received another order to assassinate the crown prince as soon as you see the opportunity arise
this time, the note is accompanied by a cyanide capsule, a non-verbal message that this mission is to occur with your life on the line
you spot him
heâs preoccupied by the scroll in his hand as he makes his way through the shelves of parchments
you wait until heâs walked far enough into the library before you drop down from the roof, keeping your stance low to ensure you stay hidden as you silently move closer
you take out the jagged dagger from its sheath by your waist as you anticipate it will be too difficult to wield your long sword in the narrow aisles
and there the crown prince stands
he has his back to you, exposing him to your mercy
mercy that you have no intention of showing him
the cruel heir to the throne of an even crueler dictatorship deserves none
âitâs you again, isnât it?â
you freeze
the crown prince still has not turned around to address you, but you can feel the dark gaze of his eyes on you as if he were looking at you
âyou were here a few days agoâ
fuck
how he knows you have no idea
what you do know though is that you have about two seconds to make a move before you lose this chance to assassinate him completely, and quite possibly, lose your life as well
the pill you have hidden in the breast of your tunic feels heavy
âyou are part of red sun, are you not?â
this time the crown prince does turn around to face you, but it isnât the nonchalance with which he reveals your identity that makes your head reel
it is the warmth and softness in his gaze and the hint of a smile on his face that does
what the actual fuck
youâre convinced that the crown prince is not only heinous, but also batshit crazy
âi am,â you spit out at him, âwith orders to assassinate you, in factâ
his mouth thins into a tight line, âthe orders you have received are falseâ
âsounds exactly like something a crown prince would say to avoid being assassinated,â you scoff
but then his next words change everything
âred is most beautiful during the sunrise of a new beginningâ
before you have time to fathom the bomb that has just been dropped, your heads swivel simultaneously towards the entrance of the royal library when a voice calls out for the crown prince
âhide,â he hisses urgently
and then heâs stepping further away to conceal your presence as best as possible
you hear the shuffle of footsteps approaching before they stop, dangerously close to where youâre crouched behind a bookshelf
âapologies for interrupting your time, crown prince,â they say
from where you are you can see the crown princeâs expression clear as he lets out a small huff, âi have told you many times to just call me yunhoâ
âof course, crown prince yunhoâ
even though you canât see the other personâs expression, you can hear the amusement in their voice
they continue, âi have the information you have requested forâ
âthank you,â you see him - yunho - receive a small scroll. âthe queen does not know?â
âno, i made sure to be as discreet as possibleâ
yunho thanks the other once again and your eyes nearly fall out of their sockets when he bows his head in appreciation as he dismisses them
is this the same crown prince as the rumours?
and what is he doing behind his motherâs back?
you donât realise youâve been staring dumbly at him until heâs back in front of you with amusement on his face
he stands tall and proud, robes accentuating his stature and nobility
âwho exactly are you,â you dare to ask
your voice is small - you feel small, crouched at his feet like a stark physical representation of the power he holds over you
but then he takes yet another step closer and kneels down so that your eyes meet at the same level
âi am the leader of red sun. the creator of the whole revolutionâ
your ankles actually do give out at that and you have to seat yourself on the floor
because how is any of this possible?
you must have voiced your thoughts out loud, because before you know it, yunho is crossing his legs and making himself comfortable on the floor right in front of you
it makes you feel so strange
the crown princeâs willingness to make himself an equal before you - and even to his staff from earlier
yunho starts to explain
a change in monarch, particularly one of such dictatorship, requires massive momentum and synergy; something he cannot produce alone nor without the support of the people
thus, red sun came into existence for the exact same reason you and all the other supporters have joined
in hopes of a sunrise one day that marks a new beginning
a new leadership
except recently he has had growing suspicious of the presence of a traitor within the organisation, which were confirmed the night the safehouse was attacked
âthat nightâŚthat man was you,â you realise, âand thatâs how you know who i amâ
he nods, âand thatâs also how i know your orders are false.â yunho nudges you playfully with his knee, âpretty sure i never ordered for my own assassinationâ
yunho continues to explain that he had taken the intruder back for interrogation, but then you frown when he reveals the enemy had swallowed a suicide pill before any information could be gained
he has an inkling that someone in a high position of power is involved, since the pills are almost impossible to gain access to, but it cannot be ruled out as a coincidence
âhang on,â you pull down the top of your tunic in a hurry
yunho scrambles to cover his eyes and turns his head as he jokingly sputters out, âwoah okay, this is moving a little fast donât you think?â
you tug impatiently on the sleeve of his robe, telling him to look
yunho hesitates for another second before lowering his hands and realising you have-
âa suicide pill?âÂ
you look at each other, because this can only mean one thing
the pills are not a coincidence; the enemy is much closer than yunho would like
youâre both unsure how much time there is until the traitor decides to order someone else to assassinate yunho, or worse, decides to finish the job off themselves
but from that very night of discovery, you and yunho work together incessantly against a ticking time bomb
itâs a delicate balance between finding as many leads as you can and spreading out your investigations to stay under the radar
yunho tries to look further into the cyanide pills while you try to uncover any information regarding the order you had been given
whoever is behind it all has kept their tracks hidden well
there isnât much to report from either of your ends whenever you sneak into the palace to meet up with yunho
but he makes it very hard for you to feel discouraged when he makes your meetings seem like casual catch ups between - you dare say - friends
you have yet to catch him by surprise whenever you drop down from the roof in front of him in an attempt to scare him; he has an uncanny ability to sense your presence
except, you think you prefer being unsuccessful, because your indignant grumbles never fail to bring out his toothy grin and an excited body jiggle
other times he is the one trying to fluster you
âremember that time you literally tried undressing yourself in front of me-â
âi was taking the pill out to show you!âÂ
you bring your thumb and index finger closer together in front of your face and squint at the gap
âi am this close to changing my mind and assassinating you after allâ
he gets a kick out of it, pretending to beg for your mercy, âoh please spare me, your majestyâ
other times, yunho teases you for always keeping your cowl and mask on
âbet itâs because youâre ugly or something,â he jokes
and you bite back that he had his face covered too when you both met, so youâre one to talk, ugly
âbut since then iâve always shown you my face as the crown prince. you can see me nice and clear,â he suddenly leans forward, so close you can see the dip of his cupidâs brow. âwhat do you think about me now?â
you swallow hard
youâre glad you have your mask on because you can feel your face rapidly heating up
âi thinkâŚâ you gently cup his jaw, âyou look better with your mask on,â as you nudge his face to the side
you cannot help but join in with your own chuckles at his laughter and boyish glee
and eventually, you two have a breakthrough
yunho manages to trace the cyanide back to a traveling merchant operating under the guise of selling rare herbs and medicine
in the transaction ledger, there is an unusually large purchase under the name of âlee minjunâ
âiâm sure iâve seen the name before somewhere, but i canât remember where,â yunho huffs
you let out your own huff at his elbow that has very naturally taken a rest on your shoulder
pulling out a stack of paper, you spread it out onto the table before you two
they are past records of certain red sun missions that, upon looking back, seem suspicious
âi noticed a mark on a couple of them, a drawing or character perhaps? except none of them are fully intact. itâs almost like the paper was accidentally markedâ
you point them out to yunho in hopes that he will have a better idea
he doesnât - not at first
not until he chances upon two that vaguely align with each other to form a clearer image
âthis-â yunho runs his hand through his hair, âthis is butler leeâs stamp. my fatherâs butler.â
the kingâs butler?
lee?
your eyes snap to yunhoâs, just as his meet yours
âlee minjunâ
you sink back in your seat
thereâs now definite proof that the kingâs butler is at the very least involved
the question of why and what for remains
in fact, you and yunho would not put it past the queen either to be involved too
there is a long moment of shared silence as you both mull over what this means for the future
yunho breaks the silence first
âafter this all endsâŚdo you want to work for me, officially?â he clears his throat, âwill you stay by my side?â
after this all ends
you two must still uncover butler leeâs motives; likely part of a much grander scheme involving queen jeong too
you two must still bring down the whole monarch; with the support of red sun, yunho needs to sit on his rightful throne
the sun has yet to rise but you can see the faint hues of orange and twilight blue in the horizon
the new beginning is close
and at that, something in you relaxes
crumbles and disintegrates with utter relief
âit would be my honour to stay by your side forever, yunhoâ
and then you are removing your hood and mask, daring to breathe and feel alive and hopeful for once
ironically, yunho chokes on air
you glance at him to find that he is unable to meet your eyes
you think your eyes are deceiving you because-
the tips of his ears are a glowing red
you could definitely get used to seeing the usually calm and collected crown prince become a shy, blushing mess
the corner of your mouth rises with smugness, âlike what you see?â
âyou should really keep your hood and mask on,â he mumbles
âand why is that?â you humour him
he finally looks at you
and when he sees the shit-eating grin plastered across your face, his shoulders suddenly fill out again with confidence and cockiness to match yours
âbecause,â his voice deep and flirtatious, âwith a pretty face like that, youâre going to distract me from my dutiesâ
yeosang
pov: you're in an arranged marriage with him
ever since you could understand the words coming out of your parentsâ mouths, you have known that you will be married to yeosang
it just made sense
for the respective princess and prince of two powerful kingdoms to join together, leading to increased power and stronger allies
it is tradition for the pair to meet their chosen spouse for the first time only when both parties have turned sixteen, and even then, subsequent meetings are rare until the time of the actual wedding
so you spend the first sixteen years of your life infatuated with the idea of your prince charming - of prince yeosang - wondering what he looks like, what his personality is like, and how you two will fall in love
and when you finally reach that long-awaited first meeting, prince charming is everything and more than what you have envisioned
if angels with broken wings were exiled to earth, they would look like yeosang
he is soft-spoken and slightly reserved, as any awkward teenager meeting their future spouse would be, but you donât miss the way that his eyes overflow with adoration and his shoulders shake with exuberant giggles whenever his little sister, yeoreum, comes tottering into the room
he always bends down onto one knee to match her eye level, uncaring of the stains that mark his pants even as his mother narrows her eyes in disdain, and he listens with utmost sincerity when yeoreum tells him about the secret pink and glittery fairy she spotted in the courtyardÂ
they remind you of the relationship you share with your own little brother, juwon, who is barely half your age and height, yet has you wrapped around his little finger
you lean down closer with a hum at the soft tug on your dress to hear your little brother whisper conspiratorially into your ear, âhe looks stupidâ
if looks could kill, yeosang would be dead right now
you stifle a laugh as you flick juwonâs chin affectionately at his sudden display of childish jealousy
if anything, youâre pretty sure you are the one who looks stupid
stupidly in love
because walking away from that first meeting with yeosang and his family, you know that you are absolutely smitten for the prince
unable to quell the restlessness of having to wait until the next unforeseeable meeting, you pick up a quill that very same day you return to your palace and start writing
it takes you all night, the gentle gleams and winks of the stars keeping you company until they rotate shifts with the songs of the waking world
but by the time you have crossed out and scrunched your way through rolls and rolls of parchment paper, you are satisfied with the letter you have written
the letter addressed to prince yeosang, which you task eunju, one of your maids, with passing it to the royal couriers for delivery to the kang palace
it is a simple letter, thanking him for the enjoyable day, yet it holds the deeper message that you are interested in him and would like to become better acquainted before your marriage
you wonder whether his cheeks will flush a pretty red as his butler hands him your letter
whether he will trace his fingers delicately over the curve of your words
whether he will bite back a smile as he pictures you saying the words to him
two weeks pass, and you approximate the letter to have just been delivered to his kingdom
and although you desperately wish for him to immediately sit down with a quill in hand to pen out his reply, you wait and give him a week before you eagerly start counting down the days until the arrival of his letter
your whole life you have been able to wait patiently
you wonder what has changed now that mere weeks feel like an eternity
the day yeosangâs letter is due to arrive, you are sporadic bursts of giggles, twirls and skips throughout the palace
even juwon is starting to become sick of getting swept up into a crushing hug to the cheery tune of i loveee youuuu every single time you pass him
nothing can bring you down from cloud nine
onlyâŚthe letter never comes
not the day after, not the week after, not the month after
youâre disappointed, of course, but you busy yourself with reasons why yeosang has not replied, and you donât give up
you send him another letter, and then another, and another
sometimes you just tell him about your day - what made you smile, what made you sad, something interesting you saw, something your little brother said
other times you tell him about yourself - your hobbies, likes and dislikes, aspirations, fearsÂ
and you also wonder about him
you ask what he likes, what he smiles at, what makes him sad, what his dreams are
with each letter that you hand over to eunju to be delivered, it becomes harder and harder to stay optimistic - not even the words of encouragement from your favourite maid lifts your spirits
you continue like this for over a year, still yet to receive a replyÂ
until-
you do.
it feels like you are brought back to that very night of your first meeting, feeling so very alive as hope and excitement cascade into your body the moment eunju hands you a letter with a smile
with shaking hands, you fumble to unpeel the wax seal and free the envelopeâs contents - a single piece of paper, neatly folded
your mind races with anticipated words and explanations
perhaps he had been too shy to reciprocate your letters earlier
or perhaps your letters had been lost in transit
you unfold the parchment as the hairs on your skin raise in anticipation, only to find it blank save for one scrawled sentence in the middle of the paper-
stop sending me letters.
and just like that, the clock strikes twelve
your carriage reverts into a pumpkin
and your carefully curated story of prince charming disintegrates into ashes
you donât write to him again.
years later, the stacks of parchment scrolls on the wooden desk of the guest room you are currently residing in feel like a fresh slap in the face each time your eyes land on them
they are a stark reminder of your very own letters, the cold rejection you received, and the irony of the only letter you ever received again following his being one from the kang monarchs, announcing the proceeding of the royal wedding between you and their son
now, only a few days newly-wed to yeosang, the king and queen are gracious enough to let you sleep in one of the guest rooms temporarily, under your claims of adjusting to a life in a new kingdom and as a wife
really, you are trying to avoid yeosang for as long as you can
you spend your time instead getting to know his little sister better, which is why you find yourself sitting side by side with yeoreum, legs dangling off the edge of your bed
she eyes the vase of flowers on your bedside table curiously, âdid you buy that?â
âno,â you reach out to touch the babyâs breath, âsomeone delivered it to my roomâ
you had offhandedly mentioned to some of your staff the other day that flowers would make your room look more homey, and you had woken up the morning after to find the beautiful vase teeming with flowers next to you
âwhy?â you ask yeoreum when she hums thoughtfully
âit looks just like the vase in my brotherâs room, but heâs weird about it. yeo never lets anyone touch it, much less have itâ
you blanch a little, âin that case iâll give it back to him later thenâ
âyou donât like it? orâŚyou donât like my brother? my brother talks about you a lot, you know,â she reveals
caught off-guard by her perceptiveness, you reveal that you have been hurt before
you donât specify by what exactly or who it is that youâre talking about, but she seems to understand regardless
later that night, sweet yeoreum barges into yeosangâs room and with as much feistiness as she can muster, she glares at her brother and interrogates, âwhat did you do to make her upset?â
before he can so much as blink, yeoreum concludes, âyou boys are dumb. go talk to her and fix it or something,â and then walks out with a huff
thereâs no one there to witness it, but yeosang nods anyway
heart feeling a little heavy after your conversation with yeoreum, you head towards the kitchen to seek solace in the sweet pastry you are usually served each morning
the first time you tasted the danish pastry, decorated with strawberries and cream cheese, was when you had traveled to yeosangâs palace at the age of sixteen for your first meeting
you remember the blissful expression that had bloomed across your face with your initial bite, and no dessert ever captivated your tastebuds quite the same way ever again
if there is one good thing out of this arranged marriage with yeosang, then it would be the reunion between yourself and the strawberry danish
âyour highness,â the head chef bows, followed by the rest of the staff in the kitchen, âhow may we help you?â
when you ask for one of the pastries, the head chef apologises that there are none
âbut we can make you one now, if you do not mind waitingâ
you tell him not to go to the trouble and ease his worries, âi just thought there may have been leftover pastriesâ
âwe make only one fresh every morning, specifically for you,â the chef explains, and confusion must settle across your features because he adds on, âhis highness has expressed that you may like themâ
oh?
flustered, you can only muster a short response of, âi do, thank you,â before you smile once more and excuse yourself
because of all people to notice and remember such a small detail, and then to go out of their way to put in the request with the kitchen on the off chance that it was still true, it was yeosang?Â
first the vase, and now this
you feel something deeply buried inside of you start to stir but you rush to nip it in the bud
your head and your heart are beginning to wage war against each other and suddenly everything feels like itâs too much
when you reach your bedroom, you throw open the double doors to step out onto the balcony, welcoming the chilling breeze of the darkening sky
youâre tired of fearing rejection if you open up
youâre tired of questioning yeosangâs intentions
and on top of it all, you suddenly miss home and you miss your parents and you miss juwon and-
âare you okay?â
yeosangâs soft question startles you, having missed his knocking at your door
he walks closer to join you out on the balcony when he sees that the answer is obviously a no, and he prompts you again, âwhatâs wrong?â
thoughts of vases and strawberry pastries flit across your mind
you start with half truths
âjust missing my little brotherâ
âyou love him a lot, donât you,â yeosang smiles sweetly, âi can see it in the way you take care of yeoreumâ
you canât help the heat that slowly creeps up the back of your neck and to your ears, because it implies that heâs noticed all the times youâve showered his little sister with the same love you give to juwon
it implies heâs noticed you
âwhatâs your fondest memory of juwon?â he asks when you nod
something within you thaws slightly at the fact that yeosang remembers your little brotherâs name
you step closer to the edge of the balcony so that you can overlook the garden outside your room a little clearer, resting your hand on the railing as yeosang waits patiently
âwe used to have this game we played. we had a lot of gardenia flowers growing around our courtyard and juwon loved cutting some to make me a mini bouquet,â you pause to shake your head with a chuckle, âit drove our mother nutsâ
âdoesnât sound like it stopped him from continuing though, did it?â yeosang questions with mirth
âno, it didnât,â your heart aches with fondness. âhe would use a certain number of gardenias and make me guess what phrase containing the same number of letters he had in mindâÂ
it never failed to tug your mouth into a smile whenever juwon giggled at your attempts to guess the flower phrase, even when most times he would bound away whilst singing answers like y-o-u s-t-i-n-k or d-u-m-b d-u-m-b
yeosang supports himself on the railing with one hand as he nearly folds in on himself in laughter, and before you know it, you too are gasping for air and wiping away tears from your eyes
when you both calm down relatively enough, only intermittent chuckles leaving your lips, yeosang clears his throat and scratches his neck awkwardly
âi know it might not be much, but maybe we can go out into town tomorrow and it might take your mind off things? and we can bring yeoreum along if that makes you feel more comfortable, because youâve probably spent more time alone with her than you have with me?â
you donât admit it, but youâre already feeling a little better, so you decide to tease, âare you asking me out on a date right now, kang yeosang?â
âoh, well, weâd be doing things a little backwards since weâre already like, marriedâŚbut, yes? maybe? is that okay?â
itâs yeosangâs turn to flush a deep red as his usually composed demeanor is reduced to stutters, but you donât notice under the faint glow cast by the moon now reigning the sky
âyeah, thatâs okayâ
you and yeosang smile fondly as your little trio stroll through a nearby town the following morning, his younger sister skipping ahead to peer at the colourful trinkets being sold at the market stalls, and your own small squad of royal soldiers following behind at a respectful distance
itâs kind of endearing how yeosang points out item after item, asking whether you like it or whether you find it pretty, in a not-so-subtle attempt to learn about your preferences
you have to stop him from buying you something from every second stall you both pass, but youâre unable to convince him from purchasing a small wooden toy as a gift for juwon, insisting that you give it to your little brother the next time you see him
the more you actually interact and talk with yeosang, the harder you find it to associate him with the memory of the yeosang in your rejected letters
because the equation of the letters, the vase and the pastries just does not add up
as you two sit under the awning of a small shop, watching yeoreum play with the shopkeeperâs dog, you find yourself unable to hold back anymore
âwhy didnât you reply to my letters?â you break the silence, trying to hide the hurt laced in your voice
yeosang looks at you with wide eyes as his mouth stutters open
and in the smallest voice you have ever heard him speak with, he says
âyou wrote me letters?â
your eyebrows knit together as your eyes dart back and forth between his, searching for any hint of deception
âtoo many to count,â you confess, âuntil you sent a letter telling me to stopâŚâ
âimpossible. i never got your lettersâÂ
your head recoils back as you try to make sense of his words, âbut-â
âwait,â he interrupts
yeosang reaches into his robes, pulling out a small, wooden block, extending it out closer to you as he asks, âdo you recognise this?â
upon closer inspection, you realise itâs a square seal stamp
it has the character âĺ§â carved into it and youâve seen it enough times to know it represents the kang family name - but the inscription that stylises the border is unfamiliar
ânot the seal, noâ
he swallows apprehensively, âi stamp all my letters with this to certify authenticityâ
you let his words sink in as they throw you into a sandstorm of bewilderment
âbut then-â
but then who wrote the letter?
and where did all your letters go?
the only people who would have known about them would be the royal couriers andâŚeunju
a memory flashes through your mind - the moment she handed you a letter with a smile
no, not a smile, you realise
a smirk
you are simultaneously overwhelmed with betrayal, guilt and apologeticness
yeosang doesnât push you for a response, and you come to recognise that you are also grateful
âiâm sorry for doubting you,â you tell him
itâs nowhere close to the amount of things you want to confess, but it is a start, one that yeosang picks up on and understands immediately
âno, iâm sorry you felt the need to doubt me,â he offers. âthat i didnât make you feel loved enoughâ
âbut i did, actually. the vase and the pastries, then our conversation last nightâŚand even todayâ
he blushes a deep red as you list the things off with your fingers
âyou werenât meant to find out about the first two,â yeosang admits as he ducks his head shyly
then he suddenly perks up with a sudden thought
he ruffles inside his satchel that had been abandoned to one side, mumbling, âmy sister said i did something to upset youâŚso i um, got you theseâÂ
he turns around to reveal a bouquet of flowers, looking a little rough for wear after being hidden in his bag all morning, but his clumsy consideration only serves to makes your heart skip dangerously
âforgive me?â he asks cheekily, and you both giggle at the absurdity of his question because it should very well be the other way around
âif you insist,â you take the bouquet into your hands
and finally, you allow the chains around your heart to fall away, âi canât say no to my husband, can i?â
yeosang lets out a little squeak as you look at the bouquet more clearly, counting the number of flowers
you turn to ask if he remembers the game you told him about, but the way yeosang suddenly finds the patch of dirt near his foot absolutely fascinating tells you everything that you need to know
eight flowers
eight letters
i l-o-v-e y-o-u
#loren writes#ateez fics#ateez smut#ateez x reader#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong smut#hongjoong scenarios#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa scenarios#yunho x reader#yunho scenarios#yeosang x reader#yeosang scenarios#ateez ot8 x reader#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez crack#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez headcanons#ateez au#royal ateez#prince ateez#prince!ateez
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uniformed!joel one shot - the police officer
series masterlist | main masterlist | part ii
pairing: police officer!joel x f!reader.
summary: you're driving back home and, unbeknownst to you, you've committed quite a few traffic offences, noticed by the one and only police officer, joel miller. he's not gonna let you get your way that easily.
a/n: umm hello?? idk what happened, but here we are. i threw this idea to the wind, people seemed to like it, so i started typing and this is what came out. read the warnings and do not judge me please lol this is inspired by this and this ask, so kudos to them! so basically i have decided to start a series of one shots where joel miller wears different uniforms. YEAH, i know, i'm not okay but that's okay. if you guys have any suggestions for this series, my askbox is open! also, i've decided that if i/you guys want, i can write the same uniformed!joel more than once (e.g. two fics of police officer!joel). if someone is interested in being in the taglist for this series, please do let me know. anyways, i do appreciate all comments, reblogs, likes and asks. as always thank you for reading! <3
warnings: 18+, mdni. no outbreak AU. dark theme. filthy smut. dub-con. age gap, no age gap, you choose (joel is mid-late 40s, reader is at least of legal drinking age). power imbalance (joel is a cop). alcohol consumption (reader is sober by the time it happens). fingering. squirting. oral (m and f receiving). mouth fucking. slut shaming. cheating. rough, public sex. unprotected piv. creampie. joel is a bully and a dick, basically, so be warned. alternating pov. no description of reader apart from having hair that can be pulled. not proofread so i'm sorry.
w/c: ~4.6k.
tagging some people who seemed to be v interested (please let me know if you want to be removed, no pressure!):
@fartcloudfartcloud @liciafonseca @fan-fiction-floozy @sweetlummie
âShitâ, you mumbled as the car keys slipped off your fingers.
You crouched down and blindly dabbed the asphalt, your phone falling off your hand too. You grunted in frustration â maybe you did drink a bit more than what you had intended. Not to the point where you thought it would be dangerous, otherwise you wouldnât be driving home. You were already clumsy when sober, so this was no sign of anything, really.
The keys had tumbled under your car, so you got on all fours and bent over to reach. After a few trials, you finally got hold of them. Steadying yourself on the handle of the driverâs side of your car, you got up. Your tiny, fitted skirt had scrunched up at your waist, so you pulled from the hem to bring it back down. Looking around, you hoped you hadnât flashed anyone.
You had dressed up for the occasion. As you grew older, your group of friends slowly drifted apart, so agreeing on a date and time to meet up had been a fucking miracle. You had been out since midday and sipped on many margaritas to quench your thirst. But knowing you would need to drive back home, you had stopped drinking a couple of hours ago. If you could, you would have gotten hammered. Living in the outskirts of Austin sucked.
You managed to finally open your vehicle and sat down. You hunched down, avoiding the steering wheel, to undo your heels. A satisfied sigh escaped your lips when you took them off â your feet were hurting so bad, you questioned all of your life choices. A minute later the motor roared awake, and you were on your merry way without a hitch.
That was until you drove out of the city center onto not very well-lit roads. You were driving through an industrial estate when sirens went off behind you. Clicking your tongue, you looked through the rearview mirror, thinking it may be an ambulance asking you to give way.
Ah, no, you were very mistaken. It was a freaking police car, and it seemed like it was asking you to pull over. Great, just fucking great, you thought.
The headlights blinded you, so you couldnât see the man approaching your car. Then you heard a tap, tap, tap on your window, the officer dazing you with the torchlight. You inhaled deeply, putting on your best smile, and rolled down the window.
âGood evening, officer. What can I do for ya?â, you battered your eyelashes at him, still dazzled by the torchlight.
Maybe if you played all sweet and innocent, he would take pity on you and let you go.
However, you were met with a deep, husky voice.
âLicense and proof of insuranceâ, he barked, no good evening miss, no please, nothing. So rude.
When he put down the torch, you caught a glimpse of the guyâs face. Bearded jaw with a prominent moustache, brown curly hair with slivers of silver, an attractive hooked nose, and some devilish hazel eyes. He was in his mid or late forties and was so fucking handsome you almost drooled at the sight.
You bit your bottom lip, a lopsided smile curling at the corners.
âYes, of course, officerâ, your voice was sweet and smooth as you bowed over the passengerâs seat, your boobs casually resting on the steering wheel.
You opened the glove box and handed him the papers, faking the most innocent, girly look you could muster.
âIs there something wrong, officer?â, you asked, leaning on the door frame, gifting him with the tentative sight of your deep cleavage.
His eyes wandered off the papers he was holding and lingered where you intended. You read the tag on his shirt: Officer Miller. Well, Officer Miller looked damn good in that tight uniform. The black shirt clung to his flexed biceps, the buttons slightly giving way to the bulge of his chest, the belt hugging his waist and⌠good fucking lord, those thighs, the size of a rugby playerâs.
Your mouth watered.
You would lie to yourself if you said you were not affected by his presence. In fact, your damp cunt might as well fucking disagree with you. You pressed your knees together, unconsciously looking for some relief to the sudden wet heat gathering in between your legs.
His eyes drifted up lazily, locking on to yours. You swore a muscle on his jaw twitched.
âYou were speeding, doing 40 on a 30-mph road. And your headlights are offâ, he replied, his tone raspy.
Fuuuuuuuck, thatâs why I couldnât see shit. Were you that drunk? You didnât feel like it.
Your face expression didnât flinch, playing dumb might just do the trick. So you giggled, smacking your forehead with the palm of your hand.
âAh, silly me. But it was well lit up until now, sir, so no harm done, right?â, your honeyed voice pleaded. âI swear this was a 40-mph road a couple of months ago?â
âIt was but got changed. Did you not see the road sign?â, he seemed to be very annoyed.
You had no time to answer, because Officer Miller pointed to your lap. For a second you panicked â surely your arousal had not drenched your clothes, right? You were aware of how wet your pussy was, but not to that extreme. Right? You looked down â your phone was resting on your lap, but nothing else. A wave of relief overcame you and then you glanced up at him, confused.
âYou were talking on the phone while driving, I presume.â
You gasped and promptly shook no with your head.
âNo, no, officer. You see, I left it there when I got in the car, I forgot it was on my lap. I promise I wasnât texting or anything like that.â Your explanation was genuine, but he cocked a brow. âI wouldnât lie to you, sir.â
âWhy? Because youâre a good girl?â. That question caught you off guard and turned you on at the same time, sending shivers down your spine. Your clit twitched. You gaped and nodded unwittingly. âI see. Step out of the car.â
Your heart was racing, attempting to jump out of your chest. Maybe you had been too suggestive. But he was the embodiment of the law, surely the officer had had his good share of temptation and would not yield so easily.
You got out of your sedan, slightly dishevelled, and tugged at your skirt so it would stop riding up your thighs. Officer Miller had taken one step back, his eyes measuring you from top to bottom, loitering on your breasts. His tongue quickly darted out to wet his bottom lip â you were mesmerised by the simple gesture and pondered how it would feel if you choked on his tongue.
That thought made your cunt gush some more. You pursed your lips â eyes on him, trying to convey normalcy.
âYouâve been drinking and have also been driving barefoot. Thatâs a total of, what, five offences?â. Miller clicked his tongue in disapproval. âItâs like youâre begging to spend the night in a cell.â His eyes flickered with malice â and something else. Lust?
You really did not want to sleep in a cell tonight. You just wanted to get home, that was all. Also, most of your âoffencesâ were bullshit. You were certain he couldnât charge you with half of it, but his wickedness made you wary.
âIâm not drunk,â you said with a languid smile, touching his forearm, his arms crossed at his chest. âI stopped drinking two hours ago, officer.â
He raised an eyebrow â Officer Miller didnât believe a word you said.
âI can smell it.â You didnât know if it was intentional or not, but his eyes drifted down to your pussy.
âI-It?â, you repeated, lips parted.
He didnât say anything, just stared at you for a long minute. Your bravery had flaked a bit, although your cunt was begging for him to do something about it.
Joel was having a hard time curbing his horniness. You were so inviting, so insinuating, it was like you were asking to be fucked there and then. Oh, yes, you were, he knew you were. Showing off your boobs, wetting your lips, rubbing your knees together, playing with the edge of your tiny skirt. He had noticed every single one of your seductive attempts.
His cock was hard, so much so that it was stretching against the zipper of his work trousers. He kept his arms crossed, but what he really wanted to do was to readjust his erection so it wouldnât be so damn uncomfortable.
âTurn around, hands on the carâ, he ordered with a steely voice.
You first looked muddled, but finally obliged, giving him your back â your palms resting on the roof of your car, your knees pressed together. He was sure your cunt was pulsing, and you were just trying to calm yourself down.
The thought made him mad with lechery. His dick was throbbing already.
âIâm going to pat you down, and then Iâm gonna cuff you. Understood?â, he warned you, getting close to you.
You suddenly looked over your shoulder, your smile unwavering. You tilted your pelvis back, your ass against his bulge. You glanced down and then back up at him decisively.
âIâm sure we can work something out, officer?â, you whispered, your butt pressing on his swollen lump.
No, Joel was not imagining things. You were definitely asking to be fucked senseless in exchange for just a warning. He was still contemplating whether to entertain the idea or not. You were tempting, he would give you that. Your body was built to satisfy a manâs pleasure â he could see that even when you were clothed. Barely clothed. Your top was too small, your boobs almost spilling over the neckline; your skirt was too short, your ass cheeks almost visible â and he was sure you had some slutty heels on before you jumped into the car.
His cock jerked at the thought of rearranging your guts. Because that was what Joel would do to you if he had the chance. He cupped his groin for a second now that you were not looking, pressing it slightly to relieve some of the tension.
It didnât help. If anything, it made it worse. He suppressed a frustrated groan.
Joel slotted his right knee in between your legs and forced you to separate them, his heavy boot grounding him. âIâll think about it. In the meantime, youâre under arrest for at least reckless driving. Now stay still.â He was fully aware of how the top of his thigh brushed your crotch, but made a titanic effort to ignore it, for his own sanity.
Your panties were so fucking drenched, you feared your discharge might start dripping down your inner thighs. In fact, you let your head down to check discreetly and sighed with relief â nothing to worry about, he wouldnât notice how fucking horny you were.
Then he forcefully parted your legs, and you felt the fabric of his trousers sliding against your wet panties. The subtle touch made you jerked your hips up and then back down in surprise, your clothed cunt flushed against his thigh â you had to swallow the sluttiest moan of your entire life, it felt damn good.
âIâmâ Iâm sorryâ, you mumbled, lifting your body up to break the contact.
You didnât need to look down to know that there would be a wet patch on his black trousers.
âYou should be, making a mess of my uniform like thatâ, he grunted, exasperated.
Pressing your lips, you inspected every inch of the roof of your car while he patted you down. His big, calloused hands lingered on your underboob longer than necessary, almost cupping them. Both hands travelled down to your waist, his fingertips slightly under the waistband of your skirt.
Your heart was pounding, suddenly unsure of the whole thing. What were you really doing? Were you so desperate that you would let him use you in exchange for letting you go? Were you getting more than what you had bargained for?
It was like the excitement had burnt the last drop of alcohol in your blood and now you were fully aware of what you had unleashed.
But you had no more time to question your attitude, because Officer Miller completely slipped one of his hands under your underwear and buried all of his fingers in your soaked folds, except for his thumb which quickly found your clit. You shut your eyes and moaned audibly, your knees giving way.
His free hand wrapped around your waist to help you stand up, while his fingers traversed your whole slit, from your perineum to your clit, buttering your cunt with your own fluids.
âYou are so fucking wet already, you should be ashamed of yourselfâ, he whispered in your ear while he pushed your ass back into his bulge.
Your treacherous body had awakened at his touch, your clit felt like it was on fire and your cunt was pulsating so hard it was uncomfortable. You rubbed his dick with your buttocks, unconsciously looking for some more friction. Miller groaned behind you, jerking you closer, his cock hard pressed against your ass.
Two of his fingers dipped further down and found your leaking hole, his thumb still rubbing your clit languidly. You whimpered and stirred your hips when one fingertip circled your entrance tentatively. Your back arched, pushing your butt further into his erection.
âArenât you a slut?â, he hissed as both fingers slid inside you, your brain not registering his words.
Your moist pussy clenched around his fingers, squeezing them hard. Every time your heart beat, so did your cunt. Officer Miller started fingering you, first slowly, and then picking up a relentless pace. Unable to control yourself, you mewled like a kitten in heat, your forehead now resting against the cold metal of your car and a thread of spit hanging from your mouth. Your needy cunt was so stimulated, so hot, so slippery, you couldnât stop yourself from coming, even if you wanted to.
So you let go. You orgasmed so hard, you squirted with his fingers still dug in your creamy pussy. But you coming didnât stop Officer Miller from driving his digits inside of you over and over again, forcing another climax on you a minute later. Your inner walls palpitated so violently, you felt the emptiness of your womb. Then you noticed it: the trickle of your own cum streaming down your inner thighs.
Officer Miller forced his fingers out of you, a pop sound making it obvious that your pussy was drown in your own fluids. The cop tapped your pussy a few times, almost gently, as the last wave washed off your nerve endings. You had never come so hard in your life before. Not even your boyfriend of five years had been able to turn you on this bad.
When your limbs regained some strength, Miller let go of your waist and stepped back. You slowly turned around to face him, but as your eyes drifted down his uniform, you realised that there was a new wet patch on his trousers, this time on his bulge. You had leaked so much, you had drenched his own pants.
You tried to find the words to explain to him that this was not what you had intended. Or was it?
âYouâre still under arrestâ, his voice was resolute, as if nothing of what just happened had affected him.
Before your neurons could make contact with each other, he handcuffed you, your laced hands resting in front of you, conveniently covering your spent pussy.
âButââ.
âNo butâs, blackmailing a cop is an offence too. So that makes it six now, right?â, he cut you off.
You huffed, not believing what he was saying. You had not blackmailed him, not even close, he was just making it up now. Before you could argue, Officer Miller removed the keys from the ignition, shut the driverâs door and locked your car. He then grabbed you by your elbow, forcing you to walk in front of him towards his cruiser.
âOh, câmon, youâre now just bullying meâ, you complained, your sweet façade quickly toppling.
Miller didnât reply to your taunting. He simply opened the back door of his Crown Vic and threw you in. You almost tripped but manage to stop the falling. You sat down on the seat, your legs still out of the car, bare soles against the asphalt.
You didnât know what possessed you, but your cuffed hands darted up and played with the buckle of his belt. Maybe if you gave him some head, he would relax and let you go. You were already in too deep anyway, your whipped pussy living proof of your desire.
âOfficer, please, I can make it worth your while if you let me goâ, you muttered, your fingers unclasping his belt.
Miller did not say one word, he just stared you down while you held his gaze. His waist slanted forward in an unspoken invitation, his eyes swirling with lust and wickedness.
You were not sure why you were doing this, or if you wanted to do this. But you were a horny mess, your pulsing cunt urging you to keep going, saturating your panties even more. Sure, you could drive home and ask your boyfriend to take care of you, but by the looks of it, you were going to spend the night in a station cell if you didn't do something about it. About him.
With firm hands, you undid the buckle and unzipped his trousers. His big, meaty cock sprung out with no warning, swaying in front of you. He was wearing no underwear. You marvelled at the sight â his dick was the longest you had ever seen with a considerable girth, veiny and hairy at the base. It looked scary, but also fucking tempting.
âDonât just stare, do somethingâ, he commanded, grabbing your cuffed hands to bring them closer to his erection.
Ah, someone is impatient, you thought with a smirk before wrapping both of your hands around his circumference. With your mouth agape, close to his leaking tip, you rubbed the precum against his slit with your thumb and then started pumping him. His cock was palpitating, hard and velvety under your clasp â and warm, so fucking warm you could feel his blood rushing underneath.
His jaw clenched, his eyes transfixed on your moving hands as you upped the rhythm. And then, without prior notice, he fisted your hair in a ponytail and drove his whole dick down your parted lips. You retched when his glans surpassed your uvula and coughed with his cock still in your mouth.
You were suffocating, but he didnât give a fuck. In any case, he pushed his cock further down, but it had nowhere to go. His pubic hairs tingled the tip of your nose as you looked up, silently asking for mercy with teary eyes.
Miller glanced down at you and the motherfucker just smiled as you were still gagging.
âLook at you. What a whore, youâre taking it so wellâ, he mumbled under his breath before pushing your head back.
His cock slid out and you coughed to clear your throat of precum, swallowing it. His brutish attitude, although unwelcome, made your traitor of a cunt gush.
âIâm gonna fuck your throat to teach you a lesson. Open up for me, darlinâ.â
You didnât know why, but you just obeyed. Without breaking visual contact, the cop slotted his cock back in between your lips. With his hands on your temples, he tilted his hips forward until his tip stroked the end of your throat. Then he pulled out harshly and started jackhammering your mouth relentlessly, driving his cock in as far as he could every single time, his hairy balls hitting your chin. With Miller taking the lead, your cuffed hands were free. They were lazily resting on your lap until you dipped them down, your index caressing your deprived clit.
You just took it like a champ. After a while, your gag reflex relaxed and you dared to press your lips around his girth, so it would be more pleasurable for him. His slick cock was drumming in your mouth, filling it up entirely, choking you.
Miller pulled your head back sternly â you were panting like a puppy by the time he was done with your throat. Your eyelashes were damp with unspent tears. You were sure that tomorrow it was going to hurt like if you had caught the worst cold of your life. Your mouth was filled with his sticky precum, a bridge of it connecting your mouth to his cock.
âYouâve not thrown up, well doneâ, he chuckled darkly. âClean this mess for me.â
Again, as if you were not in control of yourself, you did as you were told. You licked his throbbing cock, swallowing all the fluids you had swept off his groin.
He lightly patted your cheek. âGood girl, now get up and take that finger out of your pussy.â
You had not realised you had been fingering yourself all along and your clit was begging for some relief. With a trembling sigh, you removed your hand from in between your legs and stood up.
Only then you caught on: he had not come yet. Fuck, you thought.
Did you want this? You were not sure. Letting him finger you and giving him head was one thing, but letting him fuck you was a completely different story. You were not a slut nor a cheater, but he made you feel like one. Your dribbling pussy made you feel like one.
Joel snatched his fingers around your elbow once again and made you walk to the front of his cruiser. He was in extreme need of relief â his cock was pulsing so hard it was driving him mad with lust. He was gonna fuck that cunt of yours till you begged him to stop.
Unceremoniously, he splayed you down across the hood of his car â your chest against the metal surface, your ass up in the air and your legs spread wide. If he could take a picture to jerk himself off to, he would.
He needed to see for himself, taste for himself. He was sure as hell that your pussy was drooling, beseeching to be filled to the brim. So he knelt behind you and parted your ass cheeks to have a better look. You whimpered, tiptoeing to give him better access to your soaked flaps.
âYouâre such a slut. I could scrunch your panties to fill up an entire glass with your cum. Your thighs are all wet and tacky tooâ, he couldnât stop himself from pointing it out, driving his hands up from the back of your knees, up your inner thighs, until they reached your crotch, framing your pussy.
He leaned forward and sipped from the fountain of your underwear, his fingers digging in the flesh of your ass, smelling your sweet sex. You wept, moving your hips against his mouth. Ah, yes, he knew you wanted him to fuck you hard. Very hard.
Joel rode up your tight skirt, exposing your ass to the elements. And then he pulled down your panties and put them in the pocket of his vest, as if they were a trophy. Because they were.
He now could have a better look at your creamy cunt, all smeared with your wanton fluids. Spreading your pussy open with his hands, he lapped you entirely a few times, even your butthole. Joel heard your moans loud and clear, knowing that you had never had your pussy eaten this good before. So he kept on going â lapping, licking, sucking, biting until you squirted in his mouth, leaking like a broken tap and whining like a bitch in heat.
Joel drank it all and when you were finished, he stood up. He spanked your ass and with a swift movement, impaled you until his balls were flat against your thighs.
You screamed, literally screamed at the top of your lungs, when he stabbed you with his cock. You tried to hold onto something, but there was nothing you could grab. This was exactly what your cunt needed, being stuffed like a goddamn turkey in thanksgiving. Officer Miller drove his cock in and out of you lazily at first, and then he started fucking you stupid with such vigour that your body was being rocked back and forth, the handcuffs sliding against the hood, scratching the metal underneath.
You just moaned uncontrollably throughout the whole thing, unable to quieten yourself. Your cunt clutched around his throbbing dick, squeezing it hard, so hard you felt your muscles strain. Your clit spasmed severely, another fucking climax creeping up on you.
âFuck, fuck, fuck, FUCKâ, you implored to the sky, to him, to whoever was listening.
The cop then fisted your hair in a ponytail and pulled backwards, forcing you up off the hood, your back arching against his chest while he drilled you mercilessly. You were sure the squelching sounds your pussy was making could be heard from a mile away.
Then you finally came again, shrieking â your treacherous pussy clamping down on his dick, leaking absolutely everywhere, trying to desperately milk him dry. Your eyes welled up, your black eyeliner running down your cheeks.
âYouâre gonna take it inside and youâre not gonna complainâ, he moaned in your ear and even in your blissful daze, you panicked.
âIâve got a boyfriend,â you mentioned, but you knew it wasnât going to stop him.
âAh, do you? Doesnât seem like it right nowâ, and then he huffed heavily, letting go, driving his cock as far inside of you as he physically could.
His warm cum filled you to the brim, painting your walls of sticky white. Irremediably, you sighed, heaving, and closed your eyes, letting yourself rejoice in how full you were of his spent, of his cock.
And as soon as it started, it ended. His dick slid out of your crying, sensitive pussy, leaving your damp skin exposed to the cold air.
You took a minute to compose yourself and pushing down your skirt. When you looked at him, he had already tucked away his cock back in his work trousers, his cop uniform slightly in disarray. Now there were more wet, sticky patches adorning his groin area, a mixture of your shared pleasure.
âCan I have my panties back, please?â, you requested, extending your hand to him, with a sunny, albeit quivering, smile.
âNo, Iâm keeping them.â You furrowed your eyebrows.
âCan I at least have a tissue to clean myself up?â, your voice grew smaller as you lost confidence.
âNo. I want you to go home with your pussy bursting with my cum, so that boyfriend of yours knows youâve been fucked stupid by someone elseâ, he explained, full of himself.
At least you were going home. Or so you thought until you saw him walk to the back door of his Crown Vic, holding it open for you to jump in.
âThis means nothing, youâre still spending the night in the cellâ, he said, matter-of-factly.
You scoffed, angry. âAre you fucking serious?â, you asked, although what you really wanted to do was cry.
But you swallowed your tears, contrite â your pride was bigger than your shame. And right now, you felt mortified.
What had you done?
Well, you had gambled, and you lost.
But, on the other hand, he had fucked you so good, so filthy, you were not sure any other cock would measure up to his.
#uniformed!joel#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal smut#the last of us#tlou#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller ff#pedro pascal ff#pedro pascal character#pedro pascal fandom#pedro pascal cinematic universe#ppcu#pedro pascal fanfiction#joel miller fanfiction#pedrohub#ppedit#pedropascaledit#ppascaledit
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I admit I was caught off-guard to see this post getting notes out of nowhere djndjdbfjdbdj
I think you make some good points, and ones that I donât see a lot of people making, and since this reply Iâve gotten some additional commentary in the tags (that Iâll mention but wonât go screenshot hunting for bc Iâm on mobile)
First Iâll mention is a question from someone asking if Frisk ever got an age confirmed. A few months ago I was replaying UT and got this dialogue for decorating Gyftrot.
If Gyftrotâs remark is correct, thatâd put them in the 13-17 range (or I suppose up to 18-19 if you wanted to go the âadult teenâ range). Given their dialogue options during the roleplay portion of Alphysâ hangout/fake date, and the way the characters you mentioned treat them vs how they behave, it would be fitting.
Same person who asked that question also brought up Monster Kidâs remark about âstriped shirt = kidâ and assumed that to be the overarching joke, which was the assumption Iâve been working with (or maybe still is, idk I gotta let the information brew for a bit). If theyâre correct itâd be that XKCD quote:
I think the biggest source of conflict for me is the fact that most of the people who actually have experience with humans are also very old. (Though thereâs Alphys who watches human media and Sans who has whatever the FUCK is going on with his backstory, to push closer to them being younger.)
Regarding the dates, the only character whoâs actually genuine in their attempt (even if he fails at it) is Papyrus, whose age is specifically lampshaded (Monster Kid says they arenât sure if heâs an adult or kid). My (and othersâ) leaning toward Papyrus being an adult did contribute to my assumption of Frisk being an adult as well, though between his age being even more ambiguous than Friskâs, his general confusion about romance, and what you mentioned about no one BUT those select few ppl knowing that theyâre young could indicate that not being the case.
Why did the entire Undertale fandom collectively decide that Frisk is 3-8 when they repeatedly flirt with people and go on a romantic date with Papyrus (who fully intended to be attracted to them but couldn't and feels as though this is a failing on his part) and even was supposed to have a robot husband at one point in development.
I tried being shitposty and goofy about it a year or two ago but no one took me seriously then so I'm phrasing it as a genuine question this time. Why is everyone so content to pretend this recurring aspect of their character just doesn't exist.
#another thing of note is that a lot of technically messed up things that happen to frisk in the story get tonally ignored and brushed off#like. they can die a couple of times. they can take a hit. it's chill. look! they don't mind#it's the main thing that completely threw undertale yellow tonally out of wack when you realize it#you can't have the story and characters constantly turn to the camera and announce how messed up this is and remark that clover is a child#and then expect to be able to pull of the same flippant and nonchalant tone of the original in regards to violence#+ the adult cast all being chill w/ a child fucking killing themself! that's bad homie!! that's real bad and you pointed it out yourself!!#<- previous#I like your tags a lot and do agree with your uty commentary#did it make for some funny jokes? yes. did it also create some heavy tonal dissonance? also yes#long post#self reblog#thanks for the reply tho. gonna let my brain chew on this for a bit
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Drunken Words, Sober Thoughts (pt.2)
Logan Howlett x fem reader
divider credit
Warnings: MDNI/18+, mostly porn w little plot, unprotected sex (wrap it up pls), fem!reader, being referred to as a girl, use of pet names, very light choking, filming sex/making a sex tape, swearing, I believe that is it but if i missed any pls lmk <3 I also didnât proofread this one as much as I usually do so forgive me for any mistakes or inconsistencies!
Summary: [based on this ask] I donât know what to really say for this one cause I feel like the ask explains it perfectly lol, but part 1 is here if you want to read it but this also works as a stand alone thing. I did tweak a couple of things from the ask but nothing major!
Word count: 5.5K
Since you and Logan had gotten to know each other a little better, you were over his and Wadeâs apartment sometimes more than your own. Heâd begun to make himself comfortable in yours too, finding himself waking up in your decorative sheets with the morning sun shining onto the pictures taped to your wall. It was a comfortable routine youâd started; waking up in each other's beds, going out to eat at some 24 hour diner when neither of you could sleep, talking with each other till the sun came up. Weekends with Wade even turned to weekends with Wade and Logan, your legs slung over your boyfriend's lap with his arm around your shoulder.
Unfortunately for him, though, you and Wade would not budge on Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
âI still donât get it,â he grumbled next to you on the couch, quirking an eyebrow at you and his roommate, âwhat the hell are they famous for, anyway?â
âWell,â you began to explain, raising the remote to mute the TV, âtheir dad was a really famous lawyer, he defended O-â
âNope,â Wade piped up from beside you through a mouthful of chips, âyou know thatâs not the real reason theyâre famous, cupcake.â
You turned to narrow your eyes at him, âCâmon, you donât mean -â
âMhm,â he hummed, eyes flickering from you to the muted TV so he could read the subtitles without missing a beat.
âWhat?â Logan finally asked, clearly frustrated that neither of you would clue him in.
You sighed, rolling your eyes and laughing a bit to yourself, âOkay, so, Kim? The main sister?â
He nodded, âthe one with the huge -â
âYes, her.â
âUh-huh.â
âOkay, she used to date this singer Ray J and in the early two thousands, they made a sex tape. It got leaked somehow and she kinda shot into fame and I guess her family followed,â you explained simply.
âYou should show him the tape,â Wade chimed in again, taking the remote from your lap and unmuting the TV.
âJesus, Iâm not gonna do that,â you shook your head, âI donât think heâd wanna see it.â
âYouâd be right,â Logan agreed, cringing a little.
âYou two should make your own, then. You can finally be famous for somethinâ else, peanut!â Wade suggested, poking at his roommate's shoulder, âplus, with a pretty girl? Man, that would blow up.â
You rolled your eyes and scoffed. That was seemingly the end of the discussion, except Logan couldnât get Wadeâs words to leave his brain.
You two should make your own, then.
It stuck with him to the point that he was staring at his ceiling that night, listening to your steady breathing as you slept beside him, still unable to think of anything else. It was a bad idea, wasnât it? He couldnât ask you to do that with him. Could he?
He couldnât shake the image of you on the screen of some camera, your back to his chest as he fucked you from behind and you batted your pretty eyes at the lens. Heâd never let another soul see it, it would be something just between the two of you - something heâd definitely keep to watch a million times over. He looked around his apartment the next day after you'd gone to work to see if maybe Wade had an old camera somewhere - one he wouldnât miss if he never saw it again. He dug out a silver camcorder from the junk drawer in the kitchen, turning it over in his hands. It looked like one youâd find on a shelf in a radioshack - when they were still around - something youâd use to film a kidâs high school graduation in the mid two thousands. As long as it worked, it would do. He fumbled the thing open, pressing a couple buttons before the screen finally lit up and gave him the option to look through the album. There were only three things on there - a blurry picture of Wadeâs shoes, an even blurrier picture of half of his face and a twelve second video of him trying to film Logan while he swatted the camera out of his hands and onto the floor.
He found a charger and hooked it up to the wall, already thinking over how exactly he was going to approach the subject with you. If he was going to be able to do what heâd been thinking about, that camera had to be charged to last for at least a couple of hours. Heâd planned to stay the night at your place and figured heâd try to work up the nerve to ask then.
He found himself on your couch later that night, his thighs spread while you sat in his lap and played with his hair. He was leaving kisses down your throat, his hands on the sides of your thighs.
âCan I ask you somethinâ, sweetheart?â he mumbled into your skin. He pulled his face away to look into your eyes.
âHm?â you raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.
He almost felt dirty for what he was about to ask of you - like he was perverted for even considering it when you looked at him so sweetly.
His eyes moved from your face to his jacket laying beside him and he reached into the pocket, pulling out the small camera.
âI kinda wanted to try somethinâ a little different.â
Your lips parted when you realized what he was holding, eyes flickering from the device to his face. He watched your lips curl up into a smile. You knew instantly what he was about to ask when you remembered your conversation from the night before.
âYou wanna film a sex tape?â
He swallowed hard, fearful that you were about to scoff and lift yourself off him. Instead, you rested your hand over his that held the camera, âI wonder where you got that idea.â
You took it from his hand, flipping it open and turning it on. You held it up and hit record, smirking when he rolled his eyes at you.
âI didnât say I wanted my face all in it,â he scoffed, a smile tugging at his lips.
âWhat, you think Iâm gonna let you only film me?â you pulled the camera from your face, quirking an eyebrow at him, âuh-uh, babe. If this is gonna be our sex tape, I want you in it.â
He huffed, glaring at you through the lens.
âBesides,â you continued, âyouâre acting like you're the only one who's gonna like it.â
âSo, youâre not upset that I asked?â
You shook your head, âUpset that a hot guy asked to film himself screwing my brains out? Hell no.â
He gnawed at his bottom lip and watched you fiddle with the camera, clicking through settings and trying out filters. Screw your brains out, huh? He could do that. He wouldn't admit it even if you asked, but he was turned on beyond belief from the idea that youâd watch it when he wasnât with you - he liked the idea of putting on a performance for you, giving you what you want so youâd stuff the little vibrator you kept in the drawer of your nightstand inside your aching pussy when you watched it back, your eyes trained on his face and remembering how good heâd made you feel.
âItâs kind of an older camera,â Logan began, his hands wrapping around the back of your thighs, âmaybe we should test it out, see if it works?â
âOh, should we?â
He stood up in seconds, his strong arms holding you up by your thighs as he carried you to your room. You giggled, your arms wrapped around the back of his neck. You held the camera up to film yourself. Your face was in frame, Logan only visible by the back of his head as you stretched your arm out.
âThis is my very sexy boyfriend, taking me to bed,â you narrated, kissing the side of his face.
âShut up,â he grumbled, burying his face in your neck as he nudged your door open with his foot. He dropped you onto the bed and you kept the camera trained on him as he crawled over you.
âYouâre gonna keep that damn thing on my face the whole time?âÂ
He leaned over you with his hands on either side of your head, his bulging muscles even more prominent from your angle underneath him. His tongue stuck out the corner of his mouth, licking over his lips. You wouldnât mind if the whole video was just from this angle.
âYou look fucking hot.â
He was a little taken back by your compliment. Even after months of sleeping together, he still wasnât used to the praise, dismissing you with a scoff or simply hiding his red face.
âLook whoâs talkinâ.â
Logan snatched the camera from your hands in one quick swipe, sitting back on his heels so he could get all of you in frame. You sat up, tugging your shirt over your head and tossing it somewhere off the bed, leaving you in your bra and jeans. You looked angelic underneath him with your hair spread around your head like a halo, your chest heaving in excitement. You bit your lip and grabbed the end of his shirt to pull him closer to you, lidded eyes staring up at him.
âFuck.â
He groaned, letting you pull him down and slip your tongue into his mouth. He haphazardly placed the camera on your bedside table, glancing at it momentarily to make sure it was on before diving back onto you.
His hands slid up your back and under the band of your bra. He unhooked the clasp and pushed the straps down your shoulders, pulling the garment from your chest and licking his lips in awe. It didnât matter how often he saw you naked; each time was like the first.
His mouth latched onto your chest almost immediately, swirling his tongue and sucking in a way that elicited a moan from your lips. Your back arched and he hooked his arm around your waist to pull you as close as possible. He was sucking dark marks into your soft skin, leaving each one shiny with his saliva. If there was one thing you were sure of with Logan, it was that he really loved being messy when he toyed with you.
He dragged his lips from your chest down your waistband, leaving tender kisses on your stomach and sides. Over time, heâd slowly gotten more affectionate - more loving and emotional - during sex. He always showed it the best he could, but he was clearly becoming more comfortable being vulnerable with you. He still had his animalistic and rough ways about him, but now it was combined with soft kisses to your nose and forehead, mumbled praises into your mouth and declarations of love while you panted from the pace of his thrusts.Â
Logan stopped at the waistband of your jeans, his fingers popping the metal button with little hesitation. You wordlessly lifted your hips for him to drag them down your thighs, leaving you only in your panties. He leaned over to grab the camera from the table, leaning back a bit to get you in frame.
âSo fuckinâ pretty,â he huffed, his free hand immediately sliding between your thighs to graze his fingers against the damp fabric, âall for me?â
You nodded, hooded eyes and parted lips posing for the camera, âyours, all yours.â
Logan was chewing on his bottom lip while he admired you from behind the camera. He knew without a doubt that you were the prettiest girl heâd ever been with; none of those dirty magazines or tapes heâd seen over the years could even compare to what was in front of him now. You were positively heavenly, a type of beauty so alluring that it bordered being otherworldly.Â
He finally used his free hand to remove your panties when you lifted your hips, set on recording as much as he could from the perspective he had because fuck, it was a good one.
Laying in front of him - completely bare - with the camera focused on you made you feel vulnerable and a little shy and Logan was always able to read you.
He wanted to focus on you even more, but he instead handed the device over to you when he sensed your mild discomfort, the lens facing him.
âHere,â was all he said, letting you bring the camera up to your eye before he tugged his t-shirt over his head. He knew you clearly enjoyed filming him and even if he didnât love the idea of being the object of attention, he wanted you to be comfortable and heâd sacrifice his own comfort for you any day. So, once he was shirtless, he stood off the bed in front of you to strip himself of his jeans and boxers, letting his hard cock spring up to hit his stomach when he took off the latter.
You had - fortunately for you - figured out the zoom option on the camera and used it to perfectly frame his leaking cock as the only thing in the shot, bobbing when he moved towards you to take the device back. When he did, he set it on the table next to the bed, messing with the same zoom option so that the shot was of you sitting up with your legs spread and your cunt aching to be touched.
Settling himself on his stomach between your legs, he hiked your thighs onto his shoulder, his mouth inches from your heat.
âDo me a favor, sweetheart,â he began and you nodded, ready to agree to anything he asked of you, âbe as loud as you can, yeah? Wanna be able to hear yaâ on tape.â
He instantly delved his tongue into you, making you gasp. You tenderly rested your hands on his arms that were hooked around your thighs as if you were encouraging him to stay there.
He ate you every time like he was starving, his cheeks and chin always slick with saliva and sap from between your legs when he finally pulled himself off you.
You did as he instructed - though, you were probably going to do it anyway - moaning openly as he licked stripes up your dripping cunt so he could circle his tongue around your clit.Â
âOh my god,â you whined, your thighs clamping around his head out of instinct. He let you thread your fingers through his hair, tugging at the dark strands to help angle his head and making him growl with his mouth still suctioned to you.
You felt around beside you for the camera, fumbling with it till you had the lens angled at him in between your legs.
âFuck, L-Logan,â you panted, lovingly caressing his temple with your free hand.
âMhm,â he hummed into you, the vibration pulling a whimper from your throat, âyou like holding that thing, huh?â
Your eyes were glued to his through the small screen.
âYouâre so fucking hot, of course I do,â you sighed, your lips parted and chest heaving.
He scoffed in amusement, continuing to slip his tongue between your folds and prod at your entrance. With his face still buried in you and his eyes closed in concentration, he took the camera from you and set it back on the table. He used his arms around your thighs to yank you further down the bed so you were flat on your back. You watched in awe as he spat a mouthful of saliva right onto your already soaked pussy, using his fingers to swipe his spit all over you. Latching his lips back onto your clit, he easily slipped two of his digits into you, feverishly pumping in and out. Your moans grew louder with each thrust of his fingers, echoing off your walls along with the wet noises that came from your soaked cunt.Â
âYouâre such a good girl for me, lettinâ me eat your pretty pussy,â he rambled, voice muffled by your thighs, âalways so fuckinâ good.â
You inhaled sharply when he gently rolled your clit between his teeth, licking after like a balm to soothe the searing sensation. You thought you couldnât moan any louder until he replaced his fingers inside you with his tongue, angling his mouth in a way that made his nose nudge your bundle of nerves.
âOnly good for you,â you managed to choke out, turning your head to the side to bury it in your pillow, âonly for you.â
His hand slid up to grope your chest, pinching your nipple between his fingers. He slid it up even further to grab your chin and turn your head so you were forced to look at him.Â
âEyes on me, baby,â he grumbled.
âAh - uh-huh,â you tried to make some noise of agreement but were overwhelmed with how he was expertly tracing your cunt with his tongue.
Until he detached his mouth from you completely.
You groaned in frustration and knitted your eyebrows, silently asking why he stopped.
âUse your words or Iâll stop. Yaâ got it?â
His stern voice sent shivers down your spine.Â
âYes, baby, please -â
His tongue was already back in between your folds by the time you said yes. He kept his vice like grip around your thighs, deciding heâd be content if he died right there with his head between your legs.
âLove when you - when you - fuck - eat me out,â you panted, âyou make me feel so good.â
You knew how much he secretly loved the praise, catching the way he ground his hips into the mattress to find some sort of relief whenever you told him he was doing a good job, that he was so handsome, that you loved what he was doing to you. He was usually the dominant one in the relationship, whispering praises in your ear while you were underneath him, but you knew him well enough by now to have figured out that he loved when you did it back.
âYouâre perfect, Logan, I - ah - I love you,â you gasped when his fingers pumped back into you.
It wasnât all about sex with you two - though it was a wonderful part of your relationship - and yet heâd discovered that heâd never felt more loved than he had when he was with you, declaring your love for him while he completely devoted himself to you with his face in your pussy.Â
âI love you, too, pretty girl,â he grunted, âlove fuckinâ you with my mouth.â
His filthy words fueled the fire building in your lower stomach and you tugged at his hair in an attempt to warn him.
â âm gonna come,â you slurred, ankles locked on Loganâs back to keep him in place.
âCome for me, beautiful, câmon,â he coaxed while his fingers abused the spot inside of you that made you whimper to encourage him to keep going, âwant it all, want you to come on my face.â
That was definitely what sent you over the edge, mumbling unintelligible praises as he lapped up anything that had spilled out of you and onto his tongue.Â
âTastes so damn good,â he heaved, his fingers still working at a consistent pace, âI think I can pull another one outta you.â
You felt tears beginning to form in your eyes from the overstimulation, crying out when he grazed your swollen clit with his teeth.
â âs too - too much,â you tried to pull his head away by tugging his hair, to no avail.Â
Heâd let you go, but not without one more taste of you.
It only took a couple more flicks of his tongue to have you arching your back, tears rolling down the sides of your face as you gushed around his fingers for a second time.
When he finally slipped his fingers out of you and heâd left the comfortable spot between your warm thighs, you could see that his entire lower face was almost completely slick with a mix of his spit and your cum. He was licking his lips, trying to savor the taste of you but making no attempt to wipe anything off his chin or cheeks. He was in love with you but he was also in love with the reality that he got to do this to you, that he got to taste every bit, that you wanted him to. You sat up to give him a desperate kiss - a clash of tongues and teeth that tasted entirely of you. You finally pulled away to admire his face.
Seeing him with his hair disheveled from your repeated tugging, his lips near swollen and raw and his cheeks still shining made you crave the idea of returning the favor.Â
âSit on the edge of the bed, baby.â
Though he was usually the one giving orders instead of following them, he obliged anyway. His cock was still leaking in anticipation, hard against his stomach. When you got down on your knees in front of him, he couldnât hide the excited smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He never expected you to return the favor when he used his mouth on you - content with that being a reward itself - but when you did? You usually left him shaking.
You took the camera from the table and handed it up to Logan, eager eyes following the lens.
âCan I suck your cock? Please?â
You knew he loved it when you begged and you always used it to get him exactly where you wanted him, especially when you looked up at him with those pleading eyes.
âGo ahead, baby,â he used his free hand to loosely hold your hair back in his fist, âI know you like havinâ it in your mouth, huh?â
You nodded eagerly, your hand wrapping around the base of his shaft. You hovered your mouth over his tip, letting a glob of spit drip from your lips so you could coat his cock in it before you tried to take him in your throat. Youâd done it before, but he was huge and every time you tried to prep to make it easier. Your jaw even became sore sometimes from how wide youâd have to keep your mouth open. You never complained, though, because the mere idea of having the weight of Loganâs heavy cock in your mouth was enough to make you drool.
You spread your saliva up and down, leaning forward and dragging his tip across your parted lips while staring up at the lens of the camera.
âJesus Christ,â he muttered, focused on you through the small screen, âsuch a fucking tease.â
You grinned, placing a light kiss on his tip before engulfing him into your mouth, tongue sliding along his slit to taste the small amount of precum thatâd dripped from him when he first sat up. You suctioned and began to work up a pace, taking him as far as you could into your mouth while your hand stroked the rest of him.
âI love giving you head,â you admitted in the most sultry way possible when you popped your lips off his tip, long lashes batting up at him. It wasnât a lie, either, and that was clear by how sloppy you loved to be whenever it was your turn to be on your knees. If you had at least one thing in common, it was that you wanted to worship each other as much as possible. You wanted to leave him in a state of euphoria the same way he did you, just as messily dedicated to making sure he came.
âYeah? I can tell, sweetheart,â he still held the camera but his eyes were trained on your face, âsuch a good girl, sucking my cock like you were made for it.â
You tried to push him further into your throat, eager to see his thighs shake and hear him groan your name. You gagged on his tip and he inadvertently rolled his hips. You hummed, eyes starting to water every time you choked on his dick. You used your free hand to cup his balls and smeared your saliva down from the base of his cock to coat them. You pulled yourself off his mouth momentarily to spit on him again, licking your lips in excitement.
âFuckâs sake,â he grunted, camera abandoned on the side of the bed so he could place both his hands on the back of your head, âdoinâ so fucking good, princess.â
You continued to stroke him with one hand and massage his balls in the other, your tongue still swirling and sucking around him. You popped off him with a smile, spit covering your lips and chin while your hands continued their motion.
Logan leaned back on his elbows and held the camera up again with one hand. When you wrapped your lips around his cock again, he started to roll his hips at a steady pace so he could fuck your throat, grunting every time you gagged around him.Â
You picked up your pace, stroking his base while your head bobbed up and down in synch with your hand.
âAtta girl,â he panted, âjusâ like that.â
You could tell he was already close because he was sloppily rocking his hips up into your mouth, his thighs beginning to shake every time he hit the back of your throat. He sat up suddenly, grabbing your hair again to slowly pull you off his cock.
âOn the bed, hands and knees,â he instructed simply, letting you scramble onto the mattress as he set up the camera on the end of your bed. You understood almost instantly what he wanted, biting back a smile as you laid your chest flat on the mattress, back arched with your ass in the air.Â
He climbed behind you and placed his knees on the inside of yours to push your legs apart even further. His large hands gripped your hips and he pulled you against him, his hard cock prodding your entrance. He leaned his body over yours so that your back was flush with his chest.
âIâm gonna fuck this pretty pussy like you deserve,â he muttered into your ear, intoxicating you with the feeling of his hot breath fanning the side of your face, âthink you can take it, sweetheart?â
You nodded eagerly and gasped when he dragged the tip of his cock along the folds of your dripping cunt.
âCan take it - I want it so bad, Logan,â you pleaded, pushing back into him. Your eyes bore into the camera, lips parted. It was his idea for a sex tape after all, you might as well be sure to give him a show.
He sheathed himself into you completely in one thrust with an iron grip on your hips, the weight of him pushing into you almost knocking the wind out of your lungs. He began to slowly inch himself out and slam back in again, pulling out a little further each time. He was grunting into the back of your neck while he rocked his hips.Â
âTakinâ it so good, baby,â he panted, one of his hands moving to your neck and barely applying pressure while the other held his upper body above yours. His lips came to the side of your face and left a kiss so sweet that it couldâve rotted your teeth.
You whimpered when he worked up to a steady pace and reveled in the sensation of him filling you completely. Your fingers gripped the sheets, desperate for something to hold onto so you could stable yourself when his hard thrusts nearly knocked you over completely.
âS-so fucking - ah - so good,â you slurred your words with your eyes squeezed shut. You were slack jawed, nearly drooling.
âYeah? Can tell you like it,â he huffed, âyouâre so pretty, takinâ all of me like a good girl.â
You nodded frantically, whimpering every time he slammed into you.
âYou like beinâ on camera, donât you?â he continued, âyouâre really fucking wet.â
You could only moan in response. You were soaking around him, drenching the base of his cock and the happy trail that went up to his stomach. He leaned back on his knees and his pace never faltered.Â
Your hands outstretched in front of you and you grabbed the camera. You angled it over your shoulder and focused the lens on his face, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
He scoffed when he noticed the camera over your shoulder, keeping his rhythm while his eyes were glued to the lens. If he thought too hard about what you might do with the video later, he wasnât going to last much longer.Â
âFeels good, baby?â you panted, an amused smile creeping onto your face.
He was always the one to talk to you like that - pet names and filthy encouragement - but you wanted to get his face on film when you teased him back - or, at least tried to.Â
His expression mirrored yours and he grabbed the camera while his other hand kept an iron grip on your hip.
âI think you like holdinâ that thing a little too much,â he brought it up to his face and squinted at you through the screen.
âMm,â you hummed, your face flushed and body sticky with sweat, âcanât help it.â
âYou look fuckinâ gorgeous like this, you know that? God,â he sighed, âcanât get enough of you.â
You wouldâve found his words endearing if you could even process them. The intoxicating feeling every time he pushed back into you was enough to render you speechless.
Logan angled the camera down to film the repeated motion, gaping at the mess you left around the base of him every time he pulled back.
âMy dirty girl,â he cooed, âyou like makinâ a mess on my cock?â
âF-Fuck - yes, yes,â you sobbed before he even finished his sentence. You could feel the pressure building in your stomach, bringing you closer to finishing.
âCâmon, sweetheart, I can feel you gettinâ tighter. Come for me, baby,â he grunted, his hand sliding from your hip to grip your ass.
It only took a few more strokes for you to do exactly that with your legs shaking underneath you.Â
â âAtta girl,â he growled. He watched you gush around him, zooming in on your dripping pussy as he stretched you out over and over again. You were chanting his name, muttering unintelligible praises against your sheets.
It wasnât long before he followed suit, his pace becoming sloppy as he spilled into you and let it drip down your thighs. He clicked off the camera and tossed it somewhere else onto the bed.Â
âCâmere,â he huffed, pulling you up to lean back against him, âlove you so much.â He was leaving saccharine kisses from your ear down to your shoulder, still panting.
âI love you, too,â you managed to say with your eyes already half closed. He pulled out and laid you on your side, grabbing some t-shirt that had been next to the bed to clean you up. He wrapped you in his arms from behind and pulled up the comforter to cover you both.
âCanât wait to watch that back,â he mumbled into your neck.
âMhm,â you were already drifting off to sleep while he stroked your hair, âme neither.â
Logan fell asleep right after you with his arms still around you and his legs tangled in yours.
â-----------------------------------
Later that same week, you sat on the couch beside Logan in his apartment, flipping through TV channels on a lazy day off. Wade emerged from his bedroom and began frantically tearing apart the kitchen.
âWhat are you looking for?â you called, turning in your seat.
âMy old camera. Have you seen it?â
âNo, I donât think so.â
You thought you hadnât, at least. You had know idea the camera Logan brought over was Wadeâs.
He was pretending to be uninterested in the conversation, hoping his apathy towards the question would absolve him of any suspicion.
You shrugged and returned your attention to the TV. You heard a couple doors open and close before Wadeâs voice echoed through the apartment.
âFound it!â
Logan went wide eyed and immediately stood up from the couch.Â
You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and looked between him and Wade when he came back into the living room.
And then you recognized the camera in his hands.
âDonât open it, Iâll buy you a new one,â Logan insisted simply, holding out his hand.
âOh, my god,â you muttered.
Wade's eyes flickered between you both.
âThereâs something on here Iâm not supposed to see, isnât there?â
Logan immediately lunged for the camera and Wade sprinted into his bedroom, slamming his door shut and locking it. Logan pounded his fist on the door and tugged the doorknob.
âOpen the door, you son of a bitch!â
You buried your face into the fabric of the couch cushion, anticipating the embarrassment of Wade seeing what was still on that camera.
He opened the door after a minute, giant smile plastered on his face.
âHere you go,â he said in a sing song voice as he handed it over.
You sighed in relief, assuming heâd decided to actually abide by your requests. He closed his bedroom door, only speaking again after you heard the lock click.
âHey, by the way - can i get a copy?â
A/N: I struggled a lil bit w this one just bc of writers block but I hope it lived up to expectations <3 pls interact if you enjoyed!
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett fic#logan howlett smut#logan howlet smut#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine fic#wolverine smut#logan wolverine#deadpool and wolverine
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Rhaenyra being a good person and ruler is not boring. Ned was boring?
was considering answering this with âlose the question markâ but that felt mean i do like ned i think hes a good character. and the thing is ned is a boring guy on a personal level all characters agree but he isnt a boring character nice â boring i dont need everyone to be evil. i dont dislike rhaenyra just bc shes soso nice and i only like villains
i dont know when âa character having strong motivations and flaws makes them more compelling than a character who is inoffensively niceâ became controversial i would consider it character writing 101. hotd fans leap down your throat about it bc of the teams discourse. âaegon was more interesting than rhaenyra in season 2â isnt an aegon rules rhaenyra drools team green argument it is objectively true aegon is more motivated and he does more
it is not compelling character stuff and an insult to emmaâs abilities that they wont let rhaenyra do anything or have any motivations apart from a) peace shes a pacifist and doesnt want to be in the war she is a de facto leader in except maybe she does want to be in the war? (dragonseeds) b) the stupid prophecy c) the throne but she refuses to have a war about it bc see point a). and she states these motivations every episode but theyre actively contradictory so as a result she just doesnt do anything shes almost entirely reactive. if she really cares so much about not having a war and harming her people there are many actions she could take to change that and make a peace but she wont do that bc she wants her fatherâs throne (far more sentimental and niceys than anything as selfish and crass as her ugh just wanting the throne) and believes she has to be queen and is the chosen one bc of the prophecy. but she doesnt want a war bc women are wise and war is bad so so so she got main character screentime and did almost nothing in eight episodes. end of season 2 even though the war has been literally happening around her people are still talking about when rhaenyra is going to recognise this and start acting like it. a goalpost that has been moved from lukes death to jaces death bc lukes death affected her and her policy veryy little considering how confident everyone was that this means WAR get ready for a NEW DARK RHAENYRA a mothers RAGE. and that just didnt happen at all
baela and to a lesser extent rhaenys also get hit w this really hard theyre a blandly inoffensive Strong Female Character slurry being smeared on my face like im a baby and id get scared if they had any selfish desires. and this does work at pleasing people who are already tb fanatics yayy girlboss imagine liking the creeps on tg over these characters who are women who are nice but it makes for dull characters and plotlines it insults the ability of the audience to like women unless theyre completely sandblasted of anything potentially controversial. i have no idea what motivates baela to fight for rhaenyras cause other than âshes jaces nice girlfriendâ. and thats really bad !! ned cat brienne sansa dany etc wanted and did things characters can be nice and morally good and motivated and compelling
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Iâm an anarchocommunist that thinks a lot of other anarchists are stupid. For example, I donât think that most people will just make insulin or do garbage collection/processing out of the kindness of their heart, and I also donât think if it was genuinely done out of the kindness of their hearts that itâd work great. My idea is that for the âgetting people to do the shitty jobsâ question, the people that do those jobs should be compensated better in some way. Maybe a larger/nicer house, Iâm not sure on the details. But other anarchists will say âall labor is equalâ, and while Iâd like to agree in the âwork is hardâ sense, I think things for the obvious common good, like teacher or garbage man or doctor deserve some sort of reward over other jobs. And for the efficiency of the labor, I think *specifically for labor* there needs to be some sort of organization, and we can use whatâs worked before. We donât need to have bathtub insulin if thereâs a factory right there, and if thereâs no connection from the insulin factory to doctors/pharmacists and truck drivers then it wonât work either. Really, my main problem with Marxism/Leninism or Stalinism or Maoism or any combination of those is that there are specific people with far too much power over others. Iâm ok with light power in the way of âman you gotta drive the firetruck to the burning building even though you hate the dude that lives thereâ, but Iâm not ok with the idea of a supreme leader or representatives in a political sense due to as Iâve amounts of power obviously corrupting people.
Really Iâm sending this to you to get your criticism of my ideas- I think youâre pretty smart, and even if I disagree with you on some issues, I think I agree with you on others. I also want to say that not all anarchists are⌠like that.
So, years ago, before I started reading any Marxist theory, this is about where I was at politically. If you think about any of the practicalities, you come up to points where, very clearly, the maxim of 'no authority at all' conflicts with being able to do anything. If you're seriously considering how society could be better organised, if this is something you actually intend on bringing about, then you make some amount of concession to reality - as you did with the firetruck example!
Now, myself, I went on like this for a good while, coming up with methods of truly democratic organisation that wouldn't be susceptible to the types of totalitarianism I'd heard about, ending up very similar to your position. I was interested, however, in how these 'failed experiments' that I'd learned devolved into bureaucracy started out, and I started reading up on the history, and realised, with some discontent, that what I'd developed, once I'd made all the concessions for reality that would be necessary if this system were to be the actual one real human beings lives depended on, was essentially identical to the Soviet system.
From there, I read up on Marxist theory, still basically wary that this had all, at some point, been taken over by an evil dictator, but able to see that the earliest stages, at least, had been exactly what I was imagining, but put into practice. Reading the theory, reading how their experience experimenting with different forms of organisation, and the failures of some types, had led them to discover what did and didn't work, and adjust accordingly, made me suddenly appreciate why certain things were done certain ways. The harsh experiences of civil war had revealed certain dynamics and mechanics in the way society and production worked, which translates into political theories that bore out results I wouldn't have expected (and neither had the communists who had discovered them through practice!).
Eventually, with some chagrin and a significant deal of excitement, I realised that much of what I'd passively absorbed about socialism, many of the common-sense maxims that I'd been taught by capitalist society about the nature of power and so on, were very much artifacts of a decades-long war against these communists and the system they'd built, carried out by exactly the corporations and empires I had thought myself opposed to.
I won't critique any individual point of yours, but I will enjoin you to try out some Marxist theory - Dialectical and Historical Materialism, or Socialism, Utopian and Scientific, or Principles of Communism, or even the Communist Manifesto, and to read between the lines of whatever capitalist source you read on socialism, to notice every [citation needed] and wonder what actually happened such that someone felt the need to make something up.
#when it comes to marxist theory I don't understand it fully on first read at all.#often I'll go on to read something else and come back to it with that new text in mind - and come to a much better understanding of both#so if you do take my advice I'd ask you to bear with the text even if it seems impenetrable or transparent
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THREESOME HEADCANONS WITH MONTGOMERY GATOR
NSFW MINORS DNI
for my partner whom i love more than anything and who requested more Monty content <3 come get your food babe
CW: JEALOUSY, MARKING, TOYS, FREE USE
SCENERIO- You (reader) and Montgomery Gator are in a relationship when he brings up the topic of a threesome with you. Itâs dealers choice- heâll share you with any of his fellow main stage animatronics.
IF YOU PICK:
FREDDY
Slow turn. Full stop.
â w h a t . â
he straight up doesnât understand. not one bit. heâs also DEFINITELY not jealous (he 100% is) of Freddy. this totally doesnât bring something out of him.
but seriously though. explain to him why you want Freddy Fazbitch inside of you.
what does Freddy have to bring to the table? heâs not gonna say no- you get to pick whoever, and thatâs the deal
but WHY FREDDY?!?!?!?!
donât count Freddy out though. heâd be taken aback by the request but after much thought and giving his answer, heâs ready to have a dick measuring (figuratively and literally) with Monty and he WILL prove to be competition.
If any returning people are reading this⌠Competition fic rewrite???
itâs happening in Montyâs room. not Freddyâs. you stay on his turf.
he will constantly try to outperform Freddy. he canât help himself. heâs gotta prove why heâs the best out of the two of them.
theyâre bickering the entire time theyâre fucking you, but not in a way that isnât hot. youâd be sandwiched between them as they say things to each other through gritted teeth, occasionally commenting on how the other should be treating you or touching you or anything.
theyâll only agree on one thing- how good you feel and how fucking hot you are.
Freddyâs NOT cumming inside. Oh no. donât even think about it. heâd sooner maul him. and when his dick starts vibrating Monty almost goes âFOR FUCKS SAKEâ right then and there and flips you over to fuck you into the ground. he doesnât though. he shows restraint. be proud.
at the end of the day, Monty is gonna prove to Freddy why youâre his and only his. Freddy will leave after aftercare with Monty waving him goodbye with a cocky expression on his face.
but Freddy still knows itâs his claw marks on your hipbones underneath your clothes when you walk by.
CHICA
âOhhhhkay?â
He wasnât expecting that. heâs not mad about it but heâs not sure why exactly. out of everyone, he knows the least about Chica. he doesnât know WHAT to expect.
but you know, at least itâs not Freddy.
when Chica gets the request she pretty much giggles and says âSure! Youâve got a cute one, iâve had my eye on them for a while!â which confuses him even more. eye??? on his partner??? wtf???? but now heâs kind of intrigued.
the day of, heâs CERTAINLY not expecting to show up with you to her room and for her to have a chest sitting on the floor. heâs straight up got whiplash when she starts talking about hard and soft limits and negotiations and whether or not you wanna use the sex swing.
she points up and he looks and sure enough- thereâs the telltale two hooks bolted into her ceiling for her to string it up. he thinks heâs dreaming.
and THEN she opens the chest which has three unfolding layers and a bottom compartment and he thinks heâs hallucinating. she has 5 different flavors of lube. what the fuck.
the whole time heâs just hugely impressed by her. at one point he straight up starts laughing a little incredulously and goes âYo Chica- where the fuck didja get all of this shit?â and she just winks at him.
kinda gets nervous when she pulls out the strap?? he starts competing a little bit with her until she looks up at him from under her eyelashes and tells him to cool it.
suddenly Chica is the only person to ever put him in his place besides you.
they both talk about how good you are with your mouth. Chicaâs more of the praiser, but Montyâs fully agreeing with some meaner degradation thrown in there. Her degrading is said in the sweetest tone in the world, which gets a different reaction from you than his normally does.
so yes, she teaches him something.
after that, he and Chica are a lot closer than they used to be. theyâre not exactly friends, but now they share passing knowing glances and thereâs almost a sense of kinship between the two.
and maybe after a while, a note written in pink glitter gel pen that smells like cupcakes shows up on his desk with the question of âRound two?â
and who knows. maybe- just maybe- he feels like he wants to say yes.
ROXANNE
yep. thatâs the answer he expected.
heâs cool and calm about this one. he and Roxy are close. theyâre the two ânewâ ones. the original rockers. the ones with attitude. heâs seen the way Roxyâs eyes follow you every once in a while, and heâs not threatened by it.
when he brings it up, theyâre both just casually hanging out during a moment of quiet at day. she laughs under her breath, looks at him, smiles, and tells him sheâll be ready whenever.
this is the pair that youâre most likely to get into a fun situation with. If any of yâall remember my fic Animalistic (also open to doing a rewrite) where they borrow Chicaâs maze and hunt you down in the dark- itâs that type of shit.
sheâll come to yâall, or yâall will come to her. either way works. this is a meeting between friends.
heâs impressed that she can deliver the amount of intensity that he can. youâre certainly dealing with a lot, and theyâre sure to make a comment on how well you handle it.
i think heâd make her watch for a little bit that first time. youâd feel her gaze on you from across the room- two natural predator animals watching you like youâre their next meal. sheâll enjoy the view and the lesson on what you like
theyâll help each other out with pleasing you. if Montyâs inside, Roxy might reach over and put pressure on your lower stomach for him. if Roxanne is putting pressure on your chest with her claws, Monty is behind you running his hands down your ass.
itâs a collaborative effort.
out of all these pairings this is the only one where i can see them doing things to each other. itâs in a very casual way- and no way is Roxanne gonna suck his cock. she especially refuses to get on her knees for him. but he might pinch at her nipple piercings, and she might reach over and give his dick a few strokes.
they might even toss you around a little between them. in the future he might offer you as some stress relief while they hang out. it wouldnât be a big deal for her to tune her guitar in on the same couch as him while you give him head, or for him to be doing his hair while she fucks your mouth. youâll get your reward for being good in the end.
it wonât be discussed between the two of them outside of the request and event itself. theyâll perform side by side the same way they always have- and Monty will go to Gator Golf and Roxanne will go racing, and theyâll catch a break in the same unused room every once in a while.
but every so often, heâll let her know she can stop by.
and you bet your ass she will.
I HOPED YALL ENJOYED THE MONTY CONTENT! as always, reblog with comments, request, and let me know what you thought below <3
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This is in no way of hating but i want to know why do you enjoy writing noncon/rape? When I first downloaded tumblr which was couple of months ago i was surprised by the amount of noncon fics here. I eventually came to enjoy them which makes me question myself. Whenever i read a noncon fic and enjoy it i feel like im betraying women who actually went through those traumatic events. Plus I actually don't really like dark romance books? I love cod dead dove and that is mainly because i really love the characters and the authors are so talented. I rambled so much and i hope you don't get this in the wrong way i don't mean to hate AT ALL i love the stuff you write. Maybe i shouldn't think too much and let myself enjoy what im reading lol
first of all, no worries! i wasn't sure about your tone/intentions at first, but by the end i was totally fine with the question.
i actually don't mind talking about this stuff - i just sometimes avoid it on main because i prefer chatting about it privately.
second, i'm no psychologist or sociologist, so i probably won't be able to give you the most satisfactory answer, but i think there are a lot of different reasons. i can only name a few. one thing i should mention right off the bat is that rape fantasies are very normal (and this is true whether you're a survivor of SA or not) and writing/reading fiction can be a safe way to process those thoughts/feelings.
one of prevailing reasons is, of course, that many survivors of SA use noncon/dubcon literature/art as a way of processing their experiences and taking ownership of their trauma.
and look, people are going to go back and forth on this point (i've seen it all before - many people refuse to believe that engaging with noncon lit/art is helpful, and in fairness, it's NOT helpful for everyone because every person is different), but at the end of the day, if a survivor tells you "writing/reading this was helpful in my recovery" then that's that!
additionally, for many women and non-binary folk (i can only speak as a cis woman, but i'm sure this is a shared lived experience across many different people), we're also taught from a very young age to suppress our sexual desires / that being open about our sexuality is morally reprehensible and shameful. and a lot of people carry that shame for years, impacting them well into adulthood. so dubcon/noncon fantasies can be a way of being able to enjoy sexual scenarios where you don't have to be the initiator, thus taking away some of the emotional weight and shame.
plus, at the end of the day (and im sure many people will disagree with this take, it's something that i'm still figuring out myself), there is a kind of weird underlying consent implicit in dark fics. like, you might be reading a fic or novel that's ostensibly noncon, but you're also actively seeking out that literature (hopefully it's not just sprung on you - i do very much agree with tagging to the fullest extent and my lukewarm take is that I think all books, even traditionally published ones, should come with content/trigger warnings too).
there are a medley of reasons why someone might write or read dark fiction/dark romance. again, i'm just one person and i can only speak from my own experience!
i think at the end of the day, the important thing to realize is that fiction is fake, and as long as the writer appropriately tags their work and ensures that the audience is aware of what they're getting into when they start reading, they're not coercing the reader into something they aren't prepared for.
and it's totally fine if you have limits (like, you can read and enjoy dubcon, but not noncon) or can't engage with the material at all, but it's also unfair to say that it reflects someone's real life values - the same way that we don't say that the people who enjoy crime fiction must love murder.
and the last thing i want to say because this got a bit out of hand lol, is that, yes, for some people dark fiction is genuinely harmful, whether or not they're a survivor. it's not for everyone and that's completely fine and i'm aware of that, which is why i agree that you should tag as much as possible (even if you feel like you're overdoing it sometimes), but someone else's discomfort doesn't give them the right to tell you how to process your own emotions/experiences/desires/etc.
as long as no one's getting hurt, there's no issue as far as i'm concerned. and sorry but, no one's getting hurt by reading a fic or a novel unless the author didn't give proper content warnings - if you "forgot" to read the tags or read anyway DESPITE being warned, im sorry but that's life.
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Heisei/Reiwa Kamen Rider Bike Riding Time research
Hello there! Does anyone remember from a little while back when this image was going around?
For a while, at least in fan communities I frequented; this was quite infamous for showing just how sharp a decline Kamen Rider's namesake had become in the last few years, with the absolute nadir of the Heisei 20th anniversary Kamen Rider using his bike for a total of 47 seconds (and also, on the other end; just how much Kuuga would not get off his bike)
Obviously, it's been a few years since Saber now; and I've found myself wondering from time to time exactly how the Riders since then have fared, especially since both Geats and Gotchard have garnered a reputation of sorts for putting a bit more emphasis on the bikes and feeling like they have more screentime than your Zero-Ones and your Sabers.
So! I went looking and found the source. This extremely dedicated Japanese poster called Yamashita Radio who of course I will be basing the majority of this on, including his rules and his counting. And when I say 'dedicated' I mean that at one point he lost all his data so he just counted Kuuga through Saber all over again. MAD respect for this man! I highly recommend a full readthrough of this 5-part post at one point because it's very impressive and interesting stuff in my opinion
One other interesting point is that that chart there? That's main rider only; and also includes any riding they did as civilians. There is a separate chart for all motorbike riding in the show as a whole; including other riders, including monsters, including even just random civilians! For posterity, I think it's important to post that chart for comparison with the main rider one -- I've colour coded here so that red is Heisei 1 (Kuuga-Decade), green is Heisei 2 (W-Zi-O) and yellow is Reiwa (Zero-One onwards). Main rider only on the left, all biking on the right.
Up front there are some absolutely fascinating observations to make here - Zero-One had the least bike scenes of any show! Brand new era of Kamen Rider! - but I think I've talked about the past enough. With all this said and what I feel is a very important plug to make, let's get into the meat of this -- how do Revice, Geats and Gotchard compare to previous shows?
Rules
... okay, yeah, sure; let's quickly establish a baseline first. As I'm going off of Yamashita's work, I'm also going by all his rules; it's a good thing I agree with all of them because I kinda didn't want to completely redo the count of every season!
TV Show ONLY! No movies, no TTFC specials, no HBVs, no V-Cinema, none of it. The main reason given is that, uh, Paradise Lost has a 100+ bike scene near the start so that's too much of an advantage -- fair enough! Personally I also think it's more interesting, because movies generally have more budget and allowances for bike scenes so those tend to be the same. Maybe a separate count would still be interesting, but I think including movies would flatten out the times too much and make the data pretty uninteresting
No openings! Agito has too much of an advantage
Non-transformed states count the same as transformed states. Godai riding a bike is the same as Kuuga riding a bike.
All motorcycles are treated equally! Mopeds and even CG scenes and bikes are allowed
Other vehicles such as cars, trains and even bicycles and hoverbikes are excluded. Two big exceptions are made for Drive and Revice as they do not have a main motorbike otherwise, but this does exclude things like Gaim's Dandeliner, many of the Oni in Hibiki's transport vehicles, Den-O's Den-Liner, Gotchard's Steamliner and Madwheel and Decade's Agito Slider
Transformations of the bike still count as long as it's being ridden. The Boostriker turns into fox mode while you're riding it? That's fair game
Flashbacks and other repeat footage ("previously on" segments etc) don't count of course. But in cases where it's clearly stock footage but it's still a new event, like the many Ryuki Rideshooter scenes, that's still counted
Count from the moment the bike is straddled to the moment the bike is gotten off, and everything in between. Scenes where the bike isn't technically visible - such as close-ups of the rider's face, or cutting to another character's reaction - are still counted if it's all the same scene
Revice
3m21s (2m23s for Revi only)
Oh lucky me, this was actually done for me! Yamashita made a small update after Revice finished to add this. I just went over and double checked it.
At 3m21s, Revice is at this point the series with the 2nd least amount of bike riding; above Zero-One and below Zi-O. For Revi alone he's in 3rd least; above Zero-One and below Saber. Happy 50th anniversary!
An interesting note here is that Ikki never rides Vice Ptera untransformed -- concerns over the actor's safety, maybe? Daiji also pulls in 58 seconds for the show on his own motorbike, but abandons it completely after episode 13; only bringing it back for the summer movie (which is also the only place he rode it as Live). Interestingly, the 12 seconds he rides it with Sakura in episode 13 is the only time he uses it in the show after becoming a Rider. The skateboarding scene in episode 7 for Jackal Form goes on for over a minute, but unfortunately can't count for this...
I think most people expected Revice to place quite low, though. So let's move on to a show I think a lot of people expect to place higher.
Geats
4m05s (3m45s for Geats only)
I keep repeating it, but this is a show where it seemed a lot of people got the impression of the bike having more importance than before. I think there's a lot of aspects that come together into that -- the bike being tied to a specific 'special' item that's even part of the main rider's main form, the upgrade forms going off of that, and the bike being used in prominent scenes including in the first episode. Geats even arrives on it in his Revice summer movie cameo!
But ultimately if you look at riding time, Geats ends up in 3rd place for overall bike time; above Revice and below Zi-O, while for main rider only Ace ends up in 5th last; above Saber and below Decade. As such he ends up being the main Reiwa Rider to use his bike the most.
This is where I started splitting main rider and untransformed rider in my personal tracking charts, just for fun -- I actually couldn't do that for Revice because as said Ikki never rides anything untransformed except his bicycle. Until episode 11 Ace actually just slightly edged out Geats for having more bike time which was enjoyable to see.
A very interesting thing happens in regards to the Boostriker's transformed state. I decided not to include finishers involving it unless the Rider is specifically riding it -- and the one and only one to do so was Buffa in episode 6, accounting for every single second he rode the machine. He had a penchant for using the buckles' weapons in ways he wasn't supposed to, and he kept up that rule even when the 'weapon' was a bike.
Geats spends a decent amount of time in the final episode sitting on his bike while talking to Regad and the other Riders, and that really saved the show's overall times.
Gotchard
5m09s (2m32s for Gotchard alone)
According to production blogs, Gotchard had a stated aim of using the bike more. Unfortunately it seems this didn't manifest itself in a very major way... but I think we did see more interesting uses of it! Spanner has his own bike (that like Daiji, he never rides transformed!), there's a version of Golddash from the future, other characters including Golddash itself ride rather than Hotaro at multiple points!
For 'others', the 3 seconds in Episode 2 is when Minato rolls up to deliver Golddash to Hotaro personally. Episode 9's 5 seconds have Renge (with Sabimaru in the back) riding it to deliver Hotaro's cards to him in Kyoto.
Spanner shockingly saved the series' overall time here in a similar way to final episode Ace, by sitting on his for an extended period of time during his conversation with Lachesis at the start of episode 47.
While it's not a very long scene nor did it change anything for the rankings, the bike scene in the final episode that just aired is notable for an extremely rare instance of a Rider Machine being ridden by a Kamen Rider's final form. To my knowledge this has previously only been done by Agito, Den-O and Revice (the latter in a movie). Fittingly for a show where part of the direction was inspired by Agito, both Agito and Gotchard do this Final Form bike scene in their final episodes.
And now, for the final count...
Gotchard ended up in 21st for overall bike time between Zi-O and Saber, but this was largely due to other characters; so Hotaro alone ended up in 22nd between Revice and Saber.
Overall we're now 5 shows in instead of 2, we can indeed see a very large dropoff in the Reiwa Era -- including Zi-O, the most recent 6 shows are all at the bottom of the list. This is especially notable when The next most recent series, Build, had 12m31s; almost double that of Saber's -- and this wasn't uncommon, with Ghost and Ex-Aid sharing similar times.
This was the main thrust of my research... but what say we go on a little addendum? Because when I mentioned Yamashita updated his post to include Revice in 2022, there was... one other series he saw fit to do a count for. One that was only halfway through, but nonetheless saw an impressive amount of bike riding time. He only got halfway, but what say I finish the job out of pure interest?
It is "Avataro Sentai Donbrothers"
The extremely normal 2022 entry into the Super Sentai series has a number of bike scenes. Some you may expect from Don Momotaro riding his CGI Enyarideon on his Palanquin for much of the first cour. Some of you might say that CGI shouldn't count, it's easy enough to animate together a scene than deal with road laws and such -- but does Kijibrother not count? Does Inubrother not count? Do none of the mech scenes count? It's a festival, people. Let's enjoy it.
Even aside from the CGI, Yamashita noted halfway through the show; that can't quite account for everything else. Sonoi has a bike he rides in multiple episodes, every time with a wheelie. Inuzuka twice within 4 episodes steals a bike and almost runs people over with it, as is perfectly fine for a hero. Don Kaito shows up with his own motorbike to promote his new book, which you should buy. For a show where it's not even in the name and for recent Sentai, there's an awful lot of riding going on.
Yamashita in his post speculates that part of this is Inoue's own habits -- as a man whose Toku experience largely consists of regularly writing for Kamen Rider in the 00s, it's natural to expect he would be inclined to write something like "Inubrother escapes the scene on a motorcycle..." as if it was second nature; as if that's nothing special for a modern show.
And I would be inclined to believe that... as such a habit is something that would likely get ironed out after a while; and sure enough, while bike scenes are frequent for the first half of the show, they disappear entirely from episode 23 to 43. It is at this point in my own count I thought we would simply never see a large bike scene from the show again, and the sheer fun of counting up Donbrothers would be lost.
And then... he appeared.
My saviour from the future.
With a full uninterrupted 1 minute 15 second bike scene
I could hardly believe what I was seeing. I remembered the future episode but I had completely forgotten this was a part of it. When I started timing this episode I was leaving the house fairly shortly and I figured like the past 20 episodes this would be easy enough to count, and I was utterly bewildered. I should never have disbelieved for a moment.
With all that said... where does Donbrothers end up in full?
7m21s (4m23s for Don Momotaro alone)
This overwhelming record easily puts both Donbrothers and Don Momotaro in 20th place of their respective charts; beating all Reiwa Riders and Zi-O -- with Don Momotaro even coming close to dethroning Kamen Rider Decade's riding time!
This is where we stand, my companions. In an era where Kamen Rider's biking time is lower than ever before and shows no sign of significant recovery, Donbrothers swoops in to steal its glory. Never lose faith. The festival never ends
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The Finer Details
Post DI! Leon Kennedy x Painter fem! Reader
MDNI 18+
(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)
Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..
Warnings: Not Proofread, Age gap! (reader is anywhere between mid-late 20's and Leon is 40), Porn w/ Plot, Use of she/her pronouns, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcoholism, mentions of trauma/PTSD/depression, P in V smut (wrap it NEOW), Leon cries during sex đ
Tags: Older Leon Kennedy, Younger afab!Reader, Leon is SAD but he is your muse, Crying, mentions of Leon masturbating, starts off with Dom! Leon and Sub! Reader, falls into switch territory because that man needs some serious TLC, Praise kink, Hickeys, Handjob, Nipple play, Oral sex (m! and f! receiving), and a heavy dose of Aftercare
Author Note: I'm actually thinking I might be doing one chapter every other night, but I would also like to draw on my comically large art tablet at some point this week, so I might skip a day or two.
Cross posted onto AO3
Session 2: Color Matching
You partially regret just agreeing to "tomorrow", seeing as this man decided that he wanted to show up at 4am.
It was the original time set for yesterday's session, and you guess he felt bad for being late, but god damn he texted you an hour earlier telling you he'd be there by 4am. Dragging yourself out of the comfort of your bed was difficult, but in the end it was worth it to draw such a stunner.
You had to get there before Leon did, so there you were; half awake, dressed in a pair of fuzzy pants and a loose t-shirt, and a small cup of tea in your right hand while the other fumbled with the keys to your little work room.
That was the greatest part about your job as a professional painter. You didn't have a dress code.
Though most days you did try to look your best, some days it was just easier to be comfortable. Besides, it's not like tons of people come and see you everyday, it was usually just one person at a time.
It was 3:47am by the time you'd gotten to your workspace and settled, sitting on one of the many floor pillows in the living area you put together away from the actual painting setup. The tea was warm, it was keeping you sleepy, but you couldn't stop taking small sips. It was in your hands, there wasn't much you could do to stop yourself.
You told Leon to just come on in when he arrived, not wanting to walk all the way back down just to lead him back up. The stiffness from sleep was still in parts of your body, so you knew it would be difficult to get up, even when he did finally stride through that door. He dressed nicely today, just what you needed him to do.
Wanting to relish in the dim yet warm lighting of your various lamps for as long as possible, you beckoned the man to come over and sit with you, which confused him slightly. He thought you would be ready to get started once he showed up, but he wasn't one to argue so early in the morning. Instead, he shrugged and slowly sauntered over to you, taking a seat on a floor pillow across from yours.
"Good morning." Leon grumbled quietly, his voice barely hiding the fact that he wasn't quite awake either. That rumble in his chest made your stomach flutter. "Good morning to you, too." You responded, closing your eyes for a moment to take another sip of your tea.
"When uh-" He cleared his throat, putting a fist up to his mouth as he did so. "When are we gonna get started?"
You furrowed your eyebrows, moving the cup away from your lips to stare at him. "I wasn't expecting to be up so early, so just give me a few more minutes to wake up and then we can turn my main lights on."
Leon sucked on his teeth as he thought, turning his head to look over out one of the windows as he rested his wrists on his knees. "Oh, yeah, sorry. Just wanted to make up for being late yesterday."
You laughed softly before letting out a quiet sigh, setting your tea down on the low coffee table sitting behind you.
"Don't worry about it, but also don't make me get up so early again, old man." You attempted to joke, immediately noticing the wince on his face at the nickname. To divert, you stood up and stretched, patting his shoulder as you walked by him. "Alright, let me pull my stuff out and then we can get started."
Leon followed you with his head, taking a few seconds before standing up himself, pressing his hands onto his knees to help get up from the floor pillow.
"I'm just going to be color matching your tones today. I won't do all of it since obviously lighting changes throughout the day, buuuut..." You trailed off, beginning to rummage through a drawer in one of your desks before pulling out handfuls of paint tubes. "I just need to pull out the basic colors I'll be using."
It was still pretty dim in the room which caused you to have to squint to see the names of the colors on the tubes. Leon found that partially amusing, his chuckle causing you to glare playfully over at him. "Something funny?"
"As funny as it is to watch you go cross-eyed looking at those," he smiled, gesturing with his thumb to the light switches near the door. "I feel like it'd be easier to just turn the lights on."
"My retinas will be fried if those get turned on-" You were cut off by your own shout when Leon took the liberty of turning the lights on himself, laughing as you quickly moved to cover your eyes.
He only had to squint for a second before his eyes adjusted. You, however, were not expecting the sudden change, so you got an eyeful of bright white light. Complete and utter agony that lasted for a full five seconds.
By the time you moved your hands away from your eyes, they were watering and you had to squint for awhile longer. "Give me a warning next time you decide you want to try and murder me like that." You said, wiping away the few stray tears you'd produced from the light sensitivity. "You might live in the light, but I don't!"
The man shook his head and crossed his arms, smile still plastered to his face as he slowly made his way over to the chair in front of your easel. "That's payback for calling me an old man."
You twisted your head around to the chair so you could give him an indignant look, catching a glance as he was putting his hands up in defense with a small "what?" before you turned to look down at the tubes of paint sitting next to your hands on top of the desk.
"Nothing, just wasn't expecting to work with a toddler, that's all.." You mumbled, smile creeping onto your face as you heard him click his tongue from behind you. "I was an old man not five minutes ago and now I'm a toddler?" Leon asked, voice peaking dramatically.
"Yes, you have quite the range, Mr. Kennedy." You began sifting through the various paints you'd pulled out, humming softly as you contemplated what route you wanted to take with them. Stick to primaries? Add secondaries? Should I just use every color I need? Hmmm..
Leon watched as you stared at the paint tubes you'd picked up, tilting his head to the side slightly to try and get a better look. He snapped his head back upright when you started to speak again. "I'm trying to decide whether or not to use a lot of different colors, or just stick to a minimum.."
It was almost as if you knew what he was wondering. "Uhh... what's the difference...?" The man questioned, raising an eyebrow as you turned around, seemingly having made your decision already.
"Using just the main 6 colors-" You turned around and were faced with his very confused stare, causing you to explain a little better. "The main colors you see in a rainbow."
He breathed out a quiet "ahh" at that. Okay, good. He knows his basics. Cute...
"I can mix just red, blue, and yellow at varying degrees to get any color I need. Adding green, purple, and orange will help even more." You pursed your lips, lightly tossing the paint tubes in your hands before setting them down away from the other tubes. "I need white also. Damn.."
"What's wrong with white?" Leon asked, leaning forward a bit to watch you dig in the drawer for a tube of white oil paint.
"Nothin'. Just forgot, is all. Trying to keep this as authentic as possible..." You mumble, quickly closing the drawer with a slam after pulling out the paint you were looking for.
Silently nodding his head in acknowledgment, Leon turned his focus to his surroundings again, admiring your choice in decor once more. He bought a nice decorative pillow for his couch yesterday after being here the first time.
You grabbed a few strips of thick white paper, running your thumb along its textured surface before setting them down. You told him to stay where he was as you set up a small art palette, little dollops of the paints sitting neatly in the circular grooves.
"I'm gonna make color swatches of your skin for myself." You spoke up as you suddenly turned and walked towards him, holding the palette in your left hand while holding the strips of paper and a small yet flat paintbrush in the right. "Also, I'll need to get a picture of you in the position you want, but I'll do that after all of-" you waved everything you're currently holding in a small circle. "-this."
Leon simply responded with an "oh, okay", his knee beginning to bounce as you quickly began to mix little bits of your paint together to get a simple pale skin tone down before you even attempted to match his.
As you worked, you were starting to grow nervous with the silence, and clearly the man in front of you was as well, given he had started to sweat slightly on his forehead. He wasn't nearly as conversational as the last two agents you painted.
"So.. you've earned yourself a portrait..." You smiled slightly, holding up the strip of paper you'd brushed your mixed paint on to see what colors to mix in next. "What'd you do to earn one?"
Leon hummed. It was hard to think about every mission he's gone on, all the horrors he bore witness to, the people he saved, the people he couldn't save, how it all started, and now the fact that he's done-
"Hey, woah, I'm sorry." The sound of your voice drew him away from his thoughts. "I didn't know that would be a.. sore subject for you." He blinked at you a few times, furrowing his eyebrows soon after. "What?"
You pulled the strip of paper away from his face, pulling your lips tight with a shrug of your shoulders at his response. "You suddenly looked mad. Like... really really mad. I thought you were gonna snap at me or-"
"No. It's just bittersweet, is all." Leon cut you off, waving his hand dismissively at you before nodding once down to the paint palette in your hand. "You can keep going."
You stayed frozen in your crouched position for a few seconds longer before continuing to swatch your paint. You kept silent, not wanting to seem like you were antagonizing him.
"I used to be just a cop." The man suddenly said, causing you to look up from where you were mixing your paints together. "Only for a single day, but I was a cop. Simple as can be."
You nodded, beckoning him to continue with a small smile, which he did. "I'm sure you've heard about some of that already though, since you worked with Claire not too long ago."
His comment caused you to let out a small "ohh" in sudden recognition, nodding your head again. "Yeah, that's right! She mentioned you on that, okay.."
Leon continued to talk about all of his missions vaguely, still having to keep confidentiality in mind. You let him drone on, having gotten his skin tone matched in a few different areas now. You stopped to scribble on the papers with the paint swatches, making sure to label where each tone came from on his face and hands.
You took note of how he circled back to his single day as a cop and to certain missions. His mention of saving the president's daughter had you immediately smiling. That was a straight ticket to earning his own portrait in that hall of the White House, he could've done just that his entire life and he still would've been seeing you at some point.
You focused on mixing your paint for a little while before noticing he had grown quiet, looking up to see him staring out the window, a faint orange glow from the sun rising highlighting his features. And his tears.
Growing concerned once again, you set down the paintbrush on the palette so you could place a gentle hand on his shoulder. It seemed he didn't notice that, too lost in his head to notice anything at this point.
"Hey..." You asked with a soft voice, your eyebrows furrowing with worry. "We don't have to talk about it anymore, you know..."
Finally, Leon looked back at you, eyes widening once he realized how watery his eyes were. He turned his head away so you didn't watch him wipe the tears that had fallen down his cheeks and use his sleeve to dry his eyes. It wasn't like him to be so easily bothered by this stuff.
"I just need one more color swatch and then you can go, okay? We can save the photo for another day." You gave the man a weak smile, one he didn't reciprocate. You understood.
He looked like he wanted to say something, but you filled in for him. "Seriously, it's no trouble at all. If you need more time then you need more time." Standing up from your crouched position, you left your half-finished color match swatch with the finished ones before walking over to set everything down on the desk.
You didn't want to crowd the poor man. That was probably the last thing he needed. Despite having only painted for a select few, you've learned to just step away from these retired agents when things would go awry. It was akin to a war veteran suffering from PTSD; they did almost have the same experiences as far as you could tell.
"I'm sorry."
Leon finally managed to say to you, his hands anxiously rubbing up and down on the tops of his thighs. Must be a nervous tick.
You angled yourself so you could see him while your body still faced the desk, smiling at him while your hands worked to neatly stack the strips of paper before clipping them together with a paper clip.
"There's absolutely no reason for you to apologize." You kept your smile as you responded to Leon, looking back down at your hands to make sure everything was put together properly. "You forget I strictly work with agents like yourself. From all the vague tellings, I know that the job is tough on you guys; body and mind."
It was weird having someone outside of the agency talk to him about this kind of stuff. It was weird for him to be bringing it up in the first place. Or, at least he felt like it was.
"Still, I should know better than to do that." Leon sighed, rubbing his hand along the side of his face before stroking his chin, scratching at the stubble growing.
"Know better than to do what? Let yourself process everything you've been through?" You spoke in almost a whisper. If your tone was any louder, you fear you'd come off as accusatory.
"I get it. Really, I do." Leon groaned quietly at your words, causing you to click your tongue. You grabbed your swivel chair and scooted it over so you could sit in front of him, and when you did, you brought your legs up to sit criss-cross just like yesterday, only there wasn't a table separating the two of you. You looked solemn. He didn't like where this was going.
"The whole point of painting you a portrait is to honor you and your work as an agent, but it's not just about getting yourself painted." You leaned forward in your chair, elbows resting on your knees, all the while keeping your voice hushed and gentle. "Seeing the portrait once it's finished is going to be an incredibly emotional ordeal. It's a reminder that this is truly the end of an era for you, Mr. Kennedy..."
Your words were really starting to strike a chord for Leon. He hadn't given it much thought. He didn't want to give it any thought at all. All he thought was "I'm just going to get myself a nice fancy portrait and be done with it". He didn't even consider what the portrait of him would actually symbolize.
"Oh." Was all Leon could muster, letting his gaze fall into his lap where his hands now sat clasped together. If it weren't for the comfortable environment you had set up here, he probably would've bolted ages ago.
You let him think everything over for awhile, wanting to give him all the time in the world. Clearly he needed something, but he wasn't allowing himself any sort of leeway.
It took some courage building internally, but you decided to stand up, taking the one step closer to him before placing your hand on his shoulder once more. You squeezed it a bit, bringing his attention back to you as he lifted his head up.
You attempted to smile at him, moving your hand off his shoulder so you could hold your arms out slightly. This man needed a hug and you were more than willing to offer the leeway he wasn't granting himself.
Leon stood up rather quickly which surprised you, and startled you just a bit, before feeling his large arms tightly wrap around you. It was a little awkward since he had to bend a bit to hug you properly, but it worked out in his favor, and yours too, since he got a better opportunity to bury his face into the crook of your neck.
He sighed happily when he felt your arms slowly wrap around his chest, doing your best to squeeze him for that extra bit of comfort, even rubbing up and down on his back. It had been so long since he had a real hug. It felt good.
You let him hug you for as long as he needed, which was longer than expected, but definitely not unwelcome by any means. Though, his warm breath against your neck and the smell of his cologne was causing you to blush. That's really the last thing you needed him to see after being so vulnerable and open with you.
You felt him start to pull his head away, prompting you to pat his back gently as an end to the hug. Despite the fact that it was faint, it was clear to you that he was blushing when you were finally able to look up at him.
You wanted to remain calm for Leon, letting out your nervousness through a quiet cough. "I know we've only met up twice, but if you ever need a change in scenery, just know that my workspace here is always open to you. I'm always open to you, okay?"
Your words were making him feel weird. Something he hasn't felt in a long time was creeping up his chest. Your smell lingering on his coat wasn't helping, either.
"Yeah-.. yeah, okay." Leon huffed through his nose, reaching up to scratch at the stubble underneath his jawline as he averted his gaze to the floor.
The sun was fully up now, so you walked over to where the light switches were next to the door, flipping them off. All your other ambient lights could be turned off later. For now, you needed to focus on the man still standing in front of that maroon chair.
"You can stay if you feel you need to, but I just want you to relax." You said, looking over at him as you heard his footsteps slowly walk past you to the living space.
"I'll head out." Leon bent over and grabbed his motorcycle helmet from where he'd set it down on the rug near the floor pillows. He placed his on his head as he walked over to where you stood next to the door, not really wanting anyone to look at his tear-stricken and red face any longer.
Once he finished fiddling with his helmet, you reached out and took his hand in both of yours, patting the top of it softly. "Text me when you're ready to come back over."
You couldn't see Leon's face anymore since he'd put the visor down, but you could definitely see him nod his head. He opened the door and let himself out, touching the side of the doorframe as he rounded the sharp corner and walked down the stairs.
After closing the door behind him, you started walking around your workspace to turn off all the lamps and other ambient lighting, pausing to listen to the sound of his motorcycle start up and drive off.
#daily dose of dilf#he's not a dad in this#but that doesn't mean he's not a dilf#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy x reader#resident evil#leon s kennedy x you#leon scott kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy smut#resident evil leon#leon kennedy fic#leon x reader#leon kennedy fanfic#leon s kennedy smut#leon s kennedy x fem!reader#leon kennedy x reader smut#leon kennedy x fem reader#resident evil death island
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¤amongst other things
premise. kisses w/ them, and random things?
featuring. dan heng, blade, jing yuan.
content. gender neutral.
cw. mentions of blood, murder for blade lol. he's just down bad for reader in a weird, blade way ig
note. this is ironic since my first genshin post was also about kisses (AKA me getting bored so I wondered why not get into star rail)
will add others soon ig.. I didn't compile all of them here cuz I honestly lack the characterization for them so woop
dan heng
short, abrupt kisses that rarely ever come by goes as quickly as it came. you'd assume that he's doing it on purpose, giving you the kiss that you've been waiting for all day. it shouldn't even be considered a kiss at all from how fleeting his apparent 'peck' is.
in short it's torture.
keyword: assume. cause as convinced as you are that this is just some form of twisted amusement dan heng gains, that's exactly the problem that it entails. as a person wholly, he's so serious to the point you doubt there's nothing that would entertain him besides books.
you learn he isn't much of a fan of those really long kisses, once you both bore witness to a couple eating each other's face in broad daylight and you spotted his weekly shift of expression, a quirk of few centimeters. in this case, a grimace and he looks away.
he, does not really give kisses a lot. as upset as you are, you do agree that when he does give you a kiss, albeit short. it makes it all the more.. amazing? such a mediocre word wouldn't be able to describe it.
basically when you're both left trying to fit in his small cushion (he could've atleast gotten a bed in all this space.) you also learn that he's a really private man.
you've only ever shared kisses in his room, embraces, everything else for that matter. when the door is locked he quite literally melts into you. if you happen to be sitting together he just leans on to you.
dan heng in public: đś
dan heng in private: đ
just doesn't show any affection in public, especially if march is around. that girl would make fun of him for hours end and even drag the trailblazer in on her antics of poking fun.
dan heng is indeed a private man.
march isn't the only factor as to why there hasn't been a lot of kisses out in public. if anything he probably wants to kiss you more than you would like.
he'd be lying if he said he wanted to just kiss you as long as those weird main characters of the romance shows march watches cause even though you might want that as well, dan heng won't ever do it.
cause it isn't him, what he is. is the type to get kisses done as soon as he can not because he doesn't enjoy them. it's because he can take a good look at you once he leans back, just like he does any other day.
to admire you.
and cause dan heng isn't the romantic type to kiss you senseless, but the one to give you looks you'd die for.
blade
if dan heng only gives you kisses a few times a day and you'd consider it torture, better get ready to lose your sanity cause you're lucky if blade even crumples at your hand to give you one.
it's not that he doesn't love you. he feels as though it's wrong to label whatever emotion in his chest as something as strong as love, he won't go that far. but he won't label you as something worthy of hatred either, you're.. tolerable?
if anything blade doesn't outright seek to give you his affection through the form of a kiss. his love language is in fact, not physical affection but destroying your enemies :). (if you have one, if not. then whoever bothers you will suffice.)
but if he does, when he does it's the most blade thing he can do. just grabbing your face with one hand as he gives you one of those rough, deep kisses. it's not really desperate or out of need, despite such a wordless action you could feel some emotion he's pouring into it.
better pray it's not hate cause.. đ
funny thing cause as much as he hates being piled in the same sentence as dan heng, in a way they're rather similar. both just preferring to witness, given their life span.. maybe it's some type of response they're used to.
blade doesn't really do the 'oh I love you' or the random hugs. the fact that he'd even stand so close to you instead of isolating himself and looking all mysterious leaning on a pillar already spoke volumes of his fondness (if not admitted.)
he just.. watches you?
silver wolf comments about it when she's caught his eyes on you many times midst a conversation, behind your back, staring. "better watch out." she says, but even with her disturbed gaze never does he tear his eyes away.
well.
kafka does take it in more stride than her. as someone who's spent a hefty time with blade, even someone as analytical as her can't tell which things he likes, and hates. besides all the blood and pain (well usually for his opponents.)
she for one, tells you that he does indeed like you. cause she can control who blade murders 'for her own good'. but if there's even a single glimpse of drop from a wound he's going feral, and not even kafka or her spirit whisper can tame his rage.
AKA... just lots of murder?
'for your own good :)'.
blade wholly believes that he doesn't need to shower you in affection, or kisses at all. but if you're really so insistent on them he'll give into you, which is surprising cause he's a pretty stubborn man.
most affection you'd get in physical means is when he completely collapses into you, perhaps a sign of weakness. but also trust. one of the rare times he's exhausted himself in his mind to the point where he can't even do anything.
#icanfixhim.
jing yuan
a cheeky man, this one.
jing yuan could give you a load, barriage, arrows, whatever describes the endless assault of pecks he attacks your face with. emphasis on 'could', he has the ability, and the freedom but it doesn't mean he's going to :)
in short you have to work for it, he says.
you can't tell if he's trying to give you one of those motivational, slapping you back to reality lessons or messing with you. you're going to go for the latter since someone as bold as he is lazy.. even jing yuan would relate enough to not hit you with the lesson card.
in a way he's always dragging the time you've gone by without a kiss from him as long as he can just for the sole reason he can see your attempts to conceal your bothered face, even better when the expression of content is all but displayed to him once he gives in.
what? he can't resist you, you know?
you have a feeling he's teasing you again when he says that but it's better to not ponder upon it.
for someone who prefers to 'conserve' his energy. he's got a lot to spare when it comes to the repeated kisses pressed upon your lips, cheeks, eyelids, forehead.. whatever his own mouth can reach. (his favorite is the edges of your eyes..)
just for some reason, one he can't exactly name he ends up giving that particular area more love compared to the others. sometimes more lighter, feathery pecks when he's feeling playful. or the occasional longer, deep press of his lips when he's feeling rather sentimental about his feelings.
he doesn't deserve you.. but if not him, who else? ;)
gets mimi to help him into trapping you inside his office, jing yuan 'calls for your presence' but once you're inside rather than the pressing matters he apparently had to discuss with you (present in his message.) you're met with the man practically snuggling into you as he keeps you in his arms.
rather effortlessly if you might add!
and if you somehow managed to wriggle out his grip. you swore you saw him give the... big... cat a look and suddenly mimi is choosing to sleep right in front of the doors..
come back or you will not get kisses for two days (he's scamming u)
note. NOT PR... hi hsr fandom đł posting in a new fandom makes me so nerviosity
#. . . (ŕšáľâ¤áľŕš)#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#dan heng x reader#blade x reader#jingyuan x reader#jing yuan x reader#star rail x reader#dan heng#blade#jing yuan#x gn reader
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#i think mdr also doesnt rlly care abt younger ppl's opinions sdffggfds#he's like. old man shakes his fist at a cloud#he is so OLD and i think he believes that its part of why he must be right#like ... he has all this experience. he has lived an extensive life#tried and failed to make 'teamwork' (cooperation) work#so for him it is. it seems naive probably of naruto to believe that this would work#(it is notable tho that he SEES that the shinobi villages are cooperating. he mentions this Twice actually the other time is#right after his edo tensei resurrection. its the very first thing he remarks upon being faced w the alliance#that theyre all wearing the same headbands but they seem to be coming from different villages#this kind of .. does blow his mind. but its too late for him to take on a new ideology Now ^_^#he has to go thru with it. he's so smart and so sexy after all <3 he has to be right. and they must be wrong#bc he has lived and seen that any alliance will just fall apart at the end and so thats why theyre 'pathetic' at the end of the day anyway)#it is very funny tho i think asfgdfdgd#bc obt is like out there screaming and arguing with everyone. and mdr is like ummm who the fuck cares. LMAO#lets beat the shit out of each other and whomstever wins. that one's the one that has rights. and IS right w their ideology#i also do think its notable that team 7's 'teamwork' doesnt actually manage to bring him down BUT#their teamwork does lead to the defeat of kaguya. so. i feel like at the end of the day#u can still say that the teamwork/cooperation ideology is the winner here#bc they get to have a future and konoha continues to exist. whereas mdr fucking explodes and then dies. lmao#so the narrative does. still prove him wrong albeit indirectly
1000% true he only cares about opinions of the youth (hehe) when said youth can shatter his ribcage. and even then he's still more interested in getting kicked again
alternatively i think he might find it somewhat amusing that the way to get everyone to cooperate turned out to be. having them all be really really really about-to-shit-themselves scared of him (obito but that's that same thing as far as he's concerned). moreover, if the only time they can work together is when they have a common opponent, then as soon as that opponent is defeated (entirely hypothetical ofc bc he's perfect and about to become the second sage and can't be stopped ever) then they'll just. go back to fighting each other. which just proves his original point (it in fact does not, but since he never tells anyone anything there's no one who can point out the itty bitty teeny weeny gaping massive gloryhole flaws in his logic such as that. while they can't prove that that's not true. he also can't prove that it is.)
your logic concerning the narrative is technically correct but unfortunately madara operates on his own crazy caveman logic, and while team seven can do. basically jackshit to stop him, as soon as kaguya takes over, they manage to beat her, which i think madara could easily interpret as black zetsu sacrificing madara to bring back someone weaker than him (did kaguya survive maito gai? no. did she survive a living full-power hashirama? no (neither did madara but pointing that out will just make him hard again). as far as he cares, all kaguya did was show up, steal his body via black zetsu hax, and then get pummeled by three teenagers, some corpses, and obito's ex. all of whom tried and failed miserably to stop madara).
now, technically, madara is crazy so his own potential thoughts on All That should be irrelevant.... if that had been the final battle. but the final fight of the series is naruto vs sasuke, and whoever is stronger is the most correctest, ultimately just. proving madara's power-over-all stance to be the correct one (i guess you could argue that naruto worked with kurama? but. idk kurama still doesn't really have the ability to just. leave. so i would at the very least have an asterisk there, personally)
wait so, as the holders if the most and 2nd most insane naruto characters, what did madara and obito have to say about team 7 dynamics ??
As a past memeber of team 7 Obito's opinion doesn't count cause he thinks kakashi's gremlins are the only normal people in the world. I don't remember Madara saying anything on the dynamics of team 7 but I'm not an authority on the matter so I turn it over to my resident Madara Scholars @evilkitten3 and @narutoenjoyer5000
#naruto#naruto shippuden#to be clear. obviously naruto and sasuke had to duke it out one last time. it's a shounen. that's mandatory#but like. idk either have a post-war arc to build up to it or have the final rival fight happen before the final boss fight#i don't really like either of those options admittedly#i don't even really think they would've been better#but. it would make more sense in some regards#ultimately the whole ''one guy hitting you really hard'' vs ''several guys hitting you somewhat less hard'' just kinda. vanished#like no actually it doesn't count if all those dudes are actually just one dude#so. why have that theme show up at all#''naruto and sasuke are the reincarnations of two dudes who've been beating the shit out of each other throughout multiple lifetimes.#they will resolve this conflict by once more beating the shit out of each other.''#oh so NOW violence is the method to stop the cycle of violence ok. not all the times those other guys tried it. just here#plus. naruto and sasuke (and sakura) were only able to seal kaguya at all bc of Le Destiny (and sakura. she was there also!)#granted by the time the war arc happened the whole. natural underdog thing had long since gone out the window. but still#so naruto beating sasuke and that being the turning point for sasuke agreeing with naruto is. well like you said#''lets beat the shit out of each other and whomstever wins. that one's the one that has rights. and IS right w their ideology''#idk i think maybe part of the problem is sorta the shounen-wide concept of yelling really loudly about friends or teamwork or whatever#and then just doing your one-man violent beatdown of the enemy while hoping the audience just. doesn't catch that#maybe mid-fight one of the supposed-to-be-a-main-character-but-HA guys will throw a more plot-relevant character a useful object#or one of the girls will give another (usually more male) character a bandaid#but at the end of the day any story with the premise ''look how cool this one guy is'' is. going to be about how cool that one guy is#that's something i appreciate about dragon ball actually. it's about goku. sometimes there's other people! but it's about goku#the theme is ''goku beats the crap out of bad guys'' and everyone else mentions that soon goku will be along to do that#none of the one-person-doing-the-whole-group-project crap#''goku is better than u. learn to live with it'' > ''noooo we're totally all equals/all part of the team/nakama powerrrr (but not really)''
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wherever you go (a joel miller's ff) - chapter 5
chapter 4 | series masterlist | main masterlist | chapter 6
pairing: outbreak!2003!joel x f!reader. (it's actually 2004 now)
summary: after what happened a couple of months ago, you are ready to move forward. joel? not so much. he might need a little... prodding.
warnings: 18+, mdni. internal and verbal discussions of feelings, trauma and past relationships. some jealousy (if you squint very hard). porn with plot or plot with porn (however you wanna look at it). again, absolutely filthy smut because i donât know any better (sorry not sorry). fluff. voyeurism (you spy on joel). masturbation (f and m). oral (f and m receiving). finger sucking. unprotected piv. praise kink. sir kink. size kink. cum eating. a bit of cum play. multiple orgasms. overstimulation. squirting. dirty talk. you are very needy in this one and joel is very possessive over you. soft!dom!joel. aftercare. pet names (darlinâ, sweetheart, baby, honey). i'm sure i'm forgetting something lol. reader is female, no other description given. reader is mid-late 20s, joel is 36. no use of y/n. joelâs and readerâs pov.
a/n: hiya! first i want to thank you all for the positive feedback this series has gotten! [: i started writing this for myself mainly, and decided to post it here thinking that if a couple of people liked it, it'd make my heart happy. also, i have taken some licenses with joel's past, as neither the game nor the tv show gives many details (you'll understand what i mean). anyways! after the last chapter, our two protagonists (you!) deserve a bit of calm, peace and quiet... right? đ as always, thank you all for engaging. i do appreciate any comments, reblogs and/or likes you may want to leave! even asks/requests/side stories if you want to! take care lovelies <3 x
w/c: ~6.3k (sorry?).
tags (let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list pls!): @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @pedrospurplerain @missladym1981
August came around relatively quickly. Tommy had proposed you got closer to civilisation, which meant long trekking trips while the sunlight was still up. Joel agreed reluctantly, as he still thought that was dangerous. You just went along with it, letting them decide â you didnât really care where you ended up as long as the Millers were by your side.
Well, one of them especially.
At daytime you barely had time to yourself. However, the story was completely different at nighttime. The second you closed your eyes, snippets of what had happened two months ago flooded your memory. For the first few weeks, the nightmares were unbearable. You would wake up in the dead of night, sweaty and shaking.
And every time you woke up, Joel was by your side. He would hug you while you both laid on improvised beds, no matter how uncomfortable it was. Neither of you would talk, you would just cry in silence while your panic attack subsided â Joel holding you throughout the whole episode. He had truly been a rock you could hold onto in the middle of a sea storm.
It got to the point where Tommy had started to realise that something was up between you two. Neither you nor Joel denied nor confirmed anything, although Tommy never asked. He would just look away when his brother would attend to you if you fell behind or would offer to do the first night shifts so Joel could be by your side at bedtime.
You were somewhat sure that Joel really cared about you. The way he would look at you⌠it sent shivers down your spine. The intensity in his eyes was hypnotising â sometimes you would find yourself lost in his brown orbs, unable to look away. You also really cared about him.
You didnât want to put a label to your feelings, mainly because you were not sure how Joel would react. You had come to understand that the man was prone to evade any topic about his feelings in general â physical, emotional or otherwise. You could still not get him to tell you whenever he felt off. Since the blow to his head a couple of months back, Joel had been suffering with horrible headaches, to the point where he had fainted in a couple of instances.
The man was such a closed book you found out about his deceased wife the same way you knew about Sarah â through Tommy. You assumed he had one or at least a partner at some point in time before the outbreak. The younger brother didnât give you many details though, not that you asked either â some wounds were better left untouched.
You liked Tommy a lot. He was a godsend â so very different to Joel, but so similar in many ways. He was talkative and filled in long silences with stories about how they would cause mayhem at home when they were kids. You didnât know if they were true or not, but they were entertaining nonetheless. You were under the impression that Tommy was the one who got into sticky situations and Joel was the one who had to fix them.
âIâm gonna go to the lake for a bitâ, Joel told you, derailing your train of thought.
âNo worries, Iâll get the fire going. Poor Tommy is always the one setting up campâ, you replied with a slight smile.
âYeah, poor me, relegated to such unsignificant tasksâ, said Tommy with a chuckle.
You smiled back and then looked in Joelâs direction. He was frowning at both of you, but quickly controlled his face expression.
âIâll be back soonâ, Joel crouched to look through his backpack, grabbing a couple of towels.
Something inside of you twisted. But you pushed the thought to the back of your head. You had already volunteered to start the fire.
You really tried to focus on the bonfire. And after a few attempts, you finally got it going. Joel had not come back yet from the lake â it had only been ten minutes, but you were slightly worried in case he had lost consciousness again while no one was around.
âIâll go check on himâ, you told Tommy.
He looked at you with a sarcastic smile.
âSure thingâ, he replied while he started to skin a rabbit.
You rolled your eyes before you left in the direction Joel had gone.
You walked the hundred metres that separated the camp and the lake. The brothers had ensured the area was completely devoid of human existence before they decided to settle there for the night. You were now in Mark Twain National Forest, near St. Louis. You had checked out Kansas City a week ago, but both Tommy and Joel had deemed it too unsafe. So Chicago was your final destination. None of you knew what you would encounter there, but it was worth a try. The wilderness had not proven to be any safer.
Before you got to the bank of the lake, you spotted Joel in the water. He had his back towards you, your eager eyes checking out his broad shoulders, the water level up to his hips. He ran his fingers through his hair, slicking it back.
You stopped walking, somewhat mesmerised, your head slightly tilted to one side with curiosity. In the last two months, you had discovered a new side to Joel you didnât know he had.
You guessed that what happened that night also affected him in a different way it did you. After he almost decapitated that man, you saw guilt in his eyes when he looked at you â you still sometimes caught a glimpse of it to this day. As you found out later, that culpability was because he felt responsible for what those men did to you â he really thought he could have done more. And he did in a sense, because for the next couple of days he hunted down every man in that group until there was no one left to hurt you. Apparently, that was not enough in his eyes, although it was in yours. But as much as you tried to explain that to him, it just wouldnât sink in. He was so stubborn it made you go crazy sometimes.
Although Joel had been there for you emotionally, he had not touched you for the last two months. You managed to steal a few kisses from him and that was it. He had been extremely cautious with you in that respect. You were relieved he was as you tried to come to terms with what had happened, but after a few weeks it started to feel⌠frustrating. You were not broken and despite what he thought, you still had needs.
He suddenly looked over his right shoulder, offering you his side profile â to you, he was gorgeous. Feeling like a child caught causing mischief, you quickly hid behind a tree. Joel looked around, eyebrows touching in confusion, but then he shook his head as if he was imagining things and proceeded to cup his hands in the water to wet his face.
You couldnât not watch. You instantly realised that was the first time you saw him naked. The last âand, regrettably, the onlyâ time you two had sex, he was fully clothed. There was something very intimate about seeing him washing up.
You were so transfixed on the picture in front of you it was like the world had disappeared around you. Joel rubbed his skin with a hand towel â his strong arms, his chest, his back, his lower stomach⌠Your breath quickened a bit, your heart picking up a pace. Everything about him invited you in â it wasnât only his rugged appearance that appealed to you, but also his character.
You started to feel hot. Had the temperature suddenly gone up? It seemed like it. Joel put the hand towel on his left shoulder. When you saw his right hand disappear below the water in front of him, your mouth went dry wishing it was your hand. You wanted to help him clean his manhood so badly â memories of his delightful cock rocking you into a trance short-circuited your brain.
Before you could stop yourself, you placed one hand on your belly, biting your bottom lip. You finally gave in to temptation, pushing past the edge of your panties. You dipped two fingers in your slit, doing circular movements around your clit. Your eyes, albeit halfway closed in pleasure, could not leave Joel as he kept on freshening up. You pushed down your fingers a bit more, sliding one of them in your needy hole.
You closed your eyes, a half-smile showing on the corner of your lips. That felt so good. If Joel was going to do nothing about it â fine, you would. Still behind the tree, out of sight, you held on to the bark with your free hand, upping the rhythm of your wet fingers, your thumb rubbing that tight knot in your fold. Then you slightly opened your eyes again â you wanted to stare at Joel while you came.
But he wasnât there anymore. You frowned, confused, but you were too busy to worry about that right now. So you closed your eyes again to fully focus on the task at hand. You leaned your forehead against the tree, feeling your orgasm wash over you with intensity. You pressed your lips, suppressing a moan as to not alert Joel of your presence.
âAm I interrupting?â, his soft voice forced you to glance in his direction with starry eyes.
He was on your righthand side, just half a metre away from you. Entirely naked in all his glory, an erection creeping up on him. You were speechless, partially because you had been caught spying on him and partially because you were still feeling the last remnants of your climax, your inner walls crying for something to choke.
âIâIâŚâ, you really tried to excuse yourself, but your voice faltered when your eyes checked him out from top to bottom.
His body was chiselled, his muscles somewhat defined, especially around his waist. He had a pronounced V line with a hairy, happy trail which you avidly followed with your eyes until you were gifted with the sight of his veiny cock. You unconsciously licked your bottom lip.
Your fingers were still dunked in your warm pussy. Joel grabbed your wrist and took your hand out of your underwear, raising it to eye level. Your digits were sticky, covered in your own cum. You should feel ashamed, but you definitely didnât. Not with him. Joel looked into your eyes, and, without breaking visual contact, he brought your slick fingers closer to his face. With no hesitation, he opened his mouth and pushed them into it, licking them clean. You felt your cunt gushing, eyelids half closed. You could have easily come again for him, but he released your fingers far too quickly for your liking.
âYou naughty girlâ, he whispered as he pulled you from the wrist to get you closer to his chest. âYou taste even better than what I imaginedâ.
âI didnât think you wereâŚâ
âAware of your presence? Always, darlinââ, he finished for you.
Your cheeks blushed when he freed your wrist and lifted your chin up. His thumb caressed your bottom lip, his mouth just an inch away from yours. You bowed to kiss him, but he backed up a little, denying you.
âAre you sure you wanna do this, sweetheart?â, he asked, you could hear the uncertainty in his voice.
You nodded vehemently.
âYes, please, Joel, I really need to feel you, to have you fuck me senselessâ, you emphasized, short-breathed.
He seemed to consider your words for longer than what was acceptable. You saw his eyes flying between yours and your lips.
âPlease?â, you begged.
Your prayers might have been heard, because he leaned forward, brushing your mouth with his.
âThen go down on your knees, darlinââ, he whispered against your lips.
You silently gasped as your clit pulsed at his words. You were delighted to follow his command, and so you kneeled compliantly.
When your knees touched the grass, his cock was at eye level. You couldnât help but marvel at the sight. His dick was as big as you remembered, the memory of it filling you up still haunted you. It was so erected now that the tip touched his belly button. Joel looked so strained you thought he had to be in pain. And you were more than willing to help him alleviate it.
You moved your hand forward, but before you could try to wrap your fingers around him, Joel stopped you.
âNo, with your mouthâ, was his order.
You intertwined your fingers on your lower back and inclined your heard towards him. You gazed up at him, his jawline very tense. You let your tongue out and shyly tapped his glans with the tip. Joel closed his eyes immediately and grumbled loudly as his cock twitched in front of you.
That was all you needed to spur you on. You widely opened your mouth to house his manhood and sealed your lips around the head, the tip of your tongue trying to push open the slit on his foreskin. You played with him for a bit while your jaw relaxed. Then you started to push him in further and further down your mouth, as far as you could take him. His glans pushed past your uvula, you could barely breathe, just as you had imagined a few months ago â a dream come true. You bobbed your head back and forth, feeling him in your throat, your eyes watering. But you were still not close to have his dick entirely in your mouth â he was so damn big.
Joel growled in ecstasy as he looked down to you. The sight of you on your knees with your mouth stuffed, bright beautiful eyes, your tongue maliciously inciting him⌠He just couldnât believe how giving you were.
âLook at you with your mouth so fullâ, he said placing one of his hands under your chin. He could feel his own cock expanding your throat. âYou look so damn pretty, babyâ.
You leaned back a bit, releasing most of his erection except for the tip. With the help of one hand you started pumping his shaft, the other gently massaging his balls. Joel eyed you intensely while you ate him up like a lollypop. His salty flavour inundated all your senses, your eyes pinned on his.
His fingers clenched in frustration.
âShit, stop, Iâm gonna comeâ, he mumbled as he pushed back to free his dick from your wicked lips.
No way in hell, you thought. He was not about to deny you that. You had been thinking about this moment for fucking months, you wouldnât let him take that pleasure away from you.
You grasped him by his ass, your palms firmly pressing on his buttocks to take his cock even deeper. You then gave him head as best as you knew how, fastening the rhythm when you felt the pulsation coming from him.
âFuck, babyââ, he moaned your name as he came in your hot, wet cavity.
You felt his spent hit the back of your throat. It was so tangy and musky. You swallowed all of it. Ah, delicious, you thought gleefully. You let go of his ass and released his dick from the prison of your lips.
You placed the palms of your hands on your knees, still on the ground, and glanced up at him innocently with a sweet smile painting your face. You then opened your mouth, sticking your tongue out to show Joel you had eaten all his cum â a bridge of spit connecting the tip of your tongue to his glans.
He dropped one hand to break off the arch of saliva between you and him with his index, and fed it to you â you gladly accepted, sucking his finger clean.
âDid I do good, sir?â, you asked with a small voice, looking for praise.
âGood? You did fucking splendid, sweetheartâ, you beamed with the compliment and got up to your feet when he offered you a hand.
He took your hand, walking behind him as he headed towards the lake. He turned around to face you and kissed you slowly, his tongue caressing your palate. He then took a step back. The sun was setting on his back, the orange and red lighting reflecting off the waterbed. His brown eyes, bearded jaw, hooked nose, his hair curling at the nape of his neck⌠He looked like a roman God â Mars, you thought. Joel looked like a man about to fight for his life and yours on the battlefield.
He sat down on a massive flat rock one metre away from the bank of the lake, which was approximately two metres wide in both directions.
âNow undress for me, babyâ, he instructed.
You did not hesitate â all your clothing fell to your feet, piece by piece, while Joel eagerly watched the show you put on. He wetted his bottom lip while he readjusted his cock on his lap. You stood there with dreamy eyes, awaiting. He motioned one hand towards the rock he was sat on, an invitation for you to join him.
Once you were sat on his right, he placed his left hand around the front of your neck â a very slight touch that forced you to flatten your back against the rock while he positioned himself on top of you. He bit your chin while his left hand put a sweet amount of pressure on your throat. You could tell he was controlling himself.
âMy turnâ, he whispered, coming off you.
He got off the rock, kneeling on the ground in front of you. You put your elbows down on the rock to lift your torso and be able to look at him, your knees bent, the sole of your feet against the cold surface of the rocky platform. Joel grabbed you by the hips and scooted your ass over to the edge of the rock. Your legs were firmly pressed against each other, trying to hide your quivering cunt â suddenly you felt shy.
âSpread your legs open for me, darlinâ, lemme seeâ, he commended you with his hands on your knees.
You couldnât say no to him, you didnât want to. So you obeyed, dropping your legs to the sides, offering him your dripping fold. He traced your slit with his index, and you moaned.
âYouâre so fucking wet already. So receptive, arenât you?â, he asked looking at you dead in the eye, his finger sinking in between your legs, looking for the entrance. âWho gets your pussy so wet?â, he pushed his fingertip in your hole, and you groaned loudly. âWho, darlinâ? Use your wordsâ.
âYou, only you, sirâ, you gasped.
âThis is mineâ. He pushed in the second phalange.
You closed your eyes, trying to control your breathing.
âAll yours, yesâ.
His finger got completely sucked in down to his knuckle, stroking your g-spot. You harshly pressed your lips.
âExactly, donât you dare forget thatâ, his tone was so serious you looked at him enigmatically, not really understanding where that sudden possessiveness came from, but you loved every bit of it. And you were more than happy to put his doubts to rest.
You nodded frantically.
âI would never, sir, I swear my pussy is all yoursâ, you really meant it.
âAs it should beâ, he added a second finger as he leaned forward and kissed your mound.
You sighed, eyes teary, and flattened your back against the rock again, as Joel made out with the fatty skin above your clit. He introduced a third finger, all of them rubbing your anterior wall. Then his mouth dropped and sucked in your clit. Your knees trembled while you held both of your breasts, playing with your nipples and biting down your lip to stop your wanton screams. He insisted with his kissing until your wet cunt started fluttering around his fingers, a clear tell you were about to come. He stroked your clit with his teeth, very lightly, sending shivers up your spine. Your legs pressed against his head, tension building up. And then, finally, sweet release. You came so hard on his mouth, and he drank it all.
He unburied his head from in between your legs and glanced at you with a sufficient smile.
âYou taste even better directly from your creamy cunt, babyâ, you were glad he was so talkative during sex, especially if it was to praise you.
Joel placed the palm of his hand over your mound, his fingers covering your damp pussy, and rubbed with just the right amount of friction. You exhaled slowly.
âIâm gonna make you come againâ, he promised.
You pursed your lips, your cunt palpitating at the prospect.
âI donât know if I canââ, you uttered under your breath.
He raised an eyebrow, almost as if he was offended. Joel grabbed your thighs and pulled towards him; the back of your knees placed on his shoulders.
âDonât doubt me, of course you can. I said Iâll make youâ, his mouth was so close to your moist pussy you felt his cool breath on your damp skin.
You whimpered when his tongue swept your entire slit unhurriedly, from your perineum to your clit, his hand climbing up your body to squeeze one of your breasts firmly. Joel repeated that move a few times â and your brain chemistry would be changed forever after that. He briefly pinched your nipple while he paid special attention to the core of your pleasure. Joel smothered your clit with his lips â you closed your eyes while placing a hand over his on your boob.
Joelâs tongue stopped torturing you for a second. He nudged your clit with the tip of his hooked nose and then inhaled your sweet smell. That scent was making him go wild with lust to the point where he started fisting his cock, the tip already leaking with precum. He flattened his tongue against your swollen lips, wiggling it through the slit to touch your needy hole. He could not believe you were this wet for him â if he had the chance, he would drink from your seeping fold every single day. This was how ambrosia tasted like â he was damn sure of it.
He placed his hands to each side of your puffy flaps to spread your pussy open, while the tip of his tongue slipped inside of you. Your free hand flew to his head, fisting a handful of hair. Your toes clenched as he started to fuck your hole with his tongue. You felt your whole uterus contracting so hard it was almost painful. Your cum started to ooze out as a new orgasm hit you with full force, yelling his name. Joel did not waste any of it, licking it off you shamelessly.
What just happened â that felt like sin, the most beautiful sin you had ever experienced. Your breathing was so irregular you thought you were going to have a heart attack. Then you heard Joel snickering as he got back up to his feet.
âSee? Told yaâ, he said smugly as you placed the elbows on the rock to lift your chest and glance at him.
He was jerking off, his cock ready for you again. You sat back up and leaned forward, your hands on his muscular thighs as you kissed the slippery tip, the shaft, then his balls. You showered pecks all over his manhood, worshipping it.
âS-sorry, sir, can I ask? Is your cock only mine? P-please?â, you asked in between smooches, almost panting, looking at him with puppy eyes.
Joelâs irises were swirling with desire, his hips slightly slanted forward towards your mouth, his dick visibly spasming while he caressed your cheek.
âAll yours, yesâ, he replicated your exact words, your heart fluttering with contempt.
You smiled at him before licking his testicles again â your hand pushing his shaft against his lower belly to give you better access. Your eyes never abandoned his as your saliva covered his soft ball sacks.
This time he did step back, and you let him.
âI need you inside me, pleaseâ, you murmured.
His jaw was so tight he didnât dare to speak. Joel could feel his heartbeat on his cock, all because of you and your wanton mouth. You looked so damn beautiful â on your knees, staring at him through your eyelashes, patiently waiting. He knew you very well by now, fully conscious that as sweet as you were acting now, that was it â an act. And he loved every bit of it. He liked the way you replied to him when sex wasnât involved, taking no shit from anyone, your snarky remarks driving him crazy.
Joel sat down on the rock and motioned for you to join him on his lap. You joyfully obliged, sitting atop of him. Your knees to each side of his waist, your bust against his, skin to skin. Your nipples grazed his chest, becoming harder at the electric contact. He cupped both of your boobs and pushed them up, so he could kiss them tenderly. You sighed, your mouth against his ear. Still holding your breasts, he unattached his lips from your nipples to peck your chin.
âFuck me, darlinââ.
You looked down between you two. His erection was so prominent you knew it was hurting him. And you could ease that pain for him. Heaving, you lifted your hips up and grabbed his dick. It was hard but soft at the same time, velvety, very warm and beating. So sensitive to the touch he groaned â music to your ears. You hugged his neck with your free arm as you guided his tip to your leaking entrance.
With a sudden drop of your hips, you impaled yourself harshly â his bollocks kissing your tumid lips. You circled your hips against his, very slowly, which made you both moan in unison. Then you raised your body, his cock slipping out completely. Holding him from the base, you came down on him sharply again.
Joel was close to losing his mind. If you did that one more time, he wasnât going to be able to hold it for much longer. You seemed to understand that, because you started to rock your hips back and forth, up and down. He kneaded your ass, feeling your rhythm, spurring you on. His fingers squeezed the skin under them while he kissed your collarbone. His mind was completely blank â he could only focus on your sweet pussy hugging him, choking him. His dick felt so wet, so hot, throbbing for release⌠You kept on riding him, your movements growing erratic as you both were close to climax.
You surrounded Joelâs neck with both arms, pressing your breasts against his handsome face, your hips flushed with his, as your cunt angrily convulsed around his erection in blissful liberation. Joel held it together while you recovered, his hands still on your ass cheeks, fingers so clutched they were close to dislocating.
âBaby, if you donât get off, Iâmââ, pain smeared his tone. He was really fighting for his life right there and then.
âOh, sorryâ, you said with a small voice, still feeling your own pleasure. You elevated your hips, so his manhood popped out with a squelching sound.
You were not going to leave him hanging, obviously. So you kneeled before him, in between his strong legs, and kissed his tip. Joel sighed loudly when you closed off your lips around him for the second time today and pumped his shaft fast and strong, milking him dry. A minute later, your throat was clogged with his spent. A drop of it trickled down the corner of your mouth.
Joel leaned forward and caught the cum off the corner of your mouth with his thumb before rubbing it on your lips. Then he kissed you wetly, devouring you. He could never have enough of you.
âThank you, sirâ, you whispered with a smile when he was done assaulting your mouth.
He just smiled back. A genuine smile, the first you had seen from him. It tugged at your heart a little.
You were still feeling restless. Although you had orgasmed four times already, your pussy lips were so inflamed you thought you were on your way down to hell. Still on your knees in front of him, you softly massaged your sensitive clit. It was burning â you suppressed a sob as you glanced up at him, lips slightly parted.
âWhat is it? Is your tight pussy still gushing, sweetheart?â, he asked you, cupping your chin.
You nodded, tears of frustration blurring your vision.
âI need more, I canât â my pussy is on fire, sirâ, you muttered, feeling sorry for yourself. You were in a heightened state of sensory overload.
âLet me help you with that thenâ, you almost cried of relief at his words.
You quickly got up and kneeled on top of his lap again. He slipped a hand in between your bodies to caress your core. Your flesh trembled at the touch. Suddenly you realised you desperately needed to find your own rhythm â you didnât have to communicate it, Joel understood it in a second. He stopped and let you do what you had to do. You placed the palm of your hands on his shoulders and started rubbing your pussy against the side of his still hand. You slid your cunt further up to his elbow, and then returned back to his wrist. Your clit greedily welcomed the tingling sensation of the hair on his forearm against your wet slit.
You kept on rocking your hips back and forth on his forearm, pressing hard against it, sliding, rubbing and causing as much friction as you could, the heat in your belly flowing down to your crotch. You buried your fingers in his wet hair and tilted his head backwards so you could rest your forehead against his. Your inner walls contracted extremely hard and then you let go, squirting plentifully for a few never-ending seconds on Joelâs forearm. Your overstimulated cunt was leaking on top of him as if someone had opened the tap of your pleasure and couldnât close it. When the last wave of your climax abandoned you, you looked down to see how it all trickled down from his forearm onto his lap.
You closed your eyes, content, when he gently tapped your pussy a few times. You breathed in deeply, feeling completely satisfied, finally at peace. Then you pecked his lips with gratitude.
âBetter now, baby?â.
âYes, infinitely better. IâIâm sorry I made a messâ.
âDonât you apologise for thatâ.
You both remained in that position for a few minutes â his now relaxed, wet cock warmly lodged between the flaps of your still dribbling cunt. He hugged your waist to bring you closer to him, his mouth brushing yours in a moment of calmness you had not experienced with him yet.
When his lips released yours, you placed your cheek against his right shoulder, your fingertips tracing the scar on it. Silence ensued, neither of you felt the need to fill it with words.
As much as you fought against yourself, you had feelings for Joel. Although you probably didnât know all his faces, you knew enough about him to love him. The way he would have you on your tiptoes with his sarcastic comments, his bluntness, his rudeness, the way he would snap back at you when you pressed his buttons â but also his kindness, his caring side, his softness, how he worried about you making sure you were okay, his demanding sexual needs, the way he made you feel when his hands mapped out your skin.
But you were not sure what he thought about all of this. In some respects, his mind was inscrutable. It was part of his charming personality, you guessed. You kissed the scar on his shoulder as he buried his face in your hair, inhaling your scent.
âI love how you smellâ, he murmured.
âIs that the only thing you love about me?â, you couldnât resist, the words just slipped out of your mouth. You wished you could take them back, but it was too late for that.
Joel slightly froze in place at your question. He couldnât deny that he had started to develop feelings for you. The way you looked at him made him want to be a better person. Although you drove him crazy sometimes, you made his days bearable, a shining beautiful light amongst so much darkness. You were his lighthouse, guiding him to shore. He just needed to learn how to surf through the violent waves before he could safely approach the coast.
Knowing how close he had been to losing you had opened his eyes to a new, unknown reality. He would literally kill for you if he had to â he had already done it and would do it all over again without blinking. No regrets whatsoever.
But he had some unresolved trust issues when it came to romantic relationships. Joel married Sarahâs mother, Charlotte, when they were both twenty-one years old, as soon as they knew they were expecting. The first two years were very hard on them both, parenthood was not a piece of cake. Resentment had grown between them, to the point where Charlotte had accused him of robbing her of her fun years, which led her to cheat on him. They tried to salvage their marriage for the sake of Sarah, but they never did â Charlotte died in a car accident while on a heated, angry phone call with Joel.
He locked away those thoughts â it wasnât the time nor the place to dwell on the past. Not when he had you with him.
âI⌠well, no. I love everything about you, sweetheartâ, he conceded.
Your heart skipped a beat with joy. No, it wasnât a love confession, but it was much more than what you were expecting of him. You turned your face against his neck and placed a kiss on his Adamâs apple.
âCâmon, letâs freshen up, I want to clean my mess off you, I do feel a bit badâ, you said with a chuckle.
You got off his lap, the cool breeze touching your sweaty skin. You offered him a hand, which he took, standing up behind you. Without letting go of his fingers interlaced with yours, you guided him to the water. It was cold, but you ventured inside with Joel following you. When the level was up to your waist, you turned around in Joelâs embrace.
You proceeded to wash off your cum and his off his cock, his lap, his forearm. When you were done, he kissed the top of your head. His left hand did the same to you, his fingers caressing your pussy, cleaning the proof of your shared pleasure. He did so not in a sexual way, but in a caring, intimate way. A minute later, you both disappeared beneath the water to emerge a second later, to wash off all the sweat. You found yourself in his arms again, your cheek against his chest â you could hear his heart beating loudly but steadily.
âJoel, Iââ, you didnât know where to start. There were thoughts you had been wanting to put into words for a while now. âWhat happened to me sucks and I still die a bit inside when the memories come back at night. But none of it was your fault, nor mine. I do not want those bastards to win, to ruin my life. And my life with you. And I know it will take time to heal that part of me, or maybe it will never heal, but that doesnât mean that I donât want you. I want you so badly, Joel, but what I do not want is you walking on eggshells around me. Iâm not broken, I want to move forward, not get stuck in the past. Do you understand what I mean?â, you asked, your cheek still against his chest, looking up at him.
His eyes were focused on yours. His heart shrunk a bit, sharing your pain. If he could, he would take it away, all of it â the fear, the panic attacks, the agony, the memories, the nightmares. But he couldnât change the past. So, he nodded.
âI do, honeyâ, he whispered as he bowed down to place a gentle kiss on your lips.
You both stood there for a few more minutes, hugging each other in silence. Then Joel grumpily ended the embrace.
âWe should get back, Tommy is going to kill usâ.
You laughed because it was so true. You both got out of the lake, towelled down and got dressed. You started walking towards the campsite besides him â your hand in his, fingers entangled. When you saw the tent and Tommyâs outline against the fire, you got ready to release his hand. But he didnât let go when Tommy turned around to look at both of you.
You tried to hide a soft smile â and failed.
The younger Miller noticed you holding hands but made no comment about it. But he did smile. A very wide smile.
âWell, about damn time, dinner is almost readyâ, he said with amusement, pointing to the rabbit impaled with a stick roasting on top of the fire. âIf you took any longer, the rabbit was going to come back to life and run awayâ.
âAlways so theatrical, Tommyâ, you chuckled.
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The Great BNHA Review: We Live in a Society
The world of fiction! The place where everything in the story happens. So when you're worldbuilding there are many things to take into consideration to make the world of your story feel alive.
From the people that inhabits it, the cities, towns, villages, and locations the characters live in. And even having a set of rules to follow to avoid plot holes and help the world they live in make sense.
Much like how despite technology being more advanced compared to real life, yet still not being able to have flying cars or advanced robots. Those kind of things can sometimes break immersion in the story, and as a writer you would want to avoid that as much as possible.
HOWEVER! The world BNHA takes place in doesn't make a lick of sense when you think about it for more than thirty seconds, and the foundation of the world breaks the more you think about it.
Case in point, UA!
I think at this point we all can agree that UA wasn't an actual school and instead a glorified boot camp to train child soldiers to fight. And for a series called MY HERO ACADEMIA!! There's hardly any academia in it at all.
Apparently Hori didn't wanna bother with that part of the series and being forced to write "boring" scenes and just get back to the exciting battles. Like where're the scenes of the class studying for their latest tests? Where're the scenes of the kids doing their favorite activities? Where're the scenes of them bonding with their superiors?
WHERE'S THE FUCKING ACADEMIA PART OF THIS GOD FORSAKEN SERIES!?!?!
You can't just name it My Hero Academia and only give us 20% of what the show is called! It just feels like false advertising at this point!
Also about the whole child soldier thing? Yeah let's go deeper into that.
Why are we relying on TEENAGERS to fight in these big battles and save the world when they've only been in hero school for a single year? That's literally like forcing teenagers to discover a cure of a disease when they've only taken a year of biology class!
And yeah, I get it, it's an anime so it's expecting you to suspend your disbelief, and they already had experience with fighting villains before so it would make sense to recruit them. But again, these are fucking teenagers and we shouldn't be relying on them to fight battles the adults should be able to handle!
This is one of the biggest problems of having your story take place in a world similar to modern real life, because here adults actually gives a shit as to what children go through and knows it would be fucked up to send them to fight in war! And the excuse of it taking place in Japan and thus how they do things is different compared to most countries is NOT GOING TO CUT IT!
These grown ass adults should KNOW bringing kids to fight in a war is fucked up and should NOT be encouraged! But since they're so desperate they choose to get them involved! The only exception to this is Rock Lock since he already knows this!
Okay, let's step away from the whole child soldier thing and focus on something the story never gave us introspection of... the fact that we never got to see how quirkless people are really treated.
It's explained that 20% of the population is quirkless, so almost a quarter are born without it. And from what we saw of Izuku's life with it, discrimination must be a common thing in their society. So it would make sense to explore that since it's tied to the main character's backstory and how he's going to make things better for others like him.
... Except that's not how it goes.
We never get to see how the life of a quirkless person is like, we never get to canonically see Izuku interacting with someone like him with the only exception being Melissa. But the thing about her is that she grew up on an island and her father a respected scientist, so it's kind of difficult to tell how the quirkless life is like if this is the only example we get... and it's not a good one.
But wait! There is a canon major character that was also quirkless like Izuku! And it's Yuga Aoyama. And how did the story treated him?
Oh it was revealed real late into the story with no awareness and treated him like shit for being an unwilling traitor, then replace him with Shinsou who whined and complained his way into the Hero Course.
Uhh, what the fuck?
And the worst part about all this is that Izuku has no reaction or acknowledgement whatsoever! He doesn't sympathize or feel less alone, he doesn't comment or say anything about this! So it's like what's even the point!?
Oh don't worry, we'll come back to this whole Izuku not acknowledging his past later in the review! But there's one more thing I wanna talk about in this world.
Is how blatantly biased society is to the Heroics occupation.
From what we've seen and learned, people are not allowed to use their quirks in public. And that the only way would be able to legally use them is to have a provisional license... which is only obtained if you're training to be a hero.
Uhh, but what if you don't wanna go into heroics? What if there is a person who wants to be a comedian? A layer? A construction worker? What if they have quirks that they think would help them in their jobs? Would they get in trouble if they tried using their quirks on the job? Is the Provisional License exam the only way to be able to use your quirk freely? Is there another test people can take to get one if they don't want to go into heroics?
Yeah you see what I'm trying to say here?
Since Hori's so focused on getting to the next big battle that he barely thinks about the world BNHA takes place in and leaves holes in the process. The world of BNHA feels more like a dystopia where heroics is all that matters and that anything else is boring and not as interesting. And since the world itself is so flawed, that I don't feel immersed into it at all and all I have are these questions on how things are run.
So in the next part, we'll be taking a look into the themes and messages the story tries to tell it's readers... but oh boy, did it really fumble with it's messages.
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Hospitals had never been the favorite location of either of the Dead Boy Detectives, and they usually refrained from even approaching the premises when at all possible. In the early days of the agency, it was too riskyâ too many dying or newly dead individuals meant Death was nearly impossible to escape, after all. Even now, with an expanded agency under the influence of the Night Nurse, and as such without immediate risk of hell if they strayed too close to Death, they still tried to avoid hospitals out of habit and for the comfort of all involvedâthe boys never knew when someone might see them (and it never stopped stinging when someone suddenly did) and it wasnât exactly easy for the girls to just walk into a hospital without rousing suspicion. It was easier in some ways, these years later, now that the girls were adults and less likely to be seen as truants, but that newfound freedom did not bring with it any sudden desire to see what they were missing behind hospital doors.
All this caution and hesitation was ignored when Charles tapped on the mirror to check on his parents and was met with an unexpected chaos. A heart attack, from what the paramedics were saying as they wheeled the old man out on a stretcher, Charlesâs mother and their neighbor following behind in her car. Charles didnât witness the incident itself, pure luck on the timing, but the aftermath was a flurry of commotion that left him reeling.
He wandered back to the main space of their headquarters (a bigger place than what it once was, courtesy of the girlsâ tiring of the boys being unreachable during a crisis or two and deciding to go all in on a shared flat) in a daze. Charles didnât hide his checking in on his parents anymore, but still preferred to do it alone. Thankfully, his friends were kind, wonderful people who were happy to leave him to it. Said wonderful friends, however, were also quick to notice something wrong.
âCharles?â Edwin, naturally, was the first to notice Charlesâs return and immediately put his book aside.
The girls, engrossed in a new show on the other side of their living room, snapped up in their own ways.
âWhatâs wrong?â
âWhat happened?â
Charles swallowed down the mixture of emotions threatening to drown him, âItâs my dad, heâs had a heart attack.â He screwed his face up in an attempt to stop the tears that threatened to spill out. Why was he crying? The bastard made his life miserableâ
âGood.â Crystal was the first to comment. Niko slapped at her arm. Crystal put her hands up, âWhat? He was awful!â
âItâs still his dad!â Niko protested, âYou canât just say that!â
Charles tuned out their bickering. Everything felt a little tuned out, actually. And then Edwin was in front of him, hands on his shoulders.
â-love? Charles?â
âHmm?â Charles tried to silence his whirring emotions.
âAre you alright?â
The Charles of even several years ago would have been quick to brush it all off with a smile. But heâd grown since then.
âHonestly? Not sure. Is that bad? Crystalâs right, he was a dick.â
âAnd Niko makes a very good point as well. Heâs still your father.â
The tears were back again. Edwin pulled him in for a hug before Charles could say another word.
The girls had also quieted, alternating between watching the exchange and speaking through meaningful glances.
Niko was the one to break it, âDid you want to see him?â
The very idea shocked Charles, going rigid in Edwinâs arms.
âHe might not even be dying, and going to a hospital is recipe for troubleââ Charles responded slowly, as if waiting for someone to agree with him and take the weight of the decision off of him.
âI mean, a heart attack is probably close enough to death even if it doesnât get him.â Crystal contributed.
âAnd our avoidance of hospitals doesnât matter if youâd like to go see him. The Night Nurseâs lone positive trait is her protection from Deathâs clutches, after all.â Edwin said into Charlesâs curls.
âI-â Charles gave himself a breath, âI wouldnât even know what to say.â
âWe donât have to.â Crystal said softly.
âYeah, we can just have our movie night and distract you, or if you want to talk to us but not go see himâŚâ Niko backed her girlfriend up, trailing off into the silence.
âWe donât have to do anything you donât want to do,â Edwin echoed, sighing, âBut I donât want you to regret anything, either.â
âThatâs true, it might be good for closureâŚâ Niko chimes in once again, positive in the face of it all and determined to see Charles cheered up as well.
âFuck that. You donât owe him closure. If you donât want to go, then donât go.â Crystalâs anger was not what it once was, but she had her moments, particularly when abusers were the topic of discussion. Thankfully she seemed determined to keep her composure.
âYour call, Charles.â Edwin said, pulling away from the embrace but not letting Charles go just yet. He obviously had more to say, if the turn of his mouth was any indication, but he was all softness regardless.
âCould be my last chance, innit?â Charles said lowly, obviously not thrilled at the prospect, âIf the bastard goesâŚâ
Edwinâs face shifted, and Charles knew heâd guessed Edwinâs unspoken comment correctly. Still, Edwinâs tone and posture were the same, âNo one expects it of you. And weâll support you regardless of what you decide.â
Charles had a distant feeling of pride that Edwin had gotten better at this sort of thing. Heâd tell him that another time. Once this was all over and the world made sense again.
After a moment of reflection, Charles sighed, âI think Iâd like to go. Might help me heal or closure or whatever, yeah?â
The girls were up, pulling on their coats and shoes without a second thought. Charles felt monumentally lucky to have them.
Including the boy who held him still, voice low and meeting his eyes, âDo you want all of us with you? We can stay behind if youâd rather do this alone.â
Charles shook his head with his same sad smile, âI donât want to think what might happen if I do all this alone, mate. Though youâll have to forgive me if I lose my cool.â
Edwin clearly saw through the attempt at a joking diversion but smiled regardless, âVery well. Do you know which hospital weâre visiting?â
âIâm not sure, but itâs probably closest to their place, yeah?â Charles guessed, scrambling his thoughts trying to remember which hospital heâd been taken to when heâd broken his arm as a kid. It was so long ago, and so much had happened sinceâŚ
Edwin once again shook him out of his thoughts, âSome investigation is in order, then. Niko? Crystal?â
âOn it!â Niko chirped, already deep into her phone, Crystal close behind.
After some internet sleuthing, the girls had acquired the address of the nearest hospital to the Rowland family home and were taking the long way there while the boys readied themselves in front of the mirror.
âAre you ready?â Edwin double checked, hand outstretched.
Charles shook himself, âNot sure Iâd ever be, love, but letâs get on with it.â
Edwin pulled him in for a quick kiss on the cheek, a sincere smile, and then through the mirror they went.
â-
They stepped out of a mirror in one of the many bathrooms in the hospital complex, disoriented by the amount of beings (alive and dead alike) as they tried to navigate the halls. The A&E department was the worst, with traumatic deaths creating a perpetual plethora of ghosts. Of course, this was also the first place they needed to check.
The boys held hands tightly as they went, both wound tight by the noise and the blood and the general atmosphere of the place. It was far from the most dangerous place theyâd been in their decades together, but that brought little comfort in the face of it all.
Phasing through the various doors and curtains, it was ultimately clear that if Charlesâs father was in this hospital, heâd been moved elsewhere. They split momentarily, with Edwin going to find a map of the hospital while Charles waited at the nurseâs station to see if he could get any leads on his family.
It soon became clear that there was simply too much going on for Charles to glean any real information, and he was ready to give up and find Edwin when the next phone call to the desk came from a familiar phone number and gave way to a familiar voice. Nikoâs voice was clear on the other end, and just loud enough for Charles to overhear. The nurse gave the information with little questioning, informing all involved that Mr. Rowland had just been moved to a private room on a different floor. Charles didnât stick around to listen to what exact department the man was in, or what the prognosis wasâas soon as he knew the number he was off to find Edwin.
It was quieter in this department. Less urgent. Which meant something significant that Charles was pointedly not thinking about, less that send him into another tailspin. Thankfully Edwinâs presence was grounding beside him.
A nurse left the room as they found it, giving a glimpse through the doorway. Charlesâs mother sat at his fatherâs bedside, accompanying neighbor at her side. They couldnât see his father (or his fatherâs ghost for that matter) from their vantage point.
Edwin gave one last squeeze of Charlesâs hand to get his attention, âI can give you a moment alone if youâd like.â
âDonât you dare.â Charles tried to joke, but his voice didnât seem to cooperate. Edwinâs eyes saddened, but he gave a firm nod and gestured for Charles to take the lead.
The man of the hour looked frail against the white sheets. He was awake, but by the look of his eyes he was definitely on his way out. There was a bulky mask over his nose and mouth, IV in his arm, heart monitor dragging along beside him. Charles's mother sat quietly, holding his hand between two frail ones of her own.
Charles didn't think his emotions could get any more complicated, and then his father's eyes found him. Then Edwin. Then back to him. He rasped behind the mask, Charles's mother shushing him gently.
"Hi dad." Charles sighed more than said, standing awkwardly at the foot of his bed and gripping Edwin's hand so hard he wouldn't be surprised if he managed to hurt him despite all the ghost technicalities.
Another rasp, this time accompanied by a frail hand gesturing towards the boys. Charles nearly slumped in relief when his mother glanced their way but returned to murmuring to her husband rather than reel back in shock. She had some time left, at least. His father, however, continued to try to speak.
Seeing his mother's distress, Charles felt himself snap into his protective mindset without thought, snarking, "Just give it up, mate. They can't see usâyou're the only one dying here, so only you get the honour. Trust me, I'd rather talk to mum than you any day, but I cant say I'm too torn up about you going first. Maybe she'll get to have some happy years without you."
The man thankfully stopped his rasping, but his eyes emoted enough that Charles knew he heard him. It gave him the confidence to keep going, never quite sure what his next word was going to be but glad to say it anyway.
"Not that you asked, but I've been having a great time these last thirty, forty years. Yeah my death was awful, don't get me wrong. Kinda wish you got even a taste of that, for all the shit you put me through⌠Actually, do heart attacks hurt?" He turned his question towards Edwin, who had such a complicated expression that Charles immediately decided that the question wasn't that important, "Doesn't matter now, I guess. But yeah, my afterlife has honestly been better than my life ever was. Not only do I not have to deal with your bullshit, but I've also found people who actually care about me.
"Like this, right here, is Edwin," Charles swung their held hands upwards in an attempt at a wave, earning a slightly hysterical chuckle from Edwin, "He found me dying in that attic, showed me kindness as I died, and I've been by his side ever since. He's the best thing that ever happened to meâ"
Charles took a breath as his voice cracked, Edwin's hand squeezing his in silent support. Charles didn't look over to try and keep it together a bit longer.
"He's the love of myâwell, love of my afterlife. And I know youâd hate that, or at least hated all that when I was alive. I remember your rants about how all those people dying deserved it. Shouting at the telly like they personally offended you just by existing. Do you still think like that, all these years later? Hell, now here you are, dying on a hospital bed while your queer son laughs at you. What a twist!" Charles laughs, but it doesn't sound right even to himself. He, once again, pointedly doesn't look at Edwin. Looking at Edwin means dropping the brave face, and he's got a few more things to say first.
âYou know, youâll think this is weak or whatever, but I checked in on you and mum over the years. Neither of you could see me, and I never stuck around long, but I wantedâno, I needed to see. If I was the only one you beat, if youâd turn to mum now that I was gone. If you felt any remorse when I died. Iâm not sure what I wouldâve done if Iâd seen you raise your hand to her. Probably taken up Edwin hereâs offer to haunt the shit out of you.â
âI neverââ
âNot in those words, love, I know, I know. But you meant it like that and you know it. Anyway, thankfully I never saw it. And she didnât cower like I did, or hide any bruises, so I figured you were safe there. As for remorse, well, never really saw that either. I was bitter and angry those first few years over that. Thankfully Edwin here kept me busy. And now I canât really be arsed, especially now that youâre dying and I canât find much remorse either. Angry it took you so long, maybe.â
Charles once again looked at his mother, at the tears on her cheeks and her face turned in silent prayer.
âEven if you never beat her, I still wish youâd given her more time without you. Did you ever visit her family? You shot it down every time she even hinted at it when I was alive. And sheâd smile and move on like it didnât hurt her to hear that the man she married hated her family that much. You know, I used to promise her that I would take her to see them again. Iâd tell her that once I was grown up weâd run away and live in India where you wouldnât care enough to chase after us. Sheâd swat me for that. Disrespecting you. It always came back to you. Which is just how you wanted it, right? The whole world revolving around you? So fucking glad I got out of there. I shouldnât have had to die for that, but whatever. It let me live free of you. And soon enough I wonât have to worry about you at all.â
Shoes squeaked obnoxiously right outside the door. Charles glanced up just in time to see Niko giving him a thumbs up as Crystal pulled her away from the glass. Turning back, he was glad to see his mother hadnât turned away from her husband. No need to confuse her or get the girls in trouble.
Charles sighed and turned back to his father, âNot really sure what else to say here. Edwin? Any ideas?â
Edwin thankfully took the playful question as seriously as Charles meant it, âHmm. You could tell him about hell if youâd like to be especially vindictive. Or take the moral high ground and forgive him for all he did to you. Crystal and I would also be happy to curse him for all he did if youâd like. Literally or figuratively.â
Charles genuinely laughed at how his fatherâs eyes widened, âWhile that sounds tempting, heâs already on his way out. All weâd do is freak out my mum.â
Edwin gave him a soft smile, âOf course. Just a suggestion.â
He returned the smile and squeezed his hand in thanks before turning back to his father, âRight. Well dad, Iâm glad I caught you before Death did. I wonât speak to hell or anything, donât want to jinx it, but I hope you get what you deserve. Iâm not going to stick around to find out. And I wonât forgive you, either. You were a right bastard and I still struggle with getting you out of my head even after literally dying. So you donât deserve my forgiveness, honestly. Iâll keep an eye on mum, but thatâs for her and my sake, not for yours. Probably wonât go to your funeral or any of that, either. Iâll be a little mad if they bury you next to me, but those are just bones by now so I guess it doesnât really matter. Yeah. I think thatâs it. No forgiveness, no love, just hope you get what you deserve and that I never have to see you again. That about sums it up.â
Edwin squeezed his hand again, drawing his attention, and speaking softly, âDoes that mean youâd like to go? We can wait if you want to be sure.â
Charles once again felt overwhelmed with it all, particularly with how lucky he was to have Edwin. He didnât want to start crying here, so he just nodded and pulled Edwin with him out of the room.
âHowâd it go?â Crystal asked from her seat in the hall chair, Niko nodding next to her.
âHeâs dying alright. Gave him a piece of my mind. But Iâm ready to never think about him again, honestly.â Charles tried to make light of it, but it was clear none of them bought it. He blinked up towards the ceiling to keep the tears away just a bit longer.
âOnce we get back to the apartment, expect plenty of hugs from us.â Niko informed him, eyes glancing down the hall at the others down the way.
Charles smiled, âNoted. Sorry to make you come all the way out here, guys.â
âNope, none of thatââ Crystal started, but was cut off by nurses suddenly rushing towards the room, obvious some alarm or something had been pulled. The girls stood in a rush to get out of the way.
âWeâll see you back at the apartment!â Niko called back to the boys as they took their leave.
Edwin held his arm out, the way he did when he wanted Charles to feel especially cherished, âShall we?â
Charles turned very purposefully away from the door and took the offered arm with a thankful smile. He would need to have a proper cry and rant and rave about all of this later, he was sure. Heâd come to learn that all those complicated emotions donât just go away when you ignore them. But, for now, he was happy to hold onto his partner and get the bloody hell out of this hospital.
~
EDIT: now with part 2 !!
#dbda fanfic#dbda ficlet#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#charles rowland#Charles rowland centric#Charles rowlandâs parents#edwin payne#edwin paine#crystal palace#crystal palace surname von hoverkraft#Niko sasaki#payneland#paineland#palasaki#everyone lives#several years post show#I would usually cw death but like#the whole show is about ghosts#so#cw canonical discussions of abuse#Charlesâs father is a dick#which is also canon#not sure how else to tag this but hopefully it finds the right people#I may write a part two with his motherâs passing#thatâs actually what I wanted to write today but then this happened#Iâm a big proponent of women outliving their shitty husbands#so Charlesâs mom gets some of that#dbda
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