#also how would the MC know what exists outside of her perception
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2023 reads // twitter thread  Â
Into the Midnight Void
part two of a chaotic fantasy duology
our unhinged lesbians try to survive and take power in a gory world of dark magic where water is running out, after more is revealed about the world they live in
i donât believe in the glorification of murder but i do believe in the empowerment of women
#Into the Midnight Void#beyond the ruby veil#this is so fun#i forgot it really goes all out on the horribleness and violence lmao#but like alsoâŚ.doesnât take itself too seriously?#obsessed with this one 1 star review that says theyâre all narcissistic psychopaths who are all abusive to each other and think itâs okay to#kill people as if thatâs not the POINT OF THE BOOK OH MY GOD#donât read this book if you think itâs mean to kill people I guess :(#it is like. I canât not want to know more wider worldbuilding. like what exists outside of these cities? is there. nature. is that a thing t#that exists. what about like. production and resources#but also thatâs not the POINT itâs more conceptual and if you try make it logical it will fall apart. which tbh we need more YA sff that jus#just zeroes in on a concept for the vibes#and characterisation#also how would the MC know what exists outside of her perception#I also think that the succinctness of the worldbuilding that is only informed by what the plot needs is what makes it work re: being centred#on horrible villains#if there was too much external worldbuilding you would have to consider the implications of the terrible things more and it wouldnât be as f#fun#anyway way. the lesbians rip out and eat more peoples eyeballs
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( Wasn't sure were to ask this so I ask in both blog, sorry ) It's time for Victor to act like the suggar daddy he truly is! Do you thinkk if Mc has insecurities about her body he would pay for her plastic surgery? And what about the other boys (since we know they have to money to pay for too)
( ËâŁË)âĄ
Short answer: Money isnât a problem for them, but I can 101% guarantee that giving MC money to go for plastic surgery wouldnât be the first thing they do in response to MC voicing her insecurities!
Even if MC decides to undergo the procedure, she would insist that she pays for it herself (though theyâll find a way to do it anyway lol)
Long answer i.e. a headcanon on how the guys (aside from Lucien because I havenât figured out his characterisation)Â deal with an MC who's insecure about her body:
[ VICTOR ]
MC has felt insecure about her body long before they even met
Such negativity sinks its fangs deeper into her psyche each time she attends business functions with Victor, where she sees classy women decked out in gorgeous dresses, showing off their hourglass figures
Not to mention the condescending way they look her up and down as though she isn't fit to stand beside Victor
As expected of the CEO of LFG, he quickly figures out whatâs going on after MC repeatedly rejects having sumptuous meals at Souvenir, and stops asking for her favourite pudding
After broaching the topic with her carefully, he listens to her quietly as she relates how she was bullied because of her body when she was younger, and how their words have lingered over the years
When her voice cracks and the floodgates open, he wipes her tears away and wraps her in his arms
In a soothing voice, he tells her about how he has always believed that a personâs true beauty radiates from inner confidence and a strong will
Which is why he found MC a sight to behold from the very moment she stood up to him outside his office, eyes burning with a resoluteness reminding him of an unforgettable girl from his past
Coupled with her kindness, authenticity, and adorable naivety, sheâs become the most beautiful woman to exist in his eyes
Victor knows that merely one nightâs worth of warm embraces and whispered words isnât enough to erase the perception MC has of herself
But itâs okay.
He has an entire lifetime to replace the thoughtless words of immature minds with his genuine words and ineffable love
Afterwards, he changes the recipes for MCâs favourite pudding and dishes so that theyâre more guilt-free yet taste just as, if not more, delicious
(Kiro is more than happy to undertake the important role of being a taste tester while Victor experiments with the ingredients for weeks)
[ KIRO ]
Ever since they started dating, MC has been collecting celebrity magazines featuring Kiro
It isnât a cheap hobby, so MC decides to make the price worthwhile by imbibing the magazines in their entirety
Which leads her to grow accustomed to seeing pictures of gorgeous swimsuit models with their perfect bodies and perfect faces
Itâs only a matter of time before she starts comparing herself to them each time she looks into the mirror
When Kiro figures out why MC has been rejecting his offers to head out for supper, heâs honestly a little frightened
Heâs witnessed how certain celebrities in the entertainment circle have taken extreme measures to maintain an impossible figure, or how they became addicted to plastic surgery to the point of no return
With Savinâs permission, he takes MC backstage during a shoot so she can see just how normal the models and actors look without makeup and the proper lighting
He also brings MC to the editorial department so she can see for herself just how much retouching goes on before celebrity magazines are published
As an expert on effective dieting thanks to Savin, he constructs a diet and exercising regime which he does alongside MC (which caters for the occasional treat of hotpot and snacks)
[ SHAW ]
When MC bursts into tears after he goes too far with a joke about her appearance, Shaw has absolutely. no. idea. what. to. do.
MC knows deep down that Shaw didnât mean what he said, but it channelled way too many memories of the time she was bullied ruthlessly for her body
His band mates arenât that reliable when it comes to dealing with the workings of the female mind, so he decides to go with his gut:
âIâm sorry, okay? Iâll let you throw empty cola bottles at me later.â
âYou can paint a bunny on my skateboard like you wanted.â
âSharky doesnât like seeing you cry.â
In the end, he pulls her into a hug and gives her gentle pats on the head
"They made fun of your body? Tch, what do they know? You fit perfectly in my arms, and thatâs what matters.â
[ GAVIN ]
He gets suspicious when MC churns out yet another flimsy excuse on why she canât make it for a gathering with his team in STF
When he finally asks her about it, she admits that dating the epitome of male fitness doesnât help with the insecurities about her body which had taken root since her days in Loveland High
He takes a while to internalise this fact.
For someone who is so beautiful inside and out, how could such a thought exist in her mind for even a split second, let alone years?
Even so, he doesnât shove her concerns aside.
âYouâre beautiful.â
He repeats this phrase numerous times as he traces soothing circles on her back.
Someday, MC believes sheâll have the confidence to finally meet the team Gavin is so proud to work with
But in the meantime, sheâll take things one step at a time
First, sheâll have confidence in Gavinâs words.
(Spoiler alert: when the team does end up meeting her, they absolutely adore their Mrs Commander)
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Peaceful (Kamilah Sayeed & MC)
Book:Â Bloodbound (property of Pixelberry Studios)
Pairing:Â Kamilah Sayeed & MC: Amy (I do not own those characters, theyâre the property of Pixelberry Studios as well.)
Warnings:Â let me think...
fluff- mhm, I think it might seem like that
smut- maybe some hints
angst- oh yeahÂ
Rating:Â Mature
Based on the one word anon request:Â peaceful
Authorâs note:Â Â Iâm not a native English speaker, Iâm sorry for any mistakes (feel free to correct me).
Huge thanks to the person who requested this fic đ I really hope I didn't make any stupid mistakes. These days were a little bit crazy for me, and my ability to focus is... well, it doesn't exist đđ Â
Also, I'm sorry if you expected a different type of story. I tried to write something less obvious. You know, trying to be original hahaha đ
~ 1500 words
----------------------
Peaceful
Pair of eyes opened lazily in the middle of the night, revealing a light shade of green. Both irises were glowing in the darkness as if they were never supposed to belong on the human's face.
Though, the human, is for sure, not the best word to describe Amy Sayeed.
The young, blonde woman lifted herself slowly on elbows as her muscles were waking up little by little after a deep sleep. It was still dark outside at this late hour, so she blinked a few times, trying to focus her vision on the surroundings.
"What woke me up?" crossed her mind silently as if her thoughts were afraid to disturb the night.
But the question was meant to fade away soon enough.
Because at that moment, Amy's attention was drawn to the person lying beside her on the bed. Her sleepy stare moved on the brown hair resting on the mattress, following the path of single strands spread on the woman's bare shoulders brightened by the intense light of the moon.
Amy couldn't take her eyes away from this shiny skin, knowing too well the feeling of touching it. The sensation of being able to kiss this trail down the muscular arm, straight to the wrist. And from there, slowly move to her palm. To finally reach this one finger on which she was wearing her ring during the day.
The ring that stands for their life being tied up with vows. Letting everyone else know that these two belong to each other.
Amy's mind worked faster as she followed the trace of faint marks on Kamilah's arm. A reminder of how their last night ended. Of how her own nails were holding onto brunette's skin, digging deep, holding tight. Just to scratch painfully on their journey to the edge.
It's been so long since she felt exhaustion.
So long since she knew what it meant to lose all the strength.
The same strength that received an entirely new meaning since the day she was turned. That day everything changed irreversibly.
With this thought, Amy lifted herself from the bed, making sure to not cause any unnecessary noise. She moved like a predator during the hunt, carefully choosing steps, aware of weak points of her surroundings.
She has been the predator ever since she could remember.
Finally, Amy approached the window without waking up her wife, which was, by itself, an impressive achievement. She was a good student from the start, with great potential, naturally gifted. But she knew too well that it took much more than that to outsmart Kamilah Sayeed.
The young woman stood there, staring at the smooth surface of the glass, meeting with her own reflection. Her hair was messy, pointing in all directions, so she reached there with her hands, trying to smooth it a little bit. As her fingers were brushing her hair, she smiled at the flashback of how stylized it was last evening.
It was the day of their wedding anniversary, one of many that they had the opportunity to experience throughout the years.
So there they were every single year, trying to make this day perfect, even after long decades of celebration. In an attempt to repeat the atmosphere of their wedding, they would not see each other until the hour of walking down the aisle.
This time, they met by one of the fanciest restaurants in New York.
Just to... spend there barely a minute.
Amy's eyes met with her reflection once again. She moved her hand to her mouth to finally wipe away the red stain. Even though it was so tempting to just lick it, to give it a taste this one more time.
Because no matter how many times she had the opportunity to do that, it seemed like never enough. The metallic flavor of blood became addictive after years of feeding. It affected her mind like a drug, stimulating her body more than anything else discovered on the Earth.
Amy moved both hands on the glass, cooling down her already icy skin. And as she did that, her mind took her on the journey back to the last evening.
***
She just moved her hands away from the window as the limousine stopped right by the previously arranged place. The chauffeur helped her get out of the car only to step aside right after to let Amy meet her date for the night.
Her date, for all nights for eternity.
"Perfect timing," a husky, feminine voice warmed Amy's heart, making her eyes search for the source.
To find this deep, chestnut stare, intensively keeping her own.
Amy's mouth slightly opened as she admired the view before her, taking these well-known for her features without blinking. Watching her wife wearing a new elegant suit, previously bought just for the occasion. Her necklace was glowing so brightly on top of it, outshining stars on the sky.
"Kamilah," Amy worshipped the sound of this name even after so many years spent together.
A smile appeared on their faces as they fell in each other's embrace, hugging tightly. Even if it was just half a day, once in a year keeping them apart like this, the reunion always felt special.
Kamilah pulled back after a moment, getting the full picture of her wife. Her eyes were shining more with every second as she did so, daring to flash with red. Finally, they looked at each other directly as a small smirk danced in the corner of the brunette's mouth.
"You look absolutely ravishing," Kamilah spoke aloud, not caring about people passing by. "And I really love this," her hand moved up with those words.
She wrapped a single curly strand that managed to escape from the rest of Amy's stylized hair. Kamilah played with it for a second just to move her hand back soon after, accidentally touching the sensitive skin on her wife's neck.
Touching it enough to send shivers down her spine.
To make her cheeks blush under her gaze, receiving the reaction that she waited for.
"Lily did her best to make it the same way," Amy smiled, trying to deflect the conversation from her. "And you look so beautiful, as always."
***
So beautiful.
Amy turned around, pressing her back against the window. Green eyes wandered on the body of her loved one, studying shapes she had known for so long, but they never ceased to amaze her.
The woman moved her gaze down the mattress all the way to the floor, looking through the clothes they wore that night. Amy's dress was now ripped apart in pieces, the black material threatened to disappear into the darkness.
Her body shivered uncontrollably at the flashback of how it felt when the fabric was torn apart on her body. How its last strings tried to stand in the way but eventually let go under the force of strong hands attempting to untie them.
She remembered the rush they were in. That excitement followed by adrenaline in their veins.
The intense taste of fresh blood still perceptible in their throats as they kissed passionately.
"Are we monsters?"
It has been so long since she asked this question aloud. So long since she tried to fool herself with excuses.
So unbelievably long since she finally realized that the answer was right there all along.
***
"Reservation for Sayeed, please."
They were standing side by side, ready for the waiter to show them their table. The restaurant they chose had the best reviews of all in the entire city. It was filled with famous figures, influential people, just like them.
Women planned to start their celebration by the bottle of wine and exquisite food, but something else got their attention.
Because at that moment, a strong scent hit them both, too strong to ignore. It caused Amy to dig nails in her wife's skin, scratching it under the suit as if making sure that she didn't miss it.
But her chestnut eyes were already filled with a spark of crimson.
"Actually," Kamilah spoke with a new tone, pulling her date closer to show affection. "I think we will change our plans for tonight," she smirked at the waiter, who nodded meaningfully without a word.
Soon enough, they found themselves outside, hit by the cold stroke of the night, both staring in the same direction.
Both tempted by sweetness carried by the wind.
They walked together casually, hand by hand, just to stop right in front of their destination. But even then, Kamilah took her time to gently touch Amy's cheek with one hand, leaning down to place the softest of kisses on her lips.
Only to pull back a moment after with the smirk.
"Happy anniversary, my love."
***
A subtle smile appeared on Amy's face after she joined her wife in bed.
She crawled silently behind Kamilah's body, breathing in the intoxicating scent of lavender. That's when it hit her.
Silence.
After those long decades of immortal life, filled with screams and begging for mercy, it was finally silent.
Silent to the point, it interrupted her dream.
But Amy already closed her eyes again, not able to think about it more as her mind drifted away slowly.
Falling right into the trap of the peaceful night.
#choices fanfiction#choices fic#kamilah sayeed#kamilah sayeed fic#kamilah x mc#bloodbound fic#bb fanfiction#f|f fic#w|w fic#w|w writing#vampires#angst#one-shot fic#anon request
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can you please do a headcannon with the rfa thatâs dating an insecure mc? iâm sorry my english isnât very good
Your english is fine lovely! Iâm also not a native speaker, so im sorry if i make mistakes sometimes ^^â
YOOSUNG:
* HonestlyâŚheâs just as insecure as MC. He tries to hide it, tries to act tough and will argue with Zen when he teases him, but his facade couldnât be farther from the truth-heâs scared, constantly worrying over his looks, the way he speaks, his intelligence, everything is a struggle and it often feels like heâll never be good enough, neither to himself nor to others.
* Yet MC accepts him as he is-they love him unconditionally, have been there for him even when he kept using them as a substitute for Rika-they helped him see his wrongs and make them right, helped him become a better man. So to know that MC doesnât see themselves as the amazing, wonderful person they are, it hurts him to his very core.
* Heâll remind MC constantly of how much he loves them, will praise them over every little thing-because to him itâs not compliments, itâs facts. MC is amazing, and thatâs that.Â
* Sometimes heâll catch MC making self-depracating jokes;Â âI donât even know why youâre dating meâ theyâd laugh, and Yoosung-oh boy, Yoosungâs furious.Â
* âDo you hear yourself? Why date you? Because youâre wonderful! Youâre an amazing, beautiful person, youâve helped me through the hardest times of my life, youâve been there for me no matter what-I want to be there for you too! You have such a kind soul, you love so much and so strongly and I-I love you just as much. So please-â he rubbed furiously at his eyes, bidding the tears gathering to go away, âPlease donât undermine the love I have for you. Donât undermine yourself.â
* Heâd spend every day of his life reminding MC of their worth, and thatâs that.
ZEN:
* Heâs a confident person. No, that might actually be an understatement-heâs what some would call a narcissist, albeit a high-functioning one-while he objectively knows his appearance is envy-worthy, he also knows his faults, and isnât afraid to admit them. He knows heâs not good with technology. Heâs honest to a fault, and quick to anger, but he doesnât deem those as faults-theyâre just part of who he is, for better or for worse.
* MC envies this confidence, this intimate way in which Zen both knows and accepts himself as he is, only working to better himself as a challenge from him to him, not for the gaze of anyone else. How could MC ever be like that? Would a time come where they too could confidently stand by his side, not nit-picking every single flaw in their looks, their personality, their entire existence?
* Zenâs fans arenât all that helping in the situation either-after going public with their relationship, MC canât help but constantly look through news articles, looking at what fans and reporters have to say about them, taking every single negative comment and locking it up in their heart, letting it infest with them until it rots-refusing to shine a light on the positive comments, the one that talk about how happy Zen looks with MC, how sweet their own smile is or how gentle their eyes are.
* Zen isnât a fool, and heâs not blind-of course he knows MC isnât the most confident person, and that they constantly judge their worth based on the perception of others. He tries to help them as much as he can without making it too obvious, will hold them tight when reporters stop them during a date to conduct an interview, will kiss their neck and compliment them until his mouth runs dry.
* MC appreciates it, they really do-but theyâre always scared, so scared Zen will eventually realise heâs better off without them. They know, rationally, that Zen cares deeply for them, that he loves them as they are-as impossible as it seems, but this unwarranted worry never goes away, eating its way through their gut and into their lungs, making them lose their breath at the thought.
* âDo you realise how beautiful you are?â Zen asks one night, the apartment dark and quiet minus for the hustle of the city outside. Heâs trailing his fingers alonside MCâs side, stopping at every hollow of ribs, pushing his fingertips on bumps and scars. âIâm not just talking about the way you look, as much as I love that too. Iâm talking about thisâ he says as he pokes a finger to their chest, relishing in the silent laugh MC lets out as his fingers tickle them âand everything that happens in there. I love your laugh, your humor is impeccable, I love your kindness, your patience, how much you love to help others-youâre beautiful. Please donât forget that.â
* And well, itâs hard to forget-even if it takes a long time to believe in Zenâs words, MC will always keep them to heart, remember them every time they try to bring themself down-theyâre beautiful. No matter what.
JAEHEE:
* Youâd think sheâs very confident at first glance, and well, thatâs partly true-sheâs confident, in the sense that she doesnât really care. Sheâs okay with the way she looks, though sheâll get bouts of worries from time to time, probing and poking at her face and body in front of the mirror, but soon itâd pass, and sheâs back to normal, content with the way she is.
* itâs hard to wrap her head around MCâs worries and insecurities most of the time. She canât understand just why MC feels so bad with themselves, not when to her they were a saving grace-taking her from the hectic worriesome state she was seen and bringing her most well-hidden dreams to the surface, making them true.
* Sheâll watch MC interact with customers, how theyâll hum whilst making coffee and sheâll smile to herself, soft and sweet and falling in love all over again. How someone like them could not be confident is something she could never understand.
* She tries to help motivate MC, will lean her head on MCâs shoulder and wrap her arms around her waist from the back as MC brews coffee, whispering bashful âi love youâs and praises to their skin. When talking with customers sheâll frequently slip in a word of affection towards MC, praising them for their hard work and dedication-even if MC isnât there to hear it, she just wants the world to know how amazing they are!!
* Sometimes MC gets really down, insultin every little thing about themselves. Jaehee was never that good with words and expressing her emotions upfront-so instead she did what she knows best. She wrote a report. Yes, a report, along with a whole power point presentation, explaining each and every point of why she loves MC, with facts, proof and evidence. Whenever MC talks badly about themself, Jaehee simply pulls up the powerpoint, puts her glasses back on and asks MC to take a seat on the couch, pulling up her laptop and begining to talk about each point until MC is too shy to let her continue.
* No one disses the person Baehee loves, not even themselves.
JUMIN:
* Jumin is confident. Thatâs it, itâs a fact. Heâs grown up learning how to poise himself, has been given constant praise to the point where he hated it, but he knows his pros and cons, and will never let anyone elseâs opinion alter his own, especially not when it comes from people who arenât even close to him.
* So honestly...unless MC straight up talks to Jumin about their insecurities, heâll never get it. Of course heâll notice when MC looks away when he compliments them, or how they seem a nervous wreck when out with him at social gatherings, but he figured itâs just them being bashful, not that itâs because they donât believe his words or feel insecure around him.
* He only realises when theyâre lounging together on the couch, a wine in hand and Elizabeth the 3d on MCâs lap. MC watched the way in which Jumin sat-his back straight, his profile picture-perfect, confidence in his every movement. They ran their hands through Elizabethâs fur, looking down at her in contemplation.
* âHow do you do it?â They asked and Jumin turned to face them with a soft frown of confusion. âYou just...whatever you do, you do it so confidently. Like, you know what you want and how to get it and thatâs it, and you-you ended up with me, whoâs too nervous to even look people in the eye when talking. How do we-are you okay with this? With me?âÂ
* Their words were jambled, worry pooling in their stomach as Juminâs eyes widened, his mouth ajar. âYou-is this how you feel?â he asked. He tried to school his expression into something more neutral, put his wine glass back down to turn and hold MCs hands in his.
*Â âI love you. Thereâs no logic in love, and even if there was, thereâs nothing about you I could not love. Your kindness, your smile, youâre smart yet modest, youâre just...to me youâre impeccable. I hate to think that you never realised all these yourself, MC, youâre wonderful. I need you to believe that you are.â
* He vowed to himself to never let MC forget it from then on. Every morning heâll wake them with a kiss, listing at least one thing about MC heâs grateful for before starting their day. Heâd do this day after day, until MC started to believe it themself.
SEVEN/SAEYOUNG/LUCIEL:
* Lmao heâs literally an insecure k i n g. Before meeting MC, before falling in love with them, heâd be unable to list a single thing he likes about himself. Heâs too much of this, too little of that, every time he looked to the mirror itâd be a war zone, his face reminding him too much of things heâd rather just forget.
* Yet MC helped him so much. Little by little, they helped him learn to accept himself as he is, to allow his heart to open and gain a little bit of confidence. Heâs learnt to at the very least feel neutral when looking in the mirror, starting to accept hsi existence as just that-another human being in the world.
* Yet he knows, he knows that as much confidence as MC is trying to help him build, the less they have themselves. Heâs no idiot, heâs been there, of course he knows the tell-tale signs of it-the self depracaitng jokes, the way they look in the mirror when they walk past, how they roll their eyes at his compliments.
* âYou know me, Iâm your resident klutzâ MC started once, after a glass slipped from their hands and broke at their feet. They started cleaning it up, telling Seven to stay away since he wasnât wearing any shoes or slippers. âJust a big olâ idiot here to fuck things up and make life all that much harder for everyone-â they continued, laughing yet their hands were trembling.
*Â âOf course I canât even hold a freaking glass correctly, why would I anyway Iâm such a-â
*Â âStop.â
* Seven didnât care for the glass shards at this point. He walked to kneel across MC, wrapping his hands around theirs. âDo you hear yourself? What youâre saying is stupid, and some deep hidden part of you knows it. Youâre brilliant. Stop looking at me like that, you know itâs true. You areâ He smiled small and soft, drawing circles on their hand with his thumb. âNo regular person couldâve gone through what you did and come out of it even stronger. Youâre amazing, youâre kind no matter what you-I love you. I want you to see yourself like I see you, even if itâs cliche as hell.â
* He leaned over the broken glass, kissing MC soft and gentle. âSo stop with these jokes. Start appreciating yourself, please. For me.â
* MC didnât know if they could. But theyâd try. For Saeyoung, theyâd try.
-Send me mystic messenger headcanons/scenarios for charactersâ reactions!-
#Anonymous#mystic messenger#mysme#mystic messenger headcanons#mysme headcanons#mysme prompts#mystic messenger prompts#yoosung kim#jaehee kang#jumin han#luciel choi#saeyoung choi#mysme seven#707#mysme zen#hyun ryu
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i love you the way a knife loves a heart; tyril x mc
[also on ao3]
So itâs true, then.
Her family is dead. She is the sole survivor of her house. And she will never meet them. Thereâs not even ghosts of them left behind for her to speak to.
Itâs something she has known all her life, she supposes, but the confirmation still hurts more than she expected it to.
[[MORE]]
Sheâs not naive to the lives lost in the wars before her birth, not really. Even elves who were raised the same as humans know of the massacre and how few escaped. She learnt of it as a paragraph in the footnotes of human history, a tradgedy but not something to be studied. But she cannot remember her birth family, or how they died or left her orâ all she knows is, one moment they must have been there and the next she awoke on a deserted road outside Riverbend, cold and frightened and almost feral.
Kaden hadnât been afriad of her, though. Nor had his father, recently widowed and his son needing a companion. Besides, Kaden told her later in secretive whispers, âI think he always wanted a daughter.â
And for eighteen years - or however long it has been, time means little to elves or orcs, only humans with their limited lifespan hold it with such reverence - sheâs tried to be that. Sheâs never left the village, helped her father on the farm as best she could, hid her elven ears for years until the summer after her seventeenth year when it became too hot for her to hide her face. Children had teased her at school, being the only one of her kind for a thousand miles, and itâs...a kind of loneliness she can not describe. She used to dream of going to Undermount the moment she first learnt of it, to see her people, people who looked like her and would not judge her for her oversensitive perceptions or her skin.
And itâs certainly not everything she dreamt of, but Tyril is almost like the knight her childhood self dreamt of. But how can she know? The elven knight in her dreams was always faceless; it was the cheers and smiles of her father and Kaden that mattered to her. Tyril tall, at least, and brave and she would like to braid his hair if he would allow it.
âWhat do you know of House Nightbloom?â She finds herself asking him, in the dead of night, when she finds herself consumed by the words of the founder of House Starfury.
âI...â Tyril sighs. âWhen I was growing up, my tutors spent a year making a large family tree. Or forest, rather. It had every elven family who ever existed, and it spanned a whole half of the house by the time it was done. House Nightbloom was there, of course, a minor but noble house with the poor luck of having fewer descendants since their nobility and loyalty to sadly corrupt leaders led to many of their untimely deaths.â
âSo after all these years, I find out that Iâm the blood of traitors and idiots?â She digs her nails into her palms. âFantastic. Love that for me.â
âYou are the most loyal and intelligent elf Iâve ever met, and donât let tell yourself otherwise!â Tyril insists. She notices, he only ever seems to become passionate when it involves her, and if he were speaking of anything but a family she will never know she might shove him against a tree and kiss him insane. But his eyes darken again and he informs her, gravely. âHouse Nightbloom was supposedly wiped out during the last stand. But there is much we donât know about that battle. And many houses, especially minor ones, kept information about births to themselves lest another house try and steal their heir. They were brave and clever and true-â
âBut they still died. And left me.â
She almost expects Tyril to shrug, but then remembers this is a human movement so foreign to elves of his station. âThe tutor who created the family forest left us unexpectedly when it was complete. The next tutor burnt off the names and houses of everyone killed during the wars. As you can imagine, there was hardly anything or anyone left. And Iâm sorry. I do not believe they went to die with the intention of leaving you orphaned. But even if they did, your destiny is not determined by something so arciac as what humanity calls biology. You can be whatever you wish to be. You are special. Humanity believes no one is special, but that isnât true, everyone is special. Look how far weâve come, and itâs you who truly brought us all together! Brave, beautiful and stubborn as you are, you are also just what was needed. And I assure you, I will not allow you to die anytime soon.â
âYou talk so much,â She comments as lightly as if he were rambling about the moss of the old forest and not words of wisdom and a romantic kindness she has always secretly yearned for. âThank you for telling me all this, Tyril. I think the surname Nightbloom suits me. Perhaps it might pair with Starfury?â
She knows sheâs distracting him away from talk of her heritage with talk of marriage, but she still loves to watch him blush because of her. She finds it so difficult to believe no one has ever flirted with him so brazenly, but again, Malâs repeatly admonished the bordem elves subject themselves to. He finds himself smiling.
âTime will tell, Lady Nightbloom.â
âGods, donât ever call me Lady again,â She says and kisses him hard. âBut I think you like not being a Lord. You like someone else taking control for once. And you like that itâs me.â
He kisses her again, and doesnât deny it.
notes: donât ask me where this came from lol just wanted mc to angst about birth family after chapter 12 @starfurys tagging u bc heâs ur husband
#mc x tyril#tyril starfury#tyril x mc#blades of light and shadow#blades#choices fic#choices#playchoices#my writing
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Letâs rant about - Fugou Keiji
This is the most disorganized post I could possibly write. Nice. Spoiler alert guys, if youâre not caught up to episode 5 of Fugou Keiji Balance: Unlimited.
I did warn you.
When I recognized the armored limo, I thought âIt makes sort of sense, âcause since heâs not driving the Cadillac, and heâs traveling with the President, heâs automatically in a life-threatening situation as well.â We can all argue that his car might not be armored, but come on⌠I bet my tonsil (they are extremely useful organs if you have still functioning ones)that the Cadillac has to; you just donât stroll around in a vehicle equipped with military level stuff in it and donât have it disaster-proofed. And speaking about militaryâŚwe might finally have some clue, or it is better to say a clearer lead, on the Kambe family business: security and/or military related. He provided the president with freakin HMMWV - High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle, a.k.a. Humvee - vehicles and other special protection equipment. That might explain why there doesnât seem to be a damn bottom in his wallet, nor limits his power canât overcome. Well, until now, but Iâm gonna rant about it later. It makes sense, âcause this area is way more lucrative than any other. Stark Industries and the Yard division of Wayne Enterprises showed us as much, right? I scrunched up my face when Daisuke said âIâm simply here as proxy for my grandmother.â I connected the dot âOh, so thatâs why he was looking so cold/pensive (laughing fit because my stupid brain made the connection between pensive and Purple Hyacinth [if you donât know this webcomic, please check it out on Webtoon, itâs a good story]) with the news at the beginning of the episode. Granny Kambe was sick or something, so she might have persuaded him into going.â I still donât get why Haru didnât know, but Iâm sure Daisuke had his reasons⌠I also thought that Daisuke is not the only one available, right? What about best girl Suzue? Daisuke is not exactly a people person, but what do we know, maybe she was going to go and Daisuke got in the way to not have her have to deal with nasty issues.
What I was definitely not see coming was Daisukeâs âNo. There will not be a day where I succeed as head of the family.â
My plot bunny had a seizure right then and there. Daisuke? Sir? I replayed it again and again, and I was struck by a new idea every time I did, and his cold-blooded tone, robotic aseptic expression didnât help in the least. Heâs impassive while he speaks, heâs emotionless. And thatâs terrifying. Itâs a horrible display, at least for me, because episode 4 showed us he cares, heâs capable of feeling emotions, and pretty strong ones too.
I need to focus on this because I think itâs important; everybody saw episode 4 as it was the most randomic, epic fujo-bait episode ever. Welp, sorry for disrupting the rose-tinted dream, but no. I mean, yes it was, but it wasnât as well. Iâll try to elaborate, because I think that episode shouldnât be discarded as just another episode. I think Fugou Keiji is very similar to Id:Invaded in this respect: nothing is thrown there by chance, nothing happens without a purpose, everything has a meaning. This is an one core show, with 11 episodes scheduled, which a pretty odd number, and if the story is meant to end in 11 episode (which I think it is), that means you canât fuck around with filler episodes. [If you havenât seen Id:Invaded, you should give it a chance. Itâs rated R-17, so please proceed with caution. I mean it; itâs not just a very physically violent show. There are shades of âDead Dove: Do Not Eatâ level shit in there.]
The progression might feel a bit fast to an old school, at least 2 core, 25+ episodes trained anime watcher like me, but as long as itâs organic, thatâs totally fine. Episode 1 introduced our MC, said us âlook, thereâs this angry fluff boi, which is called Katou Haru, ad thereâs this dripping ice-cold asshole boi called Kambe Daisuke: Shenanigans ensures.â From episode 2, evolution started, as it should have. We needed to reach the end of the episode to see it, but we got it; when Haru roughs Daisuke up, we expected for him to have no reaction, and many may think thatâs what happened, but I think thatâs not the case. I think Daisuke was seriously ruminating about Haruâs overreaction, and his look was a deep thinking one. Heâs not an impassive robot anymore. Episode 3 cemented it, showing us am astounding variety of emotions effectively coming out: heâs annoyed (glare shoot while Haruâs running him mouth, blabbering about being a good senpai), angry (Haru snitching him, then having to formally thank and ask for guidance), tired (sighing at Haru, stuck  dangling by the pole), salty (âAre you working hard, Inspector Katou?â [Can we blame him? Haru snitched him out, then the next day he had to hear from Kamei that he needed backup. I still think that he might have been waiting for him outside the station from the beginning, and just got confirmation from Kamei. Which made him, obviously, even saltier.], âThis is precisely the moment I would like some coaching.â). Also, incredibly trusting and perceptive; heâs watching Haru like a hawk, giving him access to HEUSC (which he didnât have to, but he thought he had to give him a chance), helping getting into the Shinkansen (he gave his mask to Haru, either because he knew the smoke used was not really harmful, or because he trained to hold his breath long enough to get himself out of its range), giving him his gun and - last but not least - getting himself between Haru and a gun. Granted, all of his suits have to be bulletproof - you cannot make me think otherwise -, but if you get shot, it still hurts as fuck, and you can get bruised, or even slightly crack a rib if the shot is close enough. So yeah, it wouldnât have been pleasant. Whatâs the purpose of episode 4 then, except for fangirls to drool over it? Hands out, Iâm not insulting the category, Iâm gonna speak about it later, so put that on hold and donât chew me for the time being. Like everybody perceived, episode 4 served other various purposes. Like the metaphors of dog: Daisuke is kind of a 27-years old puppy, because he canât survive in the outside world without help. He can use rocket grapples, breach police communications, erase data from the internet, use a torch to melt a windshield, fire a rocket launched and Karma only knows what else, but he canât do groceries to save his life, nor cut a potato without almost chopping his fingers off [insert Cloudâs pouting âIâm doing my bestâŚâ icon here]. Heâs snarky, but soft (to Haru, the kids (ep3 and ep4 ones), and Suzue). Heâs spoiled, but open-minded (he appreciate convenience store ramen, he values Haruâs cooking over pre-packed food). Heâs cautious, but yields if he feels (reasonably) reassured (You think the kid is good? Fine by me, Iâm gonna help. You think heâs not gonna shoot? Fair enough, I believe you. You need HEUSC to snoop up something to prove heâs okay? Just ask it. You think I donât need a band-aid and lick the cut? Bit weird, but okay.). Like a dog, he can behead you with a bite, but if he trusts you, you can belly rub him to death. Episode 3 was Daisukeâs âIâve got your back.â as well as episode 4 was Haruâs âIâve got yours too.â This is what episode 4 is too: itâs Haru having Daisukeâs back. Itâs Haru having patience and understanding, after Daisuke giving him his absolute trust and resources. Unlimited. They started sensing each other out from episode 1. With not really good results at the beginning, but itâs an understandable situation. Think from each otherâs perspective: Haruâs a experienced police officer, who has Daisuke crashing into his life with very unorthodox methods and no chills, throwing money around without a second thought, pretentious and disrespectful. Itâs almost physiological for him to try to deck him down at first glance. From Daisukeâs point of view, he might not know better, heâs socially awkward, civilian life interaction none existent. But most of all, we donât know why he chose MCPD, nor how was he trained. Heck we have come clues, but not guarantees until we hear it from his mouth.
Yeah, Iâm talking about you, Nakamura Chosuke, from that weird-ass look you gave each other in episode 2 coming out of the interrogation rooms, from the fact that in the OP youâre standing still while the rest of the team is moving forward and only Daisuke is going the opposite way towards you, from the fact that you might know way more than we may be comfortable with. You and Daisuke know each other, or at least know whatâs up, and weâre gonna find out. Preferably soon, without having one of you dying. Please.
Daisuke needs to test the waters, to see who can be trusted and who canât; it is very likely that heâs a pretty serious issue, something which he need someone to trust his life with. That, and also that his âtrainingâ might have made him âsomewhat selfishâ, sometimes too cold, too unresponsive for his own good. But watch my words, he might be like this sometimes, because reasons, but heâs always on his toes, and heâs always listening. He listened to Haru while he ranted at him in episode 2, he listened to Haru while he asked him for help in episode 3, he listened to Haru while he herded him around in episode 4. Episode 4 served to provide Daisuke an alternative. It was not just about a tantrum. Story-wise, it gives Daisuke a space in which he feels safe, a zone his Kambe life canât break into, as long as he doesnât want it to reach him. Or at least, this is what he perceives.
Like someone said, when heâs saying that heâs not gonna inherit the Kambe Group, heâs talking with an indifferent, apathetic look. Mechanical, stolid, like when he talks with Kikuko. Itâs the exact same face. Precisely. He doesnât feel, he doesnât react, if not prodded. Either because: 1. He really doesnât want: heâs not a violent person, he doesnât enjoy hurting others. He could just pay his way out of a murder, if he wanted to. He never acts to kill or harm. It makes sense that he wouldnât want to be the heir of such a vicious empire. At least from what we know until now⌠2. Heâs been prevented or not supposed to: he might want to do it, but it might not be possible, because he might not be the designed one (OPâs women?), or be who we think he is. Maybe he really is âShiroâs brotherâ, a replacement for someone else.
In both cases, it makes sense that heâs not granted access to weaponry/military information. It would also make sense to keep them from him in order to kill him. This leads into episode 5. He might have been trapped in Kikukoâs place, and grandma Kambe might not have anything to do with it, but at this moment everything could be possible. That being said, HEUSC confirmed Daisuke - and revealed us - that heâs disposable, a spare paw that can be disposed of at any given time, without concern nor regrets; he very well might have known this all along. He looks (really) slightly troubled to have to prod HEUSC for information about the bomb, because the AI butler is actually not interacting that much. AndâŚDaisuke is likeâŚgoing to die in the next 4 minutes? And Suzue is not coming? And that SHOULD be a problem, right? Daisuke dying SHOULD be in the âNO GOODâ list in HEUSC programming. HEUSC SHOULD be trying its hardest to help him. Right? Daisuke is of course maintaining his collected cool, but surely the other two doofuses yapping around arenât helping him. Put it with HEUSC not being helpful, itâs understandable for him to snap at it, asking for blueprints and directions. Because he was expecting them from the very beginning⌠When HEUSC answers come, heâs not shocked. We saw him alarmed, thatâs not how his scared face looks like. He just seems disappointed, a hopeless realization, borderline frustrated, like heâs thinking âIs it? This is really the truth, theyâre letting me die hereâ. Then he morphs into some sort of cold resolution, like âBitch no, Iâm not gonna kick the bucket without trying.â When I heard we were dealing with VX gas I said âWelp, someone really wants to be sure you dead, Mr. President.â
As some of you might be wondering, what is Daisuke doing? Why is he flooding the bathroom? Why is he drowning his jacket? The bomb is a gas one, and VX, also known as sarin gas, is one the deadliest chemical ever created. Basically what it does is shutting down your neurotransmissions, which means no impulse flowing, which stops every brain function and muscle in your body. Heart and diaphramm included, so no blood circulating and no oxigen.Not good. 10mg can kill a man. So, what they said in the episode is not fantasy, guys. Thatâs really bad juju. If it gets onto your skin (but for the love of Karma, I hope youâll never have to experience it), you have to get it off as fast as you can washing and with a binding powder. In the meantime, you have two(three actually) guys to keep working: heart and lungs. As long as they run, thereâs hope. Therefore, inject atropin every 10-15 minutes until resolution (to keep your heart galloping as fast as it can), pralidoxime (to actively compete with the substrate the gas attacks and help your diaphram and lungs not to stop) and diazepam (for the rest of your muscles not to tear themselves apart because of the other two compounds trying to save your life but not doing a really great job at keeping everything else in check). If you inhale that shit without atropin within armâs reach, you have less than 2/3 minutes.
Thatâs why Daisuke unceremoniously tackles Haru out of the way.
So, why the jacket? Simply enough, soaking it, he creates a sort of barrier, or to be more specific, a medium (water) in which the gas is going to be trapped into before being released into the air. In the first seconds,the molecules produced by the canisters will be dissolved into the water, effectively trapping the gas withing the fabric of the jacket, as long as the water saturates. After that, if the gas continues to go, there would be a point were thereâs gonna be too much of it in the water, and some of it will start to escape into the air. It takes time, depending on the pressure applied and the amount of water that the fabric can hold. Thatâs why Daisuke is keeping the jacket under the sink until the very last moment; the more water clinging, the better chances to survive. Even if, like the guard said, itâs not gonna work for long. Iâm still not really sure why heâs going for the punch tho. He loosens the bow and the shirt to likely be able to pull it over his face just in case, since he is the one IN FRONT of the fucking bomb. The only option I can think of is that heâs trying to break the pump (and possibly bend a tube); VX is liquid at room temperature, so as long as you donât inflate the canister and vaporize it into the air, youâre not in immediate danger. Heâs hoping so hard for this to work, because he doesnât want to die, as opposed of what he might have been thinking up until now. Because now, contrarily to what he said us in the very first line of episode 1, the boredom is gone. Now he has something to fight for (a truth heâs looking for) and someone to care of.
Yes, he might have not-so-gently wacked Haru away, but he was also pretty sure not be able to see the Sun again. He lost his composure and almost yelled at Haru for help. We can see that Haru doesnât argue further, he immediately gets that somethingâs dangerous is going on, because if it makes Daisuke worry, thatâs definitely not good. How can we be sure itâs gonna work? As they were being lead into the room, the guard explained that that was a NBC proof room: Nuclear Biological Chemical proof room. Which means it can withstand a nuclear blast, radiations, biological agents (viruses, bacteria, molds, other nasty living beings, organically poisonous compounds) and chemical agents (inorganic gases, hazardous solutions like strong acids or bases, explosives, corrosives etcâŚ) because itâs airtight and has its own air and water independent reservoirs and systems. NOTHING can get in. Which also means that NOTHING can get out. Therefore, even if the gas is released, itâs contained.
For all the previously said things, thatâs the reason Daisuke looks sad, discouraged and tired when heâs standing outside the embassy, with his hands in his pocket, his shoulder almost sagging down, the circle under his eyes darker than they have ever been. Because yes, you might not have noticed it but he always had those, except from ONE time, specifically one morning. Iâll let you guess which one⌠Then he snaps out of it hearing Suzueâs voice, probably not to worry her. Yes, I think that Suzue might be a watchdog, to make sure Daisuke fulfill his role and gets him out of trouble when he canât, help him when he needs, but I think that as soon as he will be marked as not useful anymore, she might meet the same fate. She grew attached, she cares. Best girl might not even know it, and if she knows, sheâs definitely doing her best to help him as much as she can. We all love you so much Suzue. Please donât die. Please please please.
Episode 5 is the catalyst. Now Daisuke canât trust anything anymore. He might not have done it in the first place, but now everything got shattered. If HEUSC has not authorized him, it means the AI butler is also monitoring the access. Which means Daisuke is gonna be under surveillance (or at least, stricter than it already was).
If episode 4 didnât happen, Daisuke will be dead, or almost drowning in desperation, because he would have no one to turn to, no safe place to go to. We know this is not the case. We know Haru can help. Daisuke might not be a fan of this, and it might take a bit for him to put himself back together and explain, but we know itâs gonna happen. We know Haru is gonna listen, and heâs very much gonna want to help him. Now Daisuke knows it too, because he experienced it. We also know that Daisuke listens to Haurâs words, so Iâm sure he remembers even Haruâs druk rambling about being a hero and a civil servant, and heâs gonna pull that out at some point. He might get something mixed up, since he was a bit fazed, but not enough not to flinch at Haruâs questioning⌠even if he wormed into the bathtub to sleep XD Best of all, heâs not even fazed by it. He just open his eyes and wakes up. Also, he sits by the table SLOUCHING. Kambe Daisuke. Slouching. In the morning. I love him so much. Haru taking care of him all the freaking way, feeding him and teaching him the ways of the peasantâs world. I love him just as much. Daisuke listens and processes; when Haru says him that, even if thereâs almost no chance to find Shiro, he says that heâs gonna try regardless. Daisuke responds with âI see.â. Which means âYouâll keep trying, so I should do that as well.â This is Japan guys. Read the air. Thereâs as much stuff unsaid that said.
A question is Kikuko then: is she best grandma or are we dealing with another Aizen situation (I made you strong so I could have a decent challenge)?
Nakamura Chosuke, Sir, you need to start singing soonâŚ
Now, I have a very strong fear: in the OP, thereâs the same scene repeating itself: at the beginning with Haru, Daisuke and Shizue in a room, then Haru is not there anymore. Iâm still recovering from Banana Fish, and I watched it while it was airingâŚ
Last thing, before I forget. About fangirls. You might have guessed, by the amount of word vomit I garbled over, that I am one as well. Everybody can react to the story as they want. I squeaked like a hamster too when I saw Daisuke wearing the âboyfriend outfitâ, when he winced when he cut himself and licked his cut, when he waited for Haru to start eating before doing it himself, when he praised him for the cooking, when he understood why he replaced Shiro, when he lent him the money to return home, when he smiled to Hattori and Suzue, and when he used Haruâs natto recipes. Iâm here for the ride as much as you are. Iâm here for the fluff weâre obviously not gonna get. Iâm here for a whipped Daisuke, wrapped around Haruâs finger, screaming in pain because of the loss, pleading to save the detective and take him instead. Iâm here for the fall from grace, Iâm here for him realizing heâs been living a beautiful nightmare, that justice is more than meets the eyes, that thereâs so much more that he can be. Iâm here for him realizing all of this with Haru being taken away, triggerim him into madness.
The wind exists even if you canât see it.
#fugou keji#fugou keiji balance: unlimited#daisuke kambe#katou haru#nakamura chosuke#suzue kambe#kikuko kambe#hattori#heusc#fugou keiji bul#fugou keiji spoilers#let's see where this goes#i have faith#daisuke kanbe#because people seriously didn't question subs even if there was a gigantic KAMBE written on that goddamned plane#fugou keiji episode 5#fugou keiji episode 4
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Today i finished Child of the Prophecy, so i want to talk about this trilogy. It will contain spoilers. And i know itâs actually a series, with another 3 books; but i still donât have them.
Besides i will take a break from reading fiction, to read the book about racism i mentioned on my other booklr post.
â°
Rereading Daughter of the Forest, I was able to go back to my teenagehood and relive my love for fairy tale retellings. I donât think i had finished this book before, because i didnât remember the ending.
But Sorcha, oh my gosh, she was a formidable MC. She was strong and with an iron will, that impressed me quite a lot. I might have had a tiny (lol who am i kidding, big) crush on Red, so i see what she saw in him by marrying him, even if heâs a breton.Â
It was amazing reading her grow up, to see how Sorcha as a child was different from Sorcha the older teen. I refuse to call it young adult, because gdi, theyâre still KIDS. Yeah yeah yeah the ~times were different~ and people lived half of our current life expectation, but it was something that i was constantly aware of while reading: how Sorcha and Redâs age gap was uncomfortable for me.
Sorchaâs relationship with her brothers was so beautiful and complex that it made me wish i wasnât an only child. Sorchaâs romance (depite the age gap flaw), made me wish i could experience something similar, at least. I loved coming back to this book and experience it, like it was the first time, all over again.
â°
With Son of the Shadows, i didnât really know what to expect. I remembered vaguely some characters (but not the MC, Liadan, whoâs the youngest daughter of Sorcha). I remembered CiarĂĄn and his forbidden relationship. Rereading the book was, once again, like reading it for the first time.
Liadan was very much like her mother, with a powerful inner strength, a clear path to walk on. She was very stubborn, and i loved how she confronted the Fair Folk, despite the constant threats they made her. I loved how she stubbornly made The Painted Man change his mind about women, and eventually they even fall in love.Â
The only thing i didnât quite like about him was that he was bald. Well, not quite, because he could grow hair but chose to have a shaved head. He was as stubborn as Liadan. They were made for each other. Although the freaking age gap existed again, with Liadan with like 16 years old and her guy being 21. Whatâs up with thaaaaaaaaaaat!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, i wanted to know more about Niamh, her older sister. Her story felt incomplete, empty, as she was made to be more like of a bimbo, an airhead, and i think that was very unfair. I really understood her resentment to Liadan, who was a copy of Sorcha almost, and so, treated very differently.
 Anyhow, this was a great read. I had hoped that the (then) final book would be as fantastic. But boy was i wrong...
â°
Unlike the other two previous books, Child of the Prophecy was a difficult read. Unlike Sorcha and Liadan, Fainne was a MC with whom i struggled immensely connecting to, and to root for.
She did many terrible things; her constant self doubt was tiring and annoying, her back and forth morals and choices, made her a two sided character, to which was very difficult to relate with or to look up to. Not even the last 3 chapters, where she finally decides to choose the path of Light and Good, make up for what she did in the rest of the book. Fainne was extremely insecure, constantly pushed everyone she loved away, and believed blindly that she was cursed and that was nothing she could do to live a life of a good woman. She was a witch, you see...
I wanted to pause the book so many times, and stop there. (This has only happened with another JM book, Cibeleâs Secret, which i began reading but never finished.) I wanted to know more about the side characters, like Darragh, Johnny, or even CiarĂĄn. I was very unsatisfied with the ending too. It felt rushed. I wanted to have the chance to see Fainne and Darraghâs relationship truly blossom, something that was the focus of the story, instead of a sub-plot (something that you wouldnât even pay much attention to). (At least they didnât have as much of a big age gap as the other two!)Â Instead, i was given a extremely short epilogue, that talked more about the outsiderâs perception of Needle Island and its inhabitants, than about Fainne and her family.
â°
I really hope that the other 3 books in the series make up for this one. But i think they will, since theyâre about the daughters of Liadan instead.
#tea.post#books#fantasy books#historical novels#2019 reads#sevenwaters#daughter of the forest#son of the shadowns#child of the prophecy#juliet marillier#booklr
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Really ask yourself if your story needs those first two pages of paint mixing and rumination before submitting this story. Your story could begin the moment MC gets trapped between the two opposing armies without provoking line item edits throughout the text. MC doesn take any assertive action throughout the entirety of the story, but even worse, Reader is forced to hang out with her before the main event. In France we like to buy our everyday products in drugstore and even though Sephora, Marrionaud or Nocibe are doing very well here, they don have the power to push huge trends. People go there for staples, not for a whole vanity. If I recall correctly, the only trend they managed to introduce recently was "bold brows", but mainly among teenagers and young women. I don need the LBD style classics if they don appeal to me. I don own a LBD because I look terrible in black. I also don like how I look in red like 몊íŹěśěĽěľ black, it too harsh for my muted coloring and very pale skin. My worry about your inner perception of the colour blue is a facet of the basic isolation that is part of the human condition. Even if we think we can really know other people, we cannot be certain of that knowledge. Historically, psychologists have adopted a stance called behaviourism, which acts as if questions about inner experience are irrelevant. I think it valuable for people to be able to come and voice what types of rooms they interested in seeing. Good place for mods of subs to come and see what their subscribers want. And also there have been a few subs created specifically because people saw demand and no rooms existed for the topic from the subs you would think would have created them. There a billion recipes. Figure it out. Or buy one. Corporal punishment was definitely a thing. Makeup was not something I wanted to risk getting hit for. I went on to a much stricter private high school, and it was worse there.. I can walk down a street for any span of time, and maybe maybe one car will pass. Get in a vehicle I need to turn around with a 3 point turn or pull up to an intersection with that road (either one), and the traffic dam bursts in both directions. Every time. When this picture is distorted or out of focus, you can feel unhealthy, unattractive (in terms of beauty and what you attract to you), and unfulfilled. When the picture is in focus and sharp, you can feel like everything is effortless, your life naturally flows and you feel 'switched on'. One of the most revered prophets said 'the kingdom of heaven is within'. No referral links or invites. THIS INCLUDES B Exceptions are Graze Invite Requests, which you can find here and Ipsy/FFF starter boxes which you can find here. YOU WILL BE BANNED IF YOU POST REFERRALS OUTSIDE OF THESE. Some antiseptic ingredients can be harmful if swallowed and can't be used on the mouth. To reduce this and ease some of the discomfort, take aspirin or ibuprofen. Also, apply cooling gels, corticosteroids or antihistamines to ease the pain and moisturize the skin. I had so many hits and misses with drugstore eye makeup that I just avoid them entirely these days.SquishySnail 1 point submitted 5 months agoI wish I had more of those experiences with someone like you, my foundation matching journey years ago would have definitely been less frustrating.Being from an asian country (where being fair is the ideal), I was forever being matched with a shade lighter for my face, which is a few shades lighter 몊íŹěśěĽěľ than the rest of my body. Ghost face! Argh! It usually the frou frou brands that follow the technique you talked about (and a few really great sales associate from the drugstore I like to visit).roadtohealthy 5 points submitted 5 months agoI got the big set of Sigma brushes on sale at Winners (a Canadian discount store) for $99CAD (not sure of exact price as it was a while ago). I don use all the brushes because some don suit my taste (good quality but not the shape I like) so I hesitate to buy the set for full price (because I am cheap) but I would get the set if I could get it for less than the cost of the individual brushes I love (F80 Kabuki, F84 angled Kabuki, E36 small blending brush, E25 blending/crease, E35 fluffy blending, E45 tapered blending, E47 small brush good for inner corner and small areas, E55 shader brush).
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First time read through light novel vol. 12. Random thoughts.
Right off the bat and I love this illustration
of the aftermath of Subaru's various deaths. Just at a look and you're able to tell which loop and death it was. From left to right:
After the Witch Cult slaughters Emilia, the mansion, and villagers and Puck goes out to destroy the world. Though not sure if this is the loop where Puck and Subaru got to talk or it this is a loop before that.
Rem tortures and Ram mercy kills Subaru, likely lying and covering up their actions afterwards to Emilia.
Rem dies from the Shaman's curse and Subaru commits suicide, unfortunately doing so right in front of Beatrice and Ram.
Elsa murders Subaru and Emilia. Subaru's very first death.
Subaru is possessed by Petelgeuse and has to be put down.
I wasn't sure about this one at first but later in the book seems to imply this is after Subaru killed himself after Rem fell into a coma.
Echidna speculated that Subaru's save points were based just on what'd help him be most likely to overcome whatever killed him and that Satella likely didn't care about anyone else in his life. But with the black shadow devouring everything, save for Garfiel, and seemingly heading for the mansion next, I wouldn't be surprised if Satella actually is choosing the points that get rid of others who are important to Subaru so she can have his love all to herself. Rem's in a coma and Subaru can't go back further to save her from that fate and the only reason Emilia is still around is because a lot of the events that kill her tend to also kill Subaru, like Elsa and the Witch Cult, so her death wouldn't exist in a timeline where Subaru also gets to live. In arc 3 Subaru's save point was set after he and Emilia had that big fight and went their separate ways. I wouldn't be surprised if Satella set that point specifically because the two were driven apart and she didn't want Subaru to get a do-over.
Watching Ram, Ryuzu, and all the other people he cared about get swallowed whole, vanishing within the shadow.
But even after so many precious people were stolen from him, Garfiel refused to use revenge as an excuse to throw all decency aside. He wouldnât tolerate any talk about a victory that involved sacrificing Subaru.
I like to think this is a little bit of a callback to some of Subaru's loops during arc 3, specifically when he was so lost in his selfishness and later his rage at the Witch Cult's massacres that he was somewhat blinded to everyone else and was throwing away his decency; something Garfiel is refusing to do. Again, I don't mind that Subaru has had moments where he's not a good person and has very serious character flaws because the story is about him continuously growing into a better person.
âIn this world, when I heard âI love youâ spoken seriously to me for the first time...it gave me, an unredeemable bastard, enough power to make me think I could become a hero.â
He was a piece of garbage, twisted down, broken, and ready to flee from everything, but those words had made him believe he could face the future head-on, never giving inâto challenge it once more, over and over, however many times that it took.
As sad as I am that Rem's not in the story anymore aside from being a near lifeless husk, I am glad that her importance on the story and Subaru specifically is still strong. Honestly, all shipping aside, I'm mostly upset that, because of the coma, all of Rem's character development has pretty much been put on hold. I was enjoying seeing her grow and the ways she was reacting to events in the story. For the audience, having her be in a coma is maybe worse than her being killed because there's that hope she'll come back and you're continuously waiting for her to do so; waiting for that part of the story to be allowed to continue.
What could he say, what should he say, that would rub the Witch the worst way? There was no one better armed to get under someone elseâs skin than Subaru. So he knew.
Accordingly, Subaru gave a shallow, cruel laugh, turning a look of scorn toward the Witch.
ââIâd rather love Echidna and the other Witches than you.â
...Yeah, that oughta do it. Seriously though, I almost felt all the sound go out in the world at reading that line, that's how much of an "Ohhhhh shit." moment it was, with there being nothing Subaru could have said to piss the witch off more.
I suppose Satella (and Subaru) consuming and becoming one with everything can relate to envy. No need to be envious of what others have when you are both them and what they possess.
He had seen the Witchâs face in the moment just prior to Return by Death âand it was the same face as Emiliaâs. After straddling death to come back, he had dragged along a fear of the Witch that stuck with him.
It's temporary but I do like this. For a moment Subaru is in a similar position as those who naturally live in this world. He knows that Emilia is not the Witch of Envy, just as most people in the world could obviously understand, but because of the strong resemblance (and Satella possessing Emilia's body) he can't not see Satella when he looks at her and feel that fear. Obviously it's still wrong to have that prejudice against Emilia and other half-elves whom have done nothing to harm anyone but having even Subaru feel that fear, even for just a moment, does make it very understandable why the people of this world have trouble letting go of it.
I know this is bothering me more than it should and it's not a criticism towards the series, but I always feel bad that Subaru has this perception around him of being a little bit of a crybaby, or at least easily upset and needing to be soothed. Don't get me wrong, I make no demands that the MC always be seen all ultra-masculine manly but from the perspective of others it does seem like Subaru breaks down easily. In the mansion arc with Subaru working himself sick and crying into Emilia's lap to the White Whale arc where Subaru gave up and asked Rem to run away with him to now where Emilia is needing to comfort him inside Echidna's tomb. We the audience know these breakdowns are VERY well deserved after the horrors Subaru has been through and he really needs the comfort, but the other characters don't know and it just looks like he's cracking over nothing. I like Subaru and it sucks that he keeps getting seen as a bit of a crybaby, especially in front of the woman he loves. Emilia doesn't make a big deal of it and Subaru has done plenty to prove his worth and bravery before, but I still can't help but feel a little bad for the guy.
I'm wondering if there's an implication that Emilia's doing better during this loop is because she now feels she's fighting/being strong for Subaru? Kind of like how Subaru has found strength in fighting for her and the others he cares about.
âI did think about it, so I asked Ram to keep him occupied. In the meantime, itâs a date between you and me, Ryuzu.â
âI am unsure what it is you mean by dayte...but I cannot defy you at this point, Young Su. You may do with me and the girl here as you wish.â
âThatâs giving in a little too much!"
What is with people continuously thinking Subaru wants to defile them?! Is it the eyes? (It's probably the eyes)
I've heard tales before that Subaru comes to be known as the Lolimancer. Given he now has authority over Ryuzu and a practical army of replicas, I can kind of see that. And it's glorious. Nothing crushes your enemy quite like their opponent throwing a little girl that them...and winning.
Then, after a momentary pause, she slowly nodded and said, ââAhhh, I understand now. Betty is probably entrusting you with her final moment because...â
Once he heard the answer, there was no going back. âHe was certain of it.
And yet, his decision came too late. He had realized too late. It was too late for everything.
ââSorry to intrude mid-conversation, but...â
A voice he should not have heard spoke. Hastened by a terrible chill, Subaru flipped around.
Then he saw her.
ââIs it all right if I become That Person for you, I wonder?â
Carrying a black curved blade in her handâa kukri knifeâthe black- clothed Bowel Hunter stood at the archiveâs entrance.
F**K! OFF! ELSA!
Crystal arrows were thrust through her entire body, half of it shattered like inorganic matter. Such was Elsaâs death.
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, BITCH!
Beatriceâs eyebrows fell as she let out a breath of instantaneous relief, forming a thin smile in the process.
âThe tip of a black blade was poking out of her chest.
ââMy, what an odd feeling in the hand. A spiritâs belly really is different.â
DAMMIT!
âThe letter...thatâs right. I wrote a letter. I wrote everything on it, thatâs why. I really meant to tell you about everything, but...â
âTee-hee.â
Ohhhhhhhh no, that's never a good sign. Dark tomb dedicated to a witch, everything else outside going wrong, and Emilia just gives a little giggle like that, talking about how lonely she was and how much she loves him? She didn't even comment on how he's MISSING AN EYE.
Funny enough, for this part I am being reminded of a reaction I had while reading the Goblin Slayer light novels. "Oh, thank goodness this character was only severely beaten and about to be sacrificed to summon a demon old god into the world." "Oh, thank goodness. Emilia's not possessed or under some terrible curse. She's just cracked from mental strain and trauma." It's just one of those times where I have to take a moment and think about what kind of series I'm reading where I'm relieved a major character has only gone insane.
It is kind of cool how she's in a way going through a similar experience as Subaru has. Repeatedly going through a continuous loop of failures she can't overcome but feels she has to for the sake of others, until she finally just hits her breaking point.
I do like how even just Roswaal talking about RBD is enough for the witch to grasp Subaru's heart, even though Roswaal figured it all out on his own. I'm also glad I saw the "Memory Snow" OVA because it does add a nice (and really messed up) layer to Roswaal's manipulations. That even a happy and completely innocent time like that, seeming to exist for no other reason than to give the audience a nice breather before arc 3, was something he figured out how to use to his advantage. It makes him feel like even more of a devious bastard, that he'll be taking such a pleasant and pure memory and using it to get the villagers to fear Emilia.
âThe current you is insufficient to bring about the future indicated in the text. Any discrepancy with that recorded requires a correction.â
That makes me curious about how specifically the book works. Before Roswaal and Beatrice were making it sound like the book foretold futures that would happen no matter what, but this line implies that Subaru currently is unable to make that future come to pass, making it sound more like the book describes the specific ways required to make the foretold future happen. Then again, Subaru isn't from this world, so is he maybe somewhat exempt from the book's prophecies? Or is he a requirement for fulfilling them? Roswaal caught on to Subaru's looping because of the book, but how? Is the future changing every time Subaru loops and because Roswaal has read ahead he knew what the future originally was and thus noticed when it changed? Subaru also speculates that Roswaal has the ability to inherit memories like Echidna and thus he can remember the previous timelines, but I feel like he'd be able to understand that the loops were caused by Subaru dying then, since that's the common trait among all of them. Roswaal also says there's no point in talking about thing since he will not be the same Roswaal Subaru meets when he loops again, so I'm assuming that means he can't inherit memories or the new Roswaal, while not the same as the previous loop, would remember his and Subaru's conversation and be able to continue it.
So to recap:
Rem, Petra, and Frederica are murdered after Subaru sent them to the village to keep them safe
He has to watch as Elsa murders a suicidal Beatrice
Elsa cuts out his left eye
He's caught in a harsh snowstorm wearing only a ripped up tracksuit
Emilia, the woman he loves, has a mental breakdown
Roswaal murders Ram and Garfiel right in front of him and admits he deliberately drove Emilia into isolation
Roswaal tortures Subaru in order to try and get him to loop
Rabbits eat Roswaal alive right in front of Subaru and likely are doing the same to the rest of Sanctuary, save for those whom chose suicide by fire rather than being eaten
The replicas are killed defending Subaru under his orders and he still got half-mauled in the process
His first kiss was at the very moment of his death by an insane Emilia
All in all, today's been something of a bummer for Subaru, hasn't it?
In all seriousness though, SOMEONE GIVE THE MAN A HUG!!!
And let's just keep the pain train rolling with Subaru being shown the aftermath of his death after Rem fell into a coma. Seriously, that was heart wrenching, between Emilia's sobbing to Wilhelm's desperation to save him and unable to understand how someone he genuinely respected could take his own life like that.
I kind of suspected this already given the first trial made Subaru confront his past, or at least a version of it, but now with the second trial being "the unknowable present" I'm assuming the three trials are based around past, present, and future respectively.
ââGoodness, can you even stand anymore? Subaru.â
...
For she was the girl who knew Subaru was not strong yet had said to him anyway, âI love you.â
ââRem.â
âYes. I am Subaruâs Rem.â
REM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't care if it's the Witch of Lust trying to trick him, the story made me need that as much as Subaru did.
âIf I was stronger, if I was wiser, if I was a man who could do more...no one would have to suffer, to be sad, to go through hard times like that...â
It would have been so much better if Subaru had been strong enough to do everything, all of it, alone.
Emiliaâs sadness, Beatriceâs loneliness, the calamity befalling Petra and Frederica, the menace of the Great Rabbit, Garfiel, who was desperately protecting something... He should have been able to do...something.
Everything, all of it, every last bit of it was Subaruâs fault.
That was why, to balance out his weakness, Subaru had to pay by shaving away his life. âThat was what heâd thought, and yet...
âHave I saved...anyone...?â
âSubaru.â
âIf those worlds continued after my death, how many times I have I abandoned everyone to die?â
âSubaru.â
âHow many times...did I make you die? How many times...do I have to kill you?â
Seriously, why do so many people hate Subaru? And I'm not talking about in-story, I'm talking about how often I see people online just crapping on the guy and really just having such firm dislike for the character. Yeah, he has a bad tendency to shove his foot into his mouth, especially early on, and he most certainly has been selfish and entitled. But he's continuously growing, continuously being made to face his faults and try to overcome them. Most important, at the end of the day he's just a guy who doesn't want anything bad to happen to the people he loves and he tries despite how utterly powerless he is, holding himself to his failures to the point of self-destructiveness. He's far from perfect but he's a good guy who's being continuously pushed to be a better one.
âIâll show you my weakness. Iâll show you my vulnerabilities. Iâll even show you how Iâm a petty, irredeemable bastard. âBut the one thing I wonât show you is me giving up.â
Rem had once said...Subaru was her hero.
And Subaru Natsuki had decided to be Remâs hero.
Again, I don't dislike Emilia at all. I don't even dislike the idea of her and Subaru as a couple, since I can clearly see why Subaru loves her and why Emilia is likely falling for him. But these books have most certainly done nothing to temper how much I love the Subarem ship. How important Rem is to him not only helping to pull Subaru out of his despair over his long string of failures but also how much he wants to be the man she sees him as breaking him out of the Rem-deception. I'm not sure if what I said makes any sense but it's beautiful nonetheless!
The funny thing about Echidna's idea for potential immortality, hopping from one body to the next, is that it's an idea I feel like I've seen many times in fiction and yet I'm drawing a blank on many specific examples. I'm curious if implanting memories into a new vessel is how her tomb works, like she placed herself literally into her tomb and thus why her dream castle exists even after her death?
I am really enjoying Echidna so far. You know Subaru probably shouldn't trust her but she's very good at making herself someone you kind of want to trust. While it's a bit grey to say if she is an outright villain, I think she makes for a very good one.
I feel like I may have a misunderstanding of how Beatrice's pact works. She's to guard the library of forbidden books and sometimes the story makes it sound like she can't leave it, or at least can't leave the mansion, but she has left it a few times now, the furthest being Subaru's suicide jump of the cliff. So is it the overall estate she can't leave or that she can only exit the grounds on certain conditions? Because she and Subaru did have a pact when he went to the cliff.
Next volume should prove interesting, given Subaru seems like he's going to form a pact with Beatrice and Satella just showed up for the tea party. Next volume comes on sale on July 21, so I've got a couple of weeks to wait, unless anyone is aware of any websites that've translated the light novels (not web novels) like Overlord and Konosuba have.
Original Reddit post:Â https://www.reddit.com/r/Re_Zero/comments/ho60yc/novels_first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_12/
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All Too Soon - A Christmas Fic (Drake x MC)
Authorâs Note: This is Part 1 of a 4 part Christmas story about Drake, MC & Liam - and their never ending love triangle. This is somewhat a continuation of a story I wrote a while ago titled âYou Do Too.â Search for the tag âblazerina babblesâ to find it. My links arenât working and I just wanna post this thing because it is a beast and has taken FOREVER to finish. Iâll leave it at that. Â
Summary: As Charlie settles in to her role as the future queen with the scandal now behind her, she reflects on Christmas Eve about her time with Drake and if she made the right decision to walk away from him.
Rating: PG
Part 1 of 4.
--
âThank you again for such a lovely evening. Â Merry Christmas, King Liam. Lady Charlotte.â An older, silver haired woman, dressed in a shimmering navy blue gown with a white fur coat draped upon her frail frame, gave her goodbyes to the King and soon-to-be queen.
âSo glad you enjoyed it, Duchess Montielle.â Liam bowed his head slightly, smiling. Â
Charlotte knew that was her cue. This was King Liam. That smile wasnât the real one; it was the obedient, responsible, anything-for-Cordonia smile. He was tired and she knew it. The past few months had been nothing less than a whirlwind of stress and pressure, ending in hurt, loss and anger. Once the scandal had been put to rest, it wasnât as easy as any of them had hoped.
This holiday season was meant to be one of rest and peace, but duty called. Tonight was only the beginning of a series of ceremonies, galas, charity balls, presentations, promotions, speeches and the like. Everyone wanted to see the King and this was the perfect time of year for all of Cordonia to be reassured that their leader had put the scandal far behind him and was moving forward towards the bright future of his country.
Charlotte knew going into the night of the coronation that Liam loved her and wanted to propose to her, but having spent more time with him in light of the scandal, watching him fiercely protect her, seeing him go to battle with his own family and so-called âfriendsâ he had known all his life, just for herâŚwell that made her realize even more, how deeply his love ran for her. She found it hard to believe that he could be so devoted to someone he didnât know all that well, but it was true. He was genuine about it and heâd stop at nothing to make sure she was happy.  No one had ever treated Charlotte that way, or made her feel as special as Liam did.  He was wholly devoted to her and for the life of her, sheâd never truly understand why.
He had gone through so much for her. She told herself that because of all heâd done, he deserved to be happy. She would be forever in his debt.  She had grown to see and love him in new and different ways since they became rightfully engaged. He would soon be her husband and she was hopeful that while the outside perception of him and her and their relationship together would always be altered, they each could hold onto the truth of who they were alone, with each other, behind closed doors.  She loved the Liam that no one else knewâŚbut which Charlotte did Liam love? The real one?  Or the one he thought he knew? She would always question which version of herself she showed to him, mostly because she knew there was a part sheâd always have to keep hidden.
Charlie swallowed hard, taking a deep breath, forcing herself to be present and focus on her current surroundings. She was going to be a queen soon and it was time for her to start acting like one.
âIt was wonderful to have you join us, so very glad you could be here to celebrate the season.â Charlotte followed up; nodding and doing her best to give a warm goodbye to a woman she had never laid eyes on before this moment.
Liam nodded gratefully at her, turning his head to stifle a quick yawn. Â
The royal couple stood at the door of an old church in the historic town square of Cordoniaâs capital. Only moments before, Christmas Eve services had concluded and the pair was giving their seasonâs greetings to each member of the court and the city, who had come to join them for the celebration.
It had been a somber, but beautiful event â it quickly rose to the top of Charlotteâs list as one of her favorite experiences thus far, since joining the court and learning of Cordoniaâs existence.
The old church was covered in candlelight. Bright colors were reflected in the stain glass windows that lined each side of the sanctuary. Â The soft glow of pale yellow lights on a wreath and some trees near the front of the church, only heightened the feeling of taking part in something holy, something sacred.
The wooden floors creaked with each step taken, and the echoes of voices ringing off of the cobbled stone walls sent shivers down her spine.  Charlotte wondered how many ceremonies just like this one, this building had seenâŚand quickly realized this was the very place where she would be walking down the aisle in a matter of months.
During the service, as the guests sang the last verse of Silent Night in unison, Charlotte had been moved to tears, but kept her composure in the front row. She stood next to Liam, a stoic pillar of strength and support, everything she had been taught to portray over the last year of her life.  He was holding a candle in his right hand, with his left hand balled into a loose fist by his side.  She was holding her candle in her left hand while her other hand nervously and absentmindedly played with the seam along the side of her dress.  It was a nervous habit she had picked up to keep her hand busy in case Liam wanted to hold it.  The habit had developed back in the days when she and Drake wereâŚwellâŚnone of that mattered anymore. Hiding from Liam had proved to be too much for them both.
As she predicted, Liam swiftly brushed his hand against hers while they continued the song, and she forced a quick smile while she gave him a sideways glance. She rested her hand within his, their fingers intertwined and took a deep breath. Â This was her life now. She had accepted it.
She felt so guilty. Before the events of the past year, she never knew it was possible to feel so much pressure; so much confusion. She never knew it was possible to feel such shameâŚnever knew it was possible to love two people at once. Â
But she did know now that it was impossible to give her whole heart to anyone when she didnât love herself. And she knew that both of the men she loved so much deserved someone who could give them everything.
While it broke her heart to move on and slowly shut Drake out of her life, she had been more easily able to give herself to LiamâŚbut she knew it would never be completely. As much as she wanted to give him her entire heart, she knew a small fraction of it would always be reserved for Drake. They had been through and experienced too much together for it to be any other way. Â
She would always remember the night it began to unravel. He muttered words about pretending and called her a hypocrite. He finally cracked and admitted he couldnât continue a relationship with her knowing how much it would hurt Liam.
She had responded with words about him fighting for her. She spewed out poisonous phrases about not wanting her enough, using her to distract him while he got over the disappearance of his sister.
 --
âYou wanted us to turn out this way, you know.  You made this happen because you couldnât handle being wrong about me. You couldnât deal with the fact that maybe I wouldnât let them change me. Maybe I can be the Charlie you know and still be a part of this court and friends with these people.  Have you ever thought of that?! Maybe Iâm strong enough to do this, Drake.  Iâve shattered every thought youâve ever had about who these people are and what they âdoâ to othersâŚthe problem isâŚyou canât stand it!â
 âIf you think they havenât changed you, then youâre delusional.â Drake said, calmly, through gritted teeth. Â
 âYou are NOT the same person I met in New York that night.â
 âYouâre right, Drake.  Iâm notâŚâ
--
Charlotte was brought out of her reverie by Olivia of all people. Â
âCharlotte.  Charlie! Earth to CharlieâŚâ Olivia was impatiently snapping her fingers in front of Charlotteâs face. Â
âYes, yes. I see you. I hear you. Everyone on this block hears youâŚâ She responded, rolling her eyes and greeting her friend with a kiss on the cheek.
âIâm one of the last ones. Â Care for a drink? We have a few hours left until Christmas Day and then youâre booked solid again.â The redhead said, with a wink.
Charlotte exchanged glances with Liam who was now speaking with a group of three or four ambassadors who were spending their holiday break in Cordonia, hoping to invest in some commercial goods and set up a fair-trade agreement on behalf of their country. Â
Charlotte had spent the past few days with some of them and knew Liam hoped to seal the deal with them soon. It would be perfect timing, as the press would pick it up instantly; with it being the holidays not much was really grabbing headlines these days.
Liam smiled and nodded, giving his approval for Charlotte to go on with Olivia.
âWell, I donât have all day. Are you coming or not?â She huffed, impatient.
âI think I should wait on Liam.â Charlotte lied. Â
âWe havenât had a lot of time together and it is Christmas EveâŚâ She trailed off, gazing through one of the large windows in the church, out into the street where a few people were walking, looking up into the night sky, watching as snow continued to fall.
âYour loss.â Olivia shot back. âAlsoâŚI noticed the forest green ensemble tonight.â Her eyes surveyed Charlotteâs attire while she scanned her from head to toe.
âWell, do you approve?â Charlie asked, honestly.
âYes. Youâre smokinâ hot and youâve got balls the size of the UK to be wearing that color. First you steal red from me and now youâre stealing green from Madeleine?â
âOh my God, Olivia. Keep your voice down.â Charlotte immediately hushed her, while trying not to laugh. Â
âYou had red and she had green. Those ARE the Christmas colors. I was bound to piss somebody off tonight and Iâd rather it be her!â
Olivia cackled while putting on her gloves. Â âWise choice. Iâll see you soon â ta ta darling and Merry Christmas!â
She waved over her shoulder as she traipsed out of the church flamboyantly. Â
Charlotte chuckled to herself while she began to collect her things. The only people left in the church at this point were her, Liam and the ambassador group.
As Charlotte put on her coat, Liam approached her. Â âYouâre not going with Olivia?â He asked, concerned.
âNot tonight. Â I didnât feel like it.â She sighed, adjusting the collar of her coat up around her neck. âAre you finishing up?â
It was Liamâs turn to sigh. âUnfortunately, no.  They want to check out the pub down the street because it looks âquaint.ââ He made air quotes with his fingers while he hung his head dramatically.  âIf they donât agree to this deal after all Iâve done for them this weekâŚâ
âI know.â Charlotte smiled, ruefully and patted his shoulder. Â âIâm tired, so I think Iâll head over to the parsonage. It should be perfectly cozy by now. I asked them to have a fire going when we returned.â
âI wish I could join you.â Liam held Charlotteâs hand and brought it to his lips, looking at her as he brushed a kiss across the knuckles of her hand.
She blushed slightly, and looked away.
âDonât be too late, Liam.â Charlie responded, clutching her purse. Â
âReady to go?â A member of the group beckoned from the doorway. Â
âBe right there!â Liam answered. âIâll see you soon, my darling.â He kissed her cheek and grabbed his coat from the pew, then walked briskly out the door with the group and his security detail in tow.
Charlotteâs personal guard, Stefan, waited patiently for her at the doors of the church. Â She turned to face the platform again, staring up at the beautiful decorations, taking her time in order to imprint the evening on her mind.
âReady mâlady?â Stefan called out to her.
âNot yet. Â Would you mind waiting outside by the door? Iâd like a moment to myself.â
âOf course, Lady Charlotte. The area has already been swept and secured. Iâll be outside whenever youâre ready to depart.â
The heavy front doors of the church closed slowly, but boomed in the emptiness of the sanctuary. Â Slowly, Charlotte sank down into one of the pews in the middle of the room. Â She inhaled steadily and closed her eyes, allowing herself to lean back against the pew instead of sitting up straight and proper, as a lady of the court should.
Her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Drake tonight. Â In the hustle and bustle of the days after their fight, they never really had much closure. There were several moments this evening when she thought she caught a glimpse of him in the crowd. Her heart stopped each time she thought it was him, and part of her was disappointed each time she realized it wasnât. She could almost swear she felt his presence around her at times, but she chalked it up to the constant guilt and shame she felt lingering around her.
Charlotte didnât get much time to herself these days, but when she was alone her mind always wandered to Drake. Â She had so many questions to ask him; to ask herself. Â Mostly she wondered if Liam would ever find out about their tryst â how would he handle it? What would happen?
Then she found herself wishing nothing with Drake had ever started. Â It made life so messy. So uncomfortable. Â Why did she give in to him? Why did he give in to her? It would have made things so much easier to not have him in her life romantically, at least â but who was she kidding? She knew that if he had stayed around it would have happened no matter what. Â The universe was unkind to them. Theyâd always have a magnetic pull towards each other. Thatâs why he had to leave.
She hadnât talked to him about their relationship since that night. He had been around some, and Liam still invited him to everything. They were as close as ever, but he stayed away from Charlotte, only exchanging pleasantries and forcing shallow conversation when they were in public.
Charlotte always regretted that she was the one who walked away. She didnât let him talk. Didnât let him explain himself or finish his thought. Â Sheâd curse herself forever for not at least hearing him out. What if he had a plan? What if he wanted to talk things through with Liam? What if he had wanted her after all?
#drake x charlie#trr#drake x mc#blazerina babbles#thankful for my tribe#i can't do anything without them#this is only the beginning#of a crazy long story#what a beast#i am DONE
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gamer au asks
Anonymous said: the first time godgame izuku manifests his quirk scotchtapeofficial@tumblr /post/163140897577/
im laughing this is such a traumatizing way for izuku to discover his quirk oh my godÂ
Anonymous said: Very important question: Does Gamer Izuku go/ne to the sunchip's place (from carboys)
i havent finished car boys but the answer is probably yes
Anonymous said: if izuku can mod maybe one day can he figure out how to make it that everyone figures out that something isnt his quirk and that the reality is a simulation or are they all parts of the simulation too
this is actually in my chat log... izuku makes a mod so that everyone has awareness of continuity (or lack of) so when izuku mods the world everyone sees the changes and knows theyâre not normal. and panicÂ
Anonymous said: what if monoma copied the gamer quirk? or some villain had a switch-bodies quirk and used it on izuku and another character?? would they just go on without noticing anything unusual or not??
monoma is overwhelmed by the gamer quirk so by the time the five minutes are up he hasnât made any headway in actually understanding it, unfortunately. it gains izukuâs interest though because maybe itâs possible... that monoma has the potential to become a real person in this simulation, too...Â
iâm not sure about the switching bodies quirk. if this person switches bodies, theoretically that means, since they have izukuâs brain and body, that they would be able to use izukuâs quirk. Â but if they have izukuâs brain and body, and not their own, would they even be able to switch back?Â
i feel we should retroactively question whether or not this whole âgamer auâ quirk is even a quirk, and not just some inexplicable, strange phenomenon that only izuku is privy toÂ
@valerii376Â said: Izuku adding Tsuyu as an admin and her losing her cool
good askÂ
âiâm sorry,â izuku says to a panicking tsuyu, âi just couldnât stand being the only real person in the world anymore. i hope you donât mindâÂ
@viperofsand said:Â A funny thing about the gamer au is people being like 'oh how did you become this nihilist in this age of hereos' and Izuku being like '...i already said that reality is a lie you ain't listening'
âeven the heroes are just an artificial construct. their actions, their speeches, their paradigms... itâs just a program. a code. it doesnât mean anything at all.âÂ
Anonymous said:Â Then he's like, 'well that wasn't bad but how about something else?' and the best thing in the world in our lifetime are giant fluff pups. So izuku wins at life at that point. but no, why stop there. She's already three stories high, so clearly she needs education. So he edits the dear oversi-PERFECTLY sized dog to attend his school. And due to her wonderful size she clips through the ceiling. Either no one notices or cares but thats beyond Izuku 2/
So, Izuku realizing that he only chipped the iceberg of unreality. He can get lightsabers if he wanted to. Delve through all of fiction, put it in life and no one will be the wiser. Cause chaos and it's everyday life. Life doesn't have a hard concrete surface it used to. when he 'mods' life into having a terrible texture. He sees the blob humans and thinks 'ha ha wow this is bad'. In which he, accidentally, pushes himself further away from reality and, even more accidentally, from people. 3/
While accepting his new unreality, barreling into a world in which he can create and change at will. People are npcs. Izuku is the player. The world is a rpg. Eventually Izuku is so far out of touch with reality, he becomes borderline nihilistic and "Oh dear god these are living humans what am I doing" 4/4
5+ I have no idea how I did all of that or what I was doing. But theres my take of what might happen (very roughly and loosely) in the gamer izuku au. I hope you enjoyed it (or not ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ). This is just something silly (is spiraling down into nihilism silly). This mega might also come out as needlessly edgy. BUT A BIG POINT you've been lowkey giving me a will to write. Don't to bother you!
your first ask got eaten by tumblr so iâm just going to guess that it was about the dog and izuku figuring out that he can change her sizeÂ
this series of asks actually follows the vague direction of where i want to go with the gamer au, congratulations :p iâm glad you were inspired to write!Â
Anonymous said: haha would anyone even know about Izuku's quirk?
probably not... thereâs nothing he can do to prove that it exists outside of his perception. at least until he finds the console and figures out all the console commands. then he can delete buildings at will but at that point heâs already registered as quirkless and this is too difficult to explain anyways so he just, doesnât tell anyoneÂ
Anonymous said: WAIT WHAT HAPPENS IF GAMER IZUKU MESSES UP AND DIVIDES BY ZERO?
ERROR
Anonymous said: So like if gamer izuku were to like accidentally die, (a building falls on him or something) would he have a respawn point? Or would he just go back to where he last saved during the day?
i think heâd go to his last saveÂ
Anonymous said:Â if weâre going with godgame izuku realizing the world is a simulation, maybe he eventually tries to break the world by modding it ala âfinal pamâ style: turning people into helicopters. setting minetaâs size to scale .0001 and losing him.
yes.Â
@angryqueermermaid said:Â GOAT SIMULATOR
im laughing??? YEAH. GAMER AU IS JUST ONE BIG GOAT SIMULATOR EXCEPT FOR THE WHOLE WORLD.
Anonymous said: I'm crying thinking about all of the fucking glitches I've seen and the shit I've seen done in gta specifically - like there's a video where mc just. becomes a fucking blue whale. through modding.
the potential of this au is limitlessÂ
Anonymous said:Â Gamer AUs have become my recent obsession as of late, and can I just say that this is, like, one of the greatest gamer AU ideas ever.
thank you!Â
Anonymous said:Â godgame izuku making mineta so small he's practically non-existent and then someone steps on him. mineta is dead.
glad weâre all in agreement about mineta!
Anonynous said:Â can Izuku just. hack through the layers of reality and make himself a millionare. take away humanitys use of quirks. save, punch bakugou, then reload the save? GIVE KIRISHIMA ALL THE HUGS OH GOD IM DYING. change the code of the universe so that there is no more corrupt people and the Socio Economic system is All Fine and everyone is Happy. glitch out and nap for ten years. please expand simk you already have my soul what more can I give you
izuku CAN set his money to $999,999,999,999,999 but if he spends too much of it he WILL devalue the currency. he could probably disable peopleâs quirks from the console, but hasnât figured out how to do it as an âarea effectâ thing yet so if he wanted to get rid of all quirks heâd have to manually do it one by one. he cannot change the universeâs code to fix everything, thus contributing more to his belief that the world is meaningless, as are his abilities to affect it.Â
Anonymous said:Â That. Was a very good AU. I approve, and it made me burst out laughing. Can Izuku pull up a mainscreen thing or just pause time if he wants too? Just... pause the game that is real life and hop over to another layer of reality? Does he ever see a loading screen when going into a new area? Have a map he can access at any time? ANYWAY I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I LOVE YOUR BEAUTIFUL MIND AND THE WAY IT WORKS AND THAT ALL OF YOUR AU'S ARE GREAT AND SO IS THE GAMER ONE PLEASE GIVE US MORE INFO THANKS
he can pull up a mainscreen but when he exits heâs in the same place as before. a loading screen when he goes to a new area... is probably something that happens. eventually he gets a map and a quick travel function. he doesnât know exactly how it works but heâs not complainingÂ
anything is possibleÂ
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considering what you've already written on the topic of eren's behavior during chapter 84 up until recently; what do you think of him as a character in general?
Eh, Iâll give my judgement when the story will be over. He is the main character after all and I feel like giving a judgement now would be too premature, despite us nearing the end of the manga. Iâve got the beginning but the end is absolutely necessary for me to answer your question properly.
Still, if you want something partial, but still long, follow me under the cut (too bad for mobile users because screw the interface right).
It truly depends of how Isayama writes him at the end, if he really intended him to be some normie who tried to be a hero and change things, but failed, or⌠something else. Indeed, the end heavily relies of whatâs presented to us at the beginning:
âNo⌠But I feel like I just had the longest dream.. What was it? Now I canât rememberâŚâ - Ch.1
Flashback? Future vision? We all thought till chapter 89 came that future vision was bull. It took a whole chapter to suddenly invert the perspective. While there isnât many chapters left, thereâs still facts that are going to pop up that might suddenly change our perception of the characters forever.
âŚJust like mine with Eren in chapter 84.
Iâd actually like the normie one because it would fit what Eren did at the beginning: joining the Survey Corps on a whim because he hates being confined and ended up inheriting a power considered absolute, realizing he made a huge mistake from the start.
It seems Isayama, who previously had a vague idea of what he wanted to do with him, found something more defined. If I recall correctly he felt inspired by Yuki Kaiji, the voice actor from Eren. He even told Araki to make him more pathetic than in the original manga, implying Eren was never meant to be the literal version of a hero, a character with admirable traits.
Usually, the typical shĂ´nen protagonist is a character who has a dream, since they were little and do almost anything in order to accomplish it, whether it is becoming the strongest, becoming somebody important, solving a mystery, finding somebody from your life who has gone missing, etc⌠Their personality vary from manga to manga, but itâs often the cheerful teenager, naive or hot-blooded, capable of being a simpleton due to his lack of experience but also the one who motivates people, is surrounded by his nakama and clashes with rivals and enemies.
The vengeful protagonist also exists, but theyâre mostly present in dark shĂ´nen or shĂ´nen trying to deal with more mature themes without being labeled as a seinen. Eren registers in this category, while building the development of a typical shĂ´nen protagonist without exhibiting its qualities: heâs not full of dream and ambition, something a shĂ´nen MC should inspire in the heart of young boys. Instead, heâs described as being selfish, having a complex or no ambition at all.
As extra evidence, his highschool AU describes him as the frustrated normie whoâs annoyed âin one way or anotherâ. The fake preview from volume 22 describes him as neither belonging to the nerds or the jocks nor having any dreams or interests (itâs interesting how the formulation here ends in âăăŞăâ on the three sentences of the description, almost as if Eren meant nothing), despite the wannabeâs reputation being neutral. Thatâs kinda sad when you think about it actually, because at his core, he really needs to fuel his blank state.
Still, Isayama doesnât make him wander around aimlessly in the canon storyline and managed to give him a purpose. He strangely carries themes like the Chosen One because people, specifically Grisha imposed that on him. Carla called her son special for the sole reason he was born into this world, that every human who sees the light of the day is considered special.Â
Because he was frustrated about âHumanityâs submission against the titansâ, thatâs what prompted him to step out and defy the âimposed slaveryâ on him. He wasnât always like that, though. Meeting and knowing Armin triggered that complex about him lacking ambition.
Eren and Armin meeting for the first time - Ch. 83
When he first met Armin, he befriended him fairly quickly because of their status as outcasts. Eren already showed signs of not belonging to the other kids, probably because he had trouble sharing the same interests as them and also because he gets irritated quickly and gets into fights to shut them up. Funnily enough, those panels show the first signs of Erenâs prevalent traits: fighting back and beating them or else youâre a loser.
âI had never thought about what was beyond the walls until then⌠Iâd only spent my days looking at the clouds in the sky. Not that itâs anything strange for a kid eight or nine years old to not be thinking about anything⌠but then you came running to me with a book. Both of us were outcasts, not able to get along with the other kids in town. Thatâs all we were back then. But when I heard you telling me those things⌠and I saw the look in your eyes. Thatâs when I knew for the first time. I wasnât free. I noticed that I had been living in a birdcage for all this time. And that these freakish things had taken my freedom. The world was so big, but theyâd forced me into a tiny cage. And when I realized that⌠I knew I could never forgive them.â - Ch.73
It wasnât so much about the ocean or the contents of the outside world Eren was motivated for. Because he was aimlessly starting at the sky, he couldnât believe someone like Armin could conceive something like⌠ambition. Thatâs why Eren was intrigued by the look in his eyes. And because the titans were actually obstacles to his personal space, he held a grudge against them. They were in the way, they were giant-sized bullies, they have to be removed.
Erenâs character song actually fist up nicely with his character: âçˇăŻăăăłă ăďźăăă ĺăŁâ by Shinsei Kamattechan (lyrics and translation here) illustrates somebody talking to a certain Takeda, who prompts him to disobey his parents and do whatever they want because theyâre free, despite them being children (the song talks about spending money carelessly and buying cigarettes). Eren being either one of the kids, wants his taste of freedom without having any authority telling him not to do it.
âFrom the day weâre born, there was something special about all of us: weâre freeâ - Ch. 73
Needless to say, I think that attitude and that grudge against the titans pushed him to idolize the Survey Corps and eventually join them. Because they went as far as destroying his district, making him swear extermination on every person responsible.
Then there was his meeting with Mikasa.
âYou see Eren, that attitude is why you only have one friend.â - Ch. 5
Here we have yet Erenâs ânormieâ attitude demonstrated when it comes to Grisha asking him to get familiar with Mikasa. But then, he certainly wansât expecting corpses.
Eren ready to begin the chase - Ch. 5
I tend to see this chapter as Eren being triggered by seeing dead bodies on the floor. Him seeing Mikasaâs parents being brutally murdered tingled his sense of justice and frustration:Â âHow dare they kill people? This if worthy of the death penalty and Iâm going to inflict that to them!â. The way he got close to these bandits is almost as scary as what they were planning to do with Mikasa: heâs approaching the first one by acting like an innocent child with clear murder intent (Heâs supposed to be 9!!!). He then proceeds to pin down the second one before repeatedly stabbing himself over and over.
âI stopped dangerous beasts!! They only happened to resemble humans!! If you hadnât come here, they would have been gone by the time the military police brigade had arrived!! The MPs wouldnât have made it in time!!â - Ch. 5
Notice how the justification he brings to kill them is because they reduced themselves to low beasts who kill people, and as beasts, itâs âonly naturalâ they deserve a death penalty. Besides, Eren is motivating Mikasa using the same logic he used for Armin: fight or youâre a complete loser.
Eren âteachingâ Mikasa - Ch. 5
Needless to say that Eren wasnât opposed to let Mikasa live in his house. He came to realize years later his attitude towards the bandits was pure impulse, as he gets lectured by Reiner about the meaning of being a soldier in chapter 17.
In the very first chapter of the series, every trait Iâve mentioned till there transpires into his motivation into joining the Survey Corps, so he wouldnât live as a âcaged animalâ any longer. He gets upset when people are talking trash about them because he truly believed they were doing it for great justice. And that day, when the wall has been breached, it just so happens that Eren had a weird dream when he was crying and it was finally the day where Grisha showed him the basement. That day truly changed his life, for the best or the worst.
âI hate the idea of spending my whole life⌠inside the wall, ignorant of whatâs happening in the world outside!!â - Ch. 1
But of course, this âoutsideâ serves mostly as an excuse to give him more space. As he declared later: âTheyâre our lives! we can do whatever we want with them, right?â
When Shiganshina fell, Eren made his vow to kill every single titan left. During that time, he punched Hannes for preventing him from saving his mom. What was interesting is that piece of flashback before scrolling back to present.
âIâll never be able⌠to go home again. Up to the end, all I could do was argue and be stubborn! Momâs gone!! Iâm never gonna see her again⌠Why is this happening to us? Is it because humans are weak? Is crying the only thing the weak can do?! Iâm gonna destroy them!! Every last one⌠of those animals⌠thatâs on this Earth!â - Ch. 2
The night when Shiganshina has fallen was the night where Grisha passed his titan power to Eren. The part where Grisha stated two contradictory statements in relation with chapter 89.
âEren, get revenge for your mother. You can do it.â - Ch. 71
âEren⌠never let this key⌠out of your sight. And everytime you look at it⌠remember⌠that you have to go to the basement room. The injection will cause damage to your memory⌠Thatâs why I canât explain this to you now⌠but when you go to the basement room someday, youâll learn the truth⌠it will be a hard and merciless road⌠but you have to recapture Wall Maria and get to that room. The power Iâm giving you will be useful then. Their memories will teach you how to use it⌠if you want to save Mikasa⌠Armin⌠and everyone else⌠youâll have to⌠control this power!â - Ch. 10
âDad⌠Stop it! Dad! What are you doing?! Youâve been acting crazy since mom died!!â, âEren!! Hold out your arm!â - Ch. 3
âYou will be the one⌠to avenge your mother!!â, âOkayâ - Ch. 63
This moment was really hard to piece out together because what was thought as a contradiction became a succession of events where Grisha scared his son with the shifter power talk, but riled back him for a short while by settling him as one one who will avenge his mom. Earlier, Grisha made his mind and picked him as the legitimate successor of the Attack Titan. Thanks to chapter 89, it may have been inevitable. In this scene, he went from a sorrowful expression to an angry one, almost swapping memories for a brief instant like what happened with Kruger. In any case he burdened Eren with his shifter power and the Coordinate, thus making him bare probably the biggest sin going by Ymirâs curse.Â
Because of that, his whole life changed. So did Eldiansâ.
The next segment is about Eren joining the military, two years after working in a settlement. This is the time where his attitude sort of... changed.
Eren trying to let his will of dominance pushing him forward - Ch. 15
Chronologically, starting from that point, Eren uses âweâ when talking about Humanity. Mostly because, as stated by his dialogue in chapter, he believes in unity against a common enemy. He settled the titans as the enemy âhumanityâ was supposed to defeat, despite him quickly meeting, and clashing with people who didnât agree with that notion: it started with Hannes not taking his job seriously, then Jean who outright admitted heâd rather live a comfy life inside the walls. Even much later in chapter 72, when Eren mentions that spirit of unity, Armin internally disagrees by thinking about his bullies.Â
Erenâs world was mostly an ideal one, where you loop the first opening of the anime and have humanity fighting against the titans, forgetting not every single human is motivated by rage: Mikasa is fine with living with Eren in a quaint place, Levi âthe heroâ is mostly motivated by Erwin, Jean wanted and comfy life among the MP, people have a very negative opinion of the SC in general, Ymir doesnât mind living her life for herself despite knowing much more about whatâs happening than Eren does...
His biggest obstacle was the first step for 3DMG training, where Keith sabotaged the equipment on purpose. For the first time, Eren felt like his goal just evaporated in the air, with everybody mocking him for it, followed by an argument with Mikasa, whoâs trying to dissuade him:
âYou shouldnât set your sights on that anyway. If youâre not cut for it, what can you do? Because at this rate, youâre just going to die in vain. And all your dreams and efforts will be for nothing. Iâm saying you shouldnât aim to be a soldier. You can always support the human race by being a producer. Laying down your life isnât the only way to fight. [...] ...Your resolve has nothing to do with it. Itâs not your decision whether you get to be a soldier, Eren...â - Ch. 16
Eventually, nothing worked. Eren still wants to pass the 3DMG exam. While talking to Reiner and Bertolt, he declares his will to kill the titans is a need he personally feels: becoming a soldier is a way to achieve this. Iâm sure heâd find another way out if he canât pass the exams, mostly because he has nothing left to make him move.
Parts of his personality have been shaped later by Reiner and Annie: Reiner about the solider mumbo-jumbo, Annie because of her techniques aiming to defeat people quickly. He demonstrated these two aspects during his fight with Jean (with Annie and Reiner even looking!).Â
â...I see... he was... just venting his feelings. Like I did before... but Iâm different now... Iâm... a soldier! [...] Iâll use my skills to finish this.â - Ch. 17
The most important part of his training is reserved for hand-to-hand techniques, skills proving themselves to be really useful once Eren shifts to a titan. Seems Annie was really insistent on teaching Eren these techniques as soon as he reminded her of her father, because Erenâs reality was just as misplaced as his. You can see that insistence if you connect chapter 17 and chapter 44 together.
I think Iâd rather break this analysis into several parts because itâs getting way too long. Eren faced different trials in Trost, during the FT arc and so on, where he had to deal with huge losses, traitors, the hard truth and eventually, the coordinate settling in.
#eren yeager#snk meta#snk analysis#snk#attack on titan#ackerate answers#anon#eren#tl;dr it can't give a concrete answer if the story isn't finished yet#plus fishing eren from A to Z is tedious work#that requires me to read the whole manga again#meta#analysis
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In Conversation With: Marcos Chin, Illustrator
NERD Productions illustrator on working with HBO on the 'Art the Throne' experience and changing perceptions with his art. With an impressive client list featuring the likes of Google, Starbucks, Target, Michael Kors and HBO to name a few, illustrator Marcos Chin is truly a creative chameleon; his work is as varied as it is beautiful.
The NERD Productions illustrator's work has appeared on high profile surface and wall designs, covers of bestselling books, CDs, advertising campaigns, fashion catalogues and magazines.
Here, Marcos discusses his influences, working with HBO on the 'Art the Throne' GoT experience, and changing perceptions with his art.Q> Youâve got quite an eclectic background! Please tell us about yourself and how you originally got into illustration and design?
Marcos Chin> Mine is an immigrant story. I was born in Mozambique, Africa but my parents, siblings and extended family left in the mid 1970s because of civil war. We eventually moved to Toronto, Canada after spending some time in Portugal, and it was in Toronto where I spent most of my life. I come from a working class family, my father was a janitor and worked in factories, and my mother did data entry for a company for decades. I don't come from an artistic family but I have always loved to draw. I decided to go to art college and somehow ended up choosing to pursue illustration formally when I stumbled upon the work of Illustration students whose work was displayed in the hallways. Illustration at that time was the closest thing that aligned with my love of drawing. Although I did have a short stint studying fine art for one year in University, illustration allowed me a platform to tell stories through pictures. Shortly after graduating from art college I was commissioned to work on a project for an online dating company called Lavalife. It was this project that set the trajectory for the beginning part of my career; because of its huge media buy, my work was seen by a large audience and I believe this gave me credibility as a young artist in the eyes of clients, art directors and designers - those individuals who had the power to hire me for work.
Q> You have a varied CV covering everything from high profile surface and wall designs, covers of bestselling books, CDs, advertising campaigns, fashion catalogues and magazines. Do you have a preference of projects you like to work on?
MC> I really don't have a preference on the kind of projects I work on - each one is very different. However, I have grown less fond of working on projects that are didactic or have a straight forward narrative about it. I like ones where I collaborate more deeply with the art director or designers who have a vision, and whose application (for the project) is something beyond a conventional print application.
Q> Youâve just had your first colouring book 'Mermaids in Wonderland' published by Harper Collins. How did this project come about?
MC> Actually, this is my second colouring book in a series of three. How it came about was that I already had a book idea that I had been pitching to publishers. I sent my book dummy to an acquaintance of mine, who is a designer. He put me in touch with some publishers, one of whom was (and is) an editor at HarperCollins. Although she was not interested in my book proposal, she did want to collaborate in some capacity. After our meeting, we didn't speak for about a year, and then one day I received an email from her asking if I was interested in creating a series of colouring books.
Q> Who and what are your influences?
MC> This is a tricky question to answer because my influences have changed so much over the years and continue to change. I can say that growing up I was very interested in comics, cartoons, anime and manga, and I feel these particular art forms have found their way into my work. Also, I have been very interested in fashion since I was a little boy, and this love of mine has continued into and throughout my adulthood. Although my workâs content is not heavily rooted in fashion, I draw from it very often, and use it inspire and inform the spirit of my pieces.
Q> Tell us how you landed Game of Thrones 'Art the Throne', are you a GOT fan?
MC> It's not a very romantic story. This project literally fell into my lap. It was initially commissioned to my friend but she isn't a fan of the show. Knowing that I am, she referred the project to me.
Q> Some of your illustrations focus strongly on identity and equality. Is it important for you create passion projects such as these?
MC> It is. I think especially in the social and political climate we're living in now, being able to reflect the world around me in a way that I believe is more inclusive and empathetic is incredibly important. Growing up I rarely saw myself reflected in the media, and when I did see someone who was Asian they were usually a side character, or a parody of what the media thought Asian people were like; we were unattractive, funny, and couldnât speak English. Asian women were fetishised, and Asian men were emasculated. As I got older, my sexuality became revealed and began to exist on the forefront of my life. As a gay man, I remember what it was like growing up in a closeted space; at that time, the media supported the shame that I felt about my queerness and my body by describing gay characters on TV or in film in a negative way by calling us sissies, faggots, carriers of disease, less-than and the other.
At some point, I decided to begin to introduce characters and content into my work that reflected the world I lived in, as well as the people with whom I chose to surround myself. Sometimes these images were of individuals socialising or shopping; mundane superficial stuff, but to me the decision to colour the skin of my protagonist brown instead of white, or to make two characters kissing in an illustration of two women as opposed to a woman and a man, became an act of subversion. My work is not obviously political but as someone who has a commercial platform on which to display his pictures, my drive is to help make visible those parts of me that were forced to become invisible for so long. In Chimamanda Ngozi Adichieâs book, 'We Should All Be Feminists,' she says, âIf we do something over and over, it becomes normal. If we see the same thing over and over, it becomes normal.â
Q> Tell us about your relationship with NERD Productions and how your business relationship came about?
MC> Milana Karaica [Executive Producer at NERD] came across one of my illustrations that I did for MTA Arts and Design; a piece that celebrated the centennial year of Grand Central Terminal in New York as well as fashion. Iâm happy it was this piece that she connected with because I think it describes the spirit of my work in a genuine way. My pictures tell stories or communicate messages and ideas, but I try to do it in a way that feels surprising to the viewer, so that itâs not perceived as being too linear or didactic. In this piece, I transformed some of the beautiful architectural details of the terminal into fashion pieces that are worn by passersby and turned the station into a runway. When Milana and I spoke for the first time, I hadnât had an agent for over a year (although I have had several for most of my career). My decision to go solo was due mostly to my desire to expand the kind of work I wanted to do, and to have my agent act as an equal collaborator as opposed to having my work merely sit on their online shelf collecting dust. As an illustrator whose work has been rooted mostly in print and editorial, I wanted to collaborate with creative individuals who worked primarily in creative (visual or non-visual) fields outside of my own, and to work with them in a way where we could build projects together that would transcend traditional print (i.e. animations and videos, installations, etc.). I knew from looking at the work that Milana had already done, and the way in which she spoke about NERDâs intention/mission that she was someone who had foresight, and could fulfil that role. NERDâs ability to embrace and organise collaborations amongst individuals working in various disciplines is something that deeply appeals to me.
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My Top 10 Favorite Waifus In Anime https://animeride.com/lists/6590/my-top-10-favorite-waifus-in-anime/ #AquaAndKazuma, #BallroomEYoukosho, #ErinaNakiri, #HajimeteNoGirl, #LucyHeartfilia, #Mila, #Noragami, #OnePiece, #Reiju, #UtahaKasumigaoka, #YumekoJabami
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My Top 10 Favorite Waifus In Anime
Hi everyone. This is my personal list of favorite waifus. I love these 10 women most of all. Most of them are very new to our viewers. Plese comment your top 10 Waifus in Comments.
10 ) Miia
Anime : Monster MusumeÂ
Coming at my list at number 10 is the lovable Miia, I remember the first time I started Monster Musume. I did not expect much, but I was intrigued from the get go with how forward Miia was. She was always so care free, and never seemed shy whenever she can do things with her caretaker. Being a monster girl you couldnât really imagine a human wanting to be with her romantically, but their are just some assets you canât ignore in some cases. If Monster Musume wasnât a harem, I would want Mia to be the one our MC falls in love with. Sadly we can only be teased since most harems never progress into anything special. Last but not least that tail is beautiful! One day I hope we get a season two, but as of now I guess I can only enjoy seeing Miia in manga form.
9 ) Lucy Heartfilia
Anime : FairytailÂ
One of the most talked about characters in Fairly Tail till this very day. I canât fathom how anyone could possibly dislike Lucy, from her personality, appearance, and friendships she has build as a member of fairy tail as time progressed. I always loved her friendly side, even if her back story was kinda generic living as a rich girl throughout her years, to put her life on the line takes guts. I know I wasnât the only one to ship her with Natsu from day one, you can automatically feel the spark between them, its just Masahiro constantly had to tease us into thinking that NaLu would be a reality. One kiss between them would have been enough for me to ask for, but I guess it wasnât meant to be. In my opinion it seemed like every season Lucyâs beauty kept on getting growing! Lucy come to the real world. â-â)
8 ) Â Aqua
Anime :Â Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku wo!Â
Without certain one of my favorite female characters in anime, Aqua is truly in her own league among st the rest. From her childish nature, to always somehow getting her party members in danger, I love everything that makes her shine. Their were times in which Aqua has shown to be useful in certain situations, sadly it would get overlooked since it would result in more bad outcomes than good almost all the time. Throughout the hardships she always seem to be happy most the time, I doubt at this point she really wants to go back to deciding peopleâs choice after death all alone. The world of adventure is the perfect fit for here, also her revival spell is lit, I wish I could use that in the real world. Kazuma should not be afraid to die now, knowing that he will just be revived by this valuable water goddess waifu!
7 ) Reiju
Anime : One PieceÂ
Vinsmoke Reiju, also known as âPoison Pinkâ, is the eldest child and only daughter of the Vinsmoke Family, making herSanjiâs elder sister. She is also the princess of the Germa Kingdom and a commander in its military arm, Germa 66.
Reiju is a slim young woman with shoulder-length light pink hair (darker pink in the anime), covering her right eye and curling upwards at the tips. She also has purple eyes (blue in the anime), and occasionally wears light pink lipstick. Like all the Vinsmoke siblings, she has distinctive curly eyebrows that form a spiral resembling the number â6â. However, unlike her brothers Sanjiand Yonji, her eyebrows appear to swirl symmetrically in opposing directions.[6] Both of her thighs are tattooed with a number â6â
 6 )  Bishamon
Anime : Noragami
Where could you go wrong with a woman like this. As they say the mature ones or sometimes the best compared to the rest! Bishamonâs courageous actions really caught my eye, taking on all those regalia as her own must have been painful. Still she overcame that pain because of how much she cared for all of their lives. If Hiyori never existed I would ship her with Yato mainly due to their complicated relationship. Like Bishamon hates him, but still shows signs that she cares about him in more ways than just a regular friend. Havenât caught up too the manga, but with my chance to see both seasons I have come to understand their relationship better. I hope one day they could even start a family together, but I may be stretching it a bit. Also Bishamon is really strong to the point where I would be afraid to confront her one on one. She seems clueless in love, so sheâs an easy prey for me to snatch up for myself. Wouldnât want to get on her bad side.
5 ) Yukana
Anime : Hajimete no GirlÂ
Best girl for summer anime of 2017! I canât cherish how much I enjoyed her character. To the eyes of many I bet most people views her as a slut who is just looking for casual hookups. Well you were completely wrong for those that assumed that, Yukana is a pure hearted girl who just wants to fall in love, and enjoy her life to the fullest. Her teasing never got old, and I couldnât wait to see more of her after the episode finished. Safe to say I only
watched Hajimete no Gal due to her alone. Iâm glad we got to see a different side to her towards the end of the anime. Her crying over a possible break up truly emphasizes the love she held for Junichi is in fact real. Bases on the ending of the anime it looks like Iâll have to read the manga as of now for more Yukana!
4 ) Shizuku
Anime : Ballroom e Youkosho
Shizuku Hanaoka  is a first year student in Highschool and an amateur dancer at Ogasawara Dance Studio. She is so damm sexy. As a dancer she has great physique. Also here curves and long graceful neck.
Shizuku is perfect waifu material for me. She is understanding and a well versed dancer. Her chemistry with Kyoharu is so great and i just love her decency .
3) Erina Nakiri
Anime : Food WarsÂ
The ultimate female chef is hard to not love! Erina is a child on the outside, but in the inside she is talented unlike no other. Her cooking skills have me locked on figuring out what makes her have such a Queen aura surrounding her. I have a sense that almost everyone except for Soma, and some others arenât afraid to challenge her to a shokugeki match. I have shipped Erina with Souma till this very day, sadly though since this series is a shounen it wonât ever happen. One can dream, but my hopes arenât too high. Wouldnât hurt to make Erina be more cutesy around Souma. Funny how his dad is the one she has always looked up to at this very point. Havenât read the manga in a while since season 3 is almost here!! So pumped to see Erina again in Food Wars, shoot more foodgasms for the win!
2 )Â Yumeko Jabami
Anime : KakeguruiÂ
Attractive, smooth as silk, and silver-tongued, Yumeko is a natural-born gambler. Gathering the attention of her peers and the entire student council, thereâs no denying she enjoys the attention she receives. Despite all odds in a gambling match, she somehow manages to turn the tables in the most daring ways, often times using her perceptiveness to decipher her opponentâs tricks.
Yumeko has pale skin, long black hair styled with a hime-cut and brown colored eyes. Her eyes are sometimes seen turning red in the anime and manga when she becomes excited. She wears the Hyakkaou Private Academy issued uniform; a red blazer with black trim lining the cuffs and collar, a white button up dress shirt, a dark pleated skirt, a tie and black/grey colored stockings. As well as the academyâs issued footwear, brown colored loafers with black soles. She also sports red lipstick and has red painted fingernails (sometimes seen pink). She wears a ring around her left thumb.
1 ) Utaha KasumigaokaÂ
Anime : Saenai Heroine no SodatekataÂ
Last but not least we have Utaha as my number one! This on my part was difficult to decide between her, and Darkness. But with the conclusion of season 2 for both parties my choice became easy after what Utaha pulled off on the low. With the use of this anime making fun of harem animeâs while being one as well suited Utaha perfectly. From being one of the most popular girls, and falling in love with an otaku named Tomoya. Love can appear out of no where sometimes, they may not have been childhood friends. I ship both of them compared to the other girls solely due to Utahaâs donât give a dam actions. From sleeping with him in a hotel, to her womanly assets almost being exposed, no event is ever detrimental to her end goal. I could be wrong, but her end goal is basically to write her stories to appeal to Tomoyaâs desires. Season two left a lot for me to remember on why I made the right choice in Utaha being my personal number one favorite. Morning Utaha, time to expose Tomoya so he can be your slave now with that lewd evidence!
 So whoâs your favorite anime waifu ? Comment your favorite Anime waifu in the comments !Â
#Aqua and Kazuma#Ballroom e Youkosho#Erina Nakiri#Hajimete no Girl#Lucy Heartfilia#Mila#Noragami#One Piece#Reiju#Utaha Kasumigaoka#Yumeko Jabami
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