#also how the fuck does one figure out what’s filed under sci fi and what’s filed under fiction????

[bowtiepastabitch]

Biting off a bit more than I can chew today. I doubt I’ll be able to read them all, but checking them out is good for the library and it’s good for me. Plus I’m being optimistic, maybe something here can fix the burnout. (Neil Gaiman please save me) If not, I shall simply absorb the book magic via the osmosis of keeping them on my bedside table for the next two weeks. Library books are cool like that.

[stargazetheseries]

OPEN CASTING CALL FOR STARGAZE: “THE PILOT” EPISODE & TRAILER VISIT: https://stargazetheseries.com/casting-call/ FOR DETAILS OR READ BELOW: A Borken Creative Production Sept 27, 2021 STARGAZE is a queer campy sci-fi adventure short-form adventure series intended for OTT. Executive Producers: Jill Golick, Carrie Cutforth Director: Regan Latimer Writer: Carrie Cutforth Union: ACTRA TORONTO (NEW MEDIA) Shoot: The pilot will begin shooting for 5 to 6 days between October 25-Nov 17th, 2021 Location: Toronto STORYLINE: A disparate group of rookie oddballs join an elite squad commissioned to save the Queerverse (from itself) only to discover the STARGAZE program is a sham make-work initiative to keep the crew from rocking the boat by sending them out on a fool’s quest (led by two elder queer chaperones who despise each other). Think: A 2SLGBTQIA+ The Facts Of Life meets The Breakfast Club in space! *BIPOC STRONGLY ENCOURAGED TO APPLY **MUST BE 18+ TO SUBMIT EVEN IF CHARACTER IS LISTED AS YOUNGER THE STARTGAZE RECRUITS: SAF RON (she/her): Character is 20, cisgender woman, lesbian, open to all ethnicities; some physical comedy required. LEAD. Mad as hell and not going to take it anymore, Saf joins STARGAZE with high expectations. If the adults won’t save the day, she will… and finally get the credit she deserves! But can this lone wolf learn to connect with others, stop being a control freak, relax her unreasonably high expectations of others (and herself), and step into the leadership role for which she is destined? First, she’ll have to stop seeing anyone getting in her way as a mustache-twirling villain, learn to see her crewmates’ value, accept help, and open herself up vulnerably. Gets apoplectic when mad; Has a knack for creating very convoluted protest chants that no one can follow. WHIT SPRINKLES (he/him): Character is 19, cisgender man, gay, open to all ethnicities. Must be able to walk elegantly in high heels. LEAD. A social media influencer famous for his snarky and bitter ’reads,’ charismatic Whit has developed a parasocial relationship with his stans. Living life performing in the spotlight from a very young age, Whit has no idea who he really is, what his real interests are, or his beliefs outside of what his analytics tell him: “My fans are gonna love this!” Only joining STARGAZE under pressure from his stans, his inability to forge true intimate connections is exacerbated by his relationship with his mother/manager Mumsy Sprinkles, a talentless hack/narcissistic stage mother living her dreams through her kid. If Whit was a meme he would be: ‘Bitch, I dun give a fuck!’ But he does, indeed, give a fuck. ESSA T. HATCH (they/them): Character is 18, non-binary or agender, asexual, demiromantic, neurodivergent, open to all ethnicities. LEAD. Adorkable Essa is an introvert who doesn’t really ‘get’ people. The explorer among the crew with an engineering mind and a love of mapping places and spaces, they know every nook and cranny of the ship and are usually the first to forge ahead (i.e. wander off) on every expedition. Essa mostly wants to be left alone to their own devices because they actually prefer their own company (neurotypicals can be so exhausting!). This normally wouldn’t be such a problem except Essa was pressured to join STARGAZE to make friends and widen their social net out of parental concern (‘We won’t be around forever, Essa!’). Loves to knit, make Venn diagrams of relationships; speaks in emojis when emotionally drained. LEW D’SHUS (he/him): Character is 21, transgender man or transmasculine, pansexual, open to all ethnicities. LEAD. When babelicious Lew looks at you with his rapt attention and dreamy eyes, you feel like the only person in the ‘verse until his short attention span snaps away and he forgets you’re there. “Good vibes, only!” Lew will gladly give you your Tarot card reading, but not before taking the negative cards out first. With his strict ‘the universe is love, we are love,’ mantra, Lew never wants anyone to feel bad even when they are deadass wrong! His philosophy of

appeasement can cause conflict amongst the crew and his inability to take sides in crucial moments will often put them in danger. No, we cannot just hug everything out, Lew! CHRYSTRAH SNU (she/her): Character is 17 (must be 18+ to apply), cis-gender woman, identifies as ‘queer’ but just figuring it all out. LEAD. Chrystrah is a fresh-off-the-belt queer who has arrived with big expectations: ‘I’m here, I’m queer! Direct me to my spot on the rainbow carpet!’ The trauma of her homophobic upbringing has left Chrystrah without any real sense of self; her identity loosely held together like a fragile cracked egg. Any criticism, no matter how gentle, feels like an attack, causing Chrystrah to act abrasive, territorial, and defensive. She is always overcompensating in big bombastic ways because she feels so inadequate for not knowing the right words, behaviours, and codes. She is jealous of Saf (some might say obsessed) who does seem to get it all right. Fiercely loyal, Chrystrah is the first to run headlong into danger to save someone. She has a steep learning curve ahead. THE ELDER QUEER CHAPERONES: BAE TORGA (she/her): Character is late 30’s-early 40’s, cisgender woman, bisexual, bipolar, open to all ethnicities. PRINCIPAL. A war hero (or war criminal depending on who you ask), Bae sees STARGAZE as an opportunity to redeem herself in the eyes of former mentor and friend Oracle Cain. She is someone who struggles with self-loathing and self-doubt even though she’s spent her adulthood righting her past wrongs and reining in her bipolar disorder, which contributed to her past rash and reckless mistakes. Possessing a tough, gruff demeanor, Bae is outwardly sardonic but really a bleeding heart who holds back out of fear that any demonstration of affection and empathy will be seen as a commitment. ORACLE CAIN (she/her): Character is middle-aged or older, transgender woman, ambulatory wheelchair user or wheelchair user, open to all ethnicities. *Note, as this is sci-fi, younger than middle age may apply. PRINCIPAL. A founding figure of the Queerverse, Oracle has done her service, done her duty, and now she’s done. She wants a peaceful existence to guard her limited energy and manage her physical pain. Instead, she’s pulled out of retirement to command a ship full of bickering youths. She also has to contend with spoiled brat and former colleague Bae reminding her of the past that Oracle is trying hard to forget. But duty is duty and it’s not like complaining ever got her anywhere. Talking to Oracle can feel like playing a chess game where the aloof commander is always five steps ahead: you never quite know where you stand with her. ADDITIONAL CHARACTERS ELP WHIPP (they/them or xe/xem): Character is middle-aged or older, gender-fluid, open to all ethnicities. Leader of the coalition of non-profit planets (each with its own conflicting Gay Agenda) that rule the Queerverse, Elp Whipp is a career bureaucrat/bean-counter who often gets caught in the trappings of their own political web — meaning much of nothing ever gets accomplished and progress is never made. Elp will appear throughout the series in that ‘Dean of the school’ role, occasionally showing up to demand overdue reports, warn the crew that their funding is at risk, and generally throw a wrench in the works. CARDIGAN JACK (she/her): Character is 30s, cis-woman, lesbian, open to all ethnicities. Cardigan Jack is a ‘pussy-hat’ wearing neo-liberalist feminist with a pirate vibe. She is the ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ of TERFs, and Saf Ron’s nemesis. TO SUBMIT: Borken Creative is committed to diverse and inclusive casting. For every role, please submit qualified performers without regard to disability, race, age, colour, sexual orientation or gender identity, or any other basis prohibited by law, unless otherwise specifically indicated, subject to legitimate casting directives. DEADLINE: Oct 8, 2021 EMAIL: casting@stargazetheseries.com. SUBJECT LINE: Character(s) Role, Performer’s First and Last Name, pronouns. BODY OF EMAIL: Please provide contact info including phone number.

Please confirm you are 18 or over in the body of email if applying for a Stargaze recruit character. Submit headshot and resume as attachments to casting@stargazetheseries.com. Resume should be in a scannable text file format (such as .doc, .pdf, .txt). First round selects will be invited to submit either a video clip audition or zoom audition invite. Only successful candidates will be contacted.

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[tjlikesprettythings]

Guys it’s only been a few days since my macriley obsession started and I already decided to write a bunch of stuff floating around in my head...I’m ruined! I’m not part of AO3 yet so thought I’d just share my craziness here! Enjoy the madness or ask me to stop. 

________________ Desi starts noticing things slowly, she always knew that they were close. Riley was kind of like Jack’s replacement in Mac’s life she deduced in the beginning. She liked Riley, she was smart, could fend for self, and honestly felt she had nothing to worry about because she seemed highly principled, hell she went to jail trying to change the world. But as time passed, she started to see just how Mac looked at the other woman.

It was how his eyes would find her in any situation, look for her approval. She didn’t believe in jealousy, it was such a useless feeling, but she couldn’t help but think about these small encounters that she noticed. So, of course, the voice in her mind started to question if there was more to this, did she need to worry? She decided it was her trying to come up with excuses to run because she had done this before. 

But she couldn’t deny the fact that during their double date, there was a look on his face as he watched Riley and Aubrey. She also recalled him muttering “what kind of name is Aubrey anyway?” under his breath when they had finally spoken about Riley’s new live-in boyfriend. She chalked it up to him being a protective older brother. Riley, Bozer, Matty, and Jack were his family, she understood this much. 

It would build up slowly like after Riley moved in and she would come over after her day was done to find them laughing casually to some sci-fi movie that they had watched, or it would be the two of them shouting at each other playfully while playing video games or that they would be attempting to cook dinner together, each with a task and laughing when the other failed miserably. An easy banter that flowed so naturally. Riley always seemed open with her, smiled and welcomed her, gave them space. But it was the time they spent all together that gave away to the fact that she was the third wheel to Mac and Riley set not the other way round. 

As they ate take out, Mac spoke about everything and Riley seemed to keep up. She didn’t look bored, if anything she hung on his every word and would challenge him or bring him back to earth when he veered from laymen with a wise crack and a roll of her eyes.

“How many times do you think you watched Die Hard with Jack?” Mac asked eyes trained on Riley.

“Son, when I was a kid or now?” Riley laughed, “I definitely got you beat in that department, I’m sure.”

“There’s no way! I will bet you...something when I think of it.” He laughed harder.

“Deal! I need another Mac gadget. That wifi signal booster you built me came in handy.” She said taking a swig of her beer.

Desi watched almost enchanted, she hadn’t seen this Mac in a while. The silly beautiful blonde genius that she fell for. It wasn’t easy for them like it was for him and Riley she realized and it tightened her throat a little. He’s never made her anything, has he? She later rationalized that it made sense that they would be comfortable with each other, they’d had more time to adjust. Yea, that’s what it was.

Even when Riley ran away to join him at Codex, she said to herself that it was because they were friends and if she were honest she was glad that Riley did so he wouldn’t be alone, that she had his back. Why couldn’t Desi have his back? Why couldn’t she see the bigger picture and trust Mac? But all that did was proved her point more. Mac and Riley were a package deal. Could she have a relationship with a man that had another woman he was in a co-dependent relationship with? Could she be with a man that she didn’t fully trust? But she did trust him, didn’t she?

Until that moment with Codex, she thought it was all one-sided attachment from Mac but when she looked at Riley’s eyes when they thought it was Mac who blew up, she recognized the look of devastating loss. Well fuck, Riley Davis had feelings for her boyfriend. She chose to file it away for another time when she had time.

The next few days just drove the matter home to death really. Mac had asked for some time to be alone, he had just lost his only remaining family, but the person who he didn’t ask space from was Riley. Of course, her living in the house made the situation complicated. But she knew in her gut that the person who he needed was Riley to get over this. If there was anyone that could ground him it was Riley.

So when they were in congress fighting for his mother and aunt’s vision, she made a point of telling him she knew him too. He did smile at her then but it didn’t look as brilliant as when he would later smile at Riley who sat proudly as he spoke his argument towards the climate issue and the new green deal. What’s one more lie that’s what she told herself anyway. 

She couldn’t be mad at Riley, she really couldn’t. Riley did her best to steer the respectful road, she no longer sat close to Mac, she kept her distance and even told Mac she would be moving out soon, that she had found an apartment that would be available in a week’s time. That night Mac was in a terrible mood to the point that she decided to go back to her place. She felt sorry for all of them really. She just had to prep herself for what she knew had to be done, but there was a part of her that continued to rationalize all these events. 

Everything really came crashing down when they were on a mission and he had to choose between her and Riley. She’ll give him some credit that she thought he did hesitate for a millisecond but ultimately he went after Riley. She almost laughed at the irony of the situation. Fuck what a spectacularly horrible feeling she felt spread across her body at that moment and it had nothing to do with her pending death. 

Russ was able to save her, and Mac saved Riley. She watched as he held the smaller woman close to his side checking her over, concern, and devastation was written all of his faces. He hadn’t glanced over to her yet. The funny thing is, it could’ve been seconds but when you’re the one feeling like a fool it sure feels a lot longer. She felt the familiar anger come alight. 

When they finally got back home and did their debriefs and written their reports, she decided to go over to his place. Riley was in the hospital for observation. It was no surprise that Mac was only home for a quick shower before he’d be back in the hospital. 

“This isn’t working.” She said flatly crossing her arm across her chest, needing the protection. He just sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, so he wasn’t going to fight her on this. 

“No, it’s not. I wanted it to, believe me when I say that. I thought our own thing could be enough. But I think we both deserve better, you especially deserve someone better.” He said sincerely. 

“You’re right I do deserve better, I deserve someone who can trust me fully, I deserve someone who will fight for me the way you fight for her.” the words slip out before she has a chance to stop them. She’s not this person who fights over a man or belittles another woman, but the anger and hurt take center stage for a second and she loses control.

He looks confused for a second, then as if the realization of her words really hit him. “I’m sorry Desi.”

She chuckled, “We never stood a chance. You didn’t have room for me.” finally voicing what she’s known for a while now. “It’s always been her, hasn’t it?”

It’s as if he’s figuring all of this out for the first time, which just made it all the more shittier. How could she even be mad when they were so oblivious and respectful and willing to just bury it to keep each other in the status quo. “Fuck! Are you serious Mac?! Do you not realize that it’s Riley! That you’re in love with her?!” she runs a hand through her hair which slowly makes it’s way to her lips and she starts to laugh eve though her eyes sting as well.

“Desi…” Mac takes a step forward, but she steps away from him holding up a hand to stop him. Giving herself a second more she clears her throat, swiping away at the tears that spilled over. 

“I know,” she simply says. Because she does, he’d never hurt her intentionally but doesn’t mean this doesn’t hurt. “Mac, get your shit together or you’ll lose her. Tell her how you feel before she buries how she feels about you.” With that, she walks away from his place. He doesn’t try to stop her, and she’s glad that he doesn’t. 

Later when her heart cools and she has a chance, to be honest with herself. She actually is happy that Mac found someone who fit him in every way. She made a pact with herself to follow her gut next time. She tries to stay away from the hospital but decided she owes Riley at least the courtesy of a colleague. 

She’s not surprised to see Mac next to Riley’s bed holding her hand to his lips. She decides that maybe it’s best to just give them all the space. So when Russ looks at her in the lobby with understanding, she realizes that they were all just in a Shakespearean level tragic comedy. But hey that’s life, full of woderful moments and losses.

[365days365movies]

May 7, 2021: TRON (1982)

Starting to leave lo-fi sci-fi with this one.

Can I just say, I am VERY excited for this one. Mostly because it’s hard to get more ‘80s than this movie, specifically in terms of computers. I’ll explain. Y’know Jurassic Park? Yeah, the same movie I’ve brought up far, FAR too many times this month. Is...is that my favorite sci-fi movie? Shit, it might be? I’ve read the books, I’ve seen the movie COUNTLESS times...I’m pretty sure it is! Huh. Go figure. Anyway, where was I?

Oh, right! Remember the most irritating character in the movie? This is, in my opinion, older sister Lex Murphy. In the book, for the record, she’s a VERY different character. She’s the youngest sibling amongst the two, and she’s a sports nerd who hates dinosaurs. And she’s also the most annoying character in the book, so at least they kept that consistent. However, you may be saying to yourself: “Jesus, this dude really loves Jurassic Park. Even in the intro for Tron, he’s talking about it. Why the hell does he keep bringing it up?”

Well, allow me to explain. When I was 9 years old, I was super into two things: dinosaurs and reading. You may think that I wasn’t very popular in school as a result. And the truth won’t surprise you. Anyway, on January 3rd, 2001, it was a cold morning in the supermarket when

...OK, lemme get to the point. IT’S A UNIX SYSTEM!

See, this moment when Lex hacks into the computer to reactivate the locks (a task given to Tim in the book, but whatever) does two things. One, it makes Lex relevant in a film and story where she’s almost entirely unneeded. And two, it established something in the minds of movie-watchers everywhere: a completely misguided idea of what computer programming is.

And this is just one of MANY examples of Hollywood weirdly representing computers to the public. This was kind of a trend throughout the ‘80s and ‘90s, as computers were beginning to become available to the public. Examples are:

WarGames (1983), dir. John Badham

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), dir. James Cameron

Revenge of the Nerds (1984), dir. Jeff Kanew

Weird Science (1985), dir, John Hughes

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), dir. Russo Bros

That last one isn’t a great example, and it’s not even within the right time period. I just love Arnim Zola, and he NEEDS TO RETURN to the MCU. Goddamn it, I want this guy back, complete with his full robot body! COME ON FIEGE, LOOK AT THIS GUY! That last one may or may not be my fanart for the character with my own design NEVERTHEGODDAMNLESS!

Look, all you gotta do is connect the various machinations of Arnim Zola to the foundations of AIM, which is easy given their link in the comics. Zola and his fellow Paperclip scientists helped fund Aldrich Killian’s AIM, and the project to give Zola his sick-ass robot body eventually wound up being a part of the project that would create the hovering robotic chair used by this guy.

THIS IS ALL I’VE EVER WANTED PLEASE

...Ahem.

Anyway, the weird-ass ways that Hollywood’s represented computers, hacking, and all other associated things can be traced back to 1982, when the first film to use mostly computer generated imagery for its setting was created. This was, of course, Disney’s TRON. And while I haven’t seen it before...I’ve see its sequel in theaters?

On a related note, Tron Legacy might be a mediocre film with a mediocre soundtrack, but GODDAMN DO IT LOVE THE FUCKING VISUALS. It’s genuinely my favorite aesthetic. That whole “outlined in light” thing? Goooooooh, BABY, how I love it.

Style over substance, but OH THE FUCKING STYLE

Anyway, despite that, I’m looking forward to seeing where the whole thing came from. I dig that style, too. Is there a name for those aesthetics? Let me know, so I can devote my life to it forever. Anyway, shall we get started?

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

So, we start this movie off with a BANG, jumping into an arcade where two kids are playing none other than Lightcycle, and jumping into said Lightcycles to meet one of the drivers, Sark (David Warner). A sadistic program, he takes great pleasure in executing programs in Lightcycle races.

One of these programs, in fact, is being brought into imprisonment now, to be set against Sark in a race. The program, Crom (Peter Jurasik), speaks with fellow prisoner Ram (Dan Shor), where we get some idea of the lore of this place. Many programs believe in “the Users”, god-like figures who they believe created them and tell them what to do. However, the mysterious Master Control Program is rounding up the programs that believe in Users, taking over their functions or executing them. Diggin’ the lore so far.

In the real world, we meet Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges), a computer programmer commanding his own program, Clu (also Bridges), and...look, I’m not sure what they’re doing, but OHHH. IT’S A UNIX SYSTEM, BABY. The beautiful bullshit that this movie uses to denote computer activity and programming, it’s...MMMMMMMMMCHEF’SKISS, it’s so FUCKING GOOD!

Anyway, Clu’s apparently being sent to find some information, but he’s caught by Master Control. Jeff Bridges shows off some pretty over-the-top acting, but it’s charming as hell. Clu’s interrogated by Master Control Program (also Warner), and killed, or “derezzed”. This frustrates Flynn, but why?

Well, we get a clue from MCPs concentration with Ed Dillinger (David Warner), who arrives at his office in the COOLEST FUCKING HELICOPTER I HAVE EVER SEEN. I will never make enough money to have this helicopter, but maybe one day I can do it to a car, holy shit. Anyway, Dillinger lands and enters the ENCOM building, where he speaks with his computer table, which contains MCP.

Is this a thing with computer programmers? Do they, like, physically talk to their programs, and the programs talk back? Is this a thing that happens? Are the conversations interesting? Are IT people literally computer-whisperers? I gotta talk to my friends in computer sciences and IT about this.

Apparently, Flynn’s been snooping around their servers for a specific file, and they’re trying to stop him from getting that file. Meanwhile, in an office in the building, a man named Alan Bradley (Bruce Boxleitner) is blocked out of the system in an attempt to flush out Flynn’s location. Bradley’s summoned to the office for what seems like a routine interview, but is actually more of an investigation. Doesn’t go anywhere.

On a side note, by the way, it would appear that MCP is somewhat in control of Dillinger. Although, how and why is unknown. In any case, he’s attempting to amass power. Additionally, the fact that he’s directly speaking to one of the Users is...interesting. And on a second side note, Bradley is preparing something, a security program called “Tron”. That might come up later.

MEANWHILE, elsewhere in the building, a group of scientists are conducting an experiment to digitize solid matter and transport it into computers. It succeeds with an orange, much to their delight and celebration. One of these scientists is Lora Baines (Cindy Morgan), Flynn’s ex-girlfriend and Alan’s current girlfriend. They go to the arcade to reconvene with Flynn, much to Alan’s irritation.

Flynn not only owns the place, he’s also a game whiz, brilliant computer programmer, and recently fired ex-employee of ENCOM. He’s also been sneaking into the ENCOM system, and he details exactly why he’s moving against them. While working for ENCOM, he had started writing programs for some very complex video games, which could’ve have made him quite a bit of money. But Dillinger stole his files, and uses it to climb up the ranks to Senior Executive of ENCOM, while Flynn lounges in relative poverty. He’s planning on getting into the system to get evidence of Dillinger’s wrongdoing.

The trio plots to take down Dillinger and get the evidence together, breaking into ENCOM that night. Meanwhile, Dillinger’s meeting with Walter Gibbs (Barnard Hughes), a co-founder of the company, and one of the other scientists who made the digitizing machine. Dillinger says YOUR TIME IS OVER OLD MAN, and brushes off his concerns about he’s handing the company.

He’s not the only one with issues, as MCP decides to take over FOR Dillinger. Apparently, Dillinger’s talents are stealing data and creating Cybernet/HAL 9000. Good job, buddy. But that may end, when Alan goes to finish and install his program, Tron, which will hopefully take MCP down. Meanwhile, Lora and Flynn go to the basement with the digitizing machine. At the computer terminal, MCP decides to stop Flynn by...well, you know where this is headed.

Yup! Flynn’s brought into the computer by Lora’s machine, and is digitized and put into the game grid. And since we’ll be spending a lot of time there, I think I need to acknowledge something: I really love how this movie looks. The CGI is rudimentary, but it’s used surprisingly well. Consider that this is also made in an era where this is the kind of imagery that computers could literally generate at the time, and you’ve got a pretty great movie in-context.

Flynn, now in those spiffy program duds, is sent by the MCP to compete in the Game Grid, under Sark’s supervision and tutelage. He’s thrown into the brig with the other imprisoned programs, where he learns more about this world. Once brought into the throes of the Game Grid, he’s told that those who believe in the Users are to be trained poorly, ensuring their inevitable death. Meanwhile, those who renounce their belief will be spared. And of all the programs who still believe in the Users, there is none quite as powerful...as Tron (Bruce Boxleitner again).

We see Tron’s badass skills in Ultimate Frisbee. And OK, it’s not Ultimate Frisbee, but you throw discs that contain all of your essence and all of the things you’ve learned in your time there. You basically pour your entire essence and being into the disc as you throw it. So, really, it is Ultimate Frisbee, according to that one dude who’s REALLY into Ultimate Frisbee.

Flynn is commanded to play one of these games, and he winds fairly easily. However, when he defeats his opponent, he’s almost about to die. However, Flynn refuses to finish him off, leading Sark to do so instead. And Sark is tempted to kill Flynn as well, but he holds off at the last moment.

Flynn finally gets to meet Tron, where he feigns being a program that knows of his User, Alan. Of course, Tron looks exactly like Alan, which is why Flynn blurts out his name. But as they’re discussing this, Flynn, Tron, and fellow prisoner Ram are sent to compete in the Lightcycles. And, yes, I’m now looking for a game like this on my phone, because GODDAMN to I love Lightcycles. Can’t WAIT for the Disney World ride, oh my GOOOOD. 

So, our guys get in the Lightcycles, and they outmaneuver Sark’s guys. They’re actually able to escape the arena and the Game Grid, making it outside the citadel. They encounter a, uh, bitstream, and soak up some energy before moving on. On the way, though, they’re nearly killed by Sark’s guys in tanks, and Tron is separated from Flynn an the unconscious Ram.

Flynn and Ram finds a place to rest and hide, and Flynn discovers that, as a User, he actually has the ability to somewhat manipulate the reality within the computer, and he makes a version of MCPs ships, the Recognizers, which resemble the villains in Flynn’s game that Dillinger stole. Now realizing that Flynn is a user, Ram asks him to help Tron, before dying and disappearing into pure code. Whoof.

Tron, meanwhile, ends up finding an input/output program named Yori (Cindy Morgan), who helps him in his escape. She takes him through the city, where we see some interesting designs for control programs, almost like a Hunger Games Panem sort of deal.

Flynn has trouble driving his ship, as he meets a “bit”, a small bit of data that only answers in yes or no. He, too, ends up in the city, and you start to notice that this film has a really heavy influence in our cyberpunk concepts and fashions today. Honestly, I really dig this whole thing. Kevin uses his programming powers to disguise himself as one of Sark’s guards, while Yori and Tron find their way through the main citadel of the guards.

They make their way through to the access tower, where they ask the program Dumont (Barnard Hughes again) to let them access the interface that will allow them to speak with the Users, specifically Alan. Reluctantly, Dumont agrees to let Tron through, where he goes to the access port. Which, for the record, looks awesome. He goes to speak with Alan, and he does that one pose. Y’know, the famous Tron pose that’s on the poster?

Yeah, that’s the good stuff. Anyway, he gets information written onto his disc that’ll allow him to kill MCP. Neat. And unfortunately, that’s exactly when Sark and his guys show up, taking Dumont away as Tron and Yori escape. Yori gets them onto a Solar Sailer, a device that will transport them to the central computer. Tron fends off some of Sark’s guys with video game noise kicks, and the Solar Sailer arrives to take them away.

Sark chases after them, but the pair manage to outrun his very cool-looking ship. MCP threatens to destroy Sark for his failure, but he promises that he’ll be able to get them. On the ship, Tron looks down at the side to see Flynn hanging on. Turns out that he was one of the guards that attacked the two. Tron pulls him up onto the ship, and Flynn reveals that he is, in fact, a user. He also reveals that Users aren’t exactly the gods that programs believe them to be.

Anyway, how’s Dumont doing?

Ah.

Well, the Recognizers find Tron, Yori, and Flynn, and chase after them on the light beam the Solar Sailer is on. However, with his User powers, Flynn manages to get the Sailer onto a different beam, while pulses on the original beam destroy the Recognizers.

Doesn’t end up mattering much, though, as Sark finally catches up and intercepts the group. The Solar Sailer is destroyed, and Yori and Flynn are thrown in the brig with Dumont, who’s still alive! Can’t say quite as much for Tron, apparently. But, again, I can only assume that Ton is still alive. We’ll see, though. Sark denies Flynn’s identity as a User for some reason (I mean, MCP told you who he was, but OK), and he sentences them all to death. Outside the ship, of course, is Tron, who’s hiding and waiting for the right time to strike. And that is when we finally see him.

Glorious. Absolutely goddamn glorious. MCP is taking the remaining programs that believe in Users, Dumont included, and incorporating them into his mass. Meanwhile, Sark has found Tron, and the two are fighting with a classic game of Ultimate Frisbee. Tron nearly defeats Sark entirely, but MCP revives him, and gives him the power to take out Tron. He grows gigantic, and it looks genuinely really convincing.

Flynn prepares to take out MCP once and for all, and kisses Yori just beforehand, which is weird as shit. He jumps into the program, and controls it just long enough for Tron to throw his disc at it and land the finishing blow. And with that, MCP is ended, and the threat of take over is gone! The I/O towers light up, and the Video Warriors have won! Don’t ask me what that means, I study birds.

And with ALL OF THAT DONE, Flynn gets the proof he needs from a print-out that, to be honest, I feel like he could’ve just typed up himself. It doesn’t look like that much. But, still, MCP is gone, Dillinger’s screwed, and Flynn now gets a cool-looking helicopter of his own, as the new CEO of ENCOM. And from there, he will become a deadbeat dad that abandons his kid to live in computers forever. Or something like that, it’s been a while since I’ve seen Tron Legacy.

And that’s Tron, a goofy movie of its time, but one that’s a lot of fun all the same. And with some effects that, to be honest...I actually really liked! But more on that...IN THE REVIEW! See you there!

[queennicoleinboots]

A Special PBC Royalty News Report by Stan Doe and Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles

"PRINCE BANANA ICE SHUT UP! WE'RE ABOUT TO BE LIVE!" King Bruce Ice shouted as he wore a huge silver crown on his head. He was staring at Prince Banana Ice.

Prince Banana Ice still couldn't stop giggling. He had a gold crown over his more ridiculous mohawk.

"You already are, King Bruce Ice," Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles spoke.

"OH SHIT!" King Bruce Ice said with a loud growl.

Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles started laughing. "I love this job."

Squire Blinky was wearing a blue sash over his shoulders with his light teal long-sleeved button-down shirt and blinking the news.

Count Vanilla wore a black cape with his white polo shirt with the pocket on the left breast. He was growling the news.

Prince Banana Ice was giggling as he translated what they were saying, "Hahaha. I'm sorry. This is definitely going on Youfail.cahm. But yes, Jaybird, a goat who is literally a GIANT FLOATING HEAD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." He was snort-laughing and failing miserably to contain himself.

"I'm sorry, PBC viewers. My son uncontrollably laughs literally when he sees a floating head. He gets that condition from his father. Jaybird, the giant floating goat head, will tell us the significance of AI script writing and its reflections on the living beings' condition as soon as my son stops hysterically laughing... I'm surprised his larynx still works," Queen Gloria spoke as she wore a bright gold intricate crown on her head.

Prince Banana Ice was covering his mouth and had his head on the desk as he was heaving and laughing.

"Thank you, Queen Gloria," Jaybird said as his head took up the entire screen.

Prince Banana Ice lost it and literally fell out of his chair laughing. The other members of the royalty news family stared at him with concern. Count Vanilla suppressed a giggle.

"Seriously. What the hell is so funny about my floating head?" Jaybird asked. "Is he good?"

"No, he's fucked up," King Bruce Ice said as a matter-of-factly as Prince Banana Ice was laughing hysterically and flying around the studio with his rocket shoes yet again. Blinky and Count Vanilla were now laughing hysterically.

"CLEARLY!" Jaybird's voice boomed as he, too, started laughing uncontrollably. "Chrissy, submissive queen of laughter tolerance and nomenclature, can you please close-caption my broadcast. Hahahahahaha! I can't do this. This is the second time that RIDICULOUS bear has started flying around the studio while laughing hysterically for no... HAHAHAHAHAHA apparent HAHUEHA reason!" The flying goathead was now laughing, crying, and shaking.

The news crew that were off-camera were also laughing.

Chrissy, comedian who also was breaking down with laughter, was putting closed captions on Jaybird's floating head. They read:

"In my opinion, the most interesting part of Bouregard [the AI playwright] has been his way of teaching us patterns in science fiction storytelling. Bouregard's writing sounds original and crazy, but it's still based on what living beings actually write. Oscar the Grouch calls these results the 'average' of everything Bouregard looked at. Certain phrases kept coming up again and again. There's an interesting recurring pattern in Moonfall where characters say, 'WHAT IS THAT?!,' 'NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS?!,' and 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, BECAUSE I SURE DON'T.' They're questioning the environment and questioning what’s in front of them. There's a pattern in sci-fi movies of characters trying to understand the environment. Interestingly, Oscar the Grouch has developed a writing pattern similar to Bouregard. He just regurgitates on the paper and hopes the audience likes that written vomit flavor of the week. Xara's writing has become more and more like that. It shows how much of a joke the writing community has become in 2021. When the writing becomes degenerate, the whole society becomes degenerate. I'm actually trying to write a REAL memoir with Sci-Fi tropes. I'm not regurgitating, but if I did, who the hell would care, ya know? Does anyone really know what's going on in the writing community anymore?"

"Frankly, I'm not sure. Your report seems to sum it up, though. Thank you for your report, Jaybird," Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles said while trying to be serious again.

"You're welcome, Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles. I'm in pain from laughter. Thank you," Jaybird said as he was trying to breathe.

"You're welcome, Jaybird. I've been trying to write, but between having to file five weeks of paperwork to even get on the Green Planet in the first place, getting everyone off of the ship, feeding 46 very hungry pups, and having back to back broadcasts, I just don't have the time. The public doesn't know what secretaries GO THROUGH," Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles said.

"PREACH! Being a secretary is a nightmare. I had to file two weeks of paperwork to merely deliver goods to... Prince Banana Ice... I can't get over that name. And that was horrid. Aye. I couldn't imagine the paperwork for permanent residence on this planet," Queen Gloria said.

Prince Banana Ice's rocket shoes were tied together and hanging like Christmas lights on a clothesline over the entire royal newscast. Prince Banana Ice was wiping his eyes and trying to compose himself.

"It was drrrrrreeeeeaaaadful. Speaking of secretarial work, where the hell is Xara? And more importantly, where is PRINCE PETER WALLACE PARKER!? I haven't even so much seen her or HIM in the break room lately! What is going on?! They are scheduled to do reports! Especially Prince Peter," Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles said strongly.

"I have no idea, but Xara's writing is definitely funny at least. As for Prince Peter, he has mastered the disappearing act. No one ever knows where he is," Pastor Penn said as he wore a gold sash over his gray polo shirt. He changed shirts in the commercial break.

"I quite agree. It's sensational in the most unsensational of ways. It says a lot and says nothing. It's the most untalented talent I have ever had the guilty pleasure of reading," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets spoke as he wore a small silver crown on his head.

"I share your sentiment, Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets," Pastor Penn said.

"Admittedly me, too. Ummm... Xara's writing... ummm... is so bad that it's good.... uggghhhh.... I'm good with her NOT doing her broadcast right now," Prince Banana Ice stammered as he nervously looked around the room and tapped his fingers together. "And-and-and I'm definitely not ready for Prince Peter. Not even a little. Nope Nope Nope nope."

Count Vanilla growled eighteen times.

"I know it's not technically my choice of when their broadcasts are due, but ummmm..." Prince Banana Ice spoke softly as he looked down at the desk and blushed.

"Why does it matter when they are broadcasting?" King Bruce Ice asked.

"I believe I know the answer," a tall black goat with a melodic deep voice answered. His fur was brushed perfectly, and his soft brown eyes glowed in the lights.

"Please enlighten us, Stan Doe. We have to do something while Xara and Peter are making us wait!" Chrissy, sub with many titles said with a loud sigh.

The camera showed Stan Doe wearing a gray suit, white shirt, and a red tie. "Yes. I am Stan Doe, a brother reporter of Chrissy and her unlimited titles. Prince Banana Ice is not ready for Xara's or Prince Peter's broadcast because they are XARA's and PRINCE PETER'S broadcasts. It's not the content. It's the people reporting them. Also, pronouns are important," he spoke in a deep voice. He was more intelligent than most other goats.

"Correct! Wow! Someone who understands me!" Prince Banana Ice shouted with glee.

"Okay," King Bruce Ice said with his eyebrow raised. "Why are you not ready for XARA or PRINCE PETER to report?"

"OH COME ON! DO I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN THAT ON INTERGALACTIC NEWS?!" Prince Banana Ice shouted as the blush deepened on his face as he untied his shoes from the clothesline quickly.

"Probably not," Pastor Penn stated.

"Thank you," Prince Banana Ice said as he put his shoes back on. He was probably ready to use them at any minute.

"But I will," Steve Doe said as the camera went back to him. "Prince Banana Ice is nervous around most females and males he thinks are more attractive than he is. When in company of several females or very attractive men, you will find him hiding on the ceiling or under a desk. Why? Even *I* have no idea."

Prince Banana left his crown on the desk in front of his chair and was off-camera.

King Bruce Ice chuckled. "So... when are Xara and Prince Peter getting here?"

King Joebear intercepted the transmission with his naked black bear body and a gold crown on his head. "GQ?"

"National Geographic," King Bruce Ice said. "By the way, I guess every bear in the League of Extraordinary Bears is now in the Royal Court of Royal Bears. More news will be reported on the Royal Court of Royal Bears when we figure out who is doing what role in the Royal Court of Bears. But luckily, we have ironed out most of the members in the Royal Court of Royal Bears. Again, more of the story will come."

"Yes, Bruce... King Bruce Ice. I noted the crown. I've been busy playing Magic The Gathering. It's degenerate, so it isn't newsworthy," King Joebear said.

"You play MTG, too?!" Prince Banana Ice asked as he leaned into the camera and looked at King Joebear.

"Yes. Do you?" King Joebear asked.

"Yes. I'm only *the* Master Deck Builder on this side of Glorgia," Prince Banana Ice said with a smug smile.

"No, dude. That title belongs to me," King Joebear spoke.

"...Doubt it," Prince Banana Ice said with a smirk.

King Bruce Ice growled to stop that conversation. "Where is your wife, King Joebear?"

"Queen Xara is actually taking a dump. She apologizes for being late to the broadcast," King Joebear said.

"THE MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION IS, IS SHE ALL RIGHT?! AND DO YOU KNOW WHERE PRINCE PETER IS?! I MUST KNOW IMMEDIATELY!" Chrissy, sub of many titles shouted.

"Yes. She is watching your broadcast and taking a dump. I haven't seen or heard from Prince Peter in weeks, Chrissy... are you royalty?" King Joebear asked.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! I WOULD NEVER INSULT THE WORD 'ROYALTY' BY ASSOCIATING MYSELF WITH IT! KING JOEBEAR, you honor me, but I do not deserve that honor," Chrissy, sub of many titles said dramatically.

Everyone clapped. Chrissy, sub actress of nomenclature, was a great actress. She should have been a Broadway star.

"Thank you, everyone. Does anyone have any pressing news while we wait for Xara, OH MY GOD... NESS! QUEEN XARA! I REPEAT, QUEEN XARA! EXCUSE ME!" Chrissy, Submissive Drama Queen said as her greenish yellowish hazel eyes were about to pop out of her head.

"Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy, you're all right," I said as I showed up on the screen from the neck up.

"Oh heavens, Queen Xara. I missed you! Are you ready to do your broadcast?" Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy asked. "And do you know where Prince Peter is?! Also, a side note. I need that video AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!"

Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy wanted a private video of my audition to be a news anchor should my cleaning business have trouble getting registered with the local government in 2022 due to jab requirements that I will forever refuse to comply with.

Prince Banana Ice screamed and flew up to the ceiling. How the hell does he stick to the ceiling? Is he a spider bear?

"No. I'm not. Hehehe. I'm looking for Prince Peter, too. I assume he is hiding from the world due to another strain of the Plague appearing. I noticed that he was having more difficulty floating than usual. Maybe he is having second thoughts about being jabbed again. I am sorry that I haven't done the video yet. I have been busy with... stuff," I said as I looked at Prince Banana Ice now sprawled out on the ceiling as he tried desperately to hide from the camera. I giggled. "Is Prince Banana Ice good?" I giggled again.

Prince Banana Ice hyperventilated as he stared at me from the ceiling with wide eyes before he gulped. "Yeah. I'm fine up here. REALLY! Quick, can someone else do a broadcast?" Prince Banana Ice asked.

"Yes. I can. And it is very urgent! ....Queen Chrissy, can you provide me with an hour to broadcast? This is very urgent!" Pastor Penn asked.

"Hang on. Xara, dammit Queen Xara. What the hell is wrong with me tonight?!" Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy asked.

"You're nervous, Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy. What do you need?" I asked.

"May I give Pastor Penn 60 minutes of air time?" Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy asked. "I need something to keep my mind off of PRINCE PETER'S ABSENCE!"

"Oh yeah! I love Off Grid Desert Farming with Penn and Alexia. Best news channel ever," I said.

"Thank you, Xara. You're one of my favorite contributors. I'd love to talk more, but I have GOT to get this news out," Pastor Penn said.

"No problem. Pastor Penn. You have the floor," I said.

"Thank you. And we must thank Squire Blinky, Count Vanilla, Prince Banana Ice, Queen Gloria, King Bruce Ice, Jaybird, Stan Doe, Queen Chrissy, and last but not least Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets for their contributions to today's broadcast," Pastor Penn said.

Everyone thanked Pastor Penn and nodded to him. Prince Banana Ice chuckled one last time before he flew the fuck out of the news studio.

"Thank you. We will be right back with a 60-minute special with Pastor Penn and Off Grid Desert Farming with his wife, Alexia after another 15-minute commercial break and another long period of time before PRINCE PETER ARRIVES! GOOD HEAVENS!," Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy spoke to the camera with a needy look before dramatic elevator music played in the background.

[sparklyjojos]

random Maijo meta / wild theory musings for ID:INVADED. it’s very rambly, you have been warned

[spoilers! for Id:Invaded, Disco Wednesdayyy, Tsukumojuku and JDC]

--  the initial title was Alien Thursdayyy, which references Disco Wednesdayyy. In the latter book, the protagonist’s surname is connected to Odin (because Wednesday = Odin’s Day) and to Mercury/Hermes. If so, the protag of Alien Thursdayyy could be connected to Thor, especially since we know there was supposed to be a Jupiter Z involved (Jupiter = Zeus, also a god of thunder). It’s possible that things like Narihisago’s well being a giant thunderstorm or the lightning bolt pattern on Sakaido’s shoes were left over from that old version. [I didn’t figure this one out myself, Maijo twitter did.]

--  the new hot theory seems to be that Fukuda/Anaido came from *Miyavi’s dramatic voice* THE OTHER SIDE, however you interpret this. Which would sorta make him similar to Mercury C, who was also from “the other side”?

--  this one’s more obvious, but an entire sci-fi tech system working on (or at least being jumpstarted by) prolonged suffering of a girl is reminiscent of the Kozue Method. Which I guess gives a bit more relevance to the idea that John Walker, the source of Kiki’s suffering, is something similar to the Nail Peeler and/or the Black Bird Man. We’ll see. (Additional note: The fact that the interaction of a drive for love and a drive for violence, and especially mistaking one for the other, has been already investigated in the anime, makes me lean even more toward this theory--the Black Bird Men were born from hatred and anger as results of love. ...Cue episode 10 with Narihisago murdering not-quite-yet-killers to protect Kiki/his family and then John Walker appearing in his well.)

--   completely incidentally, Kozue’s new surname at the end of Disco was Inoue, literally meaning “over / on top of the well”, and Kikyou’s (the alter’s) name can be read as “Kiki”. (Also completely incidentally, we learn about the new surname right after Disco observes that random frog, so you can imagine my face when I was skimming through and suddenly saw the katakana for kaeru, lol.)

(-- speaking of Disco, it still fucks me up that Mitamura would fit the naming convention, since not only is his last name a sake brand from Fukui, but even his great detective persona can be seen as named after a dish containing alcohol (Runbaba = a rum baba). ...I’ll file this one under “fanfiction ideas for later”.)

-- there’s this one theory that was obviously disproven, but I still love the wordplay so much: “Momoki’s” well has a Kiki well in it. The first kanji of Momoki’s name means ”a hundred” and the “ki” can mean a “tree”. The name Kiki also has a “tree” in it. Cue Wakashika explaining Chesterton’s trick of hiding the tree in a forest. (It was a leaf in the actual quote but shhh)

-- do you know how long it took me to realize that the # in #BRAKE BROKEN is probably supposed to resemble the kanji for “well” (井)? too long. ARGH

-- this one has been talked about ever since the first episodes, but Murakami’s Kafka on the Shore (haven’t read that one) has Johnnie Walker as an antagonist, and knowing Maijo’s love for Murakami, the reference is intentional. People pointed out that episode 9 and 10′s arc of choosing between the real world and the fake one reminded them of Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World (...also haven’t read that one. I need to brush up on my bizarre Japanese novels). While this emotional arc is a call back to Tsukumojuku (it even spans episodes NINE and TEN, come on), Tsukumojuku itself was heavily referencing Hard-Boiled Wonderland and even name-dropped it once or twice. There’s an entire critical piece in Faust vol. 3 that compares the two books extensively.

-- since Tsukumojuku and Disco both had that “24 elders” symbolism, I’m going hmmm over Shirakoma Nishio’s first name being written 二四男, the kanji meaning “two”, ”four” and ”men”. (Doubt it will mean anything, but again, neat fanfic fodder.)

--  Maijo had a short story called 夜中に井戸がやってくる。in Faust vol. 4, and from what I’ve heard it’s about a female ghost emerging from a family’s well at night. I haven’t read it, so it’s possible I’m missing some references?

-- why is that one episode called Fallen. why does it not have -ed at the end like everything else. what is the meaning of this

-- [JDC spoilers, seriously] Narihisago’s ability to talk people into suicide seems to be lifted wholesale from Dokuson’s personal ability, and Anaido reminds me of Pyramid Mizuno, who also pretended to be hilariously inept at detective work while actually being the smartest one around. Hondomachi talking about feeling that intense hatred for serial killers reminded me of Nemu's similar hatred, which the narration brings up so often in the books I feel like it’s foreshadowing for... something very not good. Not sure if any of this is intentional.

[dreamercail]

nanowrimo musings 2.0

so like five years ago I did a little nanowrimo retrospective where I talked a little bit about each story I wrote and what I thought about it. I’ve been thinking of doing another one while also avoiding other responsibilities so join me on this walk down memory lane:

PUTTING UNDER CUT CUZ IT’S A LOT OF WORDS WHOOPS

Silicon (2009) - Oh geez, I hate to even count this one, but it was my first ever nano attempt so I gotta. A story about Theresa Lee, a girl who unknowingly is an android (closer to a cyborg?), and the team running the experiment. I don’t even think I made it to 10,000 words. Features: first attempts at an intergenerational friendship and an interesting framing device. I don’t think I’ve opened the file in at least 10 years. This is probably for the better.

Relapse of Vernadora (2010) - my first NaNo win! Originally started off steampunk inspired but I have no idea what the final product was (there were airships?? and that was really it). A story about a half dozen Chosen Ones™️ who represent ~elemental abilities~ and they have to...save the country they’re in?? Because it happens every couple hundred years?? I don’t really know. Featuring: a fun first half of interconnecting stories and dialogue that sounds like bad anime fan fiction. Overall a yikes from me but I still love Chira Chronum as a character and will until I die.

Colossal (2011) - I will always label this one as the most read amongst people I know. It’s a pretty simple story about a group of teenagers who can see giants and have to go on a road trip to stop the guy who’s bringing them back from the dead. Featuring: a literal ripped from tv tropes 5 man band set up and entirely okay if not weak narration. In the end it’s hard for me to go back to and read because I’ve gotten a lot better but I’m still proud of it. Also the five main teens have such a special place in my heart and I’ll probably never be fully done with them. Also I think my only nano with a sequel?? (that took me like six years to write lmao)

Extinction Could be a Lot Worse (2012) - 300 years after global cataclysm, and humans have become a minority, giving rise to insect- and fish-humanoid hybrids known as Entosaps and Aquacrans. Arata is a kid with a guitar looking for one of the last major human settlements on earth. Featuring: half baked concepts, heavy handed and misguided messages about racism, and one actually decent speech at the end. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh I’ve never felt great about this one. It didn’t take me long after writing it to realize my messaging was super mixed and not as woke as I thought. Also like a few super problematic parts that make me cringe hard. Not the worst thing ever but not one I go back to.

How to be an Urban Legend (2013) - oh thank god the streak of straight protagonists has been broken. A really fun deuteragonist set up! Aliya is a party girl in need of a job. Morse is a down on her luck, awkward girl with a penchant for local urban legends. Each encounter Mackenzie Fylan, an urban legend known as a parsinct, a person who goes through overwhelming tragedy and emerges with supernatural abilities, and chaotic teleporter. Through a series of events the two girls uncover some peculiar goings ons in the basement of their office building. Featuring: a plot where like not a ton happens and a fun chapter naming convention. In the grand scheme of things an entirely okay story. Not a story with a ton of stakes but it marked a turning point in my writing as far as description writing and narration go. Aliya and Morse are an unstable couple, but I think I take a little too much joy in their dysfunction.

Scribed. (2014) - Most famous for not being finished, rip. In a world where writers are assigned particular individuals to “scribe” their lives, Ariel Hess accidentally discovers he’s being written about by the inexperienced scribe, Maiara Snow. It would’ve been a fun kind of breakdown and commentary on the stories we consume and the protagonists we choose to write about but it never quite made it off the ground (partially due to life being a lot that year). Featuring: really not much but some fun with style/formatting.

The Incredibly Consequential Life of Charlie Zappala (2016) - After having to skip 2015, this was a fun one to write. Also, chaotic cuz I dallied the first half of the month then ended up writing like 22k in 6 days. Charlie is a disillusioned 20-something who always thought they were made for something greater until real life came and beat them with a stick. That is, until an interdimensional elf herald pops out of their refrigerator and claims they’re the Chosen One. From there Charlie has to balance the world of their dreams with the world they know and figure out which is really meant for them. Featuring: first nonbinary protagonist and a whole lot of swearing. Charlie as a character is such an outlet for a lot of processing of what it means to be an adult in this day and age. I love them a lot. Of course, in the manic way the story was written the pacing is wonk and needs some work before it’s the best it can be. Also the only nanowrimo (save the unfinished ones) that never got a proper edit.

a.u. (2017) - HEY DID I MENTION THIS ONE WON AN AWARD. I’m sure I have. To go from no one reading my stories to now thousands of folks having checked this one out is A Lot but also probably one of the coolest things to ever happen to me. Damian is a fresh out of college fuck boy, Alexander is a hipster barista. They meet in a coffee shop, we all know what happens then, right? If by that you meant that a mysterious earthquake comes every morning to the coffee shop and leaves the two with the only memories of it happening, then yes, we all know what happens. A story meant to be an exploration of fan fiction tropes and AUs, but also with an underlying message of what it means to find yourself when the world around you is constantly changing (#kidswhomovedalotproblems). Very admittedly nervous that I was gonna come across as fetishizing mlm relationships just by nature exploring the typical “””””BL plot””””” so that’s probably what’s stopped me from out right asking people I know to read it haha. Featuring: boys kissing and some actually damn good analogies that I have yet to replicate. Did I mention it won an award? And currently has 30k reads?? Anyway read it online. No shame.

Road to Arcadia (2018) - Boy does this one have my whole heart. Set in a very nearby future (about 30 years) in a world where we did jack shit about climate change (so like current trajectory), Kai Gilling sets off to the desert to look for something better. On the way he encounters a pair of siblings and a woman who says she has a map to Arcadia, an urban legend rumored to be the only city thriving during these hellish times. Cue: desert road trip story. I’d been wanting to write a desert road trip story for ages and the route the characters follow is nearly identical to one my dad and I took on a road trip the preceding summer, so it all came together. Featuring: a main cast where none of the characters are cis/het and Jeep Wranglers. The letters Kai writes back home have some of my favorite writing and some raw emotion and thoughts from me. It’s not perfect in its execution and it doesn’t have the playfulness that a.u. has, but it’s really special to me. Also available online! (not as many reads tho working on that one)

EXCAVATOR: Tales from the Twelve Vessels (2019) - Probably my first real big step into hardcore sci-fi and another deuteragonist tale. In the future, out in the deep recesses of space, flies the jaundian coalition, a group of twelve spaceships housing orphaned races from across the universe, most notably the sapiens (ya humans) and the nkrey (kinda like a mix between grey aliens and high elves). The story follows Meera, a wide-eyed Idealist looking to work planetside and Sauk, a convicted criminal who would like to do not that. Shenanigans ensue. It’s definitely out of my comfort zone to write something in a world so unfamiliar and it was hard to do a nanowrimo story when half the time needed was for world building. Also still not fully finished to this day. I got the 50k but still have a lot left to write in terms of plot. Featuring: ALIENS and sassy teammates. One that I probably won’t know how to feel about until at least another year or so.

Thanks so much for reading!! And oh man I’m only scraping the surface of a lot of this. If you ever wanna know one thing I could talk forever about it’s my stories and characters.

[tonystarkficrecs]

Hey, i hate to bother you again, but have you seen endgame yet? Also do you have any really happy fics?

I have!! I’ll be doing my best to avoid spoiling anything for anyone and I’ll make another post about it, but if/when I rec any fics containing Endgame spoilers, I’ll be using the tags #endgame and #endgame spoilers. 

I’m putting the recs under a cut because this list grew really huge really fast (19 fics!!). They’re the happiest, fluffiest ones I can remember reading (and if that’s not enough, check out the fluff tag for more!). 

The (Not So) Great Pretender by RayShippouUchiha

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 19,585

Pairing: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

“What,” Tony says softly but with a great depth of feeling, “the actual fuck just happened?”

“I believe, Sir,” JARVIS pipes up from the phone in his pocket, an unnecessary amount of what sounds like glee in his voice, “that you’ve once again managed to maintain your closely guarded secret identity. Truly your subterfuge skills know no bounds.“

“You’re an asshole J,” Tony mutters back as he reaches up to rub at his temple. He either has a headache coming on or a blood clot. At this point he’s honestly not sure which he’d prefer.

“I did learn from the best, Sir,” JARVIS tells him sunnily.

i babysat god and he stabbed me with a fork by surveycorpsjean

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 11,395

Pairing: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange

Completed: Yes

If these two idiots don’t sort out their shit real soon, Loki is going to stab everyone in this room and then himself.

What I Need I Just Don’t Have by gyzym

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 2,199

Pairing: James Rhodes/Tony Stark

Complete: Yes

If you want this choice position, have a cheery disposition. (Or: Tony needs an assistant. Rhodey needs a break.)

Phil Coulson’s Case Files of the Toasterverse by scifigrl47

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 287,890 (series)

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark (+various other pairings)

Completed: No (most works in series completed) 

Short stories from the Toasterverse, because the author gets panicky writing long form stories built around plot and has to finish something in order to function.

Phil has problems with these people. So does the Author.

Late Nights and Bare Bottoms by Shi_Toyu

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 1,947

Pairing: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

Tony stared down at the gingerbread cookies that’d been placed on the edge of the work station. It’d been the smell that’d drawn him out of his tunnel vision. He didn’t normally smell gingerbread in the middle of August. He blinked hazily, but the plate of cookies didn’t disappear. They were still warm, too, when he picked one up and bit into it.

God, and delicious. He moaned and stuffed the rest of the cookie into his mouth, already reaching for another one.

“You like them.”

Tony nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of Bucky’s voice, but in a flat tone. The super soldier loomed behind his chair, hair a tangled mess and face completely blank. He was dressed in Clint’s ‘I love to rub my meat’ apron and what appeared to be nothing else.

“Uhhh… yes?”

don’t know why it took me so long to see by goodmorningbeloved

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 11,209

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

“Oh, watch this,” Natasha says, propping her chin against her knuckles and turning a sweet gaze on him. “Tony, what’s it like dating a superhero?”

Tony bristles in irritation. “We’re not dating,” he snaps. “Captain America probably thinks he can get into anyone’s pants just ‘cause he’s got a mask, costume, and reputation, but not me, buddy. That shield? Gotta be overcompensating for something.” He adds, a bit petulantly, “Oh, and all that blue? Definitely more Steve’s color than his.”

-In which Tony is a genius in all matters except recognizing his boyfriend past a mask.

No, He’s Your Son by orphan_account

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 1,420

Pairing: Gen (pre Tony Stark/Stephen Strange)

Completed: Yes

peter, on the phone: dad i forgot my homework can you drop it off in the seminar hall it’s empty don’t worry

strange: ok

strange, walking out of a portal into a hall filled with students:

peter, loudly: EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM OWES ME FIVE DOLLARS I TOLD YOU MY DAD WAS A WIZA-

may the fourth by irnan

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 1,762

Pairing: Gen

Completed: Yes

So there’s this project Tony has been working on since he was ten years old which is only marginally less awesome than the specs for the TARDIS he totally could have built if Fury would’ve just let him had the Tesseract for a couple hours longer.

Peter Parker’s Step-By-Step Guide to Get These Two Dumbasses to Kiss Already by everythingsace

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 3,781

Pairing: James Rhodes/Tony Stark

Complete: Yes

Rhodes was on the floor, his legs pulled up beside him, and Mr. Stark was kneeling down beside him, asking questions and checking if he was okay.With the biggest heart-eyes he’d ever seen.Peter’s jaw dropped as he stared, his eyes turning to Rhodes, only to realize that he had the doe eyes, too. Not quite as bad and obvious, but holy shit.Holy shit.

Tony Stark is the Alyssa Milano by Akira_of_the_Twilight

★ ★ ★

Words: 1,388

Pairing: Peter Quill/Tony Stark

Complete: Yes

Prompt: Starkquill where somehow Drax was the first one to notice that Tony and Peter were into each other, but he’s been around humans for a while now and he understands that if you tell them things directly they’ll just do the opposite and ruin everything for everyone, so he’s going to get them together using… metaphors

“Kidnapped, enjoys space, likes your music, and can dance,” Drax listed off.

Peter grinned. “Yeah, pretty cool dude. I might actually miss him by the time we get him back to Earth.”

For a man who had been in search of a partner for as long as Drax had known him, Drax was surprised that Peter was unable to see his perfect match right before him.

Earthlings could be quite stupid sometimes.

Rocket Science by marsmaywander and orbingarrow

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 12,094

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

Sleep-deprived and under-caffeinated, grad student Tony falls asleep in a conveniently empty classroom and wakes up in the middle of Bruce’s Physics 101 course. After seeing a groggy Tony fumble a simple question, actual-student Bucky offers to tutor him. In a moment of “oh no; he’s cute” panic, Tony takes him up on it. Now, in addition to his already complicated life, Tony has to figure out the answer to the incredibly messy question: “How do you look like you’re failing the class, when you literally wrote the book?”

i stole the keys to this guy by kellifer_fic

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 6,007

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

Where it was Nick Fury’s idea, but he didn’t mean it like that.

The Tongues of Men and Angels by copperbadge

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 2,369

Pairing: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

Extremis has a few unexpected benefits.

Pint-Sized Parker by flyingonfeatherlesswings

★ ★ ★

Words: 3,636

Pairing: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange

Completed: Yes

Tony is called away from a meeting to deal with a now toddler-aged Peter Parker, who went snooping around in Stephen Strange’s spells.

carpool introductions by sapphirestark

★ ★ ★

Words: 2,401

Pairing: Gen

Completed: Yes

“It’s - it’s nice to meet you too, Colonel Rhodes, sir. I’m Peter. Uh, Parker.”

“I heard.” Rhodey smiled. Well, teenage Tony had certainly never been this polite. “Just call me Rhodey, kid.”

“O-okay, Rhodey.” Peter’s timid smile transformed into a grin. Rhodey decided he would definitely rub that in Clint’s face the next time he claimed Rhodey wasn’t good with kids.

“Are you kidding me?” Tony interrupted from the driver’s seat. “He’s Rhodey after two minutes and you’re still calling me ’Mr Stark’?”

Angry Genius White Noise by copperbadge

★ ★ ★

Words: 520

Pairing: Tony Stark/Pepper Potts

Complete: Yes

One of Pepper’s favorite activities after a long day is putting on sci-fi movies and watching Tony dissect their bad science. He’ll happily spend two hours curled up against her and ranting about the flawed central plan in Armageddon and how REALLY, HE HOPES AN ASTEROID HEADS FOR EARTH, HE’LL SHOW HOLLYWOOD HOW TO REALISTICALLY AVOID AN EXTINCTION-LEVEL EVENT, DAMMIT. Pepper finds it oddly relaxing, like angry genius white noise. Add in Bruce, and she could sell tickets.

The More You Know by Nokomis

★ ★ ★

Words: 2,457

Pairing: Gen

Completed: Yes

Peter’s first post-mission Avengers hang out goes about as well as one would expect.

home is where the science is by IntrovertedOwl

★ ★ ★

Words: 2,566

Pairing: Gen

Completed: Yes

Tony wasn’t jealous.

The very idea was ridiculous. Laughable. Absurd.

In fact, he was pleased.

Yes, that’s what he was. Pleased. And a little smug.

But the Best of Men by lusilly

★ ★ ★

Words: 2,113

Pairing: Gen

Completed: Yes

In which Tony introduces a fifteen-year-old boy to Steve, and Steve is touched that Tony would introduce him to his son.

(Except he’s not Tony’s son, he’s the newest Avenger, and Tony’s just completely oblivious to how parental he’s become.)

[tarithenurse]

Space Nurse 8/11

Fandom(s): Men in Black & MCU! Pairing: (Wait and see) x fem!reader Contents: Language...probably more but I can’t remember right now. A/N: Didn’t do any proof reading this time, sorry. But if you want a tag anyways, just send me an ask and thank you for reading! Also thank you if you don’t want a tag, of course.

On aliens

Slipping into bed late at night, you’d been happy to leave the alarm off for once, assuming that you finally will get to sleep in.

Alas.

A hard knocking wakes you and a glance at the clock shows that it’s just a bit past 7AM. The first attempt at ignoring whoever’s on making that awful noise by burying your head under the pillow doesn’t work, and so you sit up with a groan.

“Hang ON!” Your throat is dry, making the words come out as sharp croaks.

Reaching for the water bottle with on hand and rubbing your eye with the root of the other, you curse mornings and morning people. There’s a reason you preferred evening and night shifts. Whoever’s on the other side of the door must have no sense of proper morning etiquette, because there’s a new knock. Not as loud, but just as insistent.

A few steps and you yank the door up, ready to give the offender a talking to. Jay. Impeccable as always in a suit, though the tie has been loosened slightly, the tall man’s leaning against the door frame with crossed ankles.

“Goooood morning, sunshine.” Treating you to the elevator look, he smiles like the cat that ate the canary. “Heard you had some fun last night?”

The short and faded Foo Fighters t-shirt doesn’t cover you as much as you’d want, making your cheeks burn as a knot of discomfort builds in your chest. Crap. Fuck. Oh, well. Pretending to not give a damn, you glare up at the man.

“Went out with some of the soldier or whatever. What’s it to you?” You know the words come out too defensively, but it’s morning so you’re not about to apologize.

Jay’s eyebrows do a little dance in amusement. If he’s a cat, then it’s the Cheshire Cat. “Heard you had your first encounter too.”

“What business is it of yours who I hook up with?!”

He might have a lot to say in your future here, but some things are beyond he’s limits. Defiant and cross with the constant scrutiny at your every move, it’ll only take a few drops more before you snap…even with the surprisingly kind change in Costa’s behaviour last night.

“That’s not wha–“ apparently catching up with the meaning, Jay smoothly latches on to what was said. “Wait, you got lucky?”

Where’s the hole I can hide in. “What are you talking about?”

“Meeting you first extraterrestrial. You?”

Now, you’re fairly sure that the fuzziness of some of the events wouldn’t be enough to make you forget seeing a real alien but wracking your brain you come up empty. Alright…a few of the customers hadn’t been the pinnacle of human perfection on a lot of levels, but tentacles, green skin or any of the other things depicted in your binder…that would have stood out.

“What?”

…

28.10.2018.

I’ve been here a month, waiting for approval and as such clearance to a higher security level before I get to see some of the E.T. patients. This morning agent Jay stopped by. Why? He claimed I met a real alien last night while in town with Thorpes x2, Costa and a bunch of other people. First, I thought he was joking…I mean, come ON! I didn’t drink that much so I KNOW I’d have remembered meeting a Mars-man.

Well. I didn’t. But apparently an Asgardian woman?

Jay let me have a shower and then we went to the mess-hall for breakfast while he explained things starting with the attack on NY years ago. Pointing out that I’d have recognized those monsters, he just told me to shut up. I know about Thor and Loki and how the former likes popping by on a visit. I didn’t know he wasn’t the only one. Nor the first one.

Fact: Men in Black were established back in the ‘50ies or ‘60ies to keep track and handle visiting extraterrestrials from all over the world universes. Most look like something from a cheap sci-fi movie, like the files I’ve had to study hints at…but not all. Which I guess makes sense with Thor and his brother, but somehow it just didn’t register with me that anyone else like them would be here? Also, MiB are pretty good at disguising the visitors that don’t look human, so there’s that.

Yeah.

Long story short…I may have made out with an Asgardian warrior-supreme last night. A Valkyrie…named Brunhilde. Forget Wagner and big, blond women with horned helmets (which I know Vikings didn’t have anyways). Apparently Asgard is culturally diverse. Or was. The reason a lot of Asgardians are here is because Thor blew up their home to kill a big demon or something and they’ve sought refuge on Earth while looking for a better place? There’s a lot of the back story that I haven’t gotten yet.

Note to self: figure out what THE FUCK is GOING ON!

In other news. Both Jay and Jemma have handed in their assessments. Both positive, according to Jay. I should hear tomorrow what the verdict is.

I wonder how many other people aren’t actually people? Second note to self: don’t take anything or anyone for granted. Things are not as they seem. And where does Hilde stay?

…

Smacking the notebook shut, you stuff it away in one of the drawers before heading off towards the gym. Sure, it might be your day off, but with all the new information there’s no way you can sit still and study and with few other options available the choice lands on training.

You’re starting to formulate the theory that the gym is one of the places that never really is deserted. There’s always someone keeping up with the apparently very high standards for physical prowess, meaning you’re not really alone which until now hasn’t been much of an issue. That’s changed since Jay’s let you in on the big secret that there are aliens walking around in public and no civilian bloody knows. Now you suspect everyone you see of being from some far-off planet, and your nerves are sticking to you’re your shirt (thoroughly mixed with the sweat) as your feet carry you absolutely no further from the frustrating limbo of uncertainty.

The good thing is you break your own record for both pace and distance.

Bad thing is that the physical exhaustion leaves you feeling vulnerable as you step off the treadmill and begin to stretch.

“Couldn’t stay away?” Says a gentle voice right behind you.

Turning with a shriek, you automatically lash out like Taylor has taught you…except not as strongly and your fist is caught in an iron grip. Looking along your arms you find the very same man’s face grinning apologetically at you. Pulling your hand back and with burning cheeks (more than from the work out) you try to stammer out an apology.

“Chill. It’s okay.” The green flecks in his eyes are blocked as he looks away. “I know I can walk quietly.”

An awkward silence settles over the two of you, enhanced rather than muffled by the sounds of other people tending their own work-out regimen to the ambient music typical of any fitness center.

“Still uhm still on for tomorrow?” Anything to break the silence!

The soldier nods. “You better take it easy now…bringing in an extra to help with the training.” And without further explanation he sends you a tiny salute and stalks off, silent as usual.

What?

If he’s asked Costa or maybe even one of the twins, he wouldn’t bother tell you. Maybe. Or maybe he would? More questions and worries are added to your already spinning mind, making it seem impossible to find out which thoughts are even reasonable anymore. Instead of attempting anything else, you breathe out a groan, knowing that there’s only one possible cure left: a steamy hot shower followed by sleep.

[neen-writes]

Iron Legends -- Reforged: Chapter 19

Series: Fairy Tail

Characters: Gajeel, Levy, plus appearances from Natsu and Lucy.

Genre: Hurt/comfort, Sci-fi

Summary: The old lab had always been fuel for a good story, something you would half-heartedly joke about going to sometime.  Some did, and when they came back they never talked about it again.  The legends circulated, telling of ghosts, monsters, and anything else someone would be likely to conjure up about an abandoned building.  But even with all the stories meant to keep everyone away, there are still those for whom the intrigue is too tempting.  

Read the Reforged chapters on FFnet here, Ao3 here, and read the entire original story here!!  AND find this fic’s soundtrack here!  

Ko-fi

Note: FINALLY.  I’m so excited to finally post this one.  Essentially, this is an entirely different chapter.  And I am so much happier with what I did with this one, and closed up a lot more ends than the original.  Now, I am still working on the epilogue, which is still giving me plenty of trouble, but I figured I would post this even though it isn’t finished as this gives quite a bit of closure and ending to people that follow this.  Whoever is left that this point lol...but anyway, I really hope you all enjoy this, and the changes I’ve made.  I’ll be updating Ao3 and FF with this chapter sometime later today.  And finally, tagging my reading/support squad cause they give nothing but encouragement when I need it :] @spikerr @smartcookie727 @whereisthefood123 @bluuesparrow @capaleran2

Ch. 1  Ch. 2  Ch. 3  Ch. 4 Ch. 5 Ch. 6 Ch. 7 Ch. 8 Ch. 9 Ch.10 Ch. 11 Ch. 12 Ch. 13 Ch. 14 Ch. 15 Ch. 16 Ch. 17 Ch. 18

Igneel wasn’t able to compose himself enough to say something for nearly a minute.  Instead, he slowly slid his gaze to the now dark-faced woman who was supposed to help them with this.  The others had been damaged, uncooperative, but all of them at least knew who they were.

Mira may have been weighing her words, or she was quiet for the same reason Igneel was: this was a huge curveball, and now they had to readjust everything.  

The silence, of course, did not sit well with Gajeel, who glared at them both, slack-jawed.  “What the shit have I woken up into.  Am I even here?  Why the fuck won’t you talk to me!” he snarled, choking on his breath soon after.  A nurse tried to approach him with an oxygen mask, but he threw her such a wild glare that she recoiled.  The lack of answers alone were enough to piss him off, but he had also been made suddenly aware of how empty his head was.  He had no idea how he got here, what they were talking about, and worst of all, who he even was.

With a steadying breath, Igneel looked back to him.  “The name Gajeel really means nothing to you?  Does Jupiter?  Or Jose?” he asked, trying to keep his tone level, calm.  They’d waited weeks for him to recover, to get the most crucial pieces of this whole story, and he evidently could remember none of it.

With a grimace, the iron dragon looked down to the side.  That was the confirmation they dreaded.

Immensely frustrated, Igneel turned towards the doors but Mira stopped him before he could leave.  “It’s not uncommon for patients who have been under this long to have some lasting effects of confusion.  You can’t forget the sedatives we’ve been using to keep them calm.  He sustained a significant level of injury after the event and a great deal of mental trauma.  He only just woke up, we need to give him time,” she explained, her tone hushed as her eyes glanced to the much more subdued man in the hospital bed.  “The medications are fairly intensive, it’s a lot of strain on the body to go through everything he has, and then come back out of it.”

“We don’t have much more time to give.  Is it permanent?” Igneel asked, tight-lipped.  This was not the kind of development they needed.  The man had been through enough; it was time to get them home and close this.  Close every tie they could to Jupiter to ensure it never reared its head again.

“It’s hard to say; not typically, no.  I’ve seen cases that last from a few hours to a few days, it’s hard to say.  Being optimistic… time will tell,” Mira trailed off, looking to the case file tucked under the chief’s arm.  Her brows lifted slightly, thinking of something.  “Do you have photos in there?  For the whole case?”

Igneel lifted his brows and cocked his head back, looking down to the thick folder.  “Not all, but key players, yes,” he replied.

“Show them to him,” she said quickly, her eyes lighting up a bit.  “They could be immensely helpful in triggering something.”

Igneel sighed heavily and nodded.  “Anything to help speed up this process.”

Fucking hell.  These people barely tell me where I am and… god damnit I can’t remember.  The dragon squinted, closing his eyes tight.   He had nothing, only the name that cop kept calling him, the location of the hospital, and a raging headache.  He remembered nothing beyond waking up with a tube rammed down his throat.  Which was a less than enjoyable way to start the day as an evidently new person.

The pain had lessened, or he was just feeling less because of whatever they had stuck into his IV.  He did start to feel better, but he also started to feel weaker.  And with no knowledge of the situation he couldn’t know why they were giving him anything at all.  He tried to lift his arm to examine where the thin clear tube was attached, distracted from the other people in the room for just a moment.

His limb felt heavy as iron, and he could barely hold it up for a few seconds before he had exerted all his strength.  Damn, the hell did they give me?  The frustration wrinkled his studded features.  It was a feeling of powerlessness that he didn’t much like.  

“I’m right here,” Gajeel croaked, finally drawing the attention of the two speaking about him.  “Quit talkin’ like I ain’t in the room.”

Biting back a retort, Igneel approached the hospital bed as he opened up the large file, flipped to the middle, and pulled out a sizeable stack of photos.  He dropped the rest of the file on a chair by the bed, and flipped through the small stack, before grabbing one photo, an old mugshot, to hold out to him.  “This is you,” he said as Gajeel took it from him.  “Does any part of it look familiar?”

He blinked cluelessly, reaching a hand up to his own face to trace the line of piercings that were there.  He looked surprised to find them, just like in the photo, but still, he might as well have been looking at a picture of a stranger.  A fierce one at that.

The lack of reaction had Igneel handing him another picture, this time of Jose.  It was old, but the man’s face would be unmistakable.  At least, that’s what he hoped for.  This was the photo of someone who ruined his life, and Igneel banked on catharsis being enough to wake any kind of memory.

But, the same as before, Gajeel just looked at it blankly.  Feeling frustration grow in the chief, Gajeel’s own started to match it.  He dropped the picture into his lap and hissed out a breath between his teeth.  “Listen, I don’t know who any of these people are, and I don’t know what the hell ya want with me, but I do know I don’t want to be here.”  He lifted red, malicious eyes to the chief, hoping to intimidate him the same way he had with the nurses.  But the redhead just glared back down at him, unwavering.  “Tch,” he hissed through his teeth, “When can I leave.”  It was less of a question, more of a demand.

“When you’re better,” Igneel replied, evenly, picking up the rest of the file from the chair.  This wasn’t going anywhere soon.

“That’s a bullshit answer,” he spat back, earning a heavy glare from the exhausted, and thus volatile police chief.

“Look, jackass.  I don’t want to be here any more than you do.  But I have a job to do, and I have promises to keep.  So we are going to get you well and we are going to get you home one way or another.  If you cooperate.”  

Gajeel shut up at that point, abashed by the scolding, just as Mira stepped up to defuse the situation that certainly wasn’t helping anyone.  She stopped, however, when surprise fluttered across Gajeel’s face, and she placed a hand on the chief’s upper arm.  

His red eyes squinted, unsure where the pit in his stomach had suddenly come from, and why he felt the hair prickle along his arms.  “Say that again,” he said first, shaking his head to try and be clearer as both the doctor and the chief looked at him unsure.  “You have what?”

Igneel lifted a brow, unsure if the boy was being smart again and provoking him.  He glanced at Mira, then back to Gajeel.  “A job.”

“No,” Gajeel answered, quickly.  Too quick, it was half a bark and he tried to steady himself, because Igneel looked half ready to leave at point.  “The other thing.”

“I said I have promises to keep?” Igneel replied, and he might as well have slapped the man with the look on his face now.  He looked to Mira, confused, but she shook her head.

“Let it come to him.  Memory triggers come in every form you can imagine,” she whispered, smiling gently to Gajeel.  “Does that phrase mean something to you, Gajeel?” she asked carefully.   He only leveled a distressed look at her, mingled with defensive anger, like a cornered animal unsure if they were there to help or hurt him.

He looked like he might start to say one thing, the words just barely starting to form on his tongue, but he suddenly shook his head and gripped his scalp.  Spooked out of the thought.  “I don’t fuckin’ know, I don’t know I…” his gaze flew upwards suddenly, glaring nothing short of a warning to them both as the corner of his mouth curled into a tooth-baring grimace, “get out.  If ya ain’t gonna let me leave then get the hell out so I can ‘heal’ in peace.  I don’t know anything okay!?” he snarled, terrified by the clenching in his chest.  Something about that phrase was like plucking a chord in his heart.  The kind of chord that resonates so powerfully you feel it in your teeth.

Sighing in defeat, Mira backed up a step and nodded.  She knew well enough when to accept a loss.  “We can’t push it, this is enough for now,” she said as an aside to Igneel, and she finally turned to leave. “We will revisit in the morning.”

Exasperated, Igneel loosed a breath and hunched his shoulders. “Fine.  I have some phone calls to make and paperwork to fill out now that you’re awake.  Get some rest, or look through these.  Whichever you can be bothered with.”  Igneel took the rest of the stack of photos and dropped them into Gajeel’s lap before turning to leave.  He ran a tired hand through his hair and sighed to himself on the way out of the room, “Heaven knows I have miles to go through this before I get any sleep.”  

Finally alone, Gajeel’s mouth hung open in his wake.  Miles to go.  The words rang through him, loud but echoed, like someone shouting it into a cave.  Promises to keep.  Again, louder, and he grit his teeth.  “Where have I heard this?” he growled to himself.  All of this information thrown at him at once had his stomach twisting, and those words in particular sent his heart into overtime.  The blood pounded in his ears and there was a sudden shift from just feeling like he needed to leave, to feeling he needed to be somewhere.

Eventually, he looked down to the stack in his lap, the photos askew from being tossed there.  The photo of himself was on top, staring angrily back at him.  Gajeel’s lip curled, and he was ready to toss them aside when something near the back of the stack caught his attention, peaking out just slightly between the others.  All the other photos looked more or less the same to him, but this one…

A sliver of vibrant blue was tucked in with the others, suddenly screaming at him to pick it up.  His hand moved independent of everything else, pulling out that particular picture and holding it up in the light to see it better.  Not a single thing in him told him why he chose that picture, why that one called to him, but at the same time everything in him said that one.  Pick up that one.  

Staring at it, his lungs deflated and his heart slammed against his ribs, aggravating the monitor at his bedside.  This photo wasn’t like the others, it wasn’t a mugshot or something clipped out from a newspaper.  It was a personal photo, like someone had taken it from a frame and added it to the file.  Someone had taken this in a place that looked far more comfortable than where he was.  

She sat there, on the edge of a puffy couch, beaming up at the camera, with a blonde girl he didn’t know draping herself over the back of the sofa to get into the picture with her.

That hair.  The brilliantly blue hair with a ribbon of yellow tied into it, the bright smile spread in captured laughter that added rosyness to her cheeks.  The room itself, with an ottoman just out of focus in the foreground and a naturally lit kitchen in the back, suddenly felt familiar.  Why would a place like this look familiar to him?  And most of all, what chance was there that he knew someone like that?  Gajeel saw his mugshot, even with no memories he knew he didn’t look friendly.  The way his foul mouth and inclinations of violence came so naturally to him, there was no possible way he had any connection to a happy scene like this.  It felt like a sin to even feel familiar with it.

Trying to calm his fluttering heart, Gajeel shut his eyes tight, pushing his free hand over his eyes to try and wipe away the image.  He wanted so badly to rid himself of the conflict, and found himself craving the emptiness of before.  In the vast dark of his mind, another image instead flickered to life.  The details flashed so quickly he could have missed them, but the echo left behind by them was enough for him to latch onto.

Small, soft hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look down at her.  Look down into those warm, brown eyes that begged him to calm down.  Eyes that looked to him with pleading gentleness, not fear, apprehension, or distaste.  “Trust me,” she said.  

Trust me.

“Levy,” the name slipped past his lips in a haggard gasp before he even realized it was there.  The beeping on the monitor next to him skipped a whole beat.  His chest heaved, and his mind became a whirl of unfocused color, echoed voices, and flashes of images that came and went so quickly he couldn’t keep them.  The room spun and again, he felt like he might heave on the floor.  A groan built up into him as he curled forward into a ball and scattered the rest of the stack, clutching the one picture like a lifeline.

Sleep wouldn’t come.  In fact, it had evaded her for hours now.  She laid there, staring at the ceiling for longer than she really knew.  Slowly, Levy turned her head to look at the digital clock at her bedside.  4:37am.

With a groan, she rolled over, burying her face in the pillow.  The black cat at the foot of the bed adjusted with her to keep comfortable.

She had been sleeping better.  Overall she did sleep better, despite everything.  But tonight was entirely different, because of what she had done the day before.  In many ways it set her back in her progress, but it also cleared a massive obstacle from her own recovery.

Natsu came to her early the previous morning with a request, one that had him shifting on his feet and wringing his hands out uneasily.  In fact, she had to tell him herself to come out with it.

“They… Lisanna wants you to come to the home.  For Rogue,” he said.  Levy’s eyes widened in response, and he quickly added, “If you’re up to it!  She thinks it would be good for both of you to speak to each other.  Outside of, that place.  She said it would be a good way to move forward, but only if you agree.  Rogue already has.”

It was the most absurd request she could have been given.  Sure, she wanted to know once if he was alright, if he had gotten out of everything, but to be put in the same room with him again was unthinkable.  Impossible.  Entirely different; that man had stolen her from this very house with Jose, he was the reason she had trouble lifting her arm higher than shoulder level.  

Levy squared up to say no, absolutely not, but instead what came out was: “I’ll do it.”

She hadn’t a single clue why she agreed, and as she sat in that living room across from him, even with Lisanna present as a mediator, she berated herself for ever saying yes.  This was a bad idea, it was a terrible idea and I need to just leave.  To back out, she thought.  Levy had her hands clasped so tightly over her lap that her knuckles were white and her fingers started to tingle.  She wanted to stare at the floor, like he was, but she couldn’t tear her intense stare away from him.  As if, were she to look away, he would come for her.  

He looked equally uncomfortable to be here, and he had been told from the start that his brother was in the next room if he needed him.  A support system on the other side of the wall.  Rogue refused to have him in the room, saying he wanted to do it without him, but now, he looked like he regretted it.

“Rogue, would you like to start?” Lisanna finally prompted from her seat, notepad poised over her lap.  Someone needed to break the silence, because neither one of them was going to.

He shifted uncomfortably and Levy could see his throat bob with a heavy swallow.  Finally, after several silent seconds, he met her gaze.  She had to note that he looked healthier; his face had filled out, the darkness was gone from around his eyes, and he looked more boyish than he ever had before.  If only slightly, that did put a small part of her at ease.  She was looking at a person, rather than a figment of her nightmares.  “I’m sorry, Ms. McGarden,” he said, voice shaking.

“Levy,” she replied quickly, and he straightened a little.  “Please, just, my first name.”  They called her that at the lab.  Jose called her that.  The officers interviewing her called her that.  “If we are going to try and do this, let’s just talk to each other, like people,” she said.  “You get to be that now.”  She felt like it was the right thing to say, even if her heart still raced sitting across from him.

Rogue blinked at her a moment, then nodded.  “Then,” he began again, “I am sorry, Levy.  For the pain I’ve caused you.”  His eyes glanced at her now unbandaged shoulder and he swallowed again, remembering just as vividly as she did what happened that day.  What it felt like for him to pierce her like that.  “I am sorry for all of it.”

“I accept your apology,” she replied, sticking with her earlier commitment to find forgiveness.  What else was she supposed to say?  That it was ‘okay?’  Because it most certainly wasn’t.  No part of what they went through was okay, and despite all that she felt she could never begin to fathom what he and the other subjects were trying to wade through.  If apologizing to her was part of his recovery, then she would do what she needed to.  But it didn’t do anything to get rid of the acrid taste in her mouth, or the sweat in her palms.  Which left her wondering, how was she going to make any part of this about her?  How would this help her like it was supposed to help him?

“Is there anything you wish to say to him, Levy?” Lisanna asked, snapping her out of her thoughts and from the heavy, then turned intense stare she had through Rogue that kept his gaze to the floor.  “This meeting is for both of you to try and move past what you experienced.  To say whatever is unsaid,” Lisanna prompted.  Levy glanced to her and saw the whole first page of her notepad was already full, and she wondered how she wrote so quickly.  “It’s for your recovery too, so if you can both achieve closure here, with the… ‘relationship’ you had to one another in this, I think it will help immensely.”

Levy started in her seat, staring wide-eyed at the doctor like she had grown a second head.  “Relationship?” she asked almost breathlessly, trying to tame the bitter grimace.  Rogue remained silent.

“I’m sorry, that was a poor choice of words.  I only meant--”

“I know what you meant.  And the way you keep looking at my shoulder I know you know what happened that day,” Levy said a little more sharply than she planned, “Our ‘relationship’ is that he--”  Lisanna lifted a hand to cut her off, and she did, but still Levy refused to let her talk, shaking her head harshly.  The ‘unsaid words’ she had mentioned were not going to help, because what was unsaid was that her ‘relationship’ to him in all this amounted to a shoulder that still didn’t move like it should and a bubbling fear in her gut she couldn’t rationally get rid of.  “Don’t use a word so… mundane, so harmless, to describe what we experienced.”  For some reason, the use of ‘we’ and the anger at the doctor’s vernacular kindled the tiniest sense of kinship to the man across from her.  “I’m not going to tell you how to do your job but,” she threw a quick glance to Rogue, who found the armrest of his chair to suddenly be the most interesting thing in the room, “there’s a lot I want to say; that I could say, but that isn’t going to help.  There’s no ‘link’ between us, just a shared traumatic experience that I want us both to be able to move on from.”

Looking back to Rogue fully, she shifted a little.  Levy rolled her shoulders, like trying to roll off the tingling where the old injury was.

“I had terrible nightmares,” she said to him now, watching the words hit him to the back of his seat, and she could swear she saw a shadow skitter around his ankles.  Regardless, she pushed forward.  “About you.  About all of it, I still can’t sleep some nights,” she paused, picking her words carefully.  “For a little while, when my shoulder was acting up, I was angry at you.  For listening to him, for helping him that day, but,” another pause, and she could see the color slowly drain from his face.  Lisanna watched more intently than before, like she was ready to end this any moment.  “I realized that none of it was your fault.  I know it wasn’t.  I do know that.  It was him, he did this to all of you, and to me.  But so, so much more to you all..  So, I still have the nightmares, but most of them now are about him.  Following me, showing up at my house, rip--” Levy swallowed the lump in her throat and shook away the unease to finish the statement, “ripping out my stitches right after I called out to Gajeel.”  The shifting of Dr. Strauss in her seat confirmed to Levy that she had details, but not all of them.  Not these.  “My nightmares are about him, not you.  Because I am forgiving you, Rogue.  I understand all of this, and I understand it was not your fault.  And though you and I may not ever be friends, though I am still here, sweating, from just sitting near you: I forgive you.”

He blinked, his mouth hanging open slightly.  Rogue started to say something but stopped himself twice, deeming the words inadequate.  Finally, “Thank you.”  Simple, but powerful.  Judging by Levy’s face, it wasn’t quite what she had expected.  “I didn’t expect you to come, let alone forgive me for what happened, so thank you for that.  But also, I don’t know if it all would have ended if you… if you hadn’t called out to him.  If you hadn’t been there, he might never have woken up; none of us would have.  You started the chain reaction.  So I hope,” he swallowed heavily, somehow managing the tiniest, hopeful smile that sent a crack through Levy’s heart, “I hope he wakes up again.”

She sat, stunned, and in her periphery she could see Lisanna relax just slightly.  It was the most she had heard him say in the short time she had ‘known’ him, and it was the most human he had sounded.  The words were his own, unpracticed and with feeling.  She could see the tension start to melt away from him, like it had been a weight on his shoulders since he returned to this place.

Levy found herself returning his smile with more ease than she expected, and nodded to him.  I hope so too.

The whole meeting had gone about as well as it could have, and yet, here she was now, staring at her ceiling at nearly five in the morning, unable to close her eyes for too long.  When she closed her eyes, she felt that pain again, she saw Jose again, and she heard the screams and explosions again.  She could taste the smoke, and had to keep wiping at her face to convince herself that there wasn’t any soot there.  

So she kept her eyes open, replaying the whole thing over in her head again.  She had been terrified to sit there with him, wondering if he would snap back to the old him at any moment and come after her again, with no one to stop him.  Certainly not Gajeel.  But yet, she really did forgive him, that was the honest truth.  Rationally she knew he was just as much a victim as any of them, and he would not hurt her again with no one to enforce his conditioning or threaten his life.  

She would recover from this, and she would sleep better the next night, but for now she had to forfeit her peace of mind.  Thoughts of a knock at her door, the room suddenly becoming smaller and filling with smoke would not be letting sleep come tonight.  Too many fresh wounds picked back open again.

The clock read 5:15 when she hauled herself out of her parent’s bed, and dutifully, Lily got up to follow her.  The cat rarely left her side, and he must have sensed her turmoil tonight to get up out of the warm bed to follow her.  She was thankful for her thick socks, because even through the fabric she could feel the cold bite of the hardwood.  Still, she put on thick slippers for good measure.

Levy shuffled into the living room, just barely starting to catch the grey morning light, and sought out the coffee pot in the kitchen.  If she wasn’t going to sleep, she may as well soothe herself with something to make her a little more alive.

Her eyes caught sight of the newspaper on her counter, and she frowned.  It had been sitting there for two days, read and reread before being placed back onto that same spot.  It was opened and folded to one article, the headline tormenting her even though she couldn’t bring herself to throw it away.

‘Jupiter Technologies Closed Permanently in Wake of Fatal Explosion.’

She could probably recite the article from memory at this point.  The surviving staff had been detained and their trials set for their involvement with the company.  However, from the way the article was written, it seemed like the trial was only for the sake of following due justice, as the ethical and human rights violations of the company were so severe and monumental that a guilty ruling was the only possible outcome.

The names of the subjects didn’t appear anywhere in the article, and there was only a small mention of their existence, that they were in transition programs and would be kept anonymous.  They’d been excused of any possible wrongdoing, which Natsu had told her before the article ever printed.  That was the last update he had gotten from his father on the case, who had suddenly told him almost a week ago that the investigation was far more sensitive now and he couldn’t give any more details.  And thus, Levy was left wholly in the dark regarding Gajeel’s condition and if he had even awoken yet.

On the subject of Dr. Porla, he never emerged from the facility, but his charred ID badge was uncovered in the rubble, and he was officially listed among the deceased.  Levy could only wonder if he had perished in the chaos… or if the subjects had found him first.  She bit her lip, conflicted on whether she was comfortable with either outcome.  In a way, she felt he should have had to suffer through the trial and prison time, but the subjects were still owed their own brand of justice for what they had been through.  But as much as she hated the man for what he had done, it was still difficult for her to wish harm on a dead man.  Still, all that aside, the knowledge that he was gone helped her sleep considerably better.  It was largely why she kept the article in the first place.  Printed closure.

An impatient yowl from her furred companion brought her back to the present and she looked down at the tomcat.  “I’m up so that means it’s breakfast time right?”  He answered her with a gravelly purr and the upturning of his nose.   She laughed a little at him and shook her head before shaking some kibble into his bowl.

She turned from him to set up the coffee pot and get it brewing before she went to stand in front of the double doors leading out to the back yard.  Winter had not let up on the thick white blanket across her property, but she could tell that today would at least be a clear, sunny day for once.  As time passed, golden rays started to poke through the trees, and she tried to focus on the beauty of that.  

Levy tried to keep from thinking about the times he had come through this door, or the time he left that massive dent in her counter that she tried to never look at.  She tapped her palms against her cheeks and turned back to the bubbling pot to pour herself a cup with cream and sugar..  Lily was crunching away happily in his bowl, but just as she was getting ready to pour her first cup, her cell phone started to chime from her bedroom.

She pinched her brows together as she walked quickly, surprised that anyone would be calling her this early.  Natsu’s name lit up the screen, which really only confused her more.  Tapping to answer, she addressed her friend, “Natsu? Are you o--”

“Levy!” he interrupted her, sounding almost out of breath.  “You need to get to the station right now.  It’s Gajeel, I can’t talk, I’m not even supposed to be calling you, but you need to get here.”

Levy felt all of the color drain from her face, and before she could so much as stammer at her friend, the line clicked.  In shock, she yanked her phone away to stare at the menu screen, trying like hell to even start and process what he had just said to her.

Was that good?  Bad?  He gave her nothing except a vague command and then hung up on her.  Before the thought of calling him back even crossed her mind, she was in the closet, grabbing anything remotely functional to change into.  Haphazardly, she threw on the layers and with her stomach in her throat, she raced out the front door.

She praised herself for having the foresight to put on her boots with the most traction, because otherwise she was bound to crack her skull at the speed she was moving.  The station was only a couple blocks from her house, thankfully, because any farther and she may have collapsed on the way from her pounding heart.

In fact she felt like she might as she burst through the doors of the station.  “Where,” she croaked, and the officer she saw first stood abruptly.  By the look on his face, it seemed like he had an inkling she might show.  And that he had been instructed to stop her.

“Where is he,” she persisted, heading straight for the doors that would take her to the back.  Before she could touch the knob, the other officer was already through it, placing his hands on her shoulders.

“You can’t be here, Miss McGarden.”

“Where is Natsu?  I know Natsu, I know his father; where are they.”  She would not let up.  If Natsu knew he was here, then Natsu knew where to take her.

The officer stared down at her with exasperated defeat, but still pushed back on her shoulders.  Levy shrugged out of his touch and took a sharp step back, glaring up at him.  Waiting for an answer or explanation.

“I’ll get Natsu, but you have to wait out here,” he said finally, waiting until she sat in one of the chairs to head into the back.

The moments after were so crushingly quiet that she felt she couldn’t breathe.  The world around her was barely awake and yet here she was more wildly alert than she had been in weeks.

Was he dead?  Had he not awoken yet?  Was he not going to come back?  The possibilities and questions swirled in her head enough to make her feel sick.  Enough to put her back on her feet and say to hell with whomever tried to stop her.  

Levy nearly knocked Natsu over with how hard she slammed into him bursting through the door.  Instantly his hands were on her shoulders to steady her.  “Levy!” he exclaimed.  “Slow down, I have to tell you something before you go in there.”

Her eyes flew up to him, instant worry on her face.  The tone of his voice turned her stomach.  “Is he dead?” was the first thing to come tumbling out of her mouth.  Barely a pause between the words and a noticeable crack in her voice.

“Levy, geez, no.  He’s alive,” he could see the relief manifest all over her face, “That’s what my dad was talking about, when he said he couldn’t give us more updates, “ the impatience in her face had him leaning back slightly from her.  “He lost his memory, Lev.  When he woke up he didn’t know who he was.  Mira knows he’s gotten some of it back, but he’s completely clammed up.  He said he wouldn’t talk to anyone until he got back to Magnolia.  They have no idea how much he remembers and this was their only way to find out.”

“How long,” she demanded, her voice shaking.

“Late last night, they had him in the second interview room.  Lisanna was on her way when I called you to take him to the apartments,” he replied, just as she started to push past him.  “Wait, don’t get all fired up.  Just be ready, alright?  He might… he might not know who you are, Levy, and technically you’re not supposed to be here.”

Those words warred against the relief that he was awake.  Alive.  Here.  Levy couldn’t decide if the memory loss was enough for her to worry over.  Just having him back here, safe, might be enough for her.  She steadied herself, gave him a grateful look, then brushed past him without another word.  She had only been here a few times before with Natsu and Lucy, but it was enough to know where she was going in the small building.

But when she arrived to the room she was looking for, it was empty.  Her heart sunk.  She couldn’t have missed him, not when she was so close.  Urgently, she whipped on her heels to head back out the way she came, only to come face to face with Igneel.  The intimidating man stared down at her for a second, before loosing a sigh and throwing a sharp glance over his shoulder to his son.  She could have sworn she heard a mumbled ‘of course.’  Levy fully expected him to stop her, to tell her it was too sensitive to be here, but instead: “They just left out the back.  If you’re quick--”

That was all she needed.  Levy was already sprinting for the back exit before he could finish.  Her palms stung with the impact as she slammed the door open, squinting into the now-blinding morning light.  But even with all the white, the black mane of hair was the first thing her eyes went to.  Lisanna and Mira were to his right, and he had an escort of two other officers with them.  

“Gajeel!”  Her voice cut through the frigid, quiet air, and all of them came to a sudden halt.  A sense of deja vu washed over her, and she prayed it would end better this time.  The Strauss sisters were the first to look back at her, then to the other officers with a silent ‘hold back.’  Knowingly, they looked at each other, then to Gajeel.  

Levy’s eyes were fixed on the very still Gajeel, no one else existed.  He had gone stick straight, she could tell even through the massive coat they put him in.  But he wouldn’t turn around.  Natsu’s warning repeated in her head, but still her heart hammered against her ribs in anticipation.  Turn around, god please, look at me.  Know me.

It felt like an eternity before he moved, turning his head just enough to glance sidelong at her with those ruby red eyes.  Looking at that face again, unreadable though it was, nearly knocked the air of out her.  Her knees wobbled beneath her, and her eyes started to burn.  She clasped a hand over her mouth, overwhelmed with the relief of seeing him there.  Alive, okay.  

Gajeel took a quick step back in her direction, turning more to face her straight on, his eyes wide and expression something between surprise and intense interest.  Like seeing a ghost, as the saying goes.

Levy took a step forward, mouth open with words she was trying to say, but couldn’t muster.  The lump in her throat swallowed them all, and she produced only haggard breaths.  Did he recognize her?  Or was he looking at a stranger?  The latter possibility, with him in front of her, now hurt a lot more than she had expected it to.  Still, the tears started to overflow, hot down her cheeks.

Then, his shoulders slumped in relief and tiniest of curls formed at the corner of his mouth, before…

“Shrimp.”  

A single word, but a word with so much power over her that everything instantly became clear.

An unrestrained cry escaped her, and before she knew what she was doing, she was racing for him the best she could through the snow.  Gajeel took several long, quick strides to meet her that turned into a sudden sprint when she stumbled.  In a flurry of white powder, he dropped to his knee and slid to catch her, colliding with a loud thump.

Gajeel wrapped himself around her, hunching forward, as she sunk as far into him as was possible.  Her face disappeared into his chest, tiny hands gripping the front of his shirt, and she nearly disappeared entirely under his large arms and the wrap of his jacket.  He took one deep inhale of her hair and a pervasive peace melted every tension her had been carrying in his muscles.

“You remember,” Levy whimpered into his chest, and a chuckle rumbled through him.  A sound that created a flutter in her chest; a sound she didn’t realize she missed this much until now.

Gajeel remembered her, and the poem she read him that night, the moment he looked at her photo.  He didn’t know where he was, he didn’t know the people he was with, but as the last memory he had of her came back to him, he realized getting back to her… or at least finding out if she made it out okay, was the utmost priority.   He managed to get the chief to disclose that she was alive, but nothing else.  He knew they wouldn’t take him back until he was recovered, but he needed to be absolutely certain they would take him back to Magnolia.  He couldn’t stay there in Hargeon.  That meant not talking, or telling them what he remembered, until they took him back.  A powerplay, the best way he could manage.

“I remembered you Lev; everything else just came with it,” he answered, softly.  There was something restrained in his voice, joy perhaps, but she couldn’t pin it.  “It’s always been you.”

Slowly, as though she was afraid she might wake from the dream, she eased back from him and rested a cold hand on his cheek.  The affection in his eyes for her was enough to shatter her, and another sob threatened to break past her lips.  “You’re home,” she said, unable to hold back the laughter bubbling from her chest.

Gajeel smiled, not smirked, down at her.  Home, indeed.  There was no other way to describe her.  Over and over again she seemed to pull him from the dark, even when he had nothing left, no idea who he was, she was still the one to pull him back.  “You’re mine,” he replied, earning him an unreservedly delighted smile.  A smile that made him weak and sent his heart running double time.  Looking at that beautiful face, he realized it was now or never, and he had taken long enough with saying this as it was.  “I love you too, Shrimp,” he said, cupping her cheek with his large hand.  Levy leaned into the touch, welcoming it, and placed her palm over his.  

That was it, he couldn’t hold back from her any longer.  With a light tug, he pulled her back to him with no resistance, and brought his lips hungrily to hers.  She was pliant in his grip, melding herself to him as his other arm shifted to curl around the small of her back.  This was so different from their kiss in the lab, he couldn’t help but dwell on the details.  Levy smelled again like lavender, and she tasted like something familiar he couldn’t name.  Something he’d drank in a past life.  He could feel her smile on his mouth, and her fervent effort to remain close, to make up for all the lost time, created a powerful surge of emotion in his chest. 

It was over.  All of it.  Jose was dead, he vividly remembered what happened in those final moments the day after he first remembered her.  She was here, safe in his arms again with no devil on the horizon threatening to upend that.  And… and he was back in Magnolia, in the open and being offered a new start.  Regardless of whatever trials lay ahead to settle into a real life, the worst was done and he had her by his side for the future.  In his lifetime Gajeel might never be able to understand what he had done to deserve her or the life that now opened up ahead of him, but he could certainly learn to stop questioning it.  Every one of those details became so powerfully real the second he kissed her, enough to almost completely overwhelm him.  After a moment, he thought, why not let it?

A laugh tumbled out of him into the kiss, and she pulled back to create enough space between them to ask what was funny, but he was already scooping her up to get back onto his feet.  He swallowed her surprised yelp with another kiss, spinning on the balls of his feet and scattering more fresh snow around them.  Her surprise turned to muffled laughter against him as she wrapped her arms around his neck, holding tight to her dragon.  Tight enough that both of them knew she did not intend to ever let him go again.

Mira looked to her sister, a small smile on her face.  “I think it’s safe to say we will have no problems getting him to speak with us now.  Or settling him in for that matter.”  

Lisanna answered with a small laugh, shaking her head, “No.  No I don’t think we will,” she replied with a tone of relieved finality.

[canaryatlaw]

So I didn't know how I was gonna feel about today, first day back at work after vacation, but overall it was a really good day! Woke up at 7 (ugh) but got out of bed, got ready and hopped on the bus. Upon arriving at work I was informed almost immediately by our calendar lead that my boss called in sick, so I'd have to figure out what to do for the day. Okay, I had some stuff left to do on the case where we're trying to track down the mom and kid using relative info and such, so I spent most of the morning doing that, trying to track down addresses and the like, not a great amount of success but got some leads. I had snacks to accompany my lunch but no main dish (pretzels and an apple aren't really lunch) so I walked over to the deli nearby and got a sub from there. It was pretty good, but very salty the way the meat was layered so I ended up saving most of it for later. During lunch I played candy crush and continued listening to the rest of the DCTV podcast episodes from the marathon this weekend that I've been like, binging all day haha. After lunch I was effectively out of work so I went searching for more, and got two permanency hearings set for the first week of July. They're both considered "medically complex kids" because they have severe physical and mental disabilities as a result of horrific abuse as very young babies (heartbreaking). The first lives in a medical facility and recently had a DNR signed for him by the department (since they're his guardian) because his respiratory problems are getting very progressed sadly. The second was doing a bit better, in a foster home he'd been in since he was very young and had a good relationship with his foster mom, she would've adopted him by now but they think it's better for him to stay in the system so they have the full resources of the system at their disposal to care for him (which makes some sense, I suppose). So I spent most of the rest of the afternoon looking over their files and paperwork and coming up with a question list for them. By the time I finished it was like 4:20, and I'm not gonna go ask for more work to start when tomorrow my boss will be back and have new assignments for me. So I mostly chilled on my phone. Sometime around then we had discovered that the Lotzers group effort to get Caity Lotz nominated for a teen choice award had been successful, which was incredibly exciting because we spent so much fucking work on that haha like you don't even know how much effort went into that so I'm very happy it worked. I'm kind of lol'ing that they moved all the CW superhero shows to the action show categories instead of sci-fi, because they were DEFINITELY all nominated under fantasy, I was watching them pour in lol. I guess they felt like it was better distributed that way? I mean, 5 out of 6 nominees for Action TV Actress were from CW superhero shows, lol (Caity, Danielle, Candice, EBR, and Melissa) so clearly they got a lot of attention. So our group chat was blowing up trying to figure out how to get as many votes as possible in and figuring out the rules (it was a bummer to find out only votes from within the US count when so many shows have an international fanbase). So I was mostly on my phone managing that while also playing candy crush, lol, can't help myself. I left around 4:45 to catch the bus, and ran into my juvenile justice professor on the elevator down (his office is 3 floors above mine) so it's always nice to see him. Took the bus home, encountered some rain along the way but it was dry by the time I got home around 6:15. Pretty much right away I got changed, grabbed my cart and then ran off to the grocery store so I could be back in time for my conference call at 8. It didn't take very long, I knew what I wanted so it was fairly efficient. Got back, put away the groceries and made some dinner (eggs and sandwich from earlier pulled apart and eaten piece by piece, which was much better) while listening to more DCTV podcasts before it was time for the conference call for PAD. Dialed in and we got started pretty soon, a lot of just planning and stuff for the next year. It was a bit difficult for me to try not to control the conversation since I was the only one on the board last year and nobody else knows what was going on then- but I'm not president and I'm not running the meeting, lol. But I just ended up interjecting frequently but tried to do so politely and only when I had something valuable to add to the conversation (I tried to limit my sarcastic comments too, but I'm not sure how much I'm physically able to do that). It was a pretty good call, we talked about the auction and the mock trial team, both subjects I had some expertise and knowledge in so I contributed quite a bit to both discussions. And yeah, it was pretty productive, we'll have another one on July 10th to get the ball rolling on auction things and start really prepping for the school year. We finished around 8:40, so I turned on Justice League while perusing the internet for various purposes, and continued to do to so for the next hour and a half, until I saw a retweet on my twitter feed asking for help filing a civil order of protection. Well, I know how to do that, I work for a clinic that does that. So I volunteered to help and wound up talking to this lady for a while, ending up looking up California law on the subject and finding the forms. She was very grateful and I was super happy I could help her. I had another twitter friend DM me over the weekend about a potential medical malpractice claim, so I sent her to my dad and they talked today. I like helping people from a legal standpoint because it's not something a lot of people can do and I just like helping people in general so I was pleased with both situations. I stayed up a bit later than I would've liked dealing with that, but I didn't mind because I wanted to make sure she knew what to do. And yeah, shortly after that I started writing this post and here we are. Sleep now, still gotta wake up in 5 hours (I really need to be better about getting to sleep earlier). Goodnight sweeties. Hope your Monday didn't suck.